#this is a MESS I'M SORRY

[incorrectjokerout]

Martin:If you bite it and you die,it's poisonous.If it bites you and you die,it's venomous.

Jan:What if it bites me and it dies?

Kris:Then you're poisonous.Jesus Christ,Jan,learn to listen.

Jere:What if it bites itself and I die?

Bojan:That's voodoo.

Nace:What if it bites me and someone else dies?

Martin:That's correlation,not causation.

Jure:What if we bite each other and neither of us die?

Bojan:That's kinky.

Kris:Oh my god.

[quillinhand]

favourite snape hcs go 🎤

Hiiii

this is gonna take a while cuz I've been waiting for someone to ask this question for so long- so sorry for answering this post after a while lol

ok so.

he hates coffee, but marking and juggling all his work means it's often the only thing keeping him awake, and my man, he likes to take his coffee with enough cream and sugar to kill a small child. for energy, of course.

he likes to sleep. will commit murder if someone disturbs him.

actually likes marking. something about shitting on teenagers calm him down.

sometimes, he'll take out his old essays and go thru them with red ink. no teenager is as fun to shit on as yourself. except perhaps potter.

pan ace. am not accepting arguments

had sex for the first in the early days after graduation and initiation into the death eaters. hated it. very much.

loves physical touch and so, naturally, will make it impossible for anyone to touch him

has the weirdest possible relationship with Lucius malfoy but like, we don't talk about that.

(They are as close as you get to fucking/killing each other without actually fucking/killing each other. Knows each others darkest secrets but still would kill the other to keep themselves alive sort of close)

has a similar relationship with voldy shorts except, with our resident evil it's like, not consensual? Sort of? idk . My man's into tall dark and creepy ok? except in Lucius's case it's tall blonde and rich/ridiculous but. we don't talk about that.

Severus fucking Snape didnt become friends with Lily fucking Evans cuz she was pretty. nope. Twas cuz ma girl was powerful as heck(like him) and, more importantly, a bitch(like him). You are kidding yourself if ya think their friendship was anything other than that.

his relationship with his parents is a toxic one in that there IS some level of care there, but Tobias is too much of a depressed 30 something man to be a good father and Eileen was too much of a proud hag to be a good mother, and Severus was too much like them to be able to deal with their shit.

a huge part of why he used the mental arts so much was cuz he couldn't handle his emotions easily for the longest time, and would burst at the smallest thing. this was the trait that made him such a good target for bullying. the one trait he could never quite get rid of- just hide, under steel walls and scars that opened far too easily.

after lily died, he occluded to the point of magical exhaustion and ended up collapsing. wrecked his body to the point of him not being able to move for months. this was one of the first, and only things he learned to be kind to himself for, and relaxed with his occlumency shields as much as he could. and then voldy returned, and. well.

he is the Slytherin house's hero. not that he understands why. something about the whole, evil, dark, vampire aesthetic was very appealing ya see.

my man wears heels to look taller. not accepting arguments

his whole outfit was carefully planned. 20s Snape had FUN, I tell you. My man spent YEARS cultivating his whole vibe, from the expressions, to the poetry, to the ROBES- perfection, perfection. have you any idea how much he argued with tailors that, no, he actually didn't give a fuck if the robe he wanted was too tight for pockets. what the actual FUCK do you mean.

the buttons have so much history

his eye colour is actually just. gray, but like my man likes the whole vibe of ✨ obsidian ✨ more so. makes sure to stay around dimly lit areas for maximum effect.

he did actually go to school before hogwarts, but like he couldn't control his magic, so my man would bust the lights and flood the bathrooms and make the chairs hit the teachers he didn't like. The AMOUNT of confounding Eileen had to do to distract the town from their magic- worthy of a book series on its own.

I'm ending cuz this is already so longgg. sorry for answering lateee. ilyy 💜💜💜

[one-flower-one-sword]

finished tgcf vol 8 last night (the main story, I'm still making my way through the extras), and I just... I cried so much T_T

even though I already knew most of what would happen. somehow that actually made it worse, I was full on sobbing at times (well I had also picked music to listen to so that also contributed but still)

I don't have the words to express what tgcf means to me, right now this is my absolute favorite book series I've ever read. and also... hualian... I cannot deal, I cannot deal with them, I've rarely ever had a love story affect me this profoundly

I also cannot overstate what an absolute pillar of support this story was for me this year. I picked up Volume 1 almost exactly one year ago, and from that moment on tgcf was like the lifeboat that got me through a really tough year where I was also sick more often than not (I'm disabled with chronic fatigue)

tgcf vol 1 was also the first book I'd read after ten years where due to various mental illness issues I couldn't read books at all, a crass contrast to how I used to devour them from the moment I was able to read. but then whatever was blocking me, it feels like tgcf just... allowed it to heal. that alone I consider an immense gift that I'm incredibly grateful for, as I had honestly feared I'd never be able to read books again

I'll miss this story so so much, but I'm also just so unspeakably grateful for its existence

also I'm very grateful for all the positive feedback and interaction my little analysis posts have received, I honestly didn't expect that at all when I started posting. I just had so many thoughts while reading and desperately needed to express them, but I thought surely no one else would be all that interested in them. so the attention is completely unexpected but very appreciated, thank you :')

speaking of I'll start posting my vol 8 observations at some point but I'm actually still not done with my vol 6 and 7 thoughts, because the more I read the more things started occurring to me. I also have some fanfic planned because I'm not ready to let this story go, not for a long time and probably not ever 🦋

[thismorningscoffee]

It's been over two years since I got in my car and drove across and around the country by myself for a month and ever since getting back I have been in a major depressive episode that I cannot get out of. I struggled on the trip now and then due to a stupid boy situation before I left, and I regret that I now let it cloud my trip so much, but I am unable to feel happy or excited about anything and I keep having intense urges to just get up and leave and drive to Utah or drive to California again and it's scary sometimes and I don't really know what to do and life just feels really sad and hopeless at times and like I'm never going to be happy again like I was on my own doing what I wanted and exploring like I've wanted to my whole life :')

[thorinds]

1000 Books You May Have Actually Read

[eric-the-disposable-demon]

Uh-

just found out my cousin (who lives in England) is in the art department of a bunch of shows??? And she worked oN DOCTOR WHO? AND HAD LUNCH WITH DAVID TENNANT???? and she just told me so casually because she's interested in the art, not the show? I mean, excuse me? She worked on SHERLOCK???? FOR A WHOLE SEASON?? She worked on Peaky Blinders and Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones??? And probably other things because she has a shitty memory and according to her everything is a blur?? AND AT ONE POINT SHE WAS LIKE: "oh and have you ever heard of Neil Gaiman?" And I was trying not to scream, because yes, of course I've heard of Neil, he's only my favorite author, I've only read like all of his books multiple times, and if you say you worked on Good Omens or the Sandman I'm going to lose it completely. So I said "yeah I've read a couple of his books," -you know, like a liar- "what about him?" and she goes "well I worked on one of his shows and he's brilliant i just can't remember which one" and i go "w-what do you mean he's brilliant? You're.. you're talking about his writing... his writing is brilliant, right?" And she cheerfully says "oh no I don't read books, I ment he was really nice and brilliant when I talked to him" and i go "WHAT DID YOU TALK ABOUT WHAT DID YOU TALK ABOUT" and she thinks for a moment and goes "oh! BRICKS" WHAT IN THE WORLD YES NO THAT MAKES SENSE YOU GET TO WORK AND TALK WITH NEIL FUCKING GAIMAN AND YOU TALK ABOUT BRICKS? NO THAT'S TOTALLY NORMAL I'M NOT MAD ".... it was what I was designing at the time, I needed to know what vibe the bricks should have. Anyway want to see the spinning fireplace I made for doctor who" WHAT THE FUCK.

@neil-gaiman do you remember any brick conversations by any chance

[bashfulfm]

availability : closed ( for @noveaus ) location : trendy la restaurant

when bash was set up on a blind date, he wasn't sure what to expect. of course, that's true with all blind dates. but it's especially true in the world of hollywood. it would be awkward if he got paired up with an ex or someone who hated him. but he was somewhat relieved when it turned out his blind date was raine rivera. they weren't close but they were friendly and bash often talked her out of doing things he thought she might regret. he hoped this date wasn't one of them. he was a little nervous, first date jitters, if you will but that didn't stop him from giving her a hug when he first saw her. "hey! how are you?" he asked. "you look great, by the way."

[artsarasp]

@ace-shenanigans said og!sqh had a religious experience into that last sqh 12/12 achievement comic so I made it into shitpost- Happy return home, original goods!

[jkvjimin]

JIMIN & TAEHYUNG ↳ are you sure?! | episode 3 for @jung-koook ♡

[unknown-cold]

It's painful how Vi screams to express her sad feelings.

Experiencing intense anxiety, intrusive thoughts or flashbacks, in response to screaming, whether real or imagined.

So let's not forget guys that Vi also suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder or related trauma-related conditions.

[parisoonic]

Hello! I don't know if you do requests, but could you draw Medic wearing Heavy's shirt? Maybe in the morning, he's stole it!

I know you probably wanted something soppy but this is what my horrible brain thought of.

[butyouaremymess]

Colin + his (many) love confessions for Penelope

[milkteabinniechan]

Chan who strokes your hair whenever you are near him. Letting your head fall to his shoulder every time.

Chan who grazes your bottom lip with his thumb and stares longingly at your mouth

Chan who's fingers can spread your folds like silk and butter, making you arch your back instantly

Chan who claims you as his with bite marks and hickeys in places everyone can see

Chan who falls apart whenever you wear a skirt because all he can think about is burying his face in your thighs

Chan who licks and flicks your nipples slowly and playfully until your begging for him to fuck you

Chan who slams you into your mattress until you're a sweaty mess

Chan who calls you princess whenever you're covered in his cum

[pocketwei]

A lot of drugs, a lot of shrugs, not a lot of words

[humanmorph]

where's my man eclectic

[ruporas]

feast (ID in alt)