#I want to be able to focus on my health for a little while my mental health is so so bad and my stupid brain has realized that I only get
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be-good-to-bugs · 8 months ago
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maybe i WILL get to move back home
#the bin#i talked to my mom and things might go ok but idk#i just have to wait and see but i desperately hope i can move. i need to see a doctor so bad. my whole body feels horrible all the time#and my tooth has gotten so much worse. i can deal with it if thres an end date. i cant deal with it indefinitely. and i cant afford to get#it fixed without insurance. i would rather die than deal with this shit for another however long i have to i CAN NOT do that#esp bc i would need to go to work while experiencing it. idk. im shaky literally ALL the time and my insides alwyas hurt and my joints#hurt so much too. and half the time im at work my chest hurts and i cant see straight. i cant fuckin do this anymorew.#apparently my dad might be getting a new job so their landlord might be more willing to renew but idk. she said she should know on april 1st#which isnt that far away but idk. i mean. its not impossible theyll renew. who knows. i hope so.#i know at keast thst i have a way to get there if there is a place for me to live so thats good. my health cant take this anymore. and im#also not able to emotionally. idk what other option i have but. god. its hard enough as is. im having like a perpetual panic attack since i#found out i probs wont get to move. im tryna be optimistic. i dont think im physically capable of staying here any longer#it was hard enough to stay herenthis extra yearm ive been having breakdowns repeatedly over it. and my physical health keeps worsening#i miss my little sister. i wanna be able to see the people i care about. theres so few people in the world i enjoy being around and i dont#get to see them ever. instead i have to see my second least favorite person in the world in order to even just get groceries#hhhh. i want the time to pass so i can know for sure but i also desperately dont wnat it to cause im so scared itll be bad news#whatever. i will hope and believe that itll work out until i know that it wont. hhhhh. worst case scenario i guess ill just have to save up#and figure out moving there later on but like. i was really happy to NOT have to worry abt rent or working so i could focus on my health and#then i could go back that that stuff. oh well
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apollo-zero-one · 9 months ago
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Too old to be a kid too young to be an adult just the right age to cry myself to sleep
#every day I want to give up and go back to my mom's house and apologize for leaving#I'm still powerless here but this is unfamiliar. at least I knew what to expect there#I still had people to avoid and I still didn't want to leave my room but at least I knew I wouldn't be kicked out if I broke a rule#I'm so scared and so sad and I feel so small and so alone#all I want is a home that is mine that I can feel safe and secure in that I can retreat to that I can have power in#All I want is the safety ans security to take a break and to take care of myself#I want to be able to focus on my health for a little while my mental health is so so bad and my stupid brain has realized that I only get#help when it's visible so whenever my mental health gets bad like this I have these constant terrible urges to tear myself apart#The ideas are so vivid and so constant I want to tear my skin to ribbons and break all of my bones and gouge my eyes out and bite my tongue#I want to claw up my face and bite off my fingers and snap each of my ribs#I get phantom aches all over and my body is so tense and wound up and my heart beats so hard for hours and hours#I want to slam my head into a brick wall until something cracks and I hate myself I hate myself for this I hate myself for my selfishness#and for my weakness and for my existence and I want to vomit up my guts and I want my suffering to be real and treatable#I want someone to save me from myself. I want the pain to go away. But there isnt pain is there because its all in my head#I'm doing this to myself just like I have my entire goddamn life. My mom says I was born in pain and cried nonstop for a whole year. Then I#grew out of it and I was perfect. except no I wasn't because I wrote big long notes in phonetic spirals about how I deserve to die.#isn't that a sign?? Isnt that a sign?? i was born this way and things will never get any better they will only change and change and change#and still hurt in ways that I cant prove that I will second guess because maybe they aren't real and I'm just stupid useless helpless weak#when I bleed I can ask someone for a bandaid. when I... exist like this. I can't ask for anything. What helps? What helps? nothing really.#being useless helps until it doesn't. I have to work to pay for the chemicals that barely help. Why do innocent people die every day and not#me. when I pray for it. When I beg. And I'm not afraid to walk alone at night because NOTHING BAD EVER HAPPENS TO ME. Because I'm so lucky.#Soooo lucky. it isnt fair. She deserves it more than me. who? pick. anyone. Someone who wants it. Maybe who I could have been if I were#better. Not me. I dont get hurt. I dont get lost. I dont die. Maybe I cant maybe I never will. I'm more afraid of having to live like this.#My life is always on the line of not quite not quite and I never need help and I always need help and I'm never enough and I'm average.#the standard. the center. Above me dont need and below me do and I? What do I? both. neither. I shouldn't exist. It hurts to exist like this#in between. I should be able to do this myself. I'm the worst player on the best team and the best player on the worst and I don't fit in#either and everyone hates me for being one or the other and I can never be better so I want to be worse and thats my whole life in one#sentiment. I'm always at the bar and I can never get over it. I've been begging forever please lower your expectations I cant do better than#this. so I'll do worse. I'll make myself worse. I deserve it anyway. I'll be more scars than skin and more pain than person and then maybe#I'll belong somewhere god fucking knows even if its a padded room I could belong somewhere.
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amalg-em · 9 months ago
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Tbh when it comes down to it I'm just incredibly lonely. Having a domestic partner doesn't change that when you throw in multiple disabilities and poverty. It doesn't matter to loneliness if you live with someone if that person is usually unavailable. Nor does the existence of "friends" mean anything if those people are only around for the rare shared activity or meal.
The absence of loneliness requires regular shared time, vulnerability, shared struggle, and some degree of intimacy (it can be emotional, platonic, whatever). At least for me. And none of those things are available to me. Some of it is being in my 30s and only knowing people who are always busy. Some of it is being neurodivergent and the trauma that comes with that that's taught me not to dare to ask for anything because the moment I do I'll be cut off. Some of it is being a fat transmasc, because even among fellow queers the intersection of unattractive + masculine means I lack value in other people's eyes.
But honestly it doesn't matter who well you can break it down into factors, because at the end of the day none of these things are going to change. I can't go back to the performance of gender I had before I knew what I was. I can't undo the trauma that I've experienced that taught me to shut up and keep my head down to avoid getting hurt. I can't give people less busy lives with more time for joy in them, nor can I change the fact that when they do have time I'm not enough of a priority to spend it on.
It's going to keep being how it is now, and I'm just going to have to learn to accept that, but I hate it and I don't want to.
#And it breaks my heart honestly#These next 6-8 months before I get top surgery are the freest I'm going to be for decades#Almost none of my responsibilities are scheduled and I can work when I want to#I have energy and focus#And I want to be spending time with people. I really do#But the people I want to be spending time with just aren't available#They have jobs and responsibilities that can't be moved around#And what little free time they do get is not time they want to be spending with me#I'm. Just not a priority.#And I never going to get this time back#Once top surgery is done it's back to work for me#And while K will be able to work less and take some of the domestic burden#That's dependant on her health being stabilized and she still hasn't seen a doctor#So more likely I will be juggling being the main income earner as well as the one handling the domestic stuff#While also providing care for her disability#That's not going to leave any time for fun. Much less strengthening existing relationships#And even my relationship with K is going to be weakened because I'm going to be doing all of the work and working opposite schedule probably#So... It's only going to get more lonely from here#And some of this is the depression talking but I don't want to do it. I don't want to go through life like this#Always pouring from an empty cup into other people and never getting to recharge#I'm so tired of it. I'm so tired of being lonely and I just want to stop.#But I made commitments so now I have to keep going#No matter how much it hurts
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enwoso · 3 months ago
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grumpy universe where alessia gets sick and the girls step in to babysit and get her better
I’M OKAY — alessia russo x child!reader
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grumpy masterlist
it was tough being ill while having a child as long go the days where you could lie in bed all day with a bottle of ice cold water at your side as you slept the day away.
as instead alessia had not only herself to nurse back to full health but also had to still be a mother. almost like a superhero, be two things at once.
alessia had been feeling awful the past few days days,
she's gotten ill. her throat has never felt rougher and her head felt as though she was bashing it against a wall and her nose was blocked to the point she was having a hard time breathing through it.
and while she wished she could tucked up in bed. she couldn't.
not when she had a four year old running with buckets of energy all day which was definitely not helping alessia's pounding headache she’s had the past couple of days.
but alessia couldn't in no way fault you, your bundle of energy was actually slightly helping put a smile on the blondes face even though she felt rubbish.
"you ready lovie" alessia smiled as the two of you walked towards the training ground. your mummy trying to sound as enthusiastic as she could trying her best to put her illness to the back of her mind.
"yes! katie said she would play my game with me" you giggled as you kept ahold of your mummy's hand, you were talking about a children's card game which luca had gotten you and while the team was finishing up lunch you had spent the time explaining the game to katie who sounded genuinely very intrigued at the game you'd explained.
"oh that sound fun! don't let her beat you" your mummy grinned as your eyebrows furrowed as you firmly shook your head.
"never, nobody beat me at it" you stated proudly, as alessia hummed opening the door for you to walk in first. and to be fair to you, when you'd played the game with your uncles and your mummy you hadn't lost, but maybe that was because they didn't want to see your crushed little face if you lost.
walking into the canteen where most girls were having breakfast, you made a beeline straight for katie who was sat down with caitlin, teyah and beth. "katie, i got my game!" you called out.
alessia just let you make your run towards katie as truthfully she didn't have the energy in her to call you back over even though it was barely past nine am.
alessia slotted herself down on the next closest table, not looking who was there instead just sitting down. emily, lotte and leah who were sat at the table all looked at each other with a knowing look.
alessia was sat with her head in her hands, the bright lights were making her head pound even more and her throat felt as dry as a desert.
"less are you okay?" lotte asked with a wince, the three girls could clearly see something was up.
"yep!" alessia mumbled popping out the p as she sniffled, before a series of coughs came from the blonde. the sound of alessia's voice and the coughs coming from her totally contradicting what she'd just said.
"you sound sick?" emily said trying the more direct way as her eyebrows raised, worried for her fellow teammate but also her close friend.
"i'll be fine, y/n is my main focus" alessia grumbled as the blondes head turned to your direction seeing you smiling and playing your game with katie contently, teyah and beth even having a turn.
"less- i know tiny is important but you need to make sure your looking after your own health" leah told the blonde as alessia just waved her off another sniffle coming as she had a sip of water.
"no alessia im being serious, your a mess. i think you need to go home and spend the day in bed otherwise your not gonna be able to play properly" leah spoke in her serious tone which told alessia that leah was most definitely being serious.
alessia glanced over to lotte and emily who both had the same telling look while a sympathetic smile that told the blonde exactly what she needed to do and that was take leah's advice.
"but what about y/n?" alessia quickly got out but leah quickly came up with a solution.
"she can stay at mine" leah shrugged, you had stayed at leah's before so alessia knew she could trust leah but alessia didn't like you staying out especially when it wasn't exactly necessary.
"but-"
"alessia no more buts. you need to go home, make a full recovery, tiny can stay with me for the night if she wants, beth and viv are coming over to mine later anyway so you don't need to worry about her living off chicken nuggets" leah reassured as a deep sigh of defeat came from alessia as she nodded.
"sorted then!"
"lovie" alessia called you over, motioning with her hands as you looked towards katie, teyah and beth giving them strict orders to not touch the game otherwise that would be cheating as you slipped down from the table and made your way towards your mummy with a sweet smile on your face.
"lovie, mummy's going home now. but you gonna stay here with your aunties okay" your mummy told you as you nodded slowly, but you were slightly confused.
"why you going home?" you asked, holding onto the edge of the table as you swung your leg back and forth.
"cause mummy's poorly, and i feel really really sick" alessia pouted as you nodded understandingly as your mummy began to speak again.
"how would you feel staying at auntie lele's house tonight?" mummy asked cautiously, not wanting you to feel as though you had to but by the change in your face and the look of excitement in your smile, alessia had her answer.
"yes! yes! yes!"
"but you have to be on your best behaviour for leah and do as she tells you, just like you do for me okay" your mummy told you as you nodded your head promising your mummy.
"your always on your best behaviour aren't you tiny!" leah ruffled your head as you turned to nod at the blonde who had a big grin on her face.
"right, well mummy loves you and i'll see you tomorrow yeah" your mummy smiled as you hugged her tight before alessia placed a gentle kiss on your forehead as you said goodbye to your mummy.
"less call if you need anything" lotte smiled as alessia nodded, wincing slightly as she stood her headache still not easing. you waving goodbye while blowing kisses as she left the training ground.
"lele can we have chocolate pizza for dinner tonight?" you asked with an innocent smile now that your mum wasn't in the room anymore.
you knowing all to well that your mummy wouldn't ever in a million years let you have that for dinner, so why not try your luck somewhere else and after all at least that would have less room for mistake considering leah wasn't the best in a kitchen setting.
"aye let's not push our luck tiny!" leah laughed before you sighed taking that as a no before remembering about your game with katie.
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bunnys-kisses · 16 days ago
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Peperoni pizza and ghostly cheesecakes with Pepsi zero served by Daniel Ricciardo please and thank you bunny xoxo ❤️
bakery menu - halloween menu
the spooky menu is open until novemeber 2rd! so please feel free to submit an order! there are some new items just for the holidays! thank you so much and i hope your spooky season is extra fun! and don't eat too much candy!! <3
pepperoni pizza: "i wonder if that mascara will run when i'm finished with you." + ghostly cheesecake: "i got a broomstick you can ride on." + pepsi zero: rough sex served by daniel ricciardo (formula one)!!
tags: smut/pwp, halloween, rough sex, dirty talk, pretzel dip position, very light choking
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halloween was quiet in the ricciardo home. you and daniel getting comfortable on the couch to watch a scary movie. but it was hard to focus on jason vs freddy when your boyfriend had his hands up your shirt. his large hands on your breasts.
"i wanna see who win this fight of the century." you giggled as daniel placed kisses against your chest. you arched your back a little as exhaled deeply, "fuck."
he pressed more kisses on your skin and watched you squirm. you looked like a dream as you moved against him. he loved it when you moved against him, when the pleasure was just a little too much for you to handle. such a sensitive little thing. daniel adored you.
"i thought you wanted to watch hocus pocus after." you giggled as you felt his lips on your neck.
"ah well, i got a broomstick you can ride on instead."
the movie was abandoned in the living room as the two of you got into the bedroom. you got your hands under his t-shirt as he held your face while you kissed. his hands felt nice on your face as the kisses grew so deep.
"oh fuck." you sighed, "so much for the movie marathon." you felt his knee between your legs and rub your achy cunt through your black track pants. the thing fabric did very little to prevent the pleasure from coming up your spine.
"we can watch halloween movies all year, beautiful."
"and you can't fuck me all year?" you remarked.
he smiled at you, "that too, but, you know i can't get enough of you. the moment i have my hands on you. i can't stop." he groaned a little as he felt your warmth under him.
you blushed from his words, you felt the course of heat through your soul as you felt his closeness. his hands on you felt incredible as he continued to kiss you. your head started to feel warmth at the edges of your soul.
he pulled away and held you by your jaw, he stared down at you with passion in his gaze. daniel was an enthusiastic, passionate lover. he made sure you never went without pleasure. but his dirty talk left you in shambles. he said to you, "i wonder if that mascara will run when i'm finished with you."
the rest of your clothes were quickly stripped. he had you at your side with your hips turned to him. he slotted himself against you. his hard cock nudged against against your entrance as your thigh draped over him. while it was cowgirl or doggy, he allowed daniel to work your pussy exactly how you wanted. to give you that stretch you craved.
he sank into you and a moan left your lips. he pinned your head down to the covers by your neck and clutched onto your thigh. he could feel you so well, your cunt familiar with him. it made a rush bubble up in his throat.
he was straddled on your thigh with your other thigh around him. he was able to push you further onto the bed as he rocked against you from a different angle. while he loved when you rode him like the cowgirl you were, there was something more intimate about the position (thanks women's health!). he rocked against you. he cock heavy inside of you.
you looked cute when you watched scary movies, you two could go back to watching them later. but for now, he needed you. a deep carnal desire. and as the pleasure washed over you, he saw the wobble of your bottom lip. the feeling growing to become overwhelming as daniel's cock dragged and nudged against your most sensitive areas.
he loved fucking you, he loved to pin you down and fuck you with a hot want. he could see the raccoon eyes of your mascara take form as a few stray tears formed in your eyes. it only turned daniel on further. you looked amazing. he didn't want you sobbing, but to see you so vulnerable excited him. you always excited him.
"next time, i'll take you over the couch. bend you over and fuck you while we watch a slasher movie. hear the movie screams while i fuck you against the couch. we'll see what's louder, the violence or your sweet moans." he said with a wicked grin, "my money is on you. my loud little angel." he continued to thrust against you and it made your stomach twist in the best was possible.
"fuck, danny." you arched your back a little but he kept you further pinned onto the bed. the pleasure felt amazing in your core. you loved how it made you feel. daniel was the kind of force to be reckoned with. he knew how to make you whimper and whine.
he groaned, "that's my girl." he purred as he continued to move, "you drive me crazy all the time. everytime i think about you, i know i have to have you."
you held onto the soft grey covers under you as he moved against you faster. your breasts bounced as the two of you rutted against one another on the soft bed with both shared. you could faintly hear the movie in the background, but were too engrossed with the sight of your lustful boyfriend between your legs.
"pretty doesn't even begin to describe how you look right now. can't stop staring at you, babe." he chuckled as he worked his hips faster against you.
you moaned a little as a few tears slipped down your cheeks. that pretty mascara got all messed up, silly daniel. he continued to fuck you, the pleasure had polluted your brain as he fucked up against you. he always knew how to make you feel so good.
the two of you continued to move against one another. the pleasure began to hit its peak. you felt the tightness in your body as the pleasure raced up and down your spine. it felt amazing.
it didn't take much longer before you held onto the covers tightly and tensed up around your lover. you moaned a little louder as you felt the thump of hot lust in your body. your noises got a bit louder as you felt climax reach you.
"ah, danny!" you whined as you came.
"that's my girl." he groaned as he continued to fuck you. he loved how you felt against him. he thrusted harder into you and watched your body move alongside his movements. he groaned loudly as he felt the tightness of your cunt around his cock.
you tried to form words, but the nothing came out besides a soft moan. daniel held onto you for a moment longer as he slowed to a stop. he looked down at you before he leaned in and kissed you on the mouth. he let go of his loose grip on your throat and you moaned into the kiss.
when he pulled away he wiped your eyes and chuckled, "how about we get the mascara off of you. don't want it to get in your eyes." always the loving boyfriend even when he reduced to tears in the bedroom. he pulled out and got his briefs on before he left the bedroom to grab you make up wipes.
you were left on the bed and laid sprawled out on it. you panted heavily as you tried to compose yourself. he came back and slowly wiped away the make up from your eyes and peppered your cheeks with kisses. daniel couldn't help but get a little handsy as you were cuddled up to him.
"now." he said, "let's get the laptop open and watch the next movie in here. i can't promise we'll finish that one either." he said with a wink. <3
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mallstars · 13 days ago
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Speaking Up
After months of consideration, I’ve decided to speak up about a deeply distressing experience I had in the Drarry community. 
A little over half a year ago, I was abruptly banned from a community of Drarry writers after a vague statement accusing a member of harassment. I was never told specifically what I was accused of; nobody ever spoke to me or provided any explanation for their actions. When I tried to reach out, I was blocked. 
In a slow trickle of information provided by other people over the following weeks and months, I learned that I’d been blamed for anonymous hate comments left on a fellow writer’s AO3, based on “credible evidence”, which wasn’t shared. 
I want to be very clear: 
I did not leave these hate comments, nor would I ever leave hate comments to anyone. The person who received these comments, as well as everyone supporting their accusations, were people whose work I enjoyed privately and publicly. 
I have no idea what “evidence” anyone could have come up with to support the claim that I left those anonymous comments. Other than knowing that I'm innocent, I've also learned that you cannot determine the identity of a guest commenter on AO3. 
There’s something uniquely jarring and isolating about being falsely accused of having done something bad, without being told what it is and without being given the chance to defend myself, as well as this accusation coming from people I considered friends, in a community that prides itself on being kind and mature. 
Being branded a harasser by people I trusted has had a devastating effect on my experience in fandom, my fandom relationships, and on my mental health. It has made navigating fandom spaces challenging, and had a noticeable impact even on my real, everyday life. I’m still dealing with the fallout of what happened, half a year later. 
For months, I’ve been thinking about how to address this matter. Ultimately, I’ve decided against a more detailed recount of what happened and how it continues to affect me, as I don’t want to invite any further negativity, towards me or the people who targeted me. 
Instead, I want to be clear about who I am and how I engage with the Drarry community. I care deeply about my stories, as well as other creators and the fandom spaces we share. I’ve always strived to uplift others and to be a kind, authentic, and fun participant. As a passionate reader, I will continue doing what I enjoy: reading stories and being vocal in my support of the creators of this fandom. 
Creating and being an active part of the fandom space always went hand in hand for me, and this has been difficult for the majority of this year. As of now, I’m not sure I’ll keep writing in this community, but I’ll take every day as it comes. In the end, I'm a writer with all my heart, and if I end up wanting to stick around, I'll be happy for it. 
In speaking up about this now, I’m giving myself permission to move on. It has seemed imperative to me to understand not only the What of the situation but also the Why. However, in the end, none of my guesses hold much weight. I’ve not been able to find a sensible link between myself and the person I was made out to be. I’ve exhausted myself and my options, and am finally giving myself permission to stop trying to understand the motivations of those who accused me, and instead focus on the positive aspects of being part of this community. 
Finally, I want to say that I strongly believe in open communication. I wasn’t given the chance to respond to the accusations when it mattered the most. Still, I am, and always have been, genuinely happy to talk. To anyone who’s reading this and would like to chat, whether you know about this situation or not: My DMs are open. 
I'm so very grateful to the people who've listened to me, created new safe spaces for and with me, and cared while I did my best to navigate this situation. I'm grateful, too, to those friends who cracked jokes about this mess long before I was ready to. Thank you for being the brightest part of my fandom experience. Your friendship, as well as the incredible stories I’ve gotten to read in this fandom, will stay with me, and continue to shine brighter than anyone could diminish. 
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knavesflames · 1 month ago
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chat this contains sh DO NYAT read if uncomfy
putting this in ur ask box cos im desperate for it to be written on my knees screaming
genshin girlies tracting their s/os skin where they see scars while u cuddle naked maybe after a sesh or even just skin to skin cuddling and they speak softly telling you you did a good job and everything and even kissing them AUGH HEHEHRHEHEGRGEGRGRGRGRBDJFJSLANHAHA
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Hi <3 sorry this took me so long to get to! I have had a whirlwind of health struggles both mental and physical but I am trying to Lock In again. I’m sorry you went through such tough times :( I understand, and I get the struggle, if you get what I’m implying. Stay safe and healthy fr<3
Word count: 867
Content: sh implied in the past but it’s not graphic, just briefly mentioned, talk of scars, fluff
tw utc
Arlecchino has a rule— as blunt as she may be, she isn’t as cruel as the world likes to make her out to be. Judgemental, though she is, she refuses to comment on something that a person cannot change. She deems it basic decency (it is), but even some of the most polite people she knows don’t hesitate before speaking, or, well, looking. Despite the discomfort she knows you experience when people’s eyes wander and dwell on the exact thing you don’t want them to look at, she herself has never done so. Curious, she has to admit she has been, as would most be if they had a girlfriend with such marks littering her skin. Purely out of concern and care does she wish to know the story of what led you to make such decisions. She does not ask. Arlecchino herself has scars from countless hours of training herself to execute ‘Mother’, ones she keeps hidden under the fabric of her pristine white suit. Ones only you have seen, during moments of intimacy when the night is dark and the air in the room is so suffocatingly warm. You know her story, so you don’t ask.
It seems to be a cycle. She sees them, says nothing, and holds back from doing what she’d really like to do for fear of being insensitive or revealing the softness she keeps hidden. The marks are hidden again, and neither of you say a word. In truth, they shouldn’t be the main focus of the conversation and she understands that, but a part of her yearns to know you, and to understand the parts of you that you’ve refused to reveal.
On the days she catches you staring just a little too longingly at That Drawer in the kitchen, or the days where you seem a little more miserable than usual when you glance at your skin, she’s sure to pull you away from the mirror or the kitchen under the guise of needing you to look over some of the plans for the orphanage, or needing to go shopping. She’s so good at doing so, you don’t even notice she’s done it until hours later.
One particular night, after multiple hours of pleasure and mumbled words of affection, she decides to be bold. Hesitantly, her blackened hand reaches to rest on your thigh. The act itself is nothing new, with you, Arlecchino is a very touchy person, always reminding both her and you that you’re hers. Her thumb however, strokes over one particular scar she’s eyed for a while. It’s a feather light touch, testing the waters, and she’s perfectly prepared to lift her hand away should you indicate as such. You do not. You lean into her touch, almost, like you’ve been waiting for her to get comfortable enough to touch them. You become lost in your own thoughts, and you become unaware of how much time passes before her voice cuts through them, as stern as always, but softer than usual.
“Is this recent?” She hums in slight disapproval as her thumb grazes over it, but she says nothing more, which, if you’re honest, you’re grateful for.
“I had a moment,” you mutter in reply, your head buried into her neck. Her perfume still adorns her skin, and you wonder how expensive said perfume must be if it’s been able to last such a long time, and through such strenuous activity. “I realised and I stopped.”
“Good.” A breath, and her voice lowers until it’s barely louder than a murmur. The sincerity is there though, and her lips move against your hair. “I am proud of you. You have done well.”
“I have not done well, it is—“
“You would not have stopped four years ago. Or two, for that matter. Any progress is better than no progress.” Arlecchino’s voice is gentle, yet unwavering. When you go to protest again, she can practically see the words form before your voice can carry them. “Of course I know how often you were doing it. I am no fool. I said nothing because begging someone to stop doing something when they do not wish to stop is a fruitless endeavour and harmful for both parties in the long run. I just wished you would speak to me if you needed.”
You decide to continue letting her trace every scar she finds on your body. She traces random shapes with the tip of her nail (lucky for you, she filed them a while ago. For.. other reasons). In a moment of affection, she traces little hearts over each one, never missing one, and never giving one more care than another. Both of you stay silent, but the words don’t need to be spoken, and any words that did, have already been said. Arlecchino sees no need in making you uncomfortable when she knows you’ll speak if you need.
Speak you do, eventually, and she remains silent as she listens, giving the occasional nod or ‘mm’ to reassure you that she’s listening. She files all of the information away into her mind, and vows to herself she won’t forget a single word. Arlecchino vows she will love you always.
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salemlinnet · 28 days ago
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hey everyone!
a few news items right before we start up chapter 5. firstly i just wanna say thanks to everyone who follows my comics, it's been a pleasure as always. i've been keeping a longer buffer on patreon than usual, mostly for my mental health. publishing takes a lot of energy and i've really felt it necessary to just focus on production for a few weeks. at this point, patrons have seen most of chapter 5, there's only one more scene and about a page to be drawn. the quiet has been nice, i've caught up on a lot of house keeping, though i'm obviously very excited to present it! and on house keeping,
DOMESTICATED IS NOW LIVE AT IT'S NEW HOME!
to not go into the boring details (the old domain got trapped between to hosting sites in the middle of a buyout), it's not hosted at cod-domesticated.com (rip custom url you will be missed) it will instead be hosted at salemlinnet.com/domesticated (now you live at my house like you're my son why didn't i think of this sooner). if you find any errors in the pages i am so sorry i just formatted so many buttons TTuTT it would be super helpful to me if folks could report any specific buttons that don't work if it's convenient, it's been beta tested by the discord (thank you guys so much) but i'm just a dunce and i can't be trusted so there might be errors.
the simons are all wearing a little beret this chapter is my third point of business, i am losing it over the ghost beret. oh and the devil may care is up to chapter 18, will be chapter 19 within a few days. page 21 is out for patrons.
finally, to the people lurking for thistle and spade. i've wanted to say for some time, i'm really grateful that you've stuck around while i've been too sick to work on a bigger project. if you were here to see me start production for and then pull ghost #1, the story behind it is that i sort of suddenly learned i wouldn't always be as sick as i was, that i didn't have to rush anything, and that i could produce thistle and spade in chronological order with a bit of patience. that left me with no smaller project to draw and release in the mean time, except, see, i really like this game, call of duty. i was still on bed rest when i started domesticated, and with a ton of physical therapy i've been able to draw longer and longer hours. it's trained me up to be a better comic artist than i ever was before. it's grown into a sturdier project at the same pace. it's so unlike thistle and spade, whose chapters were written and edited over years and planned to every gesture and expression. i'm just winging it with domesticated, i'm usually rewriting massive swaths of dialogue as i sketch the scenes out, i just keep throwing out ideas until it's something i'm excited to draw and present as my imaginary "what happened outside of the games" day dream land. it's reminded me what i love so much about story telling and comics. it's made me excited to see thistle and spade go live again down the road. but first i have to rebuild its website too TTuTT
all right i'll see everyone pretty soon! thanks for hanging around as usual!
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virtualvault · 1 month ago
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Full Body Workout
Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x f!reader
Summary: You challenge Miguel to a sparring match.
Warnings: SMUT, NSFW, 18+ ONLY, teasing, begging, oral (m/f receiving), unprotected p in v, wrestling/ grappling for control, too many positions to list lol, mirror sex, dirty talk, creampie
WC: 3.4k
A/N: This prompt won the poll that I put out AGES ago. Sorry it took so long, personal life and work life have been getting in the way and my mental health tanked so I didn’t have it in me to write anything. But, I’m back and feeling inspired again so I was able to finish this. Also, let me know your honest opinion on the positions I wrote reader and Miguel in because holy shit that was harder than I thought it was going to be. I wanted to really capture the feeling that they were wrestling around on the floor, but didn't want to make it too confusing. Please let me know if it made any sense lol. It was a challenge, but fun to write so I hope you enjoy and as always, feedback is encouraged and appreciated!!
Miguel is excited that you agreed to join him for his mid-morning workout. But excitement quickly turns to regret as you begin stretching on the mat in front of him. “This was a mistake," he mutters, and you look back and give him a questioning look.
 “How am I supposed to focus when you’re doing that?” He gestures to your ass on full display, sticking straight up in the air.
 You smile cheekily. "Well, if you don't want to watch me stretch, why don't you help me instead?" You teasingly wiggle your hips to entice him. It works, and he comes over to kneel on the floor behind you. Little do you know, he's planning to do a little teasing of his own as payback for distracting him. 
 He runs his hands up the backs of your thighs and gives your ass a light squeeze before maneuvering you onto your back. He raises one of your legs up and throws it over his shoulder, then leans over you. The tension in your hamstring causes a familiar burn and a thrill runs through you. When he switches legs, you feel his hardening bulge rub up against you and a soft moan slips from your lips. You try to move your hips against him, but before you can he places a quick kiss to your forehead and sits upright.
 "Alright, I think you've been thoroughly stretched out, now let's get to it." He shoots you a wink as he stands. You had been hoping he'd let his dick do all the thinking and forfeit his original plans for an entirely different, and way more desirable, form of workout. But he seems determined to stick to his normal routine, much to your disappointment.
 You get up, begrudgingly, to begin your own workout. It's leg day and you decide to start with some lunges. You intentionally face him, not wanting to miss the show. You love watching him workout. His sheer strength never fails to amaze you. Not only that, but he always does everything with such finesse and ease,, and you usually end up just bailing on your workout to watch him, your mouth watering and eyes glued to his body.
 It's not only his movements that are entrancing, but the sounds. My god, the sounds he makes. All the heavy breathing and grunting causes a wet heat to flare between your legs. If you close your eyes, you can picture him above you, fucking you with the same power and agility he's showcasing right now.
 He's in a pushup position, doing reps with a weight bigger than your head. Every time he pulls it up to his chest, he lets out a jagged exhale through his nose and you wish desperately you were feeling it on your neck while he pounds into you from behind.
 You find yourself completely mesmerized by the sounds he's making, the furrow in his brow, and the sweat glistening on his skin. It's a delicious sight and you realize you've completely stopped moving and are simply standing there, staring at him.
 He takes notice as he moves the weight to the other hand and catches a glimpse of you out of the corner of his eye. You quickly look away but judging by the smirk on his face you know he caught you. He's too distracting, so you decide to finish the rest of your workout on the elliptical, just waiting for him to be done and hoping he'll take you back to the apartment and relieve you of the ache he's created between your legs.
 As you set your pace on the machine, you curse yourself for not bringing headphones. You can only just barely see him out of the corner of your eye, but you hear him as he's laid out doing bench presses. The grunting is going straight to your core and you feel a warmth starting to form in your belly. Now alight with burning need, you step off and go to stand in front of him. If he's not willing to postpone his workout to fuck you silly like you want, then you think you've got the perfect compromise.
 You walk over and stand in front of him, hands on your hips. “Let’s spar."
 "What?” he asks, finishing the set and then sitting up.
 "You heard me. I wanna spar. C'mon. Or are you scared I'm going to kick your ass?" You goad, knowing full well he could squash you like a bug if he actually tried.
 He smiles at you, amused by your trash talk, but hesitates. "I don't know if that's such a good idea…" It seems like he wants doesn't want to risk the chance of hurting you, which you both know he wouldn't let happen, but he's really just trying to fight the urge to fuck you. He's been struggling since he saw you saunter out in your tight workout clothes this morning. If you were to spar, he knows being that close to you would make him lose what little control he's clinging to.
 "C’mon, I just want to give it a try. I promise, I'll go easy on you," you joke.
“Okay," he chuckles, "but nothing too crazy. Just some basic grappling stuff." He rises off the bench, and lets his eyes roam your body. He curses himself for it as he feels himself growing hard. His eyes stay glued to your ass as he follows you to the mat in the middle of the room.
 He verbally walks you through a few maneuvers and you pick one to try. He gets into position behind you and holds you up against him, and you're supposed to duck out of his grasp. You attempt the move, and fail, so he pulls you back into him to try it again. You get into position, gripping his arm, and wait for him to give you the go ahead. He leans down to speak softly into your ear. "Good, just like that. Now try it again, but just a little faster."
 His words send a tingle across your skin and your grip on him loosens. With your guard effectively down, he spins you around and sweeps your feet out from under you. You let out a squeak and feel brace yourself, but he grabs you before you hit the mat and lowers you to the ground. You notice he now has you completely trapped under him. He holds your arms to your sides and uses his leg to pin one of your own down. He leaves one leg free, and you plant it on the ground, attempting to push yourself out of his hold, but it's useless. You let out a frustrated sigh.
 "Ready to give up?" he taunts, eyes gleaming with mischief.
 "It's not fair. I'm at a disadvantage," you whine, still attempting to free yourself from his grasp.
 "And why is that?" he questions. There are a million reasons you're at a disadvantage going up against him, but your answer is not one he is expecting.
 "My pants," you state plainly.
 "Your…pants,” he echoes, amused, but waiting for clarification.
 "They’re too restrictive. I don't have full range of motion." You wriggle under him and his eyes fall to your shorts. He admires the way the taught fabric hugs your thighs.
 “Hmm. Well, we wouldn't want this to be an unfair fight, would we?” He leans back and grabs the top of your pants and frees you from their confines. He sits back on his haunches and tosses the clothing side. Then, with as much force as you can muster up, you use your feet to push against his hips, effectively knocking him off balance. He topples over and his back hits the mat with a light thud. He's quite impressed, but before he can sit up and praise you, you crawl over to him and straddle his hips.
 "Nice move," he comments, and looks down to see you resting on his bulge and he can feel the wet heat of your core through his shorts. "Thanks. I learned from the best, " you say with a wink and begin grinding on him, causing the fabric to drag along your folds. You quicken the motion as you feel him twitch beneath you.
 After a few moments, you turn the other way and attempt to rid him of his shorts, giving him a glimpse of your bare ass in the process. The second you finish taking them off, he's pulling you back to hover over his face. You steady yourself and go to scold him for taking back control, but before you can say anything he pulls you down onto his face. Your eyes squeeze shut, and you gasp as he begins exploring you thoroughly with his tongue. You shiver at the warmth of his mouth against you.
 When your eyes finally flutter open, you catch a glimpse of his tip dripping with anticipation, begging to be touched. You lean down, grip his thighs, and begin gliding your tongue over his length. He grunts and you feel the sound reverberate over your clit.
 You want to feel it again, so you take him into your mouth and start sucking his head. He bucks his hips, pushing himself to the back of your throat. He lets out a long groan this time and you pull him in deeper. You gag a little and he grips your thighs tight as your throat constricts around him. You feel his heavy breathing grazing your skin as he laps you up feverishly.
 With your own pleasure building rapidly, you pull your mouth off of him and begin stroking him while letting out a steady stream of moans. You can tell you're getting close. Miguel can too, so he sloppily sucks at your clit, then rolls it gently between his teeth. This proves to be too much for you, and you grip him at the base as your orgasm washes over you. As the pleasure rolls through your body, you clench around nothing and realize how empty you feel without him inside you. He nips at your thighs as you come down and you give him a few sloppy strokes before sitting up, desperate to feel him fill you up.
 You start to crawl down his body, but he quickly pulls you backwards. You land with your back to him, and he secures you in place with his arm across your chest. He spreads your legs, holding them open with his own, and uses his free hand to begin rubbing himself against you.
 "I wanted to ride you," you pout, and angle your hips so that his tip catches on your clit as he slides back and forth against you.
 "By all means, go ahead and try." You attempt to wiggle free but it's futile. "Guess we're doing it my way," He enters you slowly, gliding in with no resistance. You both let out a low moan.
 "You take me so well," he praises. You sigh as he bottoms. He places kisses all up your neck while giving you a few seconds to adjust. His free hand settles on your hip, and you expect him to start thrusting into you, but he surprises you when he flips the both of you over.
 He cages you in against the floor and grinds into you, slowly but deeply. He has you whimpering into the mat, needing him to go faster. But you know he loves to torture you like this, intentionally setting a pace that has you writhing and begging for more, while keeping your climax just out of reach.  You crane your neck to try and get a good look at him, but he has his face buried in your neck. You tug on his hair to get his attention.
 "Let me see you," you whine.  When he lifts his head, he's enthralled by the sight of you, lips bitten and eyes wide. He crashes his mouth into yours and glides his tongue over yours, hungrily, before pulling away and flipping you over. He grabs one wrist in each hand and anchors them to the floor above your head.
 Desire flares in you as his eyes meet yours, staring back at you with such fervent need. He brings his face closer, and your noses brush as he stares deep into your eyes. Then without warning he's back inside you and begins fucking you with much more momentum than before. You wrap your legs around his hips and the new angle has his length reaching so deep you swear you can feel it in your stomach.
 "Oh fuck, just like that," you say, breathily. Your ankles dig into his lower back, pulling him even deeper, causing his tip to find the exact spot that sends jolts of pleasure straight to your core. Your mouth falls open in a silent scream as he stretches you. His grip on your wrists loosens and his eyes fall shut as he gets caught up the feeling of your silky walls hugging him. As you contract around him again and again, he drops his head.
 You now have a good view of his exposed neck and can see the sweat glistening on his skin. Your mouth starts to water at the sight, and you place a few sloppy kisses up the slope of his neck before dragging your tongue along the skin to get a taste. You feel his hips falter and he relaxes his grip on you. You take this moment of weakness to muster up as much strength as you can and roll him over until you're straddling him.
 He grunts as his head comes to rest on the floor. He moves his hands to your hips to attempt to regain control, but you grab them and put them above his head, mirroring the position he had you in just moments ago. "Who knew a few kisses to the neck is all it takes to overpower you," you tease. You begin to grind on him nice and slow, your walls dragging along his length. He moans and his lips buck under you.
 "Come on. Please," he implores, voice dripping with want.
 "Lucky for you, it's leg day." You plant your feet on the floor and begin to ride him in earnest, and his breath quickens. As you bounce faster and faster, he squirms underneath you, so much so that his wrists come free from your grasp. You place your hands on his chest to hold him down that way instead.
 Your palms travel the broad expanse of his chest and find it increasingly harder to stay steady as the pressure inside you builds. He senses you're struggling a bit, so he grabs your hips to help guide you up and down on his cock.
 Soon your whole body is thrumming with pleasure and, no longer able to hold yourself up, you collapse on his chest. Not wanting you to lose your momentum, he quickly begins thrusting up into you. He wraps his arms around you to pull you down onto him. Within seconds he has you crying out as you tumble over the edge. You bury your face in his chest and plant light kisses across his soft skin as you ride out your high. He fucks you through it, but you're so wet he eventually slips right out of you.
 You're still buzzing from you last orgasm, but he is desperate to feel your warmth again. He rolls you over into your side, then spots the mirror that panels the wall. He sits up and pulls you into his arms with your back pressed to his chest. He holds you tight to him, arm across your chest like a seat belt and the other across your waist.
 He gets up onto his knees and his eyes meet yours in the mirror. Anticipation pulses through you as his arm momentarily leaves your waist to line himself up with your entrance. Raw with need, he slides in and returns his arm to your waist and begins pulling you down onto him in tandem with his thrusts. If it weren't for his tight grip on you, you would have toppled over.
 Your breathing comes out in short, sharp pants and you look up to see the two of you in the mirror. His body is completely engulfing yours.  Not only are his arms around you, but your thighs are enclosed by his and they're pressing yours together. It makes you feel even tighter and Miguel grunts into your neck, and he can feel himself creeping closer to his own release.
 He lifts his head to kiss up the side of your face, then meets your gaze. It'd be apparent to anyone who could see the two of you like this that he has the upper hand. You can barely move except to angle your hips to take every forceful thrust. But you both know you have just as much control over him and his pleasure as he does you. It's evident in the way he squeezes his eyes shut and his hips stutter every time you walls grip him tight, and the way he has to do everything in his power not to cum as he hears those heavenly noises pouring from your mouth.
 He has to keep himself from cumming, determined to pull one more from you before he finally gives in. Your eyes flutter shut, and you attempt to reach up to run your fingers through his hair, your other hand hanging onto his forearm. Your nails dig into his skin, and he lets out a soft growl at the delicious burn.
 He dips his head down to nip at your ear. "Touch yourself," he commands, and you go to look at him over your shoulder, but he grabs your chin to angle your face to meet his in the mirror.
 "C'mon. I want you to see how fucking good you look when you touch with yourself.  I know your clit must be throbbing, don't you think it deserves a little attention?" The grovel in his voice and his measured thrusts have your mind a little hazy, so you don't move right away. Before your hand can catch up with your brain, he grabs your wrist and shoves it between your thighs for you. He stills his hips and pulls your legs apart so he can get a good look at your spread folds in the mirror.
 "Mmm. It's so swollen, just begging to be played with. Go on, play with that pretty pussy."  He gently glides your hand over your exposed nub, then pulls away you start moving on your own. "Look at you, getting yourself off while I'm inside you. Dirty little thing.”
 You do your best to nod in response. "You make me feel so full," you moan out as you swipe back and forth over your clit.
 He involuntarily bucks his hips, pushing himself deeper into you. He curses under his breath, and you lay your head back and look up at him. “You gonna fuck me?” You question while simultaneously rolling your hips, and he sucks in a sharp breath.
 “Or am I going to have to finish the job myself?” You feign a pout, and he leans down, pulling your bottom lip between his teeth.
 Your words spur him on, and he starts moving again. He's giving you slow, hard thrusts and you squeak as each one hits deeper and deeper. He notices your hand speed up and he fucks you faster to match the pace. The feeling of him filling you up, the soft squelch each time he bottoms out and his ragged breathing grazing your skin is all you can focus on, and he sees your wrist go limp. He's quick to replace your hand with his own. His fingers swirl in fast, tight circles around your clit and you let out what sounds like a sob.
 The sensation is too much, and you go rigid in his arms, white hot pleasure shooting across your body. He sees your eyes roll back as you gush around him, and whispers sweet nothings into your ear. You don't even register what he's saying and eventually go limp in his arms. He can still feel you fluttering around him, and he lets out a deep, guttural moan and releases inside you.
 He gently sets you down onto the mat and collapses beside you, thoroughly drained. As you're attempting to catch your breath, he pulls you up into his side and you rest your head onto his chest.
 "If I knew working out could be this fun, I'd come with you every day," you jest, although you'd be more than willing to add this to your routine.
 “So, same time tomorrow then?” He asks with a smile.
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hermetiqa · 3 months ago
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What study habits will help you this school year?
Reminder: it doesn't matter if you saw this reading a day or a week or a month or a year after posting this. My readings are timeless. You'll see this when you're meant to see this and receive your message.
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Close your eyes and take a deep breath before picking a pile. If you feel drawn to more than one pile, it's alright, you may take the piles that you're drawn to. What's important is to take it how it resonates and leave what doesn't.
PAID READINGS | TIP JAR | FEEDBACK | MASTERLIST
PLEASE HELP IF YOU CAN
NOTE: Please feel free to give me a feedback on my asks about the reading! I would highly appreciate it and it'll be a huge help for me to improve as a reader.
Pile 1
The study habits that will help you this year are the ones that will keep you engaged in your lessons and courses/subjects. Something that keeps your mind active and keeps you interested in learning. Be curious about what you're learning. Take studying as something positive and don't take it as a responsibility. Have the mindset that you're privileged enough to study and learn these stuff. Be in a state of wanting to learn, not needing to learn. Also, leave your "failures" behind, such as low grades or not being able to get a perfect score on your exam. Instead, focus on what you lacked that caused that result.
Study techniques:
Make flash cards
Use white boards (the bigger, the better)
Act like a teacher, pretend that you're teaching
Similar to the previous one, you can also pretend that you're reporting the lesson in class
Make mind maps with only your knowledge and check what you missed after
Pile 2
I'm getting a lot of energy here from you, Pile 2. First of all, STOP CRAMMING. You might have survived the last school year by cramming but it won't help you anymore, especially this time. You need to study in advance especially when you know you have exams coming up. Stop studying the night before the day of the exam. Also, leave the past behind. Let go of your "friends" who distract you from studying and just want to go out to parties. Change your routine. Your previous routine could be a success for you but it drains you. Find some balance between studying and leisure.
Study techniques:
Study with your friends together
Put notes on your walls so you can look at them anytime and you'll learn them naturally
If you exercise and you happen to have a treadmill, put notes on the wall in front of you so you can read as you exercise (walking or jogging)
Similarly, you can record yourself reading your notes and listen to your record while jogging outside or exercising
Read your notes outloud
Pile 3
So here's the studious pile. I'm seeing that you tend to study hard, not study smart. And that's your mistake. You should study smart, not study hard. Stop memorizing and start understanding your lessons more. Stop rewriting your notes over and over until you reach your desired perfection of your notes, the "aesthetic" that you want. Instead, do your best to write well when you're taking notes in class. That way, you won't have to rewrite them at home. When reading your notes, it's best for you to use different colors of highlighters. Also when someone offers you some help in a lesson that you struggle with, accept it, even if you only struggle a little. Lastly, enjoy learning! Don't stress yourself too much about it and overthink you'll fail.
Study techniques:
Don't stay up all night to study and wake up early in the morning to review, especially to recall what you've already studied
Never ever cram and always finish the easiest tasks first
Drink coffee when studying (only if you don't have health issues or you weren't advised that you should avoid coffee)
Keep on rereading your notes and rewrite what you remember, then keep track of what you tend to forget
Make tests for yourself or look for tests online
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elitadream · 2 months ago
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Hi guys~! ⛅👋
Long time no see! Much longer than I ever intended, in fact. Truth be told, I wanted to make a public post sooner, but I've had a lot to catch up on in terms of notifications and messages since logging back in a few days ago. I've also made some changes that I will address shortly, but first of all I wanted to thank those of you who have reached out with so much care and understanding during my absence. Adjusting has been a slow and fragile process for me -still is-, and I sadly haven't responded directly to everyone yet because of it, but I wanted to say how much I appreciate your patience and support nonetheless. 🥹 🙏
Long story short, I was gone for five months due to a huge burnout, then progressively found my spark again somewhere along the way and have since mostly recovered. It was my wonderful friend @drones-of-innocence who reached out to me outside of Tumblr, and her sense of initiative is largely the reason why I managed to make this post in a somewhat reasonable delay. 😅💖 With that said however, I must also mention that I've deleted a lot of stuff from my page and have removed most of my work from the public eye as well. This may seem quite drastic and frankly a little unsettling, but I assure you that it was a thoroughly considered and reasoned decision! The thing is that I was still getting lots of notes on these drawings everyday and… To put it simply, I didn't want that anymore. 🙇‍♀️ Experiencing popularity was very detrimental to me in the long run and I needed to put an end to it for the sake of my own wellbeing; at least for now.
Which brings me to my next point.
After mulling it over for a while, I've decided that I would not be returning as an active creator in the Mario community this time around. 👐 Making fanart for this franchise (with such a high and continuously maintained degree of involvement) had a lot to do with my health's decline and I've come to realize that I wanted to direct my focus elsewhere going forward. For that reason, there are things which I know will never be repeated again in the future, both in regards to my art and online presence in general, but that's alright. Things change, as they do and should. I'm looking forward to reuniting with folks and would be very happy to stay in touch with those of you who wish to message me privately. Like my lovely pal @istadris said, what matters most about any fandom are the friends you make in it. ☺️
And speaking of which-
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@ody-and-fanatu That's so sweet of you, thank you! 💗 I'm glad you've enjoyed my contribution to the fandom. It was fun while it lasted! 💫 My visual ideas may be gone from my page, but most of my written posts and replies are still there for anyone who wants to revisit those at least, so there's that! And I'd also like to answer some of the asks I still have in my inbox at some point. Knowing that you hold my art in such high regard makes really happy! 🥰 Unfortunately, the other account that I have is reserved for my professional work and I prefer to keep them separate from one other, but the good thing is that I intend to go back to this blog occasionally. Hoping to see you around! Cheers! 🥂
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@heiressofdoodles Thanks, I appreciate that! ✨ I'm honestly doing much better than I was earlier this Spring. Back then, I was running on empty and on the verge of crashing without even knowing it. Being in constant physical pain was one thing, but feeling mentally and emotionally drained on a daily basis was another entirely, and something had to be done. It took me a moment to really figure out what was wrong, but thankfully I realized very quickly what was causing it and applied the breaks with all my might. One of my main priorities now is to be more alert and respect my own boundaries to make sure that this never happens again. 🥲
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@keakruiser Thank you. 🙏💐 I'm just glad to have found my footing again. Feels good to be able to create freely.^^ Hope you're doing well too!
Special thanks also to @pianokantzart, @jelly-fish-wishes, @katlyntheartist, @triniji and @wahooitsamee for their kind words. 🫂 Your graciousness and consideration means a lot to me. 💝
As for all the nice people who sent me anon comments and well wishes, I tried to summarize my thoughts as best I could in this update, but if there's anything else you'd like to say or know, don't hesitate to ask me anytime! Now that I feel like myself again, I think I'm gonna hang out on Tumblr for a little bit. I'll be excited to see what you guys have been up to in the meantime! 🤗 Wishing you all a very good day and pleasant Fall. 🍂
-elita 🌸
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gay-dorito-dust · 1 year ago
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Hii! Could you do a mizu w reader where one is injured (doesn't really matter which one haha) and it's like a hurt/ comfort?
Take your time and get some rest!!
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Write this when I was on the verge of falling asleep, so if any of it sounds like it was coming out of my ass, it was. 🦦
‘Why did you do it?’ Mizu asked, choosing not to look at you but instead focus on your injuried chest with a hard glare.
‘Do what? Protect you from that smiley coward who was about to use unethical means to completely blindside you?’ You replied as though the answer wasn’t already glaringly obvious, you honestly didn’t understand why you had to explain your reasonings as for protecting Mizu and putting your life at risk, but if it meant showing them that someone did give a shit about whether they’d live or die; then you’d happily be that person for Mizu.
‘You had no need to protect me, I could’ve-‘
‘Easily defend yourself, I know Mizu.’ You interrupted them before grabbing ahold of their hand, memorising the feeling of callousness to memory, as you rubbed your thumb against the back of their hand reassuringly. ‘I know how strong and powerful and amazing you are. I’ve witnessed your fighting spirit first hand and it took my breath away. Literally because when we first met you knocked the wind out of my lungs with the butt of your sword, all because you thought I was some stranger about to attack you.’ You finished recounting the tale of how you first encountered Mizu with a small smile. Why? Maybe it was your way to direct their mind to a more happier and healthier memory, rather then have it stuck heavily focusing on the one where they had their back exposed to the enemy; the reason you now had a massive gash running across your chest. A gash that would surly become a permanent part of your body but also a painful reminder to Mizu.
A reminder that you could’ve been easily taken away from them.
A reminder that you’d always selflessly put them before yourself, even if that meant getting hurt, maimed, loosing a limb or worse yet; your life.
A reminder that they’ll have to get stronger if they wish to prevent you from doing so in the nearby future. Mizu knew that their revenge took presidency over everything else, even their own health, but they don’t want you to ruin yourself beyond recognition for them; It just didn’t feel right to Mizu to have you be the barrier between them and the ill intentions of other people. They were strong enough to deal with it but as it’s been made clear countless times before, you didn’t give two shits about that, and instead focused all your time and effort into showing them that they matter so much to you; Which is an admirable and respectable trait to have in Mizu’s eyes.
However that did little to quell the unease they felt upon witnessing your body drop at their feet in what felt like slow motion, just as the first sighting of blood that began to pool beneath you in such quick succession, that at one point Mizu genuinely thought they were too late to save you, this was proven especially more true when you didn’t awaken within the first couple of days after Mizu had stitched and then later covered your wound; all in due to the amount of blood you had already lost. So the feeling of being able to properly breathe again upon seeing you wake up made the uneasy feeling that little bit more bearable for Mizu.
‘While it’s appreciated to know that I can fully count on you to have my back in the heat of battle, it is not a necessity.’ Mizu states, bring the conversation back to where it was needed most, causing you to frown. ‘I should’ve known better than to think that he would honour me with a fair fight. I should’ve known that he’d play dirty the moment he realised the odds were stacked against him.’ Mizu adds, clenching their fists into the seams of their clothing, jaw clenched and their eyes become an unforgiving steel blue; all signs of their underlying rage toward themself and the cowardly man.
‘You didn’t know and that’s perfectly fine.’ You grunt as you slowly sat yourself up with Mizu’s hands supporting your endeavour whilst being mindful as to not reopen your wound. ‘It’s normal to not foresee things before they happen, otherwise it wouldn’t be considered an authentic human experience.’ You let out a little chuckle, all the while Mizu was left to sit there and narrow their brows at what you could’ve possibly thought was so humorous. ‘And to live an authentic human experience is to accept that you have limitations, especially during the moments where you wished you didn’t have any at all.’ You said as you looked into Mizu’s eyes hoping that your words were somewhat getting through to them.
‘We always question ourselves on how we didn’t see it coming, or how we didn’t see the signs but what we’re not taking into account is that we’re human. Not super powered beings of mythical origins nor gods but just plain old humans. We don’t get the luxuries that they do, however if there’s one thing we can pride ourselves in having, it’s how we take these moments to heart and learn from them going forwards.’ You smiled softly, seeing the sea of emotions within Mizu’s eyes. ‘Another thing we can pride ourselves on is our resilience and our willpower to continue paving the way forward. We get hurt but we always get back up because that’s the indomitable human spirit. That’s what we do.’
‘Where are you getting with this and what does it have to do with me allowing you in getting hurt?’ Mizu asked, curious and a little restless as to what this was all meant to mean. ‘The moral of this for you to not beat yourself up over being human for being human is all we’ll ever know how to be until our final breath.’ You explained, lifting their clenched hand within yours to press a kiss to the back of it, before placing it back onto their lap. ‘Instead of focusing on what has already come to pas, how about bringing your attention to the fact that I’m still here and I’m still breathing. Yeah?’ Mizu stayed quiet for a while, allowing for your words to sit with them as Mizu thought long and hard before finally reaching to a conclusion.
‘Only on the pretences that I get to teach you in the basics of defence.’ Mizu said. ‘As a precaution.’ They add.
‘As long as you don’t go hard on me.’ You chuckled, already visualising it.
Mizu gave you an almost missable smirk. ‘No promises.’
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saphronethaleph · 5 months ago
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Sibling Comparisons
Leia rose from her bed, confused, as the door hissed open.
Something seemed off about the situation, she could feel it. But she didn’t want to tip her hand – and a moment’s thought turned up an answer.
“Aren’t you a little short for a stormtrooper?” she asked, thinking about minimum-height requirements that had been instituted in the days of transition from the clone army and never been rescinded.
“What?” the ‘trooper replied. “Oh, the uniform.”
He took off his helmet. “My name’s Luke Skywalker, I’m here to rescue you.”
Leia did a double-take.
“What is Kenobi thinking?” she asked. “He brought my brother here?”
Luke practically fell over.
“Brother!?” he asked. “But – you’re a princess-”
“Yes, yes, excellent cover identity, sheer audacity,” Leia replied. “Nobody would suspect the Senator for Alderaan, and if you’re going by Skywalker then the same idea must be in play for you. Where’s Kenobi? Is he going by Ben or Obi-Wan these days?”
“We were coming to Alderaan,” Luke said. “Ben’s off shutting down the tractor beam so we can leave – look, what do you mean, brother?”
“We can talk about that later,” Leia replied, striding past her brother to the door of the cell. “What’s your exfiltration plan?”
“My what?” Luke asked. “...we’ve got your R2 unit?”
“Hey, farmboy!” a voice called from up the detention block corridor, accompanied by the sound of blasters firing. “We’ve got company!”
Leia sighed. “Where’s R2-D2?” she asked. “He should be able to get us out of this.”
“About… what, ten floors above us?” Luke guessed, then a wookiee joined them along with someone else in stormtrooper armour.
“We’re not getting out that way,” the man said.
“I don’t suppose you brought a spare blaster for me?” Leia asked. “Is there another way out?”
“Let me check with Threepio,” Luke said, reaching for his comlink. “Seriously? You’re my sister?”
“Right now I’m mostly hoping I’m better at planning than you,” Leia shot back, as blaster bolts flashed down the corridor.
“...well, that worked, eventually,” Leia muttered, brushing herself off as they exited the trash compactor. “Which is a marked improvement on your way of getting us out of here, I have to point out.”
“I’m still waiting on an explanation,” Luke protested. “How can you be my sister?”
“What, you want me to draw a diagram?” Han asked.
Chewbacca roared something.
“Hey, he’s from Tatooine, it’s not an animal farm,” Han protested. “He might just not know.”
“That’s not what I mean!” Luke objected, flushing.
“We’re twins,” Leia replied. “Both of us were put into hiding because being known descendants of Anakin Skywalker is a serious health hazard, beyond just being Skywalkers which is separate… how much training did Ben give you?”
“A few hours,” Luke replied. “On the flight to Alderaan.”
“What was he doing with his time?” Leia asked. “My tutor is literally a state secret without any hands-”
She stopped, swallowing.
“Was, now,” she said, before shaking herself. “Anyway, I could only learn from him while on break on Alderaan and I still got a lot more training than that…”
Han made a curious noise.
“What are you talking about, exactly?” he said. “More of this force nonsense?”
“Where did you dig him up?” Leia asked her brother, with a sardonic eyebrow. “He looks old enough to remember the Clone Wars.”
Chewbacca sniggered.
“Laugh it up,” Han countered. “The Clone Wars weren’t that long ago.”
“That’s my point,” Leia replied, sharply. “The Clone Wars had the Jedi literally leading armies-”
She shook herself. “Okay, we need to focus. How exactly did you plan to get off this thing?”
“Once the tractor beam is down, we’ll be able to just fly right out of here,” Luke volunteered. “Han’s ship is more than it looks – which isn’t hard.”
“Hey!” Han protested.
“Well, if you’ve got Chewbacca with you, that’s a good sign at least,” Leia said, then held up her hand. “Wait – not this way, that way.”
“Based on what?” Han asked.
“That thing you don’t believe in,” Leia replied. “Master Windu couldn’t teach me to fight but he could teach me to avoid trouble…”
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iateyourparents · 7 months ago
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Not sure if you write for Harry Styles but what if r met h in high school and they were dating but after graduation they parted they ways and yhen few years later she meets him and they start again and she gets to know that some of his songs are abt her?
I love your writing for S&C!!!
Adore you | h.s.
pairing: harry styles x fem!reader
summary: you run into harry after years of not seeing him.
warnings: use of y/n, bad writing and grammar(i’m sorry but english isn’t my first language)
an: so it’s my first time writing for harry but i absolutely adore this man with my whole heart so i gladly wrote this! thank you sm, hope you like it <33
pictures are from pinterest :)
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If someone told you that your ex would end up as a worldwide famous singer, you would believe them in a second.
Harry always had a thing for singing and he was really good at it so when he told you he wanted to audition for xfactor you were all in to support him.
He succeeded, like you knew he would, and was put in a band with four other boys. That was when your ways parted. He started writing songs, making album and had few little gigs to make their band known. And you wanted to focus on school, on your future.
As much as you both wanted to make it and keep your relationship alive, you knew it would be naive to hope for it. He was about to be famous and travel the world and you wanted to study and make a mark with your name in the world of medicine.
So you parted your ways and you haven’t heard of Harry or One Direction for some time, until two years later when they started becoming one of the bigger bands in the music industry.
He achieved it. You always knew he was made to be someone. He deserved to be someone.
He was kind, selfless and practically wore his heart on his sleeve. If someone was a good celebrity material, it was him.
Sometimes, you found yourself following his career, cheering on him and wishing him all the best.
Years were passing, One Direction went on a break that was lasting longer than they promised and all of the boys started to make their own history.
Harry just released his third own album and you couldn’t be happier for him, although you didn’t follow him as much as you used to.
Actually, you practically didn’t follow him at all. All you knew was what you heard on radio on your way from work to home.
You were achieving your goals too. You became a doctor, a good one, known in whole UK. You were young but you already did more than some older doctors.
Your name was well known in medical world and you couldn’t be happier with how your career worked out.
Although, sometimes you wished you chose some other life path.
For example, you wished it right now while looking at two teenagers sitting on a hospital bed. They were glued to themselves and it wouldn’t be a problem if they weren’t glued with an actual glue. To make it worse, it was really old glue and it was causing health problems for both of the teenagers and one was about to pass out from all the coughing.
“Alright, we need to make sure that all their organs are okay, Marcus’ father said he saw them eating that glue.” you grimaced “Run all the tests and draw blood from both of them.” you ordered your interns who quickly went to patients.
Few hours later you were finally able to go home and you couldn’t wait to finally take a warm shower and change scrubs to comfortable pajama.
But first, you had to go grocery shopping. You were thinking about going home first to change but you knew if you get to home you wouldn’t be able to get out of bed again.
So now you were in the grocery store looking at all the cereal searching for your favorite ones. You finally noticed them but they were in completely other place. Usually, they were on a second shelf and now they were all the way up on the highest one. One that was too high for you to reach.
But you tried anyway. And you failed.
You heard a deep chuckle behind you and then a male voice “Need any help?”
You turned around with bright smile “Yes, please.”
Man, who looked weirdly familiar to you, reached a cereal cartoon without any struggle and handed it to you with a smile.
“Here.” you took the cartoon while he was looking at your face “Do I know you? You look familiar.” he stated and you searched his face to see something that would give you a clue who he was.
Then it hit you.
“Harry?” the man nodded “Oh my god, you changed so much.”
Man furrowed his brows and suddenly his eyes widened “Y/n?” you nodded with small smile “Oh god, it’s good to see you.” he hugged you.
“Visiting family?” you asked and he nodded “How’s famous life treating you?”
“Good, I just published my newest album.” he looked proud of himself and it was really adorable.
“I heard.” you nodded with a smile “Congratulations.”
“Thank you. Did you hear any songs?” he asked unsure.
“No, sorry. I don’t really have time for music. My life last few days looked like sleep, work, sleep, work, shopping, sleep and work.” you laughed and he smiled with amusement.
“Sounds like you, always so ambitious.” he looked over you “So how’s being a well known surgeon? I heard amazing things about you.”
“It’s… certainly something.” you nodded slowly “I love my work but some things I see… Damn.” you shrugged and he laughed.
“I’m happy you’re good, I thought of you few days ago.” Harry stated and you raised your brow.
“Mr. Famous thought about me? How flattering.” you teased and he chuckled “I have to go home, my bed is calling but we should meet someday when you will be in town.” you offered and he nodded vigorously with a grin.
“I’m staying for a few weeks at my mum’s, we can arrange something. We definitely should catch up. Here, give me your number.” he handed you his phone and you added your contact.
“Well then, see you around Harry. And thanks for your help.” you flashed him with a smile which he returned and you went to a cash station.
Next day you got a text from an unknown number which turned out to be Harry’s number. He asked when you had time to meet.
Finally, you both decided to meet on a Saturday. To make it funnier, Harry offered to meet at the coffee shop that you often visited while being together.
On a Saturday you felt nervous. You didn’t see him for a long time and you weren’t sure how it would turn out, if you even will be able to maintain an interesing conversation without it being awkward.
But here you were, sitting in front of Harry, drinking tea and eating delicious muffins while talking and laughing about old times.
“I never thought that the audition would turn out this well.” he admitted with small smile.
“I knew it would.” you stated “You’re too good to not be noticed, although your hey sister was terrible.” you snickered and he smiled amused.
“I was nervous!” he huffed “If it wasn’t for you I’m not sure if I would actually get on that stage, you were my lucky charm.”
You looked at him with a touched smile “I was cheering for you even when we weren’t talking anymore.” you admitted “I always knew you would be someone important and look at you, you’re saving teenagers’ lives and make great music.”
You could see faint blush on his cheeks and the bashful smile was just cute.
“Well, I guess I wouldn’t be where I’m if not your cheering.” he chuckled “I only regret that our ways parted. I wish we maintained contact. I missed you.”
“I missed you too Harry.” you said hoping you didn’t blush “But at least we’re here now and it feels good.”
“Yeah it does.” he agreed with a smile that made your heart race. You knew that smile, he was sending it your ways on daily basis when you were together. It was this cute smirk with dreamy eyes and it just made you feel weak in knees.
Apparently some things never change, because it made you feel just the same as years ago.
And you’re not sure how it happened but next morning you woke up with Harry’s bare chest as your pillow.
But you weren’t complaining.
“Seriously?” you laughed while making breakfast with Harry. He was talking about the time when he was in One Direction “I always thought that it was just a song about good song.”
“Well, most of ours song had hidden dirty meaning.” he laughed too.
“What about your songs? Any dirty meanings?” you teased and he blushed.
Your morning together turned to spending whole day together.
“You can stay for the night.” you offered when he said he should get going.
“I don’t want to bother you.” he giggled.
“You’re not bothering, I like having you here.” you admitted and you were praying to not blush when he smirked at you.
“Good to know. I will gladly stay if you’re sure.” he said “But let me know if you will be sick of me.”
“That wouldn’t be possible.” you rolled your eyes hitting his chest with your hand which he catched and squeezed in his bigger one “You’re the sweetest person alive, you would have to kill my dog to make me hate you.”
“Sure.” now he rolled his eyes “You have a dog?”
“No.” you pouted “I wish but I’m rarely home and I wouldn’t want to leave a dog alone.” you explained and he nodded in understanding “What about you? Any pets?”
“Not really, I’m also rarely home when touring.” he shrugged.
And somehow this conversation turned into talking about his songs.
“And which ones do you like?” he looked at you with a small smile. You wouldn’t admit it out loud but in last few days his songs were on repeat so you wouldn’t be in dark when he would be talking about his career.
“Hm, I really like Carolina and little freak.” you stated after a moment of thinking. You noticed how Harry moved weirdly after your words “Is there something wrong?” you asked worriedly.
“No no.” he assured you “What do you like about Carolina?” he tilted his head looking curiously at you while still holding your hand.
“I don’t know, I just like it.” you shrugged “Why are you asking?”
“You didn’t notice, did you?” he laughed.
“Notice what?” you smiled with small confusion.
“Carolina, Adore you, Only Angel, Woman?” he furrowed his eyes.
“What about them?”
“God, woman. They are about you.” he huffed with amusement and your eyes widened.
“What?” you were sure you were a blushing mess at the moment.
“Carolina? It’s literally your description, you moved because your grandmother offered you and your parents to, you always had books with you and liked to compare life to books.” he explained “Oh, and you have cousins in Carolina!”
All he said was true and you actually realized it in fact was actually a song about you.
“Why would you wrote about me?” you asked quietly playing with his fingers.
“I was so in love with you. My first ever song that I writed was about you.” he admitted “Only angel. I changed it a bit before releasing it because I was teenager while I wrote and it was a slight disaster but it turned out great.”
“I’m not sure what to say.” you chuckled “Adore you is about me?”
“Yeah, I would go through hell for you.” he stated and you noticed that he didn’t use past tense.
“So am I so kind of inspiration for you?” you teased but he answered completely seriously.
“Yeah, you are big inspiration. Most of my songs have something about you in them even if they aren’t exactly about you.” he admitted bashfully “I was completely head over heels for you. And I think I still adore you.”
And if you were his inspiration for next lovely album that he made as a gift for you for your first anniversary, that’s just a bonus.
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withlovelunette · 1 year ago
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How to construct character psychology!
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– Introduction
Hello hello! :D I’ve been very slow with my writing lately due to uni work (and some unforeseen health issues), but I’d like to still be able to make content and be interactive in the writing community, so I’m here again to share some advice based on my own experiences! One of my favourite things about writing is writing characters, specifically constructing a character’s psychology. I’d like to preface this post by saying that while I’ve had formal classes in psychology, I’m by no means any sort of expert within the field, and I also don’t believe that every aspect of how a character is written needs to be rooted in realism. However, I do want to share some insights that I got from it, and also because I feel like “character psychology” has this very mystified weight to it that makes it seem a lot bigger and intimidating than it needs to be.
So! My goal is just to share some advice on how to break down a character’s psychology and work from there! If you like what you read and would like to read more, I’ve also written a post about creating “complex” characters, which you can find the link to here! Aaand yes I think that’s about all I have to say beforehand, I hope you enjoy :,)
What do I mean when I say psychology?
Before getting into the nitty-gritty, I’d like to start with the basics, just to make sure people are on the same page when reading this post. When I’m talking about psychology here, I’m specifically referring to a character’s cognition, as in how they process information and act on it/make judgments. I’m not necessarily referring to personality in this case (although personality is an aspect of psychology, but I’m more so referring to personality as a consequence of cognition here, rather than as a collage of traits and behaviour).
Another thing I want to clarify is that exactly how much of human behaviour is nurture vs nature is a hotly debated topic that I’m completely under-qualified to take a stance on, but for the sake of this post; I believe both are equally essential aspects of human behaviour, so just keep that in mind! (I’m looking at any behaviourists in the chat rn). That being said; I’m not really comfortable treating psychology as “nature” (as such rhetorics are often used in gender-essentialist and other bigoted ways of thinking), so my main focus will be nurture, since that’s what is most readily observable!
Determining character motivation
If you’re working with very little or bare minimum characterization, my recommendation is to consider; what motivates a person to act? And by this, I’m not referring to the external quest or goal behind the character, but rather, what’s the core of what motivates your character to act at all? Even in grand, epic adventures of good vs evil, where the external goal is as simple as “putting an end to whatever evil the bad guys are doing”, there needs to be a reason a character is specifically on the side that they’re on. Multiple characters can be on the same side, but they might find themselves on that side for vastly different reasons, even when their exterior goals are the same. From there, you’ll want to consider what informs this motivation in particular.
One technique I love to employ, when still figuring out my character, is to have them make some sort of bizarre decision, a decision I’d initially think to be improbable for this particular character, and then try to list off various justifications or variables that would allow for this character to make this particular decision. There’s a couple of reasons for why I do this.
1) It removes some of the pressure to have a perfectly cohesive, perfectly put together and neatly defined character from the get-go. The drafting process isn’t just for plot and story structure’s sake, it’s also there for you to experiment with characters! Having your characters make story altering decisions that possibly challenge or contradict themselves is a great way to make sure that you’re writing active characters as opposed to more passive ones, and I think the first couple of drafts should really be a playground for you to see just how far you can stretch your characters based on their characterisation.
2) It helps me clarify what is and isn’t important in my character’s decision making. I’m a firm believer that most decisions/actions aren’t inherently in or out of character; it just depends on whether or not the readers/viewers can understand the character’s thought process behind their decision, and this ultimately comes down to how well you, as the writer, conveys the character’s priorities when they make decisions. If you’re established that a character acts based on a code of honour, an exterior source to morality and conduct, then the justifications and reasonings they would use to justify murder would likely be very different than a character who acts based on their own convictions. This is also a great way to show character development; by showing how a character’s decisions gradually change as their cognition change as they develop.
3) It allows me to explore nuance and make note of potential contradictions within the character’s way of thinking—which is often the most interesting aspects of a character’s psychology, at least in what I enjoy to write and read. Most real people don’t have perfectly cohesive morals, and most people can’t always act congruently with their morals either, so allow for your characters to make some bizarre decisions! See how far you can stretch their cognition! These decisions don’t have to be canon to the story, but it’s a good way to actually solidify what line of thinking your character makes when faced with difficult and potentially morally indicative choices.
Work your way backwards!
If you already have the overall traits and behavior of your character pinned down, you can always work your way backwards! As a pantser, this is a very common occurrence for me. I have a character with a clear goal and defined characteristics, but they’re completely uninformed so far, as I usually discover the cause of their motivation and characteristics as I write the story. As such, most of my characters don’t have any sort of backstory established until I’m much further into the process, as I discover it as I go along. So here’s some things I look out for in my character writing when creating a backstory after I’ve already established a character.
1) What are some things the character is often drawn towards? Humans are typically very habitual, a lot of us enjoy some sense of familiarity (to varying degrees depending on the person), and taking note of what your character tends to gravitate towards can be a great stepping stone to fleshing out backstory. An example could be a somewhat cold, stoic character who’s incredibly picky with their relationships due to trust issues (pretty common characterization) has a tendency to let their guard down more when around elderly people. Why is that? Maybe they were raised by very old parents, or even grandparents. Maybe it’s a cultural thing to treat elderly with more respect. Maybe it’s a religious thing. Maybe it’s because elderly people have treated them with more kindness in the past, etc. Note that this can be flipped too! Maybe this character feels uneasy around people closer to their own age, or even people who are younger than them.
2) How does your character socialize? The way a character approached social settings can often be very indicative of how they were raised, as that tends to affect how people form attachments (according to attachment theory in psychoanalysis, at least). Are they very sociable? If so, why? Is it because they’re accustomed to being around a lot of people? Maybe they had a very large family, or maybe they had a family that took part in a very active social sphere. Maybe this character just comes off as sociable because they understand the value of social connections. Why’s that? Maybe their family have a political influence, or maybe they have a business they want to sell, etc. Or maybe it’s the complete opposite; maybe this character grew up with little to no family at all, and that’s why they want to make friends and connections. If so, then maybe that affects how they make decisions, leaving them incredibly loyal and somewhat co-dependent. Even the smallest character traits and behaviours can be expanded upon to inform you of how that character was possibly raised, it’s really just about digging into said behaviour!
3) How receptive are they to new experiences or other people’s perspective? This is also somewhat linked to attachment theory, but it doesn’t have to be approached that way! The reason I bring this point up is because I find that a character’s receptiveness is often a good way to gauge their relationship with their parent. For example, a character with very strict, traditionalist parents might adopt that outlook on life because it offers them a sense of stability and security. They weren’t raised to be adaptable or to adjust themselves to new experiences, and thus have a difficult time accepting things outside of their established paradigm. This would suggest that this character likely didn’t rebel much to their parents’ outlooks on things (or if they tried, they failed), since they adopted said outlook for themselves. Another way to write this character (with the same premise) is to have them react in the opposite way; maybe they are super open and receptive because the rigidness of their parents prevented them from ever experiencing anything. Maybe the status quo bored them, or maybe they see their parents as narrow minded. This characterisation suggests that there’s possibly more tension (not necessarily in a negative way) between the character and their parents.
Interplay between morals & behaviour
A character’s morals and behaviour don’t always have to align. Like I mentioned in an earlier point, humans hold a lot of contradictions, and how people cope with those contradictions can vary. However, how do you determine if a contradiction is purposeful rather than a case of out-of-character writing?
Let’s say you have a character who views all animals as sacred, and this is something they were raised with. Suddenly, this character is thrust into a situation in a different world/kingdom/region/etc. where eating animal meat is the only viable food option to survive. They decide to do it, despite their morals directly conflicting with this behaviour.
One way this character might justify this is by thinking “well, my intentions matter most, and my intention was never to hurt animals, so while I feel bad for killing an animal for food, my intentions of doing so respectfully makes this action more acceptable to me.”
But another character in the exact same situation might not be satisfied with such logic. Maybe they see intentions as irrelevant, and only care about the consequences of their actions. If it’s been established beforehand that a character is consequentialist, then this action, paired with the justification above, would feel incredibly out of character, because the logic behind the justification is not intuitive to the reader.
Whether a contradiction feels purposeful or out-of-character ultimately boils down to what information and how much of it you’ve given to the readers, so that they have the information necessary to break down the interplay between the character’s morals and behaviour. 
Using other tools (cognitive functions, socionics, enneagram, etc.)
As I’ve mentioned before on this blog, I’m very interested in various types of typology (mbti probably being the most popular and well known one), and while I consider all forms of typology to fall under pseudo psychology, I often use these tools to help me better understand my own characters better! I personally gravitate towards cognitive functions (which is not the same system as mbti, even though it uses the same letter system) as they help me put into words my character’s cognition, and enneagram, which describes behaviour and motivations that arise from a person’s upbringing and coping mechanisms. There’s other things you can take into consideration as well, like socionics, temperaments, attitudinal psyche, etc!
I’m not suggesting you use these as replacements for developing characters, but they can be great supplements when trying to dig deeper into your character’s psychology! I’d also argue that you get more out of putting these systems into use if you learn about typology and analyse your characters yourself instead of taking a test for them, but I’m also very biased in this regard, since I enjoy analysing my characters myself :,) And there are times where I’ll take a few tests to help solidify my breakdown if I’m having a difficult time labelling my character correctly. Honestly, just have fun with it!!
– Outro
Sorry for yet another lengthy post! And sorry it was a bit later than I’d anticipated, I had a much busier weekend than I thought I’d have, so I kept having to squeeze writing in anytime I had enough spare time to sit down, and then I stumbled across a series of health complications that I’m still trying to sort out. Which, speaking of, thank you so much to everyone who’s been wishing me good luck! I’m still working on figuring out what’s wrong, but I’m making progress!
As usual, my asks and messages are always open, so feel free to shoot me a message about anything! Even if I may be slower with my replies ^^; Thank you for reading! <3
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wo8ngs · 27 days ago
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%﹒IN SICKNESS & IN HEALTH! ( in which a certain mercenary takes care of you while you're sick . ) author's note ⤷ sooo, i'm sick right now, and honeslty, all i want is a bit of comfort while i'm feeling icky ! naturally, that led to me wanting to write about ada being the one to take care of you while you're feeling awful, because why not? plus, i wanted to self - indulge a little bit !
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though ada isn't openly affectionate, there’d be small, almost unnoticed gestures—maybe she'd run a hand through your hair as you’re dozing off or adjust your pillow without saying anything. it’s all about the little moments, those moments of vulnerability you wouldn’t see but moreso feel.
on that note, ada doesn't show worry like most people, but there are rare moments—maybe when she sees you shivering or struggling with a fever—where those walls that she has built up so carefully starts to fall ever so slightly. it’s like it’s fleeting, almost like one of those indistinguishable look of concern that reminds you she cares, even if she doesn’t say it outright.
she wouldn't hover or ask how you're feeling every five minutes. instead, she'd stay nearby, watching over you to ensure you're getting better. more specifically, ada would communicate more with her actions than her words—turning down the lights if you’re resting, leaving a cool cloth by your bedside. anything you needed, she would do for you.
ada would maybe also make you a traditional chinese soup, like silkie chicken soup. she wouldn’t do it as a comforting gesture, but because she knows it’s effective in terms of high nurtient contents and she wants you to recover quickly so she can refocus on her work.
if anyone ever tried to bother you while you were sick—work, calls, or even friends—ada would be quick to shut it down. she would want to make sure you had the peace and quiet you needed to recover from being sick, and would even take it in her own hands to see that nothing disrupts you getting better.
if you tried to brush off your sickness or push yourself too hard, ada would be the one to firmly insist you rest. she wouldn’t let you get very far when it comes to protesting against her wishes. she’d give you one of those stares and say something like, “don’t be stubborn. you need rest,” always with that authoritative tone. and of course, you listen.
she is ada wong, through and through, and sometimes it might seem to disappear for hours, making you wonder where she went. however, she always makes sure she checks in on you from afar, giving you space while ensuring you’re okay. she doesn’t crowd you, but she’s always nearby, just in case.
there may not be a lot of emotional involvement on her part, but she would make sure you were taken care of. her care for you when you’re sick would be subtle, because she wants to make sure she doesn’t draw attention to the fact that she’s taken time from her work. there’s always a sense that she’s holding back, never fully letting you into her world or who she is behind the name.
but don’t be fooled, deep down, ada would feel a slight guilt for not being fully present in the relationship when you’re sick, but her dedication to her work overshadows any personal attachments. she knows she can’t afford to lose focus, so she compartmentalizes, offering you care when she can before slipping back into her own world.
once you do start to recover from your sickness, ada would quickly slip back into her more aloof, composed self. she wouldn't coddle you or prolong the care—once you’re on the mend, it’s back to business as usual, with that expectation that you’ll be able to pull yourself together. but deep down, you’d know that if you got sick again, she'd be there.
© wo8ngs / do not repost, copy, steal, etc., any of my work and claim it as your own.
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