#this is a very old photo that i never shared but i thought the caption worked well enough for it

[kah-way-loh]

The chances of encountering me in the wild are low...

...but they're never zero.

[Image description: Big Furb the 1999 black customized Witch's Cat Furby with a black beak and multiple yellow eyes is sitting in the crook of a tree, with their right side partially obscured by said tree. End ID.]

[octuscle]

Gold and coal

Johannes was a passionate influencer. When he felt like it. Actually, he only called himself an "influencer" because it sounded better than "slacker" or "professional son". He actually made a good living from his parents' money, which he spent at parties, shopping and traveling.

"So, what do you think of my cute new hat? I found it at this very cool market here in Ankara. It goes well with the necklace, doesn't it?" There were fewer likes on the picture than usual. Comments instead. Critical comments. Why he suddenly has such a beard. Johannes grabbed his chin. He had no beard, he had no beard growth at all. And he had carefully retouched the picture before posting it on Instagram. There had been no beard. But still: the photo above the caption clearly showed a beard…

He would have to deal with it later. Johannes had a full schedule. Working out at a gym, which surprisingly enough actually wanted to pay him, a visit to a Turkish bath and cocktails and dinner at a trendy rooftop bar in the evening. Even though Johannes was a hedonist, he was usually well organized and punctual. But at the gym, his schedule started to slip. He trained harder and longer than usual. He felt full of energy. And the traditional Turkish bath and hammam were fantastic. He met super interesting people there. Surprisingly, in the two weeks he had been traveling around Turkey, he had picked up more Turkish than he thought he would. He struck up conversations with people and they got on with each other using their hands and feet. Actually, he should have been up on the roof terrace, styled and with a gin and tonic in his hand, when he left the Turkish bath with a real Turkish stallion. The two of them had shagged like Johannes had never shagged before in his life. Johannes' hair was still oily from the scalp massage. He was sweating. His stallion asked him if they wanted to have another cup of tea and a shisha. They did. And then Johannes was fucked again in the stallion's apartment!

"as-salāmu ʿalaikum, brothers! Today will be a great day. I'm going on a tour of the insider tips in Ankara with my brother Hakan today. But now it's time to pray. salla Allahu 'alaihi wa sallam."

There was a hail of question marks as comments. Friends asked whether he had gone mad. But he also received positive feedback. Because of his style. Because of his faith. These comments were mostly in Turkish or Arabic. Both languages that Johannes (or Yahya, as he called himself here) understood more poorly than well. But he recognized praise in every language!

Hakan and Yahya had a great day. In public, they were the typical machos, but Hakan knew the places in Ankara where there was good, hard sex. Yahya sucked a minister's cock in the station toilet. And got 200 US dollars for an obviously good performance. Enough money for a good evening in the hammam and a good shisha afterwards.

The apartment that Hakan and Yahya shared was small and stuffy. The housing shortage in Ankara was no different to anywhere else in Turkey. But thanks to their small extra income, they at least had three rooms. Pure luxury for two people.

For Yahya, Instagram and other social media were actually just full of sin and Western decadence. But of course they were important media for receiving news from his brothers. His own account existed. Nothing more. He followed a handful of fellow believers who posted frequently, but he didn't really have any followers himself. He still had an old account from his school days. His name was still Johannes. But he hadn't looked in there for years.

Working at the bazaar as a porter was hard and exhausting. But the bazaar was full of niches where you could earn money with services that his sheikh shouldn't know about. Although Hakan thought he had shagged the sheikh before. But Yahya didn't really believe that. But he didn't really care… The main thing was that he and Hakan had enough money and fun. They prayed for that. Not necessarily five times a day. But about ten times a week. If they sucked more cock, they prayed more often. And Yahya sometimes had to pray very often. He was grateful that he didn't stand out too much with his hairy body and bushy beard. But the blond hair was exotic. And many customers were willing to pay a lot for sex with a blond Muslim.

Yahya and Hakan were minor celebrities in the bazaar. Firstly, because they were oil wrestlers on their way to competing against each other for the title of national champion. On the other hand, because they were only simple porters. But they knew every corner, every trader and always knew everything. "Ask Yahya or Hakan!" was a common saying if you wanted to know anything. Or if you wanted a special service. But they didn't talk about details in the bazaar.

Pics made by @ki-kink

[solar-wing]

⚣ 5+1: TikTok Trends 🤳🏽

⚣🤳🏽 A/N → I kept seeing all these couple trends on TikTok and it made me think of how Jason would react to these very same trends with his boyfriend...so I wrote it. tee hee WARNINGS: established relationship | social media trends | relationship goals | fluff/comfort | jason's had enough |

⚣🤳🏽 Summary → Five times Y/N did a social media trend/prank on Jason and the one time the vigilante finally got his boyfriend back.

⚣🤳🏽 Words → 3.7K

REBLOGS & replies are greatly appreciated, please! 💛

⚣ ENJOY 🤳🏽

Social media is an interesting thing with a variety of uses. You could use it to connect with old friends from high school and college, remembering the good ole days. It could be a place to connect with other people in specific communities so individuals could find those they related to and shared similar views and interests with. More than ever, it could be used to spread activism and political messages.

For Y/N L/N, it was a place for him to display his loving and chaotic relationship with his boyfriend Jason Todd.

They both had very different relationships with social media.

Y/N was a whirlwind of hashtags and filters, a living embodiment of the digital age. His phone was an extension of his hand, scrolling through endless videos and GRWMs where they were always running late for whatever they were getting ready for.

The boy took his college studies seriously, but the thought never not crossed his mind that he could become a full-time content creator if he wanted to. Ask any of his friends or especially his boyfriend, the dude was a walking meme who kept hundreds to thousands of reaction pictures and videos on his phone which is something he successfully managed to get his boyfriend addicted to as well.

No seriously, it had gotten so bad that Bruce had to reach out to Y/N to see if he could get Jason to stop or at least delete the photos from his phone. Apparently, in their family group chat, his boyfriend had taken to sending some very targeted and specific images.

It was fine until Bruce said something about Jason being reckless or something and risking lives, and his boyfriend responded with some interesting images and a very petty caption.

Jason: this u?

It was safe to say Bruce was less than amused, though apparently everyone else found it hilarious. But, sadly Y/N had to inform the billionaire that he wouldn’t be able to get his boyfriend to stop even if he tried and that he was also a victim of this new ordeal.

Bruce was confused until Y/N showed him a picture Jason sent him after Y/N refused to come cuddle him because he was studying for a midterm.

Jason: get ur ass in here now or else...respectfully

This was the exact fun and chaotic energy Y/N wanted to share with the world on social media and TikTok. But, Jason had a different relationship with it than his boyfriend.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, Jason was a firm believer in a simpler existence, preferring face-to-face conversations over likes and retweets. He possessed a refreshing aversion to the constant buzz of notifications and the pressure to document every meal or outing.

His only exception was Twitter, where he could voice his unhinged and questionable thoughts freely without raising suspicion or judgment because it was…well, it was Twitter. 

However, that did not stop Y/N from using his poor and innocent lover in his little TikTok exploits when he wanted to.

The first one was something innocent, at least in his eyes. He and Jason were in their shared apartment near Y/N’s campus. They were lying together on the couch, with Y/N parallel to the piece of furniture while Jason sat up properly with his boyfriend’s legs over him.

He was silently reading a book while Y/N pretended to scroll through social media, fidgeting now and then when Jason would accidentally tickle his feet while unconsciously rubbing his feet. Then, the sneaky little man would pull up an audio from TikTok of a man’s voice, talking as if they were on a Facetime call.

At first, Jason didn’t think anything of it when he heard the ring from his boyfriend’s phone and he knows that he frequently calls his parents or friends. Besides, Jason knows almost everyone that Y/N knows so it definitely wasn’t out of the ordinary.

So why the fuck did he not recognize that voice that was speaking on the other end of Y/N’s phone? More than ever, why was it male?!

The second he heard the random male voice ask his boyfriend why he was smiling like that, the phone was snatched out of his hand and Jason was prepared to threaten extreme bodily harm to whoever was on the other side of that phone.

So imagine his confusion when was looking back at himself.

When he noticed the recording button at the bottom, he looked toward his boyfriend who was trying his best to hold in his laughs and was doing a terrible job. Y/N made sure to snatch his phone back though so Jason couldn’t delete the footage.

Jason allowed it though despite his annoyance, seeing Y/N happy and laughing always trumped over any negative feelings he was experiencing. However, he did give his boyfriend a nice gentle lesson about what happens when he plays with the vigilante’s jealous side.

It ‘twas not gentle though, not one bit.

And Y/N was a little fucker who never learned his lesson. Proud of it too.

The second time wasn’t even a week later after he’d seen a new trend going around the clock app that he just knew he wouldn’t be able to resist.

“Might be a little bit controversial but get ready with me while I give you my reasons on why cheating on your significant other is okay in certain scenarios.”

In under 5 seconds, the bathroom door shot open after the apartment sounded like a large predator had come running through it. Judging by the very unamused look Y/N was receiving, it may have been just that.

Y/N had to do his best not to laugh (or moan) at the image on his phone’s screen of a hulking, pissed-off Jason standing over him as he watched his skincare in silence. He knew his followers were going to get a kick out of this, probably detailing the filthiest things their horny little minds could cook up in his comment section like the little horny bastards they were.

Though, Y/N would be no better.

Jason still didn’t say anything, continuing to stare down at him like an angry parent who’d just been embarrassed in church by their child.

“Um, can I help you?” Y/N asked, desperately holding back the smile pulling at the corner of his lips.

Jason’s dark hair fell over his forehead, his white streak hanging lazily between as his eyes narrowed down at his smaller boyfriend, his large, intimidating arms crossed over his chest. Y/N had to take a large breath to calm down the fluttering in his stomach.

Why did his boyfriend have to be so hot? The world was not fair.

When Jason continued to not say anything, just staring silently at his lover, Y/N decided to finish his skincare in silence while checking to make sure his video was still recording.

When about five minutes passed and neither of the boys said anything, the taller and larger male started to become slightly confused. Why wasn’t Y/N saying anything? He wasn’t crazy, knowing exactly what he heard until a lightbulb went over his head and he realized what was going on.

Once Y/N finished patting his face with sunscreen, he looked up to his boyfriend to see him with a now slightly less peeved expression and more of a smug, amused look.

“What?”

“You think you’re funny, don’t you?”

“I think I’m quite hilarious actually.”

Jason didn’t say another word before turning on his heel, slowly walking out of the bathroom back towards the kitchen with that damn slutty walk of his. Seriously, why was the universe so unfair to Y/N? Then again, he definitely wasn’t complaining.

But, just because Jason realized what was going on didn’t mean he was going to just let the harmless prank go so easily. Y/N would be reminded once again how petty his boyfriend could be in the worst ways possible.

There really should be a hotline or emergency number for guys whose boyfriends decide to tease and edge them for over an hour. These crimes should not go unchecked!

Anyways…Y/N still didn’t learn his lesson. Third time’s a charm.

By this time, Jason had become well aware that Y/N would not stop using him in his little videos and pranks, so he figured if you can’t beat em, join em. He got his own TikTok account and only followed his boyfriend while also doing his best to keep up with whatever trends were going around, especially with couples so he could stay one step ahead.

This proved very useful, as when the ‘Water’ song by Tyla became a trend all over TikTok, Jason was more than aware of what his boyfriend was trying to do when he noticed from the corner of his eyes him recording him, pretending like he was just watching the videos.

Ah ah ah, gonna have to try harder than that, babe. Jason didn’t even budge like he was going to look, not like he would’ve either way.

But, he was NOT prepared to come home one day to find his boyfriend with his tripod set up, starting the countdown timer to record a video. The second the video started recording and Jason realized what song was playing, he didn’t waste a second before running and tackling Y/N out of the camera view before he could even hit the first beat.

He didn’t care if he fell for that one, those moves were for Jason’s eyes only. Something else the vigilante was going to have to remind his boyfriend about.

But, at least when Y/N looked at the footage, he realized he finally had something to post for that trend where people ran and tackled their significant others to that Barbie Girl remix. He’d always wanted to do that trend but hadn’t met Jason yet, so he was a bit too single to do it.

The fourth time was something also a little bit simple, less of a prank and more of Y/N just being a little shit that went looking for trouble.

When Jason was once again in the kitchen cooking, with his usual tank-top and jogger combo, Y/N thought it a perfect opportunity for him to get some revenge on his boyfriend since the gargantuan male always found it funny to slap Y/N on his butt hard as shit. Vengeance was needed.

So, when Jason wasn’t looking, Y/N walked into the kitchen positioning his phone in another spot so it could see the entire action, knowing if he tried to be sneaky, the vigilante would still catch on to him and turn around. He walked up behind him and gave his boyfriend a little hug as usual and a kiss on his back, something the towering male pretended not to be giddy at.

However, his sweet, tender moment was interrupted when he felt a medium-palm land on his ass with a precision aim, leaving a tingling sting behind.

“Payback!” Y/N decreed, already turning around and running for their shared room.

When he went back and looked at the footage later, he had to admit, the view of Jason turning around slowly as Y/N scurried away was very amusing. Especially considering he layered the video with the Wii Sports fencing music as his mammoth-sized man stalked after him like a predator cornering its prey.

His vengeance did not last long.

By this time, Jason had become somewhat of a regular presence on Y/N’s TikTok account, and all of his followers wanted more content with the two of them together.

So, after a long time coming, Y/N had managed to successfully convince Jason to do a video with him on camera. They decided to do the Alphabet challenge, something Y/N thought he’d have an easy win at.

He was not prepared for his boyfriend's extensive vocabulary. “Are you ready to start, honey?” Y/N started sneakily, thinking his boyfriend wouldn’t catch it.

“Bet you thought you were slick, huh?” Jason replied with his usual smug look.

“Can you be any less smug?” Y/N said with a playful eye roll.

“Don’t act like you don’t like it.”

At that point, it was almost like they weren’t even doing a challenge, but rather doing their usual relationship banter back and forth that just happened to be getting recorded. The longer it went on, the more chaotic it became, both boyfriends pulling the absolute wildest sentences they could think of out of their mouths to throw the other ones off.

“Suck my ass.”

“Turn around”

He’d also underestimated Jason’s lack of shame and vulgarness.

“Explain how you get a body like that?”

“From fucking whiny little pretty boys like you.”

Oh.

Yeah, he should’ve thought this one through a little more.

They’d managed to go through the whole alphabet at least three times, going from bantering back and forth to Y/N reciting lines from movies he could both think of, to Jason reciting lines from some of his favorite books. The smaller man at some point figured he could start using lines from pop culture and trends to throw his colossal boyfriend off. However, he was absolutely not prepared for him to quote the Rachel voicemail, word for word, knowing how much that whole message always made him weak.

“This is for Rachel you big, fat, white, nasty-smelling fat BITCH.”

Why did he have to put so much emphasis on the ‘bitch’ part? He threw in the towel there and let Jason have it, swearing victory on their next face-off.

Now, Y/N didn’t think it would go any farther than that. He figured he would keep making videos pranking Jason and that now and then, the vigilante would begrudgingly join in.

Oh, he was wrooong…

Frankly, Y/N should have known Jason was playing a prank on him the second he called him by his actual name instead of one of his pet names. The vigilante always got upset at him when he used Jason’s actual name instead of babe, baby, Jaybirdie, love, or even just simple Jay.

So, when Jason was not only calling him by his name but refusing to touch and or kiss him at all. Y/N absolutely should have figured something was up.

When Jason got over his initial awkwardness of physical touch in their relationship, that meant became a touch-clingy animal. Whether a hug, hand holding, cuddling, or even simple finger grazes, he needed them all. And kissing, if Y/N ever even dared leave their bedroom, let alone their apartment without giving his giant teddy bear of a boyfriend a kiss, he basically committed the ultimate sin.

So, imagine his surprise when he wakes up and leans over to give his Jaybirdie his kiss, and the big lug rolls over to the other side of the bed before his lips can even get close. Never mind the fact that he woke up and Jason was not cuddling him, hugging, or even just touching him for the matter.

But, he figured Jason was just out of it, discombobulated after waking up or something, and needed a moment. Then, when he was getting ready for his classes and making breakfast, Jason came out and Y/N plated his food for him while grabbing some juice from the fridge.

“Thanks, Y/N.”

Immediate strike two.

Y/N immediately turned around to his lover who was slowly eating his food, rather than inhaling it like he usually does which is why Y/N always has to make extra because the man is still hungry after the first plate. He gave him a weird look and just shrugged it off like he was hearing things, continuing to fill up the glass of juice before handing it over to the vigilante.

“Thanks, Y/N.”

There it was again. Okay, so he wasn’t imagining shit.

And, now that he was thinking about it, Jason was acting really weird. He didn’t come in and hug from behind like he does when Y/N is cooking. He hasn’t made one lewd sexual joke all morning. Heck, he’s barely looked towards the smaller male since this morning.

“You’re welcome. Is everything okay?”

Finally, Jason looked up at him, but it was with a straight face instead of his usual small smile or even the smirk that he always seemed to carry.

“Yeah, why?”

“I don’t know, you just seem like you’re upset about something. Did I do something to make you mad?” Y/N asked, suddenly feeling very vulnerable and uncomfortable. He was not used to this behavior from Jason. It was almost like the beginning of their relationship when the vigilante wouldn’t be very guarded against him because he didn’t trust him yet. A feeling he was very happy to forget.

“No, nothing’s wrong. I’m fine. Are you okay?” Jason asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just worried about you, I guess. You seem quiet.”

“I’m good, Y/N. You don’t need to worry about me.” Jason said, going back to scrolling on his phone while eating.

“Oh, okay,” Y/N said softly, looking down at the ground and feeling very out of place all of a sudden.

On the other end, he didn’t realize how much it was KILLING Jason on the inside to keep up this ruse. He was just about ready to fold and call it quits this morning when he turned over and avoided his boyfriend’s kiss.

Now, he felt absolutely disgusted and horrible at how hurt Y/N looked. He planned to wait it out until he got back from his classes, but he knew right at that moment he wasn’t going to be able to make it that long. He underestimated how much seeing his boyfriend upset would affect him.

“Alright, well, I’m gonna head to my class now. Text me if you want to meet up for lunch.”

“Okay,” Jason said, not saying anything else which he could see was visibly confusing Y/N even more.

He knew that Y/N didn’t like to push because of Jason’s boundaries, always rather giving him space than crowding him and trying to force him to tell him what was going on. It did nothing to help alleviate the guilt he was feeling.

When Y/N came over to try and give Jason a hug and goodbye kiss and Jason visibly moved away, the vigilante wanted to kill himself right at that moment at the wounded expression all over the boy’s face, who just moved to grab his bag, keys, and phone and damn near ran for the door. That was a clear strike three for the college student.

Absolute shit Jason felt like.

When he heard the front door open and slam, he immediately jumped up, grabbed his phone, and ran after his boyfriend who was booking it towards the stairs.

“Y/N, wait.”

When he made no moves to slow down, Jason had to pull out the vigilante moves to catch him since he was nearly out the complex door.

“Baby, stop. I was just messing with you,” He said, grabbing his boyfriend and planting kisses all over his face.

“No, that’s not funny. Get off me you jerk,” Y/N said not making any move to push Jason off which the vigilante smiled at.

“I’m sorry, but now you know how it feels,” Jason showed Y/N his phone that had been recording the entire interaction, “Payback,” He declared, clearly mocking the smaller boy.

Y/N rolled his eyes before heading back inside with his boyfriend who showered him with love and kisses for his prank but made fun of him the entire time. And it didn’t stop there.

Jason did scare pranks, couples challenges where they had to answer questions (his favorites were the ones that came with punishments like dunking each other’s head in water or getting hit with a pillow), and more.

It was the reaction memes all over again.

But, there was still one challenge he hadn’t come across yet that Y/N did and was more than ready to do on his boyfriend.

They were currently sitting in the car, spending a day out together since Y/N's load from his classes was light and there weren’t any cases Jason was working on with himself or his family either. They were parked in a parking garage outside a shopping center, having just come back from shopping and grabbing some food inside when Y/N set up the camera.

“Babe, what are you doing?” Jason asked while stuffing his face with the freshly baked pretzel bites they got.

“Saw this new couple challenge on TikTok and wanted to do it,” He said, setting up the phone mount and adjusting it so it had him and Jason in full view.

“So, I saw this new challenge where couples are asking their partners random questions about each other and seeing who knows more about the other. So me and my husband are going to do the same thing and I’m going to start.” Y/N said into the camera.

The moment it came out his mouth, Y/N could see the initial surprise on his face turn into a small smile, but he didn’t say anything or question him, so he kept going. As he did his best to think up random questions to ask Jason, he kept referring to him as his husband, increasing the smile to a shit-eating grin the longer it went.

“Why are you smiling like that?” Y/N asked.

“I’m your husband now?” Jason asked, turning to him with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah, is that a problem?” Y/N asked with his own raised eyebrow.

“Absolutely not,” Jason said, not saying another word as Y/N ended the video. He pulled out his phone as they finished their food and Y/N showed the original challenge that everyone was doing, agreeing with him when he called the guy from the original video a complete idiot.

But, he definitely noticed Jason not being as discreet as he thought he was, immediately noticing Jason’s browser on his phone being pulled up to engagement rings.

Oh boy.

☀️ | Jason Todd/Red Hood | ☀️

☀️ | Masterlists | ☀️

[blueberry-beanie]

Visiting Munich & Die Anstalt

8th October - 10th October 2023

A very, very long story about my first ever visit to Munich to see my favourite satire show Die Anstalt. Features long walks through the city, museum visits, Schloss Nymphenburg and its huge garden and a tale about being in the show's audience and meeting Claus. Many photos included. Bonus anxiety and Deutsche Bahn content. The text was written while I was still in Munich or on my way home.

Saturday, 7th Oct 2023: Packing and Heart Attacks

To say that I've been looking forward to going to Munich doesn't quite cut it. When I was still in school years ago, I used to joke that I'd move to Munich, just because it was so far away. I've actually never visited or even passed by - until today. And now the city feels just a bit more special because of the reason for my visit: I'm going to be in the live audience of one of my favourite satire shows, Die Anstalt. But that will be tomorrow. Before I can tell anything about today, I should probably mention what was going on yesterday, though.

Yesterday I posted a drawing of one of the hosts of Die Anstalt, Claus von Wagner. I was really nervous about it because I thought it's not good enough or maybe I'm really bothering him. On top of that I wrote quite a heartfelt caption and was anxious about that the whole time. Good thing I finished all important tasks before posting, because afterwards I was too nervous about everything: The drawing, the journey, the unknown city and of course going to the show. I barely started packing my bag and didn't eat for the whole day when I suddenly got a notification about a new message.

Needless to say my heart dropped and I actually didn't know what to do and sat down on the carpet. And yes, he shared my story and cheekily attached a little timer until the next show. I temporarily forgot how selecting emotions works and felt everything at once. N and I then later discussed why there was no like on the actual post (there wasn't one the last time either), when suddenly he also liked the post half an hour after he shared the story. I didn't care that this whole thing had only a handful of notes, he liked it and that's all the joy I needed.

Sunday, 8th Oct 2023: First Time In Munich

Unfortunately I had a bit too many emotions and it all got quite late - so it was difficult for me to actually wake up today morning. It definitely got better when I was greeted by Claus' very dorky "go vote" Instagram post. Later I discovered that he deleted yesterday's story in favour of election day. Hm, interesting. But I guess it's valid considering the important and serious topic of today's election in Hessen and Bayern.

The train journey started with buckets of rain, my new cleaned & repaired backpack and actually no problems at all until I got into the actual train to Munich. It turned out that seating reservations being displayed in the train was optional today. So I tried to be a decent person and just let the happy couple sit on my seat and went to find another seemingly unoccupied seat next to some guy. Unfortunately it later turned out to be occupied - so I had to go and get my own reserved seat. The train was very full so the strategy of sitting down somewhere else didn't work out anymore. I had a rather unfortunate conversation with the woman in my seat and felt quite bad afterwards. On the plus side, I had dug out an one hour long talk about childhood books with Claus yesterday and so I had the best time listening to this in the train. He's very nerdy and lovely and it was so entertaining to hear about his childhood adventures, teachers, hometown and about how he reads books occasionally with a Merkel voice to his daughter.

When the train finally arrived in München Hauptbahnhof it was an odd feeling to step outside. Like it has been a long time coming until I would finally arrive here. My first impression of Munich wasn't the best. The train station looked old and was being renovated. I stepped outside to look for the vegan restaurant I had saved in my plans, only to get lost in a rather spooky part of town and stand in front of closed doors. So I decided since it was already almost 2pm that I could go and check into the hostel nearby. That proved no problem and I relaxed for a bit in a rather nice five-bed room with a window into the inner courtyard. Knowing that it's not that easy to find food in Germany on Sundays, I ate some of the food I brought with me and then set out for a walk.

First I went to the old botanical garden, which was quite small, crowded with a group of cyclists and police with dogs and overall not very nice. Then I saw the first interesting building that turned out to be Landgericht München. From there I walked into the direction of the obelisk of king Ludwig I. I had an one-euro-ticket for the Alte Pinakothek, an art museum, so that's where I went. Somehow they are very strict there. No jacket, no hand bag, wear your bracelet and don't dare coming close to the paintings (which are already protected by glass). So I got stopped by a guard at some point, which has never happened to me before. Oops. But on the plus side I saw some cool art, for example the self portrait of Dürer, some cool Dutch portraiture, Manet, a little bit of Caspar David Friedrich (though Hamburg has a much bigger collection) and even the old friend Canaletto, whose paintings are always so recognisable, was there. Also they had quite some stuff by Rubens, Delacroix and even a few paintings by Van Gogh.

I didn't spend a lot of time there though and started walking into the direction of Odeonsplatz. Partly because there is the garden of the Residenz palace, but also because there has been this huge demonstration on the 4th October where both Max and Claus participated. I thought it would be fun to visit the place that I've seen many photos and videos of. Upon arrival I immediately understood how 35.000 people fit there - it's massive. The gardens nearby were small but beautiful, with a round Diana Temple in the middle. A lovely lady played the violin in there and gave the garden such a peaceful vibe.

Where to go next? I decided to visit the park near the Maximilianeum, where the Bavarian parliament is situated. So I walked past the huge impressive building of the Bayerische Staatskanzlei with it's huge wings of glass. Then I walked past two impressive buildings belonging to the government of Oberbayern and the museum of five continents towards a bridge over the river Isar. Unlike rivers in north Germany this one is very clear, which is probably because its proximity to the mountains the rocky ground.

The Maximilianeum is a big round building just by the river and I felt more and more as if Bavaria is truly its own little country because of all these monumental buildings. The park was very lovely, but I couldn't explore it fully because it was getting late and my feet were starting to protest along with my shoulders. So I turned around to cross the river at the Friedensengel statue and go back into the direction of Odeonsplatz. On my way I passed by more museums and theatres until I arrived at the tiny park behind the Staatskanzlei and crossed the palace garden again.

At the Odeonsplatz I took a turn into the Theatinerstraße. Suddenly there were many people. It's the center of Munich with fancy restaurants, bars and shops. I walked past the famous Frauenkirche and into the direction of Karlsplatz. Looking at all the people eating and drinking outside in the restaurants I realised I had almost no food at the hostel. So I looked for an affordable place where I could get something quickly and ended up eating a bit of noodles with tofu and veggies at the Karlsplatz. From there it was thankfully only a short trip back to the hostel, during which I listened to a voice message from my school friend Christina (the one I visited in Halle two weeks ago) who wished me lots of fun at Die Anstalt tomorrow.

At the hostel I was greeted by the most annoying shower ever (it turns itself off after ten seconds each time) and fell into bed. The other women in the room weren't very talkative and warned me that they'd get up at 4:30am and 6am respectively. Amazing then, I thought, and fell asleep like a stone at around 10pm. That was a good idea, because the night was loud and restless, but I slept through most of it and woke up in the morning refreshed and ready to go.

Monday, 9th Oct 2023: Palaces and Recreation

Today I woke up at around seven and stayed in bed comfortably until my roommates were done with everything. I got myself ready, ate the last of the food I brought with me and headed out to Schloss Nymphenburg via Tram line 17. It was easy to find and the tram took me right to the palace. Now I've seen some cool palaces in Vienna and London, but this one is truly impressive. It's so wide and the road leading up to it has a canal with huge fishes and some ducks. It's a white building with two huge wings, each of them with a clock tower.

Inside it was a bit awkward at first because there weren't many visitors at half past nine on a monday morning, and it felt like there were more security guards than visitors. The very first room is immediately the most breathtaking: a huge hall with the most beautiful ceiling and so many ornaments on the walls. The sense of wonder I felt while looking at all the extravagance was constantly accompanied by uneasiness. The amount of wealth needed to build this exceeds my imagination.

How could anyone live in such a house? How were the people like who lived in such circumstances? How many people had to be exploited to achieve this kind of wealth? I think it's very useful to keep these magnificent places for future generations to enjoy and maybe use for some art and culture but that doesn't mean their existence sits entirely right with me.

The part of the palace that is publicly open is thankfully not as huge as the palace itself. So after a short while I walked out into the gardens. And if the interior was impressive, the accompanying park is what truly made my day. It is so huge that you can forget you are in a city at all. Its size and the forest and field part reminded me a lot of Hampstead Heath in London, but the massive canal with the fountains in the middle is definitely more like the gardens I saw in Vienna, just even bigger.

The fun thing about this park is that it's publicly accessible, so people go on walks in groups or go for a run alone, go birdwatching or take their dog out. If you have a ticket like me though, you are allowed into the smaller buildings in the park. As if the massive main palace wasn't big enough, they also had smaller little summer houses there. The first I visited was inspired by Chinese art and adorned with porcelain tiles.

Then I walked past cascading waterfalls over a bridge to the temple of Apollo, which is set so beautifully at the pond among the trees. Honestly, the whole time I wished I had a horse to ride around in the park since that is clearly what it was meant for. I walked past a beautiful little fountain with a statue of Pan towards the Badenburg. This little house had a huge swimming pool inside that you can look at from a gallery, absolutely insane. I can't imagine how all of this was like when it was still used as it was intended. From there I saw the garden of the little princes with a hut that looks as if it will grow chicken's feet any minute and turn around.

One of the highlights came in the end: The Marstallmuseum with the carriages, sleighs and everything else that belonged to the royal mews, including two taxidermied horses. I've never seen so many carriages of such colossal and eye-wateringly extravagant quality in one place and I'm wondering how anyone would drive around in these at all. The sleighs looked more like pieces of art than vehicles and the saddles and bits were all so ornamented and beautiful. As a horse-girl I'd be scared to ride on one of these. But please send me my fave horsey Püppi for a turn in the park, thank you.

When the visit was over it was already half past twelve and I was starving. So I went back to the center and got lost in the absolute maze of the U-Bahn underneath the central station until I finally found the right one that took me two stations further to a vegan Döner place, where I had some lasagna. A good opportunity to buy some groceries (and getting lost once again, I have a talent) before going back to the hostel because my feet were killing me.

Overall I'm starting to get the appeal of this city. I'm sure there are many beautiful places to visit here. I like it much more than Berlin so far and I think if I stayed longer I'd get to know many more cool areas. Too bad that this doesn't matter much, because Munich is the most expensive German city. It's near impossible to find anything here even if you wanted to. Looking at how adventurous it is to get a place in Berlin or Hamburg already… no. But I'd definitely love to visit more often to get to know the place better. Now I'm resting in the hostel and slowly getting very nervous becaur it's almost Monday evening. The Monday evening of all evenings I've waited for during these last five months. It's time to visit Die Anstalt.

Monday, 9th Oct 2023: Die Anstalt

I didn't get too much rest because at around half past four the levels of anxiety had risen to such amounts that I jumped up and went for a very short and hectic walk. Then it was already time to get myself ready. I hid the three fancy chocolate bars I had brought from my university town in my handbag inside a black piece of fabric. This way nobody would see them when checking my bag. I didn't believe I would have the opportunity to hand out any chocolate to anyone, but I'll be damned not to try. Since I already can't bring cake to the studio. (There is a very old interview with Claus in which he talks about loving all kinds of cake "If there was cake on the table right now I'd be eating it and I wouldn't be talking to you. Where is the cake? Cake!") Then it was time to leave for the U-Bahn line 1. I was so nervous that even hours after everything would hurt from being tensed up. At some point I had to change to Tram line 25 in the direction of Grünwald, where the Bavaria Film Studios are situated. As expected, it's a rather fancy part of town with big houses and neat gardens. When we arrived at the studios, there were some more visitors heading in the same direction and I had a short talk with two people who also didn't quite know where to go. Thankfully the Anstalt team had set up signs with arrows leading us around the entire fenced off area to the very back. There some friendly people greeted us and directed us to the right building - studio six which I already knew the look of from several past episodes.

And we were not alone! Already a crowd had assembled outside the entrance tent. I didn't linger outside, although I saw today's guests, the duo Das Geld liegt auf der Fensterbank, Marie standing there. Instead I went inside to the queue that was very small still. I left my coat at the cloakroom they set up there and now it was time to wait a bit. After a while a big guy with a grey beard, who actually reminded me of someone I've seen at Die Anstalt, humorously asked us who was here for the first time and explained to leave all jackets here because it's warm inside and to use the restrooms now because there are none in the studio. Then he said, "Alright, let me check if Max and Claus are ready and then we can start." Shortly after we had a security check and were let inside.

The studio looked smaller and bigger than on TV at the same time. There were some chairs, but they were all reserved for special guests, as was the 2nd row behind us. So the two couples who queued next to me sat on both of my sides. The woman to my left quickly started a conversation with me about the show and her daughter who studies something like graphic 3D design and about all sorts of things. We figured out that she and her husband had been watching the show for many years and she was surprised I only started this year - and still seemed to know about all the lore. She even remembered the interview of Claus when he went hiking in the mountains with some guy - an interview I know exists but could never listen to because it's no longer online. We got excited about the little details on the set with a living room area, a court room and - of course! - a whiteboard hidden in the left corner. The reserved seats were filled in the last moment by late arrivals and by people from the back - and then it all started.

The following part I translated, because I wrote it down the same evening in German:

Claus was the first to enter the stage before everything started. He appeared to greet us and to raise our mood a bit. He did... not look too amazing - and that was on purpose. Today he was, as the woman next to me said later, a slimy AfD-politician in a bad suit and with a horrible hair style. But he was there and it was really him. It felt surreal to suddenly see him talking and gesturing, making jokes just in front of me. The same voice, the same smile. I was fascinated by the very fact he was suddenly at the same place as me and cursed the TV-cameras that sometimes obscured our view.

He started asking about who came from Munich and who ("that's the more interesting question!") came from the furthest place. Someone actually travelled all the way from Schleswig-Holstein and they got well-deserved applause. Then he started retelling the old joke about Munich being too clean and the Rats visiting the P1 instead. And the story about the parcel shop he already told at the demonstration. Apparently the joke ended with "Please nobody tell him about Deutsche Bahn, or they will want to overthrow the country." Suddenly Max appeared to a lot of applause - because he wore a Greek philosopher costume with a ridiculous wig and beard today and made us guess what it meant. Correct - it was an allegory for Democracy. He also retold his joke from the Demonstration about why not housing refugees in the palaces and private jets of the rich.

They were telling us about how the show would go. There would be two cuts ("Then we have a bit more time to change. We used to be live-live before the pandemic and only had one minute. That was a battle backstage, believe me. And since some of us are already a bit older...", Claus said, leaning on Max and grinning.) Claus also urged us to turn off our phones, not just mute them "but really truly turning them off". Of course I did that, too. And the people in front of the court practiced to get up when the judge would arrive and were praised for their services. In the end they started to introduce the guests. Das Geld liegt auf der Fensterbank, Marie (a duo "The money is on the windowsill, Marie") who had a long dialogue what annoyed him about her (so she can do it more often in the future). They also introduced Judith Richter ("We didn't just invite her because of her name!" Richter meaning judge in German) and Matthias Renger, who was there for the first time. At some point later Max said something about Claus' dance moves being horrible. Of course the dancer in question had to demonstrate a few moves, which was hillarious.

Then they prepared to start filming the episode. Everyone settled in the living room set and Claus held this stereotypical slate for all the cameras ("The director makes me do that every time and it never works out so well... That's unsettling to have all these cameras on me at once") and talked to the director . And then the scene started. Claus played the right wing AfD-politician Maximilian Krah, an absolute asshole. A disgusting guy who keeps hitting on everyone around him and lounges on the sofa like he owns the entire country. And drinks champagne. And hits Max straight into the eye. I really flinched, because the loud hitting sound effect and the sudden motion surprised me. Also that's not something you would ever expect from Claus.

Both of them are great actors. Neither of them read their text from the screens or had a problem remembering something. Claus was being brilliantly horrible in his role. I don't think I've ever seen him act like a complete villain in this way, it was unsettling. During the scene at the court he constantly kept making suggestive comments to the judge and it was sometimes difficult to look at all of this. Please stop talking man, who are you, this is all horrible and I didn't think I'd have to hear such words from your mouth!

Then he played the overtired Robert Habeck, first falling asleep on the sofa and then kneeling on the carpet with toy bricks. Did someone conceptualise this episode just so I'm alternating between staring, laughing and not being able to look at all of this? In the end they even had a whiteboard scene (of which I sadly didn't see much bc of the damn camera being in my way). There were two breaks indeed for poor Max to change his costume. He played Merz in one of the court scenes and it's so funny how he can resemble him and imitate all of his mannerisms and the voice so well. In the longer break they showed an excerpt from 2016 in which the AfD was a rather unpleasant and murderous baby in its crib. In the end they called on the audience to sign an online petition about making the Federal Institutional Court review a legal ban of the AfD. And then the episode was already over: "Das war die Anstalt!"

Claus immediately tried messing up his horrible hairstyle as if he really didn't want to resemble that despicable AfD-politician in the slightest. But that wasn't the end of the story. First they bowed and had to come out two more times because we didn't stop clapping and cheering. And then a few apprehensive minutes passed. Would they come out once more? And there they were, both of them. And Max even walked straight up to us with a determined face. He was looking for friends and family in the second row behind us. He did not care much for anyone else, and it appeared he was somehow looking for his daughter? This is how I got to see Max up close, but not talk to him. Therefore I couldn't give him the chocolate. But over there, on the stage, there was Claus. And I knew I had to go there right now, otherwise he may disappear and I won't sleep in peace for the next few months. So I parted with my seat neighbours and shyly went up to the stage. At first he was talking to a woman and then it was time for him to join the others for a group photo on the sofa. That was a whole show by itself. He sat on the backrest and firstly made funny and happy faces, then tried being serious and in the end attempted his most seductive look. That wasn't enough, because he leaned forward too much at some point that he slipped down onto the seat behind the others. Everyone started laughing as he had to get back up on his feet again. Sometimes he's really like a little kid. Some of the visitors were actually taking photos with their phones and then disappeared. So after the photo most of the audience had already gone.

But as the photo opportunity was over, Claus got up and walked to the left of the stage towards the backstage exit. I was scared that he would disappear in front of my eyes. But a woman came to the rescue and asked him for a photo. I just stood nearby and listened to the conversation about the show and about the AfD. They were discussing whether the courts could really be filled with right-wing judges and they also talked about the ban of NPD not working out years ago.

It was fascinating to listen to this, because of how knowledgeable he is and how he considers several view points in his arguments. About some things he admitted not knowing enough and needing to read about it first. He is a little waterfall, but so smart and thoughtful and also attentive to what the other person says. I was content to watch the conversation unfold in front of me and took in all the little details with his whole behaviour, intonation and gestures all being just as I know them from watching way too many videos. The biggest difference was how he looked like: He seemed smaller, more fragile and very tired. And still he was engaged in the conversation even more than this woman, despite looking like he needed a whole bar of chocolate and at least three days of sleep.

Then the producer made an announcement and asked all of us to be quiet because Max had to repeat a sentence which he somehow didn't say entirely correctly during the show. The three of us stood there together and Claus told us conspirationally "Ah yes, Herr Uthoff forgot his text again... happens all the time. And now this is particularly tricky because he has to repeat it with everyone looking at him." Max confidently repeated the short passage and Claus resumed his conversation with that woman. At some point I also chipped in, despite being really nervous about it. I said something about how satire shows seemingly unite to save our democracy at the moment with the ZDF Magazin Royale just having released two episodes about right wing extremists at the Frankfurt police.

It was really odd to suddenly have him looking me straight into the eyes. What do you mean he sees me and hears me and replies to what I said? Suddenly grammar and vocabulary were very abstract concepts. I have a general difficulty with looking into people's eyes, it is usually very challenging for me, but I really wanted to try. I knew how lucky I was to get to talk to him at all. Eventually the woman left and an older couple approached. The woman asked for a photo, but I offered to take a picture with both of them together with Claus which they gladly accepted and were really happy about it. They did not stay to talk for long and suddenly they also disappeared.

Now it was my turn to say something. I was very glad to have a reason at least. "Excuse me, may I also bother you for a few seconds? I brought something for you if that is ok." He had already kind of turned to go but agreed, "Oh, yes sure." So I got all three chocolate bars from my handbag and gave them to him. He thanked me and I remarked somehow that these are greetings from Sachsen. He was happy that there was some representation from Sachsen and assured me it is still valid, although I'm not actually from there. Then it dawned on him that all three bars are probably not for him and asked to whom else to give them. I said he can decide himself how he wants to distribute them. In response he cheekily hid two of the chocolates behind his back and joked that these will be for him only. I laughed and said that my friend (it was N!) had suggested to give all three of them to him, and he liked that idea very much. During the whole conversation he kept on shuffling them in his hands, a bit as if they were playing cards. Then he said more seriously that they will make up the main stash of sweets in the writers' room when conceptualising the next episode. I told him that I would have brought cake instead of chocolate if that was possible. The reaction to this statement was priceless. In this short moment I could see confusion about why suddenly cake is mentioned, then recognition that yes, it's something he likes indeed and again confusion about whether and how I could know this. He stammered something about "Ah yes, cake... yes, yes indeed", before he told me that Max apparently often brings all sorts of things to the writers room "but sadly not cake". Poor man, I would have brought an entire baking sheet of cake for him.

I asked him afterwards if I may have a photo together and he immediately agreed. So I reached for my phone and realised it was still turned off! "Oh no, sorry! I listened to what you said and turned off my phone!" He laughed and pretended to be incredulous, "Someone listens to what I say?" I don't know what hit me, but I managed to look him in the eyes and reply in the same joking manner "Yes, of course! I always listen to what you say." "And now we have to wait for three long minutes until it finally turns on again," he quipped with a smirk. Some guy who had joined us in the meantime, saw his opportunity and said "Ah well, then I could quickly ask you something in the meantime!" Claus agreed and they started a conversation about whether forbidding the AfD is really the solution to the problem or rather suppressing the causes or making it worse. In the meantime my phone had turned on again and I just listened to their conversation.

Suddenly a woman called Claus in an impatient tone. Fair enough, around us the technicians and helpers were already taking away chairs and diassembling the equipment. Claus shouted back, "Sorry, sorry! We are still talking. It's my fault, I have been talking way too much again!" The conversation somehow shifted to his (right now nonexistent) solo tours and he said that he is in fact planning to do one. I immediately chipped in, "Oh really? I would love you to go on a solo tour, please!" He said that he actually likes being on the theatre stage much more than "down here" but he hasn't managed to write a program because of family, health and because he writes eight shows for Die Anstalt each year ("And I really write a lot for them!"). I reassured him that a solo tour would be amazing and that I would definitely come to see him. He thanked me and remembered that actually many people have said the same and he really plans on making it happen "before 2025".

The guy wanted to to take his leave and Claus already wanted to say bye, too ("Otherwise I will collapse soon"). But I stood there with wide eyes and my phone and panicked a bit and shyly started "Oh, and the-?" And he remembered about the photo, "Ah yes, of course." That guy offered to take the photo but I said no thanks, I'll manage. And then joked a bit about "at least, if my hands aren't shaking too much", which was true, I was really a bit shaky. But Claus immediately replied "Oh no, it's alright. My hands have been shaky earlier, too." I managed to take a photo and thanked him profusely, also for liking my post. I didn't specify which post, but he understood right away and realisation hit him: "Ohhh, so that was you with the drawing?" "Yes, that's me who has recently been bothering you with drawings on Instagram." "Thank you so much for the drawing. It's great! I wish I could draw, too!" And then it was really time for him to go and we said goodbye. I turned around and realised, that I was pretty much the only crazy person left in the studio and quickly went outside to fetch my coat.

On my way back to the hostel I was still so full of adrenaline and my hands were still shaking. Everything was too much for me and I could not calm down until late at night at around 2am. Not only did I witness the show live, but I also had the huge luck to have met Claus. That I got to look him in the eyes and talk to him is more than I expected. And he even got the chocolate! Psst! I don't mind, you can eat all three of them. I won't tell, I promise. I am a bit worried and guilty about keeping him for so long and hope that the poor guy could get a lot of rest and cake and chocolate to recover. He really looked very tired, despite giving his everything for the show and for everyone who came to talk to him afterwards. I wish that I could have given him a big hug, but we are not at an EE concert where you can receive the prescribed eight hugs a day. That has never been a realistical wish anyway, and I know that very well. And it doesn't matter, because I got so much more than I dared to hope for and I am so thankful and happy.

Tuesday, 10th Oct 2023: A Final Day

Today I realised that I started to really like Munich. Maybe because it reminds me a bit of London. Not necessarily the Biergärten, but the impressive buildings, the wide roads and the wonderful parks. After three days I feel sad to leave this city behind. There are many beautiful things about Munich. In the morning I left around ten and made my way to the Münchener Stadtmuseum. First I got to see the beautiful Marienplatz with so many flowers and beautifully ornamented buildings. Then I got sidetracked a little and ended up at the famous Viktualienmarkt instead. It wasn't overcrowded in the morning and I got to eat an original Bavarian Brezel in the shade of a tree. The Viktualienmarkt has permanent stands with loads of different foods, but I also saw a plant shop and some shops selling souvenirs.

Then it was time to visit the museum. For students the entrance fee was very cheap and for the money you can enter all exhibitions, not just the permanent one. I enjoyed the chronological permanent exhibition, though I feel like the later history was missing, as they stopped with the end of second world war. Then there was an exhibition about displaced people after the war - it was just one room though and I found the one with a similar topic in Bremen much more educational. I made the mistake to go upstairs to the exhibition of puppets. That was eerie as hell and I quickly got out of there. The reason I wanted to visit in the first place was a temporary exhibition about the rise of the NS party and their mechanisms of executing power. A very interesting, but also dark and scary exhibition, especially since right wing parties are on the rise again. Parts of the exhibition also overlapped with what we learned last semester in media history.

After that I was quite happy to go outside into the sunshine again. Today was a very sunny and warm day, a perfect ending of a beautiful journey. First I got a smoothie and a banana at an overcrowded supermarket and then I made my way towards the Eisbachwelle, a permanent wave at a bridge in a huge park. Surfers are riding the wave with many spectators watching them. I kept walking to a place called the Monopteros that reminded me of the Apollo temple I'd seen yesterday. From there I had a wonderful view over the park and the city. I discovered afterwards that the Chinese tower was actually in a beer garden (of course) and slowly started to make my way back.

I passed by the house of arts with a certain golden bar and the P1 club that is famous, although not necessarily with a good name to it, just for being posh.

I went back through the palace garden and passed by the Odeonsplatz one last time. Originally I'd wanted to go and get some food right away but then I thought that maybe looking for some clothing without holes would also be a good idea (I didn't find anything, though). The veggie and rice bowl I got was really good, although a bit sour. And now it was already time to get my backpack that I left at the hostel and board the train. As I'm writing this in the train I'm happy because Claus has liked my comment under his promo post for the show airing on TV this evening. Maybe I'll still get to watch it when I come home... Thanks Munich for such a wonderful time, hopefully I'll be back soon!

[ebdanon]

looove the tattoo allie, and congrats on coming out I missed it too <3

I'm back with a lore update, as my mother in law managed to have a whole monologue in front of me to tell me how she's a God-fearing woman, she prays morning and night, and the lord always protects her and makes her wishes come true and how she goes to church for every holiday and whatever else she does.

I'm not religious because it doesn't make sense to me. Also I prayed a lot as a kid to make the suffering for me ans my loved ones a lot smaller and it never really worked, so that really did me in. But her monologues did remind me of my father (who's quite religious) telling me that true Christians don't brag about what they do with their religion and I almost burst out laughing when my mother in law was telling me all that stuff when I remember that. As a kid I learned that your relationship between the God you believe in is between you and that God and it's bad if you brag about it. Although I'm pretty sure every religion teaches people to be humble.

Anyway, the second time she did a monologue, she managed to jump into talking about her own sister in law (who she thinks is a witch) and started talking shit about her. Now, I've heard a few stories and I know she's not a great woman, but a witch? C'mon, I used to be into eastern philosophy too, like she allegedly is (I'm 100% sure my mother in law went snooping in her home when she had a chance years ago and found a book on chakras and stuff like that which made her think so) but that's a far cry from any sort of witchcraft. She talked about the kind of photos her sister in law shares on social media and how it's inappropriate for her to wear revealing clothes when you're so old and overweight, and make suggestive poses. I think the woman is a little extra from what I saw (kinda reminds me of what millennial teenagers used to post on Facebook (like me) every time they went out) but I don't really care about the details of the photos or captions.

Anyway, my mother in law expressed the idea about my being a witch to her daughter a couple of weeks ago. My mother in law has a bit of a drinking problem, as I've mentioned. Two weeks ago she slipped and fell into the oven and broke the oven door. I've seen her slip and fall a couple of other times and it's always when she's piss drunk. My husband and I were out of the house when this happened, we came back about 30mins after it happened. She went to a doctor the next day, she had a mild concussion but no serious injuries. She went around the house with holy water spraying some in every room to make the house safer. Sure, whatever, I don't care. But she was barely standing she was so dizzy and started an argument with everyone when we all suggested we take her to a doctor immediately. Nope, she had to vacuum up the glass first, wash her hair in case there was more glass, call a few more people to chat, and did the holy water thing before going to bed.

She has explained her fall as "some supernatural force pushing and tripping her". When we came back after being out, you could smell the alcohol on her breath so I'm sure that was the reason. When she told her daughter (my sister in law that then tells my husband and I all the shitty things their parents say about us lmao) she insinuated that it was my fault because something is off about me. My mother in law also complained to my husband that her phone has been slow since the fall (the phone also fell), but she told her daughter that her phone is surely possessed by the devil. She also told everyone that it "feels heavier since then" which makes 0 sense but okay sure.

I know she's bothered by my very existence, it's been apparent for years but she never directly says it to me. Years ago my husband decided to bleach his hair for fun, we were together for about a year back then, and years later he told me that his mom thought I made him bleach it. Because of that I'm sure she thinks I made him get a tattoo too. Sometimes when she's screaming about whatever is bothering her at the moment, she'll slip and tell my husband how I'm fucking him over, but always when I'm not in the room. Jokes on her, she's so loud, I can still hear her even though I have hearing issues.

Okay let me end this here, next time I'm gonna tell you the crap I've heard her say about me and my family when she's on her various screaming rants (parents, grandparents, sister, cousins, aunts, etc, yes she has a whole list of people from my family that bother her lmao)

Have an amazing weekend <3

religious people who have to rub it in your face ab how religious or whatever they are (mainly christians) are so annoying. i grew up catholic so i ran into a lot of those people and your mother in law sounds like a nightmare. also the way you got blamed for his choices is crazy like doesnt bro know how to think for himself mom 😭

also…… ngl if you gotta complain about everyone else then i think its fair to look at the common denominator but your mother in law doesnt seem like the type for self reflection despite that being pretty important in christianity (unless im wrong about other denominations bc im speaking from catholic experience)

also thank ya darling :) i think it turned out really nice im very pleased with it. have a good weekend lovely 🫶

[photography-in-london-27]

Week 5 - Lightning Fields (Presentation Reflection)

Lightning Fields, Hiroshi Sugimoto

Before reading the caption, I defined the subject as ‘White, jagged flashes of lightning, frozen in time, contrasted against a black background. The subject bolt in #225 appears less exposed than that of #146. $146 appears distant and shot with a deeper depth [AR1] of field compared to the more exposed, whiter and brighter #128 or #225. Angled in seemingly random directions, the most exposed flashes have smaller pieces jutting out of the main section – reminiscent of branches on an old tree trunk. After reading the caption, I realized the flashes were without a camera, making some of the technical analysis above less applicable in the literal sense. While I definitely picked up the ‘treeing effect,’ it seems that these technical choices were more random and less intentional than I might have thought.

Content wise, these photographs is a tribute to the pioneering electricity research of Benjamin Franklin and Michael Faraday. Sugimoto created these images using calotype photography, discovered by William Fox Talbot. From a technical perspective, Sugimoto seems to be paying homage to the early photographic process, creating a technical commentary on the ‘lightbulb moments,’ that forever changed human technological capabilities.

I believe that the scientific context unites these photos in a theme about nature.  Explained in-depth during our presentation, each charge imprinted a unique design similar to lightning. Lightning is an unpredictable force of nature, striking any location at any time. The next question to analyse the thematic elements is, ‘Would the theme about nature be evident be a series without context?’ Without the historical context, the nature element does not come through by solely relying on the name. Combining the knowledge that scientific innovations from very different time periods enabled this randomness, Shimoto is almost adding a temporal element to this series by celebrating moments in past during their present moment. Without an evident, intentional sequence, Shimoto seems to suggest, ‘Capture every lightning bolt idea, because once it dissipates, it may never return.’ 

While the electricity being framed is not lightning in the literal sense, ‘lightning’ as a title seems to be used as a proxy for the type of electricity discovered by the scientists Shimoto is paying tribute to. In Sugimoto’s own words, “the idea of observing the effects of electrical discharges on photographic dry plates reflects my desire to re-create the major discoveries of these scientific pioneers in the darkroom and verify them with my own eyes.” While the photographs are numbered, they follow a random sequence. There is no evident sequence related to shapes, as each bolt has its own shape. Since all of the photos are black and white, there is no evident sequence related to colour. Same goes for lines. Ultimately, the random sequencing reflects the unpredictability of nature further enforcing the theme of nature.

Slides link - https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1G2ylPZaa1_pJcl4bovJFEnclB5Dc8spR5uzEj4UoMwA/edit?usp=sharing

[recentlyheardcom]

“Health is not a body size. Health is not the number you see on the scale,” the Food Network star saidValerie Bertinelli/Instagram Valerie BertinelliValerie Bertinelli is feeling beautiful after finding her old “fat clothes" in the back of her closet.On Monday, the Food Network star, 63, posted a video on Instagram after finding the outfit she wore in her very first “before photo" as a Jenny Craig spokesperson.“Health is not a body size. Health is not the number you see on the scale. Your worth as a human being isn’t dictated by your body,” she said while standing in the mirror while wearing a pink button-up shirt and jeans.“I thought I was fat the last time I wore these clothes,” she said. "I’ve never felt more beautiful, more at peace, more mentally and emotionally stable than I do today and I’m wearing my ‘fat clothes.’ That’s f—ed up.”Bertinelli added in the caption that she found the old clothes in the back of her closet and although she doesn’t know why she kept them, she’s glad she did.“I continue to work on not suppressing or numbing my feelings with food or alcohol and here I am. I am enough,” she wrote. “Our bodies do not define who we are as human being’s. A number on the scale does not define how much love your heart can hold. 🩷Please love yourself, every single part of you. YOU ARE ENOUGH 🤍✌🏻”Related: Valerie Bertinelli Says She's Going Down a Size in Jeans After Doing Dry JanuaryBack in June, Bertinelli posted an Instagram video sharing how much healthier she feels after making some lifestyle changes and prioritizing her mental health in recent months.“So it’s getting about time for me to probably go down another jean size. I can’t believe it. And this all started in November, the month I got free,” she said in the clip, referring to her divorce from Tom Vitale. “And I started really concentrating on my emotional and mental health. And when I started doing that, I started caring about the nutrition that I put in my body more.”“The harsh words and abuse can never be unheard and taken back, but here’s the thing, I wouldn’t have taken them in and believed them in the first place, if I hadn’t been saying harsh and unkind words to myself first,” she added in the caption.At the time, Bertinelli explained that she’s started to care more about how she treats herself and the foods she puts in her body after a year of therapy, journaling, meditation and more.She continued, “Caring not so much about calories but what are in those calories? Am I getting enough fiber? Am I getting enough protein? Am I getting enough vitamins, naturally, in my food? Am I drinking too much? What makes me feel better?  What makes my body feel better? Keyword, FEEL better.”Dominik Bindl/Getty Valerie BertinelliNever miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE's free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from juicy celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.Bertinelli also noted that she’s “cut back exponentially” on alcohol, which has helped losing weight, which she said she was ���carrying for protection.”“I don’t need protection any longer. I’m really starting to love myself. Deep down,” she ended. “All this to say I have a lot to talk about and will continue to do so. Thank you for coming on this journey with me. Please be kind to yourselves. You deserve it. We all do. We are enough. 🤍✌🏻”In February, the Hot in Cleveland star posted a TikTok video sharing the "side effect" she experienced after giving up alcohol for the month for Dry January."So, here's a nice little side effect of Dry January. These jeans that I'm wearing were so tight a few months ago that I couldn't comfortably button them. Now, they're so loose it's time for me to go down a size," she said with a laugh. "Yeah, I like that side effect."Under the video, one follower commented that they've also been feeling a lot healthier after doing not only Dry January but Dry October as well."Oooh, sober October. I like it," Bertinelli responded. "I may also do dry July.

💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼"For more People news, make sure to sign up for our newsletter!Read the original article on People.

[kerloned]

Long island medium daughter dies

Long island medium daughter dies update#

Oftentimes, when a soul comes forward, it will apologize for their actions when they were alive. It's a feeling or energy, and Caputo said she'll often physically experience how they died, such as shortness of breath or pain in a certain part of her body.Ĭaputo said she's never had an angry spirit before she began doing readings, she asked God, "if this is my soul's journey," then she only wants to channel positive information that will help someone. When she's in contact with the dead, Caputo said, she doesn't see or hear them. “How in the world would I know that?" Caputo said. More: WOW To Do List: See the Ben Allen Band and moreĬaputo pointed to one mother who had died from COVID that she was channeling. During a reading with the woman's daughter, the deceased conveyed to Caputo that a nurse came into her room and the woman told the nurse how her daughter had just called, and they had a conversation and discussed a favorite song. “I have a greater respect for the frontline workers and I always had such respect," she said. Yet in readings, she found that people who died were not alone because nurses and other health-care workers were by their side, Caputo said. 11, 2001, many in the past year didn't know what the final moments were like for family members and friends who died from COVID-19. “I find it interesting how, in the same way, people died that day and didn’t know what happened to their loved ones," she said. And with the pandemic, people are struggling with the unexpected loss people they cherish, Caputo said. They got married last May, shortly after buying their first home together.She began her spiritual readings about the time 9/11 happened nearly 20 years ago. The couple got engaged in 2019 after two years of dating. They were also holding a scone to match a slice of pizza – a nod to her husband’s profession – to announce the news. Victoria and Michael revealed she was pregnant in a summer social media post featuring sweet moments of the pair in black t-shirts with pizza on them. We could have a mini on hand!” PREGNANCY RECOVERY “And all along, I thought she looked like me until this ultrasound. She told her followers: “In about 5 weeks my baby monkey will be here! Look at those lips 😍 # babyM # 34 weeks One photo shows the beauty posing completely nude with only a towel to cover her modest bust, while also cradling her growing swelling.įrom another angle, the restaurant owner can be seen standing behind the mother of one child while holding her pregnant belly.Įarlier that week, The Long Island Medium star shared her ultrasound imagerevealed the arrival of the baby was only a few weeks away. Last month, parents-to-be shared stunning photos from maternity shoot. In a follow-up post, she asked her followers to weigh in on when they thought she would give birth. She included the caption, “My baby is having a baby” along with a pink heart and smiley face with a heart emoji.Ī pregnant Victorian also shared a post before her daughter’s due date, capturing the baby moving in her mother’s womb with the caption: “I think she wants out.” “She should be here soon, very soon,” said Theresa excitedly. She hurriedly looked at the baby, saying that the baby would move every time she heard her grandmother’s voice. Theresa also pointed out that the baby’s date of birth could be the angelic day of February 22, hoping that she will be born at 2:22 pm that day. In the video, the TLC star scanned the camera around the room showing the 27-year-old lying on the bed, with her husband sitting on the chair next to her.īoth managed to stay calm during the process, with Mike admitting he was playing a game on his phone to relax his nerves. The mum went into labor for the first time on Tuesday as Theresa captured the exciting moment while waiting for her granddaughter to be born.

Long island medium daughter dies update#

The Victorian TV star’s mother Theresa, 55, gave her followers a previous live update on Instagram from Victoria’s hospital room. 5 Parents announced for the first time that they expect to return in August Credit: Instagram / Victoria Caputo

[unchained-hound-dog]

Could you please do AustinxReader with a bit of an age gap have a blowout fight stemming from reader’s insecurity and Austin is frustrated but ends in fluff?

Here you go!!

p.s my requests are still open!

-

Since your relationship with Austin became public a month ago, you'd recieved a very mixed review. Previous to it being public knowledge that you were dating him, you thought his fans would be happy for him but you weren't naive to the fact a lot of people would have things to say, negative things, your age gap being one of them.

Austin had been known to date women a few years younger than him, and when you met him at a mutual friends party, the idea of him being 5 years older than you did make you question the situation. You were 25, Austin was 30 and although you liked to think of yourself as independent, you had only ever dated guys your own age.

However being with Austin never made you feel as though there was an age difference, you were still old enough to be seen as a mature woman so what did it matter? Well according to a million instagram account, it mattered a lot.

why is Austin with another girl who was probably in diapers when he started filming for Elvis?!

this new "relationship" just screams gold digger

imma take a nap, wake me in a week when this shit show is over

The comments went on and on, making you feel physically sick that people could be so rude to someone they'd never met. You'd mentioned it to Austin before, after the first comment you saw you spoke to him about it and he simply explained that people would be jealous but if neither of you saw an issue with it then why does it matter?

You agreed, you loved Austin, but you'd never been in the public eye before and so when you start posting pictures on instagram and people are commenting horrific things, Austin suggests you turn your comments off, or only allow certain people to comment on your things.

But that doesn't stop people sharing photos of you walking around with Austin, or on your own, and ridiculing everything you do.

'Baby I'm home' Austin's voice calls through your small appartment, you didn't live together, but you'd given him a key to your place as it was closer to a lot of the meetings and sets he was currently going back and forth to.

'In the kitchen' you called out, placing your phone down on the side and turning to pull the meal you'd cooked out of the oven.

'mm something smells good' his voice was low as he set his phone and keys on the kitchen island, pressing a kiss to your cheek before moving to the fridge to get a drink.

'it's not much' you shrugged, you both moved around each other to get to what you needed.

'when was this taken?' Austin's looking at your phone which you'd left unlocked on a forum dedicated to posting hate about you.

'Oh not sure just came across it' you went to snatch the phone from the side but Austin had already picked it up and was scrolling.

'You really lookin' at all this shit? What have I told you? Why does it matter what everyone else thinks about OUR relationship?' his eyebrows are slightly raised as he looks at you for an answer.

'I just-'

'No Y/N, you're gunna make yourself sick looking at this crap all the time'

You both left the conversation there, neither one of you wanting to argue over it so you both sat and ate your food in front of the TV. When you were both done you'd set your plates on the coffee table and were on either ends of the couch. Austin was watching whatever was on the screen whilst you were texting your friend.

girl, have you seen this?! why can't people leave you both alone!'

You clicked on the link she'd sent you and it led to an article, the title was something about Austin dating a younger woman but the picture made a lump form in your throat. The picture was a terrible angle of you and Austin looked moody, the caption below it saying 'trouble in paradise'. You weren't sure why you were crying but the tears began to fall and you suddenly let out a sob, catching Austin's attention.

'Y/N? What's happened?' you shake your head and lock your phone, facing towards the TV in an attempt to move on

'Hey, talk to me' Austin was concerned, but when you informed him your upset was due to another article, he switched.

'How many god damn times are we gunna have this arguement? Are you so insecure in this relationship?' he was shouting now and you looked at him in annoyance.

'Yes Austin! Yes I am insecure, when everyone is telling me I'm too young to be dating you, too ugly, not good enough. Yes, it makes me feel like crap'

'What the hell do you want me to do about it?!' you're both yelling now, the moment getting heated.

'I don't know!' you scream at him, your body retracts into the couch as you sob and wipe your tears.

'Baby' Austin's voice is calmer now, he moves to sit beside you and pulls you into his chest.

'I'm sorry, this is just all so much so quick, I'm not used to it yet' your voice cracked and Austin's heart broke, he held you tight and kissed your head.

'I'm sorry baby, I should have been more understanding, why don't we leave our phones for tonight and just relax?'

'Not gunna make them go away'

Austin sighs at this, knowing you're right but having no idea how to handle the situation. Whilst you're taking a shower that evening he's posting a picture of you from the set of Elvis, it was before people knew about either of you, you were sitting in his chair in hair and makeup grinning up at him as he told a cheesy joke that got you smiling, it was also his lock screen. He captions the picture;

my one true love

[elysianslove]

Hiii! I loved your Iwa fluff headcanons and was wondering if you could do one with Suna? thanks <3

yesyesyes i would love to!!! iwaizumi’s version. 

↬ when suna was younger, he really, really wanted a pet bunny. like he really, really loved bunnies, and would beg his parents day and night for one. he even made a really badly edited powerpoint on bunnies and why he deserves one (aside the editing, it was a very persuasive powerpoint. they filmed him while he presented it and the video haunts him to this day). his parents were relentless, though, and didn’t get him his bunny. instead, though, they surprised him with a cat. a cat isn’t as high maintenance since they’re very independent creatures, but can also be very fun. they figured any pet would make him happy. they were wrong. suna hated her so much and would never interact with her. like to the point where he nicknamed her “bitch” and now she mainly answers to that instead of her name. but all that only worked against him, and the cat just kept getting more and more attached to him.

↬ suna now loves her so much, and she’s just as attached to him. like he would kill for her, honestly. it’s his cat >>> everyone else. he has an album on his phone dedicated to pictures and videos of only her, and her bed is in his room because she always ends up sleeping there anyways. he realized later on when he grew older that a cat was the perfect animal for him, and he’s not sure if it’s a parents thing and they really knew or they were just winging it and hoping for the best, but she’s his favorite ever and he would risk it all for her.

↬ his favorite sleeping position with her would be when he’s casually laying on his back scrolling through his phone and she comes and crawls along him to lay on his chest. the warmth he feels within his chest like he just gets so giddy.

↬ suna is crazy obsessed with serial killer documentaries, horror movies, unsolved mysteries, everything like that. his favorite pastime is watching and reading these things, but honestly, it’s not even a like, “wow that’s so cool,” and more of a, “suna what is wrong with you???” type of thing, because he’s the type to have like insidious 2 in the background as he does his homework or gets ready or something. it’s kind of scary how unfazed he is with things like that.

↬ but! yeah he’s extremely brave when it comes to horror movies, borderline unhinged, but his biggest fear? his phobia, if you will? spiders. insects in general, really. he will scream like a sixth grader that’s yet to hit puberty if he sees a spider crawling near him. once he was peeing in the miya twins’ bathroom and some kind of cockroach crawling on the wall and nearly fainted. thank god he was already peeing because he would’ve pissed his pants either way. it’s so embarrassing for him, so he’s so good at hiding it. he just freezes impossibly when he notices an insect and doesn’t take his eye off of it until someone else notices it and kills it. there was this instance when they were at a training camp and he kept feeling as if something was crawling on him, but assumed it was just really hot and his skin was tingling from that. something was crawling on him, though, and it was not just really hot. Top 10 Most Traumatic Moments of his life, especially because atsumu’s first instinct was to record the whole thing.

↬ suna is extremely, and i mean extremely, touch-starved. physical touch has always made him uncomfortable for a reason unknown to him, so he never really accepted hugs or kisses from his family, and would feel so icky if he was roped into a group hug b by his teammates. so when he met you, he thought you’d be so against the fact that he’s uncomfortable with it, because who would want a partner that doesn’t wanna touch or be touched? turns out he actually craves it, and needs it badly, he just needed to take his own time and pace approaching it, and with how understanding you were, he doubted he could ever figure this out without you. he just took it slow, you know? but the more he touched you — held your hand, pinched your cheek, rested his head on your shoulder, pecked your lips for a few seconds longer than last time — the more he wanted you.

↬ when suna became comfortable with the thought and idea that yeah, he actually craves physical touch so damn bad, he wouldn’t stop touching you every second he could. he became insanely clingy, no matter if you were in public or alone. just always has a hand on you at all times. when he’s alone with you, he’s always trying to cuddle with you. you wanna sit and chill on your phone and not really talk? sure, just come do it with your head on his chest. you wanna watch a movie and munch on some popcorn and possibly share a drink? of course he’d love to! just come sit between his legs with your popcorn on your lap so he can steal some and also offer you some sips from the drink. you don’t wanna hug him after a game cause he’s too sweaty? that’s too bad, he wasn’t asking for permission. so you see, suna is a clingy mf. like latches onto you like a koala clingy <3

↬ suna’s music taste is very diverse. his favorite genre is alternative and rock, like the neighborhood, arctic monkeys, etc, but he also loves, loves loves glitchcore music, but also will un-ironically listen to kpop, and rap, and hannah montana’s old music too because why not. he just doesn’t care. if a song is good, it’s good. so what if it caters to a bunch of 12 year olds and not him? who decides that anyways?

↬ suna is very good at hair. like so good. as his sister started to get older, and her hair grew longer, she would sometimes ask him to do it for her before school. at first he was terrible at it, except maybe ponytails cause his hair was long enough at some point to push back into a ponytail, but everything else like parting her hair for pigtails or doing braids or a bun… he was just awful. so, in response, he’d just practice. he’d watch videos as he’s doing his little sister’s hair and be so focused, with his tongue sticking out a little and his eyes squinting as he tries to get it accurate. eventually, he becomes a master at it! you find this out when one day, as you’re just over at his house, his sister comes into his room with a hair tie and a brush and he just carries her up onto his lap and braids her hair as he chats with you and it was so endearing and so impressive and you genuinely believe that was the moment you realized you were in love with him.

↬ he offers to do your hair for you all the time now!! especially if you’ve just showered and are too lazy to brush it and tie it in some way, so he does it for you. he’s actually so, very gentle when brushing your hair, you don’t even feel a thing. if anything, it makes you really sleepy.

↬ when he joined the national team and started to become more and more of a public figure, he’d send you really explicit fan art of him and other teammates he was shipped with just to piss you off. if he was feeling really bold, he’d send you smut written about him. he says he wants to make you jealous. he just wants to provoke you in every way possible, really. one time someone made an edit plot twisting you and him to him and like atsumu so he downloaded video star and made such a bad edit of you and him and posted it on his twitter and instagram and it went viral. like it was one of those edits of just pictures flipping and hearts flashing and lights spasming all over the screen it was so bad it made you cry with laughter. that was his way of telling the world, no one but this person for me, right here <3

↬ i think he’d be very good at doing chores and cleaning and all that, despite how lazy he is. i just think it’s a habit kind of thing, where he grew up doing laundry and making his bed and cleaning his room and washing the dishes that he genuinely doesn’t mind doing it cause it’s natural for him. and he’s learnt to enjoy it.

↬ suna’s favorite color was deep, deep purple at some point, but now it’s between green and black.

↬ he’s caught up with all seasons of keeping up with the kardashians. please don’t ask him why, he doesn’t even know.

↬ once when you were out with him you just gave him a rock that was on the floor and he’s kept that rock with him ever since. like it’s in the drawer next to his bed and sometimes he just takes it out and holds it in his hand while he’s doing homework or scrolling through his phone.

↬ he spams you a lot. like at any time time of the day he just sends you a million videos of him doing the most mundane things; he sends you a video of him eating some almonds and at the end it’s just him going, “i’s good,” or him lip-syncing a song you sent him to listen to, or him trying to do eyeliner because why not. or maybe it’s pictures of him and it’s always ridiculous: him exaggerating him thinking, and then captioning it “thinking,” or just a picture of him on the roof with a peace sign and a pretty smile, or a close up photo of his face saying, “miss u.”

↬ he also spams you with memes all the time. and there’s no set type, it’s just all kinds. really corny memes and really cursed memes, wholesome memes and also memes that bully you. it’s all about the versatility.

↬ suna loves to sleep, he really does, but before meeting you, the only place where he could properly fall into a deep sleep was his bed. after meeting you, anywhere where you were next to him was the perfect place to sleep. if he had your presence near him he could sleep, it didn’t matter, especially if he was resting on your lap or shoulder or gripping onto your hand or resting his legs on your lap. he just wants you close to him, you know? like he feels so safe and comfortable when you’re around, it kind of scares him if he’s honest.

[beauvibaby]

become a family – a.beauvillier

You hadn’t meant to keep Gia a secret from your childhood friend, really honestly, you two had just lost touch, and by the time you found out you were pregnant and her dad left, it felt wrong to reach out simply to tell him that. So you didn’t.

But when you found out you were relocating to New York, Long Island specifically. You knew you had no choice but to reach out, it only made sense, it felt wrong not too. “Mommy.” Gia whined, “play!” She demanded with a tilt of her chubby face, motioning to the Minnie Mouse tea set she had sprawled across your tiny unpacked apartment floor. “Just a second baby.” You assured her with a soft laugh, you read the message you had typed out, you let out a deep breath and pushed send before moving to join your daughter on the floor, forcing the thought of checking your phone to the back of your mind.

“Hey, Tito. I know we haven’t spoken in forever, but I’m moving to Long Island, with my daughter, I thought it’d be nice to meet up sometime. Hope all is well!”

When he got the notification from Instagram, both of you long having lost each other’s phone numbers, his heart stopped briefly, he scrambled to unlock his phone, Mat eyeing him suspiciously. Tito read the message at least five times before what you said had processed with him, he clicked on your profile, he hadn’t really paid much attention to your posts, and they were so far and few between, he scrolled to the first one that was baby related.

A picture of your sonogram in front of your crossed legs, your ready to pop stomach on display, “just me and you against the world baby girl.”

Tito’s heart clenched in his chest, guilt, curiosity and sadness running through him, he scrolled to the next, a simple black and white photo of Gia when she was born, the caption only being her date of birth. The next wasn’t for another six months or so, the two of you in a small apartment back home. “Gia and mommy’s first place!”

He went through them all quickly, up to the most recent, from just before you sent the message, you with Gia on your hip, the two and a half year old hanging on tightly to you with a giggle as you grinned at the camera, your keys hanging off your finger. “New beginnings…”

“Tito? Dude, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Mat finally spoke up, Tito nodded, “you remember, Y/N? Right?” He questioned his friend, Mat nodded, curiously. “She’s here.” Tito whispered, Mat raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean she's here?” “She moved to Long Island.”

***

You truthfully had forgotten to check your phone that night, you ended up putting Gia to bed late and you simply passed out right after. So when you woke, the memories came flooding back, you rushed to grab your phone, seeing a response on your Instagram.

“Long Island? A kid??? We definitely need to meet up, I’m dying to know everything. Missed you.”

Your heart returned to normal at his response, thankful that he was accepting and not shutting you out.

“Missed you too, you became a big shot! I’m taking Gia to a park down the street from my apartment today, I’ll send you the address if you want to come.”

That’s how you ended up here, pushing your daughter in the swing as she shrieked excitedly. Your laughter echoed through the remotely empty park, your attention solely on her as she had a nervous look on her face as the swing went a little higher, you slowed her down and she resumed her happy shouts. “Y/N.” Tito called, your head snapping in his direction, his hands shoved into his jacket pockets as he looked over at you with a grin, his eyes flickering between you and Gia. “Hi.” You grinned right back at him as he walked over to you, he wrapped his arms around you in a hug as he reached you, Gia slowly coming to a stop in the child swing. “Oh god, it’s been too long.” You spoke, voice muffled by his jacket. “Definitely.” He agreed easily, pulling away as Gia began to fuss. You pulled her out of the swing and she clung to you, eyeing him suspiciously, she was always particularly wary about men. “Hello.” He spoke softly to her, giving her a soft wave. She smiled weakly, hiding her face in your neck. “Say hi, Gia.” You whispered to her, she lifted her head, looking over at Tito who was still smiling fondly at her, “hi, Gia.” She spoke, sending you both into a fit of laughter. “We’re working on it.” You assured him through your giggles, your daughter dramatically hiding again. “That’s ok.” Tito assured you, noticing all the ways Gia resembled you.

“Lunch?” She whispered to you, wiggling to get down, “yes, let’s go.” You led her over to the covered portion of the park, where you had left your things, Tito followed behind you, holding in a chuckle at the way Gia happily ran towards the table, swinging her arms for exaggeration. You sat her up on the bench, sitting beside her and Tito sat across from the two of you, watching you silently, “how have you been?” You started speaking, feeling your skin warm up under his gaze. “Good, yeah, I’ve been good.” He answered, “what about you? Been busy I see.” He joked, Gia glanced up at him as she took a bite of her peanut butter and jelly sandwich. “Yeah, she keeps me on my toes, in the best possible way.” You smiled at your daughter, she happily minded her own business, clueless to half the stuff you two spoke about. You told him about her dad, only using his name so she wouldn’t be confused, already learning that she didn’t have the two parents that some of her other friends have.

Jesse, you never expected him to work out long term, but you never expected to get pregnant either. Long story short, you told him and you gave him the option to not be involved, but he had to be committed to being a co parent or nothing at all. He chose the latter, and never looked back.

“That’s-“ “it’s good, I think, he wouldn’t have been able to stay committed.” You cut Tito off, not needing the apology speech again. He nodded, moving past the subject, a large grin started etching across his face as Gia tugged on your sleeve. You leaned down and smiled as she whispered to the best of her ability, “share?” She asked you, Tito cocked his head to the side as you nodded and leaned away. Gia grabbed one of her fruit gummies and held it out to Tito. “Share.” She mumbled cutely, smiling shyly with her head tilted down a little, just like you do. Tito gasped dramatically, placing a hand over his heart, “thank you!” He took it from her and popped it in his mouth, earning a genuine laugh from her that made his heart sore. Already so in love with your daughter and wanting nothing but the best for both of you. She tried to offer him more but he sweetly told her no, and that she should eat her lunch, she listened and continued snacking away. “Has she been to a game?” Tito asked you with a wicked grin, “no, actually, I haven’t been to a game since I had her.” You admitted, cringing as he gaped at you, muttering in French under his breath.

“I’m getting you tickets.” He spoke, already pulling his phone out, “what? No, Tito.” You rushed feeling guilty,

“Yes.” He stuck his tongue out at you, typing away on his phone before asking for your phone number to send you the info. You gave it to him, knowing he would just be stubborn anyways. “Thank you. Really. She’ll have a blast, I’m sure.” You spoke as you opened your phone to look at what he sent you, “Anthony!” You scolded, Gia jumping in her spot next to you, “Y/N!” He mimicked, giggling at your daughter who glared at him. “That’s too much, those seats are–“ “Those seats are necessary.” He cut you off, “it’s final. No take backs.” He teased, much like he did when the two of you were younger. You sighed, shaking your head with a small smile, “fine, you better win, for her.” You told him, motioning to Gia who was getting sleepier by the second. “I should take her home.” You added as she yawned, her head resting against her arms on the table. He smiled at her eyes fluttering shut, “yeah, but I’ll see you at the game, right?” He raised an eyebrow as he stood up, you nodded, moving to give him a hug goodbye.

You watched with a bursting heart as he pushed some of Gia’s hair back, leaving a feathery light kiss to her full cheek, “bye, sweetheart.” He whispered, she whined, nestling further into herself. You wiped at your eyes once he was no longer facing you, the sight before you simply pulling on your heart strings.

***

You adjusted the jerseys on yours and Gia’s bodies, the both of you wearing jeans with them. She smiled at the excitement on your face, “do you remember mommy’s friend we met yesterday, Tito?” You questioned her as you walked hand in hand to the elevator, she looked up at you curiously, “we’re going to see him do his job, you get to watch them play hockey.” You explained to her, she simply smiled, all oblivious to what you meant, but she got excited because you were excited. “Teo.” She spoke, an attempt at his name, not very good but adorable nonetheless. You whipped your phone out, squatting down in the elevator, you started recording her, “who are we going to see?” You asked her, she shook her head happily, her pigtails bouncing around, “teo!” She said proudly, clapping for herself. “Tito, good job.” You praised her before ending the clip, you sent it to him with a thumbs up before continuing to acknowledge Gia’s babbling.

He responded quicker than you thought he would, “I guess I’ve grown on her.” He sent a heart afterwards, presumably putting his phone away for the night to prepare for the game.

Gia whined as she clung to you, terrified of all the people surrounding the both of you, “it’s alright honey.” You shushed her as you slowly inched forward in the line, she nodded against you, arms wrapped around your neck and legs trying to wrap around your waist. You thanked the person as they scanned your tickets, letting you two begin the journey to your overpriced glass side seats. You were relieved to see they had already begun warm ups so she would be distracted by them, once she adjusted to her surroundings you knew she’d be fine. “Look baby, see how fast they go.” You held her up, pointing out to the ice, she instantly became mesmerized by them whizzing by. You sighed in relief as you tried to spot the oh so familiar number 18. The two of you wearing jerseys with his name, something you knew he would get a charge out of, as long as you could remember, you would wear his number to his games. And now would be no different.

You spotted him at the same time he spotted you, a bright smile coming over his face as he flicked a puck up and caught it in his hand, skating over to you. He waved at you and Gia and she grinned, recognizing him and suddenly no longer being shy as she tapped on the glass with an amused smile. “Hi!” She shrieked, earning a laugh from him. He motioned the puck in his hand and you nodded, easily catching it as he tossed it over, handing it to Gia who stared at it in amazement, “good luck.” You mouthed, fist bumping the glass like you did as a teenager, he grinned and did the same before skating off, some of his friends nudging him and asking questions as you settled into your seat for the night.

Gia enjoyed the game and the loud sounds more than you thought she would, she adjusted quickly to the slamming of the boards, if anything, you think that may have been her favorite part.

Once the game was over, you were directed by Tito to tell one of the arena employees your name and they’d bring you down to see him. Much to your surprise, it worked, Gia was antsy to be let down to run around, and thankfully the person leading you through the huge building was a sweet young girl, probably your age, who was just absolutely loving Gia. “Just go to the right, and stop at the double doors.” She explained to you as the elevator came to a stop, “thank you.” You smiled, ushering Gia onto the concrete floor, her laughter echoing as she had some room to run around and burn up some of her energy. You were speed walking behind her just to keep up with her little legs, “baby, hang on!” You called, sighing as you rushed to grab her, just in time too as the doors opened and a couple of guys walked out, thankfully Tito was one of them. “Hey.” You breathed out, Gia looked over, “teo!” She ran over to him, putting her arms up, he looked at you for approval, “oh, of course.” You gave him a look, as if you wouldn’t trust him with your daughter. He easily lifted her up, smile widening when she wrapped her little arms around him. A stark difference to her greeting yesterday. “You must be, Y/N.” One of them spoke to you as Gia began babbling to Tito who nodded along enthusiastically. “I am.” You responded, shaking his hand, “Mat.” He grinned, you nodded knowingly, “I know, I follow the sport.” You teased him, earning a snicker from Tito as he walked over to you. “Hey.” He mumbled, giving you a one armed hug as Gia refused to leave his hold. You lightly tickled your daughter as she hid in his neck from all the other guys. “You played good.” You assured him, he smiled softly in return before introducing you to some of his teammates, laughing when you became all shy, staying close to him and your daughter. You answered all the questions they threw at you, not noticing Gia was drifting off on Tito’s shoulder until she was already out like a light.

***

It’s been about 6 weeks since that game, the season kicking into full gear, Tito traveling very often but still coming over to see you guys when he wasn’t on the road, and today, he was coming over for the first time in two weeks, and Gia had no idea. The relationship between them was more than you could ever ask for, even yours and Tito’s relationship had changed, it wasn’t even spoken, it just happened, one night as he was leaving after you put Gia down. You leaned up to kiss his cheek but he turned, not knowing what you were doing. You both jumped back, muttering apologies, but you kept your hands on his chest, slowly you inched back together, your lips coming together softly.

Then it became more often, sneaking in kisses here or there, I miss you texts, phone calls. And now, now you were bouncing with excitement just to see him.

Tito knocked on the door with a wide smile, excited to see his two favorite girls, that thought running through his head the whole trip back, in his mind, he wanted to call you his, but he knew he hadn't even spoken to you about what this was.

You rushed over to open the door, Gia only just waking from her nap, “hi.” You whispered immediately being engulfed in his arms, yours going to wrap around his neck. “I missed you.” He admitted into your hair, kissing the side of your head, “I missed you too.” You assured him, leaning away to meet his eyes, something went unspoken between you two as he pulled you in for a kiss. This one was different though, more powerful than the rest had been. You sighed against him, melting into his hold as you kissed him back slowly, not wanting to rush the moment. “Tito.” You went to speak after you pulled back to breathe, “yeah, I know.” He murmured, pecking your lips again before finally stepping all the way inside. “Is she sleeping?” He frowned, wanting to see her, “she’s starting to wake up, I heard her fussing.” You explained, neither of you making any effort to untangle yourselves. “Would you want to go out with me sometime? Like a date.” Tito asked, you nodded instantly, “can’t we just count all the times you’ve stayed over here late as dates?” You teased, instantly making him relax. “Well, then I think it’s fine if I do this, as much as I want.” He joked, kissing you again, squeezing your hips.

“I think so too.” You agreed, pulling away once you heard Gia climbing out of her bed. “Gia, I have a surprise!” You called, hearing her giggle and run down the hall, she saw you and then she saw Tito standing beside you. What neither of you expected was the word about to come out of her mouth, “daddy!” You nearly passed out right there, literally swaying and having to grip Tito for stability. She hugged his legs, looking up at him with a grin. “Tito.” He corrected her gently, lifting her up once you regained your composure. “Hi, sweet girl.” He tickled her sides as he hugged her tightly, her laughter filling the room, you smiled at the sight, hoping that one day this would become a reality.

****

“Rough day?” You questioned Gia as she dramatically huffed and sat at the kitchen counter beside her sister. “Yes.” Gia spoke with a sigh, you held back your laughter, knowing that 1st grade could just be oh so difficult, Tito walked in a moment after with her backpack and lunch box, smiling at you as you held the two month old to your chest. He walked over to the girls, laughing at the bored expression on Gia’s face as she watched her two year old sister munch away on her fruit, “hi princess.” Tito greeted Sadie with a kiss to the head, before making his way over to you, kissing your lips and whispering a hello before taking the baby from you. He smiled as Cade gripped his finger tightly, looking up at his dad with the bright blue eyes that they shared. “Daddy, can we go for ice cream tonight?” Gia pouted at him, using the look she got from you that made him cave immediately. He glanced at you, who nodded, “only because it’s friday.” He pointed an accusing finger at her, watching as her annoyed expression broke into a smile. “Thank you!” She sang happily bounding to her room upstairs. You laughed at the sigh he let out, “Aw, did you have a rough day too, honey?” You teased, resting your head on his chest as he wrapped his free arm around you, Sadie coughing for attention and succeeding as you both looked over to make sure she wasn’t choking. She only smiled, Tito’s smile as she continued to eat her blueberries slowly, you glared lightly at her as she giggled. “I did have a rough day, thanks for asking.” He mused.

“My wife didn’t text me once all day.” He pouted at you, “I’m so sorry, I assumed you would be busy working and all.” You laughed at him, cupping his stubbled jaw, “how ever did you survive?” You asked with fake concern. “I’m not really sure. But I did, and I lived long enough to pick her up from school, I’ve earned my ice cream.” He quipped.

taglist: @boqvistsbabe @tortito @2manytabsopen @heybarzy @barzysreputation @yzas-stuff @iwantahockeyhimbo

[charcubed]

hey char, mind to share your fave stevebucky headcanons? 👀

Oh I LOVE that you asked me this :’)  Thank you!

I honestly have so many if I really think about it because I love them so much and I think about their dynamic so much that I have so many favorite things... but here is what I think of off the top of my head:

• Steve was color blind before the serum, according to canon. I have a headcanon that Bucky used to try to describe colors to him. I wrote a mini fic about that here.

• Bucky was drafted for the war, but didn’t tell Steve. Steve sort of assumed that Bucky enlisted, and Bucky never wanted to correct him. How could he? Steve wanted to enlist so badly, and Bucky didn’t ever feel like he could admit that he didn’t have the same drive to want to ~fight for the country~ like Steve did. He didn’t want to disappoint him and he was afraid Steve would think he was a coward. So Bucky just... never told him that he was forced into war. It was never his choice to fight for the country. If it was up to him, they would’ve stayed home together and stayed safe and never fought at all.

• They were always physically rough with each other, in the sense that they'd wrestle as boys all the time, and Steve loved that Bucky never treated him as fragile. Buck knew he could take it. Even after the serum, they'd still scuffle a bit like kids, finding a bright spot in a war-torn world. They’d be awake in the trenches on lookout, having soft conversations in the night, and shoving each other after one says something stupid or makes a bad joke.

• Steve is bi, and Bucky is gay. Bucky was consciously aware of his feelings for Steve way, way before Steve was aware of his for Bucky. In the 30s, Bucky has a bit of a reputation for ~dating around,~ but not in a rude ladies’ man kind of way but rather his reputation is “Bucky Barnes is a real charmer. He’ll show you a good time and he’s really sweet, but he never pushes your boundaries.” Some women wishes he’d push their boundaries, but he doesn’t. He’s taken so many women out on dates because he never lets it get super serious, since they’re not who he wants and it’s mostly for appearances’ sake, especially since he and Steve live together. He definitely enjoys hanging out with women, and treating them nice, but most of the time his motivation is to try to set up double dates–half because Steve deserves to find a great girl to date, and half because a double date means Bucky can selfishly do a date activity “with” Steve and not have it mean anything. Meanwhile though, Steve gets jealous as hell and testy about Bucky dating all the time, but he’s oblivious to the fact that it’s because Steve wishes Bucky would be with him instead.

• Their first kiss was when Steve was 16 and Bucky was 17. I’m not necessarily saying that’s when they actually got together, but something significant happened between them at those ages... maybe they kissed because they were drunk, or it was so Steve’s “first kiss” would be someone he knew and it was for “practice.” And then they both never talked about it again, because they’re idiots and were afraid to ~ruin things~ between each other. That’s why Steve says “Rumlow said ‘Bucky’ and all of a sudden I was a 16-year-old kid again, in Brooklyn.” That’s why “seventeen” is one of Bucky’s trigger words as the Winter Soldier. It checks out, because Bucky is a little bit older than Steve.

• Steve doesn’t fully admit the depth of his own feelings for Bucky to himself until he finds out Bucky’s been captured by HYDRA. And then he tears Europe apart to get him back. He’d have done that anyway, obviously, but... the prospect of losing Bucky forever is really what makes him realize how much he can’t handle that concept. Because he’s in love with him.

• After Bucky “dies,” Steve gets more reckless, and that’s part of the reason he put the plane in the ice and didn’t try to survive: he didn’t want to live in a world without Bucky in it. This is supported by canon. And so I headcanon that, after Steve finds out about the Winter Soldier, one day he abruptly realizes that he could’ve died in that plane crash and never known Bucky was alive and brainwashed and suffering. He thought Bucky was dead and he wanted to follow him, and he could’ve left Bucky even more alone in the world without knowing it. When Steve realizes how close he came to leaving Bucky behind like that, he throws up. It horrifies him to think about it.

• They each have a pair of dog tags where one says “Steve Rogers” and one says “Bucky Barnes.” They swapped one tag each, so that they’d have a matching set, because while they couldn’t list each other as “next of kin,” they wanted tangible evidence that would show other people how important they are to each other. So people would know: tell him if something happens to me.

• Their Brooklyn accents come out / get heavier around each other, especially if they’re bitching about things or arguing.

• Bucky is a complete sci-fi and fantasy nerd–which is now confirmed canon, and I love it. In particular, I like to headcanon that he loves to read paperback sci-fi novels, and discount romance novels. He unironically enjoys them, and he leaves them allllll over the place. One of the things they love to do is Bucky will sit around and read while Steve will sit around and draw/paint, and half the time Steve gets distracted sketching Bucky’s facial expression he makes while he’s reading.

• Bucky is also a pop culture gremlin. He will try and often get interested in pretty much anything and everything, without rhyme or reason. In modern day, he and Nat will watch trashy reality TV together–sometimes to make fun of it, sometimes to get invested. Steve thinks they’re insane for that. And sometimes Bucky will like one niche thing but then for very specific reasons he dislikes another similar thing. It makes sense to him, even if Steve doesn’t get it.

• Steve tends to be pickier with the kind of stuff he enjoys. He’s always had Strong Opinions™️ on everything, including and especially art. Put him in a museum and he’ll have a lot of thoughts on all of it. He doesn’t judge things or hate on other people for liking things he doesn’t like at all, but he won’t get hooked on a movie/show quite as easily. The one exception is animation, which he absolutely adores, and he goes on a wild binge of all kinds of animated content for awhile–shows and movies–because the various art styles and uses of the medium to tell crazy stories just fascinates him.

• Easy access to so much music is one of their mutual favorite things about the 21st century. Bucky often gets into individual artists’ entire discographies and becomes a fan, whereas Steve often gets into a handful of specific songs from a wide range of various people. Like... Bucky will often love an entire album, and Steve will often love 2 songs specifically more than others. But even with that, Steve loves collecting vinyl records–both old and new ones.

• Bucky has a fantastic singing voice even though he’s shy about it, and he tends to hum along to music when distracted or working on something else–especially while making something in the kitchen. 

• Bucky likes technology more than Steve; Steve likes physical stuff more than Bucky. Bucky loves to take photos and videos of things all the time, hoarding digital memories in a way that’s precious to him, knowing that they’re “safe” and accessible anywhere. They lost so much of the objects that they loved a century ago, and photos were scarce, but now... there are endless ways to have pictures. When Bucky was recovering in Wakanda and Steve was on the run, Bucky would often text Steve photos–sometimes without captions–to wordlessly share bits of his days with him. He’s got a good eye for photography, except for when he takes the photo equivalent of shitposts to make Steve laugh. Regardless, Steve gets his favorites printed–some of Bucky’s photos, some of his, some of their selfies–so they also always have something tangible to hold onto.

• Bucky calls Steve “sweetheart” sometimes, just to be a little shit–and he means it. It makes Steve turn red every time, without fail, but he secretly doesn’t mind it.

Okay I’ll stop hahaha. Those are the main ones that come to mind for me all the time when I think of them! 

Thank you again for asking :D  This was so fun to write all in one place!

[arhvste]

❝ miya atsumu - @notatsumu ❞

in which your boyfriend has a finsta, he just doesn’t know that you know about it,, until you slip up

an - this is for @4kinor1 because she got married to atsumu today and she’s hot <3

giggling to himself, atsumu let himself fall back on the spacious shared bed with his phone in his hands above his face. a wide smile was spread across his face as he stared at the screen. the luminous light flickered in reflection to his eyes as he failed to tear his eyes away.

to anyone else, it’s would’ve looked like the blonde was just staring at any old instagram feed. you on the other hand, knew exactly what he was staring at and it warmed your heart everytime you caught him on his phone staring at certain content. recently, you had discovered atsumu had a whole finsta account only he allowed himself to follow. how you found it? his username wasn’t exactly complex and considering he only followed 96 people on the social media platform on his main account, it wasn’t a surprise the account name ‘@notatsumu’ had come up in your suggestions.

you didn’t mean to discover he had a whole finsta account littered of and with you photos of you, but you did and the fact was confirmed to you a while ago when atsumu had handed you his phone to search something up, but had forgotten to close out of the account. obviously it caught your eye and it would’ve been weirder to not look; so you did just that. a faint guilt crept up inside of you as you scrolled through the multiple photos your boyfriend had captured and posted for himself to look back on, but it simultaneously filled your heart knowing he thought to do such a thing. to keep a social diary for himself of the thing he loved the most; you.

that was the first and last time you saw the account. you never opened it again because atsumu never left an open opportunity to do so like he did the first time. you already felt fulfilled enough knowing exactly what it was that brought him so much joy whilst looking at his phone. there was a particular glint the setter caught in his eye whenever you noticed him looking at his own account or uploading a thread of new photos to it.

“tsumu!” you called out making him jump. the phone slipped out of his hands and landed flat on his face resulting in a very distressed atsumu. “fuck!” he yelped letting the phone slide off his face and onto the floor as he brought both hands up to cup his own face.

immediately, you rushed over to his side where you replaced his hands with your own, cooing soft apologies and pressing warm kisses over his face. “i forgive ya don’t worry.” he assured you, relishing in the attention you were showering him with.

phone nearly forgotten about on the floor, atsumu brought his hands up to cup your own face as he smiled warmly at you. his whole world right above his head, your eyes providing as the universe with twinkling stars. grabbing for the device on the floor, atsumu held the phone up and shamelessly snapped the sight before him as you laughed. “mugshot.” he muttered as if it would cover his tracks.

you smiled and shook your head. “caption it something nice okay?” your comment just a passing one but atsumu’s eyes widened as he halted. “pardon?” he quirked an eyebrow as you stated at him from below. realising your mistake, you hands flew to your mouth.

“what?” you airily laughed in attempts to brush off your slip up hoping he wouldn’t notice. “caption it? why would i caption it?” his tone curious with traces of panic.

“just in case you wanna post it on your instagram or something.” you cautiously spoke, each sentence risky as if your words were keeping you on thin ice and one wrong move could send you through and into the cold and piercing water.

“my main?” he pressed on unknowingly leaving you an opening. “you have another account other than your main?” you feigned curiosity as atsumu’s frown tugged a little more.

“hm maybe.” he replied turning his phone off and putting it down on the bedside table beside him. catvcube you off guard, atsumu’s hand reached your waist as he suddenly pulled you onto the bed on top of him where he held your hips firmly in place. “but ya knew that already, didn’t ya?” a smirk crept on on his face as you felt your cheeks warm up.

you didn’t know how to reply. should you confess to your knowledge of his account? should you keep feigning ignorance? you weren’t too sure but your boyfriends grip on you told you he was going to get the responses he wanted one way or another. his fingers began moving as you felt the familiar feeling of your boyfriends persistence begin. you squirmed on top of him as he bang tickling your sides.

“admit it, ya knew i had another instagram.” he demanded, smirk still present on his face. your laughs filled the room as atsumu’s heart filled with joy. “n-no!” you continued ignorance as you felt your body begin to ache from the constant distraction of atsumu’s fingers. “liar!” he whined as he showed no mercy.

tears began streaming down your face as your stomach began to hurt. giving in you held your hands up and tried to catch your breath. “o-okay! okay t-tsumu i-i knew!” you sighed in relief as atsumu’s movements came to a halt, an embarrassed smile now taking form on his face.

“it was an accident though, you left it open when you gave me your phone one time and i, well i saw.” you admitted, heat rising to your face once more.

atsumu bit the inside of his cheek as he turned away a little, bashfulness building up. “ya don’t think... it’s weird... do ya?” he queered, eyes averting from your own.

dismissing his insecurity you gasped and shook your head profusely. “no, no, no! tsumu, no it’s not weird! i actually think... it’s kinda cute.” your voice genuine threaded with the thinnest thread of embarrassment yourself. to have someone love you as much as atsumu did, you were bound to get a little flustered sometimes. he was good at doing that.

“ya sure? cause i can delete it if you-“

“-atsumu. i love you. it’s not weird.” you cupped the sides of his face as he stared up at you with adoration. his love grew for you by the second. the lengths he had gone to in attempts to cover his social activity seemed stupid now. there was never a need to hide it from you. this was just his love language and now he felt bad from depriving you of hearing it.

“sorry.” he muttered, calloused hand reaching up to interlock with one of your own resting on his face. you smiled as shook your head. “no, i’m sorry for intruding on your personal things. i should’ve closed it down myself.” you assured him as his eyes twinkled, his love for you forever expanding.

lowering yourself so you were pressed against his chest, you pressed your lips upon atsumu’s warm ones as he melted into your touch. only you had this effect on him. nobody else ever able to compare to the way you made him feel. you were the only one with the key to the cage of butterflies situated inside of him, unlocked whenever you were around him. the feeling of his heart glowing only ever occurred when you were involved. you quite literally made him brighter. his smile wider and crinkles under his eyes more prominent. miya atsumu was hopeless when it came to you.

pulling away, atsumu sighed as he rested a hand against your cheek, thumb lovingly swiping over your cheekbone.

“i love ya.” he confirmed, nothing but genuine and raw love evident in his tone.

“i love you too tsumu.” you replied softly, the same adoration he held for you clear in your own eyes.

you stayed like that just for a few moments, the feeling of natural but solid love blanketing over the two of you as your boyfriend held you tighter in his arms, his whole world exactly where he needed it to be.

“i’d love you even more if you let me be your second follower though.” you spoke up cheekily, a grin creeping up on your face.

and how was atsumu’s supposed to say no when you looked like that?

general taglist → @atsumuwoah @bloody-bella @bbymilkbread @miracleboy420 @doggonudez @tsumue @peteunderoos @tsukkisbean @saturnfarie @dear-kozume @zumisace @boosyboo9206 @totorosleaff @27kei @dai-tsukki-desu @angrylittleriri @dearestmegumi @kuxredere @warakou @iss6s @lovinnoya @sophiashortcake @wompwomphq @waitforitillwritemywayout @webworld @brokeasshoee @sunasbabie @rowley-with-ackerman

ALL CONTENT BELONGS TO @KUROOSKULT ON TUMBLR 2020 PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, CHANGE OR PLAGIARISE

[misora-msby]

scarred love.

rating : mature

word count : 4.3k

themes : angst, slight fluff, implied and mentions of sex

notes : based on vistlip’s CLASSIC OPERA // this is my first work on this blog, i hope you enjoy!

“I don’t think he loves me anymore.”

“No way… That’s not the case, I’m sure!”

“That’s what I want to think but…”

Suna could barely believe as he stood outside the bedroom door, hand barely making contact with the handle. Was that really what you thought? 

“I wonder if it’s normal for couples to fall out of love at this stage.”

“Mm… there’s certainly been couples I’ve known like that. They were in love for years but after they got married they decided it wasn’t the life for them and divorced.”

Suna heard your gasp follow the tinny voice from the phone. He had heard of similar stories before but never thought it would happen to him and you. 

Ever since you had gotten together, he was always subtle in his love. He was never the type to outright say “I love you” in public or to boldly proclaim his love for you on social media. Suna preferred linking pinkies while walking or to post photos of your study dates with simple captions like “another ‘10 minute break’” or “we are going to collapse”. 

Despite this, when you were in the privacy of your apartment, he almost never left your side. It was either his head on your lap, his legs laying over yours on the couch, or you sitting on his lap in some way albeit still being relatively quiet. 

So to think you were getting upset with the little attention he was showing recently had him confused. Wasn’t he always like this?

“But Y/N, I doubt Suna-san’s fallen out of love. Isn’t it just that his new job with EJP Raijin is keeping him busy?” 

“Y-Yeah but… he hasn’t said anything about it. He comes back late and leaves early and it just… It just sucks so much! I don’t know what to do!” you sob and Suna can hear the sound of you blowing your nose and coughing through your tears. 

Taking a step back from the bedroom door, the middle blocker moved to the couch and sat for a moment, head in his hands. He knew love couldn’t be perfect. A perfect relationship without fights or problems was just waiting to crumble from the slightest crack in it. But he wanted to at least prevent you from thinking this way. 

He wanted you to know he did love you. 

Later that night, he crawled into the bed, freshly showered and in his pyjamas - an old thin t-shirt and a pair of boxers. You laid beside him in your own pyjamas - one of his big t-shirts and a pair of shorts. 

“Y/N,” he turned onto his side and called your name, causing you to almost jump while attempting to fall asleep with your swirling thoughts.

“Yes, Rin?” 

“You have a free day tomorrow too, don’t you?”

“Well… yes. Why?”

The bed shifted under his movement to hold himself over you. 

“W-Wait a second! Rin! I’m not prepared or anything- mmf!” 

He pressed his lips to yours, his fox-like eyes shut delicately as he kissed you passionately. Before you knew it, his hands moved to your sides and began to lift the edge of the shirt up, but were quickly pushed down. 

“Rintarou,” you lightly pushed on his chest, “I uh… I’m not wearing any nice underwear… A-And I haven’t shaved. Can I go change and do that?” 

Honestly you were very surprised that he suddenly wanted to do this. Suna was always one to do things out of the blue; your relationship was built on impromptu dates and spontaneous gifts he claimed ‘reminded him of you��, but this really had came out of nowhere. 

You hadn’t been intimate in weeks and you wanted to at least look good for it, but Suna just shook his head. 

“You’re fine like this. I love you however you look.” He leaned back down and began to place kisses along your jaw and neck. 

His kisses were softer than usual, you noted. And his hands weren’t rushing to tear your clothes off like he usually did.

“Rin- ah! Rintarou, why are you doing this all of a sudden?”

“We’re both free tomorrow. Can’t I spend my free day with my girlfriend the way I want to?” he asked, looking up at you through his thin lashes. 

“Still! That gives me more time to go get ready.”

“No,” he shook his head and continued to kiss and bite along your neck and collarbones, leaving his marks of love on your skin, “I want to spend every second that I can with you now that I have the time.”

“Wait a second.”

Suna finally pulled his lips away from your skin, now littered with little marks, “What’s wrong?”

“Since when were you so romantic? It just… Don’t get me wrong, I’m super happy it’s just a little funny…” 

His eyes widened at the sight of tears welling up in your eyes.

“Y/N, are you okay?” he asked, cupping your face in his large rough hands gently. 

“I’m more than okay! No… I don’t know why I’m crying…” you sob softly, rubbing at your eyes. 

Suna chuckled lightly. “Is it because you’re filled with overwhelming love for me?”

“Rintarou!” you whined and hit his chest lightly. “You’re absolutely insufferable!”

“You say that but you were the one who asked me out on our graduation.” 

“...you little shit. I really do love you.” 

“Mm, I thought so. I love you too.” He continued to kiss and strip you.

Unlike your usual nights together which were spent fucking roughly, leaving bodies sore and lightly scarred, tonight was slow and loving albeit passionate as ever. Soft kisses and laughs were exchanged in the dark as Suna made love to you, thrusting slowly while mumbling words of love into your body. 

The next morning, you were woken up by the feeling of a kiss on your forehead. Your eyelids fluttered open and you squinted in the morning light to see Suna sitting on his side of the bed, clad only in boxers. There was also the scent of eggs and toast, and when you looked down, you saw it sitting on a plate between you two.

“I’m no Osamu here. But I think my cooking is still edible,” your boyfriend sighed before flopping down onto the bed beside you and closing his eyes. 

“You actually woke up to cook for me?” you asked, sitting up to look at the sunny-side-ups with broken yolks and the toast that was just a little too toasted for your liking. 

“Surprised myself too,” he yawned before squinting his eyes open, “More like… I wanted to surprise you. And wake you up with a kiss.”

“You’re so cheesy today, aren’t you!”

“I know, I think it’s weird too.”

On that day, you knew he still loved you. And you loved him more than ever before.

But that happiness couldn’t last forever. In the city of Tokyo where sadness and troubles rained down, something was bound to happen. Even the most heavily cemented cracks could once again break under a heavy enough pressure. 

Even if it took a couple of months.

“Rintarou! Welcome home!”

“Mm.”

Your brow furrowed slightly as you noticed his short answer. After shutting your laptop where you were answering some work related emails while waiting for your boyfriend, you made your way over to Suna who was hanging his winter coat by the door.

“Rin, are you alright?”

“Just tired.”

You sighed softly, “You shouldn’t overwork yourself. You need breaks sometimes too, you know?” And reached up to begin massaging his shoulders as you usually did. But he only pushed your hands away quickly, saying, “Not tonight,” before walking further into the apartment.

You bit your lower lip to prevent it from trembling any further while your hands stayed still as if frozen mid air. You were hesitating to tell him what you wanted to say earlier.

“Rintarou… Tomorrow you don’t have scheduled practice, right? I…” you took a deep breath as he turned to face you, eyes dark and heavy-looking. 

“Yeah.”

“I was wondering… Well, I don’t have work tomorrow either so I reserved a place at a nice restaurant for dinner! I think we both need a bit of a break, work’s been so busy and you’re also training so intensely and-”

“No.”

“H- Huh?” you laughed nervously, “What do you mean by ‘no’?”

“It means what it means, I don’t want to go.”

“Rintarou, you can’t just- I can’t- I promise it’s a really nice place! A-And I wanted to spend some time with you…” there was a lump welling up in your throat as you tried not to suddenly pour out your recent feelings towards him. 

The recent frustrations of not being able to spend much time with your boyfriend anymore, the annoyance at the way he would always spend his free time doing self training, the anger towards his schedule which rarely ever allowed you to meet, the sadness of the fact that your shared apartment no longer had the sound of laughter when you two played games or watched silly YouTube videos together...

All that frustration felt like it was just being held up behind that lump in your throat, and to think he would simply dismiss it without a second thought.

“You should’ve asked before you started making plans. I’m going to the gym tomorrow again. We have a match against the Red Falcons in two weeks so I need to become at least a bit stronger,” Suna explained monotonously, as if you should have known that already.

“I- I know but… I thought… it’d be a nice surprise…”

The man sighed and turned to walk towards the bathroom, ready to just shower and go to sleep. He simply could not be bothered to argue with you, thinking this problem would solve itself like it always did. But you had had enough of this issue.

Suna hadn’t even realised it was coming until he felt a small bell keychain hit the back of his head. It fell to the hardwood floor with a loud clang which lasted for far too long, causing him to inhale sharply and turn around, anger and annoyance replacing the bored expression on his face for once. 

“What the hell is-” he was about to raise his voice until he saw the way your features trembled and your eyes had already become red and puffy. His own features softened and his body unstiffened. “Y/N…”

“You know, the least you could do is try to be nice to me!” you yelled, furiously wiping away the tears forming. “You could at least say “Mm, I’m really not free but we can do it some other time.” or some shit like that! But no! I- I’m busy too, you know! I’m trying to get promoted so I don’t have to rely on yer dumb ass all the time, but I still want to make time for you because I love you so much! But I don’t think ya get that!” 

Something in the back of your mind was telling you not to say these things, that maybe you could just talk this out calmly. Maybe you didn’t have to explode, but something else told you this was the only way to get a point across.

“I’m your girlfriend, but I feel more like a roommate or burden at this point! Ya know, even ‘Tsumu’s able to make time for his girlfriend! And- And Bokuto’s always doing his promotions and ads but still makes time for his boyfriend! Ojiro-senpai too! Miyu-chan tells me he’s the one planning the dates! But ya can’t even be bothered to pretend you’re happy I tried ta plan somethin’ for us!” 

Suna knew you really were angry when your dialect started coming out but he just didn’t know what to say. He could only stand there in silence with his head hanging like a child being scolded.

“Rintarou… I love you so much you know… I just wonder these days- no, I just wonder if you ever loved me back the same way.”

Oh, he knew. Ever since that night when he heard you crying on the phone, he knew he wasn’t doing enough. 

“I… I’m sorry.” Suna looked up when he suddenly heard those words from you amidst the sobs and chokes. 

“I already left your pyjamas on the bathroom counter… Please don’t… Just please don’t talk to me tonight.” you hurried to the tiny kitchen to wash your face as he silently made his way to the bathroom, thoughts swirling around in his head. 

Suna stared at your figure silently for a second before bending down to pick up the bell - a cheap gift he had given you for your third month together right after you two first started university. It was old, the string slightly frayed and loose, and the golden paint had chipped in places to reveal the stainless steel underneath it. There was even a dent on the bottom from when you accidentally dropped one of your heavier textbooks onto it. It was old, and Suna had told you countless times it was fine to throw away, but you always kept it. 

The man took it and carefully placed it back on the key rack before heading into the bathroom. He took his time in there, gathering his thoughts as he knew he wouldn’t be sharing a bed with you tonight.

It was understandable really, he hadn’t been a great boyfriend. Suna knew a relationship took work from both sides and he shouldn’t have been as blunt as he was earlier that night. 

One couldn’t count the number of times he had muttered profanities aimed towards himself while sitting in the bathtub thinking about his mistakes. He didn’t know if you would even want to see him tomorrow morning. Maybe it was for the best he just went to the gym…

The next morning, Suna woke up early. Even in winter, the sun rose far too early in Japan for his taste. Sitting up and grumbling, he rubbed his eyes and stumbled to the bathroom to begin his morning routine.

Looking at himself in the mirror as he brushed his teeth, he could only sigh at the sight of the dark circles under his eyes. 

Though you made him sleep on the stiff couch last night, you gave him the shared duvet and his pillow while you took the slightly thinner blanket from the closet. 

Despite the added comfort, Suna could barely fall asleep. He kept twisting and turning, thinking about you. Your pained face, your strained voice, your kindness even when angry at him. 

“I fucked up so bad,” he muttered once he washed his face and stared at his pathetically tired self in the mirror, water dripping from the ends of his hair. Would you want to break up with him after that? He’d understand if you wanted to, though he knew he would never be able to forgive himself for losing you because of some stupid mistake he could have prevented. 

Suna sighed for what felt like the thousandth time in the past 12 hours and dabbed his face dry with a towel. He knew that now would be the hardest bit - entering your bedroom to get his change of clothes.

Opening the door as slowly as possible in order to prevent the loud whiny creaking that he wished he had fixed months ago, Suna walked slowly towards the open closet. As quickly as possible, he grabbed a set of clothes and turned to face the door. Though it wasn’t without looking at your sleeping form on the large bed. 

Your face was puffy, dehydrated from sobbing last night, only emphasised by the wads of used tissues on the nightstand and floor. He noticed your breathing was a bit heavier than usual and your body was curled up as you hugged the thin blanket as close to yourself as you could.

The sight pained him intensely. 

With silent footsteps, Suna set his clothes on his side (the empty side) of the bed and tiptoed out to grab the duvet before returning and carefully laying it over your body. He tucked it right up to your chin as you always liked it and sat on the floor, eyes scanning every little feature on your face. From the smallest moles he loved to kiss to each individual eyelash.

“You’re not hearing this, I guess,” he muttered, looking down at the floor for a moment before looking back up at you, “I thought about it for a really long time. I really should’ve been better to you.”

The silence in the room was deafening. 

Suna gulped and bit the inside of his cheek as he thought about his next words, wondering if you could hear him in your sleep. 

“I always left you alone but you would always be nice to me. When you could, you’d make me bentos and clean the house while I did the laundry. Hm… putting stuff into a machine isn’t anywhere equal to cooking and cleaning surfaces, but I guess that’s another point to make.” 

Suna smiled to himself just a bit at the memory of you running into the bedroom to make him try your new pastries or dinner creations. He always thought you were so adorable in your old and stained apron that sometimes he would just stand in the kitchen to chat with you or watch you cook.

Then he was reminded of the dinner you had planned for the two of you and he suddenly frowned remembering how horrible he acted towards you the night before.

“You never expected me to be perfect since day one. I think I’m the furthest thing from a handsome prince on a white horse. But you’ve always been wonderful to me. And I was thinking…” You were asleep, right? Was it worth it to say such cheesy things?

“I kept wondering if you would leave and I thought I don’t want to lose you. I’m nowhere close to a prince but I thought I want to always be the one who wakes you up with a kiss. Or, I want you to wake me up with a kiss. Either is fine really. But… yeah. I’m sorry. Really, really sorry. ” He was certain you weren’t hearing these things yet there was a dark blush on his cheeks.

Until he saw you shift in the bed. 

Suna swears his heart stopped momentarily as he leaned closer, checking to see if you had woken up. 

Your eyelids slowly opened and you squinted tiredly at Suna, just barely able to see him with how blurry your vision had become. “Rin…?”

The man hurried to his feet, hoping his morning wouldn’t feel any heavier than it already did. 

“I’m gonna give you some space. I’ll be back after my jog.” 

Suna turned to exit the bedroom but was stopped by the sound of stumbling, followed by your warmth around his waist and resting on his back.

“Please… don’t go.”

He stared silently at the floor in front of him. 

“I don’t think you want to-”

“Stay here! …please?” 

Your soft voice broke but mended his heart at the same time. The scratchiness and fear in your voice contrasted with the words that he wanted to hear so badly.

“Did you…”

“Yeah, I heard everything.”

“You’re not mad?”

“Of course I’m still a little mad. But right now I’m just really happy you would say those things when you normally wouldn’t tell me how you feel. So… please, don’t go. Stay with me.”

The few moments of silence seemed to pass in eons as Suna took in a shaky breath before turning to hug you tightly, burying his face into your neck so you couldn’t see his tears of relief.

“Of course I will. I won’t go anywhere, babe.”

Four years have passed since that night. Suna yawns and scrunches up his face slightly at the way the sunlight enters your shared bedroom. Squinting his eyes, he looks around the room and wonders if maybe he should’ve put on a shirt like you did last night to deal with the first bites of winter. Then again, you did take his shirt.

He then looks to you, sleeping quietly by his side. You looked a little like a mess; hair messy, dwarfed in his big shirt, cheek smushed against the pillow, but he thought you looked adorable. 

It’s cold, but he feels warm by your side. 

And when he looks down at your left hand resting under his even in your sleep, the sight of the silver ring with its diamonds adorning your finger makes his heart even warmer.

[ascottywrites]

AO3 History

That list that I, for some reason, think is valid enough to share. My personal Ao3 History. 

Saddle up. The inner interests of my brain are kind of all over the place. 

The Basement by My_Write_Life (Wip: 25/? | 40,696) Teen Wolf: Sterek [Rated E]

Stiles doubles back to the Argent’s house to free Erica and Boyd before making it back home. In which Stiles, not forgetting all about Erica and Boyd very much remaining in the basement saves them, Derek and Peter killing Jackson does make him go through the process of rebirth but he is brought back human and not a werewolf. Allison and her family go through the very legal repercussions of abducting three teenagers and Scott and Stiles friendship is put on hold because of that. Derek’s still the alpha.

Strip by Fessst (Wip: 12/? | 54,439) Teen Wolf: Sterek [Rated E]

"Singletail whip. Your favorite, isn't it?" Red. Stiles felt nauseated as he bent over the bench. Red. The tremble only increased when his wrists and ankles were secured with leather straps. Red. He heard the Dom behind him give a sample crack of the whip in the air. Red. This would likely pierce his skin. So fucking Red. "What's your safeword?" Red. "Stiles?" "The... the stoplights, Sir."

When Your Back’s Against the Wall by A_Diamond, Michicant123 (Complete: one-shot | 11,976) Teen Wolf: Sterek [Rated E]

Fifteen years ago, the country of Beacon was shaken to its core when three slaves murdered most of the royal Hale family and one of the politically powerful Argents in the course of a single night.

Six years ago, Stiles Stilinski was forced to grow up fast and hard when his dying mother, herself a freed slave, left him at the head of an abolitionist revolution.

Two months ago, beloved princess-to-be Allison Argent was assassinated; three weeks ago, Stiles was caught and charged with her death.

Five hours ago, he was sentenced to serve the remaining Hales—tyrannical King Peter and reclusive Prince Derek—as a slave for the rest of his life. In a palace where the only people who may hate him more than the king are the ever-present family of the woman he’s convicted of murdering, the best he can hope for is that death will only be a few torturous years away.

Caution: swallowing dick may lead to injury - memoirs of a size queen

by

raeupchen (Complete: one-shot | 7,115) Teen Wolf: Sterek [Rated E]

“Derek, can you give me my phone? I want to document this memorable moment,” Stiles said, before making grabby motions in the direction of his phone. Derek – unable to deny the other man anything – gave him the device before sitting back in his chair. He only raised one eyebrow when he saw what Stiles was up to. Apparently ‘documenting this memorable moment’ meant for Stiles to take a selfie and post it online. He showed Derek the picture with the caption ‘Dick sent me to the ER’.

soulmates tbh by bleep0bleep (Complete: one-shot | 1,423) Teen Wolf: Sterek [Rated Teen and Up] 

"It’s been five months," Derek says darkly. "Why am I still getting these proposals? You know these are probably all fake marks."

Five months since the paparazzi had snapped that photo of him with the overzealous fan tugging at his shirt, five months since millions of people on the Internet realized that the birthmark revealed was in fact, the mark, five months Derek was inundated by claims from people who desperately wanted him to believe that they were his soul-mate.

Cornerstone by Vendelin for foreverblue_navy (Complete: 6/6 | 83,738) Teen Wolf: Sterek [Rated E]

Suffering from PTSD, ex-Marine Derek Hale moves back to Beacon Hills to open a bookshop and find a calmer life. That’s where he meets Stiles, completely by accident. Stiles is talkative, charming and curious. Somehow, despite the fact that he’s blind, he’s able to read Derek like no one else.

The Triskelion Mafia - Volume I by JamesAlexander (Complete: 10/10 | 20,834) Teen Wolf: Sterek [Rated E]

Derek Aletto saw his family being killed in front of him. Years of ruling the underworld of the organized crime were flushed down with the flames and the shot of a gun. Sixteen years later, under the name of the Triskelion Mafia, the family is back, leaded by Derek. He keeps his most trusted people close, for the Argento family is forever watching, trying to usurp Derek's prestige among the hidden world of New York. And everything seems to go according to plan, until the Argentos set an ambush for Derek's consigliere, Lydia Martini, and in the middle of the rush for survival, she ends up bringing Stiles along with her to the family's hideout.

tipping scales by jdphoenix (Complete: 2/2 | 3,810) Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: BioSpecialist [Rated Teen and Up] 

An early morning emergency wakes Jemma and Grant.

Slick As A Baby Seal by Faradaze (Wip: 52/? | 131,098) Game Of Thrones: Brimund TarthBane [Rated E]

Tormund is in love/lust. Brienne is repulsed, then intrigued. The story begins shortly after Brienne arrives at Castle Black. This is my interpretation and expansion of the greatest ship that never was. Spoilers for GoT season 6, canon divergent as of season 7.

Rich Man, Poor Man by TyReed (Complete: 10/10 | 58,055) Teen Wolf: Sterek [Rated M]

During a first date gone horribly wrong, Stiles Stilinksi realizes that the snarky guy he's been asked out by is actually Derek Hale, an heir to Hale Industries, one of the most profitable companies in the entire world. Who is, for whatever reason, interested in the son of a teacher and a cop, a loser who spends all weekend watching movies in his pajamas, and who is also possibly one of the biggest dorks on the Internet.

At the same time, after screwing up their first date horribly, Derek Hale realizes that the funny guy he's asked out is Stiles Stilinksi, the warmest and kindest individual he's ever met in his life, with a family just a loving and caring. Who is, for whatever reason, interested in a guy who screws up everything he does, lacks any semblance of a backbone, and who is possibly one of the biggest history dorks in all of the United States.

These rich and poor men will come to experience a taste of each other's lives, and learn where the real blessings in the world can be found.

Bonds of Blood, Bonds of Family, Bonds of Love by TyReed (Complete: 10/10 | 44,003) Teen Wolf: Sterek [Rated M]

After being beaten up by a door, werewolf Stiles Stilinksi finds himself bonded to Derek Hale, of the Hale Noble Bloodline. For a scrawny, wimpy, Tainted Bloodline werewolf, Stiles runs away, embarrassed and humiliated as he worries about bringing shame to the Hale Family, and even more shame to himself. Because the Nobles and Tainted just don't mix, never have, never will.

Except, things aren't exactly what they seem.

With the help of the (meddling) Hale family, his adoptive (meddling) human parents John and Claudia Stilinksi, and one very persistent Alpha Derek Hale, Stiles might come to see himself as more than just the blood that runs through his veins, and open his heart to find the happiness, friends, pack, and the family that he'd always wanted.

Matenapped by xcaellachx (Complete: 12/12 | 36,671) Teen Wolf: Sterek [Rated E]

Alpha Derek Hale has known Spark Stiles Stilinski was his mate for over six years. The traumatized Spark had killed the rogue alpha who tried to kill his friend so many years ago and was still scarred by the experience. Now, Stiles was settled in as a magic shop owner and Derek was ready to claim him for his own. The ritual of matenapping was an old but accepted tradition and Derek had his den ready to receive his mate. It was time.

Stiles Stilinski thought Lydia was insane for thinking the sexy alpha wanted to matenap him. He was damaged by his past and determined to stay single so he didn't harm anyone. He kept his magic tightly leashed and couldn't believe that anyone could want him. Not a murderer. Even when the wolf came to see him and touched him gently, winking at him and looking at him longingly, he just couldn't accept it.

Very soon, Stiles wouldn't have a choice but to believe it. Derek was taking his mate and bringing him to his mating den where he would court and woo him until he couldn't help but fall in love with him.

(A/N: This is a lighthearted fic for the most part. This isn't an evil kidnapping/fall in love with your captor type. Not very serious at all, to be honest. Enjoy!)

**I could have sworn I had more eclectic tastes but I guess in 2018 I was firmly about the Sterek. 

[hispipsqueak]

Moon and Stars

Tsukishima x F!Reader Fluff

A/N: I didn’t proofread this. I just had a lot of thoughts and needed to get them out and also I am kind of sick so yeah....my one braincell is barely functioning yall! 

But I love Tsukishima with all of my heart and wanted something fluffy to make me feel better so I hope you enjoy it. <3 Pip

TW: mild cursing. some suggestive words from Kuroo but it’s pure fluff!

Tsukishima was a lot of things.

A good volleyball player, a smart museum employee, and a handsome guy.

One thing he was not good at, was romance.

He had no idea how he had got you. You were beautiful, sweet, smart. You were like a ray of sunshine in his life and he thanked his lucky stars every day he got to be your boyfriend. However, somewhere deep down, he always felt inadequate. 

He saw your eyes brighten every time you two watched those sappy Christmas movies on TV. Even though you both made jokes about how cheesy the storylines were, (“Yes I will just leave my job as CEO for you, farmer boy!”), he could see the blush on your face when the onscreen couple shared a kiss in the snow. He could feel your body tense when you were cuddled against him and he knew some part of you wanted the whole romantic movie moment.

But every time he tried to express it, it felt...awkward. You were so open to him, complimenting him, posting selfies with cheesy captions on social media, and leaving kisses on his cheek when you shopped for groceries. 

When he tried to kiss you spontaneously, he panicked and headbutted you in the middle of the convenience store. When he tried to post a cute photo of you, he stared at ten websites for “romantic photo captions” before deleting it. Every compliment he could think of made his heart race and he would either say it so monotone, or sounding snarky that you would just roll your eyes.

----

Tsukishima was on his third drink at Kuroo’s “Mandatory Guy’s Night” and the scotch began to unravel his thoughts.

“I just don’t know. Y/N is fucking great. And I just...I suck at this shit.” He mumbled into his glass, thinking out loud.

“Oi, Tsukishima! What are you mumbling about?” Bokuto shouted over his beer, clearly more than tipsy. 

“Are you talking about your hot girlfriend?” Kuroo teased, his eyes narrowing. He let out a chuckle as Tsukishima’s ears reddened. “Better treat her right, or I’m stealing her.” 

“I seriously doubt she would date an actual farm animal.” Tsukishima replied, dryly. He swirled his glass before downing it. The scotch burned his throat. “But, and I hate to say this, I might need some help.”

“TSUKKI!!! ASKING FOR HELP?! LET’S TAKE A PICTURE!!”, Bokuto shouted, fumbling with his phone, before snapping a very blurry selfie. 

“One, I’m pretty sure you just took a photo of yourself owlboy, and two, what do you need help with? Are you not pleasing her in the —” Kuroo started before Tsukishima glared at him.

“You finish that sentence, and I will beat your ass.” Tsukishima said, his voice tight. Normally, Kuroo saying stupid shit didn’t bother him as much, but now that he was a little drunk and emotional, he was not in the mood.

Kuroo’s eyes softened, “Tsukishima, you know I’m kidding. Now, what is it you need help with?” 

Tsukishima waved the bartender over for another glass. “I just...Y/N is so fucking perfect. And I can’t help but think that she’s gonna wake up one day and realize that she wants someone that can express that shit to her. I’m not a roses and wine type of guy. I’m not some guy that’s gonna be able to give her the world. I can’t even compliment her without adding some stupid ass comment at the end. And yes, maybe Christmas is, as she puts it. ‘Getting me in my feels’, but I just want her to know that before I–”

He fumbled in his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box. He placed it on the table between the three of them. Both Kuroo and Bokuto stared, eyes widening.

“Are you…?”

“TSUKISHIMA!!! YOU’RE GROWING UP!”

Bokuto began tearing up while Kuroo smiled and pulled Tsukishima into a hug.

“I’m proud of you man.”

Tsukishima placed his head in his hands. The waitress brought his drink out and he threw it back, before letting out a long groan.

“I can’t just say ‘Hey idiot, wanna marry me?’ She watches these movies and they have fucking musical numbers, stadiums, fucking Santa Claus, in their proposals. How the fuck do I tell her that every time I see her face, I realize that there are good things in this world? That every time I see her across the room, I wanna wrap my arms around her and never let go. That I would watch a million cheesy ass romantic movies if it meant I could lie next to her and run my fingers through her hair. How the fuck do I tell her that if I’m the moon, then she’s the fucking stars?” Tsukishima spoke louder than he meant.

He heard a small gasp. He looked up to see both his friends staring behind him. He turned around.

You were standing in the bar, eyes glassy with tears and smiling so big, he could feel it in his heart.

“You pocket dialed me dumbass.” You giggled.

He stood up, shakily and pulled you close. He kissed you hard, dipping you down. You could taste the scotch on his breath and felt something wet hit your cheek. You realized he was crying. 

“I love you, Y/N. I’m sorry I can’t always express that but I love every fucking thing about you.”

“Tsukki, the box.” Kuroo stage whispered.

Tsukishima’s eyes sprang open and he grabbed the box from the table. 

“I know we are in a sticky bar with shitty music. I know I’m a little drunk and Bokuto is crying in the background. I know there’s not some old guy who is vaguely supposed to be Santa Claus here. But I know that I wanna spend the rest of my life with you.” Tsukishima whispered to you. He opened the box and your mouth dropped at the gorgeous ring inside. 

You looked up at him and nodded, tears streaming down. “I love you. I love everything about you, Kei. I’d spend every night in a shitty bar with our drunk friends if it meant I could be your wife.” 

Tsukishima may not have been perfect. But he was yours.