#this got lost....... i apologize

[cheatsylu]

Your art is BEAUTIFUL. Big fan of your characterizations and posing. :)

If you need requests—my favorite LU character is Four!

Four!!! He's one of my favourite's too! Also, thank you for your kind words <3

[bloodbruise]

Rosestarkiller taking care of virgin james🤗

all the mutuals posting ab virgin james lately thank u for giving me the opportunity to speak on it 🤭

to me, a big part of james' personality is this easy self-assurance. he's always so unapologetic, unashamed to be honest about what he wants.

so he's not even embarrassed when he comes in his pants from just their hands on him. it's just so much. he feels high from it, can't believe what he's seeing, touching, feeling. there are kisses and palms running down his body, a flat chest under his own palm—three of them, actually. evan is licking into his mouth and barty is biting at his throat, he's groping reg's waist. it's the noises too—whimpers, sighs, and giddy laughs—all of it has him over the edge within minutes.

that drives them downright insane, barely holding themselves back from completely ruining james. but reg is gently stroking his bicep, asking, "what do you want to do, baby? we can stop if it's too much."

james shakes his head though, speaking so fast he's almost stuttering, "i can go again, fuck- please, just let me eat you out." he's so eager, almost moaning the words. so barty talks him through it while evan pulls at his pants, sucking off the sticky mess until he's hard again before reg rides him into the mattress.

[traumasurvivors]

I'm feeling really burnt out trying to consistently point out that nuance is important when it comes to my posts.

I'm also feeling really burnt out trying to account for multiple scenarios to avoid getting the angry asks.

It shouldn't need to be said that every one of my posts is not a black and white rule. That there are always circumstances where a post won't apply.

And honestly, I guess what I'm saying is I'm done trying to explain and account for stuff.

Non aggressive responses pointing out nuance are fine, and I don't have the energy to respond to them, but they are fine and will just be ignored.

But aggressive responses/asks will just be blocked from this point forward.

I'm feeling exhausted anytime I check my ask box or activity feed on Tumblr, and it's making me want to delete the app and not blog anymore and I don't really want that. So, in order to keep blogging, I am going to begin ignoring stuff like this.

Also, to clarify, I don't think you're terrible if you feel a need to point out nuance. I'm just really exhausted by it all, and if you aren't being aggressive or rude about it, you're fine.

[chimeracreates]

Awaken - Breaking Benjamin

(also available on YouTube, in better quality/timing)

[galactaknightyaoi]

It's my OCs' first birthday today, yippie!! They're enjoying their birthday with some tiny company and a horribly baked cake. But it's the thought that counts!

These are Pai, Aurelio, and Lizzie. They are a couple and run a diner together in the low suburbs of Halcandra. Their shop also serves as a safe space and shelter for other Star Borns just like them.

They also tend to take in the more little ones of their kind, soon after they've first formed. They look after them and teach them stuff, before letting them go to live independently. But they're always welcome back in their house! Be it for shelter, or a nice cup of coffee.

More about them under the cut. Be warned it gets kinda long.

Pai's ability is Cook. When he was little, he used to use his ability to make food to share with his whole neighborhood as a way of uniting everyone.

Since then he's been steadily building towards a goal, to open his very own Diner. He wanted to create a space for his community to thrive in, though he was severely disadvantaged in such a large city.

He's not one to give up and he always looks on the positive side of things. He tends to spoil the kids they look after with treats, and has a hard time saying no, so he often takes on more than he can handle.

He is the one that looks after the well-being of the kids, and generally, things that require a bit more... Tact. He looks after them when they're sick or injured, which is how he ends up meeting future GSA founders Arthur, Erebus, and Anansi.

Aurelio grew up in a scrapyard with 6 others of their kind, being kept there as guard dogs for the paranoid old man who owned the place. They were encouraged to fight each other for fun, which is how they got the scar across their face.

When they got too big and troublesome, most of them were kicked out of their home and left to fend for themselves.

Aurelio's Spear ability eventually landed them a job as a Knight for Halcandra's elites, where they worked alongside a few of their friends. Their job was to guard the meeting room and defend their assignment from threats.

A few years into this job, they and other soldiers were given a mission. A pair of dragons were nesting at the bottom of the Haldera Volcano, they had to get them out. Dragons are calm if not provoked, so relocation shouldn't be difficult...

As it turns out, the dragons were a mated pair. A male and a female, and they were viciously protecting their egg clutch.

In the battle against the dragons, Aurelio was injured and burned by fire, but their natural fire immunity allowed them to be one of the few survivors. Nevertheless, the Knights were successful in their mission and managed to drive the dragons out.

The 4 eggs that weren't crushed during the battle were passed off to the Ancients for research. They became the Guardian Angel Landia later on.

She was forced to retire from Knighthood at age 31. Due to the lasting effects of their injuries, Aurelio is the one who spends most of the time with the children. For better and for worse.

Because of their childhood, they have very skewed ideas of how to treat children. She'll often put them in dangerous situations unintentionally since she has no frame of reference to tell her that taking kids out to the Gator Pond isn't a very good idea.

Aurelio teaches the rougher life lessons. They've been through quite a bit, so they want the kids to learn how to defend themselves, and to be careful and not have others take advantage of them.

She does most of the disciplining and the one that gives timeouts and other such punishments. She is of the opinion that sometimes rough love is necessary to set someone straight. She's calm and loving, but a bit stuck in the old way of doing things.

Lizzie, real name Angeliz, is a 2-time college dropout who grew up upper class despite her species' disadvantage. She never had many friends growing up, since other kids didn't really like her, and resigned herself to being what her parents wanted her to be.

She tried to study medicine but quit after 2 years. Not wanting to further disappoint her parents, she went into law. Which she also hated but tried to commit to finishing despite how miserable it made her.

Meeting Pai and Aurelio helped her get through the year, but after Aurelio was injured, she quit law and started living with them. She helped Pai balance his business with taking care of Aurelio and eventually used some of the money she still had left to give Pai's Diner the little push forward it needed.

Despite the many etiquette classes she took as a child, Lizzie completely lacks social skills. She's a total disaster, especially when talking to someone she likes. Once she gets comfortable, her true personality starts to shine through.

She's a huge slob and kind of vulgar despite her cute appearance. She's easily angered and does not like to be teased, which makes putting up with bratty kids more difficult for her.

She tends to treat kids as little adults instead, which causes her to not be very mindful of their sensitivities. Even when in a good mood, trying to do her best, she always ends up saying the wrong thing and makes everything worse.

She handles the business aspect of their Diner, crunching numbers and reading over legal documents. She's really smart and knowledgeable, so she's the one who tends to teach kids reading, writing, and math.

Her ability is Bubble. She never used to like it, it was silly and useless to her, so she kept it hidden for years. After meeting her partners and becoming happy, she's started blowing bubbles more frequently. The kids love them.

[27-royal-teas]

look ive seen a lot of weird takes about the we didn’t start the fire cover because apparently (?) some people are mad (??) because ‘anyone can put together words that rhyme, they should have put the events in chronological order’ (????) and I’ve decided that look, it doesn’t matter if it’s chronological, because this is it. It’s events that matter to this generation, and it SHOULDNT sound exactly like billy joel’s version. they’re not going to be billy joel. NO ONE is going to be billy joel. the point of a cover is to make it your own and by making the events out of order it seems more frenzied and crazy, which, to be honest, the events it covers ARE. it IS crazy. and to end with ‘world trade, second plane’? that is INSANE. I got chills. that is a moment that the people who were alive during the event will remember FOREVER. it literally changed the entire course of history and started a spiral of events not only politically but musically as well, starting in an idea and ending in we’ll carry on. It makes perfect sense to end a song about the chaos of the modern and recent world on an event so defining in people’s- relatively recent- lives. and I saw this pointed out too (I believe by @thekintsugikid) and I wanted to mention it. fall out boy says, ‘we’re trying to fight it.’ In Billy’s version, he said ‘we tried to fight it.’ and look. we are trying. The world is going to shit. We’re all going to die someday, probably in some gruesome way. but we’re trying. we’re trying to fight it. we have hope, this younger generation. we won’t give up. we will survive. persistence, I think, is the biggest part of glory. and so, it just means something to me. it doesn’t have to be in chronological order. it doesn’t have to be perfect. the boys had fun, and that’s what matters, but I really think that the cover does reflect us overall

[seawing-vibes]

Some images of my Tsu plush from Creep Cat Toy Co. !!! I love her lots one of my fav plushes <3 !! Her glow spots are glow-in-the-dark fabric ,, its super neat !

[jamiesfootball]

Anyways. Back before season three aired, my working theory for What Ted's Deal was - with his advice to Jamie, with the panic attacks that were layered Jamie and his son - that it would turn out that his late father had also been abusive, but that with his father's death Ted had never processed it.

Obviously the show didn't go that route, but in general these were the points that I was daisy-chaining together to build something of a narrative flow:

Ted preaches kindness and positivity but also struggles with his own repressed anger and inability to be direct in what he wants. He continually, pathologically, puts people before himself, to the point that it's becoming a breaking point in his marriage.

Ted repeatedly praises 'women' for being the more emotionally intelligent of the genders. He looks at toxic masculinity as not just a thing to be examined and overcome, but the root of why men struggle.

He himself is a product of the same toxic male behavior, and while he tries to lead by example as an individual, there's a part of that culture that he almost sees as... natural? Like a foregone conclusion. A lot of his methods for dealing with the team in season one happen within the same social boundaries he decries. If he can get Roy to step up, if he can get Roy and Jamie to stop fighting and call a truce, then everything else will fall in place, because men follow a hierarchical structure. This is How Locker Rooms Work, and-

I always go back to Jamie's first, open receptiveness to Ted's 'one in eleven' speech as the first sign that Ted doesn't know how to deal with things directly. This scene reads as Ted being very taken aback by Jamie's willingness to listen. It has shades of their later scene at the Crown & Anchor in it, with Ted being the one who pulls away from a conversation that has the ability of getting emotionally direct and real.

Ted's repressed anger. His shouting at Jamie in 1x06 over practice, but also his shouting at Nate when Nate tries to stuff the letter under his hotel room door.

Ted emotionally reaches for the bottle like. A noticeable amount of times. But especially when he's getting divorced.

Every Sunday afternoon Ted's father used to take him to a sports bar. From age of 10 til 16.

Ted's mom is completely incapable of being direct

Ted and his mom never processed or talked about his dad's death

Ted looks devastated when he sees Jamie with his father in the boot room, but ultimately walks away

Ted sends Jamie a token to show he's not alone (Ted soldier)

Next time Jamie tries to talk to Ted at the bar, Jamie opens with addressing the subject directly (the Ted soldier) and Ted deflects. Asks about City. Won't look him in the eye. Doesn't say anything to Jamie admitting he left City to piss off his dad. He just says that line about how sometimes having a tough dad is what makes you better.

He thought he knew what he was doing [about Jamie] but Sam 'went and unsettled it.' Some people aren't lucky enough to have good dads.

Ted welcomes Jamie back but keeps his distance (much more than in season 1).

Ted begins having panic attacks that feature Jamie and his son.

Ted admits panic attacks linked directly to his father's death.

So this takes us through season two, and at this point my working theory was what if it turned out that Ted most of Ted's Ted-ness had been an active effort on his own part to become something less like his own father? It would explain his disdain for male-coded behaviors while also explaining why he seems unable to truly break away from them. it would explain his people-pleasing habits (and meeting his mom and knowing she is also allergic to asking for things, I think this could still fit as a trauma response). It would explain his putting women on a pedestal, if he had a bad male role model to begin with. It would explain how his demeanor around Jamie changes so much when they have the 'tough dads' talk turning into something closed off when his body language with Jamie has always been open before (and there's a lovely parallel with how they're both sat at the bar in that shot too). Hell it would add additional weight to that talk if it turned out he was also speaking of himself. His panic attacks would make sense, seeing himself in Jamie but also his son and his own role as a dad.

That, plus Ted being a character we regularly see drinking something harder than wine or beer, usually when he's emotionally stressed. Plus Ted's dad bringing him to a sports bar every Sunday for years, and at a young age too. Plus Jamie's dad being an alcoholic. That's where I thought this was going- I thought it would turn out that the late Lasso had also been an alcoholic and a tough dad. It just seemed the obvious conclustion at the time, to make the Ted & Jamie parallel into a full parallel.

Then you add in the fact that Ted married his college sweetheart and then waited until they were in their thirties before having a kid (In the midwest. Where he definitely would've been pressured about it) and all of this to me added up to a troubled man who struggled with the idea of becoming a father long before he had a son. Someone who spent years creating a facade, pretending (like his mom) that things were okay. Someone who maybe never felt right blaming his dad for any of it, not when it became so clear at the end how much his dad was struggling.

Only to have that facade crumble the second someone else from similar circumstances showed up to challenge it.

His dad was a product of his time, the same way that Ted is a product of his dad, the same way men are just a product of toxic masculinity, and Ted doesn't know how to 'deal' with any of it but he'd thought he'd gotten to the point in life where he had some solutions. Only to find that those solutions didn't work when held up to a mirror.

So yeah. That was my theory. Then season three happened, and I realized that unfortunately my theory had a flaw. See, I was so busy looking for a Watsonian diagnosis that would make Ted's idiosyncrasies make sense, that I completely missed the fact that the problem was Doylist to begin with. The show writers never meant for us to read into all of that, because the show writers themselves didn't see anything contrary, worrisome, or tone-deaf about Ted's behavior. Not from a toxic masculinity standpoint, and certainly not from the standpoint of discussing abuse of a male character.

It's not Ted who dismisses Jamie's dad's abuse. It's the writers. Which unfortunately means, since Ted by extension is the show, that it is Ted. Which is why all of us are left watching scenes like the 'tough dads' scene or the Mom City scene and going-

What the hell, Ted?

[24bughours]

SMILE FOR ME FANS UNITE

[collegeboysam]

i know the point of the fight between armand and louis in san francisco isn't about "who wins" but it's baffling to me that people think louis "won" that argument. armand's last words made louis want to kill himself 😭 that's the definition of winning a fight i think

[breezypunk]

the art of touch.. ♥︎

(I'm not sure how they managed to keep their clothes on hehe).

[spacedlexi]

i actually love thinking about preS4 vinerva and how their relationship deteriorates throughout the season and how it relates to the clemvi romance and just violets character in general but unfortunately some people cant be normal about them so instead i just gotta keep it to myself

[ameles]

Enter the true main character, Pippin the Turkish Van. /j

Navigation | Part 1 Start | Previous | Next

[turnipoddity]

i had a dream that you were posting the WILDEST shit. like, not even shitposts they were all serious but they were so insane no one was taking them seriously so you made a post saying that your recent posts weren’t meant as a joke and lost like 300 followers

MA’AM…

[jrueships]

im going into my new work tomorrow, first time ever😐

[mistmarigold]

What if Sunjae doesn’t die the night before? (Lovely runner au) / Part 7

All other parts here.

—

Sunjae wakes up with a start.

With breaths coming out in gasps and sweat beading on his face, Sunjae grabs his heart, gently caressing it almost as if rubbing away the pain. He picks his phone and finds Sol’s contact, almost calling her before seeing that it was midnight.

Sunjae heads out of his room and pours himself a glass of water, his hand shaking to the point that he had to grab it with his other hand to settle somehow.

He walks to his balcony and steps out, breathing in the chilly air, the harsh wind slapping him back to reality. Sunjae sits on the bench and leans against the glass door, closing his eyes and trying to take deep breaths.

For a moment, he wonders if it happened because he stopped taking his pills - any pills. It had been some time since he stopped, it wasn’t an intentional decision and he didn’t even realise it until a week had already passed. So he never went back on them. He was sleeping better, eating better, and he was writing again. All three of those things he hadn’t been able to do without medication since his insomnia kept getting worse by the year.

It’s been so many years and yet it felt like everything happened yesterday. His nightmare was too real, with varied details but it all ended with the same outcome: Sol unconscious and bleeding while he’s helpless.

Sunjae shakes his head, trying to shake away the images even if his heart raged in his chest. He desperately wanted to call her. But it was far too late and she was probably fast asleep.

Lately, Sol had been working with Hyunwoo on their film and was quite busy. He heard a lot from Hyunwoo but rarely ever from Sol. They weren’t friends so it made sense especially with Sol so frustratingly adamant about their idol-fan relationship / neighbours that never met (as per her).

Last night, Hyunwoo had called him up just to sing praises about Sol. He talked less about work and more about how Sol had been a godsend for their project - it made him smile.

He realised he was smiling now too, his heart calming down gradually.

Sol had been the greatest mystery of his life. He felt strange thinking about her in those terms even though it was the truth. He knew her long before she ever knew him. Back then, he had known her schedule, her friends and even her crush. He knew the routes she used to take and where she worked. At one point, he was the human pillow for her even if it gave him cramps and ended up with renting a movie he had no business renting (as a teenager).

He was there for her in her most vulnerable moment.

But that’s where it ends. He had no idea how she spent all these years since then. He couldn’t tell her that she made his life better by coming back into it.

He couldn’t tell her that he had loved her since they were in school. Or that he was the one who had ruined and saved her life back then.

That he still gets nightmares of her accident, always ending with him losing her (before he even had her).

Sunjae sighs, his body still, even if frustration and yearning courses through him.

Sol was the greatest mystery of his life because he was never really sure about anything when it was about her. She turned him into a ball of knotted, conflicting emotions that had nowhere to go.

Sunjae knew sooner or later, they’d have to talk it all out. It was selfish. Because she didn’t need to revisit her past and why should she go through it just because he wanted her to know where it all began? Wasn’t it enough that he didn’t wake her up in the bus back then because he was a lovesick coward and ended up destroying her life?

There was never any clear direction or answer. He wanted to lay it all out so they can move forward, whatever it may be. But then, a part of him also feared losing her all over again. Yet, keeping all of this from her felt like a betrayal.

He didn’t think that way before but the more he got to know Sol, and vice versa, he constantly felt like he was betraying her by not telling her the truth. The entire truth, not half-baked story about being neighbours. She deserved to know the truth.

He just wished he knew if she wanted that. She seemed happy and settled with her life, even if there were a lot of struggles. She always puts on her optimistic, brave face with that signature beaming smile.

He didn’t want to do any damage, not any longer. Once was enough. If they hadn’t met again on that bridge that night, maybe it would’ve all been better for everyone.

*

Half an hour later, Sunjae found himself standing at the same spot they had met that night. The temperature had dropped more and the wind had picked up. He was chilled to the bone but he couldn’t find it in himself to go home.

He truly felt like his heart would burst open but his mind remained clinically empty.

“Sunjae?”

He really thought he hallucinated that voice. Given how his night was going, he wouldn’t be shocked.

Sunjae turned to the side to see Sol with her friend farther behind, talking on call.

“What’re you doing here?” Sol asked.

He gave her a small smile, “I was just getting some air.”

She looked around, “it’s a bit too chilly to do that, no?”

A pause.

“Are you okay?” She asked at last.

He nodded at her, with a reassuring smile, “everything is fine. Why are you out at this time?”

Sol got confused for a second, “oh, we were just walking back to Hyunjoo’s car where it’s parked. It was a lot of traffic earlier so we decided to walk to the festival and well let’s just say we got carried away.”

“Would you like me to drop you?”

She shook her head, “no need, it’s right around the corner!”

“It’s getting colder by the minute. Let me drop you. Maybe I was supposed to be here so I could do this,” he suggested, looking over at her friend who was finishing her call and walking towards them.

Sol chuckled, “interesting hypothesis but really, we’ll be fine.”

Sunjae looked over at Hyunjoo and asked, “can I drop you to your car?”

She spared a moment to Sol, hesitated, almost pleaded with her eyes before muttering a soft, “yes please, it’s too cold.”

“Sure, come on in,” the three of them walked to Sunjae’s car while Sol and Hyunjoo argued in hushed tones.

Sunjae opened the passenger door for Sol as Hyunjoo helped her in the car, Sunjae packing away the wheelchair and putting it in the trunk while Hyunjoo settled in.

Their car wasn’t parked too far and what would’ve taken them 15 mins to walk, they reached in 5.

“Thank you so much, Sunjae-ssi. I’m sorry for bothering you but I am very grateful - the cold was too much,” Hyunjoo said, about to get out of the car.

He looked at Sol, “is it fine if I drop you? It’s late already so Hyunjoo can go home and I can drop you?”

Sol looked at the time.

“Oh no, I’ll drop her. I got my car for her so it’s basically hers anyway. Don’t worry, thank you-“

“Sunjae can drop me. It’s fine, Hyunjoo. He’s right, it’s getting late and you live far from me,” Sol twisted around to say it to her.

“No, but-“

“It’s okay, really. I don’t mind,” Sunjae affirmed.

Hyunjoo looked at Sol, gauging her reaction. Whatever she saw on her face assured her enough that she said bye and went to her car.

“I’m sorry for bothering you, Sunjae,” Sol said.

He shook his head, “no, you aren’t. I offered.”

She gave him a small smile while he looked ahead, focusing on the road.

The silence was neither uncomfortable nor awkward. It was just there, existing between them.

For a moment, Sunjae thought it reflected all the years that went by between them, without Sol knowing anything. There was nothing to be said or done, time went by as it was supposed to. Neither was he waiting for her or expecting anything from her. Some days, he wondered if seeing Sol that night at the bridge was a fluke. A hallucination or a long dream that he’s supposed to wake up from.

“Thank you,” Sol whispered, fiddling with her hands.

“You’re welcome, it isn’t a big deal,” he took a quick look at her.

A pause.

“No, I- thank you for dropping me. But I meant to thank you more for introducing me to Hyunwoo. I’ve been working with him and it feels like a distant dream is finally taking shape.”

Sunjae could hear the wistfulness in her voice. He turned to find her smiling at her hands before looking up at him.

“I know I said things that day, and I just realised I never properly told you or thanked you about it.”

Sunjae smiled at her, “you don’t need to thank me, I just connected you both. Everything else took shape on its own. You are doing things yourself, Sol.”

She nodded, “perhaps. But still, thank you for trusting me enough to do this for me.”

Sunjae shakes his head, unsure how to respond. There was so much unsaid between them and he wasn’t sure how to say that trusting her was the easiest thing he has ever done in his life, without freaking her out.

So he let the silence be, basking in knowing that Im Sol was in his life, in his car, right next to him. And she was smiling.

As they rounded the corner to Sol’s apartment, her bag fell off her lap and on the floor of the car.

“Hold on, I’ll pick it up. I don’t want you to hit your head,” Sunjae brings the car to a stop.

“I can pick a bag, you don’t have to do that,” Sol replied in a small voice.

She bent down with her arm stretched, seat belt stretching against her, when Sunjae gently pulled her back.

Sol didn’t look at him.

Sunjae began, “Sol, I didn’t say that because I thought you couldn’t do it on your own. Of course, you can pick up the bag, what’s the big deal about that?”

Sol didn’t say anything.

“Can you please look at me?”

Sol closes her eyes for a moment before turning towards him.

“You’ve been following Eclipse for a long time, right? So I’m sure you know a lot about me. For instance, my love language-“

Sunjae realised his error a bit too late.

“I mean to say, every time I offer to do something for you, I’m not saying it because you can’t do it yourself or because I’m pitying you, or any such thing. I’m doing it because I consider you-“ Sunjae trailed off.

“Because you consider me?” Sol probed.

His hand clenches by his side, “Important. It’s because I consider you important to me. And I like doing things for important people in my life - that’s it. I know we’ve had this conversation before but I want to say it again: please don’t think I’m ever pitying you just because you use a wheelchair. You’re still you even if things were different.”

Sunjae opened his seat belt before leaning over to Sol, doing the same for her and gently putting the belt back in place to prevent it from snapping against her.

Next, he bends and stretches his arm to grab her bag near her legs. His thumb grazes against her leg and Sol moves a bit.

“Here you go, it wasn’t so hard, was it?” Sunjae teases.

“Still, I’d rather you don’t do this. I don’t want to keep owing you favours or bothering you or thanking you. It feels weird,” Sol bites her lower lip.

“What exactly?”

Sol takes a moment to answer.

“I know we were neighbours and everything but I’ve always seen you as a …star, far away in the sky. Someone unreachable, almost fictional. And then one night, magically, you are walking towards me with an umbrella and it feels like a dream.”

She chuckles, “You see, if you walk into my bedroom right now, you’d realise how truly …far you are from me. I literally have posters of you, Sunjae!”

“Strangely, I’m confused if I should be flattered or creeped out.”

(He couldn’t care less.)

“Exactly, exactly! I feel way out of my depth sometimes. Like it’s all happening to someone else and I don’t personally know Ryu Sunjae. I know you used to go to the school across from me but it is a different thing to know that as a fan, and different to know while you’re right across me. You’ve never really existed in my orbit until that day-“

“What day?” Sunjae interrupts.

“Huh? Oh, I don’t think you’ll remember but this one time you guys went for a radio show and I got a call from you,” Sol recalls, cringing in the process, “actually it’s good that you don’t remember because I was really out of it and super rude.”

That day never really left Sunjae, much like everything else when it came to Sol.

“And you basically…. made me want to live again,” Sol gives him a soft yet wide smile.

“I remember that day.”

It slipped out before Sunjae registered. Sol’s smile dimmed a bit.

“You do? But it’s been so many years…?”

He shrugs, “I guess some things stay with you.”

Hesitantly, she asked, “did you know it was me before this conversation?”

He wanted to deny - let the past remain where it was. They weren’t ready to go there yet. But he owed her truth.

“I did.”

“How did you know that?” She turned more fully towards him.

It was Sunjae’s turn to look away and stare ahead.

“You said I’ve never existed in your orbit. What if I tell you that you’ve always been in mine? I knew you since we were in school. Since before I was a singer, writer or or a celebrity - when I was a swimmer.”

Sol’s eyes widened a fraction.

“All these years later, I don’t know how or why we met again. But that night at the bridge, I knew who you were, Sol. You were in my life before I had anything at all. You even attended one of my performances back in high school. So you literally have been there all along, forever existing in my orbit.”

Silence stretched between them, with both lost in thoughts (Sol) and memories (Sunjae).

Sol’s phone buzzing in her lap got their attention as she says, “it’s getting late, I should leave.”

Sunjae nods and turns to open his door, Sol’s hand on his shoulder pauses him.

He looks at her hand first and then at Sol who was looking down.

“There’s a lot I don’t …remember from back then. Maybe I saw you and met you as well? Just like you knew about me, perhaps I did as well? We might not have been friends, sure. I know as a fan I would’ve loved to say that if I knew Ryu Sunjae back then, there’s no way I would’ve forgotten him!” Sol chuckled up at him. “But the truth is there’s a big period that I don’t remember at all.”

“Is there a reason?”

She shrugs, “I suppose there is, yes. A part of me wants to remember everything but the other part is fairly …scared even though I’m sure it wouldn’t be the same. Secondly, it isn’t that out of the blue I mean I’m in my 30s, surely it’s okay to not remember your high school stuff?”

Sunjae laughs and nods at her, “it’s okay, you don’t need to remember. You’re fine as it is.”

Sol smiles widely at him.

Sunjae gets out of the car and opens her door first before going to grab her wheelchair from the trunk. Once he was back by her side, Sol was ready to go with her legs on the side.

Sunjae holds out his hand that Sol wonders about for a second before grabbing it and clutching it tightly. With her other hand, she holds on to the car.

As she puts her body weight to shift to her chair, her coat gets snagged on something at the console, pulling back Sol and making her stumble. Sunjae’s arm instantly goes around her waist holding her up before helping her settle back in the passenger seat.

“Are you okay?” He asks, leaning over her with his arm still around her waist.

Sol nods at him, attempting to give him a small reassuring smile before saying, “it’s okay, it’s okay, don’t worry.”

Her death grip on his other hand was saying otherwise but Sunjae decided to keep that to himself instead.

“Okay, let’s do this again then?”

Sol nods at him.

“At the count of 3, 2, ..1.”

Before Sol had even registered properly, Sunjae had boosted her up with his arm by her waist and shifted Sol to her chair.

She blinked and shook her head lightly, still gripping his hand. Sunjae smiled down at her, leaning a bit over her while waiting for her to let go (but not wanting it one bit).

When Sol finally realises, she abruptly lets go and clears her throat, looking away. Sunjae wanted to laugh so bad but instead he picks up her bag from the car and hands it to her, their fingers brushing ever so lightly that he really thought it was his imagination. It was Sol’s instant gaze up at him for a breath of a second that assured him that it did happen.

“Thank you for dropping me,” Sol whispered.

“No problem, let me-“

She interrupted, “you don’t have to walk me to my door. It’s already super late and I don’t want anyone seeing you here and troubling you even more. Please, Sunjae.”

He was about to protest but sighed and gave in, nodding at her.

“Goodbye and get home safe,” Sol does a tiny wave before turning around to leave.

“Sol!”

She turned again to face him, her brows furrowed in question.

Sunjae takes a deep breath and goes for it, “trusting you was the easiest thing I’ve ever done in my life, I wanted you to know that.”