#this girl deserves a day off and jar of Nutella

[dreamer213]

Broken machines: Lights The Dark

Chapter 1 Lovely Day

Italicized: Narration

Bold: Inner Thoughts

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Staring at the foot of Pyrrha Nikos I am broken and helpless. I can not move, I can not hear anything, half of my body has been torn off and is laying a foot away from the rest of me, and my vision is fading.

My systems, my strength, even my voice are…failing.

EVERYTHING IS FAILING! ITS SO DARK! I CANT SEE ANYTHING! I CANT GET UP! MY LEGS! I CANT MOVE! I CANT! I CANT! GENERAL! DAD! ANYONE! SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME!

This is horrible. I feel like I still being crushed. I feel-I feel… Scared? It this what scared feels like? Or is it….. death? Am I dying? No no NO! That can’t be it! This can’t be it! I just made my first friends, I just entered my first Vytal Festival Tournament, I just started really living my life it can’t just end. Not here not like this……….Daddy please help me.

…..I….I don’t want to die.

I DON’T WANNA DIE!!!!!!

At that moment Penny’s eyes shot open as she wakes from her nightmare. She sits up in a state of pure distress, taking short panicked breaths, her pajamas and hair are disheveled and the cable in her back ,the connector for her power station, has become loose from its socket from her violent shaking. She looks down at the blanket covering the lower half of her body, with a shaky hand Penny pulls back the covers to reveal not the broken and mangled pair from her nightmare but a set of perfectly attached, full intact, pale and freckle dusted legs. This sight calms her and pulls Penny full out of her daze, she pulls the cable out then flops down on the bed, her eyes glow softly.

Systems Overview:

Optics: Fully Functional

Hearing: Fully Functional

Nerves: Fully Functional

Weapons Systems: Fully Functional

Temperature Gauge: Fully Functional

Power Storage: Fully Functional………………

All Systems Are Functioning And Full Operational.

Penny: Pffft, It was just another dream. That marks two weeks and four days between this dream and the last dream, five weeks and two days from the one before that and two months from very the first. I’ll have to inform the General about this if it continues.

She shakes her head in dismissal

….No that would be useless. Informing him will result in me being sent to the lab for some diagnostic tests and a few scans. And since my systems aren’t showing any signs of error it’ll just be waste of time and resources. And we can’t afford to waste more of ether. Not now (Sighs).

She reaches into the drawer of her nightstand and pulls out a book and pen, she makes a few quick notes then return the items to their place, gets up, and begins her preparations for day ahead. She brushes her teeth, changes into her work clothes, tidies up her hair, puts on and securing her rocket boots, grabs her backpack, then heads down stairs. Right after turning back around for one last mirror check before she goes.

She arrives down stairs to see her Dad setting up the table with two plates of breakfast and two mugs, one filled with coffee, the other strawberry milk. As he finishes up Pietro spots Penny making her way towards him. He smiles brightly, his little girl is up bright and early again today.

Pietro: Good Morning, Sunshine of mine.

Penny: Good morning Dad.

Pietro: How are you doing this morning?

Penny: I am functioning optimally and all my systems and programs are running correctly.

Pietro: What about the “dreams” ? Are you still having them?

Penny: N-no I have not. (Hiccup)

Pietro: Uh Huh. Now Penny you know that I love you ,and you know I will always be there whenever you need me. But I can’t help you when you need me if you don’t tell me.

Penny: But there isn’t anything you can do about this. This isn’t an error or virus or anything to do with my specs or my hardware, there’s nothing wrong with me for you to fix.

Pietro: Not everything is matter fixing broken parts, sometimes it’s more a matter understanding emotions and talking about hardships. I’d be happy to help you with both whenever you want.

Penny: Thank you Dad but I do not think that will be of any significant help with this problem. And with the increase of my responsibilities, the rise in overall military activity and “ the project” I cannot add another issue to my daily routine. So please let’s just leave this problem be, just for little while.

Pietro: I understand I wouldn’t bother you about anymore. Now come here eat your breakfast, the foods getting cold.

Penny: Dad I don’t need to eat.

Pietro: But you can eat and makes you happy, isn’t that a good enough reason for doing it.

Penny: Okay, okay but I only have ten minutes and fifty three seconds to spare. If I stay any longer I’ll be running behind schedule.

Pietro: Well we can’t have that now can we? Better sit down and eat while you can!

Penny quickly takes a seat in front of her plate. She looks at her meal, two sunny side up eggs two pieces of welled spiced sausage and white toast cut into two triangles. She takes a deep inhale, picks up her fork, and takes her first bite. The eggs have warm welcoming taste as the yolk isn’t too runny and the whites are just the right amount of chewy. The sausage is tender and juicy, the rich meat flavor with a of spicy kick makes hard to stop from eating too fast. And rounding up the plate the wonderful toast has come out just right today, not too soft nor too burnt with a generous amount of butter on top. A pure blanket of soft crunchy buttery goodness. But once the food all gone the only way to finish up a proper breakfast is with a morning beverage. For today that morning beverage is cold and sweet strawberry milk. A creamy and sweet way to put some sugar and vitamin D into your morning.

It’s nothing special really, just a simple everyday meal but for Penny ,someone so new to the practice of eating and enjoying food, it is a moment of pure and utter bliss.~

Penny: Delicious as always, thanks Dad.

Penny gets up and turns to leave.

Pietro: Wait! Aren’t you forget something?

Penny: The dishes?

Pietro: No.

Pietro goes over to her, spreads his arms out, and gestures to her.

Penny: Oh!

Penny leans down and warps her arms around him. She stays like this just long enough to soak in her father’s warmth, he give her a kiss on the head as she pulls away.

Pietro: I love you Sweetheart.

Penny: I love you too Dad. I’ll be home before 10 pm.

Penny walks to the door gives her dad a quick wave and is out the door. Once on the streets she clicks the heels of her rocket boots to active them then takes off into the sky to begin her daily responsibilities.

7:30 AM to 12:00 PM Patrol Mantle’s streets

After a quick aerial scan of streets below Penny lands a starts to survey the area, everything seems to be in order store owners are opening their shop doors, groups of children are walking to school, the buses transporting the mine and factory workers, though noticeably less full then usual, are running according to the schedule, and the late night patrons of Sammy’s Pub are finally heading home from another night of intoxication. Mr. Calves, a man known for being a destructive alcoholic, is slumped against the building and losing consciousness fast.

Penny: Mr. Calves please leave this area and return to your home immediately. The owner of this establishment has already stated several times that you can no longer loiter here after business hours and has asked to have you trespassed if you refuse.

Claves looks at Penny with disgust as he shakily stands up. He downs the remaining liquid in his bottle, he then swings the empty bottle at Penny’s head! Once the bottle is within inches of her face Penny grips him by his forearm, applying just enough pressure to stopping him in his tracks. While holding him steadily Penny calmly takes the bottle from his hand and gingerly places it on ground, straights up Calves’s clothes, then looks up and makes eye contact.

Penny: I repeat please leave the area and return home. Or I will have you trespassed and will have to take you to the near military station.

Calves finally takes the hit and skiddes away. As he leaves Penny turns her attention back towards the streets just in time to see a group of small children heading to school. A little boy with light blue hair and a little gap in his teeth notices her while walking with his friends.

“Hey it’s Ms. Penny!” he shouts, this grabs the attention of the other children as they all turn their heads at the mention of the friendly neighborhood protector.

Soon there was swarm of little hands waving wildly and a chorus of “Hi Ms. Penny” “Good Morning Ms. Protector” and “ Hi Ms. Hero” can be heard from blocks away as the parents tried their hardest to get their awestruck children to keep on their way with little success. Penny smiled brightly and waved back at them, this had become her favorite part of her morning patrols since she was tasked with the role of Mantle’s Protector. After a month or so of handling both the Grimm and crime in Mantle the people had began to recognize her as somewhat of a neighborhood hero. Although they would not approach her often most adults would wave to her as she passes by them during patrols. The children would look at her with fascination and wonder asking all sorts of questions like how she flew, why was she was so strong, and if she could give them a ride on her back while she fled around! And the elder, especially the older woman, would treat her like one would a sweet child, telling her not to stay out too late, reminding her to wear thicker clothes when it got cold, and would give her small treats like candies, small cookies, and leftover baked goods whenever they had the chance.

This is what gives her work so much meaning. The comfort and happiness she saw in their eyes, that’s what Penny was protecting, that’s what she’d repeat to herself whenever things got difficult. As long as the people, her people, were safe she could handle whatever role or new responsibility the higher ups decide to throw at her. As long as she could fight they could smile and as long they could smile she could fight.

“RING” “RING” “RING”

Penny’s scroll rings, a loud blaring alarm, it’s a status update from the security officers in charge of the surveillance drones there are two on going altercation happening sixteen blocks away, a small fire twelve blocks east, One large Grimm at the southern most edge that’s proving to be a problem for the morning squadron, and a small pack of Grimm making their way towards one of mines due southeast. In summary a normal morning in Mantle.

Penny: And like clockwork my morning peace has comes to an end. If I help with the fire first and handle the altercations a few blocks ahead then fly max speed across town to get to the Grimm I should be able to cut off the pack just before they reach the mine.

She puts her scroll away and turns to take off but not before giving the crowd one more wave as she clicks her heels and twirls as she jets up into the air. She then does a very showy wink and peace sign for the crowd and flys off.

1:00pm to 4:00 pm Training With Military Huntsman

After cutting off and taking down the pack of Grimm Penny heads to the military training center to add the other hunters as they hon their skills in biweekly training sessions. Now most days Penny will just set the facilities to train the specific skills each team needs to work on for both group and individual training. But Penny will join in if a session requires another person or if she is specifically requested. Today is Team FNKI’s turn and they’ve requested that Penny train with them, though it was more like Neon begged for two full hours to have Penny join them so she could play with Penny’s “pretty light swords”.

Once the boys are all set with their individualized training, Neon and Penny are left at the center for a 1 vs 1 sparing match. Neon playful circles Penny rainbow trailing behind her. She smiles coley ,twirling her her nunchucks and her tail, as though she doesn’t have a care in the world.

Neon: you ready to dance Penny? Cause I’ve been dying to see if those cute swords of yours are more then just a light show.

Penny: I can assure you Neon Katt my swords are indeed military grade weapons, the lights are an indicator of the connection between them and my systems so I may use them freely. They are also optimal for fighting in the dark and at night.

Neon: And you just ruined the joke killjoy. So if you’re done talking I’m just gonna beat cha with my chucks, ‘Kay.

Neon changes her stance then charges at Penny, she swings her chucks wildly at Penny trying to land a hit. Penny dodges her rapid attacks for a bit but that soon fails as Neon only grows more fierce with each swing. Neon closing in she’s just about to landing a hit but when she brings down her chucks something blocks her, she loses her balance and is pushed back. Once she regains her composure she see Penny with one of her swords in hand and smile on her face. Penny looks at her for a second then let’s go of her blade letting it flow upward to above her head. Once’s it there she releases the rest of her arsenal, the blades fanning out around her like a peacock’s tail creating a beautiful but deadly display. Penny raises her hand to Neon and gestures for her to make a move.

Game on.

The girls continue their sparing for the duration of the session, when the time almost up the door to the training room is swung open. The elegant Winter Schnee enters the room with a loud bang, grabbing everyone’s attention and stopping them dead in their tracks.

Winter: Team FNKI Your session is over please clear out so the next group may enter.

With that the boys grab their things and start head towards the door while Neon stands there sulking.

Neon: Aww man, But I wanted to play some more.

Flynt: Kitty no it’s time to go, say goodbye to your friend.

Neon: Ugggh, fine..

Neon begins to leave, looking upset and defeated she skates to the door but right as she’s about to leave she perks up and skates back to Penny.

Neon: You have your scroll on you?

Penny: Yes.

Neon: Gimme it like Now!

Penny hands Neon her scroll, Neon starts fiddling with the scroll until she finds the app she’s looking for then starts typing. Once she’s done she hands the scroll back to Penny.

Neon: If you’re ever bored or want tickets to our next concert hit me up ‘Kay.

Penny: Okay?

Neon: Awesome, and don’t worry about calling too late I’m a real night owl.

Flynt: KITTY!

Neon: OKAY! Bye Penny Pop, later Winter Wonder. See you losers in few days!

Neon rolls out of the room while Flynt looks back apologetically before leaving with the rest of his team. Penny and Winter are left standing in the room in an awkward silence.

Winter: Penny, go change the settings for the room to my presets.

Penny: Right away Ma’am

Winter: And Penny.

Penny: Yes Ma’am?

Winter: Don’t get distracted. We don’t have time for distribution.

Penny: Yes of course Ma’am.

Penny leaves the room and heads to the control room to change the settings. Once she’s finished she call a co-worker to take over as she grabs her things and leaves for her next task.

5:00 pm to 8:00 pm Filling Out Reports At The Military Outpost

After a quick flight from the training center Penny heads to the nears Military Outpost or Military Station to fill out reports on petrols, arrests, Grimm sightings and kills, and any oddity or security issues she might have noticed in between her commutes are the cities. Basically everything that needs to go on record throughout the day was to written and submitted at this time.

This was is the part of the day Penny dislike the most. After hours of detaining criminal, fighting Grimm, training with military huntsman, and keeping the community safe sitting at a computer, in an uncomfortable chair and typing everything out for hours on end was truly mental draining. Recounting an entire day down to the mundane details, filling out arrest form after arrest form, document after document is just so soul sucking and horrible. But this what she and every military member had to do when their work day comes to an end in order to keep the system running.

Penny walks in to the station she shows her identification to the front desk assistant, she is then given a usb, and boozed into the main building. Once she’s in she looks for the nears open computer, once she finds it she sits down, logs in to the system, inserts the usb, and gets to work.

After two hours of typing away Penny’s close to finishing her work a bit earlier the usual when Chief Stones, the man in charge of the station, comes running towards her with a phone in hand.

Stones: Poledina, I just got off the phone with the southwest shipping facility. They need some extra security on today’s shipment transfer and they asked for you specifically, so get down there.

Penny: Yes Sir.

Stones: And don’t forget to come back and finish your reports once you’re done.

Penny: ………Yes Sir.

After saving her work and removing the usb Penny grabs her things, heads outside and straight to the sky. After a near hour or so of flying Penny spots the facility coming up on the horizon. She’s getting closer when suddenly a truck comes zooming past her at an intense speed. It’s the shipping truck! But why is it going so fast? Where was the security detail that was supposed to be escorting them? And why is it going off the normal route? Penny stops and gets ready to jet off after the truck when-

“ HELP! SOMEBODY HELP US!”

That’s when Penny turn back and sees smoke. The truck could wait someone was in danger and she was the only one there to help. She flys towards the screaming only to find it’s the security detail! The vans been thrown on it’s side and a fires broke out. The guards have made out of the vehicle but most are injured some are unconscious the strongest of them is waving Penny down with one arm while keeping a wound close with the other.

Penny: Penny Poledina Mantle Main Security, What happened here?

Long: Seth Long Transport Security, there was a breach at the facility it turned out false alarm but once we got back they’d already set off smoke bombs in loading dock and ran off with the truck. We tried catch up with them but I think they saw it coming they set off some sort of trap and blow us off the road. Our van got flipped 5 of my men were injured 3 are out cold there was nothing we could.

Penny: We need to get you and your men to a medic right now-

Long: WAIT! There’s 1 man still in that van, he was driving when we gave chase and got stuck when we crashed. He’s names Tony, please you gotta save him.

Penny looks at the man for a moment, the desperation and fear clear in his eyes, she rips a piece off her skirt and uses it to dress Long’s wound then heads for the van. It doesn’t take her long to spot Tony, he has multiple injuries, has breathed in a lot of smoke, and is losing consciousness. Penny pulls out one of her swords and cuts him out the seatbelt. Once he’s free she gently picks him up and jets up and out of the van. When they’re back on solid ground she sets Tony down next to Long, Long gingerly pats Tony’s head and mouths “thank you” to Penny before his strength finally gives and he passes out. Penny pulls out her scroll and calls for medical attention, in the meantime she does everything she can to keep the men stable until help arrives.

It takes a few hours for everything to get cleared up but soon everything has documented and everyone in need of medical attention has either been seen or sent to the hospital for a few nights stay. With that Penny quickly heads back to the station to wraps up her reports for the day then heads home. It’s one thirty in the morning, it been a very long day and all Penny can think about is getting home, taking off her boots, getting out of her now dirty work clothes, and getting some sleep. Before she knows it she’s standing at her front door, she grabs her keys and quietly opens the door trying her hardest not to make too much noise so she doesn’t wake her dad, only to find him waiting for her at the table with a warm plate of chicken and rice with tomato soup. Penny smiles at him and heads to table for a nice late dinner and some family time. Once dishes are done and Dad’s gone off to bed Penny goes to her room, she takes off her boots, grabs some clean pajamas and heads to her bathroom she then washes off the day’s dirty and grime, puts on her pjs and heads to her bed. Once she’s in her bed she plugs herself into her power station, tucks herself with her nice warm blankets, snuggle her head into her pillow, and falls into a hard earned and well deserved night sleep.

[tomtenadia]

Remember Us - part 6

Monday surprise!

As some of you might have read from my post from yesterday, I officially finished this fic and it will have 10 parts. this was the original plan and I am glad I kept it. The idea of having many more chapters of Rowan not recognising his family was far too painful.

Chapter 9 and 10 are so sweet that they will probably give you cavities, but I just thought they deserved the best happy ending.

Also, i got very attached to Thomas and he is a great fan of his parents.

Well, I hope you will enjoy this.

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Rowan had been staying at Lorcan’s while Aelin still kept her distance. It had been two weeks and they had been horrendous. She had blocked him off of her life. She was not answering his calls or texts and apparently had told Elide not to tell him anything about her. He was furious. They should be together and face such a tragic moment in their lives, together. But Aelin would not listen. He had tried everything to talk to her.

Someone knocked on the door and, since he was home alone, he went to open it.

On the other side he found Aelin. But the woman in front of him had a lifeless stare and deep shadows under her eyes. She was the ghost of his wife.

“Ro…” she said in a thin voice and then broke down in heavy sob.

Rowan didn’t even think. His arms pulled her at his chest and kissed her head. The sight of an Aelin so heartbroken was a shot to his heart.

“I am sorry.” She added, hiding her face in his chest and inhaling his scent that always gave her comfort.

“Shhh… I am here. I am never letting you go again, no matter how much you shout at me.” Another tender kiss “I am coming home and we’ll get through this.”

Rowan was in bed and staring at the ceiling after the dream woke him up. The Aelin from the dream was a shell compared to the version sleeping at his side. He turned his head and stared at her sleepy face and a deep part of him hoped she was fine. That the baby was fine. Because he knew for sure he didn’t want to see her again in the conditions she had been in the dream. Seeing Aelin in pain or sad hurt him.

He sighed and got off the bed and walked to the kitchen but once he got there he realised he had no idea where anything was. Aelin had said he would make pancakes but could not remember the day she had said. 

A splitting headache hit him and Rowan sat down on the sofa, head in his hands and then for a moment he felt disoriented and could not recognise his surroundings. Panic hit him. He looked up and saw a boy staring at him. He jumped up and almost fell.

“Dad.” The boy’s voice was almost tearful.

And as quickly as the moment of disorientation came, just as rapidly it went away and lucidity returned.

“Tom,” he ran to the boy and hugged him to console him as soon as he started crying. He had scared him “I am sorry I frightened you.” Thomas hugged his father and stopped crying and Rowan relaxed for an instant.

“Do you want pancakes?” He asked his son, still not letting him go.

“It’s not Saturday.” Said the boy, looking at his father in his eyes.

“Shhhh…” said Rowan with a finger against his mouth “You can have pancakes all the time.” He lifted the boy in his arms “but you need to tell me where everything is.”

Thomas grinned and pointed to the kitchen and once in there he started pointing at the doors and Rowan finally found a pan. Then he grabbed his phone and searched for a recipe, grabbed eggs and milk from the fridge and joined Thomas back at the counter who, in the meantime, had grabbed a chair and was kneeling on it so he could follow his dad.

“Will you be my assistant?” the boy nodded eagerly.

After ten minutes he was mixing the batter making sure it was smooth as the instructions recommended.

“Ok, Tom, are you ready for the first one?”

“Pancakes,” he shouted happily and Rowan smiled. He might remember a very few things about his son but he was definitely going to cherish that moment. It didn’t matter if it had been only a day. He was already in love with the two children. He just hoped he could become a good father to them once again.

*

Aelin woke up and found the bed empty and for a moment she thought it had been only a dream, but as she rolled over she noticed Rowan’s side was crumpled and gently caressed his pillow. He had always been an early riser and it seemed that some things had not changed.

She sat up, grabbed her fleece from the chair and left the bed looking for Rowan.

As she exited the bedroom she heard laughter coming from the kitchen and followed the sounds and once inside she could not believe the scene. Thomas was kneeling on a chair beside Rowan trying to cook something.

“Pancakes on a Wednesday?”

Thomas turned to her “shhh mum, it’s a secret.”

Aelin walked to her son and kissed his head “good morning, my love.”

“I am helping dad with pancakes. He doesn’t remember how to make them.”

Rowan flipped one and Thomas clapped “that is mine.” He grabbed a plate and placed the pancake on it “go and sit while I make more.”

Thomas climbed down the chair and walked to the table with his plate.

Aelin moved to Rowan’s side “did you sleep well?”

Her husband nodded and hesitated for a moment wether to tell her about his episode. Then he sighed and told her what had happened and Aelin looked at him with a doctor’s eye.

“A TBI can have such effects. It can cause moments of disorientation in which the person doesn’t know where he is. It can also affect short term memory, making it difficult to learn new things or even remember things you just did.” She placed a few more pancakes in Thomas’ plate “but there are ways to help you. We can do lists, have notepads and clipboards in the house. Have a note book and note down things.” She explained going back at his side “long term memory is stored already in your brain,” and playfully patted his head “you actually haven’t lost them. They are still all there. It’s just your brain has to sort through them again. It’s very complicated and technical, but they will come back. Short term memory is another issue. Do you still feel confused?”

Rowan shook his head and passed Aelin a plate with pancakes and then grabbed the jar of Nutella “go and scoff your breakfast.”

Aelin grinned “see? You remembered I take them with Nutella.”

In that instant they heard a cry and Aelin realised Freyja had woken up. She was about to stand when Rowan stopped her “Eat,” he commanded and again she had a glimpse of past Rowan. The one who would made sure she ate.

A moment later he came back with his daughter in his arms “I think our princess wants to join the breakfast club as well.” Freyja threw her chubby arms around his neck, snuggling close to him “what does she eat?”

Aelin went to the fridge and grabbed one of her pressed meals and Rowan began feeding his daughter.

It was an hour later when Aelin was ready for work “mum should be back very soon and I am taking Thomas to the nursery. Will you be okay with Freyja for half an hour tops? I changed her and she is fed, it should be easy.”

Rowan lifted the little girl in his arms “we should be fine.” And gave her his best reassuring smile.

“You call me if you have any problems.”

Thomas went to hug his dad before following Aelin out of the door.

Once he was alone with his daughter he stood, with her still in his arms and hobbled around the living room and stared at their impressive bookcase. Freyja leaned forward and with her hands tried to grab a book “ ‘tory” she babbled.

“Do you want me to read you a story?” He asked her and the girl green eyes were fixed on him and then she nodded.

He placed her down on the carpet and turned to the library in search of a storybook for her.

“I think I— ” he turned with a book in his hands and froze. Freyja was gone. Shit.

“Freyja.” He called her, panic rising in his voice. She couldn’t have gone far. How fast could a 18 months toddler go? He took his cane and started looking around the house “Freyja?”

In that instant Evalin came back and he breathed in relief.

“Rowan, are you okay?”

He was the worst father ever “I lost Freyja. I was looking for a storybook and when I turned she was gone.” He was preparing himself from some lashing from his mother in law but the woman burst into laughter.

“She does that. Thomas has been teaching her how to play hide and seek,” the woman explained calmly walking around the house and then going to the girl’s bedroom. Rowan followed her.

Evalin lifted the blanket from the side of the bed and pointed at under her bed.

Rowan heard a faint giggle.

“I wonder where my girl is.” Said Evalin keeping up the pretence. She opened the wardrobe “no, she is not here.” Rowan observed her and then joined in “she is not in the toy box either.”

Evalin placed her hands on her hips and grinned at Rowan then crouched down “here you are.”

The little girl screamed in delight as her grandma caught her.

The three of  them went back to the living room and Evalin passed Freyja back to Rowan and went to unpack her shopping bags.

“Do you need a hand?” He offered.

“No, it’s just fruits and veggies and a few more things. I love to go down at the market in the morning and buy fresh ingredients.” She told him, “you love to go too on your day off, wake up early and also go to the fish market and get the first catch.”

Rowan sat on a chair at the big table with his daughter in his arms.

“Aelin can cook, but you are the chef of the family.”

He smiled back and gently bounced Freyja on his knee and she giggled.

“How does it feel being back home?” She asked her son in law while stashing away the groceries.

Rowan sighed “it feels good and strange at the same time.” It was hard to explain how he felt without sounding like a lunatic “Some things are starting to feel familiar. But others feel totally new and others scare me.” He confessed but the woman in front of him looked at him with tenderness “the kids for example, I feel like I love them madly already but it pains me that the memories with them are still fuzzy. I want to give them back their father.”

“And Aelin?”

Rowan sighed “I think I feel something for her. I would not call it love yet. But yesterday we kissed and it felt like the most normal thing ever.”

Evalin smiled.

“But my memories are a jumble in my head right now. I have them, they are there and I found that being at home is triggering more and more of them. I want to do this. I want us to be a family again.” He grabbed his phone and showed her the photo on his home screen. The one on the beach, all of them smiling and happy. “I want this again. I just don’t know how to get there.”

“Rowan,” Evalin walked to him once done with the groceries and sat at his side “you have been awake for a month and at home for two days.” She patted his knee “both Aelin and I think that being home will help trigger more of your memories. Look through photo albums.” She stood and opened a cabinet and took out a box which once opened he discovered it contained a lot of photo albums. “Digital is good, but you and Aelin both love to print out the photos and make scrapbooks.” She rummaged in the box for a moment and then passed him an album “start with this.”

Rowan took it and it noticed it was their wedding album “Her friend Chaol took all the photos and then Aelin made a scrapbook and added notes and comments on it. She said she did not want the usual boring wedding album.”

He opened the first page and in big colourful letter and nice calligraphy it said Buzzard & Fireheart: the beginning of an epic tale.

The second page it had a picture of the two of them in an armour, back to back and swords drawn.

“You two hired some costumes for that photo.”

Rowan laughed and kept on flipping through the photo album. It was organised like a story, with small narrating paragraphs near the photos and he read each one of them.

“You two got married on a beach, then had a gigantic barbecue for all your friends and then when night came you lit a bonfire and had your first dance as husband and wife in front of the fire. Both of you barefoot.”

Rowan smiled “it sounds like fun.”

“It was a great day.” She bounced Freyja on her lap “all the albums tell a story. You did all of them like that so when looking back you could also remember more of those moments.”

Rowan reached the page where they were standing in front of Aedion, who officiated the wedding, and he stared at Aelin. Her light blue dress was gorgeous, but he was stuck on her smile. In the photo he was looking at she has the brightest of smiles and he realised that falling for her would be so easy. She was caring, brilliant, funny and sarcastic. She had passion. She had fire.

She was his Fireheart.

[justanotherlifeff]

Maybe a NSFW with todoroki and super small reader... Like 4'9 or 4'10...🥺👉🏻👈🏻

"Such a good little girl for me"

Warning: NSFW, Smut, Kinky stuff

When Shouto woke up and went to the kitchen for breakfast, he was greeted with what in his opinion was the cutest thing he had ever seen. He had been dating you for a few years, since your third year at UA and he recently asked you to move in with him. What he didn't expect on his rare day off was to find you struggling to take the jar of nutella from the top shelf of the kitchen, where he accidentally put it the other day. To say that you looked cute was an understatement. You looked absolutely adorable, climbing the kitchen counter and trying to reach the jar. Shouto could've put you off your misery the moment he found you struggling but he decided to watch you for a while. You were SMOL. He honestly always found the height difference between the two of you cute. He was 6 feet tall at the age of 22 while you didn't grow an inch since your third year and were 4'10. Looking at you as you were only wearing shorts and one of his shirts made his length harden as it painfully pressed against his sweatpants. "Need help love?" Shouto called out after watching you for a while, almost making you fall from the kitchen counter. "Fuck! You scared me Sho!" you exclaimed pulling yourself together and climbing down from the counter as Shouto approached you and got the jar with ease with a smirk. "You looked cute so I couldn’t help but watch for a while." Shouto murmured to you as he placed the nutella jar on the counter. "You're mean Sho. You know that I can't reach the damned top shelf..." you pouted at him, folding your arms together, making him want to kiss you. And so he did.

The sudden kiss on your lips left you wide eyed but you soon melted into his arms. He then picked you up and made you sit on the counter so that he wouldn’t have to bend too much to kiss you. Your hands wrapped around his shoulder as his were on your waist, as the two of you made out passionately. Pulling away for a moment you gasped out, "We didn't have breakfast yet Sho...". "I want you now. We can have breakfast later." Shouto whispered to your ear as his mouth attached itself to your neck, marking you as his. You protested about it at first but you knew by now that he would only gently brush you off and continue doing what he was doing either way so you didn't even bother to protest against him giving you hickeys anymore. Instead, you melted into his arms whimpering from the pleasurable pain inflicted on your neck. You felt his bulge on your thighs as he unbuttoned the oversized shirt you were wearing, only to find your bare breasts. "Not wearing a bra huh... I like the easy access." Shouto commented with a smirk, making you blush as his lips attached to one of your nipples while one of his hands kneaded your other breast.

After Shouto decided that he played enough with your breasts, he picked you up with ease and headed for the bedroom. It wasn’t often that the two of you got a day off at the same time. Hero work was as hectic as ever but when you did get times like these, Shouto started acting like a clingy baby, never letting you stay away from him for long. You'd be lying if you said that you didn't like it because you absolutely cherished these moments. After placing you on the bed and pulling your shorts off, Shouto took in the view infront of him. You laid there infront of him wearing nothing but his unbuttoned shirt with your entire body on display right under him. He saw this same view every night but failed to get tired of it. How could he ever get tired of you? His right hand trailed from your neck to your groin. There wasn’t much distance to be covered and seeing how big his hand was compared to you was a sight to see. He used his quirk while doing so, making his hand icy cold, making you shiver underneath him. Upon reaching your pussy, he found you unbelievably wet. "Already wet love? I didn’t even touch you properly..." he muttered as he went down on you, giving you a lick, lappint the entire area from your hole to your clit. You moaned loudly at the pleasant feeling as Shouto muttered, "You taste as good as always...". "Sho-Shouto... Pleaseee..." you whined at the feeling, gripping the messy bedsheets tightly. "What do you want baby?" Shouto asked you sensually, looking up at you before giving a light kiss at your clit making you a mess under him. "Y-you.. Pleaseeee.... I need you..." you whined. "Okay baby. I'm all yours. On all fours baby." He commanded and you complied immediately without question. Looking at your form on all fours on the bed, he grabbed your ass as he bended to meet your ear before whispering, "Such a good little girl for me... Here's your reward...". With that he slammed his length into you, filling you to the brim. You yelped at the feeling of being so full out of nowhere and without giving you a rest, Shouto pounded in you, his hands grabbing your waist so tightly that it might leave bruises. You were a moaning mess, unable to form coherent words till you could only chant your lover's name like it's the only thing you know.

It didn't take long for you to come undone all over him but that didn't stop him. He pounded into you, overstimulating you, making you lose count of how many times you came before shooting his load into you. You were completely spent as you slumped into the bed as Shouto left the room immediately after sex. If this was your first time, you would've been offended but by now, you knew that he was going to get you water and bring a wet dishcloth to wipe you up and probably order takeout. Looking at the ceiling, you smiled to yourself, wondering what you might have done to deserve someone like Shouto. Either way, you knew that you were the luckiest girl on the planet.

[wonderlandmind4]

Delicate Stages of Life: 27

Time Heist 

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OFC Ana Rios

Summary: Life in Wakanda is filled with love, laughs, some tears, all emotions, lazy days, goats, hot springs, a soul connection, and something dark that looms over Bucky’s and Ana’s domestic bliss…

Warnings: Language. Angst. 

Words: 8005 k

A/N: (Do not read unless you’ve read Delicate Stages first) beautiful moodboard by @afewmarvelousthoughts​​​ and thank you for all your help and tears and yelling at me. (gif not mine) Sorry for the wait!

Fingers glide over a slick flat surface, ripples cascading outward. Eyes flutter open, vision filled with the hue of a dusty orange haze; a setting sun. Slowly, Ana sits up, hands stroking through the water that never dampens her skin. Pushing herself up, she turns, immediately spotting the little girl. As she walks towards her, footsteps silent in the pond, the girl meets her gaze. She doesn’t speak, just takes a step sideways, placing her small hands against her own chest. Curiosity propels Ana forward, moving closer to the girl, searching her brain to recall her name.

“Gamora,” Ana speaks with a hushed tone. 

She stretches out her hand for the child to take. Ana has so many questions to ask her, sitting on the tip of her tongue. Gamora shakes her head, a rueful tilt to her mouth, eyes glossy. She keeps her hands over her chest, a faint glow emitting between her fingers.

“How can I help you?” Ana begs. What was her purpose of being here? Of her constantly waking up in the same spot, in the same world, for years now? “I want to help you.”

“You’re not here for me,” She whispers ominously.

Eyebrows knit together. “What do you mean?”

The child’s tiny smile falls from her lips. She moves one hand to press against the door behind her, holds out the other for Ana. When their fingers connect, a rush shoots through Ana’s body, suddenly she’s standing on the other side of the door. She blinks, the sensation rolling through her chest when she touched Gamora remains as she stares ahead.

Bucky, as in every dream, stands before her, the same little grin on his lips. “Annie.”

Ana immediately goes to him, her hands hovering over his face. She refrains from touching him just yet, not sure if he’ll fade away the second she does. The only time they were able to solidly feel each other was the night their daughter was born; she hasn’t been able to touch him since. She hasn’t been back in this world for months.

“Bucky,” His name spills on a choked sob, relief warming her body at the sight of his beautiful face. “Hi.”

Bucky raises his hand, barely brushing his fingers through her hair, light enough to send a shiver down her spine. Her heart sings with the ghost of his touch.

“I wish I could stay here with you,” Ana mumbles, copying his own gesture, her fingers grazing over his beard, hovering down to his chest. “I wish I could feel you.”

A solemn smile crooks his mouth. “I’m always with you. With Alex. She is so beautiful, Ana.”

Bucky saying their daughter’s name fills a part of her soul. It’s the same sensation she had when she first held their baby girl. Ana can’t resist any longer, pressing her hand firmly against his chest. She longs for him. She needs him, just needs to feel his body beneath her palm, if only briefly. Bucky tilts his head down, forehead resting against hers.

“I love you,” Ana weeps softly, beginning to feel him dematerialize. 

Bucky cups her cheeks, thumbs wiping away the tears staining her face. “Just because I’m not here, doesn’t mean my love for you has faded.”

She grips his vest desperately, praying, yearning to keep him together in front of her. With every passing second, his fingers become lighter, feathers dancing over her skin, her hand sinking into his chest. Ana quickly grabs his right wrist, turning her face to kiss his palm, dust settling on her tongue, grains caught in the imprints of her lips.

“Be careful, Annie Doll.” Bucky’s warning echoes distantly. His form dematerializing into the air. 

She can’t question what he means, too focused on attempting to breathe as ash fills her lungs. Bucky’s hand crumbles away. Her soul once again ripped from her body as her hand closes around nothing.

Waking with a shuddering gasp, Ana jerks upward, gripping the nearest thing with one hand, clutching at her chest with the other. Awareness comes quickly; her lashes and cheeks are wet, chest heaving, her fingers dig into the textured fabric of the couch. She takes her hand away before she can burn through another piece of furniture. Calming herself, she wipes her face dry, taking several deep breaths.

“Ana?” A concerned Steve hovers over her. His solid grip on her shoulder grounding her. “You alright? You with us?”

It takes her a second to answer him with a jerky nod. Keenly aware of all electronics flickering and buzzing around her, energy stinging her skin, she presses her hand to her chest, ceasing her powers. The air weighs heavily with loss, anxious anticipation, the fragile underline of hope. Emotional energy radiates from every person in the room. Tony doesn’t take his eyes off of her, brows furrowed, his eyes intensely attentive. 

“I-I-” She stutters through pants.

“Sad mama?” Alex’s little voice pipes up, a question she’s been asking much too frequently. As if the toddler can sense the emotions around her. She’s sliding off Natasha’s lap, hurrying over to Ana. “Don’t be sad.”

Gathering her daughter into her own lap, Ana gently reassures her, hugging her close, reveling in the feeling of serenity only her daughter can give. Alex seems to accept this, lounging back against her chest and fiddling with her wedding rings. Ana lifts her gaze to Steve’s, his own keen on her every expression.

“This has to work,” She stresses, not caring of the desperation in her tone. “It has too.”

Steve leans forward, eyes intense on hers. “It will.” Then his jaw shifts, muscles clenching. “Because I don’t know what to do if it doesn’t. But it will work.” He puts enough conviction in his voice to make Ana want to believe him. Believe in the possibility. 

“Well,” Bruce chirps after a stretch of heavy silence. He claps his large hands together, the sound echoing through the living room. Alex startles slightly. “Let’s get started then!”

All but Ana exit the living room. Hiding her face in her daughter’s hair briefly, another hand squeezes her shoulder firmly. When she lifts her head, Tony peers down at her, silent question in his dark eyes. Ana reaches up to pat the back of his hand, reassuring him.

*

While Tony tinkers with making Quantum suits and Bruce and Scott pour over their research notes on anything to do with Quantum Physics, Ana heads to the hangar several floors up. Alex skips happily behind her, softly singing Bucky’s lullaby.

“Are you sure you don’t want someone going with you? Steve at least?” Ana frowns once she’s sitting in the pilots seat of the Quinjet. She notices her daughter reaching for something on the control board. “Jamie Alexandra, what did I say about touching that?”

Alex snatches her hand back, sending her mother a cheesy smile, widening her blue eyes. God, she looks so much like Bucky when Ana would catch him eating out of the Nutella jar. Natasha locks her bag in a cupboard, then fondly ruffles the toddler's hair.

“This is something I have to do myself,” She replies, voice resigned. “I’m the only one who has any chance of convincing him.”

“Just...be careful.”

They lock eyes. Ana isn’t talking about Natasha protecting herself from physical harm, rather than protecting her heart and what she may find. Ana sees recognition dawn in her eyes. She dips her head in response. 

“He’s never judged me on my worst mistakes...or non mistakes. I’m not one to judge him either. He gave me a chance despite my past, this is his.”

Pushing her hand through her hair, Ana sighs, accepting her answer. “Let me know when you get back home. If it’s really bad, I can try to help.”

“Thanks, I will.” Natasha turns to Alex, picking her up from the copilot seat. “You little miss monster, stay out of trouble.” She pokes her belly making the little girl laugh.

“I go too?” Alex asks with her innocent voice.

“Next time,” Natasha promises, kissing her cheek. 

*

Following Natasha’s departure, the week brings moments Ana wasn’t quite prepared for. Though watching Alex run around in the grass, squealing and laughing as she chases after Nebula just minutes after she lands, fills her heart with joy. Rhodey and Tony have their own little reunion as Ana hangs back, relishing in a rare content moment.

Natasha successfully arrives back three days later with Clint in tow. Darkened, angry energy thickens the air, the sensation shoots through Ana’s bones the second she walks in the living room. It makes her knees weak, nearly giving out beneath her and when she meets Clint’s gaze, he dips his head in shame. When she recovers, Ana offers her help with the lift of her hands. The emotions rolling off him stings her fingertips.

“I don’t deserve your help,” Clint mutters brokenly.

“That’s what Bucky told me once,” Ana counters softly. 

“That was different.”

“Is it?” 

Clint huffs. “Don’t need to waste your powers on me, Feisty Cuffs.”

The old nickname makes her crack a smile. “Fine, will you allow a hug then?”

He relents. It results in Ana attempting to at least calm him, which makes him scoff before he playfully pushes her back onto the couch. When Clint officially meets Alex, his mood lifts significantly. When the little curious toddler begins to trace her fingers over the tattoos covering his entire left arm, Clint’s eyes soften with an all too familiar haunted gaze Ana recognizes.

Just one day later brings Bruce and Rocket back with Thor. His aura is worse than Clint’s, worse than anyone Ana has ever worked with; including Bucky. The god’s chaotic storm of energy and emotions leaves her breathless, overcomes her, and she frantically grabs Steve’s shirt to keep her upright as she falls. He’s quick to catch her, quick to take her from the room as she gasps.

Only an hour passes before she tries again with her rings on, greeting Thor with a spontaneous hug. He smells of sweat and stale beer, his long stringy hair and beard are unkempt, but Ana hugs him as tight as she can. When she pulls back, she cups her hands along his cheeks. His eyes- one blue, one gold- fill with tears, every ounce of his aura black, broken, guilt-ridden. Ana tentatively uses her ability, a slow morph of transmutation.

“They hate me,” Thor mumbles nearly inaudible. Ana is inches away from him and she has to strain her ears.

She offers him a gentle smile. “No one hates you, Thor.”

“You hate me.”

“Never.”

His bottom lip trembles before he tilts forward, face pressed against her shoulder. Ana hugs him like she did Clint, patting his back. A giggle echoes down the hallway, Alex appearing seconds later with Tony, her bunny clutched in her little hands. Smiling, Ana taps Thor harder.

“Would you like to meet my daughter?”

Without fail, Alex brightens Thor’s face with a genuine grin. She introduces her BunBun to him, chattering away and asking to braid his hair like her mama does with hers. Ana swells with adoration and pride, realizing that anyone who has the honor of being in her daughter’s presence always seems to cheer up, their energies turn lighter whether they’re sad or not. Vaguely she wonders if it’s just Alex and her cute happy demeanor, or if she had passed some of her own powers down to her child.

When Thor pretends to fall back from a fake self-inflicted punch from the bunny, Alex laughs uncontrollably, little crinkles forming by her bright blue eyes. Ana doesn’t focus on the possibility of what her daughter may have inherited from her or Bucky, just enjoys the sight of her little girl doing more for this makeshift family than she will ever know.

*

Tony, Rocket, Nebula and Bruce work tirelessly on building a Quantum Tunnel during the next few days. It’s a time machine and Ana insists on calling it an advanced dolorian much to Tony’s annoyance and Steve’s amusement. Halfway through the building process, Alex wonders in, her childish curiosity taking over as she plops down right next to Tony. Ana finally catches up with her daughter, halting in her steps.

Tony hands Alex a wrench, helping the little girl lift the heavy tool. He proceeds to teach her how to tighten a few bolts, chatting with her as if she’s a grown adult, the toddler nodding along as if she understands. Steve watches the scene a few feet in front of him, meeting Ana’s gaze before he makes his way over to her.

“Ya know, Bucky loved science and technology,” Steve states, a distant gleam in his blue eyes. He suddenly chuckles. “He was kind of a nerd.”

A pang clenches through her heart, but Ana chooses to make this moment a happy one. “Yes he was,” She laughs. “It’s one of the main reasons he loved living in Wakanda.”

“She’s smart, Alex is. Really smart for her age.”

“I think she has more Bucky in her than me.”

Steve must pick up on the slight waver in her tone, for he wraps a comforting arm around her shoulders. “You ready for this?”

Sighing, Ana briefly rests her head against his chest. “I’m trying really hard not to get my hopes up, but yes. I am so ready for this.”

*

Clint offers to be the time traveling guinea pig after Scott nearly panics about doing it himself. The test run goes smoothly and the utter disbelief yet joyous expression on Clint’s face leaves every single one of them more optimistic than before. Ana feels the collective energy pick up, the grueling heartbreak, guilt, loneliness, the darkness that had a gravity which weighed them down is beginning to dissipate. It’s fragile, hope is fragile and one wrong move could snatch it all away, destroying any chance of bringing their loved ones back.

It’s what brings on a six hour brainstorming session the next day. Ana sits back against the wall of the conference room after she put Alex down for a nap. Being one of the only people, besides Scott, not to have some encounter with any of the stones, she decides to stay out of the conversation. Bruce reminds them of the limited Pym particles and how crucial each roundtrip is.

Nebula makes brief eye contact with her. Ana frowns at the meaningful look, until she abruptly remembers her fingers grazing over one of the stones on that damn gauntlet. Shaking her head subtly, Nebula looks away, focusing on Thor’s sorrowful rambling about the Reality Stone, or the Aether as Steve called it.

Tuning them out, Ana bites her lip, nervously tracing her collarbones with her fingers. She still has trouble recalling which stone she touched, if she did in fact touch it at all. Maybe it was her imagination and she has just been trying to justify where her dreams are coming from. 

After Thor’s wobbly retelling of the Aether, and Rocket’s entire story of the Power stone on Morag and how he and the Guardians saved the galaxy from potentially being destroyed, Ana offers to order lunch. Really, she just needed a break from the stories and her own jumbled thoughts.

Once they finish eating, FRIDAY alerts Ana of a stirring toddler beginning to wake, when Nebula states her knowledge of the Soul stone. She mentions the planet named Vormir, just as Ana pushes herself off the chair she was lounging in.

“What is Vormir?” Natasha inquires, writing furiously in the notebook she hasn’t put down since they started.

“A dominion death,” Nebula answers ominously. “At the very center of celestial existence...it’s where Thanos murdered my sister, Gamora.”

Ana freezes midstep. That name, why does that name sound so familiar? A brief image of a little girl with beautiful green skin and markings around her cheeks abruptly flashes through her mind. Gamora. Gamora . Slowly she turns, facing Nebula. 

“What?” Her voice comes out hushed. Nebula has never mentioned her sister before by name. “What was her name?”

“Gamora.”

“Oh my god,” Ana exhales, reaching out to grab the door frame for support. “Oh, my god, holy fuck.”

“What? What is it?” Clint sits up, eyes darting between the two women. “Did you know her?”

She fish mouths several times, trying to make sense of the connection she just put together. It couldn’t be. How is that possible? Ana shakes her head in disbelief, remembering that horrid day in Wakanda once more.

“My-my dreams…” Ana begins breathlessly, her heart racing. “I-I touched a stone. Nebula, the stone I touched...I think it was- oh my god . I think it was the Soul Stone.”

Nebulas tenses. “Are you positive it was-”

“Wait,” Steve interrupts. “You touched a stone!? When did you touch a stone?”

Ana glances at him. “In Wakanda...after you got hit. I tried attacking Thanos. I tried pulling his life energy out but he was about to use the stones on me. I-I grabbed the gauntlet, attempted to take the energy from the stones instead and my hand slipped. I stole energy from the Soul Stone !”

“Pause, think about this,” Tony cuts in, rubbing his temple. “How can you be sure?”

“My dreams!” Ana explains exasperated. Tony raises his eyebrows, confusion coloring his face. Right, he doesn’t know about her dreams. She sighs heavily, moving to sit in the same chair again.

“I’ve been having these dreams for the past three years,” She informs him. “They’re not normal dreams, it feels real, always feels so real, as if I’m actually there. Usually it’s the same with an orange sky, like a sunset. I wake up in a pond of water but I’m never wet. I always see this little girl before I-” Ana clears her throat, pressing her hand to her chest. “Before I see Bucky. I see him every time and every time I try to touch him he just...he fades into ash.”

Ana’s hands are trembling and she’s grateful she’s sitting down, for her legs feel like jello. “But, I see this little girl, this child right before then. I kept asking who she was, where we were. All she told me was that she was trapped. Until the night Alex was born.”

“You nearly died,” Natasha whispers, eyes wide as she remembers. “Your heart stopped.”

“I think that’s when it happened,” Ana continues. “When I passed out, I was back in that world. Like I was physically there! I spoke with her again, she said her name was Gamora. And Bucky. I- I could touch him. I was able to touch him without him instantly crumbling. That hadn’t happened before. He told me-”

She tilts her head, mind falling back into the memory, the feel of Bucky’s cool touch lingering on her cheek. The warmth of his lips pressing against hers. She shakes her head. “He told me it wasn’t my world, and he knew Alex was a girl before I did. I touched Gamora, I touched Bucky. He knew...they both knew.”

Blinking herself back, Ana meets Nebula’s shocked face. “Oh, my god, it’s real. That place, that world. It’s real. I think it’s some sort of Soul World. Call me fucking crazy, but I think maybe their souls are trapped .”

“You’re right,” Rocket pipes up after a long stretch of stunned silence. “It does sound fucking crazy. But, not impossible?”

“I’m with build-a-bear on this one,” Tony inputs. He’s been staring intently at her since she started talking. “You have to be absolutely sure about this, kid.”

“I am, Tony! Hear me out,” Ana urges. “Before Bucky and I got married, I connected our energies. Basically, I connected our soul energies. I touched the Soul stone, which I’m assuming I contracted some amount of that energy as well. Nebula, you said Thanos-

“He killed my sister there.”

She dips her head in sympathy for Nebula. “It makes sense...her soul being trapped within it. It makes sense why I keep seeing Bucky there, because to do what he did, Thanos would need to take away souls as well with the stone. Every stone had its own purpose.”

“Call me crazy too, but what you’re saying makes sense,” Clint shrugs. He looks up at Steve, who nods in confirmation.

“So, what does it all mean?” Scott questions, scratching his head.

“Mrs. Barnes,” FRIDAY’s voice cuts through the room. “Your daughter is now wide awake. As I have sensed the importance of your meeting, I have opted to play her favorite movie for now. She is currently content to view it safely on your bed.”

“Thank you, FRIDAY, I’ll be right there,” Ana responds, rubbing her eyes. She stands up, steadying herself to make sure her legs have stopped shaking. “It means, Scott, I think you’re right about this time heist. I think this might actually, truly work. Their souls are trapped and if we can reserve it-”

“You can’t just bring a body back, it’s soul needs to be brought back too,” Bruce adds on, excitement in his voice.

“Exactly! I hope...but yes,” Ana says. “We can talk about this later. I have to get Alex before she decides to get into the nutella jar by herself.”

Ana makes it to her room before she allows herself a moment to breathe. Resting her forehead against her door, she counts her breathing, attempting to settle her heart, attempting to tamper down her building hope. Because if she hopes too much and reversing what Thanos did doesn’t work, it will crush her. She doesn’t think she’ll survive a second round of failure.

*

The brainstorming session finally comes to an end, everyone exhausted by dinner time. Too tired to cook, Tony orders pizza. Alex is giggling uncontrollably as she tries stealing one of Thor’s pieces while he dramatically catches her doing it. Ana has barely touched her food, her mind reeling over the revelation she had earlier. 

Had she been dreaming of a Soul World this whole time? Was that what the door was for? The entrance of said world, but then why was Gamroa not on the other side? Did Ana truly die for a few moments the night of her daughter’s birth? Had she entered that world, and that’s why she could physically touch Bucky? Was that why Bucky was so adamant about her leaving?

“I fear you may be here permanently if you don’t leave soon.”

Did he mean the longer she stayed, the closer to death she really was? Her soul has been reaching out to his for the past three years. Bucky had been calling her name from that world for three years. Bucky’s soul has been watching over her from that world.

“You upset about my choice of pizza? I’m offended.” Tony’s voice pulls Ana out of her head. He sits next to her, purposely pressing the side of his body to hers. 

“Hmm?”

“You haven’t touched your food.”

“Oh. I’m not very hungry,” She shrugs.

Tony appraises her, peering over the top of his glasses. “You’ve always been more powerful than you let on.”

“Pulling energy from an Infinity Stone doesn’t mean I’m powerful to begin with.”

“The fact that you were able to touch a stone without it killing you says the opposite. But I was talking about soul connecting.”

Picking the label off her beer bottle, Ana shrugs. “Bucky and I were connected long before that.”

“You’re downplaying your abilities, you have been for years, Ana. You don’t think I kept tabs on your energy readings since your brother’s funeral? The power knocked out within a ten mile radius. FRIDAY alerted me three years ago of an incident, your readings were off the charts, nearly reaching Thor’s level. Scarred the lawn I see.”

A sickening curl wraps around her stomach at the mention of her brother. Ana pushes her plate away further. Tony keeping up on her ability levels wasn’t a secret, the fact that he knew about her outburst was though; Pepper or Steve must have told him how it happened. Tearing off the beer label, she crumbles it, dropping it on the table.

“I don’t believe that,” Ana scoffs. She takes a long swig of her beer just to avoid the intensity in his eyes.

Tony hums, picking up her discarding pizza. “Regardless, I think you always had connections with soul energy, being an Empathic Energy Alchemist and all. Touching an Infinity Stone amped it up by thousands, connected you to a world on a different existential plane. It’s solid proof, and I gotta tell you, hearing that makes me feel better.”

“What?” She blinks at him as he takes a big bite. “Tony-”

He holds a finger up while he finishes chewing. Ana glares until he’s done, then steals her beer to take a drink. “I know the time heist will work, your confession only solidified it.”

“Glad to be a help, I guess.” She deadpans, snatching the bottle back.

His expression abruptly turns serious, lowering his head closer to hers. “You listen to me, kid. I know exactly how powerful you are. I’ve known you for 14 years. I know, I’ve seen how deeply emotions and energy affects you, it either debilitates you or you dangerously absorb it. When this happens, if this works and we bring everyone we lost back, it will affect you. I need you to be prepared. I need you to be ready to feel the world. You have to be prepared to, not just feel Barnes coming back, but everyone.”

The severity of Tony’s tone, the way his gaze vehemently holds hers, causes Ana to read between his lines.

“Tony,” Ana begins gravely. “Are you implying I could get hurt?”

“I’m simply warning you to be careful. I can’t predict if something bad will happen or not, but if it does, I’m asking you to prepare yourself. Don’t hold anything back, but please don’t take on that energy if it’s too much for us to handle.”

“Too much to handle?”

“According to the Jolly Green Giant over there, the stones have enough gamma radiation to light up a continent. I’m more worried about what that could potentially do to you. Reversing what Thanos did won’t be a success if I lose you in the process.”

His words mull over her brain for several seconds. “Are you asking me not to help?”

He hesitates. Tony takes off his glasses with a forlorn sigh. It’s in that moment Ana sees how the stress of the past weeks affected him, how exhausted he truly is. How his anxiety is barely rolling off him, tampering his own emotions down for her sake. Ana places her hand on his shoulder. 

Tony sighs again before he answers, cupping her cheek. “Yes, I am. Just worry about yourself, for your daughter’s sake.”

Ana moves her attention away from his face, spotting Alex sitting next to Steve at the table. The two year old is attempting to eat a full slice, holding the pizza up and making a mess of herself, tomato sauce staining her little cheeks. Alex rips off a bite, chewing triumphantly and allows Steve to help her put the slice back on her plate. He’s trying not to laugh, due to the fighting grin on his face as he hands over her sippy cup. Ana’s whole world is in the bright blue eyes of her little girl.

“Okay,” She agrees belatedly, eyes sliding back to Tony. “Okay. I promise I won’t actively try to help.”

“And there is it, that stubbornness I’ve missed so much” He quips, dropping his hand and knocking hers off his shoulder. “And don’t think I didn’t know what you were doing just now either. That’s what I’m talking about.”

Laughing, Ana defends herself. “I honestly wasn’t trying to. You don’t hide your anxiety from me as well as you think you do. I can’t help it if I try to calm you.”

“Yeah, yeah. Eat your dinner, pain in my ass.” He ruffles her hair as he stands.

“Favorite pain in your ass, you mean.”

Tony steals her beer in retaliation.

*

It’s a Friday morning when the team walks in the hangar wearing the Quantum suits Tony made. Ana had been fussing with Alex’s hair the entire time everyone else got dressed, trying to quell her anxiety. Today is the day the Time Heist will be executed, hopefully without flaw. Keeping her fingers busy as she braids her daughter’s hair helped, just barely.

Upon agreement not to help where she didn’t have to, much to Ana’s displeasure, she’s chosen to stay behind. Bruce went over the panel system for the portal with her the day before, and runs through it one more time. The system is synced up to their time travel watches; all Ana has to do is press a button to activate it. She’s connected to their coms in case of an emergency and has to pull anyone back before their two minutes are up.

Natasha comes over to pick Alex up, complimenting her hair. “Look at this pretty braid! Did you do that to match your Auntie Nat?”

Alex nods enthusiastically. “Mommy did it!”

“Your mother did mine too,” Natasha pulls her French braid over her shoulder, touching the tail end of it to Alex’s braid. 

“Yeah, after you couldn’t make up your mind,” Ana laughs. “I was halfway through pigtails.”

“When have I ever worn pigtails?” She scoffs.

“You asked for them!”

Natasha winks in good measure, hip checking Ana. She fondly rolls her eyes, handing Nat the time watch from the case Tony kept them in. 

“I wanna go.” Alex pouts, pulling Nat’s face and attention back on her.

“You gotta stay here this time, little monster. But I’ll be right back and I promise I’ll play with you.”  

“Otay,” The little girl sighs sadly. Natasha boops her on the nose then kisses her cheek. “Auntie Nebla!”

Alex launches herself into Nebula’s arm as she passes by, the woman with reflexes quicker than Steve’s catches her. Ana breathes a sigh of relief, shaking her head as she looks up. Your daughter, Bucky , she thinks. She swears she hears a phantom chuckle.

“I wish she’d stop doing that,” Ana groans.

“Takes after her father. I hear super soldiers like jumping off things,” Natasha teases.

“Ha, ha, funny,” Steve shoots at her as he makes his way over.

“Be careful, both you of,” Ana pleads, pulling Nat in for a hug. “You and Clint watch each other’s backs, got it?”

“We always do,” Natasha squeezes her tightly before letting go. “It’ll be the quickest two minutes ever.”

“Tash, lets sync up,” Clint says, pulling her away, not before handing the pot of coffee from the kitchen to Ana and winks.

“What the fuck am I supposed to do with an empty pot, Barton!?” She calls after them.

“Fill it for when I get back!”

“I swear, this group of people.”

Steve shrugs, a smile teasing his lips briefly. “Hey, I know you’re nervous, but it’ll be quick on this side. We know what to do.”

“I know you do,” Ana responds, reaching out for his hand and squeezing. “Doesn't mean you can’t be extra cautious.”

He nods, returning a tight grip before taking his own watch from her. Ana passes the rest out to the team, each bidding a short “see ya later”. Nebula reluctantly hands Alex back, tenderly smoothing back any frizzled hair.

“We’ll be back shortly,” Nebula states, her eyes gleaming with guilt. “Then we can undo what my father has done. I hope assisting in this will be the greatest achievement I’ve done.”

“I have no doubts.” Ana expresses firmly.

“Alright, chop chop, we’re literally on a time crunch,” Tony snarks, pushing Nebula along.

“Rude,” Ana snips, knocking his hand away when he tries to ruffle her head. 

Tony smirks then beckons her onto the platform with them. Taking Alex with her, Ana climbs the few steps, standing between Thor and Scott. The antsy, nervousness of their mission settles over her, making Ana roll her shoulders to release the tension in her muscles. Alex gently pats her hand on her mother’s cheeks. 

Meeting his eyes across the circle, Tony nods at Ana. He puts his hand forward, curling his fingers into a fist, shrugs one shoulder. Steve follows, as does the rest of the team, watches all matching up to their jump points. Thor nudges Ana, shooting her a goofy smile as he grabs her arm. Taking the hint, she puts her own fist in front of her. Alex suddenly leans forward, trying to mimic them, causing a round of soft chuckles. All at once, they drop their arms back to their sides.

“Three years ago we lost,” Steve speaks up, determination laced in his tone. “All of us. We lost friends, we lost family, loved ones. We lost a part of ourselves. Today we have a chance to take it all back. You know your teams, you know your missions. Get the stones, get them back. One round trip each, no mistakes no do overs. Most of us are going somewhere we know, that doesn’t mean you should know what to expect. Be careful, look out for each other. This is the fight of our lives and we’re going to win.” He suddenly meets Ana’s gaze, tilts his head down slightly, before looking over at Tony. “Whatever it takes. Good luck.”

Ana has to take a deep breath to settle her nerves, her palms sweating and she has to readjust Alex in her arms. The toddler waves, earning ones in return, even cracking a few smiles on otherwise stern faces. Rocket offers his fist to the little girl, who eagerly bumps her fist against his. Ana steps off and in front of the control panel. This is happening.

“Ready?” She checks, scanning the dials for the fifth time in front of her. “On my count. In three, two-” She swears a collective steady inhale happens right before.

“See ya in a minute,” Natasha quips with her charming smile. 

“One.”

Ana nearly slams her hand on the button. The machine moves and shifts panels into place, helmets of everyone’s suits coming up to protect them. The panels rotate before spanning out and with a quick flash, they’re gone.

“Magic!” Alex giggles, clapping her hands.

If it weren’t for her excitable daughter, Ana would be crippled with worry. Instead, she claps with her, keeping her eye on the timer. Longest two minutes of her entire life. 

She puts Alex down, shaking out her arms and wiping her hands on her jeans. No words come through her ear piece, which Ana takes as a good sign. She keeps her daughter entertained for the next minute and a half by pretending to search for her stuffed bunny, checking under the panel desk and her own shoe. Finally, only thirty seconds remain.

“Hey, little Bean, want to see your aunties and uncles come back?” Ana questions airily, keeping her tone happy.

“Yes!” Alex shouts, almost running up to the platform. Ana halts her.

“Wait! You have to stay right here, okay? Where it’s safe.”

She nods, moving back to the spot Ana points to, right next to the control panel. Alex bounces on her toes, eagerly anticipating the return of the team by her form of “magic”. Moving back to the panel, Ana hovers her hand over the return button, eyes keen as the seconds tick down. When five seconds hit, she inhales deeply, hoping everyone succeeds. 

3...2...1.

The moment she hits the button, everyone reappears, some staggering behind a split second behind. The panels rotate with their arrival, relief weighing in Ana’s bones. Alex holds up her arms, a silent plea to be picked up and brought to the platform. Ana is about to do just that, when an ominous energy makes her tense. This new feeling, it’s foreign, dangerous, threatening. She quickly scans the platform, her eyes halting on Nebula.

Then, a heart wrenching grief twists sharply throughout her body, punching through her gut. Ana presses her hands against her chest. Shivers run her blood cold, the feeling eerily familiar to the day everyone vanished.

“Mama?” Alex whines softly, tilting her head. Ana clumsily pats her little cheek, her eyes moving from Nebula to the empty space next to Clint. Her heart skips a beat.

“Did we get them all?” Bruce questions hurriedly.

Rhodes holds up a silver orb. “Are you telling me this actually worked?” He sounds ecstatic.

Clint drops to his knees, head tucked to his chest, fists clenched and shaking. Ana cautiously moves forward, hands trembling. The air of loss stings her skin, and she understands, she figured it out, but she can’t voice it just yet. She needs confirmation; maybe, just maybe Natasha is running behind.

“Clint,” Ana chokes outs. “W-where’s Nat?”

The haunted, broken look in his eyes as he slowly meets her gaze, the tears staining his face, is all the answer needed. He looks to Steve then, failure pouring from his body despite the stone clutched in his hand.

*

Clear blue skies mock the heaviness in the air. A gentle breeze brushes over Ana’s skin though she hardly feels it. Her mind is oddly blank while she peers over the lake, sitting on the edge of the dock, fingers digging into the wood. The numbness beginning at her fingertip snakes its way deep into her chest.

Natasha is gone. Her best friend is gone. Her friend who always felt more like her sister, gone. Natasha had just been standing on that platform. Her trademark little smirk and excitement in her green eyes, and two minutes later, she was gone. The spot where she should have returned empty, cold. She had just been there .

“Do we know if she had any family?” Tony inquires solemnly.

Steve clears his throat. “Yeah,” his voice cracks. “Us.”

It didn’t take long for Ana to gently coax Clint off the platform, leading him back through the compound. He hadn’t said a word since returning, not after they changed out of their tactile clothes, not when Ana attempted to offer him a glass of water. Didn’t acknowledge a single one of them until he stood and made his way to the docks in the back. Bruce went after him, quickly followed by Steve, Ana, Tony and Thor. Now, she swallows thickly at Steve’s answer, gritting her teeth as her eyes begin to prickle. Her body still feels numb.

“What was that?” Thor demands behind her. 

“I just asked him a question.” Tony replies, a hard edge to his voice.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re acting like she’s dead,” Thor rambles. “Why are you acting like she’s dead? We have the stones, right? As long as we have the stones we can get her back, right Cap? So stop this shit! We’re the fucking Avengers, get it together!”

Ana dips her head as the voices grow louder behind her.

“We can’t get her back,” Clint finally breaks his grieving silence. “It can’t be undone. It can’t.”

Thor chuckles humorlessly. “No offense, but you are a very earthly being. This is space magic we’re talking about.”

“I know I’m out way outside of my pay grade here, but she’s still not here is she!?”

“That’s my point!”

“It can’t be undone.” Clint reiterates. “Or, that’s at least what the red floating guy had to say. Okay, so maybe you should go talk to him! Go grab your hammer and you go fly and talk to him!”

The painful guttural in his voice makes Ana flinch, a tear escaping as she looks over her shoulder. Clint catches her gaze, his own eyes dry now, but the guilt, the heartbreak shines through.

“It was supposed to me.” He chokes out, turning away. “She sacrificed her life for that goddamn stone, she bet her life on it!”

Bruce suddenly rips a bench from it’s bolts off the dock, aggressively throwing it across the lake. Ana watches land on the other side of the bank. Her fingers curled around the dock glow dimly, the wood singes for a moment before she reels in her powers. Flexing her fingers, the glow fades.

“She’s not coming back,” Bruce states. “We have to make it worth it. We have too.”

“We will.” Steve promises.

The quiet that stretches between them is long, heavy, fragile. Ana finally stands at one point, finally gathering Clint against her for a hug. He reluctantly returns it, face hidden in her hair. She reaches her hand out to Thor, transferring a bit of her own energy to him, whatever positivity she can scrape from the bottom of her own metaphorical barrel despite her own heart shattering with the death of Natasha.

“You know,” She tentatively speaks up. “Alex has been wanting to play with your hair.” She tells Thor. “I bet if you go back in and ask she’d be delighted.”

Sniffing, he offers a watery smile. “I shall do that then.”

Clint detangles himself from Ana’s arms, cupping both sides of her face. He tenderly kisses her forehead, lingering for a split second; conveying his brokenness, his grief, his guilt, his gratitude in knowing what she was subtly attempting to do.

“Don’t go wasting your energy on me now, you hear me?” He murmurs, his green-blue eyes boring into hers. “Take care of yourself, don’t worry about us.”

Frowning, Ana remains silent. Arguing against it would result in defeat. “Okay. I’ll try.”

Another tear catches in his eyelashes before escaping. Clint drops his hand and follows behind Thor without another word. Tony silently checks on her, Ana falling into a tight hug against his chest when he opens his arms. They hold onto each other longer than necessary, silent tears soak into his shirt as her body trembles.

“Steve?” Ana whispers, after she and Tony broke apart.

Immediately he shakes his head, dropping his face in his hands, a broken sob muffled in his palms. Ana rubs his back in soothing circles, the only comfort she can offer him for now. A big, warm hand settles carefully on her shoulder, her hand lifting to rest against Bruce’s knuckles. When she peers up at him, he jerks his head toward the compound, a nonverbal sign to allow Steve some alone time.

She agrees, but not before affectionately brushing back a stray piece of Steve’s hair, and gently patting the top of his head. He catches her elbow in a soft squeeze and turns. Ana opens her arms before he leans into her briefly, giving her a quick sort of hug. The bruise on his cheek has darkened, standing stark against his tears. She releases him, offering a rueful half smile before she walks away.

*

They’re back in the conference room two hours later, everyone minus Thor, Clint and Nebula. Heads are either hidden in folded arms on the desks or tilting back against the chairs. Ana has opted to wear her rings to stabilize the turmoil of energy surrounding her, especially after Alex kept asking where her auntie Nat was. 

Having to explain to the toddler that her favorite person had died nearly broke Ana. Her daughter is a curious little thing, oddly attentive and smart for her age. Alex began asking where Bucky was not too long ago, leaving her mother to say that her father had always been watching over her, gone but never forgotten. In a place they couldn’t reach. Ana tried going along those lines of explaining Natasha’s absence, and how she wouldn’t be coming back.

“But, she pwomised to play with me,” Her little sad voice with her pouting lips made Ana tear up.

“I know, baby girl,” Ana had consoled, gently kissing her forehead. “I know, Jamie. I’m so sorry, love.”

Not even twenty minutes later, Alex asked again. Tony had stepped in to help Ana, breaking it down in a simpler manner. Later he told her he had to explain to Morgan when she was three why the little field mouse she always fed had suddenly died. Ana was grateful for the help and another parental experience.

True to her word earlier, Alex had been distracted by Thor offering his hair up for play. The odd thing was right before that, when the little girl ran past Nebula, she flinched, backed away and ran to Rhodes. Another strange incident occurred before they gathered in the conference room; Alex had refused to be held by the other woman.

The weird moments she mulls over get interrupted in her mind when she abruptly recalls what Steve had said on the dock in response to Bruce.

“How?” Ana whispers. 

“How what?” Tony counters picking his head up. His eyes are bloodshot.

Whoops. She didn’t mean to say that out loud, but since she did she continues.

“How are we going to make it worth it?” She clarifies. “You guys lost the tesseract. You just said that earlier, and your trip to the 70’s was a bust. How do we make sure Nat didn’t die for nothing if we can’t even figure out another place to get the Space Stone?”

The quick look shared between Steve and Tony does not go unnoticed by her.

“I grabbed enough Pym particles for a roundtrip for two, but that’s it. Wherever it is would be the final chance to retrieve it. Absolutely no room for mistakes.”

The snark of Steve saying that the first time and failing dies on her tongue. Instead, Ana huffs, narrowing her eyes. She stands, moving closer to the screen projecting where the stones have been spotted in their timeline. 

“Well, anyone have any ideas then?”

Steve heaves a weighted sigh behind her. “Italy.”

The second the word reluctantly leaves his mouth is when it clicks in her brain. Italy. Italy. Azzano, Italy.

“194-”

“I’m going.” Ana demands, spinning around just as Steve finishes the year.

“-Three. No.”

“I. Am. Going.”

“Absolutely not.” Both Steve and Tony refuse.

She shoots Tony a heated glare before focusing back on Steve. “Funny, because the way I see it, you both failed at getting the Space Stone, twice. I have yet to give it a try-”

“It’s too dangerous!” Steve snaps, slicing his hand through the air as he stands. “This is World War Two territory, Ana. Not some-”

“Choose your words very carefully, Cap .” Ana seethes, stepping closer. “You don’t think I know the possibility of what might happen, of who I might run into? I know the risks. Fuck dangerous. This is bigger than that!”

The flaring of his nostrils, the clench of his jaw, the hands on his hips, Steve is livid. The energy of his emotions radiates off his skin, a turmoil of fear, logic and anger. He exhales slowly.

“Think about Alex,” Steve attempts, his tone forcibly calm.

“I am !” Ana retaliates fiercely. “I always am. This is too big of an opportunity. We have the chance to bring him- to bring everyone back, and cowering in fear from that time frame isn’t going to do that. Now-” She stabs a finger in his chest. “ You aren’t going alone. You need help. I am going.”

Silence settles with tension between them. Steve looks helpless, but admits defeat by hanging his head, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“She’s got a point,” Rocket supplies. “Fresh pair of eyes. Powers would be useful in a tight situation.”

Ana preens with a saccharine smile.

“Fine.” Steve grumbles. “Tony, how quickly can you make her a suit?”

Tony puckers his lips like he’s sucking on something sour. This was probably exactly what he meant when he was asking Ana not to help or put herself in a situation she shouldn’t. He narrows his eyes at her before breaking his stern expression and huffing a laugh. 

“Already made.”

“Perfect!” Ana claps her hands once. “It’s settled. Italy, 1943.”

*******************************************************************************************

AN: Again, sorry for the wait. I struggled so hard writing this chapter, but i am very excited for the next chapter, which I promise will be updated much sooner. Thank you for sticking with me. Thank you for reading and thank you for your patience! Sorry I suck. Also, if you’re American.... VOTE ON NOVEMBER 3RD. Vote. Vote. Vote. Drabbles: Twenty-Six      Drabbles: Twenty-Eight 

Tags:  @thecreatiivecorner @buckyland @stressedasalways @watchoutforfrostbite @justreadingfics @keldachick @eurynome827 @elatedmarvel @shesalatesh @paintedgreywriting @buckaroo-blue @afewmarvelousthoughtsadmin @crushedbyhyperbole @jaxthebookworm @gamorazenn @happinessisaloadedgun @je-suis-prest-rachel @thiccstuxky​

[sixqueendom]

New Fanfic: If Only You Would Listen, Chapter 4

So, after having a few requests to, I’ve decided to post my new fic on here as well as AO3. If you would prefer to read on AO3, I have included the link below!  No real warnings for this one. Just the usual angst I'm sure you've grown accustomed to with my fics if you’ve read any of my previous work!

A huge thank you to Phoebe (@theatergirl06), Lilac (@timetoriseabove) and  Blue (@pen-and-a-microphone) for beta-reading this fic! You  guys are the best! An extra special thank you to Blue (@pen-and-a-microphone) for your support, thoroughness and help with this fic! Without you, my grammar would be tragic and i’d never be able to conjure the right words I want to say! I hope you all enjoy this final chapter! AO3 ------------------

There was a deep sense of nervous anticipation the following morning as, one by one, the Queens came downstairs for breakfast. Jane, as always, was the first to rise. She couldn’t resist peeking into Kitty’s bedroom with baited breath, before her shoulders slumped as her eyes fell onto the neatly made bed. But she clung onto the tiny shred of hope she had left, as she padded downstairs to the kitchen, only for her heart to sink at the sight of the vacant space. Despite this, she soldiered on and prepared breakfast, determined to maintain the usual routine for the others’ sake. The smell of sweet pancakes and toast must have sparked some optimism, as a disheveled Cathy sleepily trudged in next, her eyes hopeful, her hair hastily tied up into a messy bun. But, seeing the room empty besides Jane, her face fell as she slid into a chair at the table. Even Catherine, who always waltzed in breezily each morning, fresh-faced and bright, couldn’t conceal her bitter disappointment, the smile slipping from her lips as she poured herself some tea. 

Finally, a familiar thump at the bottom of the stairs announced Anne’s unceremonious arrival. The reality hit her hardest, her hopes of Kitty having returned home dashed as she froze in the doorway. The others watched as her head dipped in an effort to hide her quivering lip, her hands clenched into fists by her sides as she tried to fight her anguish. Jane slowly lifted herself from her place at the table, casting her a sympathetic look. 

  “Come on, love,” she said, softly, wrapping her arm gently around the girl and guiding her to the seat between herself and Cathy.

  As Anne buried her face in her hands to quietly cry, Cathy abandoned her toast and pulled her closer, resting her head on the younger woman’s shoulder for comfort. Despite the glorious sunshine outside, the solemn mood cast a shadow over the room. Breakfast in the house was usually quite predictable in nature, with each of the women having their preferred times of rising from bed. It was always buzzing with discussion - the exchanging of plans for the day ahead, bubbly laughter in the air from Anne or Kitty - the soundtrack to their everyday life. 

  But today, there was simply silence. 

  The playful skip of an entrance from Kitty, the flash of pink hair, was missing. There was no giggling as she was teased by Anne, no light-hearted roll of the eyes from Cathy when she realised they’d swiped the jar of Nutella, no general banter exchanged as Anna finally made an appearance, barging in to help herself to a slice of toast. Instead, the whole routine was stiff, subdued. Once Anna finally arrived, there was no loud proclamation; the German sank into the nearest seat without a sound, propping her head up with one arm. Catherine made a half-hearted attempt at normality as she flicked distractedly through the pages of her magazine in a futile effort to divert her attention away from the empty chair beside her. The gaping hole where Kitty should be. 

  Finally, Cathy stood wearily, fighting against the heavy feeling that almost overcame her. She made a quick call to their agent to cancel the interview scheduled for later that morning, fabricating a lie about a stomach bug amongst the Queens, before retreating to her bedroom. Jane began to stack the dishes up to wash, Catherine quick to volunteer her help, feeling the need to keep herself occupied. That left Anna and Anne exchanging despondent looks across the table, silently admitting they should probably be going to do something. After a small staring match, it was Anna who finally stood to leave, deciding to move to the lounge to binge-watch TV. Then Anne was alone, her head resting on the table. She had no motivation to move, not without the insistent tug of her cousin to lift her from the table and lead her upstairs. Her legs felt like they were made of lead, her head foggy. She wanted nothing more than to lie there all day. After all, what was the point of doing anything if Kitty wasn’t there?

  Catherine finally broke the silence, turning to face Anne, desperate to try and instill some hope back into the younger woman. 

  “Maybe she’ll turn up for the show this afternoon.” It wasn’t a suggestion, it was a statement. 

  Anne tilted her head, her eyes still red-rimmed and puffy from her earlier tears. Oh, how she hoped Catherine was right. But she still couldn’t shove away the thought that Kitty’s decision had been final; that her patience had run thin, and they had driven her away for good. After all, she didn’t owe them anything, and she certainly had no obligation to turn up for the show today. They would have to call the theatre and arrange for her understudy to be brought in. But even the thought of performing without Kitty there made her heart ache. How could they possibly be expected to continue without her?

  Shaking her head, Anne gave a sigh and silently left the room.

 -------------------

Meanwhile, at the hotel, Kitty had come to the conclusion that her current situation was unsustainable. She couldn’t just stay in a hotel forever, especially not with limited funds. She had no way to support herself, to eat, or to keep safe. And she was getting so lonely.

  She needed her Queens.

But, did they need her? After all, they had been the ones to shun her, push her further away. Picking at her breakfast, Kitty mulled over her options. Part of her felt pulled back to them, like a lifeboat back to shore, to the security of a home and the people that she knew and loved. Everyone deserves a second chance, right? But then, there was also the unrelenting fear that she had irrevocably changed the home dynamics and her relationships with the other Queens. Could things between them ever really go back to the way they were before? When Kitty seriously thought about it, the obvious answer was no. After all, the “normal” she now longed for had also resulted in the dispute and resulting rift. Back in that “normal”, she had felt childish and insignificant. Yet, there had unquestionably been aspects of that familiarity that she’d loved. What she would give now to have a spontaneous, carefree dance off with Anna and Anne in their dressing room, inevitably getting glitter everywhere as they giggled. To have that delicious sweet smell of Jane’s baking floating upstairs on a warm, sunny afternoon, which would bring them all outside to sit on the patio and laugh over lemonade and cakes, the sun shining on their faces. She had felt part of the group then. 

  Then, there was the other part of her, telling her to persevere; she’d made her choice, now it was up to them to deal with the consequences. After all, she’d had no say in being reincarnated in the first place, so what was there to say that she was meant to stay with the other five wives who had also been mistreated and subsequently united by a mutual ex-husband. Maybe she was destined for greater things that didn’t involve them? 

  But again, surely there had been some purpose for them being reincarnated together? Surely that had to mean something? 

  There was also the issue of the show, which she had signed a contract for. She owed it to them to turn up...didn’t she? No, wait, she didn’t owe them anything! Not after the way they treated her! But then, there was the problem of her contract; if she bailed out with no notice, what would happen then? Her reputation would undoubtedly be tarnished.

  Kitty groaned, her head throbbing as her inner thoughts conflicted. She felt free, yet lost , independent, yet painfully lonely. Why couldn’t someone just tell her what was for the best? What path was right for her? This had all happened so fast; she was having to readily make choices most people would have days, if not months, to consider, prior to coming to a decision. 

  She pulled out the photo once more. 

  So, what’s it to be, Kitty? Are you ready to go home, or are you ready to leave them behind?

 --------------------

Having consulted with Jane after Anne had left the room, Catherine decided they should hold off on another search in the morning and, instead, suggest to the others that they go to the theatre as normal. Despite lying to their agent to get out of the interview, it was still plausible that the fictional illness could have subsided in time for an afternoon show. The feedback from the others had mostly been positive; Cathy and Anna seemed hopeful that Kitty might be pulled back to perform. Anne, however, was in denial, finding it impossible to shake the feeling that Kitty’s actions had been final, that she wasn’t coming back. So, with that, the Queens arrived early for their afternoon performance. They tried to stick to their usual pre-show routines, but the atmosphere was quieter than normal, muted. There was no lively chatter or banter between them, no music spilling out from Anna’s portable speaker, which, on most days, would be enough to prompt a spell of singing. 

  The silence was the first thing Kitty noticed as she let herself into the stage door. As she walked down the narrow corridor, approaching the adjoining two dressing rooms, her heart was pounding in her ears. She clamped her eyes shut as she took a deep breath, doubt still gnawing away at her. She prayed that she was doing the right thing, that she would not live to regret this. 

When she peered around the corner into the dressing room she shared with Anne and Cathy, she was stunned to see how solemn and quiet they were, just going through the motions without uttering a word. Kitty felt her heart wrench. Was this about her? Did they really miss her? It was Anne who looked up first, the familiar flash of pink, catching the corner of her eye. Her mouth fell open, her eyes already glistening with tears as she launched herself from her seat, throwing her arms around Kitty in relief, the force almost knocking the wind right out of her. Cathy whirled around, her eyes wide, before breaking into a smile. Kitty could barely breathe, Anne was squeezing her so tightly, but she didn’t argue. If anything, it only confirmed one thing: this was where she was meant to be. Burying her head into her cousin’s shoulder, she too began to cry. 

  After a moment, Kitty pulled away, wiping her eyes. 

  “There’s something I need to do,” she said with conviction, before moving next door. 

  She ignored Catherine and Anna gawping in bewilderment as she entered, not hesitating to walk up to Jane and wrap her in a hug, causing her to gasp in surprise.

  “Oh, Kitty, darling!” she breathed, returning the hug with the same intensity, the tears coming quick. 

  “I’m sorry,” Kitty sobbed into her shoulder, relishing in finally having the feeling of Jane’s comforting arms around her once more. It filled her with love: this was home.

  “No,” Jane shook her head, pulling back and brushing a tendril of hair from Kitty’s eyes. “It’s me who should be sorry. I’ve been too scared to acknowledge that you’re not a girl anymore, that you’re an adult and you should be treated like one.” Jane paused to compose herself, dabbing her eyes with a tissue. “I’ve been so consumed in trying to replicate what I could have had, instead of accepting that’s all in the past now. I’m not your mother, after all, although sometimes I wish I was. I bet you’re thankful I’m not.” Jane chuckled jokingly, which in turn made Kitty smile through her own tears.

  “But that’s just the thing,” Kitty sniffed, bowing her head. “I love nothing more than your hugs, your baking...and I do sometimes wish you were my mum but…” Kitty hesitated, biting her lip as she considered her words carefully. “I...suppose I just want more space? More, um, freedom?”

  Jane nodded in agreement, a smile still on her face. 

  “Maybe we can compromise? I won’t nag at you for what time you’ll be home if I still get to fuss over you, on special occasions?”

  Kitty laughed.

  By this time, all of the Queens had congregated in the room, all surprised and relieved in equal measure.

  “We all owe you an apology too,” Cathy admitted, standing tall. 

  “We never meant to ever make you feel insecure, or that your words were less valued than anyone else’s. You’re every bit a part of this family as anyone else,” Catherine said, wrapping her in a brief hug, giving her shoulders a reassuring squeeze as she moved back. “And, I’m sorry. For being so harsh on you.”

  Anna stepped forward, wringing her hands. “We really missed you. I want you to know that I’d never, ever wish you weren’t here. You’re a vital part of our slightly dysfunctional family.” The comment prompted several chuckles. “What i meant to say is...I’m so sorry, Kit. I never wanted to drive you away.”

  Kitty pulled the German close. 

  It left only Anne, who stood rather forlornly in the middle of the room, distractedly picking at her fingernails. After a moment, her gaze lifted to meet Kitty’s eyes.

  “I think I probably owe you the biggest apology,” she mumbled, ashamedly. “It was my idea to stop discussing certain things in front of you. I just...wanted to protect you, not realising that you are more than capable of holding your own. I didn’t mean for it to go this far, for you to feel like you weren’t a part of us, like we were talking behind your back all the time. I would never have suggested it in the first place if I’d known how much that would hurt you.”

  Kitty tilted her head in sadness, watching as Anne began to crumple in front of her, shame bringing yet more tears to her cousin’s eyes. 

  “Oh, Annie…” 

  She hurried over to envelop her in a reassuring hug. 

  “I know you were all just looking out for me. I don’t blame you for suggesting it either. I mean...we all don’t like talking about our past sometimes.” She nuzzled her face into Anne’s shoulder. “I know you were just trying to stop me getting hurt.”

  Feeling a heavy weight being lifted off of her shoulders, Anne sunk further into Kitty’s hug, a smile breaking out on her face. “Beheaded cousins...right?”

  Kitty grinned, pulling away and giving her hand a gentle squeeze, with a wink. “Right.”

  It was like the entire room breathed a sigh of relief, the air finally clearing. But Kitty wasn’t finished. She looked around at all of the Queens.

  “I want you all to know I’m sorry, too. I should never have run away like that, leaving you all worried.” She gazed purposefully at Catherine. “You were right, I should have taken a more mature approach to my problems. I shouldn’t have raised my voice like that and said what I did. I was just feeling so...lost. Like I wasn’t that important because I wasn’t included in all your conversations. I just wanted the chance to speak up, to feel more included, not left to feel like I was just like a little kid who was incapable of making their own decisions. Some of the topics that come up, sure, they’ll be hard. But I can handle them now. And, if I’m not having such a good day, or I feel like something might get upsetting, I’ll just walk away.”

  The Queens listened intently, giving Kitty their undivided attention. It was the first time in a while that they had all listened to what she had to say, and they knew, now more than ever, how important it was. As Kitty continued, they made motions of encouragement

  “Whilst I was away, I realised that I really needed you all. I missed every single one of you.” As she spoke, she turned to each Queen in turn. 

  “Jane, believe it or not I missed your comfort, your hugs. I just wanted you to tell me that everything was going to be okay.”

  She held out her hand, pulling the older woman close to her.

  “Cathy, when I couldn’t sleep I wished so desperately that I could sneak into your room and just talk, about everything and anything.” The writer gave her a warm smile, a glint in her eye. They would do that again soon.

“Anna, I missed your jokes; you always know how to make me laugh and cheer me up when I’m down.” The German was quick to ruffle her hair at the comment, pulling her closer to give her a squeeze.

“Catherine, I actually love getting to spend some mornings with you and you do give the best fashion advice.“ Kitty watched as the older woman’s face lit up, genuinely touched by the words. When Catherine didn’t move, Kitty beckoned her over to join the rest of the group.

Finally, Kitty turned to her cousin. “And Anne, well...who would I cause trouble with if it wasn’t with you?

At that, Anne practically flung herself forwards, and the youngest girl was suffocated in the tightest group hug she had ever felt. With the final piece of the puzzle in place, she felt like she could finally breathe again.

 They were interrupted by the half an hour call over the tannoy.

 At that, Anne scurried off, before quickly re-appearing with Kitty’s costume in hand, a huge smirk on her face. 

“So, what do you say, Kit? Ready to be a Queen again?”

[fortunatelyhauntedblackcherry]

Moonshine - A Beetlejuice Fanfiction 09

Warning: swearing (as always), BJ being horny, fire hazard.

The next day was monday, and every monday night since the girls moved together years ago was movienight. They prepared dinner together, bought a shitton of snacks, sat down on the floor in the living room and watched at least 2 movies. Most of the time they fell asleep during the third one.

So they were all in their kitchen, which had pretty peach-colored walls, a big window framed by curtains with various embroidered wildflowers on them, and olive green / beige french country-style kitchen furniture. Rei was making guacamole - which Sirius made quite a hard activity with all the jumping and whining for a piece of chips or basically anything delicious - while Sofía was talking about her business dinner from last night and Ari was sitting on the countertop, in the middle of the kitchen, eating Nutella out of a jar with a skull-shaped spoon. Minerva was laying beside her on her back, playing with a piece of breadcrust, getting occasional earscratchies.

- So I was like "No go amigo, I couldn't possibly share an exhibition with them" and my manager was like "why?" and I was like "because I'd have to be talkative and cute with them and man I couldn't" and he was like "but they are respected artists in the community" and I was like "yeah but they can't even use photoshop MICHAEL how could I work with people who are sooo past century"? - said Sofía, flipped her hair and took a sip out of her lemonade. - So yeah, he arranged the whole thing and now my coworkers for the next couple exhibitions will be not so known, but rising photographers instead of old people, isn't that awesome? - all of a sudden Minerva lifted her head up, pricked her ears and started to hiss in the entrance's direction.

Beetlejuice just arrived after his hunt for bugs in the winter garden. He was leaning against the entrance archway, and shaked his head in disappointment.

- I can't believe that you still hate me this much, you waste of fur. - the cat hissed harder. - What?!? Two can play this game, if you're not nice, I won't be either! - he pointed at Sirius, who let out one bark, then continued harassing Rei. - Look, even the dog got kinda used to me!

- I wonder what her problem is. - said Sofía while Ari pulled the kitty into her embrace.

- That's the point where you should tell them that "yeah she sees my demon buddy, yeah, we have a spectre, and I can hear him!" - said Beetlejuice in a girlish voice while he stepped closer to Ari. The girl stroked the slightly hissing Minerva, who was now laying on her lap. Ari licked her Nutella-covered spoon clean. Beetlejuice stopped in his movement and his jaw slightly dropped. He started to drool a bit. - Hooooly shit babes, it seems like you know how to turn my software into a hardware!

Ari blushed a bit and tried really hard not to giggle so she started to talk.

- ANYWAY... - that was way louder than she intended, so she cleared her throat - ...what did you do last night, Rei? - knowing exactly what happened to her poor sister (since after she got better, Beetlejuice told her everything), she was just curious if she would talk about the posession of her computer. Rei's ginger hair flew over her face as she turned to Ari and put the guacamole down to the countertop.

- Well you could say I was practicing poetry, since Robert Lewis Stevenson insisted that wine is bottled poetry, but to be honest after streaming I was just drinking and wondering what I wanted to be when I grew up... I'm sure it wasn't an anxiety ridden bitch disgusted by people with a wine problem, serving exactly those whom I disgusted by, but... - she put her hands up in the air - ...here I am! - she giggled as she turned to the fridge.

- So I suppose your "fans" were mean again? - asked Sof. Rei took some cheese out of the fridge, and scoffed while giving a piece to the very excited Sirius.

- Not mean, fuckin nasty. - she shut the fridge and rubbed the bridge of her nose under her glasses. - I mean, some of them spammed my IG DMs with requests of "please send me the bra you wore during today's stream, I saw the strap and I'm hooked", like... Ugh.

- Can't judge a man for wanting some lingerie from a pretty girl, that's my opinion. - said Beetlejuice while he hopped on the counter next to Rei.

- Jesus fuck people are weird... - commented Ari as she got off of the middle countertop. Minerva ran away to upstairs.

- Oh so that's the socially acceptable opinion now? Okay wait... - Beetlejuice cleared his throat and continued in a sarcastic manner, heavily gesturing while doing so. - OH YES PEOPLE ARE AWFUL UGH DISGUSTING EW HOW COULD SOMEONE ASK ANYTHING LIKE THAT EWEWEW. - his voice went back to normal as he looked at Ari, who just hugged Rei. - Was it good and totally believable? - Ari smiled and gave him a thumbs up behind her sister's back. - God I'm good! On the other hand, did I tell you that when I walked into Rei's room yesterday, I almost tripped on a bra? You could say... - he floated next to Ari's ear. The girl could feel his icy breath on her earlobe. - ...it was a booby trap. - Ari shut her eyes and bit her lower lip while smiling widely. - SERIOUSLY HOW ARE YOU NOT LAUGHING YOUR PRETTY ROUND ASS OFF, THAT WAS PHENOMENAL!!! - Ari let Rei go and went to one of the cupboards. Rei poured herself a glass of red wine.

- I don't even know why I'm getting upset by these kinds of shits anymore. I've been doing this job for years, I should be used to creeps. - she shrugged. - Eh, whatever, it felt nice to vent.

- And we're here to listen every time! - shouted Ari, head inside one of the lower cupboards, fistbumping the air. After some rummaging, she lifted her head out. - Hey guys, where did we put the ultimate bathbomb?

- What? - asked Sofía with a tilted head.

- The toaster. Obviously. - BJ slapped his knees as he started laughing.

- Gee, doll, that was good! Your humor is getting worse and worse under my influence and I'm living for it! - he scratched his head. - Wait, is that appropriate for me to say? Or should I say I'm dying for it? Since I'm dead? - he shrugged his shoulders. - I dunno both sound good.

After Sof got the machine out of one of the highest cupboards, Ari started making grilled cheese sandwiches. Beetlejuice floated right next to her and flashed a pretty evil, toothy grin. He wriggled his fingers while looking up at the ceiling lamp, which started to flicker. The girls quickly looked at each other but didn't say a thing. BJ giggled. Ari stuck the toaster's plug into the power outlet, which instantly made it sparkle. One of the sparkles fell on Ari's hand. She quickly got it away with a quiet "ouch", and looked at where Beetlejuice's very uproarious laugh came from. The angry face she made almost made the demon tear up.

- What? You thought I'd never mess with ya, doll? After seeing this face, I'll do it even more often, you angry little toddler you... - and with that, the lights flickered again.

- Am I hallucinating or did ya see that too? - asked Sofi, pointing at the lamp.

- Maybe it's just bad wiring... - said Rei, with a rather nervous chuckle. She didn't sound believable at all. - It's nothing to worry about...

- Oh so you think I'm nothing to worry about?! - said Beetlejuice with annoyement in his voice. - You underestimate me, little one. - he pointed at the chandelier in the living room and the lamp in the kitchen. They both started to shine and flicker in the same rhythm. The girls looked at each other.

- I'm pretty sure that's not bad wiring... I think... - one of the light bulbs in the living room shattered, stopping Ari for a moment. They all ducked as the light bulb in the kitchen exploded. - I THINK THIS HOUSE REALLY IS HAUNTED!!!

- THANK YOU! FINALLY! - shouted Beetlejuice, his eyes and his neon green hair glowing. - I'M FINALLY GETTING THE RECOGNITION I DESERVE!

- IT'S NOT, GHOSTS ARE NOT REAL! - shouted Rei, while trying to help Ari get hold of the angrily barking Sirius.

- It's scientifically proven that they are... - commented Sof.

- Shut up, I'm not superstitious like you two! I mean sure, weird things are happening in the house, like my PC acting strange, or the hairdryer sucking Sofi's hair in, but I'm sure there's a logical explanation!

Beetlejuice grinned like a maniac.

- Oh baby you really want logical explanation? You think there's any logic to ME? Then watch... This! - the demon cracked his fingers and chuckled as he looked at the plugged in toaster. Ari looked at the voice's direction and gasped when she saw what Beetlejuice was doing. The toaster's heating wires were glowing red hot, and an awful stench came from the machine. The smell of burning plastic.

- OH FUCKIN HELL!!!

- Who doesn't like a bit of electrical fire? - said Beetlejuice, laughing, looking at the infurious Sof. Ari quickly jumped up and started to go through the drawers quickly. Sof was quicker, she handed her the oven mittens, which Ari put her hands into and lifted the now flaming toaster.

- Okay... Now what? - Rei jumped up in panic too.

- What what?!?

- Where do I put it?!

- ARIADNÉ, YOU JUST LIFTED THIS FLAMING SHIT UP WITHOUT A PLAN?!?!?!?!

- I'M NOT A VERY BRIGHT WOMAN, OKAY?!?!?!? - Rei opened up the window and pulled the curtains back.

- THROW IT OUT!!! - Ari quickly threw the machine out of the window, into the birdbath that was under it. The flames started to fade and the girls let out a huge, relieved breath.

- Welp... I may sound like a hypocrite but... After this I think we're haunted. - Sofía and Ari both looked at Rei.

- You said, literally a minute ago, and I quote, that you are not superstitious like us two. - Rei threw her hands up in the air.

- I'm not superstitious! But I'm a... Umm a little bit stitious.

- Do you seriously think this is a right time for Office quotes? - asked Sof, with folded hands and an eyeroll.

- Hey this is how I cope! Toasters don't start spitting flames normally, man! That shit scared the living Hell out of me!

Ari bit her lower lip. A faint idea crossed her mind.

- Ummm... I think we should ask our presence what do they want. - the girls and Beetlejuice both looked at Ari with lifted eyebrows. - Sof, don't you have an Ouija board? We could ask them stuff and maybe help them out. So they won't cause trouble like this again. - Beetlejuice covered his smiling mouth with his hands.

- OHMYGOD BABES THAT'S A GREAT IDEA! I never tried playing with those things but...

- Okay let's do it. - stated Rei decidedly. - Sofía! Get your Ouija board. We're adjourning movienight. Let's ask this bitch what the everliving fuck is their problem!

[seven-oomen]

I’m sorry you’re still feeling exhausted.  I hope work wasn’t too terrible today, and that the weekend lets you rest up a bit (if you get normal weekends.  working in retail I try not to assume.)  Also, this is likely to just be a short(-ish) collection of unconnected musings, but I felt like sharing them anyway, and really you should be used to that from me at this point.  XD  So, first off that tree painting is GORGEOUS.  I mean, I tend to be kinda partial to that whole tree silhouette type aesthetic, so I’m probably slightly biased.  But still.  (And the background shading… <3 )  Also, ngl, the backlit keyboard keeps making me think of that video of Henry Cavill assembling his new computer that’s making the rounds.  That is not meant as a complaint of any sort, mind you, merely an observation.

Speaking of hot scruffy dudes who are actually massive dorks, did you SEE Ian’s most recent Insta pic?!  (the non-cowboy hat one)  Omg, I don’t know why he keeps complaining about how it’s starting to look like TW Season One hair like it’s some sort of bad thing.  (The longer the hair, the better the grip you can get. […uh…wait, what?… ’>.> ])  That pic just screams OUAT sequel to me.  Out here looking all shaggy and windblown and peaceful and content.  Proud Alpha Dad Peter spending quality time with his family/pack.  How very dare he spring this on an unsuspecting public with no warning?  I was not prepared.  (Also, Sinqua and Holland commenting on it just ups the adorable factor that much more.)

Also, was looking at a few sites lately in consideration of ordering a few more masks for work, found this print on one of them and almost laughed myself absolutely stupid.  I don’t know why it was just so funny to me, but I hope it cheers you as much as it did me.  Btw, it’s available on an impressive variety of items, including two types of notebooks, t-shirts, mugs, blankets, pillows, beach towels, shower curtains, rugs, bath mats, several styles of bags, phone cases, and assorted types of wall art (sadly not on a mask, however.  I was deeply disappointed.)  I can see any number of items ending up in the Haleargentski household, bought by assorted non-wolf members for assorted wolf members, because they are a family of assholes.  (I feel like the first gift was a travel mug to Peter from his darling husbands, then a t-shirt [on black ofc] from Peter to Derek, and then it just all snowballed from there.)

Today’s literally-just-appeared-out-of-nowhere-wtf-brain thought is (much like the French maid thing) definitely of the nsfw variety, so consider yourself duly warned if you have a shift today.  Because I mean we talked about Chris and Noah using toys on each other, but why should Peter get left out of the fun?  There are plenty of ways for him to enjoy them, too.  Like, pretty much the initial spontaneous thought was “Peter getting pulled into someone’s lap and being pegged within an inch of his life until he comes screaming down the throat of whichever one is going down on him at the same time."  And I was just like "not sure what this has to do with this video of how to make a ukelele out of colored pencils, but continue."  But like, no really.  Peter being knotted in one of them while the other uses beads or a (vibrating) plug on him?  (Which one is the asshole who momentarily turns the vibration up high enough that they BOTH can feel it?)  Or using those, or some kind of prostate massager, while he’s tied up and watching them with each other?  Bonus points in that situation for anything remote controlled.  See just how good his control really is.  Equal opportunity toy usage is what I’m saying, basically.

Also had a thought inspired by a pregnant friend and her fiance raving about a local pizza place’s monthly special, which is a pickle pizza (no really).  I may or may not have asked her if she had it with ice cream (I totally did, but apparently she’s past that point.)  So I was wondering about any weird or specific cravings the boys have while pregnant.  I remember Chris having a thing about chocolate pudding in the flashbacks.  Was it only a certain type of pudding, or would any kind do?  Were there any others he had?  Did he have the same ones with Ben or different?  What about Noah?  What sort of cravings did he get, if any?  And did they vary between sets of twins?  Did anybody go the aforementioned pickles and ice cream route?  Anybody dipping fries in Nutella?  Onion straws in peanut butter?  Doritos in cottage cheese?  Anybody eat salsa straight out of the jar?  Did anybody get any sudden absolute need for a specific fast food at two in the morning?  Or suddenly want a type of snack food only carried at one truck stop halfway past the next town?  Anybody spend several days eating nothing but veggie trays, including ones they normally can’t stand?  Anybody develop a temporary aversion to certain things, like coffee (feels like it would be a terrible thing for either of them)?  Did Peter cater to their every whim in any and all of these situations?  (I already know that answer.)  Did either one ever get demanding about it, or did they go the more passively-wistful-won’t-stop-mentioning-it route?  Side note; did anyone (not family) ever catch the wrong end of hormones now backed by even more combat and/or magical ability?  (Debbie at the bake sale best step off or she gonna regret a number of her life choices.)

Uh…I think that was the last of the random swirling questions/musings/headcanons for now…  I hope you feel a bit better today, and that the time off (I think you mentioned some time off?) is helpful.  Enjoy your time with your friend (that was this weekend, right?).  If you’ve got ideas for writing stuff, but are having trouble getting them down, would making quick notes/reminders, or voice recordings, for later help?  Like, so you don’t worry about losing them, but aren’t forcing yourself to do something you don’t feel up for at the time?  Either way, congrats on keeping up with the journaling (and the pretty, pretty art), and I hope tracking everything proves helpful.  And remember, other people’s bullshit issues and hang-ups are in no way your fault (no matter what they try to tell you), and you deserve all the good things.  Take care!  *Hugs to both of you!* 

Yeah, honestly I think I hit that point in my life again where my battery is drained and I can’t restart it. Which is how I got my burn out at first and working towards another one. Heh but I also don’t want to give up now and just keep working for a little longer because my contract expires at the end of September and yeah.. 

Stress.

Aww gosh thank you, yeah I really like how that one turned out! It was better than expected.

Btw if you’re into Zombie apocalypse stories (I am) you should definitely check out The girl with all the gifts. It’s so brutal but also interesting, I definitely enjoyed that. (And it was research for my own book)

Lol I love this keyboard and this laptop, really, it was the most expensive thing I ever bought but it’s so worth it. Still runs super smooth after 2 years. I don’t think I’ve seen that video of Henry though. 

And omg yes I did and it’s the best thing. he looks so SOFT omg. I def got  OUAT S2 vibes from that. And OUAT vibes. Also that pic of him with Colton, omg. Those were the best!

THAT PRINT!!!! I nearly snorted coffee out of my nose this morning but managed to swallow it down just in time. My work computer would have suffered caffeine damage otherwise XD.

But yeah, that becomes a running gag for sure!

Because I mean we talked about Chris and Noah using toys on each other, but why should Peter get left out of the fun?  There are plenty of ways for him to enjoy them, too.  Like, pretty much the initial spontaneous thought was “Peter getting pulled into someone’s lap and being pegged within an inch of his life until he comes screaming down the throat of whichever one is going down on him at the same time."

*cheff’s kiss* 

Yes.

Oh the images are so good. Remind me to write them out in detail tomorrow after the zoo trip.

Also parking the pregnancy cravings to answer tomorrow since it’s past midnight and I should catch some sleep before I need to be up again. But I will definitely type that HC out.

Side note; did anyone (not family) ever catch the wrong end of hormones now backed by even more combat and/or magical ability?  (Debbie at the bake sale best step off or she gonna regret a number of her life choices.)

Ohhh Debbie’s toast. Because yes, Noah’s magic is that much stronger when it’s fueled by pregnancy hormones and Chris turns into a very protective hormonal fighting machine. Low center of gravity has advantages when you’re in a squabble with the Karens.

And yeah, I have four days off right now. Which means I don’t have to work until Thursday again. Which is awesome!

But yeah work wasn’t too bad, I had to do one bad news conversation which fucking sucked since there was nothing I could do and nobody I could get a hold off to fix the problem for that customer and it was just a waiting game. I hate those conversations. I honestly do.

Most of it was quiet though and I got to leave an hour earlier due to the quiet day. So that was good. And I watched a movie while being paid (The girl with all the gifts) so that was pretty fun too XD

I actually voice record a lot already. I find it really helps with clearing my mind and I write a lot of stuff down. But I appreciate the tip!

Lots of cuddles from me and Mo and I hope your day went by well. <3

[artificialqueens]

Study Break (Branjie) -Peridot

A/N: I don’t really know where this came from, and it’s a little late seeing exam season is over for most people, but here’s a fluffy teen Branjie au that is partially based off of a friend of mine. Sorry if it seems a little rushed. Let me know what you think of this lil story (either here or on my side blog @peridot-aq). Hope you enjoy!

It was about 3am when Brooke realised that her back was hurting.

It was no surprise to her. After all, she’d been sitting in close to the exact same position since about 11 the previous morning- bent over the small desk in her bedroom, trying to cram years worth of information into her brain all at once. And she had been bent over for a similar amount of time the day before. And the day before that. And the day before that.

What was more surprising was that she was only noticing the pain now. She supposed she’d been too distracted by Henry the Eighth and all six of his wives to notice.

She stood up and stretched out her arms, trying to ease the discomfort slightly when she heard her phone buzz. It took her by surprise, and she jumped slightly at the sudden noise of the vibrations against the wooden desk. She tapped on her phone and read the short message that illuminated the screen.

V: mandatory text to make sure you’re not still studying

Brooke smiled to herself. Vanessa knew her too well. It wasn’t the first time she’d caught her revising into the depths of the night. She decided not to reply -favouring ignoring the text to facing Vanessa’s inevitable disappointment- but another persistent message came through a few seconds after.

V: I can see you’ve read it, bitch Shit. In her sleep-deprived state, that hadn’t occurred to Brooke. She quietly chuckled as she pattered out a quick reply.

B: …oops?

V: BROOKE LYNN HYTES I SWEAR TO GOD V: call me Brooke pushed in her office chair and flopped onto her bed, finally giving in and abandoning her hours of work. She felt guilty in doing so, as if she was betraying her own ambitions in favour of a phone call with a friend. But, God knows that Brooke needed that phone call to set her straight.

She quickly scrolled through her contacts, finding Vanessa’s name towards the bottom of the list accompanied by several purple heart emojis that Vanessa had added when she’d put her number into the phone. She tapped ‘call’, the sound of Vanessa’s loud voice filling Brooke’s ears after just one ring.

“Bitch, why the hell are you awake!”

Brooke’s phone wasn’t on speaker, but the sheer volume of Vanessa shouting down the phone was enough to fill the silence of her bedroom.

“Keep it down a little, my parents are asleep.”

“You should be too, bitch! I’ve told you before to give yourself a break, you’re gonna burn yourself out if you keep doing this.”

Although Brooke knew that Vanessa was right (and she was already feeling the effects of weeks of revision taking a toll on her body), she still made a weak attempt to defend her decision. “I’m just really stressed out about history, I don’t know anything and my parents will kill me if I don’t get an A.”

“You know that’s not true. They love you, they’ll be proud of you no matter what, you know that. And there’s no way in hell you don’t know anything. You haven’t left your damn house in like two weeks!”

“Hey, I went grocery shopping yesterday!”

Vanessa cursed on the other side of they phone, making Brooke smile. “That doesn’t count.”

“Uh, it a hundred percent does. I was out of the house and I got a two for one deal on strawberry laces, thank you very much.”

Vanessa’s laughter crackled from Brooke’s phone, echoing in the silence of her dark bedroom. Her laugh was wild and addictive, making Brooke chuckle quietly to herself alongside her.

“You better have saved some for me.”

“Sorry V, they’re all gone.”

“Thought you got two for one?”

“I ate both of them earlier,” Brooke announced almost proudly. “I can’t believe you would doubt my ability to eat two full packets in a day. That really hurts my feelings, you know.”

“I hate you,” she joked, Brooke able to clearly picture the eye roll that most likely accompanied Vanessa’s words. “Tell you what, though- I’ll buy you another packet if you come on a picnic with me tomorrow.”

Brooke sighed. “I can’t do tomorrow, I have to study.”

“No you don’t, bitch. You’ve been studying 24/7, you probably have the whole textbook memorised.”

“But it’s my last exam and it’s in less than a week and if I put in the hard work now then maybe down the road I’ll be-“

“Fuck hard work. You deserve a break. And it’s only a picnic, it’s not like I’m getting you wasted.”

Brooke paused for a moment, feeling a dull pang of guilt in her stomach as she let herself be convinced by Vanessa. “Fine. But I’m only coming out for a couple hours, no longer.”

“Yay! Be at mine for like 12, “ Vanessa gushed, her happiness very apparent from just a subtle change in her vocal timbre.”I knew you’d come around to it.”

“Hey, I’m only coming for the strawberry laces.”

Vanessa couldn’t manage to suppress her laughter on the other end of the line, a warm buzz in Brooke’s ear. “Whatever, bitch. Now get some damn sleep.”

Brooke wished she could say that she slept well that night.

The next morning Brooke’s tired eyes fluttered open at 10am, her head weighing her down like a paperweight as she tried to sit up against the headboard. She rubbed her eyes, blinking as her eyes adjusted to the light streaming through her curtains. Her head was cloudy. It still swirled with waves of fatigue that still remained after a poor night’s sleep, full of stress and worry and seemingly endless hours of staring at the ceiling. She was so fucking tired. Even if she had gone to sleep at a reasonable hour, her fears of failure would have been enough to disturb her rest. Each heavy blink willed her to give in to her exhaustion and let her head fall back onto the pillow, each yawn pulling her back into unconsciousness for just a moment. But, checking the time on her phone, she managed to convince herself to get up. She had plans, after all. The first plans she’d had in weeks.

She swung her feet onto the cold wooden floor and stretched her arms far above her head, feeling dizziness wash over her for a second or two before the blood rushed back to her brain. As she stretched she once again became acutely aware of the discomfort in her back. She’d have to get someone to check that out.

Her feeling of tiredness followed her as she took a shower, the warm water that broke over her head only lulling her back into relaxation. It followed her as she got dressed, as she tied up her still wet hair into a ponytail, and as she swiped concealer over her the purple circles under each of her eyes, her body feeling worn out and weary the whole morning.

As she started to make her way out of her bedroom her eye caught her desk, littered with pink and green flash cards and textbooks and crumpled paper. The neon highlighters that were scattered on its wooden surface seemed aggressively bright in her sleep-deprived state. An impulse told her to sit down, grab a pen and start her cycle of work over again, but thoughts of Vanessa pulled her out of the trance, convincing her it was a bad idea. So, she waltzed through her bedroom door, any hope of productivity abandoned, for a few hours at least.

She gathered her keys, sunglasses and a few coins into a small bag and quickly grabbed a punnet of strawberries and a jar of Nutella from the fridge- a poor excuse for a picnic contribution but the best she could do so last minute- and tossed them into an old plastic bag. She scribbled out a note on a scrap piece of paper telling her parents where she’d gone, and with only a small amount of guilt, left the house.

Brooke knocked on Vanessa’s door, now feeling not only groggy but also hungry, realising she’d skipped breakfast. Her solution was clear, however, when Vanessa arrived at the door with a very large basket bundled up in her arms, tin foil wrapped packages practically spilling out from underneath the lid. She greeted Brooke with a warm smile and yelled out a goodbye to her mother inside the house before stumbling down the front step, the large basket in danger of toppling her over.

Vanessa set the basket on the ground and threw her arms around Brooke, her excitement discordant with Brooke’s fatigue. Brooke leaned into the embrace, resting her cheek against Vanessa’s dark hair as she squeezed her waist and nuzzled into the taller girl’s shoulder.

“Hey, sis. You ready?” Vanessa asked, breaking the hug to attempt to lift the huge basket once again.

“Yup,” Brooke replied with a nod. “You need a hand with that?”

“Please.”

Brooke bent down and hauled it up and onto her shoulder, straining slightly under its sheer weight but insisting to Vanessa that it wasn’t a problem. “You went a little overboard with the food,V. We’re never gonna eat all that.”

“What can I say, my mamma’s Latina, she likes to cook,” Vanessa giggled as the two started to walk down the street.

They strolled together for a few minutes until they reached a small park nearby Vanessa’s neighbourhood. Red-painted fences surrounded the area, complete with flower beds and cobbled paths and grass that seemed too green and too striking to be real. Vanessa picked a spot underneath a large tree, branches and blossoms and hundreds of green leaves providing a little shade from the bright July sunshine. She dug into the basket which Brooke had quickly discarded onto the ground and produced a blue tartan blanket, attempting several times to spread it out onto the grass without it folding underneath itself. Brooke laughed, enjoying the visual of the small girl wrestling with the fabric. When Vanessa finally succeeded (after a few profanities and a little help from Brooke), the two climbed onto the blanket, Vanessa leaning against the tree and Brooke sitting cross-legged opposite her.

“Oh, almost forgot,” Vanessa mumbled. Brooke watched her reach into her back pocket before tossing a red packet her way, hitting her square in the face and making Vanessa chuckle.

The strawberry laces.

“I’m a woman of my word.”

Brooke laughed to herself as she was reminded of their deal. “Thanks, bitch.”

The sweets were quickly forgotten, however, as the two dove into the basket Vanessa’s mother had prepared. Brooke’s Nutella and strawberries were abandoned in the bottom of her bag, easily replaced by homemade burritos and croissants with jam and sandwiches. She ate as much as she could, savouring each rich taste on her tongue, until she was sure she couldn’t eat anymore. Despite the two having barely made a dent in Vanessa’s stash, they were both satisfied, Brooke becoming even more tired as a result.

They talked a little more, basking under the heat of the sun, their conversation turning back to school and exams.

“I’m really happy you’re taking a break, bitch.”

“I guess I am too. I like spending time with you.”

Vanessa flashed her a grin, her nose scrunching up at the compliment. “Good. You deserve some time to yourself, you’ve been stressing yourself out.”

“Yeah, I have. It’s been hell. Bending over my desk has started to hurt my back, too.” Brooke laughed at her statement, but Vanessa seemed less than pleased.

“Hold up, bitch. You’re telling me you’ve been studying enough to make your back hurt?”

Brooke bit her lip, holding back a laugh at seeing Vanessa get worked up. “Yeah, but it’s not a big deal.”

“Yes it is, Miss Brooke Lynn! Exams are bad enough for your mental health, I can’t have your physical health getting fucked up too.”

Brooke couldn’t help but giggle a little, failing to see the importance of Vanessa’s point. “I’m fine, V, really.”

“Oh no you’re not. That’s it. C’mere. I’m giving you a back massage.”

Brooke’s small giggle grew into a full belly laugh, finding the idea of Vanessa karate chopping into her back a very comedic prospect. Regardless, Vanessa pulled Brooke’s wrist until she had manoeuvred her to lean back against her, her own back still resting on the tree trunk.

Vanessa’s first movements were tentative and gentle grips onto Brooke’s shoulders, making her shift and wriggle, unable to suppress her fits of giggles. Vanessa became increasingly frustrated at her for not taking it seriously, which only made Brooke want to wind her up more. She was cute when she agitated.

“Brooke Lynn Hytes I swear….. quit squirming, bitch, this is supposed to be relaxing!”

She smirked to herself. “I am relaxed. You seem to be pretty worked up, though.”

“Shut up already.”

“You can’t make me,” Brooke teased.

In one quick motion Vanessa pushed Brooke up slightly and leaned over her, her face hovering centimetres above Brooke’s. Without warning she pressed a kiss into her lips. Brooke’s heart jumped in surprise, all of her senses going into overdrive. It was unexpected, addictive, exciting, and made Brooke want to hold her close like she’d never thought about before. She was suddenly aware of the beauty of her the girl in front of her- dark eyes and golden skin, the softness of her cheek and her hair against her skin, and the perfect cherry lips that were connected to her own. She relaxed into the kiss, closing her eyes and deepening it for just a second before Vanessa pulled away, the heart-stopping moment ending two seconds after it had started.

That shut her up, alright.

She found a smile creeping onto her face, mirrored by Vanessa’s own grin. Her mind was buzzing, unable to form a coherent sentence but willing her to speak, to say something. “Vanessa… you should’ve, I… I didn’t know-“

“Shush, not now baby. We can talk about it later. Now I just want you to relax, okay?” Vanessa spoke softly in her ear, bringing Brooke down from the electric moment with a hand on her hair.

Brooke found her tired body leaning back against Vanessa almost subconsciously, this time appreciating the comfort and safety of Vanessa’s arms around her as she resumed her rubbing on her back. Any thoughts of exams or stress were forgotten. Instead, her thoughts were consumed by Vanessa. She focused on everything around her, trying to take in as much as she could and commit the experience to memory.

The smell of grass and fresh air and Vanessa’s perfume.

The sound of the wind and the leaves and Vanessa’s words in her ear.

The feeling of the sun on her skin and Vanessa’s right hand on her shoulder and her left stroking her hair.

The cherry taste of Vanessa’s lips still lingering on hers.

And before she knew it, her heavy eyelids fluttered closed and she slipped into a dream, finally giving in to the tiredness that had been with her all day. Vanessa held her close and planted a small kiss on the top of Brooke’s head.

“Sleep well, Brooke.”

[purplesurveys]

378

For a change. I love Internet people for never running out of survey ideas.

Just say what you think of (doesn't have to be one-word answers) when I mention these. Quick, simple, just for fun. Curtain: I remember a story JM told us of when he nearly burned his house down when he was younger - he was flying paper airplanes but not without lighting the tips on fire. One of the planes landed on the curtain and I think it burned that particular room pretty bad or something. Door: I have a door to my right at the moment. It’s brown and I know my dog is waiting outside because I can hear his paws. Shoe: We went shoe hunting yesterday for Joacky, because he wanted a pair of the Nike Cortez. It’s widely popular in the PH right now so even though we visited like 7 shoe stores yesterday, we weren’t able to find one in the color that he likes. Pants: I finally got a pair of mom jeans yesterday and I can’t wait to wear it for school. I’m tired of wearing the same bottoms. Wig: I attended a workshop a few months ago where the speaker disclosed that she has leukemia, and she took off the wig she had been wearing the whole time to show us her head. I also remember the RuPaul Stans part of Twitter because they say ‘wig’ all the time...

Makeup: Kate made me her subject last Thursday and she played with my face and put makeup on it. Ended up feeling really pretty because she did a pretty awesome job. Instagram: I snubbed Instagram for the longest time but thought that a ‘one-pic-for-every-day-of-the-year’ dump account wouldn’t hurt, so I made one of those for 2019. My photography skills are absolutely nowhere to be found, and my gallery is super haphazard, but I really want to make an effort to store memories this year. YouTube: Hmm first thing I thought of was PewDiePie. I subscribed to the dude when he had like 60,000 subscribers eight years ago and only had a couple of Amnesia montages up. I always feel like a proud momma/early bird whenever I remember how far and how big he’s gotten since. Life: Exhaustion, mainly. It’s gonna start snowballing by next year when I graduate. It’ll be nonstop from there - facing the prospect of coming out to my parents, graduating, getting a job, getting my first credit card, moving out, paying bills...it’s all very exhausting, exhilarating, exciting, and overwhelming to think about. Chili: Gabie and I had Japanese for early dinner last week, and I was a little weirded out by the restaurant because each seat had a red chili pepper on the placemat? I’m talking every damn seat in the place??? Idk if it’s some sort of good luck charm for the owners but it made things very slightly unsettling hahaha. Cherry: There was a WWE Diva named Cherry like ten years ago who had the gimmick of a 50′s chick, I think...I was never quite sure what her character was supposed to be, but she had roller-skates every time she went to the ring and would sometimes wear outfits with polka dots so I thought she was pretty cute.   Neil: Armstrong. Haha I was going through Reddit awhile ago when I saw a video of Buzz Aldrin punch a dude who went up to him and said that the moon landing was a hoax. Not exactly Neil Armstrong but still a good story. Drive: I like watching car chases. It’s almost...therapeutic when the suspect crashes or loses control of his car and finally gets caught. Murder: I never got into How To Get Away With Murder. It’s too fast-paced for my life. I feel like I’m the only person who doesn’t understand legal concepts because so many people are able to catch up with this show even if Viola Davis speaks a thousand words a minute and they’re all really deep words??? Idk HAHAHA. I watched like two episodes and felt super dumb after. Ice cream: OMG I hate a la mode desserts. I’d eat anything, but I wouldn’t eat two separate things with different textures. Get your ice cream away from my brownie. Water: I can’t wait to go back to the beach. Hard: Hammer? It was the first image to pop up in my head. Anne: Harry Styles’ mom is named Anne hahaha the Directioner in me jumped out, sorry not sorry. Cow: There’s this video that went viral a few months ago of a girl who was playing the accordion; all of a sudden this adorable herd of like 15 cows come running up to her and just intently watch the kid. Wholesome af. Frog: Frog legs are served in some Philippine provinces. Tastes like chicken. Cheese: My lactose intolerant ass will grate half a block of cheese (exaggeration, but you get the point) for my spaghetti. That’s the only way to enjoy pasta. Bowl: Can’t really think of anything except that bowl cuts look so cute on babies hahaha. Television: Is something I never use nowadays unless I’m staying over at a hotel. Other than that, I cannot tell you the last time I held a TV remote control to change the channel or something. Skull: There’s an episode of Friends where Phoebe brings home a skull and nonchalantly sets it on the table where Monica, Rachel, and Chandler were hanging out. Chandler goes, “Pheebs...skull?” Phoebe says, “Yeah, it’s my mom’s,” and Rachel shrieks until Phoebe clarifies that her mom owned the skull, and that the skull wasn’t of her mom. Underrated segment. Rachel’s mini-meltdown was hilarious. Seasons: I had to watch Rent for film class several months ago. Terrible movie. Cemented my dislike for musicals. This is what I remembered because afaik this is the musical that has the minutes song. Language: I can speak two and can understand some archaic/modern Spanish because they conquered us for 300 years and subsequently ruined my country. Trump: McDonald’s. An international embarrassment. Chocolate: We found this AMAZING Chocnut spread at the mall yesterday. I had my initial doubts - I thought it was gonna taste like a cheap Nutella rip-off. But it tastes exactly like Chocnut, just in the most perfect spread-y form. I plan to finish the entire jar just with a spoon. Stove: I’m terribly afraid of using any and every kitchen equipment because I have a big fear of setting the house on fire. I only ever use the stove when I’m deathly hungry and I have to make something by myself. Toy: My family recently went to a kid’s birthday party that had giveaway bags with toys inside, but seeing as we’re all teenagers now who had no use for it, it was earning dust in the house. Now, the Philippines is abound with street children so when we went out yesterday, my mom gave the bag to a couple of kids who were knocking on our car. I know I’m not supposed to romanticize the situation, but they had the biggest smiles when they realized what they got and I saw them playing merrily at the side of the street and even invited some other kids to join in. Again, not glamorizing it - I’m just happy they were happy. Video: I could never run out of things to watch on YouTube. It’s one of my favorite websites, especially when bouts of depression have to happen. Kiss: It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this? It was only a kiss, IT WAS ONLY A KISS. Glass: The glass section of department stores always creeped me out. One wrong move and you can knock a whole shelf down, and the ‘You break it you pay for it’ signs all over the area don’t help at all. Light: Light and queen come together in this survey and all I remember is Lightning McQueen. Queen: ^ Moon: Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Moon river, wider than a mile, I’m crossing you in style some day.  Blue: My organization’s color is blue, so I have a soft spot for blue. Cream: I like soups that are creamy. I say this because my sister had ramen yesterday and it was so oily and salty and fatty and creamy and ugh I loved it. Dead: The Misfits. They’re more horror than death, but still. Purple: My great-grandma loved the color purple and I remember when her house used to be peppered in purple stuff. All her dresses were purple. I’m fairly sure it was the reason why it was my favorite color as a kid. Lace: Underwear, hahaha. Cardboard: Gabie was munching on sunflower seeds when I picked her up last week. I’ve never tried those, so I asked for some and I said it tasted like cardboard. I’ve never eaten cardboard but I would imagine that that’s what it tastes like. Elephant: Majestic. Deserves to be saved and properly cared for. Harry: One of my fave members of the royal family. He’s so precious. Leather: Is bad. Paisley: Isn’t there a country singer with this name? Italy: Pasta and stuff. Joey Tribbiani. Immature: I saw the gun girl Kaitlin-something on Twitter because she got viral again for a dumb-ass tweet she made. She posted pics of herself in the snow and tweeted “Look at all this global warming,” like seriously America??? Wtf do they teach y’all in your schools?????? Crime: Raisins in cookies. Angel: I had a friend named Angel - talked about her a lot in old surveys. She migrated to Canada when we were 12 and I haven’t seen her since. We do follow each other on Twitter but all she tweets about is K-pop so I had to put her on mute. Great memories with her. Boil: When I read this tweet aloud in my head, what I did think of was Charles Boyle from B99. Key: Key lime pie. Never tried it, but I’m always down to try anything. Sacrifice: The Catholic schoolgirl in me remembers the crucifixion because textbooks and teachers would overuse the phrase, “Jesus sacrificed his life for our sins” or “God sacrificed his son to save the world,” and all those cheesy lines. It’s as though the Bible’s favorite word is ‘sacrifice.’ Larry: Punk and AJ’s dog is named Larry Talbot. Dog: ^ Psychology: I took one psych elective last semester, but the prof was average at best so it didn’t really win over the course as a whole to me. Psychology was one of my ‘what-if’ courses so at the start, I was excited about taking it - but the class that I had was just so boring and the prof gave tests that were way too hard for otherwise fairly easy topics, so I quickly ran out of enthusiasm for the class. Rag: I hate touching rags. Especially wet ones UGH. Sun: Hate it, unless I’m at the beach. Lips: My friends dragged me to the makeup section of the department store last week and there were rows upon rows of lipstick testers. As someone who’s never purposely browsed for makeup, I ended up swatching like 20 shades on my wrist and looked like a five year old who doodled all over her whole left arm. Cage: The UFC ring, because it looks like a cage. Alarm: I had/have several alarms set on my phone throughout today to tell me to start working on various deliverables. For example, I had an 8 AM alarm to work on my J 196 paper; then from 8:30 AM I had an alarm to compose letters that I needed to write as my org’s secretary; then at around 10 AM, my alarm was for finishing up my readings for Kas 154 (short for kasaysayan, which means history). Official: I have a batchmate from high school who just got engaged...she was honestly one of the weirder ones back then so as much as I didn’t want to judge, it was hard to take it seriously at first, but it’s whatevs. I have no business in her life and I’m happy she’s happy. King: I finished my history readings this morning and there were so many mentions of kings. Lost: That show. The general consensus is that they ended the show crappily, but other than that I know nothing about it. Dating: There was once a dude who joined a dating show. Ended up being a serial killer. I forgot his name though. Balm: I was at a Korean store yesterday and saw an array of lip balms and glosses. I was never much of a makeup girl but the collection they had was just so cute, it made me think if I should start investing in makeup as well hah. Tomato: Ketchup is my second least favorite condiment after mustard. Game: Hmmm I downloaded a bunch of new game apps on my phone because I recently realized that I’m so boring??? and I only have social media on my phone??? I got ten new apps to make my phone more alive haha. Lotion: Is slimy, but smells nice and makes my skin smooth and look better. I got two hand creams for Christmas last year and it was then that I knew I was getting older because I was genuinely excited to try them both out. Expensive: Everything is. Powder: Reminds me of babies. The smell calms me down so well. Cross: I was shopping for clip-on earrings yesterday and there were several designs with crosses on them, which just reminded me of Christianity and it kinda peeved me for like 3 minutes lol. History: My favorite subject. I’ve never been so excited to be dumped on with such a thick stack of readings until this semester. Sex: Haven’t had it in a bit, too busy. Rainbow: We watched a film called Rainbow’s Sunset, which was really promising because it told a story about two men, both very old, and are lovers. In a traditional, conservative, poisonously Catholic country such as the PH, it’s a very bold move to produce a feature film that tackled such a horrible, taboo, horrifying thing (please note the sarcasm/mockery). We didn’t escape the guffaws and the loud ew’s whenever the two leads would kiss, which was sad. 

Anyway that’s not my point and what I really want to say is that the film was ultimately terrible, it was terribly-executed and it portrayed gay men in such a cheesy manner which in the long run, probably contributes to the continuing negative image of LGBT people in the Philippines. Gab, the bigger film buff between the two of us, felt so offended by how bad the movie turned out to be lol. Bay: Bayley, from WWE. She was a huge star like 3 years ago, but I think the bookers ultimately fucked her character up and now she’s stale. I feel so bad. Seth: Seth Rollins, also from WWE. Also very attractive. Pepper: I had okonomiyaki for lunch yesterday and there was like a thicker chunk of pepper that made it to my plate. Didn’t particularly enjoy that bite. Necrophile: Katie Vick. Google it to believe it. Wrestling is fucking dumb. Gravel: Funnily enough I do have a memory for gravel. Akeelah and the Bee was one of my favorite movies growing up; I watched it so many times that I had chunks of dialogue memorized at one point. One of the first scenes had Akeelah joining her school’s spelling bee, and one of the kids spelled grovel as g-r-a-v-e-l. He couldn’t understand why he got it wrong so the judge had to tell him that the word ‘grovel’ actually exists and what it means. Deep: I had a mental picture of the ocean when I read this word, so there’s that. Stephen: Hawking. Bucket: Chum Bucket. Hahaha Spongebob forever. England: Rugby? Grown: I always use the term ‘grown-ass’ haha. Spell: Spelling was one of my favorite activities in grade school and I would always score the highest in spelling exams. Kind of led me to my favorite job of proofreading/copyediting, really. Bark: My dog barked at nothing for five whole minutes a couple of days ago and it was hilarious. I shot two minutes of it. Long: Trees? Fan: Pamaypay, or hand fans in English.

Australia: First things that came to mind were the Sydney Opera House and Vegemite. Iron: Gabie’s nose bled last week. It wouldn’t stop flowing out of her nostrils and it smelled like rust for a good 15 minutes while she was trying to wash all the blood off, so it didn’t exactly help my case as someone who’s squeamish to death at the sight of blood. Melt: Chocolate. Beanie: Too warm for this country’s climate. Wax: Candles. Vigils. Burning your finger. Staying up all night to pray. Catholic school. Disease: Zombies. Resident Evil. Cannibal: The band Cannibal Corpse. Tried to get into them because Punk listened to them but it was too heavy for me. Flight: Airplanes, flights, vacations, away from everyone, nothing to worry about, good food, fighting with my siblings for the window seats. Porn: People be having weird fetishes sometimes. The thumbnails I see on websites...some of y’all crazy. Pot: I thought about how college life is so crazy. People would sell brownies or cookies with weed in them IN SCHOOL, meanwhile I still don’t even know if weed and pot are the same or if they’re two different things ohmygod HAHAHAHA I’m so sheltered wow I’m hopeless?????? Style: Taylor Swift and that subtle shade to Harry. People were shookened five years ago. Floss: Pork floss is really good. Star: There was a local celebrity who recently tweeted a pic, supposedly of a tiny tiny star that was beside the moon at like 5 AM, and she was asking what it was. Someone replied that it was Venus and explained what she just saw for her. Super cool. Nate: I don’t know anyone named Nate. I DID, however, remember the Naked Brothers Band. The older brother is named Nat, so it’s close enough. Soft: Pillows are soft. Orange: Hayley Williams’ hair 11 years ago. Witch: Philippine superstitions and how crazy and obsessive Filipinos can get. My mom, one of the most rational, no-nonsense people I know, scolds me every time I mock witchcraft or what we call ‘kulam’ cos she believes something will happen to me if I do. I’m all for honoring our mythology and traditions but sheesh, not to the obsessive extent. Mound: Ants. Root: Gabie used to watch this show where she shipped two girls named Root and Shaw. Oil: Massages. Hot: Deserts. Disc: Childhood, blowing on it to make it work, double-sided discs for longer movies, if a disc had scratches expect it to die soon. Soil: Plants. Planting trees. Muddy. Ugly: That scene in Spongebo where Patrick tells the story of the ugly barnacle. “Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end,” which didn’t help Spongebob who at the time was feeling super ugly hahahahaha. Sugar: Maroon 5. Also, my grandma used one particular jar for sugar throughout my entire childhood. It’s plastic, it’s clear, and it came with a red-orange lid. I’d often eat sugar on its own so I saw that jar quite a bit and it gives me a sense of nostalgia. I’m not so sure if that’s still the jar being used in the old house. Bone: Ribs :( Been craving for some. Sigh: Air??? I don’t know. Throne: Game of Thrones. I had to watch a 26-minute documentary of a GoT production for my broadcast management class. It’s insanely hard. So much respect to everyone involved in its prod. Calendar: I’m secretary for my org, which means that I always have to update everyone about our calendar of events. Carpet: Fancy. Flesh: The Walking Dead. Cement: Dangerous. Vow: The movie with Rachel McAdams and Channing Tatum. One of my guiltier pleasures. Sweet: Desserts. And now I’m hungry.

[angelaiswriting]

Superhero | dad!Tony Stark

[GIF not mine, found on Google]

✎ Pairing: kinda none, but also kinda Tony Stark & daughter and Tony Stark x Pepper

✎ Requested by my dying soul, the demon inside me, my will to cry and  my love for Tony Stark (also my messed up brain and my self-love)

✎ A/N: the daughter’s name’s Bethany (I know I wrote a Bucky Barnes x OC where the girl has the same name--this is not the same person, I just love the name, okay? Okay), but she’s not described in any way (I just say she has different colored eyes because I thought it fit well with how she was born, but that’s a really unsignificant detail), so you can consider this a Tony x reader if you want and not a Tony x OC.

✎ A/N 2: also tagging @sweetvengeancee because I thought of her and her exams while writing this and it’s also a sort of gift for taking more than one exam a day. What human being can do this? She’s a real superhero

✎ Warnings: every time I read this I cry I’m bad, so: terribly sad. Like, very, very terribly sad. ALSO, THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR INFINITY WAR: IF YOU HAVEN’T WATCHED IT YET, DO NOT READ THIS PLEASE. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED (also with the sad stuff). I just couldn’t wait anymore, I love this piece so much I had to print it out haha.

Word-count: 3316

SPOILERS AHEAD!

He knew what he was going to see on that tape. Pepper had tried to tell him, to explain to him what had happened while he was somewhere in space, but the tears had just been too much.

Bethy was gone–gone forever. And he hadn’t been there with her. He had held that very boy she had always had a crush on but he had not been there for his own daughter.

Fingers paralyzed on the keyboard, he thought back to the day he had woken up just to find out he had a daughter now. He had called her a mistake for way too long a time: one night he had just been too drunk in his lab. To this day he still didn’t remember what he had done to produce a human being, even though the tapes were there for him to rewatch them–he was maybe going to do that now, now that she was gone and that he felt more miserable than he had ever felt.

He had spent so many months not wanting that girl and it was just because Pepper had been there that he had named her Bethany. ‘Bethany’ had always sounded like home somehow and even though he had never imagined himself with a kid, he had felt like that was the right name for her.

And then, with time, he had started to feel more comfortable around her. She was his, whether he wanted that or not–his flesh and bone and cellular structure and messed up brain. But he had never been there for her first steps or her first words or her first jar of Nutella at two years of age. And he regretted all of that now.

He had spent so much time being angry with himself for that experiment he had called ‘daughter’ that he had forgotten to stop and understand what she really meant–sleepless nights when she sneaked out to go see some boy, sleepy hugs in the morning before she left for school. She had even begged him to get her a pet–any pet, really–but he had always said no. No dogs, no cats, no birds, no guinea pigs, no nothing, not even a fish. And he now regretted it all.

How can you think you have all eternity when you’re just human? How can you be so blind when all you’ve ever needed has always been right in front of your eyes?

Tony let out a trembling sigh.

How could a father see her daughter leave this world? How could he have enough strength to go on with his life when the greatest gift he had ever received–and he understood this now maybe for the first time–wasn’t there anymore?

He would wake up to a silent house and everything would scream of her–her tea mug, her room, her books scattered everywhere, the dress he had bought her for her prom, all of the pictures Pepper had forced him to take with her. Even his armors would remind him of her–she had always been there, suggesting things even if he wouldn’t listen to her.

And Pepper. Pepper would be the biggest reminder of them all. She would cry all her tears for his Bethy–she would cry until her eyes would turn too red and too puffy to bear any tears and she would become a ghost, wandering around the house, trying to forget the past and build a new future. And she would crumble down in front of him and he was now too weak to help her up.

And whenever he’d look at his reflection in the mirror he would think of her. Their eyes lit up in the same way, they wrinkled in the same way. And she would do that cute thing with her nose when he made her laugh her ass off. Even now, sitting in the silent living room, her laughter seemed to echo down the walls, tickle the back of his neck. And for a terrible second, she was there, on the couch, and she was crying because some bad guy had kidnapped her daddy. And she was crying again–he had got home with that bright thing in his chest keeping him alive. And she had kept on crying that night in his room while he tried to tell her that everything was fine, that daddy was back and wasn’t going anywhere. Even now he could feel her tears soaking up his pajama shirt, her hands balling up the soft material, reminding him of the duties he had towards his daughter. And she was crying again–the Avengers were breaking up and she was losing the only friends she had managed to make. And she yelled at him, punched his chest–“You can’t all agree on everything, dad! You can’t be all the same.”

But she wasn’t there and she would never be again.

“You should have told him,” Bethany said, trying to focus on her American History paper that was due the following day.

“The line fell,” Pepper sighed. She was standing right in front of the huge windows of the living room, the same living room Tony sat now in. And her gaze wandered the buildings surrounding the compound and she forced herself not to look up, not to stare at the sky–if not for herself, for Bethany, whose red eyes spoke more than a thousand words. “He loves you very much, he’s just not good at showing it.”

Beth had stood from her chair and her hand on her shoulder startled Pepper. “I know, Peps. He loves you too, more than anything else in the world.” She came to her side and side hugged her, her face resting in the crook of the woman’s neck, forehead against her cool skin. “And he will love your child even more.”

“What if he…” Pepper swallowed hard and Tony could see her trying to hold back the tears. “What if…”

She couldn’t say those words–she couldn’t even bring herself to form that sentence in her mind. Her brain was clouded and at the same time so very empty.

“He won’t die.” Beth was shaking her head, pulling away from the hug to stare at her stepmother-to-be. “He promised me when he came back from Afghanistan. He doesn’t always keep his promises, but I know he’ll come back.”

“How can you be so confident?”

“Because he’s my dad and I love him more than I’ll love anyone else and I cannot imagine my life without him.”

Tony had to push the stop button. One thing was knowing, deep down, that you had spent your whole life letting your own daughter down; but another was hearing her lay her love for you out for everyone to see and coming back too late to tell her you feel the same–you’ve always felt the same and you always will and there’s nothing in this world like holding someone you love so close it hurts, so close your bones feel like cracking, like breaking. And time would feel like a useless dimension, something you could happily do without. And you would give your soul–your life–to get the fucking time stone from that fucking purple alien to have another chance at loving your child. To see her grow up, blossom in the smart woman she was bound to become. And he would let her go to the movies with that Parker boy and he would cheer her up. He would watch her walk towards another man and he would accompany her to the altar and he wouldn’t be crying her death now, but her new start in life, her new family, her chance at having her own kid and be happy. And he would surprise her with a new pet at every birthday until their house would be full and he would continue with more, and he would give her the Moon because only God knew how much Beth deserves in life. And he would let her be reckless and live her life and he would take her places and show everyone what gift he had been honored with.

And yet, all he had now was a bunch of memories that weren’t enough to call him a father. A bunch of memories that will keep haunting him day and night and that will break him from inside way beyond the point of no return.

And it all hurt now–his crying eyes, his pulsing brain, his lungs fighting for oxygen, his ears, constantly picking up her voice. And his heart–his heart felt like a corpse inside his chest. It was heavy and broken and bleeding to the point he thought it was going to break forever, to bring him to the other world to see his Bethany. And it felt like Thanos was ripping it out, breaking his ribs, blood gushing out the hole in his chest.

And Pepper was there–his Pepper and her Pepper too, crying in his neck, holding him tight, fighting to keep the tears in, to swallow them up. Because Bethy would never want for them to cry for her, to waste their time with all that pain. Because she was life–a miracle come to this world because of the best mistake Tony had ever made.

But Bethy wasn’t there, and her eyes were closed now, her eyelids glued together, and she would never open them again. And he would go out into the world and would look for her different colored eyes in those of everyone around him, trying to find hers, to bring her back to life.

But she was there again, alive, carved in the frames of the security camera tape. And she was moving, talking, breathing. And it hurt more than those spikes he had had inside his chest. And they were now moving towards his heart with every word she said, with every scratch of her pen on the paper, with every smile she smiled to try and cheer Pepper up a bit.

Because her daddy was coming back, because he would never leave her alone again. Because he had promised her and even though he had kept his word, he had come too late–like always.

“He’s coming back and we’re telling him of my new brother or sister and we will have to read those stupid maternity books because, let’s be honest, neither my dad nor I know how to deal with other human beings,” she was saying.

And Tony let out a broken giggle because that was the horrible truth, the one that was eating him alive from the inside. They were born to be smart and clever and to create things and to be pains in the ass and to have stupid fights and to watch documentaries together and to create things together, to develop more Fridays and more Jarvis’ and to come up with updating ideas for his suit. They were born to be different, to have different priorities, different world-views, different conceptions of what is good and what is not.

“Don’t worry, Peps,” Beth smiled. “Tony Stark always comes back.”

Pepper closed her eyes. She had lived that day once–and a million times inside her head. Had she had the chance to switch places with that girl, to save her, she would have. She would have given up on the chance to give birth to her own child just to be a mother for the girl who didn’t have one.

And yet she could see everything as though that tape had been printed behind her closed eyelids. And so she was there and Beth was holding her hand, squeezing it to the point it hurt, and she was trying to be strong for the woman she had always loved like a mom.

Countless minutes, maybe hours,  passed before something happened.

Beth had finished her paper somehow and was now staring at the TV screen in horror, Pepper by her side. And people were dying in Wakanda and aliens had finally come–without signs, though, this time–and the end of the world was here and it all felt so surreal. And for a second they both thought of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and they both felt like laughing. Martin Freeman was worrying again for his house and Mos Def was saving him again and it was better than in Star Wars because this adventure was fun, and stupid, and so mind-blowing they both still didn’t know what to think of that film.

But Martin Freeman was just an actor, Mos Def too, and The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy was just a stupid story that wasn’t real.

The reality was that her friends were fighting a war not worth dying for. The reality was that her friends were there and were risking their lives and her dad and her crush were somewhere in space, maybe already dead, and it was so horrible to be left behind. To sit there knowing nothing, but hoping–hoping with all their strength that everything turns out for the best.

Tony still feels Peter in his hug, the boy’s bone-crashing hold on him in his last moments. And he was still begging him to not let go, to not let him go anywhere.

And Bethy is holding onto Pepper now and they’re both crying and they’re both scared because who knows what death is like? And she’s begging Peps to not let her go because she doesn’t want to die without seeing her daddy one last time and without telling him how much she loves him and how much he means to her. And she doesn’t want to go without knowing what it is like and without having graduated and without having been kissed for the first time. And she begs Pepper to hold onto her so very tight, to keep her anchored to this very ground, because she’s scared and she wants to see her baby sibling and wants to go to college and grow up and see things. And she wants to hold Hulk’s hand again and she’d like for Hulk to be there and to cheer her up like she always cheers him up and they haven’t seen in forever. And she wants a damn dog and a damn kiss and a damn drink because she doesn’t wanna go without knowing what vodka tastes like. And she wants to die in his daddy’s arms because then she wouldn’t be afraid, because she’d know everything is fine and that her dad is with her and she’d be happy and honored and proud to leave this world like that. And she tries to delay the departure and she wants to stay because she’s too young and she has yet to start living.

And now she’s fading and Tony wants to hold her, to become one with his daughter just so that she doesn’t go where he cannot follow her. And Tony is fading, too, inside and all he wants is to go, to see his Bethy one last time because they didn’t have a chance to say their last goodbye.

And Peps is holding onto air and she’s crying and no one’s there with her, for her, and she doesn’t know what to do, her brain has stopped working. And all she sees is Bethy fading away again and again and again–and again. And there is nothing she can do to stop her, to hold her back, and she still feels her burning tears on her ice-cold skin and they burn like acid and they draw blood even if it’s all in her head. And she’s scared because she doesn’t know what happened and she thinks about the paper Beth has just written and who’s going to hand it in at school? And who’s going to prom with that beautiful dress? And where is she going to find the strength to tell Tony that his daughter has left forever and that another child is on its way? And where on Earth did Bethany go? And why did she leave her? And why did she let her go? And how could someone be so heartless to kill her? And who’s going to live her life? And who’s going to graduate in her place? And why can’t they talk about boys anymore? And what’s going to happen to the ice cream she bought the day before? And what’s gonna happen now? To her? To Tony? To everyone else?

And she’s alone in her living room and her brain is killing her, it won’t stop working and she doesn’t know what to do. And Bethy’s arms still feel so real and they’re still hugging her tight because none of them wants to let go and it hurts because she wasn’t strong enough to hold her back and she let her venture alone down a path she can’t take–not yet–and she wonders whether they’re going to meet again one day and she really hopes so and God, why did you have to take my girl?

And they’re both crying now–Tony and Pepper. And they’re trying to keep it down, to not make a sound, but it hurts and they’re not strong enough. And all they can see is Bethy fading away, disappearing in front of their eyes, and they cannot stop it and they cannot rewind time and only God knows where Thanos is and he’s too far to bring her back. And maybe God doesn't exist after all because how could He take a kid like her? A kid like Peter?

And they’re both crying because they don’t know what else to do and they don’t feel their empty stomachs grumbling and they cannot feel the world around them.

And who cares about fixing the world now?

Because Bethy’s History paper is still there, on the living room glass table, and it’s staring at them and it won’t let them be and it feels like it’s shooting daggers down their throats and it all feels so fake. But Beth is not five anymore and she’s not hiding, nor is she playing, trying to outsmart Jarvis. And she didn’t sneak out to finally tell Peter she would like to go out with him, nor did she take Thor out to go on a walk with him. And she’s not playing chess with Vision, trying to finally win a game, because Vision is gone, too, and there’s no coming back. And she’s not messing with Steve, nor is she reading out loud to herself in her room. And Bucky isn’t with her because Bucky’s gone, too, and Fury isn’t trying to keep things from her because… well, because Fury isn’t part of this world anymore. And she’s not trying to coax Nat to teach her some Russian, nor is she gossiping around with Wanda. And she’s not playing with her daddy’s gadgets because they’re all locked up in a room and Tony doesn’t want to see them ever again. Because Iron Man didn’t manage to save one of the only two things worth saving in his life and he doesn’t feel like being Iron Man anymore.

Because how can you be a superhero when you can’t even save your daughter?

And all he can see when he closes his eyes is black because Beth isn’t there to light up his world anymore. And because death is black and he feels so dead inside.

And when Peps closes her eyes, all she can hear is Tony’s raging heart in her ears and Bethy’s laughter and her daydreaming about anything in the world. And she still hears the girl asking her to put a good word with her dad because she’d really like a Valentine’s date this year. And then she hears her crying and begging her to not let go and she’s back again and she hates herself. Because how can you be a mother when you can’t even protect your child?

I’m usually not very proud of the things I write because that’s how I am, but this... I love this, my heart is in this, my tears too. I hope I made you cry, or at least tear up a bit haha

PLEASE, CONSIDER LEAVING A COMMENT/MESSAGE/REBLOG SAYING WHAT YOU THINK OF THIS - IT’D REALLY MAKE MY DAY ❤  I always love to read your opinions and chat with you

TAGS

Everything: @selldraug @saibh29 @fuckthatfeeling @aya-fay @pebblesz892 @toomanyfandoms96 (sorry, it doesn’t let me tag you)

If you’d like to be tagged in something or anything I write, just inbox me and I’ll save your name.

[dreamwritesimagines]

i’m feeling adventurous, let’s read another chapter tonight.

before we get started, i have a funny story to tell people. it might cheer you up. ok so i’m in a program where i share all my classes with the same few people, so we all know each other pretty well and we’ve grown quite close. we all have a reputation of being absolutely fucking unhinged, which is honestly pretty true, i take no offense to that, but i think people were proven right today. i had an art history class and this guy pulls up to a desk with a whole ass loaf of bread and a jar of nutella and, ad the teacher is talking about fucking rembrandt, he’s spreading nutella on his fucking slice of bread. obviously, since we’re all depressed, we wanted some, and he started handing them out like we were kids. i hate people but sometimes… sometimes they’re alright. that nutella sandwich made my day ::)

ok enough chit chat, let’s roll chapter 9!

comment on the gif : ben barnes is intimidating until you see his crooked tooth, then he just looks adorable 🥺

skittles, baby, we went over this already. dump carter, confess to billy, live happy ever after (yes i said it, i don’t claim the epilogue) and have as much fun with your soulmate as possible. easy!

OMG, FINALLY MEETING THE UNCLE. who’s the uncle’s fc?? which old white man has theoretically been cast as that slug faced motherfucker?

fucking aldrich. of course his name is ducking aldrich. but carter killian sounds so cool as a name, i might have to save that…

‘i’m pretty sure his uncle will adore you’ rose, i love you, please shut up. he really doesn’t and deserves to rot in the hellhole he crawled out of.

poor skittles, she literally has ptsd because of this fucking chewed-up gum ball piece of shit. she’s having a literal panic attack.

‘uncle, this is the love of my life’ wishful thinking, big boy

babes, she literally thinks of billy when she needs to find inner peace omg 😭 i’m soft.

not skittles being a horse riding girl, a tennis girl and a debate girl. they’re individually the worse people i meet (i have at least 10 in my class that fit into one of these categories, i know), i can’t even imagine the intersection of that. do negatives cancel each other out in this context????

‘i’ve been running on like… 3 hours of sleep’ OMG BESTIE SAME!!! chronic insomniac since 2016 😌

i have a feeling skittles is enjoying aldrich’s camouflaged freak out a little too much and you know what? good for her. this is retribution.

‘sorry, too much whiskey’ see, this is why i don’t understand rich people. why you drinking whiskey before lunch carter? 🤨 i appreciate the commitment to the aesthetic but if you can’t handle your liquor, please, just order an apple juice, the fuck?

‘i will not be blackmailed like this’ are you though? like are you? i don’t think you’re in any position to threaten, babes. she has the upper hand and by a fucking mile. you’re just a cockroach.

‘i have you’re nephew’s heart. i wonder which one would make more noise if we put a knife through it.’ GO OFF DREAM, THAT’S AN INSANE QUOTE!!!

‘oh i want you to sleep less than me’ coming from an insomniac, this is the ultimate threat. anything less than 3 hours in the long run will kill you.

noooooo skittles, please, i know you’re in therapy, but is your therapist good? you need some serious help with this trauma, it’s baaaaad

billy and skittles are so soft omg i’m crying. ok wait no, why is billy suggesting to teach her how to torture someone????

‘do you want that in your conscience?’ ‘you are my conscience, skittles’ OMG JUST KISS ALREADY JESUS FUCK.

not skittles being surprised that krista hates her like she was the biggest bitch anyone can come across. love you, skittles, but you were abrasive as fuck (as you should though)

OMG THE GLOW IN THE DARK PEN ON THE PAINTING 😭 y’all, this is love right here. how can they be so blind. it would’ve been the same if she had written ‘i love you more than i love myself’ like????

i love them so much. your fics make me soft and an emotional mess 💛 love you dream!

ps : happy ides of march people

Ooooh my God that's so heartwarming love! ❤❤ I want oneeee😂❤

Aldrich is actually a villain in the Iron Man movies! 😈

Skittles definitely has ptsd and I think imagining Billy is the only thing that calms her down when she panics 💔😭

Oh negatives do not cancel out each other, Skittles can be a handful when she feels like it 😈😂

She was definitely enjoying that!

I feel like Carter was nervous to introduce them 😏

Aaaaaa I'm so happy to hear that you liked that quote honeeeey! 😱❤ Skittles learned how to threaten people from Billy 😈

"anything less than 3 hours in the long run will kill you." Wait, pause is that a thing??? I get like 3 hours of sleep at night 😶

Billy has no problem with that at all😈❤ He is in looooove 😈

She really tried to play it innocent 😂

They are in love AND in denial 😂😂😂

Love you so much honeeeey, this is so so sweet of you, thank you so much! 😱❤❤

[basedonatruestory-official]

CHAPTER FOUR: WE’LL MAKE YOU SCREAM

I'm rushing to my very first university class - I'm not late, but I can't find the classroom 'cause the building is so big. I spot a familiar face amid the crowd, a girl I went to high school with.

"Hey! Long time no see, how are you?" She asks, approaching me.

"Hi! All good, first day, heh. You wouldn't happen to know where room 202 is?"

"Sure I do, it's on the second floor, right in front of the stairs," she replies with a relaxed smile.

"Thank you so much. I've been roaming around like an idiot for the past ten minutes. Have to run, see you!"

Having not met anyone from high school in so long, it brings back so many memories.

Finally, I get to room 202 and it's basically full. The professor is closing the doors, but I manage to sneak in at the last second wearing a small, apologetic smile. Fortunately, there are a few seats left and I sit down on the closest.

"I'll give you all five minutes to get your notebooks, computers or whatever and then I'll start with the presentation for the course," the professor, a thirty-something blond woman, announces, fixing her round glasses on her nose.

I notice a guy who is crouching next to people whispering something; when he finally gets to my row, he hands me a leaflet.

"Don't miss out, first years. Best Halloween party in town, everyone from every faculty is going to be there, even some professors if we're lucky," he chuckles and keeps on handing the pamphlets to the rows behind me. The paper reads "Halloween 2017: Creep it real!" and there's an image of, well, a creepy clown along with all the details of the party. For some weird reason, it reminds of the first time I properly celebrated Halloween, with Maggie.

"Nice to meet you, Robin!"

"Nice to meet you too, Mrs Ivory," I reply shyly, shaking her hand, my cheeks burning.

"You guys want a snack? I was making some pancakes."

"Yes!" Maggie shouts happily, sitting on one of the stools in her kitchen, and I follow suit. Patricia, Maggie's mom, takes out a huge jar of Nutella and my mouth starts watering - she seems to notice my hungry look and chuckles.

"I always buy an extra jar when I'm shopping for the restaurant."

"The restaurant?" My eyebrows scrunch up in confusion.

"Yeah, my parents own a restaurant," Maggie clarifies nonchalantly.

"And you say it like that?! That's so cool!"

"I'm glad at least your friend likes our job. Why don't you come to help Maggie with her shift on Halloween? That way you can dress up later".

"Oh yes please, save me from the torture of working on Halloween!" Maggie jokes, wrapping her arms around my neck and pretending to cry on my shoulder.

"I'll have to ask my mom," I chuckle.

"Of course, I wouldn't want her to think we're taking advantage of a minor," Patricia smiles warmly, and we all laugh.

And that's the story of how I got my first job ever, even if it was just for one night. I find myself wearing a scarlet apron and sweating uncontrollably inside Patricia and Kevin's fast food restaurant. I'm actually quite surprised my parents agreed to this.

"Look how good we look!" Maggie exclaims, getting out of the locker room, her arms open. I sigh and stare at myself in the mirror just outside the kitchen. After a few seconds, warm hands find their place on my shoulders, making them relax immediately.

"Robin, it's going to be fine. You have nothing to worry about, it's a fast food place, not a fancy cuisine type of thing." Her words soothe the stress I'm feeling and force a chuckle out of my mouth. "That doesn't mean you can insult clients though," I laugh out loud at the last line and my friend joins in a second later.

"Ah, you must be Robin! Mags has been talking about you," a booming voice resonates behind us, making me turn around.

"This is my dad," Maggie steps in while I shake Kevin's extended hand.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr Ivory."

Why am I nervous about meeting him? Maybe it's because he's so tall and I'm so... tiny.

"Hey pops!"

Jasper has stepped out from the corridor that connects the kitchen and the dining area.

"What is he doing here?" Maggie questions, looking up from her phone, while the other two hug briefly.

"Did you expect him to stay home alone? He's just turned nine years old! And why are you all standing in front of the locker room?" Patricia has joined us too.

"Woman, calm down! Everybody, get to work!" Kevin exclaims, clapping his hands and heading towards the kitchen, "Jasper, don't cause any trouble!" He adds over his shoulder.

Patricia rolls her eyes and goes back behind the counter. Jasper decides to hang out in the kitchen with his father for a while, and Maggie stops me just before reaching the dining area.

"We can do this." She stares into my eyes and I suddenly detect some insecurity.

"Wait, are you nervous too?" I grin, feeling relieved.

"Psh, yeah right... I'm going to show you how it's done as soon as someone gets in..."

"No, hey, it's okay if you're nervous. You're going to do great though, I'm sure of it," I tell her, realising she must have felt judged when I smiled, and immediately trying to make amends. Sometimes cultivating friendships feels like hunting prey - make one bad move and they're gone.

Right after my sentence, our first client gets in, a thirty-something dark-haired man, followed by a huge group of friends. I barely have the time to observe Maggie working before a family comes in and it's my turn to serve them.

"Hello, welcome to Fenn's! I'm Robin and this is our menu," I try to appear as cheerful as ever, but my heart skips a beat when I notice that it's Vanessa sitting down. Her eyes are glued to mine as soon as she finishes fixing her blue cardigan.

"Hi!"

"Um, hi." My reply is not very convincing.

An awkward silence fills the air until her parents step in.

"Do you know each other?"

"Yes, she's a classmate of mine," Vanessa replies, smiling broadly.

"Oh, nice to meet you!" Her mother squeaks gleefully.

"Nice to meet you too!"

"Mom, can I get the double cheeseburger?"

The words have come out of a boy slightly younger than me, sitting next to Vanessa. He's wearing a black and white skeleton costume, as well as some smeared skeleton makeup.

"He's Cameron, my brother." The boy smiles shyly at me in response to Vanessa's words.

"Nice to meet you, Cameron."

The evening goes on quite smoothly, even though Maggie and I are worried Vanessa is going to tell our classmates that she saw us working as waitresses. We're not concerned about their judgement, we just don't want them to be able to bother us in any way - they most likely would if they knew.

"I need someone to get more flour from the underground storage!"

Jasper is chatting with us when we hear Kevin's loud voice from the kitchen; the siblings immediately look at each other and then at me.

"What?"

They both smile at me, a smile that says 'we're up to something'.

"We dare you to go to the underground storage. Alone," Maggie crosses her arms and looks at me challengingly. I immediately scoff and accept, shaking their hands.

Tension starts taking control of my body as I descend the stairs and the lighting gets increasingly worse. Drops of water drip down from some tubes high up on the ceiling and a constant buzzing echoes through the basement. It's probably the cold room. We shouldn't have watched 'A Nightmare on Elm Street' earlier; Maggie probably knew I'd shit my pants down here and that's why she looked so smug.

"Okay Robin, red door. Search for the red door."

A light starts to flicker right above me and my eyes roll back to their own accord, am I in an actual horror film? The floor goes dark and I stop walking as I hear steps reverberating around me. The drops, the buzzing, my heavy breath and... something else. Is it whispers? My back finds its place against the cold wall and a shiver runs through my arms, but the cold has nothing to do with it. The steps are getting closer and I can now tell there are two people down here with me, one coming from the left and one coming from the right. I squeeze my body further against the wall but, just when I feel a gust of air coming towards me, all the lights turn back on, revealing Jasper standing on my left and Maggie standing on my right. A sense of relief washes over my body as I close my eyes and slide down against the wall, Maggie's laugh loud in my ears.

"I hate you," I glare at my friend, but I can already feel a smile threatening to break upon my face. Jasper is still giggling when I take Maggie's outstretched hand to get up.

"Why did all the lights go out?"

"They're set to turn off on their own after a while, you should have seen your face," she sniggers.

"How did you switch them back on if you were standing here with me though?"

"We didn't. We thought you did, the switch is right there on the wall," Jasper points at the spot just beside the red door I have been searching for these past five minutes.

"I didn't."

Maggie's gaze hasn't left my face for a single second, she's probably trying to figure out if I'm deceiving them, but I'm not. We're staring at each other when, all of a sudden, a man jumps out from around the corner behind Jasper, shouting. We all jump and then the boy lunges forward and hides between Maggie and me without turning around. After the initial scare, I recognise Kevin's features under the neon light and snort softly.

"Congratulations Robin, you have successfully passed the initiation rite these two came up with. Now you are part of the family!" His bony hand pushes down on my shoulder while Jasper unconvincingly slaps his father's leg.

"You two deserved to be scared. Poor Robin was already worried about her first night at work! Now go put some makeup on," he opens the red door and quickly recovers the flour he needed.

"But dad, don't you need us up there?" Maggie has apparently only just recovered from the recent fright.

"I'm telling you I'm letting you go earlier so you can have fun with your friend, don't make me question my impulsive decisions."

"Thank you, dad!" Maggie hugs him tightly before grabbing my arm and directing me towards the other exit, the one she and Jasper used to get in the basement earlier.

"Ah," Kevin exclaims, "you can have fun with your friend and Jasper."

Maggie rolls her eyes.

I wish we had taken pictures that night. We didn't look particularly good, but it's one of the happiest moments of my life to this day.

Two vampire waitresses and a little green zombie make their way through the streets, trick or treating here and there. Jasper has insisted on buying some orange and black balloons and, I must say, it was a great decision. Nearby kids, and also some adults, get scared whenever one of us jumps on a balloon and makes it pop loudly. We have actually gathered a lot of candy, probably because Jasper looks adorable as a zombie, when it's time to go back to the restaurant.

"There you are, I was about to call you," Patricia waves at us from the entrance.

"No need, mother."

"Robin, I should probably save your number, even though Maggie is always on her phone."

"I am not."

"Sure, Mrs Ivory," my fingers grasp Patricia's phone as I type in my number in her contacts.

The drive back to Ivory manor is quiet, we are all pretty sleepy. Once we get to Maggie's house, we all change into our pyjamas and head to bed; it's the first time I'm sleeping over at a friend's in a long time.

"Left or right?"

"What?"

"Left side or right side?" Maggie's arm is stretched towards her bed.

"Oh, anywhere works for me," I awkwardly give my reply, suddenly realising I'm going to have to share a bed with her. Honestly, it's quite obvious but it hadn't occurred to me until right now. I climb on the right side since Maggie is laying on the left and then we hear a small voice.

"Mags, can you tell me a spooky story?" Jasper is standing on the doorway, his arms hugging his own chest.

I nod at my friend's silent request, and in no time all three of us are crouched under the sheets, Maggie is holding a flashlight under her chin and her little brother is clutching his hands. The story is not scary at all. I've never heard it before but it's called 'Dead man's guts"; I'm so tired that I stop listening to the tale and simply observe how the warm, artificial light dances over Maggie's cheeks. I snap out of my reverie when Jasper jumps at the contact with what he believes are eyeballs, but are in fact grapes her sister had hidden under the pillow. Both happy and scared, Jasper agrees it's time to go to sleep and leaves the room.

"Were you going to keep those grapes under the pillow even if he hadn't asked you to tell him a story?"

"Ah, he always does, every year," a yawn follows Maggie's words and I smile at the closeness we have gained in almost two months.

•••

"Have a good day everyone, I'll see you on Thursday at 10.30!"

I start gathering my things, but I'm in no rush because I only had this one class today. The leaflet I picked up earlier is still on my desk and I'm deciding whether I should keep it or not.

"Are you going?" A voice coming from my left makes its way to my ears.

"I don't think so," I reply, wrinkling my nose, to the girl sitting beside me.

"Yeah, me neither. I don't really like school parties. Not to sound like a creep, but I saw your calendar and I think we share some classes. Would you mind going over the timetable with me?"

"Yeah, no, of course!"

"Great! I'm Shannon by the way."

"Robin, nice to meet you."

Read on Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/865134991-based-on-a-true-story-chapter-four-we%27ll-make-you

[tryingtokeepcalm]

Traversing London by Moonlight

Alright, we’re back on track here! So, first day back in London with class and everything.

I wasn’t as tired as I thought I would be when I got up for class. I made a rather disappointing breakfast because I was forced to get a different type of bread when I went shopping the night before. It’s too thick to fully toast so I’ll be having soft toast with nutella for the past few days. Oh well.

When we got to class, it was the first time most of us had seen each other since spring break so we were all talking to each other and asking how each other’s weeks had gone. When our professor finally came in, he had to settle everyone down a few times. But we finally did, and went on to the uplifting topic of Brexit.

It was actually a pretty good class, considering it helped explain a lot of what's happening in the current political climate in Britain. When he’s not going off on tangents or telling us the same four stories over and over again, our professor is pretty good at breaking down the fundamental reasons behind things like Brexit, like what led up to it.

Once we finished the lecture, we took the tube to the Imperial War Museum. We’ve been there before for our history class and also saw the same exhibit on World War I. So, instead of seeing the same exhibit twice, we told our professor that we’ve already seen it and he let us go see a different exhibit instead. We ended up going to the Holocaust exhibit, which, along with being just as harrowing as one would expect, was vastly interesting considering it was from a british point of view. It did make me want to go back to the Holocaust Museum in DC to see if it's presented any differently from the one here in Britain. It looked a lot deeper into refugees and those fleeing Germany at the time. The most haunting part, in my opinion, was this large spread out model of Auschwitz, along with footage of the real location. It was… indescribable.

Afterwards, we took the tube back to our neighborhood. I got lunch and hung out in the flat until it was time for theatre class.  In class we talked about Sex With Strangers, the play with Theo James. Oh yeah, I remember that one! How could I forget?

It was very clear to our professor why some of us REALLY loved it.  But we were still able to talk about it objectively (some of us anyway), and figure out why certain people liked and disliked it. And I think that’s why I really love this class. Because even if I come out of a play with full enjoyment of it but then we talk about it in class and realize there were more problems than I initially realized, I still enjoyed it when I saw it. I think some people in the class don’t realize you can enjoy something and acknowledge it’s many faults. It’s called guilty pleasures people! You’re talking to the girl who would gladly have a Twilight marathon anytime, anyplace!

Anyway, we also shared this assignment we had where we had to take a piece of dialogue we heard on the street and give it some meaning that isn’t obvious from just the spoken dialogue. I ended up sharing mine and he really liked it! Even though it was just a simple exercise, it’s always great to get positive feedback on my writing/ideas. I also found out during this class that I got a A- on my Pop Culture midterm paper! Turn up!

After class, I ran back to the grocery store with Kelly and got some more pasta to cook dinner for the flat. Once we got back, I spent some time just uploading pictures to Facebook before making dinner for the flat. I managed to make gnocchi with pesto sauce from the jar and I don’t think it was too bad. No one openly praised it, but they ate it all so… success? Eh, I don’t really care. I made myself plain gnocchi and ate it very happily.

After dinner, I ended up going to see Moonlight at this theatre a few blocks down. I always find it extremely enjoyable to go places at night here, if not just for the aesthetic of taking the tube at night. The movie theatre was really big and was playing film scores as people walked in. And they obviously knew I was there (wearing my Star Wars shirt no less) because they were playing some scores from Empire Strikes Back and I nearly died, I was so excited!

The movie was amazing! Definitely deserved every award it got and more (I’m looking at you cinematography!). Literally, everyone should see it as some point. It was such an emotional and well told story. It made my heart ache by the end of it, you just feel for this character so deeply. And this is coming from someone who is neither black, male, or gay, so I can’t imagine how invested someone would feel if they related to Chiron (the main character) on any of those levels. Brilliantly written, acted, directed, everything.

After the movie, I took the tube back to the flat and went to bed soon after getting back. I’m still catching up from my week of travels!

Steps/Miles: 13,617/5.56 miles