#this has been very useful knowledge for me interpersonally at times as it's a helpful subtle red flag to be clued into and to avoid

[thepoisonroom]

i spent months of my life selling books and all i got was this stupid encyclopedic knowledge of seemingly innocuous titles that cryptofascists cream themselves over

[tuliptic]

Start Line: Growing and Transforming

We've been running this far, non-stop, all day yeah   Never getting tired, we keep up this runner's high   You know graduation   Even though it's over, it's not the end   Put on some new shoes   Yeah we're ready at the start line

Things have been difficult for a lot of us, and sometimes, we just want a flicker of hope, or some words of encouragement that can push us to go further. Just… Something, a message, to tell us that the pain we’re going through right now is temporary, and things will be better. 

Close your eyes, meditate on this topic and tell yourself that you’re on a brand new start line, and ask for the messages you’re called to hear. Breathe in and out, make sure your mind and heart is calm. Then, open your eyes to see which pile talks to you the most/draws you in the most. Once you’ve found your pile, scroll down to the respective parts to see what are the messages for you.

Pile 1 - Pile 2

Pile 3 - Pile 4

Disclaimer: This is solely for my entertainment purposes. Take only whatever you feel like it. If it doesn’t resonate, it’s okay to just drop it. Also, I do not consent to my work or images being used by third parties on this platform or other websites as well.

Decks used: Crossing Star Tarot Deck (Major Arcana), Linestrider Tarot Deck, Sweet Dreams Oracle Deck, Starcodes Astro Oracle Deck, self-made lyrics deck.

Pile 1

One card to represent you: The Magician rx

The first thought that popped into my mind is that… You’ve probably been told (many times) that you’re a good manifestor, but you have not seen it working out for you, or at least, not at the moment. You’ll need to try an error (or maybe errors) to find what works for you, and what works best for you. It can be rather disheartening to fail, but look for the opportunities in life’s challenges and learn the lessons. You work better by letting your physical body learn rather than your brain to absorb the knowledge. You probably have also noticed your tendency to self-sabotage, but you don’t intend to do anything about it. Perhaps, not at the moment, as you’re not in a right place yet to fix yourself, but you need to remember it and to work on it.

1. Why have things happened?  - Four of Cups

You have been too focused on what you’re feeling and not looking at the outer world, on whatever that’s happening around you or to you. This definitely has something to do with The Magician rx above, where you’re sabotaging yourself and not focusing on the present. It’s giving me very… Neptune rx in Pisces vibes, so some of you who picked this pile may have Pisces placements. It’s like living in the world yet not living at the same time, where you’re floating and drifting, not seeing where you’re at or where you’re going. Life has been throwing you opportunities to learn the lessons, but you’re not learning it. Not to mention that you’re not organising what it is that you’re feeling inside and to do something about it. With all of that happening, some of you may feel you’re at a standstill or some will have their head and heart wrapped up in different bags and not know how to unify them.

2. How to stop your train of thoughts and start again from where you’re standing? - Knight of Pentacles rx

You have to stop dilly-dallying, and pick up the pace if you want to move away from where you’re standing. Sure, ADHD paralysis is difficult to deal with when you’re frozen (I’m referring to myself as well, in case y’all think I’m attacking anyone), but it is already something if you can move yourself away from the way of harm first. My first thought here is to train your body to be able to move on autopilot from time to time, which will help you in countless ways. Sure, you’re still sluggish and unenthusiastic, but let your body move first, exercise, and let your brain rest during those times.  Another way you can attempt to stop those thoughts is to get help. Not only external help from professionals, but more of building healthy interpersonal relationships. True friends will want to help you to be better, and will be willing to spend some time to accompany you to carry out activities that are beneficial for both of you.

3. What to look forward to? - The Magician rx

You’ll be able to tap into your energy. I do think that this is a time for you to work together with your manifestation talent/skill, and for you to decide which direction you want to head. You need to remember that the direction you’re going is not something fixed, so no worries in making a decision. You can change that anytime, or go on a different journey if it doesn’t fit you. The more important thing is to have a welcoming heart, to dream and invite limitless magic into your life, allow your guides to show in unexpected ways. Do not be afraid, go step by step and find out what works for you.  Of course, you can look forward to this if you take action. If you’re not doing anything, do not hope or wish for things to fall directly into your laps.

4. What have you left behind and grown from? - The Tower

You’ve gone through a huge upheaval, you’ve gone through a lot of chaos and traumas in the past. Now, you’re going through another fundamental shift. It may not be as tremendous and messy as it was in the past, but this shift is something more of an energy thing, where you need to learn to be more selective with where and who you want to spend your energy on. This energy encompasses mental, spiritual and physical energy, and you have to remember that you’re also an exhaustible being, where you can’t focus on others forever. Look back, and you’ll see how far you’ve gone from that unhappy place. Remind yourself that you’re able to do it again. Once you’ve grown from it, you’ll also be more free to explore your skills and abilities. You’ve always had a tendency to have a foot in almost everything, and with you now knowing how to distribute your energy and time? You definitely can. You can try focusing on what’s in front of you instead of attempting to explore far, you might find treasures closer to you instead.

5. When will things start getting better? When will you get your justice? - The Chariot

The Chariot talks about action and goal. I don’t think I need to say much on this, as it’s pretty self explanatory. However, remember to hold onto your reins as you move towards wherever it is you’re heading. You need to have a clear goal and a destination, else you’ll run out of energy/fuel, and you may end up in different places. You’ll need a clear and visible goal, and the stages need to be well defined and measurable. You get strength from seeing actual results, and that’s when you gain the confidence to continue moving forward. You will get justice when you’re moving forward. The justice here is internal, as it is more towards countering the self-sabotaging part of you. It’s difficult, but once you wipe the tears and bite on the happiness you’re seeing, you’ll know your purpose in life, and you’ll taste that justice.

6. Advice for you - Five of Pentacles, Nine of Cups rx, Ace of Cups rx

Some of you may be facing financial difficulties or even health problems. It’s best if you work on them now as you prepare for what it is to come. It can be quite disheartening at times when you question and wonder why hard times fall on you more often than others. This may also result in an unhealthy stream of emotions. Emotions itself isn’t a bad thing, the problem would be how you’re managing it. Don’t hold them in and stack them up. Find a safe place to release them, understand those emotions and nurture yourself back. Place your trust in the Universe, believe that whatever that is happening to you right now is part of a greater plan. Twist your thoughts a little, see it as a blessing where you’re finding problems when it’s still salvageable (it’s still painful but hey, we can work on it eventually). Tune into your heart, listen to your wishes, and look at what you have achieved throughout the years. Your wishes of the past are now fulfilled, and you’ve finally built the life you’ve wanted when you were much younger. Well, it may exist in different forms, or you’ve gotten it not according to how you originally planned, but it’s there. Know that you can change your wishes into reality because you have the power. Believe in yourself. Let’s say if you want to recover faster, you can manifest quicker healing. You can. Just make sure that you do not fall into the habit of feeling dejected and dissatisfied quickly. Hold on to a heart of gratitude. It will open up doors for you.

Overall energy: The Tower rx, Six of Pentacles

There’s a mix of energy here. You’re unsatisfied that things have gone out of your control, yet there’s also a sense of relief that you are not responsible over those things going out of control. Despite the difficult times, you still hold generosity in your heart, where you offer what you have (materials, energy, time) to those who need them. In turn, you’ll also be blessed with what you need. Accept help given to you with an open heart and a grateful attitude. The greater plan the Universe has in mind for you may have something to do with people and connection, so that may be an aspect you want to pay attention to. Things or memories from the past can be resurfacing, so stop hiding or running away, and face them. 

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Pile 2

One card to represent you: Death

First thing I’m picking up here is that you’re going through a lot of changes right now, and the next thing is that… You’re being watched over. There's a lot, and I mean A WHOLE LOT of things that are going on right now, and they’re overflowing your plate. I could sense a certain level of panic and dread over everything, but there’s also some form of apathy where you’re tired of everything and anything happening all at once. There’s too much that’s going on to the point you have no idea where or what to focus on, so you’re probably at a standstill where you’re looking at the overflowing plate, doing nothing. I’d say that this is a ��freeze” response because you’re at a point where you can’t process anything at the moment, but once your brain starts spinning again, you’ll get things done. You have people watching over you, or your guides are protecting you at this time. Imagine you’re standing still in the middle of the path but no one is hitting you. It’s like that. Your guides are making sure that you have enough time to process whatever that’s happening to you and around you. Once you start moving, they’ll follow behind you and help you out when you ask them, especially when you’re facing any confrontation.

1. Why have things happened? - The Hermit rx

You’ve withdrawn yourself from certain aspects of life (friendship, or work, or a certain class, or even a hobby) with attempts of healing yourself and to give yourself more time. Sure, you’ve got the time, but those times were not spent on yourself, those free times were not helping you, but the other people in your life. In another sense, you were still busy, and you did not get the rest you needed.  There’s a certain level of emptiness that I’m feeling here, and that you’re torn as well, not sure if you want to fill that emptiness or you want to remain it as so because of the comfort of being used to it. Do you trust yourself, with the steps and decisions you’ve been making? BET ON ME by ITZY was playing as I typed this out, and I do feel that there’s a message in this song for you.

2. How to stop your train of thoughts and start again from where you’re standing? - King of Pentacles rx

King of Pentacles is generally the last card of the deck, and what I'm seeing here is that you still have a lot more to go, that things are not final yet, and you have the ability (King) to change things to your favour. I understand that you're currently in a flight or freeze mindset, but you need to work your brain to trick it a little so that it moves, and you can reprogram it a little so that you can move away from the spot you froze. Be kind to yourself and let go of those thoughts that are haunting you, step away from those self-criticism, know that you deserve gentleness. The King is abundant in finances, life experience, but I'd also like to add connections into this list. To be a King, you must have known to pull strings around to make things work, to make sure you win the trust of the people. To achieve that, you need good and skillful people who are willing to listen to your plans and to make them work. Those connections are what will help you throughout your difficult times. Sure, people may have turned you down in the past, but know that they may not be in any position to extend any help back then, and that things may be different now. They will be more capable now. Some… May have a really painful tongue, not filtering their words. But still, they will help, and you'll be surprised with what they're able to offer.

3. What to look forward to? - Ten of Cups rx

This… probably is not gonna sound ideal to a lot of people but… You can look forward to having a fresh start. It's like the cups you have are now poured clean, and you are forced to redo things again, to fill them up again but this time, you get to choose what you fill them up with. Previously, when you were growing up, people around you filled those cups for you, helping you make decisions (that you may not like or agree with), or even tainting them (putting droplets of other things in it), and those form you to who you are today. But, by pouring them clean (a very, very painful process), you are now able to pour and fill your cups with whatever you want and whatever you need. You'll be able to work with your dreams and spirit's energy to reach your highest good as you fiercely protect your cups, your energy, your life. Your life is now yours to write.

4. What have you left behind and grown from? - Three of Wands

It feels like you have left behind a lot of original plans that you have made for yourself in the past as you build yourself anew. There's a lot of internal cleansing done, and you've decided to start everything from scratch again. You'll be able to build things again and fully immerse yourself in a new future you'll create. You've learnt to grow from pain and to see the smaller happiness in life, learning to accept that growth is inevitable. Visualisation is also vital here, where you will need to immerse yourself in whatever you have now as you visualise where you will be standing in the future. You decide your own path, and you have to walk it.

5. When will things start getting better? When will you get your justice? - Ten of Swords rx

Things will start getting better once you pull out all the swords from your back. There's a lot of… Purging. Yeah, purging is a more suitable word to use for your situation. Your situation is like the shelf full of ceramic plates that will crash the moment you open that door. But you still need to open it, you'll need to let all of those fall, and you can clean it, to make space for new items to put in. You now can choose metal plates, or plastic plates to put in, whatever it is that you want. But first, you need to clean the space, only then you'll invite limitless magic into your life and allow your spirit guides to show up in unexpected ways. They are there for you, through a breeze, through a flyer, through a sudden noise to stop you from crossing the road. Once you've made space, that's when you'll get your justice by living your best self.

6. Advice for you - King of Wands rx, Strength rx, Six of Swords rx

There's another King card here, telling me that whatever you're going through right now is not an easy one. It probably will be there a little longer and it is what will help you to build up your upcoming new life, to start everything again. You will need to be at peace with yourself and be kind to yourself first.  Turn your strength and focus inwards, nurture yourself, and do not shy from cutting people out of your life if they drain you too much, even if they are family. You need to understand that you are your own universe, and you are your own priority. If you do not prioritise yourself, no one will. Others do not have that responsibility over you, so let yourself breathe. For now, heal your wounds, use it as your badge of honour, and live your life as how you see fit. Remember, it is you who define who you are, not your past.

Overall energy: Strength, Nine of Wands

There's a lot of strength in you, actually, just that you have not known how to work with it right now, not sure how to turn that strength for yourself. You have been resilient in everything you do, no matter how battered up you are, so let those tension fall from you. Sit down in peace and quiet as you receive the messages from your guides, letting them guide you through this time of difficulty. Trust your feelings, they know you better than yourself. Listen to your emotions, they understand your needs better. Act on them when needed, you will know when the timing is right.

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Pile 3

One Two cards to represent you: The Tower rx, The Chariot rx

I'm… Not exactly that surprised to see two cards falling out. The Tree in this image symbolises the Tree of Life as I was doing the reading, so some of you who picked this pile may be told that you guys are knowledgeable or do possess some extensive knowledge in very specific fields. And with this knowledge comes expectations, which can be seen with two cards falling out for you. With these two cards, what I'm immediately picking on is that… You are in a phase of life that can be quite challenging right now, where things that are beyond your control are happening almost all at once, and you're losing your balance as you continue to run on the uneven paths. You're growing exhausted as you're being chased with expectations and by your own sense of duty. So, please take a break when you need it.

1. Why have things happened? - Three of Pentacles rx

There have been conflicts going on with you and your social circles, may it be disagreements between classmates/colleagues, or getting shunned by them for not going along with them. There’s a slight hint of one being an outcast here. Correlating to the cards representing you, how you became an outcast is also due to what you're going through life right now, requiring you to put a hold onto a lot of other things, including assignments and/or socialisation, etc. Your intuition has been your assistant throughout these times of perils, and it's giving me that you do know how and why you're in a situation that's making you stagnant. Not sure if you are capable of breaking that ice or you're resting at the moment before you take the first step out. Either way, unlike most people, you know where you’re standing at right now, and you do know how to make changes towards a new you if needed.

2. How to stop your train of thoughts and start again from where you’re standing? - Three of Swords

This is probably a weird way to put it, but you need to use your pain as a tool to help you get back to the present. You may be able to perceive pain differently, like… It's to prove that you're still living, that you're still alive, and you still can make changes to the situation you're in. You need to remind yourself that you're beloved, and that the Universe loves you and is throwing hints at you through very… questionable ways. Trust your inner wisdom and intuition, let them guide you to where you're supposed to be. Oddly, I'd say that you have been through something similar before, but you kinda panicked when your previous methods no longer work for this situation. This is the time where you need to find a new method that will help you develop your senses, and for you to be at peace with yourself again. Coping mechanisms, but let it help you with more than just coping.

3. What to look forward to?- The Chariot rx

I'd say that things will slow down, not because the problems are resolved, but because the tires have worn out. Your nightmare and problems have also run out of strength to go after you, which gives you a quick chance to take a small break before you retreat to somewhere safer, where you build a new coping mechanism and possibly plans for the upcoming problems. I'd also say that this is a good time for you to make new connections that will be helpful in the long run. Don't worry about burdening others, as I believe that there will be a chance for you to help them back. Friendships and connections are mutual, where both parties benefit from them.  Not sure if you’re the type who’d welcome new changes. Nevertheless, challenges will be coming your way for you to level up. I’d say that these challenges are coming in a way where you’re capable of managing it. From there, you’ll experience a new sort of rebirth, and you’ll find a new identity that works with you better. 

4. What have you left behind and grown from? - King of Pentacles

I have no idea why but I'm sensing some… Familial relationships and expected duties? Most of you may be working with establishing healthy boundaries with your family, making sure that the roles are properly and fairly distributed. It also feels like… Financial responsibilities aren't yours alone, and the entire family will need to figure out how to contribute and prepare for any emergencies.  You’re now the King, where you have a comfortable relationship with your finances, knowing that it’s yours, your property, and you have every right to access it and to use it without guilt. There may be a chance where your family or extended relatives have guilt-tripped you to sacrifice or contribute to their needs, and you’re unapologetically free from those now. You now learn to trust your intuition more and let your inner wisdom guide you through your way subconsciously. It’s now a part of your life where you don’t really need to sit and listen, as you’re driving on auto-pilot by your subconsciousness.

5. When will things start getting better? When will you get your justice? - The Sun rx

I'd say that things will start getting better at unexpected times, or even at times when you can't see hope. The Sun is unable to shine on all people, it's unable to pierce through thick walls, but it doesn't mean it's not there. The Sun here feels mellow, like it's keeping its warmth and heat in check to not burn the other living beings that it's feeding.  There’s also another message here that is assuring you that good things take time, and that you’ll need to be kind to yourself so that those blessings arrive and you’re ready to receive them wholeheartedly. The entire thing is a journey, and the roads can be bumpy. But still, what matters is the journey and you’re able to reach your final goal in a good condition, so take your time as you tread through those paths. Once you start walking and taking action, luck will fall by your side and accompany you through this journey.

6. Advice for you - Nine of Pentacles rx, Knight of Wands, Knight of Cups

You may be using your time unwisely by focusing on things that do not exactly benefit you. I’m not saying that you can’t, but you need to set your priorities straight and know what is the final goal of your actions. You may start a project that requires you to invest and purchase tools, when you’re rushing a deadline that’s gonna affect your assignment and final’s results. By doing this, you’re in a way, not planning well. Sure, you get your emotional fulfilment, but it also comes at the price of you failing your semester (touchwood). Passion projects can be fun, but you need to plan your time well, plan your resources well, plan your enthusiasm as well. The planning happens behind closed doors. Others will see how well you portray yourself and be drawn to you, but you need to remember the need for continuous effort for you to achieve the best results. The public, or people around you may gather around you because of how well you have a grip over yourself, and once things have calmed down, feel free to let yourself loose a little. People will show up around you, and it’s totally fine for you to enjoy the attention and affection. You just need to remember how much you’ve put in to build yourself, and not let others take you for granted, or to take advantage of your skills or what you have to offer.

Overall energy: Strength, Four of Wands rx

Strength and beauty comes in all forms possible, even through pain and tears. This is something that you’ll be learning to accept through this difficult time. Most of us may understand the beauty and appeal of pain, but not many can accept it. Whatever we’re going through right now makes us learn and accept it, to come to terms with it. Of course, changes come along with it and we will need to learn to adapt to it, to build a “New You” as you face the upcoming challenges. Know that whatever you’re doing right now is a pre-requirement for you to achieve your dreams. You are your own world, and you can change the world as you grace the strong wind standing your way.

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Pile 4

One card to represent you: The Devil

What I’m feeling here is that you tend to have a certain level of control over some things in your life. The control here isn’t exactly pleasant, where it may be imbalanced and there can be some arguments going on. Temptations are heard as well. You know you’re stuck in some loop where you can’t escape, and you have no intention of escaping. The picture for this pile is somehow giving me Sex and The City vibes, where the neon lights (benefits, financial resources, interests) have been the focus of your sight, and this allows you to have a different perspective, or for you to see things differently from your peers.

1. Why have things happened? - Strength rx

You have lost strength, internal strength mainly. You were not surrounded by those who supported you, and your energy was depleted bit by bit as you tried to fit in. You have put yourself in a position where you depend on the actions and feelings of others, and you may have given up on your instinctive responses, not having the self-discipline and control you need. The Lion is your passion, and it’s now your enemy, threatening to destroy whatever stability and name you’ve built. Imagine a woman trying to tame the agitated lion and the two ended up in a fight, while the spectators (wrong group of friends) by the side just watched. 

2. How to stop your train of thoughts and start again from where you’re standing? - Knight of Swords

You’ll need to start taking care of yourself, listen to yourself. You’re a person who prides your intelligence, and you tend to be in your own head a lot. However, you’ve listened to the noises out there that have affected you in a negative way. Not to say that you’re supposed to go back into the state of being in your own headspace, but for you to pay attention to yourself more, to listen to the voices of your heart instead of the external noises. You’ve always been head>heart, and now you’ll need to go head<heart. You may not like how different this… new routine is, but you will also know that it has to be done, as you’ve been seeing messages of this “new path” around. Balancing out the heart voices and head nagging is important, and this is how you shall start.  You also need to remember you yourself, are the source of everything essentially you. You build yourself; you create yourself. You are not built on the words or acceptance of others. You need to remind yourself that you are already doing well, and the expectations of others are not yours to bear.

3. What to look forward to? - Ace of Wands

New beginnings come with changes. Once you’ve chosen a different voice to listen to, you’ll be able to regain energy, bit by bit, to attempt more changes in your life. Opportunities will surely come your way when you accept the positive energy around you, and it’s up to you to seize them and make them work. It’s a time for you to follow your instincts and have courage. Take action when you need them.  That aside, it’s suggested that you return to your roots as you venture through this bright explosion of good energy. Remember the importance of grounding yourself and go back to the basics from time to time. It’s not only to cleanse your heart, but also serves as a reminder of where you came from, and how you need to be in touch with your past and nature.

4. What have you left behind and grown from? - Six of Wands

What I’m seeing here is that you’ve put down the yearn and drive for fame and luxuries, and have redefined success for yourself. You’ve awakened from the past and start to feel more energised, learning to start your days in a better mood as you count your victories. More people are recognizing your achievements as they approach you with interest.  As you compare what you had and what you’re having now (or will be having in the future), you’ll be able to evaluate better and have a clearer idea of the direction you want to take next. You are warned of self-doubt and lack of confidence. You have to believe in your abilities and worth so people can trust you, so that you can trust and confide in yourself.

5. When will things start getting better? When will you get your justice? - Eight of Wands

Eight of Wands is a card that talks about movements. Once you’re moving, once you’re taking action, that’s when you’ll see things turning out different for you. You’ll start to receive things or messages that you’ve been waiting for, and it’s time for you to stop stalling. If you’re interested in someone, you will have to walk towards them and work for it. You’ll be able to attract a loving, happy, fulfilling relationship into your life as you’re no longer the old you. Remember, birds of the same kind flock together, and the same goes with people too. You attract people of your level. You want that person who’s active and charming? Be proactive in approaching them.  Your justice will come in unexpected forms, but most of it would be releasing of past hurt. There will be times where you’ll want to hug yourself to sleep as you were reminded of how things have been difficult. This is one of the healing phases where you slowly let things go. The lighter you are, the better you become. This is also because the karma of those who’ve wronged you will not be tied to you anymore.

6. Advice for you - The Star, King of Cups rx, Nine of Cups

Rebuild yourself. This probably sounds difficult and too… idealised? But this is what you need to do. The Star is there to tell you that there’s a silver lining behind every grey cloud, that you’re not broken beyond repair, and that you’re able to work yourself up to another peak. This card is an extremely gentle card, so take that message and be gentle to yourself as well. You’ll need to practise self-compassion, listen to your inner feelings, cultivate yourself and let yourself grow into your very best self. Love others by first loving yourself, don’t forget about the promises you’ve made to yourself.  Make new and healthy connections as you flourish. If you wish for them, they’ll come into your life. Learn to be content with the gifts you’re having everyday, learn to hold gratitude with what the Earth is offering you. With the amount of Cups here, try getting close to bodies of water (beach, sea, waterfall, etc). Water may be a healing element for you. Alternatively, try doing activities that are related to creativity (crafting, writing, drawing, or something that’s symbolistic) as they can be an outlet of your heart’s wants, which you can understand better from the results of your craft. Remember to stay hydrated too.

Overall energy: Justice, Eight of Swords

Justice is really your theme right now. You’ve been choosing to run away from the obvious, but it’s high time that you wake up, pull down the blinds that have been covering your eyes and to see the truth for who he is. The first action needed for every awakening is to open your eyes and acknowledge whatever that has been going wrong. Only then you’re able to take action towards a better situation. You’ll need to open up your heart and invite new changes in, welcome new beginnings in. The theme of Justice can be difficult and painful, but it’s necessary for you as you transform bit by bit, cutting down the vines that have been tying you down, severing unhealthy ties that have been binding you down (refer to The Devil). Get back your own autonomy, treat yourself right, let justice be served on who deserves them.

[thecorvidcurio-if]

For as long as you can remember, no one you've loved has ever lasted very long.

The moment you come to love someone, no matter the type of love, tragedy befalls you both. In a desperate attempt to escape this cycle you've been moving from place to place, uprooting any time you start getting too close. This new city shouldn't be any different. It wouldn't be any different, if not for your new neighbours.

The more time you spend around these bizarre people, the more obvious it becomes that there's a layer of reality you've previously been unaware of. As you discover more of what was previously hidden from you, though, it begs the question:

Is there something more to your tragic circumstances than an unfortunate run of bad luck? Could it be the result of some power you don't understand? If so, does that mean there's a way out of it?

Does that mean there's someone to blame for your suffering?

Or click here if the image link doesn't work.

PLEASE NOTE: This game is in very early development. Only the first two chapters are posted, the writing will be continuously revised as I write, and there may be bugs or glitches. If you run into any issues, please let me know.

Cursed Ambrosia is an interactive fiction novel that deals with topics of death, loss, and love. It's a supernatural fantasy with a focus on interpersonal connections. There are six relationship routes, two women, two men, and two non-binary options. All romance options will have a platonic route as well. More info on them under the cut.

Note: Though these characters are romanceable, you do not need to romance them to play out their routes. On the platonic route, you still get the same plot content, just minus the romantic bits.

Vicente - An exceedingly polite and seemingly put together man who values kindness and compassion, but struggles to accept those things himself. He's keen to look after others and encourage them to accept help, yet insists on handling his own troubles alone.

Abby - An overwhelmingly enthusiastic and eccentric "person" who values curiosity and freedom, but struggles with moderation. He has more energy than he or anyone else knows what to do with. He's got a talent for mischief and is incapable of going very long without causing trouble, intentionally or not.

Kaida - A bitterly jaded and taciturn fellow who values knowledge and secrecy, but struggles to trust others. He's always many steps ahead of everyone else, and always knows more than he lets on. He's someone very useful to know... Or, he would be, if anyone could get a straight answer from him about anything.

Marina - An unapologetically loud and rambunctious woman who values rebellion and individuality, but struggles to let her guard down. She's brilliant, but easily bored. If you tell her she can't or shouldn't do something, it's just about guaranteed she'll be doing that thing in the near future.

Thea - A theatrically elegant and captivating woman who values loyalty and honesty above all else. On the job she's glamorous and confident, captivating any who hear her hypnotic voice. Off the job, though, she's something much different, and hopes to find someone who can appreciate both sides of her.

Shiloh - A cripplingly shy and skittish entity of uncertain origin who values privacy and comfort, but struggles to leave the safety of what it knows. Shiloh enjoys observing others interacting, and lives vicariously through witnessing the connections other people form with each other. It is quite sure that it will never manage to make such connections itself.

[dr-futbol-blog]

The Defiant One, Pt. 2

They contact Atlantis. The fact that Sheppard and McKay are suddenly on the same page, suddenly of one mind, is underlined by the fact that they keep using the pronoun "we". Just a moment ago, they both were using the passive voice and "I" and "you", and suddenly it's "we". It's a noticeable, tangible change. And other characters notice it too.

"We figure the Ancient satellite shot the Wraith ship down in the final battle for Atlantis."

"The wealth of scientific and military knowledge we could acquire is invaluable."

"We have to go down and take a look."

"All the more reason we should have a look. We're already here."

I want to highlight the fact that they are both doing this, and they are taking turns doing it. They are speaking with one voice and one mind, here. And not only that, but Weir is treating them the same. As an item. She definitely noticed something going on between them in the previous episode, first in Rodney's lab watching them get just a little too excited, get a little bit too close to each other discussing... theories, and then definitely during the siege, watching McKay, hearing Sheppard. There, she wasn't a barrier between them, she was their go-between.

And they are not just using words to communicate. The whole call to Atlantis, they are talking to the city but they are having a conversation with each other using facial expressions, exchanging looks, nodding at each other, moving their bodies. It's a whole conversation that's happening outside of the words used.

I mentioned in connection with Home (S01E08) that we see several times that Rodney has managed to talk Sheppard into doing something he might not have originally intended or wanted to do. Usually, we only see the result, we see them on some mission on a random planet or station that McKay wanted to check out. Here, we actually see him do it:

He mouths the words "Help me!" to Sheppard. That's all Sheppard needs. He does it... automatically, like he doesn't even think about it, it's just his natural response. Sheppard looks helpless, like he would probably do anything for this man if he thought to ask (and, um, in the second season we see how far Rodney can push that, but let's get to that later).

The "our interest is purely professional" is not only extremely suggestive. He's obviously referring to the planet and the distress call, but he could just as well be saying that about himself and Sheppard in general and he would be lying. But also, he's speaking for the both of them here. He is. speaking. for the both. of them.

They both also look really miffed when Dr. Gaul tries to get in the way of their budding adventure, and the poor guy really did end up paying the ultimate price just for having been in the vicinity of fire and powder, which as they kiss consume.

It should also be pointed out that while McKay is clearly doing the instigating, Sheppard is the one who goes so far as to lie to Elizabeth. That is, he goes above and beyond for McKay. Also, Elizabeth clearly did not believe for one second that their interest was purely professional, whether regarding the planet or their interpersonal relationship. She has clearly given up trying to reign them in.

Once they're on the planet, we see McKay apply a chapstick to his lips and act like a real bitchy queen toward Dr. Gaul (and as he stands with his hands folded across his chest behind the title card, we're not left wondering who the 'Defiant One' of the episode is supposed to be; McKay is the defiant one in that he refuses to go by Sheppard's plan to keep him at arm's length). They start bickering, with very little gusto. Sheppard interjects with: "Alright, knock it off, guys. I've spent the last fifteen hours listening to you two."

First of all, Dr. Abrams might have a whole different characterization of what the past fifteen hours in the jumper had been like:

Second, Sheppard is both jealous of people Rodney gives attention to and uses projection as a psychological self-defense mechanism pretty much constantly.

There's a scene in First Strike (S03E20), where Sheppard seeks McKay out for no other purpose than to spend time with him (he was just out discussing comics with Ronan and Teyla, being completely useless) and he walks in on McKay and Zelenka arguing. He quips with "Why don't you guys just make out and get it over with?" (which just tells us that he a) wanted to make out with Rodney or b) had done so in the past, but we'll circle back to that later and c) he thinks that the best and possibly the only way to get McKay to stop bickering is to make out with him).

He wants to be the one bickering with Rodney. He does not like it when he gives that much attention to someone else, no sir. By what we saw of their interaction earlier, it doesn't seem like McKay had been talking to Dr. Gaul very much if at all on the jumper, having been engaged in learning how to steer it and focusing on trying to trying to find that straight line.

Sheppard manages to do two things, here: he stakes a claim on Rodney and he attempts to reclaim some modicum of distance between them because back in the jumper, he had just completely forgotten why he had started doing that in the first place. Now, in his fatigues and with his hand on his weapon, he remembers again.

He cloaks the jumper and tells the others to remember where they "parked it". It's a very fatherly thing to do. Like they're a family on a vacation. But are we to understand him as a dad with three toddlers he has to watch out for, or..?

The other scientists certainly act like toddlers. They're basically doing the "Are we there yet?" routine, wondering why they had to park so far. They have clearly never been out on a mission before, so Sheppard explains mission protocol to them; that there's a reason that he does things the way he does. By this time, McKay already understand this. Sure, he also whines about having to walk such a long way, but it's more to connect with Sheppard and to show the others that the two of them are on the same team: "Don't worry, Brendan. We weren't all built for fieldwork. Seriously, we're almost there, right?"

Yes, he's kind of tired because he isn't built for fieldwork (and Sheppard knew this perfectly well when he chose him for his team; and we have seen McKay try to learn how to work on the field). But he's also kidding, again trying to get close to Sheppard by pointing out that he has a special connection to the Major where Sheppard tries to keep a distance (emotionally, but he's also walking real close to Sheppard).

They happen across the planet's indigenous life, the shiny space bugs (and tell me Rodney's first instinct here isn't to grab Sheppard's arm), and have the following exchange:

McKay: Oh, what's that? Gaul: Is it a bug? Sheppard: A space bug. Abrams: It's giving off a pretty strong life-signs reading. McKay: OK, did I mention how allergic I was to bee stings? Sheppard: Maybe he smells the food. Gaul: Maybe he's just smelling the girlish fear.

Dude. Dude.

What Dr. Gaul says is not just offensive but a really stupid thing to say on an alien planet in a whole other galaxy. You have no idea what that thing is or what it's capable of. Dr. Gaul clearly never left the lab before. Not only is Rodney McKay braver than he could ever fathom, this man was just afraid of knowing the jumper was moving. Of motion.

Note also that where previously we have seen Sheppard exhibiting many classic signs of attraction, here we get one from McKay: wanting to share personal things, personal information. Over the seasons, we learn mostly through Sheppard bringing these factoids up that he has done this quite a lot. In Spoils of War (S04E12), we witness how Sheppard has both received and retained a lot of this kind of personal information about McKay (remembering details pertaining to someone? Also a sign of attraction), how he feels comfortable sharing what amount to rather embarrassing stories with the Major:

McKay: Don't worry, I've got an excellent sense of direction. Sheppard: Didn't you say you got lost in a garden maze once? McKay: I was ten. Plus, I was running from a bee.

This is really rather important, because this is juxtaposed to what takes place between McKay and Keller in Brain Storm (S05E16), when we are to understand that their relationship is starting to bud. McKay tells Keller: "When I was ten I ate a bowlful of strawberries and threw up. Haven't been able to stomach them since." We are explicitly shown that this is something he does when he is intending to bond with someone romantically. We've seen McKay overshare things about his childhood, as with Sam Carter in SG-1, with him literally telling us that he's doing it to bond with her. Only, he does this with Sheppard a lot. And unlike other characters, Sheppard not only remembers these things later but also returns to them, brings them up again and again to reinforce the bond between them.

It's really quite beautiful how here, Sheppard not only doesn't react to Dr. Gaul's words at all (which probably had the intended purpose of masculine bonding with the Major by picking on Rodney), but he actually soothes McKay's concern. Twice. First, he suggests that the bugs aren't out to get them but just smell the food, and then he uses a really gentle voice, smiles at Rodney and (seemingly punning) says "Well, let's leave it be(e) and it'll leave us be."

Not only is he not ridiculing McKay, he's showing that he's genuinely there for him, both against the space bugs and ignorant lab-rats who clearly don't realize what a hero Rodney really is for him (or what fear is. He knows what fear is).

(Also, returning to Hide and Seek, S01E03, where Sheppard himself calls fear unmanly; we later learn that that's his father talking; the part of his father he has internalized and that Rodney has actually unwittingly helped him combat from the start by showing him that fear and bravery aren't mutually exclusive).

Sheppard and McKay are a team. We see it later in the episode, but already here: they make each other stronger, and help each other overcome their weaknesses.

And Sheppard was never going to join in on mocking McKay.

In the jumper, it was he that actually sought out Rodney to mock Dr. Gaul and his unsuitability for fieldwork, reinforcing the bond between them. And I have to emphasize again how gentle he sounds here. He cares about Rodney and has no reason to pretend otherwise here because he neither cares nor values the opinion of these people. If anything, being able to stand strong for Rodney (for a change!) just makes him feel a sense of pride, being able to be useful to him brings him closer to Rodney.

Continued in Pt. 3

[borzoilover69]

> BORZOI: READ HOMESTUCK LIKE ITS 2011 (PART 4)

(4225) Oh yeah it's all coming together now. This panel fucks so hard.

Jakeroxy is probably one of my fave relationships to think about they're so silly together! They have a really great relationship full of whimsy. They call out each others good points are generally incredibly supportive of each other, and they just feel like they click so easily together.

I could muse it comes down to their both shared aspect of void. While hope rings true in Jakes story, clear as a fucking bell, I have reason to suspect his secondary aspect may be void, due to how reluctant he is to open up to others, his ability to distance and generally keep off radar, and his own ignorance, not to mention his literal sort of secondary awareness he has for larger things hidden in the dark. Like seriously, where is he getting this information? Yet his own ignorance gets the better of him most times, leaving him paralyzed. This stirs up rage in others, his inverse.

As for how I approach classpects, well I like to see them sort of like a triad. Humans are multifaceted with multiple problems, so you should read up on your classpects. I started with Dana, and while I agree with some points, i don't really agree with all points, however Opacificas Classpect Meta is two essays that are a must read for any classpector.

Back to the point of the triad. You have your main classpect, which defines you and your main problem / struggle. You should carry to some extent of course traits of your inverse aspect. As a Prince of Void, I naturally ghost and carry traits of light, of extrapolating at length while I destroy void. I'm insightful and observant, yet more often than not I struggle with ignorance. My secondary is a Knight of Blood, due to how well I work with interpersonal relationships among others, pointing out what people are ignorant of helps me gain more knowledge of them as they toss their woes into the void that I naturally present. My bonds are strong however my natural gravitation towards void, towards being unknowable, etc, makes it difficult. My ignorance has been my downside on multiple occasions and while i've had difficulty with blood (hence why its secondary) my primary link is void.

So to sum up. Your main classpect should ring true to your main struggle and how you approach it, but also some of the inverse. They're two sides of the same coin after all. Class is your head, and how you use it. Aspect is your core, and what your nature is. Your secondary classpect is also necessary to help shit process. I don't know, you come up with a better allegory.

Maybe it'd help with how I classpected my boyfriend? I started off with looking at this post with a list of classes and aspects, and I listed off which felt like they fitted for my boyfriend:

Classes:

Witch

Thief

Mage

Aspect:

Doom

Space

Time

Heart

Having that, I started looking at classpects. Tossing at the walland seeing what would fit. But see that post I mentioned earlier doesn't really cut it. My boyfriend, personality wise according to that post, acts very much like a thief but he's not a thief at all, so we can cross that off the list. Thieves are about relocation which he certainly didn't do.

Then I took a look at aspects. If you're doing it right, go read these. Having read them, I figured out it was less problems with self and more about what needs to be done, and he wasn't as martyr like or acceptant of Doom as doom players often are, which left me with Space and Time. My boyfriend is very talented with the arts, and struggles with the same immaterial things space players do, but his mindset leant to time. I won't go into too much detail on it there, but like I said, take a read of Opacifica. Those essays are godsends. At the end of it we realised he was a knight of time. And oh boy was there a reaction.

Look NOTHING against davekat BUT WE ARE NOT DAVEKAT WE CANT DO THIS. (Hence my posts yesterday about it being so, so unbelievably over). But the shoe fit and it wouldn't come off.

So anyways final tip on classpecting, is if you have an alt account where you vent, go look at what you vent about. Or ask your friends for the reoccurring theme that your vents usually spiral into. Those help. But god I got offtopic, back to homestuck

Jake you speaking facts boy. Also is it just me or is the new Apple AR glasses reminding me of something.. I mean slap in some flashing colours on that puppy and you'd be set.

</3 :(

The frustration that sits in JaneRoxy is so often overlooked. Like shit man...it's a frustration that's so deeply rooted that it only comes out when she's drunk. I think realistically it'd come out at some point, perhaps at a party when they're older. Roxy getting upset that Jane didn't believe her, didn't see her as important as Roxy saw her. Accusing her of being unable to change. One that Jane will have to apologise over and over and even then it won't be fixed entirely. There is such tragedy and adversity that the Alpha kids have to tackle to keep their bonds strong.

Here's Jake being Jake. Just snaps right to the fucking chase! Well aware buddy! Most of his hesitant guesses and assumptions are usually facts that ring true and it's later in the story that they become more muddled but his assumption it's true never CHANGES and AUGH.

And then there's Roxy, with that subtle passive aggression that the alpha kids just HAVE going for them and facepalming as they type it out with gritted teeth. Roxy wants to be in something!! So sick of being relegated to the side to cling on.

4227

Boy watch out boy.

4228 I knew that panel looked familiar! Awesome! Except the thing is a million times BIGGER. Haha thats so awesome!

4230

You do the thing where you fly through the air shooting two guns at once. That thing isn't even that big of a deal for you. You do that thing practically every day on hellmurder island.

Jake English you are so admirable leaping out to shoot at a big monster I LOVE YOU.

4232

JAKE WATCH OUT- OH NO FUCK!!!! JAKE YOU HSOT TINKERBULL! YEAARGH!! AGGH! Haha the way he says AH HA. GOT YOU YOU SON OF A, SHIT, WAIT. is so funny.

4234

I really wanna redraw Jake panels later hes so endearing in all of them. (excepting a few..) Darling dearest.

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THIS SHMUCK LETS CHECK ON JANE!

4242

This could be some primary body horror if I was good enough for it.

MY BROTHER IN CHRIST YOU JUST WATCHED HIM CRAWL OUT OF YOUR DEAD POPPOPS NECK HOLE AND YOU RESPOND BY CALLING HIM A TROUBLE MAKER?

4247

Majestic. Spectacular. Superb.

4249 spectacular. magnificent. Spiffy. spectacular.

4253

Jake is so small compared to so much life that is happening on the island good fucking GRIEF. And he doesn't even break a sweat he's just like "Ah botherations! Shit."

I'm out of images again. Welp.

[blackjackkent]

OK, I think I can finish up Rakha's Underdark adventures tonight and get ready to roll into Act 2 with her, which is exciting.

It's funny, bc I felt like I was moving MUCH slower with her than I did with Hector in the early bits of the game, but now the second half of Act 1 feels like it's speeding by. (Mostly this is because I know where everything is now, for the most part, so there are fewer posts of me exploring and looting random boxes. XD )

Quick chats with all the gnomes we rescued, sort of in passing by virtue of killing Nere. They're very grateful and try to offer rewards to Rakha, and also LOOK WHO'S HERE!

HI BARCUS!

"Make it quick! We need to find Wulbren, now!"

"You're a little late, Barcus my lad. He's already been sent to Moonrise Towers. We were just slave-hands to the cult, but not Wulbren. He... knows things. Things they want to know too."

"What has he gotten himself mixed up in now..."

Rakha has already met Barcus once, and it's actually a relatively positive memory for her; it was one of the earliest points where she ended up turning her violent instincts in a purposeful direction to help someone (although she wasn't really thinking clearly about it like that at the time yet).

Barcus himself she was mostly perplexed by, but he didn't irritate her. And she does remember him talking about looking for his friend Wulbren in the Underdark, so none of this is particularly a surprise.

She is curious about Beldron's description of Wulbren as a leader with special knowledge, though, which leads to what might be one of the most specifically Rakha-ish dialogue options we've had so far:

[INTIMIDATION] "I also like to know things. Start talking."

"You'll call me mad," Beldron says fretfully. "But... fine. Wulbren's found the formula for runepowder."

"What?" yelps Barcus.

"Aye. The explosive of Gaerdal Ironhand's own creation. Fistfuls wiping out armies, all those old stories. Only Wulbren couldn't leave the stories be, so he went and bloody found it. A small supply, tucked away down here with a manuscript. He'd just made sense of the formula when the cult jumped us, so he burned the damn thing. If there's a single copy left, it's sitting in his head. Those Absolutists pull it out and make runepowder... they could flatten the whole of the Sword Coast."

Ah. This explains the woman with the cask of powder up at the top of the ruins - and why she was so loathe to give up her prize. This Wulbren is clearly highly intelligent, and his dangerous knowledge is in the cult's hands.

Rakha already intends on destroying the cult for her own personal reasons, but now she can add "not blowing up" to them. (And saving Wulbren, perhaps, should the occasion present.)

"How long do you think he can hold out?" she asks bluntly.

"Not long enough," Beldron says gravely. "My people can barely stand, and we have business back in the city. That business is whawt sent us after the powder to begin with. Now we'll have to make other arrangements."

Barcus's eyes widen in alarm. "And just like that, you'd leave Wulbren behind? I knew you lot were foolish, but I didn't know you were cruel!"

Beldron smirks, and it's not a kind expression. "If you knew half as much as you think, my lad, Wulbren might have kept you around."

There is some interpersonal undercurrent happening in this conversation, and Rakha frankly could not care less about it - although she does notice the way Barcus's head snaps back as if the words were a punch.

"Run away, then," she says with a faint shrug. "I have my own business to be about."

Beldron nods, all business now. "My people will find somewhere to regroup across the lake," he says. "Then on to the city. If you find yourself in Baldur's Gate, seek us out. We'll raise a glass to Wulbren together."

Rakha has considerable doubt that that will be a top priority for her any time soon, so she just shrugs.

-----

Barcus, to his credit, makes an effort to smile and shake off the conversation as Beldron walks away, and looks up at Rakha with visible admiration. "Well," he says brightly. "You did it! I shouldn't be surprised, considering our history. And yet..."

Rakha finds that she is far more unsettled by that admiration than by almost anything else that has happened in this place.

"I did," she says uneasily. "But not out of the kindness of my heart." I don't know how to do that...

Barcus blinks; apparently he interprets this as a request for coin rather than a self-deprecating comment on Rakha's interpersonal skills. "I have no coin," he says good-humoredly, "but the foreman will be happy to provide."

He lets out a heavy breath and absently toes his boot against the cracked stonework. "As you know, some of the Ironhand gnomes - my friend Wulbren among them - have been taken prisoner in Moonrise Towers. They're not even going after him. I wish I were surprised," he mutters. A pause, and then he squares his shoulders deliberately. "And so... to Moonrise Towers I go."

He's brave, this little one. She'll say that for him. His loyalty to this Wulbren reminds her of that which she has slowly cultivated for her companions.

He's also kind to her without cause - which gives her complicated feelings. Wyll is like that - but so was Ethel.

"I believe I'm destined for the Towers as well," she says noncommittally. "I'll look for your friends." Especially if their presence means we might all explode.

Barcus lifts his chin and narrows his eyes intently. "Friend. Singular," he says firmly. "I'm looking for Wulbren. If anyone else should be incidentally helped, then bully for them."

To everyone's astonishment - not least Rakha's herself - she suddenly grins harshly. Yes. He does think like her indeed - because she might have said the same, had one of her companions been taken by the cult.

She offers him a place at their camp, since he's going the same way, which is surprising as well. On some level, perhaps, she didn't expect him to accept.

[joyboythehopepunk]

You Will Believe a Man Can Lie

As some of you may know, I'm trans.

I know there are some people who wear it on their sleeve. I don't.

I'm not ashamed. It just isn't peoples' business. Just like my sexuality isn't. Though I am more vocal about that.

Telling people I'm trans has always resulted in.. a change of the vibe. I can sense it. Even if I don't tell them and they find out through other means.. I can tell people look at me different.

There is so much more to me than the fact I'm AFAB. Like to me, it as if I'm an alien man from another planet. And on that planet the men have vaginas. That's it.

In my interpersonal relationships, people all seem to expect the same sort of things from me. Basically a "flawless" man. I'm a man on a spiritual path. I am not "flawless". How could you learn if you never made mistakes? If you knew everything - whether about right and wrong or about the cosmos? How would you return to Spirit better than when you left?

I don't know. I want to know how to become enlightened - how to unlock abilities that sages of the past have. If for no other reason to help myself and others find a way out of this. That is who I am down to my core. That is why I am really weird. Not my mannerisms, not my physical characteristics, not my trauma.

I'm a mortal seeking godlike powers.

This post was spurred on by post someone else made about Clark Kent lying to Lois about who he is. About being an alien from another planet with super powers. For reasons you may be able to comprehend, I was empathetic.

Imagine walking up to everyone you meet and telling them something personal about yourself. Something you would rather keep secret, if for no other reasons than : 1. it would endanger your life. 2. at the very least it would inconvenience you with an onslaught of questions, or a change in treatment (which may be bigoted).

People assume all sorts of things about people just based on appearances. I can only imagine the idiocy their minds come up with when faced with something they don't understand - whether about themselves or others.

"People can only meet you as far as they've met themselves" I'm seeing truth in that statement more and more as I get older, as I evolve, as I get closer to my goal.

But I probably will never stop getting angry. I may never be rid of all my pain. I may continue to be incomprehensible to humans and unsuitable to this society.

I would rather be myself. I love and understand myself in a way I have seen in very few others. I would rather be myself because I am here for a reason. I have been shown that time and again. I am blessed in that knowledge.

To end: I think some evils are necessary. Lying is sometimes necessary. As is the violence of consuming other living things. If only because the nature of our world is such that we cannot live without lies. Because there are people who would use the truth to destroy us. Just because they hate what we are - not even that we are doing anything wrong.

Just like Clark Kent/Superman is just a being with super powers who happens to be an alien. He's doing good. He's such a good guy. Yet look how people treat him because they don't understand.

I definitely endorse watching MAWS. :)

[elliepassmore]

Terrier review

5/5 stars Recommended if you like: fantasy, epistolary narrative, mystery, adventure It's been a while since I've done a full read through of this series, I forgot how much I liked it! Usually I only read the third book, Mastiff, since it's my favorite, but I'm glad I decided to read the whole trilogy this time. Beka is someone with justice in the blood. As a child she successfully brought down a crime ring and brought her family good fortune. As an adult (teen), she's ready to join the Dogs and protect the people of the Lower City. She knows that she's officially new to this world, but part of her is still a little arrogant that she'll immediately be the best. I liked seeing these two things side-by-side because Beka respects the law and the process of becoming a full Dog, but at the same time we still get a hint of that teenage confidence. She does become more aware and more careful over the course of the book, but it happened gradually and felt realistic. Her main feature, though, is her relentless desire for justice and willingness to pursue it. Having grown up in the slums, Beka knows better than most how often the people living there are ignored, and one of her goals is to do better. This shows up in how Beka is willing to follow a story everyone else dismissed, chase down leads in her spare time, and recruit her friends, both Dog and not, to try and figure out what's going on. Since I'm used to reading the third book, where Beka's well-established, it was interesting to read about the bits of magic she uses to help her solve her cases. She isn't a mage, but she can hear the talk of dust spinners and the dead, both of which can be useful. One thing that struck me is that Beka started training on this with her grandmother when she was fairly young, but doesn't seem to have a ton of knowledge or control over this magic. I'd expect after 8 years for her to have figured a little bit more out, but part of this could be because Beka does explore her magic a little bit over the course of the trilogy, so it wouldn't make sense for her to know everything coming in. I enjoy the side characters in this book as well. It was good to see Goodwin, one of Beka's training agents, again and I'd forgotten how snarky she can be. Goodwin is very no-nonsense and has a sense of tough love, but she also provides guidance and compliments when warranted. Tunstall is more mild-mannered than when he's older and is happy to have Beka along. The two of them quickly strike up a nice camaraderie. Ersken is a friend from training and the two of them commiserate over the tribulations of being new Dogs. He's also more than willing to help Beka on her case and is a good shoulder to lean on. On the less legal side, Rosto comes in pretty early on and it was interesting to see how things developed there, both interpersonally and on a grander scale. He's got a good eye on the criminal element and is able to use that to his advantage to move through the ranks, but at the same time he respects Beka's position and keeps a mderate stance when she's around. Kora, a mage friend of Rosto's, and Aniki, another one of Rosto's friends, become quick friends with Beka as well. The three of them are good companions to one another and I liked seeing them help each other out. There are two mysteries in this book: murder and kidnapping. The murders were of primary importance to the Dogs, who gradually escalated the investigation until there were multiple teams working on it. While I understand why the murder was the most important to them, it was the kidnapping that was close to Beka's heart and the mystery that I too thought was more important. I vaguely remembered the resolution from the mysteries from when I read it years ago, so it wasn't too surprising, but I think the setup is done well and could provide a nice twist. Overall, I really enjoyed my reread of this book and getting to know young Beka again. The two mysteries were also well done and I enjoyed following along with the cast to figure out who did it/them.

[the-lincyclopedia]

I did basically nothing but homework from age 10 to age 21. Sometimes I feel guilty and, like, frivolous for dealing with serious burnout in my twenties, but I'd already been on the grind for over a decade at that point! And like, I don't think there's any age where people can safely and sustainably work with virtually no breaks, but I think that's especially hard on kids who are 10-14, you know?

My family was just talking tonight about a vacation we took when my mom had a conference in California when I was in fifth grade. You know what I remember about that trip? I missed two days of school for it and had SO MUCH makeup work that I had to pack almost my entire desk, plus a volume of our encyclopedia, into my backpack, and the zipper split from how overfull it was.

I know that I was an unusually conscientious kid with an unusually slow processing speed, and going to a special gifted and talented school for first through eighth grades probably wasn't helpful when it came to my workload. I know it wasn't THIS dramatic for a lot of my peers. But it was pretty damn bad for a lot of us.

I remember getting kicked out of a gift shop with my friends for reading books we weren't planning on buying, because the owner was worried we'd break the spines of the books and she wouldn't be able to sell them.

I spent my 21st birthday doing homework by myself while my then-girlfriend debated whether to break up with me. To my ex's credit, she did give me a cocktail when I stopped by her room, and I sipped it slowly while working on math. But like, it was very much not a birthday for the ages.

I remember truly feeling like a teenager maybe twice in my teens. The first time was the summer before high school started, when my friends and I got a little loud and rowdy at a public pool. The second time was during the last week of senior year, when we had the only outdoor lunch of my high school career, which happened to coincide with the end of a lot of intense interpersonal conflict in my friend group, meaning that we ate hotdogs on the football field in the bright sunlight without fighting or tension for once. Those are my two "Oh, this is what teen movies are about" moments.

In between, during the whole of high school, I felt like I was trying to do things that only grownups should have to do, without the knowledge, experience, authority, or freedom that come with being a grownup. Both the workload and the dynamics in my romantic relationship felt way beyond what a teenager should have to worry about--and that's because they were.

I think part of dealing with this is that we need to take teenagers seriously. It's a really hard time of life that society has made harder recently in a whole lot of ways, and a lot of adults both a) don't understand those societal factors and b) look back on their own adolescence with rose-colored glasses. We need to knock it off and acknowledge that the teenagers in our midst are going through some shit.

Maybe this is the wrong platform to pose this question given the average tumblr user but

Is it just me or did our generation (those of is who are currently 20-30 ish) just not get the opportunity to be young in the 'standard' sense?

Like, everyone I talk to who's over 40 has all their wild stories about their teens and 20s, being young and dumb, and then I talk to my friends and coworkers and classmates, and we just... dont.

[opheliaacomplex]

Ophelia's bit too Personal Movie Review #2 "Smile 2"

Hey I'm Ophelia and at the time of writing this it is 12:40am. Today's been...a day. Therapy, Job Interview, Interpersonal shit, Pathfinder at the local game store, everything's wiped me out fully and thoroughly. But that won't stop this tired ass pool toy because I'm dedicated to trying to pump these out weekly for the void and my few beautiful moots who bother to read this!

Synopsis:

The movie starts off with a little prologue with MY MAN KYLE GALLNER! He plays a returning character from the first Smile, but honestly it's short and largely just sets up the traumatic catalyst for our main character, Skye Riley, played by Naomi Scott. Skye is a famous pop-star struggling with both addiction issues and the physical recovery after a traumatic car accident which killed her boyfriend. Flanked by an overbearing mother, who's also her manager, and an ever boot licking aide, Skye is very clearly drowning in stress that no one really seems to care about. After suffering back pain as a result of the car crash, she seeks out her local dealer Lewis, played by Lukas Gage, for some Vicodin. (Is that a House MD reference???)

Lewis is one of the viewers of the indecent that occurred in the prologue and is unwittingly host to "Lollipop" or the smile demon. For those in the audience who have no idea what I'm blabbing about, the whole premise of Smile is a monstrous metaphor for trauma and it's cycles. You bear witness to a tragedy, Lollipop posses you, makes you go insane, then forces you to kill yourself in front of others to then traumatize them. I'll address how well this works in the movie in the writing section, but for now let's get back to the story. Lewis is clearly coked up and rants and raves and while most of the audience has meta-knowledge about what's happening, Skye...does not, lol. Lewis gets fully possessed by Lollipop and proceeds to bash his head in with a heavy bench press weight, thus passing it on.

Skye, for the next hour and a half or so, slowly but surely starts losing it under the mounting pressure of an upcoming concert tour. Hallucinating deranged fans, past friends, and even sometimes whole locales as she gets dragged deeper and deeper into her own trauma. I think it's important to also note that just like the previous protagonist in the original, Skye refuses or otherwise gets 0 help for her issues throughout the story. In fact, when help is forced upon her, she murders her mom and proceeds to go through a joyride through the city towards Staten Island where a supposed solution waits. Just as she's about to lay down and go with the procedure that'd purge the cancerous trauma demon thing out of her, she's attacked and turns out...?

It's all been one long delusion. The care hospital she was forced into, murdering her mother with a glass shard, going through a joyride to Staten Island, thinking she reconnected with an old friend she toxicly pushed away, even that there was a cure at all. All of it torture sent out by the demon for its own sick amusement. To see her climb her way to hope and be dragged back down to the pits of despair.

With just a touch, the demon lets Skye face the reality of the situation as she's pushed back into the real and comes to face that her big performance is now. And hundreds of thousands of fans get to watch live as their idol succumbs to the trauma demon and in a pretty gnarly scene we get to see the audience's reaction as Skye caves her own skull in with the mic all while a smile is plastered on her face.

Vibes:

This movie vibes wise isn't anything overly special if I'm being honest. There are a few neat shots that take the camera upside down, but those are very much few and far between. Instead, what I DO want to include here since the movie isn't all that unique, I want to take a minute to absolutely fucking adore the puppetry used within the film's final scene. They wisely use the demon's true form sparingly, but GOOD LORD does it come together when it's shown in its visceral glory. From what I've read, all the gore in the film is a mixture of mostly practical effects and touches of CGI when needed, and honestly that's my sweet spot when it comes to gore. One could even call it a... G-spot. Puppetry is unfortunately a dying art, and it's nice to see it used, even if it's used in so-so horror movies.

Characters and Writing:

Addressing the element elephant in the room here: this movie is about trauma and the cyclical nature of it. I'll get more into how that's personally related to me in a bit, but just sticking to the movie here, I think it's much better within the first movie. In the first Smile, the main character struggles with confronting her childhood abuse and tries to run away from it all. In the end, she doesn't escape from her demons, and she lets it consume her in a fiery blaze. It's a heart-wrenching realization to see this character we've come to care for not win, and puts the trope of the final girl on it's head. But when it comes to Smile 2 we just...don't have that same impact. It's not that Skye is unlikeable, but there's a general lack of impact that her character has. She's a multi-million dollar pop-star who's experiences with the trauma demon don't seem to affect her life that much beyond the obvious. Maybe hindsight is 20/20, but I really just wish something was done about Skye's writing. There were mentions of drug abuse in Skye's past, but they come up sparingly. There could've been scenes where to try and cope she used drugs and that only makes her demon-induced delusions even worse. Overall, it feels more like it's made to cash on the success of Smile 1 and less so to comment on anything like the first attempted to do. It also doesn't help that it takes like roughly 40 minutes into the movie to get into any sort of real scary meat.

Bit Too Personal Bits:

Just for a bit of preface, these bits are my attempt at maybe diversifying my reviews and make them more interesting to read for moots and whoever stumbles upon them. Now, like I mentioned above, Smile 1 and 2 are all about dealing with trauma and trying to move on and break the cycle. It's still something I'm getting used to publicly talking about, but I am a CSA survivor and the trauma from it has paved a lot of my life. There's been times when I so desperately wanted to give up because my own demons seemed insurmountable. I didn't give up, which is obvious because I'm posting this, lol, but Skye's own reason for pushing people away and burning bridges felt very familiar. Both Skye and I (just sometimes now with therapy and meds) feel like there's a toxic wickedness in our very souls. Noise and static in our heads that constantly buzz. Sometimes It genuinely feels being by ourselves is the only way we could truly attain peace, or at least semblance of it. There's a specific tarot card I like called The Tower. It talks about serenity and truth after the worst things happening. Both main characters in both movies purposely self-destruct because there's just a certain stillness when everything's ruined and crumbling. A stillness that's so easy to lay down in and sleep in.

Rating:

Smile 2 is not the greatest movie around. It's not terrible, but it's not great. It's a perfectly average sandwich with plain white bread. Furthermore, it could've been a good successor to the original Smile which also isn't the greatest film around, but it failed on, IMO, delivering a good story about trauma and what it does to someone.

I'm giving it 5 Smiles out of 10!

[bellagentesblog]

Exploring the World of Digital Media

Hey there, fellow nerds that like exploring digital media! I'm Barbara Bellagente, and I hope you'll all stick around for some digital media-related posts and discussions on my blog. Although I have been in close proximity to technology since I was a little girl, I was unaware of the profound impact it would have on the way we view the world. Digital media is an integral part of our daily lives in today's digitally developed culture. It lets us stay in touch with loved ones through social media whilst watching our favorite TV shows on services like Netflix, Hulu, and Disney Plus. 

In my opinion, anything that can be played on a computer, seen on a phone, or sent via email is considered digital media. Everyone is immersed in digital media and everything it has to offer, whether they like it or not. However, whenever I hear the word "digital media," my mind goes straight to social media, which completely transformed the global information exchange scene. Social media platforms changed the way interpersonal communication is done and helped promote the creation of content, both of which are essential in today's digital age. The fact that social media platforms facilitate the easy sharing images, videos and even texts is what really stands out to me; because in turn, it all encourages more individuals to become engaged participants in the broad digital world.

Although seeing the growth of the digital media industry is exciting, it can also be overwhelming in a way. As with any new concept, more questions will emerge as you learn more about digital media. For example, does the growing volume of internet material have a negative effect on authenticity? How accurate is the information being communicated? What is the influence of using digital media on privacy and the security of personal data in relation to social matters? Has digital media had an overall beneficial impact? What moral dilemmas emerge when artificial intelligence is used in the production and dissemination of digital media?

Given the expansive and ever-changing definition of "digital media" over time, it is crucial to focus on gaining basic information in the face of many questions. Using reliable websites is essential for gaining further knowledge on these subjects. The Electronic Privacy Information Center is a very reliable and comprehensive resource for obtaining information regarding privacy concerns pertaining to user safety in online platforms. If you have a curious nature and a strong interest in delving into the complexities of the digital media domain Indeed has released an enlightening essay that elucidates the importance of digital media, supported by a wide array of examples connected to vocations and talents in the field of digital media. Additionally, Maryville University has an extensive webpage that contains intricate details regarding various types of digital media and the main companies operating in the digital media sector.

[hlmowrer]

Weeks 34, 35, & 36: I'm alive I swear!!

Hey there.  Remember me?  I'm that one tall missionary guy that hasn't written you people a letter in a really long time.  My access to computers is pretty limited right now, and I've been quite busy.

The happy news is that it's been a pretty good kind of busy.  

The bad (or maybe good?) news for you is that there's absolutely no hope of me trying to cram the specifics into an email.

So I'll just say that once again, the Lord has given me exactly what was needed to continue.  Living in a house, especially one with other supportive missionaries, has been amazing.  Elder Walker and I help each other grow, and we both have a strong desire to improve ourselves.  Having additional elders in the house really helps grease the social wheels, and actually makes us more productive despite the extra risk of distraction.  It also just does my brain good to be able to look at the flowers out front and the tree lined street and feel normal for a minute.

In addition, we've genuinely made meaningful progress in our work.  Our work with nonmembers is slow, but gradually ramping up.  We've had several cool finding moments, and it's built our confidence.  We received one referral from Yipsilanti, a city on the other side of Michigan.  It was for a woman who has recently been released from prison, and has been researching the church and the Restored Gospel for 12 years!  Teaching her has been amazing, she's lovely, and we're very proud of her for all her progress. The holes in her knowledge are very random though, both in a theological context and in a general life knowledge context.  Imagine what it would be like to learn how to use a smartphone having not used one ever.  It's harder than you would expect.

Our member work has continued to be really positive too!  We've built really good relationships with multiple families that have withdrawn from the community for one reason or another and we're very happy to help them come back towards Jesus Christ in whatever way is going to work for them.  It's heartbreaking to see people be disconnected from the Savior because of interpersonal offenses or guilt or whatever it may be, and I'm so glad I get to be the one to remind them how loved they are.

This last weekend was the worldwide General Conference of the Church, which is always a blast.  During the conference we hear from speakers selected from church leadership on a variety of spiritual topics, and it's always an opportunity to answer personal questions and feel the spirit.  Many things that are extremely important for both me and people I care about were said, but one of the best moments of the entire conference came right at the end, as Russell Nelson (President of the Church) announced the location of a whopping 20 new temples to be built!  This is the second most temples announced at a single conference.  Many of the locations were very cool to hear, but of course my favorite site was Vancouver Washington, my hometown!  I shouted embarrassingly loudly as he announced that a house of the Lord would be coming to Vancouver.

For those of you that have not yet had the opportunity to visit a temple, I cannot effectively describe how incredible the experience can be.  The temple is the most peaceful and beautiful place you can be in this chaotic world, and the most precious experiences of my life have happened in temples.  To have one be built near my home is an incredible blessing, and the more people that have the opportunity to see, learn about, and enter a temple the brighter the world and its future will be.

I sure love you, dear friends.  I hope I can write to you all and hear from you more often moving forward.

-Elder Beren Mowrer

[absolxguardian]

Your reply really helped me figure out why so many people see the plot-line as pro-eugenics. With its history of being used for eugenics in scifi in general and Star Trek specifically, of course that's what people would have thought the show was saying. But since I only know the Eugenics War and Bashir's storyline from wiki reading and know a lot more about real world eugenics, when watching Ghosts of Illyria I went "well it doesn't seem like they use it to "cure" disabilities or create and over-class, so yeah it isn't eugenics. Very cool way to show how different species are going to have completely different histories with certain concepts." But the show absolutely failed by not sufficiently demonstrating this to people with more preconceived notions and less background knowledge. And the fact that there are people in favor of less violent eugenics in the real world present time would influence audiences to be more suspicious.

To start, I agree that trying to make the Illyrian's oppression analogous to real world oppression is not a good choice. It says either that humans are wrong for banning genetic modification in their own society or falls into the stupid trope of making fantasy racism historically justified by the racial underclass having been an actual threat in the past. I'm not entirely sure how to execute it in tv, but it should have been depicted as humans having these preconceived notions based on a valid reading of their own history and situation, but mistakenly applying to a people where it doesn't apply. People taking things associated with something bad and then using that to assess something else with related elements in a different situation doesn't happen on a macro level IRL, but it absolutely happens on an interpersonal level. Such as people being hostile to all religions because of their own trauma or the anti-masculinity bias present in a lot of queer community spaces, instead of judging each system and person on their own merits. It would show how just being a socialist utopia isn't a binary switch to make a culture "ready" to explore the galaxy without causing more problems.

The show should have also decided whether to commit to Illyrian genetic modification being something bad that happens to Illyrian children non-consenually but that they shouldn't be punished for, or something that is good and doesn't count as eugenics. And if they went with the latter, they should have had Una explicitly state the reasons why- which I inferred simply from lack of textual evidence. Heck, after thinking about this reply I realized the show could have gotten rid of the question of children's medical autonomy by making it so that Illyrians don't directly modify their children. The modifications are preformed on consenting adults, but to make it permanent, it includes germ-line modifications that causes the augments to be passed onto their children (the Illyrians never tried seeing if they could make the modifications not be inheritable because that would mean raising your kid on a planet where they can't go outside until they're an adult). The reason why Una counts as an Augment but La'an doesn't is because both of her parents are Augments, while La'an just has one Augmented ancestor. Saying that was a non-consensual genetic modification of a child brings you into "well I never consented to being born" territory.

Your idea about turning it around by introducing a disabled Illyrian is really good, and I'd love to see it. I think a hoverchair would make the most sense because Pike's future disability is the one that SNW has been the worst about. They could even make a point about assimilation to explain why Una didn't know to use these arguments in her trial.

what leaves me shocked about the position snw takes on eugenics is that all the writers had to do to have a perfectly competent and uncontroversial episode about refugees being faulted for the mistakes of their home nations was to just not have una defend what was done to her while still condemning the federation for refusing to take her in as someone fleeing what was done to her. the rest of the episode is perfectly fine, which is why most people watched it and didn’t think it was saying anything very terrible. even the stupid comparisons to slavery and apartheid, while corny and out of pocket, like, sure, i see where they’re coming from. legality does not mean ethical. but the writers of the episode either didn’t watch dr. bashir i presume or just resolved “we’re just gonna contrive a reason for eugenics to be justified and then it’s not so bad!” and well, you know, most people under that the freaks who feel comfortable putting their children through invasive procedures because they can’t accept their differences see it as justified.

[drdemonprince]

hey i know what im about to ask for advice for isnt ur experience but i thought its possible someone else in ur audience has had a similar one its just starting to get unbearable. im in my early 20s and an autistic lesbian. im almost done with college, have had good friends here, have had good friends online as well, but to my knowledge no one throughout my entire life has had even a crush on me. ive never kissed anyone, no one’s asked me out, even as a kid at recess or whatever. like sometimes i even wish a boy had paid attention to me in that way because maybe then it prove theres not something wrong with me. its just so isolating because literally everyone else in my life has at least been kissed or had a crush situation by the time they were my age. ive tried to talk on dating apps but i just have zero confidence about it because no one who has actually seen me or talked to me for more than a couple times has expressed interest. maybe im oblivious to it being autistic but like i would know if someone said something explicit you know? i feel like it wont ever happen. idk. i think it would help to know if people thought the same things about themselves and then something did happen for them. because it just feels like im the only person alive with this experience who actually wants these things to happen (like i know ace/aro people are out there, its just not me)

Thank you for your question. I'll share some of my thoughts, with the huge caveats that I have not lived this experience, and hopefully readers with more relevant perspectives could also weigh in.

I notice here that you describe yourself and your relationship to attraction in terms of things happening to you, or you receiving certain kinds of attention. You frame yourself throughout this as the possible passive recipient of attraction. But what about what you want? How often have you expressed desire to somebody? How frequently and in what ways have you initiated contact, told someone you were interested in them, or invited someone on a date?

You mention using dating sites and talking with people, but those conversations never turning into anything more. That seems to be a very common problem in the lesbian dating world. I think a lot of women do not feel confident and comfortable in expressing their desires outright and it seems to lead to a lot of grinding of gears and people assuming that nobody is interested in them when really all parties involved feel too shy and disempowered to use their words and directly ask for a date.

I understand that to be a very common thing for queer women, though admittedly it is difficult for me to wrap my mind around as someone who was telling people on OK Cupid that i wanted to meet up and fuck them that evening back when I was like 21 years old, and who moves through the realms of steamworks and grindr and the cell block bar dancefloor now. I've had many interpersonal problems but telling somebody directly that I wanted to bang or even to hang out has not historically been one of them, and I really wish I could just lend some of that hutzpah over to my lensbian siblings because I hear people grousing about how dry apps like Lex are all the time.

It seems pretty glib and unhelpful for me to say "just act more like a bluntly direct gay autistic man" and to say that would be to ignore that a lack of confidence and queer women skewing a bit passive are probably not the only factors you're dealing with. There might be biases working against you like fatphobia, racism, or ableism that incline fewer people to openly express desire for you, and that's a real problem that operates outside of you and that no amount of self love can eradicate, and I think it's validating and important to just acknowledge when the deck is stacked against people.

But there are lots of people out there who will want to date and fuck you, for sure, even if you are dealing with any of those injustices, and additionally, I doubt from your message that you're doing anything particularly weird or off putting in your messages with people on dating apps that's like driving anybody away. You mention that you have a lot of good friends and that things are otherwise going pretty decently for you in life, so it really doesn't seem to me like anything you are doing or bringing to the table is "wrong". And over the years I have known a great many lesbians and wlw who were very social, outgoing, fun to be around, cute, and a total romantic prize who just did not fuck or date until their late 20s or 30s or beyond, because of some of the social forces I already described (and again I encourage my lesbian followers to contribute to the conversation because I know it's not my lane and I might not be explaining the phenomenon correctly).

If you haven't, I would suggest showing your dating app profile and messages to some trusted friends (maybe some gay men as well as other queer women?) to get a variety of perspectives and some reassurance.

But I think, based on the admittedly limited information that I have here, that you just need to approach people more and more directly, and that slowly through that you will become more comfortable with initiation and rejection, as well as with seeing yourself as a sexual being with agency, rather than a passive receiver of others' interest.

Try telling people directly that they are cute, that you like them, that you want to be around them, that you'd like to kiss them, that you'd love to go see a movie with them or tie them up or finger blast them or that being near them makes you happy or horny or etc as the situation warrants. If you havent already that is!

[lunarticxenia]

The Sun Signs

Hi guys! So I decided to make a series. I’m going to do: each sign in each planet, each house placement for every planet, and the aspects for all the planets. This of course is going to be over the course of a month; it’s going to take a while to cover everything LMAO. I’m thinking of doing this and alternating between asteroids, “placements that make people ____”, and astrology observations. Without further ado, here’s my take on the sun signs based off of people I know: 

🪁 Aries: These people are go-getters and know what they want when they want it. I feel like a lot of people associate Aries with being extroverts because they’re a fire sign, but I know ALOT of Aries and 95% of them have been shy. It’s more of the Aries moons that I’ve noticed that have been more extroverted. However other aspects in your chart can determine this. They’re also extremely competitive and very hard workers. Every Aries I’ve ever met has worked their ass off, and they keep working their asses off until they perfect everything. Some negatives are that Aries people can be super dramatic as well, and don’t take other people’s advice. Even when they ask for it, if their mind is set on something, there’s no going back. 

🪁 Taurus: Boy oh boy, do these people just want to go on a 10 year vacation and not have to deal with anyone ever again. These people love the finer things in life; they most likely have a creative hobby or have a creative streak. They also love good food and they love a good nap. Now everyone says Tauruses are super chill, and honestly, it depends on other aspects in their chart. I’ve known super chill Tauruses and super chaotic Tauruses. I’ve noticed the chaotic Tauruses have a lot of Aries energy in their chart i.e. Aries Mercury and Aries Mars (no offense Aries). I’d say a downside of Tauruses is that they can be lazy because they love to relax (however this depends on other aspects) and they can be apathetic a lot. I’ve found that Tauruses can very much disconnect themselves from a situation when they have to, so they can keep calm and grounded. 

🪁 Gemini: These people are social and will talk for hours. I don’t mean this in a bad way. Even the more introverted Geminis, once you get to know them they will talk for days especially about things they’re passionate about. I think it’s a cute and endearing trait. A lot of people hate on Geminis, but I don’t get it. One of my best friends is a Gemini, and she’s the most genuine person I’ve ever met. In fact, most Geminis I’ve met have not been two-faced, at least from my experience. I think that Geminis are also very funny, every Gemini I’ve met has made me laugh my ass off. Every single one. They have a great sense of humor and a very engaging personality. You can see this with Gemini politicians, they’re very charismatic and know how to entertain a crowd. I’d say the more negative side of Gemini is that they can be very flighty about what they want and while they’re social, they’re not always the best communicators when it comes to interpersonal relationships. 

🪁 Cancer: I’ve found that Cancers are either extremely extroverted or extremely introverted; and this can change depending on their mood LMAO. I can speak from experience; I am a Cancer. Sometimes I feel like being social and talking; other times I hate people and I just don’t wanna deal with them. Cancers also always have a softness to them; even if they have a lot of fire energy. I don’t know how to describe it other than they just look like water itself. I’d say some obvious downsides of Cancer are that they can be extremely moody and they can be snippy. If you catch them in the wrong mood, they’ll snap at you. I’m guilty of this as well. 

🪁 Leo: Again, a lot of people don’t like Leos but I love them. The Leos I’ve met have not been self centered at all- in fact they’re the exact opposite. Perhaps it’s the underdeveloped Leo suns who are self-centered, but all the ones I’ve met have always put others before themselves. They’re not cocky at all. I’ve also found that Leos all have really nice hair; this is a stereotype that’s definitely true. I’ve never met a Leo with bad hair. I’ve also found that they’re super creative and even if they don’t have a creative hobby, they have a creative flair. They’re also REALLY funny. I feel like they’re definitely slept on in terms of funny placements. This is the sign that rules “performing” in a way, so of course they’re going to be entertaining. 

🪁 Virgo: My favorite sign. I love all the signs in their own way, but Virgo is my favorite. Every single Virgo I’ve met I’ve loved. I get along so well with them. Virgos are shit on for being critical but it’s because they know that the people in question can achieve so much. Virgos also save that critical energy for themselves and can tear themselves apart if they’re not perfect. These people are also always putting others before themselves and always try to help everyone. Remember the 6th house rules one’s sense of usefulness. They feel that if they’re not being useful in some way to people that they’re not good enough. I literally just want to hug every Virgo. Also they’re not boring at all. FOH. Virgos are literally so much fun. 

🪁 Libra: These people are just so likable. No matter what they do, you just tend to like them for some reason. They can adapt to any type of personality and they have a way of making everyone like them. This is why Libra suns tend to be popular; they’re very bubbly and sociable. Even if they’re not popular, they’re well-liked. However, this can be their downfall as well. They can be superficial and fake. They tend to flip flop in arguments alot, and they try to play on both sides which can create more tension between two people. Also, have you ever seen a Libra try to make a decision? LMAO. Love them though. 

🪁 Scorpio: Your eyes. Holy fuck. You can tell if someone is a Scorpio just by the gaze in their eyes. They stare into your fucking soul. Even if their eyes are a light color, there’s always a sense of mystery and darkness to them. Despite this sense of power they give off, once you get to know them they’re literally the biggest teddy bears. Literally just go up to one and talk to them, they’ll talk to you and be all nice and happy. I’ve noticed that Scorpios just don’t like to talk about their emotions or what goes on in their heads either. They like to look strong and they don’t show their vulnerable side to just anybody. This would be one of their downfalls. They have a hard time being vulnerable and letting people in. They look fierce, but they’re sweet and just want a hug. 

🪁 Sagittarius: The funniest people ever. I’ve never met a non-funny Sagittarius. I work with two of them and they have me in tears laughing. They’re also very smart and you can talk to them about anything. Even if they don’t get the best grades in school (which I rarely see, the Valedictorian and the Salutatorian were both Sagittariuses) they always have a base knowledge about everything. They’re also extremely chill and try not to take life too seriously. I’ve found that a downside of this placement is that they can be very flighty in love. They have a hard time settling down which can be difficult for someone who wants to date them. Sagittariuses crave independence and they’re usually not the relationship types. Also they have a hard time taking things seriously. 

🪁 Capricorns: My guilty pleasure. I’ve dated two of them and 75% of the people I’ve liked were Capricorn suns. I feel like people overlook the appeal of Capricorns. Scorpios are the “sexy” ones, but have you seen how attractive Capricorns can be? Remember, in Tarot, the Devil rules Capricorn, so they can be devilishly handsome or darkly beautiful. Even if they’re not the most attractive person in the room, they have an aura to them that’s intriguing. They speak softly and carry a big stick. They don’t have to impress anyone; they know that they’re powerful. I’d say some downsides to Capricorns are that they have a hard time expressing their emotions and they tend to shove them down; which can result in them exploding later on. They also have a tendency to be arrogant, and can dish it out, but they can’t take it. 

🪁 Aquariuses: My second guilty pleasure. I just love the Saturn energy, what can I say? Aquariuses are such lovable weirdos. I don’t know how else to describe them. Every single one I’ve met has been unique in some way and they don’t try to fit in either. They’re proud of being different. My boss is an Aquarius and I felt self conscious one day because I had a different color shirt on than everyone else and he told me “Why would you want to fit in when you could stand out?”. They’re those types of people. They’re also really funny as well, their minds just work so differently from everyone else. They’ll say the most outlandish things and you’ll die laughing. Some downsides? You could know them for years and you’ll just find out things about them. They don’t share things about themselves and it’s hard to get to know them. They also can be very emotionally cold. They don’t like emotions. 

🪁 Pisces: Softies. They’re literally soft teddy bears. No matter how big or tall or muscular they could get, you just look into their eyes and that softness is there. They’re really sweet and tend to be more introverted. They aren’t the types who go out of their way to talk to strangers at a party. They love comfort and they like to feel secure. They’re also very dreamy if that makes sense. They always look like they came out of a fantasy world. I’d say a major downside would be that they’re overly sensitive. They cannot take a joke. I remember I was telling my co worker who’s a Pisces about the negative traits of Pisces and one of them was lazy; and he got SO offended. He was like “I am NOT lazy.” LMAO. 

Also guys, as I’ve said, other things in your natal chart can affect these traits. For the next asteroid by the way, I’m between asteroid Bellona and Lilith. Which one would you guys want to see? I’ve been getting a lot of questions about those two. :) 

[seviinoxiel]

Pokémon Violet Complete Thoughts

I just finished the main story of Pokémon Violet and it is honestly the best experience I've ever had with Pokémon, at the very least storywise. This game probably is one of my favorite Pokémon stories, maybe even topping my love for DPPt and BW. Like it actually got me sheeding genuine tears to a fucking Ed Sheeran song.

Among the three stories presented to us at the start, I loved Starfall Street the most because it presented a more character-centric narrative, its main focus is on the tight relationships between Team Star and also Director Clavell's interpersonal struggle to find the best course of action for his students. However, the other two questlines were amazing still and offered nice setups and payoffs.

The Path of Legends had its own strong emotional core with Arven and his motivations to help out his beloved Pokémon while also giving glimpses on the narrative at large. Victory Road may be the typical progression of Pokémon games but it showcased to us the endearing designs and personalities of the gym leaders and the Pokémon League itself while also solidifying Nemona as one of my favorite rivals.

Heavy spoiler territory incoming!

All that is to say that all three of those paths were perfect setup for the final part of the main campaign. Hard spoilers from here on out so do turn back if you haven't finished the game yet.

Directly following from Path of Legends, the final story the game presents is the one surrounding the huge crater in the middle of the region and our good boy Miraidon. It also delves deeper into Arven's character and had us group up with all three main characters from the paths we did earlier. It was fun seeing Arven, Nemona, and Penny interacting with one another and it felt really rewarding getting to know them separately beforehand.

The core of this final story lies within Professor Turo, the absentee father of Arven who we first assumed to be simply too busy with his work. We find out that he has been dead for a long time and that the appearance of certain futuristic Pokémon and the Terastallization phenomena can be attributed to his work in Area Zero, the area within the crater. As it also turns out, the Turo that had been interacting with us the whole game was simply an AI. Arven confronting all of this knowledge about his dad and AI!Turo confronting his humanity made me so emotional it's unreal. Not to mention that the music during the final couple of battles was just amazing. Side note: AI!Turo also got really sexy when the original Turo's command override him.

Anyway, there was a lot of important lore tidbits dropped throughout our expedition in Area Zero, but the most important of them all are the subtle hints of Turo having a more insidious plan regarding the Time Machine and that the Terastallization phenomena was simply adapted from a mysterious creature they found at the very bottom of the crater. I'm sure this will be explored later in a DLC and I cannot wait for when that arrives because I am hooked.

You are now out of heavy spoiler territory!

In conclusion, I love this game. It may be one of the most technically horrible and unpolished games ever but it was nice that it still managed to carry itself through its story, at least for me. I hope more future Pokémon stories can be handled like this and also that future Pokémon games can be made with more time and care for its performance. The glitches can be funny sometimes but come on we got to fix this shit.