#this has gotta be the best image i’ve ever made

[illumiskneecaps]

i just realized ive never posted hisokas plastic surgery adventure timeline on a public account

[stylespctals]

The nanny | Part 1 - Pining

Summary: where Y/N is the nanny for a little girl named Stevie Styles. Her job consists of traveling all around the world with the girls rockstar dad - Harry Styles. What happens when Y/N and Harry start having feelings for one another?

A/N: This is my first writing on tumblr sorry if i’m rusty! I’ve written fanfictions for other celebs but never harry, hope you enjoy!

Word count: 1.4k

warnings: sickening fluff, sexual acts, mention of death, mentioning childbirth, harry being such a loving boy, y/n being shy

Read part 2 here

——————————————————————————

“Stevie I’m sorry your daddy won’t be home till later.” you say, trying to comfort the crying four year old.

“But I want daddy.” She screams. Starting to throw a tantrum; you don’t know how to stop it. Stevie has never thrown one before.

You became the nanny for Stevie two years ago when Harry realized it wasn’t possible to travel the world alone with a two year old.

Stevie’s mother passed when giving birth, her and Harry weren’t together. The conception was a drunken one night stand where Jessie- Stevie’s mother- convinced Harry she was on birth control. She wasn’t. Harry was so angry after that, but he also knew he was at fault for not taking an extra precaution. After she passed he mourned her pretty hard. He knew the effect it would have on his baby girl.

He realized he was relying too much on friends to look after Stevie when he was busy that he ended being forced to bring her to events she wasn’t welcome at. He knew he needed to get a nanny but he wasn’t comfortable leaving her alone with a stranger. That’s when he met you.

You and him met at a bar. Jeff invited Harry out to drinks with him and few of his and Glenne’s friends. You and Glenne were super close.

You guys hit it off super well and Harry knew you were the person he wanted as his nanny. He found out you are a nanny and immediately asked you if you would be his. He offered you triple what you other options would’ve paid, which made you laugh and assure him you didn’t need that and you would be honored to nanny such a sweet girl.

And here you are now, best friends with an international pop star and the nanny of the best girl in the world; trying to calm down the sweet girl.

“Shhh Stevie it’s okay, daddy will back soon I promise.” you say soothingly, trying to stop the four year old from squirming out of your arms.

“No!” the little girl screams, getting up and running to the couch; she puts her head on it and starts hitting it.

“Stevie Anne that is not a way to act!” Harry says sternly. Walking into a scene he never had before.

“Daddy!” she cries as she runs up and hugs his legs. Crying the hardest she ever has.

Harry frowns, realizing something is wrong.

He picks her up and places her on his hip, she wraps her arms around his neck and sits there and cries.

“What’s wrong love bug.” he says moving her curly red hair away from her face.

She’s a spitting image of Harry, except for her bright ginger hair.

You sit there and watch as Harry talks to Stevie in a calm soft voice and wipes her tears away. Smiling loving how different he is with her.

“I’m going to go put her to bed.” he mouths to her, Stevie was falling asleep in the comfort of her father’s arms.

You nod, he takes off towards the steps. You start cleaning up.

You’re in the kitchen when harry returns downstairs. He sits down at the bar stool and sighs.

“Is everything okay?” you ask. Grabbing him a glass of wine and sitting down next to him.

“Thanks.” he says taking a sip of the wine. “She was just really upset that i’ve been gone, it’s been a while since she’s been without seeing me all day. I didn’t know it would put this much effect on her but now I realize it is.” he says, rubbing his forehead while downing his glass of wine.

“Ay take it easy.” grabbing the wine glass out of his hand you go and set it in the sink. “You hate drinking while on tour. If you’re going to you gotta take it slow, alright?”

“Yeah yeah I know sorry i’m just stressed I feel terrible for making her upset. And i know she probably took it out on you, I hate to put you through that. She’s usually such a great kid and never has any problems.” he groans, putting his head against the granite countertops.

“H, it’s alright. This is what i signed up for, to be a nanny for this precious little girl through all the bad moments. Okay?” you say, placing your hand on his, making tingles run up your spine at the contact.

He looks up at you with this soft look in his eyes that you can’t decipher. He squeezes your hand with a smile and mumbles a thank you.

You smile at him and he pulls you into a tight hug.

You feel him take a deep breath through his nose; nuzzling into your soft hair.

He plants two kisses on your temple and pulls away, looking you deeply into your eyes. “You’re the best you know that?” he says, not taking his eyes off yours.

You get a little flustered under his gaze and look away blushing.

“Yeah whatever.” you shrug, hiding your eyes from his. His hand grabs your chin and makes you look at him again

“I’m serious Y/N. I couldn’t ask for someone better to do this with. I thought I was going to be alone raising her and I was so scared. Then you came along and you’re the biggest help and everything I needed to help me and her through this.” He says moving his hand to your cheek.

This brings tears to your eyes; you pull him for a right hug again and cry into his shoulder. “Thank you for letting me into her life. I don’t know what i’d do without you and her.” you sniffle, pulling away to wipe and your eyes.

He smiles and wipes your tears.

Oh my god you’re melting.

“I think maybe we should both get some sleep we seem pretty emotional.” he chuckles as he stands up out of his seat. He holds his hand out for you and you take it.

“Come on i’ll run a bath for you. You deserve it.” he says dragging you to the en-suite bathroom.

You swing your feet giddily as you pull yourself up on the counter and watch him prepare the bath. Is it bad you can feel yourself getting wet beneath your panties? Something about a man pampering you really gets you going.

“Okay all set.” he walks over to you and lifts you up off the counter. Making you smile. “See you in the morning sweets, I got a free day tomorrow and I want to spend it with you and Stevie, so be up and ready by 10! Have a surprise for you two.” he kisses your cheek again which makes your heart race.

“Goodnight, H.” you blush. Again. He gives you a wink then leaves the room.

You get undressed and into the bath.

You shamefully rub yourself to an orgasm thinking of your boss.

——————————————————————————

Harry’s fucked. Being in love with your nanny?

These type of things only happens in books.

I guess not for Harry.

You were constantly on Harry’s mind. He woke up thinking about you and went to bed thinking about you.

He also thought about you in other ways. Which he was a little shameful about.

With his hand wrapped around his shaft stroking himself thinking about you underneath him whining and begging him to fuck you.

He can’t even be shameful when that’s all on his mind.

He knows it’s wrong but he’s been in love with you since the beginning. He just doesn’t know how to tell you.

He imagines all the way he’s could confess to you, but, what if you don’t feel the same? That’s a nagging fear in the back of Harry’s mind.

What if you’re just in it for the money? What if you are doing this because he’s Harry Styles? That sounds so narcissistic he thinks but he can’t help his mind go there after that being the case in multiple of his past relationships.

He try’s to rid these thoughts as he cleans himself up, then nestles into his covers.

“I’m going to confess tomorrow.” He says to himself, not even knowing if that’s the truth or not.

——————

Thank you so much for reading I hope you enjoyed, I will have part to you tomorrow!

I also will be making a post about request if you have any!

[kedsandtubesocks]

drive ╏ roll-a-trope fic challenge

Joel Miller x F!Reader

summary: An early birthday celebration trip for Joel arrives & you’re excited to tag along… there’s just something you’ve been meaning to tell him about

prompt: #2 - road trip

warnings/tags: no explicit warnings but all my writing is 18+ only so MDNI, no use of y/n, pre-outbreak canon, established relationship, brief pov switch, light gendered language usage, Sarah Miller being the best, thoughts of marriage & children, hidden/surprise pregnancy, fluff & then ending angst (I’m sorry)

word count: 2k

a/n: thank you so much to @burntheedges for putting on this challenge for us, I’m so grateful to be a part of this thanks again Kate! Divider by the amazing @saradika-graphics (thank you & ily) & to you, if you’re reading this - thank you so much ♡

The drive from Austin to Corpus Christi was not one Joel took often, but this time it’s special.

This is first road trip with his girls, you and Sarah. It’s an early birthday week celebration for him. And honestly? He could just be on the road, driving around all day with no destination, and he wouldn’t mind a damn minute.

You by his side, Sarah in the back singing along to the radio - he never thought he’d ever find this slice of heaven before him.

He knew how nervous you were about the trip, knowing this would be another big step in the relationship. But with how effortlessly natural it was seeing you wake up in his bed, help pack the truck, even make breakfast for Sarah… a settling sensation filled his chest like you were always meant to be here, like realizing you were a finishing stitch into Joel’s life.

It’s a perfect early birthday treat he wants to savor forever.

With the windows rolled down, the traces of the morning sunlight illuminating the air, the beat of the radio, and you laughing at something Sarah said, Joel Miller is beyond content. The scenery from the Austin city limits blurs into soft hills that turn into stunning stretches of green. Then the towering palm trees arrive.

The few benefits of the Texas heat is still getting beach days in mid September.

The shimmer of the ocean already in sight perks Sarah up, and Joel beams.

“Dad, we have to go to those beach shops first please.” She urges, then eagerly explains to you the lure of the way too ridiculous tourist trap spots.

“Some even have these huge fake sharks in front you can take pictures with.” Sarah paints the image with brilliant excitement.

You’re glancing back at Sarah, hanging on her every word with graced patience, and Joel thinks his heart might melt out of his ribs.

He’s found something special here with you. He almost feels selfish at how badly he wants to hold onto it tight, never let you go.

As promised, before heading to the shoreline, Joel stops by a tourist shop that has a very large plastic shark wide with its teeth open before the door.

You laugh, twinkling and brilliant seeing it.

“See I told ya!” Sarah laughs happily.

“Oh we gotta take all the pictures with it.” You eagerly suggest and Joel wonders…

If maybe inside he grabs one of those ridiculous sea shell rings and propose to you right here and now.

-

The shop stands coated in a unique type of plastic over coated painted wonder. There’s a painted mural of seagulls flying over a bright pink sky on the wall. Another wall is coated top to bottom in various t-shirts that make you and Sarah giggle. So many wind chimes made of seashells hang from above.

You can’t believe your eyes trying to soak it all in.

“They even have hermit crabs here?” You’re a bit surprised at the rows of take home creatures that crawl around in their containers.

“Yes, ugh I’ve been trying to convince dad to let me get one for years.” Sarah sighs slightly pouting. “But he isn’t a fan.”

“Say it’s his birthday present.” You joke, and Sarah snickers.

You adore Joel’s daughter. Sarah is bright, incredibly clever and sweet, a pure wonder you’re grateful has allowed you into her and her dad’s life.

She even has been secretly telling you what she might be getting Joel for his birthday.

“I think I’m gonna just end up fixing his watch for him. I know he won’t ever do it himself.” She’s a considerate and deeply caring soul. Something she takes after her dad beautifully.

“Well if you need me to cover for you or take you, I can help.” You offer.

Sarah turns to you wearing the kindest smile and thanks you for the offer.

“But I think I got a plan. If it doesn’t work out though, trust me you’re my first alibi.” She nods firm.

“I’m honored, just don’t have me breaking you out of jail just yet.” You grin, and she playfully nudges you.

It’s affectionate. You learned fast the Millers love to tease, love showing their affection with quick wit and deep bonding. You’re grateful to be a part of that now.

Sarah eventually wanders back to Joel. You wonder if she’s really going to try and persuade him to get a hermit crab.

Wandering on your own now, you stumble across more clothing.

Specifically, you find yourself gravitated to the baby clothes section.

The small little onesies with dolphins on them, and the few cute shirts that say my first beach trip, all tug at your heart.

It takes everything in you not to grab one.

But you don’t want to spoil your birthday gift to Joel, not yet. You just found out earlier this week after all.

You just had to wait a little longer. You hope it will be worth it.

Before Joel or Sarah can spot you, you try finding one of the Millers first. Sarah of course chats with one of the cashiers at the hermit crab counter, and you snicker walking towards Joel. He stands surveying the kitschy fish wall decorations.

“I think we’re going to be going home with an extra little crawling critter. Sarah’s persistent.” You smirk.

Joel rolls his eyes.

“She can try all she want, but we ain’t taking a damn crab home.” He drawls out with a classical grumpy Joel pout. “Unless it’s fried.”

You snicker moving to lean against his side while an indescribable affection, a cotton candy delicate sweetness, blooms in you and you haven’t even gotten to the beach yet.

Joel must sense it too. His arms immediately draw you into him more, and he kisses the top of your head.

“Glad we took this road trip.” He mutters soft.

“Me too.” You agree rubbing his back.

“Sarah said we should make it yearly thing.” He adds.

“We should. Good way to celebrate your birthday early.” You fondly say.

He huffs. “Don’t want any crazy celebration I told ya. Just my girls, Tommy, and maybe a cake, that’s all I need.”

“Nothing crazy huh?” You tease soft.

“Baby, haven’t had a crazy birthday since I was twenty and ain’t wanted one since.” He snorts.

Now slight fear tugs at you. Maybe you should tell him your surprise now, or sooner than expected.

“Hey,” Joel’s soft warm hand moves to your face letting his thumb softly rub your jaw. “Y’okay, darlin’?”

You swallow hard, but nod with a smile.

“Yup just ready to get to the beach.” You half lie.

“Me too,” then he leans down closer to your ear. “Can’t wait to see how fuckin’ sexy you’ll be in that swim suit of yours-”

“Joel Miller.” You cry playfully aghast and swat his chest.

Joel rolls his eyes, yet a smile tugs at his lips.

Soon enough Sarah calls out for her dad causing you and him to slowly pull away.

The beach is calling too after all.

-

The rain patters a soft steady melody against the truck. You’re thankful everyone got in a few good hours in the waves, soaking in the nice weather, before the rain drops began. A downfall to Texas weather is its unpredictability.

Sarah sleeps soundly in the back tired out from enjoying the beach.

Sitting in the passengers detached in the cozy warmth of the truck, you even catch your eyes dropping shut every now and then.

“Get some rest, sweetheart. We still got a few hours on the road.” Joel, ever considerate, softly says over the radio.

You decide to maybe just rest for a little bit, settling into the seat more.

“Sorry we didn’t get to spend a full day at the beach.” You mutter, closing your eyes.

“Don’t be sorry, honey,” Joel reassures warm. His hand slides over to squeeze your knee closest to him across the counsel.

“Today was great.” His voice is thick, earnest in the buried emotions waiting for you to sink into. Now opening your eyes again, you glance over to Joel.

The soft stormy lighting coats him dreamy and cozy. His hair is even still fluffed up from the sand and sea, the picture perfect dreamy vacation man or possibly a mythical sea god you’ve luckily caught onto land. He’s incredibly handsome, your Joel.

“Thanks for coming.” He adds above a soft whisper.

“Thanks for letting me tag along.” You reply back just as soft, delicate.

“Of course,” his eyes flicker to you briefly. “Here’s hopin’ to many more trips together.”

Your heart swells, and you wonder if you might just get swept into the current of Joel Miller forever.

“Here’s to more trips together.” You repeat, solidifying his words into your soul.

You hope he’ll be happy with the news you have. You’re still hesitant about it, but right now, simple tender peace envelopes you right now in this moment.

“Love you, Miller. Happy early birthday.” You say half asleep as the exhaustion creeps in.

“Thanks baby, love y’too.” His voice floats in with the rain drops, and it's beautiful.

Your eyes glance out at the misty road blurring before you and how the rain paints the world in a water color soaked dream. Closing your eyes, you decide to get some sleep on this drive.

Maybe you will tell him about your surprise when you get home.

Then Joel’s phone buzzes.

From what you catch, it’s Tommy. Must be something about work because Joel’s voice low takes on his contractor big brother boss tone.

“Yeah, I’ll check it out when I get home.” He sighs annoyed, tired.

Joel’s been so busy this month. You even know how much it took for him to take time for this trip.

A heaviness weighs you down, and a slight edge of guilt follows. Maybe you’ll wait to tell him on his actual birthday. Surprise him with the little longhorn onesie you bought ready to show him and of course Sarah.

In the truck, you simply slip into the cocoon of crystalized peace here. You already dream of another beach trip, the next time maybe with a baby car seat in the back and Sarah happily cooing over her sibling…

And your hand holding Joel’s staring out at the road ahead, hopeful for this new path with him.

-

Sarah’s morning knock jolts you and Joel up wearily out of bed.

“Didn’t know we slept in so late.” Joel mutters, dragging you closer into his sleepy hold.

“Mhm, early birthday sex would do that to ya.” You reply with a grin.

Today’s the day.

“Happy birthday baby.” You whisper adoringly, pressing your lips to his, basking in this moment with him.

“Thanks sweetheart.” His warm sleepy voice drips molten sin, and it’s hard fighting the urge to call into work today and begging Joel to do the same.

The morning is eased, perfectly Joel. Sarah even cooks eggs for everyone and soon enough Tommy joins.

A part of you wants to blurt out your announcement now with all the Millers here, but then contract work again takes over the focus of the conversation. Then the weird news announcement about Jakarta shifted the conversation. But you try not to worry about it.

Today would be a good day.

It’s Joel’s day after all.

As Joel talks to his neighbors, Sarah makes an excuse about forgetting something then drags you off to the side.

“Dad’s gonna forget a cake, I just know it.” She sighs knowingly.

“Don’t worry, I’ll pick one up.” You reassure her warm.

She beams warm then hugs you tight.

Normally Joel drives you to work, but now with the mission of picking up the cake, you use the excuse of needing to stay late as to why you take your car.

Joel pouts but gives you a sweet see you later kiss.

Tommy almost seems to know something is up cause he winks knowingly at you.

It’s a soft morning, a rare beautiful day already with Austin traffic being somewhat manageable.

You happily reassure yourself you’ll tell Joel about the baby when you get home from work. You hope to

surprise him with a cake and then the little extra sweet announcement with it.

Still sitting in Austin traffic, the radio again discusses the news of Jakarta now going on lockdown. The somber tone sends a chill up your spine. You simply change the radio to another station.

You let your mind return to that possible dream of the road trips to come, and of the little onesie sitting in your work bag waiting.

Today is going to be a good day. You just know it.

[josephquinnswhore]

could you do a little fluff of pedro (or any of his characters) x plus!size reader where reader buys new lingerie for his birthday and he's like lemme take a picture and he takes a polaroid pic and sticks it in his wallet and then they go out with friends and one of his friends for shits and giggles takes his wallet and sees the picture and they're like "👁️🫦👁️ wow she's hot" and he gets jelly

ilysm kisses 🫶🏾

Polaroid - pedro pascal x female reader

Summary: an image meant for Pedro’s eyes only, ends up being seen by curious eyes who make inappropriate comments.

Word Count: 2.2k

Content Warning: lewd language, Pedro being horny as fuck, taking nudes, Pedro swearing/getting jealous. Slight smut but not really, unprotected p in v but no actual sex.

Note: THANK YOU FOR THIS REQUEST. I’m a plus size person myself so I’ll divulge into this so hard. 🫶🏼

Through the years you’d always put a lot of thought into Pedro’s gifts, whether it be a sentimental gift, such as the hand painted family portrait of him and his sisters you’d gifted last year for his 47th birthday. Or something he needed but would never tell you he needed. He didn’t need to tell you, because you always listened and figured out simply by listening; such as a new laptop during covid lockdown so he could do interviews via Skype and Zoom call.

This year, you were stumped. You figured it wouldn’t hurt to ask Oscar to help you with what to gift Pedro. You FaceTimed him, his warm smile is the first thing you’re met with, his messy mop of dark curls fell onto his forehead, some grey hairs visible through the bad lighting. “Hey Osc, I’ve got a favour to ask.” His eyebrows shot up In curiosity. “Go on.” He encourages.

“I don’t know what to gift Pedro for his birthday, he’s made it entirely impossible this year. No hints, no nothing.” Oscar raises an eyebrow, “you, the best gift giver doesn’t know what to give her boyfriend for his birthday?” You bit your lip, embarrassed as you walk around throwing some pieces of rubbish in the bin, trying to keep your mind busy as you stress about this present, with only 7 days until his 48th birthday, you felt your blood pressure rising as the days came closer and you still hadn’t gotten him anything.

“I know, I know. Can you help me or not?” A mischievous smirk crawls onto his lips, something that had your suspicion spiking. “What are you smirking at Oscar? Tell me what you’re thinking.” He shrugs casually, “get some lingerie for him, do a sexy photoshoot or something.” You bite your lip in uncertainty, “are you sure it’ll be good enough?” The older man huffs, “you’re joking right? Have you seen the way he looks at you?”

You hum, deep in thought as you realise Oscar’s right, Pedro does love your body, your curves and perfectly natural breasts, the cellulite on your rounded ass cheeks. The way he can grab handfuls of your thighs and how they feel wrapped around the back of his head as he dives face first into your cunt, he even loves the way your soft tummy slightly hangs over your pubic bone.

“Hey, you still with me?” Oscars voice snaps you out of your trance, figuring it wouldn’t hurt to try something new, if Pedro didn’t like it, which was unlikely, you’d know for next year, and bonus, you’d have a new set of lingerie. “Uh yeah, thanks Oscar I gotta go, bye!” You quickly hang up before he has the chance to say his farewells. Lingerie, it’s gotta be sexy, accentuate your curves and be the best gift he’s ever received. You pull your hair up into a messy bun before making a beeline straight for your car, keys in hand, jingling as you speed walk, eager to get to the shops.

The lingerie shops ambiance is unmatched, the pink neon sign drew you in, once you were in you didn’t want to leave, the golden hue of the light was soft on your eyes, the faint scent of rose water had been spritzed into the air with the fan circulating air around the small store, the quiet hum of a SZA song played from the small portable radio that sat on the wall shelf behind the counter.

There were so many options, too many colours and plus sized inclusive sizes. The shop attendant approaches you with a smile, “can I help you at all?” You smile nervously, “yes please! I’m wanting a new set, for my boyfriends birthday. Has to be super sexy. It also has to be purple, that’s his favourite colour.” You explain meekly, your cheeks reddening at the fact you’re telling all of this to a stranger, she leads you to a section of purple garments, all stunning in their own right. “He’s one lucky man. Do you need help with the sizing?” You tell her your size, she flicks through and finds all purple items in your size, stacking them on the front desk. “You can flick through them or feel free to try them on.”

You pick up the first set and hum uncertainly, feeling like it was not what you wanted, the material certainly wouldn’t cover much at all, you wanted something with more coverage. The second set was nicer, but still not something that wowed you, the small silver studs were definitely too much in your opinion. The third set you picked up you gasped, the colour was beautiful, rich and thick in the back of the bra, it had 5 clasps which would offer more support, it had harnesses that would look sexy with some stockings clipped to the harness. It had a stunning chest piece that would expose your cleavage and make it look sexy, the lacey material would would look beautiful on your skin.

“Can I try this on?” The lady smiles, “please! Go for it. Our dressing rooms are just to the left here.”

You underestimated how good you would look in this piece of lingerie, it made your hips look bigger, your curves softened and your breasts looked incredible, not to mention how nice your assed looked. The purple on your skin tone was like it was made for you, you felt sexy and knew this was the one.

“I’ll take this one, thank you.” As you return to the counter and set the lingerie down as she scans it, you pay the $120 on card and smile as she puts it into a paper bag with the store name on it. “I know he’s going to love it. Good luck!” The lady farewells and you thank her for her help before sitting in the car, all these scenarios running through your head about how Pedro will react.

“Happy birthday baby!” You cheer as Pedro steps into your apartment, the house smelt delicious, you’d cooked his favourite meal, the food simmering and getting to be plated. The room was littered with purple and silver balloons, red rose petals led down the hall to the bedroom, the scent of just blown out bubblegum candles lingers as the wick starts to smoke. “Thank you baby. Look at this, it’s incredible.” You pull him into a hug, squeezing your arms around him as his scent swirls up your nose and makes you inhale. “This isn’t the gift baby, it’s in the bedroom. I’ll get it for you.” You offer, rushing to the bedroom and know you need to move quickly, you’d practised a few times over the past couple days knowing you had a time frame of a few minutes before Pedro got impatient.

You pull your nice dress off and throw it into the hamper, setting up the balloons nicely and the love heart shaped rose petals on the bed, setting the candles alight, you slip your heels on and open the cupboard draw to set up the Polaroid camera so it was facing you. “Baby, you okay?” Your heart races, you need to finish up, now. You take your hair out and let it fall down, sitting up as you lean your weight on one hand behind you, setting one knee up on the bed, you let the other fall flat. “Actually baby I could use some help if you don’t mind.”

Your heart is in your mouth as you hear his footsteps near the bedroom, the squeak of the bedroom door is deafening as he opens it. His mouth drops when he sees you, the purple lingerie that covers your body is looking incredible on your body and you know it. Pedro’s dark orbs are scanning your body, groaning as he sees the Polaroid camera, shuffling in the spot as his cock grows hard and awfully uncomfortable in the confines of his jeans. “Fuck baby you’re gunna kill me.” You hum and look at him through your lashes, something you know drives him crazy. “Looking so fucking perfect for me, this is all for me hm baby?” You nod, “all for you Pedro.”

He picks up the white Polaroid camera and steps back, snapping the image of you posing, capturing the decorum of the room, “I love you so much.” He moans, his fingers gripping the image as it prints out, he was quick to snap an up close photo of you smiling, eyes closed teeth baring, he knew this would be his favourite.

“Let me see those perfect tits baby.” You lie down on the bed, your back being itched by the rose petals. He snaps a few pictures. “On your knees, honey.” You obey him and stretch your arms out toward the pillows, arching your back and raising your ass in the air, a grunt leaves Pedro’s lips as he smacks your ass, your gasp turns into a moan as he smacks your other asscheek, pushing yourself further back towards him. The camera snaps a few pictures, the redness of his handprint visible on your asscheeks. “So fucking perfect.” His thick fingers play with the small amount of fabric, getting a good look at your weeping cunt that’s soaked for him. “Fuck baby you’re dripping, roll back over.” You roll into your back, your hair sprawled onto the bed underneath you. Pedro, with one hand unbuckles his belt with a groan, undoing his jeans to relieve the tightness that caged his hardness.

He pulls your lingerie covering your cunt to the side, getting a perfect look at you. He palms himself roughly before pulling his underwear off entirely. Pulling his shirt underneath his chin. He slides his thick cock into you, your body squirming at the feeling, “fuck-so fucking big Pedro.” He groans, only pushing himself half way into you, before wrapping one large hand around your neck and takes a photo with the other hand, of his cock inside your cunt, hand wrapped around your neck and your perfect body clad in this purple lingerie.

“What about dinner?” You whimper, hearing the whir of the camera printing the obscene image. Pedro tosses the image along with the others onto the bed beside you, along with the camera. “Dinner can wait baby, I gotta have you. So fucking perfect. This is the best birthday gift ever.”

You would have to thank Oscar for the advise.

Two days later on the weekend was when everyone was out at a bar celebrating Pedro’s birthday, they had all insisted on spending time with him, Oscar had rallied some old and new friends of his, the bar jam packed and booked to yourselves thanks to Oscar.

The music was loud and you were having a great time, catching up with some old friends. “Hey honey, can I get you another drink?” You finish your beverage, the alcohol making you a little lightheaded, your bladder begging for release. “Sure baby. Just gotta duck to the toilet. I’ll be back.” You kiss him on the lips, missing his warmth and taste as soon as you pull away, shimmying through the crowd of drunk friends.

“Hey man, I’ll just get another beer and a cocktail.” Pedro leans against the bar, knee bent as he pulls his card from his wallet, paying for the drinks. “Hey man. Whoa, I gotta see this.” Oscar snatches Pedro’s wallet, Charlie Hunnam steps behind him, “dude no way.” Pedro leaves the drinks on the bar, “Oscar, give it back man.” Charlie huffs, “you get to have that all to yourself, so unfair, she’s so sexy.” They pull the Polaroid of you out half way trying to get a better look, Pedro’s hand is wrapped around your throat and thankfully they don’t pull it out entirely, the thought of his friends seeing him inside of you was too much. He didn’t need them seeing you like that, exposed and taking him perfectly, he didn’t want them thinking of you like that, or getting any ideas.

Pedro snatches the wallet back, pushing the Polaroid back into his wallet and shoving it into his Jean pocket. “Don’t ever touch that again, you hear me?” Pedro growls, his jealous getting the best of him as he turns around to pick up the drinks, they throw their hands up in surrender, “we’re cool man, alright.” You walk up to the bar and press a tipsy kiss to Pedro’s lips, he hands you the drink and you sip, groaning at how perfect it was made. Pedro’s free hand grips your ass and gives it a tight squeeze.

“Oh, hey guys!” You didn’t notice the two men standing there at first, they were watching Pedro claim you, his possessiveness shining through even though he knew you’d never do anything to make him worry. You were just incredibly sexy and that image wasn’t for their eyes, you were his and only his.

You turn back to Pedro and a drunk smile sits crookedly on your lips. “Happy birthday baby.” You whisper. Pedro pulls you into him and he kisses you, he moans into the kiss as if it were just you two, as if the bar wasn’t full of his family and friends. You hook your finger into the belt loop of his jeans. Throwing the glass back before licking your lips seductively, “what do you say we go home handsome?”

Pedro only nods, giving his friends a lazy smirk and a wink as his hand rests on your ass on the way out of the bar.

[kikimurphys]

Behind Closed Doors (Part 21)

Monday arrived, and the weekend felt like it had slipped through your fingers in the best way possible. The days had been a pleasant blur of naps, baking treats for yourself, the baby, and Niall, who had quickly stolen a piece of your heart. Having him stay over had been a joy—he was a sweet, well-behaved boy, and his presence made the house feel warmer, more alive.

Now, at your prenatal checkup, you lay back on the examination table as Dr. Nelly prepared the ultrasound wand. Cillian sat beside you, his hand firmly wrapped around yours, offering silent reassurance. The steady hum of the machine filled the room as the gel spread cool across your belly.

“Let’s take a look,” Dr. Nelly said kindly, moving the wand across your skin. The black-and-white image of your baby flickered to life on the screen, and both you and Cillian smiled instantly, relief washing over you.

“She looks perfect,” Dr. Nelly assured you, adjusting the screen so you could see more clearly. “She’s measuring well, and everything looks as it should.”

“See, babe? She’s all right,” Cillian murmured softly, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. His tone was gentle but tinged with pride, as though he’d known all along she was fine and had been waiting to tell you so.

You glanced at him, feeling a warmth in your chest. Over the past few weeks, you and Cillian had grown closer than you ever thought possible. Sharing the same bed, his constant reassurances of love, and his tender gestures had gradually chipped away at your anxieties. While there hadn’t been any sex, beyond a few moments of relief you’d offered him—partly out of guilt for his patience with you—you finally felt secure in the love he had for you. It was a strange kind of peace, one you hadn’t dared to hope for.

“And the placenta?” you asked, your voice a little tentative.

Dr. Nelly moved the wand slightly, her brows furrowing in concentration as she examined the monitor. After a few moments, she gave you a reassuring smile. “Your placenta has moved up beautifully. There’s no longer any risk of previa, so you’re cleared to resume a more normal routine. Just avoid heavy lifting or extreme exertion.”

You nodded, relieved but feeling a bittersweet tug at the news. This meant you’d have to return to work soon, back to the noise of the outside world and the inevitable questions from colleagues about the baby and Cillian. The thought of leaving the quiet, cozy bubble you’d built over the past few weeks filled you with a deep reluctance. You wanted to stay here, tucked into your little “family,” even if it was fleeting.

“Normal life, huh?” you said, half-smiling as you glanced at Cillian. He gave your hand a squeeze, understanding the mixed emotions you weren’t voicing.

“You’ll be fine,” he said softly, leaning closer so only you could hear.

You nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat as Dr. Nelly wiped the gel from your belly and began tidying up.

“Make sure you take breaks at work and don’t overdo it,” Dr. Nelly advised. “Otherwise, you’re on track for a healthy delivery. Keep up with your prenatal vitamins and come back in four weeks for the next checkup.”

You nodded as you sat up, grabbing a paper towel to wipe the gel from your belly.

“Now, go and do me a wee,” she said with a playful smile, shaking the little plastic cup. You laughed softly, taking it from her before heading toward the restroom.

Later, after meeting Cillian in the parking lot—him from work, you from home—you walked toward your respective cars, hand in hand. Your other hand held a granola bar, and you took a bite, crumbs scattering down your dress.

“You going back to work?” you asked between bites, glancing at him.

“Yeah, I’m working late tonight,” he replied, squeezing your hand as you reached your car. “Are you heading home?”

“No, I’ve gotta pick up Ash from the airport. She lands at 3,” you said, tossing the wrapper into a nearby bin.

“Do you want me to come with you?” he asked, stopping beside your car and turning to face you fully, his hands finding your waist.

“No, you’ve got work. I’ll be fine,” you assured him, wrapping your arms loosely behind his neck.

“You sure?” he asked, his voice low as he leaned closer.

“Yeah,” you murmured, pulling him into a kiss, soft and lingering. His lips were warm against yours, and you couldn’t help but nibble his lower lip, smiling when he groaned softly.

Pulling back slightly, his hands slid down to your bum, giving it a playful squeeze. “Stay at mine tonight?” you asked, biting your lip.

“Yeah,” he said, his voice husky. “I’ll be off late, though.”

“That’s okay. You’ve got your key, right?”

He nodded before capturing your lips again, this time with a bit more urgency. His big hands roamed over your hips and lower back, pulling you flush against him. His tongue swept into your mouth, and you melted into him, your fingers threading through the hair at the nape of his neck.

You broke the kiss abruptly with a squeaky “Mmm-muah,” laughing as you pulled away, suddenly hyper-aware of the fact that you were in the middle of a parking lot.

Cillian, however, didn’t release you. “Come on, I’m gonna be late,” you scolded lightly, glancing at your watch. “It’s 2:30!”

“And you’re worth every second,” he quipped, leaning in to steal another peck.

Laughing, you pushed gently against his chest. “Go! You’re the one who’s late, not me.”

“Fine, fine,” he relented with a grin, letting you go but only after one more lingering kiss. He stepped back, his eyes soft as they lingered on you. “Drive safe, okay? And text me when you get to Ash’s.”

“I will,” you promised, unlocking your car. “And don’t work too late.”

He chuckled. “No promises.”

With a final wave, you both climbed into your cars, and as you started yours, you caught his gaze one more time through the windshield. He mouthed, I love you, and your heart fluttered. You mouthed it back before pulling out of the lot, already counting the hours until you’d see him again.

***************************************

Standing at the airport next to the arrivals gate, you shifted nervously, a smile tugging at your lips as you scanned the crowd. Your eyes flitted from face to face, searching for her. Then you spotted her—struggling with a pram and dragging her luggage behind her. Without a second thought, you rushed forward to help.

Her mouth dropped open in a silent wow as she caught sight of you, her gaze locking onto your belly. The changes in your body since she’d last seen you were impossible to miss, and her expression was a mix of surprise and joy.

“Hello, you!” she squealed, abandoning her luggage to throw her arms around you. Tears pricked your eyes as you held her tight, years of separation and longing melting away in the warmth of her embrace. God knew how much you needed her right now.

“You’re so big!” she exclaimed when you finally pulled back, brushing her damp cheeks with her sleeve.

“Ugh, don’t even mention it—I look like Dad,” you laughed, your voice thick with emotion.

She chuckled, her eyes crinkling at the corners. “Dad wishes he looked this radiant,” she teased, giving you a playful nudge. She couldn’t help but admire how effortlessly put-together you looked, even now. Always stylish, you were rocking a long-sleeved bodycon dress and low-heeled boots—a true testament to your work in fashion.

“And who’s this handsome boy?” you cooed, your attention shifting to the baby in the pram. Dropping to your knees, you reached for him, tears welling again as you scooped him into your arms. Your hands trembled slightly as you held him close, overwhelmed by love for this little stranger who already felt like family.

The chubby baby whined softly at first, his big, curious eyes blinking up at you as though studying your face. You smiled, brushing your nose against his soft cheek. “Hi, baby,” you murmured, voice gentle. “Hi, Liam.”

Standing up with Liam nestled in your arms, you turned to your sister, your heart full. “I can’t believe you’re actually here,” you said, blinking back more tears. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“I missed you too,” she replied, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear with a tender smile. Her hand rested on your belly, her expression softening even more. “And look at you—you’re glowing. Are you halfway already?”

“A bit past,” you nodded, placing your hand over hers.

“Come on, let’s go,” you said with a grin. “I’m starving!”

Tags:

@mamawiggers1980 @xsweetcatastrophe @galactict3a @thistheivyseason @cillianmurphyvevo @sweetcheesecakesblog @cillianmurphyfanatic

[themoonweaversden]

Messeges that were found so far: STOD EHT TCENNOC (spoilers)

This is just to collect all the codes that you can type in in thisisnotawebsitedotcom.com and their effects only (please click images for better quality)

I am so sorry if the transcripts in these are't the best, it's A LOT and my mind doesn't understand what's writing anymore

Masterpost with all messeges / codes

Transcript:

"LESSER KNOWN AMERICAN CULTS

Have you ever heard of Orchard Lake, Kansas? Chances are you haven’t. It was erased from every map, book, and historical record, and the US Government’s official position on it is “stop calling us or we’ll send a drone to your house.” (I learned this the hard way.) But if you drive to the exact latitude and longitude of [REDACTED] you’ll see bullet casings, faded billboards, and bow ties strewn across the desert sands.

That’s because Orchard Lake had another name before it was wiped off the record: BillVille.

CHAPTER 3: BillVille The First Cult In History That Was Right

[image]

FIG A: A tumbillweed

As a historian of esoteric religions, I thought I’d discovered the strangest sects America had yet to offer (see “Chapter 3: Kevin’s Gate”) but that all changed when I found the following items tucked away in an old trunk in an estate sale on the outskirts of Bootstrap, Missouri."

Transcript:

"LESSER KNOWN AMERICAN CULTS

"3/24/1957

Mother, I have the most wonderful news! Remember when you said I should stop being “such a follower” and finally think for myself? Well—turns out you were right! I’ve decided to stop following Elvis’ tour bus from state to state and instead I’ve made the exciting life decision to sell all my possessions to buy a one-way ticket to [REDACTED] and marry 138 of my new best friends! We’ve discovered the eternal secrets of the Universe, and golly it feels keen! For the first time in my life, I am happy!

Remember reality is an illusion, the Universe is a hologram, buy gold, and bye forever!

Your daughter, Shelter Martha Jones Starshine Cipherwife

P.S. You’ve just gotta check out this neato pamphlet!"

FIG B: Letter and pamphlet advertising “Ciphertology.” Was found along with pins, buttons, ephemera. Smells like formaldehyde."

Transcript:

"LESSER KNOWN AMERICAN CULTS

After reading this pamphlet, I became obsessed. Who were the Ciphertologists?

It seems in 1952 a failed travelling snake oil salesman “Silas Birchtree” was hiding from creditors when he choked on a coin he was flipping and died. Then, remarkably, the next day, he was seen alive. His posture, his smile, the pallor of his skin had all changed. It was as if another man entirely was wearing Silas like a suit. Whatever caused this transformation, the new Silas hit Orchard Lake, Kansas like a comet.

[TRANSCRIPT, FIRST AUDIO RECORDING FOUND OF SILAS BIRCHTREE GIVING A SPEECH IN THE TOWN SQUARE OF ORCHARD LAKE, KANSAS]

“Say, folks, gather round, thank you ma’am, spit out that gum, junior. My names Silas Birchtree, and I was just passing through when I noticed a very pressing problem: This town only has three wells! Well, well, well, that won’t hold water! (townsfolk laugh) But seriously plasma bags, if you’re dim enough to laugh at that tripe then you’re going to love what I’m about to shove down your throats: The secrets of the universe! I may look like an meat automoton but I was recently granted otherworldly insight into the nature of reality by an all-seeing eye named Bill Cipher. You have primal needs for chaos that are being repressed! Destroying is a form of creating! Assert your will in defiance of entropy! Punch through the throats of your oppressors and baptize yourself in their blood! Doesn’t that sound swell? Yes I said swell, and that rhymes with L, and that stands for “Let me Marry All Your Wives!”

-Silas Birchtree, 1952

It didn’t seem to matter what Silas said, folks were mesmerized by his rambling stream of consciousness diatribes. It wasn’t long before he became local news."

Treanscript:

"THE ORCHARD LAKE CORNHUSK "A suitable distraction from your toils." June 18, 1952 | 5 CENTS

CULT COMES TO TOWN Fans of Cults Pleased, Cult Skeptics Skeptical

Two things are on the rise this week in Orchard Lake! The sweet, sweet corn-bread cooling in Mrs. Butternubbins windowsill, and the terrifying cult that threatens to tear our town asunder. And asunder is one of the worst things you can be torn! Springing forth seemingly overnight, these bow-tie wearing brainwashees call themselves the Ciphertologists, and they answer to one man, the charismatic and extremely jaundiced Silas BirchTree. Town sentiment is divided as to whether this new religion can be trusted, but all agree this seems to be the most significant event in our town since a bat fell in the deep fryer at the waffle house. We spoke to townsfolk to gauge the local sentiment.

...WHAT THE PEOPLE SAY...

Darla Laudanum, Housewife: "Well, I don’t see what the big fuss is! Everyone’s entitled to their opinions, and Silas is no different. Why, I remember when everyone was worried that “Hula Hoops” were going to turn our children into Communists. But we only had to report 3 children!"

Gus Gunderson, Painter: "I ‘spose he’s got a funny way of talkin’, shore ‘nuff, but he promised me I’d live forever on my own moon, which beats my current job at the paint store. He also said he’d teach me to explode people with my mind. My mother ‘n law had better watch out!"

Madeline Dixon, Teenager: "He’s fine, I guess. It’s not like I replaced the picture of James Dean in my locket with him or anything. What? No you can’t look inside the locket, this is a personal locket!"

Emmaline Butternubbins, Spoilsport: "I’m telling you! He’s a human corpse puppeteered by a space triangle and he’s come to build an unholy astral pyramid from mortal realm beyond mortal understanding! Gather up your swords and arrows, let us slay the beast in mans form before he slays us!"

Can You "Dig It?" Hey Daddio! Are you hoppin mad about the piles of youth that are buckling your Chevy’s pad to the winner? Dig this jive! A keen new shovel that all the hep cats are using to flip those big Ricks right out of the sock hop! Man, you know what it is called!

“HIPPADDY RENZADDY’S SUPER-KEENHOOT SCOOP!”

It’s me, “Hip Daddy” Renzaddy! 50 years ago my great grandpappy Renzaddy toppled a pile of stones to death to avenge his death! The eternal war on man’s sin rages on!

5 CENTS OFF!

Teen Accused of "Rocking Around the Clock," Faces Trial ... (PG 3) Joseph McCarthy Arrests Suspicious Pez Dispenser (PG 5)"

Trascript:

"PAGE 2 THE ORCHARD LAKE CORNHUSK, JUNE 18, 1952 INTERVIEW WITH A PROPHET

Our lead reporter Welton Danforth sat down with the enigmatic leader to gain some insight into his holy mission. When they sat down to speak, the controversial religious leader was staring at his hands laughing as he wiggled his fingers.

Silas: Fingers! Wow, there’s just so many of these things! How do you keep track? Hey could someone get me a swig of formaldehyde?

Welton: Good evening. I have never seen a man open his eyes as wide as yours before. What exactly is going on with your face?

Silas: My face is normal! Next question!

Welton: (laughing) Well there’s that charm I’ve heard so much about. Move over, Johnny Carson! Tell me, how do you respond to accusations that the Ciphertologists are a cult?

Silas: Yes!

Welton: So you don’t deny it?

Silas: Look slick, everyone believes in something they can’t prove. Football players believe in “points.” Cops believe in “laws.” Priests believe in “sin.” But show me a law, a point, a sin. You can’t, they’re just ideas. So if you’re going to follow something invisible, why not follow the invisible Triangle that will give you your own planet and crush your enemies into a small screaming cube.

Welton: You’re awfully quick with a turn of phrase, but many others with silver tongues have claimed to be the messiah. What makes you any different?

Silas: Fair point! You know, you’re very perceptive. Has your wife told you that lately?

Welton: (pause) No. No��� Janet has not. We are… going through a rough patch.

Silas: Must be hard. All those long nights on the couch, wondering what went wrong.

Welton: Yes… but, how did you know all that?

Silas: I know lots of things, Jack! And I know that when you die at 72 from a goose crashing into your head on a roller coaster, your last thought is gonna be that you wasted your life interviewing hick farmers instead of becoming that great novelist you always dreamed of being! That unfinished novel in your desk drawer…

Welton: …The Reporter Who Went To Mars?

Silas: It could be the greatest book of all time. But you’ll need someone to help you reach your full potential. I think I know a guy! By the way, I’ll need 1,000 dollars immediately.

Welton: Can I give you my watch as a down payment?

Silas: Fine, but only because I like you. Anyway, where were we? Oh right! I was interviewing you. Tell me, how long have you been a Ciphertologist?

Welton: Well, I suppose as of 5 seconds ago, but it already feels like much longer, Mr. Birchtree.

Silas: Please, call me “My Lord And Master.”

Welton: Yes, My Lord and Master. Do you have anything else to add before you go?

Silas: Only this, and I mean it sincerely: HAHAHA-HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA (cont’d)"

Transcript:

"LESSER KNOWN AMERICAN CULTS

[2 images]

Within a month, The Ciphertologists had taken City Hall, renamed Orchard Lake "BillVille" and began stockpiling weapons, human teeth, and multi-colored ball-pit balls from burger restaurants. Townsfolk began shaving their heads and inhaling helium to match the pitch of their leader's shrill charismatic voice, and would participate in "Dream-Ins" inviting Silas's muse "Bill Cipher" to "possess" of up to 30 of them at once, at which point they would often laugh in unison for hours. Construction began of the "Very Normal Giant Metal Portal" in the desert. Travel was banned coming in and out, even for medical emergencies since, as Silas explained, "pain is hilarious!" They began to expand, knocking on doors to spread "The Bad News."

[image]

FIG C: It was pretty easy to spot a Ciphertologist. Can you see what makes them stand out? That's right - their enthusiastic smiles!

[image]

FIG D: The "Golden Bastard" apple, grown only by Ciphertologists, reportedly "screamed" when you ate it."

Transcript: (this one is really weird to trascribe, so sorry if it's difficult to understand)

"THERE’S ONE “EYE” IN TEAM! Can you find it?

In Ciphertology, we encourage you to express your individuality, just like Silas does! That means strict conformity to his exact wardrobe, or else being sent to “The Hole.” You won’t like the hole!

KEEP AN EYE OPEN!

SHAVE A SPOT FOR BILL TO ENTER!

POSTURE

TUCK YOUR SHIRT IN! Order is a Trojan horse for chaos!

GREASE YOUR SHOES! Are you done? ADD MORE GREASE! And MORE!

(Image of two people in matching outfits doing Ciphertologist poses)

Pocket full of yummy glass!

Not pictured - The hot brand we will sear into your flesh. Which part of your body will we brand? It’s weirder than you think!

Did you know?: Therapy is a scam to keep you from the truth. Lean into your natural born mental illness to unlock your true potential!

GO DOOR TO DOOR! SPREAD THE JOY LIKE A DISEASE!

Follow this script to convert the non-billievers!

Hi! Do you have one minute to talk about the triangle who lives in your brain and has seen you naked? . YES → GOOD! The old gods are dead, and BILL ATE THEM! Dig it? . NO → Stare at them until they start crying.

Are you ready to accept him into your mind? . YES → (Continue script) . NO → Eat one of your own fingers in front of them. Don’t break eye contact.

Raise your arms and shriek a perfect E note in the 8th octave at 5,243 Hz. Their skull will shatter. Like a wine glass!

Great! Your new name is: ________________(SEE GUIDE TO CHOOSING CIPHERTOLOGY NAME PG 6) What size robe are you? __________________SEE YOU AT THE WAFFLE HOUSE! (Do Cipher Handshake, devour pamphlet, crawl away upside down)

WEIRDMEGEDDON IS COMING. WEIRDMEGEDDON IS COMING. WEIRDMEGEDDON IS COMING.

CIPHERTOLIGIST'S GUIDE TO DELIGHTSOMENESS, 1952"

Transcript:

"LESSER KNOWN AMERICAN CULTS

[image]

ABOVE: The Ciphertology “Brain Seismograph” or “BS” Meter had dials for “gullibility,” “financial liquidity,” “celebrity influence,” “herbs,” and “spices.”

The cult surged in popularity and influence. Silas’s motto “embrace today as if your town is going to be hit by a tornado in exactly 3 & a half years!” was infectious, and he immediately ended all crime by declaring that “everything is legal now!”

[image]

Soon the only unconverted local was unmarried town nag Emmaline Butternubbins. She was convinced there was something “not right” about the mysterious megalomaniacal cult leader. Her protests escalated to her distributing these home-made warning pamphlets to very annoyed children.

[image]

“Most people rejected Emmaline’s message. They hated her because she told the truth” —Emmaline, to her cat Bonbon."

Transcript:

"LESSER KNOWN AMERICAN CULTS

Conflict became inevitable. When Silas hijacked a local TV station to read an “erotic tale of two trapezoids,” Elk Glen filed a complaint with the FCC. Cipherologists retaliated by pouring 600 gallons of bubble solution in their drinking water. Soon the law became involved.

“Blrbl bll Tbllbl Ciphertobblblblblb” - Hurk Durnsley, Oak Glen City Council

The Cipherologists were ordered to return City Hall, dismantle the “Portal” they were building out of scrap metal and car parts, or face the full force of the Kansas State Troopers. The standoff lasted 13 days, with Silas and his die hard followers holed up in a waffle house chanting “TEETH” over and over again for reasons unknown. Silas was becoming increasingly agitated and erratic, blocking all radio and TV signals into town and ordering his followers to hurry construction of his mysterious metallic project. His body was also looking increasingly pale and desiccated, which he ascribed to his “fantastic diet” of eating nothing but “solid chunks of chlorine and ants.”

BILLVILLE DAILY NEWS June Billeteeth, Billtee-Fifty-Bill PORTAL NEARLY COMPLETE EVERYONE THRILLED, EVEN THE GOVERNMENT! (DO NOT TURN ON YOUR TELEVISION)"

Transcript:

"Finally Emmaline Butternubbins, enraged that no one liked her pamphlets, hurled a torch into the CipherTologists HQ, igniting the helium tanks, blasting out the windows and destroying Silas’s machine. Troopers opened fire as Silas’s followers held hands and began singing “WE’LL MEET AGAIN” in defiance. Silas, riddled with bullet holes, grabbed a megaphone, leapt atop the inferno, grinning wildly as he was engulfed in flame.

“YOU CAN’T KILL A MAN WHO’S ALREADY DEAD! IF YOU TAKE ME DOWN, I’LL BE BACK, MORE POWERFUL AND MORE ANNOYING THAN YOU CAN POSSIBLY IMAGINE! REMMEBER- REALITY-”

At this point, Silas Birch Tree’s head fell off, flies swarmed from his mouth and he collapsed into a grey husk. A coroner declared Silas BirchTree dead for a second time. Black helicopters evacuated the site and the city was erased from all official records. Mrs Butternubbins was awarded the Medal of Honor, which she used as an ashtray.

On the Lighter Side “QUIRKY NEWS!” CULT DISBANDED, 9 DEAD Slow news day? Well we gotta fill these pages somehow! In an oddball story that’s definitely out there a remote Orchard Lake’s homespun cult committed a laundry list of heinous crimes. Trashed walls, buildings, and tank-wielding federal agents stormed the “Cipherologists” headquarters. The panic escalated as the “Cipherologists” leader offered everyone a bag of candy and destroyed the stockade on a rented lemon- but just gave everyone you love from the ability to express their emotions. We are out of terrible diarrhea. It is unclear if this was his intention or not. We are out of things to say in this piece, no one really cares what happens in Kansas."

Transcript:

"ONLY KNOWN PHOTO OF SILAS'S BODY, 1952"

Transcript: "LESSER KNOWN AMERICAN CULTS

Although BillVille has faded into urban legend, hidden remnants remain for those who know where to look. It is even said that there are straggling members out there, still holding out hope for Silas’s return.

(RIGHT: IRONIC T-SHIRT SOLD ONLINE)

In cults, this is a common phenomenon. Human beings are so hungry for a confident voice to guide them in an uncertain world, that they’ll follow anyone, even a madman, wherever he goes. Usually off a cliff.

But there was something different about Silas Birchtree. The more I research, the more of his predictions I’ve seen coming true. Recently I was going through old records when I found Silas’s final words, tucked away in a lost letter he wrote before the standoff, a message unseen until now.

His message was:

“At least this will make a fun chapter of your book, Donna!”

My name is Donna Rutherford. Yesterday, I was a Lutheran. As of today, I am a Ciphertologist.

[CODE]"

Code decoded: "YOUCANTKILLANIDEA"

[thebroccolination]

The J&A group NEWS is one of the most lore-packed music groups I’ve ever followed and I wish I had the energy to make an entire video essay about them. They started with nine members in 2003 and immediately lost a member before they formally debuted. He later became the fucking front man of ONE OK ROCK (yes, Taka, formerly known as Mori while he was with NEWS for those precious six minutes). Then they lost two more members shortly afterward when one got busted for underage drinking and kicking a cop car, and the other one for underage smoking. Then the group was suspended because what the fuck y’all get it together. A few years later, after their comeback as six, the two most popular members quit at the same time essentially because they’d never actually wanted to be there in the first place. One of the two had actually been debuted in TWO GROUPS because J&A was quirky like that, and because he’d always had an obvious preference for the other one, no one was too upset with him. That left the remaining FOUR in a bizarre limbo because while two of them could sing, the other two were basically The Other Two (don’t get mad I was half-seriously parasocially in love with one of them so I can say it) and a ton of the higher-ups at J&A thought of them as “a strawberry shortcake without the strawberries”—A THING ONE OF THEM OVERHEARD SOMEONE SAY ABOUT THEM. So they pulled off a comeback as four, which was actually sort of perfect because NEWS has four letters, so it introduced a fun new design scheme. Three kept their original member colors, but the oldest took over the Leader position and changed from orange to purple, which was sweet in its own way because he didn’t want to take away red, the color of their original Leader (the popular one who basically left to focus on a solo career and acting). The four of them go strong for several years, putting out some of the best music in J&A, and putting on some of the best concerts I’ve ever been to, and the general reception is, “They were good before but this configuration fits better—and they all want to be here!” There’s also some fun stuff in there, like how one of The Other Two feels the sting of being half of The Other Two so he runs with the smart thing he has going for him and writes a novel, and a LOT of people are like, “Hey, it kind of seems like the douchebag character in your book resembles your former Leader,” and he’s like, “nOOOOOO definitely a coincidence ha ha ha.” (Yes he’s the one I was sort-of committed to spiritually but it wasn’t a big deal I’m over it ha ha ha.) THEN, the wildest shit ever happens: in spite of their very serious pact as four to stay together and spare each other the continued trauma of shedding members, their best vocalist decides, “I’m bored I’m gonna go,” and skips off without remorse. He’s probably a controversial figure in some circles but the way I see it, if you followed NEWS for more than ten minutes you knew this dude had no loyalties stronger than his loyalty to himself and expecting anything else from him was a fool’s errand. Basically, he was always gonna dip, it was just a matter of when. He also wrote a gossipy tell-all book that made casualties of the former members in such a bitchy fashion he’s honestly iconic for airing his pettiness after years of pretending he forgave them for the group’s image. Like remember the member who left because he was in two groups and I said no one really held it against him? Our gossiping queen basically called him a coward and said he never would’ve left if the Leader hadn’t left first, and we were all like, “I mean, yeah, we figured he left because the timing was convenient, but ooooooh.” And then I stopped following them because my favorite duo Tackey & Tsubasa disbanded and my heart wasn’t in following J&A groups anymore, but NEWS is still making music in 2024 and I’m genuinely really happy for the three left because they’ve gotta be tired but at least they have each other. /closing credits

[randomthefox]

I haven’t watched the Sonic Movies, I’ve taken your word on them being terrible. But I still wanted to look at another review for the third instalment to see the other side of the camp and it shocked me. I watched the game apologist talk about it and his video can be summed up with “the plot was terrible, but it was worth it to get to the fan service.” It feels like I’m living in a simulation. In what universe can you call the plot of a movie bad but then still herald it as peak fiction? A good movie requires every aspect of itself to work together to make something truly great. But then people will talk about how the non Sonic characters are terrible, but brush that criticism aside as if it’s like a coast of doing business. No! You can’t say that the plot is terrible and half the characters are terrible and then turn around and say it’s the best movie ever! It is not something you have to just accept. It means the movie is bad.

The people who love these movies are insistent that nostalgia is good for its own sake and that you’re wrong for saying otherwise to ruin people’s enjoyment. No! Fuck you! If you’re so brain dead that all it takes is to see some familiar images to get you to love something, you need to be belittled and insulted until you wake the fuck up out of whatever simulation you’ve been trapped in so you can consume media that’s actually good. I don’t love Sonic because of nostalgia. I’m a relatively recent Sonic fan. I love this series because it has good gameplay and tells actually entertaining stories.

Why is it that the games get shit on but the movies get next to no scrutiny from what I’ve seen? What is the psychological reason behind this behaviour from the masses that proves that the universe isn’t just pulling a prank on me? Is the reason just that people are just following the band wagon? The only reason people say the video games are bad is because it’s such a widely accepted opinion? But the movies are new, and because there’s no hate band wagon created by a bunch of idiots, people are calling it peak fiction for capturing a mere whiff of what made the original story great?

The Sonic Double Standard. That which is bad when other franchises do it, is celebrated when Sonic does it. And that which is praised when other franchises do it, is criticized when Sonic does it.

You can tell a lot about a piece of media based on how the people who like it talk about it. Case in point, I'm watching a seven hour video about how Sonic CD is the best game ever. And while I don't agree with every word of it, particular the words which are just "look at all these OTHER Sonic games which are BAD!" the way it's talking about Sonic CD is so thoughtful analytical and enthusiastic that it's giving me a better appreciation for the game than ever before. I decided to replay Sonic CD because of this video and I feel like I was able to enjoy it more this time than I have previous times playing it because of this video.

On the other hand, watching Lowarts videos about the Archie Sonic comics made me HATE those comics more deeply and feverishly than I had ever hated them before. Listening to the way this person WHO LIKES THE COMICS AND THINKS THEY'RE GOOD talk about them, the utterly anemic praise that he offered, the completely brainless and devoid of thought analysis of the text that bordered on sheer illiteracy. The dude was literally saying "Archie Sonic is best Sonic" while having NOTHING POSITIVE or SUBSTANTIVE to say about the comic whatsoever.

You gotta see past what they're saying and look at the code of the matrix basically. And the movies are the same way. Look at the way people who like it talk about it. They spend half their time making excuses for it, and the other half going "yeah well the video games suck anyway, so we should just be happy with what we get" when you really break it down. Their argument for why we should enjoy the movies is basically that we need to have absolutely no critical standards whatsoever. What a stunning endorsement.

Not to toot my own horn, but compare and contrast against the way I talked about Elise in Sonic 2006, or Sonic Lost World, or Sonic Forces, or the Sonic Adventure games. Or Dragon Quest. Or Yu-Gi-Oh. Or any of the other shit that I really like. I like to think I'm closer on the spectrum to Sparky's World than Game Apologist, if I do speak for myself anyway.

If a fruit is ripe and delicious, then hearing someone talk about how wonderful it is to eat it will make you salivate all the more. If a fruit is rotten and moldy, then hearing someone try to convince you that you should close your eyes plug your nose and just fucking swallow it will make you resent that inedible garbage even more than ever before.

[archerygun]

Guys I’m sorry. A single person asked me to elaborate. I’ve gotta elaborate now. I have permission from an internet stranger. Also, yes, I think I should be locked up and studied for science but exposing my insanity on the internet is the next best thing. @dye-it-rouge-et-noir this one is for you buddy.

This is a follow-up/part 2 post. If you’re seeing this post before part 1, part 1/the context is here = https://www.tumblr.com/archerygun/749484004313579520/alright-i-was-chatting-to-a-friend-about-james?source=share

(Splitting it up into sections because I want to try and contain myself from rambling nonstop for five straight minutes)

DESIGN EXPLANATION/BREAKDOWN

Sean Connery - A friend of mine did most of the design, I added the bottom half, the gun, the colours and a couple of motifs. I chose Thunderball as the film of focus because my friend mentioned his swimsuit was traumatising, and also because it’s the film with the jetpack in it. Generally focused on circular shapes and tear shapes because y’know… water. He’s orange because of the orange swimsuit that my friend called out lmao. And the flower on the neck bow is supposed to look like the one from the iconic white dinner suit that I tend to default to drawing Sean Connery Bond in because when he isn’t in dinner suits his dress sense is generally not as fun as I would like. The gun is based on the one from the James Bond image. You know the one.

I put simultaneously not enough thought and too much thought into this Jesus Christ. I think he’d have some sort of jetpack power-up or something. George Lazenby - He only did one film, so that did limit sources of inspiration. Fortunately, OHMSS is my favourite Bond film because everything about it is earnest and completely insane. I had to include his bowler hat from the intro because it was amazing and not enough Bonds wear hats, so he’d at least look distinctive. It’s set in an icy location for most of it, so that’s where most of the theming came from, the colour, etc; the diamond motif might have suited Sean Connery better all things considered but too late now. I took some costuming inspiration from his kilt outfit because it was strange and iconic and I think all Bonds should be made to wear it. He only really has one promo shot with a gun so I had to give the position of tiny gun guy to George Lazenby. He wields it well.

Roger Moore - I kinda just took the fact that he was the first Bond in space and ran with it. Used stars as a motif, etc. Particular inspiration was taken from this outfit:

And partial inspiration from his weird marine navy commander-style getup (for the shawl thing). It was legitimately way too hard to find a gun that wouldn’t accidentally cross over with a gun from another Bond so I picked the most Seventies gun I could possibly find for inspiration assuming that no other Bonds would ever use something similar. The upper body pose as usual is directly from the reference image. I felt like if I put all the Bonds in skirts, it’d get a bit repetitive and start looking bad, so I figured if any Bond was going to get trousers it would have to be the one that actually wore flares.

CHARACTER EXPLANATION/BREAKDOWN

Basically just how I’d pitch the three Bonds I’ve done so far if they were a group dynamic instead of solo iterations. Gonna do it in bullet points so it’s more comprehensible. (I don’t have any rhyme, reason or lore for this. It’s literally just me assigning three Bonds distinct personalities).

Sean Connery:

The group leader/group elder/tired old man

He can still be a slut if that’s what you want but minus the creepiness. Mutual engagement in passive flings? No problems with that.

Seen so much shit that he’s sorta nonchalant about everything and believes he’s overqualified for just about anything he’s asked to do.

✨War trauma✨

Suaveness and charm level 100. He’s a crabby old man most of the time but he’s so charming that the group let him get away with it.

He’s desensitised to like, literally everything. He will not hesitate to kill a man in cold blood if the situation demands it.

Pretty much believes that human beings are fundamentally bad, himself included.

Ultimately the one that’s willing to make the hard calls.

George Lazenby:

Like his actor before him he is the least qualified and probably lied to get into the secret service.

Optimistic, perceived as naive, ready to try and fight the narrative to change his fate.

The group child (and the youngest).

Quit the secret service after his new wife was assassinated on their wedding day and only comes back because shit has hit the fan (plot reasons. I don’t have a plot, I’m just speaking as if I’m pitching a TV show).

Doomed By The Narrative™️

Ridiculed or forgotten by everyone except the other Bonds

Sean Connery’s Bond respects him a great deal and secretly envies his more idealistic worldview, but won’t let him make the tough calls because he sees him as too naive and too unstable (willing to risk everything)

Roger Moore’s Bond HAS adopted him.

Roger Moore:

Literally feral

Master of British understatement (“Oh. That’s a bit of a shame.” as the world is literally ending around him)

He’s besties with Sean Connery’s Bond as the other sort of group elder

Despite how manic and wired he appears, he is terrifyingly competent and capable of being very serious

Team leader when Connery’s Bond is out of action

Dad figure. Not just to the other Bonds, but as a default personality. He will go parent mode on anyone he thinks he’s capable of saving.

Although if he doesn’t think you’re saveable he will not hesitate to shoot on sight if he runs out of options.

As far as ideas for the other three, Timothy Dalton is going to look evil and edgy but he’s just an enthusiastic dork and Daniel Craig is a stone cold killer with trust issues draped in bright pink bows. I haven’t seen any Pierce Brosnan movies so far so I might just have to vibe check him based on plot synopsis.

Closing thoughts? I want my brain removed and replaced with a better one. I’m sorry for everything you have witnessed today.

Also, these are based exclusively on the movies and not the books. I’m more digging into what makes each actor and era special and distinct.

If you sat through all that, well done, thank you, please don’t report me to the asylum and enjoy this image of Sean Connery.

[sshbpodcast]

Character Spotlight: Spock

By Ames

Last week we highlighted (and lowlighted) James T. Kirk here in our new blog collection, going character by character where no one has gone before. It’s going to be a bit of a trek in and of itself, so join us here on A Star the Steer Her By to learn what we think of all your Starfleet favorites: when are they at their most naughty and most nice. This week, we’re moving on to the best first officer in the fleet and one of our favorite Vulcans, the ever logical Mister Spock!

For the franchise’s first major alien character, he succeeded in teaching humanity to audiences throughout his far-reaching tenure, and that wasn’t always his human half! Credit to Leonard Nimoy for giving us such a well-rounded character even though he couldn’t display emotions in the same fashion as the others (but boy did he find a way!). Follow along below for our thoughts on Spock’s best and worst scenes, and listen to some bonus chatter over on this week’s podcast episode (discussion at 1:05:00). Fascinating.

[Images © CBS/Paramount

Best Moments

Checkmate, Finney It’s been a minute since I released my blogpost about how bad I am at 3D chess (and all chess for that matter), but Spock’s so great at it that he uses his logic and big Vulcan brain to figure out the chess program is busted in “Court Martial” and save the day, which might be the Spockiest thing I’ve ever heard.

Pain! Pain! Spock mind melds a lot of critters throughout the shows and movies, but one of our favorites is when he connects with the Horta in “The Devil in the Dark.” Like in our Kirk spotlight when the captain defended the old girl, we’ve gotta credit Spock with communicating with her and treating her like a sentient being. And Nimoy’s acting in this scene! Mwah!

A man of integrity in both universes The Spock in “Mirror, Mirror” isn’t exactly our normal Spock, as his circumstances in the mirror universe have made him a different person in a lot of ways (mostly in the facial hair region). But in even more ways, he’s just like our Spock: someone who sees the illogical nature of the Terran Empire and who will take steps to make it better.

I love you but I hate you I don’t know why, but I’m just thoroughly tickled when Spock outwits the androids in “I, Mudd” with a logical paradox that breaks their computer brains. Sure, he tries a neck pinch first (he is Spock, after all!), but it’s telling the Alice robots, identical in every way, that he loves one but hates the other that causes them to malfunction all over the place.

Trademark Vulcan sass If Vulcans are allowed to express one emotion throughout all of Star Trek, it’s sass, and Leonard Nimoy can deadpan with the best of straightmen. In “The Trouble with Tribbles,” McCoy remarks that tribbles are “nice, they're soft, they're furry, and they make a pleasant sound,” to which Spock quips, “So would an ermine violin, Doctor, yet I see no advantage to having one.” Grade-A Vulcan sass right there.

Gladiatorial mind games “Bread and Circuses” may not be a good episode, but it gets the Spock-McCoy dynamic right. Not only does Spock save McCoy in battle, but that scene in the prison cell… I could write essays about that scene as they’re both so vulnerable and desperate to connect, but Spock, ever the Vulcan, represses that emotion… just barely. And when Spock tells McCoy that they share concern over Kirk’s safety without actually telling him, it’s perfect.

Vulcans are incapable of lying, he lied While we found Kirk’s behavior in “The Enterprise Incident” utterly baffling, Spock’s is thoroughly intriguing. He spends most of the episode seamlessly deceiving the Romulan Commander who’s thirsting after him so hard, and she plays right into his Vulcan-saluting hands because she didn’t anticipate so many loopholes allowing Vulcans to be duplicitous!

The wonders of the universe Am I mostly bringing up Spock mind melding a giant cloud in “One of Our Planets Is Missing” so that I can bring up my TOS fanfiction “Sentient Life”? A little bit.

I have been and always shall be your friend This list would not be complete without the beautiful sacrifice scene in The Wrath of Khan. The needs of the many do indeed outweigh the needs of the few in this perfectly poignant and amazingly acted character death. I can’t think of a better main character death in all of Star Trek and Nimoy crushed it.

Rock out with your Spock out We’ve also got to give credit to Leonard Nimoy for the Vulcan neck pinch, a nonviolent, nonfatal deescalation tactic that is perfectly in character. It is a great inclusion for such a logical people to manage violent conflict in a mostly harmless way, and one of our favorites is neck pinching the punk on the bus since it’s also one of many great comedic moments in The Voyage Home.

They are not the hell your whales Speaking of The Voyage Home, we’ve got more good Spock moments to choose from in that movie! It is such a smorgasbord of quippy, fun moments for our resident Vulcan because so much of the movie is that fish-out-of-water kind of humor, but everything Spock has to do with the whales, George and Gracie, is especially excellent.

Cowboy diplomacy We even get to see a little Spock action in The Next Generation when his plan to reunite Vulcan and Romulus gets revealed in “Unification.” It is such a noble goal from our logical friend (perhaps spurred by his encounter with the Romulan Commander in “The Enterprise Incident”? Nudge nudge!) and we loved seeing his resolve and commitment to helping his square-shouldered cousins.

—

Worst Moments

Beep twice for “NO!” I get that the studio wanted to save time and money by using the footage from “The Cage” in “The Menagerie,” but they had Spock acting fully out of character to make it happen. He kidnaps his disabled old captain against his will, he conspires to steal the ship, he puts the lives of everyone on the Enterprise in danger, he nearly gets Kirk killed in a shuttle, he creates an illusion of a flag officer! It’s a full-on mutiny that sees no consequences!

Life-or-death decisions, but mostly death “Strange. Step by step, I've made the correct and logical decisions – and yet two men have died,” says Spock in “The Galileo Seven.” Somehow, every time we see Spock in charge, everyone has a really bad day. The show would make you believe it’s because Vulcans only act on logic with no emotion or intuition, but they really need to stop leaving the ship in his hands!

Not even a grandfather paradox – just a father paradox Temporal shenanigans abound in “Tomorrow is Yesterday” when the Enterprise is forced to beam up Captain Christopher. Spock assures everyone that the displaced pilot will have no bearing on history, until he is forced to eat those words because this science officer neglected to check if Christopher’s son would be influential. Since when is Spock so careless?

A need-to-know basis We joked throughout The Original Series that Vulcans seemed to attain a new superpower each week. And since Spock just doesn’t seem to tell people things they need to know until they really need to know it, we don’t learn about his inner eyelids until “Operation: Annihilate!”, his parents being onboard until “Journey to Babel,” or his having a half brother until Star Trek V!

This has pon farr enough I’m frankly sick of everything about pon farr, and am dreading revisiting it in Enterprise. It’s yet another one of those Vulcan aspects they won’t tell you about until too late, and in “Amok Time,” it’s way too late. The whole biological circumstance is weird enough, but if Vulcans has told us any of their rituals ahead of time, Spock wouldn’t have had to kill his best friend in the kal-if-fee like a chump.

Heil Spock While it’s mostly a gag on the podcast that Spock loves Nazis, there’s definitely a reason why we think that. In “Patterns of Force,” Spock agrees with Gill when he calls Nazi Germany the most efficient state Earth ever knew, saying: “Quite true, Captain. That tiny country, beaten, bankrupt, defeated, rose in a few years to stand only one step away from global domination.” Does that make Spock a Nazi? Not entirely, but it would explain some things, like how quick to wanting to kill Mitchell he was in “Where No Man Has Gone Before.”

What a tangled web he weaves Like in “The Galileo Seven,” Spock ends up in command again when Kirk is presumed dead in “The Tholian Web,” and he borks it. The whole episode is about him and McCoy snipping at each other because of the effects of the area of space, but they’re both extremely out of character even without it, with Spock ignoring Doc’s warning about getting stuck in the web, making awful decisions, and generally being terrible at leading a crew.

If only I could forget We found it weirdly nonconsensual when Spock decides to make Kirk forget about his romance with Rayna (and who knows what else?) in “Requiem for Methuselah.” McCoy jabs at Spock that he’ll never understand, and then Spock seems to act just naively when he takes Kirk’s memory in his sleep, as if Spock were taking him literally when Kirk said he’d rather forget.

Behind every good woman… is Spock taking credit We’ll surely bring up “The Lorelei Signal” when we talk about Uhura’s best moments because it’s a rare moment for the women to get the spotlight, but there’s a moment in this episode in which, despite the lady crewmembers having already figured out the ploy themselves, they’ve hatched their plan “in accordance with Mister Spock’s request” and I vomit in my mouth a little.

You have not achieved kolinahr It’s pretty clear that the production team didn’t know they’d have Leonard Nimoy back for The Motion Picture until late in the writing process because his motivation is spotty at best. Since he has not achieved kolinahr, he rather makes his presence in the movie about himself, and to make matters worse, he yeets off to mind meld with V’ger without telling anyone!

I hear he's nutty as a fruitcake As beautiful as the death scene in The Wrath of Khan is, it’s also pretty messed up for Spock to cram his katra into McCoy with no warning and with dire effects. Think about it: none of the humans knew before The Search for Spock that katras were even a thing, and Bones could have gone insane just for the sake of bringing the character back to life, negating that great sacrifice!

They flung their wooden shoes called sabots into the machines We love a good mind meld on Star Trek, but Spock just plain crosses a line in The Undiscovered Country when he mind rapes Valeris to expose her as the saboteur. Considering the mind meld was first created in order to give Spock an alternative to violent action to combat assailants, using it in a way that’s so violating is the most uncomfortable moment we could think of.

—

Keep your medical tricorders scanning here as we continue along through all the main characters from The Original Series! Next week, we’re scanning for Dr. Bones McCoy here on the blog, as well as continuing our watchthrough of Enterprise over on the podcast. You can also send a message over subspace on Facebook and Twitter, and keep your damn katra to yourself. Live long and prosper!

[freebooter4ever]

So you guys know i (try to) post daily doodles, and i have said before that i draw for about 2-3 hrs every night. BUT that also means i dont post about like 80-90% of the drawings i do each night. Today though, i've been thinking about A*I and my own relationship with drawing, and how utterly baffled i am that anyone would want to use it to like...draw for them..and how the concept that *tell a computer what art to do so i dont have to do it* is alien to me. So here's ALL the drawings i did tonight. The bottom one is the last one i did and the one i would normally post. And i want to talk about A*I without talking about good or bad end product. Because i dont care if im making the shittiest art in the universe - i still wouldn't use A*I. Not even as a ‘tool’.

If you've been around here for a while you know i have a love/hate relationship with my art. I write too, but writing doesnt make me so frustrated and angry that i want to throw my computer out a second story window. HOWEVER. There is a huge caveat to that anger.

It happens after.

You could look at it a little like hockey. Every game is fresh, right? I mean god knows the US made an entire movie about how every game is a new game and the odds could always fall in your favor no matter how stacked against you. So every drawing i go into it excited - like LOOK at that reference material, its gorgeous. The gesture is beautiful, the post is interesting, there is something about it that is just begging to be drawn. But then say you hit intermission in the hockey game and the opposing team scored a few points. And i step back and look at the drawing and realize i started to go wrong somewhere along the way. But its too late now, you gotta commit and keep going. And you do but somehow the final score is STILL 6 to 0 and thats when i want to flush all my art down the toilet and never look at it again. But its okay because the next drawing is going to start with a blank canvas and who cares what happened last time.

Ok maybe a bad example.

The product is never really what drives me to draw - i mean, sure i do like it a heck of a lot better when i have something /anything/ that i can post to show that im sticking with my everyday doodle. But its not a requirement to doodling. The process of drawing is always fun. Its when i come out of it and look at the stupid thing that im like ‘well fuck i fucked that one up again didnt i’, and THEN i get annoyed lol.

I dont sit there consumed with frustration over ‘gee i dont know what to draw’. This is never an issue. I HAVE TOO MUCH TO DRAW. Sometimes i avoid certain gifs/photos because in the back of my mind im like ‘yeah no, i havent leveled up that far yet, i cant do that justice’. But i dont want to admit the sheer number of images of geno alone i have saved. I think my biggest reference folder is still aoki and that has over two thousand screenshots - i dont think anyone will ever surpass that LOL. I have a never ending supply of practice art to be done.

The frustration comes when i have an image in my head and i want to get it down on paper so-to-speak (computer whatever). So - when im NOT using reference (or at least not an exact one) and am making an ‘illustration’ (ish). But again, the process isn't the issue. I like the act of drawing, i like the image in my head slowly taking shape, i like how vividly i can see it. Yall know how obsessed i am with personality - that's not just part of the drawing, that IS the drawing. And each deicision in the illustration is defined by the personality/character.

A computer can't fucking do this.

Could i maybe tell a computer ‘draw geno in the shower’. Sure. And it probably could. And if i didnt care about the process - if all i wanted was a very good drawing of geno in the shower....that probably would be fine. Maybe great even. Maybe it would be the best damn drawing of geno in the shower ever. And then i'd feel like shit because a machine is producing art that is more valuable to other people than mine ever will be. But holy fucking shit that ruins the entire POINT of drawing???? Why would you do that?

I mean, im sure yall can infer the entire point of the act of drawing geno in the shower. He's hot, he's wet. ANYWAY.

In my opinion, a person who wants the end product and doesn't care about the process of getting there....that person is not an artist. That person is someone who enjoys art, and probably thinks they have a lot of good ideas to make into art, but who doesn't feel that pull to make art themselves. They just want to buy art. And they want it cheap. And mindless computers being trained in seconds on the decades of creativity and hard work of art masters is a heck of a lot cheaper than a human.

And the hardest part of all this for me is how worthless this makes me feel - nobody wants you, they want that automatic button. Kinda like my dad that way (haha)

[attex]

for the ask game! well now i’ve gotta know nsh

favorite thing about them

the fucking relationship he has with suns hits really close to home . its disturbingly real ngl . really nearly almost everything is like this i hate relating to some made up guy but alas

least favorite thing about them

i dont even have anything to say here... i kin him it sucks

favorite line

HAHA WITH THE SLIMERS HOLD ON LET ME GET THE FULL QUOTE WE SAY THE "HAHA WITH THE SLIMERS" THING ALL THE FUCKING TIME AS AN INSIDE JOKE WITH FRIENDS

"Haha with the slimers, lizards and etceteras? Surely the answer was in a lizard skull all along!"

LITERALLY THE BEST THING HE HAS EVER SAID . if you want a more serious line,

"I hope eventually when you are out of this state of mind you will look back at these. Look back and reflect on all the regrets you've set yourself up to have."

brOTP

suns, as god intended but also in our* fucked up and beautiful minds with sliver besties

*my friend and i

OTP

sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon sigmoon im really fucking normal

nOTP

nothing. hes the communal boyfriend literally anything works idc

random headcanon

he's incapable of feeling remorse :)

unpopular opinion

(every single ordeal of his mischaracterization here making him stupid silly and nothing else etc. and emotional about things he wouldnt be) also he wouldnt hate pebbles. (u might think i see otherwise but no! its more complicated imo. applies to everyone i dont believe he has any direct hate relationships)

song i associate with them

if you gave me any other character i could easily answer this but with nsh i find this impossible. i dont associate songs with him probably cuz i dont rotate him in my head like the others .

favorite picture of them

yet again theres no images to show in canon other than 1 . so ill just put a cute pic by my boyfriend @sleepyrays

[rainbowstargazerlilies]

Hi! It’s you, surprise!

Anyway, I’m so mentally ill over “the stars claim them” a d I love it I love it I love it. Ever now and then I’ll think to myself “hey, what’s a good fic to read?” And every time it’s yours.

It’s just like [image of cat eating a box] and just so good. It honestly might get printed out and bound into an irl book just so that I can actually bite it.

(I am working so hard not to get off topic)

I don’t think I’ve ever found it harder to explain my love for something with actual words. Your writing alone is incredible. I think I’ve already said this in a comment but I am constantly on the edge of my seat waiting to see what you do next, and you write all of the character so well.

Never before have I wanted this much to reach into a fan-fictional world and scoop out an oc with my hands and just hold them like a tiny little kitten. (Technically accidentally did that with a character anyway but ah well)

Plot aside, because I’m already talking characters, I love the cast you’ve chosen so so so so so so much, I love the diversity and headcanons. And I especially love the dynamics and interactions with each other. And the parallels, oh my goo the parallels in character pairings that pop up occasionally. (Lyf and Micheal, Tim and Grifter’s Bone guy (his name evades me), even just the whole vampire Gerry thing)

Which reminds me, you’ve managed to have at least one reference to wtnv in every book so far, is this deliberate or just art?

Okay, I could talk characters all day so let’s move onto plot now and I’ll ramble about individuals later. 300+ (or something) chapter slow burn my beloved. And then everything just tumbling around around it is just wonderful.

Lyf was just out here trying to live their best life and then things just kept happening to them over and over and over and over again, first the prisoners, then the train, then the prisoners again, then the void, then space, then Nastya, then death, then earth, then the spooks, then the mechs, then the spooks, then the mechs, then the circus, then the mechs, then probably some more spooks, then [see last three lines].

Poor inspector is in the washing machine of happenings.

And of course, gotta adopt a family along the way because, as Batman has shown us, the best way to recover from your whole family dying is to just adopt more.

And the whole chaos avatar screwing with all the other fear’s shticks is an incredible concept and I adore it. I also find it beautifully hilarious. Do you think Lyf could just rainbow people like they did Gerry to help them escape their entity? Instead of like, eye stabbing?

And the fact Lyf sees the fears in colours and one of the first people they meet in Gerry, who originally referred to them as colours in the show, is just fabulous. And then Lyf being all the colours is also marvellous.

(I feel like I’ve been going too long, am I going too long?)

There’s just so many little plot points that I adore that I can’t remember them all at once let alone put them in words so maybe I’ll just doom spam ask you a live rereading so that I get all the bits.

This story is my soul, my life, I am empty without it. Anyway, off to go read it again probably.

Thank you for writing, I love it so much.

!!!!!!!

Thank you so much! I've really loved writing this story, and seeing other people enjoying it to similar levels is beautiful. And no worries about getting off topic or going too long-- I've written this story for over a year. If anyone's going too long here . . .

But anyway. Let's chat!

If you (or anyone else!) ever get this story printed out and bound, I would love to see it <3

I'm so glad you enjoy the writing and characters, too! I personally love my characters and try to let them guide the story as much as possible, so hearing that I write them well is fantastic. So. Thanks!

(And I get the feeling. I've literally made tiny knit dolls for some of my OCs along with my TMA and Mechs ones. Brenn and Juniper my darlings, for instance. And my Lyf, of course. That doll has now crossed so many state lines because I keep bringing them on road trips and the like with me. . .)

Character parallels too. . . yeah, there's a lot that can be said about the way characters parallel and interact and misunderstand each other, and I love writing them doing that. It's fun to consider, and I love it :)

The washing machine of happenings. . . yeah, that sounds about right :D

Heh, adopting a new family to cope with losing one is certainly a way to put it! Not sure how well that works, for Lyf or for Batman, particularly when said New Family also gets into danger, but. . . yep!

Could Lyf just rainbow people to help them escape from an entity? Likely! It would hurt a LOT, though, and it'd probably end up having consequences, you know? Whether it's that the person in question becomes a chaos magnet, or whether they'd be able to break reality too. . . yeah, that's an interesting one to ponder.

I love that, yep!

I'd love to see your thoughts if you do that, whether it's on here or on Ao3! Like I said, I've been writing this for more than a year now, and I really do love talking to people about it.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts like this, and I hope you continue to enjoy the story! We've got some fun times ahead. . .

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

Gulps…, hellohi.. confession I’ve been daydreaming about angst recently and that cult leader Geto drabble u wrote only made me think about it even more… <///333 ignore that I’m a little bit obsessed with the mentally ill/traumatised reader + stsg trope but… can u really blame me ☹️ they would be so good and I think they would be the best comfort u could possible have :((

Ok but. more specifically reader with a rough childhood (a lil like sugu.. he def has some sort of daddy/mommy issues i will die on that hill) or some sort of abandonment/trust issues that has a habit of self sabotaging or intentionally distancing themselves. More specifically maybe grown up stsg where they’re a little more mature and have more of a grasp on how to help you better.. maybe reader has a nightmare or something, goes out for a smoke on the balcony etc etc.. sugu meets them out there n. They just have a good old fashioned talk like :( just being honest and vulnerable because it’s late and u just need a hug most of all :(( def ends with him carrying reader back to bed n playing with ur hair until you fall back asleep GODDDD KILL ME NOW ☹️☹️ moments of tenderness/vulnerability are my absolutely favourite thing in writing/shows/etc ESPECIALLY when it’s from characters that usually don’t display those sort of feelings because you just know it means there’s such a strong bond between them…. Can u hear my heart breaking

^^ either this one or reader with trust issues that’s a little cat-like personality wise (which I think fits so beautifully because stsg are the most wolf coded boys ever) who’s fully convinced they’re better off on their own, they don’t need friends or people to rely on. Until they meet stsg!!!!! Because suddenly there are two irritatingly charming losers following you around and worming their way into your heart and you just. Physically cannot bring yourself to deny them, even if it’s a little scary allowing people in. And god i think it would make them feel SO special once you started warming up to them. Allowing satoru to greet you with hugs or pinch ur cheeks… letting sugu baby you a little…… (distant screaming)

THIS HAS BEEN ANOTHER YAP SESSION BY ME ^_^ it’s literally so late at night rn I don’t know why these ideas always come to me just as I’m about to sleep ffs ☹️ N E WAYYYSSSS im looking forward to that satoru fic/drabble thing u were talking about :3 a mix of scared and excited ngl I feel like I gotta prepare myself incase it’s angsty….. but WHAT HAVE U BEEN UP TO?? It’s literally just been grey n windy where I am so I hope ur getting better weather where u are 😞😞 I HOPE U HAVE BEEN HAVING FUN N TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF!!

(Also irrelevant but I was just about to add a silly image to finish and I stumbled across this image of satoru and I’m laughing my ass of why is he so lanky?????? I could NOT be his friend I would just make fun of him for being built like a fucking STICKBUG 😭😭😭 LOOK AT THE RESEMBLANCE)

(Yes I made the second image myself what do you think of my artistic talent ^_^ ignore the flag)

HELLO HI MY DEAREST OLLIE i am gulping right with you ……… this made me so insane 😔😔

i’ve said it before n i’ll say it again . ariollie STAYS synced up i’m convinced we share a brain……. your scenarios always make me feel so ill (affectionate) and this scenario just means sm to me :((( they really would be the best!!! a reader like that would be treated so tenderly and with sm understanding…. especially since suguru and satoru had rough upbringings too!! (not canon for sugu maybe but i agree w you 100% ollie i literally can’t see his childhood being anything but messed up…. he def has both mommy and daddy issues i know my own kind 🙏🙏)

aaaaa just!!! yeah. reader isolating themselves when they feel down and overwhelmed and being taken care of so effortlessly… stsg just wouldn’t let you face your struggles alone. you’re a team!!! and yeah grown up stsg would for sure be the best at this. i think that as teens they won’t know exactly how to help/might be a little overwhelming….. but as adults they’re more mature and grounded and have a better understanding of your struggles and their own!!! goshhhhh the balcony scene 😔😔😔 ollie do you want my heart to shatter (also what if i told you that exact scenario has popped up in my head multiple times we’re so linked) suguru would just be so vulnerable and patient and caring :(((( our papa bear…. carries you to bed and lulls you to sleep. for sure makes you a warm cup of tea too… sighhh i need him i fear 💔💔

AND AND ANDDDD a catlike reader 😵‍💫😵‍💫 one of my personal favs. independent and a little distant….. used to being on their own……. very picky with who they allow close. it’s just PERFECT for stsg (WOLFCODED BOYS SO TRUEEE)… ollie the way you describe it all makes me feel ILLLL they really would feel so honoured 😭😭😭 cue satoru melting into a puddle when you finally wrap your arms around him….. suguru literally grinning like an idiot (he’s trying DESPERATELY not to but it’s impossible) when you shyly ask him for affection. yeahhhh their hearts would explode i think

ANOTHER BANGER YAP SESSION FROM OLLIEEE i look forward to them sm yknow!!! i can always trust you to have the tastiest stsg scenarios ready to go 🙏🙏🙏 i’m a lil late to this BUT i hope you had a cozy sleep my friend <3 AND WAHH i’m so glad you’re excited for bfb!satoru!!!! i’m gonna try to get it out by next weekend…… i promise not to make it angsty hehe it’s just a lil bittersweet!!! a tiny bit!!!! (depends on how you feel abt the unrequited love trope though 😭😭) IT’S GRAY N WINDY HERE TOO i’m hoping for more sunlight soon………. and i’m doing well hehe i’ve been playing a bunch of pj sekai + watching my favorite streamer play zero escape >:33 WHAT ABT UUU OLLIE what have you been up to?? good things i hope!!! pls remember to rest up and take care of yourself as well <333 it’s what stsg would’ve wanted!!!

(also PHDKDVDJDJYFU NOT THE SATORU SLANDER?????? 😭😭😭 LEAVE MY STICKBUG ALONE???????? i snorted so loud thank you for the free art it’s beautiful <333 i’m gna print it and hang it on my wall.)

[1d1195]

I feel like it has gone by quickly?? But at the same time THE CONCEPT OF TIME IS SO WEIRD TO ME I SERIOUSLY DONT KNOW ANYMORE LOL and Friday I was a bit busy :( it was a friends birthday so I out! But trust me I was ITCHING to pull up tumblr, read and talk to you! You know I love your book recs! And honestly that book sounds creepy! But you’re right I probably would end up reading it and liking it! Definitely added to my list! But I am surprised that you read it solely because you like “easy reads” , things that basically aren’t too stressful! Glad it wasn’t horrible though lol

I SERIOUSLY CANT LOOK THAT MAN IN THE EYES😭 when i turned in my exam to him my heart was beating out of my chest! And UGH IM A SUCKER FOR A HEIGHT DIFFERENCE LIKE MY BRAIN GOES CRAZY!! And idk he’s such a hot DILF lol and YES I DID SEE THOSE HARRY PICS AND I SWEAR I FELT LIKE DROPPING ON MY KNEES FOR THAT MAN😵‍💫😩 he looks so good it makes my head all fuzzy lol

Trust me I WAS CRAZY TOO!! All I wore were band t shirts and merch during my emo phase like I had no normal clothes or clothes that weren’t from hot topic bahaha and honestly I see why you were team Edward! I FINALLY saw the Twilight movies this past summer for the first time! I was never drawn to it when it was popular or the books BUTTTTT if I did have to chose I would have been team Edward lol there was no competition in the first place lol and yes I knew ALL the emo bands lore and stuff! Specifically twenty one pilots’s lore which is all lot lol but taht was like when i was 11 lol now i simply CANNOT due to lack of brain power lol

ANOTHER COUPLE MIGHT BE GETTING ENGAGED?! HELLO?! IM GONNA CRY FOR SURE!! And I’m sure part 4 will be great! You’re really great with coming with such detailed and unique! And you take such classic tropes and give your spin on it! I genuinely think you’re so talented Sam!

What’s crazy is that in my head I call you “ Samantha” when you literally do something crazy in your stories or like make me giddy?? Like “omg SAMANTHA!!!?” Idk if any of that made sense lol anyways Noah would have been cute! But Kyle is definitely more of a frat boy name lol and yeah I know about icebreaker never read it but I’ve definitely seen the girlies go crazy over it lol

My Kyle is literally so sweet! I met him at my schools IT services thing and he helped me out! Then I saw him again and he’s very nice!

And you know I love your long responses and I love you!!!-💜

HAHAHAHAHA I TALK TO MYSELF ALL THE TIME. I CONSTANTLY say “get it together Samantha.” That’s hilarious. I love that! If you’re inclined you gotta let me know which part/line in particular you do that for every once in a while 😭😂💕 please do not apologize for having friends and plans and being social. I’m glad you went out! That sounds like fun! My best friend and I are November birthdays so we celebrate the whole month of our births (our significant others LOVE it almost as much as we do, obviously).

The book was SO CREEPY. Stress level 12/10. So OBVIOUSLY I know the deeper meaning behind “don’t judge a book by its cover” but I’ve literally never picked up a book without judging its cover. Or at the very least the back cover. I’m pretty close with my sister so I often give books about sisters a thorough twice over. ALL THIS TO SAY I had no idea what it was going to be about when I picked it up hehehehe

Omg I could cry. Height difference, DILF, unable to look him in the eyes ughhhh I will also cry. I’m swooning just thinking about it 😭 I gotta write a professor/TA situation one of these days 😍😍😍

I don’t think I had an emo phase. A pseudo emo phase for sure. I never got into bands the way I was supposed to (but if I hear Fall For You I turn into a puddle). I’m obsessed with the image. I am spiraling at the idea you only saw Twilight last summer. I went to the midnight premieres I’m CRYING 😂

I have a lot of ideas in my head but they all boil down to happily ever after, marriage, 2.5 kids, and a white picket fence. I feel bad yall gotta keep reading the same story over and over 😂

Okay Kyle def is more of a frat name that was also what I thought when I switched it over. Noah was too cute I think hehehe maybe another story.

OBSESSED WITH YOUR KYLE MEET CUTE. CAN’T WAIT TO WRITE ABOUT IT 😍💕

Have a lovely start to your week bestie! 💕💕

Xoxo

P.s. Don’t read my update tomorrow if you’re having a good day lol I have been struggling with seasonal depression (I think it’s just regular depression actually at this point. But ya know) I am being dramatic honestly. Please don’t worry about me but regardless I’m probs going through an emo phase NOW hahahahahaha so it’s a little bit of a tear jerker imo

[fanficsfreeideas]

Crimson Deer Sinmas

Chapter 2

day 31 New Beginnings

The café was alive with the comforting hum of holiday cheer. The scent of cinnamon, nutmeg, and freshly baked cookies wafted through the air, wrapping every patron in a warm, festive embrace. Niffty was busy decorating a tiny Sinmas tree in the corner of the café when the door burst open with dramatic flair.

“Mammon has arrived!” The towering sin declared, stepping into the café like he owned the place—which wasn’t far from the truth. “Niffty! Uncle Mam is here, and guess what I brought ya!”

Niffty peeked at what she was doing, her eyes lighting up at the sight of Mammon holding a gleaming knife wrapped in a bright red bow.

“A new knife to stab others with?” She squealed, darting toward him with excitement.

Mammon caught her mid-dash, scooping her up like she was a feather. “That’s right! Isn’t it a beauty? Only the best for my favorite little niece!”

Niffty clung to his shoulder with glee. “Uncle Mam, guess what?”

“What’s that, Niffty?” he asked, adjusting his hold on her with an amused grin.

Before she could answer, Alastor stepped out from the kitchen, holding a tray of fresh cinnamon rolls. His ever-present, unsettling smile widened as he greeted Mammon. “Ah, Mammon! How lovely to see you again. Would you care for a cinnamon roll?”

Mammon’s golden eyes instantly locked onto Alastor’s midsection, his grin stretching into something even goofier than usual. He pointed dramatically. “Is that—? Are you—?”

Alastor sighed, already knowing where this was going. “Yes, Mammon. I’m pregnant. Three months.”

Mammon’s excitement erupted like a volcano. He carefully placed Niffty back on the ground before lunging forward and scooping Alastor into his arms. “You’re carrying a fawn?! My nephew or niece?!”

“Yes, yes, that’s how this works,” Alastor replied, balancing the tray of cinnamon rolls in one hand. “Now, if you could—”

But Mammon was already storming out the door with Alastor in tow. “Shopping! We need to make sure my cinnamon roll maker has everything!”

Back at his office, Crimson’s phone buzzed with a notification. He glanced at the screen to see a message from Mammon: “Don’t worry, Sour, I’ve got your deer! We’re shopping for the fawn!”

Crimson sighed, setting the phone down. “Let him get it out of his system. It’s not like he’s going to buy out the whole—”

His phone buzzed again with a photo: a grinning Mammon posing beside a mountain of baby items, ranging from practical essentials to absurd luxuries like a golden bassinet and diamond-encrusted pacifiers. Crimson stared at the image for a long moment before muttering, “Of course he will.”

As evening fell, Crimson entered the café to find a disoriented Alastor walking in through the front door with his arms full of shopping bags. When he noticed Crimson, he dropped the bags and stumbled towards him with an exhausted but contented smile.

"My love," Alastor murmured, resting his head against Crimson's. "Mammon... he made sure our fawn had everything."

Crimson's arms enveloped Alastor, his expression shifting between amusement and annoyance. "Everything?"

Alastor nodded weakly. "Everything and more. I didn't even know half of these things existed."

Crimson chuckled softly, planting a kiss on top of Alastor's head. "Well, as long as you're okay."

Mammon sashayed his way back into the café, arms spread wide as if he were expecting a round of applause. "Check it out! I got everything your deer needs and then some. Gotta make sure my future nephew or niece gets the best!"

Crimson raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Please tell me you didn't buy out the whole store."

Mammon's smirk grew even wider, looking far too pleased with himself. "Nah, just about half of it."

As the café filled with laughter, festive songs, and the warmth of family, Crimson held onto his deer tightly. Mammon may have caused a bit more chaos, but he also added an abundance of love to their Sinmas season.

Alastor chuckled softly, already envisioning the tales they would one day share with their fawn about this unforgettable first Sinmas together.