#this is about policies around trans people in my church

[a-bucket-in-the-void]

it’s so fucking stupid

sorry oakley religion rant

but like

i feel like i’ve heard some stupid argument of ‘you can’t fully understand god he works in ways humans can’t understand you just have to trust him. have faith’

which i guess makes sense, like i can’t fully understand infinity, god won’t fully makes sense to me all the time

but also

do you know how fucking stupid that is to respond to someone with

what you’re saying right now is literally just ‘trust me dude truuust mee’

religion is god reaching out to people and people reaching out to god (to me, i guess that doesn’t really work if you don’t believe in god)

humans are not an insignificant part of that

humans fuck up dude humans make mistakes

i’m not just gonna trust what you say blindly i’m sorry that’s stupid

[personal-progress-dropout]

The Rainbow Sheep III

I have complicated relationship with my gender.

Like many people who grew up in the church, I was raised with a strict concept of gender—there were men and there were women. Gender was determined in the pre-existence, and the gender you were assigned at birth was the gender you got. Trangenderism was, at best, a form of envy or self-hatred, and at worst, an act of rebellion against God. I wouldn’t hear the words nonbinary or intersex until I was a teenager.

Despite this, my parents were pretty easy-going about gender expression. My brother was allowed to dress up in my princess costumes when we were kids and I could buy clothes from the boy’s section without comment. There were some catches, of course—I was expected to wear a dress or skirt for formal occasions, and I’m not sure they’d ever be okay with my brother wearing anything ‘feminine’ once he was old enough to be a deacon. (He isn’t interested presenting himself as anything other than a cis guy, so I’ve never had the chance to see my hypothesis put to the test.) There was always a framed copy of The Family Proclamation hanging in our house. We had firm convictions about gender, so I never questioned my identity as a woman.

Like most things in my life, that changed when I moved out for college. I discovered a lot of things about myself—I was autistic and ADHD, I had seasonal depression, I would actually rather be a librarian than a teacher, and unlike what I had previously claimed to people, I was much more into women than I was to men, and I fall somewhere on the aroace spectrum. Above all, I discovered that my relationship with my AGAB was far more nebulous than I had assumed as a child.

I never had gender dysphoria, which I thought was an essential part of being trans or nonbinary. I was perfectly satisfied with being a woman, although the casual sexism I’d face was frustrating. And then I heard about ‘gender euphoria.’ I realized that I found joy in experimenting with gender, swinging between androgyny and femininity. I played around with pronouns, and found that being referred to as ‘they’ made me just as happy and comfortable as ‘she.’ (I’m rather indifferent to ‘he’.) When I discovered the term ‘demigirl’, I thought, “Yes, this is me.” I’ve since upgraded to ‘demiwoman’, and occasionally refer to myself as nonbinary.

I think it’s basically a rite of passage to have a gender/sexuality crisis when you’re religious and LGBTQ+. Much like the years after I figured out I was queer, I have moments where I worry that I’m actually just a cis woman who’s so empathetic to her trans and nonbinary friends that she’s fooled herself into thinking she’s demigender. Which is stupid, but nobody has ever claimed that anxiety follows rational thought.

Anyways, I wanted to share a spiritual experience I had lately: after the craziness that is Christmas and navigating through family drama, I had a chance to reflect. I was going over my imposter syndrome and how my gender identity is supposed to fit in with God’s great plan when I had a thought:

You are my daughter, my son, my child.

I wasn’t in the temple or in sacrament meeting. I was in my aunt’s spare room, lying on a crappy couch and staring up at a cat tree. And I still felt the assurance that Heavenly Father sees me. This doesn’t answer any of my questions about church policy or doctrine regarding gender identity, but it gave me hope. People may not think we have a place in the church, that we have to keep our mouths shut and fall in line in order to be in good standing with God. I reject that—there is a place for us, both in the church and in the eternal family. One day we’ll know more, and have a greater understanding, but for now, that one sentence of acknowledgement was enough.

[nerdygaymormon]

I'm sorry, I'm out of the loop. I heard about the handbook changes a while back about trans people no longer being able to hold callings involving children. I'm sorry to ask this when I know I can probably look it up myself, but I'm not sure where to look and I know you can explain it in a way that won't have me upset again lol. are those changes still around? what other handbook guidelines are in place around the lgbtq+ community?

and I just want to add how much I value you and your knowledge. your blog has been an anchor for me even if I haven't interacted much.

Thank you for that compliment, that was very generous.

While little bits about queer people in the church can be found in different sections of the Handbook, mostly we are in the last section under Policies on Moral Issue. I don't love that being queer is seen as a "moral issue."

The church treats the T differently from the rest of the LGB, so we will have to talk about the Handbook guidelines in two parts. I will do my best to explain the policies in a neutral way, until the end of each section when I'll share my opinion.

————————————————

Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual

The church distinguishes between attraction and behavior. The attraction is fine, but breaking the law of chastity is not okay. LGB people can get baptized, go to the temple, hold callings, and males can have the priesthood. The restrictions and punishments come when the person has sex or enters a marriage/long-term relationship as both are forbidden between two people of the same sex. Basically LGB members can do anything that straight members can do before marriage (except at the BYU schools where a stricter standard exists, but that's not in the Handbook).

I notice that the church is fine using "heterosexual" but not "homosexual" or "bisexual." Here's one sentence as an example: God’s commandments forbid all unchaste behavior, either heterosexual or same-sex. I think that difference in terminology is telling, we are not equal.

————————————————

Transgender

If you're interested, I wrote a brief history of the LDS Church's trans teachings & policies and it ends with mention of the 2024 changes without going into what they were. So here's a list of the changes:

Handbook section 38.6.23 used to be called “Transgender Individuals” and now it says “Individuals Who Identify as Transgender.” The section also says “members who feel their inner sense of gender does not align with their biological sex at birth” instead of “transgender person.”

The Handbook used to say: “Most Church participation and some priesthood ordinances are gender neutral. Transgender persons may be baptized and confirmed as outlined in 38.2.3.14. They may also partake of the sacrament and receive priesthood blessings. However, priesthood ordination and temple ordinances are received according to birth sex.”

Now it says, “The ordinances of salvation and exaltation are received according to a person’s biological sex at birth.” It also suggests that the ways a trans person can participate in church is by doing family history and providing service to others.

The Handbook used to say “A transgender person may be baptized and confirmed if he or she is not pursuing elective medical or surgical intervention to attempt to transition to the opposite of his or her biological sex at birth (“sex reassignment”).”

Now it says, “Baptism and confirmation are received according to a person’s biological sex at birth. Worthy individuals who do not pursue surgical, medical, or social transition away from their biological sex at birth may be baptized and confirmed.”

It used to say, “Some children, youth, and adults are prescribed hormone therapy by a licensed medical professional to ease gender dysphoria or reduce suicidal thoughts. Before a person begins such therapy, it is important that he or she (and the parents of a minor) understands the potential risks and benefits. If these members are not attempting to transition to the opposite gender and are worthy, they may receive Church callings, temple recommends, and temple ordinances.

Now this carve out for someone to receive hormone therapy under medical supervision for their mental well being and still be considered worthy has been eliminated.

There is also a supplement to the Handbook, this is the first time such a “supplement” has been issued. It includes rules limiting a trans person to only attending meetings & activities which align with their gender assigned at birth, forbids trans youth and young single adults from overnight activities, restricts trans members from almost all callings, and has specific rules about under what circumstances a trans person may use the restroom.

The Handbook says "These individuals often face complex challenges. They—and their family and friends—should be treated with sensitivity, kindness, compassion, and Christlike love. All are children of God and have divine worth.” Do these changes seem like they’re sensitive, kind, compassionate and full of love?

What they’ve actually done is say there is no such thing as a transgender person and anyone who feels they are needs to repent. Basically, we don’t want you around our children, we don’t trust you to even go to the bathroom, if you feel like we don’t want you here, please know we’re telling you this “with love and respect.”

In the October 2020 General Conference, President Nelson delivered a talk titled “Let God Prevail” in which he said, “Today I call upon our members everywhere to lead out in abandoning attitudes and actions of prejudice. I plead with you to promote respect for all of God’s children.” I wish the church truly strove to follow this admonition.

[earthgeco]

@heathersdesk as promised here's the explanation of my theory about the importance of imperfection in the church for the perfection of the saints.

As is the way of the Lord this starts several years ago when I was on my mission, where I finally actually understood the importance of trials in our lives.

Newtons third law states that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. If we want to walk forward we need to overcome two forces: gravity, and friction.

Gravity and friction make walking difficult, BUT if we did not have those oppositions there would be no movement. If there were a room with no gravity and no friction, there would be no movement. We would just flail around and never get anywhere, much less toward our goal.

Trials are our spiritual gravity and friction. They provide the opposing force from which we push. To be perfected is a process of trial and growth, trial and growth, trial and growth. It will not be easy but it the only way we can come unto Christ and become like our Heavenly Parents.

Last conference was hard for me and I only ended up watching about half a session, though I have since read some of the talks and quite liked them. It didn't push me out of the church, but it got close. I had recently come out as gender-queer and started using they/them. It made me wonder. I had received personal revelation from the Lord that my gender identity and expression was part of my eternal identity and supported by Them, so why was the quorum of the twelve and the first presidency teaching contrary to this? My answer as typical of the Lord came from an old institute teacher who I had once spent nearly an hour arguing with about trans rights. He was substituting for the class I was in and we were talking about the organization of the church.

Ephesians 4:11-17 teaches us about the organization of the church saying:

11.And he gave some, apostles; and to some, prophets; and to some, evangelists; and to some, pastors, and teachers;

12.For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ:

13.Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ.

14.That we are henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and the cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive

15.But speaking the truth in love, may grow up unto him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:

16.From whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working inn the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love.

17.This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that ye henceforth walk not as other gentiles walk, in the vanity of their mind.

The Church is organized intentionally it is imperfect by design.

"For the perfecting of the saints," trials are the biggest perfecting force in life. So we are perfected both by good and bad experiences within the church and by good and bad experiences with the members of the church.

"In the unity of the faith," becoming unified doesn't happen on accident, a common group dynamic model identifies "storming" or a period of disagreement and struggle as a fundamental part of growing an effective team. Overcoming the struggle is what unifies us.

"Be no more children, tossed to and fro," learning to love imperfect people and finding the good in everyone helps us learn who we are and what we believe which will ground us in Christ.

"But speaking the truth in love...even Christ," Recognizing that Christ is the truth and learning to share the his gospel with love helps us and those around us grow closer to him.

Each part and person in the church is important for the whole to improve every person every policy no matter how harmful it is is there for a reason, so each member of the church can learn and grow. That's not to say we must accept everything. It is often in fighting for change we grow the most. We are not the "true church" because we are the best, or even that we are right about everything. This is the true church because we have the living gospel and we learn and grow together. We work together for the edifying and perfecting of the saints.

[forest-faerie-witch]

RIP America

I have been up all night. I've been following the campaign since Harris was at the first DNC. I have hoped and hoped that she would win. But now, as that lunatic is 3 points from winning, my chest is tight and I'm fighting tears.

I've been terrified through this whole thing. Afraid of losing my right to control my own body. Scared of losing my disability income. Worried about my daughter's rights. I'm deeply troubled about our world. What is going to happen to Ukraine now? To our immigrant friends?

There are things I can't wrap my head around. How is it OK for a convicted criminal to not only run for public office, but THE public office? To lead our entire country?! How is this lawful? How did our founding fathers not anticipate this? Did they just think "Well, it's just common sense, right?" They obviously didn't have the foresight to see the state of human beings in this century.

And what happened to separation of church and state? Why are the religious nuts still waving their bibles around at my uterus? How about, it's NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS! You wanna believe in your god? Good for you. But don't tell me how to live just because we don't agree. I don't tell you what to do. I don't care. It's a free country, right? Well, apparently not if we are still being held to christian ideals.

This country was NOT based on religion. It was based on the freedom from religious persecution. (Do your homework people). It is NOT one nation under god. That was added to our money and our pledge in the 50s by... you guessed it, the religious right. Look it up. It's fact.

And now women are going to continue to die because of the abortion bans because of that fucking maniac's overturning of Roe v Wade. And once he's in office his MAGAtards are going to feel it's open season on all "other" people. Gays, trans, some of whom I call friends. It's going to be the wild west. Redneck ideology will only be rivaled by the christian right, comingled in most cases.

Haven't we had enough racism? Isn't there enough hate already? You guys - the HALF of our country who thought it was a great idea to put this fucking piece of shit back in the white house - are going to see. Yeah, you think he's so funny. "Oh he just says it like it is, says what's on his mind, etc." Oh yes, so presidential. If I want to talk shit with people, I don't go to the white house for it. I want my commander in chief to be presidential. Not a fucking convicted rapist, cheater, misogynist, lying waste of air.

He is going to pardon himself. All he's wanted through this whole thing was to win so he wouldn't go to prison. You'll see. He does NOT CARE ABOUT YOU! All he cares about is Donald Trump. He surrounds himself with sycophants who lick his arsehole and do his bidding. He'll let all the lunatics out that attacked our capitol. Insurgents. People, wake the fuck up! Think about this. All you who consider yourself "patriots," how would you feel if a group of people attacked the capitol when it wasn't your idea? You'd be furious!

I'm not saying Kamala was perfect. And she did the best she could in the short time she had to run. But at least she had solid plans for furthering our people. Her vision was one of unity, safety, equal rights and building the economy where everyone has a fair shot. I've never heard a single detailed policy from that... thing. All he does is wave his hands around and say don't worry, it's going to be great.

WHAT'S GOING TO BE GREAT?!!!!! Explain it to me. Tell me how you're going to do these things? Oh right. Tariffs. The idiot doesn't even know how tariffs work. Tariffs will cost the AMERICAN PEOPLE! If an exporter has to pay more to export their goods to us, then the companies that buy those goods have to pay more, and in turn, we pay that difference. The man is a moron. It's no wonder all his businesses fail and he filed bankruptcy 6 times.

He has no idea how to run a country. He let 100s of thousands of people die with his deplorable handling of COVID. Inject bleach... how fucking stupid can someone be. He inherited a good economy from Obama and fucked it up. And then has the nerve to further hypnotize his cult followers saying his presidency was the best ever. His economy the best ever. Everything the best ever. When the rest of the world knows he was the least popular president - ever. Was the worst president. He's so deluded by his own ego he believes his own lies and then so do his followers.

I'm old. I have a small income. I can't afford to pack up and try and find another country to live in. And believe me, I've been looking into it. But the only way you can live in another country is if you have MONEY. If you can't contribute to society in another country, good luck moving there. But the prospect of living in a Trump dystopia is terrifying.

Let's hope that I'm wrong. I'm really hoping I am.

[ace-of-bass]

All of this is real but I wanna add on a personal story that's the reverse of the original post, just so folks don't think all is lost.

When I was growing up, my parents were staunch Republicans. Both of them are very Evangelical, both are from from southern families, both were military brats, and my dad spent 20+ years in the air force. Not a combo that's particularly well known for making people less conservative. My mom tells me that when my parents were in college in the early 90s my dad could've been a Young Republican.

I think my dad's mind began to change around the 2008 election, when we lived in DC. DC is a fairly progressive city, though it's also a military town, and for the first time my dad knew people at church who were liberal and had productive, respectful conversations with them. He still disagreed, but he understood that it was a difference of opinion - not that liberals were evil or stupid.

My dad's mind further changed in 2014, when he was deployed to Afghanistan. He became really close with his translator, who was working and hoping to immigrate to the US - actually I think his first translator did immigrate while he was there and he had a second one for the last couple months he was there. He also saw the incredible hospitality of Afghan people and was blown away by it. He still keeps up with his translator, who lives in Texas now. One thing he said to me at the time was something to the effect of, "Afghans are just like us. They want a better life for their children and are willing to work hard to attain that."

I couldn't trace the evolution in my mom's beliefs quite as well, since she was less outspoken about her politics when I was a kid, but I know a couple things more recently helped move her left. One of our good friends from the church we attended in Arizona, a kid a couple years older than me, came out as trans a few years after we moved away. When we knew her, she had always been thoughtful, intelligent, and well-spoken, as had her mom. When she came out, her mom was unflinchingly supportive, despite plenty of transphobia from other people at the church. My mom didn't actively join in either side but watched it play out on facebook. A few years ago, after the Club Q shooting in my parents' current home of Colorado Springs, my mom said that she thought that all the homophobia and transphobia from the church was wrong. She said there were maybe some Bible verses against being gay, but she couldn't think of any that were against being trans.

But the thing that got my mom really fired up against the republicans was COVID-19. My sister is immunosuppressed and so the isolation of the pandemic hit my family particularly hard, since it was really not safe for them to go anywhere. All the while, conservative voices at their church insisted that services go on as usual, in person, masks and tests not required. This was life or death for my sister, and the callousness of my mom's community broke her heart, I think, and also got her upset at the republican party and Donald Trump (someone my parents had never liked). In 2020, my parents cast their first blue votes.

As my beliefs have rocketed leftwards, my parents' have less quickly. But I still find it fairly easy to talk about politics with them, as long as I don't use the most inflammatory language. Last year, my dad brought up not liking Biden's foreign policy, and said that the handling of the situation in Palestine was a disaster. He said, "I'm not pro-Hamas, I mean, they are a terrorist organization, but the response from Israel has just been so incredibly outsized and unwarranted, and Biden has done nothing against it." Maybe not #fromtherivertothesea, but a more progressive stance than most would expect.

Anyway, I think this reiterates what prev said, that you have to be continually progressing forward. My parents haven't ever been radical, but they've always been open to new ideas, new experiences, and new perspectives, listening to others and hearing what they have to say. If you strive for those things, I think that will do a lot to inoculate you against propaganda.

[pashterlengkap]

Transgender Catholics in Indonesia love Pope Francis for his message of tolerance

Pope Francis’ embrace of transgender Catholics has extended from the Vatican around the world to Indonesia, where he’s on a four-day official visit to the Southeast Asian island nation. But trans women on a pilgrimage there to see the pontiff in person were left with only “dreams” of an audience with him after local bishops refused their request to meet him. Related How a trans sex worker from Paraguay became friends with the Pope The pontiff has been welcoming transwomen to the Vatican. The Pope, who famously asked, “Who am I to judge?” in response to a question about gay priests, has openly engaged with the trans community in Rome, inviting the women to dine at the Vatican and donating Vatican funds to house and feed them. Global perspectives delivered right to your inbox Our newsletter bridges borders to bring you LGBTQ+ news from around the world. Subscribe to our Newsletter today The Pope’s reputation for tolerance preceded him as a group of trans women in South Jakarta assembled their best outfits for his visit to a stadium in Jakarta where he appeared for a service addressing the Muslim-majority country’s small but vocal Catholic community. “When we got Francis as the Pope, I realized that God was really listening,” Mami Yuli, a leader of the trans community in South Jakarta, told The New York Times. The devout Catholic has an image of the rosary tattooed on her chest. “This is not the Pope but God himself visiting us,” she said. Francis has encouraged local bishops in Indonesia to show tolerance for the trans community for years. “Pope Francis has called for us several times not to judge them,” said the Rev. Agustinus Kelik Pribadi, the priest of Saint Stephen Catholic Church in South Jakarta. “We must listen.” The newly extended Catholic embrace has welcomed dozens of trans converts to the Church in recent years, according to Rev. Adrianus Suyadi, a Jesuit priest at Jakarta’s Cathedral. Many have been baptized in the country’s capital, per an official policy formalized by Pope Francis for trans and LGBTQ+ people last year. Fr. Suyadi and other priests also credit the city’s archbishop, Cardinal Ignatius Suharyo Hardjoatmodjo, for the welcoming attitude. They say the cardinal instructed priests to welcome transgender people into their parishes as part of a push to respect all human dignity. “When I go to the church nobody judges me,” said trans Catholic Ms. Gondhoadjmodjo, 40, who was baptized in 2022. “That makes me more sure I want to be a Catholic.” But for the South Jakarta trans community that made the pilgrimage to see the pope in person — dressed to the nines and loaded into a collection of cars for their trip north —the welcome did not extend inside the stadium or even near the entrance where they hoped to get a glimpse of Francis. They didn’t have tickets, they said, and their hoped-for invitation for an audience with the pope didn’t materialize. Police kept the group, dressed in their sequined Sunday best and carrying a colorful banner, at a distance. “They cannot receive us here,” said Devine Selviana Siahaan, one of the trans women. “But I still can talk to Francis in my dreams.” http://dlvr.it/TCslry

[jackednephi]

I'm gonna put this rambling under the cut but have the text messages I sent my mother earlier

I just saw the church policy updates last night. Why do they hate me? What did I ever do wrong? How is being me a sin? I'm not hurting anybody

[She asked for clarification]

The church has said that, even though children before 8 cannot sin, if the kid is transgender, they're sinful. Trans folks are no longer allowed around children, to receive the blessings of the priesthood, and a lot more. Even if it's just a social transition. Trans folks are being treated worse than convicted sexual offenders. What the hell did I ever do wrong for people who have never even met me to hate me?

I've done plenty wrong in other ways. I've trusted the wrong people and hurt others. But I've always apologized and done my best to purge the root urge from my heart. How much more repenting am I supposed to be doing? All for the way I exist? Does God also have the bird beg forgiveness for daring to sing? This isn't fair. Where does the love even begin? I thought we were to love and be loved. This is beyond painful and I don't even have dad to cry to

My conclusion is this: either god hates me and the way he made me and others or. The church is wrong. And considering it's been wrong in the past well

But yeah that's what I sent

I do think I have a point here about birds. God gave them voices so they sing. To pretend to be cishet would be so antithetical to my being that like. Could you imagine a songbird without song? How depressed the poor creature would be?

God gave us grapes but not wine and wheat but not bread. So we have to make those final steps ourselves. The way I see it, he gave us bodies and it's up to us to figure out the rest. Would the lord have a baker repent for turning wheat into bread? The vinter for transforming grapes to wine? The bird for twittering? The lion for its fangs? The rabbit for its ears?

Why then, must I apologize for being true to my spirit? Why must I cower and beg and plead and whittle myself down? Steal the fangs from my lion's mouth, shear the rabbit's ears, and cease my singing? Why am I tasked to cut something so fundamental from my core? It would be a grave sin to maul nature, to steal that which makes creation unique. And yet my brethren and I are tasked with killing ourselves. Of murdering our fundamental nature. And for what?

I feel so cast out and hated. The policy of exclusion had me bawling my eyes out on my bathroom floor years ago. And these new policies have me weeping yet again. How is a little child committing a sin greater than sexual predators by being honest? I thought we valued honesty. That little children were innocent and incapable of lies and inherently good and pure. What business does a toddler have saying "I feel wrong" or "I'm really a boy/girl"

I dont! Get it!

Our God is a God of love and peace and mercy. He is wrathful to the hateful and unjust. How is my love for my wife hateful? How is the light I see glitter in her eyes when she has a mouthful of mischief wrong? The way the corners of her mouth upturn before she unleashes a pun is breathtaking. But apparently because she's not cis either, we're both in the wrong

I've spoken before how unfairly polyamory is treated. How people find me loving more than one person a problem. That's nothing new. To them, love is to be jealously guarded and given sparingly. I am incapable of this. My heart is full of endless love. The few folks who understand the way my love overflows have been fellow queer folks

I don't know how to articulate where I'm going with all this. All I know is it hurts. It feels like my heart is wrapped in barbed wire. Like I'm a songbird forced into silence

All I know is it hurts

[latterdaydaisy]

Temple update!

Overall great trip, as per usual.

But in regards to my anxious prayers.

I could feel God’s sorrow in just how fearful I am.

Why can I trust the Spirit when I’m told to return to this church back when I was an exmo, but I fear the same feelings I felt then are wrong now anytime I ask if I’m okay the way I am?

I can feel God mourning over the fact I’m so stuck in my fear. Being unloved, being different, not pleasing the world. I know I’m loved, I know it’s okay to be different and I was made this way with a purpose, and I know the only opinion I should care for is that of my Heavenly Parents and my Savior.

I was waiting to do initiatories, feeling an odd mix of beautiful yet dysphoric in my temple clothes. I love feeling pretty and feminine, but as a trans masc it’s only really easy to express that part of myself around people who support me. Being referred to sister makes me recoil, yet in my pretty dress and my androgynous face and body I feel I’m truly myself in the house of the Lord. Just not truly seen by those around me. But He sees me. I’m sitting in this chair, avoiding getting too close to the women on the benches because my lack of breasts and my five o’clock shadow tend to make people stare. I feel I’m intruding on a sacred space I don’t belong. This chair is the only place of seating in front of a stained glass window. I sit there, waiting patiently for my turn absorbing the warmth from the window. The Holy Ghost and my crippling anxiety are fighting for my attention. I was going to wait until I went into the celestial room, but I can’t take it anymore.

“God, reconfirm to me what you’ve revealed to me every time that I’ve asked, in and outside of the temple. Is it okay that I’m trans, is it okay that I’ve changed my body and I feel somehow like both a man and a woman yet nothing at all? Is it okay that I’m simply daisy?”

People passing by are staring at me, but I don’t care anymore. I need to know if I can still return to God feeling how I feel. I open my tear filled eyes for a moment to collect myself as I wait for an answer.

Suddenly I’m brought out of my anxiety driven dissociation. I’m present in my body and aware of my surroundings. I’m sitting straight up, almost regal looking in my gown on this fancy temple chair. There’s a halo of sunlight behind me, and shining on my body and spreading out onto the walls there’s rainbows. I look to the other stained glass windows and they’re projecting nothing. Something so mundane and normal yet for me in that moment the Spirit spoke to me.

When one is endowed we’re promised the blessings of being kings and queens, priests and priestesses. And God reminded me despite what the church feels right now and policies, those blessings will not be hidden away for His queer children. No blessings will be lost for the righteous. Those who died without their ordinances WILL have them done. I am not a man, I am not a woman. I am daisy. I’m a beloved child of God, a child of the covenant, and a disciple and emissary of the Lord Jesus Christ. And if I’m unwavering in my love for and faith in Jesus Christ, I too will be blessed with these same promises. I have a divine birthright and eternal destiny. I am just as worthy of God’s love as anyone else, and so are you.

I don’t know why God has asked me to walk this difficult path of creating change in small and simple ways by being open about my faith and queer identity, to those in and outside of the church. I feel unworthy of this task, but I’ll admit despite the hardships I feel good being authentic to myself and I rejoice in the opportunity to inspire and help those in similar situations. I can no longer deny these promptings from the Holy Ghost, and I’ll be honest my patriarchal blessing even alludes to what I’m doing now. I have to learn to set aside my fear, my doubts, and my pride. For my own well being, for those I may support in their spiritual journeys, and for the glory of God I can no longer stay in this limbo state of wondering where I stand with God.

I’m going to choose to trust Him instead of a church or the opinions of men.

No more hiding my identity to my friends of the faith, and no more hiding my faith from my friends who know my identity. I have to do this. Thank you Lord, for being patient and compassionate enough to continually remind me of what I can’t seem to accept, yet so desperately want to know.

Pulling an all nighter to leave my house at 3am so that I can drive 4 hours to the nearest temple because I desperately need to sit in the celestial room again and have God remind me I don’t need to be cis to be loved 👉👉

[golbrocklovely]

i’m pretty sure brennen is homophobic

he posted on his story when he was at a bar(i think it was a bar) and said something along the lines of “definitely not ordering bud light” and bud light is getting a bunch of backlash from homophobes because the brand supports lgbtq people

i don't really pay attention to brennen anymore bc he just annoys me, and plus i don't like him, so i never really catch what he does now.

if he did this, he's transphobic as hell.

imma step onto my little soap box for just a quick second.

the ppl that legitimately are upset at bud light for supporting dylan mulvaney are absolutely some of the dumbest ppl that exist in the US. not only does anheuser busch own most beers, so even trying to boycott them is pointless, bud light only made ONE SINGLE CAN for dylan. and that was it. it wasn't a nationwide campaign, it was a single can made for her that she showed on her story. but bc the right has nothing else to focus on, bc god forbid they try to come up with policy that would actually benefit americans or even their base at all, they would rather hyperfocus on cancelling brands bc…. they aren't hateful enough. or trying to get rid of trans ppl, or drag queens. bc now they want to go back to the good ol days of assuming anyone that's gay is a pedo - when if we're being fucking honest, the real pedos are the priest and pastors in church that constantly get caught literally abusing children but then get moved around and hidden so that the church doesn't seem bad… until years later when it finally comes out that 100s of kids were abused. but you know, no. it's actually trans ppl and drag queens that are the problem.

and this is something else i've wanted to say for a while as well.

both big nik and now brennen, assuming he actually said what you say he did (it's not that i don't believe you, i just haven't seen it myself) have A LOT of fucking nerve to even remotely be homophobic. the amount of gay shit they used to do, WITH COLBY INVOLVED, only now to try and pretend that they would never stoop to that level. bro… you were pretending to be gay for views, which is pretty fucking gay if you ask me. you clickbaited titles for YEARS, but the millisecond it didn't benefit you anymore… you pretend to not like gay ppl? i mean, you probably never liked gay ppl in the first place, but this hypocrisy is fucking hysterical to me in the worse way.

nik and brennen shouldn't worry for even a moment about gay ppl fucking with them in any capacity. first and foremost, no one fucking likes yall. no one enjoys your company and you have never been a light to be around. the only reason you were relevant after vine died was bc of colby, let's bffr. and if your personality wasn't enough of deterrence, you're both ugly. no amount of god loving or having abs will fix the fucked up that you are.

and knowing how dumb both brennen and his fans are, if any of yall try to say "omg he was just joking, yall can't take a joke"... i need you to deeply understand on a fundamental level neither you or brennen are funny. you have never been funny. no one has ever genuinely laughed at anything you have ever said. and until you become a better person, this will remain the truth.

and i cannot wait until colby finally opens his fucking eyes and cuts brennen lose, bc the moment he does, he's done.

[nerdygaymormon]

I talked with my mother in law about disagreeing with the august policy and she kept faily neutral and said God made that policy and His children make the choice to stray from Him. While i believe the policy was inspired i dont believe it came from His mouth. I don't understand how transitioning is straying, it feels like a morally neutral act. How can God ask someone to sacrifice their emotional and mental well being to keep their good standing with Him? It feels backwards and manipulative if I'm being honest. Obedience is good but not if it comes at the cost of being miserable. I'm angry at the church as an institution and I believe it's failing it's queer and trans siblings. I suppose I do disagree with God.

You ask some really good questions. I want to add a few more for you to consider.

Are scriptures the "word of God" and does God actually speak these things to a human who hears it and writes it down precisely as God said it, or are these human interpretations of what they believe is God's will?

Is this policy leading people to be more loving and to do good to their neighbor?

Why would God make people gay or trans and then forbid them from being gay or trans?

The Book of Mormon teaches we're meant to have joy in life, then why does the LDS Church have policies to deny joy to queer people? Why are they singled out to be miserable for God?

If gender affirming care for trans people is "straying" from God, why is gender affirming care for cis people not? The medical procedures that trans people use were all originally developed for cis people. People get breast augmentations, hysterectomies, nose jobs, tummy tucks, face lifts, pec implants, lip filler, bbl's, hormone injections, puberty blockers, growth hormones, and on and on.

At the last General Conference, Elder Oaks put forth a unique idea about temporary and permanent commandments. I think it's his way of getting around the idea that church leaders in the past were wrong, but it brings up interesting questions, if this is temporary then am I required to obey even if I don't agree? If this is temporary, will I be punished in heaven after it is no longer in effect?

We're taught in Matthew 7 that “a good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.” If a policy is bringing forth bad results for a whole group of people, is it a 'good' policy?

Is it a coincidence that this step backwards with the August policy seems related to the bathroom bills and other anti-trans legislation that's recently been passed? If this is actually God's will then how come we didn't know it in 2020 when the last big revision to church policies regarding trans people was implemented?

What if a trans person feels they are inspired to pursue transitioning, should the church be punishing them for following where God is guiding them?

Does this policy sound like it's from a loving God?

That’s enough questions. I want to end with 3 points.

The August policy is just that, a policy, not a commandment or revelation or scripture. Policies are temporary and can be changed. A great example is the 2015 policy of exclusion regarding gay people, which was reversed less than 5 years later in 2019. How much better if it the 2015 policy had never been introduced and all that hurt had been avoided.

You're not disagreeing with God, you're disagreeing with whomever wrote and approved the latest policies.

People have a conscience, what the church calls the light of Christ, which influences people for good. If things being said by a church leader bother your conscience, pay attention to that.

[alyss-not-cis]

My Oppression as a Pansexual

Hi there! My name is Alyss, I'm a bigender pansexual, and I'm a Christian.

Being a Christian, my family is extremely conservative. Like, Ben Shapiro conservative.

I was adopted when I was 10, and started homeschooling in a Christian community when I was 11 because I was being bullied in my public school. During that time, I was undergoing a lot of depression and guilt because I realized I started liking girls (this was before I identified as bigender).

In our community, homosexual acts and feelings are considered demonic, as well as mental health issues. I was struggling with both, and became overwhelmingly suicidal because of that guilt. I attempted suicide twice at the age of 11 and my parents never did anything to help me. I was terrified of coming out to them about my feelings towards other girls, so only tried to talk to them about my mental health. They believed that there was a spiritual problem with me, and instead of taking me to a therapist or looking more into the problem, they had family pray over me.

I felt like the black sheep of the family, and stayed in the closet battling my sexuality for years after. Then, when I was 14, I accepted my sexuality as bisexual. I had a few flings with both men and women in the Christian community, and tried to help as many people in the LGBTQ+ Christian community as possible because I had also endured their feelings. Then, at the age of 15, I started my sophmore year in a Christian highschool.

In this highschool, you don't celebrate Halloween, you can't show your knees or shoulders, baseball caps are a sin, etc. I had found a group of LGBTQ+ allys and members in the school and we became amazing friends until my senior year. I had switched my label to pansexual because I had a small relationship with a nonbinary on Instagram (who is still one of the nicest people I have ever met), and had a few fellow bigender partners. By this time, I was at the beginning of my senior year and a lot of people in the school knew I was pansexual.

The school had a VERY strict rule against LGBTQ+ to where you weren't even allowed to talk about it without receiving academic probation. The second quarter of that year, I had a failing grade in Chemistry, so my mother and I were called into a meeting with the school's director and my chemistry teacher. I had already been through this process before, but I had a terrible amount of disrespect for this chemistry teacher. Not only did she make the class about politics (not chemistry, which is what we were PAYING for), but she made extremely offensive comments about the LGBTQ+ community in the class (I was the only student in the class who wasn't straight, and almost everyone in that class knew except for her).

During the meeting, the director had decided to bring up a couple of complaints she had heard about me. One was the fact that I came to school in a onesie (it had footies that were against school policy), and I had worn "dark" make up. Then the last was that I was claiming I was pansexual.

I thought my heart had stopped, and my face went pale. Neither of my parents knew I was pansexual, and now I was being outed at my school in front of my mother and homophobic chemistry teacher.

The next half hour was spent listening to lectures about how I was giving a bad influence to the younger, more impressionable kids at the school and that I needed to seek help. My mom tried to defend me, saying "Well, I'm sure she didn't mean what she said. Right?" And she looked at me. I said no. I meant what I said, and you know what? I was proud of it.

I had to sign an agreement saying I was on academic probation for breaking the rules for the next coming quarter. I was crying my eyes out the whole day, sobbing my eyes out in front of anybody and everybody (making my one-on-one tutoring session VERY uncomfortable for my pre-calc teacher). My parents had now found out I was pansexual.

That night, I had sent out a text to my group of friends about what had happened, trying to seek comfort. They were incredibly supportive, yet very hostile towards the director. I had laughed it off as a joke, and sent a text saying "Put the snitch in a ditch." A very immature comment, and I do agree that I shouldn't have said that.

The next morning, my mother had received a phone call from a detective saying I was under investigation for death threats against the director. I was immediately expelled breaking the probation by saying I was pansexual. All of my friends in that group chat were also expelled and under investigation.

I'm now not allowed to speak to any of them, and was forced to tell my parents I was straight because I was about to be kicked out. I'm now paying for my own education to complete my senior year and have lost connection to almost every person I was once friends with.

My point here is; being a part of LGBTQ+ in a Christian community as a minor is terrifying. I'd heard of many coming out horror stories from people I was close to, and hated seeing them suffering like I did.

I do consider myself a Christian, but you can be a Christian and not be this hateful.

The Bible says "You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others?" Matthew 5:43-48.

Even if we, as members of LGBTQ+, are enemies to these conservative extremists, this behavior is unbiblical. The comment I made in the group chat was hateful, and I repent of my actions. I never should have said that, and I have learned from my mistakes. With that being said, it doesn't excuse the efforts of this school. I still love the people there, and am willing to treat them with respect, but I am not going to ignore discrimination.

My parents have even more oppressive. Whenever I'm around, they throw slurs at homosexuals on T.V., and they make fun of me openly behind my back in front of my younger brothers. They even accidentally sent a message in a group chat that I was in, making fun of the fact that I supported trans rights. And when they found out I could see those messages, they said they were entitled to what they said because it's "unnatural" and my feelings didn't matter.

This past week has been the worst so far with their homophobic and transphobic comments, it's gotten to the point where I can't even wear a hat backwards without my mom breaking down.

With that, I wanted to make this post as a safe space for anyone in a similar place and say that you're not alone. You are valid, you are not "filled with demons", and you are beautiful. I know that pain you're feeling, and I'm offering to help comfort and support you. God LOVES you, no matter what any Church Karen says.

Even if you don't believe in God, you're valid and safe here. You don't need to harbor any guilt for who you are, and you are gonna come out of this a strong, admirable warrior. I love you all, and remember to love yourself too.

Thank you for reading this, and remember to stay safe,

-Alyss

[rotationalsymmetry]

Hello! I hope you’re doing well. I saw your post about UUs and I myself am one as well! I was wondering if maybe you could explain some of the issues there are in UU congregations so I can better understand what’s going on. I can’t change much, but I’d like to know what can be improved and how I can better use my privilege. Thank you :)

Hi there. Thanks for reaching out. I think. Oof. Are you sure you want to ask this? I don’t have a really straightforward “here’s precisely what Unitarian Universalism needs to do to improve (broken down into concrete, realistic steps!)” I have a whole tangle of feelings and personal biases and incredibly subjective experiences. OK? All right. With that disclaimer out of the way. Eh, actually, more disclaimer: all institutions have problems. There are things that Unitarian Universalism does better than most other religious institutions. There’s a reason I was going off about what I like about UU before what I dislike. This is not saying that Unitarian Universalism is bad. OK?

Putting in a cut because this is long:

Unitarian Universalism has an ongoing, well-known problem around being kind of fuzzy around what it is and what it wants to be. Do we draw on multiple faiths, and if so what does that look like in practice? Are we Christianity lite? Are we basically a bunch of secular humanists who like to get together and sing sometimes? How far exactly does (or should) our tolerance stretch?

Unitarian Universalism has a whiteness issue and a class issue. Now, I’m white, so the race part isn’t mainly coming from my own experience. There’s something I’ve seen that sums it up well, but I can’t find it right now. Basically: there’s a bit of a tendency for UU’s to nominally want to more diverse congregations, but when a new person of color shows up, sometimes they get treated kind of...weirdly. Like they’re not one of us and not going to be.

a bit more on UU and race here: x

And, class wise, I was raised middle class, but I’ve been broke for an awful lot of my adulthood and a lot of the people I know in my generation (Millenials) are broke/struggling financially. So when the lead minister of my congregation made some random comment about having trouble attracting young people because church and brunch with friends are competing for the same time slot. I thought of a young adult in the congregation who was active in the youth group but couldn’t make it to Sunday worship because he had to work on Sundays. And the time one of my coworkers got a promotion at my workplace, and definitely she was competent and I don’t begrudge her getting it, but also she ended up working an awful lot of Sundays and that was very likely a factor in her getting the promotion. And I’d been trying to avoid pledge drive Sunday for years because it always, every time, made me feel like I wasn’t really welcome if I couldn’t contribute much financially, even when I was contributing a great deal of my time. This is subjective and it could mostly be an issue with my then congregation. But I don’t think it is.

While Unitarian Universalism likes to think of itself as trans friendly, and it’s certainly much friendlier than some denominations, sometimes it drops the ball. Here’s an apology for an article about trans people that centered a cis person’s perspective and had some other issues: x

Anecdotally, subjectively, etc: this is an issue across the board. Unitarian Universalism’ self-image and what the organization actually is has a substantial gap. I attended a few workshops at GA this year, and: on the surface, great! So many workshops on such great anti-oppressive topics! But...when I actually went to the workshops, it was unsatisfying. It felt very introduction-ish. Maybe that was on purpose. But...I was hoping for better. 

Super anecdotally: UU’s tend to forget that disabled people exist. UU’s tend to not support disabled people and parents of disabled children.

Back to the “are we Christianity Lite?” thing. I dropped out of seminary. One part of thatwas this: x  Another was that at the time (it’s apparently since changed) the MFC requirements (uh, this is getting a bit technical: congregations ordain ministers, but in practice fellowshipping is important as well, and that’s what the MFC does, basically it’s saying other UU ministers think you should be a UU minsiter) prioritized knowledge about Christianity and the Bible over knowledge of other religions, even though nominally Unitarian Universalism is not Christian and Christianity isn’t especially prioritized in our Six Sources. As someone who is not Christian and didn’t expect my future ministry to involve a lot of Bible talk and really didn’t think prioritizing knowledge of the Bible among our religious leaders was good for the denomination as a whole, this bothered me. A lot. (For what it’s worth, most Starr King classes were actually really good at not doing this.) (The classes that did, though, made me want to tear my hair out. And made me wonder if this denomination I was studying to be a minister in, was the same as the denomination I’d participated in as a lay person for years.)

This is hard to put into words. But: sometimes people will say they believe a thing, but their follow-through is bad. Or they say one thing but act another way -- not because they’re lying, but because what they believe on the surface hasn’t been fully internalized. This is, anecdotally etc, a really common issue in Unitarian Universalism.

More super anecdotal etc: UU’s need to break the habit of seeing RE as daycare, and worship services that involve kids as being about showing off the kids to the adults. I took a quick look at you and it says you’re 18, so if you grew up UU you probably have your own opinions on this. But...sometimes the adult congregation and the kids’/youth programs are entirely separate worlds, and that’s not healthy for congregations.

YMMV: I’m not a huge fan of approaches to worship that involve sitting passively for most of the service. If the worship is going to be the same whether you’re there or not, why bother showing up? (Obviously some congregations are more like this than others, and apparently some people like the “lecture and a concert” format?? I’m not one of them.)

Basically, I think UU’s need to work on connection more and mutual support of each other more. While I approve of the social justice focus of course, social justice starts at home. You need to support the people who are actually in your congregation. I moved a year and a half ago, and haven’t joined my local congregation. Why? Because my illness makes it almost impossible to go anywhere in the mornings, and while they livestreamed each worship service, before the pandemic (presumably it’s all zoom worship now), there was zero effort to actually include anyone watching the livestream. Not so much as a PDF of the order of service. No verbal acknowledgement that some people aren’t present in the room. Nothing. (Side note: I tried one worship service at a “normal” congregation after the pandemic started, and all the mourning of not being able to be together in person was extremely frustrating to me, since I hadn’t been able to attend in person worship before the pandemic either. No one was thinking of people like me, and it was really, really obvious. I’ve since joined Church of the Larger Fellowship.) You say you want to use your privilege. That’s great! Some thoughts.

Trans people: How’s your congregation on pronouns? If your congregation uses nametags, can you push to normalize people putting their pronouns on nametags? What’s the bathroom situation: is it clear that trans women (whether you currently have any trans women in your congregation or not) can use the women’s bathroom? Is there a unisex bathroom that non-binary people and binary people who don’t feel safe using “their” bathroom can use? Also: a lot of older people weren’t raised with this and never really caught up, (and tbf some young people are ignorant too) so there’s a need for some trans 101 education.

Disability: for zoom worship, is there closed captioning for people who have hearing impairments or language processing issues? For live worship, what’s being done to make sure deaf and hard of hearing people are included? What’s being done for blind people (eg, electronic copies of the order of service being available for people who are blind but have screen readers?) For people who just have a little trouble seeing, are there large-print orders of service? What about the agendas for committee meetings and so on? This doesn’t have a quick fix, but are there places in your congregation that can’t be reached in a wheelchair? What about the chancel? (ie that area that the minister and whoever else is leading worship is speaking from?) Is there a wheelchair-accessible entrance that’s open during worship but closed during other programming?

How’s ministry to people who are sick or injured or just too old to get out much? And: is that support available to newer or prospective members, or only people who contributed to the congregation first? How available is information on how to get that kind of support: is it a thing where only some people are in the know, or is there outreach?

Are there unspoken rules about who’s the “right kind” of person to be in the congregation and who isn’t?

Sexual harassment, abuse, etc: is there a clear way to report sexual harassment? Does everyone know what it is? Does the congregation have a policy for what happens if a congregant is accused of sexual abuse? If a minister is? What's the congregation’s child abuse prevention policy? Do the people who work/volunteer with kids know what to do if a child or teen reports abuse to them? Are they screened in any way?

What accommodations does RE make for special needs children? If a child needs one on one assistance, does the RE program force the parent to provide that assistance if the child is to be part of the program?

What’s the policy on support animals? (these days: what’s the policy on emotional support animals?) How are the needs of people with allergies or other issues with dogs etc, balanced with the needs of people who benefit from support animals? (This can be tricky, I’m not saying there’s a clear right/wrong here, but it’s something that can make a congregation inaccessible.)

I don’t know the details on this, but I know sensory issues can be a problem for some people, eg flickering overhead lights. Scents can be an issue for some people, one possible solution is to have part of the sanctuary marked scent-free, dunno how well that plays out in practice.)

Representation: who’s speaking up during worship, and what are they speaking about? Something to be aware of.

Us/Them language: especially relevant if you’re speaking to the congregation during worship, but important in casual coffee hour chat too: who’s “us” and who’s “them”? Do people in your congregation tend to talk about, say, people below the poverty line as “them”? Homeless people? Black people? Immigrants?

Finding ways of making small talk that aren’t “what do you do for a living?”

I haven’t said anything about racism yet; a lot of congregations have some sort of anti-racist discussion group or something? Those things are good; there’s only so much they do by themselves, but as part of a larger whole, they’re important. Also, presence at Black Lives Matter protests, putting up a Black Lives Matter banner or sign if your congregation hasn’t done that, stuff like that.

Oh, culture and music and stuff. What kind of music gets played. Congregations that have made a specific attempt to be multiracial often find it’s necessary to do a lot of hashing out of what the music is going to be like.

And there’s a representation aspect to who gets quoted.

Small Group Ministry/Covenant groups: my former congregation liked to ask what your demographic info is and then split things up for “diversity” purposes. This is actually a really bad idea. In a congregation that’s mostly white, it means that often the non-white people end up being the only non-white person in their groups. Great for white people who want to “experience diversity”, but not so great for actual poc. My congregation had enough queer people that it wasn’t one queer person per group, but I could see that maybe happening in other places. And I think it did tend to separate out trans people into separate groups.

Cultural appropriation/cultural misappropriation: uff. I think some people go off the deep end on this. But, some things to consider. If the congregation is doing something to celebrate a Jewish holiday, is it run by someone who is Jewish or is of Jewish heritage? Stuff like that. Sometimes Unitarian Universalists’ desire to be all multicultural and interfaith and stuff, leaves out important things like “is this part of the culture that it’s ok for outsiders to share?” and “are we actually in relationship with this group of people?” And “are we cherry picking messages from sacred texts that we like, and leaving out the stuff we don’t like, when it’s not our sacred text and we don’t have enough context to do that respectfully?” x for overview and in more detail x

Also RE: is this Native American story one that it’s actually OK for us to tell? I’m not necessarily suggesting you go over what other people are doing, but if you’re teaching RE yourself, you get a say in what you teach.

If you happen to be a UU pagan or there’s a CUUPS group at your congregation that you sometimes participate in, there’s kind of a ton of work about untangling cultural appropriation in specifically pagan spaces, honestly I don’t know where to start with that. Don’t put that on yourself if you’re not part of that kind of group though, focus on groups you are part of.

Land acknowledgements.

Oftentimes if someone brings up an issue that requires work to change it, especially a younger person, the people who get stuff done are going to be, “ok, that sounds like work, we’ve already got a ton on our plate so are you going to do it?” So, if you offer to do some of the work of running the congregation, you’ll be in a better place to implement these sorts of changes. (I know a lot of times older adults don’t want to trust young adults with responsibility, so it might take some time to earn trust.) But also some are things you can just do: like you can say your pronouns every time you introduce yourself or put your pronouns on disposable nametags, if you’re comfortable with it.

General advice: you don’t have to (and shouldn’t try to) change everything at once. Be aware of a lot of things and be willing to be a “follower” on a lot of things. Signing petitions, saying “yes, that sounds like a good idea,” stuff like that. Be a leader on a small, manageable number of things. Maybe see what other people in your congregation are already doing that seems like a step in the right direction, and see how you can support that. Some of what UU’s are already doing is already really good, and most likely there’s already people around you who want Unitarian Universalism to act in closer alignment with its ideals.

[nottskyler]

Dear President Nelson,

I appreciate your candid remarks relating to LGBT topics and revelation in your recent devotional at BYU. One of the greatest things I admire with the time since you have taken over in leading Christ’s restored Church is how you step back and recognize that revelation, specifically personal revelation, is vital to us and our time. I really appreciate your invitation to pray and know whether or not you are right in saying that marriage is only between a man and a woman, but I am not getting the same answer as you.

I have been a faithful member of the Church all my life. I read the Book of Mormon and pray every day. I do my best to follow the counsel of prophets and be exactly obedient. I used to strongly support the Church’s stance against homosexuality and the unspoken but generally agreed upon belief that your eternal gender is the one assigned at birth, even though it hurt my ability to be myself because I fall in both categories. I had great faith that the prophets could not be wrong in this regard.

Ironically, it was only in following your counsel last October in the Woman’s session of General Conference that my belief that gay marriage is wrong was challenged. As I began this study, I got to know a gay man who told me his story and how long he prayed and fasted and pleaded and even sent himself to conversion therapy to not be the way he was. I eventually found parallels with myself and gender and my denying that I was bi.  As I read the Book of Mormon, I felt strongly that I was a male spirit sent in a female body. My previous notion led me to believe that even if being trans were a real thing, the right thing to do was to live as the gender assigned at birth and things would be made right in the Millenium. By the end of my read-through, Gd made it abundantly clear that I was wrong. I was a man and it was time I lived accordingly so I could do what Gd wanted me to do.

In this time of change, realizing that my attempt to obey with exactness had led me, a man, to be sealed to another man. I had faith that everything would be made right, but it led me to pray and wonder that if my happy relationship was a man and a man how could it be something evil for others. I came to learn that gay marriage is not evil. In fact, I learned quite the opposite. I learned that policies in the Church barring faithful members membership or temple attendance because they married someone of the same gender is evil. I started evaluating the fruits and found love and goodness in the LGBT community and hatred and people being driven away from Christ because the Church teaches that Christ did not make a place for them. I know now that gays are just as welcome in the highest degree of the celestial glory as any straight individual as long as they keep the same laws and ordinances, including the new and everlasting covenant of marriage to a person they love regardless of gender.

I know you are a prophet and that part of your responsibility is to reveal the true nature of Gd. Gd is not a respecter of persons, He loves and made us all with all our forms of diversity, including LGBT diversity. LGBT people know that and feel that love if they still believe in Gd from all the hate they receive in the name of Gd. A Gd who says that some of His children can marry and have joy in this life and that others must abstain even though they are capable of forming the same kind of positive relationship is a partial Gd. A Gd who says that medical treatment is okay as long as it isn’t in treatment of a specific mental illness is a partial Gd. A Gd who tells His leaders to ignore and disrespect the feelings and experiences of an individual in regards to their eternal gender that they learned from the spirit is a hateful Gd. Sometimes it is hard to acknowledge truth if it comes from someone you are not used to hearing truth from, but Gd is no respecter of persons when it comes to revealing truth and sharing His love. 

I hope you will listen to the testimony of the LGBT people about Gd’s love for them and that they are not broken for seeking to be made whole and happy in this life. Adam fell that men might be and men are that they may have joy. That joy was not meant to only be experienced by certain demographics of the Church. In fact, without that joy, I am unable to perform Gd’s work. I have prayed and taken on the challenge to know the truth that marriage between a man and a man can be as wholesome and blessed as a marriage between a man and a woman or a woman and a woman. I know it in the same way that I know the Book of Mormon to be true. Gd knows and loves me and wants me to be the best me to love and serve those around me because there is no other way to learn to be like Him so when I meet Him I will be even as He is, which was His goal in creating the plan of salvation.

-Skyler

[nerdygaymormon]

Hello! Do you mind providing me a link to the most current version of the handbook and just noting which sections have the changes about trans policies? I'm having trouble finding it to show my dad.

Some of the changes people are talking about are contained in a supplement to the Handbook, this is the first time such a "supplement" has been issued containing specific rules. It includes rules limiting a trans person to only attending meetings & activities which align with their gender assigned at birth, forbids trans youth and young single adults from overnight activities, restricts trans members from almost all callings, and has specific rules about under what circumstances a trans person may use the restroom.

As for the Handbook itself, right at the very beginning of the Handbook is a page summarizing the recent changes. However, the amount of changes regarding trans members is so extensive they didn't give a summary, they simply provided links to the sections which were changed.

This makes it difficult to know what was changed unless you were familiar with what was there before. Here's a link to the Handbook as it existed in April 2022

For starters, the Handbook section 38.6.23 used to be called "Transgender Individuals" and now it says "Individuals Who Identify as Transgender." The section also says "members who feel their inner sense of gender does not align with their biological sex at birth" instead of "transgender person."

The Handbook used to say: "Most Church participation and some priesthood ordinances are gender neutral. Transgender persons may be baptized and confirmed as outlined in 38.2.3.14. They may also partake of the sacrament and receive priesthood blessings. However, priesthood ordination and temple ordinances are received according to birth sex."

Now it says, "The ordinances of salvation and exaltation are received according to a person’s biological sex at birth." It also suggests that the ways a trans person can participate in the church is by family history and service to others.

The Handbook used to say "A transgender person may be baptized and confirmed if he or she is not pursuing elective medical or surgical intervention to attempt to transition to the opposite of his or her biological sex at birth (“sex reassignment”)."

Now it says, "Baptism and confirmation are received according to a person’s biological sex at birth. Worthy individuals who do not pursue surgical, medical, or social transition away from their biological sex at birth may be baptized and confirmed."

It used to say, "Some children, youth, and adults are prescribed hormone therapy by a licensed medical professional to ease gender dysphoria or reduce suicidal thoughts. Before a person begins such therapy, it is important that he or she (and the parents of a minor) understands the potential risks and benefits. If these members are not attempting to transition to the opposite gender and are worthy, they may receive Church callings, temple recommends, and temple ordinances.

Now this carve out for someone to receive hormone therapy under medical supervision for their mental well being and still be considered worthy has been eliminated.

————————————————

The Handbook says "These individuals often face complex challenges. They—and their family and friends—should be treated with sensitivity, kindness, compassion, and Christlike love. All are children of God and have divine worth." Do these changes seem like they're sensitive, kind, compassionate and full of love?

What they've actually done is indirectly say there is no such thing as a transgender person and anyone who feels they are needs to repent. Basically, we don't want you around our children, we don't trust you to even go to the bathroom, if you feel like we don't want you here, please know we're telling you this "with love and respect."

In the October 2020 General Conference, President Nelson delivered a talk titled "Let God Prevail" in which he said, "Today I call upon our members everywhere to lead out in abandoning attitudes and actions of prejudice. I plead with you to promote respect for all of God’s children." I wish the church truly strove to follow this admonition.

[wodenscild]

HOLD UP I JUST RE-READ SOME OF THE CONVERSATIONS WE HAD AND THING ABOUT WORK POLICY AND NOT BEING ALLOWED TO DYE YOUR HAIR GREEN

I mean I wouldn't do it if i were you cause green hair turns like barf yellow if exposed to too much sunlight- But the fact you aren't allowed to??

So since you have brought me back on the topic of dyed hair i will now talk about it cause well why not.

Every hair color has a weakness! Like elements in a video game! Greens weakness is sunlight (turns ugly yellow if exposed too much), purple = water (turns green??) And for other colours i dont know but i will look it up later!

Back to meanies cause my brain wants to tell people that actually take me serious about how shitty humans can be

So haha yeah remember i said that people don't bully about LGBTQIA? Yeah but trans, poly, Omni, neogender/neopronouns are an exception

Also people tend to go for clothing style, like i get called "emo" by strangers cause i have a black leather jacket. Like what?? Also the word homo (gay in dutch) is a taught curseword and often used as a insult. Even tho people say it's "a joke" also any art is greatly discouraged by the students (the teachers find it awesome)

I don't really have friends at my school but ehh i don't need them anyway, i have friends on a different school and i might even transfer to that school in two years or so. But here's why i didn't go to that school in the first place

So there's a lot of levels of difficulty in schools here, and gymnasium is the hardest, after that VWO then havo (Wich I'm doing) and that school is a gymnasium and they teach latin and Greek there and you can't choose to not do that until year 3 Wich uhh i struggle with languages a lot so no thanks. But also you can do exams in 7 different languages (Spanish, english, french, latin, Greek, deutsch and dutch) there wich isn't standards, also you can graduate in art, music and acting wich also isn't standard, i think you would like the languages since you are rlly good with them- Words hard for me :( that school also has about 3000 people that's the same amount as the people in my village- I'm now at a school with about 700 people Wich is less overwhelming :D

AND SOMEONE PLEASE SHUT THAT CLOCK AT CHURCH UP IT HAS BEEN RINGING FOR 10 MINUTES ALREADY HHHHHGG IM GETTING A HEADACHE

Oh yeah almost everyone is Christian in my village- also sorry for ranting i needed to get that off my chest- am feeling much better :D have a nice timezone (also you don't have to read the whole thing... It's just me complaining) Yeah i should walk my dog bye

-Mystery anon 1

Oh of course never apologise about ranting dear heart ^~^ by the by if you ever need to rant but don’t want the ask posted to my blog, just say so :D I have also gotten around to FINALLY tagging personal weas as #wodensasks so they are much easier to find-

BUT YEAH- I think that is the other reason why I didn’t go for green is cos of the Sun- my slice of the world is like- EXTREMELY SUNNY for no reason & Highkey is transphobic so I can’t do my hair whatever colour I like úwù currently I have black hair, but have kept the ends blonde cos I think that is sexy (before black, my hair was bleached a few months back so it was a whitish yellow & gods was it sexy)- naturally I am brown but :] so before I went to black my roots had a split tone of blonde & brown!

As seen above 😌

& gods yeah transphobia & genderqueerness are just- strangely targeted?? I have no idea why but gods does it string when someone attacks you on the basis of that :// my sibling had to leave school Cos of the bullying it was that bad. Now they study online like I do SKFKDKSK

I hope you do find friends but :] they aren’t by any means a necessity, but they are nice to have around! I know I certainly miss my lil group- even though in real life I am a massive introvert XD Was a massive introvert? Idk I feel like my boundaries has grown less & less over the year- maybe I ought to go out to a cafe some time & talk to people UwU

& Oof :(( yeah languages definitely aren’t for everyone. I think the only reason that I am so confident with Spanish despite studying for only a few months is just cos I have friends to use it with! I don’t study it with my university yet (I am considering it next year- but I would honestly be too OP in it DKFKSKFKS I also want to do Chinese cos it is just such a neat language :] & it’ll give me an excuse to study mongol xhel again!) Small schools are great but! My highschool was only like… 1,500 students? All my units at uni are pretty small too! Only like 50 students are doing sociology too (my teacher says this is cos no one really values skills of thinking differently & criticising sociedad. But oh well~~)

& mood- we have Christians in every nook 😔 I am considering wearing a spearhead to work cos while jewellery is not permitted, culturally significant jewellery is! So I could say that it is a symbol of Wōden that I wear- & due to anti-discrimination laws they can’t do anything about it >:3 afterall why do THEY get to wear their crosses & I don’t get my obsidian on twine o_o JDKDKAKD