#this got away from me while I was typing
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ivymarquis · 3 months ago
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Ivy bitches about stuff under the cut
Apparently I need to remind people that while I am not a nurse, I work 16 hour shifts in healthcare. I have a real life, bills, and a senior horse whose health I am constantly stressing over.
I am fucking tired. Fandom is a silly little fun thing I do to cope with the insane amount of stress I am under in my actual life.
Most of y’all are great, but it is god damn infuriating to see that I have gotten a comment on a series that I updated two weeks ago and the comment is;
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I have left fics un updated for literally over a calendar year. I usually post completed “one shots” in which everything is concise and finished whether the piece is 1.2k or 12k words so I don’t normally get inundated with the “more more more!!!” shit, and while I have been having a fucking blast with the zombie fic, I have definitely noticed a shift in the type of comments that I receive specifically with it and yall are getting on my last fucking nerve about it.
I actively keep people from dying irl. None of y’all are paying me, I don’t take donations and I do this shit for free for the giggles and little else in my precious off time. What the fuck happened to good job 👍🏻
This person has had the comment deleted and I blocked them, so they won’t be seeing this little bitch fest of mine and no one should be able to find out who they are. But god damn.
If you are a reader for the love of fuck, stop asking us for more and just say you’ve enjoyed/appreciated/whatever what we’ve already put out.
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just-null · 1 year ago
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I spent all my tv time watching the episodes that noritoshi appeared in over and over again literally squealing and kicking my feet whenever noritoshi is on screen that my family is just sick of my shit
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Noritoshi scolding abt using indoor voices...... swoons....... He would be so orderly and nagging abt it too... uwaa....... coughs
you and me both, bro. The way Noritoshi presents himself with such grace and stoism is so fucking beautiful, even my ancestors possess me to let out their shock. the way his type of character talks, too, with formalities and like he has an image to uphold... HOW CAN YOU NOT YELL AT THAT. Not only that, but he's so... flowy.... from his clothes to his hair and the way he uses his bow in the fight scenes..
the fight scenes served hella cunt. I love shonen sm. Noritoshi fight scenes are so good.... but stop fucking giving him concussions @ gege
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alongtidesoflight · 4 days ago
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so here's my honest thoughts on dragon age: the veilguard, after ~40 hours of playing. i finished the main quest after having finished all companion quests and major faction quests. just to clear up what content i saw, i played as an elven transmasc rook who is a member of the lords of fortune. he romanced lucanis (although after finishing the game i'm now leaning towards taash). i don't know what's happening in playthroughs that have a different race, gender identity, romance or faction going on.
full spoilers ahead, i mean it. don't read further if you want to avoid them. i don't want complaining about it in my asks.
oh and also, if you're worried because of a few negative reviews online i can comfort you by saying don't give a fuck about a certain big name youtuber who is very much tied to bethesda franchises giving this a negative review. i'll explain why.
i'm starting off with the things i liked
the game looks really pretty. i was worried it wouldn't feel like thedas anymore (with them trying to "focus on northern thedas only" i thought they'd make a clear cut in environmental design. they do and they don't. it's complicated. i'll elaborate on it when talking about the negative stuff). anyway it does. minrathous feels like kirkwall. treviso enchanted me like the winter palace did. the hossberg wetlands reminded me of the hinterlands and a couple other inquisition maps. arlathan looked like... arlathan. the crossroads were different, but familiar. overall i like the way it looks and feels. it's thedas, with a twist. it's a good one, and gives everything a solid but unique feel.
combat is top tier. if you're a hardcore dragon age player you WILL miss the tactical aspect of it for a bit, but i promise you, once you're used to the way the combat works, you will be lapping that shit up. and once you get to ability combos you'll mourn the control you used to have over your companions in battle a bit less
the MAIN quest and its story. i expected worse, way worse. and for a while the game even had me tricked (harr harr you'll get it in a second) it is Really That Much Worse. but holy shit was it good. i walked away satisfied ngl.
your choices have SOLID weight. there's consequences, good AND bad. i got minrathous blighted, ruled over by venatori, and the leader of the shadow dragons ultimately died because of my decisions. i made those at the beginning and throughout the game. he died at the end. DAVRIN died because i didn't expect what i was saying to have that much weight. i thought i was in the clear. he had hero status. well turns out, your choices can still get your companions killed even if you do everything right. i fucking love him. he shouldn't have made that sacrifice just because i told him to do everything it takes once.
the inquisitor, morrigan and dorian being there, surprisingly. there's also negatives to this though, see below.
speaking of companions dying and the inquisitor playing a bigger role: the final quest feels like me2's suicide mission. i was blown away by it and the fact that i got to see the results of all my efforts playing out in front of me.
bioware are NOT trying to redeem solas. they love him as a character yes, but i wasn't forced to see any good in him. he betrays you. he fucked my rook over twice. he fucked him over right back, for good this time (the veil wasn't torn down, i anchored it by binding him to it, he's doomed to uphold it). but solas really lives up to his name as the trickster elven god. rip to all the people who grew really attached to him over the years.
varric died. if you like him that's probably as hard reading it as it was watching it. varric died and the game lies about it until the very end. when the realisation hits, it hurts. but in the very best way.
the amount of care they put into gender expression and trans identities this time around. (i'll add onto this with negative points as well too).
rook feels very much ingrained in the world of thedas. he doesn't ask questions that expose the player to lore through dialogue as if he's stepped foot into thedas for the first time. those conversations feel very solid and good. i hope other faction players got as much joy out of this as i did.
and the things i didn't like and boy there's a lot unfortunately
the music. let's just get that out of the way holy shit. it doesn't feel like it belongs in this universe. it gets so incredibly sci-fi-y at times you'd think it's taken straight from mass effect andromeda. there's not a single song unique to veilguard that i really enjoyed. it broke my immersion, real bad. hearing a busker play the tavern songs from inquisition on a lute right after i killed some venatori with wobbly bass songs playing in the background is just odd. weird tonal shift. don't like it. it's made for people who like flashy light-weight cinema.
tevinter nights is required reading. the podcasts are required listening exercises. the game is so fast paced, especially at the start, that there's no time to introduce you to characters and how much weight their names carry in-game. i would not have known who half these people are if i hadn't skimmed over tevinter nights. i'd care even less about them than i already did. there is no time to get properly attached to them. people will act as if you're talking to a legend personified and you'll be thinking man goddamn which chapter of tevinter night were they in again and what did they do???
there's a weird mismatch with the animations. you'll have beautifully fluid ones, like emmrich casting spells. and then you'll have rook's face animating in the most unnatural manner that's sorta reminiscent of mass effect andromeda's "my face is tired" addison, when their emotions SHOULD be landing with the player rn instead.
i'm not vibing with the art style. sometimes it works. most of the time it doesn't. at points i felt like i was watching tangled.
that also brings me to some of the dialogue. same issue. i am watching frozen. i am watching tangled. someone on the writer's team really likes the adorkable trope. bellara is its victim.
for all the talk about identity, bioware sure doesn't like theirs. the grey warden armor got a redesign again and it just makes them look like a generic army. i hate it lol
in general, i don't like the armor design. the wardrobe/appearances system is fine, but it's just not helping if all the armors are just... kinda bland or downight bad looking? and don't get me started on the lords of fortune armor. that is orientalism personified.
the world states should have been carried over, full stop. i know they said they didn't because they want to separate what happens in the north from what happens in the south, which... i could have lived with that. but the inquisitor sends you letters that keep you up to date on... the south of thedas. you learn that there's a blight again, that people are standing strong but it's difficult, denerim's fallen, the rulers are taking care of it, orlais is fighting and they're successful for a while, etc etc. what's good bioware. i thought we don't care about the south this time around. why are you feeding me so much boring generic information. if you're not gonna show any of it and just write letters, then carrying the world state over should not have been an issue. i have a game dev background. those few lines of code would not have broken your budget or pushed your engine's limits. fuck right off.
this gripe of mine carries over to all the cameos. as a lord of fortune you have to deal with isabela a lot. it's fun. i missed her. you get to go drinking with her and taash and bellara! also my hawke romanced her. she's not mentioned once. they had the opportunity to put a sentence or two about her in there with not a lot of effort, trust me.
when varric dies, all she has is a single line about it. for gold, for fortune, for varric. she only says it if you interact with her on your way to the final push. that's not mandatory.
morrigan is there. kieran isn't. the old god soul that mythal and then solas absorbed? who cares at this point, the gods are dead now and solas is locked away for eternity. i suppose? why is morrigan there. she feels unneeded. i wish they'd just left her down south, at least that way i wouldn't have had to witness her god awful redesign.
dorian at least feels as if he belongs in this story. the shadow dragons are a crucial part to protecting minrathous. he's also weirdly underutilised. isabela and morrigan had more lines than him in my playthrough.
on the topic of romance: bro that was underwhelming. no, genuinely. you know when romance picked up a bit? after the point of no return. i heard maybe two lines of companion banter about it before that. maybe i missed something which i honestly doubt, but romance did not play much of a role in lucanis's storyline. i saved his grandmother as he wished me to (and if you read tevinter nights you know she was rather abusive and their relationship not the healthiest) and told him to focus on his family. a reunified family my rook wasn't even introduced to as a partner at the end of all that.
really, do not buy this game if you're only in it for the romances. others might be better, lucanis's basically gave me nothing. except for an outing (the second coffee date i had with him, it was getting repetitive) all of it played out once i committed to the final quest. the sex scene was a fade to black. annoyingly right after davrin died. if you're looking for well paced and good spice, pick up something else. the sweet talk and the final goodbye were nice though.
for all the good the ever-presence of gender identity does, it is brought up in such a disruptive manner too. it doesn't even play out naturally if you CHOOSE the lines that are meant to be said. hearing the words trans and non-binary in this setting doesn't feel right, and i'm saying this as a trans guy. i think it could have been handled more gracefully. the amount of times my rook went "i'm a MAN" as if he's about to start drumming on his chest and roaring any second now got super nerve-grating. "i'm so glad you're into me... the me who is trans. remember?" just. tell me one trans person who'd talk like that to a person they've grown close with and are trying to romance. this game doesn't handle sexuality well, so all this hey my body might not look like the way you're expecting it to look talk amounts to nothing anyway. i feel about this the way i feel about krem: this is partial exposition to trans experiences... packaged up for cis consumption. the ONLY exception to that is interacting with taash. holy shit was all of that heartwarming and bro did it feel good and natural to talk to them about theirs and rook's gender.
rivain and nevarra are new locations added by veilguard. they're also incredibly underwhelming, small and constricted maps. rivain is a coastline with a few ruins. the hall of valor is a partial ruin nestled into a cave on a beach, with a fighting pit. isabela is there in her skimpy outfit commentating your pit fights. that's it. i'm sorry if you were looking for a bustling pirate cove or whatever. you're not gonna get it. the nevarran crypts btw are a long ass dungeon crawl. that's it.
speaking of maps. i thought people were being dramatic when they said you're gonna be fighting the same enemies on them again and again. i thought they were figure of speeching it. they're not. you WILL fight the same amount of enemies. in the same spot. every time you reload the map. best to stay on a map and clear out the enemies and do as much questing on that map as you can before leaving, because you WILL have to do it all over again once you return.
the three choices i made for my inquisitor didn't matter lol she didn't have to face solas and therefore couldn't stop him at any cost as she had sworn (maybe because my rook tricked solas into binding himself to the veil, there was also an option to fight him. would she have stepped in? who knows). blackwall wasn't mentioned. and either her using a small amount of her forces in the final fight was the reason the civilians of minrathous fared so well..... or it just didn't matter. ultimately i think she had very little impact on anything
#datv#datv spoilers#dragon age: the veilguard#oh wow i hit a limit typing this#anyway to tie this up a bit: the good and bad to the environmental design being that well-known architecture like minrathous and dwarven#ruins look fire and remind me a lot of the previous games#but newly added locations are very... generic... very bland#i was very excited for rivain. i thought we'd get to see ships. not a bunch of ruins and a fighting pit and that's it#and why did i say to ignore a certain guy's review? bro because he was complaining about taash being ace and that taking up their screentim#and them being too up in your face about their identity. he did all this while she/her'ing them constantly#but my man they're trans. nb. not ace.#y'all need to be careful about bad reviews. they're coming from people who are upset about gender identity being handled as a topic in this#game. meanwhile they have no clue what they're even talking about. i don't think matty knows the difference between ace and trans#and neither do the hundreds of people who are one star rating this game currently#i liked this game. it's not top tier. it's not something i'll sink hours and hours and hours of my life into#it has tonal issues and it's moving away from what made dragon age stand out for me#but i do think that it's a genuinely fun play and people who are very invested in dragon age will squeeze joy out of it wherever they can#i had a hard time warming up to the new characters (taash and lucanis being the exception because they have an older bioware air about them#but solas's and varric's story (and don't get me wrong that's what veilguard is about) is GOOD. that is how bioware used to be.#and i wish they'd given us that energy all over the game. that direness. that grit. serious and mature writing.#that consistency is lacking#and whether you're gonna enjoy this game or not is entirely dependant on what you came here for and how well the game delivers on it#i think their weakest points are ironically the thing they advertised the most: the new companions and their writing#you won't find nuanced and good enemies here (i already reblogged something about this. you can go scroll around a bit and catch up on that#really the only thing that had me super invested and emotional was the main quest.#so make of that what you will. ultimately i was more frustrated with the game than i got enjoyment out of it. i was close to just put it#aside for now... until i went to minrathous to end ghila'nain's and elgar'nan's ritual. that all blew me away. still on a high off of it.#anyway yeah that review got cut short by the character limit maybe i'll add more to it tomorrow but rn... i am heading to bed#thanks for coming to my ted talk. also i'm sorry. zevran REALLY isn't in this.#dragon age
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trensu · 2 months ago
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do you think you'll put "Stasis in darkness" on AO3 eventually?
see, when the idea first came to me, I hadn't really planned on doing anything with it because I wasn't sure if I could make it work. there's a level of gravitas in the relationship between a god and their devoted servant that I didn't think would translate well to steddie because, let's be real, those boys are goofy dorks. but the idea wouldn't leave me alone so I typed up the original post in an attempt to work it out of my system and move on.
(the post kind of blew up, which I was not expecting at all!! like, not even a little bit! i post all sorts of rough little ideas for my own amusement and I've been able to do that without drawing much attention until that point.)
Anyway, I wouldn't have done much with it but @acowardinmordor left some comments/tags/what have you that helped me nail down the setting in my head which really opened the door for me to explore how the story could progress. (apologies, strife, I'm not sure I ever properly thanked you for that burst of inspiration, so please accept this shoutout as an expression of gratitude). And the amazing @ent-is-indecisive allowed me to rant about it which really helped flesh out the story. Seriously, there are elements and lore coming up that would not have existed if it weren't for ent. (and thank you once again ent for the ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL fanart you made for the reveal scene, I'm still overcome with joy whenever I think about it!).
Once it got to that point, I knew I wanted it to be a self-contained story and I was afraid that if I did a multi-chapter fic I'd lose the thread and never make it to the ending I want the fic to have. (no, the end scene hasn't been written yet but I KNOW what it's going to be and I hope everyone will love it as much as i do). So I promised myself that I was not going to post it on ao3 until the whole thing was written out completely.
However, I occasionally need a confidence/motivation boost so I've been posting consecutive parts of the rough draft here. you have no idea how much the people who reblogged with tags or left comments have helped me fight off the discouragement my brain likes to bog me down with; off the top of my head, @godsweakestboy , @redfreckledwolf, @fuctacles , @spectrum-spectre , and @lawrencebshoggoth have given me lovely, enthusiastic words of encouragement. and they're only the ones I can think of at this moment. there's so many other people who've done this, so if you've ever left me nice tags or comments, please know that I've read every single one of them repeatedly whenever I need to get over a slump. I'm so grateful for all of you!
Anyway, all this is to say yes! It is going to be posted as a oneshot on ao3 once I've finished writing it. <3
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silkjade · 2 months ago
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i haven’t been here much recently, and i’m sorry i’ve only been negative on the off chance i’ve been online, but let me just say one last piece before the end of this month, so that maybe the next might be better….
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#or ​maybe my time here ends w this month…i’m not sure i guess it all depends on how i feel but as of right now#everytime i think i'm fine i open tumblr and immediately am sad again the whole app has become my doomscroll at this point#i got a notification on a random talking post from a while ago and it felt like reading the words of a completely different person#lately i find it difficult to find any joy here at all when it always feels so lonely… a type of loneliness i’ve never experienced before#everyone always has ppl interacting w them who are interested in their stuff or are always sent things that are reminiscent of them....#i’m always praised for remembering stuff abt other ppl but i wonder if anyone remembers anything abt me#what is it about me that is so forgettable am i dull am i uninteresting did i not solidify myself enough do you guys just not like me lolz#but i don't want this to come across as guilt tripping or being ungrateful to what i do have because ik comparison is the death of joy but#it's still hard to watch when it's so in your face and it makes me think if ppl only talk to me because they feel obligated to#because anyone can say empty words.... i wish my perception of things didn't turn bitter i wish i hadn't become so jaded but#over and over i've felt irrelevant cast aside overshadowed and i cannot exist in a place where i feel like i'm a ghost in the corner#idk i've never felt like This before and i'm at least glad it's something i can walk away from by just....leaving...#sad that this used to be somewhere i can run away To but now it's become somewhere i want to run away From#i don't know...even if i get over whatever this is...things will never be the same for me... i just don't think i belong here#if only i had never made this blog then i would have saved myself a world of turmoil
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ambyandony · 6 months ago
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heres the limbo fusions with the rest of the vento aureo main protags
Limbo + Mista
Mimbo - any pronouns
"Are u lost bbygrl? :)"
(They give a weird stare if asked for a full name. They only use Mimbo, even though it’s a combination of Limbo’s forename and Mista’s surname.)
most stable Limbo fusion merely by virtue of Mista’s simple ability to just not give a fuck.
GET YOUR GUN OUT OF YOUR CLEAVAGE!
bitch gon step on my fuckin toe bitch with them fuckin cowgirl fuckin boots
VITALLY important that you know that despite being easily mistaken as fem on first glance, Mimbo also has the deepest voice of any Limbo fusion for literally no reason other than it’s funny to me. They also have sideburns
Stand: Mighty Wings - Redirects Signals. Still a colony Stand, looks like tiny little pastel fighter jets!
Limbo + Abbacchio
Lio Adkio - they/them
“Don’t say SHIT about my mascara or my eyeliner.”
“In fact, don’t fucking look at me or I’ll have to kill you or myselves.”
stable only because when Limbo started panicking in the mindspace, Abbacchio simply pointed and snapped at her to CALM THE FUCK DOWN. and she did so immediately.
nicer than Abbacchio. not by that much, though… but weirdly apologetic about it.
the eyeliner doesn’t appear to be due to crying, it seems that it just looks like that.
bazongas?
Stand: Keeping The Faith? Never Too Late? Shawty like a melody-
“rewinds” signals to previous states or connections and/or can do a “replay” of those signals’ succeeded actions (i.e. having a phone replay a prior conversation) Unfortunately, it’s pretty useless in combat.
Limbo + Giorno
Glimbo Giovadkins - she(?)/they/them
“Wouldn’t you like to hear one of my 765 fun facts about aerodynamics, animals or Air Bud?”
“I also have a few facts about botany, blood and birds.”
stable, until they’re not. they’re incredibly calm and delightful, but when they think someone’s mad at them they panic and start excessively apologising.
genuinely the softest cutest sweetest lil bitch you’ve ever seen. also traumatised with a guilty conscience and can flip on a dime in a terrifying way.
shortest Limbo fusion for no clear reason? shorter than both Limbo and Giorno.
Squalo’s worst fear.
sounds pretty much how you would expect.
Stand: Crystal Dolphin - can transform signals into life—by taking the signals out of something, typically disabling it, they can create life like Gold Experience can. The more complex the device, the bigger its potential creation.
Limbo + Buccellati
Bimbo Luno Adkellati - they/them
"...I've lost the conversation. I'm gonna go make pizza!"
Megan Thee Stallion?!
has no idea what’s going on for some reason? always looks a little confused and loses track of conversations very quickly.
very good with kids! practically unable to have a coherent conversation with Abbacchio. They don’t seem too distressed, but they just stop making much sense and seem to confuse themselves.
Stand: When Doves Cry? Perhaps Freewill? Uhm… I don’t know? Maybe it can sort of, ‘zip’ signals together, combining two or more functions into one sent signal? Bruno's ability is just so specific... I can't think of many ideas.
Limbo + Fugo
Fimbo (Pannalimbo Adkigo) - they/them
"STOP TALKING ABOUT FREUD BEFORE I KILL YOU WITH MY FUCKING BRACELETS!!!"
( Note: all currently depicted instances of Fimbo seem to be post-PHF, as Fimbo is almost always seen with the mouth scars hidden by the tattoo.)
enemy of the state. punches fascists. lovecore punk goth. in terms of authority figures they only respect Buccellati and Limbo’s dad.
AuDHD trauma poster child. Short fuse but very friendly until something sets them off and they start screaming and or burst into fucking tears.
Self-love in the sense that the fusionmates care about each other deeply and both sides are trying to look out for the other knowing the other won't look out for themself.
Stand: Cabin Fever - Terrifying deathly virus that, rather than being airborne like Purple Haze, is passed though signal transmission. Fimbo doesn’t know if the virus is the same as Purple Haze, a different strain of it, or something entirely different. It spreads most quickly through vocal communication between two people.
Limbo + Narancia
Nimbus Ghirgins - he/they/she
"tummyache... :("
Libby why does my stomach feel like it’s going to fucking collapse in on itself and why are my knuckles torn? aren’t they supposed to bruise when you punch?
bad relationship with food. Hanahaki disease, what are you doing here? (/ij)
sometimes they find Mista sitting around, sit next to him and fall asleep on him immediately
incredibly bad with emotions and doesn’t even get angry they just get overwhelmed instantly at any presence of significant emotion
Stand: Falling in Love/Hard on the Knees - who the fuck let this kid control CO2 emissions?? They can barely control themselves???
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feroluce · 1 year ago
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When Al Haitham dreams, it's in shades of sandy blonde and red, metallic gold and feather-blue. His nightmares are colored much the same.
Kaveh leisurely strolls ahead of him, shoes leaving deep treads in the soft desert sand. He keeps a careful distance, arms length, and in return Al Haitham keeps an eye on him, the other man's back dead center in his sights.
He curses the sand in his boots and the long line of footprints he steps into, already the exact shape of the soles of his shoes.
They aren't lost. Al Haitham knows where they are. They've been here before. They are still here.
Kaveh doesn't watch their feet. His head is constantly tipped back with his eyes on the stars and their constellations (of which Al Haitham only knows two, Vultur Volans and Paradisaea). He'll walk right into a cactus like that. Al Haitham yells ahead for him to watch where he's going.
Kaveh reaches up to touch the side of his head in a strange motion, but otherwise there's no acknowledgement. They press on into the dark of night.
Something squelches beneath Al Haitham's boot.
It stops him short, pulls his attention like a magnet and as much as he wants to, he can't ignore it. He doesn't want to lose any more ground. But something won't let him move on. Al Haitham watches as red seeps into the golden sand, spills beyond the border of his bootprint until he slides his foot aside.
It's an ear.
It's a human ear, and there's a heavy earring attached, metallic gold, gems red and green, a familiar shape, a familiar shade-
Al Haitham opens his mouth to yell. Chokes. Swallows the lump in his throat as he quickly restarts his pace. Tries again.
"Hey!"
Another squelch under a hurried footstep. He doesn't stop to look. Al Haitham is pretty sure he knows what it is.
"Kaveh, hey!"
The path becomes littered, little slices and small pieces, fingertips and knuckles, Kaveh's arms once held casually behind his back now strewn along the sands. Every time Al Haitham extends his hand to him, reality warps and bends like the twisted image in a broken mirror, lines mismatched and edges jagged. Kaveh flits just beyond his grasp, fleeting fae, no longer able to hear him or to reach out to him. Al Haitham can only grit his teeth and follow.
His right foot marches forward. His left follows. His right again. His left suddenly doesn't follow, and Al Haitham is thrown off balance and pitches forward, swinging his arms outward to land on his palms and keep his face off the ground, because he's been in the desert enough times to know what a foot suddenly being stuck can mean.
Quicksand.
Al Haitham curses and swears in just about every language he knows as he tries to spread his weight as evenly as possible, stay afloat at the top of it because if he sinks, he knows he'll be done for, and shit, Kaveh.
His neck cranes uncomfortably in his search, Kaveh had only been a few feet in front of him, he can't be sunk much further, and he's in the desert much more often than Al Haitham anyway, he'll be familiar with what to do-
Kaveh stands in front of him, empty sleeves fluttering loose. Still just out of his grasp, still watching the stars. The quicksand is already up to his calves.
"Say, Al Haitham..." It's the first he's spoken this whole time. His voice resonates somewhere deeply nostalgic in Al Haitham's chest, produces a ripple that momentarily stuns his heart.
Kaveh is sinking.
Al Haitham stretches out on his belly as far as he's able, it's quickly up to his knees, Kaveh isn't even trying to redistribute his weight or pull himself out, it's at his thighs, Al Haitham sucks in a breath and yells for him, his hips, yells louder, his waist, Al Haitham's trembling fingertips can almost reach, his chest, Kaveh drops level with him, quicksand about his neck like a noose.
Kaveh's head tips back, back, impossibly far back, until it hangs, angle awkward, and he's looking right past Al Haitham with his tired smile and gouged, blinded sockets full of starlight.
"Do you believe in karma?"
The quicksand swallows him entirely and Al Haitham dives, shoves his arms deep and pushes off with the one foot he'd had left on safe ground, because he can't, he can't, it's not the same without Kaveh, not anymore, he needs him, no one else keeps him sharp, no one else challenges him like Kaveh, if he can just grab him, if he can just pull him back up-
Al Haitham thrashes, against the sands, against gravity, against the hardwood of his bedroom floor. Clumsily scrubs the back of his hand across his face to rub the grit of quicksand and sleep out of his eyes.
Sometimes he thinks he preferred it when the Akasha was still harvesting his dreams.
He pops his head out from under his weighted blanket and lays where he'd fallen out of bed for a moment, blinking blearily against the lamplight shining from his desk in the corner. Deep breaths. His consciousness shifts along the blurred line of nightmare and reality, crosses over the slow transition into wakeful awareness.
He's home, Kaveh is home. It's dark out. The house is dead silent.
He's just going to go check, he tells himself as he peels himself out of his sweat-soaked shirt and roots around for a replacement. He's already losing memories of his nightmare, the details spilling away from him like wet ink, but he knows he needs to see Kaveh. It'll feel better to do something, anything, than try to go straight back to sleep.
He's quiet when he slips out of his bedroom door, because they both keep late hours but their bedrooms are right next to each other, and Al Haitham will never hear the end of it if he wakes his roommate up.
Lights off, door shut. Nothing conclusive. He moves out to the main room.
Kaveh sits on one of those ridiculous sofas he'd ordered three of for some reason, back to him as he tucks a lock of hair behind his ear. A mostly-empty wine bottle stands tall on the table, next to the cobbled-together remains of an architectural model that's been picked and fussed over for four days straight now.
"Kaveh? What are you doing?"
This earns him an exaggerated startle, but Kaveh doesn't turn to look at him, preoccupied with whatever new sketch or blueprint he probably has in his hands. "Ohhh, nothing," he slurs cheerfully. "Just working. Just thinking."
Kaveh has always been the world's chattiest drinker. Al Haitham waits for the rest of it.
"Say, I think...I think I asked you this years ago, back then, but you never answered me." Al Haitham feels all the blood drain from his face in ominous familiarity, drip cold down the length of his spine. Kaveh sinks into the couch until he can tip his head over the back of it, looking up at him with a tired smile and exhausted eyes.
"Do you believe in karma?"
#genshin impact#haikaveh#al haitham#kaveh#kavehtham#these two have had me chewing concrete lately god#3.6 got me frothing at the mouth#something about al haitham trying to save kaveh from himself and his own guilt complex and self-sabotage wheeee my heart#and he's normally so self-assured but he fucked it up spectacularly the first go around- good job baby-#and now it's years later he's trying again but it's something he's barely chipping away at not to mention Kaveh not wanting his help lol#and so some of Al Haitham's nightmare is objective fact and some of it is his own subjective pov#Kaveh loses his arms and ears bc al haitham is frustrated that he won't hear him out or reach out for help#and he keeps his eyes up and eventually blinds himself bc al haitham thinks of him as too idealistic and blind to reality#and kaveh does all this to himself bc when you ask al haitham about his troubles he talks about people who cause trouble for themselves#kaveh pondering the concept of karma in relation to his bad luck and misery and guilt about his father's death in the quicksand *fans self*#al haitham starting to get just a little nervous that maybe he really he can't do anything about this#or that one day it'll be too little late ough. love when I can whump character by whumping the other.#two for one special buy one get one two birds stoned at once type of deal#i have a Vision about them and their stupid dumbass relationship dynamic that I need to yell about later but for now: this#written while listening to A Sadness Runs Through Him by The Hoosiers which hilariously was introduced to me as a pla Emmet song#'but here was a man mourning tomorrow; he tried to finally drown in his sorrow'#'oh he could not break surface tension; he looked in the wrong place for redemption'#'don't look at me with those eyes; I tried to unheave the ties; turn back the tide that drew him in'#'but he couldn't be saved'#'a sadness runs through him'#extremely kaveh and haikaveh song for me ough#my fics#gore#body horror#I mean it's pretty unrealistic but still just in case
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icewindandboringhorror · 1 year ago
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sneepy cozy....
#cats#(medical stuff mention for tags)#poasting confortable image of boye for peace and serenity and such forthe#I have little weird episodes sometimes where I get shaky (but like violently like 'would spill a drink if you were holding it beacuse#your hands are moving so much' type shaky) and weird and sick feeling but usually it passes in an hour or less. but last night I just#literally couldnt sleep I was shaking so much and my heartrate was up a ton and wouldn't go down even after like 6 hours plus super nausea#so I went to the hospital and now shall wear a heart monitor for a week. which hopefully it's just some weird drastic low blood sugar#event or something and there's nothing actually going on. ekg + ct scan for blod clots + virus panel + almost all of the blood work seems#normal so... aa.......#Though me being so privacy focused hrggh... I basically have a constantly bluetooth connected device around me#since the monitor comes with a cell phone that is constantly transmitting data to the place. which they said they'll call you#if they see anything weird which is also scary. random phone calls... but definitely better than letting an issue go unadressed lol#the phone is also not meant to be more than 10 feet away from the monitor at any time so I put on this old tactical fishing#vest thing thats like navy green with 100 pockets and im just using one of the giant pocketson the side as a phone holder#my enormous silly vest just to keep one little phone#ANYWAY... because I got up early the morning before and didn't sleep at all and spent nearly all day in waiting rooms and such#I have been awake for like 32 hours striaght. which I'm sure also does not help with an elevated heartrate lol#feeling shrimp emotions or whatever people talk about unlocking at a certain level of stress and sleep deprivation#and also no food or water. after a while they brought me like 3 saltines and some ice water but I basically also haven't eaten since 3am#last night and it's 2pm now..#thus............ bapy............. baby boye....... he will help ease all ailments with his baby powers...#And no I dont drink energy drinks or anything with caffiene really I'm afraid of all substances on the planet essentially#My body just likes to become shaky and weird randomly even when I'm not conciously anxious about anything/have had no caffiene/etc#and I guess I'm always more nervous about getting anything heart related checked out because of my arm/shoulder/chest area injury stuff#... i literally have constant chest pain all the time. it moves around but i nearly always have some sort of pain or pressure in my chest#so when people are like 'oh well a little weird heartrate is fine but watch out if you have pain!' it's like... i always do lol.. how am I#supposed to tell the Bad Pain apart from the Always Pain when the descriptions of Bad Pain are very very similar#AAAANYway.... hrghh... i wanted to be very productive and finally post drafts and wrok on things today. but alas..#I can at least post small image of soft boye.. though he recently got into stuff in the bathroom whilst left#alone and knocked things into the toilet.. So perhaps not an innocent and NICE boy.. but still.. a soft one .. beautfile....
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musubiki · 8 months ago
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how was playing hsr? was there anything that you liked in the game and the story?
ITS BEEN AMAZING AS EXPECTED!!!!!!!!! i actually havent played genshin in a while since starting it, i have no motivation to do the filler event while a perfectly good star rail is sitting there waiting to be played :')
but for mechanics, i love they have auto battle so you dont have to nessecarily sit there and invest in every little battle you gotta do....and i love that the resin (resin??) system is a lot more forgiving with a higher cap, lower cost, and allow for overflow...thats nice...i also love that the mc and starter units are very useful. im so emotionally attatched to the star rail crew so im glad they never have to leave my team !!!!
storywise im LOVING IT SO FAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i started playing it at the beginning of spring break 2 weeks ago and im almost all caught up!!! i went through belabog and penacony and now im just doing those leftover intermission main quests which im only now realizing i shouldve done before going to penacony LMAO
and of course.....danmarch....im so soft for them......and also i love sampo i cant wait to see what they do with him
#besides the star rail crew and sampo im not too attatched to anyone else#im very much a (what would happen in canon) type of player so the only units i REALLY want are himeko welt and imbibitor lunae#(and sampo)#everyone else i can go without#so this game is probably gonna be a lot better for my wallet#overall it just like it better than genshin minus the open world part#i like the story and characters...i like that you can play as bad guys while theyre still bad guys???? like blade and kafka???#cuz in genshin you always gotta redeem them somehow first before theyre playable#not here hueheuhe#also i love that they actually kill off playable characters#(spoilers from here on out)#i know were supposed to be all sad for fireflys death but honestly.......i didnt care about her too much LMAO#i was actually a little annoyed for the secret base part because her base was SO FUCKING DEEP IN ENEMY TERRITORY#i was like (damn bitch how far away is this shit??!)#that by the time we got to the emotional part i was just mad#i never liked characters where the game tries to like....force you to care about them#and its implied you have some super close relationship ESPECIALLY when you havent known them long#now if march died that would be a whole different story#but firefly??? i mean rip but i didnt really know her#im loving the penacony quest so far though#any setting where its like a place of mind tricks and gambling and spending money and sin is always so scary to me#especially the dream within a dream within a dream shit#the mind fuck aspect is always a good plot that i enjoy#i also love that theyre not afraid to upgrade units#like we have dan heng and the dragon dan heng#so characters arnt stagnent forever#everyday i hope we one day get to see a 5-star secret power march#cuz that girl has some shit going on i swear#i just did her luofu memory quest#and those fuckers in the garden of recollection............
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dewvorce-flowers · 13 days ago
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Self affirmations to myself : You started this blog so you could have a fun archive of stuff from the new fandom you just joined(that'sover a year now btw, been A Ride). Don't overthink stuff like seeming too online or how much you can reblog before it becomes annoying just because a small handful of people follow this now.
(Btw sorry if I ever ignore DMs I either forgot or my brain decided that actually answering will take too much energy)
#just got too into my own head again because I noticed just how much more stuff I reblog compared to others#just how much time is spent online#but like even if there's better ways to spend my day#that doesn't change the fact that I'm ill and mostly homebound atm#like sure I could be beating myself up over how little i do and how much more I used to be able to do (I do that too but I shouldnt)#and instead appreciate that I'm privileged to have the ability to just be at home sick and enjoy my time recovering as best as I can#but it gets tiring when the chronic illness doesn't improve even after months or rather years tbh#and why am I able to reblog so much on here but still haven't replied to RL friends#I'm also mourning what I could do in this fandom#like I'm a decent photoshopper with a ton of ideas just wasting away in my draft file#or I have soooo many fic ideas and while I'm a horribke writer I would still love to take a crack at them#instead it's lying in bed with pain and brain fog reblogging funny stuff#this isn't a knock on the funny stuff it's literally one of the few things keeping me from sliding into very bad depression but y'know#sometimes which there was a way to voice call with people about their post cause on some days even typing gets too much#okay this is enough self pity#delete later#abi rambles#I can't ever be truly angry at having gotten into hockey cause this fandom has so many cool people and actually got me to jump over#my own shadow and DM people on my own for the first time!!!
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seithr · 9 months ago
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hits you with a beam that immediately takes effect
quick edit of a recent artwork for socials/banners.... someday ill put these up on the art acc hmmhg
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swallowtail-ageha · 27 days ago
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Lately my dash is full of the terror content which reminds me of when earlier this year i went with my brother to norway and visited the fram museum and there was a part dedicated to failed polar expeditions which made me go "oh that's awful! Thank god i will never experience this" which alas turned to be grim foreshadowing because like three days later i experienced a similar thing by virtue of the abisko plateau road getting broken while we were on the bus and getting stuck there for ten hours in the dark in the middle of a snowstorm with ~50 other people
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triglycercule · 1 month ago
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and if i said the mtt reminded me of these three idols then would i get tarred and feathered
#YES!!!! anyways when will someone draw them all in straitjackets istg#ive been on a bit of a new artist roll today. just discovered akali. and then checked out these 3#ikigusare idols i knew you 3 were mtt from the moment i saw you no doubt. a shame sango is green instead of purple#anyways mtt connection i like how niigo's left eye is the same eye that flickers killer's sans part ish eye#but like the eye is literally sewn and kept open forcefully. like hey sans part of killer you gotta b part of this 2! no looking away!#was thinking the 3rd eye on sango could be like papyrus. like 2/3 of the head is dust and 1/3 is paps#took seeing his brother to whole different level!#horror's is obvious his eye's just 1 because he's got his whole 1 eye symbolism#mtt but they all have body disformations and its all related to their eyes somehow#can just imagine like...... killer's left eyesocket bashed open and the eye floating in there while the dt goop constantly flows out of it#ikigusare idols all have the same voice and#the mtt would.... as well..... bc theyre all yhe same guy#these idols dont have canon lore im like 80% sur i can make as many crazy mtt connections to them as i possibly can#their music is so like. just a LITTLE bit off. like obviously the voices but just like the notes are just SLIGHTLY off and its so duchahahhh#im not gonna listen to them regularly bc it not my thing but hahahaha mtt........ mtt reference#my english notes have mtt references in them. my friend makes mtt references now because of me#i squeeze my shampoo into my hand in a sparkle star heart shape because of the mtt#it was 4:30 in the morning today and i saw a tiktok comment mentioning the mtt and i tried not yo scream#yk i think ive convinced myself that im not as deranged as i really am about these 3 but lime........ erm what the murder this is freaky!#someone said in a gc that they auditions for acapella and wondered if they got in#this is so mean but my first verbal reaction was literally hell no💀 its SO MEAN#theyre rubbing off on me help. i cant just say it was all the mtt's fault when i'm a goddamn asshole#NO OFFICER I SWEAR IT WAS THE SKELETONS THE THREE SKELETONS THEY POSSESSED ME TO SHOOT THE#yeah....... lets not continue down that path (i say as i made several 9/11 jokes today unprompted)#god typing out tags with silly comments like these are so satisfying :3 always forget how much i luuuuv thumblr#DAMN my typing style has changed a LOT from what i remember. in just a couple of months ive evolved#tricule rant
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badolmen · 1 year ago
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Wrote out a big long phone call rant to have with my mother later because as much as I hate it she is my closest irl spiritual confidant 👍 here’s hoping her response to ‘hey I’ve been spiritually depressed and disconnected for like 8 months and for some reason these last two weeks advocating for Palestine has me feeling alive and burning with divine passion and love in a way I’ve never felt before in my life’ isn’t like. ‘Talk to your psyche abt your meds hun’
#ra speaks#personal#religion#oh god these tags got out of hand. look away I’m rambly today.#outing myself as deeply spiritual and devout on main oops#‘aren’t you gay and trans and -‘ listen Israel the person received that name after literally wrestling with gd in the desert#I’m allowed to put my faith leaders in a spiritual headlock for past and present crimes while I live my joyful life#maybe a physical headlock too. I’m down to body slam some wueerphobic racist pos who claim to be faithful while never exercising such faith#also lmao of the idea of a queer leftist being deeply spiritual makes you uncomfortable…bro everything about me makes ppl uncomfortable#I’m bi gender I consider myself a trans gay man and a nonbinary dyke at the same time. I’m disabled and ugly and autistic. im not palatable#accept the inherent apparent contradictory nature of the varied human experience and move on.#sorry thought about that post complaining abt observant jews being excluded from the conversations about queer jews like#you don’t have to get it. you don’t have to think it’s real! but it’s real to me! it’s important to me!#so are you gonna be my transphobic uncle and call me sick and deluded the same way he talks about trans people?#or are you gonna keep your mouth shut accept that you don’t have to understand someone to respect them and move on with your life.#anyways uh. here’s hoping I don’t lose my voice or start crying like I did while typing the script up.#vocational woes
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torao-chan · 2 years ago
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Do you think Leander has connections with the Abbess? Mostly because it ties into the divine feminine part of his theme where Myth Leander convinced Hero that Aphrodite wouldnt want to be worshipped by a Virgin.
Which leads me to believe that Kuras telling MC to go to Leander and him being the first to touch MC could serve as a catalyst for every other route thus follows. Leander seems to be oddly possessive and wants to play himself up as much as possible, so his insertions could lead to bad endings in the game if you don't set the right boundaries with him.
Also his disdain for how Senobium treats Vere which, I feel, has something to do with his route and how he dislikes those who rob others of freedom [tying into his Robin Hood role] but will possibly stifle MC's attempts at a cure.
The tower of Senobium and the river that divides Eridia will probably play a huge part as you've said, I just wonder if Leander can swim.
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you're good, don't fret lmao. i ended up rambling quite a bit in trying to answer this and because i'm half asleep but shh but the tldr is this;
i think there is an undeniable connection between leander and the senobium, and i wouldn't be surprised if it reached all the way to the top/abbess. i don't believe, however, the connection to the senobium is why he could withstand the curse- but i do believe why he could stand the curse is indicative of his involvement level with the senobium. i also solidly believe we will need puzzle pieces of his behaviour from [potentially interfering with] other routes to reach a Best End with him.
the long rambly version [typed first], however, is as follows;
there are a lot of things that, in my mind, connect leander to the senobium. whether its because he’s working with them, attempting to undermine their rule, potentially helped found them, or something else entirely- i think it’s too early to say. we know kuras was there when leander was a child... but we don’t know when that was, either.
we also know that leander does not outright state an opinion on the senobium, even though his bloodhounds outright hate them. mind you, he doesn’t outright state an opinion on much unless trying to sway the mc one way or another, carrot-and-sticking-ing us through out most of the prologue. and he certainly says the senobium isn’t an option for mc, blatantly. but worth noting, nonetheless; on his actual opinion on the establishment, leander is silent.
leander’s background in the trailer video makes me curious. that’s a very fancy stained glass there, and i’m curious about where this takes place.
leander is the most obviously adept at using information as a currency- something that is clearly a result of the senobium’s influence on eridia- as he displays behaviours of both hoarding, manipulating, and drip feeding the information in his possession. one has to wonder how he learned these behaviours; perhaps just a result of being eridia bred and born?
leander is a notably strong mage. as you mentioned, the alchemist route comments on how he doesn’t use any incantations or spell circles to cast. (the theory of borrowed magic could possibly explain this, or perhaps it’s just magical storage he’s created for himself? and if so, how does this play into the several glowing parts of his outfit- and the differently coloured lamp on his belt, too.)
it’s curious, though. his gilded boots put him in wealth, as does his position and ability to run the bloodhounds. it could be wealth accrued from the gang, or from a history with the gang. he could be a founder or a product of the senobium- but it’s also not unknown for mages from the senobium to leave; much like MC’s teacher in the alchemist route.
but if he grew up in lowtown, left to join the senobium, and then came back to form a gang that hates the senobium- well, with how they reacted when the MC just mentioned it’s name- if it did happen, it’s certainly not common knowledge. and that wealth needs to be explained somehow.
(i’m also curious about the faction with the violet sashes noted in ais’ section near the end of the prologue. what do they denote, and where do they fall into this faction war that seems to be forming?)
i think realistically, we have too little info on the abbess to make much conclusions on anything- we have even less than we have on leander, and he’s left us with only dregs to draw conclusions from.
whatever relationship leander had with the senobium, however, i believe fully it is soured now. but i do believe there is a very relevant connection there.
all that connection fodder aside, however, i do agree that leander will be the catalyst for a lot of things. the flowers supposedly granted good luck- and repeat audience members to his show seemed very eager to receive those flowers. the line in his bio isn’t that his magic won’t save us, it’s that it can’t.
leander seemed to connect with us immediately, but i don’t believe for an instance it was a matter of just a new face in town. in a city with no walls? even surrounded by soulless as it is, i have no doubt- new faces are common enough in eridia. and yet he picked us out of the crowd. why?
aaah, i’m loosing my trail of thought here. i’m wondering what involvement leander had with our curse, if we’re looking at a hero and leander resurrection/reenactment. if it’s designed for him to withstand. or perhaps his insanity is already so present that the change was minimal for his state of mind. the devs did say the LIs are already the worst versions of themselves, come the time of canon.
someone noted that leander may be a good first route, since it was easy to unlock his red text. personally, i think leander will be the easiest to get a Good End in, because he wants to reach a Good End with us, but i think he’ll be the hardest to get a Best End in, because it means facing truths he is actively hiding away. i think we're going to have to be very particular, right from the first interaction with him, to really unlock the Best End for leander- perhaps even to the point of not unlocking the red text that's so easily available in the demo.
anyway asdlkjgfdlskf
i'm now going back and double checking what i've left unanswered asdlkjlgkdf. i wonder if he can swim too, or if perhaps he had a magical intervention to prevent himself from drowning again. perhaps a bracelet?
i think that's everything aslkjglfsdlkgjfd wow that got away with me. i'm still v disjointed with my brain thoughts at the moment, but there are so many pieces in play- and we only have the prologue to go off of. i'm very excited to see how it'll all come together adljgklf. for now, i think i'll put a tldr up the top as best i can. but yes, i have many thoughts, and no answers atm i'm afraid ;w;
(also i find it fascinating that mhin is the other potential leander eye-catcher, and their nickname from ais is dove. fascinating fascinating how the pieces fall into place.)
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reflectionsofgalaxies · 3 months ago
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i have thought of 1 (one) pro to this whole housing situation and i’m clinging onto it for dear life
#that being the enhanced freedom of living alone/away from family again#just generally being able to have routines and (hopefully) have them be respected in shared living spaces#of course that depends on who i find as a roommate but i’m choosing to stay optimistic#and on the note of freedom that includes more social freedom to have people over#like games nights with friends and stuff#or like. people staying over occasionally.#which technically i could do before it’s just wildly uncomfortable so i generally don’t#it’s the fear of not having a place to fall back to if things go wrong#that’s really getting to me#because my family is so spread out that even if i was able to crash on my mom or grandma’s couches (bc they both live in small one bedrooms)#they’re both so far away (literally a several hour ferry ride in my mom’s case)#that i wouldn’t be able to continue work or school if i had to do that#my dad is looking for a place in the cities around where we are now but that’s not certain at all and again one bedroom#BUT#and this is a HUGE thing that my friend reminded me of#i have friends in my life who would also support me if it came to that (totally not crying while typing this)#he reminded me that his family has even said in the past that i always have a place to stay with them#and i even did at one point for several weeks when our house got all its wall torn out bc of massive water leaks#and i know i have at least two other friends who would do the same if i really needed it#and i’m so so so fucking lucky#i may not have a ton of people in my life but the people i do have are better people than i ever could have hoped for#i stumbled into knowing (and this is no exaggeration) i believe some of the kindest most compassionate loving people in existence#i was always such a sucker for found family stuff and it was only in the last two years or so that i realized that’s what i have#okay stress crying has turned to emotional gratefulness crying#still physically unpleasant but emotionally incomprebly better#personal
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