#this fucking episode. is already indecent .

[fatmaclover]

why the fuck was so much attention put onto the fact that dennis is really weird for having a system for securing men figured out. whyd they make him SO defensive. WHY DID HE MAKE HIS FRIEND AND ROOMMATE CUM. WHYD HE DO THAT. HE DIDNT HAVE TO DO THAT. IM STILL NOt OVER HOW YOU GUYS WERENT EXAGGERATING. DENNIS REYNOLDS WHY ARE YOU TAKING THE FIRST EXCUSE TO PUT ANAL BEADS UP YOUR FRIENDS ASS TO CONTROL HIM. IM GONNA GO INSANE. WHAT IS THIS SHOW

[chaos0pikachu]

one of my favorite scenes in LITA is from ep06 and not simply b/c Payu and Rain bone like they're single handedly trying to repopulate the moon kingdom okay it's the wild ass escalation that occurs that unlocks Rain's must mate now instincts like first of all Mame said they were gonna get every dollar, nickle, and dime outta that damn drone so Payu's gotta race a background extra from Pit Babe and Payu walks out and Rain is already eying his man up like Survivors on the island be eyeing up cookies after six days at sea and shit like Rain wanted to nomnomnom Payu while Prapai's in the back like "only two more episodes left and it'll be my turn" so obviously Payu wins b/c that ponytail game gives him extra alpha powers - I just KNOW Mame is salty she didn't get the budget for the first omegaverse show - or whatever and Rain LEAPS into Payu's arms like something outta a mid-century European film like Payu's just returned home from war and not an easily winnable race against a Walmat Branded Kinnporsche character

makeout ensues okay okay this is normal and then nah they fucking GO FOR IT literally suddenly we're at Payu's house which is made entirely of floor to ceiling windows indecency laws?? we 👏 don't 👏 know 👏 her 👏 and now they're just stripping down so quick Paul Verhoeven is taking notes for Showgirls 2 they have more bravery than a US Marine making out on an open floor plan steps rushing into the bedroom eating each other up, licking each others tongues, and then Rain's riding Payu as if he took the lyrics to WAP and Girls in the Hood as a challenge he's spelling his whole name out, legal name AND nickname as if he wasn't a virgin literally a month ago but Rain said he's nothing if not a fast learner baby!! meanwhile Payu is fucking WRECKED that man is seeing holy sights, he's seeing the big bang, he knows the secret of the universe via Rain's bussy and Rain is such a fucking brat about it like "you think you're wrecked now wait till I start calling you daddy in a month" and Payu's like "typically I would spank your ass for that but my ponytail is shook out right now"

and then the next day Rain gets kidnapped by a fucking Gotham City villain

[tocomplainfriend]

YOU DIDN'T WRITE ANYTHING SIMILAR TO BOJACK BRO! BH has so much structure and essence, it is insane. Specially after S1, the intelligence in those BH scripts is nowhere to be found in HB. In helluva, There are these tiny good things that get murdered every other episode. Things that sound better as concept-than how you developed it. There are so many great jokes that aren't based on saying "dick dick whore fuck", so many of their animal characters work for actually smart animal jokes. Or the tongue twisters! YOU BARELY LET CHARACTER BE BAD PEOPLE. Every social issue they suddenly have a sad pass and their dad was mean and that JUSTIFIES EVERYTHING? Bojack H literally goes against that so hard is impossible you think this way if you understood Todd's speech, or Bojack's interview or the last two fucking episodes of the series. All the main cast also feels almost empty of bad qualities that aren't uwu justified by the plot and writing. Certain things stop just being explanation of characters and how they came to be. It sounds more like you gave your characters a bunch of shitty we are in hell traits + things that you didn't even recognize as problematic. AND TRIED TO SAVE THEM IN THE WRITING as just flaws- or making something else happen to the character to be like "Oh they have it so difficult! They just didn't get taught how to love right" When they are being abusive toxic fucks instead.

I legit believe all of Herb story had something so strong to say about queer issues, then Helluva. Like he literally comes out to BJ, kisses him later on and immediately dismiss it. -And then he gets arrested by the police for having gay sex -as public indecency. Many conservatives complain about it cause Herb ran the Horsing around show, saying "it is a show for children people like him shouldn't flaunt around their alternative lifestyle and ruining America"

(Read the sings LMAO) All of this in the 80s to 90s

Also, this guy's comments

"So, here I am, being your mother, which I know is giving you all sorts of mixed-up ideas about gender, while your brain is still loose and stupid. Just remember, if you become a queer later in life, this isn't my fault! Don't you sing no songs in your nightclub act called, "My Daddy was My Mommy," while gazing longingly at a tangled string of pearls... Pearls are for ladies, Bojack. Pearls are for ladies."

AND THIS GUYYYYY HELLO? They have multiple episodes, including Todd's sexuality- but not all the episodes nor his personality revolve around that! He even made a dating app for Ace people with his girlfriend!

I already have 3 "Bojack Horseman > Helluva Boss" post in this account!

[thepictureofjune]

The Tortured Poets Departement of schloss einstein

— relating songs to characters and relationships because in my eyes, everyone is a little sad

Hallo. Wilkommen. This is me trying to relate everything I somewhat like to my current obsession even if it does not fit at all because this is a kids show and the album is probably anything but relatable to a 12 year old, trying to find a treasure. But I tried and I tried explaining my choices. This is my very insane and over-dramatic interpretation, please just deal with me. 

Disclaimer: hab versucht, mich möglichst auf Staffel 26 und 27 Charaktere zu begrenzen, hat aber (siehe literally erstes Beispiel) manchmal besser bei früheren Charakteren oder Beziehungen gepasst. Btw would love it if anyone could find people to relate the missing songs to. (my chronic rewatching kinda failed me in the end…)

Fortnight - Till und Martha (Staffel 23)

And for a fortnight there, we were forever Run into you sometimes, ask about the weather Now you're in my backyard, turned into good neighbors Your wife waters flowers, I wanna kill her All my mornings are Mondays stuck in an endless February I took the miracle move-on drug, the effects were temporary And I love you, it's ruining my life I love you, it's ruining my life I touched you for only a fortnight I touched you, but I touched you

For me this fits within the whole Martha Kasimir Till drama and obviously the somewhat enemies to lovers arc Martha and Till had going on. How probably liking Martha ruined Tills life more than it already was because when they kissed for the first time, she was still dating Kasimir and that, of course, ensured a lot of issues probably. 

The Tortured Poets Department - Nesrin und Annika (Staffel 27!)

But you're in self-sabotage mode Throwing spikes down on the road But I've seen this episode and still loved the show Who else decodes you? And who's gonna hold you like me? And who's gonna know you, if not me? I laughed in your face and said "You're not Dylan Thomas, I'm not Patti Smith This ain't the Chelsea Hotel, we'rе modern idiots" (...) Sometimes, I wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me But you told Lucy you'd kill yourself if I ever leave And I had said that to Jack about you, so I felt seen Everyone we know understands why it's meant to be 'Cause we're crazy So tell me, who else is gonna know me?

We get introduced to them as these two best friends who are never really seen without each other. Annika knows Nesrin and Nesrin knows Annika and no one is ever going to get in between them, right? Because then it changes and we get the whole fight of Nesrin not really seeming to know Annika all that well anymore, them constantly fighting because maybe after all, all they had was the pranks they did together and what is their friendship beyond that? What is their friendship now?

Down Bad - Noah und Colin aus Noahs Sicht (Staffel 27 post 1062)

For a moment, I knew cosmic love Now I'm down bad, cryin' at the gym Everything comes out teenage petulance "Fuck it if I can't have him" "I might just die, it would make no difference" Down bad, wakin' up in blood Starin' at the sky, come back and pick me up Fuck it if I can't have us I might just not get up, I might stay

Did you take all my old clothes Just to leave me here, naked and alone In a field in my same old town That somehow seems so hollow now? They'll say I'm nuts if I talk about The existence of you

I loved your hostile takeovers Encounters closer and closer All your indecent exposures How dare you say that it's— I'll build you a fort on some planet Where they can all understand it How dare you think it's romantic Leaving me safe and stranded 'Cause fuck it, I was in love So fuck you if I can't have us

So Noah kinda knows he likes Colin now, knows that he misses Colin but what if Colin doesn’t miss him? What if Colin already moved on? Nothing would make sense anymore. He lost his best friend and for what? Only to be alone in the end?

Because right now, for all Noah knows, Colin might still be mad at him. 

So Long, London - Noah und Colin aus Colins Sicht (Staffel 27 post 1056) 

I saw in my mind fairy lights through the mist I kept calm and carried the weight of the rift Pulled him in tighter each time he was driftin' away My spine split from carrying us up the hill Wet through my clothes, weary bones caught the chill I stopped tryna make him laugh, stopped tryna drill the safe Thinkin', "How much sad did you think I had Did you think I had in me?" Oh, the tragedy

So long, London You'll find someone For so long, London Stitches undone Two graves, one gun I'll find someone And you say I abandoned the ship But I was going down with it My white-knuckle dying grip Holding tight to your quiet resentment And my friends said it isn't right to be scared Every day of a love affair Every breath feels like rarest air When you're not sure if he wants to be there You swore that you loved me, but where were the clues? I died on the altar waitin' for the proof You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days And I'm just getting color back into my face I'm just mad as hell 'cause I loved this place

But Daddy I Love Him - Julia Sponer (Staffel 25 u 26) 

Too high a horse for a simple girl To rise above it They slammed the door on my whole world The one thing I wanted Now I'm runnin' with my dress unbuttoned Scrеamin', "But, Daddy, I love him I'm havin' his baby" No, I'm not, but you should see your faces I'm tellin' him to floor it through thе fences No, I'm not coming to my senses

This one is mainly for the dramatics of the song, of playing the part and of Julia wanting to take a path (acting) that is usually not really met with great immediate success. 

Fresh Out The Slammer - Lucky und Paulina (Staffel 11 u 12) 

Gray and blue and fights and tunnels Handcuffed to the spell I was under For just one hour of sunshine Years of labor, locks, and ceilings In the shade of how he was feeling But it's gonna be alright, I did my time Now, pretty baby, I'm runnin' back home to you Frеsh out the slammer, I know who my first call will be to Camera flashes, welcome bashes, get the matches Toss the ashes off the ledge As I said in my letters, now that I know better I will never lose my baby again

Give me one couple in the entirety of Schloss Einstein that screams Partners in Crime better than they do. (also give me one modern character that would be looked at like a criminal - they don’t do them like that anymore) 

Florida!!! - Joyce Simon (Staffel 24 u 25)

Little did you know your home's really only A town you're just a guest in So you work your life away just to pay For a time-share down in Destin (...) The hurricane with my name when it came I got drunk and I dared it to wash me away Barricaded in the bathroom with a bottle of wine Well, me and my ghosts, wе had a hell of a time Yes, I'm hauntеd, but I'm feeling just fine

One character who never quite seemed to feel at home, who had a friend and still fled the country, who has never had a home because family was always foreign. 

Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me? - Joshua Hockenbrink (Staffel 27) 

The who's who of "Who's that?" is poised for the attack But my bare hands paved their paths You don't get to tell me about "sad" (...) Crash the party like a record scratch as I scream "Who's afraid of little old me?" You should be The scandal was contained The bullet had just grazed At all costs, keep your good name You don't get to tell me you feel bad Is it a wonder I broke? Let's hear one morе joke Then we could all just laugh until I cry (...) So tell me everything is not about me But what if it is? Then say they didn't do it to hurt me But what if they did? I wanna snarl and show you just how disturbed this has made me You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me So all you kids can sneak into my house with all the cobwebs I'm always drunk on my own tears, isn't that what they all said? That I'll sue you if you step on my lawn That I'm fearsome and I'm wretched and I'm wrong

A birthday party organized simply to taunt him, the usually slightly mean behavior that drives everyone away and makes you think he is nothing more than rude, nothing more than a villain. But he’s also the boy that seems to want nothing more than to find a place that accepts him. 

loml - Leon und Io aus Leons Sicht (Staffel 27 post 1064) 

We embroidered the memories of the time I was away Stitching, "We were just kids, babe" I said, "I don't mind, it takes time" I thought I was better safe than starry-eyed I've felt a glow like this never before and never since (...) You holy ghost, you told me I'm the love of your life You said I'm the love of your life About a million times Who's gonna tell me the truth when you blew in with the winds of fate (...) I wish I could unrecall How we almost had it all Dancing phantoms on the terrace Are they second-hand embarrassed That I can't get out of bed

I Can Do It With a Broken Heart - Massuda Phanit (Staffel 26 u 27)

I can read your mind "She's having the time of her life There in her glittering prime The lights refract sequin stars off her silhouette every night" I can show you lies 'Cause I'm a real tough kid I can handle my shit They said, "Babe, you gotta fake it 'til you make it" and I did Lights, camera, bitch, smile Even when you wanna die Breaking down, I hit the floor All the piеces of me shatterеd as the crowd was chanting, "More" I was grinnin' like I'm winnin' I was hittin' my marks I'm so depressed, I act like it's my birthday every day

Massuda is glitter, she is smiles in the camera, she is organizing parties and loud music and dancing and…She is also the parents that don’t accept her if she doesn’t have good grades. She is also the one who has to hide her true self whenever her parents turn up. 

Clara Bow - Marlon to Simon (Staffel 27)

"You look like Clara Bow In this light, remarkable All your life, did you know You'd be picked like a rose?" I'm not trying to exaggerate But I think I might die if it happened Die if it happened to me No one in my small town Thought I'd see the lights of Manhattan Take the glory, give everything Promise to be dazzling

This might seem a wee bit crazy but hear me out! Marlon likes Nesrin but he also thinks Nesrin likes Simon. And he knows Simon is probably better at this whole liking someone and flirting with them thing that he will ever be because after all, he’s just the kid with the star bread.

— june🪐

(the anthology comes in a separate part bcs else this is too long to read - it already prob is)

[avionvadion]

Part Three of "I have no self control so here ya go"

Warning: El isn’t affected by the song magic in Hell/Heaven so she ends up singing whatever songs she knows from her time on earth. In this chapter, it's "Two Birds On A Wire".

I've decided this takes place just before the Pilot episode. So Angel has not been recruited yet, and the hotel is still the "Happy Hotel".

This one is a LONG one.

Eleanora took a seat at the table while Lucifer got to work, the letter set beside her just so he wouldn’t toss it away after having second thoughts. One leg crossed over the other, she propped an elbow up with a hand against her cheek, and watched as the devil king stood at his desk, hyper-focused as he fiddled with magic and various materials that he summoned out of thin air, his back facing her. 

She didn’t want to bother him, seeing as he finally had motivation and was willingly doing something without panicking or trying to run away. Making rubber ducks really was something he seemed to be good at… which makes sense, seeing just how many he had. 

The brunette leaned to the side, staring at the ducks that were leaning against her legs and feet, before shifting so she was looking at Lucifer again. She observed his blond hair, eying his slender form closely. 

It was a little embarrassing to think, but…

Charlie really took after her daddy, huh? Not just in personality, but looks too. Her height is probably from her mom, though. 

Hot damn. 

Eleanora may not have ever dated anyone, actively going out of her way to avoid relationships, but she does admire a beauty when she sees one. It just so happens that said beauty is the father of the person who saved her life, and  also just so happens to be the literal King of Hell. 

Is he much shorter than she was expecting Lucifer fucking Morningstar to be? Absolutely. Is that because of the ridiculous beauty standards from the country she was raised in? Most definitely. Did it bother her at all? Hell no. 

If anything, it made him… cuter? While simultaneously more intimidating. Rather than looming over her, he could get right up in her face to threaten her- which he has done once already, as well as made a few rather intimidating faces, but also… just… 

Flustered her. 

Was the King of Hell supposed to be so touchy-feely? She can still vividly remember the feeling of his hand on her waist as he pulled her in close and danced around the magical lake he had created with his song. Eleanora was very much not good with eye contact for extended periods of time, but he made it so hard to look away. 

Gods, being in Hell has been a super bad influence on her. 

She’s only been here for the better half of a week and, after all those years she spent avoiding relationships like the plague- which she literally did have to do due to the recent pandemic, she's now checking out the literal devil, Lucifer Morningstar, while he makes a rubber freaking duck that’ll spit out rainbows and glitter. Sure, they’re technically in each other’s age range, but he was immortal, older than the earth itself, and she was a measly human. He’s literally the father of the person she made a pact with. 

Someone splash me with holy water, please. 

Her face is burning, the woman having made herself flustered due to her own indecent thoughts. 

Is this a fucking genetic thing? Her eldest sister definitely had a thing for single fathers, considering her recent track record of partners, but Eleanora didn’t realize she also had a thing for them. Perhaps this was just proof of their relation? Jesus, I’m in trouble. 

Their first meeting was bad enough- Eleanora had a nearly ten year difference with her eldest sister, and because Lucifer looked like he was in his thirties and Charlie in her very early twenties- like, barely past twenty-one- the woman fully believed he was the princess’ brother. 

Not that… Eleanora knew Charlie was the Princess of Hell at that time. 

Eleanora was fully convinced that he was Charlie’s brother, and was very confused because she knows Charlie said it was her dad coming over, but he sounded and looked so much younger than she had been expecting. 

And he was gorgeous. 

Did he look like a snake, with his big yellow eyes and red-slit pupils? Oh yeah. Even his skin was as white as snow, and if she hadn’t felt it herself by accident during the songs when he got a bit too close she would have believed it if his skin was actually scales. His teeth were admittedly a little terrifying, what with how large and sharp they were, but it wasn’t in a bad way? They were scary, in a… good way. 

Pleasant way. In a way she definitely shouldn’t be thinking about, since he was Charlie’s dad. 

Who the hell said the devil should be a short king that absolutely loves his daughter, is both terrifying and gorgeous, is kind of ridiculous, and has one hell of a singing voice? 

…God themself, probably. 

Damn it. 

Eleanora has been getting used to people bursting out into song- and by that, she means Charlie- but being dragged into the musical numbers was certainly a first. Who’d have thought she’d actually dance with the devil? Her life has gotten so out-of-hand. At least she can breathe now; that’s really the only good thing that’s happened since coming down to Hell. 

Well, untrue. 

I’d be dead if Charlie and Vaggie didn’t find me when they did… 

Everything had happened so fast that Eleanora doesn’t really remember everything, but one minute she had been drawing on her cintiq and the next she was falling, falling, falling down into darkness. Things went black and when she woke up, this creature covered head-to-toe in fur with shredded clothes, piercings, and horns was standing over her, knife in hand like he was about to sacrifice her. 

Probably was, too, since she was laying on a pentagram drawn of blood surrounded by dozens of lit wax candles. 

She barely lifted her head in time to see Vaggie, a woman with long silver hair and ashen purple skin, stab the demon through the chest, delivering unto it the very fate it had been trying to do unto her. Charlie was shrieking, absolutely losing her mind at the sight of Eleanora. 

The Princess of Hell scooped Eleanora up into her arms, muttering dozens of apologies and asking even more questions about how a human like her got here, while Vaggie went through the dead demon’s phone- because demons have phones in Hell- and discovered the bastard had tried to reverse engineer a summoning circle only to summon her, and then tried to sacrifice her while she was still unconscious in a second attempt of getting to Earth after his first scheme failed. 

It was… weird, and made very little sense to her, but Eleanora didn’t have any choice but to go along with it and let herself be carried to the Happy Hotel the two were attempting to run. 

Charlie asked Eleanora some questions, asked even more, panicked when she started to have an asthma attack, on the verge of falling unconscious, and frantically made a pact with her to save her life. The actual terms of the pact came after. 

A couple days later… Charlie called her father. 

He showed up immediately, teleporting to the front door, and Eleanora then embarrassed herself thinking he was Charlie’s brother. She then learned Charlie was a fucking princess and her dad was the King of Hell. 

Of all the people- she was saved by the heir to Hell’s throne? Holy shit. 

But, perhaps even more embarrassing, was Charlie trying to get Eleanora to sing to Lucifer about her situation and how she ended up under his daughter’s care. He was the same height as her, but his gaze had been fierce and intimidating, cane in his hands as he stood tall beside his much taller daughter, and practically ordered her to sing since that was what Charlie wanted. 

“It was… pitch black, I was laying on my back? I opened my eyes, saw a knife, knew things weren’t right? And… there was a demon, I was screamin’. A-And then Charlie… ooh, I can’t do this. This isn’t working. Charlie-!” 

“No, no, you’re doing great!” The princess had exclaimed. “Keep it up! I’ll be your backup vocals!” 

“I don’t think-” 

“It’s okay.” Lucifer had told Eleanora then, holding a hand up, looking very unimpressed by the whole thing. “Take your time. My daughter wants you to sing… so sing.” 

She felt like an utter clown. 

Thankfully, Charlie took over the majority of the song so Eleanora actually ended up as the backup vocals. Vaggie, unfortunately, wasn’t at the hotel at the time since she was out grocery shopping, so Eleanora had to face the King of Hell alone. 

After that horrible first meeting, Charlie made the two exchange numbers in case of an emergency. 

Eleanora should be fine since she has the pact with Charlie and merely has to summon her if she’s ever in danger, but Charlie was worried because the brunette was a live human in Hell and didn’t want to take any risks. Charlie was absolutely terrified for Eleanora’s safety. It was sweet of her, if not baffling, as Eleanora was unused to such heavy concern from anyone that wasn’t one of her siblings, and as a result found herself going along with it. 

Who’d have thought that would lead to Lucifer calling her frequently to ask after his daughter and her wellbeing? 

And now… here they are. 

Man, the back view of him with his tailcoat should not be as nice as it was. It was pure white, accented with only the slightest bit of red, two dots resembling an apple core embroidered in the curve of his lower back, and it fit him. Very, very well. Lucifer was giggling and muttering to himself, saying something about how these rubber ducks had to be perfect. He was incredibly excited now that he knew for sure his daughter would like the gifts. It was ridiculously attractive. 

Suddenly, a small yawn escaped Eleanora’s lips.

She blinked slowly, realizing just now how sleepy she was. It had been late at night when Lucifer called her, the woman having just been about to get ready for bed, but then he abducted her. 

“You’re calling… to ask about Charlie?” Eleanora remembered asking, baffled that he was doing this so late in the night. She had grown used to the frequent calls asking about his daughter, but this was definitely a first. “Why not just call her?” 

“Call her!? She’s- well… She’s busy! Probably. She might not pick up!” Yeah, because she’s asleep. “Just answer the question! Has anyone been bothering her? Give me names! W-Wait, no, has she been eating properly? She’s not wearing herself out with this hotel business, is she!?” 

Panicked. Concerned. 

Lucifer had sounded absolutely frantic. 

“Ah.” That explained the late night call. It was hard to imagine, but his anxiety must have gotten the better of him- and though she was tired, Eleanora tried her best to answer and calm him down. “Y-Yeah, she’s fine. And she’s not so busy that she’d ignore a call from you. I got so scared when your name popped up on my phone.”

Seriously- 

“Why not invite her over for some tea so you can catch up?” 

A pause, and then- “Invite… her over?” 

Eleanora had nodded, even though she knew he couldn’t see it, a sleepy smile on her lips. “Yeah, she’d love that! She once told me that she always wished she could get to know you better! If you aren’t comfortable calling her, why not write a letter? If you want, I could deliver it for you?” 

There was a long moment of silence.

“Y-Your… Majesty?” A surge of panic rushed through her. “F-Frick, was that out of line!? I’m sorry! Forget I said anything! I-“ 

Looking down at her phone screen, she blinked, realizing the call had ended. Lucifer had hung up on her. 

“Fuck.” 

Eleanora had begun to panic, fearing the worst and that he might kill her for her impertinence, when the devil himself appeared behind her several minutes later, grabbing her arm and flashing her a wicked grin. He told her she would only die if she “messed this up” and proceeded to envelope them in red mist, teleporting them to his castle. 

Thus, Lucifer kidnapped Eleanora… and demanded her assistance in writing a letter because all the ones he wrote in that short span of time had been horrible. 

“I don’t know what to write.” He stated bluntly. 

“…Ha?” The two of them ended up sitting on the floor, surrounded by crumpled papers and rubber ducks, and he had yet to let go of her arm. 

“What should I write in the letter?” 

Man, looking back on it, even though it’s only been a couple hours, it feels like an eternity since that conversation happened. What time is it now? It’s gotta be way past morning, 

A pact with the princess, a deal with the king… 

Her head fell from her hand to rest on her arm against the table, eyes sleepily watching the ever-focused back of the hardworking Lucifer before slowly closing, drifting off into sleep. 

Doubt I’m ever gettin’ into Heaven now. 

Her parents would literally cry. Well, not that she really cares. She was already a disappointment, anyways. 

…

The next time Eleanora opened her eyes, she wasn’t at the table anymore- instead finding herself staring at an unfamiliar ceiling, a bright crimson blanket tossed over her resting form.

Blinking her eyes open and groggily looking down, she saw she was now sitting in a much larger chair, a pink-and-white striped pillow strategically placed between her head and the armrest. At first, she was very confused because she could have sworn she was at a table, but then crossed that out as a weird dream, before realizing she wasn’t exactly at the hotel either. 

Maybe that was also a dream, but… she didn’t recognize this chair and she especially did not recognize this blanket. 

“Huh?” Ah, whatever. She’s too tired for this. 

Her legs dangling off the other end, she yawned and closed her eyes again, about to doze off once more into sleep. Until it hit her… that the only way she could have moved was if someone had carried her. 

Eleanora also remembered that she wasn’t at the hotel right now, and since this wasn’t her house that meant the hotel wasn’t a dream, which meant this wasn’t a dream, which meant the only person who could have moved her was Lucifer. The King of Hell. 

She was still in his castle. 

The brunette immediately shot up into a sitting position, the pillow falling to the ground. “What!? Huh? How did-” 

The door to the room opened, and Lucifer came walking in, a tray holding a circus elephant-designed tea set in his hands. He jumped, eyes wide upon seeing Eleanora awake, and he let out an awkward laugh before rushing over to set the tray down on the table she had fallen asleep at. “O-Oh! You’re awake! Hi! Good morning! Kind of. It’s actually afternoon now. So sorry! I know I’m the one who brought you here and all, hehe, but, uh, yeah!” 

Lucifer stood up straight, clapping his hands together, looking very uncomfortable and like he’s forgotten how to talk to her during the time she’s been asleep. 

“Sooo….” The short king held up a finger, offering her a weak smile. “You hungry? I mean, it’s the least I can do, seeing as you stayed up all night to help me with the letter and even came up with the idea for the glitter-and-rainbow rubber ducks, and… all of that.” 

“Uh…” Eleanora stared at him blankly, then glanced at the tea tray he brought. She looked down at the pillow that had fallen and the blanket she was still using, before looking up at him again. She offered an equally awkward smile. “A little? Um, i-if… you really don’t mind. P-Please and thank you…” 

She really doesn’t want to intrude or overstep whatever boundaries and rules there are for this kind of thing. He was royalty after all, among other things. But she was really hungry. 

Lucifer practically jumped out of his boots in his excitement. “Yes! Of course! I mean, we’re basically friends now, right? Ahaha! A friend should offer a friend food! H-Here!” 

He rushed over to stand behind the chair she was on, grabbing the sides, and Eleanora let out a startled shout when he pushed it and her towards the table, knocking over several mountains of rubber ducks in the process. By the time the chair had stopped moving, Lucifer was already pouring her a cup of tea, setting it down in front of her and then snapping his fingers, several plates of breakfast food appearing in front of her- most of which were pancakes. 

Eleanora was frozen in place, eyes wide as could be. 

When she looked up at him, she saw Lucifer was rocking on his heels by the other side of the table, sharp teeth bared in a smile, one eye somewhat squinted. He nervously tapped his fingertips together. “D-Does it look alright?” 

“Y-Yeah!” She choked out, wondering if maybe this was the dream. “Uh, thank you! Really. I- uh, appreciate it.” 

“Good, good! Glad to hear it!” Lucifer laced his hands together, beaming, and stood there for a long minute, body completely stiff, before he reached out and tugged out a chair, several rubber ducks falling to the floor. He took a seat. Lucifer waved a hand at her. “G-Go ahead and eat! Don’t mind me.” 

Perhaps it was because her eyes reminded him so much of a doe, but she truly looked like a deer-in-the-headlights. “O-Okay…” 

Eleanora tentatively picked up a fork, poured some syrup onto what she prayed were normal eggs, pancakes, and bacon, cut herself a slice, and took a bite. She relaxed almost immediately, humming happily with the fork still in her mouth. 

Lucifer’s shoulders became noticeably less tense, his smile more relieved now. “Good, right?” 

“Mmhm!” Covering her hand with her mouth once she removed the fork, she chewed for a moment and swallowed, flashing him a grateful smile. “Thank you for the food!” 

He beamed. “Of course! Can’t have Charlie’s favorite human starve now can I? Haha, ha!” 

Well, that was a fake laugh if she ever heard one. 

“I’m actually rather fond of pancakes myself! The softer and fluffier, the better!” 

Lucifer shifted in his seat, starting to fiddle with his fingers before grabbing at a random non-deadly rubber duck and messing with it. 

“But th-that’s not- that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about. We, uh, you and me-“ He coughed into a fist. “We made a deal! And… I-I think things with Charlie might actually go well?” 

Taking another bite of food and cutting one of the pancakes, Eleanora looked up at him with raised brows and curious eyes. 

“Charlie seemed- over the phone- she seemed really excited, a-and she said she liked all the things you thought she would, which means she might really like the letter and the gifts, and- well, y’know, I feel like I can- like I might actually be able to be a dad to her again!” 

Eleanora said nothing, merely letting him get his thoughts out. 

He ended up rambling the entire breakfast, and stopped only long enough to pour her another cup of tea with the elephant teapot when he saw she was about to do it herself. “You’re the guest! Don’t bother! Uh, where was I?” 

“...Charlie?” 

“Oh, yes!” Lucifer brightened immediately. He was squeezing the rubber duck like it was a stress ball. “So, I just- really, kind of- wanted to thank you? For… being so understanding and nice and not… getting upset… with me?” 

Finished with her plate, the brunette took a small sip of her tea before making a face. “The only thing I think I should be upset with is the kidnapping bit.” 

“Which is totally valid!” He exclaimed, standing up, the rubber duck being sent flying over his shoulder as he tossed it behind him. “I get it, really, I do! You were just minding your business and then the big boss of Hell came waltzin’ on in and stealing you away!” Lucifer waggled his eyebrows and let out another awkward laugh, holding his hands in the air. “Makes perfect sense. But I-” 

Seeing her quietly raising a hand, staring at him, waiting for a chance to speak, he cut himself off and blinked. 

“Yes?” 

“I… I said I think I should be upset with it- not that I am. Or was.” She made a face. Lucifer furrowed his brows. “You haven’t hurt me and you didn’t kidnap me with nefarious intent, so…” Eleanora gave a small shrug, lifting the cup up to her lips to take another sip of the tea. “It’s fine.” 

“...I see. G-Great! Wonderful.” 

He sat back down. 

Sitting completely still, Lucifer puffed out his cheeks, his eyes big as he stared into nothing, his thoughts running a hundred miles an hour. “Glad to… hear it.”

Outside, Eleanora was appearing calm. 

Inside, she was losing her absolute fucking mind. 

The King of Hell kidnapped her, then dragged her into a couple musical numbers. After giving him some advice and making sure he couldn’t back out of giving his daughter the letter he wrote, Eleanora fell asleep at the table. When she woke up, she realized he had carried her over to a much more comfortable chair so she could sleep, and then he pushed said chair with her still on it towards the table, and summoned pancakes for her to eat. 

Now he was apologizing… and thanking her? He was calling her a friend? 

No person has ever given her whiplash as much as this man has, because holy shit what is happening? Why is he being so nice to her all of a sudden? Is it really because they made the deal and because he truly believes the letter will go over well? He’s supposed to be the devil.

Honestly, she was a little worried… but overall Eleanora was convinced everything would go over well. 

Lucifer truly seemed to love his daughter- and Charlie said to her once before, on the day she introduced Lucifer and Eleanora to one another, a short while after the man left the hotel, that she always wanted to get to know her father better. So long as they communicate, it should be okay. 

They… do know how to communicate, right? 

Eleanora stared down at her empty teacup, purple-and-white stripes staring back at her. 

I think… I might be in trouble. 

She glanced up at Lucifer- only to freeze when she saw him just staring at her, smiling. 

“So!” He began, somehow looking both excited and terrified at the same time. “How… e-exactly are we gonna go about giving Charlie the letter? And… the rubber ducks?” 

Eleanora set the teacup down, doing her damndest to keep her breathing steady and to not panic. Something she likes to think she’s gotten good at after ending up in freaking Hell- where she could literally die if she took a wrong step upon leaving the hotel- even though she totally did panic earlier when Charlie called. “Well…”

Stay calm. Just breathe. 

Even if the King of Hell called her a friend, there’s no way he actually meant it. He might very well keep his promise to kill her if this goes wrong or if his relationship with his daughter worsens due to her interference. 

“I was thinking…” How can she say this without crossing the line? She fiddled with the teacup before slowly speaking with her hands, heart beating so fast she was scared it would burst out of her chest. Eleanora prayed- oh, the irony- that the devil king couldn’t hear it. “How about… after you take me back to the hotel…”

Lucifer leaned forward, nodding with each word, eager to hear her plan. “Uh-huh, uh-huh!” 

“I call Charlie, ask her to wait in the lounge, and…” 

“Give them to her!?”

She was thinking more along the lines that he gives the letter and gifts to Charlie with her acting as backup, but… okay. 

Maybe she can bring that up at the hotel. 

It’ll be fine. 

“Y-Yeah!” 

Lucifer jumped up, knocking his chair over as he threw his hands up into the air, laughing excitedly. “Great! Shall we go right now!? The sooner we get it to her the better!” 

“Huh? O-Oh! Uh, yeah! Sure!” 

Okay, no, Eleanora is starting to panic. This could go really bad. Maybe. She doesn’t actually know. 

This is the first time she’s getting involved in another family’s drama other than her own. She’s given advice plenty of times and that’s always seemed to work- it was the sole reason why the “friends” she had kept her around for so long before completely ditching and abandoning her after graduation- but she’s never been actively involved in the drama. 

Not to mention that her whole survival is sort of depending on this working out well…

“Alrighty! Let’s get going then!” Lucifer ran around the table to reach her, and Eleanora yelped when he snatched her hand and yanked her up onto her feet. The short king was practically vibrating in his excitement. “Whoa, can’t forget the gifts!” 

He snapped his fingers.

Eleanora didn’t know where the gift box and letter had been moved after she fell asleep, but wherever they used to be didn’t really matter since they suddenly appeared in front of her. With a small screech, she shot her arms to catch them, yanking her hand away from Lucifer’s. 

Cradling the items close, she gave the devil king an incredulous look. “W-Warning!? Please?” 

He just flashed her a beaming sharp-toothed smile, gently grabbing her shoulder, and as a look of confusion crossed her face they began teleporting. Eleanora’s vision was completely obscured by red mist, and as soon as it cleared and she could see again she saw that they were standing in her old dingy hotel room. 

Whoa. “That’s… some really smooth magic.” 

Lucifer grinned, chest puffing out a little proudly. “Well, I am the king. Or did you forget that I’m the Lucifer Morningstar?”

She pretended to think about it. “I meeeean…”

“Wha- oh, really!?” He looked deeply offended. “You actually forgot!?” 

“No!” Eleanora couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped her, and Lucifer blinked. “I just wasn’t expecting it! I was so scared the first time I didn’t really focus on the actual teleporting. I always figured it would be kinda like… I dunno…”

He watched her struggle to explain, curiosity in his gaze. 

Eleanora twisted a hand awkwardly in the air. “Being pulled apart on like… a molecular level? Disassembled and reassembled? Or maybe painless and whole, but really dizzying?” 

“That sounds awful.” Lucifer deadpanned. “And highly uncomfortable.” 

The face he made was so disturbed, Eleanora barked out a laugh, finding it hilarious. Lucifer startled at the reaction, eyebrows raised high on his forehead. “Y-Yeah, it really does! But that’s how everyone writes it as being! Which… makes sense? In a way? I guess it’s just us humans trying to “logic” it even though it’s just plain “magic” and “magic” is… magical! Ahaha!” 

“Hehe…” He let out a small chuckle, not looking nearly as disturbed as before. Lucifer’s features actually started to soften, and he began to lean forward- only to stop upon realizing he didn’t have his cane to support his weight. He settled for awkwardly resting his hands on his hips instead, tilting his head and grinning at her. “I suppose that’s true. You humans don’t exactly know how to accept a miracle as it is.” 

She nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly. “T’is true, t’is true. I’m still trying to rationalize how Charlie managed to rescue me in time before that demon sacrificed me, buuuut there’s probably not much point in wondering about it.” 

Lucifer is actually questioning that himself, but he’s more curious why it was Eleanora that was summoned and not another filthy rotten Sinner. This definitely isn’t the time to be thinking about it, though. 

“…So…” 

Eleanora blinked, turning to face him. Lucifer flashed her a nervous smile. He moved so he was standing face-to-face with her, lifting his hands up to nervously press his index fingers together. 

“This is the part where you call Charlie, right?” 

Panic round three, here we go. “R-Right! Of course. Th-That’s the whole point of this, right? Haha… uh…” 

Nerves utterly wrecked, Eleanora carefully moved to set the gift box and letter down on a nearby dresser and pulled out her phone, tapping open her most recent contacts and hitting Charlie’s name. Lucifer hunched over, hands curled close to his face, biting his lower lip in anticipation as he listened to the phone ring. 

When Charlie picked up, he inhaled sharply through his dagger-like teeth, holding his breath. “El?”

“Heeeey! Um, are you at the hotel right now?”

“Yes! Is the surprise ready?”

Eleanora glanced at Lucifer, her smile a bit strained. “Just about~? Uh… c-can you go wait in the lounge for me? I’ll be there in… like, five minutes. And… close your eyes? Pretty please?” 

“O-Oh, of course! Absolutely! Eeeek, I’m so excited! Okay, okay! I’ll see you in five! Ooooh, I can’t wait!” 

Charlie hung up. 

Eleanora felt like she was standing on a tightrope, one that was wobbling and leaving her to dangle precariously as she struggled not to fall off the edge. Her stomach churned when she saw Lucifer looking up at her in confusion. 

“Eyes closed?” He echoed, brows furrowing. “Why would she need her eyes closed?”

Oh, gods, this was going to be hard. 

Careful not to drop her phone, Eleanora flashed the devil king as encouraging a smile she could muster, gesturing to the gifts and then to him. “I was thinking, maybe, just a suggestion, really, that the surprise would be even better… if you’re there as I give them to her?” 

Lucifer’s face immediately went blank. 

“O-Or!” She stammered, stepping back and holding a finger up. “Even better! You could give them to her, a-and I’m there for emotional support! Charlie would love that, y’know!? Sh-She’ll be so happy to see you, and combine your presence with the letter and the ducks- I mean…!” 

Eleanora let out an awkward laugh. 

“She’ll be bouncing off the walls!” 

“…You-“ Lucifer’s face seemed to recover some form of emotion, his brain finally catching up and processing everything she was saying. He pointed at himself, face a mixture of concern and confusion. “You want… me… to deliver the letter?” 

“I’ll go with you!” The brunette hurriedly exclaimed. “It’ll be good for you guys! R-Really, really good!” 

He looked hesitant, turning partially away from her as he brought his fingers up to his lips, starting to gnaw at his gloves again. “I-I dunno…” 

“It’ll be great!” Eleanora insisted, becoming a little pleading, as neither confrontation nor persuasion were her strong suits- but she really needed to convince him to do this. For both her sake, and theirs. “You… trusted me this far, so why not a little further? She’s waiting downstairs. I-I mean, sure, I haven’t known Charlie very long, but… she’s super honest! I know she’ll be happy to see you.” 

At her words, Lucifer fell silent and lowered his head, glancing over at the gift box and letter she had set down. His teeth were really starting to dig into his fingers, golden droplets of ichor starting to glimmer through the torn fabric. 

Eleanora could feel a slight frustration build up in the midst of her anxiety, but she tried to calm herself and think. She’s been able to get him to come this far, but now he’s trying to run away again. 

To give up. 

He was scared of the responsibility he’d have to take if he followed through with it. That’s why he always quit while he was ahead and settled for waiting. Yet waiting doesn’t do anything, except broaden the gap until the years fly by and an abyss has formed. If left on his own to deal with this, by the time he’ll figure out what’s happened… it’ll be too late. 

Eleanora could feel some of the strength leave her, gazing at the depressed wreck that was the King of Hell, only to squeeze her eyes shut and rip her gaze away to stare at the old wooden door, wracking her brain to try and figure out what she could say to get him to work with her. 

Does he need another song? What is even with Hell and its need for musical numbers? 

Eleanora loves a good musical and listened to music constantly every single day before coming down here, but she’s never had to sing to comfort someone or cheer them up or to make a deal or… anything of the sort. She only ever sang for the fun of it, but even that was limited due to her severe asthma. After she graduated and was ditched by her friends, and her health fell so downhill right before the pandemic, she even stopped socializing with people that weren’t her siblings. 

She doesn’t know how to comfort people. She’s amazed she’s even gotten this far. 

Encouraging Lucifer, convincing him to finish the letter and to make the rubber ducks… all of it had been so difficult for her. She was lucky she could even think of the right songs to sing. But what is she supposed to sing now? 

What would even resonate with him? 

The sun goes down, the stars come out, and all that counts is here and now; the universe will never be the same, I’m- 

No, that won’t work, even if she did change up the lyrics to make it sound like she was talking about Charlie. The middle part didn’t fit at all. 

History Maker? 

Eleanora dismissed that one, too- although she should probably keep it in mind in case he needs encouragement for something that doesn’t involve his daughter. If he has a big idea he wants to make but thinks it’ll go bad even though it’ll be fine, she can sing that then. Yeah. 

But what about right now!? 

In a moment of desperation, she unlocked her phone and flicked through one of her many playlists, nibbling at her bottom lip. Her heart was racing again, the woman feeling as though everything- her survival, Lucifer and Charlie’s father-and-daughter bond- was hinging on her finding the right song to sing. 

After a painfully suffocating moment of her stomach dropping into the pit of her stomach, Eleanora feeling the seconds tick on by like the end of the world was about to occur, she finally stopped scrolling, finding something that may just work. 

Googling the lyrics to refresh her memory, she pocketed the device and took a deep breath, mentally screeching at her heart to calm down. 

She can do this. 

How is she going to do this? No idea. But Lucifer is still biting his fingers and- 

Dude, stop, you’re hurting yourself! 

Eleanora had moved before she realized it, boldly snatching his wrist and tugging his hand away from his mouth. His red gaze shot up to meet hers, eyes wide as could be, and she swallowed down the lump that had caught in her throat. 

Lips parting, not knowing what to say, the lyrics came out.  “Two… birds… on a wire~!” 

Fuck, she’s gotta commit to the bit now. 

“One~ tries to fly… away, and the other… watches her close… from that wire.” 

It didn’t take Lucifer long to figure out where she was going with this. 

“He says he wants to, as well,” Lucifer curled his lips back at Eleanora’s words, seeing her narrow her eyes at him as she slid her hand down to grab his, squeezing his bleeding fingers, “but he is a liar.” 

“I’m not-“ 

“Aren’t you?” She questioned. Lucifer faltered. “Do you or do you not want to see your daughter?” 

So much pain crossed his face then, Eleanora felt like an absolute villain for this. Thankfully, the next few lyrics were exactly what she wanted to say. Loosening her grip, she let a small smile fall across her lips, and she stepped back towards the door, bravely grabbing and lifting his two hands up in an attempt to get her point across. 

“I’ll believe~ it all~!” Oh, ew, her voice cracked. “There’s nothing I won’t understand.” 

Lucifer lifted his head, yellow eyes growing wide as his red irises dilated. 

“I’ll believe~ it all~!” Giving his fingers a gentle squeeze, she tugged him towards her. Rather than pulling away or keeping his heels rooted in place, he found himself walking towards her, and she laced their fingers together as she rested their hands against her chest and over her heart. Eleanora gave him the gentlest smile she could muster, internally cursing herself as she could feel her eyes water. “I won’t~ let go~ of your hand.” 

She doesn’t know how to fight or survive in Hell without help, without relying on the princess or her kingly father, but she genuinely did want to help them. 

Charlie has been so kind to her, saving her without even knowing her name or how she got there until Vaggie figured it out. She made a pact with her just to keep her healthy. Eleanora owes Charlie so much. 

And Lucifer… 

Well, he could definitely be scary, but he’s clearly been through a lot and had a lot of anxiety on top of his fairly obvious depression. He’s probably been on his own for so long, and had been hurt so badly by his divorce, that he didn’t know how to show his emotions properly, or how to even act on them. He was so terrified of being rejected by his daughter that he’d rather reject himself so she wouldn’t have to. 

He wasn’t very friendly when they first met, but he hasn’t been mean to her. When she fell asleep watching him work, he carried her to a more comfortable chair and not only gave her a blanket, but also set a pillow under her head so the armrest wouldn’t mess up her neck. 

Lucifer was… kind, which is something she never expected from the King of Hell. But maybe that’s just because she never gave it or the old biblical stories much thought in the past. He was the devil, a fallen archangel, and yet- at the same time- he was so… human.

Fitting, considering it was he who gave humanity free-will in the first place. 

“Two birds… on a wire~!” The brunette sang softly. “One~ says “come on” and the other says “I’m tired”. The sky is overcast… and I’m sorry…” 

His eyes began to water, but when he tried to look away Eleanora moved to meet his gaze, careful not to let her smile fall. 

“One more or one less… nobody’s worried. I’ll believe~ it all~! There’s nothing I won’t understand.” The corners of her eyes crinkled sweetly, and the blond king bit his bottom lip, staring into her sincere eyes, his emotions threatening to spill out in the form of tears. “I’ll believe… it all~ I won’t let go of your hand.” 

She tugged him towards the dresser she set the gifts on and unlaced her fingers from his left hand, but didn’t let go as she lifted and rested that very same hand on the letter. Eleanora could feel his hand tense beneath hers, the man so deeply terrified of something that should be so simple. 

“Two… birds…  of a feather, say that they’re always~ gonna stay together.” Brown eyes glanced to the side to stare at the so-called devil king, and Lucifer lifted his head, desperation painting across his handsome reptilian features as he looked at her. “But one’s… never going~ to let go… of that wire. He says that he will, but…” 

Eleanora paused, and Lucifer’s hand twitched against the letter. 

She let her smile fall. “Is he just a liar?” 

“…No.” Lucifer’s expression hardened. When he turned to face Eleanora this time, his crimson eyes were burning with determination. “He’s not.” 

Picking up the box and letter, he took in a deep breath and then gripped Eleanora’s hand tight in his, surprising her when he began to march towards the door. His gloves sparked with magic, fixing the tears his teeth had made, hiding any and all blood that had been spilled. 

“Let’s go find my daughter!” 

Eleanora yelped as she had no choice but to take after him. “I-I wasn’t done with the song!” 

“Doesn’t matter, you did good! We’re doing this! No take-backs!” 

Well, that works out, she supposed. It’s a little… weird he’s still holding her hand, but... she doesn’t really want to bring it up. It was just a part of the song, but he seems to be taking it pretty seriously. If holding his hand is all it takes for him to actually talk to Charlie, then that’s fine with her. 

She’d actually kind of like to be friends with Lucifer- even if said friendship is just another lie in the end and she’s bound to be forgotten and left behind. 

Two birds… on a wire~! 

It’ll be nice in the moment, and that’s what she wants to focus on. 

One~ tries to fly away and the other~ watches him close from that wire! She says she wants to as well, but she~ is a liar… 

There were a lot of twists and turns, and after a little too long of running Eleanora had to dig in her heels and ask the devil king to slow down, wheezing and struggling to catch her breath. He was visibly startled by her exhausted state, having not realized how fast he was making her run, and flashed her an apologetic smile as he waited for her to recover. 

Two… birds… on a wire~! 

Lucifer made himself walk after that, the nervousness starting to show now that the hotel lounge was in sight. All that was left was for them to head down the staircase. He looked at the woman beside him nervously, the anxiety making itself known now that they were actually here. 

One tries to fly… away… and the other…

Eleanora gave him an encouraging smile, and giving his hand a small squeeze she gestured with her chin towards Charlie, who was sitting patiently in a chair, a large beaming smile on her round, very pretty face. Vaggie was standing beside her. 

Lowering her voice to a whisper, Eleanora said, “Trust me.”

Then, without further adieu, began to guide the King of Hell down the staircase. 

Hearing the footsteps, Vaggie looked up- only to gasp when she saw Lucifer beside the human woman. “What!? Why is-“ 

Eleanora was quick to hold a finger up over her lips, silently asking her to be quiet. Vaggie’s jaw dropped, and her expression only twisted more, brows furrowed in heavy confusion, when she saw the way Lucifer’s hand was entwined with hers. Charlie swayed in her seat, leaning towards her girlfriend excitedly. “What is it, Vaggie?” 

“Uh, n-nothing!” She stammered. “The surprise is just… very… surprising?” 

“Oooooh~! Does that mean I can open my eyes now!?” 

“Not yet!” Eleanora rushed over upon hearing the question, panicking, and once they were both standing in front of the two women she tapped Lucifer’s hand. 

The short king blinked, looking down with a befuddled face, only to jump, having not realized he was still holding onto her. He released the human, moving to hold onto the gift box and letter with both hands, and Eleanora grabbed Lucifer’s shoulders so he was in front and standing directly in front of his daughter. She gave Vaggie a thumbs up, and then directed it towards Lucifer, flashing him one last encouraging grin. 

He was completely frozen, a smile plastered on his face in his fright. 

“It’s okay.” Eleanora mouthed, “You got this. I’m here.” 

Swallowing thickly, Lucifer nodded, and they turned to look at the blonde who was doing her absolute damndest to stay still and not open her eyes. 

“Okay, Charlie…” Eleanora began, feeling her voice rise alongside the stress and excitement. “Open them!” 

Charlie’s eyes snapped open so fast, it took a second for her to process what she was seeing. She stood up, alarmed. “Dad!?” 

“Surpriiiise~!?” He made himself sing, while Eleanora threw her arms out from behind him, popping out to the side. 

“Tad~ah~!” 

“What… you…” She clearly did not know what to think, fumbling for words and pointing at the two adults. “Huh!?” 

Vaggie smacked a hand to her face. “I said it was surprising…” 

“Wait, hold on!” Charlie brought her hands to her face, looking at Lucifer and then Eleanora. “You… were with my dad? This whole time!?” 

“Maybe? Anyways, not important!” The brunette jumped sideways and gestured to Lucifer, trying to focus everyone’s attention on him and what he was holding. “What is important is what he has to say!” 

Charlie has never felt more lost, but turned her gaze back to her father anyway. He cringed a little as he smiled, lips spreading wide and his sharp teeth baring themselves to the world. “H-Hey, Charlie~! Sweetheart. We, uh, didn’t… r-really get to talk before, but, uh, hey! Hehe.” 

An awkward pause. 

Eleanora stepped closer as subtly as she could and tapped his boot with her shoe. He stiffened, and in an almost robotic fashion held the gifts out to his daughter. “H-Here! I… um… I-I was wondering, if… if… you aren’t… aren’t, um, y’know…” 

As he struggled to get the words out, Charlie shared a look with Vaggie before reaching out to take the gift box from him, the young blonde woman holding the envelope up and observing it with both curiosity and confusion. There were several cutesy looking doodles on the paper that Eleanora definitely did not remember being there before. She could make out rainbows, hearts, Charlie’s name, and a duck. 

“Busy? Uh… haha…” Lucifer was sweating.

Eleanora could feel the second-hand anxiety. 

Deciding it was now or never, she rested a hand on Lucifer’s shoulder, causing him to inhale sharply and go silent, the man freezing in place. Eleanora flashed Charlie the sweetest smile. “Your dad was wondering if you were free sometime soon! He wanted to invite you over for tea. Maybe hear more about what you’re trying to do with the hotel?” 

“Wait…” Her eyes widened, and she looked at her father in shock, unable to believe what she was hearing. Slowly, her features began to soften, her eyes welling up with tears. Charlie held the gift box close, pressing the unopened letter to her chest. “Really? You… actually want to spend time with me, Dad?” 

Lucifer snapped out of his daze, hearing his daughter call out to him. “Y-Yes! Of course! Charlie, I-“ 

Lips curling back, he stepped forward, and Eleanora moved to stand beside Vaggie, quietly watching the scene take place. 

“I always want to spend time with you. I just…” Lucifer hesitated, and after a moment looked away, ashamed of himself. “I didn’t… want to bother you.” 

“Dad…” Charlie was fully crying now. 

She practically threw herself on him, gift box in one hand and the letter in the other, as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and hugged him tight. Lucifer wasn’t much better, tears stinging his eyes as he curled his arms around his daughter’s back. 

“I’d love to come over and talk! Do you have any idea how long I’ve been waiting for you to ask!?” 

His lips curled back and he tightened his grip on her, squeezing his eyes tightly shut. “Charlie-!” 

“I’ve missed you~!”

“I’ve missed you~!”

“I always wanted to know you~ and now I have this chance!” She pulled back, arms resting on his shoulders, as they gazed tearily into each other’s eyes, smiles on their near identical happy  faces. “I won’t let it pass me by, so don’t you even try! Dad, I can’t wait to come over! I’ll have to start planning in advance~ what to tell you, of course, because there’s just so much to go over!” 

Charlie let out a squeal, and Lucifer laughed in both anxious relief and overwhelming delight. She pulled him into another hug. 

“I can’t wait!” 

They stood there hugging for quite some time, to the point where Vaggie raised a brow and turned to Eleanora, who blinked and stared up at her. “What?” 

Glancing at the father and daughter duo who were hugging and smiling through their tears, Vaggie grabbed the older human’s arm and dragged her over to the stairs so they could talk without disturbing them. Once there, she looked down at her with narrowed eyes. “How long have you two been planning this?” 

“Huh? Oh…” The brunette made a face, looking up at the dusty ceiling and thinking about it. “Since, like… three or four am? He called me before I went to bed and… yeah. I suggested he write Charlie a letter, but he was having trouble so he kinda… kidnapped me?” 

Vaggie no doubt was remembering them very specifically asking if she had been kidnapped, and looked at Eleanora in disbelief. “So… what? You were just at the King of Hell’s house… all night?” 

Eleanora shrugged, trying not to think about what Vaggie could potentially be implying. “He needed help- and I like Charlie. She’s a sweetie.” 

At that, Vaggie paused… then smiled and let out a soft chuckle, turning to gaze affectionately at her girlfriend who was now chatting happily with her father, opening the gift box and absolutely bouncing in excitement when she squeezed the rubber ducks just to see that they spat out rainbows and glitter confetti. They had adorable little ribbons tied around their necks. “Yeah… she is.” 

The silver-haired woman looked back at the awkwardly smiling brunette, who was definitely wondering if she was in trouble and about to be kicked out of the hotel. 

Thankfully, that was not what Vaggie was thinking. It was the furthest thing from it. “Thanks, El. I don’t know what you did to convince him to talk to her, but… you just made Charlie’s year.” 

She choked. “H-Her year?” 

“Charlie’s?” Vaggie laughed. “Ohhhh, yeah.” 

Suddenly, the Princess of Hell called out, waving a hand at the two of them, one of her arms wrapped loosely around her short dad’s shoulders. “Oooh! Vaggie, Vaggie, come here! I didn’t get to introduce you last time!” 

Now it was Vaggie’s turn to tense up and look awkward, having to face the most dangerous and deadly thing of all… the father-in-law. “O-Oh! Right! Of course. Um…” 

She walked over and gave Lucifer a timid wave, mustering up a smile. 

“Hi.”

Pulling away from Lucifer, Charlie set the rubber ducks and unopened letter down, moving to stand beside Vaggie and lift up one her hands, smiling down at her encouragingly before they both looked at the blond king, who was beaming brightly up at them. “This is~ Vaggie! She’s my girlfriend!” 

Lucifer’s eyes practically bugged out of his head, and Eleanora cringed, realizing just now that he had no idea his daughter was a lesbian. 

He seemed to take it fairly well, though… in the only way an awkward and formerly estranged father could. 

“Oho, my golly! You like girls!” Lucifer laughed, resting a hand over his chest- his poor heart nearly jumping out of his ribcage from the surprise that his daughter was dating someone. He brought a hand to his cheek, then fervently gestured from himself to Charlie and back to him again. “Yes- well, uh- so do I! We have so much in common!”

He tossed his arms out, his panic evident with how quickly he was speaking.

“You put ‘er there, Maggie!” Vaggie reached out to shake his hand, not at all seeming perturbed he got her name wrong, only to yelp when he tugged her into an abrupt hug. “Welcome to the family! Ahaha! Ha! Yeah…!” 

He released her and she stumbled back, laughing awkwardly herself. “L-Lovely to meet you! Uh, sir?”

“Call me Dad!”” Lucifer looked up at Charlie, praying she approved of him approving. “Sh-She’s so pretty! Hehe.” 

Charlie flashed him a smile, wrapping an arm around Vaggie and pulling her close. She pressed a kiss to her girlfriend’s forehead, her red eyes shimmering with what was most certainly the purest form of love as she gazed down at Vaggie, who was deeply touched by Charlie’s affection. “Isn’t she?”

Eleanora remained standing by the staircase, silent and forgotten. 

Okay, well… this looks like it’s going well. Eleanora nodded to herself, taking a step back up onto the staircase. They don’t… need me anymore, right? 

Lucifer seems like he’ll do just fine on his own. 

I’m just… gonna run away now. 

She’s not part of the family, and she’ll just feel uncomfortable if she hangs around, bound to stand in a corner silently the entire time the three talk. Eleanora has spent the majority of her life as an extra forgettable wheel in her old so-called friend groups; she’s not about to continue that in Hell. 

Besides, her job here is done. 

Charlie and Lucifer… can only go up from here. 

Seeing them, and Vaggie, happy was good enough for her. 

Taking a deep breath, she turned around and started to quietly sneak her way up the staircase, doing her best to avoid the creaky steps. She had gotten halfway up when she suddenly heard a loud, 

“Whoa! No, no, no! Where do you think you’re going!?” 

By the time she looked behind her, Lucifer had already snatched her hand, having run up the stairs with incredible speed. The brunette was frozen, eyes wide as could be, baffled by the look he was giving her. 

“No running out on me!” He exclaimed, voice a hushed growl. “You promised!” 

“B-But you-“ Eleanora was so confused. “You’re doing great! You got this!” 

Lucifer yanked her hand, and if he wasn’t right there to catch her, she might have fallen down the stairs. He lifted his face right up to hers, the brunette’s nose nearly touching where he should have one. “I do not got this! I am clearly panicking! I could say the wrong thing at any second! Please! Don’t…” His expression softened. “Don’t leave me on my own.” 

Brown eyes gazed into pleading red, and as she stared at him, observing his facial features and taking note of the sheer intensity of his emotions, trying to pinpoint what it all was she was seeing, Eleanora started to have the strangest feeling that this was about more than just being afraid of talking to his daughter by himself.

Unfortunately, before she could say anything else or ask him about it, she heard Charlie calling out from her spot in the lounge,

“Dad!? El? Is… everything okay?” The blonde couldn’t hear what either of them were saying. “What’s going on!?” 

Eleanora peered at the blond from over Lucifer’s shoulder, feeling his hand squeezing hers in a desperate search for encouragement, the devil king needing someone by his side. “Uh… nothing! Um…” 

Frick. This probably looks super weird, doesn’t it? 

“I, uh…” Should she bail or stay with him? It’s hard to run off when he looks so scared. “I was just-“

“Charlieeee~!” Lucifer sang, spinning on his heel and tugging the brunette down so she was standing beside him. “Sweetie! Sweetheart. I-I just didn’t want little Ellie here to sneak away before I could give credit where credit is due! Haha! Isn’t that right, Ellie!?” 

“Credit?” She echoed, befuddled by his declaration. “What… credit? Credit for what?” 

He didn’t answer, instead making his way down the staircase and taking her with him, his hand holding firmly onto hers. When they were in front of Charlie and Vaggie again, he tugged Eleanora close and held up the hand he was holding, flashing the human a wide grin. “You came up with the idea to gift Charlie the rubber duckies! I made them, but you came up with the idea!” 

“Awww, is that true!?” Charlie gushed, squishing her hands against her cheeks. “El~ that’s so sweet! I can’t believe you really worked with my dad just to surprise me!” 

“I-I was just- oof!” 

Eleanora was not prepared to be tackled by the Princess of Hell. “Thank you, thank you, thank you~! I don’t deserve a friend like you!” 

Wait, what? 

“I’m so glad it was you who ended up down here!” 

Charlie paused. 

Loosening her grip, she pulled back and gave the stunned human an apologetic look. “I mean, I’m not glad you were forcibly summoned against your will or anything like that and are kinda stuck down here in Hell until we figure something out, but like- I’m glad it was you that was summoned? Because you’re super nice? Not that I’m glad you’re down here, or that I’m glad you’re down here, but I’m glad that it was you who ended up down here? I mean-“ 

Realizing Charlie was about to ramble herself into a stupor, Eleanora snapped out her shock and held her hands- and Lucifer’s, since he still hasn’t let go, like he was afraid she’d run away- up to try and calm her. “I-It’s all good! I got it! I… know what you meant.”

“O-Oh! Good.” Charlie smiled awkwardly and stepped back, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “I started to confuse myself a little, hehe. Uh…”

Her gaze landed on the hand Lucifer was holding. 

Charlie’s red eyes flickered over to her father, who was smiling, focused solely on his daughter, to Eleanora, who was also staring at the blonde. “Well! We don’t… have anything super fancy we can prepare for dinner, Dad, and we only just started working on the hotel so we still have a lot of work to do to make it more… presentable, but… if you’d like to join us…” She raised her arms up in a hopeful shrug. “The offer’s there?” 

“Abso~lutely!” Lucifer exclaimed, stepping forward and pumping the air with his free fist. He was grinning as wide as his face would allow, practically standing on his tiptoes. “I’d love to!” 

Charlie clapped her hands together, beaming. “Great! Vaggie?” 

The silver-haired woman was already heading up the steps, making her way to the kitchen to start cooking. “On it!” 

“I’ll show you around in the meantime, Dad! Come on!” She waved him over, gesturing for him to follow her, tactfully deciding not to question why her father and the human she recently made a pact with were holding hands. “We’ve got so many plans for this place, just you wait! When it’s ready, maybe you can come over and have another look!” 

In the end, Eleanora had accepted her fate, realizing she had somehow unintentionally become Lucifer’s emotional support human. But whether that was a good thing or bad… 

She didn’t really know. 

“Oooh,” Charlie squealed, waving her fists excitedly in the air, “I can’t wait until we get our first real resident! Today’s a great day! And I can just tell tomorrow is gonna be amazing, too!” 

Eleanora also didn’t really know why Lucifer’s hand felt as nice as it did. 

She just hoped no one would say anything weird about it.

[flowerslut]

this is so random and not fic related but i feel comfort to be a hater on your blog and i just saw a tiktok of someone making an outfit "inspired by alice" and it's so ugly 😭 like gurlll she would never wear ripped flare jeans and converse shoes she would literally beat you up for that ughh i hate when do fashion girly alice cullen wrong like that!!!

sjdgdkfnkjsnfdjkbfkj thank you SO much for bringing your haterade to the picnic. no but I fully agree with you re: the way the fandom interprets alice's fashionista tendencies. like it's so funny the ways that book!alice's sense of style is so garishly overwritten by the trends of the mid aughties. of course most of this is because of the movie being a product of its time (babydoll dresses, cardigans and ballet flats will now always be associated with alice), but a little bit of the blame does go on stephenie meyer too. homegirl thinks sleeveless button-downs and long skirts are 'indecent'. she doesn't have a great starting point for what stylish even is. a truly "stylish" alice cullen wouldn't be caught dead even owning converses. I can't even picture her wearing tennis shoes outside of an AU setting. straight up you're already on thin fucking ice if you're in jeans and claiming to be doing some sort of alice cullen closet cosplay. homegirl does not have any of those items in her closet 💀

anyways this is an insider sneak peak, but over on @threebooksoneplot we plan on doing a fun fashion discussion as part of a bonus episode at some point eventually (with, of course, an assist from our resident stylist/stellar guest @rahze) so if you want my full twilight fashion opinions you'll get them one day, in detail 💅🏻

[kinktae]

bitchin’ || pt. 8 (M)

The 80s were a time of choices. Which perm was right for you? What color neon would you wear next? None of these choices, however, were more questionable than a certain deal you made with Jeon Jungkook.

pairing: fratboy!jungkook x reader

word count: 4k

genre: 1980s au, eventual smut, e2l

warnings: sir kink, student/teacher roleplay, oral (f), fingering, hand job, overstimulation, another bussy slap, peepee in veevee, jk kind of uses y/n like a pocket pussy LMFAOOO, angst

A/N: This fic was inspired by To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before. Thank you to @junqkook for letting me use her likeness!

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10

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PART EIGHT 

“Mom told you I was coming down for Christmas, right?” You chirped into your phone’s earpiece, pressing it between your cheek and shoulder as you needed both hands to slip on your socks.

You had just finished brushing your teeth when your phone began to ring; you were surprised but delighted to hear your sister Rosa greet you from the other end. It felt like ages since you had spoken to either of your sisters. Sure, you gave your parents a ring every weekend, but your siblings had their own lives to worry about, you assumed.

“Not even! You know, Sammy broke up with his girlfriend last month, so he’s spending it with us for once.” Your elder sister replied.

You stretch your legs out in front of you, still stiff from sleep.

“All of us on one couch again, huh. That hasn’t happened since the final episode of M.A.S.H premiered on TV.”

“God, I’ve never seen Dad cry as much as he did that night.” Rosa reminisced, pulling a giggle from you as you replied the memory on your head. Your entire family with their noses pressed to the television’s screen, bidding farewell to a story and cast you had loved since you were seven.

“So when are you coming down then? Has winter break started for you guys yet?”

“Not yet,” you told her, “and I still have to ask Jungkook if he’d want to drive down together.”

“Jungkook?”

You froze, the fact that your family had no idea about your fake boyfriend completely slipping your mind.

“H-He’s a friend. We went to the same high school and… yeah…” You trailed off pathetically, feeling extremely vulnerable talking to Rosa about a boy.

The last she knew about your love life was the proposal… and your rather hasty return of the ring.

“A friend.” She repeated knowingly. “And will I be meeting said friend sometime this Christmas?”

Two knocks against the dorm door rang out suddenly, momentarily distracting you.

Jungkook? Meeting your family?

The idea should have made you snicker, easily dismissible, but sat in your small dorm room, on the very bed you and Jungkook often hung out on, you couldn’t help but picture yourself sat at your family’s dinner table, a Christmas dinner laid out in front of you.

You couldn’t deny how easy it was to picture him sitting beside you, chatting happily with everyone. Jungkook was important to you, in more ways than you cared to admit, and the idea of your family knowing that made your stomach flood with butterflies.

“Um… maybe, actually. Yeah.”

You hardly heard your sister’s noise of excitement as another series of knocks pulled you from your thoughts, these louder in volume.

Alright, alright.

You sighed, “Hey, I’m sorry, someone’s at the door. I’ve got to go, Rosa. Tell Lia I said hi?”

“You got it, dude.” Was your sister’s cheeky reply, a soft clang ringing out as you hurriedly placed the earpiece back onto the rotary phone.

You wondered who was at the door? It couldn’t be Yara as she had left for her first class not even ten minutes ago. Maybe it was your dorm floor’s RA?

Yanking the door open, you meet the eyes of an anxious-looking Jungkook, his hands shoved into his pockets.

“Well, you’re up early.” You quirked up an eyebrow.

“Can I come in?” He ignored. You frowned.

“Of course.”

Jungkook stepped forward in an instant, shutting the door behind him.

“What’s wrong—”

His mouth found yours suddenly, hands gripping your waist as he pulled you into him. You let out a soft gasp at his sudden motions but returned the kiss quickly, mewing as he pushed you up against the nearest wall.

Your head felt like it was spinning, it had all happened so quickly; his hand holding a leg of yours up and around his waist so that he could slip a thigh between yours.

He always smelled great in the morning, like body wash and his shampoo. You intertwined your fingers into his freshly dried hair, his tongue already pushing past your lips.

You tasted like the mint of your favorite brand of toothpaste. He imagined if he had caught you any later then the mint would have been accompanied by the taste of coffee, knowing the way you rarely started a day without a cup.

God, he had missed the taste of you.

“Where’s Yara?” He broke the kiss lazily, redirecting his mouth onto the skin where your jaw met your neck.

You let out a soft whine, enjoying the way he was nipping and licking at your sensitive skin.

“S-She just left for class.”

“Perfect.”

Head cloudy, you watched as the handsome boy sunk to his knees, sitting on the back on his heels as he began to press kisses on your still bare thighs on show thanks to your pajama shorts. You were utterly enthralled by the sight of him, his eyes dark and ravenous as he nipped at your flesh.

You were jerked back into reality, however, when one of your legs were thrown over his shoulder, his intentions suddenly hitting you.

“W-Wait!” You panicked.

Jungkook’s eyes met yours curiously, pressing a kiss again your clothed center as he raised an eyebrow as if to ask you what was wrong.

You let out a squeal at the sight of Jungkook’s mouth against your most intimate parts. Bringing both hands to cover your face, you spoke through your fingers.

“You, um, don’t have to—“

“I want to.” He replied bluntly, pressing more kisses against you, your hips jerking into him consequently.

Your reaction told him everything you couldn’t. Erik had never gone down on you. So Jungkook was going fucking to relish every second in being the first man who would ever have you like this.

“I’ll be gentle, nerd. I promise. I’ll take care of you.”

He ran his thumb up and down against your clothed slit as he contemplated just exactly how he wanted you.

His decision was made for him, however, as a hand of yours came down timidly, pulling at the tied knot which kept your shorts up.

Jungkook was preening as he watched you peel the clothes off your body, a shy look on your face. He was rock hard in his sweats, too eager at the prospect of eating you out to wait for you to take off your underwear, his tongue running flat against the wet patch of your panties.

“Fucking beautiful.” He cursed as your breath spiked, fingers coming back down to finger his hair.

You felt like you were losing your god damn mind. The sight alone of Jungkook running his tongue against you was enough to bring you to climax, but it was his tongue’s discovery of your clit that finally had you moaning out. He ran the hot muscle around it, the fabric of your cotton underwear rubbing against it with just enough pressure to have you bring your hips into him.

You had this dozed off look on your face, he noticed, your jaw slightly ajar as your brows furrowed with every little movement his mouth made.

Cute.

You let out a cry, heading tilting back into the wall as two of his fingers pushed past your damp underwear up into you, not bothering to tease your sopping entrance.

“That feel good, little girl?“

"Y-Yes, sir.”

He could see the way your little fists clenched at your sides, craving purchase but unsure of what to grip onto as the wall offer no grip. If his mouth wasn’t so preoccupied, he would have pleaded for you to dig them into his hair, tugging at his scalp as you lost yourself on the feeling of his mouth.

He flattened his tongue over your clothed slit, reeling at how wet you were for him, tasting you through the cotton; the little noises you were making only edged his actions further.

“You’re so wet.” Jungkook groaned.

An involuntary jerk of your hips was his cue to curl his fingers into deeper than he had been previously, pulling his mouth away from you to press a kiss onto your thigh. He watched with a smug grin as you unraveled in front of him, his fingers hitting a spot that had your toes curling.

”Fuck.“

The word slipped from you, tangled with broken whines as you finally climaxed.

You hadn’t even managed a minute to yourself when Jungkook’s mouth found yours again, guided by the desperate need to feel you again.

Somehow you found yourself back in your room, Jungkook hovering above you as he kissed you slowly and deeply, hips rocking into yours mercilessly. The fabric of your panties tugged against your most intimate parts, and Jungkook swallowed your whimpers greedily.

It didn’t take long for his slim digits wrap around the sides of your panties, tugging down the ruined garment, sitting back on his heels to get a proper look at your exposed glistening cunt.

"Ah, fuck me already.” Your impatience caught up with you, eyebrows furrowing. You had managed to lose all articles of clothes, yet there was Jungkook, fully dressed, not an inch of his skin exposed.

A cry let you as his hand came down onto your already swollen clit, tucking a lip between your teeth to suppress back the moan that threatened to come out.

“What an indecent student I have.” He scoffed, despite the way he rubbed at your clit gently.  "Maybe if you asked politely, you’d get what you want from me.“

You mewed, "Mm, I-I’m sorry, sir, please, need you inside of me. I can’t wait any longer.”

Jungkook abandoned your clit suddenly, tapping a finger against his chin as if pretending to contemplate your plea. You whimpered as he brought that same finger up to his mouth, wrapping his tongue around it decidedly.

“Hmm, I think I’ll take my time with you, actually.” He cooed once his fingers were well wet, pressing them back into you.

Your pussy welcomed his fingers greedily, velvety walls molding to the slender digits as they fucked into you, making a mess of you.

Frustration was pushed aside for a moment, eyes fluttering closed as you drowned yourself in the pleasure your pretend lover was giving you.

“Beautiful. So fucking gorgeous.” The dark-haired boy breathed, mostly to himself.

A surprised noise fell from him as one of your hands snuck it’s away over to his crotch, pulling down his sweats and wrapping itself around his hard cock.

“I want to make… you feel good, too.” You admitted through a hiccup, and if it weren’t for the feeling of your hand pumping his shaft, Jungkook would have leaned over and pressed a kiss to your nose.

He whined through his nose, jaw locked as he continued fingering you.

Pants filled the room, and you weren’t sure if you were groaning at the feeling of Jungkook’s hands on you or the noises he let out as you ran your thumb over the leaking red tip of his head. Probably a mixture of both.

He really was so irritating, even his sex noises were attractive.

Suddenly, his hand wrapped around yours, pulling it off his fat cock with a hiss. He pressed a kiss onto the top of your hands, breathing uneven.

“That’s enough, baby. You did so well for me.” He praised, earning a shy smile from you.

The smile was short-lived, however, as his insatiable mouth found your clit again, lapping at it as he sucked the bud into his mouth. A sob tumbled out, your thighs wrapping around his head as you were blinded by the stimulation.

You were so close, and you didn’t want to cum without having his cock inside you. The idea alone made you want to cry.

A desperate ramble of pleas for him to take you came rushing out of you, hand tugging at his hair to pull him away from you.

“Alright, alright.” Jungkook laughed, obliging you as he sat back up, hand leading his cock towards your dripping entrance. “God, you’re so fucking cute.”

Then something miraculous happened.

As his cock sunk into you, accompanied by the light circling of your clit, something inside you snapped, your orgasm hitting you hard and unexpectedly. Jungkook watched in awe as your back arched, your entire body shaking as you slowly came down.

“Baby, did you come?” He breathed incredulously once your eyes finally found him again.

“Yeah…” You whined, cheeks warm and chest rising sharply.

“Do you…” he swallowed, gripping the part of his cock that had yet to make its way inside you, “do you think you can come again for me?”

One of his hands was resting on your thigh, his palm burning against your skin. You flashed him a guilty look before shaking your head no.

Your body and head felt heavy and tired, and as much as you’d like to think you could spend forever intertwined with Jungkook, you had minimal experience with multiple orgasms.

Jungkook pressed a kiss to your mouth before nodding, moving to pull out of you, “That’s okay. I understand.”

“Jungkook.”

“Yeah?”

“…You don’t have to stop.” You muttered shyly.

“Hm? But I thought you—”

“It doesn’t matter, you can still… You can keep going. I don’t care if I don’t come.” You insisted. “You can use me until you get off. I don’t mind if it’s you.”

If it’s you.

Jungkook felt his ears grow red; you wanted him to use you to get himself off? And just like that, that familiar feeling rising in his chest. The feeling that everything was more than it was– that you were his, and he was yours.

You placed a hand onto of his, squeezing it. He blinked, thoughts vanishing the moment he saw your suggestive eyes.

A wolfish smirk crept onto his face.

“On your tummy, baby.”

A soft chirp fell from you, muffled slightly by the pillow your face was resting on as he slid into you from behind, this time bottoming out all the way like he wanted.

His grip on your hips tightened, a drawn-out groan sounding out.

“So tight for me.”

You held back your groans as he built up his rhythm, his cock hitting deep within you. Jungkook’s mouth was pressing kisses against your shoulder, his sharp breaths and soft groans flooding into your ears.

"You’re in so deep, fuck.” You gasped, burying your face into the pillow at a particularly hard thrust.

God, you were grateful that Yara wasn’t home, as there was no way she wouldn’t be able to hear how loud the two of you were being.

Sweat glistened where ever your bodies touched, leaving you feeling hot and overwhelmed, pussy on fire from waves of overstimulation.

Suddenly, Jungkook let out a low grunt, slowing down his thrusts, “Fuck, fuck, fuck, where do you want me to cum?”

With sluggish effort, you prompted yourself back up on your elbows, looking over your shoulder at him.

“Inside me.” You begged without hesitation. He let out a noise of regard, bitting down on the spot of your neck that he knew you were particularly fond of.

“Yeah? Want me to stuff you with it? Fill you up all nice?”

He couldn’t help himself. His hand found its way underneath you, fingertips brushing your clit lightly and in quick motions.

A broken wail accompanied your nod, head falling forward as your mind went blank beyond return.

“Hmph, y-yes, fuck, please!”

“Anything for my baby. Anything she wants. My pretty girl.” He cooed against your skin, panting and hips stilling.

You met your third and final climax alongside Jungkook, insides painted with layers of his hot cum. Jungkook worked himself through his orgasm, softly thrusting into your spazzing walls until he was milked entirely dry.

Pulling out of you, he flopped down beside you, hand coming up to run through his sweat-dampened hair. You rolled over with a huff, vision still spotty.

“How are you feeling?” Your meathead inquired.

“Radical. And you?”

“Bitchin’.” He grinned up at the ceiling.

He turned to face you suddenly, placing a hand on your cheek. For a second, you thought he was going to say something, but as he laid his head back down onto the pillow, you realized it was more a gesture of affection than a request for attention, his thumb rubbing against your cheekbone.

You ran your fingertips against his bicep, enjoying the way every trail of your touch left goosebumps against his skin.

The room was comfortably quiet, except for the ticking of that clock of yours– the one Jungkook told you time and time again that he hated.

“What are you doing for Christmas? Are you going home?” You asked suddenly, the question weighing on your mind for a while.

“Actually, my parents are out of town for Christmas.”

You felt disappointment crash over you, a small frown finding your lips.

“Oh. Bummer.”

Jungkook chuckled at your sour expression, leaning over suddenly to press a kiss against your pouting mouth.

“Nah, it’s okay. I still go down to visit friends and shit. I usually spend Christmas with one of them.” He reassured you, mouth finding your neck as he began to press kiss down it.

You let out a sigh, fingers gripping Jungkook’s shoulders.

Okay, it’s now or never. Spit it out already.

“Do you… What if you spend Christmas with me?” You finally managed to squeak out.

“You,” Jungkook pulled back from you, something indecipherable crossing his eyes, “want me to spend it with you?”

You turned away from his intense stare, heat creeping up your neck.

Part of you wondered if you should brush him off with a laugh, telling himself to check his ego before that big head of his exploded. That you only offered as an act of kindness.

“Yeah, I do.” Was your reply, however.

“Oh.”

His reply was immediate and disheartening. You brought your duvet up to cover your bare chest, suddenly feeling exposed and vulnerable.

“My mom’s Christmas pecan pie is kind of legendary, you know. And she always makes way too much. We have leftovers that last us the rest of the week.” You rambled awkwardly.

“Y/N–”

But it was too late. The nervous word vomit had already set in.

“You don’t have to, of course! I mean, that’s probably weird, right? Like, meeting the family, woah, intense! That’s something couples do and we’re… Anyway, I just thought maybe since we’re pretty close we could–”

“I have to tell you something.” He interrupted, sounding serious.

It wasn’t until then that you noticed the way his chest was rising irregularly, breaths shallow and ragged. He looked… uneasy.

“Okay. Tell me.” You replied gently, look at him inquisitively.

“Kiri came over last night.”

Your stomach dropped, “Oh?”

“She wants to get back together.” Jungkook swallowed dryly, eyes wavering between yours as if to gauge your reaction.

“…Oh.”

You shook your head.

“I mean, wow! That’s… That’s great!” You smiled, something tearing apart inside you as the words left your lips.

“Y/N–”

“Seriously! This means it worked, right? This is exactly what you wanted to happen.” You enthused, turning your head so that he couldn’t see way your eyes had welled up.

Jungkook’s heart was pounding in his ears, fighting the urge to wrap his arms around you.

“Yeah… yeah, no, you’re right. We did it.” He replied monotonously.

You blinked back the tears, refusing to let yourself cry over a boy you weren’t even dating.

“Yeah. We did.”

Silence fell over the room, the air swarming with uncomfortable tension. God, you didn’t want this. You didn’t want this at all. Things were so good just a second ago. You would do anything to go back to when Jungkook was on top of you and telling you how beautiful you were.

Clearing your throat, you rolled back over to face him.

“So tell me, meathead. How’d it go? We oughta go and buy champagne or something.“

Jungkook offered you a smile, and maybe it was you looking too far into it, but it certainly felt insincere.

"She came over to my room last night. Said she wanted to talk.”

“And what did she say?”

“Uh… not a lot, actually.”

“Huh? What did you guys do then?”

There was something guilty in the way Jungkook looked at you– something that had you feeling uneasy.

“…You slept with her.” You blinked.

Jungkook sat up in the bed, a hand coming up to rub at the back of his neck anxiously.

“She was saying how she missed me and then suddenly she was kissing me and I… I don’t know I kind of just reacted–"

“Wait.” You sat up straight, expression hard. “Let me get this straight. You fucked her last night. And this morning… you fucked me.”

You felt sick. To think that just a few hours ago, Jungkook’s dick was inside someone else. The mouth that was kissing you and telling you how much you meant to him, was doing the same for Kiri not even a full day ago.

So, what… were you just Jungkook’s to fuck around with whenever he wanted?

“Are you mad?” He called out cautiously, a heavy feeling falling onto his chest.

“Why would I be mad?” You quipped back sharply, causing Jungkook to flinch. He shifted in his seat uncomfortably.

“I just thought… I mean we’ve been fooling around a lot lately, so I didn’t know if—”

“If what? I had feelings for you?” You scoffed. “Please, as if I’d ever fall for you.”

And there it was— everything Jungkook already knew but had been so afraid to hear. Of course, you didn’t feel for him what he felt for you. How could he have expected anything different?

Fuck. What had he done?

Your mattress groaned as you slipped off the bed, beginning to hastily dress.

“You can go.” You continued, pulling your shirt over your head.

Jungkook’s heart sank, “What?”

“You got what you wanted from me, right? Mission accomplished.”

“Nerd, that’s not why—” His words were stopped by the impact of his shirt being thrown into his chest, your stare ice cold.

“Don’t fucking call—” You paused, attempting to calm yourself with a shaky breath. “I have class. Please just… go.”

Jungkook did nothing for a moment, staring at you with those guilty eyes that did nothing but hurt you further.

You were a smart girl. So how did you let someone like him make a complete fool out of you?

You wanted to scream, you wanted to cry, but you refused to let him see how small you felt right now. So you stood there unwaveringly as you faced the boy you had so stupidly let into your heart.

Jungkook could hear the way you struggled to steady your breaths as he dressed; he had never hated himself more than he did right now. There was so much he should be saying, yet he couldn’t find the words. Even as he was fully dressed and met your eyes one final time, he still remained voiceless, despite the way his insides screamed to say something that could take back what he had done. Something that would fix what he had just broken.

“Now.” You stated, tone void of emotion.

It was a front, of course, just a means of hiding the way you felt like you were crumbling. Even when Jungkook slipped past you wordlessly, you still held steady. And it wasn’t until you heard the click of the front door closing that you finally let yourself break, eyes wet as your lips parted, a small sob slipping past them.

[voxvulpina]

You know what’s heart breaking...it’s seeing all the CSA victims feeling the need to share their stories so people can understand how bad this shit hurts. How bad this whole pedo baiting is affecting them. It’s like, arguing against pedophilia isn’t enough. No. They have to relive their trauma and bare themselves on their blog...and for fucking what?? Shippers to invalidate their pain and tell them to stop watching. It breaks my fucking heart and makes me cry everytime. Sesshomaru was supposed to be a dad. A man who could give an abused girl a new home and love her unconditionally...platonically, and yet, we have these gross ass people in the fandom bastardizing these characters and sexualizing a minor. Some of these victims have already been betrayed by some of their family members and they found a way to cope through Sesshomaru’s beautiful character development. Through the depiction of a man who wouldn’t take advantage of an underage girl, and now Sunrise is just tainting that. It’s painful man. Like...I feel for ever single person who had to go through that shit and are having to witness this shit unfold. It breaks my heart. Y’all are brave as hell and I hope you know you’re not alone in the fight. This shit isn’t okay. It won’t ever be okay. And you’re 100% right in pointing it out

Hello, Anon. It saddens me to read this as you're obviously hurting along with the rest of us, survivors especially.

We've had to deal with a loud section of the Yashahime fandom enabling and justifying grooming and abuse since day 1. But the posts and comments that started appearing after the preview and special have hit a new low. We're seeing people try to trigger others with graphic descriptions of adult-on-minor intercourse. We're seeing them tell survivors to man up, get over it, stop whining. That it's just a cartoon and they can shut up and leave if they don't like it. This morning I saw someone outright victimblame a survivor.

What makes it worse is that these aren't new characters Sunrise is dragging through the mud. They're beloved characters, comfort characters, that many of us closely associate with our childhood. That's why people are so upset. It's not just the indecency of what Sunrise is doing, it's the fact it strikes close to our hearts.

Now, I've said it a thousand times but I'll say it again, I don't believe Rin is the mother. But what Sunrise have done isn't something that can just be taken back. Hinting at a 14-year-old giving birth to her adult guardian's babies is unacceptable, even if it's just bait. And we shouldn't let them off the hook, no matter what.

I think we should wait and see what Saturday brings. Groomers are sure the episode will confirm SessRin- I don't think it will, but neither do I think it'll be debunked outright. Imo Sunrise want the "mystery" to drag on as long as possible. But sooner or later, we're going to have to take to social media en masse, even if an adult is revealed to be the mother.

If SessRin is confirmed, we'll need to target distributors like Viz and Crunchyroll, and get them to drop the series.

If SessRin is thrown out, I think we should shitstorm Sunrise on Twitter all the same. They baited it. They had the gall to hint at it, just for views and attention. It's disgusting, it's unfair to viewers, particularly to the young girls and survivors among us, and it needs to be called out.

[death-is-a-new-beginning]

if you still write for cisco, i’d like ro request a smut (if you do them, its okay if not)! he and the reader are together but its a secret. she’s been bratty and teasing him all day. cisco tries to keep his cool but he’s obviously breaking, so she snaps hia final straw by flirting with barry (before iris & him are together). something inside him snaps and he drags her to his lab and fucks her senseless and overstimulates her. thank you in advance!!

A/N: Ooh I would love to do this for you! This is my first time writing smut but I'm going to do my best. Sorry it took so long! I wanted to make sure I got this right. I hope you like it! Also requests are open, feel free to request some more fics! 

Word Count: 2699

__________________________________________________________________

All damn day. All damn day y/n had been teasing Cisco. He was going absolutely mad because all he wanted to do was pull her onto his lap and kiss her senseless and do so many things just to hear her scream Papi, the way she did when she finally released her control. God just thinking about it made him want her that much more. But he couldn't do anything because they were keeping their relationship on the down low.

She was wearing normal clothes that normally would not call attention to her but for some reason it looked so good on her. It had been cold outside so she had worn a black hoodie with the S.T.A.R Labs logo on it and some dark jeans with red converse, totally normal clothes. But something about those jeans made her butt look a type of way that he just wanted to smack. At some point during the day in between missions the temperature had gotten warm and y/n took off her hoodie to reveal one of Cisco's new t-shirts he'd gotten recently with a mathematical equation written on it. It was like she was trying to get them outted. She looked at him smirking, knowing full well what wearing his clothes did to him. She then circled him like a temptress and reached over the control table for a her pen and came dangerously close to his face, he could feel her breath fanning him, her lips inches from him. It was like a mental battle they were fighting to see who would give in first. He was oh so close and willing to give in if it meant having her close to him.

After a few seconds of making intense eye contact, she smiled sweetly and said "Sorry Pap-Cisco I can't seem to reach my pen, do you mind passing it to me?"

He quickly passed it to her, swallowing thickly suddenly so thirsty, with a thirst that no amount of water could quench but time alone with her. He stood up abruptly and said, "No problem at all," and quickly exited the room, he need to get out of there. Barry would be back from the police department soon and he didn't want them to catch them doing something deliciously indecent. Not to mention Caitlin was working with them as well so it would just be problematic all the way around.

The rest of the day seemed to pass by agonizingly. With "accidental" brushes of skin in passing or flirty glances and there may have been something with a lollipop and a fake innocent laugh, he was at his wits end and about ready to burst, not caring about exposing their relationship. Later that day, they were working on some tech for Barry's suit when Cisco made a comment about her not programming something correctly and she just flipped him off.

"Like you never make a mistake? Geez, I'm already fixing it. Get off my back cowboy." The sexual frustration was translating over into just straight frustration with each other.

"Rarely do I make a mistake that would end in our friend getting killed," he fired back at her, immediately regretting it but he couldn't take it back.

"Fine, Mr. Perfect finish this yourself. I need a break anyways," she huffed and dropped the tools she was using and was already out of the room before he could call her back.

When Barry walked into the metahuman jail section, he noticed y/n sitting down on the floor reading a book about Quantum Physics, trying to come up with new ways to help Barry's suit phase with him more smoothly.

"It looks like you're doing some light reading," he joked, sitting next to her.

She laughed, "Yep, I needed a distraction before actually punching someone in the face. Maybe you know a guy on which I could use as a punching bag?"

Barry's eyebrow raised inquisitively, "Who do you want to punch in the face? Who hurt you?" He began laughing and bumped her shoulder with his.

"That is a can of worms I'm not sure we want to open muchacho," she joked with a bright smile, already feeling better, she hated arguing with Cisco, especially when it came to keeping Barry safe or when he felt like she wasn't doing a good enough job.

"How about you give me a list of names and I'll be back in like two minutes with the names crossed off with thorough lessons learned?"

"You think you could get it done in two minutes? Its quite a long list. I think it would take five minutes at least."

"Dang how long are we talking?" He asked.

"You know that episode of SpongeBob where the list just keeps going like out of his house or what not? Yeah about that long," she chuckled.

Barry cracked his knuckles and stood up, "Okay, no time like the present, give me the names and I'll beat their ass," she stood up while laughing then said, "Easy there Sonic, you need to fuel up and check in with Caitlin for your normal check up."

About thirty minutes later when she hadn't returned, Cisco went to go find her, he was worried he might have took it too far. He passed by the metahuman holding cells and heard her laughter mixing with Barry's. They were making their way to the entrance, he heard Barry ask her if there was anything he could do to help her and she said a hug would work. He watched them hug, her arms were around his neck which made her shirt rise up a little so Barry's hands were on her bare skin. After a few seconds they pulled away, with a sigh she sent him on his way to Caitlin and sighed before turning to go back to where Cisco was only to come face to face with a pissed off Cisco.

Y/n stopped in her tracks, a pissed off Cisco was probably one of the hottest thing to witness, but his anger was directed towards her, she could detect that much.

"What the hell Y/n? I know we want to keep our relationship on the DL but flirting with Barry? What the actual hell?" The realization that Cisco was jealous of Barry, for no reason, made her laugh.

"What is so funny?" Cisco asked almost yelling. He couldn't take it anymore, he felt so possessive and seeing them hug was the straw that broke this camels back. He would show her who she belonged to, as much as he belonged to her. He grabbed her arm and pulled her into a secret room he had found the first year he started working at the lab. He sometimes slept there when he was working late. It had a mattress he'd secretly brought a few years ago.

He locked the door and like a predator hunting his prey, he pounced. He pushed her up against the wall, he had placed his hand behind her head to protect it, just like guys do in anime. His eyes darkened when he saw how turned on she was. He almost growled, "You're mine. Only mine, and I'm yours," he pressed his lips to hers passionately and it was on. A fight for dominance began but one he was winning. He smiled in the kiss and pulled away. Her eyes slowly opened, she was panting hard. His hands had moved down from her head to her side sliding his hand under his shirt she was wearing until he reached her breasts and he squeezed her the way she liked.

She moaned softly with this action her eyes growing dark and his hand were on the move again, unbottoning her jeans and reaching for the one place she ached for. When he reached that place his hands slowly circled her mound so slow that it was almost agonizing.

"All day you've been taunting me, being cute, wearing my shirt, being a brat. You even flirted with Barry! Well baby girl, you messed with the bull, prepare to get the horns." His voice deepened and the Cisco that only she gets to see came forward. He removed his hand, the source of her pleasure, which made her whine in desperation. 

"Take off everything. Now." He demanded.

"Yes S-sir." She stuttered, at times she was unprepared for the shift in dominance with Cisco. Most of the time he was laid back and nerdy as all get out, but here and right now Papi Cisco was present and demanded respect. This made her want him all that much more. She removed her articles of clothing one by one. His eyes raked over her as he licked his lips. 

“Now get on all fours on the mattress. You know what to do, you’ve been a bad girl and it’s time to get punished,” She complied, her bum was up slightly. She stared ahead at the metal wall. He took off his shirt, and approached her his hands squeezing her ass, massaging it. 

“You’ve been bad baby girl, being so beautiful and flirty with me all day when we are trying to keep our relationship under wraps. You’ve been pushing my buttons. You’re going to count to three okay?” He asked kindly. 

“Okay,” She said. 

“Okay what?” He asked.

“Okay sir,” She replied with a smile on her face. 

“Good girl, let’s begin,” He spanked her, it was a solid spank that didn’t hurt but made heat pool down her body. “One,” she moaned. The second and third followed suit with more pressure in each spank. After he was done, he massaged her butt, there was a bit of redness but he would make sure she wasn’t in any discomfort. He peppered kisses on her ass which made her moan, the soft touches were driving her crazy. He took those kisses lower until he reached her lips, licking down her strip, moaning at how wet she was for him. 

“Please, Cisco,” she mewled, all she wanted was for him to finish what he started over and over again. 

“No Mamas, you teased me, now its my turn. On your back baby girl. You’re not allowed to touch yourself,” she turned over, laying on some firm pillows that gave her the support she’d definitely need soon. When she looked at him, he was putting his hair up with a hair tie and there was a few strands that would always fall loose no matter how hard she tried. He looked beautiful, she enjoyed seeing all the different sides of him, they often face so much danger which is why they decided they wouldn't tell anyone until they were sure it would last. 

He kneeled onto the mattress and made his way to her, like a predator hunting for his prey and he looked hungry. Like he’d eat her whole. She almost moaned at the thought. When he reached her, he  was hovering above her, mere inches from her lips. 

“May I kiss you?” He asked, even when he was in dominant mode, he always asked her for consent, always made sure she was okay. The respect alone made her love him so much more. She wanted him to do more that kiss her, she wanted him to fuck her so good and then make love to her, the order in which that happened did not matter. 

“Yes, you can kiss me. I hope you plan on fucking me too though,” with that he smiled and smashed his lips to hers, sucking on her bottom lip a little before slipping his tongue in to her mouth. His hands wandered to her breasts, squeezing her nipples roughly which made her moan into his mouth and arch her back. His hand continued his journey down her body and between her legs, she was so sensitive and swollen there. He rubbed in circles then in 8 rotation movements. And with two fingers he entered her, he started pumping the digits in and out of her. She began moaning, her hips trying to meet his fingers with each thrust. 

After a few moments of fingering her, on the brink of her orgasm, he stopped. He slid his fingers out and she clenched around the absence of his fingers. He brought his fingers to his mouth and sucked them, tasting her while making direct eye contact. He smirked, he planned on edging her for while before letting her finish. 

“Please Cisco, I was so close,” she pleaded. Aching to finish the job herself. 

“No baby girl you’re not allowed to cum until I say so, understand?”

“Yes, sir, “ she conceded. He placed one more kiss on her lips before moving down her body, leaving a trail of kisses as he made his way between her legs. Then he started sucking and licking and tonguing her entrance, He could feel her start to clench around him and so he stopped. Again. He robbed her from completion again, he kissed her thighs as he sat up on his knees. He unbuckled his belt and undid his pants. He stood up pulling the last remaining clothing off. He was standing there in all his glory. He pulled a condom from his wallet and gave himself a few pumps until he was hard enough to put the condom off. 

When he was ready he climbed back to her rubbing himself at her entrance, to which she moaned. He kissed her and pushed his way inside of her, they both moaned, he stretched her so well, he waited a bit to let her adjust and then began to move slowly, in and out of her. Her legs were wrapped around his waist trying to meet each thrust. He kissed her harder as he started to speed up, hitting the spot that made her go wild. 

He then slowed and came to a stop as she came close once again and came to a halt. She huffed in frustration, but then Cisco moved to his knees whilst still inside her, she was clenching and unclenching around him which almost made his control waver. He lifter her legs to be on either side of his neck and he put a pillow under her bum so she was comfortable. He held her legs together and started to thrust into her deeper and harder than before, she was screaming in pleasure, which made Cisco glad he had sound proofed the room. 

¨Papi, please let me cum. I´ll be a good girl. Daddy please,¨ she recited like a prayer, she wasn´t sure she could prolong her orgasm if she tried. He was fucking her so good. 

¨Cum now baby girl,¨ he demanded and she experienced the strongest orgasm she´d ever had. The man was Gandalf at making her cum. How he learned all of these techniques was beyond her. As she rode the high down, he continued to thrust until he came not too long after she had finished. He pulled out, he cum slipping out of her lips. He slowly lowered her legs down and went down on her, lapping up her juices, cleaning her, and sucking her sensitive clit, she didn´t think it was possible, but she ended up coming again for the second time. 

He cuddled her and she came down another high, panting. “I’m glad I was being a bad girl today.” She said with a laugh.

-A few days later-

Y/n was hanging with the gang in the main control area, laughing and joking around with Barry and Caitlin. Cisco walks into the room, strolls over to her, mumbling something like “Fuck it” and spins her to him and kisses her in front of everyone, she kisses him back on instinct. After a moment, he pulls away and looks around the room and says, “She’s mine.” then he struts out  back to his lab. 

“I knew it! Barry you owe me $100.” Caitlin said excitedly while clapping. 

Y/N just sits there in shock of what happened. “Wait you guys had a bet going?” She exclaimed.

-Fin-

[thepeakyfckingblinders]

White Lies || Thomas Shelby x reader

⤠ MASTERLIST⤟

Anon requested: “ Can you do 10&13 with tommy please? I obsessed with your writing” (Thank you honey, hope this won’t let you down ♡ )

Summary: n.10 & 13 from prompt list: “I swear to God, I’ll blind you” + “Don’t leave” Warnings: swearing, May Carleton insert, basically jealous reader, Tommy being the absolute cocky bastard he always is, me loving him even more

Author’s notes:

Behind each one of these works there are sleepless nights and something really close to multiple mental breakdowns, so, please, take a minute to send me a message about it, I need actual feedbacks to understand how to improve my skills and grow ♡

So, May appears in this piece too, even if she’s never been his lover.   Is Tommy Shelby going to generate a mass murder with his cock? Maybe.

I’m sorry for being this late, but I’ve been really busy in the past days and writing is never just easy, it demands concentration and effort, plus I don’t want you to be disappointed, so I’m always extra accurate while working. I hope this is worth the wait!

If you want to be added to my tag list, please, directly message me

I’m Italian, English isn’t my first language, so I apologize for every possible mistake I made. Also, please, help me improve my writing by telling me if there’s something wrong

ENJOY!

Your sugar paper dress in lace and tulle gracefully fluttered in the wind, as you walked towards the Garrison, head up, a kind smile on your face and your right arm firmly placed on John’s left one.  That same morning, Tommy’s new horse had won his third race in a row, for which reason the Shelbys had decided to have a little party at their pub, so that they could celebrate those amazing successes with their friends and closest fellows from Birmingham, seizing, at the same time, the opportunity to show to the whole town how the family was getting more and more powerful. Therefore, Finn, Michael and John were now escorting you and Polly to the tavern, where the rest of the Peaky Blinders had already got the festivities started. “If you ever get tired of Tommy, keep in mind that I’m here waiting for you, darling” The middle brother playfully whispered those flirty words into your ear, even though he was truly enchanted by the way you looked that night; you immediately glimpsed in his direction, seeing him keep an alluring smirk on his wonderful face and a toothpick held between his rose lips, just like always. A genuine chuckle spilled from your mouth because of his joke, a slight blush instantly covering your sweet face, while your lips promptly left a noisy kiss on his cheek. “Don’t worry about him, Johnny, we can keep it as our little secret” You blinked at him, still giggling out loud, as you entered the Garrison arm in arm, finding a whole crowd of half-drunk people joyfully cheering for the increasing greatness and fortune of the Shelby Brothers Limited. “And that’s Thomas’s definition of small refreshment?” Polly’s usual sarcastic tone prickly referred to the massive amount of guests your fiancé had apparently invited; she lit a cigarette, carelessly throwing the used match on the floor, before her free forearm fondly stretched out to Michael, in a silent invitation to accompany her towards the table where Arthur had already made himself comfortable. Finn, on the other hand, immediately spotted Isaiah amidst the throng, for it took him a scant moment to literally run in his direction, eager as he was to finally spend a night out with his best mate, forgetting about work for a while. “Would you mind helping me find your perennially busy brother, mh?” You asked John, since you were now alone, standing at the entrance like two complete idiots, withouth a clue about what to do next. “Why don’t you come home with me instead?” His eyebrows quickly raised and lowered several times, in an intentionally droll attempt to make that indecent proposal sound tempting, his usual cocky smile never leaving his face. “Oh, shut up now!” you heartily laughed, jokingly punching his shoulder in the process “Let’s just find him, and then you’ll look for a pretty girl to dance with”

“No need to look for girls, love, they throw themselves at me” Your almost-brother-in-law defiantly stated that, while adjusting his houndstooth suit in one swift move, his large shoulders lifted along with his lower lip, giving life to an expression of pure smugness, which esponentially boosted when he found his way to the middle of the pub, performing his usual, cheeky, extremely bold walk. John’s lean and solid body shielded yours as you passed through that enormous amount of people, until you eventually reached for the cluttered counter; your watchful eye immediately caught Tommy’s figure standing with his back turned, a loving grin inadvertently springing upon your red lips, for he had left early that morning without waking you up, and, although it may seem corny, you had shamelessly missed him. Nevertheless, your jaw nearly dropped when, taking a few more steps in his direction, a beautiful woman entered your line of sight: she was talking to him, her clearly infatuated stare burning with desire, one of her palms randily caressing his bony cheek, but the worst part was that Thomas didn’t make a single move to stop her, he just stood there, listening to what she was saying, letting her pet his face. “Oh, fucking hell” John muttered, foreseeing a catastrophic epilogue to that risky situation, indeed, he was perfectly aware that you had no idea of who May was, moreover he could plainly tell she was without a doubt attracted to his brother, which meant no good, considering that you were in the same country as her. Still, before he had the chance to stop you from doing anything, you had already covered the gap between you and them, approaching your fiancé and heavily tapping on his shoulder covered by an elegant black jacket.

Tom’s icy eyes imperceptibly widened as he turned to you and realized how misunderstandable that scene could look; however, within a fraction of a second, he composed himself and regained all of his customary confidence, curving his mouth into an impertinent smirk and placing a hand behind your back, so to guide you in front of the mysterious lady. “Oh, you must be y/n, Tommy’s told me a lot about you! I’m May, May Carleton” Her falsely excited voice brusted out, preceding both of you, and that alone could’ve been enough to set you off, you were aching to ruthlessly punch her in the face, right there and then, yet your strong common sense led you to simply send her a long, eloquent death glare. “Well, he didn’t tell me anything about you, not a word” Perceptible hostility towards that woman infected your tone, still, while you spat that rancorous reply, your killer attention was utterly focused on Thomas, who, for his part, kept looking at you with amusement, blatantly revelling in your jealous little scene. “I didn’t have a chance to” His husky voice nonchalantly spilled from his full lips, whereon he was unchastely sliding a cigarette filter, his piercing black pupils continued to defiantly nail yours as he aimed to provoke you with that silly, senseless remark. Teeth sinking into the warm flesh of your inner cheek, while you tried your best to avoid a beastly outburst in front of everyone; sadly, hardly any moment later, May unwisely decided to throw more salt on your already stinging wounds. “How funny, I’ve been training your horses for three months now” a galling laugh of mockery eurpted from her throat and, once she was sure she had your attention, you noticed raw mischief twinkling in her brown irises “With excellent results, I might add”

She raised the glass of champagne she was holding, along with a hint of her head in Tommy’s direction, inviting him to make a toast to their incredible series of victories; a shrill tinkle filled your ears when his crystal cup joined hers, almost making your skin crawl, you watched speechless and powerless as a seductive expression deliberately contaminated his stunning features. “Obviously. Nothing but the best for my horses”

You just couldn’t believe your eyes, nor your ears; an alarming amount of emotions assaulting your defenseless mind, as you eventually figured out how many lies he had been feeding you during those past months. Soon after he had brought his first mare at the auction, Tommy specifically talked to you about how many expectations and resources he had placed on that brand new project, to the point of actually enlisting an expensive horse trainer, one of their comrades from France, a man they could trust, he did say. Your brain franticly reviewed all of the episodes in which he had called you to inform that he would’ve been late, for he had to stop by the stables in order to check on his beasts; a grievous boulder growing inside your chest, brutally crushing your heart, at the very thought of what could’ve effectively happened in those evenings, your breathing sharply stopped for endless instants, until you regained control of your body, blinking a few times to stop the world from spinning around you. Not a single world escaped your mouth, you only looked at them for one last time, before you hastened to turn tail and run away from that obnoxious situation. Only then, Thomas factually realized he’d gone too far with you, his vigilant stare followed your silhouette quickly moving amidst that mob of drunken yokels, while he briefly took leave of May, without even glimpsing at her once. Pushing and kicking his way through the crowd, he reached for you when you were practically one step away from the main door.

“C’mon, y/n, wait! Hey, don’t leave” Tom delicately grabbed your forearm in an attempt to hold you back, but, as soon as you saw him touching you, a calamitous rage exploded in your belly, leading you to violently yank your arm away. “Take your hands off me, or I swear to God, I’ll bind you with your own fucking cap!” Eyelids squeezing with autentic ire as you snarled in his face, fiercely smacking his hand several times and managing to get out of his grasp; yet, when you tried to leave the pub afresh, his imposing frame promptly interposed between you and the exit, his left palm firmly leaning against the jamb, so to cover the whole open space and preclude you every possibility to find your way out. “Get out of the fucking way, I said!” Frustration filled your yells, you had recourse to all your strength in a restless effort to shove him off, continuing to insult him and punch his chest, still your blows felt like nothing more than tickling to him. Thomas rolled his orbs and, at the same time, raised both his eyebrows, in a plan expression of his nuisance. “I think you’re being a bit overdramatic, love” Thomas was perfectly aware that he was being a total asshole, afterall, he had never even thought of May in such a way, but, for some strange reason, he wanted to tease you that night, he wanted to see you detonate. His imperturbable tone, together with his absurd words, totally made you lose your temper, you sensed your knuckles itching to crash with his perfect jaw, again and again and again. “Overdramatic?!” your voice raising of a couple octaves “You bloody bastard! You lied to me, God only knows what the hell’s been going on between you and that bitch. What’s more, you let her fucking flirt with you, in front of me!” Hot tears were now forming in your eyes while you kept shouting till you felt your throat hurt, Tommy simply kept watching you, not daring to pronounce a single syllable, but never changing his stoic countenance, nor moving from the doorway. “You were flirting back, letting her touch you that way, you fucking humiliated me, Thomas! In my place, you would’ve killed any man, without even thinking ‘bout it!” Tom’s look somehow softened as he observed your features contract with anger and sorrow, he knew he had unnecessarily and foolishly hurt you, he only was too proud to say it out loud; so, he kept his mouth shut and just came closer to you, carefully attempting to stroke your shoulders with tenderness. Nevertheless, you were too full of wrath and delusion to let him make it up to you that easily: actually, you desperately needed to cry, your cheeks were flushing with resentment, blind choler streaming in your veins. And, suddenly, a dull smack resounded in your and his ears. You slapped him so hard, that his head automatically tilted in the opposite direction, leaving both you and him speechless for a full minute; Thomas remained in that forced position, frozen, without going back to face you, consequently giving you the opportunity to finally pull him aside. “You don’t fuck with me, Mr. Shelby” That was all that you hissed, then leaving the Garrison and not looking back.

tag list:  @spidey-pal, @shadow-of-wonder, @mclfoybaby, @peachlle, @livvtheangel, @myjbphase, @namelesslosers, @crazyonesarethebest

[what-is-your-plan-today]

CSI Rogers and Barnes: The Serious Cereal Serial Killer Episode 16: Is This Thing Rolling...

Co-written with @icanfeelastormbrewing​

Part 2

Warnings: Bad Language words.

Please read Part 1 first.

“I’m not trying that on, you seen the price tag?” Bucky glared at Katie who narrowed he eyes as she held up the Midnight Blue Soho Double Breasted wool suit.

“You are so trying it on Barnes, you’ll look amazing in it.” She insisted. “Trust me, Sam will love it”

“Sam can wear it if he loves it.” Bucky shook his head. “Doll face, it’s almost five hundred bucks!”

“It’s a Paul Smith” she shrugged “You want quality, you gotta pay. Trust me, a good suit is an investment Bucky.”

Bucky considered this for a moment before he cocked his head and a teasing grin spread across his face “Yeah, I suppose. And I can always use it for the next wedding.”

“You’re not getting married in that.” Katie shook her head. “You need a tux.”

“I’m not getting married, you are.” He looked at her and she rolled her eyes, well used to his constant teasing about he and Steve’s future by now.

“Just try on the goddamned suit.”

“Cranky much?” he mumbled.

“May I remind you that I am hungover and you dragged me out here to help you but you keep bitching about everything I suggest. I should be dying on my sofa indulging in indecent amounts of sugar.” Kate narrowed he eyes at him.

“Technically it’s not your sofa. You might have moved in, but…”

“Err, it belongs to Steve and he belongs to me, ergo it’s mine.”

“You know I could argue against that but if I ask him he will probably say of course I’m hers with that stupid goofy smile on his dumb face.”

Katie smirked “Exactly.” She thrust the suit at him “Go. Try. NOW!”

Bucky took the suit “Vicious.”

Leaving Katie glaring at his back he headed into the changing room and quickly stripped before pulling on the suit. And, in all fairness, he had to hand it to Katie, it was smart, probably the nicest one he has ever worn to be fair. It felt good, decent quality and was tailored exceptionally well. Dare he admit it, he looked pretty damned good. He opened the cubicle door and walked out of the changing room to get Stark’s opinion, finding her stood not far away looking at something on her phone, frowning.

“You ok?” he asked, and she nodded, not raising her head, her eyes fixed on the screen.

“Yeah was just looking at some photos that Tony put of the bachelor party on facebook…” she took a breath and looked at Bucky “How did Steve really get that black eye? I can tell he is lying to me.”

Ah, crap… should have seen that one coming Barnes.

He let out a sigh “Ask him”

“I did, and now I’m asking you.”

He groaned, knowing full well he wasn’t going to get out of this. Fuck you, Steve, fuck you.

“Fine, I’ll tell you if you promise not to freak out.” He looked at Katie who nodded.

“Promise”

“Why don’t I believe you? And if you say anything to Steve I’ll bug your bedroom and post the recordings on my Instastories”

“I said I wouldn’t flip out at you.” She looked at him “That’s all I’m promising, but seeing as we’re making threats, James,  if you don’t tell me I’ll also post a video. The one I got of you singing into a wooden spoon the other morning to The Sound Of Music”

Bucky felt his mouth drop open in horror. “You wouldn’t.”

“Try me bitch.” She shook her head “It will go under the caption of Bucky Von Crapp, seeing as you sounded like a strangled cat.”

Bucky rolled his eyes, as he began to recall the events of the previous night.

“Be your bachelor party next.” Bucky grinned at Steve as they stood at the bar in the compound.

Steve rolled his eyes “Just don’t.”

“Come on punk, you know it ain’t that far-fetched.” Bucky grinned and turned to order their drinks. Just as he was paying he heard Steve muttering to the side of him.

“You gotta be shitting me.”

Frowning he turned to look at Steve, whose jaw was twitching. His nostrils flared as he’s glared at something, or someone. Bucky followed his eyeline and saw a tall, slim, dark haired man dressed in a white button down and black slacks, stood with a group of other guys.

“Am I supposed to know who that is?” he turned back to Steve, a puzzled expression on his face.

“I wish I didn’t know who it is. It’s Ward.” Steve replied simply.

Bucky’s frown deepened as he looked back at the man, then turned once more to Steve “As in Stark’s douchebag ex Ward?”

“In the flesh.”

Bucky took the beer from the bartender with a thanks and looked Ward over again “He looks like a dick.”

Besides him Steve picked up his beer, “If it looks like a dick…” at that point Ward let out a huge laugh, “And sounds like a dick…”

Bucky snorted and watched as a slim, bottle blonde woman in a tight skirt and very revealing top approached Ward. Ward smiled and looped an arm round her, giving her a kiss.

“Wait…is that who he did the dirty on Stark with?” Bucky looked at Steve.

The Captain nodded.

“Talk about a down grade.” Bucky shook his head “She ain’t a patch on your girl Stevie.”

“I know, thanks pal.” Steve gave a small smile then sighed “If Tony sees him….” He glanced around for the man in question to see him stood with a few other members of the Batchelor Party, looking the other way.

“Why is he even in here? I thought Pepper vetoed him after the incident on the karaoke night?” Bucky asked.

“She did. But Happy isn’t working is he? He’s over there drinking with Tony, and Pepper aint here either so… “ Steve took a breath and frowned “I don’t get it, why would he want to come here anyway? And how would he know he’d get in…unless…he found out about the party somehow…”

“Probably just a coincidence.” Bucky offered.

“I don’t believe in coincidences Buck.” Steve looked at him. Bucky held his gaze for a moment before he turned back in Ward’s direction and took a deep breath as he saw the man in question’s eyes flick towards them. A sly grin spread across Ward’s face and he said something to the woman who nodded as he began to head towards them.

“Well, looks like we’re about to find out.” Bucky muttered. Steve turned to him, followed his gaze and the rolled his eyes, turning back to the bar.

Ward stopped at the other side of the bar, placing his order before he remarked. “Rogers.”

Steve didn’t even look at him when he replied “What are you doing here Ward?”

“Same as you, having a good time with some friends.” He gestured back to the group he had been with “ I see it’s Tony’s bachelor party. Pepper, I presume?”

Steve continued to ignore him.

“Give him my regards.”

At that, Steve turned his head in Ward’s direction just long enough to shoot him a filthy look before he picked up his drink.

“Come on Rogers, you still bitter at me?”

Steve swallowed a mouthful of his beer “Bitter isn’t exactly the word I would use” his voice was flat, unemotional, and Bucky knew that was far more dangerous than when he displayed out and out anger.

Time to step in.

“Look, jack ass…” Bucky pulled himself up to his full height and glared at Ward. “Why don’t you go and talk to Tony yourself. Sure he’d be thrilled to see you after what you did to his sister.”

Ward looked down at Bucky, there was a few inches height difference but it didn’t bother the Sergeant in the slightest. He knew if it came to it he could handle his own.

“And you are?” Ward raised his eyebrows.

“Barnes. Sergeant James Barnes.”

“That’s quite a mouthful Sergeant.” Ward mused. “And, speaking of mouthfuls. How’s Katie doing Rogers?”

Steve gripped his beer bottle tighter, an action Bucky saw in the corner of his eye. “Don’t you even mention her name asshole.”

“Are you ever gonna man up and ask her out?” Ward shook his head and at that Steve turned to face him.

“I’m warning you. Stop talking about her.”

At his words a smirk spread across Ward’s face. “Oh my god, you finally did…you two are…you’re together.”

Steve simply stared at him as Bucky grinned, unable to stop himself from speaking the childish insult that had cropped into his head.

“Well I know which one of you got the short straw, I mean you didn’t exactly trade Stark in for a better model did you? Certainly not from the looks of your poor man’s Dolly Parton over there anyway.”

To his delight the smug grin on Ward’s face slipped and a flash of anger was noticeable in his eyes.

Steve lay his a hand on Bucky’s shoulder “Leave it pal, he’s not worth it.”  But it was too late, Ward has bitten back, rising to Bucky’s jibe.

“Don’t you dare talk about my fiancé that way.”

And at that Steve snorted “Fiancé? Seriously?”

Ward glared at him “You got something to say Rogers?”

“Nothing at all.” Steve chuckled. “I wish her luck, she’s gonna need it.” With that he picked up his bottle “Come on Buck.”

Steve turned to go and Bucky looked Ward up and down one more time, smirking, before he to made to follow Steve.

Crisis averted.

“Hey, Rogers? She’s a good fuck isn’t she?”

Crisis re-emerging.

Steve stopped, his shoulders tense and he took a deep breath, but didn’t turn round.

“Does she still do that thing with her nose? You know, just as she’s about to come? That little twich?” Ward continued, letting out a little groan “Man even thinking about that now does things to me…I kinda miss it.”

At that Steve spun around, blazing with anger ready to go for Ward but he was too late. Bucky had already shoved the asshole hard in the chest.

“You’re really starting to piss me off.” He growled as Ward stumbled back a few steps. Bucky clocked that some of his friends were now walking towards them, and was distracted slightly when Ward shoved him back. Bucky then spotted the swing that was coming his way and ducked. Unfortunately Steve, who was stood behind him, took the punch straight to the left side of his face. The Captain staggered a few steps backwards before he righted himself and then drew his right fist back and smacked it straight into Ward’s nose. Ward dropped to the floor, blood billowing down his shirt as Steve shook his fist out, flexing his fingers.

Bucky blinked as Ward lay on the floor, the force of Steve’s punch knocking him out cold and he turned to his friend, raising an eyebrow a little “I had him on the ropes.”

“I know you did.” Steve looked at his friend before he sighed “Suppose we better call 911 so they can get him on a gurney…”

Katie blinked as Bucky finished his tale. “So it was Ward?”

Bucky nodded “You understand why he didn’t want to tell you now, yeah?”

“I guess so” she bit her lip.

“I gotta ask, what the fuck did you ever see in him?” Bucky shook his head “Tony’s right, the guy is a shitweasel.”

She snorted “Trust me, I have no idea.”

Silence fell between the two of them and Bucky took a deep breath “You’re not mad are you?”

“Mad? No, I just think you’re a pussy for dodging the punch and letting Stevie take it Barnes.” She teased, smiling at him.

He shrugged “First time for everything.”

“Suppose I’ll have to thank you both for defending my honour.” She smiled, before her smile turned into a dirty smirk “But your thanks will be a little less physical than Steve’s.”

Bucky groaned “Gross.” He then looked at her, narrowing his eyes “You promised not to tell him I told you.”

“No I promised not to go mad.” She stated.

Bucky looked at her, contemplating her words before he realised that was in fact what she had said. He let out a growl of frustration and shook his head “Whatever.”

At that point they both heard a low whistle and turned to see Sam striding through the men’s boutique towards them.

“Well look at you sergeant Barnes, you’re gonna kill all the ladies”  Sam grinned, raising his hand and extending his finger and thumb in a gun motion “Pew pew!”

Katie turned to Bucky, smiling “Told you he was gonna love it.”

Bucky rolled his eyes before he smirked and turned to Sam “Not the ladies I’m after.” And with that he gave him a quick peck on the lips.

“Aww you two are so cute.” Katie clapped her hands together.

“Piss off Stark” Bucky shot back.

“Now who’s cranky?” she laughed “I tell you you’re cute and you get all pissy!”

Bucky shook his head “I’m gonna get out of this suit.”

“Need any help.” Sam quipped and Katie arched an eyebrow.

“Guess I’ll be right there at the opposite side of the store, pretending I don’t know you two.”

“Now you know how I feel around you and Stevie.” Bucky looked at her.

Katie laughed “You know, the 4 of us should go out again soon.”

“Yeah, but without the element of surprise this time.” Sam shot her and Bucky an accusatory look

“Well it’s all out in the open now. But I kinda miss the sneaking around…it was a little exciting.” Katie shrugged.

“Seriously?” Sam looked at her and she snorted.

“No, it was hell.” And then she grinned “Although the secret sex was good.”

“Tell me more girl.” Sam wiggled his eyebrows and Bucky shook his head.

“Trust me you don’t want to know”

“Oh, trust me I do.”

“And on that note, now I’m really gonna go get changed.” Bucky nodded towards the changing rooms “Then we can drop you home so you can die on the sofa.”

“Actually I need you to drop me off at Momma Rogers’” she said.

“Oooh you having lunch at Sarah’s?” Bucky smiled, knowing full well that he’d end up with an invite when he dropped her off.

“Yup, and I can’t wait.” She said, “I need food. My stomach feels like its eating itself.”

***** Steve walked into his Ma’s, stamping his feet on the mat, ridding his boots of the light dusting of snow he’d picked up since getting out of the car.

“Ma?” he gave a shout as he unwrapped the scarf from round his neck and began to undo his thick, blue quilted Canada Goose jacket. She emerged out of the kitchen into the hall and beamed at him, but her smile slipped and she nodded to his face.

“I thought the days of you coming home with a black eye were well behind you.” She stared at him “What the hell did you do?”

“Things got a bit messy at Tony’s stag party” he shrugged as his mom gently reached up to cup his cheek, tilting his face round so she can see it better. “Don’t fuss ma.”

“Shut up Steven.” Sarah’s voice was as stern as her face “I’m your mother and I’ll fuss if I want to.”

Steve rolled his eyes as her hand dropped back to her side. “Has Star seen this?”

“We live together. Of course she has.”

“Hmm, bet she didn’t like it either.” Sarah shot back “Good job you’re a fast healer. That would look a right mess in the wedding photos next week.”

“He came off worse, trust me.” Steve shrugged off her comment.

“You’re a Captain in the NYPD Steven, fancy brawling in a bar like some school kid.” His mother shook her head.

“I know ma, but…well it had to be done, and I don’t wanna talk about it anymore.” He urged, hoping she would take the hint and drop it but of course she didn’t.

“What do you mean it had to be done?” she pressed and Steve knew he wasn’t going to be able to fob her off so decided to tell her the truth.

“Ward showed up last night at the compound. He was saying vile things about Katie. Really vile”

“So you punched him?” Sarah deadpanned.

“No, I mean yes, after he took a swing at Bucky…look, it’s really not a big deal.”

Sarah narrowed her eyes “I really don’t like that boy. Tony isn’t particularly fond of him either.”

“That’s because he’s a prick.” Steve shrugged.

“Language Steven. But yes, he is a prick. Now, let me get you some tea.”

Steve followed her into the kitchen and she filled the kettle and Steve started rummaging in the fridge for a snack.

“You know it’s funny his name is Grant.”

Steve emerged with a piece of pie that he had found and looked at her “What do you mean?” He took a bite of the pie which turned out to be cherry. It was good.

“I mean you both share the name and couldn’t be more different from one another.” His mother mused.

Steve swallowed his food. “Well, not all the ladies called Sarah are as pretty as you…or make as good a pie as you.”

Sarah smiled at her son, shaking her head. “Shut up Stevie.”

He chuckled “What you making for lunch?” he asked as he checked his watch to see it was almost 1. Kate had text him about 15 minutes ago to say they were leaving the store in Brooklyn City centre so she shouldn’t be far off.

“I take it that means you’re staying then?” Sarah turned to look at him and he grinned, as she shook her head, smiling to herself “Oh, and where is Star by the way?”

“She’s gone shopping with Bucky for a suit. Told her to meet me here if that’s ok? She shouldn’t be long.”

“Of course it’s ok. You’re always welcome here, you know that.”

Steve smiled, swallowed the last of his pie and took a deep breath. He knew that he didn’t have long to do what he needed to do before Katie arrived so he had to do it now. “Er, Ma, before she gets here, I err, I wanted to talk to you.” He said, his hand gently rubbing the back of his neck.

“Yeah?” she asked, not looking at him as she reached for 2 mugs in the cupboard.

“Yeah…” god his palms were sweaty, this shouldn’t be as nerve wracking as it was, it’s his mom…

Sarah turned to face him, a mug still in her right hand and she frowned at the expression on his face. “What is it son? What’s wrong?

“Nothing’s wrong. Quite the opposite actually.” He took another deep, shaky breath and smiled at his mom. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking these last few days especially, and, well, with Katie living with me for the past few months it’s kinda hit home just how good it feels, ya know? And I want it all the time…so before I came here, I went to ask Tony for his blessing to ask Katie to marry me.” At his words he watched the mug slip from his mother’s fingers and it hit the tiled floor and smashed. He had expected her to react in some way but not quite like that. “Ma you ok?” He watched as she brought a trembling hand to her mouth.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m ok Stevie…it’s just…” she blinked “I’ve been waiting for this day to arrive for so long.”

Steve couldn’t resist teasing her “I didn’t say he had given his blessing.”

His mom looked at him, arching an eyebrow “Would it make a difference to you if he hadn’t?”

“Not really.” He shrugged, smiling softly.

“But he has right?” Sarah looked at him “Because I know Howard and Maria would be as happy as I am right now.”

Steve smiled softly. “Yeah. He did. Long Story, but…let’s just say I know Howard would be happy too. But don’t get too excited, she hasn’t said yes yet.”

Sarah scoffed “Oh hush, like she’s gonna say no!”

He smiled softly before he looked at his feet before he glanced back at his mother “So, Ma, I was…I was wondering if I could have you ring?”

Sarah smiled, her eyes shining as she gave a nod “Of course you can son.” She walked towards him and cupped his face “It’s been waiting for you for years.”

Steve smiled, the lump that he had earlier felt in his throat in Tony’s study was back again as he looked at his mom. “You know, there was a time I thought I’d ask you for it for Peggy.”

Sarah shook her head and with a simply shrug stated “I always knew it would be Star’s”

The sentiment hit Steve like a tonne of bricks. First Howard, now his mom. The man he had long since come to regard as a father and his mother had both spotted what he had failed to see for almost a decade.

“Ma…” he managed to choke out, his eyes filling and Sarah smiled.

“I know son. And it makes me so happy to know you’re happy too. Finally.” She leaned up to give him a huge and kissed his cheek. “I’ll be right back.”

She left the kitchen leaving Steve to his own thoughts. He’d had a few doubts, not about marrying Katie, but whether or not it was too soon, but that fact that neither Tony nor his mother had commented on the fact that they’d only technically been together for 3 months. In reality they’d been with one another for much longer, having been best friends and dare he say it, completely and utterly blind to what was in front of them. There wasn’t a woman in the world that would ever come close. He smiled to himself, suddenly his eye didn’t hurt anymore. After speaking to Tony and his ma, and most importantly Howard’s message he felt like he was living his life how he should be. He had everything he has ever wanted, and more.

Sarah walked back into the room and handed him a black velvet ring box. He opened it, smiling as he took in the ring which sat nestled in the ruby red silk inside of the box. It was a large oval shaped diamond, with a pave set slim band. It was delicate enough to suit his girl but also big enough to be flashy, which he knew she wouldn’t care about but he did. There was something in his ego that wanted Katie to have a decent rock on her finger. But the main thing about it was the sentiment. This had belonged to his great-grandmother, then his grandmother, and now his mother, passed down the Roger’s side of the family for generations until it reached his Pa. He looked at his mom, his eyes straying to her ring finger where she still wore her simple wedding band having stopped wearing her engagement ring some 5 years or so after his father had died. When he had asked her why, she’d sighed and simply said that on what would have been their 10th wedding anniversary seeing it had made her sad as it reminded her of the day his father proposed. He hadn’t pushed her to explain, he understood.

“You know it was pretty unheard of to have a diamond that big back when your great-grandfather bought but, well, you know the Rogers side had some connections so to speak.” She said and Steve snorted. He had a feeling if he dug far enough back into his father’s side of the family he would uncover all sorts of Irish-Italian mob members, which was the reason he had never bothered.

“I forgot how pretty it is” Steve smiled “It’s been years since I last saw it. But I remember how I used to play with it when I was little and you held me in your arms when I was sick.” Sarah smiled fondly “Yes you used to like to roll it around my finger.”

“It was soothing.” Steve said, his eyes on the ring as it sparkled in the light of the kitchen. “I liked how it shone under the light.”

“Maybe one day your kids will do the same to Star.” Sarah said, a little suggestion in her tone and Steve looked at her.

“I’d like that Ma.” He confirmed and she took a deep breath.

“Well, I hope it happens soon.” The looked at him pointedly “I’m getting old Steve and I want to be able to run around after my grandkids.”

“Behave!” Steve laughed, shutting the box as he looked at her, smirking “There’s plenty of life in the old dog yet.”

Sarah narrowed her eyes at him “Cheeky.”

At that point they were interrupted by the bell ringing followed by the opening of the door and Katie’s voice drifted up the hallway. “You’re such an ass Barnes, I ain’t rung the bell at this house for 9 and a half years!”

His best friend’s laugh hit his ears “ I like the sound it makes.”

Steve glanced at his mom, panic flooding his system as he curled his hand around the box.

“I’ll go see them in…buy you some time.” She nodded. As she walked out of the kitchen he heard her greeting Katie as he hastily stashed the ring box in his coat pocket where it was hanging on the chair back

“Oh, err…” he heard his mom stop and Bucky spoke.

“Sorry, Mrs R, this is…”

“I know who he is James, Sam worked with Steve long before you came back from Russia. I just didn’t know he was your Sam.”

“Sure am, Mrs Rogers. Nice to see you again.

At that point Katie walked into the Kitchen, pulling off her hat and her scarf, her cheeks pink from the cold. Steve smiled and opened his arms. “Hey sweetheart, you feeling better?”

She stepped into his embrace, taking the soft kiss he offered “Much, be even better still when I’ve eaten.”

He smiled and looked up at Bucky as Katie stepped back to take off her coat. “Get a suit, jerk?”

Bucky dropped his jacket onto a chair “Yeah and a pair of shiny shoes your girl insists are in fashion.”

Katie rolled her eyes “He looks good in it right Sam?”

“He sure does but…”

“Don’t say it Sam!” Bucky warned, and Steve had a feeling he knew what was coming next. And sure enough…

“He looks better out of it.”

Katie looked at Steve “See what I’ve had to put up with? Had to pretend I didn’t know em.”

“Welcome to the grossed out by another couple club, doll face.” Bucky looked at her and she rolled her eyes as Sarah laughed.

“They can’t still be that bad James.”

“The tales I could tell you about these two from the last week or so alone are NOT suitable for a Mom’s ears Mrs R.”

“Shut up Bucky.” Katie and Steve shot back in synergy.

“And they do that. Talk at the same time, say the same thing…” Bucky rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, it’s kinda freaky.” Sam nodded in agreement.

“You can shut up too Sam.” Steve looked at him.

“Hey don’t look at me. I do what he does…” he pointed to Bucky “only slower.”

Bucky glanced around, spotted the smashed mug on the tiles and pointed to it “What happened there?”

Steve looked at the mug, recalling the reason why it had smashed and was desperately trying to think of an excuse when his mom came to the rescue.

“Oh, I was making a tea and along came Stevie with his black eye and my mug slipped.”  She looked at Bucky “By the way, James, Steve says you were involved too. Seems like the pair of you are back to being troublesome teenagers again.” She looked at Sam “I’d keep an eye on your boyfriend Sam. He needs to be put in check some times.”

Steve and Katie share a glance at Sarah’s use of the word boyfriend. It was a term Bucky hadn’t actually used when referring to Sam.

“He’s not my, we’re not…” Bucky trailed off as Sam glared at him.

“Well this is awkward.” He mumbled as Sarah narrowed her eyes

“You can’t lie to me James Barnes. You love this young man.”

And just like that Steve found himself smirking at the fact that someone was ripping into Bucky’s and not his relationship for a change

**** Of course Sarah wouldn’t dream of allowing Bucky and Sam to leave without being fed so the 5 of them ate lunch and then before the two men headed off to spend the rest of the afternoon together. As usual, Sarah insisted that Katie and Steve leave her to clear up so they retired to the living room and curled up on the sofa. The fire was on, giving the room a cosy, warm feel and Katie was sitting snuggled up to Steve, curled under a blanket.

After about 10 minutes her attention turned from the TV to his face. Steve could feel her eyes on him and he turned to face her as she sat up and her fingers gently caressed his eye and cheekbone.

“Does it hurt?” she asked him quietly.

“It did, not anymore.” He replied honestly.

“Good, close your eyes.” She instructed. Steve arched an eyebrow at her but did as he was told. She kisses his eyelid and around his bruise tenderly, her breath warm on his skin “Really Stevie” she took  his face in both her hands and tiled it left, then right “ I’m so jealous of your eyelashes”

He laughed and opened his eyes, his hand running up the outside of her arm where it rest over her shoulder.

“Thank you.” She looked at him

“For what, doll?”

“For punching Ward.”

Steve looked at her, shaking his head “Fucking Bucky.”

“That’s Sam’s job” Katie said making him chuckle a little “Don’t be mad at him, I pushed him into telling me.”

“Should have figured you would.” He shrugged.

“Why’s that?”

“Because you can be persistent when you want to be sweetheart.” He smiled gently. “And you’re welcome. I’d do it again in a shot, you have no idea how good it felt.”

“My hero.” She smiled, “Guess not all superheroes wear capes, huh? Mind you, I’m not sure Superman would go around punching Lois Lane’s ex…”

“For the record, Superman does wear a cape, but that aside, even Superheroes have bad days doll.” Steve shrugged.

“You know, that’s a kid’s bedtime story.” She looked at him and he shot her a cheeky grin.

“I can read it to you tonight if you like?”

“How about you read it to me now Captain?” she arched an eyebrow as he looked down at her. Grinning he sat back against the cushions and pat his leg, gesturing with his head.

“Come here Doll.”

Katie moved so she was straddling him, her hands smoothed up his chest to his shoulder and his fell to her hips. Both of them threw a glance to the door of the room, conscious Sarah was in the kitchen, but there was no sign of her, Steve could hear her humming to a song vaguely in the kitchen and knew she would be in there for a while. He leaned up, pressing his lips to Katie’s, his hands moving and splaying on her back, pulling her closer.

Somehow it felt different to him. It was the first kiss they’d shard since he asked Tony and his ma those two important questions and it was almost like there was more to it, even though he never thought that would be possible. It struck him that the decision he had come to about asking her to share the rest of his life with her meant he would never kiss anyone else but her again but he didn’t care he didn’t want to.

He pushed up against her and she let out a soft sigh at the contact and rocked her hips slightly. An involuntary grunt slipped from his lips and the kiss grew frantic, for the moment the pair of them forgetting where they were until they heard a plate clatter in the kitchen. Both paused, their eyes opening as they looked at one another before they let out a soft laugh each, the ridiculousness of the situation not passing them by. Both in their 30s, acting like a pair of teenagers.

“How long has it been since you made out with a girl in here?” Katie teased.

Steve hesitated, in all honesty he had no idea. It had been a long time. “Erm, maybe 20 years, a little less?” he shrugged and Katie frowned.

“What, you mean you and Peggy didn’t…”

Steve shook his head “It wasn’t really something she would have done. She was too…proper I suppose is the word.”

Katie cocked her head to one side as if she was considering something before she shrugged “Her loss.”

“Can we not talk about her doll?” Steve said gently. He really didn’t want to think about anything like that. His hands moves and slid up and down the outside of her thighs and he smiled “It’s you and me now. No Peggy, no Ward…and I intend on keeping it that way till the end of the line.”

Katie smiled and her hands moved up to cup his cheeks, fingers scratching in his beard. “I love you Captain.”

Steve leaned up pressing his lips to hers gently before he pulled back, sliding his nose along hers as he whispered to her softly “Love you too doll.”

[onisiondrama]

"The Onision Coverup Exposed (Onision Tells All)" April 9, 2021, Speaks - Summary Part 3

James says in the past he was rude to people to keep them away from him and not attracted to him. He says when he worked at a daycare they went to a beach and the creepy ass girls were grabbing his shirt. They kept following him so he escaped them by taking off his button off shirt, he had a white shirt underneath, and he ran away. He says no one did anything to help him. He says he did a collaboration in Yakima and he slept in the car because he didn't want to be #metoo'd. He says no one talks about how paranoid he was.

James says there was a girl on Twitter who said she wanted him to die, but now she's on good terms with him. Someone asks who and he says Jessica. He says she was in Yakima and apparently she was one of the people who knocked on his car door when he was trying to sleep in the freezing SUV and he ignored her. McFly says she did that because Billy dared her. She says Billy knocked too, but he was naked. James says in 10 years Billy's going to be on a registered sex offender list for public indecency. He says it's funny he did that, but he could get into trouble.

James says when he was 17 or 18 his ex-sister-in-law and her friend tried to pull his pants off. They were playing on swings at a park and they tried to pull them off. They were 3 years younger than him. He climbed to the top of a basketball hoop to get away. He says nobody's going to talk about that. He says he lives his life avoiding this shit, but it still found them. He says he doesn't know why people try to pull his pants off or make him make them avoid him as much as possible.

James says no one mentions he was dressed as the Joker and she (Shiloh) was dressed as Harley Quinn, who the Joker is famous for being abusive towards. (He's talking about the candy corn clip.) He says they uploaded it and at the time everyone understood it was a joke. James says Shiloh can look at that and convince herself it wasn't a skit. (She did say it was a skit. She basically said it was an extra improv clip after a skit, but his words were underhanded.)

James says he saw someone Tweet that he dragged his girlfriend (Shiloh) in the other room, shaved her head, then went back to sleeping with her. He asks how that would occur? He says it's described as non-consensual, but back then she said it was her choice. He says he shaved her head because she wanted to be part of a prank video. They did a lot of fake pranks. She wanted to look like Skrillex, but her hair was so poofy it looked ridiculous, so he asked her if she wanted to shave the rest off. She said yes, so they did it. (Oop. I don't think he ever admitted it was his suggestion before or that he shaved it with her.) He says later on she said it was part of something like a cult. James says she looked stupid as fuck and he was trying to help her out because her head was shaved on one side and the other side was like a huge ball of hair. He said in a blog she said it felt nice to shave her head and it felt like a new start. (She said the opposite in her blog post. She said she felt depressed and defeminized. She said she guesses she has a "fresh start" with growing her hair.)

James said during the phone conversation, Sarah said part of the upcoming episode she shits on Regina and Shiloh. He's wondering if they are going to cut that out or release it. Everyone agrees they'll probably cut it.

James says he thinks Netflix is going to approach him to get the proper side of the story because they made Tiger King and no one knew who he was. He thinks they will get the full side of the story and Discovery+'s credibility will be demolished. He says at that point he might be able to get a lawyer and get significant compensation for what was done. He says he had obvious damages done by the false narrative. He says he would work with Netflix or Hulu. He says when people tell him to work with Discovery+, he tells them how badly they already take him out of context. If he says "yes," they'll put that after anything that will make him look bad. He says he would hold up a "fuck you" sign and instead of answering their questions, he would establish his own questions so they can't edit out of context. He says it's crazy people can be supportive of the doc when they know it's malicious. Like selling the concept of the documentary being sold and the people being outraged it was sold because they don't want their stories told. Sarah said she didn't want to be in the doc, but now she changed and wants to be in it because they didn't tell the right story.

James says he asked Sarah if anyone was paid to be on the show and she said "not to be interviewed." He asked if they were paid to be associated with the show and she said she can't answer that question. He says she told him she's pre-med in college and he said congratulations. He says she laughed and bragged that "I have enough money now to put a down payment on a house" during the call. He says he was thinking if she's a pre-med student, she doesn't have a job and last year in a livestream she said there was no point in him suing him because she had no money. So where did the money come from?

A fan tells him he should sue for defamation. James says find him a lawyer that is willing to receive hundreds to thousands of negative reviews for representing him. Someone jokes he could wait for them to get their license, but they're in Canada. James jokes back and says they're hired and they'll get 90% of the winnings. He said the other 10% goes to troll accounts to comment "told you so." He says the money isn't important to him. He says everyone is online to get attention so it's not a mystery who people would make up bullshit. He says you don't have to believe him that they're shitty, they call each other shitty.

James says he got no credit for calling out Shane after he was canceled. Only Keemstar gave him credit.

Someone says Creepshow Art is not a reliable source for information. James agrees and says he's had extensive conversations with her. The person says Creepshow did credit him for the Shane stuff. James says Creepshow said "if only Chris Hansen didn't fuck up the laptop." James says Chris Hansen knew nothing was on the laptop. He says the laptop was sold to Sarah for $200. It didn't belong to him and he didn't have an account on it. Nothing came of it because there was nothing on it. James says in their call, she said she didn't lie about anything. He said what about you calling Kai a predator when you know he's not one and she sat there in silence with no counterargument. He says if you misrepresent someone and make them look like a predator to get back at him, that's lying.

He says Sarah acted like people were credible after acting like they were full of shit in texts.

Someone asks why James responds to people on the internet when they're out to get him? Like last time they were in VC he responded to an email. James asked if not responding worked for Shane? Kai initially threatened to divorce him if he spoke out, so he tried staying silent. When he dropped the facts people thought he made sense, then they turned back. James relies on his consistent statements.

James predicts when Shane comes back he'll be celebrated because he gets good views. He says people like David Dobrik are so big they're untouchable.

James says he can't watch Shane's videos because he can't watch long form content.

James says he thinks people who participate in cancel culture are either making money off of it or they have something to hide.

James ends the call because he was getting a phone call.

[a-yarn-of-purple-prose]

The pandemical isolation is getting to me in a new and improved way lately. I'll put a break here in case you don't want to read about someone else's sex life (or lack thereof).

I've been - well there is no other way to put it - I've been horny for the last month or so. Now, this isn't exactly an unknown phenomena. I'm ace but I'm not dead inside, I have a libido and I enjoy sex, it's just that I happen to be all but incapable of casual sex with strangers.

When you remove physical attraction from the equation, sexual interest requires more trust and curiosity than just finding someone's ass Neat*. When I fuck someone, it's because I want to see how that one person looks in ecstasy. That is what's hot to me (that and tying people up, but this fact isn't relevant right now), satisfying that curiosity, feeling the intimacy, being let onto that big secret people will only share with those they choose. So, without the possibility of approaching a person, making a connection and getting curious about them, I also can't really fuck anyone. It just doesn't happens.

So when I'm in the state I am right now,

[because this has happened before, of course, it might be hormonal or a side-effect of coming out of a depressive episode (possibly both), but it has happened and I've done many regrettable things while in this state.]

specifically, because of said need for connection, I always end up doing something I'll regret when I'm feeling less hormonal.

I'll find myself into a relationship because I just needed to fuck this one person, I'll make out with friends (and sometimes acquire a boyfriend, sometimes ruin the relationship, sometimes just get a stern talk-to about how I shouldn't Do These Things To Other People), I'll bump into This Guy and go for a drink and catch up and jump into his bed even though I shouldn't because he's horrible and I know it (and knowing it is why I do it. Honestly, never had a good fuck with that guy, he's always too nervous, so I guess I keep trying?).

I'm sure a lot of these were ADHD acting up as well. When you're not used to having to control something it gets harder to notice it going out of control.

Anyway, I haven't had an episode like this in almost a decade. Ten years. I had already forgotten about the "my whole skin is on fire and will burst into flames if an Authorized Person touches me" feeling. I had forgotten about sexual dreams.

And have I mentioned the pandemic?

I can't just go hit up someone with an indecent proposal.

Even if I can chat up someone to start the process that eventually leads into sexual curiosity, I can't very well go fuck someone in the middle of a pandemic.

So I'm suffering in silence and wondering if this is how all those allosexual people in my timelines feel all the time, the reason why people drop into DMs offering nudes, the thinking behind those thirst traps.

This is hell. I want out.

* Terribly sorry is this is a bad definition of attraction. This is not something I truly understand, which is why I went for the joke.

[generaldisdainn]

Housewarming

Pairing: Kristanna

Rating: MA (18+ only please!!!)

Summary: Anna and Kristoff move into a house together and make it their mission to have sex in as many places in their new home as possible. (whoops it’s basically pwp)

AO3 Link

Previous chapter

Chapter 2

Anna was wearing one of Kristoff’s t-shirts. It fell past her knees almost like a dress. Even before they lived together, Anna always had one of his t-shirts handy so she could slip it on if she wanted to feel closer to him. Kristoff was wearing boxers, soft thighs giving way to toned legs that were covered in part by long socks. Anna leaned herself against his bare chest, hands stroking the softness of his middle section. The way it poked out over the waistband of his boxers made Anna want to rest her face there and plant little kisses all over it.

At the moment, though, she was too busy peering over at the checklist pulled up on Kristoff’s phone.

Places to have sex in!!!!!!!!!!

The bed

It had seemed like the obvious first choice for their “have sex on every surface in the house” plan. Their bed frame had arrived that morning, and after a bitch of a time putting it together, they had finally set up their mattress and pillows, meaning that tonight, they would be sleeping on a real bed together.

“Fuck,” Kristoff said suddenly, throwing his head against the back of the couch.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Anna asked, running a comforting hand through his shaggy, blond locks.

“Nothing’s wrong,” he began. “Writing this list is just making me horny.” Their list at this point consisted of about 10 different places they could fuck in their new home.

“Oh,” Anna said with a chuckle. “We could always get started now,” she offered.

“No, it’s okay. The Chinese food is almost here and we already have Netflix pulled up. Besides, I like the tension,” Kristoff added, tugging delicately at Anna’s ear with his teeth. She shuddered.

Their food came within the next couple of minutes, and they ate as they watched an episode of a sitcom they had been going through together. Kristoff fed her a bite of his chicken with his chopsticks and he laughed when Anna dropped some of her rice. They finished their dinner quickly, and Anna found herself all tangled up in Kristoff. One of her arms was draped over his shoulders and her legs rested atop his. His fingers played with her hair, absentmindedly twirling the locks around while they watched. Delicate fingers crept up Kristoff’s thigh and large hands pulled Anna by the waist so she was closer to him. Anna broke her eyes from the screen to place a tentative kiss at the base of her husband’s neck. Kristoff let out a breathy moan in reply as she sucked at the skin there, his eyes fluttering closed.

“Remember when we had to be careful about leaving hickeys?” Anna chuckled into his neck as she pulled back to look at the small mark that had blossomed there.

“Don’t remind me,” Kristoff groaned. In the beginnings of their relationship, they had to be more careful about marks or acting indecent, what with their conservative families around. Now, however, in the comfort of their own home, they could leave marks wherever and whenever they so desired. “Although sometimes it was fun,” Kristoff remarked. He nudged Anna’s hair off of her shoulder to expose the delicate skin of her neck and returned the favor, suckling gently and smiling at the hitching of her breath. “Since we couldn’t leave hickeys here that just meant I got to leave more on your thighs.”

Anna blushed profusely at that. Despite them having been together for so long, there were certain things he said that still made her stomach drop. Any mention of him ravishing her between her thighs was one of them. Anna brought a hand to his face and brought him into a gentle kiss, lips slotting together with a certain tenderness.

His hand found its way to the small of her back and he held her still against him as their lips moved together in a well-rehearsed dance.

“Do you want to finish this episode?” Kristoff asked as they pulled apart for a moment.

Anna caught her breath and smiled at him. His hair was ruffled and his bottom lip was swollen just a bit from where she had sucked on it. “I kinda stopped paying attention to it,” she admitted.

“It’s okay. So did I.”

Kristoff was silent as he switched off the TV and collected their food to throw away. Anna stood and shifted on her feet as she felt the humming of hot need pulsing through her body. Anna knew that they would be making love in their new bed tonight. The thought excited her. It wasn’t as if they hadn’t made love hundreds of times at this point, but there was something about doing so in their bed in their house together for the first time that felt so new and exhilarating.

Anna watched with careful eyes as he approached her. His strong arms came around her and hoisted her up. Anna let out a slight yelp and Kristoff smiled down at her as he carried her bridal style into their new bedroom.

Laughter bubbled up and spilled out of her throat as he placed her onto the bed and laid down beside her.

“What’s so funny?” he asked.

“Nothing. I’m just really happy.” Sometimes she couldn’t believe how lucky she was. She looked up at him. The way his eyes swam with love and adoration overwhelmed her with affection for the beautiful man she had pledged her life to. “I love you so much.”

Kristoff nuzzled into the top of her head as he pulled her into his chest. He inhaled deeply, taking in the smell of her shampoo. It was a smell he never tired of. It was her. “I love you too,” he stated, almost as if to confirm it to himself. He could hardly believe that he got to make this place a home with the love of his life.

“I just feel so lucky-”

“I’m so lucky-”

They said the words at the same time, laughter overtaking the both of them as the absurdity of what had just happened washed over them.

“Kiss me, you dork,” Anna said through a smile as she pulled Kristoff to her by the collar of his shirt.

They were laying side by side, lips pressed together and mouths moving to some unspoken rhythm. Kristoff ran a hand along Anna’s arm. She cupped his face, letting her fingers trail along the stubble on his jawline.

Kristoff rolled them so she was on her back, her hair splayed out on the pillow behind her like a fiery halo. “Fuck,” he exhaled as he straddled her midsection. “You’re so beautiful.”

Anna looked away for a moment, embarrassed at the sudden compliment.

“Do you even know what you do to me?” Kristoff asked, demanding her attention back on him.

Anna cocked an eyebrow and reached a hand out to grab at his erection that was currently straining uncomfortably against his boxers. “I can guess,” she replied teasingly.

Kristoff swatted her playful hand away.

“I can’t wait to have you inside of me,” Anna cooed.

Kristoff shuddered at her words. “Here.” He motioned to her to sit up and helped her remove his t-shirt. He was suddenly struck by her. He marveled at her soft skin, the way her hips curved delicately and gave way into her supple ass, and the way the small, round peaks of her breasts pebbled against the pads of his fingers.

He snapped out of his trance as lithe hands traced the back of his neck. She pulled him into her, and suddenly he was tumbling, falling in love with her all over again as he found her lips with his own.

He felt her grab at the soft skin of his middle section and anchor herself there. His tongue pushed against the softness of her lips and she beckoned him forward with a gasp. Her hands traced his chest, and she marveled at his wide frame, at the worn softness that made up his back and his pecks.

Kristoff pushed her down onto the bed. Her breasts pressed against the cool skin of his chest and he held her there for a moment, stroking her hair with a gentle hand. When they were first together, he was afraid to hurt her. He had always been deliberate and gentle with his movements. But from years and years of being with her, he had come to learn that sometimes all she wanted was to be held down and made his. He placed his lips to her ear. “What do you want?”

Anna squirmed at the feeling of his hot breath against her.

“What do you want, Anna?”

“You,” she answered, her mind unable to come up with anything else when all she could think was Kristoff.

Kristoff smiled against her, nipping at her ear and letting his lips trail down her neck. He stopped at her breasts, swirling a nipple with his tongue and sucking gently. He felt her back arch against him. She let out a soft cry. Her breath hitched and Kristoff felt it straight in his core, his boxers tenting against his growing erection. He swiped his thumb across her other nipple and she bucked up against him. He trailed gentle kisses down her stomach, stopping to nuzzle at her warm stomach and kiss the freckles beneath her breasts.

“Kristoff,” she breathed, radiating waves of pleasure washing over her each time his lips fluttered against her skin.

“So beautiful,” he mumbled as he reached her thighs. He placed a kiss on the delicate fabric of her panties and chuckled as he was met with the unmistakable feeling of her wetness seeping through. “You’re so wet.”

“You make it hard not to be,” Anna huffed, her words quickly devolving into whimpers as Kristoff pulled the fabric aside and dragged a flattened tongue up her dripping folds. He moaned into her and shuddered as her wetness met his tongue. The taste was so intoxicating. She tasted like a salty-sweet candy, one that he wanted to roll on his tongue and swallow down. He let the fabric cover her back up and she whined, rocking her hips against him.

Her hands found his blonde hair and her fingers tangled themselves within his locks as he teased and licked her thighs and ghosted over the juncture between them. He held her hips down to the bed as he nipped at her. The groan she let out was almost one of frustration.

He inhaled her auburn curls. He could die right there. The scent of her and the sounds of her writhing and gasping above him, of her calling out his name with renewed desperation, it was all too much. He placed kisses on her thighs, sucking eagerly and biting gently, making sure to swirl his tongue to soothe the spots he nipped.

“Are you trying to leave hickeys?” she asked, the hint of a smile in her voice.

“Maybe,” he teased.

She let out another impatient whine. It dissolved what little bit of patience he had left. He needed to taste her. He hooked his fingers in her underwear and pulled them off of her, eager to bury himself in her.

Anna bucked up her hips into his face, trying to find something, anything to grind onto. She was exposed and bare to the world, the cool air of the room around her contrasting starkly with the hotness of his breath. She needed him. She ached for him. She could feel herself dripping, spilling onto their new sheets. She opened her eyes for a moment and found his. He looked up at her from her thighs. They were clamped around his head, the scruff of his stubble chafing against her so delicately. His mouth was poised at her entrance, gentle tongue perched and waiting for her command. He smiled at her.

“Please,” she urged.

Kristoff flattened his tongue against her and lapped upwards, gently, slowly, doing his best to draw out that first lick so that he could hear her cry out in ecstasy.

Anna’s back arched up and her hands fisted the sheets, desperate to find something to pull at as Kristoff continued his gentle assault of her most sacred of places.

He let his tongue run up her folds, collecting her wetness and swallowing it down as his nose prodded at her little bundle of nerves. She tasted like heaven.

“You know,” he began between licks, the words mumbled into her folds. “The Chinese food was good, but I’ve really just been craving this all day.”

Anna’s witty response fell into a sudden cry as he brought her clit into his mouth and sucked gingerly, rolling his tongue against her with practiced precision. Anna sat upright, tugging at his hair and pulling him closer to her. She felt warmth in her stomach, a familiar tingling feeling creeping its way up her body as his tongue danced circles around her wet folds. She could hardly think straight, could hardly register that Kristoff had brought one hand up to fondle her breast as his tongue continued to lap eagerly at her. She fell back down onto the sheets with a broken “fuck” as he used his other hand to slip a finger inside of her. It was followed almost immediately by a second. He crooked his fingers against the slick walls of her heat and she gasped, calling his name out into the room.

“Anna,” he moaned in response, the vibration of her name making her hold a hand to her mouth as she did her best to stifle what would only have been described as a scream.

“We’re not in an apartment anymore.”

“What?”

Kristoff stopped and she whined, eyes closing as she attempted to squeeze her thighs together around his fingers that were nestled within her for some much-needed friction. Kristoff crooked his fingers against the spot inside of her that made her keen and came up to her face. She opened her eyes to look at him and marveled at the flushed color of his cheeks, at the way his pupils were dilated and blown out, and at the glistening of her on his chin.

“Don’t hold back. I want you to make as much noise as you can. It’s just us.”

His fingers inside of her moved slowly enough that Anna was able to reply with an “are you sure?”

Kristoff only nodded and brought his mouth back to where she needed it the most.

Her head fell back, her hands finding hold of his locks once more as he went to work. Obscenities fell from her mouth as he worked, followed by a loud moan. It was one that normally she would bite back for fear of the neighbors hearing, but now that their walls weren’t connected to anyone else’s, she found herself letting out yells of pleasure.

Kristoff groaned in response, the increased volume of her noises making him impossibly harder. He rocked his hips against the bed as he fucked her and did his best to lap up all of the wetness that was pooling from her. He moaned into her and she pulled at his hair as the vibration coursed through her body.

“Kristoff, I’m-”

He brought her clit into his mouth again, his tongue curling around it. His fingers pushed into her pussy as her thighs tightened and shook against his head. He was engulfed in her, his mouth and ears and senses all coated in everything her.

“Fuck, I want you to come, Anna,” he murmured as he felt her tighten, heard the gasp and stutter of her breath that let him know she was close. He had brought her to that point and he wanted, no, he needed, to bring her over the edge.

Anna felt a wave of warmth course over her. She wanted to watch him but it was too much, too good, and her head fell back as she fell over the proverbial edge he had brought her to. Her hips rocked to the steady rhythm of his fingers inside of her. She ground against his mouth and cried out as his tongue lapped at her clit and brought her up and over her orgasm. His other hand pinched her nipple as she rode out her peak, spent and shaking. She felt like she was glowing. Everything within her tingled. Kristoff withdrew his fingers and flicked at her clit on his way out. Anna jolted with the sensation and Kristoff chuckled.

He joined her up on the bed and she watched in awe as he licked her off of his fingers and wiped her juices off of his chin. He nuzzled into her neck and smiled. “I’m so glad we can be as loud as we want now that we don’t have to worry about any stupid neighbors.”

Anna snorted at the memory. During their first week in their previous apartment, their neighbors had knocked on the walls multiple times and cast them dirty looks in the hall before Anna and Kristoff finally got the message that they would have to quiet down. “I didn’t know you liked my noises that much,” she hummed with contentment as he placed a gentle kiss at the base of her neck.

“Are you kidding me? Anna—the taste of you, feeling you move against me, and hearing you like that? It was all so fucking good.”

Anna blushed profusely. Although she had just been taken care of so well, his words already had her feeling eager again. “You know, I think there’s still something we have to take care of,” Anna teased, playing with the waistband of Kristoff’s boxers.

Kristoff swallowed hard as his cock pulsed at the implication of his words.

“Come here,” she beckoned, laying down and pulling Kristoff to her so that he was straddling her shoulders. She pulled down his boxers and chuckled as his cock sprung up to face her. “Is this okay?” she asked.

“Are you kidding? Anna this is—” Kristoff broke off into a moan as Anna swiped her tongue to lap at the bead of precum that threatened to leak out of his erect cock.

She brought him into her mouth and sucked at his shaft, finding a steady rhythm with the bobbing of her head that brought gasps out of him. She grabbed at his ass, holding him and bringing him closer to her as he thrust his hips into her face. When they had first started this kind of thing, Anna was afraid she’d never be able to suck him off without gagging, but she was pleased to find that with some practice, she had gotten used to taking Kristoff’s length in her mouth without issue. She had found the way his cock pulsed within her mouth and the way he grabbed at her head to push her further onto him to be irresistible.

She swirled her tongue at the head of his shaft and Kristoff let out a yell, grabbing at the headboard of the bed as he fucked her face. She brought one hand up to cup and gently squeeze his balls and Kristoff nearly chocked on a moan, his head falling forward to peer at her from where he was above her. He gazed at her with half-hooded eyes as she worked.

“Anna, hold on,” he started. He could feel himself starting to get close already. He had been straining in his boxers for so long from tasting her, but he didn’t want to cum like this. “I- I need to be inside of you,” he stammered.

Anna withdrew his cock from her mouth with a satisfying pop and laid back. “How do you want to do it?” she asked.

“Just like this,” he directed as he placed his hands on either side of her head and lowered himself so that his hips were lined up with hers. “I need to see you."

They locked eyes for a moment, a wide smile breaking out on their faces. “I can’t believe we have a home together,” Anna said suddenly.

“Me neither,” he replied, placing a kiss on her forehead.

Kristoff pushed into her and they both gasped. He felt her walls clench around him.

“I love you so much,” he panted as he found a gentle rhythm in and out of her and brought his face down to meet hers. Their noses touched as he fucked her, gentle nuzzling and whispered gasps escaping their mouths.

“I love you too.”

“I’m not going to last long,” he breathed as he felt her walls clench against him.

Anna silenced him with a kiss. She clawed at his back as he pressed into her with a deliberate passion. “I want you to cum,” she murmured onto his lips, mirroring his words from earlier.

All sense of resolve or desire to drag things out left him in that moment. Kristoff fucked her, pressing her into the mattress and feeling himself start to shake as her moans picked up in pitch and volume.

With a few more thrusts, he was gone, filling her with his warmth and seed and consummating their bed.

Anna moaned and thrashed. Everything felt hot and sweet and she felt full of light as he filled her. Kristoff collapsed on top of her. They were both sweaty and sticky as they held each other there, but they both felt so comfortable.

“This poor bed,” Anna said, breaking the silence between them.

Kristoff raised his head from her chest to look up at her.

“I was just thinking. This bed’s going to have to put up with a lot of that.”

Kristoff snorted with laughter and pulled her into a tender kiss. “You have no idea.”

[marauder-level-chaos]

In A World Like That Ch. 3

Magnus and Alec have been pushed into their TWI roles by a meddling demon who feeds on their happiness. It puts them in a deep sleep and the only way to get out there is to find each other in TWI and fall in love. If they can do that, they will automatically fall out of the magical slumber the demon has placed them under. Otherwise, they fall into an eternal sleep. It’s upto Malec to find their way back to each other. It is set after the TWI episode in the show, so they have met each other once already. Here is the masterlist. My AO3: malecplusotherthings

A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY WRITING PARTNER AND ONE OF THE BEST PEOPLE I HAVE MET ON THIS @thatwinchestergirl67. EVERYBODY GO AND SPAM HER WITH BIRTHDAY WISHES.

Warnings: swearing, TWI characters, angst obviously, some fluff, slight show divergence, suggestive dialogue

Magnus could not stop thinking about the incidents that had occurred at the Institute the night before. He woke up, hoping it had all just been a bad dream. Upon realising that he had in fact frozen and run out on what was probably his only shot with Alexander, he buried his face in his pillow and let out a muffled scream. Great fucking job, Magnus. Trying his best to ignore his thoughts about the piercing blue eyes that he was falling for, he lifted himself off his bed and attempted to get dressed for the day. He set aside a large pot of coffee and began to make himself breakfast. He was thankful that it was a Sunday because he definitely did not have the mental capacity to be at work with Alexander on his mind. Well, he will probably never want to see you again so at least you can’t make a fool out of yourself in front of him twice. Magnus’ attention was soon diverted from his thoughts and his food when his phone began to ring.

“Cat, I know you want me to get coffee with your friends but today is my only day off and I’d much rather stay in.” Magnus complained over the phone.

“Well, I’m not Cat, but I would absolutely love to go grab a coffee with you.” Oh, no. Magnus knew that voice. It was Alec’s.

“Oh um hi, Alexander. I was expecting a call from a friend. I’m sorry.” Magnus heard Alec chuckle on the other end.

“It’s alright, Mags.” Mags?  “I just wanted a chance to talk to you.”

“Oh. You wanna come over later today? I can text you my address.” Magnus said without thinking. He had no idea where this confidence was coming from, but after last night, he was thankful.

“Sounds perfect. I will see you then, sweetheart.” Magnus could most definitely see Alec smirking behind the phone. Did I just invite this man on a date? In a state of extreme panic, he called Catarina, hoping she would pick up. As soon as she did, he screamed.

“Magnus, what have you done now?”

“Alexander.”

“I’m sorry?”

“I mean I didn’t do Alexander….but I may have accidentally asked him out.”

“How do you accidentally ask somebody out? No, wait. I changed my mind. I don’t wanna know.” Cat sighed. “Look, if you’re having second thoughts, just tell him. I’m sure he’ll understand.”

“That’s the thing. I need your help to prepare for the date, not to cancel it.” He could hear Catarina’s voice perk up.

“I may not fully approve of Alec, but I have been waiting to hear you say those words for a very long time. I will be right over.”

Catarina came by almost instantly and made a bee-line for Magnus’ closet. After much deliberation, she pulled out a pair of dark purple pants that Magnus didn’t even know he had and a simple lilac sweater. Catarina had paired them together so effortlessly as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. But to her credit, the outfit she had put together was, in fact, better than possibly anything Magnus had ever worn before. Maybe he should dress like this more often.

“Now for your hair.” Catarina said, putting some sort of gel on his head. Magnus could have sworn that he saw some glitter in there. After what felt like hours, Magnus’ look was complete. He had to admit that he looked better than he ever had before. He smiled, looking at himself in the mirror. He gave Catarina a quick hug.

“Just don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, Magnus.” She warned as she left. Magnus looked over to his watch. Alec would be here any minute. Magnus swiftly hid all the trash under his bed and cleared the dining table. He rushed to the door as he heard the bell go off. You don’t waste any time, do you, Alexander? As Magnus opened the door, he was greeted by a smiling Alec. He was dressed in a comfortable black hoodie and black jeans. In his hands were takeout containers. Magnus couldn’t understand what it was but this casual outfit made him look more handsome than any of his branded clothes ever could. Magnus smiled a little to himself. Alec made his way over to the dining table and set down the food.

“You look really nice, Magnus. Were you going somewhere?” Oh no, this isn’t really a date, is it?

“Uh, yeah.” He could have sworn he saw Alec’s face fell. Did he want me to dress up for him? Magnus quickly dismissed the thought.

“Magnus, look, I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have flirted with you like that. Clearly, it’s not something you are into. It’s just that I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I know I have a reputation of being some sort of a heartbreaker but you, Magnus, have unlocked something in me. Something so new but so fucking exciting.” Magnus stood their speechless, unsure of what he should say. He grabbed a chair and sat opposite Alexander.

“You know I had a plan for my life. I thought I knew what I was doing. But then you came along and threw me off. You confuse me, Alexander. It’s not that I don’t like you flirting with me. It’s just that I’m not sure I’m ready for it. I’m...I’m sorry, Alexander.” Magnus regretted saying those words but between all his work, he certainly didn’t have time for a relationship. And Alec didn’t deserve that. Alec deserved to be with somebody who could make time for him. Somebody who could make him happy.

“I don’t expect you to feel what I feel. I know you’re confused. So am I. But I just want you to know that I will be here if you ever need me.” Alec got up and dusted his hoodie. “Have a good day, Magnus.”

***

Alec woke up early the next morning but stayed in his bed, thinking about the events that had occurred the night before. He could help but feel guilty for putting Magnus on the spot like that. He sighed as he sat straight up and pulled out a piece of paper from the table at the side of his bed. On that paper, in neat and elegant cursive, was the name Magnus Bane. Under that was a phone number, which Alec assumed was Magnus’. Magnus had dropped this behind himself when he rushed out of the Institute the night before. Alec took a deep breath to calm his nerves, picked up the phone and dialed the number. Normally, Alec never felt nervous about calling somebody. Or guilty about flirting with them. He always believed that if somebody didn’t want him, that was their fault. But Magnus had changed all of that. His intense golden eyes made Alec feel so many different things all at once. As he sat daydreaming about those cat-like orbs, he almost didn’t notice when Magnus had picked up the phone.

“Cat, I know you want me to get coffee with your friends but today is my only day off and I’d much rather stay in.” Magnus said before Alec even had the chance to open his mouth.

“Well, I’m not Cat, but I would absolutely love to go grab a coffee with you.” Alec smiled like a thirteen year old school-girl, knowing Magnus won’t be able to see him.

“Oh um hi, Alexander. I was expecting a call from a friend. I’m sorry.” 

“It’s alright, Mags. I just wanted a chance to talk to you.” And also I fucking miss you.

“Oh. You wanna come over later today? I can text you my address.” That caught Alec off guard. He wasn’t expecting Magnus to be forward.

“Sounds perfect. I will see you then, sweetheart.” He replied, trying not to let the excitement in his voice betray his feelings. He lifted himself off the bed and headed to get himself some breakfast and get dressed for the day.

When Alec came out of the shower, he was dressed in an extremely casual outfit - black hoodie and jeans. His hair was a wet sloppy mess, constantly falling in his face.

“You know you should lock your door.” A voice came from behind Alec, causing him to jump. He turned to find his best friend, Simon, grinning at him.

“What the fuck, Si? You can’t just barge into my room like that. I could’ve been...indecent.” Alec said, trying to find the right choice of words.

“I would have been okay with that.”

“Simon! You are committed to my little sister. Why do I need to keep reminding you of that?”

“Not my fault you Lightwoods are so painfully beautiful all the time. Also, Magnus texted you. Said to come over in like an hour.” Simon said, waving Alec’s phone in his face. Alec lunged forward to grab it out of Simon’s hands.

“Don’t touch my things.” He mumbled as he made his way out the door.

Before Alec made his way to Magnus’ he stopped over at a sushi bar. He figured both him and Magnus could use some lunch while they were there. It’s still not a date, Alec. He picked up the food and went over to Magnus’ place. As he climbed the stairs that led to the apartment, he realised that he was still in his hoodie and jeans, not having had the time to change into something with a bit more of a flair. Using the front camera on his phone, he fixed his hair as best he could. He steadied himself and rang the bell.

When Magnus opened the door, Alec’s jaw dropped to the floor. He was dressed in a beautiful purple themed outfit, with glitter in his hair. Alec had never seen Magnus dressed in such a manner. While he absolutely enjoyed a dorky Magnus in his big black glasses, this was certainly a welcome change.

“You look really nice, Magnus. Were you going somewhere?” Alec asked as he set the food down on Magnus’ table.

“Uh, yeah.” Alec’s face fell. But why are you upset, Alec? You knew this wasn’t a date.

“Magnus, look, I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have flirted with you like that. Clearly, it’s not something you are into. It’s just that I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I know I have a reputation of being some sort of a heartbreaker but you, Magnus, have unlocked something in me. Something so new but so fucking exciting.” Alec blurted out, instinctively. The silence he received made him even more anxious. He tried to search Magnus’ face for some kind of response.

“You know I had a plan for my life. I thought I knew what I was doing. But then you came along and threw me off. You confuse me, Alexander. It’s not that I don’t like you flirting with me. It’s just that I’m not sure I’m ready for it. I’m...I’m sorry, Alexander.” Why the fuck does this hurt so much? Alec tried to suppress his feelings. He tried to fight the pain that seemed to have settled in his chest. Alec cared about Magnus. Perhaps more than he would care to admit. He wanted Magnus to be happy. He knew better than to try to coerce Magnus into something he didn’t want.

“I don’t expect you to feel what I feel. I know you’re confused. So am I. But I just want you to know that I will be here if you ever need me. Have a good day, Magnus.”

Malec Taglist (please let me know if you want to be added or removed):

@thatwinchestergirl67 @quickbright @julialightbane @bestieswithmydarkthoughts @plaggherondale

[trensu]

Episode 26: The One where the Rain is Actually the Fandom’s Endless Tears

We start off the episode with the awful reminder that su she exists; it’s terrible, we all hate it

Lwj is the one who reminds us, which makes it both better and worse

At least lwj is looking nice in his pale blue robes

Non-wangxian nonsense happens

Brief moment to admire jc’s fashion 

More non-wangxian stuff happens

Ooooh, now we get to watch jin zixun be an asshole again, but with the bonus of having a little bit of wangxiantics!!

Jz goes to our lan bros and starts talking to them

(how dare he be anywhere near their presence?? YOU ARE UNWORTHY OF BREATHING THE SAME AIR AS HANGUANG-JUN, YOU ASSHOLE)

He tells lxc to take a shot with him even tho everyone and their mother knows lans don’t drink alcohol

Alcohol is Forbidden

But there he goes, peer pressuring the heck out of lxc, like, oh, if you don’t take a shot it’ll be an insult to me and my clan blah blah

And everyone agrees with him?? For some reason??? As if forcing someone everyone knows doesn’t imbibe into taking a shot isn’t rude af??? FUCK YOU JZ

Lxc capitulates way too easily imo and takes the shot

Lwj watches this go down out of the corner of his eye, and when lxc drinks, his eyes flick away (as if ashamed? Disappointed? Idk, but it wasn’t a positive feeling i know i was definitely disappointed)

Then jz goes and does the same to lwj

It’s awful but LET’S TAKE A MOMENT TO ADMIRE LWJ

LWJ looks at the offered drink just long enough to make sure EVERYONE KNOWS HE KNOWS IT’S THERE

AND THEN RETURNS TO GAZING STEADILY FORWARD

like, yes, i’m ignoring you aND I WANT YOU TO KNOW IT

I LOVE YOU HANGUANG-JUN!!!!!!

And just before this becomes a diplomatic incident, we see a hand reach out and take the shot glass from jz!

Wwx: i’ll drink for him. Is that okay?” 

And he downs the shot before anyone can say anything (showing off the lovely expanse of his neck and we all appreciate that or at least I do)!!! He even flips the shot glass upside down to show that he emptied it completely!!!

WWX PULLED AN LWJ-MOVE AND SWOOPED IN TO SAVE HIS SOULMATE FROM HAVING TO SACRIFICE HIS PERSONAL IDEALS

THAT’S ~TRUE LOVE~ BABY

And lwj’s expression, omg. I can’t even describe it?? Awed gratitude bc of the rescue?? Stunned attraction bc of seeing wwx expose his neck so indecently?? I’m totally not projecting that last part, maybe, i think

For real tho, it looks like lwj was walloped with the strength of his love for wwx

As if seeing wwx do that for him gave him an abrupt reminder of how overpoweringly in love he is with him

It’s beautiful

Now there’s a jz vs. wwx showdown

It’s super stressful and Important to the Plot

So we’re glossing over most of it!!

But let's MARVEL how wwx totally owns the jin clan

Jz: you really think you’re so invincible you can overturn the heavens?

Wwx: are you comparing yourself to the heavens? With all due respect, you have a really thick face

Lol, “with all due respect” = 0 respect. Jz you deserve ZERO RESPECT YOU ASSHOLE

Wwx is putting these gold-robed bastards on the spot and it’s AAMAAAAZZING

Wwx: do you think that now that the Evil Wens are gone, the Jin clan should naturally take over? So that everything should be given to you and everyone should follow your orders??

I LOVE MY BOY. LOOK AT MY SUNSHINE BOY BURN THE FUCK OUT THESE DOUCHEBAGS

HE’S ALL “WHY ARE YOU BOOING ME?? I’M RIGHT”

BECAUSE HE IS. HE IS RIGHT.

Lwj says his name worriedly here; he knows wwx is getting himself into some deep trouble here

More Plotty Confrontation happens…

And then wwx loses his patience, and gets ready to draw his demon flute

Everyone in the banquet hall jumps to their feet and readies their swords bc they are scared shitless. Wwx doesn’t even acknowledge them. His focus is all on jz

Wwx: if i kill you today, won’t it be justified by your standards?

(for the viewers keeping track at home, that brings the score to wwx = 3, jin clan = 0)

LOOK AT MY BOY GO

Lwj: Wei Ying!

Lwj calls him practically in a panic

I mean, he only says his name slightly more forcefully than usual, but in lwj-speak that means PANIC

Ahhhh, i LOVE this next line. It's a great line. I mean, it’s an absolute terrible line for wwx’s future wellbeing, BUT STILL

Wwx: if I, wei wuxian, want to kill someone, who can stop me? Who dares to stop me?

HE IS FURIOUS

RESENTMENT IS FLARING EVERYWHERE

Lwj: wei ying, put down the demon flute!!

He’s so worried for his soulmate!!!!

wwx starts a countdown to get the info he wants

🎶IT’S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN~!🎶 Sorry sorry, not appropriate but i’m stressed, LET ME HAVE THIS

Wwx: everyone knows i’m not patient. You have until the count of three…

He makes it to two until jz gives in and finally finally tells wwx the info he’s looking for (aka where the wen labor camp is)

Wwx: why didn’t you say so earlier?

Lol, he says it all calm and easy and leaves the banquet hall with a confident swagger (which brings the final score to wwx = 5, jin clan = 0 AND THE CROWD GOES WILD, AHHHHH!!)

BUT you can see on his face that he knows how badly he handled this situation

He knows he’s just screwed himself over

Depressing Plot Things happen

So lets see lwj defend his soulmate to make us feel better!

Jgy: wwx is too impulsive. How could he say such things in front of the gentries

He says that to lxc, trying to turn him against wwx!! That scummy bastard!!!

Lwj: isn’t what he said right?

I LOVE YOU HANGUANG-JUN

Jgy: well, yeah, i guess, but he can’t just say that to everyone’s faces!!

Lxc: wwx’s temperament has changed a lot recently

LXC I AM ASHAMED TO KNOW YOU. YOU GIVE IN LIKE A WET PAPER TOWEL. GROW A SPINE (i still love you tho)

Lwj bows to lxc right after that and lxc dismisses him from the banquet hall with a sad smile

Lxc: go and do your best

BC HE KNOWS HIS LITTLE BROTHER

HE KNOWS HOW MUCH LWJ LOVES WWX AND HOW MUCH HE WANTS TO PROTECT HIM

MORE DEPRESSING PLOT THINGS HAPPEN

Like, Super Depressing

Like, “violating Geneva Conventions” Depressing

It’s really really awful

Because now we’re at a labor camp

We get to see wq lose her mind as she finds her little brother’s body

AND BECAUSE I VALUE MY SANITY WE’RE NOT GONNA GO INTO THAT ANY MORE 

I HATE THIS. I HATE THIS SO MUCH

THEY DIDN’T DESERVE THIS

THEY’RE GOOD PEOPLE. WHY DID THIS HAPPEN TO THEM

*SOBBING*

WEN NING STILL HAD THE PROTECTIVE CHARM WWX GAVE HIM IN HIS HAAAANDDD

WHY IS EVERYTHING TERRIBLE ALL THE TIME

We do get a badass scene where wwx STEADILY WALKS BACK THROUGH THE CAMP PLAYING HIS DEMON FLUTE TO CONFRONT THE JIN GUARDS

CALMLY CONTROLLING ALL THAT RESENTFUL ENERGY THAT’S JUST POURING OFF OF HIM

The jin guards are begging for their lives and still have the gall to lie about killing their prisoners??

“Do you really think I can’t tell that you’re lying?”

Wwx is so angry here, he isn’t even raising his voice

Some idiot here has the nerve to remind wwx that his clan and their clan are allies

And wwx’s all “bold of you to assume i care about clan politics”

Throughout it all we see resentment curling and misting around his shoulders

God damn, it looks so cool

“Since you won’t admit to it, i’ll let wen ning point it out himself”

AND THE GHOST GENERAL MAKES HIS FIRST APPEARANCE IN HISTORY BY SLAMMING INTO THE SCENE LIKE A BOSS

LOOK AT MY DARLING ZOMBIE BOY GO, TOSSING THOSE JIN BASTARDS AROUND LIKE NOTHING

Stuff happens and those jin guards make a run for it

Outside the camp we see lwj walking with his umbrella in the rain and he knocks one of the jin bastards back with his sheathed bichen and demands to know what happened

While he’s getting the rundown, wwx gathers up the wen prisoners and mounts them on horses to flee

THERE’S NO TURNING BACK FROM HERE

OH GOD MY HEART

They’re riding off and SUDDENLY WE SEE THEM RUN INTO LWJ

LWJ WHO IS STANDING THERE ALL ALONE IN THE RAIN WITH HIS UMBRELLA

AS ~THEIR SONG~ STARTS PLAYING MOURNFULLY IN THE BACKGROUND

SHOW WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME, WHY DO YOU HURT ME THIS WAY

Oh god, the way the camera travels from an overhead view downward to slowly reveal lwj’s face under that frankly beautiful umbrella

MY HEART MY HEART

HIS FACE, LOOK AT HIS FACE AS HE LOOKS AT WWX AND THE PRISONERS HE RESCUED

HE WANTS SO DESPERATELY TO SAVE WWX FROM WHATEVER IS COMING NEXT BC HE KNOWS IT’S NOT GONNA BE GOOD

BUT HE HAS NO IDEA WHAT TO DO HERE???

This shot is beautiful in a heart-rending way

Wwx on his black, agitated horse, soaked to the bone, restlessly moving and placed farther away from the audience

And lwj, practically glowing in his pale blue robes under his pale umbrella, standing still and strong as a statue, placed much closer to the audience

Wwx: lan zhan, are you here to stop me?

Lwj: wei ying, where are you going?

Wwx: i have no idea but the world is wide. There must be a place for us.

“US,” HE SAID “US”

WWX HAS ALREADY CHOSEN HIS SIDE.

HE’S FOREVER WITH THE WEN REMNANTS NOW

MY SUNSHINE BOY IS TOO GOOD FOR HIS OWN GOOD

OH GOD WHY

Lwj: you need to think again. If you do this, it will be considered a rebellion against the orthodoxy with no way back.

LWJ CAN’T SAY WHAT HE MEANS. JUST SAY THAT YOU’RE WORRIED FOR HIS SAFETY, DAMN IT.

HE KNOWS HE’S LOSING WWX AND HE’S TERRIFIED

HE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO

Wwx: a rebellion against orthodoxy? What kind of orthodoxy is that?

Wwx: lan zhan, do you still remember that promise we made together?

THIS IS WHERE THE EPISODE ENDS

I AM DROWNING IN MY TEARS

MY HEART IS SHATTERED ON THE FLOOR

LWJ WAS TEARY-EYED THROUGHOUT THAT ENCOUNTER

HIS WORLD IS FALLING APART

AND WWX IS DOING WHAT HE THINKS IS RIGHT

BUT YOU CAN SEE HOW SCARED HE IS OF WHAT HE IS DOING

BC DOING THE RIGHT THING IS NOT ALWAYS EASY AND SOMETIMES IT’S DOWNRIGHT TERRIFYING

I HATE THIS SHOW

STOP MAKING ME FEEL SO MUCH!!!

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