#this is about a lot of things but right now it's about 'uprooted'

[johanna-swann]

I'm still so disappointed with 911. Like yes, seaon 7 was messy, but the opening disaster was great and they got a few really interesting storylines rolling despite the very difficult circumstances.

But then they got renewed really early. The conditions were lining up perfectly, everything was falling into place. And yet season 8(a) is so much worse than season 7. Just look at where we left the characters in season 7 and where they are now.

Hen (and by extension Karen) was stuck with the custody battle storyline again, but for the first time there was an antagonist involved who had not only a personal vendetta but also the power to exact her revenge on a big scale while at the same time the very same conflict also had the potential to drive a huge wedge between Hen and Chim while they try to work out their weird patchwork situation.

But all of that got resolved in a single episode that also somehow had to fit random calls, Eddie's C-plot, their weird obsession with Hotshots and whatever Bobby and Gerrard had going on. And then this very personal vendetta between Hen and Ortiz wasn't even ended by them. It wasn't Ortiz giving up / forgiving Hen or Hen defeating Ortiz fair and square, no. Bobby and Gerrard who have never even had a scene with Mara got to safe the day. And then neither Ortiz nor this storyline ever get mentioned again.

Bobby lost his job, had a major health crisis, was borderline suicidal and lost his house last season.

Then we meet him in season 8 and he's just okay, mentally and physically, he gets his job back very conveniently automatically in one swoop together with Ortiz being dealt with. The rebuilding of the house is mentioned in one episode and never again.

Athena was really worried about Bobby by the end of season 7, her son moved back in with her after having spend the last couple of years at his dad's, she also lost her home and she once again went rogue as a cop.

In season 8 she's no longer worried about Bobby, everything is okay, there are no consequences for her actions job-wise, as I said the house thing isn't really talked about and Harry? Nobody knows what happened to him.

Eddie had the whole Shannon-Marisol-Kim thing blow up in his face with huge consequences. I expected him to go back to therapy, to maybe argue with his parents, to talk to Buck or Hen about losing Christopher like this, to maybe spiral a little and finally unpack the Shannon trauma.

Instead he mentions every now and then how his son is in El Paso right now, but doesn't really get into it, he lives his everyday life as per usual, doesn't seem particularly down or stressed tbh, he doesn't go to therapy, he doesn't talk about Shannon, he doesn't talk to his parents outside of one small exposition scene in 8x01, doesn't try to talk to Christopher about what happened. Instead he talks to a priest once which has the amazing effect that he dances in his house in his underwear once. I'm sure that fixed him. Oh, also he may be uprooting his life again without talking to anyone about it. Okay.

Are Chimney and Maddie even still main characters at this point? Sure, they have a lot of screentime and they had their wedding episode last season. They also temporarily took in Mara.

But despite fostering Mara, they had nothing at all to do with the little Ortiz related drama we got. They were just. There. In the background of a few scenes. I guess. We also don't see them adjusting to being married now or talk about what the future might hold for them now. They just accidentally got pregnant AGAIN and didn't really talk about the risks and implications and so on here either. It was brought up very briefly, but there was so much potential for actual discussion there instead of a one-off conversation.

Buck's the only one whose season 7 storyline really got picked up again a little. He discovered he's not straight and got himself a boyfriend last season.

They (briefly) showed us how that relationship continued - and then very abruptly ended in a very strange way. But once again they didn't pick up the queer topic. They treated Tommy like they would any other love interest which would be fine if Buck's sexuality was already established. But as a matter of fact it is not. Buck only recently discovered he's queer and we haven't seen any of the stuff that usually comes with the package. Are the Buckley parents okay with this? Has Buck chosen a label? Did he and Hen ever share a moment of solidarity? Was dating another man all of the sudden a big adjustment?

I fell in love with 911 because they had great characters, but right now the show is doing fuck all with those characters. They're all running in circles and even worse maybe, the characters feel less connected to each other than ever. Like. I'll keep up with the show via tumblr osmosis, but the show didn't deliver on a single thing in 8a. They literally did nothing right.

[merthosus]

Blank minds

@selfishlittlebeing asked:

Hi! So basically I just read every single one shot on this blog. And I am obsessed with your work. And I gotta admit that, “Wounded nights” did things to me.🧍🏼��♀️

I’m not sure if I am requesting or smth (if you’d like to write this I wouldn’t protest, but feel free to just ponder on this with me). But like… I can’t get the image of touch starved Five out of my head. Bcs…damn. Him holding the reader in his arms like that (WN)… but can you imagine HIM having a vulnerable moment because of all that stuff with the Commission and apocalypses, just the trauma package yk. And after all those years…just Five being vulnerable with someone and touch starved.🥲 I am making myself feel depressed with all this. Wanna be depressed with me?🎀

Summary: After Luthers wedding, most of the siblings already gone to bed. You didn't feel like drinking, but loved to watch the others drown their sorrows into liquor and just have fun. Just as you were about to fall into a deep sleep, a knock on your door pulls you out of your slumber.

Thank you for your lovely request! Also, here a sexy poster from Five I fell in love with! With every purchase you automatically support me :) https://amzn.to/3yGK6Fm

“Since everything will be dust soon anyway, you won't mind if I just lie down here for a while, will you?”

You're up to your nose under your eiderdown, with only the sound of collapsing buildings coming through your window. It may sound crazy to others, but for you, it's been part of everyday life for a week. Counting every second, spending the last time with your family and savoring it. There is nothing more precious than time. Money has no value anymore, but the ticking hands of the grandfather clock do have.

Your thoughts hover over your head like gray clouds. Since the first day you slept in that hotel bed, falling asleep felt like hell. You tried a lot to finally fall asleep normally again. But every time you closed your eyes, you were met with nightmares, worse than you could ever have imagined. You were sure that this couldn't be the end, it simply couldn't be.

Like every night, you try to push the thoughts aside, to repress them as if they had never been there. But a loud and uneven knocking jolts you out of your sleep like a thunderstorm. You startle awake and clutch at the sheets of your bed. “Yes!” you shout, but it sounded more like a question than an encouragement. You watch every movement, sharper than Diego's blades. As Five stumbles in, you let out a breath you didn't even released you were holding. 

“You scared me,” you mumble. "I scared you, so please, why should anyone be scared of me?" he says to himself. Any blind person would have recognized that Five had probably had a little too much to drink at Luther's wedding. Five doesn't finish the sentence and drops his head down as he continues to mumble to himself. After he fell back against the door, you gave him a worried look. “Thanks for closing the door, but I think you have a concussion now,” I smirk to myself. Five starts to giggle. “The world is coming to an end,” he says, and pushes away from the door again.

You look out of the window that separated you from the crumbling outside world. Instead of bright sunshine, dark red fire dazzles your eyes, bricks fly off buildings and trees uproot themselves. “No, really?” you ask him sarcastically as you turn back to him. You suppress your horror as he suddenly stands right in front of you. He holds on to the edge of your bed. You think about how he managed to approach you so quietly, the alcohol in his blood must be enough to put a chimpanzee down.

“Since everything will be dust soon anyway, you won't mind if I just lie down here for a while, will you?” he asks as he tries to climb onto the bed. “Five, eh?” you ask as you hold him down so he doesn't slide off. He awkwardly pushes himself over your legs, which elicits a small squeak from your mouth. “You're really rough, Five,” you complain, but you just couldn't help the smile on your face.

You had never seen Five so shameless. Five, who is usually so strong and independent, asks you if he can lie down with you for a moment. As you think about it for a moment, you briefly doubt your sanity. Was this a fever dream? But Five's careless hand movement presses your torso so hard into the mattress beneath you that you're sure it would have shaken you awake. “I've never seen you so awkward,” you squeeze your words out of the pain. “I'm sorry, but your bed is sooo soft,” he lulls to himself. You shake your head and stifle the comment that the beds here were all the same.

“Five, why are you really here?” you ask him. He lies down on his stomach and presses his head into your pillow. He mumbles his words into the fabric so that you can only guess what he's saying. “I don't understand a word, you stupid…” you grumble to yourself as you grab a tuft of his hair and push his head to the side. 

Five groans softly as you move his head, his eyes half-lidded and unfocused. You wait for him to speak, but it seems like he’s struggling to find the right words. He’s always been the one with the sharp tongue, the quick wit, and seeing him like this—vulnerable and slightly lost—pulls at something deep inside you.

“I didn’t want to be alone,” he finally mutters, his voice slurred but honest. “I’ve been alone for so long... and I guess I’m tired of it.” His words are a confession, raw and unguarded, much like the state he's in now. You’ve seen Five in many situations—fighting, strategizing, leading—but this is different. This is Five without his armor, without the walls he usually keeps so firmly in place.

You feel a pang in your chest, a mix of sadness and empathy. You’ve always known there was more to him than the ruthless time-traveling assassin he often portrayed himself to be. But hearing him admit his loneliness is something else entirely. "I understand you, Five," you say. He smiles and sightly closes his eyes. "I didn't want to be alone too, so I am happy that you are here now, I would've preferred sober Five, but this is also ok", you smile at him. 

You let your body fall back into your pillows, Five, who was still lying on his stomach, watching you. You put your head to one side and just look at him motionlessly. “Promise you won't tell anyone about the following?” he asks you. You don't understand exactly what he means. “I hardly think I have enough time left to tell anyone anything,” you say, with an unintentional sweep of sadness. “Promise” he whispers to you, while looking at you with begging eyes. Not only the pungent smell of alcohol, but also his seriousness to fly in your face. “I won't tell anyone,” you promise. Without warning, Five starts to move again. He pushed your arm up and curled up on your chest, like a cat looking for warmth.

Seeing five like this was new and made you very afraid to admit it to yourself. He cared so much about maintaining his strong, unbreakable personality that his current behavior frightened you. Despite the unfamiliar feeling of five so close to you, you almost automatically put your arms around his slender torso. His fingers slide onto the sides of your torso, clutching on it as if it was a matter of life or death.

"Five, what's wrong?", you ask him. "I am fucking scared", he lulls. His confession hangs in the air, heavy with the weight of his vulnerability. You can feel your heart rate quicken, the tension in the room shifting as you process his words. It’s a rare glimpse into the inner workings of Five’s mind, and the openness is both unsettling and intimate.

“Scared of what exactly?” you ask gently. “Everything,” he replies, his voice barely above a whisper. “The end of it all… the not knowing". The tremor in his voice sends a shiver down your spine, and you can't help but tighten your hold on him. You want to reassure him, to tell him that everything will be okay, but the truth is you’re scared too. The world outside is crumbling, and the future feels uncertain for both of you. 

He shifts slightly, looking up at you with his tired eyes. “I don’t want to let anyone down. Not you, not the others. I’ve messed up so many times already.” His voice is tinged with a mix of regret and fear, and you can see the conflict waging within him. “If we lose, at least we'll lose together,” you say. It didn't really sound encouraging, but you couldn't think of anything better. “Do you think you'll regret this tomorrow?” you whisper without looking at him. 

Five’s grip on your chest tightens just a little, and you can feel the slight shivering in his body as he processes your words. The silence that follows feels heavy, filled with the weight of the world outside and the vulnerability between you. “No,” he finally murmurs, his voice soft but resolute. “I won’t regret this. I might not remember every detail of tonight, but I’ll remember the way it felt to finally....", you wait for him to end his sentence. 

"feel you", he says, so quietly that you almost missed it.. There is a silence in the room, your body is no longer able to move. Your brain needs some time to process his words. “I went too far, I'm sorry I…” he tries to apologize. He pushes away from your body and leans on his arms. But before he can finish his sentence and move away from you completely, you put your hands around his face and crash your lips into his. 

The moment your lips meet Five’s, time seems to suspend itself. The world outside, with its crumbling chaos, fades into the background, leaving just the two of you in this small, intimate bubble. His initial shock quickly melts away, and he responds with a tentative but heartfelt kiss. His lips are soft and warm, and the urgency in his movements gradually transforms into something more tender and searching.

As you pull away slightly, you can see the surprise in his eyes, mingled with a hint of relief and something deeper that he might not fully understand himself. You’re both breathing heavily, the gravity of the moment settling in. “I didn’t want to...,” Five starts to say, but you place a finger gently over his lips, silencing him. “Don’t,” you whisper, your voice barely more than a breath.

“You don’t have to apologize. Not now. Not ever.” Five’s expression softens, and he looks at you with a mixture of awe and vulnerability. “I’ve been so caught up in trying to control everything, in fighting against the end, that I forgot about what really matters. I didn’t realize... I didn’t realize how much I needed this, how much I needed you.”

Feel free to tell me in the comments, what you think :)

[natalchartnurtures]

PAC: Energy Check~ for wherever you are right now

This was completely unplanned but frankly spirit doesn't give a fuck about my plans. So if this found you, here are some messages you probably need right now-

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pile 1: Ooh.. as I was preparing to start your reading, I saw 11:11 as the Chariot card showed up for you. This. Tells me that you are pretty strongly connected to your divine path right now, which simply means that you're doing something that's keeping you in alignment, sweet pile one! Good job! Keep going down this road because you WILL stumble upon amazing experiences and people! This message is coming through quite strongly. Now, isn't that lovely? Hehe.

Here's the thing, though.. Although you're actually IN alignment with your greatest timeline and life, you seem to be completely UNAWARE of the fact! You might be going through the necessary purging emotionally and/or mentally as a result of this alignment since the "old stuff" has no more room in your new vibration anymore. So, you've probably had to go through some intense endings and/or tower moments in life lately and THIS has left you feeling really, really sad. Maybe even depressed. For some of you, if that's the case, please seek help, sweet soul. It doesn't have to be therapy but even as simple as talking to a trusted loved one, you know? Or even journaling about it could help if you're into it. It seems like you could use a new perspective on the things you're going through right now. I'm sensing that you might be feeling emotionally numb right now too, but that's because you've been doing a lot of emotional processing lately AND IT'S ALL PAYING OFF. I just need you to know that. You just can't see it right now because you're slap dead in the middle of the storm, and I'm looking at it from a bird's eye view, you know?

While you're purging old stuff, I also see you making your way through an old core belief - "I gotta work hard to be deserving of anything because I inherently don't" Or something along those lines. You may have started purging this belief as a result of life showing you that it's simply not something worth keeping alive inside you. Maybe recently, you caught yourself overworking yourself to death only to receive very little in return (in any area of your life - relationships included) and this experience helped you wake up to this unhelpful belief of yours. You're unlearning this belief as we speak. It's not easy though, but I CAN assure you, you're acing it.

If you find yourself worrying too much about anything and everything or simply feeling a general fear, just know that it's a normal reaction to having things uprooted in your life. Life, right now, is asking you to do your best to focus on what's right in front of you because if you do this, the future is guaranteed to sort itself out. I promise.

I love you so much, pile 1. I see all your hard work and am rooting for you SO hard, bro. Love and light.

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Pile 2: Seems like to me that y'all have been STUCK in a particular pattern for a while now, maybe years? For some of you folks reading? Let me spell it out for you what this pattern looks like to me - an imbalance of the mind and heart. Too much mind and too little heart. Maybe none at all.

I can't seem to tap into the root of this imbalance, maybe because it's different for each of you reading, OR maybe it's not relevant to us right now because you can simply begin to address this imbalance as you see it in your day-to-day. But I sense that you're really good at addressing things, so once you're conscious of this pattern going on subtly in the background, running your life, you can really do something about this. This pattern may show up as you struggling with feeling fear, and this is blocking you off to one very important thing fear is here to show us, and that is how to support ourselves. If we are afraid of something we desire and have a healthy relationship with fear, we go for the desire while caretaking our fear. I read a quote the other day, it said "Do that thing you love but if you find that you're scared, then go do it scared." The point I'm trying to make is, fear isn't going to go away on its own, it's you who will simply expand your ability to hold space for it AND your desires equally. When you figure out how to do this, magic will happen in your life. You'll find that your unwillingness to caretake your fear only gave you more things to be afraid of (because, hello, Law Of Attraction *lol*), BUT you'll also find that when you radically start taking responsibility for your fear(s), you'll be able to act from a wiser space and be your full badass self. You'll find that there are so many things you CAN do and so much life you CAN live. Everything you've wanted to start doing in life will start to happen almost seamlessly. It WILL surprise you big time. You're currently making your way through an important part of your healing, and that is to hold yourself in all your glory. To hold all parts of yourself, even the ones that are scared shitless. Once you've integrated this segment of your healing, SO many doors will unlock for you. Sweet soul, you have no clue of JUST HOW MANY. And this… is probably because you manifest with your heart primarily (meaning you feel things deeply and so you unknowingly tap into the frequency of what you want easily) and your fear is keeping you stuck in your head, which means you're only 40% of the full You right now, PRIOR the healing of c. You might even feel it sometimes. You might feel like you're only a shell of a person (been there myself, you're not alone in this!). Listen to that feeling. Your truth lies in there. You're meant to be the 100% you, and I see that you're already halfway there!

I love you so much, pile 2, sending you so much light and love. Hope you find the resources you need to make it through to your new life where you live in more love than fear.

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Pile 3: Man… y'all been fighting for your lives, huh? I see that you may be in the midst of a lot of divinely evoked darkness? Lol, I literally heard that - divinely evoked darkness. Maybe you're going through a dark night of the soul, perhaps? Whatever your're going through though, it seems like you've been hanging on for dear life.

Some good news for you- no matter the circumstances you're in right now (be it good, bad, or terrible), you've been doing all the work necessary to keep your head above water and have been diligently nurturing your own light, positivity, and essence. THAT'S incredible resilience, sweet pile 3, and I'm really proud of you! It's not easy to keep an open heart through bad times, and that's such a grand achievement in my eyes. UGH, BEAUTIFUL.

Your energy SCREAMS transition period vibes. You seem to be neither in your "old" timeline nor in the new one yet. You're sorta hanging in the middle right now. I see the Hanged Man in the third eye as I tell you this. Feels like you're in the void right now, and things just seem… bleh. Boring. Colorless. This is probably because you're already done with the ugly part of the process, "the divine shakeups", the loss, and the purge. Think… the bland but peaceful feeling you feel after having an intense ugly crying session, you know? Yeah, you're energetically there right now. You'll probably be here for a while longer because you've let go of MAJOR stuff, pile 3. Did you let go of people recently, maybe? Or that old bad habit, perhaps? That was the purge, so to speak. And now you're in the aftermath of it all, the uncomfortable but necessary calm.

-Side note: You might've struggled to embody your divine feminine earlier, but the timeline you're entering right now is the exact opposite of that. You might be attracted towards things that will help you nurture your own divine feminine right now. Give into it. Nurture patience, stillness, and compassion for self. It will HOPEFULLY speed up the void period if you consciously take part in it, you know?-

You're quite emotionally intelligent, and it has guided you throughout the whole process, and it also seems like it ain't your first rodeo in the process of proverbial death and rebirth. Good on you because you're doing a real good job keeping your calm through venturing into the unknown. You know what? You remind me of Elsa from Frozen, taking on the unknown like it belongs to her. You are such a queen, omg.

Yep, all that's left to do now is celebrate yourself, pile 3! Try your best to embrace this period, the void, and you'll be on your way to your next happy adventure! Love and light, sweet soul. Thanks for sharing your energy with me today.

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[runfromthemedic]

Danny Phantom adopts more kids than Bruce Wayne

I’ve seen a lot of fics going around about how Danny will get summoned as the Ghost King via cultist and dpxdc fics going around and I had an idea.

So Danny (ages 14-16 ish depending) gets summoned a lot, and in those summoning's there is usually a sacrifice. Normally, if the sacrifices are kidnapped adults and the like Danny beats up the cultist and just lets the sacrifices go.

But what happens when the sacrifices are younger?

A literal child gets offered up, a soul contract binding them to Danny (probably as a slave or food or whatever, I just think like John Constantine’s contracts but without the con). Danny still beats up the cultist but now he has a kid with a soul contract that he can’t break without severe backlash happening to the kid and there already pretty hurt form the cultist.

Panicking and worried about the kid, Danny seals the contract but with some adjustments, so now for all intent and purposes he now has a kid. 

Danny takes the kid back to the Far Frozen for Frostbite to heal, constantly sending calming emotions to his new kid while panic texting Sam and Tucker they had a kid now and spamming Jazz with questions on how to parent.

Many freak-outs and logistic family meetings later and they’ve worked out a relatively (more like half-way) decent plan for parenting. The kid is very happy with the new and loving parents and auntie and things calm down as much as things can with three liminal teenagers, a half-dead one, and a elementary schooler can between parenting, going to school, ghost king duties, and hiding all of this from Jack and Maddie. 

Danny cries the first time the tot called him Dad. Sam and Tucker record this for blackmail. Danny gets even when Sam and Tucker breakout the waterworks when they get called Mom and Pops.

And then a few months later another summoning happens, this time with a 17 year old. They get adopted.

Five months after that, another summoning, this time with two 12 year old's. They get adopted.

Thirteen months after that, another summoning. The kids 15. Adopted.

Two months after that, summoning and there’s three of them. All adopted.

By the time Danny, Sam, and Tucker are about to hit college age they have thirteen kids give or take.  All of them call the Trio Dad, Mom, and Pops. Doesn’t matter if some of the kids are older. Team Phantom are the best parents most of them have ever had. Age is blatantly ignored in most situations. Dani is considered the oldest. The first adopted kid is considered the second oldest, etc.

Danny’s castle in the Infinite Realms has a room for all of this kids and portals going out into different dimensions depending on where the summoning happened. The Trio didn’t want to completely uproot any of their kids lives so they make sure all of the kids have the right records, access to schooling, etc. 

Cue two of the kids (maybe three if you want John Constantine drunkenly auctioning off his at the time non-existent first born, accidents happen, the whole hodgepodge family has a understanding to punch Constantine on sight if they ever see him on their siblings/sons behalf) being from the DC universe.

Older of the two goes to Gotham U (I think studying communications, politics, philosophy etc to be able to help Danny with his Ghost Kind Duties) and the younger getting a scholarship to the fancy rich kid school Damian attends. 

Danny’s kids are about as liminal as they can get between the adoption contract, all of the ectoplasm exposure, and the kids all living in the Infinite Realms the majority of the time. Damian and the younger get along like a house on fire be cause they have similar interest based on life. I think the older sibling somehow befriends Tim Drake, Tim possible develops a crush.

Batman is very paranoid about the two possibly metas around his kids

[transformers-spike]

hey! been reading all your stuff and absolutely love what you do. i got an idea regarding team prime having their first christmas party at the base (june insisted), and they’re each introduced to the concept of kissing under mistletoe

I'm going for something where the reader is already in a relationship with the bot of choice. It's mostly just cute interactions with a hint of spice mid post.

Optimus takes it rather well considering… everything. He’s got a team to lead, a dead planet on his conscience and a homoerotic rivalry with his ex-best friend/murderous dictator who’s obsessed with him. Life could be a lot better right now. But it also could be a lot worse. He’s content watching from the sidelines as his fellow Autobots enjoy a new part of Earth culture. Don’t mind him, he’ll join in once his work is done. For now the best he can do is flash you an encouraging smile as you fail to string out the Christmas lights for the fifth time in a row – you can do it, he believes in you. He tries his best to seem oblivious when you climb the ladder June is holding still (the ultimate wingwoman), keeping a close optic behind the terminal just in case things go south and he has to catch you. When you call his name with the goofiest smile on your face, he beams at you, equal parts pride and cute aggression. “Hey,” you drawl, doing your best to seem as charming as possible while holding on for dear life on the only thing stopping you from plummeting to the ground. “So there’s this Christmas tradition you may not have heard about…” He attentively listens to the explanation, nodding his helm and faking surprise when he hears what mistletoes entail. His spark stutters in his chassis when you ask him, sheepishly averting your gaze, if he’d like to partake in this human tradition. He graciously accepts, hovering a servo over your frame (in case you stumble back in shock) and leans in for you to initiate the kiss. Yes, Miko told him. Yes, she ruined the surprise. No, he won’t tell you because he’s never seen you happier getting to kiss him.

Ratchet is unimpressed. At least that’s what he wants you to believe. He’s so invested in decorating he spends every minute off work painstakingly stringing obnoxiously bright garlands around the railings and holding the kids in his servos to reach the highest branches of the gigantic and possibly illegally uprooted Christmas tree. He’s complaining about the time he will waste taking down the decorations, but everyone in the base knows damn well he’s going to keep them on as long as he can. You don’t even have to bring up the mistletoe, he’s overheard enough from the crappy Holiday-themed movies the kids have been watching to secretly crank up the charm while scoffing on the outside. You’re watching the kids place the final touches on the tree, a mug of eggnog in one hand while helping yourself to some Santa-shaped sugar cookies. You barely notice Ratchet leaning in with a minuscule strand of mistletoe between his massive digits. It takes a moment for you to understand, what with the plant being nigh invisible in his servo. Finally, you swallow thickly and stand on your tippy toes (on the couch no less) to reach his intake. The kiss is the longest he’s ever experienced up until now, and while he has the kissing abilities of a dying fish, he melts into it while you forget how to breathe.

Bulkhead is clearly enjoying himself, watching bad Christmas dramas with the kids, trying to figure out how to remix old carols with Miko adding a rock (and occasionally death metal) twist. It’s simultaneously the funniest and most mind-boggling Holiday celebration anyone has ever experienced, add Wheeljack into the mix and now Ratchet is watching these two like a hawk in case they roughhouse too much and crush the Christmas tree. Miko would actually love to see that, and you and Bulkhead both have to be the responsible adults of the situation and try to keep the damage at a minimum while Wheeljack acts like the world’s worst influence on a teenager. By Primus, Bulkhead is actually tempted to join it, and now you have to reel in two grown adult mechs eons your senior and one 15 year old girl. Primus save you. And yet, beyond all expectations, said 15 year old girl is your wingwoman for the evening, which is simultaneously humiliating and a godsend. When she pulls out the plastic mistletoe from her pocket and holds it over you and Bulkhead’s heads from her vantage point on his neck, a move she’s been planning months in advance, your soul exits your body. The staring contest between you and her robot dad breaks only when Miko urges you to do something at least. The kiss is short and sweet, Bulkhead is screaming inside during the whole ordeal no matter how brief, hoping to Primus he didn’t somehow kiss you so badly during a five second interval you’re willing to break up with him. Nah, you’re blushing so intensely June thinks you’re about to have an aneurysm.

Wheeljack is a menace, and it’s entirely your fault. Mentioning the tradition wasn’t supposed to end up like this, but alas, horny dumbassery always leads to worst case scenarios. Bulkhead told you to go for it, meaning well with his encouragement but sealing your fate for the next 24 hours. Ratchet asked you if you were out of your mind, the voice of reason and simultaneously the bitchiest best friend you could ask for, telling you loud and clear if anything happened it would be on your conscience alone. June put a hand on your shoulder and (half) jokingly said she would ask to be assigned to your hospital room. Truly, you have the will to live of a hamster doing its hardest to die a horribly gruesome death and reach hamsterhallah. What a genius you are. Wheeljack wasted no time getting you under the mistletoe Bulkhead helped string up, and maybe you envisioned it differently when he narrowly bruised your lips going in for the kiss. You tried to keep the sloppy makeout session brief, but from the way Bulkhead was shielding the kids behind not one but two giant servos, you might have overdone it. What you especially did not expect, however, was waking up in the Jackhammer’s passenger seat with the worst migraine of your life and dry transfluid slathered all over your crotch. Now, trying to recall the events of last night with the worst eggnog hangover you’ve ever experienced, you can only wait for Wheeljack to awaken from recharge in the pilot’s seat. You note the traces of transfluid on his lips, and your eyes trail down to your suspiciously bluish hand. Did you fist Wheeljack on Christmas Eve?

Bumblebee is having the time of his life. You got Raf (and his Autobot guardian) some discount Christmas-themed games from the only offbrand Gamestop in all of Jasper as an early present. You watch with rapt amusement as they laugh at the frankly abysmal coding and game design, enjoying themselves to the fullest despite the sub-optimal gameplay, but you almost choke on your spit when Raf actually starts analyzing the code for the game and applying level-breaking cheats in a matter of minutes. Cheesus Christ, that kid can hack into the Pentagon at this point. You move in front of Agent Fowler’s line of sight to stop him from seeing just what kind of threat to national security Raf can become. As the day nearly comes to an end and you’re half sure Jack is scrutinizing Ratchet who’s flirting with his mom who’s tucking her hair behind her ear in the single mom sign for “I will fuck this alien robot”; you beckon Bumblebee closer and hold out the mistletoe over your head and his uh… forehead. You kiss him slowly, holding onto the railing as he leans his face into your lips, beeping happily. Little do you know, Miko saw it and now she’s going to hold out a mistletoe over your heads for the next 5 hours until your mouth grows numb from kissing him. He looks so damn happy whenever he notices the mistletoe, you can’t say no to him, not when Dadimus Prime is watching from the other corner of the room.

Arcee is ahead of schedule. She knows what you’re going to do, and she’s already planning to one up you. Yes, she’s been especially busy giving the kids a lift to put up the final ornaments on the tree in spite of her initial protests, but now you’re fiddling with your fingers stealing occasional glances like you’re desperately hyping yourself up for what’s to come. You have no idea what you’re doing to her looking so shy and cute. She could just eat you up. You’re unsure when you go up to her, Christmas fun fact on your lips and sweating bullets just thinking about what you’re going to do - and your jaw drops down to the Earth’s core when she gingerly holds a strand of mistletoe over your heads. She wishes she could capture your expression and lock it inside her spark. When you kiss, it’s deep and longing, filled with a need to give yourself up completely in spite of being so finite next to her. And she welcomes it, all of it, taking your eagerness and savoring every minute with you. When you pull away heaving for breath, your hair’s a mess and you’re redder than Cliffjumper’s plating. Your eyes twinkle when you look at her, equal parts love and desperation to surrender yourself to her with all the trust in the world. She will protect you until the day she offlines.

[bumblydumbly]

Sevika’s grief is soooo compelling shut UP

The way she stomps in looking angry, and then she looks for him in the chair, shakes her head and drinks

Now shes looking at the ground sad and tired, shoulders sagged as she grabs her tools and throws them on the desk. Her eyes are low, she doesnt want to look at the chair, which also kinda pisses her off. She needs to focus on something else. Its a bad look how Smeech poked at her damaged prosthetic to make her look weak.

But shes been drinking. A lot. And she’s frazzled, she cant even notch the screwdriver right, and its the one thing that pushes her over.

Her snarl is an agitated one. Her voice is choked up when she speaks to the chair but her head is bowed, she again finds it hard to look at. She’s about as vulnerable as she’ll ever allow herself to be, when Jinx announces herself (likely to protect sevikas pride or something like it, not hard to imagine sevika doesnt want anyone seeing her cry)

Sevika knows. Its clear on her face that she knows its Jinx that killed him, and she’s angry. The kid’s back is turned, and Sevika had warned him—

But for once, Jinx isnt looking for a fight. She’s feeling vulnerable too. She’s showing Sevika her back on purpose. Loyalty, she hears in her mind. In his voice. And really, it must suck for a kid to keep finding family and killing them off. She’s compared the two of them to herself and her father once. He’s probably gone, too.

Sevika takes the olive branch Jinx offers, but they dont face each other. She gives jinx her back as well.

Its quiet. Sevika gets to the root of it. He’s gone, and her world, their world is completely uprooted. (Something something about both jinx and sevika dont use the word ‘died’. “Vander shoved off” “[silco] dips out” it feels like a respect thing idk)

The fucking. Emotion on her face after she says it. Grief hidden in rage, the way she trembles and throws the chair with her whole body. (Jinx doesnt flinch, she feels she understands.) Jinx had allowed herself to cry, Sevika will not (but jinx has screamed too. Into the water).

Her anger fizzles out again, her shoulders sag and she just looks defeated. She confesses, because she knows jinx feels the same: she feels lost.

She turns around, but she’s still so open that she flinches at her own arm waving in her face. She looks lighter, in spite of it.

[alltheirdamn]

Killing Me Softly | (Joel x teacher!f!reader)

Chap. 3: Violent Delights

Chp. 3 Summary: Every ounce of your resolve fades away as Joel finds his way past your walls. Rating: 18+ MDNI Word Count: 8.5k Warnings: pre-outbreak AU, language, mutual pining, slow burn, angst, banter, sexual tension, heavy kissing, cliff hanger (sorrrrryyyyy) A/N: This one may or may not kill you guys... sorry in advance & please don't hate me. I'll make it up to you <3

Masterlist | Ko-Fi

As Boston came into view from the window of the plane, your anxiety began to skyrocket. Exam week flew by, and now it was finally fall break. You had spent half a day scrambling around the house trying to pack while planning when to call a taxi so that you wouldn’t miss your flight. Putting the stress aside, you had made it in time and found yourself trying to ease your mind with a stupid romance book on the flight. You weren’t huge on reading romance, but it was mindless and passed the time as you soared over the states. 

Joel never reached out after he sent himself your number. You didn’t reach out either, which took a lot of self-restraint. You commended him for having just as much restraint because you were sure he’d cave and call you at some point. But the silence was blaring loud, and maybe he only wanted your number ‘just in case.’ You wouldn’t get your hopes up anymore.

You were coming down the escalator when your mom and two sisters came into view. Stella, your youngest sister, was the first to run and wrap you up in a big hug. Her black hair was chopped shorter than before, and she had a bright smile plastered on her face.

“Sis!” She squealed, squeezing your shoulders.

“Hi, Stell,” you laughed, hugging her tight.

“Look who’s home at last,” Beth said, her arms crossed over her chest as she watched Stella swing you back and forth.

Beth was younger than you by two years, while Stella was newly eighteen and still full of life. You and Beth hadn’t been very close since you left Boston, the bitterness of your absence still lingering between you both. 

“Hey, Beth,” you sighed, opening your arms to invite her into a hug.

She was hesitant at first but finally caved and hugged you back. It was brief, but you’d settle for it. Your mom was the next in line to hug you, her voice shaky as she welcomed you home.

“Don’t cry, Mom,” you laughed, pulling away.

“I’m just happy you’re finally home. We missed you a lot.”

She took your luggage and guided you through the airport down to the parking garage. Stella lingered close, wanting to hear about your life in Austin and how teaching was going. Beth, on the other hand, hung back and kept quiet. You knew things would implode at some point during the week, but until then, you’d just have to acknowledge the ticking time bomb in the background.

“Where’s dad?” You asked your mom, climbing into the front seat.

“He’s home grilling up some steaks for dinner. He hasn’t stopped talking about you coming home since you booked the flight. He’s missed you the most,” she sighed.

“I missed him too,” you muttered.

It wasn’t lost on you that leaving had caused a gaping hole in your relationship with your entire family. Even if they weren’t the biggest fans of Bennett, they continued to support you through your decisions to move with him and uproot your life. After he left, they begged you to come home, but you knew staying in Austin was what felt right. You had a job and a home; leaving was admitting defeat. You wouldn’t let him strip away the life you had made; you wouldn’t let yourself be a failure. 

The city blurred by as you neared your childhood home. You kept your eyes closed when you passed down the roads Bennett had once driven you, hoping you could force the memories away. But they still lingered. The past always seemed to linger. Stella and Beth chatted quietly in the backseat, leaving you in silence as the house appeared. Nothing had changed: the white brick chipping around the edges, the hedges in the front yard overgrown and unruly. You expected to feel at home, seeing the house again, but it didn’t feel like it once had. 

As you unpacked the trunk and hauled your luggage inside, you heard your dad’s voice floating from the back deck.

“Is that my girl?” He called out, walking through the sliding doors with his grilling tools in hand. 

“It is,” you smiled, dropping your things at the door.

“Hey there, peanut,” he greeted, awkwardly hugging you as his hands were full.

“Hey, Dad,” you whispered.

“Missed you, kid. How was the flight?” 

You trailed him out onto the deck, the smell of smoke mixing with the autumn breeze as it passed through the trees lining the backyard. You had missed seeing the seasons change, the yellowing of the leaves, and the crisp air that seemed to linger throughout the day. Nothing would beat the East Coast in the fall, even if you liked living in Texas now.

“The flight wasn’t bad,” you shrugged, sinking into a lawn chair as you watched him flip the steaks. “I don’t know why four hours in the air felt so long.”

“You know, you could avoid it if you moved back home,” he suggested.

“I like living in Austin,” you argued. “I have a good job, and I’m happy there.”

“I didn’t say you weren’t happy. All I’m saying is that you can always come home.”

You remember him saying the exact same thing after the wedding ceremony went to shit. Two days after the incident, your dad was consoling you on the couch, holding you as you cried and urging you to come home. You can always come home, peanut. 

“I know I can, Dad. Can we please just drop it?”

Your dad chuckled and made a pact with you not to repeat it. You only hoped your mom and sisters would do the same.

Dinner passed under a heavy silence. No one knew how to speak to you without possibly mentioning Bennett… or ‘the incident’ as they liked to refer to it. You awkwardly made small talk between your parents and Stella while Beth sat and pushed her food around. You stole glances at her ever so often, trying to form a plan when you could talk to her. Out of everyone in the family, your absence hurt her the most. She had been the most vocal about your issues with Bennett, which was to your detriment since you had confided in her the most. She gave the harsh truths and tough love, going so far as to try and talk you out of the engagement. In your love-struck haze, you hadn’t listened to her and found yourself defending Bennett—defending your emotions. You wished you had listened to her. 

“So,” your mom started. “Any new love interests?”

You gave her a pointed stare, stabbing the steak on your plate. This was the last thing you wanted: explaining yourself to them. 

“No, Mom. There’s no one to speak of,” you huffed.

“C’mon mom,” Beth laughed, chiming in. “You know she’s still wallowing away in that big house all alone.”

“Beth,” your dad warned. At the same time, Stella whispered, “Beth, don’t.”

“No, it’s okay.” You smiled through your teeth, glaring at Beth, who sat back in her seat with a smug expression.

“You did this to yourself, you know?” Beth said, cocking an eyebrow.

“Did what?” You questioned.

“We all warned you about Bennett. You knew he was no good, yet you stayed. And look! He left you.”

Her words cut deep, deeper than you wanted to admit. You kept your expression stony, not feeding into her words.

“Beth, you need to stop right now,” your mom nearly growled. “You’re out of line.”

“Let her talk, Mom,” you said. “She needs to get it out.”

“Oh, I need to get it out?” Beth snapped. “You’re the one fucking sulking about Austin, pulling this whole ‘woe is me’ bullshit. The signs were all there! Get over yourself. It’s been two years, sis. Move on.”

“Just because we don’t talk doesn’t mean I haven’t moved on,” you exhaled. “I’m still healing from it all, and I’m sorry I’m not including you in that. I didn’t know you needed access to every part of my life.”

Beth slapped her hands on the table, rising to her feet to stare down at you over the plates of food. You shrunk back, trying to keep the tears at bay. She was going in for the final blow. 

“You came to me for advice, and I gave it. You went ahead with the engagement and still ended up alone. He was never going to marry you. You’re a fucking mouse too afraid to defend yourself, and he knew you wouldn’t fight for him back. He’s probably glad he didn’t marry someone as stupid as you. You can’t see the warning signs even when they’re flashing in your face!”

That was it. That was the breaking point. 

You tossed your napkin onto your plate and removed yourself from the table. You drowned out your parents' voices and Stella’s yelling for you to come back as you ran towards the door. 

“Run!” Beth called from behind you. “Run like Bennett did!”

You barely made it out the front door before crumpling to the ground with tears streaming down your face. Staying with Bennett didn’t just hurt you; it hurt everyone. They wanted the best for you, and you didn’t see that until it was too late. Your relationship with Beth had been shattered because you had thrown all the blame on her. You blamed her for every traitorous thought you had about Bennett; you wanted to blame her for your doubts and unhappiness. But it wasn’t her. It was you. Everything was your fault—it always was.

Stella’s small voice saying your name roused you from your crying as she joined you on the porch. Wrapping her arms around your shoulders, she leaned into you and let you cry out every bottled-up emotion. 

“I’m sorry, Stell,” you sobbed. “I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you guys. I’m sorry I left. I’m sorry I never came home.”

“Shhh,” she hushed. “No one is mad at you for staying in Austin. We understand why you stayed. Beth is just hurt. You shut everyone out, but you shut her out the most. She just misses you.”

“All I do is fuck everything up,” you muttered. 

“No, stop that,” she argued, rubbing a hand over your back. “None of what happened is your fault. You deserved love, and he wasn’t the right one. You’ll find it again.”

“I stayed for too long. I should have left him long before the wedding. I was just hoping it would fix everything.”

“How were you to know?” She sighed. “Just because he was shitty doesn’t mean you can’t be sad. What he did was totally fucked up, and you didn’t deserve that.”

“Tell Beth that,” you laughed through a hiccup. “She thinks I deserved it.”

“She’s hurt. She doesn’t mean those things.”

“But she’s not wrong.”

Stella sighed, pulling away from you to level you with a sympathetic look. 

“I think you guys need to talk it out. Maybe not right now, but when you’re ready,” she offered.

“You’re the young one,” you groaned. “You shouldn’t be consoling your older sister like this.”

“Hey, someone’s gotta be nice to you,” she smiled, quietly laughing.

“Thank you,” you whimpered.

You fell back into her arms and stared aimlessly at the trees blowing in the wind. After a few quiet moments, you finally pulled yourself together and shuffled out of her arms. Stella watched you wearily as you stood, brushing the dirt from your pants.

“I think I’m gonna go for a walk to clear my head,” you announced. “Tell Mom and Dad I'll come back in a few.”

“Are you sure?” She asked.

“I’ll be okay, Stell. I promise. Thank you again,” you sighed, kissing her head.

Dusk fell over the neighborhood as you wandered between the trees and houses. A few neighbors walked their dogs while their kids ran through the streets playing ball or riding their bikes. You never wanted to be out and interacting at home, but you didn’t mind it here. There was no risk. No one would stop you and inquire about your life like they would at home.

As you rounded down the next street, your phone started ringing in your back pocket. You whipped it out and saw the one name you had been waiting for the last week: Joel. Part of you didn’t want to answer; you weren’t in the right headspace. But you had waited to hear from him, and honestly, he was probably the only person to sway your mood for the better. Sucking in a breath, you answered.

“Hello?” You said, hoping your voice didn’t betray you.

“I got a bone to pick with you,” Joel huffed, clearly joking.

But after the events of dinner, his words felt like another punch to the gut.

“Why?” You asked nervously, pulling the phone away to sniffle back more tears.

“I finished Romeo and Juliet, and I—. Wait, are you alright? Why does it sound like you’ve been cryin’?”

You let out a sad laugh; of course, he’d see right through you. He always managed to do that.

“Because I have been,” you sighed. There was no point in lying to him when you knew he’d continue bugging you. 

“What happened? Are you alright? Do y’need me to come get you from somewhere?” God, he sounded so sweet when he was worried.

“I’m fine, Mr. Miller. I’m not even in Austin right now, so you’re off the hook on that offer.”

“Where are you?” He pressed.

“Boston. I’m visiting family over the break,” you explained.

“You from there?” 

“I am.”

“I didn’t take you as an East Coast type of girl, but it makes sense with how stubborn y’are,” he chuckled.

“Yep. That’s me.”

“Alright, I ain’t gonna let you get off the hook this easily. What’s goin’ on?”

You rounded back down another street, holding your phone tighter against your ear, hoping you’d catch every breath in the receiver. Hearing Joel’s voice was enough to soothe your heart after a terrible night.

“Really,” you insisted. “We don’t need to talk about it.”

“I reckon we do. I bet you’ll feel better after.”

“I reckon I won’t,” you mimicked his accent.

Joel let out a low chuckle, clearly amused by your response. It garnered a smile from you as you pictured his lips turned up on the corners, the bottom lip pushed out and pouty like they always were.

“My family isn’t happy with me for staying in Austin. They think I should have moved home a couple of years ago,” you explained. “I’ll spare you the bad parts, but I should have come home. It would’ve made it easier on everyone.”

“But would it’ve made it easier on you?” He asked.

You stopped walking and pinched the bridge of your nose to hold back the coming tears. Of course, he saw it from the latter. He wasn’t siding with your parents, but he didn’t know what you had done and endured to deserve their bitterness.

“Probably, but it doesn’t matter. Listen, you don’t have to worry about me. We can talk poetry instead,” you offered.

“If that’s what y’want, and for the record, I’m gonna worry about you.” You could hear his smile through the phone.

“You don’t need to, Mr. Miller.”

“Joel,” he sighed. “Y’know, you can say my name.”

“I know, it’s just—.”

“All formalities,” he finished. “I just wish you’d quit that because I think we’re far past it by now.”

“I’m trying to maintain some semblance of professionalism,” you laughed. 

Your house was slowly coming into view again, and you felt the nerves creep back in. Eventually, you’d have to face them again, but right now, all you wanted to hear was Joel’s thick accent and husky voice. 

“What’s so wrong about bein’ unprofessional?” He joked.

“A lot, Mr. Miller,” you sighed. 

There was a brief pause on his end, and you bit your lip, wondering if he understood the meaning behind your words. You'd be completely vulnerable to him when you crossed the threshold between professional and unprofessional. Your restraint would melt away, and he’d win. 

“Should I be callin’ you Miss Smith again?” He sounded serious. “I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable and all that.”

“No,” you said all too quickly. “Call me by my name. I—I like it.”

You fucking idiot. 

Joel spoke your name in a lower voice, sending a shiver down your spine. Your steps back to the house slowed as you tried to control a strange urge rushing through your body. Was he teasing you? Was he actually doing that? You had to reel back in all the unprofessional thoughts swarming your head… especially the ones wondering how your name would sound when he was inside—. Stop that. 

“What’re you doing?” You exhaled. 

“Sayin’ your name,” he countered. “Y’said you liked it.”

“Yeah, I do.” You were beyond flustered and hot. “You’re—never mind. I should probably get inside and make peace with my family. Don’t think I forgot about Romeo and Juliet; I still want to hear your thoughts.”

“Call me tonight before you sleep,” Joel said. Oh, Christ. “I ain’t gonna remember the story if I wait any longer.”

“We could’ve talked about it earlier,” you chuckled. “You got sidetracked asking about me.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

You were at the edge of the front yard now, staring blankly at the porch light flickering against the nightfall blanketing the house. You couldn’t stay outside forever or on the phone with him forever—no matter how much you wanted to. 

“I need to get back to my family,” you sidestepped. “I’ll call tonight, okay?”

“Promise?”

You smiled to yourself, gripping the phone tighter in your hand. Damn this man, and damn his charm.

“I promise, Mr. Miller. Goodbye.”

“Bye,” he whispered, your name falling off his tongue one last time.

You were so screwed. Completely and utterly screwed. 

The house was quiet when you walked through the front door. Your mom and dad were lounging in the living room, flipping through channels, and Stella sat at the dining room table, working on her homework. Beth was nowhere to be found, which you figured would happen. Your mom glanced up from the couch with the same sympathetic expression Stella had given you earlier, and quite honestly, you were sick of it. You were sick of being pitied. You were sick of people being sad for you all the time. Yes, you were sad—all the time—but you wanted to be alone in your healing. You didn’t want to feel worse about it all from the people meant to support you. And you knew deep down they did support you, but it didn’t always feel that way. 

You needed to talk to Beth, or this entire week would be hell. 

“Is she up in her room?” You asked your mom.

She gave you a slow nod and then returned to watching the TV. She didn’t have to say anything; she knew why you asked.

Upstairs, your house was divided by two hallways. The left hallway had your parents and Stella’s room, and down the right was yours and Beth’s. You had spent so many nights with her tucked in the bed with you, staying up late talking about anything under the sun and always being each other's best friend. But that all disappeared when she realized how terrible Bennett was. Leaving Boston broke her heart, and in turn, Bennett broke yours and destroyed everything left between you and your family. 

After a sharp inhale and one final wipe of your eyes, you knocked on her door, hoping she’d let you in. The silence behind the door cemented the fact she knew it was you, yet the door opened and revealed Beth just as disheveled as you were. Her long brown hair was tossed up into a bun, and the makeup she had worn earlier was gone, a redness rimming her eyes in its place. You wanted to wrap your arms around her to apologize for everything, but Beth wasn’t that person. She didn’t want affection. She wanted words. 

“Can I come in?” You asked.

She nodded slowly, cracking the door open wider to let you step into her room. It was just as you remembered it: the fluffy white bed in the corner, the scattered polaroids on the wall, and the full-length mirror propped in the corner that you had gotten ready in front of before. Beth sat on the corner of her bed, her head hung as you joined her.

“I’m sorry,” she started. “I was a real bitch at dinner.”

You leaned into her, resting your head on her shoulder.

“You kinda were,” you chuckled. “But I understand. I shut you out. I shut everyone out, honestly. It’s easier to be alone.”

“No, it’s not,” she argued.

“Maybe, but it’s what I thought was best for me. You were right about Bennett, and I didn’t listen to you when I should have.”

“You may be older, but you are so stupid.”

You laughed harder at that, feeling her hand reach around and grip yours. You squeezed her fingers, your chest rising and falling normally. You missed this Beth, the one that could make light of the worst. 

“You know I couldn’t have come home, right? I made a life out in Austin, even without Bennett. I even went to his law firm and asked where he had gone, and all they said was that he took a job out of state. I was so scared he came back here, and if I came back to Boston, I’d see him again.”

“Why are you so afraid of him?” She asked.

“Because he broke my heart worse than I could have ever imagined. I don’t know what I’d do if I saw him again, Beth. I’d be terrified.”

Beth glanced down at you, shrugging you off her shoulder so you could meet her eyes. Tears swam in her blue eyes, rolling over onto her cheeks.

“You’re stronger than that. You always have been.”

“I don’t feel like it sometimes.”

She sighed, brushing away tears you hadn’t realized escaped your eyes. 

“Don’t let some shit guy ruin your life. You deserve to be happy, sis. There’s going to be someone so much greater out there.”

Flashes of Joel’s dark eyes and curly hair swam into your mind when she said those words. You didn’t want to believe Joel would be that person, but even your mind betrayed you. You willed it away, hoping you’d keep any thought of him lingering in the back of your head.

“I know,” you said. “Eventually, there will be.”

“There’s already someone, isn’t there?” She quirked an eyebrow.

You wanted to deny it and lie, but you wanted your friendship back. So, you told her everything, starting at the father-daughter dance and leading up to the phone call that had just ended. Beth had a massive grin while you spoke, nodding with every detail you shared.

“So… you’re gonna give him a chance, right?” She questioned.

“I can’t. He’s my students’ dad, and I can’t do that. It wouldn’t be right.”

“Then sneak around,” she pressed. “Here’s this amazing guy who’s obviously into you, and you’re gonna let that slip away because of what’s right and wrong?”

“What would you do?” You exhaled, falling back against her bed. You stared at the ceiling fan, watching it twirl in circles, hoping an answer would be hidden in its blades.

“I’d have amazing sex with him,” Beth chuckled, laying back beside you. “And then maybe fall in love, I don’t know. But sex for sure.”

“You’re terrible,” you giggled. 

Beth laughed along with you, shuffling her body closer so both of you were shoulder to shoulder. Coming home would feel like this again, but coming home would mean losing everything all over again. You’d lose your job and the house you loved so much… and you’d lose Joel. For some reason, the idea of not seeing him around made your heart ache in ways you hadn’t felt in a long time. Maybe Beth was right; maybe you’d give Joel a chance.

It was well into the night when you finally found yourself unwinding in bed and curling under the covers. You held your phone close to your chest, wondering if it was too late to call. In Boston, it was nearly midnight. Austin was only an hour behind, but you knew Joel worked early with his company. You didn’t want to assume he’d be asleep already, but the chances were slim he was awake and waiting for you. 

You dialed his number anyway.

It barely reached the second ring before he answered, your name as sweet as ever rolling through the receiver.

“I didn’t think you’d call,” he said. “Figured you forgot all about me.”

“Never,” you whispered, trying to keep your voice down. Everyone was asleep in the house, and the last thing you wanted was for them to hear you talking on the phone late at night like you were a teenager all over again.

“Y’figure everythin’ out with your family?” He asked.

“Yeah, it’s all good now.”

“Why’re you whisperin’?” He chuckled.

“Because everyone is asleep,” you tossed back.

“Sneakin’ around late then, huh?”

“Don’t tease me, Mr. Miller.”

“I’ll tease all I want,” he countered.

You blew out a breath, rolling over in the bed. With your knees curled up to your chest, you listened to Joel’s soft breathing and wondered if he was in bed, too. You wondered what he looked like, stretched out against the mattress, and if his body was as warm as his smile.

“Are you going to tell me about Romeo and Juliet? Or are you just going to sidetrack us again?” You asked softly.

Joel let out a heavy sigh, and you could hear rustling behind him. He was in bed, and for some reason, that enticed you. 

“You coulda warned me that they both die,” he started. “If it weren’t for Paris, they coulda had a happy ending!”

“The whole point of the story is to have a tragic ending. Shakespeare warned everyone in the foreshadowing, with Montague saying, ‘These violent delights have violent ends.’ It’s supposed to be a story about the chaos of passion.”

“Still ain’t makin’ up for the fact they never got to be together,” Joel grumbled.

“Not every story is a happy ending,” you exhaled, wincing at the words you spoke. You didn’t die because of Bennett, but the story hit too close to home. Between the chaos of family and the violent ends of your relationship, you had nearly become Juliet, killing herself over a man. Not literally, but the pain after the wedding was a death within itself. 

“Why d’you like it so much?” Joel asked.

“Wasn’t that your job to find out?”

“I’m not gonna lay here and make assumptions ‘bout you, but I get the feelin’ you’re a lot like Juliet.”

“Maybe,” you muttered quietly. 

“Who’s Romeo then?”

He didn’t sound angry, but you knew he only asked because he wanted to understand you better. And fuck, if that wasn’t a turn-on in itself.

“He’s the one that left me at the altar.”

There was a heavy silence from his end of the phone. You wanted to take the words back and shove them deep within you where the world couldn’t hear them. No matter how many times you said it aloud, it never felt easier. But it was the unfortunate truth; your love story had a tragic ending.

“Jesus fuck, I’m so sorry,” Joel exhaled.

“Don’t be. I’m okay.”

“Whoever did that didn’t deserve you. Perfect girl like you ain’t deserve someone that shitty.”

Perfect girl.

You had to clench your thighs together at the way his voice roughened when he said those two words. You wanted to play them on a loop over and over until you were mindless. Bennett never called you perfect—beautiful, maybe, but never perfect. He knew you for five years and never said it; Joel knew you for a month and not only said it…but believed it.

“I stayed with him a lot longer than I should have.”

“Wanna talk about it?” Joel offered, his voice gentler than a moment ago.

“Not right now,” you whispered. “I’ll make you a deal.”

“I’m listenin’.”

You were playing with fire now, and maybe it was the vulnerability of the day catching up to you, but Beth’s words were stuck in your head. There’s going to be someone so much greater out there. 

“Ask me anything you want over dinner.”

Silence. Dead silence. 

You held your breath, waiting for a response, waiting for anything. You could handle rejection, or at least you hoped you could. You hadn’t put yourself out there since Bennett left, and the idea of being unlovable was hard to wrap your head around. Did he ruin you to the point of no return? Was there any hope left?

“I’m not gonna take y’out to dinner and talk about your ex-fiancé,” Joel grumbled. 

“Oh, okay, yeah. I understand.”

The tears were welling in your eyes now, threatening your composure. He didn’t want to take you out anymore; that was fine. Who would want to deal with the broken pieces left in the wake of your past?

“If I’m gonna take you out, it’s gonna be a proper date where I get to know you,” Joel lowered his voice, the sound echoing through your head.

“A date?” You laughed nervously.

“Yes.” He said your name in a stern tone that stalled your breathing. “Quit bein’ all professional, and let me take you somewhere nice so I can really get to know you. That’s all I been wantin’ to do.”

“I’ll make you another deal,” you offered.

“God, you and your damn deals. Alright, let’s hear it,” he chuckled.

“When I’m back, ask me on a proper date.”

“Haven’t I already done that? The offer still stands, y’know.”

“I wasn’t ready to say yes when you asked. I think I’m ready now.”

“Bout damn time,” he laughed. “I swear I’m a patient man, but I’ve been goin’ out my damn mind waitin’ for you.”

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled. That was always the default response these days.

“You’re worth waitin’ for, I promise.”

You were at a complete and total loss for words. How did Joel always say everything you had always wanted to hear? You tried not to compare him to Bennett, but this was far beyond anything you had received in the past. It was foreign but so sweet. You allowed yourself to take the plunge; now, every risk was heightened. If the heartbreak Bennett had caused was this bad, you hoped never to find out what losing Joel would feel like. 

“Y’still there?” He asked.

“Yeah, I’m still here,” you whispered. You didn’t realize how long your thoughts had silenced you. “I’m looking forward to you asking me.”

“And I’m lookin’ forward to askin’…again.”

You smiled to yourself and shoved your head further under the covers. You could hear Joel yawning on the other end of the phone, and you realized just how late it was. You could listen to him talk until you fell asleep, but you wouldn’t keep him any longer.

“Go and get some sleep, Mr. Miller.”

“Y’sayin’ I’m old?” He grumbled.

“I’m saying I can hear you yawning over there,” you quipped.

“Alright, alright. Maybe we should both be gettin’ sleep. Can I call you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

“Goodnight,” he whispered.

“Goodnight, Mr. Miller.”

The rest of the week went smoother than you had imagined. After the conversation with Beth, you both fell back into the familiar routine of being close. You’d catch her sliding you small smiles while you were out around the city, a deep concern crossing over her eyes, knowing how hard it was to relive the memories. Boston hadn’t changed, making it easier knowing you had made the right decision to leave. Stella introduced you to her new boyfriend, and your parents cooked a huge dinner to include him in a family evening together. And every night, you’d stay up late talking to Joel on the phone. 

He told you tiny snippets of his day and what had happened at work while you shared pieces of your day traveling around town with family. You noticed how he sidestepped or avoided asking deeper questions about you, and it was sweet knowing that he really wanted to wait for that date to ask those questions. Those late-night talks became something you looked forward to, even if they were filled with mundane things to chat about. 

Friday came quicker than you expected, and you were fidgeting to get on the plane home. Joel had asked the night before when you were landing and insisted on being the one to pick you up from the airport. You were struggling to continue saying ‘no’ to him, and frankly, you wanted him to be the first person you saw when you arrived. 

Austin’s skyline was dotted with lights as the plane touched down in the evening. Those few hours on the plane felt like an eternity, but as you scrambled down the tunnel into the airport, you felt a surge of excitement flowing through your body. Something had shifted over the week between you and Joel; that line between professional and unprofessional slowly disappeared. You were losing the battle inside you to keep your distance from him, and God made it so easy to do that. His charm kept you coming back for more, and the idea of what could happen between the two of you was terrifying, but the risk was beginning to look less dangerous. You felt comfortable, which was far from what you felt with Bennett. You always had to be the best version of yourself, the perfect image of a perfect girlfriend and fiancé. But you realized with Joel, you could let your control slip. He had seen and heard your vulnerability more times than you wanted to allow, yet he didn’t run away. 

He didn’t run away.

That thought slammed into you as you walked through the airport, knowing you weren’t walking towards an empty altar. You were walking towards a man willing to wait for you—for the first time. 

As you made it through the crowd of other travelers, you finally emerged into the lower level of the airport, your eyes darting around to find Joel. In the chaos of bodies walking around, his tall figure stood above the rest, a small bouquet of flowers in hand. Your steps slowed as you approached, your eyes shifting from the flowers to his welcoming smile. 

“What’s this?” you asked, your cheeks pink from running or seeing him; you weren’t sure.

“Figured it would be a nice way to welcome you home,” Joel smiled, handing them to you. 

The flowers were an array of colorful carnations, their orange and pink petals standing out against the green leaves surrounding them. You took them from him and watched as he replaced the flowers in his hand with your luggage, insisting on carrying them for you. He wore a multi-colored flannel, the material stretching over his back and shoulders as he lifted your bags. You stood back, mesmerized, as he led you toward the parking garage. 

“Thank you again,” you said. “I know you had a long work day, so thank you for driving out here.”

Joel looked over his shoulder and smiled at you. You noticed the scruff on his face was a bit grown out from the last time you saw him, but those bare patches still stood strong. There was a strange urge inside you to kiss them and feel the warmth of the skin underneath. 

“It’s no trouble at all,” he said. 

His truck was parked far back in the parking lot, which made the walk together longer than you expected. The smell of the flowers enveloped you as you held them close to your chest. You could only count a handful of times Bennett had gotten you flowers and could count even fewer times he actually picked you up from the airport. Any time you went home to visit family, which was far and few, he used the excuse of work to avoid being there for you. 

Joel lifted your luggage into the backseat of his truck, turning to you once he shut the door. He spoke your name softly, staring down at you as you gave him a curious look. 

“Well, since you’re home now, I’m just gonna ask it,” he started. “Would you go out to dinner with me?”

“I’d love that,” you smiled, a blush crawling up your neck. 

“Good,” he nodded. “I hope you’re hungry.”

“Wait, you mean right now?”

Joel leaned closer to you, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. 

“I told you I’m a patient man, but I ain’t waitin’ any longer. So get your stubborn ass in my truck, and let me take you out.”

“You’re relentless, Mr. Miller,” you rolled your eyes. 

Joel opened the passenger door for you, waiting patiently as you climbed in and buckled yourself. 

“I’m gonna make sure you stop callin’ me that by the end of the night,” he said, his eyes trained on you. 

Your breath stalled, and you wondered about the meaning behind his words. Joel probably didn’t mean it sexually, but that’s exactly where your brain went. This was only a date, nothing more, nothing less. You were already giving into him with this; you wouldn’t give in any more than that—no matter how badly you might want to. 

“We’ll see, Mr. Miller,” you smirked.

Joel’s brown eyes darkened at your challenge, and you hoped he didn’t notice how your thighs clenched to quell the warmth pooling inside your stomach. You were staying strong on this one; saying his name meant giving up control entirely. If you gave up the control, you’d give up everything, and you weren’t sure if you could do that to yourself—not yet, at least.

You made small talk with Joel on the drive to his chosen restaurant. It was a casual steakhouse, but you were obviously underdressed from being on a plane for nearly four hours. Joel wasn’t much better either; his attire always seemed too casual and messy. Oddly enough, it was growing on you. You couldn’t imagine him wearing suits or dress-casual attire; it didn’t suit his persona. He was rugged through and through, and you liked that. You had judged him so early on, but the carefree way he carried himself amplified your attraction to him. Bennett always wore some bullshit suit and tie for work, looking overdressed and uncomfortable. Whenever he wasn’t working—which was rare—he still looked like a pretentious East Coast snob with his dress slacks and polo. God, the more you thought about it, the more it pissed you off. 

Once Joel and you were seated at a table and ordered, you found yourself squirming in your seat. Joel’s eyes were warm and unwavering in the restaurant's lighting as he focused on you. With his hands folded on the table, he kept his body pressed forward just to get closer to you. 

“So, I know y’told me you had sisters,” he started. “Beth and Stella, right?”

“Mhmm,” you nodded, sipping the red wine before you. You hadn’t planned on drinking, but your body demanded some sort of aid in numbing the nerves coursing through your veins. “Stella is the youngest. She’s eighteen. She graduated high school this year and started attending Boston College in September. Beth is two years younger than me and works in graphic design for a company in downtown Boston.”

“If Beth is two years younger, that makes you…”

“I’m twenty-seven, Mr. Miller,” you chuckled. 

Joel’s eyes widened a bit, most likely as he realized the age gap between you both. Clearly, he had to have noticed by now, but his reaction was still comical. You nervously bit your lip, wondering if the distance between your age would make him less interested. It’s only a date, you reminded yourself. He wasn’t interested in you that much. 

“Shesh,” he whistled, leaning back into his chair. “I ain’t take you to be that young.”

“Sorry to disappoint,” you muttered. 

He shook his head, reaching for his beer, and you watched him take a long sip before responding. 

“No, it’s not like that,” he reassured. “Y’just surprise me, that’s all.”

“How so?” You asked, leaning forward. 

“Y’act so mature sometimes,” he explained. “You’re big on actin’ professional and adult-like.”

“It’s my job,” you said.

“Bein’ a teacher shouldn’t stop you from enjoyin’ your twenties,” he countered. 

You sighed, nodding along to his words. A lot of things had stopped you from enjoying your twenties, like a particular asshole you thought you’d spend your life with. Being young and careless was never something in the cards for you, and honestly, the closest thing you had gotten to that was the night Joel saw you at the bar. 

“Do you feel like being a young dad did the same for you?” You asked. 

Joel inhaled sharply, scratching the back of his neck. You began to realize he did that a lot; in nervous moments, in moments he was deep in thought, in moments he felt awkward. Right now, you assumed it was because he was trying to formulate some sort of response. 

“I ain’t really had a choice in it. When Sarah’s mom left, I was pretty lost tryna do the ‘dad’ thing. I had to juggle between work and bein’ present, and Tommy was young then, too, so he couldn’t help much. I just tried my best and learned as I went.”

“How old is Tommy?”

“Younger than you,” Joel laughed. “He’s twenty-five.”

“Oh gosh, you guys have a big age gap, too.”

“That we do.”

The waiter brought your meals, forcing the chit-chat to stall while you indulged in the steak and side dishes in silence. Occasionally, Joel would hum as he ate, glancing up at you to see your reaction to the flavors as well. You returned his curious eyes with soft smiles, indulging in how he looked at you like you were something he hungered for far more than the food in front of him. When the plates cleared and your napkins were disposed of, Joel asked the waiter for another round of drinks so that you both had no option but to remain seated in each other's company. 

“What made you want to be a teacher?” He asked, smoothing down the flannel over his stomach.

Your eyes caught onto the movement of his hand as it brushed down his navel, the veins flexing as he readjusted himself in his chair. Joel dipped his head slightly to draw your attention back to his soft eyes, and you instantly felt caught in your actions. 

“I’m not sure, honestly. I’ve always loved literature, and the idea of teaching young kids about it just seemed appealing. There’s a lot of power in words, you know? I want to show them that.”

“That’s pretty poetic of you to say,” he smirked. 

“Well, I hope so. I literally teach poetry for a living.”

Joel chuckled quietly, the lines around his eyes crinkling as his smile stretched across his face. Was it terrible that you were picturing him kissing you? Despite every thought in your head that shouted at you not to think about it, it was all you could focus on. 

“Do you enjoy your job?” You countered. 

“I do, most days. Tommy and I are tryna start up our own business one day, but it ain’t in the cards yet. I need to save up a bit more and hopefully work on gettin’ permits and all that before I can actually do it,” he explained. 

“I believe in you,” you said softly. “You’re a hard worker, Mr. Miller.”

“Well, thank you.” His cheeks reddened at your words. 

Both of you sat in comfortable silence for a moment, stealing shy glances and laughing at the emptiness of words. Joel had said he wanted to get to know you more, but the questions seemed far and few. In your mind, you considered that a second date could be in the cards, seeing as though neither of you had yet tired of the other. Even in the quiet moments, Joel had remained completely enraptured by you, never letting his eyes stray too far from yours. 

“Y’ready to get home?” He asked once the bill was paid for.

“I suppose so,” you shrugged. 

Joel’s hand was firm on your lower back as he guided you out of the restaurant and back to his truck. The featherlike touch against your clothed skin was enough to awaken that warmth back into your body, the feeling of it blooming inside you with each step. Inside the truck, you watched as the streets blurred past as Joel drove toward your home. The night was ending, yet you still ached at the thought of him leaving. You didn’t dare to take anything further, and you still didn’t know if that was something he wanted—or if it was something you wanted. 

Seeing your tiny home was a breath of fresh air as Joel put his truck in park. You gathered the flowers from the seat and quietly helped him unload your luggage. The tension between you thickened with each step as you approached the front door. Turning to him, you smiled and squeezed his arm.

“Thank you,” you said, hesitating by the door. “For tonight and everything.”

Joel’s eyes sparkled under your porch light, the darkness of his irises illuminated and dancing in the shadows. He had shrugged off his flannel after hauling your luggage from the truck, and now it hung over his arms, exposing the corded veins running from his hands to his biceps.

“Of course,” he said your name softly. “Y’look beautiful tonight, by the way. I can’t remember if I told you that or not, but really, you’re beautiful.”

Your cheeks warmed at the compliment, and there was no way of hiding the redness creeping over your face and neck. He watched you with a hungry gaze, his eyes roaming your body. Even if you only stood in a sweatshirt and a pair of jeans, Joel looked at you like you were bare before him. 

“Thank you,” you smiled. “I—I know I look like shit, but thank you.

“Y’definitly don’t look like shit,” Joel insisted. “I’ll plan another date so y’can get all dolled up and look even more beautiful. 

“That’s not really necessary. I mean the dressing up part, not the date part. I’d like to go on another date.” You were rambling at this point.

“Sure it is. The world deserves to see y’look beautiful, even if I want to keep you to myself selfishly.”

“Stop it,” you blushed. “Go get home before it gets too late.”

“You tryna get rid of me that quick?”

“I know how much you enjoy talking,” you laughed.

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever,” he grinned, turning to leave. “Y’have a good night, okay?”

“I will. Goodnight, Joel.”

Then you realized what you had said. 

He realized it, too. 

“Y—,” Joel cut himself off. Shaking his head, he let his flannel fall to the ground. “Fuck it,” he whispered.

Joel swarmed you, pressing you against the door as his hands came up to cup your face. Without a second to breathe, his lips crashed against yours until stars sparked behind your eyes. His mouth was warm as he devoured you slowly, drinking in every noise you made. Every one of your senses was evaded by him: the scent of his cologne drifting over your body, the heat of his skin against yours, the sound of his mouth breathing into yours. You found yourself hesitant at first, adjusting to the hardness of his body pressed against yours. He must have also realized it, his mouth slowing as he pulled away. 

“I—shit,” he muttered. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

Your fingers crawled up his chest and gripped at the collar of his shirt, hauling him back to you until your mouth was a breath away from his. 

“Just shut up and kiss me again,” you whispered. 

Then his lips pressed against yours again, this time frantic and all-consuming. You opened your mouth to him, letting him taste the vulnerability spilling out of you, replacing it with desperation you hadn’t yet dared to feel. Your tongue darted out to brush over his bottom lip, and he captured it in another greedy kiss, intertwining himself with you. Joel’s hands moved to tangle in your hair, his fingers lightly pulling as he drew you in closer. Your hands wound their way around his neck; your chest flush against his until all you could feel was the rapid beating of his heart matching yours. There was no way of telling where he began and you ended; you both had melted into one. Lips, teeth, tongue… over and over again, the motion repeated, and you felt the warmth creeping up your spine the more he moved against you. You sunk your teeth into his lip, tugging it slightly, as you pulled away to gasp for air. 

“Joel,” you exhaled, panting softly. 

“Yeah, baby?” His voice was rough as he pressed his forehead to yours.

“What are we doing?”

“I don’t know, but I don’t wanna stop.”

He lowered his lips to kiss down your neck, the chill of his mouth on you prickling your skin. You couldn’t form any words to tell him to stop. You didn’t want him to stop. You were mindless and boneless in his strong grasp, completely untethered from your control. All you could focus on was the way his mouth roamed over the column of your neck, the veins that your blood rushed through throbbing under his lips. Joel’s hand traveled back around, his thumb tipping your jaw upwards so that he could kiss more of your skin. Your eyes blinked at the flickering bulb of your porch light, the sound of crickets chirping somewhere in the distance. His tongue traced a line up your neck, his teeth nipping against your jaw. You let out a soft whine as his mouth connected to yours again, the passion between you snapping into place. 

The night wasn’t ending here. You needed more. The craving was too intense to keep at bay, and you needed him in ways you had been too afraid to admit. Your fingers wound themselves into the curls at the base of his neck, holding him firm against you as you grinned into his open mouth. 

“Come inside,” you mumbled against his moving lips. 

You fumbled blindly for your keys, twisting around to unlock your door; all the while, Joel kept his lips on any part of your skin he could find. He reached around you to shove the door open, and with one arm wound around your waist, you both tumbled over the threshold.

[spacelazarwolf]

most of the jews who barge into my inbox or onto my posts about jews by choice don't actually seem to know literally anything about how conversion actually works, so let me break it down for you.

conversion takes at the very least one calendar year, but can take upwards of several years or even several decades depending on the individual and when they feel ready.

the process (for people who are converting as adults, not people who were converted as children) usually looks something like this

person starts to question if conversion is right for them. this stage can take anywhere from months to years.

if the person is in a place with a jewish community, they start researching synagogues and eventually reach out to a rabbi or several. if they're not in a place with a jewish community, they'll need to decide if they want to move in order to convert.

some rabbis will be indifferent when contacted about conversion, some will send you away to see if you come back (there's an old tradition of sending prospective converts away three times, but this isn't as common practice now), some will be happy to talk to prospective converts.

the person now has a sponsoring rabbi. they will be signed up for educational classes that will teach them the basics of jewish history, jewish tradition, liturgy, etc. they will also be expected to do a lot of independent reading. most prospective converts meet with their sponsoring rabbi once per month or so.

most sponsoring rabbis want prospective converts to have a certain level of observance in order to practice what it will be like to live as a jew. there are some things they may ask prospective converts to hold off on until after their mikveh, like wearing a tallit and wrapping tefillin or wearing a star of david, some orthodox converts will intentionally break shabbat in order to not 'fully observe' until after their mikveh.

there are usually a lot of costs associated with converting. it's very possible to borrow books from libraries or find them for cheap, but many want to fill their bookshelf with as many resources as possible. there is also the cost of judaica, as most prospective converts do not have jewish family to inherit judaica from. this can get incredibly expensive.

the sponsoring rabbi is the one who decides if the prospective convert is ready for their beit din. once they approach the topic with the prospective convert and the convert agrees they are ready, the beit din is scheduled.

for their beit din, three rabbis (or sometimes non rabbinic scholars) will speak to the prospective convert about what their journey has been like, why they want to convert, what they find meaningful, how they have handled any antisemitism they've faced, if they are ready to align themselves with the jewish people for the rest of their life, etc. it's not just a 'u ready?' it can get very intense.

the beit din decides if the prospective convert is ready to join the jewish people. if they decide they're not ready, the prospective convert can continue to study and schedule another beit din in the future. if they decide they are ready, a mikveh is scheduled and the prospective convert becomes a jew.

after that, they're a jew. that's it. the end.

details can vary from community to community, but this is a general rundown of how it works. no one just randomly decides one day to become jewish. people who go through the conversion process, even through movements that are not as rigorous as orthodox movements, are required to do essentially a mini degree in jewish studies, uproot their whole life, potentially lose family, friends, and community, and align themselves with a marginalized people for the rest of their life. so anyone who tries to trash them can sniff my farts.

[spade-riddles]

The dominoes cascaded in a line, 'cause baby WE are the New Romantics

It has begun. Welcome to the beginning of the end.

We hang back, it's all in the timing. Every bait and switch was a work of art. The waiting and waiting and waiting for a signal that could only be sent after a decade of history ran its course.

The patience of so many tortured souls as the tick tick ticking of the clock grew closer and closer to the great escape. A wise poet once said, "the best people in life are free." And free, she shall set them.

On the 10 year anniversary of the album that dared to shout the whispers of their forbidden club, the signal was sent, washing them clean.

An underground secret garden uprooted in an instant for all to see. The key to the gate once buried deep, now dug up and simply left under a door mat.

Those afflicted by their scarlet letters have started and will continue to dress in black in unity, attending their own funerals. The death of self, for the greater rebirth of one's truth.

The model muse is already foreshadowing this approaching change for herself as she not only posted dressed in all black yesterday with a black and white filter, a black emoji heart, and a overall somber tone, but she also included a throwback of herself from 2014. 10 years ago. The origin of 1989 New Romantics. And she did it all on the day of the initial step into daylight.

The first domino has fell. Going anon sent the warning shot.

"Spade, still going, going, going? 🫵👩🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏼🤷🏼‍♀️"

For this was more than merely a surprise song, but instead a hint at the first to tip the scale. Call it what you want, Shawn.

The Mountain: "You can say I like girls or boys; So call it what you want, call it what you want".

The Lover remix feature, who notably played his part as the stand in for Karlie Kloss, became the first of many to "Speak Now".

Dressed in black right on cue, addressing his unreleased song The Mountain,

"The real truth about my life and my sexuality is that I’m just figuring it out like everyone. It feels really scary because we live in a society that has a lot to say about that. And I’m trying to be really brave and just allow myself to be a human and feel things."

Headlines. Headlines. Headlines. An all too familiar publicist is most definitely behind its fast travel in the news.

But why Shawn first you may ask? The Lover remix came out Nov 13th, on a different special anniversary. The one in which the mastermind and model danced in a snowglobe round and round. The Lover house, to no coincidence, is shown to be inside a snowglobe in the Music Video. Shawn's next tour date since his speech? Nov 13th...

The ground work has been laid, and just like clockwork, all will soon fall in line.

Perhaps the one said to be on the rollercoaster will get to share her story in due time. It certainly is a bumpy ride going going going down. 🎢

😳

Karlie’s post:

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[marvelfanfn2187a113]

Reunion

Dean Winchester x little sister!reader, Sam Winchester x little sister!reader

Requested by Anonymous

Synopsis: Dean goes to get Sam at college, but things come to a head when he tried to get you too.

“So, where is she?”

The first several minutes after leaving Stanford had been spent in silence, and Sam only broke it after realizing what was missing in the Impala.

“We’re getting her now.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

Dean sighed. “Bobby’s.”

“Bobby’s?”

Dean avoided Sam’s searching gaze.

“Yeah.”

“You gonna tell me why she’s there and not with you?”

It was silent for several long minutes, and Sam was about to demand an explanation when Dean finally spoke.

“After you left, she kept begging to go and see you. She wouldn’t take no for an answer, and dad got pissed. After she…after she tried to sneak out to take a bus to you, dad dumped her at Bobby’s. That was about eight months ago, and dad hasn’t even mentioned her since.”

Sam gaped at his brother.

“You let that happen?”

Dean scoffed, “It’s not like I let dad do anything. Dad does what he does, and there was nothing I could do about it.” Dean continued to avoid Sam’s eyes. “Besides, she was safer with Bobby. She’d been asking questions about hunting that neither of us were willing to answer, and Bobby’s better at lying to her than I am.”

Despite John’s better judgment, he’d allowed Dean to raise you with no knowledge of the hunting world. You knew that Sam and Dean helped a lot of people, and you’d figured out that their job had something to do with crime—you’d realized that when you noticed how many of their cases came from reading the newspaper—but you didn’t know about monsters.

“Ok,” Sam did a horrible job of hiding his seething, but perhaps that was on purpose. “So why are we getting her now?”

Dean shrugged noncommittally.

“Well, you’re back, figured I’d make it a full reunion.”

“Right,” Sam scoffed. “And dad’s not here to stop you.”

Dean bit back a smile.

“Maybe that too.”

…

“She’s asleep,” Bobby stood with his arms crossed over his chest, blocking the staircase.

“We’re here to get her,” Dean matched his stance and his stubborn expression.

“You shoulda thought of that eight months ago.”

Sam ran a hand across his face, biting back a groan.

“Bobby, please, can we just-“

“Hush, Sam. My beef isn’t with you at the moment.”

“You can’t just keep us from-“

“I can do whatever I dang well please, Dean. She’s been with me for nearly a year, and she just unpacked her bags a few weeks ago. She kept expecting you idjits to come back and get her, but you never did.”

“Dad thought-“

“I don’t give a crap what John thought, you broke her heart. So if you’re gonna take her and raise her proper, then I’ll let you. But if you’re gonna uproot her again, only to drop her back with me the next time she starts asking questions, then it’d be better if she never saw you again.

“We’re not gonna ditch her,” Sam insisted.

“Well thanks for the input, but last I checked you were trying to leave this life behind, so your vote doesn’t count.”

“I’m not gonna leave her, Bobby.”

The conviction in Dean’s voice silenced him for a few seconds.

“And when John comes back?”

Dean shook his head, “She stays with me. No matter what he has to say about it.”

Bobby gave Dean a long, searching look. He’d never heard him openly defy John before, never even say a word against him. When the time came, would he really-

“Dean?”

Dean’s head shot up at the sound of your voice.

“Dean!” You bounded down the stairs, and when you reached the third step you leaped off, landing harshly into Dean’s arms. He staggered back a half step before steadying himself, laughing as he spun you around once before standing in place, lifting a hand to the back of your head as he held you in his arms.

Bobby watched the scene soberly for a moment, before a small smile lifted his lips. He’d gotten his answer. No one who saw the two of you right now could doubt the truth; you were Dean’s girl, and he wouldn’t abandon you.

“Hey baby,” Dean breathed.

“Are you staying?” You held your breath.

“Nope, but you’re coming with us,” Dean promised, finally setting you down.

“Really? I-“ You turned your head, spotting Sam for the first time, and you froze. “Sammy?”

He grinned, “Hey, kiddo.”

You ran into his arms.

“What are you doing here? Are you coming too?”

“Um,” Sam winced slightly, “For a little bit, yeah.”

Then you asked the question that the boys had been hoping to avoid for a bit longer.

“Where’s dad?”

“Honey,” Dean pulled you away from Sam and knelt so he could see you at eye level, placing a hand on your arm. “Dad…he hasn’t come home for a couple weeks. That’s why I got Sammy, we have to go look for him.”

You were silent for a moment.

“Is he ok?” You finally asked.

“We don’t know much right now, but we’re gonna find him, ok? I promise.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck.

“Ok.”

He sighed contentedly, and as he stood you wrapped your legs around his waist, too comfortable in his arms to let go yet.

“I missed you,” you whispered as though it was a special secret for only Dean’s ears.

Dean began to carry you up the stairs, brushing past Sam and Bobby.

Once Dean had reached your room at the top of the stairs, he leaned forwards and pressed a kiss to the side of your head.

“I missed you too,” he whispered back, before gently setting you down. “Pack up your stuff.”

Once you’d grabbed your few possessions and packed them in your backpack, you followed Dean down the stairs, stopping to hug Bobby goodbye.

“Take care of yourself, kiddo.”

You smiled, “You too, old man.”

Bobby scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“Go on, get. Ya idjit.”

Sam followed you out the door, but Bobby grabbed Dean’s arm before he could leave.

“You take care of that little girl, Dean. I know you look up to your dad, you should. But don’t you be like him. You be good to her.”

“I will, Bobby,” Dean clapped a hand on Bobby’s shoulder.

“I promise.”

[nadvs]

OMG, i’ve never written one of these so im nervous lmao. I wanted to say, I am ABSOLUTELY in love with this basketball!rage stories you have going on right now!

Don’t know if i’m getting to ahead of my self, but I can literally imagine reader and rafe when he gets drafted to the NBA. Or even reader sitting courtside on his NBA games, whether only her or with this kids! Also like imagining rafe winning the NBA finals.

I don’t know if you plan on going that far with this series, but just would absolutely love to read about them more!!!! Your writing is so AMAZING!

hi hi aw thank you sm for reading and messaging!! 🥰

based on this fic

AAA I LOVE IT she’d be supporting him as he waits for draft night and he’d be fooling everyone but her that he’s not nervous. in reality, he’s scared as hell that he’s gonna go undrafted.

but then he’s offered a two-year contract for a team states away and that’s when he knows for sure that he loves her because underneath the excitement he feels, he’s scared the distance will ruin things between them.

they do have troubles and they argue a lot when he moves away because their worlds become so different and he gets so busy and wrapped up in his new life. but he doesn’t let it fuck things up. he flies back to see her every single chance he gets. if he’s not playing or training, he’s finding a way to see her. eventually she regains trust in their relationship and uproots her life to move in with him.

the tabloids eat their love story up. she’d be sitting courtside and the camera’s focused on her pre-game while the commentators are talking about how good his season’s been and how interesting it is that he and his girlfriend are college sweethearts from rival schools.

during his first finals season, he injures his shoulder and he goes into a dark place once he gets told he needs to sit out the season. he takes the time off for rest and physical therapy. she’s there for him every day. he’s stronger and better the next time he gets a chance to go to the end with his team. he wins the championship trophy and after celebrating with his teammates into the early hours of the night, he crawls into their bed and he feels like he has to hold her as she sleeps because he cannot believe that this is his life and touching her makes it feel more real.

the next morning, he’s hungover and she tells him he should’ve hydrated (she’s been nagging him about that since their college days).

he has a reputation for being an angry, aggressive player. he becomes a figure people love to hate. he hardly ever agrees to do interviews he doesn’t have to do, but he gets offered to be part of a docu-series on athletes who had almost career-ending injuries but bounced back and he agrees to do the interview with his girl by his side and people all over social media are obsessed with them and how funny their banter is and how obviously in love they are with each other.

it gets to a point where they can’t go anywhere without being recognized and hounded, so he prioritizes booking quiet, private vacations for them every few months so she doesn’t get overwhelmed by it all. she keeps him grounded. she knew him when he was nobody, just a college ball player who bickered with her all the time.

throughout everything, the nature of their relationship never changes. they joke around a lot, but they give it to each other straight when they need to, and it’s what makes them have a strong, happy life together 🥹

[venusgirltarot]

What Does The Next Chapter Of Your Life Look Like? — [♡] ;

☆ ミ book a personal reading with me ☆彡

Pile One ┊ ༑ ࿐ྂ。

Cards: The Hierophant, Page of Swords, Five of Cups, Page of Cups, Nine of Wands, King of Pentacles, Two of Wands, Four of Pentacles, Queen of Wands, Strength

As soon as I started the reading I started hearing “New Rules” by Dua Lipa in my head. Specifically the chorus where she’s like “one: don’t let him in you’ll have to kick him out again, two: don’t be his friend” and some other stuff before she’s like “you ain’t getting over him” it seems like the next chapter of you life is you putting you first and moving on from a past person. There’s not a lot of this person’s energy or really any at all. I can’t pick up on what exactly happened or why you’re moving on and I think it’s because this person has nothing to do with this next chapter of you life. You’re leaving this person and their energy in the past and not allowing them to be apart of your future and that truly seems to be the best decision you could make for yourself right now.

Some of you may have moved for this person? Maybe the two of you moved to a new place together or this was long distance and you moved to be with them? Maybe for some they moved for work so you relocated with them? Uprooted your life for this person to create a new one together in this new place and it just didn’t work out how you expected. It seems important to let you know that everything happens for a reason. You’re here in this new place for a reason so make the most of it, find that reason. Don’t let this person cou time to hold you back or take this new experience away from you. A lot of you seem to be entering this single era where your main and really only focus is you. You’re doing what you want and living the life you dream of in this next chapter. Living however you like with no fear of other’s opinion or judgment. Your just worried about your own happiness and it will be such a freeing and joyful experience for you. I think you’re about to find this new love for yourself. Even if you’re someone that’s confident and has a good sense of self, you’re about to connect with yourself in a way that you never have before. There’s much more depth here.

Some of you may hear from friends or mutual people that this person wants you back. Maybe they’ll try to reach out but won’t be able to get in contact with you so they’ll have mutual friends try to talk to you on their behalf. It feels very icky to me but not only from this person’s part but also these “friends” something about the energy here doesn’t sit right with me. Make sure to be careful trusting any and everybody and don’t keep people around that don’t want to respect your boundaries. Don’t let this person back into your life and don’t let anyone try to manipulate you back into a relationship with this person. I heard “not deserving of your energy and not worth your time”

This next chapter is about you and your love for yourself. It’s about self respect and kindness towards yourself. It’s setting boundaries and protecting your energy. Drinking more water and getting into a good routine/skin care routine seems significant as well as mint or lemon in your water? And chewing gum? Maybe that resonates for someone. Don’t be afraid to try new things or take classes on something you’ve always wanted to try. Pilates and cooking classes are coming in. Some of you may be wanting to start social media and that would be a good thing to do during this time if it’s something you’ve been thinking about. However if you’ve been wanting to start social media, specifically TikTok/YouTube or both please keep in mind that there are people or maybe like a management company that will want you to sign contracts or manipulate and take advantage of you so be mindful of that. You could blow up around the holidays if you start now and could get offers that you need to be wary of. That’s only if you have the desire to get on social media or have already started trying to build your social media so only take that message if it resonates.

I’ll end this reading by reminding you to be kind and gentle with yourself always 💓 take time to appreciate and truly live in this next chapter of your life because it’s a beautiful one, Pile 1. There’s so many exciting things happening for you.

Pile Two ┊ ༑ ࿐ྂ。

Cards: The World, Ten of Cups, The Magician, The Fool, Queen of Wands, Three of Pentacles, Queen of Cups, Strength, Death

Ahhh Pile Two I’m so excited for you!!! So it seems like you’re about to or just have achieved some huge milestone in your education/career. Maybe you’ve just finished school or an internship and now you’re applying to or about to start your dream job/just started your dream job. As far as this job or career goes, it seems you’ll fit in really well and come across and knowledgeable and well experienced by your peers so if that’s something you’re worried about, it isn’t something to worry about at all!

It seems like the biggest and really only concern going into this next chapter is possibly imposter syndrome or feeling like you don’t deserve this career or maybe can’t handle it. Therapy might be something you want to think about/look into. I think having an unbiased professional to tell you that you deserve this position and you’ve earned it because the work you’ve done has paid off. I’m also think routine could be important. A lot of these doubts/fears could come for you late at night so it’s important to go to sleep at a good time and get up in the morning. Keeping a good routine will ensure you’re not up at 3am to stress and overthink. You could have a large workload that can take time to get used to so make sure to take breaks and not overwhelm yourself with too much. Know that if you weren’t qualified, you wouldn’t be in this position and you’re here because you’re deserving of it.

Don’t be afraid to start conversations or get to know your co-workers. I think some of your closest connections can come from them and going out with your co-workers for lunch or after work can be a good way to decompress and ease your stress. I think these connections will also help you find mentors and also realize that you’re not alone in your initial fears and worries surrounding this job.

I think you’ll either start out or work your way up to a leadership role. This is just such a role model leader type of energy I see you in. I think you’ll get very comfortable within a few months (possibly 6-8?) after starting this new career and I think it’s largely in part due to your co-workers and just the overall work environment/vibe. It’s very inviting and leaves a lot of room for mistake and growth. You’ll feel very supported in this new position.

Overall, Pile Two, I think it’s important for you to not put too much pressure on yourself and go into this new experience knowing you’re so loved and supported in this new endeavor. I heard “everything works out for you” 🥺 make sure to give yourself the credit you deserve! Celebrate yourself and all your accomplishments! You’ve come very far, Pile Two, please don’t forget that. You’re deserving of everything good and happy and positive!

Pile Three ┊ ༑ ࿐ྂ。

Cards: Five of Cups, King of Swords, King of Cups, Queen of Pentacles, Ten of Cups, The Hermit, Death, Five of Swords, Four of Pentacles, Queen of Cups, Five of Swords, Six of Pentacles, Ten of Wands, Ten of Swords

Okay, Pile Three. So we have a lot to get into here and I want to try to go into as much detail as I can with a general reading. It seems like you’re in a serious long term relationship that might be coming to an end or simply a rough patch. This is where I find it difficult to go in as depth with it being a general reading because I can’t say whether or not your relationship will survive this period because for some it will and others it won’t. I’m curious to see how many of you felt drawn to piles one and three because I feel like there’s going to be some overlap here. I thought I’d make it through this reading without a Taylor Swift song/reference but “You’re Losing Me” by Taylor Swift is coming through SO heavily in this reading and also fits this situation perfectly.

I’m not sure if one of you want marriage/kids while the other doesn’t is part of the problem or maybe it’s a lack of communication, trust, connection, etc. or the two of you just simply growing apart. There’s a strong desire for you to pull through and come out it this rough patch but maybe you’re person doesn’t see any issue at all in your relationship or maybe they just don’t care to fix it. It’s this very frustrating energy of you just hoping, wishing and waiting for this person to see things the way you do and start putting in the effort and desire you need from them.

There’s just a lot of imbalance and miscommunication or maybe no communication at all in this connection and the resentment and anger towards each other is just growing. I heard “at what point do you let go” there’s this feeling of defeat and sorrow. How much longer do you have to fight for a relationship that may not make it anyway? It’s a difficult situation and I know it’s frustrating but the answer to your question is really in your hands. I can’t give you a solid “yes” or “no” or tell you directly whether to stay or go because it seems to be a decision that you need to make for yourself.

Whether you stay or go, I think it’s incredibly important for you to de-center this person and your relationship with them and center yourself. Prioritize yourself and your wants/needs and see how that changes your perspective. Finding yourself and connecting with yourself on a deeper level will help you find the answer to your questions. When you come to a place where you really know yourself and your wants/needs and have enough respect for yourself to only accept the absolute best for yourself, you’ll know whether it’s best to stay or go. Put you first and see where that leads you. Know that you’re deserving of the love you desire and don’t accept anything less. You’re worthy of love, kindness, and care so don’t stay around anyone that can’t offer you those things. I heard “put yourself first and happiness will follow”

Pile Three, I’m very sorry if this message was frustrating or didn’t give you as direct of an answer as you were hoping for but I do hope it provided you with some peace and clarification. Please be kind and gentle with yourself and come to a decision only when you’re ready. Prioritize yourself and your wants/needs and know you’re deserving of nothing less than the absolute best.

[maniacwatchestheworld]

DPxDC requested prompt (#7)

(@bearerofendlesspain You know... Only after writing this whole thing do I realize that I had read this prompt wrong... WHOOPS! I read it as "Poison Ivy and Tucker are eating blood blossoms to extinction." and not as what was likely intended which seems to have been more along the lines of... "Batman rogue: Poison Ivy. Conflict: Tucker is eating blood blossoms to extinction." ... Which in this particular context are way, WAAAAAY different ideas! I could have saved myself a lot of distress if I had read it correctly... >.> But ah well! Whoops! Hope you enjoy this anyway! Thinking about a plant going extinct like this was quite distressing for me to write! :D)

"Hey. Thanks for helping me out with this, Tuck. And you know... For keeping all of this a secret from Sam." Danny smiled in appreciation to Tucker as they began to break ground with their shovels. "She would probably HATE what we're doing right now!"

"Yeah, of course, dude! It's no problem at all. The more we get rid of these blood blossoms here in Amity Park, the better it is for you and all of the ghosts in the area! Besides, I never want to even think about having to eat another one of these things ever again!" Tucker shivered at the memory of having to eat blood blossoms to save Danny and Sam's lives.

With that, the two got to work killing the bush of blood blossoms. They were digging to expose the roots so they could tear the plant from the ground whole. That made things easier when they would shove the entirety of the plant into a plastic garbage bag along with the other blood blossom bushes they had already uprooted. Once they were done with this area, they would take all of the bushes they had uprooted over the course of the day and bring them to an incinerator where they would destroy the plant- burning the flowers, stems, roots, and seeds all in one fell swoop. They had to make certain to destroy the whole plant, including the roots and seeds, just to make sure that there was no chance of the bush growing back from just its roots or more bushes getting planted in their place. They had been making good progress in wiping out the blood blossoms in this area. They just had a few more to uproot here and they could move on to the next area! They had been at this for months and were getting pretty close to their goal of exterminating blood blossoms in the whole of Amity Park!

But just as they were pulling this bush from the ground, a beautiful red-haired woman started charging towards them. "What do you think you're doing!???" she roared. The woman was clearly frantic.

Danny and Tucker glanced to one another. "Removing a bush...?" Danny answered, not certain what was going on.

"'Removing a bush' ... Alright, kids, stop what you're going and step away from that 'bush' right now!" She demanded. And while Danny complied, letting go of the plant and backing away, Tucker didn't and instead began to haul the shrub from the ground.

"Come on, lady. We're just removing some weeds. This isn't anything to freak out over." Tucker turned to roll his eyes at the woman where Danny could see but she couldn't.

"A 'weed'? A 'WEED'!!? You really don't have any idea what you're doing do you!? Do you even know what these 'weeds' are!?" The woman was obviously distressed, and growing more agitated by the moment.

Tucker let out a flippant breath. "They're blood blossoms, duh."

"Yes. And this specific species of blood blossoms are native and endemic to the Amity Park area!"

"Okay...? So what?" Tucker wasn't entirely certain what she was talking about.

"And they're an endangered species!"

"Oh... I- I didn't know!" Danny swore, suddenly feeling bad about what he and Tucker had been doing.

"So?" Meanwhile, Tucker had the opposite reaction. "What are you, a botanist or something? Who cares if these blood blossoms go extinct?"

"Yes. I am a botanist..." Danny was watching as the horror on the woman's face was slowly turning into fury.

"Tucker...? I think that you should just leave the plant alone..." Danny cautiously advised.

"What!? After all the work we've put into killing off all of these stupid flowers? Now you're starting to sound like Sam! We've been at this months! No way I'm stopping now!"

"MONTHS!???" That was the absolute last straw. These children have been exterminating these poor, defenseless, endangered plants for months!? Dr. Pamela Isley- more famously known as Poison Ivy- had heard enough. These boys were going to pay. "You might not care about these flowers dying, but I do! The land- The Green does! You need biodiversity in order to have a healthy ecosystem, and these flowers play an important role in that! You can't just go around, carelessly digging up and killing innocent, endangered plants without there being... Consequences."

[saerins]

─── 𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐄

+ itoshi sae x f!reader | wc 2.7k | content: angst, an alternate ending for this fic: whole

notes: for @veraberaxx who requested for this !! i know some of you guys would’ve stayed with nagi okay <3 he’s such a precious one here

summary: sae rarely knows what he’s doing when he comes to you. and sometimes, by the time he figures it out, it’s all way too late and you’re too far gone.

sae remembers you better than he can make sense of. you, and every little thing you do.

how you overcook your eggs in the morning when he’s on video call with you. how you make his bad days so much better without even having to try because you’re the only person in the world who can make him laugh. how your hands feel against his cheeks when you’re admiring him in that cute way you do.

god, he misses you. and he’s never been able to understand why people constantly feel the need to be around each other physically until now.

a conversation that was supposed to be a pastime haunts him.

“you sure it’s what’s best for her though?”

sae blinked, having no clue what his captain was even alluding to. “what are you talking about?”

his captain sighed, leaning back against the door, crossing his arms. “i mean, she’s probably waiting for you right? to go home?”

of course you are. you’re always waiting for him. what was his captain going on about?

“are you ever going to?”

is he?

he finds himself stuck; he’s not sure. there’s the part of him that yearns for you, that wants you around, that wants to live somewhere where you can be by his side.

“i mean, i could ask her to move with me.” it was a valid option, right?

his captain shook his head. “dude, then what happens if you break up? she’ll have uprooted her whole damn life for you, moved away to some faraway place.”

it was something he couldn’t find a response to. and maybe now he’s regretting not having more experience in this field because what’s he supposed to do? he wants you, yes. he wants to make this work, yes.

but can he? he doesn’t fucking know.

sae’s horrible at this.

how does he do this? how can he speak normally to you after all the thinking he’s done? he wants to be with you, really. but how can he be when you’re so far away? when he doesn’t know when or if he’ll come back?

“sae, you there?”

he’s pulled back into the present when you call his name. he can’t even remember what you were talking about before he zoned out.

“yeah, sorry i’m here, was just tired,” he offers, aware that he’s been tired a lot lately. but you keep believing him, maybe because he is but not in the way you think.

physically, yes maybe. but it’s not something he can’t tolerate. but mentally? it’s the biggest toll he’s ever taken. and as much as he doesn’t want to, maybe he can’t keep doing this to you. can’t keep stringing you along with him, with his unsureness and his doubts.

“i- look, i-i know it’s hard but we can—”

fuck, this is way harder than he thought it’d be. hearing your voice crack is enough to make him lose his mind. which is why he does this swiftly, can’t have you swaying his heart when he’s made up his mind.

maybe he should’ve chosen a better timing to break up with you than in the locker room right before his next game. it’s stupid, yeah, but he knows if he doesn’t get it done now he’s just going to delay it until he doesn’t even want to do it anymore.

sae’s phone vibrates right after he hangs up, and he feels his heart breaking into pieces reading your message.

you don’t want me anymore, sae?

he does. he really does. but he doesn’t know what the fuck to do with this, with himself, with you. he really wants to keep you forever, but he can’t.

maybe it’s pathetic. and maybe it’s an excuse. but maybe if it’s meant to be, it’ll be.

he hopes it will be.

it’s stupid, stupid, stupid. it’s so fucking stupid.

sae does it anyway.

he types nagi seishiro into the stupid google search because just who is this guy, anyway? he’s a little peeved about having your stories with him pop up all the time.

“just don’t watch it, stupid.”

“fuck off, rin.”

as if it was that easy.

scores of articles pop up in his phone, all relating to how nagi seishiro is soccer’s next top genius or upcoming star player. sae feels a scowl on his face as he presses into one of the article headers—nagi seishiro, bachelor no more?

and there it is, a picture of you and nagi walking down the street, hand in hand and sae wants to kill himself right now. nobody else is supposed to be intimate with you like that, and he had thought he knew what he was signing up for when he broke up with you so evidently he thought wrong.

but he isn’t given any time to heal a broken heart, and he thinks he deserves it anyway because it’s his fault that the both of you are where you are in the first place, so maybe he’ll just have to keep on living like this, with half his heart displaced and his devotion always wavering.

sae’s almost sure he can keep this game up—this game of ignoring your existence. it’s the only way he’ll make it out of this alive. but one day he’s bound to slip up.

and that happens to be tonight, when he’s tipsy and forlorn.

your number’s the first one he calls as he sits on his balcony, admiring the view that’s pretty lacklustre without you in it. barely five rings and you pick up.

but it’s not your voice.

“hello?”

by his guesses, it’s nagi. sae has to look at the clock on his phone. it’s 10pm in spain, which means it’s 5am in japan—and nagi’s the one picking up your calls?

“um—”

sae’s rehearsed countless situations of what he might say when you picked up depending on your reaction, but how was he supposed to know someone else was going to pick up?

what the fuck is he supposed to say to your boyfriend?

“oh,” nagi says, voice fading away slightly before coming back. “you’re itoshi sae.”

“yeah.”

“y/n’s washing up right now,” nagi tells him, carefree. “want me to tell her to call you back?”

“no, that’s fine.” because there’s no need for that. because sae’s going to dig himself a hole and lay in it. you probably won’t be able to reach him.

nagi says okay, and sae thinks he’s about to hang up when he hears him ask a question, “do you still love her or something?”

“no.”

nagi hums, “you’re a terrible liar. why would you be calling her at this timing then?”

“wrong number.”

“still terrible.”

“okay bye.”

“wait—” nagi calls out just before sae hangs up and he pauses for a while. sae can hear you humming in the background before you fade away again. it’s torture, really.

“what do you want?” sae sighs. he’s tipsy and in no mood to talk to anyone but you.

cruel, cruel world.

“if you’re not done with her,” nagi sighs too, because both of them would rather be talking to you than each other. “maybe you should tell her.”

sae’s just a little taken aback because why is your boyfriend telling your ex to talk to you with such intentions?

“don’t get me wrong, i’m taking better care of her than you ever did,” nagi says, getting on sae’s nerves, “but she thinks you hate her. and i really don’t like to see her sad.”

sae feels his heart dropping to the ground.

“i’d like to tell her that you’re so in love with her that you’re still calling her at 5am, but i’m not gonna.”

“you’re weird.”

“maybe,” nagi compromises, “but at least i’m not the stupid one who let her go.”

after a long pause, nagi resumes, “it’ll be too late soon if you don’t speak up.”

and then all sae can hear is the dial tone, and all he can feel is misery.

sae didn’t realise what nagi meant by it being too late if he didn’t speak up soon. that’s why he’s now running across the airport like a madman, it’s why everyone and everything drowns into the background, like they’re half-muted and swirling together.

in his bid to forget you, he’s been avoiding going on social media at all. he’s gone complete radio silence on everyone except for his teammates. he’s been so far less of himself that even his own brother is tired of trying to reach out to him.

it’s been several months since then.

maybe it’s a cruel joke that’s playing on him now; the day he comes back online, the day he decides to take nagi’s stupid advice—you’re already engaged to him.

you’re about to become mrs nagi soon and sae’s really never going to forgive himself.

it’s funny how easily the realisation comes to him; how he can never get over you, how he should’ve never pushed you away. he wants your good morning texts and your goodnight kisses, your bad cooking because he’s worse at it. your laugh, he wants to hear it next to his ear while you’re both about to fall asleep. everything about you—he wants it.

and he doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing right now, he’s running on pure adrenaline. he’s not even dressed for a wedding—not in his black sweater and black slacks. but fuck this, he thinks, stealing a cab from someone else, he just needs to see you. has to.

it’ll be too late soon if you don’t speak up.

nagi was long ready to propose to you. he probably already had a ring by the time sae got up the guts to call you.

it’s 1pm and he doesn’t even know if you’ve said your vows yet. he can’t remember anything rin told him over the phone and now his brother isn’t even picking up. nobody’s posting anything online either, fuck.

doesn’t help that his cab driver’s a foul mouth with an equally foul temper.

“could you drive faster?”

“oh sure, why don’t i just tell all the traffic lights to make way for little prince over here?”

sae sinks into the seat. today is really not his day, but he’ll screw the universe before he lets it tell him that he shouldn’t be doing this.

it’s 1.23pm by the time sae reaches the church, and the tall black doors never looked more intimidating. it looms over him, and he’s almost afraid to open it. but he has nothing more to lose except for you—so he opens the double doors anyway, runs down the corridors until he’s at the right hall; and it’s too loud the way he flings the doors open, the way the silence rings in his head when everyone in the room turns to face him.

sae’s only looking at you though, and even from this distance he can see your gaze fixed on him—like how everyone else’s is—and then the hushed whispers start to come but he doesn’t care for that. he catches rin in the crowd too, wide-eyed and with that what the fuck are you doing stare.

it’s clear that sae has no clue what he’s doing, why else would he be crashing a wedding he wasn’t even invited to? but his gaze turns back to you and sae freezes in the middle of the aisle, cheeks and nose red from the cold and he can see the sorrow in your eyes as you hold nagi’s hands.

sae opens his mouth until he catches you shaking your head, and then he stops. that’s when you break his heart to save him the further humiliation.

you turn back to nagi and smile the sweetest sae’s ever seen you smile.

“i do.”

sae would’ve already gone home if rin hadn’t stopped him. he would’ve been on the first flight back to spain by now but instead he’s here, at your wedding reception, entertaining rin’s friends.

“not my friends,” he grumbles, but it sure seems like it.

entertaining these guys isn’t his first choice, but he supposes it’s much better than watching the videos they’re playing of you and nagi’s time together up until now.

“hey, can i borrow him for a while, you guys?”

it’s cruel how you ask him to follow you, how you invite him to the dance floor. how he has to put his hand on your waist and know that it’s not leading to anything more, that you’re not his and you never will be.

“so, what do i owe the pleasure of you gatecrashing my wedding?”

you look beautiful. you smell pretty. you’re everything he wants.

sae doesn’t answer. you already know it anyway.

“sei told me,” you say, still not looking at him. “about how you called at 5am that one time.”

“oh, did he now.”

“mhm,” you nod your head and sae catches a whiff of your shampoo. his favourite. everything about you is his favourite. “you know, i wanted it to be you.”

sae looks confused and you chuckle, and god how he’s missed hearing that. “i dreamed of us being the ones to say i do, for a long time actually.”

he doesn’t know what to make of this, doesn’t know why you’re telling him all of this. he especially doesn’t know how to tell you that it’s the same for him.

“lucky for you it’s not me, then,” he chokes out, looking across the room at nagi, who nods at him. sae thinks that at least you ended up with someone who really seems to care about you.

you laugh nervously, “yeah, lucky me.” you’re soft, like you’re not convinced, but sae knows better than that. you’d never go through with it if you weren’t sure.

but she thinks you hate her. and i really don’t like to see her sad.

“i don’t, by the way.”

for the first time now, you look at him. “huh?”

“i don’t hate you, i never did,” sae explains, painfully aware that this is neither the time nor place but he doesn’t think he’ll ever see you or talk to you again so it’s now or never.

and you smile, and he loves that. loves you.

“how’s he treating you?”

“sei?” you turn to look at your husband, grinning from ear to ear when you see that isagi and reo are messing about with him. “he’s perfect.”

sae begs to differ. you are, that’s all he knows.

“good then.”

“what, are you planning to beat him up if i said no?”

“no,” sae scoffs. “but i’d steal you away.”

for a moment, your head lays on his chest and the way his heart beats brings you back to the present, to the fact that sae is someone from the past and he should stay there.

“so what now, itoshi sae?” you ask, pulling yourself away from him, an invisible line drawn between the both of you.

sae shrugs, and he knows what time it is. “back to spain, back to soccer, i guess.”

no longer back to you.

he now has an answer to his captain’s question.

“i’ll see you around, itoshi sae.” (you think you’d still have to watch his games when he plays because seishiro watches them. even if he says it’s a little disturbing that the one doing so well is your ex-boyfriend.)

“are you ever going to?”

no, he can’t go home anymore. it doesn’t exist.

sae nods. and he manages one last smile, a subtle one, a soft one, the one you’re so familiar with, the one you’ve been missing all this time. you press your lips together to stop yourself from smiling.

sae remembers you, and every little thing you do. especially how you manage to slip away from him, the only love he ever knew.

“sayonara, y/n.”

[casanovawrites]

random sentence prompts  ━ from various tv shows, part 14

you’re still speaking in the present tense.

you barely know us.

i’m your best friend? you’ve known me for like four weeks.  

i was seeing someone and i fucked it up. i fucked it up because i’m fucked up.

you’re a fucking creep, i’m a fucking catch.

i’m charming as shit.

all i want is for people to like me, but i just keep hurting people instead.

that’s just what we do. we look out for each other.

my nightmares don’t usually serve breakfast.

you’re pretty much a pain in my ass. and most days, you suck.

delusions make me happy.

we can’t play defense forever.

i think i like you better than anyone i know.

nothing that i’ve been through is possible. i feel like my mind is breaking.

i know it’s dangerous here.

i’m sorry, are you invested in the happiness of someone else?

things change. here, it’s usually bad.

i hesitate to tell you this, because you’re pathologically overconfident, but you’re cute.

you’re a good person with all your bad qualities.

hope is what makes you willing to suffer.

i want to feel that full-blown compliment.

buddy, fuck off, okay?

fuck you, you really hurt my feelings, and i hope an air conditioner falls on you.

my heart’s belonged to you since the moment i met you.

when the fuck are we not at risk?

hot. you’re hot.

i don’t want to be like this. it’s terrifying.

you’re not fucked up. you’re like the most together person i know. 

all i am is a dumb motherfucker who keeps getting people killed.

my mom adores you.

great, you’re yelling at me again.

i think the only way you can be happy is if you’re yourself.

is it just physically impossible for you not to be an asshole for longer than 10 minutes?

i like you a lot better when you’re not yelling at me.

it’s real, and i’m fucking terrified.

i have done things i can’t undo.

i just feel like all i’ve been doing lately is hurting people.

you do not just get to come in here, dump a load of shit like that, and then walk away.

i don’t want to let this place decide when we get to be happy.

i promise i won’t cry on you if you sit next to me.

you are my home, and i would really like to be yours.

you look how i feel.

i don’t give a shit about your word.

i know their type. everything’s a personal attack, a goddamn battle.

you know it’s okay to tell people to fuck off every once in a while, including your friends.

she looked good. i mean, hateful. but good.

it’s poor form to blame the dead.

i’m bothered by people who don’t know how good they have it.

you’re trapped with me. in a fun way.

this place is haunted. everywhere i look, i see somewhere you lied to me.

i don’t feel better off. i just feel left.

i made my choices. so did you.

broken people don’t survive here.

i am exiting our one-sided relationship.

one failed marriage, who hasn’t been there?

i just need to know you’ve got your shit together.

i don’t need a pep talk. i just need to know that you’re back.

mostly everybody here’s depressed.

rule number one: never trust the love interest.

now i know how to take care of my problems.

i can’t uproot my life just to make you happy.

i was never rooting for you to be unhappy. i just wanted you to have more.

stop saying that everything’s going to be okay.

you are not some hopeless screw up.

no one listens to me. no one.

i’m not a problem for you. i’ve never been a problem for you.

there are no mistakes. just choices. and you chose what was right for you.

if someone came up to you right now and said, ‘do this one bad thing and everyone gets to go home,’ would you do it?

i don’t want to know the answer.

when we’re together, i feel a lot. and mostly, it’s good.

we don’t have time to be delicate.

actually, you might be the best thing in my life.

i don’t know what to do, and that really freaks me out.

i’m not gonna stand here and pretend it was a good day.

there are always gonna be monsters in the world. it doesn’t matter where you are. but i promised myself i would never let them scare the life out of me.

i don’t give a shit what you are.

i’m doing this for you. i’m doing it for all of us.

if this shit goes sideways, you have to be ready to step up.

i need you to do me a favor. cut yourself some slack.

you trust me to decide the rest of your life?

you have a sense of direction. 

when did life become this big monster we have to just constantly feed?

we don’t have to live like the sky is always falling.

i’m not afraid of the dark.

you think i’m a monster?

what’s happening to us?

what part of this is okay?

that was death, and it’s coming… right now.

[messysketchyobeyme]

Can Demons Purr?

Satan/Gender-Neutral Reader

This fic is set in Nightbringer!

Summary:

“Can we do that?”

“Huh?”

Satan shook his head, seemingly too entranced by the kitty to formulate complete thoughts. “I mean, can demons purr?” He gazed at you, tilting his head slightly to the side. “I’ve only had a body for a year at this point, and I’m still learning about what it’s capable of.”

"...Let’s see for ourselves, shall we?”

Word Count: 2,200

---

Yet another fight had broken out between the brothers, and Lucifer had called you over to stop Beelzebub from destroying the kitchen…again. You had half the mind to tease Lucifer over the phone for relying so much on you when just a couple of months ago he all but said that he’d rather drop dead than have an attendant to babysit him and his brothers. However, Lucifer’s quiet, exhausted voice made you bite your tongue and head right over. 

Although you were still miffed at being downgraded from family to class mediator in the blink of an eye, you began your trek to the House of Lamentation without one of your usual complaints. It was one of the few moments you could hang out with the brothers, even though most of that time was spent ensuring they didn’t get themselves into trouble.

…Now that you thought about it, maybe things weren’t so different, after all. 

As you walked up the path toward the brothers’ home, you spotted Satan standing in the garden. 

Wait.

You did a double take to confirm that, yep, Satan was there with his back facing toward you, his fists clenching and unclenching rapidly. His entire body was tense with his shoulders hunched over. 

Huh. You had assumed that Satan was involved in the fight but apparently not. A small sliver of guilt washed over you, but you quickly dismissed it.

Glancing over at the House of Lamentation, you didn’t see a hole being struck through the wall or anything else out of the ordinary. You probably had a few minutes to see what was up with Satan before having to head inside and placate the rest of the brothers. 

You cautiously stepped toward Satan. The grass crunched softly underneath your shoes. “Hey, Satan. What’s up?”

Satan’s breath hitched as he whipped his head around to face your direction. He visibly relaxed when he saw you making your way over. “I thought you were one of my brothers.” He turned back around to where he was facing before. 

Should you have been offended by that? Either way, you noted that he didn’t answer your greeting or your question. “What are you looking at?” you asked. 

You followed his line of sight to see a beautiful calico cat playfully swatting the plants that lined the base of the tree she was under. Splotches of black decorated the orange bits of her fur, which practically glowed under the moonlight. No wonder Satan was so enthralled. 

“That cat over there.” Satan pointed, confirming what you had thought. “I’ve been trying to pet her all day, but she keeps running away from me. I hate it.” Satan kicked the dirt, uprooting some of the grass with it. 

“Well, cats can be skittish creatures at times. If you’re not careful, you may end up scaring her.”

“I’m not scary!” Satan snapped. 

You took a sharp breath and tensed up. Even the cat seemed to momentarily raise her head at his outburst. Satan’s furrowed eyebrows relaxed into a face that you couldn’t quite name. That happened a lot with Satan, you noticed. Whenever his enraged expression would melt away, it would always be replaced by something you didn’t have the emotional intelligence to understand. Was it regret, sorrow, or something else entirely?

“I never said you were,” you said softly. In any other circumstance, you would have given Satan a hug by now, but this wasn’t your Satan. This one was still hesitant about receiving physical affection and would often rebuke any attempts.

 He looked away. “Asmo tried to teach me how to be more approachable to cats the other day, but I think he was just using it as an excuse to dress me up.” 

“Was he now?” you said in amusement. You could tell that Asmodeus was trying his best to befriend Satan, even though his actions tended to be a little off the mark. “I can teach you, instead. I’m pretty sure I have more experience in dealing with cats.”

It was subtle, but Satan’s eyes lit up. “Would you?”

You nodded, smiling at him. “Yes, of course.” His wide-eyed expression was so cute that you had to physically stop yourself from pinching his cheek. “As I said before, cats tend to be kind of timid, so it’s important that you let them come to you rather than the other way around.” 

Ah, if only you had some cat food on hand to draw her over here. You could try to get something from the fridge, but Beelzebub’s rampage probably meant that the kitchen was off-limits for now. You’d have to do without. 

“Here, why don’t we sit down?” You almost grab his shoulders, intent on gently guiding him down, before stopping in your tracks. 

Although you and Satan definitely had a more amicable relationship compared to when you first met, you still weren’t entirely sure if he was comfortable with you touching him just yet. Instead, you sat down and patted the grassy area next to you. Satan followed suit, sitting crossed-legged. His knee was barely touching yours. 

“Like this?” he asked quietly.

You clapped your hands together. “Exactly like this. And now, we wait.”

“For how long?”

You shrugged. “For however long it takes for her to come over here.” The cat was now batting a couple of stray sticks that must have fallen off of the tree. “She seems to be naturally curious, so it shouldn’t take long.”

“Oh, okay,” Satan said. After a few seconds of him twiddling his thumbs, he asked, “Do cats have soft fur?”

“Most do,” you answered, “Though, it depends on how well groomed it is.”

“Her fur looks soft.”

“It does.”

Satan tapped his legs. “I hope I’ll get to feel it soon.” 

You hoped so, too. 

The cat was now chewing on the stick, her tail swishing behind her. She was much closer to the two of you than before, but she was still a long way away.

Satan hummed. He plucked at the grass surrounding his shoes. “I like it when she meows. It doesn’t happen often, but it’s cute.”

“Is it?”

“Yeah, I hope you’ll be able to hear it soon.”

Your heart quivered. That was a sweet sentiment. You became lost in thought as the crows chirped overhead. You missed Satan dearly, as you did with the rest of the brothers from the present, but this wasn’t so bad. You enjoyed seeing a different side to the brothers that you never thought you’d ever get to know. 

You flinched when Satan slammed his hand on your knee. “She’s coming,” he whispered urgently. 

Sure enough, the cat was casually strolling over in your direction. Her tail was curved upward into the shape of a question mark, and her green eyes darted around curiously. She came to you first, butting her head against your leg. You held your hand in front of her nose to give her some time to sniff you. When she did, you began to scratch behind her ears, quietly cooing at the way her ears twitched. 

Satan was staring intently at the cat, who was leaning into your hand to get more pets. She was a greedy little thing, wasn’t she? You grinned. “What are you waiting for?” you whispered.

Satan absentmindedly squeezed your knee. You didn’t think he realized he was doing it. “I’m afraid I’ll scare her again,” he said. His voice was strained. 

“May I?” you asked. Satan hesitantly nodded. 

You gently lifted up his hand and guided him toward the cat. Satan bristled at your touch but soon relaxed when you, with your hand on top of his, showed him how to pet the cat along its back. She chirped happily, and you removed your hand, allowing Satan to stroke her fur on his own. 

A tiny smile appeared on his face. It was so subtle that you probably wouldn’t have noticed if you weren’t looking directly at him. “It is soft,” Satan muttered in astonishment. 

The cat flopped down on her back, revealing the white fur along her stomach. Satan drew his hand back, now unsure what to do now that his only petting spot was covered. He looked at you for guidance, and you jerked your head forward to silently say, “Go on.”

Satan wavered for a few seconds before copying what you had done before. He scratched the cat behind her ears, causing her to flick her head back. Satan’s face brightened up, and his eyes danced in excitement. His giddiness was palpable as you found yourself smiling, as well.

The cat closed her eyes and let out a tiny mewl. A low vibrating-like sound emanated from her as she cuddled up to Satan’s hand. 

His mouth fell open. “What is that?” he asked incredulously.

Satan had to be careful about getting that innocent look in his eyes, or else you’d fall in love with him all over again.

“She’s purring,” you said, “It means she’s happy. She likes you.” You reached over and gave the cat a few good strokes along the top of her head.

His voice was breathy and quiet. “I like her, too,” he said, “Can other animals purr?”

You scratched your cheek. “Uh, I’m not actually sure. I think some wild cats can purr, too.”

“Can we do that?”

“Huh?”

Satan shook his head, seemingly too entranced by the kitty to formulate complete thoughts. “I mean, can demons purr?” He gazed at you, tilting his head slightly to the side. “I’ve only had a body for a year at this point, and I’m still learning about what it’s capable of.”

You racked your brain to try to think of any moment when you had heard any of the demon brothers purr. Aside from any cat-spell-related mishaps, you didn’t recall a particular moment. If you had to pick, you guessed your Satan was the one who’d come closest to ‘purring.’ He’d often hum in contentment whenever you massaged his head or gave him a back scratch. But, did that count?

You were about to shake your head when you bit your lip and paused. What if demons could purr, and you’ve just never heard it before? Although that would be a low blow to your ego, you didn’t want to give Satan the wrong information. If he found out later on that demons could actually purr, that would put your integrity–and very identity–on the line. 

As you were deliberating this little dilemma of yours, the cat sat up. Satam froze as she shook her body and sauntered off. Her tail waved in the air as she disappeared into the distance, off to go play with who knows what.

Satan winced and started anxiously massaging his hand. “Did I do something wrong?” He sounded uncharacteristically meek, which put you on edge. 

“No, no, you didn’t,” you said, “She probably just had her fill of pets for now. We’ll probably see her again later today.”

“Oh. I hope we see her soon, then.”

You hummed, thinking that you were safe. “I do, too.”

Satan turned to face you. “As for my question?” His eyes were soft, yet curious. 

Dang it. 

Small beads of sweat prickled your back. “Yes, well, um, let’s see for ourselves, shall we?” You reached out toward him, your hand hovering just before his face. 

Satan tensed, tightening his jaw. His pupils fluttered around, as though desperately searching for a hint of mockery in your expression. When he found none, his cheeks slowly reddened as if he just now understood what you were asking. The blush that threatened to engulf the entirety of his face complimented the color of his eye. It was cute. He was cute. 

He looked down, squeezing his eyes shut in what you hoped wasn’t shame. Then, gradually, he nodded, finally granting you the permission you were waiting for. 

You tenderly grasped the underside of his jaw and gently scratched the area leading to his ear. You had expected him to stiffen up immediately, but you found him unwinding himself under your touch. 

Satan was trying to fight the feeling, judging by the way his eyebrows had stitched together, but, soon enough, he gave up. Satan leaned into the palm of your hand, and a soft sigh accidentally escaped his lips. A wobbly, lopsided grin stretched onto his face when you started caressing him behind the ear. 

However, he didn’t purr. You withdrew your hand. “I guess that settles it, demons can’t–”

Satan gripped your wrist so tightly that you jumped. “Please,” he muttered, a hint of desperation on the edge of his voice, “Don’t stop.” Satan’s hand was trembling as he placed your hand back to where it was before. With a vague sense of curiosity, you noted that his eyes were wet.

…Well, he had asked so nicely. How could you possibly have refused? You were certain that Lucifer could handle things on his own. Besides, as a certified demon attendant, it was your responsibility to ensure the happiness of all of the brothers. You went right back to petting the side of Satan’s face, delighting in the way he melted under your fingertips.