#this image but bass boosted tbh

[remyfire]

Me when any of you make even the tiniest possible reference in tags to wanting BJ and Margaret to kiss after I've written 78% of the BJ/Margaret fics published since 2015

[come-on-shitty-boys]

//haikyuu but i make them idols. captain edition//

Notes: @icyhearts​ got me obsessed with Fallen Flowers.  I’ve actually been listening to it on repeat for like two days now.  So, icy bby, this is for you and thank you for reminding me just how H A R D k-pop hits🤧

Sawamura Daichi

10/10 the leader of the group.  There is no doubt in my mind about this

R A P P E R 🥵🥵

ngl he’s probably the one that i would stan if this were a real au.  i always gravitate towards the rappers without fail.

He doesn’t have the best stage presence, especially compared to the others

But, he’s really good in interviews. Super charismatic, knowing exactly what to say to really boost the groups image.

He’s the member that most people are convinced is super pure and sweet because of how he presents himself in interviews

Then 👀👀 there was the comeback.

It was a darker, more sensual vibe and he did one (1) hip thrust in the MV and all of those soft Daichi stans?  H A R D S T A N S.  honestly that’d be me no cap

But, if he’s ever asked to do it outside of a performance or practice?

He’s actually so embarrassed and it’s really cute.  His face will go bright red and he’d be covering his face with his hands, just shaking his head, like “please don’t make me”

But the rest of the group is egging him on and next thing he knows, Bokuto and Kuroo are right there next to him to do the choreography with him.

Oikawa Tooru

absolute visual king

always has the softest make-up and never fails to look absolutely breath-taking. 

B U T not only is he visually the prettiest-

He has the best voice of the group.  He has this really smooth tenor voice and can hit some really high notes when the music needs it.

Has definitely released a solo album full of really beautiful ballads

Definitely has the most fans. Not only the most but also the most hard-core fans

Like, there are thousands of fanpages just dedicated to him

Millions of fanfictions about him

He’s always doing live streams where he just interacts with the fans and he’ll talk about his day or just answer questions that the fans have.  He’s definitely the most active within the fandom.

Oikawa is one of the songwriters for the group.  He can’t really write the music, but he can string together some really incredibly lyrics.  He has a journal full of song ideas or little snippets of verses that he wants to implement in a song some day.  

Kuroo Tetsurou

He’s another rapper 🥵🥵

But also?? He can sing pretty well too.  His voice is definitely lower than Oikawa’s.  So, probably like a baritone.  Kuroo’s voice adds a really nice mix into the chorus and mixes really well with Oikawa’s.

I smell a sub-group tbh oml they call themselves Knock Out because K.O. 👀

anyway.  Kuroo also has a really large number of fans because he fits the bad boy aesthetic of the group (both visually and how he presents himself in interviews) and that just has the fans f l o c k i n g

but like?? soft kuroo stans?  N O.  hard stans only.

Then they saw some random video that Oikawa posted on the group’s twitter of him playing with a bunch of cats and everyone was just 🥺 soft kuroo hours 🥺

He’s kind of like Daichi.  Kuroo has zero shame when he’s on stage.  He’s willing to aggressively grind and hip thrust as much as the choreo needs him too

akhdfhe HE HAS THE HOTTEST FACIAL EXPRESSIONS WHEN HE DANCES BYE

hahahaha too bad he literally cannot dance

like, he’s not awful or else he wouldn’t even be in the group, but boy has really long limbs and he just struggles to move his legs fast enough.

Catch him in the studio with Bokuto for hours after their long day is over trying to nail the dances

Bokuto Koutarou

he’s a dancer 😌✌

no it is not just because @nekxrizawa​ and I have been drooling over dancer!bo since we met okay yes it is

he’s trained in hip-hop, so you’ll catch him fronting the group in any dance breaks in their super upbeat songs

Bokuto helps write the choreography (do you write choreo? idk i can’t dance) sometimes, but sometimes he forgets that he has more experience in dance than the others and will just casually try to add a backflip into the song and the choreographer has to be like, “bokuto- no.”

insert dejected bokuto here

He’s the most high-energy of the group, so he tends to be a fan-favorite and a host-favorite.  He’s always talking and he goes all out during any variety show games.

Bokuto’s always willing to do extra practice with anyone who wants to meet up before or after their day in the studio.  He understands that some things just don’t come as naturally to other people.

Trades dance lessons for vocal lessons with Kuroo, no lie

He has the best stage presence out of everyone.  He’ll hype up the crowd and you’ll see him bending down to hold hands with the fans when security isn’t looking.

Bokuto doesn’t sing a lot, but when he does, his range aligns with Kuroo’s, so they’ll double every now and again on verses.  

Ushijima Wakatoshi

Surprisingly- vocal line

Ushi has the deepest voice of the group, singing in a bass register that makes all of the fans 🥵🥵 whenever he opens his mouth

The mash-up you get when his voice mixes with Oikawa’s?? heaven.  It’s so beautiful and I can guarantee that management is using their sheer differences for marketing.  

Oikawa may take the lead for more pop-centric songs, but Ushijima is fronting the darker songs which is just hitting everyone different

He’s another song writer for the group, but he focuses on the actual melodies rather than the lyrics, so he and Oikawa collab on songs a lot.

The fanbase sees him a super hard and scary all of the time and they’re all low-key intimidated??

But then they see him in an interview and they’re all like lol nvm because he’s high-key really kind and polite and will do anything if asked tbh

The host wants him to wear a flower crown?  He’s asking which one.  He’s asked to talk about the process for their newest song, and Ushi will ramble on for a good fifteen minutes about his writing process.

He’s really passionate about his music and everyone can tell, so it leads to a lot of the fans seeing him in a new light and gaining a lot more respect for him as a member.

{Taglist: @nicka-nell​ @moncymonce​}

[dariusblake]

Ok, not sure if I told this story yet.

But hearing the Humans are Fae discourse got me thinking about the most WEIRDLY FAE event I have ever witnessed.

So, first year of University is winding down. Exams are all done and I'm still on campus because hey, I've paid my accommodation bill so I may as well stay and party until they kick us all off for summer.

Me and a Friend have just pulled an all nighter for no reason other than why the fuck not. And, as often possess me at dumbfuck hours of the morning, my insomniac reptile brain decides it's time for a walk in the woods. Hey, if your campus has stately gardens backing onto a maze of woodland trails, you would too.

So we're walking. We stick to one of the usual routes. And we're chatting when my ears prick. I hear something. Something loud, muffled by trees. Something... Synth heavy?

So here is were we make mistake number one.

We step off the path.

Eventually we come to a very round clearing. Someone has built a soundstage out of a folding table, ropes and 5 blankets. Strobe lights pulse in time with what sounded like a bass boosted synthwave cover of Toxic. There's a couple of camp fires and about 25 people going absolutely nuts to the beat. I looked at my friend, he looked at me. Back at the clearing. Back at eachother. We wordlessly back out, and continue our walk.

We get where we were actually going, the abandoned watermill. Tbh that was radiating an entirely different kind of energy but that probably constitutes a whole other set of mistakes.

So we're sat in this rusted out pile of gears and cinderblock and I say to him, "Did that... Was I imaging that?" Like, full disclosure, what with exams having just finished I was on like 3 days of minimal sleep and unhealthy levels of caffeine.

He replies with a shrug and a 'Fuck man, idk' expression. "Wanna go back and look?"

"Kinda?"

So we walk back. And sure enough we get close enough and I here... I think it was Vengaboys? Something like that. Very Eurobeat. And there's Strobe lights and and campfires and the smell of cheep booze and weed.

Mistake number Two, we came back.

Mistake number Three, we joined the dance and entered the circle.

Didn't take anything they offered. Partially because my brain was pointing out how bloody Fae this was, but mostly because these guys are Uni students and I don't trust like that.

We stayed til sunrise, and to this day me and my mate refer to it as the Midnight Fae Rave.

As a side note, all photographs my mate took that night to prove it was real became corrupted or went missing by the end of the week.

I’ve seen a lot of videos going around of urban-dwelling critters coming to humans for help with various problems, ranging from boxes stuck on their heads to young trapped down a storm drain, and it’s gotten me to thinking:

On the one hand, it’s kind of fascinating that they know to do that.

On the other hand, setting any questions of how this sort of behaviour must have arisen aside for the nonce, does it ever strike you how weird it is that we’ve got a whole collection of prey species whose basic problem-solving script ends with the step “if all else fails, go bother one of the local apex predators and maybe they’ll fix the problem for no reason”?

[evenstevensranked]

#32: Season 1, Episode 7 - “Foodzilla”

Louis convinces Ren to let him do a live news segment on the school lunch lady for the Wombat Report. Unfortunately, his inability to be serious turns the story into a fiasco -- ultimately causing the lunch lady to quit her job.

The episode opens with Louis and Ren walking home from school. He’s nagging her and asking “please?!” over and over. This is obviously setting us up to wonder what the heck he’s asking for. Side note: I love how even though I know they filmed the interior shots of the house on a set, I STILL like to think they used the real house from time to time, lol. This is another one of those instances. They’re walking out and about in the real world, up until they reach their front door. You can’t tell if they’re still outside or if they’ve captured great artificial “natural” light. Gahhh. You can also hear legitimate sounding wind and cars driving by, which is either great sound editing or... ya know, they were actually at the house. In which case.. IT TOTALLY IS THE SAME INSIDE! 

Yeah, this is definitely (probably) my wishful thinking talking tbh. The more I stare at these images the more it looks like a set with bright lights... But still. 

Anyway, nerd analyzation aside... Turns out Louis desperately wants to host a segment on the premiere installment of the Wombat Report, which Ren is in charge of. He says that he could make her a comic masterpiece, which is where Ren immediately shuts any prospect down. Naturally, she absolutely will not allow it because she thinks Louis is incapable of taking anything seriously. I don’t blame her. If only she could lighten up, though.. Louis probably could’ve delivered something great, hilarious and take it seriously. I would’ve loved to see that, tbh. 

Literally a million scenes/lines from this episode were used in Disney Channel promos for the show. Including “You think I need to shave my pits?” “I rest my case.” which happens around this point of the episode. 

Louis heads out to the backyard, where Eileen is attempting to do Tai-Chi. The only problem is that she can’t find the right music to help her relax. Louis confides in her about the Wombat Report situation, and she tells him if he really wants to do it, the only option is to take it seriously and present Ren with a professional idea. She invites Louis to try exercising with her “Do this with me! It’s called: Golden Chicken Stands on One Leg.” Louis gives up right away and says:

So freaking good. Louis Stevens is all of us. 

Eileen eventually looks though Ren’s CD collection for better relaxation tunes and chooses Limp Bizkit. Oh my god. “The Limp Biscuits. That sounds relaxing” she says. bahaha I can’t. 

The next day at school, Louis tries to figure out a good idea for a story and goes to Twitty and Tawny for help at lunch. Twitty suggests that he do a behind the scenes look at his band, The Alan Twitty Project! Ahhhh! This is the first ever hint at the band arc! :D He also says that his lead singer has mono. The number one sickness mentioned on teen shows that literally no one I’ve ever known in real life has contracted. We get another one of those lines used in promos here: Louis: “You think I’m just some goofball who can’t be serious?” Twitty and Tawny: “...........yeah.” 

Right about now is when Louis gets the bright idea to do his story on the school lunch lady.. played by Wendy Worthington who’s been in a zillion things you’ve probably seen. Including “Tower of Terror” -- the single most horrifying movie to ever air on Disney Channel. (Well, except for “Don’t Look Under The Bed.”) There’s a decapitated corpse and doll in the film. Just sayin. 

She’s honestly really good at playing a creepy lady, I guess. Also, the little girl is Morgan from Boy Meets World... which instead of a direct parallel, you could consider a 6 degrees of separation deal between this show and BMW. I mean, that’s kinda reaching... but.

Just for the laughs, here’s me on the ride at Disney World. I was... well, terrified of it, but oddly obsessed at the same time. Also, that is my uncle laughing at me to my right. 

Louis presents Ren with a rough draft of his report “The Lunch Lady: Life Behind The Hairnet” which seems extremely promising. Ren thinks so too, and allows him to do the segment. We sort of get mirror talk that night... but not really. It’s just Louis practicing various ways to act on air -- another bit used in promos. 

Okay, we’ve finally reached the debut of The Wombat Report! For some reason Ren can’t correctly pronounce “Wombat Report” and says “Wombat Waport” I never understood this until I asked my mother for confirmation today. Louis refers to her as “Bawa” (a.k.a Barbara Walters) at one point, so I always assumed this was a reference to her or something... turns out my assumption was correct. I apologize for being an uncultured swine.

They start off with a “Coming up...” intro that features a character named DaNica Henderson (played by Alexis Lopez from The Luck Of the Irish, whose sister is Bianca Lopez a.k.a Mandy “Always Gets Her Man” Sanchez! Holy crap!) To quote Season 3 Louis:

DaNica says “Ever wonder what happens to the fines you pay on overdue library books? I have a shocking report.” And the camera zooms out to reveal a fancy sports car in the librarian’s parking spot: 

Like, wth?! lol. Imagine if the librarian saved up enough piddly overdue fines to buy a freaking lambo or something?! omg. What’s funnier is that I’m picturing the stereotypical, old lady librarian driving around in that car. 

They segue to a sports report by the underused Artie Ryan. Yesssss. He’s interviewing Twitty about a recent basketball game. This scene cuts to Louis, who’s on next, telling Tom (who of course is the AV guy/cameraman) that he’s just gonna wing the interview with the lunch lady. Not good. When it cuts back to Artie’s segment, we get another one of those backends to a random sentence from Twitty: “...Let’s just say it’s the last time I played without a cup.” Oh my god. Chill, Disney. Twitty takes this on-air opportunity to say that his band is looking for a bassist. Artie leans in like “Hey! I play bass!” lol. This is so great because Artie goes on to join The Alan Twitty Project/Twitty-Stevens Connection! Again, very cool to see the band arc starting to form. Gotta love solid continuity. 

It’s time for Louis’ report and, well... this is just one of those absolutely iconic scenes ya gotta embed: 

“It’s FOODZILLA! Tokyo is dooooomed!” (At least, I think that’s what he’s saying.) 

..........as you can see, Louis started off his live-streamed interview sort of okay? And then it all just went down in flames pretty quickly. Only Louis Stevens could take an interview from a simple question, to a full out food war between the news crew and the Lunch Lady. It’s actually pretty hilarious, but you just cannot help but cringe at the fact Louis f’d up… again -- Much like his meltdown in Wild Child. But, I’m ranking this disaster higher because I find it less horrible than tarnishing the name of his own family and jeopardizing Eileen’s campaign on television. It’s a lil less cringy than that, which makes it funnier. I love how he shouts “MAN DOWN! I’ll try to get’cha out! I’ll try to get’cha!” as if they’re literally at war, which is too much lol.. and also predicted Shia’s future...? (Again, I’m reaching, but STILL.) That ending shot scene of Ren fuming with anger was also used for promos. Actually, you can just check out this promo video I posted recently to see every moment I’ve mentioned so far and then some.

To Ren’s surprise, everyone (including Principal Wexler for whatever reason) loved Louis’ segment and thought it was hilarious. DaNica refers to it as “phat” which definitely dates the show, lol. Just like that, Ren switches gears and tells Louis to prepare another segment. Wow. Unfortunately, at lunch that day.. all the kids start taunting the lunch lady by screaming “FOODZILLA!” at her. This one kid was the first one to shout it, and I always thought he was Khleo Thomas (Zero from Holes) lol:

The lunch lady is obviously mortified and runs away into the kitchen. :( Louis and Ren feel incredibly remorseful. When they get home from school, they tell Eileen everything and she forces them to go to the lunch lady’s house and apologize. (This is also the “You are a horrible little person” bit. As seen in that darn promo I linked.)

They go to her house later that night, and she reluctantly invites them in. We learn that her name is Elsa Schotz, and she “shows them who she really is” by yodeling for them. I don’t know how that’s supposed to reveal her true colors, but ok. We find out that she came over on a boat from Europe to become a professional yodeler, but sadly no one cares about yodeling in America — which is most definitely extremely factual. Have you ever heard a Top 40 yodeling hit? Honestly, why would ANYONE travel to America of all countries to pursue a yodeling career? She was already in Europe! That seems like something you’d go to Germany or Switzerland for??? I feel like this is a career endeavor you’d research where it’s most lucrative before moving to another country? Anyway, once she found out that yodeling work literally does not exist in the US, she started cooking at the school for money. But, now she’s depressed because she’s being made fun of.

This information somehow leads to Louis and Ren giving her a makeover??? I never realized it before, but that almost makes no sense? The kids at school weren’t making fun of her for the way she looks, but rather, because of her crazy outburst. I’d be so insulted and confused if I were Elsa. Is the makeover just a way to... somehow distract from the Foodzilla thing? Idk. She forgives them in the end though and her new-look gives her a confidence boost.

Where’d they get that outfit? Did she just happen to have something snazzy like that in the back of her closet? or did they seriously glamify her uniform?

They were pumped for the kids at school to see the “new and improved” Elsa Schotz, but she doesn’t show up the next day. Turns out she struck up a relationship with the school janitor and they eloped to Las Vegas to get married. Still a better love story than Twilight. 

And that’s pretty much it! The short return after the last commercial break is Louis yodeling for Eileen while she does her Tai-Chi. 

This episode remains super memorable. Probably because how many freaking scenes they used on commercials! It also aired a lot as well. Like, wow. But other than the actual Foodzilla scene, the rest of the episode is just a little bland and slightly random at times haha. It’s still good though. It’s nice to see Louis and Ren work together to help Elsa in the end. 

Thoughts?

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