#this is almost certainly a weird translation thing

[redheadedbrunette]

Do you ever have the urge to just say words out loud constantly but not to anyone necessarily but also you know you look crazy talking to yourself and also people *will* walk by and hear you doing it and aaaahhhhhhhhhh

[gremlingottoosilly]

Maid-up problems (Konig x maid!Reader)

Konig goes to a maid cafe. Billions must perish. Tags and CW: yandere Konig, obsessive and creepy behaviour, Konig is a bit of a perv, colonel loser Konig, maids and maid cafes, general fluff, slight age difference, slight size difference, mostly from Konig's pov. AO3

— Welcome home, master. What your maid I get for you today, hm? König just died and went to heaven. Heaven consists of pretty girls running around in fluffy skirts, little aprons and putting on adorable headbands with white ruffles. Heaven filled with the smell of reheated pastries and pre-made snacks, with neutral sweet perfume and the stench of sweat from the customers. Heaven is filled with angels who run around in maid costumes and call him master – and all of this without going through the hassle of finding a cosplay-friendly prostitute in Vienna.

He honestly rolled his eyes the first time he saw the post about a new maid cafe opening in town. Horangi was the one to show him - the bastard didn’t even live in Austria and yet had followed all the news, maybe to only make fun of his colonel. He knows that the tiger has his dirty secrets too – ido girls, idol boys, some new band every week that he’d spend his paycheck to get all possible merch. Changing his gambling addiction to a k-pop one – all while his glorious commander is going crazy from the new maid hentai he just watched. Honestly embarrassing at his age…but he doesn’t care. He has money for the exclusive translations and elite figures – and he has some time on leave to visit the damn maid cafe. Then König meets you. He died, went to heaven and was greeted with an angel…no, a goddess. In a frilly apron, short skirt and adorable, albeit a bit embarrassed smile. You had your persona on – dorky and clumsy, useless little maid that customers liked to scold when you’d almost drop their drinks and then fake cry while apologizing. Some sadistic bastards like to play pretend by calling your manager while you’d beg for them not to. Some perverts with a hero complex would play into your pleads. König stares in awe as you drop the menu accidentally, not forgetting to show off your cleavage as you pick it up. Brushing it off with your finger, looking so tiny and shy…god, he fucking adores you already. — S…so sorry, master. Please, forgive me for dropping the- — It’s okay. Don’t worry, ja? 

He reaches for your hand, but you shoo it away. No touching – the cafe policy, as dumb as it sounds. He knows it’s for your own good, to protect you from perverts and creeps – but you shouldn’t be so scared about touching him. He would have to train you to do this after. nothing that a few touches of a good military discipline wouldn’t fix though – and he is very good at breaking down dumb recruits and annoyingly stubborn people. Oh. Right. He still kinda has to order. His gaze immediately flicks to the most expensive thing on the menu – an exclusive dessert, probably too sweet for his tastes. He will have to make do though – there isn’t much on the menu, certainly is zero alcohol so drunk guests wouldn’t harass the maid girls, and a tiny portion of an omelet with some ketchup hearts squeezed all over it certainly isn’t to his tastes either. No, König had his eyes – covered by glasses, of course, he didn’t want to show off his scars and the expression of a serial killer forced to work in mercenary forces to cute girls in ruffled aprons – on a different prize. You. 

And the exclusive photos and a hug from any waitress of the fine establishment that would come with this overpriced order. 

König has never seen the manager of this cafe, but he is ready to give them all money he has – just for implementing this feature into the menu. Just for selling off their girls to any customer who is willing to pay almost 50 Euros for a piece of a pretty regular cake and some coffee. 

You stare at his order for a few seconds, your mouth going agape. He is not hurt – it was weird, after all, for a guy like him to order something as silly as this. You’re probably weirded out, thinking that he accidentally put his finger on the order – but you know better than to ask again and risk him changing his mind. Your cafe gives off bonuses if guests want to take a picture with you so, naturally, you’re all smiles and nods, tilting your head to the side as you say, ever-so-sweetly, that you’d be back with his order. Now…is König ashamed of liking the pretty little maid so much? Not really, to be completely honest, he kinda adores having you around, and he’d pay even more for the opportunity to touch you. Too bad your cafe isn’t a front for some other body business – he’d be happy to raid it on the part of special forces and then save you from such a gruesome fate by making you his wife. 

König wonders if your cafe has themed days. Maybe catgirls, cosplay, maybe housewives. 

König wonders if he can get your number. Then his gaze falters to the reflection of his face in the screen of his phone – and, no, not going to happen. Not when he is fresh out of deployment, barely showered, and thrown a clean hoodie on which does very little to cover the smell of blood clinging to his body. It’s his cross to bear – his victims scratching at his ankles as the colonel sips on complimentary water from a pink glass and looks at all the other losers who coming to this fine establishment. 

You’re lucky it’s a slow day – if König saw you being so sweet and touchy with some other lousy customer, he might have shot the whole place up. Master does not tolerate his silly servant being so nice to others, after all. 

— Your coffee, master. 

He whips out a stack of bills already, way more than what he was supposed to pay even with the exclusive offer he ordered. Your mouth opens to stop him, to remind him of the actual price of everything – then he breaks whatever good intentions you had when he starts to speak, his voice muffled a bit because of his black surgical mask. 

— Do you have a boyfriend? 

Oh. 

Now, under normal circumstances, you’d yell for the manager to come and pick you up. You’d scream bloody murder and alert other girls and clients that you’re having a bad customer who is going into harassment mode very quickly – asking such personal questions at this place is something that shouldn’t be happening, no sir. Totally not happening. 

But…the work has been a bit slow lately. You didn’t get as many bonuses as you wanted to, and the rent is coming up, and the phone bill is getting more expensive…sometimes you just got unlucky and his a streak of customers not liking your particular archetype – so if this weird dude who is totally killing people in his spare time wants a bit more than usual service and is definitely ready to pay for it. 

You might have had a thing for guys in masks. Big, muscular guys in masks who looks like they can choke you with their thighs and then fucking destroy you. With money who can get you a bit closer to your savings goal. So, you’re not calling your manager, your friends, or the police. So, you play into the fantasy for a little bit, remembering all the acts your supervisors drilled into your head. — Of course I don’t, master. I’m here for you, remember? You smile and nod, hoping it will be enough. Hoping a guy like him could be satisfied with something as silly as this, something as tiny. You touch his hand a bit later, making sure to hold him for a while longer. A simple trick to enhance the amount of tip you can get – even tho you feel like playing with fire when you touch this guy so sweetly. 

And, oh, König is…done for. Smitten. Shot right in the heart through his cock, somehow. This man survived battle after battle, destroyed more small countries than there is letters in his real name, but he was defeated by a pretty girl in a maid outfit in a cafe made for incels and otaku wannabees. If any of his lower officers saw him right now, with ears and cheeks burning angry red, with his heavy breathing and obvious, but concealed by table hard-on, he would be done for. 

But, oh god, aren’t you just beautiful? 

Obviously embarrassed and maybe a bit shy – he thinks it’s probably just your persona, a way to milk tips from the customers who like to play dominant, but König doesn’t even need to play. He knows he’d have to take you by the end of your shift, whatever this time might be. He is not the best person for the romance job, but he’ll be damned if he let a pretty thing like you just run away like a silly girl you are. 

— Can I have your phone number? You want to say no, he can’t have your phone number. The guy smells of gunpowder and blood, looks like he is going to shoot the entire venue down if you disagree with him, and you do not want to die like a hero for a job that pays barely above minimum wage for the amount of public humiliation you have to endure to ensure good tips. The guy smells like danger and a bad time and a long conversation with your manager about the types of guests that they allow into this fine establishment. 

You want to say no and yell but, then again, there are multiple factors that are screaming against such rush decisions. A huge chunk of money he still has in his valet is, embarrassingly enough, one of the biggest decision-making points. — We’re not really allowed to give our phone numbers, master… His hand goes to his pocket. 

You’re not sure if he is touching his cock, his gun, or another stack of bills right now – but all of the options are kinda making you want to die before you can check your answers. It’s going to be bad either way, so you tilt your head to the side, trying to look as innocent as possible. 

— But I can make an exception! 

He actually startles, looking at you like you just agreed to marry him. You probably would, with enough bullet threats – but you still bite your tongue, not wanting to give the crazy guy an idea. You actually don’t know if he is crazy or not – but taking your chances isn’t something you want to do on a nice Monday dead work day. 

You can see relief in his eyes. A little wrinkles of smile, too – his mouth is covered by a mask, but you’re almost sure he is grinning like an idiot under this thing. Oh no…you just insulted a customer in your mind. It’s really bad for business. 

You write your number down and pass it right to his hand without anyone noticing…you hoped so, at least – you don’t want other customers to order the same special treatment and you know that the manager would have your head for overstepping the rules so much. No one would care that you’re saving this fucked up place from a massacre – they would only care about arbitrary rule-breaking. You lick your lips and smile as his hand lingers on you a bit too long. 

His hands are big and warm, too – you’re getting lost in the touch, as he carefully caresses the back of your palm with his thumb. He is…surprisingly tender. As much as a killing machine can be tender, of course – but you do appreciate a softer, milder touch. You do appreciate his hands on your body, caressing it softly and maybe even leaning you for a kiss and a quick…

Oh god, what are you thinking. You need to stop, immediately. 

He pulls from his table suddenly and you almost feel like you fucked up, somehow. Maybe he did wanted something a big more than what you were willing to give, maybe this guy wanted you in a way that was not friendly for the cafe – but he swoops you by your waist before you could say anything before your hands could go upright and smack him – and you stop right before hearing him saying the dreadful words. The words you wished he wouldn’t have enough money to say. 

God, this is hopeless. 

— Can I get my special offer now? 

König makes it sound like the special offer would include you on your knees, choking on his cock. König makes it sound like it would include you on your back, taking pounding from him while he tugs on your dumb apron and tells you to cry for your master. König makes it sound like the short skirt of your outfit was not covering you enough, he makes it sound perverted, horrible, utterly despicable, he makes it sound like…

God, he doesn’t have enough self-control for you. 

You just…look so scared. Nervous. You play with the fabric of your costume in your hands as the other maid – some faceless pretty thing for him, with his eyes glued to your side anyway – was making pictures. Polaroid, is overpriced for a couple of photos he will get…but he doesn’t care if he has to blow off an entire contract bonus if that means getting some bonus from you. 

He gets to hold your waist and it’s so easily to imagine digging his fingers to your sides as he fucks you with as much passion as he could gather. It’s easy to imagine his cock pumping into you, your tummy bulging from the sheer size difference between you and him – poor thing, you’d probably be terrified as he would force himself onto you. Maybe you’d clutch your little apron adorably and beg for him to stop. Maybe you’d ask him to be rougher and more passionate – to make you his in all sorts of ways. He just…he can’t imagine not taking you home after this. 

He hugged you, it’s basically a marriage proposal already. 

You try your best to ignore the way his hand slips down, almost to the point of groping your ass. You ignore it, the girl who is taking the pictures ignores it too. No one wants a scandal, no one wants to point this out – everyone knows how tips are made here, and you sure as hell won’t be putting yourself in danger just because you feel his giant hand fondling you through the fabric of your silly dress. You forgot the protective shorts too - so there is only a matter of underwear and skirt between his hand and your ass. 

Somehow, the sensation isn’t as terrible as you want it to be. Somehow, you feel like tips aren’t the only thing that keeps you from screaming at him. 

König died and went to heaven – this much is obvious. He is taking a picture with a pretty girl, he touches a pretty girl in maid's suit and she doesn’t even say anything to him. He just went out from a successful contract that would keep his pockets full for a few months and went straight for his savings, and he killed more people than the last week – god, life is fucking beautiful. He fondles your ass with his hand, other is awkwardly limp to his side, and he already knows that he will be a regular here. 

He hates getting his pictures taken – it’s normal for people in his line of work, being a mercenary and a socially active person isn’t something wise if you don’t want an enemy finding out where you live, but he doesn’t really care anymore – he will keep the pictures with you, hold it in his wallet and put a spare one in his vest pocket. You can be his little guardian angel, the pretty girl who is waiting for him to return. 

And he does have your number with him. 

— Are you happy with the pictures, master? 

You tilt your head and König forces down the urge to squeeze your cheeks and kiss you. They way you say this, the way you call him master – he simply can’t resist, not when you’re too fucking adorable to miss out on. He knows it’s inappropriate, he knows you’re just working here, but it doesn’t stop him from leaving a hefty tip and making sure you know exactly what made him leave so much. 

God, he can’t wait to make you his. 

König wonders if you’d agree to wear a skimpier outfit once you’re at the safety of his house. 

[copias-sewer-rat]

Naughty Presents: Papa Emeritus I x AFAB!Reader

Summary: During the holidays Primo isn't as busy taking care of his dear flowers, but that doesn't mean he isn't going to ensure that you are taken care of.

Words: 6K

Warnings: smut, minors DNI, use of sex toys (sucker, dildo, bullet vibrator, bunny vibrator, cuffs and nipple pincers), edging, orgasm denial, slight roleplay (just a bit), cunnilingus, afab! reader, p in v action, grinding, over stimulation, uncomfortable possition, aftercare, bad translated Italian.

Available on Ao3

Secondo (Ao3)

Terzo (Ao3)

Copia (Ao3)

Author's note: First day of the XXXMas at the Ministry series, a wonderful collab involving @ghulehunknown, @molly-ghuleh, @bupia and myself. Please stay tunned for their stories comming the following days, I will update this here story as they post so you can go read. Extra thanks to @bupia for her amazing job on the graphics that come along these fics, absolutely stunning.

It is peaceful. December in the Abbey has always been. The view from your room is pure bliss. Untouched white snow covering the gardens, the small lights from the streetlamps casting a warm tone to it, almost like clouds when the sun sets. At a distance you observe the greenhouse, the place where your amore spends most of his time, that is when he isn’t covering you with kisses and adoring your body. It feels melancholic now. There isn’t much to do now for him now and you know he is eager to return to his duties, his green thumb burning with desire to plant and to take care of his beloved flowers once again.

He has always had a gentle touch, putting all of himself into the things that he loves, his brothers, his flowers, you… Now that the holiday season has begun, Primo has come up with a plan to take care of il suo fiore preferito.

Sitting next to the window, very close to your bedroom chimney, you hear a shuffle. You had expected for Primo not to return for at least a couple more hours, having absented himself saying that he had an urgent meeting with his brothers about the New Year’s party. Maybe it is your imagination playing games with you, maybe you are hearing the crackling of the fire and falling asleep. You certainly feel tired, feeling too comfy in the pillow and blanket fort you have made for yourself. The warm silence fills the room once again and you close your eyes briefly. You begin drifting off to sleep without even noticing it.

The image of Primo pops in front of you almost instantly in your mind, and you feel the outside warmth spreading inside of you, making you blush as he stares at you lovingly. He is so handsome, you think. His shinny long white hair falling free over his face and shoulders, his painted face offering the warmest of smiles. Primo gets closer to you, enveloping your form into his, caressing your back with his long and skilled hands, slowly descending to your butt. He kisses your face, every inch of it and starts to travel to your neck, kissing your pulse as a moan escapes your lips while you feel his pressure on top of you. His kisses become more fervent, more desperate and you cannot avoid gripping the back of his shirt. You can feel him so clearly, his heat, his fragrance, — a mixture of his favourite tea and the herbal flowery scent that follows him everywhere he goes — his mouth leaving hickeys all over and then his sharp canines are biting into you with force, making you gasp and wake.

You jolt awake and a pair of hands grab your sides gently.

“Mio sole, are you okay?” Primo stands right in front of you, just as he had been in your dream. His hair falling in the exact same places, the same warm and content smile lighting up the dimness of the room. You wonder if you this is still a dream, but Primo grips your sides with more force as a response of your silence and you know this is the real deal.

“I am fine, caro. I just had a bit of a weird dream…” You confess with tiredness in your voice.

“Davvero? Would you like to tell me about it?” Primo asks, and a slight blush creeps to your cheeks. “Cuore mio, I heard your moans… I thought you were having fun without me, and that cannot be.” He smirks showing his teeth and the slight blush turns into a full-on red face.

“Well… It wasn’t without you…” You look at him, biting your lower lip.

“Ah.. now I am intrigued. Perhaps you might want to tell me while you open your presents?” You blink and see a lustful glint in Primo’s green eye.

“What’s this about? Dear, it is not even Christmas yet.” The question falls on deaf ears as Primo extends his hand for you to take.

You rise from your seat, leaving the comfort of your nest to follow your lover. His hand takes yours gently, rubbing his thumb over the top in a calming motion. There is nothing to fear, you know for sure, you trust Primo with your body and soul.

“Close your eyes, mio sole.” He says and you obediently oblige. “That’s it, amoruccio. Let me lead you and in the meantime, tell me about this dream of yours sì?” A couple of hands grab your sides to guide you, hands you would let do anything and everything to you…

“Well, it was nothing out of the ordinary…” Primo hums “you were kissing me, touching me all over…” He taps your hip, signaling you to continue “and then you bit me with force, probably making me bleed, but the pain felt… nice? Like it added to the general pleasure, you know?” You hear a small laughter coming from him, he is not mocking you, but there is something funny going on, probably related to your surprise, so you just hold your question for a bit longer.

With a few more steps you feel your surroundings changing. You are still in your shared apartment but you are changing rooms. Primo’s hands go up and down your sides reassuringly, and you giggle ticklishly.

“Mio sole, mi dispiace, please could you wait here for a moment?”

“Of course, caro.” You say, eyes still closed.

Primo moves away from you and you already miss him. You hear shuffling, rustling and clicking, which suddenly turns you into a ball of pure nervousness. ‘What is he up to?’ you think. The image you see with your close eyelids suddenly turns orange, and then you see orbs of light dancing around. You know where you are now, the clear image of your living room appears in your mind, the long green velvety sofa, the dark brick chimney, the tall bookshelves full of books and the enormous Christmas tree situated in the middle of the room.

From a distance Primo calls your name, telling you to open your eyes and once again you oblige. The sight you encounter is nothing short of mouth opening. Everything is exactly as you had pictured it but for all of the new details in front of the tree. Primo is there, dressed in a red Santa Claus outfit, without the beard that is as his makeup graces his beautiful aging features. But everything else is on point: the hat, the suit, the leather boots and gloves, he looks fantastic! That’s not the only thing that catches your attention though. He is seated on a chair you have never seen before, it almost looks like a throne, and around it there are several presents wrapped in beautiful paper, all of them decorated with neatly handmade bows.

Your mouth opens at the sight. You are no stranger to get surprises from Primo, but this is something else.

“What-What is this?” Words fail you, you are too in shock to speak properly and Primo gives you a low chuckle.

“I was in a festive mood and thought of a way to thank you for being you, so incredibly amazing and perfect you.” The blush returns to you once more. “Come close, Primo Claus has some presents for you.” You almost cannot process what is going on, but instinctively put a foot in front of the other and get before him. “Come on, sit on my lap and tell Primo Claus how naughty you have been this year.” He says with a low tone and you blink several times, raising your brow incredulously and pressing your lips together, trying not to laugh. This is so out of character for him, which does not mean that it is not turning you on like hell. In fact, you can feel the wetness of your core staring to be bothering, your previous dream started the fire and now you feel like you are going up in flames.

The glint in Primo’s gaze is even stronger now, undressing you as if you were a present yourself, so neatly wrapped and ready to be teared up bit by bit. Agonizingly slow you sit down, holding Primo’s gaze as you do so, not intending to be the only one that is going to suffer tonight. You finally sit on his lap and wiggle a bit, trying to find a comfortable position, or that’s the lie you tell Primo when he asks you to stop teasing and that’s when you feel him already half hard under you. Once settled, Primo speaks:

“Okay, mio sole. Tell me, have you been good or naughty this year?” Trying to hold your laughter, you rise a hand and put it covering your mouth as if you were thinking very hard about it.

“Oh, Primo Claus, I think I have been very naughty this year…” You confess, your tone slow and sensual, trying to tease him as much as he is teasing you.

“Davvero? Tell me. What naughty things have you done this year?” Primo asks raising a hand and grabbing your chin so you don’t advert our gaze as you speak.

“Well, you see, my partner is a very horny old man and so we have done it everywhere, and I mean everywhere: the kitchen, the bedroom, this same living room in different areas, the bathroom, the closet, the gardens, the classrooms, the chapels, the confessional booths, his office, in some corridors as well…” As you continue your list, you feel Primo’s breath deepen, his heart beating faster and his cock getting harder.

“I get it, but lucky for you, Primo Claus does not reward people who have been nice, I reward naughty people… I get them as many presents as their horny hearts might desire. But you, amore, you are a special case because I want to try all these presents with you, right now.” There it is, that is what all of this was about, but you cannot complain. In fact, you are eager to follow along. The only proof that you need to know that you are going to enjoy this is Primo’s almost erect cock pressing on your butt.

“Really? Presents? For me?” You question with and innocent tone and doe eyes.

“Of course, I couldn’t leave my amore without presents…” Primo says as he leans down and grabs a medium size package, handing it to you with a toothy grin. “Open it!”

With shaky hands you tear the paper, the butterflies in your stomach becoming more intense when the first present is revealed: a couple of red puffy handcuffs.

“Primo? What-?” The question dies on you as he suddenly puts his lips on top of yours, kissing you fervently, his tongue entering your mouth, taking advantage of your surprised expression. His hands go directly to your back, holding you in place and yours travel to the back of his neck, leaving the box over your lap, toying with his platinum locks as he greedily explores your mouth.

“Amore, these presents are not my gift to you. Today, my gift to you is immeasurable pleasure. You are going to cum over and over on top of me, and I am not going to stop until I know that you are completely and utterly satisfied.” Primo says as he parts from you, his voice a whisper against your lips, and you gulp hard. “Do you want that, mio sole?”

“I do, please, Primo… I want it all.” You breath and he hums.

“Bene” With haste, Primo takes the box from your lap and opens it, revealing a pair of cute puffy handcuffs. They are red, which you feel he choose because of the holidays, to pair with his outfit. Discarding the box to the side he holds your sides and motions for you to stand up. “This is the only time you are going to stand up until we finish with this amore…” The look on his eyes is of pure lust, if he was undressing you before, now he is fucking you with his gaze. “Be good, undress for me.” Primo says, spreading his legs so you can see the bulge on his pants.”

Without a word, every piece of clothing gets discarded to the floor. Primo groans as he looks at you, grabbing his crotch to offer some comfort to his aching cock. He was sure that he was going to be hard during the whole ordeal, but he didn’t take into account how the dominance of it all was going to make him so fucking desperate to fuck you. Today, however, is all about your pleasure. He will find a way later to ease the need.

In a couple of minutes you are completely bare before him, the heat from the chimney not doing much as your nipples get rock hard in the winter cold. Primo eyes you up and down, his chest rising and falling slowly. A few seconds later he motions for you to get close and resume your previous position on his lap. Once settled he shows you the cuffs, opens them and lets you touch them.

“I want this to be pleasurable for you, my dear. If you don’t feel good or you want me to stop, please let me know, sì?” You nod with a smile, trying to look calm but you can feel yourself vibrating. The feeling of Primo’s hand on your back, the texture of the velvety suit all over your naked body and his breath hitting your neck are driving you insane. And he hasn’t done anything to you! “Arms back, amore, I am going to cuff you up.” Obediently, your hands are set comfortably at the low of your back, almost touching your ass. The cuffs restrain your movements but you don’t feel them tight, they are quite nice actually, the synthetic hair that covers them softens the rigidness of the metal and you appreciate that Primo has chosen this pair in particular. “Now that you are tied up you cannot open your presents, so I hope you don’t mind if I do it for you?” Primo asks with a grin.

“It is okay… I don’t mind.” It comes out in a whisper, almost out of breath as your chest rises and falls in anticipation. The power that he holds right now is making you feel so vulnerable, so small under him, but you love it.

Primo grabs another present, a bit larger this time. Setting it on your lap and tearing the paper. This time the present is a clitoral sucker. There is no pause as he gets the second toy out of its box.

“Papa, those toys come without charge, you know that right?” You ask teasingly.

“Good thing then that I charged every single one of them before I wrapped them, huh amoruccio?” ‘He is really committed, dear Satanas’ you think. ‘There is no escape from this one.’

Without warning he starts kissing your neck, licking that same spot you had dreamed about minutes earlier, now feeling absolutely real. His tongue is so hot, so wet and you regret having your hands tied up as you cannot touch him at all. As best as you can you wiggle to get closer to his body but he stops kissing you.

“Sì, be naughty if you want your present my love…” You face finds the crook of his neck and suddenly a click sound makes you jump slightly. With his free hand, Primo parts your legs and makes you recline slightly so he can have better access to your already dripping cunt. “Stay still.” You turn slightly to see the humming toy approach the place where you need it most. Your forehead is pressed against Primo’s neck, the anticipation building your arousal until he places the sucker to your clit.

The vibrations shake you instantly, the pressure to your clit immediately traveling through your entire body. Your legs feel like gelatin and you know you won’t be able to hold your first orgasm for long. The intense tightening of your abdomen getting more and more difficult to handle as the sucker deals with the bundle of pure lust in between your legs.

“Caro, please, if you don’t stop- ah- I am- I- am going to cum so fast, please… AH-” The scorching heat inside of your dreads to escape so quickly but Primo grabs your side, the feeling of the leather soothing you but doing nothing you alleviate the tension building up inside of you.

“I need to cum, Primo, please, let me cum, don’t take it away, please…”

“That cannot be, we have so many things to try… This was only the appetizer…” As the sentence is finished he takes the sucker from your clit, making you launch yourself forward seeking the contact of it. Gently, Primo holds you and leaves the toy on the floor, grabbing another package. You pant, the air does not stay in your lungs for long and Primo chuckles. “So worked up already huh? Hope you can take all my presents mio sole…”

Slowly, tearing up the paper once more of an even larger package, the third present is revealed before your eyes: a vibrating wand. Your mouth waters, the aching in your core needing it desperately and involuntarily your hips thrust forward, but you cannot move that much more being as restrained as you are. No words are uttered this time, Primo knows what you need and he is going to give it you. Once it is on, he gets the wand closer to your core, not touching it, but looking at it you can feel the vibrations all through you.

“Primo, please. I need it. Please, per favore, make me cum…” You shift slightly, rubbing his erect member, teasing as much as you can so he gives it to you already, but the plan doesn’t go as planned when he withdraws the toy from the proximity of your core.

“I told you to be naughty, not a teaser my dear. In the end, I am the one bestowing these gifts to you, you need to treat me good, sì?” Tears form in your eyes and you nod.

“Yes, I am sorry, I’ll be good.”

“Davvero? Then moan for me, my love…” Suddenly, the wand is pressed against your clit without a warning. The vibrations stronger than before, the tightening in your abdomen quickly approaching as you moan for your lover.

“Primo, ah- ah- fuck! So good! Don’t stop please, don’t- I- I am going to cum! Please keep-keep going, ah- fuck, fuck, fuck-”

“Do it for me my dear, cum now for your Papa…” and oh Satanas, you do, so hard. Your whole body spams on top of him and you involuntarily rub your ass against his hardness, making him moan as well. “Cazzo, my love, that was powerful… you feel so good on top of me, fuck!”

Trying to regain your breath, Primo turns off the toy and leaves it next to the sucker. Immediately after another package is on his hands while you try to compose yourself back.

“This is a special one, we haven’t tried something like this before, but you are going to look so good with it on…” He says, breaking the paper on top of your lap once more.

The toy in front of you is not familiar to you, but the form tells you everything you need to know. The picture in the box shows a necklace supporting two chains that end on some type of pincers, and you blush instantly. He takes it out and puts the velvety choker around your neck as if it were the most beautiful diamond necklace. Then, he grabs the two pincers and shows them to you.

“These won’t hurt, but if you feel too uncomfortable, please, let me know.”

“Okay…” You say in a low tone, almost embarrassed of how easily Primo can make you tremble so much while being so gentle with you.

“MMMMMMMMM!!!” you hiss from the contact in pleasure as he pinches one of your nipples, rubbing your core against his leg in response, coating it all with your juices. His eyes go wide open, he had never heard you moan like that. Then, he goes for the other and now you scream from how the pinch-y feeling on your very sensitive nips is making you want to choke on Primo’s cock. The pressure feels so nice against your swollen nips, but you need so much fucking more. You continue rubbing yourself on the velvety fabric of Primo’s pants, chasing your pleasure once again. Primo lets you move briefly, the chains around your chest and your reddened nipples have him hypnotized, how they hug your body, how the metal slaps your skin and gets stuck where you are sweating. The beads of sweat mixing with the shinning metal and the swollen and slightly bruised skin, all that combined with your desperate motions and sounds…. he wants to fuck you senseless, no, he needs it. You are his present and you just got a nice little bow to go along how fucking sinful you look right now. His cock rubs slightly against your ass and he doesn’t stop you this time, he needs some type of relief, but he doesn’t want to be greedy. This is entirely about you, he remembers, so he reconsiders and grabs your shoulders, stopping you instantly.

“Cuore mio, as much as I would like to fuck you until you could not move for a few days, e credimi, lo voglio, cazzo… This is about you…”

He is so cute, he really wants to prioritize your pleasure, but you have other plans. You don’t really want to do have all the fun alone, even if he is the one administrating your pleasure, Christmas is about sharing after all.

“Give me another present, I crave it. I need to cum again… Primo please…”

“Peccaminoso Satana, I am going to give you everything you need…” Primo grabs present number five and tears the paper without hesitation. This time it is a normal bullet vibrator.

“This one is just to get you ready for the rest, love, we won’t be using it as much…”

As Primo gets the vibrator closer to your opening you cannot avoid the shiver that runs through your spine. The over stimulation of your first orgasm still sending waves of pleasure and spasms all over your body. Involuntarily, trying to avoid the contact with the toy, you wiggle backwards on Primo’s lap. Noticing your sudden attempt to flee he tightens his grab around you, keeping you in place.

“Love, you have to be brave. It was only one orgasm… I know by experience that you can give me more. Per favore, permettimi di farti venire…” There is no need for you to understand what he is saying because you know and your core twitches in delight, the over stimulation from before turning once again into the need to be filled and taken care of. So, silently you buckle your hips forward once more to the same position as before, your cuffed hands pressing on Primo’s thigh, making him shiver under you. He is so desperate for any type of pressure that the sightless touch from his amore makes him jump.

Accepting your fate, you fold your knees and spread your legs open, letting your cunt free for Primo to see. From his position, he can see your folds glistening, your clit engorged and red and your entrance so deliciously looking, so ready to be fucked. Primo licks his lips, he is so thirsty for you, he just wants to put his face between your legs and eat you out like the most delicious Christmas feast. Then, he catches you looking at him with puppy eyes, you have been left there waiting, how rude of him, he couldn’t never deny you anything.

Primo opens his legs slightly so your butt leans on the more than spacious throne’s cushion, which makes you fall back, but thankfully Primo’s gloved hand pushes on your back slightly, placing itself on the broad of it. When he looks at you for confirmation for him to continue you nod, and he guides the bullet dildo to your entrance. When it finally goes in, it opens your folds with a wet sound that makes you moan. The toy isn’t specially big, but its coldness, the pressure on your nipples and your previous orgasm makes it feel so fucking good. Primo follows a rhythmic pattern in and out, in and out, your core sucking in the toy with ease… maybe too much ease. You need something much bigger, Primo thinks, something that opens you up just like his cock does.

With a pop sound, Primo gets the dildo out of you and in return you mewl sweetly, begging for its return. You are so horny, all this teasing, this denial, the anticipation and even the slight feeling of despair, it is making you so fucking horny. You just want to be fucked over and over and over and over.

As if reading your mind, Primo gets another present, the biggest yet. He catches you looking at it and rises the still wrapped package. As he does so, you take notice of a folded piece of the wrapping paper that hangs loosely. Straightening your back and using only your teeth, you grab the paper and go down, tearing it open with your mouth. Primo observes attentively, his aching cock more and more in need of attention. Waves of memories come back to him of you using your mouth so sweetly and skillfully on his leaking shaft. He thanks the Dark Lord every single day for bringing you into his life, filling every single aspect of his life with your light and your warmth, you are his sole after all, and he will ache for you forever.

The next present is a bunny vibrator, also red, Primo has really committed to the holiday theme. Your mouth waters, so ready to feel what Primo has to offer. As a token of your appreciation you kiss him, hot and sloppily, trying not to fall from your position and he reciprocates eagerly. Every movement you do, every look, every moan it is driving him closer to the edge, and now… this…

While kissing you, he positions the dildo to your entrance, getting the clitoral vibrator also in its place. When he turns it on you moan in his mouth, clenching your hands on his thigh, feeling the waves of shock on your swollen clit. Primo takes the chance of your open mouth to bite your bottom lip and enter you with the dildo at the same time and, oh, you could die right there and then and thank Satan for this wonderful gift of lust.

“FUCKING HELL, PRIMO! l-love! It is so good! ah, mmmm” You scream once he let off your lip. The wet sounds of your walls sucking the dildo are music to Primo’s ears. This is exactly what he wanted and yet… he feels like a fucking selfish bastard for wanting you to make those sounds because of his cock, not some toy. The whole point of this was to pleasure you, but he can do that himself. Now he feels a bit distraught, so he is not going to stop until you beg to be fucked by him, no matter how long it takes.

He doesn’t know, but that is what you want as well, you love how he is making you feel, how much he cares about your pleasure, but you also need him so deep inside you. “Aah, ah, ah, AGH AGH!” You scream with each pound into your core, every thrust deeper than the last. It doesn’t get as deep as Primo’s dick, but it is doing its job nonetheless.

“I am going to cum, holy shit, fuck, fuck, Primo-” He is about to loose it, your ass is grinding his cock, and he might cum just because of that. “Please, oh shit, oh fuck, fuck me, please fucking fuck me I need your cock, fuck!” You almost cry, the chains on your chest hitting your sweaty chest, your arms starting to go numb, it is all too much.

“I need to fuck you too, mio sole. But be good, cum for me first, sì? I want to see your pussy clenching this fucking toy mhm? Think it is my cock, then I will give you the real deal.” The need for him to fuck you sends you into a powerful orgasm, one that Primo guides with the toy, putting more pleasure on your clit, making you even squirt all over his pants.

“Cuore mio, così fottutamente peccaminoso, ti scoperò finché non lo farai intorno al mio cazzo.” He whispers with a grave voice that makes you dizzy. You are spent, your orgasm hitting you so hard that you even regret slightly having asked Primo for more, because as you begin to breath normally once again he picks you up as best as he can and sits you on the throne. Not only that, but he unleashes your hands for a second before asking you to rise them over your head. With your limbs hurting you do as he says, grabbing the top part of the throne, and right there Primo locks your hands together again with the pink cuffs. Once you are settled, you observe a couple of unopened presents around you. Wow, you are really THAT horny for each other, huh?

“I need to see you, see the mess that you have made just for me…” Your legs hurt, everything hurts, but the need for Primo wins every single time. As best as you can you spread your legs open, letting them hang over the armrests of the throne. There, he sees your beautiful cunt, swollen, glistening with your release and he kneels there, smelling your juices. He is so fucking hard, but first he needs this, he needs his mouth on you, to taste how sweet your nectar is.

Primo dives right in, his hands at each of your legs, supporting your effort. His hooked nose bruises your clit in the most delicious way, and even if your body feels so tired, with a couple of licks from his skilled tongue you can feel the tightness in your belly starting to build up again. He drinks from you, his face pure lust as he looks at you, lost in your own pleasure, and you wonder how he is holding without touching his erection. He won’t strain from his path, right now being lost in your perfectly sweet cunt.

“Love, please, I need you buried inside of me, give me your cock, scoparmi… per favore, caro…” He needs nothing more. As a man possessed, Primo gets up on his feet and with a dark look starts to work on his pants, still drenched with your arousal and his paints messed from your juices, some of them probably staining your thighs and folds. A satisfied moan escapes his lips as the air of the room hits his cock. Right then you realize how bad he must feel. His dick is so red and swollen, the precum drenching his whole length, glistening like a melting popsicle waiting for a hungry mouth to suck on it.

“Quando lucifero creò il peccato della carne essi pensarono al tuo corpo e ai molti modi in cui poteva essere adorato. Sto per godermi di nuovo il suo dono come se fosse la prima volta, tutto per me.” He groans in quick Italian and you moan in return. You don’t understand a word but, by Satan, does it turn you on when he is so lost in his carnal desire that all that comes out is Italian praises and curses.

“Caro, please, please…”

“Come si desidera…” And with that he aligns himself, hissing from the contact with your cunt “Così fottutamente bagnato, così caldo…” and he goes in with a single motion, slowly, enjoying how your walls clench around his length. All the time he had been outside from you while you enjoyed your present it was killing him, he realizes that now. His place is inside of you, beside you, always with you, nowhere else.

He bottoms in, hitting your cervix on the first try.

“Fucking hell, dear Lucifer… please, oh, please!” You don’t know what you are asking for at this point.

“Dammi un altro, so che puoi farlo, un altro per il tuo Papa” Primo starts to move at a quick pace, he knows he isn’t going to take him long to become undone and he also knows you will be undone soon as well.

There are no words between you now, just pure horny nonsense and the sound of skin against skin, wet and hot and fucking pornographic. Your hands hurt, your knuckles turn white from the grip on the throne and your head goes backwards, your eyes following to the back of your head. Primo grabs your thighs and rises your lower part, your back arching in a very uncomfortable way, but you don’t mind, this way he has a better angle.

He knows how to fuck you so well and you take it the same way, the stretch of your walls making you scream his name over and over so you just open your mouth in awe and close your eyes, lost in pure bliss.

“C-cum for me, mio sole. I am so close too, so… fucking… agh… close.”

With that there is no way of stopping your impending climax, and you do, once again squirting violently around his length. Primo pumps in and out of you, getting his cock almost out of you with every single thrust as he reaches his own orgasm then, his cum mixing with your own release, ropes of his seed flying to your stomach and ever your chest.

“Cazzo! So fucking perfect for me, the- the most perfect creature in the entire world…fuck……..”

Once he is done, Primo falls forward, letting go of your legs but still inside of you, his length going soft. Both your breaths are uneven, you are specially tired after so many earth-shattering orgasms. Sleep catching up quickly with you even in your uncomfortable possition. When Primo takes notice of you almost falling asleep from pure exhaustion, he collects himself, sets you free and lets the chain around your chest fall to the ground, making you groan as thanks, coherent words impossible to be formed right now.

Gently, he grabs your naked form, pulls you to your feet and accompanies you to your shared bathroom where he draws a warm bath to clean you whole. The steam and the warmth calm your aching muscles, making you almost fall asleep right there, but Primo doesn’t let you. He washes you, every single sore part treated with the upmost care and you thank the very day you met him because he is the best present you could have ever gotten. Clearly, he thinks the same as he tucks you into bed, kissing your cheek, looking at you with such love and affection, wishing nothing more than to spend the rest of his life by your side.

----

Italian translations:

amore: love

il suo fiore preferito: his favourite flower

mio sole: my sun

Davvero?: really?

Cuore mio: my heart

amoruccio: my little love

mi dispiace: I’m sorry

bene: good

e credimi, lo voglio, cazzo: and believe me, I fucking want that

peccaminoso Satana: sinful Satan

Per favore, permettimi di farti venire: Please, allow me to make you cum

così fottutamente peccaminoso, ti scoperò finché non lo farai intorno al mio cazzo: so fucking sinful, I am going to fuck you until you do that around my cock

scoparmi… per favore, caro: fuck me, please, dear

Quando Lucifero creò il peccato della carne essi pensarono al tuo corpo e ai molti modi in cui poteva essere adorato. Sto per godermi di nuovo il suo dono come se fosse la prima volta, tutto per me, sempre così buono per me: When Lucifer created the sin of the flesh they thought about your body and the many ways it could be adored. I am about to enjoy his gift once again as if it was the first time, all for me.

come si desidera: as you wish

così fottutamente bagnato, così caldo: so fucking wet, so hot

dammi un altro, so che puoi farlo, un altro per il tuo Papa: give me one more, I know you can do it, one more for your Papa

----

Taglist:

@megachaoticstupid @eternal-kosmo-ghoul @stephnthangss @sacred-coffin @her-satanic-wiles @bitchywitchygardener @da-rulah @m0rbidmacabre @fxnofthxngs @foxybouquet @oh-my-beel @allthisandtea @st4rving4in @deetz-ghuleh @redthefieryginger @sodoswitchimage @discountdemonwarehouse @molly-ghuleh @ghulehunknown @thew0man @megachaoticstupid @eternal-kosmo-ghoul @stephnthangss @the-did-i-ask

Please remember that if you I'll be tagging you on the rebblogs for my the fics of my mates so you don't miss anything, lots of love

[mielwriting]

My thoughts on the 5.0 livestream

Disappointed Mavuika appears to be another pyro claymore. Was really hoping for a 5 star pyro sword. Would also help make connections to Bennett, since he's the only other pyro sword.

Props to those who predicted Il Capitano would be a cryo user!

Also props to whoever predicted the Archon Quests would follow the pattern shown in the Mond prologue: that is, first we learn about the Abyss Order as enemies, then we focus on the Fatui for a while, then the Abyss Order comes back into focus closer to the final showdown. It seems they’re getting a much bigger focus in the Natlan archon quest!

Also, wow, so we already know Natlan and Mondstadt have weird connections - Now we know they have another one: Natlan and Mondstadt are the only 2 nations the Abyss Order is interested in. 

Hey look a pale npc with dreadlocks

Love the greater focus on the Mandarin language! Very nice for a learner

Furina wasn’t biologically an archon, so her hair didn’t glow - she had that glowy fabric in the back of her outfit to kinda hide that. Mavuika is a really nice contrast - her entire head of hair glows very bright! Not just the tips like previous archons

Was noticeable how they reframed the player feedback: “everyone’s very interested in our inspirations for Natlan” as a corporate translation of everyone’s anger over the whitewashing and Spirit Halloween-ifying

Still disappointed in the pyro archon’s leather biker suit

Someone more familiar with Genshin’s music look into this - but around 34:10 when they started answering the question “will someone be resurrected” does the music resemble more the music from La Signora’s funeral video?

Wonder about the original Mandarin titles for the Archon Quest acts - Because “Flowers Resplendent on the Sun-Scorched Sojourn” sounds so cool - and then Act 2 is “Black Stone under a White Stone”. It’s just comically simple compared to the big words that are usually in genshin titles

Also really interested in the Ancient Names thing. I’m almost certain it’s something taken from a real-life culture, and should really research more into that. 

Did I understand that right? They’re gonna give us Kachina for free, just like we got Amber and Kaeya and Lisa back in Mondstadt? 

All 3 of the new 5.0 characters mark regional specialties, and also have additional exploration benefits!

Wow you can really see the effect that Wuthering Waves had on Genshin

And Test Run finally lets you test out the effects of the characters in an open-world environment!

Traveler will not get the pyro element this update - but it sounds like that’s a possibility for once the Archon Quest has finished?

So I noticed that the 2 new Geo characters we’ll get - Kachina  and the tall lady - both come from the same tribe - the one associated with rocks and such. Makes me wonder if it’s possible to even get a vision that doesn’t correspond to your tribe’s element. 

Really seems like the cultural elements here are more simplified “everyone in this tribe loves music” “everyone in this tribe loves extreme sports” “everyone in this tribe loves mining” where’s the complexity. 

I shall add capybaras to my teapot!

Yay another Dodoco event! I really enjoyed the one last year

They’re also giving out extra rewards for completing archon and story quests within the 6 week release - including giving us a lot of the ascension materials to get to level 60!

Did find it funny when one guy was explaining all the new benefits and the other is like, “wait, this is Genshin Impact? All this cool stuff is in Genshin Impact?” Like yeah Wuthering Waves bred innovation!

FREE STANDARD FIVE STAR EVERY YEAR

I already have Tighnari, Dehya, and Keqing. I don’t really want any of their constellations, so my choice is between Qiqi, Mona, Jean, and Diluc. I don’t want Qiqi, and I don’t need Mona since I already have Furina. It’s down to Jean or Diluc. Jean’s ability to push people away looks really fun, and I can certainly think of places where I would’ve loved to have that skill. However, I have wanted Diluc since the very first time we played him in that trial run during the Mond archon quest. I also already have Kaeya, Rosaria, and Venti, so completing the Angel’s Share team would be cool. My only hesitation is that his gameplay will probably be outdone by Mavuika. But leaks have said she might not release til January, when I was expecting her in November (however leaks also said Emilie was part of Hexenzirkel they aren’t always right).

Love that Oratrice Mechanique d’Analyse Cardinale made it into the stream

BEFORE Khoi Dao repeated that phrase, I did not know he spoke French. But I could hear his actual good French-speaking accent when he said it, and turns out he does indeed speak it! Cool!

Yippee!

Zach Aguilar and Khoi Dao are a great comedic duo

LOVE to hear Brittany Lauda talk about relating to her character, Chiori, for both being seen as intimidating - I specifically relate to Chiori for her basic facial expressions, her bluntness, her acceptance of her quirks, and difficulty making friends because of those traits. Just really glad to hear I’m not the only one. 

The English voice actor for Lumine actually has a twin brother?! 

Amber Lee Conners appeared at the end of the stream, so this is a good place to say how AMAZING her voice acting as Furina is. Just listening to her voice lines and hearing the difference between her acting confident and her actual, recovering-from-depression self is a clear display of talent. Always a treat to listen to. 

Jenny Yokobori (Yoimiya VA) having worked as a pyrotechnician! Cool! 

And her sharing the bond with her character for their dads. So sweet.

Let Erika Harlacher-Stone sing as Venti more!

The Clorinda VA Crystal Lee also loves Tabletop Games!

[vroombeams]

Blindfold + blowjob x Carcar... If it interests you whatsoever? 👀 Totally fair if not!

It doesn't matter how they got here.

It doesn't matter how Oscar's ended up on his knees, on the floor, in the dark. He doesn't know where the blindfold came from, only that it's silky-smooth against his face, catching on his lashes when he blinks.

Nothing matters anymore, really, except for Carlos Sainz looming somewhere in front of him.

Oscar can hear him approach but he doesn't say a word, so neither does Oscar. It's better this way; Carlos almost certainly thinks of himself as, like, extremely straight. If Oscar speaks it'll ruin the illusion that he's surely made up for himself, that maybe Oscar's a girl instead of, well. Oscar.

It might be a bit funny. Ruining it for Carlos, the way Carlos loves to ruin things for Oscar all the time anyway.

It's not a surprise when Carlos rubs his wet tip over Oscar's lips, but it still makes him jolt.

He forces himself to recover quick; his mouth falls open. He lets his tongue slip out, rests it on his bottom lip in what would be a welcoming way if he were any other person, probably. Oscar wonders if Carlos is looking at his mouth like it's a warm, plush place to fuck, or if he senses the danger. Like Oscar's a flytrap, mouth open and inviting and waiting for an opportunity to clamp shut.

Carlos rubs his dick over his tongue but he still doesn't push inside. It's got to be a claiming thing, Oscar thinks. Marking his territory, getting the tip of his cock spit-wet, dripping salt-bursts of precome as he goes.

Oscar could push it. He could lean into it, suck Carlos into his mouth, get this over with.

He's not exactly inclined to do any work for Carlos fucking Sainz.

When Carlos finally does push inside, Oscar has to grudgingly admit that he's not unimpressively thick. He stretches Oscar's lips wide, jaw popping when he opens wider to accept it. He pushes in slow at first. Like he's actually going to let Oscar get used to it, or maybe he's just trying to make a point. Letting Oscar feel all of it before he really starts using him.

Oscar clenches his fists against his thighs. He makes a noise that hopefully translates to get on with it, then.

When Carlos does start to fuck his mouth, it's not careful. So Oscar's not going to be careful either.

If Carlos is going to shove his cock in all the way, knocking against the back of Oscar's throat, Oscar's not going to bother keeping his teeth out of the way. If Carlos is going to grab his hair, flippant, tight, then Oscar's going to let his teeth drag over his shaft on the outstroke.

All it does is make Carlos' grip tighter. When Oscar's front teeth catch on the head of his dick, Carlos pulls hard enough that there's a burst of dizzy colour in the dark behind the blindfold, and Oscar grunts, and Carlos pulls harder.

He says something in Spanish that Oscar could probably understand if he were listening. It's almost definitely something insulting.

It's a bit funny, Oscar thinks idly. The way that Carlos is panting and muttering to himself. Like he's already so close to coming, cock twitching, rigid and insistent against the back of Oscar's throat.

Hilariously, he does come, literally ten seconds later. It's a struggle not to laugh while he's swallowing. Didn't know you were such a quickshot, Sainz.

It's too good of an opportunity to pass up, when Carlos pulls out with a weird, shuddery little groan.

"Shame you're not this fast on track."

[schumachersricciardo]

Shiver

Chapter Six - You’re All I’ve Ever Known

♡ Mick Schumacher x Reader, Best friend!Danny Ricc x reader

♡ TW: Swearing, inaccurate timeline of F1/F2/F3, badly translated German using Google, blood/injuries (not graphic, but there is are mentions of it!), i forgot how many days elapsed between scenes bc i wrote this in like two days. so ya know ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. INACCURATE DESCRIPTIONS OF ENGLAND???? I literally made up street names and i think a school, so don’t come for me. I’m just a girl. plus i’m american so like we already have enough on our plates. Ummm slight kidnapping vibes??? very inaccurate and probably wrong medical talk.

♡ She/Her pronouns are used, nothing descriptive about reader except that her hair is long enough to pull back into a ponytail or braid, no reader insert, timeline skips. ALSO: WARNING!!!! I will barely be mentioning Michael Schumacher. I do not presume to know what he is thinking, or would say in these fictional scenarios. I am trying to be respectful of their privacy and not make any assumptions!!!!!! He will be mentioned here and there, but I do not believe any dialogue will be associated with him. If you do not like that, then do not read it. :)

♡ 6.3k words

♡A/N: Again, posting this on mobile and will format it when i get back from work! sorry it’s a day late. yesterday was very bad lol ok love u bye

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

It seemed like there was never going to be an end to the poking, the prodding, and testing on your body. Everyday, there was to be a new test or a repeat of an old one to be done. On top of already having been in the hospital for more than two weeks now, your memory was still not coming back to you. Sometimes someone would say something and if it as if your brain knew the memory tied to it, but it couldn’t relay it to your voice fast enough to recollect it. You didn’t know what was worse at this point:

“No, no threes. Go fish.” Your Uncle Sebastian echoed, stopping your train of thought.

Trying to focus your eyes, you looked at the pile of cards in front of you and drew another one.

“Do you… Have any… sixes?”

The four time champion just smiled and slid over some of his cards. You neatly made a pile of your finished “sixes” cards. Moments later, there was a slight knock on the door before it slowly pushed open towards the two of you.

“Hi, Mrs. Schumacher. It’s good to you see you again.”

So here’s the thing - You had been called that many times now. Almost every nurse and doctor has called you that… And since you had no room to counter, you never corrected them. Who knows? Maybe you and Mick actually got married after high school like the two of you talked about. And as weird as it was for you to be called that… It certainly felt right and didn’t make you feel uncomfortable - which of course made things curious and curioser.

“Mrs.… Schumacher??” Sebastian Vettel put his cards down and eyed the nurse and the doctor. There was a look on their faces that you couldn’t quite place.

“So sorry, no,” The doctor began correcting his mistake. He finally addressed you by your first and last name. “I’m sorry, again. Mr. Schumacher is your medical proxy and I forget that those in fact, do not have to be spouses.”

The doctor nervously chuckled as he prepared various medicinal instruments. It would happened two times a day where they’d check your cognitive function and your response to stimuli. Sometimes you’d say things that were a memory, but moments later you forget you said that. You even had times where Mick was in the same room, and you had forgotten who he was so you called him… Pleading for him to come back and comfort you.

He was the only constant in your life.

The doctor and nurses finished their exam and let you get back to your card game. You had no memory of the man who sat across from you, even though he said he was like family to Mick and that he knew you when you were little. He’d tell you stories about his time in Formula One, and how he’s focused on sustainability now and finding new hobbies. You truly were delighted in the presence of this man, but deep down inside you wished that Mick were there.

He had some press releases to do, as his racing came to halt when you crashed out in Silverstone. He was planning on racing the last 5 races as you were getting better now. Well, physically. Your leg was almost ready to be put in a regular soft cast once the rods would be removed. Your arm was out of its cast completely, and it seemed like your ribs and spine were doing okay. It was just your dumb brain that needing fixing.

“You alright?” Soon, Sebastian’s voice pulled you out of your endless thinking. “We can stop, if you’d like. I think you are beating me, anyway.”

Silently, you put down your cards and pushed the tray that was on wheels aside. You didn’t know what was coming over you. You felt an immense sadness and regret, but you didn’t know why. You were lost. Having your memories stripped of you is such a cruel fate… You rather have just not survived.

“I’m not good enough for him.” You plainly stated.

Sebastian blinked a few times as he put down his playing cards as well. He took a deep breath and tried his best to comfort you.

“Why do you say that? He’s been here every day since you crashed.” Sebastian’s tone was cautious, but caring.

“i mean… Look at me? I have rods sticking out of my leg… And I can’t remember shit. It’s pathetic.”

The former F1 didn’t have a response. He couldn’t imagine what you were going through, let alone the both of you. He just gently reassured you with a grasp of his hand on yours. Before you knew it, even his thoughts were halted by someone entering your hospital room.

“Hello, ma’am, I’m Nurse Elsie.” The brunette nurse beamed at you, and took the clipboard off of the end of the bed. “Do you remember who I am?” Her British accent was thick… You couldn’t place from where though.

You paused and did your best to remember someone named Elsie.

“You-You were there when I first woke up… And you were telling me to stay calm…”

The nurse’s expression immediately turned. Complete surprise and bliss overtook her as she grinned at you and Sebastian. She grabbed your hands ever so softly and opened her mouth to speak.

“Yes, that’s correct! I was here the day you came in, and I haven’t left since.” It truly warmed your heart to see someone that hardworking have some sense of relief. “And I am glad you’re speaking English again!”

“Was… I not before?” Your eyebrows furrowed and your focused shifted to Sebastian. He pressed his lips in a tight line, debating if he should answer for you when Mick wasn’t there.

Clearing his throat, he straightened his posture and exhaled.

“When you first woke up, you were only speaking in German. Mick had to translate for you for a while, until you felt comfortable enough to speak English again.” Vettel calmly responds, his hand scratching at the stubble on his jawline. You nodded along while he explained a few more things to you.

About twenty minutes later after another few tests were done, you were absolutely exhausted. You tucked yourself into the hospital bed with one of Mick’s blankets added to the pile for extra warmth. His scent was wearing off of the blanket as you pulled it up to your chin. Mick was familiar to you, and to your feelings - Yet, part of him remained a stranger. He was older, well you both were now.

He was not the shy little school boy anymore, but a confident young man. His muscles had grown noticeably and his hair was long, like you liked it. His jawline had formed into sharp corners where it meets his ears, as opposed to the chubby faced kid who would ride his bike alongside you and hold your hand in crowded places so you wouldn’t get lost. On the other hand and maybe the stronger one at that, you didn’t recognize him at all. Sure, he looked like Mick and sounded like him… But there was a piece missing to the dynamic between the two of you that you couldn’t quite place.

When he would be in the hospital room with you, it was almost as if he was treating you with a fragility that was completely peculiar to the way your foggy memory could recall him treating you. He was always kind and always held a special tenderness for you, that much you could remember… But be that as it may, he was handling you now with a delicate hand - so afraid of breaking you further. You couldn’t tell from where you sat if it was because of your injuries that he was being extra careful around you, or because there was something he wasn’t telling you.

“Knock, Knock.” The familiar voice of another doctor entered your stumbling train of thought as they entered your room. Sebastian stood to greet her and shake her hand.

“How are you feeling today, ma’am?” You shrugged and mumbled something incoherent. “Right then! My name is Doctor Wells. I’m the Chief of Neurology, and have been following your case closely.”

You honestly were having a tough time keeping all these doctors and nurses straight in your head, that you thought adding one more to the list might make you explode. But still - you politely greeted her as you told her your name.

“You’ve been making great progress physically, it seems. Your leg will be moved to a soft cast in two days time, and then in about a month, we’ll x-ray your leg to see when we would take that cast off, but again, it’s looking good.” The doctor smiled as her green eyes scanned the clipboard in front of her.

She began to hum to yourself as she jotted down some notes. You immediately noticed it, and Sebastian immediately noticed you. It was as though you couldn’t breathe all of a sudden and you had no clue as to why. Your monitors began to beep at a rapid rate, while the voices around you were telling you things but you couldn’t hear them. All you could hear was a loud, sharp and lasting ringing in your eyes as you sobbed. Soon, you felt the calming medicine go through your IV and settle your heart rate. It took a few more minutes to gain your bearings.

“Es tut mir Leid (I’m sorry).” You breathed out as you laid back down trying to get comfortable again.

Sebastian excused himself to go make a phone call, assuring you that he’d be back in a few minutes.

“That’s quite alright. Your body has been through a lot these last few weeks.” Dr. Wells smiled at you with an overwhelming aura of reassurance. She took a beat, and pulled up her rolling stool next to your bedside. “May I ask what I did to trigger that reaction? I want to know so I won’t do it again.”

You turned your head to meet her gaze, her eyes filled with worry and sympathy. You tried your best to think about the answer to her question. She could practically hear the gears turning in your head while you attempted to pinpoint what it was that upset you.

“The humming… When you hummed… It… I don’t know - did something to me.” Dr. Wells nodded in response and promise that she wouldn’t do it again. “Can I ask you a question, Dr. Wells?”

“Anything at all.”

You moved your hospital bed up so you could sit up and see the doctor better. You had very little to go on, but what you could go off of confidently was people’s expressions and the way their faces moved when they spoke to you.

“What are my chances of getting my memory back, and if I don’t… What do I do?” In turn, your facial expression was desperate, reeking of hopelessness and despair. She could see the devastation the accident has brought you, as it seeped out of the pores of your skin and infected your surroundings.

“Well, you’re making good progress and you remember Nurse Elsie which is a great sign… And the fact that you still know who Mick is a great sign,” Dr. Wells began slowly. “But, we really won’t know the extent of the damage the crash took, especially in regard to your memory. All your brain scans have thus far been clean, with no cause for concern.”

You started to feel tears brimming in your eyes as you bit your bottom lip to try and stifle back your cries. Shakily, you let out whatever air you had left in your lungs now.

“Sometimes things like this just happen and we don’t know why… But what we do know is that memories can always be created. You may not be able to remember the ones you had previously, but you can always replace them with new ones, better ones even.”

The pair of you talked for a few minutes more about your situation and how best to help it. She gave you some flyers for support groups and some numbers for therapists that specialize in what you were going through. She checked your vitals once more before heading towards the door and exiting, smiling a courteous smile as she disappeared into the vast hospital.

On the rare occasion you were left alone in your room, you liked to write things down in a notebook Mick gave you. It was your favorite color, with a giant ‘MSC47’ sticker on it. You had asked him what that was and he told you it was his racing number. To that, you asked why he didn’t put your racing number… And in response to that, he sheepishly admitted that it slipped his mind to put your number, but he was glad you always had a reminder of him. You didn’t even notice you were reminiscing until you caught yourself stroking the sticker on the front of your notebook. Blinking a few times to clear your mind, you opened it up to the next free page only to see that someone really tried not to write in their typical chicken scratch.

Smidge,

If you are reading this, then I must be away doing some press related things. I wish I did not have to, but duty calls and I also think Toto would come to my house and drag me there himself (in a very nice way, of course). Anyway, I wanted to write you a short note and let you know that I will be back soon, and hopefully you will be coming home after that. I have rented a place out here for you and me that will be sufficient enough until you decide where you want to fully rest and recover. We can go back to your apartment in Italy or to one of my family’s cottages in Switzerland. I would even take you back to the states to find respite at my ranch in Texas, but I know you do not have fond memories of Texas. I want to do only what you are comfortable with, Schätzen.

As for my last few races, I am on the lookout for the best home care nurse I can find while I am away. Sebastian offered, but he has a family and children of his own. When you feel up to it, I would also like your opinion on how you would like your care to be handled when I am at a race. I want you to feel as safe and taken care of as possible. It kills me that I have to go away to participate in the last few races, but part of me is also excited to get back to driving alongside Lewis. We (Mostly I) will dedicate every race to you, Schätzen. Maybe if you are healed and well enough, you may be able to attend the last race of the season. That would be very fun, as I know some of the drivers are dying to see you again.

I cannot think of anything else to write that might ease your mind while I am gone for now. I cannot imagine how difficult it must be to not know anybody there, but I do hope that with Sebastian being there it has calmed some of your nerves. He admires you greatly, and you have always been fond of him. I feel exactly the same way. But you can always text message me or call me, if you need me. I know you are not quite comfortable with that form of communication yet, but I just want you to know that I will always respond and pick up when I see your name pop up on my phone.

Anyway, I am excited and full of anticipation for when I get to lay eyes on the most beautiful woman I have come to know again. Your strength and perseverance through this entire ideal has been something to write in the history books about. I cannot wait to hear your laugh and feel your fingers interlaced with mine. I am looking forward to our days spent on the couch, sharing a blanket, with you tucked underneath my side - where you fit so perfectly beside me as if it were meant to be. And until we see each other again, just know I am thinking of you always and missing you every second of the day.

You hold my heart in your hands.

Ich gehöre für immer dir.

(I am yours forever.)

Love,

Mickey

There were drops of water scattered across the page as you tried to stop yourself from crying again.

You may not know him, but he knows you. And the feeling was overwhelming.

“Are you alright?” Sebastian’s quiet voice came into notice as you looked up at him with tearful eyes. He tilted his head to the side in concern.

“He… Wrote me… He wrote me… This letter… He knew I would find it… He knew this… That I would want to write things down, after the day I had… And he knew I would find his letter…” You spoke in between sobs, your chest falling up and down at a rapid rate.

“Okay, okay. Let’s take a few deep breaths and then we can talk about it, ja?” Sebastian began to initiate some deep breathing, hoping you would follow suit.

After many seconds of doing some deep breathing, you closed your eyes and did your best to relax your body.

“He loves me, doesn’t he?”

Vettel paused, taking his seat beside you.

“Yes. He does.” The German driver answered solemnly.

“And I don’t love him? Isn’t that right?” You glanced around the dry hospital room, smears of bright white and the smell of rubbing alcohol apparent.

“I don’t want him to love me. I don’t deserve it.”

Sebastian Vettel, four time world formula one champion, and one of the most formidable motorsports athletes the world has ever known, was stunned. He remained tight lipped and stoic. In frustration, you threw the notebook onto the floor and put your head in your hands. You weren’t crying, no. But you were exasperated . You could hear beeping as each finger pressed a key in the background. You didn’t know what was what, except what was shown to you: The voice of somebody you used to know.

Sebastian had put the phone on speaker and handed it to you.

“Smidge? Are you okay?”

“Hello? Smidge?”

“Was machst du (What are you doing)?”

“Ich vermisse dich (I miss you).”

Mick’s voice was like the half of you that you didn’t know you needed. It melded perfectly with what you were missing in this dark despair of recent days. His slight German-Swiss accent brought you comfort like you didn’t know you needed. He had picked up the call no matter where he was or what he was doing.

“Komm zurück zu mir (Come back to me).” You could hear Mick let out a strained sigh. He wanted to come back, god did he want to.

“Mickey, please…”

Completely taking you off guard, the line went dead suddenly and you were left with another kind of beeping. You slowly handed the phone back to your almost friend, Sebastian. The former driver could only sigh and sit back in the chair that he had been making his home since Mick left.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Four Days Later

Your leg was finally out of those ghastly rods and into a softer cast. To think this feeling was heavenly, was something you would have never put on your radar thus far. Soon enough though as the many doctors and nurses came by, you were cleared to go home in the next 24 hours.

“We are glad to see you improving Mrs. Schumacher.” You did your best to make eye contact with the receptionist. “Please let us know if you need anything.”

“Thank you…” You started with caution.

“I’m not Mrs. Schumacher though… If you want to change that for your records or anything…” You tried your best to be nonchalant. The receptionist typed a few bits onto the computer in front of her.

Ushering for you to take a seat in the lobby, you tried your best to not think about the past.

Due to a reason unbeknownst to you, Mick was unavailable to take you home when it came to your releases date. You even braved the scary phone long enough to ask Sebastian if he could be there to take you to the new home Mick set up for you. He wished that he could, but evidently he had something to attend to.

Bravery aside, you sat curbside alone trying to figure out who to call. Your leg was in its soft cast, as you remained waiting for something or someone to come rescue you. You didn’t know where you were, you didn’t know any phone numbers off of the top of your head, and if it could get any worse, you were in England where it was raining.

“You’re going to catch a cold if you stay outside like this.”

Great. Now you’re fucking hearing things. Trying to shake the eerie feeling you had resting on your shoulders, you ignored the voice.

“Let me take you home, huh?” The voice repeated to you.

Your head turned to the left towards the voice. They were leaning against some concrete beam, cigarette almost totally nsmoked as they stepped towards you.

“John?”

“Hello, baby sister.”

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

You weren’t sure how you ended up at your brother’s flat in whatever country you were in at the moment. The legalization of Mick being your medical proxy was iron clad….

You never once considered an actual family member to be there for you. And as it were, your big brother had also aged some. You knew it was him immediately though. You could tell because he sort of looked like you, and his voice sounded like the only other voice besides Mick that you knew.

“Are we going back home?” Your brother was doing the dishes as you sat on the couch, your leg elevated to help relieve some swelling.

Again, you repeated the question. You could hear him turning the water off, and see him drying his hands as he turned to face you.

“No, we’re going to stay here for a little while.”

Confusion washed over you once more. Did Mick call your brother because he was unable to pick you up from the hospital? Did Mick even know you were here? All you could do was nod, while your brother excused himself to go lay down. It had been a long day of driving for him from where he came from. You remained in the quiet of your own company for a moment, trying to think of all the possibilities that could have ended up with you being in some strange apartment in a country you hardly knew. Finally, you pulled out your phone that Mick bought for you, and took a deep breath.

You: Hi Mick

…

Mick: Hello, Schätzen! It makes me very happy to see your text.

You: Really?

…

Mick: Yes, really. I would never lie to you.

You: That’s sweet.

…

…

Mick: I am so sorry I cannot be there to bring you home, but I will be there tonight and we can have dinner and watch a movie, if you would like. But, my very good friend Daniel is going to pick you up from the hospital, okay? He should be there shortly, if you just want to wait in the lobby where it is warm and dry.

You reread the message as your heart rate began to hasten. If Mick had already made arrangements for you to get picked up from the hospital… How did your brother find you?

You: Oh. I thought you called John, because he picked me up from the hospital already. A few hours ago, actually. I got released early and thought maybe you called him since you couldn’t get there in time.

Milliseconds after you pressed send on your text, your phone screen lit up brightly in your face.

INCOMING CALL: Mick Schumacher

swipe to accept

Your thumb danced over the bottom of the screen, only to have your desire to hear his voice once again take over your body. Slowly, you accepted the call.

“Schätzen, where are you?” You could hear the panic in his voice. How the fuck were you supposed to know where you were?

“Um… I’m in John’s apartment, I think.” You spoke in a whisper as to not to disturb your resting brother.

“Scheiße, Scheiße, Scheiße (Shit, shit, shit)!”

On the other side of the phone you could hear him getting up and gather his belongings wherever he was. You could pick up bits and pieces of what he was telling someone near him, but not enough to put together a full sentence. You patiently waited on your side of the line for him to speak again. What seemed like forever went by, before he talked to you.

“Can you describe where you are? Can you look outside and see any street names, or building names?” You could tell he was jogging by now.

“I’d have to get up… And my crutches are… On the other side of the room…”

Mick felt absolutely stupid for forgetting that you had a cast on your leg. And he felt even more stupid that he allowed your safety to be compromised… Again. In his defense though, he gave strict instructions to the hospital staff not to allow anyone to take you home besides himself, Sebastian, and Daniel. He even started calling you his Mrs. Schumacher for extra protection, but he’d never tell you that secret.

He was trying as quickly as he could to figure out what the hell went wrong, and how the hell your brother found you. Mick told you he’d have to call you back, but that he promised he would call back in five minutes.

As you waited for him to call back, you decided to try and hobble over to the window. It was gloomy, of course, but you could still see a few things.

House Street

Franklin Street

You decided to text Mick the names of the cross streets, just in case. Glancing around some more through the window, you saw to the far right what looked like a school or a church. You squinted to try and get the name of it.

Longfellow Grade School: Home of The Lions

You also added that to your next text message to Mick, as well as the few models of cars that were sat out on the street. Exhausted now, you hobbled your way back over to the couch and let out all the air you had pent up in your lungs.

INCOMING CALL: Mick Schumacher

swipe to accept

Faster than you did the last time, you accepted the call and raised the phone to your ear.

“Hi Mick, are you okay?”

“The police are on their way, Schätzen. Do not be scared when they arrive, ja? I will be there as fast as I can too. Stay on the line.”

You had a lot of conflicting feelings at this point. Why were the police involved now? Why did Mick sound so afraid? You couldn’t remember the last few years, but now you’re having to deal with all of this? It was as though your body was frozen with a mixture of fear and sadness. You could barely move from your spot on the couch while you anticipated the police’s arrival.

“Okay, Mick. What is going on, though?”

“I will explain everything once I bring you back home, to our home.”

Soon enough, there was a loud knock on the door. You could hear your brother curse loudly from his room as you shrank into the corner of the couch. You were very afraid. Your brother stumbled out of his room, rubbing his eyes as he opened the door to his apartment. One police officer held up a piece of paper to his face, while the other one peered into the space making sure you were alright. The male officer began to speak to your brother about whatever was on the paper, while the female officer approached you with caution.

“Hi, there. My name is Officer Clarkson. Are you alright?” Her voice was calming, and probably the most calming thing about this entire situation. She sat on the couch, keeping a good distance between you.

“I don’t know. I don’t know what’s going on, and I don’t know where I am.”

Mick had told the dispatchers that you were in a potentially dangerous situation, and that you had been in a bad car crash a month before resulting in some memory loss. He also told them that you in fact had a restraining order out against your brother, and that he had no clue how he got past the hospital staff.

“That’s okay, you don’t have to know anything right now. I’m just going to sit here with you, while my partner takes care of that young man. Is that alright?” Again, the peaceful cadence of her voice warmed you, and made you feel instantly safe.

“Yes.”

Your head quickly whipped to the side when your brother began yelling at the officer. He was pinned up against the wall, face to it, with his hands behind his back. The male officer handcuffed your brother and escorted him out to the police vehicle. It all happened so fast that you weren’t sure what to make of it. Officer Clarkson said some police speak into her walkie talkie that was on her chest, echoing some of the things being said back to her. She got up from the couch and looked around.

“Can you remember the last time you saw your brother?” You only shook your head in response. Your eyes followed the trail she was walking around the tiny apartment.


After a few more questions that you honestly did not know the answers to, you could hear the radio on her chest go off. The officer grabbed your crutches, and the bag you had at the hospital and escorted you downstairs. There was another police car, an SUV. Two more officers approached you, both women.

“This is Officer Hammond and Officer May. They’re going to drive you home, your real home.”

You thought you might combust trying to keep everyone’s names straight. But you still didn’t have any answers as to why your brother was sitting in the back of a cop car. And as you did so dutifully in the hospital, you did again as you just stood in silence allowing things to be explained to you.

“Your friend Mick - the one who called the us - Will meet you there. Your brother won’t bother you ever again, ma’am.” Officer Clarkson gave a promising smile and nod as she handed your bag to one of the other female officers.


Soon, you were in the backseat of the car as the three of you silently drove to wherever this new place was.

Two hours later, you were woken by Officer May trying coax you out of your sleep. You felt embarrassed for falling asleep, but it seemed like your body needed it. Rubbing your eyes, you looked over the officer’s shoulder to see you were parked in front of a modest one story home. You were in the countryside somewhere, and knowing Mick and his love for the countryside, you could tell that he put a lot of thought into this home. Even if it was going to be temporary, you enjoyed the thought of recovering somewhere private and secluded.

Officer May helped you out of the car and handed you your crutches. The sound of another car hastily pulling up made all three of your head’s turn sharply to the right. In true Mick fashion, he sported a big red truck as he parked in haphazardly. He couldn’t move fast enough though, as he jumped out of the car not even closing the door behind him. Mick ran up to you, his hands frantically searching your face for any wounds. He was rambling in German… Italian… Maybe even French as he brought you into a much needed embrace. He kissed the top of your head and looked at you with nothing but regret.

“Smidge, I am so sorry. I really do not know how this could have happened, but you are safe now. Okay? Completely safe from everything.” Mick profusely thanked the officers, and made a note to call and thank the other officers as well.

Mick helped you inside, before returning to the officers so that he could speak to them about the situation. They assured him that they would look into just how your brother was able to pick you up and take you out of the hospital. He wanted nothing more than answers at this point. (Join the club, right?)

You were still on edge when you heard the door open, your flinching making it clear. Mick walked towards you as cautiously as he could.

“It is just me, Smidge; Just Mick.” He stepped in front of you, his face softened by the sight of you. “I am sorry I scared you.”

“It’s just been a long day…” Mick led you carefully to the couch so that you could sit and rest your leg. Propping your leg up on some pillows, Mick moved to the kitchen to get you some water and some food.

The house was nicely decorated with accents of a familiar shade of red all around. The couch beneath you felt like a marshmallow compared to last couch you were sat on, and the hospital bed you had quite become accustomed to for the last month. Mick returned with a water bottle and a few snacks he might think you would want. Sitting beside you, but keeping a respectful space between you, the blond haired boy rubbed a very tired hand over his face. Leaning his head back onto the back of the couch and stretching out his arms too, he sighed a sigh of relief and closed his eyes. You watched him carefully, and more meticulously than you had in the hospital.

You liked the way his nose was slightly bigger than normal and the way that it curved downwards at the end. You noticed how his darkened blond hair curled ever so slightly at the tips. His lips were a pretty shade of pink too. You wondered if you ever had the pleasure of kissing them. His neck was bigger than you last could remember it to be. Mick’s Adam’s Apple moving up and down as he swallowed, sucking the insides of left side of his mouth. Mick always did that when he was overworked.

“Sind Sie gestresst (Are you stressed)?” Mick just hummed in response, your body relaxing at the familiar sound.

You remember how you reacted when the doctor hummed. Shuddering away that terrible thought, you scooted closer to him.

“Mir wird es gut gehen (I will be okay).” His eyes were still closed as he responded.

You took a beat and took a nice long deep breath. You remember what he had written in his letter. He probably had to leave his work to come find you. And the fact that he did made you feel something you hadn’t felt before - or at least couldn’t remember feeling. This man has always cared for you. Since you were children, he has always put you first and always made sure you were taken care of in every sense of the word. He was the only thing that connected you to your past and all of your lost memories. And surely he knew the weight of it all, yet he didn’t seem to be overwhelmed by it. He would carry the weight of the world on his shoulders if that meant he got to see you happy.

Something in the back of your head was telling you to reject these new feelings, though. You couldn’t tell what it was that was making you want to hide your emotions. The pull was strong. It was like The Force, pulling you into a dark deep alley where you were always meant to be: Alone.

You did your best to shake the distressing thought. Going back to happier things, you recited the letter in your head as you decided to be brave. After all, you didn’t survive a high speed car crash for nothing, right?

Nodding assertively to yourself, you managed to wiggle into Mick’s side. Your leg was still propped up, just now onto the coffee table in front of you. As best as you could and as comfortably too, you tucked yourself into him and his arm wrapped around you as if it were a dance you two had done a million times before. Your eyelids began to feel heavier and heavier as you felt the warmth of his body warm yours. It was not secret that the both of you were dog-tired as neither of you said a word.

The only thing surrounding you now was the sound of rain hitting the roof and someone’s arm wrapped tightly around you. And while you may not have any memories of the last few years, now was as good as time as ever to begin making new ones.

[nalyra-dreaming]

Because I'm weird I was thinking "Those who must be kept" is such a mouthful of a title, but it wouldn't have originally been in English. Marius carrying on the tradition of referring to Akasha and Enkil this way would almost certainly have thought of the phrase in Latin, which according to Google translates to "Qui custodiri debent", those who must be guarded(?). If anyone actually speaks Latin decently, please correct. But it sounds less clunky, more elegant, more like something one could use again and again over the years. Why do I think of stuff like this? Idk. How often do you think Marius thinks about the Roman empire

... good question. :) Given that he sets up the "constitution" later on, and has houses with big libraries, and given his habit of writing things down and collecting books and scrolls... I do think he does think about aspects of it quite often. But I don't think he's stuck in the past, and therefore he maybe uses his past... and thinks about it - but doesn't dwell on it, if that makes sense?^^

I don't know latin, unfortunately, but you could be right that the phrase in latin might sound not as clunky^^.

Maybe someone who knows can weigh in?^^

[that-ari-blogger]

An Interesting Character

Usually, when character is brought up in discussion, it is in reference to the people. If you think of the characters of The Owl House for example, you probably think of Luz, Eda, Bellos, Hunter, and Principal Bump.

But, by pure mechanics, a character is just a force at work in a story. One with personality, and agency, sure, but it's just a force.

This means that, if you squint a little, the Boiling Isles itself is a character, and the Wild Magic is an extension of that. It certainly gets treated like a character by the story, especially in Adventures In Elements.

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD

Before I start, let me give one attempt to argue with the pedants. By definition, a character is a person. So, hear me out, the Boiling Isles is literally the body of a titan, who actively talks to Luz later on in the series. That is my justification.

So... why is wild magic a thing?

I'm not asking for an in-universe answer, because that is multifaceted and not really the point. I'm asking why the writers decided to include this idea, and what effect it has on the story?

The phrase "magic is..." is used four times in this episode. Once by Eda, and thrice in quick succession by Luz. And it is worth taking a look at these statements.

"I know my lessons seem weird, but this is what wild magic is all about! Making a connection with nature. The earliest witches understood that. Human witches need to understand it, too. You wanna learn a second spell? ... Then you have to learn from the island."

There is a lot going on with Eda's guidance. First up is the small detail about the tense. The earliest witches knew that magic is about nature, implying now it is different. But mainly, this is an explanation of the nitty gritty of The Owl House's magic system. It's about two things, nature and connection. And I want to delve into that a little bit.

There is something fascinating about Bellos and his roots in witch-hunting. Because that was specifically defined by an opposition to things, rather than any actual views of its own.

Malleus Maleficarum, the book that kicked off the witch-hunts is a fascinating read, as long as you understand what it is that you are reading and don't use it as a set of instructions. Internet Archive has a translated version by Prof. Christopher S. Mackay, complete with commentary from latter authors that I highly recommend.

This single book caused a ton of harm to people, and you can examine it from almost any angle you like. The original was written by a terrible person with terrible intentions, and I also recommend Overly Sarcastic Productions' video on Werewolves for more information on that section of history.

What I want to focus on is the vernacular. References "devils" about 400 times and namedrops "witches" with similar regularity. The word "demon" comes up over 1000 times, and the word "pagan" comes up about 40 times. Specifically in reference to "pagan nations" which is about as racist as it sounds, as well as a ton of using the word as a catch all insult ("x type of person is worse than a pagan", etc. etc.). I don't want to get into the theology and history of this word, because it's a complicated minefield. But in this context, specifically around Europe in this time period, it means just about all regional faiths and mythologies. Celtic, Norse, Germanic, and several others.

Fun fact about me, I am Welsh, which means is that I have a connection to Welsh mythology, and so my analysis of wild magic is through that lens. If you have an understanding of other similar cultures, let me know, I'm fascinated to learn how that affects the reading of the Owl House.

Now, Modern Druidism is a living religion that I am not well versed in and want to treat with the respect befitting any living faith. So, I am sticking to what I know about the history and mythology and trying to make the differentiation between those two and Modern Druidism clear.

So, Druids in Celtic mythology are religious leaders, and peacekeepers. But what is possibly the most famous thing about them is their connection to nature. And here is where the analysis of The Owl House comes into play. Because the Owl House takes great care to associate magic with the natural, and Bellos with the unnatural.

"It means magic is a gift from the island. It means magic is everywhere. Magic is everywhere!"

Bellos creates artificial magic through his artificial staff and the destruction of the Palismen to fuel his life. Hunter wields an artificial staff, and in Adventures In Elements, Amity trains with an artificial training wand, which is linked to Bellos through the coven system.

But you would think that Luz's runes would also count as artificial. So what gives?

This episode shows them as part of nature more than the more refined spell circles. Luz's magic is that connection to the island in its purest, rawest form, and as I have said before, Luz's greatest strength is her ability to connect.

The dynamic between Wild Magic and Coven Magic isn't a dynamic between the artificial and the natural, it's a dynamic between empathy and utilitarianism. Wild Magic borrows, or is gifted, Coven magic takes and uses for its own ends. They are similar concepts, but it's in the minutia that the meaning comes out.

Final Thoughts

There is one final thing that Wild Magic reminds me of, and its off on a limb a bit. I currently live in Australia, and while Aboriginal spirituality is varied and complex and not my story to tell, I have been gifted this piece of advice that I would like to share: Humans don't own the land, we are a part of it, just as the trees and the beasts and the storms and the fires. Humans are mere custodians, our duty is to watch over and protect, and to connect.

I thought that was relevant.

I am away next week, but I'll be back in the new year with some analysis of The First Day, so stick around if that interests you.

Previous - Next

[haru-dipthong]

Why are anime translations so bad?

Disclaimer: I have never done any professional translation, and I don’t watch dubbed/subbed anime very often. But recently I watched a few episodes of subbed Demon Slayer at a friend’s place, and I noticed how bad some of the translations were. It reminded me of my childhood, watching subbed Ghibli movies and thinking “that english sounds weird”. As a kid I thought it was an unavoidable part of translation, but now that I can speak Japanese, I realise that we can do so much better with translations!

This post is my attempt to identify what a “bad” translation is, and hazard some guesses at what mistakes translators make that lead to these bad translations.

Examples are from Ranking of Kings, episodes 10 and 11. Screenshots taken from Crunchyroll.

What do I mean by bad?

Reason 1: They don’t sound like natural English.

If a character in an english cartoon said some of the stuff that characters in anime say in translations, it would sound very unnatural. Anime-translation english is unnatural and awkward sounding.

ダイダ様、久しぶりに街に出てみますか？ Price Daida, it’s been a while, so why don’t we go down into town?

This example sounds awkward. What’s with the random “so” in the middle of the sentence? No one in English media talks like that. If you just remove the “so” and replace it with a full stop, we get a much more natural sounding sentence.

Price Daida, it’s been a while. Why don’t we go down into town?

Or even something like this:

Price Daida, why don’t we go into town? It’s been a while since you’ve been down there.

Reason 2: They don’t fit the character.

This screenshot shows the character Kage speaking (the black blob). He has a character trait of being kind of immature and almost never using polite Japanese, even to royalty, which is very disrespectful. The original translation makes him sound so formal! Kage is supposed to sound like a 15 year old who tries way too hard to be rough and intimidating. Can you imagine someone like that saying “You may say those things”?

いやいやいや、なんかいい感じなこと言ってるけど、違うからね！ No, no, no! You may say those feel-good things, but reality is different!

It doesn’t preserve his characterisation at all. Way too formal and not juvenile enough! A better translation would be:

No, no, no! Nice motivational speech, but they’re just words!

The devil’s advocate & descriptivism

Now, I’ll preface this by saying I am a hardcore descriptivist. I’m not saying that these translations are wrong, or that the resulting English is incorrect English. What I’m saying is that they do not achieve the goals of a good translation, those goals being preserving what is being said and how it’s being said.

It could be argued that by now, anime translations have become a new dialect of English. Anime fans have come to expect the awkward-sounding phrasing, and instead might see natural English as unexpected. This is a fine rebuttal of my first point (it sounds awkward) but not of my second point (speech-pattern-based characterisation is often lost). Even then, anime translations are not exclusively for established anime fans. First time viewers may be put off by the unnatural language choices and strange turns of phrase. “Anime is cringe” they might say, and they wouldn’t be wrong. A good translation should be understandable to the entire target audience, and first time or casual viewers certainly make up a large portion of that target audience.

Why do the translations end up so bad?

They err on the side of direct translation over meaning-based translation

Often, it seems like the main nouns and verbs in the sentence get translated verbatim, and the rest of the translation is forced to bend around those. In addition, they do not consider how a similar sentiment might be phrased in english. Even if it’s a japanese way of saying something, they preserve the individual words instead of changing the whole sentence. Let’s look at the Kage example from before:

いやいやいや、なんかいい感じなこと言ってるけど、違うからね！ No, no, no! You may say those feel-good things, but reality is different!

I’ve coloured the text so you can see which pieces got translated separately. In this example, basically every word is being translated separately. Now let’s look at my example:

いやいやいや、なんかいい感じなこと言ってるけど、違うからね！ No, no, no! Nice motivational speech, but they’re just words!

I’m translating the entire middle verb phrase as one atomic piece of meaning. It’s not individually important that, for example, the specific word 言ってる was used, so it’s not important that I translate it directly to the word “say”. What is important is that Kage is saying that Despa is saying some nice stuff, but it doesn’t change the facts. I have a feeling that the more you can group words together and translate them as a whole phrase, the more natural the translation ends up sounding (and the more characterisation you can preserve).

They use weird words, due to dictionary translation

Let’s look at another example:

兄上は弱者だと、どこか甘えていないか？ Aren’t they sort of spoiling Brother, just because he’s a weakling?

In this example, the word 弱者 is translated as “weakling”. “Weakling” is a pretty rare word to hear outside of anime. That’s probably the best direct translation if we’re looking at the word 弱者 out of context. However, words always appear in context. Both times the word 弱者 is used to refer to a person in this episode, it’s used to refer to disabled people (Bojji, who is deaf, and a citizen, who is both blind and deaf). The citizen is actually not physically weak, in fact he looks pretty chunky and strong, so 弱者 is not being used to refer to his physical strength, only his disability. The English word “weakling” strongly suggests physical weakness, so I don’t feel like it’s appropriate here. Instead, I feel like a more appropriate translation would be:

Do you think Brother gets special treatment, just because he’s so pathetic?

Daida is immature and heartless at this point in his character. He has contempt for both Bojji and the citizen, and sees them as weak, but he also feels pity for them. I think the word “pathetic” sums up his emotions for them much better than the word “weakling”, as well as not coming loaded with the incorrect “physical weakness” connotation.

As a side note, you may have noticed I translated the first part of the sentence differently too. That’s another example of how (in my opinion) grouping words together to translate a phrase as a whole results in a much more natural phrasing.

They try to preserve the original grammar

An important skill to have when translating is knowing which aspects of the phrase are important to preserve in translation, and which parts are not important. Word order and grammar are almost never important enough to preserve.

ダイダ様こそ、選ばれた人間。 Prince Daida, you are one who is chosen.

In this example, the past tense verb 「選ばれた/chosen」modifying the noun 「人間/person」 seems to have been determined to be important to preserve by the translator, which leads to the awkward phrasing “one who is chosen”. In reality, the minutia of the original grammar is not important to preserve - we can translate 選ばれた人間 as a set phrase rather than translating the words individually:

Prince Daida, you are one of the chosen few.

Again, we can see that the translation is improved by grouping words together and translating the phrase as a piece of atomic meaning!

Anime translation is a naturally restrictive medium

For dubs, the characters’ mouth movements need to match up. This really narrows down the possibilities of translation options. It means that sub-optimal word choices may be used, and the rhythm of speech may be forced into an odd speed in places.

For subs, although the syllables and mouth movements don’t need to match up as perfectly as they do in dubs, the subtitles still end up needing to be applied over the same moments of speech. However, often, if the given situation in the anime was to be completely reframed in English, maybe no one would have said anything at that moment. There are times when someone would say something in Japanese that you would expect someone to not say anything in english.

デスパー：弟子の悪口は許しますけど、私の悪口は許しませんよ！！ カゲ：逆でしょ！！！！ Despa: You can insult my apprentice, but I won’t let you insult me! Kage: You’ve got it backwards!

In Japanese comedy, the role of ツッコミ (best translation is “the straight man”) is ubiquitous and plays the part of a laugh track - telling audiences when to laugh. In this case, Kage is playing the part of ツッコミ by pointing out that what Despa has said is the opposite of what you’d expect him to say. In this example, I feel like if this was an English cartoon, Kage wouldn’t have said anything. English speaking comedies generally expect/trust audiences to get the jokes without them being explicitly pointed out. I feel like this shows how attempting to fit subtitles to every spoken phrase can lead to slightly unnatural turns of phrase, since the translator is attempting to fit some speech into a place where there wouldn’t have been any in the first place. In my opinion, the best “translation” for the above would have been to cut the 1 second clip where Kage butts in with his line altogether.

———

Again, I should reiterate that I’m not a translator. I’m very keen to hear counter-arguments if you disagree with what I’ve said! Translations have got me really interested recently and I’m hungry for more opinions.

[i-llo]

The whole beeing soulmates thing

Beetlejuice × Fem O/C

Click here for more informations about this fic

Chapter 2

Synopsis: Sophie lives a normal and happy life in the 80s, she never worries about things beyond her reality, until weird dreams started to haunt her – flashes of faces and places she didn't recognize, and a strange gothic girl shows up with even more disturbing informations. What she can't figure out is that she's trapped in an endless cycle of death and rebirth, always ate the age of 25, and that her destiny is undeniably connected to Beetlejuice in some way. Centuries before, they should have met, but a cruel tragedy separated them and now the Deetz and the Maitlands, headed by Lydia, are determined to give Beetlejuice a chance of redemption, finding out about Sophie's forgotten past. As they try to reunite these two destined souls, something is trying to prevent this from happening, at all costs. Between ancient secrets, an inexplicable connection and they running out of time, Sophie and Beetlejuice finally have a chance to undo the curse that keeps them separated and trapped in this world.

Notes: Beetlejuice's medias will be mixed up (these works do not belong to me and all rights are reserved), so we'll use a lot of information from the 1988 and 2024 movies, but using the personality of the characters from the Broadway musical. I'm looking for someone to help me with beta reading the English translation.

Act 1, prologue: A Promise in the Shadows

It was a particularly cold night, a deep darkness, as the moon struggled to reveal itself through the thick clouds. The holwing wind made the trees sway, groaning in the gloom. In the open-air cemetery, where the silent witnesses of old times layed, the unease sense was almost palpable, a desolation that seemed to envolve the place with every wind blow.

Sophia, with her heavy dress and silent steps, had just revealed herself in the light of a nearby lamp, leaving a narrow alley, accompanied by a strong and austere man. Sophia's father, Edmund, was influential and feared in the region and was returning home with her after a social event, however, he decided to slightly divert his path for a short round. His concern for his family's property and investments led him to inspect the cemetery, now neglected and disturbingly exposed, three years after the start of the Black Death.

Among the rotting bodies, Beetlejuice moved with disconcerting intensity, searching for anything valuable, as soon as a cart unloaded, he moved to this new location. His carefree and irreverent behavior was evident as he manipulated the corpses with an almost frenzied dexterity. His eyes, darkened like two black spots on his face due to the low light, were an almost savage sight, his actions did't went unnoticed by passersby.

Sophia's father advanced with firm and quick steps, approaching Beetlejuice with an expression of absolute disdain. “Even the lowest scum have learned to respect the dead, what do you think you're doing?” he shouted, his voice resonating with an authority that seemed to fill the cemetery.

The thief, oblivious to the gravity of the situation, slowly turned around, a disdainful smile on his lips. "Me? I like to think that I'm giving a better destination to things that they will certainly no longer use". His voice full of sarcasm, directly challenged the power that Edmund represented.

The tension was palpable. As he continued to make ,threats and try to intimidate Beetlejuice, Sophia, hidden in the shadows, felt a mixture of fear and inexplicable fascination. Despite her father being an imposing figure, the strange young man faced the situation with a confidence that delighted her. Sure, the desecration of the dead made her shudder and the smell was unbearable, but there was something morbidly magnetic about the situation. Beetlejuice showed no signs of submission, instead, he continued to work, completely disregarding the presence of the intruders. Sophia, despite her natural shyness and respect for her father's suffocating presence, couldn't take her eyes off him. The way he challenged the established order was fascinating.

---

In the upcoming weeks, Sophia's life became a silent search. Observing Beetlejuice from distance, through the windows of her residence or during discreet walks, she began to feel a deep curiosity, along with a new kind of anxiety. The way he defied norms and lived freely enchanted her. Every sight of him was a mixture of wonder and desire, a desire to escape the restrictive and controlling life she knew, and he was the representation her feelings, as if all her inappropriate thoughts formed a whole new person. Finally, after the torturous weeks that followed, Sophia decided to act, she could no longer return to the confines of her existense, not after that encounter in the graveyard. She would run away and find Beetlejuice, she intended to confess her feelings and then they could run away, with her dowry's money that she would bring hidden, they could start a new life, just the two of them.

However, what that young woman could never imagine, was that this was also the day of his honeymoon. After meeting and marrying Dolores, an enigmatic and seductive woman, in a matter of days, joining together in a profane celebration, just like them, the moment came for the consummation of the vows. Dolores, however, had planned something dark: poison him to take his soul and ensure her own immortality. Sophia ran hurriedly through the deserted streets, the cold wind hurted her face like small cuts, while the sound of her own footsteps echoed in her nervous mind. Every corner felt like a eternity and every noise from the street seemed amplified in her troubled head, but the confidence in her feelings and her perfectly put together plan drove her forward, with her heart fixed on one person.

When Sophia arrived, she found the most horrific scene, Beetlejuice was dead from poisoning and with an enraged expression due the betrayal. His body was already pale and cold. Rage that resulted in Dolores' brutal death by axe, the woman's body was completely dismembered, causing blood to spread everywhere, soaking all the floor. Sophia then walked over, heartbroken and with eyes full of tears, kneeling beside Beetlejuice and crying over his limp body, the feeling of despair and desolation growing every second, "I love you" she whispered, her voice weak and broken by pain, almost inaudible. “And I promise that I will love you in every other life, we will meet again, and no matter what happens, I will never forget you.” Sophia's lament seemed to echo through the village, the sound of crying and sharp sobs, her promises of love and devotion caught in the darkness of that night.

---

Sophia's father after finding out what had happened, warned by his employees, was furious and decided that the situation needed to be resolved quickly and effectively. To protect the family's honor and avoid any scandal, he arranged a marriage for Sophia with Anthony, a man who was as cruel as rich, known for his brutality and power. Sophia's marriage to Anthony was the realization of her nightmares, he was ruthless and treated her with scorn, isolating and keeping her locked up, away from any possibility of escape and under strong physical violence. Sophia's life alongside Anthony was full of suffering and fear. Anthony, interested only in her wealth, constantly mistreated her. A few months after their wedding, Sophia, now at the age of 25, was brutally murdered by Anthony, who had already completed his goal and no longer needed her. Her life was ended short and filled with abuse, a cruel act that sealed her fate.

After Sophia's death, a heavy air enveloped the room, as if the world was suspended in dark mourning. That seemed to announce the sadness of an unfulfilled promise, in the dim light, the cycle of life and death continued. Time advanced until a baby's cry broke the silence. Her new life began as a child again, eyes opening to a world that was at once so familiar and so new. As the seconds passed fast, memories of her past life began to emerge, like scattered fragments of a distant dream. The love and the promise made to Beetlejuice, the losses and the very curse that now followed her, became clear in her mind. She slowly understood that she was doomed to repeat her story, trapped in an endless cycle of reincarnation, always seeking to find the one to whom she had promised eternal love, and then she heard “Welcome to the world, Olivia”.

[dynamightmite]

Just to be clear, the whole "Deku and Bakugo holding hands by the end of the manga" thing isn't like. Something weird or made up, or even indicative of shipping. It's literally just the culmination of their interactions considering the way Horikoshi centralized "reaching to/for" as being foundational to Bakugo and Midoriya's relationship. Almost all of their big moments can be described as the act of one reaching for the other, both physically and emotionally—and both matter.

The whole reacher/reachee dynamic starts (chronologically for them) at about four, and this one interaction defines the entirety of their relationship going forward.

Notice how Midoriya reaches, and Bakugo shoves him off. He clearly recognizes the gesture, but he absolutely refuses to respond in kind. This is the break in their relationship, the symbolic moment where Bakugo pulls away and Midoriya is left trailing behind after him.

It isn't until years later that Midoriya reaches out to Bakugo again, under similar, but much more dangerous circumstances. One thing hasn't changed; Midoriya is the one originally doing the reaching. What does change is that Bakugo, unlike when they were kids, reaches back:

I think a lot of people pass over Bakugo's response here as unimportant because you have to translate it through seven asshole filters to realize he's roundaboutly trying to thank Midoriya for saving his life, but it's relevant in that it sets the tone going forward. This moment shows that Bakugo is willing to reach back—not necessarily kindly, and certainly not physically, not yet—if Midoriya reaches first. It's the first sign that Bakugo does actually want a reciprocal relationship, even if he can't verbalize or actualize it yet.

We see this extended after Deku vs. Kacchan 1. Midoriya reaches out to Bakugo, chasing him down to do so. While he doesn't reach out physically so much, he emotionally reaches out by (vaguely) offering Bakugo information about OfA.

While Bakugo isn't nice about it, once Midoriya has shown his vulnerability, Bakugo responds in kind, emotionally reaching back to Midoriya. He doesn't leave Midoriya hanging, instead going the extra mile and, unprompted, exposing his own vulnerabilties. This is more movement towards a reciprocal relationship—if Midoriya opens up, Bakugo will follow suit, even if he still won't go first.

It takes their final exam for Bakugo to physically reach back. After Midoriya "reaches" (read: punches, but look at the posing, and how his arm is outstretched) Bakugo does the same. They manage it because it's hidden under the guise of training and teamwork, more violent than anything.

This sequence isn't just physical, though; Midoriya reaches out to Bakugo and reaches through his defenses emotionally in a way that actually affects him. Here, for the first time, Bakugo feels like he's being acknowledged. Seen. Midoriya's right, Bakugo doesn't just give up and neither does Midoriya, and if they understand that about each other, maybe they can manage to understand more. To be more than just estranged ex-childhood friends and rivals. So Bakugo reaches for Midoriya and shows him that he can and will reciprocate, so long as they're doing it on his terms.

It's after this, after Bakugo has realized he maybe can reach back when Midoriya holds out his hand and it won't be terrible, that they're thwarted by the plot. For the first time, Midoriya is prevented from reaching out, physically, and instead does so verbally, and Bakugo, who is also unable to physically reach out, verbally reaches back. Call and response. A pantomime of what they want, and intentionally unsatisfying.

This is contrasted boldly and meaningfully against Kirishima physically being able to reach for Bakugo, who takes his hand without thought.

You'll notice this is mostly a physical act, not an emotional one. Sure, they're both happy to see each other and both their emotions are running high, but this moment isn't meant to be vulnerable and charged the same way Bakugo and Midoriya's reaching out is, because Kirishima and Bakugo have an uncomplicated relationship, while Midoriya and Bakugo do not. This moment is supposed to show Bakugo's individual, personal growth (in that he can even have a reciprocal, uncomplicated relationship built on respect and kindness with another person), but Kirishima's reaching out to him is largely utilitarian and being used within a larger contextual frame. It cannot exist alone because of how motifs function within works as a whole. This moment exists to bring attention to the act of reaching out mutually, and why it matters so much that Bakugo and Midoriya have yet to achieve it.

Having established that they both are actively thinking about this aspect of their relationship, it's only after Bakugo and Midoriya's near miss that things change again. Not entirely—while Bakugo instigates Deku vs. Kacchan 2, he doesn't really reach first. He's still too defensive, still too distrusting of Midoriya's intentions. He instead goes in on the offense, exposing Midoriya by bringing up OfA and forcing Midoriya's hand.

It's only when Midoriya reaches out, both physically and emotionally, that Bakugo breaks and reaches back.

Look at the posing and the positioning of the characters within these panels. Bakugo isn't drawn like this for shits and giggles, he's intentionally shown to be holding his hand out to Midoriya. Their whole fight has been characterized by Bakugo asking Midoriya for things (information about his quirk, the fight itself, why did All Might choose him as successor), and this is one more time. He is asking Midoriya to keep reaching out—to let Bakugo reach back, despite his ongoing rejections. To be there with and for Bakugo as he works through his own issues and to not let go. To let him be weak until he can work up the strength to fully reach back, and even reach first.

Which he wants to do. Desperately.

And when he does...

Bakugo reaches out first in his apology. Emotionally, not physically. Possibly because Bakugo actually tends to be pretty prickly about physical touch, and seems to treat that as more intimate than many of his peers, but I think his choice to reach out emotionally more has to do with Bakugo making the decision to do the difficult thing, to give Midoriya what he deserves. Because reaching out physically is just moving your hand—baring your soul? That shit hurts. That's hard. But it's what Midoriya needs, and it's what Bakugo wants to give.

And now it's Midoriya's turn to reach back. Not emotionally, but physically, stumbling his way to Bakugo. There is no emotional reciprocation on Midoriya's part this time—Bakugo will need to reach out again, later.

It isn't until the very end that Bakugo reaches—physically—first. And for the first time, Midoriya's not there.

The whole point of their relationship, the moment this all suggests they are heading to, is the two of them reaching for each other and being able to connect. Physically and emotionally. That is the entire purpose of this constant back and forth, one reaching out in the hopes that the other will reach back. So far they haven't completely managed, but for the arc of their relationship to be complete, that has to happen.

I understand why this often gets put under a romantic lens, and while it can be, I guess, the motif itself and the arc of their relationship exists regardless of any reader's personal preferances. That's what writing conventions are for, so we can recognize and predict the outcome of the story as intended by the author. The act of reaching out isn't exclusive to Bakugo and Midoriya within the story by any means, but their relationship being defined by the act and symbolized by it, continuously depicted with it as the main focus, is certainly not an accident. It is the culmination, and the ultimate end goal of their relationship, which—again, if writing conventions are followed—should be met. Like I understand that people get told "there's no correct answers in media analysis" but baby, sometimes there are answers with enough supporting evidence that suggesting they're wrong is... I don't even know.

[lost-inanotherlife]

Lost S1 Rewatch after 20 years - scattered thoughts

Charlie is creepy as fuck. He's extremely volatile and while I understand that he's going through recovery and that's certainly tough on anybody, let alone a plane-crush survivor stranded on a crazy island, I still read his behavior towards Claire and, to a lesser extent, Hurley, kinda creepy and not-cool weird.

Justice for Shannon. Let's give her credit for impromptu translating from French into English while everybody gives her shit because she's not sure whether she can do it or not and doesn't want to mess up. Sorry if she's just a normie human being and not a highly-trained torturer or a crafty confidence man. Yeah, we should apologize to her.

Not looking for Claire was a dick move. The girl is about to give birth in 1-2 weeks, gets abducted by a someone who infiltrated the survivors, tried to murder Charlie and is now possibly hiding with Claire in the jungle... for almost a week? And people be like: well, I guess shit happens, amirite? It irks me a lot, ngl.

The structure of the episodes, the command of narrative techniques, the use of very specific and recurrent symbols... superb writing. Yes, there are some minor mistakes, some inconsistencies and some stuff that I personally don't like and yet... After 20 year this season still EATS.

After 20 years I still hate the "Love Triangle" trope. I hated it 20 years ago and things haven't changed, maybe they even got worse. Yes, I'm referring to the Kate-Jack-Saywer of it all. I used to ship Kate and Jack but, upon rewatching s1, I find that Jack is sometimes a bit of a dick towards Kate while Kate unnecessarily keeps doing these little manipulations when it's clear as day that Jack's got it bad for her and she already has him wrapped around her finger. I like that Kate and Saywer immediately clock each other as outcasts and outlaws and flirt their way around it but I think Kate dumps on him the same attitude Jack dumps on her and I'm like "please leave my man James out of your little machinations to play the doctor, thank you".

Speaking of, I know that a queer watsonian reading of Lost is... well, I don't want to say "impossible" because nothing is, but it is not an easy feat. Having said that, my headcanon is that Jack and Sawyer are the real soullmates, their chemistry is off the charts. I know that they've created these two cishet characters exuding straightness from every pore but there's so much of that between the two of them that it actually circles back to being very queer when they interact.

[kyliafanfiction]

One thing that the Worm power classification does is it makes trying to translate other characters from outside the Wormverse into it very odd, in ways.

Like, there are many characters or classes of being who in their own universes are not that OP, perfectly reasonably in line with the power levels of the universe, both conceptually and on a strength level.

But if you try to take them into Wormverse, they look like some weird grab-bag collection powers gathered almost randomly, and certainly make the character OP.

Like, take your average vampire. Super strength and durability/healing from most injuries that aren't the standard vamp weaknesses (stake to heart, sunlight etc). That's a Brute rating. Vampires usually are portrayed as having much faster movement than people, the ability to jump far (some even do fly, but that's less common). That's Mover. Throw in enhanced senses (Thinker?) and already you're at three ratings.

Capes with three ratings is not unheard of, but it is uncommon, overall, except maybe for Alexandria packages (though hardly all, but an AP requires at least two implicitly) Then you throw in things like vampires changing forms (changer), some even control animals, vampires often mind control or hypnotize or whatever people, (both Master) etc and you're left imagining that if a vampire pops into Wormverse PHO would go nuts with the assorted collection of powers they seemed to have, even if the ratings were (say) not more than 3 or 4?

But in a universe where vampires and other supernatural entities exist, that's just... the standard vampire package, eh?

[nerdy-the-artist]

Space Pirate Design Ranking

The Metroid series has a boatload of different designs, completely changing between every game except the 2D iterations. Some think it’s simple design inconsistency, others think that they’re different genetic manipulations of the same species, while others (including myself) are of the opinion that the Space Pirates are a collective made up of various species. Today, I’ll be ranking these designs based on what they convey and, simply, what I think is cool and aesthetically pleasing. For the sake of simplicity, I’ll only be ranking the standard Space Pirate variant of each game, the “core enemy type” if you will. And yes, Metroid Prime 4 Beyond is here, though its place in the ranking is subject to change as we get more closer looks.

7. Metroid Prime 2 Echoes

Some people may consider this a sin to put so low on the list but, to me, this really just doesn’t fit the whole vibe of the Space Pirates, especially in the Prime series. In the Metroid Prime saga, the Space Pirates are an authoritarian empire who recklessly abuse technological advancement for the sake of domination. This just… doesn’t say that. It’s a good design, don’t get me wrong, but this really looks like some weird skeleton knight. I could see this crawling out of some crypt to seek vengeance, not descending from a space ship to plunder. For that reason, I gotta put this guy in last place.

6th place: Metroid Prime Federation Force

For many of the problems Metroid Prime 2’s design has, I think Federation Force remedies… and then makes the opposite mistakes. Federation Force’s Space Pirate design is, canonically, around the same height as Metroid Prime’s Omega Pirate. Why make mechs for your game if you’re just gonna scale the enemies up anyway is anyone’s guess. With that in mind, I kinda like this as a heavy unit for the Space Pirates, but the center of this design just is a bit hard to look at. I love the limbs and the inclusion of the iconic Prime Pirate energy blade. There’s a mix of fleshy joints and tough, metal plating that I enjoy, I actually like the bright red eyes as well, especially for a heavy unit. But the carapace around it just feels… it’s kinda hard to look at. That mouth, as well, is just a bit too buggy and lacks expressiveness. Really, that’s my edict on this thing. Good extremities, but lacks expression and is generally tough to look at. Still, I imagine someone could retool/retexture this thing to be a real banger of a design.

5th place: Metroid Other M

From here on, these designs are ones I truly like as Space Pirates. Metroid Other M’s Space Pirate design was a tough one to find a good image of. This was about the best one I could find in a cursory search. As far as official designs go, I think this is the best translation of the iconic Zebesian Space Pirate to 3D we’ve ever gotten. There was a small effort made in Prime 2 to bring the claws back, but here there are on full display and they look great. The whole design is, honestly, fantastic. You can see the smooth bands around the limbs and torso, downward pointed jaw, and the big, smooth, blank eyes of the old sprite. The spines on the back and head really add some personal flare to these guys as well, and the whole design has a delightfully cheesy color scheme that I simply adore. I think the series has designs that evoke certain feelings and themes better, but this is certainly a fun looking guy.

4th place: Metroid Prime 3 Corruption

Unlike every other type but the Zebesians, the Space Pirates of Corruption have a distinct name based on the Homeworld we explore, Urtraghians. There is a distinctly pseudo organic bend to these guys, with the textures on the armor plating feeling almost Xenomorphic. However, where I think this design stands out is, of course, the head. The long, pointed teeth clearly visible under the rows of eyes really makes this eel-like head intimidating. You can really imagine the Urtraghians descending from their ships in a city, gunning down innocents and plundering whatever they choose. These animalistic terrors will smell where you’re hiding and drag you out kicking and screaming. It really fits the Space Pirates’ role in the story. From day one, they really have just been a bogeyman for the Federation. We rarely actually see them doing… ya know… pirating. The rampant technological obsession was a concept introduced by the Prime trilogy. As a design for the Bogeyman of the Galaxy, I think the Urtraghians work great.

3. Metroid Prime 4 Beyond

Haha, 3 is for 4 and 4 is for 3. This will be subject to change and many people might not rank them until we get clearer images, but uh… I’m doin it. Beyond’s pirates have a very buggy design, but in a way that’s parallel, not identical, to the Zebesian designs from the 2d games. Their mouth is split into mandibles, they have a hard carapace, and their movements can be jittery and unsettling. The large size of them compared to the Federation personnel seen in the trailer really evokes power and control. Their armor has outward pointed edges and defined pectorals. These are conquerors, proud, undefeatable warriors. The sparseness of it also evokes a sense of confidence, as if they don’t need a full covering when their hardened shell is so superior to weak flesh. It’s almost ornamental in a way. (Though someone should remind them they lost in every previous fight against Samus). Their mandibular maws, hunched backs, double thumbed hands, and digitigrade stance (standing on their toes with their heels off the ground) also evokes a certain other core enemy type in a sci fi shooter.

I’m going to leave it here for now as I have some other stuff to get to at the moment and I Forgor the image limit on Tumblr posts. I’ll get the ranking for the final (first?) two designs by the end of today. Then, I might make a post about what roles I’d fit these different species into for my own storytelling purposes.

[thegirlwhowrites642]

After reading your meta on Harry's looks and how James and Sirius are equals because of their similar good looks, now I keep thinking how Ron and Harry are never going to be equals because Ron is weird and unfortunate looking (seriously the way Rowling always describes his looks is almost comical) and he's Harry's follower, never an equal; not to mention if we add Ron's jealousy streak in that mix and now I'm just sad 😭 I do wonder if there's ever going to be some cracks in their friendship after war because of that huge imbalance, because Harry is only going to get better and better after war and I wonder if Ron would be able to handle that.. Great metas anyway!

Omg I can't believe I forgot to answer this!

You are making me feel bad for Ron too, lol.

[the original post is this]

The first thing I should probably say, even if you sort of already said it, is that Harry and Ron are never meant to be equals, and not just in looks. The story never presents them as equals, contrary to James and Sirius. Ron is Harry's helper and he is built as a character to be that (because let's remember that these are characters, not real people, they are tools that serve a bigger picture).

That said, Ron is definitely not conventionally good-looking. Harry is really quite brutal when it comes to describing the looks of his best friends, he has the spirit of an old judgemental grandma.

There's a way in Italian to describe how I think Ron looks that as far as I'm aware doesn't have a translation in English, if it has it then I'm about to give you a completely unnecessary explanation.

In Italian when there's a guy who is average-looking but not in a boring way, you say that he "is a type". This basically means he is a random guy but if you are particularly into certain traits he has then you might think he is cute.

Ron is certainly not handsome but he is very tall, he is a keeper so there's a good chance he has large shoulders, he has blue eyes, he has a long nose, big hands, and lots of freckles. I don't think you can say he is boring-looking.

I also have a hard time imagining someone like Lavender being into a guy who is straight-up ugly.

So, I'd say Ron "is a type".

Now, about Ron and Harry's friendship. I think by the end of the series, Ron has done already a big part of the work he needs to do on himself when it comes to his insecurities in the sense that it would be clear now he has them and that they can lead down a quite dangerous path. Of course, this doesn't mean his insecurities would suddenly disappear, but I also think we need to remember that a lot of things would change after the war, it's simply part of the process of growing up and making new experiences. Ron and Harry would make other friends (not that they would stop being friends between them) and that would do them both some good frankly. I think Ron being able to use his social skills for himself instead of to parent Harry would increase his self-esteem a lot.

Ron going to work with George instead of remaining an auror shows significant personal growth. Wanting to be an auror for Ron seems a bit like his need to be in the Quidditch team, a sort of necessity to prove to himself he is on the same level as his brothers (or better).

Developing himself outside of a person who needs to be there for Harry and being successful with his business would help Ron a lot.

So, while claiming Ron would become a very confident person seems a bit too much, I don't think he would spend his days being envious of Harry.

And strictly in the looks department, I believe it would help a lot the fact that they both already have their witch.

[oneinathousand]

F-Zero Novel "And Then, to the Gods of Speed" Plot Summary

I just read through the obscure official tie-in novel for F-Zero from 1992, which has very little information about it online.

DISCLAIMER: Since I can't read Japanese, I had to use my phone to translate, which certainly didn't yield stellar results, but I was so curious about what was actually inside the book since there's so little information about it other than 1. It's a darker book, 2. The protagonist is named Swan Lee, and 3. It involves Captain Falcon's death, and I just couldn't wait for a full fan translation to sate my curiosity. The goal was basically to get an overall idea of what was going on, which I think I managed to get.

So, for those of you who have been just as curious as I was about this book, I'll be going chapter by chapter, giving a fairly comprehensive summary of the plot. There's a lot of digressions throughout with worldbuilding about the socioeconomics and mechanics of the setting, which I'll mostly be skipping unless they directly relate to the plot.

I want to reiterate that it's entirely likely that I get some things wrong, like perhaps names or plot points. The ending in particular I'm not super sure about because, well, let's just say it gets pretty... weird, you'll see. It comes across to me like it might have been rushed, but that's just idle speculation.

One more thing: I knew going in that Captain Falcon was supposed to die and this would be a darker book, but damn! I was legitimately shocked at how they handled him here, I could not believe that Nintendo approved of this direction. It could have only happened during that pre '93 Mario movie/Phillips CDI era where Nintendo didn't give much oversight as to how other people handled the characters.

Spoilers ahead!

Chapter 1: Team Sprem (a misspelling of Supreme)

Swan Lee is a street kid with no parents living in the poor Port Town along with his gang, Team Sprem/Supreme (which I'll just call Supreme to prevent giggles from readers), which includes his friends Eddie and Mamoru. Despite only being 10 years old, Swan is a very good racer because he has access to a banned system called Soulmatic which allows users to directly connect their minds to their machines, which can be very dangerous. Whenever Swan connects to his machine, he communicates with an unknown entity called the Supreme who guides him.

While chasing down an opponent, Mamoru crashes his vehicle and has to be pulled out of the wreckage by Swan. Afterwards, a futuristic zeppelin passes by announcing the top 4 winners of the recent F-Zero race who are the original four characters from the SNES game (though for whatever reason Samurai Goroh is called Kamikaze Goroh in this version).

Captain Falcon, the 1st place winner, announces his retirement, and he is given the title of Baron of Cosmos by Mr. Richter, the President of the company Big Cosmos, which created and oversees F-Zero.

Chapter 2: Monday Tournament

Ten years later, the adult Swan and Team Supreme have mostly split, with Eddie as his mechanic and Mamoru never being able to fully recover from his injuries all those years ago. Swan plans to race in the Monday Tournament so he can qualify for F-Zero.

However, the odds are stacked against him. At this point, F-Zero -which is ostensibly supposed to be open to everyone who has access to a machine, only wants the pilots that Big Cosmos trains themselves to be able to compete in the races, and they set out traps for outsiders, making it almost impossible for ordinary citizens to participate in F-Zero.

Swan uses the Supreme to help him avoid the traps and win the qualifier, even though use of the Soulmatic system isn't allowed. His cheating goes unnoticed, however, and his darkhorse victory in the qualifier causes a stir among F-Zero viewers.

Chapter 3: Blue Falcon

After the tournament, Captain Falcon reaches out to Swan and Eddie, asking them to meet him at his home. Once they arrive, they see that Falcon has become prematurely aged from his years of racing and he admits to being an alcoholic. Swan is skeptical of Falcon's intentions, but Falcon says that he's renounced his title as Baron of Cosmos and wants to sponsor Swan and Eddie in F-Zero, giving them his blessing to inherit the Blue Falcon and modify it however they please.

After this, a meeting between President Richter and his right-hand man, Owl, is shown, where Richter reveals that Falcon has cancer and doesn't have much time left to live.

Back home in Port Town, Swan is told that Mamoru has collapsed. He rushes to be at his old friend's side, but it's too late. Mamoru is already dead by the time he arrives at his family's home. Swan has a heartfelt conversation with Mamoru's younger sister, Taime, and he lets her ride around town with him.

Chapter 4: Glid (probably a misspelling of Grid)

Richter invites Swan and Eddie to stay at the Crystal Tower Hotel in White Land. Once there, Swan has dinner alone with Richter, who drugs him so that he can analyze his brain with a machine that detects the Supreme's presence in his mind. Swan comes to with no knowledge of what just happened.

The race at White Land takes place, and this time Swan wins by attacking another racer with a concealed weapon. Falcon watched the broadcast of the race from home, and at the end, he fell unconscious.

Chapter 5: Death Wind

Swan's cheating has been discovered this time, but Richter allows this, announcing that the rule against directly attacking other racers will be rescinded. He believes that Swan will usher in a new era of F-Zero where it is more than entertainment, it will be war.

A romantic meeting between Swan and Taime is interrupted by Eddie, who tells them that Falcon is in critical condition. Swan hurries to Falcon's house, where he is on his deathbed. In his last moments, Falcon "looks at Swan as if he were looking at a lover" and implores him to seek out Dr. Stewart, Goroh, and Pico so he may learn the meaning of racing from them, and as he passes away, he can see and speak to the Supreme.

However, once Swan returns to his garage, he sees a ransom note from a gambling organization called Vega threatening him that they have Taime in their clutches and won't release her unless he drops out from the Death Wind circuit.

Swan plans on racing anyway, believing that's what Taime would want, and he gathers a collection of bombs from his street gang days to use against the other racers. In response to this, Eddie leaves Swan. When the Death Wind race starts, the Supreme prevents the Blue Falcon from moving, causing Swan to panic, but Taime is then let go safe and sound.

Chapter 6: Goal Gate

The next session of F-Zero will see the princes of Sand Ocean and Silence participating, and Richter plans on using the new brutality of the races to spark a war between the two planets so he can buy the oil that was recently found on Sand Ocean. At this point, he views Swan as expendable and orders him to be killed.

A cruiser ship piloted by a man named Sekikawa attacks and injures Swan and Taime; luckily, they're rescued by Pico and brought to his fortress. After he recovers, Swan visits Goroh's boat house in Big Blue. Following a short pep talk and a feeling of kinship over their shared "Oriental blood" (the translation's words, not mine), Swan and Taime visit Dr. Stewart in Mute City.

In each of his conversations with the three former pilots, Swan has discussed what racing means to them and what the Supreme is, getting different answers from them. Dr. Stewart encourages Swan to race again, and he leaves Taime behind to stay safe with the doctor.

Immediately after leaving the penthouse, Sekikawa attacks Swan, seemingly killing him and causing Taime to become hysterical. As Swan falls through the air, he sees angels and can feel his body lifting upward. Dr. Stewart contacts Pico and Goroh, asking for their help to create the ultimate F-Zero machine. The three work together to create a new, more powerful version of the Blue Falcon.

Finally, the last race in Mute City with the two princes is about to begin. The Blue Falcon appears at the entry line, much to Mr. Richter's shock, since he believes Swan to have been killed. He tries to shut down the race to no avail, the systems are unresponsive. Stewart, Goroh, Pico, Taime, and the rest of the crowd watch as stars fill the night sky of Mute City for the first time in centuries.

The race goes without incident and the Blue Falcon wins. Swan reveals himself and embraces Taime, telling her that the Supreme is in actuality the collective memory of all those who race, and he has elevated himself above caring about winning or losing.

Final Thoughts After that, the book ends with pontificating about the spiritual significance of racing at high speeds felt by pilots and car racers throughout history, hence the title "Gods of Speed," but I didn't know how to word it, sorry. This book seems like it's too short, there's a lot of "and then Swan went here and talked to this guy for a bit", but I also appreciate not wasting my time.

Like I said, there's a lot of worldbuilding and stuff that I left out, there's far, far more of it than you would expect from a Nintendo tie-in novel from the early 90's and I appreciate the effort, even if a lot of it was expressed through info dumps.

How about Captain Falcon going out like that, huh? Can you imagine any Nintendo property tackling alcoholism and cancer, especially with the protagonist of one of their flagship SNES games at the time??? I have to admire such a bold choice. It's so completely different from later portrayals of Falcon where he's basically Future Racing Jesus and got to go out in the anime with a blaze of glory. I wish the other three racers were in it more (BTW, Goroh is given the last name "Sugata" here, and I'll now adopt that as my headcanon for his real last name). If you have any questions about the book, I'll try to answer them the best I can. I know a lot of it still flew over my head.