#this guy does not know ANYTHING about critrole

[yudol-skorbi]

a friend

[all-pacas]

Are you comfortable saying what characters and what about the characterization you disagreed with? Just curious!

I don't want to get too specific because I'm not trying to do any kind of call out post! But it was a sort of situation where a specific character is highly whitewashed and can do no wrong, no matter how understandable or even welcome that would be. It's frustrating writing, not just because it's annoying to read about characters who can and are not allowed to Do Anything Wrong, but also because it's not human.

I'm a huge proponent in messy characters. People making mistakes, making assumptions, saying or doing the wrong thing. Good, well-meaning people who make mistakes, or get upset in the heat of the moment. Especially because they can and absolutely do exist with good or "paragon" characters! It adds so much more depth and interest and relatability! I love positive traits taken to the point of flaws! It's my crack!

And here's the tangent that's made me decide to answer this ask: I. Fucking. Love. That. So here's some very random examples of Good People and Characters with Positive Traits that can be flaws:

PETER PARKER. Amazing Spider-Man's semi-recent Sin's Past arc directly discussed this. Peter has a hero complex; he IS a hero. He compulsively needs and wants to save everyone, explicitly due to his own guilt complexes. It also makes him controlling. He will or won't allow help, will or won't share information. He keeps things to himself, he refuses to share, he intentionally keeps people out of the loop. He wants to save everyone. He thinks he knows how to do it. He dismisses and pushes friends away. He is a great hero and often a shitty friend.

CRITROLE, my guys Caleb and Nott. Best friends, they love one another, they are ultra found family. About halfway through the campaign, Nott begins to struggle with her personal issues, openly and obviously (Xhorhass and Flaskgate). Caleb cares for her a lot. He wants what is best for her. Instead of talking to her about her problems or calling her out on her recent recklessly dangerous behavior, he refuses to talk to her at all. He enables her, an alcoholic, with alcohol. It isn't that he wants her self-harming or in danger, it's because he loves her and can't bring himself to call her out or bring himself into conflict. He Fucks Up.

ALOY Zero Dawn. Another heroic type, she spends about half her time refusing friendship, help, companions, all of it. Her catchphrase is "I'm faster alone." She saves the world and skips the victory party. She's too busy. She has too much on her plate. She hurts her friends. They tell her this. She pushes them away. It isn't because she doesn't want friends -- she's actually a fairly warm person -- or even because she's so anti-social. She has the best of motives and reasons, and she is still a bad friend. She is cold. She is unkind. She is quite cruel to [SEQUEL GAME SPOILER CHARACTER], who we AND she knows does not deserve it, but she sees too much of herself in this person and lashes out. We know why she does it. It's still a dick move. We still love Aloy.

(you might think I'd include current hyperfixation smoothbrain vampire on this list. i cannot. he is an asshole on purpose. his minimal goodness is in spite of this, not because of it.)

I'm not for a second going to pretend that I'm a great writer worth bragging about. But it's something I like to do too. My current OC Tav lady is passive and easy-going. This is a flaw. She isn't passive and easy going because she's okay with shit, but because she feels like she can't and has no right to complain. If you give someone a Trait, follow it to its logical end. How is it good? How is it bad?

It isn't that "these characters are flawed" is some plot twist, it isn't that "characters having flaws" is news. It's that in all three examples, these are characters whose positive traits (heroism, love for another) have the side effect of hurting others. These are characters who are sympathetic (Aloy is isolated, Aloy lashes out for understandable reasons) but still make mistakes (being mean to someone who doesn't deserve it).

In the fanfic I was ranting about, there is neither. The person does not make mistakes, does not take their heroic, story-specific flawlessness into this direction. When arguing, they have the moral high ground, but also the flawless composure to not be rude or hurtful or controlling or a little bit rude in making their points. The other characters fall over themselves to apologize, to understand, to feel sorry for opposing them. It isn't just that they have no flaws (a subjective phrase), it's that the universe twists and conforms to them. There are no consequences, no stakes. They are the sun at the center of the universe. And I vastly prefer messy heroes.

[sagamemes]

critrole sentences starters  — 100 quotes from 100 episodes.   critrole just posted a list, so here’s about 100 lines of dialogue compiled, edited, and occasionally split into smaller pieces for roleplay purposes. topics and tone shift... wildly. and as usual, alter anything you want to make it fit your muse better.  tw:  murder, death, self-destructive intent.

❝  welcome to [place].  ❞

❝  is that a natural thing for you guys to just attack each other in moments of stress?  ❞

❝  i’ve never travelled with a bunch of people i thought would die in front of me!  ❞

❝  yeah. the world does need an asshole.  ❞

❝  tell you what. i start sweating real hard, i’ll let you know, okay?  ❞

❝  well, my social anxiety is getting the best of me. i’m taking a walk. goodbye.  ❞

❝  i think that the bust of a tiny, curly-headed 120-year-old woman needs to slam its way into the torso of that beast.  ❞

❝  what do they look like, these buttons?  ❞

❝  i don’t normally speak with the dead on a first date, but we’ll think about it.  ❞

❝  what if we kill all of them and come back and rob this place?  ❞

❝  i’m always ready to make a damn fool of myself.  ❞

❝  it’s a collection of crazy tales about this weird fella.  ❞

❝  i did my best. every town i went to and every town i left, no matter how they treated me, and a lot of them treated me with deep disrespect…  ❞

❝  i left every town better than i found it.  ❞

❝  i mean, i don’t want to impose… but i’m bleeding profusely.  ❞

❝  what happens if you have a childhood, but it’s like barely a childhood ‘cause it was supposed to be someone else’s childhood, but it was you instead?  is that a childhood?  ❞

❝  two shit throws in a row. it can’t get any fucking worse.  ❞

❝  i am your god. long may i reign. eat my fruit.  ❞

❝  code:  modern literature!  ❞

❝  welcome to the [group]!  ❞

❝  you’re very liberal with your parenting.  ❞

❝  one thing that i have realized today is that i need to work on my interpersonal skills and friendship making.  ❞

❝  try not to cut up my face, okay?  ❞

❝  i want to say thank you for the package you sent me. i know that it was really–  ❞

❝  you are blue.  ❞

❝  an example, it is.  ❞

❝  i’m trying to be nice. this is as painful for me as it is for you. just give me five seconds.  ❞

❝  i could check my smell bag, but i trust you right now.  ❞

❝  case closed.  ❞

❝  i think what his holiness is trying to convey is that he will be going on a spiritual journey, and there’s only room on that train for one dude!  ❞

❝  look to purchase, [name]!  just look!  ❞

❝  hello [title/nickname]. this is [name]. please respond.  ❞

❝  that sounds like someone whose ass i would like to kick.  ❞

❝  sometimes the things that are the most beautiful are the things that can hurt you the most.  ❞

❝  it’s actually /[title]/ [last name].  ❞

❝  this one time i saw a bug carrying a piece of bread that was like five times its size and he was carrying upstairs, like up and then he would turn, and then up, and then he would turn.  ❞

❝  fluffernutter!  ❞

❝  sleep well with your bad decisions.  ❞

❝  sometimes boys like it if you are a little bit aloof, a little bit cold to them afterwards, like maybe they did something wrong, and they don’t even know what it was.  ❞

❝  well, i would race to the...  ‘ apricot ’  and seize it so that she can’t pick that fruit. keep it for ourselves in our fruit basket, and make off and decide if we’re going to make marmalade later or not.  ❞

❝  i… wait.  ❞

❝  alright, let’s treat this situation with all the seriousness it demands  ❞

❝  i’m really really nice, but i don’t always make the best decisions…  ❞

❝  what, you don’t want a unicorn pooping on his face?  ❞

❝  yes. it’s a chair. it’s a standard chair.  ❞

❝  are you in love with me?  ...are you secretly in love with me?  ❞

❝  i win!  ❞

❝  why is just my dick purple?  ❞

❝  now, [name] is number two. you are number one. you are in charge. you just… dress to impress, okay?  ❞

❝  what happens when a moorbounder enters a feline beauty contest?  it’s a cat-tastrophe!  ❞

❝  you’re not my type.  ❞

❝  i am of the empire. but i am no friend to the empire.  ❞

❝  it’s still you though, right?  ❞

❝  you don’t get to talk anymore.  ❞

❝  it’s a regular fucking turtle.  ❞

❝  don’t let the irons be your strength.  ❞

❝  you pick and choose your fights.  ❞

❝  best not give in to a man i can crush with one hand.  ❞

❝  there’s a dick hidden somewhere in there.  ❞

❝  back up a little bit. so we met at like a circus. it was a crazy night. but after a while, yada yada–  ❞

❝  man, you made vulnerability look so easy.  ❞

❝  well, i’ve always learned that the best way to deal with your problems is to run away from them.  ❞

❝  and i know that you lost your family, but we can be your new one and we love you very much, [name], no matter what happened. okay?  ❞

❝  i guess in a way i’m an orphan maker.  ❞

❝  i’m sorry. i was trying to do the thing.  ❞

❝  i killed my family, i’’ll throw you under a bridge.  ❞

❝  i heard you.  ❞

❝  i don’t mean to raise my voice.  ❞

❝  this is precisely the sort of attitude i’ve been saying everyone should be having. this is what i’ve been waiting for. this is great.  ❞

❝  you need me more than i need you.  ❞

❝  you pooping?  ❞

❝  the rule is that evil dies.  ❞

❝  eventually, someday someone will pray for a miracle, pray for something to save them to whatever gods are nearby, and that prayer will be answered because you’ll show up.  ❞

❝  fucking seaweed wraps are the shit!  ❞

❝  oh shit, are we a cult?  ❞

❝  hey everybody, don’t mean to intrude. obviously, there’s a lot going on here, but we’re going to be sort of walking around for probably the next couple days and there’s some other people wandering through that are… they’re bad business. they’re probably going to do a lot of damage, possibly a fire, who knows?  but we’re trying to take care of that.  ❞

❝  we’d really appreciate a helping hand and we’ll try our best to stay out of everybody’s way.  ❞

❝  if there’s any birds—hey up there.  ❞

❝  if you’ve seen anything, we’d love to just get in and out with as little hassle as possible. thanks, that’d be great.  ❞

❝  you know, the concept of gravity was first discovered by a wizard known as iz-aak newton.  ❞

❝  but i would rather you put your faith in me for something more important than my curiosity.  ❞

❝  it’s better to have somebody’s word broken than to have no word at all.  ❞

❝  i pick and choose my apologies.  ❞

❝  we will trust you if you tell us who the members of the [name] are.  ❞

❝  i could be her beacon.  ❞

❝  yes, i think we have a job to finish.  ❞

❝  can i get a hug?  ❞

❝  it’s entirely off-putting how disarmingly charming you are.  ❞

❝  i genuinely do not know how to react. take that as a compliment.  ❞

❝  finish it, champion.  ❞

❝  kill me.  ❞

❝  i smell like a crayon.  ❞

❝  many fairy tales with an old crone in the woods.  ❞

❝  have you ever had a blueberry cupcake?  ❞

❝  stop—shut up, [name]!  god-fucking-alright.  ❞

❝  ignore the fucking undead, okay!  ❞

❝  nothing happens for a reason. it’s absolute fucking chaos.  ❞

❝  i’m asking you to open your heart to chaos  ❞

❝  you were not born with venom in your veins.  ❞

❝  please. please help me  ❞

❝  we’re being followed by a tiny island.  ❞

[ariyadaivaris]

- i didnt realize that jiro had already moved on to nxt...well not "moved on" of course but hang on who the FUCK wore a critrole tshirt to 205 live. who are you. WHO ARE YOU. I HATE YOU. IM GOING TO BITE YOU

- i dont wanna watch thisss i already have never felt so indifferent to a new wrestler in my life. this guy is nothing to me and sunil is going to lose to him for no reason. i hate this...i just. i don't care how inevitably talented/whatever these new recruits are really. there's just nothing there! there's not a story there's just the wrestling which everyone marketing 205 has always mistakenly taken as it appeal. and it's just not! it's not at all. why was lince teamed with john morrison whadda hale.........where's gran my friend gran :( for that matter why isn't lhp on 205 still i miss them so so much. also riddle should still be killed

- oh do we have a 20 minute main event? where tony and ariya win which i know because i accidentally checked twitter? worm? maybe this will be something

- uhm i should say something about the new guy whos name i forgot but i dont want to. i don't like the look of him. the mma background the leopard print the demeanor it all feels Bad or at least like Something I've Seen Before That Should Be Taken As A Red Flag and maybe that is unfair but i don't care enough to form another opinion. c'est la vie as they say

- sorry i feel like i am complainier than usual which given how late i am to boot is not really great. i would say i haven't been doing well (which i haven't, in fairness, though when am i ever doing well lol) but to be honest i just really, really, REALLY have not wanted to watch. i don't know exactly why, knowing tony and ariya actually win this match should be a hook for me, but it's a combination of the bogus debut match and the...having to expend energy being excited about gold standie match. i know it doesn't seem like it but it takes me a lot of energy to watch 205, actually. it always has in a weird way. back when i took eight hours to dissect an episode which was a better time really even if i was cringe, to now when i spend even longer just trying to garner the enthusiasm to withstand a show that is just not something i expect things from anymore, that occasionally provides me a foothold regarding the only two characters i think about in depth anymore and that i pounce on in order to compensate for the lack of enthusiasm everywhere else. i am very passionate about 205. it's something i have worked hard to understand and that takes a lot out of me, which enjoying anything usually does. if i'm too excited about something, i can put off engaging with it for months, even years. if 205 wasn't weekly i probably still wouldn't have watched this episode. i just don't have the energy i guess. its...idk. i don't really know what i can do about it besides stop watching but...i don't want to do that either. i dunno :(

- "they know they can rely on each other. they know they can trust one another." feels VERY good to hear that about tony and ariya to be honest. healing <3 i like that for them and i think it's been really genuinely hard earned

- matching black gear. this is all i have wanted. thank you   - okay...okay i hate to say it but ariya's hair has been having a rough time of it lately huh! it happens to everyone...he’ll come back from this

- oh my god wait did tony's flexing taunt actually work...why did [pop punk lead singer newbie] take so long to come back from it. usually when tony does that it just pisses people off and just now tony had to like reassure him out of the corner. i know it was probably him being Too Mad To Speak (especially him mocking it just now) but it's SO funny to think of it as tony actually intimidating someone lol. i think he deserves it. i would LOVE to meet the person successfully unnerved by tony

- support <3

- so bored by this match they're talking about meiko satomura on commentary. listen who can blame them though? i think more people should talk about meiko satomura at all times. she is very cool. who ISN'T boring next to her

- that was...some not-good camera work!!! what else to be expected from the ole double yew double yew

- ARIYA SETTING UP POP PUNK FOR THE MOONSAULT WITH THE KICK TO THE HEAD!!!!!!!!! LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOO THAT RULED. TAG TEAM MOVES

- AWH there's a nice culmination of the last two weeks! tony almost taps and ariya saves him. tony is a lot more willing to tap out than ariya is, quicker to preserve his health, and this time that moment of almost surrendering is used to put him in a worse spot. ariya sees tony about to get fucked over and jumps in. i don't know how to word it entirely, but there's just that sense that they look out for each other! even if tony was going to tap, the only person to take it out on is the person putting him in that position. tony never has to tap if ariya's there to save him. that works out just fine. they care about each other a lot. if you ask me. just my opinion. :) smile

- they're doing more tag team moves teehee ^_^ also that uranage to backstabber RULES that's SO fucking brutal!!!!!!!! no one is surviving that!!!!!!!! gold standard tag team champions NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- ariya's sell of that kick to the head. he's noodle

- tony save awiya...................

- who am i to deny that that springboard move was cool. i'm only human

- TONY SAVE ARIYA..................TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- ARIYA AND TONY WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- i LOVE seeing them develop new tag team moves and i LOVE seeing them point and laugh whenever they beat someone. mischief! mischief and rudeness! i love them. i care gold standard

[luckthebard]

I’ve been thinking about CritRole campaign 2′s almost accidental commentary on the relationship between identity and memory. 

There’s something interesting in the different responses most people (I’m including myself here) have to the concepts of Molly and Lucien, vs. Caleb and Bren. I think it’s likely that the difference is rooted as much in how those characters themselves think about their pasts and actions as anything else, but even that is interesting to compare. 

Molly insisted he wasn’t Lucien, and he didn’t want to know who that was, and furthermore that he wasn’t responsible for what that person did. Most viewers seem fine going with Molly on that. So the conclusion becomes: because Molly can’t remember, the moral responsibility of anything his body did in its past life is gone. We also don’t have specifics about who Lucien was or what he might have done, so the question of what he’s responsible for is nebulous and unknowable. It doesn’t seem likely, but he might have been a great guy. So Molly’s whole thing was moving forward, living in the moment, and never feeling guilt or regret. Which is something we might potentially have seen challenged in the narrative a bit more, but, well...alas.

Caleb has also drawn a distinction between himself and Bren. “Caleb Widogast, is my name.” It happened much more accidentally for him, but he has also been “building a new person”. But he remembers his past and claims and feels responsibility for what his past self did - even though he lost 11 years to the asylum. The 28-year-old who fled the asylum certainly wasn’t anything like 17-year-old Bren. But, again perhaps because this is what the character himself says and feels, lots more viewers embrace the idea that Caleb is totally and fully responsible for what his past self did. Because he can remember it, and is consumed by. 

I guess my bigger question is, if Caleb had similarly stated that a different person held moral responsibility for his past actions, would it have been as well received? I don’t think so. I know part of what I find interesting about Caleb is his messy struggle for atonement, and I don’t think the character would be as likable if he didn’t feel guilt over what he did. But given that, I also think this says something interesting about how we engage with memory and identity. Are we our memories? Is Caleb not allowed to build a new person as fully and freely as Molly did, in the eyes of either himself or the viewers, because he can remember his sins? And who bares moral responsibility for anything Lucien did, if Molly’s memory loss absolves him? Is Molly’s philosophy about identity transferable to anyone who can remember what they did, or does it rely on a total lack of knowledge of the past? 

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Sophomore Year Ep 5

The One With Garthy O’ Brien

Welcome back you guys and a special shoutout to all of y’all who are fans of FH and CritRole. I don’t know about you but Matt and Brennan basically shaved a full year off of my life between Wednesday and Thursday with their DM machinations. Now we don’t have time to unpack all of that, but we can at least tackle the FH stuff so let’s jump right in.

Last we left off, the gang had just arrived at the floating pirate city of Leviathan. Pirates immediately start hauling them in and everyone turns to Fabian for a cue on how to react (at the exact same time, hilariously). Fabian tells them all to be mean and he makes a pirate cry immediately. Wild.  

They meet Jemina Joy who is a very cool Warforged (living automaton) pirate and also the boatswain of the city (pronounced “bosun”, they’re the boss of the crew and all the stuff on the boat, I was very into Monkey Island as a kid). One of her arms is a cannon and I need you to know that. Anyway, Fabian name drops his dad to try and get them some respect. It goes pretty OK but not as well as Adaine simply pointing out Cathilda’s presence. Jemina fully takes the knee and calls her, “Cathilda the Black, Terror of the Celestine Sea.”  Fig helps Cathilda disguise herself so she doesn’t draw any unnecessary attention. Despite the clout, Jemina still says she’s seizing the boat (it seems like they do this to get materials to keep the city afloat). Fig tries to move her with the power of rock because of course. She hits at 23 on a 20 DC check for that because of course. 

While she’s doing that nonsense, Adaine and Riz are--as always--trying to keep the party alive. Riz rolls a high perception check and noticed a pretty boy tiefling watching Fabian looking all hero worshippy. 

Thoroughly swayed between the name dropping and the rock and roll and the Cathilda of it all, Jemina offers to let them buy the Van-Boat back. Fabian, as always, is ready to throw any amount of cash at the problem and Adaine, as always, is trying to be responsible with their cash. After a hilariously long sidebar (which includes Fig, who introduced herself as a very famous rock star, saying they should “Act the part of the pauper,” which is a wild turn of phrase to just drop out of nowhere) the tiefling from before shows up and pays for the Van for them. He introduces himself as Alistair Ash and tells them that he paid with rocks magick’d to look like gold for ten minutes so they better book it. They have another long sidebar about whether they should pay or not with Adaine and wildly Fig on the side and of paying. They pay and Alistair agrees to take them to see Garthy O ’Brien (the pirate Bill had been dealing with).

On the way to see Garthy, the gang finds out that Allister is a warlock, his patron being none other than the damned madman himself--Bill Seacaster. Hilariously, Bill doesn’t take his charges souls. He makes them do microtransactions for their spells and recruit others like it’s a pyramid scheme. I don’t know what he’s gonna do will gold in HELL but it is on brand, I’ll give him that. 

A random dwarf calls Riz a slur so Fig and Kristen get him to jump to his death by turning into him and telling him he’s been dead for ten years, respectively.

Normal D&D stuff. 

Anyway, they make it to the Golden Gardens which is Garthy O’ Brien’s casino/brothel/resort (“Pirate Moulin Rogue” is how Brennan described it) and we learn that Brennan specifically made this character to F with the chat because they are this beefcake, non-binary,  aasimar/half-orc, tatted-up, succubus. My chat is usually on like a couple of seconds lag and I could have timed exactly how long the lag was by glancing over and counting off the seconds until the horned up comments started flooding in. You knew exactly what you were doing here Mr. Lee Mulligan. 

Garthy invites them in for drinks, drugs, and use of the facilities where Kristen accidentally takes the drink of a mindflayer (think, humanoid Cthulhu-monster). He’s James Whitlaw, Captain of the Crimson Claw and enemy of Bill Seacaster. The group tries to smooth things over but Fabian Sparta kicks him in the chest after he drags Bill. There’s a bit of a tousle but Garthy shuts that down before it can get out of hand. 

Post fight, the group questions Garthy and here are the highlights of that discussion:

They were supplying Bill with Palimpsests. Doing dead drops like the group assumed. 

The last time they were at the hotel, they got told by the new staff (ie: the demons in disguise) that Bill wasn’t coming and when Garthy wouldn’t play ball with them, the demons attacked them and took their pouch of gems. Garthy says the demons were probably there to ambush them for their gems. They especially wanted the Sapphire but was useless to them because it already had a Celestial inside of it.

The demons had been summoned and bound to the material plane by someone very powerful.  

Garthy doesn’t usually get gems from the Red Waste. 

Garthy has heard of the Shadowcat. They can’t see the Shadowcat in the pic (just Pok who they say is cute). Alistair also can’t see Kalina. 

Garthy tells Fig that, like they already knew, it would be super hard to break Gorthalax out. It would be hard for them to do, even considering curse breaking is one of their specialties. 

The crown of the Nightmare King passed through the Gold Gardens recently, brought by--surprise, surprise--Adaine’s mom. Adaine’s mom was coming in to get a curse broken--one placed on her by the crown. With it broken, she’d be able to handle it more easily. She tricked Garthy into doing it without revealing exactly what the curse was and was kicked out once it was revealed. Garthy’s not sure where she went but they know she was frustrated that she couldn’t just teleport there (because she hadn’t been there before and didn’t have a description of it). She left on a Falinel-bound ship. 

Garthy says Gorthalax is likely in a lot of pain in the gem he’s in.

The demons needed the gem for some kind of ritual sacrifice (namely, the one with Riz and Fig).

Also, Kristen is fully drunk for all of this. 

Post info-dump, Van-Boat (whose actual name is Zathriel btw, more info from Garthy) mindlinks with Gorgug to tell them that a fight has broken out. Gorgug has the Van drive towards them. The group pays for a suite and then Riz, Fig, and Adaine fly over to the Van (with Tracker following in her spectral wolf form). Riz jumps in the front seat, takes the wheel from Gilear, and commits a ton of vehicular manslaughter. During the fight, Sandra-Lynn gets shot and falls off of Baxter. She almost goes down but Tracker catches and heals her. 

They all make it back and proceed to reenact the house party scene from that one John Mulaney sketch (“a bunch of drunk toddlers”). People are getting wasted. People are getting tattoos. People are doing drugs. Kristen is riding Tracker like a horse (the G rated way, tyvm).  

Then, uh, something not super chill happens.

Sandra-Lynn gets totally wasted and decides she’s gonna teach Fig (who is a little cagey about if she likes anyone by the by) how to flirt without the use of disguise self and such. She decides she’s gonna demonstrate on Garthy which she does. Successfully. Sandra-Lynn who is in a relationship that is monogamous as her request. 

The drunk toddlers are herded into a room by Fig and Kristen. Kristen has Tracker cast the Moon Haven spell on the room and Fig and Adaine go to Garthy’s room to make sure Sandra-Lynn isn’t in trouble or anything. She’s not in trouble (yet) but, based on the way she’s clearly hastily redressed, she’s clearly about to run into some. Fig books it out of there, mortified. 

Fig and Adaine lie about where they’ve been to Gilear and then they report back to the group. Tracker--who is pretty out of it at this point--sleepily asks who Sandra-Lynn’s been kissing. Everyone realizes, Oh no, Jawbone is poly but the relationship is supposed to be monogamous. Big yikes. Kristen feeds Tracker a mumbly lie about how Sandra-Lynn is kissing Jawbone that I really hope doesn’t blow up in her face because then it will be the hat trick of main relationships imploding in as many episodes. Kristen and Riz go back to Garthy’s room because Kristen wants to cast something (Detect Good and Evil, the result of which we don’t see this ep--though I feel like it would have to ping Garthy since they have celestial blood, right?) and Kristen notices that someone cast Clairvoyance on her and Riz, meaning someone knows they were outside.   

Meanwhile, Fabian sneaks off to Crow’s Keep to be an emo pirate boy and talk to his dad while staring out into the sea. He’s suddenly surrounded by cloaked figures. Brennan rolls a bunch of dice, triggering Lou’s fight-or-flight, before revealing the cloaked dudes are just Alistair and the rest of his warlock friends who are all huge fans of their patron’s son. And we don’t get to find out what, if anything, they want from Fabian until next ep because that’s where Brennan ends the ep. 

Detention

Sandra-Lynn for Cheating on Jawbone

OK, there’s a lot to unpack here. 

I’ll start by saying we technically don’t know if she went through with it or not since Fig interrupted her before things could very far but we know she got naked which is more than far enough to be a betrayal imo. 

And it’s so wild because she for sure could have been in an open relationship. She’s the one who stipulated monogamy. 

On the one hand, I appreciate that Brennan is playing these NPCs as human (“human”) and failable and realistic but on the other hand, man I can’t stand cheating. And it’s not like she hasn’t cheated before. That’s, like, a major plot point. But it’s easier to gloss over something that happened a long time ago and we didn’t have to witness in real time.

Like, this isn’t good. It’s not gonna be good for the group. She forced Kristen into a position where she has to lie to/keep secrets from Tracker potentially. Also, Tracker is a wolf. There’s a non-zero chance she’s gonna be able to smell what happened. Do you really want one possibly both of the healers on the team mad at you? And they weren’t just dating They’re LIVING TOGETHER. And not just together. Together with like five--pending six--children (and pending one adult). That’s a lot of people that are gonna get forcible sucked into your drama. 

And poor Jawbone. I know he’s a trooper and he’s def been through worse but just because you can deal with something, doesn’t mean you should have to.

Anyway, Adaine said it best: Sandra-Lynn is both more and less cool than I thought she was. 

Honor Roll

Riz for His Driving Skills

I couldn’t tell you why but the phrase, “vehicular manslaughter” is so inherently funny to me.  Riz hitting a nat 20 to just mow down all the attackers in his path was hilarious. 

Note: I also could have given this spot to Garthy but I’m a little ambivalent on all the enabling of awful but hilarious life choices. 

Random Thoughts

Adaine trying to blend in by saying ahoy to everyone and getting a tricorner hat from her jacket was so good (big props to everyone who drew that, especially y’all who also gave Boggy a hat). Also, I’m glad she’s been using her jacket more in general so she’ll be more likely to remember it in an emergency.

@jamiebluewind made this really useful post with the descriptions of all the new characters and the tats the Bad Kids got which you can find here.

Also, @ttttttterrence shouted me out during the livestream so I’m returning the gesture. What’s up man!

I like that when the group is discussing how to split the cost of the suite, Fabian is just like, “I got it, don’t worry.” He clearly takes pride in being able to throw money around for his friends.

Fabian, who has for sure seen Cathilda in action during a fight: Maids can’t kill. 

Ally’s amused disbelief at the phrase, “Act the part of the pauper,” was sending me. 

Adaine: There’s no way you’re an only child. 

OK, this isn’t totally related to this ep, it’s more a point about FH in general that I don’t think I’ve brought up yet. How does a fantasy high school work in a world where races age at vastly different rates? Like goblins have a max age of about 60 and reach adulthood at 8. Meanwhile, elves reach physical maturity at the same age as humans but because they live to be like 700+ years old, they’re not considered adults until, like, the age of 100. At first I thought they were ignoring racial aging differences (like I do when I write fantasy I can’t be bothered with the implications usually) but in this and last ep, they were brought up. And I thought it might be that we were saying what everyones’ ages were in human years but, based on the info we’ve heard (like how far back Pok died for example) their ages have to be in normal years. Which brings me to theory 3: everyone ages physically and mentally at the same rate as humans to adulthood and then some races just decline more quickly than others afterwards. 

Fig: I sink into a deep depression. 

Alistair has an adorable cockney accent and he might be a little bit of a sociopath but let’s put a pin in that until next week. Oh, also, I was so sure he was gonna be Fabian’s brother too, just like half the table. 

Brennan so good at adding things in for flavor to make the world cooler. What prompted this comment is him saying that as Tracker travels in spectral wolf form, a forest path appears at her feet briefly. Very cool attention to detail.

Bill running a MLM warlock system where you pay by the spell is so, so funny. I actually am not sure if the MLM aspect of it was planned or if someone (one of the girls I think) said it as a joke and Brennan ran with it but that’s extremely funny. 

I know how leveling works in the above-game for balance but, in game, I feel like there’s no reason Bill and Gorthalax shouldn’t give everyone a level of Warlock. That would get them all 2 cantrips (eldritch blast, mage hand, and chill touch are options) and 2 level one spells (charm person, hellish rebuke, and charm person can be clutch).

Speaking of, I almost feel like this episode was setting up Fabian and Gorgug to multiclass. Fabian’s dad being a patron is a prime opportunity for him to get some warlock levels (and it would be very good for his aesthetic. I mean, magic pirate? Hell yeah). And Gorgug later in the episode says something like, “I could fix the van so fast if I had magic.” I wouldn’t be surprised if he gets a level in a caster class soon. 

“Did you learn your magic in a book?”/”Yes!”/”Oh, lah-dih-dah. I can read.”

Fig: Adaine is the best at armies!

Forget if I mentioned this before but I’m very pleasantly surprised that Adaine’s mom is such a driving force this season. She’s one of the characters we explored the least last season which was a bummer for me because I really wanted to know what was going on in her head. Looks like we’re close to getting some insight soon. I’m guessing we might have another ep or half ep until we get there unless something else happens to sidetrack the group. 

I glossed over it in the actual recap but Fig casting disguise self on herself to look like the dwarf who was picking on Riz was just some peak Emily with an assist from chaos monster Ally. Here’s the scene. What’s funny is I thought I knew what Emily’s thought process was (If he sees himself, he’ll very likely be thrown off his rhythm) but then she was like, “I wanted to be someone from the area and he’s the only guy I’ve met.” Lol, bold of me to assume I have any idea what’s going on in her head. 

Adaine and, by extension, Siobhan just casually knows what a forecastle is (it’s “a raised deck at the bow of a ship”). Also, Brennan uses the word susurrous which means “full of whispering sounds”. That’s twice I had to reach for my dictionary (by which I mean Google). 

The whole concept of Garthy is extremely cool and I’m specifically talking about race. I’ve never heard of a half-orc aasimar because in fantasy books it’s usually the humans getting it on with everyone and making half-whatever babies but there’s no reason a half-orc couldn’t have celestial ancestry. The idea of a risen devil is also very dope and something I’ve only seen once (and as art, not in an RPG context--Edit: Actually, I’ve seen in twice. In one chapter of Ah My Goddess, Hell sticks a demon onto the main goddess to try and corrupt her and she ends up purifying the demon which was wild when I read it in high school but you’re not here for me to go off about my comfort manga so let’s keep moving). The idea that there are “bad” gods and so their opposition, their “demons” would be essentially angels is very clever and something I hadn’t really considered. Also the phrase  “The job is the fuck people into being decent basically,” is really A+. Well done Brennan. 

Also, my knowledge of CR Campaign 1 is very spotty so this may be very off but I feel like Brennan watched a bunch of Gilmore scenes and then snorted a line of coke before he created Garthy. 

Kristen: I’m proud of the choices I make. 

Emily: They eat brains but also drink beer?

Captain Whitlock has a peg leg tentacle on his face that he tries to face touch Kristen with and Tracker is not having ANY of that. “Under no circumstances.”

Poor Fabian, giving an awesome speech to Captain Whitlock and then rolling a 1 on his Sparta Kick. Luckily, Gorgug hit a 26 on a DC 25 challenge to give him the help action so Fabian didn’t eat it.

Sidenote, we learn there used to be a pirate king but Bill killed him. Sounds about right. 

I’m even more convinced that the rule is people who have seen Kalina before can see her in the picture after the conversation they had about it in this ep. Glad they decided to puzzle it out some more--even though I think it’s a little iffy to be spilling all your info to a pirate you literally just met (especially Fig--closed book my ass). 

Garthy mentions again that the NK defies categorization--something that came up in Adaine’s research. I’m wondering how that’s gonna come into play later. 

“I could tell you a very sweet lie, which is more my style.” I really like Garthy and I hope that continues to be the case.

Gorgug: That would be pretty disruptive...Yeah.

“Your name’s Van-Boat.”/”No!”

Riz, right before a nat 20 to commit Vehicular manslaughter: Get out of the way Gilear. I’ve killed people before, it’s fine.

I loved everyone being like, “Gilear you killed people! You’re officially an adventurer!”

Gilear, with the intensity of someone a firefighter has just pulled out of a burning building: I need the frog.

Tracker does like a crazy blood-brother type ritual for healing which is interesting because you’d think that would be bad what with the werewolf-ism but I guess it’s just through biting.

Fabian and Ragh peer pressuring Riz to do snuff, Ragh actually getting him to do it with a hippie speech about mind expansion, and Riz getting high as hell and getting Memento tats all over his body (NIGHT YORB--also, Sklonda is gonna LOVE this I bet) is such a wild series of events. 

Kristen casts a spell on Gilear so she’ll take all of his damage and he starts getting hurt the second he’s out of her eyeshot. Wild. 

“I cast friends on Gilear.”

I am going to murder Brennan for that cell tower gag. 

Sidebar: I don’t have a picture of the Leviathan map but if someone has it someone I’ll post the link here for anyone who could use it.

And while we’re side tracked, shoutout to the dude who made this song based on Gorgug’s last ep. The line, “My girlfriend's really mad and she's also a goat” is truly golden.

Oh! And someone randomly gifted me a twitch subscription to dropout! If you’re on here, thanks somePloops!

Kristen and Tracker getting neck tats of each others’ names is just so so much. 

Also, let’s pour one out for the fan-artists of FH that are also fans of CR and had to watch half the cast of both getting tatted up in back to back weeks, making any canon drawing that much more complicated. 

I don’t think I fully realized until this ep when Adaine was the only sober one of her friends in a bar reading a book how closely she’s tracking my high school/college experience. Her, “Everyone is drunk by which I mean everyone but me is drunk,” killed me because I have said that verbatim on so many occasions. Watching Siobhan play Adaine is like, therapy by proxy for me.

“I am a child.”

Adaine, lying badly: I have also taken drugs.

Kristen has a stealth of -3. Woof. 

Fig, Adaine and Riz each got nat 1 20 this ep. Fabian, Gorgug, and Adaine each rolled a nat 1 but Fabian’s was cancelled by Gorgug and Adaine’s was on initiative. 

[readbythestarlight]

c2e84

Wow, that was a surpassingly normal ad!

Oh boy here we go lore drop!

Therizdune the chained oblivion who is chained at the bottom of the abyss

"He’s basically the boogeyman" if the boogeyman was a HORRIBLE ELDRITCH MONSTER

...IS the boogeyman a horrible eldritch monster?! Oh god.

[[MORE]]

This is great and awful like terrible abyssal eldritch things that can creep into the world through gaps and rifts encourages people to be violent and awful

Also I’m so satisfied that the chains actually ended up being significant

Okay so Yussah knows a guy who we know knows Trent, so... that’s not cool. I mean o totally trust Yussah now it’s not that, it’s just can we trust Ormid?

So not all the Cerberus assembly is bad re: Yussah. But like he’s basically a hermit living in his tower, yeah? Who doesn’t go into the Empire? So like how out of touch is he?

"Trent seems just creepy" that’s putting it mildly

Money? Ball bearings? xD

Oh nice some of the Halas money

Oh Nott honey

Fjord being like "Nott? Caleb please talk to your goblin."

And they’re just all discussing it in the background

NOTT DO NOT

oh boy don’t like that

Oh dear...

"Your FACE is stupid" oh Nott

Lock the gem away somewhere

"You’ll still work at it and try?" Oh honey of course he will

I like how they handled that. They didn’t put Nott down, they gently reminded her that Halas can’t be trusted.

Oh I hope that doesn’t trigger Caleb

And I hope that didn’t just fuck them over with Halas maybe

Cad’s like "can we not?" and then just silencing everyone who keeps trying to talk to him

Y’all need to call your OTHER wizard friend (aka HOTT BOI) to let him know you’re fine and not dead or anything cause this is probably the longest he’s gone without hearing from you

"Everything’s been smoothed over" I wonder if Dairon had anything to do with that

I wonder where she is...

Also this is late cause he said it like ages ago but I love Cad’s little bits of homely wisdom, like the whole holes in a bucket metaphor.

PLATINUMMMMMMM

A WHOLE SATCHEL

TIME TO BUY A KEEP Y’ALL

Kidding I like the xhorhaus

Holy SHIT

21,000 gold??

That puts them at 350 platinum which is like 3,500 apiece NICE

Please def check in with Orli I miss him

I’m gonna insist they all get either matching M9 tattoos or Captain tusktooth tattooes

ORLIIIII

Oh my

Yeah a charisma bump is a good choice Nott xD

YOU ALL BETTER GET MATCHING TATTOOS

"chaos crew" lol

Imagine the stories those "new faces" have heard of the M9 from the older crew

1312 gold not bad!

Fuck y’all I love Orli! I missed him. I hope Fjord retires and goes back to sailing with Orli and the crew someday.

F: "Can I ask, how painful is this... procedure?"

O: "oh-ho-ho! Quite."

Oh lord

B: "Is that infected? Is that infected?!"

O: "No, he’s just a.....................Pansy."

Girls day!

Ohhh I like that idea Nott! Can’t wait to see the new art of that.

I like the start of the idea but the "like the Traveler’s hugging me" is slightly creepy to me. Idk.

BeauJester shippers just got a gift xD

Oh... Molly’s all seeing eye tattoo. My heart. Taliesin looks really touched.

Omg a nat1

Ouch fuck Matt you didn’t have to describe that

Matt’s like "here’s your pretty tattoo Nott, here’s your very lovely tattoo Jester, here’s your TOTALLY BOMBASS tattoo that goes all the way up the BACK OF YOUR SKULL Beau"

like I’m not saying Matt plays favorites but his wife’s character definitely got the coolest tattoo

Boy talk over fish and chips heck yeah

Mmm gonna get some deep talk from Caleb?

Caleb expressing that he feels like maybe they’ve been brought together for a purpose <3

Cad telling him he’s believed Caleb was meant for something important since the beginning

Caleb the green bean farmer

"The god’s plant us, plant their will and their desire, and we move towards the fruit we’re meant for bear for them." Aw that’s... sweet, Cad.

Fjord being like "idk man I’m still figuring it out" what a mood

Caleb admitting he feels like he should run away

"I have started to forget what it was like not being with you people. And we are missing one, I am stuck on the fact that we are still missing one."

I wish I was fast enough to transcribe word for word this conversation because it’s excellent

I like Fjord’s question of "when you know, do you run away or do the right thing knowing it could kill you"

C: "You two are alright."

Cad: "We’re getting better."

F: "So are you, you know, you should give yourself credit."

C: "Mm..."

Cad: "I know... just think about it."

(Wow my old Widofjord feelings just came back with a vengeance.)

Cad adding in his own encouraging words about how Caleb is growing and becoming better made me happy too

C: "I hate tattoos."

Nott in the distance: AHHHH

C: "they’re just not for me."

Cad: "they’re frowned upon in my family."

And then they go see the girls

"We brought fish and chips—what they fuck"

All the Jester ships are eating well tonight

I’m so glad Jester finally got her cool tattoo

Y’all don’t want to see mom and Yeza and Luc?

lol Jester "I didn’t tell my mom about the tattoo"

"I’ve seen parents find out their kids had tattoos literally at the funeral"

I literally could not tell if that was Cad or Taliesin sharing

You guys didn’t even say bye to Orli! YOU MONSTERS

Boy that talks blurb with Brian talk about Caleb is GOOD SHIT MAN

No Brian don’t stop please go on and on about Caleb

lol Matt getting himself in the face with the paper

I knew Dairon was the one who got them out of trouble <3

EXPOSITOR OUTFIT AYYYY

just got new official art and now Beau gets a new outfit and the girls get tattoos xD

B: "I apologize"

M9: "wwwwwoooooaaaaahhh"

And library access again yay!

HEYYYY DAIRON

Beau gets to be a role model now lol

Oh yikes... selling out the Kryn to the King... don’t like that

Vence... NewTHEYLESS??

I don’t like that

Everyone: *excited freaking about Beau’s expositor room*

Cad, a good 10 seconds behind: "You had a monk bunk."

Dairon admitting she realized her prejudices against the Kryn were wrong. You know what that is? Growth.

They’re all so proud of Expositor Beau

Caleb trying to do "normal" accents is amazing lol

I don’t want him to be split from the group but I definitely understand his concern

Scary world ending lore oh boy

Oh god I forgot about the gentleman being here...

YES NO DO NOT GO ALONE that’s a dumb idea honey Jester please

N about J: "well she convides in everybody. Just says whatever she wants to say all the time."

This whole Beau and Nott conversation is amazing xD

Fjord and Jester: talking

Beau and Nott: talking

Caduceus walking along and enjoying the group communicating and sharing their feelings

Is he an earth genasi?

That’s the second time another wizard has called Yussah a fool, poor guy

I like how Ormid’s like "who the fuck are these people" but he also trusts Yussah enough to listen to them that’s nice

Hmmm I don’t like that’s awfully suspicious

WHISPERSSSSS

He keeps coming back to the beacon and I don’t like it

So like.. what if he is in on the whole thing and is trying to steer them away from looking deeper into the beacon?

Jester honey why you go and name drop Trent?? Like fuck.

Also interesting that both the King and his council have been more aggressive and pro-war lately, and the Bright Queen is also bent on the conflict in a way that I’ve personally felt doesn’t seem to quite mesh with her character, it definitely lends towards the idea that they’re being manipulated

Ormid’s a bit of a dick, although I guess I can understand, they’re not explaining themselves super well

Hng idk how I feel about Ormid and I’m not sure that I like that he now knows Dairon is working to get an audience with the king

But then again I’m bad about telling which NPCs are trustworthy and which aren’t.

Ormid’s face when they mentioned the cat OH MY GOD

okay fine god now I have to trust him

"I know we are talking about very important things but" I’m dying

Y’all fixing to get a symbol of the Cerberus Assembly damn

I don’t necessarily LIKE Ormid not entirely trust him but he’s already

Insight check on Sprinkles to see if he wants to go back with Jester aw

lol getting pet advice from him maybe I like him a little bit

PUMAT SOOOOL

it’s been so long!

PUMAAAAT SOL

Guys I have missed Pumat so much he just brings me so much joy

Fetch quest for Pumat DO IT PLZ

Oh

Wait

Basilisk oil that’s maybe not a great idea

GO SAILING TO THE ISLANDS

They gotta go to islands for Traveler Con right is that close?

"Let me get it from CritRole stats" lol

Oh thank god health potions

Armor boost oil is neat (plus 1 to AC isn’t bad) but ouch it’s pricy

I love that they CANNOT keep money they get it and then they spend it. It’s #relatable

Uh.... what’s happening to my boy?!

Caduceus?!

MATT WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY BOY??

45 pats slashing??

WHAT IS HAPPENING

CADUCEUS

oh NO

fuck no

Is there a rift near?!

WHAT THE FUCK

The Inevitable End?

WHAT IS HAPPENING?

Evil assassin person??

45 points of damage fuck

This is bad

Sam: “WE’RE SHOPPING MATT” MOOD

23 doesn’t hit?!

Oh they’re in trouble

God DAMN I’m freaked out omg

Does he have The Invulnerable Vangrent as a map??

God what a cliffhanger

[nochiquinn]

undeadwood episode 2: undead nightmare

okay, kiddo got sick halfway through critrole so I gotta finish THAT later

let's see if I can get through this or if I'm gonna have to watch it on my phone, too

NOPE phone twitch it is

snake-like snake pit

matt's magic hair

this doesn't sound rife with possible disaster

"did you distract a man in the middle of a gunfight?" "....shut up."

arabella and fogg disappear from existence

it's the filth

minis!!

ZAMBIES

marisha: give me thE MAGIC

that's just daylight. you're just casting daylight.

YE

they hung out with taliesin before this. residual eldritch energy.

man I just watched an LP of Erica, I don't need more ladies with nosebleeds

"pourin for JAYZUS" anjali I love you

FIREBALL

"please work please work pleASE WORK" - fogg, probably

depth perception is a bitch

FRY SQUINT AT REVEREND

clayton why are you so bad at everything you're supposed to be good at

when you lie really good on your resume and get the job

red dead redemption undead douchebag

"if he kills the sexy sheriff I'm gonna be so upset"

GOD DAMN MY SUBURBAN PARENTS

Homer Into The Hedge

GET THEE AWAY FROM ME SATANNNNNN

"I'm ready, lord" don't call brian that, it'll go to his head

"I'm so sorry. ...not really." ivan

matt take your glove off

DEGLOVE TO ROLL

brian's hair is escaping

"like ernest goes to camp" THAT'S a reference

POP-POP

I never got magic Jesus powers

there are three kinds of people

them were zambies

undead witch sister

"separately" HMM

(I will not roll this into a mccree/symmetra ship)

werewolf husband

marisha

...where's the head. I feel like the head shouldn't wait until morning

clayton be nice

do not keep the damn head in your room overnight

roll for awake

does. does fogg not sleep.

reverend you have satan powers

someone's gonna get shot knocking on doors

matt's suppressed laugh

hHHhusbAnd

they did the closeups just for travis' face

I don't know if I don't trust him or if Arabella is using him as an excuse to be in deadwood and he's just weird (maybe about his wife's death?)

brian: you cannot evade the question

do not eat breakfast with the head

kermit?

secret's in the sauce

honestly this voice is amazing

sashay away

that is an incredibly overwrought sentence matt

"hey fogg. shut up."

"for the CHURCH"

"you wouldn't be the first shepherd to fuck a sheep" briAN

"a RUSE"

she's a vampire

kick it open

what does he knoooow

"clayton stop being dramatic"

"alchemy" 👀

what happened to the sister

(what was the sister's NAME)

miriam is just so good at moving in and out of these spaces

oh, miriam's a dealer

tr avis

is joanie dead

oh good, just high as fuck

khary started this joke and he's gonna carry it all the way down the field

"vigor check" matt

music wyd

ha, "using him to be in deadwood"

THAT WAS NOT A GOOD THING ARABELLA

necromancer??

khary stop dying

"I have faith. I have no assurance."

clayton stop that

"fuck you guys"

that was the absolute best way of phrasing that

"new pants who dis"

anyone seen The Mist

"there you are" whomst

u ok brian

rip the reverend

arabella

"the raptureeee"

THIS ISN'T HORRIFICALLY CREEPY

travis stop TOUCHING THINGS

don't like it

"I don't like this game right now"

reverend: I am having a BAD DAY

Ringleader of the Dead is a pretty boss title lbr

matt suspicious squinting at travis

lore drop LORE DROP

magic runs on pain

anti-fog field

he has Actual Faith and it's weird satan magic

D.C.

OH he was - yeah what khary said

HEY DOC FOUND YOUR HAT

travis whatcha lookin at

ivan's gm voice makes me instinctively nervous

"is there anything else you'd like to know" "FUCK YES THERE IS"

bar is whispers!

annabelle is a different show

yeahhhh fog science

frankly she's lucky they didn't burn her in that case

props!

oh god for a split second I thought the wood thump was from inside the coffin

WELP fuck

[arodrwho]

critrole 2.71 lb

it is DAIRON TIMES i’m so excited

i love dairon

“i’m not upset i’m just confused i know for me the two look very similar” autistic dairon? autistic dairon

“are you gonna get mad at me? are you gonna get mad at me?” give beau. 1 hug (doesn’t have to be dairon specifically just somebody)

“snatches one of the snack out of your hand” i love dairon so much

“i think that should be your skillset. it does not belong in mine” lmao

“even my own prejudices have come into question” :D!

“persuasion...? ...eight.” oof. m’sorry beau

the assembly and the crown talk about the beacon’s properties? ah, and the beacons are moved around, okay, cool

experimental weaponry? in hupperdook? is that our tinkerer friend at work

o shit war skyships

yeah did u mention the blond scry guy? welp now u have

“mollymauk” :((((((

that’s so sad :(((

taliesin’s FACE

“i just always keep a little in there just in case” i love nott

“did you kidnap somebody in put them in the--” oh my god caduceus

“hhh’oh thank god my friends like each other. h’ohhhhh fuck”

“this is precisely the sort of positive attitude i’ve been saying everyone should be having” incredible. i love u caduceus

problem 1: my stomach hurts problem 2: critrole is very funny tonight problem 3: ow.

“he’s pretty hot, so” “hmph” mmmmm dairon does not like! men! because i said so

hey, again,,

ow.

“i’m nervous splitting the group up” a) when cad’s famly split up to search for temples none of them came back, & b) on a meta level the last time they split the party like this taliesin’s character died

so

“similar accounts happening in the empire as well” ahahahaha NICE

“kryn demonologists” mmmmmm but then why would there be rifts in xhorhas as well,,

sounds like the empire sources might be biased maybe possibly for sure

the internet is Balls

marion!!! hello it is nice to SEE YOU

i can’t stop handflapping this is so !!! good!!! adorable!!!!!

performance troupe???? troupe???????? carnivAL? PERHAPS?

marisha’s FACE

“i’ll wear it for jester” incredible

“walk over to caleb, kinda grab him” :D! i’m ready for pain!

“why would you come back with us?” “i don’t know. i don’t have any idea. i do. i do have an idea. the idea is that i have four hours left before i pop out of this existence and go back to being a goblin” :(

“i don’t know if i can leave them right now. i haven’t been together with them in years, and it’s everything that i want and i’ve got it right now and they’re happy and they’re safe and it’s everything i want, but it’s not real, right?” :((((

“until he’s 25 and then i’ll be dead” D: D: D:

“i wouldn’t leave your side for anything, but--i mean i love you” i am dying & living at the same time

mostly dying

“i’ve also seen you be ruthless when you need to be” D: D: D: D: D: D:

“that you would be strong enough to kill me with fire and change my body like they did. i think you could do it, you’re very powerful” D: D: D: why did you feel the need to specify with fire, nott. why

“the fact of the matter is i owe you everything. i would not be here, i would be dead in a field outside of alfield without you. and many times over. yeah. anything is possible”

“not now, but i am on the edges of such things” “you could kill me and bring me back” “you want to be you” “yes” “we can find a way to make you you. but nothing comes without risk or hard work. and i cannot do it tomorrow. and i need...books” “alright” “but if you’re asking me if i will. of course i will” “and that’s a spell you’ve heard of or know is possible?” lfksghfdg he rolled bad

“i don’t want to burn you, but if we follow the road long enough, i think i could return you” gosh

“i have no doubt that you can do anything, but how long do you think that road is? is it something that is hypothetical or real?” “veth i do not know” :( he called her veth

“all i can give you is my...loyalty. i have great loyalty for you” “all right” “and i would hate to see you go, but that’s selfish” mmmmmmmheck

also that’s an autism hard to say ily

“i promise to do all i can, if you want me to” “thank you” :((((

jester thinks of leaving sometimes ? that’s. sad i’m sad

“it matches the dress beau’s wearing” that’s so funn y

“you should wear the bow” caduceus is enjoying himself way too much

i love liam’s jester voice

& i love his fjord voice

“i fold up the letter and i take out the other book and i slide it in the other book” whaaAAAAAAT??

"a very difficult eater" autistic jester........

talk! to! yeza!

i’m. crying a little

god but for real though like. i wanted nott to have the space to make the decision herself, because this was a decision she needed to make herself, but god if i don’t feel that

her needing him to tell her to go. needing the permission

he’s so understanding....... i love him.....

“and i’m gonna give him my mask” : O!!!!!!!!!!

“i don’t wanna use this anymore” : O !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“be good. be kind. be safe” i’m. eMOTIONS

that’s the exact thing my mom says

do all mom just say that

“be good be kind be safe watch out for cars and strangers” is that just Every Mom’s Thing

“we haven’t spoken much, i’m like your mother’s assistant” :DDDDD

i just. i love caleb????????

i repeat i love caleb

he thinks he’s such a bastard but he’s so kind??

“sleight of hand slip one of the sex potions into his pocket” gosh

fjor d?????????

o he’s ok

oh we’re just telling essik dairon’s real name huh

GO TIME

oof ouch that--oh okay they’re fine that’s not too bad

they made it!!

end.....

[trippol-threat]

CritRole RsWeek day 1 -> Caleb x Molly (Mollymaukkk)

~I do not have a title for this, and it’s only part of what I’ve written because it kinda got away from me and I’ve still got so much left to do of it. 

Words->1665        Rating -> General Audiences      Read on AO3

Caleb was, like normal, silently sat on the end of the Mighty Nein's table for the night, staring down at his pint of ale like it was the most interesting thing in the world. He did, in fact, have a much more interesting book upstairs in his room that Nott had “totally-definitely-not stolen” from The Archive of the Cobalt Soul because she saw him “looking at it longingly” and he “deserves anything and everything” he wants. It was just Nott had wanted him to be sociable and had looked at him with her eyes in the way she knew he couldn't resist (it reminded him of the way Frumpkin looked at him sometimes when he wanted some of Caleb's food), so he was there. 

“-isn't that right, Caleb?” 

Caleb startled at the sound of his name, and looked up to the rest of the group. He tried to remember the conversation, but it seemed he had been so preoccupied with his thoughts that he couldn't recall anything.

“I said he wasn't listening! Hand it over Jester.” Beauregard exclaimed after a few moments of Caleb not answering. Jester reluctantly handed over two silver pieces.

“Hey, that's not fair! You could've told Caleb to react like that!”

Both Caleb and Beauregard looked at Jester incredulously “Really? Come on, Caleb's the last one I'd set something like that up with. He can't lie for shit and besides, we all know we hate each other's guts.”

Caleb's protestation of his lying skills died when Jester's expression turned defeated and just shrugged his shoulders. “Beauregard is correct. She hates me because, according to her, I should just be able to forget about my past,-” Caleb's voice turned hard “-and I hate her because I can't believe anyone would be so unaccepting of my coping methods when hers are to punch everything she sees.

Everyone except Beauregard and Mollymauk looked at Caleb with astonishment at his outburst. Beauregard let out a humourless laugh. “Well, he's not wrong. Here's to unhealthy coping mechanisms, eh Widogast?” She raised her tankard. 

Caleb just glared back then snapped his head to Mollymauk who was smirking next to him. “What's so funny, Mollymauk? Care to share to the group?” 

“Oh, it's nothing.” The whole group's gaze shifted to him, none of the believing. “Oh, alright. Look, I'm just glad that our little Wizard here actually has a backbone. It's nice to see he's not-” Mollymauk slammed his mouth shut when he saw Nott bare her teeth.

“Anyway, am I the only one who is wondering what has Caleb so absent?” Fjord, ever the guardian, interjected before  tensions could run too high and a fight could begin.

“Yeah Caleb! Tell us. Were you thinking about a girllllllll?” Jester's voice rang out straight after Fjord, her annoyance at losing the bet apparently dissipating just as fast as it had appeared.

Caleb spluttered on the mouth of ale he'd just taken.

“Um, Jester? I don't think girls are Caleb's, um, area of expertise” Fjord at least had the decency to lower his voice, but all the group still heard him.

“Is that true Caleb? Do you like guys? Oh! I know so many great guys! I could set you up. It'll be great. Especially as Beau apparently isn't into guys.” She looks accusingly at the monk. “You might like some of the guys I was going to set up with her!”

“No, umm-” Jester's face fell. Caleb felt Mollymauk go strangely still against his side, but had no idea why “-I... I mean... Well, yes, technically-” he paused as the strange stillness next to him became sudden rigidity, and a memory, long-buried, stirred “-but no, that's not what I was thinking about. I was just thinking about a book of Arcane I have upstairs. Mollymauk-” the body next to him relaxed once again “-doesn't matter.”

Well used to Caleb's strangeness, the rest of their group took no notice of Caleb's half sentence, and instead went back to the topic at hand.

“I wonder what sort of book could have distracted Caleb so much.” Beauregard began the conversation once again, with an accompanying eye-roll from Caleb.

“Hm, you said Arcane, right Caleb? Could be a new spell or something he got from that library.” 

“Yeah, except you can't take scrolls away from the archive, Jester.”

“Something he bought from Pumat's then?” Beauregard responded. “You went to Pumat's with him after all, didn't you Fjord?”

“I mean, yeah, but he didn't get anything except more fancy paper and ink.”

Already knowing what the book was, Caleb and Nott were conversing silently in the way they learnt in the prison where they met. They startled when Mollymauk suddenly spoke up.

“I think you're all ignoring the obvious.” The trio at the end looked at Mollymauk expectantly. “Caleb was obviously thinking about pending 'edubation'.”

A chorus of giggle broke out throughout the group, Jester's being the loudest, but even with hers, Caleb couldn't miss Nott's giggles. He shook his head and, with a smile, drank the rest of his ale in one go. “I do think that is my cue to leave. That's enough socialising for me for one night.” He stood and kissed Nott's head. “Goodnight, all.”

He left the table and made his way to the corridor that lead to their rooms, shaking his head when the barely-stifled giggles became full laughs, and smirked when he heard Nott's voice ring out loud enough to be heard at his door.

“It was a book about transformation magic! I got him it!” as she tumbled into another round of intoxicated giggles. 

“They are going to be so hung over in the morning.” Caleb said to himself as he let himself into his room, sat on his bed and opened the aforementioned book.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Caleb's not completely sure what time it was when a tentative knock at his door pulled him from his book. He could have probably worked it out easily enough, but he felt content with the knowledge that enough time had passed for the sun to set properly and for the moon to rise high in the night sky.

“Come in.” Although Caleb was unsure as to who would have wanted to talk to him at that time of night, he is unconcerned that it was an intruder. No one could get past Beauregard and Jester with ill intentions, even when they were drunk.

He was, however, slightly surprised that it was purple horns that peaked through the crack in the door. “Hi. Just wanted to tell you that Nott is having a sleepover with the girls again, and that she says you're not to worry.”

“I thought it would be one of you or Fjord. Nott tends not to knock when she enters our room.” Caleb offered Mollymauk a tentative smile, but when the Tiefling didn't leave straight away, Caleb sighed. “Anything else I could help you with?”

“Usually it's Fjord that checks on you and passes messages along but he's passed out after a drinking game with Beau, that he lost, by the way, and he tends to snore when he's drunk and-”

“Mollymauk, come in. Sit.” Caleb paused until Mollymauk was sat on Nott's bed, facing himself. Mollymauk stayed silent, seemingly aware Caleb had more to say. “Mollymauk, would you like to sleep in here tonight?”

“Would that be alright? I mean, I'm fine to back to my room if it'll bother you. I'll be asleep so fast, Fjord wont even bother me-”

“It is fine. There is going to be an empty bed tonight anyway, what does it matter what room it is in? Ja?”

“I suppose so.”

Caleb attempted to continue reading his book, but felt himself hyper-aware that Mollymauk had not moved or made any attempts to get into bed. He sighed again and closed his book with more force than was strictly necessary. “Is there something else you wished to say, Mollymauk?”

Mollymauk swallowed and looked up to see Caleb looking at him with a mixture of concern and exasperation. Mollymauk smirked, despite his awkwardness at the impending conversation. That particular mixture of facial expressions was both a Caleb signature, and somehow only conveyable by the wizard.

“I just wanted to check I didn't cross any lines earlier with my comment. You left pretty sharpish afterwards and I hoped I didn't upset you at all.”

Caleb let out a breathy laugh, seemingly at Mollymauk's discomfort and sudden awkwardness. “No, Mollymauk. You did not upset me. I left only because I wished to read this -” He gestured to the book, now laying on the bed bedside him “- and because your comment gave me an opportunity to do so. Do not feel concerned that you have upset me. I actually was also amused by the implication. Although I must admit I will not mourn the day 'edubation' is forgotten about.” Caleb smiled slightly at Mollymauk, meeting his gaze despite the discomfort he found himself in. For some reason, Caleb could always put aside his discomfort when Mollymauk was involved. Only Nott held the same feelings of safety, and that had taken months of working together. Not the few weeks he had been with Mollymauk.

Mollymauk smiled fully at Caleb. Not his usual showman's smile, but a genuine smile, and the laughter returned to his voice when he spoke again. “I am glad of that, although I regret to tell you that I don't think anyone is going to forget 'edubation' for a long time, my dear.”

Caleb groaned excessively and through himself onto his pillow face down. He heard Mollymauk's chuckle, but did not move. Only when he heard Mollymauk readying himself for sleep did he turn over, move his book back into his cloak and get under the covers himself.

“Goodnight Mollymauk. Sleep well.”

“Goodnight Mister Caleb.”

[luxheroica]

The Next Time Round [CritRole Exalted AU]

So @blackestglass asked me for a Perc’ahlia Reincarnated Soulmates AU, and I’m saving the prompt for a write-later type of circumstance, but I decided to take the opportunity to write the very specific AU that I’m probably the only person interested in based on one of my very favorite Tabletop RPGs. So, for all five people who are interested, have a Critical Role Exalted AU. (You probably don’t need knowledge of Exalted to know what the hell is going on, but it might help.)

[Also on AO3]

[More about the AU]

-

The Nexus jail cell was a filthy wreck. Vex’s sense of smell revolted at the stench of standing water, mildew and human waste. She had taken point for their motley band which for this venture did not include the two Solars because they were both-- rather conspicuous in their own way. Beside her Trinket groaned and Vex winced, wondering how much worse her bear must experience these smells. Her boot squelched in something unrecognizable. Vex made a face, and prayed that she had not just stepped in shit. These boots were new-ish.

“Brother,” Vex said, sickeningly sweet. “The Clasp is really starting to become a pain in the behind.”

The Clasp was one of the many gangs of thieves that had the run of Nexus, a thieves paradise. Vax had been one of them once, right after the both of them had Exalted, which made dealing with them kind of a pain in the ass. They couldn’t exactly say no when a Lunar decided he was done with gangs but they could make any future dealings unpleasant.

“Do you really expect me to disagree with that?” Vax asked. Vex sighed and shook her head. “The sooner we get through this the sooner Spireling Shenn introduces us to his Guilt contacts and we can be on our way.”

“How did you get involved in the Clasp anyways?” Keyleth asked, coming up behind Vax.  

“It’s a long story,” Vax said.

Vex rolled her eyes. “Just drop it Keyleth-- he won’t even tell me. It’s something to do with how he Exalted.”

Neither Vex nor Vax had ever told one another about their Exaltations. It was maybe the only thing the twins had not shared with each other. Vex could still recall perfectly that iron cage, the feeling of being helpless, then grabbing the poacher’s knife and butchering him with it and the rush of divine power that flowed through her as she did. She’d stumbled home with a bear cub and the blessing of Luna and no way to explain either to her brother only to find that he had secrets of his own he wished to keep.

“Oh,” Keyleth said, looking doe-eyed at Vax. “Well I’m always curious about other Lunars-- I’d love to hear it.”

“Maybe later,” was all that Vax said, which was more than Vex had ever gotten out of her twin concerning his Exaltation.

Vex’ahlia’s mentor had told her and Vax that the proper term for a group of Lunars working together was a “pack”. Vex wasn’t fully sold on the idea that Keyleth and Grog behind her were pack material but they’d been in a few scrapes together and she’d started to slowly trust them. Keyleth was one of those sweetness-and-light, we all must come together to protect Gaia type of Lunars. She’d gotten very excited about all of the Lunars going on an adventure together.

Grog Strongjaw was, on the other hand, the fight everything and ask questions later type of Lunar. He had already handily dispatched the guards of this tiny prison, turning into a hulking creature that was part-man part-hippopotamus and all-destruction and tearing them apart like they were tissue paper. Vex hadn’t even had to draw her bow.  

“Hey guys,” he said, waving at a dark spot not illuminated by the dim torchlight. “I think there’s another floor down here.”

Vex walked over to investigate. There was indeed a rickety ladder leading down another level into pitch blackness. The mildew was worse down there but the scent of human excrement less so. Vex could just barely see stale water shining down at the bottom.

“Me and Vax will go down,” she decided, glancing around at the small group. “You and Keyleth search and see if you can find a desk or a satchel or-- somewhere else where they might keep papers here.”

Trinket whined, a plaintive what-about-me noise.

“Trinket can stay up here with us,” Keyleth suggested. She scratched Trinket under the chin and the bear readily accepted the affection. “Don’t you want to stick with us, Trinket?”

Trinket growled happily. Vex waved her bear on.

Trinket lumbered off after Keyleth and Grog to search the rest of the floor. Vex took a deep breath and leaped down the hole rather than trust her weight to the rotting ladder. She landed with a satisfying splash, spraying stale water everywhere.

It was pitch black down in the hole, the torchlight from up above illuminating only a tiny circle around Vex. She put two fingers to her forehead and concentrated. The area blazed, lit up by moonlight a hundred times stronger than the brightest full moon emanating from Vex’s forehead. It lit up another long bank of cells.

With the light came an itch at the back of Vex’s feet. Keep walking, it said, the physical need to keep moving forward almost overpowering. Just a little further.

Vex, seeing no reason to ignore this inner urge and needing to give Vax room for the jump down, continued further into the prison. She did not run forwards as her feet were telling her. Vex had spent her time cultivating good sense and she wasn’t about to go running into the unknown.

“What do you see down there?” Vax’s voice echoed from up above. “Do you see any papers?”

“No papers!” Vex called back. “Come join me down here, it’s very lovely!”

“Quit pulling my leg.”

“No really, it’s like the Imperial Palace down here! Silk sheets and gold leaf and servants carrying exotic fruits on platters! The Empress would be jealous of this place.”

“Haha,” Vax said sarcastically. It was accompanied by a strangled laugh in the darkness.

Vex went perfectly still, looking for where that laugh came from. Water drip-drip-dripped in the long silence. “Is someone there?” she called loudly.

“You’re looking for paperwork, aren’t you?” a voice said at last out of the darkness. Male, cultured, with maybe a hint of a Northern accent? “I’ll help you find it if you let me out of here.”

Vex crept forward, one tiny footstep at a time, on guard for anything. She wouldn’t put it past the Clasp to get the jump on them by making them put their guard down for a prisoner. But something-- something that she couldn’t have explained if she were asked-- said that this wasn’t the case. The light of her caste mark illuminating everything with a pale glow, Vex rounded the corner and peered into the jail cell.

The man inside was filthy, covered top to toe in dirt, so that Vex couldn’t even see what color his coat was. His shock of white hair was plastered to his forehead by a steady drip of water from above, and he’d retreated to the only dry patch of floor. Vex’s first thought was pity. She’d seen plenty of wretchedness in this wretched city, but he just looked so miserable.

The man in the cell looked up and his blue eyes met Vex’s.

Vex just stared. She was rooted to the spot, could not move if she tried. Something deep in her soul shifted, turned, came right.

She found herself lost in memory she’d never had. A workshop full of ancient tools she had no names for but which were intimately familiar, leaning over an oak workbench that smelled of soot and chemicals. The remembered smell was so strong it overpowered the stagnant water smell of the cell. The man in the workshop wore a different face but he was the same man.

A hand on her shoulder jolted Vex out of-- whatever that was.

“Vex?” Vax asked, concerned. “Are you alright?”

Vex blinked and she was fine and whatever strangeness that had come over her looking at the man in the cell was gone. “Yes, fine,” she said. “Can you get this lock? He says he knows where the papers we’re looking for are.”

The man in the cell nodded. “Yes,” he said, some bit of that urbane charm disturbed. Vex wondered if he’d experienced just the same strangeness she had. “I can show you to where they’re kept if you’d open the cell. I’d like to get out, if I can.”

Vax frowned, sizing up the stranger. Vex also took another long look at him, wondering just what about him had triggered such a strong reaction. Whatever it was had ebbed.

“Look, I hope you don’t mind if we have you walk in front of us,” Vax said darkly. “We’re not very trusting folk lately.”

The man in the cell nodded. “I understand,” he said. “You’re Exalts, aren’t you? That’s not a fight I want to pick-- not that I was thinking of it in the first place, mind you.”

Vex raised an eyebrow, surprised that he’d used the proper term instead of the more popular “anathema”. He didn’t recoil from the brand burning on Vex’s forehead either, instead seeming quite comfortable with the concept. Most people in Nexus would work with Anathema if the price was right, but there was usually a visual discomfort.

“That’s right,” Vax said. “So don’t try anything.”

Vex watched as her brother pulled out his lockpicks. The white haired man in the cell remained towards the back wall, but he leaned unconsciously towards the door, towards freedom. At last the iron door swung open with a creak.

The white haired man exited the cell while Vex and Vax waited. He started to lead the way briskly down the hall, towards the end of the row of cells. Vex exchanged a look with Vax and then followed closely behind.

“Thank you for getting me out of there,” the white-haired man said. “It’s not a place I would have chosen to stay, if I’d had any choice in the matter.”

“I doubt it’s a place anyone would choose to stay,” Vex said. “No offense but you look like you need a bath-- badly.”

The white-haired man chuckled. Once again it tugged something in Vex. “The warden kept his papers through here,” he said. “And I’ll be able to retrieve my weapons as well.”

“Weapons?” Vex asked, suspicious.

“If you broke in here, there’s probably more guards on the way,” the white-haired man said. He carefully opened the door to what appeared to be an office, furnished with several moldering bookshelves. “You might be a couple of very powerful Exalts, but I’d rather not trust my fate just to your skill.”

Vex and Vax exchanged another look, Vax silently asking if Vex trusted this stranger and Vex shrugging as if to say, ‘I’m not sure but I think between us we could take him.’

“You don’t call us anathema,” Vex said, peering at the man as he started going through the desk drawers. He opened a drawer and drew out a shortsword and a curved rod with a barrel at the end of some construction Vex had never seen. “Why not?”

The white-haired man made a face that Vex couldn’t quite decipher. “Let’s just say I have some experience with the subject, and I don’t subscribe to Immaculate teachings.” He secured the strange device in his coat and stepped back from the desk. “Whatever papers you’re looking for should be in there.”

Vax started going through the desk while Vex watched their unexpected ally closely.

“You have some experience with the subject?” Vex repeated the white-haired man’s phrasing, cocking her eyebrow at him. “What’s that?”

“A very long story,” the man said. “One I’d be all too happy to tell once we get out of here, and have a bit more time.”

Vex frowned, wondering if she should trust that. But he was right, they were working on a bit of a time crunch. “Well then, can we at least know your name?”

The white-haired man held out his hand to shake. “Percival Fredrickstein von Mussel Klossowski de Rolo III,” he said.

Vex reached out and shook the hand of Percival Fredrickstein von Mussel Klossowski de Rolo III. When her hand touched his, a tangible shock ran up her arm. From the surprised look in Percival’s eyes, he felt it too.

“Seems like nothing about you is short, Percy,” Vex said. That earned a quick smile from him, and Vex found herself smiling back, though she wasn’t entirely sure why. “I’m Vex and that’s my brother Vax, and we’ve got two more upstairs.”

“Excellent,” Percy said. “Then let’s get out of here.”

[sagamemes]

critrole sentences starters  ---  shadow of the crystal palace.   under the cut, you can find a total of 137 lines of dialogue from critical role’s call of cthulhu one-shot. as this contains both in and out of character sentences, there are options for modern and old timey or more eloquent muses alike. themes of the paranormal, heists, secret missions, light and darkness are sprinkled all around this sentence meme, but a good chunk is also usable by just about any muse. oh, and a lot of cat talk. as always, feel free to alter to fit your muse!

❝  good luck, may light and knowledge prevail.  ❞

❝  consider your words heeded, sir.  ❞

❝  hopefully, you can carry it.  ❞

❝  i didn't have time to have it actually translated. if i recall, that's a review of the latest sailor moon musical.  ❞

❝  she just wished me goodbye a minute ago in a text, i don't know what it means.  ❞

❝  i want you in constant communication with us if you feel anything untoward, anything out of the ordinary at all.  ❞

❝  we're not alone.  ❞

❝  i imagine no one really wants to stay to hear the end of this speech.  ❞

❝  could you try to enjoy this a little less?  ❞

❝  are you?  /are/ you getting it out of your system?  or are you just getting started?  ❞

❝  i'm more like a... tuning fork.  ❞

❝  there are definite... bonuses to this little adventure.  ❞

❝  what am i gonna do to you?  ❞

❝  you're a good scientist who follows data.  ❞

❝  most things that die in here, they never really leave.  ❞

❝  perhaps we should try to get the thing that the rich guy wants?  ❞

❝  i think we're doing more than just delivery.  ❞

❝  i am a little worried about us getting discovered sneaking about here, though.  ❞

❝  man was not meant to live within glass.  ❞

❝  i'd say it's been fun but i'd be lying.  ❞

❝  i suppose that's just a loss on the champagne then, isn't it?  ❞

❝  poor [name]. i picked you especially for this.  ❞

❝  we may be able to walks around unencumbered tonight.  ❞

❝  my pants are exciting, just in the wrong way.  ❞

❝  is there anything you /can/ do?  fight?  run?  be prey?  ❞

❝  you like to lead---after you.  ❞

❝  it happens, you know. sometimes you shatter... artefacts.  ❞

❝  i am so delighted that you are stuck here trying to find a lightswitch.  ❞

❝  my kanji is at about second level.  ❞

❝  bless your ignorance, child.  ❞

❝  i do love a good poker.  ❞

❝  have you ever tried to pull the sword, the excalibur sword, from the stone at disneyland?  it's got just enough give to irritate a child for hours. i say---definitely not from /experience/.  ❞

❝  i am here to make sure we're safe from threats on the other side.  ❞

❝  it is for people such as ourselves to know. and then we protect the general public.  ❞

❝  jesus, why am i following you people?  ❞

❝  you can make the story a little less about him and a little more about you.  ❞

❝  he's been very good to me.  ❞

❝  i'm here to make sure this car stays on the rails, as it were. and to assist, of course.  ❞

❝  i was concerned when i first met you.  ❞

❝  is it pictures of all of our possessed bodies?  ❞

❝  grant me my wish, make me big.  ❞

❝  we're just gonna go to the cat room and we're just gonna hang out there for the whole time.  ❞

❝  i believe it's better for the general public to believe your [writings/stories/tales] are fiction.  ❞

❝  i'm beginning to think i'm the only one with any sense here.  ❞

❝  i may be requesting your services again in the future.  ❞

❝  it's just a little trinket from my country.  ❞

❝  you need to know when to cut and run!  look, i've got debt across europe but it's not worth dying over!  ❞

❝  it's like a script you keep reciting from.  ❞

❝  they wish to talk, in their own way.  ❞

❝  care to place a wager?  i'm feeling very confident.  ❞

❝  nobody knows the value of a good redshirt anymore.  ❞

❝  oh, fuck a duck, where are we going?!  ❞

❝  i'm so confident, i will put 10% of my earnings from this job on the line.  ❞

❝  i had my suspicions, you fraud.  ❞

❝  what did you do to the light?!  ❞

❝  mirrors are liars. they only show us what we expect to see.  ❞

❝  i have some contingencies if things go wrong and will be waiting for your signal.  ❞

❝  i mean, if you're looking at it from the right angle, you're just taking it back.  ❞

❝  i fucking love cats, let's go.  ❞

❝  did you learn /that/ at the [institute/school/etc]?  ❞

❝  nothing to worry about, just go about your business!  ❞

❝  [you're/he's] a shower away from pretty again.  ❞

❝  they've never hurt me.  ❞

❝  i've had a string of bad luck for a while.  ❞

❝  we've been speaking to the other side for thousands of years. and our understanding evolves and changes with the passing of the years, but the core remains the same.  ❞

❝  there's so much sexual tensioooon...  ❞

❝  no one ever goes to a museum and reads the labels, it's really frustrating.  ❞

❝  i would ask you to leave and never speak of this again.  ❞

❝  oh, you fucking brilliant bastard.  ❞

❝  you're not really a cat person, are you, [name]?  ❞

❝  i know how that sounds, i know what i saw.  ❞

❝  i got it the last time i went to russia.  ❞

❝  mommy and daddy don't need to know about the necklace, though.  ❞

❝  and i do hope we meet again sometime, [name], before the next time world needs saving.  ❞

❝  wouldn't you agree that there are dark corners in this world, easier to find than the light?  ❞

❝  well, /i/ don't like to toot my own horn, but if [name] will, i can't forbid him.  ❞

❝  we're gonna take a moment to collect ourselves and have a stiff drink of something.  ❞

❝  god, you look like a ghost, [name].  ❞

❝  i may be the one non-believer in the group.  ❞

❝  it was certainly someone who looked like her. could've been anybody.  ❞

❝  i was so looking forward to murdering the rest of you.  ❞

❝  i didn't go to medical school, /period/. ph., not m.d.  ❞

❝  just don't make too much trouble, alright?  ❞

❝  you've been hand-picked for your skills.  ❞

❝  i've actually read it as well. i think you sell yourself short.  ❞

❝  your pants are more exciting than mine right now.  ❞

❝  i feel like i should be haunting a house right now.  ❞

❝  he was a problematic mess even by the standards of his time.  ❞

❝  oh, you know, just little things you learn at finishing school.  ❞

❝  you're not a useful doctor, are you?  ❞

❝  honestly, i feel quite ignorant that i didn't put it together myself.  ❞

❝  i'm an archivist, not an adventurer.  ❞

❝  just repress!  that!  shit!  ❞

❝  oh, no, i'm just so enamoured. we very rarely have the ability to socialise with such esteemed guests.  ❞

❝  we might've fucking killed ourselves.  ❞

❝  i think i'll have a nightlight for the rest of my life now.  ❞

❝  i love a good potato clock though, i almost bought one.  ❞

❝  my mum said i'm the most handsome boy is school.  ❞

❝  [chuckling] that's a little mythology joke for you!  ❞

❝  there's minimal security as long as you don't go into the upper floors.  ❞

❝  what have they done to you?  have they hurt you?  ❞

❝  this is getting a bit rich for my taste. [insititute/workplace] does not pay /quite/ that well.  ❞

❝  i believe you are more spot-on than perhaps you even realise.  ❞

❝  we will come up with a good excuse for your back. there's shattered glass in there.  ❞

❝  it's a bit... dizzying in here. does anyone else feel that?  ❞

❝  you do not know what this has cost me.  ❞

❝  he stole it. so i punched him in the face.  ❞

❝  i'm a book doctor, not a blood doctor.  ❞

❝  the idea of walking home in a mist without another living human being there nearly gave me a heart attack.  ❞

❝  i'd like to thank you for your discretion.  ❞

❝  it's a little less of the killing of the dragons and a little bit more of running for your bloody life.  ❞

❝  some of us are just so sharp we could cut ourselves.  ❞

❝  one more pitch to run for the fucking door.  ❞

❝  he's a charlatan, isn't he?  ❞

❝  the trouble with sacrificial magic is it requires sacrifice.  ❞

❝  there's something about you they really don't like.  ❞

❝  the only way we can protect ourselves is to know what we're protecting ourselves from.  ❞

❝  it's a bit of a lark, isn't it?  that's why i agreed.  ❞

❝  i know about this. this is my design. and some /asshole/ put his name on it.  ❞

❝  never owned a cat in my life.  ❞

❝  i say this with as much honest and relative humility as i can:  do i look like the sort of person that they would tell where the champagne is hiding?  ❞

❝  he didn't go into medical school for you to call him /mister/ [name].  ❞

❝  you have an honest face.  ❞

❝  it never hurts to be prepared, and i'm a big believer in being prepared. and i'm willing to spend on it.  ❞

❝  look you were very worried about this chest;  we opened it, it's fine!  ❞

❝  we will never see each other again.  ❞

❝  we're all just reaching for the same truth and describing it in different ways, i imagine.  ❞

❝  the things i've seen you wouldn't want to wish on your worst nightmares.  ❞

❝  take a lantern, you piece of shit.  ❞

❝  he wrote some very, very nice reviews of the best gay brothels of japan when he would walk around. and a pamphlet on farting.  ❞

❝  [suggestively] well, if you're looking for a /heat source/...  ❞

❝  few things in this world are not somewhat haunted. this, i believe, is very.  ❞

❝  do you know that they invented an electrical device in japan in 1776?  ❞

❝  i would really run.  ❞

❝  i'm sorry, did you say  ' paid off the judges ' ?  ❞

❝  it burns like acid.  ❞

[arodrwho]

“critrole 2.70 lb

at long last........... it is critrole days again.......................!

wow that’s a chastising look

“i feel like i did something wrong” lmao same dude

beep beep it’s crit.role.dayyyyys

“i feel like a feeling’s a very specific reason” “....fair” that tracks don’t it

“do a caleb impression laura” “no i can’t do a german accent i suck” lmao

thank u taliesin

“i have a shortsword that i use sometimes, but it’s pretty weaksauce”

“i can hear god talking to us” i fucking love nott/sam

dagger dagger dagger ??

where we gonna go

kiln ?? ehhhh

beep beep here’s what we should say

call home office first

“i really need my cat, so i am going to take the time before bed to return frumpkin to his feline form” :(

duststorm at night

jester sounds so sad

“we tracked that guy. we followed him into a cave. a great evil was unleashed. the laughing hand. our friend was taken. west of bazzoxan.”

“what is the crypticness of your message. it seems bad news, whereas i hoped to give you good”

“why would we act like we did something wrong?” zactly

“this is the only moment honesty’s worth anything”

“we’re in bazzoxan. we’re planning to head north. we think there might be a solution there. the laughing hand is really bad. i’m really sorry”

“how soon can you return?” oh shit

“i think we go back. i wanna go north, so badly, but--” “i think if we go back she’s going to kill us instantly” “i don’t think she’s going to”

“it’s all about the narrative that we present though” true true true

“we don’t have to talk about her again” ouch

“not to be super selfish, but i do have the sneaking suspicion that if we run, she might find and kill my husband?” nott i love u

“don’t tell anyone. just saying, does that not freak anyone else out just a little bit?” mmmmmmmmmmmlil bit

“maybe these people aren’t saving, we haven’t even met them yet. maybe they’re all... assholes or something” n OT T

“half-cocked, i like that” caduceus u fuckin dweeb

“caduceus. you’re a good guy. what would a good guy do” “...i’m so tired right now” oof

“is a good guy loyal to a queen or is a good guy loyal to--” “ohh that’s a question” he’s not the dude u go to for moral questions

“sometimes it’s okay to not know what’s happening. and sometimes when you don’t know what’s happening it’s okay to submit to something with a higher perspective” hm.

“a fuckin fifth level spell, early in the morning” “strangely enough that’s exactly the incantation you need for a--” incredible

“a bit of light under her chin, a kind of reddish-orange fire light, that flickers brighter, and brighter” ohhhh dear is that obann

and a voice says my internet cut out, go fuck yourself

“very good. thank you for your patience. now, this has been one fine reunion. let’s go see if we can find the others” ohhhhh dear

:((((((((((((((

“we should talk. it’s been a bit” o shit

“what if she was bad you guys, what if she was bad the whole time” jester is going to CRY, she has never in front of people done this ever even one time and i! am! dying!

a whole lot of conversation i didn’t pay attention tooooooo

and of course the stream WOULD cut out when matt describes what’s on the doors

“there were ghosts on the pier?? ahh, haunted pier. i miss that haunted pier” incredible

beep beep the stream keeps cutting out

“thaumaturgy i’m just gonna turn, just the blackest eyes” caduceus i fuckin love you

the star-raiser. hot dang

FUCK YOU i just want to watch this STUPID EPISODE

“and sehahine” was all i caught. WHO and 

“the ruins of malaismere, within the savalierwood” hahA VERY GOOD

“it’s meant for youuu” “i don’t think it’s meant for me” “it’s maybe meant for someone eeeeelse”

“dwueth’var” oh very cool!

elves live there...? elves are in the--what is the word. grove

beau is so fucking awkward i lvoe her.

i love both of them i’m so glad

“caduceus is the only one good at being good, so that’s... his thing that he’s good at” lmao

everytime someone says cad is good at being good, or is a good person, or is not judgmental or whatever & taliesin makes A Face...it adds 3 years to my life

“caduceus is not the only one who is good at being good” “you talking about me?” “you shit on yourself a lot--yeah, i am. you shit on yourself a lot but i have seen you do good day after day” caleb i love you.

BEAU LORE

he had this conversation with nott, once. in a different way, though, he took a very different tack. the differences are very--

i’m having emotions

“the 10% is when i’m doing well, or doing poorly?” “eh, don’t read too much into it” god i love her

every time caleb and beau have a Conversation it adds 300 years to my life.

oooo, foliage, he’s gonna look for foliage, he’s a gonna try 2 connect w/the wildmother

“you’re not chill?” [scoffs] “no”

“the island of rumblecusp off the menagerie coast” oooooo

“what’s special about rumblecusp?” “i don’t know. it’s remote. very pretty. and i’ve never been”

“do you have any suggestions yourself?” he’s..asking you?? weeeeir d?

“that would be pretty crazy right, to have a bunch of people gathered in a volcano” “...make a persuasion check” “natural 20!!” oh my GOD

“i trust your judgement jester. a volcano will be interesting :)”

j eeeeeEEEEeeeez

stream cut out

“and also know you’re not the only one being watched over in your merry band. there are many voices, many eyes upon you” stream cut out AGAIN

“some very powerful eyes on her that never left” “really? good ones? powerful ones?” i didn’t catch the ansWER

o thank heck nothing happened in their sleepe

it’s tiiiiiiiiiiime

fuuuuuuuuuuuck it cut out again. this is some grade-a bullshit

it is Fear Time

“extremely pale, even by family standards” CAD LORE CAD LORE CAD LORE that’s going in the CAD LORE POST.

“many lives were saved thanks to your deed” oh NICE

strategic assassination attempts. oh DEAR. scourger?? CAPTURED A SCOURGER?????? EODWULF? ASTRID???? WHOM THE FUC K

“your eyes seem especially ravishing today. very bright” “i was going to say the same thing” “caduceus don’t you agree?” [caduceus, very thrown] “uh...sure??”

i love nott

“and execution” h’ohhhhhhboy

“a handful of assassins”

“a woman. human.” hhhhhhhhhhhhhASTRID?? astrid??????? astrid???????????

caleb? are u? okay??

hhhHHHHhhHhHHhHhHh

u are actually asking for information abt the scourger i am. mMMmMmmMm

“we will have you escorted to the dungeon of penance” hhHHHHH

“the burning lodge. the kiln” alas. but also COOL, WE GOT THE OTHER NAME!!

wait what did essik say

helloooo

essik??

my internet is being so stewpid

corod? what’d u say?? the stream cut out again what did u SAY

shiiiiiiiiiit caleb are u gonna be okay????

“did she look dope” “did she look--she always looks dope” incredible

oh no oh no oh no

i’m made of a lot of fear my dudes

hooooooooooooooo

of course the stream would cut out after “you step up, and glance--”

anyway who is this!!! is!! it!! astrid!!!

who iiiiiiis it

“are you awake?”

music shift i’m so scared. i am VERY scared

“wake up. you are in a bad place i need you to talk to me. your life’s thread is very short right now. if you want to keep it from being clipped i need you to talk to me.” he sounds. so different to usual. is it no accent bc zemnian, is that what’s different? i can’t tell. i think it’s also--what’s the word. the word. the. menacing? stern? idk it’s just rly yikes

“can you look at me?” “who asks. what do you want?” “you hear me talking to you in this language, in this place. you want any aid, or not? look at me.”

“astrid” “what did you say” “you heard me. look me in the eye.” “who are you” “i don’t have time for that. lift your face.”

“who is this who knows astrid?”

fuck and balls perception check for frumpkin. those are never good

“scars across the forearm. familiar scars, as to those that they carry”

who is this.

“do you know bred aldric ermendrud” “very well” “who was he” [rolls dice] AAAND THE INTERNET CONKS OUT AGAIN, STOP DOING THIS TO ME

god i’m mad. fuck this

“and the face is unfamiliar--”

“i’ve heard things about you, bren. welcome back” “i’m curious what you know about this boy. you say you--”

hi i’d just like y’all to know that i am actively dying. actively dying with every goddamn sentence that i MISS. i hate this bullshit

i am very, very tired of this.

“some of us get tired of macabe fairy tales. so you enjoy your mouth full of lies.”

oh i know what’s different this time. it’s the accent shift, it’s the shift in tone, and it’s the complete and utter lack of any--what’s the word. words like “like,” what’s the word for those. pausing words. thinking words. words that mean you are searching for the right thing to say

“i would--i would want to go to make sure that he gets there safely” “you guys could go on without me and i could probably catch up, if you need to” oh dear

that’sa sad

“it is spic and span. it is clean, the furniture has been slightly rearranged” oh man yeza really went to town. went stircrazy went afraid?

caleb walked off???

nott is not allowed to be. leaving :(

oh hey caleb

caleb....... autistic......

“then realize i’m being an asshole and go back to the xhorhaus” :(

jester that is so dang sad

are u going to add anything or no

oh

“do you think there are people living in this kiln i have i never explained?

i’ve never been then how do you know if people live there

well this is as good at ime as any. i’m gonna continue whittling

the day after the raven queen ascended 3 of her champions were givin a task of dealing with one of the heros of the war

and his body could not be contiained within the city for reaosns that are lost he had to be finished these 3 heroes were named clay, stone, and dust

the argued for many days what they should do and stone said tehy should be given to the air

the clay said we should give him to the earth

and dust said we should give them to fire from the ashes, that fire that great works would arise

and they prayed to the raven queen for guidance in these arly days and the rq answered and she said that she hd already taken what belogn to her and that these 3 heroes should find the wildmother and ask her for guidance and ask her what we were to do with what was left

eventually she spoke to each of them in turn and she told stone take the limbs of this hero and walk the planes until he found an oasis with veins tht he would feed the limbs to these beasts

and then clay entered into a forest until he found a spring, the water sournded by a crystal of lkdsgjfhg

the flora should be my gift to the archeart to remind her of all that is beautiful

the dust a black onyx pool of fire and magma and burn what remained and everything that was made there would bear that heros mark

and these 3 families have guarded and accepted the dead for all this time and these three temples each of us on occasion making a pilgrimage but very rarely

somewhere there’s a member of the dust, in the north. ready to help

“i’m 2000 years old” “are you shitting me right now!” “yes” “fuck yoU!!”

“we have maintained that temple since the raven queen ascended”

JEEEEEZUS

that was so much.

“the head came with us, that’s what they say. i mean it’s already gone, it’s just another flower in the garden”

help i couldn’t TYPE all of that

that was. so much

i hoped for cad lore, i hoped to update my cad lore post, but that was SO MUCH MORE THAN I WAS EXPECTING, jeezus

beau’s jester impression was so good

“ah right, pour that, i really wanted some tea, you are just in time” caleb i fucking love you. i love you SO much

“sit with me while i have a drink, okay”

“i am going to have a shot and calm my nerves”

is marisha okay over there

caleb looks so upset

god. this rly is a bad day in calebland

“i’ll stay up for an hour writing in the other book and turn in”

FUCK and HELL dairon is gonna EAT HER

anyways too much happened this episode i’m dying & living but mostly dying

in conclusion: jeeEEEEEeeeeEEEEZ

[arodrwho]

critrole 2.68 lb

o dang no laura

o texting in again!

once again sam’s ad does not disappoint

o Heck Yeah it’s recap time

“you are dark” “well..yeah” “god now i’m really scared” i love. their interactions

“who do you feel like has it?” “.....they’re all so shifty” nott u dork,,

“i mean caleb has killed his only family members” liAM’S FAC E

also nott jesus christ

“caduceus wouldn’t do that he’s a nice guy” [taliesin cackles] fucking incredible

“what do you mean caleb killed his whole family” “ah, you know, it’s a figure of speech, it’s like--it’s--” “what does the figure of speech mean. like, how would you use it in a sentence?” yasha i love you

“it’s a figure of.....” “frustration?” “yeah it’s the equivalent of...of ‘aw, SNAP’” nott that is the shittiest lie i’ve ever heard. i kind of love it & i love even more that it’s kinda working

“listen caleb has some secrets in his past that maybe i shouldn’t have mentioned. i can’t think straight right now i can’t think straight i’m jonesing hard” NOTT. STOP. u almost played that off but oh my gOD u fuck’d the hell up

“so he did kill his whole family?” “i....i not grandparents or anything, there could be extended family--” a) i doubt it, & b) noTT WHAT THE HELL

“i was trying to do the thing” :(( am sorry it didn’t work but also yasha i love u. +2 autism yasha

“i’m learning how to people” +12 autism yasha!!!!!!!!!

god. every time i hope nott & caleb might start to repair the distance between them sth like this happens & it makes me So Sad

“do u ever wonder what is on the other side” “of the bridge?” “o that too” caleb i fucking love you

“little too concerned with what’s going on in this life before i start worrying about what’s...beyond” “i don’t know that i worry about it i’m curious though”

“i assume my version of whatever it is, it’s not great” oh boy

“oh... i wouldn’t think that way. if everyone was judged by those standards, i think it doesn’t look great for a lot of us. i mean. i guess what i’m saying is i’ll be joining you i guess” “oh well maybe you can call down several stories to me and say hello” “u want a berry?” “u want a drink”

“are you keeping it from nott or are you keeping it for nott?” “i don’t know really. these are good” cale b

“and it’s been nice to see her with him. i a little bit don’t know what to do with myself as much. it’s very awkward we. developed a unique relationship and i feel awkward. you know she used to. we slept on the side of the road a lot and would sleep next to each other in the cold and i feel strangely foolish about it it didn’t feel foolish before but it does now. these have a little bit of an aftertaste” ok 1, arosads fuckin CONFIRMED. my fic would’ve been so TIMELY if i’d finished & posted it this week. ah well. this weekend prolly. this weekend......... & 2, i love. caleb’s offhand comments scattered throughout this. that’s very autistic of him. i love him so much

“u feel awkward because of a close relationship with a friend?” “a little bit she has found herself or found what she is looking for. not entirely but uh. i i i don’t know what we’re talking about. we just had a. routine. i like routines somewhat” AUTISM. and also more arosads confirmed.

“feeling replaced? are you jealous?” “a bit probably a little bit” “that actually makes me feel kind of reassured. it’s like the most basic human emotion so. you’re not a total lost cause” “euh” “that was a joke. god fuck i need to work on my jokes” “no i know” “i need to work on my delivery. my delivery is just--” “you are very deadpan yeah” AUTISM

“she’s still ur friend u know that right” “yeah” “no matter what she goes off and does. you’ll always be partners. at least that memory of being partners at a certain time of your life” /sadface liam “yeah. yeah. anyway. well i guess i’m just going to think about the good days ?” “mmhmm. think about the good days”

“thousand yard stare into the void, past the bridge” :(((((((((((((

“i just kinda stay up for an extra five minutes and stare at the group for a bit” :(((((((((((((((((((((((

“i am yeah. i discovered that a smile and a laugh is a good way of infuriating your siblings when they’re trying to get to you” god i love caduceus

also taliesin u are killing me

w/the continually refusing to say precisely how many sibs

it is making me WORRIED that the reason u are not saying might perhaps be bc u don’t. know if u should count the dead ones

which. fair

and he also probably doesn’t know how many dead ones there are

which. SAD

anyway SKELLETOR. u called it a corpse immediately after & now all i can think is that conversation 

cad is having trouble thinking this through. i’mma mark this down for an autism

“caleb would know” “i was thinking about magic what did you say?” o caleb....

“without saying anything i just slowly send one of the globules to go dancing around nott’s head” caleb. i love the u

“kill your ho--hopes and dreams of. no i would never do that nott” good save yasha i love. u

notttttt

what the fuck is this. sam what the fuck

oh good rolls!

hhhh’oh boy 13 for traps. that’s frightening

i thought it was blessing of the trickster? is it just bless? okay

ohhhhhh no

“laura’s calling” lmfao

“i love you bye” lmao nice

“i think caleb is just quietly sweating bc he’s feeling caduceus’s huge weight make the bridge behind him go [sound effects]” incredible

[jester voice] “tell my storyyyy” amazin

HI I’M SCARED

I’M MORE SCARED

B E A U

caleb is handflapping!!!!!!!!!!!!! ffUCk yeah

liam is doing an stim now w/whatever he’s holding & i choose to believe caleb is stimming w/soMEthing in this moment

god i’m so weak for caleb stims

“my eyes are watering cos i’m crying from fear” fjord. i love you

aw hell another wis save

FOK.

fjord, caleb, & nott

je ee eeez caleb ok cool

thank god they both rolled low

“it’s gonna be terrible, it was a natural 20″ lmAO good job nott. i love u congratualtions fuck yeah

“looks like water almost it’s textured weird & it’s moving weird. it looks like tar or oil but it’s not textured like tar or oil it looks like skin” jESUS

MAT T WHAT THE FUCK

i love this but WHAT THE FUCK

nott what the fuck. nott. nott you are going to fucking die

nOTT THAT’S SOMEHOW WORSE

that’s so many fucking natural 20s y’all i’m very afraid for ur luck later

ah, there are the low rolls. in the initiative

fjord please...,,

beau, buddy,,,

NOTT

DDDDDDDD:

he’s gonna not do the thing???? oh. oh okay i guESS

JESTER BUDDY,,,,

i’m having so many emotions

I’M HAVING SO MANY EMOTIONS

nott is always making self-sacrificial moves for others & someone hasnow done it for her (beau & caleb have got close, but on this particular level--only jester i think has managed it & i am. feeling things. how very dare y’all)

goddang that’s a lot of nat 20s

“talieSIN ur a warlock” goddamn incredible

oof yasha, buddy,,,,

aw tal

i love u

oof. nott

oh thank god they made it

SIDENOTE but i have very specific priorities.......... & those priorities are aro & autistic content. ship content? i’m immune.

beau/jester moments? immune. fjord/jester moments? immune. nott/jester moments? immune.

completely & totally immune.

i care only abt caleb’s arosads & caleb’n’nott content & everybody being super duper autistic

& i find this. amusing

i’m sorry travis but that’s a terrible jester voice

OH the dead body they took

very neat

sidenote.

“the laughing hand. timeless & seeking the torment of all. the undying chosen” jeeeeeez creepy i like it

“mind uh, sending your, your, your parrot--” “it’s a cat” gotta love cad not knowing anything abt nature, & caleb insisting always that frumpkin is a cat even when is not catshaped

crystal barrier u say? is caleb gonna have feelings abt that or nah

WH AT DID I MISS

i stopped paying attention for fiV E SECONDS

ok i got a recap i’m good i’m good

did u just say BITE ATTACK

what the FUCK

aCID????

fJORD WHY UR WIS IS SO LOW

ur not to know this though

& thank u for wanting to help yasha

even if it was. perhaps illadvised it was kind & good

oh jeez the mirror’s gone ?

dagger???? dagger?????????? magic dagger ??

yasha KILLED HER DOUBLE,,,,,

ohohohohoho good job fjord

oh DANG caleb?? u say caleb?????

ohhhh

that’s SO MANY nat 20s

oh jeez why can’t anyone else get in

oof caddy dude

“u run over and there is no crystal wall on that side” [high pitched] “hWAT”

beau my dude,

BUG DAMAGE

nice nice nice nice nice

“i found a thing over here by the way” i love u cad

was pulling that knife right out the best idea?

mmmm

oh i guess it was

“hey look at this” god i love caduceus

i feel like half of what i say in these liveblogs is that i love characters

& u know what. i’m valid

fjord oh my god i love you

....u see.

lmao beau’s fists up, fjord ain’t think that through

no frumpkin vision????????

interesting....................

wait what. hollow??

what is hollow what’d i miss

oooooo music

music music

EYYYYYYYY

thank u laura/jester

oh jeez un angel

oh dang the dagger

ohhhh dear. angel. eyes bleeding

what. did they unlock

i’m worried.............

OH it’s over already oh dang

oh dang oh dang oh dang

hot DIGGety dang

well! that sure all did happen

this was a Lot and i am Delighted

thank u @critrole cast for this episode

[nochiquinn]

campaign 2 episode 15: worbage

overwatch league has eaten me help

have I mentioned how glad I am that, like, movies and tv shows and stuff have started using critrole for advertising

I don't think G&S would sell them out entirely so I just think of it as them Making It

"but these criminals promised us!"

I just want taliesin's hair. I don't want the maintenance but I want that hair.

"did you think it was for another reason?" "wh- NO."

"I've been practicing one tactic, it's called wearing this ring of waterwalking!"

the cave ate nott

fucking octoroks

discord: nott is gonna get vored by a cave rock

so excited about these ones

I still really like this new camera layout

"EAT SHIT ROCKFACE"

I love Laura's enormous shirtdress

"I'm always a fan of going down" MARISHA

beau: I CAUGHT IT nobody look at me

"that thing's going to try to kill us"

I fucking loved spirographs

[starts a wrestling chant] puzz-le room, puzz-le room

alpha why

wow my focus is shot. I've been watching but I have no idea of anything

I actually dozed off, I woke up when he said initiative, are they fighting a gazebo

"no time to thank me!" "thank you?" "NO TIME!"

the cold didn't bother it anyway

liam is very attractive tonight. I know I'm usually focused on the girls but liam is winning out tonight

I feel so bad for laura. coughing while pregnado is The Worst; you're like half-suppressing it and it just makes everything hurt more

marisha's face is my face

"is that your new name? simple tool?"

wow it's post-break and I don't even have a whole page in notepad, I am REALLY zoned out

I'll rewatch with datemate on sunday but still

"no more dick jokes! focus on the cube!"

matching initiatives, yashabeau is canon

the marker looks like a little crown

does he, y'know [makes a gesture like a giant quivering cube] slap jello?

jello shots

SLAP THAT JELLO

caleb: INCREASE THE THING

laura with the messy bun is peak comfy

oh shit ohko jester

and then the room is dead silent

yashaaaaaaaaa

bottom table looking like a rave

still can't get through a door without someone dying

guys. I want to sleep. so does my computer. laura and sam look like they're about to keel over at the table. 

they found the homunculus factory

ashley's face @ "sword"

rude, travis

children

YOU MUSTN’T READ FROM THE BOOK