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countrymusiclover · 1 year ago

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88 - Bloodline Deals

Part 89

Gemini Runaway

@icefrye19 @secretdreamlandmentality

Walking down the staircase I held my phone between my shoulder and my ear shrugging on my gray jacket. "Caroline, hey. I’m sorry that we just had to leave so suddenly. But my brother called asking for help.”

“Don’t apologize for that. You and Jacob have nearly gone through hell and back for each other. So if he calls you have to help him.” She responded through the phone until she put it on video showing her already growing baby bump.

Covering my mouth with my freehand I gasped grinning at her. “That’s crazy, Care. I’m happy for you though. If you ever need to rant about something. I’m your girl.”

“There is one thing that is annoying. The weird cravings and the desire to have alcohol. Since it helps with my craving for blood.” She ran a hand through her hair sighing heavily.

Throwing my head back I laughed remembering the torture during those months. “Oh my god. I hated that. Anyway don’t judge for me asking this but how are you that far along. It’s only been like two months since we came back here.”

“According to Valerie the heretic doctor. She thinks that maybe your uncle used his magic before he died to speed up the pregnancy. I’m not really sure. But enough about me.” The blonde vampire shook her head.

Walking down the last step of the staircase I noticed Hayley walking in the doorway. She hadn’t left her daughter's side for months while we tried to figure out this stuff with the Hollow. “It’s a long story but basically there’s a dead girl who wants more power than she already has. Hey Care, I have to let you go. Hayley just got here.”

“Tell her hi for me. Bye Rae.” She waved to me before I put my phone in my back pocket.

Hayley sat down at a table covered with a bunch of creamy treats that Klaus had rewarded the girls with after they saved our lives from Davina trying to kill him. “I guess apple turnover is a fruit.”

“Uh sorry that’s Nik’s treat. He literally compelled the owner to give over the entire candy shop. Anyway I’m sorry to call you here when you are concerned for Andrea. But you’re the only person Davina told more about the Hollow to.” Sitting down in a chair I pulled up I stared at her.

She brushed hair out of her face. “From what she told me it turns out that the werewolf curse was created by the Hollow. Which was surprising.”

“Dang that curse goes back that far. That makes her as strong as the Original Witch Esther.” I gasped, parting my lips. “That’s honestly something I worried about for Alina. She has her father’s temper but she isn’t always in control of it.”

The brunette wolf leaned up taking a bite out of one of the many desserts. “Have you told Klaus yet about the whole marriage thing?”

“I’m assuming Jacob finally told you about that. It was supposed to be Andrea but she’s only just now started to show her magical ability. And we won’t know if she’s half wolf until she accidentally kills someone. Regardless, we're getting off topic.” I crossed my arms over my chest leaning back in my chair.

She took another bite. “Fine, okay. She also said that my bloodline is what can kill the Hollow-“

“I knew it could be killed!” Hitting my hands on the table I interrupted her. “Sorry, sorry, continue.”

The crescent werewolf nodded. “Yeah so…I am the last of my line so if I die then the Hollow will come after my daughter. Even though she already is considering it, she can probably feel the magic running through her blood. I just don’t know what to do about it.”

“Wait a second. Davina is the link to the ancestors' magic. Maybe we can talk to them about how to stop her.” Resting my elbows on the table I leaned towards her.

Hayley finished her dessert by wiping her hands on her jeans. “We could try but I doubt they’ll be willing to help your daughters who they tried to kill as infants.”

“That may be true, but they didn’t harm your daughter. So if you asked they could be open to the right proposal.” Placing my hand over hers she lifted her gaze to meet mine.

She nodded silently for a moment. “Thank you for helping me, Raelyn. You know I came here looking for my family when I was alone. But I don’t feel alone anymore.”

“You don’t have to feel alone ever again. Cause the thing with this family is that they always look out for one another.” Squeezing her hands, we heard angry footsteps vamp down the stairs.

“Raelyn, why is that old wolf woman blowing up your phone!” Whipping my head around I threw my hair that was in a ponytail around seeing my husband in a mood.

Hayley removed her hands from mine exiting the compound. “I’m going to go. Call me later, Raelyn.”

Once I could hear her footsteps were further off in the distance I slowly stepped towards him. “Nik, before you get angry like you most likely will. Just keep in mind that I didn’t have a choice.”

“What does she want?” His tone grew deeper within seconds.

Putting my hands together over my mouth I sighed heavily thinking. “In order to bring you and your siblings back together we had to make a deal with Mary. She had the last known location of the werewolf that we needed blood from-“

“Raelyn, what was the deal you made!” He stepped closer where our chests were pressed up against one another.

Meeting his gaze I saw the golden color breaking through showing he was going to snap once I told him. “Klaus, just calm down - uh”

“Just tell me, Raelyn!” He grabbed me by my shoulders where I sucked in a breath sharply.

Sniffing through tears under his strong werewolf grip I pushed him backwards, blurting it out. “She wants Alina to marry her son Jackson and bring the werewolf packs together. It was supposed to be Andrea but she just started showing that she has magic.”

“You sealed our daughter's fate to a bayou wolf. Did you ever consider that this boy might not be up to our standards!” Klaus raised his voice shouting through the house.

Vamping up into his face I growled. “I did what I had to do to get you back, Niklaus! I couldn’t bear another year without you. It was utter torture!”

“You want to talk about torture, Rae!” He shouted in my face, flashing his fangs and golden eyes down at me. Yet he turned his back to me wiping away tears with his arm. “The water in the pipes was like nails on a chalkboard. I was starving. I could smell the blood from the people on the street above me, I could hear their heartbeats. My own mind turned against me. It was taunting me. It was relentless. The first few weeks were the worst.”

Slowly walking towards him I put a hand on his shoulder hoping he was calmer now. “Nik, I’m sorry. I just didn’t see another way. Besides Alina and Jackson have been friends for a little while. It’s not planning to happen until they are older. Please just say something.”

“I’m going to kill that werewolf mother Mary.” He started to head towards the door.

Raising my hand into a fist I stopped him in his tracks. “Immobilus.”

“Uh Rae. Could you please stop using magic as a cheat.” He grumbled under his breath.

Rounding him until we were standing face to face again I still held my hand up in the air. His eyes returned to their normal baby blues. “Are you going to behave and not kill her? Otherwise I will leave you here until I get back.”

“I’ll behave, love.” He mumbles softly.

Waving my hand I released the spell off of him spinning on my heels heading to the middle of the bayou. “Regelo. Let’s go, Nik.” The walk there was pretty silent until we walked up onto her front porch. Seeing the elder werewolf preparing for dinner in her kitchen.

“What do you want?” Mary stopped cutting her tomatoes seeing my husband and I standing in the doorway.

My husband put his hands on the side of the door smiling at her. “Well we could start with some common courtesy. You could invite me and my wife here inside.”

“Not likely, vampire.” She snapped at him.

He raised his head, smirking at her. “I’m a hybrid dear. And so is my darling wife here. I am half wolf. We could be distant relatives for all you know.”

“Mary, please invite us inside. You called about our deal and I am here to discuss it with you.” I stepped in front of my husband giving her a small pout.

She sat her knife down on the countertop turning to face us head on. “Fine. Come in.”

Klaus gestured with his hand for me to go first with a smile. I nodded, stepping over the threshold and he followed afterwards shutting the door behind us with his foot. “See that wasn’t too hard to be neighborly.”

“Nik.” I sent him a glare when Mary made a disgruntled look towards his remark.

Mary headed into her tiny living room and we followed after her. She sat down in one of the recliner chairs with us on the couch. “So you’re okay with all this, hybrid?”

“Oh no. On the contrary I’d rather rip out your vocal cords for trying to wed my daughter to your wolf bayou son.” Klaus rested one hand on the side of the couch snarky.

I kicked my husband in the leg where he groaned, biting his lip. “What did I say back at the house!” I whispered under my breath at him with a deep glare.

“Oh come on.” He rolled his eyes.

Clasping my hands together I focused on the older werewolf. “Sorry about him, Mary. He’s a bit overprotective when it comes to our daughters. Given the circumstances you’ve seen with us I think you can understand why.”

“Yes. I’ve heard your story. The original hybrid and his heretic girl. I’m shocked there ain’t more tales of blood between the two of you combined.” She responded back.

Klaus leaned down resting his elbows on his knees. “Tell me Mary. If you despise our kind so much why even consider switching from her brother's daughter to ours hmm?”

“Klaus.” I scolded him.

Mary held up a hand. “Don’t worry about him asking questions, Raelyn. He has a right to ask questions. But it doesn't mean he will like the answer. The reason I agreed to the switch is because I have been watching Alina and my son together. They’re happy and I don’t want to break that up. I’ll accept that she has your vampire blood in her as long as you don’t do anything to break up their marriage.”

“We will do our best, Mary. Thank you.” I smiled towards the werewolf leader.

My husband sat upright grasping my hand while holding our hands on his thigh. “I’m curious at what age do you wish for them to have this wedding ceremony. You do recall my daughter is only the age of nine and Jackson is ten.”

“When they are adults preferably. Now it is about dinner time so I am going to ask you to leave.” She rose to her feet heading towards the front door, opening it for us.

Walking out the door I dragged my husband out of the house before he could cause trouble. “Thank you, Mary. Invidia.”

“What the bloody hell was that for. I behaved myself with no violence.” Raising my freehand Klaus winced holding the side of his head.

Lowering my hand I sent him a half smile squeezing his hand in mine as we walked back to the compound and through the woods. “Threats still count as not behaving. I know you’re worried. I am too. But if they’re happy that’s all that matters.”

“Fine, fine. I just want her to be safe and happy. Just like you are.” He leans forward giving me a kiss on the forehead making me smile.

Comments really appreciated ❤️

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gascon-en-exil · 2 years ago

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If I understand Intys gave us another romance option that is not incest but vaguely looks like it is ?? oh shoot. And the FE fandom still don't know how parallel universe works and that the Sombron are different people, right ?

A collection of anon perspectives, presented without commentary.

I am no expert in multiverse but the DLC is a no win situation if we consider that Sombron is the same as another Sombron as it would mean Alear can marry people they killed... oh no it's Awakening all over again

Alright, If I understand the whole family situation is a more elaborated scenario of "even if you marry Lucina, Morgan is not Chrom's grand daughter" but it's canon and it involves doubts on being siblings ? ok. Time to move out to a quiet place.

"My point is not that there isn't a non-incestuous explanation, because regardless of any ambiguity that would be covered by the playable Alear and Nel being from different dimensions." yes you forgot to add the fact that each time someone use that said explanation, they are regarded as a degenarate for genuinely liking the shipping while being freaked out by incest even fictional and not wanting to embrace it so using the deniable argument * cries in Leocorrin offender*. But hey if the game say it is, it means it's canon therfore... i am siding with the game sorry fans.

I think I will stand to my reading of "Alear is by no strech of the imagination related to the twins" but not because of shipping, but because it would give me a headache if the game began to treat them as such.

"Pointing out that fictional characters aren't real never leads to anything". so we are doomed aren't we ? we are doomed because people loves to take suspension of disbelief too far ?

That might not be that much of a problem after all, we all know that the vocal minority of anti is thankfully deprived of making the morality complaints more vocal. Thankfully because we are talking about a damn video game. Geez, just wait till they discover about mythologia

I feel like the localization team completely bought the father counterpart excuse because Nel keeps saying "I love you" without it being toned down or stuff.

My God, there is so many way to make those ships ok with the power of headcanon and fanfiction. You can ship them with the Alear of their dimension, rewrite their background, heck literaly anyhting you want. Just to give an example, some people who shipped Robin/2nd gen made their Avatar being a 2ndgen too <ith the power of fanfiction. Just do that and no more war.

Me : * looks at the twins*

Me : Au exist for a reason.

Alright if I understand correctly, Alear and the twins are both children of Sombron but it's different Sombron ?? What is it like how Lucina is the daughter of Chrom but not the one we play with in Awakening but a dead version of Chrom and Chrom's daughter is still a baby ?

The game does work on me personally. Like if you ship Alear/Veyle, Alear/Lumera, Alear/Sombron and Nel/Rafal, you do you but I am feeling sick imagining me doing this while I am perfectly fine with Nel/Alear and Rafalear....I dunno, those seems just a bit weird due to the story while Alear/Veyle seems just downright gross and immoral to me (but if you like it don't worry, I don't view any fans of this ship as a creep just dont like it at all)

There is this serie called Malcom in the Middle where at some point the main character makes up a list of all of his schoolmates dirty secrets and read those info loudly in public to make them stop mocking and bullying his brother, and it did work. Maybe we could do the same with the FE ships to have some peace and make the anti realized that moral shipping doesn't exist. (and why is it even necessary in the first place ?)

This whole thing is going to become a witch hunt where players who do play the game and accept to suspend their disbelief will get accused as if it was a crime to ship Alear with the twins for simply explaining that in canon they are not related, the same way players had to face rage for explaining that Anna and Jean's S support was intented for the youngest player demographic and not the adult playing engage... because if i put my head into the devellopers shoes obviously no reasonable adult would assume they put kid here to be for adult rather than others kids because guess what ? teenagers are generally attracted to teenagers !! crazy right ? just like the whole excuse for Alear and the twins to not make them siblings because people are rarely interesed into incest ! Who would have though that ?

"I can't imagine being that uncomfortable with IS being as carelessly tasteless as they always are while still playing these games."

why are you so right ? like ? come on the ship are most of the time weird but last time I cheked weird doesnt equal to immoral or unethical. There really is no need to be THAT upset about things. moreover i like it when game make things being messed up in a way that makes me laugh (* kof, kof Avatar/2nd gen and the Alear/twins*). I'd say the moment I would be creeped out is if there is Valter x Eirikia or stuff like that but I can only avoid those and I can see a fanart of it without fainting. My good Lord

"You know that there will be people adding Alear/Nel and Alear/Rafal to their lists of pairings you're not allowed to ship, alongside all those I mentioned earlier as well as any Avatar/2nd gen, Azurrin, Dimigard, Byleth/their students, and all of the eyebrow-raising Pact Ring options in base Engage"

How about the make it their "I am not allowed to ship" rather than making it every one's problem ? I don't even like those ships, I just find it stupid to fight over the fictional relationship of make believe characters.

FE fandoms crybabies : "NNOOO!! You can't marry Nel and Rafal they ArE TecHniCALly yoUR sIbLiNgS"

Meanwhile the game : Nel to Veyle " My Sombron is not your "papa". And Rafal has been my only sibling for a long time"

Nel to Alear "That said, though we are not family, we share a heritage"

Rafal to Alear " if you had been born one of my siblings, your disposition would have led you to a quick death"

Nel to Sombron (yes they have a special dialogue) "I am the daughter of another Sombron, in another world. If you know my face, then you merely recall a child who is dead"

Rafal to Sombron " I am a fell dragon from another world. Our relation is theoritical at best".

Sombron to Rafal " Surely you are not my child. No more of them remain"

(The fe wiki including Nil, Nel and Rafal to the list of Sombron's kids while in both Nel and Rafal's relative list, Veyle and Alear are nowhere to be found)

I dunno about you but at this rate it feels more like they deny it for the sake of wordlbuilding rather than to appease the fans

That's funny how Sombron in game have kids normal way while alternate Sombron has kids only by pair of twins. No matter the universe, the Sombron are rabbits.

According to the FE wiki pages for the fell kids, they are Sombron child but they don't count as sibling to Alear because the admins themselves don't know how to call their relationship.

Alright so the whole DLC is a what if scenario about what if Alear was a divine dragon from the start right ? then why do we have the alternate gender thing ? I am starting to wonder if it's not just another "alternate dimension" thing

#Fire Emblem #FE17 #Fire Emblem Engage

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bmaxwell · 11 months ago

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Alan Wake II

2010's Alan Wake would be high in the running for my most disappointing game ever. The open world tale of a frustrated writer whose stories start bleeding into reality released five years after it was announced (considered a VERY long development period at the time). The setup, vibes, and look of the game landed for me, but the gameplay killed it. It felt like the devs kept throwing combat encounters at me so I wouldn't get bored. I came back to the game several times over the years and bounced off each time.

This process was repeated with Remedy's 2019 release Control. Fascinating fiction, writing, style, and world building with rotten combat and an obtuse map. So any sane person would not fall for it yet again with Alan Wake II. Certainly not as a full price release. Thankfully this time it was different.

Well, different enough.

The way Remedy designs action and traversal in their games just fundamentally does not mesh with me. It's the inverse of the old Blizzard secret sauce. I don't think they are Bad at it since I'm in a minority with that opinion, but as much as I am drawn into the world, the part where I am pressing buttons often yanks me back out. Thankfully Alan Wake II is heavy on the story and aesthetics and lighter on the action.

Remedy's worldbuilding is second to none. I immediately fell in love with the cast and the "every person in this town is just a little bit off" presentation. Saga Anderson and her partner Max Payne Sam Lake Alex Casey as FBI agents investigating a disappearance in this fucked up little Twin Peaks town is just what my wife and I needed for a few weeks in November.

The game opens on a grizzly murder in the woods followed by a weird interaction in the local diner and it just spirals out from there. There's a cult of people in deer masks, dead naked dudes walking out of Cauldron Lake, a defunct coffee-themed amusement park, and the Koskela Brothers with their wonderful commercials. And good old Ahti. It's a rich tapestry of weirdness and I love it.

Like with 2019's excellent 13 Sentinels, early on I decided to just go along for the ride wherever the writers wanted to take me rather than try to hyper analyze it all. Alan Wake is trapped in the lake and he has to write himself out but there's a bad version of him named Mr Scratch who is already out causing trouble and wait now the real Alan is out too? Also Alan made his fame writing a fictional detective named Alex Casey and one of the agents investigating him is also named Alex Casey? And Thomas Zane and Barbara Jagger and and and...

Alan has written Saga Anderson into his story as the hero in an attempt to free himself from the Dark Place* and in the process has endangered her and those close to her. Maybe? Everything that happens has to be filtered through your "This might not be real" filter. Eventually Alan escapes the Dark Place and the game has you switch between playing as Alan and Saga in an attempt to unravel all the strange happenings in the town of Bright Falls.

Along your journey you will encounter a murderer's row of memorable weirdoes:

Saga's FBI partner Alex Casey. Alex Casey is also the name of the protagonist in Alan Wake's bestselling series of books. Total coincidence.

Rose. She works in the Oh Deer! diner in town. The first time you meet her, she addresses you by name as if she's known you for years and gives her condolences for the passing of your daughter last year. The one you just talked to on the phone.

Jaarko and Illmo Koskela. These guys run a wildlife tour in the area as well as the Coffee World amusement park. Their live action commercials are a highlight of the game.

Tor and Odin Anderson. These two old guys live in the local retirement home, but they used to be in a band called The Old Gods of Asgard.

Thomas Zane. He apparently disappeared into the lake decades ago much like Alan. He made a short little arthouse film that I watched in the game.

Ahti. The cryptic janitor from Control appears in this game as well. I love him.

Warlin Door. He's the late-night talk show host frequently interviewing a confused Alan Wake. He's definitely a key player in the story and I still am not 100% sure how.

The confidence they show in wedging live action sequences and frequent references to their past work into their video game is the work of a development team at the height of its power. Two musical numbers stand out in the game: "Herald of Darkness" which everyone knows and was performed live at the 2023 game awards, and "Dark Ocean Summoning" which was less acclaimed but awfully damn cool.

A lot of the videogame-y parts didn't land for me. I didn't enjoy the combat, I found much of the Alan gameplay tedious, and the Mind Place / Storyboard elements are better on paper than in practice. No matter, the game's highs are so high, and the things it gets right work so well that I can overlook its shortcomings. I'll take ambitious and flawed over safe and rote any day.

youtube

I'm invested in this story and this world now. I'm onboard for the ongoing mysteries surrounding Saga's origins and her daughter, Alan's madness and Alice's...well, Alice's whole deal. Alan Wake 3, the inevitable Alan Wake 2 DLC, Control 2...I'm in for whatever's next.

*Alan is not an especially strong writer.

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dzpenumbra · 2 years ago

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3/31/23

Spring has started. I can tell. I can feel myself changing, like a flower blooming. Emotionally, I guess... personality-wise. I think getting outside and socializing helped a lot too. But I legit am feeling myself grow more optimistic and confident. Despite lots of stress. Despite extreme isolation. Despite the same limiting anxieties.

Today was very different. I had a really good dream. But, very vivid. My dreams have been insanely vivid lately. This one was really nice. There was a woman in it. Fuck it, I'll just share what I remember. It's a little embarrassing because of like... how far I've strayed from the confident person I used to be... but it's a good representation of like... the juxtaposition of who I currently am and who I used to be/aspire to become again.

I was out at dinner at a restaurant. I remembered it was too late to order delivery (past 9, it's rare for me to remember numbers from dreams, so that was how vivid this was), so I said fuck it and went out to a local restaurant that I found on an app. I remember it had some like... kinda fancy gastropub-like name, so I was like... "oh, my brother and his wife would probably like this place", they're both foodies... but the restaurant had (Applebee's) in parentheses after it. That sealed the deal for me! XD

When I was out at dinner, I was there with a young girl. She was probably about... 8? I would guess... I'm not very good at guessing, I'm a childless guy in my mid-30's who only has a less-than-1-year-old nephew, I'm not really well-versed in the skill of guessing children's ages. This girl was someone I was there to babysit, I was in the guardian role, I'm guessing she was a symbol of my god-daughter or a daughter figure, or an analog of my nephew in the future or something. In past dreams of mine, children under my care have typically taken the form of female so often that I'd honestly be surprised if my first child was male.

So I'm out to dinner with this girl and the waitress comes over and takes our drink order... and I get anxious for some reason, pressure I guess? I hadn't looked at the menu. I skimmed the menu and picked out a Shirley Temple, and the waitress kinda side-eyed me and went... "are you sure? That's kind of a kid's drink..." And I... dude, I fucking backpedaled. I was like... "oh... yeah... well, in that case, I guess I'll have a Sprite, that's fine." And as the waitress was walking off to take the order, a woman at a table nearby flagged her down.

She was an attractive blonde around my age, she was with her daughter, who was around the age of the kid I was taking care of. She said some conditions to the waitress that I didn't catch or don't remember, but it was something like... "if _____ happens, you need to bring him that kid's drink." Like... intentionally, lovingly, prankishly putting me in an awkward position so I would have to fucking "yes, and" my way through that shit. Like I used to. Like I haven't fucking done in ages.

I used to jump at the chance to make an ass out of myself! Okay... here's a few tangential stories, for my own sake, to remember the good times, the person I was and still am deep inside. I went to a metal concert with my brother and two friends. This was ironically the one where I got kicked in the shin with steel toed boots. I had so much adrenaline pumping through my system, I really didn't think it was that bad at all. I bought a pair of booty shorts from the merch booth for myself, as a stupid goofy outfit. I had tons of weird goofy clothes to wear to kinda... subvert peoples' expectations and make an ass out of myself to lighten the mood and lift spirits. Like a Jackass kinda thing. So at the end of the show, it was like... I guess... maybe very early summer, so... still pretty cold at night. And after the show, I was in the parking lot in skate shoes, black booty shorts that said "Yo Ho" on the butt, no shirt and sunglasses, chainsmoking with a lighter tucked into the front of my pants. Why? Because it's fucking funny, no one dresses like that! It's out of place! Idk I thought it was funny, like an Eric Andre or Tim and Eric or Jackass kinda thing.

Another memory that keeps coming back was the second year I got to play with one of my bands on stage. We had a band that was called ShugaLoaf, a completely improvised rock/metal jam band. My brother was part of the band, we had 3 guitarists, a bassist and a drummer, but we rotated instruments a bit, so I would rotate between guitar and drums, T-Humps would rotate between guitar and drums, shit like that. And I played that gig with... silver spandex hot pants, barefoot, a T-shirt with a sliced loaf of bread drawn on it and cut in half so it was like a crop top, a green clip-on bow tie, gold glitter painted fingernails and a fucking whole-head rubber wizard mask. It was so much fun. I don't even care if we were any good, honestly. I don't care if those like 40 people watching us enjoyed us, or if we were just complete crap. I loved just acting goofy and being weird and having fun. It's like that feeling you get at a Halloween party, you know? And you can get that feeling any time you want, if you want. It's just... less "socially acceptable" to do it outside of certain environments, so it helps to have supportive friends, or to just not give a fuck what people think. I tended to fall more in the latter camp, and... that changed quite a bit over the years. Especially after dating someone who never went along with my "yes, and's".

So... in the dream... this woman who I had never met before had overheard my anxious fumbling situation, and my neurotic "oh man, what are people going to think of me if I'm seen ordering that drink, oh mercy me..." bullshit. And she added in some game conditions where I would, somewhat by chance, be put in that situation and have to figure it out. And it was so... fucking... relieving. It was like a weight lifted. I could see how silly it was. And I knew so fucking well that someone like her was exactly what I need in my life to rejuvenate that part of me. And I know she lives inside of me, which is really cool, and I can tap into that whenever I want. But... god, it'd be so much cooler if I met someone like her... XD Right? A guy can hope.

The dream time-jumped a bit, she came over to the table, it turned out that her daughter was in the same class as the girl I was caring for, they were friends. It was a nice connection, we hit it off.

Later in the dream, the chick was skating down a sidewalk that goes down a big hill, this was on a college campus... most of the dream took place on a college campus for whatever reason... and the sidewalk just like... suddenly dropped like a curb right where the hill went to flat, and then continued normally after the curb drop. And she was coming down the hill and did that thing that I did skating the other day, that people who are not as experienced or comfortable on their board do, where they kinda jump off their board and run away in a different direction. Because she saw the curb and didn't want to eat shit on it, it spooked her. And I went over to her and she was upset about how like... "god, how could they put this here, that's so dumb, it totally ruins it", and I was kinda like "yeah, I think that's kinda the point! It stops people from bombing the hill". But I saw a golden opportunity to teach her how to comfortably drop down curbs, and help her with that; instead of being upset, to see the fun in it and the opportunity to learn a new trick, and... I woke up.

And... I couldn't get back to sleep. I could barely even journal it. Because this was after only 4 hours of sleep. And my brain is just a chaotic fuzzy mess at that point. I'm basically sloppy drunk at that stage, especially with several days of sleep deprivation added to the pile. So, I dream-journaled it, which is why I remember so much of it. And then I went downstairs and got a snack and passed out in the comfy chair again. Not sure why passing out down here works better than just passing out in my bed, but... hey... if it ain't broke, don't fix it, right?

I woke up the second time at 2PM. Right when I needed to be up for a shower before my doctor's appointment. All went as scheduled, I got to the appointment, the dude was really nice. But he did hold eye contact a lot. Which, at a core level, I appreciated... but in my experience of the moment was super overwhelming. To go from very rare social interactions, like... barely making eye contact with strangers in the hallway... to full-on holding eye contact alone in a room with a stranger, where they are wearing a mask covering half their face, and they're between you and the door. I mean... it's fucking intense, especially for someone with doctor-related trauma. I don't feel... threatened by it. It's just... intimate and overwhelming. Overwhelming, that's the best way to put it. It's like someone just like... injected a whole energy drink into my veins all at once or something. And this went on for... nearly 45 minutes. Dude, I was absolutely blown away that the doctor made so much time for me. I was completely expecting a 15 minute one-and-done appointment. And this dude actually made time for me, and addressed my recurring infection thing, that he thinks is a result of me shaving my head... interestingly enough... Like shaving my head is cutting my scalp, and then the bacteria are just... setting up shop in there and the infection is secondary. So... instead of bombarding it with antibiotics, which did not work, we're going to try to reduce the inflammation to make it less painful, and try a different self-care regimen. Either I'm going to keep my hair at a low buzz instead of basically stubble... or... I might grow it out. It might actually be time to go back to like... ponytail-long hair. It's been ages. But hey, if that will make these fucking nasty pimple-like things that hurt like fuck go away, I'm in. Speaking of, the doc actually took a sample from one of them too just to figure out what was going on with it, but had to like... pop one... and I'm just going to tell you right now. If you are ever offered the wonderful opportunity to have an infection on the back of your scalp popped... don't miss out on that gem of an experience. Absolutely wonderful sensation. Think those headaches you can get right where the occipital bone meets the back/neck muscles, plus... intense swelling pressure, and then kind of a feeling like getting tattooed, followed by stinging.

So yeah, it was good to have a pleasant doctor's experience (minus the little bit of pain). He seemed genuinely interested in my story and not rushed for time, which I expressed appreciation for very openly. I had my therapy appointment after, which went very well also. We're very buddy-buddy now, which is nice. We felt very on-the-same-page today. And I explained a lot about the anxiety shit... the big amorphous wall of anxiety, and how him reminding me the connection to the polyvagal system has been really helpful for me. I made the connection that like... well, he reminded me that I was raised with pretty poor expectations of relationships, because of my family. And I elaborated that, in addition to this, I had crap luck with friends, too. And romantic partners. And maybe I just didn't know any better? I didn't know that better was a real thing and that walking away in those situations was actually like... a good thing? I just got bad d20 rolls, you know? Meet a person, happens to be a fentanyl dealer.

And he brought into the conversation this time that I... see the best in everyone. EVERYONE. Like, I could see the best in a fucking Great White Shark that was eating my leg. Or a black hole that I was being sucked into. And we went back and forth on that, how frustrating that one of my best qualities, that has been a quality of mine since I was born, something very deeply rooted in my personality, has led me to where I am now. Because people have taken advantage of it. And used me. And abused me. And drained me dry. And left me bleeding on the side of the road. And ran. And screamed and blamed and pushed me away. You name it. And I took it all, and forgave it all. Because I see the light in all of us. I see us all as being redeemable. And there are many many many many many many many many many many many times that I wish I didn't. That I wish I could just turn that off.

And that's where the paradox comes out. If I see the light in everyone... why am I walking around expecting the darkness in everyone to strike me? Why am I skating and expecting someone to pull a gun on me? Or pull a knife when I'm walking to the medical center and try to steal my AirPods? Or have a cop pull me over and give me a ticket for skating in the sidewalk? Or have some cranky asshole yell at me because the clacking of my wheels on the sidewalk was "too loud". If I see the best in everyone, if I can forgive the Devil himself, why am I expecting the worst to happen all the time? It still confuses me. It hasn't always been this way.

And I explained to my therapist that I think that is the trauma component. That was because for years... since about... oh crap... I was gonna say the whole pandemic, but it was the summer before that too... and with my last relationship... at least a lot of it... so... let's be generous and say... since about 2017? Since around when I moved into my old house, the one on the pond? That's when the shit hit the fan. That's when I people really close to me... were regularly, very regularly, gaslighting and projecting and blaming me for their insecurities and unmanaged emotions and shit. It started with my ex. Then it was my parents. Then it was my little brother. Then it was 2 of my former best friends. Then my only other friend at the time. Then I looked around, and there was no one left. It was like when I finally pulled the Jenga block of my ex out of my life... in time, the rest of the tower just collapsed.

And, I shit you not, the catalyst for this was... me reconnecting with myself, rediscovering my confidence, rediscovering my creativity and inspiration, and cultivating motivation myself and diving head-first into creating my new life. A life that's about... 4 years old now. Happy birthday, New Me. :) Past Me would be scared shitless to share all this on the internet with random strangers, but New Me knows that life is too precious and fleeting to be scared of peoples' superficial judgement. At least... he tries to remember that... as much as he can... But man, people can be really fucking loud and nosy with their judgement, huh? People just really don't know when to keep their opinions to their selves anymore, do they? Thanks, Twitter.

So... I was kinda summing up for him that I think what I'm having is just sort of a... generalized trauma response to... being around figures that have more power than me? Because of being regularly yelled at and blamed by people very close to me, regularly, like several times a week, every week, for years. And having that be the only social interaction I had. It's like... you put a dog in a closet and smack it on the nose every time I tries to come out... it's gonna wince every time it comes out of the closet. Right? So... slow and steady... I'm just chipping away at the anxiety reflexes by building up my library of experiences, so it's not 95% of the time bad things happen when you interact with authority figures... it's like... 75%. Then 50%. Then eventually 20%... and so on. Like with my doctors. I definitely have a bit of medical trauma. A lot, actually. So... I was in the doctor's office all hunched over and shoulders up and had to be really deliberate to make eye contact. I think I was visibly not good. But the nurse was super chill and helped break the ice, and the doctor seemed very understanding and patient, and didn't seem to judge me the way I was expecting. So... my doctor percentage right now is like... 80% bad and 20% good. Which is much better than like "I shouldn't even bother setting up an appointment, they're just going to accuse me of drug seeking and kick me out." Much better.

So yeah, I got chinese food and watched an RP stream and that was basically it. Did some runs in the desire path project that I'm still super insecure about because I just don't think anyone will fucking get it... but yeah, since that's the case... here. Fuck it. I'll export the current progress and put it here. In case anyone read this far down.

That's 80 trips now. Looks pretty cool, right? It keeps giving me lightning vibes. I'm going to 100 runs, then I'm going to either start a new one... or... the idea that popped in my head today was... If I pop this into Blender and use the grease pencil, trace all these paths one by one, I can actually... animate this. I was thinking it might make more sense and be more accessible for today's audience to make a video for this kind of piece. That tells the concept, explains the parallels that I'm exploring (development of habits, learning, synaptic connection), shows bits of the process and then displays this final product in a form that's a bit more dynamic. I mean, this is very striking for me, because I know what it means, I know the scale. That circle shrine at the top has a 17m diameter, for scale. And I've seen the development of the really thick lines where the path has been steadily growing, to the point where there's nearly a solid line all the way throughout that formed completely unintentionally, it was just a byproduct of intuitive pathfinding as I was building a routine. So yeah, I'm putting a lot of thought into storyboarding and scripting a video for this and then putting it on Instagram and YouTube. I think it'll be good.

So yeah. Unfortunately, it got late again. But I have nothing to do tomorrow so... I might take a small dose of tincture tonight and try to just catch up on sleep as much as I can. It's very overdue.

Oh... and I have to finish my hoodie still... Hmm... Soon, soon... XD

#diary #journal #online journal #stream of consciousness #stream of thoughts

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nosuchthingasagruffalo · 2 years ago

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chapter 8

Charlotte had settled into her role on The Essex, she reported to the Chief Tactical Officer and had been able to attend trade talks with the people of the Q'nar sector. She still felt nervous when speaking to Captain Abioye and had promised heself she would speak up in the next meeting. She had a full day off and was just settling down with her latest must read - 'Multiphasic Shield Harmonics' when she saw a message flash on her Padd summoning her to the holodeck.

Seven of Nine had set up a programme running a simulation of her Aunt's lake house in Denmark, she hadn't stayed true to geography and had programmed the Copenhagen waterfront to be a ten kilometre hike away and she enjoyed sitting in her favourite restaurant with a cold beer after the long hike. She was so lost in thought she didn't notice the young woman stood in front of her, "Commander you summoned me?".

"It's ok Lottie, we're off duty now. Don't be so stiff, sit, woukd you like a lemonade?" Seven studied the Ensign before her. It occured to her how strange it was that humans take 18 whole years to reach maturity yet the past 21 years of watching the pudgy baby transform into an independent, challenging woman in what seemed to be the blink of an eye. "I'll get straight to the point seeing as small talk seems perfunctury given our relationship. I'm worried about you, you're putting far too much pressure on yourself, you're working too long past your ships and with your brother still missing I'm concerned for your mental wellbeing. I will put you on medical leave should the situation require it". She watched the blue eyes before her cloud into a grey storm "I can't let that happen to you, I've watched you grow up from day 1, hell I've grown and learned alongside you, so you see, I'm not just a concerned commander, this is personal"

Charlotte fought back the tears threatening to fall "oh Aunty Seven, I'm sorry, I just feel like I can't concentrate and then my work is sub par. This is supposed to be everything I've wanted and I just feel so flat, everytime I start to feel happy I remember Amal is still out there"

Seven placed her hand over Charlotte's "I know how you feel, when Icheb died I felt real loss for the first time and it scared me, having feelings I couldn't control, me of all people!" She smiled. "You know you're not just a god-daughter to me, you're my sister, in those early days back on earth when I couldn't face the reality of my Aunt and cousins, When Kathryn let me stay with her as long as I needed, the camp bed in your nursery. And you crying allllll night, I still maintain Borg children are much less terrifying. I remember when I took you to the funfair and you broke your arm climbing the helter skelter, I was terrified to bring you home, not just for your mother's reaction but because I had allowed pain to come to the thing that is most precious to me"

Charlotte smiled "I do remember that camp bed coming out a lot of times over the years, making you scare me with stories of dangerous alien races. I'm glad we shared that. Wasn't it ever a bit weird though? You know you and Dad?"

Seven had to surpress a laugh, "not at all, once we were back on earth I realised I respected and admired your father but didn't want to continue our dates. It did take me a while to realise the main reason that I didn't want to continue our dates was that he was entirely the wrong sex. I wish I had figured that out a little sooner" she smiled. "I often wonder what life was like for the other me, was I happy with your Dad? Probably, was I fulfilled? Probably not, I imagine it remained entirely platonic, bound together by the pain your mother had inadvertently caused us and then by the trauma of your loss. Your Mom used to be a lot less burdened you know."

charlotte sighed "I'm starting to see a little of it now. Dad said I should contact my Animal Guide but more and more I find myself in prayer. It's stupid right? I'm a scientist, our family barely observes the traditional holidays, logically it's nothing more than meditation but I keep coming back to it. Can you believe it, talking to a God who doesn't exist? Pretty irrelevant huh?"

Seven leaned closer to Charlotte "the Borg find religion a futile attempt by inferior beings to understand their own small singular existence... but they feel the same way about love too"

Before Charlotte could respond the holodeck timer went off. "Our time has ended. See you on the gamma shift Ensign".

*****

After their talk Charlotte didn't see much of the Commander. She did manage to speak up some ideas to Capatin Abioye, but she couldn't read whether his stern expression conveyed annoyance or praise. At her station she went through official communiques and logged them. There were some strange messages that seemed to be mangled and she saved them to her Padd to analyse later.

Today had been a long day of back and forth with the Q'nar Trevel who were suspicious of all outside races. A large ship had materlialised out of nowhere and struck a direct hit, the ship was on red alert. Charlotte performed sweeps of the region and saw a smaller ship approaching at speed. No sooner had she alerted the Captain when two aliens beamed on board, the pilot was shot immediately and the alien lifted his weapon at the Captain. Without a hesitstion Seven threw herself in the line of fire and Charlotte tackled him to the floor, two burly security officers grabbed the alien and cuffed his hands. "Commander, are you ok?" Charlotte could see Seven bleeding.

"We must restrain the other alien" Seven shouted. The alien had pushed into the turbolift and was heading to engineering. Quickly Charlotte disabled all the turbolifts and headed for a jefferies tube to intercept him with Seven hobbling behind her.

The tubes smelled of smoke and burning gel packs as the Essex was pummelled, Seven's superior eyesight led the way and Charlotte hoped they would make it before the bleeding got worse. The panel into engineering was jammed in place and it took both women to kick it open. The alien was attaching small explosoves to the warp core. Charlotte grabbed a phaser and aimed, she had practised a lot at The Academy and knew she needed to hit the alien's hand before he set them off. As the alien lifted his arm to detonate the charges Charlotte aimed and blew it clean off, Seven checked the wounded, and opened the main doors allowing the security team to run in and apprehend the alien. She felt the impulse engines kicking in and hoped they could get far enough through the system to avoid another attack. Relief flooded her as she saw the lights change from red to yellow and she hurried to Seven to request a beam to sickbay.

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nalanzu · 2 years ago

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Weiss Kreuz Episode 12: Abschied

We ended the last episode on Omi finding and assassinating his biological brother, after said brother unrepentantly insisted that hunting humans for sport was justified if it achieved a desirable end, namely the election of their father to public office. There's been a lot of heavy drama in the last several episodes, and we're about due for a breather. We're not going to get it.

We open on Weiss in the flowershop, as Ouka is beginning to worry about Omi and all the weird shit that happens around him. Given that they were just kidnapped and shot at before the shenanigans at the party happened, one cannot blame her. The peanut gallery, AKA Yohji and Ken, think this is a security breach and also not fun to watch. Aya is uncharacteristically lenient and tells his teammates to leave them alone.

Not only is Ouka hanging around the flowershop, she's also joining Omi on deliveries. They're very cute, talking about Takatori as if he's a decent human being. Ouka invites Omi to dinner, and tells him that her father is very excited to meet him. She keeps squeezing Omi's broken ribs, which I should not be amused by, but here we are. She has a date at the movies planned. She is once again not taking a no for an answer.

Omi mutters to himself out loud that she's very pushy, as he walks back to the bike, and Schuldig gives him some shit for it. Schuldig also ostentatiously reads Omi's mind, and tells him he's a hypocrite because he's killed his brothers. Schuldig really gets under Omi's skin, by calling him a bloodthirsty murderer who isn't fit to touch Ouka and then laughing at him. Omi reacts like an adolescent, namely by threatening Schuldig with a dart. Schuldig finds this hilarious.

The rest of Weiss finds it a bit weird that Omi came home and locked himself in his room. There are comments about Young Men In Love and the conversation does not go to the dirty place it should when they're making those comments. Omi, however, is having nightmares about killing his biological relatives. Not sure why this is worse than killing anyone else, as he didn't grow up with them, but it's bothering Omi a lot.

Oh my god Ouka has an adorable poodle. She gets accosted by Schuldig while walking said dog, and recognizes him as the one who kidnapped Omi. Schuldig introduces himself as a bodyguard, and Ouka calls bullshit. Schuldig tells her Omi's original name and that Omi is actually her brother. Ouka reasonably tells him he's a liar, but Schuldig demonstrates his telepathy and tells her to ask her parents for the truth. He just likes throwing wrenches in things, doesn't he.

Ouka asks her mother about her father's hypothetical third son, and her mother responds just as Schuldig said she would by denying all knowledge of such a person. Ouka says she'll ask Takatori, and her mother caves. She pulls out an undamaged version of the picture Omi found in the burning house, in which she's holding a baby Omi, and confirms that Omi is Mamoru is Ouka's brother, and then says she was so surprised when Ouka showed up with him. Was she not going to tell her daughter that she was related to her new boyfriend? What the actual fuck.

Ouka runs off to talk to Omi, who isn't in the front of the shop, and then tells Yohji that she doesn't want to talk to him after all. Yohji decides he needs to meddle, and sends Omi chasing after Ouka. They're trying very hard to set up a tragic love affair, what with Omi falling hard for Ouka and his guilt about the fact that he has signed up to be a murderer, but the fact that they're using the secret siblings trope to do it means it isn't landing for me.

I'm also not convinced I should find it funny that Omi's worst fear is that Ouka finds out he's a member of Weiss, a group of prettyboy assassins who have been killing people for years, but that the actual truth of the matter is that they are allegedly half-siblings. There are a lot of things I keep finding funny that I think are supposed to be poignant or dramatic or tragic, though it's not limited to this show. I'm fairly sure the writers are aiming for a sense of noble tragedy here. I'm also fairly sure they've missed.

In any case, Omi has gone to talk to Persia about his love life. He wants to know why Persia hid his past and why he was sent to kill his brothers. Persia tells him that Takatori has been using the position he already has to enact control over Japan with the help of a secret organization, Estset. There are apparently MANY secret organizations in his version of Japan. (Were the 90s the decade of conspiracy theories? Or was it just Weiss Kreuz and X-Files?) Persia opines that Takatori forced his sons to help him, and tells Omi that even though it's difficult, sometimes you just have to kill people you're related to for the greater good.

Omi pulls the absolute most teenage line anyone has ever pulled and shouts that Persia doesn't understand how he feels. This is also a glorious set-up for the next dramatic reveal, in which Persia's identity is finally shared with Omi and the audience. "I do understand how you feel, because I'm Takatori Reiji's younger brother."

I mean, that is definitely a great Gotcha line.

Omi rallies pretty quickly and demands to know why Persia isn't out there doing the murdering himself, then. Oh, Omi. This is how the world works. Powerful and rich men get other people to do their shit for them. Omi isn't having it, either, as Persia explains that he doesn't have the strength to to what Omi does, and Omi spits back that Persia just doesn't want the blood on his hands. He also wants to know why Takatori didn't pay the ransom for him when he was kidnapped, which, hey, that's a reasonable question that's been bothering him for several episodes now. Persia is a lying liar and says he doesn't know.

Back to Takatori's assassins, Nagi is psychically typing and researching on the internet. Schuldig, oddly, is apparently able to share his gift. He also says minds taste like honey, which is weird AF. We're not sure what they're up to at this point, but it's probably not great.

Back to Omi and the date, into the theater he goes looking for Ouka. She stares at him from behind, as Schuldig pops up behind her. Back at the flowershop, someone has sent the rest of Weiss a message that Omi is a spy and to meet them at a specific place to learn more. They wonder who could have hacked their systems, demonstrating that they have no fucking clue how email works. To be fair, they're all GenX, so it does track. (Omi, the baby Millennial, is the one who knows tech. Which also tracks.) Ken, just stop talking.

Aya decides they don't have enough time to clear the meeting with Manx. Yohji jokes that if Omi was a spy, he's doing a great job, but they're trying to reach Omi to tell him about the shenanigans before said meeting. Back at the theater, Schuldig tells Ouka about Omi's murdery other job. He exaggerates just slightly, telling her that Omi was there to kill her father. She is skeptical, as she should be. Schuldig says he'll prove it.

Because they play right into his hands, the rest of Weiss is on their way. Schuldig says Weiss is trying to assassinate Ouka. She is, of course, tied up in his back seat. He sends Omi to the meeting place that was given to Weiss.

It's foggy and dark when they all arrive. Ouka, tied to a tree, screams for help. Weiss goes to help her. Omi immediately assumes they're there to kill her. I really feel this speaks as to a fundamental lack of trust between these people; Omi was ready at the drop of a hat to threaten his teammates when he found out his biological brother was their target, and he is absolutely willing to believe right now that his teammates and friends are going to murder his girlfriend because she found out their secret. Schuldig is fanning these flames, to be fair, and there's always the possibility that he's affecting Omi's judgment.

Aya hears Schuldig, though, and goes after him. Farfarello launches himself at Ken, and Yohji drags Omi into the dubious shelter of a tinfoil umbrella when Schuldig starts shooting at him. How the gun does not end the fight immediately I have no idea, but Weiss distracts Farfarello and Schuldig while Omi goes for Ouka and gets her away from the tree. She's upset, and tells him that they're siblings. Poor Omi. Her father is Takatori Reiji, he realizes.

While Omi and Ouka fall apart, Schuldig and Farfarello keep fighting Weiss. Omi decides that he and Ouka can still love each other and ease each other's loneliness, just as siblings. And not lovers. I don't think that's how feelings work, generally, but hey. It's pretty cute. He then says they'll be together forever, sealing her death warrant as Schuldig shoots her in the back literally the second he finishes speaking. She dies dramatically in his arms after he desperately kisses her. What was that about siblings, Omi? What was it?

The requisite rain required to punctuate such a Tragic Moment begins to fall. Weiss looks hot and brooding in their assassin outfits. Omi screams, clutching the body of his sister/lover. End episode.

I know there are definitely worse things I've seen and enjoyed. This one really revels in its melodrama; there are highs and lows - mostly lows - as it tries to pulverize the hearts of its viewers into dust with how Painful And Tragic the events are for the four very pretty male protagonists. Sometimes this lands better than other times, but now that we've gotten halfway through the show, it's beginning to feel a touch repetitive.

One might make an argument for Ouka being an entry for the Women In Refrigerators column, and it's hard to dispute that she dies specifically and only to cause Omi grief and pain. With pitch-perfect comedic - I mean tragic - timing, even. The point at which she differs slightly is that we do see a little more of her as a character. She is, to be fair, entirely focused on Omi. We don't get a lot of her internal emotional journey or her motivations, although there's a glimpse of that when we hear about her growing up without a stable paternal presence in her life, but the emotional development we've seen for her is roughly on par with what we get from the show's protagonists. She does have a clearly defined personality. She's not quite a woman-shaped cutout who does nothing more than die for male angst.

On her own, Ouka is a perfectly reasonable entry in the Weiss canon of characters. Taken alongside Schreient, Asuka, Maki, and sister!Aya (Yuriko escaped to a presumably happy life in Australia, so she doesn't make this list), the women of Weiss paint a rather bleak picture of female representation. There are very few positive outcomes for women, in this show, though most of the early one-off characters involved in the case of the week ended up with dead boyfriends rather than stuffed into the fridge themselves.

As far as Omi goes, it's A Lot. The reveal that he's related to Persia who is related to Aya's nemesis is A Lot, and it's not necessarily handled badly (aside from the well-timed rain, and the well-timed gunshot, and the absolutely cringe-inducing foreshadowing) but it's not really handled well, either. All the subtlety of a ton of bricks, this show, as I am once again struck by how thoughtful many fanworks were in comparison. (I said many. Not all. Not even most. I know what this fandom was like.)

As far as vanity projects go, though, hey. I'm still having a lot of fun revisiting it.

#weiss kreuz #meta commentary #episode summary

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blueberryinko · 2 months ago

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Alice: Juicy Romance Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Dating is Hard..

Alice’s dating profile went up the day after she’d given birth. She’d given herself a few weeks of recover, but soon she found herself a match. Juicing herself, she’d gone out to get herself a few different dresses and outfits, and she’d found a lot she was happy with. She was going out on her first date with one of the men she’d matched with, helped into a cute red dress by Melissa.

“You look amazing Mom. Call if anything goes wrong, but you have fun.” Alice sniffled, hugging her daughter. “You and your brother will be alright on your own for the night? I’ll be back around eleven at the latest but-“ Melissa stopped her mother, holding her shoulders. “Mom, we’re grown up, we can do this, we’ve had sleepovers, we’re independent. Go on, go.”

Alice knew they’d be alright, approaching the door. “Don’t kill each other!” She joked, before heading out.

Keeping her phone in her purse, she caught a taxi into the city. She knew her blue skin was weird, and it naturally attracted people’s eyes to her with her condition, but she was a private person, so the stares made her uncomfortable.

She walked into a fancy restaurant, immediately feeling out of place. This place was definitely out of her price range. “Alice? I’m Harry!” The man was done up in a full tuxedo, hair slicked back and what looked like an expensive watch on his wrist. “Charmed, please, sit down.” He gestured. Alice blushed, taking her seat.

“Thank you! So, um, what attracted you to me?” She asked.

She ended up leaving upset that night. The rich douchebag had explained that, as a berrygirl she was exceptionally fertile, and that he was looking exclusively for a relationship where she was his pet to be dressed up and used as a breeder exclusively. She would have been adorned in jewelry and riches for socialites to look at and mock her with.

He had even called her exotic, asking if she’d be willing to abandon her kids so that she could give him heirs and start a new family with him. She’d wobbled her way up, about a hundred pounds heavier and slapped him. “Don’t you dare ever suggest abandoning my children! You’re an arrogant, sexist pervert and I can’t believe people like you exist!” She scolded, waddling away as her pendulous belly wobbled and sloshed.

She caught a taxi home, pumping out some excess juice before she got in, taking out her phone. “Mom?” Melissa’s voice came through the other end. Alice sniffled. “He was a douchebag.” She said. “He wanted me to abandon you to become his immobile berry cow!” She couldn’t imagine a scenario where that was ever possible, crossing her arms over her fat belly.

“Oh Mama. Come home, we have pizza from takeaway, we got you some in case it didn’t pan out.” She heard a scuffle from the other end and gasped. “Adam!” She heard Melissa’s voice. “No you can’t kill him, calm down, he’s just an ass-!” Alice suddenly realised just what it was that was happening. “Mel, hand the phone to Adam.” She ordered resolutely.

She heard Adam muttering before he spoke. “Mom, he did fucking what to you?” Alice wasn’t a fan of the swearing. “Adam, I am fine. I am unharmed, he was just a dick.” She calmed her son. “I know you’re hot-headed, I know you’re passionate baby, but you gotta remember to be objective.” She soothed. She heard Adam grumbling over the phone. “But you’re my mom.. you.. and Mel, I guess… are the only things I have.”

Alice sniffled. “I know baby, but whatever happens, I will never abandon either of you. You understand?” She couldn’t see Adam nod, but she practically felt it over the line. “Good boy. I’m just outside now, can you let me in?”

Her children let her back into the house, and as her hips wedged in the door, she sighed. She tried pushing herself through, stuck. “Oh for God’s-!” She whimpered, then RRIIIPPP!

Her dress tore from her body, and she sighed. “Great. Just great.” She muttered. Melissa and Adam helped her through, and Alice popped through, jiggling and sloshing incessantly. She flopped to the floor, laying on her gigantic belly as juice burbled and churned inside her. “That sucked.” She muttered, feeling the statement was justly apt. “I mean, always more fish in the sea, right?”

The next couple of dates were just as bad, and both a mix of men and women were equally as incompatible for her. Some of them were really nice, some of them were good people, but she just couldn’t see a future with any of them. She was getting really sick of the modern dating sphere nowadays.

The more Alice thought about it, she realised that they were just seeing the permaberry version of Alice, some heavily pornographic, swollen breeder of a blueberry woman, not Alice herself, hard working mom of two kids, top nurse and self-sufficient business woman Alice. She had several degrees for God’s sake, and all people wanted to talk about was how much juice she leaked from her tits a day!

She sat out in the backyard, fully swollen and resting on her crotch. She wasn’t pregnant again yet, and she worried it would soon be time for another berry pregnancy. It could happen at any time, and while she wasn’t opposed to the possibility, Alice’s baby fever was in full swing. She wanted new babies badly, and couldn’t understand just why she wasn’t matching with someone.

“I’m sorry, I just don’t see it.” She said, waiting for her date’s reply before she hung up the phone. She was a tall butch woman about her age who also wanted kids, but the dealbreaker was that the butch didn’t want to actually live with Alice or get into a serious relationship. While Alice could respect that, Alice wanted to be loved by someone who’d give her the big family she’d dreamed of.

She sighed, wiping her eyes. “Fuck.” She laid back on her bed, gazing up at the ceiling. “What’s it gonna take?” She muttered sadly. There was such a small amount of people that wanted to date an inflatable whale like her, and that number was decreasing faster than ever. She opened her calendar, wondering when she could fit her next date in. One date however was highlighted a bright red on her list.

‘Parent-teacher meeting, 4pm,’ She was to meet with the twins’ English teacher on Thursday, and while she knew it had to be done, having to waddle herself to their college was a pain in the ass, especially when she was as fat as she was now, and definitely worse when she was at full capacity. She thumbed at her phone idly, her limbs sloshing as she tried to get into a more comfortable position. “Well.. what could go wrong, right?” She reasoned to herself.

Thursday, 4:30pm.

Alice huffed as she waddled uphill. She was at least juiced, so it was somewhat easier for her to get up the hill, but lugging a slowly swelling beer belly was always heavy. She passed by parents and other children on their way home, getting yet more stares from the parents who didn’t already know her.

She entered the reception entrance, incredibly aware of her increasing diameter in accordance to the rather small, stuffy box. “Mrs Jameson?” The receptionist greeted her, recognising the blue skin, and from the other embarrassing ‘incident’ during the graduation ceremony. Her cheeks heated up again and Alice nodded shyly. “Mr Marks is waiting for you in his office. Down the hall, up the stairs and to the left.”

“Thank you!” She called, forcing her way through the door. Her ass had gotten thicker since her last pregnancy, making her positively pear shaped naturally, and it made her gain some rather impressive thunder thighs as well. Still, it was a struggle heaving herself up the stairs. “Oh, Mrs Jameson! Please, may I help you up?” Mr Marks stood at the top of the stairs, a rather built man in his early forties, and very handsome despite his age.

“Please? I’m so sorry, I’m just going to get bigger-“ Alice found herself apologising yet again, before being cut off. “Hey, don’t worry about it! Anything for my favourite kids’ mother!” Before he realised what he’d said, Alice gasped and her eyes watered. They were his favourites? She didn’t know if it was the hormones or the pride, but she began sobbing in earnest.

“Whoa, wait, wait, I’m sorry!” Mr Marks began to apologise before Alice waved him off. “No, no, these are happy tears, i promise, I’m just- just hormonal, postpartum is a bitch.” She explained, sniffling. Mr Marks brightened up. “Oh yeah, they told me about your berry pregnancies! Are you sure you should be here so soon after giving birth?” Alice liked his concern, but dismissed them quickly.

“Oh don’t worry, I’m fine, I’m actually all healed up!” She explained. “Birth isn’t that painful for me and I don’t tear, so there’s not much that hurts me.” Mr Marks was impressed, guiding her into the office. “Do you want to sit or would you be more comfortable doing something else? I can sit on the floor if that’s good for you? I’m just not sure-“

“Oh, I can just lay on my belly,” Alice said, flopping onto the bulging balloon that was her belly, perfectly at desk height across from him. “Well that’s alright then! So to start, Mel and Adam are great students. Their first year in my class has made them, as I said, my favourites, Melissa has a great grasp of the classics and their themes, while Adam seems to like more modern literature and other interpretations of classics gone modern.” He explained.

Alice brightened up. “Really? That makes so much sense for both of them! Back when they were in high school it was all platitudes and bullshit we could both see through, but they seem to really shine with you!” She complimented. Mr Marks laughed. “Well in a way they’re like the kids I never had!” He explained, which made Alice’s heart skip a beat. No way! She thought to herself, swallowing as she began to broach the topic.

“H-how so?” She asked gently. Mr Marks’s complexion went pink and his ears turned a rosy red. With the slight grey in his hair, it looked cute on him. “I never had kids,” he admitted. “I always wanted them but at first I was in the Army, and I was deployed all around. Girlfriends didn’t like that so I basically decided to just stay single. Then about seven years ago I got sick of the Army, and decided to get my teaching degree. And now I’m a teacher!”

Alice beamed. “That’s really cool Mr Marks! I love my kids but I had them single, as they may have told you. Um, they may not have told you this though, but, um, I’ve been venturing back into the dating world lately, and I haven’t been having much success.” She thought back to all her bad experiences. She hadn’t meant for this meeting to have gotten so off track, but her heart was racing and, dare she admit it to herself, her nethers were burning with lust.

“Oh? If I can ask, how so?” Mr Marks asked carefully. Alice sighed, regaling him with her tales. “And he wanted me to abandon Mel and Adam to be his breeding bitch, can you believe that?” She exclaimed. She was getting bigger, and she hadn’t even realised in the time she’d been talking to him. Her back was rounding out and the blouse she was wearing had busted several buttons by now, down to her last three just barely covering swollen, engorged boobs.

“No, seriously? What a prick!” Mr Marks exclaimed, Alice agreeing fervently. “Honestly, I couldn’t imagine a worse father for my next babies!” Mr Marks looked down at her belly, bright red. “You’re looking to get pregnant again?” He asked softly. Alice swallowed nervously, confirming it. “Yeah, I am.” Mr Marks slowly got up, walking around the desk to her front, sitting down on the desk. She was starting to round out now, she idly noted.

“I’m aware that this may violate several boundaries, but Mrs Jameson.. would I be able to invite you out on a date?” Alice gasped, despite having sensed what this was building up to. “O-of course, u-um, call me Alice.” She offered. She watched as his eyes lit up with happiness, beaming from ear to ear. “Then call me Warren.” They stared into each others eyes. Alice so badly wanted him to take her right there, but they were both adults, and they had restraint. Just barely.

“Not now,, but later,” Warren promised gently. “Want me to roll you out of the building? Melissa should be waiting for you about now.” Alice wanted him to very badly. She was fully round now, and totally naked in front of him. She was afraid she’d ruined the carpet in his office though. “U-um.. be gentle..” She asked softly. Warren smiled. “I will be, promise.”

He wandered round her side, and gently began to push her out of his office. It was a struggle, but eventually, one destroyed door and some moaning on her end later, she was out. He rolled her down the stairs gingerly and out of the reception area. Rolling her onto her feet, she waddled around to face him.

“Does, um, next Tuesday at Pepperoni Palace sound okay?” She invited. Warren chuckled. “Pizza? Hell yeah, I’m always down.” She bit her lip, then blew him a shy kiss, then waddled away before she could glimpse his reaction. She met up with Melissa in the parking lot, an eyebrow raising from Melinda at the silly smile plastered on Alice’s face.

“What’s gotten into you?” Melissa questioned. Alice blushed. This was a question best left for later with both her kids together. “I’ll tell you when we get home.” She promised.

Returning home with Melissa, she could barely keep the smile off of her face. Melissa unlatched the straps from Alice’s body, rolling her back into the house. “You’re leaking more than usual, what the hell?” Melissa questioned. “Are you feeling alright Mama?”

Alice purred contentedly. “I feel fine Mel, more than fine in fact.”

Adam was in the living room watching TV when Alice waddled in, followed by Melissa. “Okay guys, eyes on me for a moment?” Alice requested. “So, I had your parent-teacher meeting today, and you guys’ grades were amazing. Mr Marks was gushing about you, and apparently you’re his favourite students!” She was so proud of them, and couldn’t wait to tell them the next part.

“Oh Mr Marks is great, hell yeah!” Adam agreed. Alice flapped her hands excitedly. “And uh, we got to talking and well, he asked me out on a date!” At that, Adam and Melissa exploded with noise. “No way! Congrats Mama!” “Holy shit, really, holy fuck, why is that so weird? Why is that so cool?” Alice giggled at their reactions, Adam stuttering. “Wh- how did that even happen?”

“Oh, he told me you were like the kids he never had,” Alice murmured softly. “What I am about to say does not leave this family, but he told me that he never had kids, and you guys feel like the closest to that for him. Now usually, I would be concerned,” She continued on, making sure they remained focused. “But we talked a lot about what we wanted in a family, and if all goes well, I see a permanent relationship with your teacher and I. I don’t want to make either of you uncomfortable, so if you have any concerns please say so.”

“I mean, it’s a little weird.” Adam volunteered. “I mean, we’d have to go in every day and know that he’s.. you know.. doing stuff with you.” Alice could see how that could complicate things, thinking it through. “Look, you guys never really had a positive male figure growing up, and.. I share some of the blame for that, I feel.” She admitted guiltily. “I never had a good relationship with your grandparents, never had siblings, and most male friends I had when I was younger only wanted to fuck me, pardon my French, but… I should have at least made the effort to have some around to help give you an example to look up to.”

“That’s not your fault Mom.” Adam soothed her. “After the whole Discord thing- by the way, they have a new rule in the server now, ‘Please do not give birth in the live voice chat server,’ - but anyway yea, after that whole thing, I did some reading up on stuff.” Melissa gazed at her brother as if he’d been replaced by a stranger, mouthing ‘what the fuck?’ “Fuck you too Mel, anyway, I found some, like, feminist ladies, and a lot of the shit I’ve been per.. perpetuating? I think that’s how you say that, was really toxic bullshit, and I should have known better.”

Melissa’s eyebrows had practically disappeared into her hairline. “Sometimes I forget you can actually read, little brother-“ Alice giggled as Adam leapt at Melissa playfully. “You’re a minute older you pipsqueak-“ Yeah, they were all gonna be fine. “So uh,” Alice interrupted, a fond grin on her face as her kids turned their attention towards her, “Anything else, or are we all good on that front?”

Her kids turned to her. “Yeah, we’re all good Mama!” Melissa replied, before leaping at Adam again. Alice chuckled, waddling off to order in. “Next question, should I go juiced or big?” She asked. Melissa and Adam stopped fighting, and she saw them thinking in tandem. It was weird how they could just sync up like that, but she’d stopped thinking about that ages ago.

“Big.” Melissa and Adam decided together. “All your dates with the pigs, they treated you like shit when you were juiced, you didn’t even get the chance to be big around them, right?” Adam reasoned. “And you said Mr Marks was completely respectful with you when you were big. I think go big with him, and we’ll see if we can trust him.” Alice knew her son was smart, but being this emotionally intelligent made her proud. Sniffling, she waddled up to him, belly bumping his cheek.

“How lucky did I get with you both?” She wondered to herself, her kids converging in for a hug.

That Tuesday afternoon, Alice had forgone juicing for the day. It was a mid-day pizza parlour date, there was no need for anything fancy. She’d asked if she could get a handler from the hospital to roll her over, and thankfully her midwife had been available for the day. “I’m really happy for you Alice.” Kiera murmured to her softly, rolling Alice towards the parlour.

Alice paid no mind to the people taking photographs of her, used to it thanks to her condition. “Thanks Kiera. It’s been a long time since I dated,” She peered up at Kiera as her face came rolling around again. “What about you and Vic? How have you guys been?”

Kiera’s face flushed.”Well, you may have inspired a bit of baby fever and.. I am officially halfway into my first trimester with our fourth!” Alice gasped, cooing as Kiera patted her belly. “Oh my God Kiera, congratulations! Make sure to send me the ultrasound photos when you can, I wanna see my latest honorary nibling!” Kiera chuckled. “You be careful when rolling me upright, do not overexert yourself.” Alice cautioned gently.

Kiera took her words in stride, gently levering Alice back onto her feet. Alice was surprised the skirt she was wearing had managed to stay on, valiantly earning its keep as the sole garment she wore. “You gonna be good from here on out?” Kiera made sure Alice was alright being left on her own for now. Alice confirmed. “I have my earpiece and if you just give me my bag?”

Kiera slung the purse over Alice’s head, nestling it in her divot and securing it. “You have fun now, yeah?” Alice was excited, waddling on the spot towards the parlour. Belly-bumping open the doors, she huffed and waddled towards the counter. “Oh my- hello miss!” The woman at the doors stammered. “Do you have a reservation or is this a sit down type of visit?”

Alice’s cheeks went hot. “Um, I’m waiting on my date? Guy with the last name Marks, I don’t know if he’s here already-“

“Alice? Over here!” She saw Warren waving to her from a stall, and she beamed. He looked amazing even in just a t-shirt and jeans, and she started waddling over. “Hey! How do I look?” She asked jokingly, her breasts wobbling as they leaked milk. Warren chuckled. “Well you’re naked for one. Do you need anything?” He asked gently, prepared for her answer.

“Can you roll me onto my belly opposite you? I’d tip over but I hate the lack of control,” she admitted. Warren got up from his seat. “I’m gonna go behind you now, is that okay?” Alice had never been asked if she was okay with it before by a date. Breathing in deep, she was careful not to let him see her watering eyes. “Yes please.” She agreed. She felt his hands trail around her and felt herself rolling onto her belly.

He made sure she was settled before sitting back down. “You’re not, y’know, weirded out?” She asked. “Or like, a creep, or anything?” Warren chuckled, shaking his head. “Alice, as far as I’m concerned, you just have a strange disability. I worked with guys and gals in the military who had prosthetics and were neurodivergent, and some of my buddies lost their legs. They’re still people, and so are you.”

Alice began to sob quietly. “Th-thank you! S-so many people just saw me as fetish bait and wanted me to be some- some breeding cow!” She sniffled, Warren leaning over to dry her tears and comfort her. “I’m so sorry Alice, you didn’t deserve their behaviour. People suck sometimes, right?” Alice agreed with that sentiment very much. Once Alice was calm, they got to ordering.

“So, are you a spice girl, or more of a fun-girl?” Warren joked. Alice snorted, flapping her hands. “Wh-what?” She laughed. “Fun girl? Like, fungi but-“ Alice full on belly laughed, her body jiggling and sloshing as she did so. “I know that, I just didn’t think you were the joker type!” She’d pegged him as a quiet artist type, and she found his humour cute.

“Whaaat? Have Adam and Mel never told you about my infamous dad jokes? Hell, I still make Chuck Norris jokes!”

“What do you mean, still make Chuck Norris jokes? It hasn’t been that long has it?” Alice asked, and Warren shared a serious look with her. “Fifteen years Allie. We’re old.” Alice’s jaw dropped, horrified. “No, really?” Warren nodded. “Yup. The next generation has left us behind,” He put his hand to his forehead. “Oh woe is us to the old-timers, you know?”

Alice found herself enjoying Warren’s company very much.

“Well, to answer your questions, I’m more of a spice girl myself, and don’t tell me anything else that’ll make me feel like a rotting fruit.” She joked back. Warren clapped his hands together. “Shall we go pepperoni? We can have a large, I don’t want to assume but you probably need quite a lot of calories, right?” He was correct in his assumption, while Alice was huge as she was now, she actually required a ton of calories for her juice output.

“Yep, that’s right. Can’t really go to the gym to work off juice, right?” She joked. Warren laughed at her joke. “One day I’ll send you a video of me working out just to make you jealous.” Alice’s mouth went dry and her cheeks became warmer than the world’s hottest volcanoes, stuttering. “I, um, I don’t think that would make me jealous, per se…” She murmured. Warren shifted in his seat, careful to keep his blood from rushing south too much.

They ordered their pizza with some sides and Alice struck up more conversation. “So, how long were you with the military? You said you got your degree seven years ago, so that would make it.. eleven years?” Warren was impressed she managed to remember that. “More like ten years, but yeah. I regret the military if I’m honest, I would have gotten started on a family much earlier if not for that.”

Alice gave a soft smile. “I can believe that. It was rough with the twins when I was younger though.” She admitted. “I still feel like a fuck-up with them some days.” Warren leaned over, patting her breast gently. “You’ve done eons better than every other parent I’ve had to meet with over the past seven years, they’re fantastic Alice, really. You did a smashing job even single.”

Alice was glad, it made her feel better massively. “I’m just glad they weren’t only siblings, even if raising them was hard. I think I would have felt guilty if I’d just had either one of them.” Warren sympathised, thinking it through. “How do they feel about us?” He broached carefully.

Alice beamed. “We have their full blessings. They adore you, Warren. They never like the men I got close to, but you’re getting full marks off the bat.”

“Well I better make sure to ace the exam then.” He stated. Alice grinned, he was committed then. If that was the case, then so was she. “So, we’re both looking to start a family, yeah? Or expand mine, in my case.” She brought up the topic. Time for the hard conversations. “Have you.. got a budget planned out?” She’d always had a fund she’d never used just in case, but she needed to know if Warren was responsible.

“After the army I had my pension fund turned into a savings account if anything was needed. I think there’s about 15 thousand in there right now?” Alice approved, and as their pizza arrived, Warren moved his seat so he could feed her. “I have twenty squared away as an emergency fund.” She told him. “It’s part of the bursary I got when I joined the hospital and I was allowed to keep it as insurance.”

“That’s good.” Warren fed her the first slice. “MMnnnnnn…” Alice moaned. : I think thish might be the besht pizza I’ve ever had.” Maybe it was who she was sharing it with, but she was very much enjoying being fed. “Yeah? I’ll give the cooks my compliments then.” Warren decided. Alice continued with her train of thought. “If we do have kids together.. if we separate, if that ever happens, we’ll need to be good co-parents, good partners.”

Warren agreed with her. “Of course, but I really, really like you Alice. I don’t want to screw this up, even if we’ve only just started.” He promised, meaning it. Alice was the only woman who made him as devoted to such a feral level as he was. Alice’s eyes watered again and he took a bite of his own pizza. “That’s good, that’s good. What about marriage, what do you look for in a wife?”

Warren thought about it. “I haven’t really thought about marriage. As a concept I honestly never really needed that as a requirement if you know what I mean?” Alice cocked her head, prompting him to go on. “Of course I want to be eternally bonded to the one I love, but that is something deep in my soul that a ring can signify yes, but it could never show just how deeply I could love that person. You get me?”

Alice understood intimately, and suddenly she understood Warren on a much deeper level. “I do actually!” She was fed her next slice of pizza, Warren wiping away some of the tomato sauce that fell down her chin. “So marriage is shall we say third priority in all of this?” Warren agreed with that.

Eventually they’d finished their pizza. Alice felt stuffed to the brim, she let out a little burp.

“Oh, excuse me, that was slobbish of me!” She squeaked. Warren laughed, then let out a burp of his own. Alice giggled at that and Warren got up. “Shall I pay the tab?” Alice flapped her hands. “I have my card if you can-“

“No, no, my treat, promise.”

Warren paid for their meal, and helped Alice roll outside. Standing out in the parking lot, they stood awkwardly.

“I really enjoyed that.” Alice murmured softly. Warren grinned, satisfied. “i did too Allie. Hey, I should get going, but uh, wanna pick the place for next time?” Alice thought about it for a minute, before settling confidently. “My place, you’re free Friday?” Warren let out a gasp. She really trusted him with that so soon? “Are you sure?” He questioned gently. Alice flapped her hands, nodding. “I’m a hundred percent certain Warren. Friday then?”

“Friday.” Warren agreed, kissing her cheek before walking away. Alice whistled, turning on her earpiece. “Call Melissa.” As she prepared to go home, a song was playing on the radio nearby.

“Raindrops are falling on my head…”

Alice: Juicy Romance

Alice bustled about her kitchen, getting ready for her shift. Being a nurse was hard work, but she loved it. Even if she was a permaberry. Her belly hit the countertop and she winced, arching her back. “Jeez little ones,” She chided the large, basketball-sized blueberries inside her womb, three of them taking up a massive amount of space inside her. This was the second berry pregnancy she’d gone through since Melissa’s graduation, and she was seven months in.

“You wanna take it easy Mom?” Melissa helped her mother into her chair, rubbing her belly as juice swished and sloshed inside her. “You’ve got stretch marks and all, you need to be more careful with your body.” Alice knew Melissa was right, but she didn’t like to admit it. “The hospital already has me on clerical work Mel, what else can I do?”

Melissa shrugged. “I’m not sure Mom. You’re sure this week is your last before maternity leave?” Alice nodded, hand on her back as she rubbed her belly. She was huge, and even her nursing bra was taut and creaking, her boob-flesh bulging over the cups.

“I’m sure,” Alice replied, trying again to get up. She managed, but only with Melissa’s help.

“Hey, Mom, I was thinking,” Melissa began. Alice turned to her, curious. “Back when you gave birth back at the barbecue last year, you said you were curious about dating again.” Melissa bit her lip, and Alice’s heart beat a little faster in her chest.

“Can I sign you up for a dating profile?”

Alice’s cheeks went warm. “Oh, Mel! U-um, well..” She wasn’t sure about this, but she had been single for so long… “Okay then Mel, just help me do it when I get home yeah?” Melissa beamed. “Oh, and Mom?” Alice turned back to her daughter. “I hope I get some new siblings out of this!”

Alice’s cheeks were aflame, and she squeaked. That was a conversation for later.

“Tell your brother to take breaks from his revision.” She told Melissa, before waddling off towards the subway.

Living in a small town meant having to catch the train to the hospital she worked at. Her blue scrubs barely fit her belly, her underbelly fully on display, and her baggy trousers tight around her fat, mom ass. She kept her hands on her belly, rubbing wide, slow circles as she approached her line. She was getting stares from everybody, but she was trying her best to pay them no mind, even as more threads on her nurse garb popped open.

“Here, have my seat,” A young man offered as soon as she’d waddled on, her belly creaking and groaning. “Nnnfff…. Thank you..” She moaned, sitting herself down. Her belly reached far beyond her lap, and she couldn’t reach her belly-button from here. She rubbed and rubbed, feeling the sensation of the juice packing her hips. Her body was slowly starting to take up more space on the train by the minute.

She got out of the train less than twenty minutes later, heaving herself up as best she could. The young man from before grabbed her arms. “Let me help,” He offered. Alice let him, getting up. She could see him eyeing her tits, and she huffed. “Hey, can you not young man?” If the fact that she was pregnant hadn’t put him off, what would. The man raised his hands in surrender. “You got it ma’am, sorry.” He shuffled off and Alice put her hand on the small of her back.

“Holy shit you’re huge.” Another pregnant woman gaped at her, and Alice felt her cheeks go warm. “Thank you, but I’m well aware…” Alice murmured, huffing and panting. The other woman only simply stared at her. “How far along are you?” The woman asked. Finally, a question. “I-I’m about a month away from due.. please, I’m going to be late to work?” She requested, trying to waddle past the woman.

“O-oh I’m sorry, I’ve just never seen anyone as big as you are! And your skin, are you a permaberry?!” Alice growled. “Ma’am, please just MOVE!” She begged, waddling around the woman and towards the hospital. She was getting rounder by the minute. She thanked the gods for double doors as she entered, immediately noting a couple patients in the hallway. “Nngh.. oh God… s-sorry! S-‘scuse me!” She apologised as she heaved herself past them, her asscheeks clapping as she did so, to her mortification.

She eventually made it to the reception desk. She thought about sitting down on the chair, but with her current weight, at a few hundred pounds of juice that was out of the question. She had to stand there and wait. She could feel people staring at her even as she sidled her way into the reception area. “Rough commute?” Mikayla, the young intern asked sympathetically. The goth girl spun in her chair, watching as Alice’s breasts tore through her dress.

“Ugggh!!” Alice groaned, watching as threads popped one by one, her gargantuan belly ripping through her attire, popped navel bulging forwards angrily, like a thumb sized nub marking her as grotesquely pregnant. “I really gotta pump.” She huffed, deciding that that was answer enough for Mikayla.

“Want some help? I know for a fact you don’t have a pump on hand.” That was true, since she’d gotten pregnant again she hadn’t been carrying anything over a hundred kilograms in case she damaged the fruit or pulp in any way. The farmer’s market wanted pristine produce.

“Would you? I know it’s probably really gross and sucky for you but- nnnf!” Alice moaned, feeling Mikayla’s hands squeezing her breasts into the buckets the office had designated for her collection. “Relax, Alice, you taught me all the shit I know, I’m not gonna not help you when big mama needs a release, huh?” Alice knew she was being incredibly lewd, but the blueberry milk pumping from her tits felt exquisite, and her crotch throbbed with need.

“Th-th-thank youu…” She whined, flapping her hands. At least some of the pressure was off. Her limbs were so thick and full she could no longer move them, and she was left in just her panties, the waistband of which was very quickly outgrowing her fat asscheeks.

“Damn, almost there Alice. Want help?” The offer from Mikayla was kind, but Alice’s panties were so tight that if Mikayla dared put her fingers in there, they’d be crushed.

CREEAAAAAK, GROOOOAAAAAN…

BANG!

Her panties shattered in scraps and torn sheets of fabric, ruined by the blueberry juice gushing from Alice’s nethers, her limbs becoming swallowed by her enormity, flapping hands and feet settling inside her divots, her growth swelling to a crescendo as her ass ballooned one more time, leaving her a weighty, heavy orb of a momma berry, rocking on her crotch. “Nnnooooohhh fuuuuu…” Alice whined, panting and huffing.

Mikayla chuckled. “Whoa there Allie, wait until your break before you get all this out, huh?” Alice whined. “Come on Mikayla, I have needs, I’m pregnant…” She complained. Mikayla shrugged. “You wanted to get off, you should have taken early maternity leave. You could leave right now and no-one would blame you.” Alice mulled that over. She had of course considered it, but she had her kids to think about.

“But I’m needed here, aren’t I?” She asked. Mikayla turned to her. “This hospital has run without you before you came here and it’ll still be running when you’re back from maternity leave.” Mikayla said. Alice sighed, flapping her hands in her divots. She really wasn’t getting much work done like this, she would admit that much. “Okay, I guess I’ll go and tell Lisa.”

She huffed and panted as she waddled towards the partition in the reception desk.

“She’s so big, you think she’s a beached whale?”

“Poor woman, dealing with a condition like that. I wouldn’t ever want to be that fat.”

Alice didn’t like the comments per se, but it certainly didn’t help the building arousal in her nethers. SHHHK. “Shit!” She cursed, hoping there weren’t any children around. “Here Allie, lemme help.” Mikayla shoved on Alice’s fat asscheeks, heaving and pushing her through the partition bit by bit. Finally, Alice popped through with a yelp. She thankfully landed on her lower belly, cushioning her fall, but also just about allowing her to teeter back onto her feet.

The waddle of shame to Lisa’s office had Alice’s cheeks burning with want the entire time, the idle sloshes and churns of her juice, the weight in her crotch making her want to cum right then and there. She waddled into the doorframe, bumping the door with her belly. Lisa opened it, eyebrows shooting up. “Alice, I thought you were on leave!” She was evidently horrified Alice was even working at her stage in pregnancy, making Alice feel even worse. “I’m sorry Lisa, I came to tell you I’m taking my leave now. I know I’ve just left you understaffed, I feel really bad-“

“Don’t! HR shouldn’t even have rota-ed you, what were they thinking? I’ll get Evan to cover, go Alice, c’mon, you’re like an inch away from popping those berries out.” Alice nodded, waddling back towards the entrance of the hospital. She sighed, she was going to have to call Melissa. She flapped her hands, waddling up to one of the residents. “I’m sorry, can I borrow your phone for a minute? I need to call my daughter to pick me up-“

“Holy shit! U-um, of course!” The resident brought out her phone, moving to hand it to her, then evidently thinking better of it. “Uh, what’s her number?” Alice recited it off by hand. Usually she had a Bluetooth earpiece she could use, but she’d forgotten it at home. The resident held the phone to Alice’s ear. “Mom?” Came Melissa’s voice from the phone. “Hey honey, can you uh, bring the truck? I got sent home on maternity leave.”

“Finally! Of course Mama, I’m coming. Just stay out there and I’ll come get you.” Alice truly did love her children. “Thank you honey, see you soon.” As the resident hung up the phone, she examined Alice. “Y-you’re that nurse! The one from the college video?” Alice cringed, too many people had seen that. “Y-yeah, I am.”

“And you’re pregnant too? Even like that? Wow, who’s the lucky guy?”

Alice blushed, looking off to the side. “It’s not like that, I-I’m pregnant with blueberries!” She explained. “They’re baby sized, that’s all.” The resident gaped at her exposed belly. “How many?” Alice sighed. “Three… I’m eight and a half months pregnant.” The resident crossed her arms. “That’s so dangerous! You should be at home, resting up!” Alice had had enough of everyone pitying her. “I’m not gonna be lectured by someone the same age as my daughter, please, I’ve gotten enough of that today!”

The resident calmed down. “Sorry. I’m Jessie.” The punk looking resident introduced herself. “For what it’s worth, I think you’re pretty cool.” Alice felt her cheeks go warm. “Thank you sweetie. I’m Alice.” While they waited for Melissa, Alice noted the flickered glances Jessie kept giving to Alice’s belly.

“Wanna rub it?” Alice invited warmly. “They’re moving.”

“They can move?” Jessie asked, Alice nodded. “Yeah, it’s weird, they’re fruit but they move. Guess I’m just that big.” Jessie giggled, noting the huge form of one of the berries pressing against her palm. “That’s super freaky, and super cool.” Jessie softened up. “Would you ever have more kids one day?” Alice stopped short. “H-huh?” She took a moment to think about it.

“I don’t know.. I mean, I AM hyperfertile, and permanently fertile, b-but I’m single, who would-“ Now it was Jessie’s time to cringe. “Oh shit, I’m sorry, I thought-“

“No, no, it’s okay-“

“It’s really not-“

“Oh my God, I want more kids.” Alice realised. That revelation was cut short by Melissa’s arrival. Jessie whistled. “Hey Alice? Mind if I get your daughter’s number? She’s really cute.” Alice glanced at Jessie. “You’re asking my permission? You don’t need it sweetie, go ahead.”

Melissa approached the duo, apologising profusely to Jessie. “Hey, thank you so much and sorry Mom had to borrow your phone, I’ve been begging her to take her leave for ages and-“

“Nah, it’s fine, your mom is cool! I mean, if you wanted to repay me, you could buy me a coffee next Tuesday if you’re free?” Alice watched as Melissa’s cheeks turned bright red, beaming from ear to ear. “Okay, you’re on!” Melissa watched as Jessie rushed off, Alice belly bumping her daughter. “Shall we head home honey?” She asked lightly. Melissa focused back in. “Oh, yes, of course Mama!” She agreed.

Gently tipping Alice onto her back, Melissa rolled her mother into the back of the truck. Securing her with the ropes, Melissa made sure they weren’t too tight. “Have you gotten heavier?” Melissa asked absent-mindedly. Alice wasn’t offended by the question though. “The berries probably went through a growth spurt again.”

Melissa agreed with that. “They were eight pounds last we checked, right?” Alice confirmed that with a nod.

Alice and Melissa returned home, and Melissa rolled Alice inside. “Hey Adam, we’re home!” Melissa called. “Come out of your room dumbass, Mom’s home!” Adam soon came down the stairs. “Dude, seriously?” He addressed Melissa, then Alice. “Hey Mom, I’ll put some food on. Craving anything specific?” Alice pondered for a moment, then replied. “Burgers? With some pickles and barbecue if you can?” Adam nodded and got to work.

“Hey guys?” Alice murmured as she finished eating. “If I said I wanted to have more kids, give you guys siblings… what would you say?” Adam and Melissa stopped what they were doing, focused fully on their mother. “I.. Wouldn’t that be weird?” Adam asked. “Like, we’re in college and we’ll be a full generation or two older than them.” Alice knew that, but thought about it anyway. “I know, but eventually you two will be out of the house, and I’m thirty-eight. I still have a lot left in me, and to be honest.. I always wanted a big family.”

Melissa squealed, hugging her mom. “Oooh Mom, I get to make you a dating profile then?” Alice giggled. “Sure honey, just let me have input on it.” Melissa was enthusiastic and immediately pulled out her phone. “Let’s get you bred, Mama!”

Melissa rolled Alice into the living room, settling her on her belly. Opening a dating website, Melissa turned to Alice. “Smile for the camera Mom!” Alice gave a soft smile, flapping her hands.

“Are you sure people will want to date a fat blueberry like me?” Melissa gave her a deadpan stare. “Mom, Mom. You’re hot, face it. Even as round as you are, you’re super attractive, and that’s coming from me.” Alice’s cheeks ran hot and she rested her chin in her divot. “Thanks honey.” Melissa sat down between Alice’s breasts, typing away.

“O-oh, what about aspiring breeder to be?” Melissa suggested. Alice squeaked. “Mel! I[I uh, are you sure? Wouldn’t it send the wrong impression?”

Melissa shrugged. “It’s the right sentiment, right? It works.” Before Alice could reject it, Melissa typed it in. Eventually they had her entire profile built, and Alice looked it over. “I guess that works.. and there aren’t any like, extra things you’ve put in there?”

Melissa shook her head. “No, apart from stating you’re a single mom of us, nothing else you didn’t want.” She rubbed Alice’s breast. “You’re gonna do great Mom.”

Alice didn’t officially want to start dating until she’d given birth, so she’d had Melissa save the account in her drafts until she was ready. A week and a half later, Alice was waddling around, nesting. Adam was nearby on Discord with his friends, and Melissa was out with her new girlfriend. Alice folded another t-shirt, putting it on the couch. She breathed heavily, her pregnant belly overloaded with the now eight pound berries, having practically ballooned in weight over the past three days.

She’d been feeling off all day, and she groaned, rubbing her belly. Wearing just a bra and boxer shorts, she was too hot for anything else. “Ooohh.. pressure..” She whined, a hand on the small of her back as a feeling like a bowling ball sitting on her spine welled up in her pelvis.

Adam looked over from the computer. “You good Mom?” He asked cautiously. A bead of blueberry sweat dripped down Alice’s brow, and she groaned again.

“A-Adam… can you call your sister?” She gasped out slowly. “The berries are on their way.”

Adam paled, then nodded, grabbing his phone, Discord call forgotten for the moment. Alice sat down on the couch, a finger sliding down her panties, checking her dilation. “Nngghhh.. not even a centimetre?” She whined, hitting the couch with frustration. She focused on her breathing, flushed violet as the contractions rolled through her body. It didn’t hurt, it was actually incredibly arousing, the weight on her crotch making her womanhood hot and throbbing.

Adam returned soon after, kneeling by her. “Jessie and Melissa are on their way, are you good?” Alice breathed, gripping the couch. “For now, yeah, u-um.. I’m not progressing too fast so you can keep going with your call if you like.” Adam was conflicted, leaving her in pain was never something he wanted to do, but his mother knew her body intimately, and he trusted her. “Okay, but the second you’re in pain I’m helping.” He compromised.

Alice waved him away, waiting as she dilated. Her belly grew bigger, filling her lap as juice sloshed and churned inside her. “Mmmnnnn…. C’mon little guys, out you get.” She coaxed, spreading her legs. Her breasts were overfilling her bra cups, stained and wet with milk. She was about a centimetre or two dilated by now. “Nggh… juice sac, right there…” She murmured to herself, feeling the balloon of amniotic fluid resting in her birth canal.

Melissa and Jessie appeared soonish, and Alice found she couldn’t reach her panties to take them off. “H-hey girls.. c-can you.. take off my panties? I gotta get this juice sac to break.” Jessie kneeled down. “I’m a resident in obstetrics, do you trust me?” She asked Alice. Alice bit her lip, nodding. “I’ve been to three other births before, with this midwife named Sara, she’s been teaching me everything I know, but this is.. unique.”

Jessie and Melissa peeled Alice out of her panties, and with a BANG, her boobs tore through her bra cups, snapping the elastic band as the garment fell haphazardly to the floor with a wet slap. “Okay Alice, how are we feeling?” Jessie asked. Alice whimpered in response. “I think I need to stand up. I need- need help.” Obediently, Melissa and Jessie grabbed one of Alice’s chubby arms each. “Pull!” Melissa ordered, and the two girls heaved Alice onto her feet.

“Whoaaaa!” Alice squeaked, stumbling before she was caught by Melissa and Jessie. “Jesus, she’s heavy-!” Jessie groaned. “H-hey!” Alice supposed that was fair but it was still a little embarrassing. “Sorry Alice.” Alice began slowly waddling around the room. her chunky, juice filled thighs sloshed as she did so, slow circles helping as the pressure amped up-

SPLASH!

“Nnnaaaaahhh!” Alice moaned as her juice broke, losing her plug as she bent over a slight bit. She was surprised she was still able to do so. Alice shuddered as another contraction made her cum, splashing on the rug. She could feel herself getting bigger, wider as the berries made their way down into the world, bulging her birth canal. “Ooooh…” She whined.

“Alice?” Jessie announced softly. “I’m gonna check you now, okay?” She felt Jessie’s shoulders brush her thighs and gasped, glad they were so fat she could no longer clench them, then the sensation of Jessie’s warm, slender fingers checking her womanhood drawing another long whine from her. “H-how far?” She asked uncertainly. Jessie hummed beneath her, listening to the burbling and sloshing from Alice’s burgeoning body. “About five centimetres. You’re doing superb Alice.” Jessie encouraged.

“Mel? Could you go grab the ice chips?” Melissa heeded her mother, heading into the kitchen as Jessie resurfaced, hands feeling around Alice’s expanding diameter, the boulder-like belly so heavy Alice just dropped onto it, laying on it as her limbs became stiffer and fatter. “You’re progressing fast now, you feel about ready to push yet? You’re not dilated yet, so if you need to, it should just be small, practiced breathing, yeah?” Jessie coached.

Alice heeded Jessie’s words, bearing down just a little. She felt some of the pressure abate and sighed happily. “That feel better?” Alice felt a lot better actually. “Y-yeah.. last time I wasn’t coached through this.. it was uh, at a family barbecue.” Jessie raised an eyebrow. Alice giggled, she couldn’t quite believe it herself, but it had happened. “I had hoped I wouldn’t go into labour that day, but my juice broke while I was serving and I had to push out three other blueberries in front of everyone.”

Jessie laughed, patting the turgid tummy in front of her. Alice’s limbs were starting to sink into her body, and Melissa returned with the ice chips as Jessie inspected Alice’s diameter. Adam was now fully focused on his mother as well, Discord call remaining open. “C’mon bro, hold the fucking point!” Alice heard from one of Adam’s friends, to which he lashed back.

“Dude, fuck the game right now, my mom is literally giving birth!” He retorted, and she heard calls of ‘holy shit’ and ‘dude, no way!’ From the call. “Nah bro, pics or it didn’t happen.” She heard. Adam gaped. “Dude, shut the fuck up, please? Imma go help her, y’all just talk amongst yourselves.” He got up from his chair, approaching Alice. “Sorry about them,” he apologised.

“You really need better friends baby.” Alice groaned, her limbs sinking in and leaving her a full, ripe blueberry, Jessie checking her once again. “Okay Alice, listen carefully. You’re ten centimetres now, so we’re gonna get this show on the road. When you feel ready to push, push, yeah?” Jessie ordered firmly. Alice whimpered. She was nervous, but she knew she could do this. She’d done this once before, this was just practice for the future.

“Nnnngaaaahhh!” She bore down. She felt the first berry shifting into place, starting to descend out of her. She let go of the contraction, breathing deeply, in and out rhythmically. “That’s it Mama, come on.” Melissa encouraged. Urged on by the love of her children, Alice groaned, bearing down again.

She felt powerful. This primal, ancient sensation settled in her chest, and as the weight in her underside increased, so did the pressure. “C’mon, c’mon, I got this, I got this,” She murmured to herself. Another push had her vagina begin to ache, the first berry crowning. “Okay, here it is mama, you ready?” Jessie asked. Alice’s feet shook with the effort, nestled in their divots as she pushed again.

“Grraaaaagghh!” She growled, the first berry popping out of her with a gush of liquid and a cheer from Adam and Melissa. “One down Mom!” Adam cheered, rubbing her taut side. “Ready for the others?” Alice panted and huffed. “Give me.. give me a minute guys.. need a moment…” She gathered her strength. Every inch of her was electric, and she bit her lip.

This sensation… it was amazing. She was operating on pure maternal instinct now, elevated to her highest peak as she began working the second berry out. “One, two, threee..” She mooed, slow, steady minuscule pushes inching the second berry further out of her womb. As Alice eased the berry downwards, she leaned into the sensation of the ache as her labia lips bulged, groaning and hissing in arousal as she pushed.

“Doing so well Alice, so close.” Jessie encouraged. Alice was sweating from the exertion, her cheeks purple. Melissa grabbed an ice chip, holding it to Alice’s lips. Alice swallowed it gratefully, holding it on her tongue for a moment before she did. Her body quaked and shuddered with every push she gave, and as she pushed again, she felt it fully crown. “Come on, come on, come ON!” She cried out, and with another wet POP! The second berry was out, falling to the floor ceremoniously.

“Last one now Mama, home stretch.” Melissa encouraged. Adam, who had been mostly silent and focused on massaging Alice’s taut, tense spots agreed with her. “You’re amazing Mom, you got this.” Spurred on by her family’s love, Alice breathed in. “Okay guys, let’s get this big blueberry out of mama berry.” She started pushing low, powerful pushes that rocked her belly.

“Slow and steady wins the race now Alice, careful.” Jessie advised. Alice was on autopilot now though, pushing and pushing with careful precision, every note her body hit was pitch perfect, and before too long, the last berry was right at her entrance. “Here it comes Jessie, catch it, catch it, catch it!” She exclaimed. And catch it Jessie did as the last berry exploded from Alice’s womb, finally empty of all the blueberries.

“You did it!” Melinda crowed happily. “Fuck yeah Mama, there you go!” As the family celebrated, Jessie cleaned up all three gigantic blueberries, weighing eight pounds each. “Now what do we do with them?” Melissa looked them over. “Well, now that we got them cleaned up, we get them tested and get them sold on the farmer’s market.”

Alice let out a chuckle. Then a giggle. Then a full blown belly laugh. Eventually the others joined in, and Alice proposed something.

“Wanna take a selfie together and post it to the girls at the ward?” She suggested. At that, everybody agreed. Adam, Melissa and Jessie each grabbed a berry, nestling it in their arms as Jessie held her phone above her head. “Say blueberry!” She snapped the photo, and they all giggled again.

Alice was happy. Now she could recover, and prepare to begin dating again.

Because a convo with Mrs P reminded me I hadn’t uploaded all chapters on here yet.

#blueberryinko #blueberry momma #blueberry kink #blueberryinflation #blueberry expansion #blueberry inflation #so pregnant #spherepreg #multiples #pregnancy kink #older pregnancy #barefoot and pregnant #oc: alice

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http-barnes · 3 years ago

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own you || loki

ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: don't taunt a God if you can't handle the consequences. ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: loki x fem!reader ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: who's asking????? ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: smut;fluff

You often found yourself in difficult situations because of your big mouth. Whether it was on purpose or not, you became known for always getting in trouble, especially with the sons of Odin.

You met as children. Odin decided that their sons should have their personal guard, and he offered generous compensation for whoever was willing to subject their young children to military training. Odin needed to make sure the future soldiers were trustworthy, and what better way to ensure that than to make them grow next to his children, and train beside them. Although Frigga disagreed with this decision, Odin had the last word as per usual.

Many families signed their children up, but your adventurous and reckless personality placed you high in Odin's consideration. It would later be revealed that you were a nice addition to his sons' guard, however as someone who lived in the palace you could be quite... messy. And noisy. And clumsy. Again, you didn't get on their nerves on purpose, it just happened often. Although you had become family and they loved you anyway (they just wished you were a little less... all over the place).

You had even managed to make Thor angry. He was someone who got angry easily, but he didn't punish people unless absolutely necessary in his eyes. And you managed to piss him off.

"You know you should really stop calling him that..."

"Oh come on Loki it's cute! He should be flattered, not angry!"

Loki, who was leaning against one of the columns of the castle, raised an eyebrow at you and laughed at your state. Thor had laid you on your back, and placed Mjolnir on top of your hair. An effective way to make sure you stayed there and 'thought about the consequences of your actions' without putting you in a jail cell.

"I don't think the God of Thunder likes to be called 'golden retriever'. He's gonna stop taking you to Midgard if you don't stop finding cute things to compare him to."

You stuck your tongue out at Loki and found trouble with yet another brother.

Loki and Thor treated you like a brother. There was one other girl on your team, but they treated her much differently. You always wondered why, but you weren't jealous, since both brothers were much closer to you. Although Loki looked at you strangely sometimes, his stare would linger and he would inspect you many times throughout the day, but then again, Loki was strange.

Odin didn't like you all that much, but Frigga (who you were sure was incapable of disliking anything) loved you and was the one who always helped you get dressed for banquets.

It was a part that you hated: banquets and royal parties. You'd have to be there, and most times since those events had the royal guards present anyway, you and the rest of the people assigned to watch over the Odinsons got to sit down at the table. Which meant complicated dresses and uncomfortable hairstyles.

"You look lovely, Y/N." Frigga told you, as she finished fixing your dress.

"Well, I don't feel lovely."

She laughed at your joke and stood in front of you, as if admiring her artwork. Frigga then stepped closer and placed a hand on your cheek.

"You're like the daughter I always wanted to have, I would be honoured to have you as a daughter-in-law."

You nearly choked in your own spit.

"With all due respect, no thank you."

The woman laughed and stepped away from you, as she fixed the table with all the cloths she used for your dress.

"My sons are still in their rebellious phase, which I'm afraid isn't passing anytime soon, but they are good men."

You blushed at Frigga's words. Imagining your lifelong friends as anything other than just that was weird...

You thanked her and left the room, to meet with the rest of your friends before the dinner party. Everyone's eyes landed on you as soon as you stepped in the room. You didn't look like a soldier or a guard, you looked like part of the royal family.

"What's with all the boobs? Since when have you had those." Thor said, smiling proudly at his joke as he shoved a bunch of grapes in his mouth.

"Not for you to look at, asshole."

"Oh? Who is it that should look at them?" Loki teased.

You squinted your eyes and covered your chest with one of your hands.

"A handsome young lad worthy enough to do so, which excludes all of you in this room."

Thor, Loki, and your two other friends started jokingly complaining.

You usually got together before every royal event, to drink and eat. You'd show up already slightly drunk and full, which meant you didn't have to pig out in front of important people. The drunk part was just so the party would be a little more tolerable.

You arrived early to the dinner party, and the shoes Frigga had lent you mixed with the strong wine, had you bumping and crashing into everyone.

Eventually, you felt a hand wrap around your waist.

"You drink like a Midgardian." The voice you recognized as Loki's whispered in your ear.

You faked a shocked expression, which was a lot more exaggerated since you were drunk, and pressed your index finger against his chest.

"You take that back Mr. Odinson!"

"No can do!" He said, before vanishing into the crowd.

You pouted and carried on with walking around. The dress Frigga made you seemed to be a hit, as numerous men (and even some women and in between) brought you drinks and tried to court you. Throughout the night you could feel a pair of eyes burning in your skull, but you assumed it was just Odin giving you his disapproving stare once more.

At some point, you weren't sure when, you had been talking to the same guy for a long time, and he kept bringing you drinks and getting closer and closer. Suddenly, a familiar arm wrapped around your waist.

"Alright, it's time we go Y/N."

"Wait!" You protested, trying to get away from his grip "But I was talking to him!"

"You can talk to him later."

Loki brought you into his room and sat you on the bed.

"What did you do that for?" You asked, pouting.

Loki brushed his coal-black hair back with his hand, as the other rested on his hip.

"He was just trying to screw you! And he was doing that by getting you drunk."

"So? What if I wanted that."

Loki looked at you. You couldn't quite understand what that look meant, as it was a mix of emotions.

"Come on he just wanted you because you look good in the dress, that's disgusting."

You moved uncomfortably in the dress.

"I look better out of it."

Loki licked his lips and smiled.

"Oh, I'm sure of that."

You stopped and widened your eyes at the comment.

"Loki! That's not what I meant! I meat I look better out of it and in my usual garments."

The man got walked closer to you and gripped your jaw with one hand, forcing you to look at him.

"And you know what I meant."

"Loki..." You started.

"Yes, Y/N?"

"Never in your life."

You stood up, and made your way to the gigantic gilded door with wobbly legs.

Loki didn't let you get far, he grabbed your hips and pulled you back into his chest.

"You're gonna go back into that room to talk with the peasant when you could get something better," he paused, as his hand pulled your skirt up "right here."

You let yourself melt into his touch.

Loki let out his signature cocky laugh, and if he hadn't gotten you wrapped around his finger it would annoy you, but in this scenario, with the dim light passing through the curtains, even that was hot.

You allowed him to slip the dress off of your body, leaving you with nothing on. Loki kissed down your neck, until he reached your shoulder, always keeping a tight grip on your waist.

"It was worth waiting to see you, darling..."

His deep voice and flattering words had you shivering. Loki turned you around and ghosted your lips over yours, almost as if asking for permission, giving you a chance to push him away if you felt uncomfortable, but instead you closed the gap.

That gave Loki the green card to do what he wanted to, and so he gripped you tighter and pulled you closer. You could feel his hard-on poking at your thigh, and you allowed your hand to trail down his body, as the other one played with his hair.

"Nuh-uh," Loki said, grabbing a hold of your hand "your job is to take care of us, so for tonight," he paused, and whispered in your ear "I'll take care of you."

In one swift movement, Loki had you lying on his bed, facing the ceiling. The God settled between your legs, and spread them so he'd fit. Loki pampered the insides of your thighs with kisses, getting closer and closer to your core, right where you needed him. And you soon found he had more than reason to be cocky about everything, as that was another thing he was very talented at.

He sucked on your clit as his fingers slapped your thighs. His digits then teased at your entrance, but he refused to give you what you wanted.

You gripped his hair tightly, out of desperation.

"Shit, Loki, please!" You begged.

He smiled. That annoying smile you were sure you'd see more of from now on...

Loki's lips kissed up your body, taking their sweet time with your breasts, kissing and sucking on them, as one of his hands took care of the unoccupied breast. Before he could kiss you again, you stopped him.

"Wait- I wanna... I wanna see you. Please?" You asked.

Loki smiled and gave you a long kiss.

"As you wish."

He climbed off of the bed and you watched attentively as the man stripped down to nothing. His body had gotten more toned since last you saw him without a shirt on, and your eyes were glued to him.

Loki hovered over you once more and tipped your chin up with two fingers.

"If you behave I'll guarantee this won't be the last time you see me like this."

You blushed, and before you could reply, his lips were on yours once more. Loki's kisses were a match of his personality, intense, and always in control.

You were very aware of the way his tip ran up and down your folds, but you weren't expecting him to slam into you as mercilessly as he did. The kiss muffled your moan, but just barely, and as your fingers gripped the sheets of his bed, Loki's hips started moving slowly. Once you got used to his length, the God started bottoming inside of you faster and faster, his eyes switching between the way your tits bounced and your pleasure-filled face.

"Such a good girl, taking my cock so well."

His lips left a kiss right under your ear, before he whispered.

"I own you now, no one else gets to fuck you but me, got that?"

"Shit, yes Loki!"

The way he claimed you was turning you on beyond belief, and you never thought his cockiness and ego would be as hot as it actually was.

Loki kept thrusting into you, a string of praises leaving his mouth every so often.

As he felt you tighten around his cock, Loki's hand trailed up your body once more, and wrapped around your neck, making you moan his name uncontrollably.

One last powerful thrust was all it took to send you over the edge, and Loki, who had been holding himself back for a while, let himself go and came inside of you as well.

The God fell beside you on the bed, as he tried regaining his breath. He looked over to your fucked out face and smiled, pulling you closer in the process.

"You behaved accordingly, we may repeat soon."

You hummed, as you were too tired to reply, and the last thing you felt before dozing off, was Loki kissing the top of your head softly.

The next day you were very aware of what you had done. You didn't regret it, of course, you weren't as drunk as it seemed and you quite enjoyed it, but 'next mornings' were something you were very bad at, so you collected your clothes and left.

As you closed the door of his bedroom, you turned around to face none other than Frigga. Coming out of her son's bedroom, messily wrapped in the previous night's attire didn't leave much to the imagination, and so she smiled, with a knowing look, and walked away. But not before making a cheeky comment.

"Loki, hm? I always thought it'd be Thor."

#loki #loki series #loki smut #loki scenarios #loki scenario #marvel #marvel loki #marvel smut #marvel loki smut #marvel fluff #loki fluff #loki odinson smut #loki laufeyson smut #loki smut scenario #loki x reader #lokixreader #loki x yn

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moonflowerdamie · 2 years ago

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i’m super bored so i’m gonna rate stranger things ships! buckle in folks, let’s get into it😎

•mileven—4/10•

it’s ok ig. i’m not like a hater of it? but it’s definitely not a great ship. no hate to mileven stans, it’s just not for me. i liked them in season 1 and 2, but it got toxic and weird in season 3 and season 4 solidified my disdain for it. i think mike needs to do some self-reflection (maybe discover a few things about himself—michael wheeler i know what you are) and i think el needs to become her own person outside of her relationship with him. i wholeheartedly support the el/mike exes-to-besties agenda though!

•jopper—8/10•

they’re so cute oml, i shipped them since season 1 and their build-up and eventual payoff was immaculate! i loved their early season tension and their kiss in season 4 was so so good. they fit so well together. they don’t get 10/10 only because a) i LOVED bob and joyce in season 2 more than life and will forever mourn that joyous man and b) i kinda loved the whole single grumpy father figure/lonely teenage daughter dynamic el and hop had.

•lumax—10/10•

this ship. this goddamn ship. the hurt/comfort. the angst. the teasing. the SOULMATISM of it all. seriously, these two are meant for each other. lucas is max’s safe place, her happiest memory and her favourite escape. max is lucas’ sunshine, his wake-up call, his reason to try. i didn’t use to love them, in fact it was only since season 4 that i’ve been such an avid shipper of them but god. they really are the softest. ‘i like talking with you, mad max’ and ‘i’m still here’ and ‘lucas!’ and the notes and the snowball and holy shit i love them sm.

•byler—7/10•

this is with the exception of season 2 byler, which gets 10/10 (‘crazy together’ oh my god). apart from that, i get the hype for it, but i also want the best for my lil ball of fruity sunshine will byers. he is my baby boy and i will protect him. and i just think that mike needs to do some growing up before he’s ready to be with will. also, i’ve never loved mike as a character (again, with the exception of s1 and 2 mike, he was a sweetie) and i think he’d end up hurting will if they got together at this point. in the future, if mike can prove that he’s matured and grown into himself, i will wholeheartedly support this relationship.

•jancy—6/10•

again, it’s ok. i did love them in season 2, but season 1 jonathan was a creep, and season 3 jancy just didn’t do it for me. jonny boy has grown on me over the seasons, but i think everybody moved on from him taking nakey nakey pictures of nancy without her knowledge wayyyyy too quickly. also, they just want different things in life and that’s ok! i do prefer them over stancy, but if i’m honest, i am absolutely a lesbian nancy supporter. the comphet on that woman is insane. so again, like mileven, i am a nancy/jonathan exes-to-besties advocate!

•stancy—4/10•

they were not it in season 4. like, it made me angry that the duffers tried to push it on us again. i did sort of like them in the early seasons, but steve was a jerk and nancy needed to grow into herself and they went their separate ways for the better. steve became a good person and nancy became the strong, independent badass woman we all know and love. i love them as friends and co-babysitters of the kids, but not as lovers. their arcs wouldn’t have happened without their break-up, and they’re both so different as people that getting back together would’ve been like going backwards. steve’s speech about kids in the van made me physically ill with how a) out of character it was and b) how the duffer brothers tried to make it seem like pushing out 6 kids and living the suburban american dream (read: nightmare) was something nancy would want, when she’s spent 3 seasons displaying an obvious disgust for that kind of life. if they get back together in s5 i’ll be throwing something at the tv.

•elmax—9/10•

they. are. so. cute. i love this ship sm, it’s so wholesome and soft. it just works as well—el allows max to explore her own kindness, her own vulnerability, her own ability to care, and max allows el to explore her own identity, what makes her happy, how to be independent. season 3 elmax was superior, but that scene in s4 where they reunite is utterly breathtaking—‘if you touch her again, i will kill you again’ protective gfs!! honestly, if i wasn’t such a lumax shipper i’d be all in for them. as it is, my motto is currently this: max has two hands! one for el and one for lucas :)

•madwheeler—1/10•

no. just no. these two actively dislike each other lmao. max is perpetually annoyed by mike’s existence and mike thinks max is like, the worst. they couldn’t even do enemies to lovers because max would steal mike’s gf in a heartbeat and would probably rather eat glass than kiss michael wheeler. they only get 1 point because finn and sadie have a sweet friendship.

•eddsy—6/10•

they would’ve been cute tbh. and since it’s been discovered that chrissy is actually 18 instead of 16, it’s not a weird one either. when i thought she was 16 i was put off, but now i’m sort of neutral on it. that scene in the woods was very sweet and her and eddie totally could have had the whole popular cheerleader gf/metalhead nerdy bf thing going on. however, it was only one episode they were in together and the ship was never one i was like ‘oh my god i love this’ so. i will say that grace van dien does not deserve the hate she gets for shipping them, especially when joseph quinn gets none of it for the same thing. other than that, it’s not massively awesome but it’s pretty cute.

•willel—0/10•

if you ship this, seek help. they are siblings.

•henclair—4/10•

they could be cute ig, but i just see them as besties. add in the fact that lumax is one of my fav ships and dustin and suzie are super cute and this ship is just sort of meh to me.

•duzie—7/10•

very sweet. nerd gf/geek bf. ‘never-ending story’ was a cultural reset and they’re both icons for it. honestly, not a ship that rocked my world but they are super cute so. 7 points.

•rockie—7/10•

at this point i just want robin to have a gf. just let maya hawke kiss a woman on this show. at first, i was super excited for these 2, but then i saw the way miss buckley looked at nancy wheeler and i was like ‘vickie who?’ (i see you duffer brothers). also, vickie’s whole character felt like a diversity box tick. like she had no originality whatsoever, they just made her a carbon copy of robin which pissed me off. however, i see the potential. i would not be unhappy if they had a fleshed out, well-developed relationship in s5. especially since vickie, a bi girl, is being played by amybeth mcnulty, a bi queen.

•steddie—5/10•

ok. so. i don’t hate this ship. i really don’t. in fact, i’ve written them in some of my ronance fics. i think they could’ve been cute. however. they hype for these two was so overdone and the way people treated them in comparison to more fleshed out, developed dynamics like ronance was really annoying. especially because the majority of steddie shippers are straight women who then deny that ronance could ever happen. the ship itself was ok, but if i’m being realistic, they didn’t have that many scenes together and the fandom of this ship ruined it for me. the fact that the majority of fics in the ronance tag on ao3 are steddie with background ronance really grinds my fucking gears, and the amount of people who are fetishising steddie because they’re both attractive men is just so fucking irritating. overall, not a bad ship but a fairly toxic fandom (not all of you, of course—chill steddie shippers are cool, but some of y’all, jesus christ)

•harringrove—1/10•

awful, awful ship. no. don’t ship steve with the racist abuser just because they’re both semi-attractive white men. only gets a point because of joe keery’s fruity (not assuming his sexuality, just joking about his actions) behaviour towards dacre montgomery.

•stobin—0/10•

robin buckley. is. a LESBIAN. she’s GAY. SHE LIKES WOMEN AND WOMEN ONLY. if you ship these two romantically, i can only assume you’re a homophobic asshole who deserves sand thrown in their eyes. unapologetically, if you ship steve and robin as a couple, i hope you slip in the shower, motherfucker.

•stonathan—2/10•

i mean, it’s not the worst??? but again, i think it’s people shipping them just because they’re two white men who talked to each other. like, did y’all forget that steve literally called jonathan a slur? and that they tried to beat the shit out of each other? i don’t hate it the way i hate harringrove, but it’s so so unlikely and i’d be so puzzled if it ever was even hinted at.

•murray/alexei—6/10•

these two would’ve been cute. and i do think murray is gay, and probably did have a little thing for alexei. i don’t know about alexei but they were definitely cute friends. and i was so betrayed and upset by his death. a fairly good ship, no complaints from me.

and finally…

•ronance—1284028/10😌🥹😍•

the best ship. for nancy, for robin, for the show, for ever. they mean the world to me. they are the world to me. if i had one wish, it would be for ronance to be canon. they make me so fucking emotional because i want what they have. as someone who so heavily relates to robin (chaotic lonely lesbian who is desperate for love but feels she may never be loved as much as she loves, possibly autistic and feels destined to be an annoyance to those around her) i want a nancy. i want to be loved in my entirety. and those two, they get each other. sure, robin irritated nancy at first and they didn’t get on, but they grew. nancy, who’s never had anyone listen to her and believe in her with such intent, finds robin, who is more than willing to, who thinks ‘nancy’s a genius’ and would follow her anywhere. robin, who thinks all she can ever be is helpless and annoying, finds nancy, who trusts her with her life, who picks her and picks her and keeps picking her, who thinks she’s just as smart as she actually is, who understands her needs and her vulnerabilities and validates her, tells her ‘it’s ok’ and ‘you got this’. these two work in a way no other ship does and they are so undeniably soulmates. they need each other. they want each other. they deserve each other. there’s a reason i write about them so much—holy shit honestly i love them so fucking much.

anyways, that got a lot longer than i thought it would! i hope you guys enjoyed my ramblings haha :)

#stranger things #ronance #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #stranger things s4 #robin buckley x nancy wheeler #robin x nancy #stancy #jancy #mileven #byler #lumax #elmax #jopper #steddie #rockie #eddsy

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