#this is absolutely amazing and wonderful oh my fucking jesus

[song-of-tinuviel]

[machveil]

Do you have any favorite König fic recommendations? Love your art BTW 🩷

yes, anon… yes I do [gets choked up] come with me, I’ll show you some

I’ll share sfw and nsfw ones - nsfw below the cut! ALSO, please support the writers!! send them some love! likes, reblogs, comments, get up in their business about how good they are🎀✨ they deserve so much for writing amazing works

SFW (I’ll preface by saying PLEASE just go binge @gremlinmodetweeker’s blog, I’m begging you):

gremlinmodetweeker’s König of the Icks series is actually my favorite Tumblr series and I really recommend it: part 1, part 2, part 3 - I regularly go back and read these

I have a bias on how gremlinmodetweeker writes König in general so here’s some rapid fire suggestions: König having a big appetite, movie nights with König, König’s quirks, general König notes, and their general König Dump

from @notsomellowarchiveofchaos I suggest König with a stutter (poor man) and König making you a blanket

OKAY @writersdrug absolutely blew mind with early mornings with König, but also! their random König headcanons!

@tacticalprincess’s version of dry texter König is top tier

from @konigsblog, calling König cute and König’s lisp

please make sure to read content warnings (CW) and/or trigger warnings (TW)! your comfort comes first, check the fic before you read it<3

NSFW:

back to writersdrug! I have a handful of fics to recommend: König fucking you to sleep, random König headcanons, kissing König, period comfort, and riding

a handful of fics from konigsblog: König giving head (absolute top tier post), König’s stutter, boxers or briefs, Loser!König getting a hug (poor man), and König’s oral fixation

oh my god, also follow @ghostsangel because, oh man, they always hit. anyways, some of my favorites are on the kitchen floor and TouchStarved!König (oh my god)

@evilgwrl only writes bangers so… slobbery König (jesus christ) and Neighbor!König

last, but certainly not least, the wonderful @rowarn! tired König, König helping you after a rough day, overstimulated König absolutely going through it, back at it again with another overstimulated König post, and a double whammy to end it off on, König using you as a fidget toy and you using König as a fidget toy

[cowboylikeyouu]

🦾 WINTERHAWK RECS 🏹

@bl0ssomized asked for some winterhawk fic recs & i took that as my sign to finally sit down, go through my 500+ bookmarks and provide y'all with my fav fics <3 if you end up reading/enjoying any of these, PLEASE make sure to leave a comment on ao3, the authors deserve all the nice words in the world!!

about this list:

most of these fics are pretty popular in the fandom, so this list is more directed at new fans just joining the winterhawk paradise!! (there's a lot on here tho, so maybe you find one you haven't read yet)

mika/bee asked for little to no smut, so i'm not gonna rec any pwp works here (with a few exceptions). if you want smut recs, hmu tho, i got y'all

there's obviously still smut in many of these fics, but i tried to tell you if it's important/skippable or not. if you don't mind smut i obviously recommend reading it bc GOD these authors just know their shit, but i think nobody should miss out on the amazing long fics just bc they don't like smut :)

i put a "notes" section for every fic where i just yap about it and/or my feelings towards it for a bit bc i literally can't shut up about these two guys.

alright, i think that's all, let's go!! pls tell me if i messed up the links somwhere :)

50k+ words 

Lucky In Love by dr_girlfriend 

words: ~60k 

important tags: no powers AU, oh my god they were roommates!, friends to lovers, mutual pining 

notes: every time i give winterhawk recs to a new fan i start with lucky in love, bc even tho it’s an AU, it has soo many of the typical winterhawk tropes i love so much. PLUS: roomates. and lucky. and every chapter is titled “aw, [something], no” and i find that way too funny to not mention. idk it’s just one of that fics that gives me the warmest & fuzziest of warm fuzzy feelings and i think everyone should read it. 

smut: even tho it has the wonderful, wonderful tag “not gonna tag every sex act just trust me there’s plenty”, there’s actually not that many. in my opinion, the perfect amount for a 60k, 21 chapters winterhawk fic. it’s quite a slow-burn, so they’re only in the later chapters anyway, and the build up to it is soOoo good. this is one of the fics where i know exactly where to find the smut scenes so feel free to hmu. 

Like Real People Do by Kangofu_CB

words: ~67k 

important tags: “i actually just wanted to watch these two idiots fall in love in a secluded cabin ok”; civil war fix it 

notes: no one, NO ONE  gets me like this fic, it checks like every single one of my boxes. perfection. not lying when i say it’s my favorite fic of all time. it doesn’t have a special premise or anything, but that’s the good thing about it. it’s just so… cozy. comfy. feels like home. i can’t even remember if like real people do is my favorite hozier song because of this fic or if it’s my fav fic bc like real people do is my fav hozier song, but i know that i never cried as hard as i did when i heard lrpd live and could only think about this fic. nothing makes me feel as good as re-reading this story, i want to eat it.

smut: yes, but only like 2,5 scenes. hmu and i tell you the exact fucking paragraph number or smth, this fic is literally engraved in my soul. thank you CB. some day i’ll leave a 2k words comment on every single chapter. 

The Other Man out of Time by sara_holmes 

words: ~97k 

important tags: time travel, falling in love, clint barton centric 

notes: okay, objectively speaking: this is the best winterhawk fic in existence. not my absolute favorite bc it makes me cry too much, but definitely top 3. no other winterhawk fic made me sob this hard, no other winterhawk fic makes me wanna curl up on the floor and cry for an hour every time i think about it. that being said: IT HAS A HAPPY ENDING!!! and a lot of stuff in between is SO sweet as well. premise is basically: clint travels back in time and fights in wwii alongside bucky and they fall in love. and then bucky!canon happens. you get it? you get it. it’s- UGH it’s so good. jesus. i’m crying. 

smut: a few short sexy scenes i think, but no SMUT smut, and it’s definitely definitely DEFINITELY not the focus of the story. can’t emphasise enough how much everyone should read this 

Hipsters get Remembered, Legend’s Never Die by sara_holmes

words: ~90k 

important tags: millennial bucky barnes, awesome clint barton, recovery 

notes: millennial bucky is one of the most entertaining things fandom came up with, and this fic is the epitome of that trope. love love LOVE. plus, clint’s really fucking awesome in this. 

smut: yes, but only like two or three times in 11 chapters, easily skippable

Puzzle Pieces (series) by sara_holmes 

words: ~446k 

important tags: steve/tony, kid fic, emotional hurt

notes: if you don’t like stony this one isn’t for you, just skip to next one :) if you like stony: GOD pls read puzzle pieces!! the first 200k words fic is stony focused and has only pre-slash winterhawk, but even tho they don’t get together in this one yet it’s literally one of my favorite clint/bucky portrayals of all time, no one gets them like sara, it’s perfect. the stony/kid fic storyline is SO amazing as well, so if that’s your cup of tea, check. it. out. after that they’re a few longer winterhawk instalments, and while some of them are really angsty and painful, there’s always a happy ending. god i need to re-read this entire thing. it makes me wanna cry and throw up in all the good ways. 

smut: some, but you can definitely skip it.

I’ll keep you safe here with me by sara_holmes 

words: ~110k 

important tags: kidnapping, PTSD, mind control aftermath & recovery 

notes: ngl i haven’t read this one in a long time, but everything by sara is perfect and this one’s one of the most kudo’d winterhawk fics, so it’s basically a must read. everyone needs to read a good clint & the winter soldier fic at least once

smut: it’s rated mature, so no really explicit smut. can’t remember if they don’t get a bit horny tho.

A Heart Worth Loving by Kangofu_CB 

words: ~82k 

important tages: soulmate AU, no powers AU, modern bucky barnes, forced cohabitation 

notes: GOOD FUCKING SOUP. soulmate au AND they were roommates????? beat that. it takes them ages to figure out they’re soulmates, which makes this equally amazing and frustrating, but it’s all so so worth it 

smut: yes, at the end of it. you CAN skip it, although i recommend skimming through it and read the dialogue parts and stuff. 

if you were a mythical thing by Kangofu_CB

words: ~75k 

important tags: teachers au, kid fic, werewolves 

notes: quick story time for this one bc i remember it so so well lmao: winterhawk olympic bang 2022, most authors had started to post their fics except for CB and i KNEW she had written one, and i was literally checking my emails every hour for days. and then she finally posted it and i already started screaming when i saw the taylor lyrics as a title, and then i read those three tags and literally had to sit on my floor for 20 minutes to calm down bc i was so excited. i remember posting like 20 stories on my private insta that were just me keysmashing lmaoo. idk but teachers + kid fic + werewolves is just such a BONKERS combination, and i can promise you’re in for a treat, it’s so so fun. 15/10. 

smut: yes, but it takes some time to get there and it’s skippable

Adventures in dogsitting by Call_Me_Kayyyyy 

words: ~53k

important tags: friends to lovers, dogsitting, pining 

notes: another olympic bang fic, thank you. cute, fun, lots of lucky content :) good soup 

smut: NO SMUT

Under My skin (series) by finely honed 

words: ~360k

important tags: Steve/Tony (the “main” instalment is stony focused), PTSD, Life after the army, AU - Tattoo Parlour 

notes: the “first” instalment is a stony fic (one of my all time favs honestly) but with a lot of amazing side-winterhawk, and there’s a winterhawk spin-off, that’s a prequel to the stony arc, so you can just read that first if you want. it was one of the first english winterhawk fics i’ve ever read and it always makes me wanna cry when i think about it (in a good way).

smut: they’re quite horny in both big instalments, but i would say the smut is skippable. it’s not un-important for both the winterhawk and the stony dynamic tho, so i wouldn’t recommend doing that

This is Not a Date, it’s a Kidnapping by sara_holmes 

words: ~50k 

important tags: Fake Kidnapping, also real kidnapping, Bucky Barnes recovering, fake relationship 

notes: all sara_holmes is good sara_holmes, but this one’s one of my favs, it’s just so fun. GOD i miss winterhawk olympic bang 2021, this was such a blast to read when it first came out!! 

smut: NO SMUT

Freedom’s Reach by dr_girlfriend 

words: ~68k 

important tags: arranged marriage, western/historical AU, slow burn 

notes: aaaand another  winterhawk olympic bang 2021 fic! pretty sure this one was my fav during the bang, like i remember hitting up a friend of mine and screaming at each other for like an hour every time a new chapter dropped, we were SO invested. very good soup. 

smut: yes, but it’s a sloooow build, so it’s only in the later chapters. pretty sure it’s easily skippable 

ghost in the machine by squadrickchestopher

words: ~75k 

important tags: fake character death, heavy angst, ghosts, loneliness 

notes: UGHHHH clint “dies”, becomes a ghost and only bucky can see him. touch starved clint final boss basically. amazing shit. painful shit. (happy ending tho) 

smut: it’s rated explicit and it’s by squaddy, so i’m like 99% sure there’s smut, i actually can’t remember tho lmao 

Barton’s Halfway House for Ex-Brainwashed Assassins (series) by Kangofu_CB 

words: ~90k 

important tags: the slowest burn, the mcu reimagined completely, accidental baby acquisition, found family, kid fic

notes: this one’s an ongoing series, and it’s such an amazing one, you can feel all the love that’s been put into this. you have to go through like 60k of slow burn before winterhawk actually happens, but it’s soooo worth it. plus: kid fic. kid fic’s always good. 

smut: yes, but only in the 3rd part and the short pwp oneshot. easily skippable

something magic, something tragic by squadrickchestopher 

words: ~55k

important tags: supernatural elements, vampire bucky, enemies to lovers 

notes: VAMPIRES!!! that should be enough to convince you to read this fic!! and it’s by squaddy, it literally can’t be bad if it’s by squaddy.

smut: ughhh not entirely sure, pretty sure the mature rating is mostly for violence, but, again, it’s squaddy, so it’s very possible there’s some sexy stuff hiding in there.

Sweet Home Was Home by there_must_be_a_lock 

words: ~110k 

important tags: “i sorta made my own franken-canon”, christmas fluff, soft feelings

notes: i found this one on accident once when i wasn’t really expecting to find another PERFECT long ass winterhawk fic i haven’t read yet, and then i binge-read it in one night, and it’s honestly one of the best i’ve ever read, it’s so so soft and… healing. for both bucky and clint and myself. it’s really not as popular as it should be imo, definitely worthy of a place on the first page of the ship tag!! highly HIGHLY recommend checking it out!! 

smut: yes, but skippable 

10k - 50k words 

Starving for the Light by thepartyresponsible 

words: ~45k 

important tags: magic AU, soul bond 

notes: jesus christ i wanna eat this fic so bad. definitely my favorite 2021 winterhawk olympic bang fic, it’s just THAT good. need to re-read it entirely to make sure, but i think it’s in my top 10 if not top 5 fav winterhawk fics of all time. clint’s just so… beautiful in this, idk how else to describe it. and idk, it has a such a unique premise and setting, i love everything about it. 

smut: yes, but skippable. 

Historic Features by flawedamythyst

words: ~19k

important tags: ghosts AU, homophobic violence 

notes: oooohhh my god, don’t make me think about this fic i’m gonna cry. it’s actually pretty fun and cute and fucking awesome, but clint & bucky’s backstory in this?? i’m ugly crying, leave me alone. premise is basically: they’re ghosts and haunting the apartment they died in years ago, scaring everyone who tries to live there out of it. then steve and tony wanna move in. it’s fucking great. 

smut: NO SMUT 

Call It What You Want To by Kangofu_CB 

words: ~48k 

important tags: modern bucky barnes, sugar daddy

notes: clint becomes bucky’s sugar daddy on accident without realising and it’s the funniest fucking shit i’ve ever seen, god i love him so much. plus, again,,, millennial bucky barnes. gimme all the millennial bucky barnes.

smut: 3 or 4 scenes i think, starting as early as chapter… 2??? i think??? pretty skippable tho, as long as you read like the foreplay and everything.

A Thistle Cannot Grow by ccbytheseashore

words: ~12k 

important tags: kid fic, developing relationship 

notes: AHHHSDJGHSKJDHG. enough right?? i’m always a sucker for some good dad!clint & soft!bucky content. this one’s so so sweet it’s one of my main comfort fics, can’t recommend it enough if you love kid fics! 

smut: yes, but it’s literally only like 500 words of frotting, you know when it’s coming and you know when it’s over :) (it’s amazing tho) 

Attachments by Lissadiane 

words: ~22k 

important tags: high school au, mother hen bucky barnes, clint barton needs a hug 

notes: i KNOW many people don’t like high school AUs and i don’t fucking care. teenage winterhawk has so much potential, i love them to death. which is exactly why you should read this ;) 

smut: NO SMUT

Outnumbered by sara_holmes 

words: ~18k 

important tags: kid fic, triplets, no powers AU, bucky comes home to new york 

notes: another single dad clint fic, but give him 3 boys this time!! —> chaos. amazing chaos. + amazing bucky. good soup. 

smut: NO SMUT 

Once Lost (now found) by Teeelsie 

words: 40k 

important tags: hurt clint barton, on the run, self sacrifice 

notes: hurt clint barton final boss. this was written for whumptober, so you can imagine how bad it gets. SO worth it tho, even if you don’t really love that kind of stuff! 

smut: NO SMUT (pretty sure clint’s too hurt to have any kind of sexual thoughts <3 stupid stupid stubborn man. i love him so much)

The Best Worst Thing (that hasn’t happened to you yet) by sara_holmes

words: ~48k 

important tags: enemies to friends to lovers, rescue missions 

notes: if you’re into comic winterhawk and read their tales of suspense run, you should definitely read this fic. if you haven’t read tales of suspense, go do that now and then come back to the fic, bc it’s basically a rewrite that gives us the bucky/clint & nat dynamic we fucking deserve

smut: don’t think so?

skylines and tan lines by flawedamythyst

words: ~33k 

important tags: no powers AU, coronovirus lockdown, long distance flirting 

notes: this was literally my fav fic during lockdown, i’m not lying when i say i read this at least 20 times in 2020/21 lmaoo. it’s just such a fun concept; bucky’s living with peggy/steve, and their dynamic is so enjoyable. 

smut: there’s quite a bit of sexting & phone sex, plus a smut scene at the end. doesn’t take up the entire fic tho, and the rest is worth it as well. 

Behind Bars by sara_holmes and Behind Bares (On The Other Side Remix) by flawedamythyst 

words: ~32k (sara), ~25k (amy)

important tags: prison AU 

notes: sara’s fic is the original, amy remixed it and wrote if from clint’s pov (with quite some changes). i love both fics, but i definitely read the remix more often and prefer it, but i highly recommend reading both, they’re amazing!! clint & bucky are cell mates!!! and it’s angsty!! a little bit!! 

smut: can’t remember what it’s like in sara’s version, but it’s only rated mature soo... there’s definitely one or two smut scenes in amy’s fic, but easilyyy skippable, only like a few handjobs or smth i think.

What do you mean we left Clint on Mars? by sara_holmes 

words: ~25k 

important tags: outer space, falling in love, clint feels 

notes: a classic. falling in love long-distance is soo fun, and i love it when author’s touch-starve clint, so there’s that <3

smut: NO SMUT

A Christmas Miracle: Getting Lucky by Lissadiane

words: ~11k 

important tags: christams, hallmark fic 

notes: LUCKY!!!! i read this every single christmas. you should too. you’re welcome. 

smut: NO SMUT 

Dear Super-Secret Diary by flawedamythyst 

words: ~16k 

important tags: christmas fluff 

notes: clint is bored and gets a diary (and the guy). a christmas must-read, it’s fun and cute and fluffy!!! one of the few times i will accept first person narration bc, well, it’s a goddamn diary 

smut: NO SMUT 

winterhawk punks in love (series) by 1000_directions 

words: ~19k words 

important tags: punk au, amputee bucky, deaf clint, ptsd, emotional hurt/comfort, recovery 

notes: punk!winterhawk is so important to me I NEED MORE OF IT!!! this one’s such a perfect mix of happiness and angst and comfort UGH it just hits that spot. 

smut: yes, but the fic’s still amazing if u skip it 

Apple Of My Eye by flawedamythyst

words: ~40k 

important tags: clint barton’s farm, found family, domestic 

notes: FARM FIC FARM FIC FARM FIC!!! bucky, clint and wanda basically start an apple business on his farm, and it’s just soo comfy and awesome.

smut: NO SMUT

Alone in the Bitterness by Lissadiane

words: ~16k

important tags: no pwers au, nurse bucky, disaster clint 

notes: nurse bucky nurse bucky nurse bucky nurse bucky!!! do i have to say more?? 

smut: NO SMUT

Team Spirit by Noxnthea 

words: 17k 

important tags: case fic, enemies to lovers lite 

notes: noxnthea is such an underrated author it’s a literal crime. i normally don’t love case fics that much, but this is a ghost hunters case fic AND their banter is so fun that it really doesn’t matter for me this time 

smut: NO SMUT

Reach Out by Kangofu_CB

words: ~11k 

important tags: 5+1, a lot of sex tags, porn with feelings, feelings realisation 

notes: CB’s smut always hits different, and idk, the +1 of this is just sooo funny and adorable, i love it to death. read this more times than i’ll admit. 

smut: basically pwp, big no no if you don’t like smut. 

Storms Within (Bridges Rebuilt) by Kangofu_CB 

words: ~11k 

important tags: star wars setting, force sensitive bucky & clint, crack treated seriously 

notes: guys you can’t imagine my excitement when the notif for this fic popped up in my emails. luke skywalker is one of my top 10 all time fav fictional characters AND HERE HE IS INTERACTING W MY FAV BOYS IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!!!! it’s so so good, if you’re into star wars you’re gonna love it!! (even if not, it’s by CB, impossible to not enjoy)

smut: NO SMUT

Draw, Breathe, Fire by FestiveFerret

words: ~15k 

important tags: falling in love, flirting, banter 

notes: haven’t read this in a long time, but i’m pretty sure it was like a perfect little bucky-recovering-and-falling-in-love-with-clint-while-living-in-the-tower-fic. he learns archery!! pretty sure they also adopt a ferret or something???? good shit

smut: NO SMUT

Hoist a Black Flag by Kangofu_CB 

words: ~11k 

important tags: pirate au 

notes: ITS BASICALLY AN OFMD AU OKAY HOW CAN U NOT LOVE IT???

smut: yes, but skippable

Cupid’s Arrows by flawedamythyst 

words: ~14k 

important tags: office AU, valentine’s day 

notes: clint dressed up as cupid, bad pick up lines, shenanigans. haven’t read this in quite a while, but i remember i enjoyed it A LOT a few years ago and re-read it multiple times!! 

smut: NO SMUT

The Best Thing since a Double-Shot Expresso by sara_holmes 

words: ~11k 

important tags: coffee shop AU, misunderstandings, getting together 

notes: friends to lovers final boss. they’ve been best friends (husbands) for years and literally live together, and it takes them an insane amount of jealousy and steve’s ass to finally get together. such a fun read, highly HIGHLY recommend 

smut: NO SMUT

Habits of My Heart by Kangofu_CB

words: ~18k 

important tags: Fuckbuddies to Lovers, no powers AU, grindr 

notes: fuckbuddies to lovers with loads of pining will always be THE most realistic winterhawk depiction for me, sorry not sorry. this one’s extra fun bc steve and nat have been trying to set them up for months, but they’ve been already hooking up for months. it’s great. 

smut: yes, but easily skippable.

In Which Peter Is Everyone’s Favourite Avenger by DestroyedConscience 

words: ~25k 

important tags: Twitter, everyone is gay, gen z humor 

notes: look, this is an unfinished, non-winterhawk-centric twitter fic, but as a fellow winterhawk twitter fic author i just HAVE to recommend it. if u like this kind of thing, go check it out, it’s so fun :) 

smut: NO SMUT

Look What The Cat Dragged In by flawedamythyst

words: 22k 

important tags: Bucky Barnes is a cat lover, domestic fluff 

notes: i haven’t read this in years, but i KNOW it was great. at this point just go check out amy’s account and read all of her winterhawk fics, she has over a hundred and they’re all great!! but this one has them co-parenting alpine, so it’s extra great!!

smut: NO SMUT

My Heart Will Be Your Home by dr_girlfriend 

words: ~49k 

important tags: soulmates au, single parent clint barton

notes: soulmate au plus kid fic guys, i repeat, SOULMATE AU PLUS KID FIC GUYS!!! BY DR GIRLFRIEND!!!! GOD i miss winterhawk olympic bang 21/22 this one was such a blast to read when it first came out. 

smut: yes, but skippable 

Chrome Plated Heart by dr_girlfriend 

words: ~20k 

important tags: pacific rim fusion

notes: i’ve never seen pacific rim and i still had a blast reading this one!! (she put a basic explanation for it somewhere in the story notes, so dw about it!!). it was SO nice to read a fic where they’re not heavily traumatised and just have a chill, easy getting together. really sweet stuff

smut: NO SMUT!!

Know When To Hold ‘Em by flawedamythyst

words: ~11k 

important tags: exes to lovers, no powers au, cambling 

notes: UGHHH i need more fics like this one, it’s so so SO good!! flashes back and forth to the time when they were first together and when they meet again and skjdghlksdhg my heart just hurts so much for both of them. (happy ending tho dw, clint’s just so sad in the present and it hurts my soul)

smut: yeah, the part in the present is basically just one big smut scene but it’s soOoOoO emotional and i always love me some emotional smut

Christmas in Colour by mariana_oconnor 

words: ~12k 

important tags: soulmates see in colour, christmas fluff 

notes: SOULMATES SEE IN COLOUR !!!!! *swoons so hard she falls to the floor* top 3 best soulmates tropes i dont make the rules i love it so much. ESPECIALLY when it’s with a character like clint who usually has a colour he loves SO SO much. a christmas must read :) 

smut: NO SMUT

Chaos By Another Name by shatteredhourglass 

words: ~13k 

important tags: dimension travel, time travel, friends to lovers 

notes: DIMENSION-HOPPING TIME-TRAVEL ADVENTURE GUYS!!! why wouldn’t you wanna read it??? 

smut: yes

I Still Choose You (The Public Domain Remix) by mariana_oconnor 

words: ~14k 

important tags: soulmates at first kiss, fake/pretend relationship 

notes: have a fic with two of the best tropes ever, you’re so very welcome. plus plus PLUS: demisexual bucky. as a demisexual/asexual/still trying to figure it out lesbian, i’m always ALWAYS here for any kind of ace spectrum winterhawk, so yeah. 

smut: NO SMUT

the road rising up to meet me by veryrach

words: ~24k 

important tags: pining, sexual reawakening, chaotic slutty clint barton 

notes: MORE DEMISEXUAL BUCKY!!! AND HOT CLINT!!! no other words needed. read it. 

smut: i’m so sorry but i can’t remember if it gets SMUTTY smutty. but there’s definitely a lot of sexual themes i mean look at the tags lmao

Showdown by shatteredhourglass 

words: ~14k 

important tags: fake/pretend relationship; fluff 

notes: breaking my silence: fake dating might me my fav trope of all time. in this one they’re pretending to date for the sole purpose of annoying steve and tony and i think that’s the best thing ever. 

smut: NO SMUT

Light the Spark by dr_girlfriend

words: ~26k 

important tags: fake/pretend relationship, mutual pining, enemies to friends to lovers

notes: aaaand the next fake dating fic >:) the enemies arc is like 0.2 seconds, blink and you miss it, but whoooo cares, we’re here for the fake dating & pining guys!!!

smut: yes, but you can skip it!

-10k words 

Wine and Pine by feathers_and_cigarettes 

words: 6k

Important tags: Touch-Starved, Fake Marriage, pining!clint 

Notes: this is one of those fics i always come back to without realising and it always hits that spot. like i said, fake dating is my favorite trope, and MISSION fake dating???? i'm in heaven

smut: there’s quite a bit of smut, but it’s at the end and even if you stop reading after they kiss it’s really worth it. 

Over Easy by Lissadiane

words: ~9k

important tags: hook up gone awry, awkwardly crashing the birth of a baby 

notes: need y’all to know that this has one of my all time fav smut scenes, i kinda know it by heart. don’t quote me on that, this is our secret. this one’s just so so SO much fun, i’m having the time of my life every time i read it (which is at least like once a month) 

smut: yes, and it’s kinda the best part, but everything else is so fun as well that i really wouldn’t wanna miss out on it

The Love You Deserve by flawedamythyst 

words: ~8k 

important tags: unhappy family holidays, homophobia, family issues, jewish bucky barnes 

notes: another must-read christmas fic for me; clint goes home for christmas to an uncle of his or something but they all turn out to be homophobic assholes or something and then bucky shows up to save the day <3

smut: NO SMUT 

what you really, really want by Noxnthea 

words: ~8k 

important tags: pining, misunderstandings 

notes: *blurts out* THEYVE BEEN IN LOVE FOR AGES AND THEN WANDA HEXES THEM SO THEY THINK THEVE BEEN DATING FOR YEARS!!! this is SUCH an underrated fic, it doesn’t even have 200 kudos like wtf??? SHOW IT SOME LOVE!!!

smut: NO SMUT

The 300 Club by Noxnthea 

words: ~10k 

important tags: no powers au, scientist clint & bucky 

notes: there aren’t enough scientist winterhawk AUs so HUGE THANKS noxnthea for feeding us. i will literally haunt you if you don’t read this one, ITS SO UNDERRATED!!! AND SO FUN!!

smut: NO SMUT

For Everything There is A Season by dr_girlfriend

words: ~9.7k 

important tags: crack fic, secret service agent!bucky, small business owner!clint barton 

notes: crack fics are always gold and this one especially, it’s such a ridiculous idea, how could you not love it? always a very fun read! 

smut: NO SMUT

Background Noise by Reremouse 

words: ~8k 

important tags: modern au, deaf clint barton 

notes: MILLENIAL BUCKY!!! clint is bucky’s upstairs neighbour and extremely loud bc he’s well… deaf. lol. and bucky’s a night shift worker which really isn’t a good combo on first thought. but on second thought, these are clint and bucky, so OBVIOUSLY they’re gonna make a great combo out of it. it’s fuckign amazing. plus bucky & sam friendship!! good shit guys, good shit.

smut: NO SMUT

you didn’t hear that by jedusaur 

words: ~2.6k 

important tags: roomates, eavesdropping 

notes: super self-indulgent rec, i always read this one when i need some cheering up lmao it’s just so fun and they’re kinda nasty and UGH. love. it explores the range of bucky’s super hearing. do with that what you want. 

smut: yes. it explores the range of bucky’s super hearing in every way ;)

one more time by squadrickchestopher 

words: ~4k 

important tags: touch starved, hurt clint barton 

notes: i don’t even know why i love this one so much, but it holds SUCH a special place in my heart. it might be my undying love for touch starved!clint who finally gets his well-needed hugs by bucky. there’s also an amazing podfic by flowerparrish for it, make sure to give kudso to them both!!! 

smut: NO SMUT

the salt on your lips by veryrach 

words: ~9k 

important tags: kissing, an absolutely ridiculous lack of communication 

notes: exactly what the tags say. it’s a 5+1 as well, WHAT ELSE DO YOU NEED IN LIFE???? 10/10. i remember waiting for months for the last few chapters and it was SO worth it!!

smut: NO SMUT

Love Potion No. 10 by Kangofu_CB 

words: ~8k 

important tags: love potion/spell, not actually unrequited love

notes: i won’t say anything about the story bc i don’t wanna spoiler it, but i’ll say that i re-read the second half of it at least once a month, it’s just THAT sweet. 

smut: NO SMUT

There’s No ‘I’ In Denial by flawedamythyst 

words: ~5k 

important tags: truth spells 

notes: clint gets hit by a magic truth gun and can’t lie anymore. such a fun & cute read every single time.

smut: NO SMUT

The Name of the Game by squadrickchestopher 

words: ~6k 

important tags: competition, trash talking, feelings realization 

notes: this one’s just so so fun, it has allllllll the winterhawk banter anyone could ask for. and i always love me some competitive idiots in love

smut: NO SMUT 

Full Barton by aw_writing_no 

words: ~6k 

important tags: no powers au, cop!bucky, human disaster clint 

notes: what the tags say. clint embarrassing himself in front of bucky who enjoys it a bit too much gotta be one of my fav tropes. 

smut: NO SMUT

one more little mistake by shatteredhourglass 

words: ~3k 

important tags: clint barton wears glasses, bucky barnes is horny for clint barton 

notes: these tags are basically the entire fic lmaooo. it’s great, i love nothing more than HOT HOT HOT clint barton and bucky realising how hot he is 

smut: almost lmao (they get interrupted while making out) 

my hands no longer an afterthought by shatteredhourglass 

words: ~3k 

important tags: getting back together 

notes: i have a sweet sweet SWEET spot for winterhawk getting back togethers if handled well, and this one handles it soo well. 

smut: NO SMUT

Five Lies People Believe About Clint and Bucky by EVVS 

words: ~1.5k 

important tags: established relationship 

notes: this is one of those fics i always go back to if i have a few minutes and need some (bitter)sweet fluff. it’s exactly what the title says, some lies are fun, some are painful, and all of them just hit that spot 

smut: NO SMUT

My Sausage Brings Alll the Boys To The Yard by flawedamythyst 

words: ~1.7k 

important tags: bad flirting 

notes: this one’s so stupid it probably shouldn’t be on here but i remember how i was reading this in class for the first time when i was still in school and i was almost pissing myself bc it made me laugh so hard. very fun, go read it >:(

smut: NO SMUT

bonus for the freaks:

Filthy Porn Fridays by squadrickchestopher 

there’s 18 works so far, it’s smut smut smut aaaand - you guessed it - smut. if you wanna see the boys fuck nastily, this is your place to be. 

(delicate tension is the best fic of the series, it’s actually a roadtrip AU and not just smut, highly highly recommend) 

alrightyyy, i think that's it for now :) this took me quite some time so i'd appreciate some reblogs or whatever!! we need to spread some winterhawk love guys!!

all my love goes out to every author i mentioned here, and every other author who's ever written winterhawk. you guys are my heroes, idk what i'd do without you. literally ripping my heart into a thousand pieces and giving every single one of you a tiny part 💜

[gyll-yee-haw]

im actually in love with all your donnie darko stuff, after being starved from donnie darko content you fed us

i was wondering if you could do a smut for him where reader squirts for the first time then he becomes obsessed with it and makes her do it over and over again?? tysm ^-^

Thank you so much, babyyy <333

I hadn't written too much about Donnie before, but I'm in love right now 🥺

Well, this is filthy, absolutely filthy (thanks you, I love it), overstimulation

Warnings: squirting, creampie, dirty talk, masturbation (m and f)

Like 1k words

---

"Come on, baby, I know we can find the spot... I don't mind if I have to fuck you in 13 different positions, do you?" He kisses your neck as you giggle.

"Are you sure, Don?" You sigh. "It was so messy..."

"Fuck, baby, it was..." he grabs your waist, keeping you still under him as he starts rubbing your clit slowly. "Can't get out of my head how fucking wet you got, it was amazing, wasn't it?"

You nodded, biting your lip at the memory of last night's activities, when Donnie made you squirt for the first time. Not even you were aware you could do that... all you remember was that he had you on all fours, gripping the sheets, balls deep inside of you... and something felt different. It wasn't like you were going to cum, it felt like you really needed to pee, out of nowhere. You were too embarrassed to ask him to stop, so you decided to try your best to just hold it. But he was fucking you so good, so hard... you just couldn't control your body very well.

And then it happened. You knew it wasn't pee, it was something you had never experienced before... but it was followed by a whole new sensation of relief, and by Donnie moaning like a wild animal at how hot that was.

And when the two of you woke up the next morning, he was rock hard just remembering it. He needed you to do that again.

"Oh, Donnie... feels so good..." you bucked your hips as he rubbed your swollen clit faster.

"I know, sweetheart." He slowed down until he stopped, making you moan in frustration, trying to grind on his hand. "Shh... hey... it's okay, I'll give you what you need. But you can't come yet, okay? Need you desperate."

"But... but what if I can't do it again? You won't be disappointed, will you?" You felt anxious.

"No! Of course not!" He looked at you with a mix of worry and absolute passion. "I just want to try it, okay? Nothing in this world could make me love this pretty pussy any less, my angel."

You smiled, spreading your legs wider, as a sign you didn't want to waste any more time. He returned your smile, staring to stroke his dick dangerously close to your entrance.

He entered you slowly, hissing at the way you squeezed him. He began thrusting gently, until you soaked and welcomed his entire length.

"Deeper, Donnie..."

"Fuck, say that again, my love." He smirked at your dirty talk.

"You have to get deeper, you were so deep yesterday..." you moaned more than you felt like you had to, just to give him a show.

He helped you rest your legs on his shoulders as he started going faster.

"Is this deep enough for you?" He chuckled as he watched your eyes roll back at how good he was hitting that exact spot at this new position. "You sure as hell feel tighter... fuck!"

"Donnie!" Your legs started shaking. "Think... think I'm gonna do it..."

"Fuck, baby, please..." one of his hands went to your belly, applying pressure right where you felt his cock already pressuring enough. "Push it out for me, you can do it, pretty girl..."

You felt it rush out of you harder than the last time. On the position you were this time, you could see it soak his belly. It was so hot, it made you dig your nails on his back, enough to make him bleed.

"Fucking hell, oh jesus..." Donnie cried out, fucking you harder than ever. "You're such a good girl..."

"Donnie, I need to cum, please, give it to me..." you begged.

"Yeah? Hurry up, baby... you soaked my cock too fucking good for me to be able to hold it..." he said before crashing him lips into yours on a passionate kiss, hand sliding between your legs to rub your clit again.

Luckily you weren't able to hold it either, pussy contracting around his cock as you came hard. He filled you up seconds after, he couldn't even think about cuming anywhere else when he was that deep inside you.

And when he pulled out, he could have cried at that scene. The way you were soaked from squirting, plus his cum dripping out of you...

"Keep your legs spread for me, baby, don't move..." he asked, and you obeyed.

You looked at him in shock, as you saw he was stroking himself... cock not even fully hard, because that would be humanly impossible.

"Too hot, baby, can't waste this sight..." he whined pathetically, absolutely overstimulated, but physically unable to stop.

"Careful not to hurt yourself, Donnie." You mocked him. "I'm not going anywhere... there's no rush..."

"I know, but..." his cock throbbed as his hand moved up and down, making an obscene wet sound. "Too hot, feel like... need to cum more..."

"Right... get those balls fucking empty for me, then..." you gathered his cum, leaking out of you, rubbing it over you clit, starting to touch yourself for him.

Yes, it did hurt a little, but you understood him. You craved more.

The two of you moaned in sync, smell of sex in the air and sheets absolutely ruined under you. None of that mattered at the time.

Donnie came first. Shooting his load directly into your clit while you rubbed it. That scene and the extra lubrication it gave you had you throwing your head back and screaming his name as you came hard.

Took a while for the two of you to be able to talk again.

"We need a shower." He chuckled, watching your filthy state.

"That's easy." You shrugged. "But you're gonna need a new mattress if you keep making me do that..."

"Sounds worth it to me."

[bkgml]

Hi there! I don't know if you are doing requests but if it's okay can I ask for the mha tiro reacting to their s/o getting cut or asking for a bandaid during shaving. Btw I love your writing so much and I'm really sorry if you are not doing requests, I hope you have an amazing day and don't forget to drink, eat, and rest, thank you!!!

“ow! oh shit! fuck.” you whisper yell.

katsuki’s ears perk up.

“you okay?” he calls from outside the bathroom door.

shutting the water off, you step outside the shower to inspect your wound.

“jesus christ.” you whisper, grabbing your towel for warmth as you watch the red cover your leg.

“hey! answer me.” katsuki grumbles from outside, wondering if he needs to break the door down.

you giggle softly and it eases his nerves. slightly.

“fine kats. can you grab me a bandaid though?”

“BANDAID? i’m coming in!” he yells, opening the bathroom door to see you, sitting on the toilet and getting his bath mat all messed up.

“what the fuck?! how’d you do that??” he questions, absolutely baffled.

“….shaving.” you say as if it’s obvious.

he frowns, walking away to grab the first aid kit.

“how do you manage to fight villains without a scratch on you but massacre your leg with a puny ass razor??” he frowns while cleaning you up.

you sigh, dragging your fingers through his hair.

he looks up at you and you giggle.

“i don’t know kats, maybe razors are my kryptonite.”

[gubbles-owo]

For the tail rating: Asbestos (arknights), Ho'oleyak (arknights) and W (arknights)

HEAVY HITTERS RIGHT AWAY, HUH??

okay, so like. i want to be fair, right? i'm less interested in ranking tails *against* each other so much as I am in appreciating the variety of them. but like. if i had to choose the best tail in arknights. IF WE'RE ALL BEING HONEST HERE,,, yeahhh Asbestie would win this one absolutely no fucking contest. It's long. It's got volume. It's dexterous. It's WET. if you try getting your grubby little paws on the thing she will bear no hesitation in kicking your fucking teeth in for even thinking about it, so on top of all these amazing qualities it is also FORBIDDEN. lord knows there is only one person on terra who knows how it tastes, and I bet she's addicted to it. Asbestos tail rating: i need to choke on it Next up is- wait oh my fucking god jesus fuck. ign christ holy shit.

sorry to be such a lesbian but. god. fuck. focus here gubby. okay like i said i'm not really ranking tails against one another here, but ho'ol would certainly give asbestos a run for her money. it definitely would win out in the length department, because christ look at this thing

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it's long as fuck. it's swift and silent, imbued with terrible strength. in her spoken voicelines she DIRECTLY references the doctor (u) choking on her tail. not from her tail or otherwise implying some kind of choke-hold, nonono. ON. this thing is going down your fucking throat and you are going to like it. ...i wonder what it tastes like. admittedly i did not finish lone trail before the event closed, but even from what i saw, the written descriptions of ho'ol's tail. some lucky tail enthusiast had a field day describing how her tail moves about in detail so intricate i can only describe it as fetishistic. and that is a COMPLIMENT goddammit. if this tail does nothing for you then i am sorry bb but there's no saving you. Ho'olheyak tail rating: i need to choke on it. and i suppose with that it's time to bring things back down to earth, because, okay if i'm being honest w's tail is. fine? but like. man given the previous two this just doesn't hit the same way...

The barbed shape is kinda neat, but in general this thing is pretttttty thin. If you know me at all then you know where i stand on the whole thin vs. phat tail debate, so I can't say W's tail impresses me all that much. Very thin, but very light and I imagine pretty quick. I wonder how sharp the end of that thing really is, but I'd guess that's it's likely safe to touch. I'm still in chapter 6 and admittedly don't know much about W as a character yet, but I imagine she'd either cause petty mischief with it in some way or alternatively get all embarrassed pissed if it's accidentally touched. I wonder what it tastes like. W tail rating: i am probably going to step on it (by accident)

[lynn-tged-posting]

tged webtoon ep 175 spoilers and thoughts but it's nothing really serious i just really enjoyed this week LMFAO and more below the cut

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.

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i need it to be known that this panel was the thumbnail for the ep and i was . so confused. bc wow that expression is not one u usually see on javier but also considering what happened in the angel arc,,, maybe,,, he's learning to be more like lloyd for real after all,,, LMFAOOO

and then it turned out it was just the spirit king's perception of him AHAHAHAHA the other two panels showing that were good too,,, wow,,, whats wrong with him,,, with THEM,,, /j genuinely the gags where javier looks lowkey like a fucking thug are so silly funny WAHAHAHA

they say the more u spend time w ur loved ones the more u become like them,,, or something like that. idk thats just what i heard HAHA

and jesus christ yeah okay when you look at lloyd's construction from this lens. yeah. the spirit king does have a very very good point about protecting nature from forces like this,,, lloyd buddy you've been fucking with nature a lil too much cool it a lil bit ur making spirits mad sob sob sob

i do hope that lloyd and the spirit king are able to come to a compromise? cause im sure lloyd wouldn't just,,, fuck up nature just Cause right,,, right,,,,,,? he's a good enough guy,,,,,,,,,,,, right,,,,,,,,,,,

speaking of the spirit king. oh my god that's just fucking ice king . cmon now HAHAHAHA

the resemblance,,, just enough to avoid copyright probably. thats so silly HAHAHAHA

it's ok mr spirit king. surely lloyd will. compromise. after u stop uuhh attacking ofc but like. yeah,,,,,, surely,,,,, <- so much copium oh my god please lloyd don't fuck this up LAKFJDLSDJKF

ALSOOO more world building reinforcement hehe, based on what we know about when the demon king prequel takes place, this dragon should be tyrannus!

i think the way u can tell too besides just Knowing that is the missing gem on the forehead; verkis has a gem directly on his forehead thats pretty bright (in both tged and dkc), whereas tyrannus has no gem at all! so this dragon in this ep is absolutely tyrannus,,, i wonder what else he was up to at this time,,, hm hm!!!

oh also,,, the estate citizens reactions to the snow piling on was actually really really sweet,,, they're so cute look at them,,, work hard play hard as they say!!!

i think it's really telling that they're able to play so freely like this even without lloyd's explicit say-so bc ofc, lloyd wouldn't force anybody to work in bad conditions,,, they know when to rest, they know safety like the back of their hands, and they know lloyd wouldn't make them work in a mf blizzard,,, :') true fronterans,,,

also the humans being absolutely drenched in mana and power is also incredibly funny . i am incredibly curious to know what kind of powerhouses came out of frontera estate in the years between tged and cpsm. this is so silly i love it

ALSO I KNEW LLOYDS SINGING WOULD BE A FORCE OF FUCKING NATURE IT TAKES DOWN SPIRITS TOO THATS SO FUCKING INSANE. alicia's reaction too fucking SENT ME bc i had forgotten that she technically had never heard his singing before LMFAOOO (in the bone dragon arc she had covered her ears w mana and was spared,,, my god,,, an atomic bomb of a weapon) the fucking timing of the spirit just. falling LMFAOOO

some insane fucking expressions btw. lloyd u never cease to amaze w how fucking monstrous u look sometimes. artist youve outdone urself again . im VERY happy we got something other than the open mouth ones (theyre monstrously good but like the spit freaks me out HAHA) so the grinning is. CHEFS KISS. lloyd,,, u really dont ever hold back,,,

ALSO ALICIA FUCKING SMACKING HIM UPSIDE THE HEAD AND THEN THREATENING TO NEVER SEE LLOYD AGAIN IF HE SANG. AND LLOYD'S EXPRESSION AS A RESULT. CHRIST LKADJFLKJSDFHAHAHAHAHHAHAA

THESE PANELS WERE SO FUCKING GOOD. LLOYD LOOKS SO DAMN DISTRAUGHT HE LOOKS SO UPSET HELP MEEEE . saddest fucking puppy ive ever seen jesus christ. HE LOOKS SO SAD,,, maybe he thought the queen wouldn't be too bothered by the singing since EVERYONE ELSE WAS but no,,, not even she can handle it,,, hey lloyd, at least javier is willing to appreciate the effort u put in by singing (not that he'd ever want to listen but y'know,,, its the thought that counts,,,)

like bro literally looks like this

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

AND THEN the moment, the very MOMENT that the spirit king determines that he wants to kill lloyd,,, oohhh it's over for him,,,

"HERE COMES JAVIER WITH THE STEEL CHAIR!!!!!!!!!!"

GENUINELY THIS PANEL IS SO COOL TOO the build up to it in the episode was also really really good,,,, from a tiny twinkle to a zoomed in motion blur of javier getting ready to SWING at the mf i REALLY LIKE THAT

i went insane over this on twitter i was so so happy to see this,,, literally the very moment he detects any threat to lloyd, javier just KNOWS. he drops EVERYTHING and IMMEDIATELY RUSHES TO HIS AID. that's so,,,,, THAT'S SO!??!?!?,,,,, ACCUSATORY POINT,,,, I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE.

fellas is it gay to know exactly when your friend is in trouble and immediately fight for him no matter what. /j /lh

i really like that lloyd knew immediately too. he knows his knight. he's well aware of what javier would do,,, he'd probably do the same for him,,, god they know each other so well. im so. they make me SICK. affectionately

and then the final nail in the coffin (in a very positive way),,, alicia wondering why she even fell for lloyd,,, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

she's questioning everything in this very moment and yet i'm willing to bet she'll just accept that this is how he is,,, alicia and javier shaking hands fr

god i couldn't stop giggling this entire ep. there were so many silly things and shenanigans in this ep while also getting into the start of smth to consider when they're building the railroad (i.e. the issue of construction fucking up the natural mountain/nature around them). i just had a lot of fun overall and i really really like that,,, im very happy :3 YAYYYY YAYYYYY

excited to see what happens next week,,, i really hope they come to a good compromise w the spirit king!!!

[aachria]

right so, firstly, sssbmty is absolutely amazing and I binged the whole of it in around five days. I love Ed and their character development as well as the relationships they have with the crew it’s all ugh, so masterful.

secondly, while the entire thing is giving me immense brain rot and i’m foaming at the mouth about the tarot card foreshadowing, I just cannot stop thinking about that mysterious father/weird uncle figure that was apparently on Gol D. Roger’s crew who hasn’t been mentioned since the wedding (sorta).

i’m minorly obsessed with this random, unnamed person who looked at a tiny cabin boy Shanks and went, “this dude needs to know the Macarena yesterday.” and probably also taught Shanks (and i’m guessing most, if not all of Roger’s crew) “Piano Man” and more than likely introduced a slew of other Earth pop culture things that almost certainly have no business being in the One Piece Universe.

also, the fact this guy knew that Ed was also going to be there??? the implications of that is crazy alone. how do you know these things sir? is this guy tied in with the voices Ed hears and dreams Ed experiences whenever they’re incapacitated? did weird unknown uncle have strange dreams as well?

but i also can’t help but wonder, was this guy also isakai’ed with the same suddenness that Ed was? just randomly dying one tuesday morning and waking up in a strange place with zero explanation? Did he get swept up by Roger one day like Luffy swept up Ed, and this mystery guy decided “fuck it, we ball” and went along wholeheartedly with Rayleigh and Roger and never looked back? was he spending the whole time quietly mourning roger cause he knew just how this story would end? did he not change anything because he knew Ed was coming and left everything up to them?

this shit is bouncing around my head like a million pinballs set loose, it’s chaos in here. also, these questions are 80% rhetorical and i just need to inform you that is nameless character of yours has moved into my head and refuses to leave.

and with that little rant out of the way, i wish you good day, good luck, and i can’t wait to devour the next chapter. toodles.

First; oh em gee thank you sm… you got me gigglin n twirlin my hair n shit…

Second; me and you, we’re living on the same wavelength. Pseudo dad/uncle lives in my head rent free and the way I would absolutely LOVE to answer all of these questions—

But I must hold my tongue. Here’s a special little something to tide you over though; I’m writing the last chapter of Sabaody rn and bro this arc… I lied about it being shorter than the party good Jesus it’s like 8ish chapters and the man the myth the legend is at the very least mentioned in like FOUR OF THEM. HAAAAAALF OF THEM. So like. Yaknow. GET FUCKING EXCITED.

[kandisheek]

FIC REC WEEK 35 - HUMOR

just another day in her superhero life by Hyoushin

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: G Words: 556 Tags: Kamala Writes Fanfic, Crackfic, Making Out

Summary: She realized why Cap and Iron Man engaged in a protracted exchange of saliva felt like deja-vu.

Reasons why I love it: Oh Kamala, my beloved. The premise of this is comedy gold, and I love how traumatized Clint is by watching mom and dad kiss. This fic is amazing, and you should definitely read it!

Tony Stark, Doo Doo Doo-Doo Doo by rebelmeg, sleepoverwork

Pairing: Pepper/Tony Rating: G Words: 3,935 Tags: Family Dynamics, Parent Tony and Pepper, Adopted Teenagers

Summary: Tony has Dad Brain, Morgan is disinterested in her nap, FRIDAY is amused, and a whole pack of teenagers are watching it unfold from behind the couch.

Reasons why I love it: The puns are strong with this one! Tony's merry band of teenage geniuses is hilarious as always – trolls, the lot of them. And I love how Tony tries to negotiate with Morgan, it's very cute. Definitely check this one out, it's wonderful!

the hedgehog (and one million blue whales) by soliloquent

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: T Words: 8,263 Tags: Nicknames, Domestic Fluff, They're In Love Your Honor

Summary: “Hm. But, how hard?” Tony challenges. Steve ponders for a second. “As hard as one million blue whales sitting on you.” “One million?” Tony looks genuinely in awe. “I reckon that would crush one tiny hedgehog, don’t you think?” “Nah. You’re all spiky. Small, but feisty. The whales wouldn’t stand a chance.” Or: Steve and Tony’s relationship unfolding through a series of everyday moments in the span of two years, pieced together to paint a canvas of their intertwined lives — a domestic portrait of quirky whale-themed endearments, meaningful acts of service, soothing showers, cherished gifts, steamy make-outs, and one adorable hedgehog mystery.

Reasons why I love it: Oh my god, this fic is the cutest thing ever. And I'm (not) ashamed to say that Tony's whale-ish dad jokes made me laugh more than once. My heart melted every time Steve called Tony 'hedgehog', Jesus Christ, I will never get over that, it's so fucking cute. This fic is wonderful, and you absolutely HAVE to read it, if you haven't already!

boxing with deep fried mars bars by SleepWontVisitMeAnymore

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: G Words: 1,251 Tags: Domestic Fluff, Oblivious Avengers, Secret Relationship

Summary: On one fateful tuesday, Clint thinks something weird is going on...and what he finds is SO not what he was expecting.

Reasons why I love it: I've never had a deep fried mars bar, but I am intrigued now. I love Tony and Steve being idiots in love while keeping the rest of the team guessing, it's super fun. I highly recommend you go and check this one out for yourself!

Boredom Levels Zero Percent by bumblewyn

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: G Words: 1,093 Tags: Dates, A Baboon, Crackfic

Summary: Tony and Steve go on a date with hilariously destructive consequences. At least they are never bored.

Reasons why I love it: This fic very much reminds me of that one Supernatural episode – if you know, you know. It's really fun, and I have to commend Bruce for not losing his cool in the face of Tony being Tony. Definitely check this one out, it's great!

[pink-lightsabre]

c3 105 thoughts dump

when... are we getting new opening titles... please i wanna see more of dorian in the beginning credits...

IMOGEN GIRL WHY ARE YOU NOT INSIGHT CHECKING THIS CONVERSATION. WHY ARE YOU TAKING THIS AT FACE VALUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oooooooooooooh she's gonna broadcast downfall. "it'll harm everyone." while that is true. i dont think yall can hoard that information. personally.

we really didn't do any check about that. wow. that feels ill advised!!!!!!!!

a mass poisoning???????? perhaps a little like molaesmyr?????

it could be a trap! that's true! which is why IMOGEN NEEDED TO DO A CHECK ABOUT IT!!!!!!

do not. try to bargain with fearne's bio dad. please.

oooooooooh what IS ira doing. that's a great question.

"i thought we would have A plan and now it seems like we have A LOT of plans." dorian that's so relatable

man i wish the silken squall was at this meeting. i understand that theyre not bc they're very isolationist but. i want to see dorian interacting with his parents SO bad

the judicators are still so fucking creepy. and the fact that aeor had their own arcane version FUCKS me up.

"it's pretty low... 24." LMAO

i hope someone gave vex advanced warning that dragons were gonna be there. otherwise her favored enemy ranger sense gotta be going BANANAS.

braius flirting with dorian. absolutely hilarious. 12/10 sam i love it.

"i've got my faith in you. and my finger." // "it's a pretty big finger." // "dont underestimate me." ROBBIE

RARY'S TELEPATHIC BOND!!!!!! THE GROUPCHAT!!!!!!

pie dice!!!!!!!! i love that.

oooooooooooooooooooh who is there. WHO IS THERE!!!!!!

fearne being poly is so special to me. i love it.

robbie cosplaying as dorian with the deep necklines of his shirts. is chefs kiss.

braius sticking his nose EVERYWHERE. way to go sam.

HELLO MATTHEW WHAT THE FUCK

DORIAN'S DAD IS THERE?????????????????????????

APPARENTLY I WAS WRONG AND THEY ARE THAT ISOLATIONIST. OH MY MCFUCKING GOD.

i need to run laps around my house. i cant handle this.

oh no cyrus looked like their mom. D;

"i'll shake it off."

DRAGONS!!!!!!!

FIRE ASHARI!!!!!!!!!! robbie gets to know the feeling of a character he voiced being there! i love this for him.

related to that. i cannot w a i t for the robbie daymond c4 permanent cast member announcement.

zone of truth cast by a fucking dragon!!!!!!!! my god that's so cool. but jesus christ what is the DC on that. 20 apparently!

robbie calling himself the rizzler. hate that. LMAO.

it's not bolo. and that is a TRAGEDY. LONG LIVE BOLO.

VOX MACHINA TO THE MALLEUS KEY. LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

people being upset that vm gets to take down the malleus key and m9 gets to take down the weave mind while bh takes down ludinus. understandable i suppose but COULD NOT be me. i love how interconnected c3 is to everything and i love the other heroes getting to take other shit down.

"time is short." // "and so am i."

"ash. just for a few minutes. lock it up." THAT'S RIGHT DORIAN.

ashton i swear to god... do not blow this...

PHEW thank god braius can lie. my god. SPECTACULAR work braius. way to fucking go.

PLUS FOURTEEN!!!!

saint graham... sam what the hell

travis peer pressuring his wife into using her abilities. i fucken love it.

LOVE the contingent from the matron's temple supporting laudna. absolutely wonderful.

i want. the first thing. that dorian's father says to him. to be about dorian wearing gold.

ashton going to talk and EVERYONE going "no no nonononono!!!!!" hugely relatable

okay okay that wasn't bad actually!!!! way to go ash!

magical girl fearne in her titan transformation. amazing.

a bard with performance anxiety! truly i love that so much. robbie ur mind. absolutely genius.

orym can you step up and talk about all dorian has to offer

ROBBIE YOUR MIND. ABSOLUTELY GENIUS.

F I N D G R E A T E R S T E E D

"orym totally blue screens" oh so relatable. a HUGE mood. i've also been that horny.

chetney reminding everyone that he's old... old as balls...

all the speeches were so good. i am. of course. absolutely biased towards dorian's.

OH THESE TITLES F U C K

does chetney have A KID

liam GLARING at matt while he's playing dorian's dad. EXTREMELY relatable.

"word of cyrus's passing has reached us." O U G H E "we wanted to make sure you were properly aware." excuse me whilst i sob on the floor.

oh no. oh no this is not how i thought this was gonna go. oh no i'm gonna cry. dorian "locks up with physical affection" storm. my favorite for a reason.

OH NO SAM WEARING THE FRIDA HOODIE. I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE. frida still doesn't know what happened to fcg....

NOT DORIAN CRYING IN HIS FATHER'S ARMS

aaaaaaaaaaand there's the other shoe dropping! "those willing and capable" because you think dorian ISN'T?

y e a h this is more how i thought this was gonna go. oughe my heart.

there's dorian's anger! oh it is so precious to me.

i'm gonna throw up dude. oh my god. matt and robbie i love you. IS THE ZONE OF TRUTH UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what a deeply revealing question!

A CEREMONIAL BLADE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

"a smile and a look in his eyes you've been chasing your entire life. pride." O U G H E

"you made my favorite toys growing up." HAHA I KNEW IT.

THE C-POPPERS!!!!!!! chetney has a fan club this is so great.

"can i get a painty." m a t t h e w

chet calling imogen his assistant. what a throw back to dorian and imogen at the masque in jrusar.

braius you silver tongued motherfucker.... god that's so good

PIKE!!!!!!!!

THIS IS TRUTHBEARER. LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

that's so funny. oh my god.

HOW MUCH HE LOVES DORIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! liam obrien i am kissing you on the mouth

LIAM OBRIEN I AM KISSING YOU ON THE MOUTH

dorian and orym having so many conversations AROUND how much they love each other. never actually saying it. or talking to each other about it directly. makes me want to chew concrete.

oh ashton....................... i love u. i really do.

"i think what she said was trustworthy" AGAIN YOU WOULD HAVE A BETTER IDEA IF YOU DID A CHECK ABOUT IT

imogen and keyleth... kiki saying imogen reminds her of a younger her... saying she's gonna need to convince the rest of vm to do this malleus key mission... oh i am sick

matthew.......... why the random d20 roll

oh if we're going back to nana morri does that mean SOMEONE will FINALLY ask orym about his not new anymore magic and how/why/where it came from. or if there's a conversation between orym and nana morri about the state of his deal since fcg died.

chetney you dumbass. that was NEVER gonna happen. HER CALLING HIM A YOUNGIN. amazing.

the BQILF lmao

y'all simply HAVE to be more careful with ashton and the worshippers of the luxon. this is how people get kidnapped and experimented on in underground layers.

oh the tragedy of ashton only getting to be okay and not in pain when he's in the titan form. ugh that makes me so sad.

god i love callowmoore so much!!!

ASHTON BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE CAAAAAAAAAAAAAREEEEEEEEEEFUL

chetney is so excited about having a fan. i love this for travis so much LMAO.

NOT WHISPERS ABOUT WAYLOND

"he made me a beautiful toy boat! i gave it to a street urchin." LMAO

THANK YOU MARISHA FOR CALLING OUT DEALS MADE WITH NANA MORRI

this is truly so funny. i relate to this man so much.

"this is the room you're gonna die in." // "i'm okay with that."

[harrywavycurly]

Sarah babes, please can we hear how the conversation went when Eddie and Cali Girl face time? He’s down so bad before he’s even seen her and it’ll only be worse after he has 😍🤩

Hiii lovey!! Of course y’all can get a little glimpse of how the FaceTime call went!! I hope you enjoy!💖

-find all things Wrong Number, Right Time here✨

*Even on FaceTime Eddie doesn’t know how to say hello*

“Can you…see me?” “Yes Edward I can see you…damn you have great hair.” “Uh thanks you uhm…yeah you have hair too.” “You’re so observant…is that one of your vampire traits?” “Fuck I mean you have nice hair too…I’m not Edward Cullen you asshole.” “Prove it…go outside and show me you don’t glitter in the sun.” “I’m absolutely not doing that…so uh how’s your day going?” “Not too bad since it’s only noon..what about you? Oh is that a guitar in the corner of that dungeon you call a bedroom?” “It is yeah…wanna hear a song?” “Depends on what song you’re willing to play…” “I know a few Metallica songs uhm I know you like them.” “I do enjoy their music a good bit…is that a Dio vest on the back of that chair?” “Uh yeah…Jesus you’re nosey.” “It’s literally right behind you…also you’re the nosey one.” “I’m not nosey I’m just…inquisitive.” “What nerd taught you that word? I can tell by the look on you face when you said it that even you were shocked you said it correctly.” “Well I actually hang out with a few nerds… it the one you’re wondering about would be named Dustin…everyone calls him Henderson.” “Well tell Henderson he’s teaching you well…now play me something while I cook lunch.” “Oh what’s on the menu?” “Mac and Cheese…I know not everyone has a sophisticated enough palette for it but it’s my favorite meal ever…warms the soul.” “Seriously?” “Why are you looking at me like that?….” “I fucking love Mac and Cheese.” “Oh really?…look at us having things in common like actual friends.” “Yeah…yeah we are uh…friends…so you ready to be knocked off your feet by my amazing guitar skills?” “Yes I’m ready…knock me off my feet vampire boy.” “You’re so annoying…”

[fortunatelychaoticphantom]

Yeah, so I finished Breaking Dawn.

General:

Holly shit. Holly fucking shit. Holly Jesus fucking Christ holly fucking hell god damn shit. THIS BOOK IS AMAZING.

I am serious. I am not being ironic or trying to be cool or contradictory or nothing. This book is absolutely batshit insanely fucking good. THIS IS GOOD FUCKING FANTASY.

Look. I've read and watched plenty of reevaluations of the series in the past couple of years, and I think we all know by now that it is far from perfect and there's a lot to criticize, but that the criticism and cultural uproar at the time was just pure misogyny and hatred to anything that girls like (a day will come when we talk about Justin Bieber and how the entire world decided its number one enemy was a 13 year old boy who wanted to be a pop singer and was beloved by 13 year old girls but it is not this day), and that Meyer is actually a very good world builder. This reread really solidified this for me, but even more so then before. I really do believe she is a good writer. NOT GREAT, but good. Until Breaking Dawn.

I am not joking when I tell you that this is one of the most incredible books I have ever read in my life. It is leaps and bounds better then any other book in the series. I think the other books are fine and enjoyable, they definitely don't hold the same charm over me as they did when I was 16, but they are absolutely entertaining and even truly touching (New Moon specifically). But this... this is just a different league altogether. This book is mature, and brutal, and aggressive, and disgusting, and horrifying, and reached fucked up territories that few writers dare to explore and I absolutely admire Meyer for this.

Part One - Bella:

It's a pretty short section of the book so there's not much to say about. It's sweet and fun but nothing much more.

Horny Bella is the best Bella. Get some girl.

Part two - Jacob:

Anyway, this right here is what brilliance is made of. I need to find a way to articulate it properly. It's the first time I have ever been so acutely aware of the narrator because the entire narration is in first person and so all the sections that are supposedly general descriptions are an active thought of Jacob that in almost every single moment are being experienced not just by me but by his pack(s) and by Edward and are commented on in the story. I don't even know how to explain just what an unbelievably wonderfully complexly imaginatively fucked up this is. Just. Amazing.

LEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

I'm okay I swear. But seriously. Leah's story is amazing as is, but it's the room Meyer gives her to be both filled with sorrow and with just pure spiteful rage. I love that she is not perfect, she is not currently nice, because she can't be nice, but a day will come when she might be better, be in a better place, and that's okay because we understand her. I just love her so much.

Speaking of which, I love the new bond between Rosalie and Bella but I also love that it's not entirely a good things? Like, there is a very clearly stated undertone that Rose cares more about the fetus than she does about Bella, and I just respect that? She isn't just magically sweet and kind, it's twisted and complicated and good storytelling (I forgot to mention in the Eclipse post Rosalie's backstory, but obviously that's also amazing).

Seth is also the most wonderful and pure cinnamon role in history and I will die for him.

6. this:

Leah: Mom dropped him a lot when he was a baby. Jacob: Oh his head, apparently. Leah: He used to gnaw on the crib bars, too. Jacob: Lead paint? Leah: Looks like it.

7. This section is just so fucking brutal. The physical toll of carrying the baby for Bella, Edward's agony, Jacob's suffering, Leah's everything, the coming attack from the wolves, the birth... Immaculate.

Part three - Bella:

If there was one Mary Sue I would stan, it was Bella. You're doing amazing sweetie!! You go and be an awesome newborn. We believe in you!!!

All the vampire descriptions are just so fucking good. The whole distractability, the way the new senses literally overwhelm you. I love it all.

You know what? I really don't mind the imprinting. Meyer goes to great lengths to say that it's in no way romantic. It's not the Greatest Thing, but, I mean, I'm reading a fantasy book... my suspension is very much suspending...

Jacob's being an ass again, only caring about what he wants, but it's only for like two chapters so it's fine.

I can't help but love the congregation of vampires, it's just so fun and interesting, and even though we spend so little time with them they are all so distinct.

It's a great showdown. I love it way more then I did the first time. I am still fond of the What-The-Fuck-They-Are-All-Dying???? scene from the movie, but it's intense even without it.

and this:

Garrett: If we live through this, I`ll follow you anywhere, woman. Kate: Now he tells me.

Good job all around. Now I need to go buy Midnight Sun.

[sarahowritesostucky]

Shocking absolutely nobody,

my Staff🧌suddenly decided that this art wasn't ToS safe

(it was before I reblogged it 😏)

So here is the link:

It's by @goyath

And here is the fanart appreciation ficlet I wrote for it:

"Bigger Everywhere"

"Always wanted to do this," Steve pants, hands digging in hard under the bend of Bucky's knee, the meat of his thigh, grip effortless but bruising. "Wanted to - nnn - wanted to pick you up, move you around."

"Steve," Bucky sighs happily.

"Yeah," Steve coos, kissing him, hips working. "You like it?"

Bucky whines and nods a little, the edges of his mouth curling up. "It-it's bigger," he says breathlessly. "So different."

Steve's chest swells with male pride. Not just because he's bigger - bigger everywhere - but because he can hear it in Bucky's voice how amazed he is, can see on his face how happy it's making him. "Yeah," Steve growls, fucking him a little harder. "Yeah, you like it."

"Fuck," Bucky gasps, then laughs through a pleasured groan. "Oh, Jesus. You're so deep like this."

"Uh huh." Steve agrees. "Feels good." He drives into him in another harsh thrust, moving them both, moving Bucky's back against the wall he's got him pressed up against. "Too much?" he asks.

"F-fuck no," Bucky whimpers, trying to stifle his sounds. "Aw, fuck ..."

Steve pants against his open mouth, unable to stop kissing him for long, not when he's buried up inside like this, feeling him for the first time in almost a year, feeling him for the first time with this big new body that can treat him the way he's always deserved. "Buck, Honey," he pants, pressing their foreheads together. He lets his hips slow down to a dirty, deep grind. "Gotta ..." he pants, "gotta slow down. for a second."

Bucky grins, clinging to him a little tighter. "Yeah?"

"Uh huh."

Between their faces, Bucky's breath hits warm as he gives a knowing chuckle. "Still got a hair trigger there, Rogers?" he teases.

Steve grunts and gives him a single, jarring thrust. "Worse," he says, feeling his new and improved circulatory system working on giving a full-body blush. "You got no idea. How horny I am all the time now. How it gets hard all the time."

"Yeah?" Bucky sounds anything but bothered by it. He sounds eager. "Really?"

"Yeah. And, um," Steve rocks them together, Adam's apple bobbing as he swallows. "It's ... a lot. Few times a day, at least. More than once in a row."

Bucky's eyes go wide with wonder for a second, then heavy lidded again as he grins and kisses him passionately. "Prove it to me," he whispers, "Show me how many times."

Steve groans and grinds hard against him. "You're hurt," he protests. "You need to rest, need to - "

"Need you to fuck me with this big new body a' yours," Bucky insists, using his arms around Steve's neck to pull himself up higher on the next thrust. Their foreheads bump together and he nudges Steve's nose bossily with his own. "I'm not that hurt, Captain, so go on and rut up into me the way I know you really want to and blow your first load."

Steve groans at the command, and picks up his pace.

A fill for @anyfandomdarkbingo

card: sarah-writes-stucky / sarahyellow

square N3: body swap

[aris-ink]

I'm so tired of hearing everyone being pressed about that tea blog, even right now I'm getting dms. it's an honest place that provides receipts and warns readers which content creators to stay away from? the person who runs the blog and the anons there talk about tremendously important things, and only encourage action bullying and harassment for real offenses that people deserve to hear about.

like for example:

sexualising santa by writing christmas fics

including corruption kink in fics. (especially if you're someone who slept around. us sluts have to stop hurting innocent women by writing fanfiction 😔)

having fun with astrology (don't you know that's the devil's tool, you zodiac freaks?)

having a kofi. what's wrong with you? so you tell me you spend hours writing and editing and you dare to suggest someone gives you a tip for it? 😭

being upset about not getting enough engagement. clearly you're just untalented and bitter, darling. 💖

other readers enjoying things they don't. (that's just going too far.)

being religious and liking bts/expressing sexuality. um, don't you know if you believe in God you should be on your knees in church looking at Jesus instead of Jungkook's abs? 🤨 in fact, you should be on your way to becoming a nun, so...

writing yandere fics.

this is all so true. hey, anyone here ever read or watched twilight? oh? I hope you didn't, because we all know fiction equals reality so..... I'd be really concerned for the local morgues.

AHSHDHDHDDH anyways, now that I'm done with the sarcasm, as always, please give me a break. I've reached the image limit but I'm sorry. making fun of authors for how they write, encouraging our works to be reported, making fun of authors with kofis or who express their feelings towards little engagement.... telling a Muslim woman that she cannot be Muslim and write her fics (the fucking audacity), then making fun of her for getting stalked. treating people who enjoy/write fics that include sex and aren't "pure" as less and depraved. accusing writers of sending asks to themselves when they get a nice message. twisting their words. this behavior is absolutely disgusting, but besides that it's so lacking in logic and critical thinking skills that it's just sad, and this is who is getting you down, guys? 😭

you're wonderful, keep doing you, and let these amazing little anons and blog runner keep doing them. 🤷‍♀️ YOU know who you are, your followers know who you are, and it doesn't matter what a bunch of bullies have to say. I personally don't care either. what they gonna do? report my fics? I got enough followers to get around, they're enough for me. send me a rude message? oh no, anything but that.

😭💀 sending lots of love to anyone who ever felt alone and targeted. I promise you, literally no one who is worth your time cares. ❤️

[atenceladusiaawfytbwb]

Just saw across the spiderverse. Aight, a year or something, I've seen plenty of stuff/spoilers, read (!!!) plenty of fanfic (The guy (Miguel) goes out there chasing in all fours, has talons and fangs... come on! It was inevitable), it still was an absolute surprise. No matter how much I've gotten through the months (and I've never avoid or tried to avoid any spoiler) it was just-

You don't get it. It's not a good movie, or excellent, there are no words. Jesus fucking christ, I witnessed a miracle. It wasn't perfect or astonishing -again, there are no words- it's more like, everything humankind has ever achieved, it was to get to this. All forms of media, of art and of creation, thorought the centuries, it all was so Across the Spiderverse was made.

I knew it was going to be good, remarkably good and amazing. And still I was struck, smacked across the face, air knocked out of my lungs. Not the best movie ever made, but the best thing in general, in the entire universe.

Also also, I knew, plenty, that punk spider/hobie was super cool. And still, amazing, omg omg omg omg, I had been so busy thirsting over Miguel (still kinda am(again, those chasing scenes with him all feral in four??? lord forgive me for w-(buuut!! i mean in general, like as a whole character,)) but Hobie is just- there are no words, just that I love him and I'd trust him and only him. No no no, not just a great character or my favourite, its- Aaaaaahhhhh he is uhhhhh- I don't know how to express it HE IS AWESOME (again, as an entire character (and every single aspect of him- God he is ahhh 'wonderful' is too short of a word)) and that's gonna have to do it. I'm happy he exists, I'm happy there's such spider, I'm happy the entire move exists, idk, it's worth being alive or something idk idk

Tldr

* smatsv is unbelievable good. Not just the best movie, but the best thing to ever happen to me and humanity in general

*(((feral Miguel (again, sorry to insist, but the chasing scenes, with him all feral in all fours scratching and digging his talons- good lord) )))

*I adored with my whole heart Hobie Brown /spider-punk. Not nearly enough of him. Nonetheless, fucking excelent, perfect, amazing. I need him as an individual, (I'll chanel him- idk! Just, ill try to make him proud (???idk idk idk???!!!! I literally just rip)

* Miles Morales is the absolute best. Like, why comparisons at this point? Sorry PP(and aaalll others), it's all gonna be Spider-punk and Miles Morales in this house.

*Sorry all other media, comics and stuff, it's gonna be smatsv and smatsv only in this house, for ever. (And the first one too, sure, but, you know)

(I'm not even exaggerating. I'll be forever chasing this, am I not? But I mean, yes!!! I deserve it, everything around me should be like this, all I see and read, watch and listen to, everithing!... this should be the expectation, not the miraculous miracle. Being alive, being a free person, it all should be like this. - Oh god, this is an absolute new side of unhinged, for me. You know, its always like this and that, 'violent' or 'big eyed' or the classic 'horny'. This is, idk, between too personal and cosmical, like truly---- I dont fucking know. Just- Bye) (((But then away, it's like this made me realize that everything should be like this, I want being alive to be exiting, goddammit)))

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

A/N = I saw this picture on pinterest and knew I wanted to write something about someone having a petty/hot af gym experience with Toji. I read and edited as much as my eyes would allow. And as always, any grammatical/otherwise errors, lemme know.

T/W = Oral (M->F), brief masturbation, y/n calls Toji "Daddy", lots of unnecessary language, spanking, man in women's locker room (shower), 1 pussy slap, name calling (bitch). And others.

Bastard!Toji hones in on one woman at the gym. They do petty shit to one another, especially at the end.

"Don't call me a bitch.

Bitch"

Most of my dividers were made by @cafekitsune Go. Look. At. Them. They're amaze-balls.

MDNI/NSFW/🔞 -> under the cut.

You stood in your apartment buildings gym and filled your water bottle. Silently working yourself up as this asshole had been on one of your favorite weight machines for well past the 10-minute allotment.

"Tch, motherfucker. He's always doing that! I should turn him in to ... to ... someone." Toji looks up at you, smiles and winks. He motions and mouths the words "You want it?" And waves you over.

Ok, so maybe I was wrong about him, you thought. You put the lid back on your water bottle and walk over to him.

"Hey, sweetheart." Your eyebrows flew up at the cheese he was spewing from his scarred mouth. "You want this after me? I have 30 more reps to do on this arm and 50 on the other. Why don'cha give me your number and I'll call you when it's free. Yeah? My phone is in my front pocket. Go ahead and dig around until you feel something hard and grab it. Play with that for a bit, and then find my phone." He was so foul.

"Don't. Dont call me that." You noticed right away that it was not a question. He'd told you to grab his cock, give him your number, and he'd give you a ring when the machine was free.

"Hard pass, thanksanywaythough." Your words ran together as you denied his ... offer? Was it an offer? No. He was a bastard who saw you as nothing but his next meal. His next conquest.

"There's plenty of other equipment I can use and get the same result. But I s'pose you'd know that if you actually knew what you were doing." You turned on your heels and went across the room. Away from him and his stupid fucking pants that left very little to the imagination.

You started work on another machine, and you didn't take your eyes off of him from the waist down until you'd finished.

⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉ 2 weeks later⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉

You'd just gotten home from a terrible day at work. All you wanted was to eat a pint of Icing on the Cake and then rage-exercise your feelings away. But something gnawed at the back of your mind. It was a Friday and still relatively early in the afternoon.

You twisted your hair around your finger and wondered if he was down there. "The fuck ... am I thinking! I don't CARE. I DON'T CARE if he's there or not. But ... Fuck this." You threw your smallest workout clothes on, the ones that covered the least amount of skin, grabbed a clean water bottle and headed out the door.

The elevator door slid open, and your eyes nearly popped out of your head. "Are you ... fffuck. Of course, you'd be on right now." He was the last person you wanted to deal with. "Look, I had a seriously shit day. I want the machine first. Ok? You can have it all you want over the weekend." You decided for him. An offer he surely couldn't refuse. Right?

"Oh, darlin'. That's absolute shit that you had such a bad day. I'll tell you what, I get it first, and then you can have it after me for the foreseeable future. Mm?"

Your head tipped down so low your chin met the skin of your upper chest. A twisted laugh fell from your lips. "No. That's not what I said. The first thing I said to you was I wanted the fucking thing. Ok! Why are you acting like a toddler that can't have a toy he wants? Jesus. Just, don't talk to me anymore. I really don't like you."

"Oh. Come now, sweetheart. You know you don't mean that." He rubbed the scar on his mouth and purposely licked his lips.

The elevator stopped on the gym floor, and you stepped in front of him to block him from leaving first. Well, that was stupid.

He was over 6' tall. His muscles alone weighed more than you and your 5'3 frame. He lifted you with one arm and held you to the front of his hard body. Each carved muscle crevice sticking into your back made you want to stop struggling against him. But if you did that, you'd ultimately just be giving him what he wants: submission. And you'd sooner eat dirt than let him get anything from you.

"Put me down, you overgrown weed! What the fuck, man?!" You squirmed and fought his hold on you to no avail. "Ok, ok, oh-kayyy. Truce. Mercy. Uncle. Whatever but put me down! Please."

Your meager attempt at calming yourself made him laugh. The sound seeped into your ears. You weren't hating it. Laughter always held a certain spot in your heart. It didn't change the fact that you still hated him, though.

He dropped you to the floor, and you almost fell. "Nice, asshole." You hissed. "I. Am. Getting. That. Machine!" You scrambled to your feet and ran toward your goal.

You made it, too. But something was missing. You looked around you for your bottle of water but it wasn't anywhere to be found.

Until.

You looked around to find Toji. The son of a bitch was drinking from it. From your water. He finished a few giant gulps and dumped the rest over his body. Not only was the fucker getting to you with his obscenely palatable looks, but now his wet pants clung to his crotch even tighter than before. You'd be damned if your eyes didn't trail down his chest and rest on his bulging cock.

He watched you lose every ounce of fight you had left and he flexed his long cock. Solely for you.

Oh no. You thought. Oh, no no no. Look away, y/n. Look. Away.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing! Oh my god! Stop it! That's mine!! The wa– the water bottle is mine!" He polished off the bottle and threw it in the garbage. "Oh, you motherfff–"

"It's right here. Jesus. Why don't you grab a tampon and plug your hole before you stroke out. Now move. I'm first. I always go first."

"Fuck ... off. If you think that was my only water bottle then you must be dumber than you look. I'm not going anywhere. I think I'll work on my arms the whole time I'm here. Yep! Right here. On my favorite equipment. Mm-hmm. Here I go! Oh, oh yeah. That burn is ... oh shit. It's orgasmic!"

"You. Bitch." He said with no tone. And at that moment you swear a light bulb exploded over his head. "You really wanna start this shit with me? You're sure? You will be begging for me to stop by the end of the day. So help me." He promised.

He walked to the main office and you heard him say something to the manager. Then they both came out and walked toward you.

"Miss Y/L/n? Um, this is awkward. You've never caused any trouble here. And I don't know why you'd decide to start now. Over a weight machine, nonetheless. But I'm afraid I'm going to have to give you a warning about your aggressive behavior."

You leaned into the manager's small frame. Probably not the best idea since you were accused of being 'aggressive'.

"You're, you're what? You're giving me a warning for WHAT!?" You glared at where Toji was standing; like a victim. But you saw it: the subtle uptick of the corners of his mouth. Slimy bastard.

"Mr. Fushiguro told me what happened between you with ... with the weight machine." They shook their head, disappointed in your alleged behavior. "There are signs posted all over the gym, Y/L/n. And another thing? It's immature of you to throw his water bottle away."

"I didn't ... wait ... he's the one ..." It was useless. The manager was already walking back to their dark little room. You glared incredulously at Toji.

"You're the bitch here." Your words did not affect the man. You stomped away, so pissed you don't want to do anything at all now. "I'll remember this, and you owe me a water bottle. Bitch."

Toji just took his place on the machine and began to press the weights like a working mule.

⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉ 1 week later⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉

Today was the day. You were going to get a full arm workout. Your new outfit was so cute. It showed just enough of your skin to draw his attention, but not so much he'd assume you were trying to gain his gaze.

You got into the cropped sports bra and the pants that matched it and made sure everything was pointing in the right direction. But before you went to the elevator, you smacked on a thermal lip balm. It warmed at the heat from your lips and turned a cute, natural shade of bright pink.

You didn't understand why you wanted his attention. It was fun to keep his flexing junk on a constant loop in your head, though. It was becoming a pretty big distraction. No matter how many times you took matters into your own hands and tried to relieve the ever-present want between your legs, nothing you did brought you any relief.

You decided to exercise the lust right out of you.

As you locked your door behind you, Toji showed up and stood right in front of the elevator doors. He nearly blocked your way in. "Oh god. Why? Why are you always here when I am? It's a 24-hour gym. You can go another time? Why every night at 5:30?"

He turned to you and raised an eyebrow. "First, my name isn't 'Oh god.' It's Toji. Remember that. There's a good chance you'll be sittin' on my face screaming it out." He looked down at you with a playfulness in his eyes. "My face or somethin' else. And, unfortunately, you only feel like you own 5:30 rights to the apartment's gym. I'll go whenever I fuckin' wanna go." The elevator doors opened. "You comin', sweetheart?"

There it was again. The familiar pull of your throbbing cunt toward this beast of a man. He was so big. His body was hard everywhere. Even his cock seemed to be half hard all of the time. You hoped your new workout clothes would make him sorry for ever being a shit to you.

But so far, just standing next to him, he treated you like it were any other day that you both braced at the other's presence. But he didn't change when he was near you. Only you seemed to shift.

"You can have it first, ok? Just wipe it down for fucks sake. You sweat rivers when you do that." He smiled at your concession. But that was it. He didn't say thank you or look at you.

You stepped off into the gym after he did, and you went right for the leg machines.

He looked around the space and then at you settling in to do some leg presses. "What are you doin', baby? You want to go first today, that's fine."

"No, I said you can go first. I don't care anymore."

"No, really. Go first." He sat down on the bench. "Here, I'll watch ya."

"Why the hell would I do that?! You're just gonna watch me, and then, you're gonna sit there and judge my form or some shit. You're the worst person I've ever met."

"Ok, how about we both judge each other?"

"That's stupid, Toji." You sighed. It was exhausting having to have a conversation with him. "You just want to see me bend over."

"You know me so well, sweetheart."

"Don't call me that."

"Alright, alright. Jesus. Now, get over here, you're goin' first. And don't give me any lip ... about this, anyway. You can give me any other kinda l–"

You whacked him on the chest. "Stop there. I'll kick your ass if you finish that sentence. Got it, sweetheart?" You puffed your chest out and tried your best to be intimidating. But try as you might, Toji could squash you if he wanted to.

And oh, how you wanted him to fold you up, but you'd already decided you'd rather eat dirt than let this man within 6 inches of your dripping cunt. Wait ... did you just say dripping?

Fuh-uh-uck y/n! You're wet and it's because of him. Way to keep your eye on the balls – BALL.

Your face pinked up. And you hated yourself a little bit more for letting him get under your skin. There was something about him. His to-hell-with-it approach. You were drawn to him.

You stood with one leg crossed over the other, giving it your all to come across as though you were doing an exotic stretch.

"Hey, sweetheart, you look like you're, uh, trying not to cum. You doin' all right?" He let out a loud laugh.

You gasped at his observance. "I ... wh–. I told you not to call me that. Shut the fuck up. Take the machine. I never want to see it again." You skittered across the floor. Your hips swaying from one side to the other, and back again. For him. This guy. Such an asshole. Saying that to me. Absolutely no tact.

You got into the last shower in the women's locker room as soon as your clothes were off. The heat between your legs reaching a whole new level. And now that you think about it, you haven't felt this horny in a long time.

He was so crude and almost dirty ... and ... oh ... How you want him to fuck you.

The hot water eased some of the tension in your muscles. You washed your hair and conditioned it. When it came time to wash your body, everything was going smoothly until you started to soap up your breasts, stomach, thighs, and beyond. Turning down the water temperature, you hoped it would cool you somehow. But all it did was make you painfully aware of how badly you wanted Toji in there with you. To take the brunt of the icy spray hitting your half washed body.

It was impossible to ignore the urge to finger yourself.

You lowered your hand and your fingers ran circles around the soft flesh of your clit. It didn't take much for your walls to start contracting.

"Oh, god, mmhm."

There was a noise out in the dressing room. "Hello? I ... I h–hello? Goddamn it. I was getting close. Ok, ok." You sunk back against the opaque tiled wall and began running your fingers through your tender folds, approaching your orgasm, once again, almost too quickly.

You called out Toji's name as you came all over your hand. "Toj'– oh god, you're s'big! Yes, fuck me, Toji!" You moaned a little too loudly. Would anyone hear you? No one else was in there and the gym itself was pretty quiet for a Friday evening. Good. This was all good.

Just as you were about to turn the water off, the curtain was pulled back and your eyes popped wide open. "Oh my god! What are you doing?"

"Oh, darlin' ... I'm not the one who just blew her load while saying my name. That's just sad, sweetheart."

"Stop calling me that!! Oh, I can't believe this! How dare you come in here! All ... all fucking naked and ... and ... big! Just go away. What the fuck are you doing anyway?"

"I came in here to shower and ... wait. Did you say big? Well, darlin', that's not even the tip of the iceberg. I'll show you if you stop covering yourself."

You realized what you were doing. Your hands were covering your breasts and pussy. The cold water from the shower head was still pouring over you. You were nearly shivering.

"Fuck you, Toji. I'm not moving. You can go to a different shower. How about one in the nens locker room!"

"Now, sweetheart, why ya gotta go and be like this? You finished showerin' and fuckin'." He laughed, "Thoroughly, from what I heard." He grabbed his fat cock and pumped it in his fist a few times, slowly. "And these showers are nicer. Better water pressure. You're cold. Here, let me warm ya."

He pulled your arms down to fully expose you. "W-wait, what are you doing? Oh... god. D-don't... come closer."

"I'm not coming closer. You're the one getting closer."

You hadn't realized that it was you making your way toward him. You could feel his body pressing up against yours. "Toji, why are you ... I, please, don't. This isn't the time or place ... You need to ... to ..." You tried to sound stern but it was hard. His scent was getting stronger. His body is more intoxicating. Your words lost momentum the more you tried to convince yourself that he should stop.

He smelled like sweat and man. Not that gross, musty body odor that certain men carry after a heavy workout. This smelled like pure sex. You wanted to bottle it and save it for a rainy day.

"What's the matter, sweetheart? Cat got your tongue?"

"What the hell does that even mean? And I told you to stop ... y'know, whatever. Whatever."

"You've got no sense of adventure, do ya, sweetheart. You're too afraid to admit you're not as good at hiding your desire for me than you thought. You're afraid I'll be better at pleasuring you than anyone else has been." Toji squeezed the head of his cock and threw his head back, letting out a growl.

He was standing in the shower with you now. His cock was dragging across your belly with each twist of his hips. You were quickly losing the composure you always try to maintain around Toji. He can sense the heavy shift in your energy, and he cages you in against the shower wall with his toned body.

You stood there like a baby deer in the headlights. Nothing you did would lessen your fixation on how you felt as he stood so tall over you.

It took all your reserved efforts to lift your hands and grab his biceps. He saw you struggling with this. You two had been dancing around each other for weeks. When you'd declare your hatred for him, it gave him life. He thrives on the frustration you give to him and what he gives to you.

His large palms slid down the length of your sides until he was holding your hips. He was waiting for you to either push him away or pull him closer. You chose the latter.

You brought his wet body to your face and digging your nails into him, you licked his pecs.

"Mm, there's a good girl. Now, why don't you tell Daddy what you want, hm?" You almost came when he said that.

He lifted you like you were nothing but a child's plaything. So malleable. The transparency of your newfound intention made his cock leak.

"Please, Toji."

"Daddy, sweet–sweetheart."

"P–please, Daddy. Please, fuck me. Make me cum, Daddy."

"Yeah? Well let's, mmm, see what we can – ah fuck – do about ... that ..." He had lined himself up with your hole, teasing you, making you beg. You couldn't even look at him. Not only were you embarrassed, but he was just too intimidating. "Come on, baby. Tell me, how much ya want it."

"M'Toj', s‐someone might come in."

He kissed your wet breasts and assured you, "The only ones comin' in here will be me and you. I sent everyone home. Told'm I'd lock up when we were done."

"Wh– how? How can you just kick out a bunch of people?" Just who had you gotten yourself mixed up with.

"You don't know, sweetheart? Heh, well, shit. I own this apartment building. Yep. S'all mine."

"What?" You were trying to process what he said and not be so distracted by his dick rubbing all over you.

"You heard me. Now, let me taste that sweet, tight pussy."

Jesus fuck he's so hot. You tried everything to wiggle down a little lower so you could sit yourself down on his cock, but he wouldn't let you. "No, baby. Lemme taste."

He pushed your back against the wall and spread your legs around his neck. His mouth was hot. You felt him moan and grumble against your mound as he ate your pussy like it was his first and last time. His excitement was contagious.

He was careless with his movements but precise in his direction. Sloppy wasn't the word that came to mind. Nothing came to mind because you couldn't concentrate on anything but how his tongue darted in and out of your body.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head. The sensation was so much more than you'd expected. This wasn't the kind of sex you'd had before. It wasn't the kind of sex you'd heard others speak about. You'd never, even in your dirtiest dreams and fantasies, thought this existed.

And yet, here you are. Your ass resting in Toji's hands, back steadying against the somewhat warmed tile. Your legs tightly wrapped around his neck while he sucks on your clit. How did you get so lucky.

He was taking his time, savoring the way you tasted. His lips pressed and sucked every bit of your skin and nibbled on your inner thighs.

"Mmmm ... T–Daddy. "

"Good girl. Y'gonna cum for Daddy, sweetheart?"

"Hahhh, yes, Daddy! Please, don't ... don't stop. I'm s'close, Toji."

"Fuck, sweetheart. Say that again, baby."

"Say ... say wha–"

"My name." He put his mouth back on you so gently. Lulling you into a false sense of security.

"Toji, oh god, fuck!"

He stopped for a moment and eased you down the front of his body. Your pussy nearly swallowing his entire length.

He felt the exquisite brush of your tight hole against his head. "Ohh shit, darlin'. But not yet."

"Toji, what ..."

"Hold on." He left the steamy enclosure of the walls and opened a cupboard in the locker room area.

"Ok, sit on this so you don't get cold." He laid out a plush towel for you over the wide bench in the large shower.

You sat as he got down on his knees in front of you. "Hmm. Now ... where was I ..." Toji buried his whole face between your folds. Licking and sucking at your soft flesh. The bridge of his nose hitting your clit just so. Quietly daring you to rub yourself on him and driving you further down.

Your head fell back as he got you right back to where you were before the change of position. His hands found their way up under your thighs and he pulled you forward with such force you had to stand or you'd fall.

And so, you stood over Toji now as he played in your cunt with his greedy mouth. You ran your hands through his black hair, tugging hard on it when he hit just the right spot and just the right speed.

He spread and smacked your ass cheeks. Ultimately sliding two rough fingers in between your lower lips to tease your sopping wet entrance.

"Fuck you taste so good, sweetheart. I could do this all day. I could do this all night. Let's do that. Yeah, darlin'? Wanna fuck all night?"

"Yeah, yes. M'close, Toji. So ... close ... Da–Daddy!"

"Cum for me, baby. Cum on Daddy's tongue. Let it go. Come on, sweetheart. I want it."

Your eyes squeezed shut, your head thrown back, and the muscles in your lower abdomen pulled tight. He held you still by the backs of your thighs and forced you to stay upright. "Mmmm, fuck, yes. Right there. Keep ... oh god ... yes! Yesyesyes! Oh FUCK! TOJIII!"

Your world was spinning as you came on his face and chest. He didn't care. He kept eating you out until you pushed him away. Your pussy was beyond overstimulated. So you pulled away and sat down slowly, trying to get your jellied legs to cooperate.

You were both breathing heavily, but Toji's breathing was different. It was deeper, almost raspier. You looked up at him and found him stroking his leaky reddened cock.

"Toji, let me ... I wanna–"

"Mmm. No." He said as his head fell down to watch as his hand wrapped around the tip.

"But ..."

"No."

"I ... I ... ok."

"What the hell kinda response is that? 'Ok?' Jesus, sweetheart. Get on the fuckin' floor."

"I didn't mean it like tha–"

"Sweetheart, do I gotta spank ya? 'Cuz I'll do it."

"Oh. You're just ... uhm. You're kinda ... I like ... I'd like that."

"Yeah? I thought so. Get down here."

You lowered yourself onto his legs, positioning your belly just over his thighs. His full length is so close to you. "Wait, wait. Hold on. You can't ... can't spank me. I need ..."

"What? What do you need?"

"You can't spank me unless you're inside me." You stuck your tongue out at him.

"Well well well. Look whose bratty little self is back." He crossed his arms over his large chest.

"I'm not a brat."

"Oh yeah? Prove it." He slipped his hand between your thighs and spread your legs, giving your cunt a little smack.

"AH! How?"

"By being a good little girl and letting Daddy spank you." He said sharply.

"What if I'm not Daddy's good girl? Will you spank me even harder?"

"Maybe."

"Well, in that case, make me. Fucker."

He smacked you, not too hard, and rubbed his large palm over your blushing ass cheek. "Again."

*Smack. Smack. Smack.* He bit into the red skin and ran his fingers teasingly around your entrance. Pulling away when he felt you trying to suck him in.

"Tojii ..."

"What is it, sweetheart?"

"Will you ..."

"... I'm waiting," he said, impatiently.

"Will you fuck me, Daddy? Please?" You batted your lashes. "I want you so bad."

He smiled. "You sound so cute when you beg. But no. I don't think so. Here's $25 for a new water bottle though. See ya 'round, bitch." He stood up, washed his body off and walked out of the shower. Leaving you with a wink, a shit-eating grin, and crumpled cash.