#this is a joke btw do not yell at me

[illyrianbitch]

god political correctness is ruining our society, like wdym people cant sell y/n to one direction anymore?

[spaciebabie]

at first getting diagnosed with cptsd was like, "yay my trauma has been validated (it always was valid)!" and i really thought that was going to be it, but then i started to do research as i do whenever i realize i have something and learned that!! the way i experience socialization is!! quite horrid actually!!

[rjam9]

when i was a young child, i was something that some would call “a little bitch.” this meant that i was very averse to anything that caused me any sort of pain or fear. alongside that, i also had a fucked up mouth inherited from my mother’s side of the family (and still do to this day, because braces can’t fix everything, kids!). this is only somewhat relevant but important to mention as a precedent. most of it came down to being a little bitch, though.

when i was around the age that most people lost their baby teeth and their adult teeth came in, i went through the process like any other child. most of my baby teeth fell out, i had an endearing tooth gap for awhile, then my adult teeth came in. the key word here being “most.” see, not all my baby teeth fell out on their own, and because i was too afraid of the pain that came with wiggling them, it meant that my baby teeth got loose, but never … left my mouth.

(i like to think that a part of this was caused, in part, by my fucked up mouth genetics. i know for a fact that it was actually because i was a wimp.)

but here’s the thing about adult teeth, if you didn’t know — they will come whether you like it, or your mouth has space for them, or not! this meant that i had an adult tooth that came in when i still had my baby tooth in, resulting in it pushing my still-loose baby tooth OUT OF THE WAY, and having double the amount of teeth for a few short months. of course, this wasn’t THAT big of a deal — my mom simply took me to the dentist, they numbed my mouth, and pulled out my loose baby tooth. i didn’t even need to be put under for it, luckily enough.

my dentist (still my dentist to this day, who at this point, desperately needs to retire) simply advised me in the future to wiggle my baby tooth despite the pain, so we did not need to bring me in for mild surgery again. my mom threatened me that if i didn’t wiggle my teeth we would be recreating a Robert Munsch book in real life.

this went on to happen five more times.

TAGS: @the-chaotic-anon @thoughtsofjess @subtleshenanigans

it's so weird to me that everyone on this website is a human person outside of their weird internet niche so rb this with a random bit of your lore

[david-watts]

got chased away from the living room, again, because I asked if I could put something else on instead of listening to d*tton whinging about his nuclear power 'plan', and thus got told 'it's only for a few minutes' 'there's multiple topics in this programme' 'I we want to watch what's on next [in nearly half an hour] anyway' which I will continue on about in the tags inevitably but my m*ther accidentally did revenge for me by dousing her dessert in cream that expired a fortnight ago (which I suspect was kept because my grandmother doesn't have any rhyme or reason to what she keeps in the fridge, especially with dairy products. expiry dates are up for interpretation!)

[sweaters-and-vertigo]

i’m very sad that no one filmed my post sinus surgery loopiness yesterday….. rip loopy rachel

[experiencedbullshitter]

Highly recommend making OCs with your bestie. Also highly recommend making them all a part of an interconnected universe with many complexities and hours upon hours of tedious (fun for us) world building. It’s amazing for your mental health. Will we share this with people? Probably not, but we have fun making it together.

[lathrine]

i started to put this in the tags and then changed my mind. i actually went out and bought the 2021 print of Flintstones comic because of this post. i read the whole thing in two days (250 pages, not my most impressive but its Fine) and im here to report back that this is a really fucking good book. really really really good. i cried at the end! you dont have to spend $50 on the physical copy like i did, but you SHOULD absolutely sit down and read it. since finishing the book not a single day has gone by where i dont think about a scene, moment, or line from it. it might be genuinely life changing.

This looks like a fucking parody post, or an edgy edit, but it’s 100% official real Flintstones.

[othercrossee]

am i a hypocrite for rbing that and bein a fan of toya be honest with me

[raddishwrites]

Are y’all fuckers ready for part two?

[suiana]

(yandere! ex x gn! reader) (GUESS WHOS DAY ITIS !!"!"!)

finally.

he thinks, letting out an excited squeal while swooning over you through the thin glass. gripping he window stills, he peers in through the clear material, taking in the sight of you laying down on your bed.

how cute. you were so blissfully unaware of his presence. on one hand it was good. you wouldn't be able to chase him away if you didn't know he was there. after all, you've been awfully on edge around him, calling him a stalker and yelling for him to leave your shared apartment. how rude! don't you know it's mean to ask him, your boyfriend btw, to leave?

no matter, he'll play into your games for a bit. it's just a small joke you're playing on him. there's no way you want him gone and out of your life.

but it really sucked! why? because he wouldn't be able to celebrate your special day with you! :(((

it was like... you were trying to hurt him with your actions! how could you do such a thing??? don't you know how much you mean to him? how he just wants to spend every waking moment by your side, making you happy and celebrating your every milestone together? for you to forbid him from getting near you while such an important day, such as your birth...

"sigh... at least i was the first to tell you happy birthday..."

he mumbles, looking at you through the window. he shakes his ass, hearts in his eyes as he appreciates and admires the adorable you. well, of course he had to be the first to say happy birthday to you! he was your boyfriend!

you didn't acknowledge it though. he would've told you in person but you refused to open any doors or windows for him. so he had to resort to online messaging. the message didn't send on his messaging app or his main social media account... but after several other messages from his (many) alternate accounts...

yeah, you hadn't responded either. but hey! at least the message sent, right? you probably just... got too engrossed in reading or something! you'll look at his message sooner or after-

...

were you looking at his message?

did you just... delete it??

"hey! what are you doing baby?!"

he suddenly crawls in through the window, breaking into the apartment with wide, crazed eyes. no, no, no! why were you being so mean?! he knows you're mad or something and that you want to play a joke of him not being yours anymore but-

this was way too far! how could you not respond and even delete his messages?!

"i said happy birthday? are you mad? you don't like it? what about the money i sent? did you like that at least? ah baby! please don't be mad anymore! it hurts me so much to see you ignore me!"

the man desperately clings to you, sobbing while mumbling the lyrics to happy birthday under his breath. he can't take this teasing anymore! gah! you've gotten under his skin too good!

...meanwhile you could only shriek in terror, face completely horrified as you stare at your ex boyfriend who had... climbed up several stories to enter your apartment?? what the fuck?? just to wish you happy birthday??? wait no, he was yelling about how you deleted his messages so...

he was there for how long already?! god damn him!

you just wanted a normal birthday for once! this happened last year too, damnit!

letting out a sudden screech, you smack him hard across the cheek before kicking him off you. you then proceed to drag him by the collar, tossing this useless stalker sack of potatoes out your window.

"get out!"

"a-aye aye sir!"

[slamminslamminmcgill]

Can you pretty please write a fic where Logan and Deadpool are having an argument about how they should be fucking the reader, like going over techniques while the reader is just drooling and mindless like “whaaa”

hell YEAH i love getting fucked stupid by big strong men >:3333€

this is a rly good prompt btw so i could GLADLY expand on this but for rn here’s a snippet 😌

warning: dp, painal, sadomasochism, mild transphobia, slurs, degradation, overstim, dubcon, daddy kink

anatomical terms: cunt/pussy/bussy

They talk about you like you’re not even there.

Well, physically you were right there with them. Mentally you were nowhere to be found, certainly not on their conversational level. Wade had been bouncing you in his lap for god knows how long. His cock in your cunt had thoroughly fucked your train of thought off the tracks. Your internal monologue was nothing but bitchy whimpers and primal burning for more. Welp. What do you expect? Back to back orgasms will do to that to you. You couldn’t even recall how the argument started, and context would’ve really been helpful.

“Wow! Okay! That’s a shitty thing to say to our guest! Wanna apologize and maybe try that one again, JK Rowling?”

"Oh, get fucked. That's not what I meant and you know it." Logan kept his firm hands on your shoulders, assisting your bounce, since your legs were damn near liquified.

“Mmmmm, ah, gah-fuuuck… Wh... Wha? Huh?”

“How is that not what you meant?" Wade, questioned, maintaining his steel grip on your ass. He felt that he had to protect you from the big bad wolf and his transphobia. "You just said he’s not a real man because he has a pussy. A tight, sweet, JUICY pussy that feels like a fleshlight full of microwaved angel dust. And yet SOMEHOW this makes him not a real man to you? Maybe you’re just not man enough for HIM, sugar-tits!”

"I said you gotta fuck him like a real man. You’re being too good to him. It's gonna fuel his ego, and I’m not letting you turn him into a spoiled brat. Fuck him in the ass, that'll teach him a lesson. Show him this shit ain't a joke."

"No way! Ass is ass is ass is ass. Everybody's got an asshole, peanut, and newsflash? They all feel the same. But this boy's pussy? This hot buttery premium A5 wagyu bussy that's—SQUEEZINGmyfuckingdicksotight, oh, fuck, fuckfuckfuck, angel baby, sweet boy, you feel so GOOD! Making your Daddy feel so good, good boy!"

Praise was easy enough to process. It didn't require any cognitive effort on your part. You didn't have to weigh in and have an opinion, you just have to take it, and be grateful for it. "Hah, fuck! Thank—thank you, Daddy! FUCK! Wade! WadeWadeWadeWade—WADE! WadeWadeWade..."

But Logan wouldn't let it go. "I'm serious. Make him take it up the ass, or I will."

“Un-be-lievable. You know something? You must be the one guy in this universe who could see a whimsical forest path that leads to a magical unicorn fountain, and says 'Oh, no, none for me. Let me go spelunking in the poop-chute, thank you very much!' And if that's not the single gayest thing I've seen in my entire—"

"WADE, SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"Eeep!"

Oh, you poor thing. He nearly gave you a heart attack! It's terrifying when someone yells out of nowhere, especially when that someone has you naked and vulnerable in their hands. Logan had slammed you down on Wade's cock when he yelled, completely stopping the scene and trapping you between them. Woah. Time out. Shit has officially just gotten real. You and Wade held bated breath, and traded a glance that said "We're cooked. Nice knowing ya."

But Logan just laughed at you both. Delighted by the atmospheric tension he had just created.

"Heh... heh heh heh..."

Then he relaxed his grip on you, and those big strong calloused man hands started to explore. They massaged your shoulders, rubbed your neck and jaw, and groped and squeezed wherever they pleased. All the while, his hot breath, tinted with whiskey and malice, ghosted over the shell of your ear as he talked. He spoke very firmly. Targeted. Slow. He wanted you to get every fucking word.

"Listen, bub. I’m not about to question whether or not you’re a man, okay? But I’ll say this. When real men wanna take cock? It hurts. Oh, it hurts real bad. And most of ‘em don’t get the luxury of a cushy little cunt that’s meant to take a pounding. No, son. Real men get ripped apart by cock. It makes them cry and scream and sometimes their tiny little rims even bleed because of it. And you know what? They love it. They love how much it hurts them. Cause they’re men. Strong men. And you’re no fuckin’ better than them, you know that? You think just cause you got another hole that you can take the easy way out? Everything's gonna be peaches and cream, huh? Nuh uh. Not on my watch, you little shit. You wanna act like you're such a fag? Well then you’re getting fucked like one of us too."

…

…

…

“Jesus fucking Christ, babycakes, if you don’t want him up your ass I’ll GLADLY take the heat for you.”

[ellabscrush]

— play with my pussy, not my heart.

a/n; this has been an idea in my head for awhile but kept scrapping it, hopefully this is alr. btw my requests are opennn.

𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐫!𝐚𝐛𝐛𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

cw; smut, mdni, fingering, reader has a nervous habit that might triggering, dom!reader, flirting, language, slap kink once, arguing, abby is a dick here lol, trust issues, angst?? lmk if i missed any!!

sypnosis; your well known girlfriend who has a reputation of being a player finally decides to settle into a serious relationship with you. aware of your girlfriend’s past, abby’s project partner comes to intervene with your thoughts & worries. back and forth arguing isn’t going anywhere, you had to show her other ways on who not to mess with.

— ˚ෆ ⋅˚ —

“it’s just a small study sesh baby, nat even agreed to do it at our apartment!” abby walks towards you as she hovers over, “so no need to worry, ‘kay?”

she caresses your face and pecked your lips.

nat, aka natasha ferreira, is apart of western university’s dance team. you’ve seen her around before wearing white flowy skirts and layered jewelry. you once heard her talking about how her parents got a brand new bmw for her quinceañera.

i guess there was nothing to hate about her, other than the fact she is gorgeous and very talented with her dancing. this was just another one of your stupid overthinking.. right?

“okay abs.. thank you,” you gave her a soft smile.

“that’s my best girl.”

besides, trust was the thing you both had been working on these past months. dating abby was going to be a challenge. you knew it and your friends knew it. though they weren’t too supportive with her intentions at first, you were convinced abby could change her acts if she reallyy tried.

three knocks suddenly interrupted your little conversation. abby sprinted to the door and opens it to find a joyful figure in front of her.

nat gasps, “abby! this is my first time seeing you outside of uni,” she smiles with excitement.

abby smiled back and leaned for a hug, leaving you to stare at them with a lump of jealousy in your throat.

— ˚ෆ ⋅˚ —

one minute you were next to abby, and then the second the brunette is touching forearms besides her with those stupid doe eyes, glossed lips, and weirdly seductive black platform heels. god she’s annoying.

“your handwriting is shit!” the brunette teased, giggling as she leans to abby.

“yeah?” your girlfriend chuckles, “this is what you get for choosing me as your partner.”

nat shrugs, “well then i can deal with it.”

you tried so hard to not be bitter. really you did. but each time you glance at the two across the kitchen island, you swore the both of them were doing this shit on purpose.

sudden eye contacts with you everytime they laughed together, unrelated conversations, and some flirty remarks. oh, and not to mention the obvious footsies that was happening under the table. like you can literally see it.

“fuck me..” you muttered.

“what’s that princess?” abby asks you, the nickname made nat changed her demeanor quickly.

you turned back to meet nat’s eyes, then to abby, and back to nat.

“nothin’ love,” you put a convincing smile.

three hours long night full of giggling and jokes you didn’t even get later on.. you find yourself yelling back and forth in your shared bedroom with abby who literally couldn’t understand where you were coming from.

abby groans, “goddamnit we talked about this!”

“i never did anything to her, you were literally infront of us,” she raised her voice.

“abs, she deadass rubbed her foot on your leg multiple times and leaned to you everytime you both laughed..”you went on, getting more frustrated by the minute.

“well.. we’re just having a little fun, is that romantic to you?” abby asks with her hand crossed to her chest, her facial expression screams ‘you’re being crazy.’

you were exhausted trying to find ways to communicate without bringing up abby’s past, like you both agreed to. however, your concerns shouldn’t supposed to end in argument. you shook your head, letting out a long sigh and sat on the edge of the bed.

“i- i don’t know abby,” you stammered, “i guess it is romantic when they do the things i do to you.. since i am yours.”

you gazed down at your feet with teary eyes while unaware as you were digging your nails into your thighs. this was a nervous habit of yours in which you don’t realize you have been doing it for so long. your girlfriend, however, does.

she slowly walks closer to the edge of the bed and kneeled down to your eye level.

“you are mine.” her voice sounding more reassuring and softer like you could faint at that moment.

“i thought you could’ve been better for me..” you sniffled

abby panicks once she realizes you were crying, “baby no.. fuck i’m trying..”

“trying?” you looked up.

the blonde sighs, “will. i will be better.”

she moved your hands from your thighs with one hand, while other pushes your head closer to hers for a deep kiss. more so, a sloppy one. she wipes your cheeks and the kisses started from sweet, to mean in a heartbeat. abby stroked you waist, making you clench you thighs together.

abby smirks, “you turned on princess?” she asks and you just whimpered in response, “fuck.. i gotta wake up early tomorrow.”

knowing your girlfriend has plans tomorrow morning, this sparked an idea in your head. abby can become a submissive mess when you’re in charge. so you decide to show her other ways who not to play with, and whose pussy she can only play with!

“so?” you replied in between kisses, “don’t want me to scream your name tonight?”

.. besides, making her miss out a big free brunch with her friends the next day will be an added punishment you thought.

the blonde smiles and throws you to the middle of the bed, causing you to squeal from the unexpected move. abby aggressively pulls down your shorts and underwear. your wet slick was ready for her.

“look at you all ready for me,” she circles her thumb on your lips slowly, “gotta fuck that jealousy out quick or else i’ll be late tomorrow, princess.”

you smiled maliciously in response as you bite your lip. abby then shoves her two fingers inside your mouth, “open.”

she pumps her ring and middle finger in and out. being all soaked in your drool making it wet enough to fit in your pussy. the sounds of your whimpers made her go crazy. you shut your eyes feeling abby’s cold, drenched fingers sliding inside.

your body shuttered, “s-shit baby..”

the sounds of your wet pussy is practically making abby drool.

“feels so fuckin’ good, keep going,” you ordered keeping a strong eye contact with the blonde, “just like that..”

“that fucking pussy,” abby whispers, you licked your lips looking down at her fat fingers going in and out, “you needy whore,” she degrades.

her words were like fire and heaven at the same time. you wouldn’t be so pissed off at her if she hadn’t let nat be all over her for three hours straight. now it’s your job to remind her whose pussy she can fuck. and the only one.

you let out an airy laugh, “i’m the whore hm? atleast i wasn’t flirting with another bitch,” she looks up at your face. you were trying to keep your composure while being mercilessly fucked.

you sat yourself up with elbows on the mattress, “you proud of yourself huh?” just inches away from her stupid smirk.

“faster,” you demanded.

she curled her fingers inside of you, hitting your g spot like a pro. you can help but let out a moan and rocked your hips in rhythm. that smirk of hets turned to an amazed expression once she hears your juices sloshing around.

“fuck baby,” abby was practically drenched under her pjs wanting to taste you, “p-please need to taste you.”

“nuh uh, you’re being mean all day. you don’t, f-fuck, deserve me.”

abby was desperate just by hearing you speak like this. you’re such an angel around her normally, like when she first met you, you were different than the other girls she had met before. she fell for you. but damn that mouth of yours was killer in bed.

the rare times you controlled her was only when you were pissed off at your girlfriend for the amount of disrespectful flirting that was happening in front of you, or not giving you updates on what she’s doing with her girl friends. however, you can’t blame yourself for having mixed trust issues knowing how many girlfriends abby has had.

maybe you’ve been too patient with her? letting shit go so easily?

“shit- c’mere” you groaned and kissed her viciously at the thought of her fucking another girl. one hand around her neck while the other grips her loose hair.

“mmm, keep going..” you moaned in her mouth.

abby rubs your clit, feeling your juices squirting all over her thighs, “p-please baby.. lemme clean you up” she begs to lick your folds but you resisted.

you slapped her cheek, her needy face turning red.

“shut up,” you growled, “better stop messing around.. i deserve fuckin’ better.”

abby whimpers, putting her head back in frustration. she then looks down to see you, a dripping pussy drunk mess. her fingers were sticky and all tired. however, she’s not stopping until she screams your name.

“atleast say my name when you cum,” she pleaded, “please.”

her voice made you feel every type of way. your thighs starting to heat up, a familiar feeling as you have had fucked yourself with the thought of her in the past. pounding noises as you thrust your hips on to her fingers harder puts many heated scenes in your head.

“abby.. oh my god- m’ fucking cumming..”

“that’s my girl, ride daddy’s dick,” she encourages you.

an orgasm was washing over you, “abby you’re mine. fuck- ah-“ you burried your face in the crooks of her neck.

“all yours baby, i’m sorry.” she kissed all over your shoulder, genuinely feeling bad that she didn’t give you the reassurance you wanted earlier.

“abs- fuckfuckfuck,” you screamed out, screaming her name loud enough the apartment below could hear you, “i hate you so much..”

“i love you princess.. love it when i make you cum..” she admits. your legs shaking like crazy, feeling overstimulated.

you know how that goes..

once you orgasmed, you let abby suck her fingers, tasting every bit of yourself. and just like that, you were laying down with a fast pounding in your chest. she caresses your stomach and kissed all over your body, still needing to feel you more. but knew you needed her the most.

“hey, you okay?” she asked softly, looking at your sleepy eyes. she just wanted the both of you to be good. “i’m fine.. just a little tired. i feel like you don’t know how badly it hurts me to see you purposely being all over people like that.”

abby sighs, knowing she fucked up. she didn’t want to be that person anymore. she loved you, really, but her actions just aren’t the thinkable. you both sleep skin to skin while she stays up to watch you fall deep in your sleep.

“i love you, angel.” she whispers. feeling all the guilt in her chest, your girlfriend pulls you in closer.

of course, she had to make it up to you the next day so she cancelled all plans. it’s not like she got up in time anyway.

well now you both know she won’t ever be doing that shit again.

— ˚ෆ ⋅˚ —

[taurasiluvr]

SEE YOUR MAN IS A MAN BUT HE AIN'T ME / SEE THAT * CAN'T BE WHAT HE CAN'T BE ── BUECKERS⁵

how you can help palestine part one part three

★ i got a couple requests for a prequel for my paige fic, so here it is!! ★ "queen u should do like a prequel to ur paige fic where u show what happened when the mc and bf was on break. ur writing is amazing btw 😘😘" /// "hey girlie, could u do a part two to the paige fic but like it’s sorta a prequel? like what happens when the reader and her bf were on a break. ur an amazing writer, thank u for ur service 🫡"

 ⠀ ── ⠀warnings ;; nsfw under the cut, mdni. fingering, oral (r receiving), more cheating, mentions of alcohol, ugly ass bf (ewww)

 ⠀ ── ⠀word count ;; 4.7k

 ⠀ ── ⠀rylin's notes ;; requests are open for those who want to send them in :p

"that's what i fucking said!" you shouted into the phone, frustration evident in your voice.

you glanced at your nails, trying to keep your temper in check as your boyfriend's rant continued on the other end of the line. his shouting about god knows what was getting on your nerves, especially since you were at paige's place, getting ready for a party.

paige leaned against the doorframe, her eyes full of concern as she watched you. she could hear your boyfriend's muffled yelling from across the room and raised an eyebrow in silent question.

you sighed heavily, running a hand through your hair. "look, i can't do this right now. i'm at p's right now, and we're about to head out. we'll talk later," you said, trying to end the call.

"don't hang up on me!" your boyfriend snapped, his voice loud enough that even paige could make out his words. she frowned, pushing off the doorframe and walking over to you.

"my god, this shit is exhausting!" you said, exasperation coloring your tone. "we're on break, okay? this is the exact reason why we are on the break in the first place, i'm tired of you!"

paoge reached out and took your hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. she mouthed, "hang up," and you nodded, feeling a rush of gratitude for her support.

"bye, i'll talk to you later." you said firmly, ending the call despite your boyfriend's protests. you dropped your phone onto the bed and took a deep breath, trying to calm the anger bubbling inside you.

paige stepped closer, her hands gently cupping your face. "you okay?" she asked softly, her eyes full of concern.

you nodded, though your frustration was still evident. "yeah, just... sick of his shit. he's always yelling about something."

paige's thumbs brushed lightly against your cheeks. "you don't have to put up with that, you know."

"i know," you sighed, leaning into her touch. "it's just... complicated."

paige gave you a small, understanding smile. "it doesn't have to be."

you looked at her, searching for comfort in her steady gaze. "let's just get ready for the party, needa forget about him for a while."

paige nodded, her smile widening. "sounds like a plan."

you both continued getting ready, the atmosphere lightening as paige started making jokes and playfully teasing you. she helped you pick out an outfit, her eyes lingering on you with a mix of admiration and something else you couldn't quite place.

"if he saw me wear this, i swear he'd lose his shit," you laughed as you eyed yourself through the reflection.

paige rolled her eyes. "you know this is a free country right? he's just an insecure fuck."

you laughed as you glanced at the blonde, you could see her gaze lingering on your ass for a little longer than a friend should have. you felt your cheeks heat up as you licked your lips, choosing to ignore it. paige had always admired you; she's never hid the fact she thought you were hot from you.

"you're just saying that 'cause you have better taste," you teased, adjusting the hem of your shirt.

Paige smirked, her eyes meeting yours in the mirror. "damn right i do. and you look amazing."

your blush deepened, but you tried to play it off with a laugh. "thanks, p. you always know how to make me feel good."

"that's what i'm here for," she replied with a wink.

the sound of your phone buzzing interrupted the moment. you glanced at the screen, seeing a long text from your boyfriend. you sighed, feeling the weight of his constant questioning pressing down on you.

"let me guess," paige said, her tone laced with sarcasm. "nother 'concerned' message from mr. clingy?"

"yep," you replied, tossing your phone onto the bed. "it's like he can't let me breathe."

paige grabbed your phone, skimming through the text before scoffing. her expression was amused as she met your gaze before you both burst out in laughter. "fuck," she just swiped the message from your notification center before glancing up at you.

as you finished getting ready, you could feel the excitement building. the prospect of a night out with paige and your girls was exactly what you needed to escape the stress and tension. paige handed you a pair of heels, her eyes sparkling with mischief.

"these will complete the look," she said, helping you slip them on.

you stood up, wobbling slightly on the unfamiliar height. paige steadied you, her hands warm and reassuring on your waist. "careful there, cinderella."

you laughed, feeling a genuine happiness that had been missing for a while. "thanks, prince charming."

she chuckled, her eyes twinkling with amusement. "anytime, princess."

with one last look in the mirror, you grabbed your purse and headed out the door, paige by your side. the drive to the party was filled with laughter and easy conversation, a stark contrast to the earlier argument with your boyfriend. by the time you arrived, you felt lighter, more carefree.

the party was in full swing when you walked in. music pulsed through the air, and people filled every corner of the house. paige stayed close to you, her presence a comforting anchor in the chaos. you spotted your girls in the crowd and waved, making your way over to them.

"finally!" aaliyah exclaimed, pulling you into a hug. "we thought you were never gonna get here."

"sorry," you said with a laugh, returning the hug. "had some... complications."

nika raised an eyebrow, glancing at paige. "complications, huh? everything okay?"

"yeah," paige answered for you, her hand resting lightly on your back. "just some boyfriend drama. but we're here to have fun, right?"

"right!" aubrey agreed, handing you a drink. "let's forget about the drama and enjoy the night."

as the night went on, you found yourself relaxing more and more. paige stayed by your side, her playful banter and easy confidence helping you forget about your earlier argument. at one point, you caught her looking at you with a soft smile, and you felt a warmth spread through your chest.

"thanks for being here," you said quietly, leaning in so she could hear you over the music.

"always," paige replied, her eyes sparkling with sincerity.

you felt a rush of gratitude and something deeper, something that made your heartbeat a little faster. for the first time in a while, you felt truly happy, surrounded by friends and free from the weight of your boyfriend's constant demands.

as the party continued, someone suggested doing body shots. the idea was met with enthusiastic cheers, and before you knew it, you were being pulled towards the center of the room. paige's eyes lit up with excitement as she nudged you playfully.

"come on, it'll be fun!" she said, her grin infectious.

you laughed, feeling a mix of nervousness and thrill. "okay, okay! who's going first?"

aubrey handed you a shot glass filled with tequila and a slice of lime. "why don't you start, and paige can go next?"

you glanced at paige, who winked at you. "let's do it."

you lay down on the makeshift bar setup, feeling the cool surface against your back. the room erupted in cheers and whistles as Paige leaned over you, her eyes locked onto yours. she sprinkled salt on your stomach, her touch sending shivers down your spine.

"ready?" she asked, her voice low and teasing.

"yeah," you replied quietly, your heart racing.

paige licked the salt off your skin, her tongue warm and soft against your flesh. she quickly took the shot, her eyes never leaving yours, and then bit into the lime that had been in your mouth.

"your turn, princess," paige said, her voice a little breathless as she helped you up.

you switched places, your hands trembling slightly as you poured the tequila and placed the lime slice in her mouth. paige lay back, her eyes watching you intently. you sprinkled the salt on her stomach, your fingers brushing against her skin, and felt the tension between you intensify.

"go for it," paige encouraged, her eyes dark with anticipation.

you leaned down, licking the salt from her skin, the taste mingling with the warmth of her body. you took the shot quickly, the burn of the alcohol mixing with the rush of adrenaline. as you bit into the lime, you looked into paige's eyes and saw the same heat and desire mirrored there.

the room around you seemed to fade away as you finished the shot, your focus entirely on paige. she sat up slowly, her face inches from yours, and you could feel her breath on your lips.

"that was hot," paige breathed out with a chuckle.

you licked your lips as her eyes kept glancing to your lips, a smirk evident on hers. the moment was charged with unspoken tension, the air thick with possibilities. for a second, you thought paige might lean in and kiss you, but the spell was broken by the sound of laughter and cheers from your friends.

"who's next?" aubrey called out, oblivious to the moment you and paige had just shared.

you stepped back, your heart still pounding, and forced a smile. "yeah, yeah."

paige's hands found your hips as she led you away from the crowd, her touch lingering a moment longer than necessary. she followed you, your mind racing and your body still tingling from the shared intimacy of the body shots. the party's noise and energy seemed to blur into the background as you both made your way to a quieter corner of the room.

"that was fun," paige said, her voice low as she glanced back at you.

you nodded, your breath catching in your throat. "yeah, it was."

paige's eyes softened, and she gave you a small, reassuring smile. "you okay?"

"yeah," you replied, your voice steadier than you felt. "haven't done body shots in a while," you forced out a chuckle as paige kept her eyes glued on you.

paige chuckled, her thumb brushing against your side. "yeah well maybe we needa do more, huh?"

you laughed as you nodded, paige joining in a few moments after. the two of you stood there for a moment, the party continuing around you but feeling distant and detached.

the party continued and you found yourself drinking a little more than you should have. the buzz of alcohol dulled the edges of your anxiety, making everything feel softer and more manageable. paige stayed close by, her presence a steady anchor amidst the chaos of the party.

you felt lighter, freer, and more attuned to the warmth of the people around you. you stole glances at Paige, noticing the way her eyes sparkled when she laughed and how her smile seemed to light up the room.

someone suggested playing another round of truth or dare, and the group eagerly agreed. you and Paige found yourselves back in the circle, this time sitting even closer, your legs brushing against each other. the game began again, and the dares grew bolder and the truths more revealing – you didn't expect anything less of college aged people.

when it was your turn, you hesitated for a moment before choosing "dare." you were feeling bold, the alcohol giving you a boost of confidence.

"i dare you to go into the closet with p for seven minutes in heaven," they declared, their eyes dancing with excitement.

the room erupted in cheers and laughter, and you felt your cheeks flush with a mix of embarrassment and anticipation. you glanced at paige, who raised an eyebrow, a playful smile tugging at her lips.

"well, shall we?" paige asked, extending a hand to help you up.

you nodded, your heart pounding in your chest as you took her hand. the group continued to cheer and tease as you and paige made your way to the closet. once inside, paige closed the door behind you, and the noise from the party was muffled, leaving you in a small, dimly lit space with her.

the air between you was charged with tension, and you could feel your pulse quicken. paige leaned against the door, her eyes locked onto yours.

"guess we have seven minutes," she said softly, her voice barely above a whisper.

you swallowed hard, your mind racing. "yeah, seven minutes."

paige took a step closer, her gaze intense. "what do you want to do with those seven minutes?"

you laughed, shaking your head. "you're such a horny fuck, paige."

"me? never," she laughed but her eyes didn't leave your face. "you're just really hot, i mean... look at what you're wearin' princess, i can't help it."

it seemed the alcohol had also given paige a boost of confidence, making her bolder than usual. she took another step closer, her body inches from yours, the heat between you palpable.

"really gonna blame it on what i'm wearing?" you teased. "pretty sure you've been looking at me like this all night."

paige's smile turned mischievous. "maybe i have. what are you gonna do about it?"

your breath hitched at her words, the challenge in her eyes making your pulse race even faster. you felt a surge of bravery, fueled by the tension and the alcohol in your system. stepping closer, you reached up and brushed a strand of hair away from her face, your fingers lingering on her cheek.

"i think i'll do this," you murmured, leaning in and closing the gap between you.

your lips met in a slow, deliberate kiss, the world outside the closet fading away. paige responded eagerly, her hands sliding around your waist, pulling you closer. the kiss deepened, and you felt a rush of heat spread through your body, the intensity of the moment consuming you both.

paige's hands roamed over your back, her touch sending shivers down your spine. you lost yourself in the sensation, your fingers tangling in her hair as you pressed your body against hers. the kiss became more urgent, a release of all the unspoken feelings that had been building between you for what felt like forever.

breaking the kiss for a moment, paige's forehead rested against yours, her breath warm on your lips. "you have no idea how long i've wanted to do that," she whispered, her voice husky with desire.

"wonder how your little boyfriend would feel about this, huh, princess?" she teased as you rolled your eyes.

"shut up," you murmured, a playful smile tugging at your lips.

you captured her lips again, silencing her teasing with another passionate kiss. paige's hands tightened on your waist, pulling you closer as the kiss deepened, your bodies pressed together in the small closet.

the intensity between you was electric, each touch, each kiss fueling the fire that had been smoldering for so long. you could feel paige's heart beating against yours, the rhythm matching the wild pace of your own. her hands slid down to your hips, her fingers gripping you firmly, grounding you in the moment.

she pushed you against the table that was set behind you, a groan leaving her lips as she did so. the edge of the table pressed into your back, but the discomfort was overshadowed by the intensity of paige's kiss. her hands gripped your hips, holding you in place as she deepened the kiss, her tongue exploring your mouth with a desperate need.

you wrapped your arms around her neck, pulling her closer, the heat between you building with each passing second. paige's hands roamed over your body, her touch both gentle and demanding. she trailed kisses down your neck, sucking gently on the sensitive skin, leaving a trail of fire in her wake.

"paige," you breathed out, your voice barely above a whisper, your fingers tangling in her hair.

she lifted her head, her eyes dark with desire as she looked at you. "wanted this for so long," she confessed, her voice husky and filled with longing.

"me too," you admitted, your heart racing. "i've tried to ignore it, but i can't anymore."

paige's lips curved into a small smile, her hands sliding under your shirt, her fingers brushing against your bare skin. "then don't," she murmured, her lips finding yours again in a searing kiss.

as the kiss intensified, paige's hands moved to the hem of your shirt, lifting it over your head and tossing it aside. her eyes roamed over your exposed skin, her gaze filled with admiration and desire. she leaned in, pressing kisses along your collarbone, her hands exploring every inch of you.

you arched into her touch, your breath hitching as she trailed her fingers down your sides, leaving a path of tingling sensations. paige's lips found your ear, her breath warm against your skin as she whispered, "you drive me crazy, you know that?"

you laughed softly, your hands sliding down her back. "good," you replied, your voice laced with a mix of teasing and sincerity.

paige's hands moved to your waist, her fingers slipping under the waistband of your pants. "can i?" she asked, her voice filled with a mixture of hope and hesitation.

you nodded, your heart pounding with anticipation. "yes."

with a swift motion, paige unbuttoned your shorts, sliding them down your legs. her hands caressed your thighs, her touch sending waves of pleasure through your body. she looked up at you, her eyes filled with an intense longing that mirrored your own.

"need you," she whispered, her voice barely audible.

you cupped her face in your hands, pulling her in for another kiss. "'m yours," you replied, the words spilling from your lips without hesitation.

paige's eyes darkened with desire, her hands moving to your underwear, sliding them down with a slow, deliberate motion. she kissed her way down your body, her lips leaving a trail of fire as they moved lower and lower. the sensation was overwhelming, your body trembling with anticipation.

she quickly straightened up, lifting you up into the table easily. her hands found your hips, and she pulled you forward, your bodies pressed together in a feverish embrace. you could feel the heat radiating from her as her lips traveled back up your body, tracing a path of desire that left you breathless.

when her mouth found yours again, the kiss was hungry and desperate, a reflection of the emotions that had been building between you for so long.

paige's hands roamed freely, exploring the contours of your body with a reverence that made you shiver. she took her time, savoring every moment, every reaction she elicited from you. her touch was both tender and commanding, a perfect balance that left you craving more.

as her hands moved to your breasts, you gasped, arching into her touch. paige's mouth followed the path of her hands, her lips and tongue teasing your sensitive skin. the combination of her touch and the cool air of the closet sent waves of pleasure coursing through you, making it hard to think about anything other than the woman in front of you.

"paige," you breathed out, your voice trembling with need. "please."

she looked up at you, her eyes dark with desire. "tell me what you want, princess."

you bit your lip, trying to find the words. "i want you... no.. i need you to touch me."

paige's smile was both tender and wicked as she complied, her hands sliding down your body with a slow, deliberate motion. when her fingers finally found your wet pussy, you let out a soft moan, your head falling back as the pleasure overwhelmed you.

she moved with a skilled precision, her fingers teasing and exploring, driving you to the edge with every touch. the sensations were almost too much to bear, your body trembling with the intensity of it all. paige's name fell from your lips in a breathless whisper, a plea for more.

and she gave it to you, her movements becoming more insistent, her touch more demanding. the world outside the closet ceased to exist, leaving only the two of you in this moment of raw, unrestrained passion. every caress, every kiss, every whispered word pushed you closer to the brink, until you were teetering on the edge of oblivion.

"fuck," you gasped, your hands gripping her shoulders as you felt yourself reaching the peak. "'m so close."

paige leaned down, ignoring your pleas and spread your legs further. her lips found your cunt, her tongue delving into it as she began to devour you like you were her last meal. your hand found her hair, your legs wrapped around her head as you cried out.

"fuckfuckfuck, please," your makeup was running at this point but you didn't care anymore, you just needed to cum.

as soon as her tongue became flicking your clit, the coil in your stomach snapped as you let out a sob of pure pleasure. "oh my god!"

when the waves of pleasure finally began to subside, you collapsed against her, your breath coming in ragged gasps. paige sat up as her arms wrapped around you, holding you close as you both tried to catch your breath.

for a moment, there was only the sound of your breathing, the world outside the closet a distant memory. then paige pulled back slightly, her eyes searching yours with a mix of tenderness and concern.

"you okay?" she asked softly, brushing a strand of hair away from your face.

you nodded, a smile spreading across your lips. "more than okay. that was... amazing."

"aw, sweetheart. does he fuck you like that?" paige joked as you rolled your eyes. her finger swiped below your eyes, removing the mascara that was running down your face.

you playfully smacked paige's arm, trying to suppress the laughter that bubbled up. "shut up," you teased, feeling a mix of embarrassment and exhilaration from the intimacy you'd just shared.

paige chuckled, her eyes twinkling with amusement. "hey, just curious. gotta know how i compare," she said, her tone light.

you rolled your eyes again, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks. "you're impossible," you muttered, but your smile gave you away.

paige's finger gently swiped beneath your eyes, removing the smudged makeup. "there," she said softly, her touch lingering on your cheek. "all better."

the moment was tender, filled with unspoken words and shared emotions. paige's thumb brushed against your skin, her eyes locking onto yours. for a second, the world outside seemed to disappear again, leaving just the two of you in a bubble of newfound intimacy.

but the bubble burst as the closet door opened suddenly, and nika stood there, her expression with urgency. "guys, sorry to interrupt," she said, glancing between the two of you, "but your boyfriend just showed up."

your heart dropped at her words, the elation from moments before evaporating instantly. "what?" you exclaimed, stepping away from paige.

nika nodded, her brows furrowed with annoyance. "yeah, he's here, and he looks pissed. he was asking about you."

paige's expression darkened, her protective instincts kicking in. "great," she muttered, running a hand through her hair. "just what we needed."

you took a deep breath, trying to steady your racing heart. "guess o have to go talk to him," you said reluctantly, the weight of reality crashing back down on you.

paige stepped closer, her hand finding yours and giving it a reassuring squeeze. "you want me to come with you?" she asked, her eyes filled with concern.

you hesitated for a moment, then shook your head. "no, it's fine. i need to handle this on my own." You squeezed her hand back, grateful for her support. "but thank you."

you took a deep breath, steeling yourself for the confrontation ahead. with a final look at Paige, you stepped out of the closet, nika leading the way to where your boyfriend was waiting.

he was standing in the living room, his face a storm of emotions. as soon as he saw you, his eyes narrowed, and he strode towards you. "where the hell have you been?" he demanded, his voice laced with anger and frustration.

you squared your shoulders, trying to remain calm. "i've been at the party," you replied evenly. "what's your problem?"

"my problem?" he echoed, his voice rising. "you've been ignoring my calls and texts! and now i find out you've been hiding in a closet with paige?"

"first of all, it's a game!" you shot back, using the same tone he was. "ever heard of seven minutes in heaven?"

"that sure as hell was more than seven minutes, babe." his eyes flashed with anger and hurt, but he took a deep breath, seemingly trying to calm himself. "but you didn't answer my calls or texts. what's going on with us?"

you sighed, feeling the weight of the situation pressing down on you. "i told you, we need space to figure things out. this break was supposed to help us do that."

he stared at you for a moment, then looked away, his jaw clenched. "i just... i don't want to lose you," he said, his voice softer now, tinged with desperation.

your heart ached at his words, the conflict within you growing. "don't want to lose you either," you admitted, your voice breaking slightly. "but we need to work on our issues. we can't keep having these fights all the time."

he nodded slowly, his expression softening. "okay, i get that. but seeing you with paige... it just messed with my head."

"nothing's happening with Paige," you lied, trying to reassure him and keep the peace. "it was just a game. you have to trust me."

he looked at you, searching your eyes for the truth. after a moment, he nodded again, though his expression was still troubled. "alright. i trust you. but we need to talk about this. really talk."

you nodded, feeling a mixture of relief and guilt. "we will. but not here, not now. let's just try to enjoy the rest of the night, okay?"

He took a deep breath and then reached out to take your hand. "okay. but promise me we'll talk soon."

"promise," you said, squeezing his hand. "we'll figure this out."

with that, the tension between you seemed to ease slightly. you both turned and headed back into the house, the noise and energy of the party a stark contrast to the heavy conversation you had just had. as you reentered the party, you spotted paige watching you from across the room, her eyes filled with concern.

you gave her a small, reassuring nod, and she responded with a tentative smile. you knew this wasn't over, and there would be more conversations, more decisions to make. but for now, you were trying to hold on to the fragile peace you had managed to create.

throughout the rest of the night, your boyfriend stayed close by your side, his presence a constant reminder of the complexity of your feelings. paige didn't really give a fuck, she was still by your side, her hand always seemed to be on your shoulder or arm (she knew she'd get her ass beat if she touched your back or hips, where her hands usually would be).

when the time came to leave, your boyfriend offered to drive you home. as you said your goodbyes to your friends, paige pulled you aside for a moment.

"you okay?" she asked softly, her eyes filled with concern.

you nodded, though your heart felt heavy. you glanced behind you, looking at your boyfriend whose gaze was stuck on you and paige. "yeah, i'm okay. thanks for everything tonight."

paige gave you a small smile. "anytime, princess. just... take care of yourself, alright?"

"i will," you promised, giving her a hug. "we'll talk later."

paige's arms embraced you tightly, as she gave you a kiss on your head. she looked up to meet your boyfriend's eyes, giving him a smirk before she licked her lips, her eyes finding yours again.

"i love you," she muttered.

"i love you too, p." you managed a smile as you both leaned away.

paige looked up to see your now, seething boyfriend. she gave him a smile as she waved all in the mask of politeness. god, how she loved pushing his buttons.

your boyfriend's eyes narrowed, his jaw clenching as he returned paige's wave with a curt nod. you could see the storm brewing behind his eyes, and you knew that once you were alone, there would be a lot to talk about.

"let's go," your boyfriend said tersely, his voice barely masking his anger.

"yeah," you replied, glancing one last time at paige. she gave you a reassuring nod, her eyes softening with concern.

if you enjoyed, any interaction is greatly appreciated!

with love, rylin 𝜗𝜚

[holyhadesimweird]

photo from @yancant

captain curly x reader

summary : the one in which you're the co-pilot instead of jimmy, who is just a janitor who doesn't go crazy and is actually just an okay dude who's friends with curly. oh and curly has a big fat crush on you and anya and daisuke try to make you guys get together. little do they know, you're already secretly married.

notes : female reader btw

anya and daisuke both know something is up between you and the captain. they're not blind, but they do think you two are. they can see the lingering gazes, the way you two giggle to each other quietly when talking over dinner, the little things that make it obvious to them.

anya decides to try and take matters into her own hands by making you confess to her how you feel, in hopes that she could talk you into confessing to curly.

one day when you two are working together on preparing for the crew's monthly checkups, anya decides to ask you about your feelings for the captain.

"(y/n), i have a question for you." anya said, looking up to make eye contact with you.

"for sure, what's wrong?" you ask, stopping what you're doing to give her your full attention.

"what do you think of the captain?" she asks, looking at you to gauge your reaction. she sees you smile, look towards your hands and back up to her.

"well, if i'm being honest with you-" you were cut off by the man himself entering the medical room.

"(y/n) can you help me?" curly asks. "it's not urgent, but it does need to be done sooner rather than later and i'd prefer if you helped me."

"of course captain. i'll meet you at the cockpit, i'll just finish this up really quickly." you say with a smile.

"perfect, thank you." curly says with a smile, his eyes lingering on you before exiting.

"what do you think he needs help with?" anya asks, not forgetting how the captain looked at you when he entered the room.

"he swears he doesn't need them and his eyesight is fine, but i think the dumb oaf needs reading glasses. he probably needs my help reading the gauges again, or he's trying to mess with me again somehow." you laugh as you exit the room.

anya knows the captain doesn't need glasses and isn't quite sure what's going on between you two, but she quickly heads to the utility room to talk to the rest of the crew about what just happened.

after anya told daisuke and swansea about what happened between you and curly in the medical room the other day, both him and anya have been trying to figure out what's happening. swansea being the old man that he is, said he doesn't want to be involved because he already knows what's happening and was going to leave it to the other two to figure out what was happening between you two.

daisuke decided he was going to talk to the captain, to see if he will admit his feelings. he's a guy, guys can talk about their feelings... right?

a couple of days after he and anya talked, daisuke found himself spending time with the crew while they all laughed and joked. turns out curly's friend and the janitor of the ship, jimmy, snuck a bunch of alcohol onto the ship and was saving it for when the crew needed a boost.

the crew all sat on the couches next to the giant screen that currently displayed the moon. you and curly sat next to each other, almost cuddling. your legs were thrown over his and he was playing with your hands as everyone laughed and talked.

"i'll go get us more drinks, but after these we should cut back and head to bed." curly announced, gently moving you so he could stand up.

this was the perfect moment to ask curly about his feelings, daisuke thought. once the others were distracted by talking to each other, daisuke got up to follow the captain and ask.

"captain! can i talk to you for a second?" daisuke yelled at the captain, who was all the way down the hall.

"of course bud, what can i help you with?" curly said when daisuke caught up to him.

"how do you feel about (y/n)? you know beyond them being your co-pilot." daisuke asked.

"i like her. i've known her for a long time now and she's great. why? is there something wrong with her?"

"no no! i'm just curious since you guys seem really close."

"yeah you could say that." curly smiled.

"do you have a crush on her or something? you two are always giggling and flirting."

"yeah, i guess you could say that i have a crush on her. she's brilliant and the best person i know."

"shoot your shot man, she definitely likes you back."

"thanks daisuke, i will. now lets get back to everyone with this booze, yeah?"

a week later, at dinner while everyone sat together, anya couldn't stop trying to figure out how to push you and curly to confess your feelings for each other. this week was a little stressful and thinking about it helped her get her mind off of things.

"anya?" she heard you ask.

"are you and the captain secretly dating?" she blurted.

everyone went still and looked at her.

"oh my god, i am so sorr-" she was cut off by swansea and jimmy who burst out laughing.

"why are you guys laughing?" daisuke asked, just as confused as anya was.

"you guys don't know?" jimmy asked.

"the captain and i are married." you revealed. "i thought you guys knew."

"i asked the captain how he felt about you and he didn't say you were married!!" daisuke exclaimed. "he just said he has a crush on you!"

"curly you have a crush on me?!" you laughed.

"sorry guys, we thought you knew, i guess it never came up." curly chuckled.

"not to be nosey, but you don't have rings?" anya asked.

"pony express doesn't like it if employees are involved with each other so we're hiding the fact that we're married." curly said.

"oh my god i can't believe we didn't know and were trying to get you two to confess your feelings!" daisuke pouted.

"well i appreciate you trying to be my wingman dai, i would've definitely shot my shot if we weren't already married." curly thanked.

jimmy snickered at curly, who only gave him a look.

"well now you have to show the wedding photos! there's no way you don't have some here on the ship." daisuke demanded.

"okay okay, i'll go get them. are they in my room or yours?" curly asked you while standing up.

"they're in yours." you replied, smiling up at him.

"wait you guys don't slee-" daisuke was cut off by jimmy.

"i think that one is none of our business daisuke. do you really wanna know which room your captain is piping his-"

"okay! okay! i'll stop asking questions!" daisuke jokingly covered his ears.

the tulpar's 'living room' exploded with laughter and not too long after, captain curly came back with the wedding album.

[sowhat-whynot]

Boyfriend tag!

request: “maybe do our own version of doing his makeup like mandy did w martin?”

a/n: this request had a few ideas in one btw also this is my first lil story on here so go easy on me, queens.

bf!hamzah x fem reader

──★ ˙ ̟🐇 ꩜ .ᐟ

Being a youtuber was fun cuz you got to come up with your own ideas and no one could stop you so naturally, you wanted to piss Hamzah off a bit. You had asked him to come film a ‘boyfriend tag’ video with you but there was something he didn’t know…that you’d also be doing his makeup while answering questions.

filming…

“Hi loves! Welcome back to my channel today I have someone special with me, my boyfriend” you say excitedly.

“Hi everyone! I’m so pumped to be on here” Hamzah says, pumping his fist a little.

“Why dont you tell em what we’re doing today” you say with a smirk.

“She’s gonna give me that hawk tuah on cam!!” Hamzah giggles.

“Hamzah what the hell is wrong with you” you look at him in disgust.

“I’m sorry…so, we’re doing a boyfriend tag and this is basically for y/n’s viewers to kinda get to know me since I might pop into frame from time to time and then you guys are gonna comment ‘who is that fine sexy man in the background’ and you’ll know it’s me!” Hamzah explains.

“You explained that perfectly but I have a surprise for you” Hamzah look a bit confused.

“I’m gonna make you look beautiful and do your makeup, like I’ve always wanted to!!!”

“Are you serious” He stares at the camera.

“Yes, because one day Hamzah was watching me do my makeup and asked ‘how do ya know how to do that’ and today’s your lucky day, babe. You’re gonna find out” you explain.

“You know what whatever” Hamzah gave in.

-

You face towards your boyfriend to apply foundation with a brush while asking a few questions you came up with.

“Hamzah tell the viewers you name and birthday”

“Is this a joke?” He laughed, not believing that this was the whole point of the video.

“Just answer bruh. The viewers wanna know!” You say as you blend the foundation into his skin.

“Hi i’m Hamzah and i was born on March 5th, 2002”

“Ok, next question is ‘describe your high school self in 5 words’”

“Hot, cool, goofy, got bitches” He proudly answered.

“You know what..hell yeah! Except for the last one i know you got no girls and they probably all ran away from you boi”

“Next question, y/n”

You continued on with the question and you were the happiest girl alive giving your boyfriend the makeover of his life. You smiled while applying some of your pretty pink blush on his cheeks. You two got so distracted from goofing around it made it hard to take the youtube video seriously.

“No way it takes this long to apply all of this. You girls do this everyday??” He asked, appreciating your hard work.

“Yeah but honestly it’s not about how long it takes, it’s about how gorgeous you’re gonna look at the end. Like a pretty princess”

“Oh my god” Hamzah turns his head away from you.

“Look at me Hamzah i still have more questions” your hand reaches to his chin making him look at you.

“Next question is ‘do you remember our first date’” you ask while applying press powder on his face.

“Of course I do! It was a fun picnic date and I gave you a kitty plushy as a gift and we ate yummy food and I couldn’t take my eyes off you, i still can’t, you’re just so beautiful. Even the dress you wore. It’s forever engraved in my mind” His words are so genuine it makes your heart melt.

“Aww babe that’s actually so sweet i love you” you practically look at him with heart eyes.

“Okay is the makeup almost done i wanna see”

“You ruined the moment..yeah i just gonna curl your lashes and put on a lippie”

“I don’t know what you just said but please do it fast” he impatiently said.

“Hamzah don’t move your eye im gonna curl it”

“What da hell is that tool!” He yelled.

“Bro bear with me and do as i say” you gently clamped his lashes and apply mascara on him.

You added some finishing touches: eye glitter, eyeliner, and a glossy lip. You turn to the camera and giggle a bit.

“Is it bad? Can i see y/n! Stop laughing” Hamzah said.

“Guys i think i did a beautiful job. Look at it!!! The eyes are so cute” You grabbed the camera and did a close up shot.

You prop the camera back on the tripod and grabbed a mirror to reveal the final look to him.

“Okkk now look” You handed the mirror to Hamzah.

“Holy shit y/n…i look different” he gasps as he touches the eye makeup.

“You’re giving Hamzah Charles” you laughed.

“Honestly guys she did a good job and i think i’m into boys now” he said to the camera.

“Okay i’m ending this video” you quickly say.

You did your usual outro and Hamzah just smiled while you did so. You turned your camera off and giggled at Hamzah. He gave a confused laugh, not really sure what was so funny.

“Now we’re gonna do a photo shoot” you jump in excitement.

“Are you serious!”

──★ ˙ ̟🐇 ꩜ .ᐟ

Hope yall enjoyed hehehiehehe & keep requesting ideas 💕

[zorobff]

little by little. (opla!sanji x fem!reader)

synopsis: a series of events that transpire throughout your time mentoring sanji into a proper waiter, per zeff’s request.

word count: 5.3k

warnings: cursing, smoking, some direct dialogue from opla, zoro wants u but he can’t have uuu, a pitiful attempt at enemies to lovers, this is the plate technique i was referencing btw

the slicing, stirring, and sizzling of the kitchen fades into background noise compared to the two thick accents bickering back and forth. to no one’s surprise, a disagreement between sanji and zeff’s has escalated into another one of their infamous arguments. it was such a common occurrence that almost everyone working at the baratie knew to brace themselves for a yelling match at least once day.

you’re no different as you return to the kitchen from waiting tables and walk right past the pair without so much as a glance their way. instead, you make a beeline for patty’s cooking station. unamused, you ask, “they’re back at it again?”

patty slings a towel over his shoulder as he hands you table 7’s orders. “i told sanji not to put that original dish of his on the menu. he called it a true bluefin whatever the hell.”

“sounds promising,” you joke, collecting the plates from him.

“tell that to zeff,” he replies flatly. “he might even make it tomorrow’s special.”

“dammit zeff!” sanji exclaims, interrupting you and patty’s conversation. “if i gotta sling one more prime rib medium-well, i’m going to drop dead of boredom, you old shitbag!”

“it’s what we serve,” retaliates the older chef.

“it’s an insult to the meat!”

“oh, you don’t like cooking our menu? fine. ‘cause i’ll be more than delighted to give you some other work elsewhere. in fact, you are off the line. you’re going to get out there and wait tables!”

sanji’s jaw clenches at having been demoted but he removes his chef apron regardless. as often as the two of them bickered, he could never refuse such direct orders from zeff. he was the owner and founder of baratie — that was something to be respected.

all of a sudden, zeff calls your name, causing you to abruptly set down the dishes in your hands. what did you have to do with any of this? the older chef beckons you closer with a curled finger and it seems as if every pair of eyes in the kitchen shifts to you. except for sanji’s, who is too busy staring up at the ceiling as if he’s begging a higher power for self-restraint.

it’s ironic how after putting so much effort into being the best waitress possible, you end up in the middle of confrontation – something you went out of your way to avoid. still, your body reacts faster than your brain and you comply, scurrying over to where zeff and sanji stand.

“from here on out, you keep a close eye on him for me.” zeff clasps a large hand on sanji’s shoulder with such force that it sends the younger jolting forward. “i don’t wanna catch him slithering his way back into the kitchen unless it’s to grab orders, ya got it?”

you blink. “yes, chef.”

your response earns you a tight-lipped smile, a rarely seen gesture from zeff. as suddenly as it appeared, it’s gone, replaced by a hardened gaze as he turns back to sanji. “if we’re lucky enough, some of your obedience might rub off on this little eggplant.”

the comment earns him an eye roll from the waiter in question, who seems less than thrilled with this new arrangement. “this is such bullshit, old man. you really think she can teach me anything?”

you go to defend yourself, slightly offended by his offhand comment. “hey, i—”

before you can get another word out, sanji interjects, offering you a glance. “no offense, i’m sure you’re lovely—” the moment he takes a good look at you, he trails off. it’s almost comical how quickly his demeanor changes, that signature smirk of his creeping onto his lips. “with an even lovelier face to match.”

you narrow your eyes at him, not charmed by the sudden switch in attitude. “you’re shameless.”

he smiles. “so i’ve been told.”

“we’ll need to work on that.”

his grin widens, if that was even possible. “i look forward to it.”

his smile is a little too mischievous for your liking; you sigh. “can’t say the same.”

ignoring your remark, he muses, “you know, it’s a shame that working under you is supposed to be a punishment. a pretty face like yours is more of a reward, if you ask me.”

“who said anything about a punishment?”

“well, what else would you call this?” he chuckles dryly. “instead of cooking, i’m expected to wait on idiots who can’t tell a rosé prosecco from a cheval blanc. and now i’m being treated like i need a babysitter.”

you fold your arms. “that’s because you do need a babysitter. besides, zeff calls the shots so there’s no use complaining.”

“of course you’d say that.”

“what’s that supposed to mean?”

he smirks. “i can already tell you’re a professional rule follower. a lap dog, if you will.”

“if you were too, we wouldn’t even be here.” you decide to take it even further, returning his bluntness. “maybe it’d be easier if that ego of yours wasn’t so inflated.”

“damn.” he places a hand over his heart as if you’ve wounded him. “if we’re talking about flaws, though, this might be a good time to mention the stick up your ass.”

“what? i don’t–” you take a deep breath. “listen, zeff is counting on me to turn you into a functional waiter. that means we have to tolerate each other for the time being. the sooner we do that, the sooner we go our separate ways. got it?”

he flashes you his teeth. “yes, ma’am.”

“great. to start, you’re going to wait tables with me.” with that, you walk back to patty’s station.

sanji scampers behind you, smile fading. “you’re joking.”

you shrug, opting to let your silence answer for you.

he continues, “you’re not even going to let me suffer through this alone? i’ve gotta be glued to your hip as well?”

“what’s the matter? i thought i was lovely,” you tease him, feigning sorrow. your faux pout contradicts the way you harshly shove two steaming plates his way.

“not when you’re bossing me around.” he hesitantly takes the dishes you hand him. “i mean, can’t you just let me off the hook? i’ll hide in the supply closet ‘til our shift’s over.”

“good one.”

WEEK ONE.

“welcome to baratie, i’ll be your waitress this afternoon. what can i get started for you?” you ask, ready to jot down the table’s orders on your notepad. “i recommend today’s special—”

an arm digging into your ribs cuts you off. the action is forceful enough to jolt you but light enough not to hurt. you glare at the culprit, who tilts his head expectantly as if to ask, aren’t you forgetting something?

“oh, how unprofessional of me,” you deadpan. “this is sanji, he’ll be accompanying me. we’re training new hires.”

the smile on his face disappears, clearly insulted at being compared to an inexperienced beginner.

you continue, “as i was saying, today’s special is a beef filet with rice and seaweed soup. it was chosen by chef zeff himself.”

that seems to pique the customers’ interests. who didn’t want to eat a meal that had the chef zeff’s stamp of approval? they enthusiastically agree to add it to their order.

sanji scoffs. “that’s not sayin’ much. zeff wouldn’t know a good meal if it kicked him in the peg leg.”

you find yourself cringing as the patrons’ faces contort into shock at the blatant insult. well, there goes your tip.

chuckling nervously, you attempt to redirect the conversation. “can i, um, get you anything to drink?”

dismissing sanji’s outburst, they opt to look over the various wines the menu has to offer. you allow yourself to tune out their indecisive murmuring for the time being. however, sanji soon breaks the peaceful silence.

“you know what, how about i whip up a dish of my own for you two? ’s called a true bluefin sauté, somethin’ that’ll put today’s special to shame. free of charge, of course—”

“okay, that’s enough,” you intervene in between yet another forced laugh. “could you please excuse us for a moment?”

the guests’ irritated expressions fill you with shame — you were used to smiles and hefty tips but never this. you pull sanji aside, ignoring his complaints about the excessive force you use to do so.

“you need to get it together,” you seethe.

“i’m trying my best,” he replies, though there’s a smug undertone to it. “like you said, i am just a new hire.”

you suppress a sigh. “no new hire would badmouth the owner to customers like that. or offer to make dishes that aren’t—and never will be—on the menu.”

“ouch, that was personal—”

“just let patty know we need two specials. and tell him to make it top priority, we don’t want to piss these people off even more. can you do that, please?”

it was clear you were stressed by the mess he’d created, if your pleading tone was anything to go by. sanji decides to take pity on you. he wordlessly retreats to the kitchen to do what you had asked. no quips, no teasing.

for the first time, he follows your instructions.

WEEK TWO.

it seemed as if everyone in the east blue was set on having their breakfast at the baratie.

the kitchen was bustling, cooks slaving over the stove and waiters twisting past each other to grab orders. among them was you, sweaty and thoroughly overwhelmed. despite the task at hand, you can’t help but question the whereabouts of a certain blonde.

“where’s sanji?” you demand while grabbing more steaming plates.

carne, the chef who’d cooked the meals, answers you. “haven’t seen him all morning.”

you groan, using your sleeve to wipe off the beads of perspiration that form at your hairline before grabbing a bowl of oatmeal and plate of fluffy belgian waffles. you knew sanji still wasn’t happy about being a waiter (and he took every chance to show it) but that didn’t matter; it was all hands on deck this morning.

you continue expertly stacking the dishes into your arms and hands. it was a technique you’d learned over the years and now it felt like second nature. soon enough, you’re balancing plates up to your forearms. you’re just about to head back out to the dining hall when you hear a familiar accent behind you.

“we doin’ party tricks now or what?”

startled, you turn around so fast it causes the dishware in your hold to teeter ever so slightly. there stands sanji, clearly finding amusement in how you’re up to your elbows in breakfast foods.

“maybe don’t sneak up on me when i’m holding six plates?” you chastise him.

he chuckles. “sorry, sorry. what did i miss?”

“only the worst breakfast rush i’ve ever seen. where have you been?”

“i was takin’ a smoke outside.”

“productive.” your tone drips with sarcasm. “we’ll talk about punctuality later, for now just take the rest of those plates for me.”

sanji reluctantly obeys, grabbing two plates from the multitude of options and steps back, ready to follow you. you look at him in what could only be described as utter disbelief. he returns the stare and furrows his eyebrows as if he really can’t understand what he’s doing wrong.

“you’re seriously only taking two?” you ask.

“yeah? what, were you expecting me to join your balancing act?”

“it would help!”

“trust me, i’d only make a bigger mess.”

“sanji.”

“fine! show me.”

you squint your eyes at him in irritation. “my hands are a little full right now.”

he purses his lips. “then just tell me how.”

you comply. “get your first plate, put it between your thumb and the edge of your pointer finger. make sure to rotate it away from your body.”

sanji follows your directions, attentively. he glances up at you once he completes the first couple steps, scanning your face for any disapproval. you give him a nod.

“so far so good. next, put your second plate under the first. use your remaining fingers to support it– yeah, just like that. and let the edge of the plate rest on the bottom of the first.”

as sanji carefully carries out your instructions, you notice the determination written on his face. you’d never seen him put so much effort in a task, much less one you’d given him. you could tell it was challenging, judging by the way his hands wobble with uncertainty as he stacks the plates, but not once does he stop. it’s admirable. you feel a smile form on your face.

“okay, what n— what’re you laughin’ at?”

“i’m not laughing,” you defend. “it’s just– you’re really trying. it’s nice. i like this sanji.”

he opens his mouth as if to respond but decides not to at the last moment. there’s a brief silence before he raises his eyebrows to signal he was ready for the next step.

“right. um, the third plate uses your arm and the edge of the second plate as balance points so you’re gonna wanna put it– yeah, right there.”

you take in the sight of all three plates successfully resting on sanji’s arm as one of his trademark grins appears on his lips. clearly he’s proud of himself but as his wide eyes meet yours, you can’t help but feel as if he’s seeking your approval too. you notice that when he glances up at you, there’s an eager look in his eyes as if he’s hanging on to your every breath. you figure it’s normal for someone to want their mentor’s praise, right?

you willingly deliver the encouragement. “you’re a natural. better than me.”

his reply comes so quickly it almost seems as if he’s said it without thinking. “well, that’s not possible, is it?”

his tone sounds warm; sincere. not to mention, this is the first time sanji has complimented your skills as a waitress. you’d received countless praises for your work ethic but somehow, something so simple from someone like sanji makes this different. special, in a way.

“let’s get to the table, food’s gonna get cold,” you say so that you don’t spend too much time replaying his words in your mind.

the journey to said table proves to be more arduous than you’d think. you offer quiet ‘excuse me’s that can hardly be heard over the commotion of the kitchen as your coworkers try their best to make way for you and sanji. some of their eyes linger on the plates that masterfully balance on both your arms but truthfully, the sight of sanji exerting so much effort into waiting tables is more impressive to them. it’s distracting enough to send one of them to colliding straight into you.

your first instinct is to try and salvage as many dishes as possible but it’s useless when the impact is so strong that it sends you stumbling backwards. the only reason you don’t fall over is the firm chest that presses against your back and the two pairs of strong arms that find their way around your waist. the ear-splitting sound of yours and sanji’s plates shattering against the floor is unpleasant and yet all you can think about is how sanji literally dropped everything to catch you.

the waiter you’d crashed into groans, looking down at the mess of broken dishware and food gone to waste. “god, look where you’re going if you’re gonna carry all those plates.”

“i’m sorry,” you instantly apologize, flustered by the rare mistake. “i was just trying to get ahead of the rush–”

“instead, you set us back further.” his eyes flit down to his shirt and then yours. “and ruined both our uniforms.”

the abruptness of your mishap (and your skinship with sanji) had robbed all your attention, causing you to overlook the various creams and sauces that now bleed into your shirt.

“watch it,” sanji warns him, finding the man’s aggressive tone intolerable. “if you worked half as hard as she is then maybe there wouldn’t be such a need to catch up on orders.”

your coworker fixes sanji with a glare for intervening. “i’m not talking to you, pal.”

“well, i’m talking to you. and i’m thinkin’ of taking this discussion outside if you don’t apologize for being a jackass.”

that earns him an irritated sigh. however, he complies. “i’m sorry. can i get back to work now?”

sanji remains unimpressed. “don’t apologize to me. apologize to her.”

he doesn’t even try to hide his eye roll before he gives you a lackadaisical apology. “i’m sorry, alright? tell your boyfriend to back off.”

he stomps away, leaving you even more rattled up by his last comment. slowly, you turn around to sanji, unsure of what to say. you take in the stains that litter his suit, though he seems unbothered by it. his stare is heated as he watches the man leave. however, when he notices you staring, his gaze softens.

“what was his problem?” he asks you with a chuckle that sounds out of place in a moment like this.

in any other situation you’d poke fun at sanji for also having gotten worked up but you choose not to. him getting so angry on your behalf felt… strange. not unwelcome, though.

your reply is simple. “y-yeah. real asshole.”

he lifts a brow. “you okay?”

you nod a little too hard. “i’m just not used to situations like that. thanks for stepping in. and, you know, catching me.”

sanji glances away when your look of pure gratitude becomes too much for him to handle. “i couldn’t have you eat shit and be out of commission, zeff just might decide to mentor me himself. and no one wants that, right?”

you can’t help but laugh at the dismissive demeanor he was putting on when he’d literally just threatened a man for you. “right.”

he clears his throat. “let’s go get cleaned up then.”

“sorry,” you blurt. “about your suit, i mean. it’s all dirty now.”

he shakes his head. “wasn’t your fault. if anything, i should go force an apology out of that jerk.”

“well, while you do that i’m gonna clean this mess up.”

“no need.” he shoots you a sly wink. “i’ll make him do that too.”

WEEK THREE.

you find yourself clearing off an empty table on a somewhat slow thursday afternoon when the baratie’s newest guests catch your eye. they look nothing like the stuffy moneybags that frequented the establishment – far from it. in fact, you find yourself having to do a double take when you notice that one of them is wearing overalls. it’s refreshing, you think, occasionally glancing up at them as they settle in.

when you head back to the kitchen to grab menus, you bump into sanji, who’d arrived from his break.

you glance at the clock on the wall. “was that actually only ten minutes? i’m impressed.”

sanji exhales as he does every time he feels sheepish about following the rules. “don’t get used to it.”

you disregard his comment and instead hand him a couple menus. “come on, we’ve got a table.”

he frowns. “i just got back.”

“you’ll live. i think it’ll be a interesting one.”

that was an understatement.

“welcome to baratie. my name is sanji. what can i get for you?”

sanji’s customer service voice never fails to amuse you. it sounds too forced, too sharp; as if he’s just dying to spew a one-liner or two. you have to admit, though, he’d done pretty well ever since you started letting him take the lead. there was a clear improvement from when you’d first started, a little over two weeks ago.

“one of everything!” the one with the straw hat enthusiastically exclaims.

another, more feminine, voice joins the conversation. “maybe save that for after we find the one piece.”

there’s a brief pause before sanji speaks again, this time in a tone you know all too well. “didn’t see you there, madam. would you care for an aperitif to start? we have several rare micqueot vintages in stock. or perhaps you’d like a glass of umeshu? you know, something sweet for someone sweet.” he ends with a wink.

she cringes. “is there something wrong with your eye?”

you can hear sanji’s smile in his reply. “just blinded by your beauty.”

out of all of sanji’s antics, this somehow feels like the worst one yet. you’re not entirely sure why him blatantly flirting with the woman feels so unbearable but you decide to chalk it up to your professionalism. if any of your fellow waiters flirted with a customer you’d be just as upset… right?

“zeff told me he doesn’t like you terrorizing the female patrons with your flirting so why don’t you knock it off?” you tell sanji, your words carrying an unusual edge to them. “you’re one shitty pick-up line away from a restraining order.”

although you mumble the last part, both sanji and the table seem to pick up on it. your bitterness earns you a surprised tilt of the head from the blonde; it wasn’t like you to have such outbursts, especially not in front of guests.

“relax,” he says, still taken aback. “it’s called working the table. you should try it sometime ‘cause that attitude isn’t gonna get you anywhere.”

a monotonous voice cuts through the tension. “so about those drinks...”

you and sanji pause your discussion to get a look at the face behind the remark. lidded eyes that appear to be permanently hazy return your stare, through lashes so long you can’t help but admire them. the man who they belong to is comfortably splayed out on his side of the booth, calmly observing the two of you. though, it seems like you’ve caught his attention more than anything else. though his gaze seems uninterested, he still effectively studies every inch of you.

sanji seems to pick up the stranger’s staring problem too. he sharply inquires, “is there something on her face?”

the man turns to him once he’s finished sizing you up. “i’m just an observant guy.”

“observe the menu instead, hm?” suddenly, sanji’s tone sounds a lot like yours; irritated and displeased.

“no need.” the green-haired swordsman turns to you. “a beer, please.”

you hold the male’s gaze for a second before nodding. apparently, the eye contact is too prolonged for sanji’s taste because he cuts in, attempting to move things along.

“what about you, madam? anything i can get for you?” you notice he’s using that voice again.

her answer is plain. “water.”

somehow, he manages to complicate it. “still, sparkling, mineral? with ice or without? cubed or crushed?”

“regular water in a regular glass. thanks.”

he beams. “right away.”

“and what about the rest of you?” you ask to impede sanji from asking the woman any more questions.

“two beers,” the one with dark skin says. “i usually have three but–”

“and a milk!” the straw hat adds.

“got it. anything else before we go get those drinks for you?”

a raspy voice speaks up. “do waiters usually come in pairs here?”

you shake your head. “this is a temporary arrangement. he just needed some extra training.”

“that depends on who you ask,” sanji clarifies before narrowing his eyes at the man on the left of the booth. “why do you care anyway, mosshead?”

before you can scold sanji for giving customers rude nicknames, the customer in question swiftly corrects him. “the name’s zoro. i was just curious as to why such a good waiter would be partnered with someone so… incompetent.”

“curious?” scoffs the woman to his left. “since when are you ever curious? about anything other than alcohol, that is.”

“certain things catch my attention once in a while, nami,” he replies, nonchalantly. though he mentions his colleague by name, it’s clear he’s really speaking to you. “it’s just not often that my standards can be met. but when they are, i’m left with no choice but to show a little interest.”

your head tilts at the double meaning his comment carried. though you admire zoro’s ability to be a smooth-talker, you find that that’s where his appeal ends for you.

“high standards, hm? then you’re dining at the wrong place,” spits sanji in an attempt to get zoro’s attention off of you. “only thing that isn’t shitty is the drinks which we’ll be getting for you now, if you’ll excuse us.”

sanji hooks an arm around your shoulder before he spins on his heel and leads you both back to the kitchen. you look over your shoulder, offering the table one of your customer service smiles as an apology for your abrupt exit. sanji’s strides are long and purposeful; he’s angry, you realize. although, you can’t blame him for having such a sour attitude when you yourself aren’t too thrilled either.

you don’t speak to each other for the rest of the shift.

“you smiled at him.”

you sigh, setting your book face down to glare at sanji who stands in the doorway of the quaint breakroom. “i’m on my break, sanji.”

“so am i,” he retaliates, pulling a stick out of the worn-down cigarette box in his pocket as if to prove it to you.

“so it’s not enough that i’m stuck babysitting you when we’re on the clock? you’re gonna start seeking me out in our free time too?”

he purses his lips. “pretty much.”

his stubbornness is unsurprising but you just aren’t in the mood to tolerate it today, not when he’d worked your nerves earlier with his flirtatious behavior. deep down, you know you only have yourself to blame for getting so unreasonably angered by that. maybe that’s what upsets you most.

you sigh. “just tell me what you want.”

“i want to know why you smiled at that asshole.”

“asshole?” you repeat, laughing. “i know you have a potty mouth but god, take it easy.”

he licks his lips. “see, now you’re defending him. what for? do you know him or something?”

“do i have to?”

“no, but... it would be nice if you did. it would help me understand why he was talkin’ to you like that. all flirty but secretive at the same time. it was like you two had some sort of inside joke.”

“so a man being interested in me is so unfathomable to you that i have to know him or else it’s a joke?” you ask, tone heated.

“no, that’s not–” he groans. “i didn’t mean it like that.”

“what about you and that girl? nami, was it?” you sneer. “if zoro’s considered flirty then i don’t think there’s a word for what you are.”

“you’re mad at me for trying to earn a tip?” he asks, squinting his eyes at you. “you told me to be nicer to customers. i was being nice.”

“you were really selling it,” you scoff.

“don’t believe me?” sanji challenges you. “have you ever seen me flirt with a girl that’s not a customer? a girl that’s not you?”

the words tumble out of his mouth haphazardly, as if they’d been weighing heavy on his mind for a while now. as an attempt to recover — an attempt to make it seem like that admission didn’t mean something, he calmly lights the end of his cigarette. he then brings it to his chapped lips and takes a long drag.

you take the moment to really think about what he’d said. sanji was charming by nature and, of course, he knew that. not only that, but he used it to his advantage. people tended to tip better when he was laying it on thick, that much was true.

however, his second question takes a lot more thought. now that you really think about it, you realize he’s right. you’d never seen sanji flirt with another waiter or member of the staff. you were the only waitress he spoke to that way. the realization makes you feel warm in the face.

“i don’t just flirt with you, you know. i do so much more. remember that plate trick you taught me? i practiced for nights on end ‘til i could do it with my eyes closed. and i don’t tell customers how brainless they sound half the time because i know you don’t like it.”

you only watch as he paces back and forth, rattling off these thoughts that have clearly been plaguing him.

“you still never flirt back, though,” he continues, quietly. “lately i’ve been starting to think that you don’t actually like me at all. that’s the only reason i was being like that at the table. i knew i was only kiddin’ myself but still, i wanted to see if there was a small chance you cared.”

“i…” it’s all you can say. seeing this raw, insecure side of him has left you truly speechless.

he fiddles his cig between his fingers. “listen, i wouldn’t blame you if—”

you finally find your voice. “i like you.”

his voice trails off, engrossed in every word you speak. it’s a simple three words and yet he’s attentive as he waits for more to be said.

you begin to ramble, “i like your passion for the things you care about. i like how you always say what you think. i like that you always have my back. sanji, i… really do like you.”

he gives you a weak smile. “that’s nice, sweetheart, but i don’t think you like me the way i like you.”

“just because i don’t flirt much doesn’t mean i can’t have feelings for you, idiot.”

his adam’s apple bobs as he swallows thickly, processing your words. “you— feelings?” there’s a pause. “good ones, right?”

you can’t help but giggle. “yes, good ones. sure as hell not the ones from three weeks ago.”

he joins you with a laugh of his own, which sounds wobblier than usual. he pulls out a chair next to you, as if this moment has left him so shaken up that he needs to sit down. “who would’ve thought? god, i… i can’t believe it.”

“i’ve never heard you stutter so much,” you tell him, tucking a thin strand of blonde hair behind his ear. when your fingers graze against the skin, it’s warm to the touch. cute, you think.

“i just never expected you to give me a chance.”

“a chance? to do what, exactly?” you prod.

he straightens up. “to make you mine.”

your breath hitches in your throat. “sanji—”

“i’m not going to ask anything of you just yet. i think we should take our time. i want to show you that i can be exclusively devoted to you before we go any further. it’s only fair.”

your heart thumps wildly in your chest at the sincerity behind his words. “you’re willing to wait just to prove yourself to me?”

he nods, taking one of your hands and squeezing it. his dedication required no words.

“so that means no more flirting with the female patrons? even when i’m not there beside you?”

he shrugs as if it’s common sense. “if there’s no pretty waitress i want to make jealous then i don’t see a need to flirt.”

you nudge his shoulder. “and what about your tips?”

“small price to pay.”

satisfied with his answers, you lean in and give him a quick kiss on the cheek; it feels giddy and spontaneous. sanji’s palm instinctively comes up to rest on the spot where your lips had been. he grins before attempting to speak—

a thick, husky accent shakes the walls. what makes it more terrifying is that it’s calling both yours and sanji’s names.

“break time’s over! get your asses back out there and wait some tables, now!”