#this got away from me a bit but are you surprised by that really?

[shouyuus]

Hear me out on this🤚🏼 vi and reader arguing over something stupid and reader says something sideways that’s like Loki kinda freaky and vis like oh yeah mf and then boom freaky time but a bit of rough talk so vi can get reader to admit she’s right???

hahahahahahah /gunshots/ this grew legs and ran off on its own omfg; hope u enjoy!!! also credit where credit is due i immediately thought of this textpost when i saw this ask so. 18+, mdni dom/slightly mean!vi, college roommate!vi cinematic universe

"fuck you."

"no fuck you -- y'know what -- why don't you just edge me into next tuesday -- that'd be less painful --"

"i --" vi blinks, staring at you as you run your hands through your hair, still mumbling to yourself, apparently entirely unaware of the change your words have just wrought in her.

a spate of desire twists knife-sharp in her gut as vi imagines pressing you in half, a hand wrapped around your throat the other teasing between your legs, the way your hips might jump if she curled her fingers just so.

she wonders how quick she could get you begging; she wonders, a second later, how quick it'd get her on the edge when here she is, careening towards it at the mere thought of taking you apart.

"ugh -- whatever, i have to get back to my research paper -- i don't have time to --"

vi's arm shoots out and she's got her fingers wreathed around your wrist before she can stop herself. your alarmed look catches like a spark in the dry-grass tickle of her stomach and suddenly there's heat pluming up the back of her neck like smoke as she backs you into the apartment wall, licking her lips as she watches confusion and the hazy sheen of unmistakable want flicker to light behind your eyes.

"v-vi?"

she almost shivers. she thinks it's a testament to how well she's always treated you that you don't sound frightened -- only curious, and a little surprised.

"we're not done here, princess -- and i don't really think i like it when you try to walk away from me like that," she whispers, leaning in close enough to feel the way your breath stutters in your chest.

"vi -- i don't -- this isn't --"

but her questioning smirk as she pulls back silences the stumbling words on your lips as your cheeks go dark and your eyes cut away from hers.

"aww, c'mon princess --" and this time, she leans into the word like it might be an insult, doesn't miss the way your lashes flutter or the way your breathing's shallowed out to small little hitches, or the fact that you're stock still against the wall, even though her grip is light and there's nothing to stop you from pulling away.

"where's that fire from a second ago? weren't you just calling me a bad roommate for always forgetting to run the dishwasher before i leave?"

you swallow, the bob in your throat making her heart skitter up her ribcage like climbing up monkey bars.

"that... okay fine -- that was mean -- but it's not like i was lying about the --" your voice pitches as you look back up at her, and for a second, the hard light in your eyes catches again, only to sputter out as you meet her gaze for the second time, a guttering candle to a winter's breeze. vi bites back a grin. this is too easy.

"mm, but it still hurt my feelings, princess..." vi coos, leaning in to brush her lips by your cheek, reveling in the way you tremble beneath her, "and really, i don't think i'm that bad of a roommate, right? i take care of you, don't i?"

the moment her lips catch the lobe of your ear, you let out a soft whimper that makes vi's vision tilt sideways. and before she knows it, she's sucking a dark hickey into the skin of your neck and your fingers are fisting in her hair, making her groan.

she sinks her teeth into your skin, pulling back to pin you bodily to the wall, pressing a leg up between yours just to hear you keen.

"admit it -- don't i take good care of you?"

you whine through pursed lips, your eyes glazed out as you frown up at her, nodding faintly. she grins, feeling the heady, full-body rush of knowing she's got you right where she's been wanting you for weeks, for months.

"c'mon, say it --" she teases her free hand down the length of your body to flip up the hem of the large t-shirt you're wearing (it's one of hers; the thought catches her off-guard like punch to the side, the knowledge of it wringing through her with a bell-toll of desire) to skim along the hem of your cotton panties.

"y-you're -- you're not a bad roommate -- vi --" you twitch as she dips her fingers into the waistband of your panties and slicks a finger between your folds, hissing out at how wet you already are.

vi's grin is sour-candy-cyanide as she pulls back, her gaze half-lidded as she watches you chewing on your bottom lip.

"god, princess -- did that turn you on?" she asks, though both of you know the question is useless and purely rhetorical. she swallows down a thick moan as she inches a finger between your messy cunt lips to tease at your entrance. your answering huff only makes her chuckle, and this time, she does groan out when she finally eases her finger into you, feeling your hot, wet walls flutter around her, making her own cunt twinge with want.

"mm... i think i'd still like a formal apology -- tell you what," she says, putting on a false, considerate air even as she teases her finger in and out of you, nice and slow, almost thoughtlessly as she cocks her head, "admit that you were wrong and... we'll call it even, yeah?"

immediately, she sees you stiffen, feels you clench down around her as your eyes snap up. you've always hated admitting you were wrong, and even when you have apologized in the past, you've always danced around the words. and vi had thought it was just a cute little quirk of yours, chalked it up to your massive brain -- it must be so hard for someone so smart, so used to be in unequivocally correct all the time to admit, out loud, that they'd been mistaken.

a rush of heat crests into her chest at the thought, and she quirks her finger inside you to brush against the tender spot she knows will get your eyes rolling.

and it does, but not before you give your head a tiny, obdurate shake.

vi sighs, licking her lips as she brushes her thumb against your clit and watches, with a thrumming satisfaction, as your mouth falls open around a silent moan.

"just three little words, princess -- and then... i promise, i'll make you feel so good..." she croons the words into your ear, shudders at the thought of making you cum, of how good you'd look shaking over her fingers. "unless," she hums, "you really would like me to edge you into next tuesday, which --" she makes a noncommittal sound, "saturday afternoon and i've got early morning practice tomorrow, but i'm sure something can be arranged."

you let out another debauched moan as she bullies a second finger into your wet heat, still fucking them into you at that mind-bogglingly slow pace. you try to arch your hips, but her other hand slams you back against the wall.

she tuts, leaning back ever so slightly.

"uh-uh, i don't think so."

you scowl and try to shove at her shoulder, but there's no strength in the motion and the hand on your hip flashes up a second later to grab both your wrists, pinning them above your head in a single fluid move.

it happens so quickly you barely have time to gasp before she's leaning forward again, her words hot as she murmurs into your ear --

"go on, princess, try to fight back -- give me a reason to get rough with you."

at once, you still, but the you give both your wrists an experimental tug, only for vi to tighten her hold. you can't quite stop the moan that works its way out of your throat, nor can you control the way your pussy slickens impossibly around her fingers as she laughs, the sound caught somewhere between amused and mocking.

"gonna admit that you were wrong, princess?" she asks, crooking an eyebrow.

you press your lips and whine, looking away. her fingers pump a few more times inside you, her thumb finding your clit with truly disarming ease.

"vi -- f-fuck --!" you yelp as she flicks her thumb and your whole body jolts, electric tendrils of pleasure ricocheting through you, harsh as a loose bullet.

"there y'go... c'mon -- be a good girl and say it --" vi can't quite stop the way her voice frays around the edges as she leans in to ghost her lips over yours, her vision tunneling as she starts to fuck you with her fingers proper, working them into you in tandem with the rhythm of your hips, watching as you expression falls slack.

"mm -- nnngh -- please, vi -- i --"

"ah... that's pretty good but... still not an apology," she muses, slowing her pace again, dragging both her fingers along your inner walls, pressing them up, watching as your eyes squeeze shut, your entire body jerking as she massages your clit from both ends.

"i -- i'm s-sorry, 'm sorry, i -- i was wrong -- fuck -- oh -- shit, that feels -- v-vi --!"

"thereee you go... that wasn't so hard, was it?" vi soothes, picking up the pace, grinning as you keen, your knees nearly giving out, but she's got you held up by your wrists, her thigh still slotted between yours, her fingers plowing into you till you're almost writhing against her.

she lets out a long groan, low and thick, a panting gasp working out of her as she fucks you through your orgasm, watching with soft-eyed wonder as you whimper, your whole body twitching with the aftershocks.

"hey, hey, princess -- you still with me?" she asks, letting go of your wrists in favor of cupping your cheek, swiping a tender thumb along your skin. you lean into her touch, your head lolling ever so slightly as your lashes flutter and you fight to focus your eyes.

"y-yeah -- think so..."

vi laughs, slowly tugging her fingers from you, unable to keep a grin from twisting at the corner of her mouth as you shudder at the loss.

"jesus, princess..." she says, holding up her hand -- there's wetness slicking down the back of her hand all the way to her wrist. you blink at it for a second before a tiny, embarrassed scowl digs itself between your brows.

"i -- you --"

vi laughs, shaking out her hand and reaching for an errant napkin on the dining table to wipe down her fingers.

"no, no -- i'm not makin' fun -- it's actually kinda hot."

you purse your lips, cheeks stained damson as she watches you readjust your panties, tugging on the hem of her large t-shirt.

"still think i'm a bad roommate?" vi asks, biting back a smile, her heart caught somewhere in the back of her throat.

you look up, eyes bright, your head already shaking.

"no! i -- that was --" your head drops back down even as your shoulders shrug up, "i... i was just annoyed but i -- i didn't mean it --"

a beat, in which vi finishes cleaning off her hand and strides over to throw the wad of napkin in the trash.

"i... i'm sorry," you say, your voice small.

vi looks up to find you watching her from beneath your lashes.

"'s okay, princess. apology accepted." she smiles, and this time there's no poison hidden in it's corners, only the steady sweetness you've come to know her for.

"i -- uhm --" you clear your throat, still worrying at the hem of the shirt. vi cocks her head.

"i can make it up to you... if you want --" you say, barely meeting her eyes.

vi pauses, her eyebrows kicking up. a second later, she's grinning again, rolling back her shoulders and leaning into one of her hips.

"yeah? and... how'dyou propose you do that?"

you bite down on your bottom lip and jerk your head towards the open door of your bedroom, even as vi's stomach gives an unruly lurch at the clear implication.

she fights to keep her expression flat as she looks you over.

"damn, princess -- you really weren't kidding about that tuesday-thing, huh?"

you crinkle your nose, sniffing slightly, even as vi brushes by you, breezing into your bedroom and plopping herself onto your bed with a satisfied sigh. you follow her in a moment later, climbing on after her and giving her shoulder a tiny shove so that she's backed up against the apartment wall and you've got room to straddle her lap.

"well... i have been thinking about it for... for a while," you admit, your voice soft as you thumb at the collar of her shirt.

vi groans, her palms settling around your waist, fingers digging into the plush of your ass.

"yeah? oh fuck -- ah --" she jerks as you trail your hands down her front, pausing to tease her nipples over the material of her shirt.

"mhm..."

"what else have you been imagining in that big, beautiful brain of yours, hm?" vi asks, breath hitching as you tug the shirt from her and lean down to ghost your mouth over her hardening nipples, tongue flickering out to tease at the cold metal piercings.

"lotsa stuff," you say, almost casual as you wiggle down to settle yourself comfortably between her legs, glancing up at her with what can only be called a chesire-grin --

"w-wanna tell me about it?" vi asks, reaching up a hand to run her fingers through your hair. you hum, laving a tongue against her nipple before sucking the entire thing into your mouth.

a groan punches out of her as she shudders, her head tipping back with a dull thunk against the apartment wall.

"i could... but it'd be so much faster if i just... showed you, no?"

[satorella]

“𝐒𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐳𝐢𝐠𝐞 𝐋𝐢𝐞𝐛𝐞”

[𝑯𝒊𝒔 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒚 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆]

As always, 𝐊𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐫 flew you out to one of his away games, not being able to bear the thought of you not being there with him in person. You were his good luck charm in the flesh, after all.

He watches from the king sized hotel bed, as you hike one of your legs up on the edge of the tub, rubbing lotion onto your freshly showered skin. This wasn’t the first time you guys would be spending the night together, but despite being together for over six months now, you guys have never… done it. Or anything of the sort. You were fine going at his pace, though you couldn’t help but tease him every now and then.

"Deine Haut sieht weich aus, meine Schatz." [Your skin looks soft, my darling.] He says, looking at you from over his glasses frame. “Ja? You wanna feel?” You teased like usual, sauntering over to him in just a towel. To your surprise, he set his glasses and laptop down on the nightstand before reaching over and resting his hand on your thigh. There was a moment of silence while you just watched him run the tips of his fingers up and down your skin… waiting to see what he would do next. He’s never really touched you like this; bare skin and nothing underneath. He always shied away… in a cool and nonchalant manner, of course, making up excuses to get up and do this/that. Not this time though. The way you got riled up at his game earlier really had him hot and bothered all evening. Sure, he’s had his fair share of fights. But seeing his sweet, and usually level-headed, girlfriend get mean for him was a new side of you that he hasn’t seen before. “You’ve been quiet since we got back from the afterparty.” You break the silence, but he doesn’t respond. You continued to watch as he caressed the inside of your thigh. “Y’know… if you keep touching me like this… I might steal something of yours tonight.” You warn, but in a playful tone. His hand moves slowly up to your neck and wraps his fingers around you in a firm, but gentle, grip. “Is that a threat or a promise…?”

HA?!?! Do your ears deceive you?!

You raised a brow; your body growing hot. He tightened his fingers around your neck just a bit, feeling your pulse. He could feel how excited you were. “Can’t steal something that was already yours for the taking, mein Engel.” [My Angel.] He moved to press a kiss against your neck, and then gently sunk his teeth into your sensitive skin. Your eyes fluttered at the sensation. Oh how long you’ve been waiting to devour this man. Or for him to devour you! “Ich will dich…” [I want you…] He whispers, the words sending warm chills down your spine. “Are you sure, mein Liebe?” Your eyes were dark; pupils dilating at the thought of being the only one he’s ever been with. He pulled your towel open and tossed it aside. “I want you to be my first and only.” At his consent, you wasted no time throwing yourself at him, pouncing on him like a damn feline; capturing his lips in a hot, tongue filled, kiss. He caught you in his arms, leaning back against the pillows as your lips connected. One of his hands gently tangled itself in your hair, while the other rested on your hip; eventually sliding down to grab one of your plump ass cheeks.

He didn’t really care for relationships or sex, before you. Soccer took up most of his time, and thankfully so, because now he was able to save himself for you: his first love. Thinking about it only made him even more hungry for you. “I love you…” You said in between kisses. “And I love you.” He replied, before nipping at your bottom lip and then sucking on it ever so softly. “Touch me, Micha… p-please…” You whimpered desperately, straddling him and taking his hands to place them over your breasts for him to squeeze. He hesitated for a moment, not quite sure how hard to squeeze them. He didn’t want to hurt you. “Do whatever you want, baby.” You reassured him, “I can take it.” His heart was pounding in his chest. The most beautiful girl in the world was here, with him, naked and desperate for his virgin dick. What if he wasn’t good? What if he couldn’t satisfy you? You could practically see the gears turning in his head. The proud prodigy, Michael Kaiser, was actually unsure of himself right now. “Here… like this…” You cupped his hands that were over your breasts, and squeezed a bit to where it was just right, then let go for him to continue on his own. His thumb accidentally swiped over your hard nipple, causing you to let out a small hiss. He looks up at you with slight concern, but you shook your head. “Nngh, do it again!” You begged like a whore.

Oh? His dick definitely twitched at that.

He did it again, earning a whiny moan from you. You’ve been so patient for the last six months, but now that you were here… you weren’t sure how much more teasing you could take. He lifted his hips slightly to pull his sweats down, revealing his deliciously hard and leaking cock. You couldn’t help but stare, a mischievous grin starting to form on your face. This was more than you bargained for. Not that you were complaining. “You… you’ve been keeping him from me all this time?” All the heat rose to his cheeks at your question, “W-Was meinst du?” [W-What do you mean?] Rather than answering him, you slid down his legs a little to where you were face to face with his third leg, and wrapped your lips around his pink tip. He couldn’t help the guttural groan that escaped his lips as you swirled your warm tongue around his sensitive head, your saliva mixing with his pre. “Ah- Ah…” He groaned as you took more of him in your mouth, one hand gripping your hair and the other gripping the sheets for dear life. You made it halfway down his shaft before you gagged, but pressed on, wanting to make your boyfriend’s first time memorable. “Ah… t-take it all…” He hissed, involuntarily bucking his hips up from how good your mouth felt.

He was fucking crazy, psychotic even, for waiting this long in your relationship to finally get his dick wet by you. “Prinzessin… w-wait…” He said breathlessly. You released him slowly, making him twitch slightly. “What’s wrong baby?” “I want to cum in you first before I cum anywhere else.” He caresses your face. His words made you clench around nothing. “Oh ja?” You smirked. He reciprocated your smirk and pulled you back up to him, only to flip you both so that he was now on top of you. He made himself comfortable in between your thighs, his tip poking at your entrance. He cradled your head as he slowly pushed in, inch by inch, your moans being muffled by his shoulder and nails digging into his back at the big stretch. “Meine Liebe…” He pants, “Why didn’t we do this sooner… f-fuck… Du fühlst dich so gut…” [You feel so good…] “M-Micha! Don’t stop!” You wrapped your legs around his waist.

You weren’t really expecting him to last long, but what did surprise you, was how well he was doing. How attentive he was, despite this being his first time. He placed open mouthed kisses down your temple, before nuzzling his face in your hair. “I want to do this all night…” His breath tickles your ear, making you shiver under him. At that, he decides to try something, “I’m sorry, Engel...” Before you could respond, he thrusts hard, earning a pornographic moan from you. He does it again, and again, the sound of skin slapping against skin and your broken moans were all that could be heard. He was too lost in your pussy to care if his teammates could hear through the hotel walls. You could feel yourself getting closer to the edge as he continues his ruthless thrusts and pace; the tip of his dick hitting your sweet spot over and over. “I managed to find it on my first try, hm?” He chuckles breathlessly. A cocky smirk appears on his handsomely blissed out face. “I want to feel you cum on my cock…” He whispers, licking the shell of your ear, causing you to clench around him. “Ja meine Prinzessin? Go on.” His encouragement was all you needed before you finally let go. Everything you’ve been holding back for the last couple of months finally gushing out, creating a white ring around the base of his dick. You don’t remember the last time you ever had an orgasm like this. One that made your toes curl and eyes roll back. “You’re going to let me fill you up, ja?” He hisses as his thrusts start to get sloppy. “Give it all to me…” You whimpered after you’ve come down from your high. “So kostbar... meine schöne Blume…” [So precious… my beautiful flower…] He whispered, resting his forehead against yours; looking into your eyes as ropes of his cum painted your walls white. His body trembled as he pushed deeper into you, making sure none of his seed went to waste; plugging you up.

A few minutes later, he relaxed atop of you. He laid his head over your beating heart, just listening; trying to catch his breath. You ran your fingers through his sweaty blonde hair, “Looks like we’ll have to shower again.” You chuckled softly.

He lifts his head and smiles down at you.

“Round two in the bath?”

“Why don’t you ever make noises like that?” One of Kaiser’s teammates, who was staying in the next room, asks his girlfriend; earning a flick on the forehead from her.

© 𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒-𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟓. 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝.

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[suempu]

caleb blurbs because this text has me twirling my hair

-> minor spoilers for his interactions, jealousy (is it really a surprise atp lol), he's a bit petty, typical yandere caleb -> no pronouns used for the reader, not proofread (scratches head)

<3

yeah you might think he’s some kind of mean hard dom 24/7 (and he’s definitely capable of that based on the situation) but first and foremost, all he wants is to good for you.

caleb’s always been a giver. he’s someone you’ve relied on ever since you were both young and he’d be damned if you ever stopped coming to him for help.

he wants to drink your tears, eat your skin, and live from each beat and pump of your heart. everything about you consumes him, you're his entire world— of course he'd do anything and everything for you.

from every miniscule muscle twitch of your face, he can read and dissect whatever you're feeling and thinking. he prides himself in knowing about your wants and needs.

so how would he feel when he finds you strolling around Linkon with what looks like if a bunny grew human legs. he feels a twitch in his eye.

or when he hears your heartfelt laughter in Meows Cafe with a suspicious looking man with platinum hair, who looks far too serious to be caught in such a cutesy place. his hand curls into a knuckle, eager to interrupt your outing where it not for the look of your face. and for the fact that he died.

it happens numerous times, different occasions of him spotting you in the most random locations. his squad member talking about a recent gallery of her favorite artist, caleb's about to tell her off about work until he catches the sight of your figure on the photo of her phone.

caleb's shaking his head with a frown. he's gone. he's been dead for a year... and he finds out you've been frolicking the fields with these men. holding hands with these people as if his fake body wasn't buried deep into the ground of the cemetery you visit each week.

post homecoming wings, he's crashing the party no matter the place and time. he keeps up the charming and boyish, childhood best friend act and tries to compete with the others. he does not give a fuck, he'll do what it takes to make you realize that he's much more capable than your replacements.

"oh, and who might this be?" his smile is so shiny and bright as if his chest isn't bubbling with anger. caleb traps you with a side hug, arms resting against your shoulder. "don't remember you introducing this face to me yet, sweets."

you'd have to drag him away after that, nagging when you get home that he couldn't just try and intimidate every person he sees you hang out with.

he's crossing his arms, watching you pace around your apartment with a sour look on your face. he only smiles condescendingly.

"come on, they aren't even all that. its not that big of a deal, pip. if he can't handle it then.... i guess he's just not good for you."

he's gonna downplay shit while wearing the most trustworthy smile ever and you're not stupid enough to believe half of the stuff he's saying, leading to squabbles.

but if caleb's being honest... he loves that you're fighting back. it reminds him of your childhood arguments and he's relishing in every moment he can spend with you.

he's too proud and sure that your rightful place is in his arms. he's not even worried that you're defying him. that's how big his head is, he's not even worried. (spoiler, he is very worried.)

"hey, come over to mine, i cooked your favorite ;)"

throughout the meal, he'll act like a mom chastising your boyfriends. always criticizing them, questioning their motives. you huff and puff, defending your... friends(?) with a determined look on your face.

caleb reaches a hand out and wipes the corner of your lip. "got a lil somethin' there, sweets." he murmurs before licking his finger off, maintaining eye contact. "they take care of you right?" he half chuckles— half scoffs. "bet they don't even know how you like your food prepared." "caleb..."

but no matter, he'll let you spread your wings, run around with these boys to god knows where. he'll cement his place in your life, being with you ever since you've been kids, and the heavens will have to drag his bones to get him away from you.

you'll understand soon enough that in the end— its always and only going to be him.

[siriuslylantsov]

canine tendencies

pairing: sirius black x reader

description: in which, you put charms in sirius' hair and confront certain traits of his.

tags: fluff! fem!reader, mmm pining, cuddling, totally platonic activities going on here, r is muggle-born hence the vet and dog anatomy knowledge, sirius is a puppy agenda, pretty women from the 70s mentioned (dont pay much attention to it), flirting.

a/n: staying true to my username with more sirius black. wanna play with his hair for days tbh. happy reading!

wc: 1.7k

“you don't know when to give up, do you?”

you raise your chin indignantly, “i'm stubborn.”

sirius fixes you with a withering glare, it doesn't pack much of a punch but you can tell he's stalling. he finally relents with a long sigh, ever the dramatic. you squeal, walking over to his bed with a little pouch that jingled as you moved. you nudge at his shoulders to lean against the headboard and set yourself down beside him. he grumbles, muttering something along the lines of waste of time and how your neck is gonna hurt. you bite back a smile at his cause for concern: you. 

“complain all you want, but you know this is gonna look good,” you muse, with an air of smugness. “you’ll be singing my praises.”

he lets his head hang to the side, looking at you, up those pretty eyelashes of his. his eyes are indifferent, yet they crinkle at the corners, trying to not prove you right. pools of grey and blue, you could drown in them. 

your elbow is wedged between a pillow and the headboard, propping you up, knees curled, poking into his thigh. his legs are sprawled out in an obnoxious man spread, effectively making you move closer so you don't fall off the bed–that's small enough regardless of the space he's taking up. 

he's avoided you all day since you proposed the idea at breakfast: putting charms in his hair. what's strange is that you’ve done his hair plenty of times before sans protest. you ponder it quietly, simultaneously willing him to concede with squinted eyes, as he deadpans you.

if he could, he would've told you that he’s afraid to be alone with you. not that he hasn't been before, he has and he's been this close to you too (he constantly is). but something is different now, something about your hands in his hair that he can’t deal with. especially recently, you've taken to scratching behind his ear and it drives him a little crazy. he won't stop you though, on account of it feeling so good. usually, you're around the others so he can shift his focus elsewhere rather than think about how softly your fingers pad over his scalp, but now you’re alone and he's cursing lily for dragging his friends to some stupid baking endeavour that he stealthily got out of. 

you watch as annoyance passes over his features (directed to lily but you don't know that) and it instantly worries you. maybe he was serious about not wanting this, were you pushing him?

“sirius, if you really don't want me to do this,” you start, a nervous edge to your fast rush of words, “please tell me. i don't want to force you into doing anything-”

“hey,” he stops you with a hand over your arm and a small reassuring smile. “i'm sorry, i do. i just think you’re hot when you're irritated.”

“you must think i'm farah fawcett all the time then,” you mutter, rooting around in your pouch for the gold cuffs you thought would suit him. “and i'm not irritated, i have a surprising amount of patience for you,” you correct, inspecting the cuffs in your palm.

sirius sits up a bit to peer at them, chewing his lip in thought. “mmm not her. barbara carrera maybe,” he adds, looking back at you, his resistance fading away.

your eyebrows shoot up slightly, in mild shock. “she's pretty,” you remark to his comparison and the seemingly honest delivery.

“yeah,” he says, incredibly earnest, “so are you.”

curious and curiouser. “you think flirting with me is gonna get you out of this?”

“i don't know, is it working?”

“nope,” you say curtly, bring your hand back up to his face, this time with a few charms as well. “pick.”

he does, and sets them in your other hand held out. you begin parting his hair for the braids, you settle for placing them under the top of his hair, since his layers are short they'll peek through nicely. you tie a sloppy half bun to the unused portion of his hair so it's out of the way and section out a piece to braid. 

sirius dutifully holds the gold adornments in his hand as you work, suddenly quiet. he always gets like this, you've noticed. all quip remarks are silenced when your hands are in his hair. you make note to tease him about it later but for now you're content to stay quiet. 

he's humming something quietly, a tune you're unfamiliar with, it's ok he’ll tell you later. it fills the silence nicely. you pick the first charm, looping it into a strand of hair and continuing the braid to secure it. his hair is unbelievably soft, it's probably why you like touching it so much. you both know it gets greasier faster because of your constant contact but sirius makes no move to stop you, ever, simply muttering a spell to revive it. 

it goes on like this for about ten minutes, mostly because the charms were a bit more difficult to work with than you thought and also because you were extremely wary of trying not to tangle his hair. he stares at you diligently out of his periphery and you try not to meet his gaze. 

when you're done you lift the handheld mirror to his face. fuck, he looks beautiful. you have to look away, allowing him to assess everything on his own. 

he shoots you a blinding grin, looking exceedingly pleased with how it turned out, “thanks, dove!”

“you’re welcome,” you respond. “it looks good, right?”

he nods, looking into the mirror again. “really good. you did an amazing job.”

your heart flutters at the praise but you don't let it show, accepting his words with a smug smile. it doesn't last long though as he jumps you with a hug, winding you. arms wrapped around your middle, his head rests on your chest, just below your chin, squeezing you in appreciation. you wrap your arms around him in tandem and lean back against the headboard and the pillows, practically pulling half of him on top of you.

it's rough and tumble for a moment before he settles with a low hum, arms still circled around your torso. he knows they’ll go numb the longer he stays like this but he doesn't care. 

you trail one hand into his hair instinctively, like it's second nature. your nails lightly graze over that spot behind his ear and he’s done for. when you begin scratching, he melts, like truly melts against your body, letting out a long, pleased sigh. he makes note to kick himself later for acting like this. beneath his cheek, he feels you shake. are you laughing?

he lifts his head, a little incredulous. “what?”

you chuckle, seeing how he blinks away the blissful air to his expression. “nothing, it’s just-”

he looks at you expectantly as you contemplate your words.

you let out an amused snort before speaking again, “i don't know if it's, like, a subconscious response to your animagus form but dogs really like being scratched behind their ears.”

he gapes at you, affronted. “are you calling me a dog?”

“you are, padfoot.”

he whines petulantly before dropping back to your chest. he noses at your sternum, his own wordless way of getting you to continue. so you do. 

“dogs have a very concentrated area of nerve endings here,” you explain quietly, scratching his scalp again, just behind his ear. “when stimulated, it causes the brain to release endorphins, making them feel relaxed.”

he hums in thought though it sounds more pleased and it scarcely proves your point. 

“how’d you know that?” he asks, voice muffled by your shirt.

“my friend had to take her cat to the vet and i read one of those pet magazines to pass the time,” you murmur, your voice still quiet as you begin to feel sirius growing heavier over you.

“y’so smart,” he slurs, words trailing off in the beginning of sleep.

“don't fall asleep,” you whisper, though you make no effort to wake him up.

he mumbles something incoherent, nuzzling further into your neck but giving you a little grace by shuffling off of your body. one leg is still tangled with yours and his arms are still tightly wrapped around you but at least he's not crushing you. 

“tell me more,” he requests, words trailing up at the end in question.

you think for a moment, reaching to the depths of your brain to retrieve the dog facts you read about that day, perking up when you do.

“hmmm dogs have incredibly sensitive noses. they have up to, like, 300 million scent receptors, where humans have about 5 million and the part of their brain that processes smells is 40 times larger than ours,” you mumble, tapping a light finger to the tip of his nose. 

“cool,” he exclaims, though it's anything but. his eyes slowly flutter shut as you coil a piece of his hair, sealing your fate for the rest of the evening. that is until, much to sirius’ dismay, his roommates come bursting in.

flour scattered over their clothes and hair alike, they’re boisterous as they enter, chatting something along the lines of baking is actually kinda fun. he groans against your body, sleep stretching far and wide from his grasp. you stifle a laugh as he glares at them annoyedly. they pay no attention to the boy, instead making plans on playing quidditch. to this, he brightens. jumping from the bed at a speed you can't quite justify, not being overly fond of the sport yourself. you were more inclined to flying for fun, rather than competition. 

he glances back at you, tentatively, asking for your permission almost. you shrug indifferently, you were going to make your way down to the field anyway. he grins and leans down, pressing a quick firm kiss to your cheek before rushing after the dwindling voices down the stairs, his own broom in tow. 

you bite your lip to push down the giggle that bubbles up in your throat, maybe there are some innate canine tendencies.

reblogs and replies are appreciated :) | m.list

[bluem1lls]

hiii!! are u gonna write a part two for that one se mi x guard reader angst? )(⁠ﾉﾟ⁠0ﾟ⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠~(⁠ﾉﾟ⁠0ﾟ⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠~

✧₊⁺ what am i supposed to do without you?

✦ synopsis: you don't leave her mind, not after everything you two went through. so when she finally sees you again in a date with someone else, she knows it's time to talk.

tw: minors dni, jealous se-mi, fluff, smut, fingering/oral (r!receiving), a bit of angst

authors note: hiiii, sooo after the poll, this one won!!! so finally, part 2 of guard!reader x se-mi. also im sorry for the lack of update, im super busy with work and also a bit blocked, but tysm for all the requests! i hope u like it!💓

⋆｡°✩ "fuck" my head hits the wall as he pushes me.

"i did warn you, didn't i?" he said as i nodded weakly. "and what did you do? you helped a player. not only helped her, you saved her."

"it won't" i tried to regain my breathing. "it won't happen again"

"you got attached!"

"i'm sorry." i whisper to my uncle as he turns around. i know he's mad.

"if he finds out he'll kill you."

"he probably saw the cameras already" i say to him as my uncle frozens in place.

"you didn't know? you didn't... see him?" he asks as i stared confused. "he's out there. playing"

my eyebrows raise in surprise. "playing?" a shiver runs through my spine to even imagine what he would do to se-mi to survive his own game.

"listen to me." he speaks to me in a serious manner as i bit my lip. "i'm gonna delete the footage and you're gonna leave this fucking place and you won't look back"

"w-what? but.. mom and.. dad-"

"i don't want you here ever again. they'll understand" he says as he presses the button, erasing the videos as i bit my lip hard enough. i'm probably drawing blood.

"are they.. releasing her?" i ask as he turns around. he stays still, letting out a sharp breath. "tomorrow. they voted and they chose to stop playing"

a sigh of relief leaves my body as i turn around, putting on my mask.

"t-thank you" i whisper as he gives me a head nod. i know damn well how he is. and i also know he's doing this for me, and it's not easy. he places his black mask on, matching with his black suit as he sits down on his couch. staring once more at the cameras.

⋆｡°✩ i sigh as i get home. i softly pet my kitten after picking it up from my mom's.

i sat on the couch, exhausted. my head hurts, i miss se-mi and i feel miserable. i thought i was doing the right thing, but now i lost my job and i lost my.. friend? my girlfriend?

my head on my hands as i try to not cry.

⋆｡°✩ it's been two months.

i know she's okay, i made sure of that. but she hasn't texted, called or even came to see me.

and she seems to be okay without me (yes, i stalk her instagram), but i'm not, and that's exactly why i let this happened.

"sam.. no. i'm not ready.." i stare at her.

"look at her! she's a cutie! it's only one date. i know you two will get along great and if you hate her then i swear i'll leave you alone but please. i'm your best friend and i hate seeing you like this, maybe if you try to move on.. it'd be for the best" she begged me as i sighed.

"just one." i say resigned as she shouts in excitment.

and now i'm regretting that, because sam keeps talking about this girl while all i can think about is her.

⋆｡°✩ "where did you said you worked at?" she says as i sip my gin tonic, almost choking on it.

"uh.. next question" i reply with an awkward smile as she chuckles.

"you're so cute" she gives me a smirk. "sam said you were really pretty and.. she wasn't wrong" she says, softly caressing my face, her gaze roaming all over my features.

i stare at her nervously giving her a soft smile. she pulls away, turning around to order more beer for her as i cross my legs and let my eyes wander around the place to distract myself.

it's a pub, and although it's dark i can see the purple details it has. the bar fully equipped with all the finest alcohol, se-mi sitting on one of the stalls of the bar.

my eyes widen.

what?

my stare focused on her as i feel the air being knocked out of my lungs. she catches me staring, her cold gaze lingers on mine. i can see her surprised expression, quickly turning into a cold one as her eyes go to my date. she takes a sip from her beer, her eyes never leaving mine. i can feel the girl besides me talking but i honestly, i can't even pay attention.

"so was it good?" she asks, snapping me from my thoughts as my gaze leaves se-mi for a second to focus on her.

"huh?"

"the drink.. was it good?" she says as i give her a very forced smile while i nod.

"so good. hey, would you mind bringing my coat from the hanger?" i smile at her as she nods. she quickly gets up to get it as i stare at the ceiling.

what do i do? i leave? do i run to the bathroom to hide? should i talk to her? i keep going like nothing happened?

as i remove my stare from the ceiling, i see her standing up in front of me, making me let out a shaky breath.

guess she decided for me.

she stares at me up and down, her eyes roaming my body. she extends me a drink with her right hand while her left is holding hers.

"gin tonic for you.. like always" se-mi says as i slowly take it. her fingers caressing mine for a second, making me shiver. "you look.. so beautiful"

"don't do this.. please" i beg her in whispers. she drinks her beer while her gaze stares at me intensely.

"i just want to talk to you." her eyes flash with.. guilt? as she speaks.

i stare at her in disbelief with wide eyes. "no? i'm on a date!"

she scoffs. "please, you kicked her out. i know you that much" she says in a low, hard tone. "we really need to talk. please"

my eyes roamed her face, i bit my lip thinking about it for a second as i get up, grabbing my purse as i let her guide me to the way out.

i stop where the hanger is as i see the girl with my stuff turned around. i touch her shoulder as she turns at me with a smile. "hey, i'm so sorry but something came up and i need to leave. you're.. amazing, and incredibly sweet" i speak as her expression falls.

"oh.. do you want me to come-"

"no. b-but thank you" i say to her quickly as i can see her defeated stare. i grab my coat, walking to find se-mi at the door. we get into her car in a weird tense silence until we get to my place.

i leave my stuff on the couch as i turn to stare at her, her hands on her pockets as she bites her lip piercing.

"why.. were you with her?" she breaks the silence as i stare at her in disbelief. is she actually asking me that like a jealous girlfriend?

"why? oh i'm sorry. i didn't realized that after you broke my heart i had to ask for your permission" i dry chuckle as she scoffs, annoyed, but her eyes are filled with guilt and remorse as she stares at me.

"i'm sorry. i.. i know why you did what you did. and maybe i didn't understood at first, and it took me a while.."

"you never called back. you never texted, you never came to see me, you didn't cared to know how i was-"

"i couldn't talk to you! not after... the games. i asked sam about you every single day. i begged her to not tell you anything, but god, there hasn't been a day in where you left my mind" she says, frustrated. her jaw clenches as i stare wide eyed. fucking sam.

i sigh as i lean myself against the wall. my hands cover my face. "what was i supposed to do? i thought you ghosted me. i thought you hated me se-mi. so i tried.. to just.. move on" i say as i bite the inside of my cheek with anxiety. her cold gaze stays on me as she takes a step closer.

her eyes burning with jealousy, darkening as her stare roamed through my body. "did it worked?"

my chest tightens as i slowly shook my head no. she closes the distance betweens us, trapping me against the wall as i let out a small gasp, feeling her hands on my waist. the cold silver rings making me shiver.

she speaks in a low hiss. "it didn't? you know why it didn't worked?" one of her hands leaves my waist, her fingers softly lifting my chin. "because you never stopped being mine" she says as my heart thumps on my chest. our breathings getting a little more ragged.

"why are you doing this? after two months se-mi... it's been two months." my eyes fill with tears as she caress my face with her hand.

her lips twitch a little as she hears my weak reply. "let me make it up to you"

her hands lowers to my neck as she closes the distance between us. our lips smashing together as we both let out a small moan. my hands roamed through her body desesperately until i wrap my arms around her neck as her other hand lowers to grip my hips.

my body melts into her touch, the kiss becoming hard and desesperate, expressing the way we missed eachother. our pent up anger and frustration explodes as our bodies pressed together.

"i love you so much" i whisper in a shaky breath in between kisses, her arms tighten around me as she keeps the kisses going.

"i love you so much too" she replies, her lips never leaving mine as she lifts me up, her hands on my thighs as she carries me to my room. she softly positions me in bed. i lay as she gets on top of me. i kiss her hungrily as she moans. she breaks the kiss to lower herself, her face meeting my center as she lifts my skirt. her tongue licks over my panties, spreading the wet patch as i whimper. my hands grip her hair as she moves them aside, circling my clit with her tongue.

"missed this so much" she says, giving a kiss on my clit as she teases my entrance.

"please" my head falls back as i beg her. i can feel her smirk as she pushes two fingers inside, going back with her tongue, picking up a faster pace as i moan.

she thrusts deeper and faster as my moans get louder. when she feels me clenching around her fingers, her tongue swirls around my clit. she smirks, pleased to have me trembling under her touch.

"gonna cum please, please, please" i cry out as my fingers pull her hair making her hiss. her lips around my clit as she sucks, making me whimper.

i feel the heat on my lower stomach snap, i clench around her fingers once again as my eyes roll back and i finish with a long and loud moan. she licks me clean until i'm whining, overstimulated.

"oh baby, this is just the first round" she cups my face as i stare, half-lidded.

⋆｡°✩ i stopped missing her, because she stays right by my side. after a few months, she finally asks me to be her girlfriend, which the question feels odd giving the fact that we're almost living together at that point, but i say yes nonetheless (of course).

⋆｡°✩ and when we sleep, she has nightmares all the time. i try to wake her up gently, with soft kisses as i hug her. we end up falling asleep together, always cuddling to feel eachother.

and i have mines too.

i can feel her shaking me slowly as i gasp. "it's okay-"

"i thought i lost you" i murmur, still sleepy but teary.

"you didn't. i'm right here" she says in a cooed whisper. she hugs me tightly, pressing me against her body as i grip her shirt, scared that if i let her go, she'll disappear.

⋆｡°✩ and we try to overcome the trauma of the games, the deaths, and it's hard, but somehow with her by my side, it becomes easier.

⋆｡°✩ and as we spend all our weekeds in bed, i can't help but wonder what would've happened if i was honest from the beggining. but right now she's here, laying in my bed, caressing my hair as i close my eyes and my head rests on her chest..

and i wouldn't have it any other way.

even if i'd had to go through it again and again. i'd do it for her.

[babydollslibrary]

YOU’RE ON YOUR OWN, KID — JACK HUGHES

jack hughes x fem!reader

published: February 3rd, 2023

summary: in which y/n spent her high school years changing herself to become what she thought was Jack’s type, but when they meet again a few years later, she learns that she never needed to change in order for him to like her.

warnings: eating disorder mentioned and lightly described, weed mention/use, alcohol mention/use, light profanity, changing yourself for a guy (yes, that is a warning), this is mostly angst.

notes: for timeline purposes, i should mention that i wrote this with a summer birthday in mind for y/n.

important: THIS FIC IS NOT ROMANTICIZING ED’S.

GIF by teex

14 YEARS OLD

it was in my freshman year of high school that i noticed i was a bit different than other girls my age. with them having middle school relationships under their belt, and most being in sports rather than chorus like me. i didn’t really think much of it, as boys played no part in my life besides as defacto muses for my songs. but i still felt out of place.

16 YEARS OLD

it was in the summer before my junior year that i met Jack Hughes. a USNTDP hockey player and my first official crush. my family had rented a lake house and the Hughes’ ended up being our neighbors for the summer. My parents quickly befriended Ellen and Jim, and when they realized they had children the same age, all four of them tried for weeks to get Jack and i to hang out. but to no avail, because i was shutting myself in my room for some quiet writing time, and Jack was always busy with his brothers. but when i had slipped away from my parents to go for an evening swim one night, apparently Jack had the same idea. we saw each other at the lake and got to talking, becoming friends pretty quickly after that. it was 2 weeks into the friendship that i realized he made me feel things that my other guy friends didn’t.

when we split up at the end of the summer, we promised to text, but a couple weeks later i was pleasantly surprised when i was called into the school office to show him around. with pretty similar schedules, we were seeing each other in school quite a bit, and from that our friendship only grew. i sat with him and his friends at lunch, he would pick me up for school on the mornings that my car wouldn’t start, and he would even walk me to my classes sometimes.

but because of that, my feelings grew too. i did a full one-eighty, changing my entire personality. i stopped spending my weekends at home, instead opting to attend parties, just in hopes of seeing Jack there. and i found any excuse to talk to him, for even just a minute.

**

i’m sitting in my room, struggling with my math homework when my phone starts ringing. i peel my eyes away from the worksheet to glance over at it, and my heart flutters when i see Jack’s name, his picture lighting up the screen. i quickly press the answer button, holding the phone up to my ear.

“hey” i say.

“hey! you texted saying you have a question?” his voice is raspy, words coming out slow and slightly slurred, and i can hear Trevor, Alex, and Cole talking in the background. he’s smoking weed.

“uh, yeah. i had a question about the Algebra 2 homework, but i can just ask you tomorrow when you’re in a better state of mind.” i laugh.

“how’d you know?” i can hear his grin through the phone, and it makes me smile.

“call it best friend’s intuition. i’ll let you get back to the guys.” i tell him. we say our goodbyes and i hang up, taking another second to stare at my phone with a goofy smile before i turn back to my math homework.

**

during the school year, i listened to him talk about each girl he was seeing throughout the year. each of them pretty, skinny, and blonde. and eventually, i wondered if he would like me as more than his annoying best friend, if i looked like those girls. so i would stare in my mirror for hours some nights, pinpointing things i should change about myself. as like most teenage girls, i had always been insecure, wishing to change myself. but now i learned to use Jack as an excuse for it. and from there, things started developing.

i begged my mom for weeks to let me dye my hair, and when she finally caved, i went to the salon and went blonde. but my hair wasn’t the only thing that changed. my eating habits were altered. slowly at first, just cutting out certain foods, and then all at once. i started skipping meals, excusing myself from dinner by saying i had a large lunch, leaving the house quickly in order to avoid breakfast, and only eating at lunch when Jack expressed concern about my lack of food. like now.

“good afternoon, hockey knuckleheads. your favorite person has arrived.” i announce my arrival at the lunch table while dropping my book bag by my seat, interrupting the boys current conversation. they all look at me, quickly saying their hello’s.

“y/n, you’d give me an autograph, right?” Trevor asks, and my face pinches in confusion.

“uh, what?” i ask.

“like, if you knew you were gonna be famous one day. you’d give me an autograph right now, right?” he clarifies.

“ignore him.” Jack laughs, pushing Trevor’s face away from he and i. he turns back to look at me, eyeing the empty tabletop in front of me. his smile drops and he turns to his backpack, pulling out a protein bar. he throws it over on the table in front of me, it landing with a smack, making me flinch.

“eat.” he tells me. my eyes bounce between the snack and him, studying his serious expression.

“i’m fine, Jack. i ate a big breakfast this morning, so i’m not hungry. keep this for when you need it at practice.” i tell him, sliding the snack back towards him. but of course my stomach speaks volumes, deciding right then to grumble loudly. Jack raises an eyebrow at me and slides the bar back over to me. i sigh, opening it up and taking a bite. he smiles at the sight, and it makes my heart skip a beat.

“good girl.”

17 YEARS OLD

it’s the end of senior year now, and i’ve gotten no closer to dating Jack than i was before. i’ve spent countless nights alone in my room, writing songs about him and crying over snapchat stories of him with other girls.

it’s another friday night, and that means another party in hopes of Jack seeing me dressed up. this time, my own party. with my parents out of town for the weekend, i took the chance to throw a party, inviting what felt like my entire grade in a mass text.

i walk around the house, my blonde hair curled and in a half-up-half-down do. i’m decked out in a tight fit black mini dress with black ballet flats to match, and i did a full glam makeup look. i scan the living room for Jack, but when i finally find him, i immediately feel tears pricking at the back of my eyes.

he’s sat on the couch, a pretty blonde draped across his lap, whispering in his ear as he nods, his arm wrapped around her waist to keep her steady, and a grin on his face. our friends were sat around him, some having their own discussions, and some singing along to the music playing on the surround sound speakers.

i go to spin back around, fully planning on going upstairs to my room for a quick cry, but before i can fully turn, i lock eyes with Jack. he raises his hand in a wave and beckons me over and i offer a weak smile in return. i look around the party once more and feel something snap inside of me.

i feel so stupid. i’ve spent the last almost two years of my life changing myself to try and get his attention and to have him look at me in a new light. spent almost two years overanalyzing his every move and i let my final two years of high school slip by me. instead of living in the moment and enjoying my rapidly declining time with my friends, i was wondering if Jack had seen my snapchat story, or if he did then why didn’t he slide up? amongst various other things to do with him.

i was done revolving my entire life and every decision i make around a guy who obviously doesn’t like me the way i like him.

21 YEARS OLD

it’s been four years since i started living for myself. in that time, i went to a treatment center for my eating disorder, graduated college, moved to New Jersey for a new job, and made new friends. i haven’t talked to Jack in three of those years. not because i didn’t want to, but because after high school, our friendship fizzled out. he went on to play in the NHL, and i went to college. we both lived busy lives, and it became too much to handle. i still talk to the other guys, Trevor the most, but not nearly as much as i used to.

now i’m sat in a club. it’s a saturday night, and my friend Yaz wanted to go do her favorite hobby. seeing how many men she can get to buy her free drinks. currently, she’s chatting up a cute brunette with an accent out on the dance floor, and i’m sat by myself at the bar. drinking an almost gone shirley temple and wondering why i agreed to go out when i would much rather be snuggled on my couch with a blanket and a movie. i’m debating telling Yaz that i’m gonna leave, when a guy sidles up next to me, taking the seat on my right and throwing me a smile.

“hi, i’m Dawson.” he holds his hand out and i slip mine in it, shaking.

“hi, i’m y/n.” he nods before turning back to a table of guys.

“IT’S HER!” he yells over, and my brows furrow, face pinching in confusion. he turns back to me and smiles again. “sorry. my friend said he thought he knew you, but he didn’t wanna come over and then be wrong.”

it’s at that moment that a shadow encases us, and i glance over my shoulder to see the one person i wasn’t expecting.

“hey!” Jack takes a seat on Dawson’s abandoned chair. i didn’t even notice he had slipped away. “it’s been so long!”

i blink a few times, just taking in the man in front of me. he looks good. like, really good. i wasn’t naive enough to think that the love i held for him had been snuffed out, i’m just comfortable with myself enough now, that i know that changing myself for him won’t do anything except hurt me.

“hey.” i breathe out. “wow. uh, i wasn’t expecting to see you.”

“yeah, i wasn’t really expecting to see you either. what are you doing in New Jersey?” he asks. okay, it’s not like i’m stupid. i knew Jack lived in New Jersey. i just also know it’s a big state and the possibility of us running into each other was slim. but apparently the universe likes to laugh in my face.

“i live here.” i tell him. “i moved here a few months ago, for a job.”

“and you didn’t call me? i thought we were friends!” he jokes, and i stiffen at the word. friends. yeah, that’s all we’ve ever been. “can we go somewhere? to talk?”

i nod and he leads me out of the club. i send a quick text to Yaz that i went outside for a few minutes, and she responds with a thumbs up emoji. Jack and i stop outside the entrance. the club stopped letting people in about half an hour ago, so there’s no line, just us and a bouncer standing about fifteen feet away at the entrance.

“well, you look good! you went back to your natural hair color, i like it. it suits you better than the blonde.” Jack starts off, and his words strike a nerve in my heart. he didn’t like me blonde? i knew it didn’t change anything with how he felt about me, but i didn’t know he disliked it in general.

“you look healthier too. that makes me really happy, y/n. my mom told me a couple years ago that your mom said you got treatment for your…disorder. i’m really proud of you.” my heart breaks a little more at his soft tone, he seems genuine. “i saw you earlier, with your friend. you have the spark in your eye back. i’m really glad you seem happy again. i’m just sorry i didn’t do anything before, to help you with anything you were going through. i was a naive kid, i just thought you’d come to me if you were struggling. but looking back, i realize that i should’ve reached out to help you regardless.”

“Jack, you shouldn’t blame yourself. you were a kid. i was a kid too, i didn’t understand the full extent of what i was doing.” i tell him. tears prick at my eyes and i blink them away.

“can i ask you a question?” he asks.

“of course.” i nod.

“why did you do it? was there a reason? i mean, at the time, it felt like you completely just changed overnight. but maybe it was a gradual thing and i just didn’t realize it back then.” i lose hope in keeping my tears at bay, letting one roll freely down my cheek. “you don’t have to tell me. obviously. it’s your business. i just- i’ve been wondering.”

i take a deep breath, mentally preparing myself to explain.

“i was a naive kid, Jack. i liked a guy and i thought if i changed myself, maybe he would like me too. but it didn’t work, and instead i realized that i was just harming myself by not eating, doing things i hated, going to parties just to try and get his attention. looking back at it now, it was stupid. but back then, it seemed like the best idea i had ever had.”

“you did all that for a guy?” he asks. but his tone isn’t the usual one i get from people when i tell them about my past. it’s not incredulous, or judgmental, or even pitiful. he just sounds, sad. i just nod my head. “well, whoever he was, he wasn’t worth it. if a guy doesn’t like you for you, then he’s an idiot, and he doesn’t deserve you. i’m really glad you see that now. although, i wish you would’ve known it before.”

if only he knew.

“switching the topic.” i say, and he lets out a small breathy chuckle. “how have you been?”

“i’ve been good. just, trying not to get injured on ice, ya know?” i nod along.

“oh yeah, i remember. i still don’t understand why you would put yourself through that barbaric game.” i joke and he laughs. the sound causes butterflies to erupt in my stomach, and it almost feels no time has gone by at all. i still feel like a lovesick teenager.

before either of us can speak again, my drunk friend stumbles out of the club, an arm looped through Dawson’s.

“hey, i thought i’d bring this one back to you. she kinda seems like she might need to sober up some.” Dawson tells me, and i thank him. Yaz lays her head on my shoulder, and Dawson says his goodbye to me and Yaz before slipping back inside.

“who’s this?” Yaz stage whispers, studying Jack who still stands in front of me. Jack and i laugh at her drunken attempt at being quiet.

“this is Jack.” i tell her. “Jack this is my friend, Yaz.”

“Jack. Jack, Jack, Jack.” Yaz repeats, and it’s like i can see the gears turning in her head. “that name sounds so familiar. Jack.”

“hey, wait! isn’t that the name of that guy you told me about? the one you were madly in love with in high school?” she blurts out, and my eyes turn as wide as saucers. i can feel my face heating up. i turn to look at my friend, who apparently has absolutely no filter when she’s had too much to drink. before any of us can say another word, a blue car pulls up and Yaz’s sister, Cara, steps out. “Yay! my ride!”

Yaz stumbles over to her, only stopping to turn and blow me a kiss before letting her sister help her in the car. Cara throws me a smile and a goodnight before getting in herself and driving away. leaving only me and the guy Yaz just exposed my love for.

i turn back to Jack, finding him wide eyed and repeatedly blinking. i open my mouth, but nothing comes out. i’m not sure what to say. but apparently Jack does.

“it was me?” he asks, pointing to his chest. “i was the guy?”

i feel like i might be sick. i never meant for him to know. i thought i would take that secret to my grave. i manage a weak nod, not able to physically speak.

“why- i mean- why did you think you had to do those things to yourself, y/n? i- i’m just— i’m so confused.”

“you had a type.” i shrug. “you dated all these girls, in high school. and they all had the same things in common. blonde, skinny, pretty, outgoing. you liked all those girls romantically so i thought maybe if i was more like them, you would like me like that too.”

“but i did like you like that!” he exclaims. i furrow my brows and my nose scrunches in confusion.

“what?” i whisper.

“i did like you romantically! i just thought i never had a chance with you. so, i busied myself with other girls. why do you think none of them ever lasted long?” he asks.

“i don’t know, i never really thought about that.” my head swarms with all this new information.

“because, they weren’t you.” he pleads. “i tried to forget those feelings for you by dating other girls, girls that before i met you, were my type. but they weren’t you. none of them were you.”

he steps forward, taking my face in his hands.

“i can’t believe you thought you had to change for me. fuck, i’m so stupid. i should’ve just told you i liked you when i first realized my feelings.” he breathes out.

“you can tell me now if you want?” i offer meekly, my head spinning. i want to kiss him. i’ve waited almost six years for this moment, and dear god i want to kiss him. now quite possibly more than ever.

“i love you, y/n.” he whispers. “i’ve loved you since the summer we were sixteen and you tried to push me off the dock into the lake, and i pulled you in with me. i still remember when you popped back up in front of me in the water. my first thought was ‘she’s so beautiful.’”

i inhale a shaky breath before tilting my head up to cover his lips with mine. kissing him with desperation and need. need to not waste another second that i could spend being with him. Jack is frozen for a second before his lips start moving against mine. his hands trail down my body to grip my hips, pulling me towards him. we fit together like a puzzle piece. my own hands grip the hair at the nape of his neck. we pull away from each other, and i look into his eyes.

“i love you too.” i whisper. “if that wasn’t obvious yet.”

“yeah? i don’t know, i think you might need to show me again.” he smirks and leans back down capturing my lips in a kiss once more.

[trevorsgodmother]

𝑯𝓸𝓽𝓽𝓲𝓮 #1 (C.S ☁️)

☞ Masterlist

Warnings: Idrk bruh, cheating suggested..? (but there's none), bit of crying, swearing, reader being an idiot, yelling POV: First person (reader and Chris) Summary: You find a contact on Chris' phone...

(Chris' POV)

"CHRISTOPHER STURNIOLO"

My whole body violently jerks when I hear my full name being yelled from the other room. Wide eyes turn to Nick and Matt, who look at me surprised, and a bit scared. My girlfriend sounds mad. And I don't even know why.

My throat bobs as I swallow, nervous as hell. What had I done? "Um...yea?"

"GET YOUR ASS IN HERE RIGHT NOW"

I flinch. She never usually yells. Nick gives me a 'look' and a thumbs up for good luck, while Matt stifles a smile and looks away. I sigh and walk into my bedroom, where my girlfriend is waiting.

(Your POV)

I'd been searching through his contact list for a number he'd gotten a few weeks ago from a mutual friend. I'd wanted to call her to meet up. But that's all that I was doing. I didn't even open any other apps, I trusted him to not cheat, and I knew he never would.

Right?

As soon as I saw the contact, my face froze in shock. Under the 'H' contact list.

'Hottie #1 💞'

I'd never clicked on anything faster in my life. Scrolling down through the info, I looked for the number.

It wasn't mine.

Chris, my boyfriend, had someone else saved as hottie. Who was it? When did he meet her? Why hadn't he done a better job of hiding it? Though i'm glad he didn't.

And now i'm pissed.

I'm sitting on the bed, tapping my foot. One hand holds Chris' phone, the other fists the bedsheets.

The man himself comes in, lowkey looking terrified at how i'd called him.

"Hey babe-" "Shut up and come here. Now"

He looks scared. Good. Maybe he'll feel really bad for it. I promise myself to not get emotional.

I raise an eyebrow. "Well?"

He scratches the back of his neck, looking confused. "Well...what?" I sigh. "You think i'm stupid Chris?"

His eyes widen and he shakes his head so fast i'm worried he'll get whiplash. "No-" "Bullshit. I know what you did"

I prayed this wouldn't be the reaction. But when his face drops into guilt, my heart shatters. It couldn't be. "Ok..i'm sorry..."

Despite my self-confidence, tears fill my eyes. "How could you...I loved you Chris" (lowk cringed myself out)

He sighs. "I didn't mean to get her dirty I just...I'm sorry. Then I had to throw her away. She was covered in mud and shit. I couldn't get it out." His voice is sincere and sad.

I blink. "What?"

He looks up. "What?"

I'm a little confused as I hold up his phone. "I meant who's 'Hottie #1'?"

His expression morphs into... even more confusion? No recognition, no remorse, just curiosity.

And then a grin breaks out on his face.

And now he's laughing loudly, in that obnoxious, contagious way of his.

My brow furrows. "Chris, this isn't funn-" "Call the number."

His words catch me off guard. "Huh?" "Call the number babe. Trust me."

I hesitate. Why was he telling me to call it? His gaze is amused and challenging. Fuck it. I call the number.

I immediately hear ringing from outside, and Matt yelling out. "Dude why the fuck are you calling me?"

My eyes widen. Chris starts laughing again. It was his brother.

Hottie #1 was Matt (Rs tho).

My face flushes as Chris collapses in giggles. I throw his phone at him, a smile tugging at my lips. "Shut upp, you scared me. Your obsession with Matt is concerning by the way."

Chris just rolls around, chackling so hard he could choke, but then he suddenly stops and his face pales a little as I speak again.

"Wait, you got who dirty?"

A/N: Just smth a lil short and goofy 😝 ALL FLIRTING BETWEEN CHRIS AND MATT IS A JOKE, THEY ARE SIBLINGS (THE MATTY B FIC IS COMING PROMISE (i'm js making it extra good yk)) TL: @hearts4werka @stvrnzcherries @spaghetti835928383 @pvssychicken @snowysosturn @sllutty-sturniolo @sturnmeovr No stealing gang Dividers by @bernardsbendystraws <3 -Ropitipop 👁👅👁

[middlingmay]

So, what if in Canon era, Gale liked to hook Marge up with other guys?

So Gale is gay and Marge wants to marry him because she doesn't want kids or to keep house and all the other guys she knows expect that from a wife. So she makes a proposal to Gale and, figuring a life with Marge who knows and accepts he's gay would be pretty great, agrees.

Except Marge likes sex. She can't indulge too much back in Caspar because everyone thinks she's with Gale. So, when Gale leaves for the army and when Marge visits him, he scopes out potential partners for her.

He picks a couple of guys from the base. Real quiet, discrete fellas who wouldn't give them up. but he still kind of makes it out that he and Marge are together and it's something they do for both their enjoyment. Gale "likes hearing about if afterwards" is the implication, though he never says it outright.

Marge first eyes up John, because she has eyes, but one look at Gale's sad eyes as he traipses off to solicit him for her anyway has her running after him to stop him. The guys in the bar wolf whistle because they think Cleven’s girl is pulling him away for some fun.

So. John finds out by accident. He stumbles upon some poor guy enjoying some alone time and he says Marge's name. John interrogates him and after confirming he did indeed mean Gale's Marge, gets into a fight.

Gale is worried livid when he finds out John's been pulled up for fighting. John is still seething and when Gale forces him to tell him why, he doesn't expect Gale to clip the back of his head and call him an idiot.

"Who do you think introduced them, you ninny!"

And when Gale finally explains everything, John is even more incensed.

"But you set her up with Johnson? Poor girl deserves better than that! He couldn't find a clit with a flashlight!"

"Yeah she isn't too happy with me for that one."

So John takes over. Claims he'll be responsible for finding Marge a worthy sex partner until Gale learns his lesson. "Only the best for our Margie."

His choice surprises Gale.

"Crosby? Really?"

"Bigger picture, Buck." And John points to both Crosby and Bubbles. "That man got his wife to agree to him taking a lover, no problem. You telling me he can't fuck? Besides, Marge deserves a treat after that last disaster. Two for one, Buck!"

And after, the next time Marge sees him, she throws her arms around John in a very enthusiastic hello.

"You can quit looking for a while," she tells him. "Those two have a bit of mileage on them yet."

[cautotelic]

Chapter 5: Been Like This

Ambessa Medarda x Reader

Synopsis: When you get taken away from your home land and thrown into the palace of the infamous warlord, will things be as bad as they first seemed?

CW: SMUT (what we've all been waiting for), kinda fluff, Ambessa being downright downbad, yes the title is from that Doja Cat song 🤨

A/N: enough with the sadness, let the tension end. please leave more replies/comments I LOVE reading them and knowing y’all enjoy the story:))

The next few days go by painstakingly slow. I help the physicians with tending to the injured warriors. I’m back to avoiding Ambessa, still somewhat upset with her. Whenever I think about her I’m drawn between being so frustratingly angry at her and just wanting to thank the fact she’s, in her words, alive and well.

Whenever I get the chance during the day I’ll go into my room and try to get a bit of sleep before leaving for the night, knowing that Ambessa has been residing in my room. Maybe she’s hoping that I’ll come back at the same time she's there, but I doubt that.

Currently I’m outside of the estate collecting snow in a bucket to take inside for the physicians. Being in my own thoughts I don’t hear the crunching of snow beneath boots coming from behind me. 

“You should really wear a coat out here, little lady.”

I smile. “You want to give me a hand or are you just going to stand there and look pretty?”

The crunch of snow grows closer before Rictus’s big, burly form comes into view. He settles himself behind me and pulls something out of his cape, a blanket. 

I hold my hand up. He continues to unfold it. “The General would have my head if I let you get frostbite out here.”

“Why does she bother?” I mumble as I feel the weight of the blanket being placed around my shoulders. I will admit that I am thankful for the blanket.

Rictus hums as he takes the bucket out of my hands and begins shoveling in the snow with his own gloved hands. “She has a weird way of showing it, but she really does care about you. It’s the reason she brought you here,” he admits.

My brows furrowed in confusion but Rictus continued. “She and your father had a meeting negotiating trade deals and land disputes, the regular diplomatic conversations,” he says and I nod. “I remember you standing in the corner of your fathers office, just a tiny little thing, barely noticed you were there. But when we got back on the airship, you were all she could talk about.”

“She sent your father a letter asking if he would trade you for extra trading goods. He refused and she threatened him with war.” The bucket of snow is full so Rictus stands, I copy his movements as we start to make our way back to the estate. “Of course she knew of your power and wanted you to train her soldiers, but she also saw how miserable you looked, like a bird trapped in a cage. Her stronger feelings for you only transpired after you arrived.”

We step back into the estate and hand the bucket of snow to the physician standing there. I watch her leave before turning to Rictus. “Why are you telling me this?”

“So you understand why I have to do what I’m about to do next,” he utters, a hint of guilt showing in his expression.

“What-“

In an instant I’m scooped up and thrown over his shoulder as he begins walking down the hallway. A small gasp comes out as I am disoriented. “Rictus put me down. Where are you taking me?” I protest.

My struggling does nothing to sway him into putting me down. “The General hasn’t slept for a week because of you and personally, I don’t enjoy being yelled at,” he grunts as he readjusts me on my shoulder.

The realization hits me. He’s taking me to Ambessa. I start hitting his back. “Rictus, put me down now. I don’t want to see her,” I declare.

I protest the whole way until we walk into a room lined with bookshelves. He sets me down on my feet and I turn around to face Ambessa who is sitting at her desk. The surprise on her face tells me that all this was all by Rictus’s own doing. 

“General,” Rictus nods towards Ambessa before walking out of the room, leaving us together.

The tension in the room is so thick you could cut it with a knife. I stand awkwardly in the center of her study as I shift from foot to foot. Her study is just as warm and inviting as her bedroom. Throw blankets adorn the couch sat in front of the fireplace and soft rugs cover the floors.

I look up at Ambessa and she isn’t looking at me but I can tell she’s tired.

“I don’t know why he brought you here, I told him, and everyone else for that fact, not to bother you,” she states coldly as she writes something down in the ledger on the desk.

Just hearing her talk and being in her general vicinity has all my anger resurfacing. I let out a chuckle. “You’re a real piece of work, you know?” I accuse as I stalk towards her desk.

She stops writing, folds her arms, and leans back in her seat, an amused expression playing on her face. “Oh you're in no position to talk about being a piece of work, but please, do tell.”

I bite the inside of my cheek, growing irritated. “You are so incredibly maddening. I cannot fathom how anyone gets anything done around here with you.” When I get close enough I trail my hand along the edge of her desk. “For the past month I spent the whole time believing you were dead, hoping you weren’t so I could do it myself. But now…” I sigh as I look at her, looking for answers to the ache I feel deep in my bones. “I can’t even find the strength to stay mad at you.”

Our eyes lock and I wonder if there is just as much emotion in my eyes as there are in hers. I draw closer to her slowly, unsure and uncertain. Reaching out I touch her cheek with the backs of my fingers softly. 

She leans into the small touch before grabbing my hand and pressing kisses to my palm. “Forgive me… please.”

My body leans towards her hesitantly, eyes darting between her lips and her eyes. I gently press my lips to hers, my own silent apology and many words unspoken. I feel her smile into the kiss as she lets me lead. My own repressed desires surface as I move to press myself closer to her. Ambessa stands from her desk chair, breaking our kiss as her hands come under my thighs and lift me onto the cool wood of her desk. My hands move on their own accord touching any part of her that I can. She chuckles at my eagerness before lifting her shirt off, her bindings going with it. I stare at her for a good second admiring her as her hands go to the bottom hem of my shirt. She looks at me, waiting for me to push her away, to close myself off again.

I don’t.

I mutter a soft ‘yes’ and she takes my shirt off. Unlike our kiss in the library, her fingers find my skin, going over the scars on my chest and torso. Under her observant gaze I feel self conscious and I curl in on myself.

Ambessa notices this and makes a noice of displeasure. Her head dips back down and her lips brush against the shell on my ear, sending an involuntary shiver down my spine. “Do you know how turned on you make me, sweetheart? Hm.” She hums as she nuzzles her nose into the crook of my neck. I shake my head and she groans. “Too much. I get all hot and bothered when you're fully dressed, so don’t worry about this,” she says, her hands trailing up my sides. “You're perfect.”

Her lips find mine again as she lifts me off the desk and walks us over to the big couch in her study. Laying me down on the couch she makes quick work of my pants as well as her own. She leans down and sucks on the skin of my neck, leaving dark marks that will stay. Her hand travels down, down until it touches my waiting core. She teases, circling her fingers around my clit. I let out a frustrated whine and she chuckles.

“So impatient,” she hums, kissing my ear.

She’s merciful and slowly enters her fingers. Her pace starts out slow and deliberate, sinking them in before, dragging them almost all the way out, before doing it over again. I sigh, pleased that she’s finally touching me but wanting her to speed up. 

My hands come around to her back, grabbing as much of her as I can before pushing her into me. I turn my head to it’s right by her ear. “I know you love me, but I want you to fuck me like you hate me,” I nearly demand.

She chuckles into my skin. “I would be careful what you ask for, little one,” she purrs as she bites down onto the space between my neck and shoulder. She speeds up the thrusts of her hand as she curls her fingers up and brushes that spot inside me. I gasp. She mimics my face and sound. “There,” she says breathily. “Is that what you wanted? Hm. To be treated like this, like a toy for me to use?”

I let out a strangled moan into her ear. My noises only egg her on as she fucks me. My nails dig into her back. 

“So fucking wet, your basically swallowing my fingers. You dirty, dirty girl,” she says as she leans away from me looking down at my sopping cunt. 

She uses the thumb of the same hand to gently circle my clit, light and slow motions. She watches her own fingers disappear inside me, she damn near moans at the sight. I quickly shut my legs closed at the sensation, feeling overwhelmed. She roughly pushes them back open as I feel her go deeper.

“Fuck…” I sigh. It’s all too much, her, my body. I reach my hand down to grab at her wrist. For what exactly, I’m not sure, but the coil in my stomach is winding tighter and tighter, I feel like I might burst.

Ambessa looks down at me with a dark expression on her face as she grabs both my wrists in her free hand and holds them against my stomach, leaving me helpless as she tortures my body.

“Mm that’s much better, don’t you think, little one?” She chuckles as she bullies her fingers into me at an unforgiving pace.

The sounds leaving my mouth are absolutely, downright shameful. But I can’t find it in me to care right now. Moans and whines leave my lips but Ambessa swallows them in a kiss. 

“Please please ple-ah,” I jolt as she hits that spot. She takes notice and focuses on repeatedly hitting that spot as her circles on my clit fasten.

The coil begins to fray, the pressure too much. “A-ambessa stop I-“ I’m cut off by my own moan.

She looks down at me and hums. “Are you close? Going to make a mess for me, pretty girl?” She coos.

I struggle against her hold trying to get away from her and the feeling in my stomach as my breathing grows ragged. I cry out as my orgasm washes over me, my back arched, Ambessa smiles as she fucks me through it.

When it’s finished I close my eyes and regain my breathing. I stay like that for a while, my hands coming to cover my face.

Before I can even open my eyes again I’m being flipped onto my stomach, my chest being pushed into the couch, ass up. I yelp as I crane my head to look behind me. Ambessa leans over my body so that her head is right beside mine, her bigger frame covering mine. I feel something prod at my backside. I go to look and she turns my head to look at her. She trails kisses along my shoulder blade.

“That first one was for your pleasure,” she says, almost proudly. “These ones are for mine.” 

“What are you- oh my god,” I moan as I feel her strap enter me. When the fuck did she put that on?

My mouth forms an ‘O’ as she sinks deeper into me, inch by inch. I dig my fingers into the couch to keep me grounded. Ambessa leans over and kisses my cheek, laughing softly. 

“I won’t be as kind.”

“Sadist much?” I spit out, my voice coming off weaker than I expected.

A loud smack sounds through the room and I jolt forward, gasping at the sting. Ambessa’s hand rubs over the spot. “I do hate disobedience, and you're far overdue for a lesson,” she leans down to my ear. “Let’s fix that, shall we?”

Her weight lifts off me. “If it’s too much, let me know.” As soon as I nod her hips snap forward. A short scream leaves my throat at the action. 

Her pace is so deliberately slow it makes me want to cry. I groan into the couch. I move my hips in sync with her, fucking myself back on her. Her hand comes and grip my hips, halting my movements and I whine.

“You want me to go faster?” She asks, and I nod desperately. “Well who am I to deny you that?” There’s a hint of something in her voice but I couldn’t care less as she does indeed pick up the pace.

I’m a moaning mess as she does. I’m muttering curses and small ‘thank you’s under my breath as I approach my climax faster this time. 

This time when I finish, Ambessa doesn’t stop. I whimper, overstimulated. “T-too much- Ambessa.”

She chuckles behind me as she grunts, speeding up her pace. “This is your lesson for being so damn mouthy. I told you that this wasn’t for your pleasure, it’s for mine. So fucking take it or do you want me to stop?” She slows to a complete stop before pulling out. She waits a solid few minutes waiting for my growing orgasm to subside.

I cry out at the loss of stimulation. “You're such an asshole,” I seethe.

She shrugs before pressing back into me at a brutal pace. “So damn stubborn,” she says.

Ambessa has me a moaning mess in less than a few minutes. She kisses down my back, over my scars. “So fucking pretty. You like this huh? You like me being mean to you.” All I can do is nod and mumble incoherently at her words.

“What happened to that attitude that you had earlier? Am I fucking you too good for you to act out now?” She teases. 

Although she is acting unaffected, her small moans and sighs are telling me she is getting off from this, from me.

I’m getting closer to my 3rd orgasm and her thrusts are growing erratic and inconsistent. “Fuck…” she groans from behind me and I can tell she’s close too. She speeds up and a guttural moan leaves my lips as my body shakes.

She keeps thrusting her hips forward, chasing her own release. I tap her hand on my hip. “Stop Ambessa.”

She quickly pulls out of me and flips me around, concern written on her face. Her hand comes to cradle my cheek. “What’s the matter? Did I-“

I flip her over so she’s on her back before climbing on top of her, sinking down onto her strap. I moan at the feeling, feeling it go deeper than in the other position. Ambessa looks up at me from her spot below me. “Darling you don’t have to-“

“Shut up,” I sigh as I begin to move. She moans at the sight and the friction on her own cunt. I bounce up and down on her strap, moans leaving my lips as I look down at Ambessa watching her face contorted in pleasure. 

I fold over and suck marks into her neck as soft sighs and moans leave her lips. Her body is growing restless and I know she’s close. 

She leans into me, worry etched into her brows. “You need to finish first. I can’t-“

“You can and you will. You better fucking finish, Ambessa I swear to god,” I chuckle as a breathy moan leaves my lips. 

I pick up my pace, my breast moving in time with my bounces. I reach down and roll her nipple between my fingers earning a small sigh from her. 

Her face should be casted in a painting for my eyes only. Her eyes watch the strap as it goes in and out of me. Her moans growing more and more desperate.

“Are you going to come for me, General? Gonna get off to me using you to pleasure myself?”

At my words her arms reach up to me as she pulls me to her chest. She props her feet up, heels digging into the couch as she thrusts up into me. 

“Oh my god- fuck fuck fuck.” I say into her skin. She’s shuddering at this point. “I’m gonna come- fuck.”

My orgasm wracks through my body, our combined moans filling the room. My body goes limp and we stay like this, me on top of her, as we both catch our breath. I raise my head and peck a kiss on her lips.

She moves under me, sliding her strap out of me, I hiss. She chuckles as she lifts me and sets me down to stand. I wobble a little on my feet but her arm is there to steady me. She wraps one of the blankets on the couch around me before wrapping one around herself and then scooping me up.

We walk out of her study and into the hallway and I’m met with Rictus standing on the other end of the dead end hallway. My face reddens as we approach where he is standing against the wall. 

“Why is he down here, Ambessa?” I ask, embarrassed.

She shrugs. “Making sure no one bothered us,” she says nonchalantly.

Someone needs to give him a pay raise. 

We pass by him and he gives a curt nod to Ambessa before looking down at me wrapped in the blanket. 

“Good talk?” He questions with a mischievous, barely there smile.

“Good talk,” I affirm as Ambessa keeps walking.

She takes me to her room and we shower to wash the sex off of our bodies. I dote on her, washing her hair and body even though she insists she can do it herself. She dresses me in her clothes before laying us down in her bed. I lay my head in the crook of her neck, breathing in her scent. Her hand lazily runs up and down my back, I no longer flinch at her touch as it lulls me to sleep.

For the first time in years I get a full night's sleep.

[cartoonhorses]

Remission

Jimmy Zare x female! Reader

warnings/triggers : Slight breast play, heated make out session, takes place on Earth, slightly ooc Jimmy

word count : 2.6k +

author’s note : I feel like this is a little rushed and I’m sorry! I tried my best to go back and correct my grammar mistakes, if I missed anything please let me know.

MDNI

The air outside was crisp, heavy with the scent of freshly cut grass and the faint warmth of the mid-morning sun. You adjusted your bag on your shoulder, clutching the card your family members had sent to you through the mail in your hand. Your heart raced, not from nerves, but from excitement. Today was special, it was your birthday! And of all the places you could have been, all the people you could have spent it with, you wanted to spend it with Jimmy.

Jimmy—the guy you’d been seeing for a few months now. What started as casual hookups shifted one night when he invited you out to a rundown diner and, over greasy fries and flat soda, asked you to be his girlfriend. Of course, you said yes. How could you possibly turn him down after such a romantic gesture. The memory of it never failed to make you giggle.

The walk to his house wasn’t too long due to the fact he only lived a few blocks away. As you reached Jimmy’s door, your mind flickered to all the times he surprised you before—small gestures that left you breathless. He wasn’t one for grand displays, but he had his ways. Like when he gave you fake, cheap flowers from the dollar store in a nice, decorative vase that he likely got from an old ladies’ garage sale.

Finally, you reached his house. You stood on his porch and brought your hand to the dark, wooden door. You didn’t even have to knock. The door cracked open and the positive energy you felt all morning suddenly shifted.

Jimmy stood there, leaning lazily against the frame, his expression neutral, almost bored. He wore a white, tattered wife beater that clung to his slim but muscular torso. “Hey,” he said flatly, stepping aside to let you in.

Your chest tightened slightly, but you pushed it aside. Maybe he was tired! Yeah that had to be it. You stepped in, the card still clutched in your hand, and gave him a soft smile. “Hi,” you said, leaning forward to kiss his cheek. He gave you a tiny smirk once you pulled away, though his mind almost seemed to be somewhere else entirely since it quickly faltered.

The living room looked exactly as it did the last time you were there—cluttered but not messy. The faint smell of pine from the candle you had gifted him weeks ago lingered in the air. He plopped on the couch, leaving room for you to sit but picking up his phone like you weren’t even there.

You sat beside him, the card in your lap. You didn’t say a word and minutes began to tic by, each one louder than the last. You watched him scroll on his phone, his thumb lazily flicking up, eyes glued to the screen. You were somewhat thankful for the TV being on, otherwise this situation would be extremely awkward.

“Did you eat yet?” You asked finally, desperate to fill the silence between you two.

“Not really,” he mumbled without looking up.

Another pause. Longer this time. Your mind raced, trying to rationalize his behavior. Maybe he was planning something and wanted to throw you off. Maybe he was nervous about making today perfect. You told yourself a hundred maybes. Each one more desperate than the last. But the knot in your stomach tightened either every second that passed.

You couldn’t take it anymore, had your boyfriend not realized what day it was? “Jimmy?” You said softly, your voice teetering on the edge of hope and hurt.

“Yeah?” He replied, glancing up briefly before his eyes fell back to his phone’s screen.

You swallowed, your throat dry. “Do you know what today is?” You asked with a bit of hopefulness in your voice.

He frowned slightly, as though trying to piece together a complicated puzzle. “Uh… Saturday?” He offered after a beat, his tone light, almost amused.

Your heart sank, the weight of his indifference crashing down on you. “It’s my birthday,” you said, the words heavy and raw.

You thought for a moment that maybe he would feel bad, that he would apologize and beg you to let him make it up to you. But that wasn’t Jimmy. In fact, his face didn’t change much at all. He blinked once, twice, then shrugged. “Oh, I guess I forgot. Sorry.”

That was it. Two words—I forgot. Not an apology laced with guilt or the frantic rush of someone who realized their mistake. Just a shrug, like it didn’t matter, like you didn’t matter.

Your chest tightened, anger bubbling beneath the surface, but it wasn’t just anger. It was disappointment, heartbreak, the crushing realization that you had built this day up in your head while he hadn’t even thought of it at all.

“Jimmy,” you said, your voice trembling. “You forgot my birthday?”

He finally set his phone down on a nearby table, his dark brown eyes meeting yours. For a moment, you thought you saw something there—guilt, regret— but it was fleeting, gone before you could grasp it. “I’m sorry,” he said again, but it felt hollow, an afterthought. “I’ve just had a lot on my mind recently.”

You knew that was a lie as soon as Jimmy said it. Hell, Jimmy hardly had a life. He barely worked, barely kept up with friends, and he didn’t have any contact with his family. You wondered what could possibly be on his mind.

“A lot on your mind?” You echoed, your voice beginning to rise. “You’ve had a lot on your mind but couldn’t spare a second to remember the one day that’s supposed to mean something?”

He sighed, running a hand through his dark, messy hair. “I didn’t mean to forget, alright? It’s not that big of a deal. You’re here now, so what does it matter?”

The words hit you like a slap. What does it matter? You stared at him, the man you thought you knew, the man you had spent so many nights defending to your friends and family who warned you about him. The man who you had given your time, your heart, and your trust to.

You stood, card still in your hands. For a moment, you considered leaving it, letting it sit there on his table as a testament to what this day could have been. But then you looked at him—his indifferent posture, the way he was already reaching for his phone again—and you knew he didn’t deserve anything related to you.

Without another word, you turned and walked out the door, the sound of it clicking shut behind you was the only thing that broke the silence.

Jimmy sat there for a moment after the door clicked shut, the silence of the room suddenly weighing on him. His thumb hovered over his phone screen, but he didn’t scroll. Instead, he stared at the door you had just left out of, your absence settling into the space like a storm cloud.

She’s mad, he thought, running a hand through his hair. Of course, you were mad. He hadn’t even tried to remember your birthday. But it wasn’t like he meant to forget! Life had been stressful—work, drama, his own constant overthinking. Yet, none of that felt like a valid excuse now.

Jimmy leaned back on his old, poorly made, leather couch, letting out a frustrated sigh. He wasn’t the kind of guy who was good with emotions—his own or anyone else’s. But he wasn’t stupid. He knew what he had with you was good, better than anything he’d had before. You, somehow, always found a way to laugh at his dry, sarcastic humor. And the thought of losing you over something so stupid gnawed at him.

After what felt like an eternity, he stood up, grabbing his keys off the coffee table. He didn’t even know where’d you gone—back home, maybe—but he wasn’t about to just sit there and let you leave thinking he didn’t care.

The knock at your door startled you. You had barely set the card and your bag down on your coffee table, the frustration still bubbling under your skin when you heard it. You knew who it was. Part of you didn’t want to answer. You wanted him to stew in his own indifference. But curiosity got the better of you.

When you opened the door, there he was. His dark brown eyes were softer now, the usual edge in his expression dulled by something you couldn’t quite place. He shifted awkwardly on his feet, his hands shoved into the pockets of a black hoodie, something he wasn’t wearing when you saw him previously.

“Hey,” he said quietly, his voice lacking the usual sharpness.

You crossed your arms, leaning against the doorframe. “What do you want, Jimmy?”

He glanced down, as if searching for the right words on the concrete beneath his feet. “Look, I…” he paused for a moment, looking annoyed before taking a deep breath. “I messed up.” He admitted, his voice gruff but sincere. “I shouldn’t have forgotten your birthday. That was shitty of me.”

You raised an eyebrow, skeptical. “Yeah, it was.”

He looked at you, his brown eyes finally locking onto yours. “But I care about you. A lot. I know I don’t always show it the way I should, and I’m not great at this stuff, but…” he trailed off, glancing away for a moment before looking back at you and exhaling sharply. “I don’t want to lose you. You’re the best thing I’ve got, and I don’t wanna screw that up.”

The anger you felt in your chest softened, replaced by a flicker of something warmer. But, you didn’t want to let him off the hook entirely. He needed to learn, but hearing him admit it, seeing the vulnerability in his usually guarded expression, made it harder to hold onto your frustration.

You stepped aside, letting him in. He hesitated for a moment before walking in, the tension between you palpable.

Jimmy turned to face you, his hands now out of his pockets, fidgeting slightly. “I don’t really know how to fix this,” he admitted. “I didn’t plan a grand apology or anything.”

“Clearly,” you said, your tone light but pointed.

He gave a faint, sheepish smirk. “Yeah, well… I guess I’m trying to be honest. I care about you, and I know I don’t always show it the right way, but I want to do better.”

For a moment, neither of you said anything. The weight of his words lingered in the air, and you could see the effort it took for him to say them.

Finally, you stepped closer, your arms dropping to your sides. “Jimmy,” you said softly, “I just wanna feel like I matter to you, that’s all.”

“You do,” he said immediately, his voice firm. “You matter the most to me. I just… I suck at showing it sometimes.”

“I know,” you said with a soft smile on your face. As soon as those words left your lips he closed the gap between you, his hands hesitating for a split second before settling on your waist. His touch was firm, but it was also warm and grounding. The earlier tension you felt quickly melted away.

After a moment, he pulled away, panting. “I’m sorry,” he murmured again, his voice low.

You looked up at him, your breath hitching slightly. “Don’t just say it. Show me.”

He didn’t need to be told twice. His lips were on yours in an instant, the kiss slow at first but quickly deepening as the frustration between you melted into something else entirely. His scruff grazed your skin, a familiar roughness that made your heart race.

His hands slid up your back, pulling you closer as if he was trying to erase the space that had come between you earlier. You tangled your fingers in his dark hair, tugging slightly, and he groaned against your lips, the sound sending a shiver down your spine.

His lips trailed from yours, skimming down your jawline, his scruff grazing your skin and leaving a delicious heat in its wake. When he reached the sensitive spot on your neck, nipping gently you let out a soft gasp. Your hands clutched at his hoodie like it was the only thing keeping you grounded.

“God… ‘m such an idiot…” he mumbled against your skin, voice low and rough. “I almost let you walk away… I can’t do that again.”

You tilted your head, giving him more access to leave potential marks. Your breath hitched as his hands slid up your sides, brushing beneath the hem of your shirt. His fingers splayed against your skin, warm and possessive, as though he was staking his claim. You tugged at his hoodie, needing to feel him, to close the gap between you two in every possible way.

“Then don’t,” you whispered, placing a hand on his cheek to guide his lips back to yours.

His hands moved up to cup your face, his thumbs brushing over your cheekbones before pulling back again, studying your face while his chest rose and fell heavily. “You mean so much to me,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t say it enough, but you do. And I’m gonna make this up to you.”

As soon as he finished his sentence, his lips were on yours again, more insistent this time. His kiss was all-consuming, his tongue parted your lips as he deepened it, tasting you like he couldn’t get enough. His hands finally dared to move further underneath your shirt, one holding your hip firmly and the other grasping lightly at one of your breasts’.

Suddenly, your back hit the wall. The pressure stealing your breath for a moment. Jimmy’s body pressed into yours, the solid weight of him overwhelming in the best way. His kisses grew hotter, more desperate, as if he was trying to pour every once of his regret and affection into you.

The hand on your breast began to slowly message the plumpness of it, his rough fingers an insane contrast to your soft skin. It only made it feel all the better.

Your hands slid beneath his hoodie, fingertips brushing against the hard planes of his chest. He shuddered at your touch, a low groan escaping his throat that sent a thrill straight through you. You pushed the hoodie up, breaking the kiss long enough to yank it over this head, his dark hair falling messily back into place. You repeated the same action with the white wife beater he layered underneath.

The sight of him—his lean torso, the subtle definition of his muscles, the way his chest heaved as he looked at you like you were the only thing in the world that mattered—made your knees weak. You reached for him, and there he was again, his lips capturing yours as his hands slipped beneath your shirt, tugging it up and over your head in one swift motion.

“Damn,” he murmured, lips now against your neck as his hands skimmed over your newly exposed skin. “You’re… perfect.”

Your name fell from his lips like a prayer as he kissed you again, his movements growing more frantic, more heated. His lips moved down your chest, his teeth grazing your nipple, and you gasped, your fingers digging into his shoulders.

Every touch, every kiss, every whispered word felt like an apology, a promise, and a confession all at once. The air between you was charged as you lost yourself in him, the world outside fading until there was nothing but Jimmy—his warmth, his touch, his love, raw and unfiltered.

And in that moment, with his lips on yours and his hands exploring every inch of you, you knew that despite his flaws, despite everything, this is where you belonged.

[apomaro-mellow]

The Road to You 1/? Read on AO3

Another one from the steddie fic adoption community!

A lot of things happen after beating the Upside Down for good. Somehow the most surprising part of it all for Steve is becoming Eddie's roadie.

“They’re singing about infidelity, Stevennnn.”

“Play the tape again and actually listen to it. They’re singing about how they’re not gonna cheat.”

Eddie was laid up in a hospital bed. The stereo was seated on the table next him and Steve in the chair next to the bed. Robin was in a chair at the far end, her feet propped up onto the edge of the bed. All three of them were eating jello.

“They said they’d marry this chick if they were free. What d’you make of that?”

“IF they were free. IF”, Steve said, finger wagging to make his point. “They wanna marry Girl #1 but they’re gonna stay loyal to Girl #2, their wife.”

“See, it’s the fact you think this hussy they’re singing to is Girl #1. Why isn’t Girl #1 the wife? Pretty reductive if you ask me, wouldn’t you agree, Bucks?”

Robin snorted. “You just called one of them a hussy, so I’d find that pretty reductive. If we really wanna get into it, let’s talk about the women in this song. One’s living in a loveless marriage and the other’s got this guy pining after her, basically telling her, he’d leave his wife for her.”

“It’s Bay City Rollers, you guys. It’s not supposed to be a sad song”, Steve said.

“Copacabana is an upbeat song and it’s the saddest story I’ve ever heard”, Robin said while Eddie nodded in agreement.

Steve threw his hands up and his eyes went to the sky. “What’s sad about Copacabana? You literally can’t sing it without dancing.”

“Steeeve Harrington dancing to Barry Manilow? This I gotta see”, Eddie said, searching through the tapes that were sitting by his legs. 

“Don’t have the tape, but apparently Steve knows all the words”, Robin grinned.

“Don’t challenge me with a good time Robin”, Steve said. “It’s about a club in Havana.”

“It’s about what happens IN that club. Go ahead”, Robin urged. “Start from the part about Rico.”

Steve hummed the tune, starting from the first chorus. “~His name was Rico~He wore a diamond~” He mumbled through more of it, shimmying a little in his chair as he went through the song. “Hm~hm~called her over~But Rico went a bit to far~Tony sailed across the bar…holy shit.”

“You get it yet?”, Eddie grinned.

“Tony got shot!”

“That’s not something you’d like to hear in a hospital”, Dr. Hudson said. She came to the empty side of Eddie’s bed.

Eddie might’ve thought twice about letting himself be bat bait if he knew how much recovery he’d need. He’d still do it, but he’d at least give it a second thought. Doing so meant two weeks in a coma, extensive surgery and another two weeks basically strapped to a bed after that. And of course, in all that time, he was banned from eating all the things that made him happy. All his nutrients were from a tube. Today was the first time they let him eat anything solid in a whole month.

Steve and Robin got out of the way for his check up. They weren’t expecting much of a change. Eddie was healing, but it would be slow. Steve still had to change his bandages. He could go longer without a change than he needed weeks ago, but still, his sides were fragile. Every time he visited Eddie, he was shown how much worse it could have been had he and the others not arrived in time to save him.

Life had gone back to a weird sort of normal for Hawkins after beating Vecna. An earthquake explained away everything but people still left and there were plenty who still stayed in shelters, having been displaced from their homes. School held out for the rest of April, but it was decided that since the senior graduation was set for May, they may as well let out the schools then, just to have more space for the people living in the gym of Hawkins High. Doing this would also open up the middle school for shelter space too.

No one had brought up graduation around Eddie. Steve and Robin talked about it a lot, mostly to help her work through what she was going to do after. She’d been accepted to three colleges. But fall seemed so far away and she couldn’t imagine leaving Hawkins right now. Especially when Steve himself didn’t seem to have any plans.

Family Video had been miraculously spared from the damage. They’d quit in unison anyway. It all just seemed so trivial in the aftermath. Robin had asked what Steve was going to do once she went off to college. He’d given her a joke of an answer but she knew how to read between the lines. She knew he had no plans beyond what he did each day. And that worried her. Made her feel like if she left, he’d fall apart.

Sometimes it felt like the two of them against the world. If that was true, maybe he wouldn’t be opposed to following her to college? The idea seemed novel, almost romantic, and it would definitely give people the wrong idea but she didn’t care.

----------------------

After dropping Robin off, Steve got to his house. He could hear his mother’s heels clicking on the wooden floors and her berating someone before he even opened the door. He sighed before opening it just in time to see her slam the phone back onto the hook.

“Unbelievable!”, she said to herself, hands on her hips before she realized Steve was home. Then she turned the conversation towards him. “Well we can’t sell the house. The market is in shambles.”

“The inspector said our house is fine though, right?”, Steve asked.

“No one will buy a house in a town of murders! That Munson boy has ruined what little dignity Hawkins had.” She shook her head. “We’ve always been too good for this town and now we can’t leave.”

“What about the cabin?”

“Steven, that’s a vacation home. It’s not meant to be a permanent residence.” She sighed just as Steve’s father came downstairs, loosening his tie.

“Sounds like bad news from the realtor.”

“I’m not taking that price. I’ll burn this house down with all of us in it before I take that insult!”, his mother shouted, walking off and into the living room. His dad followed, already starting to soothe her.

Steve headed straight to the kitchen. Jello could only satisfy one so much. He could hear his parents talking, but not make out the words. He stopped mentioning how lucky they were to still have their house, to be alive, and that Eddie wasn’t responsible for any of this. His parents didn’t care about any of that. He made two quick sandwiches, grabbed a bag of chips and a soda and disappeared into his room, lest his father ask about his job prospects again.

Standing behind a counter again didn’t sound appealing. And he knew his dad was getting to the point where he might just give him a job, but standing behind a desk wasn’t what he wanted either. Steve didn’t know what he wanted. He knew what he liked. He knew what made him happy. Somehow, talking to Eddie almost everyday became one of those things. But no one was paying him to talk to his friends.

But for now, spring would be turning into summer soon. Steve could focus on that, Eddie’s recovery, Robin’s college prep, and helping turn the freshies into sophomores. The Upside Down was gone, all the monsters were dead and all his friends were alive. Life couldn’t throw anymore curveballs his way. Right?

Part 2 coming soon

[justafanofwhatever]

Jayvik ship<3

As an openly Jayvik shipper, I must admit I like creating stories in my head about them (and all my ships in any stories, truly). So I thought, might as well share!

Context: This is basically imagining if Jayce and Viktor got in a relationship at some point during the time skip between episode 3 and 4.

I'm pretty sure Viktor never had a lot of affection in his life, while on the other hand Jayce seems like an absolute teddy bear, especially if he's in a relationship.

So here's a little collection of moments I imagined of Jayce being sweet/worried, with a confused/flustered Viktor in response of it, because he's not used to it. (Honestly he probably would never get used to it, but at some point he'd most likely have less reaction, so I imagine this being more at the start of their relation)

(mostly all cute moments, a bit of arguing in the second stories, nothing too big though)

Flowers

Jayce always liked to give flowers to people he fell in love with, man or woman. It's classic, but it's always sweet, plus it brightens the space. So one day, as he passed by a flower shop on his way to work he couldn't help but think he should buy a small bouquet, or at least a rose for his dear Viktor, that they could put in their way too empty lab.

So he walked inside the lab, passing by Sky, who gave a sad smile. She had a crush on Viktor for a good time, but she knew he was with Jayce, but at least she was happy that he could be happy in love, even if not with her. Jayce passed the door and entered, walking to Viktor who was as focused as always on his work. So much that he didn't even realized Jayce walked in. Jayce gently placed his hand on Viktor shoulders to get his attention. As the other man turned around and looked at him, he presented him the flowers.

Jayce, handing Viktor the flowers - "There, for you V."

Viktor - "You got me flowers?" He said, a bit surprised. Obviously he knew giving flowers was a common way of saying "I love you" without words, but he still didn't really expect it, even less on a random day like this. If it had been his birthday or Valentine day he would've got it, but today? No, today was no special day.

Viktor - "Why? It's not Valentine day... Right?"

Jayce, chuckling - "No, no it's not. I just thought it'd be nice. You could place them somewhere in the lab" He suggested, before leaning down and pressing a small tender kiss to Viktor's cheek. The only answer he got was a small smile from Viktor, but he was more than satisfied by it.

Working late

(slight arguing)

Viktor always had this upsetting habit to come back home at crazy hours after work, or sometimes he doesn't even come back at all! This always worried Jayce, how much Viktor neglected the importance of sleeping. Today was no exception either, it was already passed midnight and he was still sat down at his desk, face in his book, where he was taking some notes. That is until he heard the sound of the door open, which was unusual, usually only Jayce and Sky would come here, sometime Heimerdinger, but never without a good reason and certainly not at this hour. He turns around to see Jayce walking in, to his surprise.

Viktor - "Jayce? What are you doing here at this hour?"

Jayce - "Viktor, I can't believe I'm about to do this, but I'll drag you home by force if I have to"

Viktor - "Slow down here, what's the matter?"

Jayce - "The matter? You never take care of yourself, that's the matter! You spend your nights here!"

Viktor - "And? I'm working on hextech"

Jayce - "Yeah, I know that. I know how important these discoveries are for you, but you should still care a bit more about your health!"

Viktor - "My health is as fine as it can b-"

Jayce - "Bullshit, and you know it! You have to come back home" He said, grabbing Viktor by the arm, his touch firm but not so tight. Viktor pulled away and frowned, with an irritated look on his face. As he was about to speak back, he saw Jayce placing himself down on his knees in front of him and resting his head on his laps, which certainly shut him up.

Jayce - "Look... I don't want us to argue about this... I just worry about you, and I want you to come back home with me after work. I... I miss having you at home with me" He paused, taking Viktor's hand in his own. "You're hurting yourself by doing this, you're exhausting yourself, and if I have to carry you home on my shoulders I-" But he was cut off by the hand of his lover gently caressing his cheek and answering.

Viktor - "Well, you might have to, more often than not... But I guess I could indeed take a break right now..." And at that Jayce smiled like a kid who just got given a bunch of candies.

Jayce - "Will you really?" As to which Viktor answer by a slight shrug and a smile. So Jayce finally got to convince his lover of getting a bit more sleep... For today at least, he knew deep down that this would be a never ending battle between the two of them.

Cuddles, kisses, soft touches and tender words

Jayce was affectionate in every way, but even more so physically. He loved to just come up to Viktor and snuggle in his arms, to wrap his arm around Viktor's waist as they were standing next to each other or to just lay his head on his lap, his chest, his shoulder, wherever he deemed would be comfortable truly. Viktor wasn't so surprised by it anymore, but one thing he'd never get used to were the small kisses left here and there.

He was just casually laying down shirtless on his and Jayce's bed, thinking about a multitude of things all at once, as usual. That is, until Jayce walked in and decided to lay down on the bed next to him, wrapping his arms around his waist and resting his head on his stomach. At first Viktor just moved a hand down and gently played with Jayce's hair, before he started feeling him leaving a few soft kisses on his skin.

Jayce - "Love you, V.."

Viktor wrapped both his arms around Jayce's strong frame and hold onto him tightly, slightly flustered by the kisses but enjoying them nonetheless.

The end!

Ps: Sorry if some sentences are weird or something, English ain't my first language.

[trustmypoison]

SVT when you get a new piercing

Requested? Yes!

Request: ‘Hear me out, what if y/n pierced their nipples? How would seventeen react? And how would he notice? You told him or like he felt it or when he slid his hand or lifted it up. Please mention how the revelation happens and then reaction 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼 ‘

TW/CW: Some of these are suggestive, bordering on a little bit of smut. MDNI. 

A/N: I have some serious trauma when it comes to nipple piercings. More power to you if you like yours, but I did not like mine. 😂

You can’t hide anything from him - Jeonghan, Wonwoo, Minghao

You’re acting suspicious and it starts to worry him. He doesn’t want to pressure you into telling him what’s going on, but he’s really starting to think that something is wrong. Say you guys share locations for safety purposes, like you like to know when he gets settled in the hotel while traveling and he likes to know that you made it home from work when he’s going to be working late. He sneaks a peek at your location during a break one day and sees that you’re at… a piecing shop? His interest is piqued, but he plays it cool when you both get home, casually what you got into today. If you try to deflect or lie, he just calls it out. Like, “uh huh, and how was the piercing shop? 🤨’. You know you’re busted, so you tell him about your surprise. And he is pleasantly surprised! Just don’t try to pull one over on him like that, because it probably won’t work. 

He feels them when he hugs you - Joshua, Woozi

When he comes home from a long week of just missing each other due to conflicting schedules, he pulls you into a hug immediately. It’s really all he’s thought about all week. You’re already in your pajamas without a bra, and it feels… different? But it’s only been a week, so why?? He pulls back and does a quick scan of you and asks if you’re okay. You say ‘of course,’ and he’s not really convinced, but he’s too tired to argue. It’s when he’s got you curled up into his side in bed later that it clicks. Imagine being shaken awake at 3am and opening your eyes to him staring at you and asking, “Do you have something to tell me?” You may or may not be going back to sleep, who’s to say. 

He sees them through your bra/shirt - Jun, DK, Mingyu

Similar to the previous group, he’s just been missing you due to conflicting schedules. But finally, you guys have a free night to see each other! You both are so tired that you both decide to just stay in and order something. You’re wearing a form-fitting top and he’s really trying not to look, honest. He wants to be respectful and he cares to hear about how your week has been, but he also misses your body and being close to you. He glances at your chest, totally meaning for it to just be a glance, but he notices a difference. He reaches out in confusion. “Uh, baby, what is that?” He does not know how to handle this reveal when you show him, at least at first. But when he gets it together, the food will be put aside, conversation totally forgotten. 

He feels them before or during sex - Seungcheol, Chan

It’s been a long week and there’s a lot of frustration pent up. So you aren’t totally surprised when he scoops you up to go to the bedroom as soon as he gets home. It’s as his hand creeps up your shirt or that your shirt comes off entirely, that he realizes something is different. It feels different, or a little sparkle catches his eye. I fully believe that this little revelation would totally change the pace. Whatever you guys were doing before is fast-paced and maybe a little aggressive. But it’ll turn into something sweet and soft, with a little (or a lot) of body worship. Later, he’ll tell you how much he likes them, but for now he’ll show you. 

You have a reaction that gives it away - Hoshi, Seungkwan, Vernon

My experience with this type of piercing is that you don’t realize how many things you bump into until you have it. So, say you guys have just been busy and not really had a lot of time to be intimate lately. You’re in a rush and bump into something. What should have been a small wince that you can keep moving through makes you stop and cry out in pain. He’s borderline panicked, asking if you’re okay. He doesn’t really let you brush it off, wanting to check for bruises or cuts with genuine concern, so eventually, you just have to admit to your little surprise that you were saving for him. And he is surprised and he’ll appreciate it later tonight! But you might get scolded a little bit for now to be more careful. 

[seigephoenix]

Stuck in my Head 2

Second part to this oneshot >Here<. Part two has just as much smut and no amount of plot again.

Content Warning: cunnilingus, p in v, kissing Length: 3.3k

Annoyance settled over Emmrich after she slipped away from him again.  She was avoiding him.  Odette had been doing that since the night in his observatory.  A night that left him with restless dreams of those lips under his and the taste of her skin on his tongue.  Emmrich glared at her disappearing back as she scurried towards Bellara’s room.  The biggest wound to his pride was she had left that room wanting while he’d been satisfied.  His honor didn’t like that at all.  Emmrich loved the way she said his name, but he wanted to hear his name break on her lips.  He sighed as he sipped his tea.  A plan was forming already.

Bathhouse

Odette sighed as she sank down into the water of the bathhouse.  The Anderfels were always cold, but Hossberg was on another level.  She reached up and tugged her hair down until it fell over her shoulders in golden waves.  She dipped below the water and stayed for a moment before popping back up.  She let the water fall away from her face and sighed happily pushing her hair back.  Odette rested her arms on the side of the bathing pool as she floated in the warm water.  She hummed happily to herself, letting the steam wash away the memory of all that snow.

She didn’t know what she was going to do about Emmrich.  She couldn’t keep avoiding him forever and she needed to apologize to him.  A sigh escaped as she rubbed her eye thinking about the brazen way she’d taken advantage of him.  They’d both had too much wine to drink, but that wasn’t a valid excuse and she knew it.  “You are an adult Odette.  You can use your big girl words and apologize, can’t you?” Her own words had her grumbling about being a coward.  She did need to say sorry for her actions or the team would suffer for it.  With this mistake weighing between her and Emmrich.  Though, Odette didn’t want to call what happened a mistake.  “Maybe the whole not really asking for permission thing…”  She shook her head at herself before getting out of the water.

“Hey Rook.  You in here?” Odette looked up as she heard Taash’s voice.

“I’m in here.  Just getting out actually.  Is everything alright?” She hastily pulled on her clothes as she heard boots approaching.  Taash came around the corner just as Odette piled her hair on the top of her head.

“Hey, you look pretty with your hair up like that.”  Odette paused before laughing at the abrupt compliment.

“Thank you Taash.  Now, what did you need me for?” She gathered up her ruined robes that had been saturated with blight and wrinkled her nose before setting them aside for disposal later.

“Oh!  You got some time to spare for a trip to the Hall of Valor?”

“Is there another fight?” Odette asked walking with Taash out of the bathhouse.

“You could say that.  Isabela wants you in the fighting ring again.”  Odette sighed in exasperation as Taash laughed.  “You fought too good.”

“If I’d known that, I would’ve done a little bit worse,” she grumbled as Taash laughed again.  They were grinning at her.  Odette smiled at Taash’s amusement, knowing that they’d never let her live this down.  To her surprise, Taash grew serious.

“You should take the professor.”  Odette tensed slightly, a miniscule amount, but Taash noticed.  “I thought something was going on.  What happened?”

“That will remain between Emmrich and myself Taash.  I appreciate the help, but I’ve already decided to apologize.  It was just a minor, but awkward, thing.”  Taash gave her a look but sighed.

“Fine.  If you say it’s good.”  Odette nodded and watched them walk off before she turned towards the kitchen to brew some tea.  She heard the scoff behind the wall and chuckled at Lucanis before she headed towards her room.  While it was a room to meditate and communicate with Solas, she moved things around to make it more hers while she was living at the Lighthouse.  Bookshelves lined the walls and the aquarium had a bench seat that allowed her to lean against the glass and stare up at the fish swimming.  Almost like a small bubble of space within the aquarium itself as the glass surrounded her.  It gave her a tranquil place away from the chaos that was her current life.

Odette smiled happily as she perched on the bench next to the aquarium.  She leaned back against the glass, closing her eyes as she let the sound of the water fill her senses.  Shoring up her confidence when she finally faced Emmrich.  The door opening startled her out of her reverie and her breath froze in her chest as she saw the object of her thoughts walking in.

“Emmrich!” She hopped off the bench, wincing as she knocked over her tea mug, the ceramic shattering against the floor.  The liquid splashed all over her clothes to her chagrin.  Damn it.  “Don’t.  Let me clean up the shards.” Odette warned him when he approached.  She knelt next to the pieces and swept up the shards, wincing when one pierced her thumb.  Little bastard.  Disposing of the shards was easy enough and she turned to Emmrich when she was done.

“Do you have a moment?”  Nerves tangled in her belly and she nodded.  “Please, let’s sit for this discussion.”  Her throat tightened as the anxiety loomed close.  She stepped towards the couch, wincing and yelping when a missed shard pierced through her soft shoes.  The pain, sharp and white hot, radiated up her foot and leg.  “Odette?”

“I missed one.”  She hopped over to the small chaise and sat clumsily before bringing her foot up.  Odette was stunned when Emmrich knelt in front of her, cradling her calf in his hands before pulling the shoe off.  “Emmrich?  It’s fine.  Truly, I don’t think I’m even bleeding.”  She tried to tug her leg away but he tightened his grip.

“You are in fact bleeding my dear.”  She winced at the censure she heard there.  Odette sighed and her head fell to the side in annoyance at herself.  “Let me take care of it.”  She nodded and they sat in silence as he disinfected the cut on the bottom of her foot.  Odette repressed the urge to shudder with his fingers cradling her leg the way he was.  His thumb brushed against the inside of her ankle softly but made her blood burn.  His fingers were on her and she wanted more.  She wanted to feel them on her body.  Guilt weighed her down.  He was concerned about her and all she could think about was fucking him.  She’d drive herself mad if she kept up those thoughts, not when she could finally say what she needed to say.

“I’m sorry.” The words came out unbidden and startled Emmrich into looking at her.  “For what happened the other night.”  Odette looked away to the side as heat flushed her face.  “I.  I took advantage of the situation and made you uncomfortable.  I.” Odette paused when he released her foot.  She braced herself for the lecture but to her surprise, his hands grasped her thighs shoving them apart until he knelt between her legs.  Her heart lodged in her throat as her mind scrambled to catch up.  His fingers dug into her legs, sending her pulse skyrocketing again.

“You’re sorry for what happened?” Emmrich asked quietly.  He leaned in until their noses brushed and his lips were inches away from hers.  Her lips parted on a shaky sigh, trembling from the need to taste him.  She leashed the urge back.  Was he doing this on purpose?  Maker, I hope not, this is torture.

“I’m sorry for pressuring you the way I did.”  She spoke quietly turning her face away to hide the turmoil and guilt in her eyes.  Odette gasped when his fingers grasped her chin, pulling until she was facing him again.  “I shouldn’t have pushed the way I did.  I understand it wasn’t something you wanted.”  The breath lodged in her throat when he leaned in.

“Do you think I am so weak that I couldn’t stop you if I wanted to?”  His lips brushed her ear and she shuddered at the way need clenched hard and hot.  Her fingers curled into the cushion fighting the urge to touch him.

“I.  I didn’t think of it like that,” she said quietly.  It explained why he looked so mad at her for apologizing.  Relief swept through her that he wasn’t angry at her.  She’d been terrified he’d be so angry and she’d lose him.

“I am mad about one thing from the other night.”  She tensed when he leaned further in, crowding her against the back of the chaise lounge.  She was trapped on the chaise and her body throbbed from his nearness.  His cologne and warmth wrapped around her, making her palms itch to reach out and touch him.  Her thighs squeezed together to hide the evidence of her arousal.  She felt almost pathetic for being this damned needy when the man hadn’t even touched her.  Just his proximity and his voice were enough to have her body dripping and aching for him.  Odette let out a trembling sigh before asking him what he was mad about.  “The fact you left and didn’t come back.”

“I didn’t think you wanted to see my face after that…  When Harding interrupted us, you seemed angry.”  Odette paused in surprise as the cool air of her room hit her chest.  Her eyes darted down seeing his fingers slip the last of her buttons free.  When had he?  The front of her blouse fell away, exposing her skin to his hands and eyes.

“I wasn’t mad at you.”  Emmrich’s words were spoken against her skin, trailing his lips from her temple to the corner of her mouth.  One hand came up to grasp the bottom of her chin, keeping her from still.  Her heart raced against his palm.  Odette bit her lips to keep from moaning, she was so damned needy.  “I was frustrated.  I wasn’t done with you.”

“Wh-what?” Any other words were cut off by his lips slanting over hers in a devouring kiss.  He tasted her moan on his tongue when her lips parted beneath his.  His fingers tightened on her chin as her felt her melting under him.  He slowly trailed his fingers down her throat, smiling against her lips at the feel of her racing pulse against them.  The tip of his finger traced the edges of her bra, teasing in slow sensuous touches.  Her nipples beaded beneath the fabric and he felt his control slipping ever so slightly.

He saw her hands clenched into fists against the soft material of her chaise.  He wanted to feel them in his hair, on his body, he just wanted her to touch him.  The way she’d tangled her fingers in it the other night haunted his dreams along with everything else.  “Why are you so tense?”  He trailed his lips over her jaw, nibbling at her sensitive skin.  His lips curved in a self-satisfied smile when that tiny hitch in her breath hit his ears.

“I.  I don’t know.  I thought you’d be mad at me for what happened, but now that I know you’re not…  I’m not sure why…”  Odette didn’t want to admit to herself that she was still afraid to touch.  She was scared that if she did, it would make him come to his senses and he’d leave her.  Irrational and stupid, but she couldn’t stop herself from thinking those thoughts.  She forced her fingers to relax, resting them on her thighs to ease the ache in them.

The move brought his attention to her thighs.  “Don’t hesitate to touch me if you want to dearest.”  His lips brushed her temple and he sensed the unease in her.  She was skittish of getting close, he sensed that actions would speak louder than words with her.  Emmrich hoped that with time she’d grow more comfortable with him, but he would go at her pace and do what he could to soothe those anxious thoughts.

“It’s alright?”  Emmrich gathered her hands in his, bringing them up until his lips pressed a kiss against her palms.  Odette’s lips curved in a shaky smile before twisting into a gasp when he captured her wrists in one of his hands, pulling until her back arched against him.  His other hand eased down her body, cupping her breast in his hand.  His fingers rolled her nipple before he squeezed the warm weight in his hand.  Her head fell back against the back of the chaise on a moan.  Emmrich knew she was sensitive, but this was going to test his patience.  The urge to just take her rode him, but he wasn’t going to give in until he felt her fall apart.  He twisted the clasp between her breasts and pushed the fabric away from her chest, leaving them bare for his gaze.

His lips grazed the underside of her jaw, leaving nibbling kisses down her neck.  Her lips parted on his name spoken in a breathy whisper that sent heat curling in his body.  Impatience simmered but he would savor this, savor her.  He released her hands to hook his fingers in her trousers, tugging until he threw them over his shoulder.  She sat there staring at him in stunned shock with all that blonde hair falling around her shoulders.  He wasn’t sure when it came out of the knot she’d put it in, but he was thankful for it.  Her hair was like a halo that framed her face, and she was his goddess.

Odette shuddered when his palms cruised over her thighs, letting his thumbs stroke along the sensitive skin.  Odette fought the urge to cover herself, she knew what he’d see and she was slightly embarrassed by the fact she was soaked.  His hands rested against her thighs, not moving.  Frustration cut deep but she saw the devilish look in his eyes.  He was doing it on purpose.  Odette wanted to groan in exasperation, if her core didn’t ache for his touch.  A steady, aching throb beat between her legs for him.  Odette flushed when she saw how close his hands were to her core and she glanced to the side.  She didn’t have time to react before he tugged and her legs were thrown over his shoulders.  She squealed when his mouth settled on her clit over the soft cotton.  He ignored her protests and wrapped his hands around her thighs.

“Emmrich!  You don’t.”  Her head fell back on a moan when his thumb pulled her panties aside and his lips closed over her clit, sucking gently on the tiny bud.  Her fingers tangled in his hair at the pulse of heat between her legs.  Heat sparked along her nerves, focused solely on him and his lips.  She was so close already it was embarrassing.  The heat tangled into a tight knot throbbing where his lips were.  Her toes curled when he slipped two fingers inside of her.  He curled them and stars exploded behind her eyelids.  The tension burst in languid waves of heat rolling through her body.  His name was a broken moan on her lips as the exquisite pleasure throbbed between her legs.  Odette couldn’t believe she came that fast.

Emmrich knew one thing.  He eased back when her legs went limp around his shoulders.  He knew that he’d never forget the sound of his name on her lips when she broke apart around him.  His hands gently slid her legs off his shoulders, careful of the wound on her foot, before he grabbed her hips.  Her eyes were cloudy from his kisses, his tongue, and his hands.  He’d never call himself a greedy man, not before he met Odette Ingellvar.  He couldn’t get enough of her.  Her smile, her laugh, the way her eyes lit up when she was excited about something.  Everything about her he loved.  A lifetime wouldn’t be enough.

Odette was struggling to steady her breathing.  Her head was still reeling from that mind numbing orgasm.  She jumped when his hands squeezed her hips and her eyes met his.  What was he doing?  Odette’s lips parted to ask the question but his lips covered hers instead.  She tasted herself on his lips and her core ached again for him.  She shifted with him, pausing when he knelt between her legs on the chaise.

“One of these days, you’ll need to get a proper bed dearest.”  Odette wanted to laugh at the indignation in his voice.  She hadn’t really thought about it before.  The chaise offered her enough comfort for a night of sleep, and that was all she’d needed at first.

“I have one back in the Grand Necropolis,” she replied to his surprise.

“As do I.  We shall have to make use of them when we go back to Nevarra.”  His forehead rested against hers as he spoke.  She reached up caressing his face as if committing it to memory.  His lips brushed against hers, tantalizing her with whisper soft kisses.  She was absorbed in him and didn’t notice anything but his lips until his cock brushed her slick core.

Odette was no fresh faced virgin, but it had been a long time.  She looked up into his face and smiled softly.  She trusted Emmrich.  Her hands pulled him down for another drugging kiss moaning against his lips when his cock slid inside her body.  Her head fell back as he moved slowly filling her until she couldn’t think of anything but him.  His lips trailed over her neck, leaving a trail of biting kisses along the sensitive skin.  His eyes noted the reddened skin in the wake of his kisses.  An unfamiliar sense of possessiveness filled him and he quickly shut it down.

“Are you feeling alright Odette?” She wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him flush against her.  He chuckled at her impatience, burying his face in all of that wavy hair.  “I will take that as a yes?”

“I’m fine Emmrich.  But I won’t be if you don’t move,” she hissed at him.  He shuddered when her fingers tangled in his hair.  Seeing the normally composed Rook fraying at the edges, showing impatience in her words and body, it was worth more than he could ever say.  His hips rocked against hers and he swallowed her moan against his lips.  Her body squeezed him and he knew he wasn’t going to last long if she kept that up.

Odette’s breaths came in short, choppy bursts as she met his thrusts.  Impatience simmered as he kept the pace torturously slow.  She didn’t want slow.  She groaned against his shoulder as he finally, finally began to move inside her.  Acting on an impulse, her lips closed over his pulse point and she sucked.  The small purple mark against his skin sent a thrill through her, she clamped down on his cock seeing it.  He hissed out her name in warning but she didn’t care.  She’d heal it later if he didn’t like it.

His hips rocked steadily against hers, chasing his orgasm and hers.  His hand slid between them to tease and massage that tiny sensitive bud.  Her cries bounced off the walls of her room as she fell off the precipice.  Emmrich clenched his jaw feeling the way her walls squeezed him with each wave of heat that rolled through her.  He hissed out her name when he followed her off the edge.

Emmrich kept his weight on his forearms as they struggled to steady their breathing.  Reality was threatening to intrude but Odette wasn’t about to let it.  She was surprised when Emmrich shuffled them on the chaise, stretching out on the cushions and tucking her against him.  She paused for only a moment before relaxing in his arms.  Reality would come soon enough, but for now she wanted to stay within his warm embrace.

[cillianmurphysdimples]

A female Y/N / Cillian fanfic (Part Twenty)

Absolutely not based on anything real at all, all totally fictional, fanciful, and is all total bollocks.

Warning for sexual references and language. Adult themes. Not suitable for under 18s.

We Got Issues

Part Twenty: Y/N is settled, albeit a little lonely, with life moving along while Cillian works away on the long stretch to Christmas. But he texts her early one morning and ends up dropping a bomb that not only raises her anxiety, but also leaves her wondering again if Cillian's mind is ever truly made up - not to mention dealing with the fallout of the bomb. [Anxiety themes. Family dynamics]

@remembering-angels @dragonsneversharetheirtreasure @aesthetic0cherryblossom @meister95 @vivianleighwishesshewasme @meadowshelby @strangeions @lavender-haze-01 @watermeezer

.......

You frown at your phone, a little confused by the text message you've just received from Cillian. It's barely gone eight am and you've only just sat down to start work. He's been back in England for two weeks now, and you've settled into a balance of working, ringing him in the evening, sleeping alone and repeating it…daily! You’ve received an abundance of messages from former friends and people from home, and from Sophie, over Cillian's images online following interviews, and have laughed heartily over one insinuating that he looked like he was enjoying oral sex! Cillian didn't find it as amusing - “can I not fucking stretch, boy?!” - but you'd found it hilarious. You pick up the phone from your desk and open the message, hoping to glean more from it than the notification bar. You scan your eyes over the text.

“I had a chat to Aran last night. There are a few things bothering him and we have questions to answer. I'll call you in about an hour and give you the full details. I love you so much.”

Your stomach drops instantly. This can't be good, surely? And calling in an hour? And sorry, but ‘I love you so much’. What? You quickly tap out a reply to him, your hands beginning to feel airy and tingly.

“No, no, no, you prick! Don't do this to me. What's going on? Ring me now!”

You set your phone back down and sit back into the office chair, tapping your fingers against the armrests. Why would he ever think it was okay to infer something and then basically hold off? How could he do that! And what the hell is going on with Aran? You get up from the chair and pace a few steps around the floorspace, then stare back at the phone and beg it to ring. You drop back down into the chair and sigh loudly, feeling suddenly ridiculously sick. You do recall you'd felt rather sick going to bed last night, too, and begin to assume that your anxiety levels really are affecting you severely. It's ten minutes before you receive anything further, and you're almost surprised when it's a phone call. You snatch your phone up and stare at “Cill” on the screen before swiping to accept it.

“Cill, you can't do that…” you say instantly.

He clears his throat, “I didn't think, Y/N, I'm sorry.”

You sigh deeply. “Okay.” You run your hand across your face. “So what's the problem with Aran?”

Cillian pauses for a long time, clears his throat again, and then you hear an odd sound with his mouth followed by a prolonged exhale and you know he's smoking a cigarette. You want to believe it's because they're working again, but you can't be sure. He had taken up smoking again during the period before his divorce, and you knew it had been a partial habit before that, too. You'd hate for him to have reclaimed it. “He'd some questions last night. I asked him about things recently and he said if I'd the right to ask him for explanations, then he could get some from me too.”

You frown, thinking the young man had a bit of an attitude for a moment, but you couldn't totally understand the behavioural shift going so far as to be that rude to his Dad, “Right. About what?”

You hear Cillian take a deep breath before he speaks. “Some things he found on that fucking laptop.” he says and you're not sure if it's through gritted teeth or he's got the cigarette in his mouth.

“Cill, stop dragging it out, for fucks sake! What?” You snap, and instantly feel a little mean for it.

You hear him mutter a sharp-toned “fuck” and exhale - probably cigarette smoke - again. “Old fucking iPhone logs that had saved to the fucking thing, or something. He read the fuckers, checked the dates. Y/N, he's been through loads of messages from before Yvonne and I split up. He knows what we were doing, and he knows…he knows about the fucking abortion.”

Your stomach sinks to your knees and your heart thumps wildly in your chest. “No….?” You mumble.

“He's not blackmailing, he's not planning on sharing it with Mal or Yvonne, he said. I mean, fuck, he's not that much of a bollocks.” His accent thickens up and he sing-songs his way through vowels animatedly. “But he wants to fucking understand. And he wants to know if we'd have kept the baby if it had happened after his Mum and me separated. He wants to talk to us both when I'm home. He's angry, and he doesn't understand, and said there's loads of things he wants to ask.” You hear Cillian sigh deeply and you don't know if he's angry or worried for what's next. “Sure, I don't even know what's on there - I've no idea how far back, or up to when. Like, I've no fucking clue, boy!” He raises his voice.

“Fuck,” you mumble, and when you bring your hand up to cover your face, you realise you're crying. “Shit.” You sigh. “No fucking wonder he's been acting differently. He's devastated.”

You hear him inhale deeply again, and you find yourself thinking over the possibility of him smoking again, hoping it's just an “in character” habit and not something he's going to lean back into now. “Y/N, listen to me; he said clearly he doesn't hate us over this, but he's angry, and he doesn't understand it but he wants to. We need to let him ask his questions. Because if he doesn't get it, then all he's going to think is that Yvonne and I split up because I was seeing you behind her back. And if that's his thinking, then to him I'll just be some prick who cheated on his mother.”

“And what does that make me? Just some slut!” You snap back at him. “God, I feel sick!”

“Stop it. Nobody thinks that. It wasn't your fault.” He insists. “I'm gonna get home for a day or two, as soon as I can, and we'll have him in for a talk.” Cillian sounds considerably more calm all of a sudden and you wonder if there are people around him now. “I can talk to you again later, but I've to go. I'm sorry.”

“Why?” You ask, though you're not sure why - why you asked, or why he's sorry.

“Because you're being made to feel bad because of me again.” He says and the sadness is intoxicating, and not in a good way.

“Cill,” you say, and it's less of a spoken word and more of an exhale. “No, it isn't your fault.”

He breathes deeply. “I'll ring you later on, alright? I love you.”

“I love you too.” You say, and you wait for the line to go dead before you draw the phone down from your face. You hold the phone in your hand and stare at your open laptop for a moment, suddenly hating the piece of technology despite it not even being the offending object. The feeling of intense anxiety has slowly settled to just a feeling of deep dread - though you're sure there isn't much difference - and has moved aside somewhat for the nauseating unrest in your stomach.

You have a strong urge to text or call Aran yourself, and see if he'll meet with you alone. He's not far away, for fucks sake! But you know you can't - he's a child, still, and he's not your child. And the last thing you would ever want to do is upset Cillian by causing problems for him with his children. You sigh deeply and drop your phone onto the tablet. Regardless of how you feel now, you have to work. You draw your chair closer to the desk and log into your work email account - your mind is flustered and you just wish Cillian was here, but you've come to know that wishes are rarely granted.

You close the lid of your laptop and sit back with a groan, stretching your legs out before you receive your body a little. You've barely moved all day, keeping your mind focused on work to prevent bombarding Cillian with texts or counting down the minutes until he calls again. While your anxiety had settled enough for working, you still felt a heavy nausea in your stomach, even as you shut the door on the office behind you. You walk slowly down the first set of stairs and then the second, landing with a soft step at the bottom of the stairs. Though you haven't been near it all day, you check that the front door is still locked and that the alarm is still primed before you move to the kitchen. You pull the fridge door open and stare inside - you've had two coffees and a few glasses of water throughout the day, but couldn't bring yourself to food. Despite feeling hungry too, the nausea trumps it and you shut the door again without touching a thing. Sighing, you open the fridge and remove one of the bottles of Cillian's beer at the bottom. You close the door with your hip and set the bottle onto the island as you search for the opener. It's not in the drawer it usually is, nor on the drainer, and you're about to curse the entire kitchen when you find it in the second drawer. You passive-aggressively pop the cap off and get your revenge on the opener by throwing it down onto the island. You take your beer to the sofa and snuggle into the corner, with your knees pulled up and the TV controls in hand. You don't even get to select an app on the green before your phone rings, and you toss down the controls and draw your phone from the pocket of your hoodie. Of course, it's Cillian.

“Hi,” you say softly, cupping the phone to your ear.

“Well, are y'alright?” He asks, and he sounds tired and gruff.

“No. Are you?” You reply.

“Ah, sure…” he dismisses you. “Here, I'd a word today with Steven. I'll come home on the weekend. I let Aran know there in a text. He says that's grand, so at least this isn't going to be hanging over us.”

“There is no way he isn't going to tell his mother.” You say when he goes quiet. “And maybe he should, maybe we should have. But I can't take this, Cill. It's been three years since you got divorced, we shouldn't now be hashing things over.”

“Ah, stop, will ya. I don't need reminding of all the bad choices I've made here, Y/N!” He groans. “I was gonna leave her, it was just easier to do it when I had you too. You didn't do anything wrong; it was me married, not you. I'll deal with whatever I have to here.”

“Is Aran okay? Really okay?” You ask, “If he knows about the termination then it must be a strange thing for him - there could have been a baby, related to him.”

“On the phone before he was calm, angry but calm. Demanding, but sure maybe he has the right. He's nearly eighteen, you know, they're not wee kids. Sure, maybe I've got to demand of them some adult behaviour, but to get that I'll have to give it too.” he says, and you're not entirely sure what the tone of his voice means.

“What do you mean?” You ask, frowning. “Like with a baby?”

He sighs into the phone before he speaks again. “Like with a lot of things. I feel so fucking guilty over walking out, I forget they've got their own lives carved out now and our relationship has to be different than it was three or four years back. It shouldn't matter what I do now as much as it used to, maybe? Sure, I dunno…”

You feel anger burning up in you, “If you turn your fucking mind around again now, Cillian, I swear to God I will walk.”

“What?” His tone changes again, but you're sure you knew what he was getting at. “Y/N? What?”

You feel sicker than ever but you're so sure you could hear yet another flip-flop in his decision that all you could do was focus on the burning anger at that possibility. “I'm glad you're having a fucking revelation, Cill, that's fucking fantastic, but if you use Aran finding this information as a means to go back again and tell me you want to go ahead with parenthood for a second time, I think I will actually be the one responsible for the headlines “Cillian Murphy found dead”. I swear it, Cillian. Don't do this!”

“Ah fuck off,” he snaps, “I didn't say I had changed my mind back,” he insists, and that ever-melodic Cork twang peaks up again, elongating vowels and clipping words with abandon. “I said I've to have a different relationship with my kids now. That I don't have to consider them for every choice I'm going to make. What are ye on about me going back and changing my mind?” He huffs loudly. “I know you're feeling like I've fucking gone off and left ye, and now I'm throwing my mistakes at ye with Aran and the fucking laptop, but don't be going down some dark path and make out I'm here to cause you upset deliberately. I'm not, Y/N. I'm not trying to make this hard for you.”

You wonder if you've over-assumed, if you've let your mind get sucked down, but you're sure the tone he spoke with and the answer he gave when you said a baby meant something. But you feel guilty for the temper he's flared up with, and you take a deep breath and try to calm your anger.

“Hey, Y/N?” He calls your name, and it's softer than his words before. “Y/N, don't ignore me, will ye.” He sighs heavily. “Please, I'm sorry if… I'm sorry.”

“No, I'm sorry, maybe I just - I'm sorry.” You say quietly. You don't feel sorry, not really, but the thought of leaving him there upset - or yourself here upset - makes you feel worse than muttering a few words.

You hear him sigh and know that the risk of a full scale row is mitigated, because he sighs with a small laugh. “Did you not get that hormone surge over with?”

“Not really,” you sigh and he laughs again. “What's funny?”

“What do you mean not really?” He asks and you know he's smirking.

“I had like a really light period, it wasn't enough of a relief for the fucking tension.” You say, and find yourself so ridiculous that you laugh as he does. “Cill, I just don't want this to cause problems. I want Aran to be happy, and I don't want him to feel badly about me again. And I don't want you or us to change.”

“I don't want things to change either.” He says with a gentle voice. “Definitely not if it's for the worse. Good changes wouldn't be bad, now.”

You smile, “What's a good change?” You ask, and you hear him exhale a soft, breathy laugh.

“Ah, I dunno,” he hums and you hear the sound of a click, followed by a deep inhale.

“Cillian?” You are instantly accusatory, you know, but you really don't want him back-stepping. “Smoking?”

“Ah, give over. I spent the day puffing the fake bastards whilst stressing my fucking bollocks off. I won't buy another pack.” He says with an earnest promise. “I won't,” he adds and you wonder if he could somehow sense the face you've pulled. “Anyway, come here, don't be worrying too much over Aran. I'll get home there Friday evening and we'll get him over Saturday and let him say what he needs to, and we can get our own words out too.”

“And you think it'll be okay, for him, once we talk? He'll settle back down if we're just honest?” You ask as that thread of anxiety begins to pick up again. You sip at your half finished beer.

“I hope so,” he says, sounding sleepy. “I love you, and sure whatever happens I'll still love you. Alright?”

You smile, but you can feel a lump in your throat at his words. “Yeah - I love you too.”

“Well, go on, get away and watch your shite TV. I'm gonna get a bath and sleep.” You can hear the smirk as he speaks. “Good night, mo ghrá.”

“Night, love.” You say quietly, and pull the phone down from your face. You're not sure if you feel better or not, but you don't feel any worse. You wish he was here, you wish things had been open from the outset, and you dread the anticipation of seeing Aran's reactions at the weekend but you relish it too, because you wonder if it'll make you feel better. If someone other than Cillian knows about what you endured, even if it is his angry son, maybe it'll take some of the pain away from you.

[thebreakfastgenie]

I elaborated more in the notes so you wouldn't have seen it, but I'm not saying it doesn't hurt or people should say it doesn't hurt.

My insertion was bad. Not as bad as some stories I've heard, but bad. Not nearly as easy as some stories I've heard either. The vaccine comparison in that comment surprised me because it was a much bigger deal than a vaccine, and I say that as someone who used to get panic attacks when I got vaccines and had to be restrained. My doctor thought my insertion was bad. I was whimpering in pain by the end of it. I just didn't think it was that big a deal and was surprised it was enough for the doctor to mention it later. The main reason is it wasn't that bad for very long. I said at the time, kind of as a joke but not really, that my metric is "did it take two hours?" I probably felt some mild soreness afterward but I really don't remember, but the pain I had trouble dealing with ended as soon as the procedure was done. I got some really horrible cramps the next day, bad enough that I had to go home (though whether I would have left work if I wasn't already done with classes for the day idk) and enough to make me worry it wasn't placed correctly, but they only lasted a few hours (I think, honestly I don't remember). They were also different in type but not intensity to the worst period cramps I've had, which I was getting the IUD primarily to avoid ever getting again.

I think I went in with a different perspective than most people do because of my medical history. I thought of it as a minor but not trivial medical procedure to place a device in my body that would have a long term benefit to my health (mirena lasts 8 years). It wasn't my first or even second time doing that. I also probably have a different concept of what constitutes "not easy," which is why I was so surprised when my OB/GYN described my insertion that way. I've done a two hour cardiac MRI three times, my references are a little different than typical.

But I've been feeling for a little while now like the conversation has shifted in tone from "be prepared, ask for pain relief if you can" and advocacy for providing pain relief because some doctors don't like to offer it to this characterization of the insertion as a nightmarishly painful process. The horror stories get the most attention, which skews the perception. It's unpleasant and even painful, but it's not excruciating for everyone. I'd be surprised if it's excruciating for the majority. I know there's a narrative that it's no big deal, but that isn't universal from doctors either, and a lot of people already have normal anxiety around gynecological care and medical procedures in general that affects their expectations. I've been keeping sort of quiet about my concerns because I have a bit of a toxic "grit your teeth and get through it, that's what I did" mindset about it that I know I need to keep in check. I absolutely think pain relief should be offered, but if it had been offered to me I would have refused it.

I was finally pushed to say something because I was on twitter this morning and people were talking about IUDs in a way that equated them with pain. I think of the freedom it gave me from monthly pain. Someone actually described them as "pain for women" while claiming to be in favor of them. When I think of my IUD, I don't think of the pain of the insertion. In that thread women were expressing terror--not apprehension, not anxiety, terror--about their upcoming IUD insertions. It made me think at this point, hearing all these horror stories might be doing more harm than good. That same thread also included people who are fully opposed to birth control peddling the usual "hormonal birth control is terrible for your health" line. I know the people talking about the pain can't control this, but I worry about those messages appearing in the same place and what people will take away from that. There are so many more forces trying to talk people out of using birth control than into it.

I don't want people to stop sharing their stories honestly, but I don't like that IUD insertion being the worst pain ever has become a meme in certain circles. I just want to shift the tone of the conversation to focus on education and advocacy--giving people accurate expectations and teaching them to advocate for themselves, and educating providers and advocating for a better protocol--and away from negativity and fear, especially with the current political climate about reproductive health.

Okay I’m about ready to say I’m opposed to the whole “IUD insertion is horribly painful” thing. I keep seeing examples of women saying they’re terrified before their appointments and I think there’s a very really concern that talking about it this way will scare women off.