#this got over 300 notes i’m counting it

[whillowed]

long time, no meme

[spidermans-l-o-v-e-r]

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

Pairing: Buck x Reader

Word count: 4.4k

Notes: The ending of this fic is brought to you by my best friend Molly. Who, at 13 wrote a 300 page One Direction fanfic and then got tired of it and legitimately just quit. This one’s for you babe.

“We’re here!!” You squeal while throwing the door open to Buck’s loft, and he nearly jumps five feet in the air and drops the popcorn when you burst through the door with Eddie. 

Eddie comes around the corner and rolls his eyes while setting the snacks out on the counter.

“I literally told her not to do that.” 

“Hey, I’ve got a key now. I can do what I want.” You wiggle Buck’s apartment key in front of Eddie’s face, and Buck starts unpacking the plastic bags.

“You realize that was for emergencies, right?”

“And this was an emergency! I had to let Eddie in; his arms were full.” You hop up on the barstools and start to help unpack, and Eddie shakes his head. 

“You know if you’d helped me carry them…” 

“Princesses don’t carry grocery bags, Eddie.”

“How do you turn into the most spoiled brat the second you leave the station every day??” He smacks his hand on the counter, and you reach over and pat his shoulder. 

“It’s called being professional, Edmundo.” 

Buck watched how you two interacted while setting up your snack plates. He wished he could be more like Eddie, teasing you and having you lying all over him when you’d die laughing.

But it just didn’t work for him. 

You guys were easy friends; you laughed, you joked, and he gave you a key to his loft. But he just didn’t feel smooth enough to take it a step further. He watched you throwing little punches at Eddie and Eddie lifting you up and running you to the couch to throw you while you screamed. 

Why couldn’t he be fun like that? 

Eddie comes back over while you’re setting up the movie and stands next to Buck, giving him a little hip bump.

“You’re quiet, man. What’s going on?” 

“Huh?” He starts, and Eddie snorts at the little heart shape he’d made out of marshmallows. 

“What’s going on?” 

“Nothing, nothing! Just in my head. I’ll be okay.” He brushes it off, and Eddie blinks at him because he knows his best friend, knows that man like the back of his hand… and he also knows his other best friend. Because the three of you were a trio, much to everyone’s dismay at work. Where you went, they went, and vice versa. So when Eddie first noticed the way Buck would stare at you when you weren’t looking? 

Oh, he needed to do something about that. 

So one night, before bed. Eddie turned to face you while you fought to get comfy on the cots and asked what you really thought of Buck… and after several minutes of swearing he’d never tell him, you pushed the beds together and spent half the time you were supposed to be sleeping whispering back and forth about how into him you were. 

Eddie could tell you were relieved to finally tell someone. 

If only you two idiots could see it. 

“So what did you decide on?” Buck brings your plate over, and Eddie carries the other two. His eyes stayed rolling apparently when he saw Buck set it down carefully for you and make sure you had the most pillows next to you, just like you liked. 

“Transformers! I haven’t watched that in forever!” You stand up from the floor, and Buck looks down at you. Eddie gags at the way you two stop for a second; he can hear your breath hitch and you suddenly turn away and grab your pink duffle from the floor.

“I’m gonna go change real quick! You guys don’t start without me!!” 

You hurry off to the downstairs bathroom, and Buck visibly deflates when you run.

“You should just talk to her,” Eddie sighs and puts his hands on his hips.

“About what?” Buck spins around, and Eddie has to keep from shaking him.

“About how you feel.” 

Buck had spilled his guts on more than one occasion about how into you he was and how nervous you made him. 

“I can’t do that! Do you know how embarrassing it’s gonna be when she tells me off?? But you know she’s too freaking nice. So she’ll probably give me a pity date and say she wasn’t feeling it.”

He flops hopelessly on the couch, and Eddie falls next to him and propped his feet up on the coffee table. 

“That’s not gonna happen.”

“It could! You don’t know!” 

He did know.

“Make sure you sit between us this time because if I sit next to her, I swear I’m gonna bust in my-“ 

You come out of the bathroom with your hair up in your bonnet and the tiniest little tank top he’d ever seen. It was a matching pajama set, one Hen had gotten you for Christmas in an accidental size too small, but you wore it regardless. 

It was a white set with little red hearts all over it and the softest, most comfy pajamas you’d ever owned. There was just one issue that you weren’t exactly aware of yet. 

Buck liked his apartment cold. 

You toss your bag down by the couch and step over Eddie’s legs to wiggle yourself in between them like you did every week. 

“Thanks for waiting!” You put a blanket over your lap and turn your body just slightly into Buck’s. “Are you guys ready?” 

He tries so damn hard not to stare down your top because at this angle he can see right down it. Not to mention it was white, and your pretty skin was very much so not white. Which meant another part of you was darker… a part that most definitely showed through the thin fabric of your tank top. 

“Yeah, we’re ready.” 

How the fuck is Eddie so nonchalant about this. He just sits back on the couch again and hits play. Buck, on the other hand, is sweating bullets and fighting not to stare at your pert nipples. You have a whole ass blanket and don’t want to cover up your chest, not that you need to or that he even wants you to but man would it be nice to breathe again. 

Eddie’s phone starts ringing about 10 minutes into the movie, and you groan and shove at him.

“You know the rules! No phones!” 

“Yeah, no phones! Loser.” 

Buck has finally settled down somewhat, he’s even begun to enjoy you snuggled into his side with your legs across Eddie’s lap.

“I have a kid. Those rules down apply to me.” 

You pause the movie, and he walks off to answer Carla’s call. When he comes back with a sour face, you both sit up quickly.

“Is everything okay?” Buck asks, and Eddie sighs.

“Eh, Chris is having kind of a bad night, and since I’m just hanging with friends and not doing something important, not that you two aren’t important!”

“It would be better if you went home.” You finish for him, and he rubs the back of his head.

“Yeah, I need to be there for him. Are you guys cool if I duck out?” 

No. No, absolutely not. We are not cool.

“Of course, man, you have priorities”, Buck answers smoothly, but Eddie can see the internal panic flowing through his body. He grabs his duffle from the floor and nods at Buck. 

“Walk me out?” 

As soon as the front door closes, Eddie seems to mellow out.

“I’m so sorry, man. I know how nervous you get with her.” 

“It’s okay, Eddie, really. We all love Chris, and if he needs you, he needs you. My petty problems aren’t anywhere near as important as that kid.”

“Buck, you are important to me. You both are, and I’m thrilled you can understand what’s happening. But don’t diminish your problems, you know? To you… being alone with her all night is the worst-case scenario for you.”

“I- I wouldn’t say worst case.” He tosses the bag in the back seat for Eddie while he climbs into the driver's seat.

“Probably best case, really. It’s how all my dirty fantasies start off anyway.” 

Eddie snorts and puts the window down to look at Buck.

“Be yourself. Be the best you that you can be, and it’s gonna be okay. You can text me all you want.” 

“What if I light her hair on fire?”

“There’s a fire extinguisher on the wall and another in the kitchen cabinet under the sink.” 

Buck watches him leave with a little wave. He watches until he can’t see Eddie’s truck anymore, and then he heads back inside. 

The apartment is so quiet when he gets back. Not that it should be a wild party… but he thought you’d at least play the movie. He comes around the counter, and you’re sitting in front of the oven, staring intently.

“Hey?” 

“Oh! You’re back!” You look up at him, and every single movement seems to shake your breasts, and he has to fight to look into your eyes. You look back into the oven intensely, and he leans against the counter. 

“Do I even want to know?”

“I’m making s’mores. And the second I look away, I swear to god they’re gonna burn.” 

You pat the floor next to you, and he eases down and rests his back against the island. He’s watching the oven with you in surprisingly not awkward silence when his eyes begin to wander. 

Everything about you was so curvy and perfect. He liked the way you filled out those pajamas, and he liked the way they rode down with how you were sitting. 

Yup, he could stare at you for hours. 

He looks back at the oven door, and you’re staring at him. He lets his head fall back against the island with a thud, and you snort and smack your hand over your mouth.

“Were you just checking out my ass?” 

He groans loudly and slumps over on his side, and you start giggling and slapping his thigh. 

“You were!!”

“Watch your damn s’mores!”

“Oh, I’ll watch them, alright.” 

You get on your hands and knees and wiggle your hips in his face. You spread your knees and arch your back while scooting a little closer to the oven.

“I think they’re almost done!” 

“I have to use the bathroom.” Buck scrambles from the floor and runs to the bathroom, and you crumple into a little pile on the floor, laughing at him. 

It turns out the most embarrassing thing in the world to happen to him is also one of the best. Because now things are a lot easier with you, your teasing doesn’t fluster him as much, and he can actually joke with you. 

“You know, you’re actually pretty comfy.” You look up at him, and he blushes and puts his arm around your waist. 

“I try.” 

You pull your knees up closer and lean into him fully, with your head resting on his chest, and he hesitantly leans forward before kissing your hair.

Like friends do! 

You look up at him, kiss his jaw with a sultry little smile, and go back to the movie. 

Okay, what the hell was that response? And why did it make him want to jump your bones immediately? 

You finish the Transformers movie, destroy the s’mores, and move on to Cinderella next. Buck had never seen the third one, and you nearly had an aneurysm when he told you. 

“Are you kidding?! It’s amazing.” You shook his shoulders, and he rolled his eyes and yanked you across his lap. 

See? It was easier! 

He gave your butt a whack and you rolled off of him dying with laughter. Oh, if only Eddie could see him now. It was all a joke to you… but the way your ass rippled nearly had him busting from his pants. 

He didn’t expect you to get right back up and tackle him back onto the couch or for you two to start fighting. You’re laughing, and he’s laughing, and he’s not even thinking about your body pressed to his or the way you sound breathless when he knocks you onto the couch and he’s panting over you and you’re staring into each other's eyes.

Nooo, he’s not thinking about any of that. 

“Fine god! We can watch it!” Buck gets off you and pulls you close to him again. He can still feel your short breaths against his body, and he has to think about Bobby in the shower just to calm down. You reach over, grab the remote from the table, and get comfy up against him again. 

“It’s funny you think you even had a choice.” 

Halfway through the movie, Buck is absolutely enamored. He’s traded you for a pillow, and he’s hugging it tightly. He’s not sure when that happened because when he looks down to ask you to pause the movie, your eyes aren’t even open. He reaches over and takes the remote from your lap and hits pause, trying his hardest not to wake you. He’d stay like that all night if you wanted. 

You start to stir a little anyway, and your eyes flutter open. You look at the screen and then at him and sigh.

“What time is it?” 

He feels that loss of warmth as you get up to stretch but ignores it to lift his wrist to check his watch lazily.

“Uhh, 2:45.” 

“Oh!” You stumble a little sleepily to collect your blanket from the floor, and he grabs your arm to keep you steady 

“You wanna turn in? I think I blacked out for like the last half hour.” 

“Yeah, probably. this movie deserves your full attention.” You lean against him when he stands up, and his heart skips a beat. He awkwardly puts his arms around you before settling them, and you put your chin on his chest.

“Hurry up so I can make up my bed and pass out already.”

“Make up your bed?” 

“Yeah.” You gesture to the couch, and he scoffs. 

“I think we can share a bed Y/N. I’m not gonna put you on the couch. Hell, you can even have my bed, and I’ll take the couch.”

“I’m not kicking you out of your own bed. If you don’t mind sharing, I’m up for it!” 

He takes your duffel bag from the floor, and you follow him up the stairs. He tosses it down next to his bed and yanks the covers back before flopping down on one side.

It’s a little embarrassing the way he bites his lip when you crawl up the bed, and he hopes you didn’t notice. You don’t say anything as you get under the covers and pull them up around you, though, so he thinks he’s safe. 

“Nighty night, Buck.” You yawn and scoot your body just a little closer to his, and he looks over at you.

“Night Y/N” 

An hour later, and Buck is starting to think this was the dumbest thing he’d ever suggested in his life. 

Every time his eyes wander to your sleeping form, he yanks them right back. He was able to ignore your shirt situation when there was a movie to watch; hell, he’d even forgotten about it! But now, in the moonlight and the quietness of the middle of the night?… He can see perfectly through your shirt. 

He didn’t even realize he was staring at first until you stirred a little, and he snapped his eyes shut. You’d gotten hot at some point and shoved the covers down a bit, and now he had the most perfect view of your chest. Your nipples pebbled under the cool air of his apartment, and they stick out of the tight fabric of your shirt so clearly. He can even make out the gorgeous dark circles surrounding them. 

And he just knows they’d fit so nicely in his mouth. He can just see it now, rolling his tongue over those cute little nubs and sucking until you’re a whining mess underneath him. 

Oh, that would be the dream. 

You stir again and roll over onto your back, and Buck rolls onto his other side to stare at the wall. This was going to be a long night. 

At some point, he must have finally dozed off because he woke up exhausted. He didn’t get much sleep, which wasn’t really a surprise, but the sleep he did get was good. Solely because of the dreams. Maybe it was because you were so close or maybe because he was just happy you were there; either way, he isn’t mad, he’s exhausted.

He stretches out and lazily rolls over to wake you up, and he freezes in place, with his arms still up and everything. 

He blinks and slowly lets his arms fall, and he’s not sure if he’s losing his mind or if he’s actually seeing what he’s seeing. 

You’re laid on your side, sleeping peacefully and snoring softly-

And one of your boobs popped out of your tank top. 

It’s like someone just hates him. Someone is just messing with him at this point, and he doesn’t even know why. He’s a good guy! He pays his taxes! He donates to humane societies. 

He doesn’t even notice your eyes have opened or that you’re staring right at him with that soft, sleepy expression. He doesn’t notice the warmth blooming between your thighs, and he doesn’t notice you lick your lips when your eyes flick down to the aching tent in his pants. 

It’s not until he rolls his eyes at himself and finally looks up at you that he turns into a whole-ass tomato. He just stares like a deer caught in the headlights, and you look right back at him. 

Because teehee he was caught before looking at your ass, but this? There is nothing subtle about the way his mouth is watering… and there’s certainly nothing subtle about the way you wag your finger at him, and he pounces. 

He pushes you on your back and latches onto your breast immediately. His eyes roll back in his head as he captures that little nub between his lips and swirls his tongue around it, enjoying the way it grows into a hard peak. He bites down gently, just enough to send a jolt of pleasure down your spine. 

“O-oh god, Buck,” You moan softly and bury your head in the pillows. He groans around your nipple and looks up at you, watching you pant softly. He’d been dying to see you like that for ages, and every image he dreamed up was never as good as this was. None of the filthy, depraved dreams he had about you came close to how good you really looked. 

He settles down between your legs, and you can feel him. Your hips start to move against his, begging for friction, and he gives it to you so easily. He reaches down and pushes his boxers messily around his thighs and drags his cock against your panties.

“Do you want this as much as I do?”

He seems a little hesitant when he looks down at you like he’s not literally rubbing his cock on you. You cup his cheek and reach down, moving your panties to the side and biting your lip.

“This answer your question?” You guide his cock between your folds, smearing the tip through your wetness. You sigh together and Buck takes over for you, rubbing his cock against your clit. 

“I don’t think I can be gentle.” 

He’s straining to control himself. The tip keeps getting caught at your hole, and now he’s just lightly pushing the tip in and out, testing just how wet you are for him and if he needs that bottle of lube in his top drawer. 

“I don’t want you to be.” 

Your back arches, pushing your tits forward purposely and he’s putty in your hands. He wraps his hands around them and squeezes them together. He buries his face between your tits and you laugh and run your fingers through his hair and tug.

“You’re being ridiculous,” You tell him and he scoffs and sucks your nipples into his mouth, rolling his tongue over them and biting down. You gasp, making your hips grind down on his cock and he slips inside you. 

He groans loudly and lets go of your breasts and instead holds your hips. The way you clench around him almost sends him to an early freaking grave. He lets his head fall forward, letting out a puff of air, and slowly thrusts into you. You wrap one arm around his neck and splay the other across his back to pull him toward you.

“That’s my girl” He pants in your ear, watching your face contort in pleasure “Take my cock bunny”

You arch your back further into his chest, and he hooks his arm under you. It feels like he’s splitting you in half with the way he pounds into you, chasing a high that you’ve both been craving for too long.

“I’ve dreamt about this so many times.” He nips at your neck, leaving little marks in his wake. 

“Imagining what you’d sound like falling apart on my cock” He accentuates his words with a sharp thrust and you moan his name, your nails digging into his back and spurring him on 

“Gonna fuck this pretty little pussy until you’re screaming my name. I want my neighbors to know who you belong to.”

You whack his chest with a squeak, and he laughs into your shoulder 

“Buck! That’s emba-“

You yelp when he pulls out and easily flips you over onto your stomach. He thrusts back into you with one smooth stroke and leans over you, making you moan at the angle he’s stretching you. 

His hands grip you so tightly that he knows he’s leaving bruises, but he doesn’t care. He needs to mark you, remind you who you finally belong to, and you take every mark he leaves, eagerly leaving a few of your own. 

“Thats it bunny, cum on my cock. Please, please, I need to feel you come undone.” The way his voice cracks sends another wave of pleasure crashing over your body, and you’re seeing stars. He reaches around your hips and the second his fingers find your clit you feel your body explode. 

You shriek his name, raising your hips to meet each of his erratic thrusts that become more and more messy the closer he is to cumming inside you, the closer he is to breeding you to the brim and claiming you. 

He flips you over with his cock still buried deep inside you and swallows your broken moans. He crashes his lips to yours, and he lets out a strangled groan. He hardly gets three more strokes before he empties himself inside you. He pushes his cock in as hard as he can, splitting you open on him and you sob his name, your nails leaving angry red lines on his chest. 

He collapses on top of you, panting wildly and crushing your body with his. You gingerly wrap your arms around his neck, more like awkwardly letting them hang there, and he buries his face into your shoulder.

“Jesus Christ,” He mutters in your ear, and you nod, wordlessly agreeing with him. 

He pulls back a little to look at you and smiles, nuzzling your nose with his. You blink blearily at him with a blissed-out smile on your face and peck his lips.

“I can’t feel my body.”

“Is that my fault? Or the sex.” 

“I’m pretty sure both those things are your fault.” You poke his nose, and he nips at your finger, making you giggle. 

“Do you want me to get off?” 

“Not yet.” 

He cuddles into you, keeping you there and blissfully falling asleep to the sound of your heart beating. 

Buck wakes up alone. Which is super weird considering he thought you were there. Maybe it had been some elaborate sex dream. He rolls out of bed, still naked,  and walks downstairs to go see if there’s any evidence of you actually having been at his place. 

Coming down the stairs, he sees you sitting at the island in one of his T-shirts. 

Ohhoho, so it was very much so not a dream. 

“Hello, Gor-“

He freezes in his tracks, and his jaw drops. Eddie is sitting on the chair next to you and spins around.

“Good morn- Jesus- Buck!! Put some clothes on! What the hell?!” Eddie slaps his hands over his face, and you burst out laughing. 

“What are you doing here?!” Buck slaps his hands over his dick and runs around the corner.

“I just came to see if you guys fucked or not! Dude! Why would you come down here without clothes?”

“You came to what?! And it’s my house! If I wanna be naked, I’m gonna be naked!!!” 

“Can you-“ Eddie takes his shirt off and throws it somewhere, and Buck runs over and takes it. He pulls it on over his head and ties one of his jackets around his waist. He stomps over to the other side of the island and crosses his arms.

“I’m dressed…ish.” 

Eddie lets his hands slide down his face and glares at Buck. You’re just wiping the tears from your eyes and trying to keep yourself up on the chair without toppling over.

“Why are you here?” Buck narrows his eyes and turns to get a cup of coffee.

“Jesus-“ Eddie looks away from the eyeful of Buck’s ass and glares at you while you openly stare at it.

“I came to see if you two slept together.”

“Yeah, he lied,” You chime in, taking a sip of your iced coffee, and Buck spins around, hissing when a drop falls on his skin.

“You what?!” 

“Chris was at a sleepover! He had a nice night with Marisol… He left to try and give us time together alone.”

“Eddie! How dare you!! It was movie night!!” 

“That’s what she said.”

“That’s what I said!!!” You throw your hands in the air, and Buck flicks the coffee creamer lid at Eddie. 

“Well, it worked, didn’t it!” Eddie picks it up and throws it back at him. Buck snatches it from the floor and slaps it back onto the bottle.

“Maybe…”

“Uh-huh, that’s what I freaking thought. God, I’ve been waiting months for you two idiots to just get together!” 

“Well, we did.” You shrug around a bite of muffin. “Oh boy, did we get togethe.r” 

“My favorite part was cupping you to keep it all in.”

Eddie nearly loses his breakfast. 

And just like any other fairy tale, no matter how real or imaginary, they all lived happily ever after. 

[erodasfishtacos]

Digging A Deeper Hole || MLB ||

Prompt: Harry is going through a rough adjustment to his new life. At twenty-one, he was the face of a massive franchise, a father, and a husband with millions watching his every mood. He starts to feel it. Word Count: 7.8k Warnings: Depression, Anxiety, Angst - please keep in mind H is young here so he’s a bit more immature than one shots where he’s older. He’s still figuring stuff out

AUTHORS NOTES:

There is 5 more part to this up on patreon (17k words, a 25.1k fic overall)

I upload a piece of writing every 1-3 days (usually two) consistently// currently updating abo!roommates

All writings are accurately and always added to the organized folders in the collections feature

There are currently 300 + pieces available to read

It only cost $3USD —— thanks for any support and check me out here!

========================= Harry had the weight on the world on his shoulders.

The past year had been the best but most stressful time that he has ever had in his life.

He hadn’t had a break, it was go, go, go.

At the age of twenty-one, it felt like he had responsibilities that most people never had this amount of.

He had expectations from every side, especially from work, though it sounded like a dream to be the new face of Major League Baseball, to be the highest paid rookie to start, or the fact that he was a projected to be one of the best players of all time.

It came at a cost.

A really fucking big cost.

It took Harry a while to realize that he was experiencing some depression, the pressure of his coaches, the team, the public, and on top of that, he was navigating being newly married with a baby.

++

”Styles, get off the phone!” His assistant coach shouted from the field, he should be jogging onto the mound because practice was nearly over, and everyone was ready to head back to the hotels.

“Hold the fuck on!” Harry shouts back without looking up, waiting for the FaceTime call to connect, he had thought he had more time before they started up again.

Harry’s heart leaps when it connects, his perfect baby in the camera view, blowing raspberries between chewing on teether that looked like car keys, “Say ‘hi’ to your daddy!”

Easton is too little to quite comprehend the phone but he blinks in confusion at the screen before blowing another wet raspberry towards his father.

”Hi East, look at how handsome you look,” Harry croons, trying to memorize every little feature because he’s only going to be this small for a little while, “Your daddy misses you so much.”

YN pulls the phone to her face for a moment, “I took him on a walk around Central Park earlier today and he saw a group of pigeons. He squealed so loudly that they all flew away in a flock and he started giggling. I wish I would have gotten it on video.”

”He really does love the pigeons-“ Harry begins but is cut off.

”Styles, final warning. Get off your phone or I’m locking it up! Now,” The other coach yells, starting to actually get pissed, and Harry has to resist the urge to flip them off.

”H,” YN says knowingly, it was pretty common that he was getting yelled at, “Go practice.”

“I want to be home with you,” Harry frowns, he truly means it.

”I know,” YN agrees with kind understanding on her face, “Go kick some ass for us.”

++

He didn’t get to spend the time he wanted at home with his family, the away games caused him to panic, and he was starting to have anxiety attacks as he steps onto the private jet.

Harry was blowing YN’s phone up at any free moment he got, asking to FaceTime to see her and Easton, and YN had noticed how much more he was asking for reassurance, it was frequent.

++

”He’s sleepy. He just fed for almost an hour,” YN murmurs, tired herself and her eyes were heavy, it was undeniable that she had a lot on her plate with taking care of Easton by herself.

YN did see Anne once or twice a week but she was adamant that she did not need help raising her own baby, that she was fully capable of taking care of Easton by herself when Harry wasn’t home.

Easton was ten-months at this point, splayed on his mother’s chest with a milk-drunk little smile as he laid his small fist on her neck, easily starting to drift to sleep.

Harry feels a pang of disgusting, gnarly guilt and disappointment that he’s not there to lay in bed with them, and he felt like a piece of shit for sitting in this swanky hotel room by himself.

”Harry?” YN asks after he doesn’t respond, he was just watching the screen as his wife ran her fingers through Easton’s soft baby curls, silky smooth.

Harry swallows harshly to avoid the tears prickling, “I love you so much. You know that?”

YN smiles at him, soft and warm, “We love you so much. We miss you and cannot wait for you to get home. We both want so many cuddles with you.”

Harry’s jaw clenches, scrunching his nose, and feel the pit in his stomach get deeper, darker, rawer, and it felt overwhelming as he sat alone with his family on the other side of the country.

It felt suffocating that he wanted to go home but he couldn’t because he had a contract, a job, he had to provide, and he worked his whole life to be where he’s at.

He’s in a position that billions would want to be in but all he can think about is being with his family, he would give up everything he’d ever accomplished to cuddle with them every night.

But he couldn’t, deep down, he knew that it was his emotions getting the best of him, and it’s disappointing that he’s not enjoying baseball like he thought he would right now.

“I…I’m sorry,” Harry sniffles, rubbing his eye roughly to catch the tears before they fall any further.

YN’s smile falls which makes him feel even worse, “Baby, what’s wrong? Why are you apologizing?”

”I’m not there to help you,” Harry presses his face into his forearm to try to stop the tears, “I’m just sittin’ here in a hotel room, I’m fuckin’ useless to you.”

”Hey,” YN says firmly, lips going into a straight line, “Harry, you are not useless. How could you think that? You’re providing for us. You make it possible for me to stay at home, in this beautiful home, with everything we’d ever need, and spend every moment with Easton. That’s because of you.”

It makes Harry feel a bit better, that perspective on the situation because he hadn’t looked at it like that, “I’ll always provide for you two.”

”You’re the best provider. We love you so much. We are so proud of you. Easton is going to be so so proud of his daddy and what a good man you are to us,” YN tells him confidently, thter’s no wavering in her voice as she watches Harry’s reaction.

Harry hangs his head, done trying to stop the tears, he didn’t feel good.

He had felt depression a few times in his life, the most when he was going through his struggles with his sexuality, and it was starting to feel like that again.

”Harry,” YN’s voice is soft, careful, “Are you okay, baby? What made you so upset?”

Harry wipes his face with the back of his hand, he didn’t want to worry YN.

She had so much on her plate right now that the last thing she needed to worry about was his mental health because he needed to pull it together and stop being so emotional.

”I just miss you,” Harry tells her, it wasn’t a lie but it really wasn’t the full truth, there was so much more to it than what he was letting on but he could handle it on his own.

Lord knows he had enough time while he was sitting in this hotel room alone or had a flight on the private jet.

++

Harry felt like a car ran him over, twice, and then backed up over him.

He did as good as everyone expected him to do during the games in San Diego, he won all three of the games with too many strikeouts to count, and two home runs to get them scores.

Harry was able to shut his mind off during the games, all he was thinking about was his job, and what he needed to do to make sure that they won the games - that was it.

Afterwards, the creeping feelings that had been haunting him especially hard this past month or so wouldn’t wait very long to pop up again after the games.

He started demanding a flight home the night of the last game, everyone else always waited until the next day because traveling right after playing was near torture with the exhaustion.

Harry felt like death as he landed in New York City, his bones were heavy as if they weighed a thousand pounds each, his arm was sore from how many pitches he had to throw, and he hadn’t been sleeping well when he was away from YN and the baby.

His heart was a bit lighter as he opened the front door to their home, the smell of his favorite brownies hitting his nose, and a peel of bubbly, angelic baby giggles echoed through the hallway.

Harry needed to see them, he dropped his bag and didn’t care that his cologne bottle most likely just shattered inside because of how careless he was being.

No, he was making his way toward the smell and sounds, and when he found what he waas looking for - his stomach untwisted just the slightest and everything didn’t seem so bleak for a moment.

YN turns around, having been alerted to his entrance by his bag dropping, Easton was on her hip and had a spatula in his hand, gnawing on it happily.

”Who is that, East?” YN bounces him up and down, “Is that your daddy?”

Harry wants to cry tears of relief when Easton drops the spatula, letting it clatter onto the tile, and starts to cry.

He was the cutest little thing.

Whenever Harry got home from work, Easton would start to cry because he wanted him, and was sad like he just realized that he had been missing him all day and he was finally home with him.

”Oh my goodness,” YN hums as Easton wiggles, starting to reach out for him with grabbing hands, dramatic tears running down his face as his pouty bottom lip wobbles.

”No tears, bub,” Harry coos as he steps forward, taking Easton out of her arms, and giving him the biggest hug he can manage as he presses kisses to the side of his face, his hair, his nose, “I missed you so much. I hate being away from you, East, miss you every moment.”

YN is watching with a content smile, patiently waiting her turn as he blinks over at her, his voice still soft and raspy, “Hi mama.”

”Hi H,” YN whispers back, stepping forward to cup his jaw and bring their lips together in a kiss, her thumb rubbing the stubble of his jawline and her other squeezing his hip, “I missed you.”

Harry hates that he feels the lump in his throat, “I fuckin’ missed you so much. I can’t explain how much I hate being away from you and him. I am so grateful that you’re so good to me and East. You know that?”

One of YN’s love languages was definitely words of affirmation so to hear such nice compliments really did mean a lot to her because she didn’t always feel the most secure either.

It was a lot to have her husband traveling all the time, where if he wanted, there would be unlimited opportunities for him to make bad choices because there was not a shortage of men and women who would bed him without a second thought.

YN had complete and utter trust in him.

It wasn’t ever a real concern but when Harry was as gorgeous as he was, it was hard not to feel a bit of insecurity when people often let it be known how much they found him attractive.

”Thank you, H,” YN brings him in for another kiss, “Dinner is almost ready. Brownies are also baking in the oven. Easton was my little helper but was trying to get his chunky fingers in the raw batter which he had an attitude about when I told him ‘no’.”

”You better listen to your mama,” Harry hums at his son, munching at his neck until Easton is giggling and pulling at his curls to keep him close, he loved his father so much, “Be nice to mama, Easton Robin.”

YN reaches forward, “Go get a shower. Settle in a little bit.”

Harry passes Easton back but frowns, “Darling, I can take him and manage. You have had him for the last week.”

YN waves him off, “I got him for a few minutes longer. Get showered, dressed, then we can eat dinner, and cuddle. Okay?”

”Sounds like a dream,” Harry replies because it really does, all that he wants is to be able to hold them in his arms, and start filling this hole that starts to eat away at him every time he has to leave.`

++

After Harry showers, he tugs on his briefs, and sits on the edge of the bed.

He doesn’t know how he fell asleep like that but it seemed to happen nearly as soon as he plopped down on the plush of their bed because he hadn’t slept in nearly twenty-four hours, after an exhausting game and seven hours of travel.

The next time he wakes up, it’s completely dark in the bedroom, and he blinks his eyes open to see the alarm clock reading that it was three in the morning.

YN was fast asleep on her side of the bed, baby monitor on the side table, and Easton was sleeping in his nursery on his back with a binky halfway out of his mouth.

Harry squeezes his eyes shut, putting his fists to them for a moment as he grits his teeth, “Fuck fuck fuck.”

He gets out of bed, not wanting to disturb YN, she looked so fucking pretty while she slept and Harry was in disbelief of what a fucking idiot he was.

YN not only watched Easton for the past week, she managed everything else for their household, made Harry dinner and dessert, all for him to fall asleep.

She needs a break from the baby, YN should have gotten one last night after all her hard work, and Harry just went and fell asleep like a bloody teenager with no responsibilities.

He grabs the baby monitor so that YN won’t be woken up, hoping that she will sleep in for as long as possible in the morning, and Harry can take on baby duties.

Harry’s plan was to clean the house, the least he could do as an apology but everything was near spotless thanks to his wife, and when he went into the kitchen to clean the dishes from dinner.

There were none, YN had put all the leftovers away, wrapped the brownies, and cleaned all the pots and pans - as well as all of Easton’s bottles.

”Fuck me,” Harry grunts as he resists the urge to hit something, instead slamming his fists on the countertop, and staring at nothing as he feels the deep hole become bigger, “Such a fuck-up.”

Harry doesn’t even know what he can do to repay her, to make it up to her, and the mixture of his anxiety and depression had to be the gnarliest combination because they were kicking his ass.

His anxiety starts taking over and an intrusive thought starts to pop into his brain and he can’t shake it.

What if she leaves you?

What if she doesn’t think you’re a good enough father?

She does all this for you and you treat her like shit the moment you come home?

You don’t deserve her.

Harry’s throat tightens up, it feels hard to breathe for a few minutes as he tries taking slow, deep inhales before repeating the process to help try to regulate his breathing.

He had to make this up to her.

++

Harry manages Easton by himself, that wasn’t an issue, and he was even able to run out to grab YN’s favorite donuts from a few blocks down before she was up.

Harry was currently in the living room, laying on the floor with Easton as he played with these soft, big blocks, and smiled at his father with only two little teeth showing on his bottom gums.

”Morning, well afternoon,” YN laughs as she looks at the clock on the wall, it was nearly twelve and she was able to catch up on all the sleep she desperately needs, “You didn’t need to let me sleep for that long, H. I appreciate it though, felt super nice to be able to get re-energized.”

”It’s the least I could do,” Harry replies, the enthusiasm that was usually in his voice was missing, and he struggled to meet her eye because he was embarassed.

YN knows something is off as she sits down next to them, scooping Easton up and tucking him under her big shirt where he can excitedly start to nurse - he very begrudgingly used a bottle but it was always a bit more difficult to get him to eat with one.

”Are you sure you’re okay?” YN frowns as she rubs his knee, “You seem down. Did something happen?”

”I’m a piece of shit,” Harry chuckles without humor, throwing his hands up, “Isn’t it obvious? I leave you at home with the baby and then the minute I get home, I fall asleep and don’t do shit to help you. On top of that, you made dinner and I didn’t even eat it.”

YN’s frown turns into more of a scowl, “Harry, what has you talking like this? Did someone say something to you? I don’t like when you talk like that. You were exhausted! You were just away for a week, training and playing, and have so much other than that going on. Do you really think that I’m mad about that?”

“I’m mad about how I acted because it effects you,” Harry grits back, his anxiety and depression had a tendency to make him cranky in a way that he normally wouldn’t be, “It’s no excuse. You get no excuses. I need to do better.”

”You need to stop talking like that,” YN retorts as she stares back at him with a twitch of her brow, “Everything is fine. We are fine. Nothing is wrong. This is how our life looks sometimes and that’s okay. You are doing this to take care of us.”

“It feels pretty fuckin’ selfish right now,” Harry shakes his head, standing up and trying to hide the wince from how achey his muscles were, he should do a cold plunge but he’s not going to take anymore time for himself - he dosn’t deserve it.

“How is it selfish?” YN is getting frustrated, her leg shaking slightly but then she stops when she realizes that it’s jostling Easton and he whines in displeasure.

”I get to get a full night’s sleep in a luxury hotel room, you’re here.”

YN scoffs, licking over her teeth, “Yeah, Harry. It’s a massive hardship, living in a three million dollar home in the middle of the Upper East Side. I think I’ll survive.”

“That’s not the fuckin’ point,” Harry cracks his neck, his anxiety made his heart rate feel like he was constantly running a marathon, it was hard for him to keep his composure.

”Don’t talk to me like that,” YN raises her voice, moving to get up with Easton still suckling away, “This isn’t how you show appreciation, Harry. I’m just trying to have a conversation and you have an attitude.”

Harry knows that he’s just going to continue to dig himself a deeper pit than he’s already in if he keeps talking.

Most of the time, he did not feel like like a twenty-one year old despite his boyish looks but right now, he felt like he was acting his age and it wasn’t a good thing.

”Why don’t you take Easton and see your mom today,” YN offers, her voice is still tight but trying to keep it cordial as she brings Easton out from under her shirt.

He was blinking languidly, his lips smacking in satisfaction as his belly was full, and YN hands him over to Harry to take, “Yeah, I’ll get him ready and go.”

It was a good opportunity to give YN a break but he was honestly a bit surprised that she took him up on it or that she didn’t want to come with because when Harry came home, they tried to stay together as much as possible.

He does know that he’s acting like a complete dickhead which makes sense why she wasn’t dying to spend time with him right night, still it was just odd because it’s unlike her.

”Sounds good,” YN pulls out her phone, looking down and fingers flitting across the screen which was also a bit odd, how she was a distracted by it because it was unlike her just like her letting him go alone.

God, Harry was making a fucking mess, wasn’t he? +++++++++++++++++

It stuck out like a sore thumb when Harry was off.

Normally, he was the most easy-going, bubbly, funny person who stole most of the attention when he wasn’t even trying.

It was how he captured everyone’s interest whether it was his big grin that had his dimples showing deep in the pockets of his cheeks, the way he threw his head back and let out these low raspy chuckles, or just how he nodded attentively when someone else was talking.

So when he wasn’t feeling like himself, all those things that lit up rooms disappeared, and it was hard for him to socialize.

Harry was still beating himself up the entire ride outside of the city to his mother’s house, Easton was napping in the back and this would be a nice sleep before the excitement of Nana’s house.

Harry was replaying everything with YN, from the way he was sharp with her to get short with her when she did absolutely nothing to deserve that from him because she was so fucking good to him - all the time.

YN never complained about anything.

She never complained about being at home with the baby alone.

YN never tied to guilt Harry because he was away during the season so much.

It makes it so much worse that he’s not able to hold his shit together even just for YN, he didn’t want her to worry about his mental health, that’s the last thing she needed on her plate.

He was going to figure this out himself.

It wasn’t that he didn’t feel like he couldn’t talk to her, it was more that he knew she cares so much that it might upset her or make her worry when he’s on the road, all he wants for her is to focus on Easton and herself.

Harry normally loves going up to his mom’s, a little lake house that he had bought her with one of his first paychecks, despite how much she huffed and puffed, he knew that it was a dream of hers to live on the water.

It was the least he could do after she did so much to make his dreams come true.

However, despite Harry getting a decent amount of sleep, he felt bone tired and just drained was the best way to explain it - he felt like all the energy that he normally feels has been sucked clean out of him.

He wanted to turn the car around, go home, crawl into bed with YN and Easton, and not have to interact with anyone else for at least a week but that wasn’t possible with his schedule.

Harry should be enjoying his time right now.

They have an off week which meant that he had nearly two and a half weeks at home because the following week were games at their home stadium so he could be home every night.

Harry just couldn’t wait for this season to be over.

And that thought alone alarmed him because he fucking loved baseball, he loved being the best of the best, he loved all the recognition he got but right now his desire was lower than it’s been in a really long time.

When he pulls down the long driveway, a house sat back off the residential road where she had neighbors but there was a good amount of distance between the them to give privacy and seclusion.

He sees that there are multiple cars in the driveway which makes Harry groan because he didn’t realize that his mom was going to call over friends and family since he was coming to visit.

Anne did that sometimes, when Harry called saying that he’d be up, she would call aunts, uncles, relatives, and close friends to come for a barbecue, and it was the last thing he wanted right now.

He was already a bit peeved that his mother didn’t ask him first because he would have very clearly told her that he wasn’t in the mood to entertain people, to answer questions, and talk about baseball for a good five hours.

When Harry opens the back door, Easton’s already awake and smiling at his father with a gummy smile, his two bottom baby teeth made him look so adorable but he knew that more were going to popping through soon.

”Hi, sweetheart,” Harry hums softly as he unbuckles his baby, bringing him up into his arms and into a hug, kissing his temple, “I love you so much, you know that? M’only away so that you have everythin’ you’d ever want. Miss you every second-“

A smack comes heartily on his back, right on his throwing shoulder where the soreness is radiating like a motherfucker, and he has to grit his teeth to not curse and startle Easton.

”Buddy, how much did this ride cost ya?” His Uncle Chuck, his mom’s brother asks obnoxiously, “Saw these things were going for a hundred and some change?”

Harry takes a deep breath, his patience was wearing thin, and he had barely made it out of the car, “I don’t remember how much it cost.”

“That’s what being rich gets you, huh? Twenty-one with a fat bank account and no responsibilities. I would have loved to have a life like yours,” Chuck chortles as he leans up against said expensive SUV, beer in his hand.

“I have plenty of fuckin’ responsibilities,” Harry bites back, scolding himself for cursing in from of Easton, even if he was too young to understand, he tried not to make it a habit.

“Sure you do, bud,” His uncle laughs, clearly not catching onto Harry’s mood, “Last thing I’d want is a baby with everything that you have going on. Growing up too fast.”

“Luckily, it’s not your life,” Harry brushes him off, picking up Easton’s diaper bag on his free shoulder and hikes him up, “We’ll be in soon. Give us a minute.”

His uncle shrugs before staggering off, a drunken sway in his step as he stumbles back towards the house.

Harry buries his nose in Easton’s downy, fresh smelling wispy curls to steady his breathing, he feels a bit emotional as he talks to his son.

“M’sorry, East. Daddy doesn’t feel good right now,” Harry swallows hard, squeezing his eyes shut, “I just have to pull it together. God, I love you. My baby.”

Harry gives himself another minute of grounding before taking a deep exhale and shutting the door, walking towards the house.

Everyone was on the back patio, sipping on drinks, and cheering when they saw him.

Dread settles heavy in Harry’s stomach as his family members as they start asking him about his games, wanting to recap every play he’s made, his sponsorships and his much he’s getting paid.

Harry’s trying to keep up the conversation but all he can think about is how much he didn’t want to be there, and he should have just taken Easton to the park or something more low-key.

When he bumps into his mom in the kitchen, Anne is prepping a salad and smiles back at her son - unaware of his mood.

“Isn’t this fun, hun?” Anne asks happily, sprinkling in some spices as she hums.

“Why couldn’t it have just been us? I have to be around people all the time and I thought it was just going to be you. Now I have to entertain all of them,” Harry’s tone definitely takes her aback as she puts down the tongs she was using.

“Usually you love when everyone’s here, I don’t understand,” Anne’s smile drops, wiping her hands on the dishrag.

“Does anybody ever consider that I don’t love talking about baseball every second of the day or how much money is in my bank account?” Harry’s tone is venomous and resentful, unfairly harsh on his mom when she hadn’t tried to upset him.

“Harr-“ Anne begins to apologize, albeit, a bit confused.

“Easton’s almost ready for a nap,” He cuts her off as he checks his watch, it didn’t really matter what time it was, he was done.

“My bedroom-“

“No, I’m going home,” Harry shakes his head, turning on his heel. He has the decency to look back and say, “Sorry, mom. I just can’t be here.”

Easton was currently being held by his Aunt Jane, he was starting to fuss because he had a bottle not too long ago and he was starting to get cranky.

“Alright, we’re going to head out. East needs his nap,” Harry announces, hiking on the diaper bag, and starting to walk over.

“Oh, we barely see him! Just a few more minutes with this little one. You can hold off his nap for a little!” His Aunt Jane jokingly holds him tighter for a minute and nothing right now is funny to Harry.

Harry doesn’t get loud but his voice gets steely as he reaches down and scoops Easton up from her lap, “Don’t tell me how to take care of my baby, understood?”

His poor aunt is taken aback, just like his mom, and nods.

Harry storms out without another glance back, ignoring the whispers about how odd he was acting and rude.

When he straps Easton in, the dark bubble in belly subsides for a moment- like sun breaking through storm clouds.

“Daaa,” Easton coos, happy but tired, tucking his binky back between his lips.

“Good job, baby,” Harry sniffles, blinking up towards the sky to keep the tears away, “Fuck, get it together.”

Harry had to pepper at least ten kisses on Easton’s warm, sleepy face before he’s able to close the door and get in the driver’s seat.

Harry presses on the console touch screen, calling YN, and he frowns when it goes straight to voicemail which was very unlike her.

He tries again.

Voicemail.

He pulls out his phone, trying to check her location, and it hasn’t updated in the past hour - it was just unusual for her phone to die, always on standby but he tries not to worry.

YN was probably still very pissed off at him, if he was to bet, she put her phone on ‘do not disturb’ so that she could take a well deserved nap and not be bothered.

Harry squeezes the steering wheel, reminding himself once again, “Pull yourself together.”

But in the back of his mind, an anxious thought pops in, well multiple.

What is YN is leaving you?

What if she’s sick of not having you around as much as other wives have their husbands?

First time you see her in a week and you treat her like shit. You really think she’ll stay?

Harry has never once thought like that, even when they’ve gotten in serious fights but god damn, he couldn’t stop his mind from going a million miles a minute, and it felt like shit.

Nothing was wrong.

Everything felt like it’s crumbling.

[wlfchnlv3r]

Hello! I would love a hyunjin vampire story 😏 him being really dominant and threatening readers life but ends up being obsessed by her. Lots of biting and blood drinking would be great! 💕

Crave

vampire! Hyunjin x fem reader

Synopsis: in a word dominated by vampires, you are just a “little human” in the immortal life of Hyunjin

Word count:

Warnings: smut, kidnapping, blood, biting, foreplay, 🔞🔞, mdni.

Note: i liked writing about supernatural!stray kids so… get ready for more

3045

The world you live in is different from the one of your ancestors, the power is in the hand of vampires, and humans are not longer predators but prey.

With that, being kidnapped by a vampire was not in your 3045 bingo card, but there you are, the place is very dark, you can only see very little due to the few candles that give off some light.

• • •

You try hard not to cry, sitting on the floor of the room where you were carried.

You hear footsteps coming down the stairs and a few moments later the man from before, the one who kidnapped you, came into the room.

He looks at you for a few seconds and his gaze was rather cold.

Your eyes are now full of tears as you look up at him, is he here to kill you? Your mind is now racing with a million different scenarios.

The man slowly approaches you and kneel down, taking your chin and making you look up at him, "are you going to cry the whole time?”

“W-who are you?” you ask trembling.

"Don't ask questions" he says coldly and let go of your chin, standing up straight again.

He watched you for another moment before finally speaking again, "How old are you?".

“Y/age” you respond hoping that your young age let pity flow in him.

He raised an eyebrow, he didn't expect you to be so young, "That's a lot younger than I expected".

“What are you? Where am I- and…and please let me go…” you pray him pathetically.

"Did you even listen to me? I said no questions” he says coldly and approaches you before sitting on the chair, "And you won't be going home, not anytime soon".

Yes, that was your first memory of your kidnapper…a 300 years old vampire named Hyunjin, and yes, months have passed and you are still in his big mansion, like a prisoner.

Although you got used to him and his cold and scary behaviour, you feel like in captivity and especially you feel bored.

In the other hand, he was surprised that you got over your fear of him quickly and he even began to enjoy that you were always around him, and he would never admit that you somehow have a special place in his cold, stony heart.

• • •

One evening, you knock at his door, like usual.

Hyunjin looks up from his painting, put his brush down and crosses his arms "You can come in already, I know it's you".

“Such an ass”, you thought, and slowly enter the room, it was spacious, always tidy and with a king sized bed in the centre.

He was still sit with his chair now turned it around a little to be able to see you while he speaks "Did you want something or is it just because you're bored as always?".

You frown a little, “such an ass”, you thought for the second time in what? 5 minutes?, “yes…I’m a little bored” you admit.

Hyunjin chuckles quietly and let out a sigh, "I should have expected it, you're like a little puppy that's always seeking attention, aren't you?".

“I’m not a dog, Hyunjin.” You tell him for the millions time.

"But sometimes you act like one, constantly seeking my attention and always sticking to me." he leaned back on his chair and looked at you slightly from the side.

You decide to ignore him and take a look at his painting, a young girl with similar features to yours, but you immediately say to yourself that’s impossible.

The vampire watches you look at the painting, his eyes narrowing slightly, "What are you staring at that for? You like it or what?".

You nod, lost in the painting, “yes…just- who is she?”

Hyunjin looks at the painting for another moment himself, looking at the young girl, then he looks back at you, "It's- just some random girl I once saw in a dream..." he says, trying to hide the fact that the girl was you, but maybe he's not time for this conversation.

You look one last time at the girl, and take a step back walking to the king sized bed, “he changed the bedsheets” you thought to yourself, noticing the drastically change of color, not his usual dark shade of red but a candid white.

He watches you again as you approach the bed, “Planning on sitting in my bed? I don't remember I said you're allowed to do that"

“Such an ass” pt3, but you just pout, “can I?”

Hyunjin raises an eyebrow at your expression and he thought to himself 'adorable' but of course he wouldn't say that "Why should I let you sit on my bed, give me a good reason".

You look at him with confusion, “…I’m fresh of shower, not a dirty dog on the trash” you calmly explain.

He hums slightly and look you up and down for a few moments, noticing how you were wearing a crop-top and very short shorts, "Hm... okay you're clean and not a dirty dog...you can sit down"

You take place in the centre of the bed, making yourself comfortable.

Hyunjin has a perfect view on you from here, your legs slightly parted, "So..do you always wear such tiny and revealing clothes when you've just come out of the shower? I mean..it leaves almost nothing to the imagination..”

You look at him with a neutral expression “mh..? I though you find me horrible or something like that, so- there is no problem…”.

He crosses his arms over his chest and raise an eyebrow, your question confused him a little, "What makes you think that I find you horrible? I never said that".

“But you act like that… all the time” you are about to mention every single time he acted in a bad way with you but he just rolls his eyes, “Just because I don't show my emotions and feelings in a way that you humans do doesn't mean I think you look awful".

Hyunjin gets up from his chair and slowly approaches the bed, “I can even find you quite attractive at times..but you don't need to know that, it would just boost your ego even more..”.

“Oh now we are talking about ego? Yours is as big as this mansion”.

He now stands right in front of the bed, looking down on you and putting one of his hands on the sheets, right next to your thighs, "Well my ego is probably as big as this mansion, but I have every right to have a big ego, I'm a powerful and dangerous being after all..”

You lean down on the bed, your head resting on his pillow, “yeah, whatever”

Hyunjin watches your movements with a slight smirk, noticing how you lean back onto the bed, causing your shirt to slightly rise up, exposing even more of your skin.

He continues to look down at you, seeing you in this position under him made his thoughts go a little darker than usual.

Hyunjin has to use all of his self-control not to just lay down on top of you and bury his face in the crook of your neck to inhale your scent.

Your legs are still slightly parted like your lips, he’s never been this close to you and that frustrates you.

He take a step closer now, standing directly between your legs, he slowly ran his fingers across the soft skin of your upper thigh, the smirk on his face slowly becoming wider

he leans a little closer, his hand now on your hip, gently gripping it, “You're fully aware of the effect you have on me, aren't you? Especially when you're in such… compromising positions.."

You look at him with nonchalant in the eyes and notice the bloody colour of his pupils, “your eyes…are red”.

Hyunjin isn’t really surprises that you noticed his eyes changing color, but he didn't even bother to hide it, instead he continues to look into your eyes, "And what about it? Does it make me look scary?".

“I…think they are beautiful, Hyunjin” you just say sincerely.

He is a little surprised by your answer, he didn't expect you to think his eyes are beautiful, but he quickly smirked again, "Is that so? You like the color of my eyes, huh?“.

You nod and his hand slowly moved from your hip to your waist, then slowly moved further up, his fingers gently tracing over your soft skin, "You're so soft and small, your skin feels like velvet" he praises.

Hyunjin kneel down in front of you, his face now directly at the same level as your bare thighs, he continues to gently caress your skin with his fingers as he spoke, “Are you even aware of how much you affect me, you sweet little thing? You have no idea what I'm thinking about when I'm alone with you like this...".

Seeing him between your legs make you lost your control and also your mind.

He chuckles quietly as he looks up at you, noticing how your breath got heavier "Just from kneeling between your legs I can already tell how fast your heart is pounding, you're so easy to read, my little human" he leaned even closer, his face now dangerously close to your exposed thighs, he was so tempted to just bury his face in them and inhale your sweet scent, "You're practically giving me free access..would you let me do something if I asked you right now? I bet you would..".

“What..?” You try to play the innocent card but he smirked again and moves even closer, his eyes still locked with yours "Oh don't play coy with me..I think you know exactly what I'm implying right now".

You stay silent for a moment, your mind racing so fast, “y-yeah…I would let you do it.” you say with a whisper.

Hyunjin looks down, his eyes slowly moving from your face to your thighs, looking at the exposed skin, he wanted to do so many things to you now, but he holds back, trying to gain control over his thoughts and feelings.

He looks back up at you, his eyes now darker and a little lustful, "Do you know how pretty you look like this? Looking up at me, all small and fragile… delicious" he slowly runs his hand up your thigh, stopping right above where it meets your hips and squeezing the skin gently, "I could have such a good time with you right now, but you know what I'm especially tempted to do to you at the moment?..".

You shake your head but in your mind you know at least a hundred ways he can fuck you till you are crying.

Hyunjin looks into your eyes, his hand moving between your thighs, his fingers gently caressing the wet spot between your legs, "I really want to taste you" he says in a low, quiet voice.

You respond immediately without hesitation “do it…”.

He raises an eyebrow, slightly surprised by how quickly you gave in, but he wasn't mad at it, "Oh you're so eager, my little thing”

he moves between your legs, his face now only inches away from your covered pussy.

Hyunjin gently grabbed your thighs with both hands, pulling you closer to the edge of the bed, his face now right in front of the source of your scent, "Let me have a taste, sweet thing".

He smirked and slowly presses a kiss on your inner thigh, his lips brushing against your skin while he continues to look up at you, “So soft and smooth..".

Meanwhile you choke a moan, feeling his soft lips on you is too much.

Hyunjin looks up directly into your eyes, noticing how you looked at his fangs, "You like how they feel, don't you? You like having my fangs pressed against your skin? Do you like the feeling they could pierce your skin at any moment? …” he teases.

You are already shaking with anticipation and not able to pronounce a word, just a nod.

While a wide smirk is still on his face, he leans closer, “Good girl..I knew you would like it".

He slowly starts to kiss your inner thigh again, this time a little closer to where you want him to be most, his lips and fangs still gently caressing your skin, leaving little marks and hickeys.

You gasp loudly as he slowly rip your shorts, exposing your cunt to him.

Hyunjin looks up at you again, an amused smirk on his face as he pulls on the now torn fabric "Oh, I ruined your clothes, I forgot I can get a little impatient sometimes..I hope you don't mind".

You swallow, your heartbeat is going crazy.

He chuckles at your reaction, noticing how you swallowed, "There's no need to be nervous, I'll make sure you feel good, I promise" he slowly moves again, his face even closer now, looking up at you while his hands gripped your thighs tighter, his tongue start to lick your folds, focusing on your clit.

He hasn’t started yet but you already know that this will be the best foreplay of your life.

Hyunjin slowly licks his lips, your taste on them as he looks up at you again, the smirk still on his face, "Mhm- you taste so good, you know that?..I feel like I could eat you whole".

You choke a moan, nobody ever made you feel like this.

He smirks as he hears you gasp and moan, "You're making such sweet little noises..you have no idea how it makes my want to make you scream for me, make you moan my name and hear your sweet voice beg for more...".

Hyunjin starts to literally devour your pussy, worshipping every part of it, from your now swollen clit to your little hole and as you feel his tongue slipping inside of your hole, you arch your back and moan loudly.

He licks his lips again, your taste sending shivers down his spine, "i could get addicted to how good you taste, you're too tempting..".

Your brain was screaming one damn thing: “too much”, but your body wants more.

Hyunjin continues to use his tongue on you as you moan and whine at his touch, his hands holding your thighs in a tight grip and his nails gently digging into your skin, leaving behind small, red marks as he slowly loses himself in the taste of you, "I told you I could get addicted to how good you taste..I could spent hours down here, just like this, you're so perfect, so sweet and mine...all mine”.

As he nip at her inner thigh a little a few drops of blood paint your thigh, he continues to hold eye contact with you as he slowly licks the blood off you, his tongue gently tracing over the now slightly stinging patch of skin.

You instantly notice his eyes becoming of a deeper shade of red.

Hyunjin sees how you are looking at his eyes, after he finally got a taste of your blood, “It's your blood, the blood of the sweetest, most delightful human I've ever tasted... it just makes me want more".

You can’t think, all you want is his mouth on you, in every way possible, “bite me…”.

His eyes suddenly widen and he raises an eyebrow, "You want me to bite you, sweet thing? You want me to let go and pierce your beautiful skin with my fangs and drink some of your blood? Are you really sure about this?".

You can’t help but nod, as he starts to lick your inner thigh, he is still looking into your eyes, still a little surprised by how much you trust him not to go overboard and lose control of himself.

With a quick motion he gently holds your hips in place, "If it hurts too much or you don't feel good, tell me to stop, alright? Promise you'll do that."

“Yes… promise” you say starting to caress his hair, he never allowed you to get so close to him, even less passing your hand through his hair.

Hyunjin smiles slightly again, satisfied that you agree and don’t try to change your mind, he take one last glance at you before slowly moving his fangs to your skin and gently biting down; he pierces your skin, being careful to still being gentle enough to not hurt you too much.

You gasp a little, immediately feeling a warm, wet sensation from the blood.

He slowly starts to drink it, still keeping eye contact with you while the red liquid continues to flow out of the wound he has just made.

You tangle your fingers in his hair, slightly pulling them.

Hyunjin doesn't break eye contact either, his eyes locked with yours the entire time, the feeling of your blood on his tongue sending a rush of both arousal and pleasure through his body as he continues to drink the blood from the two small wounds in your skin, his hands still holding onto your hips, trying to control himself by holding onto you, not letting himself get lost in the sweet taste too much.

he slowly pulls away to look up at you, his eyes dark and his mouth still stained with your blood, he takes a moment to collect himself and wipe the blood off his mouth;

the taste of your blood is still present in his mouth, sending his senses into overdrive,

"You taste incredible, my sweet thing... I could spend hours just drinking your blood- it's so sweet and addictive, how do you taste this good?"

You don’t know what to say, you are speechless, lost on his beauty and in the desire to just kiss him.

He smirks before returning to lick your sensitive sensitive skin, your blood still on his tongue, but he didn't mind, he actually quite liked how his tongue was skilled and gentle, and he clearly knew exactly how to make you feel good, his lips and tongue moving with expert precision over your swollen clit.

Your moans filled the roam quickly and as his tongue moves with a little more speed and pressure your legs starts to shake before you come in his mouth.

Hyunjin smiles slightly when he felt your body shake and felt you come undone against his tongue, it was an incredible feeling to know that he was the one making you feel this good, he pulls away and wiped his mouth again before looking up at you, he loved seeing how good he made you feel and how much you enjoyed it.

You are probably a mess, trying to recover from your orgasm.

He looks down at you again, the sight of your skin still bleeding softly and the traces of your release on his tongue, staining his chin was an incredible view, one that only he gets to see, “Look at you, you're such a mess because of me, aren't you? All messy and bloody..all because of the way I touched you.. isn't that right, my sweet thing? Only I get to see you like this”.

You blush and look down between your legs “god- I messed up your sheets- I’m sorry…”

Hyunjin laugh at your concern for the sheets, finding it humorous that your mind was even thinking about something like that,

"Don't worry about the sheets, little one. I've seen them in a worse state than this, this is nothing compared to some of the other things that happened in here.. and besides, I wouldn't mind much anyway, especially if it's because of you”.

Your cheeks are even redder now, the way he laughs and the way he looks right now make you a little bolder than usuale, moving closer to him, caressing his cheek and placing a soft kiss on his lips.

He is surprised at first when you suddenly kiss him but he quickly reciprocates the kiss, pulling you closer to him and wrapping his arms around your body, gently grabbing your hips, he can still taste your blood on his tongue, and he gently pushes his tongue into your mouth, letting you taste yourself on him while kissing you before wispering, “you taste like mine”.

Taglist: @felixleftchickennugget @kiwininja35 @sweetpickledjins @slmnheart @elqivxstxr @catffeinexo-xx @multistancheck @justwonder113 @mylittleponeypinkrosieposie @hello-stranger24 @raptorbait529 @cocofia143 @minniesverse @eastjonowhere @sushiinmidnight @eastjonowhere

(Comment to be added to the master list🎐)

[yougavemeyourheartyouknow]

MINORS DNI! Mentions of sex but no smut.

Light begins creeping through the window blinds as the sun rises over the Nueva York’s skyline, conveniently hitting your face as you begin to stir awake. Still groggy from the lack of sleep, you barely registered the bulky arm that was laid over your bare waist. More focused on the fact your entire body was sore from head to toe, your hips mostly.

You were about to crawl out from the bed you were on when previously mentioned arm, tighten around you and pulled you back until your back collided against the naked and slightly sticky chest of your ex.

“Where do you think you're going, hmm?” When was the last time you heard Miguel voice that raspy? You didn’t know but it made butterflies appear nonetheless.

“It’s Friday, It’s my week with Gabi. I have to go pick her up from that sleepover and I don’t plan on going all sweaty. I need to go home and shower.” You finally break away from his hold to collect your clothes from their spot on the top of his drawer.

Your words seem to bring Miguel back down to reality of your situation after last night’s events. Just because you two had sex for the first time in years doesn’t automatically mean you were back together yet. You weren’t his girlfriend still, and despite swearing he saw the milky way behind his eyelids during the last round before he collapsed on top of you, he knew you weren’t going to want to rush into it again after you had caught Henry cheating, even if you and Miguel and you had so much history.

“You can shower here.” Miguel quipped as he slowly got up from the bed, making a mental note to change his sheets later. “I think I might have some of your old clothes lying around.”

You hesitated as you thought about it, usually you wouldn’t, didn’t want to intrude in his space (acting as if you didn’t still feel him in your guts) until you nodded.

“Okay fine… just because I’m already here.” You sighed as you made your way towards his bathroom, oblivious to his eyes following your form.

—

Part 6<< [NSFW]

Part 7<<

He’s baaaaack.

Not proofread.

Word count: 300

Taglist is closed!!

Taglist: Taglist: @famouscattale @strawberryjuice9 @loser-alert @maomaimao @franceseca-the-1st @ginnysculture @mishaglass @wusyanmee @mangoslushcrush @queerponcho @bunnibitez @miguelzslvtz @migueloharastruelove @dahehow @sinners-98-world @othersideoftheparadise @toyfortoji @yeshajane @yvesbi @hanjisgf @deljojeisbackagain @safixiovi @emmalandry @maxinemus3 @lauraolar14 @aaaaslaaaan @kenz-ee @esmedelacroix @whattheshock @migueloharasoulmate @syler-griffin @comeonatmebruh @xwonderlandresidentx @m4dyy @mcmiracles @the-pan-liquid @lilbrababe99 @jxstanemo @badbitchhour @freehentai @sillysillygoofygoose @nj452896 @jadeloverxd @faretheeoscar @ce3stvu @scorpihoooe @blossomofbismuths @nxxav3rs3 @ilovespiderverseeee @ghost-lantern @saaaaaaaaaaaamiiiiiiiiiiiira @lavenderslemonade @rinnako @reirain @nommingonfood @miguelsfavwife @tomalymme @farrowroyale @beckberin-xo @yournextbimbogf @tinybirdhideout @reader-1290

[tinkerbellini21]

The Price of Love

Eddie Diaz x plus size! reader

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings: hurt and comfort, misunderstandings, past trauma

Author's Notes: I will have a fluff one-shot with Eddie soon!

Masterlist

The fight had started over something so small, so harmless that neither of you should have held onto the grudge. However, when two bull headed people get together and fight over something this petty, it feels like it becomes a challenge of who will break first. It’s something you both have been working on, but sometimes the old habit wiggles its way back in. 

You had picked Chris up from school the previous day while his dad was out running some errands. Tomorrow was Veterans Day, and Chris was already talking about wanting to do something for his dad. His hero.

You thought it’d be a nice gesture to have Chris pick something out for his Dad. He had worked so hard and sacrificed so much for Christopher and his family without a complaint. 

If you had known that this would cause an argument, you would’ve just stuck with the card he made at school. For their history lesson today, they made cards for a veteran they knew, and if they didn’t know one, it was going to be taken to the VA for someone else. 

Chris needed a new jacket, so you decided to hit two birds with one stone. You convinced him to pick out a Columbia fleece jacket so he could match with his dad, then he could pick out something small to go with it. 

You also splurged on yourself and got a jacket, but made sure to make it different. You didn’t want to take away from the special moment between Chris and his father, but Chris wanted you to get one too. 

For the two boys to get a two-tone navy and blue jacket, and yourself a purple jacket, along with a relaxing basket for him and Chris to enjoy, you spent close to $300, which wasn’t a problem because you made plenty of money nursing. 

However, you had stupidly left the receipt scrunched up on the counter, forgotten as you helped Chris wrap the presents that night. You would be giving it to him early, since both of you had to be at work early in the morning for your 12-hour shifts.

He was ecstatic to receive the gifts, so you thought. That was until Chris went to bed, and then you got the lecture from him. 

“Three hundred dollars? Are you trying to teach Chris that love means spending money?”

That was a low blow, even for Eddie. You were beyond infuriated. 

“It was his idea to get you a gift. He needed a new coat and he wanted to have a matching one with his dad!” You raised your voice, not too loud to wake Chris up, but just enough to show your irritation. “And he wanted to get stuff you could enjoy together when you were home. I let him pick whatever because you never get spoiled.”

“Oh, so you think that I couldn’t take my son to get a new coat?”

That was the last straw. You were seeing red, tears of anger threatening to spill over. 

“I never said that! But since you now have the receipt, feel free to return whatever you want and keep the money.”

You stormed off, grabbing your new coat and purse. You had mostly moved out of your apartment, thus your personal belongings were in the Diaz home. But you didn’t care at that moment. You needed to get out of there for the night. 

He had said your name, attempting to come after you. You swung around, sending him a glare. 

“Don’t worry. Next time I’ll approve my purchases with you, Dad.” You delivered the final blow, slamming the door on your way out. 

You slept well that night, only because you had cried yourself to sleep. Your eyes were dry all day, and you had to keep putting eye drops in during the shift. 

You had gotten one message from Eddie that morning. It was two simple words. 

I’m sorry.

You had gotten swamped at work early that morning and you still needed time to seethe. 

You’d planned to text him on your lunch break, but the day got away from you.  There wasn’t time to eat or take a breather.Patients kept coming. It was a miracle that you didn’t see the 118. 

6 o’clock finally rolled around, and you were sitting in the bathroom, taking a few moments to breathe. You could practically feel every cell in your feet as they throbbed. You forgot your good pair of shoes at the house and settled on some old ones in the apartment.

Then you opened your phone and realized that you hadn’t responded to Eddie’s text. Your heart dropped into your stomach, mind kicking into overdrive.

 Had you just made things worse by playing an accidental game of silent treatment?

You type out a quick text: I’m sorry, too. I honestly forgot to respond. We were so busy, I didn't even eat lunch.

You cut your time short in the bathroom, washing your hands and gathering your belongings to head out to your car. 

You jump out of your skin when somones pushes off the wall next to the exit. 

“Woah, hey, it’s just me. I didn’t mean to scare you!”

Eddie. 

Now that there’s no immediate danger, you clutch at your chest, taking a few deep breaths to steady yourself. He gently grabs you, pulling you out of the way of the doors.

“What the hell, Eddie! You can’t be doing that!”

“I know. I’m sorry. Let me walk you to your car?”

You nod, giving a small smile. You lead the way, his hand hovering on your lower back protectively. You subtly move closer, letting his arm wrap around your waist to pull you into him. His lips linger on your forehead.

“Cap let me leave an hour early. Said I was distracted all day. Overheard that I was a jackass to my girlfriend.”

Tilting your head up to look at him, you see that his face is etched with exhaustion. You’re not sure that he slept well last night.

“I didn’t mean it— to call you Dad and insinuate you tried to control my spending. I grew up with an unhealthy relationship with money, and I don’t like to be reminded that I don’t always make the best choices.”

“Hey.” He stops in the middle of the parking lot, pulling you to stand in front of him. “I’m the one who should be sorry. I really appreciate you and Chris’ thoughtfulness.”

A pair of headlights shines in your direction, so you resume the path towards your car, silence settling between you. 

Once you get to your car, you lean against the bumper to take some weight off of your feet. Eddie stands next to you. 

“I guess I’m not used to having someone take care of me. I’ve always been taking care of other people— my parents, Shannon, Chris. I forgot what it feels like, and I reacted negatively.”

You motion for him to get closer, standing up to cup his cheek. 

“I know, but you deserve it.” You purse your lips, running your tongue across the back of your teeth. “I’m sorry for storming off. That wasn’t any better than what you did. We’re both still learning, but as long as we’re in this together, we’ll make it work.”

He reaches down to lace your fingers together, pressing a soft kiss to your lips.  You rest your forehead on his, breathing in all that is Eddie. 

“Thank you for loving him— and me.”

“It’s not hard to love you both.” You peck his lips again. “Now can we go home? My feet are killing me.”

“Yeah, I remembered seeing your new shoes once I was halfway to work, or I would have brought them to you.”

“It’s okay. At least you thought of me.”

“I always do.” He stands up tall, helping you onto your feet. “Come on, lets get you food. Carla has Chris.”

“What are we going to eat?”

“You choose.” His fingers dig into your waist as you walk the short distance to his truck. “But... I'm going to have you for dessert.”

He wiggles his eyebrows, and you lightly shove him. 

It may not always be rainbows and butterflies—but this is real, and it’s yours. Love is rooted in growth and has its flaws. And as long as you have each other? That’s all that matters. 

[delusiondolly]

Railway (WIP)

Summary : You just wanted to enjoy a night out but you started to feel like you were being watched.

Pairing : Bang Chan x female reader

Warnings: Kidnapping

Notes: I’m a new writer and this will be my first story if anyone likes it. This is just a WIP, so I probably wont continue it but if you guys like this I will.

(This isn’t proof read, so please forgive any grammar mistakes)

Word count : 300

You were supposed to be out that long , you just want to go out for once in your junior year of college. You were so caught up in making sure all assignments were done and grades were good that you forgot about having fun. As a young woman , you also have needs so you went to a popular club that was located not far from your off campus apartment.

You decide to meet your friends at the club, from the outside it seems to be crowded. As you walked in , you were hit with the strong smell of Tobacco. You observed your surroundings, seeing people everywhere you looked.

You had let your friends know that you’d be at the bar. You sat on a stool at the bar and ordered a few shots to get you started. You had this feeling that someone was looking at you so you looked around the bar and behind you , just to find no one but little did you see the man in the corner of the club staring at you like prey.

As the rest of the night moved smoothly , your friends had found hookups so they’d be going home with them. The club wasn’t far from your apartment so you’d just walk.

While walking you had this feeling that someone was following you so you being all so paranoid checked your surroundings periodically.

When you got close to home , you started to hear metal clanking , like a cane and some chains. You started to speed walk , the noise started getting louder like it was right behind you. You turned around to see nothing or no one. You let out a breath , heart jumping in your chest. You were just about to turn around when a hand closed over your face .

“Quiet, baby”

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

Let Me Take Care Of You

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~300

Warnings: fluff

Summary: Spencer is sick with the flu, so you help take care of him.

Square Filled: character is color blind for @spencerreidbingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

x

Spencer is one of those boyfriends that is on top of everything. He remembers every important thing you two got going on, he always remembers to get you flowers every week even if the old ones aren’t dead yet, and he is very loving.

That all goes out the window when he gets sick.

Spencer caught the flu when he went on a case with the team and they had to visit a school filled with children. When Spencer even gets the cold, he becomes like a child in the sense that he is needy and always wants your attention on him. He doesn’t listen to anything you say either, even if it’s what’s best for him.

“Go back to bed, Spencer. I’ll be right there.” You stir the pot of chicken noodle soup, one of Spencer’s favorites, and take a peek at him. He’s sitting at the kitchen island with a blanket wrapped around him. He looks miserable. “I’ll bring the food when it’s ready.”

He shakes his head and coughs violently into his elbow.

“No, what if you burn yourself again?”

“Baby, I’m color blind, not blind. I can see where the pot is.” You pause. “And that was one time.”

“One time too many.”

You turn and put your hands on your hips. “Go to bed now before I call Derek.”

Spencer pouts but does what he’s told. He shuffles to the bedroom, and you turn back to the pot of soup. When it’s ready, you bring the soup and some Ginger Ale on a tray to Spencer. He is sitting on the edge of the bed with the same pout on his face. He sees you and his eyes immediately light up.

“Did you get hurt?”

“No, I didn’t. Either eat or get some sleep.”

“Will you read to me as I eat?”

You smile. “What book?”

“You choose.”

You walk over to the small library in the corner of the room and pull one of Spencer’s favorite books from the shelves. Knowing you’re going to get sick next, you don’t shy away from him. You sit next to him on the bed and start the book from chapter one. Spencer barely touches his soup because he’s so focused on the sound of your voice. He lays his head on your shoulder and closes his eyes, completely and utterly safe with you.

x

Want to be tagged? Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[giveafike]

Deck the Halls - B.T.S

TLDR: Decorating the house w the Sheltons! This is part 1/12 of Azzie's Advent Calendar 2024!

Word count + info: 4.2k. including dialogue.

Warnings + Content Ahead: SFW! No warnings : )

Azzie Notes ✚: I'm so excited to share this with you!! Inspo hit me in the uni library and I immediately got drafting away hehehe. Do we like my new masterlist + homepage? how about the new dark blue and brown? Let me know, I'm still experimenting with the aesthetics here... hmm...Anyways, here's PART 1!

————————————————————————

The airport bustled with holiday travellers, bouncing excitedly as they hauled suitcases and holiday gifts, voices vibrating against the high ceilings. You adjusted your suitcase handle, scanning the crowd with a heart racing in anticipation.

You didn’t have to look for long.

Ben’s was always easy to spot, even in the ocean of people before you. He stood in the arrivals area, leaning casually against a pillar with his broad-shouldered confidence, squinted eyes while chewing his lip. It was some miracle he managed to spot you as quickly as he did. The moment his eyes found you, his face lit up, a grin spreading wide enough to make your chest ache in the best way. God, was he a sight for sore eyes.

Before you could even wave, he was moving, weaving through the crowd with long, purposeful strides, bee-lined and tunnel-visioned to you. When he reached you, he wrapped you in a tight hug that lifted you off your feet along with a few kisses to your temple and head.

“Finally,” he murmured, his voice warm in your ear, the familiar drawl like a balm to your homesick heart. “You don’t know how bad I’ve been waitin’ for this. Missed you so much.”

You laughed, clinging to him as he held you just a second longer than necessary. “Missed you too, Ben but you’re making a scene,” you teased, though your face was buried against his chest.

“Good,” he shot back, setting you down but keeping an arm looped around your waist. “Lemme look at you.”

He pulled back slightly, his eyes trailing over your face like he couldn’t quite believe you were real. “Man, you look good. Like, too good. What are you tryin’ to do to me?”

You rolled your eyes, but the way your cheeks warmed betrayed you. “Ben, I’ve been flying for hours. You’re delusional.”

He smirked, grabbing your suitcase before you could protest. “Delusional or not, I’m serious. And you’re not carrying this, c’mon.”

The walk to the parked car was short, but Ben’s presence beside you made the airport fade into the background while he asked a million questions about your journey. When you stepped outside, there it was, a pristine white G-Wagon parked by the curb, its glossy finish catching the glow of the sun as if it had just rolled off a showroom floor. You let out a low whistle and nodded appreciatively.

"You like? Just got it cleaned up the other day for you"

You tilted your head, raising an eyebrow as you took it in. “Cleaned up? Ben, it looks brand new.”

He groaned dramatically, tossing your suitcase into the trunk like it personally offended him. “Don’t even get me started. 300 bucks an hour to get it detailed. 300! I’m in the wrong profession, I swear to God. Forget tennis, I should just start my own car detailing business. Bet I’d make bank.”

You laughed as you climbed into the passenger seat, settling into the plush leather interior. “Ben, you’re literally a professional athlete. Pretty sure you can afford a couple hundred bucks for detailing. I think you’ll survive.”

Sliding into the driver’s seat, he shot you a quick, incredulous look. “Okay, but it’s the principle. 300 and for what? A wax job and a good vacuum? I’m tellin’ you, they probably spent 10 minutes on this thing and then sat in the back counting their money.”

You gave him a pointed look, smirking. “So you heard the price and still went ahead and got it cleaned?”

His hands froze on the steering wheel, and his face damped into an expression of pure guilt. “…well, yeah, but-”

“Exactly,” you cut him off with a laugh. “Finance major paying without thinking? Interesting. Aren’t you supposed to be good with money?”

“Hey now, don’t go throwin' my degree at me,” he fired back, though the grin tugging at his lips ruined his attempt at indignation.

“Then stop giving me so much material to work with!” you teased, settling back into the seat.

He let out a loud laugh, tapping the steering wheel as he merged onto the highway. “You’re unbelievable, you know that? I’m over here getting robbed-no- fleeced for you, and you’re sitting there making fun of me!”

“For me?” you echoed, feigning disbelief. “Ben, this is your car.”

He waved a hand dismissively. “Minor technicalities. I did it for the aesthetic. So you could ride in style, alright? Don’t ruin the vibe.”

You rolled your eyes, though your smile didn’t falter. “First of all, I never told you to get it detailed. You could’ve rocked up in a dirty beat up Ford Fiesta, and I wouldn’t have batted an eye."

Ben gasped, shooting you a look, wrinkling his nose in disgust. “A Ford Fiesta? Babe, be serious. I hope you’d bat an eye. Your boyfriend would never own a Ford Fiesta. You're getting kidnapped if you even think I'd put you as a passenger in one of those.” He shot you a sidelong glance, his smirk playful. “That’s not who I am. That’s not the brand.”

You burst out laughing. “Oh, the brand. My apologies, Mr. Aesthetic.”

“That’s right,” he said, grinning. “We’re a ‘clean car’ household. Even if it costs me my sanity and half my paycheck.”

“Anddd...you're spiralling,” you sung with a grin.

“Am not,” he retorted, though the corners of his mouth twitched.

“You’re literally ranting about how car detailers are living the dream.”

“Well, they are,” he said, gesturing dramatically. “Do you know how much they probably rake in? I should’ve majored in car detailing instead of finance. I’d be retired by now.”

“Spiraling!” you repeated, unable to stop laughing.

“Okay, now I’m spiralling,” he admitted, chuckling as he reached over to grab your hand. His fingers laced through yours easily, his thumb tracing small, lazy circles against your skin. “But you make it worth it,” he added, his voice softening as he glanced your way, warmth pooling in his gaze, his words wrapping around the words like honey.

Your chest tightened at his sincerity, and you squeezed his hand. “I missed you, Ben.”

His grin widened, warm and bright like the Florida sun. “Missed you more.”

The short drive flew by in a blur of teasing banter and warm laughter. Before long, you were pulling into the driveway of Ben’s home, the house glowing with festive warmth. You barely had time to take in the festive glow spilling from the neighbouring houses before he called out, “We’re home!”

The door swung open, and Emma appeared almost immediately on the doorstep, her face lighting up when she saw you.

“You’re here!” she squealed, racing over to pull you into a hug.

You laughed, hugging her back. “Emma! Missed you!”

Lisa wasn’t far behind, her smile as warm as ever as she kissed your cheek and wrapped you in her arms. “We’re so glad you’re here,” she said softly. “Thank you for spending Christmas with us.”

“Thanks for having me,” you replied earnestly. “And for letting me get involved.”

“Oh, please,” Lisa said, brushing off the gratitude with a wave of her hand. “You’re family now.”

Before you could respond, Bryan emerged from the kitchen, wiping his hands on a towel and smiling warmly. “There she is!” he said, his voice exuding a coach’s enthusiasm as he pulled you into a firm hug. It was the kind of embrace that immediately made you feel part of the team. “You’re just in time. We’ve got lights to untangle, decorations to hang, and a house to turn into a winter wonderland. Hope you’re ready to roll up your sleeves.”

You grinned, already feeling the infectious energy. “Always ready.”

Ben leaned casually against the doorway, a smug smile on his face.

“Heads up, though. Dad’s been itching to put you to work all day. He treats this like a championship game.”

Bryan clapped a hand on Ben’s shoulder, grinning. “And someone’s gotta make sure it gets done right. Speaking of which, Ben, you’re on outdoor duty with me this year. That’s non-negotiable.”

Ben groaned, dragging a hand down his face theatrically. “Man, you’d think we’d hire someone by now to do all this.”

Lisa’s voice floated down the stairs as she and Emma descended with boxes in hand. “Absolutely not!” she called, her tone playful but firm.

“Where’s the fun in paying someone to do the best part of Christmas? This is family time.”

“Yeah, Ben!” Emma added with a grin, carrying a box that looked almost as big as her. “Stop trying to weasel your way out of it.”

Ben raised his hands in surrender, grumbling as he helped Bryan gather the lights from a big bin. “Fine, fine. Just saying.”

As Lisa directed Emma upstairs to fetch another box, you stepped into the living room, your eyes immediately drawn to the towering pine tree standing proudly in the corner. The scent of fresh pine filled the house, its needles scattered on the floor like tiny green confetti. You paused, taking it in.

“Oh, wow,” you murmured, stepping closer. “It’s beautiful.”

“Mhm,” Ben chimed in, suddenly beside you again, his arm resting lightly around your waist. “Dad always insists on the real deal.”

“It’s tradition,” Bryan added with a smile.

Ben leaned down, his voice low and teasing in your ear. “Told ya my family goes all out.”

You looked up at him, your heart full as the warmth of the house and his family’s welcome surrounded you. “Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

The house soon buzzed with energy as Lisa and Bryan headed to the attic to fetch more decorations, their voices drifting down as they debated which box was which. Emma made trip after trip, grumbling good-naturedly about being the “pack mule.” Before long, you and Ben found yourselves cross-legged on the living room floor, knee-deep in a tangled mess of Christmas lights.

“Okay,” you sighed, holding up a hopeless knot. “This is impossible. Who just shoves them in a box like this?”

Ben grinned as he worked on his own section. “Maybe it’s a test. Builds character or something.”

You shot him a look. “Pretty sure I’m not learning anything except how much I hate whoever did this.”

“Mm, wow, festive...” he shot back sassily, leaning closer as he pretended to focus on his knot.

Ben stood as he untangled the lights, gently pacing around, tongue sticking out the corner of his mouth as he untangled lights. You were zoned in. After a while, you noticed something..odd. Ben seemed to be making slow laps around you while whistling a small song. You could feel something snaking up your leg, growing tighter and more agitating.

“Ben…” you said suspiciously, narrowing your eyes.

“Hmm?” He didn’t look up, a whistle of holiday cheer on his lips, a smile breaking on his lips.

“You’re wrapping me in the lights!”

He stopped, wide-eyed with feigned innocence. “What...? No! Must’ve been an accident.”

“An accident?” you echoed, gesturing at your legs. “They’re literally tied around me!”

Before he could defend himself, Lisa walked in, her hands on her hips.

“Benjamin, what on earth?”

Bryan followed close behind, shaking his head as he took in the scene. “Already causing trouble, huh?”

“C’mon,” Ben tried, his grin sheepish. “It’s not that bad.”

Emma peeked in from the hallway, immediately bursting into laughter. “Ben, really? Can’t even untangle lights without turning it into a whole thing? Her first Christmas here and probably her last.”

Lisa sighed, stepping in to help free you. “You’re on your own with this one, Ben, no one's fending for you, young man.”

Bryan clapped a hand on his shoulder. “Alright, troublemaker, let’s go. Outdoor lights are waiting.”

Ben groaned as he was shepherded outside. “Man, I don’t get paid enough for this.”

“You don’t get paid at all!” Bryan called back, earning a laugh from everyone.

“Exactly,” he muttered under his breath.

With Ben out of the room, Emma plopped down beside you, grinning. “He’s so easy to blame, isn’t he?”

“Way too easy,” you agreed, shaking your head as you picked up the lights again.

Lisa smiled as she handed you another box. “Alright, girls. Let’s get to work. The house won’t decorate itself.”

The living room was quickly becoming a festive workshop with you three girls chirping in conversation. Boxes were opened, and decorations of every shape and size spilt out onto the coffee table and floor in organised piles.

“Let’s start with the lights for the tree,” Lisa said, pulling out yet another tangled mess of twinkling bulbs. She handed one end to you and the other to Emma, gesturing for the two of you to get to work.

“I swear these things tangle themselves on purpose. Ben never packs them away properly,” Emma muttered, kneeling on the floor beside you.

As you began untangling, Ben’s mischief from earlier was still fresh in your mind. You were hyper-aware of every step you took to avoid recreating that particular disaster as you smiled at Emma's words.

Lisa flitted between the hallway and the living room, bringing garlands, baubles, and figurines.

“I’ll organise these while you work on that,” she said, eyeing the progress you and Emma were making with the lights.

It took some time, but eventually, you and Emma held up the neatly untangled string triumphantly. “Got it!”

“Perfect,” Lisa said, motioning for you both to circle the tree. “Now, remember, don’t just wrap them around the outside. Weave them in and out of the branches. Otherwise, it’ll look like a mess.”

Emma groaned. “We know, Mom. You only say this every year.”

“And yet,” Lisa teased, “every year, I have to redo half of it because someone doesn’t listen.”

Laughing, you and Emma began winding the lights around the tree while Lisa hovered nearby, occasionally stopping you to adjust a strand or reposition a bulb. Slowly but surely, the tree began to glow, the warm light casting soft shadows on the walls.

Once the lights were done, Lisa pulled out the garlands. “Alright, now these go next. Green and gold for the tree, red and silver for the mantle.”

The three of you worked together to drape the garlands, the tree taking shape as a stunning centrepiece.

Then came the baubles. Each one had a story, some were pristine and new, purchased earlier this year, while others were handmade or gifted over the years.

Emma held up a misshapen clay ornament, her face a mixture of embarrassment and fondness. “Oh no! My first-grade disaster.”

“Hey! I still think it’s cute,” Lisa said, hanging it front and centre.

“Mom!” Emma whined, though she was laughing.

You picked up a glittery bauble that had clearly seen better days. “What’s the story with this one?”

Lisa smiled. “That’s from Ben’s kindergarten Christmas. He got glitter everywhere making it. Came home with more glitter in his hair, his clothes and arms than the damn bauble, God, it was there for days.”

Emma snickered. “Classic Ben.”

As the stories continued, Lisa pulled out a delicate glass ornament shaped like an angel. Her expression eased. “This one’s from our first Christmas together,” she said quietly. “Back when Bryan and I were first dating.”

You held it carefully, admiring the intricate details. “It’s beautiful.”

Lisa smiled, her eyes warm. “And this one” she reached into the box, pulling out a small, heavy gold-metal ornament, “was from our first Christmas as a married couple.”

The room fell quiet for a moment, the weight of those memories settling warmly over all of you.

When the tree was nearly complete, Lisa climbed the step stool with the star in hand. “This is always my favourite part,” she said, placing it delicately at the top.

The living room sparkled with the glow of the tree, but there was still plenty to do. The three of you moved on to decorating the rest of the house. Garlands were hung on the staircase, stockings were carefully arranged along the mantle, and the nativity set was placed on a small table near the fireplace. In the kitchen, holiday-themed dish towels and centrepieces brought the festive spirit to life, while Emma lined the hallway mirror with a string of twinkling lights.

During all this, the front yard was abuzz as Ben and Bryan worked to untangle the long strings of lights, their voices carrying into the chilly evening air. A ladder leaned against the house, and plastic bins of decorations sat open on the porch. Ben held a tangled bundle of white lights, stretching them out to find the end while Bryan adjusted the ladder’s position along the front porch’s edge.

“You think we’re the only house in Florida still doing this ourselves?” Ben asked, his tone half-joking but with a thread of sincerity. “Bet all these other folks around here got companies for this kinda thing. They’re sittin’ inside toasty while we’re out here workin’ our butts off.”

Bryan snorted, looping a strand of lights over his arm. “You’ve said that about five times already, son. Sounds like you’re angling to hire someone for next year.”

Ben’s grin widened. “I mean, I’m just sayin’. Ain’t it smarter to delegate?”

Bryan paused, looking at Ben from the top of the ladder. “Smarter, maybe. But you can’t put a price on tradition.”

Ben tipped his head back, the corner of his mouth lifting. “Uh, I think you can, Dad. Pretty sure that’s what decorators do. They set the price.”

Bryan shook his head, laughing as he clipped a strand of lights into place. “You’ve been spending too much time crunchin’ numbers. This ain’t a spreadsheet, it’s Christmas, Ben. It’s about makin’ memories, not outsourcing ‘em.”

Ben muttered under his breath, “Still feels like highway robbery not to outsource ladder duty.”

Ben stepped back from the ladder, brushing his hands together as he looked through the living room window. His eyes settled on you, standing between Lisa and Emma, holding up one end of the garland like you three ladies were trying to negotiate a peace treaty. The sound of laughter muffled through the glass as Emma gestured dramatically at her mom, who was clearly in her element directing the two of you. You said something, and whatever it was, had Emma doubled over laughing, leaning against you for support while Lisa shook her head chuckling softly. Ben’s grin softened, his breath escaping in a small cloud in the crisp air.

Bryan caught the look, stepping down from the ladder with a knowing smile. He didn’t say anything at first, just following his son’s gaze. When Lisa threw her hands up, mock-annoyed at Emma, and you quickly stepped in to fix the garland, Bryan finally spoke.

“That’s the good stuff right there,” he said, his voice low but steady. “That’s what it’s all about. Why we do all this crazy stuff.”

Ben nodded slowly, his grip loosening on the string of lights in his hands. “Yeah… I get it.”

Bryan turned to him, his brow lifting. “You do?”

Ben chuckled, shaking his head. “I mean, I didn’t- not like this. But seeing her in there, fitting in with us so easy? Like, she’s been doin’ this forever? That’s... somethin’ else, Dad. Makes me think about stuff different.”

Bryan tilted his head, studying his son. “Stuff like what?”

Ben hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck. “Like... how lucky I am. She didn’t have to come down here for this. She could’ve stayed up n' been with her family, but instead, she’s here. With us. That says a lot.”

Bryan nodded, a small smile playing on his face. “Says even more about how she feels about you, Ben.”

“Yeah,” Ben said quietly, his voice softer now. He glanced back at the window where you and Lisa were laughing over something. “She’s just... she’s somethin’ else, Dad. I don’t know how I got her to say yes to all this.”

Bryan chuckled, clapping a hand on Ben’s shoulder. “Yeah you chose a good one. But don’t sell yourself short, kid. You’ve got a lot goin’ for you, just don’t forget it’s a two-way street. She’s here ‘cause of you, yeah, but she’s also here for what we are, what this is.”

Ben nodded, his grip tightening around the lights again. “I won’t forget. Ever.”

Bryan’s hand lingered on his shoulder for a moment before he patted him again. “Good. Now, before this turns into a Hallmark movie, how ‘bout we get back to work before your mama starts thinkin’ we’re slackin’ off?”

Ben laughed, some of the weight lifting from his expression. “Fair enough. Don’t want to end up on her bad side. You know how she gets about the lights.”

“Oh, I know,” Bryan said with a grin. “But that’s tradition too, son. And you know what I always say-”

“You can’t put a price on tradition,” Ben cut in, smirking.

Bryan shot him a pointed look. “Exactly. Now grab the ladder.”

Ben moved to grab the ladder, but not before sneaking one last glance through the window. The sound of your laughter carried faintly through the cold breeze, and he smiled to himself as he got back to work.

The sun had long set by the time Ben and Bryan finished stringing the last set of lights along the edges of the house. The chill of the evening bit through their jackets, and their breaths puffed visibly in the air as they stepped back to admire their work. The house was wrapped in glowing strands of warm white light, flickering icicles hanging from the gutters, and a glowing wreath positioned perfectly over the front door.

“You ready to see if we got it right?” Bryan asked, flipping through his phone to find the timer settings for the lights.

Ben shoved his hands in his jacket pockets, his teeth chattering slightly as he grinned. “Let’s do it. If it doesn’t light up, though, I’m blaming you.”

Bryan shot him a look. “You’re the one who tangled half the cords.”

He clicked a button, and with a soft whirr, the entire house came alive. The lights blazed warmly against the dark backdrop, illuminating the yard and casting a soft glow on the driveway.

Ben whistled low, the corners of his lips turning up. “Alright, fine, I’ll admit it. Looks kinda amazing.”

Bryan grinned, clapping Ben on the shoulder. “Good work, son. Now let’s get inside before we freeze out here.”

The two of them headed for the door, their boots crunching over the slightly frosted ground. Inside, the warmth of the house greeted them immediately, along with the smell of chocolate, cinnamon and marshmallows. Emma was in the hallway, packing up the last of the decoration boxes. Halo padded around her feet, wagging his tail and sniffing curiously at the leftover garlands.

“Don’t eat the tinsel, Halo,” Emma muttered as she scratched behind his ears. She glanced up, spotting Ben and Bryan shaking off the cold. “Took y’all long enough. You better be done, I am not bringing those bins back up tonight.”

“We’re done, don’t worry,” Bryan assured her, stomping the snow off his boots. “And it looks pretty good out there if I do say so myself.”

Emma rolled her eyes. “I’ll take your word for it.”

In the kitchen, you and Lisa were finishing up the cocoa. The mugs were steaming, each topped with a swirl of whipped cream and a sprinkle of cinnamon. The fire crackled softly in the hearth, and the warmth spread through the room like a cozy blanket.

Ben barely made it through the living room doorway before you were there, a fluffy blanket in your arms. His cheeks were slightly red from the cold winds outside, and his nose looked frosty.

“Here,” you murmured, wrapping the blanket snugly around him. He let out a soft sigh of relief as the warmth surrounded him, leaning into your touch as you pressed a soft kiss to his chilled cheek. “You’re freezing.”

“Yeah, no kidding,” he said, his voice still tinged with a shiver. “But it was worth it. House looks good.”

You smiled, handing him a mug of cocoa from the coffee table. “It better, after all that work.”

Ben grinned, his fingers wrapping around the mug as he took a long sip. “Okay, this makes it all worth it.”

Lisa ushered Bryan to the sofa in the living room opposite the fire, where she handed him his own mug and fussed over him briefly, adjusting his blanket and settling beside him.

“You two did a good job out there,” she said, her eyes flickering to the fireplace decorations you’d all worked on earlier. “It really feels like Christmas now.”

Bryan took a sip of cocoa, nodding in agreement. “You ladies did a fine job in here too. This place looks great. The fireplace? Perfect.”

Emma finished packing up the last box, then plopped down on the floor beside Halo, who promptly curled up beside her. “Can we officially call it done now?” she asked, looking up at Lisa.

Lisa smiled, glancing around the room. “I think so.”

Ben stepped closer to you, his mug in one hand while his other arm draped around your shoulders, the blanket draped over his back. The firelight cast a golden glow on his face, and for a moment, he just looked at you, his expression soft.

“You fit in here so well,” he said quietly, his voice warm and sincere. “It’s like you’ve always been a part of this.”

You leaned into him, your voice just as soft. “It feels like home. Like I’ve always been meant to be here.”

Ben’s arm tightened around you, his cheek brushing against your temple as he whispered, “This is gonna be a special Christmas, I can feel it.”

You smiled, resting your head against his chest as the warmth of the fire and the quiet hum of laughter and conversation filled the room. It was more than a feeling, it was a certainty.

[blackhairedjjun]

love flew away - k.th

pairing: kang taehyun x gn reader | genre / tropes: soft angst, amicable breakup, boxer!taehyun | word count: 1.1k | warnings: mentions of food and alcohol, pet names (love), heartbreak

part of my 300 followers event (event masterlist)

prompts - OVER?: after a mutually reluctant (and unwanted but necessary) break-up, the sender calls/visits the receiver and tells them that they’re still in love with them. + VOICEMAIL: sender leaves a voicemail on the receiver’s phone after failing to get through to them, and reveals their love for them. (requested by @probably-too-obssessed - "Also the prompt says mutual break up for Over but can it be tweaked to Taehyun breaking up with Reader for some unavoidable reason instead? Tysm and I'd be happy with whatever you write! Congrstulations again!")

author's note: hello!! i'm not sure if this is what you had in mind, taehyun is the one who initiates the breakup with the reader but it's still friendly on both ends...? so yeah haha. also i listened to love flew away by laufey & adam melchor as inspiration for this and i got carried away and wrote 1k, oops. but i hope you enjoy!!

taehyun took you out to dinner on your last day as a couple.

had it not been for the breakup he had decided on a week ago, it would have felt like just another blissful date with him. he ordered all your favorite dishes and asked about your day as you waited for the orders, his wide eyes shining with affection while you chatted on. his hand rested on top of yours on the table, warm and inviting, his slender fingers intertwining with yours halfway through the meal. and when he smiled that adorable little smile of his in between his silly remarks, you felt your heart growing light in your chest. 

the evening finished off with a little wine, and you drank just enough to keep your senses while bathing the rest of the evening in the haze of a dream. and with taehyun squeezing your hand and gazing at you with shining eyes, you really did feel like you were in a dream that you couldn’t wake from.

he wrapped your jacket around your shoulders as you left the restaurant and waited for a cab. he linked his arms around yours and stood close by to keep you from swaying too much, and the warmth of his side kept you grounded. 

“my flight leaves early in the morning,” he said.

“i know…”

you turned to him and were surprised to see tears brimming in his eyes. taehyun didn’t cry much, but he looked at you so solemnly that the gravity of everything began to crash down on you. you met his gaze and when you touched your cheek, you realized that your own tears were starting to fall too.

“y/n…” he grabbed both your hands in his, giving them a firm squeeze. “i’m sorry i had to do this.”

you attempted to croak out another “i know,” but your voice broke before you could get the words out. your tears flowed so much that your vision blurred, and you choked back a sob.

he moved forward and held you close, one hand patting your back gently and the other still grasping onto your hand. you buried your head in his chest and sobbed as you inhaled his scent for the last time. he wore the cologne you had gifted him for his birthday, fresh and musky but a little sweet, and the memory of the gift made you sob harder.

the two of you said nothing for several moments. taehyun repeated another “i’m sorry, love” into your hair and squeezed you a bit tighter. the top of your head felt damp as his own tears fell more freely.

you had remained calm in the week since he announced the breakup; it had been a perfectly rational decision that suited the both of you. taehyun was moving overseas to continue training for his boxing career, and he knew that you had no intentions of moving with him when your own career was starting to take off. he hated the thought of a long-distance relationship that neither of you wanted, and just imagining the loneliness and the arguments that would result from it made him shudder. so when he proposed that you two break up while you were still on good terms, you agreed.

it makes perfect sense, you told yourself; if you had stayed together, you both would have been unhappy. but now, sobbing in his arms and feeling his heartbeat for the last time, a different kind of unhappiness wrapped around you. already you could feel the cold of not having him by your side, the silence from not listening to him chatter about something he had read, the emptiness of losing the man you loved with your whole being for two years. you held onto him tightly, as if doing so would keep the future would coming and let him stay.

when your tears finally subsided, you lifted your head to meet taehyun’s eyes. his forehead rested on yours and he lifted a hand to brush away a lingering tear from your cheek. you closed your eyes, savoring the small act of affection, and he leaned in for one last kiss.

his lips felt gentler on yours than they had ever been.

一

you barely slept that night, and in the first hours of the morning you and taehyun exchanged your last texts goodbye before he was due for his flight. he had left for the airport with his training team, no outsiders allowed, so you wished him farewell from the solitude of your room. 

your emotions came in waves in those hours. just when you thought you were finally at peace with the end of your relationship, the ache in your heart would start up once again, and the pain filled your senses so much that it would keep you from sleeping. the flood of emotions subsided for good only later that morning; your energy crashed and you fell asleep in an instant despite the bright sun outside. when you awoke it was already well into the afternoon.

you lifted your head from the bed and reached for the phone on your nightstand, barely getting up to do so. taehyun usually sent you a text as soon as he arrived somewhere new, and though it made no sense to expect one from him 一 as of today, he and you were no longer a couple 一 your heart still jumped in expectation out of sheer habit. maybe, just maybe, he had sent one last text... one more “one last”...

what you did not expect was an unread voicemail. 

you pressed to listen, and the sound of taehyun’s voice alone was enough to bring you to tears.

hey, y/n. so i finally landed here... i tried calling you but you didn’t pick up. i just wanted to tell you thank you for these last two years. i wish we had more time together but... (a sigh.) i was happy, i really was. you have no idea how amazing of a person you are... you’re incredibly caring, you brighten people’s days, you always listen to me and you work hard not just for yourself but for the people you care about. including me... and i hope that you, well, you stay the amazing person i fell in love with. no, i know you will be. and i hope you’ll be happy always. um, that’s all... (his voice breaks.) no, that’s not all. i love you, y/n. i love you.

[chitty-chitty-bang-bang-bang]

“You’re dead and out of this world” (Nandor x vampire!reader)

Requested by @hannahbisssssss

Word count: 1,174

Age Restrictions: 16+ (based on adult media)

Trigger Warnings/Tags: Anxiety, emotional breakdown, hurt/comfort, fluff, mostly platonic, could be read as romantic

Synopsis: You knew you were dead. Of course you did. But seeing your grave in person just like that was… more than you could take.

Author’s note: I’m sorry I died writing this. Blame the exams and assignments :(

____________________________________

“I am almost fully sure it’s supposed to be somewhere around here…” You mumbled examining the map once again.

“I think we’re lost, [reader]. I don’t see anything that looks like what you’ve described.” Nandor looked around.

The only things that could be seen for miles and miles were trees. Somewhere in this forest was supposed to be your grave. Obviously, it was empty. But your relatives still wanted to honour you by burying your valuables, which you desperately wanted to get back. This treasure hunt started a few days ago when you found a map that led to your old home. You didn’t want to go there alone, because who knows what could be hiding in these bushes so you took Nandor with you. But now it was apparent that your childhood home was long gone and overgrown with greenery.

“No, I swear… I swear, it was right here!” You said pointing to your left. “It was exactly 300 steps away from the river… It… It’s supposed to be right here.” You started looking around frantically.

“Maybe you were just mistaken. It was hundreds of years ago, you wouldn’t remember it perfectly if you wanted to.” He shrugged. “I don’t remember where I was born either. It’s not that strange. Let’s forget it and go home, it would be bad if we stayed in the forest until the sun came up.”

“Nandor, please, can we look just a little bit more? I have a strong feeling, that it’s somewhere near.” Pleading wasn’t beneath you, if it meant actually finding any remains of your previous life.

He hesitated for a moment, then sighed and gave in, following you deeper into the forest. He was probably right and your mind just mislead you about the location of your former house, and yet you stubbornly walked along the river, looking around for anything resembling it. You heard Nandor’s heavy steps stop abruptly and turned to look at whatever made him halt.

“[reader], did flowers grow near your home?” He pointed to the other side of the river, where a small meadow of lilac unfolded.

A sharp breath got caught in your throat, because in the middle of that meadow was a big rock, that looked like no other than a gravestone. For some reason, you suddenly felt uneasy and anxious to go near it. It was your grave. The one that your close ones came to, when they wanted to mourn your demise. The one your family worked so hard to set up.

You immediately teleported to the other side of the river, running up to the tombstone and starting to dig aggressively, not sparing your fingers, clawing your way through the moist ground. You couldn’t bear to look at whatever was written on your grave. It’s not like you would understand it anyway. The language in which it was written no longer exists and you certainly don’t remember how to read it. But just the mere thought of recognising one of your relatives’ carving chilled your already cold bones. Nandor joined the digging, as both of you went deeper and deeper into the dirt, until your hands started to bleed stale dark blood.

You’ve reached it. You’ve reached the bottom. And there it was, a big wooden box, definitely not in the best shape, as it was dirty and lumpy with moisture. You gently took it out and looked at Nandor for a few seconds, contemplating whether you actually wanted to open it in front of him or not. You were already fairly emotional and seeing whatever is inside might just push you over the edge.

“Go on, open it.” Nandor nodded at the box in your hand. He probably wasn’t fully aware of the weight of this situation.

You hesitantly undid the simple buckle, that held it shut and peeked into the contents, but it wasn’t quite what you expected. Those weren’t any of your valuables that you left behind or some relics. These were gifts. A carved wooden doll of you, several handwritten letters, several pieces of cloth from each of your family member’s clothes.

You felt repressed memories flood back into your brain, pulling you in a whirlpool of nostalgia and grief. You missed them so much, more than you’d ever like to admit to yourself, so you just forced yourself to stop ever thinking about your family and it worked well so far. But here you were, crying like a little child, clutching this wooden box, pretending it was your lifeline. As if your whole being depended on this very collection of useless trinkets.

Hot tears streamed down your cheeks, as you desperately tried to regain control over your own body. You didn’t need to breathe, yet somehow still managed to keep running out of breath. It was as if the world was closing in on you at that moment and you had no idea how to let go of those ghosts of the past.

From the corners of your vision, you noticed Nandor. He was surely not expecting your sudden breakdown and his eyes were darting from you, to the box, to the grave and back to you. For a second, he had no idea what to do and you couldn’t blame him, because you didn’t either. He slowly made his way closer to where you were sitting.

Just when you felt like there was no resolution to this situation, another pair of cold hands wrapped around your shoulders and gently pulled you into his chest. He ran his fingers through your hair slowly and whispered something in Farsi, that you couldn’t quite make out. You leaned closer into his embrace, letting him soothe you on his own.

It felt so nice. Rarely ever in your undead existence did you feel warmth. But here, it was warm all over. If not physically, then definitely emotionally. Nandor wasn’t the one to show outright affection often, so this moment felt very special.

“Are you okay?” He asked, a bit nervous about accidentally making it worse, because it definitely happened in the past.

“I’m better… Thank you.” You replied quietly, still shaken and in the process of collecting yourself after the episode. He wanted to pull away, but you stopped him. “Can we just stay like this for a while?”

“Yes. Yes, we can.” He returned to his original position.

An awkward bit of silence hung over your heads, but you let it. This wasn’t a moment for either of you to speak, this was a moment to savour in silence and cherish it while it lasted. You weren’t sure how much time passed with just the two of you in this position, but it was enough for the two of you to see the sky starting to slowly brighten, which meant it was time to find a shelter, until you can come back out at night.

The two of you solemnly backed away from each other and in a wordless agreement started to walk in the direction of the nearest forester’s house…

[beefrobeefcal]

Malicious Compliance feat. Dieter Bravo & gn!reader

Summary: Dieter is a difficult human sometimes.

Pairing: Dieter x gn!reader | Rating: Teen but still MDNI | Word Count: 813

Content Warnings: obscene amount of money spent on undies, boner, dieter being a little shit, brief mention of past drug and alcohol use,

Author's Notes: for my beloved @perotovar - they gifted me the following:

weirdly particular about his underwear. will only wear brand new ones, out of the pack. that is, when he wears underwear ofc

and I ran with it. apologies for how stupid this is.

Thank you to @strang3lov3 and @jennaispunk for their eyes.

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This needed to stop. 

You’d gotten a notification for another shipment from NADS for 300 pairs of underwear, totalling just shy of $10,000. 

You stared at the email in front of you, eyes weary, debating if this was really the man you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. 

*****

Dieter had grown up with parents who enabled every curiosity and quirk he had, both being creatives in the entertainment industry. That, combined with the late-diagnosed ADHD and self medicating with drugs and alcohol for decades, had resulted in some interesting coping mechanisms and fixations. The one currently causing the biggest rift was his malicious compliance. 

“I can’t do it!”, he dramatically screeched from the top of the stairs. He was wearing your feather trimmed housecoat and a speedo, staring down at you with a scowl when you asked him to please wear the ridiculously expensive underwear at least three times. 

“Dee baby -”, you pleaded with him from the foyer below. “Honey, this is getting ridicu-”

“No!”, he barked, picking up the housecoat and marching down the stairs. “No, I have done what you asked and now you’re giving me shit for it!”

“Dieter, I am trying to work with you here.” Your tone grew firmer and louder to match his energy. “But when you spend almost $10,000 on underwear that won’t even last you six months then have a weekly fucking burning party to ‘do away with’ the ones you wore?? It is too much!”

You watched him continue to stomp down the stupidly long, curved staircase, face bunched in frustration. 

“I don’t like wearing them more than once and you said -”, he snipped, pointing at you as he got closer. “- you said I had to start wearing underwear and not go freeballing in public!”

You could hear the pinch in his voice that he got when he was getting worked up (and maybe a bit irrational) over being called out on something. 

You were getting close to being at your wit’s end. Taking a deep breath to try and calm down, you softened your tone, and gently gripped the finger he was pointing at you, pulling and guiding him closer. “Baby - Dieter, I know I asked you wear underwear when you go out, but this is wasteful and -”

Dieter stomped his foot. “Fuck the planet!”

You paused at his outburst and you desperately tried to hide the smile working its way onto your face. Dieter was a lot of things but not being eco-conscious was not one of them. You knew you had to try a different tactic.

“Dieter baby…”, you cooed, stepping closer to him. “I know you don’t like being told what to do, but the paps got a picture of you leaving the gym. In shorts. Mid stride.”  You tilted your head and smiled softly at him. “You know what I’m talking about.”

He sighed, a frustrated release of tension shivered out of his body and he rolled his eyes. “I know! They saw my balls and the tip. But it was just the tip!  No shaft! No pubes!”

You raised your brows at him, letting him know silently that you were not agreeing with him, nor letting him off the hook with that weak argument.

He huffed and stomped his foot again. “Jesus fucking Christ! I just -”. 

But it was all for not; as soon as he locked eyes with you, he groaned, closing his eyes and tipping his head back, then let out a huff as his shoulders dropped. 

“Why can’t I just do what I want?”, he whined, trying to keep his frown from breaking into a smile as he pulled you into his arms. 

You grinned and kissed his forehead, then peppered your kisses down the bridge of his nose and to his lips. “Because you’re voicing a fox in a family friendly movie and flashing people your dick and balls in short-shorts is not good PR.”

He sighed and you could feel him smile against your mouth, murmuring. “You could be on to something.”

You opened your mouth to speak and Dieter took the opportunity to kiss you deeply, his tongue pushing in against yours. He held you firmly against him and you could feel his length hardening against your lower abdomen. 

You knew he knew exactly what he was doing. He knew you’d caught on to his malicious compliance and he was trying to woo you away from poking further at his flawed logic.

Dammit. You loved him too much for it not to work. 

*****

After the 300 pairs of NADS underwear manifested on your porch, you were happy to see that Dieter was wearing each pair more than once. 

But what you were not happy about were the next round of pap photos of Dieter leaving the gym wearing only a huge grin and his underwear - nothing else.

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[imjustasimpxd]

My Angel (Part Three)

➬ Reiner Braun x Fem reader

Part one | Part two | Masterlist | Blog Home | Aot Masterlist

Summary : Reiner was always taught that the devils of Paradis were vicious creatures, but what is he supposed to do when he soon finds himself reluctantly falling for one? Or when he is forced to go back to Marley and leave her altogether?

Word count : Almost 4, 300 words

Warnings : nothing really, reader is upset and isolates herself, Jean comforting reader,

Author’s notes : reblogs are appreciated!! I appreciate all feedback on my writing so that I can know what you guys liked and what you think I should improve on😊

Disclaimer : this is a work of fiction and should in no way, shape, or form, be taken seriously.

Side Note : this fic, and everything else I’ve written on my blog, is mine and only mine. I work very hard on everything I write so do not, under any circumstances, modify, copy, or steal my work.

***Important Note***

Hello my dears, I’m sorry for going on hiatus HAHA, I was super busy with school and work, plus on top of that I had major personal issues that were just too overwhelming to deal with at the time; and I couldn’t even write at all until I got it solved. I was under a lot of stress and was feeling really down about a lot of things in my life so I stopped writing for a little while. But I’m doing better now and I started writing again! So here’s the long awaited chapter three :))) I’m legit just gonna be turning this into a series so stay tuned for more parts! I appreciate your support and patience! <333

“Y/n?” There was a gentle voice at your door, followed by a few quiet knocks against the wood. “Y/n, can I come in?”

Your head slowly lifted from the fetal position you had succumbed to, your vision still blurry with tears as they glanced across your bedroom to the entryway. Barely anything was visible in the dark expanse of your room, except the silhouette of a shadow under your door; a shadow you quickly recognized as Jean’s.

“Yeah, I guess.” You answered his request, quickly lifting your fingers to wipe away the tears littering your skin.

The door then opened slowly, allowing the light from the outside hallway to seep through; its piercing glow caused your eyes to squint after being in the dark for so long. Although, once you began to adjust to the brightness, you were able to make out Jean’s figure entering your room, along with a tray of food he was holding in his hands.

“Hey,” his voice was soft, a tender smile lining his lips as he walked over to your bedside; one of his hands then reached towards your nightstand to turn on the lamp. “There, that’s better. Did you turn nocturnal or something?” He teased, hoping to cheer you up in some small way.

Although, as his eyes glanced toward you, seeing no alleviation in your downcast expression, he realized it was going to take much more than a simple joke to bring you out of this fog you were enclosed in.

“I uh, I noticed you didn’t come down for dinner again.” Jean sighed and spoke with a gentle tone, awkwardly trying to change the subject. “So here, I brought you something.” He quickly stretched his arms outward to show you the tray of food he was holding, hoping it would improve your mood; even by the smallest amount.

You grinned faintly at his gesture. “Thanks, you can set it on my desk. I’ll eat it later.”

Jean’s eyebrows lowered at your words; that wasn’t the answer he was hoping for.

You said the same exact thing when he visited last night, and as he walked over to your desk to set your meal down like you asked, he realized it was foolish of him to believe you.

Already sitting there was the plate he previously brought you yesterday; the same one you promised you wouldn’t allow to go cold.

The food was uneaten, its texture now dry and spoiled after sitting out all night; even the fork he settled beside your plate was in the same exact spot he positioned it in before he left.

A disappointed sigh escaped Jean’s lips as he set the new meal down on your desk, knowing it would go to waste as well.

It’s a pity, had you not wasted it, Sasha would’ve been more than happy to eat at least half of your serving for you; just like she always did.

She used to demand to sit next to you for every meal, because you were the only one who was kind enough to let her steal your food. It started off as just a few bites of course, nothing too covetous, but, as time went by, she started unintentionally stealing almost half your plate.

She’d always apologize thoroughly for it though; she even began buying you a couple sweets from the local shop afterward to make up for it.

Sooner or later, it became a normal routine for you both. She’d eat her portion, as well as half of yours, then later she’d get you something in return. It was a fair trade, and it brought the two of you closer in the process.

Every meal since then was quite entertaining; not to mention loud. It always started with your thunderous laughter after Sasha, once again, scarfed down her food too fast that she ended up coughing. Following that was Connie’s usual “slow down, the food isn’t going anywhere,” comment that would always spark a brainless argument between the two.

Once their fight got more heated than just trivial little jabs, Jean would always step in and order them to cut it out. And every single time, almost like clockwork, Connie would call Jean his permanent nickname of “horse-face” that immediately had the whole table erupting in laughter; especially Eren.

Every meal it was something, and every single time you were doubling over in a convulsing laughter that you couldn’t breathe from. Between Sasha’s coughing, the silly arguments, and the non-stop jokes: the dinner table was always eventful, and your smile was always present.

But now, things had changed.

Ever since the catastrophe that occurred two weeks ago, you stopped attending dinner; and for once, the table was relatively silent.

With only one plate to tackle, Sasha didn’t eat as frantically as she used to. Because of that, Connie’s comments about her speed weren’t made anymore, and Jean didn’t have to play patrol officer and break up any more fights. There weren’t as many jokes for Eren to laugh at, or a noise problem that Mikasa could complain about.

For the first time, the dinner table was quiet, uncomfortably quiet.

Your seat remained vacant for the past two weeks, as did Reiner and Bertholdt’s; but no one needed to ask why, the reason for that was already blatantly clear.

It pained them all to sit at that table without you, to witness the way you isolated yourself, but they knew better than to confront you about it.

There was no point in discussing it, lest they wanted to rehash their grievances for the hundredth time.

So, Jean resorted to bringing your meals directly to you instead; that way you could still get the food you needed without having to interact with anyone before you were ready.

That in itself became a routine of its own: Jean would come to check on you in the early mornings when you’d skipped breakfast, bringing you something light to start your day with; and then at night he repeated the process.

And every single time he came to check up on you, your face wore the same grief-stricken expression as the day before.

Of course, he didn’t exactly expect you to be bursting with joy after what had happened; it was completely normal for you to be upset about it.

Reiner and Bertholdt were their friends after all; their comrades who they fought alongside for years. It was a stab to the heart to be betrayed by them, but, what’s worse is things didn’t stop there either. After the betrayal was the battle, the same battle that wiped out more than half of the military corps, including their trusted commander.

As if the betrayal itself wasn’t already agonizingly painful, the death toll that followed was more than enough reason to feel as dejected as you were right now. It was the bloodiest mission you’d ever encountered before, and the aftermath was beyond heartbreaking, especially since the enemy still managed to escape in the end.

Jean understood why you were isolating yourself; others did too for a little while. And though he wanted to, the reason he never pushed you about rejoining the land of the living was because he knew you were hurting; and the last thing he wanted to do was make things worse for you.

But as his eyes narrowed in on that plate of wasted food you promised him you’d eat, he realized he might’ve been too lenient on you.

You never ate a whole lot of what he would bring you, but you were still getting something, and that was enough for Jean.

Although now that you’d stopped eating altogether, that was officially his last straw.

“What’s the point in telling me you’ll eat later if you never do?” Jean suddenly spoke up, causing you to flinch slightly at the sudden noise.

His voice sounded stiff; almost as if he was frustrated at you. Your head tilted upward to examine the expression across his face, and sure enough, you realized your assumption was correct. His jaw was clenched together tightly, and his eyes stared you down with an irritated glare.

“Well?!” He asked once again, his tone increasing with annoyance as he awaited your response.

“I’m just not hungry right now.” You answered dismissively, as if he was foolish to even be asking such a thing. “I’ll eat when I wake up.” Your words were followed by a subtle roll of your eyes. Your hands then gripped the blanket lying next to you, petulantly yanking it over your shoulders as you plopped down onto your pillow. “Now, goodnight.”

You knew full well that you were acting a bit childish, especially when Jean was only trying to look out for you. But you were too fed up at this point to apologize for your stubbornness.

Every single time you saw anyone it was always the same “look who decided to join us” comment, or worse: a dozen or so questions that you didn’t feel like answering.

Most of them were the usual “how are you feeling?” or “do you want to talk about it?” However, there were always those irritating ones they just had to ask: the ones about Reiner.

As if you even had the mental strength to think about him in the first place, they were still expecting a full report on what you thought about his actions, or what you’d do now that he’s gone.

Their curiosity always seemed to far outweigh their regard for your feelings on the matter; that’s why you resorted to isolation. It quickly became too overwhelming to deal with the bombardment of questions they were ready to unload on you; so, you stayed away, refusing to give them the chance to do so in the first place.

But now Jean was doing the same thing: invading your barracks and asking those bothersome questions you didn’t feel like answering.

Maybe you were just emotional right now, and perhaps being a little too sensitive. Nevertheless, you just wanted him to leave; you just wanted to be left alone.

“Fine then.” You heard Jean scoff. “Just let me know if you need anything.”

You didn’t respond. Instead, you just closed your eyes, nuzzling your face into the blanket as you waited to hear the usual defeated sigh slip past his lips; along with the closing of your bedroom door that would follow soon after.

Just a few more seconds and he’d storm out; surrounding your ears with a jarring echo after he tumultuously slammed that wooden door behind him.

Any second now…

Just one more minute, and then you’d hear it; you were sure of it!

However, the seconds kept creeping by, and there was still no sound to indicate the opening of that door. Rather, an unexpected sound emerged from the silence instead.

You immediately turned around to see what the commotion was about, as well as to find out why he was even still here in the first place.

You didn’t exactly know what you expected to see when you glanced over your shoulder, but watching Jean pull the chair out from under your desk and take a seat was definitely not what you imagined.

“What are you doing??” You groaned in annoyance.

He obviously wasn’t getting the hint that you wanted him to leave, or perhaps he was and just refused to meet your demands.

“Oh? Did you need something?” He asked, as if this was normal, as if you were the one disrupting his peace.

“I thought you were leaving.”

“I never said that.” He leaned back in your chair, extending his legs across the floor; almost like he planned on staying a while.

You stared him down with a glare, but he didn’t acknowledge it. Instead, his gaze was fixated out the window, admiring the moon’s captivating glow from the comfort of your dimly lit bedroom.

“Fine, stay then, I don’t care.” You snapped, laying back down with a dramatic huff; continuing your sulking.

Why was he being so difficult? You just weren’t in the mood to be around anyone? Couldn’t he understand that?

Granted, you hadn’t been in the mood to be social for the past two weeks now, but regardless, why couldn’t he just leave you be? That’s all you wanted.

“It’s not going to change anything you know?

“Huh??” You immediately turned back around, quite displeased at him.

If Jean was going to insist on staying, he could at least have the decency to remain silent so that you could sleep. Evidently, he didn’t agree with that notion.

“It’s not going to change anything.” He repeated.

“No, I heard what you said,” you groaned impatiently, not knowing how much more you could take of this. “But what are you talking about?!”

Jean’s voice was quiet but stern, his eyes soon looked over at you with a sympathetic gaze. “Isolating yourself, starving yourself, everything you’ve been doing for the past two weeks.” He paused momentarily, letting out a gentle sigh before speaking once more. “None of it’s going to bring him back, you know?”

Your eyes widened at Jean’s words, your breathing coming to a halt in your lungs. You immediately looked away from him, avoiding his gaze as you stared at the ceiling; trying to hold back those tears you could feel collecting in your eyes.

Jean was right.

None of your sulking or lack of eating would ever be enough to bring Reiner back; No amount of isolation could change the fact that he was gone.

Reiner had chosen to betray and abandon those who trusted him, those who loved him, and that was all there was to it.

He was clearly never coming back, and even if he did, things would never be the same between the two of you again; or anyone else for that matter.

There was nothing left to do except move on and accept the reality of your situation.

But even so, you still couldn’t bring yourself to do it. Despite the things he’d done, you still loved Reiner, and your heart still longed to be with him.

“I know.” You finally spoke up, “but I wish it would.” A gentle sigh jerked past your lips as you quickly turned back around to face the wall again, clearly not wanting to talk about the subject any longer.

Jean eyes lowered at your response, frustrated that you were shutting down once again; just like you’ve been doing for the past two weeks now.

He quickly slumped against the back of your chair with an enervated sigh, feeling like giving up on his efforts to pull you out of this darkness.

Jean had been trying his best to be gentle with you, to make sure you didn’t feel like he was pressuring you. He’d been patient with your stubbornness, he’d been calm and caring, but you didn’t seem to recognize any of that; all you were concerned about was the agony you allowed to cripple you from the inside, and it hurt to be a witness to it.

It hurt to see the way you were torturing yourself, pretending as if you deserved to be put through this pain. It was almost as if you were acting like this was your fault, like you had done something to deserve this.

But that wasn’t true; and Jean could see now that you’d forgotten that.

None of this was your fault, Reiner was the only one to blame here.

It was cruel of him to put you through this; to make you believe you weren’t good enough to make him stay, that you weren’t special enough to be loved by someone.

What kind of monster does that to a person; a person he loves especially?!

Jean couldn’t understand it, it angered him.

Did you truly believe you deserved to be abandoned? Left unloved?

Was Reiner the one who taught you to think that way? Jean’s blood was beginning to boil at just the thought of that.

It was all so frustrating, so heartbreaking. You weren’t the same person anymore, and Reiner was the cause of it.

Ever since his betrayal, Reiner had taken away a piece of you, the same one that used to laugh so loudly at the dinner table, the same one that contained your beautiful smile.

Your true self was withering away because of the crimes carried out by a man who promised to love you; but Jean refused to let it go without putting up a fight.

He wouldn’t stand by and watch the best part of you fall to pieces just because of some idiot who didn’t realize what he had before he threw it away.

You had to be saved from this, reminded that you didn’t need Reiner to be fulfilled, that you were already enough as you were.

You needed to remember all the good things in life that didn’t include Reiner, all the people that still cared deeply for you; people you seemed to forget about within the span of the past two weeks.

If you were ever going to be able to move on, ever going to heal from this: you needed to let Reiner go.

Jean sighed quietly as he stood up from the chair, attempting to try a different approach in hopes to get through to you.

He had tried everything he could think of without breaking any boundaries, but it got him nowhere. This was now officially his last resort, his final chance to rescue you from this darkness before it consumed you fully; leaving no trace left of the person you used to be.

If this didn’t work, then Jean could at least say he tried everything he possibly could; but hopefully, it doesn’t come to that.

Jean inhaled nervously to prepare himself before he slowly made his way over to your bed; placing a tender hand on your shoulder. “Y/n?” Jean spoke in a quiet voice, trying his best not to make you feel overwhelmed or anxious. “Can you please look at me?”

You didn’t move at first, you didn’t want to.

You were fully aware he was just trying to help, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to open up again without breaking down; and that was the last thing you needed right now.

“Y/n please.” Jean’s voice was desperate and pleading, his hand gently rubbing along your shoulder to, hopefully, coax you into giving in.

You let out a gentle sigh, tempted to just unload everything at once now that the offer was standing. It was hurting to keep everything inside like this; bottling it up and hiding it away as if it didn’t matter, as if you didn’t feel like screaming until your throat became dry and sore.

It was becoming too much to bear; the burden was too heavy to carry on your own anymore, and Jean had obviously noticed.

As usual, he could see right through you; penetrating through every wall you built to conceal your true feelings.

Maybe it was easier to stop fighting him, maybe, you really should just give in.

“I just want to know you’re okay.”

Jean’s voice was kind and sympathetic; the gentle caressing of his hand against your shoulder matching that tender tone he was currently using.

He sounded so desperate, so genuinely worried about you; something you couldn’t just ignore no matter how scared you were to open up again.

“Please…”

He pleaded, and by the tone of his voice you could tell this would be the last time; that this was your last chance to accept his offer of confiding in him before he would give up.

Despite your reservations to it, you knew you couldn’t refuse this time, lest you wanted to sign the contract to submit to your grief eternally.

If you were ever going to recover, ever going to restore that old version of yourself that you missed so much, then you’d have to grab ahold of this opportunity before it slipped away forever.

A gentle sigh rumbled in your throat before your body slowly turned to face Jean, watching the way he retracted his hand from your shoulder as you moved.

“I’m not okay.” You shook your head, eyes welling up with tears already. “And I don’t know how to be okay again.” You spoke with a shaken tone, feeling your lip quiver gently as you stared at him.

Barely ten seconds into speaking and you were already struggling to keep it together; feeling your heart clench in your chest at the recollection of all those bottled up thoughts now resurfacing.

Jean’s expression lowered at the sight of you, as if it was hurting him to watch this.

His body gently kneeled in front of your bed, aligning his eyes with yours as he reached to stroke your shoulder once more. “It’s okay, you don’t have to do this alone, no one expects you to.” He said reassuringly, staring at you with a sympathetic and tender gaze.

“I just-“ A sudden sob appeared at the back of your throat, choking the words you were trying to let escape. “I just don’t understand it. Why did he leave me?” You sniffled gently in between sentences. “Why didn’t he care about me?” A quiet sob slipped past your mouth, much to your dislike.

It was pathetic, embarrassing even; the way you were falling apart over this, not even lasting a good minute before turning into a crying mess.

Your eyes diverted away from Jean, cowering behind the blanket you were now burying your face into; hoping to muffle the sound of your sobs. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean, I just…” Your words came to a halt in your mouth as your emotions quickly took over; preventing you from getting a proper word out. “I’m sorry…” You repeated, clenching your eyes shut in humiliation.

You expected to hear a sigh of annoyance right about now, or perhaps even the shutting of the door. However, your body jolted in surprise when you felt the sudden warmth of a person hugging you gently instead.

Your head quickly lifted from the blanket and your eyes widened to see Jean’s face so close to yours; almost making you blush awkwardly at the proximity.

A comforting smile painted across Jean’s lips when he saw you look up at him. “Sorry if this is weird.” he chuckled nervously and quickly let go of the hug; backing away in case you felt uncomfortable. “You just looked like you needed that.”

Your expression softened as you looked at him, feeling a sense of gratitude filling your heart at the way he was attempting to comfort you; even if it was a little awkward at first. “No, it’s okay.” You quickly shook your head in response, granting him a gentle smile in return; one Jean hadn’t seen in two weeks.

Your body quickly sat up and leaned forward, reaching off the bed to where Jean was kneeling and wrapping your arms around him to continue the hug. “You’re right, I do need this.” You spoke in a soothing tone, letting him know you were okay with what he did a few seconds ago; and that it hadn’t pushed you away.

Jean let out a gentle sigh of relief at your actions, a little flabbergasted at how well you were responding to him. Here he was prepared to face your stubborn and dismissive attitude for the millionth time and yet he was faced with a completely unprecedented outcome.

There were no more spiteful comments or hurtful glares coming his way, just a gentle gaze and a pleasant embrace he never anticipated receiving after the state you were in merely seconds ago.

For the first time in two weeks, it seemed the Y/n he once knew, the Y/n he always secretly harbored feelings for, was finally showing herself again; even if just by the smallest amount.

Jean grinned gently to himself, and his arms quickly wrapped around your back to return the unexpected hug. “We’ve all been worried sick about you, ya know?” Jean spoke softly as he tightened his grip around you, allowing his hand to gently caress your back in the process.

“I know,” You uttered quietly, your voice sounding less unhinged and imbalanced as it was before. “And I’m sorry.”

You sniffled gently, your eyes clenching shut and your arms tightening around Jean’s neck as you leaned against him; wanting to stay in his comforting embrace.

Jean chuckled as he felt the way you clung to him; realizing just how desperate your need for reassurance was. “It’s okay, you don’t have to apologize.” He said as he leaned the side of his head against yours, continuing the subtle tracing of his fingers along your back. “Just please don’t do that again, okay?”

You nodded quickly, feeling the sting of tears pricking against your eyes once more. “I won’t, I promise, I’m really sorry.” You apologized again in an uneasy tone, feeling shameful of the way you’d been acting for the past two weeks.

This whole time Jean had been here trying to help you, but you’d just been too consumed in your own misery that you failed to notice the damage you were causing; the pain you were putting him, as well as everyone else, through by isolating yourself like this.

You’d been rude, selfish even; too hyper fixated on your own agony that you’d become blind to the impairment you were projecting onto everyone else.

You’d hoped it wasn’t too late to turn things around and make amends with the people you’d been neglecting for the past two weeks; and a part of you started to grow fearful that you’d missed your chance by now.

However, by the way Jean held you close and leaned his head tenderly against yours, it was obvious that wasn’t the case.

Part one | Part two | Masterlist | Blog Home | Aot Masterlist

(I’M LEGIT TURNING THIS INTO A ACTUAL SERIES NOW, OOPSIES) More parts to come soon! :)))

Taglist: @thebadbatch @nervouslad @ah-finally @usagikookiejams @setangel @unwindwithme @milkysuck @realglittereater @cyberdollface @glactict3a @elachapelle1357 @bucky-lents @diavoloslove @be-lla-vie @maaralo @buckysgirl01 @venomfantasies @desiiisstuff @novahaitani @jadasz @viiiik

This fic, and everything else I’ve written on my blog, is mine and only mine. I work very hard on everything I write so do not, under any circumstances, modify, copy, or steal my work.

Keep in mind that commenting to tell me what you liked, what you don’t, how I can improve, and any suggestions you have helps me A LOT more than simply liking my posts. If you’ve had the time to read my story, how much longer does it take to leave me some feedback on it? 😊

[queers-gambit]

Hello my lovely, it’s me your babygirl. Remember me? 🥰🥰

I know you’re busy working on fics rn so take as much time as you want to answer!

I’ve got a very important question regarding Felix that I’d love your opinion on it & share my thoughts with you! 

*quickly runs to give you the biggest hug & spin you in my arms* 😘

So…. What do we think a Felix x reader wedding would look like at Saltburn? A grand extravaganza with a million guests or an intimate ceremony with just the Cattons?

Obviously they take every opportunity to throw a party at Saltburn so a wedding is the ultimate bash in the eyes of the Cattons. 

Or would Felix just decide to change it entirely and just want it to be a tiny intimate thing since he wants this to feel quiet and special. And then maybe some big party another day to the delight of Elspeth and sir James.  

For Felix he’s so laid back and in love all he cares about is his girl and what will make her happy. They are so young and in love i wouldn’t be surprised if he proposed on a lazy Sunday morning or a day reading naked in the field, just because he was so blissfully happy he knew there was nobody he’d rather spend these kind of days with for the rest of his life. 

Side notes: Venetia would be maid of honor right? I see Elspeth as the mother in law that makes herself heavenly involved with planning and gives her brutally honest opinion picking out the dress 😅 I can even picture stoic Duncan trying to hold back tears while he’s holding a tissue box to Elspeth or sir James while they read their vows. 

…

Sorry for the endless ranging but I’m aching to know your thoughts and see if you’ve thought about this too!!

of course i remember you, baby girl! welcome back!

i needed a break from writing, so thank you for sending this, my darling! it's always good to refresh the pallet, and this ask really got me thinking!

let's get into it!

kinda-sorta wedding AU HC's

pairing: Felix Catton x female!reader

fandom masterlist: Saltburn

word count: 1.4k+

warnings: suspiciously none

so your question all depends on the Reader, but i'll try to answer best i can.

the Saltburn wedding is definitely a huge, extravagant ordeal. the Cattons are well connected, so, it wouldn't just be Felix and Reader's peers attending, but ALL family from both sides, as well as family friends, too. Reader's family is invited to Saltburn a week before matrimony; where they try to help, but the Cattons have hired 3 different wedding planners to make this the most talked-about event in any social circles.

every room in Saltburn is cleaned and decorated. an abundance of flowers are shipped in to be hung from the ceilings and bannisters. there's BOTH a live band and a DJ, an erected outdoor dance floor.

now, i can see two different things: 1. Felix and Reader marry in the local church and then the reception is hosted at Saltburn. 2. they marry on Saltburn's property and still have the big ass reception on the grounds.

either way, it's most def a summer wedding to utilize optimal weather. it's a reason to wear the best clothes, drink expensive liquor excessively, and indulge in gluttony. it's a night designed to make attendants jealous.

there's well over 300 people, Sir James and Elspeth combing through their address books to send invites even to family friends they haven't spoken to in years. they're the kind of parents that take advantage of their child getting married; it's the best excuse to show off and have a grand celebration, to prove the family doesn't do anything half-assed. if they can throw extravagant parties just for the hell of it, they definitely feel pressure to out-do themselves.

it's like this wedding isn't *for* Felix and Reader, but more so for the Cattons to show up and show out. it's not about a union of two people, but an excuse to gloat and smash their privilege in everyone's face.

Felix eats it up 'cause it's all he knows, the spoilt rich boy, but Reader's a little uncomfortable with the sheer size and details of her wedding. but in the same breath, she's relaxed because she KNOWS this is just how the Cattons operate and she doesn't really have to lift a single finger.

so, Reader lets Elspeth plan her ideal wedding - 'cause there's no way she's not involved. they make some decisions together, it's a bonding experience for Reader and her soon-to-be MIL, but for the most part, it's the matriarch doing most of the heavy lifting.

Felix and Reader only get to decide on wedding colors, catering options, and the cake. and even then, they have to endure his family's opinions.

Reader doesn't even get to 100% choose her dress, hair, and make up. Elspeth basically decides everything. i agree with you and think Mrs. Catton would impose herself even on the wedding dress selection, becoming persnickety, opinionated, and a little snarky when Reader shows off her dresses. this causes tension with Reader's family, who think the older woman far too self-important, and maybe it's Reader's mother or sister that stands up to her and insists Elspeth keep quiet since this *isn't* her wedding and they don't want any influences on Reader. they want Reader to choose her perfect wedding dress without scrutiny since she has no say in anything else.

in fact, maybe - juuuuuust maybe - Reader's family takes her to shop for a wedding dress without Elspeth in an effort to dial down the stress. it's not meant maliciously, but Elspeth simply cannot help herself and takes over everything; so, Reader's family figures if she's not there, Reader can make a decision *for herself*.

when Elspeth finds out, she's hurt, but it's Sir James that calms his wife down by reminding her that she had something not-so-nice to say about damn near every single dress Reader tries on. so, she accepts this one detail being out of her control.

the entire wedding screams "old money" because half of the decorations and details are wildly redundant, but there's no such thing as cost to the family. Elspeth is def living vicariously because she thinks she knows best, so she spares no expense - perhaps even going as far as to rent exotic peacocks to roam the grounds simply because the Cattons can!

they're definitely going "Crazy Rich Asians" in the sense that Felix's marriage is going to be the event of the decade, like Collin and Araminta's wedding. again, it's not even about the union but just a chance for the Cattons to remind everyone that they were lesser-than. Felix thinks it's normal, he thinks this is how it's supposed to be 'cause he's def removed from reality, and truth be told, he loves the attention. the bragging rights.

Felix might be a bit more reserved than his family, but he's still a Catton and glamour is *all* he knows, especially for an event like this. he doesn't stand up to his parents because they're paying for everything, which makes him feels as if he's not entitled to an opinion. so, he lets Sir James and Elspeth plan the wedding they want since all Felix has to do is show up. he'll do his best to alleviate stress, acting as a buffer between his betrothed and parents, but he doesn't dare open his mouth.

this is marketed as a once in a lifetime celebration, so nobody is willing to butt heads with Sir and Mrs. Catton.

on that note, yeah, i can see Felix having an intimate proposal. maybe in the field at sunset, maybe at a cafe in town, but not in bed. he's got a flare for the dramatic, so odds are, he's actually down on one knee. he's young, so he doesn't need to make a huge ordeal for the proposal since it's an incredibly intimate moment. he might even proposal on a whim / impulsively. he's had a ring for months, planning the best moment to ask Reader, but he gets anxious and one day, it just happens. it feels right. Felix has that burning feeling that he needs to ask now else he'll fuck up his plan in the future by being so nervous. so, yeah, he just asks one day - barely even thinks about it! he just knows Reader is who he wants, so why plan the "perfect moment" when an opportunity organically presents itself?

now, Venetia can be a bridesmaid, but she's not MOH. again, depends on the reader, but i imagine Reader's sister or her own best friend should be MOH. Reader wants Ven involved in everything, but no, she's not gonna be the one standing next to Reader when she gets married. Ven helps decide bridesmaid dresses, works with Reader's sister and / or best friend to plan the bachelorette party, and is present for any conflict between Reader and Elspeth. she's sorta like a tie breaker because Felix is on Reader's side and Sir James is on Elspeth's. Ven is the one who helps keep Elspeth under control, the only one bold enough to stand up to her mother without fear of repercussions. she sees how Reader is struggling to both have the wedding of her dreams and respect for her MIL, so, Ven imposes herself to give Reader a break. to be the voice Reader lost.

and just because it's fun, YES, Duncan is def in attendance, handing the Cattons and Reader's family tissues during the emotional moments of the wedding. he eats two slices of cake. and for the fuck of it, you bet your ass Duncan lets loose a little and Cabbage Patches on the dance floor.

i think it's nice to imagine Felix being all cute and intimate, but personally, i think he's so far deep in his family's way of living to truly be humble. sure, Reader anchors him to reality, but he still lives this extravagant life so he doesn't know the definition of "humble". but that's why i said, it depends on your reader - but in my opinion, Felix is a little too spoilt to have the forethought to marry privately. or maybe he knows it's a fight not worth having with his parents, that no matter what, they're going to do what they want.

so maybe Felix is the one encouraging Reader to just "go with the flow" because resisting is futile. perhaps Reader comes around to the idea of a grand wedding because she knows she'd never have this sort of experience with anyone else; so, why not bask in it?

ah, i love these. they're so much fun! thank you for sending in, baby girl! all my love 🖤

[polizwrites]

A Mysterious Musician

Congratulations to the team over at @flashfictionfridayofficial   for reaching the milestone of 300 weeks of prompts - thank you for all the inspiration you offer to us writers here on Tumblr!   This fic is a fill for three of this week’s prompts:  [#FFF300 Let Me Go] [#FFF300 Burn It Down] [#FFF300 Rise and Fall], along with my @fandom-free-bingo   Fool’s Edition  A2 square - "I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve." 

Fandom: MCU/Marvel Pairing: Tony Stark/Bucky Barnes  Rating: General Tags: No Powers AU, College AU, Musician Bucky Barnes, Secret Identities, Brock Rumlow is a Creep Summary:  Tony falls for a mysterious performer at Battle of the Bands, only to meet him again in an unexpected place.   NOTE: Sorry for the cliffhanger - I may be adding more to this if time, energy and inspiration collide again!  Word Count:  747 words

Let me go Burn it down Rise and fall, baby

The pounding drumbeats and screeching guitar licks were about what Tony had expected from a local Battle of the Bands, but the black-leather-clad front man was clearly something special -  singing  as if his life depended on every word as his long, dark hair whipped around his face in the wind. 

Even though he’d never seen or heard of Alpha Strike before, Tony couldn’t help but join in when the chorus repeated, shout-singing along.  Truth be told,  the only reason he was even there was thanks to Pepper - her boyfriend’s band was up next.  Tony would have to thank her later for the invite; assuming he still had a voice. 

The singer’s storm blue eyes met Tony’s just for a moment over the half-mask he wore.  "I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve,” he sang - it was a feeling Tony knew all too well.   

He had to meet this guy. Not just because he wanted to climb him like a tree (although that definitely played into it) - it was the lyrics that spoke right to Tony’s soul, and the emotion he poured into every note.  The crowd went wild the moment the song ended, which meant Tony had to push his way through a throng of clapping, cheering half-drunk students to try to get backstage. 

He finally made it, spotting the band’s guitarist.  “Hey - you guys sounded really good out there.” 

“Damn right we did.” the guy replied, clearly more than a little full of himself.  “I’m Brock. I put the band together.” 

“So that was your song?”  Tony didn’t mean to sound quite so incredulous, but he didn’t quite seem the type to write something so powerful. 

Brock rolled his eyes.  “Nah, Jay, our singer wrote it.  His head’s full of that kind of crap. I don’t understand it, but  it sounds cool once me and Jack add the music.” He looked Tony up and down with a leer.  “You know, we’re always looking for new fans. Especially hot ones like you.” 

“Uh, thanks, but I’d really like to talk to Jay.” Tony replied, getting a little creeped out,  “Do you know where he is?”   

Brock shrugged. “Probably already gone. Doesn’t like crowds. For that matter,” he put one hand on the wall next to where Tony was standing, “neither do I.  How about you and me go find somewhere more private?” 

Tony stepped back out of reach. “Sorry - I’ve got other plans.  Good luck with the competition, though!”    He headed back out into the crowd, in hopes of running into JB, but no luck.  

Tony would have skipped his eight o’clock class the next morning, but he knew Doctor Pym would be handing out the assignments for a group project and he wanted to find out who he’d have to deal with.  

“Group three,” Pym announced,  “Stark, Lang and Barnes.”   Tony remembered Scott from a previous class - he was all over the place sometimes due to his ADHD, but he knew his stuff. The other person, though, was an unknown quantity. 

Tony glanced around as Scott slid into the desk next to him;  they both  startled at a soft voice speaking from  behind them.  “Um, hi.  You’re group three, right? I’m James. James Barnes.” 

He wore a ball cap and tinted hornrim glasses, giving them a shy smile as he held out one hand in greeting.  Nonplussed, Tony shook it, and James sat down.  

“I, uh, I’m looking forward to working with you two.  You’re both really smart.” James let out a small huff and shook his head.  “Some days I don’t even think I should be here.” 

“Blame that on Pym - he’s a brilliant man, but a lousy instructor,” Scott commented, clearly trying to make their partner  feel more at ease.  “Tony’s great at explaining things, though - he’d make a great TA.”  

“Thanks, Scott,” Tony replied, trying not to stare at James - he looked familiar, but Tony couldn’t quite place him.  Then he noticed the large silver ring on James’ left hand.  It was the same ring he’d seen Jay wearing the night before. 

“You’re him!” Tony exclaimed.  “You sing for Alpha Strike!” 

James’ face went pale.  “Uh, no, I don’t…”  he stammered, grabbing his bag and jumping to his feet. Before Tony could say anything else, James was out the door. 

“What was that all about?”  Scott gave Tony a confused look. 

“I don’t know.” But I’m going to find out.”   

[aaronstveit]

Hi Jamie! 🫶😙 I’m trying to read more this year and was wondering what your usual reading routine looks like? Four books already is amazing!

hi taylor!!🫶🏻💓 full disclosure, all four books i've read have been on the shorter side: i think the bear and the nightingale is the only one that even clears 300 pages so far? i generally prefer shorter books over longer books so that definitely counts for something here. the way i typically read is like this (putting this beneath a read more because this got out of hand):

first it's important to note that i am really lucky and i have a lot of free time! it would be very disingenuous for me to act like i don't, and like that doesn't play a role in how much i read.

i also don't sleep very well so i do a lot of reading at night. i would say the majority of my reading happens from like 10pm-2am. which of course is not ideal but it is what it is.

reading is also my primary hobby! i like doing other things of course, but reading is the hobby i dedicate the most of my time to. when i get really caught up in a tv show, or giffing, or writing, my reading time declines rapidly. but right now i'm not doing any of that really, so i've just been reading! plus, the weather here has been pretty rough this last week, so i've been doing a lot of reading just because i've been cooped up trying to stay warm.

i like to have a couple different books going at any given time, in a couple of different genres. typically one longer book and/or classic, one easier book, and something like a nonfiction book, poetry collection, or short story anthology. that way, i have different things going for different moods! like right now, i've got notre dame de paris by victor hugo, a vindication of the rights of women by mary wollstonecraft, and the examiner by janice hallett! so i've got some more challenging reads, and then something that's more fun and that i can sit and read for hours at a time.

with the more difficult books, i aim to read one chapter a day, and if i'm really into it, i might read a bit more! but i don't force it. that's really my biggest thing: i don't force it. if i'm reading and i get distracted wanting a snack, i'll get to the end of my chapter and then go get a snack. if i decide i want to scroll social media for a few minutes, i let myself. i know a lot of people say you shouldn't do that, but it works so much better for me if i let myself get distracted instead of fighting it. i would rather go scroll through tumblr for five minutes and then come back to my book ready to read again, than read several chapters and not remember anything because i'm thinking about how i want to do something else.

i also think that letting yourself pause or DNF books is vital to reading more. i know it sounds counterintuitive, but trying to force myself through a book i don't like does wayyyyy more damage to my reading motivation than just giving up and choosing something else. i don't like reading to feel like a chore, so when it does, i switch it up.

also, i cannot emphasize this enough: find someone you can talk to about books. they don't even have to have read the book you're reading, just find someone you can tell about whatever you're reading. my dad and i talk about the books we're reading all the time, and it makes me even more excited to read so i can tell him about it and recommend books to him that i think he'll like. it's a really fun way for us to connect and we've discovered new favorites from each other, which is really cool. even when i don't think he'll like a book i'm reading (even when i don't like a book i'm reading) i can talk to him about it, and vice versa. it's really nice.

setting goals is also super helpful, if you're the type of person whose brain works like that! i don't work very well on numerical goals, so i set my goodreads goal at a relatively low number (for me) and i focus more on general goals. mostly this means challenging myself to branch out of my comfort zone. i prefer shorter books and mysteries and thrillers, so i have been challenging myself to read longer books and to read more fantasy, science fiction, classics, and literary fiction. it's better for me to have more broad goals that are less pass-fail, but everyone works differently!

knowing what format works best for you is also really important. i read best with physical books, so i get what i can from the library! e-books are next best for me, and my library has hoopla and libby, so i can usually find what i want to read there if they don't have a physical copy. i can only audiobook if i'm working with my hands, so when i'm working on a hands-on project, i'll find an audiobook to listen to, usually something short! when it comes to plays, i prefer listening to them over reading them, and they usually don't exceed 3 hours or so, so sometimes i'll listen to plays while i work on stuff. shakespeare's stuff is all in the public domain so i find free podcasts of them on spotify, and i really enjoy them! otherwise though i'm not big on audiobooks, so i don't listen to much other than plays.

fomo also plays a big role for me i won't lie.... when i see everyone else on earth enjoying a book, i want to read it and have fun too! this does mean i have read some truly horrible books in my time, but i've also discovered a lot of my favorites this way!

god i've spent over an hour scrolling through cossette notebookmusical's blog because i KNOW she once made a post that was so much better than anything i can say when it comes to reading more, but i can't find it anywhere 😭 if/when i find it, i will send it to you! i hope some of this advice helps 💛 also you are always welcome to come talk to me about books!!!! i hope 2025 is kind to you 🫂