#this got out of hand methinks
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ghcstao3 · 1 year ago
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for @rainerestored — cowboys au
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Wisps of sand sting Soap's eyes as he attempts to keep a steady aim on his opponent. He wishes the bastard could have chosen any other day for confrontation, any day not on the cusp of a storm—but Soap is not not going to defend himself, either, so here he has no choice but to stand and face the sheriff.
"This is the end, Johnny," Graves calls, with false amicability and a very real edge, "Your days as an outlaw are over."
Soap snorts. He's certain he's heard those exact words before, be it from Graves or someone else on the so-called right side of the law, so somehow, some way, Soap doubts that this truly is where his life stops.
But in any case. He doesn't falter even as dust clings to him like an uncomfortable second skin.
"Awfully bold assumption," Soap grumbles. He shakes his head, makes certain there's a bullet set in place. He knows he's quicker than Graves—he just needs the right moment. "Let's just make this easy, aye?"
"Stand down, then." Graves shrugs a shoulder. Soap can't wait to rid him of that smug look. Just a little longer. "That easy enough for you, partner?"
Soap scoffs. Rolls his shoulders. Readies his trigger finger. Opens his mouth to offer one last retort and—
A shot rings out, quick and brutal and loud. Soap frowns. He still stands, he still has all his bullets, and his gun certainly isn't smoking. He glances back to Graves and sees the sheriff is wide-eyed, gun forgotten at his clutches his stomach, where crimson blooms in uneven petals across his uniform.
Graves collapses. Soap doesn't allow his arm to fall to his side just yet, still uncertain of the origin of the shot.
Then a searing-hot barrel is pressed to the crown of his head, just beneath the rim of Soap's hat.
"What's your business?" A deep baritone asks, voice somehow muffled in spite of being near right in Soap's ear. It rumbles through Soap as his hands involuntarily raise in surrender.
"Was trying to save my honour," Soap rasps. "What's yours?"
Miraculously, the pressure of the barrel falls away from Soap's head. He hears the weapon be holstered, and Soap takes a deep breath.
"Doin' a shit job," the stranger mutters. He then adds, much to Soap's surprise, "John MacTavish."
Soap whirls around. "How do you—"
The words die on his tongue as soon as he's facing his saviour—and near murderer—and finds the man to be none other than The Ghost. Famed outlaw; a legend. Never captured, hardly seen, and believed by many to not even be real. Yet here he exists, clad in all black despite the heat, face half-obscured.
It's bad, Soap thinks, that his first observation is just about how nice The Ghost's eyes are.
"I know quite a bit about you, Johnny," Ghost hums.
Though Soap has hated that nickname from the mouth of many others—particularly a certain recently deceased sheriff—he feels a pleasant shiver roll up his spine at Ghost's use.
Soap cocks an eyebrow. "That so?"
Ghost nods sagely. He looks Soap up and down, assessing, before raising his chin. "I hear you're good with explosives."
"I might be." Soap says slowly, shrugging a shoulder. "What for?"
Ghost narrows his eyes. Soap can almost hear a smile in his tone as he says, "I have a job for you. If you accept, that is."
Soap tilts his head. His heart beats an erratic rhythm. "If I don't?"
There's definitely a smile now. "Then this really will be your end. Partner."
And, well. Who is Soap not to say yes to an opportunity to work with The Ghost?
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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year ago
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Perhaps even,,, pink LaughingStock,,,,? 👀👀👀
ough....yeab....
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shalomniscient · 7 months ago
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modern sevchino sappy cuddle time <333 i am so normal about this guys i swear⸻
art by the amazing rniihsn on instagram!
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y-rhywbeth2 · 4 months ago
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Who decided the drow should have so much fucking lore anyway.
('I should've been a drow.' You can't fucking stand Cazador or your 'siblings' you would not fucking want to be a drow. Although I guess Astarion would make a fair Vhaeraunite.)
#babbling#I'm still working on it and the many many fucking novels I don't really want to read#but at the same time my dwarves are calling me away from the elfyness#there was a giant red cardinal loose in the mines until it ran into the tavern in a panic and the human merc staying there killed it#I wanted to catch and tame it to make a dwarven aerial cavalry of giant blood-red passerines#now there's dead bird everywhere and nobody actually wanted to do cleaning work and everybody's being sick#possibly because half the work force is severely disabled#because they ran off to beat a giant snapping turtle to death and got limbs torn off#I told them not to fucking go fishing but nnOOooo#that's slowing things down a bit#We spent weeks huddled in a hole in the ground eating raw horseflesh and staring at nothing due to trauma#bleeding through amateurish stiches done by a dying one-handed dwarf with no medical training#while one of the dwarves sat in the other corner carving bone into jewellery while seething with homicidal rage#We have no textiles industry; some of the dwarves are wandering around swathed in bone jewellery and crowns like morbid monarchs#But their clothes are tattered rags clinging to their heavily scarred flesh by threads#the mining team has to double as the militia because they've grown to crave violence for some reason - especially the medical staff#Can't wait for the elven diplomat to turn up and start bitching about the logging industry#Like look you cannibalistic fuck; these dwarves are a hairsbreadth away from descending into berserker-rage and slaughtering us all#I am not making them sleep in the dirt because you oppose me turning the odd tree into a bedframe or a barrel because we are ALWAYS#ALWAYS on the verge of running out of alcohol#...#Either this sounds insane or you know exactly what I'm talking about#I'm going to make a DnD session out of this methinks
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nulltune · 11 months ago
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thinking abt when hakuno got sakura flowers from the garden...... 🥺 she is absolutely da type 2 give you smth bc it "reminded her of you" frfr 🤧💖
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dandyshucks · 8 months ago
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Ren momence,,,, @shirogane-oushirou here's a couple doodles of your guy!! big fan of him :]
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wavernot4love · 5 months ago
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thursrochester 7.16 wavernot4love lil recap
(the continuation of the tradition anyone who has ever scrolled upon my blog likely knew would be coming post-show)
- first of all. APPLICATION!!!! i can't not start this off with Her. my first time hearing her!!!! also, the spark/moment chanty part!!! i was too busy having the time of me life to film it but god that bit rocked
- i mentioned earlier today that the initial 5 song run on the setlist of workforce, cross out the eyes, signals, standing on the edge of summer, and jbny may kill me. i was right. thursdudes were out for blood with that one.
- speaking of thursdudes (thursday, the people) they very much knew what they were doing with the house music. in fear and faith (the song). a coheed deep cut i actually didn't know that immediately went into my dunesverse playlist. amen.
- smiley stage geoff will forever be my favorite thing. i do not say this in a borderline creepy uwu way i simply mean it's contagious and genuinely admirable. i love watching that dude do his thing
- that reminds me, definitely the smallest venue i've seen thursday in. which fits the theme of these shows. i really enjoyed that honestly, and i love how close you are to the stage at montage. with the exception of when i hopped in the pit on occasion, i was mostly around the second/third person from the front so it was awesome to just have that back and forth dynamic with geoff being right there all night.
- throwing it out there that i have no idea where this new tucker aesthetic came from (has it been a thing lately?) but i dig it (you can see him in the back of this pic, peep the all pink jumpsuit & pink "TR" tape)
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- we got running from the rain!!! full circle moment since i haven't heard that since my first thursset, at adjacent last year. also fast to the end came back home. as she should.
- tim kasher. god bless. admittedly cursive have been sitting in my list of bands to get into so i did not actually Know anything, but i really like the guy and will have to peep his setlist so i know where 2 start. truly enjoyed his set.
- mercy union from nj were great as well. they mentioned growing up in nj they learned from thursday that the moment you walk into a show, nothing outside of it matters. that's how i certainly feel, and felt 2nite.
- my only sad things are 1. the epic crossover did not in fact happen (everyone cleared out really quickly after the show, it's not like folks were waiting for them or anything). someday. and 2. we didn't get at this velocity :-( but i will live
also i just feel the need to share before i go that i am Still Here street parked by the venue (white awning on the right) as i type this. This is where i type these things from. the party ended two hours ago but he's still very much here.
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anyways, goodnight, i'm going 2 actually head home shortly, i can't wait for the next thursshow (and that crossover, whenever it does happen), as always, get out to the thursshow when it comes your way, and do stream
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ezkezpez · 2 years ago
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Photo from my instagram story concerning my first attempt at rebinding!!!
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necromycologist · 11 months ago
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yeah they have a really strong family resemblance (the fandom mischaracterizes them in the same ways)
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bluupxels · 2 years ago
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kinda want 2 play The Sims 4
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bonyato · 2 years ago
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I already couldn't choose wether to watch the 2001 or the 2021 anime adaptation....and now I wanna switch to the manga too......Ughjoegh—!!
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#FUCKKKK I JUST WANTED TO GRAB A SCREENCAP OF A SCENE I SAW IN THE ANIME CUZ I THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY & WANTED TO SEE ITS MANGA EQUIVALENT TOO#BUT WHILE I WAS LOOKING FOR IT I CAME TO NOTICE JUST HOW MUCH CONTENT BOTH ADAPTATIONS SKIPPED‚UUUU .... (╥﹏╥)#I mean they kept the essentials (at least in the 2021's adaptation case) but still..!! it's such a bummer methinks#probably must be just that i enjoy seeing character interactions a lot hsjfhsjf (which is why i favor the 2001 adaptation much more too)#but at the same time‚ w/ how much importance ties & friendship and relationships in general r given in this series#you'd think they'd focus more on emphatizing that by being equally attentive to the more slow-paced‚ lighthearted non-action events#they may seem trivial but it honestly adds so much to characterization#Anyways the whole reason why im making this post is bcuz there's this one chapter that starts off w/ Yoh & Manta going to school together#& like actually being shown engaging in school activities and i thought it was fun#it upset me that i didnt see this in neither of the adaptations orz (from what i've seen so far anyways but still‚#i haven't seen it yet i doubt i'll see it later on since it's an early chapter)#It got me thinking abt ALL THE OTHER STUFF I MUST'VE BEEN MISSING AS WELL.....AND THAT I'LL PROBABLY KEEP MISSING OUT ON#so now i have a 3rd dilemma 🧎 PAIN & SUFFERING......#'cuz like i said‚ i was already struggling to decide between keeping up w/ either version of the anime ('、3_ヽ)_#the 2021 one sticks to the manga .. but i like the atmosphere + the way 2001's adaptation handles its pacing better......#AND there's also my bias based on personal preference. (<- Huge older anime aesthetic enjoyer)#however it does Not completely stick to manga events so that keeps me from being able to enjoy it freely orz#Switching to the manga seems like the easiest course of action w/ all this considered#BUT THEN I'D ALSO BE LOSING THE CHARMING SPANISH DUB ASPECT‚ WHICH IS /ALSO/ A HUGE REASON WHY IM WATCHING THIS IN THE 1ST PLACE...........#HEAD IN HANDS. WHAT A NIGHTMARE!!!!!!!!!!#finally getting into shaman king is .. reminding me why i took so long to actually get into it in the 1st place ( ꒦ິ꒳꒦ິ ) SO COMPLICATED...#wondertext#apologies for the ramble !!!! My mind is plagued w/ Thoughts ♡
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satorisoup · 5 months ago
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WAHHH nia, my precious petunia !! (。Ó᎔ ก̀๑) how much i cherish you is inexplainable !! T^T you are an absolute light, my heart is soso warm !! <3 having the honor of being mooties with you truly makes me so incredibly happy, I WUV YOU SOSO MUCH !!
LOOK AT ME AND KOU !! T^T our little love letters, IM SOBBING !! you captured me & him soso perfectly, my heart can’t take this !! a precious koene drawing from you is such a lovely way to make me smile PLS !! <3 m’ giggling & kickin’ my feet as we speak EEEEK !! THANK YOU SOSO MUCH FOR THIS ADORABLENESS !! T^T
i must scream in the taggies, THIS IS JUST TOO CUTE !! <3
hai everypony. used some of u and ur ocs as my muses for a little (big) (rough) spread :3 So u know u r perceived and enjoyed.
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if ur surprised because we don't talk um. i recognize ur user and or did some tag lurking so. hey... um. Hey...... tags and notes under the cut!
@khalixvitae - KHALIX ! do not know this guy At All but i decided to mix things up and use him!! if u have any thoughts to share abt vil i'm all ears! >__<
@sweet-milky-tea705 - JAYCE! yasenia. smoking duck gif. is anything else needed 2 say... i didn't forget her ears i just. upside down. hair. and. giuspelazpe
@koyukiki - Leon Kennedy. LMAO he's literally the most random guy on here. "why hoseok da bus driver" vibe LIKEHEEBFHSB but u know. hiii koyuki!!
@shobvrry - wehehehe... hiii friend,, little shoto for u!! :3 do u like the placement of frozen joke bear. get it. bc. because. he. and. get it
@dira333 - kENMA!! this is evidently Not the thing i wanted to give u but. this has taken a while and i actually want 2 redo the other thing so. haii dira!! \o/
@satorisoup - tHe Only self ship other than me on here. based it on ur existing self ship comms and picrews.. R ur eyes green. like. ..IMCRYING . ROCK ON LENE!
@last0bread - !! azalea has SUCH a cool + unique design!! she's also quite satisfying to draw?? LOL. i also like doodling flowers so thanks for letting me do that :3 🩷 /silly
@mustddart - oh my god i didn't know u changed users and just got so scared. I rock w these guys. i don't know their dynamic i based it solely on this post (& it being percy) but I ROCK W THEM!!! U r one of the people i recognize by user btw. Hiiii stay awesome!!!! 🩷��
@luv-indigo - SOOO lovely!! loved reading about nadine and seeing her in each step ^__^ !! i recognize u by user too. Haiii all ur art and ocs r super nice and cool!!! 🙆🏻‍♀️🩷
@vaultureculture - bro i am rocking w this design so hard. elvia is stunning like okkk???!! leander i see u. i get u 🙂‍↕️🔥 phlomis is also Awesome i love the dynamics and story going on IM ROCKING SO HEAVY!!
@kandy-katz - omg. i did the chibi first and by the time i got to the last empty space i realized sol was the only one who was a sole (haha) chibi and !! 😭 i felt so bad bc his full design is SO SO cool so he's here twice. HE'S AWESOME!! 🩷🙆🏻‍♀️
@dreamtydraw - smoking duck gif. apple bag trio.. lOVE THEM!! 🩷💌 wasn't originally gonna do all 3 but i saw this pose and thought it was silly and fun.. yeagh. all ur ocs are always so lovely and unique!!! everypony reading this go check dreamty on itch.io and play all 5 games NOW!!!
@evanox - SARA RAAAHHHH!!!! saraahhhhh!!.???? haha get it. ...just looks like i spelt ur name wrong. Let's carry on. MAEHWA!!! 😭🩷🩷 worked off jayce's art I hope she looks ok. sage is drunk and saying something stupid /affectionate Idk what.. hehe she's lovely!!
@anonymous-eggy - Big Fan of masks and i love this one. HIS DESIGN IS SO FUN!! i finished drawing them the fastest fr fr i want that shirt so bAD and their hair is so nice yeahh i rock w az HEAVY!! 🩷🩷
@someiicecube - cannot overstate how heavy i rock w esther. u hooked me at an awesome stunning design and reeled me in w reading too many romance books and wishing it was him. so me. SO COOL!!! 🩷🩷
da process........
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yeahgh. 👍 i wud like to draw some for real in the future but actually if i draw anything in the next few days my brain will explodeo.
#PLSPLSPLSPLS NIA I LOVE YOU SOSO MUCH !!!!!! /p#to know m’ seen by you and to call you a beloved mootie of mine makes my heart soso warm !!!!! T^T#you are soso precious & i absolutely cherish every chat we have !! <3#LOOK AT ME AND KOU !!! EVERYONE !!!! I DEMAND IT !!!!!!! >//<#we look absolutely ADORABLE !! oh goodness my heart is MELTING !!!!!! WAHHHHHH !!!!!!! T^T#this was such a sweet surprise M’ TEARING UP !! :’>#TEEHEE PLS !! my eyes are green YOU GOT IT PERFECTLY !! >//<#your art is absolutely beautiful I AM OVER THE MOON ABOUT THIS !! WAAAAHHEEHEHEHHE !!!!!! YAHOOOO !! YEOWWOWW !!!!! NOBODY MOVE !!!!#KOENE DRAWN BY NIA USER 6OKUTO ON TUMBLR.COM MY LIFE IS COMPLETE !!!!!!! YEAAHHH YEHHHAHWH KOENE KOENE KOENE YAHOOOOOO !!!!!!!!!!! >o<#the little joke bears scattered around OMIGOSH this is so precious and cute and YOU !! NIA MY SWEETHEART !! <3#look at you and aki !! I WANNA SQUISH YOU IN MY HANDS !! /pos#my sweet lil yaoi joke bear akaashi silly lovin’ mootie <3 NIA YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS TO ME !!!#i remember giggling and screaming to my friends when we first became mooties because i was so excited !!!! you are so CUTESIE !! /p#im soso glad i’ve gotten to chat with you and i cherish you so deeply !! our chats mean everything to me and i love learning about you !!#i am seriously sobbing there are tearsy hand over my heart while i clench my shirt in my fist this is so cute PLSPSLSPSLS T^T#nia you rascal YOU’RE MAKIN’ ME TEAR UP FOR REALSIES !! /pos <3#i never would’ve thought i’d see me and kou in your precious lil artstyle but HERE WE ARE !! AND I AM !! OVER !! THE !! MOON !! YAHOOOAOEHEH#watch me make this one of my pfps… watch me put it on my homescreen… watch me look at it every single day for eternity THEHEHEBDBSEHSHHDWJ#IM SO HAPPY WAHAHEHSHAHAHSHDH I CANT EXPLAIN IT SHHWSHAH WAHHH !! YEOWOW !! SCREAMS !! CRIES !! YEHEHSHSBSB !!!!! <3#*whips out tablet and stylus* joker keiji for nia… i must do it… i must repay her for such kindness & cuteness methinks…#but for realsies this has made my entire day !! week !! month !! year !! MY LIFE !! MY WHOLE LIFE !!! ^_^#you are so sweet for thinkin’ about me m’ actually giggling >//< i feel like i could fly to the moon !!#feank sinatra reference mayhaps…. anywhosies HELAPA#smoochin’ you and huggin’ you SOSO tightly nia PLS !!#me and kou look so FREAKING ADORABLE !! PRECIOUS !!!!!! FANTASTICAL !!!!!#am i ramblin’… i am ramblin’ i fear but in this case it is NECESSARY !! ^_^#i am holding this soso dear to my heart nia THANK YOU FOR BEING THE SWEETEST AND BESTEST EVAAAA !!!!!!!! <3#I WUV YOUUUU MY PETUNIA !!!!!!! /p MWUAH MWUAH !!! <3 🍓#˚⊹ ᡣ𐭩 — art .ᐟ#⊹ ˚˖ ౨ৎ koene ˚˖ ⋆
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66stitches · 12 days ago
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dating abby headcanons
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Art by fjorgust on instagram
Daily click - Palestine masterpost - TLOU and israel
divider creds
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꩜ She isn’t super big on pda, but does little stuff like grab your hand or give you occasional kisses on the forehead just to remind you of how she loves you (and to let everyone know you’re hers).
꩜ With that being said, she’s all over you once you’re home.
꩜ Absolutely loves lazy morning cuddles and kisses far more than she’d like to admit.
꩜ I just know she listens to dad music. Definitely a big fan of The Offspring.
꩜ Loves to spoil her girl, but even though she doesn’t admit it, she secretly loves being spoiled and coddled as well.
꩜ Has a pretty high pain tolerance, but would sometimes exaggerate her pain just so you’d coddle and baby her, especially when she’s on her period.
And you know she’s fibbing, but you knew that if you confronted her she would immediately deny it and get super defensive (which is how you know she’s lying).
But you love babying her, so you’re more than happy to play along.
꩜ She snores, but it’s pretty soft and light, so you don’t really mind at all. It’s actually pretty comforting.
꩜ Shares her coin collection with you. You don’t really get the fascination, but seeing her ramble on passionately about what new coins she found only makes you fall in love deeper.
꩜ Reads classics. A huge fan of Dostoevsky. But also she loves nonfictions.
꩜ Absolutely sucks at video games. If you play, she’ll ask if she can try, only to get your character killed like five seconds later then complain that “something’s up with your controller.”
꩜ Loves having her hair played with. She would have trouble sleeping sometimes, but once your fingers are on those golden strands of hers she’s out like a light, already softly snoring into the pillow.
꩜ Sleeps completely naked with you. Not for any sexual purpose, but just feeling her bare skin against yours as you’re sleeping makes her feel closer to you than ever. It’s an innocently intimate and loving moment she likes to share with you.
Honestly just imagine cuddling to sleep at night completely naked. Everything is quiet and you’re peppering sleepy kisses on each other’s face, neck, shoulders, and rubbing each other’s arms and back 'til you fall asleep oh god I’m SICK.
꩜ This woman is in love with sitcoms and I will not be elaborating any further.
꩜ Claims she doesn’t like cats, but once came home like an hour late because she got caught up playing with a stray cat. Refused to tell you the real reason why she was late.
꩜ Cracks the dumbest jokes you’ve ever heard that only put a smile on your face because of how stupid they are and how cute she is when she says them.
Remember that scene where she was trying to joke around with Lev but she’s just super bad at it and he didn’t even try to play along? “You know our dogs can play cards like that?” Yeah, she does that with you too.
꩜ Cries after arguments (canon) but can’t stand people seeing her cry. She’s a pretty emotional person methinks.
꩜ Loves festivities. Will go all out on christmas and halloween, decorating the entire place and buying gifts (pesters you with questions about what you got her).
꩜ Pesto. She loves it on everything.
꩜ Loves massages. Back, shoulders, feet, scalp. Loves them all and only wants them from you.
꩜ A caregiver. (If you’re on meds), she’ll always make sure you take them and take them at the right time. She ensures that you eat three meals a day and get enough sleep, and even doesn’t let you stay up for too long. She just wants her girl to stay healthy.
꩜ She’s a total book hoarder. She promises not to buy another book 'til she’s done reading the ones she has, only for you to find a paper bag with ten new books the next day.
꩜ Loves you endlessly and has your entire wedding planned out in her head. She knows exactly what songs she wants to play and how she wants your dresses to look.
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natromi · 3 months ago
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Insomniac Nights
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Prompt: “I can't sleep, do you mind a cuddle?“
Wanda Maximoff being unable to sleep because of her nightmares, decides to choose you out of everyone for a cuddle. You think she's joking, why would she choose you? She thinks you're cute for being so naive on her growing feelings for you.
Warnings: None because this is pure fluff! Maybe like a little bit of a possessive mindset at the end but it's vague methinks.
Word Count: 390, short one to start with.
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Wanda let out a sigh as she rolled from one side of her bed to the other, her head on her hands as she contemplated fighting a god for her lack of sleep. She could very well fight a god or two if she wished, maybe she would choose to fight Morpheus if he so much as appeared on her line of sight. Alas, she didn't have the energy or the mental capacity to handle a fight, let alone with the dream man.
And so she sat down, eyes on the colourless wall as she got lost in her mind for a while. She thought about how unlucky she was to get nightmares, while you were sleeping quite peacefully next door. Maybe she envied your ability to sleep so much and so well, maybe she envied that you cuddled your pillow, and not her.
As thoughts swirled around her mind, she thought of what she wanted to do. Either she could suffer by herself and try to go back to sleep, or she could ask you, her best friend, and most oblivious person in the multiverse, to cuddle her. Because obviously friends cuddled all the time!
She made up her mind after a couple minutes (which felt like hours), standing up and walking quietly to your room. Choosing to open the door quietly, as to not wake you up, she found you reading a book. A surprised look on her face as she expected you to have been sleeping by now.
Too surprised to notice your stare on hers, she broke into a soft, shy smile. The darkness hiding her flushed cheeks, your silent motion for her to walk in allowed her to close the door slowly, walking over to you. There was a silent understanding of what she wanted, and you were perfectly okay in this thought to be platonic move.
You enveloped her in your arms, a soft sigh leaving Wanda's lips as she found comfort in your body heat, the way you smelled, and your tight hold as you went back to reading. She found these moments incredibly peaceful, that she often thought about how she could ever deserve you, her most prized possession.
But you didn't know that yet, you didn't need to. You would understand soon enough that she was the only one for you.
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This is my first oneshot that I publish!! I hope you guys enjoy it. Feel free to repost, send a comment or just like this. It'll mean so much to me to know that it's being liked. (:
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slime-water-shrew · 3 months ago
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Allonormativity and BillFord
(Links mentioned are at the bottom of the post)
I think aimasup puts it best in the caption above their comic linked below “They loved/love each other but not exactly romantically do you get me.” Bill and Stanford’s relationship was mutual and they definitely cared for each other in one way or another, however I don’t believe that love was romantic or even sexual in nature. Both Stanford and Bill show a lack of interest and/or understanding of romance in their respective books as countless people have pointed out, Ford even being referred to as “plansexual” (check out the Love page in The Book of Bill.)
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[Photo of a pink page from The Book of Bill. The page says the following: "Bill, have you ever been in love?" "Sure -- tell your mom hi for me! By the way, have you taken a DNA test recently? Not asking for any particular reason." "Seriously, though, have you?" "Asking me if I've been in love is like asking a black hole if it liked your mixtape or asking a subterranean fungal spore network who its favorite animated princess is. I'm a multidimensional specter of chaos that transcends reality, I couldn't possibly care less about which bag of plasma blushes at who or why!" "Okay, but like... You gotta be crushing on someone." "I will light this book on fire." "Methinks you doth protest too much." " "Methinks"? Kill me before you start telling me about your polycule."]
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[Photo of a grey page from The Book of Bill. The six fingered hand symbol representing Stanford Pines rests above a block of text that reads "Sixer dreams about a pop quiz that asks him, "What are you attracted to?" Usually writes, "I'm attracted to logic and preparation." Not sure what to call that! Plansexual?"]
And yet it seems that Bill and Stanford had a romantic/sexual relationship in the past. Bill gives you flirting tips and has done several of them on Ford. He gave him rats in the book and the “The “LOVE CAGE”” in the show itself.
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[Photo of a damaged and yellow page from The Book of Bill. The page has a drawing by Ford of a pile of dead rats arranged to spell out his name, "Ford". Above the rat drawing is the text "Why?" with an arrow pointing at the rats.]
The karaoke page heavily implies that they went on a date and slept together too.
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[A Photo of the aformentioned karaoke page in The Book of Bill. The page is yellowed and the text written on it is messy and completely unlike Ford's normal handwritting. It is also filled with spelling errors. It is hard to read so my best attempt to write out what it says are as follows: "I probabbly shouldn't be writin this down but I had such a crazy??? WOW what a. It was a night! And now it's mornign? Cill Bipher.... He did a dream? Karaoke? And then one thing led to another thing and normally I try to be sober but... He mixed a dream drink and??? I gotta say. I just gotta say. Look it's just me and my journal here, I gotta say: This Bill guy he's really got it all figured out. Also the rats were his idea? I get it now. I'm gonna, we're gonna what a time. What a hangover. Gonna sleep. Whole day. Ad aspera asperin -Stranford Pi" The pen then trials off the page and below the wall of mangled words is a drawing of Ford and Bill infront of the stars with mics in their hands singing. Ford is holding a drink in one hand with his eyes closed in a smile and Bill has an arm around him and is looking at him sweetly. The song they are singing is Disco Girl.]
So does this mean they aren’t aroace? Not at all. I believe that the two of them confused obsession for love. As wishwizardliv states in their post linked below “NOBODY CAN TELL ME IT WAS ROMANTIC[.] THAT SHIT WAS JUST OBSESSION ON BOTH ENDS”. Ford was practically consumed by obsession. His carpets, walls, everything down to the windows were made in Bill’s image. He prayed to him and his favorite constellation is Bill. He was a god to him.
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[Photo of a page from Journal 3. The page is yellowed and there is a drawing of a few constalations. One being Ursa Major and the other being William. William is a triangle with a bowtie and one eye. The drawings are labled with a note underneath with a arrow "Favorite constellations".]
And Bill was no better. From the stories we have of his past his involvement in any one person’s life is a rarity and the fact that he visited Ford often says a lot. Not to mention I do believe Bill when he offered Ford to rule the universe with him. I think he honestly wanted to have Ford by his side for all of weirdmageddon. Not to mention he carried him around everywhere like a doll and made him out of gold unlike all the other people he petrified. They were clearly obsessed with each other and in our allonormative world that is hard to rationalize unless you assume it is romantic or sexual in nature.
Hana Hyperfixates in their video Gravity Falls and LGBTQ+ subtext: Decoding the Queercoding | A Video Essay, around the 1 hour and 33 minute mark they say “... there’s a lot here about Ford wanting women to notice him, and not a lot about him noticing women. He was a guy in the 80s who wanted stardom and acclaim. Women wanting men in power was imagery he likely was surrounded with growing up.”. You might be thinking “Okay but what about Bill? We know allonormativity exists in our world but how can we say the same for his actions?” Well I have news for you: we can also see Bill Cipher literally being pressured about how “you gotta be crushing on someone” (Book of Bill Love page); it’s clear that even though Bill is not even from our dimension even he can’t escape allonormativity. All of this in mind with how deeply obsessed with each other the two of them were it makes sense they would confuse it for the traditional kind of love and try their hands at dating. Which explains why a triangle that is above love (as he kinda states in the Love page), and a “plansexual” man would go on a date and sleep together. They may not ever actually have been in love but them attempting to flirt and date makes sense when you consider they just confused their obsessions with romantic love. In this context it recontextualizes Bill’s statement in the Love page shown below.
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[Photo of a pink page from The Book of Bill. The words are written in white blocky but setchy leaters with a black box around them. The text reads: "Love is a trick. And worst of all. It's a trick you play on yourself!"]
What at first seems like the bitter words of someone who feels like love is pointless could be taken more literally. It was in a sense a trick he played on himself.
As an aroace person myself who has often confused obsessing over fictional characters or gender envy, or just really caring about a friend deeply with a crush, I have to say there is nothing more relatable than that.
Sources & Links
wishwizardliv : https://www.tumblr.com/wishwizardliv
wishwizardliv’s post : https://www.tumblr.com/wishwizardliv/758841130677862400/nobody-can-tell-me-it-was-romantic-that-shit-was?source=share
aimasup : https://www.tumblr.com/aimasup
aimasup’s comic : https://www.tumblr.com/aimasup/758803563813224448/they-lovedlove-each-other-but-not-exactly?source=share
Hana Hyperfixates : https://www.youtube.com/@hanahyperfixates
Hana Hyperfixates’s queer reading video : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFRx3ibU3yU&t=146s
462 notes · View notes
eggtargaryenii · 28 days ago
Text
EAST OF THE SUN | PART II
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You were a disgrace to House Targaryen, the product of an impulsive wedding between a lost prince and some Essosi whore. You had little social capital within the Red Keep and few prospects for marriage, but that was alright. You were perfectly happy to stay out of the game of thrones, wed some politically relevant lord of Alicent Hightower’s choosing, and die in peaceful obscurity. Unfortunately for you, Prince Aemond had other designs for your future.
11.1k words, aemond x fem!reader x jacaerys. childhood friends to lovers (except it's cousins), political drama. chapter warnings for targaryen incest and themes of xenophobia/racism and misogyny. see part I for full story details. dividers from @/cafekitsune.
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V. STRENGTH
Jacaerys was a child when he found out that he was a bastard and his mother was a whore.
Bastard. Whore. Even before he understood those words, he knew that he was different, somehow. That he was not enough. The lords and the ladies in the Red Keep always stared at him and Luke when they walked by, clinging to their mother’s skirts. They whispered whenever Ser Harwin Strong spent his afternoons with them in the training yard, putting wooden swords into their tiny little hands and teaching them how to swing. They covered their mouths to hide their laughter whenever his father, Ser Laenor Velaryon, took Jace out riding, steadying him on his pony. Pay them no mind, Jace, his father always said. They're only staring at you because you will someday be king.
So Jace closed his ears and focused only on Mother, Father, Ser Harwin, and Luke.
But the older he got, the harder it was to ignore the whispers. Bastard. Mongrel. Son of a whore. A wonder that his dragon egg even hatched. I've never seen any Velaryon who looked like that. He don't look like no Targaryen prince, methinks. Look at that hair. Look at those eyes. He can only be a bastard.
He can only be a Strong.
It wasn't all bad in his family, at least. Queen Alicent always looked at him with contempt, but his grandsire kept her from saying anything. Sometimes his uncle Aegon would bully him about it, but then he would leave Jace alone whenever he was teasing Aemond instead, so all Jace had to do was join him in making fun of the scrawny boy. And whenever Aegon and Aemond teamed up to point out Jace’s bastardy, you would stop both of them. You would gently scold Aemond and that would make him quiet, but with Aegon you would throw things instead. (Oops, you said once, after dropping the Seven-Pointed Star on Aegon’s foot. Sorry, my hand slipped. I'm afraid that book burns my heathen fingers.)
You always defended Jace like that.
Jace’s mother was a whore, and he later learned that yours was too. Maybe that's why you were so nice to Jace, even though the lords and ladies of the Red Keep scorned you worse than they ever did him. To Jace’s wonder though, you never seemed bothered by it.
It doesn't matter who our parents are, Jacaerys, you told him once. We’ve got dragons. We’re Targaryens. So long as we play our cards right, no one can ever touch us.
But what if my blood isn't enough? he would mumble. What if Vermax doesn't let me claim him? What if I cannot fly? He did not have silver hair and pale eyes, the features of a Valyrian king. Perhaps his bastardy and Andal blood made him less of a Targaryen. Could a mongrel tame a dragon? Could a bastard sit the throne?
Could a Strong ever take to the skies?
You smiled at him whenever he asked. You can do all of those things, Jace. I promise. I can't help you with most of them—but at the very least, I can help you learn to fly.
So he found himself on your dragon, seated behind you, his hands tight around your waist. I've never seen Wildfyre so happy to have someone ride him, you laughed. Not even me!
The dragon clicked and grumbled and turned his head to look at Jace, golden eyes approving. Then Wildfyre’s great wings started flapping, his roar thundering through the skies, and suddenly Jace found himself rising higher and higher, the muscles of the great creature rippling beneath him. King’s Landing was getting further away, shrinking; the clouds were getting closer, and Jace felt a chill as the cold damp of them soaked into his clothes. A freezing wind whipped through his hair, felt like ice to his bones, but he screamed and screamed with laughter, heart dancing as he clung to you.
Once you'd steered Wildfyre through the clouds, drifting into the warm twilight, you turned back and threw him a smile.
See? you yelled. Only a Targaryen could be so fearless on dragonback!
Fearless, you called him. He clung to this word: Fearless. I must be fearless. I must not fear my duty. I must not fear the succession. I must not fear the court.
In truth, though, Jace was afraid. He was afraid of being a bastard and he was afraid of losing the Throne, of ruining his mother’s claim. But you were so good at dispelling it all. You were so good at making him brave.
So when his family was sent to Dragonstone indefinitely, he nearly wanted to throw up—because it meant he could no longer see you. He sought you out soon after the decision was made, nearly running through all of Driftmark’s grounds before going to the Queen’s rooms, where he knew you would be.
He found you by Aemond’s bedside, talking to the injured child as he slept. Your fingers threaded through his silver hair; you whispered Valyrian into his ears, soothing and pretty and soft. Jace wished he could understand it, but his mother never spoke it around them. Ser Harwin, being an Andal, only knew the Common Tongue, and so that was the language that Jacaerys had inherited instead the language spoken by kings.
Jace begged to you in his lowly, mongrel tongue, ugly and stiff unlike the melody of Valyrian: “Come with us, please. I know you'll like Dragonstone. No one will stare at us there, no one will whisper. You'll be happier for it.”
He was not surprised when you said no. There was no way you would ever leave Aemond, but he asked anyway, again and again.
“I can't do this alone,” he kept saying. “I need your help. I don't know how to be strong like you. How to be fire and blood.”
You smiled at him. Stepped away from Aemond’s bedside, then took his hands in yours.
“You need not worry, Jace. Your mother will guide you.” Your fingers were so gentle on his. “You will grow into a fine prince, an heir befitting the Iron Throne. And when you do, you can come back to the Red Keep—and you can take me to Dragonstone then.”
Jace tried very hard not to cry. Ser Harwin had made a promise like this before he left his mother—that he would reunite with Jace someday, that he would stay by his side then. But he had never come back, had been taken by the fire at Harrenhal, and then Jace found himself mourning a man whom he was not allowed to grieve—because Jace was not allowed to be a bastard, and so Ser Harwin was not allowed to be his true father.
But he did grieve. He hated losing Ser Harwin, and he could not bear the thought of losing you too.
“You’re not lying?” Jace asked. “You're telling truth?”
He knew it was a childish thing to ask, but you seemed not to mind. You only threw your head back, laughed. “Yes, I'm telling truth! It is my dream to get away from the Red Keep someday, Jace.” You looked at him, almost amused. “I’m counting on you to save me from the Hightowers, my prince.”
And Jace could not help but think, as you departed for King’s Landing and he for Dragonstone, how much he longed to do that. How badly he wanted to take you away from the place that called you both the children of sin, from the people that called him a bastard and you a whore. He wished he could have sworn it as an oath, for then you would know how seriously he would take it.
I will become a fine prince someday, he vowed privately, watching your ship grow smaller and smaller, then finally as it was swallowed by the mist. I will become an heir befitting the throne. I am a Targaryen, made of fire and blood. I am a Targaryen, no matter who my father was.
He woke up everyday and repeated those words like a mantra. Tried not to think about the possibility of failure—tried not to wonder if the lords and ladies of the Realm would revolt should he ever sit upon the throne. If the throne itself would reject a bastard, its edges cutting into his mongrel flesh. It was a solace that he heard you every time he questioned himself: It doesn't matter who our parents are, Jace. Only a Targaryen could be so fearless in the sky. You have a dragon. You have a dragon. You have a dragon.
He had a dragon.
“I have you, Vermax,” he would murmur to the creature in his clumsy Valyrian, and Vermax would rumble at him, reassuring.
The years passed. You exchanged letters with Jace, kept in touch, but the distance felt like a yawning cavern between you still. The older he got, the less certain he became that you ever thought about him the way he thought about you. After all, he was a child when you left; you were nearly a woman grown. Thinking back on it, you had obviously treated him like a child too, holding his hands and trying to soothe his fears with empty words.
Grow up, Jace, he told himself, every time he received a raven and found your letter shorter than the last. Forget about it.
And he did, for a while. He focused on his studies, his swordplay, his duty to the Realm. Several name days passed, and suddenly he was a man grown. His mother was speaking to him of potential betrothals, of Starks and Tyrells and the noble daughters of other great houses. His stepfather was telling him to see the whores in Spicetown since he refused to disgrace any of the servants, and their silks and perfumes were dizzyingly fragrant as he bedded them. The serving maids of Dragonstone and all the distinguished ladies who visited laughed and smiled pretty around him, fawning over his status—for even if he was a mongrel bastard, he was still a Crown Prince.
Jace found himself utterly disinterested in all of it.
Curiously, in some of those moments, he would suddenly think about your letters—shorter and shorter, fewer and far between, but coming still. Hello, cousin. How fare your studies? I find myself the object of whispers once more; what an exciting life people think I must lead. Last month I was leading Ser Criston astray and making him break his oath of celibacy; this month I am carrying Prince Aemond’s child. I wonder whom I will seduce with my temptress ways next month. Perhaps it will be Septa Falyse, or the High Septon himself!
Jace could hear your laughter in your words: carefree, lighthearted, just as you always were when it came to your reputation. But it left a bitter taste in his mouth, thinking of all those rumours, of all those people speaking ill of you. Of knowing he could not return the favour of defending you as you once did him, now that the sea separated the two of you.
The whispers, though, were not something a Crown Prince should be worrying about, and you were not someone an Heir should be thinking about.
Grow up, Jace, he kept telling himself. Forget about it. Forget about it. Forget about it.
But when the day came that he finally had to return to the Red Keep—he could no longer forget.
As he boarded a ship to King’s Landing for the first time in years, he found himself remembering the words you once spoke to him when he was a child—the ones he clung to for years. They felt so fitting now that he’d learned of the Hightowers’ designs for you, of what the Hand intended to do.
You will be a fine prince someday, you'd said. Take me to Dragonstone then. Save me from the Hightowers, my prince. 
He would see you again, Jace thought. And if you so much as breathed the word, he would do everything that you asked of him all those years ago: steal you away from the Red Keep, protect you from the petty court that so often mistreated you, give you immunity from the family that spurned you both. Because now that he was a proper prince—a Targaryen, black hair be damned—that was something he could do.
He could save you from the Hightowers.
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VI. JUDGEMENT, REVERSED
The coming of Princess Rhaenyra and her party was met without announcement, nor fanfare.
Were it not for Jacaerys’ letter to you, you would not have even known that they were going to be in King’s Landing. The tourney was coming up soon—less than a fortnight now—but their presence had nothing to do with it. Supposedly, Prince Daemon had some urgent business to discuss with the King and the rest of House Targaryen. Even Princess Rhaenys had joined them. What would be important enough for the Lady of Driftmark to leave her home was a mystery to you.
Until such matters made themselves clear, however, you would not worry over them. You were only thinking of meeting Jacaerys again. Although you'd received many messages from your first cousin over the years (his preferred raven now knew you well enough to squawk your name), letters were simply not the same as seeing one in person.
And of course it was impossible to see Jace in person. Queen Alicent became oddly bitter every time you requested leave to visit Dragonstone, and Wildfyre was always mysteriously chained up after such conversations. Aemond, as well, despised his half-siblings too much to meet with them during any of your visits to Spicetown, and he never let you go there yourself either.
You are a young woman, and it would be unsafe for you to venture out alone, Aemond always said. If you must go to Spicetown, I will accompany you and guard you from any… unsavoury characters that you may meet.
You had the sense that he was referring more to his nephews than any bandits or rapers, for it seemed not enough to him for guards from Dragonstone to be sent to accompany you.
You looked forward to seeing Jace again, unfettered by neither Aemond nor the Queen. You wondered what the awkward and insecure little prince was like nowadays, what sort of person he'd become. But as you had not heard any word of Rhaenyra’s arrival, you did not go to receive him at the gates—so you spent the day like you would any other. You broke your fast alone, neglected your needlework, neglected your prayers, and resentfully studied household stewardship. You loitered in the throne room, watching the Hand and the Queen settle various petitions. Today, it was mostly smallfolk worried about the price of food, a couple of petty land disputes between minor houses, and an interesting request from House Tyrell to legitimise a bastard—some knight who had served in the Dornish Marches. For some reason, Ser Criston kept looking at him with disdain.
Then, as a reward to yourself for your hard labour, you went down to the training yard in the late afternoon.
Your favourite pastime was watching Aemond practise his swordplay in the afternoons. You used to go for moral support, to encourage him whenever he was beaten—which he always was, because of his previously short and scrawny stature—but now it was always to encourage him whenever he clobbered his opponents, for he always did.
Ser Criston used to scold you for your attendance, saying that a young lady should busy herself with other activities. “You should be studying the Seven-Pointed Star right now, my lady,” he once said, probably at the behest of the Queen. “The violence of the training ground is not something that a woman should be witnessing so often in any case. Bloodshed is usually upsetting for the fairer sex.”
“I know not what you are talking about, Ser Criston,” you replied. You clapped Aemond’s shoulder then—drawing murmurs from onlookers, because hand-to-shoulder contact between cousins was scandalous if you were the one initiating it—and added, “there is nothing more important to me than witnessing Prince Aemond’s improvement on the battleground.”
Ser Criston gave you both questioning looks. “And why would it be so important to you, my lady?”
“Well,” you replied cheerfully, “Aemond and I have an agreement that if ever I am charged with murder, I will prove my innocence via trial by combat and he would be my champion.”
Ser Cole gave you an incredulous look. “Do you plan to commit murder, my lady?”
“No, Ser. It is merely a contingency in case someone should frame me for it. You never know what might happen with all the plotting and scheming in this Realm.”
You were actually speaking truth here: you and Aemond did come to this agreement soon after Prince Daemon Targaryen was taken to trial for the murder of his first wife, which he won by combat. You then went into an anxious spiral about what you should do if you hated your future husband and he was stupid enough to fall off a horse and die like Rhea Royce. Who would save you from a similar accusation?
Aemond immediately volunteered himself, perhaps too eagerly.
“You need not worry about me, Ser Cole,” you said upon seeing his perturbed face. “I wouldn't actually ever commit murder myself. You would know, since Aemond would prove my innocence.”
Aemond’s lip curled. “She would never be found guilty of any crime in the Realm with me as her champion,” he affirmed. “I think it is fair that the lady should be allowed to watch the sword representing her, is it not?”
Ser Criston could hardly deny a royal prince, so he merely sighed and picked up his morning star. “Whatever my prince wishes,” he relented. “Come—let’s give your lady a show.”
The knight had not since protested your presence on the training grounds. Ser Criston hardly even glanced at you today as you approached, weaving through the sparse crowd of knights, squires, and spectators while he and Aemond began their warmups. You were searching for a spot that would serve as the best view of their match, and it was pure accident that your gaze happened to land on an unfamiliar form among the hustle and bustle.
It was not the clothes that struck you—for they were plain, a nondescript black cloak over an equally dark tunic—but his face. Dark curls framing finely carved, fair features. An aquiline nose, a pair of delicate lips curled into an interested smile as he spoke to some companion you could not see. He looked like a Northman, possibly a Stark or an exceptionally beautiful Blackwood. You wondered if he was one of your potential suitors.
Naturally, you had to go introduce yourself. Purely to show your hospitality as a lady of House Targaryen, of course.
“Excuse me,” you said, in the clearest and prettiest voice you could manage. “Pardon me for the interruption, Ser, but I don't believe we’ve ever met.”
The stranger turned to you, his expression quizzical, but reflecting pleasant surprise. As soon as he laid eyes on you, his brows lifted—and a brief silence passed as you took in each other’s appearances.
You were only certain once you saw the three-headed dragon brooch on his cloak.
“Cousin?” the two of you asked simultaneously.
“Seven hells, Jace, I didn't recognise you at all!” you blurted out. You then glanced at his companion for the first time. Sure enough, it was his little brother—still young, but certainly not the small child you remember. “Luke! Gods, you've grown up too! I had no idea you’d arrived!”
Jacaerys made an irritated expression that was comically familiar despite his comically unfamiliar face. “The reception to our arrival was… subdued. Not etiquette to the standard that I would have expected of the Red Keep.”
“Ah. A folly of the Queen, I'm sure.” You smiled at them both. “Forget about her. I'll give you a proper welcome after this match—take you around the old haunts and whatnot. Wildfyre will want to say hi, too.”
“Match?” Jacaerys asked, but he was quickly answered by the violent clang of steel against steel.
Jace’s noble countenance dissipated as he moved into the crowd, beckoning Luke to follow. An excited grin spread across his face as he watched the two figures sparring furiously—as if he were again a child, spectating as Ser Harwin or the other knights of the Kingsguard fought with one another. Ser Criston and Prince Aemond were in another league altogether, of course—perhaps not in skill, but in savagery. They moved viciously and lethally, not bothering to hold back. The swing of Criston's morning star carried brutal weight, but Aemond was himself a lithe weapon, his body honed for the sole purpose of killing. You were unsurprised when his blade ended up pressed against Ser Criston’s throat.
“You'll be sure to win the tourney next week, my Prince,” said Ser Criston, but Aemond did not smile.
“I don't give a shit about tourneys,” he said, and you had to hold back a snort. Perhaps not when he was younger, but he absolutely did give a shit about tourneys nowadays. Not the pageantry or the petty social trappings, of course—but the reputation. Prince Aemond would be loath to seem craven or weak before the knights of the realm, and so he had no choice but to sign up for every tourney in King's Landing and crush every opponent he met.
Your amusement wore off when you noticed Jace and Luke beside you—how tense they'd gotten, how Luke was inching behind Jace. You could not blame them. Aemond had never forgiven Luke for taking his eye, no matter how many times you counselled him to lay it aside lest his rage drive him to madness. It chilled you how he spoke of Lucerys when reminded of it.
Even now, you discerned a subtle anger in Aemond’s body—tightly controlled, but there nevertheless—as he approached.
“Nephews,” he said, “have you come to train?”
Not even a greeting, you thought. Well, he does take after his mother in some ways.
“I'm afraid we’re only here to visit today,” Jace said, and you were surprised at the clean but sharp edge to his words. You did not know he could sound so much like a prince. “We must first attend to urgent matters before we’ll have any time for leisure.”
“I wasn't aware that the Crown Prince would consider swordplay a leisurely activity,” Aemond remarked. “Those princes who are truly of fire and blood, at the very least, do not.”
Fucking hell. Not even two minutes and the bastardy talk had already started. There was fury in Jacaerys’ eyes, and you stepped in before Aemond could fuel it.
“Jacaerys must be one of the few men of fire and blood who are also capable of diplomacy,” you said dryly, “as I know you are, Aemond, when you wish it.”
Aemond gave you a careful look, seeming more amused than anything else. “I wish it when my lady does.”
You smiled, placated. “I always like diplomacy. Hospitality, too. I'll be showing Jacaerys and Lucerys around before our family meets tonight—you are free to join if you wish.”
From the way the two brothers tensed, it was obvious that Aemond was absolutely not free to join. Your cousin had the grace to decline: “Thank you for the invitation, my lady, but I will give you the space to host them. You are better suited for it than me.” He glanced at Jacaerys, and said, “Do make sure you return her to me before it gets too late. I would worry about my cousin if she were out after curfew.”
Jace gave him a look that was as curious as yours.
“You need not worry. You know I would not let any harm come to our cousin.”
Aemond hummed, giving you a meaningful glance that you completely did not understand. “I’ll look for you at dinner.”
“I’ll be… sure to find you?” you replied with uncertainty, still reeling from his words. Return her to me. Aemond left before you could ask him his intent behind the phrase—because he always spoke with intent.
Jacaerys, himself, also seemed confused. “I didn't know my uncle was courting you,” he said, and you gave him a startled, bug-eyed look.
“He isn't,” you said quickly. “Queen Alicent would sooner die than let me besmirch the reputation and honour of her son.”
The elder prince frowned. “He was certainly acting like it, getting all possessive.”
“I suppose Aemond never liked it whenever we spent time with you,” Lucerys observed, looking somewhat anxious.
“He didn’t,” you now remembered. “Don't feel too bad, Luke. He was always like that even before he lost his eye to you.” Aemond loved to monopolise your time as a child and grew sullen whenever someone else had your attention—as if you were being wrongfully taken away from him and would never be returned. Sometimes you felt like a toy being fought over, tearing at the seams. “I guess he never grew out of it.”
“Childish of him,” Jace observed, watching his uncle’s back as he readied himself for another match. “Makes me inclined to take up all of your time tonight.”
You snorted. “That’s childish of you, too. Come on, let's go—at least catch up with me before you and your uncle maim each other.”
“I wouldn't do that to him,” Jace protested.
“I know. It was only a jest,” you reassured him. But an uneasy pit grew in your stomach as you thought of the way Aemond carried himself just now—how none of that lethal violence left his body as he approached his nephews.
It struck you then that you weren't so sure if the reverse was true.
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VI. THE SUN
When you were alone with Jacaerys, his presence felt oddly familiar.
It was unusual, given that the prince was so different now. He had grown, and you had expected things to be strange and stiff between the two of you, but the conversation came easily once Luke departed. Jace’s laugh was the same as you remembered. His smile was the same. He rode on dragonback with you, his arms firm around your waist and his front pressed tightly against your back, and—
—that didn't feel the same, actually. You tried not to think about how he felt against you, how he had obviously grown lean and hard with muscle. It made your stomach flutter in a way that felt suspiciously similar to your reaction to first seeing Cregan Stark at court. You concentrated on the memory of the awkward, insecure boy with whom you had grown up, whom you could have never fathomed attraction to. Jace was the heir to the throne—you absolutely could not consider him desirable.
Also, if your stomach kept twisting like that, you would surely steer your dragon wrong and make all three of you crash.
Wildfyre, at least, did not see him any differently; he allowed Jace to ride him without complaint, and once you all landed outside the Kingswood, he kept clicking and prodding at your cousin with his massive snout, making the prince chuckle.
“I think he missed me,” he said.
“I’m not surprised. You were his favourite.” You glared at your dragon. “Traitor,” you groused in Valyrian, and Wildfyre snorted in response. You sighed. “Look at that attitude!”
“I think he's quite lovely,” Jacaerys said, voice smug. Wildfire crooned, as if in agreement, and snaked his long neck around Jace’s back, rubbing against him like a cat. You gave them both a dirty look.
“Sometimes I think you claimed him behind my back,” you complained, even though you could feel the bond between yourself and Wildfyre, warm and alive like a shared heartbeat. It had been present since the day you were born, as if it had formed while you were still in the womb. Still, there was a period of time before your official claim where Wildfyre adored Jace so much that you were convinced he would abandon you.
“You know that's not true. He's like a puppy around you.” Jace patted Wildfyre’s snout fondly, and the great old lizard chuffed like a dog. You saw the resemblance. “Vermax hatched in my cradle and he’s not nearly so affectionate with me.”
“Vermax is a sweetheart.”
“To you.” The corner of Jacaerys’ mouth lifted. “Remember how he nearly roasted Aegon the one time? And he never let Aemond near him, either.”
“Dragons are influenced by the feelings of their riders,” you pointed out dryly. “Vermax only detested them because you did.”
“Perhaps.” Jace scratched Wildfyre, fingers scraping against glimmering, emerald scales. The spoiled creature rumbled in a way that nearly sounded like a purr. “Are you saying that you’re as fond of me as Wildfyre is, then?”
Your mouth opened, then closed. You were glad that the two of you were alone and outside of the city. If anyone overheard you, or glimpsed your reaction, your reputation would have just been shattered forever. Worse yet, Jacaerys’ amused smile looked terribly handsome to you at that moment. You could not help but think, Well, I wouldn’t mind being pet by you either.
“I suppose your company is tolerable,” you said lamely.
Jace, of course, was not at all fooled. He turned to Wildfyre and said, in what you guessed was meant to be the Valyrian language, “We both know better, don't we?”
Wildfyre clicked in agreement, but your own reaction was not nearly so kind.
“My god, Jace,” you said, wincing. “Was that supposed to be Valyrian?”
He grimaced. “Was it that bad?”
“Terrible. What on earth is your mother teaching you? She's so fluent.”
“She never spoke Valyrian around us when we were children,” he explained, “so I never picked it up. Mostly, I learn from the maesters.”
“The maesters?” you repeated, appalled. You slipped into your native tongue, the timbre indignant: “No wonder you speak so poorly. You can't learn properly from maesters. You need to learn from someone who lives and breathes in the language!”
“There aren't many people in Westeros who do,” Jace replied in the Common Tongue. The two of you began to volley: Jacaerys in the language of Westeros, and you in the language of the old Freehold.
“Move back to the Red Keep. I'll teach you.”
“You’ve tried already. You were a poor tutor, remember?”
“You were a poor student.”
“That doesn’t change your own abilities. Could you even explain any basic grammar to me right now?”
“...you don't need to know grammar to talk.”
“No, but you need it to learn.”
“If I talk at you enough, you’ll pick it up eventually.” You gave him a mournful look, then tested his ear for your mother tongue: “However you do it, you should make more of an effort, Jace. You are a Targaryen, and a dragonlord besides. Valyrian is the language of your forefathers. How can you not know it?”
Jacaerys went quiet. “You know I have always tried,” he said, “to live up to my heritage as best as I can. I have neither Targaryen nor Velaryon features. People look at me and they see an Andal…”—he hesitated—“that is, they see a Strong. I have to show them I am more than that.”
Guilt gnawed at you. “Then I'll help you,” you said gently, in the Common Tongue this time. “Though truthfully, neither the language you speak nor the colour of your hair changes your blood.”
“Only you and Mother have ever thought so.” He looked away. “Apparently people used to think that my dragon egg wouldn't even hatch.”
You put a hand on his shoulder. “Yet it did, and every unbonded dragon responds to you. Vermax and Wildfyre can both attest to your claim and heritage.” You gave him a reassuring look. “Anyway, cheer up. You have more talent at the language than Aegon, silver hair be damned. His Valyrian is shit awful.”
Jace laughed. “Is it really so bad?”
“You’ll see during the meeting tonight. Aemond and I will force some Valyrian out of him—look forward to it.”
His smile faded. “I need to talk to you about that. The meeting, I mean.”
You made a face. “You know I don't want to speak of politics right now, Jacaerys. I'd rather talk about literally anything else, in fact.”
“It would be unwise to do so.”
“I live every day trying to be wise in matters of the court. Please let me be unrepentantly a fool for once.”
Jace gave you a sorry look. “Could I spend the rest of the day in leisure with you, I would. But it would be a disservice to you not to tell you, cousin. It is why I asked for time alone with you in the first place.”
“You wound me, Jace. I thought you asked it for you missed me.”
“Cousin.”
“Alright, alright. Let’s hear it.”
He breathed deeply. “There will be an announcement, one that involves you. In truth, the Hand said to keep the matter quiet until we could meet as a group, but I didn't think it was right, and neither did my mother. The Hightowers are trying to hide from you what Prince Daemon discovered.”
You gave him a curious look.
“What did he discover, then?”
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VII. DEATH
The world felt so distant.
The Targaryens were seated around the Small Council table. King Viserys was absent, his mind addled with milk of poppy, so the Hand sat in his seat while his daughter stood at his side. As if in interrogation, you were at the other end of the table—the object of everyone’s scrutiny—clad in a neutral blue.
It was a powerplay. Jacaerys had predicted that the Hightowers would do it, and he tried to help you prepare. You had planned together what you should say, but the Stranger had stolen your words, your focus, your wits. Otto Hightower spoke and his voice sounded far away, as if your ears were stuffed with cotton. Your heavy breath and pounding heartbeat drowned out all other noise, thrumming alongside your bond with Wildfyre. It was singing with a pain to match your own, for the feelings of a dragon are always influenced by their rider—and he, too, had loved your father.
Otto kept speaking. You did not know why he was even here, really, nor Queen Alicent. Princess Rhaenys sat to your left without Lord Corlys, because this was a Targaryen matter—a grief shared only by those of fire and blood. The Hightowers were outsiders.
“...we must allow ourselves time to grieve your father,” the Hand said, “but the matter of his inheritance should be quickly settled.”
“What?” you asked, voice faint. This is what Jace said would happen, you thought. I should not be surprised.
But here you were—speechless, stupid.
The Princesses Rhaenys and Rhaenyra bristled. Prince Daemon, who sat on your right, openly scoffed. Helaena looked down, and even Aegon had the grace to keep his eyes on the table. He was feckless, a lecher, and he always quarrelled with you—but he was not cruel. He was not cut from the same cloth as his grandsire.
Even he disapproved.
Jacaerys was next to you, standing tall like a sentinel. Aemond watched from across the room, near his mother, in a shade of green so dull that it was nearly black—but green nevertheless.
Why was he not beside you instead?
“Please,” you managed to say, voice quiet. “I would like to hear the news from Prince Daemon himself.”
“As you should. This was not news that should have been delivered by a Hightower.” The Rogue Prince did not bother to hide his derision. “I was treating with the lords in Pentos, and they brought to my attention news of your father’s ship—the one that disappeared when he sailed for Lys. It came to light recently that pirates and sellswords accosted it. They sacked the ship, sank it. Then they took your father for ransom, but apparently he died not too long after from his wounds. Here is the proof.”
And sure enough, he laid before you what was unmistakably your father’s sword. It had been presented to him by the Lyseni while he was being hosted by the First Magister: a weapon from the former Valyrian colonies of Essos. Your mother had been by his side when he received it. In Westeros, she had been considered a common whore, but in Lys, she had been his beloved concubine—yes, a former bed slave, but respected nevertheless. She had thrived in the Lysene court.
You took the blade into your hands, unsheathed it halfway. It was pure Valyrian steel: ancient ore folded many times over, otherworldly hues rippling in daylight. Unlike the Valyrian swords kept by the Westerosi houses, this one had a name carved into it by a Qohori smith: Siglitanor. A word borrowed from Lysene Valyrian, a name chosen by your mother. The letters were as red as the Qartheen jewels encrusted into the guard, which was fashioned with Volantene elegance.
It was, through and through, a sword of Essosi antiquity.
For nearly ten years, you imagined that your father was somewhere in Lys, carrying this sword and speaking its language every morning, every night. Avy jorrāelan. Avy raqan. Ñuha ābrazȳrys. He would whisper these words into your mother’s ear in a courtyard somewhere, their plates filled with persimmons and mangoes and peace. He went to Lys and loved her too much to return. Yes, he abandoned you, but it was to take care of your mother, who deserved nothing less.
And now—now, this sunlit vision was turning to dust before you.
“Your Pentoshi friends—who told them this news?”
“Myrish sellswords who drank too much and bragged of their exploits. The Pentoshi thought I would like to know of their crimes against the Iron Throne and brought them before me. They're being held on Dragonstone now.” Daemon, for a moment, seemed reflective, and the sharp edge of his words softened slightly. “Your father was a skilled diplomat. It was his work that kept the Triarchy in line for so long. He died, and they soon after turned on us—and everyone else in the Narrow Sea. Pentos felt the loss of him as much as we did.”
“Yes, your father was quite the man,” the Hand agreed. “He was also skilled with his coin. He amassed great wealth in the Iron Bank, all profit from the Narrow Sea and the Free Cities. The Iron Bank was never forthcoming with information until now—they thought him alive and kept this from us—”
The coin is mine, Jacaerys coached you to say. It is my inheritance. I will go to Braavos myself and oversee the wealth. By the laws of the Realm, a daughter should inherit her father’s lands and wealth in the absence of a son.
“What happened to my mother?” you whispered instead, still staring at the sword. It shared its name with the mythical blade forged by Azor Ahai, tempered by the blood of his lover. Your mother had been a fervent follower of the Red Temple; when your father asked her to name the sword, she chose to honour her faith.
Would R’hllor really have let her die?
“Yes, your mother,” Lord Hightower said. “Your mother is gone, of course—the Iron Bank was willing to make the assumption after seeing the sword and the prisoners. And as such, yours is the only name that they have listed in ownership of your father’s coin—”
“We may speak of the Iron Bank in a moment,” you said bluntly, interrupting him. “What happened to my mother?”
Queen Alicent breathed in deeply. She clearly meant to chide you for your tone, but Prince Daemon answered before she could, himself unbothered.
“The sellswords mentioned that a woman was present,” Prince Daemon relayed. “She was saved by one of the guards, and the two of them were never caught. The sellswords did not chase them for ransom—they thought her a common whore.”
Then a whore is not such a bad thing to be, you wanted to laugh. Though you had never thought so anyway, because if your mother was a whore, then surely a whore was something to be cherished and pampered. You had always imagined her in a beautiful manse across the sea, hanging on your father’s arm. The two of them were supposed to be laughing in the sun as they drank Myrish wine and wondered how you were doing. They were supposed to be making plans to return to King’s Landing someday, to see you when they received news of your betrothal. You wrote to them everyday when you were a child, asking them what sort of man who they'd like to see you marry. You sealed the letters and asked the sailors passing through Blackwater Bay to take them to your parents in Lys. I don’t know where they are, you admitted to the seamen, but it can't be hard to find a Targaryen prince. The sailors would agree, pat your head, and give you a persimmon or a mango or an orange. You did this day after day after day—because surely your mother would reply to your letters eventually.
Surely, your mother would never forget you.
“Is she alive?” you asked.
“Perhaps. Likely not. The Narrow Sea was a brutal place before I conquered it.”
“But if she survived, where would she have gone?”
“The ship was overtaken at Bloodstone, so likely Tyrosh.”
“Not King’s Landing?”
Daemon gave you a long look. “I will warn you against any wishful thinking, girl.”
It wasn't a wish, you wanted to say. It was a promise. Your mother loved you. She wept when she was forced to leave. Someday I'll come back, she said in Lysene Valyrian, kissing you on the brow. When your grandsire is long dead, I will return and see you again—R’hllor will assure it. And until then, He will protect you.
Your father was supposed to love your mother enough to stay with her. Your mother was supposed to love you enough to someday return. But now your father was a skeleton on Bloodstone, and your mother was lost at sea.
And you—you were all alone.
“I grieve for your loss, my lady,” the Hand said. “But we must turn to the matter of the Iron Bank. That coin was grown from the wealth of the Crown, and as such, it belongs to the Crown.”
“You really have no shame,” Daemon sneered, but the Hand did not flinch.
“The animals of the Reach are plagued with sickness this year. Food has risen in price, and the smallfolk are suffering. Time is of the essence. If the Crown could find the coin to alleviate their burden…”
“The Crown has its own coffers,” you said quietly. The Hand paused, as if surprised by your resistance.
“The coffers are not limitless.”
“The coffers should be managed well enough for hard years.” Your eyes burned hot, but they still met Otto Hightower with hard steel. “If the Master of Coin has misstepped in his stewardship of the Crown’s wealth, I see no reason why I should pay for it.”
“It would not be your wealth being paid. It is wealth belonging to the Iron Throne. Everything from the coin in Braavos to the sword in your hands—”
You could not help it: a laugh escaped you. “You mean to take even my father’s sword from me?”
“It is an heirloom belonging to House Targaryen, so it should be inherited by a man of House Targaryen. Dark Sister was passed to Prince Daemon and not to Princess Rhaenys, was it not? A lady has no use for a sword.”
“An heirloom?” You could not help it—you rose to your feet and held up the blade, and it shone true in the light of the sun. Helaena and Luke visibly recoiled at the bare steel, while Jace watched you carefully. “You think this is one of the swords brought over before the Doom? You think a Mormont or a Stokeworth would have a sword like this? Tell me, Lord Hand—can you read the name engraved here?”
“There is no need, my lady, for you to lose your temper—”
“It says Siglitanor. Do you know what it means? Can you even pronounce it?”
“The name has no bearing on its owner. You are fixating on irrelevant matters, my lady. I caution you not to be so irrational. The issue at hand is the inheritance of the sword, not its name.”
“The name bears relevance to the inheritance, Lord Hand,” you ground out. “It means Lightbringer, named after the sword wielded by the Lord of Light, R’hllor.” Alicent shifted visibly at the mention of your heathen god, her brow knotting, and pressure mounted in your throat, your heart. “No Westerosi heirloom bears the name of this sword, nor its craftsmanship—you may check with the maesters yourself. The sword was a gift bestowed upon my father by the Gonfalioniere of Lys. In his absence, it belongs to my mother, and in her absence, it belongs to me.” You laughed. “You wish to gut me of everything my father left to us, with no respect to our history or our rights.”
“Your father misunderstood your rights, as do you. He represented the Iron Throne in every excursion to the Free Cities, so all wealth and treasures he acquired should be returned to the Iron Throne. And let me remind you, young lady—when the law is misunderstood or transgressed, there are consequences for the criminal.”
You stared at him, incredulous—for while the Hightowers have never loved you, they have never openly threatened you.
The words hung heavy in the air, oppressive to all. Aegon was practically withering; Jace, tenser than you'd ever seen. Aemond appeared unbothered, his expression precise in its neutrality, and this cut deeper than any words from Otto Hightower ever could.
No one dared speak until the Queen cleared her throat.
“Father,” Alicent interjected, watching you carefully. “I do not think it wise to act rashly. The lady is our kin, and we should allow her some grace. Perhaps this is best solved through a formal petition. Let us give the girl a chance to grieve, then present her case to the Throne—if she will even want to make one afterward.”
“And who will oversee the petition?” you asked carefully, trying to control your voice.
Alicent delicately replied, “I will see to it that you are given a fair trial.”
“A difficult task,” you parried, “given that the Hand has overseen most petitions in the past half year while the King has been abed with illness.”
The Hand finally showed his displeasure, his tone severe when he said, “The Queen, in her grace, is offering you a means to avoid punishment for the theft of Crown wealth. It would do you well to show some gratitude.”
You tried desperately to suppress the strangled noise in your throat. Someone touched your shoulder. You glanced to your side; Jacaerys was looking at you, his dark eyes as calm as stone and earth, and you breathed deeply, the knot in your chest untangling some.
“Of course,” you finally replied. “Thank you, my Queen, for giving me the chance to defend myself from these accusations. I shall accept your proposal.”
Alicent nodded. “We find ourselves right now in grief and high passions as we mourn the loss of your father, but we will need time and prudence as we settle this dilemma he left.”
You nearly laughed. Grief is your excuse? you wanted to spit, for it was clear to you—and likely most people in the room—what was going on.
Only Prince Daemon had the nerve to voice it.
“Do you need time to settle this dilemma,” he asked, “or time to regroup? Clearly, you thought the girl would yield to your demands today while you blindsided her with grief. It appears you now need a new strategy.”
The Queen’s jaw ticked. “Good-brother, you misunderstand me. Inheritance law is complex and often at odds with compassion. It would be cruel to wrest away her father’s belongings from her”—Alicent glanced at your sword—“but at the same time, the laws of the Realm must be respected.”
“Fuck the law,” Prince Daemon snapped. “My idiot cousin got himself killed at sea and his sword was acquired by force. It belonged to the sellswords for years before I acquired it by way of gift. It now belongs to me”—you gave him a watery, furious look, but it soon dissipated, replaced by surprise—“and it is now my decision that it should belong to my cousin’s daughter.”
You stared at him, uncomprehending. Mollified. Daemon spoke then in Pentoshi Valyrian—not so different from Lysene Valyrian, but inscrutable to speakers of the Dead Valyrian taught in Westeros: “Viserys and I grew up alongside your father. We knew him well. He would have wanted Lightbringer to go to you—not these vultures.”
Daemon switched back into the Common Tongue as he took his leave, pale eyes cold on Otto Hightower.
“I will see you again during my niece’s petition, Lord Hand.”
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VIII. KING OF CUPS, REVERSED
You did not go to dinner that night.
After the meeting in the Small Council room, you could not wait to get away from your family—Targaryens, Velaryons, Hightowers, and all. You kept yourself poised as you excused yourself, but you broke into a run as soon as you were out of sight, your father’s sword grasped tightly in your hand.
You knew it was a childish thing to do, to run away to Blackwater Bay and cry your eyes out. It was nearly as childish as the way you had just spiralled and crashed and burned in front of the Hightowers in that room, living up to every judgement placed upon you. A heathen who worshipped the wrong kind of god. A perpetual foreigner. The pathetic daughter of a lost whore and a dead prince—someone of such little social consequence that the Hand saw you as easy prey for your coin.
In the back of your mind, there was a growing list of things you meant to do to fix it all. You needed to ask Prince Daemon what rhetoric Otto Hightower was likely to bring up during the petition, for no one had politically jousted with that man more than he. You needed to steal all the ledgers of your father’s ventures in the Free Cities before Tyland Lannister could think of having them confiscated. Perhaps you should even appeal to Princess Rhaenyra for her aid, since her husband was going to be supporting your petition.
Most importantly, you had to think of how to maintain your standing with Queen Alicent while fighting for your inheritance. It would not do to win your petition now only to be met later with harm.
It was a long, intimidating list. You knew you should go back to the Red Keep and attend to it. But now the sun was getting low, a violent blood orange in a dimming sky, and you were still weeping bitterly on the rocky shore. You thought of all the passing ships you'd watched from this spot, all the persimmons and mangoes you cradled in your hands as you hoped your letters would reach your parents. Telling yourself that one day your father would return, and your mother not too long after.
You didn't even know why you were still in this fucking castle if your parents would never come back.
Prince Aegon found you like this: wailing into your arms, cussing out the Seven, cussing out the Iron Throne, cussing out Otto Hightower, shivering because the light was low and now you were getting cold.
“Hello, dear cousin,” he greeted, slurring. He made his way toward you, stumbling through the rising tide before stepping onto the rock you were seated upon. He reeked so badly of Arbor wine that you stopped crying just to wrinkle your nose.
“Gods,” you said, revolted, as he sat down beside you and threw an arm around your shoulders. The last thing you needed was his grimy hands on your ass, which seemed to be their favourite spot to rest. “Get away from me, Aegon. I'm in no mood to humour you today.”
Aegon was so drunk that he yielded instantly when you pushed him: he yelped and tumbled onto his side, landing in a puddle of seawater and weeds. You would feel bad for him if you, too, weren't covered in the stuff—the tide had grown high and now your feet were soaked in it.
“I came to comfort you, and this is how you thank me?” Aegon whined.
“Since when have I ever wanted your comfort?”
“Since you are now in need of it,” Aegon said. He pointed at you. “You are in a miserable state.”
“Thank you for your astute observation, my prince.”
“Don't be so cold. Let me console you. Or if you won't let me console you, at least join me in my cups”—he held out a wineskin, which you suspected was nearly empty anyway—“and we can toast your father.”
“Keep my father’s name out of your fucking mouth,” you spat. “Is this your way of taunting me, Aegon? Rubbing salt in the wound that your grandsire and mother just left?”
“Gods, no. You think I wanted any of that to happen? You were not the only person who ran away as soon as that meeting ended, cousin.” Aegon uprighted himself, his knees knocking against yours. You did not push him away this time. “My grandsire—he’s not a very kind man, is he? And as for Mother… well, you know how she is. You are not the first person to be on the receiving end of either of their… machinations.”
“Are you trying to console me? Because it feels more like I’m meant to be consoling you.”
“I would not be opposed if you did,” he wheedled.
“Well, I'm not going to. Go away, Aegon.” You squinted at him. “How did you even know where to find me?”
“My dear brother was worried about your absence at dinner, and only grew more fretful when the Strong bastards said they had not seen you either. He was nearly in tears, sniffling pretty like the Maiden, when he begged me to help him find you.”
Despite yourself, you guffawed at the image that Aegon had just conjured up.
“He said you'd either be feeling sorry for yourself in the dragonpit or you'd be feeling sorry for yourself by Blackwater Bay. I did not feel like wading through dragon dung, so I chose to look here while Aemond combs the tunnels.”
“Well, you've found me. Now you may go.”
“How am I to leave such a sorrowful, beautiful maiden alone?”
“Quite easily, actually. I may throw you into the sea if you don't.”
“No matter—I will swim back to you.”
“With the state you're in? Ser, you will drown, and I will be accused of murder.”
Aegon shrugged, opening his wineskin and taking a deep draught. “That's all well and fine. I'll be free then of the Red Keep, and you would walk away scot-free. You would not be found guilty—simply request a trial by combat, and my brother would be your champion. He will surely slay any foe who challenges you.”
You gave him a curious look. “Aemond told you of our private joke?”
“Err, no? I just think it’s quite obvious the man would kill for you.” Aegon gave you a confused look. “My brother makes jokes?”
“Yes,” you replied, but then you thought more about it. “No. It’s more like I make japes, and he smiles stiffly, and at times he humours me.”
“Ah, that sounds more like him.” Aegon took another swig of wine. “He’s always been a mirthless lad. I've no doubt you will be solely responsible for any joy in your union when it is formalised. Speaking of which, why has my mother not yet announced a wedding feast for the two of you? Surely she cannot mean to let you give birth to a bastard. She may not love you, but she would not disgrace you either.”
You put your face into your hands. “I cannot do this today, Aegon. Leave me. You may report back to your brother and let him know that I'm feeling sorry for myself out here.”
“No, my lady, I told you—I cannot simply leave.”
You gritted your teeth. “Why not?”
Aegon flailed wildly, wine swishing in his hand. “What if you walk into the sea while I'm gone? I would never recover from it. No, cousin, I will keep you safe until my brother emerges from the dung pit.”
“How chivalrous of you. I will not be drowning myself any time soon, though—I must first face your grandsire in that petition.” You quieted at the thought. Aegon’s buffoonery had distracted you for a fleeting moment, but now you were thinking once more of all the dread and the grief and the fury. “Seven hells. Give me that.”
Aegon smiled at you as you snatched the wineskin from him.
“See, my lady? There is nothing that a drink cannot fix.”
You snorted. “Will it fix this inheritance business for me?”
“I mean for it to fix mine.” Aegon began to pick the seaweed out from his breeches. “Perhaps if I drink myself blind often enough, my mother will disinherit me. Then Rhaenyra and her bastards can sit themselves on that blasted chair and I'll be able to live in peace.”
You were so wrung out that, for once, you could not find it in yourself to dance around the topic of high treason. “The Hightowers will never let you get away from the Iron Throne,” you said plainly. “They’ll never be secure unless you are suffering in that chair. Or your brother, if I should first drown you.”
“Please, cousin. Don't make me beg.”
A laugh escaped you despite yourself. Aegon did not bother to hold back his own amusement, giggling openly.
“You know,” Aegon said, after his chuckles died down, “it may not be an option for me, but you could do it.”
You raised a brow. “What? Throw myself into the sea?”
“No, no! No drowning on my watch!” Aegon threw a piece of seaweed at you in reprimand, which you dodged. “I mean to say—you can run. Fly away on dragonback. Go to Braavos and get all your coin. Exile yourself in Lys and spend the rest of your life in decadence. God knows”—he groaned, sounding wistful—“it is what I would do.”
You considered his words. You had always stayed here for your father, and for your lack of coin and supporters. But your father was now dead, and you had so much coin that you had no need for supporters. “I suppose I could.”
“You'd need to go now,” Aegon said. “I would not tell a soul. Not even my brother.”
“Why help me?” you asked him, suspicious. The two of you had never been all that friendly. Close, perhaps, in the way that non-stop quarrelling would make two siblings close—but not friendly.
Aegon shrugged, as if unsure himself.
“Perhaps the day will come when I will wish to go to Lys and enjoy all the beautiful women there, far from the throne,” he slurred, “and when I do, I shall call on my dearest cousin to host me.”
“Surely, brother, you would not disgrace your sister-wife like that,” a third voice interjected. You and Aegon nearly jumped, seawater splashing around your feet. When you turned around, you saw Aemond—smelling strongly of brimstone and smoke, but not dung, you were glad to notice. He did not seem nearly so happy, giving you a long, severe look. “You were not at dinner.”
It all came back, then—the green tunic, the place next to his mother, his unreadable expression as he watched your humiliation in that council room. The memory robbed you of all your mirth.
“My apologies, Prince Aemond,” you said bitterly. “I lost my appetite when I learned of my father’s death and your grandsire’s machinations to steal his wealth.”
Aemond did not reply immediately. Aegon loudly cleared his throat, then somehow got onto his feet. He swayed from the wine and stumbled in the darkness of nightfall, but managed to walk away nevertheless.
“Well, now that you have each other’s company,” he announced, “I shall take my leave. Take care not to let our cousin walk into the sea, brother. It would break my heart.”
“You tried to walk into the sea?” Aemond asked sharply, and you sighed, tired.
“No, Aemond. It was only a jape. A bad one.”
“Hm. My brother does have a poor sense of humour.”
Aemond offered you a hand, and you studied it warily. When you did not take it, he finally said, “I did not know what my mother and grandsire planned to do in that meeting. The news of your father’s death was as much of a surprise to me as it was to you.” A pause. “Though I would wager you had warning and counsel from the blacks.”
“Jace warned me because he cares about me. I did not receive help from Rhaenyra's faction—do you really think I would care to involve myself in petty spats over the throne?”
Aemond hummed. “I know my nephew has great love for you, but it was not him to whom I was referring.”
A blinding, hot flash of anger rendered you speechless for a moment—how dare Aemond drag succession politics into this? But the rage quickly passed, giving way to clarity. For it must have been a great sum that your father had in the Iron Bank, if Otto Hightower desired it. And if it was great enough for him to seek, then it was also great enough for Princess Rhaenyra to do the same.
Aemond watched as you pondered this, your eyes dropping to your soaking, seaweed-ridden feet.
“Fine. You're right. But why didn't you come to my side once you realised what was happening?” you asked quietly. “During that meeting, I mean.”
“It would not have helped you.”
Yes, it would have, you wanted to cry, I'd have felt better for it. But Aemond was too smart and too serious to entertain such childish notions: you knew he was speaking in purely strategic terms.
“No,” you admitted, “but it would not have hurt, either.”
“Alicent cares greatly about the appearance of unity among our family. Were I to break it, she would cease to trust me, and it would be that much harder for me to help you.”
“And how would you help me?”
“What would you want to be helped with?”
You looked up at him balefully. The money, the inheritance laws, the petition—there was no way that Aemond could do anything about any of it, not without alienating his mother. You had half a mind to ask him to throw you into the sea after all, but based on his earlier reaction, he would likely lock you up in your room if you made such a jape.
With nothing else in mind, you simply said, “I don't want to give up this sword.”
He arched his brow. “Is that all?”
“Yes. Well—no.” You brought a hand to your temple. “It’s more complicated than that. I do want to give up this sword, eventually. But to someone worthy of it.”
You stared at Lightbringer, trying to imagine it in someone else’s hands. Hands that did not belong to your father, but someone who loved you as much as he.
Laughable, as the Hightowers would never let you marry for love.
“Here is what I think, Aemond,” you started. “If this petition works out in my favour, all of my suitors will suddenly be from houses allied with your mother’s faction. I will be made to marry a lord who is in Otto Hightower’s pocket, and he will inherit my father’s sword—and all of that coin in Braavos, too.”
Aemond considered it. “It is fair speculation. You do know how my grandsire thinks.”
“Well, I was raised by his daughter.” When Aemond did not argue with you, you bleakly asked him, “What should I do, then? When I am married to a man who intends only to steal from me, on behalf of the Hand?”
“You could always pray for your lord husband to fall off his horse. I would make sure to prove your innocence after the tragedy.”
You stared at him, as gobsmacked as Aegon was earlier. “Aemond, did you just tell a joke?”
“Would it bring you any comfort if I said no?”
You made a noise that was something between a laugh and a sob. When Aemond offered you his hand again, you took it—standing with his help, shivering as your body was exposed to the night wind. A cloak smelling of smoke and ash was placed on your shoulders, and you gratefully accepted it.
“You no longer wish to marry,” he guessed, watching you fumble with his mantle.
“I wish to marry someone of my choosing.” You found that no words in the Common Tongue could quite capture your anguish, so you relied on your Valyrian: “I did not mind the idea of being used by your family, so long as I could live safely. But I cannot bear the thought of anyone using what once belonged to my father. It is”—your voice broke, but you did not cry—“all I have left of him and my mother.”
“I understand,” Aemond replied, his Valyrian soft, lacking its usual cunning edge. “Focus on your petition for now. Worry not about your betrothal. I will handle it.”
You closed your eyes. You had no idea what he could do, but you trusted him. Aemond was brutally efficient in matters of court and power; you could rely on him.
“Alright,” you said. “I shall count on you.”
The nighttime breeze swept your body again; you shivered, still wrestling with the cloak. Aemond evidently tired of watching you struggle; he brought up his hands and straightened the mantle out for you.
“Are you really thinking of leaving?” he murmured. You blinked, not understanding. “You and my brother—you spoke of leaving for the Free Cities.”
You gave Aemond a long look. His expression was inscrutable, but certainly not happy. There are few people in this world who would worry about me, he had said not long ago. And you had told him, not long after: Just know that you can always write to me, no matter how far away I am.
If you left for Lys, that would no longer be true. You imagined Aemond alone at court, dealing with whatever designs his mother and grandsire had, with only his drunk brother and strange sister for allies—and you, an entire sea away, missing every letter the sailors were meant to give you.
“I could not,” you confessed. “Even if I tried, I think I would eventually have no choice but to return to you.”
He hummed. “Good. I fear I would not have been as kind as my brother in conspiring for your escape. You might have found yourself in trouble with me.”
“Another jest from you?” you remarked. “What a strange day this has been.”
Aemond’s mouth curled, but he did not reply. He merely fastened his cloak of ash around you until it was tight around your neck. And for a moment, in the strange and unreliable light of the moon, his smile looked almost unsettling.
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END PART II
notes: oh god this chapter was so long now that I'm looking at it posted as one piece (versus ao3 where I split it up). you are truly my ride or die if you read all that. but anyway, below are some notes to help clarify parts of this chapter in case you are confused-
clarifying ages:
There's 2-3 year gap between the reader and Aemond/Jace
Jace in the first scene is initially 10, and you are 13 (text refers to you as “nearly a woman” since it was ye olde times, but you were really both kids)
In the present day, the characters are all in their late teens/early 20s.
timeline and other notes:
This chapter (and story overall) diverged slightly from show canon; Corlys Velaryon has not yet gotten injured so the Driftmark succession petition has not happened. This is still the blacks’ return to court for the first time in years though, hence why some of the events played out similarly to that episode.
Jace feels a little more mature in this chapter than he did in the end of S1 (he is closer to how he behaves in S2), and that is because of two things: (1) he is aged up slightly so he is naturally more mature; (2) I thought he was hotter in S2 and wanted to write about that version of him instead lol
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