#this gifset has been on my draft for ages

[platoapproved]

That's it? You're just gonna end it there?

[dellamortte]

can’t stop thinking about lucanis dellamorte…….. i am completely and utterly besotted with him…. so in love with my babygorl

[televinita]

Books Read in 2023: The Why

That's right, just because it's much closer to 2025 than 2023 doesn't mean I can't still pull out this out! Mostly because I found in my Tumblr drafts that I had already done the work of putting the cover collages together, and what am I gonna do, waste that?

ANYWAY, BOILERPLATE EXPLANATION TIME: In a tradition I accidentally started for myself in 2016, at the end of the year I look back at my reading list and answer the question, why did you read this particular book? Books are arranged in chronological order of read date (unless it made more sense to put series books together), split into groups by target readership age, plus nonfiction at the end. As best I can tell, anyway; choosing between YA & middle grade for older books is often a trip. I'll toss in "how I heard of it" if I can still remember...

ADULT FICTION

(split into two parts because there are a lot)

Run Rose Run - Dolly Parton & James Patterson. 2022.

Half the promise of a companion album, half just because “girl runs away to become a country star” sounds like the only-slightly-older version of my beloved Somebody Everybody Listens To.

How I heard of it: a book blog

Treasure State - C.J. Box. 2022.

Read & enjoyed the whole Cassie DeWell series so far (this is #6).

The Pink House - Louise Platt Hauck. 1933. Family Matters - Louise Platt Hauck. 1934.

See this post.

These Silent Woods - Kimi Cunningham-Graham. 2021.

Recommended by a Goodreads friend + father-daughter bonds* + self-sufficient life off the grid. (*the PLAN was to picture Owen + Maisie but then this gifset from Big Sky happened)

The Siren of Sussex - Mimi Matthews. 2022.

The Belle of Belgrave Square - Mimi Matthews. 2022.

Don't know what Past Me was doing with the collage order here, but I read Belle first -- originally checked out because beautiful cover + horses + Beauty and the Beast retelling for the latter. But on this particular day? I started with the second one because I was on day 2 of my Tom Hiddleston Spiral and omg look who just so happens to have a romance on deck featuring a British love interest.

And then I cycled back to the first book, now even more enthusiastic about my plan to cast Dev Patel as the love interest.

How I heard of it: book blogs

The Santa Suit - Mary Kay Andrews. 2021.

Picked it up for the cute cover, and then the first page was so much like the start of Arnie and a House Full of Company (woman driving up with her pets to a beautiful but decidedly overgrown/neglected old house she’s about to move into) that I got immediately sucked in.

How I heard of it: used book sale

Twenty-One Truths About Love - Matthew Green. 2019.

List format, bookstore owner, and mainly: it’s so flippin’ rare to find books about married couples in love whose only conflict is external, let alone such books from the man’s perspective.

How I heard of it: Barnes & Noble

The Bookshop of Secrets - Mollie Rushmeyer. 2022.

Beautiful cover + MN setting + antiquarian bookshop + hunting for a lost local treasure??

How I heard of it: can't remember :[

A Different Blue - Amy Harmon. 2013.

A mostly-age-appropriate student/teacher romance which I have saved for a billion years to get the casting right, only to throw that plan to the wind when I decided I could use Hiddleston for this too (plan quickly abandoned as he does not fit at all beyond sharing a nationality)

How I heard of it: Goodreads, a full decade ago

This Bird Has Flown - Susanna Hoffs. 2023.

I MAY have been googling keywords trying to find a novel that reminded me of Hiddleswift, and instead I got a way better option for casting him in (this one worked beautifully).

The Escape - Lisa Harris. 2020.

Bought cheap at a book sale because thriller (marshalls hunting an escaped fugitive) in the woods/mountains!

A Thing of Beauty - Lisa Samson. 2018.

Thought it would be a romance plus an element of cleaning out a hoarder’s house. "Former child star" sounded cool too.

How I heard of it: used book sale

Love For Beginners - Jill Shalvis. 2021.

Bought cheap because beautiful cover + a summery romance including dogs.

How I heard of it: used book sale

Bellman & Black - Diane Setterfield. 2013.

Jack Davenport narrates the audiobook and literally no other reasons.

How I heard of it: Libby (the app)

Smothered - Autumn Chiklis. 2018.

It me! (I’ve never seen another book about a college grad who immediately moves back home with her parents and struggles to find a job.)

How I heard of it: Dollar store

Doctor Who: Autonomy - Daniel Blythe. 2009.

Tie-in novels featuring Ten are always quick/fun/easy fare, and this one is set in a mall (!), but mostly, the audiobook is narrated by Georgia Tennant.

How I heard of it: Libby

Something Wilder - Christina Lauren. 2022.

A romance featuring an overnight trip on horseback AND searching for treasure?? Sold.

How I heard of it: Book blogs or YouTube

Famous For a Living - Melissa Ferguson. 2023.

A romance featuring an Instagram Influencer detoxing (fleeing the backlash of a scandal) via a job in a National Park? Sign me all the way up.

How I heard of it: Once Upon a Book Club

Dr. Laurie's Conquest - Berta LaVan Barker. 1980.

Bought cheap because romance about a vet, w/ specific mention of a horse. Read now for the Mount TBR challenge because it’s short.

How I heard of it: Goodwill

Something Wild & Wonderful - Anita Kelly. 2023.

Pacific Crest Trail = hiking inspiration! (and a side of romance never hurts)

How I heard of it: a book blog

Tin Camp Road - Ellen Airgood. 2021.

Loved her middle grade novels and wanted more of her writing; this plot looked more exciting than her adult debut.

How I heard of it: Goodreads/author's back catalog

The Grim Reader - Kate Carlisle. 2020.

Cute cover, and cozy mysteries make great audiobooks, especially when book-centric.

How I heard of it: Goodwill

Lady Sunshine - Amy Mason Doan. 2021.

Beautiful cover, I loved her debut, 70s music scene in one timeline, and inheriting an estate in the other? Sold.

How I heard of it: Barnes & Noble

The Small Room - May Sarton. 1961.

Small, compact size + an intriguing setting and premise perfect for the fall season (young English instructor’s first teaching job at a New England liberal arts college; the publication date added to the intrigue).

How I heard of it: used book sale

The Study of Animal Languages - Lindsay Stern. 2019.

It is not very often you find novels about two college professors married to each other. Also, the title topic intrigued me.

How I heard of it: used book sale

Two Rogues Make a Right - Cat Sebastian. 2020.

Good Omens Season 2 briefly awoke the slash urge in me, and then this happened. Reviews calling this an indulgent, plotless pile of hurt/comfort fluff (positive) sealed the deal.

How I heard of it: Reddit

Home Before Dark - Riley Sager. 2020.

Hype convinced me to try one of his books; a woman restoring a supposedly haunted house definitely looked like the best one.

How I heard of it: book blogs, originally, I think

Lock Every Door - Riley Sager. 2019.

The House Across The Lake - Riley Sager. 2022.

I LOVED the above and immediately wanted more, and since the waitlist for his new one was too long I went for the next-best-sounding ones because they had the coolest settings (and THEN I was finally satiated for a while).

The Paris Apartment - Lucy Foley. 2022.

I had such a good time with Lock Every Door that obviously, it was time for another apartment mystery I’d been vaguely thinking about reading for a while, again due to its cool setting.

How I heard of it: book blogs

The Apartment - S.L. Grey. 2016.

When I searched the above in my library catalog, this title came up in relation. Absolutely I want to read a horror book set in a Paris apartment! (especially as the age difference between the MC and his wife maybe made me think about Michael Sheen & Anna. don’t judge me)

A Paris Apartment - Michelle Gable. 2014.

This ALSO came up in the search results and HELL YEAH I would like to read a novel based on one of the most fascinating news stories I’ve ever heard. (I actually had two options for this, but went with this one first because it seemed more literary; I wasn’t really in the mood for a romance)

Dead To Me - Cath Staincliffe. 2012. Bleed Like Me - Cath Staincliffe. 2013. Ruthless - Cath Staincliffe. 2014.

Catching up the Scott & Bailey TV series, learned they have tie-in novels?? IMMEDIATELY checked the first one out of my library and had such a good time with it that I rounded up the remaining ones ASAP.

How I heard of it: library catalog

The Good Turn - Dervla McTiernan. 2020.

Still in the mood for detective fiction from across the pond so time to finish out this trilogy.

When The Reckoning Comes - LaTanya McQueen. 2021.

This had some good reviews and I was intrigued by the prospect of a horror novel featuring a wedding at a haunted plantation. Maybe a mob of ghostly former slaves bringing a bloodbath? (no. it’s not that graphic. But it’s really good)

How I heard of it: a book blog

Plain Bad Heroines - Emily Danforth. 2020.

Her debut exceeded expectations so I was vaguely curious about this very different book, since she’s only published the two in over a decade, but my interest was solidified when I found an ARC copy with a promotional fake-newspaper insert inside. Wanted context for appreciating that.

How I heard of it: Goodreads/author's back catalog

Fair As A Star - Mimi Matthews. 2020.

Watching The Essex Serpent means I’m back on my stan train following a summer break, and what’s that? My new favorite romance author has one featuring a vicar?

How I heard of it: Goodreads/author's back catalog

You Look Something - Jessica Mehta. 2020.

Random library shelf pull because short read, interesting cover and premise (first-in-her-family college student, but written for an adult audience), and immediately intriguing writing style.

A Haunting on the Hill - Elizabeth Hand. 2023.

Cool cover + “officially licensed return to the setting of Shirley Jackson’s novel”?? The setting was the best part of that book so I hoped this would be the actually-scary version of what I wanted that one to be.

How I heard of it: ooh...can't remember if Goodreads, book blog or YouTube

Daughter of No Worlds - Carissa Broadbent. 2020. Children of Fallen Gods - Carissa Broadbent. 2021.

This random tumblr post about a series I'd never heard of before immediately sparked a vague hope to make this Loki/Sylvie-shaped; liked the first book enough to throw myself into the second, though I got burned out and have yet to finish the trilogy.

The Missing Treasures of Amy Ashton - Eleanor Ray. 2021.

“It's easier to love things than people. Things are safe. Things will never leave you.” I've never identified harder with a line from a book summary in my life.

How I heard of it: ...Goodreads? maybe? COME ON SELF this was literally only 10 months ago.

The Minuscule Mansion of Myra Malone - Audrey Burges. 2023.

A (magic) dollhouse and a 30-something reclusive blogger? It me! Add an implied romance with a guy who (somehow) owns the real-life version of the mansion and this sounds tailor-made for me.

How I heard of it: BookOutlet

Forgotten Trail - Claire Kells. 2023.

Read & enjoyed the first two in this National Parks mystery series, new November tradition unlocked.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Thornyhold - Mary Stewart. 1988.

Saw a cool illustration in a Readers Digest Condensed and wanted full context because I always love a Cool Mysterious Overgrown Inherited House.

How I heard of it: did I count this as "in another book" or "used book sale" when I made my graphs last year, I wonder.

The Last Ranger - Peter Heller. 2023.

I really like the way he writes both nature and men. (I also may have been fully immersed in my Jensen-Ackles-in-Big-Sky era.)

How I heard of it: Barnes & Noble

Just Like Magic - Sarah Hogle. 2022.

Loved her previous romance, and though skeptical about this one, I trusted the 5-star rec of a blogger with very similar reading tastes (she was CORRECT).

How I heard of it: a book blog

========

YOUNG ADULT / TEEN

(again broken into two segments because there are a lot)

The Little Woods - McCormick Templeman. 2012.

Bought cheap because pretty cover + boarding school murder mystery

How I heard of it: used-book section of Barnes & Noble

Lawless Spaces - Corey Ann Haydu. 2022.

Mostly the beautiful cover, a little bit the promise of stories from multiple generations of women in one family.

How I heard of it: book blog

Friends Like These - Jennifer Lynn Alvarez. 2022.

Loved her first YA thriller.

How I heard of it: Goodreads/author's back catalog

Scattered Showers: Stories - Rainbow Rowell. 2022.

I love her but not all of her writing styles; after waiting One Eternity (9 years) for more contemporary writing from her I did not hesitate.

How I heard of it: book blog

We Walked the Sky - Lisa Fiedler. 2019.

Dual timelines: one teen a circus performer, the other her granddaughter who’s just inherited a Box of Memorabilia?? Two things I adore.

How I heard of it: dollar store

Butterfly Yellow - Thanhhà Lại. 2019.

Mostly intrigued by the working-on-a-ranch aspect.

How I heard of it: book blog

Five Survive - Holly Jackson. 2022.

Liked the whole AGGGTM trilogy, was excited to try a different and more thriller-y flavor from her.

How I heard of it: book blogs or YouTube?

Texas Gothic - Rosemary Clement-Moore. 2011.

A google result while trying to find a lost book for someone, and: Ranch-sitting? Ghosts? Kitchen-witch type magic in an otherwise real-world setting? That beautiful cover? SOLD.

Maybe One Day - Melissa Kantor. 2014.

Cancer novel + best friends have both been reliable staples for me in YA.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

The Last Secret You'll Ever Keep - Laurie Faria Stolarz. 2021.

Sequel (or really companion novel) to a book that impressed me 2 years ago.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

If You Find Me - Emily Murdoch. 2013.

Intense curiosity about how a girl who'd been hidden away in a trailer in the woods with her little sister by their neglectful mom for almost a decade would cope with a return to society and her bio dad.

How I heard of it: used book sale

Coming Back Alive - Dennis J. Reader. 1981.

70s teens running away to live off the land is one of my favorite tropes.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

The Final Gambit - Jennifer Lynn Barnes. 2022.

Love this series!

A Wild Thing - Jean Renvoize. 1970.

Another 70s teen running away to live off the land. This time in Scotland!

How I heard of it: lost-book forum on either Reddit or Goodreads

Beloved Monster - Helen Markley Miller. 1968.

18-year-old girl inherits a sprawling mansion? LET’S GO! Especially if it’s also vintage.

How I heard of it: ooh, it's been 5+ years, can't remember. Maybe a Goodreads friend?

The Perfect Place to Die - Bryan Moore. 2019.

Oh I ABSOLUTELY want to read a YA novel set in Chicago’s infamous murder mansion.

How I heard of it: Goodreads (via a staff rec post)

Song of the Shaggy Canary - Phyllis Anderson Wood. 1974.

A slow-burn romance between a divorced teen mom and a 20-year-old recently discharged soldier? Sign me up.

How I heard of it: pretty sure it was one of the Speaking for Ourselves volumes.

Loki: Where Mischief Lies - Mackenzie Lee. 2019.

Step 1: watch the Loki series as a result of your newfound actor stanning + an influential gifset, fall in love with the character and the seemingly-canon ship.

Step 2: immediately google for YA novels with this dynamic.

Step 3: have officially licensed YA fanfic fall straight into your lap.

I Tell A Lie Every So Often - Bruce Clements. 1974.

Found at a book sale, vaguely wanted to read ever since reading an essay about it in Lost Masterworks of Young Adult Literature.

Losing Gabriel - Lurlene McDaniel. 2016. Somebody's Baby - Lurlene McDaniel. 2017.

Books 3 and 4 in a series I love that the library doesn’t have; I already owned the latter and was glad to be able to continue after buying the third at a book sale.

The Last Exit to Normal - Michael Harmon. 2008.

Got it in a blind bag and thought it would be interesting to read about a teen (in Montana!) coming to terms with his fairly-newly-out gay dad’s relationship. (narrator: it wasn’t)

Camper Girl - Glenn Erick Miller. 2020.

Inherited camper-van + road trip!

How I heard of it: Goodreads

The Year of the Rat - Clare Furniss. 2014.

Bought cheap because unusual premise in YA (mom dies giving birth to second child) + pretty cover.

How I heard of it: used-book section of Barnes & Noble

You Look Different In Real Life - Jennifer Castle. 2013.

Needed an audiobook, unusual premise for YA (reality/documentary series checking in every 5 years with teens they first filmed in kindergarten).

How I heard of it: Libby

Thief of Happy Endings - Kristen Chandler. 2018.

Love this author, plus horses. Specifically, mustangs!

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Summer of Sloane - Erin L. Schneider. 2016.

Pretty cover and just looked like a solid, summery contemporary YA novel.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

The Lake House - Sarah Beth Durst. 2023.

WHAT IN THE AWESOME SPOOK COVER (also, stuck on an island with an obviously and very unexpectedly abandoned/destroyed summer camp?? Spoooook!)

How I heard of it: YouTube, and I even specifically remember where -- GabbyReads

The Foreseeable Future - Emily Adrian. 2018.

Beautiful cover + unusual post-grad life plans (working as a CNA instead of college) always interest me

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Don’t Slam The Door When You Go - Barbara Corcoran. 1972.

I love this author...and yes, we have yet another round of runaways trying to live off the land. :D But this time in a ghost town!

How I heard of it: OpenLibrary

The Last Beautiful Girl - Nina Laurin. 2021.

Beautiful cover + Influencer + creepy historic maybe-haunted house, sold.

How I heard of it: Barnes & Noble

The Island - Natasha Preston. 2023.

Reliable (if mid) genre author + an empty amusement park setting? also, Influencers being lured to creepy islands for Murder Reasons never gets old.

How I heard of it: YouTube

Mermaid Park - Beth Mayall. 2005.

A google result while looking for a lost book title, idea of a girl training as a “mermaid” swimmer at a theme park sounded intriguing.

Everything Beautiful Is Not Ruined - Danielle Younge-Ullman. 2017.

I’ll read basically anything you have about teens being sent to Wilderness Struggle therapy, so this was on my TBR, but was particularly motivated after reading Paris Hilton's memoir and not being able to (cheaply) get my hands on Sarah Stusek's book.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

The Body of Christopher Creed - Carol Plum-Ucci. 2000.

Loved her second novel, have been curious about this one due to its acclaim for a while and then I found it at a book sale – read quickly to send it on its way again.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Creep: A Love Story - Lygia Day Penaflor. 2022.

Teen girl rationalizes stalking to enhance the experience of shipping her very-accessible real-life OTP? Sounds like the less-legal, IRL form of what we do every day with our favorite celebrity couples on social media and I was curious to see it play out. A little bit because I also made personal celebrities out of some classmates in school, so I recognize the thrill of seeing them in person, though I did not stalk them.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Silver: Return to Treasure Island - Andrew Motion. 2012.

90% because the audiobook is narrated by David Tennant and for once it’s not part of an obnoxiously silly children’s series. 10% because adventure and treasure-hunting.

How I heard of it: Libby

Game Change - Joseph Monninger. 2017.

I like this author and have a soft spot for high school football (further enhanced by the football-player character on the new Goosebumps series).

How I heard of it: used book sale

The Unfinished Life of Addison Stone - Adele Griffin. 2014.

Mixed media formatting! Such a cool and unusual way to tell a narrative.

How I heard of it: I thiiink, many years ago, I was specifically googling for books with unusual formatting.

Heartwood Box - Ann Aguirre. 2019.

"When Araceli Flores Harper is sent to live with her great-aunt Ottilie in her ramshackle Victorian home--" literally sold. (combined with how it looked like a horror book w/ the possibility of ghosts)

How I heard of it: used book sale

Sunny Song Will Never Be Famous - Suzanne Park. 2021.

Cute cover and title, YouTuber in need of social media detox, FARM IN IOWA SETTING?? Sold.

How I heard of it: library browsing

Nobody Else Can Walk It For You - P.J. Petersen. 1982.

Found on the “free” cart shortly after hearing about it on Goodreads' lost-book forum and thinking it sounded like a cool thriller.

Dream to Me - Megan Paasch. 2023.

Haunting cover similar to my beloved Amelia Unabridged, sisters, inheriting a mildly creepy old house

How I heard of it: library browsing

These Things I've Done - Rebecca Phillips

Bought cheap at the dollar store for the girl-dating-late-best-friend’s-brother aspect (shared grief ftw!). Read now to confirm I could unhaul it.

=========

CHILDREN'S / MIDDLE GRADE

Survival Strategies of the Almost Brave - Jen White. 2015.

Bought cheap at the dollar store because cool cover + sisters fending for themselves when abandoned by dad.

Polo Cowboy - G. Neri. 2021.

Sequel to a surprising hit I read last year.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

The Diddakoi - Rumer Godden. 1972.

Recommended by a Goodreads friend because horse! + Traveler girl + reliable classic author.

Stella - McCall Hoyle. 2021. Just Gus - McCall Hoyle. 2023.

Dog book! recommended by a Goodreads friend. Loved it so much I read the companion novel ASAP.

Grand National - John R. Tunis. 1973.

Bought cheap at Goodwill because vintage horse book; read now to see if I could get rid of it (yes).

Running Out of Time - Margaret Peterson Haddix. 1995. Falling Out of Time - Margaret Peterson Haddix. 2023.

Reread of a childhood classic in anticipation of the new sequel.

Ten Miles Past Normal - Frances O'Roark Dowell. 2011.

I wanted to read about a girl growing up on a goat farm.

How I heard of it: OpenLibrary

Sweet Home Alaska - Carole Etsby Dagg. 2016.

I liked her previous book and was excited to learn about another part of American history that was new to me.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Thornbush Jungle - Rutherford G. Montgomery. 1966.

I will read anything he writes about animals.

How I heard of it: antiquarian bookstore

Maisie Lockwood Adventures no. 2: The Yosemite Six - Tess Sharpe. 2022.

Loved the first book, finally bought the second when I couldn't borrow it from anywhere.

The Eagle's Shadow - Nora Martin. 1997.

Reminded me of my favorite childhood movie, Journey to Spirit Island (at least in terms of setting and a similar culture).

How I heard of it: used book sale

Lila and Hadley - Kody Keplinger. 2020.

Girl + dog story, with a photographic cover (is the only thing that overcame my author grudge).

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Me, The Beef and the Bum - Charles Hammer. 1984.

50% funny title, 50% I love cows

How I heard of it: a book about teen books

Sardines - Sashi Kaufman. 2022.

Pleasantly surprised by her ability to write boys in YA, waited a million years for a third release from her (even if it was middle grade).

How I heard of it: Goodreads

The Vandals of Treason House - Nancy Veglahn. 1974.

Vintage book about cleaning up & learning about a historic house? Neato.

How I heard of it: Goodreads/lost book forum

Sire Unknown - Marjorie Reynolds. 1968.

“Read because…” Vintage horse book, next question. (as to why I read it NOW, working on the Mount TBR challenge and randomly pulled this from the shelf)

How I heard of it: used book sale

The Explorer - Katherine Rundell. 2017.

Liked a previous book of hers, always love “crashed and got lost in the jungle” stories.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

The Gallery - Laura Marx Fitzgerald. 2016.

STUNNING cover + excited to read about a girl working as a maid in a fancy 1920s mansion

How I heard of it: a book blog

NONFICTION

A $500 House in Detroit: Rebuilding an Abandoned Home and an American City - Drew Philp. 2019.

Available audiobook + always interested in old-house renovation.

How I heard of it: Libby

Wildflower - Drew Barrymore. 2015.

A People magazine cover story on her reminded me I had meant to read this, since she’s always been a favorite actress.

How I heard of it: ONTD

The Zoo on the Road to Nablus - Amelia Thomas. 2008.

Bought cheap because beautiful cover + always interested in reading about specific zoos, especially those affected by war in the Middle East.

How I heard of it: used-book section of Barnes & Noble

Gizelle's Bucket List: My Life With a Very Large Dog - Lauren Fern Watt. 2017.

Reminded me of Boomer’s Bucket List, but also I will read most pet memoirs

How I heard of it: Goodreads

My Bookstore - ed. Ronald Rice. 2012.

What could be better than a bunch of authors writing short essays about their favorite bookstore?

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Animals Welcome - Peg Kehret. 2012.

Who can say no to a short memoir aimed at kids about animal rescue, especially by a prolific children’s book author from my youth.

How I heard of it: used book sale

Open Book - Jessica Simpson. 2020.

I’ve always liked her despite not knowing much about her work; seeing this at Goodwill finally inspired a read.

How I heard of it: ONTD

The House of Spirits and Whispers - Annie Wilder. 2005.

Saw it at a garage sale, definitely here for a spooky haunted house of relatively local interest.

The Actor's Life: A Survival Guide - Jenna Fischer. 2017.

I LOVE HER.

How I heard of it: ...hm, can't remember! maybe ONTD, maybe just Office fandom in general?

This Is Not a Pity Memoir - Abi Morgan. 2022.

While in another acute round of stanning Mr. & Mrs. Tennant via the latter's social media, I was trying to figure out what kind of novel would most satisfyingly represent the vibes of their relationship and concluded it’s not the falling in love so much with them as it is the steadfast endurance, so maybe hurt/comfort in the form of illness? A bit of googling later and this was so wildly, absurdly on the nose despite being nonfiction (a British actor and a wife on the writing/production side of the industry, with kids) that I had to read it immediately.

Paris: The Memoir - Paris Hilton. 2023.

I don’t have strong feelings about her as a person, so I was mostly just curious – especially the part about being sent to abusive juvenile behavioral rehab facilities, a topic I’ve always found fascinating.

How I heard of it: ONTD

The Writer's Tale: The Final Chapter - Russell T. Davies & Benjamin Cook. 2010 edition.

Good Omens sends me directly into a Doctor Who renaissance, time to finally read this tome I’ve been saving since the last time that happened! (four years ago) This is the only era of Doctor Who I care about so the more detail, the better.

How I heard of it: Half Price Books. Like back when it was relatively new, and I was a fool who didn't get it because it was pricey.

The Last Bookseller: A Life in the Rare Book Trade - Gary Goodman. 2021.

The subject latter alone would have gotten my attention, but this was actually my favorite bookstore until it closed.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Lessons from Tara: Life Advice from the World’s Most Brilliant Dog - Andy Rosenfelt. 2015.

Read & loved his first book about big fluffy rescue dogs, wanted more. Read now because a Goodreads friend just read it and reminded me of that fact.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

The Office BFFs - Jenna Fischer & Angela Kinsey. 2022.

I LOVE THEM AND THEIR FRIENDSHIP AND THEIR PODCAST.

She Memes Well - Quinta Brunson. 2021.

Love Abbott Elementary; had completely forgotten this existed until I was looking at Goodreads Choice Awards nominees of years past and then read on a whim.

Tell Me Everything - Minka Kelly. 2023.

Speaking of things I found out about via Goodreads Choice, I don’t know much about her as a person, but she’s really pretty and this sounded compelling and harrowing.

Sold to the Lady in the Green Hat - Emma Bailey. 1962.

I love auctions (well, estate sales, but same principle), I love old books, and I LOVED the illustrations and charming humor of vintage domestic memoirs I saw immediately at a glance.

How I heard of it: sale corner of the library

The Woman in Me - Britney Spears. 2023.

Mild curiosity due to inescapable hype, but mostly just determination to publicly confirm it wasn’t any better than her sister’s book, which I read the year before.

How I heard of it: ONTD

=========

Whew!! Done. I'd like to tell you and myself that I'm keeping up with 2024's log, but I actually got bogged down in trying to log every detail (cover thoughts, where it's set, why I was drawn to it, why I read it now, where I got it from), and burned out around early June because this is also the year I'm going to read 200 books apparently.

And this post already feels pretty messy. So. I guess we'll just see if it is in fact the last one or not..

[crossbackpoke-check]

I was reading through your old reblogs and sage to say the tags you put on the Oilers shower post are amazing and I would love to read something like that!!

Copying and pasting the tags here (the blue text is the part I was talking about but I left the preceding tags for context if that makes sense?):

#there's another shower right next to the sitting shower 9 is it in the front corner of the picture? is that little glass alcove the entrance #to get in? like there's also horny potential for somebody in the big empty open space & somebody waiting to come in hesitating but you can #see their shadow & their silhouette in the glass the one outside the door knowing that the other is inside all alone showering but still not #coming in because they're giving them privacy etc being the last ones out & this doesn't feel like a connor/leon thing so maybe it's going #in the vague yamo pile but whoever's in the big shower room all alone jerking off & narrating & god knows sound would carry inside that #space & it could be that whoever's outside the door forgot something in there (left soap etc etc) & just happened to walk in on it (and/or #on whatever is going on in the shower stall) & can hear but can't see them but they can see them & can tell that they're watching/listening #through the frosted glass anyway ALSO what i was trying to get to with nuge/yamo (Imao i don't even think i said nuge at first) was like. #omega yamo who goes into heat/is playing through it & yamo gets ejected from the game with the narrative of nuge five for fighting for #defending him (maybe it's the end of the third maybe it's the second & nuge gets a 10 minute major & yamo gets pulled for a concussion check #because of the hit & then the doctors are like Imao stupid no you can't go back out you're in heat [yamo saw nuge fight for him 00] so the #two of them end up in there alone i like the middle of the second bc then nobody's there & wont be for a minute actually) but it's yamo in #the big open space & nuge outside the door checking to make sure he's okay & thinking that he'll be fine he can control it yamo won't smell #because he's in the showers nuge'll just bury his face in soap nuge waiting politely outside the door & yamo is being a MENACE. ohhhhh we're #gonna have to do research but what was the injury that yamo was out for be the original gifset that started this... this is the inciting event #yamo has been bullying nuge for AGES & by god he's gonna get what he wants even if it takes jerking off in the oilers home showers to bait #nuge into doing it. nuge like 'you ok?' has a conversation with yamo etc nuge: 'you gonna be ok to make it home' & yamo says yeah but not

If you were referring to the time Nuge fought Holl, it was a because Yamo took a bodycheck up high and he had to be taken back for concussion protocol just to be safe

^^^real life footage of me receiving and reading this ask 🥺🥰 i would ALSO love to read a fic like that akdhskdjak, but getting this ask made me actually start a doc for omega yamo being a nuisance so thank you (also if you wanted more vague thoughts, here’s the original gifset i reference)

i think i know exactly which fight you mean!! and i think it is saved in my drafts with unhinged thoughts waiting to be released 😇 if i’m right, this is a video that i had to save multiple times on multiple platforms because it was Important To Me

[jcndeukie]

jo bhira tere naino se taanka to  a a s h i q  s u r r e n d e r  h u a

[hyacinths-bridgerton]

THE STARKS ARE BY FAR THE MOST PROLIFIC FAMILY IN THE UPPER ECHELONS OF SOCIETY

⠀    Rickon Stark is not the easiest of boys.

    Okay, fine, he’s not easy at all, so much that his mother is having a hard time finding a match for him. And while he humors her by frequenting society more and more, he has also been spending time with a notable figure of the aristocracy, Ser Davos Seaworth. The old man, who was born in the lowers ranks of society and had fallen in favors with one of the noblest lords in Westeros, had not grown apart of his acid amusements and sharp tongue. He was definitely Rickon’s favorite person on the land.

    And this is how he meets Lady Shireen Baratheon.

    The only daughter of that same lord who has made Ser Davos rise in society, Lady Shireen is the kindest person to walk this Earth. She’s also highly rejected by her family because of her appearance, the big scar that covers great part of her face making both of her parents see her as unfit for all the duties she should perform as their only heir. All of this makes Ser Davos grow fond of the girl, having her almost as his own kin.

    When Shireen finds a diary from a dead relative, she’ll end up having Rickon’s help to discover her place in the family that dislikes her at the same time he will learns that the right person never cares about having it easy.

[phantombmoll]

When you hold me                      In your arms so tight                                        You let me know                                                           Everything's all right

            I'm hooked on a feeling                                     I'm high on believing                                                       That you're in love with me

          Maria & Giles - From: And The Wind Began To Howl

[dunderklumpen]

ggwcup bangkok (2017)

[thelassoway]

Andrew Scott as The Priest + Outfits    Sometimes I worry I’m only in it for the outfits.

Belated Happy Birthday @weekendsareforwine!

[envy-and-pride]

Samson | Display of Strength

[captainsamerica]

[lonelier-version-of-you]

Me: *spends ages, like, literally, I’ve been working on it for weeks, making a gifset of a really long Henrik scene, repeatedly has to sacrifice gif quality to keep the gifs long enough to fit the whole scene in 10 gifs while also staying under the 10MB gif size limit*

Me: *is currently working on gif 9 of this gifset*

Me: *opens Tumblr and uploads the gif to save to my drafts to make absolute sure it will upload properly*

Tumblr: btw you can upload up to 30 images in a post now :)

Me: ?!?!?!

[save-the-data]

TRAPPED | s01e01 

Full Episode List

Just realising that I haven’t done a Episode GIFset for Trapped, and since this has been sitting in my draft box for ages, well why not, in lockdown so not like I can go anywhere. So time to re-watch this drama again. 

[worldstyles]

“Sign of the times for me is kind of about several things. I feel like I listen to it in different ways every time. But I think it’s just about not getting too bogged down in bad stuff. I think life in general.. there’s a lot of bad stuff that happens. I think it’s important to remeber that there’s also a lot of amazing people doing amazing things as well.”

[jjeons]

content creator year in review ♡ tagged by @ajusnice @userjiminie @offtodef @jinvant @honsool @kooksv @jsuga @lifegoesmon @jiminslight @hobibestboy 

tysm for tagging me it was so fun to go through your posts you talented lovely peopleee 🥰♥

—  first creation of 2020 

this jungkook set from winter package akdnfdj (but this other one was next day and it’s one of my fav moments and also cuter.....so i can pretend)

— most recent creation?

jungkook’s log recap! sad i didn’t manage to make anything for tae’s bday this year either.. i want to start making more gifs on here again hhh

— a favourite creation of 2020?

this jungkook still with you post 🥺 it’s nothing amazing but i wanted to make something for the song. also this dynamite post . 

— a creation to be proud of?

the ones i mentioned above akjndn!! but just to add smth different i could say these jungkook and tae comps bcs it took me ages to get them to look cohesive 😭 i don’t rly like the jk colouring anymore but at least they match

— a new style to be proud of?

i never really had a style but i learned vapoursynth and life is easier for sure

— a creation which took forever?

everything i make takes forever because i’m so slow and indecisive :D but the blep tae gifset i mentioned above has been in my drafts since last year so i guess that one wins 

— 2020 creation with the most notes?

this set of tae just being gorgeous which mood

— a creation which deserved more notes?

the still with you post :( but i did expect it to flop so it’s okay

— a new fandom you joined this year and your creation for it?

i actually got into got7 and more recently the boyz kjfngn but i only made gifs for got7 and this jaebeom set! i didn’t like it when i posted but now i think it’s kinda cute fjkdngk

— a creation that you made that breaks your heart?

so i don’t repeat myself i will go for jungkook in the alphabet interview. makes me lose it every time AND this heartbreaking taekook moment

— a simple creation you love?

this tae set which is SO simple i didn’t even colour much but he’s just dreamy. also this jungkook set i guess. i also liked the idea from this hobi set idk much about the execution but! 

— a creation inspired by someone else?

my still with you set was inspired by the talented @girlonpanic !!

— a favourite creation created by someone else?

ah there were so many beautiful ones :( this made me realise i should’ve tagged faves sighh. these are some i could find searching my blog

@jiminfilter jimin core set (the whole series though) // @mapofbts black swan set  // @joenns dream boy sets 🥺 that go straight in my dream boy tag // @yoongikook bangtan art movements series // @joeguk intros set // @jinvant jin gfx was just sexy (despite our ongoing feud) // @ofkimtaehyung tae gfx // @jaebam come on gfx //  @jsuga snow flower gfx which i first saw while typing this but!! pretty // @syubb jungkook gfx // @offtodef jaebeom gfx // @slipped-away 

— some of your favorite content creators from the year

everyone mentioned above and everyone who tagged me ❤ + @oncupid @jung-koook @junghosoks @axizzles @tuanzie @wabisaba @gotseventeens @jbums @1of1orbit @ljaebeom @varietae @taemaknae @jjeongukks @jjungcooks @jjoon @dejune @taemines @taeguks @taehyungland @taeyungie @kimnamtaejin @everythingoes @kim-taehyung @jiminrolls @dazzlingkai @btsbee @faerieth @namgination @jimint @innerchildsgf @jmin @gwkie @yoonqiful @eternal-bangtan @ohjiminn (this is me urging you to come back :D)

tagging: everyone mentioned in this post is automatically tagged ofcc only if you want to 💗

[baodurs]

i filled out this super cool button character profile by @extraordinarymage for sabrina! thank you for making this, it was a lot of fun to fill out <3 the bulk of it is under a cut and oh boy is it long !!!

Short, Quick Reference

Name: Sabrina Wiseman

Pronouns: She/her

Sexuality: Bisexual

Love Interest: Kent

Main personality trait: Confidence

Secondary personality trait: Morbidity

Relationship with Nick: Full of love, haunted by unaddressed guilt and frustration. But mostly full of love.

Nickname for Nick: Saint Nick (used sparingly)

Resentful or accepting?: Slightly resentful

Main strategy (interpersonal, insightful, innovative?): Insightful

Ethical or expedient?: Expedient

GENERAL

Name: Sabrina Larkspur Wiseman

Nickname(s): Sab, used by anyone; Sabby, only Nick and Sally; and, of course, Button for Nick.

Birthday: I think I made her an October Libra for the purpose of a template I did months ago, but I’m not sure! No concrete birthday yet, I’m always very slow to nail down details like this.

Age: 20

Pronouns: She/her

Sexuality: Bisexual

Hair color + style: Blonde. A little past shoulder length, sometimes wavy. Usually a middle part. For Aeon, tied back in a bun.

Eye color: Blue, entirely because of the section of Frank O’Hara’s “Meditations in an Emergency” that goes, “My eyes are vague blue, like the sky...”

Height: 5′5

Piercings: Multiple in each ear, but a couple have started to close.

Tattoos: None yet! Sab likes the idea of a tattoo but is worried about finding the perfect design, whether she’d end up hating it, that the pain might be greater than she expects and she’ll look like a baby in front of her tattoo artist. I’d like to think she eventually consults Sally and/or Glitch to come up with an idea that she falls in love with, but I haven’t come up with what that would be!

Clothing style: Mostly solid colors, not a lot of patterns. Nothing super bright, but a fairly varied mix of pastels, neutrals, dark colors, black. Partial to denim skirts and sweater tops. Ankle boots. Likes a good turtleneck. She’s bolder when it comes to formal wear, and especially loves suits. Big fan of silk and satin.

Since she has a pretty accurate face claim, I’ll link some gifsets I’ve rb’d for appearance ref if you are so inclined.

STATS

I’m always adjusting minor things and swapping scenes around, but these are from my most recent Sab run! Most scores hover somewhere around these values.

Personality:

Confidence: 53%

Humor: 5%

Morbidity: 22%

Resentful: 57% | Accepting: 43%

Strategy:

Interpersonal: 12%

Insightful: 50%

Innovative: 10%

Ethical: 43% | Expedient: 57%

KEY DECISIONS:

What is Nick’s nickname and why?: Saint Nick, used very rarely. It’s a joking reference to the time she thought Santa was an evil Ment out to ruin Christmas, and a point about Nick overdoing it with the cheer. “Saint Nick” is usually code for “I know you mean well, but please mind your own business.” Otherwise, she just calls him Nick.

What is their favorite type of cookie (and its name and why?): Salted caramel chocolate chip! No special name.

What was their initial reaction to Sally hugging them, as kids?: She just froze. That could just be me projecting adult Sabrina onto her childhood self; I don’t imagine that she was as uncomfortable around strangers or quite as cautious back then. But that’s what I’ll stick with.

How did they ace the ASE test?: The in-game option she takes is “My entire life has revolved around strategic avoidance,” but the one about being just plain smart also sounds like her. If Sab has the chance to thoroughly (over)prepare for something, she will do it. Her mind blindness also has her constantly (over)analyzing situations. So, hard work and relentless anxiety!

Did they manage to win their first assignment? How?: Yes, by having Sally block the door. I’ve headcanoned some slight differences in how it plays out, which I wrote about in-depth here. To summarize, Sab thinks of blocking the door as a desperate last resort, not a clever loophole, and she pushes back against Rosy’s praise because she wishes she could have done it the “real” way. Rosy goes from being impressed to being annoyed that she’s willfully missing the point.

What was the primary emotion Button felt during the Aeon bombing (love, gratitude, etc?): Guilt. She feels very guilty about how much Nick has given up for her in general, but I think that in the moment, it’s on a smaller scale. The fact that Nick was on the phone with her when it happened, coming to her rescue like always, becomes emblematic of their whole relationship for her, and she really fixates on that.

Who drove them home from the hospital from and why?: Glitch. Sab responds to her initial text with “Are you sure?”, and is relieved when Glitch takes that as “Yes, please.” She doesn’t relish the idea of being around someone more connected to her family or Nick at that point.

How do they feel about Nick riding around in their mind?: Worried, at first. Just because it’s so unknown and absolutely insane. After seeing Doctor Amari, she’s excited! Sab is thrilled to be a Pollard Five and intends to take full advantage of it. I am not looking forward to seeing how she reacts when that’s taken away from her.

Why did Button agree to do the undercover mission?: To prove she still deserves to be an MIV. Sabrina feels stupid and reckless for putting herself, Nick, and Aeon in this position, but she knows she’s smart, and she hasn’t worked this hard for nothing. She wants to prove what she could do with a normal Pollard Score and make herself too valuable to give up even when she’s back to Zero.

Told Glitch about your mind blindness?: Depends on the playthrough. I’m constantly going back and forth on whether Sab meets Glitch for coffee or wanders the city with Nick in her second chapter 5 slot (after trying to track down Kent). If she does meet Glitch, though, she absolutely tells her; with how touchy Sab is about privacy, she couldn’t stomach not warning Glitch that Nick could hear everything they said.

Figured out K’s secret?: Nope. She finds enough of the clues to be given the “I knew it!” option in-game, but she didn’t actually put it together. Sab is too angry and embarrassed by learning that Kent is an AMO to find any reason to interrogate it. “The random guy I met before school just happens to be a jerk” is a perfectly sound explanation to her.

Found Noh’s clues?: Not at the metro station. Sometimes she sees the Vengeance brooms in chapter 5 (again, depending on the playthrough), but that’s it.

ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP:

Love Interest: Kent

Why them?: Sab feels an immediate kinship with Kent after learning about the NPO program. It’s kind of funny how quickly he moves from the least sympathetic position in her eyes (Ment who got past me and read my mind without my knowledge) to the most sympathetic (non-powered child of a prominent family aiming a league above where he “belongs”). A lot of new respect for his competence. Her fate is sealed when she realizes that his kindness at the hospital wasn’t him trying to make up for some wrongdoing, but just him being very sweet. (She had scoffed over “You needed help.” But now she’s like, “Oh. He meant that?! Fuck.”)

As they spend more time together, Sab realizes how weirdly similar they are in other ways, too. And she starts to feel safe/secure around him in a way that she’s extremely not used to. Growing up surrounded by Ments, Sab has a lot of issues about being too much, too difficult, needing to “be worthy” of love. So someone like Kent who is not a Ment, who has no “obligation” to care about her, and whose judgement she trusts implicitly? Being around him and being loved by him mean a lot, and I think will go a long way towards helping her reflect on her other relationships!

What are their first impressions of each other?: Okay, there are like 3 first impressions with Kent. First: he’s tall and handsome and secretly adorable, and they have similar career goals, so she’s drafting a five-month plan to woo him and get his number. Second: he’s a lying, self-obsessed loser who owes her many explanations. Third: oh no, the first impression was true! And he’s been continually, selflessly kind to her in spite of her overt hostility. Scratch the five-month plan, because the crush was only fun when it was entirely superficial; now she really, really likes him and that just sucks.

We know that Button makes a good impression on K by stopping for their dogs, but apart from that... I mean, the “we confused each other” from chapter 7 is very apt. Sab has lots of shifting personas, and Kent sees pretty much every one within 24 hours. The prevailing impression before everything gets cleared up is probably just that she cares a lot? About everything? Her stopping for the dogs, how seriously she takes the first assignment, the way she seems so deeply affected by something he said or did that morning. It’s a rare side of her to meet first because she usually pretends to be above everything.

What feature does your Button find most attractive in their RO (ex. appearance, personality, etc.)?: Probably his composure. And his... steadfastness? The way he seems unruffled by anything, his soothing presence. She really admires that about him and finds the calm contagious.

What do they do to spend time together?: Going on drives together! Kent driving while Sab plays songs she thinks he’ll like, talking or not talking. Cuddling on the couch while reading their own separate books. Museum dates. Walking the dogs together.

Do they argue? How do they handle arguments and disagreements? How do they make up?: I imagine that the first month or so of their relationship would be difficult, just because they’re both bad at expressing themselves and not used to relying on other people. Kent kind of negates a lot of Sab’s impulses to get defensive or hostile, so instead of arguments, I think there are more likely to be awkward periods where she’s just stewing in something without addressing it. Most of their fights would be, like, one of them becoming really distant for a concerning number of days until the other tries to awkwardly check in on them.

What does their future look like?: Uhh some random lore: I think eventually they do get married, despite neither of them caring that much about it. Sabrina would be excited to have something to plan, and she knows it would make the people around her happy. They have a long engagement; there’s never really an “official” proposal, just an acknowledgement that yeah, they’ll get married one day, and then eventually they get rings. The engagement is almost Sab’s favorite part, honestly. She likes planning and showing off her ring and calling Kent her fiancé, a lot of fanfare on her part for a wedding that ends up being very modest and chill.

OTHER RELATIONSHIPS (Feel free to go in depth!)

Relationship with Nick: When I first started developing Sab, I thought that with as difficult/prickly as she can be, her relationship with Nick would be worse than it is. Never bad, but certainly strained, with more jealousy/resentment on her side. However, she rejected this. She is resentful, but never towards Nick—she internalizes the negative parts of their relationship so they manifest as guilt instead. And that’s the problem, not resentment. Sab thinks he’s overprotective, but that doesn’t make her angry; it just makes her sad. She wishes things were different and he didn’t feel so responsible for her, but she also doesn’t know how she could manage without him taking on so many of her burdens. So, guilt! So much love, but always looming guilt.

Having Nick in her head has helped. It’s added a new kind of guilt (“I’m a horrible person for being so giddy that people can’t hear my thoughts even though that requires my brother to be in a coma”), but getting inside Nick’s head for once and really feeling his love for her changes things. Makes her feel way more secure, I guess? It’s easier to see her brother as human person, a friend who loves her, rather than a perfect selfless paragon who sacrificed everything to raise her, which is an important shift.

There are also Things happening with self-presentation in the fact that they’re both models, and flirts, and pretend to be shallow. And the ways that they’ve responded to vastly different expectations. And selflessness versus selfishness. But I have no idea how to talk about that yet.

Relationship with Father: Strained and distant. Sabrina doesn’t necessarily blame him for leaving, but she hates how he’s handled it. She’s incredibly frustrated that John insists on keeping them in this miserable limbo of uncomfortable visits, even though moving away was (to her) a tacit acknowledgement that she and her parents are better off without each other. He’s trying to force a relationship that Sab thinks is ultimately harmful for everyone involved. For Nick’s sake, she’s willing to grin and bear the visits, but it never works because John can obviously tell it’s an act. He pushes her, she gets defensive, and so on to infinity.

Relationship with Mother: Like with John, Sab doesn’t resent Hope for the incident itself, or for leaving afterward. It was terrifying, and the idea of being around Hope makes her panic—but she thinks of that as just another irrational anxiety symptom, and she’s trying to work through it. What she does resent Hope for is letting it get to that point at all. Sab is incredibly bitter that Hope will suffer silently to the point of almost killing her (during the incident) and potentially herself (with the BRS), while Sab has no choice but to be completely open. Especially because they’re so similar in that way—she’s almost jealous. “Oh, so your silence is allowed to almost kill me and it’s ‘nobody’s fault’ but I can’t pretend to enjoy a single lunch with Dad without him calling me out for lying?”

And even though she doesn’t hold the incident itself against her, Sab is very hung up on “Why are you never quiet? Why are you always there?” She knows, on some level, that this was not a Personal Judgement against her. But because Hope keeps so much quiet, this is the only honest expression of her mother’s feelings that she can remember! It would take a lot for Sab to believe that Hope was really, genuinely interested in reconnecting with her, rather than just pretending to love her "enough” this time because to do otherwise would reflect poorly on Hope as a mother.

Relationship with Sally: Besties <3 Sally is the only member of the Wiseman inner circle that Sab doesn’t have complicated feelings about. They both have hidden morbid streaks that they bring out in each other, and can laugh about. They both have competitive streaks that work well together because they’re always on the same team. And their wants/needs from the relationship complement each other well, I think. Sally has always felt valued because she’s useful and not because she’s loved, while Sab has always felt smothered by love/care without feeling like she genuinely adds value to other people’s lives. So it means a lot to both of them that they’re able to help each other practically, while also genuinely loving and supporting each other outside of that.

Relationship with Gray: Full of trust and genuine care, but predicated on distance. Sab loves him a lot for being so careful not to cross any boundaries, physical or emotional, with her. She’s grateful that he’s there for Nick in a way that she doesn’t feel she can be. But "I like Gray because he doesn’t push me and is good to Nick” means that any hand he extend makes her defensive, because she’ll either view him as an emissary of Nick or start to panic because their normal routine is being disrupted (she doesn’t tell him about Hope in ch 3, for example).

They get along very well in a friend-of-a-friend sort of way, and bond over being cautious counterparts to Nick. Also, Sab never had a crush on Gray, but she is not immune to tall superhero and thinks it’s fun to fake flirt with him. (You know Isabela’s “You have pretty eyes” routine from DA2? Sab does that to Gray when conversations steer towards things she’d rather not talk about.)

Relationship with Glitch: I’m really excited about these two! They click from the start, and Sabrina feels immediately comfortable around Glitch, which makes her feel distinctly uncomfortable whenever she catches herself. Externally, they have pretty different personalities, but they’re both perceptive and... socially manipulative? aware of their self-presentation?... in ways that they both pick up on right away. So it’s a lot of conversational maneuvering and trying to figure out what the other’s game is, while also genuinely enjoying each other’s company.

Relationship with Kent/Kenna: I could go truly insane here. See the romance section above instead.

Relationship with Kim: Sab wants him to like her sooooo bad. He’s one of the only people to ever really get through to her, re: my headcanon conversation after the first assignment. Authority figures tend to treat her as special, whether that’s negatively because of her mind blindness or positively because she’s such an overachiever. She had no idea how to respond to that not being the case (and didn’t handle it well at first), but chapter 6 solidifies her respect for him.

It also turns Rosy’s opinion of Sab around; he was impressed by her in class but left his office thinking she was self-absorbed and naive. But the bombing is a reality check, and her response is very measured and practical in a way that surprises him.

Relationship with Lev: She doesn’t mind the comparisons to Nick or the “maybe one day they’ll fix you” comments as much as you might think. They aren’t her favorite, but she prefers that sort of thing to the inspirational platitudes belied by coddling that she got from her family growing up. Sab has fond memories of Lev and is grateful that he’s always been kind to her, but doesn’t have any particular feelings apart from that.

Relationship with Clarence: Holds a grudge against him for causing a scene, making her late, and generally being a jerk. But she can’t fault him for being right, after what happened! Mostly she just wants to avoid him, but she’ll be thrilled to lord her success over him if/when she proves herself.

Relationship with Dean Branham: Like Rosy, another authority figure that Sab desperately wants to impress. But without the personal investment she has in Rosy’s validation, more “Oh, this person is in charge, so I should make her like me!” Despite Nick’s and Rosy’s reservations, Sabrina doesn’t really have a problem with being “strongarmed” or manipulated into cooperating; for now, she figures Branham was just doing her job and respects her tactics.

Relationship/attitude towards Ments in general: Mostly just uncomfortable and wary around them. Sab doesn’t want her mind read, and she figures that no Ment wants to be forced to read it either. So she has a pretty strict “no Ments” rule for close personal relationships (excluding Nick, Sally, and Gray, of course. But only Nick really counts because he’s the only one who can hear her thoughts whenever she’s nearby). Not out of hatred or resentment, just because she knows it will be easier for everyone in the long run.

Do they have any other important relationships, past or present? (Relatives, friends, etc.?): Not many, but yes! Sab dated around a lot in the 2 years before Aeon (more like year and a half, because she completely shut it down once she was more focused on preparing for the MIV program), but there are 2 relationships that were formative/important for her. A high school sweetheart, and someone Sab met through modeling. She doesn’t keep up with her high school ex, but the model is her best friend outside of Sally and Nick, and they still keep in touch! I’m still developing them/the relationships, and I’ll probably post more about them someday. They’re fun!

PERSONAL BIO

Describe their personality: Confusing and contradictory. She has two main modes that confuse people who meet both (e.g., Kent). She’s either cold, stuck-up, and sometimes hostile, OR she’s charming, frivolous, and sometimes flirty. Mode 1 is tense but stoic and inexpressive; mode 2 is seemingly relaxed but very posed and insincere. Mode 1 is for when she feels uncertain or has no agenda apart from “get to point B”; mode 2 is for when she’s more comfortable or trying to manipulate someone. Her actual personality is a bit closer to the second, but she doesn’t pretend not take things seriously or hide when she’s annoyed.

Strengths: Analytical, methodical, detail-oriented. Very driven and hardworking. May not always act like it, but does have social skills/charisma; a great liar, if you can’t read her mind. Unfailingly loyal and loving to her favorite people, so so so warm and affectionate and supportive if she really loves you. Very perceptive.

Weaknesses: Way too proud. Can be petty and vindictive. Self-absorbed (she doesn’t mean anything by it, but it’s hard for her to see past herself sometimes). Stubborn, hates being wrong. And... emotional isn’t the word, but strong negative emotions can really cloud her judgement. It ties into her being proud, petty, and stubborn; if she’s really upset about something, she can cling to that emotion instead of re-evaluating it or moving forward.

Phobias: From this ask about the phobias that are planned to show up in-game, there are a few that I could see fitting Sab, but I want to wait to see how they’re implemented before I fully commit. Which is very metagame-y, I know (and I am very metagame-y about IF), but “fear of X” is so broad that it really does depend on when/how it manifests in the text.

That being said, agoraphobia is almost a lock; crowds do make Sab very anxious if she can’t keep track of everyone within a certain distance, and if she can’t leave when she starts feeling antsy. Claustrophobia is a maybe. The choice that triggers it (in chapter 4, about hating MRI machines) suits Sab, but I’m not sure if she hates MRI machines because she hates tight spaces, or if it’s more related to her general anxiety about hospitals, medical tests, etc. Which she definitely has!

What activities/club did they do in school?: She avoided anything group-oriented as far as possible. She took piano (maybe violin?) lessons and did recitals, but wasn’t in orchestra. The one exception was maybe National Honor Society or some equivalent, which she would have joined for her resume’s sake. And I think she would have tutored!

Where do they escape to when they need space?: A little used library corner, where she can people watch without being seen/heard.

How do they feel about/cope with their mind blindness?: Sab hates it but tries not to dwell on it. She knows that it’s no one’s fault, and she mainly just tries to... minimize it? Drown out her thoughts, limit her contact with Ments. And, least healthily, very rigidly managing herself. Because there’s so much of her that exists outside of herself, without her control, she tries to either filter or completely suppress everything else. Part of why she got into modeling, she can perform and be perfect and have total control over the final product of her body in the photographs for whatever campaign. Some Day This Will Be Better. But definitely not where she is in current canon.

How has your Button changed since the Incident with Hope?: Developed many new anxieties and disorders and syndromes :) She also became way more self-conscious, as in literally conscious of and way more tightly monitoring herself, what she’s thinking, what she’s expressing, how she’s sitting, etc. Less emotive face, more rigid posture.

If they weren’t an Aeon student, what would they be doing?: Sab would have beaten herself up forever if she “proved everyone right” by avoiding Unity/Ments entirely, so she’d want to stay in the family business somehow. She probably would have ended up doing scientific research on mental agility. Maybe even working for Mirrortech or some other biotech company, which I imagine would have been an interesting conversation to have with the family.

RANDOM FACTS:

Zodiac sign: Like I said, I assigned her Libra months ago for the sake of a template. But I don’t know enough about astrology to commit. Libra or Leo, probably.

Hobbies: Music, reading poetry, “cooking” (i.e., sitting on the counter and not helping while Nick makes dinner)

Likes: Watching other people (Nick) play video games, dressing up, taking long showers/baths, dark chocolate with caramel, back hugs

Dislikes: Being patronized, hot weather, going to the doctor, driving, doing anything she is not good at

Type of bedsheets: Bamboo.

Drink of choice: Cucumber mint lemonade! For hot drinks, some kind of caramel coffee. For alcohol, she refuses to get drunk because she’s terrified of having even less control of her mental broadcast, but at home/around people she trusts she’ll have a glass or two of wine. Doesn’t know enough to be picky, but doesn’t like it too sweet.

Favorite food: Probably some pasta dish Nick makes with asparagus and tomatoes and a lot of garlic.

Favorite color: Like a light turquoise!

Favorite music: Music to her was another mind-shielding tactic before anything else, so she tends to like upbeat-ish electronic/pop stuff. Catchy and repetitive, and/or with lots of personality to drown out her own thoughts. On the other end of the spectrum, she does have a soft spot for crackly, lo-fi, old or old-sounding slow songs—something about fuzzy recordings simulating a weak telepathic signal.

Favorite season: Hmm, spring and autumn are both good. She likes either side of winter.

Anything else you’d like to share: My heart and a long, fulfilling marriage, with anyone who reads all this 💍