#this idea lived rent-free in my head for a while

[heylittleriotact]

⚰ＷＩＰ ＷＨＥＮＥＶＥＲ⚰

I've been tagged by @xxnashiraxx and love seeing their work pop up on my dash - thank you <3

The Soup du Jour is... smut! Plotless, pointless, porntacular, horny Emmrook smut.

We've got praise kinks, we've got flashing, we've got grinding, we've got trying-to-distract-this-poor-man-from-his-work, we've got Rook biting off more than she can chew when Emmrich calls her bluff. It is in this piece that I am (ultimately) going to make good on my threat of Emmrich reciting erotic poetry intimately into Rook's ear while he makes deeply passionate love to her, because that idea has lived rent-free in my head for days now and I need to manifest it. But first I need Rook to be a brat, and for Emmrich to... deal with that.

I was having doubts about this one because I am forever afraid of writing OOC, but honestly I'm just trying to chuck it in the fuck it bucket and have fun.

Tagging: @preciouslittlebhaalbae (you have TIME now MWAHAHAHA), @allofthebarks (don't hold out on me), @emmg (I know you're cooking 👀)

Under the cut because it is ✨EXPLICIT✨

𝒱𝒾𝓈𝒾𝓉𝒶𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃:

A funeral event where the prepared body of the deceased is reposed in the casket (open or closed) so that mourners may pay their respects, say their goodbyes, and grieve communally prior to the formal funeral service.

She knew exactly what she was doing when she pulled on the flimsy little camisole. She had very specific plans in mind when she slipped into the thin leggings that she knew were just a little too tight. There was a distinct reason she had chosen to completely forgo underthings. 

She tied her thick hair into a low bun at the base of her skull so her neck was clearly visible… as was the somewhat faded love bite from their previous encounter - the one that made Lace turn beetroot when she laid eyes on it at breakfast. The one that prompted Taash to reach over the table with a congratulatory high five. Emmrich had coughed awkwardly and subtly adjusted his own collar, clearly hoping the marks Amina had left on his neck in return were concealed.

She padded barefoot down the hallway to the laboratory, stomach fluttering and turning on itself in a not unpleasant way with the sheer anticipation of being in his proximity again. She couldn’t help but be drawn to him - his immense gravity could not be ignored; her need to be near him was insistent. She put little stock in the novelty of fate before Emmrich, but there was no doubt in her mind that there must have been some sort of cosmic ruling in which they were unwittingly sentenced by the stars to find one another. Her belly smouldered at the thought of such a thing… of such belonging.

She knocked gently on the door. “It’s me - may I come in?” 

She didn’t have to wait for an answer, nor did she have to turn the knob herself: she heard a chair scuff over the flagstone, the muffled jingle of gold - a sound that set her heart racing more often than not these days - and the door was flung open. Emmrich stood in the threshold, beaming affectionately down at her. 

“Of course, darling.” He took her hand and pulled her into the room, reaching over her shoulder to shut the door once she was inside. She might have been embarrassed that the sound of the lock clicking behind her made her breath catch solely due to its implication, but she was having a hard time feeling much of anything but barely restrained lust for the man in front of her. 

He drew her in close with an arm around her waist, still holding her hand between them, massaging her palm with his thumb as he bowed his head to kiss her sweetly. Her knees went weak when his lips met hers and his familiar scent filled her nose, rendering her brain incapable of anything other than inwardly chanting the same base sentiment over and over for as long as the kiss lasted: Home! Home! Home! Home! You’re home!

He straightened and looked at her, smiling as though he hadn’t heard the hungry little moan that had slipped from her, nor perceived the way she’d pressed as much of her body against him as she could during their embrace. “How are you today?” He asked, genuinely interested - as always. He knew. Surely he knew that she was positively bursting with need for him.

“Fine,” she breathed, returning the smile, watching as he started back towards the desk that was covered with books, inkpots, and parchment. “I’m well, thank you. Just thought I’d come say hello, see what you’re up to.”  

He pulled a chair over to the opposite side of the desk for her to sit on. She opted to remain standing instead, her eyes flitted over the pages of drying ink spread over the desk. 

“More letters home?” She waited until he was settled in his chair again, the quill back in his hand, and she bent at the waist to take a closer look at a recent anatomical drawing he’d completed. She could feel the cozy heat of the laboratory caress the exposed peaks of her breasts as the insubstantial shirt draped downward, offering a generous eyeful to anyone who might be sitting directly across from her. 

Her eyes flicked up from the drawing when Emmrich didn’t answer right away, a clever smile pulling at the corners of her mouth when she caught him red-handed; his eyes locked on the dainty swell of her breasts. 

He came to his senses when he felt her eyes on him and he comprehended the coquettish smirk on her face. “Yes.” He licked his lips. “Yes. Maintaining alliships and channels of communication is vital as we draw closer to our confrontation with the gods.” He swallowed and smiled again as Amina straightened and rounded the desk, settling against the wood on his side now.

“A fine plan,” she concurred, leaning back on her hands, her very visible nipples more or less eye level for the handsome academic to admire. “I hope I’m not distracting you: it’s so rare that I get a few hours to just relax these days.” She made a bit of a show of tilting her chin up and slowly rolling her head from side to side, stretching out the muscles of her neck and making sure Emmrich could see the soft plum-tinted bloom of colour he’d imparted on her skin as he sent her over the edge with his name on her lips, buried to the hilt between her legs as she clenched hard around him, her fingers curled tightly in his soft, thick hair. ‘You are incredible, darling,’ he had sighed against her tingling skin afterwards when they were little more than a tangled, panting heap of limbs. It had taken a good hour after that before she could walk again…

Amina squirmed against the desk a little at the thought, aware of the burgeoning wetness that was accumulating at the juncture of her thighs. 

Somehow Emmrich managed to maintain the discipline required to look back at the letter he was working on, his lips curling quaintly. “Not at all, my dear - quite the contrary in fact: I’m so glad that you’re finally taking some time to look after yourself.” He dipped the quill, tapped it once, twice, and then brought it to the paper.

She observed him in silence until he seemingly made peace with the fact that she was not going to sit on the chair he’d brought over for her, and instead pushed his own back slightly, pulling her down onto his lap where she perched gleefully, having gotten what she wanted. 

“I must concede that you are somewhat distracting, so I will need your assistance in proofreading these before they’re sent out - I do have an academic reputation to maintain, regardless of the beautiful woman on my knee.” 

“Is that so?” Amina purred, nuzzling into his neck, her lips barely ghosting over his skin that smelled organic and clean - crisp soap and freshly cut sage… a lingering hint of pipe tobacco and expensive brandy. 

Oh yes, she was going to be one hell of a distraction…

“She sounds like a real piece of work, this woman. It’s a marvel that you get anything done at all with her around.” She tilted her hips ever so slightly. Not enough for it to be claimed that she was trying to get a rise out of him, but enough so that the fingernails of his left hand dug into her side a little where he gripped her. A pleased smile took her lips at the feeling of him against her, already half hard: he could pretend to be aloof and composed all he liked, but she knew that there was only one possible outcome for this encounter. 

“I was just having a similar thought, as it turns out,” he murmured, breath catching slightly when Amina ground against him more deliberately this time. “She’s cornered me in my laboratory no fewer than three times this week, you see: my productivity has utterly plummeted.”

The way he whispered those words, his voice so sinful and cunning…

“Oh dear…” Amina tutted. “Well we can’t have that now, can we?” She moved to slide from his lap, fully prepared to at least pretend that she cared a whit about Emmrich’s ‘productivity’ of late. 

He held her fast though, keeping her on his lap with his hands and arms, and the sheer fact of his existence alone. She rewarded him with a satisfied hum and another agonizingly slow roll of her hips, suspecting that she was probably beginning to soak through her thin pants.

His hand dropped from her waist to her thigh and he palmed the expanse of hard muscle there, dragging his fingers towards her hip as he leaned forward and his hot breath washed over the sensitive shell of her ear, driving a small gasp from her as she flinched in his grasp: he had not been idly boasting during that dinner date about his anatomical prowess.

“I fear I wouldn’t have it any other way…” he confided, those artful, nimble fingers of his straying to her waistband and slipping beneath it. He sharply inhaled through his teeth and uttered a soft ‘oh’ when he found her waiting for him, slick and needy. There was a slight tremor in his voice when he said, “She is intoxicating, you see…”

She moaned encouragingly as he swirled a finger through her, clearly enjoying the experience of her arousal alone: she could distinctly feel his hardness against her rear now.

Oh how she longed to ravish him - ride him to completion on this very chair, or on the floor perhaps. Maybe against one of the many bookshelves that lined the room - they had dallied against one the week before, her leg hitched up around his thin waist, pulling him deeper as he set a pace that stole her breath from her lungs and hit angles that caused her to see stars. 

Or she could bend over the railing of the balcony upstairs and feign interest in the curious nature of their environs while he slammed into her over and over again, his fingers digging into the soft flesh of her hips… 

Of course there had been the rather awkward instance a few days earlier where Manfred had wandered in on them both in a state of partial undress: Emmrich’s waistcoat hanging open, Amina dragging her hands through his hair, her own shirt piled in a careless heap on the floor nearby and Emmrich’s hand down her pants as she tried to kick off her high-heeled lilac slippers without removing her lips from his skin. Manfred had launched himself between the two of them with a consternated hiss, clearly interpreting their entanglement to mean they were fighting instead of well… the other thing. The following day, Emmrich gave his first in a series of many lectures to Manfred about the birds and the bees - and reiterated the invaluable virtue of always knocking before entering a room that might have someone else in it.

She was snapped from her musing at the sublime sensation of Emmrich’s finger dragging along the ridges of her walls as he slid the digit inside of her. She let out a small gasp at the intrusion and reflexively clenched around it, hips rocking against his once more. 

“... but I really must finish these letters.” There was a playful, coy edge to his voice as he slowly withdrew his finger and slowly pushed it back in. “This striking woman of mine will need to exercise patience today, it seems…”

Something about being his striking woman in particular sent a jolt of arousal straight through her very soul. She could feel the cool metal of his rings against her feverish skin as he cupped her sex, his thumb brushing almost tauntingly over her aching clit. 

“Please, Emmrich…” she whined, arching up into his touch, making her need plain. 

The demonstration of manners earned her a second finger, but her lover did not deviate from his task as he leaned forward, dipped the quill, and began to write once more. “In good time, my precious love,” he soothed. “Try to relax for the time being - I shan’t take long.” 

“It feels so good though…” 

“That’s wonderful, darling - I want you to feel good.” 

She fell silent, the wind in the sails of her desire to argue stilling as she let her head fall against the back of the chair and closed her eyes, allowing herself to exist in the moment - holding on tight to every emphatic response of her nervous system as Emmrich touched her with a capable familiarity that suggested he’d touched her a thousand times before; the erotic symphony of the quill scratching over the parchment mingled with the sound of his fingers moving within her… her breathy moans… his many bangles shifting gently with each purposeful gesture…

“You’re doing so well,” he murmured eventually - she had lost track of time - kissing her shoulder before returning to the letter. He had to be nearly done, hadn’t he? “So good for me… my sweet Amina…”

She whimpered at his words - the reverent praise tolling something deep within her that was starved and lonely. She writhed on his thigh as he placed tender kisses all over her cheek and crooked his fingers, stroking that euphoric place inside of her that made cognizant thought impossible and made her thighs tremble like she’d been in the training hall all day. He took her apart slowly, casually… effortlessly, and before long she was fluttering around him, cheeks and lips flushed a delicate pink, staring down an orgasm that was about to be everyone in the building’s business - she could feel it: the deep fire in her belly roiling and twisting on itself, going taut, so tense and eager that one more touch could snap it, yielding the most decadent release…

And then he was gone, the absence of his touch keenly felt as her walls flexed and tensed around the sudden nothingness. 

She glowered at him, though her stomach flip-flopped enthusiastically as she watched him taste her on his slender fingers with a dignified poise she should have expected. “That was cruel.”

“Is it cruel to strive to linger in a garden of untold majesty forever, even knowing forever is unobtainable?” He stroked those same fingers gently over her lips and she caught the tip of one between her teeth, flicking the very tip of her tongue over the fleshy pad of it. “I want to savour you, my dear.” He buried his nose in her hair and inhaled her scent. “Let me take my time.”

[morus-god-of-doom]

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Donatello & Leonardo & Michelangelo & Raphael (TMNT), Donatello & Leonardo & Michelangelo & Raphael & Splinter (TMNT) Characters: Michelangelo (TMNT), Leonardo (TMNT), Raphael (TMNT), Splinter (TMNT), Donatello (TMNT), Hamato Yoshi | Splinter Additional Tags: Add tags as I go Summary:

What if Michelangelo was chosen to be the leader instead of Leonardo? What if the freckled terrapin was more than met the eye? Well, let us read of the Leader that none expected to get, not even the Leader himself.

[fatedroses]

I know I design him with the intention that he becomes an evasion tank, but there's an irony I find very amusing in making his new magitek armor lighter than his original.

[totallynotsarkaz]

d&d session between abyssal hunters be like

[hannigramislife]

"I wonder if I was able to protect the kids in another universe."

The other universe: ...

[inbox-to-the-void]

Fresh's Theme: YOO I'LL TELL U WUT I WANT SO TELL ME WH Swap: FML

art source comes from here, fic made by @gaylordscooter

[IMAGE ID: A digital drawing of Swap Sans, visibly tense and hiding behind a broken wall. The wall is an almost-grey blue, the background is a slightly bluer and darker grey, Blue's background color is blue, and Swap's outlines are a paler version of his background. Behind the wall are rainbow all-capitilized words that switch color each line break. The words read "YOO I'LL TELL U WUT I WANT SO TELL ME WH", the words a reference to the beginning lyrics in Wannabe by Spice Girls. The rainbow words are cut off by the bottom of the broken wall. Swap's thought bubble background is his outline colour, while his speech bubble font color is colored in his background color. His thought bubble just reads "FML" in all caps. END ID]

[roguemonsterfucker]

don't mind me i'm just watching some monsterfucker movies for 'research' purposes

[ell-arts]

Hey. Psst.

Sooo...if all goes well...

And the motivational drive lasts just a little bit longer-

Then ya'll are getting a new PMATGA oneshot fanfic from me.

Either this week or the week after.

Watch this space.

[whump-in-the-closet]

iron sharpens iron

Roe "What do you mean I'm bleeding?" Caddel

Ed "He points to the floor and I kneel; a tool, a machine, his" Byrne

Will "I will leave such a mark, others will have to know me to understand you." Lockwood

Roe (she/her) engineering student, competitive and silver-tongued, and quick to talk herself out of situations. Until she can't.

Ed (he/they) rising star, who burned out as quickly as they rose, and who knows where they disappeared to? A shame, they had such promise.

Will (he/him) works with the Recreation agency and has a new pet project: half metal, half human-- there is not much left of Ed. Except he's taken it too far. He's given an ultimatum: fix it, or pay the full consequences.

[brobotsbro]

when I get over my crippling self doubt and cringefail knee jerk reflex it's over for you hoes

[amethystina]

Thank you so much for everything you do for The Devil Judge fandom, you've really managed to give us accurate character fanfics and analyses! I hope you manage to take care of yourself to recover well.

I was just wondering what you think Yo Han would feel and how he would internally react to finding out about Ga On's bombing attempt before rescuing him. Because we see what he shows Ga On, but that often doesn't show how he feels, especially after immediately finding out about it.

I'm happy to be of service! :D

Though, admittedly, I'm still a little disoriented by everyone's faith in my analyses and characterisation. Like, I've always had a knack for it, ever since I wrote my first fanfic over ten years ago (that whole "I can literally hear them say this, and see them move in my head" has been there since the beginning) but it somehow seems to have intensified with The Devil Judge? x'D

Which obviously isn't a bad thing by any means! It's just a little disorienting because I'm not used to being given this kind of... authority, almost? I don't feel nearly qualified enough.

But that could definitely be the imposter syndrome talking.

Anyway! To your question!

YES. I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS TOO.

Or, rather, I've been wondering how that whole thing went down. As in, what's the timeline here? Because that is the most important question, because it also changes the answer to your question.

And it starts with: How much did Lawyer Ko know? We don't actually hear what Ga On tells him about his plan, so did Lawyer Ko know what the bomb was actually for? Or was the plan not quite as drastic when Ga On first told Lawyer Ko about it, because Yo Han hadn't "died" at that point? And it was only once Yo Han was gone that Ga On changed his mind and decided to blow himself up, too, without telling Lawyer Ko about it?

Because, quite frankly, I have a hard time believing that Lawyer Ko wouldn't tell Yo Han about Ga On's plans to kill himself if he knew about them. And sure, Yo Han is a bit of a drama queen, but I don't think he would have waited to approach Ga On until literally the last couple of seconds if he'd known that there was a risk that Ga On might die.

Especially since Yo Han had hours between when he was declared dead and the final trial, which took place the day after he was smuggled out of jail. He had plenty of time to find Ga On and I can't see why he wouldn't, if he thought that Ga On was about to kill himself? Again, he's dramatic, but not reckless — especially not when it comes to the lives of those he cares about. What if he'd been too late?

Even more so since Yo Han had his own plans that were about to take place in that very same building. Which would have been completely derailed if Ga On had had time to detonate his bomb. And Yo Han simply wouldn't risk the culmination of his ten-year-long revenge plan for the drama. Not a chance.

And, finally, had he shown up literally three seconds later than he did, he would most likely have died in that blast, too. And, sure, Yo Han may seem careless about his own safety, but every risk he takes is very calculated. And he definitely didn't plan to die that day — he wouldn't do that to Elijah.

He wouldn't make such a gamble — risk leaving Elijah all alone in the world — just to make his Lazarus moment as dramatic as possible.

Not with only three seconds to spare.

So the only logical conclusion, in my opinion, is that Yo Han found out literally minutes before it was about to go down. Probably because Lawyer Ko goes: "Oh right, I forgot to mention because we've been so busy, but Kim Ga On has a bomb and I think he plans to blow up Min Jung Ho today. Maybe we should stop him?" Without realising the severity of the situation — since he doesn't know about Ga On's martyr and suicidal tendencies. Because, again, if Lawyer Ko had known about Ga On's plans, I feel like he would have mentioned it to Yo Han sooner? Because that's some pretty damn pertinent information right there. At which point Yo Han would have approached Ga On (clandestinely, of course) and talked him out of it.

Or, well, just showed up, in all honesty. I think that would have been enough to convince Ga On not to kill himself, since his decision was no doubt heavily influenced by his feelings of guilt and grief.

As for Yo Han's reaction?

WELL.

If it plays out like I've speculated here, that he and Lawyer Ko are getting ready for that last trial when Lawyer Ko mentions the bomb? And Yo Han maybe just nods along at first — kind of annoyed because this clashes with his own plans — until he remembers who they're talking about? And how reckless Ga On is? And that Ga On is under the impression that Yo Han is dead, too, so shortly after Ga On lost Soo Hyun?

Imagine the moment when Yo Han connects the dots and realises that Min Jung Ho is probably not the only person Ga On plans for to die in that explosion.

Panic is a rather apt description, I'd say.

That kind where the entire world grinds to a halt for a couple of seconds and your chest just squeezes from fear and denial.

Not a lot of it would show outwardly, of course, but internally? Yo Han would be panicking. Because unless Ga On gave Lawyer Ko an exact time — which I don't think he did — it could be happening right then, at that very moment. And he's not wrong because it probably is. But Yo Han doesn't know that, of course, and has no idea how much time he has to try and stop Ga On.

He doesn't know if he'll make it in time.

And that just makes it so, so much worse than if he'd found out earlier. Because, all of a sudden, it's a literal case of life and death, with several variables Yo Han isn't aware of and doesn't have the time to try and figure out, either.

Ga On might die.

Fortunately, Yo Han is so good at compartmentalizing that he'd probably only feel a couple of seconds of panic before he's able to shove it down and go into razor-sharp, problem-solving mode instead. Especially since Ga On's life is suddenly in danger so, clearly, there's no time to panic. It is time to act.

And even as Yo Han proceeds to do just that, I think his mind would be spinning in the background, berating himself for not considering this possibility. Because that's his thing. He's supposed to be able to predict the moves of everyone on the board. He's supposed to be several steps ahead of everyone. And he is — at least when it comes to his main goal with the chaebols. But, once again, he didn't account for Ga On. He forgot to consider what righteous and tender-hearted Ga On would do when caught up in all this guilt and grief.

He didn't think.

Yo Han has a blind spot — or a weakness, if you will — and its name is Kim Ga On.

And Yo Han would be so angry with himself for not realising this sooner. Like, if he'd only just thought about it, he could have reached this conclusion long ago — that Ga On might do something stupid now that he thinks that both Yo Han and Soo Hyun are dead, and Professor Min betrayed him — but he didn't. He was too caught up in his revenge.

(Which is a beautiful rabbit hole one can go down, if one desires. Like imagine the pain Yo Han would feel when he realises that his obsession with revenge almost cost him his new family. It turned out okay in the end, of course, but he was so close to losing it.)

But he'd show Ga On none of that, of course, when he arrives to rescue him. Because Yo Han is a showman — with perfect and masterfully executed plans — and he can't let Ga On know that there were a couple of minutes just now where Yo Han wasn't sure if he'd get there in time to stop Ga On. When he wasn't in control.

But I can imagine that's definitely something Yo Han will have nightmares about later.

... which he also doesn't tell Ga On about, naturally.

But, all of that said, I also think that Yo Han would sort of... brush it aside after that? In that way he does with things that are traumatic? Like, he wouldn't really look any deeper into it or try to ask Ga On if he's feeling less suicidal after the whole ordeal. Because he knows he's not really equipped to deal with the answer, whatever it may be.

So he'd just be grateful that he got there in time and try to put it behind himself in one of those "well, it worked out in the end so, clearly, there's no need to agonise over it" sort of deals. Which is by no means healthy, but that's Yo Han for you.

So yeah! That's what I think! :D

There is obviously some guesswork involved since, again, I can't say for sure exactly what happened in what order. But I truly can't picture both Lawyer Ko and Yo Han just shrugging off Ga On declaring that he's going to kill himself and then allowing him to get as close to it as he does. Honestly, I refuse.

Thank you so much for asking! And thank you so much for the well-wishes too 💜

[kiruamon]

When the rude brat who always comes to pick up his sister is suddenly overly friendly with the DCA

But it just lasts a few days until the brat is back to normal. Just to be friendly again the next four days and it's going back and forth for a few weeks like this.

And then the day comes where Sun thinks that his visual systems are starting to glitch because he suddenly has two versions of that troublesome human standing in front of his gate! Only to realize that he has been dealing with twins for the last weeks.

That explains a lot.

Or short: Y/N having a mean twin and it confuses the heck out of the DCA whenever they show up at the daycare instead of their sibling.

[tara-the-quiet-bookworm-2016]

I think when I finish my Yandere! Graves fic I'm gonna start working on my Yandere! Price fic. Where he obsesses over and hunts down his Ex-wife who left him.

[goosecastle41]

New profile picture

It me

Drawn by the amazing @pickle-juice-enjoyer

[domsaysstuff]

(ronance, robin(/a lil bit stobin too)-centric, side steddie fic idea)

So I'll probably at this point will never write this idea but I still wanted to share it with the fandom so I'll just dump my ramblings abt it here

I've been toying with the idea of actually nancy falling for Robin first and also Robin's queer adolescence and how Robin's trauma goes into her relationships

Specifically her relationship with Vicky

I just want her to care? To feel like the world is breaking because it's her first relationship??? like i want her to try and try to make this relationship work and still it doesn't because vicky wanted a clumsy cute normal girl and robin is all of that but also, also she wakes up in the middle of the night screaming, there are days where she needs to keep holding steve's hand to be okay, to remind themselves that they are real and here and alive and she has a group of people that she's very codependent with, a group of people that vicky will never fully be absorbed with and like all of this is fine if it's something vicky could take but she doesn't want and she doesn't have to!! but like it still hurts robin deeply because vicky is kind and she likes her back and she's her first love and to lose that slowly, to see vicky get overwhelmed with all of this is killing robin, it's making her feel even more broken and it hurts but also, it's just how things go

sometimes you fall in love and you get loved back and it still doesn't work out

it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt tho

so i just want her to care i want her to be hurt deeply in a way only first relationships hurt

Like I want Vicky and Robin to be cute and together and I want Robin to like her so fucking much and I want it to fail anyway because that's how it sometimes is no matter how smitten Robin is, how much they want it to work and it hurts, it hurts because it's unfair and it hurts because it's just how it goes and there is also just nothing special about it

And like Robin understands, but it hurts and it feels like there is just one more wrong thing with her, before she couldn't connect with people because of her being a lesbian and now when she found a girl that likes her she can't connect with her because of her trauma and it feels unfair, so fucking unfair

And at the beginning from Robin's side Ronance is platonic because she's preoccupied with Vicky and also because Nancy is Robin's first female friend

The thing is that Robin has grown up weird, it's like everybody could smell the queer on her before she could even understand it herself and so at first ronance from robin's pov is just a lot of being grateful for having a girl friend, for experiencing girl nights and sleepovers and Nancy doesn't make her feel like a freak and it feels safe and girly in a way Robin has never allowed herself to feel, always just too uncomfortable around girls even before she knew why, so she's kind of reliving her girlhood and honestly i think she deserves it

Meanwhile Nancy in the background is just working through her compulsory heterosexuality and figuring out she's a lesbian and she has been halfway in love with Robin since the Creel thing

Also I feel like Vicky would try to be supportive but she wouldn't get it but Nancy does

i have this scene

in my mind

like robin's nightmares are fine for vicky, it's when she's waking up all panicky and she needs steve in a way Vicky just doesn't get why, it's not that she doesn't try to be supportive but she doesn't get it

but one night when robin sleeps over at nancy's and she wakes up with steve's name on her lips, she gets nancy's hand on her back drawing small circles, little movement reminding her she's not alone and nancy calling steve on the walkie, not because robin asked but because nancy knew it was what robin needed, robin fell asleep again with nancy's arms around her and steve's voice on the walkie that night

and then in the morning nancy is like "don't mention it, sometimes i need to call jon, just to hear his voice, i understand the need" bc i'm a firm believer that jonathan is to nancy what steve is to robin and i will take no criticism (but i will accept that it might also be eddie and not jonathan but like also they are both her bestfriends you honor)

but robin is like feeling this queer dissonance bc she still doesn't know nancy isn't straight and it's like, yeah, but it's different. It's always different for me. you call jonathan because he's your boyfriend, that's what couples do, i call steve because he's an extension of me i didn't knew was walking outside of my body before i found him and suddenly i was whole again, i don't want to ever kiss him but i want to spent my life with him but she doesn't say that, because nancy might be kind and understanding, but she still was nancy the priss wheeler and robin doesn't want to lose girls' nights and sleepovers in one bed and this easy friendship because she's different again, so she just smiles and later when steve arrives to pick her up she cries in his shoulder

Like this scene is mostly a foreshadowing of how much Nancy fits and gets it

Also Steve and Robin platonic soulmates supremacy so a lot if this is also platonic soulmates stobin because Robin realizes she's going to leave for college soon and she doesn't want to leave without Steve, even if he won't be alone in hawkings bc he has the kids and Eddie (bc Eddie lives, ofc, i'm not killing my baby, lmao, also there is a steddie sideplot, imma talk abt it in a second)

But Steve is hers and she is Steve's first and she doesn't want to leave him, can't imagine, feels like leaving half of her body and it's not fair, but also can't take it upon herself to ask him to leave with her because she doesn't think she can handle it if he says no

And so like the fic would starts in late April/early may and Robin is trying so hard with holding the ones she has so close because she's going to leave and she's trying to grasp on the last crumbles of her teenage years and onto her relationship with Vicky and throughout all of this Nancy is this constant that just is there, steady, safe and becoming actually one of her best friends

And it surprises her, because it was easy to be friends with Eddie once they bonded over being gay and also caring for Steve, it was somewhat comfortable to have a budding relationship with Jonathan and Argyle, caring for the kids came with caring for Steve because they are somewhat also a part of him and he is part of her so they are also hers but Nancy always was so unreachable, so far away so untouchable, except she wasn't

Except she was there inviting Robin to sleepovers and over milkshakes and stupid diners and going over college application with her and talking about Steve and Jonathan and Eddie with fondness because these are their boys and somehow Nancy has become an integral part of Robin's life

And so a lot of the first part of the fic is Robin trying to hold onto all those things before she moves to college

And then Vicky breaks up with Robin in the middle of july, and it's a nice weather, Robin wishes it was raining and the thing is that even when breaking up with her Vicky is just so sweetly nice, so perfect and Robin wishes she could hate her, that she could be mad, but she only feels sad, so incredibly fucking sad, it feels like something that she saw coming, because she did, she knew it was going to end like this, but even when breaking up with her Vicky wasn't mean, was nice enough to tell Robin, to lie, she just doesn't want to do long distance

it's when Steve is comforting her abt the break up that Robin ask him to come with her, she already had her heart ripped out once today, it's a little bit self-destructing, it's maybe her punishing herself for her codependency that in her eyes cost her her relationship, but he says yes, is ecstatic, because wherever she goes he won't hesitate to follow, they are a package deal after all, somehow they also rope Eddie into it and it makes sense, it makes sense to leave with both Steve and Eddie that have become such vital parts of her, steve is an extension of her outside of her body, but Eddie is someone who understands and fits between the spaces that she and Steve leave behind seamlessly, it would make sense to leave and take them with her

quiet interlude to explain the steddie side plot because it's now kind of necessary

so i have this in mind that like steve knows he's bi before the whole vecna, he figured it out with robin after starcourt

and robin already feels like having one other queer person in hawkings is extraordinary but then vecna happens and eddie joins the crew, eddie with his bandana, eddie with his big boy and chains and jokes and attitude and robin and steve argue back and forth if he is queer or not, while also steadily forming a friendship with him and it's just robin wants him to be so bad, because a part of her feels like eddie understands the queer parts of her that steve bless him never could, bc steve somehow could hide behind the heteronormality but robin and eddie never had a choice, they were always too weird, too different for that, but robin is afraid, it's steve, brave steve that ends up coming out to eddie first in a comment that he plays of as nonchalant but robin sees right through him, he's afraid and yet, and yet he barrels through, holds himself under eddie's gaze and is brave because that what steve is, brave

and so they're my three queer best friends and i love them

Also this is once again me pushing Steve is a brave, beautiful boi agenda

and robin sees how eddie looks at steve and steve at eddie and she thinks that maybe steve just is oblivious (i mean after they all came out to each other, thanks to steve) but then she talks to steve about it

and the thing is that steve knows that eddie wants him, that he's attracted to him, but steve actually fucking likes eddie, might actually fucking love him

and after the whole being bullshit and all the girls that went out with him because they wanted king steve and not steve he doesn't know, doesn't trust himself to know if eddie likes him the same way

He doesn't trust himself to not be bullshit again

and eddie is a bit of coward, like let's face it, that boy is ready to pine his whole life for steve harrington if it gets him to just exist in his space

and so steve just doesn't let himself have this

because he would rather to have him as a friend than an ex-hookup and he couldn't have handled it if that's all what eddie wanted to be, so they're like tragically pinning, they're my idiots you honor

So then the summer is ending and so they organize a party to celebrate the last days they have together, the whole party and when there is only a spicy six left Robin, my baby comes out as a lesbian!! And she's so afraid of Nancy's reaction, but Nancy, beautiful, kind, stubborn Nancy just takes her hand and says with a smile that she's glad that she told them and her smile is beautiful, happy and Robin feels like a weight is lifted off of her because now, now she doesn't feel like she might lose her friendship with Nancy too, because she was so afraid that once Nancy will know, it will be the end of them, it's why she waiting until both of them are going away, until the pain of missing her won't be as visible because Nancy isn't supposed to be there with her anyway

So after that

Nancy ofc goes to NY

Robin, Steve and Eddie somehow land in Chicago and my boy Eddie is a mechanic for sure bc i love the idea, Robin ofc will be studying and I haven't decided what Steve will be doing

And Jonathan and Argyle will stay in Hawkins, taking their gap year

Robin thinks it's partly why Steve wasn't as afraid to come with her, knowing Jon will be there keeping an eye on Hawkins, on the kids, because it's not that Steve doesn't trust Joyce and Hopper but he doesn't trust them to call them when things go bad, and kids are always too preoccupied to call when things go wrong and he trust, trusts Jon to call when things go code red in Hawkins, also i think Jon deserves a gap year, let that boy relax please

And so Nancy calls, all of them do actually, the kids and Jonathan with Argyle, I kind of like to think that like sometimes all three Robin and Steve and Eddie are gathered around the phone talking with whoever calls, like Steve is painting Robin's nails while listening to Eddie and Jon arguing about some music thing on the phone while Robin keeps adding her opinion only to stir shit up even more and sometimes it's Eddie and Steve parenting Dustin while Robin just lays next to them doing her school assignments

But Nancy calls when she also knows Robin is just there alone, Nancy calls and asks her about Chicago and college and it's good, it's good talking with her

Also I have this scene in my head where Nancy and Robin talk about Barb, it's late and Robin is alone in the apartment, Eddie and Steve gone somewhere together and Nancy is talking about how sometimes she finds it hard, knowing that Barb probably wouldn't have recognized her now, that she changed, grew up and she isn't the same person that Barb was friends with anymore (my personal headcanon is that Nancy didn't even want to be a journalist before Barb's death, but after seeing how they covered it up, how the press twisted and manipulated the truth she wanted to be the one good one, for Barb, a sense of justice paid to her through others, it's why she wanted the facts for Eddie so hard)

And Robin asks her how she deals with it and Nancy says that she just has to, it won't go anywhere, she won't stop aging, "besides" she says "eddie recently told me something and, don't tell him that, but it was actually pretty smart"

"Impressive for him" Nancy giggles and it's good to know her giggles make her feel the same feeling of accomplishment even through the phone

"Anyway, he told me that we survived so we could change. That we are the lucky ones that get to change, dead people don't change. So it's good, to sometimes, become something new"

And it sticks with Robin and she somehow that leads her to asking Steve to cut her hair even shorter because hair holds memory and she wants to have space for new ones, the good ones, she wants to see them grow (one of this days I will think of a sapphic idea that doesn't involve hair, i swear, but today is not the day) also both Robin and Steve dye a strand of their hair pink, for platonic soulmate unity reasons

so anyway chicago is good, good for her and Steve and Eddie and they're thriving and they're finding queer bars and are growing up, becoming adults together and like Robin manages to hook up with a girl and meet more queer people, grow into herself and there a set backs and bad days, like once a girl started roleplaying a cop as a part of foreplay and asked "where do you work" in a voice that reminded Robin too much of the russians and the torture, she cried for an hour and a half on the girl's floor, before she managed to exhaust herself and only then she managed to give out their number so the girl could call Steve to pick her up, she cried in Stevie's arms the whole night after that because she just felt broken like yes she could move, she could grow up, she could experience new things but the trauma will always be a part of her

and so then! we have like two important seeing nancy moments

one where everybody comes back to hawkings for smh idk if will be holidays or smh or smh different, but even if nancy and robin called on a regular it's the first time she's seeing her since they went away for college and during that time robin finally catches up to nancy and realizes she's in love with her

But she thinks it's hopeless because Nancy hasn't yet came out to Robin (in my mind Eddie helped her in figuring it out during summer, she came out to Jon in the meantime after moving but before this coming home and during the stay in Hawkins she will come out to Steve but it will be unnecessary bc honestly Steve suspected that Nancy liked Robin since fucking the first words of the fic) and so Robin pulls away

Also during this visit is when she asks Wayne how he dealt with dating people after going to war, did he ever manage to separate his trauma and his dating life and he tells her that there are people who will understand and love her with her trauma not despite of her (with like a heavy look towards Nancy bc Uncle Wayne knows what the fuck is up)

Oh also per Chicago being good for the boys, it's where Steve finally allows himself to be loved, it's where they come home to each other, it's where they stay with each other, it's where they slow dance together in the kitchen, it's where Steve realizes that Eddie is here to stay, when Steve tells Robin he kissed Eddie over dinner, they both cry, simply because they are happy, Robin is so glad that Steve finally, finally is happy and healthy and is letting himself be loved how he deserves

and then we have a second time where the whole spicy six gather in New york to celebrate with nancy i'm thinking maybe new year??

and then nancy comes out as a lesbian and like than robin realizes what nancy was doing all this time, she realizes that they are steve and eddie (because eddie has waited, all this time until steve was ready, was right beside him when steve blossomed into someone who could trust that eddie wants him back, eddie waited and nancy... nancy waited too) and it's like the both of them go to bed together ofc and robin has this like feeling of, they had time, they finally have time, and they could take it in whatever pace they want, this like finality of feeling that they are finally on the same page and the rest is like fluff

Also something something Nancy belonging to NY and being even more beautiful somewhere where she is healthy and happy and thriving, something something about rosy cheeks and long coats and frosty kisses

So i guess i just want Robin to like grow into herself and who she is in relationships and have experience and grow comfortable in herself before she let herself love Nancy, i want them to be friends first and also i want the slow burn of it all