#this is a small snippet of the insanity of classic Supe

[superman-the-secret-third-thing]

Crazy Things that happened to Golden/Silver/Bronze Age Superman that he just shrugged off

-He's a clone of a clone and the original Superman died years ago.

-The universe is an infinite time loop, once the big bang occurs it happens again. He has lived through his childhood and early adulthood twice.

-He can't die of old age so if he wants to die he'll have to kill himself.

-He's indirectly responsible for a nuclear apocalypse that laid a planet completely barren, but doesn't remember it because it happened in a time bubble where he was turned back into a baby and sent on his way to earth.

-He's partially responsible for Kandor getting bottled- he went back in time and tried to organize an effort to evacuate the planet, but he forgot to check the name of the city he was in, so their entire fleet got sucked up by Brainiac.

-He cries uncontrollably on his birthday, not because of Krypton's destruction, but because Kryptonians have a tradition of being sad on their birthdays. He hypnotized himself to forget this for some reason.

-He's doomed to be haunted by a white woman with double initials. He once tried to go back in time and not encounter Lois, only to encounter an even crazier bitch who tried to attack him to expose his identity.

-Despite having a rule against killing, he accidentally built a fully sapient and self-aware robot as a teen and killed it without mercy while it begged for it's life.

-Wizards are real

-He attempted to prevent the assassination of Abraham Lincoln but failed, watching John Wilkes Booth shoot the president while he stood frozen.

-His eyes rolled so far back into his head he looked at his own brain.

-A clone of himself, identical in every way except for his super powers committed suicide via gunshot.

-Mxyzptlk made a fake wife and son for Superman and acted like Mxy had just removed the memory of his marriage instead of just making them up wholeheartedly. He turned out to be the kid but the wife was a fully sapient magical construct who dies on the floor.

-Bizarro is the Christian devil, the Yeti and Mary Shelly's inspiration for Frankenstein

-A mob wanted to make superman guilty of murder, so they resurrected a guy from the dead for ten hours, so he can get superman to punch him at the exact right time to fall dead again. He got hit by a car so plan B was Boxing Match + Suicide capsule

-The Kryptonians once built an exact duplicate of Krypton as a decoy to distract space pirates who wanted to rob the planet. Superman found it, an unknowingly activated the booby trap, killing every sentient robot duplicate, including his parents. He didn't know that they were fake at the time.

-If you smash a potted tibetan plant over your skill at a right angle, you can see exactly one hour into the future

-Superman robots explode f they hear a language that isn't English.

-John Corben, Metallo and Bruce Wayne, Batman look exactly like him.

-His love interests always have LL initials. Lyla Lerrol (Kryptonian Actress), Lois Lane (Human Reporter), Lana Lang (Smallville Resident), Lori Lemaris (Mermaid telepath) and Lahla (Thorone Dissenter)

I'll post if I can think of more.