#this is almost 2k jesus christ haha

[vintagedolan]

another raleigh concept but it might be kinda angsty? what if gray and y/n were to get into a fight and y/n leaves. how would raleigh react?

Could you maybe do really throwing a tantrum because yn isn’t here and she wants her and is refusing to come near grayson.

He was dwelling. He hated dwelling, but alas, thats exactly what he was doing, and had been doing for the last three hours since you’d walked out the door for work without a hug or kiss goodbye. 

The fight hadn’t been super monumental, but it was far from pleasant. You were already stressed out with work, and even though Grayson got back from his walk a few minutes late, that was a few minutes too late.

“There you are, what the hell Gray?” You threw your hands up in the kitchen, work bag already over your shoulder.

“I... what? What’s wrong?”

“You’re late, that’s what’s wrong! I should have left 5 minutes ago, but I can’t exactly leave a sleeping 4 year old alone in the house now can I?” You huffed, already moving towards the door to get your shoes on.

“Babe I thought your shift didn’t start until 8, you’ve still got plenty of time to get there.” He glanced down at his watch to double check, make sure that he didn’t have it wrong in his head.

“I have a meeting this morning, at 7:45. That I told you about. Multiple times.”

As soon as she said it he remembered her mentioning it the night before - he may or may not have been too distracted by the fact that she was getting in the shower when she said it. 

“I’m sor-”

“I don’t have time for this right now, I’ve gotta go I’m already late,” you shook your head, grabbing your keys and heading out the door. You almost slammed it behind you but caught yourself at the last second, closing it gently so you didn’t wake Raleigh up.

It seemed like all the women in his life were mad at him that day.

“No.”

“Ra.”

“No.” She crossed her little arms over her chest - something she’d picked up from her Uncle Ethan - and shook her head.

“Believe it or not, it’s not really optional bub. If you wanna go outside, you have to put shoes on. End of story.” He held up the little nike again, which looked like a doll shoe in his large hand. 

“You don’t wear shoeses,” she countered, quirking an eyebrow up. Another Ethan habit. He was gonna have to talk to him about that.

“Remember when you stepped on that bee? And you couldn’t walk for a few days, and daddy had to carry you everywhere? We wear shoes so things like that don’t happen again.” He tried to reason with her, but she wasn’t budging. 

Damn if he hadn’t passed on his own stubbornness. 

She went to run past him again towards the back door and he caught her on instinct. As soon as he had her torso in his hands he knew what was coming. 

A meltdown. 

Sure enough, she started screaming at the top of her lungs, tears streaming as he pulled her to his chest, tried to hold her steady, wait for her to cry it out. But she pushed against him, grunting with the force of trying to move him, something she’d never done before.

So startled, he let her go, trying to ignore the tear of his heart when he realized she didn’t want him.

“Ra, baby hey, it’s okay.”

“NO! I want Y/N!” She screamed, running over to the couch and throwing herself face down onto it. Her little body shook with her cries, but he was frozen to his spot on the carpet.

She’d never asked for anyone but him before. 

There was a fleeting moment of jealousy, but it was immediately washed over by the concern he felt. No matter how much he said he was going to be the strong parent who stuck to his guns, when she cried like that he’d do anything to pacify her.

And he’d watched the only thing she wanted rush out the door that morning, obviously not very happy with him. He ran his hands through his hair, a bit overwhelmed and exhausted at the prospect of trying to calm Raleigh down. 

He took the easy route and pulled up Moana, moving over to the couch to rest his hand on her back, tracing patterns that he knew would calm her down until her tears turned to whimpers and then to deep breaths. She’d cried herself to sleep. He let out a sigh of relief, rubbing a hand over his eyes and laying his head against the couch close to her, hoping she would be a bit calmer with a nap under her belt.

An hour later, she woke up on the wrong side of the couch. Every little thing was a battle, from eating lunch to just sitting in the living room. Nothing was satisfying to her, nothing could soothe her, and all she wanted was you. Everything was just going to hell in a hand basket - he hadn’t remembered a day when things had been this bad since she was teething. It had him on the verge of tears by 6pm, so he did the only thing he knew to do these days. 

hey. I know this morning wasn’t great, and I’m really sorry about making you late. It totally slipped my mind, but thats just an excuse. I’m not sure if you were planning on coming back over tonight or going to your place, but Raleigh has been a lowkey holy terror today and she won’t stop asking for you. You don’t have to come obviously, and I hope this doesn’t come off like a guilt trip, I’m just kinda out of options. And of course I’d love to see you, you know that, but it’s up to you. I love you

Little did he know that you were punching in the gate code and coming up the driveway as he typed. You read it with a frown as you parked - the drive to work had been stressful, but you’d made it to the meeting with 1 minute to spare and the rest of the day had actually gone pretty well. Your annoyance had faded throughout the day and all you wanted was to have a nice night in with your boyfriend and Ra. You’d seen Raleigh on a bad day before, but from the sounds of it she was in rare form. So you braced yourself, threw your bag over your shoulder and headed for the door.

Two identical sets of brown eyes turned to see you, both just as surprised to see you in the doorway.

“Y/N!!!!” Raleigh squealed, jumping up off the couch and running towards you. You scooped her up like usual, giving her a squeeze before you leaned back to look at her.

“Can we do nails now?” She asked, eyes bright and excited. You’d told her that if she was good all week that you would have a little homemade manicure night with her, a chance for Grayson to get some work done, though you knew he’d come in and let her paint his nails if she asked.

“Well miss Raleigh, do you remember our deal? What did we have to do to earn nail night?” 

Her eyes went wide - she obviously thought you had no idea what had gone down all day.

“Um...”

“I don’t think you were very nice to your daddy today. What do you think?” 

She tucked her chin, toying with the fabric of your shirt. “No. I’s not very nice today.” 

“Well then, I think we might need to fix that before we have nail night. Here,” you leaned in to her ear so you could whisper. “Why don’t you go say sorry to daddy and then ask if he wants to do nails.” 

She nodded quickly, wiggling until you put her down. She beelined for where he was sitting on the carpet, throwing her arms around his neck. He caught her automatically, holding her to him, but his eyes were on you. 

“I’s sorry daddy,” she murmured into his neck.

“It’s okay baby. Thank you for saying sorry,” he sighed, pressing a kiss to her temple. You could tell he’d had a long day just from looking at him.

“You wanna do nails wif us?” 

“Nails? You wanna do nails? Only if you promise to paint mine, you do them the best,” he smiled, putting on his best show of enthusiasm. 

An hour and a half later, he was in bed with 9 lime green fingernails (she’d gotten bored and left his pinky blank), watching you get ready for the night. You moved over to him, climbing in bed next to him. You’d barely settled before he was practically on top of you, head buried in your chest and arms wrapped around you, asking to be held. 

You obliged, wrapping him up as best you could, pressing kisses to his hair and running your finger over his bare skin.

“Rough day?”

“Roughest,” he mumbled, kissing your arm when it got close enough to his face. “As usual you saved the day though. I wasn’t sure if you were gonna come back tonight.” 

“I haven’t stayed at my place in two weeks Gray,” you mumbled, nuzzling into his hair before he turned to look at you. “Sorry for being snippy this morning, I was just stressed out.”

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for, it was my fault. Thank you for coming over.”

“I couldn’t miss nail night,” you teased, leaning down to kiss his nose. His eyes fluttered closed for a moment before he looked at you seriously.

“Is that why you came back?”

“No. I’m not mad. Honestly once I made it to my meeting on time I was fine. But if you’re asking if I would have come back for nail night even if you’d royally pissed me off, then yes, I would have.”

He moved then, pushing himself up with an arm.

“Really? Why?”

“Cause Raleigh has nothing to do with what’s going on with us. If I promise that little girl something I’m gonna follow through every time that I possibly can. Gotta show her that I mean what I say, you know?” 

It felt like common sense when you said it, but you would never fully be able to understand how much that sentiment meant to Grayson. The fact that he’d found someone who cared so much about his daughter was the only thing he could have ever asked for, and you gave him so much more.

A bit overwhelmed, he couldn’t find the right words. Instead he ducked down to kiss you, lips rough and demanding against yours. It made you laugh a bit as you pulled him down on top of you.

“Oh that’s what does it for you huh? Good to know,” you teased as he moved to kiss your neck.

“Good parenting principles? Fuck yeah it does.”

[oumaheroes]

I love the btt I love your work pls have some btt I love the btt I love your work pls have some btt I love the btt I love your work pls have some btt I love the btt I love your work pls have some btt I love the btt I love your work pls have some btt I love the btt I love your work pls have some btt I love the btt I love your work pls have some btt

(ik some creators don’t like to be told what to write so I’m so sorry haha) (this is a reply to ur ask u in anon post btw :"")

Thank you! <3

Summary: Even creatures such as they are not immune to mortal time. It is not something Spain likes to think about.

Word Count: 2k

Characters: Prussia, France, Spain

---------------

‘I don’t think this is a good idea.’

‘I think it’s a bit late for that.’

France was angry, shoulders rigid and face set and Spain made a noncommittal noise to appease him without further adding to the insanity.

Prussia was currently half leant over the edge of a bridge, one foot hooked around a signpost pole warning of construction work in an attempt to retrieve France’s jacket, which he’d flung over the side. It had, luckily for both France and Prussia, caught on some iron castings around one of the bridge’s support arches as it had fallen and was now happily serving as a rather gaudy flag.

‘You’ve gotta admit it was funny,’ Prussia came back up over the side and repositioned his foot to give him more length before going over again, ‘Francis, you looked like you were going to kil-‘

‘I don’t think you can reach it,’ Spain cut in quickly, ‘It’s too far down. You can always get another jacket, Francis.’

France turned to him. He didn’t speak for a moment and Spain increasingly felt that maybe France would throw him over as well, ‘Why should I?’ he said eventually, mouth tight, ‘Why should I have to get another jacket or spend the rest of the night cold because Gilbert decided it would be funny to “see how I would react” if my brand new, couture jacket went into a dirty underpass.’

‘You can wear mine?’

‘That’s not the point, Toni.’ France angrily waved a hand at Prussia’s back, ‘He never thinks.’

‘I did think,’ Prussia’s voice was slightly muffled, ‘I thought it’d be funny.’

France clenched his jaw tighter.

If he were honest, Spain didn’t think that Prussia meant to do it at all. What Spain thought had happened was that Prussia had tried to get a reaction from France and make him look silly for panicking but had accidentally let go of the jacket. That, or he’d thrown it further than he’d meant to. Whatever the truth was, Spain was unlikely to find it out.

‘You have no idea how expensive that was,’ France continued, rubbing at his arms to warm himself in the cool autumn breeze, ‘And it is only 12am; this is pathetic, even for you, Gilbert.’

‘I can reach it,’ Prussia shifted his hips further over the wall, his shirt riding up against the concrete wall to reveal the small of his back and the top of his boxer shorts. Spain tugged the shirt back in place and almost received a kick to the face for his troubles, ‘Jesus fucking Christ, it’s not a problem.’

‘It is a problem,’ Spain said, ‘Don’t they have CCTV here? This is Vienna after all.’

‘What’s that got to do with anything?’ Prussia came back over the side properly, cheeks visibly red even in the yellow streetlight from being upside-down for so long. There was dirt on his hands, or perhaps old oil from the metal and when he rubbed at his nose it streaked there, ‘Do you not think I can do it either?’

‘No,’ Spain quickly corrected himself, ‘Yes, I just think that you falling over the side onto that little island down there and cracking yourself open won’t be the best news.’

‘And where have I got to be tomorrow, huh?’ Prussia scowled and came forwards to jab a finger in Spain’s chest, ‘You and Fran are part of the NATO talks. Not me.’

‘No, but Germany is.’

‘So? I ain’t Germany, am I?’ Prussia huffed and hefted himself onto the wall again, hooking his foot back in place, ‘No one’s gonna notice if I’m dead.’

Spain and France shared a quick, loaded look as Prussia manoeuvred his top half once again over the edge. A group of civilians approached along their stretch of pavement, laughing easily in colourful night outfits until they saw what was going on.

One of them, a young man in his twenties, checked the lady next to him was watching and opened his mouth, ‘Er, excuse me-‘

‘It’s fine,’ France acknowledged with a wide smile, his French accent thick under the German. The man sounded nosey more than anything else but the rest of the group looked concerned. France gave them all a wink, ‘We’re having a dare contest.’

The young man’s eyes darted from him to Prussia. The young woman next to him hooked her arm through his and narrowed her eyes, ‘And what kind of dare?’

‘A dare to see how far I can bounce before I die,’ Prussia moved himself still further over, voice straining.

‘He’s joking,’ Spain added, grabbing hold of Prussia’s legs when the group of what now he assumed were students continued to grow even more worried, ‘We’ve got him.’

‘No, he hasn’t!’ Prussia sounded terrified, ‘Help! He’s trying to throw me over! Oh God, I’m too young!’

Spain looked over the edge at him in horror as France quickly stepped forward to speak over Prussia’s howling, ‘I’m sorry, he’s a bit drunk-‘

‘You’re letting a drunk person dangle over the edge?!’

France gave a tinkling laugh that sounded far too nervous to be natural, ‘No, no…’

‘If only I were allowed to live!’

‘Shhh!’ Spain shook Prussia’s leg carefully, ‘You’re panicking them.’

‘Did you hear that? He’s blaming me for not being murdered quietly!’ Prussia gave a loud, very exaggerated sob and slapped the nearest brick, ‘The best one always dies first. I knew it, I’m too awesome to stick around any longer.’

‘Gilbert-‘

‘I’m showing you up too much, that’s what it is,’ Prussia wiped away a fake tear, ‘You’re jealous that even as an ex-nation I’m still better than you.’

‘A what?’ the young lady asked, peering around France who quickly sidestepped her.

‘He dropped his phone down over the ledge.’ France turned around and jerked his head for Spain to pull Prussia back over, ‘And he’s being a bit dramatic to scare you; he’s terrible.’

With a heave, Spain pulled Prussia, who made absolutely no attempt to help him, back over the wall and onto the pavement. Prussia shook his head to clear it and then gave a low, sloppy bow, ‘I hope you enjoyed the night’s performance!’ he said as he straightened with a flourish, ‘But nah, it’s honestly okay. My phone did go over and it’s caught just over the side. It was the new iPhone.’

A collective ‘oh’ and sympathetic nods. ‘Good luck,’ the man called to Prussia as they left.

Prussia immediately went back over the side with a huff, ‘Nosey Austrians.’

‘Don’t make them come back,’ Spain waved them away until they were out of earshot and then grabbed on tightly to Prussia’s legs until he bucked his hips.

‘Get off me, you’re holding me back,’ Prussia gave a chuckle, ‘Loser. You gotta let me fly high and fulfil my dreams.’

‘Or fly down,’ France came to take hold of Prussia’s other leg, ‘And what sort of dreams do you have, anyway?’

‘World domination?’ Prussia pushed himself away from the brickwork to gaze up at them in contemplation, ‘No… tried that. Besting you both at literally everything? Already achieved that… damn.’

‘Hurry up,’ France pinched him, ‘Can you reach the jacket or not. You’re making me nervous.’

‘What for? If worst comes to worst it ain’t gonna be permanent.’

A pregnant silence fell.

‘Oh, come on,’ Prussia sounded angry, ‘Don’t fucking do that.’

‘Do what?’ France sounded honestly unsure, voice light, but his face was sad and he refused to meet Spain’s eye again.

‘You know full well what.’ Prussia bucked again, kicking out at them both, ‘Lemme go. If I fall then I fucking fall.’

‘Gil-‘

‘What?’ Prussia twisted around, hands holding him up on the iron edge of the support, ‘What, I might really die? I might not come back?’

Spain didn’t respond.

‘Fuck you,’ Prussia kicked out again, ‘Fuck both of you. I’ll come back. I’ll throw myself off this fucking bridge just to prove it.’

He didn’t. Prussia carefully stretched out one arm for the jacket, a few inches below his fingertips, but maintained a strong grip on the metal rail with the other, knuckles white and arm shaking with the effort.

Spain wrapped his arm tighter around Prussia’s leg, all too aware suddenly of the warmth of his leg, the solid alive feeling of it. He grinned at France, swallowing back a truth and a future he didn’t want to consider just yet, ‘We could lower him down?’

France frowned and craned his neck to peer over the side without disturbing Prussia’s weight.

‘Drop me!’ Prussia called up at them, ‘I’ll grab it on the way.’

France looked pained, Prussia’s throw-away comment barbed and goading, but when he spoke after a tut, he sounded only coolly irritated, ‘No, your blood will stain the fabric.’

‘Baby.’

‘Says you,’ Spain repositioned himself, feet braced better against the ground, ‘Come on, Fran, let’s use him as a crane.’

‘That’s it, that’s my true calling in life.’

‘You cannot be trusted with anything nice.’ France copied Spain’s stance and they slowly eased Prussia further over the wall, ‘It is my fault, really. I should have known your brutish nature would reject the sight of anything delicate and expensive.’

‘Do you want me to flick it off this thing? Cos, I fucking will.’ A few grunting noises, Spain not looking for fear of upsetting the balance, and then Prussia gave a whoop of triumph, ‘Got it! Pull me up.’

Back on his own feet, Prussia swept the hair away from his head and flapped the jacket at France, who snatched it and hurriedly put it on.

‘What, no thank you?’

‘Why should I thank you? What was entirely your fault.’

‘I almost died for you.’

France huffed and turned away, flicking his hair out of his collar and hiding his face, ‘A stupid consequence for a foolish action.’

Prussia’s expression twisted, something raw and broken that was quickly hidden under a practiced unbothered expression. There were fine lines at the corner of his eyes and across his forehead, marks of mortal time that stayed even when his expression softened into apathy.

Were they new?

Spain ran his tongue over his teeth, feeling out the new need for cautiousness in his chest. It didn’t belong there, for creatures like them. ‘Come on,’ he said, patting Prussia’s shoulder and pulling his shirt straight again at the bottom, ‘Let’s get Francis drunk enough so that he loses that damn jacket.’

Prussia barked a laugh, ‘€50 he gets drunk enough to go looking for Arthur.’

Spain pouted, ‘I’m not going to put money down when you’re obviously going to win.’

France arched his eyebrow, flicking a finger against Prussia’s arm, ‘If we’re betting on obvious wins, then I wish to put €1000 on Ludwig needing to come and take you home.’

‘Or bail us out of jail?’ Spain supplied.

‘Yea yea, “ha ha”,’ Prussia huffed and began walking towards town, ‘Better him than Roderich.’

France shuddered and Spain cheerfully agreed, ‘For you, maybe. But really, both seem bad to me.’

‘For you, we’d call Lovino.’

‘No.’

Prussia cackled and jogged ahead. A taxi was coming towards them, light on for passengers, and he waved his arm at it furiously.

‘He’s skinnier,’ Spain said quietly, feeling France come to stand alongside him to wait and watch, ‘Did you feel it? Less muscle.’

‘Don’t think about it,’ France’s tone left no room for discussion. He took a long breath in through his nose and then out again, things he could not say settling between them both, ‘What good will that do anyone?’

---------------

AN:

Woah nelly, slipped a bit dark there, didn't we anon. I hope you liked it, I wanted to aim for jokey at first but this came out instead. Sometimes, even when you want a conversation to go one way, there is something more serious lurking just underneath.

I'm not sure what to call this one just yet, I'll let it ferment for a while in my heart.

[ssamie]

five. similar routines

oikawa tooru x fem langa!reader

(hq x sk8 the infinity)

warnings: spelling mistakes, swearing, 2k+ words, u have langa’s blue hair sorry 

gen masterlist.            “snow” masterlist.

"you know, oikawa-san.." she started off with a sheepish hum "yes?" oikawa hummed with a smile 

"i thought you were only picking me up so we can walk together." she said 

"exactly. that's why im here" oikawa said with a chuckle 

"so.. why are you in my room so early in the morning?" she deadpanned as she looked at him, as he sat on the foot of her bed "you're here way too early, oikawa-san" she said with a yawn

"well, i thought i'd get to know your mom too since she's also new to the neighbourhood ya know? shes very nice, by the way." oikawa chuckled out 

"my.. mom..?" she sent him a weirded out look 

"hey! not like that!" oikawa shrieked out "if anything, you'd be the only girl i'd have eyes for, FYI" he said with a wink. "oh.." y/n said with a laugh. "well, it's whatever oikawa-san." she said as she stood up from her bed. 

"did you eat breakfast yet? i feel like you have since you're already dressed up and all.." 

"but if you haven't, you can eat with me." she offered as she looked at him expectantly by the door 

"i ate already, but we can have coffee together" oikawa suggested with a smile as he followed her out "oh. but you'd have to make it since i suck at making coffee." she said "oh come on, you can't be that bad" oikawa mused as he ruffled her already messy blue locks 

"i'll drink whatever you make, don't worry" he said 

"okay but i warned you." she replied with a sigh 

oikawa sent one last fleeting glance to her room before he closed the door. he took note of the snowboards displayed by her wall and her skateboard so delicately situated by her desk. as well as the slightly messy collage of pictures stuck to her wall, most of them being pictures of a redhead. 

"oikawa-san?" she called out, looking back to see him lagging behind. 

"oh sorry, i'll be right there, y/n-chan!" 

"this is coffee is probably more bitter than a rotten ballsack." oikawa muttered to himself as he reluctantly gulped down the beverage.

"did you say something, oikawa-san?" y/n hummed with a smile

"i said this coffee is probably better than any drink there is!" he exclaimed

"really??" y/n asked with sparkling eyes "then i'll make you coffee every morning starting now!" she said with an excited smile

oikawa paled as he watched her relish in the compliment with a smile, it's almost as if she was oozing with sparkles."ah.. y-you don't have to.." oikawa stammered out with a quivering smile

"oh.." her smile fell

oikawa mentally gasped and hastily shook his head "no, i take that back!" he exclaimed "you can make me coffee! in fact, you can make me a gallon everyday if you want!" oikawa rambled with in a frantic tone

"okay, oikawa-san" she smiled "that would mean we'd meet every morning too, haha" she chuckled

oikawa froze at the statement and nodded with an accomplished smile. "yup. sounds good!" he said. he then turned away and dramatically cried a single tear. "so worth it.." he muttered as he sipped on the devil spawn of a drink.

"anyways, should we go?" she asked him. "i can leave my board if you want me to walk with you." she said "no it's fine, i'll just keep up" he said 

oikawa hummed to himself as he envisioned the two of them making their way to school. y/n was skating while he holds her hand, the both of them laughing and smiling like two protagonists of a shoujo manga. 

"let's go, oikawa-san" she called out to him as she puts on her converse instead of her school shoes and grabbed her board. 

"right." oikawa hummed as he happily followed behind, watching her get on the board and placing her phone in her pocket. "you'd keep up with me right?" she asks him "i won't go too fast if you want.." 

"no, no. go do your thing, i don't mind~" oikawa cooed with a smile 

"okay then." she sent him a smile before fully skating away and leaving a trail of dust behind. 

"eh?" oikawa blinked in confusion as he watched her skate in a baffling speed and jumping effortlessly over bumps and obstacles. it was so different from what he's seen the first time he saw her skating to school. he was almost certain she was just one of those mediocre skater girls that everyone likes solely because they're pretty. 

"oikawa-san, why aren't you following?!" she yelled from atleast a block away 

"huh? well i didn't think you'd leave me behind like that!" oikawa whined as he ran towards her with a huff "you said to do my thing!" she yelled back 

"right, right, my bad!" he laughed it off as he patted her back "i'll slow down if you want" she offered with a laugh 

"yeah, i'd love that.." 

from his front porch, iwaizumi watched them with an unamused look on his face. "flirting already?" he groaned "its seven in the morning, when will i ever get a break from this?" 

"wow, didn't think you two would get so close so quickly" hanamaki teased as he pointed to y/n who was fixing the nets 

"um can someone help me put this up-" 

"oh that? it was pretty easy" oikawa shrugged it off with a smug grin "she just couldn't resist me and my charms, ya know?" 

"i'll do it for you, don't worry!" oikawa cut her off as he skipped towards her and proceeded to put the nets up himself 

hanamaki sweat dropped as he watched the brunette continue to chat her up while she simply nods along "more like you couldn't resist her.." he sneered. matsukawa joined in as they three in teasing comments to the captain, all while oikawa tries to shut them up. 

"hey, let's eat out after practice, y/n-san" yahaba suggested with a flirty smile 

"oh, sure.." y/n replied, tilting her head in confusion as his face contorts into one that resembles the handsome squidward. "cool. i'll come." oikawa interjected as he stared yahaba down. 

"oh uh- i meant me.. and her.." yahaba sweat dropped 

"yknow what, why don't we bring the whole team!" oikawa let out an obnoxiously fake laugh as he announced the plans to the whole gym. "geez. he's down bad" matsukawa said to hanamaki as the latter nodded along 

"jesus christ, that dumbass.." iwaizumi sighs as he watched oikawa subtly give yahaba more tasks than the others 

"are you free later iwaizumi-san?" y/n asks him as she hesitantly tugged on his sleeve. iwaizumi raised a brow and nodded. "yeah, why? did you need something?" he asked 

"i know i said i'll stop trying but i still wanna know how to play volleyball" she said "can you teach me? coach said you're the ace" 

"oh sure" iwaizumi gave her a thumbs up "but didn't shittykawa teach you already?" 

"it didn't really work" she frowned "maybe you'd be a better teacher". iwaizumi sweat dropped as he heard a dramatic gasp followed by a thud from afar. he didn't even need to turn around to know that it was oikawa. 

"sure, i'll teach you the basics" iwaizumi sent her a grin. "thank you!" she exclaimed happily before walking off and doing her work 

"iwa-chan, you traitor!" oikawa exclaimed as he tried to tackle him down, only to be blocked by iwaizumi's arm. "shut up. its not my fault you can't even teach her how to hit a damn ball" iwaizumi rolled his eyes 

"i can, okay! it's just her..." oikawa chuckled sheepishly "she doesn't know how to hit it properly" 

"huh." iwaizumi hummed "maybe she's right, maybe you're just a shitty teacher." 

"you'll see for yourself!" 

"i can finally play volleyball!" she announced excitedly as she munched down on her food "really? how'd you learn that?" kindaichi mused with a soft laugh 

"iwaizumi-san taught me! he's really good" she said with  sparkling eyes 

oikawa spluttered as he felt an imaginary arrow pierce his chest. "ah.. that's.. that's great y/n.. good job" he squeaked out with a quivering smile. "maybe you're right.. maybe i was just a shitty teacher" oikawa shamefully admitted to iwaizumi 

beside her, oikawa silently sulked as he gloomily nibbled on his burger. "oikawa-san, i can finally serve too" she told him with a smile 

"glad you're aware" iwaizumi snickered. "anyways, i'm gonna go ahead" iwaizumi said as he stood up and stretched. "i have a shit ton of work to do so i'll leave ya guys to it" 

"iwaizumi-san, won't you walk with us?" y/n asked him "we're neighbours too right?" 

"ah actually, sure-" iwaizumi cut himself off as he caught a glimpse of oikawa looming over her shoulder 

the brunette was giving him an exaggerated frown, paired with his 'puppy dog eyes' and even some tears for the effect. its not that iwaizumi was swayed by the expression. frankly, he just didn't want to look at it any longer so he denied. 

"actually.. you guys can walk together. i think my mom needs me now. stay safe though" he said. y/n nodded and waved him off while oikawa send him a grateful smile and a wave. iwaizumi simply flipped him off and waved the rest goodbye. 

"so, anything else you want, y/n-chan?" oikawa cooed as he watched her chomp down her meal 

"milkshake.." y/n muttered with a delighted look on her face. "milkshake it is!" oikawa exclaimed. he then turned to yahaba who was grumbling by the corner and grinned. 

"cmon then, yahaba-kun~ she said she wanted a milkshake! chop chop!" oikawa chuckled. yahaba rolled his eyes but pulled out his wallet anyways. "why am i getting treated like this?" he silently sulked 

"well you were the one who invited us after all" oikawa mused. "i invited y/n, not all of you!" yahaba whined 

by the side, hanamaki and matsukawa simply watched, sneering and laughing to themselves while they ate. "this is gonna be a long night" hanamaki let out a sigh "who cares? yahaba's treating us" matsukawa shrugged 

"i never said that!" yahaba shrieked out 

"how do you feel?" oikawa asked her. "full.." she replied with a satisfied sigh "thanks for inviting me, everyone" she said 

"no problem, y/n-senpai!" kindaichi replied as he and kunimi waved her goodbye "bye guys!" the rest of them said as the team dispersed to their own routes. 

"guess its just us now" oikawa mused as he stuffed his hands in his jacket pockets. "right." y/n nodded as she slowly skated beside him 

"sure, oikawa-san. i'd like that" she smiled 

"let's walk together tomorrow too" oikawa suggested. "i'll invite iwa if you want" 

"this'll be like our routine from now on" oikawa cheered "us three will be best friends in no time" he sent her a  wink 

"best friends.." she muttered "i already-" 

"-have a best friend, i know" oikawa finished her sentence with a laugh "it's fine to have more than one best friend, ya know?" he mused 

"more than one.." she hummed thoughtfully "someone other than reki..?" she muttered to herself 

she looked down at her feet and her board, then back at oikawa and the slightly starry sky. it was quite similar to the daily routine she has with reki. skating together to school, eating out, and skating back home. it provided her a strange sense of deja vu. 

"that sounds nice." she said with a smile 

oikawa smiled back and put his hands behind his head as he walked. "yeah it does." he agreed 

"i look forward to being best friends with you guys" she said 

sorry for the spelling / grammar mistakes if there are any :<

"me too, y/n."

[imlostinsantacarla]

@brideofcthulhu10: Hey hey, I love you imagines and headcanons! So awesome, I love reading them! Could I maybe get some fluff and angst with the boys after getting into a motorcycle accident with their human!S/O. Maybe she's barely alive (of course the boys would be fine) and they have to choose whether or not to turn her, and there's already so much blood.

(a/n: hey love! i can’t believe the queen of writing for the lost boys has requested something from me, ahh! thanks for requesting this, it was awesome to write. i influenced this heavy off of the idea you gave to me, which i’ll be incorporating into the other boys pieces also. i did promise more than 2k words and i doubled it! the whole time i wrote and edited this i was listening to “People Are Strange” from The Lost Boys soundtrack, so i sneakily and vaguely placed it in there, haha. i hope you enjoy this piece! - admin kat 🌙❣)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Title: A Night To Remember (David x Reader)

Summary: A night to remember, so vivid and fun. What in the hell could go wrong? A ride on the back of your boyfriends bike on a familiar street in Santa Carla was never the place you’d thought everything would go south... 

Disclaimer: This was inspired by @brideofcthulhu10‘s post on turning ➡ here. She also provided me with an idea very similar to this one, which I will be basing the other boys parts on also! so without her help i wouldn’t have been able to create this.

Word Count: 4,130

Warnings: GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF BLOOD AND VIOLENCE!!! THIS PIECE CONTAINS DETAILS ON BLOOD, FEEDING, FITS, NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCES, DEATH, TURNING, ETC. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO GORE AND SO ON!!! (Please let me know if I forgot anything else!)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

A glorious high encased you in a giddy box, leaving you slightly lightheaded as you rode on the back of Davids’ motorbike. The swift speed morphed your surroundings into a wind whipped experience, something so psychedelic that no drug in the world could provide you with. The once swaying palm trees became nothing more than tall flashes of muddy brown and muted green as nighttime swallowed their colors within it’s deep grasp. Bleeding them dry of any relevance to you.

The speed in which the pair of you were going was a reasonably hasty speed: Not enough to get you to fling off of the back of the bike, but just the right amount to pull excited squeals from your form. The sound of your imminent joy caused the blond vampire to simper wildly to himself, his own hoots and hollers echoing your elation.

In your very mortal perspective, this particular night had unfolded to be one of greatness. You had spent the better part of the evening on the Board Walk of Santa Carla with your four most favorite people on this entire planet. Nothing was capable of dampening this victorious ado!

Behind the pair of you came the thunderous roars that belonged to a trio of motorcycles, which alerted you that the other boys were eager to catch up. The three motorcycles occupants were wild eyed, animal-like from the high the speed in which they traveled at provided them with. Goofy grins were sloppily plastered onto their handsome countenances as they hurtled towards you and David. Dwayne, Paul and Marko appeared to possess a candid enjoyment from the experience, their shouts of excitement ringing shrilly in your delicate human ears. Anything speed related got these boys to geek out in such a passionate fashion that it almost made you physically cringe in response. Instead you laughed in vivid amusement at them and their antics.

Your primary focus was fixated behind you with the boys and their childish shenanigans of one-upping each other. The sight of them was more than enough to propel you into fits of laughter. David was fully aware of your attention having been stolen by the boys, though he minded very little as his focus was intent on the road ahead of him. He hadn’t exactly bagged on the idea of scanning for anything dangerous, but he wasn’t stupid enough to take his eyes away for a second, - particularly since you were perched on the back of his bike, clutching onto him tightly -.

In an unforeseen flash of one single flickering headlight turning onto the road just up ahead of you and David, there came a shrill screech of rubber on asphalt and a horrendous streak of zooming metal hurtling towards you both on your side of the road! A thick plume of black exhaust thundered from the bikes exhaust pipes. David’s impeccable reflexes were suddenly called into question whilst the man continued to bound on his bike towards you, pushing past 150 miles per hour.

The sight alone caused David to cuss exponentially, his arms yanking the handle bars of his sturdy bike to the right, followed by his full body weight. A millimetre or two was left for the drunk asshole to pass you, the mere wind of it further knocking David’s beast of a ride off balance. The pair of you had almost been smeared road kill across the street.

The bike flung across the road and into a precipitous ditch at it’s side. Trepidation leaped at and swallowed you whole, your mouth agape as you struggled to breathe from the sheer force of the entire predicament. The violence of the bikes movements were so strong that they tore your arms off of David’s waist and threw your body through the air and off to the side, as though you were a piece of trash to be discarded. The entire experience warped your sense of time and reality, causing time to appear much slower than it actually was. You hardly had the reflexes or mental capacity to brace yourself for impact as your body crashed into a large bolder. And darkness encompassed you in it’s death-like wings.

The other boys on the road had barely escaped unscathed themselves, though not before they witnessed the terrifying reality of what occurred to yourself and David.

Maybe it was Dwayne who’d managed to skid to a squealing stop first as he threw himself from his bike, allowing the meaningless hunk of metal to smash onto the ground with a deafening crash. He bounded towards the ditch where David and yourself laid, Marko and Paul hot on his heels.

"Jesus Christ, man!” Paul shouted, slipping down the dusty sides of the hole, barely just catching himself from falling flat on his face. “Oh fuck!” His ocean orbs widened at the terror before him, eyes scanning for you as David attempted to compose his disoriented self. “Where the fuck is she, man?!” The lion’s voice broke as he skidded to a stop, the scent of sickly sweet blood entered his flared nostrils.

During the entire event, David had miraculously managed to stay glued to his bike, a credit to his immense strength. He’d slid to a definite halt with the bike trapping his legs underneath it. His wounds having healed as soon as they had appeared.

As though he were in limbo, the blond leader of the group could hear shouting, though it was impossible to make out who it was coming from and what the context was. The aroma of something sweet and familiar coaxed him from his discombobulated state just like the cool night air flooding around his torn ankles did. He found himself spread flat out on his back, Dwayne and Marko having just heaved his busted bike off of him.

“Oh fuck, man!” Paul breathed out desperately, his wild blond hair in a disarray due to his fingers bunching chunks of it viciously in a stressful pattern. His entire body had come to a stand still, back facing the trio behind him. The typically well-witted and smart mouthed vampire was experiencing consternation at it’s most alarming peak. The poor boy felt as though he was about to vomit on the spot. David slowly followed his gaze and the sight before him created such a forceful pang of rushing emotions to slam into his chest it left him absolutely winded. David knew that if his heart was still beating that it would have stopped altogether there and then.

There you laid, limbs bent in gruesomely awkward angles, surely broken whilst a pool of blood seeped from the rear of your skull. Never in all of David’s existence had he experienced panic quite so potent. This scene was something that belonged in an R rated horror movie, it couldn’t be real! He had to be dreaming. David blinked, shaking his noggin a few times as though it would erase the sight of you all mangled and barely alive.

Before he even was cognizant of his actions, David was by your side, humming brokenly down at you, “No, no, no!” His gloved fingers barely fluttered over your breakable flesh, a newfound fear created in him. He was too afraid to touch in case any amount of pressure worsened your state.

“Fuck!” Marko cursed from behind David, anger pouring from his entire being as he thrust his foot into a large rock to his left, shattering the entire thing into a billion specs of dust. A nausea developed in the other boy, knocking the wind out him. You were one of them! You couldn’t be dying. These string of events never occurred to them any more. It was never meant to happen to you.

Anger encompassed David, vulnerability belting him straight in the gut. His intent wasn’t to shout at them whilst his orbs glowed a fiery red, like the menacing pits of Hell. “Will you idiots get out of the way and shut your traps?!” His voice echoed in the still night. He sucked in an enormous breath before he held it. The scent of your blood was driving him into a frenzy he dared not to jump into. After all, he was pitching to save you, not eat you.

He could recognize that you were beating against the dark currents of unconsciousness to the best of your dwindling capabilities. Though you were unable to move even a muscle due to the phenomenal pain that pulsated all over your body, the loss of blood creating a numb feeling in all of your shattered and twisted limbs. He could hear the wheezing of your lungs as you attempted to keep yourself above the surface. Your fight to keep yourself alive was slipping through your fingers and time was working against David: And for the first time in many years, David felt utterly helpless. His usual ability to make sound decisions was clouded by the shock of the events that had just occurred.

But somehow he managed to swallow the tears that had welled up in his usually acerbic eyes, leaning towards you from a place of love. Love? No, he was a creature of the night so gruesome and cruel- he wasn’t capable of such a profoundly light emotion. Love opened up a brand new door to vulnerability. Vulnerability was something so foreign to David that he had shunned it ever since the woman in his previous life had come to her demise. This hadn’t been the plan. To fall for you, that is. But even as his inner monologue argued with himself, he knew deep down that his feelings weren’t betraying him. He could only do one thing to make this right.

David’s leather fingers peeled the cloth off of your shoulder as though you were porcelain, something so delicate that he could effortlessly break. His beautiful full lips parted as he bent over your dying form, teeth sinking sharply into your shoulder with the mental anguish that if he moved your neck, it would break in two and then you really would be dead. He wasn’t a doctor. He was a goddamn vampire! Who knew what unimaginable trauma could have lurked beneath the surface of your skin in this moment. Based upon his swift assessment on the outside of you, he was sure that your insides were a hundred times worse.

Besides, he was more than certain that biting you ensured the most expeditious way of turning you. His movements were halted, his teeth scraping the splintering bones beneath the flesh. He wanted to ensure that enough venom entered your system in order for it to work it’s instantaneous magic. And thus he pulled apart from you with the silent prayer that he hadn’t been too late.

A brief moment of silence seemed to have etched on for what felt like a thousand years before your breathing halted altogether. David felt hot tears begin to sting at the corners of his eyes like prickling needles. He was too late. Too late and too sluggish to save you.

However, your breath hitched tenderly, the windows to your beautiful soul fluttering open so delicately he almost felt as though he imagined it. The pain that engulfed you was greedy, radiating a searing hot white all throughout your system. The bones in your body cracked and snapped back into their sockets, tiny clicks reconnecting smaller fragments together whilst the nerves in your whole being were signalling to your brain that you were burning up! Then came the shifting of your bones, a dull groan emitting from your throat. The sounds made David feel sick. He hadn’t ever felt guilty before, but now he did whilst he witnessed you begin to morph into what he was. Yet he refused to touch you, an act appearing so cold yet he was doing it all for you. All because he could not stand the thought of the rest of eternity without you by his side.

Instead he murmured sweetly to you, a low humming rumble. A sweet song so encouraging that it almost sounded as though he were pleading with you to stop screaming, because he knew the pain you were experiencing all too well. It’s so vivid and hot. But he had had no other choice. You begged him between gargled breaths, begging him for deaths cold embrace but he was too selfish and could not fulfill this desire of yours spurred on by the delirium of anguish. “The pain will be over soon,” he promised you.

Though something peculiar was occurring, an event that he’d never encountered prior to this very moment. It hadn’t happened to him or the other boys when they had been turned. You were seeming to grow far more alert than previously with each passing second. Your heart having drummed sluggishly before, now it spurted into a bounding gallop until it froze altogether. The choked sob that fell from your now dead lips rung in David’s mind like a torturous gong.

There was no movement coming from you and his hands began to shudder, leather fingers desperately yet ardently sliding across your cheek to brush away the sticky hair from your face. “No! No, you can’t be-” He automatically feared the most catastrophic thing. How could you be gone? He’d bit you! It was supposed to have guaranteed you immortality!

Failure implodes in his brain whilst he slumps back onto his backside, a defeated sigh flowing from his mouth and beckoning his head down. You laid there motionless, crimson having stopped pooling beneath you both. Your eyes were glazed over with the look of grotesque lifelessness. He had failed. Failure had never been an option for him, he’d always kept you so safe. Yet one nightly drive that was nothing more than routine had cost you your precious life. And David wished perilously that you were here with him. Breathing and with your heart beating. He never registered how much he’d miss that thumping heart of yours. He’d grown attached, even though you had been a human.

Red flooded his vision as he cried out violently, balled fist striking the ground as the mighty Norse God Thor would strike his hammer down upon Earth. He was going to find that sorry bastard that had done this to you and he’d rip his limbs off and beat him with them! That David was sure of.

Yet even with his vision induced with the crimson color of his enemies blood, David could not bring himself to rise from the ground and fulfill his imaginations desires. Instead, he sat next to you, eyes never leaving your form whilst grief struck him like a stake to the heart. He’d forgotten that the boys were still there, watching silently as he’d asked. They too felt the devastating grief of having lost one of them. That’s what you had always been to them. You were one of them. Watching you pass on struck them with a feeling of dreadful melancholy. This whole ordeal was heartbreaking.

Suddenly a tremendously deep gasp flooded into your lungs, whilst your arms flailed sporadically and your body twisted in vicious convulsions. It frightened David to begin with, his hands grasping onto your body with purpose, bringing you close with a sigh of relief. You quaked in his arms whilst he cradled you, lips pressing themselves to your hairline on your forehead. “Shhh babe, it’s me.” David murmured calmly into your hair, your terrified form sobbing into his powerful chest, the after effects of your cells dying leaving you delirious. “You remember me, princess?” He inquired coolly, his head cocked to the side as you peered up at him with tear filled eyes. Your were so bewildered with all the intensely vivid sights, sounds and smells, it made your head swim. It sounded as though he were screaming at you. These highly sensitive senses would take some time to adjust to.

“D-David?” You inquired softly, your brow creased sweetly in the middle as it typically did whenever you were scared or perplexed. As if by habit, David’s leather thumb placed itself on top of it, softly pushing down and smoothing it out. You had nothing to be frightened about. He was he with you. He wouldn’t let anything like this happen to you ever again. Yet as his gaze wandered over your face, your orbs darted around swiftly, the burning sensation in your throat driving you wild with an animalistic hunger!

“It’s okay, princess. You’re alright. Don’t be afraid.” He cooed mellifluously down at you, a smile gracing his usually smug lips. Even though you were all covered in your own blood, there was a beauty to you that nothing else could compare to. You were now all his for eternity, and he would never let you go.

“What happened?” You croaked questionably, your fingers darting up to his face at a speed he was not yet used to. Though he allowed your blood covered fingers to smooth across his fare cheek, just this once. Your once welcoming warmth had now disappeared, replaced with a coldness just like his. Although your body temperature had vanished, the warmth of your soul still radiated from you, welcoming him in just like it always had.

“You don’t remember?” He inquired, pushing your blood matted hair from your breathtaking face, his forehead leaning against your own. You shook your head no, to which he swiftly pulled back from you. Eyes ablaze like an inferno. “Some jerk easy pushing 150 came bottling down the road towards us. I had to take us off the road otherwise you’d have ended up being road kill. You weren’t doing so good. I had to turn you, princess.” The way he explained it was soothing, as though he were speaking lowly to a rather confused child. It was certain that you probably still possessed nasty after shocks of a severe concussion, your mind attempting to make logic of the events that had occurred earlier in the night.

“Turn me?”

“Yes, turn you.” A slight edge of derision dripped from his mouth and into your ears, the man didn’t possess a whole lot of patience, though he was trying his best. Besides, any thought of you suddenly wanting to reject your new life created apprehension to ruffle David’s feathers. “You would be dead if I hadn’t have bit you.” He clarified further.

You swallowed thickly in response to him, throat barren like a sandy cracked desert. Your hand brought itself up to your throat, tenderly clutching it to which your lover cocked his head to the side, amusement rampant on his face. He knew all too well what you were going through. “You’re thirsty.” He stated it matter-of-factly.

“Thirsty. Yes.” You nodded in sincere agreement, the sight of your innocence made David chortle before he got to his feet. Yet you remained on the blood soaked ground, staring up at him like a deer in head lights. Uncertainty blossomed in your gut as he offered you his infamous gloved hand to take, yet you hesitated, orbs sweeping around as you took in the other boys shyly. Relief was painted on their faces.

“Do you trust me, sunshine?” David inquired down at you candidly, a lightning strike of mischief twinkling within his blue eyes. Your fingers answered for you, instinctively smoothing over the worn leather on his hand and clutching ever so softly whilst he hoisted you up onto your feet as though you were royalty.

“Yes,” You breathed softly, voice scratching with thirst.

Satisfaction was painted colorfully on David’s face and he leaned closer to you, icy eyes filled with a fiery desire that you’d never encountered in him before. “Then follow me.” He stated, leading you up the steep dusty hill of the ditch with little effort before bringing you back onto the road that had caused this all to occur.

You took in the familiar street you and the boys had always driven down with a new pair of eyes. Everything seemed crisper, tiny details that you had never noted before came popping out. The road was practically deserted since night had settled fully on the small town of Santa Carla. Yet in the distance you could hear a tender thrumming, a melodic rhythm that was all too enticing for your newborn state to resist.

Your eyes captured the teenage girl walking on the cracked sidewalk on the opposite end of the street. She was strolling towards you, her black hair a fluffy pixie cut, swept into disarray by the wind cast from the beach. She smelt of ocean and salt. It made your mouth water steadily. You could tell that her mind was preoccupied, a headset nestled over her ears and a velvet voice oozing from the speakers and into her small ears. Her Walk-man clicked in her small bag strapped to her side. She appeared in deep thought, eyes staring straight ahead, however, she did not seem to notice yourself, David or the other boys. You were meaningless to her, so she carried on walking, safe in her imagination. Her silky skin glowed under the moonlight, head bopping to the music she listened to, her neck bare.

Your throat burned intensely as though a red hot glowing poker was being wedged down it. You couldn’t resist and released David’s large hand with enthusiasm, to which he allowed.

All you were aware of next was being right in front of the girl, terrorizing her out of her contemplation. She let out a blood curdling scream, flinging backwards onto the ground. You could not blame her because unbeknownst to you, you were covered head to toe in blood, your clothes shredded to assorted ribbons and your orbs were a bright orange, face contorted into that of a monsters.

The poor girl hardly stood a chance against you. You did the only logical thing and pounced on her, teeth tearing and ripping into her throat like a savage bear. Streaks of red flooded into your mouth, pouring down her front as you drank her dry. Her headphones were intent on a song, it’s lyrics speaking of the strangeness of strangers when one was alone.

The young girl gargled and fought, nails digging and ripping into your durable flesh, attempting feebly at getting you off of her. Though as soon as she had begun she stopped altogether, falling limp in your iron clad grasp. A bolt of euphoria slid through your veins as you drew away from her. Her glassy eyes stared up at the stars and the moon vacantly. You panted wildly, desiring more. Needing more.

A chorus of boyish snickers came from behind you, alerting you once more that you weren’t alone. Yet you stayed in place, a high overcoming you that rivaled the one that you had experienced on the back of David’s bike. There was an immense part of you that wished desperately for that feeling to stay persistent. It was addicting and already you craved more, licking your lips to take in every last drop of the metallic bitterness of the red elixir.

“Welcome to the club, y/n!” Paul grinned in your ear, his nimble fingers grasping your shoulders comfortingly. He was buzzing with particular excitement. The sight of you utterly comical to him. He understood your desperation though. The desperation for more, to quench the aching hunger of human blood.

“Yeah, welcome!” Marko sneered infamously beside Paul, your head tipping up and backwards to see the blonde duo grinning down at you like hungry wolves. Although they were so nonchalant about this ordeal, you were still basking in the deep glow of your high, feeling nourished already.

Dwayne hung back from the other boys, stood next to David, his hulking hands shoved into his jacket pockets. He had an amused grin on him as well. The sight of you covered in blood almost laughable. As a human, you had always voiced your opinion of how much the sight of blood turned your stomach nauseously. To see you enjoying the experience of feeding was something rather hilarious to the raven haired boy.

You’d now taken the final pledge and thrown yourself into a new way of life. Their way of life. This was where you belonged. You belonged with the band of boys and it was where you would stay, forever and ever.

David stood there, wedging a cigarette coolly between his lips and lighting it. He inhaled the smoke with need, eyes glued to you. Although you had pulled through, there was vengeance brewing in his gut. He’d get the man who had caused this entire incident. He’d get him in the cruelest of fashions. Maybe not tonight, but he’d start looking for him tomorrow. Oh, he definitely would...

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

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[dear-saxifrage]

superlatives of 2017.

i’ve been lucidly alive for too long to not have a running list of my annual fuck-ups, successes, favorites, random moments, memories, and other written memorabilia. my list will include: favorite songs, most underrated songs, most significant musical breakthrough, best jam session, best workout, worst workout. what i have written, my reflections on my work, whatever. it is a working list and it’ll change each year from here on out, but will deliver the same message: my year.

a few notes:

-using Twitter as an online receptacle for my incessant bitching has doubled as an excellent cybernetic way for me to keep track of what i think, do, feel, and exist

-i don’t use capitalization because it’s irritating. but it probably looks like i don’t use capitalization because it’s the sexy new tech writing trend. (shudder).

notes are done.

let’s start quantifying.

using Twitter more consistently

while i have had an account for a while, i never took to it. but my writer friends told me that having a place to vent and to spin ideas is a great space. plus, so much of literary searching is done through twitter. now, all to do is to create a professional twitter and to not tweet seven-word-cuss-outs on it.

the middle of 2016 was hectic as fuck. my tweets are sporadic, focused on form and style. they’re so obviously buttressed by my then-cold and then-hardened interiority. 

poetry

i tried my hand at poetry toward the start of 2017, which i think is indicative of the sleeping beast inside of me that would burst come january 2017. my ezra pound-inspired poetry was actually pretty good. i should take it up again! :) my favorite:

“a pound, a knot. hands at the bakery. lacquered pots greet us as we enter.”

saying goodbye: farewell to the crybaby bitch

probably the most obvious change in what i can see, from my tweets, is my change in priorities. it used to be so focused on trauma: how i am amazed at the now because of the past’s scratchy nails. well, i most distinctly see that i have moved on. yes, i ontologized what happened to me. i theorized, understood, felt, chewed through, and really felt it. then? then i fucking moved on. i did the things to help my brain re-balance itself. it’s chemicals, not you. congrats on being a big girl, sydney.

piedmont house

obviously, the most impacting thing that happened in 2017. in 2017, i moved into the most beautiful house in berkeley i’ve ever seen! in 2017, i wired 2k to a chick i barely knew in between sets at the gym because i was desperate to leave cj’s house. i was resigned to having to live with her, in that pathetic ramshackle on fulton and parker, and just dealing with the ground and a blow-up mattress and dilapidated bathroom floors. but nope -- carly needed a roommate on facebook. she was always the girl from my utopian anthropology class, with whom i did an internship with, but then it all changed. i flew to san francisco, and my rugby friends delivered: ten minutes in berkeley, and a huge denali pulls up to my place. “let’s go.” i was moved in less than four hours, all thanks to the good people who moved my furniture, belongings, (my life), from one house to another house, another room with four walls and a beautiful lofted ceiling, a skylight. 

i ordered a new bed. a zinus memory foam mattress, queen size (or full?). i gave away my futon, left my couch and furry blanket at the old house, left it all, because i couldn’t stand it. i severed myself from all of my old friends, my alleged best friends from rugby. it was pretty lonely, but then god threw down a group of fucking weirdos to me, and i’ve established some of the most secure, loving, and pure friendships i’ve ever experienced.

i know i talk about them a lot, but it’s because i am still reeling. i can’t believe they exist. i can’t believe any of them are real. i always tweet about the viola guy, well it’s because i kinda love him, and i always tweet about our random adventures together, all of us, and it’s because i absolutely love them all.

so that was it, the piedmont boys. boys meaning girls and boys; boys meaning a group of meme-tastic misfits. 

on my last night before leaving for phoenix -- i drove out here, 13 fucking hours through the pitch black night in the empty desert of coachella, indio, blythe, goodyear, stars twinkling gratuitously -- i got hammered at karaoke with my boalt law coworkers. it was fun, certainly. i sang country roads and had yet another cathartic emotional episode because that’s how i am. anyway, i came home, and i was scared shitless because i was home alone, so i called my friend lance -- a piedmont fellow -- and he came over. he just ate his dinner at the table while i showered, packed, got ready. then we talked for hours. talked and talked and talked. and he left me with the most touching thing i’ve ever been told: “you are like the glue between all of us. you have a remarkable ability to connect with other people, and i think you can be the one to show us that it doesn’t have to be hard to stay in contact. that we can live the rest of our lives with each other.”

i still haven’t told anyone about this conversation. it was too pure, too beautiful, for me to retell, i think. i never thought i’d be this person i am now, and for someone to think that i am in such a strong, charged way, absolutely broke my heart. so. cheers to the piedmont boys. thank you for the adventures. thank you for reopening me to the possibility of love and for letting me love you.

concerts

jesus h. christ. this was THE YEAR for concerts. who the fuck did i see? let me count.

-greenday

-panic at the disco

-venice’s baroque chamber group

-chicago symphony

-lorde

-john legend

-hans zimmer

-nobuo uematsu

-yoko shimomura

-tetsuya nomura

-foster the people

-vance joy

-weezer

-THE KILLERS

-cirque du soleil (does this count? lol)

as we can see, i make it a point to have fun. i work a lot and spend my money on tickets because why the fuck not. i have to say, HEARING BRENDON URIE SING A SOLO VERSION OF “BEHIND THE SEA” SAVED ME, and HEARING BRANDON FLOWERS SING “MR. BRIGHTSIDE” blew me away. i felt so grateful. AND, as one would expect, i’ve become an immensely better musician this past year. let’s see.

musicianship

it started with the viola guy and the guitar guys. we wanted to jam, so we did. and i’m not used to people being as competent as me, so it took me by surprise, to have to really use my brain and THINK. it was sexy. i started learning chord progressions, jazz logic, improv styles, how to fill up the space with easy-listening chords, how to pick a melody and play around it. 

piano has been good. it’s not as good as i’d like, but i can play 2/4 16th notes baroque-style without a problem, and i’m pretty proud of that. learning to transpose parallel minors and relative minors from major keys. it’s tough but inspiring: just think. just FOCUS. and you can do it. (can do anything).

singing. oh, jesus. singing this past year was fucking incredible. i had an amazing choral professor who really loved my voice so he worked with me incessantly. gave me solos left and right. gave me a choral scholarship, free lessons, all that. he refined what kuzma (my previous prof) fostered: fine motor movement in the mouth paired with perfect vowel placement. and brandon flowers sang in this style, i noticed, and it proved to me that i can also share music just like him. and holy god, it’s probably my “second puberty” also, but my voice sounds so fucking good. it’s crazy.

transposition. i hear so much better now. having perfect pitch accustomed to a 432 Hz for A instead of 440 Hz for A has really fucked with me. (my piano is brass strings, sounds like a baroque instrument). but i can hear with much better clarity. i play so well. i can harmonize so well. it’s all so crazy. 

i’m done organizing

oh that’s right! i got rejected from peking university in china for my master’s. lol, wow. what a fucking joke.

oh fuck, i also got arrested. possession of that good mj and drug paraphernalia. oh well. charges were dropped. went through TASC. paid 35 a week for drug tests, paid 1k for the ed seminar, paid 1k to the county attorney. record expunged. clean. it lasted from january to august. 

i got a medical marijuana card this year, also. so even though i was drug tested, my card excluded the THC testing. haha.

i ran in santa monica and malibu with my friends, four loko in hand, all to see the sunset at the same time. :) that was a pretty cute moment. we’re all so committed, needlessly or necessarily, to each other. 

i wrote “on a clear day,” which is basically an autobio of 2017, so there’s that. it’s still a little clunky, could kill to be tighter. i need to work on dialogue and sharpness. but overall, i’m pretty happy with the flow.

favorite pissed off tweet: “futures are just slow declines and prolonged extinctions.”

favorite random tweet: “in a world of smooth edges and clean white furnishings there is no room for rocks.”

work

2017 was the year i said no to a full-time offer in research in the exact area i wanted because i thought it would be better to do something that scared me. turns out you should always trust that fine distinction between risk-taking and being an ass. i felt it. now i know what it feels like. 

i was a logistics manager at a startup. it was fine and then it wasn’t. i quit. i worked at boalt law as the marketing director and head of recruitment. i pulled in 15 students to our new hybrid program. how much money did i bring in? 877,000. I almost brought you 1 million, boalt. you’re welcome. 2017 was the year i finally started serving an bartending. this is my favorite job to date. it demands precision, skilled interpersonal finesse, excellent memory, physical strength, humor, disassociation at a moment’s notice, and fun. to me, the perfect people are in this industry -- well, save for the alcoholics. but even in this case, use your own damn perspective to not bow down to the drinks. 

i start a consulting IT/design job in two weeks, and it pays a gargantuan sum of money. excited to start that new adventure for 2018. 

people i’ve dated

this was the year that men gave and gave and gave to me, sydney. i was pretty calm for the beginning, but then i became a chronic dater. didn’t fuck them all, didn’t even hook up with them all. just dated. let dudes buy me food and drinks. held hands sometimes, kissed sometimes, went to a few of their places. let’s see who: chase, riley, miles, jacob, peter, joe, nathan, andrew. most of them ended because i got bored.

jacob, though, is an interesting case. a while back, i wrote an original story about jacob and rachel (obvioulsy) situated on the iberian peninsula (portugal) about love, difference, salt, the sea, and marxism. it’s good. and jacob, the guy i’ve been seeing, researches in portugal, is an anthropology phd, and helped me so much with my own phd applications. i have so much to thank him for. 

i’ve been sort of dispelased with the lack of sex i’ve been having, but in the middle of a sydney rant, my best friend sat me down and said this: “listen, syd. you can get laid RIGHT NOW if you want. but you don’t want it to be that easy. you like to work for your sex. you want it to be sort of difficult, mysterious, built-up. so shut up.” and she was right. after six years, i finally fucked this guy i’ve wanted. he’s my brother’s best friend, and i don’t care. it was the best sex i’ve ever had, and he’s just as intelligent as me, is so sexy. fuck, this fool moaned my name more than i moaned his, and i was so turned on, and it was insane. we keep trying to meet up, but he’s out of town for a few days. here’s to hoping i can see him before i return to berkeley.

what else?

i’ll write some other shit that’s not totally neurotic later on. i still need to compile a list of my favorite cultural arts this past year. but for now, i am happy with this write-up of my year.

oh wait

yes, i graduated with two degrees in anthropology and geography, highest honor in both and a 50-page thesis under the supervision of a nobel laureate in meteorology. that was pretty cool. congrats, syd. you now have a degree from the university of california, berkeley. :) 

until next blog post

peace out. 2017. it has been real, and it’s been fun... but has it been real fun? i think so.