#this has been brought to you by character portraits no background squad

[greywoe]

winterfell boyband; winterfell boyband but make it small; little princes of winterfell

[skammovistarplus]

Culture and Translation - S01 E10

After the cut, lots of thoughts of bullying and betrayals. Also, me trying to get through these quick before season 2 starts dropping. 

CLIP 1: And now, for a lot of thoughts on bullying

¿Con las clases empezadas? (“Mid-term?”): Nora asks Eva something like, “with school having started?” I reworked it as it sounds awkward.

Es que no me entra nada (“I have no appetite”): Eva says something like, “I can’t get anything inside.” Again, no one says this in English.

Okay, so when this clip dropped, there were some discussions on twitter. Firstly, as someone who has attended high school in the US and Spain, I don’t believe Nora would be nicknamed Joan of Arc at an American high school. I don’t think Joan of Arc is that well-known of a figure that side of the Atlantic. Joan of Arc is a fairly recognizable figure in Spain because she is a Roman Catholic saint, and Spanish culture is highly influenced by Catholicism. In my opinion, a person like Nora, living in Wisconsin, would be called a SJW or a snowflake or something along those lines. The issue is, Spanish people don’t understand what those nicknames would mean. They would, however, understand the nuances of getting called Joan of Arc.

Then there is another issue. Nora says, “I swear that, in the US, being a freak is a lot worse than here.” That raises some questions, because the kind of bullying Eva is victim to, is actually really serious. I believe she has it the worst out of all the Evas. To recap: She has been abandoned by all her friends except for Nora. People are talking about her and pointing at her. People throw notes at her, and she is the victim of 24/7 cyberbullying, which involves a picture of the Eva/Cristian kiss and defacing the pictures posted to her ig. This has been going on for around a week. Tyler Clementi, to name a notable victim of cyberbullying, suffered under similar circumstances.  

So, since Nora is speaking from personal experience, how severe was the bullying she suffered in Madison, the bullying that makes her say that, “in the US, being a freak, is a lot worse” than what Eva is experiencing. Some viewers felt that Nora was minimizing the bullying Eva was going through, as Nora only mentions namecalling, being nicknamed Joan of Arc. Spanish teen viewers (the target audience) felt that Nora was exaggerating what “being a freak” is like at an American high school. That is because Spanish teens’ knowledge of American high school comes from, you guessed it, TV shows and movies. In particular, a movie that was brought up in the comments to the clip was The Perks of Being a Wallflower. When this movie was dubbed for Spaniards, the title was translated as “Las ventajas de ser un marginado” (Perks of being marginalized). Now, you will agree that being marginalized is a lot stronger than being a wallflower, and so that led to the impression from certain viewers that being bullied in the US is a glamorous affair where your best friends are Ezra Miller and Emma Watson, you eat cannabis brownies, drive through tunnels for the aesthetics and go to school dances.

In short, this clip attempted to broach the topic of bullying in the US as compared to bullying in Spain, to an audience who has no real references of what American high school culture is like, outside of American popular culture. And to do so, they gave an unrealistic example (American students using Joan of Arc as a demeaning nickname), failed to explain why Nora would feel that bullying at US schools is “a lot worse” than what Eva is experiencing (which barely holds up as an argument, as what Eva is going through has led students in the US to grievous harm), and led more educated viewers to wonder about the extent of the bullying Nora went through. And while bullying at American high schools is an important topic, should that be a topic that Skam ESPAÑA deals with? Is it relevant to the average Spanish teen’s experience? Personally, I feel like the writers may have bitten off more than the show can possibly chew, with this narrative choice, which informs Nora’s character as it is her backstory.

On a lighter note, Nora compares Eva to a dog, which should imply her stance on dogs isn’t so hard-line. The word she uses, “galletitas,” can mean a number of different things in Spanish. Generally speaking, “galletas” are cookies, but they may also be biscuits, salty crackers, or yes, dog food. I went with “kibble” to keep to the dog-related teasing.

Again, the characters suggest that Eva talks to her mom, but she doesn’t. As I mentioned, this is generally true of Spanish teens (we aren’t a hivemind after all), and more specifically, of bullying victims. One of the biggest issues about bullying in Spain is that victims take up to a year to tell their parents.  

CLIP 2: Learn English with Skam España

Okay, so this is definitely more about the effects on bullying than culture or translation anymore. Is everyone in that library talking about Eva? At this point, it no longer matters for either Eva or the viewer. The bullying she has gone through so far has made it so that both Eva and the viewer now feel paranoid that everyone is talking shit about Eva while Eva is present. Maybe those guys are just checking 9gag! But since they took out their phones at the same time Eva got an IG notification, it feels like they are definitely mocking Eva. I thought Eva’s actress was great through the entire bullying arc, and I liked that Skam España expanded on the bullying sl from the og, so that we could get a fuller portrait of the effects of bullying on their victims.

¿Con qué estás? (“What are you studying?”): The literal translation would be, “What are you with?” I.e. What subject are you working on right now.

When did Amira take that Bio test? She’s supposed to be in Eva’s group (we saw her in the third clip and she’s also on the Science track), but of course, that test was all about Eva and Lucas’ friendship angst.

Phrasal verbs are the bane of every ESL student’s existence, Cris included.

No seas plasta (“don’t be a pain in the ass”): “Plasta” is a synonym of “pesado/pesada,” which I already covered in an earlier post. It literally means “flattened mass.”

Me cago en la puta (“shit on a whore”): More pooping! Now we’re pooping right on top of prostitutes! But yeah, that’s the literal translation and, you know, sometimes you want to find the closer English equivalent, and other times, you just want to make sure people understand who or what we’re pooping on this time. Cris is really frustrated with her English skills, so she uses one of the stronger pooping variations.

This was one of the clips that were most fun to translate, for the challenge of translating an English quiz to English.

CLIP 3: Mess

Es que ya hay que tener mala hostia (“You really gotta be a fucking asshole”): “Tener mala hostia” is the stronger versión of “tener mala leche” (literally, to have bad milk). A person with “mala leche” is someone who acts in bad faith, a malicious or a bad-tempered person. The idiom comes from the idea that a mother’s breastfeeding milk can have an impact on her person’s temper or personality. “Hostia,” as we’ve covered, is the sacramental bread used for the ritual of the Eucharist, but it’s used more commonly to mean a smack across the face.

Cris makes a point of singling out the person who first uploaded the pic to instagram. When I link Skam España to people, I point out that they should also follow the social media posts, and here’s the reason. If you follow the social media posts, you already know who first uploaded the picture to instagram. It was Inés. The hate ig took it from her stories, cropped it, and posted the first meme. The sequence of events is clear if you followed the show in real time. However, if you bingewatch the episodes and don’t follow social media, you get the impression that, at this point, how the Eva/Cristian picture made it to the hate ig is a mystery. And also, that whoever uploaded it first (who we know to be Inés) is the one with beef against Eva. And, well, there’s beef of the level of “I uploaded a compromising pic to my stories to be a dick” and beef on the level of “I’ve vandalized all your pictures, turned you into a meme and covertly filmed you at school.”

This confrontation is so odd when you consider that, unlike the og girl squad who didn’t know about the letter written in period blood, the Spanish girl squad suspects the second years of being behind the hate ig. In fact, they know the girls have pulled similar shit before. And, best of all, Cris actually hooked up with one of them, so you’d think Cris’ presence might help matters?

The second year girls have a different Maths teacher. This one is a guy. The girl squad’s Maths teacher is a woman.

I find it funny that Rubén was suspended for three days for fighting with ALEJANDRO, but ALEJANDRO was not punished himself.

I just noticed that there should be an “into” in the sentence, “People are huge assholes and anything can turn INTO a joke to laugh your ass off.” Oops.

CLIP 4: Failing grade in Biology and in Friendship

As noted in the subs, in Spain we’re graded on a 0-10 scale. 5 is the passing grade. Lucas got an 8, which is considered a “notable” grade, but not “outstanding” (those are grades over 9). Eva got a 3, which is well below 5. Much like Isak, Lucas is good enough in Biology that he does well in surprise exams. He seems to be resentful of what this grade might do to his GPA though, lol.

Lucas says that his mom was hysterical after his dad left, but the language he uses doesn’t make it explicit that his mom is mentally ill. The writers may or may not keep this part of Isak’s background. Thought I’d mention that since we know at this point that they have no issues giving the Skam España characters entirely different backgrounds. So far, it’s clear that Lucas’ parents fight a lot and that his home life is massively impacting Lucas’ mood and life, but we don’t know what the fights are about.

¿Para esto vienes de buenas a hablar conmigo? (“Is this why you talked to me like nothing happened?”): “de buenas” is kind of tricky to translate. You can come at someone “de buenas” (good) or “de malas” (bad). If you come at someone “de malas,” it means you’re already on a bad mood when you start a conversation, or you’re angling for a fight. On the other hand, if you come at someone “de buenas,” it means you’re in a conciliatory mood, or trying to avoid a fight.

CLIP 5: Hi privileges

Comiéndoos la boca (“Sucking face”): Inés actually says that Jorge and Eva were eating each other’s mouths. This is a common Spanish idiom, by the way!

El insta es muy jodido (“Insta is a mindfuck”): Eva says that Insta is “really fucked up,” as in, it does a number on one’s mental health. I went with “mindfuck” to get to the point of what Eva means, but keeping the swear word.

Eva asks Inés why she stayed friends with Jorge, but not her. I saw some commentary to the tune of, “why did they add that bit of dialogue? It adds nothing to the conversation, we already know this.” Personally, I think it’s good that they added it, because it’s a good starting point for a discussion, and particularly when it comes to the s2 storyline. Skam has gotten massive kudos for promoting sorority and friendship between girls. However, the s2 storyline is about Noora being forced to choose between her friend and a boyfriend. Vilde never dated William, but the storyline shares some of the same elements: Eva is torn between a guy she likes who likes her back, and her friend who is in love with that guy. So is Noora. Skam offers two outcomes to that scenario. Eva’s decision results in her expulsion from her friend group, while ultimately the girl squad friendship is stronger after Noora’s season.

Inés says she assumed that boyfriends come and go, but that she thought she’d stay friends with Eva forever. Was Eva Mohn right in choosing a boyfriend over her best friend? Was Eva Vázquez (since, thanks to the bonus clip, we know more of how Eva and Jorge got together)? Was Inés right to hold a grudge against Eva? And if she was right to do so, was she right to not hold a grudge against Jorge?  Is it ever okay to choose a boyfriend over your friends?

Again, if you haven’t kept up with the social media, Inés’ apology may seem confusing. It seems like she admits to being the person behind the hate ig, but then why would she not take credit for the meme? The first profile to make a meme out of the Eva/Cristian pic was eva_la_z0rra (or eva_the_s1ut). That’s because Inés is not behind the hate ig. She just uploaded the pic to her stories. I have noticed that people who didn’t keep up with the social media posts assume Inés took responsibility for the hate ig, which is interesting. You could watch og Skam without the social media posts and the story would be exactly the same than if you’d watched it with the social media posts. Social media added characterization details. When it comes to Skam España, you come away with two very different conclusions as to who ran the hate ig, depending on your level of investment (reading and watching everything vs just watching the episodes).

Retirar el saludo (“to snub someone”): This idiom doesn’t come up in the clip itself, but it gives cultural context to Eva and Inés’ conversation. In the course of a day, we say hi to everyone we know that we come across. We don’t necessarily stop and have a conversation, but we acknowledge them with a “hi” or a “how are you doing.” In Spain, we have a specific idiom for when someone’s fucked up and has lost their “hi” privileges. This is “retirar el saludo” (literally, “to remove the greeting”). Through the conversation, Eva seeks to get her “hi” privileges back, and eventually Inés agrees she will say “hi” to Eva when they see each other at school/around the neighborhood/at parties or botellones. It doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll stop to talk and catch up, but Eva now gets to be told “hi.”  

Social media: 

Cris turned 16 this week! I love that the writers specifically picked her birthdate so that it would fall on a day where the girl squad was still broken up. Needless to say, people were very salty in the comments, heh.

I’ve liked the way Skam España has referenced the og with similar social media pics, Kose Club, and song choices. Referencing songs from the og on insta is actually clever as it helps them circumvent music license issues, lol. That said, I think naming the Spanish girl squad after the og girl squad name Las Losers would be far too much. I hope they leave it at that, just a reference on a text update.

[archonreviews]

The Archon’s Review of Fate/Grand Order

Fate/Grand Order is a turn-based, party-based(?), card-battling(?), free-to-play role-playing game-type thing for Android and iOS from Delightworks, based on the Fate/ series, which began with the visual novel, Fate/ stay night. In this world, every so often, the Holy Grail appears out of thin air. This triggers a “Holy Grail War”, in which a number of magicians and magic-users summon various figures from myth and legend to do battle. The last one standing gets the Holy Grail. The present year is 2017 (2015 if you’re Japanese or an extreme weeaboo), and the Chaldea Organization, a group of magicians and scientists have been keeping humanity alive with their various pretentiously-named projects. However, their model of 100-years-from-now Earth suddenly goes dark, implying total devastation, and the head of the organization organizes an expedition to a previous time period to figure out what the deal is. Suddenly, everything goes dark and many major functions shut down. You (generic protagonist de jure), a shieldmaiden named Mash, and a scientist named Romani are the only humans left in Chaldea’s base, so you must go back in time alone to figure out why humanity is in peril.

Jegus fuck, that was the longest intro paragraph.

So the Archon is reviewing a not-PC game for once. Will the wonders never cease? Well, I wanted to review this because I think it’s interesting for two reasons. First, there are a couple of elements of this game that stand out strongly to me that I want to address; and second, I’ve actually been playing this for quite some time, when usually I only give a game the standard two weeks.

The gameplay is entirely combat-based. There are dialogue choices in the story, but they mean absolutely nothing, bugger all, squat, zilch. But the combat is fun! You take a squad of Heroic Spirits to do battle against undead, dragons, shadows, and other magical enemies, and sometimes other Heroic Spirits. When it’s your turn, you pick three cards from a set of five, your selection choices being dependent on your squad. Each card has a squadmate and a color; red, green, or blue. Red cards deal more damage, green cards increase your critical hit rate on the next turn, and blue cards increase the squadmate’s special attack gauge. Your squad then makes the selected attacks in the selected order, and then the enemies retaliate. You always go first, which makes combat significantly easier. Furthermore, I find that because each mission is broken up into two to four combat encounters, the optimal strategy is to build up your squadmates’ special gauges, then wait to unleash them on the final battle in the mission. So, the combat is fun, if a bit on the easy side as long as you pick the right missions to complete relative to the power level of your squad.

^(Also, much like Uno, you’ve gotta match either character or color to get chains for additional bonuses.)^

The aesthetics are another great part of the game. See, most mobile games tend not to have graphics. Oh certainly, they have pictures, and sometimes those pictures move slightly, but most mobile games don’t really have their elements move in any significant way. F/GO, however, has it’s models fully mobile, with fluid motion and beautiful backgrounds. It really looks more like a DS or a PSP game rather than a mobile game. This was an unexpected surprise, to say the least.

^(I mean, look at these. The character models look like they belong in a real anime, and those backgrounds... For a mobile game, the graphics are friggin’ stellar.)^

Of course, good graphics and fun gameplay come at cost. First off, those graphics? Probably why the game eats up phone battery like nothing else. Thirty minutes of this game brought my phone battery from 100% to 28%. So, I suppose if you want to play this game in a truly mobile fashion, bring a portable charger.

Also, like most mobile free-to-play games, the interface is pretty cluttered. It’s not as bad as most such games, but it’s still more cluttered than is perhaps wise for a game to be.

^(The main battle screen. Note the array of various buttons and graphics obscuring the characters. I don’t think the devs needed to make the character portraits quite so large.)^

Lastly (and perhaps this’ll be a deal breaker), the game is grind-tastic. It’s not as noticeable in the beginning, when your squad is fairly weak, and you have less need for the items used to boost your dudes. But later on, when you have a stronger team, you’ll be grinding like a fucking fiend for those statues or feathers or XP boosters or what have you. The drop rates for higher-tier items are maddeningly low.

Now, this game being F2P, you don’t just get your dudes for free or from story events. You gain most of your dudes from what, in mobile gaming jargon, is called a “gacha machine”. Essentially, you spend in-game currencies on a randomized selection of dudes, and only once in a very blue moon will you get a truly exceptional one. We’re talking like, a 4% chance of getting any dudes who are above average. That white-haired lady on the left in my screenies? She’s considered a five star dude, out of five, and getting her felt like Christmas in June. In a way, it sort of works in the game’s favor, as getting a four-star or five-star dude to drop feels nothing short of miraculous. You know what they say: “Don’t do drugs.” Also, “You won’t appreciate it unless you have to work hard for it.”

The game has a plot, but it’s a bit understated. All that stuff in the first paragraph? Well, it leads to you going to alternate versions of different time periods where things have gone tits-up as the result of the Holy Grail existing. Your goal is always to restore the time period to its normal state, but in between, you get fairly repetitive dialogue, and for a game that uses figures from all across history and legend, you’d think they could have done more with them.

^(Prepare to see scenes like this one a lot.)^

Of course, there’s the everpresent microtransactions, but here, they’re remarkably unobtrusive. You actually have to go looking for them, and the only thing you can buy is currency for the gacha machine. However, I don’t think the rates are very good, but I don’t have much to compare it to, given my propensity for not buying into microtransactions very much.

I would definitely recommend F/GO, especially if you’re in the market for a new free-to-play, or if you’re a fan of the Fate/ series. In fact, I’m going to continue playing long after this review goes up. Even with the game’s problems, the combat is fun enough, the goodies rare enough, and the graphics pretty enough to keep me going. What social statements this game makes are hard to judge, even harder than usual, this being a Japanese game. Looking through that cultural lens, there probably isn’t anything much to say. Of course, when thinking about American sensibilities, a few things may pop up. Fanservice, while infrequent, can get pretty egregious in this work (looking at you, Mata Hari). That’s really the only social commentary I can make on the game in that vein, but I suppose I should mention one more thing in case anyone gets confused. The Fate/ series as a whole has a peculiar habit of taking male historical figures, making them female, and changing the name slightly. Arthur Pendragon becomes Altria Pendragon, Attila the Hun becomes Altera the Hun, etc. It would be an interesting posit: what if many of history’s big names were actually women? How would that change our view on gender politics and gender roles today? Sadly, the game and the series as a whole only nods to those questions, and it is entirely likely that the decision to make these figures women was born from a desire to give absolute cretins (myself included) “waifu-material”.

Really, this game is pretty rad, and if you’re a fan of F2P games, and mobile games, you should check it out.

^(Eat your heart out, Skyrim; F/GO’s dragons are too massive for the screen!)^

[booklover277]

The Girls by: Emma Cline

3.5 stars out of 5

Girls—their vulnerability, strength, and passion to belong—are at the heart of this stunning first novel for readers of Jeffrey Eugenides’ The Virgin Suicides and Jennifer Egan’s A Visit from the Goon Squad.

Northern California, during the violent end of the 1960s. At the start of summer, a lonely and thoughtful teenager, Evie Boyd, sees a group of girls in the park, and is immediately caught by their freedom, their careless dress, their dangerous aura of abandon. Soon, Evie is in thrall to Suzanne, a mesmerizing older girl, and is drawn into the circle of a soon-to-be infamous cult and the man who is its charismatic leader. Hidden in the hills, their sprawling ranch is eerie and run down, but to Evie, it is exotic, thrilling, charged—a place where she feels desperate to be accepted. As she spends more time away from her mother and the rhythms of her daily life, and as her obsession with Suzanne intensifies, Evie does not realize she is coming closer and closer to unthinkable violence, and to that moment in a girl’s life when everything can go horribly wrong.

Emma Cline’s remarkable debut novel is gorgeously written and spellbinding, with razor-sharp precision and startling psychological insight. The Girls is a brilliant work of fiction—and an indelible portrait of girls, and of the women they become.

Release Date: June 14, 2016

All that time I had spent readying myself, the articles that taught me life was really just a waiting room until someone noticed you - the boys had spent that time becoming themselves.

For the most part, The Girls is well-written. It is poignant and thought-provoking. Sometimes, however, the prose was a bit too much. The pacing is a bit off because of this. Emma Cline can certainly write. I just think in this particular novel you expect something big to happen at certain points and for the lull in events to ultimately result in a huge payout. When it never does, it inevitably feels like a letdown.

You shouldn't read this book if you're expecting murder, violence, or a total mindfuck. You shouldn't read it if you want a deeper insight into what is supposed to be a cult based on Charles Manson's. You shouldn't read this if you are expecting a thriller. You should read this if you're looking for an introspective coming of age story set in 1969 following a fourteen year old girl who falls in with the infamous cult.

but the familiarity of the day was disturbed by the path the girls cut across the regular world. Sleek and thoughtless as sharks breaching the water.

Anyone who knows about the Manson cult and how things ended up has probably wondered how these girls even got caught up in such a thing. How did they end up in the cult? How could you be driven to murder for someone? While these specific questions do not get answered, we do see how a certain girl could fall in with the crowd (Evie, specifically). I found myself wondering more about the other girls: Suzanne, Helen, Roos, Donna. (I even wondered how Russell got to be where he is..even though the title is The Girls). What life moments set you on that path?

Perhaps I would have enjoyed this more if it had been set from another girl's perspective, say Suzanne. Or if there were just multiple viewpoints given. Although I know that defeats the purpose of Evie being middle aged looking back on the time she was with the cult and what it was that brought her to them. The novel was spun from Emma Cline's mind as she wondered about why someone peripherally involved in the Manson cult would want to actively make that apart of their identity decades later.

We are only ever in the mind of Evie, so we only see "the girls" from her perspective. There is no look into the minds of the other girls because I know we all are dying to know what makes them tick. The characters lack any real development. Evie, however, is who we get a deeper insight on. And, oh man did Emma Cline get certain aspects about being an adolescent girl just so right. This is where I found myself appreciating the novel. It gets raw, honest, and so real.

Connie paled in comparison: I didn’t really believe that friendship could be an end in itself, not just the background fuzz to the dramatics of boys loving you or not loving you.

While you know what will happen in the 1969 events and wait for that ball to drop, I kept waiting for something big to happen in Evie's present day storyline. It really bothered me when nothing ever happened.

Emma Cline is one I'll be watching for because her writing is indisputably promising regardless of my issues with this particular novel. This was still a strong debut.

goodreads

order on book depository

[gadgetsrevv]

Abdelhak Nouri: The Ajax prodigy who suffered permanent brain damage

Abdelhak Nouri of Ajax (left) suffered permanent brain damage after collapsing during a 2017 pre-season friendly

It is a Saturday afternoon in Geuzenveld, a quiet suburb on the outskirts of Amsterdam. Three hundred metres away from the main station, children are playing football. On the fence behind one of the goals, a large banner dominates the scene.

‘Appie 4 Ever.’

Geuzenveld is not a touristic part of the Dutch capital. But this playground has sadly become a pilgrimage spot for Ajax fans and football lovers alike.

This is where Abdelhak Nouri, known as Appie, learned his first tricks and flicks in football. It was where he emulated Andres Iniesta, Kaka and Ronaldinho. It was where he honed his fine technique and ball control before making it as a professional.

“Appie still came back here even after being promoted to Ajax’s first team,” one of the kids says. He points with pride at a large flag depicting one of Nouri’s iconic moments – his first senior goal, on 21 September 2016.

Nouri, 22, was one of the most promising footballers of Ajax’s academy. He belonged to the same generation of talent that helped the club reach last season’s Champions League semi-finals. But his career came to a tragic end.

He collapsed in a friendly game against Werder Bremen during a pre-season tour in the Austrian Alps on 8 July 2017. He is now in a hospital bed with permanent brain damage.

Ajax later admitted their medical team’s treatment of Nouri was ‘inadequate’

Before that fateful match at the tiny Lindenstadion Hippach, about 65km from Innsbruck, Nouri had suffered stomach pains and had not slept well. Conditions in the Alps that day were very hot. Still, he played, replacing Hakim Ziyech after half-time.

In the 72nd minute, Nouri slowed and moved gently to the ground, turning back to look up at the sky.

It took 10 seconds for the referee to realise that he was down and summon for medical attention. Another 10 seconds passed before the Ajax physio arrived. Fifteen seconds later, the club doctor was at Nouri’s side too.

When Ajax striker Klaas-Jan Huntelaar panicked, the Werder Bremen players reacted too and the German team’s doctor also rushed on to the pitch. They formed a circle around Nouri. Some players started crying. Others were praying.

After three minutes of treatment, the players around began to realise this was not a normal injury. Nouri was suffering cardiac arrest. It had taken longer than expected to understand that.

Two local medics arrived and connected a defibrillator around seven minutes after Nouri had collapsed. In the meantime, local doctor Daniel Rainer received a call and rushed to the stadium.

“The message I received was: person unconscious on the football pitch. When I arrived, resuscitation was in process and the patient was already defibrillated,” he told Dutch paper De Volkskrant.

“The patient had received medication to stimulate circulation. I continued resuscitation and after 13 minutes of treatment, we reached the recovery of spontaneous heartbeat and breathing.”

A helicopter arrived to take Nouri to hospital in Innsbruck. His family members would join him soon. It took longer for his dad to come, since he was in Morocco.

In hospital, while Nouri was in an induced coma, the first signs were positive – heart and brain tests were OK. But after a few days, when his family had arrived, further tests showed he had suffered serious brain damage.

Almost a year later, in June 2018, Ajax admitted that their medical treatment of Nouri was “inadequate”.

In a statement, Ajax chief executive Edwin van der Sar, the former Fulham and Manchester United goalkeeper, said cardiologists studying new evidence put forward by the family found too much time was spent clearing Nouri’s airways.

Van der Sar said the club medics had been “insufficiently focused on measuring the heartbeat, circulation, and resuscitation”.

A defibrillator should also “have been used sooner”, he said, adding: “Had this happened, it’s possible that Abdelhak would have come out in a better condition. This isn’t certain, but it’s a possibility.

“We recognise our responsibility and liability for the consequences of this.”

In the playground that now bears Nouri’s name, a young man playing basketball greets the visitor in Arabic. “As-salamu alaykum,” he says. He is used to seeing strangers, the many people who bring flowers.

The Nouri family live just around the corner. His younger sisters are outside, chatting with friends. Nouri is one of seven children.

Geuzenveld has plenty of migrant communities. Mohammed Nouri, his father, came from Morocco and for many years worked in a butcher’s not far from Anne Frank’s house in Amsterdam’s trendy Jordaan neighbourhood.

“I can still see him playing with a small ball, all around where you are sitting,” Mohammed says, as Rabia, the player’s mother, offers mint tea and Moroccan delicacies. This has always been their home.

Frenkie de Jong (L) and Nouri (r) arrive with their Ajax team mates before the 2017 Europa League final against Manchester United in Sweden. Nouri was not named in the matchday squad

In Mohammed’s phone, with his son’s portrait as its background, there are plenty of pictures of football characters that have paid homage to Nouri. “So much love for him from all over the world, so many people asking for him, so many nice gestures,” he says in grief.

Juventus forward Cristiano Ronaldo sent him a ‘Happy Birthday’ video message. Barcelona’s Ousmane Dembele played with Nouri’s name and number stitched into his boots. In his first season at Roma, Justin Kluivert chose to wear the number 34 – Nouri’s squad number – as did Manchester City’s Philippe Sandler, Napoli’s Amin Younes and Fiorentina’s Kevin Diks. They were all team-mates of Nouri at De Toekomst, the Ajax academy.

The Eredivisie title Ajax won last season – their 34th league success – was dedicated to him. With his dad and his brothers on stage at the victory ceremony, alongside the Ajax squad, the Nouri family was at the heart of celebrations.

Nouri had played with the number 34 since his senior debut. Growing up, he shone in many youth international tournaments, always accompanied by his dad. His name had already been shortlisted by several of Europe’s top clubs even at a young age. His vision earned him quick comparisons to Iniesta, one of the players he looked up to. He was always obsessed with attacking football.

But for Nouri, being at Ajax – the club he supports – was a dream. He started at seven years old and never left.

He was 19 when he first played for the first team, in September 2016. By the summer of 2017, he had been permanently promoted from the youth ranks to Ajax’s first-team squad, having been named player of the season.

“I still remember when he was a ball boy and he’d come to see the games with me, always asking first, in a very respectful way, if I wouldn’t mind,” recalls David Endt, who was Ajax’s general manager between 1997 and 2013.

“We didn’t need many words. After each good pass, each nutmeg, every special little thing, we’d just stare at each other. ‘Wow! Have you seen that?’ It was a conversation with our eyes.”

Nouri was considered among the best talents of his generation – not just in Ajax but across Europe. He was named in the team of the tournament at the Under-19 European Championship of 2016.

He always played as a number 10, the one who connected midfield and attack. A hook, as they say in Spanish.

In a very special way, he still brings people together.

He is Dutch, a proud Amsterdamer. And he is also a Muslim of Moroccan ancestry. Even if his name is Abdelhak, he carries a nickname that is short for Albert. He is an ambassador for a community that is often overlooked or misunderstood.

“When he was taken back to Amsterdam, something unique happened,” Endt says.

“The neighbourhood became an epicentre of grief, but also a place of communion beyond football colours or religion. You’d see just a grieving community, united, and in a way, it is what he does, he still unites.”

‘Stay Strong Appie’, the slogan that became a symbol of hope on social media, is also reflected in the entrance of Ajax’s club museum, next to the Johan Cruyff Arena. Three jerseys bearing number 34 compose the message. A shrine dedicated to him was inaugurated days before Ajax played their first game after Nouri collapsed, a Champions League fixture against Nice.

The game was interrupted in the 34th minute, as players and fans clapped in tears.

It was Davinson Sanchez’s last game for Ajax in Amsterdam before moving to Tottenham. After the game, he said: “Appie is such a funny guy, always bringing positive energy to the dressing room. That smile that he had… that he has…”

And then he paused.

“This is something very difficult to understand, such a young professional. It is a blow that life cannot explain.”

All of Nouri’s team-mates, along with former players and Dutch officials, visited the house in Geuzenveld when Nouri was brought back to Amsterdam. It was a heartbreaking moment.

Two of the best players from his generation, Frenkie de Jong and Donny van de Beek, are among Nouri’s best friends.

Van de Beek would spend some nights at Nouri’s house after the accident, next to his friend’s bed, just like when they were kids. When he scored the equaliser against Juventus, in the game that Ajax ended up winning 2-1 in Turin in April, Van de Beek pointed to the back of his jersey in tribute.

“I looked at the screen and I saw my goal was in the 34th minute. It had to be him, you have to think,” he said.

Mohammed Nouri no longer works as a butcher. He was suffering too much from a shoulder injury after years of chopping meat, and he has to take care of his son. He now spends 24 hours in the hospital, then comes back home and switches with Nouri’s brothers, Mohammed and Abderrahim, and his mother Rabia. The routine is performed every day of the week. There is always someone next to Nouri, talking to him, trying to communicate.

Since Nouri left his coma and gained a low level of consciousness, there have been some indications of improvement in his condition, including very limited communication – eyebrow signs used for answering questions with yes or no. The Nouri family are deeply religious and have faith that he will recover, despite what the science says: that recovery is extremely unlikely but not impossible.

Before signing for Barcelona this summer, De Jong visited him in the hospital, to break the news. Every stimulus is positive.

The Nouris are also renovating a house to accommodate their son so he can leave the hospital, and are developing the Nouri Foundation to promote sports and integration for people with disabilities.

“Here beats an Ajax heart” reads one of the flags placed close to Nouri’s house by one of the club’s fans.

In his home city and beyond, Appie will always be revered, and never forgotten.

Nouri’s brother acknowledges and thanks fans who gathered outside his family home in July 2017

Fans gather outside the Nouri family home on 14 July 2017 in Amsterdam

Nouri made 15 senior appearances for Ajax, scoring once and providing three assists

Ajax fans display a giant banner depicting Nouri before a Champions League qualifying third round match against Nice in August 2017

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[ozziegrl5]

A Dream Posting

This story is my background to a character I created for a RolePlayGame and takes place in the lead up to a posting to the ‘Battlestar Empyrean’ for Lt. Jessa "Vixen" Thrace. Some of the later content contains violence, though nothing that hasn't been shown on the re-imaged Battlestar Galactica. There is also some language that has been used on the show. I hope you enjoy.

******************

The young girl anxiously waited by the door, her mother in the kitchen preparing the evening meal.

"He'll be home soon Jess. Watching for him won't make him get here any sooner. A watched pot never boils sweetheart."

With another scan of the street outside, a very reluctant Leonis youngster walked back into the kitchen, flopping down onto one of the chairs. She folded her hands across the the table in front of her and laid her head on them so that she could watch her mother preparing dinner.

"He's been gone for ages Mum... I miss him"

"I miss him too sweetheart."

Indeed, her Father had been out on a long patrol attached to the Battlestar Pegasus for the last two months. She was excited that he was coming home tonight. He'd been in touch with them, telling them what time roughly he would be home. Her mother smiled down at her, knowing that she was her father's daughter and would likely follow in his footsteps. They were a very loving, close knit family. Hearing the door open, Jessa was on her feet, running full pelt and throwing herself into her fathers waiting arms.

"Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!"

He lifted her up, swinging her round in a circle before lowering her down to carry her into the kitchen. The young girl giggled as she clung to him, wriggling around to stretch her arms around her Father's waist.

"I can see you missed me Jess. You've been good for your mother?"

He lent over to kiss her mother, bringing the three of them into an embrace. His patrol had been uneventful though he enjoyed the animated look on his daughters face as he told her stories on what it was like being on the Battlestar.

"When I grow up, I want to be a pilot just like you Daddy. I want to be posted on a Battlestar!"

****

The course had been a long one, though Jessa Thrace had studied very hard to get the high grades and the respect of her instructors from the very moment she had set foot in the Leonis Military Training Centre. Then came the day she finished and was sent to her first posting. Her parents had proudly waited in the bleachers along side the parade ground, watching as the Graduation Parade took place. They'd picked her out quickly, her father still in his own uniform, though very soon to retire. He was so proud of his daughter following in his footsteps. They'd had the usual portraits taken, then the graduates had been given their papers stating where their postings would be.

Jessa had been one of five to be based on their home planet. She felt a bit disappointed, having wanted the prize posting of a Battlestar, though no one out of their "class" got a posting there, all were to be planet bound spread over the colonies. Some of the others had been envious of the five staying "at home", while she continued to dream. She made the most of it, throwing herself fully into being the best pilot she could possibly be in the hope she'd be chosen for the choice assignments. As a continuation on from the Academy, she was first placed into the Mark II, testing out her skills and making sure she could handle the Viper, to know it inside out and back the front. She proved to be an excellent pilot, soon able to take the step up to the more powerful Viper, the Mark VII.

*****

During her first flight with the Mark VII's, Jessa had been flying in formation with three others, callsign Hotshot was one of them. He was one that all the girls on base had their eye on... all that is except for Jessa. Their first mission was to hit a target out from the edge of the docks without causing damage to the 'friendlies' on either side of it. Each of them were to do an attack run, keeping their formation, circle around and then let the next go for the target, first time round with all of them was to just get a firing solution, not to take it out. She had been in third position, following the two others, Hotshot after her. The first missed his mark his firing solution too early, the second right on the mark. Jessa had taken note on how they had begun their runs, taking care not to make any of the mistakes the first had made, more following the example of the second. She hit the target dead center getting some pretty amusing comments from the other pilots. When Hotshot had his run, he'd overshot the mark by too much, his angle almost sending him into the drink. Not being able to help it, Jessa had laughed along with the others, more at their comments, though hadn't joined in with their banter. He hadn't taken to kindly to any of the banter, or being laughed at, going into a sulk.

Jessa had thought no more about him, continuing on with her training and being the best pilot she could possibly be. It wasn't long after she'd started flying the Mark VII, she found herself the brunt of some of the guys tormenting. They were all on about how she needed a callsign and she wasn't interested in any that they would come up with. The one main thing that her squad mates stirred her about was her lack of interest in anyone in or around the base, her interest in dating being second place to her viper. It wasn't that Jessa wasn't interested in men - not women - it was that she was shy when it came to the opposite sex and didn't want to just 'give herself' to anyone. She hadn't met anyone she 'liked' either. She would prefer to be in love or preferably to get Sealed first before sleeping with anyone, and wasn't one to think so casually about sex like everyone else seemed to.

"But what if he's no good? You've got to try before you buy girl"

"Yeah Jess, how do you know if you're going to be compatible... you've got to have someone who's good in the sack"

"I'm just not... like that.. I'm... I'm not ready to go that far. I haven't met anyone that I'd want to even consider it with. Besides which... no one's swept me off my feet. If I'm going to do something like that I want to be in love with them... and you know I want to get sealed first." Her shy answer was the same every time. They'd gone into the ready room not long after one of those such conversations, the guys always having fun tormenting her to make her blush.

"Hey Foxy Lady!"

"When are you going to go out with me fox...?"

" ... you're breakin' my heart"

They'd done a similar thing for days... always the same comments and always making her blush with them. Once they had all been briefed, the guys waited for Jessa to leave the ready room first... somewhat of a surprise to her for they'd not 'played gentlemen' before. She soon found out why as she made her way over to her Viper... only to see "Vixen" painted underneath her name on it.

"What the?!? Who did this?"

The only answer she got was laughter…

****

She loved her posting, though still dreamed of being transferred to a Battlestar. The more she concentrated on her flying, the better she got and since she wasn't dating anyone, she'd spend hours tinkering with it and finding out everything about the Vipers. If for some reason she crash landed somewhere she wanted to be able to fix the viper to get home again. The crew were helpful with her and it had been noted from the higher ups that she took her flying and everything to do with it seriously. She got along well with the crew... with most really, though still no one caught her eye.

Jessa worked her way up the ranks, doing the courses as they became available. She also was one to put her name down for any attachments to other units, wanting to get as much experience as she possibly could, trying to gain the off planet missions and assignments. She was sent to varying locations, including a posting to another base on the other side of the planet... though still not being sent to one of the other Colonies. At her second unit, she reached the rank of Lieutenant, a great accomplishment for her. She had learnt from her first posting and kept her private life mysterious, finding that she wasn't tormented there. It allowed her to be herself and really enjoy the posting. Still she longed for her dream posting. She put in for her next posting, very much hoping to go to a Battlestar, instead Jessa found herself back at her starting point for her third posting. Lieutenant Jessa 'Vixen' Thrace arrived back at the place of her first posting, hoping herself wiser than before. She was going into her fifth year of service and still on her Home Planet.

As she was settling in again, the others found out that Jessa still wasn't seeing anyone... and that she was still just as interested in her Viper as she had been previously. She just hadn't found anyone that interested her. That was until Dylan began to show up wherever she was. If she stayed working on her viper, he'd casually approach her. He surprised her one afternoon after a long patrol. Her Flight had been out on a patrol, Jessa having not long been put into the position of Flight Leader. She'd taken it very seriously and while they had been out there, they'd received a krypter call. A civilian craft had gotten into trouble and they'd gone to see what had happened. Pirates had hit the craft, leaving it sitting in space not able to maneuver. She had the raptor call home base for a recovery team for the civilian craft and they had gone after the pirates. With a very precise shot she had hit the pirates ship, leaving them unable to run but could still fly. With her Flight surrounding the Pirates, they'd brought them back to Leonis, handing them over to the Civilian authorities upon landing. Dylan had shown up just as she had finished making the reports, holding out a flower for her.

Jessa had been flattered by his attention, be it very surprised at it because of his reputation. He was handsome and he knew it and was very popular with the other girls both on and off base. She did have to wonder why he picked her, specially since everyone thought he would be dating one of the girls from Engineering. Tara North had the looks of a model and had been seen talking with Dylan often, yet he began to pursue Jess. Someone mentioned something about them having had an argument. Jess shrugged it off, thinking that he would get bored with her just as quick as he seemed to start vying for her attention. That didn't seem to happen though. He'd show up out of nowhere with some trinket or another, eventually getting her to a point where she agreed to go out with him on an 'official' date.

The other girls on base were envious, telling her how lucky she was everytime 'Hotshot' blew her a kiss or waved in her direction. Jessa was very surprised when he asked her out to a movie, then to dinner, wanting to spend time with her. Jessa began to see him more often, enjoying going places with him. The first time he kissed her she had been stunned, not expecting it. It didn't take him long though to have her wanting him to kiss her more. She began to love the feel of his strong arms around her. While she still worked on her viper, it seemed he was drawing her away from it, even if it was only to sit and talk for awhile. Even with him distracting her, she didn't neglect any of her duties. His advances became determined, Dylan trying to persuade her into sleeping with him. Jessa kept asking him to respect her wishes... telling him she wasn't ready and that she didn't want to until after she was Sealed.

Rumours began to circulate of an Attachment to one of the Battlestars. The Solaria was coming in and one lucky pilot would be chosen to have experience on the Battlestar for a month. With the formal announcement of a pilot going to be chosen to go on a the attachment, there were many murmurings on who would be the lucky pilot to go. When Jessa had been called out, they were all surprised, none more so than Jessa. This was the first step to her dream, to what she was working so hard to get to and she couldn't be happier. The instruction packet she was handed, stated that she was to leave the following day.

Dylan played on her that night, trying harder than ever to get her into his bed. They went out to dinner ... to celebrate... and then ended up standing in the shadows between the barracks blocks. He'd had a bottle of wine ordered with their meal, having wanted to ply her with it, though she didn't drink as much as he had wanted her to. In the shadows, he drew her into his arms, kissing her. His hands wandered over her body, Jess having to frequently stop him from touching her where she didn't want to be touched. He deepened his kiss, his body pressed hard against her, sandwiching her body between himself and a wall.

"Can't you feel how much I want you Jess..." He whispered into her ear, drawing her attention to that hard part of his anatomy. She felt herself blushing though it was unseen in the darkness. He kissed her, his passion deepening before his words again were whispered, "I need you babe... your going to be away for a month... you can't leave me like this..." Taking hold of her hand, he guided it down to his pants... to the evidence of his need. It was the first time he had been so... obvious with what he wanted. With the wine, Jess found herself tempted to let him... though the logical part of her mind demanded she resist. She couldn't deny she was curious about what he would look like... never having seen a man before... still, she wanted to wait. They'd been dating for a while, though this was the most serious he had gotten with her so far. "You know how I feel about this Dyl..." She drew her hand back from his groin, "I have to go..." Jessa had pulled away from him then, heading towards her barracks room, her thoughts replaying how it had feel with his body against her. He was stirring up a hunger of sorts that she never knew existed inside of her.

***Battlestar Solaria***

Arriving on the Battlestar Solaria the next day, was shown into the quarters in which she'd be staying in, then shown around the layout of the Battlestar so she'd be able to find her way. Since there were quite a few women on board the Solaria, it was run with male and female barracks rooms, though some of the duty lockers were unisex as well. Jessa was placed in an all female room, for which she was silently grateful. She put her bag in the locker provided, then let one of the other pilots guide her through the ship, taking her to where she could get a meal.

After a meal, she'd had her various interviews, including one with both the CO and XO, finishing with another with the CAG, Captain Dave "Jolly" Dualla. They'd all decided to put her to the test, flying in one of their more active wings. She had been thrilled at the opportunity she had been given, loving the chance to prove herself worthy so that she could maybe end up with an actual Posting to a Battlestar out of the attachment with the Solaria. She worked hard with whatever they asked her to do. The flight proved a good shakedown for her, having the experience of launching from the Battlestar's launch tubes and landing both automated and manually. She showed proficient in both, more so with the manual as that was what she was most used to. She had performed the moves in a simulator before, and had adjusted quickly to the 'real thing'.

When she and another of the girls had finished for the day, they went via their barracks room to collect their off duty uniforms and headed to the change rooms. Jessa was in the middle of a conversation with Kacey as she pushed the door open, finding herself stunned speechless when she turned back towards the change room catching a full frontal eye full of a naked man that was standing in front of her. Kacey pushed her to the side, Jessa blushing bright red and averting her eyes. The only thing was, where she had looked away to was straight at another man. She cast her eyes downward towards her boots, embarrassed beyond belief. She heard laughter and the general comment of  "Welcome to the unisex change rooms". There were men and women in various degrees of undress all around the busy change room.

"You didn't know the change rooms were unisex?" Kacey had to ask... laughter in her voice.

"No... No-one told me..." Jess managed to get to a section and sit down a moment, Kacey sitting beside her as Jess focused on her boots.

"Don't worry about it... you do get used to it. No one cares after a while." Kacey then looked closely at Jessa, catching her eye and noting her flushed face. "Don't tell me you've not seen a naked man before? Not even your boyfriend?"

"Err... No... I haven't. We never... you know... Haven't been seeing him long enough for that..." Then had to add, "You sure you get used to it? I mean... How long does it take to? I'm ... only here for a month..."

"It won't take long. You'll see. No one takes much notice of anyone else after a while. Sure you see... but you don't really... you'll get what I mean after a while."

Jess just shook her head, concentrating on her boots. She was fine removing clothing down to her underwear... having worn bikini's when she'd gone swimming... her body covered if only slightly. The same with when they did PT, she was fine in her sports bra and shorts. It had still kept her modest though... being naked in front of other women wasn't a problem for her any longer... it was just the thought of being so in front of the men... especially after some of the comments she'd gotten at her previous postings... She grabbed up her towel, wrapping it around herself and tucking it so that it wouldn't fall down. She then removed her pants, slipping her arms from the straps of the sports bra and worked it down until she could step out of it. She sat down again to pick up the garments she'd just removed, placing them with her other clothing. Gathering her courage up, she stood again, heading towards the door-less showers. There was only a part wall that you stepped over that was there to keep the water from going all over the floor.

She was hesitant, closing her eyes for a moment before she gathered her courage up. Loosening her towel, she stepped into the shower, hanging it up on the hook provided. She faced the wall so that only her back was 'on show' and turned on the water. Cleansing herself, Jessa took care to with her hygiene making sure she was totally clean, her hair included. Turning the water off she squeezed out her hair and snatched up her towel again, wrapping herself within it. While still in the cubical, she gave herself a quick dry before stepping out and moving over to where she'd left her pile of clothing. She found it slightly easier that the change room was clearing of the opposite sex, and that they were over the other side of the room. Drying herself off properly she quickly pulled on her underwear, wrapping her hair in the towel before she pulled on her uniform pants and boots. She dried her hair, brushing it until it shone before tying it back up. Once that had been done she pulled on her shirt. She and Kacey left the rooms together for the barracks then.

The days flew past during her attachment, Jessa finding that she was getting used to the unisex change rooms as quickly as Kacey said she would. A couple of full days where they were on the go all the time and she honestly didn't care when it came to having her shower to get rid of the sweat and grime from being in the cockpit and then checking over her viper with the deck crew. The two girls were becoming good friends, Kacey becoming her mentor. Jess enjoyed everything about being on the battlestar, getting a taste for the kind of life it would be. She was still shy when it came to the men, Kacey letting it be known that Jess did have a boyfriend 'back home' so she wouldn't get bothered too much. It didn't stop some of the guys from approaching her, even if they soon found out how shy she was and left her be, respecting her wishes.

With the habit of keeping her private life exactly that, Jessa said little with regards to Dylan, only that she'd started seeing him a couple of months before, the subject coming up only after they'd had communications time from home when they could speak to someone, be it friend or family. Dylan had told her how much he missed her and how much he was looking forward to seeing her again. "I can't wait to have you in my arms babe..." His suggestiveness with regards to being with her now made her more curious rather than dead set against being with him when she got back. He laughed when she told him what had happened in the change rooms, making a comment with regards to how she would find him 'well equipped and much better looking' than the other men, a comment which made her blush.

By the time she had finished talking with him, Jess was feeling confused. Was she ready to take the next step with him when she got back? It was true she missed him... but only when she was asked about him. She missed his kisses and the feel of his arms around her, but other than that... she didn't know him well enough... Jess was still in two minds whether or not to give in to the peer pressure just to see what it was like, or to stick to her guns and keep her innocence intact until she got Sealed. The other fact being that she was more career minded than wanting to settle down, not that sleeping with him would be 'settling down', but that's how she kind of felt about it. Like it would change her priorities or something.

Often in their downtime, they would either go to another of the barracks rooms and play Pyramid or another card game, or the others would come into theirs. It made for a very jovial time with the mixed ranks and a lot of fun. Jessa found herself relaxing and quickly becoming accepted as 'one of them' rather than being an outsider or 'land-lover'. They laughed and joked with her at how she had dreamed of a posting to a Battlestar, though it was all good natured because they all loved their postings and that she kept putting in for the transfers. "One of these days your CO'll get tired of you asking and just give it to you..." was the main comment she got. "Well that's what I'm hoping..."

"Ok, enough of that, who's in and who's got what?" One of the guys around the table piped up, wanting to continue the game. As the cards were laid out, Jess hid a smile, though her eyes were full of mirth.

"Haha Full Colours! Beat that" Good natured groans followed, cubit's pushed across the table towards her. Jess gathered them in, as the dealer dealt out the cards again. The rest of the night was just as much fun, Jess walking away ahead when the game finally ended. She and Kacey headed back to their barracks room, retiring for the night.

Her time on the Solaria went all too quickly, the shuttle that she was to go back on having been announced to be heading back a day earlier than it was originally supposed to. There was some items that had to be transferred back to Leonis urgently. Jess was sad to leave the ship and the new friends she had made though vowed more than ever to get a proper posting to a Battlestar. She had loved every minute of her tour of duty. Kacey excitedly told her that she was to be transferred before long to the Pegasus the night before Jess was to leave. The two girls celebrated with some of the others, downing a few glasses of ambrosia and generally having a jovial time.

*** Leonis Military Base ***

Having come back from her stint on the Battlestar Solaria a day early, Jessa went to her own room first to dump her pack. No one was in the hallways so she headed back out of her room, heading towards Dylan's. She stopped at his door, hearing voices within... his voice and a woman's. Her face tightened as she heard the words spoken,

"No love... she gets back tomorrow. If what I hear about the Battlestar's is true, and from how I've set things up whenever we've spoken, she'll be begging to let me have her soon as she gets back."

"I hope you're right. Seeing you having to fawn over her again won't be fun Dyl. What's the pot up to now anyway?"

"Betting pool is up to 300 cubits. Be the easiest cubit's I've ever made. Soon as I've had her we can be together again. I promise you Tara love."

Jessa's expression hardened, the sounds coming from inside the room changed slightly but she still had to torture herself. Silently she pushed the door open a fraction so that she could see the bed. It confirmed to her what she didn't want to believe from hearing their voices. The two were naked and entwined on his bed and no mistaking what they were doing. She pulled the door closed, the pair too involved with themselves to notice they had been caught out. Her face was a mask drained of colour as she headed back to her own room, locking the door behind her once she reached it. Luckily she was in the next barracks block over from his and not in the same one.

Hot tears ran down her face as she looked around her room, grabbing up every trinket he had given her over the last few months. It had all been a lie. He had a bet going... a BET! A bet to take her innocence away from her. What sort of a monster is he? What made him do such a thing? Why me? She felt such a fool from having fallen for him... hook, line and sinker. All that time on the Battlestar Solaria she'd avoided the other men because of him. The conversations they'd had when she'd had a chance to call home. All the time he had been baiting her... stringing her along. He'd known they did things differently on the Battlestars... how she'd have seen naked men and how it would have made her curious to see what he'd look like without his clothes on. If she hadn't of heard him just then... He'd of won that damn bet! To think that I was actually considering sleeping with him...

Jessa had heard that he was a good actor... had been involved in the plays the base put on from time to time but to act out that he was interested in her, that he loved her... for all that time... and all for a bet... That she hadn't been the only one fooled didn't offer her any comfort either, she was the brunt of it, his 'target'. All her friends and her cousin, Kaylee, had thought he was serious about her too. She threw each item into a box, not caring if any of it broke. Leaving the box as it was on the table, she left the room, stopping at the SAL block to wash her face and to tidy herself up. She then headed straight to her CO's office, requesting to see him. Once shown in and told to take a seat, she paused only for a few moments before he asked her what her problem was.

"I want to put in for a transfer Sir, to a Battlestar."

He could see that her eyes were red, that she had been crying though didn't ask about that yet, saying only,

"You enjoyed your tour on the Solaria then."

"Yes Sir, I did."

"Your reason for wanting the transfer is?"

He was straight and to the point there as he caught her eye. They had always gotten on well, her CO had been best of friends with her father, though that piece of information had been kept quiet from all those on base, only a limited number knew of the connection.

"Besides the reason I have always wanted a posting to a Battlestar?" He shook his head, giving her a look that asked for the real reason why she was so upset. "Personal reason's Sir. " He raised his eyebrow at her, waiting for her to tell him the truth of the matter. "I... I thought he loved me and he was just using me. I never meant a thing to him. He's been seeing someone else all this time... I... hate being made a fool of. It was all because of a bet he wanted to win."

The fact that she could speak frankly with her CO as she could with her parents allowed her to tell him what had gone on. He'd known that Dylan had been dating her before her stint away, as had everyone else. He also knew that she would never neglect her duty. She told him what she had overheard, though said that she would deal with him in her own way. Breaking her heart wasn't cause for official punishment. The CO had known her for years from visiting her father, and he had known as well as her family did her dream to be posted to a Battlestar. He didn't have a daughter himself, though he did treat her like one when no one else was around to see. He was always professional though and hadn't treated her with favouritism when the attachment to the Solaria had come up... he'd sent the pilot that had worked the hardest to get it and everyone knew how hard Jessa worked towards her goal.

"I'll see what I can do. You have the weekend off so why don't you go over to Jake and Talina's, I know you won't be able to forget what's happened but at least you won't have to face him before Monday's parade. I'll attach you to Delta Squadron so you won't be near him and see what I can do about that transfer. You're a good pilot Jessa. Don't let him drag you down."

He tapped the paperwork in front of him and smiled warmly at her,

"You received a very glowing report from the CO on the Solaria. I don't think it will be hard to get you transferred. I'll be sorry to lose you, but I know how much you want that posting."

Giving her another gruff look, he added as she opened the door to leave.

"Now get out of here Lieutenant, I don't want to see your face till Monday."

She had saluted him sharply, smiling through her misery and had left his office to return to her room. Grabbing up her bag and the box she headed out to catch a transport in to town. She dumped the box of trinkets in the nearest bin, not caring who saw the items there. She didn't even care to see him at all, though wasn't going to let on yet that she knew it was all a bet. An inner anger burnt at what he'd done to her.

That weekend had gone all too quickly. He'd called to see if she was at her parents, 'concerned' that she hadn't contacted him once she had gotten back. She'd told her parents that if he did call 'she was out' or that she was 'not feeling well', not wanting to talk to him at all. By Monday when she showed up for Parade, she was more composed, having had the weekend to attempt to compose herself. To think she had actually began to fall in love with him... and he did that to her... purposefully breaking her heart like he did. No-one should play with another’s feelings like that. It was just so wrong!

She avoided him as much as she could for the next two weeks, giving excuses that she was busy, that she was tired, anything that she could think of not to be near him or go out on any more 'dates' with him. She worked with him when she had to, spoke with him, but wouldn't let him get close to her, not wanting to fall for his acting skills anymore. She did miss the feel of his arms around her and his kisses, but then would remind herself of what he'd done. The only high point in that time was confirmation of her transfer to the Battlestar Empyrean. The only person she told that she'd gotten it was Kaylee, finding out that her cousin and best friend, had gotten her posting to the Battlestar Pegasus as well. Both girls kept their postings quiet, knowing what some of the guys would be like if they found out that they'd gotten 'choice postings'.

Finally Dylan caught up with her... Jessa knowing that she couldn't keep up the pretense any longer. It was the day before she was to leave and they'd just come in from a flight exercise. Having taken extra time 'saying goodbye' to her Viper, Jess had been one of the last to enter the pilot's change room. Most had gone already, Jess thinking she'd have it to herself for a while. It was divided into male and female sections with a common 'briefing room' in between... not like the Battlestar with the unisex change rooms. None of her land postings had the unisex change rooms. She'd gotten changed, shoved her things into her bag and was leaving the room when she spotted him, leaning against one of the lockers.

"What's up beautiful...?"

"You tell me." Her voice was flat, her hazel green eyes turning frosty.

"What's the matter. Get a bad report? Is that why you've been avoiding me? I beat you with the last marks?"

He was still acting... had he realised he had been caught out...? or hadn't he? He was so good at acting so had to know that something was up especially with her avoiding him. He was still playing with her, all innocent and pretending to be hurt that she'd avoided him. She caught the hard glint in his eye and knew that he knew.

"What's the betting pool up to now Hotshot? Still 300 cubits?" Jess raised her eyebrow sarcastically as she now glared at him.

"What are you talking about? What bet love? Come on... someone's playing a trick on you." His voice was so smooth that if she hadn't heard it from him with her own ears she would have been doubting herself.

"Yeah... you are. Go back to Tara, I'm sure she's better suited to your needs. Leave me alone."

Jess stormed off, leaving him standing there a moment before he came after her, grabbing hold of her arm and swinging her around to face him before she could even get close to leaving the room. Her bag came loose from her hand, sliding across the floor towards the door.

"Who told you?"

"No one had to tell me. I SAW you. I heard you. Did it give you a thrill to make a fool of me like that? To make me fall in love with you? It's all been a great joke to you hasn't it. It's just one huge thrill. 'Let's take Jessa's virginity... it should be fun...' Is that what you thought? I never want to see you again! Just FRAK OFF AND LEAVE ME ALONE!"

She pulled her arm from his grasp, her angry voice sinking in to him that he had indeed been caught out and that she was not going to let him win his bet.

"Your not going to make me lose 300 cubits girl. I intend to collect that bet with or without your cooperation."

His furious tone filled her head. He seemed to grow larger, his face so menacing as he grabbed her with animalistic rage. She fought him off, finding herself shoved against one of the lockers, the handle digging into her side. A scream tore from her as his hands tightened around her wrists, imprinting his handprints there from his grip. Struggling madly Jessa somehow managed to drive her knee into his groin. He released his grip, holding her one handed as he fumbling with his pants, Jess struggling with all her might to get away. He hit her across the face then, hard, making her fall to the floor, blood seeping from her cut lip. Before she could manage to pick her dazed self up from the floor, he was on top of her, hitting her face once more before ripping at her clothing. Jessa screamed, petrified that he was going to rape her, petrified that he was going to get away with it after he had already broken her heart. Her sobs grew ragged as he covered her mouth with his hand, his body pinning her to the floor, his excitement evident by his hard body. Her screams had been heard though. Two of the other pilots that hadn't left yet came running in. Seeing what was going on they dragged him off her.

As Jessa sobbed, Kaylee had come running in, having heard the commotion as well, racing to her side to comfort her. It took both the other male pilots to hold him while the MP's had been called, the evidence very clear on what he had been going to do. After having seen the evidence, taken pictures and having taken statements, the MP's suggested Jessa be taken to the medical center to be checked over while they took Dylan to the brig. He was still trying to pin things on Jessa as he left, trying to make it seem like it was her fault and that she had brought it on herself - just because she hadn't slept with him... or with anyone else for that matter. His accusations and abuse ringing in her ears.

Kaylee was protective of her, supporting Jess as she went to the medical center and sitting with her as she waited to be examined. She couldn't stop shaking, her uniform torn in multiple places. They had a female medic see her, examining the bruises, black eye and cut lip, giving her some cream to rub onto the bruises to help them heal quicker. The split lip was deep though Jessa refused stitches. With the CO having heard about what had happened, he ordered Jessa to his office, allowing Kaylee to come with her. She'd had to tell him what had happened, the same as what she'd told the MP's as it had to go down on her file. He promised that it wouldn't be in her public file though, only in the private report that was for the CO's eyes only. As for Dylan 'Hotshot' Riley, he wouldn't see the inside of a Viper again... the only thing he'd be seeing for a long period of time would be the inside of the brig.

Instead of going out to celebrate their last night on base before posting, the two girls ended up out at Jessa's parents house, the CO personally taking them there as he was going to see her Father anyway. The remainder of Jessa's equipment had already been packed up and shipped off to her new posting. All that had been left as the bag she'd packed before being attacked. Kaylee had grabbed it for her, the girls more like sisters than cousins, they were so close. Both girls still had a few days before they had to travel to the Scorpia Fleet Shipyards where the Empyrean was still having it's final touches completed and the Pegasus would be coming in for resupply. Jessa had been told that she would be on dry dock barracks for a week before boarding the ship and that the day she would officially start 'living' on the Battlestar would be on Armistice Day. As the Pegasus was also going to be at the same location both girls would travel there in the same shuttle.

It was a tearful goodbye to her parents a few days later as she caught the transport back to the base to catch the shuttle. She met Kaylee there, then hurried on board the shuttle so she wouldn't have to face any of the others. Jessa didn't want any of them seeing what a mess Dylan had made of her. She made sure she had long sleeves on at all times and her hair was left loose, covering her makeup disguised face. It was only once they had lifted off and were on their way that Jessa relaxed. She found she was very jumpy every time she heard a man raise his voice, even if it wasn't in anger. Several times she found her hands shaking, wondering how long it would be before she could put it behind her. Jessa kept concentrating on her new beginning, wanting to start anew.

Landing at the Shipyards was uneventful. Both girls went their separate ways to report to their respective Battlestars. Jessa had carefully applied makeup to disguise her black eye and cut lip and had a cover story lined up if she needed one so that no one would know what had happened to her. She felt different since the attack and it had made her even more wary of men coming onto her. She was afraid of another bet being placed, just because she had never been with anyone before... if that was Hotshot's only reason she didn't know. By the time she boarded the Battlestar Empyrean, her bruises were just shadows of what they were and her lip had almost healed. One had to look hard to notice it now, though the bruises were still noticeable in certain light.

Being Armistice Day, she took her turn making a call back to her family on Leonis, talking with her mother and father for half an hour before having to say goodbye. They'd told her that they were going to the Military Base for the Parade and festivities that they had planned there. It all sounded like a good day. It was a shame she couldn't spend it with them, though she would talk to them again soon. Jessa caught the shuttle that took her to the Empyrean then, one of the deck crew introducing her to another of the pilots that in turn showed her where their barracks room was. She'd had time to join one of the others in a run around the decks, something she had started to do when she'd been attached to the Solaria. Running around the ship helped familiarise herself with it's layout as well, being a new battlestar. She'd managed to find the unisex change rooms vacant when she'd gone for her shower and had been quite relieved for a number of reasons, the main one still being very self conscious of the battering her body had taken, even though the bruises were almost faded to nothing now... she still didn't want questions regarding them. She'd left there for the barracks room then, so that she was fresh and ready to go when they were called to.

***Two weeks before Armistice Day***

"You sure you don't want to change your mind?"

"I'm positive. My mind's set. You know my transfer requests been in for weeks now."

"I know. I just didn't think it would come through so soon. Having you posted to a base near home has been good. I just hoped it would last longer..."

"Battlestar Empyrean is one of the newest in the fleet... still under construction. I'll be fine Mum, I promise."

"This isn't because of...", her voice trailed off as she looked at her daughter.

"Part of the reason. I... don't want to talk about him. I just want to forget it ever happened. I can't do that if I'm still here."

Joining the Fleet was all that Jessa had ever wanted to do... and to be a Viper pilot like her dear old Dad. The only child had followed her Father's footsteps, first into Leonis Military Flight School, and then going on to become a Viper Pilot. Her first posting had been on her home planet, some being jealous of the favored posting, being that her parents lived close by the base allowing her to visit with them regularly. She'd gone on missions off planet before, attached to a Battlestar with the local Battalion Group, but her dream was to actually be posted to a Battlestar. That was her favored posting. Now that dream was coming true. A new start - a new beginning.

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