#this is about april fools day tumblr btw

[third-king-of-salmonids]

WHY WONT THIS APP LET ME BOOP THE BEAR I WANT TO TAP HIS STUPID SNOUT

[mediocre-daydreams]

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐮𝐲 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐧: ask me any question/let's play some common tumblr games!

cym as different holidays! 💗

11 holidays for 11 mutuals!

christmas (dec 25) is @sw34terw34ther : i always see you chatting with your mutuals! you seem like the person who hosts the best holiday parties and can make their own seasonal drinks. plus with that voice of yours, i could totally see you going carolling. getting tagged in your posts is like a little christmas present.

new year's day (jan 1) is @sub-text : bro is my fucking favorite. i would clean up bottles with you on new year's day. you're so nice it makes me want to cry. i always get sentimental on new years and your writing makes me so sappy and soft bro. you write with such dedication to detail and i can't get enough of it. when i tell you my entire world reset after reading "the bet," i'm sirius serious.

valentine's day (feb 14) is @fairydxll : thanks for this ask btw! imma be honest i tried to urban dictionary what cym was but i'm hoping i got it right and it's "cast your mutuals." (UD was no help i used tumblr.) anyway, you're pink, sparkly, and precious, and you quite literally sent me a heart. i envison you as just the sweetest person ever.

johnny appleseed day (march 11) is @emmaev : i love this johnny dude. tbh no clue if he's real, but as a kid i read a book about him and it was great plus you make me just as happy as i feel when i'm apple picking. you're so insanely supportive and kind and seem down-to-earth and i think johnny would admire your thoughtfulness.

april fool's day (april 1) is @yourallihave : my tumblr wife, obviously. i appreciate you so much. your blog is bright pink and spunky, seeing your name in my notifs always makes me smile, and you have the rare ability to actually make me laugh from something i read online. not just one of those huffs or snorts, yknow?

may day (may 1) is @prettylestrange : colorful hair, colorful blog, and glowing personality. you're like the epitome of spring. i've only ever seen american may day, but it's always full of floral skirts, flower crowns, and the pole with the ribbons and stuff and if midsommar weren't a horror movie, you'd be the may queen.

national apple strudel day (june 17) is @forourmoons : (*said like timothee chalamet in don't look up*) i fucking love apple struedel just likei fucking love you. i'm your biggest fan. you're so talented and you're so interactive with everyone that it feels like you're the perfect flaky pastry crust gordon ramsey would approve of.

national bagelfest day (july 26) is @vendettaparker : if i have extra time in the morning, i'll sit down and grab a bagel before school. your writing is so indulgent and part of the reason i started writing so thank you very much i love you very much. it actually took me a long time to start liking bagels, but when i tried soft bagels for the first time dear god i ascended discovering your blog literally awakened a new jenny.

world plant milk day (aug 22) is @munsonsreputation : hear me out. i'm very passionate about soymilk, but my adoration for your blog comes close second. the way you write with such a balance of artistry, fourth-wall-defying humor, and an understanding of characters makes you as cool as plant milk imo.

dear diary day (sep 22) is @masivechaos : nobody pulls off dark academia like you do. you remind me of hand-me-down sweaters, scrapbook journals, and chocolate covered coffee beans. you're friendly and courteous and i think anyone would feel comfortable talking to you.

halloween (oct 31) is @omenhel : the whole black and white theme fits the vibe and all, but most importantly you seem like someone bold, lighthearted, and who values trying to stay true to themselves. plus you send me asks and it's like getting trick-or-treaters at my door.

(no th*nksg*v*ng on this blog boooo colonization boooo)

[skrimbe]

{MASTERLIST FROM THE PIT}

It's the list of links for my posts! Please notify me if the links aren't working! (Also a lot of them are reblogs)

-BACK TO INTRODUCTION-

Art Posts:

Calypso: pt.1 and pt.2

Oc redraws: pt.1 and pt.2

Ghoul drawings (nameless ghouls my beloveds): Cirrus (this isn't my post btw, i just sent in an ask containing the drawing) and Sunshine

Arty

Expressions chart

NightLight the Ghoulette

Little WIP

NightLight in the Era 4 uniform

Ghoulette drawing!

Ghoul/ Papas Headcanon reblogs with skywarpie and others!

Copia and his father's day gifts

April Fools pranks

Wall drawings

The Ghoulettes and their capes

Ballet shenanigans

Unintentional angst

The cucumber incident

Copia can't bake

When ghouls and papa fly

Terzo is the new headless horseman

Child leashes

The war against knees...

Copia being a good dad

Nihil is a shitty dad but that doesn't stop copia from being better

I got tagged in stuff

Picrew

Music

Shows

HUGS

More Picrew!

My tag game

Music pt.2

Describe yourself in an image from your gallery

Horror movie role!

Shitghosting

Random images

favorite descriptions of Ghost

GHALL PIT PARTY!!!

Ghost Appreciation Posts

Mountain my beloved

The Ghoulettes 🩵

Copia-

Fists of rage

Flying Aether

more Mountain appreciation

Cirrus is going to be the death of me

Mishapocalypse posts and reblogs

it's the 10 year anniversary

he's taken over...

majestic

I would watch this

I'm not sorry

I added pictures

missing cat?

It's time

Where it all began

It's approaching pt.1

It's approaching pt.2

Petition pt.1

Story Time!!!

I feel like shit

I almost froze

It's Friday pt.1

classic books i hated

Do I need to explain?

My speech on Greek Mythology pt.2

BANANA BOY (My son)

My speech on Greek Mythology pt.1

I wanted to cry

I was given fire

It's Friday pt.2

Tumblr is a dumpster fire and the users are raccoons

I dyed my hair once

it sounds like a cult chant

America has something wrong with its animals

Yep

Alarms

Is the bot apocalypse over?

I got my ass beat by picmen in Nintendo smash bros

Watching the ghesties panic

Hehe Star Trek fan

Cards Against Humanity

Year Zero scare

Anyone else do this?

Project time lmao

My babies (cats)

More pictures

First post about them

Updates!

First break

Back from first break (Same link as the link for the time I was given fire btw)

Second break

Back from second break

Questions from the Ask Box!

I am now going to be thinking about this for the entire day

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

welcome new followers! here's some info to get started

this blog posts a lot! for filtering purposes, here are my COMMON TAGS:

#gaudy quotes, posts that include my more outlandish remarks

#gaudy fanart (bc for some reason my amazing artist followers sometimes use their impressive talents to draw my silly little internet persona)

#long post (usually humorous but require some scrolling)

#not a shitpost for posts that don't have a punchline (but you may find interesting or helpful)

#clown tw or #another good clown post, most of which are not good posts :)

#another good vampire post (most of which actually are good posts)

#ocean tw and #whale tw (the ocean makes me anxious and i am generous enough to spread that anxiety around)

#actuallyautistic, bc I'm autistic and sometimes I post about that. similarly, #mental health for posts about self-care, ADHD, depression, anxiety, etc.

#serious post (for posts that include more serious topics)

#tw [topic] for common trigger warnings, such as 'tw insect' or 'tw body horror' or 'tw trauma'. I use a lot of these, feel free to make requests! I try to be consistent, but please remind me if I forget something.

#harassment tw (I occasionally post about my experiences with being the target of an online smear campaign, and my thoughts on harassment culture)

#not OSHA compliant for images you probably don't want showing up  on your screen at work or school. rarely necessary, but useful for filtering  things like baboon butts etc.

#sexual humor most of my jokes are clean, but a few of them use bawdy humor. please filter appropriately!

And here is some GENERAL INFO:

Hi! You can call me Gaudy or Gaud (pronounced 'god,' which is a complete coincidence I am not responsible for, these things just seem to happen to me). I'm they/them.

this blog has a huge archive of shitposts, bizarre facts & random positivity, enjoy! There are almost 45 thousand original posts & articles here, if you are looking for the mental & emotional equivalent of being swallowed by quicksand and simultaneously engulfed by a rock slide <3

here are some old favorites to get you started: The Dollar Post, The Nickel Post, Twitter vs Tumblr, Boy’s Night, Make This Creepy, and some various random others etcetera, no wait here have some more!!! wait i lied here’s more

I also do some creative humor/horror writing, including: Clown Meat Deli Dream, the April Fool’s Saga of the Door, and Don’t Touch the Pink Stuff

yes I am responsible for the Grinch x Tony the Tiger Fanfic

please point out any typos!

(Here’s where my name comes from btw. at this point I can't really afford to change it, or it wouldn't still be a harry potter reference.)

I love reading your comments, feel free to interact on anything I post! (just be respectful to others and use common sense about netiquette)

i’m disabled & unemployed, so my online content is my main source of income, and I spend full-time hours on it. to keep this blog free of ads & sponsors, I rely on reader support. there is never any obligation to donate! but please be aware that some of my posts will include paypal or ko-fi links, which I will try to keep unintrusive. i am just trying to make a very modest living doing something i love and value; this is my detailed response to criticism over 'demanding money to tell jokes'

if you enjoy & want to support my content, $2+ monthly ko-fi support makes the biggest difference, since that is steady income I can depend on even during slow periods or illness. I also rely on your comments, reblogs, feedback, and suggestions!

i hope this blog will brighten your day! my goal is to make you laugh while helping you discover things you don’t know, about the world and possibly yourself. i hope you will enjoy your time here, and learn more facts than you could ever possibly want to know about blue whales!

[deitiesofduat]

Playing a bit of catch up with some retouched sketches for DEITIES that I drew in March / April, for practice and for fun in between other tasks I’m working on ✨ Full context of everything can be found under the cut, and you can also find them in my Ko-fi Gallery.

DEITIES Project Tumblr / Twitter / Instagram >> Support DEITIES Project on Ko-Fi! <<

[1] Some practice with Sobek, for reasons. One reason (aside from tying his hair up) was legitimately so I could practice drawing his ear gauges. Sobek’s dreadlocks and/or headdress are always hiding his ears so /sweeps them back for a moment, perceive them--

[2] Something of Set x Nephthys from their younger, courting days.

[3] ...Yeah so, I honestly wanted to draw an angered Nephthys. You'd have to try really hard to invoke her divine wrath, though... Found this epithet from this cool resource and Kemetic blog btw: https://fiercelybrightone.com/egyptian-gods/about-nebet-het/epithets/

[4] A loose attempt at Montu's griffin form, cuz Egyptian griffins are fun to draw /o/

[5-6] Some panels with Lord Shezmu (and feat. Montu). Enforcing rules and keeping others in line at the training grounds leaves him irritable, but well-made wine easily makes up for it.

---

[Transcript Part 1/2] SHEZMU: “If you fools are so hellbent on dueling each other, at least WAIT UNTIL THE MORNING.”

(/broke up fighting & dragging to infirmary)

---

[Transcript Part 2/2] Shezmu's Domains: Bloodshed, Executions, Perfumes, Aromatics, Wine

SHEZMU: (Sigh) “…What is it that you want this time, Lord Montu? I don’t have ti— is that wine?”

MONTU: “Of only the finest quality~”

SHEZMU: “…Your peace-offering is accepted.”

[7] An out-of-context interaction between Set and Rami, the latter belonging to my friend jinkzdraws @ twitter. But yes, the Lord of Chaos doesn't even pull punches with kids, damn...

---

RAMI: (Challenged Set to a battle) “So you mean… I didn’t eat total sh*t back there?” 

SET: (Did not go easy on him at all—) “Oh you absolutely ate sh*t, I made sure of that~” 

RAMI: “‘Ey!”

[8-10] Bonus drawings of Jinkz’s deity OC and lovable gremlin child, Rami. His sacred animal is based on the Bat-eared fox, so I gave it a try along with his sha animal form. 𓃩 ✨

[deerth]

recently i stumbled upon the “pico but he’s very offensive” fnf mod vid (it was funny btw) and the comment section is full of guys like on the left

i swear to fuck this is like the “mars vs venus” discourse all over again. on one side we have got edgy mostly male chucklefucks who think Newgrounds belongs to them (surprise surprise: I was on NG back in the day and most assuredly, I was not consuming whatever the hell these guys are on about) and on the other side we have queers from all over twitter, tiktok and tumblr just ykno, having fun with a funny cool game. yes some of that content can be called cringe (still entertaining af tho) but being offended over a fictional mascot character possibly being gay? clown on clown violence

and yes i played thru the original pico’s school. was it inappropriate? yes. was it funny? also yes. this game was made in a time where awareness of racial stereotypes was very low at best, but somehow, it also doesn’t exactly make light of the school shooting event, to me it’s rather a commentary on how a kid manages to retaliate against his school shooters, which is a very unlikely scenario irl? sure, it has oodles of dark toilet humour, but I never saw someone say a slur or be outright sexist? so what crack are these leftmost nerds on? even in the april fool’s update fulp had fun playing around with the idea of his little fictional son being gay for the bf in fnf, but bc it was released on april fool’s, these poor fragile dudes feel the need to not even acknowledge its existence

additionally, I seriously don’t understand why there always needs to be opposing sides in a fandom. a character can both be a gun-toting fearless badass AND at the same time be gay and wear a maid dress with cat ears on the top. WHY NOT BOTH?? this dude’s crazy enough to do both things. why do cishet men always feel so threatened by potentially getting their masculine power fantasy ruined hjgsdjghsdhjrhjsdrhjsr, you truly are the weakest link of society. but the other extreme is calling pico’s school “problematic” like my dear, neither tunglr nor twitter existed at that time and ppl did whatever the fuck they knew in their relatively limited worldview before the internet became more expansive and woke, it was 15 years ago, most of y’all (including me) were kids back then hsdghshjsjhjhrshj, a lot can change in over a decade

it really shows how internet culture has changed since then, but tbf, i like the new culture a little more than the old one - just not the extreme side

[writtenwhalien]

Hey, loveee 🥰

Well I'm stupid for saying this, but I want to apologize if sometimes there are any errors or mistakes in my responses (I woke up today, got onto tumblr and I was faced with my last night's mess. Jeez! 😅🤦‍♀️) I swear, autocorrect won't stop messing up with me while texting. Plus, that thing where you try to edit replies to a reblog, but somehow they remain unfixed down in the comment box is so annoying. And even though I want to be as fluent as possible in English, I'll never be good enough because it's not my native language. I know that's not a big deal as the main goal is to deliver messages and have an easy communication, but still. I'm a perfectionist... 🥺

In a more positive light, my brain's still processing all the shocking information from last night's reading. What a wild night!?🔥 Hope you have a lovely day in whatever you do and if you feel like talking about anything I'm always here to listen. Love you! ❤❤

Happy April fools' day, btw! God, I hate lies sm and I hate this day as well! (funny how it's right after by b-day 😭)

looooool, no it’s okay, sometimes my typing messes up real bad too and auto-correct makes it worse. it usually happens when i’m really tired. and i find that so annoying too, esp after someone else has reblogged it but your original mistake remains! your english is perfect, i always understand everything you’re saying clearly, not to worry at all! ☺️

aw, i’m happy you thought it was a wild night loooool, alr is definitely going to have a lot more moments like that ;) thank you, anna, i appreciate that very much 🥺❤️ today i’m mostly studying so i’m trying to enjoy it lol. i hope you have a wonderful day too!! 🥰💗💘

and about April Fools, i also hate the day looool, but i’m hoping that hobi wasn’t messing with us on weverse yday, i want his hair to be red again!

[klarolinedrabbles]

What are some of the tvd to fandoms greatest hits so to speak... I was only in it for a short time and then jumped out because I couldn't stand to

Oh, well allow me to be your guide. This will be under a read more because I already know, I’m gonna write a whole essay. Shout out to my ride or die @hellsbellschime.

I don’t think any overtly crazy happened during the good!TVD years. No wait, I’m lying.

The year the spin-off got announced, I believe it was tvguide, that posted an article with like info tidbits for currently airing shows. And one of them, was that Hayley was pregnant with Klaus’ kid. I remember this shit so clearly, man. Everyone was so confused. And then they were like SURPRISE, APRIL FOOLS. Because it was in fact April 1st. So ha-ha we all had a laugh, great. Fastforward to what, late April? Episode 4x20 airs, and it’s exactly what happened???

That whole day btw, the day the backdoor pilot for TO aired was just insanity. I’ll say that about a lot of days in this answer, but that day was really just something else. Like we were delirious, that’s the only way I can explain what happened on here. It was a nightmare but also one of the funniest night’s I’ve ever spent on here. I gotta go back for old time’s sake and reblog some of the shit from that night because we all snapped. And not in the good way. 

The TVD 100th. Now, we knew Joseph was coming back for that episode so they hype was real. Because up until that point, we’d gotten a huge load of nothing in regards to Klaroline. They released a trailer, a short one, that’s still in my favorites folder on youtube to this day. I rewatch it all the time because it’s iconic. And there was literally .002 seconds of Klaroline. It’s Caroline standing and then Klaus says “hello, caroline” and everyone lost their shit so much when it dropped that ‘hello caroline’ trended ww on twitter. 

THE DAY THE NETWORK THAT AIRED TVD IN AUSTRALIA AIRED A PROMO WITH THE KLAROLINE KISS IN 5X11. ICONIC. I literally woke up, logged on at around 11 AM my time, and my dashboard was on fire. It was the BEST. We didn’t know wtf to do, it was amazing. 

Paleyfest. Ohhhh buddy, lemme tell ya. So TVD/TO got chosen to have the CW panel’s at Paleyfest that year. Everyone was on a bit of edge because TO to that point was what, almost done with S1 and Klaroline had been given the mega cold-shoulder despite being the very thing other than the Mikaelson’s that got used to lure people in? After the pregnancy plot from hell, everyone was ready to peace tf out, but we got halted because it was a ‘ohh of course it’s gonna continue’ then they tried to nip Klaroline in the bud with 5x11 and no one was having it. So Paleyfest was where we were gonna get some ANSWERS, DAMMIT. I live on the east coast and the festival was held in the west coast so I wasn’t awake when it was happening. I remember making a post about how ‘going to sleep, and hoping when I woke up the answers were good.’. So I went to sleep, woke up a few hours later like 2-3 AM my time, and checked my blog and the first message I had was ‘don’t wake up stephanie, everything is a mess, stay asleep where everything’s fine’ I—

The gist of that was, they basically set JoMo up to be the bad-cop in shutting down Klaroline. He gave this long answer that made absolutely zero sense. The girl who asked the question about Klaroline, who was like 13 at the time, got called a bully for even asking a question at an event she paid to be at. A mess. And JP was like NO CROSSOVERS, ORGANIC, BLAH BLAH. And Paul was sitting next to her going “why can’t the show’s just intersect”, he was right and he said it. 

I can’t remember if this was S1 or S2, but somebody tweeted something and Carina replied ‘when you’re found dead in your basement with klaroline written on you this is why’ or something like that, that was a ~fun~ night. And then like half an hour later she was like “I’m sorry, I’ll never tweet about Klaroline again just leave me alone” if you’ve ever seen this fandom refer to ourselves as basement dwellers, this night is why. 

NARDUCCI. Can’t forget him. Talk about a man who just didn’t get it. And I don’t mean Klaroline, he just didn’t get anything, nothing in his head has ever clicked, I’m convinced. He used to pick fights on twitter repeatedly. Admitted once that he missed his flight because he was on twitter…arguing with a fan. AND ONE DAY, he decided to just—snap. Went on this hours long tirade against the Klaroline fandom, essentially calling everyone stupid because no one was appreciating the ‘art’ of the show. So when I say it lasted hours, I mean that. Now, you’d think, that he would be done, right? WELL, apparently that wasn’t enough, so the next day, he continued. I remember because I was in this gc on whatsapp, and I remember Erika sending a message to the gc going “omg, Narducci vs KCers round 2″ when I tell you I screamed. The man went on a two-day rampage against this fandom and it was insane. 

S6/S2 of TVD/TO was not a fun time. I can genuinely say it was borderline a chore to come on here during that time. It wasn’t fun, every day someone was in argument with someone from production on twitter. Truly the worst year of the fandom, imo. So S7/S3 rolls around and that’s where shit went nuclear. 

Hillary and I, are minding our own damn business, when someone come’s to us with information regarding the new seasons. This was post-SDCC, so it’s like the lull of September, waiting for the seasons to start in October. And we get approached with information, talkin bout how Caroline’s gonna be pregnant with Alaric’s twins in S7. When I tell you we didn’t know wtf to do. And we had to like wait on confirmation about it but then we found out it was legit and we were pissed. Literally ask us if we wanted to be in the spoiler game, the answer is no tf we did not. And she and I basically spent two days complaining. LIKE UGHHHH WE DON’T WANNA DO THIS, BUT ALSO THIS IS DISGUSTING, WE CAN’T JUST LET THEM SPRING THIS ON EVERYONE, BUT AGHH WHY US. So we chose collectively, as a duo, because das my other half yo, to blab. 

That went over as best as anyone could hope for it to go. Now, flashforward yet again, this time to around late Novemeber/December. I had been sent word that something was going down. TVD/TO lost their Thursday slots and got bumped to Friday’s, so a plan was going on, and they made one. We’d heard that they were rearranging something mid-season because they were gonna make a crossover work, publicly we found out it would be Paul and JoMo that crossover back-to-back. THEN ONE NIGHT—I call it black friday bc  that day was a fucking mess—, a friend of mine was friends with an SCer, I wanna say, and she was hearing word that the crossover did have Klaus and Caroline interact via phone call, but that it was very definitively an ending. Because they spoke about Camille and Stefan, etc, etc. Like a closing of the book type thing. So okay, we were like devastated, everyone on twitter was losing their shit. Everyone was pissed, and @-ing the writers all these crazy, sad things, we were a wreck. Ask Hillary about this night because she, I remember, describes it as ‘logging on and reading what everyone else had and not understanding why tf everyone was mad about it’. It was the first and last time that our roles were reversed, and bless her for it. 

SO WE’RE SITTING THERE, it’s Saturday, and we kept getting more information and we were like…something isn’t right here. So we did a bit of digging, spoke to a few people and waited it out. LO AND BEHOLD, everything we’d heard about the phone call was false. There was a phone call but the CKers and SCers were so mad about what was actually said in it, that a few of em, ring leaders of the feeble minded, made up a version and passed it around their fandoms as legit till it eventually worked it’s way over to us. So we all jumped the gun on fake information, lmfskdnknsks. Rumor has it, you can still hear Hillary yelling ‘I told you so’ at me through our group chat. 

So all was well, I couldn’t tell everyone why not to panic, just that they didn’t need to. Until, this account popped up called tvdspoiler or something on twitter, also saying false information about the phone call. Sending everyone into a panic yet again. I remember this because I was at  kmart with my mom, and the kmart by my house was in a basement so I had no cell service. I was able to send like a couple of messages, and was basically like ‘tell everyone to chill, I’ll clear it up when I get home’ did that in like a couple of hours cause then I had to leave to the midnight showing of the force awakens with my friends. So that day was chaotic, but fun. It was the first time I reached 99+ messages on my inbox, lmao. 

So that all happened like a good while before we actually saw the episode. But cut to a few weeks later. I woke up at 1 AM my time to drink water, was on tumblr trying to go back to sleep. I checked my inbox and there was this bizarre message talking about ‘got some scoop’ and they were like ‘Finn dies in 3x17, Aurora gets put into some weird sleeping spell in 3x18, Camille and Davina die in 3x19, Lucien dies in 3x20′ and I quite literally laughed??? Literally who wouldn’t. Like who tf would ever believe TO had the balls to do all of that when they never killed anyone off. AND, WHO WOULD BELIEVE THAT SOMEONE WOULD JUST STOP BY, SHARE IT AND LEAVE. So I sent a screenshot to Hillary and was like ‘yo did you get this because wtf’. We often got duplicate messages. And we often got messages of people who were pissed about the two previous times we, from the klaroline fandom of all places, had legit info that wound up being true, that they were just waiting for us to fuck up. So we used to get messages of people pretending they were sharing info, and it was just antis trying to make us look stupid. 

SO, Hillary says ‘just answer it because it’s obviously fake’ top ten moments before disaster. I answer it and am like oh haha, and where did that info come from. And they came back like a minute later, saying ‘I have a source’ THEN THEY ELABORATED. They mentioned that Lucien drags Freya and Vincent to Mystic Falls to do this spell with some bullet and etc. So at that point we were like fUCK because that same day we’d found out was in 3x16, which ended with Lucien and this white-oak bullet, having kidnapped Freya. And that’s when we knew, that someone showed up in the middle of the night, spoiled the whole back-half of TO S3—and then left.

The back-half of S3 was so fun??? Every week the info just kept coming true. On the wikia everyone hated me, probably the most anti messages I ever had was during that time, honestly it was great, 10/10 would recommend. 

THEN, at some point in our blog history, Hillary had been getting quite a few messages about PT. And she had this fucking line in one of the messages about Phoebe’s pronunciation with her accent for the show, or lack thereof. And she said “weeches and woves will always have a place in my heart” SO THEM PHOEBE TWEETED IT. THAT EXACT LINE, and we were like was she...? So we shrugged off okay. A few days later, she tweeted “hellsbellschime enough, there’s plenty of other things to watch on tv, I hear mad men’s great.” And I—

THIS WAS ON SOME RANDOM ASS SUNDAY. Like I was lounging around, waiting for the new episode of game of thrones and then WHAM, chaos. AND AS IF THAT WASNT ENOUGH, Leah joined in too. Putting a target on my friends back...about her blog that no one was making them read. You can’t make that shit up. And Jenn actually replied to Phoebe’s tweet and got a reply back, and she was all “you’re right, I’m sorry” and then deleted the original tweet, which I still have a screenshot of btw. And then Leah showed up in Hillary’s inbox with this ridiculous three part ask about how she shouldn’t criticize women in the acting industry because of how hard it is for women in that industry which is true, but it doesn’t make you exempt from criticism??? So not sure where she meant to go with that one.

SO THERE WE HAVE IT, our fandom’s greatest hits. I’m sure I can elaborate and insert more, but I’ve been typing for a good 40 minutes. 

Told ya, I wrote a whole dissertation, lmaooo.

[outofmycu]

Thursday, April 4th

11:20am 

I have a very big problem with lying. 

I had several topics to start off my first blog post with. I could have talked about how I was going to use Wordpress to write my first blog, because I saw some girl on Instagram that I used to follow using it, but then realizing that it would take too long to figure out how to use the platform just to write about my feelings (which I’ve desperately been needing to do). I could have talked about how watching Maisie Williams lie about a Game of Thrones spoiler in an April Fool’s joke with Jimmy Fallon triggered a memory of J (specifically around 2:31, when she stares at Jimmy in fabricated fear, and remembering J’s face when I told her I had cheated on her). I could have even chosen the notion that I want to try ecstasy with my mom, after my experience with L (I need to come up with better nicknames for the people in my life).

But I’m going to start off with lying.

I guess I can write about those things later. I can write about the podcasts I listen to, whatever. I can write as many times as I want to, about anything I want to. I think it will be easier on here over pen and paper, because although pen and paper can be extremely cathartic in the way my fingers connect to the pen and paper like a stream of consciousness, it can get a little messy.

In any case.

I have a very big problem with lying.

I lie about everything in my life. I lie at least three times a day, when I’m with other people. I lie about how I’m feeling, I lie about what I did that day. I lie about big things. I lie about why I failed my course. I lie about things that have happened to me.

Actually, this is too much to talk about right now. This goes way deeper than I imagined. I’m starting to realize how defined I am by my lying. How I lie to myself about who I am so often, I’m starting to forget. I’m starting to think I am a lie, even though I pride myself so much on being honest with myself (outwardly) and not caring about what people think.

Am I lying when I think I have been sexually abused? I think I may be. But then, why do I not remember the first time I masturbated? Why do I react to sex the way I do? Why does oral sex disturb me? Is it biological, or is it mental?

I remember the time a guy I was sexting on Instagram told me he couldn’t come through oral sex anymore, but that it was just mental because he could come through penetrative sex. That really stuck with me.

(God, when I start writing down what I feel, I really start to realize how much is wandering around in my head that I don’t let out. So much starts flowing. So many thoughts start emerging.)

A lot of things stick with me, and I forget a lot of other things. Very odd things stick with me, too. Very specific things. Like L telling me how superior he felt to his work colleagues. 

Okay, now I was looking for icons for my Tumblr blog and I got distracted and thought about gender again. Fuck my ADHD brain.

Lol I made my account private because this shit is about to get deeeeeeep.

Bruh I need to choose one topic and stick to it like omg. But it’s so hard when one thought leads to another and another I just wanna write what I think about.

But like, I just opened my dash and saw a black cat just as my black cat (Bruno) was in front of me. And I realized I need to be more in contact with myself instead of focusing on being in contact with L. 

Which is funny because last night I realized I was in L’s life. Like for a second there I thought I didn’t exist to him? Idk if that makes sense. Like I don’t know how to explain it, but I felt like I was a stranger to him for some reason. I can’t reconnect with that experience right now if I try to, but I just... like, when I thought about him I was like, wow. This guy is in love with me. Isn’t that weird? This guy cares about me (does he?). I’m in his life. I’m part of his life (am I?).

It was really weird. Idk if I felt distant to him too. Maybe I felt like I wasn’t part of his life. Maybe when he starts ignoring me, I start imagining my life without him so much, that last night it actually materialized in my mind. One day we will actually be strangers though. And that’s not in a far off future. Which is weird to think about. But like, it’s gonna happen. Soon. You know?

I’ll be fine by then, though. Tbh like I don’t wanna sound like an evil bitch but I do want to learn from him. I don’t want to drain him, but I want every time I spend with him to be a learning experience. I want to learn from him. I want to be a different person by the end of the year.

Btw, it’s so much easier writing on a laptop than on a journal. Also bc I’m scared people with find my journal. I might take pictures of it and post them here to document what I was feeling then and keep that shit, but like also not have the physical evidence of all of those dark thoughts that I was having.

The physical evidence really freaks me out. I used to think I had no reason to keep a diary, because I had nothing to hide. But I have more to hide than I had thought. I have a whole world inside me, unexplored. And the more I write about what I feel, the more I realize I hide more than I show. Soooo much more. I wonder if everyone is like that. Probably. Like 100% actually lol.

I need to start being more conscious of how I feel. I need to really connect with myself. I’ve spent so long disconnecting with myself. I was thinking this last night - I don’t remember when, but I remember looking at my hands or something, maybe walking back from the gym for some reason, and thinking - man, I really want to know myself. Omg yes! I was listening to that song by Luisa Sonza, “Pior Que Possa Imaginar”, and that really triggered that feeling in me. Like I needed to know what was inside me. Like I need to explore myself better than I’ve ever explored anyone else, to understand what I feel, in order to like... tame myself.

Because I don’t really know myself. And I don’t trust myself. The fact that I am so bad at manual labor - so scared of cutting someone else’s hair, of learning how to drive a car - reflects how I feel inside about myself. I don’t trust myself to do things. I think I’m stupid and incapable, therefore I become stupid and incapable. But I want to change that. Genuinely. I want to change how stupid and incapable I feel.

Even though it was a tiny victory, yesterday when I was helping my mom put up the curtains, I felt so capable. Maybe today I will cook something. I will bake sweet potatoes. And I could make a brownie or something, I don’t know. I don’t know what I will do, but I am going to do something manual. I think every day I will try to do one manual thing, and one mental thing (aside from writing). If I translate the manual into mental, I will improve as a person.

I have soooo much work to do on myself and I’m only 21. How does that happen?

[attract-mode-collective]

Not An April Fools Gag; That’s A Game Boy Advance With A GameCube Stick Affixed For Reals

What you're seeing is a modded GBA that I spotted on eBay. It's a real thing! Though it doesn't magically grant analogue control to all the digital input only games on the system, which is all of them for the record (sorry). Then again, it could be argued that the controls in WarioWare Twisted is technically analogue...

That aside aside, welcome to yet another recap of stuff posted over at the Attract Mode Twitter! Though this time it's gonna be a bit on the short side, relatively speaking; even I know covering two entire whole weeks has led to hard to handle Tumblr posts, so I'm going to try concentrating on just one week at a time/attempt weekly updates.

Let's see how well that goes...

Hey, it's SF2 IRL thanks to ARKit (via prostheticknowledge)...

At the time, when I first tweeted about it, there were only three left of Amanda Visell’s Player One Mario; no idea how many there are now...

When you can make a decision regarding lunch (via @Mechazawa)....

If you appreciate both the ease of slip-on sneakers and the taste of ghosts, then Games Glorious has something for you (via miki800.com)...

As a connoisseur of video games on the printed page, it is my goal to one day own a copy of Namco's newsletter that was distributed in game centers during the 80s & 90s, NG (via miki800)...

Remember that time Namco got someone from Yellow Magic Orchestra to hawk their wares (via namcomuseum)...

Both in print and on TV…

The YMO member in question, Haruomi Hosono, also did a Xevious remix album, which longtime readers of the blog will hopefully recall.

Sticking with Namco CMs, there’s a pair of longtime faves that I could have sworn I’ve already posted as well, yet cannot find. Though as noted, many times already, the search functionality here is broken.

So here’s a boy playing with his Famicom in the middle of the woods...

And here’s a girl playing with his Famicom in the middle of the woods...

Back to the subject of print, can’t seem to find any info on the Futabasha Fantasy Novel Series, which (I think) was a line of video game novelizations; this one appears to be written by the creator of Xevious himself (via shmups)...

The focus here is supposed to be the Lawson’s reward card with Kirby on it, but I am all about that Space Invaders whatever the heck it is (via miki800)...

Spent MANY hours at Japanese bookstores during my college years, flipping through Sega Saturn Magazine; seeing these VF Kids ads again makes me feel all warm & fuzzy (via thesegasource)...

This (what I believe to be a) farewell image of the face of the Saturn from the very first issue of Dreamcast Magazine, also gives me the feels (via oldgamemags)...

BTW, everyone knows the identity of Saturn's pitchman (Segata Sanshiro), but what about the Mega Drive's? (via yokosuka87)...

Back to the Saturn; I love how Sega want from Segata Sanshiro to Hidekazu Yukawa for the Dreamcast. This launch edition of the console, btw, was spotted at VideoGamesNewYork...

It's also where they Kira Kira Star Night DX for twice the asking price, as @gamespite)...

Speaking of music, to fully enjoy this animated gif of Eggman running…

… you need to have this song playing (via lunaticobscurity).

And to fully enjoy this image of Eggman on the sax…

... you need to have this song playing (via very-territorial-oak).

@ondoruragitan sez: "whoever designed that clown lady in ace attorney is probably the most horny artist to ever exist" (it's funny cuz it's true)...

So the big news these past few weeks, especially among video game folk my age, has been the end of the Toys R Us. Many have been sharing artifacts from the glory days, with my fave example being these old flyers, with the obvious highlight seeing all the original MSRP prices (via retrogamerblog)...

Oh, and don’t forget the gifs (via nintendroid)...

The following are more appropriate for my way, way overdue batch of game culture snapshots, but since we're on the subject of retail anyway; I recently stumbled across Nintendo's collab with Bloomingdale's that I had no idea even existed...

Took a bunch of pics, but unfortunately, due to the harsh lighting at the SoHo store, it was impossible to capture the women’s section, hence the abundance of men’s wear...

These women's sweatshirts are the best example of the line's overall design sensibilities, or lack thereof; it’s just a bunch of random Nintendo sprites on attire that is available at Bloomingdale's, period. That's all it aspires to be, nothing more...

... And that's a real shame, cuz aside from the quality of the clothing itself being high, some of the ho-hum looking designs could be really engaging with a few minor tweaks, like this b&w women's jacket with a very random assortment of b&w Super Mario World sprites...

In addition to clothing, you had accessories, like iPhone cases...

Plus sunglasses, which revealed Super Mario World playing on what appears to the naked eye to be a blank, white screen....

Speaking of Super Mario World, here's a hamster enjoying the game (via @kousuke_teppei)...

The lil guy also owns an original Famicom, and here we is playing Solomon's Key (thanks to @Topherocious for helping me to identify the game)...

Being that friend who is REALLY into video games means I'm asked a wide variety of questions from folks who are not, like why @beesmygod  is "freaking out" over a Sonic & Garfield two pack for the PC...

... I'll be honest, I don't really understand why either.

Here we have a mockup for an ad blocker that replaces banners with GBA screenshots, which I really want to see happen (via @tinycartridge)...

I also really want to see this happen too (via @truongasm)...

Back to Tiny Cart; that's where I found out that you no longer have to play emulated Tiger handheld games sans backgrounds...

Nothing beats a pic of a dimly lit arcade, especially when it's shot on ACTUAL film (via mendelpalace)...

As for this particular arcade show, @kappuru theorizes "it looks like cinestill film, or a filter designed to mimic it." (via parkerwoods)...

"WHO IS THIS NUN?! WHY DOES SHE LOOK SO SINISTER?" is a great KOF related question (via vice-s-assistant)...

And "BOWL BEFORE ME" is a great KOF related gag (via brondeef)...

"this is the best cosplay i’ve ever seen" is a a great costume play related observation made by lunaticobscurity...

"how to get away with playing super mario odyssey in class" is the caption given by retrogamerblog...

"Stardew Valley gave me 500 characters to use as my farm name, so I put down an entire 1-star amazon review for an Independence Day DVD" is the explanation given by @NoahHafford...

Hey, you never know, maybe one day a homebrew dev might make “Shinjuku-Nichome Gay District Serial Murders” a reality? (via mendelpalace)

When you’ve got one copy of Melee with two boxes, and one copy of Air Ride with zero boxes… just gotta improvise (via stellatuna)...

When you’ve got a killer Game Genie code but no paper to write it down on... and then you discover the code does something totally different (via theassortment)...

And when I asked what this 4koma featuring a Dreamcast VMU was all about, @JonahD was kind enough to explain: "VMUs are playing hide and seek, Black is seeking. One VMU thinks hiding in the controller would be good but it makes a bunch of noise and they’re found immediately" (via posthumanwanderings)...

Whereas I have yet to find out what all these Sonics are doing at a German airport (via sonicthehedgeblog)...

I normally don’t let the weather get to me, yet the constant cold weather in NYC over the past few weeks began taking its toll, to the point that I’m starting to resemble an upside down Super Famicom/European SNES (via sixteen-bit)...

I also really wish I could have checked out Sakura-Con, and not just cuz the weather is so much nicer in Seattle, but to pick up @alexisparade's Monster Factory zine...

I stared at gif illustrating the wacky perspective-related behavior of Super Mario 64’s trees for an entire day, no joke (via suppermariobroth)...

Here we have the rarely seen alternate angle of the internet famous "LAN party gamer duct-taped to the ceiling" photo (via reddit.com)...

Turning the clock back even further, here's yet another kind of party, one that doesn’t involve first person shooters but shoot ‘em ups; it’s the 1986 Hudson Caravan (via videogamesdensetsu)...

Recently, a modded NES Max controller showed up on Kotaku, in which the cycloid nub has been replaced with an analogue stick...

... Which actually appeared the day after I spotted that modded GBA at the very top of this page. I am also willing to admit the disappointment over my tweet not catching on as expected/hoped it would, hence why I'm sharing another pic...

At any rate, I was also reminded of my buddy Nick Santaniello's modded Jaguar controller, which allows for arcade perfect Tempest 2000 controls...

... Which in turned led to me republishing the post from which it hails from originally, my recap of Nick's Shmup Appreciation Night, for Medium (and also sharing additional pics on Twitter)...

BTW, for those wondering, based upon the last round of tweets; the kitchen isn’t just for playing old Mega Drive & PC Engine shmups… you can also play old Naomi fighting games (via internetflexin)...

Guess that's it for now? Sorry, but it finally feels like spring in NYC, and I feel the need to step away from the computer & enjoy weather! Just like Mega Man (via arcadequartermaster)...

[amstories]

AM Stories Masterlist

Welcome to AM Stories! This masterlist will serve as a guide for you as you navigate my Tumblr blog.

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nagsusulat, AM

[marvelousaddiction]

Rules: Once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about you. At the end choose 25 people to be tagged. 

I was tagged by @pheonyxstorm

LAST: 

Drink: Last thing I drank was a coke, last alcoholic beverage was Gentlemen’s Jack (but I may have regular Jack tonight)

(btw Tay, try Irish Trashcan, optional but add strawberry sour straw candy)

 Phone Call: My momma lol 

Text Message: @ceobryce

Song you listened to:  Rammstein - Feuer Frei! (and Victorious a Breezy original)

Time I Cried: two tears in the shower, I missed the breakdown this time and I took care of myself so yeah...

HAVE YOU EVER: 

Dated someone twice: nope

Been cheated on: twice 

Kissed Someone and regretted it: yep, four people.....well....yeah four

Lost someone special: yep, some of them died, and one of them is still alive but I wish her the best still

been drunk and thrown up: yes, twice, but only a little bit each time  and I’ve never really had a hangover, only maybe a mild headache when I wake up, I barely notice it 

IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

Made a new friend: I’d like to say so 

Fallen Out of Love: no

Laughed Until You Cried: all the time like (almost) errday

Met Someone Who Changed You: no, not really, but people I have always had I’ve come to some realizations about leading to changes in myself, example, I drink sometimes now

Found Out Who your true friends are: mhm, I always constantly play it safe in this department because of my past

Found out someone was talking about me: honey, listen, people been talking about you since you came into this world and they gon’ talk about you after you out of it. (at least you're on their mind) 

GENERAL:

How many people in Tumblr do you know in real life?: @ceobryce @wolfsilverlight @leftzombiepenguin @brayamac @violet-soulkeeper17 @talonvictor @oneshoeshort (and Megan, I have to find her name and edit this lol)

Do you have any pets?: Yep. Dusty Leroy (my last name), Simba Sophia (my last name), Angel Clemingtine (my last name), Bobby Lee (my last name) and Loli (Lolli) Pop (my last name) 

Do you want to change your name? : First name,no, it made Papa proud I was named after him, Middle name, yes until this past june because I was the only kid of my dad’s kids (and grandkids) without the middle name Marie but in June something happened that changed my mind so I thanked my mom for naming me Irene. Last name, eventually lol, yknow marriage and shiz

What time did you wake up this morning: 6:00

What were you doing last night: laying in bed, talking to @browneyedhunter and ignoring what was going on outside my bedroom or trying with all my might and failing 

Name something you cannot wait for: Just one thing, other than actually starting my life (long ass story), tonight (giggidy), the black panther movie and april fools day to take a day trip to Raleigh and see Kevin Hart (if life allows) and down the line a little bit, to be a mom 

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom?: not to my recollection, but yes in my dreams, Tom Hiddleston is a amazing man 

What’s getting on your nerves right now: nothing really at this moment, i guess being a female has terrible timing 

Blood type: blood? red? 

Nickname: Nerd, Short Person, BabyGirl, Jess, Jessie, Jessie Jess, Angel, there are so many 

Relationship Status: Happy 

Zodiac Sign: Cancer (June 25)

Pronouns: She, her, I am a cis girl lol but I will proudly respond to Dude, Bro, Bruh, Broski

Favorite Show: Obviously Supernatural is number 1, top 3 are Supernatural, Sherlock, and probably Penny Dreadful (but I have many favorites)

College: Not yet, I took a placement test and such but I am trying to get things straight first. Fingers crossed, within the next year or so I can start. I took some CP/ college class in high-school, there was one, Physcology, where  the professor actually came and taught us and I did well in that also I think I made like a high Cor a B but with the history class they gave us a book, popped us in front of computers. I tried, I really did, but I also did something there that I never did in school before, I tried and couldn’t learn anything (that is when the computers actually worked) and it was just boring so I got fed up basically said fuck this shit and failed on purpose. My education currently is K4-graduating from high school with a diploma. I actually love learning so please don’t misunderstand, I hated school, but I still tried my best and did pretty well and never flunked a grade level or anything, I was also that person everyone hated for reminding teachers of homework when they forgot it because I was the one that, not exaggerating, had mental breakdowns doing it. In highschool there is/was a notorious teacher that everyone hated, literally, someone keyed his truck, but, he saw how hard I worked and such and he actually became like my best friend and I may have been a teacher’s pet but he and my other math teacher my senior year were my best friends. Okay long unnecessary rambling sorry 

Hair Color: brunette, naturally, will eventually be black I know for certain. However, I colored it black once years ago, and in highschool I bleached my bangs so they were blonde, about two years ago but longer I put blue where the blonde was and that faded to teal, then i put red streaks throughout my hair when that was gone. Its been natural for a long time 

Do you have a crush on someone: yes. celebrities, obviously, but there is one man on campus i sware i cant take my eyes off of lol. My babe,marie, and I have a whole private joke thing about it. He is known as Superman, you had to be there

What do you like about yourself: this one is really hard, honestly. It varies but I guess....I mean, my sweatshirt I am wearing now? that count? Oh! I can drink and not become my big sister, despite having to convince myself of that. It is complicated and my eyes too lol 

FIRSTS:

First Surgery: it was getting my tonsils taken out when i was like maybe 5 or 6

First Piercing: ears, although i was never really able to wear earrings because of a reaction but they are closed now. I’m really thinking about getting my belly button pierced

First Sport You joined: there was the time when I was little and wrestling my dad, but that career ended when I kicked his nose/mouth and they swole, and the time I played football as a baby at my moms old family church but I bit my evil cousin? do those count?

First vacation: I don’t know if I ever had a vacation but I know my first time leaving home for a trip we went to Virginia, then Pittsburgh PA, then Niagra Falls NY

First Pair of Sneakers: I am willing to bet were hand me downs or from dollar general or a thrift store

Right Now: 

Eating: Nothing at this second

Drinking: Nothing at this second but later Jack & Coke/soda  and going to taste green apple Crown Royal with sprite,supposedly tastes like Jolly ranchers 

I’m about to: respond to @browneyedhunter, shes been waiting while I typed all of this and hopefully tonight......uh giggidy 

Listening to: keys typing and Jimmy’s snoring behind me 

Want Kids: in the future, someday, yes, very much 

Get Married: maybe, I’ll see if life let’s me but people say Jimmy and I are married. By people I mean my 62 yr old parents and his grandad, and his mom 

Career: I really want one someday, but, we have talked, and we would both be alright with being a SAHM too. Right now, I don’t feel like I am doing my part despite what everyone says; but as long as I feel like I am doing that, I am good

SO TIREED!!! SHOULDERS HUUURURRTT 

Lips or Eyes: who’s?

Hugs or kisses: again, who are we talking about?

Shorter or tall: I am shorter than everyone, @emoryhemsworth knows what I mean since we are both 4′9

Older or Younger: I have a thing for older guys

Romantic or Spontaneous: both

Sensitive or loud: those things don’t always necessarily correlate 

Hookup or Relationship: Relationship. Unless it is another girl’ then I couldn’t do a relationship unless it was Poly

Troublemaker or Hesitant: hesitant af 

Have You Ever:  

Kissed a stranger: no, that is how disease happens. Unless...I guess Jimmy was technically a stranger when I met him and we kissed 

Drank hard liquor: the hardest thing I have found I actually like is whiskey or Irish Trashcan 

Lost Contacts/ glasses: nope

Sex on first date: believe it or not i have only ever done it with one person

Broken someone’s heart: I think I broke Faith’s heart when I told her true things about disney,childhood movies, fairytales etc 

Been arrested: no, my parents have though XD

turned someone down: nope

Fallen for a friend: Yup, wish her well but she co go screw herself or that sweet soulles-

DO YOU BELIEVE: 

In yourself: most of the time, no

Miracles: yes, because of I have lived through some, many of them 

Love at First sight: i guess 

Ive tagged people lol, I am done 

[eloarei]

Okay, so my friend Lila (perhaps foolishly) expressed an interest in hearing about the fandoms I've been into in the past-since-we've-really-talked, and I'm now an old woman of 28 whole years so time kinda flies by like a supersonic jet now, so I'm gonna start back about 2 years ago, because that still feels 'recent' to me. Under a cut for your convenience (given that 99.5% of you probably don’t want to read it). Also, I bolded the important things so you can just skim through it haha ^^; And I added pictures because... pictures!  also, I tagged a few people, but not so much because I wanted them to see it, but because they were relevant to my story. So don’t feel obligated to read this, if that’s you. I wasn’t trying to get your attention, I just wanted to credit you properly. 

September 2015 -- SO! This time two years ago, I was (I think) making a valiant effort to try to finish my darling long-fic, Rogue, so I guess you could say I was in the HINABN fandom. (It's one of my on-and-off fandoms; I don't think I'll ever fall out of it completely. You know, in fact, I'd call it on-and-on. I'm always into it, just in different intensities.) (I didn't come remotely close to finishing Rogue then. It took me until March of THIS year to finish it. ^^; )

October 2015 -- Around that time, One Punch Man came out, so I was deinitely into that. I've always loved Madhouse, so chances are I'm gonna be nuts for anything they make. OPM was a really fun series, though my involvement was mostly watching the show and reblogging shitloads of fanart. I read a few fics, but never got involved in making any myself. I had a vague idea about like some evil-Saitama x hacked-Genos fic which would have been called Genocide, as a play on their fantastic ship name, Genosai. I'm still waiting for season 2. Just... waiting patiently over here.

November 2015/ May 2016 -- Then, Fallout 4 came out. I didn't play it, but boy did I ever fall in love with the beautiful robot man everyone was posting about, Nick Valentine. I like to play games in order though (even though everyone said you didn't have to with this series), so I got Fallout 3 (the oldest one easily available on any system I own) for Christmas and was CRAZY hooked. I spent the first month of 2016 pretty much exclusively playing FO3 (and reading @chocochipbiscuit 's fantastic rarepair longfic, Jinxed. lol I felt so blessed that someone else had thought to ship the main character with the big frightening loyal intelligent monster companion. <3 (Fawkes is still the best.) Then I played the sequel, Fallout: New Vegas, but unfortunately it's the glitchiest damn game in existence, so even though I loved it, I couldn't put as much time into it as I wanted. BUT then Jason bought me Fallout 4 and I was just head over heels, wow. I put over 250 hours in the game, and still didn't beat it, because wandering around post-apocalyptic ruins was way more entertaining than finishing the story. XD; So basically the first half of 2016 was entirely consumed by Fallout, and my love for Nick Valentine. I conceptualized a fic, but didn't let myself write it because I was still in the process of trying to finish Rogue. (I also spent THE REST OF MY LIFE being pissed that you couldn't romance Nick Valentine in the game, even though there were so many other options and he was the one that just, ugh, just MADE SENSE! and you couldn't do it! *rages*)

June 2016 -- Around June, Pokemon GO came out, so I actually spent large portions of the summer walking around (can you believe it?!) and catching the 'mons. September 2016 -- When it started to cool down, around September, I somehow got into Back To The Future, and I'm not really sure how it happened. I just realized one day that I'd never fully seen the movies, so I sat down and watched them, fell in love, and then sat down and played the Telltale game, and fell in love more. (Young Emmett is so precious.) I spent probably the majority of October reading @irisbleufic​ Mammett stories, which are fantastic, and then started writing my own. (See recent WIPS list post for the depressing number of BttF fics I started and never finished. I did finish one, at least.) (Fanart below is by Fightbeast, who is a pretty great artist =D) 

November 2016 -- November was NaNoWriMo, so I don't remember anything except wildly attempting to write my heart out. Oh, and starting to watch Yuri on Ice. Hoo, wow, that was a fun ride. My friend @tempuslunam​ came over to watch it with me every week. It was fantastic. I didn't get involved in any fic or anything though; I guess it was just good enough how it was haha. December 2016 -- In December, I was riding the end of the BttF wave and crashing head-on into the Overwatch fandom. I'd been kind of into it for months, but it just grew in Nov and Dec, and I spent the whole two weeks surrounding Christmas reading a massive and fantastic McCree/Hanzo fic called Hang the Fool. I still REALLY love the fandom, even though I'm not currently involved in reading or writing for it. McHanzo, Reaper76, and Roadrat are my main ships. God I'm so glad it's a big fandom. Most of my fandoms are usually way too small. (The picture below is Tracer; not part of my ships, but a good character, and the face of the series. She’s a cutie. =3) 

Oh, I also started reading this webcomic called Long Exposure. It’s about a gross bully with a longstanding crush on a nerd, and also they get superpowers?

Janurary 2017 -- January, I was flip-flopping between the various games I'd gotten for Christmas, and then in February I got Final Fantasy Fifteen and went totally nuts over it for the next month or two. Met @nomadsky​ through her wonderful fics, and started WAY TOO MANY of my own fics. As with BttF, I only finished one.

March 2017 - In March, I finished my longfic, Rogue, spent several days just overwhelmed about it and feeling so proud of myself and happy and empty all at the same time. Then I jumped into Mass Effect Andromeda. This was fun because a) I love the Mass Effect series, and b) I went into it without knowing anything about it. Fell in love with the beautiful alien Jaal, then was pissed because you couldn't romance him (having Nick Valentine flashbacks) even though he kept flirting with you, and then was flooded with relief because oh okay actual you can. Also fell in love with the sad story of Avitus Rix and Macen Barro, and I started writing a story about them but never finished it.

 April / June 2017 -- In April my friend came to visit, so I kind of forgot everything I was doing, and when she left I decided to hardcore get back to my writing, so I picked up that Fallout 4 Nick Valentine fic I conceptualized the previous year and did basically just that for the next few months. July 2017 -- In July, I a) accidentally remembered that I love Jak and Daxter, and minorly got back into that and started writing a fic I'd meant to write for years, and b) accidentally stumbled upon a One Piece mobile game (Treasure Cruise, which, btw, is the best OP game available for the simple reason that all the dumb side characters I love are playable) that reminded me that I love the series, and made me start rewatching that and writing more Cobymeppo fic. (Oh my LORD! I’d never seen this precious Coby until I googled it! He must have been a rare/seasonal character! I have the more common forms of them.) 

AAAAND that's pretty much where I'm at now, still kind of balancing those fandoms and quite a few older ones. Other things I watched but didn't necessarily get involved in the fandom for: -- Noragami. Stumbled upon this one without ever hearing about it on tumblr. I love it. (lol I can't believe how straight all my ships are though! And they're still so good!) I'm hoping season 3 happens eventually. -- Ore Monogatari. Saw like two clips on tumblr and instantly went, "oop, well gotta go watch that immediately." It's now one of my favorite anime, super precious. Jason even watched it with me and agrees that it's top notch.

-- Mob Psycho 100. Everyone was watching this last November-ish, and I just didn't for some reason? It's by the same author as One Punch Man, but for some reason I didn't think I was gonna like it as much? Um. But I did. Well, differently, but it's still good.

-- Wander over Yonder. It was around this time that I sat down and just tore through the first season. Cute show, but I haven't managed to watch season 2 yet, somehow.  -- The Phantom of the Opera. Like literally all I wanted to do for 2 weeks was listen to the soundtrack. BAD ASS main theme, I love it. 

Now the only thing I'm really specifically looking forward to (besides the continuation of any current series) is the movie The Shape of Water, because yes please I can always use more human/monster love, good gosh.

And there's my fandom breakdown from the past two years!!! =D =D =D Of course, I'm more than happy to go into more detail about any of them, of course. =3 (Just TRY to get me to stop talking about my interests; you can't! XD;;; )

[vertigocrime]

1 to 117. I dare you.

I’m going to fight who ever did this lmao

1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now? Idk if he likes me back as much as I like him back

2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?Hah no, kind of wished I did

3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care?Yes I would care. It’s not like i’m against it as the thing itself, I just cannot stand the smell at all.

4: Do you find it easy to trust others?Sometimes. I wouldn’t say I trust anyone. I’ve never really trusted anyone, so I guess that’s why i’m so mysterious at school lmao

5: What were you doing at 11PM last night?Talking to the guy I like and emailing a college to talk about my application.

6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?Probably @stink-burritos

7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?Dump the loser, and if he tries to comeback I’ll make him hurt really bad. Mentally and physically. Nobody hurts me like that without hurting themselves.

8: Are you close with your dad? Eh kind of. He’s an asshole.

9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right?Hah you wish, nah I didn’t.

10: What are you listening to?My parents watching Bleach downstairs

11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?Thai tea

12: Do you like hickeys?Maybe, haven’t gotten one yet, just not in a visible area I guess.

13: What time do you go to bed? It differs. Sometimes it’s 12:00am, 1:00am, or 3:00am

14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down? I don’t really depend on anyone so no

15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both? Nah, I’m fast with one hand but two hands is faster when texting

16: Do you always answer your texts?Yes unless it’s a conversation ending text

17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?No I don’t, it was hard to forgive him, but he’s a good guy

18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? like 6 hours ago

19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?My crush~~~ I like seeing his name when he texts me back

20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?I might see my crush on Wednesday

21: Is anyone else in the room with you? My cat, does he count? lol

22: Do you believe what goes around comes around? Yeah

23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now?Debatable. Loads of shit is happening right now and i’m not sure if i’m happy or if i’m sad.

24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with? Not right now

25: In the past week, have you cried?

Yes

26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing?Not wearing a shirt rn, just in my sports bra

27: Do people ever call you by your last name?No, wouldn’t mind though

28: Is anyone ignoring you right now?Probably my crush, but tbh he’s super busy doing homework so that I can go over to his place tomorrow

29: Do you have a best friend? Kind of?

30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?Yes, but we aren’t dating so it’s fine.

31: Who was your last call/text message from? My friend Jack

32: Are you mad at anyone?I’m mad at P

33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you?Pfft yes. My crush is almost 3 years older than me

34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday? 21

35: How many more days until your birthday?201 days

36: Do you have any summer plans yet?Road trip with @stink-burritos to the beach~

37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? Almost all of my friends are guys

38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now? No not really

39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?Nothing comes to mind lol

40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? No

41: Do you think age matters in relationships? tbh, no. When I was 15 I was fooling around with a 20 year old, and when I was 17 I was fooling around with a 25 year old. I genuinely liked these two guys, nobody made me like them and they didn’t manipulate me.

42: Are you available?Single? Yes, but my mind is taken over by my crush;;

43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended? high school hasn’t ended for me yet

44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?Probably my lip

45: Do you believe exes can be friends?Yeah, i’m good friends with some of my exes. See now, it’s the could-have-been’s that you can’t be friends with

46: Do you regret anything? Playing in P’s confession and saying that I liked him even though I actually didn’t

47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now? Nothing

48: Did you ever lose a best friend?Yes, twice. Still friends with both of them, but we don’t share everything with each other anymore

49: Was your last kiss a mistake?Nope!

50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?I am pursuing them

51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?No not yet

52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed?Yep!

53: What was the last thing you ate?Something like Chicken Alfredo

54: Did you get any compliments today?Maybe??? Idk I don’t remember lol

55: Where are you going on your next vacation?Disney World in April-May

56: Do you own anything from other countries?I have a few Italian souvenirs I picked up when I went there, a Vietnam shirt my parents bought me, some Chinese money, a paper bead necklace from orphans in Africa. But if I take the question literally then I own something from almost every country since stuff gets traded and imported c:

57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?Almost all guys

58: Where have you lived most of your life?Texas

59: When was the last time you took a long drive?Last semester when driving to class lol

60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?Yes

61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?Nope

62: Who do you text the most?This past 2 weeks have been my crush~~~

63: What was the last movie you saw?Madoka Magika movie the beginning

64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?I don’t have a boyfriend.girlfriend

65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011? Two

66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you? Yes, but he was only younger by a month

67: Do you curse around your parents? I did once (Nothing happened btw lol)

68: Are you happy with where you live?Yes kind of. Wouldn’t mind getting away

69: Picture of yourself?

A post shared by Elora Hale (@vertigo_crime) on Feb 27, 2017 at 6:49am PST

70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?Monogamous

71: Have you ever been dumped?Once

72: What do you most like about making out?Taking a peak at the other person’s face in between kisses when your breath is combined

73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?

Hmm no

74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other? Usually the other, i’m too shy

75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?Their face is first

76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?My crush~~

77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?I’ve never had sex

78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?I’ve never had sex

79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?My crush, I can’t stop thinking about him staring at me while I watched Pokémon and the dumb face he made when I gave him a side glance, such a cute smile ebewkjberwkgk

80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?Maybe, most likely if i’m older though, can’t handle children right now

81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?Yes

82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush? No not really, I’ve only recently grown some balls when confessing my feelings lol

83: Do you miss your last sweetie?Uh, nah?? I don’t miss my last boyfriend.

84: Last time you slow danced with someone?Forever ago so idk

85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?No I haven’t

86: How can I win your heart?Idk lol, just be you

87: What is your astrological sign?Virgo

88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?Being asleep lol

89: Do you cook?Yep!

90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication? Yes, but I usually fight for a friendship

91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?Yes, with my crush~

92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly? monogamous relationships

93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?If their eyes are beautiful, that’s the first thing. If I can stare into your eyes then hell yes. Then it’s the smile. If the smile is genuinely cute or true, then hell yes. Body type is next. I usually go for thinner guys, fit or not.

94: Name four things that you wish you had!- My crush (oooooooo)- Choi Seungcheol- tickets to a BTS fan meet- tickets to a Seventeen fan meet

95: Are you a player?I am without even knowing, why tf do so many people like me???

96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?No

97: Are you a tease?Yes, 100%

98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr? Nope!

99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone? Yes

100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?Hmm, none that I can think of

101: Hugs or Kisses?Kisses

102: Are you too shy to ask someone out? Pfft yes

103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?Their face

104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe? nrivdjkbvwbkb yes

105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?

No, i’d tell them to break it off if they want to do anything. If they’re willing to cheat then fuck no. In my opinion it’s better to leave someone for someone else than to cheat on that someone with someone else.

106: Do you flirt a lot?Unconsciously yes

107: Your last kiss?Last Wednesday 2/22/2017

108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012? LOL, nah.

109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month? Yes my crush~~

110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be?My crush~~

111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next?My crush

112: Does someone like you currently?Too many people

113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone? My crusshshhhhh

114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?I want a serious relationship, but i’m so terrible at maintaining them

115: Ever made out with just a friend?Nope

116: Are you happier single or in a relationship?A bit of both. I’m lonely when single, but I kind of feeling caged when in a relationship

117: Who are you to challenge me to answer all 117 of these???

[mou-feng-day-blog]

2017

Yeah fuck this year am I right? So I thought I’d just make this to look back on in a year or a couple. First and foremost I am doing this for me and there are many places to write this sort of stuff but tumblr has always had this twitch with me where I feel like it’s a personal space to write what the fuck is happening with you. 

September 2016 is where 2017 started for me. I have two brothers and at the time they were 21 and 10. My brothers are solid blokes ok. My parents got divorced in September 2016 and the rift between my parents grew wider and wider. My brothers took it well, the older one has a strong poker face and the younger one didn’t give a fuck and I love him them with everything I got in me. 

My dad moved out in November and only then did the reality of divorce set in, the mood in the gaf was not so good. My parents sunk pretty deep and man that is hard to say. To sum up key moments to paint the picture of the vibe at this time my dad tried to pour hot water onto his hands because he was wrought with sadness and my mum became isolationist and cold.

After the initial couple of months cleared the madness had settled down and in January we got right back to usual business, everyone goes to work and the little one goes to school. Now at this time I had failed my gardening apprenticeship and needed any job to get back on my feet so I started working in pubs because the drunkards are funny and drugs helped when I wasn’t home. 

Spring was a really weird time for me, feelings of being happy and upset fluctuated all the time and I couldn’t quite set my head straight. upset because of everything that had happened but happy because I thought if I live until the end of the year I’ll be a happier man. I was right btw. I focused on work throughout the spring, working in the night and doing drugs in the day time and I had stayed with an old pal for extended time. 

In reality I was running from everything, my family and my responsibility to them and I knew that but I couldn’t face it until my brother told me he had met someone and decided to move out in April. My brother took me out and was straight forward no-nonsense with me, he had told me that I had to become the man in the house, with my father living alone and my brothers decision to move out there would be no man in the house and mum can’t work and raise my little brother. He was right.

I started with complete detachment, I had wanted to make my family my whole world with no fluff on the outside. I had stopped being a drugged up fool and after only a few months working in the pubs I quit for a more sober work environment, I became a farmhand for a popular nearby commercial farm. Sweated my butts off everyday but I felt much better, I was off drugs and I was helping my family. I felt purpose. 

By July things were improving, we were fragile for a good bit but on the up and up. I visited my father weekly as did my brothers, birthdays were weird but what are you going to do? The summer brought smiles to everyone of us, we all realised that we weren’t the best but we were alright. 

Still July and the sun got me in the mood for a get-together with the whole family. It went brilliant the temp, the laughter and beer was fantastic. My mum and my pop laughing together made my brother cry. Just a great memory. The vibe was good, so good that my father announced he has met someone which didn’t come as a shock to me I just had a hunch. I thought my mum would be mad but she wasn’t she was just a cool cucumber. My older brother was happy and my younger brother STILL didn’t give a fuck, this kid is about that roblox life and nothing else.

August goes by, September and November go by too. Nothing but improvement from everyone. At this time everything is going pretty darn well, I was proud and I was happy but most importantly I was stable, because my family was stable. My mum had met someone else, my older brother is steady grinding and my younger brother is giving a fuck. I grew out of whatever sad shell I was in and I started to just enjoy the small things. I focused on my family and with my brothers help we straightened it out, became a team one goal one prize baby.

Christmas was memorable, I had a long chat with my dad we hugged it out and smoked a number together like father and son should. I love that man.

Which takes us to the present, never before have I felt this way. I don’t have a lot I really don’t but I got a job, a bike, a family and a passion for life and that’s all I ever really needed. Not the outside stuff, the inside stuff. So yeah 2017 was like riding an AMC Pacer though a mud track with a big shower at the end. Advice would be like don’t do drugs stay in skool and love your family, that’s all you got.

Thanks.

[alwaysrainyhere]

Because I Miss You Today, Cho Kyuhyun

The love that my heart asked Even after trying hard, the tears still flow Even I want to meet you but now Ican’t Because I just miss you today

Kyuhyun - 그냥 보고 싶어 그래 (Because I Miss You)

Lagu Kyuhyun - 그냥 보고 싶어 그래 (Because I Miss You) mengalun indah di telinga gua. Desek-desekan di KRL pun jadi gak berasa karena justru instead of feeling sesek karena di dempet gua malah sesek mengingat seseorang. Lagi ngapain ya dia disana? Udah makan belum? Kangen sama gua juga gak ya kira-kira? Untuk pertanyaan yang terakhir mungkin jawabnnya telak, enggak. Enggak mungkin.

Iya, Kyuhyun enggak  mungkin kangen sama gua. Dia mah kangen sama Seohyun #ea #otp Eh, apa malah sama Sungmin, ya? #ea #kapalkaram

Turun dari KRL, lagu udah berganti jadi Fool – Winner. Gua langsung lupa sama Kyuhyun hari itu. Tapi pas sampai rumah gua gabut, gak ada makalah atau tugas yang harus dikerjain dalam waktu dekat, gua mutusin buat nonton sesuatu. Wifi gua mau dicabut sebentar lagi. Jadi gua harus memanfaatkan waktu tersisa untuk menamatkan series Detective Conan dan nonton film.

Tapi entah kenapa tangan gua bergerak untuk membuka kshownet dan meng-klik NJTW season 3.

New Journey To The West, gua nonton season 1 yang masih ber 4. Hodong,, Jiwon, Sugeun dan Seunggi. Asli kocak abis gua ngakak mulu. Dan pas season 2 gua gabegitu ngeh padahal ada Ahn Jaehyun udah masuk gantiin Seunggi. Baru deh, season 3 ini menarikperhatian gua. Kenapa?

2 BIAS GUA MENNNNN DISATUKAN. SONG MINO DAN KYUHYUN?????//!!!1

Gua gak minta loh, sumpah. Maksudnya gua sama sekali ga ngarep tapi tau-tau disatukan aja tuh anak berdua. Kan gua gaenak bro takutnya Mino sama Kyuhyun berantem lagi karena gua. Tau si Kyuhyun maen sama Dujun aja gua uda seneng enggak karuan. Lah ini?

But the important question bagi orang orang mungkin, SEJAK KAPAN KYUHYUN BIAS LU?

*

BAB I

PENDAHULUAN

A. Latar Belakang

LAH KOK JADI MAKALAH SI?

Oke, kita kembali ke 5 tahun yang lalu. Iya cuy, lu gak salah liat. 5 Tahun yang lalu, 2012 sekitar bulan April apa Mei ya? Gua  lupa jelasnya sih kayanya Mei. Kelar ss4 di Indonesia gua tertarik untuk mendalami Super Junior. Gua udah tau Suju dari  lamaaaaa karena temen maen gua pada  ngefans sama Yesung. Gua sih kala itu masih ngefans MUSE dan western artist gitudeh. Gua gak ada niat untuk banting stir ke Kpop walaupun gua udah nonton BBF waktu SD.

Eunhyuk emang dateng di waktu yang tepat.  April tuh gua baru aja putus dari mantan gua. Lu tau  lah ya orang yang kebiasa smsan sama pacar terus putus. Lu pikir gua ga gabut? Gabut! Maka dari itu gua mulai iseng, buka twitter follow SMSG. Duh masih ada gak sih SmentSalahGaul di twitter? Tq loh btw kalian udah berjasa menjebloskan gua ke dunia kpop yang cerah ini. Nah abis gua follow SMSG yang pada masa jayanya emang kocak banget sampe bikin agency RP, gua juga cari facts Suju. Dan jatohlah pilihan gua, Lee Hyukjae.

When I quietly look at you I remember all those countless days

The mornings and nights that were all about you Now it’s become a habit

Kyuhyun (Super Junior) – One Confession (사랑이 숨긴 말들)

Gua sampe sekarang kalo ditanya kenapa ngefans Eunhyuk dulu, gua gatau. Ya karena sayang itu gabutuh alesan. Kalau alesan itu ilang ya sayangnya ilang juga. Itu aliran yang gua anut. If i really have to tell 1 reason, mungkin karena gummy smile dia. Lu tau gak sih kalo senyum dia sampe gusi-gusinya keliatan juga tapi gak tonggos? Senyum lebar banget kaya anak kecil. Gua suka gusinya dia yang keliatan itu, menandakan dia seneng banget. Dia juga punya nama twitter yang keren, AllRiseSilver yang sampe sekarang gua gak tahu artinya. Ohya! Jangan lupa juga choco, guguk kesayangan dia yang kecil dan gemash!

Tadi katanya gak ada alesan.

Eunhyuk had this stereotype going around him back then kalau dia yadong alias mesum. Walau gua gak pernah menyaksikan langsung mesum dia dimana. I mean, kalo koleksi film porno ya wajar aja kali? Semua boygroup pasti pernah nonton bareng-bareng?

Oh foto dia yang sama IU? Yang shirtless #ea #gosip #hoaxitu

Eunhyuk tuh mungkin konyol tapi konyol/lawaknya dia ketutup kalau ada Heechul, ini jelas tidak bisa dibantah. Eunhyuk kalo gak ada yang meratiin dia pendiem gitu anaknya. Kalo disuruh ya nurut. Gak ada deh sifat-sifat mesumnya. Pokoknya baik dan WE MUST PROTECT HIM AT ALL COST!

Tapi sayangnya, hubungan(?) gua dan Eunhyuk gabegitu lama. Cuma sebulan/ dua bulan gitu. Bukan, bukan karena Eunhyuk tau-tau confirm sama Hyoyeon apalagi IU. Tapi karena ada cowo lain yang ngepho-in hubungan kita. Cowo yang effortless tapi tau-tau gua kerebut aja gitu? Tau-tau gua jadi suka aja sama dia.

Cho Kyuhyun.

Do you remember The moment we first met? Even after time I can’t forget that moment

Kyuhyun – Love In Time (시절인연)

Cho Kyuhyun dateng dengan semena-mena ngusir Hyukjae dari sebuah fanfic. FANFIC SODARA-SODARA. Bukan karena gua liat video dia nyanyi terus gua mulai tinggalin Hyukjae yang ngerapp doang. Bukan karena gua liat video Kyuhyun on stage lalu sadar Kyuhyun lebih ganteng dari Hyukjae. Bukan karena gua nonton varshow juga.

Karena fanfic.

Iya.

Kyumin lagi.

Gua lupa nama fanficnya apa, tapi di fanfic itu Kyuhyun keliatan sangat manly, ssangnamja, cowo cool. Padahal aslinya mah yehhhh avatarnya aja telor ungu. Ngetweet jarang. Ngepost foto gaya aegyo. Memang ya manipulasi manusia itu...

Now I’m talking to myself Saying how much I really loved you Sorry for starting first But the moment I first saw you Your smile made my heart stopped You made me freeze

Kyuhyun – Blah Blah

Gua lebih memperdalam facts soal Kyuhyun. Sampai pada kejadian kecelakaan yang nimpa dia. Gua udah lupa tentu kalo disuruh menceritakan kembali karena baca satu paragraf aja gua udah sedih. Gak kuat. Kyuhyun juga gamau keinget masa-masa itu lagi. Jadi mari lupakan.

Diantara suju KRY, gua suka suara Kyuhyun, Yesung baru Ryeowook. Kyuhyun kalo nyanyi kaya aer, ngalir aja gitu. Kaga berasa dia nyanyi. Pokoknya kalo denger dia nyanyi gua ber, “Hah udah? Lagi dong yang!” nampaknya sih, yang terkuat di KRY adalah Yesung. But dont worrry gua tetep cinta ketiganya. Apalagi pas Ryewook nyanyiin lagu 'Separuh Aku'nya Noah di konser KRY. Kalian udah liat belom? Btw harus liat karena bagus banget. Apalagi Noah itu kan bias gua di lokal wkwkw jadi gimana si bias lu nyanyiin lagu bias lu yang lain. So happy!

Ngomong-ngomong soal lagu baik KRY dan suju itu sendiri, gua udah pernah bilang belom sih kalo album anak-anak SM itu enak-enak HANYA SAMPAI TAHUN 2013? di atas 2013 gua udah ga ngeh ciri  khas SM. Terakhir, album XOXO nya EXO beserta repackage. Sisanya, nendang di lagu utama aja. Side B tracknya bener-bener B aja. Entah kenapa loh ya. Gua kesel banget waktu SM makasain EDM-EDMan. Kemana song writer/song producer SM yang dulu? Album Super Junior dari Don Dont sampai Sexy Free and Single, gak ada satupun lagu yang gak bagus. Balladnya? Uh jangan ditanya, nangis--nangis lu. Perlu gua list-in pake chart ranking? Bisa aja. Tapi mager. Tapi seriusan. Lagu ballad Super Junior gaada yang engga bagus. Ga bagus, uang kembali dah. Begitu juga dengan SHINee. Album debut dia Replay sampe Misconception era -oke lah untuk lagu di Everybody- itu masih seru dan earcatching. Setelah itu? Odd era? Gua bahkan ga download albumnya karena ya buat apa? Gua cuma srek sama view aja.

Kembali lagi dengan hubungan gua sama kyuhyun. Kami berhasil jalan lama sampai Suju goodbye stage Sexy Free and Single. Sampe gua naik ke kelas 9 dan dapet rangking. Cuma rengking 4 sih tapi abis itu gua langsung ke mcd dan beliin diri gua sendiri makanan yang enak. Trakhir kali tu gua ke restoran fastfood dan bener-bener beli. Biasanya gua cuma nongkrong basi sampe sepi. Ya gua suka banget me time sendirian. Di sepanjang siang itu, yang berasa seolah-olah ada Kyuhyun bersama gua, gua senyam-senyum. You did a great job wth your report today, so proud of you.

Tapi memang dasar AB bosenan anaknya, ketika september gua ketemu SHINee, gua pindah hati dari Kyuhyun ke Onew. Gua ga semerta-merta lupa sama Kyuhyun. Dari 2012 sampe 2016 gua tetep follow twitter Kyuhyun, tetep tau lagu  terbaru dia, tetep tau kabar terbaru dari  dia dan acara yang dia mc in itu. Gua tetep ngeliat dia meski dari kejauhan, perumpamaannya. Di dalam hati gua, Kyuhyun masih ada. Super Junior masih ada.

Setelah melihat 2017 ini Kyuhyun mau wamil gua kaya mikir ke diri sendiri, kemana aja gua kemarin? Kenapa pas dia mau  hiatus kok gua tiba-tiba kangen lagi sama memori-memori dulu? Hari-hari dimana bacain fic Kyuhyun, facts Kyuhyun, reblog foto Kyuhyun di tumblr, berdebat dalam hati apakah harus gua ikhlasin Kyuhyun dengan Seohyun, dan semacamnya. I miss those gold days, tapi kenapa baru sekarang? Kenapa selama rentang 4 tahun kurang lebih gua gabanyak bikin memori soal Kyuhyun? Kenapa gua baru tau kalo dia anaknya gak suka ribet dan gakbisa diburu-buruin?

I love you, who is as clear as the rain The one person I want to hold onto, taking my breath away Just like a dream, just like now

Kyuhyun (Super Junior) – The Day We Felt The Distance (멀어지던 날)

Rasa sayang gua ke Kyuhyun tuh kaya sayang kpopers alay ke biasnya. Gua sayang betulan ke Kyuhyun as a man. Kalo ke bias-bias lain sebagai contoh bias di bangtan, exo, winner dll tuh ya biasa aja sayangnya bahkan gapake rasa sayang juga gak apa-apa. Tapi Kyuhyun lain, Kyuhyun ngajarin semua hal tentang hidup ini dari kisah-kisahnya walaupun ya.. Andup juga, Onew juga, dengan leadershipnya dll.

Nyokap gua pernah bilang, buat apasih ngefans-ngefans sampe sayang gitu? Toh yang bayarin spp kuliah gua bukan Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun juga gak tau gua nafas apa engga.  Tapi gua akan menggunakan kata-kata yang berhasil menipu banyak orang, cinta gak harus memiliki. Gua gak apa-apa, cinta sendirian,peduli sendirian, bahkan gak dengan idola aja, dengan orang yang jelas-jelas tau gua idup juga gua begitu kok. Gua seneng peduli dengan orang lain, gua seneng mendoakan kebahagian orang lain. Gua seneng liat orang lain bahagia dan sukses. Memang perasaan kaya gini justru jadi boomerang buat orang itu sendiri. Paling banyak kasusnya adalah dimanfaatin. Ya, gua sering dimanfaatin orang dan guapun tahu gua sedang dimanfaatkan but i  just let it go kalau gua bener-bener muak gua akaan pergi. As long as orang yang manfaatin gua said thanks afterwards, ill stay.

Gua berpikir, bagaimana kalo Kyuhyun gakuat wamilnya? Walau dengan riwayat penyakit yang dia milki dia akan ditempatkan di divisi yang cetek-cetek. Setau gua, Kyuhyun itu gak wajib wamil karena ya itu, riwayat penyakit. But he still do it as a gentlemen that wants to protect his country. Dia ga mau ketika -ya amit-amit sih- peperangan dia akan diem aja gabisa melalukan apa-apa karena dia gak punya pengalaman militer. He wants to fight also. Dia mau menujukkan ke Seohyun bahwa dia adalah lelaki yang berani. #UNGKITTEROS

730 hari tanpa Kyuhyun? How? Bisakah kita?

Atau mungkin,

bisakah gua?

*

Bisa lah, lebay bat. Justru selagi Kyuhyun wamil kita selingan aja ama yang laen. Iya gak?

Kaga. Becanda ya ini.

Gua cuma punya poster official Suju yang SFS itu. Gua gak berkontribusi banyak di fandom. Gua ga se pro Sparkyu yang lain. Gua ga bersama Kyuhyun di beberapa tahun belakangan but i still love him and super junior the same. Gua gak kacang lupa kulit. Diantara semua grup yang gua stan, gua tetep menganggap Super Junior lah yang paling the best. Oke, Bigbang juga. Karena kalo gaada Suju dan juga Bigbang, percaya deh, lu gaakan kenal BTS, EXO apalagi bocah-bocah ijo di Produce 101. Walau Hallyu atau Korean Wave juga karena PSY dan artis YG dan artis agensi lain but Suju juga berperan besar dalam hallyu wave ini. Makanya gua suka heran kalo ada yang mengagungkan boyband rookie yang gua sebut di atas. Pake king-kingan lah atau queen of the kpop segala lah. Only 90's kid know who's the real king and quuen in KPOP. Bukan suatu grup, bukan solois, tetapi mereka. Mereka semua yang ada berusaha membesarkan hallyu wave. So u peasants and child better thank them u fuck lil shit.

So, how do i say...

Lu mungkin gaakan baca ini yun tapi  bae-bae ya di sono di tempat wamil. Good to see u botak bro. Akhirnya.. bosen gua liat lu ponian mulu kek boyben ruki. Sampe ketemu 25 april 2019 (iye kan ye) dan begitu keluar wamil, langsung lah lamar Seohyun #WOYMASIHAJA Makan yang sehat-sehat aja. Lu udeh gak drop-drop kan yun? Ah udela, jan kelemar-kelemer lo disono! Yang manly! Kalo tidur gausah pake perawatan ilah langsung aje banjur ma aer!

With lope,

piyapyong

Tonight, with your million pieces You fill up the deepest parts of my heart Only you can gather up my broken heart So the deepest parts of this night are filled with your light

Kyuhyun – A Million Pieces