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frozenjokes · 7 months ago

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a few very good days

ao3 link

Whatever Scar had been expecting when it came to puzzles or escape rooms or whatever else, this was not it. ‘This,’ being.. a lot of sitting around and thinking and overall doing nothing. Cub and Cleo had decided to start with one of the hallways; because they were more dangerous, they were also shorter, and it was a nice morale boost to complete a room quickly. Their definition of ‘quick’ was not the same as Scar’s, not in the slightest.

For the first few days Cub wasn’t feeling well, supposedly unrelated to his sculk situation, but Scar didn’t really believe that, even if Cleo insisted otherwise. Resisting every fiber of his being telling him to smother Cub was a monumental effort, but working with Cleo on the escape room helped, and Scar was relieved at least to stay close to the safe room, even if Cleo insisted that Scar not check in on Cub every five minutes.

The start of the puzzle room had been pretty interactive. Despite having the beginning clue of paying attention to the mirror in the hall, Cleo was determined to map every inch of the place, which, honestly, Scar had thought she and Cub had already done, but apparently not. Every item that might have a clue or code was documented, every number on the walls and carved into drawers, every letter, every word, every lock and passcode and blank screen. There was so much in here that Scar hadn’t noticed at a first glance; it felt like every inch of this place was stuffed full of codes and riddles and ciphers. The back of the mirror had its own numerical lock, which Cleo was certain the mirror itself would hold the answer to. That made sense.

And then Cleo got sick.

Scar hadn’t noticed anything, and was alarmed when she told him she wasn’t feeling well, but Cub was doing better, so he would be helping out. Cleo didn’t have a fever or sweats or even smell any different, and Scar was disturbed he couldn’t tell they were sick at all, even after excessive investigation. On accident, he’d woken them up multiple times during the night trying to figure out what was the matter, being told off for completely reasonable forms of affection (“If you lick the insides of my ears one more time I am going to twist out your tongue with my bare hands), but despite his best efforts, he could not detect any sort of illness. Scar was an excellent caregiver regardless, whenever Cub would let him at least.

Cub did not have as much patience for Scar’s anxiety as Cleo did, and he didn’t very much like to hear about Scar’s struggle identifying a problem. ‘Just leave her alone, she wants to be left alone,’ and yes, Scar was perfectly okay and not at all stressed about doing this, but he was just concerned he couldn’t sense any kind of issue! Is that what happened when you died and came back? Scar had no idea, and he had an awful lot of questions, though all of them were answered with a blunt ‘I don’t know,’ even when Scar had gotten suspicious and started asking things Cub absolutely knew the answer to, which, to his credit, had turned into a somewhat amusing game. Cub was very good at holding a straight face, and Scar wanted nothing more than to Break It.

They were not very productive in the day or so that Cleo was ill. In fairness, Scar and Cleo had mapped out most of the room, so he and Cub were left to start with the mirror code, which turned out to be an excruciatingly boring task of trial and error that Scar tired of quickly. Messing around with Cub, trying to pull out any other emotion than ‘:|’ was far more entertaining.

And then Cub went to check on Cleo (WITHOUT HIM 3:<), but it wasn’t long before he returned, poking his head through the door to let Scar know she was all better (YAYY :3!!!). Cub didn’t explicitly say Scar was free to reenter the safe room when he let the door close, leaving Scar alone in the hall, but Scar took this to mean he was allowed back in, bounding to the door (with perhaps less caution than necessary in a hallway filled with deadly traps, but hey, he managed to get through unscathed nonetheless).

Scar was very confused to walk in and see Cub and Cleo sitting together on Cub’s bed, a blanket draped over both their laps.. a very small blanket actually, it looked torn at the edges.. what had Cub done to his bedspread?

“Uh,” Scar mumbled, a little nervous in the wake of Cleo’s bright expression and Cub’s slightly less angry looking face. They were looking at him expectantly, and Scar had utterly no clue what to do with that. “Is.. everything okay?”

“We made you something,” Cleo began, and they looked just about to burst, though when Cub said nothing, they elbowed him hard enough in the side to double him over, “Go on!”

“Augh. My insides.”

“Cub!”

“Why do I have to speak.”

“It was your idea!”

“Don’t tell him that.”

“Why not? I think it’s very sweet.”

“Stop saying words. Forever.”

“If you don’t want me to talk then you’re going to have to.”

“Fine.” Cub looked up, a definitive if not slightly sheepish look plastered in his strained frown, “I thought you could have something to lick that wasn’t me because I hate it and you’re not allowed to do that anymore even if you want to which is annoying because I can tell you want to and it irritates me. Stop looking at me like you want to lick me. Lick this instead.”

From under the blanket, Cub pulled a small plush- cat? It looked like it was meant to be a cat despite being a little rough around the edges, but it had those small ears and a tail and it even had six legs.. gosh it totally was a cat! A little kitten! Immediately it was clear the creature was made from the fabric that used to be Cub’s blanket, and Scar couldn’t entirely see Cub’s sheets behind him, but he didn’t know what else could have been used to stuff the little plush. The face had small embroidered eyes and a little smile. Scar could have cried.

“How- How did you make this? There isn’t- I don’t remember anything sharp you could’ve-”

“I can hack away at anything. Just takes longer.” Cub interrupted him, curt. Cleo was beaming. Cub looked about ready to bite her. “Stop- both of you stop that. Stop looking like that. I didn’t even sew it up, Cleo did that, I wouldn’t be precise enough to do a good job. They’re the only reason it looks half good, they’ve got the thread just in case their face falls apart, I hardly did anything.”

Apparently Cub was not pleased with the silence, and he did bite Cleo, hard by the way she yelped, then he took the plush and whipped it at Scar, who with great alarm caught it like it was glass, staring on at Cub as he continued to hiss “And be careful with it! It’s fragile.”

“I can repair it if any of the seams come loose,” Cleo smirked, patting Cub on the back, to which he glared at her with a revulsion Scar had never seen cross his face before. Then, standing stiff, he marched to Cleo’s bed and buried himself in it. Cleo still looked radiant. “And what he won’t say is that he’s sorry for freaking out on you all those loops ago, but you didn’t hear that from me.”

Cub’s great revolution to this sentiment was expressed in a valiant flailing and cursing under the covers, but other than that, he said no more.

Scar wasn’t listening. He was too enraptured in the face of his new companion, soulful and innocent and entirely perfect. He’d never loved so instantly, so strongly. A little one of his very own. Scar would treat it with utmost care.

…

The three of them fell into a pretty steady routine. Wake up, chat, eat, head to the puzzle room, fuck around for a bit, hopefully make some process, break for lunch, chat, back to the puzzle room, hit their heads against the wall when nothing was working, break for dinner, and depending on how motivated the three of them were, they’d get back to it. It was boring, a lot more boring than Scar had expected from a big escape room, but he supposed there was a reason this thing took months to complete. The humans didn’t want their prisoners to have too much fun.

But there were a few new developments with Scar’s life that made existing here a little more bearable, sometimes even nice.

It was a strange thing for him how the humans ate, always together, always talking or playing a game or doing something else, like the act of eating was sidelined by a more engaging social activity. It still made Scar a little uncomfortable; he just couldn’t shake it despite longing for their company, but that didn’t mean his new shining star needed to be excluded.

When Cub and Cleo sat down to eat, Scar left his Little with them, along with its very own serving of rations, so it might participate while Scar rested in his place near the ceiling, one eye open, relaxed, observing, but mostly drifting to a surface level doze. Cub and Cleo usually went back to the escape room before Scar woke, so he ate afterwards, content to be alone with his Little.

The humans were also consistently sleeping together now, likely due to Cub’s mangled sheets, but this was a double win for Scar, who was more than thrilled to drape himself over the both of them, Little tucked under his chest. Any surges of sudden affection were redirected to his Little, the short fur on its head always sticking up in every which way. It was great. It was almost perfect. He loved human nights now, even if they were still far too quiet.

The time just before the night was lovely as well. They had already eaten their dinner, so the three of them just lounged in the beds, sometimes spread out over the two, sometimes all in the same place, and Cleo got to telling stories.

Scar didn’t know how these stories became routine, they hadn’t been before, but it started with a distant smile, Scar asking what she was thinking about, and then,

“Oh, it’s nothing. Just thinking about home. Funny memory with my family, that’s all.”

“Tell me about it?”

“Oh, no, no, it’s fine.”

“Please?”

Cleo looked up, and Scar didn’t know if she just didn’t want to tell, or didn’t think Scar wanted to hear what she had to say, but either way she cracked, smiling as she shook her head.

“Well, near my childhood home there were all these strawberry fields, and the people that owned the land made their money by letting people pick them and bring ‘em home, y’know?”

Scar glanced away, sheepish, “I don’t.. know the field you’re talking about. We don’t have whatever the word before is.”

“Oh, it’s a fruit. It’s food that grows out of the ground.”

“Oh, alright. Continue.”

Cleo smiled, “Well, the food grows on bushes that are pretty close to the ground, so people have to bend over to pick them up. We don’t walk easily on four legs, we have bad knees.”

“Yes,” Scar agreed heartily, “I find them unnerving.”

“Me too, anyway, my mom would bring ‘her boys’ down to the food fields, and we’d all go ‘strawberry’ picking, a nice family activity, at least until her terrible little gremlin children became quite aware of what tends to happen to middle aged men who bend over to pick food with their kids.” Cleo gestured to their pants, and Scar did not understand.

“Asscrack!” Cub mumbled, and Scar gave him a quizzical look until Cleo continued.

“When you bend over, sometimes your pants slide down and bring your underwear with it. Happens to the best of us. But my brother and I, shit eating children as we were, thought this was very amusing. Honestly, it was my mother’s fault, she was the one who started it. She brought the two of us close, pointed in the most conspicuous way she could’ve possibly done it, and whispered ‘asscrack!’ We, all three of us, were in complete stitches. Inconsolable. Now, we’re little kids, we aren’t supposed to be swearing like that, so imagine my mom’s horror when she accidentally creates a new game, her two children pointing and screaming ASSCRACK every single time a poor soul bends over wearing pants way too tight. It became a competition. Who could call out the most asscracks? Had to be different people every time, no repeats, and whoever spotted the crack first and called it out got the point. My mother caved eventually, because objectively, Asscrack is an incredible game. We got our swearing pass one day a year out in those fields, hardly able to get the words out because we were laughing so hard. We were pulling down our own pants just to add our own cracks to our point totals. Complete chaos. I’d give anything to go back and do it all again,” Cleo sighed, their smile falling slightly, but Scar was utterly entranced.

He still didn’t quite understand why pants were such a big deal to humans, but that didn’t matter. It wasn’t about the details. “Tell me more.”

Cleo snorted, “More what? Nothing else to that story.”

“More stories, then. Please.”

Cleo laughed, rolling her eyes. “You are just like a kid sometimes, you know that?” Scar didn’t care. Cleo’s smile returned, and they closed their eyes, reclining back on the bed board to think. Scar watched with bated breath, his Little tucked close to his chest and wearing a similar expression of anticipation (:3).

He wanted more. He wanted to hear all about their past, their friends, their family, the stupid things they got up to when they were young, everything, and that first night Cleo talked until the three of them fell asleep, Scar remembering distinctly a small smile on Cub’s face before consciousness faded to dark.

Sometimes Scar would attempt to contribute a story, and while he struggled sometimes to sift through the swamp of ugly memories to find something positive, Cleo was patient, and even Cub’s eyes had a shine of interest that encouraged him to continue. Scar had.. never really done this before. Rested on the soft cloud of tender memories, spoke the good into existence, let it feel real. And it did. It felt so much more real. His longing for home remained in the wake of his speeches, but there was something more hopeful there, something good, something to look forward to when he finally made it back to his planet. (Maybe it wouldn’t be long now.. two weeks had passed and even though progress was slow, it was definitely happening. Cleo predicted they were more than halfway done with the hall puzzles, and Cub had been less optimistic, but reluctantly agreed. With only five rooms and one of them almost complete, it wouldn’t be long now.)

Scar was going to call home. He was going to do it after Cub and Cleo fell asleep, when his morale was highest and when they couldn’t see him get ripped to shreds if things turned sour. Scar would have his Little. That would be enough.

While he was waiting for the humans to fall asleep he ended up dozing off himself, but that was alright, since when he woke up he knew for sure they’d both be sufficiently conked out. Indeed, they did not stir, even when he walked over them to sneak out the left hall door.

Scar’s confidence held firm until he reached the control room monitors, slowly draining away to the beat of the soft electronic buzzing. While the room was just as bright as it was during the day, the atmosphere was still gentle like the night, unsettling in some ways and peaceful in others. He hesitated when he reached the keyboard, but he was not a coward. He knew which buttons to press.

The initial receiver looked surprised to see him; maybe it was late back home? Regardless, they were cordial, and there was only a brief waiting period before a familiar face was staring back at him from his own clan’s console board.

Scar meant to speak, but standing face to face with someone he knew, cared for, even when they hardly spoke beyond a passing greeting.. his tongue dried. Skizz did not need to be prompted.

“What’s poppin’ homie buddeh, how you doing, man? It’s been a while, we’ve been thinking about’cha.”

Scar opened his mouth. No words came out of it. The only warning of what was to come was an itch at the back of his throat, a swelling in his chest, and then he sobbed, sobbed like he’d never cried before in his entire life. Scar had been sad, he’d known the ache of depression and boredom that clawed harder than the looming hunger, he’d broken down at the loss of his mother, and he’d known pain of broken limbs, sickness, frailty that threatened his fragile sense of usefulness, but this..

Right now, he did not cry for grief or anger or loss. He did not cry for loneliness, and maybe he did cry for homesickness, but tonight, inconsolably sobbing at a bright screen, he cried because they were thinking about him. They were thinking about him, and the cat that had answered the phone had been happy to see him. Scar had not dared be so hopeful.

Skizz pressed his large forehead to the camera, and Scar heard the horns that curled around his ears clink against the screen, “It’s alright. It’s okay, Scar, it’s going to be okay.”

Scar couldn’t help himself from clambering up on the desk and keyboard, he could have killed himself with carelessness like this, but he didn’t care, he needed to get to the camera mounted above the monitor, he needed to be close. He pushed his forehead to it and it was warm, almost like a body.

“I miss you. I miss being there. I think about it every day, every day I want to be back home. We- I’m working on it. It won’t be long now, but I just miss it- being home, I just want to be back home.”

“You’ve got it, buddy. I know you’ll make it work.”

Scar laughed, just a little bit, shaking his head, “I don’t know if we know each other well enough to be saying stuff like that..”

“Naww, if I know a thing about you, Scar, it’s that you’re a mighty whirlwind of a guy. You can break through. You’re a stubborn son of a bitch, you won’t stop until you’ve done it.”

Scar backed up from the camera to see that Skizz had already returned to his place in frame, bright eyed and vibrant as he was; maybe Scar should spend more time around Skizz; he hadn’t before because of Impulse, Scar being mildly intimidated by him, but maybe it would be worth putting forth more of an effort to befriend the both of them. Some of Skizz’s optimism might rub off on him.

Scar hopped down from the desk, giving his ruffled shoulders a few embarrassed licks, “I don’t think I have a choice, truthfully.”

“Yeah,” Skizz looked thoughtful, tail flicking genially, “But you’ll do it all the same. What can I do for you, Scar? Looking for anyone?”

“Pearl,” Scar spoke faster than he’d intended, tripping over the one word, “Is Pearl around?”

Skizz raised an eyebrow, and Scar knew why. Anyone would have expected Mumbo, but Scar wasn’t quite ready to see him yet, hoping he’d be away. Besides, Scar and Pearl weren’t.. on the best of terms. It didn’t matter. Scar was still sniffling, and Skizz didn’t try to question him.

“I’ll call down, one second,” Skizz muted his and Scar’s connection, and Scar saw Skizz sit up on his haunches, using all four of his paws to dial and hold the phone; Scar wondered if Skizz was covering a shift for Impulse; it didn’t make sense otherwise why he wasn’t using a phone fit for paws without thumbs. Skizz didn’t seem to have an issue either way, brightening when someone on the other end picked up, looking like chatting with the cat on the other line made him the happiest man in the world. He was always like that, really. Skizz had a talent for making you feel valued, he was one of the nicest cats in the clan, that was for sure. He was a big guy, a retired mercenary with the scars to prove it, but even then, there wasn’t a jaded bone in his body. Scar wished he could be like that one day.

“She's on her way, happy to be here too, doesn’t happen very often that she has an excuse to blind the whole comms team in the middle of the night.”

“Oh, is it late? Sorry, the humans track time differently-”

“Nonsense, nonsense, come now, Scar, you know Pearl’s on an inverted clock anyway, yeesh, if I had a sleep schedule like her I’d be in the ground!” The both of them laughed softly, Skizz doing Scar a massive favor by carrying the rest of the conversation with mild small talk. Scar didn’t want to talk very much about what was going on in his own life, and it was an incredible relief to close his eyes and listen to the comings and goings of his own clan, even if he wasn’t truly there.

There was no mistaking Pearl’s arrival, the dim lights of the room being blown out by the light from her eyes and fur, literal light, Pearl was only slightly larger than the smallest cats on Scar’s planet, but you wouldn’t know it, mostly because when her eyes were open, you could hardly look her in the face at all. Multiple cats groaned in the face of the sudden light and Skizz snickered, mixing warmly with Pearl’s recognizable cackle. The brightness was far more bearable when Pearl closed her eyes, the moths and various other creatures nestled in her fur fluttering, but ultimately not moving.

“Do me a favor, won’t you Skizz?” Pearl mumbled through a dark blindfold hanging out the side of her mouth.

“Anytime, Pearlo,” Skizz took the blindfold gently, his paws dwarfing her face as he awkwardly pushed the light canceling cloth over her face, the both of them giggling at the clumsiness of their own paws. Scar was amused to see small dapples of light poking out from the many holes made by accidental claw marks, probably from all the struggling to get the thing on in the first place. Scar was glad he had thumbs.

When the commotion was over, Pearl turned to the camera, and even though the smile on her face remained, she was less animated as she greeted him, “Hello, Scar. Good to see you.”

Scar faltered slightly, unsure if she could actually see him through the blindfold or not; she didn’t wear it often, it was hard to remember. Kind of a stupid design if she couldn’t see though, that wouldn’t much much sense-

“Scar?”

“Oh- Sorry. I’m sorry.”

Skizz looked between the two of them, lowering his head, “I’ll leave you two to it. Call if you need anything.” Scar watched with mild terror as Skizz got to his paws, padding away into the back hall.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Pearl’s voice was light, but Scar could hear the strain- oh, she must be able to see through the blindfold then, okay.

“Ah- Sorry. I’m just.. I’m a little bit scrambled.”

“Don’t need to apologize, mate, I don’t have anywhere else to be. If I can ask, though, why me? Feels like it’s been ages since we’ve really talked.”

Scar bit his tongue at the impulse to apologize. “I’ve just been thinking about you. We’ve been- the humans and I, I mean.. We do a lot of talking. There’s not much else to do other than talk. And I was thinking about you, the both of us when we were younger, y’know? We weren’t- I mean, we weren’t anything close or anything.. just the same age in the same place, but.. I don’t know. I miss.. I feel like I didn’t.. I appreciate you. I appreciate you, and I wanted you to know.”

It was hard to read Pearl’s expression when half of her face was covered; Scar wished she didn’t have to wear that stupid blindfold, but he supposed if the light from her eyes shone directly into the camera, he wouldn’t be able to see her either.

“That’s sweet, Scar,” Pearl mumbled, and he saw a small smile there, but it was bittersweet, and Scar fought the storm of anguished rejection that threatened to burst through the gates of his composure, “I miss it too, sometimes. It was easier then, easier to goof around and get in trouble and not care so much. I was afraid to lose that. And you were in such a hurry to grow up.”

“I know,” Scar’s whiskers twitched, ear drooping, “It was hard with my health.. I knew I’d get set back. If I wasn’t working harder than everyone else then I wouldn’t be fit to fly as early as I needed to.”

“You didn’t have to go to space the day you turned of age.”

“I did.”

“I guess I’ll never understand that about you,” Pearl sighed, and Scar was relieved, at least until she continued, “I just wish you didn’t have to change. You weren’t just in a hurry to grow up, you had to leave everyone else behind in order to do it.”

“I didn’t-”

“You did, Scar. That’s why it’s so difficult to be around you sometimes, because you just don’t.. I don’t know. It’s nice to know you cared, it really is, because I didn’t really know. I believe you didn’t see it that way, that you didn’t actually think the only cats good enough for you were the soldiers you looked up to, but that’s how I took it. That’s how I felt.” Pearl quieted, but when Scar didn’t have the words to answer, she lowered her head. “But yeah, I miss it too. I know things were never really easy, but I do miss it. I hope you’re doing well.”

“I’d like to make it up to you. I really- I am sorry. I was.. I can’t fix it, I can tell you why, but I can’t fix it, and I’m sorry. I want to make it up to you. I’ve thought a lot of things for a lot of years that weren’t true, but I.. I’ve had a lot of time to look back, and when I’ve been doing that, thinking about it all, so much of my childhood I got to spend being a child.. that was you. And I owe you so much for that, I just wish I could’ve realized it sooner.”

Pearl shook her head. “Nothing to be done, Scar. Nothing to be done. All of that was so many years ago, I’ve moved on, and even though all this is.. It’s nice to hear, but it’s over now. When you’re home we can share a groom; I wouldn’t mind reconnecting with you. No use holding grudges from when we were kids; no use holding grudges at all in my opinion. We have enough to be unhappy about, don’t we? If you want to do anything for me, then let it go. I’d be happy with that.”

“Okay,” Scar fought to keep his voice steady. He wasn’t sure how he’d do that, but if that’s what Pearl wanted from him, he would try. He would try. “I’d like that. I really would. I don’t- Wastes, sharing a groom sounds like the best thing in the world to me right now.”

“Humans don’t groom each other like we do?”

“They don’t groom each other at all.”

“What? No wonder they’re so miserable! I’ve heard they’re quite poor company, I’m sorry for that.”

“Oh, no, they’re not so ba-“

“Scar!” Mumbo ripped into the comms room, scaring the life out of everyone present on what was previously a quiet night, even Pearl’s tail puffing to double its size while Scar couldn’t do anything but stare in bewildered shock at the screen. Several catfolk let loose a couple of nasty hisses, to which Mumbo shrunk back with a meek apology before squirreling towards Pearl, not that he greeted her in the slightest.

“Scar, goodness Scar, you’re alright, are you? Did you get away from them? How long has it been, oh, and you’ve been stuck with those- those maniacs- and it’s my fault! Scar, I’m sorry. I never should have said those things that I said to you, it was stupid, and I had no idea- Why aren’t you saying anything?”

Scar gaped stupidly. “..What? I don’t- what?”

“They killed you!”

“I.. The humans? Yeah, they.. quite a few times they’ve killed me. The ship in it of itself is kind of a death trap. You’re designed to die. I don’t like it, but that’s where I’m at.. Trying not to get desensitized to it is the hardest part, honestly, but I’ve been shot in the head so many times it hardly phases me anymore. If I have to die, that’s how I prefer to go. Cub has crafted a few more.. creative ways of killing me.. Well, technically I wasn’t the one he was trying to kill, but accidents happen, and honestly, so long as there’s blood I think he’s happy.”

Mumbo couldn’t have looked more horrified if a human came in through the hall door and shot Scar dead right then.

“There has to be something we can do. We have to get you out of there, we need- There must be something that’ll keep those humans from treating you like a shooting range dummy!”

Scar scratched the back of his head, discomfort making his tail twitch, “It’s not so bad, Mumbo. Most of the time they’re doing it to reset the loop, which we have to do to find a proper layout for the puzzles. They’re doing me a favor, honestly.. if they didn’t shoot me, I’d have to do it myself and I.. I just can’t.”

“You shouldn’t have to! It looks to me like they kill you just for fun!”

Scar pursed his lips. “Well.”

“Well?”

“Cub does. Sometimes. It’s been a while though! And Cub promised to be nicer- I don’t know if that means he’ll stop, but at least right now he can’t! We’re working on the puzzles, and if we solve it, we get to go home early! I know it feels like a long way away, but we have five puzzles to solve, and we’re already more than halfway through the first one! I’m going to go home, Mumbo.”

But Mumbo growled in response, only stopping when Scar shrank under the noise, Mumbo’s long ears drooping and eyes growing softer. “I’m going to make this right, Scar, I’m going to do my best to- which one is Cub?”

“I- He’s the one with the dark hair and the lab coat. All the baggy clothes, really. But it’s fine, Mumbo, I think we’re starting to get along-“

“It’s not fine!” Mumbo wailed, getting a few dirty looks from the other cats in the room, “Nothing about this is fine, Scar! I’ll set off to the central comms center tomorrow, I’ll make them put me in contact with the humans and if they don’t listen then I’ll get Grian to do it! He doesn’t have the authority either, but he could bring them to tears at least, he’ll do it for me. I’ll tell them to get that Cub human under control- and the other one too, I don’t care if they’re nicer, they knew exactly what they were doing when they looked directly at me and pulled the damned trigger-“ Mumbo’s voice hiked upwards in staccato notes, and Scar couldn’t do much more than blink as he struggled to process what Mumbo had said.

“Did.. Did Cleo call you?”

Mumbo stared at Scar as if he was a ghost, “Not exactly but- but I- I called you. It’s been ages, I don’t know exactly when but you- you weren’t there and they.. you don’t remember?”

“No!?”

“Oh dear,” Pearl mumbled, and a couple other cats glanced away, like everyone in the room knew what had happened while Scar was still in the dark.

“What did they do!?”

“I-“ Mumbo started, stuttering and stumbling, “I just wanted to talk to you! I didn’t- I didn’t like how things went down, it was unfair to you, I just-“

“Mumbo, what happened?”

“You- They were waiting for you. By both of those doors. When you came inside the Cub human grabbed you and you- you looked right at me and your- your head, Scar, your head. He looked right at me, just covered in your blood, you couldn’t have even fought back. He shot you- I don’t even know how many times he shot you, your body was just convulsing- And then the other human came out of nowhere, and they killed Cub, right in the head, just like he’d done to you, and they looked at me. Scar, they looked at me before they shot themself, and they didn’t even die right away. I was just staring, staring at the three of you for I don’t even know how long. Until the screen went black. The call disconnected. I can’t stop seeing your face, the way you looked at me, like you saw me, and you knew you were going to die.”

Scar gaped. He couldn’t close his stupid mouth, he couldn’t hardly think- Mumbo had called back, he’d tried to reach Scar, and neither of them had said a word.

Scar was going to FUCKING KILL THEM.

“I’ll call you back. I don’t know when, but soon.” Scar was barely holding himself together, composure as thin as the line of his lips. He set his Little down on the keyboard; it didn’t need to see this. Mumbo didn’t either, Scar knew he wouldn’t want to, though he’d gladly perform a show for every cat available to watch him rip them limb from limb.

Scar didn’t remember how to hang up, but whether or not Mumbo did so was not his problem. Muscle memory brought him back to the humans safely.

They did not wake up when Scar tore the blankets away with a hiss, but they were certainly up when he yanked them out of bed by their ankles, backs and faces smashing against the floor, the both of them jumping dazedly to their hands only to be kicked back down.

“Scar-?”

“Take a guess who I just got off the phone with,” Scar snarled, angrier still when clarity failed to reach Cleo’s eyes; he expected something like this from Cub, he did not expect it from them. He wound back and kicked her, hard enough to break a rib though he didn’t hear anything crack. She groaned, breath stolen.

“Was no one going to say anything? Mumbo called, and NEITHER of you thought to tell me? You lied!”

“Oh,” Cub grunted, rolling over onto his arms, “That’s what this is about? Couldn’t have waited until the morning?”

“Shut up!” Scar raked his claws across Cub’s face, then again, then a third time, but it wasn’t enough, Cub wasn’t in enough pain, so Scar kicked him as well, nailing him hard enough in the stomach to roll him on his back. “Shut up! Just- Shut up!”

“Scar, come on,” Cleo wheezed, breath coming heavy, “We didn’t know what he wanted. You were so upset, we didn’t want anyone thinking they could just call to yell at you any time, especially when we’re the ones who have to endure the aftermath.”

“Oh, is that it.” Scar whirled on them, tail lashing so violently that he wouldn’t be surprised if it whipped right out of the socket, “I’m just such a burden on the two of you that you couldn’t tell me when my damn friends want to talk to me!”

“Yeah,” Cub huffed, “You were a fucking pain in the ass.” Cub stopped talking when Scar stomped on his back with both legs.

“We all have our lows,” Cleo grunted, “And they’re not always easy on the other people. It happens. You don’t like when we kill each other, and we don’t like it when you- were the way that you were. But we dealt with it because we had to, and we did what we needed to do to keep it from getting worse.”

“Is that all I am to you?” Scar snarled, “A fucking inconvenience?”

“No, Scar,” Cleo sighed harshly, she was annoyed at him! She was annoyed, Cleo- Scar didn’t even hear the rest, he swiped at their face in an uncoordinated hurt, only grazing their nose, but his claws caught on something, pulled, Scar wincing back at the unexpected resistance. “Fuck- fucking- Damn it, Scar!”

He’d torn something, the stitches maybe, there was no blood, but something else, lighter and viscous and something was very wrong with their skin, but as quickly as Scar was frightened by it, he did not care, whirling around and storming out of the room. He went to collect his Little; the monitors were dark and he was grateful. He didn’t want to see anyone right now. But the control room got too much traffic, he didn’t want to be here, so he went back to his own reset room, settling on the top of the shelf with the judgemental statues, and sniffled dust.

If either of the humans came looking for him, they probably wouldn’t find him up here. He didn’t want to be found.

It didn’t matter. They never came looking.

That hurt more.

#hermitcraft #hermitfic #hermitcraft fic #gtws #goodtimeswithscar #cubfan135 #zombiecleo #convex #mumbo jumbo #skizzleman #pearlescentmoon #timeloopprisonau

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rowiewritesstuff · 1 year ago

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Hello, may I ask for an Earthspark or TFP match-up, please?

My height is 5'3 (160cm). Im nonbinary and asexual, and I use any pronouns. I have brown, curly, short hair and green eyes. My skin is very pale, and I usually look pretty tired. I wear black clothes. Im a pretty calm and level-headed person. I really enjoy deep conservation, music, dancing, reading, and stargazing. I can read pretty much anything. I really like learning new things. Im sarcastic, and I like to tease my friends. I am extremely loyal to my friends, and I show my affection for them through gifts, quality time, and doing them favors. I tend to talk a lot about topics that I am interested in. I usually stay calm when people panic, (even if I'm screaming on the inside). Im trying to be as open-minded as possible to everyone, as long as they are doing the same thing to me. I love animals, especially raccoons. I think they are just adorable (I also have a cat and two dogs).

I have a pear-shaped body, but I'm also a little bit chubby. I have some scars on my arms and legs (mostly because I scratch my wounds when I'm stressed). Im anemic, which means that I get tired easily. Im also lactose intolerant. I often have random pains, but I don't know why. I also have an anxiety disorder (I bite my nails and lips a lot because of it). I would rather spend time indoors than outdoors, but I will not pass up an opportunity for a picnic :3.

I dislike loud noises and crowded places. I can't speak in front of a large group of people, and I have trouble making eye contact. I also hate when someone is bullied. I like spending time with someone when we both just do our stuff in one room. Im a pretty awkward person at first, but if I get close to you, I become more talkative and funny. People always tell me that when they first saw me, they thought I was intimidating. I often hum some music while doing something.

I think thats all. I apologize if this is chaotic. I never wrote a request. I hope it's not too much. Feel free to not write anything at all if you can't come up with anything <3.

Have a nice day and remember to take care of yourself!

Yandere TFP Megatron

Megatron is a cruel decepticon with a distaste for organics, so when he grabbed you into his servo he went to crush you right before Prime’s optics. He grinned viciously down at you, and your dead stare made him pause. Even the bravest of his kind looked more fearful than you.

Before he could even form a coherent thought, he had transformed around you and flown away. When he got back to the Nemesis he was angry with himself- but he didn’t realize that as he threw you to Knockout, ordering him to watch you.

While you were scared, you did like the quiet of this place. It was almost soothing.

Knockout peered down curiously at you. At your obvious exhaustion, he commented. “If I didn’t know better about your fleshies, I’d say you’re half dead.”

You stared back up at him, not quite making eye contact. He noticed your avoidance, but said nothing as he scoffed and went back to working.

Megatron questioned himself as to why he brought you along, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. He ended up sitting you on a table in his room while he worked. You were mostly quiet, but your curiosity showed as you looked at his computer.

His booming voice asked what you were doing, and you covered your ears. Megatron wasn’t sure why he did it, but he lowered his voice and spoke again. “What are you looking at?”

“....your screen. Sorry.” You bit your nails nervously. Megatron turned away, silent.

It was weeks before he sat you on his shoulder. He didn’t speak, clearly unsure of how to communicate with you. For the first time in millions of years, he was truly unsure of himself.

When he did start talking to you, it was to teach you about his gladiatorial days. He spoke of how he started the revolution, and how he fought against the corruption of the senate.

Eventually you felt comfortable enough to ask questions with him, but you felt nothing but pity. He had been through so much. However, you also felt conflicted- the Autobots are your friends, but you feel like this war has no point anymore other than for Decepticons to get some sort of revenge.

You slowly began to chip away at Megatron’s cold spark, and he cared for you- even if he didn’t show it well. He loved the way you hummed softly your favorite songs, and how content you were to merely sit on his shoulder.

Megatron would often bring you to large forests so you could enjoy the nature he found you enjoyed.

One day, when Megatron was on a comm with Soundwave discussing something, you decided to take off. You wanted to be back with the autobots- not to say that you even hated Megatron after everything you had learned. You ran through the forest, getting turned around almost instantly.

Almost immediately, you were snatched up into the servos of a very furious mech. Megatron had a deep scowl on his face.

“After I bestowed all of the knowledge I had upon you, did you really think I’d let you go?” Megaton squeezed you painfully tight. “Don’t worry, worm. I won’t make the same mistake with you twice.”

Megatron, secretly heartbroken that you’d try to leave after creating a bond, locked you in a cage hanging in his room- with no way to escape his clutches. You would never be allowed out unless Megatron was with you. His trust would be hard to earn back- maybe even take your lifetime.

#yandere #yandere tfp #yandere tfp megatron #yandere megatron #yandere transformers #transformers #yandere transformers prime #transformers prime #megatron #tfp #tfp megatron

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despair-inc · 4 months ago

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Thinking about every movie I saw in theaters (or remember watching in theaters, anyways) in 2024. Kind of a ranked list but the criteria is how much I liked it.

1: The Substance. The unchallenged lead for both "best movie I saw all year" and "favorite movie of the year". The beautifully grotesque child of New French Extremity and USAmerican style Elevated Horror, it has the best performances of the year, oodles of extremely impactful and pointed imagery, and amazing special effects. Just amazing stuff all around.

2: The Wild Robot. Undisputed champion of "best family movie of 2024”, it has beautiful visuals and makes quite a lot out of its simple and heartfelt story about family and community. Can't judge the original dub's performances because in Mexico it was only released in theaters dubbed into Lat Am Spanish, but hats off to the dub cast, they were killing it the entire film.

3: Robot Dreams. Technically a 2023 release, but in Mexico it played in early 2024, so it goes on the list. Amazingly heartfelt and melancholic, I was bawling on the theater. Once again, also just beautiful to look at, an amazing work of animation that functions entirely without dialogue.

4: Inside Out 2. I will always be biased in favor of Pixar because, like most people on this website, I grew up watching their movies, and those movies from 2010 and before are all universally good. That being said, after the stumbled releases of Lightyear and Elemental, this was a surprise by being actually pretty good. That being said, it's held back by having a plot that's basically a retread of the first movie (Riley experiences a stressful life situation and emotions that shouldn't be solely in charge of her mental state take over and fuck shit up), so overall it's a bit weak on that regard. Still, very solid and fun movie, and if The Wild Robot hadn't come out in the same year, it would be the strongest family release of a major USAmerican studio of the year. Possibly the best non-Toy Story sequel Pixar has made.

5: Wicked. It was pretty nice to have a live action musical film that was overall well made and performed and that people actually went to see, unlike shit like Cats or Dear Evan Hansen, or Spielberg's West Side Story which was actually good but no one went to see. People on here have ragged on the lighting and it is kinda bad in some scenes, but when actually watching it, I didn't really notice it, because the rest of the stuff was very compelling. Here's hoping that Part 2 lives up to the hype.

6: Dune 2. Not much to say about this one because I went to see it first thing in the morning after only sleeping like three hours, so I'm pretty sure I slept through like a quarter of the film. The stuff that I do remember was pretty good though, like that one fight scene in Black and White. I need to rewatch this one to give it a fair shot.

7: Deadpool & Wolverine. I'm like 90% sure that this was the only major USAmerican Superhero movie released in 2024, but it still probably would've been the best superhero movie of the year if others had released. I'm kinda hoping that they keep this movie as the final Deadpool movie because while it is pretty good at what it does, the shtick is too worn out. Like, where can Deadpool 4 go? It's not gonna happen, cause DP sells well and Reynolds has developed an allergy to appearing in movies that are creative, but dreaming is free.

8: In A Violent Nature. This is the movie that surprised me the most this year, even if I was already aware of the concept of "a slasher film from the killer's POV". The very sensate and deliberate aesthetics of having no non-diegetic music and constant scenes of our killer walking in the woods seem boring on paper but work very well when you're actually watching it, and when it goes for more traditional slasher film aesthetics, like the kill scenes, it does them exceptionally well. And the extremely tense monologue scene at the end is an amazing finale to cap things off. That being said, it can get pretty slow and I think that the concept only really works for one movie. I read that they're gonna make a second one, and I really hope that they think of a different aesthetic style for it because reusing this one will probably turn part 2 into a slog.

9: Next Goal Wins. First movie I saw this year, and it is thoroughly unremarkable and forgettable. Pretty standard white savior sports story where the main white guy learns to loosen up while the Samoans get good enough at actual football to reach their meager goal of scoring at least one goal in the climactic big game. It had some laughs, and it is the only movie I saw in theaters with an openly transgender character in it, but it's really nothing special or noteworthy. Hell, the most memorable thing about it for me is that the guy who sat in front of me when I watched it spent the whole movie playing games on his phone and blasting my eyes with its light. I wonder if Waititi will make movies worth watching again, or if he's gonna be pegged as peaking with Jojo Rabbit and then falling off.

10: We Live In Time. This movie was surprisingly good. I went to see it on a whim because I had to go pick up some stuff and there was a promo on the ticket prices at the time (30 MXN ticket at Cinemex Fashion Drive, it's a steal even if they recover the money with the popcorn), and I rather enjoyed the non linear structure and the very good performances. Honestly, it just gets a low spot because I've never been into pure romance films so it's a bit unmemorable for me, I ain't gonna watch it a second time.

11: Venom The Last Dance. I guess I didn't count it as a major USAmerican Superhero Movie because Sony's "Spider-Man minus Spider-Man Movie Universe" never felt like major releases, and the Venom movies, regardless of how much I have enjoyed them, are a bit like the cheap knockoff of Deadpool. And just like DP, the third entry is the weakest of the series. Unlike DP, at least we know that they're not gonna milk the series dry because in between the Symbiote dying at the end and the failure of Kraven the Hunter, I'm pretty sure that Sony is just gonna give up. The movie itself is a kinda subpar action film, and while it got me a few laughs and it has a few standout scenes, like Venom dancing with Mrs Chen or Otto Hightower's UFO Conspiracy Theorist family, it's nothing remarkable. It has a very "Movie that plays on Canal Cinco on a sunday morning" vibe.

12: Joker Folie A Deux. I don't need to tell everyone that this movie is bad. It flopped and everyone hated it. I'm actually in the camp that this movie is a bit better than its reputation makes it out to be. If nothing else, I'm giving Todd Phillips props for trying to make a movie that spits on the face of the misaimed fandom of the first one, even if he thoroughly fucked it up. Still, the attempts at making a diegetic jukebox musical fall completely flat, and the performances of Gaga and Phoenix can't save the script like Phoenix did on the first one. I can only recommend checking this one out via the magic of online piracy, it ain't worth money.

13: The Apprentice. This is the movie I hated the most out of all the movies I saw this year, mostly because the things I heard about it made it sound a lot better than it was. It's a political movie that, ultimately, only has the message that Donald Trump is Bad with very little examination of the systemic issues that made him rise to the position he rose to. It is overwrought, the performances can't save the script and it honestly wouldn't have been in theaters if it wasn't an election year. Worst movie I saw in 2024, not even worth pirating.

#movies #movie review #the substance #the wild robot #robot dreams #joker folie a deux #dc joker #venom the last dance #the apprentice #we live in time #dune movie #wicked #inside out 2 #deadpool and wolverine #next goal wins #taika waititi #in a violent nature #honestly the autistic guy really put the two movies about robots and animals bonding on his top three

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fatuismooches · 2 years ago

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IT IS ME, the muzzle anon, hello again

after almost 1 year in hospital, im starting uni this year finally :]

being sick really reminds you how nice it is to be healthy, so while I was thinking about dottore and fragile reader I just had thought that reader probably had days where they felt like they were dying as they were laying on their bed. They already have an unknown disease that makes them weak and then a sudden fatigue hits them one morning and they can't even open their eyes, can barely move their hands, their whole body trembling and such- I would be very dramatic when I am sick, literally crying and thinking, "Yep, this is the end."

so imagine going, "I think this is the day I die..." to Il Dottore, tHE DOCTOR.

Dottore just goes, "No. 🤨"

To be honest it probably isn't the end it just their body trying to fight the sickness but reader just immediately starts writing their last will and testament.

"For Boattore, I left my drawings, for Zandy, the plushies I have, for Clowntore, I-"

Then the next day reader is okay, and like, "😐"

(As okay as they can be at least)

So Dottore and the other segments are repeating everything reader said to tease them now.

(Yeah they love reader, yes they were worried, but now that they are okay they are allowed to make fun of them)

swoosh

have a nice day <3

MUZZLE ANON... i just want you to know the muzzling Dottore brain rot still lives in my head rent-free. And congratulations on starting uni! That's such a huge step and I wish you the best, I'm very proud of you and hope you'll do amazing ❤️

Mhm, fragile reader definitely had bad days like that. The pain can be so bad and all you can do is lay helpless, unable to do anything besides wait for it to pass. Even when it's not physical pain, sometimes you simply don't even have the motivation to get up. It's just... really bad sometimes and you can't even predict when it comes, so it just hits you out of nowhere. And every time, you can't help but stress out and worry about what will happen next. Will the pain pass over? How long will it stay? These relentless headaches, aches, and sores? When can you finally get back to normal and go about your life? It seems like an eternity from now, and you can't help but wonder what will happen until then...

The first time you say that he nearly drops the vial he's holding. Did he miscalculate your pain? Is it more grave than he thought? He's going through all his notes again and asking you a bunch of questions rapidly. Until he realizes you're just (mostly) joking and being extra paranoid. His response is always to not be so nonsensical as he sighs every time. You're not going to die while he's around, he says matter of factly. Writing your will is... sort of a morbid kind of amusement for you. Yeah, ignoring the fact that you're planning for your own death, it's kind of fun to decide which segment will receive a little piece of you. There's a section for each of them with a mini-essay. Ahem, just don't let little Zandy know about this because you don't want to deal with a crying child blubbering about how you're going to leave him. And YEAH i imagine fragile reader says some pretty funny and weird things when they're sleeping or half-conscious. Segments are definitely listening in and write down everything you say to bring up later 😭

#smooches talks #muzzle anon #fragile reader <3 #dottore love notes <3 #😭😭 reader leaving something for all the segments tho has serious angst potential that i'm NOT going to get into #anyway love love love this anon! 🫶🫶 i love the idea of joking with them as a way to cope

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rene-hl-trashcan · 6 months ago

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Initially, I don't think that this merited any posts but the Concerned Asian Mom™️ within me insists that it should be posted as some sort of cautionary post for young artists.

About half an hour ago, I received a DM asking for a commission. It doesn't look suspicious at first, but it doesn't take long for it to look suspicious.

So, this person asked me to draw their dog, which at first, I was like, cool. I rarely draw animals. Seem like a fun challenge and the pupper looks cute. They asked for 3 poses and with different background each. Since I'm no good in drawing backgrounds, I point it out just for the sake of transparency.

This is the first red flag for me.

I used to do commissions back in college and very rarely people who pay this kind of money would be so nonchalant with their request. Usually, they are a bit more demanding and particular.

Second red flag : They insist on paying upfront without sketches/drafts. Nobody does that.

Third red flag : They insist very persistently despite my concern and refusal.

Look, lady. I don't give a hoot if you're a "busy businesswoman" cuz honestly, I am a busy career woman too. This looks hella sus from the get-go.

Fourth red flag : Desperately trying to convince me to proceed with the payment.

It looks like a scam, so I don't care if by the sliver of chance this person is actually honest, I'm gonna treat the whole thing as a scam. I Googled "art commission scam" too and the Reddit topic below is literally the first link I saw :

It was such a common scam.

Look, art and writing are stress relief for me, and I have no intention of ever making it a side hustle. My IRL job pays my bills and gives me plenty extra for the nonsense I splurge on; so, I personally don't care much about losing a luxurious commission offer. I know the pressure to finish a gig would ruin the joy these two hobbies offer me.

However, I'm also aware that some people depend on art as a side hustle to survive the current world economy, especially young artists. I know college-age me some good years ago would be really torn in refusing this kind of offer because back then I was a broke college student without none of my current stable income.

Hence, please be careful while accepting commissions. These people will hound you aggressively once they proceed with their scam, and knowing that not all people would remain unyielding under pressure, it could be dangerous.

That's all for today's cautionary tale. Thank you for scrolling through my post.

P/S : Just to be super clear, I don't mind if someone asks nicely whether I'm willing to do something for them; be it draw, write or take screenshots. I did art trades before. I took screenshots for people for free because I think their MCs are pretty. If I like the subject you gave me, it's no different than when I do those with my MCs as the subject. It's still fun. I still benefit from your request. It's not a bother as long as you don't be overly demanding and ruin the fun for me.

#Art #scam alert #scam warning #art scam #commission scams

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eponymous-rose · 3 months ago

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Tuesday!

I continue to be really impressed by this exercise class - I was the only one who signed up for my timeslot today (it varies week to week, apparently) and she messaged me just to make sure I was okay with having a private lesson instead of being with the group! No extra charge, no cancellation, just a great one-on-one discussion and class. Got some great advice on improving my push-up form and protecting my dang hyperextending knees. And Clara got to roll around on my yoga mat to her heart's content!

Off to work! I futz around a bit and realize belatedly I was supposed to be in an hour earlier than I thought, so I have to take a rideshare to campus instead of the bus, whoops. I get 100% free public transit through work (as someone who's ridden city buses to school/work since I was 10, this still blows my mind!), so I try not to sweat it when I have the odd Lyft/Uber trip since my transportation budget would be $0 otherwise. Nice to get to campus with time to spare!

First up is the faculty candidate talk - he does great! Very funny and also full of great science. He looks a little frazzled afterwards, but a couple colleagues and I scoop him up and bundle him out for bahn mi and soup. We stop for coffee on the way back and show him our favorite view on campus, which actually floors him (we live in a very, very pretty part of the world!). There's a conversation that reminds me that we maybe don't all have the same experiences, because everyone starts sharing what they did after finishing their PhD dissertations, and it's like, oh, I hiked in the Alps and spent some time in Switzerland, or, ah yes, I traveled Southeast Asia for three months. When I defended, I did get to visit a few friends across the US, which was AMAZING, but really it was just stalling a couple weeks while I waited for my furniture to reach my new home and stressing over where my paycheck was coming from while my visa stuff was being processed. Slightly less exciting!

We get in a little late, so colleagues and I sneak into the back row of the faculty meeting (we have about 20 faculty members, so our tardiness is definitely noted, whoops). There's a very silly moment where our chair is trying his darnedest to explain this strategic planning thing, and one colleague sitting next to me waves at another to pull down the blinds so we're not getting sun in our eyes. Colleague at the window makes eye contact, adopts a "what? huh? what's that you want?" look, and starts inching the blinds down, pauses to pretend to look confused, then puts it back up, frowns at it like that's not quite right, then puts it back down. Colleague starts waving and pointing downward more and more exaggeratedly as window-colleague grins more and more evilly and pretends he's never seen a window or a set of blinds in his life. We're all giggling in the back, worse than freshmen, and get a glare from the chair. Shush, you miscreants.

(I'm reminded of sitting in as a graduate student on a faculty meeting and being really intimidated until I got there and realized everyone was practicing swiveling on the fancy new chairs. It was all fun and games until someone gave an emeritus faculty a little push and he slowly drifted out the door with a quiet "nooooooooooo")

Anyway, the meeting itself is probably full of useful information, but I make the mistake of checking my e-mail and my to-do list grows nine items during that hour. Ugh. Can't quite manage to be in a bad mood, though - when I get back to my office I remember I picked up a slice of white chocolate banana bread at the coffee shop! This will fuel my remaining e-mails. I close my office door (I like to have an open-door policy, but my cheat code is occasionally locking the door and putting a post-it note up that says "I am here - please knock!") and grab my headphones to get an e-mail montage soundtrack going.

Okay! Item one: reply to my undergrad research assistant's e-mail proposing an abstract for her symposium submission. I give her some suggestions and help her out with accessing some data about Scandinavian thunderstorms she may want to include in her studies.

Next! I'm working on getting my budget settled for this wildfire project and the numbers just keep not quite numbering. I got an e-mail that I think summarizes what's going on, so I need to go in and fix it, plus add wording from the grants manager. It's so much better than I thought it would be, since it's just a typo rather than an error with unattributed funding. Phew. Get that done and sent off.

Next! In the aforementioned grants discussion, there's some weird indirect funding stuff going on that I need to clarify since my grants are starting to run dry and still need to fund 2.5 months of my summer salary. I send three paragraphs and then kinda give up and also link the e-mail address of the grants coordinator at the parent institution that will be disbursing the subcontract I'll be paid under. I know less than nothing about this financial stuff, man, but I'm trying my best.

Flights are being booked for my trip out to speak on a panel and visit a university halfway across the country! Exciting! I approve the flights they've chosen for me (direct!!!!).

I got an e-mail with some alarmingly close deadlines for a grant proposal I haven't fully written yet - I send a message to my co-author on the grant checking whether she can also get all this done in three weeks or so, and then offer to coordinate with the grants team to shift that deadline (the sponsor does not have a stated deadline, so all deadlines are pretty artificial here, at least). Things are further complicated by said co-author being on an eight-week field campaign in such a remote location that she must ski/snowshoe to get there.

Last week, a friend in computer science sent me an e-mail introducing me to a cool person he met doing research on campus that made him think of me. We exchange a couple e-mails and decide to attempt to grab coffee (weather permitting) a week from Friday! She sends another e-mail saying she was talking about my research with a colleague and he'd love to come as well - is this a new research partnership in the making??? 👀

I stop putting it off and reply to the student who's finishing his Master's remotely, offering some times to meet. I'm finding his situation extremely frustrating, but it would be great to get him the Master's and get him on his way!

Time to clear the inbox. I keep everything in a very nested set of folders and I have about 100 e-mails to clean up. Having to do this really makes sure nothing falls through the cracks (and my goodness, can I find things when I need to now!), but it's a bit of a slog.

Ah, shoot, forgot to submit reimbursement for lunch. I should do that sooner rather than later, since the itemized receipt is handwritten and just floating around my wallet. We were *way* under per diem (part of why I love this place is that you can get a good-sized lunch for under $10, which is basically impossible in a city this expensive!), and no alcohol, so the whole process is relatively painless. Whew.

Back to e-mail cleanup. Notification that my Master's (soon to be PhD?) student officially has access to 500,000 CPU core-hours and 10,000 GPU core-hours on a supercomputer for the next three years of his project! Woohoo! The e-mail addresses him as Dr., which is a liiiiiittle premature, but maybe it'll get him thinking of the possibilities...

A couple people reply-alled on a giant newsletter asking to be unsubscribed (there's a big button at the bottom, but hey), which has led to someone replying to them to say he actually quite likes these e-mails, hahaha.

Aha! My colleague in the mountainous wilds replies to say a three-week deadline bump works great for her. I broach the subject with the grants team. Hopefully they'll be cool with it!

I get invited to renew one of my appointments as associate editor - I'm cool with that, since it's about as many papers as I was reviewing, anyway. May as well get some extra credit for it.

I got an e-mail about nominating undergrad students for a leadership workshop opportunity - they're particularly aiming for students who have potential but are quiet/shy, and one comes to mind immediately. We can only nominate a couple people as a faculty, so I make a note to chat about this with another faculty member I've been meaning to grab coffee with at some point. That can wait for later this week - the deadline isn't until late March.

OKAY. E-mail is cleared, only half an hour later than I wanted to go home. It's still a little light out, even! I'm racing the last of my laptop's battery power here! Onward!

#eponymous academia tag #eponymous job tag

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laura1633 · 1 year ago

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Charles officially introducing Max as his boyfie to his family... im sorry i just read a fic that goes like that and it's so soft i think i died

Aww I love soft Lestappen. I am sure Charles' family would be happy with Max, he seems like really good boyfriend material 🥰 I imagine Arthur and Lorenzo would be amused because they've heard Charles talking about his rivalry with Max for so long and now he is on his arm and they are being all soft with each other.

Just throwing out this tiny little random drabble (not exactly about Charles introducing Max to his family but more about him wanting to introduce Max) :

“What do you think of this shirt?” Charles holds a navy shirt up in front of him so Max can take a look. It’s one he’s worn a few times before, nice and simple.

“Blue?” Max grins, “Of course it is perfect”

“Really?” Charles frowns as he takes another look at the shirt in his hands, “Maybe I should pick something else”

“You look good in anything” Max hums as he lays sprawled out on the bed watching Charles fuss around, “so I don’t know why you are so stressed”

“I’m not stressed” Charles mumbles, it’s meant to come off as care free but even to his own ears it sounds rather defensive, “I just want to at least look good”

“At least?”

“Nothing” Charles shakes his head and goes back to the wardrobe. He’s pretty settled on the navy blue but it gives him chance to try and compose himself. He knows he shouldn’t really be so het up about having to go to another family occasion alone. He’s done it enough times. It's not even that big a deal, some distance cousin's engagement party. It’s selfish to want to have Max with him but he so wants to be one of those loved up couples that spend the evening making lovey eyes at their significant other.

“Tell me what’s wrong and maybe I can make it better”

Charles closes his eyes and melts back against Max’s body as the Dutchman hops off the bed and wraps his arms around his waist.

Max has come so far. So, so far. And it really is beautiful to see. The Dutchman is more at ease with who he is now. He’s not afraid of being open with Charles. Not afraid to kiss Charles. To touch Charles. To love Charles.

But in secret.

Which is fine. Charles knows it’s fine. He doesn’t need everyone to see their love in order to know it exists. He experiences it, he feels it, he lives it. It’s just -

“Nothing” Charles smiles. If there is one thing he isn’t going to do it’s push, “I am just not in the mood for a party, I would prefer to be with you”

“You don’t have to stay long” Max leans into Charles’ neck and kisses up the length of it slowly, “I’ll be here waiting when you get back.”

“I know” Charles tilts his head to the side so Max can slot in easier, “It’s … yeah… it will be fine. I am just going to have a shower. The sooner I get there the sooner I can be home.”

Charles makes sure to give Max a kiss before wiggling out of his arms and scooting through to the shower.

It really is all fine. Charles will go to the party, people will tease him about being perpetually single and then he will leave and fall into bed with Max who will make him forget about everything else.

The Monegasque makes quick work of showering and changing. The navy blue shirt gets put on and it looks fine. It doesn’t really matter what he looks like anyway, most eyes will be on the happy couple.

“I went for the white so we don’t match” Max grins as Charles walks into living room and sees his boyfriend smoothing down the creases of his shirt, “Do I look okay?”

“Where are you going?” Charles’ heart is racing but he’s not sure if he’s getting ahead of himself.

“To an engagement party” Max takes a deep breath and lets the tension out of his shoulders, “As long as you want me to come”

“You want to come with me?” Charles still feels like he’s missing something.

“I want to come with you” Max steps close enough to circle his arms around Charles’ waist, “I don’t want you to be yourself” Max leans in and presses his lips against Charles’

“You don’t have to come” Charles feels choked up all of a sudden, “My family will all be there and my ..”

“Friends. I know” Max soothes his hands up Charles’ arms, “I think it is about time I met them all. Don’t you think?”

Charles nods, not quite trusting his voice if he were to talk right now. His heart is fluttering and there are butterflies in his stomach.

“I’m ready. I promise” Max interlaces his hand with Charle's, “Come on, if we don’t go soon there won’t be enough time to show me off to everyone”

Max grabs Charles' coat and helps the Monegasque into it before grabbing his own and leading Charles out of the apartment.

Charles can't stop grinning as Max keeps their hands clasped together. The Monegasque's fingers tingle with excitement as it hits him that they really are holding hands in public for the first time ever.

#Laura1633 asks #Lestappen drabble #Lestappen fanfiction

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polyamorousmood · 1 year ago

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hi! i'd love to get some sympathy/advice/etc from other ppl about this. so long story short my girlfriend (wonderful amazing great i am so happy with her) has a boyfriend, and i at first their rs was meant to be ephemeral, but then things changed and they realized they could make a longform commitment work out, so they tried! problem is, during the trial run, the guy realized poly wasnt working for him and he failed to communicate this well, so it caused a situation where he was very much just fishing for my partner to get in a closed rs with him. when she expressed how hurtful and wrong that was, he apologized and changed his behavior and after some more various ups and downs we've now settled into a pretty good situation where he's giving polyamory a serious try and seems sincerely committed to making it good! i trust my gf wholeheartedly and i want nothing but the best for them both, and for that brief period of time where it was ok we even had 3person dates and really special interactions, so i came to sincerely like guy a decent bit and i am cautiously but sincerely optimistic. however, by having to admit shit to himself, he's now of the mind that he'd like a much more segmented-off rs with my partner, which is fine, but also the resentment he felt towards not being able to have my gf all to himself made him lose his positive feelings towards me and now he expresses a (his words) 'goodwilled indifference' and we havent even Talked since he tried to effectively ultimatum my gf out of being poly. and that is just SO hurtful when i know i did absolutely nothing wrong to warrant the loss of what i felt was a genuinely precious and positive connection, and like, the first time ive had the chance to have a metamour! like as someone who really cares about learning how to admit fault i really cannot stress enough how much i didnt do jack shit here i was just vibing and trying to be nice and now it's just this sad thing i have to deal with. i know it has everything to do with his own preferences and insecurities and nothing to do with me, but i still feel a big child-like sense of betrayal and injustice and it makes me want to be mean and bitter and defensive ("well if you dont give a shit about me and wanna pretend i don't exist, then im gonna do the same! how do you like that, huh?" type beat). i know those feelings are to be worked with and worked through instead of acted upon, but it's still hard :-( i dont really miss *him*, really, i just miss not being in a polycule that has a member who struggles so much with polyamory. and though i trust her deeply, i am still sad and worried that this is a precarious situation that can end up hurting my partner and hampering her ability to feel free and happy in polyamory, which only adds to my mistrusting of the guy. anyone else in a similar situation, havin' to work with a poly-newbie metamour or something similar? im not crazy for getting bad vibes, despite my best hopes for them? thank you either way, i dont know enough poly people irl and ive been bursting with this shit for a bit so it helps even to just ramble it out

Yeah, I've been in similar places. Just putting the read more immediately because I don't have a good pithy introduction. But uh, TL;DRI guess? 🤷‍♀️: its totally fair for you to struggle with some negative feelings. But you are still in it together (even if he's pretending you don't exist) and the only way to the other side is through.

Its shitty, its exhausting, its infuriating. And it's all the more frustrating that you like... don't even WANT to be mad at him cause he DID apologize and now he IS trying to change the shitty parts, so you WANT to encourage that. Feels very

And it puts your mutual partner in the tough spot of having to balance⚖️ things between you two if he's unwilling to talk to you. And like, you're stuck waiting for him to come around, you can't even really DO anything, its all on HIM to prove he's not going to be an asshole forever.

And you kinda resent him for causing this much trouble basically all on his own! And then thinking he can still get all the good shit after stirring the pot! Like he tried to break you up and now you have to be the bigger person?? What kinda bullshit--

Fucking. Sucks.

I do have some advice, though as with most things, its not magic 🪄

🤬Be mad for a little bit! Allow yourself to feel it. You're not gonna wallow 🐖there, but let it hit you full force how much you dislike being in this bullshit situation. Maybe have a cry about it or throw some darts at his picture 🎯. Then, and only then,

Set it aside. Set the anger aside in your mind, set the situation aside in your discussions. Say "yup, sucks. Moving on..." and enjoy the good parts of your life.

As part of that, remember polyamory is a big ask for people who've never done it before. Him even just politely ignoring you is likely, in his mind, him compromising on everything he's believed in for years and the fundamentals of what his life will look like. That's a big deal. It's hard to do after there was previously a higher standard set, but try to give him some credit for that anyway. (Again. You are probably going to have to Be Mad first to be able to do this. That's okay. Don't skip ahead.)

I don't think having approximately the same attitude back is necessarily a bad strategy. Maybe don't do it with the petulance you presented in the ask 😝 but if you're able to just gently, non-judgmentally accept neutrality as a mode of operating with him... might save you a lot of trouble honestly🤷. Warmth is great and all, but I think it runs the risk of you burning out and feeling greater resentment down the line if it stays one sided (but you know yourself better than I do, so if you can handle it, power to you).

Know your feelings about this really well. Know what you're good with 👍, know what bothers you but you're willing to do for the good of the polycule😖, and know what really upsets you👎. Is this something you can make work long term? What changes would you need to have it work long term (including progress from him, accommodations from your partner, etc)?

Consider confronting him directly. You'll know better if that's actually a good idea in this situation than I will, but consider it. It may help you move past things to air your feelings, it may help him understand you better and vice versa, and it may lay the groundwork for a more functional relationship down the line. I must admit bias here. It is VERY important to me that things can be relaxed with my metas. The idea of refusing to engage with me feels like they're refusing to engage with the very concept of polyamory, and I that cannot work in my life - like, I run a poly blog you can guess how I value polyamory 😂 If you can be comfortable with something closer to parallel polyamory, this may be unnecessary.

And of course, through all of this, you have to talk to your partner. All of it. If you have a tendency to martyr yourself so as not to stress your partner out, overpower that tendency for this one. You are NOT doing your partner any favors by doing bottling it up. 🍾

For example, earlier I said your partner is going to have to balance things between you and your meta. It may be tempting to think you can spare her some of that by shrinking your feelings and needs, so maybe you'll just bite your tongue. However, she has to do the work anyway, and forcing her to work with incomplete information actually makes the balancing that much harder. While you shouldn't harp on them about it, she should know where you're at in all this. You owe your partner the ability to make informed decisions, and your happiness and ability to sustain a certain set-up is going to be an important factor to them! Tell them your misgivings, tell them if its going to take you some time to forgive him his bullshit, tell them if you are okay with something in the short term but don't know if you can spring it long term, tell them if you need a break from thinking about the whole damn situation. (And of course, as always, tell your partner when something feels good or is going well 😊)

It can be recovered. It will require patience. Hang in there. 🤗 I admire your commitment to figuring it out, and it sounds like you have a splendid partner who is just as committed to making it workable. I'm rooting for you all 💙💖🖤

#bad metamours #poly relationship advice #ask box is always open

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deusexmachinawitch · 1 year ago

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Day #8, #9 & #10 Slade Subliminal Self Challenge

Subs Listened: Problem Solving Potion, Evolution, I Am, Obelisk, Pillar, Nomad.

Time Listened: Short loops of around 15-20 minutes each sub. I did end up listening to "Pillar" overnight by accident one of the days.

Other methods: Robotic affirmations, visualization. Didn't listen to any other subs, just some meditation tapes. I did some self-care and decided to indulge in LoAss content videos for two days tho.

Today’s results:

(Day #8)

-Got a haircut for free, I look gorgeous.

-People buying me a lot of things for me out of the blue so I would look nice, including press-on nails.

-Got free dinner.

-Actually the day was really nice and peaceful at home and work, which is pretty rare especially at work so I am really happy and calm.

(Day #9)

-Got free clothes.

-Got free lunch.

-Someone that I really care actually told me they got me a surprise gift and that I'll see it next week, so I should look forward to it.

-That same person caring for my opinion and being grateful for my help and care towards them.

-Suddenly having custom-made catering in a networking event that we didn't expect to have actual catering in.

-My team getting prioritized in an work event that we didn't expect to get advantages with. This really increased my team's morale and everyone seems really happy and working better.

-Someone who's known to be a really hard person to deal with but with a lot of influence saying that they really respect me and that I have their support. Apparently, they were magically related to someone I've been caring so deeply and helping them with their dreams (I taught them about LoAss) and because they feel much better than ever before since LoAss, this person is really grateful and wants to help me in everything they can. LoAss does really work in magical ways, even creating links in people I would NEVER imagine they would actually be related in some way.

(Day #10)

-People highly loving me and respecting me after taking a step forward myself and taking a hard decision without hesitation. Everyone started following me and praising me.

-Actually having half of the day off and being able to relax. Another calm day at work, I really needed to manifest this good vibe at work.

-Someone hinting a gift for me. Lately I'm getting a lot of random gifts from people I wasn't expecting.

-Getting hired by someone I wanted to be hired with.

-SP being nice after a stressful rough patch he had.

-A highly respected person actually going after me for advice and comfort after a bad experience with a person in our field.

-------------------------------------------------

Lately my life is finally calming down even though it is one of the most stressful moments at my work since something big is happening for us.

I am loving the gifts and the tranquility, I guess I do love being spoiled. I want to still be spoiled and live an effortless life forever.

#law of assumption #loa tumblr #loablr #manifestation #loa blog #affirm and persist #loassumption #loassblog #loa success #neville goddard #satella's manifestation experiments #manifestation challenge #manifestation experiment

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detectivereads · 6 months ago

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Sally’s Lament by Mari Mancusi

100/5

This post is for fan entertainment, I am not being paid.

Warning! This review will contain SPOILERS! Read at your own risk!

Hi everyone,

Ok I had seen this series floating around for a while, but I honestly thought that this was going to be a re-telling of the fairy tales. When I was in my old fairy tale era where I was reading all the old fairy tales from Brothers Grimm and the other author’s boy was, I was surprised on how dark some of them were. The original Pinocchio good grief, that was super dark!

So, I wasn’t really interested in the series until I bought this book, from a classic movie that is still reining supreme I couldn’t walk away. Not to mention this is a good book for the Christmas TBR. I will say this after reading a few chapters in this book I went looking for the whole series and started to pick out some new books to collect. I can’t wait for Set in Stone and Princess of Thieves to be released to book shops.

Now this story, It’s the night of Halloween and all through the streets, we have monsters and ghouls making a scary scene. Off to the side we see an awe-struck rag doll gazing around.

(…. I said this whole line in the style of Night before Christmas. Why?)

This book starts off where Sally has just put Dr. Finklestein to sleep, so she can see the Halloween celebrations in the center of town. Sally is having an emotional turmoil of when it will be her turn to experience things. Sally thinks of the things that she can use to help elevate Halloween with her potions or her ability to dismember herself.

During the first part of the book, you can see Sally being jealous of Jack. While she is shut away not being able to explore and experience normal stuff in Halloween town like the others, Jack is the center of attention everyone loves him.

After Sally runs off when the Doc catches her, she is in the graveyard over hearing Jack lamenting about his wants for a new Halloween or a new experience. Sally gets caught by Jack and they talk a bit. Sally does let Jack know that Dr. Finklestein is very strict and doesn’t really let her do anything, Jack even offers to talk to Doc about his treatment but Sally declines.

When I read this, I didn’t really know how to feel about this, Jack is offering a chance to Sally that she could have some freedom, but Sally wants to tackle her own problems head on, which I can also understand too.

I will speed through this next bit: Sally has a vision of sugar plums, and it leads her to holiday doors (Zeros also helps here too). Sally then finds herself in Christmas town.

Sally wanders through this cheery place, watches everything in wonder, she meets some elves, but Sally senses that something is up. That some of these elves are really stressing about doing nice things. An example of this Sally met with an elf that was making sweets, Sally wanted to try the sugar plums but remembers she had no money to pay. When she is about to leave the elf offers some for free, because it’s a nice thing to do.

Later Sally got a snowball thrown at her and sees the culprit a child laughing with their friends and stuck their tongue out at her, she knows a prank and takes it with a good humor but makes the comment naughty. To which toy soldiers surround the child. The child pleads and makes excuses but in the end the soldiers stuff the child into a bag and start marching off.

Sally tries to rescue the child, but someone stops her and tells her it’s not a wise idea to mess with soldiers.

Sally meets a porcelain doll named Abigail. Abigial is envious of Sally of being a rag doll, being made out of glass she has to be very careful, and Abigial loves Sally’s dress. (Which everyone should, it’s a very pretty dress) Abigial tells Sally if she was a rag doll she would be able to skate and do more physical activities.

Later Sally meets the big man himself, Santa Claus. They have a lovely conversation about Christmas. But then a new character comes in, and this guy screams bad guy; the way Sally describes him, he looks like the others in Christmas town but, this person is tall like Jack, not only that this guy has a goatee, super pale with long fingernails and he wears a three-piece suit. This guy’s name is Jingle. Sally is seeing red flags, even this guy’s smile is evil as well. Santa introduces Sally to the Supreme Judge of Christmas Town Judge Jingle.

I kid you not when I was reading Jingle’s description, I was getting major Judge Doom vibes from Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

Santa explains that Jingle has been helping him run things in town since the toys the kids want are becoming too much with them wanting electronics and more elaborate toys. So, Jingle takes the helm of watching/monitoring the children and the Naughty or Nice List.

I am sure you can see where this is going. Santa is too busy to see that his right-hand man is evil, and Santa is too busy to see that this guy is ruling Christmas town with an iron fist.

Now there is a toy side story, where all the toys of Christmas Town compete to win a talent show so they can get the honor of going with Santa, it’s kind of like the Island of Misfit toys from the Ruldoph movie, the toys want to have their own little girl or boy to be with, but Santa can only take one toy out of them with them.

*Cue rant*

Even in that movie I never understood why not take all of the toys that would make less work for the elves and Santa have to work. Which you would think with such a busy holiday like Christmas Santa would think “ok I have all these childless toys I will take them all from Christmas town and give them homes with children which would half production for the elves where they can focus on the more elaborate gifts”. After watching that movie every year, you can’t help but think: “Why”?

*End Rant*

As the story progresses, you get the picture that Mr. Jingle is evil, (shocking I know) he is taking anyone in Christmas Town who is not nice and makes them disappear, and Sally’s friend Abigail, who helps her escape after Sally scares everyone at the talent show, was taken by Mr. Jingle.

Sally teams up with Jack, and Jack when he gets to Christmas Town and through their whole time in Christmas town enjoying the winter actives of ice skating and hot chocolate ( Jack really like the Hot Chocolate), Sally is mad crushing on Jack and Jack keeps saying the sweetest things “If you weren’t at Halloween town I’d miss you” or “ your amazing”. It’s really cute that Sally keeps getting flustered.

When Jack is going through Christmas town, he is like a skeleton in a horror shop, he starts getting ideas for his own creepy Christmas. Again, Jack is adorable with his wonderment.

Now the new How the Grinch Stole Christmas that came out a few years back, in the opening scene there are Christmas carolers singing very menacingly. When I got to the Cliff Carolers… I have a newfound fear of Christmas carolers. (I will leave it at that)

Now the rest of the book or a good portion of it was Sally and Jack trying to find Abigail in the coal caves where all the naughty ones are sent too (anyone else think of Freaky Fred from Courage the Cowardly Dog when you say Naughty). When they found Abigail in the mines her leg was broken and her spirit was crushed, what child would want an imperfect toy?

To skip to the end (I don’t want to spoil too much) Abigail was taken by Santa and fixed up and she was set under a Christmas tree. Abigail hears her new little girl, but some of the words Miranda had said to her mom gave Abigail anxiety.

When Miranda saw Abigail, she was over the moon, but Miranda saw her leg which poor Abigail has cringed until she heard what Miranda said Abigail is just like me, she has a leg brace too.

I kid you not, that was so sweet, and I am so happy for Abigail.

This was my first book in the Twisted Tale series, and this series has got a new fan. I highly recommend this book it's amazing.

#book review #books recommendations #mysteries #fantasy #ya books #disney #nightmare before christmas #jack skellington #sally the nightmare before christmas #zero #santa claus #christmas #halloween #a twisted tale

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