#this is actually about carfucking

[finalgirlsamwinchester]

SPN 1.01, 'Pilot' | Andreas Malm & the Zetkin Collective, 'White Skin, Black Fuel: On the Danger of Fossil Fascism' | Titane (2021) dir. Julia Ducournau | SPN 1.20 trans., 'Dead Man's Blood' | SPN 5.08, 'Changing Channels' | | Crash (1996) dir. David Cronenberg | SPN 6.06, 'You Can't Handle the Truth' | SPN 2.02, 'Everybody Loves a Clown' | Georges Bataille, 'Death and Sensuality' | SPN 1.16, 'Shadow' | Tetsuo: Iron Man (1989) dir. Shinya Tsukamoto

[lornacrane]

Max out of context: it’s not that I’m embarrassed to talk about the 10-year-running joke about me fucking cars, it’s that this particular joke about it isn’t actually funny

[fuzzy-robot]

having an absolute blast getting back into hunting for records. transporting myself back into an era where you have to read an unknown artist's aesthetics to tell you what kind of genre and vibe you're working with. obviously this one is "songs to fuck your car to"

[thisfanisgonesorry]

how about some quick fuck with hobie after the show? she gives him a nice bj in a quiet alley and he fingers her in the car otw home…

ty for the ask <3 i wrote most if the same day you sent it and then started dying, hopefully its good! got a lil lazy at the end because i have no object permanence but i tried my best :) 

tags: smut, estab, blowjob/fingering duh, love the carfucking trope, public sex/voyeurism, almost caught oooo

🕷

We slid out the backdoor of the venue, and Hobie let out a long sigh. The tension quickly dissipated as he felt the fresh air on his face. “Fin’lly.”

“You alright?”

“Yeah. Long night.” He spoke, slumping against the concrete wall. “C’mere, love.” He opened his arms in a loose hug, gesturing for me to hug him back before he forcibly pulled me into it due to taking too long.

He pressed kisses into my neck the second that it was in kissing distance. His hands slowly, and taking their sweet time too, fell from around my shoulders to land around my waist, keeping me in place as he pressed his body wholly against me.

“Lovely girl.” He mumbled. 

“I can feel you.” I smiled, whispering in his ear.

“Sorry.” He lied. “Y’re just so good.” That part had been truthful; his kisses found their way up my neck and onto my cheek before he kissed me sweetly on the mouth. “So good to me.”

There was an abrupt screaming heard from the main drag as the rest of the band left through the front door. Signing autographs, taking photos. The commotion was audible, and there was a moment of guilt for anyone trying to actually sleep in this city.

He turned his head to the sound, his eyebrows knitting slightly.

I slid out of his grip and kneeled on the dirty pavement, feeling the scraping against my skin. He turned his head quickly to meet my gaze, sucking in a sharp inhale as he held his hands awkwardly to his sides, not sure what else to do.

“Oh.. Fuck.” He breathed. “That.. ‘s good.”

“Mhm, you look real tense.” I answered back, rubbing my hands up his thighs. His hands awkwardly found their way to his crotch, being a gentleman, he unbuckles, unbuttons and unzips his pants and pulls himself out. 

“Y’so good t’me. Y’know exactly what I need.” His breathing was quick, and he continued to look towards the screaming.

“No one knows we’re here.” I spoke, spitting in my hand and kissing his hip. I gingerly stroked his length, feeling his muscles tense at the touch.

“I know..”

I pressed a chaste kiss on the side of the base, watching all the air leave his lungs in anticipation. I continued slowly stroking him before licking a straight line up the backside of the whole length, then taking the tip in my mouth.

“Shit.” He hissed. “Love it when y’do that.”

I swirled my tongue on the underside of him, and his hand reached for the back of my head, not pushing; just holding. His eyes stayed glued on mine as I hollowed my cheeks and slowly took more in my mouth.

“That’s it, baby, shit, take it.”

The slow movement down was driving him crazy until eventually my nose pressed against his stomach, his mouth fell open and I held the position, feeling him twitch at the very back of my throat. I kept him there for a moment, and he was trying his best to not thrust into me.

“Y’look so fuckin’ hot on y’r knees in that cute li’l skirt. Could cum from jus’ seein’ my dirty girl like this.” He panted. “Can’t believe y’re suckin’ me off in an alleyway.”

I pulled off for air, kissing the side of his base again. “Can’t believe you’re lettin’ me.” I moved back, but this time I began to bob my head at a gracious pace, he grabbed a handful of hair but wasn’t tugging harshly. 

I placed my hand on his, telling him it was okay, and he took that and ran with it, grabbing more hair and moving me back and forth on him, fucking my face but still being gentle enough to not make me deepthroat him.

His volume increased and he was cautious of the crowd of people just around the corner. There was only so long that he could last like this.

“Someone could catch us—” He started, choking out a groan and his dick twitching at his own ideas. “Fuck, the look on their face.. Seein’ m’cock down y’r throat.”

I pushed on his thighs, and he took the hint quickly, letting go of his movements and instead quickly started moving both of his hands to hold my hair in a makeshift ponytail, keeping it out of my way.

“Y’re so fuckin’ beautiful, love.” He commented, I moaned around him at his words and a low growl was his response. “Love the way y’r eyes look up at me. Love the way y’look on my prick, shit, y’re way too good f’me.”

His words were admittedly egging me on, making it so I started going faster and taking more of him. He groaned in response, his grip on my hair tightening as I wrapped my hands around him again, stroking what I couldn’t reach, my other hand wrapped from his thigh to the back of his leg, trying to ground myself.

“Baby, ‘m gonna cum.” He moaned, closing his eyes and throwing his head back, careful enough to not slam it right against the concrete wall.

I hummed around him, expressing delight that he was there so quickly. His breathing got heavy and he weakly thrust into the blowjob, ruining the rhythm but it was getting him off.

“Y/n—” He whined, his gaze falling back down to me and he pulled me off of him, quickly wrapping his hand around mine.

I poked my tongue out, keeping my mouth open as his hand guided mine to stroke him to completion. Quick, long strokes that made him swallow thickly, trying to contain his noises so the crowd didn’t know we were here. 

“Hobie.” I breathed, letting him feel my hot breath on his aching skin.

I moved my head up slightly, pressing my tongue flat against the bottom of his tip, he let out a loud curse, followed by a mess of groans and moans as he came on the wet softness of my tongue.

He panted, begging for air as he watched it pool on my tongue. I held it on display for him as he quickly tucked himself away, making quick glances to the crowd’s noises. His eyes silently begged for me to swallow him, going wide in anticipation. 

I dramatically swallowed his spend, letting him hear the gulp sound.

“I don’t deserve you.” He said matter-of-factly, pulling me to my feet. “I gotta get you home..” He trailed off, speaking to himself as he quickly walked us to the car. 🕷 Halfway through the drive home, his hand on my thigh started exploring more, gradually going higher.

“Bet y’re so wet.” He groaned in admittance to his thoughts, letting his fingers brush against my panties and confirming his suspicions. “That from blowin’ me?” He tried to joke, but it didn’t land when all the air left his lungs and it came across like a desperate plea for validation.

“Course it is.” I responded back, biting my lip and trying not to squirm at his invasive touch as he groped what he could.

He let out a shaky exhale as he slid his hands through the waistband of the panties, his eyes kept flicking to me, glancing briefly before focusing on the road. In the middle of the city, this would not be the place to lose attention.

He ran his index and middle finger up and down the wetness briefly before pushing them in, inwardly cursing at himself when he felt the wetness swallow him.

“Such a perfect pussy.” He praised. “Love fuckin’ this pussy, love how it clenches around me, jus’ like that.”

I covered my mouth with my hand and looked out the window, squirming under his touch and biting back any sounds that threatened to leave my mouth.

“Babyy..” He cooed.

“What?” I hesitantly responded, turning to him.

“Make them pretty noises f’me.”

“Hobie, we’re.. Mhm.. Focus on the road.” I answered, stifling moans. He spoke sweetly and adoringly, as if he wasn’t knuckle deep inside of me.

“‘M gonna fuck y’brains out.” He said bluntly despite how loving it sounded. “Bet y’re gonna make a mess all over m’carseat, yeah?” He commented, fingering at a steady pace.

I tried to close my legs around his hand but it was useless, I turned away from him again, hiding my flushed face. “Hobie..” I whined, grabbing his hand. “An alleyway is one thing, but in the car is another.”

“What? Scared some fans might come up to the window?” He teased, struggling to keep his eyes on the road. The city was packed full of fans, walking around post-show, and every now and then, he’d be recognised through the car window.

I helplessly tried to grind against his hand, chasing the orgasm, however he halted the moments, using his elbow to push me into the seat and stop moving around.

“Relax. I’ll be good to you.”

“I know.”

“Are you gonna let y’self go?” He spoke sweetly, continuing his actions.

There was a moment of silence where all that filled the air was desperate pants as he did what he wanted. He carefully drove through the streets as if nothing was happening, completely as oblivious as the outside world.

I grabbed at his hands, lifting my hips for a better angle and glancing out the window. “So many people are staring at us.”

“They ain’t got a clue, love.” He responded with a cocky tone. “Y’re fuckin’ y’self on my hands, but y’still worried about someone catching you?”

“Shut up..” I mumbled, still looking out the window to avoid his gaze as I tried to ride his fingers in the small amount of room I had to move.

“Speak up.” He spoke, doubling his efforts. “Look at me, pretty girl.”

I finally turned to him, resting against the headrest, he was trying to keep eye contact while also driving safely. “The road.” I spoke through stifled moans.

“Y’really gonna take away the best part of this f’me?” He joked, keeping his attention on the road. “I gotta see y’cum or gotta hear it. Which one, darlin’?”

“Fuck, Hobie.” I finally moaned out after denying it to myself (and him); “You’re so annoying.” I laughed softly, though the laugh ended quickly as another moan escaped my lips.

“Can’t take y’seriously right now.” He joked back.

“Eyes forward.”

“Look at you, takin’ my fingers so damn well.” He praised, keeping his elbow pressed against my stomach, limiting my squirming. He wanted complete control over how I’d take him. He kept his eyes glued to the road, letting his mind wander as my sounds filled his ears.

“God, how are your hands that fucking good?”

“They were made for you.” He purred, an intoxicating sweetness to his words as he toyed with me. “Also, playing guitar helps.”

“Close.” I moaned. “Hate those stupid hands.”

“Can feel it. Can feel how much y’love ‘em.”

He paused, the car stopping at the redlight. “Hobes, please.” I whined, careful of bypassers, knowing that anyone could recognise us.

“Y’right there, darlin’, go on, baby.” He beckoned sweetly, I clenched around him and a low growl dragged from his throat. “Calm down a li’l, thought y’didn’t want anyone to see?”

He watched intently, his mouth falling agape, wanting to take in every detail on how I unwound with him fucking me in his carseat. It was a sight that he’d print onto the back of his eyelids. 

“Shit, right there—” I cried out, feeling it hit me fast and hard. I writhed against his hands in the car seat, praying that I wasn’t making a mess like he predicted. I rode it out as best I could, grinding helplessly.

“That’s it.. Always so pretty f’me.”

He pulled his fingers out, sticking them between his lips and tasting the sweetness as I covered myself, pulling my skirt down to be decent. 

“Y’taste so damn good.”

“That was..” I hummed, he leant over the console, pressing a kiss on my lips and placing his hand back on my thigh.

“I know.” He smiled, his eyes glancing to the window.

There was a knock on the window and he smiled at them. My eyes went wide and my cheeks flushed. “Oh my god.” I mumbled.

He rolled the window down in the console, leaning over me to talk to the fan. The light stayed red with a long line of traffic ahead of us. I covered my face with my hand, resting my elbow on the car door, watching them interact.

They talked for a small moment and I felt the embarrassment rise in my chest. “Hobie, the lights green.” I mumbled, nudging him.

“Of course.” He smiled sweetly, waving goodbye to the fan and pulling away. The interaction ended shortly, and he nudged me as he leant back in his seat. “Y’re so red.” He laughed.

“How aren’t you mortified?”

“I don’t have stage fright.” He winked.

[skitskatdacat63]

Happy Birthday to Seb, and Seb only.

+ some explanations

I realized as I was making this, some of the little stuff probably only makes sense to me, and maybe people who have been following me for a while atp. So I wanted to explain some of the little details I included cause I really love them!!

First of all, I wanted to incude my original sketch for this(from like 5 hours ago lmfao), bcs I find it sooooo cute. Look at him!! Little guy!

I. Fernando's Gift

This is of course a reference to the Fernando teddy bear, but more specifically to the vettonso comic with the bear I drew a while ago. As you can see from my sketch, this is the first gift I came up, which I'm pretty happy about!! It's always so cute to me no matter its form. Though...I don't think teddy bears existed yet in the early 1700s, but Fernando found a way, okay? I like to think Fernando is all gruff in the beginning, but gives Seb this or something similar and remarks "to keep you company when I'm back in Spain," and then he has to pretend he has food poisoning rather than living with having said something so sappy.

II. Mark's Gift

I don't think this is really a reference to any specific post of mine. Dog!Mark is just an important Mark characterization in general, but especially in boy king au where he is really reduced to the status of dog by virtue of his upbringing and vocation. He definitely plays this off as wanting Seb to get another hunting dog(something he advocates for often. Seb knows it's entirely self motivated but loves to humor him bcs its cute to see how much he loves dogs. Well Seb loves dogs too, one dog in particular-)

III. Jenson's Gift

AAAAHHHH I'm so proud of this one bcs of how many leves there are to it!! I couldn't for the life of me think of what Jense would gift him but then I remembered I characterize him as horse obsessed(read: ye olde carfucker.) So this is basically the ye olde version of him getting Seb ultra detailed minatures of his cars. HOWEVER this is also a callback to one of my favorite posts I've ever made, back when I translated Seb's car names into Latin. So it was fun to actually get to canonize that in a way. ALSO! BTW! Those horses are specifically Lipizzans, which are a very iconic horse breed in the Habsburg Empire and Vienna specifically. A horse breed sought after by the Habsburgs for both war but also riding schools, and they still remain as the breed of horse trained in Vienna's Spanish Riding School today. The emperor Seb is based on comissioned the school's main riding hall, and his portrait still hangs above where the riders enter. So I thought that was a fun little easter egg to include!

Also the characterization in this is so funny. I guess I'd consider them a polycule, like they're a unit and all have interesting relationships between each other. But one of the main focuses is the kinda love triangle between sebmarknando. Like Mark and Fernando constantly fighting for Seb'cs undivided affection and attention. But as per usual, Jenson, who is on the sidelines, swoops in effortlessly with the most perfect gift ever. I feel like he understands and gets along with Seb the best out of the three, but just doesn't want to deal with such a complicated thing so he's satisfied being a bit distant(he secretly takes a lot of joy one-upping the other two. It's impossible to not crave your ruler's attention, no?)

[carletes]

Lando getting hot and bothered while being passenger princess in a sports car (I just know he's a carfucker I'm certain)

Hgiftbn!

It must have been going on for a while, but it took Lando by surprise when he realized. Carlos had been working for Lando for maybe 5, 6 weeks. They had made several trips to the grocery store together, Carlos kindly offering to drive the McLaren GT while Lando took his many (many) phone calls in the passenger seat. It was an easy routine, one that Lando loved, but he hadn’t had cause to get in the car much by himself.

Not until sometime in early May, one of Carlos’ days off, and Lando found himself needing to go into the office for once. It was a…quiet drive. Because he was expected in person, no one was blowing up his phone. He actually had the time to play some music. And he had time to think. So he thought. And his thoughts kept going back to how odd it was to be in the car without Carlos, how odd it was not to be in a passenger seat, glancing over at Carlos, his easy, sure posture, the flex of his forearm as he steered the car, the way Carlos draped his arm behind Lando’s headrest as he backed out of a parking spot, his jaw thrust out with focus.

The car felt warmer than usual. Almost as warm as when Carlos accidentally draped his arm across Lando’s shoulders instead of the headrest, his knuckles brushing the back of Lando’s neck and left ear. When he’d realized, Carlos laughed a little breathlessly and apologized, but Lando’s skin had been hot.

Lando swallowed. He could feel that touch even now, the goosebumps that had been on his skin. Sometimes, Carlos would hum when he drove. Sometimes he’d swear under his breath if someone tried to get a little agro on the road; the barest growl of joder. He’d get embarrassed at that, as though being caught swearing out of anger was more horrifying than the easy, casual cussing they did around each other.

Then there was the time someone had tried to race Carlos. It had been a later grocery run than usual, a later day for Carlos than usual, and it was hard to ignore the bright lights of the Lambo that had pulled up beside him. The car revved up, a challenge. Carlos looked at Lando.

“He wants to go.”

Lando rolled his eyes. “He can go himself.”

But then he’d seen the hunger in Carlos’ eyes, the way his knuckles tightened on the steering wheel slightly. The barest flick of tongue against ample lip.

“Yes,” Carlos had said instead. “Of course.”

But his voice was deep. Wanting.

And Lando realized with the benefit of hindsight that he was then, as he was now, turned on.

He shuffled in his seat, trying to will down the tightening in his pants. He couldn’t go into the office with a semi. He wasn’t that kind of boss. But fuck, Carlos was hot, fuck, Carlos was nice, and fuck, Carlos looked good driving Lando’s fucking car.

Enough. He needed to think about anything else. And he succeeded too, incredibly, but he made a promise to himself.

So a few weeks later, when Carlos and Lando were en route from the grocery store (another evening trip) and a car revved up beside them, Lando turned to look at Carlos. Carlos had that hungry look in his eyes again, deeper and darker than usual. He parted his lips to say something, but Lando beat him to it:

“Do it.”

Carlos’ eyes widened. He stared at Lando. “What? Are you serious?”

“Do it,” Lando said. “I want to see it. You, beating him, I-I mean.”

Amazingly, kind, careful Carlos didn’t argue. He just grinned a wild grin, his incisors pointy, and he adjusted the gears with expert hands. He revved back. And then, when the traffic light turned green, Lando barely had time to take a breath before he was pushed back into his seat as Carlos floored it.

It was a drag race, and Carlos was committed, and he was good at it, and he was-

He was so sexy.

Lando didn’t know he was gripping Carlos’ thigh and laughing until it was over and Carlos had wildly outpaced the other car. Carlos had been silent the whole time, and when they finally came to a stop, they both laughed, breathless and excited and wordless. Carlos let out a whoop and then started driving more sanely as they drew closer to Lando’s building. They giggled the whole way there.

Once back in the parking lot, Lando got out of the car and thumped the roof of it happily.

“I knew she had it in her,” Lando beamed, and Carlos stepped out with a chuckle.

“Did you know I had it in me?” he asked, and there was hope in his eyes, and his hope was rewarded when Lando said, “Y’know? I did.”

Carlos’ eyes widened just so slightly. He smiled at Lando, broad and gratifying, and murmured, “Thank you. For trusting me.”

“Yeah. Always,” Lando said, and he surprised himself with how much he meant that.

They gazed at each other for a few moments, Lando’s heartbeat picking up with each nanosecond. Then Carlos cleared his throat and said, “So, shall we grab the groceries?”

“Why don’t you start,” Lando laughed. “I need a moment after that, Sainz.”

Carlos snorted but he did as he was asked.

And that was for the best. Lando needed to will down another semi.

[sacharowan]

okay no because the image of like blushy ass sebchal finally getting their shit together bc well .. what are they gonna do?? NOT listen to their fave hot old men?? (do we think butter stay there the whole time telling them what to do or do they let them have their fun indivudally first and then show up for round 2 ?)

also honestlty mark webbers face after a race where seb has done a seb esque move on him and then half a lap later charles leclerc does the same thing.... it would be a picture (he recovers because he gets some revenge later on in the drivers rooms)

(also actually rbr era seb and charles (who im imagining is somehow a red bull third driver bc he deserves nothing less than the best car on the grid and also i think both seb and mark would enjoy him in the rbr fireproofs (as would i bc the 2010 rbr design was cool as hell) wheel to wheel battles would be so enjoyable to me personally i'm upset its physically impossible for it to happen but also like you just know sebchal would be having the time of their LIVES out there (if you think the monoco victory boner is bad imagine the post sebchal rbr wheel to wheel boner)

also the post race sex would be WILD (no matter which combination we take bc those boys are nuts)

also not to gross anyone out by bring h*lm*t up but if he treats charles as the boogeyman who could single handedly end rbr dominance NOW and has done even when charles was driving the dreaded sf-75 i think a charles who can go full on mental in a red bull with sebastian vettel cheering him on would genuinely end him and that is exactly what he deserves (also bc i can in this au mattia binotto suffers a freak accident and is never seen within 1000 feet of scuderia ferrari management) all is right in f1

im so sorry but im genuinely obsessed with this dynamic now its made a home in my brain

yeah!!! another thing that makes sebchal so similar to each other is how much they're affected by their favourite hot old men. of course they would do as they're told!! I think butter would definitely come in for round two and be teasing about whether or not sebchal could actually do what they wanted without them there. bc they know that sebchal just wanna be good >:))

mark would be so pissed off but also really impressed with the two of them doing the exact same thing. like obviously he's annoyed about not winning but goddamn those overtakes were sexy as fuck. and anyway he can take what he wants later ;)

ooh charles as red bull third driver. I hadn't really considered how he'd logically fit into this universe but I like it. maybe that or toro rosso or smth. idk . but him in any of those cars would be so fucking sexy and seb (carfucker supreme) would not be able to resist.

sebchal wheel to wheel battles!!! they'd definitely be intense. who can blame them from getting horny from that? certainly not butter who get to reap the rewards before sebchal get their shit together . and the slutty podium champagne would just make everything so much more insane.

oh h*lmut would not survive two menaces on the same team. both incredibly talented drivers who have the whole paddocks in their hands. and driving the way they do? nope he'd just keel over and perish. and mattia doesn't get to even consider f1, sebchal are safe from him.

yeah same this universe has made a place in my brain and I love it (I mean, I also need to go to sleep bc it's 1.45 but ya know)

[zmediaoutlet]

happy ww 💚 what is a fic you'd like to see but wouldn't want to write yourself?

hello, happy wincest wednesday --

Friend. Pal. Comrade. The truth is that I never want to write the thing myself. Every single fic I think of, I want it to arrive magically in my hands for me to read without me having to put in all the painful work to get it done. Trouble is, I also want that fic to be exactly how I want it with my understanding of the characters, so -- if that's what I want, how the hell else am I going to get it without writing it myself. :/ It is a real drag being such a hard sell.

So, that said. One of the (many) fics I'd like that I don't want to write is a specific AU off of that time travel ep with the god Chronos -- what's that, s7? -- where Dean goes back to the '40s, and in the AU Sam would go back to find him, and they can't get back. First of all, fun desperation about being trapped out of time? Yes? Second, fresh wincest (or maybe first time in a long time, I actually like that infinitely more) as a comfort in this weird place. They could theoretically get found by the Men of Letters since they're time travelers and Abaddon hasn't killed them all yet -- haven't decided if I'd want to put that in there or not. Either way -- hunting instantly becomes harder and more interesting because there aren't cell phones and it's just slow, slow, rumor and library research, etc. Would they get straight jobs to get by on cash? Would they get a house as "confirmed bachelors"? Would Dean find a '40s car he'd like as much as the Impala? (Could he fuck it, given that it's carfucker week?)

All fun things. But I just don't want to write it. For one thing you also have to answer the angel question, even if it's s7, but whatever. Cas is in the wind and the other angels hate them. I guess Sam's in his crazy phase but he's handling it, more or less. The atmosphere would be great. Wincest in a barn by lantern light with the car outside. All sorts of good stuff. But... [lazy writer noises].

[mistressemmedi]

I just put 2 and 2 together and figured out who carfucker dilf is and my god LOL yes those are rumors, no way would he stray. But did he actually fuck a car? Where did those rumors come from?

The rumor came about because he is just obsessed with cars in general 😂

[alexalblondo]

had to exclaim about it to someone !!

reaction on twt seems to be happy enough; seems like the people agree that he's a nice enough lad :)

glad to have another mctwink to support

hopefully he slaps rast up a little bit

I love that you choose me <333

and yeah, people do seem happy though I know some where holding out for Oliver Turvey (sad to see him go)

Likely will not actively support this McTwink the struggle of supporting two is enough and if the car shown in the release is the actual car I am avoiding McLaren Fe for aesthetic (carfucker) reasons cause she's very boring for being this orange

but omg, please, I need him to run circles around Rast for the pettiest meanest reasons 😂💪

[12romy]

This is BRILLIANT

So a few headcanons of mine:

Seb invests the kitchen of the tardis which has probably never been used before other than for making tea

He probably tries to convince they should set up a beehive AND a compost in the tardis. He probably succeeds too, so there's a garden in the tardis. Even after he leaves, it's still somewhere in there, forgotten between the third library and the second pool, except when it moves around. The doctor keeps finding it, once in a while, and sits under a tree to listen to the buzz of the bees. That's why there's always fresh honey for tea.

He probably lectures the Doctor about the climat change and all that, and the Doctor lets him even though he knows all that already

What if. The doctor picks him up not long after he retired. Seb is in the whole "I-will-be-forgotten-soon" mood because he's frankly stupid and is very good at self-deprication. The doctor helps him realise that NO he won't be forgotten and that he's Important. And you know, just helps him with managing his self-esteem in general.

After the incident where Seb has to pilot the tardis, he actually befriends her and the Doctor is a little jealous. But we're talking about "I-give-names-to-my-cars" carfucker Seb. So when his pep talk actually works, because he always gives pep talk to his cars but they never really worked before, he's just jumping on the opportunity. He keeps talking to her and it's great because she answers, and they can gossip together about the Doctor. Seb got SO MUCH blackmail materiel on him after that.

When Seb and Jack meet, they engage in a contest to know who has the worse pick up line and try them on the Doctor, obviously. They are, however, surprisingly efficient when it comes to having to interrogate someone for info because nobody can resist the two of them flirting at the same time. (And they probably fuck at some point, too. And just maybe the Doctor gets traumatised by walking in on them. Poor Doctor.)

Okay I know River isn't much present with Ten and I totally agree that Seb should be a Ten companion. But my god if they did meet they would team up to bully the Doctor together it would be beautiful. And since Seb is an absolute nerd he'd get along so well with her since she'd an archaeologist (and a really badass one)

He cries when the Doctor takes him to the very first F1 race ever back in 1950.

One of the regular friendly banter Seb has with the Doctor is about how he dresses because he finds it ridiculous to be in a suit all the time. Of course the Doctor is not impressed because Seb looks like a hobo, and tries to improve his dressing style. He uses way too often the excuse of "it doesn't fit the timeline" just to dress him up in classy clothes. He also disaprove of those ugly hairband and teaches him how to do manbuns. (I just need manbun!seb to exist somewhere, okay???)

Even after he left, Seb keeps tabs on the Doctor and smiles to himself everytime he sees the mention of a blue box, or aliens, or anything that could've involved him.

There is one story he tells his own children again and again, even though he knows it by heart. The story of a funny man travelling in a blue box...

seb would make such a great companion to the doctor😭😭😭

[maranello]

allowed to interact: tifosi, charles fans, schumi fans, baby tifosi who are curious about the team, halfway tifosi who are slowly being dragged into hell with us (welcome), tifosi but in the correct way, charles fans but in the correct way, mclaren haters, italians, tifosi who actually understand why ferrari is special (it’s not their current drivers, it’s their long history and story and the passion carries on through generations, nearly a century, the dreaming, the striving, being born to race and racing to win-), charles fans who have good taste in other drivers (i.e. lewis hamilton), charles fans who don’t reduce him to a caricature of “poor little meow meow” or “road terrorist chaotic demon baby” or “fruity whore with tiny waist and nice tits,” charles fans who love him the way ferrari loves him and are simultaneously ferrari fans who love ferrari the way charles loves ferrari, charles fans who understand the nuance of how charles is not defined by the people he lost but how they are still deeply significant to him and that the people he lost are fully fleshed individuals who are worth celebrating on their own without being seen as just a part of his story, charles fans who don’t psychoanalyze him and just. let him be a person, schumi fans who actually like schumi himself and don’t just talk about him in relation to seb or mick, people who don’t namedrop schumi for the clout, people who don’t use schumi as a prop for their agendas to put down others’ achievements or to justify others’ actions, mick fans who understand what the ferrari legacy means, seb fans who are tifosi, brazilians, tifosi who survived interlagos 2008, people who grew up with complicated families, f1 fans who practice reading/critical thinking/nuance, content creators who don’t create for the notes but also struggle with wanting that sweet sweet validation, writers who don’t actually write anything but like to come up with ideas and torture their friends with them, tifosi who hate ferrari but will never like another team ever, supporters of red teams, people who grew up watching michael schumacher win it all with ferrari, long suffering radio engineers, vintage ferrari merch enjoyers, history nerds, gatekeepers, carfuckers, people who actually care about social issues in real life beyond virtue signaling in fandom for internet popularity points, and enzo ferrari.

[kaijutegu]

Tell us more about your ex please

I am very glib about how he was in love with his jeep and not with me, but this is actually a saga of just... a really sad, shitty relationship that one party was completely uninterested in (him) and the other party was desperate to keep alive because she believed that it was the only way she’d ever find acceptance (me). To this day I’m very bitter about it because I spent so many years telling myself that this was all the love I could ever get, and that this was the pinnacle of somebody caring for you- treating you like a complete afterthought but kissing you sometimes so... you know, he loved you, right?

And it took me until I was in my late 20s to realize that actually, no. I didn’t have to devalue myself so much. I didn’t have to force myself to seek out romantic love which would never actually be fulfilling for me because I don’t actually value romantic love and I actively dislike sex. What I really value is communication, emotional openness, and enough safety to be emotionally vulnerable. I never had that in any romantic relationship. But the love I get from my closest friends is what I need to keep me going. That’s where so much of my self worth comes from. My close friends love me so much more than he ever did, and it took me far, far too long to realize that. 

Another thing it took me far too long to realise is that I love my close friends far more than I ever loved him. The faith we have in each other, the trust, the openness, the support- the emotions I feel for my friends run so strong and so deep that it makes my forced attempts at romantic love seem empty, looking back on them. I live knowing how much I am loved and cared for, something that never happened when I was trying to make romance work.

But you want to hear about my carfucking ex! So! Here are some other things that took me WAY TOO LONG to learn.

1. I’m asexual/aromantic, but when I was in HS/college, I choked this all down because I desperately wanted to fit in with the rest of society. I was truly only interested in dating him and in marriage (with him and in general) because it would make me look “normal” AND be a way to get out of a shitty family situation (my mom has long-been really terrible to me and it was SO MUCH WORSE back in high school and college). But also, that’s just what you did where I grew up. You dated, you got married. I didn’t realize there were other options actually available to me for a really long time.

2. Looking back on it, he was probably super depressed or something, because literally the only thing he had passion for was his car and sometimes music. Everything else he’d care about for a little bit and then become completely apathetic. Apathy was kind of his standard of existence, which is very sad.

2A. I mean literal passion for his car. He did fuck it. Repeatedly.

2B. He only used the tailpipe once as far as I knew, and he did stick something in it so that he wasn’t just inserting his penis into a metal pipe. There’s a gif of somebody sticking a fleshlight insert into a tailpipe and revving the car so that it wibbles around hilariously. I don’t think he made the video that gif was from.

2C. Mostly what he’d do is get in the back and use the seats. I’m not going to illustrate this any further. I will say, however, that this was not a very cool car. This was a Frankensteined Jeep that was like... a 70s CJ7 body with some weird top welded on. It smelled like exhaust when he had the roof on and the paint was hideous.

2D. I am not kink-shaming here. If him fucking the car was just a kink, I would have been all “ok this is weird to me but hey, let’s talk about this in a healthy, respectful way.” We did that with other kinks! He had many! I had a few but they were really weird and intense! And we talked about them and that was actually ok- it was like the ONE thing he was interested in communicating with me about. But this was a full on “neglect the human you’ve been involved with for seven years so that you can spend time with your car” situation. I lived in London for a while and when I got back he didn’t want to hang out with me. He wanted to work on his fucking car. I asked him to come over, and he said if I wanted to swing by, he could take a break from the Jeep for a little bit. Again, I’d been on another continent for months and that was his reaction to me being back. We broke up a few days later.

3. Animals did not like him. When he met my bearded dragon for the first time, Roro took one look at him and bit him right on the hand. Was the bearded dragon a better judge of character than me? Probably. We went to church the day we broke up and on the way out to his car, a bird shit on his head. Even the birds didn’t like him.

4. The carfucking wasn’t the only reason we broke up- we were super incompatible in a lot of ways. Another big one is that he just flat-out refused to communicate and talk with me about basically anything. He was also incredibly miserable at fulfilling my emotional needs- so like, we had these dances in college, dorm dances. He came to all of them but would bitch about it the whole time, and just sit there looking miserable and refusing to talk to me or my friends. I ended up crying at all of them because if he didn’t want to come, then why DID he come, and all I wanted to do was spend time with him and like... if he didn’t want to come then he shouldn’t have, I could have skipped the dance and we could have done something else. That sort of thing. All the time. I remember once he sent me flowers because he’d really hurt my feelings and I told my friend Maria that “man, he’s just so good at apologizing,” and in retrospect that was not a good sign! At all! And it turns that he WASN’T good at apologizing, because it turns out that giving someone flowers isn’t actually the same thing as communicating! AT ALL!

4A. Secretly I’ve always wanted somebody to ask me to dance because of the way he treated me at those dances. Now the social anxiety and dislike of crowds actually makes me typically flee those situations, but man if a pretty girl asked me to dance I would... really appreciate it. Maybe I’d even take her up on it. Maybe.

5. While by and large I’m not interested in doing sex things with other people, this one time we - actually you know what, I’m putting this behind a cut. this story is NSFW and also highly blasphemous so, uh, if you have... look if you think that church buildings are sacred maybe don’t click that read more. Also don’t click that read more if you don’t want to read an actual sex story. You have been warned. 

Ok so I’m gonna have people super fucking mad at me in the notes because this was very blasphemous but this was genuinely the one partnered sexual experience I had that I actually enjoyed and didn’t fake climax to get it over with quickly. Plus I think it’s a pretty great story and probably explains a LOT about the both of us. So anyways, we played in the rock band for teen masses in our hometown. It was me on keys, him on bass, his dad on lead guitar, and his brother on drums. Well, one night we were cleaning up, and his brother and dad and the priest took off and were were young, dumb, and horny, and I’d very recently renounced my Catholicism and started dealing with the trauma caused by Church doctrine, so we, uh.

we went into the confessional (it was one of those fancy old-fashioned confessionals that are small wooden rooms) and got weird with it. and by weird I mean i, uh. i’m trying to describe this in the most clinical terms possible but how do you say “I bound his hands with rosary beads as he went down on me in a confessional while I ordered him (in Latin) to tell me his sins and do penance” in anything other than an extremely sexual way? Like there is no clinical way to describe that. There is no non-sexual way to describe how you once ordered a man to kneel before you and beg for forgiveness. I took him to church years before Hosier sang about it. The only way it could have been better (for me) is if one of us (me) had been wearing priest vestments. If I’m going to hell for getting eaten out in a church, I’m gonna make sure that I’m taking everyone else involved with me.

5A. Of course this was the church I’d set fire to years before. Where else would I have done this? As a matter of fact, it was the same confessional.

[maulthots]

It's actually super disrespectful to the concept of carfucking that the word wasn't banned. Like there was a whole movie about it this year.

[samsflannel]

survey results are in!

sorry, this is gonna be a long post. yesterday i posted a survey with a list of polls regarding Supernatural, and it was SO much fun. I got over 300 responses, which was A LOT to sort through for the short responses, but I’ve gathered all the “data” and here it is! My responses to each poll will be under the screenshots (they are in groups of 2). I’m going to include the short answer responses in another post. ENJOY!

1. Starting off strong.

2. Pleased with this one as well.

3. Yep, I expected this response from most of us.

4. Sami, I made the wincest and destiel response just for you. YW.

5. CMON YOU GUYS......live a little!!! samjack sexy

6. I’m not really surprised that Playthings got the bulk of votes here, but I think my vote would have been 8x23.

7.  :)

8. i’m disappointed that more people didn’t choose the yellow one tbh

9. it is sexy. it is. wake up.

10. i love Dean, but he’s definitely an asshole. and that’s what makes him a great character!

11. hehe.....i understand why not a lot of people picked noncon bait....u r valid its ok im gross.

12. WHO THE FUCK PICKED NO......have you ever consumed media

13. WBK.

14. damn, Dean kinda got the short end here! a lot of samgirls took this survey

15. i get why you wouldn’t like Bugs bc it does have harmful stereotypes about native ppl but the rest of it is peak season 1 wdymmm

16. almost 50/50 here! old vs new fans we love to see it. I am definitely wincest old guard.

17. YEP. Eric Kripke needs shock therapy for that one

18. The fact that some people admitted to being dry.....tragic. I think Eileen is a great character but they are NOT endgame.

19. SO YOURE JUST GONNA SIT THERE AND ADMIT HOW WRONG YOU ARE??

20. ugh. yeah. same.

21. who tf picked blue. cmon. red meat incest agenda.

22. SAM MOMMY MILKERS!!!!! hucow sam <3

23. Mixed on this one! My response is obviously yellow :)

24. I do think Bobby favored Dean somewhat.

25. Johnzazel agenda so true

26. HIGHKEY CANON. AND SEXY

27. someone requested a combination of blue and yellow and you’re so right i apologize.

28. mixed on this one for top vs bottom fans! almost a 50/50 split

29. ANNA DID NOTHING WRONG

30. I can’t believe this one is almost 50/50. Ruby girlboss you guys are haters

31. again. admitting you’re dry. THEY FUCKED

32. yeah :(

33. Q-anon level conspiracy theory.

34. I actually fall into the blue. I do believe Cas was in love with Dean, but not the other way around. I think Cas loving Dean makes wincest so much more spicy

35. I love sam so much

36. those of you who answered yes........join my movement.

37. c’mon. even if you don’t ship wincest you need to admit this one.

38. sorry this one was self-indulgent.

39. JESS PEGGED SAM.

40. idk, i personally think Cassie deffo pegged Dean. She has top energy.

41. So all the people who answered no have definitely not read the fic (were too young to remember it) or are squicked by underage which is ok! its one of those fics i read back in 2010 so i have fond memories of it

42. hahahah you guys were mean on this one

43. it’s canon bro sorry

44. thank god this one was majority yellow

45. i give wincestiel a valid pass! dean has multiple holes

46. Jack is hole <3

47. I actually think both are great (and ppl were mad I didn’t have that option srry) but deanpussy is incredible and underrated.

48. SEXY>>>>>>

49. thank you for enabling me.

50. can you guess the redacted part? it was: insert various objects into himself :))))

51. ok heres the big question! i’m not surprised ilysmmbb won, but i personally vote for “yeah, there he is” !! i think its underrated and such a tender moment.

52. i’m in the blue. i like cas.

53. i actually am in the yellow on this one. i think its more realistic, although blue is hot forsure

54. top 3 cas moment right there.

55. objectively yes on this one. thank god for COVID- *gets shot at*

56. sorry this was shady i’m not really like this usually haha. i think death is my fave besides Rowena

57. obviously i’m in the red. i’m shocked that so many people said Yes.......

58. Clearly.

59. I enjoyed fan fiction! i love campy episodes as you all know (like Dog Dean afternoon and such) so i loved fan fiction. it was a nice nod to someone like me who has been watching for a long time.

60. HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU NOT KNOW WHO ANDY IS. i wish he would have been in the show longer........

61. uh....yeah.

62. Yeah c’mon. Dean would and you know it.

63. Thank god you guys didn’t fuck this up. I would agree, but Corbett is a close second for me.

64. IN THE RED BABY!!!!

65. we love a man bleeding out. we do.

66. i actually think misha is chill with J2 but.....you can’t deny J3 have more chemistry.

67. I uh......don’t think Dean would be a great father. is this me projecting my own issues with my father onto Dean? maybe,,,,

68. i’m surprised this was so negative! I think i would be interested

69. thanks for reading my shitty poetry!! i also had s4 dean in mind when writing this

70. CMON.....ITS KINDA SEXY CMON.......that spice of battered wife syndrome.......violent man in the house.......sam beaten down....im barking

71. haha yessss go yellow.

72. go yellow again.

73. I think I would actually vote yellow on this one. what a sweet and beautiful thing to say to someone, and its so very DEAN.

74. mhm. i think so. 

75. SEXY CONTROLLING OLDER BROTHER!!!!!

76. no idea why people answered yes to this one. that punch was fucked up. was it sexy? thats another story,,

77. WOKE. 

78. I do. I love pilot Dean.

79. Dean is a carfucker. any side of the fandom can recognize that

80. thank you GREEN!!!!!!

81. Sam is bi wtf! Sera Gamble erasure

82. Padackles commune <33333 they all fuck and they don’t know whose kid is whose!!!! (not really but this is sexy)

83.  THESE BROTHERS ARE WEIRD FOR SURE.

[erving-goffman]

titane thoughts

- i'm not a carfucker so like the synopsis & concept of the film itself wasn't that compelling to me on paper BUT i'm trying to actually watch the stuff people recommend to me more often & i really liked Raw so i thought i'd give it a chance. and i ended up liking it way more than i thought so :)

- anyways the dance sequence set to doing it to death - the kills at the beginning is what sold me on it. the dizzying close-up shots with the zoom-out on the crowd at the end, alexia's gold two-piece set with the neon fishnets, the women dancing while men are watching both them and the car with the same gaze...... gorgeous.

- that's the only needledrop i recognized but the rest of the soundtrack suited the moments well. also the sound editing itself was so well-done? like that moment when alexia stabs the guy in the ear and the sound dulls out while we watch him die.

- that said, the stabbing in the ear reminded me of aomame's killing method in 1Q84 lol

- the serial killing made sense to me! we get to alexia at the tail end of her career, when she's grown more accustomed to killing & is getting reckless w it. she probably started when some dude gave her grief & she had to get rid of him for her safety, then kept going when that worked (the TV said 4 men had died). she doesn't have a high regard for other people's lives, and i think when she gets comfortable killing for her safety she gets comfortable killing for stress relief (like when she killed her date after she couldn't abort her baby - the rest of the housemates were collateral damage).

- i don't think the titanium plate had anything to do with the serial killing actually. from when she's a child alexia's shown to be impulsive, and it probably grew into inconsiderateness as she grew older & her parents didn't care for her like she needed. like i think it made her fertile for car sperm but the serial killing is separate from that.

- the pregnancy horror was really interesting to me. i think it contrasts with say Lyle or Rosemary's Baby because in those films, the babies are wanted, and the pregnancy turning sinister wrecks plans for the future. alexia does NOT want this baby, but the pregnancy turning sinister is what makes her accept them. i will be thinking about this more.

- i don't think i "got" this film in the end bc i didn't really care emotionally about her connection to the dad. i wanted to know more about the serial killing and the pregnancy horror. the version of the film i would've found more cathartic would've had alexia & the dad fight it out at the end i think. but i do like intellectually how this ending wraps up the themes.

- the scene where alexia dances on top of the firetruck is so clever & gorgeous. like in the beginning she's surrounded by cars and men, but she's not trying to look sexy, she's dancing for herself and no one else, and the men are Seeing him apart from the truck and even if they think he's goofy he doesn't have to worry about it.

- maybe my ears don't work right but i swear at the end of the movie the dad calls his kid "alicia" not "alexia". if i'm right that's kinda neat: even though he's supposed to know his true identity then, he still gets it wrong, but it still doesn't matter.

ok that's the important stuff 😌