#this has been in my drafts for a bit and i just kinda cranked it out real quick rn lol
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Boy Hero
#my art#comic#this has been in my drafts for a bit and i just kinda cranked it out real quick rn lol#i love twisting and taking apart chosen one tropes hhnnggngngn
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FUCK. I WROTE PART NINE AND HAD IT ALL READY TO GO AND THEN MY KID GOT HER HANDS ON MY PHONE AND CLOSED THE APP. THANK LUCIFER I HAD THE FIRST HALF SAVED AS A DRAFT BUT STILL. OTL sending this separate because I was paranoid she'd do it again and I would have to write the second part a third time 😭 also realizing I forgot to put my sig at the bottom of Pt.9
..... Annnnd of course, after pressing send I remember that I forgot to rewrite the part where reader chokes Alastor when they cum. just shoot me holy motherfucking shit
At some point I'mma just make these into a full blown PWP fic. It seems like they get longer with each installment 🤣 (I'm sorry btw, I always feel kinda bad whenever I leave long messages in anyone's inbox 😫
AYEEEE WELL YA KNOW WHAT THEY SAY - GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE!! 😘❤️🔥
It's a fitting pet name Hunny Pun! You're the queen of puns and you're so so SO sweet like a Honey Bun! is that icing or Alastor's jizz on you??? ... im so sorry i'll see myself out again 😭 CAN'T FIND AND KISS ME IF I FIND AND KISS YOU FIRST BABES~! ❤️❤️❤️
I can't hold on to my anonymity anymore guys so I'mma be making Pt.10 my reveal post~ it's killing me that I can't leave rabid fangirl messages on your works like you all do here for me! I really did wanna wait until I got the Smutmus Holy Trinity complete or at least in the revision stages but just- GAH! I NEED YALL TO KNOW HOW AMAZING I THINK YOU ARE. Beautiful beautiful minds, inside and out i can't even-!
Seriously though, I can't even begin to express how grateful and happy I am to have met any of you! And there are no words in the English dictionary (or any at all really) that I could use to describe what I feel about how accepting and supportive you've been! I could NEVER thank yall enough for helping me to find the joy in writing again. I love all three of you so much and I'm honored to call you friends!! 🥺🥰💋
- ☄️❤️ Smut Santa
False Alarm for the Next Part!! And honestly, thank God, the vibe is still not charged HAH--
Oh no!!! I'm so sorry that happened to you!! I had a similar experience when writing my part 2 to my Nun! Alastor fic. Fun fact: had to re-write it 5 times because I kept forgetting to save it. ;;_;; hhhh my baby fever is so bad I'm crying, but man, KIDS! What a little stinker 🥹❤️
Also, my ask box is usually super empty? Like, you could LICK the floor with how neat and empty it is? I LOVE messages? Even better if they long like Alastor's girthy fucking co--
We--We were- when we??? ALASTOR GETS--??? MY HANDS AROUND HIS???
*Danny.Exe has experienced an Error*
*Rebooting*
OKAY IM BACK--
☄️❤️Anon... babycakes. At this rate I'm gonna do more than fucking kiss you. I think we're past that now. And if you keep calling me 'Hunny Pun', or similar pet names, I'm just gonna jump your bones--
Hug you!!!! I meant hug you!!!
It's Alastor's jizz. It's canon-- NO DONT LEAVE I NEED TO KNOW HOW I GOT IT ON MY FAAAAAAACE
GUYS CODE TREAT, CODE TREAT, THE ANON VEIL IS DROPPING!!! ITS DROPPING DHDHDJDHDJ-- You will never gain a mutual as fast as you will then I SWEAR
☄️❤️!!! Smut Santaaaaa! 🥹😭❤️ Your mind is a beautiful, smutty, enchanting place!!! Knowing that you've been religiously cranking this out, while also having a kiddo... Seriously, how do you do it??? If anyone deserves the praise rn, 🎵it's you??? It's you, ITS ALWAYS YOU!!🎵 ❤️❤️❤️
Don't push yourself too hard! Please? ❤️ I will treasure these rare, scrumptious little treats for as long as I have brain cells left ❤️ I will call you friend until you tell me to quit or I lose my voice for good. And even then, my lips will keep moving and repeating the same thing until I'm blue in the face. ❤️❤️❤️ you are such a sweet, sweet, soul, and I can feel your vibes, and they are so wholesome! I can't wait to meet the person or sexual fiend behind it all! I feel like I speak for us all, and not just the main 3, but EVERYONE: everyone who has read your posts love you to bits. And they love your work to bits. Best believe when you publish your first work, we'll be there. En masse. And we will be EAGERLY returning the love you surprised us with.
Thank you for all that you do. On this post in particular, you deserve a foot rub, a forehead kiss, and a hug that lifts and spins you off your feet! 💗💗💗
Have a blissful, best of days you can have, dear! You deserve it! 💗
#gah now im all mushy#i need to watch Howl's Moving Castle again#I NEED IT#☄️❤️ i said i love you like a million times let me know if that makes you uncomfy please? hahah;;;#MWUAH#☄️❤️anon#sweet post#smutmus#danny rambles#danny speaks
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Since I'm not working, and it's cold, I've been getting up, putting the dog outside and going back inside to crank some spare change out of my phone, and sometimes I'll work on my Beauty and the Beast fractured fairytale (friendly reminder, any interaction with that and I'll post more of the story) while I'm down there. I can't go up to my office with the dog outside or I will forget. It isn't dangerously cold yet, and even though my sister thinks this winter will be mild like recent winters, I don't want to get into a habit of forgetting him out there. Even if he is an Aussie/corgi.
Anyway, I've been having a really nice time. I sit down and scratch a pre-draft on some sticky notes and then, depending on how much longer the dog wants to be outside, I may or may not do some first draft writing, by hand, like the old fogey that I am. So by the nature of it being written on paper, I am eventually going to have to type it up.
Which now has me thinking about transcribing more Darger. I've spent so much of this year being seasonally depressed, but I haven't been low enough yet this year to go back to transcribing Darger. Lately, as we approach November, though, I've been having trouble with sleep. I don't want to sleep in the first place, resulting in me going to sleep later and either not sleeping enough, or ignoring my alarms, or taking a nap during the day.
I don't want to sleep all day, but no matter which of these options I choose, I'm tired. My b-vites aren't working. I think using THC to sleep is giving me a bit of a hangover (#justdepressionthings).
All this to say, I find my attention turning back to my transcription project. I am curious to see if Darger's writing ever gets any better or goes anywhere. At the same time, there was that time that my sister was like "I don't want to ever hear another thing about this story".
I invited her to beta Beauty and the Beast. I don't even know if it's something she'll want to read or enjoy reading.
I already can not fucking stand how cold it is outside. Probably because my bedroom is fucking frigid at night now. And the radiator (because this house is from the dark ages) is on. We can't keep the heat at eighty degrees in the hopes that the least insulated room in the house gets comfortable enough to sleep. I'm just going to have to try to get ahold of a heated blanket, maybe. It'll be cheaper than a bed tent, which I think would overall be the most effective option. This room is large, and I didn't have any opportunities to get any--well, really anything for my office or bedroom. Like, I got the wall hanging for the office, for sound absorption, but I didn't get a chance to pick up a futon or a chair or a bookshelf, something to give me a bit more of an opportunity to temperature control the side of the room that really matters: My bed. Where I sleep.
Anyway, that's kinda a little bit of what's at the top of my mind. I also have several calls to make about my healthcare, so I have to do that Monday. I'd like to just push through and get it all done.
Maybe I'll just transcribe a few pages a day. Just a couple, as a treat.
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Remains such a pain that my ability to write has trickled to less and less over time. I can’t find the words anymore. Can’t conceive of a plot or.. anything, really. But I want to write. But I’ve just got..nothing. No gas, no inspiration, no words. Not for long stretches of time do I have any, at least. Used to be I’d have ten thousand ideas, ten thousand little wips that I’d add a few sentences here or there, or crank out a rough draft and then tweak it over time, but it’s been silent.. my brain just sitting there, chewing cud. What I do have cannot be posted because it’s not finished, and what is preventing it from being finished is, again, a lack of the proper words to articulate the feelings. There is also the fact that I am just.. starkly aware I don’t know how anything works. How people work, how emotions work, so my desire to depict realistic interactions is held back by not knowing how people talk. I don’t know how characters would respond to certain stimuli, which is kind of part of the thing with fanfiction, to kinda write the characters. I’m not going to do OOC.
Also kind of sad because while I like to read dark and twisted things, I don’t have the aptitude to write it anymore. Again, bereft of that spark or that feeling, I just.. it’s not there. Not as frequently as it used to be. Teenage and early adulthood angst certainly fueled it, but now that I’ve mellowed out in recent years, I can scarcely draw up what it felt like.
Perhaps I have used up my well of self-made creativity and the only means of continuing forth is to latch onto other styles and emulate them. Of course I emulated styles in the past, but never so desperately and nakedly. They were vague inspiration, not crutches, but now if I don’t have a certain author in mind when I write, I can’t write. I understand nothing is unique, but you’d think I’d have a bit more originality in me after years of writing fanfic instead of falling back to essentially this “literary” form of “tracing” and “copying” that all novice artists start out doing when honing their skills. Regression, in other words. Stalemate. Maybe I’m delusional. I wish I produced more, is all. The more you have, the more you can cut up and turn into *something*.
Also there’s the matter of me not being able to write a sex scene from start to finish. I can do the foreplay and the climax and the aftermath, but the “rising action” eludes me for some reason. I am so paranoid that it will be read aloud by someone as a joke that I shove my nose against the proverbial desk and painstakingly etch out each word to make it as meaningful and as replete of cliches as possible, but there is only so much you can do, and of course people will always have a better way with words. But I don’t want to steal them.
So my only recourse is to ape other peoples’ styles and write a concept based on those styles. It’s pathetic and I very, very much despise that I’ve devolved into a living Xerox machine with a malfunctioning incomplete thesaurus, but I guess it’s my lot in life now.
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Omg I love all your drabbles they are so amazing and brilliant I can’t believe you do that for free! What a blessing you are!! I was wondering whether there would be a part four to the vacation au and if not could you do maybe more jealous Cassian but in your lawyer au I’m obsessed but honestly anything you write has me happy!
This is so sweet I am so glad you’re loving the drabbles! I did a second part to the vacation AU a couple days ago so I’m going to go with Jealous Cassian in the lawyer AU. I already *kind* of did this but I’ve been doing jealousy light lately and this time we are cranking it up to 100. This one is kinda long and pretty angsty and I think I definitely need to smoosh all these lawyer drabbles into a mini story that follows Nessian from meeting while studying for the bar exam and then through snippets of their careers so maybe that’s what I’ll do next.
Actually facing Nesta in court was an extreme rarity. All of her non pro Bono work was strictly solicitor. Drafting contracts and negotiating deals in different chic board rooms with little glass bottles of Perrier and complimentary latte carts trolling the halls.
Nesta thought that she didn’t want to litigate. She thought that people didn’t like her and because of that she was a bad advocate. She couldn’t have been more wrong.
Watching Nesta fight for something that she believed in, truly believed in, was the closest thing to a religious experience Cassian had ever known.
“And I would urge you to consider in your decision, your honour, the fact that even if it should apply in this case, the very law my learned friend is attempting to uphold is currently under review by the Supreme Court and may soon be overturned on the basis of being unconstitutional as well as unconscionable.” Nesta took a pregnant pause.
“If that happens. If this law is overturned, as you well know, it will not be retroactively helpful to my client. My client who was born here. My client who grew up in Queens. My client who can draw you a map of which bodegas has the best coffee vs the best sandwiches and their proximity to the nearest train, and if that doesn’t qualify her as an American, and a New Yorker, then I don’t know what does.” The judge smiled a little at that. It was a calculated risk, the emotional appeal. But Judge Miluski was already on Nesta’s side and she was a born and bread New Yorker and she had the rare distinction of being a member of the judiciary with a sense of humour. “If this law is overturned, which we both know is highly likely, then my client will be sent to another country, a country she has never even been to, not because she did anything wrong, but because this trial happened a few weeks too-”
Nesta trailed off, eyes caught at the quietly opening gallery door. A man stepped in. Tall and thin and… greasy. Hair slicked back with so much product Cassian didn’t think he’d feel it if he hit him on the head with a hammer. Which he desperately wanted to do. That brutish, violent, raised in foster homes in Harlem side of him that even a legal education and a closet full of Armani suits could never quite polish out of him lit on fire at the sight of this creep. This asshole who was wearing fucking asics with his $4000 suit. And no tie. Top three buttons of a pinstripe white shirt unbuttoned. What a fucking rube.
Except that this guy. THIS fucking guy, made Nesta lose her train of thought. This guy who walked into court late and had yet to drag his eyes up from Nesta’s ass, had distracted her. Caused her to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and smile a little. This shy, light, cutesy little smile that absolutely did not belong on Nesta Archeron’s face.
When Nesta smiled it was a sly, knowing, victorious thing that curled across her lips and set Cassian’s heart hammering in his chest.
This… this was insanity.
The man smirked, deep and arrogant, as he stood at the back of the courtroom, hands slid into his pockets. Not even respectful enough of the proceedings to sit down.
Nesta gathered herself quickly. The whole mess over in under 20 seconds, but Cassian noticed it. Even as Nesta went on and cited the law and the competing jurisprudence and the ethics and the constitution, he couldn’t focus. All he could think about was that little smile.
Cassian said his final piece, the judge ruled, as they both knew she would, in Nesta’s favor, and it was all over.
Nesta didn’t even gloat like she usually would have. She just stuck her hand out, the absolute picture of professionalism, and shook his.
“Good working with you, Counseler.” She said, as if he hadn’t pulled her around the side of a building and pushed her body up against a brick wall the other day, moulding her into him as they fought over this case. Discussed their future. Their passions.
She’d rejected his invitation to dinner, but she always did. It was a part of the game. A game that Cassian was determined to win.
“Who’s the tech bro?” The sneakers with the suit and the unbuttoned shirt and the general shitty attitude all pointed to that being the only reasonable profession.
“Babe,” the slimy man in question pushed past the swinging waist high half door that separated the gallery and the space where counsel’s desks sat. “Let’s go.” He wrapped and arm too tightly around Nesta’s waist and pulled on her a little.
Cassian curled his fists into his palms so hard his nails bit imprints into the skin of his palms. Babe? Telling her when to leave? The pulling? No.
“I’m Cassian.” He held out his hand. “ADA. What firm do you work for? Haven’t seen you around.”
“Tomas.” The man scoffed, “And I’m not a lawyer. Not interested in all that gibberish you’re type is always spewing. Sounds like pure nonsense to me. I’m a tech investor.”
Yeah. That sounded about right. No actual skills. Not an engineer or developer or even a business manager. Just an idiot with a trust fund throwing money at whatever looked cool.
“Well, Tomas. Do you know why they call that big exam full of all that gibberish you hate the bar exam?” The weasel just raised his eyebrows. “It’s because once you pass it, then you are an attorney. And allowed to cross past this BAR.” Cassian pushed Tomas back out the little half door again. “Which separates the civilians in the gallery from the lawyers making their cases. So maybe learn how to show a little respect.” Cassian scoffed, flicking his eyes to Nesta, “In a few different areas of your life.”
“What the fuck, bro?” Tomas rolled his eyes. “This is why I fucking hate going to your lawyer parties and shit. Jackasses like this.”
“Tomas, please.” Nesta placed a hand on his chest, Cassian tensed, and that seemed to calm Tomas down. Not Nesta’s touch, but another man’s jealousy.
“Why don’t you bring the car around. I have to work out a court date for another matter with Cassian but I’ll be right out.”
“Yeah, ok.” Tomas glared, keeping eye contact with Cassian as he kissed Nesta’s cheek, hand travelling too far down her back. “Hurry though.”
“Of course.” Nesta smiled that same tiny little smile that made her look like a doll on a shelf and Cassian wanted to scream.
“What the fuck are you doing with a piece of shit like that?” Cassian minced no words as he turned to face Nesta.
“Excuse me?”
“Pretty straight forward question, Nes.”
“You… you don’t know him. He’s not like that once you get to know him.”
“Sure he’s not,” Cassian scoffed.
“What is your problem?”
“My problem is that your boyfriend, who I’ve never heard of or seen before today despite knowing you for years, had a chance to see you in court. Had a chance to watch you all fired up and passionate and brilliant and instead he walked in late, stared at your ass instead of listening to what you were saying, and then shoved his way up here and pulled at you to leave like you were some kind of toy he didn’t mind tearing the arm off of.”
Nesta blinked. Huffed out a breath. “We’ve been on again off again for a while. That’s why you haven’t seen him before. And he just doesn’t like lawyer stuff that’s why he’s like that in here ok? Not that it’s any of your business.”
“So you’re dating someone who not only doesn’t recognize how brilliant you are but won’t even let you talk about your job?” That was wrong. That was so wrong. That was… why Nesta was so intense with him. Why she debated and fought and talked for hours. Because she couldnt do it at home.
“Why do you even care, Cassian? Let’s just set a date and-”
“Fuck you, Nesta.” Her jaw fell open. “Fuck you for even asking me that. You know why I care. You can’t play dumb with me like I assume you do with him.”
“You don’t know anything about my relationship!” Nesta defended a little too vehemently.
“I know you can’t yell at him about his take on immigration laws,” Cassian stepped closer to her. “I know you can’t get a little tipsy off your favorite Malbec and go on a rambling tirade about the corrupt judiciary and your twenty three- or twenty five depending on the night- reasons why voting for judges completely undermines the integrity of the legal system.”
The was almost no space between them as Cassian looked down, gently set his hand under Nesta’s chin and raised her gaze to meet his. Burning with anger and passion and barely concealed desire. “I know that he didn’t understand why you were crying when RBG died. Because he doesn’t care about how appointing Supreme Court judges works or what that meant for the future of the court. And because I know that you weren’t with him that night. You were with me. Just like election night in 2016. And the Kavanaugh trials. And when the travel ban came into effect. You found me. Because I get it, and I care about your thoughts on all of those things. I’m devastated by them too. You were with me, Nes. And don’t you dare pretend that doesn’t mean anything.”
“It does,” Nesta let her cheek sink into his palm. “It means everything Cassian, but…”
“But we fight,” he smiled. “We bicker and yell and cross ideologies and disagree on all the little things. But not the big things, Nes. Never on the big things. We disagree on how to change the world, not what we want to change in it. Isn’t that what matters?”
Nesta swallowed. “I can’t risk losing you.” She said quietly. “I need you. For all of those reasons, I need you to be in my life and if we… I hurt the people I love, Cassian. So if I let myself love you, I would only hurt you. And I can’t bear the thought of hurting you.”
“So you date him.” Realization was an arrow sailing into Cassian’s chest. “Because you won’t hurt him. Because you could never actually love him.”
Nesta swallowed. “See? See how awful I am?”
Cassian moved his hand to her back, pulled her into his chest. “Go,” he whispered. “Go do whatever you need to do. I’ll be here. And I’ll be waiting for you to realize that I’m not going anywhere. That I can take it. Whatever you want to throw at me, I can take it, Nes.”
#nessian#nessian fanfiction#nesta archeron#acosf#cassian#nesta and cassian#a court of thorns and roses#sarah j maas#a court of silver flames#a court of mist and fury#acotar
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Ummm, excuse me, but you have dropped your crown. Your writing is exemplary as always! This chapter made me feel a whirlwind of emotions. I can easily feel the love Levi has for Reader the morning after. (Levi! youshouldhavejustkissedhergoodmorning!) Their playful banter while eating (tbh, i would rate it 11/10 too! Levi, you little shit, can you please do it again so we can properly reevaluate?) But their confrontation! Them both thinking they do not deserve each other, how they can easily console each other while demeaning themselves. But why do I feel like they still haven't let everything out. Ahhhhh. The painnn. I don't know what to feel and what to expect for the next chapter. We have waited for a kiss to happen, now we wait for them to say 'i love you'. And a flashback at the very end somehow eased the hurt a little bit. Like Erwin??? Orange, reallyy??
They def haven’t let everything out yet, but…. I have been drafting a couple scenes. But that’s all I’m saying about that.
They’re both making progress tho!! Slowly but surely. The summary for the next chapter is: While renovations at the shop are underway, Levi falls back into old habits. You decide to stage an intervention. And ooooooh boy I am so so so excited for 11 because I felt really in my element writing it!! I think you guys will like it a lot! There’s still some scenes to crank out and I need to edit what I already wrote, but an update will happen sooner rather than later.
I loved writing that little flashback at the end. I just think there’s something kinda wholesome about Erwin assigning Levi a “friend” 🥺 under the guise thats it’s for strictly professional reasons ofc🙄 Definitely not getting a girlfriend for his boyfriend!
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HOW I RUN MY BLOG —
SPEED.
slow !!! i’m .... honestly very slow ( on any blog i have ) and i do apologize about that. i think its just my attention span now has diverted elsewhere from time-to-time. (ง ื▿ ื)ว i like to take breaks and just let my brain mellow out, cause tbh my writing skills and creative process has slowed now that i’m a bit older and it’s hard to write with other stuff on my mind and i’m just like, fuck. i do work / am finishing up school so my time varies, but i tend to procrastinate on everything so it’s also that too !!! i promise i’m not purposefully forgetting anyone; i hoard everything in my drafts !!!
REPLIES.
it depends based on hinata’s mood + what kind of structure it is. one-liners can die off quickly, or progress into something more !!! sometimes i feed off of my partner and if i can write and vibe with them and their muse, writing comes a lot easier to me. there will be some days where i can crank out replies if i’m on a good roll; other times not so much. but, even with the same partner, i get too into my head and wonder if this is what she would say + what she would do, etc, so that often slows down my process, causing me to save it in my drafts and reply later. again, it’s never my partner’s doing that makes me slow or that i’m ignoring anyone; it’s all in my drafts and i just want it to be good enough !!!
STARTERS.
i’m not the biggest fan of writing one-liners only cause i wonder if ..... people actually want to write with me ...... and then i’m like ah maybe not .... throws it away lmao. but if i see someone with a one-liner, sometimes i’ll jump the gun and reply ( i’m just a nervous person and again, get in my head a lot !!! ) but i’ll do my best and try to get t out of my comfort zone to leave one-liners out in case my mutuals are interested !!!
INBOX.
always always always open !!! give hinata ( or rose if you follow me there too ! ) random questions or one-liners or whatever and i’ll do my best to reply !! some of it is saved, but if it’s been sitting there for months and my muse is lacking for it, sometimes i will have to delete it because i just can’t .... seem to answer it. o(TヘTo) pls don’t let that deter you from reaching out !! chances are i wanna still interact and talk !!
SELECTIVITY.
i’ll admit it, i’m quite selective with who i follow and unfollow and want on my dash. sometimes, even if we don’t interact, i really just like your writing and i wanna read what you have got going on ( is that creepy ?? i’m sorry !!! ) but i think just due to being overwhelmed, i keep my writing circle small or circles already have people in them &i feel weird kinda inserting myself in. it’s not that i’m not open to new people / friends / writing partners, cause i’d love to write and talk and see what happens. it’s more so can our muses vibe, cause not knowing where your character is from can hinder that ( at least for me !! ) and i’m low key lost as to how to approach or talk with them. so yes, sometimes it’s easier to follow muses based on shows i’ve seen. sometimes oc’s are good too, i’ve rarely had any issues with oc’s whenever writing. please don’t take personal offense to this !! and please if you feel the need to unfollow me for any reason, go ahead and do so !!
WISHLIST.
i’m basic af when it comes to my wishlist. i’m honestly open to whatever ! i hope you don’t mind me bothering you with questions cause they will come up !!
HONEST NOTE.
i am honestly so blessed &so thankful to have the friends i have, after all this time. like, i honestly couldn’t ask for more. thank you for staying, for supporting me, for dealing with my slow self. thank you for loving hinata as much as i do. thank you to everyone who follows me and likes what i do, even if it’s not much !! i’m feeling super sentimental, but i really appreciate you guys wholeheartedly. you’re all wonderful and deserve so much !! (´,,���ω•,,)♡
tagged by: @thatdamnreno ( ilysm ♡ ) !!! tagging: if you see this omg take &let us get to know you !!
#‣ ✽ author’s thoughts. / OOC.#......... i hope this explains ....... why i'm so slow ......#crawls into a hole
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📝 november ‘19 writing progress
total words written: 17,987
most words written in a day: 1,662
least words written in a day: 129
current yearly total: 162,037
projects worked on:
- altea rising chapter 15 - red skies chapter 8 - roman holiday au - galolio fic
❄️december goals❄️
- write every day - finish galolio fic - finish chapter 15 of altea rising?? maybe? - get some more progress done on chapter 8 of red skies and the roman holiday au
notes:
i attempted to do nanowrimo as i always do and....obviously i didn’t get all the way to 50k, but i wasn’t expecting to and i was really just hoping that it would at least motivate me to get a bit more done than usual so i’m still happy! especially because october was such a rough month for me, it felt good to get out a decent amount of words.
i went into november with the intention of focusing mostly on chapter 15 of altea rising since it’s been nearly a year since i updated it *laughs nervously* and uhhh well i wrote a pretty good chunk of it but i probably still have maybe half of it left to go. in my defense, since it’s the last chapter it’s going to be extremely long and eventful, so hopefully it will be worth the wait. i hope maybe i can at least finish a draft of it by the end of december, but with the holidays and everything...we’ll see. i do hope to get a lot more progress done on it, though!
i also started chapter 8 of red skies even though i promised myself i wouldn’t start it until i finished altea rising but LOL WHOOPS! kinda glad i started it though, because i really missed it and it got me cranking out some words on days when i felt super burned out on altea rising.
additionally, i’m slowly working through a galolio fic that i’d originally thought would be...much shorter but might end up being a little on the longer side (like maybe 10k-15k so not SUPER long but...yknow). as i’ve probably mentioned, i’ve been finding it a little challenging to get through since i’m writing for a brand new fandom/characters, but i’m still having a lot of fun with it!
although i didn’t get a whole lot of progress done on it, i also worked on the klance roman holiday au a few times...i’ve kinda only been adding to it when i’m feeling stuck on everything else, but i’m hoping to really throw myself into it a bit more soon, especially since it’s now been almost a year since i started writing it sldkfjd.
OH ALSO!! i had a yearly goal to write 150k words and I MET THAT GOAL AAHH so that’s super exciting! and it’s kind of a relief going into december knowing that i already met my goal for the year so, phew!
anyway sorry i haven’t been posting a whole lot of fic updates in the past couple months but i promise i’m chugging along and hopefully will post Something by the end of the year. i hope everyone has a good december and happy holidays to all!
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I’ll Never Leave You (Newt Imagine)
Warning: Sad *le cry*
A/N: I was going through my drafts and stumbled upon this that I wrote when I saw Death Cure. Enjoy.
Caution: A bit cringey
Thomas and I wrapped our arms around Newt and forced him to keep going. We weren't going to leave him, I wasn’t going to leave him. We’ve been through so much to give up on him now. Newt was slowly dying from the disease in our arms. I was trying so hard to not cry for him, but my heart was breaking seeing him like this. This was our worst fear, losing him to the disease. We made it to the tunnels when Newt collapsed to the floor.
“Sarah go! We’ll meet you there!” Thomas yelled at me. “No! I’m not leaving without him!” I said trying to help him with Newt. “You’re not going to, come on Newt we’re almost there.” Thomas said to him. “S-Sarah, just go. Go without me. Both of you.” Newt said. “Are you kidding me? I’m not leaving you Newt, you know that. Remember, start to finish and this isn’t the finish.” I said to him in the eye.
At this moment is when I began to tear up. By the look in his eye I can tell the disease was ready to over take him. He only had a bit of humanity left in him.
“Please, just go. Or kill me. I don’t want this to fully take me.” Newt begged. “I’m not killing you. Come on, you can do it baby I believe in you.” I said him pushing his hair out of his eyes. “Sarah, I love you. You were the best thing to ever happen to me.” Newt began. “No, no, no don’t you start talking like that. You’re going to make it. Brenda has the serum, you’re gonna get it and you’re going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay again.” I said as I cried and held him. “Don’t forget about me.” “Newt-“
“Thomas..”
Thomas and I looked around, Teresa’s voice echoing throughout the burning city.
“Thomas please come back, I know you don’t have reason to but please I need you. The only reason why Brenda is alive is because of your blood. Your blood cured her.” Teresa spoke. “You can cure Newt too and everyone else. Just please, come back to me.”
“Thomas..” I said looking at him. “Newt, Sarah come on we gotta go now!” Thomas commanded us.
I tried to pick up Newt but he grabbed my hand.
“Back away.” Newt said through the black silva.
I got up from the floor and grabbed Thomas. Newt got up and started thrashing around before stopping abruptly.
“Newt...” I said.
He turned to us and screamed. He came at us full speed. Thomas pushed me out of the way and Newt through himself at Thomas. I sat in fear watching the love of life turn into a monster. He sat on top of Thomas trying to bite him.
“Newt stop!” I screamed.
He turned to me and his breathing started to calm down. He looked back at Thomas.
“I’m s-sorry Thomas.” Newt said.
He reached down Thomas’ leg and grabbed his gun aiming it at his head.
“No!” I screamed getting up.
Thomas tackled him and took the gun away. Newt went back to Crank mode and took his knife.
“Sarah run!” Thomas yelled at me.
I stood frozen watching Thomas and Newt fight. Newt kept trying to stab Thomas, succeeding in slicing him a bit. I ran up to Newt and tackled him. He dropped the knife.
“Newt stop this! You can power through this I believe you!” I screamed at him.
I was on top of him trying to get his hands down. He through me off of him and went to his knife again. He went for Thomas again and it all happened so quick. I sat up and saw the both of them looking at each other. Next thing I see is Newt laying on ground with a knife through his chest. Newt killed himself. I couldn’t tell if I made a sound as I ran to his side. His body lay lifeless; I let it out, I screamed and cried. I picked up his head laid it on my lap, my tears dropping on his face. My Newt, my love, is now dead. Not even ten seconds later Brenda and everyone ran in with the serum but she was too late. Too slow.
I looked at Thomas, “Go.”
He nodded, took his gun, and ran for WCKED HQ. Everyone approached me slowly, fearing I might lash out. Brenda was crying as she approached me.
“Sarah...I am so sorry.” She said. “Sorry doesn’t bring him back.” I said quietly.
I took the knife out of his chest and held it in my hand.
“I know what you’re thinking don’t do it.” Minho said. “You don’t know what I’m thinking.” I said broken-hearted. “Yes I do, you’re want to kill yourself too. I know it hurts, I feel your pain, but do you really think Newt would want this?” “I don’t want to live without him Minho, I can’t live without him. He was my everything.” I was cradling his face. “And you were his, but I know he wouldn’t want you to do this. He would want you to live, in memory of him. Put the knife down.”
Minho was now in front of me, tears also spilling seeing his now deceased best friend. He took the knife out of my hand and pulled me into a hug, I cried into his arms. He held me up and started to walk me back to the plane.
“No, I’m not leaving him here.” I said through my tears. “We can’t take him with us.” Gally said. “I’m not being separated from him, not again. Please.”
Gally sighed, “Let’s get him wrapped up.”
The sun shined down on me and the wind blew through my hair. I sat next to Newt’s grave, like I always do, and watched over this place we now call home.
“You would’ve loved it here baby, it’s beautiful.” I said. “He really would’ve.” A voice behind me said, Thomas. “Hey.” I said. “Hey. You doin alright?” He asked sitting next to me. “I guess.” “I know it’s hard, to lose the one you care about most.” “Yeah..” “I’m not saying to get over it, but maybe move on. Make a new start.” “I loved him Thomas, I’ve always loved him. There hasn’t been a day where I haven’t.” “Even when he pushed you into mud or got guts in your hair?” Thomas tried to lighten the mood. I smiled and chuckled, “Yes even then, I might’ve been really pissed at him but I still loved him.” “Damn, well consider this as a new beginning for the both of you.” “Yeah, I will.” “He loved you too ya know?” “I know. He always told me. Even before he died.” “He said the memory of you never left his mind, he had a hard time remembering things, but you were never something he struggled with.” I chuckled, “Yeah he told me that too. He was someone I could never forget either. No matter how hard they tried to make me forget.” “I remember when you two reunited, I’ve never seen him so happy as long as I had known him.” “That was a beautiful moment, I don’t think I had cried so hard before.” “You two really had an unbreakable bond.” “We did.”
We sat silently. Thomas looked back at Newt’s grave and patted the ground.
“You gonna be okay?” He asked me. “I will be, eventually.” “Okay.” Thomas nodded and patted my back before leaving back to camp. “We did it Newt, we found a place to call home. Just wish you were to see it.”
I stood up and left a kiss on his head stone, “I love you.”
(A/N: Sorry if it’s kinda bad, but I loved Newt so much and he deserved better)
#thomas sangster imagine#thomas brodie sangster imagine#thomas brodie sangster#thomas sangster#newt imagine#newt#death cure#maze runner
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SHAME SHAME SHAME
everybody's people watchin' everybody’s punch clockin’
hey how are ya my name is emmy and i’m here to search for a new rp partner. a bit about me, i’m 22, canadian, work two part time jobs and attend uni full time and i go by she/her pronouns. i reside in the mountain timezone and i am thrilled to hopefully start writing with you.
why should you write with me? because i promise that if i pick up an rp with you i’m gonna put 100 and 10 percent of my effort into our story. i’m looking for a long term gig, someone who i can really weave a plot with, someone who digs the cut of my jib. i want us to be able to sob over our characters together late into the night. i want us to exchange songs, playlists, posts found on the internet, aesthetic boards, whatever reminds us of our characters/our plot.
i will probably spam you with pictures of my character’s playby and i want to see mad pics of yours, too. i want us to go through our character’s struggles together as well as be able to cheer together when our characters get a hold on their situation and come up on top. i want us to inspire one another with our writing. it’s gonna be great. you & me honey.
right now I'm looking for 1-2 new rp partners who are interested in something long-term and fully fleshed out. think 'mains'.
gee, that sounds nice! i’m inclined to agree! but a few things you should know before you go any further: i write anywhere between full lit to lit + to novella style, so expect posts of at least 4 - 6 paragraphs baseline. sometimes i crank out 10. or just 5. depends entirely on what’s going on. i write according to situation, with a great amount of detail spent on what my character is thinking/feeling in response to yours. the replies you get will be fully fleshed out & enthralling. i am a stickler for grammar and spelling, though nobody’s perfect, i do occasionally have my slipups. all lowercase text is strictly kept to ooc communication. i can be sporadic with capitalization ooc but still keep good spelling. i will never pressure you into posting or writing ridiculous amounts just to match my post. i want you to have fun too! if i’ve had a bit too much to drink or am about to hit the hay, i’ll wait to post until i can give my post my full attention. usually i’ll be able to post at least once every week, sometimes multiple times a week depending on work & schoolwork. i'm available for ooc chat almost all the time. i also totally understand life happens and sometimes we just need a breather. ♥ i have bipolar depression, and sometimes my depression kicks my ass, but i’ll let you know when that happens.
oh goodness, what else? i write predominantly m/m pairings but i am open to m/f and f/f as well. i do not write high fantasy settings, sorry doll. my interests mostly align with modern day, slice of life kinda stuff, aside from the fandoms i do have. i don’t have many limits besides excessive gore, scat, mpreg, and writing smut for sake of smut. i love my romance just like anyone else does, but it’s got to have plot. our characters have to have chemistry or else i get bored. i haven’t doubled before but i think i’d be down for it with the right plot. usually i prefer that we play one character each, or we play multiple characters within a plot, but not usually more than one plot at the same time. but!!! i am totally willing to try new things!! just be patient with me as i learn m'kay? i have had several threads going at once with one partner which can be super fun. also most of my characters are pretty kinky but like, i prefer that we talk about kinks and limits one on one as opposed to airing out my character’s laundry. also- i wanna be your friend ooc. let’s chat. i find it’s so much easier to have muse and post if i enjoy the virtual company of the people i’m writing with.
ok but what do you write?
what *don’t* i write? kidding. here’s a bit of fandom for ya. if i’ve got plots listed, they’re the ideas i have, but i’m totally open to yours as well. stars denote how much i’m craving them. i’ll list the canon characters i write after i list the fandom:
mafia 2: vito scaletta ***plot for mafia 2 a: we explore the dynamics of a relationship between vito and your oc. your oc could be in a position of great risk- think outside of the mafia, possibly a police officer, prostitute. some position where power dynamics could be played with. if the pairing is m/m we also deal with the themes of internalized homophobia and coming to terms with one’s identity.
*bioshock 1, 2 & infinite: brigid tenbenbaum, andrew ryan, frank frontaine & eleanor lamb, sofia lamb & booker dewitt
**marvel cinematic universe: tony stark, steve rogers
***greater marvel universe: logan howlett, carol danvers ****random plot: we do a crossover and we ship sharon carter/carol danvers. i just. uuugh i have a lot of feelings about them and i have hella muse for these babes. lemme know if you’re down to give this a shot i will love you forever no word of a lie.
but honestly where my heart lies is within oc rp. here are a few plots i have of mine, stars denote how much i’m craving them:
****(m/m) power & politics: my oc is a prestigious state senator, who lives a double life. he is currently in the closet with no intent on leaving it anytime soon. however, a certain someone falls into his life, making him question what he thought he knew for certain. your oc breaks down the walls my oc has put up and changes him into a softer, better man. however, with an upcoming presidential campaign on the horizon for my oc, the limits of the secret relationship will be pushed and pulled beyond what both parties have ‘signed up for.‘
****(m/m) the guardian: your oc is a newcomer to the nhl but is quickly making waves- think connor mcdavid style. he’s young and impressive, but mostly, impressionable. he starts to get battered around by both his teammates and opposing teams. after a few hard hits and fowl play within the game that have cost your oc bench and recovery time, the team’s coach calls in reinforcements to boost the team’s morale and serve as a protector to your oc. my oc is a player who hasn’t got the talent part but has got a huge heart. not to mention… huge hands. good for makin’ fists. good for fightin’. my oc protects your oc during the games, coming to your oc’s aid, picking fights for your oc and protecting him on the ice. as such, the two players grow attached to one another.. perhaps too attached for the captain to be comfortable with. possibilities for a love triangle and other complications, for sure
***(m/m) too good to be true: our ocs start out in the whl, both as promising wingers. their good chemistry is vital to bringing back their team’s success. however, one of our ocs starts to get too attached to the other, and when an nhl draft separates them, one of our ocs is all too eager to cut contact and try to forget. the two excel in their nhl careers without one another, and end up on nhl teams with a history of deep rivalry. occasionally, the gloves hit the ice, fueled by the tension of unresolved feelings and the pressure of the respective teams to keep up the rivalry. the two are reunited when they are both chosen to play nationally for the same team, and are forced to reconcile what they have both buried so deeply within them.
***(m/m) big money: these two ocs play for rival teams in the nhl. while their teams have a history of tension, our two ocs take it to the next level. audiences are more excited to watch these two fight than they are to watch the game itself. there’s a market in the violence between these two, and a reputation to maintain on both ends. if the public found out that these two were secretly seeing one another, their careers would both be over.
**** (m/m) sugar daddy: my oc is a law student studying in your oc's country in order to get their degree abroad. they're from eastern europe and uh. broke af. they settle into an arrangement with your oc where your oc agrees to ~pay him for his company after they meet while my oc does camming online to make ends meet. we could take it anywhere- your oc could whisk mine off his feet and 'save' him or. be toxic & trashy and make my oc's life hell.
okay and, here are just some general prompts that could be intertwined with the plots above, or could be something we use to springboard into our own rp:
my oc has serious commitment issues. they often go around ‘ghosting’ individuals after 4-5 dates, with little to no explanation of why. your oc falls for mine, and is the first to confront my oc about their shitty habits.
your oc and my oc were best friends, but they lost touch over a stupid fight they had when they were preteens. they can’t believe that they’re seeing one another in a bar, halfway across the world from where they met.
your oc and my oc were flames. my oc proposed to yours, but yours turned them down. they never spoke again… until they were sharing a crammed elevator, with my oc being completely intoxicated, and still confessing their feelings for your oc.
your oc is a huge fan of my oc’s nhl career/political career. your oc wins a contest to meet and have dinner with my oc. while my oc expects a boring night out, my oc is completely surprised by how well they hit it off with your oc.
my oc, your first oc and your second oc all grew up together. your first oc has always been pining for my oc’s attention, and is thrilled when my oc and your first oc finally get together. they develop a long term relationship, but my oc knows it would devastate your first oc if they told them that they have been seeing your second oc for most of the relationship.
i recognize that a lot of these focus on the nhl/the lives of professional hockey players- please don’t be worried about hockey knowledge/nhl jargon/whatever else goes through your head! i’m more interested in sport as a realm for drama than i am for following the rulebook and being 100% accurate to life when it comes to hockey. there’s a lot i don’t know and am still needing to learn, myself! if you know a lot, great!! if you don’t, let’s figure things out together! as for general oc ideas, here’s a list:
professor x student
veteran x civillian
cop x criminal
psychiatrist x patient
** OC superheroes (I have a lot of muse for this one!)
street racing, fast-and-furious-esque setting
rival gangs
** nhl/hockey based (lol obviously)
small town canadiana or americana
fun, fluffy romance based modern settings
darker themes such as addiction, abuse, etc - i find it cathartic sometimes to write about violent material buuuut this has to be really fleshed out between us
historical setting- preferably, the second world war/1940s-1960s
light worldbuilding - new to this but wanting to learn
honestly whatever you can pitch to me that isn’t high fantasy :)
i can expand on and work with any of these ideas, these are just like, topics. whatever i do with you, i promise it’ll be fleshed out, with tons of opportunity for drama.
hell yeah let’s do this pal
if any, and i mean any, of this piqued your fancy, pleaaaase shoot me an email at
i will respond! but please send me something thoughtful! i’d like to hear what part of my ad that you’re interested in/why you chose to contact me. i am most wanting to rp over email and talk over google hangouts but i can be open to skype, too. i sure look forward to hearing from you! ♥
emmy
#indie rp#indie roleplay#independent roleplay#oc rp#multiple paragraph#long term#email#marvel rp#avengers rp#smut rp#submission
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( I just wanted to let yall know that I’m kinda having issues with my muse the last few days as it seems. I thin it’s due to stress from work and also my plans to go visit my gf in like 8 days :’D Im just getting things ready and a few friends are wanting to see me before I go out of state for that week so I’m a bit all over the place.
I think all this has kinda caused my muse to hibernate some >> I will be trying to get to drafts and starters and such since Im off today and the next two days but as I said im hanging out with a friend tomorrow and such so I might take a while still to get to them. I haven’t forgotten anyone or replies it’s just been a bit tricky to will myself to write atm. But my muse is always sporadic at times so you never know when I’ll just all of a sudden be able to crank several out >> lol. So I’m basically just saying i might get to them soon or i might not, im really not sure. :’D
Thank you so much for your patients and support. I love you all very much. Thank you! <3 )
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59. Don’t Stop Till It’s Done!
After Friday’s happy hour, I looked at my tasks, my calendar ahead and took the energy from the anxiety to start and knock it all out and engaged in one of the most productive study sessions I have had. Minimal music, no people, just me and laptop and thoughts just STREAMING. I am EXHAUSTED during the day but get so much determination to get things done after 9PM :/ . I said to myself, This is pretty feasible, it’s all at the end of brain, fresh. I need to get this down as it comes. I felt something like a poet, writer or rapper. I had to take advantage of that spirit I was feeling to finish...and I accomplished a ton! I:
finished my weekly assessment (something that typically takes me 2 - 3 days to complete)
sent a job post to a friend I know is looking for work
created the first draft of my Trello board to map out my project for the next 4 weeks
updated my journal
updated this blog
I also got cranking at school, so I did not leave...I stayed until 4 in the morning. I know, a little nuts, but I look forward to working on my project this weekend and praying it’s in God’s plans that I do. Crawling home this early in the morning doesn’t feel totally great, but it will tomorrow when I realize I have my weekend back a bit!... :)
On the agenda for today: meeting with a friend from the UK I met a year back who now works at Facebook as a PM...she’s a new friend, yes, but you better believe I will turn this into a networking opportunity. Holla!
It was great catching up with her. I met her at an event at my old job and LOVED the sound of her British accent! LOL. Black Brits are so interesting to me. When I was in London and would run into a Black person, I would expect one voice and get the British accent instead and it would make me flip out. Similar experience as when I went to NY and saw so many Black people speaking Spanish. Of course Black people are EVERYWHERE because of colonialism and I know Black people speak so many different languages and dialects in so many different accents, it’s just cool to see your folk but hearing them differently. I didn’t explain that well, but you catch my drift...
Lunch was great, and she paid! Better than most dates I’ve been on with men out here in the Bay HELLLLOOO. Anyway :), she was out here for a month in a Project Management Prep program sponsored by Facebook. Getting in tech in the Bay Area was one of her aspirations when I met her in 2017. It was so great to see that she had not only got it but completed it and was returning back to her hometown of London to work for them.
The other woman she invited is a 10-year tenured Sr. Product Designer on the Monetization team at Upwork who has aspirations of running a fit business. It was inspiring to be at the table with both of them talking politics, traveling, and Black culture. We parted ways with promises of seeing each other soon. They gave me their support and offered to refer me for roles to their companies. I’m very grateful for my community in the Bay and abroad.
I also helped with my friend’s company I have been putting 2nd to this program. I reached out to some influencers to promote the product and made some social media posts for it.
I even got a workout in today.
When I returned home, I was met with a text from my friend from the program. She asked if I could help her troubleshoot a problem for her. I felt bad redirecting her to someone else by saying, “I am not in front of my cpu right now. Reach out to the #questions channel I made on Slack. I am sure someone would be more than happy to help,” because I want to be able to help, but also know that I need to take a little brain break from coding before I burn out. I wanted to relax today and I am glad I kinda chose that. I coded a lot, I did some promotion for the business, networked with some friends, worked out, cooked a little and was starting laundry. I have to learn the power of “No” and test that out. Plus, there are about 30 other women she can tap into for help that are actually working on it. I felt a bit more comfortable telling her no considering this.
I have been apprehensive to change my status on Facebook, just because I thought my title Autonomous Vehicle Engineering Operations Analyst at [company I used to work for] sounded great and would help me in recruiting, for Ops and Engineering roles, just in case I can get an Ops role faster. I realized however that I was still getting contacted only for Ops roles and that if I wanted to live this life, I had to live it without fear. I had to commit, otherwise no one would believe me. Fake it till I make it. So I updated my header and status and made it public: Software Engineering Fellow at [my school], Prev. Autonomous Vehicle Engineering Operations Analyst. I am happy with that. From this, I received an outpour of likes and “Congrats!” and messages from old colleagues, managers, and engineers I reached out to before embarking on this journey. It made me feel great and made me feel like I was changing.
I bought Vade’s protein pods last week and they finally arrived...and they taste GREAT! It was such a clever idea that I had before I saw their debut on Shark Tank. It was also one of the catalysts to doing this program. When I saw that they were getting paid from a similar idea I had, I told myself to stop wasting time and get to making my dreams a reality. Time’s a wasting...I am also about 10 pounds heavier than where I was in high school and it’s starting to freak me out 0.0. I’m losing weight, but hopefully it’s excess weight...
#trello#black engineer#engineering#software#software engineering#women in engineering#female engineer#20s#black female#female#silicon valley#bay area#san franciso bay#san francisco#java#javascript#python#sqlalchemy#jquery#c#c++#sql#computer science#coding#coding bootcamp#london#uk#brexit#upwork#facebook
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ALL 50 QUESTIONS BITCH
HECK
1: Age Group For fic tbh whatever, I know a lot of people in fandom are underage and are exploring and figuring out what they like, etc. Plus not all my stuff is explicit, and some of the stuff that is still isn’t porn so. As for original stuff that will likely all be explicit as well, so an adult market audience.
2: Genre Usually fantasy, sometimes science fiction.
3: Big Idea or Detail Oriented Outlining binch i cant outline for absolute shit. I guess big picture but like…. ?? the biggest possible picture, almost to the point of being useless lmfao. someone help me.
4: Line Editing or Plot Revision I prefer line editing for fics because I’m lazy and it’s for free, but overhaul type revision results in a better finished product so I use that for original stuff (and commissions).
5: With or Without Deadlines With deadlines, definitely. I can crank out 1k in an hour if I have a deadline, but without one it can take me 2 years to write just as much (see: Zwangsneurose, started the second I got home from seeing The Winter Soldier, still not finished, word count at ~800 lmfao).
6: The Biggest Compliment I love it when people mention details that they noticed! Or if god forbid I was funny once.
7: Current WIP Length I have 12 fic WIPs right now and the longest one is 7.7k. I have 4 original WIPs right now, but they are all in development stages, with no word count yet.
8: Author Comparison Goal @neil-gaiman 110%. He is my ultimate goals and a huge inspiration, not to mention just a plain cool guy. I also would love to be compared to Rick Riordan or Gillian Flynn.
9: Biggest Struggle Foreshadowing probably. I sort of wing it as I’m writing, and I can’t do a very good outline like I said, so it’s tough to get good hints and clues as to what’s coming. That’s part of the reason my originals are taking so much development (not just because I have to fill in all the worldbuilding that is already mostly done for fic).
10: Brainstorming With Others or Alone I like to do a bit of both. I really appreciate input, plus talking things out can really get the creative ball rolling. But I like to get into Deep Shit on my own too, especially with worldbuilding. I’ll always share with others though, even the stuff I wanted to come up with all on my lonesome.
11: Characters Based on Real People I’m sure there are aspects of people I know, and of myself, in every character I create, and likely even in characters that have already been created. What you know will always leak into your writing. However, I don’t usually base a character fully (or purposefully) around one real person. I do namesakes though, but they’re almost never modeled after that person, it’s just a shoutout to someone I find inspiring in some way.
12: Writing Space Clean or Cluttered cluttered af binch u been here & seen it smh make me drag myself in front of everyone……
13: Character Driven or Plot Driven Always character driven!! what kinda question
14: Favorite Writing Related Quote “Stories may well be lies, but they are good lies that say true things, and which sometimes pay the rent.” - guess who lmao
15: My Characters in Someone Else’s World I would transport my characters into (brace yourselves for a shock lol jk) American Gods, primarily so that they could get some good old fashioned “help” from the Big Guys.
16: Movie or TV Show Well two of them have pretty finite endings. The romance legend could be a tv show but with a limited amount of renewal, ala A:TLA (but I’d like it better as a graphic novel). The vampire tragedy has a very finite ending so that would make a better movie. And the witch noir and girl gang are both a bit neverending-WIP-ish so they’d make pretty good shows.
17: Soundtracks Yes! They help keep me focused and writing in a cohesive tone when I have to leave and come back. Y’all can listen to the playlist I have for witch noir here. Eventually I’ll split it up for character and/or scene mood, and I might add some scene suitable ambient noise tracks too.
18: One Song to Sum It Up witch noir - Temptress, S.J. Tucker romance legend - Take Me to Church, Neon Jungle vampire tragedy - Bodies, Celia Pavey girl gang - Weapon, Bastille & Angel Haze & FUGZ & Braque
19: Me There or Characters Here …me there, I guess? In the romance legend, vampire tragedy, and girl gang not anything would really be different, but in the witch noir I’d probably have inherited some sweet powers. Not many of my characters are very friendly tho lmao.
20: Most Wanted Adaptation Probably (a piece of) the witch noir. It’d be neat to actually see all those neat film noir lighting tricks.
21: Finish Uh. I finish one shot porn a lot? lmao. Other than that, damn… no.
22: Made Myself Cry lol yah
23: Proud or Anxious usually I’m more proud, but sometimes when it’s something that’s very deeply personal or controversial I can get anxious.
24: When Did I Become a Writer tbh sometimes I think I came out the womb that way. I don’t remember not being a writer, and I know I had legit novel ideas as early as like 3rd grade, and was making shit up with pretty words even earlier.
25: Must Reads in My Genre three guesses what i’m bout to say y’all. Literally anything by Gaiman. Cornelia Funke’s Inkheart series. Any Pratchett. Donna Gillespe fucked me up with The Light Bearer. Bear Daughter by Judith Berman (although that is kind of a tough read, so I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it for everyone).
26: My Genre Needs More… Diversity in general, specifically more people of color, queer people, and people with disabilities (that aren’t magically erased). Also in my opinion there needs to be more things in between grimdark and go-lucky fairytale.
27: Inspiration Source History, anthropology, and pseudoscience.
28: Character Naming Stress from 1-10 Probably about a 2 or a 3. I use behindthename.com which can be searched for meanings, sound patterns, usage, and origin, and has a handy “name themes” search algorithm. I also recently found the legit U.S. census thanks to @peppersandcats helping me out with search terms, and that can be sorted by ethnicity, gender, time period, and geographical location. So I’ve got names pretty well covered!
29: Underwrite or Overwrite First Drafts It could go either way, but generally speaking unless I have a word limit I usually like to add more during editing. Except when something is confusing or too complicated, then I’ll cut it.
30: Calming or Stressing Not really either tbh. I enjoy it a lot, but it’s mostly exciting! Not calming or stressful, but either a fun adventure or a challenging puzzle.
31: Favorite Trope Tough to pick just one tbh. I love tropes when they are done “right”. Even tropes done classically can be great (as long as they’re not -phobic of some sort), but I especially love when they are done satirically or inverted.
32: Backstories for Side Characters Guilty af. Even characters that might not even make it into the finished book have backstories, personalities, and quirks.
33: Characterize Before Writing or Develop with The Story A little bit of both. I like to have a solid character to work with at the beginning, but for in-text character development I like to let that unfold with the plot and the other characters.
34: Old Writing in One Word Prolific
35: Villains or Heroes I like them both pretty well, but my favorite characters of all time are always a little ambiguous so if I had to pick just one kind that’s what I’d go with.
36: B&W Morality No way! I live in the gray area.
37: Advice Have fun! Be proud of yourself for what you come up with and celebrate your creativity even if you think it doesn’t compare with other writers. The happier you are to create, the more creative you’ll get. Also, like with any other kind of art, pick a couple role models to emulate and that will help you develop your own solid style.
38: Advice I Fail At The first draft doesn’t have to be perfect. I spend too long line editing while I’m writing my first draft and that makes it a lot harder to finish anything.
39: Importance of Positive Reinforcement I’d say reasonably important. Definitely helpful. But I know I’ll keep writing even without it.
40: Question for Favorite Author How much difference is there between how his creation is in his head versus how it came out in the words, and does he ever think about rewriting things that are long finished?
41: Distracting to Read While Writing Actually, no. Reading other comparable works helps keep me motivated, inspired, and focused.
42: Motivated or Discouraged by Critiques Tbh I don’t think I have ever received a real in-depth critique so I’m not certain? I’ve had idle “I liked this, but I didn’t like/understand that” type of feedback, and that has usually been pretty helpful and appreciated. If nothing else it lets me know what parts of the story might not be as accessible to an audience.
43: Protagonists in My Likeness Yes, there’s a little of me in very many of my protagonists, and often even in fic characters that I write. But, like with other real people, they’re not usually modeled after me, we just have some stuff in common because I leak over into them (and sometimes they leak over into me) when I’m writing them.
44: Choosing An Idea This is something I struggle with, really. My process is usually to try writing a bit of it, and if I hate it it’s probably not viable.
45: Harder or Easier While Stressed It’s usually a harder to write when I’m stressed, and what I do manage to write doesn’t have as much quality.
46: Sort Protagonists !!! There are too many!! these are just the Big Ones (so far) in witch noir Gryffindor - toots, eddie, maddie, anca, seth Hufflepuff - lily, charisma, s.j., angel, iris Ravenclaw - fred, ariel, dido, father piero Slytherin - evelyn, jessica, sloan, clara-claudia, aixa
47: Five Year Goal Hopefully I will have fucking finished something. Maybe published? Or maybe getting my manuscript looked at. (I have a humble-ish time frame, I think. Writing is a lot of work, and five years is a lot less time than it sounds like.)
48: Co-Writing I’m a huge control freak, so probably not. At least not with original characters. Maybe for fic tho, because that can be much lower stakes lmao.
49: Fast or Slow When I’m in The Zone I speed thru, but it can take me a while to get started and I come up on blocks pretty often so I’m a slow finisher.
50: Worldbuilding or Characters Shit man, that’s a tough choice. I guess characters? I don’t know.
#ask meme#writing stuff#jack chats#kelsie#writing process#jack facts#jesus this took me like an hour smh#lovemea-malia#hc
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AMA Transcript: Awoken
This past week, @professor-maka and @sahdah stopped in to chat about their work on their 2016 Resbang, Awoken! Here’s some of what went down:
Q: How did your fic change/evolve over time? Any deleted scenes/headcanons you couldn't fit into the fic?
ProMa: Sort of? In that I wasn't exactly sure how far I wanted to take the plot at first, and at one point considered a Medusa appearance but decided I liked flipping the villain expectation too much to fuss with it.
Q: How the frick did you write the songs and stuff?? It was so good and hilarious.
ProMa: Ahhhh I can't music which is why the songs are either poems (only the first, and it's intentionally bad) or I took actual songs and just--modified lyrics in the same meter.
Q: You wrote your own lyrics tho?
ProMa: I did. I carefully plotted to the meter of the original. Or in the case of Ox's first song, just kept a really trite meter.
Q: Gotta ask the obvious question: What made you want to do an Enchanted AU!!
ProMa: It's a really fun movie, and I just felt I could do something fun with it. Though I'll admit there's a heavy Enchanted Forest Chronicles in there, too.
Q: What was the hardest scene to write?
ProMa: Hardest to write was hmmmm... Maka waking up the second time. I got stuck in that section forever.
Q: And which scene did you write first?? Loved the song summons btw. It made me laugh so hard.
ProMa: I wrote it pretty much in order except in a few places where I wrote the song before the scene, so the taxi scene came first. The song summons was so fun to write. I wanted to take that scene from Enchanted and completely flip it on its head.
Q: Proma, I love the running gag with the disembodied music, was that from the AU's or your own detail?
ProMa: Disembodied music was just drawing from the brand of humor in Enchanted Forest Chronicles, Patrick Dempsey's reactions in Enchanted, and the reality of musicals. So basically my take on it, lol.
Q: How early in the process did you figure out that Ox was gonna be the prince? Were you always sure it would be him or did you have to narrow it down?
ProMa: Ox was my prince pretty much from the get go. He just fit what I wanted to do. I was going for the more noble version of Hans from Frozen.
Q: Was there anything weird that you didn't expect to make it into the final cut?
ProMa: The potty humor I definitely wasn't sure I would keep. But I am 14 at heart and kept it.
Q: Alternately, anything you wanted to keep but had to cut?
ProMa: I kind of wanted a Black Star appearance but time and plot arc did not allow. Also Wes was not in the original plan but he happened anyway.
Q: Tell us about the art collab! How did it work for you?
ProMa: They were really enthusiastic and supportive and started throwing ideas out from the get go!
sahdah: Read voraciously, threw my ideas at Proma.
ProMa: The poster image sahdah did was so great she worked on it forever! sahdah: Proma was super chill and awesome about things, I'd ask for direction and she gave like dress ideas. It was so much fun!
ProMa: And rogha's painting was lovely.
Q: What was the hardest thing about that poster image?
sahdah: Ahhh the coloring. I did pen drawing and scanned but I'd just gotten a tablet for digital so working the layers was interesting. I had lots of support from Proma and Aer!
Q: How many drafts did you do before you decided on a final image for the art?
sahdah: Um, it started off with just Maka, and then Ox got added. And then I think Kim was next - this is all on the same page - and I knew Soul in a beanie had to be there. So it just grew.
ProMa: It grew in the most glorious way possible. Sahdah kept sending me updates and I just [said] YES YES GOOD YES.
Q: I am jealous of how well-behaved this fic was for not having any deleted scenes.
ProMa: AHAHA I'm a weird writer. I delete sometimes, but not often.
Q: SEQUEL?
ProMa: Noooooooo no no no no no. Epilogue is my limit.
Q: What was your favorite scene to write?
ProMa: Either the vermin scene or Maka laying the smackdown on Ox. Both were fun. Maka as badass is always my jam.
Q: Is this a genre you'd want to do again?
ProMa: It was fun, I'd definitely do it again!
Q: Please tell me what inspired the "friendly neighbourhood broctologist" line because I literally laughed at it for 30 straight seconds.
ProMa: B* works in mysterious ways. He always gets my best lines. What inspired it? B* being B*.
[discussion of the rats/roaches scene]
ProMa: That scene is one of the more direct lifts from the film. It's really nasty. Vermin squick me so hard, but vermin summoning is one of the most hilarious things in the film. I HAD to.
sahdah: Giriko running in fear when he next sees them, lol.
ProMa: Poor Giriko, he only wanted some loot.
[discussion of how numerous people have not seen Enchanted]
ProMa: It's cute and funny and I did something completely different with the premise because Maka is no Gisselle.
Q: Real question time: Why George Michael?
ProMa: Omg. It was my server name because it was a play on the kiss thing and then I just--had to. Because Wham is awesome and cheesy and it fit.
Q: I'm kinda mad with how it was not awkward or cheesy. How do you put Wham in a story and make it charming?
sahdah: Promagic.
ProMa: I have no idea. I love Wham, they were my first album. Call it a labor of pure love.
Q: Did you listen/watch anything (besides the obvious) for inspiration?
ProMa: I had a playlist I've been meaning to post: http://8tracks.com/professor-maka/awoken. I'll have to make it not unlisted later lol.
Q: Is it possible for Mr. Proma to do a cover the fic songs?
ProMa: It'd be hilarious but he'd side eye me hard. Very not his genre. Well, maybe the Foo Fighters. :') I would laugh so hard to hear them performed though. Maybe someday someone will perform one and make my life.
sahdah: Soul singing Pearl Jam in the shower <3
ProMa: Mr.Proma sent me that song when we were dating, it was a nod to self.
sahdah: Awwwh, such a good husbando!
ProMa: Such good husbando. Well, boyfriendu then.
Q: If you had to do it over, would there be anything you'd change?
ProMa: Hmmmmm man I just reread it. I wish I'd edited another round, because I missed some dumb reppy shit and just dumb shit. Also, the ending could be drawn out a bit. So I would do that if I had it to do again. But I was in serious time crunch mode.
Q: I am so impressed with how much fic you can crank out, Proma.
sahdah: Proma cranked out the last bit of the fic in... what was it, like 2 days?
ProMa: Yeah, the last third was very fast.
sahdah: I'm like WAIT!!! SO MUCH I NEED TO ART.
ProMa: Sahdah did her second two pieces in like two days so MASS APPLAUSE.
sahdah: /head scratch like there was so much good content!
ProMa: And those pieces are great too.
Q: How does one do that, pull out quality in such a short time?
sahdah: Copious amounts of caffeine and manic cackling with Resbang partners. <3
ProMa: I write fast under pressure. It's a skill I picked up in school that weirdly translates into creative things. Thank you, undergrad all nighters.
Q: Proma, [in the] epilogue, how does Ox fare with Kim?
ProMa: Omg Ox does not fare with Kim. She is all about dat Jackie. But I mean, he has his kingdom. Even if Spirit gives him constant shit for the rest of his days.
Q: How does Spirit react to maka moving?
ProMa: Spirit is so dejected. I haven't worked it out, but he would definitely seek Maka out. Might even just hand the kingdom to Ox eventually, and go [to the] whole other world. He will visit, that's not even arguable. That omake I will heavily consider.
Q: Proma, one thing that I was interested to see and that I think I'm glad about is that you didn't do the whole Aesop where Maka has to go back and learn how to break the curse, find happiness in her own world. While I can appreciate that message and I think it has its place, I also think that if people could really do that... there are probably people who would find a place and feel better somewhere other than their "home world." I mean, you could translate the "world" metaphor to people choosing to leave a toxic family of origin, which would be a good thing.
ProMa: Oh yeah, I was never going to go there. This was about Maka shaping her own life on her terms. I was not going for archetypes at alllll. Blair was always my choice for the fairy godmother role. It's so canon anyway. You can do some good things with that trope, it just wasn't the goal. Maka staying in her new life definitely came from the source -- even if a lot of the source is altered beyond recognition.
sahdah: I also love Maka working to improve herself on her terms. Like the details with the soufflé.
ProMa: I definitely borrowed some flavor from Wrede.
[more discussion of the vermin scene]
ProMa: That's one of the biggest actual pulls from the movie though -- I flipped it completely. Giselle summons vermin to clean the messy house. Yeah, that is not Maka. Maka just wants her crap back and she's not into the singing thing.
sahdah: Giriko! The real vermin, lol.
Q: Maka asking animals via Disney princess song to wreck Giriko's shit was one of my favorite things.
ProMa: It's Maka, she's not gonna sing to clean Soul's house, he can get off his own ass!
sahdah: Let's be real, he probably has a cleaning service, because of Mother.
ProMa: His house is spotless, there are maids. (Why a high powered lawyer in Enchanted couldn't hire a maid is beyond me.)
sahdah: Mc-Procrastinator, not Dreamy.
ProMa: Mc-raises kid in nasty house. I actually have a soft spot for pet rats, we had them in 3rd grade but an actual in my house rat would make me into a quivering pile of NOPE.
Q: Is it Mc-over? [ implied :( ]
[insert giant chorus of thanks]
ProMa: You guys asked great questions thank you! It was so much fun, I'm glad others thought so too!
sahdah: It was my pleasure, I love musicals!
ProMa: And thanks to my betas here too. Yulie and Sand saved my liiiife.
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“what am i writing” meme
Okay, so, @bizeke tagged me in a, “what are you writing right now” meme, and I’ve been trying to figure out how I wanted to answer it because, for once in my life, I don’t have a huge pile of WIPs. Like, I’m deliberately trying to rein myself in and refrain from letting the rabid plot-bunnies have their way with my brain to the point that I end up getting nothing done because I get overwhelmed by how many possibilities there are and how many ideas I have.
Let me tell you what: as a Ne-dom (ENTP), this is one of the worst punishments that I could ever imagine and I wouldn’t wish it on anybody, like, ever.
But I’m actually trying to stick to it, because it’s in the name of trying to focus on and do right by the project that is my main Thing right now, in basically all areas of life. Unfortunately for my desire for instant gratification, it’s going to be long. I mean, it’s a novel, so that’s part of the deal and one just has to suck it up and live with that, or just never write novels unless you can crank them out at a Stephen King-esque pace. Unfortunately for how much I like the community (and validation!) that comes built in with writing fan-things, it’s also original fic (which is also scary as fuck, but hey).
So, to get this part out of the way first: the “as yet untitled because I suck and titles are hard fml” project is a novel. It’s a superhero story with LGBTQ protags who are also largely neurodivergent, mentally ill, and/or otherwise disabled. The main story concerns a ragtag bunch of misfits — some of them super-powered mutants and some not — who come together in a new team and in just trying to do some good in the world for various reasons (and working together because they all realize that they can’t actually do that much on their own), they stumble into a bigger plot and wind up pitting themselves against a half-shadowy cabal of big deal neo-fascist supervillains (some mutants, and some not, though in their case, the non-mutants are generally treated like pets, rather than people and full team members).
ngl, the three biggest causes for this project were:
1. I needed a new project for my thesis because fuck this shit, I don’t wanna be in grad school anymore, and after having my project jerked around by practically everyone in my department at one point or another, the fanfic thing I settled on wasn’t working and I am really well and truly beyond fucking sick of grad school;
2. I had this one character in particular — the oft-mentioned mutant disaster, Sebastian — who I initially drew up for this game that my Sunday night tabletop group was playing last summer. The idea of there being mutant superheroes was similar, but Double Cross’s system is heavily inspired by the Parasite Eve series of video games, with a little bit from the novel that inspired them (by which I mean that the rule-book is pretty explicit about it; sure, they build on the world in their own ways to give players more options for their characters, and bring in some other influences, but they don’t hide that their primary source of inspiration is Parasite Eve).
Anyway, the Double Cross system relies a lot on character-driven drama and works it into the gameplay (one example is the “Lois” system, where you make up NPCs who help keep your character tethered to their sense of humanity, so they won’t get completely taken over by the shiny super-mitochondria that have gotten inside them and could make them turn into a monster). Additionally, I’ve been playing with my GM, Jake, since we were in high school, and I know that he likes having as much stuff to use against the characters as possible. I also know that it makes games with him more fun because he gets better ideas that way
(which is also why I knew damn well that the short, historical setting horror thing we did in January and February was going to be short, but still gave him a ten-page backstory for my French Jesuit priest that I could’ve backed up with sources for, “yes, this was actually a Thing in early to mid-17th century Paris” or, “yes, this was part of the process of becoming a Jesuit in that time period” had he asked for them)
Which, for Sebastian, meant that I started writing with the intent of it being three things
a brief apology note to Dr. Maeda (a scientist Jake borrowed from Parasite Eve because he’s a really fun character, whom Seb hadn’t really had an altercation with? But with his self-deprecating humor that almost no one else finds funny, Seb had accidentally made Dr. Maeda think that he’d offended him, and he wanted to apologize for that);
one letter to his older brother Max that would’ve been written while Seb was in rehab (which, in an idea that I straight up lifted from Augusten Burroughs’s memoir, Dry, had the prompt, “write to someone close to you and express your feelings about them and your relationship” and it had a lot of instances where Seb quoted something from Oscar Wilde’s De Profundis and somehow, whether fairly on himself or not, connected it to his and Max’s situation, in which he cast himself as a fuck-up on the level of Bosie Douglas. It also had a lot of snarky footnotes);
and one that he would’ve written to Max after the party’s first big adventure together (the major TL;DR point of which was, “ahahahaha, I was trying so hard to get my life together but oh no, shit, I fucked up and everything is terrible, you were right and I was wrong and now I can’t give you all the details of why you were right because the FBI says a lot of it’s classified but you were right and I fucked up and oh my god why” — just… with a lot of tangents and backstory and yet more snarky footnotes)
—but because I’m me, I quickly lost control of that idea.
I figured out the entire timeline of major events (largely but not entirely by hand, and in a few places, there is arguably too much detail, like how I know all of the classes that Seb took in undergrad, where it all fit into his substance abuse history, and exactly how that exacerbated his already Not Good mental health)
I did a lot of writing and a lot more revising and then more writing and then some research — like sketching out a list of TV Tropes that applied to Seb and his backstory, and by, “sketching” I mean that I listed them, and in most cases, I wrote up explanations for why he deserved the tropes or how I was trying to play with them
some of which were fairly brief (e.g., the explanation for his exact brand of being a Stepford Smiler is only 185 words, most of them actually being about how he made it to nearly 30 without having anyone suggest that he might be living with depression)
while others were kinda not (like, the 2,400-word explanation of why he got, “Angst, What Angst?” and “Conditioned to Accept Horror” on his list, which got listed together because they were part of the same larger problem and helped to fuel each other)
I went through multiple versions of all of those letters except the first one (and, in the case of the second, even made the drafts full-on “canon” things in their own right, documenting Seb’s ongoing attempts at paring a draft down enough to share in group therapy, because that was part of the in-universe conceit about why he was writing to Max in the first place)
I added other letters still (like, one to Pete that Seb was writing in rehab, with the in-universe prompt, “list 99 problems that you have that don’t have anything to do with your brother or his wife, because seriously? you’ve been going on about him so much, it’s starting to feel like you’re talking about shit with him in order to get out of talking about anything else in your life”; and one letter to Max that Seb wrote before his first overdose, which would have jossed his, “oh yeah, totally an accident, can I go back to class on Monday please” lie because it was explicitly a suicide note)
—and all up, by the time Jake decided that he was having trouble bringing things together into a larger game after the first adventure, I’d written about one order of words
”Order” here meaning, “a unit of word length measurement equivalent to the length of Harry Potter and The Order Of The Phoenix, i.e. 257,045 words”
—which I exceeded somewhat but not by enough to make too big a difference, not least since most of these drafts will not be making an appearance in the novel itself.
So, I was like, “Well, fuck. I did all of that and we’re not even going to keep playing that game? ……Screw this, I didn’t do all that work for fuck-all nothing, I’ve gotta find something else to do with Seb and his story”
This first necessitated going back to the drawing board, scrapping a lot of the stuff that was directly related to Parasite Eve or Double Cross, or finding a new way to reconfigure it so that it wasn’t just me lifting shit from either of them
Because I’m me, that led to more and more ideas coming up, which in turn pretty much guaranteed that…… okay, yes, Sebastian got to be a POV character first, because in all due fairness, he was here first and the story wouldn’t exist without him…… but he’s not quite, “the main character” in the same way that, say, Harry Potter is (nor would he really want to be)
And TL;DR: this whole thing started because I wanted to help my GM make my character suffer, only for him to drop the game, after which I didn’t want all the work I did to go to waste and be totally meaningless, so hey
and 3. ……Well, I mean. I had a lot of ideas that I kept trying to turn into fanficcy things, but at a certain point, I just had to admit that they would have gotten into, “unless you can show why this is a legit interpretation or development for these characters, it’s going to be OOC” territory
and after enough rounds of this, I gave up and went, “Okay, fuck it, FINE. Rather than try to shoehorn any of my pre-extant fictional faves into these ideas that they do not actually fit into, only for the sake of writing them as fic and getting more or less immediate Validation, I’m gonna go write my own story! With mutants! And canon LGBTQ characters! And canon neurodiversity! Because FUCK IT, that’s why!”
I guess that one could say that I finally hit, “fuck it.”
In universe, the mutant thing isn’t being treated as an oppression allegory in its own right (I say, definitely looking pointedly at the X-Men, but not exclusively at them, because in fairness, they are so not the only guilty parties here), and the issue of metahuman licensing isn’t being used as a metaphor for any example of governments illicitly keeping tabs on oppressed or marginalized people.
Like, there are still major flaws in the system and how it’s enacted on people because it’s the U.S. government, but the entire thing is treated more like taking driver’s ed and going to the DMV because the fact of the matter is that we are talking about people who have shit like super-strength, telepathy, and heat vision, and it’s fair for other citizens to want to make sure that they can control their powers, and that they know and agree to abide by certain laws about how they can and can’t use them
(e.g., yes, it is considered rape if you telepathically coerce someone into sex. Exactly what charges you’ll face vary from state to state, but it’s still rape, and unless there are some seriously extenuating circumstances — like, say, if you have two teenage telepathic mutants who didn’t know that they were mutants and thus couldn’t control their powers, so both of them have broken the law here, but unless there was some other kind of force or coercion involved, neither can be held criminally responsible — you will be prosecuted if you get caught.
Whether or not you get caught is another issue entirely, and it’s a huge mess for a lot of reasons, but in theory, this is how the law works.)
The novel I’m working on now is also going to be the first in a series of four or five — give or take “Dunk and Egg”-esque tie-in stories, mostly because I’m still a Ne-dom and, even without all the world-building being set in stone at present, I’m already attached to and intrigued by several characters and parts of my world that aren’t part of the “main” storyline
(which is, itself, already an ensemble cast production, just with focal/POV characters for each installment because otherwise, I would probably pull a GRRM, get overloaded by all of the different POVs and trying to balance them effectively, and then either die or be photographed running around in a giant hamster ball because I’m trying to run away from my problems that I created all by myself)…
…but also partly because it is annoyingly easier to find potential “legit” places to publish shorter works and get yourself “legitimately” established by putting out some of those first.
You lot get three guesses each as to why I find this annoying, the first two don’t count, and if you guess literally anything but some variation on, “But, Kassie! You’re in the exact same TL;DR club as GRRM! One of your more popular TW fics was a 23k vaguely stream of consciousness beast in which you committed the same literary sin that you bag on Marcel Proust about all the time, because almost nothing actually happened”?
……then I probably love you for having such faith in me, but you have way too much faith in me because… yeah, no. That’s pretty much it. The “legitimate” “grown-up” publishing world’s fondness for short stories annoys me entirely because I don’t like being brief, or cutting things out, or so on and so forth.
Shit, I’m having enough trouble in Pages right now today, because I decided that this one beat in one scene of the novel was getting too far into territory that is actually meant for the chapter right after it, so I’m trying to figure out where to cut it, so I can then relocate the dialogue to where it makes more sense. Trying to be succinct…… is not one of my strong suits, period.
To be fair? The novel… well. It wouldn’t be a Thing without my years in fandom and my immersion in fan culture. It just would not be possible without that part of my background.
On one hand, that’s due to how many ideas I wouldn’t have been exposed to without fandom discussing them in the different ways that we have, and how many things I wound up reading or watching because I saw that other people were enjoying them and I wanted to know what was up, and then all the criticism that I saw from fans of said things about issues of how stories and media are shaped by the sociopolitical structures that content creators live with
And on the other hand, it’s because my story is a literary pastiche that is not entirely a deconstruction of the genre, but rather a recombination of different tropes and pieces of the superhero genre, plus pieces from other genres because fuck the idea that genres can or should be strictly delineated and kept separate from each other at all times that’s why, where I acknowledge that there is little room to actually do anything that is “entirely new” — both in the sense that we’re all influenced, both consciously and not, by everything around us, so you can make the far-end argument that nothing is “purely” or “entirely new,” since that would require things to be made in a vacuum, and in the sense that… well. I mean.
Come on, I’m working in an established genre that has had several different voices and perspectives chime into it in various fashions since it first got started with the original Superman comics in 1938 (and even that is arguably not the start, since the origins of the genre go waaaay the fuck back, and almost no one writing about the genre critically likes to let it just be its own thing without bringing up precedents like Gilgamesh, Heracles, and the Scarlet Pimpernel), and even if I weren’t also bringing in things from outside the superhero genre, I would have no significant chance of doing something that hasn’t already been done at some point, by somebody, somewhere.
Moreover, uh. I get why the Ang Lee Hulk isn’t everyone’s taste, I do. It’s not my favorite anything but any means, but I enjoy parts of it. But that being said, there are, in the superhero genre, certain expectations that certain tropes and story or character elements will appear in some fashion, even if they’re being brutally deconstructed, and Ang Lee tried his best to weasel out of a lot of them because he didn’t want his movie to have the, “stigma” of being, “just a superhero movie.”
Which is a shame, because a lot of his ideas about how he wanted to interpret Bruce Banner as a character, interpret the dynamic between Bruce and the Hulk, and so on? Those actually could’ve been really fun…… but he didn’t want to make, “a superhero movie,” so he ignored the value of all the shit that he should’ve been using to actualize these ideas on the screen, and he had to essentially paste that stuff on like, “Fine, here’s your superhero bullshit, you fucking comic book nerds”
Which all sort of adds up to, “I mean, I’m trying to challenge or play with some of these genre staples — and some of the more optional ones, I’m doing away with because they’re common but not necessary and I think they’re not part of the stories I want to tell, or they’re very particular to certain mediums that are not the one I’m working in — but…… fuck, man, it’s still a superhero story. It’s not like you can’t tell superhero-influenced stories without these things, but if you’re telling a flat-out superhero story, then…… yeah, you kinda do need to at least acknowledge them, and if you don’t have some kind of appreciation for the genre, then why the fuck are you working in it”
(And this is a brief aside to point out that Ang Lee isn’t the only content creator who’s been called a genius and has been guilty of going all like, “fuck superhero stories, they’re just pointless stupid trashy kid stuff for babies, lmao” while also being involved in working on one.
The list is probably even longer than I know, but I feel especially obligated to point out that Heath Ledger had nothing but disdain for the entire superhero genre before playing the Joker in TDK, literally only agreed to do that because Christopher Nolan was involved and Batman Begins had been noticeably “higher-quality” by most people’s standards than the Joel Schumacher Batman movies and the then-extant X-Men movies, and really only seemed to have come around about the quality of certain stories that he read as character prep — like The Killing Joke, The Man Who Laughs, and Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth
—and frankly, he and Nolan both seem(ed) to see those stories [plus a handful of others, in Nolan’s case] as special exceptions were, “not like all the rest of the genre,” rather than seeing them as indications of what the entire genre can be capable of.
Which is not to say that I acknowledge the validity of any other non-Cesar Romero live-action Joker, because unless someone really wows me or they come up with an idea that Mark Hamill could do live-action and managed to talk him into it, that’s probably not going to happen, and both Nicholson and Leto can eat me because they were just awful as the Clown Prince of Crime. Awful in different ways, admittedly, but still. Just. AWFUL. Absolutely abysmal.
It’s also not to say that the superhero genre is entirely awesome, since… lmao, Sturgeon’s Law, people. 90% of everything is probably some kind of bullshit. It can be entertaining bullshit, sure, but it’s probably still some kind of bullshit.
What I am trying to say, though, is that the entire genre is not special for having a lot of bullshit in it, because frankly, EVERY GENRE has mostly a lot of bullshit in it, so holding the superhero genre to some special double standard is ridiculous and elitist, and no, we shouldn’t look at things like Watchmen, A Serious House on Serious Earth, or anything else you might want to put on a, “special exceptions” list as being separate from the genre that spawned them.
They’re superhero stories. Barring some examples like Watchmen that have characters that were new when they first came out, these stories literally have characters like Batman and Superman and Wonder Woman running around, having adventures and fighting bad guys. Being of an allegedly, “higher quality” than any random issue you pick off the rack on Wednesday does not mean that they aren’t superhero stories
—and I realize that most of the people reading this already probably kind of feel the same about the elitist nonsense that goes on regarding pretty much every example of genre fiction, except for like big-budget sci-fi and fantasy that either sticks to very conventional models, and/or is written and/or directed by someone we might call an Auteur™, like Ridley Scott, James Cameron, or Guillermo del Toro, or like GRRM would be called if he made movies
……but this tendency grinds my gears anyway because the fuck what even, people. All of the genre fiction that gets bagged on like this has an established history with enough examples to prove that they are is just as widely varied in content and “quality” as yet another movie about a cis white dude and a cis white lady who want to be together but they can’t because of Reasons Or Something, wow such innovation, very forbidden, etc. etc. obviously NO ONE has EVER told a story like this before in the entire history of human storytelling, ha ha ha, GAG)
But anyway, as I was saying. Pastiche or something.
Still, it’s not a deconstruction properly because as much as I love and am creatively indebted to some of them — with Watchmen on the, “it has problems but I overall love it even if I don’t always agree with what Alan and Dave had to say or how they said it” side, The Dark Knight Returns on the, “Frank Miller can go step on a rusty nail and get tetanus, what a douchebag” side,
Deadpool in general on the, “I mean, I respect that you have a vision of what kind of fourth wall-breaking self-aware hijinks you want to get up to, and I enjoy it sometimes, but on one hand? For all I don’t agree with everything that’s said in Wisecrack’s “Philosophy of Deadpool” video, I do think it’s fair to say that you guys often have a lot in common with hipsters, and that you have the potential to do cool shit like Cervantes did Don Quixote, but that you often don’t go as far as you could with it, which can sometimes be kinda disheartening. More importantly, though, your vision is cool and has a place at the table too, but it’s not MY vision, so you do your thing and I’m gonna do mine and if I ever do get published, I hope I can meet Gail Simone because I would just die” side
and several others falling at various points of somewhere in the middle and shit — uhhh? It’s just??? Like?
I just… don’t… really… want to write a massive deconstruction?
I mean. I enjoy reading some of them (or there are others like TDKReturns, where it’s less that I enjoy them and more that they’re important to the genre’s history but I hate them and the only reason I haven’t literally set fire to my copy of that book is that…… shit, man, that thing was expensive, and if I set it on fire, I’d have to either buy a new one or get a .cbr file for free, which would be illegal and I obviously do not condone it, nope, not at all, nudge wink ssssh)…
and I won’t deny that they’ve influenced how I approach the genre as both a reader and as a creator (I mean, ffs, I have a minor character who was literally inspired by a mix of Rorschach and my desire to petulantly piss off every fucking dudebro fanboy who reads Watchmen and doesn’t get that Rorschach is supposed to be seen as completely reprehensible. Yes, he’s a different kind of reprehensible from Eddie Blake and Adrian Veidt, but all of them are still pretty reprehensible, that’s kind of the fucking point. The only so-called “heroes” in Watchmen who accomplish anything of major historical significance are either completely reprehensible, or they’re Doctor Manhattan and so far removed from their former sense of humanity that they might as well be on a different existential plane entirely)
……but, for all I enjoy deconstructions, I don’t want to write one, personally.
And anyway, the original point to all of this is that my story wouldn’t exist as it does without fandom because, on one hand, I got exposed to pretty much all of this through/because of fandom, or while I was in fandom; and on the other, the way that fandom relies so much on envisioning new possibilities for characters and stories, and combining seemingly disparate elements into new shapes, and mashing up tropes and ideas that don’t seem to go together but finding a way to make it work…… like?
That’s shaped me so much as a writer, even outside of fandom, that I don’t know where to begin finding examples of it in action, because it’s just everywhere in my writing tbh. And I don’t think that it makes anything I’m doing, “new” as such, because I’m probably overly aware of what most of my different influences are and how they’ve influenced me in which ways and so on…… but I don’t need or want to completely reinvent the wheel, I just want to have fun making up my stories and maybe bringing in something that other people enjoy and can read without feeling like their time was wasted, y’know?
…also, I will totally admit to certain fandom mainstay tropes and idioms having different degrees of influence on my story, and to deliberately trying to work in phrases like, “to toe out of one’s shoes” that are almost exclusively found in fanfiction because…… uh, I know where I came from, and while I might have various problems with where I came from on a pretty much constant basis, I still love and respect where I came from, so why not use some of our idioms and popular tropes?
………also? I’m doing it because I want to, that’s why.
Just like how there was no actual NEED, as such, for me to make Yael and Elizabeth a deliberate middle-finger to Marvel and their penchant for baiting Cherik, and then screaming, “OH WAIT NOOOOOPE, NO HOMO, DON’T LET’S BE SILLY, CHILLAX YOU STUPID FANGIRLS!!!!” — like I could’ve had them in the story and the world without doing that…
…but I wanted to do that, so I’m gonna do that, and since I’m not violating any copyright or intellectual property laws because what I’m doing doesn’t rip off anything more than general concepts that Marvel has no exclusive or protected ownership of, and even if it did, what I’m doing would count as a commentary or satire and be protected by the First Amendment and the US Supreme Court, therefore no one can do shit about shit to stop me from having my two badass older lady lesbians who are, in fact, married and are co-headmistresses of their school for the exceptionally gifted. Nah nah nah nah nah nah, ha ha ha ha ha ha.
(……………I am a serious adult writer who takes her writing seriously. …also, I’m sorry, and I’m done now, and thank you for reading if you have, and if you got to this finishing point, please go help yourself to like…… a cookie. Or five. Or idk, any kind of treat you want, I don’t know you and I’m not your boss, so I can’t guess what your idea of a treat is much less tell you what to do. Okay, I’m done now, bye)
ETA: ……oh, and I guess that I tag whoever wants to do this themself, because I just spent a few hours writing it and I don’t wanna look at it anymore, not even to pass the meme on, so…… heeeey, free invite, you can do a meme just because you want to and then blame me
#bizeke#ella tag#memes for ts#mine: writing#that story with the mutants that i should find a working title for fml#opinions for ts#i wouldn't say that i'm being exactly critical of marvel or dc or anything that i mention by name in this#but i'm not being NOT-critical either bc i'm talking about how they all influenced my approach to the superhero genre & writing in it#and since i perpetually have some kind of criticism or some kind of problem with pretty much everything……… well.#things that vaguely resemble criticism do kinda tend to come up a bit#……also i yell for a while about the elitist bullshit that most genre fiction is subjected to and how much i hate it#because it's always a good time to hate elitist bullshit
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Top 15 Unstable Jokes
UNfortunately I have been inUNdated with work and UNable to post for just how UNbelievably excited I am for UNstable!
Okay, I’m done with that, I promise.
I should cosplay the shit outta this...
The reason I’m so excited is that I’ve never actually had a chance to play with an Unset. And honestly, as much as I love Unglued & Unhinged from a joke/gag perspective, both of them looked like kinda a pain to actually play with. Unstable, on the other hand, looks like an absolute blast. The right blend of shenanigans and actual playability.
But today, it’s all about the comedy antics. As the previews came out, I found myself laughing out loud more than once. And, as I prepare for my first draft this weekend, I find myself getting increasingly excited and amused. So today, I’m going to talk myself through the top jokes from Unstable. So let’s get cracking!
Honorable Mentions
Phoebe, Head of S.N.E.A.K. for stealing text boxes with fierce dominatrix style
Overt Operative for some top-notch flavor text
Riveting Rigger for doing it!
Masterful Ninja for being really, really fucking sneaky
Side Quest for being all too real to gamers everywhere
Old Guard for keeping us safe from whippersnappers
Krark’s Other Thumb for allowing us to thumb war with his first thumb
Faerie Aerie for dropping some sick rhymes
Do-It-Yourself-Seraph for being an inspiration to us all, sans serif
Beast in Show for reminding me that Parker Posey is fucking brilliant and needs to find her busy bee
And now, the actual countdown!
15) GO TO JAIL
I adore the idea behind this card. Send your opponent to jail a la Monopoly, and make them try to roll doubles to get out.
Gurl got a facelift
14) Sword of Dungeons and Dragons
I love this. This spin on the rest of the swords (Light & Shadow, Body & Mind, etc.) is super fun and flavorful. There aren’t many Rogues & Clerics in Unstable, or Magic in general, but they’re iconic creature types in D&D. And I love, love, LOVE the D20 roll.
13) Animate Library
Okay, not only is this card just an awesome concept of enchanting an entire fucking zone (seriously, what’s next: Enchant Battlefield? Enchant Hand? Enchant Exile?), but it also totally wins on flavor text.
Sometimes the books hit back? I LOLd.
Also, Raymond Swanland absolutely crushed it with the art on this piece.
12) Arms Depot
All of the contraptions are funny, to some degree. But this one, once I got a good look at it and understood what I was seeing, made me giggle like no other. Name, art, ability, and overall flavor are just so perfectly on point. Bravo.
11) Really Epic Punch
For those who don’t know, this is a mashup of these two cards:
Now, Maro said there was no combination of human, bear, and dragon that would be funnier than a bear smacking the dragon, but I disagree. I think having Sarkhan do a double uppercut to a bear and a dragon at the same time would be pretty fucking epic. Either way, this card is a fantastic inclusion. Well done.
10) Just Desserts
Okay, first, some education. The phrase this is playing on is “Just deserts.” Deserts are rewards or punishments deserved or owed to someone. So if you’re using the real life phrase, it’s not “just desserts,” it’s actually “just deserts.” Looks like deserts as in the Sahara, but is pronounced like desserts as in cake.
Aaaaaaanyhoo, the real reason this card earned its spot on the list is because of its flavor text. Time to put the “die” in diameter? That’s world class punning right there.
9) Extremely Slow Zombie
For this one, we’ve got to see the whole lineup:
Last strike is sheer brilliance, but what pushes this over the top is the art and flavor text. This zombie is so damn slow, it takes an entire year to not only get close enough to swipe at you, but even to tell you what it’s after. Of the common cycle of creatures with alternate art, this is my second favorite.
(Yes, the best is yet to come...)
8) Better than One
Of all the cards that seem like they’d lead towards an awesome time at draft, this seems like one of the most fun. And I love the name of the card, as it’s perfectly evocative of the saying. Also, I love the ... turtle-bird-thing in the art, and kinda want one for a pet.
7) Entirely Normal Armchair
Cheatyface 2.0 is hysterical and I adore it. This is a not only a hilarious joke when it reveals itself, but is also a super high draft pick.
Nothing to see here...
6) Infinity Elemental
So the joke behind this one has more to do with the context surrounding it than the card itself. Maro tells the story way better than I ever could, but as someone who’s been following the back and forth on the “Vanilla Mythic,” seeing this made my day.
5) Urza, Academy Headmaster
Headless Urza cracked me the fuck up when I saw it, and the fact that all his abilities are randomized abilities of other Planeswalkers is genius. (Would Urza be anything other than genius?) This is another one that’s been teased around on Blogatog for a long time, and seeing it realized is everything I could have dreamed of.
Well, not quite everything... If they had printed “Urza, Academy Headmaster can be your Commander”, that would have been everything.
But having Therese Nielsen paint this piece more than makes up for it, so I can’t really complain.
4) Target Minotaur
Unlike Really Epic Punch, which is more a joke on recent Magic, Target Minotaur is a joke on old Magic. When they needed to illustrate spells hitting creatures, they had to pick a creature that we didn’t feel bad pummeling. So minotaurs got more than their fair share of abuse in early Magic cards (along with drakes), and this is a reference to that. I especially love the umbrella he’s holding in variant B.
It’s such a small umbrella!
3) Steamflogger Boss
The prodigal rigger returns. This card was originally printed in Future Sight as a joke “future shifted” card, full of references they never intended to follow-up on. People started asking: What’s a Rigger? What’s a contraption? How are contraptions assembled? Will we ever see a set built around contraptions?
Maro will surely go through the story in more detail soon, but the short story is that it was said by the Magic Rules Manager that Contraptions would never happen, to which Mark said he’d make sure to solve them. Then Maro kept silent for years, even after he knew Unstable was happening, without revealing to the endless questioners that Steamflogger Boss, and Contraptions, were already solved. Well played, Maro, well played.
2) Crow Storm
Oh... very well played. This is the single best pun in the set, hands down. Just in case it’s not obvious, this is a riff on this card:
A sorcery called Crow Storm that makes a whole bunch of Storm Crows? My hats off to everyone at Wizards who had a hand in making this card. Bravo, Wizards team, bravo. My hats off to all of you.
Final thought on Crow Storm. Maro was asked if it could ever be a black-bordered card, and he said no, they would have had to cost it outrageously high in order to make it black-bordered. But Empty the Warrens is only 4 CMC, and that makes two creatures at a time. A lone storm card, such as Aetherflux Reservoir (yes, it is a Storm card, even if it doesn’t say so), doesn’t break a format. It’s the enablers that break formats. The free mana spells and cantrips are what make Storm cards ridiculous. I fully believe that Crow Storm could have been printed at 3U and been totally fine in black border without breaking anything.
And now, drumroll please because:
Muahahahahaha!
No, that’s not it. The last one is:
1) Very Cryptic Command
The very best joke in all of Unstable is this, the multiple variants of cards. And no card exemplifies it better than Very Cryptic Command. When this card was first previewed (variant B above), the general reaction was “nice, cool, whatever, but it’s not really anything that couldn’t be in black border with a minor tweak).
Aaaaaaaand then... different versions started appearing online. Rumors started flowing that there were alternate printings of this card. And slowly it dawned on all of us watching that the joke was on us the whole time. Drafting Unstable will be a unique experience each and every time, since you don’t know what versions of cards you’re going to get.
Simply magnificent.
And that wraps up the top jokes from Unstable. Truly, I cannot express enough how excited I am for this set.
BUT... before I sign off, I need to add one caveat. And that is that I think there are a few missed opportunities in this set. So let’s go through those really quickly.
Top 3 Missed Opportunities
3) Faerie Aerie
Wait, but wasn’t this one of my Honorable Mentions? Why yes, yes it was. The missed opportunity is that there is no card called “Faerie Derriere” in the set. Maybe it’s just the big ol’ queen in me talking, but that is a fabulous bit of rhyme, if I do say so myself.
2) Tread Mill
Love the name, love the art, just one problem. Why the crap doesn’t this actually mill your opponent? Seriously... this should crank and mill your opponent.
1) Slaying Mantis
Don’t get me wrong. I love this card. I love the art. I love everything about this card. But what I would have really loved to see was a Mantis, all dolled up like Ben Delacreme, sashaying her way down mothafucking RuPaul’s runway, throwing shade left & right.
Slaaaaaaayyy mama slay!
That card would have made my life.
Even more than Unstable already does.
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