#this helps me learn alot about after effects

[haoeu]

Working on a silly little fnaf mv based off a vocaloid song. Some of my favorite assets

[01zfan]

summer | s. es

boyfriend!eunseok x virgin!reader | 4.4k words

a request i received about losing your virginity to your boyfriend eunseok. this is was really fun and incredibly tender to write as usual i got carried away…inspired by the song summer by the carters…anon i hope you like!

contains: nothing just very soft sex hehe

you didn’t know what time of day it was. all you knew was that the sun was awake, filtering through the thin curtain basking the soft bed you laid on in warmth. you thought about how cold it was at home, imagining yourself trudging along icy paths trying your best not to slip. but here, right now, you were at the sunny and warm beach on a vacation with your beautiful boyfriend. 

eunseok looked so peaceful next to you. you rubbed out the crease in between his eyebrows, brought on by stress and endless expectations. if it was one thing eunseok was good at, it was hiding how stressed he was. he was excellent at his job, but the constant need to perform at his best weighed down on him. he seemed to always forget he was so young with so many responsibilities. too many. so when he had an opportunity to release some of that stress with a break in his schedules, you practically had to beg him to do it. you could tell he was reluctant, but the moment he touched the bed of the resort he was out like a light. he slept like a baby, snoring and splayed out on the king sized bed. that was about 16 hours ago. you were starting to get worried that he might’ve slept himself to death. you laid your head on his chest, just to make sure his heart was still beating.

you could hear the steady rhythm of his heart. when you lifted your head off his chest you saw that eunseok was looking at you. his eyes were squinted adjusting to the light in the room. he started rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands and he let out a loud yawn. you yawned too by effect.

“what time is it?” eunseok asked sleepily. his outstretched arms rested on your body.

“i’m not sure. maybe like 10.” 

“it’s really light outside for the evening time though?” eunseok said, looking outside.

you looked up at him to see if he was joking or not. he had the look of confusion on his face while he looked towards the window.

“baby,” eunseok looked towards you. you couldn’t help but laugh at his confusion “i mean it’s 10 in the morning.”

immediately his eyes widened and he shot up from his spot in bed. you could tell he was still fatigued as reached to his phone for confirmation. he’s lucky you plugged it in for him while he was sleeping like a log. you were right about the time, only off by ten minutes.

“i really slept for fourteen hours?” he sounded amazed and a little horrified.

“it’s closer to sixteen hours, i think.” you say.

eunseok scratched the back of his head as he looked at you. after the initial shock from being asleep for so long subsided his eyes went back to being hooded and sleepy. you felt his exhaustion as he yawned again.

“i’m sorry i was asleep for so long.” eunseok said.

“you needed the rest. i dont mind laying in bed and this villa is so nice there was alot for me to do by myself. don’t apologize for catching up on your sleep.” you said.

it was true you were doing things on your own in the villa. you walked around, looking at the guest room that you knew neither of you would be using. it was funny being at this stage in your relationship with eunseok. it wasn’t like you guys were new to intimacy in any way, kissing and cuddling often. but without going all the way it still kind of felt like you two were still learning each other’s boundaries. but you both had this silent pact that the first time you would have sex it would be something special. so the guest room was something like a precaution, if one of you got tired of the other or a little overwhelmed you could go to that room as an escape. the room wasn’t necessary though; being with eunseok felt like you were on a permanent vacation—always smiling and always relaxed.

you ended up watching television on the couch for awhile. it took awhile clicking through the channels till you found something you liked. then you took a nap and read a book. you had food delivered, ordering two extra servings in case eunseok woke up as famished as you were. you would occasionally look to the bed, making sure eunseok was still alive. each time you looked at him he was in a new sleep position, chest rising and falling. you couldn’t look at him too long without getting embarrassed. seeing eunseok in a state of bless made you feel a little too settled, and you found yourself drifting to sleep too.

when you woke up in the middle of the night you almost launched out of bed. you and eunseok always would end up sleeping in a spooning position at night. it was a part of your nightly routine. there would be several positions you two would circulate through during the night, but something poking into your back pulled you out of your sleep. you turned around in eunseoks’ arms carefully, to not wake him up. he was still fast asleep. you lifted up the sheets and even in darkness you could make out the tent in your boyfriend’s boxers. 

it was hard waiting for the right moment to make a move to take things further. it was hard to find moments of intimacy together like this. somedays it felt like worked pulled you two in opposite directions. it didn’t help that you were shy; so shy to the point that it was usually eunseok who would make the first move. he was the one who kissed you first, the one who held your hand, the one that asked you out. you were grateful that he was always aware of your boundaries, taking good care of you at every turn. but there was something that started off as a tiny ember that stirred into a fire pit in the bottom of your stomach. 

your sexual frustration manifested in gripping eunseok a little tighter, going a little deeper when you kissed. it manifested in your gaze, one that was fixed on glimpses of his toned stomach for a little too long, or when he’d wear outfits you picked out for him. you were insatiable, and in moments like this you felt like your want would eat you alive. regardless of your skin feeling like it was on fire, you took pity on your tired boyfriend. you instead brushed hair away from his face, kissed his forehead, and cuddled back into him.

now it was morning and eunseok was looking at you and you felt that pit returning again.

“are you hungry?” eunseok asked. it felt barbaric to say that you were hungry but for something else. regardless it was true, especially when eunseok gave you a glimpse of his side profile while he looked at his phone.

“i had some food delivered. there’s extra in the fridge.” you said.

eunseok looked like he was considering getting up from bed. instead he put his phone down and turned back towards you, pulling you into an embrace. he peppered kisses all over your face and you laughed trying to kiss him a million times back.

“i just want to lay in bed with you all day,” eunseok said “but i want to go to the beach.”

you looked outside the flowing blinds to the beachfront. you couldn’t lie about feeling it call to you. eventually you were able to pull eunseok out of bed. you both ate, laughing over how long eunseok slept.

after eating, you guys changed into your swim attire and headed to the beach. your bikini fit perfectly. the way eunseok looked at you when you came out told you he wasn’t admiring the floral pattern of your bra.

“have i seen that set before,” eunseok said casually. you did a quick spin to show off everything. when you made your way around him again he had blush across his cheeks “i think i would’ve remembered it.”

“i’ve been hiding it. you like?” you say innocently. it feels like your heart is about to beat out of your chest.

eunseok starts walking over to you. he has a smile on his face, the type of smile that makes your face feel hot and your body feel fuzzy. 

“i like it alot actually.” eunseok says, standing in front of you. when you look up he gives you a simple peck on the cheek. he holds your hand as he leads you to the beach.

you and eunseok spend all day playing in the sand and drinking mai tai’s. you reflect on how happy you are to be here with him and to be his. the fire in your stomach burns for a different reason when you see him watching you carefully when you swim deeper from the shore. you beckon to him and he swims to you almost immediately. its like you two are alone in the center of the world floating around one another holding hands. 

“we’re like otters.” eunseok says. you can’t help but laugh at how serious he is when he says it. you don’t see it but eunseok looks at you laughing and a smile appears on his face.

you don’t return back to the villa until it’s dark. you both come back drained from the beach, the gentle waves lulling you to sleep. when you two lay on the bed you can still hear the waves crashing on the beach.

“i had alot of fun with you today.” you say. you lay next to eunseok on the bed. he still makes you so nervous you have to keep your eyes trained on something else when you get sentimental with him. you focus on the ceiling. you play with the hem of your night gown. 

“i had alot of fun too,” eunseok grabs your hand that plays with the hem of your dress. “sorry for sleeping. i’ve been so accustomed to working i didn’t know how tired my body was.”

you turn towards him, only to find out he was already looking at you.

“eunseok please don’t apologize. you overwork yourself. you deserve to sleep.” 

eunseok laid there looking at you. 

“do i have something on my face?” you said.

“i love you.” eunseok said simply. 

“i love you too.” you said back to him. 

eunseok sat up, at the end of the bed. he reached out his hand and pulled you into him.

“you actually do have something on your face.” eunseok said, looking at your lips.

“where?” you asked.

as his answer, eunseok went to your cheek and placed a kiss there. he pulled away laughing. he put a gentle hand on your neck, one that helped him tilt your head to the side.

“here too.” eunseok said placing a kiss on your jaw. he pulled away after that kiss, looking to you.

“what about here?” you asked, pointing at your neck. 

“mhmm.” eunseok laughed, kissing your neck. he stayed in that place and you could feel his hot tongue laving the area. you sighed contently, both of your hands going to grip his shoulders. he brought you closer, eventually his lips traveled to yours, placing a kiss. you were so excited you instantly deepen the kiss. you can’t get enough of feeling his tongue lick your lips, touching his tongue to yours. before you know it, you’re moaning into the kiss and eunseok bites your lip. he pulls away first, looking you up and down.

“a little pent up baby?” eunseok grips your thigh. he’s dangerously close to your center and you squirm under his touch. your mind can barely process all the things you want him to do to you. eunseok retreats his hand, bringing it down to your knee.

“you know, we don’t have to do anything. i’m more than happy to kiss you.” eunseok says, eyeing you carefully.

you slowly put your hands over eunseok’s and move them where they were before. you try tell him what you want through body language, that you want him to touch you all over. 

“i need to hear you say what you want,” eunseok says. “for me, please.” he smiles at you and all your nerves melt off your shoulders. you pull his hand even further up, until his hand rests in the space where you thigh and center meet.

“i want you so bad, eunseok.” you can barely say it above a whisper. 

eunseok hears you clearly and fully rests his hand over your heat. his lips attach to your neck and you gasp. your body is tingling in excitement. 

“i’ve wanted you for so long,” eunseok say in between kisses on your neck. “never wanted to pressure you baby but there were some nights all i wanted to do was show you how much i want to take care of you.” 

“me too,” you say. “but you already take such good care of me.” you pant. although your brain is already being consumed with eunseok, you cant act like he isn’t thinking of you every chance he gets. eunseok has a talent of being stoic and calm, but you can always feel him looking at you. the way he leads you through crowds of people with a gentle guiding hand on the small of your back. the way he always buys you a snack when he’s out, or something that reminds him of you. eunseok is never not taking you into consideration.

“i mean in a different way.” eunseok has a hand slightly underneath the hem of your shirt. he looks up to you from your neck. “can i show you?”

you nod your head and before you know it, eunseok is touching your breast. it shouldn’t feel so good, he’s touched you like this before. but the implication of more has you leaning your head back and whimpering. eunseok helps you lean your whole body back until you’re laying on the bed. he starts trailing kisses from your neck lower and lower down your body. you lift your shirt, giving him access to kiss your stomach. the whole time eunseok looks at you. you know it’s so he can be locked into your facial expressions, to give him an indicator of what’s too much and not enough. his gaze is only making you dizzier, amplifying all of his ministrations on you. your back is arching off the bed by the time he makes it to your mid thigh. 

he kisses and sucks on the skin, and you are trying to suppress the moans that threaten to spill out. eunseok smiles against your skin.

“you’re so cute.” he says as he continues down your body. eunseok kisses your calf and works his way to your feet. he massages and kisses your ankle. 

“you’re really taking your time.” you say.

“i want to kiss and worship every part of you. you’re perfect.” eunseok says simply. it’s just that easy for him to praise you. 

when eunseok finally starts working his way back up your legs, you feel like you’re about to jump out of your skin. when he gets to your mid-thigh, he stops and looks up at you.

“can you take your shorts off for me, baby?” eunseok asks. 

you nod quickly, lifting your hips off the bed so eunseok can help you. your shorts are placed on the bed next to you, and eunseok slightly pulls you towards him so your lower half is hanging off the edge of the bed. eunseok grabs your hand and pulls you up. once you’re sitting on the edge of the bed, he lowers himself back down in between your legs.

“i want to make you feel good.” eunseok says, looking at your unclothed center. he lifts your legs until your feet are resting on the edges of the bed frame. you lean back on your arms, trying not to pass out. eunseok’s proximity to your heat has you already seeing stars.

“please.” you say simply, not sure what you’re begging for.

without saying anything else, eunseok brings a finger to swipe up your vagina. he puts his glistening finger in his mouth. the sight has you leaning all the way back on the bed. you can feel eunseok place a kiss to your pussy. you feel his wet tongue, the same that was just in your mouth is now in places you’ve dreamed about it being. you look down at eunseok, and you can see him reaching for your hands. he grabs one of your hands to hold it, and he leads your other hand to his hair, so you can grip his brown hair. when you experimentally pull at his strands, he gets even more aggressive with eating you out, tonguing your vagina. you cant hold back your moans, especially when eunseok starts sucking on your clit and adds another finger. you can feel the fire that burns in your belly turn white and you grip eunseoks’ hand even tighter.

“eunseok i’m close.” you whimper. eunseok moans an mhmm into your pussy and pulls you closer. 

you barely have any stability as you let out a final moan. you ride into his face, and eunseok moves your legs to rest on his shoulders. you act purely on impulse trying to ride out the feeling of euphoria. you feel your thighs close in on eunseoks head and your back arches off the bed. he takes everything in stride, keeping his fingers inside of you and lips on your clit. 

you have to push him away with a weak hand before eunseok pulls away from you.

“you alright babe?” eunseok says it way to casually, especially with the bottom half of his face covered in you. all you can do is scoot yourself back on the bed and motion for him to come to you.

eunseok comes to you on the bed and pulls you into his chest. you kiss him, tasting what you two made together. you’re entranced by the taste of yourself on his tongue. you play with the waistband of his pants until you finally get the courage to dip your hand underneath. you grab his dick in your hand, experimentally squeezing. eunseok puts a hand up your shirt, squeezing your breast. you think about how you could stay like this forever, feeling up your boyfriend. you squeeze him a little tighter. eunseok pulls away.

“can i see it?” you ask. you’re pushing down his pants for him. “i think about it all the time.”

when you get eunseok’s pants off, you are surprised by his size. you never doubted he would be big based on how tall he was, but you had your doubts if you’d even be able to take it now. 

“you’re big.” you grab his length again, stroking him. eunseok leans back on the bed and lets out a sigh. he closes his eyes in bliss as you continue to stroke him. 

when you try to move your body down to his dick, to give eunseok the same thing he gave you, his eyes shoot open to look at you.

“i won’t last if you do that.” eunseok says.

“i want to, though.” you say. eunseok kisses your pout. he gathers your hair into his hand and does and light tug. he tuts and lets your hair fall back down.

“we have plenty of time for that later,” eunseok moves you from your side to your back. he reaches to the bedside drawer to pull out a condom.

“can i put it on you?” you say quickly. eunseok nods, handing you the foil packet.

you open up the packet and take out the latex condom. its a little slippery, you never thought they’d put lube on the condoms. you look to the condom and then to eunseok’s dick. you suddenly feel very unprepared. eunseok sits up and pinches the tip of the condom.

“you can put it on the tip then just roll it down.” eunseok says. you look at him and he has a smile on his face. you also noticed the creeping blush on his cheeks.

“how do you know that?” you ask.

“i actually watched a video.” eunseok says with a straight face. you can’t help but laugh at how serious it is and eunseok joins you.

you follow his instruction. while you roll the condom all down his shaft, eunseok kisses you. his hand gripping the sheets doesn’t go unnoticed. 

when you are done, eunseok leads you back down on the bed beside him. he brings himself on top of you. “i really want to be inside of you right now.”

although you are more than ready, in fact you’ve been ready, you can’t stop yourself from feeling a twinge of anxiety. what if he doesn’t fit? what if it doesn’t feel good? 

a million hypotheticals rush through your head. once eunseok kisses your forehead, it’s like they instantly disappear from your mind. he interlaces his fingers to yours before kissing the back of your hand. 

you grab eunseok’s length with a touch his throbbing in your hand. eunseok places his hand over yours and you both guide him to your entrance. once he’s there, you instinctively wrap your arms around him. he’s stable and solid above you, and you think about how he’s always someone you can lean on.

“i love you so much.” you say. you’re almost embarrassed, saying something that was meant for your inner thoughts. eunseok places a sweet kiss to your forehead.

“i love you, too.” eunseok says. he shifts an arm underneath you, so you two are chest to chest.

“tell me if it hurts. i’m going to go slow.” eunseok looks in your eyes. you nod back, trying to let out a deep breath and relax.

eunseok keeps his word as he slowly sinks into you. you cant stop yourself. you instinctively grip harder onto eunseok’s back, letting out a whine. you can’t lie and say it doesn’t feel uncomfortable as he stretches out your walls. eunseok drops his head into your neck as he keeps going. you hold onto him tighter, and eunseok makes a sound you’ve never heard him make when he’s all the way in.

“is this okay?” eunseok lifts his head from your neck to look at you.

“yeah.” you squeak. you can feel your walls close in on him because of the way he’s speaking to you and you can tell he feels it too because he lets out another one of those sounds. you feel driven to keep pulling that sound out of him; something between a groan and a gasp. you clench around him again.

“you’re so tight. holy shit.” eunseok says, dropping his head back into your neck. you can’t control the clenching now, your body acting on its own accord in response to eunseok. “can i keep going?”

“yes. please.”

when eunseok pulls his hips back to drive back into you just as slow, you abandon trying to be quiet. you feel sorry for your neighbors as you pants turn to moans when the uncomfortableness melts into pleasure. before you know it eunseok is rocking into you at a steady pace, and you can’t control the sounds you make anymore.

“that’s my girl.” eunseok says pulling back and snapping his hips into you. you moan and dig your nails into his back as a response.

“eunseok. k-keep going.” you say. you know he has no plans of stopping, but you might combust if eunseok pulls away from you.

his pace increases, and you feel a churning feeling all over. that fire had been put out what building up even more. the fire went around your whole body, and told you to hike your leg up over eunseok’s shoulder. 

the new angle has you seeing stars and leave eunseok moaning against your mouth when he tries to kiss you. he puts a hand on your thigh to help give you balance as his thrusts get deeper and deeper. 

“i’m close.” you moan.

“me too.” eunseok moans. he lets your leg fall back down and pulls you closely to him again. eunseok thrusts harder into you, and he drops a hand to rub revolutions on your clit. you hold onto his bicep, digging crescent moons into his skin.

eunseok kisses you all over. your mind is operating at half speed giving him delayed kisses back. all you can hear is eunseok telling you he loves you and compliments fall from his lips like it’s second nature. all you can think about is the sound of skin against skin. 

you wish you could tell him you were about to show him how well he had taken care of you, but your orgasm hits you like a wall of flowers. you clench around eunseok repeatedly and wrap your legs around his waist. eunseok only gives you a few more quick thrusts before he’s experiencing euphoria of his own. you both ride oh your highs, gasping and moaning against each other and you move your hips, trying to prolong the feeling. you can feel your boyfriend pulse inside of you one last time as his weight gets a little heavier on top of you.

when eunseok pulls back you take in all of his features again. his tousled hair, red cheeks and ears, the way his lips are all plump and swollen. you kiss him again, and keep kissing him until he pulls out of you.

eunseok keeps kissing you as he slides off the bed. he doesn’t break the kiss until he has to—to stand up and tie off his condom. he disappears into the bathroom but is back just as fast, getting into the sheets next to you.

eunseok find your pajama bottoms and helps put them back on you. you help him back into his pants. you both have the covers over you, making sure you both are comfortable. you both settle in next to each other, your head tucked underneath eunseoks’ chin. you think about all the things you want to say to him. how good he’s always made you feel and how much you love him. eunseok thinks about how beautiful you are inside and out, how being the thought of being apart from you makes him want to stay in this villa forever. instead, you both drift off to sleep listening to the waves crash on the sand.

[menacing-menace-rat]

Can I get platonic yandere headcanons for all of the founding members of the Justice League?

I definitely can! Also sorry it took me so long to get to this. I'm still learning about how the inbox stuff works.

I'm going to have to make this in parts because it's alot to look at with all 7 members. This is part 1 of ?

I'm gonna use the founding members from the animated universe. More members and I love Martian Manhunter. If you were looking for the Snyder universe let me know and I'll edit the post and add Cyborg for you. 🤗

Warnings: kidnapping, gaslighting, obsessive behavior, general yandere creep stuff.

Platonic yandere justice league members part 1

Superman

You were a scientist at LexCorp

After some questionable experiments you knew you had to blow the whistle

So you went to the Daily Planet.

That's where it all stared.

So smart with a kind heart, how could he not protect you?

He's deluded himself completely.

He can't see how he can be the villain in anyone's story let alone yours.

He's very aware of his own strength thankfully.

You are more of a risk to yourself than he is. At least physically 👀

You'd be moved to a farmhouse almost right away.

When it comes to kidnapping you, he has no self control, it's near instant.

he knows how fragile humans are and he refuses to take any chances.

No matter how much you pleaded with him it was no use.

He was the only one who could help you and stop Lex.

This man has a scary amount of patience. No amount of hitting or screaming is going to set him off.

He will subconsciously prolong any solution that would make Lex and his people less of a threat to you.

He'd insist on sharing a bed. If he was anyone else you'd be worried he would try something.

If he wanted that kind of thing from you, you knew he could just make you.

So you were pretty sure whatever this was it was at least a platonic infatuation.

At night he'd hold you so tight it was difficult to move.

A physical reminder of what you already felt inside, trapped.

There was no escaping that farm. Anywhere in the city he could hear you.

He'd hear the front door open or your panting as you tried to run for the nearest road.

He wouldn't allow any kind of phones or computers in the house.

Why would he? Need help? He'll be there faster than any cop. You are lonely? That's fine he'd love to have hour long talks about anything you want.

Batman

Your best bet is to play along for years maybe. How ever long it takes for him to maybe let you make a grocery run alone.

He found you on the streets. Maybe it was your sad eyes or your dirty face but he knew he had to take you in.

He'd tell himself he could help you learn to fight. That you'd make a great Robin.

Deep down he knew he'd never let you fight in any way.

He's not like Superman. He knows how much he cares for you is unhealthy. He knows it's wrong to take you in and effectively trap you in a huge manor but what else can he do?

He is a world class manipulator. He also has far less patience then Superman.

Too many escape attempts and he's going to make a plan.

He'd go as far as to allow you to "escape". Only to orchestrate some horrible traumatic event so he can find you and save you all over again.

Depending on how strong willed you were the worst it would be.

It was twisted and horrible but he almost craved reassuring you.

He loved your tears so long as they weren't for a real reason.

Bruce kept a tight lid on his emotions. You'd never see him lose it. He'd never show he was upset with you.

Despite this being a very unconventional child/parent relationship his go to punishment is normally grounding and lost of privileges.

You'd be home schooled of course.

He isn't all that hands on unsurprisingly.

He'd ask one of the other kids to keep en eye on you or even another justice league members.

Asking them for help wouldn't work.

The kids are on board with Bruce. Even if they weren't what could they do?

As for the other JL members he'd tell them you were mentally ill and confused.

He'd get his colleagues/friends admiration for being so selfless by raising a sick child and you'd just look crazy.

Bruce is not known for his affection but he does try.

If you are crying or screaming he might try and comfort you with a hug or by rubbing your back.

He's not the best at comforting words either but his little acts of kindness are where he shines

He'd do his best to make most of your days as structured and predictable as possible.

You'd be kept in the best health imaginable. whether you liked it or not.

Anything you can ask for he'd give you, so long as you don't ask for freedom.

He even makes time to tuck you in every night no matter your age.

If he has time he might even read to you.

You probably are never getting free of him and his kids but your best bet would be utilize the uncontrollable.

Batman is a planner. He likes to be able to predict things.

Try and wait till something goes majorly wrong.

All of Arkhams prisoners being released or an alien invasion are your only chances of slipping out of that place. You'd only get one shot though.

Diana isn't crazy right off the bat.

Wonder Woman

(This one might be the only non gender neutral one.)

You were an anthropologist given the rare opportunity to study the amazonians from the island of Themyscira.

She is cool under pressure and isn't easily impressed.

After so long of staying there she'd start to feel like you were her sister.

But once she's invested in you there is no going back.

She would follow you back to whatever city you called home.

She isn't shy about her sisterly love for you. There would be no mind games with her.

She respects you too much for that.

She is so direct about it she would likely just tell you, you were going to go back to the island with her and be with her forever.

Depending on your reaction towards her directness she may not even make you.

She might be okay with you just visiting. For a while at least.

She's confident and self assured.

If you liked being around her as much as she likes being around you things would be easy.

If not life was going to be hard and potentially painful.

Rejecting her affection and forthcomingness will break her heart.

She would blame herself and work to be better.

Unfortunately being better to her means giving you even less space.

She'd make you come back with her.

An island full of tall strong women all who listen to Diana's will.

You are not escaping.

She is near impossible to trick twice if you have already tried to get away from her.

That being said it wouldn't be all that bad.

She would be painfully gentle with you. So long as you just listen.

You are her little sister after all.

She differs from Kent and Bruce in a big way.

She would train you, she is pragmatic and understands one day she may not be there to protect you.

Long and rigorous training sessions would be the norm for a while.

On Themiscyra you'd have much more freedoms. You would even be able to walk around alone if you showed you can handle it.

Your happiness is her second priority after your safety.

She'd being you anything you wanted from your part of the world.

She would like for you to participate in amazonian traditions and customs but she'd never make you. Even if she wants to sometimes

She'd relish in watching you acclimate to her world.

She would insist her sisters treat you with the love and respect she feels you deserve.

Your only hope of escape would be to somehow get off the island and disappear.

Nothing sort of complete disappearance would work. If she ever caught you again you wouldn't be leaving that island for a second time.

More to come hopefully soon. There will be 2 or 3 parts in total not sure yet. Hope you enjoyed!

[tinydefector]

The Rung transfluid headcanon 😵‍💫 I already drink those daily 🤭

Could I offer up Sunder as being the new Monster Ultra flavor: Fantasy Ruby Red?

Oh the amount of headcannons I have over the transfluid atm is insane. I'm working on a Swerve fic for it atm. I wasn't actually expecting ,y silly shit post to get so much traction over the bots XD

So where I am in Australia energy drinks are limited in what you can find and today I'm in one of the cities so gonna see what lovelies I can find.

I had to go look up that monster and kinda went down a rabbit hole for Sunder and Rung

--------

Firstly. Rung

The first time Rung gets oral from you, it's just to blow off steam after a day, which just didn't turn out well. Man gets put through the ringer a lot with watching everyone else's mental health that sometimes he forgets to look after himself.

He's lent back in his chair venting softly one servo on the back of your head optics half lidded as he just watches, after all you had offered to help with stress relief after hearing a rumour from another human on board.

Rung is extremely high strung, so when your lips and fingers rotate between teasing his spike and pressing your face into his valve, he begins to figure something up.

It's only once he overloads and he's there optics closed debating getting up to clean up that he can still feel you eagerly cleaning up the mess.

And he just gets fixated on watching as you lick up his spike, transfluid covering your tongue and lips

He thinks its a one time thing until two days later he has you back between his thighs working him up for another overload and when he pulls you away because he doesn't want to make a mess and the protest you put up. Begging to taste him again

It is eventually a subject he takes to not just the medics but also the scientist, quite worried about the effects of it since Transfluid is. A by product of Energon. He learns that.

___

-no it isn't harmful to humans the same way energon is.

- aslong as you can limit your human on how much they consume as it can eventually give them energy sickness if they have to much 5-6 litres in a 24 time stamp

-the human body needs time to flush it out. Because it works very much the same as energy drinks if you have to much it can stop your heart or give you cardiac problems

-it's quite additive and companionable to human caffeinated drinks, and when the bots realise that there us a full meeting about the effects.

- energon seems to get converted into a very similar thing to taurine which is an amino acid containing sulphur but alot of the minerals and nutrients that Cybertronians live off from their treats, food sources and energon what adds in all the other things.

-Perceptor and ratchet discovered that Transfluid is better for human consumption than energy drinks not by a lot but more the fact you can consume more of it with less problems.

- and each bot seemed to have different 'flavours' and it becomes a full thing of asking their partner what they taste like. And eventually the 'flavour mods'

________________

And on the Case of Sunder I present to you these monsters as an offering as well.

So we have

Sunder : rehab strawberry lemonade/Ultra ruby red

Overload : rehab recovery watermelon

Senator shockwave: rehab green tea

Elita one: rehab pink lemonade

Chromia: rehab protean

Wheejack: rehab tea + lemonade

Wings : rehab gojo tea

Let me know if you would like to be added to tag list (tagged for every fic)

[uyuforu]

Jungkooks fs being famous is quite possible due to him having asteroid fama conjunct his DSC and bride asteroid.

I wanna know what you and ✌️ anon say about this.I'm really looking forward to your and ✌️ anon's post together because you guys work great as a team and you both seem very precise and on point with astrology predictions. I'm learning alot from you both. I'm a new astro boy so please dont judge me for the little guessing that i did.

Jungkook's Fama Asteroid in his Natal Chart + in his Briede Persona Chart

(idk about the gif lol)

What is the Asteroid Fama?

Asteroid Fama (408) is an asteroid discovered in 1895 by Max Wolf. It was named after the roman goddess Fama. It's used in astrology to represent fame in general. You can use it to know in what field you could be famous, and in your solar return chart, when you have more chance to blow up. It also represents rumors, lies and gossips.

-> Here, the anon is talking how it may effect on his FS as it conjunct the DSC, so I wanna talk about the Fama in his Natal but also on his BPC!

Jungkook's Fama in NC

Fama Cancer

-> Cancer Fama to me is like being born in fame. It's like always being part of Fame. JK entered the entertainment industry extremely young (12 yo), it feels a vibe of growing up in the fame. Fame is your home, your house, what you know because he literally grew up in it. It can also mean dreaming of fame since you are a child. His caring side, his nurturing side, him showing jealousy will. help him get fame. We all known how JK can be veryyyy jealous lol and it's part of his popularity, let's not lie. He is a very relatable person and this helped a lot in his fame. He feels like everyone can get along with him, he feels like he is a safe person. This is why people love him so much. He appreciates things naturally. Fama cancer also makes the person being protected more easily. Fans, Army, even other BTS members, he will also be the baby of everyone. If he shows his cute side, fame will be even more easy for him (and it did happen!) This placement may signify JK's mom wanted him to be famous.

Fama in 7H

-> His fame being in the 7H literally means contracts are important for JK. Signing the right contracts will make him blow up (literally what happened). The 7H is connected to Libra, making him famous also for his look, attractiveness, his charm. He will be known for how he looks. Or his look will help him gain fame. People can be very interested and talk a lot about his appearance. Relationships are also a big theme with the 7H. People will spread a lot or rumors about it, and talk about it often. And it can mean JK will often be known for iconic look, outfits, etc. Being married will make JK even more famous. It also means meeting a lot of love interests during fame. It also means that he naturally make people love him. Having good contacts is also a factor here.

Fama 7°

-> Beauty, charm and fashion are important factors. JK will be known for his face, his style, his fashion, his charming appearance and personality. He will give the illusion to be perfect in a sense, this is also why many people thought he was libra rising before. His Fame persona is literally full of libra placements. The 7° is also pulled but music and art. This makes the native good at making art and music and making them famous for it. Not even surprised lmao.

Fama Conjunct DC

-> SO, this placement has something to do with his FS of course. But, it also has something to do with him first. This placement is literally meaning getting married to fame. JK will never escape fame anymore. He got in very young but will always be famous. He can't go back! That's a good thing in a way he has never to be worry about if it will stop one day (and Fama also aspects his sun), but it's also a curse. It means he will never be able to have a full private life.

Jungkook's Fama in NC about his FS

Fama Conjunct (exactly) DC

-> So, Fama conjunct DC can indicate also having a famous Bride. I always felt like his FS will be famous in the future. Maybe not right now as today, but in the future. She has a lot of placements in JK's BPC that indicates fame. She is meant to be famous one day! It can also mean having a famous marriage, or being a famous married couple.

Fama Conjunct Briede Asteroid

-> Literally marriying a famous person. Bride will be famous when they will be married. JK might meet her when she is famous and marry her. It doesn't feel like she will get famous because of him. But fame might get even more significant for both once they are together.

Fama Square Venus

-> Fame might be difficult for JK generally for his love life. His love life is complicated because of his fame. It can also means a lot of gossips and rumors go around because of it. And JK suffers about that placement. It also means, related to his FS, that a lot of rumors and gossips will make his FS be the victim. She will be treated like shit by the public at first. People literally hate any girls that get close to JK, what did you expect?

Fama Semi-sextile Juno

-> A famous love! It means their love story will be famous. This part is 100% my interpretation. Love life of JK is famous, but Juno is the asteroid which represents FS, love of your life. So JK and FS's love story will be known to the public. It's like Kate and William or Brad and Jen's/ Angelina's type of love story. The kind of stories that people talked about a thousand time, everyone knows what happened.

Jungkook's Fama in his BPC

Fama Leo

-> Sooo, how many times did I tell you she is meant to be famous? A LOT. This is the n°1 indicator of fame. Michael Jackson has this placement. Fame is your destiny girl. And it also means fame will go well with her. Like she will shine even more for being famous. Her personality, her confidence, her talents, her smile, everything like that will make her famous. She might be very charming and charismatic. People talk about her easily, and she has a lot of admirers. Even without being famous, many people can have a crush on her, or people might tell her often how she is an example for them in their life. Success is easy to her, and she might attracts luck easily. You can't compete with her, she will always win! And so this placement also indicates people easily being jealous of you. But because the sun is in Cancer in JK's BPC, it might be that she is too innocent to understand why? She might not get why people are jealous of her because she has a natural carrying nature.

Fama 11H

-> High level status, big popularity among people, People around her might feel like she is popular, or she always has been popular before. She is just famous for being who she is. Friends can play along, the people she hang out with can make her famous, or she can be famous for having friends. Or once she is famous, people will say "ah yes JKFS has a lot of friends", something like that lol. She might be a bit special, unique, or something about her will make her stand out in the crowd. She might be known for being "weird", very different from others and standing to it. She is not trying to fade into the mass, and that could add to her popularity. Because Fama is in Leo, it's just natural for her to be popular wherever she goes. She just attracts people's eyes. She may belong to certain communities that make her famous too. Gaining fame on social medias is big there. She could be known for being very relatable or friendly. Or even stubborn lmao.

Fama 8°

-> Michael Jackson also has this placement lmao byyeee. 8° is connected to scorpio, so death, wealth, manifestation, enemies, secrets, jealousy, sex, etc. Many people will be jealous of her for sure. The public might hate her because she naturally attracts a lot and others might feel like she is "stealing" something from them. She might also be famous for being secretive. People will obsess with her and talk about her a lot. They might be very interested in her, and want to be part of her private life.

Fama Semi-Sextile North Node

-> Literally part of her destiny. I wanna say that fame has to do with her soul purpose in this life. Fame might help her in her duty, or it's just part of it. She won't escape this part.

Mercury Conjunct Fama

-> Speeches or voice is part of the fame. She could be famous for her voice, either it's singing or just taking. Her speeches could be famous, or she will be famous for something she said. Her expressions also. Or it can also be her knowledges in languages. This can also mean people will often talk about her. Many rumors and gossips are on its way. People will just love to gossip about her. And it means whatever she does, it's like it'll be on national news.

Sun Semi-Sextile Fama

-> Shine bright like a diamond. Literally. She'll have lights on her. It's like she was made for fame. She can handle it well. It can also mean she always dreamed to be famous. Since it's also in Leo, it can be very much a desire of hers. Or she always daydreamed about it.

Fama Semi-Sextile ASC

-> Can be famous for her appearance. I already told you before (and many others tarot readers said the same) she will be often talked about her look. People will talk about how she looks, it can be praising her look, her outfits, her make up but also talking sh*t about her. She will be famous for her beauty. Something about her looks so so good. It can also be rumors concerning her appearance (pregnancy, surgeries, etc.)

Thank you for reading!

back to index ; ask ; requests ; rules

[affectionatecorpse]

Alright so I replayed Shadow of the Colossus and I'm being totally normal about Dormin /s sooo I'm gonna say my opinion on the "if they are evil or not" argument.

Now before I get into my interpretation, I just wanna say, I respect everyone's opinion on the matter. That's the point of a story, to read between the lines and come to your own conclusion, to form your own thoughts on it. However you see Dormin as a character is valid. But let's keep things nice and peaceful, yeah?

Right off the bat, I don't believe Dormin is evil. Morally gray, perhaps, but they don't really do anything significantly EVIL. The most evil thing they probably do in game is order the extermination of the Colossi, which yeah, okay, fair enough, is kinda unfair. But people seem to forget that these Colossi ARE Dormin. They are all pieces of them left behind after their downfall. By killing the Colossi, you're simply returning the fragments back to where they came from; the very person who wants them back.

We don't know why Dormin was sealed away, but a common theme in human history is fearing the things that are stronger than us. From what it seems regarding Dormin's powers in life and death, Wander is not the first person to approach them for help playing with mortality. It's very likely Dormin was sealed away because of their power, or perhaps because of a bad side effect that they probably warned about beforehand.

Which brings me onto the fact Wander suffered greatly for what he did. But Dormin DID warn him. They warned him several times in fact. He chose to do it anyway, and Dormin let him make that mistake himself. After all, mistakes are important, they help us learn. But Dormin never disrespects his decision. They're sympathetic to his motivation, whereas most entities might not care about 'just another mortal'. But Dormin very clearly shows empathy towards the predicament Wander is going through, and honours that wish through and through.

In fact, they go above and beyond for Wander's efforts. The deal was to bring Mono back to life when back at full strength. But assuming the theory that the eagle is Dormin is actually true, they also keep a close eye on Wander. They watch over him. It may also be safe to assume that Dormin is the one to bring Wander back every time he collapses, as that magic is in fact theirs, which is not something they were ever obligated to do. They could've just let him find his own way back after waking up, but he's never left out in the open for too long.

Let's not forget, they also took responsibility for Wander getting hurt in the final battle. They claimed to 'borrow' his body in order to fight a fair battle, perhaps to avoid the unfair advantage they had against a group of humans. When Wander got caught up in their resealing, they could've let him die, as they go back to their life of solitude and wait for someone else to free them again. But they don't. They spend whatever power they have left to bring Wander back, something they really didn't have to do. And that's probably why he came back a baby, because they didn't have alot of time (or power) left to heal him fully.

Which is also the case with Agro. Let's be honest here, nothing could survive that fall. Not a human, and definitely not a horse. These things get all their bones broken if you so much as look at them wrong, do we seriously thing Agro just got up and walked away after that drop? Even if there was water at the bottom, that height would destroy her, or at the very least knock her out, which would again mean she drowned. Not to mention how she got back up to the top remarkably fast despite there being no clear path. So with all that in mind, it's highly likely it was actually Dormin who helped Agro. Which again, they wouldn't be obligated to do by any means.

Dormin is by no means a golden character. But I don't think they were evil. There is so, so much to take into consideration, and so many incidents that simply could not be solved without them acting selflessly. They never even blame Wander for being sealed away again, they never get mad about it at all. Any energy that could be spent on frustration, they instead use to keep Wander, Mono and Agro alive in the end.

Though don't get me wrong, I don't think there's any villain in that story. Not Wander, not Dormin, and not Lord Emon. Each person was simply doing what they felt they had to, and unfortunately, this resulted in an unresolved yet hopeful end to the story.

TL;DR: Dormin is an incredible character to read between the lines of, but any interpretation of them is valid nonetheless.

[ystrike1]

I Worked Myself to Death and Reincarnated as the Queen of His Majesty, Who is Younger than Me! - By Ononata Manimani (8/10)

I've had this on the back burner for a while. Yandere confirmed! This is a reincarnation story with some cuteness, some creepiness, ghosts and good art. It's a wacky story with alot of unexpected elements, like the ghost thing, which is a main plot point.

Emi is a painfully average office worker. She woke up sick then she went to work. She got sicker. She hasn't had a lover in 3 years, and she's not close to her family.

Her death is kind of brutal. She gets a sharp pain in her head after days without getting treated. She works for a "black company" that will fire her if she dares to go to the doctor. She dies with nothing but regret, and when she awakens she sees a handsome man.

It's her husband, King Theodore. Emi has been reincarnated into the body of Princess Emilia, Theodore's first wife. Emi crawls out of her coffin. Theodore picks her up, and he decides to use her. In this world reincarnated people are a sign of disaster. Emi will be burned to death by a mob if the truth comes out. She has to be a good wife or else...

Wait...Emilia is still alive...kinda. Emi got the body, but the spirit of Emilia is floating around her. Ok, so what does this mean? Emilia's spirit is a side effect. It's what happens when a foreign spirit like Emi steals a body. Emilia could turn into an evil spirit, and bring forth calamity. Theodore wants to destroy her, but Emi befriends her instead.

Theodore isn't a very romantic guy. He's a practical, workaholic king. His reincarnated wife is interesting, so he lets her live...for now.

Theodore softens up pretty fast, but he still isn't very romantic until like chapter 4. I wasn't sure if he was a yandere for a while. He's very childish around Emi. Emi is willing to be a good Queen in order to live a comfortable life, but that doesn't mean love is on the table. Emilia and Theodore were in a loveless marriage. Emi does not pursue Theodore. He eventually comes after her.

Sidenote. Theodore is the strongest magician. He has a ton of scary powers, but he's overworked. He will die if he doesn't learn how to let his guard down. Emi is pretty nice, and she can also see that Theodore is an effective King. She doesn't want him to die, and she doesn't want Emilia to become an evil spirit.

Emilia becomes her best friend by the way. It's kinda weird, but cute...Emilia is a brat though. I roll my eyes when she rants about men and romance.

There's a lot of culture shock in this. King Theodore rules over a polygamous kingdom. Emilia didn't have to be by his side. She actually wanted him to bring in another princess. Emi is more traditional. She never wants to fall for Theodore, because she doesn't want to share the one she loves.

(She is willing to be one of the queens and enjoy a wealthy life though lol...)

Theodore proposes once more after he promises to be faithful.

After the proposal Theodore becomes very jealous. He hates Emilia. He wants Emi to care about him. No one else. He even gets jealous when she compliments the servants.

It's easy to see why Theodore is a yandere. Emi is his friend. Possibly the first friend he has ever had fun with. He is a work machine, but Emi is able to break down his barriers. She knows how bad overworking is, and her earnest attempts to help him are pretty cute. Theodore also isn't an overly toxic yandere... mostly...they are married...and he kind of has a point...

Emi makes up a ton of excuses, but Theodore thinks a loving royal marriage will bring happiness and prosperity to the whole country.

...he's absolutely right. Emilia was a total brat content to hide in her personal castle. Emi is a dutiful queen. A love match with her husband can only be a good thing...but sigh...ugh...Emi is insecure because her previous life sucked etc.

This is pretty complex for a reincarnation story, and the yandere isn't a boring cookie-cutter villain.

[ddlcbrainrot]

re: Monika Bad Person Something I think about alot with Monika is how, fundementally, she is a good person but good people are capable of being bad, as we see in base game. I do think though that Side stories shows us where are actions from base game came from, that they werent from nowhere but rather its her natural flaws taken to their extreme in an extreme situation. Like one of the biggest flaws about Monika is her need for control, we see this plain as day in side stories. While we know she means well there, Respect shows how her need for control and for things to go with her vision can end up causing issues. She also in general has a "oh I can fix it!" attitude that can clash with Natsuki and Yuri. And I think whats so fascinating about it is the fact that those traits are also in base game. But the problem with base game monika is that shes in a completely different situation and thus the flaws she so typically falls back on are used in even greater effect. She needs to control the situation so she can escape and just be the ONE for once. She makes a plan and follows it and thinks that itll 100% work in her favor because it HAS to. She "fixes" things in a way that SHE thinks is right. Another thing with her issues with control is how she feels the need to 'control' how others feel about her, in the sense that she is VERY good at hiding her feelings and her thoughts and putting up a mask. (Honestly it what makes her such a great foil to Sayori but thats something else) I think a thing is when writing Monika is alot of stories are post game, so post when she realizes she fucked up BIG time. But even then, I think that when monikas flaws should still show up. Shes someone who sticks in her own head and goes with her own plans, and in a post game setting it can appear as her thinking shes helping the others, but she just isnt because she refuses to just talk or ask. Actually one of my favorite examples of a post game story that shows Monika still being very flawed, and shows how her trauma can manifest is on tumblr! Doki Doki Literature Girls has such a good Monika because even though she trying to do better, she still has that nihilism from before, she still tries and do things her way, she still yearns for love from the outside even tho she knows it can never happen. But theres now her acknowledging that she cares about the others and thus theres alot of learning for her to go through.

This is a long ass ramble, I just love writing Monika and her mindset, shes so *shakes her like a soda can*. Also wanna say your art is super good, thank you for the gay people. (Also side thing because I wanna be silly, Total if you see this cause this will probably pass your fyp, hiiiii, you know who this is :))

this is a comment i made a WHILE back, crazy how you start this ask with such a similar opinion

the base game is basically giving a control freak peefectionist the power to control the entire universe. Or, the illusion of control anyway. I think the reason she is more chill in Act 1 is bc she herself thinks she is in charge. The more time passes, the more she slowly understands that even if she can control every part of the game, she cannot control who the player chooses. And not being in control of the one thing she wants, talking to a real person, kinda pivots her to Act 2. Also, she does in fact think that she knows best in every way. Very arrogant of her, but while i do think it is kind of her ego talking it also mostly again falls under her need to be in control of situations. Monika's relationship with control is so interesting and complex that i can't talk about it without slowly going "hhhhhsggggghh monika character cool :("

Most fics do take place after the game so i get that, by this time, Monika has had her character development so her acting shitty towards the girls doesn't really make sense. I will say though becoming a better person takes time, its not as simple as "Wow, something showed me i was being an asshole, i won't ever act like that again". So, having her accidentally fall back into her previous attitude would not be that out of character. Plus, her being way harder on herself bc of the guilt? And maybe do some self sabotaging little moves? Yeah.

Haven't seen doki doki literature girls, but i have heard good things about it. Maybe I'll check it out!

Thank you for the compliment, i try my best lol. And thanks for the ask too btw, im always down to talk about Monika

( well i might have an idea of who you are too, if it is you then you seem super cool. Also, Total (im assuming you mean TotalFormage) you are super cool too )

[grokebaby]

Explaining this scene (from here)

Will mention mouth and throat inflicted violence and dissection. Also will get (slightly) more in detail about what's happening between these two

Context: Pesticinger has Siru come to her neck of the woods at night to perform certain rituals. It claims these are for ~Learning Purposes~ (which they are, in a way). This is related to that thing about folks wanting to learn and gain powers from Pesticinger. Siru's motives for being here, well.. I'll get into it later.

This exchange you see depicted, happens after Siru has cut out the tongue and/or vocal chords off of several animals (which includes birds. This is a crucial bit of info). Before this she also had to catch several of them with occasional help from Pesticinger, so she's a little tired, on top of it being quite a uh. Let's say emotionally challenging? Task? Especially seeing as how she also had to eat said body parts raw after cutting them out..

She's a country girl, she'll manage..

Despite the initial ick, Siru performed all this like a champ! At least compared to alot of humans Pesticinger has initiated into similar activities. This is what prompts the above "She's good at games! Bold, very bold she is!", which is genuine compliments given the situation.

So while Siru did All That™, Pesticinger hopped circles around her, chanting songs and urging her on (is it encouragement or pressuring...? I would say it's both.)

Considering the unpleasant tasks she's had to do, while it simply sang and watched, Siru feels it's appropriate to poke at Pesticinger a little. She has a very deadpan delivery and morbid sense of humor, which is why Pesticinger here is depicted as being taken aback and even unsure whether or not Siru is joking at first. These two have quite contrasting presentations and speech mannerisms.

What did Siru say?

She pulled a little "So, I'm guessing it's your turn next, right? I mean I've been building up with these small creatures so the grande finale's next, and that would mean.. You."

(you can see in the drawing, she's lazily pointing at Pesticinger)

I'm paraphrasing, but she essentially implied that to take it to the next level, she should now also cut out Pesticingers tongue and vocal chords, and eat them. Which, Pesticinger was not prepared for. This is supposed to be an initiation progress, and breaking previous limits Pesticingers followers might've had, in order to bring them in deep. In terms of gaining special abilities, this does ofc contribute to that, but lemme just say, Pesticinger losing her vocal components would be a huge blow.

Let me put it into perspective. People ordinarily do not hear Pesticingers speaking voice. When she sings yes, but when speaking normally, it looks like she's just moving her mouth elaborately. If she's not singing, or stealing somebody else's voice, Pesticinger is like watching a silent film irl. She has no voice of her own.

The other Plagues can hear her speech, and so can Pesti's followers, and most people who've heard her special song before. Not everyone, though. It tends to be a special occurrence, bc if someone can hear her speech it tends to mean something is a little wrong.. (ykno, how cursed songs are)

Siru could always hear it's speech, and that's likely due to her carrying some.. (glances at my previous post) supernatural after effects.

Siru eventually broke face and chuckled it away, but Pesticinger, in all honesty, remains a little unsettled by the suggestion. She doesn't let it show of course. Not to Siru, especially.

But, yeah. Maybe a bit of a power move to joke about inflicting it on the scary entity next, who's trying to break your limits by making you do disturbing rituals. As you do

[hollowthatfollowssme]

✩｡:*•.❁ Welcome To My Blog❁.•*:｡✩

About Me Height: 5’2” HW: 182-lbs

CW:126.6-lbs

UGW: 105-lbs

I am 26 y/o college graduate who works full-time. Was recovered for a while but relapsed in 2021 after hitting HW. I got married April 2024 to the love of my life. I am Gluten Intolerant and have a very sensitive stomach. I love K-pop, fashion, kitting, early 2000s TV, cooking, fitness, smoking weed, and anything related to online tea. Absolutely obsessed with trying new diet soda flavors. I have been disordered since the age of 15 and have gone through ana, mia, and BED over the years Proudly Self Harm free since 2018!

What's the Point of This Blog?

When I relapsed in 2021, I discovered pro-ana forums for the first time and I learned that there is a sub-section of proana that is actually pro-harm reduction. I resonated with it because I am not ready for help nor is it an option without losing my job and everything I worked hard for. I feel like I have no choice but to manage my symptoms and reduce the harm to my health the best I can on my own, and I am FAR from being the only person with an ED who feels like this. Many of us have a lot to lose if we seek treatment and that very fact prevents us from seeking help. The next best thing we can do for ourselves is change how we see and interact with disordered thoughts. Instead of starving yourself because you want to disappear, what if you tried to slowly and steadily lose weight so that you can do something you always denied yourself, something that you always told yourself you weigh too much to do? I know from experience, that losing weight quick and dirty only makes you feel worse and DOESN'T LAST once you start to eat "normally" again. Sustainable lifestyle changes are the only way to prevent loose skin, stay on track with a bingeing problem, and keep your metabolism and hormones from going out of wack, (reducing the negative symptoms and long-term health effects of ED.) If you don't believe it's possible, I have lost over 60+lbs while struggling with Bingeing over the course 18 months and have maintained that loss for about 1 year with absolutely no period regain. I went from a US dress size 14 to a size 6 and in the last year that I have stayed 120lbs, I now fit into a size 4 from body recomposition.

How Did You Do It?

1. Address negative thoughts when you can, when you say sweeping statements like "I always mess up" or "Everyone hates me" Challenge those thoughts with facts. Is that really true or does it just feel that way in the moment? Be honest with yourself. Motivation is always coming and going and you can't rely on self-hate to keep you on your diet, people who hate themselves rarely take good care of themselves and stay on track.

2. You don't have to eat low res to lose weight, instead create a proper and sustainable calorie deficit. Use this link to find your BMR and look at the activity level to see how many calories you really burn in a day, most anas underestimate this number. Whatever that BMR number is, subtract 500 calories, this will give you the amount you can eat and still lose 1 lb per week! 3500cals of deficit = 1 lb of loss. 1 lb per week sounds slow but having consistent loss week after week is so healing for someone who has alot of ups and downs emotionally from weight fluxs. If that sounds like you, give slower loss a shot! 3. Stop punishing yourself and find things that you enjoy instead. If you are taking away food to punish yourself or using increased exercise to punish yourself, you are actively sabotaging the only things that help you with weight loss. If you use those things as punishments, you are less likely to want to do them AT ALL. It's so important to find an enjoyable exercise that you look forward to and that relieves stress. Exercise is there to help you maintain your health/weight and using it as a punishment takes all the joy away from it and makes it into a chore you dread and avoid. Instead of taking away food, focus on buying higher quality food in smaller portions, you will find it tastes better and you look forward to planning your meals around those ingredients. 4. Eat high volume low calorie whole foods. Alot of packaged "health" food is just as bad as junk food, they just put a trendy-looking design on the package and the word "natural" slapped on it. before you buy or eat anything you need to be looking at the label on the back. If you want to feel more satisfied with your meals, try to get at least 60g of protein a day and avoid food that is calorically dense especially when you don't have access to a food scale. Try to eat more foods that contain one ingredient and when eating a full meal, try to fill your plate with 2 large servings of vegetables, one serving of protein, and one small serving of a grain or starchy vegetable. This ratio of food helps you feel full and keeps the calories low! If you have any more questions feel free to use my inbox! If you need help to reduce harm and feel like you are beyond helping yourself, please get help from a trusted loved one. Your well-being is worth more than what ever trouble you might get in asking for help. Nothing you did could ever warrant or make you deserve to not live. You are worthy of love and good health and I hope this helps you get a step closer to that.

[4townlove]

4⭐ Town Headcanons : Song for Each Member's Solo Career

Now im sure im not the only one that considers 4Town ever disbanding to be a nightmare that should never come true, but, in the hypothetical that it did (WHICH IT WONT EVER) these are the songs I think each would write and perform:

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⭐Robaire : Leave The Door Open by Bruno Mars, Anderson.Paak & Silk Sonic

Robaire fully embodies the charm and velvetine swagger of this song to a degree where its almost annoying, but I can't deny he's perfect for this vibe. I can just see that stupid perfect smile of his as he sings it. UGH !!! no matter how many times i hear this song, i cant help but get carried up in its energy and that is exactly the effect Robaire has always had on 4Town fans and the new ones who will enjoy his more mature turn at music.

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⭐ Jesse : Stick Season by Noah Kahan

Ok maybe I'm a little biased because Jesse is my man and I've been obsessed with this album lately but i really think Jesse would strip everything back and become a really homey, heartfelt to the point it breaks, tender and honest music. I just love the image of him in a flannel with a guitar just strummin away and sat on the hood of his old car, singing about whats on his mind and in his heart. gosh i love my sweet man (and go check out this artists whole album its soulcrushingly good)

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⭐Taeyoung : Promise by Jimin

i know its very on the nose to say that Taeyoung would do kpop after 4Town disbands, but i have a theory about this. I think after 4Town ends, Taeyoung would "retire" as an artist, bidding his farewells to the limelight and settling into a normal life where he can focus on his passion for animal rescue, maybe even setting up his own sanctuary and going to school to learn more about caring for and studying animals. but then, after maybe a decade of nothing, Tae would drop one final song, maybe on the 10 year anniversary of 4Towns end and it would flood the world. and this song i think is perfect for how he would feel if he made a song alone.

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⭐Aaron T : In The Heights

Now, maybe I'm jumping a bit but this kind of Lin Manuel Miranda style broadway, started with his take on Hamilton, where its got alot of hiphop influence just SCREAMS Aaron T to me. his energy, expressiveness and being known for being the fast-talking, bounce off the walls member i think lends to modern broadway so damn well, and for this song especially, he would be Usnavi obviously, and would have so much personality that he carries the whole show by himself.

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⭐Aaron Z : Cracker Island by Gorillaz

okok hear me out on this one, similar yo Taeyoung, i think Z would take a break from performing after 4Town splits up just to have some downtime and fihure out life outside the band, but then, he'd come back not to sing but to PRODUCE songs. he'd be one of those artists who releases a song once every 4-5 years and it takes the world by storm so hard the hype lasts til he comes back. anf for me, this electric synth-punk is something i could see him making. very grungy and dirty electro/retrowave sound that would set the world on fire. he's got the same cool and funky swag that this song especially i think just glows with.

[athena-swords]

KNOWLEDGEABLE STUFF

disclaimer: maybe you dont wanna read if you dont have the time to read it.

RANDOM facts and info about vedic astrology,tarot,western too ig, occult , energy work , witch craft and plamistry

okay so ever thought how people during vedic time used to know about the astronomy?? like its my biggest question 

manyyy people in here ignore the number of similarity of  Aries and Pisces  people its more you know internal thing like the  care and love and kind of mental level working is same. my aries and pisces people do share it.

where ever  is mars in your house you could see that  you keep that house ruled body part stimulated or want stimulation there even in fall 

so if you wanna improve your planet effect  then most simple way is to eat the food ingredient it rules very effective and simple

okay so was studying why taurus sign is so much connected to food and ya got the answer but for that you gotta know a lil bit of vedic astrology

the moon is  janam nakhshatra that is birth and its natural house in second house  which is taurus so the reason why many of them are great with stuffs related to food as second house also talks about food.

its less talked about but fire sign people will be able to connect 2 and 2 quickely 

there essence  is to consume   be it knowledge,energy, fortune,wealth but there is always a catch the law of nature is  gonna play

remember people when you consume something its all depends on your investment or amount of efforts.

ahm so for all the tarot readers out there there is a simple question I have do you all get messages or visuals when you think about any one’s question even after being done with their reading long time ago.

the colour most prominent  in the whole spread can help you know alot.

its more of my thing but before doing any reading for someone just greet the divine self in them it will help you familiarize with the energy and  ease the reading

the person receiving the reading well  I wanna specify that all the readers read the cards sometimes its more the channeling and less the cards and vice versa so dont get confuse yaa

and to not ask those question which you very much know you can  change like how will your exam go,will you be able to go or not believe me if the reading is not as you expected you will got even try reeaching there and will be stuck .this stuffs can easliy change with little bit of your belief and on working towards it.

your decks too love care and a bit of attention so dont forget to praise and nurture them.

when making your own cards  you should think of it as your canvas like dont make it on from some rulebook 

there is literally nothing a pinch of salt cant fix be it your food or people energy.

keep your loved ones photo frame on south west direction brings lotsss of happiness and peace at home

people who feel closed to moon in any form or are Mahadev bhakt should try doing a small ritual during full moon be it affirmations candle magic or healing bath.

when you feel that you are feeling really lonely and down take three people name who you are grateful for having including you  and why just one reason is also enough

cloves are really a magic ingredient if you have some financial issue going on take some salt some ONLY in a small container keep 3 cloves in it and keep it in a place where no one usually goes in your house and tada things will get better.

I know some more but it can be misused so for now this much is enough

       So have been learning palmistry from a long time and I am quite confident so would try to do some for sure and some more stuffs that would need part 2 ig.

Take everyone grow and live your 

har har mahadev

[soapsinthebox]

Ok, um, I'm here to bother you about upside down magic

Which of the udm class kid's power was the most interesting to you? Like, which one made you think the most? Which one did you lie in bed thinking about 'how would that work? How would that affect my life if that was me?'

WOOOOHere we Gooo

if i had to choose, probably marigolds or Baxes. their powers before its development in their books was just so... terrifying. sticks and stones has always been my favorite book in the series because of the questions it asks. what would happen if marigold shrunk a person? yes her victim did get back to normal size but what if their body couldn't ingest the drugs given, what if like, said person was someone like bax who couldn't turn back to normal after transforming. would he just spend his days being a boulder forever, while marigold has to live with the guilt and shame that action has caused to both the families and their friends? on the topic of bax,he can now turn into things like pianos or chairs and have some level of control over them, what happens if he gets strong enough to turn into things like statues, buildings? towns, planets even? we also have seen the drugs Bax uses (bretel bax was the name i think?) to its maximum extent. what if that drug was in usage after bax learned things like chairs or pianos? would tge whole place just turn into chair land or smth? and how can we predict the new drug wont have the same if not worse effects? ughhhh THESE BOOKS MAKE ME CRAZY-

the question of "how would that effect me" is a pretty interesting one because i actually relate to marigold alot. having something "wrong" within you thats unlike anything else both you or those around you have seen is such a MOOD, and i admire the writing team for writing a character like mari. if i had marigolds power, i honestly dont think id be any different then how i am now? just with the added benefit of yknow, shrinking everything and everyone around me till i am the most distrusted person in the world and everyone is afraid of me lmao-

bax tho, hits a bit different

i think the thing that would impact my life the most positively is just being able to opt out of stressful or unwanted situations whenever i please. just... taking a break from humanity for a bit and becoming a boulder could fix me i think

for the most negatively, probably how id be treated compared to my pears. the scene with coach and nori in sticks and stones hits differently now that im older. with the adult in the situation prioritizing helping nori instead of bax not out of malice, but because he just didn't know what to make of him i SO-

anyway i hope u understood this ask correctly, thank you for listening to my silly rambles ^^ sorry if this is a little incoherent i kinda just... screamed into my keyboard for twenty minutes lol.

[molluskmirage]

tips and tricks I have learned in my 9 years of being mostly bedridden from ME/CFS

the first 5 years of illness was a battle and hellscape I physically dont have the capacity to process emotionally and if thats were your at as well your incredible friend, I have finally managed to get security payments and a place to live (much to be desired but its way way away from the dire circumstances I was under for years. my heart goes out to those in situations I was in)

Tip number 1:

-reframing and restructuring my goals and expectations

I was able to do this by saying that sick me is different then able bodied me. Sick me is accomplished for each day they make it to the next day. It also comes from recognizing the ‘idols’ or those that came before me in my same position and looking up to them and gleaning their knowledge. Jessica Kellegren-Fozard has been this idol for me. She goes about life with grace, love and wonder and has taught me alot on how to navigate a disabled life and to love it and have fun with it.

tip 2:

-discovering what limits my body has and keeping within those parameters (no matter how pitiful or limited it may feel) staying inside the limits means I can do more overall and refrain from boom and bust crashes

tip 3:

-REST DAYS. what an abled bodied person can accomplish in a day I might be able to do in a week. Do something one day then the next day rest. Rinse and repeat.

tip 4:

-if you ignored rest days or simply find yourself in a crash the adrenaline kick you get that makes you feel like you have energy and should do something is a trap, rest. Rest day for you! If you’ve rested and rested and rested and feel the worst youve ever felt and so hopeless that youll never return to even your base line that is the day before you are actually getting better, keep resting and cheer yourself on and comfort yourself your doing amazing.

tip 5:

-get any aid device you feel you need, (even if you feel like well maybe I dont need it maybe im just exaggerating. No. If it’s reasonably priced or you can get it through other means do. Aids are great) I love my cane. I love my rollater. Love my eyemask. Love my eyepatch. Love my shower stool. Love my sunglasses. Love my stand that holds my phone. Love my medicine bag. Love my trays that hold my miscellaneous aid tools. Love my humidifier and heater. Love my weighted blanket. Love my fidget toys and my kalimba. Would love to see if an oxygen tank might help not sure on how to go about that yet and would love a wheelchair but would need a motorized one and cant afford it (also for me I wouldn’t be able to use it much because i cant sit up for long)

tip 6:

-drinking electrolytes after my roughly weekly shower. This was a game changer for me really helped recovery rest day. Coconut water, lemon juice, gatorade, salt water, all good choices.

tip 7:

-celebrating my accomplishments. I choose to do this on the ‘birth’ of my sick self. The date of my illness was very clear and its a date I wont forget so why not make it a party to celebrate what Ive done throughout the year. Always when I approach this day I feel so down on myself because it often feels like I do literally nothing but lay in bed but when I actively go through the months and things I did on top of the victory of surviving another year I find Ive done much more then I give credit for and im so proud of myself.

tip 8:

-my weighted blanket is the greatest thing in the world. (This one may not apply for others as it can be rough to manage the heft but for me whose been an insomniac my entire life this absolutely changed my life and I can not sleep any other way, I feel like a door to door ((floor to floor)) salesman because all I want to do is share the good news)

tip 9:

-gaming has made a big impact for my social and emotional health and im very pleased and surprised by how much it has a positive effect. Very fortunately I was able to buy a device for a form fitting keypad and mouse its really great and made gaming possible with less pain.

tip 10:

-Keep a few food bars/snacks by bed.

this concludes my list off the top of my head. my eyes are getting tired now so I shall rest. Rest well other chronically ill friends!

[mewintheflesh-2]

MORE NIGHTSKY MIKEY HEADCANONS AND ALSO (MAINLY) WINONA HEADCANONS (and other related things LMAO. Mostly under the cut. And also mostly about before Nikey lost.)

Winona is the main leader in the rebellion against Nightsky. She’s seen as a symbol of hope and light by most anyone. She hates her ex husband with all fibers of her being and wishes he would return to how he was before Paldea.

She is very lonely and sorrowful but will not show it for the sake of the others who need hope and guidance from her.

She’s pretty much carrying the weight of the world on her back.

She had black hair with gold highlights <3 that was before she left though, she ended up dying her hair white with blue highlights instead. She’s so so so so so so pretty. (More under the cut, ALOT MORE)

Does not want pity from anyone, something she shares in common with Nikey

Would often say Nikey was the sun in her sky back before Nightsky as a form of endearment.

Nikey in the past tended to wear his heart on his sleeve to his detriment. After Paldea he had to learn how to effectively hide his emotions which was very hard for him after so long of just, not even trying to mask anything.

Autism galore. BY THE WAY.

(Joke) after the divorce Winona got together with me instead <3

Winona is very great with children and is concerned about them growing up in the smog covered Earth instead of how they should be.

Food shortages are common and constant due to crops not getting the sun they need. Plants and crops are commonly grown in hidden underground facilities, as ordered by Winona. They’re grown with heat lamps.

As you can imagine oxygen is also low due to trees not getting sun they need, though it’s not as low as it could be since ALOT of oxygen comes from the oceans plants.

Speaking of water, Nikey hoards most of the worlds clean drinking water for his members.

A lot of people resort to joining Nightsky as a desperate resort to trying to live normally again. It’s kind of like one of those war tactics to starve the enemy into giving up. But Winona and her followers are resilient

Also it’s basically a 50/50 of you evolve your eevee into Umbreon or Espeon because you literally CANNOT tell if it’s night or day. This applies to all time sensitive evolutions.

The world is very similar to how the Ultra Megaopolis is (Necrozma’s world, if you’re unaware.), with only artificial light.

The people who still live on the Earth’s surface are called The Sun’s Children. But it might as well be the name of the rebellion. You’re either a child of the sun or you’re with Nikey.

Winona has many of The Sun’s Children’s scientists working for her to help purify undrinkable waters, to help grow sustainable amounts of crops, and to help feed livestock with the plants they need. Anything to build sustainable life on Earth again. (Yes she is working with Archie and Maxie)

Zyguarde fucking hates Nikey, Xerneas hates Nikey, Solgaleo hates him, Lunala hates him, Zacian hates him, Zamazenta hates him, Calyrex hates him, Zarude hates him. The legendary birds hate him (not the galarian ones. Except for Zapdos. Zapdos hates him too.), Mewtwo hates him. Ho-oh and Lugia hate him, Celebi hates him, Groudon and Kyogre hate him but are scared of Rayquaza, Jirachi hates him, Deoxys doesn’t care, Palkia and Dialga are in their own dimensions and are indifferent, same for Arceus and Giratina, the Shaymin hate him, Reshiram hates him, Victini hates him, and Diancie hates him. Most all legendaries fucking hate him LMAO.

Winona may or may not have a woman she has a crush on. It’s one of her colleagues. She’s v pretty and so much better for Winona than Nikey. The woman also kind of has a crush on her too. Did I mention how pretty Winona is?

Winona refuses to wear anything to due with Team Sky (old team sky) even if it was from before the corruption of her ex-husband. Such an intense heartache for what she’s lost, she has a hard time dealing with it. She craves that freedom with all of her heart. She won’t let herself get too into feeling her feelings about it, since she feels she’ll be worse as a leader if she does. People are counting on her. There’s a lot of pressure on her.

She desperately wants to love and to be loved again romantically. It took her awhile to crack open again and allow herself to love people even platonically.

Tossed (fucking threw) her old wedding ring into the ocean. Doesn’t know where it is, doesn’t want to. Also HATES gold and black together on clothes

Also just realized a plot hole in the original Nightsky story. How the fuck did Skydios become shiny. Did Nikey just fuck up the time travel so bad he just went to an alternate reality? Might just add that to the list. This is getting very long so I might make another post for headcanons later!

[beevean]

I like Amy, but I'm just not a fan of alot of her more recent portayals. In Frontiers, IDW, and Prime (especially with Thorn) I wasn't a fan of her. However, I did like her in Tmosth. Tbh that's the only recent Amy portayal were I thought "Yes, this is Amy. Where have you been?"

I wonder if it's the lingering effects of Boom Amy (in the show, can't speak for the games), who was rewritten to be more "with the times". And even she had her moments of silliness because the show was a comedy first and foremost.

Amy in IDW is fine for the most part. If I made a tier list of characters that were mangled in the comics, I'd put her in uhhh B or C tier. The biggest issue with her is how easily she panicks and defers after relinquishing her authority post-MVA. She also has some weird moments like her begging Sonic to join the Restoration through the entirety of #2, or having to ask Cream how to stay hopeful, or that hammer scene I talked about. But overall, she's her good ol' self, and I like her chemistry with Sonic (it helps that with her he's not a flaming dick :D)

Frontiers... oh boy. Dead-inside voice direction aside... I get the idea of her defending the Kocos, I really do. It's supposed to call back her insistence to protect the birdie in SA1, including pestering Sonic over it. But girl you're putting them above Tails????? "Are you telling me you would leave behind someone in need?" Tails is trapped! He has priority! The Kocos aren't gonna die or suffer if Sonic takes a little longer! I see what they were going for, I really do, and I like the idea of Sonic and Amy having different visions (Sonic's being broader while Amy's being narrower - again, this fits with the birdie subplot in SA1), but not when Tails is suffering somewhere and she knows it! And I ranted enough about the game pretending that Amy needs to learn the lesson of how to share love in the world. bro. bro c'mon.

And I can't speak about Prime and I haven't seen the scenes with Prime Amy, but I struggle to believe that someone thought that Thorn, the girl who made people nearly starved because they were cutting trees the wrong way, was sympathetic.