#this is a bad idea but it wasn't mine
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ok no wait I'm so sorry I'm gonna be a party pooper, but this??? Kinda pissed me off??
Now don't get me wrong, I'm a firm bi!Jamie truther. 100% no doubt about it.
BUT
Jamie is not canonically bi. There was absolutely no indication of him being any flavor of queer on the show. But you know who is?? You know who ACTUALLY deserved a shoutout from Apple TV as the ~Ted Lasso Bisexual~
FUCKING KEELEY!
Like the *wink wink nudge nudge* about Jamie is cute in a Queer-baity way, but why the hell are they not making some noise for the actual bisexual on bisexual visibility day???
Give Keeley her flowers!! Now!!!
Maybe I'm being unreasonable, but I just feel like this is annoying at best, and erasure at worst.
#mine#ted lasso#keeley jones#jamie tartt#like I don't mean to be annoying but what are we doing here#and I cannot overemphasize this-I love the idea of bi!Jamie#but that's not what the show gave us#so this is quite literally textbook queerbaiting#they're teasing queerness that wasn't there to drive engagement#that's what queerbaiting is!#it just feels bad#ESPECIALLY when the show had an actual bisexual they could've celebrated#justice for Keeley!#she does not have a whole ass ex-girlfriend just for JAMIE to get the bivisibility day post#I'm outraged on her behalf#anyway sorry I know this is two days later#I've been stewing#I finally reached a boiling point
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One of the ways in which people have tried to make sense of the world's suffering in every generation has been by assuming that we deserve what we get, that somehow our misfortunes come as punishment for our sins...
...
The idea that God gives people what they deserve, that our misdeeds cause our misfortune, is a neat and attractive solution to the problem of evil at several levels, but it has a number of serious limitations. As we have seen, it teaches people to blame themselves. It creates guilt even where there is no basis for guilt. It makes them hate God, even as it makes them hate themselves. And most disturbingly enough, it does not even fit the facts.
-Harold S. Kushner, When Bad Things Happen to Good People, p. 12 & 14, 1981.
#jumblr#quotes#grief#emphasis mine#this really struck me because these passages are preceeded and followed by a tragic death#and these thoughts are so important to me because it is so true - and something i wasn't really ever exposed to#the answer i recieved for this question (why do bad things happen to good people?) was the idea of having free will but that's it
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I'm looking to find the whole video, but there's already so much to say
#first! menancing fat Blixa with fuckass bob 2006-2010 ver save me!!!#second! so you had a normal camera the whole time!#here on the backstage he looks better than in the MV!#and there he looks like he knows when you will die and how will you die#it wasn't supposed to be like that. i know#but i think since the very idea to call the song like that it went worse and worse#i can't say the final was bad. but it became very specific kind of good#the CA bringed too many questionable aspects. and as a result - artist said not what he wanted to say at first#einstürzende neubauten#blixa bargeld#screencaps#<- are not mine
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tumblr keeps eating my post about chui, but just know that I got chui's ending and I am going crazy over the lore and the implications of it all
there is an alternate universe out there where neji never left amber and kisa was placed in amber instead of quartz and neji casts her as the al jeanne for I Am Death and chui-kisa-neji becomes THE terrifying trio of horror/tragedy plays.
they're stuck in a feedback loop of "I need a mirror, someone to reflect back the monster and the human in me" > "I steal from other people to grow so I'm willing to be your mirror for that cause" > "you two are fascinating and I'm gonna break you down so bad and make something new out of you" > "I love suffering for the Art™" > "I need a mirror..."
everyone is happy but mentally unwell and obsessed with theater in an insane way. somewhere deep in the mountains, a weasel is crying
also. I want to see takihime!neji SO BAD
#mine musings#liveblogging jj#i haven't checked the side materials but i know#sui ishida and shin towada has it in them to write this#please give me the neji-kisa-chui bad timeline i would loooove to see the bad timeline#also this is cementing my idea that if jack jeanne wasn't otoge neji would be the deuteragonist to kisa#and chui the foil to both of them#jack jeanne
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I was reminded of the time that tumblr tried to make "monster high but with tumblr sexymen", and one of the characters was (obviously) the daughter of the once-ler.
And the funny thing to me about that is that in the canon of the illumination lorax movie, the once-ler is heavily implied to have an estranged daughter. I don't know all the sexymen off the top of my head but I think he might've been one of the only ones referenced in that trend who actually had a daughter in his own canon.
#Stupid shit#I'm gonna provide context in the tags for those who want it but I also like the idea of just leaving it there#Okay so for anyone who wasn't in the fandom: when people say the movie gave us no one to ship the Once-ler with they were LYING#The movie gave the Once-ler no MALE characters to ship him with - thus Oncest started#However - the second most popular Once-ler ship was between him and Norma#(Who - if you haven't seen the movie in a while - is Ted's grandmother who tells him about the Once-ler and how to find and barter with him#This was mostly just a ship born from theory and logical deduction - why does Norma know so much personal info about the Once-ler?#Were they perhaps friends? Lovers? In the past? Where was she in his life and at what points? When did she leave?#And people started making theories and shipping the two - primarily as past lovers. But there was art of them reconnecting for sure.#HOWEVER - this also meant that there was a theory that Ted's mom was also related to the Once-ler#As in - hmm this daughter of a very short fat woman is oddly tall and thin... hmmm#And so the running theory wasn't just that the Once-ler and Norma were once lovers - but that the Once-ler was also Ted's grandfather#Who was entirely estranged from the family due to self-exile and possibly bad blood between him and Norma at some point during his downfall#(I actually do think that it's funny that the Once-ler's youngest design purposefully draws some comparison between him & the Truffula tree#Only for the character theorized to be his daughter to also evoke some Truffula tree imagery in her design)#ANYWAYS that was a theory for about as long as the movie was out - Normaler (the ship) was a thing for as long (if not longer) than Oncest#And was present enough that there were like actively flame wars between the two groups of shippers#Like literally I directly remember this it's so insane to me that no one ever brings this up when talking about the shipping in this fandom#BUT THEN!!!! The Lorax comes out on DVD. The fandom rejoices and everyone takes pictures of themselves buying or holding the DVD.#If you dig far enough and I haven't deleted it yet you might find mine. I was in full cosplay wig and all.#Anyways - we have the movie in HD now!! No more cam rip footage!!!#And now we can take high-quality screenshots that truly show off the detail of the backgrounds in this movie#(The fandom loved to gush about how detailed and well-designed the movie's backgrounds were - that wasn't just a throwaway transition)#Only - what's this?????#In one of the shots at the end of the movie - we very briefly get to see the inside of the Once-ler's lurkim - like the living room#AND THERE - IN THE BACKGROUND - ONLY VISIBLE IN HD#IS A PHOTOGRAPH OF A WOMAN WHO SUSPICIOUSLY HAS THE EXACT SAME SILHOUETTE AS NORMA#Normaler fans rejoice and 'Grandpa Once-ler' theory is accepted into canon (or - more accurately - 'implied canon') by most fans#So yes - for those keeping track - while the evidence wasn't as concrete as it could have been#The Once-ler is implied to have been the father of Ted's mom in the movie
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Three Times Jonathan Harker Was Woken By Vampires And One Time He Wasn't
Assuming that he fell asleep briefly during that time he collapsed on the sofa October 30th, we can have Three Times Jonathan Harker Was Woken By Vampires And One Time She Wasn't Fully A Vampire Yet.
(and then add in an epilogue-era scene with little Quincey waking his dad from a nap on the couch and also displaying some mysterious cryptid powers for one more And Also One Time He's Woken By No One Is Sure What Other Than 'Not A Vampire' And 'Our Beloved Son')
#dracula daily#replies#dracula daily spoilers#animate-mush#jonathan harker#'s adventures with sleeping on couches#actually this idea kind of compels me. if i still have ideas by the time my schedule allows me to write#maybe i will try to do a little fic for it#the other way to interpret this is ALL angst and pain and focuses on the time he wasn't woken/doesn't remember aka tonight is mine#and it's just. also could be compelling but entirely all bad. and abandons the couch throughline by replacing it with horrible castle#dracula experiences throughline instead. i probably will not take a stab at writing that one myself but i'd read it
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my freak wife
#tide of consciousness#Being insane abt Entropy in particular is really funny bc if I ever made a story out of the characters here.#Entropy literally does not exist. The impetus of nearly every character I file under ash to dust dust to me#Is that Entropy Does Not exist#I'm obsessed with her she's the definition of haunting the narrative and no one who reads this hypothetical story would#Actually know or care about her. She's literally not even a character and yet I'm insane about her#oc: entropy.#I love getting attached to characters of mine that realistically are barely even characters to begin with#She's literally a side character and then any reality in which this side character exists gets erased#And then she goes on to metaphorically and literally destroy herself for a given definition of herself.#Mechanically she 'wasn't supposed' to be much of a character and is defined solely by what she lacks after the fact#And then she freaks out about that so hard she explodes into nonexistence.#SHE'S SO FUNNY. SHE'S BARELY A THING THAT EXISTS I LOVE HER.#Check out how hard I can apply meaning to and read into typical storytelling roles in a way that is very intense#For something that's not actually that deep or complicated I just have a lot of thoughts about the implied role and the requirements of#A story and how being 'a story' affects the different characters and fillers that are involved in selling a story#And how 'characters' as a concept are more tools to push the meaning rather than individuals#which isn't inherently bad or anything that's how you tell a story#I'm just. Way too abnormal about ideas of personhood and expectations and feeling out of place or fake#Smiling and grinning
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choked up in my room rn bc i was sat in the car with my mum completely lost in thought and she out of nowhere went 'are you okay?' and i was like 'yeah? why?' bc i was totally fine i was literally just thinking and she let it go and then five entire minutes later she goes 'are you sure? have i done something?' and she sounded so genuinely anxious and i could tell she'd been thinking about it the entire 5 minutes while id been completely oblivious and i spent so many years as a child letting everything bottle up until it all burst out in a messy and ugly breakdown that took her down with me and despite that she never hated me she only ever blamed herself for not seeing the signs and she's never been able to see my signs because i keep everything to myself and it terrifies her that she might miss something and she handles things poorly when she's scared and she gets too angry but fundamentally she's trying her absolute hardest to be a good mother and it wasn't always enough and i know i have to hold her at least partially accountable but also she's my mum and im her daughter and she always just wants to know if im okay and most of the time im not and somehow that feels like ive betrayed her
#like my mum is such a loud powerful force of a woman that these little moments of vulnerability where she's just HONEST with me#and she shows me that she's worried or scared or unsure instead of just constantly putting up a strong front#always always bowl me over#like ive literally said to her time and time again that i'd find it easier to communicate with her if she wasn't so strong all the time#like of course i hate crying and being emotional in front of you when youve made it v clear my whole life that you hate doing that#when it's you that's the one being emotional like that's not fair#but also being strong all the time is literally a survival thing she had no choice but to implement bc her own life was so hard#so how can i just ask her to lower those walls for me? even if keeping them up is to both our detriment?#and like ive talked on here before how she's openly admitted to me that she finds my temper harder to handle than my sister's#even tho mine is quieter and significantly less messy. but she's also said to me that in general she finds my sister easier to deal with#bc my sister's so open and if she's angry she yells if she's sad she cries if she's happy she talks ur ear off etc etc#i just insist on handling everything myself and the worse i feel the more i deal on my own and it TERRIFIES my mum#BECAUSE it's led to mistakes in the past but also just bc i have never ever doubted that she has so much love for me in her heart#like even when our relationship was at its worst it was never ever a lack of love and she just does genuinely care and worry about me#it's just if she's scared she just gets ANGRY and her angry means her hurting my feelings and my feelings being hurt means i shut down MORE#and it's literally the worst combo but we love each other so much that we're both clawing through it anyway it makes me want to cry#and because she's always so strong i FORGET that there's just a scared vulnerable person behind those walls#that has no idea what she's doing bc her own mum never taught her anything good#and my mum blames herself so completely for every bad thing like she says things like 'i feel like ive failed' and idk how to tell her#that she IS messy and incredibly flawed and she HAS done things that have hurt me beyond comprehension#and there are bad parts of my personality that exist because of her and her alone#but ive also done terrible things to her too like not even considering the fact our responses arent compatible and that hurts her#i also did some DUMB shit when i first started tackling ye olde mental illness that had a HUGELY negative impact on everyone around me#but she is still my favourite person in the world and my best friend and i love her and i know she loves me and i just want to hold her#girls when their mum isnt an all powerful being but instead a flawed human trying their best: SKJDGHKDJSHGJKSDHGJKSH#hella goes home
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-Hey🌹
(also- read the tags please..)
#I went back? perhaps...#I wanted to make this post to clarify some things and also..#I wanted to apologize for my “bad mood” last Friday.. I already wasn't doing well some days. so...#yeah. I know it was very wrong of me to say some things and well. that's it. I'm so sorry..#I also wanted to say and apologize to the people who gave me art ideas and I didn't do it.#as I said before. I've been pretty bad. and even more full of things to do and think about..#I know I should have told you guys this earlier but unfortunately I couldn't...#so- I won't be able to make them anymore. but... I'm open to art ideas now for christmas!#without being crk characters and also without being other people's characters (like- art requests if you guys know what i mean)..#maybe yes it could be with other people's characters but- I don't want it to be an art request for example. as i said#sorry for anything again if I said or did something wrong. I swear it wasn't my intention. and if it was. I apologize more for that#so... that's it. I don't have much to say-#just wanted to clarify a few things and wanted to ask for christmas art ideas so I can get back to posting..#sorry again for everything and hope y'all have a wonderful day/night with this wonderful art of mine that i did for you guys💛#hello kitty is one of my favorite characters. love her <333#hello kitty on my style#hello kitty fanart#hello kitty art#hello kitty#art#i'm mel and this is my blog✌️#my art blog#my art#my art <3#art mel#my art style#fanart
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found out that rascal's owner took him again while i was out, and he's probably not gonna be back since the semester's almost over. i don't even know if his owner's coming back next semester, if i'll ever see him again. if he'll ever see me again. why do they wait until im not around to do this? why do they never let me say goodbye to him?
#i didnt really get to process it bc i found out when i was hanging w a friend but. im processing it now#sigh.. i dont know. i dont know.#at the end of the day he is and has always been someone else's cat. i can't control what she does with him#no matter what i think of it. she can always take him away. but every time it happens im just. im tired yknow?#it's worth it to me to have him around. i love him dearly and i want him to be in a home where he's actually cared for (which i have done my#best to provide) but he's just. not mine. and every time it happens i back up and think man. im such a sucker.#i don't think people manipulate me often. not in an ongoing way i mean. i don't think ppl see me as valuable enough to most of the time.#but damn. she really found my weak spots didn't she. free petcare courtesy of one chump who can't live without animals around. sigh#he deserves stability but he deserves love more. this weird shared custody thing is better for him i think. and frankly i also love him.#im not the priority here but my feelings are like. there. him being taken away without even telling me first hurts. i'd like to be able to#say goodbye to him. im not saying he has to stay or this has to go on but couldn't they just.. consider my feelings a bit more?#just bc you're fine with dropping your cat off somewhere for weeks not knowing when you'll see him again and not visiting doesn't mean i am#and i kind of feel like my roommate is part of this. after all it's not like his owner can just break into our room and take him#and if im always out when they do it there's a chance roomie's just shipping him off whenever she gets sick of him.#she's done it before. even after she agreed so vehemently with me about never wanting him to go back to such treatment and stuff early on.#she's been spraying him for little reason lately too. and i mean i get being a little more cautious with some things bc her neck's broken#but she's really fixated on how much he smells and bites and stuff and talks about how if i wasn't around she'd consider eating him#and then other times she's like that's my pookie. i don't get it. like yeah i tell rascal to fuck off sometimes bc he hurts me but it's not#like a hateful thing. i dont resent him for it i'm just annoyed sometimes bc he's maiming me a little. he's my baby. how could i loathe him?#so it makes me think that roomie might be blaming his transfers on his owner bc she doesn't want me to judge her#and like. this is her room too. it's not her fault she's more bothered by the smell than me. if she doesn't want to be bitten and clawed all#the time i can sympathize. i don't wanna force her to house him. but i wish she'd just be honest with me i guess#like. what if his owner decides to give him away without telling me? i'd take him in in a heartbeat. even though i know it's a bad idea.#but i'm worried he'll fall out of my reach completely. and at the very least I'd like to be able to say goodbye first. that's all.
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ah yes, the best way to name fictional cats:
look through your ap world history binder from last year and pick a random name and give it to the cat
#and make sure it didn't belong to anyone particuarly shitty#the first name i stumbled upon was cecil rhodes and i was like#NO. NOT HIM. BAD IDEA. GO FIND SOMEONE ELSE.#(cecil rhodes was a horrible person. he was a leading figure in the colonization of south africa and caused a lot of deaths)#(he also monoploized diamond mining for himself. this was bad.)#so the next name i found was mary wollenstoncraft#and she wasn't particularly shitty so she gets the cat#tone for the entire thing: half joking
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I really dislike the attitude of "why didn't you tell me earlier" when it comes to coming out
1. there can be many reasons
2. a queer person does not owe you anything, even if you are close
3. THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU
#also it perpetuates the idea that you assume everyone is cishet until you are told otherwise#i don't believe that people who react like this are bad people#a friend reacted like that after she found out about me being queer#which i simply hadn't told her about because i was still in the process of figuring myself out#but it also perpetuates that coming out thing#which is stupid because if we wanna normalise queerness we should maybe stop treating it as if it's not normal/not the norm#also hate when they do this in media#prime example ted lasso#i really like this show#but damn was the isaac colin thing stupid#i knew where they were going with it from the beginning#and i did not like it one bit#that whole trope puts the blame/guilt on the queer person for 'not trusting their friend(s) enough#as if queer people don't already have to deal with enough shit#my boy colin went through that whole episode thinking his best friend was homophobic and hated him now#not to mention the possibility of isaac outing him#the show wants you to believe that this was just a misunderstanding between friends and that there is no bad guy#but there is (even if it wasn't his intention) and it's isaac#queer#coming out#outing#ted lasso#colin hughes#isaac mcadoo#mine
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The other day I told a friend of mine that I never forget to take my ADHD meds because I fucking love my ADHD meds. I'm in my late 30s, I didn't finally get a diagnosis and meds until less than two years ago, and they have changed my entire life.
And he raised his eyebrow at me. We'd been discussing addictive medications a few minutes before, like the Tramadol I finally got from the pain specialist to take once a week or so to give me a break from my chronic pain, so I reassured him that methylpenidate (Ritalin/Concerta) is not addictive (at least not in people with ADHD).
His response? To raise his eyebrow even harder and say "Well it sure SOUNDS like it's addictive!"
And I had to explain to this man - who works in a healthcare related job by the way - that just because medication makes you feel good and helps you, just because you look forward to taking it, that doesn't make it addictive or dangerous. And he wasn't convinced.
The simple fact that I was excited to take a daily pill that has literally changed my life, after decades of fighting to get that medication, made him think I shouldn't be taking it so often. That it must inherently be dangerous.
I'm not even in America, but I'm pretty sure this attitude began there and then spread over here to Europe. This Puritan idea of "if something feels good, you must beware of it. Pleasure is dangerous, it is sinful, it is addiction, it is evil."
I know too many people who subconsciously believe that pleasure = addictive = dangerous = bad. Joy is a slippery slope to hell.
So here is your reminder for today that you don't need to be afraid of feeling good. If something improves your life, use it. Even if it is addictive - learn what that addiction means, whether the addiction is inherently dangerous or not, and whether the benefits outweigh the drawbacks and risks.
My ADHD meds are, in fact, not addictive. But I will take them every day because they make my life orders of magnitude easier. I will enjoy them every time I take them.
My tramadol is addictive. I will still take it. I will keep it on a schedule to avoid becoming addicted, primarily because addiction in this case would mean reduced effectiveness. But I am not afraid of my painkillers. They are life changing.
Take your meds, everyone. Don't let anyone scare you away from doing something that improves your life.
#adhd#medication#ritalin#concerta#methylphenidate#addiction#puritan values#neurodivergence#actually adhd#take your meds
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Too old to be a kid too young to be an adult just the right age to cry myself to sleep
#every day I want to give up and go back to my mom's house and apologize for leaving#I'm still powerless here but this is unfamiliar. at least I knew what to expect there#I still had people to avoid and I still didn't want to leave my room but at least I knew I wouldn't be kicked out if I broke a rule#I'm so scared and so sad and I feel so small and so alone#all I want is a home that is mine that I can feel safe and secure in that I can retreat to that I can have power in#All I want is the safety ans security to take a break and to take care of myself#I want to be able to focus on my health for a little while my mental health is so so bad and my stupid brain has realized that I only get#help when it's visible so whenever my mental health gets bad like this I have these constant terrible urges to tear myself apart#The ideas are so vivid and so constant I want to tear my skin to ribbons and break all of my bones and gouge my eyes out and bite my tongue#I want to claw up my face and bite off my fingers and snap each of my ribs#I get phantom aches all over and my body is so tense and wound up and my heart beats so hard for hours and hours#I want to slam my head into a brick wall until something cracks and I hate myself I hate myself for this I hate myself for my selfishness#and for my weakness and for my existence and I want to vomit up my guts and I want my suffering to be real and treatable#I want someone to save me from myself. I want the pain to go away. But there isnt pain is there because its all in my head#I'm doing this to myself just like I have my entire goddamn life. My mom says I was born in pain and cried nonstop for a whole year. Then I#grew out of it and I was perfect. except no I wasn't because I wrote big long notes in phonetic spirals about how I deserve to die.#isn't that a sign?? Isnt that a sign?? i was born this way and things will never get any better they will only change and change and change#and still hurt in ways that I cant prove that I will second guess because maybe they aren't real and I'm just stupid useless helpless weak#when I bleed I can ask someone for a bandaid. when I... exist like this. I can't ask for anything. What helps? What helps? nothing really.#being useless helps until it doesn't. I have to work to pay for the chemicals that barely help. Why do innocent people die every day and not#me. when I pray for it. When I beg. And I'm not afraid to walk alone at night because NOTHING BAD EVER HAPPENS TO ME. Because I'm so lucky.#Soooo lucky. it isnt fair. She deserves it more than me. who? pick. anyone. Someone who wants it. Maybe who I could have been if I were#better. Not me. I dont get hurt. I dont get lost. I dont die. Maybe I cant maybe I never will. I'm more afraid of having to live like this.#My life is always on the line of not quite not quite and I never need help and I always need help and I'm never enough and I'm average.#the standard. the center. Above me dont need and below me do and I? What do I? both. neither. I shouldn't exist. It hurts to exist like this#in between. I should be able to do this myself. I'm the worst player on the best team and the best player on the worst and I don't fit in#either and everyone hates me for being one or the other and I can never be better so I want to be worse and thats my whole life in one#sentiment. I'm always at the bar and I can never get over it. I've been begging forever please lower your expectations I cant do better than#this. so I'll do worse. I'll make myself worse. I deserve it anyway. I'll be more scars than skin and more pain than person and then maybe#I'll belong somewhere god fucking knows even if its a padded room I could belong somewhere.
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Things I've learned from getting covid for the first time in 2023
I wear an N95 in public spaces and I've managed to dodge it for a long time, but I finally got covid for the first time (to my knowledge) in mid-late November 2023. It was a weird experience especially because I feel like it used to be something everyone was talking about and sharing info on, so getting it for the first time now (when people generally seem averse to talking about covid) I found I needed to seek out a lot of info because I wasn't sure what to do. I put so much effort into prevention, I knew less about what to do when you have it. I'm experiencing a rebound right now so I'm currently isolating. So, I'm making a post in the hopes that if you get covid (it's pretty goddamn hard to avoid right now) this info will be helpful for you. It's a couple things I already knew and several things I learned. One part of it is based on my experience in Minnesota but some other states may have similar programs.
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The World Health Organization states you should isolate for 10 days from first having symptoms plus 3 days after the end of symptoms.
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At the time of my writing this post, in Minnesota, we have a test to treat program where you can call, report the result of your rapid test (no photo necessary) and be prescribed paxlovid over the phone to pick up from your pharmacy or have delivered to you. It is free and you do not need to have insurance. I found it by googling "Minnesota Test to Treat Covid"
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Paxlovid decreases the risk of hospitalization and death, but it's also been shown to decrease the risk of Long Covid. Long Covid can occur even from mild or asymptomatic infections.
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Covid rebound commonly occurs 2-8 days after apparent recovery. While many people associate Paxlovid with covid rebound, researchers say there is no strong evidence that Paxlovid causes covid rebound, and rebounds occur in infections that were not treated with Paxlovid as well. I knew rebounds could happen but did not know it could take 8 days. I had mine on day 7 and was completely surprised by it.
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If you start experiencing new symptoms or test positive again, the CDC states that you should start your isolation period again at day zero. Covid rebound is still contagious. Personally I'd suggest wearing a high quality respirator around folks for an additional 8-9 days after you start to test negative in case of a rebound.
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Positive results on a rapid test can be very faint, but even a very faint line is positive result. Make sure to look at your rapid test result under strong lighting. Also, false negatives are not uncommon. If you have symptoms but test negative taking multiple tests and trying different brands if you have them are not bad ideas. My ihealth tests picked up my covid, my binax now tests did not.
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EDIT: I'd highly suggest spending time with friends online if you can, I previously had a link to the NAMI warmline directory in this post but I've since been informed that NAMI is very much funded by pharmaceutical companies and lobbies for policies that take autonomy away from disabled folks, so I've taken that off of here! Sorry, I had no idea, the People's CDC listed them as a resource so I just assumed they were legit! Feel free to reply/reblog this with other warmlines/support resources if you know of them! And please reblog this version!
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I know that there is so much we can't control as individuals right now, and that's frightening. All we can do is try our best to reduce harm and to care for each other. I hope this info will be able to help folks.
#covid#covid 19#harm reduction#apparently only 16% of Americans even got their booster#it's wild out there#which makes sense because our public health messaging has been super unhelpful and intentionally shifted the burden#of infection control onto individuals to avoid us holding them accountable because it's politically and economically inconvenient to them
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tuned into Plestia's live with Rahma Zein's second account (she got shadowbanned). key moments:
plestia talked about her adjustment to living in australia. "it's 1:30am now and it's normal for me and many palestinians who live abroad to be awake hours into the morning. i am scared of sleeping. because of the time difference, i'm scared if i sleep i will wake up to bad news. in gaza i was scared of the sound of the bombs, here i am scared of the quiet."
contacting family and friends in gaza is near impossible. "sometimes i feel like a crazy person, calling 20 times in a row hoping that on the 21st time the call might go through."
on the destruction of entire communities and neighbourhoods: "i'm scared when i go back to gaza i won't recognise it anymore. someone sent me a picture of my neighbourhood, and i couldn't tell it was mine at first. all my favourite places, cafes where the aunties used to give me extra food and ask about my day, have been destroyed. i dread looking at my gallery or seeing snapchat memories because most of these people in the pictures are no longer alive."
rahma asked plestia to talk about one story that stuck with her. plestia said "i remember walking one time on the 'safe corridor', that's what they called it anyway, and i saw an older woman clutching onto a donkey cart where her son's body was, refusing to let go of it. i asked my colleague what the smell was, he said it's dead bodies under the rubble. it was the first time i familiarised myself with the smell. the son's body was decaying and the woman told me about cats and animals eating away at it. i've had children talk to me about birds eating away at their parents' decomposing bodies and not being able to chase them away."
"it seems so silly to go to hospitals for minor sicknesses now. i can't even think about how many palestinian children are going to be terrified of hospitals now. there was a girl who was taken to the hospital to get treatment for injuries by one of the bombs, and while she was in the bathroom another bomb landed nearby. the impact from that sent the ceiling crashing down on her.. she got another injury while getting treated for her first one."
"i hate how people talk about our resilience - as if it's okay that this is happening to us. we are only surviving because we have to, because we have no other choice."
rahma brought up the way family homes are set up in palestine and asked plestia to elaborate. "basically, there are floors. someone will live on the ground floor, and then their married son lives with his children on the floor above them, and then their successors above them and so on. so when family homes are targeted, they wipe out entire families. many families officially no longer exist."
"i used to wear my journalist helmet and vest all the time, felt naked without it, even slept with the vest on sometimes until i realised it only made me more of a target. they didn't give me any protection, only headaches and back pain."
"i am an optimistic person, i loved covering sweet sentimental things, like at my graduation asking parents of top graduates how they feel about their children graduating. that's what i love reporting on. i wanted to cover things like that when i came back to gaza, show the beautiful side of gaza that the media didn't really show, but i didn't have the chance." "do you think they'll give you right of return?" "i can only hope."
plestia mentioned how hard it was being a journalist with limited access to the internet, charging facilities, no mics, lack of equipment and how difficult it was uploading things. rahma asked her what's one story that wasn't really recorded or posted due to these constraints; plestia said "the evacuations. sometimes they informed us about them, sometimes they didn't. you have no idea how hard it was, everyone looking for their family members, making sure every one was there, taking to the streets in 5 minutes and not knowing which way to go. i remember i went to my friend's house for shelter for 30 minutes before the first evacuation was announced and we ran to another family's house, stayed there for 2 days before another evacuation was announced. me, my friend, and that family all evacuated together to another family's house. there were already so many people there seeking shelter, it wasn't just one family staying there. none of us knew how long we had in any place."
before october 7th, palestinians were used to limitations on electricity. plestia used to plan her day's tasks around when the electricity was working. "for example when the electricity was on from 12 to 4, i would say i will do my laundry and charge the phones during this time. life wasn't exactly 'normal', but all of us pray to have those days back in comparison to what we are experiencing now." plestia also said that cars are running on cooking oil now because there is no fuel.
on hygiene: "many pregnant women have to give birth without any pain medication or medical attention. once we ran out of medicine, that was it. women who had to get C-sections couldn't stay to recover or get followup treatments because someone else needed the bed. we have no water, no tissues, no pads, barely any bathrooms. in the shelter schools you have to wait an hour before even getting to use the bathroom because of how many people are there."
"something you don't hear about is how many people die because of sadness. there's so many ways to die in gaza, because of the bombardment, because of starvation, the lack of resources, but i also know many elderly people who died because their hearts couldn't take it anymore. i have been in gaza before and lived through 4 aggressions, but nothing compared to this one."
a recurring sentiment that was echoed in the video: "sometimes i thought to myself: who am i recording this for? because we've already shown everything, we've already talked about everything. everything has already been said, the proof is everywhere, nothing i talked about today is new." rahma said the first video posted about what's happening in palestine should've been enough.
she is 22 today. plestia's closing words: don't stop talking about us, don't stop boycotting, don't stop protesting, please don't get bored of fighting for palestine.
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