#this idea made me laugh

[thr-333]

Donnie, in his endless search for parental approval goes out to find his turtle parents. When he finds them he builds them an enclosure and everything lovingly calling them mum and Dad. He counts it as positive reinforcement when they don’t try to bite off his fingers.

[buckbeforeyou]

the cat is so real for that

(credits to op, I just edited in Buddie lol)

[ohsolovingsouls]

😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘 + Huck (@agent-scotch)

It's international kissing day! Send 😘 to kiss my muse. - @agent-scotch

"Is that- what is that- is that pizza I can taste? Did you get pizza whilst I was sleeping? Is there any left? That is pizza. Pepperoni right? Not as good as the real New York thing but that's definitely pizza."

[chloesimaginationthings]

Every FNAF artist goes through this..

[shepscapades]

I didn’t mean to put this much effort into this but this bit from Bdubs’ birthday episode really really got me LOL

[lautums]

I A HOMO. 2 REÁL IS 2 REÁL !

[seventh-district]

Making Incorrect H:SR Quotes Until I Run Out of (hopefully) Original Ideas - Pt. 1 - Ratiorine Messages Edition

[Pt. 2] [Pt. 3] [Pt. 4] [Pt. 5] [Pt. 6]

[daydreamerwonderkid]

It's been 1 month since Jason's last international incident.

Obligatory click for better quality

You do NOT have permission to repost my art.

Meme references under cut

And, of course:

[junebugdunes]

mark vs customer service

[ashasdiary]

Lip Plumper + Head = …?

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x fem!reader

Synopsis: the one where Gojo discovers lip plumper…on his dick. Who needs tingly lube when you have lip plumper? 

CW: crack, a little fluff, sexual themes, smut - head, insinuations of cunnilingus WC: 1.6k A/N: Gojo come home I have all the brands of lip plumper just for you 😫 

The first time Gojo encountered lip plumper was when you’d kissed his cheek after a date in the infancy of your relationship. 

It had been a quick, little kiss and he’d been confused about the random tingling sensation he could feel on his cheek after he bid you goodbye and headed back home. In the end, he put it down to him being so in love with you that your energy could be felt even when he wasn’t in your presence. 

The second time Gojo encountered lip plumper was when he’d kissed you while you were getting ready. 

Gojo was sat on his bed, with you, toying with your make up products. 

As you’re busy blending your blush and looking into the hand mirror you were holding, he puts your strip lashes on his eyes — without glue — and flutters his eyes for you. “How’d I look?”

“Lovely,” you glance at him and laugh as they fall off onto the bed. 

“I often wonder how I’d look with dark hair and lashes,” he muses and you hum. 

“You’d still be hot, of course, but I love your white hair, it’s distinctive and beautiful,” you tell him honestly, still focused on the mirror you were holding while you’re fixing your brows. His heart warms from your sweet words and he puts your lashes back in their box. 

Leaning over to you, he embraces you and kisses your temple. “Distinctive and beautiful loves you.”

You smile to yourself and lean into his hold, “I love distinctive and beautiful back. Can you pick a gloss for me, please?”

“Hm…this one,” he says, pointing to your Dior Lip Maximiser. He liked the shade. 

“Great choice,” you grin and you pick it up and open it, applying it a couple of times, the tingling sensation being felt immediately. He watches you in wonder. 

“Your lips look so juicy right now,” he marvels at your lips and the how the plumping effect was making them rosy and full. His gaze flickers between your eyes and your lips. “Can I kiss you?”

You laugh softly, “You don’t need to ask.”

He gently cradles your face as he leans in and kisses you longingly. Before he pulls away completely, he presses a few small pecks to your lips and smiles as he sits back. 

You start to put all of your products back in your make up bag, focused on tidying them away, when you hear him gasp, “What the heck? Why is it tingly?”

You look up to him hastily trying to wipe his lips, panicking. You purse your lips not to laugh at his hastiness, “Satoru, it’s the gloss, relax, it’s like that!” 

He’s trying to wipe it but obviously the plumper had already penetrated his lips, so he whines, “This shit hurts!”

“Will you please hold sti—”you start and he feigns being in pain, touching his lips and wincing. “So dramatic, my gosh…” You pour some micellar water for him on a cotton round and he quickly takes it and wipes his lips. You let out a small snort as you watch him tenderly touch his lips. A few minutes later, you’d found him looking in the mirror at his lips, in wonder.

The third time Gojo encounters lip plumper is when you had just gotten home with him from a wonderful dinner date.

He was looking handsome as always in his light blue button down and dark dress pants, a solid leather belt pulling it all together neatly, and his pretty hair tousled in the most perfect way. And by god, you were itching to take him in your mouth and taste him. 

Gojo was feeling the same with you, eager to please you, taste you, have you in all ways, but you were quicker in your advances and 69 wasn’t something you wanted in that moment because you wanted nothing more than to savour him. 

You both toe off your shoes by the door, and you suddenly crowd him against the wall in the hallway, feeling the heat rush through you as you sink to your knees in front of him. 

“I— sweetheart, fuck…—“ he begins but he trails off as he watches you unbuckle his belt, the delicious sound of the metal clinking together only adding to the wetness at your core. You deftly unbutton and unzip his pants, pulling them down a little. 

You’re greeted with the half hard bulge of him in his boxers and you salivate when you reach past the waistband and pull him out. You gaze up at him with those pretty doe eyes of yours, pumping him in your fist, biting your lip. 

He pushes down his pants and underwear so you have full access to him, and you smile wolfishly up at him as you stroke him some more, pulling a soft groan from his parted lips. 

You lean forward and run your thumb over the tip of him, over his slit, and you wrap your lips around him and suck gently, enjoying the taste of him, as if he were a popsicle. 

“Oh, baby…” he breathes, hand slipping into your hair in an instant. 

You tease the head of him with the tip of your tongue, gentle caresses on it before you’re taking more of the length of him into your mouth. 

He never once takes his eyes off you; it’s intoxicating watching how you’re enveloping him in your mouth. 

Desire, lust, and animalistic need swirls through his body and his blood rushes south to his throbbing cock as you suck on him slowly, taking your time with him. 

You’re in the midst of taking him all the way when he suddenly tenses up and stops you upon feeling the strange sensation of his dick tingling. “Wait, sweetheart— what the f—…baby, did you—“ he’s struggling for words, brows furrowed together as he looks down at your lips and notes the plump shine of them, “are you wearing that lip gloss again?”

You take him out of your mouth and give him a daring smile, eyes twinkling with mischief, “Mmhmm, the one you liked…thought I’d try something new. Think of it as…tingly lube,” you laugh a little and take him into your mouth again, making him hiss and bite his lip. 

After the initial confusion wore off, he quite liked the feeling of it on him. He made a mental note to take you to the Dior store to get some more of the lip product right after he finished making you come on his tongue. 

He leans against the wall, hips bucking slightly, involuntarily, against you as you suck on him more, taking him as deep as you could go. The lip plumper was making him feel things he’d never felt before. The tingling sensation was making precum leak from him and straight onto your waiting tongue where you eagerly lap it up. “Mmmph,” you hum around him, pumping the base of him while you bob your head. You loved having him in your mouth, loved tasting him. 

The taste of him on your tongue adds to your arousal and your other hand snakes down to your core, pushing your dress aside to rub circles over your clothed clit. 

“Takin’ me so good, pretty,” he croons, cupping your jaw, his dick twitching while he watches you touch yourself with his dick in your mouth. You bob your head a few more times and then he takes your face in his hands and holds you in place. “Gonna let me fuck this pretty face, hm?” He asks, eyes hooded and dark. 

You can only let out a half hum, half moan in response, bringing a hand to hold the back of his thigh as he starts to rock his hips against you, fucking your mouth. 

“Ah, fuck—“ he grits out as he thrusts faster, your warm, wet mouth feeling perfect around him. He moans your name when he sees the tears in your eyes as you take his mean thrusts. 

Your eyes screw shut, brows knitted together as you hold onto his thigh and relax your throat. “S-shit— that’s it, sweetheart…” he grunts, low sounds that rumbled through his chest, sounds which were like music to your ears. 

He hits the back of your throat and you gag a little, shuddering as he pulls away and allows you to breathe. Saliva coats your lips and his cock— whatever lip plumper you had on had gone now— and it drips down your chin as you gather your bearings and look up at him gratefully. “Thank you, baby,” you hum, and you take him into your mouth again, sucking him harder, moaning around him knowing the vibrations will make him feel good, lapping at his sensitive tip more with your tongue, while you pump the base of him, teasing his balls a little too. 

His head falls back as he bucks his hips a little, his hand holding onto your hair as he guides you. He pants heavily, cursing under his breath as he gets closer to the edge. You know exactly what he likes and exactly how to please him and right now, you have him like putty in your hands. 

Breathing heavily through your nose, you take him as deep as you can a few more times before he gasps and lets out a pornographic moan of your name, whimpering as he releases into your perfect mouth, “Oh, f-fuck, baby—so good f’me…makin’ me feel so good…nngh…!” He holds you there as the thick ropes of cum shoot out onto your tongue and you let out a soft mewl at the taste of him and the feel of him twitching. 

You gently caress his thighs as he pants for breath, guiding him down from the high. He slumps against the wall and sighs softly, looking down at you with parted lips and hooded eyes, “Get your ass on the bed, I’m gonna eat you out till you can’t take any more. Then, I’m gonna take you to the make up store and buy you some more of that gloss.”

Do not copy or translate my work. © ashasdiary, all rights reserved. Divider by cafekitsune

[nick-nellson]

JOHN MULANEY: “BABY J” (2023)

[egophiliac]

I feel like F/P/S was still a pretty weird one, even by Lance's standards.

sorry for (in an ironic twist) not doing much Ride Kamens art now that it's actually started; I've been pretty slow going through it and I feel weird posting about things I'm not caught up on! though I'm. definitely gonna have to set aside some time to actually get through episode 13, after what they posted today. (w-what did they do to my Leon) (NOBODY TELL ME I HAVE TO FIND OUT ON MY OWN) (LEOOOOOOOON)

[lesbianmaxevans]

daniel molloy, my new bestie

[randomsufff]

You know what I really need in fanfics? More confession scenes where one person drops the confessions then runs, fast as fuck, in the other direction.

Like, obviously they’ll meet back up eventually and talk about it (which is hilarious in itself that they would have to sprint to catch up while yelling why they’re like this) , BUT THINK ABOUT IT!!! It 1) give the other person a chance to gather their thoughts so the person confessing doesn’t have to sit in anxious silence and 2) allows the confessor to get it over with quick and overcomes that anxiety over confessing. Also it’s just fucking hilarious.

Like imagine your fav paring or whatever, they get to that part where one (or both idk) realizes their feelings for the other but they’re just anxious to be vulnerable like that or they fear rejection, whatever. One of them suddenly goes, fuck it, and they turn to the other. (Maybe they’re on a sidewalk, maybe they’re in a park IDK endless possibilities here) and they go:

“ok I’m about to say something, it’s nothing bad (I hope) and I’m willing to talk about it after I say it. I’m 100% serious, this is really not a joke. But I’m going to say this and run to (relevant location). Ok? Ok…. Don’t freak out… iminlovewithyou” *Cue maniac SPRINTING as fast as humanly possible in the other direction* (Bro I’m cracking up just typing about this)

AND THEN!!! You get to chose how they react after a few stunned seconds. Do they sprint after them? Do they shout to bring their ass back over to them? Do they race like hell to beat the other at the determined location??? I don’t know, but it’s hilarious as fuck and can transition seamlessly into heartfelt feeling talk.

(Thinking about this with specific ships is funny as hell too)

Idk I think of more fics had this trope we could all have a grand ol silly time instead of accidentally speed reading through confession schemes because the stress is too much then having to go back and re-read it to fully process it, as one does. You know?

[loadinghellsing]

That depends entirely on where/when in their duel he decides to take a nap.

If before? and he takes a nap instead of going to fight Alucard? Alucard's ghouls aren't attacking him. And yet they're still turning other threats into minced meat and shish kabobs. So Anderson could probally sleep comfortably and safely

If during the fight with Vlad? Vladcard would laugh and probally just accept it. Leave him there as tired and won't do anything to wake him and would deal with threats. But also won't go out of his way to let him sleep.

If Alucard? He'd laugh, then be worried and make sure Anderson's still alive. Upon finding he is would attempt to wake him, and mock him the entire way. If that fails? Alucard will be frustrated and annoyed... But he's not one for picking a fight with an exhausted Anderson that can't work his all, so he'd let him sleep. But he'd also actively make sure Anderson's sleep is respected. In that teasing way. We're keeping level one voices, making sure he's got a blanket and pillow, and we're not dropping any buildings. His fight with Walter would be 10x more infuriating because he'd have all his familiars to hold up and taunt such a claim. Anybody get to close to Anderson- POW- "shhhh- the priest is sleeping". He'd force Walter to whisper their entire fight.

If during the point where the rest of Iscariot arrives? No. Bad Anderson. Dead Anderson. He can have his army but only if he leads them and stands among them.

If instead of the Nail of Helena? It's likely not a nap but due to bloodloss... Alucard would be worried, but Anderson knocking himself out rather then becoming a monster of god? Major improvement! And in those terms Alucard would probally protect him like there is no tomorrow. Worried, protective, concerned. No nail, and anybody who dares to get to close? Just chose the 'fuck around and find out' option.

When Anderson wakes up it's to Alucard staring at him way to closely for anyone's comfort

I wonder what would've happened if Anderson just decided to take a nap during their final battle.

He just looks around at all of Alucard's ghouls, takes a light building ruble and just use it as a pillow.

And just like that, he takes a nap. I wonder how Alucard would react.

[eternalporcelaindoll]

William/Billy being a Baby Bat