#this is actually old mail but we're rolling with it

[csainzoperator]

hey stranger!

summary: when you accidentally get stuck in an elevator with carlos sainz.

(fem!reader×carlossainzjr)

an: i hope you guys like this for a change. i was supposed to post this on sunday but i got busy! let me know how you like it, or if you want more of such things. also, i haven't checked the word count yet, but i'll update that soon.

trigger warnings: mentions of alcohol, exes, cheating.

read under the cut!

the elevator jolts, making her stumble a little. it's 2:04 am. the building is silent, not a single person around. she's barefoot, holding her heels in one hand, she groans. her velvety dress slightly sways as she tries to steady herself, the lights flickering inside the elevator.

he's in a crumpled white shirt, his sleeves rolled up, his forearms on show as he fixes his hair. his other hand holding onto his suit jacket. he has his tie loosened around his neck, like he couldn’t care less about how he looks.

they exchange a glance that says, well, this sucks, without needing any words. she leans back into the cold mirrored wall, sighing softly. he presses the emergency button, hoping it does something, anything.

"ofcourse." she mutters, "ofcourse this would happen tonight of all nights."

"bad night?" he questions, gazing at her from the mirror.

"you could say that." she laughs, a laugh that lacks any humour, bitter and quiet. "i just broke up with my fiancé. at our goddamn engagement party"

he whistles low, nodding slowly as he processes the information he's been given. "okay. you win."

she tilts her head, looking up at him as she raises an eyebrow "and what about you?"

"my ex is getting married. and she sent me an invite 2 hours ago." he says as he looks down at his leather shoes.

a few moments pass by in silence. but it wasn't awkward, just shared sympathy. she sits crossed leg on the ground, looking up at him. "we've got time." she says, "and honestly i couldn’t give a damn anymore."

he slides down beside her, stretching his long legs out. "fair."

she offers her hand for a handshake, giving him a sad smile that's almost invisible if you don't look closely. "i'm y/n, professional disaster."

he takes her hand, giving it a firm shake, offering her a slight smirk. "carlos, recovering simp."

she snorts, getting comfortable on the floor. "that's the most honest introduction i've ever heard"

the lights in the elevator are warm enough to make a 60 year old woman fall asleep in a second. light breeze from the elevator fan spreads across the elevator. she tries pressing the emergency button again, only for it to not respond, just like how her ex didn't respond to her texts.

"alright, carlos. are you going to your ex's wedding?"

he sighs dramatically, looking up at her like he's about to reveal victoria's secret. "i burnt the invitation" he mutters, like he's telling her a secret.

she chuckles, "well aren't you quite out of a shakespeare play?"

he turns his head, looking at her with a small smile on his face, thinking about how he made her laugh, felt like quite the achievement after her sour mood earlier. "so, did you actually breakup with your fiancé at the party or did you something shakespeare worthy, like throwing wine on him"

she rolls her eyes, looking up at him, disgust evident in her face. "to be fair, he was the one kissing my cousin in the balcony."

his gasps, his eyes widening, "no."

she nods, patting his shoulder dramatically to soothe the shock. "yes. a whole bottle of expensive champagne. worth every second."

he whistles again, clapping slowly. "you're my hero. what do they say these days? eating? yeah, you ate."

she gives him a mock bow, "thank you, i accept cash as fan mail."

they both laugh, and for a moment, none of them remember why the night was bad. she stretches her legs out beside him, nudging his shoes with hers. "since we're trapped in a vertical metal coffin that plays jazz, how about we play 21 questions?"

he quirks a brow, containing a smile. "what are you? in senior high prom?"

she stares at him, her eyes narrowing. "do you have a better option?" he sighs, shaking his head.

she nods at him, "you go first"

he hums, thinking of a question, a second later he speaks up "what's your most irrational fear?"

she groans. "you're gonna laugh at me."

he shrugs, watching her. "i will either way, so just say it"

she sighs. "peacock feathers. they're just, i can't stand them. or peacocks in general, i think they're plotting something against us."

he doesn't speak for a while, he just stares, barely containing his laughter. "mhm, you're so right. we should tell the government to hide all the secrets just in case."

she rolls her eyes as he covers his mouth, trying not to lose it. "oh no, hide your kids, there's a peacock in the forest that doesn't have access to us but its still a threat!" she gently shoves him away, now laughing with him.

"okay. my turn. have you ever ghosted someone?" she questions.

"once. only by accident. i took a nap and forgot to text back...for three months" he winces.

her jaw drops, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "that's not a nap. that's a coma."

"i texted her saying i died briefly."

"how romantic" she teases.

he grins, rolling his eyes. "question. how many people have you kissed?"

she squints, thinking hard. "depends, does my bestfriend's cat count?"

he blinks, "...i don't know how to answer that"

"i'll say four, but five if you count mochi. he was surprisingly an affectionate cat."

he nods, smiling slightly. "uh huh, i'll keep that in mind."

they go on like that for hours, laughing, teasing, opening little doors into each other's lives.

"question twenty one" she says softly, "if we don't get out of here till morning...would you still want to keep talking to me?"

he doesn't hesitate. "god, i hope we don't get out till morning."

the end.

[adachimoe]

Persona 4 - Inaba World Building

Happy New Years!

This is all written up from the lore/setting/etc books that Atlus released for fans, Persona Club P4 and the Golden Premium Fan/Fun Book. I didn't wanna do a 1:1 translation because this is multiple full text pages from two books so this is more like a summary or tl;dr of what's in the books.

I put this under a read more because it's a looot of text. I will probably inevitably edit something later when I realize I made a dumb typo.

General / Meta stuff not in the book that I feel the need to note first

Is Inaba a "town" or a "city"? Inaba is Inaba city (市). The qualifications to become a city are having ~50k residents and 60%+ of the central area being homes. Per the Premium book, Inaba does indeed have 50k citizens. The characters in-game also call it a town/neighborhood/area (町). (Think how in English, we have sayings like "back in town" even when we're not talking about towns?)

Inaba is not a real city, but Atlus lists multiple inspirations for it: Fuefuki, which they drove to randomly and spoke to people; the legend of the Hare of Inaba which is associated with the Tottori area of Japan (east Tottori used to be called Inaba in the past) and is where names like "Yasogami" come from; and "an unnamed developer's hometown" which was used as a reference for the central shopping district and the area around the Dojima house.

A briefer on the Hare of Inaba: A hare tricks a bunch of sharks (wanizame or same) into lining up so it can cross their backs to get to the mainland. The hare is an idiot so it proclaims that it deceived the sharks, and the last shark takes a chunk out of it. Meanwhile, Okuninushi and his brethren (collectively known as the Yasogami) come across the hare on their way to woo a princess. The Yasogami troll the shit out of the hare and makes its back worse, but Okuninushi actually helps the hare by telling it to roll in cattail, and this cures the hare. The hare then reveals it is actually a god, and Okuninushi is given the princess's hand in marriage.

From here on, anything from me that I felt like I needed to note or give my Unwanted Opinion on is wrapped in ( )s.

History

Sengoku period: A feudal lord built a castle on Mt. Yasogami, the highest mountain in the area, and a castle town formed at the base of the mountain. The area was never caught up in any of the major wars or battles of the Sengoku period.

Edo period: After the warring period ended, people began traveling to Inaba because of the hot springs. One winter, someone living in the castle started a fire, it went out of control, and the castle burnt down. The feudal lord's family returned to their old territory and left Inaba.

Meiji period: After the black ships, Japan's opening, Perry, etc, coal was in high demand. Coal was discovered in Mt. Yasogami, people began to move there to work in the coal mines, and this was when Inaba became Inaba City. Presently, many of the people living in Inaba are 2nd and 3rd generation descendants of these coal miner families.

Showa period: During the later end of the Showa era, the world swapped from using coal to using oil. The coal refineries began closing, and by the 1980s, the coal mine also closed, people began to move away, thus leading to the current state of Inaba during the time of P4.

Modern Day

Inaba has around 50k citizens

The city center is a flat area surrounded by mountains called Yasoinaba (so Yasoinaba is a region/district within Inaba, not the other way around)

The local plant is cattail (see the bit about the Hare of Inaba) and there is a lot of cattail that grows downstream on the Samegawa

The local animal is the rabbit and many facilities have rabbit decorations (Namatame's family's delivery service also uses a rabbit with a mail bag)

There has been a recent push to make Inaba Beefsteak a thing as part of the revitalization of Inaba efforts, but... since they have no local cows or beef farms, people don't know where the meat comes from, causing there to be rumors about the meat in town... Atlus notes that it really is beef, but it is unknown where it comes from...

Transport in Inaba

Inaba is sandwiched between other larger urban places (think a metropolis like Tokyo), but the closest one is 3 hours away even by train so Inaba isn't really a place you live in while commuting during the day for work to a bigger city

The only train station in the south part of the city is Yasoinaba Station which is the central/headquarters-like station for the local train line, the Inaba Line

Yasoinaba Station is last stop on the Inaba Line, and the stop before it is called East Inaba. Okina is also somewhere on the Inaba line. (In the opening movie for P4 and in Junpei's story mode in Arena, you can see the *station* sign that says "Next Station: Higashiinaba". However, in the ending of P4, the protagonist boards a *train* that says Next Stop: Hibari. Basically, Higashiinaba is the station after Yasoinaba, but the train presumably skips that stop and goes to Hibari instead. Like an express or a rapid train.)

The Inaba Line doesn't take you to straight to one of the highly populated urban areas. You also have to transfer to another train at the Yasogami Hills train terminal (the protag does this in the opening anime movie)

There are only a few bus routes: Less used ones that go north/south and connects the city area with Mt. Yasogami, and others go east/west and connect Inaba with other cities. (Shu's house, the hospital, the Amagi Inn, and the outdoor daycare are all known bus stops. In Arena, Nanako also takes the bus to the train station.)

Even though most people get around by car, the national highway - access to the outside world - only runs for 300m at the southern edge of the city, and there's no regular expressways to quickly take you to other nearby cities

Overall, people tend to live their lives within the confines of the city

Yasogami Hills and Mt. Yasogami

The mountains in Inaba, with the tallest being Mt. Yasogami, are collectively known as the Yasogami Hills

Somewhere in the Yasogami Hills is a hot spring resort district and this is where the Amagi Inn plus other hot springs are located

The Amagi Inn has 30 rooms, half of which are located in a building detached from the main building so that guests can enjoy the mountains

The ski resort visited in Golden is located somewhere on Mt. Yasogami

The Samegawa

Named after the Hare of Inaba tale and how the hare tricked the "wanizame" or "same"; name meaning "shark river"

The Samegawa runs north and south through Inaba

Downstream to go fishing, upstream takes you to the source of the river on Mt Yasogami

Halfway up the mountain, near the headwaters, is a campsite which is frequented by fishers and outdoors lovers

Upstream, you can drink from the water at the source, but it's too cold to go swimming in even in summer (recall the June camping trip)

It is very specifically a "Class B river system"

Yasogami High School

Name comes from Okuninushi's bros in the Hare of Inaba tale, the Yasogami (Yasogami means "eighty gods" but that was figurative language where 80 means "a bunch", so the meaning is more like "many gods highschool")

Built in 1944 as Yasogami Military School. It was built on Mt. Yasogami where the castle used to stand to deter the allied forces from fire bombing Mt. Yasogami, thus using the school / students as a shield for the coal mine. After the war, it became a normal school, though there is still a plane on campus as a memento of when it was a military facility.

The JP name is 八十神高等学校. The school's nickname is 八高, derived from 2 characters in the full name. This is pronounced "Hachiko". (I think this was removed from the English version entirely, but if you ever play in Japanese audio and wonder why students say "Hachiko" sometimes...)

During the coal mining period, there were lots of students and the two buildings (what we know as the classroom bldg and the practice bldg in-game) were both classroom buildings. After the mines closed -> less people -> less births, they renovated the unused classrooms into vocational / practice rooms. This is how Yasogami High ended up with so many different things in the practice building lol.

There is a small baseball field in addition to the other outdoor facilities. (I don't think we see this in-game)

The book notes that there is not actual rule explicitly stating that girls can't wear a boys uniform (...Naoto is using Air Bud rules...? lol)

You aren't allowed to ride a scooter to school, but according to Daisuke in one of the Strength hangouts (or so says the book; I don't think I've seen this hangout), people do so secretly.

Students have to get permission from school to get a part-time job. They're allowed as long as it doesn't interfere w/studies and the job is age appropriate.

The cultural festival is open to people outside of school, thus it is treated like an event similar to the shrine festival. Businesses from around Inaba also set up stalls at the festival and get into friendly competition with one another.

Many students who graduate from the school tend to stay in Inaba and get jobs there. Attending Yasogami High gives you an advantage / favoritism over students from private schools when job hunting.

Dojima Residence

A house that was built anywhere from a few years to decades ago

It's located in west Inaba

It's not a family home, Dojima bought it

The house has 3-4 bedrooms, exact number not given

The garden outside was started by Chisato, but of course it's been left alone since she passed

If the protagonist eats Nanako's pudding, she will just assume she ate it and forgot about it............................................... (I don't think Adachi would even do this shit.................................)

Junes

The store opened within the previous year

The manager is Yosuke's dad, Yoichi Hanamura

Many students and housewives work there part-time

Students make 690 yen per hr, adults make 900 yen per hr, but Yosuke is worked like a dog for 400 yen per hr (690 yen/hr ended up being the min wage in Yamanashi in 2011)

1F has the grocery department and a line of small specialty shops

2F has the clothing department and home appliances department

The part in July where you find Teddie on a massage chair is part of a special event space where they demo new products. Oh, and the Death SLink, Hisano, wins one of those massage chairs after submitting poetry for Junes' anniversary

The roof has the food court, children's land, and an event stage

1F with the grocery department is open 24/7 and they put out prepared foods every day at 4pm / 7pm / 10pm

The food court has a special called the Ultra Young Set (JP name from the JP slogan) or the Meat Lovers Combo (Eng) that has salisbury / hamburg steak, beefsteak, menchi katsu, and fried chicken; people besides Chie who eat this will be blessed with heartburn. In a dungeon chat, Yosuke wonders if it's made using fox meat since it's so cheap, but it's actually from cows and chickens at farms that Junes has partnered with.

Junes is located in the south area of Inaba and is accessible for people passing through on the national highway, bringing them customers who are passing by, Inaba locals, and even people from Okina

Junes doesn't sell Teddie's favorite snack, Homerun Bars (a real ice cream product, localized as Topsicles in English), so he spends his Junes paychecks buying them at Shiroku

Central Shopping District - South Map

Yomenaido Bookstore: The owner's family name is Yomenai, meaning "can't read". They didn't realize how much of a mismatch their name was for a bookstore until after they opened. At first they were concerned about their business, but have begun stocking books for their own tastes and hobbies, drawing other enthusiasts of certain hobbies to their store. Thus, the majority of books in the store are ones that the average person "can't read". ba-dum-tsh

Daidara Metalworks: JP name is "Metalworks Daidarabocchi", with the bocchi written as a dot (e.g. "Daidara。") Daidara makes pieces of art.

Shiroku Store: Shi and roku mean 4 and 6, and the name comes from an old story about there being a toad with 4 front legs and 6 back legs called the Shiroku Toad. It was originally a pharmacy and medicine seller (the shiroku toad was said to have medicinal purposes), but now the store sells a bunch of whatever. The capsule machine outside was handmade by Shiroku's deceased husband.

Marukyu Tofu: A tofu store that sticks to old-fashioned simple tofu recipes (my opinion here, but I believe this is why it's still around after Junes opened). Run by Rise's grandmother. The people in Inaba call her grandmother "Marukyu" as a nickname (in-game dialogue, the nickname is written differently than the sign on the store). Due to her old age, she has been open less hours and making less product. But once Rise comes back to town, she helps out at the store, and her grandma is back to making more tofu and staying open longer. Rise is in charge of (uhh insert word used in fishmongering that seems to express Rise is in charge of selling?) the first batch of tofu in the morning before school, leading to male customers lining up early.

Central Shopping District - North Map

Souzai Daigaku: The name means Side Dish University. It used to be a lingerie store until the new owners took over. They made it a butcher, then converted it into a store that sells prepared foods that are "a taste of mom's home cooking". But in a small place like Inaba, people aren't exactly nostalgic for that, compared to the big city. The owner later added beefsteak skewers to the menu, claiming they're 80% beef, 20% something else, thus fueling the "what is the meat in Inaba?!" conspiracies. Due to its cheap prices, it's popular with students.

Marutake: A small hobby shop where the protagonist receives Gundam / Avatar Turner reference plastic models to build. The owner works on farmland during the day and his daughter attends Yasogami High.

Aiya: It used to be an oil store, but now it's a Chinese restaurant claiming to be authentic Shanghai style food. However, the owner is a Mr. Nakamura (hence why Aika in P4 anime's last name is Nakamura) who was born and raised in Inaba. On rainy days, Nakamura serves the Special Meat Bowl which has 3kg "meat" and 3kg rice. The meat is pork (the dish isn't called the Mega Beef Bowl in JP), but when asked what it is, Nakamura replies that it's "authentic Chinese cuisine: sheep head and dog meat" which is referring to the expression "selling dog meat under a sheep head", a saying about selling misleading products. (Btw, the owner speaks in Kyowago, saying Aiyaaaa and ending his sentences in "aru". But during say, Kanji's Social Link, he drops the act. So yes, he is LARPing as a Chinese guy.)

Tatsuhime Shrine: The deity enshrined is Toyotamahime, who's true form is similar to a wanizame (refer back to the hare of inaba story), and story is similar to that of Izanagi and Izanami. She protects against water-related disasters (she comes from an undersea palace) and offers safe childbirths (her story involves her giving birth to Hoori's child). The fox that lives on the shrine grounds heals with Inaba's local plant, cattail.

(If you are wondering about the fox in general, the fox statues at the smaller sub-shrine suggest it is dedicated to Inari Okami, so the fox IMO is a messenger of Inari - not literally, but hey. The red apron/bib it wears is based on the red votive bibs that you find on statues at shrines to ward off evil spirits.)

Tatsumi Textiles: An older store from the Meiji era, from when people used to dye fabrics in the clean streams of the Samegawa. The previous owner, Kanji's father, was a famous dyer. (I believe this is why the store is doing well for itself despite the Junes invasion.)

Konishi Liquors: Saki and Naoki's family's store. Saki was working at Junes as she thought the experience would one day help when she takes over the liquor store. They had been doing poorly lately, but a lot of people began visiting out of sympathy after Saki's death. The store is named after former battle planner and now composer Toshiki Konishi whose family owns a liquor store called Konishi Liquor. The name was used as a placeholder during development and it ended up sticking. (Thus, the YouTube comments on Konishi's remix of Fog talking about "remixing a song that your killer dances to" are kind of on-point...)

And now for the non-Inaba locations visited during Persona 4, because those were included in the Town Guide too lol

Tatsumi Port Island

Kashiwagi books the class to stay at Hotel Hamaguri, the renamed version of the love hotel from Persona 3. Instead of a love hotel, it's now a regular hotel. (The decor, however...) Teddie appears on the building opposite the group and impersonates Takaya with two cats as his Jin and Chidori (Teddie even gets a weapon called the Strega Claw lol)

Two years ago before Rise made it big as an idol, she had an invite-only / secret live at Club Escapade. Due to a power outage, they had to cancel the show. This was caused by a mechanical failure and was not the night when SEES fought the Hermit Shadow. (IIRC, Shinji mentions the club had issues with the power -- due to the Hermit Shadow -- leading up to full moon mission, so it might be that?)

Club Escapade quit serving alcohol last year to protest drunk driving

Akinari's book, the Pink Alligator, was published after Mitsuru found it among a certain person's things. True to the story itself, people like it, but no one knows who the real author is...

One of the Kirijo Group's companies is Kirijo Telecom. Dojima's cell phone service is through this company. When he calls Nanako on November 5th, he gets an automated message about her phone not being unavailable from "KJ Telecom", with KJ standing for Kirijo.

When Naoto takes everyone to the hospital in October, she mentions she has read documents about Personas and Shadows. These are thought to have been leaked from a Kirijo Group research lab.

Okina City

Okina is to the north of Inaba, separated from it by Mt. Yasogami

It has 250k people

Okina was originally a city built around a large shrine

Known for having good water

Used to have a papermaking industry

Recently it became very industrial due to companies making factories there, then the workers and their families moved in, so the shopping mall around Okina Station was built with new retail stores, etc etc

(The station at Okina has a sign for the "Inaba Line", indicating that the local train line goes south from Inaba, to East Inaba, then ???, and then north to stop at Okina I guess?)

Shichiri Beach

Not much to note here except that it is a beach within a distance that high schoolers could realistically access via scooter lol

[kremlin]

"This event ends the moment you write us a check, and it better not bounce, or you're a dead motherfucker" -- Big Bill Hell

There was a time when you'd see little old ladies paying for the groceries with a hand-written personal check, holding up the line, causing an immediately-forgiven slight sense of annoyance with those behind her. Buddy. Those days are over. They've been over. What, did you think you were going to just pop a couple extra zeroes on the end of your paycheck there? Maybe scan your paycheck, open it in photoshop, make a template, print em out all nice? You think you're the first to think of that, dipshit?

It takes the law a long time to catch up with the state of the art. You're reading this on the internet, which means you never use checks. The law has caught up. Your ass will be going to prison immediately and you will see zero return.

You can't even kite checks anymore, and hell, nobody under 40 will even know what that means, due to the blazing fast, two day settlement on all ACH transactions. Let me paint you a picture.

You get paid on Friday, but it is Monday, and bills are due on Tuesday. And you're broke: $0 in the bank. Goose egg. Pop open your checkbook, go to a store, "buy" some things, write a check for the amount. The cashier takes it!

Now take those things you "bought", across town, to another store location, and return them for cold hard cash. Sweet. Bills paid. Friday rolls around, and you just make it to the bank to deposit your paycheck before it closes. After the weekend, the checks you wrote finally post, and they don't bounce! You've kited a check. You've surreptitiously taken a zero-interest loan. And we know your broke ass. The interest rate on that short-term payday loan should have been straight up usurious. We're talking 29%. That makes predatory fuckers like us horny for sex. We're so mad. Now you are going to Federal Prison. For a good minute. Fuckface.

COST: $0.10 (With banks offering free checking accounts + Bic pen)

"Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor sleet, if you fuck with the mail, we'll rip your nuts off" -- Ronald Mail (Inventor of Mail)

Many people have this misnomer that the most powerful people in politics are democratically elected. The president, of the United States, of America, is a stupid cartoon hotdog. All of them, I don't care. Way less clout than you'd think. Brilliantly, it is the people that the hotdog president appoints who are actually doing anything significant. The director of the CIA. The fucking chairman of the Federal Reserve. Probably the, like, most senior, uh, general of the military, and shit too. I don't know, we don't "do" army here at Bloomberg. You probably don't even know their names! I don't! These are the ones you should be seeing in your sleep.

There's another position like that. Appointed directly by the hotdog. The Postmaster General. That's a real title. He's the CEO of the mail, and buddy, what he may lack in political power relative to the director of the CEO, he makes up in raw sexual energy. Total Tom Selleck energy. Like an airline pilot. We're talking Donald Sutherland in Invasion of the Body Snatchers. I'm tentpoling in my black business slacks just writing this, and all my Bloomberg newsroom bros are peering over my shoulder and also tent-poling. We're not gay though, and especially me, I'm probably the least gay, but sometimes I just lay awake for hours at night what that mustache would feel like pressed against my lips, the unbelievable and utter, total sense of security I'd feel burying my head into his hard chest.

You get it. He's your dad. And if you fuck with the mail, you've fucked with the tools in your dad's garage. And dad's been drinking. You're in for it, bucko, you are in trouble. Do you think the United States Postal Service actually makes any money? Hell no. It costs like five bucks to mail a box basically anywhere I can think of and they give you the boxes for free. You can just walk in the post office and take them. I do that, and then just throw them away, I don't know why, some kind of compulsion. Being able to move shit around like this, quickly, cheaply -- Jesus H, I've got a huge amount of money in my bank account, probably tens of trillions of dollars (due to financial knowledge gained from reading Bloomberg articles) and I could probably mail every single person ever something and still come out in the black.

No way pal. They've thought of that already. The Postmaster General is going to know every time, and he's going to grab you by the shirt collar, wearing his cool as fuck hat, and you're going to get your pants pulled down, and your bare ass spanke...I need to go use the restroom real quick.

We rely on the mail system to get important shit done. It's not something to be taken lightly, and it isn't. Trust me. This is why, like almost every other person who receives mail in this year 2023, I just fucking put a wastebasket under my mail slot. I don't even shred that shit anymore. I just burn it. Takes less time.

COST: $0.63 (Postal stamp)

"Can call all you want, but there's no one home // And you're not gonna reach my telephone // Out in the club, and I'm sipping that bubb // And you're not gonna reach my telephone" -- Lady Gaga

I read something wild that the children of today do not know what a dial tone is, because of how fucked up and stupid they are. Isn't that super fucked up?

While it's not really our style, allow me to fill you in on some ancient, arcane knowledge about the telephone. You can turn it on, and then you can punch in numbers. Any numbers. Random ones, or maybe not random ones. If the ten numbers you punch in are the same as the numbers in someone else's telephone number, their phone will ring, and then you are talking to them. This is called "Phreaking".

Here's the kicker: You can tell that jackass anything you want. "Oh, Hi, Yes, I am Reginald Sumpter calling from Avalon Consulting LLC, we are just following up on the invoice we sent you. Please remit to ###### routing ###### account."

BOOM! Your name isn't Reginald whatever and that company doesn't exist, but you just received a deposit. It's fucking beautiful. What have you done wrong? It isn't your responsibility to handle who your business' clients/etc are, it's their's. If they want to just pay you money for no real reason, well, that's kind of on them, isn't it? I haven't stuck a pistol in your face and demanded everything in the register.

Well, it's too clever. It's too slick. This is the United States of America. It's one thing to commit a felony like armed robbery, it's another thing to piss off someone in charge of the accounting division who uses a special bathroom you need a key to get into.

You can do it on the computer too, I use a PC Computer at work and send email, so you can see how it'd work there. You can make a document that is indifferentiable from a real invoice and, straight up, 1/3 of the time they will pay that shit. Lmfao.

It's called wire fraud because, uhh, duhhhh, there's wires. What do you think that thing is strung between the telephone receiver and the dialer? And computers? Give me a break. There's so many wires with those.

COST: $0.25 (Coin for payphone)

"People calculate too much and think too little." -- Charlie Munger

It is insane how dumb the common man can be when it comes to our world of expertise. I hear this same sentiment, like, ALL THE TIME:

"Durr hurr I will buy an insurance policy for my car or house or whatever so that in case something happens to it I will get money". And then that same person proceeds to drive safely or not burn their house down. Dumbest crap imaginable.

Let me break it down for you. Insurance is a two player competitive game. There is a winner and there is a loser. Go take out an expensive insurance policy on your American sports car. Buy a neck brace, a football helmet, and pack that bitch with throw pillows. Then get in the left lane of a major highway at like noonish, let it rip and then SLAM on your brakes. Hit from behind! Your fault! Congratulations. You have won insurance. How this gets past people is beyond me.

You can only do this once or twice before the insurance companies catch on. Then they don't want to fuck with you. It is also..I don't know man...something feels off about taking a car or a house, which like, some guy had to build and just destroying it, but that is only a weird emotional thing, since you're making money, more than whatever the destroyed thing is worth, so in reality you've built that house plus some extra. You've contributed.

COST: $106.00 (Average monthly car insurance payment)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

SUBSCRIBE TO MY WHATEVER FOR PART TWO, COMING SOON. i'll post it later today probably. whatever time frame will juice the numbers. have a sneaky peaky

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[howlingday]

Ok but imagine what would happen if Loid and Perry teamed up? No one could stop them.

Okay... Time for something new...

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AGENT T

A Phineas and Ferb/Spy X Family One-Shot

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"An extended conference overseas?"

"Yes, it's a sort of outreach programs between different countries to share different psychiatric methods." Loid explained to Yor. "I'm sorry this is so last minute. I will try to call you as soon as I get back."

Lying to Yor felt wrong, but it was a necessary evil in his life as a spy. The truth was that he was assisting in a joint operation with a foreign intelligence agency, though the whole thing felt like a bad joke to him. Whoever heard of a spy agency under the title of "The Organization Without a Cool Acronym"? Regardless of his feelings, his mission was clear. He was to rendezvous with the agent known as "The Platypus" and provide backup as required.

"Papa?" Anya, his daughter, pointed to picture in her book. Coincidentally, it was a platypus. "Is this a plassapess?"

"No, it isn't." Loid shook his head. "Just because I'll be gone for a little bit doesn't mean you're allowed to shirk on your studies. I expect nothing less than perfect marks when I return home."

"Aw..." Anya groaned.

"Loid, where is this conference being held?" Yor asked.

"I wasn't given the exact details myself, but it's in a region known as the 'Tri-State Area'."

--------------------------------------------------

"And that's about the gist of the assignment, Agent P." Major Monogram said through the video screen. "Find out what Dr. Doofenshmirtz is up to and put a stop to it!"

"If it's evil, sir." Carl's voice said off-screen.

"Yes, yes, if it's evil, put a stop to it." Major Monogram rolled his eyes. "We're counting on you, Agent P."

Perry the Platypus gave a salute and left the briefing room.

"I thought the evil thing was implied, Carl." Major Monogram grumbled.

"It doesn't hurt to be sure, sir. Words can be confusing."

"Not as confusing as this finger trap." The major lifted his hands to reveal his fingers had been locked in a threaded snare trap for fingers"

"Did you put your fingers in that trap again, sir?"

"Carl, we've been over this; if I don't do it myself, then how will I learn when I need it most?"

--------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, in the middle of a city in the tri-state area, at an oddly designed building with the logo, Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.~, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz heard a knock at his door.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" He opened the door to an elderly man delivering the mail. He was fragile and hunched over. In his hands was a clipboard and a large parcel behind him. "Oh, look at you! You're so old! Why aren't you retired yet? Here, come inside and rest for a bit. I can show you what you're delivering is being used for."

The elderly man hobbled in, his left leg limping with every step. He mumbled something alike to a thank you before being seated on a large loveseat inside a laboratory. Unknown to the oddly kind-hearted doctor, the old man was actual the legendary Agent Twilight in perfect disguise. In front of him was a massive ray-gun of sorts, like in the cartoons Anya watched, with a scope and a trigger beneath. At the tip of the barrel was a missing component.

"So, you're probably wondering what it is I'm building with a mind-tapping helmet." He held out his hands. "Oh, I'm a little rusty. I usually save these backstories for my nemesis, Perry the Platypus, but here goes." Through Agent Twilight's perfect mental imagery, every word spoken became a clear picture of the very sad and tragic backstory of the target. "You see, back when I was growing up in Gimmelshtump, it's a town in Drusselstein if you didn't know, my grandparents would always say something, but mean something else. Like, they would tell me to wash the ham, but what they really meant was marinate it, but it was one of those old sayings that grandparents use and, me being a child, I didn't know what they really meant because I'd only heard it said once." He ripped open the parcel, was handed the mind-tapping helmet, and held it to the device. "And that's when I came up with this! BEHOLD, THE SAYWHAT'SONYOURMIND-INATOR!" He then climbed his way to the apex of the machine. "With this inator, people will say what's on their mind and mean what they really say! Like, say your friends want to hang out and, I don't know, do old person things, like play cards, but the way they say it makes it sound like they want to sleep all day, so they'll say what's on their mind! Here, let me try it on you!"

Faster than Agent Twilight can react, the nefarious doctor was already on the ground and using his weapon on him. He was then hit with the powerful radio waves the machine emitted. He blinked.

"I don't feel any different." He said aloud. "Did this mad scientist's machine really work-" His eyes widened as the doctor laughed for a moment.

"Hey, who are you calling a mad scientist? I'm not mad. I mean, I'm mad now, but I'm not always mad." He looked to the platypus climbing out of the parcel package. "Perry the Platypus, tell him I'm not always mad." The platypus in the fedora chittered. "See? He gets it." At this, he gasped. "PERRY THE PLATYPUS?! Wait, were you able to hear my backstory while I you were inside the- OOF!"

Perry punched Dr. Doofenshmirtz, sending him stumbling backwards into his machine. The machine fired off in a random direction before being taken into the hands of its creator.

"There's no need to fight me, Perry the Platypus. Why don't you just-" He fired the inator on Perry. "USE YOUR WORDS! AHAHAHAHA~!"

Perry winced at the sudden radio waves bombarding him. He blinked a few times. He was looked at expectantly by his nemesis.

"Chkchkchkchkt."

"Oh, right. You're a platypus." He then pressed a button on his inator and a net flew out and ensnared Perry. "But I planned for that!" A punch flew in from out of nowhere, knocking the doctor over with his inator. Standing not far away was the old man from before. "What are you doing, Old Man?"

"My name," the mask ripped, revealing the spy, "is Agent Twilight, and on behalf of the good people of Westalis, I order you to surrender your weapon."

"Westalis? Where is that? Is he with you, Perry the Platypus?"

"Chkchkchkchkt."

"I won't allow you to threaten the good people of the world with this strange contraption." Agent Twilight said, fully removing his disguise. "Especially while I am assigned to this joint operation."

"Well, I didn't really have anything planned for someone bigger than Perry the Platypus, but I did have this in case he escaped!" With a push of a button, another net of ribbon spewed forth. Unfortunately, the new agent was too fast to be caught and rolled his way over to Agent P, where he easily ripped apart his bindings. "No, no, don't do that! That is so unfair, fighting two against one!" He groaned. "Of all the days for Norm to take one of his 'mandatory vacation days'."

This vacation day in question included going to the mechanic for a semi-spa treatment involving oil, rags, and oily rags. Back to the fight, Agent Twilight kept the doctor on his toes, swinging fist after fist, easily overpowering his opponent. Meanwhile, Agent P was altering the inator by turning the mind-control helmet around so that the machine would reverse its effects.

"I cannot fail here. I cannot allow my emotions to get the better of me. I must keep on my toes. I need to keep applying pressure and overwhelm my opponent with quick, but meaningful strikes."

"Ugh! I regret hitting you with my inator." Dr. Doofenshmirtz groused amidst his thrashings. "Why can't you be more quiet like Perry the Platypus?"

"Chkchkchkchkt." The OWCA agent chittered from atop before swinging the inator around and firing it on himself Agent Twilight. Agent P patted himself down before giving a thumbs up to his fellow agent from afar.

"Oh, finally! I didn't think you would ever stop talking!" Dr. Doofenshmirtz groused even more.

Agent Twilight was about to go in for another punch when he was dragged away by Agent P. Looking back to the inator, he saw that there was a self-destruct device placed at the device's weak point. Jumping over the balcony, Agent P held tight to Agent Twilight, the two silently gliding through the air to a safe location. On the winds, they could hear the defeated shouting of their shared nemesis for the day.

"YOU DON'T NEED AN INATOR TO KNOW THIS, BUT CURSE YOU, STRANGE OLD MAN, AND CURSE YOU, PERRY THE PLATYPUS!"

A GENT P~!.

--------------------------------------------------

"Excuse me, is this your platypus?"

"Huh?" Phineas turned around to see a man standing in their yard, holding Perry in his hands. "Oh, there you are, Perry!"

"I found him wandering around in your front yard, and I thought it was odd to see an animal so far from their home."

"He's not far from his home, he's simply living in a new home away from his natural habitat. We feed him four meals a day, plus treats, and give him as much comfort as possible." Ferb explained in excess.

"Oh, I... see..."

"Yeah, sorry about Ferb." Phineas explained. "He's been a lot more talkative than usual today. It's almost like some kind of radio wave went off and made him say everything that was on his mind."

"That's... quite an imaginative explanation." The man said. "But maybe this will help. I specialize in psychiatric help and this device helps ease those affected by 'radio wave' abnormalities in humans."

"Oh, you mean like brain stimulation therapy?" Phineas asked. "Isn't that controversial?"

"Yes, yes, it is." The man quirked his brow. "But I believe it may be the best way to help your friend."

"Oh, Ferb's not my friend. He's my brother!"

"Ah, excuse me. Now, may I use my device. I promise no harm will come to your brother."

"Well, okay, if you say so." Phineas stepped aside and let the man hold the device up to Ferb before pressing a button. Ferb blinked a few times before the man placed the device in his pocket. "How you feelin', Ferb?"

Ferb gave a thumbs up.

"Hey, it looks like it worked! Thank you, Mr... Huh? Where'd he go?"

--------------------------------------------------

"Papa! You're home~!" Anya cheered, running to the door.

"You're back already?" Yor asked. "I thought you'd be gone a lot longer, considering how far you were traveling."

"I was offered a trip on a much fast return flight than the one prior." Reaching into his doctor's bag, he pulled free a plush doll in the shape of a strange creature with a duck bill, a beaver tail and feet, and a strange greenish-blur fur color. "Anya, I found this on the way home. I remember you being curious about platypus before leaving, so I thought you'd enjoy this."

"Thank you, Papa!"

"Oh, that is so cute~! What are you going to name him?"

Anya thought for a moment, then noticed a certain look in his eyes. It was the same look he held when he was in thought of something. Focusing on him, she heard a name said over and over again.

"Percy the Plassypess?" Anya smiled, tossing her plush in the air. "Yeah! Agent Percy the Plassypess~!"

[kydrogendragon]

"Where'd you find this?" Hob asks, picking up the old, rather brittle leather case. He smiles, rubbing his thumb over the scratched and faded color.

"Up in the top of the closet." Jo sighs and sets down the tall stack of old boxes onto the kitchen table. She crosses her arms over it and rests her head against them, groaning as she stretches her back. "Christ, Hobsie, I don't even know how you fit so much in there. And I still haven't found that old bag you claimed to have in there."

He snorts, flicking open the snap button on the case and pulls out the now very outdated Kodiak camera from its case. He runs his hand across the metal shell, feeling warmth well in his eyes as memories flood through him. It's been ninety years now since he first got this thing. Nearly a century. He might not have any working film for it, but he's certain it would still work as good as the day he got it.

Hob clicks the button on the top, letting the front lens pop open. He trails a finger over the folded bellows. Maybe he's just nostalgic, but there's something charming about these folding cameras. Sure, modern-day ones can take spectacular images. Lots easier to use than film. And cheaper. But these feel more...alive. Maybe he likes these for the same reasons he still prefers vinyls over streaming music.

Or he's just old.

"That's neat," Jo says, pulling Hob out of his thoughts.

"Yeah," he says, tilting the viewfinder straight and peers down at it. Jo's face reflects back at him through the fingernails sized glass. He dials in the lens, sharpening the image. "It's my old camera. First one I ever got. Definitely used a village's worth of film in the first few years. Peggy got a kick out of it, though she did scold me after I kept taking her picture early in the morning. Said she wanted to be remembered not for her morning hair and bad breath but for her taste in clothes and skilled use of a curler.... Didn't touch it much after the blitz." He works his jaw, taking a breath as he does so. It's been a long time since he lost her, but the sting is still there. Still...raw. Especially holding items like this.

"Sorry, Da." He waves her concern away, sniffling back the sadness.

"Want it? I bet if you managed to track down some film, it'd work. Maybe Rachel would think it's charming," he says with a wink. Jo rolls her eyes, but takes the proffer camera from his hands.

"Well...it is pretty cool. Bet I could clean this case up. Got that leather kit for my docs. I bet they'd work on this too." He watched with a soft smile as she fiddles between the case and the camera and his heart squeezes in his chest. It's small thing like this, he realizes, that he missed with Robyn. Passing things along, having them gain new life in the next generation. Even if Jo's not his by blood, she's his daughter, even if she grumbles about it. Christ, he's gonna tear up again. He doubts she'd believe him if he blames it on the dust.

"Right!" He says, clapping his hands together. "Clearly that closet's been neglected for too long. Here, I'll help sort through some of thing. Maybe we can actually get it organized."

Jo laughs as she sets the camera, now secured back in its case, on the coffee table in the living room. "Very optimistic of you. That's a weekend long chore at the least."

Hob lifts the lid on the nearest box and groans internally at the mess of clutter and paper inside. Jo's probably right, but that doesn't mean he'll give her the satisfaction. "Well, we can get as far as we can then. Maybe we'll even find that old bag while we're at it."

A few weeks later, he gets a letter in the mail with a small stack of photos of Jo and Rachel taken on that very same Kodiak. Hob sticks them on the fridge with a smile next to the old photos they'd found all the way back from 1937 of him and Peggy.

[crsssie]

from one admirer to another : new years?

pairing: leon kennedy x reader || masterpost: from one admirer to another

synopsis: from one admirer to another, an online penpal service, allows for two people with common interests to write to each other without ever revealing their actual address! Luckily for both you and Leon, you get matched up! What do eggs and Christmas even have in common anyway? sure hope it's that modeling business and NOT that Ada Wong addiction.

featuring: reader as scrambled eggs // leon as christmas

Christmas...

SUNNY'S SO CUTE AUGHHHHHHH... I drew a twitter mental breakdown emote trust me I'm going through it. Sunny looks so cute. My roommate and I have a black cat called sesame bun, but she doesn't register on polaroids or film so I cry a little each time I see photos of her. Wish I had your number so I could send you photos of her, but that's against FOATA policy, so... oopsie.

You forgot to get their number?? That's an insane thing to say. How do you just casually— okay, well, on that topic, I forgot to get the number of the dude I was making out with on new years as well. It doesn't help that I was so drunk that I barely remember what he looks like. All I know is that he was hot and at the same new years party as me. I don't even remember what he called me. He was just so... hot. Okay, sorry, this isn't about me. This is about you. YEAH. I'M SHAMING YOU FOR NOT GETTING THEIR NUMBER (joke) And, yes, you used it right)

We're friends. I promise lol.

I live with my best friend! We're actually day ones and when she started working her current job, I was there with her at her first event. I can't say too much about her, but we've lived together ever since. I'm like... her stay-at-home best friend? Something like that. I earn less than she does, and she bought the whole apartment with her first paycheck, so now I just do everything that a husband would. Basically, I cook and clean on days I don't work and I dry her hair for her after her showers.

She helped me a lot (well, I live in her apartment so there's that) and I just love her so much :(.

The other two in our little group in high school also went into the same industry as her, except in different directions, so we see them every now and then. Sisters before misters or whatever. She and I are 4 lifers.

As for stuff about me... not too much to say. I told you all of my defining factors already. Sesame bun was adopted when we first got the house, so she's like four years old now. Cute little girl. I attached a keychain I ended up winning from another Ada event. I have one already, so I figured it would be better in your hands.

Hope you get that model's number, scrambled eggs

You seal the letter and toss it on your bedstand by your phone and head to the kitchen instead of bed because 1. you're hungry, 2. you're hungry, 3. you're hungry. You want a quick snack.

"Hey." Ada raises a brow at you at the sight of your laptop in hand. "Killing half of your reading population again?"

"It's just the comfort now." You yawn. "I want ramen."

"Shin noodles is not ramen." Ada pauses. "Also, no. You're cutting for your next shoot, remember?"

"God, can't they CGI it or something? God forbid a human eat for once." You huff, grabbing a pack of konjac jelly instead, huffing as you pop open your laptop. "I hate this industry."

"It's not that you can't eat."

"Where's the medicine for blood sugar?"

"You already had one today. You'll be fine." Ada hands you a jerky packet, and you groan in bliss.

"China my beloved."

Ada rolls her eyes, going back to her phone to text her relatives again. "Anything you want mailed this time?"

"阿尔卑斯..." You mumble. "Alps lollipops my beloved... please..."

"I'll let them know. Anything else?"

"QQ gummies are here now, huh?"

"Yeah." She pauses. "Let's have them mail some anyway."

"Love you."

"Yeah, yeah. Anything else that they can legally mail over?"

"Oh, I want gum."

"Extra?"

"Yuh. The white packaging one." You grin. "I'll dedicate this chapter to you again."

"Yeah?"

"Mhm." You blow a kiss at her, and she rolls her eyes.

"Sap."

"I'M HURT."

prev letter : masterlist : next letter

[that---one---kid]

Thermite x Neighbor! Reader

Sorry for the long hiatus y'all, I started college and shit has been ROUGH, this story is a bit more raunchy, more of my own fantasies so if you have issues with an older guy or a younger girl I'd sit this one out. And I apologize for the writing. It's kind of all over the place and weirdly written, but it'll get better as I get back into writing. N/N-nickname ex-Megan, meg

It was wrong, Jordan knew that, he didn't need that pestering devil on his shoulder reminding him, but God, did it feel right. Coming home from a long-way mission to his empty house in a quiet, perfectly cookie-cutter suburban neighborhood. An otherwise boring home to come back to, if it wasn't for you.

Summer in Texas isn't usually something to be excited about, but ever since he actually met his neighbors last June, Jordan can't help but fantasize about summer all year long. It started when he came home and actually stayed for a while. Harry had been killed, Deimos was on the loose and Rainbow was in shambles, but for the time being it was disbanded until Gustave, Eliza, Yuniko, Taiana, and himself could figure out what to do with their respective squadron. Stepping out in the morning to get the paper instead of coming home to it being piled up, same with the mail, was strange, and seeing neighbors he'd lived next to for years that he knew nothing about was even stranger. Little did he know, the people across from his house would soon be his favorite neighbors, a nice perfectly cookie-cutter couple, a dad with a high-paying corporate job, a wife who did menial work and spent most of her time gardening or out with friends, a son in his twenty-somethings starting a family close by, and a daughter in her sophomore year of college. Jordan obviously didn't see either of the two kids much, only in passing did he hear of the daughter, Y/N, when your mom would complain about you or praise you, or both.  But summer had rolled around faster than he had noticed since you came home from college.

In hindsight it was a bad idea, weird on his part to even talk to some 19 year old, but, God, were you hard to resist wanting to talk to. Young, smart, full of life and beautiful by all means. Innocent conversations when you'd walk out to your car, small talk when you'd water the front yard turned into longer talks. He knew it was wrong, God, it was wrong, but damn it all if it wasn't worth it.

It started out with him inviting you into his house on a hot day, offering sweet tea to cool off when he caught sight of you on a run.  "Oh, um, yeah, thank you, Mr. Trace." 'Mr. Trace. Jordan always hated being called 'Mr. Trace'. It made him feel old, a reminder he'd rather go without, but something about it coming from your plush lips, your smooth youthful voice made him like it. You take the glass from him, the condensation running down your hand as you bring it up to your mouth, plush lips parting for it, small water droplets falling onto your chest and sliding into your sports bra. Jordan takes a gulp, his mouth having gone dry suddenly as he rips his stare from following any further. You sigh as you finish your tea, flushed face looking at him so sweetly. "Thank you, Mr. Trace. I really appreciate it." The way your tongue darts out to lick your lips and the way you look at him is enough to make him shift uncomfortably in his seat. "Of course, N/N." And that was the beginning of his downfall. He knew it was creepy and bordering-no, WAS, stalking, but he made a point to take note and memorize your running schedule. And like clock work he'd coincidentally be outside to chat with you, either watering his lawn or reading. He didn't only get closer with you, though, he got much closer with your family. "Well, we were planning on going to the beach house in South Carolina for awhile," Your mom says, motioning to your dad. "And we were wondering if you'd be willing to keep an eye on the house while we're gone." Your mom asks almost sheepishly and it takes Jordan by surprise for a moment. "Yeah that shouldn't be a problem, is Y/N going to be gone most of the time? Or going with y'all?" Your mother almost sighs, "No, she has her sports conditioning this summer, but I just don't want her sneaking in her little boyfriend or friends. I know it's short notice but we'll be leaving next week and if you could just shoot me a text if you see anyone who isn't her i'd really appreciate it." Boyfriend? You had never mentioned one. The slight sting of jealousy Jordan feels rising in his stomach is completely unfounded, but not completely foreign to him. The same feeling arising when he'd see you chat with some neighbor boys that seemed to also be home from college. "Of course, it'd be no problem really."

The next day on your run you actually stopped and initiated conversation for once. "I hear you're my new babysitter." You say sarcastically while taking off your headphones. Jordan looks up from his book, his breath briefly catching in his throat as he takes in sight of you. It was an unusually hot day and you were dressed for it. Tinier spandex shorts than normal that perfectly outlined your hips and a tight sports bra contrasted beautifully against your sweat shinned skin that looked more tantalizing than usual. "You don't have to actually watch me, Mr. Trace, I don't know why they treat me like a kid." A slight smile graced your lips, afterall it was somewhat endearing. Jordan peeled his eyes away from your body only to get lost in your face, fantasies running wild as he can't help but do a once over of all of you.  "Aw, it's really no problem. Your mom just told me to keep an eye out for a boyfriend." Jordan teases. Your face turns more red than it already is. "Haha, I wouldn't call him that, but fair enough-" You're cut off when you trip on an uneven pavement while walking up towards jordan. With his cat-like trained reflexes he jumps up from his seat to grab you. Jordan catches you, one hand lands on your lower hip, thumb resting oh-so-close to your bikini lines. His other hand wrapped around your back, pulling you sweat slicked body as close as it could get to him. "You okay?" Jordan says, concern evident in his voice, his mouth so close to your ear that you can feel his hot breath tickle the skin. A shiver runs down your spine and suddenly your knees feel weak and you feel the sudden urge to kiss him. "Uh, yea, sorry." You say somewhat breathlessly. Jordan makes sure you're alright before his brain processes where his hands had just been. "Sorry, I didn't mean to uh," Jordan gestures his hands vaguely towards you. "Oh no! It's totally fine! Sorry I didn't mean to put you in that position." You laugh awkwardly while finding your footing.  Before Jordan could tell you that it was completely fine and that he'd love to let his hands wander your beautifully sculpted body again you were already on your way back to your house. "I'll see you later, Mr. Trace!" You yell before turning back to your jog. Jordan was thankful that you didn't notice the hard on he was sporting, your absence leaving his mind to wander as much as he desired. Turning heel he quickly retreated inside his home to relieve himself.

    Quickly, he walked into his house, shutting the door with urgency behind him. Making his way to his bedroom, he slips off his shoes and unbuckles his pants, shimming them off just enough to slip them half way down his thigh before falling back into bed, releasing his throbbing cock from his boxers. Rough and calloused hands tease the tip of his weeping cock, his thumb swiping over the sensitive tip, smearing his precum with it. Grabbing his length whole, he lets out a shuddering breath. His thoughts wander back to you, the way your skin felt in his touch, soft and smooth. How smooth your toned legs looked, how they would feel wrapped around his waist as he pounded into you. Your pillowy lips spilling out sweet ecstasy as you beg for him to fuck you. Jordan quickened his pace, feeling his pulse in his throat. Imagining what you would look like underneath your tight sports bra, how your perky breasts would look as he slammed you into the mattress as you moaned his name. Thinking back to how you said his name, Mr. Trace, you begging for his cum, the way your flushed face looked and how it would look while you choke on him. Jordan's grip tightened as he released with a soft moan of your name. Lying on his bed he lets his shallow breaths fill the silent room, the sound of rushing blood and his own heartbeat is all he hears. After some time Jordan throws his legs over the side of the bed, sliding off his pants the rest of the way off and walks towards his bathroom. Wiping off his stomach Jordan splashed the warm water in his face, staring at his reflection and sighing. "Ughh, Y/N, you're going to be the death of me."

    The day your parents left came and evening came sooner. Jordan had been pacing patiently waiting for you to get back from swimming at 7. He never paced. You had sent him a text asking him to come over for dinner earlier that day, telling your parents that it was a nice way to thank him for watching over the house and you while they're away, of course your mother agreed, thinking it was a lovely idea. Jordan glances at his phone again, checking the time, 6:42 glared back at him. Groaning, Jordan walked back to his bathroom to stare at himself in the mirror. Looking at his trimmed stubble Jordan fiddles with his hair, despite slicking it back with his usual gel it doesn't seem to want to stay, small hairs falling into his face, finally deciding just to leave it. After swishing mouthwash for the 4th time that night Jordan feels his phone vibrate. Quickly fishing it out of his pocket he reads your message. "Back from swim come over whenever🏊‍♀️" Jordan smiles nervously, God, he felt like he was in high school all over again. Why oh why was he so nervous over this? Taking one last look in the mirror he grabs his phone and sends a quick, "Coming" text. Jordan grabs his keys and heads out the door, hitting a light jog across the street.

Walking up the stairs Jordan takes a deep breath, settling his nerves before knocking twice. The solid wood door feels heavy even as he knocks and it's not before he hears footsteps running downstairs. The door opens quickly, revealing you, a tight tank top, sports shorts and wet hair. Jordan takes a sharp inhale, hiding it with a smile. Your cheery face greets him, the soft smell of chlorine is noticeable even at the distance he's at, not an unpleasant aroma. "Hey! C'mon in!" You say while leading him in, closing the door behind you. Walking through the living room you guide him to the kitchen. "Sorry, I just started making the spaghetti-it's the only thing I really know how to make, haha," Jordan smiles, taking a seat at the bar seats across the kitchen counter. " So what do you survive off of in the dorms?" He asks, feeling somewhat awkward and unsure of what to talk about. "Mostly redbarrens, it's kinda a goated dinner. Especially the supreme pizza." There's more light banter until you declare that the clearly overcooked pasta is done. After serving you both a plate you excuse yourself. "Oh, one second," You say while walking across the kitchen and out of sight into the butlers pantry. "Do you like Pinot Noir or Chianti?" You call out. Jordan stands up, walks over to the kitchen sink area, and rests his back against the counter. "Are you even old enough to drink?" He asks in a playful tone, a smirk pulling at his lips. You pop your head from around the corner, smiling and holding a bottle of wine. "Depends. Are you a snitch?" You say in a half-joking tone. "Do me a favor and grab some glasses from that cabinet closest to you." Jordan does as told and grabs two wine glasses, setting them on the counter. You open the bottle and pour you both a generous glass. "Is this a normal pour back at school?" He asks, half laughing. You smirk, leaning over the counter. "Usually, yeah. It's not common to have such nice wine, I've grown accustomed to Coors banquet." Jordan's eyes trail down your sternum. Eyes half lidded you give him a sly smirk.  "Well, I wouldn't want the food to get cold." You say, grabbing your glass and heading to the kitchen table, Jordan following close behind.

After dinner and a bottle of wine later you're both on the living room sofa, watching some hallmark movie. The wine was really setting in now, a warm fuzzy feeling filling both of you as you sit next to Jordan, feet propped up on the coffee table. You take another sip from your glass, slurring your words slightly as you suddenly sit up, leaning dangerously close to him. "Do you want another glass?" You ask, a small laugh follows. Jordan smiles lazily, feeling the effects of the wine himself. "I think I'm all good, thank you." His voice comes out smooth, it sends chills down your spine.Jordan can't help but look at your parted lips, the alcohol flushing your cheeks and swelling slightly parted your lips. The way you look at him is almost predatory. "Y'know, Mr. Trace," You say, shifting so that you're on your knees facing towards him. Jordan shifts his body slightly to face towards you, his heartbeat beginning to quicken and cheeks feeling impossibly hot. "I've alwaaays thought you looked so gooood when you're doing yard work." You're clearly drunk but Jordan can't bring himself to think of anything other than your pretty words and how your nipples are hard beneath that thin, low cut tank top. "Yeah? You think so?" He says, "Yeeeaah," You smile, putting both your hands on his chest, you push him against the soft cushions, throwing right your leg over his thighs, straddling him you pull your face close to his, lips brushing against his. Jordan's breath hitches at the sudden closeness. "Y/N..."He breathes out. This is wrong. So wrong. But, God, does it feel so good. "I've seen the way you look at me, Jordan," He shudders at your words, his cock growing achingly hard underneath you. Part of him hoped you wouldn't notice and the other part wanted to bend you over the coffee table and destroy you. "We shouldn't.." He says, mentally kicking himself for doing the moral thing. It's too late though because you're already taking off that tight little tank top and jordans grabbing your waist for a heated kiss. You slam your lips into his in a frenzied kiss. Gasping as you pull away wrapping your hands around his neck, standing up you pull him up with you without breaking the kiss. The height difference now an inconvenience, you hitch your leg onto Jordan's waist. Taking this as a sign, Jordan reaches down and grabs your ass, giving it a squeeze before lifting your weight. Jumping up, you wrap your other leg around his waist. Jordan trails his kisses down your neck as you throw your head back in a gasp. "Th-the room around the cornerrr-" You cut yourself off with a whine when Jordan hits the sweet spot on your neck. He readjusts you and carries you to the bedroom. Letting you down, you break the kiss, taking his hand and leading him  to the large, cushy canopy bed. Jordan takes a second to look around. "Is this your parent's room?" He asked while you pull him down into the bed with you. "Don't tell me you want to stop." You pout, saying it so sweetly that it almost absolves him of the sin he's about to commit. As if he could care less.

Jordan quickly rips off his shirt, hastily unbuckling his belt while you slip off your shorts, revealing a lacey red thong that barely covers anything. Jordan's mouth water at the sight. "God, you are a minx." He says, his voice dripping with lust. You bat your eyes at him, "less talky, please," You say, grabbing his shoulders and pulling him back in. Jordans' hands trail down your body, thumbs caressing your lower stomach before trailing lower, hooking them around the hem of your panties. You moan into his mouth, feeling your own desire building in your stomach. "Please, Jordan, I need you," You say breathlessly into the kiss. Jordan groans at your words, feeling his own hardness,  rutting his hips against your clothed cunt, the wetness evident. "You want it, baby.." He asks, pulling away to drink in the sight of you completely undone below him. "Please, Jordan, I need you to fuck me." With a final plea, Jordan pulls down your panties, rubbing the head of his cock against your heat. "Fuck..are you sure?'" he asks a final time, barely able to contain himself from ramming into you. Silence follows, slight concern settling into his stomach. You shift nervously under him. "I've just never...gone this far with a guy before..." You mumble, embarrassment heating up your face. Jordan was taken by surprise. "Oh, did you want to-" "No! Uhh, no, just..be gentle, please." You quickly cut him off. Jordan's gaze softens, hands caressing your face. "I don't think your first time should be with-" "But I want it to be you!" You whine. "All I hear about guys my age is how much it sucks, I really want someone hot and who knows what they're doing and..." You trail off, hands roaming Jordans' toned torso. "Someone who..?" He continues, eyes locked on your lips.  "Someone older.."  Jordan smirks. "Hmm, you want someone who knows what they're doing?" You nod sheepishly. Jordan captures you in another kiss. Slowly, he brings the head of his cock to your entrance, slowly pushing in his head into your tight hole. You let out a whine, squirming from the foreign sensation. "J-Jordan, mmgh, you're so-ugh-big!" Jordan groans as he pushes in. "You're doing so good, baby," He coos into your ear. After a moment to adjust he pushes the rest of his length in. Jordan lets out a moan, your tightness feeling heavenly. "Plea-please! Keep moving!" You let out a whine. Jordan obeys almost immediately, slowly at first, the sound of wetness and your moans filling the room. Jordan leans down, his breath hot against your ear as he continues to pump into you. "Ah-I think, i'm gonna-mmmmmff-" Jordan kisses your neck, sucking on your sweet spot. "Yeah? You gonna cum for me, baby?" Your panting tells him all he needs to know as he feels your muscles contract around him. "Ugh-Jordan!" You let out a yelp as you cum. "Oh, God!" Jordan grits out through clenched teeth as he holds your body close, his thrusts becoming erratic as he finishes.

    Panting, Jordan pulls out, collapsing next to you. Holding you close, he props himself up on one shoulder, taking in your fucked out expression. Sweat shinned and flushed face, you look at him and give a weak smile. "That was amazing, Mr. Trace." You say softly. "Please, call me Jordan." He chuckles and smiles back.  Your phone ringing cuts off the intimate moment, you scramble across the bed to grab it from your shorts. "Hey mom! Yeah everything went great! Yeah, I'm going to bed soon, it's been a loooong night!"

[gren-arlio]

Rewriting this sucks, but we ball. Welcome to Episode 13 of Waku Puyo Extras.

(...If you saw the post before I deleted it, no you didn't. I hate my internet.)

Heya everyone, Gren here, rewriting this for a second time because I accidently clicked post and lost everything because my internet decided to be a dickhead. Welcome to Episode 13 of this wonderful show I've made, where I discuss random Puyo things and hope they make sense to an audience. They usually do.

Today we'll be focusing on our favorite idiot out there, Ms. Draco Centauros. It's wild how she's been with us since day one and we haven't made anything for and about her. This one might seem more summarized and less "Gren's rambling again," because man. Retyping sucks.

Uploads have been scarce due to school, we're hitting the toughest parts by far, I plan to change it sometime.

Let's begin, shall we? I hope you enjoy.

Oh, and please play Persona 3 Reload. Amazing game.

----

So Who IS Draco in Puyo?

I have to specify Puyo so we can mention Madou stuff later, since it's how I wanna roll this time around.

She's been with us with a personality since what, 1992? And she's had two wonderful traits.

She loves beauty contests.

And she may be stupid.

We'll come to love and hate those traits later on down the line. Believe me on that. That's how she began in Tsu, after all.

However, everything changed when it came to Puyo SUN, where something very unique happened. She's now a protagonist, and I believe the first one to do so, a massive accomplishment. She's the protagonist of the Easy Mode Course, the shortest one, but that's fine.

She finds Skeleton-T heating up tea while she basically dying of heat, and she burns the tea, making the man (skeleton?) PISSED, and a fight happens, classic Puyo. After that, Draco encounters Harpy, who collapsed on the ground due to dehydration, so Draco saves her life via a water bottle. Sadly, it results in Harpy singing, and Draco to slowly die inside because...it's Harpy's singing for God's sake.

And finally, she runs into Choppun (remember that guy?) He's land surfing on a rock... before he gets properly swept away by the water, thankfully. With that, Draco tries to relax, and uh, that doesn't end well. The sun's too hot, and she goes flying, not by her free will, of course, but because sunburn does that to someone...leading to her being the first fight of Arle's story, basically in severe pain due to that.

The fact that she got a protagonist role is something to behold, and it's very interesting to know that a common Mook like her was able to secure such a spot. Later on, other side characters like Witch and Lagnus would get the role in other games (Comet Summoner, Madou Saturn, etc,) but no, Draco is the first one to do that, a very big accomplishment in of itself. Nice one Draco.

And hey, she returns in Puyo~N too, being one of the first fights in the game.

(Just want an excuse to show the artstyle. MAN, it's so good.)

Here, Arle asks if she knows who stole Carbuncle, as that's basically the plot of the entire game, but Draco has reverted back into her good old "Is she stupid?" personality, assumes she's there for a beauty contest and fights her, and loses, go figure. After that, she actually joins Arle for the search for her missing Carbuncle, alongside Witch, Serilly, and Chico.

She even says Gao. It's perfect.

But after that, it kinda went all over the place. It was her last real major/semi-prevelent role for a good bit. She's there in Minna, but she doesn't exactly do a ton. She's part of a long fetch quest where mail has been messed up, and her mail got lost 3 years ago because Witch accidently got it instead, but that's really about it. And then, like everyone in Compile besides Arle, she vanishes for The Fever Era. She doesn't even appear in 15th, when Nasu Grave and Zoh Daimoh made it. But hey, jokes on them, they haven't appeared since.

But after so long, Draco makes her grand return in Puyo 7.

(Wonder who you saw first in this image. For me it was Raffine.)

Here, she's in the Bermuda Triangle because Dark Arle told her that there's a beauty contest there, and she just believes it. Ringo and Amitie go there for plot reasons, and Draco assumes they're there for the same reasons as her. Sadly, they're not, and Draco has been HOODWINKED. And as we know, if you play as Amitie, Witch and Harpy make their cameo appearance, new designs as all... just to not use them ever again. Makes me sad every time.

Draco reappears in 20th Anniversary, where Witch also makes her real debut back. Harpy died sadly. She got smacked to the Land of Chronicles instead. Back to Draco, she wants to find a really cool swimsuit Arle mentioned, but it's Draco, life hates her. After a slew of mishaps and ruining people's day, she finally finds it... and finds out it's from Suketoudara. Rip.

And hey, she reappears in Chronicle, where she's just minding her own business until she gets yoinked by the book that took everyone else to Ally's world. And in Draco Fashion... she assumes Ally and crew are there for a beauty pageant and won't be usurped. Wonder how many times I've mentioned her and beauty pageants, gotta keep count sometime.

She's in Tetris 1 and uh. She tries to eat O.

And uh...she does a talent show with Witch in the DLC. That's it.

TETRIS 2 TIME

She's one of the many people who got corrupted by Marle, but had Ringo fooled for a good bit on accident, and apologized for her odd behavior. Not her fault Marle is uh... quite the character.

And in side story stuff, she's just playing around with Mini Puyos since she finds them interesting. Unfortunately, Witch also finds them interesting and makes Draco her test subject for studying Mini Puyos, saying it'd at least be a good workout for her. And since we're playing as Draco, she does just that...for science, we swear. After that, Witch notes that due to their smaller size, much higher chains and such, before Draco says she's just there for a good time, much to Witch's annoyance.

So That's Puyo. How About Madou?

(One guy out there just decided to make the coolest Draco art out there. Thanks man.)

Draco began in the series like many other characters, a Mook, a random encounter, a person Arle ran into during dungeon crawling adventures, the sort. It's simple enough, it's her beginnings.

However, I won't exactly be going in chronological order for this, rather, I want to mention some things here and there as I go.

Draco began to get fairly popular due to her design and appearances in Puyo, ala Witch, so she began to make a lot of appearances in side stuff, such as Disc Station games. She appears in a few off memory:

Tower of the Magician, where she's a random encounter Schezo can fight. Here though, she has a little more personality since it's been more established.

PuyoLympics, where she makes a cameo appearance in the swimming section of the game. She's not playable, like Rulue and Schezo, but she makes an appearance.

Rulue's Spring Break of Fists, where like many other characters, she talks a lot... because it's a visual novel. She only appears in one story route, like almost every other character in the game.

Arle Man'Yuki, where she's uh. There.

Madou Saturn, where she's a playable ally, but a temporary one.

Waku Puyo Dungeon and it's manga, where in the manga, she fights against and alongside Rulue.

So let's talk about her role in Saturn first. She's been chained up alongside Witch due to Incubus being Incubus, and you're given a choice to save her or Witch first. Today, it's Draco.

Arle and Rulue save Draco, and Draco's first thing to do is go to a beauty pageant...to find out that she's late and it's already over.

And it leads to this. She's gone, bros. To the point where she doesn't help fight Schezo 3 minutes later. However, after said fight, she regains her senses and enters a whole other contest since the reward is a key that opens literally anything. You know, so they can save Witch.

Unfortunately, Yog Smoke is appearing, and it's not looking so good for our heroes, but we skim some smaller details, some fights later, it's honestly quite similar to Witch's route, down to the Schezo Refight and Jaan appearance, I guess to give players similar experiences. It's honestly a very nice role Draco has at least, where she's able to kinda bounce off Arle and Rulue decently well, and she's no slouch in combat either.

After saving Witch, she does leave you, but reappears at the end of the game at the very least. And that's mostly her role, she has her own quirks and her personality, while a little one dimensional as always, still leaves room up for some unique conversations with Arle and Rulue.

And even then, her role in Waku Waku Puyo Puyo Dungeon and its manga are at least more than that, to an extent. It depends on the Route.

In Arle's Route (yeah, sorry for not translating in a hot minute. School work over that, sorry.) she relies more on her stupid self and assumes Arle is there for a beauty- basically the usual. However, at the very least, she does canonically say she can make 5 chains, before realizing they her and Arle are gonna PROPERLY fight rather than Puyo battle, which is neat. And even after defeat, she just trains to become even better, which is honestly a nice change of pace.

And in Schezo's route, it relies on Schezo also being partially a Grade A dunce, since the boss dialog is him misunderstanding Draco completely about "Something," before she says it's a Battle, leaving him to feel stupid for not thinking that. And after defeat and near the end of the game, Schezo runs into her again, and he says that he's not really interested in appealing to women or anyone, leading to Draco assuming he's gay, much to his annoyance. And on another talk, Draco mentions if he was more in touch with how people feel and watched his wording, Schezo would be even more popular with the ladies, before he's shocked that he's popular in general.

Notice how I haven't spoken about Rulue yet, and it's because...I dunno how she acts there. But I do somewhat know how she acts in the manga.

(This requires context. Believe me.)

Like in the game, Draco is the boss of Fire Mountain, and since Rulue and Minotauros are there...to put it bluntly, the three fight. Draco's no slouch though, as she's able to actually fight Rulue competently and WIN round one, so to speak, which is the top image of the entire post.

When knocked out, Rulue begins to dream about Arle...and Satan. The rest is history. Round two happens, and it's a real back and forth, honestly. Draco lands good hits, Rulue gets good hits, before out of nowhere, steals the Naruto Handbook and Shadow Clone Justu's, shocking Draco and ending the fight there.

It's worth noting that it appears Draco might (or definitely does,) like or even crush on Rulue herself. Since this stupid 10 image limit it kicking my ass, you can probably find many pages online of those moments. Draco even tags along in fighting... these guys, who are basically traumatized from fighting Rulue.

(They're in Saturn, that's for sure.)

And as such, ends our talk about Draco. She's a very fascinating character, since she hasn't changed a whole lot throughout the decades.

She's been fairly two-note for years now, but it doesn't really stop her from being a good and fun character, especially when Compile/SEGA decide to give her a little more than "Is she stupid?" and beauty pageants.

That'd be all from me. Adios.

[teriwrites]

Behind Closed Doors: 'A Secret Engagement'

My Live Reactions to Reading Through My 2014 Novel

Buckle up, this chapter is FOURTEEN THOUSAND WORDS LONG!

It's springtime in the city, and Cedric spends most of his unemployed life acting like he's still employed (meeting with all of his old coworkers and companions)

Remember how Delroy walked in on Santos and Eleri secretly convening in a room at one point? Right, so they're ENGAGED. Secretly, even! Time to roll credits for this chapter

Governors are already trying to reinstate Boyd's role and it's literally been like a handful of months since he got fired in the first place

Delroy 'barely sees non-humans due to the general oppression of any species tied to magic' vs. Fayina 'hanging out with a werewolf and fighting off vampires left and right'

This chapter is proof that I've always loved a little infodumping about worldbuilding lol, we've covered the mailing system, and we're onto religion - just wait until we reach Lady Ghislaine's actual story. The woman loves to yap, what can I say?

Eleri needs more friends - asking Delroy to review your sketches of the dress you want to sew for your wedding is a little sad, girly

Omg Cedric fired Eleri

"I have warned the staff time and time again that I do not have the income to afford to keep all of you." okay bro but like you're hosting a hugely important dinner tonight, maybe now's not the time to fire your one maid... also, where tf is all your money going?? you're like one of the richest men in the country??

I mean at least you're no longer in his debt, girly

Broooo Delroy stop showing sympathy for the rich asshole you work for, he clearly doesn't give a shit about his employees

"I'm sure he's afraid that you'll forget about him as well. The two of you will be fine." How could he promise that, though? He knew very little about the hearts of young men and women. Never once had he considered marriage, nor did he think he ever would. (a return of my best attempt at calling this boy out as ace)

Why is it implied that people wouldn't be supportive of Eleri and Santos' relationship?? Is this a racism thing?? For some reason, I had it in my head that Eleri was actually a faun, but nothing in the story itself has alluded to that, so either I simply forgot to mention the whole 'lower-half of a goat' situation or else I decided to toss in racism???? for some reason???? specifically for this one interracial couple?????

Somehow Delroy and Santos alone managed to draw up a feast for the dinner party Cedric is hosting, and immediately commit faux pas by bowing to Cedric (lowest ranking member of said party) instead of the Prime Minister

The Prime Minister somehow manages to be an even bigger dickhead than Cedric Boyd!! Not that he's a worse man, but he's definitely worse at hiding it

Lady Ghislaine is heeeeere, star of the show even when she's a secondary character

Wait this might be The Scene

The Prime Minister's wife has a cold, surely a sign that women must be the weaker of the sexes!!!!! Something he says with his full chest in front of the foreign, female diplomat

Of course, something must always go wrong at a dinner party: Santos and Delroy didn't prepare enough drinks! Santos still has work to do on preparing the cider, and they might not have enough wine!!

Don't ask me what meal goes with both cider and wine, but they were like the two alcoholic drinks I actually knew anything about at the ripe old age of 16

'Useless noble class, Delroy thought bitterly to himself. What do they do but sit upon thrones of wealth and watch the rest of us suffer?' *cough cough*

'The Prime Minister had appeared to make an inappropriate comment about women once more, for Delroy could see Lady Ghislaine holding in a retort. Neil Oscar leaned his elbow on the table to look down its length and smirked. "What's the matter, my Lady? Are you tired of always being at the foot of the table?" (I literally just went 'oh shiiiit' out loud)

HERE IT IS

"You surely cannot believe that women are equal?" "I think," Lady Ghislaine interrupted dryly. "That you forgot to whom you are speaking. As an elven women proficient in half a dozen languages, ambassador currently to Ardeai and previously to both Kasira and Garth at separate times, holder of the Iron Heart for services in battle, educated in one of Kasira's greatest universities and knowledgeable in numerous subjects no longer taught there such as astronomy and biology, once a member of my King's personal court, and having earned the title of 'Lady' in numerous countries before my 25th birthday - and not because my father was a noble, for he was a measly trader - I believe that I have a reason for thinking women are as capable as a man. Unless you would like to hear my longer list of achievements?" The Prime Minister gave her no response, and a tense silence fell over the crowd of people sitting around the table.' (YEEEEEEEEEEAH)

Okay that^ section is a little bit dramatic, I'll admit, but when I decided to toss Lady Ghislaine into a worldbuilding project, I wanted to find a way to include some of that speech into her new backstory. So a lot of the achievements that she lists here are actually events or somehow included in my 2022 WIP, 'The Lies in the Legend'. We'll see a lot more of that later :)

At least the fatphobia in this one is acknowledged as a social construct brought into being by the whims of those in power............. so, yk, baby steps

Delroy's such a shit cook, and honestly, what a mood

Teri, you don't need to recount events that occurred literally earlier in this draft, the reader will remember it lol

Or they won't, but then it'll just seem like a weird addition

Implied that rumors abound about Lady Ghislaine's relationship with Cedric, which I hate so much that I'll be ignoring that from now until eternity lol

Maybe my grammar still wasn't perfect, but one thing about me is that I'm gonna be using the proper verbiage when something 'piques' someone's attention

Delroy, why would you even know this diplomat's kingdom's national flower?

(The answer is that it was one I invented in an old worldbuilding project, and i had to show it off)

Boy from the plains and the plateaus still struggles with stairs, bless his heart

Delroy's writing a memoir. What a tool.

Lady Ghislaine's memoir, though! That's something worth reading ;)

And that's lights out!

Ending Thoughts:

I think I can promise that I'll stop being a little Lady Ghislaine fangirl after this. We have two chapters left (well, one and then whatever I wrote of the following), and if she makes any appearances, they'll likely be few and far between. Anyways! Back to the Actual story! Despite this chapter being Long As Fuck, it also falls pretty neatly into what I've been calling the 'mediocre midsection' of this series. Basically, a lot of unnecessary and relatively uninteresting details for every action being made throughout a scene. It's a positive sign, a step in a good direction, as I learned how to string scenes together and was playing around with exactly what needs to be included, but it leaves less room for commentary, and generally makes the reading less exciting. Progress doesn't always guarantee something interesting, and that's okay!

[fentrashcat]

Been a while since I talked about my Tourette's gremlin but some new occurrences! I'm in a waxing period of tics ig bc I've just been GOING with them. Kinda really sucks so trying to look on the bright side and wanted to share some recent occurrences.

1. Mom and I found a new tic loop. (My mom is not diagnosed with any tic disorders but does have verbal tics, usually echolalia or like a call/response thing idk what to call it). I was playing with the puppy and was saying like "did you get got? You got got?" At that same time my mom (who was playing a game) says "Oh, I got mail". IMMEDIATELY Tourette's Gremlin goes "You've got mail" in the old AoL voice. Mom's call/response is set of and she does the little like notification jingle. Jingle set off mine again, which set off hers. We went back and forth for almost 5min before she was able to suppress hers and break the loop. Now though I'm getting the urge to tic "you've got mail" at random.

2. I swear my Tourette's gremlin is actively trolling me. So obviously I refer to him as a separate entity, and I often speak out loud to him (like telling him "we aren't doing that" "don't you fucking dare [throw food]" "are you pleased with yourself now?") The other day I was getting a bout of tongue clicks, which I usually only get 1-3 at a time but this was going on way longer. It wasn't painful or anything, just annoying so I say out loud "is this really necessary?" They stop for about 5 minutes, and then I get one more. This led to me saying "Alright then, sassy" which caused my mom to think I named the gremlin Sassy (we had a dog named Sassy). I told her "nope, its name is just gremlin." And the bout of tics came back... Maybe he does want a name lol.

3. I've talked about my older cat before in a Tourette's post, she's the one that trained herself to help my tic attacks. However my younger cat usually just ignores them. During the incident in 2, I was whistling as well. It's a semi-distinct two-tone whistle, think like the opposite of a wolf whistle (tbh, I think it's from Facebook messenger but I'm not sure). Anyway, I was doing the whistle and my younger cat came up to me, put a paw on my knee, and did a two-tone meow in the same cadence. She's mimicked before, learning how to almost say "hello", "yeah", and "no", but she'd never mimicked a tic before. I was so surprised it actually got them to stop for a bit.

4. We're getting some house repairs done and my grandfather was over talking to my mom. He said something about the ducT work, but my brain heard ducK work, and set off a "duck-duck". It confused him so much he forgot what he was talking about by the time we explained what happened, and he just kind of left. Later I was with my grandparents and my grandma was worried about a decorative duck she has up blowing away. Of course I "duck-duck"ed and grandpa goes "don't you know you're not supposed to say that? It'll trigger her." "Say what? Duck? Why not?" "I was talking about something and she heard that bird's name and set off." "Fine then, can I say water fowl? Make sure the water fowl doesn't blow away!" This is all in good fun of course, they like to tease each other and know I'm alright with my tics being used in it.

5. I think I mentioned before one of my weird triggers is fancy candy apples. Specifically the ones that are like caramel and chocolate with a bunch of toppings to make flavors (like rocky road, cookies and cream, ect). We went to a little craft show type thing and one of the vendors right up front had a big display of them. When this happens we always get me at least one (usually two), but we have to get it at the end or I'll be too excited and be ticcing the whole time. We got two before we left and, as expected, I ticced the whole way home. It was a lot of tongue roll tics (like rolling your Rs, if that makes sense). From my tongue hitting my teeth so much I ended up hurting it a bit and had to wait like 2 days until it was comfortable enough to eat even if I started ticcing again. It had to be kept in an opaque bag in the fridge so I didn't set off everytime I saw it 🤣

6. I'm currently in what I'm calling "jukebox mode" because I cannot keep the songs in my head IN my head. As soon as something reminds me of a song lyric, I HAVE to sing it a little. Some from today were "Oh the lights went out" 🎶when the lights go out in the city🎶, "that was a long fall" 🎶it's a long way down🎶, and "I've got mouths to feed" 🎶I got bills to pay and mouths to feed, ain't nothing in the world for free🎶. Also been singing Skip to my Lou, and I'm blaming airhead commercials.

7. I got reminded of a post I saw here, and almost developed a tic they have without ever meeting them or having heard it. (I don't want to say exactly what it is bc I think they read these and I don't want to accidentally get them started or anything)

8. Was playing Skyrim again, saw a skeleton, and immediately ticced "hello moto!" No idea why. I can usually find SOME connection but not this time. I've gotten that as a tic before but usually due to the commercials.

9. I've started ticcing "duck-duck" at jeeps with anything colorful visible on their dashboard. Who knows if they are actually duck-ducks everytime or what, but the gremlin says they count.

Thank you if you read this far! I can't really tell if these are actually entertaining or if I'm just looking for ANY light spots. It's been a tough few weeks, but fingers crossed it starts to lighten up soon. For anyone curious the songs were "when the lights go out" from Family Crest, "it's a long way down (to the bottom of the sea)" from I think the Longest Johns, and "no rest for the wicked" from Cage the Elephant.

I think the gremlin wants a name now though, so if you have any suggestions let me know lol.

[tgr-2x5-roleswap-au]

You've Got Mail (Part 1) - The Seagull's Voyage | Chapter 1

Chapter 1 - Pen Pals (April 1964)

Goodbye Fat Controller - Season 19 Episode 25

Word Count: 933

:D

~

He wrote back.

James didn't think Emily's idea would work. Sure, it had worked fine for her but that was her sister. It was someone she knew. Edward was, in the end, a foreign stranger. Yet—

"He actually wrote back!" James exclaimed, seeing the closed envelope Fred, his driver, waved in front of him with a smile. "What did he say? Can you read it, please? Please?"

James' driver chuckled at the ecstatic engine as he looked around. The engine and his crew were in a siding, with a brake van and guard in hand, awaiting clearance. There was a disturbance up the branch line. "I don't see why not, chap. We have plenty of time."

"Open it, then!"

"Calm down!" he scolded. "Not that long ago, you were brooding about."

With a snort, James retorted, "No, I wasn't!"

"We nearly missed the boat."

James huffed, letting his cheeks burn. "Ok, maybe a little."

Satisfied, the elderly raven head pulled out his pocket knife and cut the envelope open from its side. He grabbed it from the opposite end and tapped it against the palm of his hand, getting the letter out. It took a bit but it eventually slipped out and into his hands. The Englishman was about to unfold it, only to see another letter slip out. With a quick reflex, he was able to catch it before it fell onto the tracks and under James. Unlike the first one, there was writing on the outside.

Curious, Fred cleared his throat. "From Quinn Burns, a volunteer of the Furness Railway Trust," his driver read aloud, just as George, James’ fireman, quietly approached them. "I'll read this one first."

"But-!" James began.

"It could be context for what Edward has to say," interrupted his driver. "Might as well know who wrote it for him."

James hummed impatiently, receiving an eye roll from his fireman.

The driver quickly tucked the first letter and the envelope into his pockets. He opened the second letter, pinched the opposite corners between his fingers, as if it were a scroll, cleared his throat, just to get a kick out of James, and read what was written with ink on the thin sheet of paper…

.

.

.

"Greetings to James' crew! 

When the Furness Railway Trust received your engine's letter, we were quite surprised, especially with whom it was addressed. While we were aware of the mishap that led to FR 21 being on the North Western Railway by accident, we were unaware that he had made a friend. And for that, we are very grateful for!

For one, Edward didn’t have, shall we say, stable relationships in the past. When Old Coppernob was around for the Great Railway Show, Edward didn't get along with him. He ignored him the moment they met, so he's been a loner since. Considering what little he's told me about his "prime" days, I can see why.

And two, I don't think I and the rest of my colleagues have ever seen him this happy before, compared to how he reacted when we told him he'd partake in the Great Railway Show once again. Edward told me everything that happened while he was in the NWR. He was initially apprehensive about James but with the little time he spent on the island, he enjoyed his company. We're glad that he's made a friend.

Sincerely,

Quinn Burns"

.

.

.

Fred chuckled at seeing James’ face scrunch up, curious by one piece of information, joined by George.

“‘Once again’?” repeated James. “He's been to the show before?”

“Sure seems like it, old chap,” replied his driver, folding the letter back up and tucking it back into the envelope. He proceeded to do the same to the other with no writing on the outside. “Let's see what your friend's got to say,” he continued as he opened the letter, the paper audibly wrinkling.

.

.

.

“Hello there!

In all my years, I didn't expect a letter. Much less from another engine, so I would like to thank you for that, James.

I would love to be ‘pen pals.’ And I have managed to find a way, as you can tell. Mr. Burns is a very nice man. I talk to him the most and he was there when the letter came in.

How have things been? I know not much time has passed but still. We might as well start somewhere, should we not?

By the time this letter reaches you, I’ll be at the British Transport Museum. I'll be there until May. Then I'll go back to Derby for a short while. Until then, I won’t be able to answer. I’m truly sorry. I will try to respond as soon as I get back.

Sincerely,

FR 21 Edward

.

.

.

James huffed out steam in a heavy sigh. Of course, something was going on, he thought.

His "Day 1” crew picked up on the disgruntled engine. “Cheer up, old boy,” whispered his fireman, ignoring James’ “I'm not old!” “At least we know when he's going back.”

Knowing Mr. Turner was right, James snorted, eliciting a chuckle from his elderly crew. While this behavior bothered others immensely, this was the norm for the trio. No other crew knew how to handle this particular iron horse.

“We can write back later,” noted Mr. Quill as he heard a nearby shrill. He looked at the source of the sound to see their guard waving his flag. “The line's cleared.”

Satisfied with the suggestion, James agreed. Once his crew settled in, Mr. Quill opened James’ regulator with practiced ease, beginning their journey to the next job.

~

Alternatively: James and his "should've retired by now Day 1" crew.

They have tried recruiting a new crew for years by this point (Fred + George have been working with James since their late 20s) but previous candidates just couldn't get along with James, and the NWR wasn't about to risk an accident from happening because of that. The NWR will take accidents caused by the engines over the ones caused by the crews ANY DAY.

Notes:

The way Edward speaks in his letters versus his actual dialogue will be different (but progressively will be the same) since someone is writing for him, as well as guiding him with what he is trying to say.

Correcting myself with this one because I didn't say what I meant to say: Edward DOES know how to speak but the reason why he's speech is broken is due to the sudden change in his life. He did not have to deal with socializing for 4 decades (1923 - 1963), losing that practice. Now that he does interact with others, its become overwhelming. Times have changed, and so has the world around him. He has a lot to adapt to, such as social standards.

[apomaro-mellow]

Dimension Hopping 4

Steve's routine was this: get up, get some coffee, go to work, sit at a desk for 8 hours, go home, go to sleep, repeat. On occasion, he got breaks, like checking the mail. And sometimes there was even something interesting there. But not even a wedding invitation from an old ex-girlfriend was going to change his schedule.

He didn't even know why Nancy wanted him to come? Was it guilt? Well, after all these years, Steve didn't need pity. He wasn't going to wallow while everyone else gave the new couple their well wishes. He was simply having a drink, in his house, alone, while looking at old photo albums, definitely not wallowing. He spent probably longer than normal looking at a photo of the old gang. Nancy and Jonathan, the high school sweethearts soon to be newly weds, looking in love even back then.

His best friend Robin, who finally had to part ways after working together for years when she got a great job offer in California. That was what kicked Steve in the pants to get out of Indiana and move to New York. And Eddie, who surprised them all by actually graduating and leaving town to make music. Last Steve had heard, he was in the news for setting a stadium on fire. Robin was the only one he regularly kept up with, the others falling by the wayside. Who knew if someone like Eddie would even answer his calls.

He was a few fingers into some whiskey when the phone started to ring. Looking at the clock, it was definitely late for any sort of calls. Steve finished his drink and went to bed, letting it ring.

When he got up, he checked it and Eddie's voice sounded on the other end.

"Hey, Harrington! Long time no see! I got Big Wheel's wedding invite and figured we could show up together! Call me back!"

It was so out of the blue that Steve had to replay it again just to make sure he heard it right. And sure enough, playing it three times didn't change the message. Unsure of how to respond, he decided to just leave it for now. In the years apart, he forgot that one of Eddie's biggest traits was his persistence. He was getting calls every single day, asking him to make the trip together.

Honestly, Steve didn't know why he was ignoring him. He could've said that he was completely uninterested in going, but for some reason he couldn't bring himself to do it. One of Eddie's other significant traits, was his spontaneity.

Which explained why he showed up to Steve's office out of the blue Monday morning.

He looked like he stepped right off stage, jeans ripped to shreds, tank top showing off the tattoos up and down his arms, sunglasses indoors, wavy hair sticking out like he just finished head banging. He looked just as exuberant as he did on Graduation Day.

"You are a hard man to get a hold of, Harrington", he said, taking off the sunglasses, ignoring the confused looks of the other office workers.

"What are you doing here?", Steve hurriedly pulled him into his office and shut the door.

"Uh, wedding? This Saturday? The Big Wheel and Jon-Jon? Or should I start call her Mrs. Byers now?"

"Eddie, I'm not going", Steve said.

"That's funny, I don't remember giving you an option."

"I can't go. I didn't put in a vacation request and I don't have a good suit ready, and it's just weird. It's Nancy, man. You know how things ended with us."

Eddie nodded, almost sagely. "That's why we're going to stop the wedding."

"Yeah. You are going to burst through those chapel doors and say 'I object!'", Eddie pointed a finger to the ceiling. "And Nancy will run into your arms. It'll be like the ending of the Graduate."

Steve raised a brow. "I think you forgot how the rest of that movie goes."

"Regardless, I'm not letting you get out of this. So let's go. C'mon boy! You wanna go out? You want outside?", Eddie patted his legs like he was talking to a dog.

Steve rolled his eyes, grinning despite himself. "Alright, I'll go. But why did you come now? We have a whole week before we need to hop on a plane."

"No can do, Steve-o. I'm on the no-fly list."

Steve froze. "Then how are we getting to Indiana?"

Eddie's answer came in the form of introducing Steve to his tour bus.

"You're driving this thing?"

"Yep. And don't worry about the tux. I got one for us both." Eddie opened up the doors and walked in.

"What about the rest of my clothes? It's gonna take us a week at least to get back to Hawkins."

"You can wear some of my stuff", Eddie said, shutting the door behind Steve and starting up the bus.

Steve picked up a stray article of clothing, so shredded it looked like a dog had gotten to it. "I think I'll passSHit!" He stumbled and fell into a table as the bus took off.

"And awaaaay we go!", Eddie exclaimed.

-------------

Perhaps, belatedly, Steve phoned into work, telling them he was taking his personal and vacation days now. That should cover him until next Monday. Eddie had already gassed up and the bus was stocked with snacks, so he was taking them out of the city no problem. Well, as little of a problem as it could be with a vehicle this huge.

Steve went to the back to find something to change into, thankfully finding a t-shirt and some jeans that were only ripped in the thigh.

"These can't be yours, you still got the legs of a french fry", he said as he pulled them on and zipped them up.

"Some of the other guys have been in this bus too ya know", Eddie said, checking him out from the rearview mirror. He focused a little too much on Steve's ass and had to swerve to avoid a minivan.

Steve fell into the fridge. "Have you driven this thing before?"

"Ehhhh like once or twice when our driver got twisted with us at a party. But I'm no stranger to big vehicles. You know that."

"A van's a lot different than a bus." Steve ran a hand through his hair and sat down behind the driver's seat. "I'm not going to break up Nancy's wedding. She doesn't deserve that. And neither does Jonathan."

"Then why weren't you planning to go and celebrate with them?", Eddie asked.

"...Because it's...it's complicated, you know that."

"I know you and Nancy broke up and less than a week later she was dating Jonathan. And I know it wasn't easy on you, even though it acted like it was no big deal."

"Yeah, well, that's life."

"Doesn't mean it's fair."

"Alright, please tell me your tour bed is clean."

"Gonna me my groupie tonight, Stevie? Ow!", he shouted when Steve flicked him.

"I'm taking a nap. Wake me when you get tired so we can trade off."

Hours later, when the sun had set, Eddie did wake him up, but not to trade places.

"I found this awesome diner, you've gotta come and see!"

"How long have I been out?"

"I figured if we're here, we gotta see if it's the real deal, ya know? KFC acts like they're the authority on chicken in this state but you always need to see for yourself."

Steve was instantly awake, something like dread building up in him as he grabbed Eddie's shirt collar. "Eddie...what state are we in?"

"Kentucky, duh."

"....Why are we in Kentucky?" It had been some time since he looked at a map but New York to Indiana was pretty much a straight shot east. The detour south made no sense.

"You're asking the wrong question. What you should be asking is, is the Colonel lobbying to keep down other chicken restaurants."

Damn Steve's traitorous stomach, growling when Eddie mentioned chicken again. So they ate, in a random Kentucky chicken place that had nothing to do with KFC.

"Verdict?", Steve asked after the meal.

"I think the Colonel's afraid of war", Eddie said, all seriousness.

"No more detour's, okay?"

"Stevie, baby, angel, darling-"

"You remember I'm not a groupie, right?"

"You're in my tour bus, wearing my clothes, you've already slept in my bed."

"All of that is circumstantial. What isn't is the fact that you're obviously trying to prolong this trip and I don't know why."

Eddie wiped the grease off his mouth and hands. "I think you could use the break. When was the last time you got out of the city?"

Steve had no answer. And Eddie knew it.

And so the next day they found themselves at the World's Biggest Rubberband Ball.

"Actually, it's just A rubber band ball", Eddie clarified when Steve complained about the size. It was about the size of a watermelon.

"Well what's the point if it's not huge?"

"The point is, it was on the way to Dollywood, which is the whole reason we're in Tennessee."

Steve crossed his arms. "Really? I thought it was so you could make a 'ten I see' joke."

"The thought crossed my mind", Eddie grinned. "But you're an eleven, baby."

---------------------

Steve was honestly surprised that Eddie didn't get stopped more, but somehow wearing sunglasses and a hat worked. He totally blew his cover in a Missouri diner though, just because he couldn't resist the siren call of the jukebox.

Eddie was halfway through some flapjacks while Steve had gotten steak and eggs when a certain song came on. Steve's head hung as he remembered with perfect clarity the night he heard this song. At Robin's graduation party, her parents had turned in and the rest of them had turned up. And somehow he, Eddie, and Robin, got through a drunken rendition of I Like It by DeBarge.

Thank god Jonathan also had been too drunk to record it. But apparently Eddie remembered it well because he got to his feet and started to sing like he was serenading the whole diner.

"🎵My every thought it you, the things you dOoOoOo, seem so satisfying to me, I must confess it girl~"

He had a syrup bottle in his hand as he pointed to some random woman who was somehow charmed. Someone definitely had their phone out and Steve was sure they knew who Eddie was. He had little time to think about Eddie's socials blowing up when the man turned toward him.

"🎵I like the way you comb your hair. And I like those stylish clothes you wear..."

Even though it was a performance in front of strangers, it all felt very pointed, much more than it had ten years ago. Eddie grabbed Steve's hand like he meant for him to stand but Steve shook his head. Eddie acquiesced and released him, continuing to sing and groove to the other patrons.

----------------------

Steve got his chance to reply to Eddie's call to sing the next night when they decided to have dinner at the bar across the street from the RV park. It just so happened to be karaoke night and Eddie loved performing for a crowd, even if the chance of anyone knowing him was small. A couple of people asked for selfies after he did a much harder rendition of 25 or 6 to 4.

He clearly didn't expect Steve to go up, looking like he was ready to call it a night just as Steve stood and went to the stage. He looked Eddie in the eye as the first beats of Whitney Houston's I'm Your Baby Tonight started to play.

The days they had spent traveling had old feelings bubbling up. Things Steve had tried his best to forget because he could never act on them. But maybe things could be better the second time around.

"🎵Whatever you want from me, I'm giving you everything. I'm your baby tonight. You're giving me ecstasy, you are my fantasy. I'm your baby tonight."

Eddie watched Steve like he had the answers of the universe. When the song ended and Steve stepped off the stage, Eddie grabbed him and pulled him outside. He pushed him against the wall of the bar and kissed him breathless.

"You're my baby", Eddie confirmed when he truly was out of breath.

"I'm yours. Your baby", Steve whined as he chased his lips.

"Do you-", Eddie panted against his mouth. "Do you remember?"

"I remember I could've been doing this for years. Why does this keep happening? Why are we forgetting now?" Steve paused as the rest of the memories caught up with him.

"I don't know...it's like we have whole lives here, but now I remember the other ones too", Eddie said. "How many times have we fallen in love?"

"At least three times", Steve smiled, arms looped loose around Eddie's neck.

"Sooo, feeling better about this wedding?"

"Yeah, especially since I have a date", Steve teased.

Part 6

Tag Team

@goodolefashionedloverboi @xjessicafaithx @newtstabber

[mylittleredgirl]

i'm having a time of it where i couldn't look at screens very much, so i haven't been watching or posting as much about m*a*s*h, but you'd better believe that has left me even more time to THINK about m*a*s*h!!!

buckle up: update for season four disc one!

(after welcome to korea, that is, which was another post)

headline: LOVE the new characters!!

bj has somehow already committed arson?? hawkeye, you are SUCH a bad example for your little brother

at some point down the line i'm sure i will stop infantilizing this grown ass man but for now literally everything bj does i'm like. that's a Baby.

especially when he participates in a bit where they're going after frank or margaret, who he literally just met

you know when there's like a ten-year-old with a strong opinion about something, like "that [toy, tv show, video game] SUCKS!" with all the rage and feeling in their world-weary heart

... and then one step behind them is the five-year-old who chimes in "yeah that REALLY sucks!" but with this innocent delight in their eyes, like they have no idea what's going on but they're getting a really good grade in Big Kid

that's BJ, is what i'm saying

and colonel potter! he's regular army!! but it's ok: he drinks

it's soooo perfect that he and bj share their first o.r. scene. the sweet calming mentor energy... i'm luv him.

and then HE SHOOTS THE DEAD JEEP. i'm still laughing about that. if colonel potter never does one more funny thing again he's still the funniest man alive.

meanwhile! we join our established characters already in progress

frank and hawkeye's relationship gets genuinely hostile there for a while. uncomfortably so, even.

and during the week i was too dizzy to sit up and make this post i spent a LOT of time thinking about this!!!

each of them are spinning out for their own reasons, which play out all over this season so far. frank gained and lost the power he wanted so badly. hawkeye lost both his besties at the same time, and the support structure and identity that went along with that.

but also trapper's absence on its own radically changed the swamp boys dynamic!!

frank has always been justifiably hateable, but there was a SPORT to it, you know? hawkeye and trapper were tormenting him largely to entertain each other, which means they did it a lot but only to the point where it was funny

and think about the "but there's no real hate, right?" in O.R., like in frank's mind, they torture him but they're all still buddies!!! (and the occasional peek into frank's sad childhood could explain this perception)

it quickly becomes clear in season 4 that trapper was a tempering influence between hawkeye and frank, who end up in a full on BRAWL

LIKE A DRAWN OUT PHYSICAL FIGHT

also hard to watch: frank wrecking margaret's tent. hmm. mm-mmm. don't like this.

on the other hand, i loved the "i'm here but we're not doing anything!" scene in the next episode when they're playing cards in her tent. they're always slapping or kissing or scheming -- i feel like this is the first time we ever see them just hanging out like friends

… with anyone, actually. like this thirty seconds of a card game just unlocked an unseen part of both their personalities

something subtle is shifting in this relationship. by the end of "the kids," even sober-margaret is getting in on the joke that frank sucks. i await future developments.

THE KIIIIIIIIIIDS

oh god it's so sweet and harmless. it's healing. i love it. i want to roll around in that episode.

i hope "frank scams a purple heart and hawkeye steals it" continues to happen every season, like the mail episodes

i learned that alan alda directed this ep, which means that he made the decision both in front of and behind the camera for hawkeye to make this face as bj tells a bedtime story:

hawkeye!!!! don't fall in love with straight boys!!!!!

other things:

I'M STILL GRIEVING BY THE WAY

THEY CROPPED MY BOY OUT OF THE OPENING SEQUENCE

THEY CROPPED HIMMMMMM

henry blake memorial bar we hardly knew ye 😢

the moment when hawkeye is like yeah bj, just to get you up to speed: henry was basically radar's dad

any time they mention henry or trapper i have feelings but ALSO i have feelings whenever i think maybe they could have mentioned them but didn't. mentioned them IN MY HEART.

i'm a little fixated on the choice to replace henry and trapper, notorious philanderers, with characters who are immediately identified as Wife Guys

genuinely if y'all hadn't told me that mclean stevenson and wayne rogers wanted out, i would have assumed the character shakeup happened specifically for that reason!

totally other topic but i'm definitely missing some kind of joke here and it's driving me nuts: every time a british character shows up they're heavily spray-tanned. what does it meeeeaaaan??

and lastly. best part of "the bus" is the knowledge that somewhere off-screen, margaret, klinger, and the nurses are running the camp.

[mrs-gauche]

Hello~ o/

Only one more week until DA4's release, to me it still feels unreal! 🤯 But we're almost there ✨️

Since we talked about it before, I hope you don't mind me asking: Do you happen to have any new insights regarding the German voicecast? I still couldn't find any news on it and can't help but be a bit worried now 😥

I think I tried everything in my possibilities to find a snippet through Google but who knows...

Hii! OHH you and me both, my friend! 😭❤️ I've been looking at forums and even websites of different German recording studios since like June and there seems to be absolutely no info on neither the German or the French voice cast, just nothing at all. :( But we know that there definitely IS one, because it says so on the Steam page. 😅 I wonder if marketing just doesn't bother because they think no one cares, but I've actually seen quite a few people now asking about it on their official accounts? I've even heard of people sending e-mails to EA Germany and threads on their forums asking about the VAs, but no response so far. :/

It's really a bummer because thinking back, I remember there was so much stuff shown in the lead up to Inquisition, they even showed some behind the scenes stuff at the studio in Berlin and videos of the different VAs and remember these cool contests where fans got a chance to voice NPCs in the game, even in Germany? Like, comparing the marketing of DAI to Veilguard's is really.. interesting, but then again, that was ten years ago.

DAI was localized by GlobaLoc and I think there's a good chance they're doing Veilguard too, they've done a ton of EA games and also Anthem (btw, I just looked it up, and it seems like Anthem also only had a single German trailer? 🤔), which would make it more likely for DAI's VAs to return? And now that the launch trailer is out (I haven't seen it because spoilers, but apparently it has new voice lines), I wonder if we'll get a little ad for German media or even TV or something and maybe that's when we'll get to hear them finally? 🥲 Aside from old VAs returning, I am dying to know who voices Rook and the companions of course. 😭

As a side note, I recently looked up the website of Solas' VA with a list of all his work, which he seems to update quite frequently and while it doesn't list Veilguard (yet?), I've noticed that he hasn't had as many projects this year as in any other. Localization is usually one of the last things being done in development, it took them about a year to localize DAI and I even remember how he made a post back then talking about how huge of a project it was, so I really hope he returns for Veilguard and maybe he was busy doing voice work for it this past year. 😁

But, you know, even if we don't get any info until release, the good thing is we only have to wait one more week to find out. :D Like, we'll just start playing and it'll be a great surprise.... *nervous laughter*

And as soon as we get to hear those voices, I recommend checking out this forum, where voice obsessed nerds like me will channel their inner detective and figure these VAs out before the credits roll. lol

[notsobxd]

task #3- absence

dear ma,

hi ma, it's james. jim. it's been a while, a long... long time, actually. i miss you.

i bet you're worried sick right now, wondering if i've managed to get myself killed — i'm sure you're looking to the stars and just hoping that i'm alright. hoping i'm alive. that i'm safe. i am, ma, i'm all of those things. i haven't gotten into too much trouble, and morgan is here with me— she's not really assisting in the staying out of trouble part, but you know they'd never let me do anything that would actually put myself in danger. maybe my reputation but, never me— never my life.

so, a bit of an explanation— i got stuck in this town on a planet called 'earth,' which is honestly a pretty fascinating planet. i remember hearing stories about it but, i always thought it ceased to exist. yet, here it is !! the town im in, it's called evermore. i know... weird name for a town, right ?? i thought so too. what's even weirder about it is that you can't leave it— no matter what you do or where you go, you'll always end up right back in town. that's why i haven't come home. that's why i haven't been able to contact you. i've written tons of letters like this but... space-mail isn't really a thing. not yet, anyways.

i've been here about a year or so now, though i'm not entirely sure. time seems to move so much slower on earth and yet i feel like the days are slipping through my fingers. i had a girlfriend for a little while, you would of loved her. her name is rosetta. she was... like everything you could have dreamed of for me to find in a partner. she was a gardener, and she LOVED flowers. i think you would have went crazy seeing how different plants are on this planet. she had this wild red hair and always was dressed to the nines, and her accent ?? it was adorable. she was adorable. though, as you can assume by my use of the past tense— we're not together anymore. she wanted to settle down, start a life here, make evermore WORK but... i'm itching to get out, ma. i can't stay here for the rest of my life. not when there are so many corners of the galaxy left to explore. it was for the best, and i still care for her even if i am lousy at showing it, but, god you woulda loved her. i know you would have. you both could have mothered me together, scolded me for not getting my life together in unison. now that woulda been a sight.

i've done a lot of things i'm not proud of here. i've fallen back into old habits, had some brushing-of-elbows with the law, made a couple enemies.... your head would likely be rolling hearing about some of the nonsense i get into— especially when me and morgan are left to our own devices but... i'm doing my best, ma. i'm thinking about you everyday. i'm thinking about you and the inn and long john silver. you've always been the strongest person i've ever known, and i wish i had a way to show you sign that i'm alive and i'm doing okay.

i've got some cool friends amongst the enemies, and... theres this girl i've had the most embarrassing crush on for as long as i can remember and i'm finally getting to know her. ma, she is out of this world. getting to hang out with her, to hear her thoughts, to see her smile ?? it's greater than any treasure i could find or adventure i could go on. she has the most fascinating outlook on the world, and everyday i get to know her a little better. she helps to keep me grounded, reminds me that there is still adventure left to have here. i don't know why she gives me the time of day but man— i'm a lucky dude for it. don't get too excited, though, i'm not going to tell you her name. i don't want to jinx it, but maybe one day, if i don't mess this up, you'll get to meet her. i hope you do.

i miss you more than words can describe, ma. i'd give anything to have you here with me right now. you always worried about losing me, but i promise that no matter how many lightyears apart we are— you'll never lose me. i'm still upholding my promise, and i'm gonna make you proud.

look for me in the stars, ma. that's where i always seem to find you.

your son,

jim.

[regular-lord-reckoner]

it is spring time and appropriately, i have been a very busy bee !!

i'm on much needed pto and it is wonderful. i somehow managed to get completely caught up on all my work before i left so i'm not stressed about when i go back next week

i've mostly been sleeping a lot which i desperately needed and i've been doing a lot of things i've meant to for a while now

namely scheduling doctors appointments and updating my insurance everywhere i need to and that sort of shit, plus some legal stuff my mom and i are doing for some of my dad's stuff.

since monday i also started finally working on my closet again. i had to stop last time and toss everything back in there because...yeah, but now that i can spread some things out again i've made a lot of progress so far

every day i go in with the goal of getting out at least one bag of stuff to throw away and i've also moved out a bunch of clothes i'll need to sort through and a few other things i might be able to give away

feel like i can actually breathe in there again so that's nice. needed that. i'll probably work on it some more over the next two days and then take a break but it should be a lot easier now that i've really gotten the ball rolling to finish it up and fingers fucking crossed this time it'll be all done by the fall where it can just be my nice closet again and i can actually find things !!

i also finally went to get my oil changed today and fortunately there were no other problems so that went smoothly !! i got it washed, too (not that it matters now because it's pouring rain outside now lol) and i stopped to get my mom a birthday card and a gift bag for her present since her birthday is on monday !!

other than all of that i'm just trying to take it easy and unwind. trying to still rest a lot and not push myself too hard or do anything i don't feel up to.

for the past, mmm, i dunno, while i've just been full of piss and vinegar if that wasn't evident so i've tried to just be real quiet and keep to myself until i can feel less overwhelmed.

i'm still in that time out corner for now but i'm starting to feel a lot better so that's something! i've been doing a lot of cleaning lately as well (i did my bathroom on monday and will be doing laundry all throughout the week as week as well as the usual dishes and garbage duty) so that usually helps me feel a bit better.

it's also very cathartic just...throwing a bunch of shit away !! and having more space !! yay !!

oh, i also finally had therapy again after like...a month and i'm not sure yet what my new insurance situation will look like, but i think we're all happy to be done with my old insurance (she was telling me about something weird they did that i just...cannot fathom (something about mailing her a paper credit card that no one would accept ?? idk), but oh well, good riddance !!) and i'm slowly but surely working on paying her back !!

lastly, i tried a new coffee place today because i'm still trying to figure out which local coffee spot will be my new favorite now that i no longer haunt starbucks or dunkin and i went to this new one today and i....i definitely ordered a chai...a 32 oz one at that because why not, i love chai.... whatever they gave me definitely was not chai.

i'm not sure what it is exactly, but it's definitely got coffee in it and i thought at first maybe it was a dirty chai but no. and it's no big deal, i took it and just drove on but what's baffling to me is i was the only customer at that time.

nobody in front of me, no one behind me and maybe they were doing a mobile order or something but i had to sit there for a few minutes while they made it and it was...not at all what i was expecting, but also not bad !! haven't had an iced coffee in a minute so i'll take it !! (they also put a little chocolate covered espresso bean on the top which was very good)

anyway, i thought that was kinda funny. i've also finished all my chores and errands for the day now so i might take a nap or i might read or who knows what i might do, i actually have time to myself !!!!

just wanted to give a little update since for once it isn't me just bitchin' about things XD

hope if you're reading this that you're doing well and i'll be back to being a human (or as close to it as i get) ....sometime !! <3