#this is a lot shorter than i wanted it to srry

[prettyboykatsuki-moved]

give yourself up, my treat | h. sakura

✮ tags ; afab + fem!reader (referred to as girlfriend, descriptions of makeup and nails), implied to be shorter than sakura, omorashi, piss!!!! / wetting, humiliation, lots of crying / embarrassment, praise kink, somewhat public, femdom, depictions of subspace, d/s dynamics, like... soft loving sex as aftercare but this is honestly pure kink lol sorry, 18+

✮ wc ; 4.6k (i dont want to talk about it man)

✮ a/n ; this is piss kink. like. full stop. full stop omorashi. im warning you now that this is piss kink to the highest extent. srry sakura . finally let him top and it was after making him piss himself. rip

also!! while sakura is describing how shameful he feels he is doing this all very willingly. they have a safeword but sakura does not feel any need to use it.

✮ synopsis ; sakura lets you push his limits any way you please.

Sakura listens to everything you say. Like some kind of moron.  

Can’t help himself really, as much as it irritates him to admit. 

That’s always just been his instinct. Any time he finds himself in unfamiliar waters, he leans into that as much as possible. He’s survived a long time by trusting his intuition and a longstanding distrust of other people. It speaks a lot to someone's character usually if Sakura is even mildly inclined to trust them.  

He isn’t sure if it’s his intuition that drives him to follow your order without question, but it’s a strong enough pull he finds he can’t help himself even when he so, so badly wants to resist it.  

It’s not Sakura’s fault. It’s not really yours either.  That’s just how you’ve always been. How its always been. 

(Once, well before you and Sakura were a thing - Nirei had made an observation about you. Called you disarming. Suo laughed and agreed before adding that it felt a little misleading to describe you that way even if it was true. 

 You had just moved into the area after a disciplinary case in your hometown. You’d beat up another student who was bullying your friend, got expelled and moved out on your own after the fact. Cut ties with your family and everything.  

Despite the general air of mystery around you, there was  something about you that Sakura felt pulled him in. For some reason, you never triggered his fight or flight even when it was way easier to do it. For some reason you made him comfortable, always knowing his limits and rarely teasing him even for laughs.  

An undeniable magnetism to you appealed to him a lot more than it repulsed him. ) 

Over the years, Sakura has mulled a lot over your relationship. How you approached him at fifteen with a cool, carefree attitude that left him uselessly infatuated against his will. How you took your time in getting to know him for years. Later, how you confessed. Roped him into the relationship so seamlessly that by the time things happened for real, Sakura felt totally unnerved by how inevitable—how deliberate you were about it right from the start. Something that occurred to him too late.  

You’ve always been good at placating his many troubles too, even when you’re the cause of them. His lingering paranoia, his serious attitude, his inability to deal with compliments. You handle all of it with such grace it’s like those parts of him don’t even exist. Maybe it’s because you went through something similar to him, but you understand all of it well - though you dealt with it in the opposite way he does.  

Your carefree acceptance has proved to have a good influence on him. He’s less anxious and more relaxed around you. He always feels like listening to you, and always does - and after dating for four years, he’s rarely mad about it.  

Sakura always listens to everything you say because some part of him is conditioned too. His body does it instinctively, placing more trust in your words than he does in even himself. You’ve built that in him. 

As troublesome as you can be, you’ve yet to lead him astray.

Embarrassing as it is, a long relationship has instilled a sense of obedience  to you and his… love for you that runs deeper even than his intuition.  

That’s why, when you tell Sakura to— 

“Drink,”  

—he does it without hesitation.  

He drinks another cup of tea in one gulp before wiping the corner of his lip as you smile at him very briefly.  

He no longer feels a clear sense of how much time has passed, despite the fact he’s currently very sober.  

Cramped against the wall, Sakura’s head spins as you lean your weight against his other side and chat with Umemiya over drinks. An airy smile on your lips and gentle look in your eye. Damn you.  

His chest heaves as the thick, warm air enters his lungs and stifles his already difficult breathing further. Dim lights overhead cast shadow underneath the table and only barely illuminate the topside well enough to see the remnants of a long night. Empty glasses, canisters of beer and shochu as well as a variety of small plates cleared of everything apart from stray crumbs littering its surface.  

Around him, his loved ones part into small groups and chat amongst each other. Sakura has no idea what the topic of conversation is anymore. He hasn’t heard anything other than the sound of your voice in his head for an hour and hasn’t spoken up for the last thirty minutes. When someone tries to call him into conversation, he mumbles something before you speak for him and no one bats an eye at this for which Sakura’s fucking grateful.  

It’s so hard to think of anything when his bladder feels this painfully full.  

His head is filled with white noise, red flush crawling even further along his neck until it dusts along his nose - up to the ends of his ears. Under the table, your fingers drift subtly to his inner thigh and push inward. Sakura winces, biting back a pathetic little whimper and glaring at you weakly from the corner of his eyes.  

This is torture.  

You aimlessly draw something in his thigh with your fingers before smiling gently as you nudge another cup of lukewarm tea his way. Leaning in while your conversation partners are all distracted by ordering something else, you whisper into his ear. The light warmth of your breath makes him shake, painful pressure in his abdomen steadily increases as the liquid starts to travel down his throat. Your hand is careful as it slides underneath his black t-shirt and lightly grazes his skin. It’s dark enough to not be obvious. The dull ends of your manicured nails scratch lightly at the soft, lower swell of his belly before the pads of your fingers push hard into his core.  

His body gives into the pressure, eyes widening with fear at the sudden sensation. He barely stifles a gasp before shooting you another mean look you easily ignore.  

“Haruka,” You hand him his cup again, filled to the very brim with liquid. “Drink some more tea,”  

He grits his teeth. 

“Fucksake. I can’t—I can’t.”  

You raise an eyebrow as your hand smooth down his thighs. Your lips quirk up into a smile so smug it nearly rocks him out of his anger.  

“Is that right?”  

A test. He’s always welcome to give up. He knows that. He knows that if he does you won’t hold it against him either. You want him to do it because he wanted too, always. He hates that about you.  

Sakura grinds his teeth and takes a hold of the ceramic tea cup, knocking the lukewarm tea back in one go. Your expression morphs into something pleased and endeared from the corner of his eyes and his heart starts to flutter. He isn’t sure if he’s thankful or not for all the people around, for the environment.  

It gives you free reign to lean even further into him and whisper the words he’s been desperately aching to hear all evening.  

“Good boy,” You hum, careful and deliberate. A innocent kiss gets placed on his cheek, the lipgloss dampening his skin. “You’re being so, so strong.”  

The words him melt him unwittingly. From the top of his head to the tips of his toes, the rush of affection threads through his nerves and unwinds his sense of danger further. Enough that he might slip completely. He has to hold it until the clock hits midnight. Just until then. You’ll take a cab home and Sakura will relieve himself finally, finally. It’s seventeen more minutes until he can go home and empty his bladder. He can’t screw up now.  

This is the first time you’ve made Sakura hold in public. You’ve always been considerate enough to do it at home where the safety net of your mutual understanding and familiar bathroom are there even if he fails to keep it in. Even if he pissed himself in your living room or in your bedroom - it can be dry cleaned or tossed. Most of all there’s no one to explain it too.  

In public it’s different. He could pretend that he’s  drunk and while it wouldn’t be less fucking embarrassing  - at least it’s understandable. Sakura is sure that’s part of the reason you chose a place like this do to attempt such a public play. To give him the out, just in case.  

But regardless, the shame and humiliation of not being able to hold it in front of everyone he knows is a threat. It’s just so goddamn embarrassing. So horrible and awful. The anxiety makes his stomach churn but he can’t focus on a damn thing else.  

He has to go. He has too.  

He always whines about how much he hates this but you both know he doesn’t entirely mean it. It’s not that he likes this miserable sensation, as much as he likes how you get off on it. How sadistic it turns his unusually kind and light-hearted girlfriend.  

 You’ve always relished in Sakura’s shame like the freak you are. Pure pleasure on your face and absolute adoration as you watched Sakura break apart slowly and guide him through it with hushed whispers. Watching  the light color of his jeans or joggers stain dark from wetness or watch him be jostle around enough to almost piss but not enough to give him actual relief.  Teasing him until he trickles and makes his own boxers damp enough to be uncomfortable—to be cognizant  of the fact he’s pissed himself helplessly while not being able to take care of it on his own. Not without your explicit permission. 

You’ve done all sorts of play together. Usually, you have and indoor date and movie night where Sakura knocks back a few liters over of water over long few hours and gets increasingly desperate. And you get him hard during that, always sure to tease him until he’s just on the edge of wetting himself.  

You always shower together afterwards. Yet, you don’t hesitate to touch Sakura’s soft, piss soaked cock with reverence either way. Quick to praise him, whether or not he’s failed or succeeded in holding it. Despite how shameful the whole thing is and how much he protested it at the start  - some part of him deep, deep down can admit he sort of likes it. Or at least, he likes the pleasure he gets from you when you take the reigns.  

It feels good, though he really resents even kind of admitting that. The relief from holding and holding and holding and then finally getting to let go is just as good every time. Pissing himself always feels good in the moment.  

And you’re always so aroused by him after. He likes that way more than everything else being frank. Likes the way you get wet over his humiliation. Likes how softly you stroke and lick his cock when he’s all cleaned up, eyes lidded and full of pure love as he gets to cum too  - another reward for holding in so well. He loves the warm whispers of good boy against his neck and shoulders when you finally sink down on his length and the way you feel when he holds you in his lap and buries his face into your shoulder.  

All of that feels so much better when he does what he’s told and he likes listening to you. So even though it’s usually against his best interest in conditions like these - he bites his tongue and continues to drink until he feels like he’s sating your appetite, silently ignoring the ballooning in his bladder only getting worse with each pass of breath.  

And he drinks, and drinks, and drinks until the clock hits midnight.  

You’re deliberately brutal in the last seventeen minutes. In that time, you make Sakura down at least another half liter of liquid and continue to tease him all the way until the izakaya closes. He’s antsy by the time the night ends. His friends slowly disperse outside and go home in different directions until it’s just the two of you waiting for a taxi to come pick you up.  

Sakura is counting the fucking seconds.  

He needs to go,  but he doesn’t want to piss himself in the taxi. His legs are crossed, shifting his weight anxiously as you hold his hand and smile plainly like nothing in the world is going on. 

Another two minutes until the cab arrives, another twelve to go home. You hum to yourself as you reach your hand up and caress the back of his neck,  palm brushing the trimmed hair and sliding slowly over his rapid pulse and flush skin. With no one around, you don’t bother hiding your intentions. You slide your hand just into the waistband of his black jeans, just above his soft cock.  

His brows raise high as your eyes lock.  

And then you push at that angle - push hard enough he feels a slight trickle. Not enough to stain his light-wash jeans, but enough that the fabric of his underwear is noticeably damp. Sweat forms at his temple from a mix of stress and shame - eyes screwed closed as he curses. He’s afraid to look at you but does anyway.  

You’re smiling just as warmly as he thought you’d be. His voice cracks under the weight.  

He thinks this is the hardest it’s ever been. The pressure is so much stronger when there’s stakes and Sakura is mildly horrified. And he has to go so bad, so bad he can’t think of anything else.  

“Fucking—,” He crumbles, feeling shameful and red faced and lightheaded as he admits this to you with trembling lips and terrified eyes. “Dunno if I can make it home, I need to - “  

You stand in front of him and push up slightly to kiss him. It’s a nice distraction. Your soft, sweet lips salve his nerves just a touch. You gaze up at him lovingly.  

“It’s okay baby, promise. Home soon.”  

The words of protest die on his lips. Despite being taller than you, Sakura finds himself feeling so incredibly small. So incredibly helpless and so, so dependent on you in that moment he hardly knows what to do with himself. It usually takes him longer to get like this. You’re the only that can bat for him if he really does wet himself. He’s doing everything you say, being obedient, chasing after the familiar high of the aftermath and it’s sinking him so deep into that headspace. He feels suspended in air.  

He grips your hands a little tighter and you smile at him. His brows furrow.  

“Wanna hold me a little baby? On the way home.”  

He nods feeling as tender as ever and you nod back, kissing his temple.  

“Mm. Good boy. It’s okay.”  

He hides a whimper into your hair as he hugs you from behind, a light laugh leaving your lips when he does. Two minutes feels like two hours.  

The taxi pulls up not long after. You open the doors for him and talk to the driver, giving him your address. Something plays on the radio that gets turned up to give you and Sakura some room as the driver makes way. It’s a short, short drive over to your apartment. Just seven minutes.  

As soon as the driver steps on the gas, Sakura turns his gaze on you pleadingly. And you smile at him, shifting to lay a little against his chest. He buries his face against your shoulder in measured breaths as your other hand comes up to play with his hair.  

“You’re extra whiny today,” You whisper without any malice. A doting edge to your words. “Can’t help it can you? We’re almost home, baby.”  

Sakura bites back another whimper, mustering as much sense into his speech as he can though he hardly wants to talk. Hardly wants to think, either.  

“So close, Haruka. Just a little more and then you can go.” You nudge him with your nose “Such a good boy.”  

“So full,” The words come out hot, on a heavy breath as his hand grips your waist tighter. “Can’t—no more,”  

“Shh,” You soothe. The shared affection between you looks like normal PDA through the reflection in the drivers mirror and it makes him feel even more self-conscious. “Three more minutes, Haru. A minute or two to walk in. Two minutes in the elevator, and another two to get the door unlocked. Nine minutes. You’ve held it for so long. I know you can hold it in a little longer.”  

He grits his teeth and closes his eyes. “Tell me I’m good.”  

“So good baby.” You nuzzle against the crown of his head. “So, so good.”  

The next few minutes feel like a complete blur.  

One more light until the driver pulls into the parking lot of your complex, politely wishing you goodnight before pulling away. Sakura nearly has to lean on you as you walk into the empty elevator and take the trip upstairs. His grip on your hand is tight as you lead him through the corridor, grips even tighter as you fish your keys out from your purse and unlock the door.  

The sound of the lock undoing makes Sakura feel so relieved. You usher him in carefully, his thighs tight and knees nearly buckling from the pressure of his bladder. He’s so full it’s painful, so full it aches and it’s so much he can’t think about anything except that and how much he wants to be free from it. He's delirious and sweaty. He just needs to go so badly.

He tries to rush to the bathroom but jostling around while he walks doesn't work out well.

A looming sense of panic sets in immediately.. He knows what's coming instinctively - the uncontrollable relaxation on his muscles when his body has reached his limit. He looks up at you pleadingly, though he’s not sure what he’s even asking you for.

He can’t think.  Barely moving as something starts to unfold inside of him, crashing into him all at once.

It’s obvious that he’d start to feel the urge to piss when he's comfortable at hom, finally in his own space but— 

He shakes his head, looking at you with blown out eyes.

“I can’t,” He hiccups as he shuffles closer and closer to the living room, teary at his lashline Trying his best to get to the bathroom and failing. “Can’t make it to the—fuck, please, I can’t. It’s.—It’s gonna, I’m gonna  -“  

Your eyes widen in understanding as you crouch just at the entrance alongside him, petting his back.  

“Oh sweetheart,” Your voice is the softest, sweetest sound he’s heard all night. “Poor thing. Shh, it’s okay baby. Let go. It’s alright, I promise. You did so good.”  

Something in him...breaks. Shatters.

His eyes go wide before they blur with tears and piss leaks from between his legs unwittingly. 

Sakura is reduced down to sobbing. His whole body shudders so hard, he’s knees buckling under the weight as the pressure finally stops. He can’t help but listen, even though he’s so, so ashamed of himself.  

Fuck. Fuck, it feels so good.  

Sakura finally, finally lets go. He crumbles under his own weight, shrinking down to his knees as he feels it soak through the layers in a hot rush between his legs. His clothes dampen and drench as he lets out long breaths. You card your fingers through his hair as he sobs through the endless stream. It feels like it’s never going to stop. He can’t open his eyes to look but he can feel the puddle forming underneath him, how it soaks into his jeans and shoes and makes them wet. How ashamed and humiliated he feels being completely unable to stop himself from wetting himself. It flows and flows and flows, testament to just how much he had to drink.  

The entirety of his pant leg is soaked with his own piss and mess. Embarrassment makes him curl up as he’s unable to stop once he starts. It goes on for so long. But it feels so good to let it out. The sheer sense of relief is more of what’s making him sob than anything else.  

Piss trickles down his legs as he heaves through deep breaths and short sobs. He feels your hands cup his face as you bend in a squat, unconcerned with the way it splashes against your shoes or tights. When he finally gets his vision back as you swipe his tears away, you’re looking at him with such reverence he wants to cry all over again.  

“You did so good baby,” You praise, warming him. You kiss him on the lips first before brushing against the crown of his head. “So good. You’re so perfect. Let’s get you cleaned up, hm? Give you you your reward.” 

He sniffles as he stares at you. “You’re such a damn pervert.”  

You laugh a little. “Mm, that’s true. Sorry, baby.”  

__  

Clean-up is always less of a hassle then he expects it to be.  

Maybe because you have a routine for it now, but it doesn’t take very long at all. You do most of the heavy lifting during it which only worsens the feeling helplessness Sakura has been experiencing for the last few hours. He doesn’t make any effort to get away or out from that headspace, though it dies down with time. The promise of a reward has been the only thing keeping him level for hours now and he’d be damned to let it all go to waste after he worked so hard.  

After a long, warm shower and change of clothes  - Sakura finally gets what he wants more than anything.  

Affection and attention.  

In the safety of your bedroom, Sakura feels particularly floaty as he holds you in your lap. Lazy and worn out, he nuzzles himself against your neck as he feels your naked torso squish against his. He’s too embarrassed to tell you verbally like this that he loves you and hopes the nuzzling does the job for him. 

Your nails feel good on his scalp as you card them again through his wet hair. Your skin smells nice too, and you’re soft and warm. The mellow thump of your heartbeat soothes him as you shower him in endless praise. It’s usually impossible for you to do this. Only when he’s bone tired like this do you get the chance.  

Too embarrassing to let you do it unless he’s worked hard for it like he did today.  

Sakura feels his length slide against your pussy and lets out a soft noise. You’re always so wet during this kind of play. It makes him feel wanted in a way he finds cringeworthy and doesn’t dare voice. Still, he doesn’t mind the feeling - aimlessly sliding his hips up and against your slick folds with a huff.  

You do him the favor of moving. Copying the gesture by sliding yourself up and against his cock without penetration. His fingers tighten on your hips, cock painfully sensitive as he whimpers. Pre-cum leaks from his tip, weepy and spent and red as he humps against you even harder - lost in the sensation.  

“Wanna cum like this Haruka? Don’t need to ask permission.”  

“Nghh.”  

He nods wordlessly as you grind yourself down harder onto him. His tip passes over your clit enough times to make you sigh pleasantly, and that sound drives him over the edge. Thick ropes of white cum spills against your soft pussy as Sakura moans and shudders  violently. Despite how close you are, he can’t help but feel like it’s not close enough.  

Maybe you sense it, because you do him the favor of sliding yourself onto his half hard cock without so much as another word. It’s still not enough for him, but it sates him better than before at least. He wraps his arms around you hard and squeezes tight. Just for a little while.  

He scowls a little as he looks up at you, sobering up enough to form a sentence after spending some time hugging you. “Have you cum yet?”  

“Don’t worry about it, baby.”  

“Shut up,” He replies with no bite and a scowl. Another flush crawls across his face. “I can make you feel good too.”  

You raise your eyebrow. 

“Sounds like you’re declaring war not trying to give me an orgasm. I’m glad I made you feel good though,” You add cheekily. He flusters immediately, instinctively getting aggressive but not wanting to shove you off of him even as you break out into a fit of laughter.  

“Fuck off. I d-don’t feel good doing that weird shit with you. I only do it because - “ 

You interject. “Because you love me? That’s a better reason to you? How sweet Haru.”  

He frowns deeply.  

“Be quiet, you—don’t put words in my mouth, damn it.”  

“Pfft, okay. I’m sorry. I hope I’m not pushing you too much.”  

He huffs a little, pouting as he goes back to pressing his cheek to your skin. His voice is a touch softer than it was before.  

“I don’t do things for bullshit reasons. Stupid.”  

“I’m glad, then. Even so, you had a tough time today hm? So I’ll let you fuck me as much as you like. Just do whatever you feel like.”  

“I wanna…return to the favor or whatever.” He says after thinking on it. “Just… wanna make you feel good too. Like….” His voice goes small “…You make me feel. Or whatever.”  

You smile at him. He can feel it, not see it. He’s avoiding looking at your face since he’s sure you’re all goofy and loveydovey.  

“The floor is all yours. No rush though okay? I like spoiling you and we’ve got all night.”  

Sakura scowls, casting his gaze down at the bedroom floor. “….I love you.”  

You smile and press another kiss to his head. He feels so content he wants to die. Your reply comes easily anyway.  

“I love you too, Haruka.”  

[plotwhatplot]

Funpoison😈😈🔥🔥

my danger days hyper fixation rolled back around and punched me in the face so imma be writing a lot of killjoys stuff as i gather the balls to publish my smut lol

remember kids the killjoys r fictional and r not mcr <3

*this is also sum slight context for my party hcs btw bc yes*

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context: uhhhh... u may get the picture if u have a dirty mind.. just read- (this is an aftermath of another wip smutfic of mine)

*about 11 am*

Party poison: *walking out from around the hall stretching bc cunt* morning hoessss <333

everyone: good morninggg

Jet star: u and ghoul r up late

fun ghoul: oh yeah uhhh we couldnt rlly sleep :/

Party poison: uh- yeah type shi

kobra kid: well clearly yall were up at like 2 am💀

Fun ghoul: wha- wait how did u know that?

Kobra kid: uhhhhh long story short i got up last night to go to the bathroom and decided to take a smoke break outside before bed and uhhhh maybe dont leave the car windows open? (poor kobra, always the paragraph guy)

Fun ghoul: 😦

Party poison: 🫢

Fun ghoul: im going to kms-

Party poison: *wheezes*

Fun ghoul: STFU....

Party poison: okokokok im shutting up-🤭🤭🤭🤭

Jet star: wait whats going on-

poison, ghoul, and kobra: nothing :)))))

*they had car se-*

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context: elaboration on my mini skirt party poison headcanon, also kind of a prequel to my upcumming fic (hehe cummi-)

fun ghoul: alr guys and me party r gonna go hit the rave,

Party poison: *walking out from behind him in a mini skirt shorter than my attention span (that is extremely extremely short)*

Jet star: AY WOAHWOAHWOAH- *covers the girls eyes*

Party Poison: what?

Jet star: BITCH WE CAN SEE YO POOSAY ‼️‼️‼️THERE IS A MINOR HERE👿👿👿👿

Party Poison: oh right i forgor srry😶

Kobra Kid: *sips diva tea*

The Girl: what is this the fucking korn concert why cant i see😰

Jet star: one moment sweetie, *turns to ze hoez* GET OU-🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥

Party Poison: ok ok im going hoe😭🙏

Fun ghoul: *grabs a condom from a drawer discreetly as he walks out*

Jet Star: r u fucking fr rn💀

Fun Ghoul: stfu before i throw ur ass to a scarecrow <3

The girl: whats that thing😃

Kobra Kid: *from across room* CANDY-

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context: elaboration on the party poison gun kink headcanon that i said i would not elaborate on (im writing a fic with it)

*fun ghoul minding his own business, possibly with a little friend in his pants bc u never know*

Party Poison: is that a gun in ur pants or r u just exited to see me?

Fun Ghoul: which one u want it to be?

Party Poison: uh-

Party Poison: *stares into the abyss*

Fun Ghoul: exactly <3

Party Poison: FUCK YOU

Fun Ghoul: exactly <3

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ok so yeah thats all i can come up w/ rn, its kinda short compared to my last lil set of scenarios i did but whtvr nevermind (hello hello hello hello how low *nirvana rizz*)

[tigertofu]

tyyyy @d-u-s-t-9379 for tagging me to do this question thingy ! ((also sending u lots of love & good vibes friend 🫂💙)

tagging @culturalamnesia @spookydiner @sharmoota-job @chloe12801 @rfxiii (no pressure of course and srry if any of u have already been tagged !) n anyone else who wants to do this <333

Were you named after anyone?

yeea my gramma 💛

Do you have kids?

no but my partner and i would like to adopt someday. maybe when we're in our 30s or later cuz neither of us feels remotely prepared for parenthood rn lol

Use sarcasm a lot?

not rlly online cuz im always worried abt it not coming across and then ppl thinking im rude 😬 but irl yess

First thing you notice 'bout people?

usually their height like "oh. u are significantly taller than me" or "oh. u are a little taller than me" or "oh. someone actually shorter than me" idk why

Eye color?

dark brown

Scary movies or happy ending?

scary movies !! love love love horror movies

Special talent?

idk if i would consider myself having any special talents, just a few things i am pretty OK at.. actually maybe im pretty good at like building and repairing shit ? like around the house and w/ the exterior of the house, cuz of working in construction

Your hobbies?

reading, writing, video games, drawing, listening to music.. and by listening to music i mean sitting in my room for a few hours hunched over my phone like qausimodo and reading the lyrics of songs as they play. idk why but thats rlly engrossing for me

Any pets?

1 kitty cat !

Playing any sport?

noooo i hate sports, always have. the closest ive gotten to participating in a sport is riding horses when i worked as a ranchhand for a few summers as a teen

How tall..?

5'2" (maybe 5'3" idk)

Favourite subject in school?

it was always anything related to english. but i also rlly liked history classes

Dream job:

i dont have one tbh. i just want a job that isnt too unbearable, that pays the bills, and leaves me enough free time to do my hobbies (my current job(s) mostly provide all of this so im pretty content :)) )

[pierregazly]

hii!! first of all congrats for 1.5k 🫂💐 second, can i request for ⚓️?

im short, like 155 cm short, and im currently studying communications, planning to focus on pr and advertising. im southeast asian and food that has a little bit of kick and lots of flavors is everything to me. i'm very extroverted, shameless, and loud, but my energy does run out quickly 😭 my love languages are physical touch and acts of service! last but not least, i love both staying out and going out. like, i love roadtrips, but at the same time, i also love spending my day watching netflix too.

this is so long im so srry. once again, congrats for 1.5k!!!

⚓️ give me a small description of yourself/your hobbies/your zodiac signs/life and i'll ship you with a driver

hi lovely!! thank you sooo very much!! appreciate you 🫶🏻

omg okay, i think i'm going to ship you with yuki tsunoda! and almost 99.99% of this has to do with the mention of food?? to start, yuki would love that you're a lil bit shorter than him - obviously sometimes that may be a little difficult for him to find, so he would really appreciate that about you LOL. he would also more than definitely use you to try out any and all recipes he creates/makes, wanting to make sure that everything is perfect (and if you like it, it probably is perfect, no?). yuki gives off a very extroverted energy, definitely someone who keeps going until his energy is completely depleted (aka never?). he definitely seems like an acts of service love language type of person, and seems like someone who would do anything he can to make sure you're happy. i don't think i've ever seen anything about yuki being a big partier, definitely seems like someone who spends a lot of time cooking and striving to be the best chef he can be - with that in mind, he'd love a day at home, cooking, and watching netflix with you. it would be so cute!!

thank you for celebrating with me!!

[husbandits]

ヾ(〃ﾟーﾟ〃)ノ

So the past few weeks have been both super busy work-wise and particularly draining mental-health wise, and I ended up taking an impromptu hiatus from tumbr, and writing, and pretty much everything in general... And completely forgot about the secret santa project! (*ﾟдﾟ*)

i’m so so sorry @mileycyprus-hill , I honestly meant for this to be more coherent and polished, but i hope you like it anyway! In any case, a belated merry christmas, and happy new year?

You can't help but feel, after a while, that this isn't the easiest for Arthur. He's home by himself for most of the day- you're not sure if he ventures out to explore the neighborhood, or if that's still too much 'civilization' for him. Either way, he needs some form of company, and you have just the idea.

He's hesitant when you ask him to get in the car with you, but cabin fever must be getting bad enough to overwhelm the  because he doesn't really fuss about it too much. Just asks where you're going and groans when you don't give more than 'a surprise' in response.

~~

By the time the two of you arrive at the shelter, though, he's pent up and antsy. Seems almost nervous, either from being penned up from the car or just anticipation.

"Humane Society?" He frowns, reading from the sign on the building. "Just what sorta 'surprise' you got planned?"

You give him a snort at that, and nudge him out of the car insistently. "Come on, you'll see." You add, when he hesitates at the door; large and imposing and giving no hints as to what could be inside, "You'll like this I promise."

Arthur rolls his eyes at that, but follows you out and into the building, ducking behind you as you approach the counter. You can tell when his attention starts to wander, as someone shops with their dog in the small supply section, and Arthur's drawn to the array of collars and toys, suddenly hopeful. Smirking to yourself, you tell the attendant the two of you are looking to adopt a dog, and she nods, leading you around back to the room where all the dogs are kept caged; almost all of them start barking and pawing at their gates as the three of you arrive. You can feel Arthur's excitement in the sudden length of his stride and the way he takes your arm.

"I'll be right out here when you want to take one of them out to look at more," the woman tells you, and you give a thankful nod before she heads off and leaves the two of you alone to look at the dogs.

Arthur grins at you when you look back at him, looping your arm at his waist. "Y'coulda just said we were, ah, goin' to get a dog." He pauses, almost reaching out to one of the dogs. "We really gettin' one a these?"

You can't help but chuckle at that. Urge him forward sticking one finger through the fencing wiring, letting the little french bulldog inside sniff you. "Yeah, absolutely. Well, it's for you more than me, but yeah. To keep you company while I'm at work."

He blinks at that, but doesn't protest, so you decide to push him a little bit more. "What about this one? He seems friendly..."

"Awful small, ain't he?" Arthur grunts, after giving him a quick look, and you can't help a small nod in agreement.

You frown as his attention turns to a big rottweiler-mix trying to shove her snout under the fencing to smell him better, "We don't have a lot of room at the apartment for a big dog." nevermind what your landlord would think, or the amount of care such a big dog would need, "And I don't think she would be happy without a yard..."

A huff at that, but you can tell he's being facetious by the grin he gives. One hand comes to rest at your side momentarily, and then he's bending down to look at a shy poodle mix. "Now this one's damn adorable..."

You hum in agreement, and look at the laminated card pinned to the cage for more information. Frown when you see the limitations listed. "My name is Buzzy, I'm a lapdog that likes girls and warm blankets, and need other dogs around me to feel safe." Arthur gives a confused sound at that, reaching to try to pet the little guy, only to have him shrink back from his reach. "There's a note on the bottom that says he's normally afraid of most men."

Arthur pulls his hand back with a frown, and the pair of you move on to the next cage....

-

Eventually, you narrow down your choices to an older terrier-retriever mix with thick, wiry hair and a cream-colored underbelly. The card had said that she'd been an emotional support dog for her previous owner, that she shouldn't be left on her own for long periods of the day, and that her name was Kit-Kat; but she'll adjust better with a new name. Seemingly perfect, and when you get the assistant to open up her cage so you and Arthur can pet her and try to see if she likes the two of you, she latches on almost immediately, hopping up and trying to burrow further into your hands.

Arthur's quick to return the affection, getting down on his knees to rub and pat her sides, and the way he chortles when she turns her attentions onto him, slathering his face in kisses, makes the worry that's been spooling in your chest start to unfurl. It's a perfect sight, almost exactly what you'd wanted when you set out to do this. The two of you are quickly working out paperwork with the attendant at the front desk, and then you're on your way to the pet store to pick up all the toys and equipment you'll need for her.

-

"She needs a name..." You hum, watching the two of them on the floor. Arthur looks up at you, both hands framing the dog's face.

He purses his lips, giving a nod. 'Kit-Kat' doesn't really feel fitting for a dog like this, and you can't help but think she could use something a little less kitschy.

"Needs to be somethin' fitting..." He grunts, clearly having turned this idea over in his head for a while. "Maybe Lucky?"

You snort at the thought, earning a huff from the man. Getting up to come sit on the floor with the pair of them, you curl your arm around his and settle into a comforting position of curling at his side and watching him play with the dog.

[cleumz-moved]

Hello

May I request headcanons on Trey, Floyd, and Deuce helping you cut your hair? Thank you!

𖤐 SNIP, SNIP!!

𖤐 characters included - trey clover, floyd leech, deuce spade

𖤐 warnings - mentions of scissors, light spoilers for deuces backstory

𖤐 note - i actually cut my own hair a lot bc i get bored lmao

TREY 𖤐

he's a lil cautious to cut ur hair bc one of his younger siblings cut another ones bangs and... well, let's just say it didn't look to great.

he's surprisingly good at it! he has a meticulous hand from decorating pastries and the like, so while trey doesn't have any experience cutting hair, he's pretty skilled!

all in all, he's absolutely touched u trust him enough to allow him to cut your hair, and tries his best to make it look nice!

FLOYD 𖤐

yikes, u got a death wish or smth? i mean rlly letting him wave scissors around THAT close to ur eyes,,

anywho, he prolly makes jokes abt cutting it rlly short as he's behind u snipping it at the back when u can't see what he's doing, and if u get riled up nd try to hit him or smth he fuckin laughs 'haha shrimpy stay still or i'll mess it up'

u can't tell if the mess it up part is a warning or a threat.

floyd will PROBABLY try to make ur hair look nice, but if ur letting him cut it ur taking a risk that he'll prolly cut one piece in the back shorter/leave it longer so it sticks out.

DEUCE 𖤐

oh, u wanna cut ur hair? sure, why not?

he has some experience w cutting hair from his delinquent days, so he kinda knows what he's doing!!

it doesn't look half bad, deuce rlly does try his best w everything he does, nd cutting ur hair is included in that!

m srry idrk how to write deuce anyways his real skill is w dyeing hair, so if u ever wanted help w that, he's more than happy to offer his assistance!

𖤐 requests for twst r currently open!!

[mizukisdaycare]

hi!! .im the anon who wanted a saki and honami story! i think i'd want a mostly platonic relationship, not anything really romantic and just fluffy caregiver to little stuff !!! thank you so much ,,

Regressor!Saki & Cg!Honami HCS

A/N: I’m so so so SO sorry about how long it took to finally write these cuz school and real life has been kicking my butt T^T but im finally free!! Also these were a lot shorter than I thought they were gonna be so srry but here we go!

Honami is definitely like a big sis whenever members of L/N regress and Saki is no exception!

Honami often takes them to Phoenix Wonderland (they probably have free passes because of Tsukasa but shh..)

Saki wants to see and do EVERYTHING!! Though Honami has to keep a close eye on her so she doesn’t end up running off

It’s happened once and she quite frankly doesn’t want it to happen again (luckily big bro Tsukasa came to the rescue and returned her!)

If they aren’t at Phoenix Wonderland then they’re doing a quiter activity! Or as quiet as an activity that is baking apple pie

Saki is usually in charge of mixing up the filling while Honami does the more ‘grown-up’ steps

Best part of the apple pies are actually eating them! They taste even better because they made it together :D

Saki’s little self isn’t much different from her big self in a pushing her limits regard

She still sometimes gets herself sick by trying to do everything at once

Thankfully Honami is there to look after her!

Well that is if Tsukasa didn’t get to her first, but he doesn’t mind Honami’s assistance!

[watermelonsugawara]

Congrats for the 100s!!! U r so creative with coming up with this special!! I’d like 22 + Ushijima plss

hi hi thank u sm omg that means a lot :’) i had the idea outta the blue and i just prayed that itd make sense LOL

also omfjjfjfjf BIIIIITCH WHEN I TELL U IVE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO CHOOSE 22 OOOOO LMAOOO

srry this seemed shorter than the others??? woops

also sorry I didn’t put a couples outfit bc uhHhHHhhh,,,, ;—)

heh enjoy~

❥ warnings: nsfw wooo first ushi spice! i had to do it for my baby daddy; other than straight up sex: choking, we love a slight good size kink bc its ushi,

❥ characters: ushijima x fem!reader (i hope u wanted fem reader fuckkk)

...

tio by zayn

let’s get naked and explore

our inner secrets

...

“Eyes on me.” Ushijima’s raspy baritone was electrifying, sending lightning through your core. You could barely open your eyes, your eyelids heavy with overwhelming pleasure. You looked up at him towering over you, and your eyes almost rolled to the back of your head once more at the mere sight of his body. A thin layer of sweat adorned his skin, his abs rigid under your soft fingertips. Ushijima’s hair was aloof from your desparate grip, his lips were slightly parted, flushed red from kissing yours and leaving sinful marks along your skin. Your legs could barely wrap around his waist as he pushed his hard shaft into you, your eyes widening at the stretch.

Fuck, Ushijima loved that look you gave him. Your mouth hanging open, frantically trying to get air back into your lungs, as if his cock knocked the air right out of you. What does it for him is the fear that’s diluted in the pleasure — is it going to fit? Is he going to split you in half on his length? your teary eyes screamed, and he forced you to look into his own, as his answers to those questions were very simple: yes.

Your back arched off of the bed as Ushijima’s hips finally met yours, and you felt so full. He took a moment for you to adjust, which just gave him another excuse to marvel at your body. He ran his large hands along the sides of your body, every curve and dip in your skin was addicting. He started pumping into you, his hard cock twitching against your walls. You felt his hand slide up to grasp your neck, you moaned at the tightening grip, you didn’t even realize that no sounds left your mouth.

Ushijima couldn’t hold back as grunts fell from his lips, watching his thick length disappear into your tight pussy over and over. You looked so small under him, your body contorting with each merciless thrust of his hips. Your small hands trying to find relief by gripping him wherever he could, his shoulder, his hair, scratching the skin. The sting of your dragging nails couldn’t compare to how far he stretched you open, how his sinful movements toed the line between pain and pleasure.

And you were always begging for more.

[jessiebanethedragon]

hello if you're not too busy or something may i request a crosshair fic where he teases the reader a lot bcs she's shorter than him (probably like, reaches his chest and that's it) and like it's cute and wholesome? srry if it's weird hehe im a sucker for height differences bcs i too, am vv short. i love your fics btw 👉👈

heya! thanks for the Request and the love xoxoxo, this started in my head as cute fluff and turned a lil more saucy than i thought it would be so... yeah... oops (Hope you like!)

Oh how you hated him, the resident sniper of Clone Force 99. You absolutely hated him, every single cell in your body despised the man. And every time you saw him that stupidly handsome face was there to mock you. He made you seethe with anger, that smirk with the toothpick and the eyes that would side stare at you like he was checking you out when in reality he was just trying to rile you up all over again. 

You’d kick his ass if it wasn't so damn attractive. 

“You look like you’re going to implode Picks.” Hunter mentioned offhand one morning in a briefing room.  Even the name sent you into a rage. Picks. Short for Toothpick, which according to Crosshair, you were the size of. 

“I hate him.” You grit out, causing Hunter to laugh from his spot in the corner, even the mere thought of you working with them again was driving you crazy. Well, okay, you didn't hate him per-say, in fact you’re actually afraid of the opposite but it’s easier to pretend that you dislike the  sniper than it is to pine over him constantly. 

“He’s not that bad…” Hunter started and then stopped when you sent him a glare. 

“Who’s not that bad?”  Tech asked entering the briefing room to look over the Holoprojection once more before you departed. With Wrecker in tow the two began discussing various assault attempts for the mission. 

“Crosshair.” Hunter supplied for his goggled brother, who immediately looked over to you, who was currently perched on a ledge, trying to ignore how your heart clenched at every mention of his name. 

“Ah yes, well…” Tech trailed off, “Don’t worry Picks i’m sure he’s uh…. Mellowed.” he offered, trying to ease your worries. 

“I hate him.” You stated again, maybe if you said it out loud enough it would be true. 

“Well that’s just rude Short Stuff.” The voice drawled from the doorway, where of course, the man in question was leaning. Not even wearing his full armor like the rest of the batch. You swore he left the top half off and pushed his sleeves up just to annoy you. 

“Listen here wise-ass. This is my mission, you follow my command.” You said hoping down from the ledge and stalking over to him, falling short (no pun intended) when your face met his chest. 

Oh the universe was cruel. 

“Yeah and what are you going to do if i don’t?” He teased, still very much relaxed. 

“I’ll kick your ass.” You snapped at him, causing Crosshair to smirk and roll the toothpick in his mouth to the opposite side. 

“Sure you can reach that high?” He asked, and if you weren't fuming before you were now. Why did he have to be so stunning and suave and flirty and oh right you’re supposed to be pissed at him... 

“Why you little…” you started.

“That's you pretty girl.” He interrupted, maker you could not win with this man.  

“I could have you court martialed.” You countered. Feeling a little disappointed that you’d reached the point of pulling rank in order to win an argument with him but he really was that difficult. 

“Of course you could. But where’s the fun in that?” He tossed back to you, before lazily saluting Hunter and striding out of the door. You threw your hands in the air as he sauntered away, had he really just shown up to drive you crazy and then leave. Probably. But he was certainly not getting the last say this time. 

“Hey!” you called after him, jogging down the empty hallway to catch up. 

“Yes general?” He raised an eyebrow for a split second before a look of fear overtook his face as you sprinted at him. Throwing yourself at the unsuspecting sniper and tackling him to the floor. Crosshair wasn't exactly as much muscle as his brothers, but he was still much bigger than you. And that didn't make an impromptu wrestling session in a GAR hallway easy. So of course in moments he had you pinned against the wall (no complaint from you other than the embarrassment of being beaten.) Legs flailing every which way in an attempt to kick/knee him in a not-so-low blow to his crotch. 

“Hey.” he said, trying to maneuver away from you legs but still keep your upper half pinned. You let out a frustrated scream. 

“Hey.” He pressed again, softer this time. 

“What?” You huffed relenting, and slipping into the grip he had on your hands and one on your hip to support you. Oh, well now things were a tad awkward. 

“I think there was some miscommunication.” Crosshair states, watching you get more and more confused. 

“How so?” You take his bait, you have no idea where he’s going with this. He lets out a sigh looking around and stepping closer to you, is it weird to notice how good he smells? You ask yourself, right around the same time your eyes meet his and you turn to putty in his hands. 

“I was tryin’ to…”  he starts before letting off another sigh. Gently leaning closer, testing the boundaries, waiting for you to tell him to back off. Instead you take a breath. 

“Trying to what?” you whisper, before it all clicks, the teasing, the names weren't even names at all. Terms of endearment, your brain finally makes the connection. 

“Listen, the long necks didn't exactly teach flirting.” He admits quietly. Loosening his hands and letting your feet reconnect with the floor. 

“I can tell.” You tease, and you see Crosshairs mouth open and close, like it’s searching for words that he doesn't know. 

“I’m sorry.” He settles on, “if I upset you.” You straighten in shock, did he just apologise? Did the sniper of the Bad Batch, known for his assholery just give you an apology? Now that was a win. He pauses for a second before turning away from you. And as if you're possessed by a much more confident version of yourself, your hand grasps his and stops him from leaving. 

“You are so stupid.” You shake your head at him, leaning up onto your toes to fist his blacks and pull him close to you. 

It’s not exactly a romantic kiss, more like a kiss that's been pushed away for so long it’s surfacing with a vengeance. It’s full of yearning and want, and so when Crosshair leans down whispers for you to jump, and all but slams you into the wall again, you happily comply. Legs around his waist and tongues in each other's mouths. 

And then he groans. The bastard has the audacity to groan into your mouth, the sound has you reeling and whining into his. And maker what are you even doing? This is so against every rule in the GAR regulation handbook.    

“Regulations.” You pant as somewhere he moves from your lips to your jaw to your neck.

“I don’t give a damn.” He almost growls into your neck. Especially when your hands anchor themselves in his hair. 

“But…” Your brain tries to think of any reason to not do what you’re doing right now, but it draws a blank. So you let all your responsibilities go to hell as you pull his face back to yours and envelop his lips again.  

“That's so gross.” Tech comments at the view in front of him, having leant out of the doorway to make sure you hadn't killed his vod. And instead getting greeted by what could only be described as the most intense makeout session he’d ever seen. 

“What's gross?” Hunter asked, moving to join him, and before Tech had a chance to want him. “Oh for kriffs sake!” He shouted, throwing his hands in the air at his sniper's actions. 

“I liked it better when they hated each other…” Tech stated a look of disgust on his face. “Hunter?” He asked turning to where his sergeant had been, only to see him sitting back in the briefing room holding his head in his hands and Wrecker having the time of his life laughing it up in the doorway.

“It’s about damn time!” He called loud enough for the two of you to jump apart in surprise. Flushing red as you caught Techs terrified face and Wreckers loud laugh.

“Come on Toothpick, you got a mission to run.” Crosshair said, looking down at you and stealing one last soft kiss before turning back to his brothers. 

Okay so maybe you didn't hate him all that much. 

[as-the-stars-foretold]

Pls explain to me like I am stupid the stars post if your up to it 👀 👀 I rly want to know what it all means

I’ll break it down the best I can!

Low-mass stars: These stars are very small red dwarfs. They can fuse up till hydrogen, but they aren’t hot enough to get a degenerate helium core/hydrogen shell. They can fuse up till they are almost entirely helium. The slightly bigger ones (keep in mind, still small) can evolve to a red giant, but that’s about it. Their helium cores aren’t big enough to reach the temp needed for helium fusion, so they never reach the tip of the red giant branch. When the hydrogen shell is done with, they’ll quietly evolve off of the red giant branch (RGB) and turn into a white dwarf.

Mid-size stars: This one has a lot of stages so it’ll be a bit more complex. I won’t go into as much detail as to not confuse you lmao.

Here’s an overview: Main sequence -> subgiant -> red giant -> horizontal branch -> asymptotic giant (I haven’t done post-asymptotic yet srry)

These stars are about 0.6 to 10 solar masses, meaning they can fuse helium!

Subgiant - Hydrogen is burned in a shell around the helium core, leading to the core becoming more massive (as the helium falls to it). The star expands and cools at a similar or slightly lower luminosity as its main sequence phase. Eventually either the core becomes degenerate (Sun-like stars) or the outer layers cool enough to become opaque (bigger stars). Either of these changes leads to an increase in luminosity and temp of the hydrogen shell, leading to the star expanding onto the RGB.

Red giant - The expanding outer layers are convective (they bring material from the core up; think of convection currents), mixing material and bringing stuff up to the surface. The star is no longer in thermal equilibrium (the equilibrium between pressure and gravity), it’s either degenerate or above the Schoenberg-Chandrashekhar limit (max of how much envelope a non-fusing isothermal core can support), so it causes an increase in fusion in the hydrogen shell. The star’s luminosity goes up at the tip of the red giant branch.

Horizontal branch - Helium cores are supported by electron degeneracy pressure, and helium fusion will ignite in a helium flash (when a star reaches 3 million degrees and takes in a lot of helium). In bigger stars with a non-degenerate core, the ignition of helium fusion is slow with no flash. The expansion of the core causes the hydrogen fusion in overlying layers to slow and energy production to decrease. The star contracts and thus moves to the horizontal branch.

Asymptotic giant - These stars have faster energy generation that lasts for a shorter time, paralleling the red giant evolution. Though helium is being burnt, most of the energy is from hydrogen shells farther from the core. The helium created from the hydrogen shells occasionally drops to the core and energy output from the helium shell increases a bunch, creating a thermal pulse. A deep convective zone happens, bringing up carbon from the core. This causes a carbon star to be formed (very cool and strongly reddened stars w/ strong carbon emission lines; think Mira variables). A process known as hot bottom burning may convert carbon to oxygen and nitrogen before it’s dredged-up, determining the observed luminosities and spectra in some clusters.

I know it’s a lot, and not exactly simplified, but if you could tell me which part(s) specifically you want me to explain, I'd be more than happy to!

Don’t ever feel bad about not knowing this. It took me multiple readings to understand it enough to summarize it. The wikipedia article on stellar evolution explains it very well!

I hope this clears up some stuff?

[hollyxqx]

SHE’S THE ONE  //  SHOWNU

↪ PAIRING: Reader / Shownu  ↪ GENRE:  smut > fluff > f2l  ↪ WORD COUNT: 7.3k ↪ SUMMARY: Hyunwoo has worked for your family for almost a year now, maintaining the gardens and pool. He’s not as rich as you are, he’s working class and he knows it but it doesn’t stop either of you striking up an unlikely relationship. [inspired by this song]

↪ WARNINGS: lots of smut, dirty talk, rough sex but nothing crazy bc shownu is a sweetheart, total self indulgent filth everyone 

a/n: the idea of gardener!shownu came from this story. I just wanted to give the author some credit for inspiring me, so you should read that story if the idea appealed as much to you as me. other than the fact that shownu is a gardener for a rich OC the stories are nothing alike, fyi.  this was meant to be A LOT shorter but i couldn’t help myself, srry.

ALL ABOUT LUV SERIES

Hyunwoo can feel your eyes on him as he paints the new patio furniture, outside in the glaring hot summer sun. It's touching on thirty degrees Celsius and he can feel beads of sweat trickling from his nape, running down the back of his white vest as he works. He's thankful he remembered his cap today, not only does it shield his eyes from the brightness of the sun but it enables him to sneak an occasional glance at you.

The day you first met he remembers thinking two things. One; oh my god, she's pretty and two; I can't do anything about it. You were the bosses daughter and he needed this job. Unlike you Hyunwoo was not born into a life of wealth and luxury. His hands were his means to a living, not shy to hard work.

He didn't know what your father did exactly to earn the estate, from the other staff he'd heard the title but it was so long and self-important Hyunwoo failed to remember it. Some kind of marketing, analytical something or other. You didn't have to be a humble labourer to know that meant money.

The mother didn't work. She didn't need to. Hyunwoo only ever saw her shopping, having brunch, shopping some more and doing yoga with someone he highly doubted was just her yoga instructor, unless yoga meant fondling the tan 23 year old instructor three times a week. The whole world was so alien and unfamiliar to him, he almost felt like a spectator at times.

You, however. You were different. That fact was deduced very quickly. After only a few weeks of getting to know you it became apparent that you weren't like the rest of your family. If he didn't know any better he sensed some resentment on your part even though the you never explicitly said the words out loud.

It was in what was unspoken that clued him in - the disdainful sighs when your mother had a cocktail at 10am, the way you went quiet whenever your father was mentioned, the fact that you helped out the staff when you didn't have to. Many a time he saw you washing dishes with the maid. Only when your parents weren't around though, he knew they would scold you if they caught you in the act.

So, he didn't mind the fact that you were staring. You were a hot girl, who appeared nice enough, and who found him attractive, what wouldn't he like about that? Hyunwoo hadn't had a girlfriend in nearly two years, much of his time spent working to afford college, so the attention you sent his way felt nice. Even if he couldn't act upon it, he could enjoy it.

"Um, Hyunwoo?" Your voice draws his focus from his work and he squints up at you in the sunlight. You're wearing that navy blue bikini he's seen plenty of times before and denim shorts. An image he knows will be swirling in his thoughts for the rest of the day, whether he wants it to or not. "Would you like some lunch?"

He's overdue a break anyway, and frankly any excuse to get away from the midday sun before his skin starts to burn is good enough for him. "Sure." He accepts, carefully putting his tools away. He sets them in the shade, wiping at his sweaty forehead with the t-shirt he removed earlier.

"Come eat inside, there's aircon." You inform him and he follows you indoors. Inside the kitchen he's surprised to find a somewhat elaborate spread of fruit, sandwiches and salad atop the island that sits in the middle of the room. He immediately goes to the sink to wash up as you get some plates.

"Ana outdid herself. It looks great." He mumbles as he dries his hands. Ana was the head housekeeper, worked there the longest and she was well known as the best cook in the home.

"Oh, I did this." You blush adorably and he pauses for a second. "I thought you might be hungry. I know I am."

"You made all this for me?" He asks, a little dumbfounded. He can't quite believe you'd go to all this trouble for the gardener. It only further cemented your nice nature for him.

"Yeah." You reply shyly, smiling as you pour both of you some icy water. "I enjoy cooking. Especially for others."

Hyunwoo can't help but watch you for a moment as you load your plate up with food, biting back a smile when you take his plate and do the same. "Thank you." He says gently as he takes the food from you. You share a look and he swears his heart stills for a moment.

***

It doesn't take long until eating together becomes a routine. You're home from college for the summer, you tell him one Friday lunchtime, this time over some of the best steak he's ever eaten. From what he can gather you adore the college you attend, your entire face lights up animatedly when you speak about it. Part of him suspects it's because you're away from the clutches of your family.

"I really want to get a job this summer, maybe even volunteer." You tell him as you sit opposite the kitchen island once more. "The parents aren't so thrilled about that. My mom wants me to go to Europe with her. Dad is obviously working."

"Europe sounds incredible." He offers.

"I've been before." You sigh. Hyunwoo can't help but find it bizarre that you're so unenthusiastic about a potential overseas trip. He's never even been abroad. "The rest of my class are working or interning. I wish I could too."

He knows it's ridiculous to feel sorry for the poor little rich girl who has literally everything but he can't help it. He might not be wealthy but he knows all too well what it's like to feel like an outsider and wanting nothing more than to just be like everyone else. Albeit for different reasons. You were sweet, his empathy felt deserved.

"You should do it." He tells you sincerely. "Your parents can't exactly kidnap you and take you to Europe can they?"

"You'd be surprised." You laugh, drly. "Who knows what they're capable of."

He doesn't know how to respond, so he's silent as you finish you meal. As nice as it would be to have more money than sense, at least he has freedom.

***

The first time you kiss is at the end of the summer.

Hyunwoo doesn't anticipate it happening and is unprepared. It wasn't the best kiss he's ever had given it's surprising nature, your teeth briefly clacked, but it was nice nonetheless. The sun is setting when you corner him around the back of the pool house, hidden from view. You ask him some question about him minding if you go for a late night swim (he never has and you've never needed his permission) - he knows it is an excuse.

There's a moment of hesitation, a sweet thank you falls from your lips and before he knows it your mouths are connected. Body curled in to him, tongue in his mouth he can't help but kiss back. You walk away before he can barely register what's happened.

***

Autumn is creeping it's way on to the landscape when the second kiss happens.

It's almost as if you've forgotten the first one, since you've never brought it up. Hyunwoo doesn't either, mostly assuming it was just a momentary impulse moment, mostly not wanting to make anything awkward with you. He's still enjoying the lunches you're preparing for him and doesn't want them to stop.

The working day is coming to a close for him. He's a lot sweaty and a little dirty when your paths cross. Your voice startles him as he's winding up the garden hose. "Hi Hyunwoo."

"Hi." His hands continue on autopilot until the work is done.

"I'm going back to school tomorrow." He knew that, gossip among the staff, but he stays silent, nodding as if it's brand new information. "I just wanted to say bye. Until next summer I guess."

"Bye." He says softly, earning him a tiny laugh from you. "I know you will be happier there than here."

"I'll miss those lunches though."

He's surprised and hope it doesn't read too blatantly. "Me too. I'm going to have to go back to eating turkey sandwhiches or ramyeon. Alone."

"Are you working here during the winter?" You ask.

"Yeah, just less frequently. Once every two weeks." He's got another job as a waiter in a slightly posher-than-he's-used-to restaurant but he doesn't tell you that. You probably won't care too much about him when you're not here.

"Maybe I'll see you at Christmas break." You hum. He offers a polite agreement. "You weren't...mad that I kissed you?"

That he didn't expect, as far as he was concerned you had swept that off the table. "No, I wasn't. I liked it."

"I liked it too."

The air changes and he somehow just senses it, just feels it in his bones what's going to happen next. You're so close to him, licking your lips like that and he doesn't miss how your eyes flit to his own mouth. This time Hyunwoo closes the ga with the wave of confidence that surges.

This kiss is much better than the first one, an air of desperation of it being the last time hangs thickly. Momentarily forgetting he's just worked a hard day of manual labour and isn't necessarily the cleanest he pulls your body against his anyway. One hand on your waist, the other grasping you between your shoulder blades.

You're the one to deepen the kiss and he swears he hears the tiniest moan over the thrumming in his ears. A hand slides down his muscular chest and fists his shirt. "Hyunwoo." You say breathlessly. It's not a question because your lips are back on his again.

His knees hit the back of a sun lounger, unsure of who was pulling and pushing who. He sits down and tugs you on to him, a knee on either side resting comfortably on his lap. This is not a good idea, he knows it but that part of his brain that's rational is loosing blood supply when you grind your hips against his. He's growing hard and it would be embarrassingly quickly if you weren't whimpering atop of him, loosing yourself in the moment too.

You shouldn't have sex. Out in the open like this. You shouldn't have sex at all, he works for you. Hyunwoo is trying to wrack his brains to remember who is home and who's not. The thought evaporates when you bite his bottom lip and tug at the nape of his hair. "You're so fucking hot Hyunwoo."

He's never heard you swear before, always assumed you weren't into such dirty language. His brain instantly ignites at the idea of you saying the dirtiest things he could imagine to him. It's something he's definitely thought about prior. He groans.

"So are you." He gets out in between kisses. Instinctively his hand is sliding up your cold thighs, the dress you're wearing not entirely weather appropriate for the cooling summer air. He grips your ass with a squeeze.

"I've wanted to kiss you so badly since the day we met." You admit through a breathy laugh. Even in the diminishing light he notices your cheeks flush a little. He's a little lost for words at the moment otherwise he'd tell you that he's felt the exact same way.

"Yeah?" Is all he manages to get out in an exhale.

"Mmhmm," You nod, raking your hands all over his chest. "And so much more."

Before he can respond you're kissing again. He wants to know what more means and he wants to know so badly it's making his cock ache. He needs it, so he shifts you on to your back, skirt rising up and exposing your panties. Even the sight of that is something he never thought he'd see in his wildest dreams. You were so untouchable just weeks ago and know you were underneath him at his mercy.

"I'd do anything you want me to." He murmurs in your ear, a knee separating your thighs for him as he hovers over you. "You're so pretty."

"What if I wanted you to touch me?" You ask.

"I am touching you." He can't help but smirk.

"Touch me like this."

You take his hand and run it over your clothed centre where he grazes a knuckle over your folds. At the contact the material presses into your wetness and he can't believe he did that. You're wet. For him. He rubs his hand up and down a few times and the noise that you elicit is sinful.

He looks up at you for approval as he slides your underwear slowly down your thighs. Your finally bare for him and he can't help it, too lost in the moment, he places a kiss on your mound, tongue sneaking between your lower lips for a second. It makes you gasp.

"God, like this - " He hangs his head for a second between your thighs, overwhelmed. "Like this you're perfect. Even if you told me to stop now the sight of you like this is, fuck, a wet dream." His cheek nuzzles your inner thigh where he places another wet kiss.

"Would this make it better?" You tease, nimble fingers unbuttoning your dress so your tits are exposed. His mouth hangs open as he nods, unable to eloquently articulate how fucking good you look and how hard he's trying to commit this to memory.

Nothing is said but he knows what to do, sitting up a little and kissing your breasts. He begins to stroke between your legs as he devours your tits. "Is this the right spot? Show me." He whispers against your skin.

"Do it like this," You guide his hand to the exact right place you want to be touched, moaning when he reaches it. "Fuck, Hyunwoo, just like that." You whine.

He can feel his dick leaking at that. Not only did you swear, you whined his name. He sucks on your nipple as your hips begin to work in tandem with his hands. "You want my fingers in you too? Hmm?" He asks.

"Yes, yeah - oh fuck - yes."

You're wet enough that he slides two in right away. He can only imagine in his mind how lewd this scene must look from an outsiders perspective, hand buried in your pussy. Starting off slow to gauge your reaction he sets what he hopes is the perfect pace, examining every detail on your beautiful face as your eyes flutter shut. You're chewing on your bottom lip, arching your back and falling apart in just the right way.

It's so much, touching you like this. "Yeah?" He manages to husk.

He's rewarded with a loud moan and a roll of your hips in time with his fingers. "Would you - ahh, would you fuck me if I asked?" You pant.

He didn't expect the question, and ruts his hips against your leg involuntarily with a groan into your skin. "Ugh, yeah. Yeah, I would."

"Here?"

"Here?" He repeats in surprise, pulling back to see if you really mean it. He wonders if you maybe have a thing for getting caught, or maybe even watched. God. "Really? You really want that?"

"Or we could fuck in the pool house. It's up to you." You laugh, biting your tongue with a grin. His hand hasn't stopped moving this entire time, even if he has slowed down. The thought of fucking you out here is hot but he can't risk it. What if someone caught him? That's his income gone.

"Take me to the poolhouse." He kisses you, discreetly wiping your wetness off on his denim thigh. It's hard to stop when he wants to see you cum so desperately. You grin and don't even bother to fix your half open dress before taking him by the hand. Both of you stumble excitedly across the garden, him pressed up against your back. He can't stop his hands roaming your body.

The poolhouse is nicer than any house Hyunwoo has ever lived in. What else did he expect. You know the way so he lets you lead him to the bedroom. You don't even bother with the light, tumbling onto the plush mattress, tangling together the instant you're able.

You yank off his shirt. "I'm a little sweaty." He laughs once he's topless.

"I don't care. Is it weird that I kind of like it?"

"Probably." He kisses you again while he removes your dress entirely. "I kind of get the feeling you're into lots of weird things."

"Define weird." You breathe, kicking off the remnants of your panties. His denim and boxers follow.

"Kinky."

"One person's kinky is another's boring Tuesday night."

"I can't wait to find out." He really can't. You're naked beneath him now and he's half expecting this to be a dream. He hovers over you and loves the way you shudder when his bare cock brushes against your thigh. You whine and reach for it with both hands, giving him a few lazy strokes. If your hands are this warm and soft he can't even imagine how good your cunt is going to feel.

He fucks into your fist a few times because it feels so good. "I fucking need you inside me, Hyunwoo. Please put your cock in me. Stretch me open and make me cry because it feels so good."

Shit, he loves your dirty mouth.

The blunt head of his cock drags through your wet pussy a few times to make the glide of him entering just that bit better. He presses in slowly, watching with wide eyes as your cunt swallows him whole. You keen as you fist the sheets. Then he's buried to the hilt and has to still for a few moments, or risk cumming quickly and embarrassing himself.

Before he beings thrusting he pushes both your legs a little wider apart. "Please." You beg and he listens, rocking his hips to meet yours. "Yes, oh - fuck yes." You breathe as he moves.

"I want you to cum." He husks into your ear. "How can I make you cum around my cock huh?"

"Touch my clit and don't stop moving like this."

He leans a little heavier on one arm so he can access your swollen clit with his right hand. Remembering what you told him earlier he gets to work. There's not much more said as he fucks you, mainly just breathy gasps and groans escaping both of you.

He loves that you tell him when you're about to cum. He's been with girls before who never said anything and he always found it hot when they did. He cums shortly after you, pulling out and shooting his load on your stomach.

The way you look, plump bottom lip between your teeth, eyes closed and covered in the evidence of his orgasm, well. He doesn't think he's ever seen anything sexier.

***

He's done it before. Fucked girls and had no further contact with them again. But it feels weird with you because he works for you. Has to talk to the people in your life frequently but has no idea about you. Phone numbers were not exactly exchanged and he's not really interested in social media. It complicates things, and he prefers simple.

The worst part about it is he can't even ask about you. It's odd if he shows too much interest in you. None of the household were particularly aware that a minor friendship even existed between you at one time.

Hyunwoo's not sure if he wants to know. He assumes you're happy and that's really all he can logically come up with. You'd never discussed anything extremely personal  with him over your little lunch dates and he'd never pressed you on it. He wonders if you'll have a boyfriend by Christmas time when you're home again.

He hopes not.

***

He starts night classes late September now that he can afford to. His scrimping and saving allowing him to fund the  business management course he takes. It's not much and it's not exactly a degree from some prestigious university but he learns a lot and best of all, he can continue working during the day.

After all, he has rent and bills to pay. Hyunwoo wants to run his own business one day and even if it takes years he's determined it will be worth it. His parents own a small cafe but neither of them went to college of any sort and they struggle often. His plan is to do it smart. Maybe even franchise his parents business.

By November he's promoted to host at the restaurant. It's fantastic for him because he earns enough now that money isn't on his mind constantly. When he's in the supermarket he doesn't have to carefully calculate as he shops. The items simply get tossed in the basket it without a thought and it feels good.

Life is good; steady. Sometimes he catches himself singing to himself as he works in the garden of your house like he's in a freaking disney movie.

He meets a girl at college whom he gets on well with. She's nice, quite pretty and they go on a few dates. They end up having sex in his car after the third one and it's okay, not great. He finds himself thinking about you after he's dropped her off, wondering if you're doing the same thing. Maybe you were, that's what university life was all about, he supposed. Experimenting, having fun, finding yourself.

Suddenly he feels very insignificant. Did you ever think of him? That night you spent together you'd confessed you had, but there were months and thousands of miles of distance between you now. You were the beautiful, upper class rich girl and he worked two jobs whilst going to a community college.

Of course you weren't thinking of him.

***

Hyunwoo's last day of work before Christmas lands him at your house. He'd overheard from Ana that you were arriving very early the next morning, which meant he wouldn't be there when you were, and not knowing when you returned to school caused a slight air of disappoint to settle around him as he worked.

The weather restricts what he's capable of, so it's a few weeks longer than usual before he can return and he works a little later into the evening than normal. By the time he finishes the sun has set and the cold air is nipping at his cheeks, turning them pink.

He tidies his gardening equipment and heads inside to tell Ana he's leaving. She wishes him Merry Christmas and pulls him into a hug that colours his cheeks even more. "Oh! Hyunwoo?" She asks as he's at the door, ready to go home. He turns expectantly. "Can you leave me your phone number? I'm unsure what date Mr Kim wants you back in the new year." She smiles.

"Oh," says Hyunwoo dumbly. "Don't you have it already? I'm sure I gave it to you when I first started."

"This is embarrassing," Ana laughs. "My son bought me a phone. I can't use it for the life of me and I accidentally deleted everything a few days ago. I don't even know how I did it! I'm too old for modern technology, I think."

Hyunwoo smiles warmly at her. It's exactly the kind of thing his own mother would do and he feels a rush of affection. "Of course I can leave you it. If you need any help with your phone, I can do that too. I'm a pro at it."

He scribbles the digits on the post-its next to the phone and goes home for the night.

***

The text is sent on New Years Eve (technically New Years Day) but Hyunwoo only reads it when he wakes at 2pm, nursing a rather brutal hangover. He'd celebrated perhaps a little too hard with Minhyuk and the boys and barely even remembers going to bed. He rubs his tired eyes and re-reads the message several times.

from : unknown number happy new year hyunwoo!!! Hope your xmas was goood - y/n

from : unknown number ps - stole your num from ana I asked where you were and sshe said i missed y5tou

He chuckles at the typos, assuming there must have been some alcohol involved with the sending of these messages. Hyunwoo of course replies.

from : hyunwoo happy new year too lady hows xmas break?

from : y/n good boring cant wait to go back to school Im nursing a hangover from heeeellllll

from : hyunwoo haha i gifrued figured* me too tbh, i'll be hiding from the world today

He spends the rest of the day lazing in bed and occasionally swapping texts with you. The conversation is light, like acquaintances catching up, which is what he supposes you are. He can't deny that it's nice to hear from you. It's even nicer that you think of him when you're drunk. Drunk thoughts speak that of a sober mind.

He wants to see you but unfortunately doesn't get to. You're back at school by the time he has returned to work.

***

The girl from college is persistent, he'll give her that. There's nothing wrong with Kia, other than the fact that she's a little too eager than what Hyunwoo is usually used to but he accepts it regardless. Somehow he finds himself sleeping with her on a regular basis. It's a little selfish of him which he knows. But lately he's been feeling lonely, overworked, and she gives him all the attention he could ever ask for with very little effort on his part.

The sex improves since the first time so it becomes a thing. He tries not to look too deeply into it. By March they've been hooking up for well over a month.

He doesn't tell her about you. Not that that he's trying to hide anything per say; he just doesn't feel it's necessary. Especially because the conversations that he shares with you are far more interesting, now that he texts with you semi-frequently. Kia doesn't need to know about every single friend of his, he rationalizes.

Although he makes a distinct effort not to text you when he's with her.

You make him laugh. Like, really laugh. So much so that you rival Minhyuk's spot in his life. When you're away from your family you're a different person. Still you, but the version of you that's a little brighter, a little happier, and much more unrestrained than you are at home.

Even captured in the selfies you send you radiate more. He doesn't tell you (or anyone for that matter, he'd rather be caught dead) but he's been saving every image.

You tell him about your life in greater detail. He finds out that you spent Christmas with Ana and her family, since your father worked and your mom seeks warmer weather at that time of the year. It makes his heart ache slightly, he always has a wonderful day with his parents and a life without that seems a little sad. He's happy you have at least some family in Ana.

Hyunwoo cares. His thoughts drift to you often these days, more notably when he's working at your house. He can't even look at the poolhouse or the sun loungers without having flashbacks of you on your back for him. God, he wants to do it again. The need grows more and more the longer you talk.

When you phone him one night late night, practically purring the words, "I've been thinking about how we almost fucked in the garden." He knows it's over for him. He listens to you make yourself cum over the phone there and then and promises you, he'll have your body again as soon as he's able.

***

The next time you see each other in person it's April. Seven whole months since you'd fucked. He's finishing work when you appear, almost coyly hovering around the back entrance of the main house. He suspects you've waited for him. Hyunwoo grins reflexively when your eyes meet.

"Hey, you." You smile widely, tucking hair behind your ear.

"Hey lady."

Both silent for a few moments, simply taking each other in. Obviously he's seen pictures of you but the real thing is so much better. Your hair is longer, darker and your makeup is different but he still thinks you look gorgeous. A wave of confidence takes Hyunwoo.

"Want to hang out?" He asks before any inane small talk can ruin the moment. He knows how you are, you spoke this morning. You nod excitedly.

"I was hoping you'd ask." You tell him.

He's not ashamed of the car he drives, but he is when he knows you'll be in it. He's seen what occupies the twelve car garage. The kind of cars he would dream about as a young boy, and the worst part about all of it is they rarely get driven. To him that's the definition of insanity.

The back passenger window doesn't work on the old jeep and the leather is ripped on the drivers headrest but Hyunwoo takes care of it, so it drives fine. It gets him where he needs to go, so he's unbothered by the appearance. In a perfect world he'd drive you in something flashy.

You say nothing about the lack of extravagance, you hop inside with a beautiful smile. He likes that about you.

The plan is to go for dinner but somehow you never make it, ending up at Hyunwoo's modest apartment. It's a simple one bed with a tiny kitchenette. It's not much but he's worked hard to keep it.

"This reminds me of my dorm!" You laugh when you're inside. He incorrectly makes the assumption that you're insulting it but you reassure him. "It feels more like home than my parents house." You say gingerly with a touch to his arm.

His response is to kiss you and hoist you up, wrapping your legs around his waist. From the many phone sex sessions that have transpired between you, he's learned alot about what you like in the bedroom. He spanks your ass check with a slap, hard enough to sting. You audibly hiss.

You're in a dress again and he thinks it's intention was purposeful so he could have faster access to your most intimate parts. In no time at all you're pinned on his bed, both hands above your head held there by his own larger palm. The other is pushing your panties to the side, giving access to his bare dick.

Fuck me fuck fuck me, you chant, and he does. You look like such a mess for him, dress pushed up, hair fanned out across the pillow.  You guide his hand around your throat, forcing him to choke you. He almost cums when your gasping breath tells him to spit in your mouth.

When you touch your clit and cum he does as well. He couldn't hold off even if he tried.

He kisses you softly, in stark contrast to how rough you had just encouraged him to be; then you whisper, "I missed you."

***

He spends two complete days in bed with you. Kia calls him several times but he never picks up. You give him a curious glance when he turns the phone face down each time, yet you say nothing.

The only time you leave his apartment is to get food. Hyunwoo holds your hand in the supermarket without thinking about it, he just wanted to touch you. You pay for the entire shopping and he wishes you didn't but he supposes you don't think about these things in the same manner as he does.

When you leave (and it's only because he's working at the restaurant and had no choice but to part ways) he drives you home and watches the entire way as you walk up the drive, wishing he could have you back already, hoping there's not some college boy miles away thinking the same thing.

***

It's only five days later when he's scheduled back to work for your family. He's more than a little distracted after seeing you through the kitchen window. A small, discrete wave from you to acknowledge his presence. He knows there's not much time left before you're due back at school for the last term before summer.

The familiar tradition of lunching together is shared outside today. Pleasant sunshine basks down on you and Hyunwoo can't stop looking at you even as he eats the food you've prepared. "What?" You ask with a shy laugh. "Is there something on my face?"

"I just like looking at ya." He laughs and your cheeks tinge adorably. How can you be so cute yet so dirty? It's like he has the best of both worlds with you at times. The contrast drives him wild at times.

"Can we spend some more time together before I go back to school?" You ask him. For a moment he can't focus because you're eating a strawberry and all he can think about is his dick in your mouth. "Hyunwoo?"

"Yeah, course." He responds, blinking a few times. "Come over tonight?"

He wonders what the household think when you leave together at the end of the day. Surely they would not approve of this? A sad thought enters his mind; it's possible your family are too self absorbed to notice, let alone care. Ana however gives the two of you a friendly knowing smirk when you share your goodbyes.

Hyunwoo ends up making a stopover at the beach, a change of heart hitting him as he drove in the setting sunlight. There's a certain spot he started visiting when he first moved out and was overwhelmed by the stress and cost of being an adult in this world. He's never taken anyone there but he thinks (hopes) you'll like it as much as he does.

"We're at the beach." It's not so much of a question as a statement and you give him a confused look.

"Come on." Is the only instruction he gives you, clambering out of the jeep.

The ten minute walk from the car to very end of the beach is passed in comfortable silence. There's a bit of climbing involved up some rocks and a slightly steep sandy slope. Hyunwoo goes first so he can assist you up too. This secluded part of the beach is peaceful and he's watched many a sunset here.

You join him in the sand when he sits, resting your head on his shoulder. "Why did you bring me here?"

"It's one of my favourite places and I wanted to share it with you." He doesn't need to explain any further. You nod.

"Thank you."

He watches the sunset with his arm around your shoulders. When it's almost dark Hyunwoo leads you back to his jeep. You have sex on the backseat. It's different this time, tender and sweet, touching each other as if you're both virgins cautiously but eagerly mapping each other's bodies. All he thinks about on the journey to his place is how much he likes you.

***

When you're thousands of miles apart the distance somehow feels greater this time. During the day you cross his mind often but it's worse at night, when he's alone in bed, craving the warmth of you body next to his. Sometimes he looks, then re-looks at the selfies you've sent.

He hasn't kept track of when he last spoke with Kia. It's only when she sends him a particularly bitchy message does he remember that he's unintentionally being ignoring her for as long as he has. When he sends her an apology, citing work and family as an excuse she asks to see him.

He's in two minds about it. One, he's lonely, horny and missing you. However the topic of being exclusive never came up, not that it should. It's new territory. For all he knows some frat boy has you wrapped around him right now. The thought makes him prickle with jealousy.

So he accepts Kia's invitation.

***

"What are you grinning at?"

Hyunwoo looks up, trying to hide his smile when Minhyuk speaks. "Nothing." He lies. He's texting you and you just told him how you accidentally waved at someone who wasn't waving to you and now you're moving country and changing your identity before you die of embarrassment. Another thing he likes about you; you're not afraid to laugh at yourself.

"That means it's a girl!" Minhyuk teases with a laugh. "The chick from college?"

"Uh, no." Hyunwoo replies, avoiding his friends gaze. "Someone else."

"Oh." Minhyuk is surprised. "Who?"

"You know the people I sometimes do gardening and shit for? The daughter."

"Oh shit," His friend laughs. "Risky."

Hyunwoo agrees, adding. "We haven't really tried to hide anything. I don't think her family notice much. It's kinda sad."

"How can you be sad with all that money?" Minhyuk scoffs. Like Hyunwoo he comes from a family that had little to none of not just money, nearly everything. He doesn't work two jobs like Hyunwoo but he works even longer hours to sustain himself. "Crying in a ferrari. Boo hoo."

"She's not like that. Her family sure, but not her."

Minhyuk can tell he likes you. "She's special." He doesn't ask, he just knows Hyunwoo so well that he doesn't need it confirmed by the older male.

"Yeah. She is."

***

He hasn't heard from you in over a week which is highly unusual since you've been messaging or calling each other daily. It's making him a little restless but he reassures his anxious mind by reminding himself you're almost finishing school and you're probably just busy. Kia is a distraction right now, nothing more.

His phone rings while Kia is in his shower. She's going to want to stay the night but he really isn't that interested, right now he wants to be alone. Normally he doesn't speak to you when he's with her, but this will be his first chance in a long time so he takes the call.

"Hi lady, it's been a while." He answers.

"I know," You groan. "Finals. I had to turn my phone off because it was distracting me. I had a meltdown this week."

His first thought is relief. The second; he wishes he could have been there for you.

"I'm sorry," He means it. "How are things now?"

"One more exam then I'm done. No future break downs planned." You announce and he can hear you smile.

"Good."

"What are you doing right now?" You ask. He hears the shower shut off and Kia step out.

"Nothing." Technically it's the truth. "I missed you." He adds lowly.

"Me too, Hyunwoo. Is it weird that you're one of my closest friends?"

"You're one of mine." He says confidently.

"I wish you were here."

Kia re-enters his bedroom in a towel, giving him a quiet smile when she see's him resting against the headboard in the middle of a call. Hyunwoo swallows thickly. "Me too."

"I want to see you, can we face time?"

He knows what that means. More often than not your video calls to each to one another ends in a very explicit manner. He looks at Kia who is redressing. God, he wishes he could say yes.

"I..can't right now, I've got company." He adds lamely because he doesn't want to lie to you.

"Oh." The disappointment in your voice is prevalent. "Ok. Maybe another time."

"Yeah." He wants to say more, so much more, but he knows Kia is listening and doesn't feel like an argument.

"It's okay if you're dating y'know." You add, to his surprise. "I didn't exactly think you were some celibate monk every time we were apart."

He laughs at that. "I assumed you weren't either."

"I wasn't." The past tense confuses him. "Been too busy for that lately."

"I bet."

"No one fucks me like you do though," You laugh and he can't help but smirk. "Anyway, I'll let you go. I've got some stress to relieve anyway." He doesn't miss the innuendo. "And Hyunwoo?"

"Yeah?"

"I'll be thinking of you when I do it."

Fuck. He hold back a groan. Now that the image is in his head it's the only thing he wants to see. He gulps. "I always do."

When you've hung up he tells Kia in the kindest possible way he's tired and it's best if she goes home. He senses her unhappiness and he feels a little guilty but not for long.

***

The day you arrive home for the summer Hyunwoo realises it's been ten months of fucking, phone sex and talking about nothing and everything til 2am with you. He's not working today and offers to pick you up from the airport. He knows you could easily have someone on your father's payroll fetch you but you agree nonetheless.

At baggage claim you don't even greet him, flinging yourself into his arms instead. There's a kiss that's all too passionate for such a public space but neither of you seem phased. It's clear that you're just as eager as he is.

You smile at him when he carries your bags for you, loading them into his trusted jeep.

"Can I tell you something?" You ask as he drives. He nods. "I haven't told my parents but I've been working while I've been at school."

You hadn't told him that either. As far as he knew you wouldn't really have to work ever if you felt so inclined.

"I've saved everything. Every single penny I've earned."

"How come?" He's never discussed money with you and he feels awkward.

"Because I don't want to spend my life relying on them." You say simply. "After I finish school next year I'll be free."

Free, he thinks. He notices how ignored you are at home and how unhappy you are there. If you want to be free, Hyunwoo wants you to be free too.

***

You spend more nights with him over the summer than you do without. He doesn't tell you but he broke things off with Kia a long time ago. It's you, and it's been you for a long time. At the beach you tease him and ask him if the other girls like this spot as much as you do.

"I've never brought anyone but you here." He admits.

"Oh." You look surprised. "I thought..."

"Nah," He tries to make it sound more casual than it is. But it means something. You both know it. He laces his fingers through yours. "Just you."

Over the summer a few freckles have appeared on your shoulders as the two of you have spent a lot of time in the sun and he kisses them while he's got you in his arms. You sigh in content and lean back against his chest. He wants to tell you he loves you, has done for quite some time but doesn't want to force it.

You're the one. Not in the conventional sense where he's blindly assured that you're definitely going to get married and grow into old age together. No. How can anyone know that for sure?

You're the one in the sense that you make him happy to wake up each day. It's effortless and it's easy and you've never once held any of his choices against him. He'd do anything for you before any other girl. That's why you're his one. He just needs to tell you now.

MASTERLIST

[svnarintaro]

hi haru!! i hope im not too late for the matchups 👉👈 anywho, im a 15 y/o female that like boys, i'm 5'1 (those asian genes ykyk), and i have brown eyes n brown hair! reading and history are my best subjects in school (i SUCK at math omg don't even get me started LOL), i cry a lot (my zodiac sign is cancer surprise surprise), and i do track, cheer, and dance teehee. my friends say that their first impression of me is that i'm kinda clingy and talk too much when i first meet ppl (oops srry) ✰1

✰2 but they say that i dial the enthusiasm down over time RIP. i love baking and domestic things, making other ppl happy makes me vv happy! im a hopeless romantic and simp way too much lol, lowk my dream is to meet my s/o in a bookstore or library heh. anyways i hope this isn't too much/annoying! also hq characters pretty please :)) have a vv nice day!

~~~

from hq i match you up with.. 

korai hoshiumi !!

- he is not that small but to have someone shorter than him is something he really looks for in a partner

- he sucks at academics all together 

- like he is the epitome of head empty volleyball only 

- he is surprised that someone so small can continue to do a sport that requires a lot of leg power 

- to have so much control of your tiny bod really amazes him 

- he is really clingy too but he actually doesn’t really show it normally 

- he just pouts until he gets what he wants 

- he loves to continue conversations but he hates initiating them 

- he is more reserves when it comes down to it 

- he is so used to finding happiness in playing his sport it is amazing how he is able to keep this many people in his life 

- the only way you can see him at a book store is just by him hiding from interviewers 

- and him covering your mouth if you try and say anything 

[ccrtana]

i don’t need to know

A/N: I was doing the dishes yesterday and the song “I Don’t Need To Know”, by Maddie and Tae, came on. I couldn’t stop thinking about this idea for a Rowaelin AU... So I wrote it! I’m very proud of myself for finishing this first part and wanted to challenge myself into posting it. Where anyone could read it. Who knew this was so nerve wrecking (major props to all the authors out there who do this on a regular basis). Thank you for reading :)

i.

The silence is the only tolerable thing about the Western Wastes, as far as Rowan’s opinion is concerned. The improvised base his team is staying at is close to the routes they have to watch, but far enough from Briarcliff that all he can hear at night is the wind and sounds from people around camp, minimal noise at one in the morning. It almost made the heat during the day and the dust that was everywhere tolerable, this peacefulness at night time. Almost.

On the outer edge of the base, Rowan lets himself fall against one of the vehicles to try to take his mind off of the never ending meeting he just had with mission command. He should probably be going to bed, but there is too much information swirling around his mind to just lay down and sleep. He takes his phone out of the pocket, there are a few unanswered texts he didn’t have time to look at during the day.

Running a hand through his silver hair, he opens the conversation with his mother. He is met sequence of photos: a beautiful lasagna his mom cooked as dinner for the evening, a selfie of his parents as they beam at the camera, a shot of the pup they had recently adopted as he destroyed what looked a lot like one of his dad’s shoes. Rowan’s soft smile can’t be fought, taking over before he knows it.

This isn’t the first time he is deployed somewhere far from home and it will not be the last, so it’s not as if he isn’t used to it. But some days are particularly harder than others, and today he is specially missing his family and his life in Terrasen. Next week, he will complete three months away and officially reach the middle of his service. Rowan replies to his mother’s pictures with one of his own, capturing the sky full of stars above him and wishes her a good night, even though she won’t be seeing this until morning.

There are more messages in the group chat he is in with his cousins, but he just scrolls past those. Apparently, they had all gone out to some bar tonight and drunk texting had ensued. Nothing that made sense, so Rowan didn’t even bother trying to decipher what any of it meant. A private chat with one of his cousin’s catches his eyes, though.

Sellene: heyyy, went out todaay nd u wont believe who i just saw

Sellene: [attachment.picture_6474]

Sellene: that is aelin right???

Sellene: this dress is gorgggg do yuo think i can go ask where its from?

The picture is blurry and there are a lot of people in the shot, but he would recognize the blonde woman anywhere, in any crowd. Aelin Galathynius is wearing a red dress that seems to have been made just for her, based on the way it fits her body perfectly. Standing next to her is another woman with dark brown hair, probably Lysandra, and another shorter one, Elide, if he had to guess. Rowan can’t seem to breath right and his body tenses.

He hasn’t really seen Aelin in four months, since they broke up and he deleted all the photos he had with her on his phone. Seeing her now is a shock to say the least. They did not end their relationship in the best of terms. One fight, and it was as if the year they spent together, the best of Rowan’s life, meant nothing, both too proud and too angry to back down and be civil. Even thinking about her sets him on edge. Sellene must have been really drunk to text him this. The more he reads of the thread, the stronger the ache in his heart gets.

Sellene: was goin up to her but someone arrived :/

Sellene: [attachment.picture_6475]

Sellene: do u know who that is?? ive never seen him

Sellene: is it too weird if i go up there and say hi, remember me? sellene ur ex’s cousin also where is ur dress from? endy says it is…. boohooo

The second picture his cousin sent is also of Aelin, but now she is sitting on a corner booth at whatever bar they were in. And there is a guy right next to her, way too close and staring way too deeply into her turquoise ringed with gold eyes, not visible in this photo, but forever etched into Rowan’s memories, for him to pretend he doesn’t know what was happening.

Rowan’s hand tenses around his phone and the silence he appreciated just minutes ago now makes everything worse. Because the love of his life is miles and miles away, in someone else’s arms, laughing at him with the smile that has been the star of all of Rowan’s dreams since they met, and he has no one to blame but himself for this pain. And there is nothing he can do, not just due to the fact that he is in the Wastes while Aelin is all the way in Orynth, but because she has moved on, and now it’s too damn late.

Sellene: now everyone is making angry faces at me bc i told them i sent u the pics

Sellene: but the way i see it u should know that ur ex is moving the fuck on so u can just text that girl i told u about alreadyyy

Sellene: srry if that was rude, but u deserve to be happy too

Rowan stands up straight and gives himself a second to think his reply through. He isn’t feeling very rational right now and doesn’t want to be rude to his clearly plastered cousin. It’s not as if he hasn’t considered whether Aelin has gotten over him before tonight, imagining what was going on in her life, what she was doing and who with, when he was feeling particularly bad. But it is different from seeing it so clearly. Hurts a hell of a lot more now that it’s not just him beating himself up over his stupidity for letting her go, now that this is reality. He settles with the true.

Rowan: i dont need to know who is keeping aelin company

Rowan: so stop telling me

On the walk back to his sleeping quarters, he deletes the conversation with Sellene. Rowan doesn’t need any more reminders of what he has lost.

[vanaera]

Aera! I’m absolutely flattered by your compliments, thanks a lot! And also you’re welcome =) about the mbti, well, my knowledge is humble but I’ll gladly teach you what I know, just ask wutever you want! it certainly feels like we’re penpals lol and about INFj functions being contradictory actually that’s not wrong. Generally, all types will have a first function that’s the complete opposite of the last one. In INFj case, it will be introverted intuition vs extroverted sensing.

And I’m looking forward to see how things will unfold in my time, since it’s your first time in approaching sci-fi genre I’d say what a great baby steps, and about the words count, I’d say don’t don’t be freaked out by it! Really! sometimes it’s necessary because in a story, there are multiple things to consider like character development and world building like you mentioned, I find these are extremely important factors. It can make a story greater than it is. 2

Personally it’s what I look for in a movie, game, or a book in addition to the consistency of the plot. A writer might have a simple story with a simple plot but mange to make it great just because they did so well with their characters. I view EtoL as a great trope if one want to showcase character development the most in their story, and Sci-fi genre to be great to if one want to showcase world building. Of course they’re not the only factors but you know what I mean? 3

I honestly get anxious when I see a word count that’s a little compare to what a story in my opinion requires. Some people manage tho but it really depends. But anyway, seeing you aware of that and watching you take your time with it speaks good stuff (wow, expression skills 100%) (srry, not native English speaker) I noticed that in my previous asks I’m all over the place, even in my first language I stumble in my words if I get excited, you’re doing great job in understanding me so thanks lol

But for real tho just keep going, I’m sure great things are waiting for you :) and I’m an intp btw. A few years back when I first took mbti it said INTJ (yeah right lol). Back then I didn’t know, in theory, I relate to many intj things but as I learnt more I came to realize that I’m no INTJ, like, many important decision in my life I took it spontaneously or in a whim:p my major for example hehe. The point is that many critical traits that distinguish INTJ from the rest simply aren’t me.

So, I decided that fine! I’m gonna do it myself :p That’s why l learned the theory. My head became a mess and at some point I wondered if I’m entp, infp, or intp. But intp’s the most accurate so yeah. Have a nice day/night! 💛 #thanks4remembering #yellowsmyfav #like HHA!oc ;)

ASEEL!!! 🥺🥺🥺 Thank you for this sweet sweet messages you've been sending me. The recent days have been hell for me bc I have to do academic works and some personal stuff are going down in my home rn. So omygod, this ask just put a smile on my face after so long of...not smiling! 😭😭😭 I'm glad I was able to make you feel good about yourself bc really, you deserve lots of good things in life for showering such a measly not-so-significant writer like me with so much love!

OOH INTP does suit you the best!! The way you analyze my characters in THH and give well-thought reviews of my works does give off the creative and yet rational vibe of the Logician! Your questions about my work as well as your thoughts always surprise me bc goddamn, I really didn't think I'll ever have a smart reader who'll understand the in's and out's and the nitty gritties of my writings! Just the way you immediately and accurately got THH!Yoongi's personality type says a lot about you!

Yes, you're right about E2L and sci-fi. I only understood now while writing it, how good an enemies to lovers trope can serve as a great tool to show character development. Since characters are gonna transition from one relationship to another that's totally opposite to it, development should surely happen bc changing one's perception takes a lot of work! And god, YES, sci-fi heavily relies on world-building bc you're apparently making up a world (and science-y inventions and cool gadgets and stuff!) you've totally never experienced before! Bc of My Time, I kinda want to try a hand on steampunk science fiction some day 😊.

Aseel, I'm so happy you appreciate every single word I put on my works 🥺😆. Writing stories with large wordcounts have always been my insecurity bc I always tend to go for them even if I know the current trend in online fiction is that audiences want them shorter. But I still go for long wordcounts bc what you said is true. Good worldbuilding can make any story greater than it already is. (And I also love worldbuiding bc I tend to escape into different worlds in my head whenever reality becomes too much for me and i,,, just want to share them to you and my hons so you could also get lost in them with me djsksk). I 'm also glad I manage to bring out what you're looking for in movies, books, games, etc. in my writings. Fulfilling my readers needs and wants has always been a goal accomplished for me! And also after all, my ultimate dream is to write a book someday :")

Hey, it's alright to be all over the place and stumble in yoir words! I'm not a native English speaker as well. I word vomit a lot and really do be all over the place in a lot of times (like right now asdfghjkl). I even tend to have a lot of typos lmao. And I skip from one subject to another in record time and this is worse when I speak in my native language 😆. So don't worry about your messages! They're actually constructed well and they always deliver your thoughts and love so effectively! (Like i kno we're probsbly miles apart and yet u got me blushing so much rn!)

Aseel, thank you for always seeing the effort I put in my writings and appreciating it so so much! It is a blessing for every writer to have such a thoughtful and smart reader like you 🥺. God, you even remember all the little details I wrote like THH!OC's favorite color EYE-. I just feel so so HAPPY I managed to find you 💞

What's your major btw? Mine's organizational communication! I really want to take up literature or creative writing but life happens so I'm in org comm now 😆 I study literature on my own now tho. And yes, I'll always remember those yellow hearts wherever they may appear in my blog! You're that iconic™️!

[walkerismychoice]

For Law and Love - Chapter 12

Book: Desire and Decorum - Modern day AU

Paring: Ernest Sinclaire X MC

Raiting: PG-13

A/N: This is sort of shorter transitional chapter. but I felt it was best to get this stuff out of the way and cut it off here

Summary: Anna and Ernest deal with the fallout of the incident with Professor Richards

Word Count: 1457

Law and Love Master List  - Catch up here

The last week had been a whirlwind of giving statement after statement to police, lawyers, and school officials. Anna was thankful to have come out mostly unscathed, but as word spread of her ordeal, one by one more victims came forward, and not all were as lucky as her. Some had been afraid to say no, and gave into Professor Richards demands out of fear of the alternative, other’s had refused and failed out of law school, or worse. Things that could have happened to Anna had she not put up a fight, and she didn’t even want to think about just how lucky she was. The school set her up with a therapist which was helpful even after the first visit, but saw the value in continuing on because she realized she could have been benefiting from therapy all along.

Professor Richards was put on immediate suspension and class was cancelled for a week pending the investigation. By some miracle, professor Richards’s attorney must have convinced him not to press charges against Ernest given all the serious accusations against him, but Ernest wasn't in the clear yet. He still had go before the Dean and the rest of the law school's administrative board to determine what, if any, action would be taken against him.

~~~~~

Ernest bit at his nails as he sat in front of the board nervously awaiting the start of the hearing. In his opinion Professor Richards deserved a whole lot more than a punch to the face, but he also understood the threat of immediate danger to Anna had passed and that they could easily find him in violation of the school's code of conduct. He didn't know what type of punishment to expect, but he could handle just about anything short of being expelled.

“Mr. Sinclaire,” Dean Henning began as the other board members watched on attentively. “As you know, we are here today to discuss your incident with Professor Richards. You are aware that we have a zero tolerance policy for violence, correct?”

“Yes, Sir.” Ernest answered, lowering his eyes to the floor.

“Based on my own knowledge and interviews with others in the school that know you, this type of behavior is out of character for you. I imagine you wouldn’t have resorted to assaulting Professor Richards without just cause. Am I correct in assuming you acted as you did out of concern for Ms. Edgewater’s safety?” The dean questioned.

If he Ernest was being completely honest, Anna was already physically out of harm’s way by the time he got there. “Well,...”

“Mr. Sinclaire, I do already have statements from Mr. Harper and Mr. Prince confirming you were acting in defense of Ms. Edgewater. If you say no more, I will accept that as your agreement, and we can put this to rest. I’m guessing Professor Richards will be too busy with his other battles to put up a fight on this front.” Ernest couldn’t be certain, but he thought he detected a hint of a smile on the dean’s lips. He glanced at the other board members and noticed a couple of them smirking as well. Maybe Professor Richards nasty reputation extended beyond just the students

Ernest let out an audible sigh of relief. “Thank you, Sir.”

“Very well then.” Dean Henning very clearly smiled this time. “We do have another matter to discuss.”

“Okay...” Ernest’s heart started beating faster again, not knowing what else he could have done wrong.

“No need to worry. It’s nothing bad,” Dean Henning reassured him. “Although Professor Richard’s future remains uncertain, he is suspended indefinitely. This is a concern because there is still a month left in the semester, and we need someone to head up teaching Business Law. The department has talked it over and we believe you are the best person for the job.”

“What?” Was Ernest hearing this right? Moments ago he was worried about being kicked out of law school, and now they were asking him to head up the course. “But I’m just a law student. Why me over anyone else?”

“To be honest, if there were another professor who knew the material and had availability, that would be our top choice, but at this point, you are by far the most qualified. It is not unprecedented for graduate students to instruct undergraduate courses and we are confident you know the material. Mr. Harper and Mr. Prince are good students as well, but you are at the top of your class. They will continue to act as your teaching assistants and you will present the material to the class. We are aware that Professor Richards was relying heavily on the three of you, so the workload shouldn’t be that much more for you. What do you say?” The dean asked expectantly.

His mind was still reeling from the sudden turn of events, but he knew he needed to do it. “Yes, I’ll do.”

“Excellent.” Dean Henning reached across the table to shake Ernest’s hand. “Just one more thing. I do not need to know the details of your personal life, but I feel it may be necessary spell out that professor/student relationships are forbidden. Although you lack the technical title, you are acting in the role, and we will need you to abide by this rule, at least until the semester ends and final grades are submitted.”

Ernest’s heart sunk upon the realization. “Understood.” It was only a month. He an Anna could handle a month apart, couldn’t they? 

~~~~~

Ernest had texted Anna immediately after the hearing to meet her at his office with no further details. He was seated at his desk when she arrived. She grabbed the handle to shut the door, but he stopped her. “You can leave that open.” 

There was a formality in his tone she wasn’t used to and Anna started to worry. She sat down in the chair opposite his at the desk. “How did the hearing go? Are you okay?”

Ernest smiled wearily. “It went very well, actually. Apparently I have some very good friends willing to vouch for me, and professor Richards has enough enemies that there will be no action taken against me. In fact, you are looking at the new stand-in professor for the rest of the semester.”

“Seriously? That’s great news!” Anna jumped up and ran around the desk to give Ernest a hug but he held a hand up to keep her back. 

“Unfortunately, that means we cannot continue our relationship for the remainder of the semester. I’m sorry, Anna.”

His actions now made sense and Anna feared the worst. “So are we breaking up?”

Ernest looked out into the hallway and then spoke softly. “No, not at all. It’s just that with everything that’s happened, neither of us can afford to take any chances here. We can’t risk being seen in any inappropriate situations. I’m still all yours if you can wait. 

A month was such an insignificant amount of time, yet a month without touching, kissing, or holding Ernest seemed like an eternity. However, given the alternatives, it wasn’t the worst thing she could have to endure. “Hmm. A month is a long time, and I do have a lot of other prospects...kidding, kidding. Of course I can wait. I’d even wait two months for you.”

Ernest shook his head and laughed. “We’ll see how things go, but for now I’ll only be able to see you in class. Unless...There would be nothing stopping you from volunteering at the legal aid clinic on Saturdays when I do. They can always use extra help filling and filing paperwork. You don’t need any special training and it would look good on your law school application.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. Strictly to help me with Law School, and not because there might some hot law school students there.” Anna smirked. 

“I would tell you that you better be talking about me, but that would be inappropriate, so I’ll just say I hope the opportunity is everything you are looking for. I do have to have to run to another class now, but maybe I’ll see you at the clinic tomorrow.” As they stood to leave, Ernest peered out into the hallway, and then pulled Anna behind the door and out of view. He wrapped his arms around her and brought his lips down on hers, kissing her like he needed it to be enough to last. 

Anna kissed him back with equal eagerness and longing before the finally broke apart. “I know you aren’t going anywhere, but I miss you already.”

Ernest hugged her tightly to his chest. “This will be over in no time. We’ll make it work. I know we will.”     

Tag List:  @symonde @timmagicktoad @reputationbee @antumbral @flowerpowell @flyawayboo @hellospunkiebrewster @boneandfur @tmarie82 @debramcg1106 @lizeboredom @simplyaiden-blog @the-writerly-night-owl, @quacksonlover @thefarrari @snickette @hhiggs @marianagmt @drakewalkerfantasy @mistersinclaire @jessweb84 @marshmallow-ortega @butindeed @fluffy-marshmallow-heart @confessionsofabrokegirl @akrenich @alexanderkeith-77-blog @nicestrokepam @cocomaxley @leelee10898 @blackcatkita @yesterday4 @shelivesinthewoods @snyggflicka @nekkidmolerat @srry-itshockeyszn @walkerduchess @choicesyouplayandmore @andy-loves-corgis @katurrade @too-poor-to-buy-keys @endless-vall @hopefulmoonobject @damienazarios @pens-girl-87 @catlady0911 @thatspicegirlssong

[rogerina-yee-haw]

Truth or Dare, Part 2

Ben Hardy x OC (original character)

Summary: Ben and Jane have been friends since they were eleven years old. They’ve shared secrets, their sorrows and happiness, but there is something they have never confessed to each other - and it’s their love.

Warnings: language (i curse a lot, so yeah, be ready), bullying, angst, mentions of suicidal behavior

A/n: here’s part 2! it’s a kind of slow burn, so...yeah. it’s also long again. enjoy!! (i do not own any gifs, credits to the owners uwu). excuse my mistakes, srry, i’m really dumb haha  btw, Ben’s real last name is Jones, in case you didn’t know (k thx it’s enough of the author’s note i guess)

also, if you have something against lgbtq+, feel free not to read this fic and leave my page :)

you’re my best friend.

“You alright?” Ben lightly touches Jane’s arm and it sends shivers down her spine. She’s not alright with him touching her like that.

She shrugs her shoulders just to seem indifferent and turns to the window. “I will be, when I have those chicken nuggets”. She hears him chuckle, but it doesn’t make her smile. She has all these memories running through her mind and she can’t stop thinking. This pain reminds her of an old one, the scars of which are still fresh.

Ten years ago.

The laugh and insults were echoing in Jane’s mind as she was standing in the school hall, completely startled and shattered. She felt her heart breaking into million pieces when she saw Leah standing next to Naomi Frasier, who was victoriously sneering. Leah was standing there, and she was laughing at Jane. Everyone were laughing, loudly and disdainfully.

Jane felt like dying right there, in the hall, where people were coming near her, just to laugh and throw pictures in her face. Dying felt like the best option.

She heard a voice calling her from a huge distance. All voices actually merged in some mixture of sounds, and she couldn’t tell whether they were all real or just in her head.

“Jane!” The voice was getting louder and louder. Jane turned her head and saw her best friend, Jazminne, clasping her wrist. “Jane, please”, she looked at her pitifully, “let’s leave”.

Jane frowned, not quite realizing what Jazminne was saying. “Leave?” she mouthed.

Suddenly Jane felt a pinch on her left shoulder. After slowly turning her head, she almost bursted into tears. “Leave?” said Naomi, who was now standing near her. “Oh no, dear Jenny, you can’t leave. The party’s just started!” Naomi’s laugh was disgusting and ugly, but it brought Jane to her senses immediately. It also made her realize what had just happened.

What a bitch.

“Leave her the fuck alone, Naomi”, Jazminne let go of Jane’s wrist and came closely to the girl. “You’ve done enough; you’ve had your fun, now just stop”. Naomi was a bit shorter than Jazminne, who wasn’t actually really tall too – but Frasier still looked like a child compared to Gardner.

Naomi let out a laugh. “The problem is, Gardner, that I still want to have more fun. And also restore justice”. She looked at Jane. “We do not tolerate any immorality in our school. And that’s exactly what she’s been doing”, Naomi pointed at Jane.

God, she was angry. Jane looked at Jazminne’s hair, just not to look at Naomi’s obnoxious face. She clenched her hands so tightly that her nails were digging in the soft skin of her palm. How much do you have to hate someone to do something like that?

“Immorality?” Jazminne raised her brows. “Are you fucking kidding me, Frasier? What’s immoral about that?”

“You even wonder?” Naomi seemed to be genuinely surprised. “If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death. Their blood shall be upon them”.

“Are you seriously quoting the Bible right now?” Jazminne couldn’t believe her ears.

When Jazminne opened her mouth to say another thing, she was suddenly interrupted. “How the fuck is it about me?”

Naomi seemed to be puzzled by Jane’s comment; she didn’t expect her to speak at all. She looked at Jane and then sneered. Again.

“It’s the same thing. Men being with men is as equally gross as women being with women. It’s just not natural”.

“Against the laws of Mother Nature, right?”

“Glad you understand that, Chinny”.

Silence covered the whole hall as Jane continued speaking. “I don’t, actually. I don’t understand why would you take pictures of me kissing and making out with Leah and then humiliate me. I don’t understand why you make it look like I’ve killed someone. I haven’t harmed anyone but myself. I don’t, and I can’t understand that. I’m not sure I ever will”. Tears were burning Jane’s cheeks as she stormed out of the hall, and then out of the school. Jazminne gave Naomi a death stare that could kill Frasier right then and there, ripped one picture from the wall and ran after Jane.

She was out in the street, standing in the cold April rain and crying. She was hurt, so deeply and horribly, that she felt like she couldn’t live with it. She had never been hurt like that.

“Jane, come on”, Jazminne put her hand on Jane’s shoulder. “Let’s leave. You’ll get sick”.

“Maybe I’ll die after that”. She could barely speak as her teeth were chattering.

“Don’t say that”.

Jane looked at Jazminne and bit her lip, trying to stop herself from weeping. “Come on, Jane. Let’s go home”.

After a moment Jane was sitting in Jazminne car, trying to warm herself up. She was doing it unintentionally – because in reality all Jane wanted was to freeze in the street and die quickly.

“Do you want to talk?” Jazminne said before starting the car. Jane shook her head and turned to the window. Jazminne let out a deep sigh. These fifteen minutes just won’t be easy, she thought, they will be silent and sad. And they were indeed.

When the car stopped at the Chinny’s house driveway, Jane almost flew out of the car. Jazminne took a deep breath and followed her best friend.

Jane was quick to find the keys in her bag. Jazminne just took one step into the house, when Jane was already running up the stairs. Jaz was rushing after her; she was constantly thinking that Jane might do something to herself. Something terrible. She couldn’t let that happen.

She came into Jane’s room and saw her lying on the bed, loudly crying. She was weeping. With her face buried in pillows and her muffled sobs, Jane looked as wretched as ever. Jazminne was on the verge of crying herself. She couldn’t bear seeing her best friend suffering. “Janey”, she tried to hide the trembling in her voice, “Janey, please, talk to me. I will do anything to help you”.

Jane raised her head and looked Jazminne straight in the eyes. Her face was fully red from crying, and she was angry. “What you’re gonna do, Jaz?” her voice sounded bitter. “How you’re gonna undo everything? There is no way to fix that”, she said resting her head on the pillow, “Nothing can be done. I’m going to be bullied even more. Now for my sexuality”, she let out a sad chuckle, and her eyes were filled with tears again. Jazminne sighed deeply and sat down on the floor, in front of Jane’s bed.

“Look, you’ve got to tell me what happened between you and Leah. So that Emily and I could start plotting the revenge plan”.

“I don’t want that”.

“What do you want us to do, then?”

Jane looked at her. “To leave me the fuck alone, Jaz. That’s all I want now”.

Jazminne nodded and silently left her friend’s room; while closing the door, she heard Jane sobbing once again.

She didn’t know what to do. She and Emily weren’t of great use and Emily especially, with her sneezing and coughing right now. Calling Jane’s parents weren’t an option either – Jane probably hadn’t come out to them yet; so it would be difficult to explain all of it to them at once. It was one way. Jazminne didn’t quite like it, but he would be certainly of great help.

She ran downstairs; it took her a couple of minutes to take the phone in her hands and find Jones’ home number. It was the first time in Gardner’s life when she was praying for him to pick up. “Hello”, Jaz let out a breath of relief, when she heard his raspy, sleepy voice.

“Ben, it’s Jazminne. I need you to come to Jane’s house. She’s in trouble. I’m afraid she might do something to herself”.

In ten minutes Ben was already knocking on the front door; not loud enough for Jane to hear it, though.

“What happened?” he whispered, when Jazminne locked the door after him.

“Naomi ‘outed’ her”, Jaz said quietly. “In front of the whole school”.

Ben looked too confused, and Jaz had a sudden desire to punch him in his stupid face. “Gardner, I have no fucking idea what ‘outed’ means”. Jazminne sighed.

“She’s bisexual”. Jaz was quite for a moment. “So Naomi found that out and revealed it to everyone at school, without Jane’s permission. That’s what ‘outed’ means”.

Ben closed his eyes and sighed. What the fuck? “Did you know about that?” he asked that, obviously hiding the real question which was “Did she tell you?”

“Emily and I only assumed, never asked her directly”, Jazminne shrugged. “You had no idea, had you?”

Ben shook his head. “Feels like a brand new world”, he mumbled, heading upstairs. “You staying?”

“Yeah”, Jaz answered. “Just in case”.

Ben nodded and went to Jane’s room; he was puzzled, confused, startled. Jane was bi? How come he had never noticed that? How come he had never asked? How come she had never told him?

He quietly knocked on her door. There was no answer. He knocked again.

“Go away”. Her voice sounded sharply; but Ben knew she was just hiding her pain under that. He opened the door and came in.

Jane sat down on the bed, tightly hugging her pillow; her face was as red as the shirt Ben was wearing, her makeup completely ruined and her hair was a mess. But she, somehow, looked ridiculously beautiful to Ben.

“The fuck you doing here?” she said, looking at him.

“T’s a warm welcome”.

“I don’t want to see you”. She turned her head and started starring at the wall. Ben knew she did that only to hide her tears.

“Yes, you do. You always want to see me”, he sat down on the bed, facing her.

“Not now”, she answered and bit her lip. Jane took a deep breath and that was the moment Ben understood what he had to do. He moved closer to her and touched her hand gently.

“Come here”.

Jane finally pulled her eyes of the wall and looked at Ben. It seemed to him that he could see the world in her eyes.

“No, or I’ll cry again. I don’t want to cry anymore, Ben”, she whispered, covering her face with her hands. Ben was fast enough to put his arms around her and pull her closer. He felt his heart beating too fast, and it made him a bit nervous. But it wasn’t as much important at that moment as Jane, who was sobbing into his chest, while clinging to the back of his shirt. She needed that, she needed a good cry. She also needed someone to hold her close, running their fingers through her hair and quietly whispering, “It’s okay”. Ben was that someone; and Jane didn’t need anybody else. Just her best friend. 

They both didn’t know how much time passed before Jane stopped crying; she slowly pulled away from Ben, wiping her cheeks and breathing heavily. “I ruined your tee-shirt”, she sniffled, “sorry ‘bout that”.

“Got plenty of ‘em”, Ben looked at her. “Stop apologizing”.

In fact, he couldn’t stop looking at her. He felt a sudden necessity to wipe her tears away with his thumb and then kiss her. That desire sent shivers down his spine and made Ben swallow nervously; he couldn’t understand why he was thinking like that about his best friend.

“Thanks”, she said quietly, looking at him. Ben’s heart was ready to jump out of his chest. Why’s it happening to me?

“Don’t even mention it”. Jane took a deep breath and for a moment Ben was scared she was going to cry again; but she just swallowed and looked back at him.

“Did Jaz tell you anything?”

“Only that Naomi ‘outed’ you”, Ben was going to continue speaking, but Jane interrupted him.

“What’s ‘outed’?”

Ben let out a chuckle. “Means she told everyone you’re bisexual without your consent. I didn’t know either what it means either”. Jane’s cheeks flushed and Ben, once again, saw her eyes filling with tears. He took her hand in his and gently squeezed it. “Jane, you can tell me. I won’t ever judge you”.

She looked at him and sighed deeply. Ben felt her hand shaking. “I was going to tell you, I just…just…couldn’t”, she stuttered, as she felt the oxygen leaving her whole body; Jane thought she was going to choke on tears, anger and pain. “I didn’t even tell my parents, I was so scared”, she whispered, “scared that something like this would happen”.

“What happened exactly?” Ben asked carefully, hoping she would tell him.

Jane took a deep breath. “A month ago I had my first kiss. With a girl”, she was silent for a moment. “With Leah Kay”. Ben raised his eyebrows; he was truly taken aback by this.

“Leah Kay?” he said loudly, “the most talentless and obtuse person alive? Seriously, Jane?”

“Could you just shut up?” she suddenly got annoyed; no wonder it happened – Ben was always able to change Jane’s emotional state from one to another with a snap of the fingers. “I’m trying to open up here!” Ben smiled, and Jane pinched his shoulder. He sighed and apologized; and he never let go of her hand. “So we were going out, kissing, making out in her house, and…” Jane swallowed. “And turned out Naomi had planned all of it. She was taking pictures of us, while Leah was just lying to me all the time. Today at school there was a whole exhibition of our pictures”. Jane’s whole face went red again, and one tear was streaming down her cheek; she tried to swallow the lump in her throat, and Ben could feel her pain. It made his heart break into pieces; he had never seen Jane being so vulnerable and defenseless. She was always the tough one, the girl who never cried. Ben cried way more often than Jane did, if being honest.

It made him sick; as he thought about what she had to face at school today. Naomi had always been an ass towards Jane, but what she did today totally crossed the line. Jane didn’t deserve it. No one did.

Jane sniffled. “Feels like this crying will never stop”. She wiped the tears with the back of her palm and sighed. “Maybe I just deserved it or whatever”.

“No”, her eyes seemed to know no end, as Ben just couldn’t stop looking in them. He had never noticed before how wonderful they looked. “You did not deserve that”.

It seemed like she needed his reassurance, his warmth and help. She sniffled one more time and clenched her hand tightly again, making her nails dig into her skin; but this time Ben was there to take her hand into his.

“Don’t do this”, he said quietly. He held her hand for a while before noticing the marks her nails left. He sighed deeply. How come he had never noticed how broken she was? Then Ben kissed her knuckles. Her skin was soft and it was the first time he noticed all the scars she had on the back of her palm.

“They do not deserve you”, he whispered’ holding her hands tightly and looking her right in the eyes. “None of them do”. Jane looked at him and felt a new urge to cry. This time it was because of the unconditional love she felt for her best friend.  

“Ben”, she gasped, “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to pay you back”.

He smiled softly. “You don’t have to. You are my best friend. I’ll do anything for you”.

 back to the presence.

The cab stops at the red light; Jane is still looking out of the window. Ben is stressed out by her behavior, unable to sit straight. He is twisting and turning, until Jane finally notices his movements.

“Your ass scratching or what?” she is annoyed; Jane looks at him and he freezes under her gaze. “Stop this moving, you’re going to get us kicked out of the car!” She has no idea why she is so angry with Ben suddenly. Of course, she is still displeased about seeing him with another girl and about her feelings in general – but this came out too harsh and sharp.

“Always polite and nice, as usual”, he mutters. “If you didn’t behave as weird as you do, I wouldn’t be turning, trying to get your attention”.

Jane snorts. “Oh, sorry I do not pay attention to you. Thought you’ve had enough of it today”.

“And what do you mean by that?”

She sighs. “Nothing. Haven’t you got it already? I don’t always mean something by my stupid words”.

Ben knows that she does. He knows exactly what she means; and it is him and that girl in a blue dress. She is jealous – this is something Ben can’t get over that easily. He just wishes to kiss her right now, on the backseat of this cab. He wants to run his fingers through her hair and hear her quite moans as he deepens the kiss. He knows she’ll shiver under his touch; he’s sure her hands will be around his neck as he pulls her closer to him. He knows it’ll happen; it will certainly occur in the future. Just not now.

“Ben”, she suddenly turns to him again, “remember when you humiliated Leah Kay in front of the whole town?”

Ben frowns for a second, trying to remember that exact moment; but then he snorts loudly. “First of all, I did not humiliate her. It’s not my fault that she had never learnt her lines for our plays. That she didn’t know the plot of ‘Romeo and Juliet’?” He looks at Jane, as she smiles. “Not my fault either”.

“Sure thing”, her mood has changed again; Jane really starts thinking her period’s gonna come early. “It’s not your fault that only in her script there was a line ‘Romeo, thy dick is thick’, which got her suspended later”, Ben grins at her words and nods. “Anyways, I never got to thank you for that. So thank you, Ben”, the car stops when Jane says his name, and they sit in silence for a couple of seconds.

Ben takes a deep breath as he looks her right in the eyes. “Don’t even mention it, Jane”.

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hey, tell me what you think please! should i continue or not? btw, thank you all for reading, it means the world to me <3

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