#this has been done before but

[toastyyjams]

bonding 101

[tragicsiblings]

— (insp)

[hypertechnica]

is this anything

[mikonez]

[emphistic]

"Daddy," said Megumi, as he took his seat beside Toji on the couch, "do you love Mama?"

What a ridiculous question, Toji scoffed, flicking his son's forehead, "'course I do. Why do you think you're here?"

"Well, I love Mama more than you."

"Sure, buddy," Toji grinned, bringing his attention back to the TV.

"It's true! I love Mama thiiiiiis much," Megumi said, stretching his arms out on both sides.

Clearly amused, Toji decided to indulge in the little critter's antics for once. "Yeah? Well, that's just too bad, Megs, 'cause I love your mama thiiis much."

Obviously due to his greater height and size, the wingspan of Toji was no match for Little Megumi, who merely narrowed his eyes at his father with an adorable pout on his lips.

"Whatever, that's cheating!" Megumi huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "Mama loves me more, anyway."

"Nah."

It's needless to say, that, Toji's made tons and tons of children cry before in his lifetime. But, he's never made a child FIGHT him. Well, there's a first for everything. And, anywho, it's clear whose genes dominate when it comes to your son. (Personality and looks wise.)

[twodragonsinatrenchcoat]

Talking to myself out loud like a point and click protagonist

[atrustfulplace]

imagine: you are chilling in front you your house getting high. along comes an old family friend who you last saw when you were six, you are now in your 50s. after a brief convo where he is kind of a dick to you, he’s like damn you’ve changed :/. and your like yeah bestie it’s been five decades why the fuck are you here. he leaves. later that night a shit ton of people show up and trash your house. just throw and absolute rager. halfway through the family friend from earlier shows up. he announces in full earshot of everyone that he wants you to come with him to rob a bank. you of course say wtf??? one of the people who broke into your house calls you a pussy. another person shoves you a contract which declares if you get shot robbing the bank they will not pay for your funeral. you pass out. when you wake up you find the contract on your table and your house almost completely back to normal. you stare at the contract for a moment and decide, fuck it this is just as a good a midlife crisis than anything.

this is what happened to bilbo baggins

[officersnickers]

[cybervom1t]

she let me hit because i say things like “okie dokie”

[jarondont]

You want me to introduce myself? The thing that almost killed Odysseus?

[must-be-mr-boggins]

Taking a 5-second break from the Bagginshield angst to bring you this meme I created after an all-nighter, enjoy.

[disgustingtwitches]

threesome with Kyle and Johnny and you are reminded that Johnny is so smart he's stupid:

Soap: can I finish inside you

You: yeah I have an IUD

Soap: you got a bomb in your pussy?

Kyle: that's an IED you absolute clownshoe

...

Kyle: you are a demolitions specialist

[izzenithal]

Percy “Has Been Waiting to Use This Meme as an Excuse” Jackson, and Annabeth “Never Seen a Meme” Chase

[multongsisig]

She asks that I tell you to remember her. You won't.

[chloesimaginationthings]

William is the most divorced man in the FNAF universe

[tartanthermos]

Good Omens S1E1 | S2E6