#this happened to me on twitter AND I WAS SO HAPPY

[proshippers-against-censorship]

Felt like sharing my experience with antis if that is okay? To start off I'm very anti-contact, I don't actually want to hurt anyone and I am very hesitant about aligning with pro-ship or saying I was technically one at some point. it makes me feel guilty and uneasy when I say that I enjoy producing and consuming dark graphic content, and that I sometimes (rarely) get off to it (most of the time it's like absurdist horror to me, still fun to read but very uncomfy) I am the Shinji Ikari of Marquis De Sade, more or less.

So basically I wrote a dead dove/noncon fic and would constantly leave long AN's about how I was doing sort of to vent/cope/talk about my artistic process. I have a rape fetish and was sort of playing into it a little with the fic. I confessed to this multiple times in ANs that I'd often edit or delete depending on my embarrassment or shame with how long they were, because they were LONG! I will get to this again later.

I really enjoyed working on this fic, as it was just my art piece of the month and due to the fandom it was for being very popular I got a lot of hits, kudos and even comments! The comments were very positive and supportive and made me want to keep writing, and I was just really happy, maybe a little addicted to working on this story. Like it felt good to get this much attention for it. So I wanted to see if I could find other people in the fandom to talk about it with.

I actually got in contact with someone who was pretty big. They didn't know I wrote this specific fic yet and I warned them it was really dark, thinking they wouldn't get upset. I was very much so in the mindset that they wouldn't think much of it. Looking around I saw the space was pretty anti-proship and I was like gosh, okay... I mean this isn't really proship tho like I'm not showing this activity as good and it mostly focuses on the aftermath and how it hurt someone sooo then I should tag it to get the people who are creeps and actually wanna hurt people away from it!

That... didn't work. It actually backfired. This person in the fandom I reached hadn't gotten back to me when I sent them a summary of my fic (that I spent five hours on probably!) at the time, but I did get negative comments telling me that I was gross, and someone else reassuring me that the error in my tags was posted out of context and I just mistagged it and should fix it. I can't remember what specifically the tags said but it upset a lot of people and I saw how bad it looked so I fixed it, briefly acknowledged it then for whatever reason erased evidence of the mistake ever happening to prevent any further harassment.

The big person in the fandom got back to me! By which I mean she blocked me! Everywhere! Literally everywhere. Other people were blocking me too.

I wanted someone new to talk to. I was almost done with the story and I wanted someone to write with. I asked on twitter (where I found a lot of porn for the fandom I was in) if there was a discord for a specific ship in the fandom I wrote for and soemone sent me the link!

So I joined on my main account and the rules say "no proshippers, no dead dove writers. If we catch you for doing this we will kick you out of our server." I'm like okay so I won't mention I wrote this then! Just gotta make sure that one person isn't here....

She was. She was there.

So I dm the person who invited me. I deleted the discord this was on so I'll write the conversation from memory.

Me: Uh... is (fic writer) a member here?

Them: I think so, why?

Me: I'm sorry I can't join I wrote something messed up.

Them: What kind of messed up?

Me: Dead dove. But it's not fetish material or anything it's

Them: is it that one (main character) fic?

Me: :(

Them: Why didn't you just open with that?

Me: I'm sorry I'm really sorry

Them: You're lying by the way it says here that it is fetish material.

(they sent several screenshots of my now deleted author's notes.)

Me: Well yeah but like only partially.

Them: Do you have any sexual trauma?

Me: Yeah sort of. I was abused that counts right?

Them: Counts enough, I guess. Still this isn't a good way to deal with it.

Me: I'm sorry.

Them: And the way you tried to infiltrate the safer spaces by giving people a false sense of security? All the creeps DNI stuff? Completely messed up.

Me: I won't join your server I'm sorry. I didn't mean that I was just anxious I got scared.

Me: You aren't gonna dox me or come after me.

Them: No, we won't. Just don't post for this fandom anymore.

Me: Okay. I'm really sorry.

I forget where but they said "We don't want you here, dude." Which is just, fuckin suicide causing words. I also forgot to include the part where I said I regret writing it and they said "how can you regret writing a story you made 28 chapters for" and I said "I just needed to keep writing" they said "No you didn't" I left a lot out but that's the gist.

Anyway it's just awful to be made to feel like a monster because you don't know how tagging works and have a couple weird fetishes. Like, I see now how it looks REALLY bad but in all honesty I just thought I was writing a story that was a little messed up. I didn't consider that people might be upset by the poor handling of the subject, my fucked up sense of humor, or how it looks like I'm trying to hurt/shock them when in reality I was lonely, desperate for approval/attention and wanted someone to talk about my favorite show with.

Because of what happened, I'm now too scared to post about the show in question anymore. Like, I'm worried they might recognize my interests (I was dumb enough to not be anonymous and posted art on an account a few people saw and have a pretty distinctive style) and then like say "OMG ITS THE FREAK WHO POSTED THAT RAPE FIC DURING THE FALL OF 2024!" and like doxx me or something.

I'm like really scared. I genuinely love that show, even still, and I want to draw art for it and participate in the fandom without making anymore dark fetish content for it, but I'm really scared people will remember who I was in the past. Like I'm not even into an underaged character it's a grown ass man, I understand that rape is wrong, I mentioned a lot in the fic itself I don't want to hurt anyone, and I said it everywhere, I don't hurt people but these antis scare me I don't think they care that I'm harmless or a victim of abuse (so my fetishes changed a bit as a result) I don't think they care that I write this stuff as a way to relieve stress because the violence and cruelty is cathartic, freeing, let's me express my id freely.

I want to keep writing for this fandom, more dark stories, but I just, I'm scared to. I'm scared they'll see me again and hate me, hurt me. I want to draw, write, make art, make friends but these people they aren't welcoming and I completely understand why.... it's a largely american fanbase for an adult animated cartoon so I'm scared of the proship side since American cartoon fanbases are horrific.

I don't know, I guess I just want some comfort after all this happened, some reprieve? Some sort of reassurance that I'm not a bad person, I don't know. Some encouragement to keep liking this cartoon. I'm really sorry this note was so long. I'm sorry. That's all I can say. I'm a broken record at this point haha.

Fuckin hell I need therapy.

<3

[corcorlae]

HRKG CH31 SPOILERS!!!

it’s out on mangadex now, so if you haven’t read it, go ahead!!!

this is mostly me screaming and my thoughts on it. Maybe partially an analysis, but im terrible at analyzing lol

ok so the first thing; (also one of the first things you see when opening the chapter)

first thing, COMPLETELY VALID REACTION. It was completely unexpected to suddenly get kissed without consent. I believe it was more of an act on impulse. I didn’t react to the entirety of this chapter blind since I was on twitter and saw someone say “DAMN KAGI JUST GOT SLAPPED” and I was like “haha, WHAT?!” And Kagi’s immediate worry…❤️😔

I also believe hirano’s face in these panels weren’t disgust from being kissed or anything, it was more of a “what just happened and oh my god I hurt him” kind of face. when he heard Kagi’s bag drop, he immediately looked up and went to check if he was okay;

the FIRST THING he thought of after slapping him was to check if he was okay and worrying that he hurt him.

BROKE. MY. HEART. HIS FACE…😭💔

im not even through 90% of the chapter, those were just the first few panels, so im not going to show any more panels now. Sorry sorry!!

kagi starts talking about how it didn’t hurt at all, and then brings up the kiss saying; “im the one who kissed you…you probably disliked it.” To which hirano responds with “it’s not that I disliked it…it’s…complicated? You said you wanted to after all…” IM TELLING YOU GUYS, ASPEC HIRANO IS REAL. (This is barely an analysis anymore btw)

kagi sits down with him and says that he’s so sorry, which absolutely broke meeeeeee oml 💔

Hirano then starts thinking about if he initiated the kiss instead, but then thinks; “no, I don’t want to.” But immediately after, he thinks about when kagi said “when you touch me, it makes me really happy.” While reaching out to touch him. He stops himself and thinks “I wanna touch him.” And looks as if he just realized something, probably realizing their feeling for each other aren’t as different as originally thought.

and then hanzawa shows up and asks if everything’s ok, suspecting a fight and asks if they could open the door for them, which neither kagi or hirano make a move to open the door, they just look at each other (which im mentioning cuz i found it funny) and hirano tells him they’re having an important conversation, and hanzawa gives them 5 minutes. I saw some people saying the chapter felt a little bit rushed, and my opinion on why is because they were being timed. Plus, only given 5 minutes to talk about it. They did technically have to rush to explain everything to each other.

I said I wouldn’t show anymore panels but I lied oops

I just really love them arguing about who’s fault it was lol

Hirano talks about a way he could make it up to him, to which he tells kagi to hit him back just as hard. Kagi declines, so hirano starts thinking about different ways he could make it up.

he then mentions kissing;

ASPEC HIRANO DENIERS ARE GETTING DESTROYED THIS CHAPTER.

he then thinks more about the earlier topic about how their “love” isn’t as different as he thought, and then hirano thinks “there’s other stuff that overlaps too. It’s not one sided.” One of my theories for this chapter was hirano’s diagram from before being wrong, which me and other people ended up being right about (yippee!!)

and then there’s hirano talking about his feelings. OH MY SILLY WILLIES. AAAAAGH?!!?!?! I’m just gonna put the panels here I can’t omg…

HES SO PRECIOUS OMG IM SO PROUD OF HIM AAAAAAAGH!!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️💕💕💕💕💕💕🙏🙏🙏🙏😍😍😍😍😍😫😫😫😫😫💯💯💯💯‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️💥💥💥💥

Then hirano asks again if there’s anything he can do to make it up to kagi, and Kagi’s like “can u let me hug u pls” and hiranos like “got it, but try to avoid my lower back.” and kagi says “ooooh I knew it. I figured you were uncomfortable with that” and hiranos like “HOW THE HELL DID U KNOW THAT.” And it’s just kinda silly hehe

Hirano told him to let him know before doing that kind of stuff (touching his lower back and kissing im assuming) and then Kagi just mentions “ur really kind and sweet” I love Kagi he’s so silly oml

hirano asks if he can use up tomorrows 10 seconds, and then we see THIS

THEYRE SO SWEET OMG IM GONNA CRYYYYYYY!!!!!

they go outside the dorm and are met with hanzawa right outside and yes hanzawa was timing them because when they walked out a timer went off (took 5 minutes on the dot woah)

hanzawa asked if it was a fight, both hirano and Kagi say yes, and then they go and get ice pack!!! Hanzawa’s left to think for a sec tho, and that made me wonder if that’s what hanzawa meant in sasaki to miyano when he said “I’ve seen gay couples get into fights before.”

OK THATS IT I PROMISE. THE ONLY QUESTION I HAVE IS ARE THEY DATING YET AND WHATS GONNA HAPPEN IN THE NEXT CHAPTER. Maybe we’ll get confirmation? Hopefullyyyyyy!!!! Gotta wait another month guys we can do it ‼️‼️

(guys im so bad at analyzing don’t bully me lmao)

this was so hard to do with 3 cats all over me

[popleedelululand]

How many people on twitter do you think I will manage to piss of with that one ?

Edit : for context, some fan were mad when they saw the pics used to promote the worship event (Pavel in front, Pooh behind....bc Thup being the MC, he should be in front, or next to Singha....even MTRD.S had to post to calm thing down....pics in the reblog)

I was so happy and even more exited for the series after the news of Lee being in it....and yet that fucking fandom managed the monumental task of even ruining that....and when i say monumental, i mean it. (I've been an atiny for more than 6 years, i've been through hell (kingdom era) for Ateez and I love both them and the Pit Babe boys the same, they both cames into my life when i needed them and i hope they stay forever. And yet, people in this fandom (PitBabe) managed to do in 6 month what dozen of deadly toxic kpop fandom never archived in 6 years.....make my indifferent to what happens....both the good and the bad....and it hurts ) So let me tell you this, the first thing I learned as an Atiny, almost 7 years ago. To outsider/non fan, fans are the image of the artist, as much as the artist themselves. If the fandom as a bad reputation, the artist will be affected. And i'm telling you this because for the past 4-6 month (if not even before) this fandom and mostly #BabeCats #poohhoopers and #BabeHooPers have not given a very positive image to non fan. You blame the company for the "flop" of Pit Babe the series when it comes to numbers...but have you seen what the # may look like outsider bl fan ? The amount of negativity every single day about every single things ? Do you really think that people will take precious minutes of their life to subject themself to overwhelming negativity just to (re)post a few tweet ??? I know most of you don't give a fuck about non fan....but they are an essential part of a series survival. I'm not saying the company is blameless. They made mistakes and somr questionable choices. But that not something that the majority of viewers cares about, or are even aware of. What they see is negativity upon negativity....and turns away. I know some of only have the best interests of the boys in mind....but if you continue this cycle of negativity, complains and down right whining, you may cause more harm than good. Look what happened today....the author herself had to step up to tell you to stop this madness (and I will lot even talk about the bullshit i saw about SayDarin....gfy) I know that i expose myself to hate and criticism by posting this, but i need to get it of my chest... And if this post make you want to insult me, 1 you're part of the problem i describe and 2....is that really the image you want to give of this fandom, of your artist? I'm not putting everyone in the same bag of course. I often interacted with people who honestly make being on here bearable (i will not @ you, but all of you should recognize themself ^^you and your common senseare more than needed on here)

I will keep on posting on tumblr, bc its fun and i genuinely like interacting with people on here....but outside.....it's so exhausting

[otb-28]

Ok ok so, a few things... First, I never said that nothing bad was ever written about his family on twitter, just that in the examples given in the ask, I didn't see anything so terrible in itself. I should say I don't have twitter so I'm oblivious to most things happening here: what I get is what is filtering in here and that's a choice I'm happy with. and I actually don't see why anyone would still be on that fascist platform but that's another subject

I'm sure there's crazy things happening over there, and since apparently it wasn't clear enough in my tags, I'm specifically talking about what is mentioned in the ask, so those 2 things: (1) bringing up his mom in relation to bbg and (2) pics of Jay and Harry together, which, again, (but maybe you can enlight me) what is the problem with that?

Secondly: I don't think I lack basic empathy and I don't know what I said to trigger you so much. I think Louis is a grown ass man, and he would be able to (1) write a tweet that would be a bit more specific if something in particular bothered him, which, imo, would actually be way more efficient than vague posts that makes the fandom eats itself to shut down the discourse he doesn't want, or, even better (2) step out of twitter and fandom spaces if it was becoming too hurtful. Which btw is the choice of a lot of celebreties, and probably the right one. Fandom spaces are primarly for fans and if you can't handle discourses (discourses, not gratuitous hatred, just to be clear) about you that will inevitably mention your family in the process, then fair enough (I honestly couldn't handle that, it is a lot), but in that case do the right thing: protect your peace and mental health and leave those fucking spaces!!

Now finally, I do think it is an attempt at gaslighting the fandom (as a whole, not me personally thank you) (and again it's textbook gaslighting and nothing that hasn't been done before, I don't know why the idea is so shocking to you). I think the main goal of that tweet is to do some sort of "damage control" for the reel like that probably made the whole thing worse but idk what's happening behind the scene so... It's also probably to pit the rest of the fans against Larries once again (at least it sure does look like it for now, and has effectively done so in addition to make a lot of larries leave). What I DO NOT think, however, is that Louis wrote it. I had to double check you were indeed a larrie bc you don't seem to question that he wrote it at all?? Which is weird but ok. Doesn't bullshit and bullshit 2.0 ring a bell to you?

Also, to answer your last question, I am in here with that url because I fell in love with Louis' music and down the Larrie rabbit hole at the same time. That has tought me a lot about the music industry, and I stayed in larries spaces (in addition to just following Louis' music career) because I believe, as small as it is, that my voice counts. I am here to support a love I believe in, to proudly raise flags during shows (yk making Louis feel confident and protected, his fucking words), and to be one more voice calling out the industry's bullshits such as abusive contracts, stunts, closeting, and PR operations like those weird ass "denial" tweets. I am here because I hope, if H and L (and the rest of the boys) ever get justice, that I can say I did my part. I am here to try and support, in my small capacity, two closeted person that I believe are treated and have been treated poorly by assholes reinforcing a fucked up system. I am here with this url because I do believe that love is only for the braves and that H and L are both very brave. That doesn't stop me (on the contrary) from questioning what I'm fed, nor from having opinions and feelings about situations and events - mainly, in that case, anger and disbelief at some fandom discourses from a part of the fandom I thought wiser than that, and disappointment in Louis underscore activities - and I will NOT apologize for that.

I am also here to laugh at memes and have fun, if I am allowed? bc apparently I need your approval??

What are you here for, @dreamings-free?

What are these anons even talking about I've seen a few tweets where they have brought up his mum to prove how f is not his son, they also post pictures of Jay and harry whenever we get any stunt pics or mention with the family. And I'm not even touching the part about how all his sub fandoms talk about his family members who are no more. Maybe those tweets don't blow up but we do not know what he sees in his mentions

exactly, anon. and I have seen people tweet shitty things about his mum.. not recently but I don't really use twitter much these days so... and like you said we don't know what he sees in his mentions

[bacchuschucklefuck]

they licensed his ass

my finished piece of the FWMS (official name definitely 100%) thing we started a few days ago! I had fun I hope folks had and/or continue to have fun with the sketch as well.

[egophiliac]

So how’s ride kamens going for you as I just pulled my self together long enough to read the other half of the current main story

I've been working on catching up on the event stories since they announced the upcoming main story update! (I totally bombed the last few events...they're so fast-paced and I just didn't have time...😭)

and then of course they went and dropped THIS on us today

(you don't understand, I LOVE Tajador and I already love the two blurry frames they've given us of non-silhouetted Kelka, I'm ready to absolutely lose my shit come the announcement/reveal(?) stream on Thursday --)

[joongdunking]

All men do is lie!! 😂 (But please don't lie/joke about the cook for you part 🥺)

At 1101pm, Dunk said he's gonna go sleep first since he has an event at 10am..

At 1209am, he replied to Joong's video of him cooking steak. He said he can cook for Joong, who invited him to his place!

JOONGDUNK DO NOT JOKE AROUND ABOUT THIS!!! You live 10 minutes away from each other. PLEASE MAKE THIS HAPPEN!!! 😭🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 I wouldn't mind if you go live 😜 We can see chef Dunk in action while Joong looks at him hearts in his eyes and smiling sweetly while eating the steak! I CAN PICTURE THIS SO CLEARLY IN MY HEAD!

At 1242am, Dunk finally sent his good night voice message with a loveee you~

Boy is gonna have a hard time waking up 😂 His good morning voice message will definitely sound extra tired!

Joong expression says it all btw 😂 And he's so obsessed with Fadewwww 😆🤏🏻

[gunsatthaphan]

~ Monthly BL Breakdown: June 2024 ~ 

☀️ Happy July!!! 🧴

Disclaimer: ALL shows can be streamed here or here, as well as on Youtube and other platforms. For more info on where to watch what, check out this post! 

New breakdowns are coming at the end of every month - feel free to add stuff! -> previous breakdowns

What came out this month? (green = seen/currently watching)

🌟 My Love Mix-Up - June 6th (Thailand)

🌟 Love Sea - June 9th (Thailand) ✅

🌟 SunsetxVibes - June 15th (Thailand)

🌟 Blue Boys Part 2 - June 15th (South Korea)

🌟 His Man Season 3 - June 21st (South Korea)

🌟 Marahuyo Project - June 24th (Philippines)

🌟 The Rebound - June 26th (Thailand)

🌟 I Hear the Sunspot - June 26th (Japan)

🌟 Sparks Camp Season 2 (Dating Reality Show) - June 26th (Philippines)

🌟 The Trainee - June 30th (Thailand) ✅

Monthly Likes / Dislikes

❣️ - 👎🏻 -

New series & movie announcements

🎥 Islanders - Date TBA (Taiwan)

🎥 Desire (Omegaverse) - Date TBA (China)

🎥 Khemjira - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 See Your Love - Date TBA (Taiwan)

🎥 Happy Ending (starring JeffBarcode) - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Sugar Dog Life - Coming August 2024 (Japan)

🎥 Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo - Date TBA (South Korea)

🎥 Allure of the Siren - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Soulmate (starring Taec-yeon from 2PM) - Date TBA (South Korea)

🎥 Secret Love - Date TBA (Thailand)

Other news from the BL world

❗️ Bible W. and Jess J., the leads of the upcoming BL 4 Minutes, starred in a music video - short film by the Thai band Getsunova called Spaceless. The film was released on June 4th, the music video was released on June 6th.

❗️ Jeff S. and Barcode T. were revealed to star in the upcoming BL Happy Ending, along with Mike Angelo and Jorin K. A first trailer was released on June 15th. The show is produced by Jeff S. himself.

❗️ Actor Chimon Wachirawit withdrew from the upcoming GMMTV BL Perfect10 Liners due to his struggle with mental health issues. He was previously hospitalized and pulled back from various events, such as the LOL Fanfest and multiple fanmeetings. He released a statement on June 24th saying he has been suffering from depression and is currently receiving treatment. On June 27th, GMMTV issued a statement announcing a hiatus in Chimon's career and the end of the PerthChimon ship as a result. They have mutually agreed to end their work as a pair due to Chimon's condition and will continue to pursue separate career paths. Chimon will return to acting once his treatment is finished.

❗️ It was revealed that the upcoming Taiwanese BL First Note of Love will be a collaboration with the Thai production company StarHunter. The show stars Charles Tu (HIStory 4) and Michael Chang (My Tooth Your Love) as well as Jame Kasama (GenY) who plays a Thai singer. The show is set to premiere in August.

❗️ The production company Be On Cloud announced a lineup event titled "The Next Altitude", which will be held on July 9th. It will feature upcoming projects such as series and various events. Further details are unknown.

❗️ Following the legalization of same-sex marriage in Thailand, the production company StarHunter announced a reality series surrounding the marriage of actors Porsch A. and Arm S. titled "Porsch-Arm The Wedding". The show will follow the pair on their path to their wedding and is thus the first Asian LGBT+ marriage themed reality show. In light of the bill-pass, fellow actors Both N. and Newyear K. also celebrated their engagement after 10 years of being together.

Upcoming series & movies for July

👉🏻 Takara no Vidro - July 1st (Japan)

👉🏻 This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans - July 5th (Thailand)

👉🏻 The Boyfriend (Gay Dating Reality Show) - July 9th (Japan)

👉🏻 The Next Altitude (BOC lineup event) - July 9th (Thailand)

👉🏻 Century of Love - July 10th (Thailand)

👉🏻 Meet You at the Blossom - July 11th (China/Thailand/Taiwan)

👉🏻 Heavens x Candy - July 13th (Japan)

👉🏻 Sky Valley - July 20th (Philippines)

👉🏻 4 Minutes - July 26th (Thailand)

👉🏻 Battle of the Writers - July 29th (Thailand)

[usertoxicyaoi]

INCOMING MARRIAGE OF CONVENIENCE -> LOVERS?? ITS WHAT I DESERVE.

[th3-c0ll3ct3r]

My Tumblr followers. If and when you see this. Just don't look at twitter man

This year is cooked

Sorry for the vent but omg this year man THIS YEAR UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (read tags for context)

[old-long-john]

Anyone got any nice stuff suggestions for someone not having a good time of it lately? Music recs, tv or film recs, loustat fic recs, real life pick me up recs, absolutely anything that helps you feel better when you’re feeling shit?

[jooniez]

just saw a thread on twitter on how seokjin radicalized bts and everybody was quote tweeting with some of their favorite jin moments and all these different times he’s shown so much humanity and empathy and passion and kindness, and a new wave of love and appreciation just hit me … like you know when you see something and it just reminds you of how much appreciation you truly feel and your heart gives that little squeeze??? Yea that’s exactly what just happened to me 🥹🩷 jin is such an incredibly humble and loving and sympathetic and thoughtful and unbelievably kind and open minded and smart and witty and wonderful person and it just made me so happy seeing him get that recognition and appreciation. That man is truly a gem with the way he views people and the world at large and always encourages kindness and patience and understanding and humanity and insane amounts of love and hope. God I just love seokjin so much. So so much and it is so amazing seeing him be showered with love and to see people connecting through his words and actions 💖

[cyellolemon]

Happy pride month all my art is gay and trans so i will rb all my art

[intheeveningsunrise]

ugh

[britneyshakespeare]

i love bratz as dolls but i fuckin hate mga as a brand. fuckin idiots

[fujofriday]

sometimes when i think back about the canon of gravity falls i just imagine ford with this image. like when did he ever get a break