#this is also my fun fact i break out every so often at bars and clubs

[tennessoui]

#a new hope is a world war 2 movie and rogue one is the only one to understand that ANH was Lucas' response to the Vietnam War, actually.

huh, I've always thought later movies had more in common with the Vietnam war, like the battle scenes in return of the jedi are very very reminiscent of the vietnam war. though absolutely I don't think the symbolism or connections can't mix movie to movie

but in my opinion, a new hope is a very clear-cut homage to world war II and specifically the air battles and dog fights of that specific war - there are several moments in the run on the death star where we learn the pilot's name and feel a connection/bond to this character, only for them to go down a few moments later, which matches how air artillery pilots were revered during wwii in a way that i don't think carried through to the vietnam war--people knew their names and a few reached celebrity status. and i think i read somewhere that lucas actually watched real dog fight footage from wwii while filming anh which i think is really cool! (i just did a quick google, and this is true)

it also makes sense that anh takes a lot of influence from wwii, given that there were a lot of world war two movies released in the 70s (though I suppose there's been a lot of world war two movies that have been released every decade since the end of wwii!) - i guess to capitalize on the fact that there was a new audience raring for wwii stories who weren't directly in the fight? or because of the vietnam war, many people wanted to watch a war movie that felt more like their parents'a and grandparents' war experiences where it was good vs evil instead of...you know. the vietnam war.

but all together, it's really the emphasis on dogfights and individual heroes for me that makes anh feel more wwii than vietnam war, and i'm sure there are a thousand people who can say this in a much more moving and eloquent fashion, but i stand by my tag! rogue one is the only movie made later (after the first 3) that really understands the roots of anh

[mujeans]

MY ONLY LOVE, MY ONLY ONE ✦ LCY

SYNOPSIS ✦ you and anton’s relationship through the years - because maybe not all love has to be young.

“if we’re both still single by the time we’re thirty , let’s get married.”

TAGS ✦ anton x f!reader, one-shot, angst, fluff, non-idol au, yn has mommy issues, slice of life, bffs to lovers, slow-burn

WARNINGS ✦ mentions of drinking at a bar, reader isn't really referred to as y/n or _, just "you" 😭

WC ✦ 4k

PLAYLIST ✦ only by leehi, still into you by paramore, every summertime by niki, toothbrush by dnce, bad by wavetoearth

AUTHOR'S CORNER ✦ was originally meant for heeseung, but i changed it lolz also ik i said i'd post it in a few days but i finished it early and wanted to put it out so i hope u enjoy!

13

snobby, proud, self-centered - these were the words that described anton's first impression of you.

he'd just moved to town, tagging along with his parents to the local mall when his mother stopped in her tracks, causing him to nearly walk into her. he looked at her confusedly when she suddenly gasped, and squealed someone's name, before she practically ran up to another woman, who he'd soon find out to be your own mother.

"guys, this is my old friend from college," she'd told him and his dad. "and this is her daughter," she said as she gestured to you.

you'd been few inches taller than him, so he was intimidated by you and immediately got the impression you were looking down on him. (well, you were, literally.)

"why don't you two kids go to the arcade? here, my daughter has a game card," your mother spoke as she ushered you two away whilst the adults went somewhere else to catch up. anton and you awkwardly stood next to each other as the parents left you two alone.

once they were out of sight, you seemed to deflate; the intimidating aura wiped and replaced by a more relaxed and amicable ‘you’. somehow, you felt more human, and he let out his own steady breath when you smiled and held out your hand for him to shake.

“sorry, my mother can be a lot to handle. you play DDR?”

turns out, you were way more fun when your mother wasn’t around.

16

holding hands was something you two did often.

your friends would often tease you two about it, but neither you nor anton thought much of it. it was completely platonic, right?

but nonetheless, you two were relentlessly asked if you were dating, even when one or the other was in a relationship with someone else. in fact, your closeness had led to your first and most recent boyfriend breaking up with you.

"can you believe it? everyone knows we're literally just friends," you ranted to anton later that night. "so what if we're close? he himself had his own girl best friend - several in fact!"

anton hummed to let you know he was listening, busy working on an assignment that he'd spent far too long procrastinating.

"i mean, how insecure can he be? is it really that unbelievable for a boy and a girl to have a completely platonic relationship?" you paced around his room, not caring whether or not he was listening. you just needed to get the day's frustrations out - and where better than anton's comfy and personalised room?

something about the hanging leaves, band posters, the warm lamp in the corner lighting up the room, it was your favourite place to hide when your mother would be in another one of her moods.

"i'm never going to date again. ugh."

"you sure about that?" anton half-heartedly asked.

"yes. if i have to sacrifice our friendship to kiss some guy, then no thanks."

anton turned to you with a smile playing at his lips. he didn't take you seriously at all.

"anton..." you whined. this wasn't funny to you.

"sorry, sorry," he said, but you could still hear the laugh in his voice. instead, he took your hands in his apologetically, the warmth a familiar gesture.

"if you never date again, then i won't either."

"anton, you've never dated."

"well, it's like you said. if i have to sacrifice our friendship to kiss some girl, then it's a no for me too."

he stared at you sincerely. you guys knew you both would probably still go on to date other people, but the promise felt real anyway. what with the way he was staring up at you.

"swearing yourself to celibacy for me? how sweet," you relented, sitting down on his bed, your hands still clasped in his.

suddenly, an idea popped into your head.

using your linked hands to pull him closer, his chair rolled over, knocking against your knees.

"anton, let's make a pact: if we're still both single by the time we're thirty, then let's get married."

18

graduation came faster than anton expected, and he only realises then that he's known you for five years now.

as expected, you and him had taken lots of photos together (wait, when did he get taller than you?), and eventually your families decided to dine together at some fancy restaurant after the ceremony. it a celebration of the two of you leaving high school, and moving onto the next chapter of your lives: university. something you were particularly stressed about.

"why is applying for uni so hard?? i'm just a girl - just accept me!"

anton could empathise with that sentiment - he'd been an exceptional student, yet his lack of curriculars had ended him up on three waitlists, and with one rejection. not to mention how complicated the process was, what with all the different requirements for every university. honestly, he felt like he'd been lied to by all those people telling him not to worry.

looking over at the parents busy in conversation, he noticed that the both of you had finished your meals already.

"can we go? i'm gonna take her out for a drive," he asked them, gesturing to you.

surprised by the sudden plan, you looked to your parents for approval.

"aren't you going to stay for desserts?" your dad asked.

"i'm sure we'll find something sweet on the way," anton replied simply.

"well, i'm okay with it," your dad agreed, looking at anton's parents who nodded back.

you watched him turn to your mother, a silent argument spoken through their eyes. she reluctantly sighs, a sign of surrender, and you cheered on the inside as anton pulled you away and out of the restaurant.

going for drives was something you and anton always did when either was stressed or upset. windows down and music blared as the sky turned an array of colours, it really felt like the movies in moments like this. you sighed contentedly, head propped up on your elbow as you stared outside. the wind combined with ONLY by LeeHi being the only sounds between you and anton.

"ah, i'm not sure if i can do this whole university thing," you confessed your thoughts. "if applying is already this hard, i can't imagine the real thing."

"it won't be this bad. c'mon, we'll be together, right?" anton's voice replied.

"always."

silence engulfed the two of you again.

"i want to do something crazy. something that'll make her mad."

"yeah? any ideas for this crazy plan of yours?"

"hmm... what about..." you trailed off, thinking for a while.

"what about a month-long trip around europe?"

anton's head snapped to you, eyebrows reaching his hairline.

"seriously? she'll actually lose it."

"not that she already hasn't already done so several times before," you grumbled into your elbow. "besides, i'm always sticking to her stupid rules. i just want to do something 'rebellious' before we get thrown back into classes and assignments and homeworks and blah blah blah..."

a pause. then, “let's do it. where do you want to start?"

"really? you'll do it with me?" you perk up, finally looking at him.

"duh," he rolls his eyes, as if you ever leaving him alone was such an unimaginable thought. "let's figure out those visas first though," he added as an afterthought.

19

2 Notifications yn : you free later this week? yn : feels like i haven't seen u in forever

anton sees the notifications later that night, and sighs as he pushes his hair out of his eyes. he takes a quick look at his monthly calendar.

to be truthful, the two of you had been swamped with finals and work this past semester, so you hadn’t been able to hang out as often as you used to.

seeing that the next part of his coursework wasn't due until next saturday, he decided he had just enough time.

anton: what about tmrw? 12pm at café bleu

"i was thinking..." you started. "what if we do another month-long trip this summer? like we did last year.”

anton grunted at the thought.

"honestly, i've stayed up countless nights this sem for this stupid assignment. i wanted to catch up on sleep thus summer.” i don't think i really have the time for another trip.

"oh. that's okay! we're both going back home anyway, so i'll just come over to yours like always."

"sure, if you want to watch me sleep all day."

but the way he said that - it was a clear no. he didn't have the time, not when he was going to spend all summer trying to catch up on missed sleep.

"never mind, then."

the waitress placed your orders in front of you, and the two of you began to eat in terse silence.

looking at him closely, you notice the darkened eyebags, the pale skin, the way he hadn't even bothered to wear a nice outfit. anton had been pretty cold towards you lately, and he felt guilty, but he couldn't help it. stress was a bully everyone was a victim of.

seeing the way your demeanour seemed to shrink, he was hit with a wave of shame and regret, and took hold of your hand.

"hey, remember that show we watched in senior year? it has a prequel movie coming out soon. we should watch it together."

you perked up immediately. "really? when?"

"november, i think."

he frowned when you faltered, but then you said something that completely sent his heart to the ground.

"i can’t. anton, i'm going on a study exchange programme."

19

talking to jake was easy. talking to him was nice.

in the three months since jake arrived from australia, anton and him had quickly become good friends, (although he would never be able to replace you). so of course he's sad that the exchange programme was coming to an end soon, and jake would have to leave for home.

however, that meant you'd be coming back too, and he was far more excited about that. the past three months had felt empty without you, even if you were a bit absent from his life for some time before the programme started.

so anton finds himself at café bleu in the same spot you'd told him about your plans, but this time with jake on the other side.

"we'll stay in touch though, yeah?" jake assured him. "i'll definitely come visit some time, this place is really great."

"i'll be looking forward to it."

"i think you're more looking forward to me leaving though, aye? what with your friend coming back too."

at the mention of you, anton couldn't stop the smile from spreading on his face. he really did miss you.

"yeah, she's my rock. always there for me - well, except for these past three months. hopefully you'll get to meet her when you visit."

"i'd love to meet the girl you've been talking about this whole time!"

"you'd get along well," anton nodded, imagining the three of you sharing a slice of cake at this very café. "hey, why don't i call her right now, and you can meet her? although it's just online."

jake nodded eagerly, "why not?"

pulling up his phone, anton quickly swiped to the favourites tab on his contacts app, and called you. after just two rings, you pick up.

"hey! what's up?" your voice greets him, bringing an instant smile to his face.

"nothing much, just wanted to introduce you to jake - he's the student who came in your place as part of the exchange programme," he introduced the guy, turning on his camera.

"oh, hi!" he hears you say after he turns the screen to face the other.

"hi! nice to finally meet you. hope australia treated you well,” jake starts smoothly.

"trust me, it has. everyone so nice and welcoming, i just love it here."

"sounds like you've settled in nicely, i'm almost sorry you'll have to pack up and leave again. but hey, you'll be back home and reunited with this guy, right?" jake laughed.

"well... about that."

anton knew something was up - your voice had that same tone as when you dropped the bomb that was you leaving for the next three months. just before you said your next line, anton felt his heart sink again like it did the first time.

"i've decided to transfer here.

"anton, i'm staying in australia."

22

once again, anton finds himself in a graduation gown. but for the first time, you're not at his side.

looking at the photos his mother took of him on her phone, he couldn't help but feel a little upset by the lack of you next to him. for the past nine years, he's never had much solo photos; you were always with him, sharing these moments.

but this time 'round, he's completely alone, and your friendship has devolved to instagram mutuals, reduced to liking each other's posts and reacting to stories. the thought leaves a bitter taste in his mouth.

surprisingly, your mother still came to watch him graduate, even if he was only ever just her friend's son.

"oh, anton. you've grown so much since i first met you."

"thank you, auntie," he says awkwardly.

"you know, i miss the two of you. my daughter's all the way in another country, so i barely see you anymore..." she trails off in thought. in the past few years since you left, she seemed to soften up in your absence, no doubt missing you despite the strained relationship between the two of you when you left.

"oh! have you seen the photos? she just graduated herself last week," she fished for her phone in her bag, and began to swipe through her camera roll to show him.

"i wish i could've been there, but i'm not sure she would've wanted that. she's lucky her dad attended instead."

anton shakes his head. "not true, i'm sure she would've wanted you there."

but he wasn’t sure. have your feelings about your mother changed? or were you still upset with her? he doesn’t know. he hasn’t known much about you in a long time.

"i guess we'll never know, will we?"

swiping through more photos, anton's eye caught onto a few of them, where you were standing particularly close to another guy.

"auntie, who's this?"

"ah, him? why, that's her boyfriend, of course." she then turned to look at him oddly. "hasn't she told you?"

he frowned, and shook his head. he's a little off put by the fact that you didn't bother telling him, but then again. you two haven't exactly been friends in a very long time.

and just like that, memories of a pact resurface in his head. it was never going to come true, wasn't it? but if you ended up marrying this guy, anton could never bring himself to watch.

the sound of his friends' voices brought him back to reality. "hey, anton! come over here-" and he forced himself to shake off the thoughts, joining the group instead.

24

anton had been learning to live life without you for the past four or five years now. he had a new friend group, a nice job in the city, his own apartment, all without his best friend. it was hard to unlearn all the mannerisms he didn't even realise he had for you, not until he would get home from the grocery and realise he bought two boxes of sushi like you used to share, or when he'd almost bought a second, folding mattress for when you'd come over for a sleepover, or even just holding an extra hair tie or two on his wrist in case you needed one.

and that was all in the past now, he's finally began to move on from mourning the loss of your friendship. he only thinks about you once in a blue moon, and his life feels like it's no longer on pause.

but you were always cruel to him.

"wait, what?"

right when he'd begun to move on, you came back.

anton stared at you in shock; when he heard the doorbell ring that day, he'd never have expected you to be on the other side. an intelligent 'wait, what?' was all he could muster when he finally registered just what, or who he was seeing.

"hi," you say in that familiar voice of yours. and you almost sound out of breath, although its clear you hadn't run there.

he finally lets you in after a moment, and you explain how you're moving back, and starting at a local company. you tell him about life back in australia, the friends and experiences you made. you tell him about the past five years of your life as if it was just any normal day after high school.

as if you hadn't just completely left him on his own, his other half gone with you.

although the conversation is stilted and awkward, and theres a gap between you that feels wider than the distance between australia and home, anton's still glad to see you. it almost feels unreal, and he wouldn't believe any of this was real if he couldn't feel your weight pushing down on the sofa, or the very essence of you in his living room.

you and anton agree to get coffee some time after you've settled back in, and he asks if you need any help.

"yes, please! its like i brought my whole life from australia back with me, what with all the boxes i need to unpack."

and so, leaning against the door frame, anton watches you walk away again, catching himself wondering if it would be the last time he'd see you again in a while. he had to keep reminding himself that you were back for good.

"oh, and me and my boyfriend broke up."

anton sucks in a breath, and slips his hands in his pocket to hide the shaking. he wasn't sure how he was supposed to feel - angry? relieved? sorry? anton hasn't known how to feel in years.

"just wanted you to know," you spoke into the air, after you received no response from him.

so with an awkward wave, you leave him once again, with a promise to see each other soon.

27

"happy birthday!" people greet as they enter the bar, giving anton a quick hug.

"thank you," he smiles back. "wow, twenty-seven. i feel so old."

"twenty-seven isn't that old," you tell him, hugging him from behind as a surprise. he chuckles and holds onto your arms clasped around his middle for a bit before letting you go sit across him.

"think about it, we've been friends for longer than we haven't!"

"including those four or five years we barely spoke?" you raised an eyebrow at him, taking a sip from your glass.

"shh, what years? we've always been as thick as thieves," anton grins, pinching your cheek.

after you moved back, it didn't take that long to rekindle your previous relationship. somehow, you two picked up right where you left off, like there was never a period in your friendship filled with almost radio silence.

"you two," eunseok sighed with an exasperated but fond tone. "if i didn't know you guys were 'just friends', i would've thought you were dating."

"or married!" sohee shouts from somewhere.

you roll your eyes at your friends and coworkers, the guests. dating allegation were nothing new in your relationship, having suffered from them for over ten years now.

"we have been friends for a while now, huh? fourteen years is pretty crazy."

"i honestly can't remember a time when i didn't know you," anton agrees.

"being 'friends' for longer than you haven't is quite the achievement," wonbin remarks with a knowing look. "personally, i don't have toothbrushes and extra clothes at my house for my friends though."

all this talk of friends and friendship was making your head hurt.

"anton, remember the pact we made at sixteen?"

anton looked at you sharply, knowing exactly what you were referring to, but asking anyway. "no. remind me again?"

with a scoff and a smile, you said, without regard to the fact that everyone was half-listening, "when we promised we'd marry each other by thirty if we were both still single?"

clinks of glass and utensils falling around the two of you, your friends were suddenly more invested in the conversation, not even trying to hide their curiosity.

"you really want to talk about this right now? in front of everyone?" anton murmured, voice low enough just for you to hear.

you stared at him, and then continued.

"well, looks like there's three years left to our promise. three years left to run away from me." that pulled out some laughs.

anton just stared at you with a mix of surprise and uncertainty.

"well, i haven't run away for these last eleven years since, have i?"

whoops and cheers filled the bar; you yourself were surprised with anton's boldness and honesty. you always did wonder why he barely ever dated, only ever having a few flings here and there.

suddenly, you felt a little flustered by his bold declaration, and the implication that he'll wait out the remaining years.

"i..."

suddenly, anton's face morphed into a smirk as he took another sip from his own glass, eyes still on you.

"what's another three years?"

30

"ah, my mom keeps asking when i'm going to settle down," you whine to anton, sitting in his living room as you two share a late midnight snack.

something about it all feels nostalgic, whining and complaining about your mom to him, sitting in his comfy room (or this time, his apartment), with a vinyl record playing in the background. this is home, you decided.

what you don't tell him is that your mom had been more specific with her words.

(when are you and anton going to get married and settle down?? i want grandkids, you know!)

anton laughs lightly, feeding you another sushi. the whole atmosphere was quite domestic, and you wished you could spend the rest of your life like this; with him.

"some things never change, do they?" he remarks with a fond smile. and your heart melts a little.

(hopefully soon, mama.)

"isn't sushi a little heavy for a midnight snack?"

"well, it's not just any midnight, isn't it?" anton asks.

and he's right. it's actually a special one - the night before your birthday.

looking at the clock, you see that it's almost twelve, and you find yourself thinking back on the past twenty-nine years. anton's in most of the memories, something you weren't particularly bothered about. when you two spent that day at the arcade together, something about it all just felt right.

you've always loved change, always wanted more experiences. but one thing you wanted to stay the same forever, was anton being by your side. when you'd gone to australia, it was a slow realisation that some part of you was missing. only when you reunited with anton did you realise why that was.

the soft beeping noise of a clock brought you back from your thoughts, signalling that it was finally twelve o'clock. that you were finally thirty. hearing shuffling behind you, you turn to look at anton for the annual hug and cheer that made your whole birthday.

but instead, you watched in shock as anton sunk onto one knee, and pulled out a box.

"don't look so surprised, now," he chuckles awkwardly. "this was a long time coming."

"i know... i just. i didn't expect you'd do it as soon as i turned thirty," you laughed. "looks like someone couldn't wait any longer."

"can you blame a man who waited fourteen years?"

you shook your head before anton called our your name, even though he already had your full attention.

"my only love, i don't have to hide my feelings anymore. i love you."

with a deep breath, filled with years and years of longing, he finally asked.

"will you marry me?"

TAGLIST ✦ @yoursyuno @totheseok

[raapija]

Käärijä's Veikkaus interview, 5.5.2023

Ten Questions For Käärijä

In this interview Vantaa's most famous bowl-cut Jere Pöyhönen tells, how he thinks about his Käärijä-named alter ego and why he would sometime want to "whack" Käärijä. Furthermore, he reveals his embarrassing vice - and reminds you that in every one of us there lives a tiny Jesus.

Q1: Why do you have such a funny haircut?

"When I was in junior high, I got a bowl-cut during a break. It was on a whim. There were us two boys, who did it, and we rocked with the bowl-cuts. I've always been whimsical, a guy, who is easy to provoke. I like to try things, and I've never really been embarrassed by anything. We had a few friend groups in Vantaa, with who I hung out with, and I was always the clown in the group. I like to make others laugh and I also like to laugh at myself. The others laughed with me, not at me - or that's atleast what I like to believe!"

Q2: So, Vantaa - you're a born and bred Vantaa-citizen. What does Vantaa mean to you?

"Quite a lot actually. I think that Vantaa is an under-dog kinda place. It reflected, for example, in hockey, which I used to play a lot. When we played against Espoo, it had emotion! The deal is, in fact, that Vantaa-people hate people from Espoo! [laughter] People from Vantaa are somehow more real than Espoo-citizens or people from Helsinki, more honest. If a Vantaa-person doesn't have money, then for fuck's sake they don't have money, they won't try to hide it, like Espoo-people do. Indeed, Vantaa is the place to be. Or at least the Tikkurila hoods, Myyrmäki on the other hand... We totally aren't any kind of a big and happy family in Vantaa. [laughter] East- and West-Vantaa are completely different things, kinda like the Bronx and Brooklyn. Actually I'm from Ruskeasanta, and for example Ruskeasanta's or 'Rusa' 's Shell (a gas station) has been a significant place in my life. We used to go there with friends on our mopeds and drink coffee and tea, fool around, bully vocational school students."

Q3: Wait a minute, you've gone to vocational school, too, but you aren't a student who drives around Tikkurila, around the local blocks?

"I haven't really driven there, maybe a couple times. But I haven't been serious about it in that way. I've never been a car-person, more of a moped-person, and that moped I liked more to tune and decorate, than to drive. I painted, tuned and tinkered with it. I, for example, melted Legos on the covering so I could get more plastic on them - no-one could ever guess, what color moped I'd come to school with."

"In my opinion, vocational school was more of a lifestyle than one going to vocational school. Students drove from gas station to gas station and went to Jumbo (a mall) with driving gloves on. I would rather stay at home to sleep and play Habbo Hotel. Sometimes I'd go to meets (meeting organized by youth to come show off their mopeds), and those were fun, but to those, too, we went with a few friends to laugh at the other dudes. [laughter] If I would now go to Rusa's Shell, I hope people would react to me positively. I'm still nevertheless on their side.

Q4: What kind of memories do you have from Vantaa's Tulisuudelma (a pub, restaurant and music venue)?

"There I didn't go a lot. I was more often at Porkku (Pormestari, a nightclub that has since closed). The few times I was at Tulisuudelma, I sang karaoke. Vesku's 'Hyvää Puuta', that was my favorite. But Porkku was, at least in my mind, Tikkurila's most popular bar. It was a bit like Pinkku (a restaurant called Pingviini), but the cooler guys went to Porkku. [laughter] Yeah, vocational school students went to Pinkku. It might be, that 'Cha Cha Cha' is about a night in Porkku. There I have my first bar-memories. It became my own little home, where all the friends in town came to."

"'Cha Cha Cha' represents dancing, and dancing represents freedom for me. That, that you have to be able to not be afraid to dance without thinking what the others think, even without drugs. You can see it as a drinking song also, I don't care about interpretations, but to me, it represents a lot more also. I want to encourage people to break free, because it's not about how well you can dance, it's about how you carry yourself. I'm not the most skilled singer, rapper or artist. But I believe in this thing, this madness, and I put 150 points on it. It creates the aesthetic, that he is just crazy and a star, even though really I'm just a regular dude from Vantaa."

Q5: The song lasts 2 minutes and 55 seconds. Because of those shy of a three minutes you'll soon go on a long trip abroad to perform. What does that feel like?

"As a thought it's damn crazy. How much work - hours, days, weeks, months - and then it's over. Those are probably my life's most important 2 minutes and 55 seconds. I think, that Käärijä is going on a little trip, does what he does best and it goes just the way it is meant to go. Everything doesn't even need to be so fucking thought out and perfect. It needs a bit of improv, my own style. Because I don't like to be bound."

Q6: You're a pop-star and many people have put a lot of money into your career. Isn't it inevitable, that in some way, you are bound?

"Yeah, that's exactly true. I've had had to work on that. I avoid it, when people tell me things and try to get me to do stuff, that I don't stand behind. It's been hard learning to say no, but it has been a necessary skill. Those people do see Käärijä as a product. It feels like a crazy thought - I'm like a walking billboard. But I'm a human and I have to do my own stuff, my own values, and not be with a note on my forehead saying 'buy this' or 'I'm selling this'."

"I've gone along with a couple things, but those have been the kind that benefit me. I want to rip out everything from those guys - the record label, ad-collabs and everything, and secure it that I'm not being fucked over. This is a rough business. People want a piece of Käärijä, which they can benefit from, so I have to be really alert. And not everything can be measured in wealth. For example, I've done stuff for charity."

Q7: Many of the stories about you are headlined "Jere from Vantaa", and that's the way you seem like: a nice basic dude. How does that nice basic dude handle all that hassle?

"At the beginning, not so well. I'm humble, and I still have a lot to learn about a certain type of roughness. You have to know your value and value yourself. Who am I, where do I belong, what do I want from life - I think about these and develop all the time. But it's not easy when the big bosses come to say how things are. Then you just have to stay tough and argue against them."

"The piss hasn't got up to my head, because I'm not 20 anymore. If all this had happened at that age, I would most definitely be an asshole. I can differentiate Jere from Käärijä. If on the streets someone films me, or someone sends me suggestive messages on instagram, I know that those are meant for Käärijä, not Jere. They don't really even know Jere, in a way."

"Jere sometimes wonders on red carpets abroad 'why am I here?'. It sometimes feels like a ridiculous circus show - even though I obviously enjoy it and value it. Byt my morals lie elsewhere. I don't appreciate people if they have some great job and money, that doesn't interest me at all. People shouldn't be seen as products, but people should be seen as people and appreciated the way they are. That's why it feels so weird when people go nuts sometimes about this Käärijä-thing, start to cry when they see me. In Madrid one guy fainted because they saw me! It was at the same time like wow, we had created something that had caused this kind of a reaction. But at the same time I think 'what the fuck just happened to you?'."

Q8: What sort of a relationship does Jere have with Käärijä?

"A really good one, mainly. We have a lot in common. In a way I'm a Käärijä-fan because I have to like the thing I'm doing, and in my mind we're making the best shit in Finland ever. But sometimes, when there's so much of this Käärijä-stuff, I'd like to whack that Käärijä: every time I come home and look in the mirror, there that bowl-cut is. Then I miss it, when I could go as Jere to the shop and be Jere to the people and not everyone would circle around Käärijä: how are you, how are you managing, how's the gigs, how's the music - fuck it. Let's talk about the weather!"

"Käärijä is also an armor. If someone asks to put on the bolero and go lay around for those photos, Käärijä will do it. Jere might not. With Käärijä I'm able and not afraid to do things. But the way that everyone right now wants to benefit from Käärijä, is of course sometimes heavy - and that's Käärijä's fault! He fucking did it! [laughter]"

Q9: If you could choose anyone to go in a sauna with, living or dead, who would you choose?

"That's a tough one. I'm a fan of Rammstein like crazy and I can relate to (the singer) Till Lindeman. But they say he's a really stiff guy. We probably wouldn't have a lot of conversation in the sauna..."

"If Jesus is really a real person in history, I'd maybe choose Jesus. I'd like to discuss with him: what all did he do, what kind of a guy he was. I'm really interested in that. Was he a regular fellow like all the rest of us?"

"I believe, that in all of us, there lives a tiny Jesus. I mean that I don't believe we're just a brain and a lump of meat. We're so much more. I don't necessarily mean supernatural things, but that there's something else, something that we can't reach with our level of consciousness. I don't believe in coincidences. There's always a reason why things go this or that way."

Q10: Do you have some secret or habit that you're embarrassed about so much that you wouldn't want to tell of it to anyone?

"I don't really have skeletons in my closet like that... Well, this is a bit dumb, but the thing that I'm sometimes afraid to do, is: I like to put ketchup on everything. I put ketchup in meat soup, too. Once I was in a fancy steak restaurant, a great steak in front of me, and I thought, damn I'd kill for some ketchup now. But there were people around, certain type of steak enthusiasts, that I couldn't do it, because people would've judged it really hard. Yeah, maybe it's about being from Vantaa! [laughter]"

Käärijä's make-up and hair: Tiia Loikkanen

Photography digitech: Pauli Boström

Photography: Ville Malja

Original writer: Jose Riikonen

[dearestxiao]

Dear Santa,

I would like some more fucked up/possessive/shockingly sweet Venti HC 🙏

Thank you

warnings: possessive venti, gaslighting and manipulation, abuse of power(?), threats(?), scars from battle, let me know if I'm missing anything!!

ooh my god this took me so long to get out we're almost a week into the new years 😭😭😭. but when I saw this ask I actually screamed thank u sm nonnie. being able to ramble nonsense abt ven is always so fun. these aren't a lot whatsoever but these are some main things I think about with venti. all are random but somewhat related?

he often does performances, whether that be at a tavern/bar or an open mic that are either 'dedicated' to you or a 'special somebody'. even if he doesn't directly say your name, he makes it so obvious that it's about you, his eyes glued onto you the entirety of his show. it's supposed to be a sweet gesture, and it would be, if it wasn't so clearly a way for him to claim you as his, which is only worsened by the fact that you're not. no one would ever believe otherwise though.

in the same vain, if you start romantically seeing someone, or even slightly have interest in anyone, he instantly becomes intensely clingy. you two have barely hung out recently, you two should hang out more! he's been dying to see this live show with you, and there's a new cafe that just opened up, and there's this beautiful meadow nearby that's perfect for a picnic, he pulls out all the works to try to convince you to spend more time with him than anybody else. and trust, if you do spend time with someone else, you'll never hear the end of it. he'll constantly sulk or make you feel insanely guilty, saying anything and everything to make you feel awful.

I think the main thing that would differentiate canon!venti and modern au!venti are their literal powers. given that modern!venti doesn't have a borderline fear-tactic to hold over your head, he instead resorts to manipulating you, especially in ways similar to the headcanon above.

venti is insanely emotionally intelligent. he knows every little thing about you, how your mind ticks and what really pulls at your heart strings. he can't help but use this to his favor. anytime an 'issue' arises between you too, he's quick to put on an award-winning act. of course, if it was what'd he call a genuine problem or a mistake on his behalf, he's quick to apologize and do everything in his power to make amends. but if you're upset about something akin to his clinginess and possessiveness... oh baby, you're getting guilt-tripped.

it doesn't really matter if you're a person who's hard to manipulate or not. venti can break a will. at some point you just wear down and give up.

canon!venti really doesn't like to hold his powers against you (he really loves the thought of you choosing to be with him, even if that choice is... coerced), but if push comes to shove, he does. he would never would never actually use them, but stories about how he acted and what he did back during those days of war are certainly enough to keep you docile. to be fair, he doesn't necessarily need to use them at all. you're far less likely to go against him if you know just what he's capable of. deep down he knows he'd never do anything, but he's so unpredictable that the fear that he could is enough.

I think venti would also definitely use the fact that he's the god of freedom against you, especially as a sort of mind trick. he states that he's the god of freedom, he would never take away your freewill, that goes against everything he stands for! so, the fact that you're with him is clearly your own choice, something of your own doing, and if you truly wanted to, you could've left him at any time you wanted to!

somewhat similarly, I think venti would have a 'thing' for getting you to say certain things. he'll do things like pin you down and say (with a big, toothy smile plastered on his face) that he won't let you out until you admit that you love him, admit that you're his and all his, admit that you would never, ever leave him. he tells you to do it in a lighthearted manner through giggles and grins, but you know that he's serious about never letting you out from underneath his grasp.

also, another few headcanons that doesn't really fit into anything else:

I think another difference between modern au!venti and canon!venti is that modern au!venti is a lot more of a creep. as the god of freedom, canon!venti would, of course, stick to atleast some of his morals and godly obligations. being a yandere doesn't entirely diminish his values, even if he does stretch the limitations of them often. but modern venti is not tied to those morals, so he has no reason to really obide by them. he therefore sees no issue with doing things like going through your room or your items, looking through any notes or journals or diaries you have, laying on your bed or pocketing an item of yours or two.

despite gods likely having insane regenerative powers, I can see venti choosing to keep any and all scars that would've developed throughout his life of serving out duties as a god. they're all so especially jarring because of just how gentle and harmless venti looks in comparison. it serves both as a reminder of his past and all he's been through (something that you would definitely atleast sympathize with) and all he's done, a testament as to how looks can be deceiving and that you should certainly never underestimate him.

[dragontamerno3]

DS9 S2 E22 - The Wire

HOW DOES ANYONE THINK THESE TWO ARE IN A STRAIGHT??!!!???!!!

Ahem.

Seriously. How?

The episode starts off with the two going to their weekly lunch having the gayest banter about books and food and there is genuine concern for Garak when he starts showing signs of illness. Yes, Bashir is the station Doctor but it's also very much a "my friend is in pain, whats wrong" look when it happens.

This is cemented when Jadzia brings her plant to him to diagnose. Their conversation was primarily about the plant he was examining but her "its not like you're friends" comment and them him agreeing angrily while he stabbed said plant? There was no mistaking that he does (at least on some level) think of them as friends. Honestly, that whole conversation kinda felt like a ton of "I'm not jealous" conversations where I've seen two friends discussing a third party who was hanging out with a new person. Or more specifically a crush starts to spend more time with someone new. I have had similar moments myself as a baby queer.

I applaud Quark for his ease of lying. He was so smooth with a line or two to give to Bashir to get him to walk away. Wonderfully done.

The other smooth part with Quark was when Bashir is trying to usher Garak out of the bar and convince him to go to the infirmary and how they just swapped the bottle without a word.

On that same note, when Quark called Bashir to the bar to get Garak and Garak was like "Yes, quiet is better, lets go to my quarters", I wondered how often he actually brought people back to his room. He is so secretive that it seemed to me that he'd rarely (or never) let anyone come by so it seems significant that he offered that.

Of course Odo has tapped Quarks bar to monitor his transmissions, so much so that he even knows when Quark makes his more "sensitive" calls.

From the moment they said Garak was having head pain I figured there was some kind of implant in his head that was either malfunctioning, it was finally deteriorating or something similar. That paired with the fact that Garak was most definitely a spy, whether he still is or isn't is questionable sure, but at one point he was somehow tied to the intelligence network. So it wasn't a surprise to find out that was what causing him pain. It was fun to watch Quark give the Cardassian dude a code for a highly classified piece of tech though that may or may not cause both of them some hiccups later. Karma.

What I WAS surprised by was that is was more of a drug like situation. The whole break down in his room about how he had spent years being tortured and so 2 years ago he decided to say fuck it and to just live in a drugged state permanently was well done. I felt for both men in that moment. I can't even imagine what Garak was going through but I can tell he was suffering even when he had been drugged. And then Bashir hearing that the man he had come to think of as a friend (even if it was reluctantly) claim he wanted nothing to do with the dear Doctor. But then the trust in Garaks face as he relented? There was no heterosexual reason for this.

I need more of Bashir being a guard dog for all those under his care cause clearly that's a pattern I enjoy. It was a great character moment when he protected Jadzia against the trill transfer earlier in the season and it was a great moment here where he told Odo to fuck off.

The whole withdrawals scene was a rough one to get through in that way that I could see where it was going and I could tell both sides of that were very uncomfortable but the "the problem is I DID enjoy it" gave me life.

Every single story Garak told in this episode was both contradictory and very much believable, to me. I believe he blew up a Cardassian ship that held civilians and his "friend" on broad because it sounds like to me that this was the moment that part of him died, the part where he was dedicated to the cause. I also believe he let the Bajorian "prisoners" go and his "friend" was angry/appalled because this might have been one of the first steps to him questioning his involvement in things and how he hated himself for having these thoughts. I also believe he tried to hack the Cardassian systems to self sabotage himself subconsciously while thinking he was fixing things only to discover he purposely screwed himself over.

"I need to know SOMEONE forgives me." 😭💔

The thing that I loved most about this episode though was how Bashir was willing to risk his own safety to go to Cardassia on his own for Garak, who is in exile, to confront a highly respected man of the deepest, darkest intelligence network. That took guts and he did it without even blinking. Hell, he did it without even flinching when it was clear Tain was giving him vague threats.

I am disappointed about how quickly this one wrapped up, it seemed like we were worried about Garak dying and he was just suddenly okay again and having lunch, but that's a whatever moment. We don't honestly know how much time had passed and we knew he was going to get the info he needed to remove the device. It just seemed... fast?

Overall very much one of my favorites so far.

9/10 - will watch a million times

[schrijverr]

You Don’t Know Me, But I Know You 4

Chapter 4 out of 6

5 times Tim showed he stalked Robin + 1 time Jason did

Inspired by this post of thecrazyleader.

On AO3.

Ships none

Warnings: none

~~~~

4. A Familiar Snack Bar

Tim and Jason are out on patrol together. It’s not something that happens often due to their history, however, the two have been getting better recently. So here they are, giving teamwork another try together.

Thus far, it’s been pretty peaceful. Jason has only grumbled a little bit about not being allowed out by himself even though he can handle it and having to go out of his territory. Meanwhile, Tim has kept lecturing him about an assassin targeting vigilantes on the loose and personal safety (his most hypocritical lecture) to a minimum.

Right now they’re walking along a roof in the China Basin when Jason suddenly pauses. He points to a hole in the wall restaurant and says: “Let’s go get some dumplings there. I’m fucking hungry.”

“Alright,” Tim answers easily, dropping from the roof.

He’s about to walk out of the alley and towards the restaurant when he notices Jason isn’t following right behind him. Confused, he looks up to where Jason is sitting on the roof and asks: “What are you doing?”

“Staying up here,” Jason says in a duh-voice.

“I can see that,” Tim rolls his eyes. “I meant: why are you staying up there?”

“Because I’m Red Hood,” Jason replies snootily, before his demeanor changes ever so slightly to a more turned in, insecure manner. “And I think they have a Robin’s order for free thing going on, so you’ll probably have more luck scoring on that without the known crime lord with you.”

Tim catches on to the change, but doesn’t really know how to handle it. So, he resorts to being a little shit, snorting: “Oh please, no one buys your whole bad boy shtick.”

“Oi, it’s not a shtick! I am an actual crime boss,” Jason exclaims indignantly.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Tim waves him away. “My point is that they’ll know you’re not there to shoot up the place. We can just order the dumplings and eat them on a roof near here. It’ll be fun. And we won’t be breaking B’s buddy system rules.”

“Ugh, I hate the buddy system rules,” Jason groans, but Tim can see he’s getting convinced.

“Assassin on the loose,” Tim sing-songs, reminding him again of why they’re in effect.

“The old man is gonna have the fucker in custody by the end of the night anyway,” Jason grouches, but he’s coming down from the roof.

He seems nervous to enter the shop, but Tim doesn’t comment. He also doesn’t comment when the lady behind the counter looks up in surprise when Jason orders for them. And he doesn’t comment when he notices she packed two rice cakes in their bag without them ordering them. In fact, Tim doesn’t say anything until they’re sitting side by side on the roof.

“You know that I know you saved that shop from a robbery in your Robin days and came there practically every patrol, right?” he asks softly.

“The fuck, Replacement,” Jason grunts, the nickname more a diversion than an actual insult at this point.

“I actually wasn’t stalking you that night,” Tim comments idly. “Well, I was, but I wasn’t. I was taking a break to get a snack the night of the robbery. It’s kind of funny, I was scared when it happened, but I also thought it was so cool, you know, to see you in action.”

He’s quiet for a beat, then adds: “At the time I was so sad I didn’t get to take any pictures in the moment. I was so sure I’d never be that close to you in action again.” He snorts: “Guess little me was wrong about that.”

Jason has been silently listening and there is a small silence between Tim’s story and Jason’s reaction.

In that silence, Jason looks at the sky for a second and swallows. Then he slings an arm around Tim and gives him a noogie, as he says: “You’re suck a fucking creep, stalker. Eat your dumplings or I’ll steal your rice cake.”

Tim can spot a diversion when he sees one, but lets Jason get away with it. If he squints, he can see how Jason’s shoulders have relaxed a bit. Good enough for him.

[thehollowwriter]

Summary: Ace does that thing where he correctly yells everything someone did wrong at them, except this time that someone is Finn and Ace is, in fact, incorrect (there may be some oocness I hope not)

(Pls reblog and leave a comment ❤

Hold Your Tongue

Ace Trappola was Finn Clearcove's favourite underclassman.

Not because he liked him, no that achievement belonged to Chrysos Pendentif, but because he was so ridiculously amusing.

Stubborn, brash and egotistical, he was prime entertainment no matter what he did.

It was fun to watch him behave with such confidence despite being an anenome, grinning or smirking as he waited tables or worked the bar like he'd been doing it all his life.

But behind that incredibly fragile facade cowered a frightened little human teetering on the edge of a complete breakdown.

There were moments where the mask cracked, where a customer would irritate him and his face would twist into a scowl. Moments where he froze up and trembled when he felt Finn's eyes on him. Moments when the twins leered over him and he looked to be seconds away from screaming.

Tonight was one of those times where Ace's facade was threatening to fracture.

It was a slow sleepy night. Customers filtered in and out, filling the air with a soft murmur of tired chatter and only occupying a few tables. It was always like this near the end of the term.

Ace was clearly annoyed at having to be here when it was so empty, probably wishing he was back at his dorm right now.

His face twitched, his large fake customer service smile fraying at the edges as he spoke to his table through tightly clenched teeth.

He was trying so hard to be respectful, poor thing. Finn almost hoped he would snap so he could drink in the chaos that was bound to follow. It would lift him from his bad mood.

Alas, Ace was well behaved for once, and Finn knew it was for a reason. The same reason as always.

When Ace's breaktime came around, Finn sighed, made himself a drink, crossed one leg over the other and waited.

Finn watched as Ace predictably made a beeline towards him with an intense look of determination, leaving Deuce and Grim behind to roll their eyes and watch as he plastered a smile to his face.

God, Finn was running low on patience today. He didn't have the energy to deal with Ace now.

Whenever Ace was on his best behaviour, it inevitably led to him drifting to Finn in some way or another and attempting use him as some sort of... mole? Traitor? Ally?

The boy seemed to be under the impression that Finn was harbouring some kind of hidden resentment towards Azul and the twins that was just waiting to be revealed.

He often implied that Finn was being taken advantage of, mentioning all those times he's been in Azul's office for example.

Every time, Finn had to fight the urge to say "Actually, I'm not working, I'm spending my time kissing Azul breathless" just to see the look of horror on Ace's face.

Ace also tried going out of his way to impress Finn and garner his favour by doing whatever he asked, much to the dismay of his friends.

Why Ace did this in spite of the scare the scare he had during their first encounter, Finn had no idea.

"Hello Finn-senpai!" He greeted cheerily. "How are you this evening?"

"Tired." Finn responded flatly.

"Aw that sucks." Said Ace, voice dripping with fake sympathy. "Y'know I always say you work too hard. Do you ever get a break, really? You're never not working."

Finn took a long sip of his drink and and bit back a laugh. "I appreciate your concern, but I do get my fair share of free time"

Ace's smiled tightened and his eyes twitched.

"Do you, though?" His voice was straining with frustration. "Every time I see you you're working, and every time I ask about you I'm told you're at your club or doing a practical or studying or whatever. Look, I know you've gotten used to being treated like garbage but-"

"Treated like garbage?" Finn questioned, surprised. That was a new way of putting it. "I don't think-"

"Oh for the Queen's sake-" Ace slammed his hands down on the table with a "thwack", causing Finn to jump back in surprise.

"Yes you're treated like garbage!" He shouted. "No free time, no chance to rest! You're just constantly working your ass off! You're always called to the VIP room, in fact you're called there more than any other staff member! And you stay in there for hours!"

"That greedy prick is stealing precious time from you! The twins are almost worse! They're always grabbing at you and pulling you around like a ragdoll! How do you not notice how physical they are with you? It's gross!"

Finn blinked at Ace and bit his lip to hold back a snort. This was that prime entertainment he was waiting for. Ace had some very funny thought patterns.

Yet, even as Finn was visibly half smiling, sipping his drink, and customers and staff alike were turning to stare, Ace continued.

"Your boss is a scummy asshole! He's just using you! You think you matter more to him just because you're not an anenome? You don't!"

Finn let go of the straw. A frown settled onto his face and his eyes narrowed. "Mister Trappola-"

"Damn it, can't you see? You're just letting him use you like he's using the rest of us! He's not kind or benevolent, Finn-senpai, he's a monster! A greedy, selfish monster!"

Any mirth Finn felt toward this little explosion made itself scarce and white hot anger flooded his veins like fiery lava.

"Mister Trappola-" He went to repeat, but Ace cut him off.

"It's the truth! You need to grow a spine, because the twins don't treat you any better! There's no equal ground, they're sickos who treat you like a chewtoy! They-"

Finn lunged forward and grabbed Ace by the throat, pulling him down hard so they were eye to eye, faces inches apart.

"Mister Trappola, I will warn you only once," Finn spoke even softer than usual, his voice quivering slightly. "If you don't shut your mouth I swear to the Sea Witch I will make you wish Azul punished you instead."

All the passion fuelling Ace's liveliness vanished in an instant, draining from his face until he was white as a sheet.

"I- I-"

"You should thank the stars right now we are on land an not below the surface, otherwise I would be tearing your tongue from your mouth." Finn dug his fingers into Ace's Adam's apple, wishing beyond anything he had his claws and not these useless short nails.

"I will not tolerate you insulting my-" The word 'boyfriends' lingered on the tip of his tongue. "-business partners and spewing nonsense about things you don't understand. Do you truly take me for a fool who does whatever Azul tells me to without demanding payment?"

Ace stammered and shook his head wildly, muttering apologies and mumbling some excuse or other.

Seven why couldn't he just bite his face? Why did land have so many rules against violence?

"Oi, the hell's going on here?"

If Ace went any paler, surely he would faint. In fact, he looked to be on the verge of doing so when he turned his head to see Floyd and Jade Leech standing side by side, staring at him.

"Is Crabby botherin' ya, Finn?"

Every single time Ace prodded at Finn for a favour, Floyd came over and asked this question. Every single time, Finn told him no and shooed him away. This time however, the shark slowly nodded

"Y-Yes. Yes he is."

"My my, how rude of you, Ace-san." Jade purred snatching the anenome on Ace's head and yanking it.

"Harassing our dear Finn and insulting us and Azul at the same time? I'll see to it that your dorm leader is informed and you are given a suitable punishment. Do you have anything in mind, Finn?"

Finn shook his head. What he had in mind would end poorly for them all.

"Alright, then. Azul shall decide." Jade pulled at the anenome again and Ace shrieked in pain, clawing at Jade's hand in a desperate attempt to get away as he was dragged to the VIP room.

Finn watched them go, his face bright red. Blood rushed I his ears, he panted heavily, his hands wouldn't stop shaking, his stomach churned.

People insulted his partners all the time. This sort of thought process wasn't anything new. Same old same old.

So why was he so angry?

Why did he feel so sick?

Finn's legs decided they didn't want to hold him up anymore and he collapsed against Floyd's side.

"Woah- shit, what's wrong?" Floyd grabbed him by the arms to steady him, his brow furrowed in concern. He watched as Finn opened and closed his mouth wordlessly, gripping Floyd's suit jacket tightly.

Floyd shifted his gaze to the door of the VIP room and a low growl rose from the back of his throat

"I'm gonna fucking kill him."

......................................

A/N: This was a short one, but I hope you all enjoyed Finn losing his temper a bit ehehe (and hopefully this wasn't too ooc).

Tagging: @distant-velleity @whspermy-name @the-banana-0verlord @officialdaydreamer00 @kitwasheree @cynthinesia @elysia-nsimp @twisted-wonderland-but-gayer @jovieinramshackle @casp1an-sea

NOTE: Chrysos belongs to @distant-velleity

[pastriibunz]

me and @local-soda-can are gonna start outlining Nerdy Prudes Must Die Kai soon and here are a few ideas I had for that

can you guys tell i love inserting Kai’s name into the titles???

Kai comes in before/after/during literal monster holding a map of the school (the police or something forcibly enrolled her and now she has to go to school) and she’s just completely confused and lost

Max does the whole “this is my hallway!!” thing and Kai’s like “fun fact I literally do not care” and he pisses her off so much she kicks him in the balls- she meets the rest of the prudes while on the run from various teachers who’re trying to expel her or something

Kai was in the Waylon Place night of the prank to try and relax and get away from the chaos of Hatchetfield. There isn’t a sign of anyone breaking in bc Kai knows how to pick locks. Kai hangs out there a lot.

She walks in on them looking at Max’s (almost) dead body and is like “woah you guys killed that guy!!! ö haha I’m gonna go call the cops on yall I’m OUT!!!”

…Grace then blackmails her into helping bury/hide the body because she threatens to pin everything on Kai (bc Kai breaks in and shit)

Theres this scene with max and kai im making into a comic that has something to do with snickers and it needs to be real because it’s silly and also it makes way for this idea:

Kai hangs out with Max’s ghost a lot and she vents to him about how much she hates the prudes, how she wants to get back to Unington, and other shit

They like sending videos to the prudes group chat (that Kai was forcibly added into) that make it seem like Max is about to kill Kai and she always texts the dumbest shit after like “phew!!! made it out okay!!! gee, let’s hope that doesn’t happen again!”

They laugh their asses off about it

Kai has no friends during the run of NPMD

she hates the prudes for getting her involved in a manslaughter/murder,

she has no clue if max is her friend or if he’s only keeping her around for the snickers bars,

And everyone else is too in love with afraid of her to even get near her

It kinda hurts but she’s learning to deal with it

KAI RIZZ KAI RIZZ KAI RIZZ

that shit is STRONG guys

she got that Wattpad MC rizz

she does not want it-

she is either oblivious to it or painfully aware

no in between

She’s been bunking with Paul

They met on the street and they talked for a bit and Kai was like “yeah my hotels about to kick me out lol” and he was like “oh you can stay with me”

He doesn’t know why he said that, maybe it was just meant to be.

Anyways Kai agreed and Paul is the biggest dad ever

He asks her how school was and he cooks dinner for them and they snuggle on the couch and have movie nights

They have to share a bedroom but he got her dividers and turned the bottom of the closet into a hangout nook for Kai so it’s like she has her own little room

everyone keeps dragging Kai everywhere by the wrist- she does NOT wanna be there-

Kai keeps talking to the audience in front of everyone and she interacts with the audience a lot

For example, she crumples up and tosses her map to someone in the audience and finger guns and winks at them afterwards

She gets like a gazillion love notes a day-

she gets so angry she just eats them-

nobody knows why and they’re just like:

“Aw she’s silly :]”

“I LITERALLY HATE ALL OF YOU”

“I’m soooo in love with her :3”

“IM GOING TO KILL ALL OF YOU”

in the words of my pal:

“she’s so perfect :3333

(she is going to go feral-)”

All of Kai’s classes have at least one prude in them

Kai kinda wishes she had friends and tries to talk to people, but she’s so autistic, socially awkward, and anxious she either ends up shutting down, staying quiet, or insulting them

Kai goes to the sports games purely for the food and hides in the bathroom the entire time (the crowds and lights overstimulate her)

Kai hangs out at beanie’s a lot

She’s still Emma’s favorite customer.

She accidentally calls her Mom a lot.

Emma loves it every time.

It often goes uncorrected.

If Kai is alive for homecoming, she’s going there WAY overdressed-

she’s been homeschooled the majority of her life and has never been to a school dance-

she’s only been to like high class galas/parties so she thinks it’s like that

spoiler alert it is NOT

Kai is aware she’s in a musical

she really doesn’t wanna be in one but she knows

sometimes you can see her groovin uncomfortably to the music in the background

That’s all! Idk if I’m gonna script this one out as, like I’ve said before: TKWDLM has a special place in my heart and I’m not ready to move on

plus I’m still super hyperfixated on TKWDLM-

oki that’s all for now bye bye :3

[cycian]

Can’t stop thinking about when you said “Andreja… loves sprawling herself on the lap of her dearests”

The thought of her falling asleep on Sarah’s lap and Sarah just panicking (lovingly) hard but also feeling the same way as when a cat blesses you with feeling comfortable enough to sleep on you. This has plagued me and I needed to share.

Anon, the instant you dropped this in my inbox, it started living in my head rentfree so I had to drop everything and write it ASAP lest it plagued me too. Here's to ending the Haunting of Andrejarah for the both of us (impossible). Also, fun fact, the poem used in this fill is 'Parted Presence' by Dante Rossetti, and is the poem I used when proposing to my now wife.

Moments like these were rare and few in-between. The fire was roaring, her whiskey was smooth and her book was good. Barrett had all but dropped it on her lap, while Walter had snatched the quarterly reports, quoting that ‘she had better things to do than fill out those damn reports’. She had attempted to join Noel in her experiments, but the scientist had shooed her away, threatening to pull out Sarah’s newsletter to Constellation about the importance of a good life/work balance.

So, 11:00 whiskey and literature.

Apparently, she was not the only one getting chastised for working too much. Up above, in the bar, Vladimir’s booming voice chided Andreja. She did not hear Andreja’s response, but could very well imagine her rolling her eyes. Barrett must have acquired stock from the publisher, because no sooner had she turned the page, Andreja walked in front of the foyer, same book in hand.

“Forced leave?” Sarah jested as Andreja shook her head, a small smile on her painted lips. Sarah patted the spot next to her and scooched to the side of the armchair to give Andreja more room to sit.

“I know that it is coming from a place of…affection. But I do not enjoy getting told to ‘sit down’ and ‘relax’.” Andreja’s fingers drummed against the cover of the book. “I appreciate the concern, but I find exploration to be relaxing.”

Sarah nodded her agreement, letting her thumb rest between the pages. “So do I, but today, I will humor them. Plus, the book is pretty good.”

Andreja hummed and settled on the couch. Seeing Andreja attempt to relax was endearing. Though the couch was comfortable (Walter never skimmed when it came to the Lodge’s amenities), Andreja sat rigidly, her back straight as she opened the book with a focused frown.

Sarah returned to her whiskey and literature, occasionally sneaking a look at the House Va’ruun.

Andreja had become a full member almost a year and a half ago and Sarah was still learning so much about her. When travelling together, Andreja’s brows were always furrowed and only relaxed when a fight was breaking out. In the privacy of the Lodge, her shoulders were taut, but her lips were slowly starting to loosen. Sarah watched (only with appreciation for her colleague relaxing next to her, of course) as Andreja’s teeth nibbled on her lower lip, before immediately stopping, as if expecting punishment. Her index finger trailed underneath the sentences she was reading, and Sarah caught that finger often returning to previous lines, reading them over and over again. Andreja would occasionally huff, sometimes roll her eyes as her finger traveled over the page.

“Enjoying the book?” Sarah asked after Andreja had returned to the same line for the seventh time.

Andreja set the book on her lap, her eyes narrowing. One of Andreja’s traits that never failed to make Sarah swoon (professionally, as someone who was very detail oriented and did not like to leave things up to chance), was how she pondered her every word. Certainly, with English being the predominant trade and diplomatic language in both UC and FC space, Andreja, as a non-native speaker, needed more time to formulate her thoughts. But the precision with which she chose her words was not only due to her linguistic level. Andreja loved precision. She sharpened her blades every day after waking up at precisely 6:30 every morning. Her weapons were always neatly arranged in the basement’s display cases and in immaculate shape.

“I believe that I enjoy the book in the same manner that I enjoy our journey. I am unsure that I truly understand everything—but I enjoy attempting to make sense of it.” Andreja finally declared. “My understanding of English may not be sufficient to accurately get the full picture.”

“Poetry is a hard genre to read, especially when it’s in a foreign language,” Sarah could relate. Although English was her first language, poetry had long eluded her. She’d forgone the genre altogether for a decade, until she could finally learn to read between the lines. “May I give you a hand?”

Andreja nodded, taking Sarah’s hand into hers. Idioms were very confusing to Andreja. And Andreja was very confusing to Sarah. The Chair blinked, her hand limp in Andreja’s hand. She should’ve explained that she was offering help, not to hold hands but… Andreja had accepted, had she not?

“You are very red, Miss Morgan.” Andreja noted while Sarah felt her face burn even more.

“Ah, well, it’s the heat from the fireplace, perhaps I should… Take off my jacket?” Sarah used this as an opportunity to withdraw her hand from Andreja lest she goes into cardiac arrest. She folded her jacket and let it rest on the couch’s arm, counting down from ten in a desperate attempt to regain some control over herself.

Andreja patiently waited, extending her hand to Sarah once more, before wordlessly returning to her book.

Sarah attempted to do the same—to no avail. It was impossible to get to focus with Andreja’s hand warming hers, occasionally giving her a light squeeze, which had the effect of sending Sarah’s heart thundering against her ribcage. She was not a teenager anymore, holding hands with someone who considered her a friend and was under her supervision as Chair should most certainly not have that effect on her. But despite Sarah chastising herself over and over again in her mind, she could not stop her eyes from drifting to the woman holding her hand, instead of the book she was supposed to be reading.

Damn it. So much for relaxation—she was certain her heart would give out. She set her book down on the coffee table and eyed her whiskey. It was a nice, expensive whiskey reserved for special days. She downed the glass in one go and let herself melt into the couch, Andreja still holding her hand.

“Are you alright, Miss Morgan?”

“Never been better.” Said Sarah, feeling as if she was on death’s door.

“Do you still wish to give me a hand?” Andreja asked, her hand slowly withdrawing from Sarah’s. Sarah squeezed her hand, letting their fingers intwine.

“Absolutely.”

“Thank you. I do not understand this passage: ‘Your hands to-day are not here, Yet lay them, love, in my hands.’, how can one lay their hands in someone else’s, if they are not physically present?”

“Wait, so you knew that ‘giving a hand’ meant?”

Andreja perked up, proud of herself. “Oh, yes. Sam has taught me that one.”

Sarah refrained from pinching the bridge of her nose with her index and thumb. “So, why did you hold my hand?”

“Because I wanted to. That’s what people who love each other do, yes?” Andreja declared nonchalantly, as if she had not murdered Sarah Morgan with a single sentence. Sarah’s eyes widened, her pulse quickening way past what was considered healthy. She loves me? Probably as a friend, don’t read too much into it, don’t ruin this—ruin her trust. “So. What does it mean?”

“Huh?” Very eloquent, Sarah.

“We are here, holding hands.” Andreja squeezed her hand for emphasis. “It is possible because we are both physically present, yes? You can see me, you can touch me.” To demonstrate her point, she brought Sarah’s hand to her face.

Sarah cupped her cheek, letting her fingers roam over the high cheekbones, trying her utmost to gather what was left of her wit to answer Andreja’s question. She gulped, fighting with herself to form a coherent sentence.

“It’s figurative, the author knows that such thing is not possible—but the poem is about transcending the reality of space with love—that love can conquer everything, including the laws of physics.”

Andreja narrowed her eyes pensively, her hand still holding Sarah’s to her face, before slowly making it trail down, by her lips. “Do you think it’s possible? That love would conquer even the laws of physics, the laws of the Gr—the Great Beyond.” She corrected herself, her eyes darting around the room to confirm that no one was around.

“I am hardly an idealist but…” Sarah let her eyes flutter closed for an instant. She’d choose Andreja over any artifact, she’d choose her life over her own, if there was one thing that she would not let this universe forget, it was Andreja’s name. Even if the Great Serpent, Andreja’s divinity, would kill her for it. “Yes, I believe that there are forms of love that transcend everything, the laws of men and gods alike.”

A smile curled Andreja’s lips, as she brought them to Sarah’s wrist, planting a languid kiss that made Sarah forget how to breathe. Andreja let go of her hand. Sarah stifled a disappointed whine in the back of her throat as the House Va’ruun got up, before bracing her hands against Sarah’s shoulders.

“May I?” Andreja asked.

Sarah had no idea what Andreja wanted—but all she knew was that she did not need to understand to love it—to love her. Half the fun was in trying to figure it out.

“Yes, Andreja. Anything you want.”

Her shoulders were pushed back against the couch, as Andreja curled herself in Sarah’s lap. It took a few minutes of adjustment to be comfortable, as Andreja was much taller than Sarah. But still, she managed to make herself perfectly comfortable, balanced on the older woman’s lap, one arm tightly wrapped around Sarah’s shoulders.

“Be careful, Miss Morgan, I could ask for something impossible.” Andreja spoke against her neck, sending an army of shivers down Sarah’s back.

And I’ll give it to you.

“Anything you want, Andreja.” Sarah repeated, not managing to tear her eyes away from the deep brown eyes that looked so painfully vulnerable, despite the levity of her tone.

“Read the book to me. Explain it to me. Please?”

Sarah Morgan could never say no to Andreja. Especially with those big brown eyes, so light in the warm glow of the fire.

“Poetry is very subjective, there is no universal truth to it.” Sarah explained, still picking up the book that Andreja set down in her hand.

“Very few truths are universal. I am only interested in yours.” Andreja whispered, before letting herself melt in Sarah’s embrace.

Sarah cleared her throat and the tears that were threatening to escape her eyes. “Two blent hearts never astray, two souls no power may sever…”

To Barrett’s credit, he at least knew better than to open his mouth when he found them, hours later. Andreja still sprawled across Sarah, the book still opened on Andreja’s lap. He was only allowed to snicker under his breath, Sarah’s eyes narrowed in threat as he took her glass and refilled it, before leaving with a friendly pat on Sarah Morgan’s hair. If there were any concerns to address, let them be handled by anyone else. Because Sarah Morgan knew the law very well, and knew that getting up and disturbing Andreja as she started to doze off on her lap would be worse than any war crime.

[youngerfrankenstein]

So, in my opinion, is Fire Emblem Engage worth getting?

In a word: No.

In 12 words: Well, maybe, if you get it cheap and only care about gameplay.

In several words:

Yeah I can’t say I’m fond of the game. Still, might as well start with the positives.

While it took me a while to figure them out, once I did I actually really liked the Emblem mechanics! It’s an interesting way to do weapon proficiencies and open up the reclassing options. Albeit the skill inheritance works far less well given the need to use SP. But they are fun and flashy and weirdly enough I kinda like the weird pseudo-cyberpunk costumes? And they have pretty darn useful special moves which I had a bad habit of not using in the same way I hoard stat ups.

The map design is overall decent? Not spectacular, but decent. And small honestly. But they did mostly play well, different without being too gimmicky. The variety of weapons you get ahold of is also nice, you get your average swords, lances, axes tomes and staves. Knives are also back again, and essentially so are fist weapons (called arts)! Though sadly no transforming classes :(

The smash mechanic is there. Sort of. Personally I never used it because the tradeoff of always going last was WAY too high for knocking an enemy back. And the break mechanic (weapon triangle advantage means the person can’t strike back) I have, mixed(?), feelings about. It has the tendency to be both super useful and super annoying. And since basically every map has the tendency to have a little of everything, planning out different teams for different maps isn’t really a thing. In fact you’re often just… stuck with who you first choose and the new guys. Given the level scaling it almost felt like you were just supposed to continually dump any but your best units for the ones you were just given, and a couple maps later you can’t really change your mind.

Part of this is because of how TERRIBLY skirmishes are implemented. They are ALWAYS a higher level than your best units and they scale. So if you were hoping to try out someone new or bring somebody who was falling behind up? You are in for frustration.

The UI is also kind of frustrating too. Even little things like the first option on the battle menus not being “Attack” or the main menu being “+”. And the controls often felt… sticky is the only way I can put it. Not physically, but like I would pick a character and see what their options were and while trying to put them back it felt like I had to hit “B” half a dozen times. Also nitpick I don’t know if you can change, but bring back the fucking movement arrow. I actually did find moving units more frustrating without it.

I would talk about the Somniel but honestly I barely used it. I think I didn’t at all until the 12th chapter or something, and once there I used the arena and that’s about it. The rest just felt like pointless minigames to waste your time and given how my dad’s reaction was to try them once, go “that was pointless” and never do them again, I think I am correct. Later in the game I tried to use a couple things to round out supports but it still took like 5 turns in between increasingly irritating skirmishes to go up ONE level so I ultimately gave up.

To be fair it’s not like I really cared about finishing the vast majority of the supports. Any problems 3H supports had? Double them. Maybe triple. They’re largely boring and ultimately I can’t say they made me care about any of the characters. Maybe I just got mostly bad ones but hey. I can’t this game will be adding to my “favourite FE characters” list. They’re mostly inoffensive and bland to mildly amusing. Favourite from this one? TIMERRA. Because I put Sigurd on her and she could one-shot one of the final boss’ health bars and could probably solo maps if I let her.

The fact the art style and designs are largely incohesive and ugly as sin does not help.

Now the big question. Is the story as bad as everyone says?

Yes. Yes it is.

Look. Simple stories with obvious plot twists CAN be done very well! This one is not. The dialogue is bad, and more than that it drags on fooooooooooooreeeeeeeeeeeeveeeeeeer. My god every scene lasts at least 5 minutes longer than it needed to. Special mention to Lumera and the Hounds’ deaths, as well as “But I wanted to be a good dragon.” It’s just not cheesy enough to be entertaining and not interesting enough to be, well, engaging.

Last note because I couldn’t think of where else to put it. But. The soundtrack is also pretty darn underwhelming. I like the Solm music! And I like a lot of the remixes! But overall it’s just. Bland.

So yeah. If you can find a cheap secondhand copy? Knock yourself out. Otherwise? Don’t bother.

[sasquach-scratches]

Elise Durant

She/Her Breton Early 20's

Birthsign: The Atronach

Primary Attributes: Intelligence and Willpower

Primary Skills: Mage (Alchemy, Alteration, Conjuration, Destruction, Illusion, Mysticism, Restoration)

Secondary Skills: Speechcraft, Mercantile

Titles: Seventh Champion of Cyrodiil; Duchess of Dementia

A Thaumavocalist from the city of Jehanna. Her magical talent was clear from a very early age, seeing her quickly rise through the ranks of the Mages Guild. Even after finding ways of circumventing her Wombburn condition, she dedicated herself to both conventional and melodic spellcasting. Over time, she took more to the latter, and eventually saw herself changing careers.

She found modest fame as a singer of both magical and mundane music. After her mother's insistence to return to a more "respectable" career in the guild, she decided to take her words to heart and settle on an even less respectable career as a traveling bard. Sure to find even greater fame in the heart of the Empire, she set out for the Imperial City to seek her glory.

Unfortunately her career wasn't as successful as she had hoped. With few connections in the city to truly get off the ground, she begrudgingly fell back on studying at the Arcane University until she found her "big break". She found it in the theft of the Orrery's components.

In volunteering to retrieve the components, she discovered another talent in magical violence. Through these feats she gained the fame she dreamed of much more quickly than she anticipated. Her mother always said adventuring was the least respectable career choice out there, which made her decision to embrace her identity as the "Siren Witch" easier.

It wasn't long before her connections among mages and glory-seekers led her to Daedric Shrines. Though she erred on the side of caution at first, her repeated success in earning the favor of every Prince she appealed to eroded her scruples fairly quickly. Soon her fame turned to infamy, and her abhorrent achievements put her behind bars.

Bonus art and comments after the break

Riding outfit since pants for the female character model are nearly nonexistent. Also trying to figure out her SI hairstyle a bit

So I didn't plan on having this one be a wall of text but whOOPs. I figure it's okay if I reserve these bigger bios for the main Hero of each TES game, but who knows

Decided to start with my Oblivion OCs because I feel like I don't use them as often? So this is sort of an exercise in fleshing them out (i say sort of because Elise's backstory was mostly fleshed out before this)

Anyways, fun fact! Elise actually started as an attempt to play as Kumatora from Mother 3. Eventually I decided to turn her into an OC and here we are. Thinking about it, that's like, a good chunk of my early TES OCs lol

[violetfoxsketches]

🧠 and 🌂 for Javier and 🎯 and 🎹 for Emmy? :D

Javier:

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?

Lmao as terrible as this sounds... He's fun to pick on. Not in a "I like bullying him" kind of vibe, but more like "You are a shitty person who takes advantage of others and maybe you regret it now and you're trying to fix that now, but I'm not gonna feel bad when something bad happens to you. You are the true butt-monkey of this chronicle."

Javier is the character I tell my Storyteller to not regret putting in Situations™ because he could stand to build some character and have the opportunity to Do Better™.

At the same time, I recognize Javier is a product of his trauma, and I'm curious to see if he manages to break the cycle of abuse that was inflicted on him. Man needs therapy, but that's a little hard to come by when you're undead. All he really has to turn to are the vestiges of his Catholic faith from his living days and by extension, his Humanity.

Where's a vampire psychologist when you need one?

🌂 - What genre do they belong in?

Javier is an Anti-Villain and tends to make the lives of those around him worse. Becoming prey to a vampire who turned him against his consent means he is Damned from the Start and ultimately it makes his story a Tragedy. Especially since he still naively holds onto the private hope that perhaps, if he prays enough, confesses enough, does something worthwhile... maybe God will keep save him from his hellbound fate.

But Javier isn't even sure if the Beast that that dug its claws into his cold, dead heart is a consequence of the vampiric curse that plagues him... or his own true, twisted self.

Emmy:

🎯 -What do they do best?

If you asked Emmy what he is best at he would tell you that's easy; its singing. Emmy has been obsessed with music from a young age but never properly nurtured to pursue that skill. However, he had grown into an angelic tenor nonetheless. And while often written off as 'stupid' or 'airheaded' because of his abysmal relationship with academia, Emmy has a staggeringly large catalogue of memorized lyrics, melodies, and harmonies. He can also harmonize with just about any tune he hears and is eager to start learning guitar.

Ask the right friends what he is best at, and they would mention his voice, yes, but they would also mention his sheer resolve and willingness to stand by his convictions, even in the most dire situations.

They'd also mention he's a hell of a driver, too.

🎹 - Do they have any hobbies?

Obviously, singing is a major part of Emmy's identity, so its no surprise that he is one to frequent open mics and karaoke bars. Not only does singing bring him joy, but he has an addictive personality and drowning in the attention he gets from being on stage is one of his favorite highs. He wishes one day to make a career out of his musical skill, but has no idea how to go about doing so. Doubly so now that he's stuck as an undead creature with a deadly allergy to sunlight.

In the same vein of his attention-seeking habits, Emmy loves to dance, both alone and with a partner. The bigger the audience, the better. He often tends to pair this with alcohol as a way of escapism and stress relief, and is a regular partyboy. He loves being the life of the party, despite the fact he himself is no longer alive.

A lesser-know hobby of Emmy's is his love of collecting plants and flowers of all kinds. But he does tend to gravitate towards plants native to the deserts of Arizona where he grew up. He has a healthy collection of potted plants that traveled with him in his car when he was alive, and he still adores them in unlife. Most are hardy succulents and an assortment of desert flowers, but he is always keen to grow red marigolds every summer, as they are his favorite flower. He even has a few paper red marigolds in a pot for the months where he cannot enjoy their blooms.

[m34gs]

For the writing ask meme: 9, 12, 19, and 30!

Hi friend, thank you so much for the ask! Sorry for the late reply; my migraine was really bugging me earlier. It's eased up a little now so I am excited to answer! 💜💜💜 (ask based on this post)

9. What fic meant the most to you to write?

Honestly, I would have to say A Different Kind of Magic; my Kalim/Idia fanfic where Idia mentors Kalim and Jamil in learning to control their magic before it consumes them. I know Kalim and Idia are a rarepair, and I know that this fic kind of just seems like me running wild with my imagination and going crazy with the angst. To be fair, those things are pretty much true. But, it's also a lot more than that to me. It's a story about grieving, about learning to let go of the past without forgetting it, about how parents aren't perfect and family is a work in progress, about how trauma follows you no matter how hard you try to hide it, and about how sometimes you can't have everything you want even though it might break your heart. That's some of what I've been dealing with over the past couple of years and so when I wrote this fic, those were all the emotions and feelings at the forefront of my mind. That's why it's so heavy. That's why there's happy parts mixed in with the sad. That's why there's no damnation of characters that don't behave perfectly and there's forgiveness and love in the end. Because that's what I needed too. I didn't even realize how much I needed to write that fic until I was already in the thick of it, and then I had a moment where I went "Oh. Oh. Oh shit this is me this is mine this is what I feel right now this is me" and I almost cried over it that day. I usually do put a lot of myself into fics, but this one was just so different and so raw. I put a lot of my soul into it. I really love this fic; I'm happy with how it turned out and it was so cathartic to write. So, yeah, it would be the most important one to me. If all the others somehow ended up accidentally deleted, I would be sad but I would be ok as long as this one stayed.

12. What fic was the most difficult to write? Did you finish it?

Hmmm, for a singular fic I think the most challenging one for me this year was the gift fic Mistletoe Misunderstandings (a Twisted Wonderland fic where Yuu is the only one aware of the Mistletoe Kissing Tradition); simply because it was the first time I included at least one representative of each NRC dorm in one fic for Twisted Wonderland. Capturing so many different personalities was a challenge for me, and several of the characters were ones I hadn't really written yet, or had not written often, so I pushed myself a bit. I did complete it and it was a lot of fun to do! I was in love with the prompt for it, and I absolutely am happy with how it turned out!! Definitely feel I've grown as a writer, hehe.

19. Share your favorite opening line

"There are some things in the world that simply cannot be explained. There are others which do, in fact, have an explanation, but it is so ancient and so secretive it has been forgotten. Others have an explanation yet to be discovered. Which of those three apply to the little convenience store in True Cross? It is impossible to tell, as much as it is impossible to tell what came first: the portal to another world or the wall it shares a space with."

-from Inconvenience Store, my Blue Exorcist Bon/Rin Haunted Convenience Store AU! I'm not sure why, this opening just sticks in my brain so much. I was super proud of it when I posted the first chapter, and I'm still pretty proud of it! Still a work in progress, and I love every minute I get to work on it!! :D

30. What’s something that you want to write in 2024?

Ooooh there's so many things! Of course, I'm excited to write more of the Saw AU and the Bar AU, as always! But if we're talking about individual fics not in a series, I would have to say I'm really wanting to start posting my Vampire Idia x Human Kalim fic in 2024! I love the ideas I have for it and I am super excited to write more of Idia and Kalim as a couple. (Plus, @kamikazequail gave me inspiration for another vampire au; since when asked I couldn't decide if I liked Human Ortho or Vampire Ortho better...there shall be two AUs!! Mwahahaha). And I'm excited to see what the year will bring!

[gutsfics]

Top 9 Shows

i was tagged by @inlocusmads at the begining of the month and then. promptly forgot about it.

anyway i tried to do a mix of live action and animated shows even though i watch more animated shows bc i didn't want to look too much like a child

Santa Clarita Diet - this show is for the bisexuals fr. Shelia and Joel are total couple goals. Netflix is cowards for canceling it

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine - there's an episode where Quark, Rom, and Nog accidentally get sent back in time and become the Roswell Aliens and Quark tries to convince the humans to do even more capitalism than they were already doing, and its called Little Green Men. Show of all time.

Rise of the TMNT - the best TMNT show (imo) soley for the fact the turtles actually have different designs for once. also its insanely beautifully animated and really funny. also fun fact but Mikey's voice in this (done by Brandon Mychal Smith) is my voice claim for Devi.

The Muppets (2015) - my favorite show about making a show, and hands down the best Muppets show to come out of the last decade. which is like an insanely low bar bc they've been doing a steady nosedive since Disney bought them. BUT. honestly this is how a modern Muppets show should be done. compared to other modren Muppets shows, theres so much energy. i wish Up Late With Miss Piggy was a real show

Gravity Falls - i love when a show has exactly enough episodes to tell the story it wants to tell and doesn't get cut short or run on for too long. also Alex Hirsch faking screenshots of Fiddleford writing the journals was genious and every showrunner should do stuff like that instead of changing the plot bc the fans found out what was going on a season early. theres this shit called forshadowing, and it's good if your audience can pick up on it

Community - one of my binge shows for when i don't feel like doing something else or watching something new. i usually stick to the first 3 seasons though. Shirley is the best character and i wish the writers knew what to do with her more often. there was so much going for her and the writers just dropped the ball so hard

Bojack Horseman - my other binge show and my second favorite show about making a show (and movies). it's not often that a character's arc ends with them gaining weight, as a sign of healing or otherwise, so Diane holds a really special place in my heart, especially bc there isnt a single joke about Diane's weight gain at her expence. also Todd is best boy.

Breaking Bad - Jesse Pinkman my beloved

Invader Zim - i was actually born the same year this. when i was old enough to actually watch the reruns, i was terrified of it. now its my favorite show. i have a gir hoodie :3

tagging @raytaku @lame-kid-on-couch @enki-ankarian @mydemonsdrivealimo

[spinningbuster98]

Mega Man Zero Part 3: The Four Guardians

And now we meet the Fout Guardians, 4 recurring villains of this series!

I won’t spend much time talking about them here since....well since Zero 1 is really paper thin in terms of plot so we don’t get to spend a lot of time with them here, but rest assured that in the future I’ll have plenty to say about these guys

Harpuia is supposed to be the leader yet he’s by far the easiest because he suffers from a severe case of Spark Mandrill syndrome when hit with his weakness as you can see.

Phantom on the other hand is the hardest because ha has no weaknesses. In the Zero series bosses follow an elemental-based weakness system. There are 3 elements: Fire, Ice and Thunder. Fire beats Ice, Ice beats Thunder and Thunder beats Fire. However there are a couple of bosses who have no element assigned to them and so have no weaknesses and they tend to be the hardest bosses of their respective game, with Phantom being one of them

So let’s talk about the Zero series’ defining gimmick: the Cyber Elves

You find Cyber Elves all over the place, often even enemies drop them.

There are 3 categories of Elves: Nurse, whose abilities are related to health regeneration/upgrades. Animal: who give Zero new permanent abilities or do stuff like shoot alongside him or save him from a pit. And Hacker who can alter stages and enemies in various ways

Now if used properly Cyber Elves can turn these games from hard as balls to easy as piss because some of them can absolutely break the game

Some can boost your max health but others can even give you a second health bar altogether

Some can double your defense

Some can neutralise Insta kill obstacles, turn enemies into Mets (which not only makes a level generally easier but is also pretty funny as the Mets are not given redesigns, no they’re exactly their same Classic goofy selves with their sprites lifted straight from MM7), slow down time, instantly kill EVERY enemy in a level, halve a boss’ health bar etc

However!

In order to balance all of this not only are the most OP Elves pretty rare and come in limited quantities (for example each game only has 2 Cyber elves that can eliminate every enemy in a level meaning that you’ll only be able to use this ability in 2 levels max) but you’ll also have to feed some of them plenty of Energy Crystals in order to make them evolve first, like a tamadochi

(Fun fact: apparently the Crystals in Crystal Snail’s stage in X2 and in Tunnel Rhino’s in X3 are supposed to be Energy Crystals, at least according to the X Legacy Collection)

Now this system makes sense: you find E Crystals by exploring levels and they’re also dropped by enemies. It’s a nice system!

In the next games

Here however the game requires you to have an absolutely GARGANTUAN amount of E Crystals to evolve just about any Elf, and the levels aren’t very generous with them either

Throughout this entire playthrough I was only able to evolve one Elf to increase my max health and that’s it, and that was after beating most of the game!

There’s absolutely no way you’ll be able to truly get the most out of this system without obscene amounts of grinding. Granted it’s not “necessary” to use Cyber Elves, the games even penalise your final ranking if you use them, but it sure would’ve softened the blow of this game’s difficulty now wouldn’t it?

Also yeah the Zero games rank you after each level. Technically not the first instance of a Mega Man game doing something like this, both X5 and X6 sort of did this, however these games actually give you the end of stage specifics of how you fared.

Needless to say getting an S rank is tough as shit, not only due to having to play these hard stages near perfectly but also because the games calculate an average of your scores between stages in order to determine your rank

So say you got a perfect score in this level but got a flimsy score in the previous one: you ain’t getting that S rank because the average will not be enough. Basically the only surefire way to get S ranks in these games is to do a perfect run throughout each of them. Eggmanland whomst?

Furthermore ranking in these games isn’t just something that’s given to you at the end of each level but an actual marking on Zero that you can see near his health. If you fight a boss while having an S or A rank that boss will have access to a special move they wouldn’t use otherwise. So yeah: the game will do everything in its power to make you lose that A/S rank

Not that I’m complaining: it’s 100% optional and you don’t get much by having high ranks (especially in this game) other than bragging rights

[here4theheartbreak]

I can’t imagine there being a gay bar here hosting monthly kpop nights. In fact, I can’t even imagine there being a gay bar...!  😅

The cup sleeve itself looks so nice, and so do those pretty decorations! I'm so glad these events are a thing. I think it really builds a sense of (wider) community. 💕

Bouncy definitely has a 'kpop' vibe. The first time I heard it, it felt simultaneously like the least/most ‘Ateez’ Ateez song to date. But I know that was their plan. They’ve been saying for a while that they want to try and capture the interest of KR at large — whilst also being themselves and respecting what they already have. Which, honestly, I think they’ve done. It’s a nice song to just ENJOY and have fun with. 🌶️🔥🐐🥊🤠 

That’s a lot of songs you made your way through over the weekend! I’m impressed. There were a few songs I wasn’t sure about at first...but now I’m actively adding them to my playlists, soooo yeah... 🌟✨

A miniseries would be great!! I’d love it if it was like the MV’s and the teasers — where there are just subtitles and sometimes voiceovers. That’d be pretty cool. I hope they do it. Or that they do something similar! KQ are clearly not afraid to splash a little cash on locations and cinematography. 

Ohhh, I read the new Diary storyline/pages on twitter somewhere. It’s definitely on there if you don’t want to wait!

The Atiny and Ateez relationship is sooo good. Surprisingly good, actually. We’re really lucky that nothing significant has happened to create distance. Especially given how some fans are so invasive and overly familiar sometimes. Still, I think Atiny are mostly chill, and there’s not much guilt involved in supporting them either. Not everyone can vote every single time, or stream all day long. From what I’ve seen, it’s always just been a case of if you can, please do. And, yeah, it doesn't always work out. There have been a few heartbreaking losses on music shows, for instance (the one where they all had glasses of orange juice on stage to celebrate, but then they didn’t win, springs to mind 😭). Still, it’s like San always says, we can support Ateez with our whole hearts, but we should always be the most important people in our own lives!

JFC. YES. THERE'S SO MUCH CONTENT. I can only wish you luck because that is quite a mountain to climb! 😅

Wanteez is so good! I especially loved the latest drinking episodes! Poor drunk San! Someone save him, our tipsy tomato~!

Ah, I also love Woosan! 🦊☂️⛰️ I love their energy. I love that they bicker. I love that they cling. I love that they have matching friendship tattoos. I love: 'we're not always good, but we always choose each other.' I love: 'the best luck I have experienced in my life was meeting you.'

They’re super cute, and silly, and funny~!

I’m really glad that San is someone you can have as a bias — even if it felt impossible for you at first. He really has such a good heart! Just like Wooyoung!

Honestly, I think people often forget that about Wooyoung, because he’s loud and he’s hilarious. I mean, yes, he's always messing with the members and causing chaos on screen and on stage.... but he’s incredibly kindhearted.

Hongjoong literally said that when Wooyoung gets hurt by other people, he blames himself rather than them. He blames himself for trusting them in the first place, rather than them for what they’ve done to him.

Alsoooo, when that whole Ateez vs Vata dance plagiarism thing happened he was so visible in standing up for their team. Adding the 'driving' move to his The Real dance breaks. Calling out the copying. What a guy.

And then there's that time he called out a sasaeng for continually phoning Jongho when they were doing a vlive together. He's not afraid to speak up and it's such a strength.

Oh! Annnnnnd there's the fact that he cried after Yeosang's ending ment last year because he'd overheard Yeosang talking to his mom about a surgery she was having.... but YS hadn't told anyone in Ateez about it, including WY even though they'd been friends for 8 years. And WY had been so worried about YS's mom but he didn't know how to ask him about it. So, he ended up in tears when YS brought it up on stage.

Really, Wooyoung cares so much. I could list soooo many different examples of him feeling so much, and caring so much, about those around him.

In fact, I could probably do that for all the members! 😂💖

(/you have reached the end of my unplanned Wooyoung rant 😂)

Ahhh yeah, absolutely none of them can stay in their lanes. They're always swerving all over the place. Right now, Yunho is coming for me. The way he laughs shyly into his hand? Let me live, puppy~ 😩

Since day one, my bias has been Kim Hongjoong! I saw our tiny captain rapping with his pretty hair, looking full of passion, painting his clothes and his nails, telling off the younger members like a stressed-out dad, and I was like 'ahhh, there he is. He's the man for me!'

My bias wrecker is Seonghwa. So, I'm all about Matz~! 😂 But I literally love them all so much!

Well, I recently got an Ateez tattoo- lyrics from Promise. So, I recommend the Promise video from 2019 - although the 'Band Live Concert' version is the one I actually like the most, the 2019 one is just the one from when I first got into them, so it has nice memories attached to it!

Don't Stop is a great MV that people sometimes miss because it's not on KQ's channel.

I still recommend Treasure Film because they have to do a bunch of fun tasks - Jongho has to arm wrestle guys at a gym, Yeosang has to conquer his shyness and say hello to people on the street (🥺) etc etc. And there's a really sweet section near the end where they have to call their moms and tell them what they're thankful for. It's so good because they're actually exactly like their moms! 💖

There's also their cover of Black Cat Nero. Both the Immortal Songs stage and the subsequent MV are good!

And there's the song they did for Pepsi with Monsta X (and others) - Summer Taste. It's worth a glance. Changkyun coming in after Hongjoong?? Yessss, please. 😍

Talking of MX, Choi Jongho has got to be the most successful Monbebe of all time! What a king~!✨

Sorry about this being an essay length ask.... 😩😂

Honestly the production quality that KQ has when it comes to their mvs is insane! Right away I asked my friend who owned these guys - given the horrid history with certain companies, there’s some I’m just not comfortable supporting even in a small way - when she said they were fully indie I did not expect much at all - so I was absolutely FLOORED. They know where their cash cow is and they treat them well, it seems.

I actually ordered another copy that should be here sooner of the diary version! Should be here next week I think, so sooner than mid-July lol; I have a friend who is getting into the group with me so I’ll just gift them the extra copy (they don’t collect PCs or anything, so I often end up passing along my spare copies of albums that I don’t wanna tangle with selling 😂)

I sat down today and tried to go and make a list of all their different variety shows and things they appear often on (like their hello82 stuff, etc) and I was floored by just how much there was. Every time I thought I completed the list I scrolled and found yet another show or mini-series I had completely missed 😩 - how does this group have so much?? Do these kids SLEEP? 🤣

I have seen clips of the drinking episode and am so tempted to skip forward to it because it looks so genuinely hilarious, who the hell let them get that drunk 😂

My God I can’t talk enough about Woosan. I’ve always been preferential to bias pairs who have that tom and jerry soulmate energy but I genuinely haven’t had a pair that embodies it SO perfectly. The people you look at and you’re like, yeah, those two were always meant to find each other, it wouldn’t matter how many miles separated them, they’d wind up stumbling over each other in some way. 
“We’re not always good, but we always choose each other.” - the way I almost burst into tears, I watched that episode just last night actually. Or the recent show - when San was asked if he regretted the tattoo and just, entirely unhesitating “never” even tho they’d been sniping at each other all day 😭😭😭

And truly! I didn’t think much about Woo at first; I kinda assumed he was just another dancer/visual type but since San wouldn’t let me breathe without Wooyoung RIGHT THERE I ended up looking more into him and he’s so sweet. My God, he’s such a caring, gentle person. Definitely the embodiment of more than meets the eye in so many ways. And he’s so mindful of all the members, he knows exactly how to play with each of them, even if sometimes it’s a little chaotic, you just know he’s always gonna be the one there if they need something.

I heard about the Vata thing! That took some real nerve on his part, calling him out so publicly - good for him though, there needs to be more people in the industry like him, it might become a little less corrupt and nasty if there were. If more weren’t afraid to call out the bullshit maybe people would be more mindful of not starting this shit.

And frankly his TALENT. Jesus. When I told my friend I’d picked him as my split bias for sure, she explained some of his past and being picked on by other fandoms, etc - it was heartbreaking - he’s got so much talent and deserves the world 😭

I mean honestly - all of them; I’ve never seen a more shining example of a group of just genuinely well meaning people who try their best to do the right thing, and so talented on top of it - like… How did I miss them for so long??? I got into kpop as a whole literally six months before they debuted?! I could have picked them up from day one! The way I’m kicking myself for it 😩

Yunho! Jfc that guy. He was the member I didn’t really notice right away but this comeback and as I watch more variety shows - he’s so cute?! And he’s got such a funny personality, bahh- I figured I’d be safe from him but nah, he’s climbed right up there. Instead of a list of 8 places 1 through 8 this group is more like 1, 2, 2.5 — Woosan; Yeo and Joong; then the other 4 - there’s no least favorite 😭

Ah! Tattoo! That’s so cool; I love it; my friend has an Ateez tattoo from Star 1117; I’m thinking I will probably add one to my sleeve as well, I’ll wait until after I go to a concert, maybe, unless I’m super inspired. I haven’t seen that video though! Another one to add to my list lol - but I have seen Don’t Stop! That video was insane, I loved it sm and the song was great. I remember sending it to my friend when I watched it with the comment “the sweet little criminal mastermind pirates” (honestly the number of nicknames this poor group has ended up with - my favorite was for Jongho, “the softest insurrectionist you’ll ever see” - and I stand by that. 😂)

Also omg Black Cat Nero - so this video is funny (in another I’m kicking myself square in the ass way) bc I’ve seen it pop up on my dash ever since it came out (the Halloween m/v specifically); and every time I saw it I almost clicked on it bc it looked interesting with San’s makeup… And I didn’t because it wasn’t a group I was into so I just… Ignored it. For two years YouTube has tried to hand me this damn group.

(Also no need to apologize for the long asks lol - I’m sure my non-atiny friends are so so sick o hearing me ramble for hours about these guys so I 100% do not mind 😂😂😂😂