#this gives me serotonin so i share

[originalartblog]

:3c

[racetrackmybeloved]

this clip brings me so much joy <3

[dracimexidae]

Feelin’ like World Champions ✨🇮🇹

[dropthedemiurge]

I am gonna get better with my fever and I promise I will return to upload my thai bl fanarts on Inprnt and continue with art commissions for anybody who'll want to get a special art piece by my hand and support me in changing my life and career *-*

[floweryfandomnerd]

.

[mggslover]

🤓☝️ may i request for your first time series the first time spencer lets reader take control during sex? not too sure how you feel about sub spencer but im horny for it and i’d love to see what you do

edging sub spencer genre: smut 18+ cw: sub!spencer x dom!reader, mentions of spencer being insecure about his masculinity, mentions of p in v sex, tied hands, handjob, edging, breastplay, oral (f receiving), thigh fucking, bit of degradation, religious comparisons wc: 2,4k a/n: am i a sub spencer fan?! pull up in the- yes lol i very much am. i cannot even call these drabbles anymore. if anyone is wondering why your requests are taking so long, this is the reason. my first time exploring this dynamic. i hope you'll enjoy, let me know your thoughts!

“Come on, baby. You’re the one who begged me for this.”

Spencer whimpered underneath you in response. He sat up straight on your shared bed, upper body rested against the headframe, long legs spread over the sheets, as your naked body hovered over his. And most importantly, his hands were tied behind his back with a silk red fabric.

Spencer craned his neck, trying to press his lips to yours, but you simultaneously leaned away from him. You shook your head, tsking. “What did I tell you?”

Twinkling hazel eyes blinked up at you, his eyebrows caught in a slight furrow.

“You can’t tell me you forgot,” you purred, fingertips trailing the curve of his jaw. “What did I tell you, Spencer?” you repeat with more force in your tone.

He visibly swallowed as your nails dragged down his neck. “That I’m not allowed to touch you.”

“And why’s that?” You hummed.

“Because sexual denial will increase the release of dopamine, and—oh…” he closed his eyes in delight as your nails continued their path down his chest.

“—and the release of oxytocin and serotonin. It will… in general… Jesus… make you more sensitive, which will heighten your pleasure.”

He had hurriedly finished his last words, letting out a deep breath of relief once you nodded in confirmation. 

“And all we want is for you to feel good. Isn’t that right, baby?”

He nodded fervently, a deep moan escaping his throat as your fingers grazed the skin of his upper thigh, carefully avoiding his throbbing length.

-`♡´-

It had all started last week, when you came home on a dreary Thursday evening. Immensely frustrated from your day at work. 

Spencer oftentimes suggested sex when you were feeling stressed out. Sexual intercourse is known for lowering blood pressure and boosting happy hormones.

Usually this would result in him leading you to the bedroom where he’d gently press you down onto the mattress. He’d crawl on top of you, lips immediately finding yours, giving gentle pecks as his hands roamed up and down the sides of your body. 

You’d have sensual sex. Sweet. Vanilla. It was the norm, and when it came to sex, Spencer wanted to keep to the norm. Sexuality and masculinity were deeply intertwined for him, and in both of these aspects, he felt like he didn’t fit into the traditional roles of a man, causing him to feel the need to approach sex textbook-wise.

The sex was good for the both of you. You never minded seeing your boyfriend on top of you. His lips slightly agape as he fought back his moans, hair falling into his face with every push of his hips, shoulders shuddering as he came inside of you. And for Spencer, he was always happy to be there. 

So, it was entirely new when you came home that day and tugged him by the collar of his shirt the second you entered the house. Spencer’s mouth was still in a gasp when you hungrily pressed your lips to his, tongue finding his without building the moment up like you’d usually do. 

Your body pulled flush against him. The softness of your breasts pressed against his hard chest. He was able to feel the peaks of your nipples even through the fabric of clothes.

“Are you okay?” Spencer choked out as you cupped him roughly through his pants. 

“I just need you, Spence. I need to use you.”

Those words were almost enough to make him spill in his underwear. And indeed, the second you had moved to the couch and straddled him (an entirely new position), taking his cock in your soft hand as you sunk down onto him, it took an embarrassingly short amount of time for him to fill you up with his release.

You needed the control and security after having been bossed around at work. Spencer, on the contrary, felt too much in control at his job. Setting a profile and finding evidence and whereabouts on an unsub was very precise work, not even mentioning the huge amount of pressure on saving people’s lives. 

He never realized how good it felt to let go. To trust someone else in taking charge, in taking care of him. At that moment he didn’t think about portraying a certain type of masculinity. Instead of holding back his moans and settling on deep groans, he whimpered against your mouth as you fucked him. Squirming and whining underneath your touch as he begged you for more. 

His reactions didn’t go unnoticed by you. When you both had recovered and were cleaned up, you brought up the subject of this sub-dom dynamic, and it was very easy for Spencer to give in to exploring it more.

-`♡´-

“P-please.”

“What’s that?”

“Please touch me,” Spencer softly cried, fisting the pillow behind his back with the little grip he had.

You leaned in closer. Your breath tickled against his neck, leaving goosebumps in its wake, before you licked a bold stripe up the skin. 

A strangled moan left his throat. You smiled at him, pleased with yourself. It deeply turned you on that you could do whatever you wanted to him, that he’d beg you for anything that you could give him. 

His body responded to every ghost of your touch. Your lips trailed his throat, feeling the heat radiating off of him. Occasionally leaving lingering marks and bites until you made your way up his jaw.

“Is this what you wanted, Spence?” You teased as you put your hand around his thick shaft. 

“Yes,” he moaned, his head falling back against the headboard. “Exactly that.”

You pumped his length in a steady rhythm, flicking your palm to enhance the sensation. 

“You’re doing so good for me, baby. Such a pretty boy. Your cock is so hard and ready for me.” 

He shivered at your words. He didn’t know how he got so lucky to have you hovering above him, breasts swaying with every movement of your hand. You were so good to him. When his gaze blinked from your breasts to your face, seeing you seductively smile but your eyes radiating a gentle sweetness, he started wondering if there might really be a God. You were too heavenly to be here on Earth, pleasing him like there was no better enjoyment in life.

Your eyes were fixed on his cock, watching his precum gather at the tip. You circled the sensitive skin with a soft stroke of your thumb. Spencer used the momentary distraction to dive in, his lips catching around your nipple. “Oh god,” you gasped in pleasure, the sensation going straight to your core. His tongue made quick work of stimulating the nub. His cheeks were hollowed as he sucked, giving his everything for the mere moments he might get of tasting you.

Spencer was internally grateful when you didn’t stop him. As a matter of fact, your fingers knotted through his hair as you tugged him closer to you. It helped him keep his balance as his still tied hands clenched around the air. 

He continued his kisses to the rest of your breast once he was confident enough that you wouldn’t tell him to stop. He sucked on the soft, full flesh, leaving marks that would remind you of this moment days from now.

“Look at you sucking on my tits. You’re so desperate, aren’t you? Such a little slut for me.”

He moaned around your nipple, a wave of need fluttering through your stomach. You pulled on his hair, sharp enough to leave a pleasurable sting of pain. “Look at me.”

Wide doe eyes met yours. “‘m sorry.”

“Too distracted by having my tits in your face to look me in the eyes, huh?”

“Sorry, you’re just too pretty,” he truthfully muttered, eyes fleetly falling onto your breasts before blinking back up.

He looked so pretty like this. A red flush painting his neck and cheeks. His lips were just as swollen and red as he pouted at you. A smug smile lingered on your face, and you pulled him back in, leaning forward to not have him stretch his neck too far. The kiss was sloppy, hungry. You were not able to tell whether his whimpers were because of the kiss, or because of your touch as your hand had found its way back to his cock.

You fastened the motions of your wrist. His mouth was parted, a pretty song of whines escaping. You sucked down on his bottom lip, mirroring the action he always did when kissing you. 

“Oh, baby.” The moan came out in a gasp. His hips started stuttering, stomach clenching as he neared his release.

“Are you almost there, Spencer?”

“Yes! I’m almost there, I’m almost there baby. Please don’t stop.”

You released your grip on him. His length remained hard, standing upright as if you were still holding him.

The desperate cry that left his lips should have made you feel bad. Instead, you found yourself getting even more turned on. Sure that your thighs were slick with your wetness by now.

“Why—why did you do that?” He whimpered accusingly, as if betrayed. “I was so close.”

“Ah, I know, baby,” you faux pouted. You had to bite your lip to hold back a sadistic smile as you noticed his glossy eyes, looking more green than they usually were.

“I’m just keeping you to your promise,” you reminded him. He tilted his head like a confused puppy. “When you told me you’d always make sure to make me come first.”

“But we weren’t—”

“Uh, uh, uh,” you shushed him, index finger pressed to his lips. “Don’t you want to please me?”

He softly kissed your finger, “Of course I do.”

“Then start using your mouth for better things than complaining,” you cooed at him before carefully standing up on the bed, making your way forward until his face was right below your cunt. Spencer wiggled on the sheets until he lay flat on his back, arms in a bit of an uncomfortable position, but not enough to bother him as he had a perfect view of your dripping pussy.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered in a prayer. You softly chuckled, bending your legs so that they were spread on either side of his face. Slowly, you lowered yourself until his tongue, which was already sticking out, made contact with your folds. You hissed at the sensation, your clit throbbing in the same way it always did before he ate you out.

He started lapping at your pussy, gathering your sweet slickness and spreading it over the lips. He flicked his tongue over your inner lips before sucking on them. As much as Spencer adored giving you the reins, nothing compared to the shaky, uncontrollable whimpers that left your mouth. Sounds that were made because of him. Sounds that were made for him. 

“Keep making those sounds, sweet girl,” he mumbled against your pussy, the vibrations echoing through your body.

After more worshipping kisses to your cunt, his lips finally settled down on your clit. Your back arched when he started sucking on the sensitive button while simultaneously pressing on it with the tip of his tongue. He truly was your toy, no silicone object giving you the ecstasy that he could give you. 

“Oh God, Spencer. You’re so good at this,” you stated in a heavy breath. The feeling of your orgasm coming up was close to overwhelming, and you were whimpering as your vision hazed.

“Yes, yes, yes, yes. Oh, fuck, I’m—”

You weren’t able to finish your sentence, instead crying out a moan as your release hit you. Your legs started shaking uncontrollably, your pussy pressed even harder against his mouth as you rode out the aftershocks, muffling his deep moans. The feel of his nose against your overstimulated cunt was dizzying. 

“I need to lie down,” you said, out of breath. Shaky Bambi legs as you climbed off of him. Your body didn’t allow you to move much further. Settling on lying down on top of his body, spreading your legs to give his achingly hard cock room to breathe.

Your cheek rested against his sweaty chest. Spencer reached out to trace your face, huffing in annoyance when he remembered his hands were still tied behind his back. 

He hummed when you pressed a wet kiss to his chest. “Finish for me, baby.”

Then you squeezed your thighs together. Spencer swallowed when he realized what you meant. His cock was enveloped between your plush thighs, and when he experimentally lifted his hips, he discovered how good the act felt. 

“Jesus, that’s nice,” he groaned. 

Wasting no time, he started pumping his hips up, using your thighs as a cocksleeve. The wetness that was gathered on your inner thighs (and was still dripping out of your pussy) working as lube. 

Your fingertips lazily trailed over his chest. “Doing so good for me, baby. Show me how good you can make yourself feel.”

He nodded, a whine leaving his lips as he fastened his speed. His eyes were transfixed on the curve of your ass, craning his neck to get a better look.

He’s never experienced a feeling as sentimental as this. The rough pleasure of the sex mixed with the gentleness of your head resting against him. He couldn’t get closer to Heaven than this.

“You feel so good,” he whined. “You’re not stopping me this time. Right?” He asked for confirmation, his voice shaking in doubt. 

You laughed, the sound vibrating against his chest. “That really took a toll on you, huh? I won’t, I promise.”

The slight tension in his body resolved. Making him feel enough at ease to let go. He placed his feet firmly on the bed, using his knees to lift himself up, making you let out a yelp as he fucked your thighs.

The silk wasn’t enough to hold him back, the fabric tearing as he moved his wrists. His hands immediately found your head, holding you against him as his hips stuttered. Your moans were entangled in each other as he spilled his cum all over your ass. 

His stomach clenched underneath you, and you soothingly shushed him. Reassuringly caressing his chest and shoulders as he came down from his height.

-`♡´-

“You okay?” You softly mumbled once his heartbeat had calmed down.

He nodded, a lazy smile displayed on his lips. “I’m okay.”

“I wasn’t too rough with you. Was I?”

“No,” he answered, holding you closely against him. “You were perfect.”

[ha-rinrin]

Family at Rest

Summary: it's bed time!!

Pairing: Jinx x Fem!reader

wordcount: 468

Authors note: I know this is short af but don't worry there will probably be an extended version. writing about Isha and Jinx gives me so much serotonin is hard to explain, I just love them so much.

masterlist

You’re winding down for the night with Jinx, Isha, and Isha’s small body curled against Jinx’s side. It’s one of those rare, peaceful evenings where the usual unpredictability of the day has finally mellowed out. You’re sitting on the bed in your shared bedroom, brushing out your hair, while Jinx is sprawled out beside you, already in her favorite oversized shirt, looking more relaxed than usual. Isha, her hair messy from play and her small form wrapped in her pajamas, is curled up against Jinx’s side, one of her tiny hands clutching her stuffed animal as she dozes peacefully.

Jinx rolls over onto her back and reaches her arms out, her fingertips lightly brushing your side. “Hey, c’mere,” she says, a mischievous smile playing on her lips as she tugs you closer. “You’re not getting out of cuddling duty tonight.”

You smile, setting the brush aside and scooting closer to her. Jinx shifts a bit, pulling you against her, with Isha still nestled against her side, her head resting lightly on Jinx’s shoulder. You lean into Jinx, your head finding the crook of her neck as her fingers trace gentle circles along your shoulder. Her blue eyes watch you with a softness that she only shows to you. “Long day?” you ask, your voice low in the calm of the room.

She sighs, nodding slightly. “Yeah, but it’s better now. It’s better with you here.” She smirks, her usual spark lighting up as she glances down at Isha, who is still sound asleep against her side, breathing steadily. “Even Isha’s in on the love fest.”

You laugh softly, reaching over to gently tuck a stray strand of hair behind Isha’s ear. She stirs slightly but doesn’t wake, a peaceful smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

Jinx shifts again, nudging you with her shoulder. “Let’s do that thing where we talk about the best parts of the day,” she suggests, her tone soft. “It’s cheesy, I know, but… I kinda like it.”

You nod, smiling. “Alright, you first.”

She thinks for a moment, her expression softening as she looks down at Isha, then back at you. “Easy. Right now,” she says, threading her fingers through yours and squeezing lightly. “Being here with you and Isha, even if you’ve made me all soft.”

You lean over and press a gentle kiss to her forehead. “I love soft Jinx,” you whisper, making her roll her eyes with a grin, though she doesn’t pull away. Instead, she carefully shifts, adjusting her arm around both of you so Isha stays tucked against her side, still peaceful in her sleep.

The three of you settle into the quiet of the night, the warmth of your little family filling the room as sleep slowly takes over. The chaos of the day feels far away, wrapped in the love and comfort you’ve found together.

[paracosmicka]

As a trans man I love mpreg as long as it’s not fetishized. I want kids in the future so seeing mpreg is like going oh hey! Another seahorse dad! I don’t get to see myself in media much. It makes me uncomfortable when people don’t separate the 2 mpreg can be fetishized but it’s also a thing a lot of transgender afab go through. I know this is a sonadow account and it’s not that deep lol but thanks it’s cool seeing it :) saying that: more plz 🥹

This actually makes me feel so relieved bc another reason why I’m always hesitant to post pregnant Shadow is I’m worried that it can be seen as disrespectful or that if it might be used for fetishization purposes which isn’t really what I’d like my art to be associated with.

I don’t want to kink shame anyone, as an agender aroace person who does not experience any romantic or sexual desire whatsoever (i think? still learning about the different types of experiences within the aroace spectrum) I feel that I am literally the least qualified to talk about the morality behind mpreg as a kink/fetish.

With all that in mind, I do wanna say that I wish there was more transgender pregnancy representation that wasn’t just fetish. Like just googling “pregnancy symptoms” will give you a wide range of experiences, but when I was trying to look into if there were unique ways that pregnancy can effect trans men, it took a lot of digging so either I’m just stupid and can’t search things on the internet very well or there really isn’t a lot of representation of trans pregnancies.

Although I did recently learn that in the r/pregnancy subreddit, FTM does not in fact mean “Female to Male” and is actually just “First Time Mom” which makes a lot of sense bc for awhile I thought half of the subreddit were just trans guys. Then I discovered there is literally a subreddit r/seahorse_dads and so I spent awhile just reading a bunch of posts in there.

Anyway I’m fine just existing in my own space with sonadow family fluff, but when I share it I get all nervous bc mpreg is cringefail or whatever and I don’t even know if it’s cringe for being cringe or if it’s cringe bc it’s a fetish. Just know that whenever I post any art of any kind, I try to think as little as possible about how people will interpret my drawings, bc at the end of the day I just drew it because it made me happy and thinking about sonadow fluff gives me warm and fuzzy butterflies that I think people are supposed feel when they’re in love but I’ve never experienced that for another person in my entire life and I don’t think I’ll be able to. So thinking about and drawing sonadow is probably the closest I’ll get to that feeling.

And it makes me even more happy when people say they genuinely connected with my art bc then I know that the warm and fuzzy butterflies feeling got through, and I’m just really glad we can all get our little serotonin boost from these stupid gay hedgehogs.

I genuinely don’t think any of this makes sense I’ve spent 3 hours trying to write a response to this ask and then I remembered that I got zero sleeps last night so that’s probably why brain no worky but in conclusion: thank you for the ask Anon it really made my day and I’m spiritually headbutting you like a cat as they say

[daenysx]

i was thinking of remus and this is how i like to imagine him in a modern au i guess <33 requests are open if you wanna share with me, angels

remus lupin who's a night owl because apparently the silence is perfect for focusing on his books

remus lupin who ate too much chocolate once, he got sick

remus lupin who keeps eating chocolate because you can't possibly think he'll give up on his serotonin source

remus lupin who smokes in the early mornings as he watches sunrise

remus lupin who looks like a literal angel as he leans from window with his soft lips exhaling the smoke

remus lupin who has sensitive hands, he has to apply a hand cream every night to keep them from drying

remus lupin who takes his coffee black with no sugar

remus lupin who sometimes tries special drinks at a cafe (like pumpkin spice latte?) just because james insists

remus lupin who wears oversized sweaters

remus lupin who sleeps naked

remus lupin who likes long cuddling sessions in the morning

remus lupin who loves having his long legs tangled in yours

remus lupin who gives you sleepy kisses on your warm skin

remus lupin who adores counting the marks you left on his neck and chest

remus lupin who is responsible for making coffee in the morning

remus lupin who likes drinking red wine straight from the bottle with you on his bedroom floor in the evenings

remus lupin who gets quiet and cuddly when he's upset

remus lupin who likes getting his hair played with

remus lupin who uses the word 'dove' far too many times in a conversation with you

remus lupin who has classical pieces and rock songs in the same playlist

remus lupin who likes making love to you for hours

remus lupin who also likes getting rough when you're both in the mood

remus lupin who likes putting his head on the crook of your neck

remus lupin who has a messy handwriting

remus lupin who doesn't tidy up his room unless he really has to because he can't seem to find anything without a search party

remus lupin who needs to use reading glasses but he doesn't like the way they sit on his nose so he's being neglectful a lot

remus lupin who likes wearing mismatched socks when he's alone

remus lupin who has a home that smells like old books and orange cookies

remus lupin who eats all the chocolate before every time you try a new recipe just to see you flustered (also because- well, it's chocolate)

remus lupin who trusts james and sirius with his life

remus lupin who still uses wired headphones

remus lupin who likes sleeping with a background music

remus lupin who gives the best back rubs with his huge hands

remus lupin who likes midday naps

remus lupin who gets obsessed with herbal teas once in a while

remus lupin who can watch three movies in a row

remus lupin who has the comfiest couch you've ever seen

remus lupin who keeps you on the couch until you go lax in his arms as he cuddles you like it's his last day on world

[pullupinarari]

Lean your weight on me [LH]

1. Nobody’s listening to me

Summary: a 9 chapter series where you are a famous singer, living the career of your dreams. But your chaotic schedule makes your body give in, making you lose your memory and forget (almost) everything.

Authors note: hiiii girlies! This is chapter 1 of 9 that I have planned for this series! I love this idea so much, I stayed up until 3 am writing it 😭 I hope you babes enjoy this, this chapter is for pure context only, and Lewis will obviously play a huge part in the following ones. Mwah mwah 🩷

Warnings: some mental health issues being neglected , exhaustion, desperation, references to taking medication, passing out, plus this is barely proofread

wc: 3983 - English is not my first language! Feedback is always appreciated

all chapters here

Interviews, photoshoots, studio sessions, sound check, performance, concert, another interview, another performance, taking pictures with the fans, going to bed late and waking up early to do it all over again. And again, and again, and again.

You’re thankful for the life you have, you really are. You are living your dream, having the career that you always prayed for.

But being famous is both a blessing and a curse. It’s a life changing experience to be able to share your art with the world, to sing your heart out every night and pour your feelings out there to a crowd who seems to hug you momentarily while singing along to every single word you get out. But the hate, the comments, the pressure from the media, the rumours, are the dark side of it.

The current tour for your most recent album is kicking your ass. Your anxiety has been through the roof, your chaotic schedule leaves you very little time to breathe, let alone to get some rest. You don’t have time to stop, to relax, and when you do, you lay your head on the pillow and your body doesn’t shut down. You can’t sleep. Your mind rushes, thinking about the next show, the new songs, the music videos you have to record, all the interviews you have scheduled - you can’t stop. And it’s been like this for the past weeks - maybe even months.

You’ve been touring the world for four months now, and it’s fun, of course it is. Everyone would give everything to have your life, but it’s hard to cope when you’re exhausted - both physically and mentally. And, on top of that, the media won’t leave you alone. At first, they would write all about your tour, your new songs, your sold out arenas. But a few weeks after, they caught you going out with a male artist that you really admire, getting in touch with him so you two could feat on a future track that you’ve been thinking about for weeks now.

But the paparazzis only need a picture. And they just need to see you with that guy at a cafe in Italy - where you and him were both performing around the same time. And that’s all it takes for your “secret encounter” to be all over the headlines, the next morning.

You don’t watch the news, you don’t read comments, you don’t read headlines. Your body gave in at around 5 am, and you managed to get some sleep during four hours. You wake up with a video call from your husband, Lewis, startling you from your sleep. Still, his name on your screen makes you smile - you wouldn’t mind lose all your sleep hours to talk to him.

“Good morning, my love” - he says, the soft british accent going straight to your ears, making you smile at his kind words.

He looks relaxed, happy and full of serotonin. You can tell that he already showered after his morning run and had breakfast, you know his routine all too well. You are a night owl and Lewis is a morning sunshine, it’s always been like this - opposites really attract themselves.

Lewis wanted to see you, he knew all too well that he would be calling to a sleepy wife, but he didn’t had much free time today, so he wanted to take the risk and call you in the morning, so you two could talk for a bit.

You told him all about your latest shows and interviews, and he talks about the upcoming GP and his plans for the day. Lewis has a topic in mind that he really wants to approach, but he doesn’t want to upset you in any way, knowing that you have been stressed enough already with the little rest you’ve been having lately.

“Babe…” - he starts. “You haven’t checked your phone today, have you?” - your husband asks you, his tone sounding careful, like he doesn’t want to step on an egg by accident.

“No, I was sleeping. Why? Did something happened that I’m missing?” - you question him back, your eyebrows glued together in confusion.

He hesitates for a moment, thinking about if he should go ahead and talk about the picture or if he should just drop it, for your own sake. But he doesn’t want to think about that all day, he doesn’t want to have a single doubt about it, he wants to hear the truth from you.

“There’s this picture all over the internet, of you and a guy at a cafe, supposedly from yesterday? Some rumours are spreading, I just wanted to ask you if there’s anything I should know?” - he asks, his tone is sweet, he doesn’t mean to point a finger at you.

You blink twice at his words, the lack of rest and the fact that you had just woke up are not helping your mind right now and you feel slow.

“Ehm, not really? Do you remember that artist that I told you about a few weeks ago? The one I really wanted to collaborate with? Our managers finally helped us meeting, since we were both playing here this week. So we went to this cafe and talked about our ideas for the song, that was basically it” - you tell him the truth, watching his face as he carefully listened to you.

“Oh and by the way, his name is George and he’s gay. So, there’s nothing for you to be worried about” - you add, your mind already trying to unveil what’s going through his own.

Lewis smiles, his eyes melting by looking at the love of his life. He knew there wasn’t anything for him to worry about, he trusts you with his entire heart and life, he could never doubt you.

“Did you managed to get some sleep last night, my love?” - he questions, actually worried about you and the lack of rest that you’ve been complaining about for the past weeks.

You sigh. “I fell asleep at like, 5 am, I guess? And now it’s 9 am, so, four hours of sleep, yayyy” - you try to fake some happiness, making Lewis snort at your irony. In spite of it, he’s still concerned about your health and he wishes he could do something to help you sleep for a while and recharge your energies.

And it’s like you can read his mind, like you could actually see the engines in his brain working, searching for solutions to your problem.

“I’m thinking about trying these new sleeping pills and see if they can help me with my sleeping schedule” - you say, half informing him, half asking for his opinion on it.

Lewis raises an eyebrow at your words, not surprising you at all. You know how he feels about this type of medication, but he also feels unable to come up with a better idea. So he sighs - “just talk to the doctor about it first, please” - he asks you.

“I will, I promise. I don’t think I can take another row of doing shows, interviews, performances and everything without getting some decent sleep” - you admit. “These last few weeks have been really rough” - you reveal, your voice croaking a bit, feeling a knot forming on your throat already, just at the thought of everything that’s been going on lately.

Little did you knew that things would get worse. The picture of you and George keeps spreading through the internet, rumours grow bigger and bigger, and as you’re walking from your hotel to the venue where you’re playing tonight, some journalists stalk you to get some answers from you.

“Y/N, is it true that you’re going out with the new breaking through artist, George Lawson?”

“Where do you and Lewis Hamilton stand after all this?”

“Are you two getting divorced?”

“Do you feel guilty after publicly cheating on your husband?”

Multiple questions that keep you awake at night. The stinging feeling in your chest pounds like drums, making it impossible for you to fall asleep. It hurts to breathe, your body feels tingly and sore, and you find yourself crying your eyes out to all of the stupid rumours surrounding yours and your husband’s name. Lewis is focused in fighting for the championship, he can’t be distracted by this type of nonsense, and it’s all because of you.

Your anxiety plays tricks on your mind, making you firmly think about how Lewis didn’t believed your explanation when he asked about George. Maybe he pretended that he believed you, but he doesn’t? What if he suspects that you’re actually cheating on him? You know you would never do that to him, he’s the love of your life, and after six years of a happy and solid marriage, you’re scared that you might lose his trust.

And things keep going downhill. The meds don’t help you sleep at all, they just make your mind feel blank, mixing your anxiety with the weird sensation of not feeling anything at all.

“The media keeps talking shit” - you say to Lewis over the phone, silently crying and praying that he wouldn’t notice it.

“Just ignore it, love. You know that all they do is lie. You’re stronger than that, it’s just some stupid rumours. Don’t worry about it” - he says to you, trying to sound calm but you know he’s in a rush, hearing how his team has called his name some times already. “I have to go, my love. I’ll call you back as soon as I can, okay?” - he ends the call before you can even reply.

Another night goes by and you get no rest at all. Instead, you spend hours scrolling through instagram, twitter, reading comments, rumours, theories. And every single word that you read, goes straight to your heart, straight to your mind, reminding you that maybe you’re not that good. Maybe you’re not deserving of everything you’ve got. Maybe you’re not deserving of your husband, of your career, of all the prizes that you’ve won so far.

Your sobs sound muffled against the pillow, your body lying alone on a cold bed, one that isn’t yours, that doesn’t feel familiar. It’s been a while since you’ve had some sense of familiarity inside of you. You miss your family, your house, your dog, your husband’s embrace, your friends. Every day, you land in a new city, where you don’t know anything, and every night, you lay on a new bed, one where you don’t feel like you belong to.

And you don’t even recognise yourself anymore. The dark bags under your eyes from the lack of sleep, the swollen face from all the crying, your body running on no energy at all - and still, you’re forced to put on a show every night, almost making you feel like you’re not human anymore, like you’re running on gasoline.

Your fans have noticed that you’re not okay, that you’re not as happy, as energetic and excited as you used to be anymore. You know some people worry about you, you worry about yourself too, and at this point, you don’t know what to do anymore to help yourself. It’s ironic how your music has saved so many lives, but you can’t seem to save yourself.

There are a lot of people counting on you, you don’t want to let anyone down. You have your family, your managers, crew, team, fans, band - that just adds more pressure on your shoulders, forcing you to put on a smile on your face and pretend to be okay.

“I love you so much, my love. Good luck at the concert” - you read Lewis’ message before going on stage. Some lies do sound sweet, your mind keeps telling you that Lewis doesn’t trust you anymore, that he’s lying when he says that he loves you.

More pictures of you outside of your hotel end up online, only for people to comment on your physical appearance now.

“Why does she look like a panda? Someone cover those dark bags for her please”

“Is that bloating or is she actually pregnant?”

“Pregnant of who? It’s been a while since her and Lewis have been together”

“Maybe it was that George guy?”

Your head hurts from all the crying, your chest hurts from sobbing so hard. You feel worthless, you just desperately want it all to stop. You want people to shut up, you want the world to stop, the lights to shut down, you don’t want to do any of this anymore.

“Can we cancel tonight’s concert? I don’t feel well” - you say to your manager, hoping you can get a break from the spotlight and the judgement looks.

You get a sigh in response. “Y/N, this is an important festival. We are talking 60 thousand tickets sold, more than 400 thousand impressions that we can get from this show alone. This is a really important one” - he tells you in an impatient manner. You gulp. You can’t let them down, so you try your best to prepare yourself, once again.

You have the afternoon off, and you think that maybe you can take some medicine and try to take a nap, maybe that will make you feel better.

“One pill hasn’t been working, might as well just double the dose and see if it helps” - you innocently think. Two pills in and still, no sleep on your free time.

You toss and turn in bed, tiring your body even more, your mind feeling electric with a million different thoughts.

So you decide to call Lewis before you have to start getting ready for the concert. He picks up the video call, his bright eyes and kind smile in full display on your phone. You immediately feel fragile and small, some tears forming in your eyes as you just smile at him in silence.

“My love, are you crying?” - he worriedly asks. You try to shrug it off, not wanting him to worry about you.

“I just miss you, that’s all” - you half lie. Of course you miss him, but that’s not all. You want to quit this chaotic life, you want to be at peace. You want to actually have some time for yourself, you want to see your family, you want to go back to therapy, you want to feel like yourself again.

Lewis gives you a sympathetic look. “Only four more shows to go until you have some days off, my love. And I’ll meet you in Spain so we can enjoy some time together, just the two of us” - he says cheekily, oh how you love him so dearly.

“I love you, I sincerely love you with all my heart, Lewis” - you say, praying that he sees through you like he always does, so he can see how honest you are.

“I love you even more, my love. You’re my whole heart, beating out of my chest” - he sends you a kiss through the phone, warming your heart a little bit more.

“Are you okay, Y/N?” - your husband asks you, and you know he truly wants to know how you are actually doing lately.

But it’s pointless to explain, no one seems to get it. You know he cares about you, but you don’t want him to worry about the wrong things when he’s so close to wining the championship - you know how that is so important to him.

“I am okay, babe. If I could just get a full night of sleep, everything would be perfect” - you lie. You sense that he doesn’t really believe you, he might have notice that you’ve been more off than usual, but you hope that he shrugs it off. It would be way harder to hide it from him if you were together, and by the phone, everything looks better than it does in reality.

“Maybe you should see a better doctor to talk about your insomnia, my love. A doctor that can actually help you, you know? Since you’ve been taking those pills and they don’t help you at all” - Lewis adds, trying his best to help.

Yeah, maybe. Maybe you should see another doctor, maybe you should call your therapist, maybe you should try and go see a witch - it’s hard to realise what’s the biggest problem right now, while you have so much on your plate. Your life is hectic, nothing brings you joy anymore, you are not in your safe space, you don’t have anyone that cares about you by your side during this difficult time. It’s insane how you are always surrounded by thousands of people every night, and yet, you’ve never felt so alone in your entire life.

Desperation has reached your bones, and if people can’t understand your physical signs, maybe they can understand how much you’re struggling right now, through your songs? So tonight you decided to play a new song that you wrote last week, addressing all the chaos that has been painting your mind and life. You want people to listen to you, to what you actually have to say.

As you sing your heart out to that new melody, begging for someone to help you, to listen to you and to support you, the tears don’t stop falling down your face, illuminating your eyes, filled with darkness and emptiness. Your heart aches, and you see the crowd crying, shocked at what they’re hearing.

You pray that there’s still a string of hope, people might understand your side through your new song, such a personal and raw cry for help - but they don’t. Back at your hotel room, you check what everyone is saying online.

“Omg she’s a genius”

“This is such a hit”

“She needs to release this asap, I am crying she’s so brave”

No one actually understands that this is how you feel now. That you need to stop, you need help. And it’s just another cry for help that gets ignored by everyone.

You give up, your body is running on nothing, you don’t even feel the passion in your veins anymore. You feel beaten up, like everyone has gotten the best of you, there’s nothing you can do anymore, you’re just a puppet in everyone’s hands.

After a day off - spent in bed, crying - you land in Switzerland for the same routine as always.

You feel dizzy, weak - probably because you haven’t eaten much lately either. Your lack of energy is so glaring, that you do most of your shows sitting down already. You don’t have the energy to spend two hours on your feet, you don’t have the energy to dance, to walk through the stage. You can’t even feel your body most of the time now. So it’s fine, you’re going to sit down on your piano and sing, like you do every night.

You feel weird, more than usual. You feel like you’ve been dissociating the entire time today, like your soul is slowly leaving your body. Your crew isn’t helping at all, not caring about your complaints, just encouraging you to get this show over with.

And you get up there, but the bright lights are too much for you, making your eyes sting, your head hurting even more. You manage to go through the first three songs, pushing your body to its limit - there must be a point of no return, after all this.

Your mouth feels dry, and you get up to get some water. Your body feels sore and weak, and it’s like you’re seeing stars for a second, before everything turns pitch black.

No one can really understand what happened, but now you’re being rushed to the nearest hospital, your body lying on the gurney, the sirens ringing as your manager looks at you, passed out, looking so debilitated and pale.

You open your eyes slowly, you don’t know where you are. You look around, and the room feels very odd to you. You look at your hands, seeing some IV’s and needles on your body. You take a breath, blinking a few times, hoping the room would feel more familiar by the second. But it doesn’t. And when people see you waking up, they rush to you.

“Y/N, oh my god! Are you okay? How are you feeling?”

“Thank god you wake up, you blacked out for hours! We were so worried”

A big group of people tells you. Your heart beats faster and faster, you don’t know who they are, but they seem to know you very well. Yet, you feel scared and alone.

“Wh- Who are all of you?” - you ask, afraid of their reaction.

They look at each other’s faces, then look back at you.

“You don’t remember us?” - they ask you, you simply shake your head. And before you could say a word, a team of doctors is rushing to your side, making you a bunch of questions and making you tests and exams.

Lewis is in a meeting with his team when he gets the call from your manager.

“Hello?” - he answers the phone, finding it weird that your manager is calling him.

“Lewis, something really bad happened. Y/N passed out on stage and we rushed her to the hospital, but she doesn’t remember anyone or anything. She lost her memory” - and that’s everything Lewis needs to know before he’s getting up from his chair and leaving his meeting.

“I’ll fly there right now” - he says, hurrying to be at your side as soon as possible.

Lewis is shaking, anxious, confused. He never worried so much about anything in his life as he does about you. And knowing that you’re in the hospital, unable to remember a single thing, rips the air from out of his lungs. He can’t stop his mind now. Could you possibly remember him? Is this just something temporary? Will you actually forget everything and never get your old memories back? What is he going to do?

What if you look at him and don’t feel love inside of your heart anymore? What if the new you, your blank mind decides that he’s the not the one for you? It’s like your demons departed from your body and landed on his, invading his system and immediately corrupting his mind.

And what if you turn into a new person that he doesn’t recognise? What if this accident makes both of you realise that you’re not meant to be together anymore? Lewis’ love for you is stronger than anything else in this world, but now he’s afraid that love would only exist on his end, scared of not receiving that same feeling of belonging from your side. His mind fills with questions and fears, as his body feels incredibly electric with anxiety, making him pick his nails and bounce his legs non-stop to try and shake some of that electricity off his body.

After almost two agonising hours of flying from Hungary to Switzerland, his jet lands, and when he finally gets to the hospital, he decides to speak to your team first. His heart is in his hands as they fill him in on everything that happened, the doctors confirming that you’ve lost your entire memory, leaving you with a blank mind. He prepares himself to walk inside your room, shaking and nervous to see your current state. The thought of you not remembering him at all is like a kick in the stomach.

When he sees you, his heart breaks. The sight of you kills him, looking so down, lying there emotionless, empty, with a scared and fragile look on your face. He takes a few steps towards you, and you turn your face to look at him, locking eyes with Lewis, making him almost fall to his knees at how deep you stare at his features.

“Lewis?” - you say, your voice croaking and tears swelling in your eyes.

[anantaru]

— rejecting his cuddles

including dan heng, jing yuan, gepard, blade x gn! reader

꒰ genre ꒱ — fluff, crack, we‘re evil

— dan heng

"nope!"

you quickly place your hands on top of dan heng‘s chest to swiftly push him away— although tied with an eased and playful shove, your boyfriend was still left baffled and most of all, supremely confused out of his damned mind.

primarily— since when did you ever reject a comforting, cozy cuddle from your pretty man the moment he rushes straight home to come and see you, principally spoil you with all the bundled up physical affection he could possibly channel and provide?

one hundred percent, never. in point of fact was it you instead who would hug him first afresh.

"oh— i‘m sorry." dan heng backs away, as to not cross any boundaries with you. his voice shakes and creaks in the back of his toughened throat. it doesn't take a genius to figure out that he in fact, did not expect to have such a hard time being rejected by you.

"s-so.. uh, yeah."

dan heng corrects himself— or lets work something out to express it differently, at least tries to spell out a follow up sentence because you actually managed to make him speechless, at loss of words with nothing more than arbitrarily prattles bubbling past the tip of his tongue and leaving his lips.

there‘s a punch of cold silence, stolen by a deep sigh from your irritated lover— one might think that dan heng strongly thought about what he had done wrong or if he messed up in some way. yes, the possibility on you playing tricks on him was always there but this time you really put in all your acting skills into this one moment, carving it to almost perfection.

"can— can i ask why?" he nervously whispers, deciding that there, nothing was as gruelling as not receiving a hug from his significant other, "i don't know, can you?" which unbeknownst to him, was playing a devilish play with all expenses falling flat on top of his shoulders.

you smirk, your body moving on its own as you suddenly shelter his body into your frame, "surprise! it's a prank!" and nuzzle yourself into his chest, cheeks flushed on top.

granted, his facial expression was hilarious, but you could only go that far before the man would suffer from a heart attack.

"you're unbelievable." dan heng rolls his eyes while leaning his head into your neck, his nostrils slightly flaring at the pocketed entry of your signature scent welcoming him at last.

"you still love me though."

— jing yuan

to wholly fool someone, precisely form their running thoughts anew, was it wishful thinking or actually possible? what an absorbing charge to partake in, you figured.

but despite that, you were awfully aware that someone as hellishly meticulous and careful to their surroundings such as jing yuan was without question to be an utmost arduous task to accept— yet, who were you to give up so easily?

your heart had been softly pounding with a minuscule increased pace signalizing your nervousness the minute your boyfriend unlocked the door to your shared home. if you had been honest to yourself, the following sequences that would normally happen work as followed— if you didn't decide to be a little evil today, they never change, you greet the man in addition to embracing him in a warm hug, point blank, and jing yuan unreservedly savored such implementing like no other.

the man sought after a soothing embracement all day long, he thinks about it, and when closes his eyes he imagines it too. it's a crucial source of serotonin to him and he requires it each night before passing out into a deep slumber with you by his side.

"i'm home, my love."

your ears point at the all too recognizable voice dotting a comforting timbre into the living room as you silently moved up from your seat to walk towards jing yuan who had made it his own personal duty to part his arms the second he sees you saunter towards him.

"hello, love." you greet him with a smile, your voice had been soft and actually managed to fool him for the short duration of your prank.

but then, "oh, no thank you!" you skillfully dodge his attempt to wrap his arms around you, waving your hand in between the awkward space of your bodies, shaking your head.

"excuse.. excuse me?" that's a little less confident than how jing yuan would for the most part articulate himself— to underscore his brilliant irritation, he cocks up a brow in disbelief.

but he's cautious, your darling— so don't be fooled, the man had a sharp and blazing eye on remote sections that might go unnoticed to other people, to the innocent faces and crowds, it was jing yuan who was keeping the control interlaced in the palm of his hand.

"hmm?"

you play the guiltless, in the clear significant other a little too well and you applaud yourself for your very own performance— at this rate it makes you wonder if you should have actually pursued a career in acting after all.

while your boyfriend was now feeling a sense of dread in his joints and limbs, the color of his eyes had gotten hidden by a dusty darkness.

"ah, i understand." he smiles, but the way he approaches you was almost tactical, and that grin on his face— on the outside, modest and upright while on the inside, it concealed a bristling confidence that yes, figuring you out was easier than he thought.

"that's okay." jing yuan walks past you, slow, each step echoing and slipping past your ears, his hand too, was listlessly tapping your shoulder once twice, as he made you turn around to face him again.

"i do not need it anymore." huh, for him to not even utter a single complaint, something, anything would do, really.

your lips pucker into a pout when you realized it‘s over, when you noticed that your boyfriend was getting way better at this, as if he had you wholly figured out from the very start— did you never stand a chance to fool him to begin with?

"ugh." you cross your arms around your body, "you knew from the start, didn‘t you?"

"of course i did, love." he breathes his words featherlight, but his smile stays strong regardless.

"i always do."

— gepard

in the beginning of your comical scheme, gepard was convinced you didn‘t want to hug him because he had just returned from training the new recruits of the silvermane guards and fair enough— he didn‘t have the chance to take a shower prior to returning to you.

yet, keep in mind, in any other instances you did not care about said fact, more so was it you who‘d practically hug him for hours on end and pepper him with kisses all over. being the mighty captain of the silvermane guards of beleborg not unexpectedly came with a tightly shut package of both it‘s very own positives and jarring negatives.

while the positives would greatly outweigh the stormy negatives by a tenfold, having limited free time to spend on each other would sometimes be a strenuous obstacle you can only manage together, as a team.

"i can shower right away." gepard panics, he didn't think it was possible for his body to sweat even more than earlier when he fought against the new recruits and your poor boyfriend curses himself underneath the warm racks of his fastened breathing on why he didn't manage to be in the bestest shape for you tonight.

he adds on, "don‘t move, i‘ll be right back!"

the sides of your mouth twitch in an amusing snort and you carry on to gnaw down on your bottom lip to suppress yet another wave of laughter, "oh, i think you‘re misunderstanding me." and step back just a little bit more to accentuate your evil plan and push your boyfriend over the edge for good.

"i don‘t want to hug you tonight." you raise your brows while scratching the back of your neck.

this sentence alone was like a sharp stab into the blonde's heart as he sets his eyes to meet your own.

"like at all." and you finish him off with an indirect blow right against his handsome features, "at— at all?"

if you were aware of one thing, it was that gepard never wasted any time to talk things out with you— basically being transparent and working together, "okay, baby'" he pauses, "listen to me." and almost squeals in sadness, placing both hands on top of your shoulders.

"if you're still sad i had to cancel our dinner the other time, i can try to figure something out—"

how adorable, you realise.

pinching his cheeks with your fingers, you smile, a shadow of intense guilt poking on your heart, "i’m sorry!" you yell, "everything is fine, i‘m sorry." and abruptly lean into his warm body, arms crossed around his chest as you sensed the upping beat of his heart underneath his ribcage.

gepard couldn’t believe you this time, truly, and lets his eyes fall close before sighing out— in relief but also a slight bit of annoyance written across the rest of his heavenly features.

"i‘ll get back at you for this."

— blade

"hmm, you sure darling?" he acts innocent that's for certain but blade’s next look on you, fuck, if you didn‘t know any better you would've sternly stated that it entirely formed into a menacing demeanor— stone cold and fierce as you felt it wash over your trembling skin.

a followed sharp click of his tongue against the roof of his mouth is all it took for you to whole-heartedly regret and loathe even considering to work out a prank against your boyfriend, at all.

"yes, i pass."

notwithstanding, you couldn‘t back away now, quite obviously would it blow up in your face with you becoming the pranked one instead. at this graven point the entire situation had already been in great favor of blade instead of you— the most plausible solution would be to somehow make it out as a winner regardless while your lover thoroughly found delight in engaging in those games with you.

"what a shame." he sighs and tilts his head to the right— pending his eyes from your lips to your legs and up, then approaching you a step closer so your cheeks could immediately sense his warm breathing.

"and here i thought my significant other actually liked me." and slowly whispers his finishing line against the shell of your ear while idly leaving it to his gravelly voice to place a shivering thunder-like sensation on your skin, in this cold your body welcomed the flames of your flustering frame, the furnacing warmth and the fuel this man was capable to inflict on you was ridiculous, but so did you work wonders on his psyche.

you knew your boyfriend, entirely— his sweet perceptions, his personal views and his virtually scary attention to detail for bodily responses of his usual targets.

"ugh, cut the crap blade." you roll your eyes at him playfully, laughing out a frustrated heave with a deep scowl on your lips.

"me?" blade dramatically places his hand on top of his chest, his mesmerizing eyes growing at the size of saucers, what a pain in the neck, literally.

"yes you."

despite everything, you, with the kindness of your heart, attempted to silently move forward to cuddle him, practically leaving your failed prank in the past while blade, in his radiating confidence, was swift to dodge you.

"no thanks." blade says sternly, "i‘m rejecting this hug."

how unwelcomely, indecently, annoyingly typical for your boyfriend to turn this entire malfunctioning situation upside down and play it into his very own favor.

if only he wasn‘t so breathtakingly handsome when he greeted you and presented his confidence so tastefully, smiled so prettily at you too, his shining whites and canines poking from under his lips and greatly accentuating the rest of his bewitching features while his large hands slowly ran up and down your shaking arms.

"tsk." you avert your gaze, not being certain if you're more embarrassed that you lost or that he beat you so effortlessly too, "you‘re unbelievable blade."

okay, hold on— even though you started this game, now witnessing it in a different perspective on how it would‘ve played out the other way around was a little frustrating, to say the least— while you also made sure that you‘re calling yourself out for that sprinkle bit of hypocrisy climbing up on you.

"i‘m unbelievably funny." he drawls back at you with a wink and kisses your forehead playfully— then your nose, which he found adorable and lastly your cheeks before gently trapping your chin in between his thumb and pointer finger to make you look at him, "and i have to put you in your place sometimes, you know?"

as he at last, conveniently pulls you into a warm hug, both smiling and laughing into the comfort of the situation.

2023 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify

[prettynice8]

Kinkmas Day 9: Cock Warming

Ni-ki aka Nishimura Riki x male reader

This guy

Stuff: Cock warming DUH, kissing, anal fingering, fluff, no actual fucking, established relationship.

Word Count: 761

Notes: Happy Birthday Ni-ki!!!

Ni-ki is your perfect boyfriend. He loves you more than anything, he's always there for you, and he is just the sweetest thing, he's also really hot and the sex is amazing, but you love him more than just that, crazy.

As of now, you and Ni-ki are making out on the couch, his hands gripping your ass as you moan lightly into his lips, allowing him to shove his tongue down your mouth and into your throat, making it dance along with your own.

You pull away for a quick second just to say, "Ni-ki, I love you." Your eyes were filled with adoration and sincerity as you said the words you've said thousands of times before, and you mean it every time.

"I love you too Y/n, now let me show you." He replied by calling his lips with yours again, going back into the gentle but passionate kissing.

His soft lips felt amazing against yours, there would be times where you two just make out for hours, no fucking necessary, lost in the bliss you two find within each other's lips, and this time is no different.

You two have been making out for that past half hour and have no plans on stopping. The feeling of his lips on yours is just too good to escape, like a force always pulling you in whenever you think you should pull away.

His hands dip down to tug at the waistband of your pants, making your gasp but follow his silent request, getting away with your pants until your lower half is completely bare, all the while still making out with him. Ni-ki does the same with his own pants, doing away with them while still keeping your lips connected.

Once you're both bare from the waist down, Ni-ki gently puts two fingers into your anus, making your gasp and lightly moan into his lips at the sudden intrusion. He begins to slowly pump his fingers in and out of your hole, making you moan louder into his lips.

After he's decided that you're prepared enough, he takes his fingers out, making your whine in complaint at the empty feeling. Those complaints soon dissipate when he slowly sets you down on your cock, your whines of feeling empty now turning into whines of pleasure with a touch of discomfort.

"So good..." You moan out, kissing his neck as he lowers you onto his cock, bottoming out.

You start to bounce but to your surprise, you can't, the reason you can't is because Ni-ki's hands lay tightly on your hips, forbidding any movement.

"What are you doing? Don't you want to fuck?" You asked, confused on why he isn't letting you bounce on his cock.

"Nah." He answered plainly, his hands gripping tightly to your hips, stopping the grinding movement you're trying to pull off. "I just want you to stay here, like this." He gives you a gentle smile as he says this, making your confusion, frustration, and hips fall as you settle down, cuddling up to him as you realize the situation.

"I see... you just wanted to cock warm..." You said to Ni-ki, giving him a gentle kiss.

"Yeah, sure, cock warming." He responded, tightening his arms around your waist and pulling you in closer while his stiff cock was buried inside you. "I love you..." He said sweetly, kissing your head.

You return his gentle smile, going back up to kiss his lips, undoing the pause in the make out session. He quickly kisses back; his hands shift from around your waist to one resting on hip while the other goes to your cheek, gently cupping it as he deepens the kiss.

The kissing is enough to make you dizzy from filling your brain with pure serotonin, while his cock being buried in your ass, making you two all the closer and making the 'embrace' mean so much more adds the dopamine.

Ni-ki whispers little 'I love yous' into your lips over and over again, the sweet embrace you two are currently sharing making his love for you even bigger, the space in his heart that only you occupy grows within him.

After another hour or so of making out, his cock buried in your ass the whole while, you fall asleep. Your eyes are closed, your head laying on his chest, your lips swollen from the long extended make out period, and his cock still buried in your ass.

"I love you." Ni-ki said, kissing your head before joining you in the deep slumber.

THE END

HAPPY B DAY NI-KI!!!!!!!!!!

[puffycinnabunny]

How to cope with a bad grade (or a grade worse than your expectations)

Hello hello,

Cinna here! I am a third-year neural science major, so, needless to say, I had my share of academic failures. I am sure there are some people who managed to finish college with perfect grades, but, trust me, there aren't as many as you think. It's human to make mistakes! But it's also OK to be upset about your mistakes. Your value is not determined by your grades! Regardless, here are some tips and tricks to get things going after a big whoopsie daisy.

Give yourself some time to process: Does this mean crying? maybe. Blankly staring at a wall? Also possible. Let it sink in. This step can take a long time, don't feel guilty about the time spent. As I said, grades don't define you, and it is not the end of the world. BUT your feelings are valid! You are allowed to feel upset or even disappointed. Give yourself some time to do that but don't let your feelings about the situation define your feelings about yourself <3

Get a treat: Yeah yeah, so you messed up. But I usually allow myself some escapism before getting back on track. Watch an episode you have been waiting to watch after the exams. Get a cookie. Take a nap. Do SOMETHING that makes you secrete some serotonin.

Check your exam: Make sure to learn what you got wrong. It may feel like it is too late now, but it is NOT! Go speak to your TA or professor and learn what went wrong and why. This might be very valuable for the next exams! It also allows the teaching staff to see you are TRYING to improve. This can be a game changer for the final grade when they consider performance grades or if you ask for a recommendation letter.

Game plan: It happened. You faced it, you asked for help, and now it's time to plan how to improve. You don't have to follow each and every step but sketch out things to review and when. This will make you state your intention. Sometimes declaring you are gonna do something is more powerful than you think. It will also help you feel less overwhelmed when you are studying for the next exams.

The redemption arc: Be easy on yourself. A healthy amount of regret can push you forward, but don't let it burn you out. This is a marathon! If you are a stem student like me, chances are you have MANY midterms (too many, absolutely too many). This means you have your chance to fix this. Remember you haven't lost until you stop trying. Go ask for help from your friends. If they are at the same level of knowledge you can cross-examine the content to see if you are missing something. Trying to teach the content also helps you organize it better in your head which helps the learning process. If you are a lone wolf and don't like studying with others, try speaking to yourself aloud (it's not crazy behavior, sush). Stay hydrated and have healthy snacks around! Be consistent and hopeful. I'm sure things will go better during the next midterms. And if not, the other midterms. And if not, the other... midterms... GOd I have too many midterms...

I believe in you, buddy. You got this! Take some chubby pigeons that I found cute as a motivator (they believe in you too).

[celestie0]

hi friends, i won’t be posting or updating any of my works for an indefinite period n will be on hiatus from this blog as well.

i’ve unlisted kickoff & ihm on ao3 (haven’t deleted, they’ve just been made private) and i’ve unpinned my masterlist here on tumblr (again nothing’s been deleted so you could probably find the chapters if you searched my tags)

but the reason i did that is because i don’t want any new readers finding my works during my hiatus because i don’t want to potentially upset more people in the event that, during this hiatus, i decide that i would no longer like to write my fics

that would be an insanely sad decision to make. i put so much thought into my stories not because i am trying to make them entertaining, but it’s because they genuinely mean so much to me and are cathartic in ways i can’t describe. i have spent a great majority of my life self negating for the sake of others, and so writing was just a form of expression where i could talk about all the things i’ve suppressed over the years - anxiety, career stress, financial stress, avoidance, depression, loss, coming of age, navigating love, etc

but lately, and i do think it’s been a build up of just some careless words from a handful of people over the months, i find myself steering towards a practice of writing that is no longer asking the question “how can i put as much of myself in this piece as possible?” but rather “how can i make sure people won’t criticize this…i feel awful that it doesn’t have what they want it to have…other creators are doing xyz, should i be doing that too?…i’m just scared to share this”

not exactly sure when that shift in headspace began, but as of right now, it’s as strong as ever. and i understand that those questions may seem irrational, and i just have to try to not focus on the feeling, n i wish i was someone that could compartmentalize those thoughts better, but here’s the thing — the whole reason i started expressing myself through writing in the first place was because i’ve spent my whole life compartmentalizing. it would feel so ironic & untrue to the lessons i’ve learned in this journey if i just chose to “suck this up” and continue pushing forward until i reach a point of burnout simply because i don’t want to upset anyone

i’m really sorry i couldn’t focus on the positive. especially with all the insane n incredible amount of love n support i’ve received for my works. i’ve said this time n time again but when i started posting kickoff to ao3 back in january of this year, i had NO idea it would be this loved by so many people…i was like ok can’t wait to interact w these four readers for the rest of the year…and then BAM, i find myself fully sobbing after each chapter update because i was so touched by all the sweet n kind words. i don’t want this decision to come off in a way that makes it seems like i don’t love u guys sm or that i’m ungrateful — i’ve always taken pride in respecting my audience. even for a simple hobby, i try to put effort into my works. i proofread, i plan out, i edit in length, all because i am, well, for one, i’m a bit of a perfectionist LOL but also i think there’s a great deal of honor in respecting an audience that gives you their time n attention

but i already am struggling in my life to focus on the positive. medicine has been such an incredibly daunting career to pursue, i’m honestly only doing slightly better now because i’m just filled with relief that i got into med school to begin with lol it’s still surreal to me, so the stress has been kinda manageable so far on that sense of optimism, but dear god the shit i went through to get here…and the shit i know i still face ahead of me. i spend all of my serotonin on trying to stay positive in the face of my responsibilities. so all of this time i’ve spent trying to stay positive for the sake of my stories too has just left me with so much exhaustion — i just don’t see why posting my works should be anything less than fun and endlessly exciting when it’s a hobby that’s supposed to help me thru the actual brunt of life.

anyways, i’m getting a little carried away here. all this to say, i just need to take time away from posting my works so i can see writing as something for myself n not for others again. i don’t want the thoughts swimming in my head to be thoughts of anxiety over people potentially criticizing me n my creative decisions. i want the thoughts in my head to once again be positive, excited, and nurturing towards my stories. i don’t see how i can accomplish that at this point unless i start writing for myself once more, and not for others

i still have a great deal of passion to write, which is why i haven’t formally taken down my works. i anticipate that i may be able to come back in the future to share my writing again. but as of right now, i just want to heal the relationship that i have with this hobby, and i feel like that’s gotta happen in private (lmfao it sounds like im tryna freak my writing)

i’m sorry that i turned off my asks n my replies, i know so many of u care about me n want to support me n i just am beyond thankful. i don’t anticipate this is a forever goodbye, but i do just need some time rn away from all of this.

hope u all have a happy time!! and take care of yourselves :) much love

- ellie

[d0youc0py]

So, i've read through a lot of your stuff, and its giving me instant serotonin, and i already love your writing, I also have a rather interesting ask, and you can completely ignore it if you wish to, but!- TF141 + Alejandro and Rudy learning that the new addition to their team is a bit younger than them(around 17-19), and a bouncy ball of ditzy airheaded-ness, and actually sees a them as Brother/Father figures? A little bit of a comfort for those, and myself included, who have platonic attachments to these badass men!

Your relationship with Price comes the most natural. He has always had an overwhelming desire to nurture and mentor those who are close to him- or those that he believes could become close to him. Considering he recruited you, he definitely saw you as one of those lucky few. You are a bit of a mess, needing some serious fine tuning, but you have an obvious want to learn and you soak up every bit of information he shares with you. He sees a lot of himself in you. He was only 16 when he joined the military and he wished he had a mentor to guide him and teach him so he didn’t have to learn from his mistakes, (not that he would’ve listened).

He was also the gateway to getting the other TF members to trust you- especially Ghost.

There is a lot of uncertainty in your job, but one thing you can always count on is that Caps got your back. You need a place to crash on deployment? He has a guest room. You need life advice? He feels like he hasn’t done anything right- but he’s been through enough things to know a thing or two. You had a nightmare? He office door is always open.

He’s a bit over meeting new people. And he lets you know that. For a long time he saw you as a reckless pain in the butt- a risk. You were a powerhouse on the field, yet you lacked that certain refinement. It wasn’t till he saw you and Price during a training. The Captain had your full attention and he saw an eagerness to learn that he hadn’t seen for a long time. He decided to give you a shot, throwing out tidbits of wisdom to see how you would respond. It would always surprise him when you not only listened but implemented what he had told you.

It was like a switch had flipped in his brain and he became the older brother that he had always so desperately tried to push down. He knows all your little quirks. What gets you fired up. What calms you down. He’s incredibly observant and it feels like he knows what you need before you do.

“Keep sleeping, I’ll cover your watch.”

“If you forget your MRE one more time.” He huffed taking out the said MRE you forgot out of his bag.

He’s the definition of tough love. His toughness keeps you grounded and on track. His loving side makes sure you are always taken care of (even though he wants to strangle you daily) and the first time you introduce him as “your brother” he nearly had to excuse himself to dry his eyes.

You’d think that the two of you would be partners in crime. Running around, causing trouble, giving everyone a headache. While the two of you do have your moments, Soap understands his responsibility as not only the elder, but the ranking officer in your relationship. Outside of the work the two of you are as thick as thieves, but out on the field it a whole different story. He’s serious, taking his self appointed job as your mentor to heart. This is the first time he’s taken someone under his wing and he is not going to screw it up. He teaches you as much as he can, as much as you need to not only be safe but successful.

The change is a shock to the TF at first, but they admire the way Soap “ages up” and it inspires them to do the same.

He doesn’t treat himself of your “mentor” or “elder” he treat you as though you two are equals. He treats you with respect and never talks down to you and he makes sure everyone else does the same.

The two of you hit it off instantly. Snarky comments are constantly flying back and forth between the comms and despite their better judgment the rest of the TF can just fight back a chuckle. He teases you relentlessly (out of love). All you have to do is make one slip up and this man will never let you forget it. But he also makes sure that if he can dish it out, he can take it too. This results in the two of you laughing hysterically, doing your best impersonations of each other. After long missions the two of you can often be found on the couch fighting over a blanket, watching your favorite comfort movies. You really are the sibling he never knew he needed.

Like Price he sees a lot of himself in you. You have drive. You do have a tendency to be a little too aloof for your own good, but it’s nothing he can’t handle. He embraced you with open arms and makes you feel like you’ve been family for decades. He’s hard on you and demanding, but it’s just because he knows what you are capable of. He understands the trust you place in him and will do everything in his power to live up to the image you have of him in your head.

You have a permanent room in his house. He always makes sure to have the ingredients to your favorite dish on hand just in case you had a hard day. He makes sure all of your trainings are up to date so you have every opportunity to make it out alive. You are so important to him and he never lets you forget it.

He’s wary of you at first. Even after Alejandro welcomed you with open arms. He saw you as a flight risk and he didn’t want to end up dead because of it. It wasn’t until one night you confessed how much you looked up to him- how you wanted to be like him.

He had misjudged you, and he apologized for it. He made up for lost time by going out of his way to be extra kind to you until it just turned into a habit. You and Alejandro both wear him out, he wouldn’t trade either of you for the world. He’s the voice of reason when you get ahead of yourself and he’s always the one who slows down and explains things to you when you find yourself lost. His patience seems almost endless and you thank his everyday for it.

Thank you for your kind words! Hope you liked this.

[taesanluv3r]

build-a-bear.

kim woonhak x reader

idol! woonhak x non-idol! reader, established relationship. based on this woonhak scenario i wrote a while back!! cuss words, first i love yous. lowercase intended. pls excuse any spelling mistakes or grammatical errors. enjoyy <3

wc: 3,324

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

"fine then." - "fine!"

those were the last two words kim woonhak and yn ln had spoken to each other before she had slammed her front door shut on his face, before he had angrily turned around and begun walking towards the exit of her apartment building, before she had shut her blinds and stuffed her head deep into her white sheets, staining the fabric with silly little tears.

they didn't want to fight. in fact, the young couple rarely ever did so in the first place. however, with the newly debuted idol boy's rising fame, and the girl's growing insecurities, it was almost inevitable this one particular argument was going to come up onto the surface of their otherwise wholesome relationship.

you see, yn and woonhak have known each other for ages now. when he first started showing signs of his dream career, she was the first to support him- heck! she even came to all the auditions with him and gave him endless moral support. similarly, he was always there for her, accompanying her when she had to study late for an exam, or even sending her chocolates and other sweets when it was that time of the month. the pair have mutually liked each other forever, and they both knew that as well. it didn't take them long at all before they started officially dating, sharing one awkward kiss under the moonlight before he left again to the next city over to start the preparations for his coming debut.

from then on, she started seeing him less and less. their daily conversations on the phone had become simple good night and good morning texts that don't really give her much of a serotonin boost anymore. she missed him, and she always let him know. he missed her too, he just didn't have the time to tell her. she'd complain about it, "you don't have time for me anymore, huh?" and he'd furrow his eyebrows, "i have a job to do, yn. i thought you supported me the most?" then she'd gasp, taken aback by his words, her own eyebrows knitting together and her eyes almost glowing red in anger. for a second, she saw the way his eyes watered, like he knew he was wrong. but kim woonhak was stubborn, quickly shaking away that look and mimicking her own furious one. and that's how it happened. that's how they ended up in this battle of silence, secretly waiting for the other to break and end this cold war they didn't even want in the first place.

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

woonhak sighs as he finally takes off his shoes. schedules ended earlier and the boy still had practically the whole day to do whatever he wanted. he watched as his members went their own ways, leehan and riwoo heading to some cafe, taesan locking himself up in his studio as per usual, sungho going out to see a movie, and jaehyun...sitting on the couch in the middle of a very serious fifa game.

"so where you headed, broski?" jaehyun suddenly asks the boy, still not looking away from the TV screen. "going to see your girlfriend? or are you still not talking to her like an idiot?" he snickered, earning a big eye roll and middle finger directed at his face from the younger boy. "i don't know hyung...i mean i obviously want to see her...but i'm not sure how she'll forgive me when i've been such an asshole" woonhak says, slumping himself down on the spot beside the older member. "just...ah-!" jae cut himself off when he misses a goal in the video game, "just go get her a gift or something- don't girls like that stuff?" once again the younger one rolls his eyes, but he nods at his leader's suggestion. "i guess you're right hyung...i'm gonna go to the mall and find something" and with that the kim boy gets up, slipping back on his shoes and grabbing himself a cap to cover up his messy hair before running out the door and down the building to call himself a taxi.

woonhak arrives at the mall, dragging his feet solemnly as he passed by multiple young couples on dates. "seriously...it's not even valentine's day...why is everyone out on a date here right now?!" he grumbled to himself, probably looking like a big ol' loser to the outside eyes that felt like they lingered on him as he walked. the boy circles the mall for what he swore were hours but he found nothing at all that was worthy enough to gift his angry girlfriend. "ugh..." the boy groans as he's one step closer to giving up and just meeting with her empty handed like the idiot that everyone kept saying he was. however, all those doubts immediately exited his head when a familiar large sign appears in his line of sight. it's bright yellow with a giant brown bear and beside it in big blue lettering, it read:

build-a-bear workshop.

"perfect!" he almost said too loudly as his eyes gleamed and began to sparkle. in the moment it seemed as though a big bright light-bulb had gone off in his head, his large feet padding against the floor and taking him into the kid's doll factory. the boy's eyes were wide and his mouth hung opened as he took in his surroundings. a huge variety of stuffed animals, in all kinds of shapes, sizes, and designs stood against every corner of the shop. on high shelves, rows and rows of clothes, all perfectly tailored to fit the standard plush toy size.

woonhak didn't know where to start. the loud speakers that played recent k-pop hits, mixed with the sound of little kids running around and dragging their parents in and out of the store made his ears ring and head hurt a little. his finger grazed against the wood as he scanned through every skin you could pick for your toy, there were cats, dogs, even moths! but one thing in particular caught the boy's attention. right there in the very corner of the store, just a simple brown bear. there was only one left in stock and it was just perfect. it's fur was light brown, it's legs were slightly longer than it should be, and it had the sweetest set of little dark brown orbs for eyes. even if he tried to, woonhak couldn't deny the fact that the teddy was nearly the spitting image of himself.

"okay, now rub the heart against your chest, hold it in your palms and give it your best wishes!" the tall guy's cheeks turn bright red as he follows the bear stuff-er's instructions, praying to god no one recognized him beneath his cap and beginning to regret doing all of this in the first place. it was all over in a second though, the bear being all stuffed up, it's heart and a little recording he did all wrapped up warmly inside it's cotton flesh. now it was time to dress it. woonhak hasn't really had any experience dressing anyone but himself, so it was really hard for him to not dress the plush toy like it had just raided his own closet. and so, naturally, the boy chooses a light blue jersey and a miniature pair of denim jeans, a cute pair of black sunglasses as an add-on accessory to it's look as well.

"now, all that's left to do is to name it...but what..." he mumbles to himself, tapping his fingers against the surface of the table that was much much shorter than him. "hey mister" a squeaky voice, and the feeling of his sweatshirt getting tugged down shakes him out of his thoughts. "huh?" he asked, looking down to meet eyes with a little girl. "mister, that doll looks just like you!" her eyes disappeared as she smiled- well, if you could even see them under her thick bangs that messily decorated her forehead, and she shot him a toothy grin. "me?" the boy asks, beginning to smile too at the sweet girl. "mhm!" she says finally before running away. "great..." he says, smiling proudly at himself as he begins to type out the teddy's name for it's birth certificate.

"there you go, have a nice day and come again soon!" woonhak nods, thanking the cashier before leaving the store. "like hell i'm going in there again..." he whispers to himself, the image of his own self awkwardly pressing kisses onto a miniature plastic heart in the middle of a kid's store flashing in his head as he began to walk out of the mall and into a cab. he's on his way back to the dorm now, trying his best to stuff the build-a-bear box in his large tote-bag so that his group members wouldn't see it. cause if they ever did, he'd never ever hear the end of it. woonhak throws his shoes off on the rack, quickly making his way over to his bedroom and trying his best to avoid his hyungs that were playing together in the living area. "so, what you got there, woonagi~?" leehan called out from the bean-bag on the floor. "yeah bro, show us what you got for your girl~friend~" taesan follows, dragging out his words teasingly. "it's nothing, leave me alone! and DON'T come in the room" the tall maknae boy says sternly, narrowing his eyes at the others who just stifled in their laughs and nodded.

the kim guy can't help but giggle like a child as he pulls out the doll, sighing once as he places it and it's papers into a different bag; a gift bag he had picked up before leaving the mall, it was pink and just the right size to fit the rather beefy bear. "now...the hard part" he sighs once more as he picks up his phone, his chatroom with her vacant, no new messages since their argument the other day. it felt foreign, unusual for he always had new messages from her. the boy takes a deep breath, fingers tapping softly against the screen of his phone as he began to type. it takes him a while though, coming up with a sentence and then deleting it all and starting again and again, until finally, he pressed send.

i know u hate me rn but i literally cant function without u pls meet me at the park tonight let me make it up to u please?

the boy doesn't expect her to open his texts so fast, he finds himself twirling his lips against his teeth as he watches the way three dots begin to bounce up and down on her side of the chatroom. he doesn't even realize he's holding his breath until her response causes him to let it all out. it's simple, dry, still unlike her, but at least it's something.

my love<3 ok, see u in 5.

"bye guys wish me luck" woonhak calls out as he rushes out the door, the sound of his confused (but supportive) members growing faint as the door closes behind him.

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

by the time the boy gets to the park she was already there. yn ln, sitting patiently against the green grass. her hair fell loose against the skin of her arms, he could see from where he stood afar the way the breeze sent a shiver down her spine. "how long have you been waiting?" he asks, finally sitting down beside her. "not long" yn's words are cold, much like the atmosphere of the night. and her eyes stayed glued towards the distance, juxtaposing the way his ones remained fixed onto her.

"please look at me" woonhak practically begs, not really knowing when or how his voice got so small. the girl's breath hitches, tears threating to spill out of her eyes as she lets out a sigh and closes them shut. "yn..." he drags out, a shaky hand reaching over to turn her head to face his. "please?" he asks again. this time, she opens her eyes, tearing up slightly at the very sight of him. she couldn't do it anymore. she can't sit there and pretend to hate him, pretend to be angry at him, pretend she didn't miss him. she can't lie anymore. "woonhak" she says, her voice warmer now and a hint of content laced in the way that she spoke. "hey" he said, a smile beginning to grow against his face. "hey" she repeated, her own lips flipping up as well.

"i'm so sorry" the boy says, scooting to sit closer to her. "why? i should be the sorry one, i was being inconsiderate and-" the girl couldn't finish. "no! i was being selfish. this whole idol thing...it's so busy but that doesn't mean i get to be a total asshole about it to you...so, i'm sorry, yn" the features on her face soften as she looks into the genuine sorrow in his own. she lets out a laugh, confusing the boy a little. "don't worry...i get it. i guess i just...missed you, a little, that's all" yn reasons, a sweet smile tugging at her mouth as she slowly leans her head against his shoulder. woonhak reacts almost immediately, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her deep into his embrace. "i...i missed you too"

"what's in the bag?"

the boy sits up straight when her question slips into his ears. "ah! this...this is just a gift i got you...um...here!" he stutters a bit, suddenly flustered by his own romantic gesture. "for me?!" she gasps and he nods, scratching the back of his head, though there was nothing itchy about it at all. "wow...rising rookie idol kim woonhak of boynextdoor bought little ol' me a gift?!" now he rolls his eyes, as if he were telling his girlfriend to shut up and open it already.

"what is it...?" yn mumbles just above a whisper, carefully opening up the ribbon and revealing the insides of the pink paper bag. her mouth drops open as she pulls the bear out, squealing all too loudly as her eyes adored the jersey-wearing teddy bear in her hands. "ah! i love it i love it!" she cheered, wrapping the doll in her arms and hugging it so tight it might just explode. her eyes gleamed, looking up at her boyfriend then back at the bear and then right back at him again. "where's the birth certificate thingy...wait" yn spoke, looking back in the bag for the printed piece of paper. "hah!" she exclaimed, her smile reaching her eyes as she read through her doll's information. "birth name...kim unak...how...fitting" she said, shooting her boyfriend a look of slight disbelief he would name a doll after himself. "hey! don't look at me like that, some kid said he looked like me!" woonhak argued, grabbing the bear and holding it up beside his face. "hm...the kid was so right" yn replied, finding the resemblance quite cute.

"thank you woonhak, i love it..." her loving expression as she patted a hand against the fur of the stuffed toy's head was enough to satisfy the boy for the rest of his life. "oh! and...um...if you ever miss me when i'm busy...just press on his hand- but not right now! it's embarrassing! do it later!" he panics, sighing in relief when she moves her hand away from the heart-shaped patch on the bear's one. "okay then..."

the rest of the night was spent in peace. just a couple of sweet teens finding comfort in each other's arms after being separated from each other for far too long (it's been like two days pls don't be dramatic). "and so then i told professor yang about it and he totally freaked and...are you even listening to me?" yn stops mid-story, her head that laid on his lap shifting slightly to get a better look at his face. the face that stayed still staring at her blankly, his large hand mindlessly stroking her hair as she talked about whatever it was that he didn't really seem to be listening to well enough. "hello? woonhak?" he shook his head, "huh? what? sorry...i got kind of distracted" she chuckles, rolling her eyes playfully as she sits back up. "am i distracting you with my beauty again?" yn teases, loving the way his cheeks grow red and his hands fly up to cover his face. she giggles, pushing the boy down on his shoulders, sending him toppling on his back onto the grass.

she hovers over him, moving his hands away so she could see him clearly against the bright moonlight. the boy smiles softly at her, reaching up to push her hair behind her ears. his hand lingers, moving to cup at her blushy cheeks. yn giggles, finding his touch ticklish against her skin. "yn..." he begins, voice rather raspy from the way he fully laid down on the ground. "mhm?" she hums, head tilting to the side in curiosity as her boyfriend sat up again.

"i love you"

his voice was clear now, not a single bit of shakiness or fear in the way that he spoke. she smiled, not even a little bit shocked from the words that came out of his mouth because she knew. she knew all along that he felt that way, and she knew that she had always felt the same way for him too, she had just been waiting for the right moment where one of them would say it out loud first. yn presses a hand on either side of his warm complexion, pulling him in for a short kiss. it was sweet, a honey flavour from her lip-balm seeping onto his tongue. then they parted, hands still holding onto each other's faces and she smiles, he's grinning with all his teeth showing.

"i love you too, woonhak"

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

later that night when yn ln got home, she hastily kicked off her shoes and ran straight to her bedroom. she didn't even care to properly put away her bag and her coat, jumping straight onto her bed and pulling out the brown teddy her boyfriend had gifted her earlier.

"...if you ever miss me when i'm busy...just press on his hand" his words replayed in her mind, "press on his hand..." she whispered to herself, carefully gripping onto the stuffed toy's hand, putting just enough pressure on it until she heard a click of a button. a moment of silence engulfed the atmosphere around her, just a moment before woonhak's voice began to sing out of the cheapest sounding speaker located within the bear.

"Mm mm 지금 내 playlist...금요일에 시간 어때요? 내 새벽을 망치지 마요..."

his own song, his debut song. he sang it just for her. her own serenade to listen to whenever they couldn't meet...

aw, rising rookie idol kim woonhak from boynextdoor...what a sweetheart, you are <3

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

"i'm home! hyung...? what are you guys laughing about?" woonhak furrows his eyebrows as he walks towards the living room. riwoo sighs, calming down from his fit of laughter. "so...did she like the build-a-bear?" he asked, breaking into hysterics once again, as did the others. "huh? WHAT HOW'D YOU FIND OUT?" the maknae boy couldn't believe his ears, eyes widening and mouth dropping opened. "woonhak...it's all over the internet!" sungho exclaims, turning his phone over to show him the source of all their laughter right now.

"what...oh my god" the boy's whole body grows a ripe-tomato-shade of red. there, on the older member's screen, a fan-taken video of him at the build-a-bear store, the cap on his head failing to hide the obvious embarrassment on his face as he stands near the stuffing machine of the store, awkwardly wishing his newly stuffed teddy a good life and rubbing it's plastic heart within his palms.

at least his girlfriend's reaction was worth it...cause there's no fucking way his hyungs are ever gonna let this one go...EVER!

the end.

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

i feel like this sucked but it's cute idk idk idk i just want loverboy woonhak so soososososo badly hes so sweet :( i locve him im crying while typing this btw hope u enjoyed TT reblogs n feedbacks r soso appreciated i love u guys so much. love, kona. MWAHHHH