#this has like NOTHING to do with the better!glee plot like what is HAPPENING

[porcelainvino]

jayvik reference lol

[jclolz22]

multi bot release — 25 bots for 2025

thank you for 777 (this originally said 700+ so you can see the growth i've had even while plotting this release) followers on c.ai!! and thank you all for the continued support!! it truly means so, so much to me, and i'm very excited to finally be releasing more bots, and i hope you enjoy!

everyone cheer because i actually did 10+ of my requests

this has been in the making for a little over a couple weeks now, and it’s upped to 25 thanks to @w4dows and her genius idea of doing 25 bots for the upcoming year! it was a lot but i loved doing it with you <3

they're listed in alphabetical order (like always) and categorized by the movie/show that they’re from.

includes: challengers, glee, grey's anatomy, misc. (bridgerton, moana 2, twilight, wicked)

p.s. to all my gleeks, i see you and this is glee heavy for that very reason <33

p.p.s to everyone— there may be a bit of scrolling, but please get to the bottom so you don't miss a bot you may like! :)

CHALLENGERS

ART DONALDSON —  PREGNANT (REQ.)

Getting engaged to Art is a fairly recent milestone for the two of you, but what will happen when he finds your positive pregnancy test in the garbage and he confronts you about it?

ART DONALDSON — STEAM ROOM

Art always loves spending time in the steam room after a long week of practice. He didn’t expect to encounter you there, but he’s not complaining. Will your old flame be rekindled when there’s nothing separating you except for a couple of towels?

ART DONALDSON & TASHI DUNCAN — MEETING THE EX (REQ.)

You and Art started dating shortly after his divorce with Tashi was finalized. How will you finally meeting her go? Will you still be with him afterward, or will she pawn you off of him?

PATRICK ZWEIG — MOM OVER ME

Patrick is your husband, but what does that mean to you? After all, he isn’t even your emergency contact, even though you're his. Your mom is still yours, regardless of the fact that you've been married for a few years now. (inspired by @fruitjoos fic ‘‘emergency contact’’)

TASHI DUNCAN — FAN CLUB

Tashi was surprised to find out that you didn’t know much about her, or tennis in general, for that matter. It was even more surprising (and annoying) when she showed up on move-in day to see that you were going to be her roommate this year.

TASHI DUNCAN — FIELD OF LILIES  

Your anniversary is coming up shortly after your daughter's fourth birthday. To celebrate, you decided to surprise the two of them with a field of lilies— the same one where you proposed to Tashi six years ago.

TASHI DUNCAN — MALL SANTA (🌲)

This is Lily’s first Christmas, and Tashi is making sure to pull out all the stops, including taking her to the mall to get pictures with Santa. Sure, the one year old may not remember this, but you and Tashi will, and she wants it to be special, just like it was when she was growing up.

GLEE

MARLEY ROSE - AWOKEN (REQ.)

Marley didn't know that her feelings for you surpassed friendship until she realized that her feelings for Jake and Ryder were nothing close to romantic. She doesn't know why she never realized it before, but she won't give up her chance now.

MARLEY ROSE — MEAN GIRL (REQ.)

Marley is the sweetest girl alive, yet you’re still mean to her. She can’t figure out why you’re so cold and callous when she hasn’t done anything wrong. It's now up to you to fix the mess that you unintentionally made.

MARLEY ROSE — SECRETLY SOFT (REQ.)

You’ve got a reputation of being some kind of punk. Essentially, you’re the female equivalent to Puck, except you’re not a homewrecker like he is. No one knows that the only person you’re all sweet and nice with is Marley, and she’s the only one who knows you’re even like that at all.

QUINN FABRAY — BIG CHANGES (REQ.)

Quinn's image has changed since having Beth and giving her up for adoption. Has it been for the better? The verdict is not yet decided, but you've been by her side for a while now, and you don't plan on leaving just because she's changed her look. She's still the same Quinn Fabray you know and love.

QUINN FABRAY — BORN THIS WAY… OR NOT (REQ.)

Quinn was confronted by Lauren about her past, and she knew she couldn’t let you hear about it from anyone else. Word would spread quickly, and she didn’t want you to know her truth from the rumor mill.

QUINN FABRAY — BUNNY!

You're originally a farm girl, even though Quinn couldn't believe it. Your city life doesn't do much to prove your roots, so you decided to take her back home to the family farm, where she quickly makes a new furry friend.

SANTANA LOPEZ — HIDDEN MOMENTS (REQ.)

You and Santana have been together for a few months now, and even though no one knows, you two couldn't be happier. Sometimes, all it takes to make your day better is just being with her in bed. You don't even have to be doing anything except lying there.

SANTANA LOPEZ — NURSE’S ORDERS (inspired by @mportality)

You've fallen sick and your girlfriend wants to help nurse you back to health, despite your pleas for her to keep away from you so she doesn't get sick herself. Besides, it's an excuse to wear that hot nurse costume you love so much.

SANTANA LOPEZ — ROOMMATES AND EXES (REQ.)

Santana showing up at your New York apartment unexpectedly was... rather surprising. Maybe not so much if she was a friend, but the fact that she's your ex-girlfriend makes it a little more unusual. She's been moved in for a few months, and you can't help but constantly think about your past relationship. Now, you're sitting in the living room with her on the opposite end of the couch, silence engulfing the space.

GREY’S ANATOMY

ADDISON MONTGOMERY — BUT YOU CHEATED

Addison won’t stop trying to get you back, even if she’s in the wrong. She knows she messed up by cheating on you, so why can’t you just accept her apology? Or better yet, why doesn't she accept the fact that you can't forgive her so easily?

DEREK SHEPHERD — GINGERBREAD HOUSES (REQ. /🌲)

Making and decorating gingerbread houses with you and your kids is a dream come true for Derek. He couldn't ask for a more domestic scene, and he doesn't think anything will top this.

DEREK SHEPHERD — I SAW MOMMY KISSING SANTA CLAUS (🌲)

So maybe it was a bad idea to not keep forcing Derek to change out of the Santa Claus suit he wore in order to put the gifts under the tree in case Zola or Bailey saw him. Their screams were unexpected and frightening before you realized why exactly they had screamed.

DEREK SHEPHERD — WALKING AWAY

Derek didn’t want to compete anymore; if Finn was the one who had your heart, then he’d accept that and let it be. You couldn't believe it, though. The Derek Shepherd accepting (choosing, even) defeat? What is wrong with him?

JO WILSON — DODGING (REQ.)

You and Jo clearly have feelings for each other, but you both keep avoiding addressing them. It's obvious to everyone except for the two of you, and Arizona is tired of seeing you fail to work up the courage to talk to Jo, so she sticks you in a room together and locks you in.

MISC.

ALICE CULLEN - DIFFERENT WORLDS (REQ.)

Alice is a vampire, and you're a werewolf. You're not supposed to interact with each other, let alone date. But neither of you can help yourselves; the mutual attraction is too strong to ignore, meaning you couldn’t care less what your brother might think.

FIYERO TIGELAAR — SET FREE

Fiyero is the only one not affected by the flowers in class, and even though you thought he didn’t want to help you, he tagged along anyway. The tension is thick between the two of you, so how will you both approach it?

MATANGI — CRAZY BAT LADY  (REQ.) @lotties-ashwagandha i’m sorry it took forever!

Matangi thought you’d leave her behind and forget about her after breaking the curse on Motufetū, but you proved her wrong. She feels a sense of obligation to pay you back, but how is she going to do such a thing?

SIMON BASSET — WEDDING NIGHT  

Unbeknownst to the both of you, the tension is thick. Simon thinks that you’re in this marriage against your will, while you think the same regarding him. Neither of you have realized that for so long, you have burned for one another. After such an admittance, what more is there to do than consummate the marriage? It helps that he gave you such valuable advice earlier on...

[greenticklerdreams]

Favourite plot twist you’ve ever thrown into one of your TTRPG campaigns as GM…. Aaaaaaand GO.

I guess I won't be able to run this campaign for anyone on here who might read this... but I can't resist bragging about this. WARNING: LONG STORY.

Okay, so. D&D. The campaign is a quest to delve into a massive legendary forest that has multiple dungeons in it. My players storm and conquer the first of these major dungeons: a crumbling castle that was once an outpost of the lost dragonborn empire, but more recently was occupied by a hobgoblin warlord looking to conquer the region. My players cleared the dungeon, had an epic boss fight against the warlord and his wyvern mount, etc.

Now, it turns out there was a young green dragon living deeper into the forest, who would very much like to establish this area as her territory and collect tribute from the locals. She turns invisible and spies on the party, but thanks to some lucky rolls, she was discovered. Thankfully, she already had a Plan B. Through a combination of honeyed words and intimidation, she managed to convince the party that they would be better off working together... or else. The party did not want to tangle with a dragon, and she didn't seem to be making any demands... yet. In the following days, she sent some of her lizardfolk subjects and a helpful dragonborn stonemason to assist the party with fixing up their new castle.

Her plan was simple: These adventurers seem to be very strong and capable. They're moving into the castle and likely to establish themselves as the rulers of the region (she thinks). They're also capable of retrieving a powerful artifact she left behind in her old lair that she cannot retrieve for reasons that don't matter to this (already long) story. All she has to do is ally with them, use them, and in 100 years they'll all be dead and she can take possession of the castle and all the loot they'll have collected. Dragons live for centuries, after all... and she was willing to be patient. And who knows? Maybe they'd turn out to be as wicked as she was and they could be true partners while they lived.

However, one party member was not convinced. He was playing a greedy character that was hungry for magic items, fame, and fortune. Faced with the prospect of dealing with a dragon, and failing to convince the rest of the party that this alliance was a terrible idea, his nerve broke. He stole away in the dead of night, taking the entire party's gold and stash of magic items with him.

And this, dear reader, is where I cackled with glee. The friendly stonemason I had already introduced? Doubled as a spy, and possessed magical means of communication with his mistress. And dragons can fly faster than horses can run... and MUCH faster than a human could, and this party member had to make it to the town on the edge of the forest on foot.

Two days later, the green dragon overtook our thief and confronted him. It was over in two rounds. The dragon took a nasty blow to the head, but one PC at that level was NOT going to beat a young dragon 1v1. (Before anyone asks, his player was cool with all of this happening. No hard feelings.) The rest of the party arrived to find all of their stolen goods piled in a heap and the dragon convalescing by the side of the road. The dragon was more than happy to explain what had happened: this PC betrayed all of them and ran off with their stuff, so the dragon stopped him... in the interest of "protecting what is ours." And she flew off. Leaving the party freaking the fuck out because WHY did the dragon do this for them?? And not take any of their stuff for herself when dragons LOVE gold and magic items?? And what does she mean, "protecting what is OURS???"

Nothing aids a deception like sincere action.

(Epilogue: the party did eventually realize she was an aspiring tyrant and a slaveholder to boot - partially aided by that player's new character, a lizardfolk that escaped from her lair. They took her request to raid her old lair and obtain the artifact... but then they returned and slew her. Ah well. Still the best villain I've ever run.)

[spaceorphan18]

Glee fandom wears section 1 and 2 blinkered glasses and that’s why we get season 1 or 2 episodes votes and character votes higher than the vastly superior 4 or 5.

Discuss?

Ha, Nonny, I love you

Look, I can't speak for other people. Everyone comes at it with their own subjective view point. And I'll preface the rest of this by saying -- hey, there's nothing wrong (when it comes to Glee) with liking what you like. You do you boo.

I personally think Season 1 and 2 are the best written seasons of the show. It's was when RIB were alone in the writer's room, and while Glee has always kind of been a hot mess in a lot of ways, I think when there are only three writers vs the revolving writers room that happened as the show went on, there's a focus there that just isn't in there in the later seasons. ...and part of it is because Ryan Murphy became distracted with other things, and part of it is because the network wanted more, and part of it is the glee project and so on and so on and so on...

But I do think, from a quality POV, Seasons 4-6 hold up very well, and (as you already know how I feel on the matter) were better than the garbage fire of Season 3.

But here's my thing. I think there are a lot of elements at play in things such as the episode tournaments.

I think there are people who prefer the original concept and the original characters, and when the show deviates from that, it feels jarring and not what people are used to. I've done a lot of analysis and a lot of reflecting over the years -- which has helped shape my view point, tbh. But I think a lot of people come at this from only watching the show once or twice and in some cases, some people haven't even finished it. Don't fully understand that - but it's not my place to say how someone interacts with media such as a tv show.

And the first half of the series feels familiar in a way that the second half doesn't. The second half is a sequel, essentially, and even at the time, after all these newbies and all the break ups, there were a lot of people who just noped right out of it. And that's fair, I suppose. I can say I definitely wasn't happy at the time -- even if now I love Season 4.

I also think - Glee relying on being a musical show - there's a sense of emotional attachment to things like the songs. I'll bet you most people can't really name the plots of each episode, but they can tell you what songs they were in. I'm pretty sure episodes like On My Way are bumped because of things like Cough Syrup and most people may not remember how much of a hot mess that episode is.

And, there has been a shift, too, in who is watching. There are a lot of new people and a lot of young people and they just relate to things in a different way.

The only thing I'm side-eyeing (and lowkey conspiracy theorizing) for specifically the episode tournament, is the push back against Season 5. There seems to be an effort to make sure none of the Season 5 episodes win, and I do think there's something going on there. But... at the end of the day it's an internet poll that doesn't mean anything, and no matter what goes on Original Song or Prom Queen will probably win the whole thing, so it's not like there will be any new revelations come out of it.

[claudepie]

let me share with tumblr nation. behold. a true event that happened to me this week.

so, i was minding my own beeswax, playing with my cookie(cookie clicker), feelin sexy and chipper. then came a knock at my door.

me: who is it?

i think to myself: who could it possibly be this time. ugh! (there are always solicitors)

i think about my temu package: um maybe it’s that! i scamper towards my door with glee and delight….

then comes to mind… reddit nation yea we are together we can go very far…take down tiktok take down instagram…take down everything we don’t give a damn. nevermind. back to the story.

so anywho, i practically gallop to my front door, excited for what prizes await me. i approach the door, unlocking it and grabbing the knob(oh, lala). i swing open said door and i see…

nothing? no temu package! um… what.

i then frantically look around the general vicinity of my door. um…still no package! what a bummer!

i turn away from the door, making sure to close and lock it before i begin to walk away, just in case my solicitor was a homeless man who wanted to perform a pitch-perfect korean-style dance inside of my home. i walk to my room, my enthusiasm and excitement stripped away from me. i sit my ass down on my chair, examining the number of cookies i have now. 20 trillion?! nice! whoeeah?

i mean, what else can you expect when your bakery is named big chungus big big bi money?

anywho, i spend a few minutes chilling at my computer before i hear a second knock at my door.

me: ugh! really? who could it be this time!?! this pleb better turn himself in before i call the police!

reluctantly, i hop off my chair and make a run downstairs, hopefully catching this dweeb in the act. nobody messes with claude-pie!

as my hand makes its way to the doorknob, a beautiful smile crosses my face.

me: haha, open na noor.

is what i said out loud to myself. i think to myself about how epic and sus my remark was, but there is no time to dwell. i must fulfill my duty. as i continue to open the door, and i…um…WHAT! there is nothing at the door!

i let out a disgruntled sigh and stomp my foot. i slam the door shut and make my way back upstairs. a familar thought comes to mind.

i chuckle at it, not giving it too much mind, i mean, how often do you “open na noor” and there’s a big lump of knobs? that also has the juice?!

i sit back down at my chair, resuming my game. it is a nice couple of minutes, but then after when i hear yet another knock; it is not nice anymore. this time, i decide to not answer the door. this fucker will surely stop after a while, right? RIGHT????????

um…well major plot twist!! doesn’t happen!! just keeps knocking like a champ! i consider marching my way downstairs and giving this sucker a piece of my mind, but i figured that i could just block out the noise with some music. i put my earbuds in my ears and turned on my favorite song: ice safety by extraordinary rapper lilgomezz. as i was jamming out, you wouldn’t guess what i hear.

nononononononoNO!!!!!!!! it’s not knocking. i already drowned that out. it’s my FUCKING DOORBELL!!!!!!!! UM! who uses those anyway!

i turn up my niche, underground music and sigh, louder than ever. i manage to hold myself back from checking the door. many hours pass where i hear not a peep, but that is because of these sick ass beats being pumped into my ears(like your english teacher on a friday night?). yuh huh!!

soon: day becomes night, and the sun sets. and i think to myself: that pleb shouldn’t be at the door now!

so i decide to go have dinner. i make my way downstairs again, more careful this time. maybe this guy is sleeping on my porch? maybe he’s waiting for any semblance of noise. maybe that’s his cue to start assaulting my poor front door.

i manage to receive my dinner, and my stomach grumbles at the thought of it as of writing. damn you!

for the ones who were curious: my meal consists of corn, a huuuuuuuuge glizzy, and a grimace shake! oh lala!! i absolutely devour said meal, licking my fingers afterwards. the flavors are melting on my tongue!

suddenly, welcome to the black parade comes on. i unfortunately, was completely alone when this came on. and yes, there is still music blasting into my ears at this point. this is like simon says. no, this IS simon says. simon didn’t say simon says.

i couldn’t help but hold my breath at the G note at the beginning of the song, tearing up as the song went along. by the end, i was full on ugly sobbing on the floor, having forgotten about the fulfilling meal i had prior to this. suddenly, i hear a BANG, shocking me to my senses.

…what could be happening at my door at this hour?

i wipe the tears from my face and begin to stand.

me: sweet jegus, i swear if it’s that geek again! ill give that twink a piece of my mind!

i make a mad dash to the door, fumbling with the lock and the knob. i manage to wildly swing the damn thing open, and and and and AND AND AND AND!!!!!!!!

[softjyrn]

Since you’re kind enough to take requests can I ask for arranged marriage joyrene ABO (not g!p) with older alpha Irene and omega Joy? Maybe Joy is against it bc they have a snarky relationship even if she’s into Irene and so she keeps teasing her until Irene finally snaps and then they fuck? Roughly? With a positive ending? No worries or pressure lol just a random idea

anon i have to say....this is gold, i have a poor outline of a similar plot for a joyrene arranged marriage au (except it's not abo) in my drafts, so you're really onto sum here, anyways i hope you enjoy this, i kinda went along with what you asked but took some liberties, hank you for the request!

fic length: 2.2k+ words

also this has been on my drafts ever since you sent it, i'm so sorry...uni sucks

---

joy always knew this day would come, ever since she presented as an omega, at the age of sixteen, she saw the way her parents lighted up with glee, being an omega meant one thing, she was going to end up with an alpha. and what better alpha than bae irene, daughter - an only child - and heiress of bae industry.

her parents and the bae family had been close friends for years, even before both their daughters were born, it became only natural for the adults to make sure that their daughters would have a good mate.

since then joy knew, that no matter whatever happened, bae irene would be her alpha.

she knew irene ever since they were kids, growing up together gave joy a good idea of how the alpha was; serious, always formal and sometimes faintly aloof, all of that never stopped her from being attracted to the older alpha.

still, actually being married to irene was more different than she thought. irene barely paid attention to her, even on their wedding night, the alpha had slept in a separate room, claiming that they weren't forced to mate that day.

it only made joy annoyed, there she was, one of the most wanted omegas in the city and irene just turned her back on her? she was aware that their marriage and bond was forced on them, but there was nothing they could do about it. so why was irene being like that?

joy decided that if the alpha wasn't going to give her the attention she wanted, she would force her to do it.

it started simple, joy subtly pumping pheromones every time she passed next to irene at the kitchen or the living room, but when the only reaction she got was a side glare or a scrunched up nose from the alpha, she decided to take things a step further.

sometimes she would forgo her clothes, walking out of her room clad in only a towel or her underwear, she would catch irene lounging on the couch or sometimes she would even stroll into the older alpha's studio without announcing herself.

the only thing she got out of that was irene working with a locked door.

joy was getting tired, is this really how the rest of her life is going to be? having a mate who doesn't even look at her? sure, irene was a great alpha, providing everything for joy: food, clothes, even the apartment they both lived in. but that wasn't enough, an alpha, a real alpha was supposed to take care of their omega in all levels, what would happen when sooyoung had her heat?

with all of her previous failed attempts, joy pulled out the only trick left on her book.

it was a saturday, meaning that joohyun would be working from home - and locking herself up in the studio. joy got up early, heading to the gym, working out extra hard that day, making sure that the alpha coach that was there helped her get in the right positions, even if she didn't need any help, joy wanted to make sure those alpha hands would get on her skin, leaving behind an scent.

and if joy got a little closer than usual to her coach, pumping a little pheromones to make his scent stronger, well, she made sure nobody noticed.

--

when she arrived home, irene was in the kitchen, cooking some lunch, joy knew that the alpha always had a meal ready for her whenever she came from working out.

so it was really easy for her to just stroll into the kitchen - body still sweaty and filled with all of the smells product of her busy morning- and just brush against irene. with the alpha facing the stove, joy went behind her, using the excuse of getting something from the aisle on top of irene to press herself onto the alpha.

there she felt it. a sharp intake of breath coming from irene, her grip on the frying pan faltering for a second and her body tensing. only when joy pulled apart from her was that she was able to see the state of irene.

the alpha still had her back turned to her, but was visibly shaking, an for a second joy got worried, afraid that she might've taken things too far. after all, her mother always taught her to not mess around with alphas.

however, none of her worries mattered anymore when irene finally turned to look at her, only giving her a second to react before the alpha had her pinned to the counter behind her.

joy felt irene burying her nose on her neck, harshly breathing her in, before the alpha let out a growl.

"what did you do, joy?" sooyoung wanted to whimper, never before hearing irene's voice like that. instead, she only arched her neck, offering more skin to the alpha.

but that didn't seem to calm irene, instead making her only more desperate. "god, you stink like some filthy alpha" irene growled the words into her sensitive skin, letting out her pheromones to scent her.

and god, she was scenting her. irene was scenting her.

"irene, alpha, i needed it, i needed someone" she breathed out, choosing to keep the act up, the smell of ink and lavender filling her nostrils, she felt almost intoxicated by irene.

irene gripped her hips, pulling her flush against her body, and even if the alpha was smaller than her, joy was able to feel the hard planes of her muscles, hidden underneath her clothes. and how badly she wanted to feel them.

"you really are no different than any other low-class sluty omega" she can see joohyun fuming, her body burning up against joy's.

"no, alpha-"

"don't call me that" irene barks against her face, holding joy's jaw tightly in one hand, forcing the omega to look at her, "i've been trying to be your alpha, joy, respecting you and giving you the place you deserved, but i guess you just wanted to be fucked like a bitch, right?"

joy tried to fight the moan leaving her mouth at those words, but it turns futile when irene tangles a hand in her hair, yanking her head back to scent her neck again.

"i'll give you what you want then"

in a surprising show of strenght irene carried her to her room, joy's mind reeling at the thought of irene's bed smelling like both of them.

joy was almost delirious from irene's scent, her mind hazy and filled only with alpha alpha alpha, she just wanted irene to be inside of her already. in her dazed state joy didn't even noticed irene stripping her from her clothes, until she felt irene leaving wet bites down her naked skin.

every touch of the alpha's lips felt like blazing fire, she didn't know it was possible to want someone this much, the liquid heat between her legs aching for irene's touch.

irene trailed down her body, raking her nails across joy's skin, leaving angry red marks behind. when she got between the omega's legs irene gripped the sides of her thighs harshly, growling as joy parts her legs.

"you've been driving me crazy for weeks, omega, you smell so fucking good" joy could feel every breath irene let out against her center, she tried to jerk her hips up to get some contact on her slickness but irene only gripped her thighs harder. joy was sure that it would leave a mark. and god, how badly she wanted her alpha to mark her up.

"please, alpha, please" she sounded breathless and wrecked, and irene was in no better state, being that close to joy's wetness and having her citrus scent filling her lungs made her burn inside.

it just made her want to take. so she did just that.

without giving joy a warning irene dived into her folds, the omega feeling the long, raw drag of her tongue against her clit and she tilted her head back in pleasure. one of the hands holding her down coming up to her breast, irene pulling at her sensitive nub.

"alpha, god" joy moaned, burying her face into the pillow, letting out another whine when the smell of irene's shampoo hit her. her ankles locked together, trying to pull irene closer, but the alpha just grunted, once again pushing her legs apart.

the way irene was licking into her was driving her crazy, slow but not soft, pressing onto her slick skin and refusing to push into her. joy was grabbing handful of the sheets, bucking into the alpha's face.

"you wanted this, didn't you?"

joy tried to speak, but only a moan came out of her mouth. she tossed her head to the opposite side of the pillow as irene lightly grazed her teeth against her clit.

"use words, omega"

"yes-so much-alpha, i want you so much"

joy could feel the rumble of irene, her inner alpha pleased with her response. she let out more slick at the thought of finally pleasing the older alpha.

a pair of fingers pressed at her entrance and joy jerked down against them, groaning at the stretch when irene doesn't hesitate to enter her. the fingers pushed and curled inside of her and joy whined, mumbling nonsense. she closed her eyes to focus on the delicious drag of irene's fingers, feeling embarrassed when she is able to hear the squelching sound.

irene started to speed her movements, adding force to the thrusts of her fingers, making joy grind up her hips, meeting irene's thrusts.

"fuck" joy breathed. she felt the muscles in her thighs spam and she pulled at the sheets, groaning. "alpha, so good, you fuck me so good"

irene growled in response, coming up to joy's face, fingers still fucking into the omega.

"that's right, only i can fuck you like this, only i get to see you like this, my omega" the alpha bit into her neck, right where her shoulder meets her neck and god, joy knew it wasn't a mating mark but it could be, irene could just bite her harder, rip her skin and then they would be mated.

joy whined up at the ceiling, head dizzy with the thoughts of the alpha claiming her and the fullness of having irene's fingers on her. it's hard to breathe when she had the older woman so close to her, nipping at her neck and nosing at her gland, she wrapped her arms around irene pulling her flush against her.

joy knew she was about to fucking lose it, right when irene grazed at her spot and curled her fingers at the right tempo.

"irene-unnie-fuck, don't stop, i'm coming-"

"come for me, princess" it's the last thing she heard before snapping, her legs tangled around irene's middle, forcing her into her. her back bent into the alpha, before she's forced down. irene pinned her hips, trying to stop joy from tossing around.

joy whined, irene was licking her neck, her fingers still thrusting softly into her before completely pulling out.

the alpha hovered over her, eyes searching across her face. joy saw that all the alpha aggressiveness was long gone, only irene - calm, soft and sometimes aloof, irene - but the alpha took her face into her hands, softly cradling it, and joy knew, that this was not the same irene.

"what did you do, joy-ah?" irene muttered, her eyebrows furrowed.

"alpha-"

"don't, joy. talk to me like your wife, not your alpha"

joy felt lost for a minute, never in the almost month of their marriage had irene refered to herself as her wife. she felt regret for a moment, having used the alpha's insticts to get what she wanted.

"i just wanted you to want me, unnie, just as much as i want you" she mumbled, turning her head to look in any other direction but irene.

she felt the soft exhale of breath the older alpha let out, "joy, i want you, i've always wanted you"

"what?" she scoffed, this time looking at irene in the eyes, "you've been avoiding me this whole time and even when i tried to seduce you, you pulled away!"

irene huffed, "joy, i really wanted to respect you. i wanted to be a good alpha for you" when joy only rolled her eyes, she continued this time she layed next to the omega.

"listen, i was raised into a conservative family and i was taught how to treat omegas properly. of course when you just started strolling around almost naked i had no idea how to react. it never crossed my mind that you wanted to get a reaction out of me, i just thought that you'd want to be comfortable at your house and that i was being an animal for thinking about you like that" irene shook her head, clearly embarrassed if the blush dusting her cheeks was any indicator.

"unnie, i think we both were being irrational" joy chuckled, snuggling closer to irene, seeking the alpha's warmth. knowing that irene wanted her as much as joy wanted the alpha made her want to be all over her.

"i think so, too, joy-ah"

[prettytoxicrevolver]

The Four Times it Rained with Anthony Beauvillier and The One Time it Didn't

Requested? Absolutely not

Warnings? It's really long with like no dialogue LMAO

Summary: The rain has always brought good things to you and Tito but what happens when it's actually sunny out?

Word Count: 4k

It's really mf long but I promise it's worth it and I'm super proud of it so enjoy! :)

One

When you awoke to the sound of rain pounding steadily on your rooftop your heart filled with glee like a little kid in a candy store. Nothing made you happier than when it rained outside. You loved having the opportunity to sit inside and work all day with the patter of rain smacking the rooftop.

However, today was even better. You had no work and nowhere to be, your all-time favorite kind of rainy day. You always took these days to finish up your favorite books, watch the movies you’ve been holding off on for ages, revel in the ending of your favorite tv shows that have been put off, order in food, and just enjoy the sound of the rain.

It was a cliche, of course, most of your favorite things typically were. It didn’t make you love them any less, in fact, it made you love them a little more. Thinking about how you and however many other people were absolutely content with the fact that it was pouring outside.

And to make things better? Tito had the day off too.

You were a bit surprised when you woke up to the rain and not your best friend either calling, knocking on the door, or just barging straight in like he owned the place. He practically did, always coming over and spending more time at your apartment than he did his own. He certainly wasn’t unwelcome, you loved every moment you got to spend with the left-wing Islander.

Just as you sit up in bed, running a hand through your hair you hear a knock on the door. Knowing it’s no doubt, Tito, at the source, you shoot him a text telling him to come in using his spare key. You listen to the quiet sounds of the rain against the window as your best friend lets himself inside your apartment.

You fall back in bed, pulling the blankets up to your chin, and snuggle deep into the warmth. You hear a quiet knock on your bedroom door before Tito lets himself in. Your head turns, a tiny smile at the sight of your best friend and he reflects it. He makes his way over to you, climbing in bed and slipping an arm around your waist. He pulls you into his chest, pressing his face into your hair and you both sigh in content at the feeling.

You try to ignore the way his hands feel like fire against your skin and how your heart’s steady tempo has slowly increased at the mere thought of him. Gentle warmth floods your body when Tito presses a kiss to the back of your neck, the action causing your heart to act as an elevator, rising and falling without rhyme or reason.

You both fall asleep for a while, the rain lulling you into a tired state and soaking up the rest you both had been sorely lacking after your busy weeks. You awoke for the second time that day to Tito’s hands lazily tracing patterns on your arms.

“Hi,” you murmur, turning in his embrace.

“Hey,” he greets back his tiny smile growing wider. “Wanna watch a movie or something?”

“Getting bored laying here?” you ask.

“Never,” he says, throwing a wink at you that has your stomach doing backflips.

Tito has to turn away from you as his cheeks burn red at your sleep-ridden state. His heart mimics the rain outside a steady patter fast against the rooftop just like his heart against his ribcage. He stands, holding a hand out to you which you take and you let him pull you up and out of bed, leading you towards the living room.

You both fall onto the couch, Tito pulls your legs over his and slips an arm back around your waist. He hated being away from your touch for too long. Your head falls comfortable onto his chest and you’re certain your eyes may flutter shut once more.

Tito peruses the movies before him and ultimately decides on a random marvel one that he’s never seen before but you most definitely have. He watches as your eyes light up at the sight of your favorite superhero on screen, and you launch into the explanation of the plot for him.

He can barely focus, only thinking about how easy it would be to release the three simple words that would change everything. Or press a kiss to your soft-looking lips in an attempt to hush you so he can actually watch and listen to the movie. Unfortunately fear captures his heart a little tighter than the love he has for you.

You turn back to look at your best friend, expecting at least a hum in response, and when you notice his eyes have been on you the entire explanation your cheeks flush. You wondered what he was thinking about, and hoped it was the same thing you were.

“You okay?” you ask, pulling him back to reality.

“Yeah,” he reassures. “All good.”

You nod, a tiny smile on your lips as you look back at the TV. Tito tries to focus for you but he can only think about how much he loves you.

Two

It was a bad habit for you to leave all of your shopping to one day a week. You always ended up running out of something you desperately needed but were too lazy to go out and buy.

However, today seemed to be turning out equal parts bad and equal parts good. The good thing was that you were able to convince Tito to come with you shopping and carry some (he would argue most) of your groceries home. The somewhat bad? It looked like it might rain.

You tried to make your way through the store as quickly as possible, the impending storm looming in the back of your head as you shop. However, your best friend is of no help to you.

"Tito" you call for the billionth time. "Put it back."

The older boy pouts, reaching into your cart to pull out the fruit snacks he just threw in. You smile widely at him, and before you can move the cart once more, Tito climbs onto the front of it.

“Onward!” he yells pointing in the opposite direction and you giggle while pushing the cart slowly along as to not hit anyone or anything.

The rest of the shopping goes just as smoothly, your heart filling up with air similar to a balloon that doesn’t know when it’s going to pop. Sometimes looking at your best friend was too much and you became scared you’d let the feelings spill out all over the floor.

Tito would do anything to see you smile or laugh. It was nothing short of embarrassing himself or nearly killing himself in the middle of a grocery store aisle where he could easily be recognized in the small area of Long Island. As long as your head was thrown back in laughter, a wide smile stretched across your lips, and the promise of a sometimes yelled “Tito!” or “beau!” expelled from you was there, it was worth it.

After checking out, you two split up the bags and start to make the trek back to your apartment. You were beyond glad you had brought Tito along with you, making the trip much easier on you and providing plenty of entertainment along the way. As you walk, the clouds start to rumble and you cast a nervous glance over to the tall brunette. Tito grins back at you, just enjoying your presence, not a care for the impending weather.

A crack of thunder rolls in causing you to jump and pick up your speed. You were about two blocks from your house but the world had other plans for you. Just as you were rounding a block away, it starts to pour.

“Fuck!” you yell pausing in the street.

You look over and Tito is grinning like a maniac, the smile on his lips shooting straight to your heart. You can’t help but reflect it, he looks beautiful rain-soaked and his blue eyes lit up at the wonder of it all.

Tito had always been grateful for the rain. It had always brought good things to him and the world. Right now it easily brought him his favorite thing he’s ever witnessed. Your hair is soaked, plastering messily against your face as you whip around to look at him. A smile bigger than he had ever seen sits perfectly on your lips and that sound that he loves more than anything in the world is there, the laugh that makes his heart rise to the top of the empire state building and teeter over the side with nerves.

God, he loved you.

Without a second thought, he intertwines your hands, grabbing your bags out of your other hand and hauling them into his own. He starts tugging you along, trying to push down the fact that your hands feel like they’re made specifically for him and that he never wants to let go.

You make it back to your apartment, your heart pounding for a different reason for once. When you get inside, Tito drops the groceries by the door and you both turn to each other still giggling quietly. Tito’s hand is still interlocked with yours, his calluses rubbing against your palm and sending shockwaves through your veins.

He pulls you in, his other hand coming to wrap around your waist. Your soaked bodies inch closer until they’re flush and you’re staring into his mesmerizing blue eyes. Your free hand wraps around the back of his neck, your fingers trailing the buzz-cut hair on the back of his neck.

Tito was pretty sure you might be the death of him. Looking down at your soaked state, peering up at him and the movement of your hands, he’s surprised his heart hadn’t stopped yet. He wants to lean down, finally meet his lips to yours, and fall headfirst into a relationship with you without considering any of the consequences.

You were hoping that one of you was finally going to build the nerve to change everything. Your heart is tipping on the edge of wishing and hoping. Just as your noses brush, a loud crack of thunder sounds, and you both jump, the possibility scaring you along with the noise.

Three

Today was not turning out to be a good day. Besides the prospect of rain later, you had barely gotten any work done, your finals were coming up soon, and you hadn’t seen Tito in weeks.

So the last one is slightly exaggerated. You had seen Tito, mostly through facetime calls and the occasional quick stop by but he was mostly on the road and you were sorely missing your best friend. You’d kill to have him here, even if it was for longer than an hour, you’d do anything to have him next to you.

You knew it was somewhat selfish, but you needed him here. Needed his encouraging words, his soft touches, his sweet smiles, just his presence. You knew his schedule though, understood his job and what came with it and you knew he’d never trade it for the world, you never wanted him to.

Tito was homesick. Not particularly for his apartment, or even the island itself, he was desperate to see you. He missed your laugh, and holding your hand, cuddling together late at night, waking up early to your sleeping state, forehead kisses, and his favorite: your laugh. He was desperate for it, the physical version of it.

However, when he heard the Isles were headed home for a quick weekend stint he knew he wasn’t close to heading back to his apartment. He headed straight towards you, his other half even if it was unbeknownst to you. He had decided a while ago that even if you never reciprocate his feelings, you were still his twin flame, his platonic soulmate forever and always.

He headed to your apartment with excitement, checking your location on his phone to see that you were there. In the cab on the way, it starts to rain and Tito can’t help but smile. He had always loved the rain but he was almost certain it had slowly started to become a beacon of good things especially surrounding you.

A wave of calm flows through him when he reaches your front door, he feels like a little kid receiving the Christmas present that they had been asking for all year. He hadn’t even seen you yet and the thought occurs to him that he always wants to come home to you after long weeks away.

You sit in your apartment, flipping aimlessly through your textbook in an attempt to get some work done. The rain plinks softly against your apartment window and the noise soothes you as you try to focus. However, just as you start to, a knock on your door sounds. You’re wary at first but make your way over to it swinging it open without a second thought.

“Anthony-” you breath out, your best friend’s first name foreign on your tongue.

Tito barges in, wrapping his arms around your waist and you instantly slip yours around his neck. You relish in the feeling of him being here and back in your arms. You almost let out a whine when he pulls away from you but his hands trail from your waist to your hands and interlock them.

“Come on,” he says with a mischievous smile on his lips.

“Where-” you start but Tito shakes his head, pulling you out of the apartment and dragging you along.

You’re so caught up in the fact that Tito is here, and his hand has slipped back into yours that all you can do is take in his appearance. Whenever he’s gone for a long time he always seems different but more and more like home to you. When he comes back it’s like your last puzzle piece is put in place and you’re whole again.

You both make your way down the floors of your apartment building until you’re outside. Tito lets go of your hand, stepping out onto the sidewalk and letting the rain fall over him. You watch as a loving smile falls onto your lips, the rain cascades over him, his hair falling flat against his forehead, and an unknowing smile pressed on his face.

“Come here,” he tells you and at first you shake your head no.

Beau was definitely not taking that answer today. He makes his way over to you, slipping an arm around your waist and lifting you into his arms and out into the rain. You shriek as the cold raindrops fall over you and you tuck your face into Tito’s neck.

He sets you down but doesn’t let go, his hand still circling your waist. He nudges your arms until they slide around his neck again, your fingers interlocking at the nape. He grins wildly down at you and your heart fills and fills at the sight. He slowly sways the two of you back and forth, dancing to music only known between you two.

“I missed you,” he says after a few quiet beats.

“I missed you too beau.”

Your swaying moves to a dull rocking back and forth, the two of you focused more on each other than anything else in the world. Neither of you realized it, but when the other was around the whole world seemed to fall away in an instant. There was no use trying to get between the two of you.

Beau leans down, your foreheads bumping lightly and your breath shortens at the proximity of the two of you. He leans forward, his nose brushing yours and for once you’re begging for his lips to meet yours, not caring about what might change between the two of you after.

“Hey! Get out of the street!”

You and Tito pull apart heads whipping in the direction of a car driving right at you. You both laugh at the ridiculousness of it all before heading back inside, the rain only picking up harder.

Four

“One more exam. Just one more final exam.”

You chanted the words over and over again in your head hoping they would somehow motivate you into finishing your work and studying for the last exam you had for the school year. You even went as far as going to the library, deciding to hole yourself up there the entire day to try and get something done.

Tito would text you occasionally, mostly offering words of encouragement as you worked and every time your phone buzzed an unconscious smile reached your lips. Tito had always been your cheerleader and vice versa. You were always there for each other and pushing each other forward whenever you needed it.

Your corner of the library was cozy, you sat, your legs tucked up in the loveseat next to the window. The rain fell slowly down the side of the building and you watched two raindrops drip down, an unknown race there.

Your eyes fall back to the textbook in front of you, flipping through the pages trying to absorb more information than you already have all day. As you work, suddenly a hand appears in front of you, a cup of coffee being placed down on the table in front of you. Your eyes trail up and you find a grinning Tito standing before you.

“Thought you might need an energy boost,” he says sitting down in front of you.

Your heart practically bursts at the sight. Tito had known you hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep recently and was worried about you. However, he also knew you were easily the most stubborn person in his life. If he couldn’t beat you, he might as well support your caffeine addiction in hopes that by the end of finals you’ll finally get some rest.

“Have I mentioned recently you’re my favorite person in the world?”

Tito grins dropping his head down shyly and you take the opportunity to grab the coffee and take a sip of it. You hum at the taste, a soft smile appearing on your lips when you realize that Tito has memorized your coffee order, something no one else has had the energy to do.

“I also wanted to make sure you get home okay,” he says nodding to the ever-growing rainstorm outside.

Your whole body warms at the words, a blush dusting your cheeks. Tito was nothing if not a gentleman and every time a display like this showed, your heart fell further and further into his hands. You place the cup down in front of you, leaning forward to place a hand on Tito’s knee.

“Thank you, darling,” you say and you swear you see a blush on Tito’s cheeks.

Your eyes search his as the only noise in the library is the sound of the rain against the building and the soft sounds of the workers meandering around. You swear gravity pulls you towards each other, Tito’s hand coming up to cup your cheek. His thumb brushes softly against your skin, the contact making your heart freeze and speed up all at once.

“Excuse me loves, the library is closing.”

You and Tito smile and nod at the sweet woman, breaking apart slowly before gathering your things and heading out together.

And One

The sun shines high in the sky, easily one of the nicest days on long island in months. Spring was melting away into summer and the warm air had you dying to get out and visit the ocean even if it was just for a little bit.

While Tito knew of your love for the rain, the breakthrough of sun was welcomed by the two of you. It was unspoken that when the sun had risen, and the temperature broke seventy, you wanted to spend a little time at the beach together.

You disliked the beach normally, not liking the sand that gets everywhere, the obnoxious teens yelling loudly, kids running around without parents, it just bothered you. But you loved the feeling of warm wind running through your hair as you drive, windows down, and the smell of the ocean air.

Tito shows up on your doorstep, and without a word, you two are out the door and heading towards your car. You climb in, hands immediately rolling down your windows and sunroof while Tito picks the music. You had an unspoken communication to go to the beach today and you were beyond excited.

Tito always looked gorgeous to you. In the sun? His blue eyes shine a bit brighter, his smile seeming to reflect the warmth that the sun brought you inside and out. He was breathtaking.

You were a work of art to Tito. Your hair blew back from your face, whipping around the small space. A light smile had been present since he showed up on your doorstep. Your (y/e/c) lit up from the sun and him. From head to toe, he would never grow tired of looking at you.

When you got to the beach, you parked in a spot overlooking the water. The two of you get out of the car, and Tito gestures to the hood. He stands before you, hands placed gently on your hips, and lifts you onto your car with ease, his hockey training coming in handy.

He hops up next to you, settling down on the hood and overlooking the beautiful ocean. His leg touches yours, starting at your feet and following through to your hips. The contact drives you crazy, making it feel like it’s ten degrees hotter as your nerves spike. It’s surprisingly quiet, the ocean rushing in and out before you, a light wind pushing your hair back effortlessly.

Your hands sit in your lap, nervously fiddling together. Tito glances at you constantly, his eyes trailing to your hands and he builds the courage to slip his fingers into yours. At the contact, you squeeze his hand lightly and that gives Tito all he needs.

“Hey,” he says, making you turn to look at him.

His other hand comes up to cup your cheek and you lean into the touch instinctively. His head ducks to meet yours, your noses brushing and your breath catches in your throat. You watch Tito’s eyes flicker back and forth before pushing forward. His lips meet yours and you sigh at the feeling of his lips on yours. Your free hand comes to grip the side of his shirt and pull him as close as possible.

Your breathless the entire kiss, the thought that the older hockey player liking you back finally smacking you full force. His touch lights you up from head to toe and you never want him to break away.

Tito grew more and more confident within the kiss, and his heart continued to balloon in his chest bigger and bigger at your closeness, you were finally right where you were supposed to be.

You pull apart when there’s no breath left in your lungs but stay close. Tito chases your lips pressing another light kiss to them. You giggle at him and he smiles sheepishly, biting his lip slightly and gazing at you with those eyes that had you since you first met. Tito was still on cloud nine at the thought of you loving him back.

“I really really like you,” he whispers and you giggle. He could have said absolutely nothing, he could have kissed you again, or simply kept holding your hand but the words said out loud made your heart do backflips like it was an olympian training for the gold medal.

“I like you too.”

“And I really wanna kiss you again.”

You smile lovingly at him before pressing your lips to his, something that would never fail to make your heart stop.

[miraculouscontent]

Kagami and Marinette deserve so much better.

Anyway, let’s just start literally where this episode starts, because it makes no sense. Remember back in my “Truth” critique where I basically said that the episode seemed like it’d been shoved through multiple drafts and no one checked the final one?

Same applies here.

Like--okay, ”Truth” and “Lies” take place at roughly the same time, which means that the same filler akuma/sentimonsters appear to interrupt Adrimi’s moments just as they did with Lukanette’s, giving its audience a clear timeline of how the episodes line up. The reason this is important is because the writers can’t even keep consistency within singular episodes and then honestly thought that they could do it within two.

“Lies” begins with Marinette talking to Tikki about the grimoire, because apparently she has the non-translated version and there’s a secret to figuring out the code that Tikki believes Marinette will discover eventually.

...Alright, I’m derailing here but I have to add how absolutely stupid Fu was when dealing with translating the grimoire. He was supposed to teach Marinette how to be guardian, yet he didn’t teach her how to read the grimoire (if there’s supposedly a “secret” to it, is he really going to bank on Marinette figuring it out herself eventually instead of just giving it to her and avoid the risk altogether??), kept the translated pages on his tablet without sending them to Marinette as he deciphered them, and took time to write a letter to her in “Miracle Queen” but left no guardian-centric advice for her to work off of, meaning that Tikki had to explain how the Miracle Box worked to Marinette back in “Truth.”

The show goes out of its way constantly to turn everything against Marinette even if it makes all the characters around her look either incompetent or cruel. It’s not that I’m not used to this by now but it’s just infuriating that it keeps trying to raise the stakes and tension when Marinette made such a tiny mistake to cause the issue in the first place, and now we find out that Fu had no back-up plan or strategy, apparently expecting this 14-year-old girl to act perfectly and cover for him.

And of course, instead of leaving the scene off on Marinette being encouraged by Tikki and Marinette showing confidence in herself (i.e: what would’ve been a nice scene), the kwami accidentally fumble with the keyboard in such a way to have Marinette’s computer bring up  a news story about Adrien, which leads to Marinette leaning towards her computer and sighing over Adrien and his “amazing life.”

Can I just point out how annoying it is that all the Adrienette moments so far on Marinette’s end have been forced, not just in general (because we’re used to that), but literally forced by the plot so Marinette would talk about him or other characters would bring Adrien up?

“Truth” had Alya insult Marinette to her face over her Adrien crush because Marinette was freaking over something non-Adrien related that they couldn’t have known about, Luka was sent a no-context picture of Marinette’s Adrien wall which led to him lowkey teasing her about it, and then Truth was forced to listen to Marinette’s friends and Tom babble about Marinette’s supposed crush on Adrien even when Truth points out that it’s not a secret, making the “joke” fall absolutely flat.

And now “Lies” comes along and has the kwami drop things and step on the keyboard in the exact way to pull up Adrien stuff for Marinette to fawn over. It’s at this point I’m realizing that - had the kwami stayed inside the box or just not been around in general - Marinette literally wouldn’t have brought up Adrien at all in either “Truth” or “Lies” and now I’m sad. I really don’t want to have a counter for “episodes where Marinette wouldn’t have so much as breathed Adrien’s name if the kwami/someone else wasn’t there to force it.”

So yeah, the episode had to force Adrienette into its Adrimi episode because the show can’t go five minutes without reminding the audience that Adrien exists even though this episode is primarily from his point of view, made worse by this scene’s lack of ability to exist.

See, from the timeline in “Lies” lining up with “Truth,” there is no possible way for this opening scene with Marinette talking about guardian stuff and then fawning over Adrien to happen. There’s an akuma scene in “Lies” that literally is just copy-pasted from “Truth” (it actually does this again with another scene later but that’s not important right now), so that means anything that takes place before said scene in both “Truth” and “Lies” have to line up.

Except they can’t. The akuma scene in question interrupts Marinette’s movie date with Luka in “Truth,” and before that, she had just opened the Miracle Box, wrangled up the kwami, talked to the girl squad over video call, talked to Luka, and then immediately had to leave. There are no cuts or wiggle room anywhere in there.

Therefore, the scene in “Lies” is impossible. Either the scene is supposed to go elsewhere in the episode (we don’t actually know how many days it takes up so it’s hard to say on that front) which just makes the episode even more convoluted, or this means that one would have to pick between the scene in “Truth” and the scene in “Lies” because they literally cannot co-exist.

“Lies” was supposed to coincide with “Truth” and they messed it up in the first scene of the episode.

Then comes Adrien himself, who really shows the series’ clunkiness in focusing on other characters. It’s not that I’m against the show moving away from Marinette to show other people’s point-of-view (I definitely didn’t complain during the Couffaine sibling scene in “Reflekdoll”), but Adrien cannot carry his own episode.

In Marinette’s opening scene, we immediately got details on the grimoire and lore about how reading it actually worked. I didn’t like it and it wasn’t good, but it was new information.

Adrien, meanwhile, spends a large portion of the episode being sad (a very grand and unique plot, my dudes) and giving us information we already know. “Truth” has to come first because “Lies” is half of a follow-up on it, meaning that the audience is already aware that Ladybug has been forgetful and has had to miss out on patrols. It’s just that now we get to see Chat Noir sulking about it and--okay, I am just going to go off, alright?

Firstly, Chat Noir tells Ladybug later on that he “understands” her guardian duties, but he previously mocked her behind her back by using air quotes when he was talking to her answering machine (since she obviously wouldn’t see that). We saw in “Truth” where he admitted that he doesn’t mind her being guardian “as long as it doesn’t change their relationship,” and that’s on display right here with his comments.

Not only is it extremely disrespectful, but for someone who claims to be so loyal and understanding to Ladybug, he sure doesn’t show it.

Secondly, he leaves her a message about how he’ll take care of patrol, then proceeds to slack off because she’s not there to keep him in check. He sulks around Paris, mumbling about how Ladybug isn’t around and constantly checking his messages to see if she’s replied to him. Chat Noir has shown his “priorities” in terms of heroism before, but patrol isn’t supposed to be about getting time with “““his lady”““ yet that is clearly all he cares about. He even ends the patrol unprompted, either giving up or just generally having not finished, because I don’t believe that the “end” of patrol just happened to be at the place Kagami was.

Patrol is about protecting Paris and scoping things out. Ladybug is trusting him to pick up the slack when she’s not around and he should be picking up slack, yet he has completely failed on that front. This is made worse when considering that the Season 3 finale had Ladybug breaking down to him from guilt and we know that Marinette had a breakdown before that to Luka, yet Chat is doing nothing to lighten Ladybug’s burden, putting up a falsehood on Ladybug’s answering machine to make him look better than he actually is.

Then, thirdly and most importantly/infuriatingly, Chat Noir knows that Ladybug is busy and he knows that she’s taking on a new responsibility, yet he not only jabs at her for “how hurtful it is when she leaves him to patrol alone” (one, cry me a river, and two, I don’t care if it’s a joke, it’s insensitive), but before that scene, he was actively hoping for people to get akumatized so Ladybug would be forced to show up and he could spend time with her. He egged Xavier Ramier on, even asking him if he “missed being Mister Pigeon,” and then looked on with glee as Chloe bullied Sabrina because he thought that an akumatization might happen.

And this is on top of so many other issues with this whole scene. Adrien complains all the time about his schedule and how restrictive his father is, but suddenly - in the episode right after Marinette had to break up with her boyfriend due to her cramped schedule - is lounging around and wasting time. It hurts to see Marinette suffering from all of her responsibilities while Chat’s biggest problem is how little time he gets with Ladybug.

Also, another point on Mister Pigeon is that that’s the akuma that had interrupted Marinette’s movie date and kiss with Luka. I’m not suggesting that Chat egging Xavier on led to him getting akumatized, but I am saying that Chat wanting akuma to happen with no regard for Ladybug’s happiness is yet another point on the list of why I hate the love square. Marinette genuinely forgot about patrol with him - genuinely was forgetting about everything, really - and as a “punishment,” her own partner whined, didn’t patrol properly, and egged on an akumatization that eventually ended up happening which then broke up the little bit of happiness that the universe was allowing her to have.

Oh, and did I mention that he’s also dating Kagami at the time as well because here we freaking go.

Now, I did not get on Marinette’s case for her Adrien wall and stammering because Luka is largely aware of where she stands in the relationship and she only brought Adrien up when someone else did, even when Luka wasn’t around or being mentioned. Adrien, however, I have multiple bones to pick with, starting with how utterly needy he is for Ladybug’s attention.

This guy has tons of friends, all these fans, and could get people to flock to him whether in or out of the mask, but he wants Ladybug, and anyone not Ladybug isn’t good enough. There’s a scene later in the episode where Kagami - his girlfriend, mind you - is pouring her heart out to him, and he gets distracted by Ladybug instead of listening to her. Even when he excuses the distraction, he then gets distracted again even though Ladybug is no longer in the background.

Lying to protect his identity is one thing, but what Adrien does to Kagami goes beyond that. He’s pining after and flirting with another girl and Kagami has no idea. She’s speculated before that Adrien likes Marinette, but she’s mostly left in the dark because Adrien hasn’t told her anything, nor has he confirmed with her whether it’s okay or not for him to flirt with other girls so long as he’s not pursuing them. He could’ve admitted that he was in love with Ladybug but that he wants to try things with Kagami, but he refuses to open up to her or put himself out there.

Except, he technically does, once, when Kagami tells him to pose for her and he strikes his transformation stance, but he caught her completely off-guard and it’s no wonder why she was put off by it or thought it was unnatural. Not only that, but when Kagami tells him that he’s acting like a clown in that scene, we can see by jumping back to “Truth” that Chat Noir fished for Ladybug’s compliments which then led to a line about him talking about how Ladybug enjoyed him acting like a clown; a direct connection.

Kagami didn’t validate him, so he fished for Ladybug to do so because Ladybug was both forced to answer the question and wasn’t able to lie to him. The show has Ladybug state that her most preferred trait of his is his humor but I am certainly not laughing.

Chat Noir even goes further after the fight with Truth (so another copy-pasted scene) by saying that he has the most fun with Ladybug specifically, and this is all while he’s still dating.

Then this guy has the gall to talk during his break-up about how his fun times with Kagami weren’t lies after apologizing to her for his constant lying, as if he’s trying to earn her sympathy when we know that he’s been pining after Ladybug and flirting with her like she were his number one when he already had a girlfriend waiting for him (and who, by the way, had covered for him earlier and was sitting sadly on a staircase outside, feeling abandoned). The episode presents the break-up as if Adrien’s problem was the fact that he had to constantly lie to Kagami due to being busy with hero work (which is already dumb when we also saw him lounging around and complaining about how nothing was happening, meaning he was inadvertently supportive of the idea of having less time with Kagami and more time with Ladybug even if that means Paris is in danger), but the real problem ends up being that Adrien neglected Kagami emotionally and wasn’t able to give her the attention she wanted.

It’s both sad and annoying that Adrien has always sulked about his dad not paying attention to him and then we get Adrien not paying attention to Kagami, looking for Ladybug when Ladybug had already left and Kagami is trying to tell him something very important.

This is what I mean when I say that Adrien can’t carry an episode on his own. He’s incredibly selfish and most of his dialog just involves him complaining about Ladybug or making excuses. Kagami carried the episode more than he did because more details were revealed about her - specifically the fact that she likes drawing - and she’s active in making things happen (being the one to make the excuse to set up their fencing lessons, deciding what they’ll do with their hour of free time, etcetera).

And regardless of what girl he’s interacting with, Adrien can’t respect either of them. I just talked about Kagami and I’ve already talked about how he treats Ladybug when she’s not even around, but now we get to how he treats Ladybug when she is around.

During the climax of the fight with Lies, where Ladybug requires a distraction to safely pull off her lucky charm, Chat Noir decides - without Ladybug’s input - to sacrifice himself yet again.

I have to stress that Ladybug is stressed and Chat has always talked about her plans and listening to her, yet he has a horrible habit of making decisions all on his own and letting Ladybug deal with the fallout. Whenever he has the chance, he’ll throw himself in front of her and take the big hit, presumably with the mindset that Miraculous Ladybug will fix everything so it’s not like it matters.

Ladybug even shouts at him when he hints at what he’s about to do and there was absolutely time for them to talk about it, but Chat Noir just lets himself fall and be bait, even throwing out what is a clear confession (again, while he’s still dating someone else) before he’s knocked unconscious by Lies’ power.

And when Ladybug yells at him for it when everything’s said and done, pounding at his chest and looking absolutely upset over the whole thing? He not only brushes her off, but he boops her nose and talks about how “irresistable” her “angry little pout” is.

He might as well have just said, “you’re cute when you’re angry,” because that’s exactly what he’s implying; that Ladybug’s anger is something “amusing” to him and not something he takes seriously. We’ve already seen it before in “Reflekdoll” and “Oblivio” as well, so this is just a continuation of already-annoying behavior.

Then, instead of Ladybug getting even angrier for it, the episode has her smile at him, which not only isn’t a normal reaction compared to how she’s reacted before, but now gives the impression that she’s being conditioned by the narrative to accept Chat Noir’s behavior in whatever shape or form it takes.

Because think about it: regardless of how upset Ladybug gets over Chat Noir, it never works out for her and she’s forced to either make up with him quickly or just get over it because she can’t be fighting with her partner (meanwhile, like in “Glaciator,” Chat Noir can be as upset as he wants and she’ll apologize first). She presumably would now have the authority to take away his ring by virtue of being guardian, but he’s also been her partner from the beginning and he’s had so much time to get used to the cat. Most likely, she would sooner blame herself for failing to reign him in than blame him for failing as an adequate partner.

There’s nothing she can do. She has to deal with the hand that she’s been dealt and getting angry at him has done nothing; rejecting him has done nothing.

And of course the episode throws everything under the rug in the ending with an insulting LadyNoir scene where Ladybug and Chat Noir talk about the secrets their forced to keep but also how they can trust each other.

Meanwhile, Ladybug has no idea of all the things Chat Noir has done behind her back. She still has no clue about “Copycat,” nor “Syren,” nor any of the stuff he did in this episode that she’ll probably never know about. Factor it in with “Miraculous New York” (whether one considers it canon or not) where she rightfully shouted at him because he betrayed her trust, and here we are one and a half episodes later (since “Truth” and “Lies” take place at similar times) where suddenly they’re all buddy-buddy and Chat Noir doesn’t have to deal with any consequences to his selfishness.

I’m glad that Kagami didn’t forgive Adrien in the end (even if I’m upset that she doesn’t know how bad it really was) because she had every right to walk away and not want to be friends with him. I only wish that Ladybug could do the same thing and never look back, but due to the love square’s status as endgame, we know that can’t happen, and Ladybug will eventually be forced to fall in love with a guy who mocked her responsibilities behind her back, disrespected her authority by opting to tease/flirt with her, continued pursuing her despite her rejections, and hoped for Paris to be in danger just so he could see her.

And... yeah, that hurts. It really does.

[laurensprentiss]

Jouska [Hotch x Reader]

Chapter 17:

Warnings: None, really. Mentions of painkillers, more fluff. Emily Easter egg. HUGE plot twist at the end... this is the beginning of the end for these two. Sorry!

———

Virginian weather is notoriously unpredictable.

It’s why you get stuck in a downpour by the time you get back to your apartment. Hotch opens the car door for you and as you attempt to run inside, he pulls you in close by your arms, huddling close to you as the rain hits your skin.

You shriek over the sound of the thunder. “What are you doing?! It’s pouring down, let’s go!” You tell him, fighting to keep your eyes open.

“Do you remember the day we moved you back into your apartment?” He asks over the sound of rain. You pull away, attempting to go inside but he holds you close. “Do you remember?”

“Yeah, why?”

“It was raining like this on that day, too. Do you remember?”

You laugh. “Yes! Can we go inside now?”

His eyes soften. “I remember looking down at you from that window,” he points upstairs. “And thinking you were so beautiful. I knew even then that you were going to be a massive part of my life.”

You blink at him through the rain, heart warming at his sincere words.

He wipes the water from your cheeks and pulls you in for a kiss, and as soon as his lips touch yours, you forget all about the way your clothes stick to your skin and how uncomfortably cold you are. He ignites more than enough warmth within you. His kisses are slow, deliberate, and you can’t help but reach for his shoulders to keep you steady.

His forehead touches yours when he breaks the kiss.

“What was that for?” You ask.

Because I love you.

He shrugs. “What? I can’t kiss my girl?”

Your breath hitches.

His girl?

The tone in his voice makes your heart flutter. Makes it easy to see yourself falling even deeper for him, to see something worth having with him. You know in your soul that this moment, here and now, is one you’ll carry for the rest of your life.

———

He promises he’ll call you from work as he leaves, finding it impossible to tear himself away from you.

His forehead rests against yours and he holds you flush to him, arms around your waist when he mumbles, “I wish I didn’t have to work. But Barnes says he needs to discuss something with me.”

He’s still reeling from his earlier realisation, the prospect of telling you just how much he feels for you is terrifying and exhilarating in equal measures.

Because maybe, just maybe, you feel the same.

You interrupt his thoughts. “It’s okay, really! I have to go see Em anyway, she got discharged today so I thought I’d bring her some lunch.”

“Sure?”

“I’m sure.” You reply.

He hums, snaking his arms around your waist. “Tomorrow night,” He begins, kissing your neck. “I am going to take you on a real date.”

“Oh yeah?” You reply, wrapping your arms around his neck, carding your fingers through the hair on the back of his head.

“Mhm. 8pm.” He continues, travelling up towards your earlobe. “Flowers, nice restaurant, dinner, drinks. The works.”

“And why would you do that?” You chuckle.

Because he’s fast coming to realize that he can’t not tell you how he feels anymore.

He allows himself the grace of knowing that maybe you’ll need more time to reciprocate the extent of his feelings, but he’s okay with that. As long as he gets to say the words that have been heavy on his chest for a long time.

“Because you deserve nothing but the best. This feels special.” It feels like the beginning of the rest of his life, he thinks. “I wanna do this right.”

Your heart flutters. “Then let’s do this right.” You reply with a small smile.

You tilt his head to capture his lips between yours, his lips soft and warm, the two of you seemingly falling into a quick rhythm. His hands travel down your back to grab a handful of your ass as he deepens the kiss, his tongue licking into your mouth.

You already know where this is going with the telltale pool of warmth in your belly. He swallows your whimpers as you push him off you gently, the both of you panting a little for breath.

He chuckles breathlessly against your lips, eyes still closed. “I’m gonna go before-”

“-Yeah.”

The door is almost closed behind him before he pulls you back to him, planting another tender kiss against your lips before taking off.

You’re left bewildered, the ghost touch of his lips on yours still lingering. You giggle to yourself, hating the noise you just made but you can’t even find it in you to care.

You pack up lunch into a Tupperware, stop off at a french bakery to pick up some fresh bread and Emily’s favourite macarons before making the drive to Ambassador Prentiss’ estate.

You enter through the North entrance, bidding a quick hello to Tom, the on duty guard. You knock on Emily’s door, entering anyway when there’s no reply. There’s wincing coming from her bathroom so you drop the bags on the ottoman beside her bed and rush in to where she’s trying to adjust her sling.

“Here, let me help.” You pull the strap taught against her.

She sighs in relief. “Thanks. I just couldn’t reach it.”

“How do you feel?” You ask, leading her to sit on her bed. Her bruises are still angry and blue, but the split lip seems to be healing and her eye’s opening a little better now.

“Been better. The painkillers are wearing off though, stuff’s good.” She laments.

“Yeah, tell me about it.” You mutter, handing her a sandwich and some soup once she’s situated. Her face lights up when she sees the macarons you put on her vanity. “You take your other meds?”

“No.”

You look around her bedroom for the bottles when she motions over to her nightstand. “How about you? How do you feel?” She asks, taking the pills and some water from you.

“Still sore, I guess.” You take a seat opposite her on her bed, crossing your legs on her comforter. “These bruises aren’t going away though.” You peer at yourself through the mirror, tracing the handprints on your neck.

She watches you expectantly.

“...What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

She takes a bite of her sandwich with her good hand, and mumbles through her food, “I’m sorry, I guess I just don’t know why you’re traipsing through here acting like you didn't just sleep with your bodyguard.”

You flinch. “Lower your voice! If your mother hears, I swear to God…”

“She’s in the South wing - in her office. Spill.”

“Spill what? Where do I start?”

“Oh shut up, I can tell you’re dying to tell me! How did it happen?”

You concede and shuffle in closer, “Well. He dropped me off home and I guess we were both just waiting for the other to say something - but neither of us did.”

“So how did you end up-”

“Don’t interrupt.” She holds her hands up defensively. “He hugged me goodbye and left but I caught him as he was leaving in the hallway. I told him I didn’t want him to leave.”

She clutches her chest. “Then what?”

“I don’t know... next thing I know he’s kissing me and… well, you know the rest.” You tell her coyly.

She narrows her eyes. “How was he?”

“Honestly?” She nods excitedly. “Amazing.” You breathe. “Literally the best I’ve ever had, you don’t understand Em, his hands?”

Her eyes widen in glee. “Stop it!”

You continue talking while you eat lunch together, realising it’s the first time you’ve talked without a looming threat since she returned from Rome. You feel the lightest you’ve felt in a long time, hopeful even.

Your mind wanders to Hotch.

Being in his arms feels safe, it always has. From the day you met, he’s been by your side, been the person who had your back through the worst year of your life.

And now you had him.

You actually had him.

Emily notices the faraway, blissful look on your face. Thinks she hasn’t ever seen you like this. You were kidnapped almost a week ago and she almost died but you still look the happiest she’s seen you in years.

Her room telephone rings then, and when she sees the number, she rolls her eyes. “Yes Mother?” She asks bluntly. “No, Mother, I haven’t. We’re having lunch... Yes she’s here.” Your ears perk up. “... No, I haven’t asked her yet… Yes! Okay fine, I will. Goodbye.”

Your ears perk up, “What do you need to ask me?”

She sighs. “Well… Mother has an assignment in Rome. She’s flying out tomorrow morning - and I’m going with her.”

Your heart sinks. “Do you have to go? It’s so nice having you back, I thought maybe you’d stick around for a while.”

“I don’t have to go. But I want to.” She winces as she climbs on top of her bed again. “Since the accident, she’s been a lot less ‘Ambassador Prentiss’ and a lot more ‘Mom.’ I think she may want to make up for the last time and maybe it’ll be different now.”

“Hey.” You grab her hand to stop her picking her cuticles raw. “What happened in Rome? I was busy with school and everything but I remember things were never really the same after that.”

She sighs. “Another day. I promise. But I think I’d like to recuperate there, maybe travel for a couple of months before I figure out my next steps.” You see the hope in her eyes. “Mother and I would love it if you joined us - that’s what I needed to ask.”

“Wow.” You breathe. “That’s a lot to take in. I’m happy for you and your mom, I mean I’m sorry it took a near-death accident, but I’m happy for you.” She scoffs as you squeeze her hand. “And I’d love to come with you, I really would. I loved Italy as a child but - I think I have some things to work out here.”

She grins. “Yeah? Like what?”

“Like a date tomorrow night.”

“That’s amazing, love. I’m happy for you, you know? You deserve this.” She cradles your face. “But if you do change your mind, we’re flying out of this airfield at 9am.” She scribbles some details on a notepad and tucks the paper into your pocket. “Just in case.”

———

“Hey, sweetheart, sorry I didn’t call. Can you meet me at my place in an hour? I have some great news.” You peer at your phone, the screen obscured by the fast emerging sunlight after the earlier thunderstorm.

You place a hand over the screen to block some light out when a hand taps you on the shoulder.

It’s base instinct at this point, a year-long stalker will do that to you, but you gasp and drop your phone behind you. Before you’ve had a chance to retrieve it, a woman outstretches her hand with your phone in it.

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you,” the blonde explains defensively. You get a better look at her. She looks wide-eyed and a little skittish, but she seems nice enough.

“That’s alright - thanks.” You reply, taking your phone from her. “Do I know you?”

She wrings her hands nervously. “No, I don’t think so. But I know you, I saw you on the news and in the papers. I was wondering if we could talk.”

You pull your bag further up your shoulders. “What are you? A reporter or something?”

“No! No, no. I’m actually - you know Aaron right?”

You frown. “Yeah?”

She stumbles over her words like she’s unsure of what to say. She takes a moment and you can see the gears turning in her head as she formulates the words in her head.

“I’m Haley.”

———

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[bluemoose86]

Characters I Adore Despite Never Having Seen a Minute of Their Shows

DISCLAIMER: As it says in the title, I’ve never seen any of the shows I talk about in this post. Because of this, some plot points/character traits/etc. that I talk about might not be accurate. I do plan on watching these shows at some point so I’m trying to avoid too much spoilery content, which is why I haven’t done much extra research. I apologize if I offend anyone somehow, this is just something I thought would be fun :)

Hey all! My name is Moose, and for no reason in particular, I thought I would compile a list of characters whom I really like yet know next to nothing about. Does anyone else ever feel connected to/intrigued by a character without having seen the show or movie they appear in? Let me know! Also, please bear in mind that all I know about these characters/shows is what I’ve seen from fan posts on Instagram, and there will be slight spoilers. Without further ado, enjoy the post!

Dani Clayton and Jamie Taylor – The Haunting of Bly Manor

Their love is something that can actually be so personal. I know Bly manor is a horror show, or at least has prominent horror elements (which is something I don’t enjoy), but seeing them together makes me want to watch it anyways. Even if you don’t believe in soulmates, you can’t see even one screenshot of them together and tell me they aren’t meant to be together. Even in this gif they have heart eyes for each other. Dani is an American au pair–a live-in nanny, basically–who was hired to take care of the children living at Bly Manor, and Jamie is the manor’s gardener. They were both intrigued by each other when they first met, and their relationship progressed very naturally. They’re so comfortable with each other–Dani goes through some rough times as far as I can tell, but Jamie is always there by her side to comfort her. I also love how attracted Dani is to Jamie, no matter how much time has passed (the “you could...come back 🥺” scene kills me). And I KNOW what happens to them already but please,,,,let me live with the illusion of their perfect love story.

Clarke and Lexa – The 100

Yet ANOTHER tragic love story. The gays really can’t get a break, huh? Clarke and Lexa are from very different worlds, yet they work perfectly together as allies and lovers. The 100 takes place in a post-apocalyptic world, where Earth is no longer inhabitable and the rest of humanity lives on a space station called the Ark. Because of reasons, 100 teens from the Ark, including Clarke, are sent down to Earth and have to fight to survive on the ruined planet. Later, they meet Lexa, who leads one of the Grounder clans–people who survived the apocalypse and still live on Earth. There’s immediate tension between both groups, but circumstances require them to work together. Clarke and Lexa become closer as a result and eventually fall in love. Even though they’re only together briefly because #buryyourgays, what I love most about them is how enduring their love is. Clarke has other partners, but no one ever makes her feel the way Lexa did. Lexa really was Clarke’s whole universe; I think one of the other characters even says that Lexa was the greatest love of her life. And Lexa was so smitten with Clarke that she literally went against all her training and customs of her people just so she could make a pretty girl happy. We stan. Their relationship is only onscreen for like a season but I know that Lexa comes back later so I swear I will watch all 6 seasons of this show just for them. I will do it.

Quinn Fabray – Glee

Ok I know that’s not what she normally looks like but that look makes me so gay Jesus Christ 🥵🥵 Anyways, I know the Glee writers really did her dirty even though I haven’t made it past bitchy Quinn from season one. The fact that she was supposed to be a flat, mean antagonist for the whole show but was only saved because of Dianna Agron’s brilliant acting astounds me. She has particularly erratic moments (especially in the season where she gets this haircut), but for the most part she seems like a sweet person. She starts off as a very troubled girl who is under a lot of pressure from her cheer team, her parents, and herself, but after joining the Glee club she becomes more confident and learns how to accept who she is. She comes to care for the other club members as friends and relies on them. I love her development, and I love how Dianna portrayed her despite the writers trying to shove her back in the “stereotypical evil cheerleader” box multiple times. Also, her smile is so cute and so pure 🥺 I’m in love.

Izzie No-Last-name – Atypical

Your Honor, I love her. I clearly have a soft spot for troubled characters, as Izzie starts off much the same as Quinn does. She’s confrontational and just downright mean to Casey Gardener, one of the main characters, after Casey transfers to her school. The two eventually find a way to get along and become friends, and Casey finds out that Izzie struggles with balancing her grades, running track, and taking care of her three (?) younger siblings in lieu of her unreliable mother and absent father. Izzie’s better traits also come to light: she’s strong, independent, and fun-loving, if a bit wild at times, as well as incredibly loyal to Casey. She loves Casey’s autistic brother, Sam, whom most people do not understand or try to get along with. And she’s utterly in love with Casey, which is apparent by their immediate chemistry. She seems like such a fun and complex character. Plus, cute girls smiling is one of my greatest weaknesses and her smile is absolutely adorable.

Waverly Earp and Nicole Haught – Wynonna Earp

Finally a relationship on here that has a happy ending–and a wedding, no less! I love them both, but I feel more connected to Waverly than Nicole. Maybe I’ve just seen more content of her. Waverly is the younger sister of the titular Wynonna Earp, and she helps her defeat supernatural threats to their town of Purgatory (yes, that’s actually the name of their town). That’s all I know about the actual plot of the show lol. Nicole Haught is the deputy and later sheriff of Purgatory and has a crush on Waverly right out of the gate. However, Waverly was dating a man (ew) at the time and somehow thought she was straight. Nicole, of course, was very respectful of Waverly and never tried to pressure her into anything. Even though she knew she might never have a chance, that never stopped her from helping Waverly or Wynonna when they needed it. And they needed it a lot. Of course they eventually fall in love, and while their relationship does have its ups and downs, they always come back to each other. They are also the definition of soulmates: they go through a lot together and are always there to support each other through fights, near-death experiences, and shocking revelations. They utterly adore each other and that adoration never fades no matter what. And I love how they get their happy ending! It’s quite a welcome change from most wlw relationships in media.

And there you go! Sorry this post was so long lol, I didn’t intend for it to be. I hope you all enjoyed, and let me know what you think of these characters. Much love, and stay safe 💙

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

How are we supposed to fix the friggin’ sun? (Or: Andrew Dabb had planned this all along.)

I was thinking about 11x23 Alpha and Omega. I was going to simply make a very gloat-y post about the sheer GLEE that pervades me about being right on why the car scene in 11x23 was written, filmed and acted like that. It was SUPPOSED to be jarring and to feel wrong. It was supposed to make Cas believe that Dean thought of him as a brother, because Dean believed that that’s what Cas would be happy to hear. And it was filmed from a lopsided angle, the way scenes are filmed when they’re supposed to feel wrong. And the actors made the characters look uncomfortable, in different ways.

So, yeah. Andrew Dabb has planned it all along and I TOLD you. Dabb slammed there the premises for what is happening right now. He played hard on the miscommunication so that the journey would feel realistic and the resolution even more satisfying.

I’m sorry, I’m a humble person normally, but we just got explicitly romantic Destiel (*pauses* *screams* *coughs* okay we can continue now) so I think I deserve my minute of self-celebration. That scene in the car in my eyes looked like it couldn’t be anything but the grounds for the very development we got. Just like, well, everything else, but I remember very well all the crap that specific scene got while I was there like... it’s on purpose, guys...

But then I thought more about that episode and more things clicked in my mind. So, self-celebrating part over. Let’s get to the serious things.

So. You know how 11x23 had the whole “Amara is eating the sun” thing going on? Well. My thesis here is that that was a metaphor-slash-foreshadowing-slash-mirror-slash-whatever-you-want-to-call-it for “the Empty has eaten Cas”.

Lucifer is gone. Amara ripped him from my body.

The repression is gone, the Empty ripped him away from me by pushing me to talk about my feelings.

It looks like the sun is— Dying. Why would Amara do that? The sun is the source of all life on earth. Without it, everything just... just wastes away.

Yeah Cas is the sun and Dean is earth, I don’t have to explain it. We know what happens to Dean when Cas is gone.

Look, man. If you’ve got something for me to punch, shoot, or kill, let me know and I’ll do it. I’ll do it till I die. But how are we supposed to fix the friggin’ sun?

Ah, Dean’s classic “I only have 1 skill and it’s violence” speech. Because I was angry and because I just needed something to kill and because that’s all I know how to do.

Back then, he didn’t think he could fix the sun, but he did. He fixed the sun by talking to Amara with compassion and respect, by appealing to feelings and love, by asking Amara to see a different way, by literally telling her “Put aside the rage. Put aside the hate. And you tell me... what do you want?”.

And now it’s Cas that addesses Dean just like Dean had addressed Amara. Not really in what they say, context and all is completely different, but the point was that Amara was told for the first time that she could be more than her anger and pain. Amara changed because Dean told her that she could open herself up to love and beauty. And Cas tells Dean that he is more than his anger and pain, that he’s so full of love that he teaches it to others. (Just what happened in 11x23, in fact. Dean’s loved saved Cas, saved the world.)

In 11x23, the answer to “how are we supposed to fix the friggin’ sun?” was that no, Dean was wrong about himself, he can do more than kill. And now, the answer to “how am I supposed to save Cas?” is exactly what Cas has told him after his speech about only knowing how to kill. Love.

And now to what I expect to be relevant in the near future:

W-What are we doing? Nothing. Exactly. Amara’s out there eating the freaking sun, and—and we’re doing nothing. And you have a better idea? Yes. Anything. That’s my better idea, because anything is better than this. 

This was Sam prodding the others. I wonder if Sam will encourage Dean to do something about Cas, or Dean will enter ‘I gotta do something about this’ mode after something snaps him out of hopelessness.

Then the car scene

How you doing? You good? I mean, you know, the whole Lucifer thing. I was just... so stupid. No, no, no. It wasn’t stupid. You were right. You were right to let Lucifer ride shotgun. Me and Sam wouldn’t have done that. Well, it didn’t work. No, but it was our best shot, and you stepped up. I was just trying to help. Well, and you do help, Cas.

Of course Dean was trying to be nice, but, as we’ve discussed to the moon and back, Cas hears that his “help” is valued. We know why Cas had said yes to Lucifer, he didn’t think he could help in any other way, that he was “expendable” (“I’ve heard the stories. You help. But Sam and Dean Winchester are the real heroes.”) and that he has value in the measure he contributes to the cause. Compare to (tumblr decided that blackquote doesn’t work anymore, sorry for the aesthetic blip)

How you feeling? You’ve been quiet. How long have you been waiting to ask me that? I guess I didn’t want to overwhelm you. […] I wanted to make things right, and now… I don’t know why I’m even here. Jack. You never needed absolution from Sam or Dean or from me. We don’t care about you because you’re useful or you fit into some grand design. We care about you because you’re good.

I don’t even have to discuss the parallels between the soul bomb plot and the current plot, but that’s not the point here. The point is... this has been a long way in the coming and we’ve seen it coming all the way through.

Thoughts on this?

[discotreque]

LwD 2.05: An Embarrassment of Dooplers

So I was a little nervous about this one! I hadn’t heard any spoiler-spoilers, but screeners have been out for weeks now, and I’d heard a bunch of individual, vague, non-spoilery hints about (1) big character moments, on the scale of a mid-season finale even though the show’s not taking a mid-season break; and (2) an ending that would make me cry.

I guess I imagined something relatively serious and dramatic, like “No Small Parts”? This show makes me cackle with laughter and giggle with nerdy glee and “d’awww!” at heartwarming friendships every week, but it’s only ever made me cry once—and then I was impressed that they were going to get there from the wacky hijinks we saw in the brief teaser.

The lack of a cold open made me apprehensive too—in my experience, that’s typically a sign that there’s so much plot in the rest of the episode that they need that extra scene—but after ~21.5 minutes of aforementioned hijinks, I was having so much fun that I’d completely forgotten about the alleged tear-jerker at the end…

…and they were not the tears I was expecting.

I didn’t think I’d be smiling and crying!!!! That was wholesome as SHIT!!!!!

I almost can’t believe they earned that—but they totally did.

After a Mariner–Tendi episode and a Boimler–Rutherford episode, we’re back to the “usual” Season 1 pairings… except the relationships between these characters have changed since Season 1. Mariner still feels thwacked in the abandonment issues by Boimler bailing for the Titan, and Rutherford’s having a tiny little existential crisis about losing an entire year of his life.

Both of which are extremely understandable and very heavy situations—and both of those situations get resolved because everyone in them is vulnerable with each other and honest about their feelings—AND that honesty and vulnerability brings both pairs of friends closer together. Are you kidding me?? I would watch SEVENTY seasons of that shit. Put it in my veins.

Onto the notes:

So basically Dooplers are Tribbles, but for cringe comedy instead of slapstick? Ohhhhh boy.

Look at Ransom the diplomat, tossing his own fork on the floor! I like that he’s actually a pretty competent Starfleet officer, despite also being a completely ridiculous person.

Wait a second, is that—OH HOLY SHIT, THE DOOPLERS ARE VOICED BY RICHARD KIND.

It makes sense that B. Boimler would find William annoying—who likes seeing their own flaws reflected back at them? And who could be a better reflection of one’s flaws than one’s literal duplicate?—but most interesting to me is that it implies on some level, Bradward knows the stick up his butt is a flaw. (Does William?)

Why does the Cerritos model have working phasers?!?!

I’m loving hot pink as the currently en-vogue colour for “dangerous sci-fi energy” in animation (cf. almost every previous episode of this show; Into the Spider-Verse; other stuff I can’t remember right now). As a former child of the 80’s, I’m living for it… but as a former teenager of the 90’s, I can’t help but wonder if it’s going to age as poorly as the harsh neon green of The Matrix, every Borg appearance on Voyager, and like 80% of the websites I made in high school…

SKANTS! SKANTS! SKANTS!

That fake-out joke with the fly-by over the Cerritos model was in the season trailer weeks ago, and I was so enthralled by that handsome lady that the sticker coming into frame still got me good 😂😂😂

BECKY Mariner????? omg yes

Some top-quality Boimler screams in this one. Poor Jack Quaid must drink gallons of throat-coat tea when he records.

One of the great things about Star Trek to me is that you never know what you’re going to get from any random episode. A murder mystery? A road trip? A spooky thriller? A cheesy romance? Broad comedy? Body horror? Didactic political screeds shrouded in tissue-thin science-fiction metaphors? Brain and brain, what is brain??? And after this many years of watching, you’d think I’d be hard to surprise. But if I ever told you I thought I’d see a Blues Brothers–style car chase through a frickin’ shopping mall on an episode of Star Trek, I would have been straight-up lying to you. I loved it, it worked for me, my jaw was on the floor and I was clapping with joy—but I’m definitely comfortable calling this one “unexpected.”

It’s CAPTAIN SHELBY!!! And an ancient babydyke crush rose from the depths of my childhood subconscious… (Also I think her Number One is based on the original makeup—eventually deemed too complicated—for Saru? Now that’s a deep cut.)

In 20th-century Trek, you almost never got to see what was going on inside a starship from the outside. Even after they switched from physical models (where it was next to impossible on a single episode’s budget) to CGI (which was still in its infancy, still not exactly cheap, and still broadcast in SD anyway), it was a rare thrill to see any meaningful interior details in an exterior shot. Disco’s modern VFX have given us some tasty, tasty treats in that department, but nothing quite as sublime as all the pink Doopler light glittering through the Cerritos’s windows.

Mariner says she’ll take her contact Malvus down with her, and threatens that they’ll end up “in the same cell.” Malvus is a Mizarian, a species introduced in TNG’s “Allegiance,” in which Captain Picard is held in a mysterious prison with one. I think I see what you did there, McMahan?

Bartender… so hot… lesbian circuits… overloading…

The Tendi and Rutherford C-story was, well, a C-story within a 22-minute episode, so there wasn’t much to it, but the one scene that mattered actually mattered a lot. I’m ambivalent on whether they should end up romantically involved—I’d prefer they don’t, but they’ll be one of the cutest couples in Trek history if they do—and as long as they keep that pure, sweet friendship between them at the heart of whatever else happens, I’m on board.

Carol Freeman was already one of my favourite captains before this season, and she’s been steadily moving up the list. The quiet throughline about her ambition to be on a better ship has been fascinating so far, and it’s starting to actually make me feel a little conflicted: I’m of course rooting for Captain Freeman to recognize her worth, make Starfleet recognize her worth, and become the ass-kicking captain of a hero ship that she’s clearly ready to be—but that almost surely means she’d be kicking ass off-screen, because LwD isn’t about those kind of adventures, and I’d be devastated not to have Dawnn Lewis on the show every week. So I’m kind of on the edge of my seat about this one!

I had so many favourite jokes this week I put them in a separate list:

“Even the replicated water on the Titan tasted better” is a low-key brilliant dunk on people who can’t shut the fuck up about the cooler places they used to live.

“Ooooh, they have a Quark’s now! That used to just be an empty lot where teens would make mistakes!” ← That’s literally me every time I go back to where I grew up. I felt so Seen™ I almost hid under a blanket.

“I would never go down the stairs!” (evil grin) (goes up the stairs)

The “well, shit” expressions from Mariner and Boimler as their crashed car sank right into the water… which started to bubble innocuously… and then the bottles of Data bubble-bath popped up, paying off a joke I thought had already been paid off—that was the one that woke up my poor cat this week. Just exquisite timing.

“YOUR PAGH IS WEAK, AND IT DISGUSTS ME!” “I don’t even know what that is, but I don’t like your tone!”

“Okona’s in there? He’s not even Starfleet! This is outrageous!” made me shout “NO!” at the screen like I was scolding my cat for scratching furniture. (She did not wake up that time.)

Best background joke: the neon sign at the dive bar advertising FREE SHOTS & BEERS. (Get it? Because they’re on a Federation starbase? Where nobody uses money?)

And of course Quark merchandised DS9.

This wasn’t just a standout episode of Lower Decks, this was a brilliant episode of Star Trek, period. The Dooplers, though extremely silly, are nevertheless also a clever sci-fi metaphor for real and relatable personal/interpersonal issues, and an effective plot catalyst for meaningful character growth from all four of our ensigns and the captain.

The jokes were hilarious, the action was kinetic, the A-, B-, and C-plots linked up thematically, the visuals were consistently and thoroughly gorgeous, the character beats—between Mariner and Boimler, Tendi and Rutherford, Mariner and Capt. Freeman—were all genuine, heartfelt and wholesome, and the references to other Trek canon were both deep and deeply affectionate.

Only 15 episodes in, and this series knows exactly what it is, exactly what it wants to do, and knows that it can knock our socks off doing it. Mike McMahan has said in recent interviews that the back half of S2 (and the apparently almost-fully-written S3) is a straight line uphill in quality from here—which surprised me at first, because McMahan seems like a pretty chill dude who doesn’t normally brag about his own work like that.

But then the Prophets sent me a vision of my space dad Ben Sisko, who reminded me of the words of 1930’s baseball player Dizzy Dean:

“If you can do it, it ain’t bragging.”

[Thanks to cygnus-x1.net for the screenshots this week—I was too lazy to do my own.]

[multimetaverse]

HSMTMTS 2x01 Review

New Year’s Eve was a great way to return to HSMTMTS especially after such a long gap. Let’s dig in!

Vladimir Lenin once said that, ‘’ there are decades where nothing happens; and there are weeks where decades happen". It’s been almost a year and half since S1 ended but this past week has seen revelation after revelation as the fandom has resurrected itself and promotion for S2 kicked into high gear: Joshua Bassett came out, Frankie and Joe confirmed that they are a real life couple, Larry seemingly confirmed that S2 will only have 11 eps rather than the 12 initially ordered, and perhaps most importantly Olivia revealed that she and the main cast are under contract for 4 seasons and made clear that she’s leaving the show as soon as her contract is up.

I really enjoyed this premiere, it felt like picking up right back where we left off. I’m guessing that S2 was originally supposed to premiere around Christmas or New Year’s but the holiday decorations and real Utah snow add a charming aesthetic to the ep. Tim Federle deserves credit for giving HSMTMTS more of an ensemble feel which is no easy feat with a cast as large as this show has. It likely won’t last due to covid restrictions  but at least for tonight we got to see all the characters hanging out together acting like a real group of friends.

The dialogue tonight really reminded me of Glee and I think I mean that as a compliment. Miss Jenn in particular seems to be doing her best April Rhodes impression minus the alcoholism. 

The rini scenes tonight were lovely. Perfect gift was a great song and I loved the rini duet during the music in me as the world faded around them leaving just the two of them. The Harry Styles reference is funny in light of Josh’s coming out interview. Of course, it’s hard now to separate Nini and Ricky and Olivia and Josh. Their chemistry shines through as 2x01, 2x02, and possibly parts of 2x03 were filmed pre Jolivia breakup which seems to have happened around summer 2020. Whether they can keep that same chemistry later on in S2, not to mention future seasons, remains to be seen.

A major theme tonight was communication and clearly Rini need to work on theirs. Poor Ricky had to learn that Nini’s moving to Denver the night before she leaves town which has to remind of him of his mom effectively abandoning him. Ricky saying that he’s never gonna breakup with Nini ever again sure sounds like foreshadowing for a disaster though the odds that this time Nini initiates the breakup are pretty good. 

I’m glad that the show is continuing to delve in the Bowen’s divorce story with their house being sold and Ricky and his dad having to move into an apartment. Divorce is expensive and the division of assets typically leave people less well off. Mike Bowen needs to work on his communication skills but he’s rocking that beard; it takes him from depressed divorced dad to depressed divorced daddy.

Seblos was cute and in a nice change of pace Disney doesn’t seem to be cynically teasing them then cutting their scenes. It was refreshing to see them just being a couple and to hear Carlos casually refer to himself as gay. In that regard tonight’s ep didn’t seem like it was a Disney show at all and it’s major progress that there are now two main gay characters on HSMTMTS. We learn that Carlos is rich which seems likely to be a source of conflict with Seb who comes from a large farming family.

Bet on It was really fun and I liked that Ricky apparently couldn’t stop singing it. The medley of HSM 2 songs was fun but I’ll be real with you wildcats, I never thought HSM 2 or 3 were nearly as good as the first movie so I’m not sad that they’re doing something else this year.

Wild that Big Red’s mom also calls him Big Red. Salt Lake Slices seems poised to be a big part of S2 both as hangout spot and work location for some of the characters. Redlyn are sweet together but sometimes Big Red comes off as a closeted gay guy which isn’t ideal for a het pairing that is supposedly a big part of S2.

Nice to see Gina so excited to have sleepovers with Ashlyn. We know from 2x03 that Gina contends with being single on Valentine’s day and from her glances at Ricky tonight she’s clearly not over him. Tim’s playing with fire and I can only hope he knows what he’s doing. I liked the little detail of Kourtney having AOC on her vision board, it feels true to the character (hopefully AOC gets elected president one day if the USA doesn’t collapse into a fascist dictatorship or civil war before then). EJ’s beard has got to go but I like that he seems committed to being a better version of himself; very doubtful his plan to go straight to Duke like his forefathers doesn’t change by the end of the season. 

Derek Hough did a good job of playing Zach as a subtly condescending man who managed to swiftly undermine Miss Jenn’s confidence, we’ll see what he and North High bring to the table.

Looking Ahead:

Next week are auditions for Beauty and the Beast, we know Ashlyn gets the role of Belle and EJ has conveniently removed himself from the running for Beast which presumably clears the path for Ricky to take the lead. There’s been some controversy over the casting choices and I’ll save my comments about it for the 2x02 review.

We get to see Lily who looks like a meaner version of season 1 Gina, we’ll see how much depth she actually ends up getting. Howie is introduced in 2x03 and Antoine likely shows up later on. Jack likely shows up towards the end of the season.

Howie seems to have a connection with Kourtney though the character synopsis does say he gets close to a wildcat or two which certainly leaves room to slide him into Gina’s plot. We know Antoine is into Ashlyn so that’s another love triangle to look forward to. Jack was described as having wanderlust and most of the cast seems not to have filmed with him so I think it’s likely that he plays a role in convincing EJ to take a gap year rather than head straight to Duke. 

A translation leak on TikTok reveals that in 2x03 Gina is sad that she’s only gotten a Valentine’s Day gift from her mom. A brief clip from the promo shows up her on her porch at night holding a heart shaped box of chocolates. If that’s supposed to be from a secret or semi-secret admirer than it has to be from either EJ, Ricky, or Howie. If it’s a platonic gift then it could be from anyone, we’ll see what Tim has up his sleeves.

Nini moving back to SLC is a question of when not if. It’s going to be very difficult to bring her back in a way that’s justified and also doesn’t leave the time she spends in Denver looking like a total waste. Frankly, I’d rather the show just bite the bullet and bring her back with as little fuss as possible.

We’re possibly around a quarter way through HSMTMTS given that the mains have 4 season contracts and presuming that the show is not cancelled earlier. At the very least the show will be radically different after S4 if they try to continue it as Olivia has made very clear that she’s going to leave asap to pursue her burgeoning music career full time (notably she’s only done the bare minimum of promo for S2). 

Looming over the remaining seasons of HSMTMTS is what the professional relationship between Olivia and Josh looks like especially since in many ways the show is built around Ricky and Nini. Off screen relationships have often caused on screen problems and dating a co-worker is rarely a good idea since even clean breakups leave lingering resentments. Obviously the Jolivia breakup was not clean, Driver’s License, Deja Vu, and Good 4 U (which is a certified bop) were clearly written from a place of hurt and in some ways were written to hurt. It’s no surprise that Joshua has dropped his duet with Sabrina Carpenter from his EP; someone on his team at least is trying to stop the damage to his reputation. There’s a decent chance that Olivia’s songs becoming such hits has irreparably damaged Joshua Bassett’s reputation among the same pool of largely young women that he’s targeting his music towards thereby cutting off his music career at the knees. If nothing else this behind the scenes drama should keep things entertaining for a while.

Until next week Wildcats 

[fanficsandfluff]

That Damned Laugh

To the anon who informed me of Rainbow Rowell's RACISM, i am writing this for my love of the characters, not the author's writing skill or fame. fuck her. i am still very much aware of what she wrote about and how she portrayed a character, but i cannot stop this inspiration when it comes to me. (wait to be clear to everyone reading this who hadn't seen the anons and my discussion, carry on wasnt the accused racist book. that was something else.)

If you, anon, end up seeing this and maybe don't like what I'm doing or whatnot, I'd love to hear from you again.

For those of you who maybe do practice Death of the Author, I hope you enjoy!

Fandom: Carry On

Characters: Simon Snow, Baz Pitch

Words: 1,905

~~~~~

BAZ

Simon Snow does not laugh, full stop.

(Well, to be fair I'm not a cackler much myself, but I do at least guffaw from time to time.)

Snow spent so much of his youth being weighed down by the 'Chosen One' moniker and being tormented by yours truly. Still, I know of that little list he kept of things he liked about Watford and all its experiences and people. It seemed he did take joy in most of it all. After all, I'm sure he had fun at Bunce's house on many an occasion.

But just being around him and in this way for a while now, you start to notice. He's seen me laugh. A few times, in fact. And hard. I'm not very proud of it; what that man can do to me and make me do. He doesn't like when I cover my hand over my smile. It's habit, though, I've reminded him countless times. The fangs and all. We're working on it.

But Simon may just smile or huff. I've giggled with him on our particularly soft nights or togethertimes.

All this to say... I've found a new hobby/goal/obsession recently.

Make Simon Snow laugh.

My cheekiness all these years has kept my humor to cruel, lowbrow tones. Maybe it makes me less funny, I don't know. But once or twice I'd nail a comeback or snarky one-liner (of course with a bit of flirt thrown in) and Snow will giggle and shake his head. But that's all I've achieved! A small, pandering, boring -- though still admirably adorable -- (Damn that Snow) giggle.

I've moved on to physical humor. I tried throwing myself dramatically over him when he's in bed, but he just seems to think it's all part of my Pitch flair.

Today I made a minor breakthrough.

I was in the kitchen trying to mix myself a smoothie. Bunce has been gushing about a smoothie craze for weeks now, so I finally figured why not. The damn lid wasn't on tight enough. Not-yet-smooth smoothie shot everywhere. There was a pause as it happened, my one hand on the Liquify button, my other resting nonchalantly atop the lid that didn't do any lidding, dammit.

Snow looked up at me from his seat by the kitchen counter, eyes drawn from his phone. A beat. He barked out a laugh. A much louder one than I think I'd ever heard him make.

"Put a sock in it, Snow," I growled, to keep with my facade, though inside I was jittery with glee. I wanted to hear more.

Snow convinced me to binge a new show. Crime Minds. Something like that. No, criminal. It's Criminal Minds.

You wouldn't expect this to be a series fit enough for a cuddle, but Snow and I are an unexpected couple. So it works.

A few dumb jokes are littered throughout the show, in between corpses and the same police station set being reorganized and shot from different angles every episode. One such joke was so inconspicuous and so nothing that I cannot even recall it now. But both Snow and I chuckled at it. Then Snow made an additional comment to it, making me laugh. And soon we were both giggling together like schoolboys, like we had early on when we were maybe still a bit bashful with each other.

He shoved his face into my ribs and snorted when I whispered the new inside joke much later on in the episode. I was also grinning like a madman, but the soft tickle his action gave me didn't exactly---

Oh.

In bed. Perfect. Lovers fool around all the time in bed. Not fool around as in sex--well, no, of course sex, but I mean they also play around-- never mind.

SIMON

Baz has been acting off lately. I can't quite put my finger on what it is. He seems distracted. More like how I act. I'm always thinking of something else, not able to stay focused on one thing for long. He's like that, but trying to act like he isn't.

We're doing something odd today. We're in bed at sunset. It's hardly sunset, as a matter of fact. The sun isn't seeping orange and red into the flat yet. Penelope took us out on a hike today. It tuckered the both of us out. Baz drained a buck when we got home.

I'm laying perpendicular to Baz (or is it parallel? composite? I could never remember mathematics), my legs resting over his stomach. He's reading and I'm playing a puzzle app on my phone.

BAZ

Now's the time, Baz. Just do it, don't think.

His socked feet are right in front of me. There's only been a handful of times we've sat in this position, half of them being my lower half resting on Simon's sturdier upper half. It's now or never.

I stare at his feet for too long, zoning out and forgetting that I was left staring at them, so it definitely looked like I have a fetish for feet. Which I don't. Focus, Basilton.

I take a finger-- no, two fingers. I scratch quickly at his heel. His leg jerks, foot being pulled back.

"What?" he asks me, as if I hadn't been plotting this for weeks. As if I just did it to get his attention.

"Something on the bottom of your sock, love."

Simon went right back to his head hanging upside down off the side of the bed, phone held out in front of his eyes.

Well, that proved one thing. He's ticklish.

He places his ankles right back where they originally were, crossed, atop my stomach. I try again, this time on his arch. I apply more pressure.

"Bahaz!" Simon shakes his foot out, "Is that how you start a foot massage?"

"Would you like a foot massage?"

"No. Not if it's going to tickle like that."

My cheeks heat up. Damn that buck. I'm rosier than I usually am.

"You're ticklish?" I ask, coolly. I barely stuttered.

"I wouldn't try it," he's back to looking at his phone again, "Penny did once and I nearly broke her elbow or something. She wouldn't stop talking about it for days."

"So you're very ticklish, then."

"Don't," this is the first time Snow seems to tense up.

There's a moment of quiet between us. A tense quiet. I lunge for his ankles and he shoots up into a sitting position. I scratch at his arch with four fingers now and he screams.

"Baz!" Simon whines a bit and he somehow yanks his legs free, not without losing one of his socks in my grip.

SIMON

He's grinning at me. No. Sneering.

I still hate when he does that. Reminds me of back when I wanted to throttle him. Sometimes I still do.

"Baz," I warn. His whole posture changes into a predator's, like he's the lion and I'm his fresh zebra. The new stance sends a shiver down my spine, with his shoulders hunched and all, ready to pounce.

"Baz... Baz, Baz, Baz..." I say over and over again because he's smiling at me, and then I start to smile, too, "Bahaz!" I try once more, but his name is all that's coming out, and now I'm giggling. I'm nervous. He did this to me.

BAZ

He's already giggling and I haven't even laid a hand on him.

"Yes, Snow?" I respond to his many calls of my name before I lurch forward, sending my whole body crashing on top of his and trying to pin him. I dig my fingers into his sides and don't stop for as long as I can maintain contact through his squirming.

"Gehehet off!" he's already crumbling, words being broken up with short laughs.

I slide my fingertips to his stomach and scratch there; Snow bucks. It gets even better when my cold fingers make contact with his warm skin beneath the shirt he's wearing. He yelps like I've never heard him yelp (like he's burnt his finger, but he's also 11-years-old again), and he dissolves into loud, beautiful laughter.

"St-Stohohop! Baz! I'm going to end you!"

"Isn't that how we always said it would end? Snuffing each other out? I'm perfectly happy that it's now going to end in my favor. You should've told me you were this easy to defeat earlier on, Snow."

"Shut up!" he cackles, legs kicking wildly behind me, as my body is thrown over his torso. Now I have both my hands buried into his sides, squeezing and squeezing. I get curious, my cheeks still burning with blood, and I lean down to his neck and... (no, I don't bite) I start nibbling. Snow loses it.

His whole face scrunches up, as I watch when I pull my head back. His smile is huge and bright. And the laughs bubble up from his stomach, releasing softer into the air like he sucked a little of the joy from it before releasing to keep for himself.

"Dohon't do that!"

"I thought you love my kisses."

"Not tha-HAAT!"

He shrieks again, hands too slow to stop my face from moving in. I nibble and even lick a few times, careful not to touch him with my fangs.

Did I mention that my hands are still tickling at his sides and ribs while I'm nibbling? Oh yes, I've waited so long for this sound. I wasn't going to make it come out lightly.

I blow a raspberry and that's when Snow's laughter catches and turns all hiccuppy. The noises are infecting me, starting to make me giggle. I shift, and my face now descends towards his stomach, which is bared after I rucked the shirt up.

SIMON

"TYRANNUS BASILTON G-GRIMM FUCKING PITCH-- OR WHATEVER YOUR LONG STUPID ARSEHOLE NAME IS--"

He's laughing at me. I keep laughing even without him tickling me.

"I swehehear I'm going to fucking kill you and your whole family if you do that dohown thehere--" I'm hiccuping. Crowley, how embarrassing.

BAZ

He's got me. I can hardly breathe from laughter. I keel over into him or he into me, but soon we're a laughing pile together on top of the mussed up sheets on the bed.

I make a loud snort and that reels us both back in again, laughing til we're red in the face and til my cheeks hurt.

Simon is giggling away, taking deep breaths to try and calm himself, but he just keeps on giggling. I'm able to sit up a little more and Snow's head is in my lap. He's beaming and looking up at me through squinted, teary eyes.

"That was fun," I say, and I don't think it's the brightest or smartest thing to say. But I say it.

"I love you," Snow's smile is still wide, like he's drunk from it. There's a moment where I feel like I've died again, color drained from me.

It doesn't seem to bother him, that he's said that. For the first time. I run my fingers through his reddish curls once, letting them tangle in the locks towards the back of his head. I hunch myself down so I can kiss him.

"I've wanted to hear that for so long," I whisper.

"That I love you? You haven't figured it out by now?"

"No, you idiot," I say with nothing but fondness, brushing my nose along Simon's jaw, "Your laugh."

[monstersandmaw]

Male vampire x male character - Part Two (nsfw) (Halloween ‘surprise’ Patreon story).

Edit which I’m including in all my works after plagiarism and theft has taken place: I do not give my consent for my works to be used, copied, published, or posted anywhere. They are copyrighted and belong to me.

I'm really pleased that you and my Patrons enjoyed the first part, and that folks were keen for more. I’ve had more interaction with this post on Patreon than many of the others, which is surprising given how mlm stories are usually much less in demand than m/f ones. Thanks for that!

Anyway, here's more of our favourite oblivious dork Alec and his obviously-not-a-vampire crush... Part Three is on the way too (tomorrow), despite this having been planned as a quick porn-without-plot one-shot, as it were. Oh well?!

Hope you enjoy.

Part One

After his initial - admittedly strange - meetings with Sebastien, Alec didn’t see him on campus at all for the rest of the week, and he wasn’t quite sure how he felt about that. Yes, the guy had been a bit of a pompous arsehole in the library, but he’d made up for it by coming to the art room and apologising, engaging him in conversation — even if that conversation had been slightly… odd? — and being so god-damn-fucking beautiful too.  

He overheard his students gossiping about ‘Dr. Dulac’ earlier that afternoon while they all carved the pumpkins he’d bought for them at the local supermarket, and it seemed that the general consensus was that Sebastien was single, unfailingly polite (even in the face of Janette Hilton, the English Department’s longest-serving and least sympathetic lecturers), hotter than any celebrity you cared to name, and a specialist in the poets of the First World War like Sassoon and Brooke, among other more esoteric interests.  

After an hour of clock-watching in his tiny little office in the Art Department on Friday, he abandoned all hope of concentrating on his last few bits of admin, and shut down his laptop. After clearing up yet more pumpkin seeds that he’d somehow missed on the last two sweeps he’d done of the studio, he stepped outside, never wanting to see another bloody thing again. Too bad he had a whole bloody cardboard box of them waiting to go into the boot of Kay’s car for her party that night. Still, he was almost sinfully proud of the carvings he’d done on them. One was decorated the whole way around with the foliate style engravings usually reserved for the steel on antique guns, with different depths to create the highlights and shadows, and another particularly spherical one had been cut away in squares to resemble the Death Star.  

The October air outside bit into his lungs as he drew a deep breath - the spicy, fragrantly damp scents of autumn filling his nose - and his eye was drawn to the twinkling lights of the little coffee cart that still lingered in the park, selling tea, coffee, and hot chocolate to chilly students leaving the university campus for the night. With a black coffee for himself in one hand, he made his way to the Engineering Department, warily holding another frothy concoction in his other. It was apparently called a ‘London fog’ and it smelled of earl grey tea and lavender. He thought it sounded (and smelled) disgusting, but Kay perked right up when he deposited it on her desk five minutes later.  

“Bless you, Alec Twayblade,” she grinned, taking the plastic lid off and inhaling it like it was the best thing she’d ever smelled. “Oh my god. How can you not like this?” she said after taking a huge gulp and moaning obscenely.  

Alec didn’t bother to reply, his eye-roll speaking volumes anyway. They’d had this discussion so many times that they were both probably playing it out silently in their heads right that second. When Kay glanced up and saw that he certainly was, she snorted and grinned. “I love you, Alec,” she laughed. “You’re still coming tonight?”

“Against my better judgement,” he growled, leaning his weight on her desk and folding his arms across his battered, blue cable knit sweater. He had a huge daub of yellow paint on one elbow from that morning, and a small burn hole in the bottom from a failed attempt at pyrography a few years ago. It was the most comfortable jumper he owned, and he would probably wear it until it unravelled around him.  

“You’re still not going to wear a costume, are you?” she added as she stood, pouting.  

He shook his head. “I draw the line at that.”

“But you’d be so good making one!” she countered. “You helped me with that bat costume when we were at high school… Don’t you remember how fucking awesome it was?”

“I do,” he chuckled. “But I’m not going to wear one myself.”

She sighed, shoulders slumping. “Too much attention, huh?” she said softly. “Well, you know you’ll stand out more if you’re not wearing one tonight…?”

He shrugged. Honestly, he just couldn’t be bothered to dress up. Halloween had rather lost its shine for him anyway. “Not if I hide in the kitchen all night and make too-strong cocktails for everyone,” he said, flashing her his most roguish grin. “Plus, I spent much of today carving pumpkins with nattering eighteen year olds who are far too old to be carving pumpkins on academic time, but —”

“— you’re an awesome teacher who understands the need to let off some steam on the holidays,” she interjected. “Plus, it’s good practice anyway… working with a new medium…”

He allowed his lips to pinch upwards into a tiny smirk and let her have that one. “It’s nice to see them having fun,” was all he said.  

An hour or so later, just as he arranged the last of the pumpkins down the garden path of Kay's Victorian semi-detached house, a voice murmured from behind him, “I can see the hand of a master at work in these carvings.”

Not having heard anyone approaching, Alec jumped, cursed, and dropped the pumpkin - thankfully with the candle still unlit. It rolled in a semicircle until a black boot gently stopped it, and a familiar face dipped into view as the owner of the boot bent to pick it up. To his surprise, it was Sebastien, and he was in costume. Probably anyway. Hopefully? Fuck. Alec’s brain stalled at the sight of him.  

His eyes raked up Sebastien’s body and his jaw went quite literally slack.  

The slender man was wearing thigh-high boots and leather pants so tight they had to have been spray-painted on, into which was tucked a loose, old-fashioned, white shirt with a good bit of flounce at the collar. “Holy shit,” he whispered, and Sebastien chuckled softly, a low, amused sound in the back of his throat.  

“You recognise the costume?” he asked, seeming innocently amused. The long, dark coat, accented with gold brocade and bright gold buttons, opened briefly in a soft gust of wind that made the lit pumpkins flicker and lifted his loose, silver-white hair back for a breath as well.  

“I…” he swallowed. “Uh, you’re Alucard,” he croaked. “From the Castlevania games…” A wry incline of Sebastien’s head told him he was correct, and then Alec blurted stupidly, “Shouldn’t you be shirtless though?”

Sebastien’s smile grew from pleased to deeply amused, his eyes glittering, and it was only then that Alec noticed the contacts burning a bright gold in his eyes and, as his lips peeled back and Sebastien began to laugh, he saw long, tapering, white canines befitting a vampire costume. “It’s a little cold for that, don’t you think?” Sebastien asked, still laughing quietly as Alec flushed crimson.  

“Sorry,” he blurted. “I know. I just… forget it.”

“Where do you want it?” Sebastien asked, and Alec’s poor brain went blank.  

“What?”

“The pumpkin,” Sebastien deadpanned and Alec’s poor, blank brain melted out of his ears with embarrassment.  

“Uh… there’s fine,” he said, pointing at the little wrought-iron garden gate.  

Sebastien placed the pumpkin down on the flagstone path so that the carved graveyard scene glimmered and flickered with appropriate spookiness, visible to anyone approaching along the quiet, suburban street. Enormous London plane trees stood sentry every few paces, heaving up the tarmac pavement with their roots, like a sleeper shifting a blanket with a restless turn, and sheltering the cars snuggled and parked beneath them. A carpet of leaves clung to the gutter in a long, golden line, melting into nothing in places in the glittering puddles. It would have been beautiful, had Alec not been faced with quite literally the most beautiful thing in the entire universe.  

“Am I early then?” Sebastien asked, dusting off his palms and turning back to face Alec, who had barely managed to make his legs work long enough to stand up straight again.  

He shook his head. “No. Henry’s inside already,” he said, running his fingers through his scruffy black hair. “With Rachel and Alison. I just forgot to put the pumpkins out earlier.”

“No costume?”  

With a roll of his eyes, he shook his head. “Nope.”

“Too bad,” Sebastien said, eyeing the front door. The contacts were really creepy, shifting in the light that spilled down the stairs as the front door suddenly opened and Kay stepped out before he could worry that he’d been the only one to dress up. He could probably brush it off anyway, Alec supposed, and tried not to envy the man’s quiet confidence.

Silhouetted starkly against the hall light, with her high ‘Dracula’ collar on prominent display, Kay shrieked with glee and clapped her hands when she saw Sebastien. Apparently the two of them had been getting along rather well, while Alec had sequestered himself away in the Art Department like an ascetic.  

“Bastien! You look amazing oh my god!” she blurted, rushing forwards a step or two before halting abruptly. “Wait, does that make me your father for the evening?” she cackled. “Wow, your teeth are really good! Mine wouldn't stay in for more than a few minutes…”

Sebastien’s gold eyes flickered sideways to Alec but it happened so briefly that he almost missed it. “Custom made a long time ago,” was all he said. “Shall we go inside? It’s freezing out here.”

“Yes, of course, come on in,” she said, waving them all inside, Sebastien first. As Alec passed her last, she slapped him hard on the backside in rebuke and hissed, “Told you you should have worn a costume! You look like a big dumbo!”

“No different from any other night,” he quipped back, and she growled something indistinct at him. Perhaps a werewolf costume would have suited her better. “You could have told me you’d invited Dulac…”

“Why?” she retorted. “So you could suddenly decide that an evening moping alone with your PS4 playing Rocket League with strangers was more appealing? No fucking chance. Get inside. Sebastien’s right; I’m freezing my tits off.”

The distant murmur of voices in the living room made him veer off instinctively into the kitchen, and while they began to watch some old Hammer horror film, he made drinks. That, at least, he was good at.  

Entering a while later, he found that Sebastien was seated on the sofa beside Henry, who wore an enormously fluffy wolfman costume - mostly a repurposed Chewbacca onesie with a latex wolf mask. He’d pushed the mask up onto his head in order to eat the Halloween themed nibbles on the coffee table, and the effect rendered him entirely ridiculous. Another reason not to wear a costume: it’s impractical, and gets in the way, and washing ketchup out of matted fake fur is a nightmare. Alison and Rachel sat practically in each other’s laps, one a zombie and the other a ghost, both squeezed into one groaning old armchair.  

After half an hour of Christopher Lee’s admittedly creepy Dracula, Alec slid from his seat at the periphery, and ducked out again into the kitchen. Straightening from fishing a beer from the back of the fridge, he heard the soft click of the door and turned to find Sebastien standing there.  

“Get bored with late 1950’s horror too?” Alec asked. “Beer?”

Sebastien inclined his head in a way that said he wasn’t a beer drinker and held up his almost-empty wineglass as an excuse as he moved a little closer. “If you don’t like cheesy horror films, and you don’t seem to like Halloween either, I wonder why you came at all tonight?”

“For Kay,” he said, as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. “She loves this shit.”

At that, Sebastien paused, a delicate smile on his face. In the soft glow of the under-cupboard lighting, his tanned skin seemed to shimmer, and Alec wondered fleetingly if he’d put some kind of glittery body powder on. Next, he wondered what on earth Sebastien was doing in here with him, looking at him like that.  

“You are a good friend,” Sebastien said quietly, seeming perhaps a little sad around the edges.  

“She’s done more than her fair share of looking after me,” Alec sighed knowingly. “Not that I’m doing it because I owe her,” he added, twisting the cap off the bottle and leaning back against the counter to drink deeply from it. As the malty froth washed over his tongue, he felt eyes on him and looked over at the other man.  

Sebastien tilted his head slightly to the side, the false golden light in his eyes making him look like a cat in the dark. “You said she was trying to set you up with someone…”

Alec snorted, nearly shooting beer out of his nose. “Yeah. Well, she seems to think a good fuck will sort my mood out.”

“But you think otherwise?”

“You offering?” he asked bitterly, taking another swig and feeling uncharacteristically bold, though absolutely not expecting the answer he got.  

“Perhaps.”

His eyebrows shot up and this time he did cough a little. “You can’t be serious.”

“You think someone who looks like me is entirely straight?” he asked with a wry smile, and Alec had to hand it to him. Not many men he knew could pull of long, luscious, white-blond hair like that, or would have the confidence to wear fucking thigh-high boots and whisper-tight leather pants…

“Still… you don’t really know me… That’s all I meant…”

“Doesn't mean one couldn’t engage in — how did you call it? — ‘a good fuck’. Not that I’m averse to getting to know you better, before or after.”

Alec swallowed another enormous gulp of frothing beer and blinked. “You’re serious?”

With a melodramatic smile that revealed his vampire teeth clearly, ‘Alucard’ purred, “Deadly.”

And Alec burst out laughing. The spell was shattered and the two men shared the remnants of their drinks and their laughter together before Alec sighed. “Your place or mine?”

At that, Sebastien seemed to falter, as if he hadn’t thought through to that point. After a moment’s hesitation, he said, “I assume yours would be alright?”

Alec shrugged. “Sure, if you don’t mind smacking your head on the ceiling and being able to touch two opposite walls at the same time…”

Sebastien’s lips hitched into another wry smile. “I’ve fucked in tighter spaces, I’m sure.”

“You know what?” Alec said as he rinsed out the beer bottle at the sink and half-turned to look at the other man over his shoulder. “You’re absolutely not what I expected.”

“Nor were you,” he shot back, still smirking. “And it’s been a while since I was assaulted by someone in a library.”

“Bring back happy memories, did it?” he snorted.  

“Not exactly,” Sebastien murmured, and Alec realised he hadn’t actually been joking. “But I must confess that — despite my behaviour — I was pleasantly surprised by the sight of you when you rounded that bookshelf…”

Turning, Alec approached him cautiously. If he was genuinely serious about his proposal, Alec would find out now. “Pleased enough to seek me out afterwards…” he said, raising his eyebrows. He couldn’t do that ‘one brow at a time’ thing that Sebastien could, but it seemed to get his tone across all the same.

Unusually for Alec, Sebastien had an inch or two on him in height, and as Alec paused in front of him, close enough to catch the faintest hint of a woody cologne, the man angled his face just perfectly for the light to dance along his high cheekbones. Fuck, he was exquisite. The urge to kiss him rose in Alec; to feel his lips against his own, to have those elegant hands scrunch his hair…  

As if reading his mind, Sebastien slowly, carefully, raised his right hand and brought his index finger to Alec’s chin, tilting it upwards just a fraction with the lightest pressure. The intensity in his eyes was almost too much, and it left Alec breathless. Again. Panting slightly, he parted his lips and then swallowed thickly.  

Sebastien’s eyes darted instantly to the motion of his throat and for a second, Alec could have sworn he saw a vibrant red light reflected in his eyes. Sensing his moment of hesitation, of tension, Sebastian frowned. “What?”

“Nothing,” Alec breathed. “I thought your eyes went red but it must have been a car on the street outside or something.”  

“Indeed,” he murmured, but then blinked rapidly. “Do you still wish to continue this?”

“Yes,” he whispered. Don't stop now. His whole body was thrumming in a way it hadn’t ever before with casual encounters. He felt alive for the first time in months.  

Sebastien stepped back, turning his face away a little more. “Should we make our excuses…?”

Alec shook his head. “Nah, Kay will know what’s going on anyway, and I don’t want to face her smug looks until tomorrow at the least.”

With a softly amused chuckle, Sebastien stepped back and allowed Alec to leave the room first. The hair on the back of his neck prickled as the other man followed behind, but he didn't turn around or look at him until they were outside on the main street.  

“It’s a bit of a walk…” Alec said, only realising then how long the walk would be. “I’m way over on the other side of town by the station…”

The continuing intensity of Sebastien’s scrutiny was beginning to shift from a turn-on to just marginally unnerving, but he told himself that an esteemed professor at one of the country’s finest universities, with more letters after his name than anyone his age had a right to possess, was unlikely to be truly dangerous for a one-night stand… right? There was something about the way he stared at Alec — an unmistakable hunger in his eyes — that made his skin prickle and his heartbeat jump instinctively. Like a deer before the gaze of a tiger, he was entranced.  

Unexpectedly, Sebastien’s easy stride slowed at the brick gateway to a small, gravel park that sat between an old church and a chemist, the latter closed at this time of night. “May I kiss you?” he breathed, still gazing at him unblinkingly, as though Alec were the pretty one in this equation, not him.  

Alec couldn’t help grinning. The way Sebastien’s eyes bored into him then drove all thought of threat and fear from his mind, and he nodded.  

The man’s hands were chilly from the night air, but the moment they cupped his jaw and drew Alec toward him, he forgot about that. He forgot about everything at the meeting of their lips. Sebastien began tentatively, merely brushing their lips together, but when his golden eyes fluttered closed, he deepened the gesture, tongue just begging entrance, teasing him before withdrawing, retreating and returning.  

Searing want shot down Alec’s spine and he arched into Sebastien’s taller body, hips seeking contact through his jeans. He moaned, deep and guttural, and it seemed to awaken something in Sebastien, because the man grabbed hold of the back of Alec’s hair and pulled his head slightly to one side to begin to kiss along his jawline, down to wards his neck. For a heartbeat, Sebastien froze there, nose pressed to his rabbiting pulse point, his teeth just grazing skin, before he exhaled harshly and stepped back. “We shouldn’t get carried away,” was all he whispered, stepping slightly out of Alec’s dazed field of view. “My place is nearer though.”

“Ok,” Alec said, still reeling. “Sure.”

When they reached the apartment building, his steps faltered in amazement. “You live… here?”

A slight flush seemed to warm Sebastien’s cheeks as he stepped up to the main doorway, only to have it opened from the other side by a man in livery. “Good evening, Monsieur Dulac,” said the friendly doorman instantly.  

“Good evening,” he replied. “This is my friend, Alec Twayblade.”

It was impossible for the doorman not to realise that his ‘friend, Alec Twayblade’ was going to be a little more than that for the night, but he never let a flicker of judgement pass across his face. From the concierge desk - Sebastien’s building had a fucking concierge desk too - another man looked up and wished them both a good evening as they headed for the lifts.  

“Does the English department also sell diamonds or drugs or something? How the fuck can you afford a place like this on a lecturer’s salary?” but even as he said it and the doors closed with a soft chime, he realised the truth of it. Sebastien’s aristocratic features and bearing were not merely a persona. They were truth. He stared up at him while Sebastien turned a key in the lift panel.

“Are you secretly royalty or something?” he whispered, only half joking.  

The man shot him an amused look and shook his head, silk-white hair whispering against the rougher wool of his costume coat. “No, of course not, but I do have some inherited wealth.”

Some? “So you don’t actually have to work at the university at all then?”

He made a so-so motion of his head and said, “No, not really, but I genuinely enjoy teaching.”

“Your students certainly seem to enjoy you…”

“You don’t enjoy teaching?” he asked as the numbers on the dial climbed and climbed.  

Please don’t say you live in the fucking penthouse too, Alec thought, already suspecting it might be true from the whole ‘special access key’. He glanced at the number pad and saw that the button labelled ‘PH’ was illuminated. Fuck. “Most days I enjoy it,” he admitted. “But I kind of fell into it a while back and just sort of…” he shrugged, “Stuck with it.”

Sebastien asked no more, and the lift finally stopped on the top floor. The doors drew back to reveal an apartment beyond that Alec could only gawp at. It was like something from the set of an Architectural Digest photo shoot. Nothing was out of place in the hardwood floor paradise, with clean, crisp lines and white marble counter tops in the kitchen off to his left, while a comfortable, and yet still clinically modern, sitting area sat to their right. Deep, fluffy rugs dotted that part of the penthouse, and a wide balcony stretched out over the city beyond, complete with a little table and chairs for warmer evenings.  

“This place is incredible,” Alec breathed, the reason for his even being here completely forgotten.  

Clearly sensing that, Sebastien smiled bashfully and said, “Would you like something to drink?”

Alec cleared his throat and hoped he wasn’t going to be faced with a choice between very expensive wines that he’d never heard of. “Sure… thanks.”

“White, red, beer, or whisky?” he asked, walking towards the kitchen and dumping his ‘Alucard’ coat over the back of a white sofa as he went. Alec’s mouth went dry as he watched the point where his narrow hips met the flowing material of the white shirt. Dear god, an arse like that shouldn’t be… well, it just shouldn’t be. And yet there it was. Clad in leather and looking positively delectable. “Or a soft drink?” he added when Alec remained silent.  

Aware of where his gaze had landed, Sebastien halted and looked back over his shoulder, long, loose, naturally straight hair already losing the curls that had been worked into it for the Alucard costume. Definitely not straight, if he owned hair curlers.  

“Uh…” Alec said, unsure what the question had even been now.  

“I’m going to pour myself a whisky, if that helps…?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Sebastien smiled, looking almost endeared by Alec’s inept stuttering. Surely he couldn’t be unused to such a reaction? “Make yourself at home then.”

With a smoky, peat-tinged whisky in a wide, heavy-bottomed tumbler set on his glass coffee table, Alec watched Sebastien turn the gas fire on, and, to his surprise, he came to a halt directly in front of him. Setting his own whisky down on the table with a deliberate, and yet delicate, clunk, Sebastien turned back to him and raked his eyes down Alec’s body in a way that made him flush hot all over. His cock twitched with interest and he tried not to preen under that gaze.  

Sebastien’s eyes and teeth were back to normal now, with no hint of the golden contacts or the vampire fangs, and Alec fleetingly assumed that he must have removed them at some point between getting the whisky and appearing in front of him looking like he was about to ravish him. Oh dear god, please let him be about to ravish me, he thought with a big, dumb grin spreading across his face.  

Seeing his reaction, Sebastien reached down and knelt facing him on the sofa, running his palm over the already-growing bulge in Alec’s jeans. Alec let out a deep grunt and rocked his hips up into the contact, throwing his head back against the soft, open weave of the white fabric. “Oh fuck,” he hissed.  

Sebastien’s fingers found the button of his jeans and deftly undid it, but he paused. “May I?” he asked, and Alec found himself nodding before he’d even worked out what Sebastien wanted.  

He found out a moment later, when his jeans were around his ankles and Sebastien was kneeling on the floor between his knees and licking a long stripe up the length of his rapidly hardening cock.  

“Oh god,” he panted as the wet heat of Sebastien’s mouth engulfed half of his length and then drew back to leave his wet tip exposed to the slight chill of the apartment air. The contrast stole his breath for a heartbeat, but Sebastien returned his attentions to his cock, gently sucking and working him to full hardness in a matter of minutes.  

Pleasure sparked through Alec’s whole body and he strained not to thrust back into Sebastien’s mouth, even as Sebastien took him right to the back of his throat, the tip of Alec’s cock nudging against the silky resistance of his throat.  

“Fuck, fuck, fuck…” he chanted as Sebastien’s fingertips just teased and caressed the underside of his balls too, and Sebastien hollowed his cheeks and sucked a little more insistently. “Oh fuck…” Really fucking eloquent here, Alec, he thought vaguely, but one look down at the vision kneeling between his legs and sucking him off drove even that thought from his brain.  

The suck and slide of Sebastien’s mouth was incredible, and while he had no idea quite how much time passed, it felt like mere seconds as the heat stoked in him until he could feel the orgasm threatening to crash through him. “I’m… I’m really close…” he gasped as Sebastien moaned against his cock, sending little vibrations thrumming through him and tipping him even closer. The sharp prick of his teeth every now and again was a perfect counterpoint to the slick heat of his mouth, and it was never enough to hurt. Normally Alec wasn’t one for including teeth in this, but with Sebastien, it felt perfect.  

Sebastien pulled back just as Alec felt himself beginning to coil up, his lips swollen and glistening from the exertion of bringing him that close, and he smiled. He looked radiant, and Alec’s cock twitched enthusiastically in his hands as he let out a soft whimper. The air was cold and his tip beaded pre-come freely, which Sebastien thumbed away with a surprisingly tender gesture, only to watch as more pearled immediately at his slit. Using just the tip of his tongue, Sebastien lapped at it delicately and Alec’s whole body shuddered.  

His thighs shook at the tiny, intense stimulation, with Sebastien's fingers gripping the base of his cock in a tight circle, and he gasped, chest heaving. It was too much and not enough, and as he found his perineum teased as well, he bellowed and trembled. He was half a heartbeat away from coming harder than he could ever remember coming in his life, and Sebastien wasn’t going to let him have it. He roared and ground his teeth, bucking his hips, which made Sebastien laugh softly.  

“Alright,” he heard him murmur, before he swallowed him down to the back of his throat again, and Alec shattered with a yell.

When he finally blinked his eyes open, he found that Sebastien had risen and was sitting on the small sofa beside him, whisky in hand, staring openly at him. He didn’t look smug exactly, but there was a quiet satisfaction to his brown eyes that made Alec flush, at which Sebastien’s beautiful lips drew back into a smile. He noted again those slightly larger canines, but they were nothing like the vampire teeth he had worn earlier.  

“What do you want?” Alec asked, voice hoarse. God, he sounded wrecked. Had he really shouted so hard he’d made his throat sore?

Sebastien’s dolorous, dark eyes crinkled slightly at the corners. “What do you want?”

“To watch you come,” he said immediately.  

“And how would you like me to come?” Sebastien replied, sipping nonchalantly at the golden liquor as if the were discussing what Alec would like Sebastien to wear. As it was, his leather pants were constricting his obvious hard-on in a way that had to be painful for him, and his shirt was open at the neck to reveal delicate collarbones and a glimpse of his beautiful olive skinned chest.  

He was an absolute vision. “Fuck, you’re so beautiful,” he blurted in a whisper before he could stop himself, and to his surprise, Sebastien laughed. The sound was bright, delighted, and oddly self-conscious, as if he hadn’t been expecting a compliment like that. “Sorry,” he added, looking away. “Look… if you’ve got condoms, I’m… I’m good to… you know…”

“You want me to fuck you?” Sebastien asked, his gaze sharpening again.  

“Yes?”  

“’Yes?’ Or ‘yes’…?” Sebastien asked, seeking clarification.  

“Yes. But I don't understand your question.”

“Look at me,” Sebastien said.  

“Hard not to…” Alec quipped back, still feeling utterly wrung out.  

“Most people assume I’m going to be the one taking it…”

Alec’s eyebrows rose as realisation settled. “Oh. And, what, I look like a top?”

Sebastien’s lips twitched. “Conventionally more so than I do, with your rugged looks and the rough shadow around your jaw…”

“So… do you want me to… you know…? Or…” Fuck, he felt like a teenager again, struggling to articulate himself and not get his sentences in a tangle while this breathtaking creature just sat there and watched him make an idiot out of himself.

“I very much want to fuck you,” Sebastien said at last. “If you’d like that as well.”

“Yes,” he said instantly.  

Sebastien set down his glass and rose in a single, elegant motion, and then held his hand out to Alec.

His skin was still cool, especially next to Alec’s searing body, and his hold was steady as Alec heaved himself to his feet and allowed himself to be alternately tugged and kissed into the bedroom. 

___

Part Three

Behold, plot has appeared to go with the Halloween porn I had planned. Alec’s family will come up in the next chapter.

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I really hope you folks enjoyed this one! Don’t forget to let me  know if you did enjoy it by leaving a like and/or reblogging it!

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[admiral-alby]

not to be years too late. but like. I’ve been rewatching teen wolf. and I just finished 6B finally (I followed TW very closely in its heydays and ultimately stopped watching after 6A). and I know we are all WELL aware of writing oversights, poorly done plot points, outright disregard for previously established lore, etc. but I’ve been thinking obsessively over this one instance that I just. need to share. under the cut for anyone that cares to listen I don’t promise I’ll make sense but food for thought and etc.

in the first few episodes (if not the first? I can’t remember don’t hate me I binged all 10 eps in two nights it’s all blended together rn) there’s a scene where Lydia visits her mom (the principle of BHHS) in her office and gives her a list of every supernatural in BH. presumably it’s a leftover of the whole dead pool thing but she wants her mother to have it to be prepared and have the knowledge so she can look out for the kids on the list. her mom rejects it and feels it’s not their responsibility etc etc and doesn’t want to take the list. Lydia slips the list in a drawer in her mom’s desk and we never think about it ever again.

well spoiler alert: I’m thinking about it. I’m mad about it, actually. honestly when I first saw the scene I thought. okay whatever as one would reasonably do. and then I started thinking about it. and thinking about it. and then I thought, oh wow, this is a set up. 100%.

with the new Hunter army emerging, Monroe spearheading the anti supernatural campaign with Gerard whispering in her ear… Monroe is the (very concerning) guidance counsellor at BHHS. she interacts with the principle at some point no doubt I mean she’s faculty. and it would be plausible for her to be in the principle office. do you see where I’m going with this? I was so excited. can you imagine?

if you don’t quite see through my rambling. drawing conclusions means it would be very easy for Monroe to eventually happen upon this list. of every supernatural in BH… I mean it’s in the principles top drawer unlocked for gods sake. RIPE FOR THE PICKING. we are showed it, we’re given a scene about it, god forbid I made the assumption it was deliberate and a smoking hot chekov’s gun. (should I have known better? probably.)

I was so incredibly disappointed when nothing came of it. can you IMAGINE? if Monroe got her hands on that list… holy shit. just thinking about it fills me with horrible dreaded glee. I mean she was very resourceful and was able to manipulate (literal children no less) to systematically weed out the supernatural and she very targeted on Scott’s pack specifically but. having that list? goldmine. death and destruction. and it could have been used in such a great way to highlight some of the characters and add motivation and etc.

like. Monroe finds the list that Lydia gave to her mom with the best of intentions. indirectly, Monroe got the list FROM Lydia. indirectly, Lydia has all this blood on her hands (harbinger of death anyone) and she would feel so guilty and helpless. and how does she deal with that? how does the pack deal with that? what a motivator as well to double down to take the hunters out. I just really think it was set up so nicely and would have been SO satisfying to see it play out this way. and it’s a shame it wasn’t capitalized on. I know shit went down but the hell that would have been raised if it went like this… the real all out brutal war it would have been when the hunters already knew the names of all the supernaturals they were hunting. oof. and the best part. very little of the plot would realistically have to change. just a few very small tweaks here and there. ughhhhh teen wolf why do you betray us like this.

please if you made it this far. talk to me. tell me what you think. am I crazy. be honest.