#this got too preachy

[stargazing-sapphire2]

Making myself sad today by remembering that by the time of Alessia's birth, it was smack right in the middle of the Heresy, and it was due to this that Lion was just...absent for a good chunk of her life. I'm talking missing major milestones such as her first words, her first steps, etc.

Even in the rare instances he was around, every time he attempted to interact and play with his little daughter, it was just uncomfortable for him, despite Aelia's best efforts to establish that bond, but it was something that never fully stuck, and Lion only did the bare minimum.

Only after Aelia's death did to accumulate to Lion just ignoring poor Alessia. A lot of it had to do with the grief of losing Aelia, and the fact that he struggled to even look at Alessia. Oh, she may looked like his mini version, but he saw way too much of Aelia in her, and her naive innocence to the concept of death and how permanent it was disgusted him.

Alessia was still a young child when Lion went into stasis, and the girl was left to be raised her grandmother. She had little memories of her mother prior to her death, and her only memories of Lion were her crying and wailing for his attention, only for it to go unheard.

And all of it accumulated into her forming bitter resentment towards her father once she reached adulthood. The feelings of inadequacy and abandonment followed her nearly her entire life, to which Alessia used it prove that she didn't *need* to prove anything to her old man. If she wasn't good enough for him, then why bother crying over him? Why bother mourning for him when he could not be with her when she was just a baby who lost her mother?

And all of it...all of it just hurt.

[dreamyintersexouppy]

i really love positivity for trans women who don't voice train or tuck or w/e like they deserve the positive attention but i always see it loudest from tme people who seem to value the mythical non-transitioning trans woman so highly and sexually that it doesn't come off as anything but fetishization, and then those same people will turn around and say trans women who do seek gender euphoria through these things are 'conforming' like i think you're the one trying to get us to conform, specifically to your fantasy of a brick that tops you and has no opinions or desires of her own

[kirbybecomesastarwarrior]

Hey… um, Lady Celestine? Hehe, I know we’ve met before but this time, I came for advice. How exactly do you deal with.. criticism? Like criticism for who you are? Or what you are? Sorry to bother you with this. - Magopon

Lady Celestine: You know dear, that whole situation of "being criticized for who you are?" that hogwash usually comes from people who don't even know who you are... Such a paradox.

That's the first thing you must remember my dear is: they don't know you...

@kirbyoctournament

[spacenintendogs]

Sorry for the ask. My brain craves HTTYD-based interaction and the shadowban on my sideblog won’t be lifted for at least a month.

I think the first movie is so special in comparison to everything else. Not only because of Hiccup and Toothless, but because of the dragon riders. They all act so different — like Snotlout is sort of like the leader, Astrid gets along with the twins over the idea of getting a scar in training.

They all just seem to be pretending to be something to all fit in with one another (except, maybe, the twins? Maybe?) and I think one of the main reasons they reject Hiccup is not only because he’s a complete clutz (two left feet, that’s why he lost one) but also because he, too, is pretending… just not well enough. (This mostly goes for Astrid and Snotlout and a bit for the twins, arguably the only one nice to Hiccup is Fishlegs but he’s also pretending to hate dragons, so… I guess this also applies to him.) (I suppose the only one who ever never really dropped the act was Snotlout, which would be why he’s suddenly put in the underdog’s position in the group, even if it’s mostly just seen in the TV shows.)

(Plus, it’s the only one I haven’t got on DVD and I only rewatched it today when it was on TV exclusively for that minute long scene of Snotlout taming Hookfang because I couldn’t find a clip of it on YouTube. Really says a lot about me.)

Yeah. I just think the group dynamics in the first movie are very special. It (from dynamics and atmosphere) just feels so different to the rest of the franchise, including the other two films.

hi! sorry for taking so long! i'm not used to being asked for questions abt this kind of stuff!! i'm usually the one doing the asking or i lurk a bit akdjsjdks

but no u have points abt the dynamics between the gang in the first movie. smth i noticed while rewatching it with some friends is in the beginning when snotlout is making fun of hiccup for messing up the raid through his wrecklessness (tee hee), snotlout after he gets shoved down by gobber, gets back up, and laughs, and looks to astrid. she was also smiling at him, as was fishlegs, as he & the twins made fun of & laughed at hiccup. and then they all just. move on & snotlout deflates

this tiny little smile says SOOOOOO much <3

smth tho i noticed u said is that snotlout is kind of the leader, however the film has astrid be at the center & front of the gang or them all looking to her or making sure she is the one they listen to bc she is the leader of the gang. she's THE ideal model viking bc she has to be. snotlout is the most vocal & the second best by far in training, & similar to how he is in the shows & other films he's pushing himself towards the front when he can to get the attention of others & be taken seriously or to be seen as another model viking (like impressing astrid)

there's an intimacy abt astrid & the gang in the first movie that just hasn't fully shown in the other two films or even the shows with tiny details of them fiddling in the background or even the foreground of a scene when someone else is talking & u see them interact. the great hall when tuffnut is playing with his knife before saying "wait? you mean READ?" astrid is amused by him playing with the knife.

but what you said abt them all pretending: they are. fishlegs is still seen as weird but he's friends & in with the gang. he loves dragon knowledge & knowing abt them, but it's for the art of the kill instead of simply knowing them as creatures. the twins love destruction but with all the talk of being on a team & working together with other vikings they bicker more with each other & end up not getting as far bc they get focused on their own shenanigans. snotlout is trying to show astrid he's the model viking & be a flirty teenage boy at the same time lmao. astrid is the one who changes first when everyone saw her as the most steadfast in her ways. The Viking Way™️.

snotlout in the shows becoming the "underdog" is bc he's not astrid, who learned & changed herself but now is such a tryhard she applies herself to the fullest extent in the opposite direction (i love her). fishlegs can actually enjoy dragons & learn abt them without having to fight them (he's the most skittish of the gang), the twins now have direct ways to blow things up & do their shenanigans (after also having learned to work in a team!!!) without worry of there being a war against the dragons (now just other ppl but ppl can't breathe fire... right? lmao). hiccup is the newest edition of the group, the circle, & now he's just?? the leader. they look to him now after snotlout did everything to get astrid & others attention. astrid is by hiccup's side 100% now & bites back at snotlout when she didn't before. snotlout has changed & loves hookfang, he loves dragons, but he doesn't want to change the Viking Way™️ he's known & tries to force the Old Ways™️ and New Ways™️ together in a way that moreso clashes. he wants to still be at the top but forces instead of working to his advantage. his jealousy of hiccup grows to a point where he's basically self destructing in acting out & causes (unintentional) harm to others but then brushes off the consequences of his actions. & then he learns. he's slower to the take, similar to the adults, but he's also got it more quickly than they ever could. he just hasn't stopped pretending like the other kids.

smth i love abt the first film is the explanation as to why the gang all have american/canadian accents (bc of jay baruchel lmao) vs the scottish accents of the adults. to show the generational difference. they are different from the adults & a very clear distinction is made by the accents of their voices. you can almost say hiccup having the most jarring of everyone's voice (so nasally & distinct) ties in with hiccup being the leader. he commands attention but not in the way that's expected. even "the more viking-like teens" (as gobber refers to them) have distinct voices & even if they're acting how the village expects.

it's not rlly them, is it? not fully at least.

guess sometimes you need a little guidance, & it can come from the most unexpected places. maybe someone who's been in a leader position can give you a little extra push

& even if you're afraid & don't adjust to the change 100%, you can start coming out of your shell & stop pretending. some stop pretending easier than others, & some ppl are stuck in a lot of their ways. but they still feel they can relax abt smth & stop pretending abt that.

it makes everyone happier, right? :)

[jeffbytes]

decided i'm not gunna share my full story regarding my self ship hiatus, more just a brief overview here, untagged. i did some thinking on this, and the full explanation with backstory bears the risk of painting the hobby in a bad light and a "warning others to avoid doing it" more than anything else, which wouldnt have been my intention at all, it's definitely personalised risk

my circumstances health wise and why self shipping had a severe negative effect on me are exceptional circumstances and not something that an overall PSA brush could paint the whole community with in a non bias way. i dont want to scare anyone! youre probably fine and dont need to step back from it if your relationship with selfshipping isnt as detrimental as mine was. people can be uncomfortable with doubles without experiencing delusion as well, they're not hand in hand and my experience while likely shared by at least one other person, cant be seen as a be all end all risk warning for everyone that does it

the TLDR (not really lol), it got too real for me and was affecting my ability to live a normal life dodging doubles and losing months of my life to states of disassociative delusion. i'm awaiting to be seen by a high intensity team who deal with this sort of thing (they were supposed to see me in November, still waiting, god save the NHS) until then i'm not engaging too heavily in selfshipping in order to retain my sense of self and stay grounded to reality - as morbid and unpleasant it is to be grounded to said reality rn anyway. focusing on my new job and videogames and drawing other stuff. not stopped completely just keeping it at arms length, to keep in touch with myself and my current state

it's a lovely creative outlet if it doesn't border into the line being blurred too much, something that probably only becomes a risk if you've got similar health conditions and i dont want to make anyone second guess themselves if theyre having a good healthy time with it ;; i wasnt having a healthy time with it, scrolling social media was like a minefield of risk, i was constantly upset and uncomfortable due to circumstances i had no control over, i lost months of my life to disassociation. it is what it is

i'll return to it properly someday, when i know it's just gunna be a fun artistic hobby for me when i've resolved all my Issues™ and i'm not doing it for escapism or comfort or filling a hole anymore, just a side hobby to an otherwise regular headspace

[leslie057]

the choice to be hospitable, sacrificial, and encouraging to others when you yourself feel tired, upset, and stressed is the BEST choice you can make in the history of choices ever by the way

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

reading dungeon meshi

[linda-rose]

say what you will about svu's season 20 lmao, but them continuing that storyline in "Facing Demons," with an amazing callback to the title of Cassidy's last episode AND doing it so well by not making it Over The Top but still significant was 10/10. Might be my favorite episode of this season so far.

[applestorms]

been reading through some of the author commentary from the patreon post archive for HS^2 stuff & writing notes on certain quotes from it and i think i've come up with (slightly) more distinct reasons for why the epilogues/homestuck^2 feel so off and/or frustrating to me. not gonna post the full thing + i'm only about halfway through reading it all, but here's a few points (warning this one gets kinda political):

It’s possible “Ultimate” Dirk’s presence was suppressing other splinters of himself from manifesting.

Wait, so... Ult. Dirk is just suppressing the other splinters? But I thought the entire point was that he subsumed all the other splinters to become one Ultimate Self? Weird, but I guess that plays more into the narrative powers side of things that they put a lot of emphasis on. That, or the creators don't have a very clear idea of what actually makes an Ultimate Self, which would. also work lmfao

Unlike the other victors of the game, Jane threw herself into the world the kids made together. She grew up preparing to take over a major company, and has the confidence to show for it.

Gonna get more into two ideas here in a bit related to this quote, the first being HS^2's Trump Era politics & the second being Jane more specifically. Here's the first connection:

I don’t know if you noticed, but everything is terrible right now. And I don’t mean just in Homestuck’s dumb fake earth. I mean in our dumb real earth. Our planet is burning and folks go to bed hungry just so twelve guys can have more money than Croesus could have ever dreamed of. The concept of “truth” is at its most tenuous – political divisions involve contradictory interpretations of basic facts. I’ve been playing a lot of Death Stranding recently. Basically any media that you’re making in 2019 has to either address what’s going on around us or come off sanitized, sterilized, with its head in the sand. Kojima offers a simple power fantasy: Through Norman Reedus’s sweaty, urine-filled labor, the things that divide us can be banished. America can be unified again.

HS^2 is kind of agonizingly pessimistic when it comes to its (not at all subtle) political messaging, which I suppose you can in part attribute to a Trump-era leftist/liberal culture, but I personally also attribute to a specific flavor of white person existential pessimism. What frustrates me about HS^2's politics in particular though is just how much it talks down to the reader, acting like their (frankly, imo, pretty fuckin basic) reflections on the flaws of capitalism, gender constructs, and contemporary American politics are these revolutionary ideas that nobody other than them truly understands. It's really aggravating to read, honestly, and reminds me a lot of the perspective reflected on in this video by F.D Signifier about Bo Burnham's Inside & white performative liberalism, though in this context the creators are much more insufferable about it than Burnham ever was. (This is NOT to say every creator working on HS^2 was white or even ascribes/d to these kinds of politics, but that's one of the voices that I feel comes through the strongest.)

Edit: Re-watched that whole video and he really does get at the exact idea I'm thinking of. However, I would add that the thing that makes HS^2 feel especially insufferable to me is the fact that it doesn't feel like the authors are engaging in their politics as genuinely or personally as Burnham does. Where Burnham's look into these issues is self-reflective, the existential dread coming from the ways in which he himself plays a part in perpetuation of systems of oppression, I feel like HS^2's creators were unwilling to look at the ways in which they themselves might've benefited from the same kinds of privileges. It's just- it's egotistical, honestly! And it's a vibe that I get from a lot of heavily queer, young, white fandom spaces, which presume that because of their own experiences with queer and trans-based bigotry they understand everything and don't have to examine their own biases or any other nuances to their social position/the privileges they might personally have & continue to benefit from. I don't know- Homestuck was never going to be a good medium for examining the nuances of race and privilege, that was determined by the very first page or whenever Hussie decided non-canon races were a thing, but that doesn't make it any less agonizing to watch such a ham-fisted, pompous attempt at "social commentary." Ugh.

I guess I can understand the desire to get HS^2's politics to be more up to date and with it, again considering what the Trump-era American political landscape looked like (and what HS proper looked like, let's be real), but the way they approach this just makes the authors seem that much more immature to me. I hesitate to even call this political commentary, it's just pointing out that things are bad and then complaining about it. There's no hope here and it shows, and I personally have very little patience when it comes to that kind of perspective. I don't want to be too harsh to the creators or completely undermine the ways they might've faced structural social challenges (yes, trans people have it fucking bad right now! And there was absolutely some bigoted shit directed at the creators that was more reprehensible than anything here, I was there when this shit was coming out, I saw it all too (alongside the genuinely good criticism that they wrote off just as easily, but I digress)), but this shit is just bad, I'm sorry.

Privilege, safety, and inherited wealth do funny things to the brain. People justify to themselves why they have what they have. If you have enough for long enough, you start to convince yourself you deserve it. Jane won the game, lost very little, and as god of a new world decided to dominate its markets as a corporate mogul. Her conception of what was possible with her capability and god-like reason was shaded, limited by the world she grew up in. She is not a goddess of fantasy, a semi-mythical trickster creature like Jasprose, or a meta-aware marionette master like Dirk. She saw a new world and chose, simply, to replicate the power structures of the 21st-century America she was raised in. Boardrooms, power pantsuits, formality and professionalism.

(Longer quote here justifying the horror they did to Jane's character but let's add one more before I elaborate further)

But in the end, isn’t that what every story is? Trying to untie knots that you put in the rope yourself?

This quote is very telling and gets at my issue with the Jane quote from above, really one of my main issues with the all post-canon shit just in general: when the authors were creating a bunch of problems and inserting them into the story, something that is (typically) necessary for any kind of meaningful storytelling, they went about the process of introducing that conflict totally wrong.

In the original story of HS, problems for the characters primarily originated from Sburb, which acts as both the game they're playing and, as is demonstrated throughout Act 1, the world itself. Problems in the story thus often feel at least kind of true to life because they either originate directly from the game & its constructs (which the characters have no control over, parallel to how you can't usually control the world irl) or individuals responding to those circumstances w/ their own set of unique characteristics (Vriska being an active character and creating villains to become a hero but also Rose deciding she has to go through with a suicide mission in response to the game/Doc Scratch and Dave in turn responding to her actions, etc. etc.).

This is not necessarily true for all of the story or every single plot point/character arc, but I think it generally follows, and so for as meta as HS gets, it never really felt to me like you could see the hand of the author when it comes to how major plot elements are introduced, outside of a few very overt examples. Problems are able to crop up fairly naturally through characters responding in what they think to be natural/rational ways to their circumstances, but may or may not be due to the limitations on their understanding. The situation and environment of Sburb and the world of HS itself may be absurd and stupid and crazy and very obviously created by an author, but the characters typically feel consistent and true to themselves as people in how they respond to the absurdity and confusion of their world. It's one of the reasons why I think HS is so appealing as a coming of age story actually, since stepping into adulthood (or even just your teenage years) does often feel like entering a world that is crazy and cruel and unknowable with all of these malicious, far-away forces that know way more than you could ever possibly understand controlling every detail of the world around you and deciding your fate before you even get the chance to know it's coming. These are kids, they really don't have a lot of power even once they ascend to godhood in comparison to the forces they're dealing with, and the story & world reflects that.

The problem w/ HS^2 & the Epilogues is that the authors don't have the same game construct to work with, barely have a world at all to begin with actually, and so they instead twist pretty much every single character into the worst possible versions of themselves in order to try and recreate the same HS absurdity. But it just doesn't work, because there is no real explanation for why every character is suddenly at their lowest point and acting like a fucking idiot all the time other than "ooo adulthood makes everyone worse!" and vague gestures to capitalism and privilege (or what I would call structural ignorance, though I don't think they ever call it that), so the story just comes across as incredibly cruel and uncaring and unabashedly pessimistic in a way that's just miserable to read.

Yes, Jane grew up privileged, it makes sense that she would be sympathetic to capitalism and try to recreate the same social structures that fucked people up on the original Earth- but that is not nearly enough justification for why she has suddenly gone full fascist dictator endorsing troll eugenics and trying to murder people, and it doesn't even work well as social commentary cause it's so extreme right from the start that it couldn't possibly reflect real life issues or the development of actual fascist/bigoted ideas. Yes, Trump's ties to the alt-right are fucking terrifying and conservative politics in general in the U.S. nowadays are incredibly fucked, but there's still logical people and seemingly rational explanations being utilized to justify the bullshit that many people genuinely believe in and HS^2 fails to meaningfully reflect or comment on any of those, at least from what I can tell. Everyone is consistent with how they are terrible, I'll give them that, for Dirk and Jane and everyone else the flaws that are being emphasized are ones that are generally kind of consistent with canon, but I simply cannot get behind why they suddenly decided to be the worst possible versions of themselves other than that the authors realize they needed plot and decided that the best way to make Candy and Meat the Bad Timelines:tm: was to spontaneously make everyone as insufferable as possible.

I think a part of the problem is the time skip, honestly. And the fact that Earth C as a location itself is surprisingly underutilized when it comes to creating problems for the characters. The characters are gods ruling over a world where they can be dictator of the globe at the end of a single election. Without the game and the lack of distinct outside villains, there is nothing stopping them from having full agency over everything other than each other, so in order to create plot, instead of going through the effort to create a world or social structure they just made everyone worse and called it a day. It's like the epitome of white liberalism's inability to understand bad systems vs. bad individuals- there are no real systems here, nothing that actually functions past a name, so everyone is just fucking terrible.

(Honestly, I think the fact that there are no overt outside villains could've been a good way of transitioning to the fact that these characters aren't kids anymore- if Dirk and Jane didn't have to be transformed into fucking caricatures of themselves in order to do it. Really the problem is that so many of the characters that used to add interesting nuance to the social conflict are fucking dead now. RIP trolls.)

Since this is turning out to be the political astronaut ramble I guess I'll just keep going for a bit: one of the most meaningful insights a professor has ever given to me came is the idea that we "haven't earned our pessimism yet," as the younger generations, or haven't faced The Shit directly or long enough to justify having as little hope as we do. Many of us have looked at the problem and given up before even trying to solve it, and are, in fact, not really justified in making such a decision.

For me, there's an additional layer to that idea as well: one of the ideas that Beauvoir talks about in her feminist philosophy is that of agency, wherein social privilege allows for certain groups to decide which meaning-creating projects they want to or to not take on where others are not allowed to make the same choice. If you sit in any kind of position of social privilege, that historical role has continually been the one to not only benefit from the rules, but make them in the first place. This kind of pessimism is thus not just unearned, not just frustrating to listen to, but actively harmful to the creation of meaningful change. Who really benefits from inaction? From a lack of change to the status quo? And who are the privileged to make decisions about whether or not we're allowed to fight for this shit in the first place?

[lilyhoshikawa]

I have GOT to practice self-restraint on social media, this shit sucks

[scholarhect]

i will never outgrow responding to people in confusing ways but it will be ok because people are patient :)

[v-iv-rusty]

some people on this site are just fuckin mean honestly. yeah I know that's just how the internet is but every once in a while I venture out of my curated space out of curiosity and like the majority of ppl are ok! but some ppl. it must suck being that bitter all the time about benign shit. personally I could not scrape together the energy

[settingorange]

Saw someone. Using periods as a gotcha for divine creation. And not to be raised loosely baptist on main but in the Christian Bible the whole terror of childbirth is very intentional as a punishment. Not only does it say the guy who created the universe did it but he did it out of anger and would do it again

[arminsumi]

ADULT STORE

↳ GETO すぐる + fem!reader

"Oh, see I told you... this product's a bit intense."

1.5k words

Pt. 2

Summary : product testing with the helpful employee at the adult store!

Warnings : minors do not read/interact : smut/explicit content : using toys, stranger/hookup sex, softdom!Geto, praise, cunnilingus, fingering, dirty talk, squirting, multiple orgasms, sex fantasy trope (sex with the adult store employee)

Note : i haven't made a trip to the adult store in ages bc... everything i want is so expensive lol (the struggle) 😭 i have some rlly funny adult store stories i could ramble about but i will refrain ✋ anyways, indulge yourselves in this fantasy, angels! 😈

Playme : wanna know what it's like?

The gate of the store buzzes, the employee watches you open it with a clink and enter the adult store. Your eyes flood with the overwhelming sight of wall-to-wall toys.

The smooth voice of the employee comes from behind the cash register.

"Yo."

Long hair. Dark, brooding look — almost gothic. Attractive hands with pronounced veins running over the back of them, poised on the countertop which he's lazing over.

He sees you and slowly straightens out his back out to impress you with his height.

"Ah, h-hello..."

He hears you stutter, and assumes it must be your first time in an adult store.

"First time? I mean, in an adult store, that is." he breaks the ice.

"Haha, y-yeah... yeah, it's my first time."

Yeah, that's what I thought.

He holds hard and deep eye contact with you. Yes, he's aware of how intensely he stares. He's doing it on purpose.

"Would you like some assistance, or do you just want to leisurely browse by yourself?"

His tone is so friendly, it doesn't let on to how heated his abdomen is getting at the sight of you.

"Yes, please, I'd appreciate your assistance."

Aw, of course.

"M'kay... then let me assist you."

He smoothly comes out from behind the counter and the two of you stand in front of a wall of toys.

"Overwhelmed?" he chuckles, noting how your eyes widen while looking at all the products. "I know there's a lot to choose from. But just focus on your needs. What do you need?"

"What do I need? Honestly, I have no idea what I need." you laugh nervously.

I know exactly what she needs...

"Well, why don't we carefully go through the products together? I'm sure I can figure out what you need. Promise I know my stuff. I've been working here for three years."

His nonchalance and professionalism puts you at ease. It's something he prides himself on: making customers feel relaxed.

Your eye catches on a pink dildo, so he takes it off the rack to show you up close.

"This one's good, it's got a ribbed design." he shows it off. "Are you looking for just penetration or clitoral stimulation?"

Aw, she's flustered.

"Uh, both I guess? Yeah. I'd love both."

Of course you'd love both. That's what you need, pretty girl.

"Both? Come over here. Let me show you something you might like."

There's a flirty tension between the two of you that just keeps getting more and more... intense.

He plucks a curvy vibrator. It looks expensive. Because it is expensive.

"This one's got ten functions—"

"—ten?! Sounds a bit extra."

"Nothing's too extra when it comes to your personal pleasure."

The two of you share a long look, then laugh.

"But it really is an excellent product."

"Are you advertising?" you joke teasingly.

"Absolutely." he jokes, "Kidding. I'm not trying to come across as a preachy marketer or something. I've used it with partners in the past, that's why I'm recommending it; I know it's good. It's a pretty intense toy. Helps girls squirt even if they think they can't."

I could make her squirt.

He's running his eyes up and down your body.

"Is that so...?" you mumble flirtatiously, eyeing out the product in his veiny, manly hands.

"Hm, still a skeptic? Because I'm sure I could please you."

He hopes that you note his deliberate use of 'I' and not 'it' there.

"Yeah. I'm sure you could please me, too." you flirt.

A heat erupts in his abdomen and stomach.

Oh wow... now she's really flirting, huh? Why'd I wear tight pants today of all days...

He has an unwavering gaze on you. You've captivated him. Put him in some kinda horny trance.

"Did I say me? Sorry. Slip of the tongue." he murmurs, voice dropping lower, "I meant the vibrator." he obviously lies.

You and him exchange a suggestive, longing look. You can feel your pussy clench around nothing, begging to get stuffed up and pleasured.

He hesitates before speaking again, as if he's scared of crossing a line and making you uncomfortable.

"If you want to... we could test it out together?" he suggests. His nonchalance is an act, really he's so nervous when he asks this.

"I'd love to..." you consent, and he doesn't miss the erotic excitement in your tone.

He nods towards the backdoor, eyes keeping on you and your cute little body that he just wants to feel and squeeze like a toy itself.

"Promise to keep your lips sealed about this? I don't wanna get fired for uh... you know... demonstrating products... to my pretty customer."

"Only if you promise to help me squirt for the first time."

Oh wow. Fuck. I'm hard.

His lips widen into a devilish grin. "Sure thing."

After a sloppy, desperate make out with this stranger, you find yourself sat on the couch in the breakroom. Door locked. Blinds shuttered closed. Legs spread wide to his liking, as he cushions the vibrator into your plush slit.

He's rubbing it slowly up and down your folds. He watches your reactions intently, breathing heavier at the sight of your pussy squishing under the pink dildo. The buzzing sound fills the room, but your moans are louder.

He clutches the toy gently, massaging the bulbous head into your clit with sweeping circular motions.

"F-fuck... that pretty clit feels good, doesn't it? Yeah? Let's get it feeling even better."

He turns it up a notch. It buzzes harder against your sensitive nub.

"How's that? Haha, yeah, intense, isn't it?

"Yeahhh — Fuck! Ohhh that's so good, that's so — oh my goddd fuckkk. S-sorry I think... I'm gonna cummm — !!"

"It's okay. Cum as hard as you can, yeah? I want you to get a good idea of how well this toy can pleasure you before you buy it, after all. Oh there we go... just let go and... f-fuck... wow... j-just cum like that. Fuck... that pretty clit feels so good now, huh? Gonna cum? Gonna cum for me, with a vibrator on your cunt?"

He takes note of your reaction to his dirty talk and smirks. Then he slyly turns the toy's setting higher and it buzzes more intensely, and in one... two... three... seconds, you're squirting like crazy all over the pink vibrator and his hand.

Holy shit, look at that pretty pussy gushing... she could drench my dick. I wanna be inside her so fucking baddd...

"Oh, see I told you... this product's a bit intense." he regains his professional tone after you cum.

He turns the toy off and watches you come down from your shaking orgasm, smug look on his face. He keeps it clutched in his veiny hand, and brings it up to his lips to suck and lick up all your juices from it.

She tastes so fucking good... I feel dizzy.

You watch him with wide eyes as he tastes your slick off the toy.

"F-fuck... wh-what did you s-s-say your name was again?" you stutter, starstruck by this stranger.

You're so fucking dizzy, your pussy is buzzing like it still feels the intensity of the toy against it.

"Hm, wanna know my name?" he smiles teasingly, "How about you cum on my face and then I'll tell you."

"Fuck, okay."

And then as soon as you give him permission, he's hungrily diving between your thighs.

"Oh my god..." he loves how you gasp and writhe under the influence of his mouth.

Let's see how fucked-out I can get her. Wanna see her lose her mind 'cause of me.

His lips latch onto your labia and suckle, then onto your clit. He points his tongue at your clit, then oh my god flattens it and laps at your bud while suckling. His softness shows a hint to tenderness in his personality; he really knows how to treat a woman well.

This stranger spoils your pussy with his tongue and lips. He seems to be in his own little world while nosing between your thighs. He carelessly gets your juices smeared across his cheek and lets the rest dribble down his chin.

"Fuck fuck fuck — like that, like that. Don't stop don't stop — !! 'm gonna cum! G-gonna — fffffffucking cummmm ahhhhh — !!"

He flicks the tip of his tongue against your sensitive bundle of nerves, eager to make your pussy freak out on his mouth. Just before you cum he slips two fingers into your hole, middle and ring, and pumps them into a sweet spot hard. He just wants to get an idea of the feeling of your pussy when it cums.

Suckling at your clit, fingering you with nice hard rough strokes, closing his eyes like he's the one enjoying it meanwhile he's silent and you're moaning like you're going insane. He can tell you're close and speeds it up.

"Cum cum cum, cum for me. Just let go and cum." he sounds so desperate, and that professional tone of his is finally cracking. "Cum on my fucking face, please."

And he dives his tongue right back into your hole, wriggling his tongue around, resulting in the nastiest wet squelching sound. His lips press flat against your pussy, he draws in a deep breath and your heat is all he smells.

Please cum on my face. Please please please.

"Ah! Fuck! Fuckkkk!"

You gush right on his lips, which are plump and swollen and red and glistening with your slick.

He pulls away and licks his lips and tells you his name.

"Suguru, by the way. My name's Suguru. Hey... can I give you my number?"

Oh he's so smooth. But he's even smoother at the checkout, when he asks if you're free this Friday for a date. At his apartment. With the company of some of his favorite toys.

© arminsumi

Do not plagiarize / repost / translate / copy layouts / etc.

Do not steal what I've worked hard to create.

[avatar-aaang]

lmfaooooo coworker being like huh sexual harassment yea? you could always just take him to court. And im like thats not going to happen but then I guess I could show him how "rude" and "mean" I can really be lmaoooo

[hemlock-dreams]

What's Spidys relationship like with the other NY bound heros?

Got a bunch of other hero asks so it's time for Ye Olde Lore Dump!

Johnny and H!Spiderman have never gotten along- in either universe.

They don't even really have any real beef with each other, they're just two dudes who grate on each other's nerves for no particular reason- like two guys at a frat party who are just waiting for an excuse to duke it out.

There's just something about Johnny's playboy easy-come-and-go vibe that makes Spidey want to plant a fist in his face. And Johnny thinks Spiderman is a fucking buzzkill.

Black Widow and Spiderman have a good working relationship. He once helped her out of a tight spot in New York and he was fast, smart and discreet about it- so when she's got some ops she needs a second pair of hands for (under the table), she calls him.

Spiderman admires Nat's competence and single-minded focus in getting things done- they all appeal to the hunter in him. (And he's got a massive crush on her.)

They usually do one or two jobs every few months, and meet up for drinks at one of her safehouses. She's also knows his secret identity, because she's just that scary.

Logan and Peter are BFFs. For real. Logan was in town to help with some shit that ended up involving Deadpool and found himself at St. Margaret's.

He and Peter struck up a friendship that ends up with them going camping every couple of months for a week or so.

Logan likes Peter's no-bullshit sincerity and can tell he's had some shit(TM) go down in his life. Peter's easy to talk to and is good at reading the room. And Peter feels like Logan fills in that space Marko left as a friend/mentor/gruff bro figure.

Logan actually picks up when Peter calls. (most others he leaves on read).

Fun fact, he has no idea Peter is Spiderman.

And another fun fact, it's not Johnny Deadpool is jealous of, it's Logan.

Peter has a very complicated relationship with the Avengers.

On one hand, he knows what they do and what they stand for- on the other hand, he's got a real problem with authority figures. He's been invited to the Avengers multiple times, in both realities.

The answer is always blanket N.O. (And, depending on whether it's stark asking, accompanied by a giant middle finger). (Though he's reluctantly agreed to have an avenger's phone in case there are any massive threats they need help with).

As for the members:

Stark gets on his nerves like nothing else. He's not super easy to rile up, but Stark's playboy arrogance (real or not), way he talks down at people, the self-appointed authority, the entitlement, and, of course, the fucking hypocrisy- it makes Spidey go 0 to 'cashmeoutside' immediately.

He and the Captain sometimes get along, but mostly when the Captain isn't in one of his preachy, pontificating moments. They do work very well together in a combat capacity, but they don't have much to talk about.

Thor is fine, but completely outside of Spidey's sphere and also, difficult to work with given his powers.

Bruce and Spidey just don't have much to talk about, and once again, Hulk is way too loud and can't particularly coordinate when they have to team up.

In general, H!Spiderman gets along with the more 'loner' heroes like Murdock, Deadpool, Black Widow, Bucky, Logan, Clint and so on.

(Side note, imagine he said all these shots fired shit to the Avengers and they were like 'no? none of this happened?' because it's not the same reality and Spiderman has to go home and die from the cringe???) (no we'll let him be cool for this)

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Once again, thank you so much for the asks!! I really appreciate all the love this AU has gotten and I hope these answers satisfy!!!