#this is about him solely him with stacy with cuddy with wilson

[thankstothe]

[8igiron]

an ode to the end.

on one hand, house was rightous in his anger. he felt the most steadfast person who had ever entered his life was now choosing to leave, which was a reoccurring theme for every other relationships in his life (his father, stacy, cuddy, etc). wilson was supposed to be the exception, but he was actively choosing less time with house. and that hurt house beyond anything else that had happened to him before. of course he wanted wilson to stay, to choose the rougher path. he'd be in pain, and it would suck, but they would be together. there was a chance for MORE. and house was angry that wilson was choosing no treatment. he felt it was the weaker option. house screams "life is pain! I wake up everyday and im in pain!" he kicks and claws and bats at the notion that life isnt worth living just because it's hard. and then he scrapes "do you know how many times i've thought about ending it?" house has faught this battle, fights it everyday. but "how many times have i wanted to be left alone, and you [wilson] made yourself a nuisance?" house stuck around because of wilson. perhaps not solely, but he was definitely a significant part. so house demanding, conning, pleading, begging for wilson to fight - to stay, just a little longer - only makes sense. house doesn't understand why he isn't worth sticking around for to wilson.

on the other hand, wilson's whole life has been lived in by others. most every decision he has made has been for someone else. when things go wrong he blames himself. he blames himself for danny's disappearance, for amber's death, for house's behavior and the severity of his addiction. he blames himself for the loss of every single one of his patients, and he memorializes that sorrow and regret in his office, directly in sight so he can never forget. but then he's diagnosed, and he cant make sense of it. "why me?" he bitters. "i wish i'd been more like you [house] so then i'd feel like i deserve it." and it sucks! "Of course i dont wanna die!" but now wilson has one final choice. he can be passive in his life once more, waiting patiently until the train reaches its final stop, or he can assume what he claims is dignity. he can stand on his own two feet, making a choice thats about him, and him alone. it is in this last act of his life that wilson is finally able to say "i did something for ME." how cruel for his most personal decision to be his doom. how beautiful for that decision to be his most consequential one.

so, really, they are both right. like always, one will bow, the other will break. this time, though, house yields. there's a clock looming over them now. "how do we start?" they’ve got one more chance to get them right. (i sure hope nothing bad happens immediately after this that would keep them from being together)

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ANYWAY edit! been slightly more active in regards to posting my own stuff on here in the last few days and I figured I’d continue. Lmk if you wanna be house mutuals! I’d love to talk!! I edit, draw, and write, but I mostly just like to scream about them 😔💔

[madqueenalanna]

the thing about house and wilson is that like. even if you don't read their relationship as having any romantic interest whatsoever, they have an undeniable intimacy that's just actually crazy. incomplete list of things they've done for each other:

wilson resigned rather than vote to fire house

wilson left his wife home alone on christmas to stay at the hospital w house

house took multiple cases in s1 alone based solely on wilson asking him to take them, despite doing everything he can to avoid cases from cuddy or the clinic

wilson left his wife home alone with company to sit at a bar and listen to house complain about stacy's husband

wilson and house have both sat at each other's bedside when they were hospitalized

house babysat wilson's ex-wife's dog even after it kept destroying his apartment

wilson lied to the police repeatedly to keep house from going to prison, including covering up that house stole his prescription pad

house almost killed himself od'ing on alzheimer's meds in an attempt to recover his memories before amber died

house presented wilson's paper on euthanasia so that the message could get out but wilson's career wouldn't be ruined, and also added covertly that wilson has never given any less than his best

wilson stole cuddy's dream apartment out from under her bc she broke house's heart

house nurses wilson alone in his apartment when wilson gives himself double chemo ama, even cleaning him up

house uses some of his dwindling supply of vicodin– house, the addict in chronic pain– to give to wilson, who he believes needs it more

house gives up medicine entirely to fake his own death to spent wilson's last 5 months together

"if you die, i'm alone"

"wilson is not a consolation prize"

"i need you to tell me that you love me"

[reservoirreputation]

Some thoughts on House S1

House was one of the first shows I really got into. Even from a young age, I had a soft spot for the comedic relief character that has a tragic backstory and doesn't want to let people get close for fear of being hurt again. Always a banger, rarely misses.

I was also waaaaaay too young to be watching, but watch it, I did. It was probably in its fourth season when I got into it? So, about 2009? Maybe 2008. So, I would've been around 10. That's some formative entertainment, right there.

I don't recall watching the show after it ended, so, this recent rewatch for the past week is the first time I've touched it since 2012. Really, I gave into temptation after seeing for the dozenth time tumblr's continued enthusiasm for it.

So, Season One.

I could recall the general plots of most of the episodes, sometimes could remember how some ended, sometimes just vaguely familiar. Considering how long it's been, it's still impressive how much has stuck with me.

God, I remember when I used to think Hugh Laurie was American. It's so funny growing up with Britcoms, not realizing that's him in stuff like Blackadder. I've always found Foreman's name funny because it's literally the same as Eric Foreman from That 70s Show.

I've always enjoyed the original team's dynamic: Foreman butting heads with House constantly, but only because they're so alike. Cameron wearing her heart on her sleeve, but also not afraid to try new things (the episode where she tries to persuade her coworkers by using their first names, and the way it works). Chase being so laid back, but he can get really opinionated at times, though, and adds nice conflict and contrast with the other two.

Cuddy and Wilson help balance out House's personality and antics so well. It's also interesting watching Wilson's more passive development, where we only get occasional updates. Like how he's at first happily, though strained, married, and then he's having casual lunch with one of the nurses, insisting that's all it is, and then spending time with House instead of his wife because his buddy needs the company and she's used to him being away. Then by the end of the season, his relationship is in the toilet.

With Cuddy, it's so hard to concentrate, because she's so damn pretty. The costuming department, wherever you are now, THANK YOU. Her attire is so on point, speaks volumes about her character, and is so aesthetically pleasing, and her office?? Is so gorgeous?? And is peak academia?? How are there not tumblr blogs solely dedicated to her outfits??

Truly, Cuddy's wardrobe for me is "God, I wish I had these clothes, these accessories!" But in reality, I dress like House. Well, I wear more plaid, but you get the picture.

A couple of highlights from this season; so, I only cried twice. Once during 1X10 and then 1X21. The former, with some of the best character development for Foreman, and how he goes from dismissing this poor woman to holding her hand as she dies of rabies, god DAMN was that a gut punch. Just, exquisitely done. And Three Stories, just as the audience puts it together that these are all very similar to what happened to House, BOOM, they reveal just exactly that: he's expressing his past trauma the only way he knows how, as a teaching moment. Just, I needed a moment after the episode ended, because it just makes you feel like shit. If you or someone you love has ever been misdiagnosed, or doctors have ignored your symptoms, or inadvertently made your condition worse, you know exactly how this feels. It's just so heartbreaking.

That bookending moment, with the season opening and closing with You Can't Always Get What You Want, is so good. The way it, again, socks you in the stomach by reframing the context of the song, showing how House and Stacy were it for each other, and still want one another, but they're bad together. House may be the One, but Stacy's husband is what she needs. Jesus fucking christ, this first season is so good.

Is it perfect? No. The writers are still getting to know these characters, and that's expected. But it's a really strong start, and is really great at looking at the many different facets of these characters very early on.

Fun little side note, despite having health related anxiety, this show doesn't freak me out. Maybe it's because it can be funny, maybe it's reassuring in how, no matter what's wrong with you, there's likely someone out there that can help. They may violate your privacy while they're at it, but they'll help you. It's oddly reassuring.