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beautifulpersonpeach · 2 years ago

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Hi BBP, thank you for your level-headed take on the hate. That said, could you help a bit more on how to dealing with the overwhelming hate? My timeline was fairly clean, but I was on reddit where there was a very one-sided vitriol towards Jimin and about his singing. So I tried to report on different platforms and my exposure to these vile accusations and sexually charged hate speech made me really sad. Idk how you've been able to report and deplatform some of the most awful bunch in the past. How do you not get emotionally drained? I feel so indignant for Jimin and I can't help but feeling hurt, which I know is not a good approach. I wanted to enjoy this comeback wholeheartedly, but I now feel a heavy weight in my heart. I also know that Jimin is a perfectionist and very hard on himself, I hope that he isn't beating himself up too much. He is a phenomenal artist, and I hope the recency bias doesn't get to him too much. If this is what (probably nowhere near the magnitude given the severity and size of army fandom at the time) army+bts went through in 2016-2018, then I can't commend the perseverance and strength of them enough. It's really incredible, and makes me feel better and want to do better. It's equal sign & letter time, I guess. Regardless, your advice would be much appreciated.

Ask 2: Lool Jimin is an embarrassment >..< Armys act high and mighty pretending you don't see that sorry excuse for an idol getting dragged all over Twitter lmfao lmfao >..< I wonder what you're going to say now BPP how will you spin it >..< Or are you going to defend his encore bleating?? Jimboy is my bias in BTS >..< you know why BPP? Bcos he can't lie Your boys tried pretending they're singers oh they tried hardddd but Jimin didn't get the memo!! I thought it will be Namjoon to fuck up first in solos given how sex obsessed he is but he pulled through lucky you BPP. Not lucky j-hope flopped >..< but Armys pretended he didn't. Jimin is where all the pretense dies. In solo era your dozens can't hide BPP and no amount of mass buying will change it. Thanks to Jimin the whole world knows BTS is a fraud >..< One day the whole tower of cards will come falling down. Your sick cult fandom will be exposed and your emperor will have no clothes. You know it no wonder you're miserable harassing bloggers here. Do you think people don't notice? How you steal from people here? Your favs are just like you.

Stop harassing bloggers here. You're not satisfied to run them off the app? Go back to the gutter you crawled out of and take your disgusting privileged dozens with you. Nobody will notice and there will be peace.

Ask 3: Ngl Bpp, but the success Face is getting in countries like Japan and UK really surprises me. I mean I was expecting him to do numbers but I didn’t expect it to do this well? Specially after all the stuff that’s been happening left and right. I know he’s Jimin and the maknaes in general are expected to do really well because they’re super popular and have tons of solos on top of that too but still. I’m not knocking on Face at all because it’s definitely my top 2 debuts but I guess you’re right that Jimin did unleash something that he hides away deliberately…

I’m expecting even more for Jungkook too especially if he goes more poppy. For Tae I think it will do just as well as Jimins, less maybe if he goes the jazzy, slow type that he’s done but I think he’ll do better in Korea if that’s the case. I’m really curious what those two are planning because they’ve been working on their solos for years now and have scrapped a ton of songs already. I wonder if they’ll flip the expectations too like Jimin did.

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Hi Anon(s),

Anon in ask 1, the second ask in this post is here for your benefit. Normally when I get asks like that, I delete them. I don't get the really creepy ones anymore because escalating the issue to Tumblr each time got the creepy users permanently banned from the platform. The asks I end up keeping now are the ones that occasionally make me chuckle, like Ask 2. I just thought (and still think) it was so odd but quaint to say "Jimboy". Lol. As though Jimin's name is Jimmy... and like it's 2023, who actually says "Jimboy"? Also, "the emperor will have no clothes"?? I know what that means but it was so random I actually laughed reading it. It's also the most recent hate ask so I didn't have to scroll that far to get it lol.

What did you feel reading that ask? Annoyance? Anger? Confusion? Amusement? Bewilderment? Hate? Now, has anything changed in the last few minutes, in the real world, since the time you read that opinion and now? Actually, who even is this person saying it? They can't be anybody worth listening to if what they're saying isn't based in fact to begin with, can they? Until now I've never actually sat down to think this out, but that's basically the chain of questions that shoots down my mind in a split second when I see things like Ask 2. In fact my only takeaway from that ask is it's a shame its author is a bit insane, because I actually like their sense of humor. I mean, "Jimboy"? Really?

My point in saying this is, your personality will always impact how you approach hate, and this is something I didn't fully appreciate until recently. My personality is such that exposure therapy really does work on me - I've been into this for so long that few things are genuinely surprising (which is one reason I appreciate BTS/HYBE because that SM fiasco? Lol! Was left-field grade A entertainment. 10 years on and they still impact this system like new blood). Anyway, a lot of the talking points and insults get old. Like I know that in 2026 we'll be answering these exact same questions when a new wave of fans join the fandom, because this has happened every 2 - 3 years since 2013. When I first started actively writing on this blog, it was around the time Jimin was in a controversy related to missed insurance payments I think. There was a lot of hate and at first I'd respond to asks by pointing out how this will hardly impact Jimin in the real world, how Jimin hardly comes online anyway, how the people who write things like that are weird and miserable, how they're essentially binary code... I didn't appreciate that some people need more to understand what's happening because the scale and pervasiveness of hate in k-pop, whether in shippers, solos, ARMYs, or k-pop stans, is frankly senseless. So, I'll say a few more things if you don't mind.

Specifically on how to deal will hate towards Jimin or idols you like:

This might be weird to say, but one thing I consider very important is to remember what you are. You're a fan. That's it. Your scope of effective change is mostly beneficial when compounded with other fans' efforts. And even then, Jimin is his own person, a person strong enough to thrive in an environment as caustic as this, surrounded by people he loves and people who love him. So I get it when you say things like, "I feel so indignant for Jimin and I can't help but feeling hurt," but at the same time, it will be easier to detach and gain perspective when you remember what you are in this situation, a fan. And so is that person hating him. It's okay to just step back, log off, and go do something else if you're not in the mood to respond to them clearly, or to just report and block (recommended). Jimin is more than fine. Obviously. He already hears how much of a respected artist he is from his bandmates, their staff, talkshow hosts, interviewers, and designers, and what I suspect he'd like to see more is the response from his fans. So if you like what you're hearing, express that however you like. Just doing that is powerful and amazing. And going by that meme dance (the one JK too did), that Jimin posted on Instagram, maybe Jimin will notice how you express your love for his work. I'm writing all this to show it's not merely cliché to say focus on the music, it really just makes sense.

Anon in ask 3, thanks for providing a good segue into showing one of the best ways to deal with criticism IMO: actually listen to the music and support the artist. You were mad, amused, or both, reading Ask 2 weren't you? It didn't seem rational to you at all, did it? Responding to posts like that Anon's will take time away from you enjoying or assessing what Jimin has released, so it only makes sense to just focus on Jimin and support him harder. That's what ARMYs and his other fans did for him the last two weeks, and that's what they'll do again for Yoongi's D-Day release.

[ Your surprise at Jimin doing so well though lol... Jimin released the album of the year, ended k-pop, and owned every live performance, and you're surprised the fandom rallied for him and the world loved his work? Come now. ]

Speaking of D-Day's release and ARMY support, Taehyung and Jung Kook's debut will be so chaotic for the fandom oh lawd. I almost don't want to be here for it, but I also don't want to miss it because theirs could be the biggest debuts in the group and I honestly like Taekook's music so far. Both Tae and JK have made pop tunes so I assume they'll have a mix of pop, R&B, jazz, and/or hip hop in their albums. Let's pray Jungkook was thoroughly inspired by Jimin in Set Me Free Pt 2 and we get nasty rapper JK in JJK1, or a feature with one. We know Jungkook will be dancing hard in at least one MV too...

Besides that I have no expectations for Tae and JK. They'll both do very well.

Anon in ask 1, hate is something you'll only see more of unfortunately the longer you spend time in k-pop circles online, especially if BTS remains at the top of the hierarchy for a lot longer. I think whatever impact that will have on BTS will be insignificant so long as each member keeps making art. I could be wrong but that's also an outcome outside of our control, so why fret about it. Also, I personally enjoy a good debate and don't mind seeing critiques often because sometimes you learn something new, so I'd encourage you to remain in the spaces you're in, but it's also okay to curate your feed or block spaces that are clearly toxic to you. It takes a few tweaks but it's possible to curate a fan space online that's fun and helpful/informative to you as a fan. My $0.02: if that's what you want though, don't open a Tumblr account and turn on the Anon feature. Lol. A lot of people are just weird.

#fandom behaviour #bts #bts fandom #army fandom #kpop fandom

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pretendstoread · 1 year ago

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first...second...second first

it's funny that every time i think about writing i never really know what to say. i don't remember making this account in 2018, or writing for the first time on here. i've gone back and forth between journaling--where to do it, if it's even helping me--and there's a strong chance that i'll move on from this just like the other journals and modes of expression.

i've just been kinda uninspired. i fear that i wasnt born to be an artist. i dont think i Do enough. i dont really photograph. nothing really inspires me anymore. i'm kinda worried that new york's tap has run dry, but i dont think it's effective to blame the city i live in instead of myself. this has been a problem of mine for years now. why is it so hard to express yourself?!! i feel like i have a lot in me and yet no way to show for it. i dont know if i have a good work life balance. i dont know if thats even the problem? it's just.....so easy to do nothing....? but it doesnt make me happy??? but i keep doing nothign anyway??? maybe THIS is the first step to that. there's a bit of ego in making this. like. diary public. though i dont really think anyone will see it (and i don't care (but i will tag this anyway and maybe check if it gets any notes)). but i dont mean it to be egotistical.

i am a product of post internet use. i grew up expressing myself online. i was on facebook in fifth grade, tumblr in middle school, wattpad/ao3 and stan twitter in high school, art school in college, and back on twitter as a young adult. there has never been a point where i wasn't trying to put myself out there somehow, to be seen and shared and agreed with or admired or congratulated or impressed by. this pressure To Be Seen at 24 feels the most strong. the strongest ever felt. everywhere all the time i see and am told that i have so much time and that 20s are just the beginning. but it doesnt feel that way at all. it LOOMS over me. life shouldnt be Established but it should be.....Impressive? thats the second time i used impressive in this post so thats some subconscious thing going on there. But much of life right now is waking up, going to work, hating work, coming home, sitting on the couch until it's time for bed (which i either fall asleep right there or lazily flop into bed--and consequently miss taking my antianxiety meds), and then i wake up all over again. there's nothing to really show for. i don't feel like an interesting person. i dont feel like i do enough for myself. i guess i have a fear that i will be in this cycle for so long that one day it's 20 years later and nothings reallllllly changed. like. fundamentally.

i cannot think that far ahead. i have no ten year plan, 5 year, one year, 6 months...but i will be a fucking doomer about myself every chance i get. it's, of course, easier to catastrophize in the moment. lower expectations = less chance of disappointment! i think it's also interesting that the only things i really journal about are negative thoughts. wtf is that about. i'm not even necessarily unhappy right now.

things that make me feel Happy:

having enough food in the house that i can make something without having to go out or order in

laying in the sun on the beach after getting bodied by waves

creme soda

when i'm wearing a dress and dont care about my underwear showing (i like to spread! im sitting knees up at my desk right now!!)

catching someone i like looking at me (does it mean anything extra if they're drinking something at the same time....? and they don't break eye contact...?)

customizable internet--the past now....i remember when tumblr was a WEBSITE more than an APP. we must free ourselves from The Profile.

#diary #if you see this hi

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amphtaminedreams · 3 years ago

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If 2022 Festival Season is Unrealistic, Let the Outfits Fit the Brief: Lookbook no.18

Hiii to anyone reading,

Wowwww, have I put this shit off!

Even though I’ve been typing up lecture content and essay drafts non-stop (let it be known this effort was for nothing because judging by my coursework feedback, it seems this is my academic flop era). to open up word and just blurt out the first thing that comes to mind is strangely unnerving. I have to say, to know I can open a sentence with the words “I think” and not be met with a little red box saying “non-academic phrasing, please reconsider” like it does on the Turnitin Feedback Theatre has me on a bit of a power trip. The thrill of knowing I don’t need to add a footnote and a reference every time I state something…this may well be my villain origin story, I think. Just try and mark me down Tumblr, I dare you.

Welcome to my first written post in foreverrr, if you are one of the, I’m sure very very few, fabulous, amazing, incredible people who reads this bullshit I write along with the pictures!:-) It’s been far too long since I last posted. Studying an undergraduate course that is very set on making sure it’s taken seriously as a very science-y science honestly kind of drains your creative juices a bit; when I did my year of history undergrad, professors were all like “have an opinion!” when we were set essays but...I didn’t...and now when it comes to psychology and I actually HAVE a point of view, the feedback is like...don’t do that, idiot. The course plus the job plus, eurgh I feel nauseated saying it but, adult duties (who knew toilet roll was so fucking expensive), means I’m very late on the uptake with this post. With precisely 10 days left of my Christmas break, however, I started a mission to get this lookbook done. It’s now the 27th January, so in a completely unsurprising turn of events I got distracted, again. The thing is, I do have a tonne of photo only posts drafted and saved and ready to go but I thought I needed a nice big, old, wall of text to break that up a bit before I upload the next S/S22 set or photo dump or any other mood board-y kind of post, plus couldn’t we all do with a bit of delusional looking towards summer 2022? As with many things, a festival season untouched by COVID is pretty hard to imagine BUT if the booster roll out continues and we follow the instructions of the experts, maybe this summer can be the first in a while to resemble anything truly pre-2020. This lookbook can be my contribution to the make festival fashion great again movement, because if the pyramid stage is coming back, so is the chance to hold two fingers up to the arseholes on legs whose sense of self-importance is upheld by routinely throwing hissy fits about fake fans because he can’t believe a girl looking approximately 174% more attractive than he’ll ever be is possibly enjoying the same band. Is it obvious I’ve encountered a particularly high number of patronising men lately? I had the security guard insist he could open a pack of peanut butter to put on the shelf for me. TWICE. PEANUT. FUCKING. BUTTER. It really blew his mind that my delicate little lady hands were doing something other than daintily holding up a teacup and writing in my diary about how I long for the touch of a man.

ANYWAYYY! Assignment: Outfits for Download festival.

Headliners include Iron Maiden, Megadeath & Black Veil Brides, faves of the how do you do, m’lady/now you’ve rejected me I’ll call you an ugly bitch over the internet type. Okay, maybe categorising all metal fans as incels is a little harsh but being a Lana Del Rey fan gets you stereotyped as a pretentious teenage brat who spends all their time trying to fight Barbs on Twitter and loves to indulge in a bit of white supremacy on the DL so...it could be worse, you know?

I’m not gonna lie, I have 0 intention of ever attending Download. It would be truly wasted on me to the point where if you do see me there, I deserve the roasting-my presence would be for outfit pics only. The Vaccines or Cage the Elephant are probably the “rock”-iest my music taste gets and the latter’s songs haven’t really hit the same anyway since I saw them at Ally Pally and can be almost certain that at least half the concert was taken up by what I strongly suspect were coke-fuelled rambles on the part of the frontman in between every. single. song. No judgement on my part, god knows I can’t get through a party sober let alone a concert, but given this is my second try at this whole uni business, I’ve had my fill of pretentious men with a god complex getting a semi over being able to talk at length uninterrupted.

That being said, given that Kiss are top billing at Download 2022 and 70s rock band groupie is a rather iconic starting point for a style moodboard, I was inspired to use it as the basis for the first 4 looks. Though it’s debatable whether any of these outfits are actually truly wearable if you’re not staying in the closest Premiere Inn to the Venue which we all know will decide to price match the Savoy for the few days coinciding with the festival every year (Lenny Henry would not stand for this), I’ve tried to do 2 slightly more practical outfits for each festival along with the 2 I just went balls to the wall with. But let’s start with the extra because that’s a lot more fun to look at.

-credit, clockwise from first to right of centre: instagram account @theambertrafficlight, @helenanderz, @lady_with_the_octopus_tattoo, @kllysm, @genevfewter, @amyvalentinex, borders by Alycia Rainaud, background image my own (17th October 2021, Brick Lane, Tower Hamlets)-

I know I cited 70s rock groupie as the starting point for Download festival inspired outfits, but I took way more inspiration from the style icons of my teenage days, back when Youtube lookbooks and Primark hauls were at the height of their popularity. I’m not going to pretend there wasn’t a time when I didn’t live for a good Zoella favourites video, but I always wanted to have the wardrobes of Helen Anderson, and Zoe London, Amy Valentine, Kayla Hadlington, Lily Mel Rose, Leanne Woodful, all of those v cool girls who were into that music and had mastered treading the fine line between walking Topshop double spread ad and genuine mosh pit regular, which I have firmly accepted I’ll never be. The 4 seconds of fun is not worth the hours of fearing for one’s life, or the beer scented hair mask, and I can’t pretend otherwise. I think Taylor Momsen is a bit of a goddess and I am ecstatic that the Pretty Reckless are performing at Download too this year because it gives me a chance to channel her as inspo too but I wouldn’t get near the front circle, not even for her.

I never know whether it’s at all relevant to include the Depop shops I bought my stuff from in the posts because once you filter it down to the people who read them and then filter from there to the people who are actually going to seek out that specific shop, I’m not sure I have anyone left with me at this point. So, what I thought may be more helpful is to specify where the piece is originally from and the sizing since that may be more helpful in searching for something similar. Starting with the outfit on the left, ignoring the jeans which were a new 2021 purchase from the Ragged Priest, the corset top is the Urban Outfitters Ayla bustier in size XS from @arianne_tan, and then the body chain is a handmade piece from the Depop shop _chain_mail. For the outfit on the right, the trousers are Oh Polly wide leg snakeskin trousers in a faux leather material, size UK 6, from @jesskvedyte, and then the top in hindsight appears to be from one of those drop shipping accounts which I try to avoid now as they kind of defeat the point of Depop so I won’t mention it here. The star harness was from @meganbywater and is one size fits all, and the rest I’m almost certain I’ve included in a few other lookbooks, so take a look there. Is that shameless self-promotion? Yes.

-credit, clockwise from first to right of centre: instagram account @helenanderz, “, @emily_rxse, @alexjaye29, @hpxw, @genevfewtr, borders by Alycia Rainaud, background image my own (17th October 2021, Brick Lane, Tower Hamlets)-

Above are the casual looks, which are more Download festival appropriate than they are inspired. I do have, however, a bone to pick here; talking about the Pretty Reckless got me thinking about how disappointing it is that, once again, the line up is COMPLETELY male dominated, especially when it comes to those who get top billing. I guess I am part of the problem because when I thought of rock bands I consider myself a fan of, The Vaccines and Cage the Elephant were the first bands that came to mind, but there are so many sick girl bands and performers out there right now with a vibe that wouldn’t be out of place at Download, and who just don’t get asked to perform at many big festivals in general. I appreciate that some of the bands and women I’m thinking of aren’t “heavy metal” by any means and maybe wouldn’t even be considered rock, but Big Piig, Pale Waves, Honeyblood, Hayley Williams, Sky Ferreira, Cherry Glazerr, Daughter, they would at least be as in keeping with the Download vibe as, like, Post Malone is with Reading and Leeds, no? This isn’t me raging over Post Malone performing at R&L, it’s just an observation that a little genre expansion, the same kind we see afforded in favour of male performers, isn’t going to totally besmirch the name or respectability of a festival or kill the demand for tickets so like…maybe organisers could give women in rock, or “rock adjacent” genres should I say, a tinnnnyyyy little bit of representation? Just a crumb? I say rock adjacent btw in lest I invite the misfortune of the “do you even know any songs by Guns ‘n Roses or do you just think it’s a cool t-shirt?” crowd in my messages because of course it would be just my luck to have one come across this post and actually read it, and to answer the question-no I haven’t a clue about anything Guns ‘n Roses but my 13 year old self was pleased with her £5 H&M Divided top so just let her live!

As for the clothes, before I get too into that rant, I’ll just get straight into the list: the trousers on the left I’ve also mentioned before and are from a -they who must not be named- shop but you can probably find them in an old post if you wanted to have a look about on Depop. The top I bought new last year from Motel Rocks and is in a size S in black satin-it’s a halter neck and the fabric has a fair bit of give so it’s quite flexible in terms of size. On the right is the white top I’ve worn to absolute death in my lookbooks from a vintage shop in Camden and this black tennis skirt also from Depop that I’ve definitely mentioned before (it’s an AA dupe and honestly, if you’re looking for an AA one specifically on Depop you’re wasting your time because you really can’t tell the difference) and am probably conditioned to be way too attached to thanks to my days on 2013/2014 Tumblr. The camo jacket is vintage from @marinamacleesex on Depop, which very much supports this conditioned by old school “grunge” Tumblr hypothesis.

Now let’s talk Glasto, an event I tend to think of as the muddy, English Coachella of the 2000s.

-image description, clockwise from top left corner: Florence Welch photographed at Glastonbury in 2013, Daisy Lowe photographed at Glastonbury in 2015, Florence photographed at Glastonbury in 2013, Lana Del Rey photographed performing on the Pyramid Stage in 2014, Lottie Moss photographed at Glastonbury in 2019, instagram account @alicetemperley, background image my own-

Before there was paparazzi lurking around to catch Kendall and Kylie (whilst I do not consider myself a fan of that family by ANY means, it would be disrespectful to ignore the IMPACT of those 2014 outfits because they were out here giving Missguided top tier material for at least a couple of years and it’s really all been downhill from there), it was Kate Moss, Daisy Lowe, Liam Gallagher, Peaches and Pixie Geldof, Lily Allen, Alex Turner and of course, Alexa Chung, that were on the front pages and whose style everybody was trying to replicate. What an era. I can only imagine the chaos of what went down when Kate and Pete Doherty cohabitated in less than 3 square meters of synthetic mountain warehouse tentage. Do you reckon they put it up themselves? On a shit tonne of coke or a little ecstasy at the very least? And followed a paper manual? The 2000s were a wild time for some, even if my only encounter of such debauchery back then was my vicarious knowledge of what a keg stand entailed through the hours I spent on Sims 2 University. I joke-not about the Sims addiction, that’s serious stuff. I’m saying there’s no way Kate and Pete were staying in anything less than a double king size suite at that nearby Premiere Inn, probably being tucked in by Lenny Henry himself.

The true icon of Glasto though, that really captures the original bohemian spirit of the festival and the colour bombs and giant waving flags you still see when it’s televised in August, is Florence. fucking. Welch. Nobody can channel demented forest fairy and embody rock and roll Queen of the Druids like she can. See when I talk about the peak of Coachella fashion, I’m talking about a slick Hollywood version of the Florence at Glastonbury (along with people like Alexa and Sienna Miller, and later, Poppy Delevingne) aesthetic, tassels, and velvet and dark romanticism topped off with hair that has all the messy appeal of a mop that needs washing without the grease. Where did that go? Don’t get me wrong, Revolve has some gorgeous stuff but it was all so much more exciting before it became all influencers wearing their gifted pieces, when we were waiting on pictures of Vanessa Hudgens holding sunflowers and eating “sugar” from a baggie to surface online, right? Anyway, I’m getting very off topic here-Glastonbury at its core was/is a festival built for the British free spirit that embraces the dirt and the edge as part of its genetic makeup. And I took that vibe and ran with it in a way that even Florence Welch would probs judge the fuck out of me for like “in this weather? fr?”.

For the outfits here, the acid wash corset top was a Depop purchase (shop @isabelhodgson) originally from PLT in size 6, and the shorts are the vintage Levis I got from Ebay that I whip out at any given opportunity-most versatile £13 I ever spent, probs.The shaggy cardigan is from Primark a few years ago and the velvet baker boy cap I bought when they were the accessory of the moment from the Oxford Circus Topshop (RIP); I may have to cut off the oxygen supply to my big ass head to pull it on but I’ve come to think of it like a treasured heirloom passed down by a family member, a relic of the past, left behind by a victim of the death of the high street-watch me hold onto it til the end of days crying “WHY DO THE GOOD DIE YOUNG?!”.

For the outfit on the right, I wore an Elsie & Fred (I absolute adore everything they’re selling atm and my self-control is being TESTED to its very limits every time they send me a discount code email) crochet co-ord in size S from the Depop shop @paigemurphy99, the good old tassel belt from Boohoo circa 2017, and then an old Zara leather jacket which has lasted surprisingly well. Boots are from the wonderful Koi Vegan Footwear<3 ily<3

-image description, clockwise from top left corner to right of centre: Kate Moss photographed at Glastonbury in 2003, instagram account @cro_cho_, instagram account @sacredhawkclothing, Joe Wiley photographed at Glastonbury in 2016, instagram account @dinafromtheblock, Kate Moss photographed at Glastonbury in 2008, background image my own-

The casual Glastonbury outfits I put together I feel are much more suited to the modern iteration of the festival, which is far less about its celebrities attendees and more about a lineup that justifies people having to book tickets a YEAR IN ADVANCE. I mean, it’s probably a good thing, a music festival being about the MUSIC. What a concept. And correct me if I’m wrong but I also think of Glastonbury as something that’s become a lot more family friendly in recent years. Maybe I’m totally off here but I think parents would be a lot less willing to bring the kids along back in the day when it was Kate and Pete dominating the headlines. But I love that-providing they’re not shoving their kids into a mosh pit, which would pretty much be sentencing them to death by drunk 16 year olds, I think parents who take the children to concerts and expose them to the magic of a live music at a young age are v cool; the coat on the left, from Out of the Ordinary clothing, I can definitely see donned by a Glasto mum and that’s a score imo. For the rest of the clothes here, I just took an (most likely foolishly) optimistic approach and used as much of my summer wardrobe as possible, wearing the Motel Rocks Laras mini dress on the left, and then on the right, my Levis again and Ebay sandals, as well as the wide brim straw hat that I know has made an appearance in at least one of these posts before; since it may have been a while ago and idk which one, it’s an old Topshop purchase for reference, and no! IDC whether they’re something that is still considered in trend or not because they make me feel a little like Audrey Hepburn and which girl doesn’t want that!?

-I had to add this little collection of pics I got from the 60s Counterculture exhibition at the Bermondsey Fashion and Textile Museum, there was a whole section dedicated to archival Glasto fits! When I talk about the original Bohemian spirit of Glastonbury Festival, it lived in this little display for a good few months and I am very happy I got to see it!-

Finally, moving away from anything Audrey Hepburn might touch with a ten foot pole, the tassel jacket is a high street Topshop piece (olddd I’m guessing since before Topshop moved to ASOS and became painfully tempting to me again, all their irl stores ever seemed to stock was jeans and basics) in size 10 from the Depop store @millscunningham, which I know anyone who reads these things must be bored of seeing. I KNOW THE WESTERN THING IS OVERDONE but retailers put out new lines so often now that we seem to complete a trend cycle in about half the time it used to take-I guarantee tasselled leather will have done the rounds along with the cowgirl boots again by the end of the year. It’s giving Hell’s Angels vibes anyway in my eyes so I don’t think I’ll ever tire of it. The bodysuit on the right is also old Topshop from @lunalust1 on Depop in size 8 and the backstory of this one is a tale of true love and longing and destiny; I saw Sammi Maria show it in a Topshop haul in, like, 2013 and I couldn’t afford it at the time, but I never stopped thinking about it, and finally all these years later the otherworldly powers of Depop (and the fact that I would still search Topshop crochet rainbow bodysuit every now and again) has brought us together. I found that one velvet UO maxi skirt I’ve trawled out ad nauseam the same way and I wear it with pride. If that doesn’t bring a tear to your eye, I don’t know what will. A shining example of persistence and obsession to inspire the masses and usher out Capricorn season. May I actually have worked out how to put these qualities to good use by the time cap szn comes around again in 2023, because at the moment all the combo really seems to correlate with is the amount of time I spend compulsively picking at my skin or eyelash extensions or hyper fixating on my weight and food, tehe. Love that for me, girlies!

Onto something more positive: the great British festival bender. And although we’ve said au revoir to the era of tabloid messes trudging round Worthy Farm still rolling at 11am in the morning being front page news, getting absolutely fucked for multiple days straight whilst barely paying any attention to the acts you’ve paid a fortune to see is as much of a tradition as ever. It’s just evolved a little. The festival bender in 2022? 2019? Whichever year it was before COVID took over? is no longer dominated by the sex (well, this part is probs inaccurate), (hard) drugs, and rock and roll antics of the 2000s Glastonbury lot, but is a more...not peace and love as such, but...spiritual? Whilst I am almost positive the actual proportion of the crowd who are dangerously high on MDMA hasn’t changed, in this era, the wildest festival sights can now also be observed at any festival branding itself as trance/techno/D&B meets Woodstock doubling as an epicentre of “togetherness” and “authenticity” and “community”, antics kindly sponsored by a mixed bag of psychedelics and dissociatives. That’s my hard sell and I know, it’s pretty marmite but girlsss, if you’re a “I’m not religious I’m just in touch with the universe” or “the energy here tonight is everythingggg” kinda person (I’ve def said the second one I can’t lie) and you have the stamina to spend a few days dodging an obliviously upper middle class, self-professed marxist man child from Oxfordshire who wants to talk to you about how much he respects women whilst bumming your coke and trying desperately to cheat on their girlfriend back home all weekend, Meadows in the Mountains festival is the one for you. I get the appeal-aside from the odd bit of pretentiousness, the energy (heh) does seem amazing, even if I’m just being won over by the vision; Meadows takes place in a mountain range near the Greek border in Bulgaria rather than a flat, muddy field in the middle of the English countryside and it is STUNNNing. Add to that, though, that everyone’s frolicking around dressed like the most glamorous cast of a midsummer night’s dream you’ve ever seen and you can see why it must be magic to some. Energy alone a good time does not make, but if you’re into that music and aren’t gonna judge people for putting a 2000s video hoe worthy spin on some mythical being (a vibe), I’m sure you’d have an incredible time. I can’t pretend I’m likely to know who anyone on this year’s line up is, and maybe you won’t either, but as much as I advise against it, we are of a generation-prepare yourself, a very “we live in a society” statement is coming up-where everyone is so scared of FOMO that they will get absolutely white girl wasted or off their tits in order to enjoy an event they have no theoretical interest in so, yeah, I’m sure there will be plenty of people to bond with that haven’t a clue who anyone is either. Go for it! Buy that ticket!

-credit, clockwise from top left corner: instagram account @valandiaa, “ @lilimaysparrow, “ @chenaijayxo, “ @twinksburnett, “ @valandiaa, “ @tashajaynewills, borders “Falling Skies” by Emily de Molly, background image my own (Our Potent Revolution by Jade Fadojutimi @ Mixing It Up: Painting Today Exhibition at the Hayward Gallery, Southbank, October 2021)-

The extra outfits I put together for Meadows may be the only ones that are actually LESS extra than the kind of looks you see people arriving in. These people go all out, stick on gem stones as underwear (werk), feathers for hair, throwback psychedelia inspired prints, rhinestone cowboy hats, it’s all going on. The dress code is basically dress like a bunch of wood nymphs on a hen do. Very that. Where Glastonbury sits on the rugged, Acne dupe end of the bohemian fashion continuum, the dress code for Meadows is Zimmerman and Etro on acid with a bit of Charlotte Knowles and Mugler (it’s just been reported as I’m putting the finishing touches to this post that Thierry Mugler has passed away and it’s so fucking sad, this man has done SO much for fashion and established the blueprint for an innumerable amount of designers-there will be a tribute post to his work in the next few days) sex appeal thrown in. So! I took those forest fairy vibes, added in a little too much jewellery for that lack of practicality, and this is what I ended up with. No pasties for me, soz. You can’t tell me those babies wouldn’t go slipping RIGHT off. They’ll throw you under the bus quicker than Cady Heron allegedly did Regina George and within a split second you’ll be nips to the wind. I already have enough of a sense of impending doom in my life without the constant threat of forcing my unsolicited nudity on everyone. For the much safer clothes here, my go to Depop searches were the brands of the ultimate Meadows outfit inspiration, girls I get far too excited to see festival outfit posts from, the likes of Mika Francis and @lulutrixabelle and @ttigerlilly on Instagram who I’d be perfectly happy to dress like all day everyday if I had the funds and the bravery. I couldn’t find anything on Depop from the ShopFluffy or EasyTiger collections to add to my wardrobe unfortunately, though given that they’re independent businesses let’s just call it the universe’s way of reminding me to support women creatives! Woo! Apart from the satin orange top which was from the Olivia Neill Motel Rocks collaboration in size S and the white satin off the shoulder top from a brand we no longer support in this house (I mean, I’m sure you can find it referenced in an old post if you wanna look on Depop), lol, the rest is Depop including MY LONG LOST LOVE, the Urban Outfitters skirt I was just going on about. I know I’ve worn it many a time before but I still feel like I dug up a chest of gold with this one<3 in a post-pandemic world that’s crumbling due to a self-imposed climate catastrophe and which causes nothing but existential dread on the daily, it’s the small wins! I won’t end on doom and gloom, don’t worry! The shorts are Elsie & Fred from @cathy6965 on Depop! They’re cute as fuck, right! And sparkly! Moving on!

-credit, clockwise from top left corner: instagram account @tashajaynewills, “ @bby__yan, “ @lilimaysparrow, “ @souljunk_, “ @ezbeezoe, “ @ivaylo_gerasimov, borders “Violet Days” by Emily de Molly, background image my own (work by Samara Scott @ Mixing It Up: Painting Today Exhibition at the Hayward Gallery, Southbank, October 2021)-

Now, the casual Meadows looks! Let’s just ignore that stream of consciousness at the end of the last paragraph unless you feel the same in which case how TF do you cope, pls message me for tips and tricks!xoxo

Let’s shift gears in a way that couldn’t be more jarring if I tried, and talk about clothes! I based these comparatively low-key looks on some of the more mellow, hippy dippy throwback style outfit posts from the Instagram Meadows in the Mountains tag of past years, which again draw on the colour palettes, prints, and flower child aesthetic of the late 60s and 70. What a time to be alive, honestly. Minus the social acceptability of the racism, the sexism, all the -isms and likes of Charles Manson, Ted Bundy, Richard Ramirez because you know…the serial killer boom of the period was a great era for true crime content, not so great for general anxiety levels of the time. On that note if anyone has a change.org petition to get Netflix to bring back mindhinter, hmu. I’m still v pissed off at them for that. Another morally abhorrent move. Like Jesus, wasn’t renewing Riverdale for a 197th season enough?

I really need to stop going off topic, lmao, so ignore the slight narrative detour there. Back to the clothes-the top here was a foolish purchase from a Depop shop holding one of these inexplicable Urban Outfitters product monopolies, and whilst I resent the proliferation of shops on the platform adopting the Ticketmaster for second hand clothes business model recently, it is a cute top, no? I don’t deny that I am, as my friend reminded me when I told her, a mug, but irritation with the seller, and more so myself for my silly, silly ways, is offset by these very reasonably priced vintage shorts from @wornandwonderful, and the checkered trousers on the right I managed to find on Depop too, originally from Motel, shop @nelliashfield1. The crochet cardigan is vintage from @milliejobson on Depop, the black satin headscarf is from @luxeaccessories and the red ruched bustier top on the right was a treat yoself UO purchase for my 22nd last year (size XS) and I will NOT be reselling it on Depop for twice the original price, thank you very much. I’m silly but I’m not a dick. I didn’t intend for this post to be my declaration of war on Depop resellers but here we are.

So that’s everything! I can’t wait to get back to posting photo sets again; in terms of content turnaround and reception, they understandably do a lot better. For one, they make me feel like increasing my screen time by browsing vogue runway is productive, and kills 2 birds with one stone when I get to spend my time obsessively organising collections into folders because that is the sad reality of my favourite hobbies. That being said, it might look lary af and be a complete distraction but I’ve got to grips with Adobe Photoshop and had so much fun editing the images. I probably didn’t need to state that, did I? My daughter let loose in her mum’s wardrobe style approach to editing, I’m sure, says it all for me. Unsupervised Photoshop seshes have really filled the scrapbooking shaped hole in my life and for the resulting strain of your eyes, you can blame the service industry using COVID as an excuse to cut the costs of printing physical tickets for things because this is just cause and effect. I’m not sorry. Like, bring back the days of those orange tickets Odeon used to give you!! I beg!! Even the shitty paper ones at this point! It really took away the joy of irl scrapbooking when all I have to show for a £10 cinema ticket is a QR code. Is virtual collaging gonna be my lazy girl alternative? We shall see. I feel a little guilty that it would involve spending yet more time on my computer lmao.

Let’s hope that things continue to improve and that summer 2022 sees the proper return of a festival season that I can actually get in on without that internal debate of whether or not it’s the responsible thing to do (atm I’m still gonna go with…no?). Even better if they give out actual wristbands to keep for after! It’s like the 4th year of wanting to go to Truck or Reading festival, and I am DETERMINED to make that happen this summer if the circumstances are right. Can’t even blame COVID for past failures. It’s either me being broke or non-committal friends (not to throw anyone under the bus but where is the lie?). I ALMOST went to Reading fest a few years ago and then my one friend who actually does commit to stuff got called for fucking jury duty. The universe really said “haha bitch, you thought l?!” But this is the year!! I feel it!!

Thanks so much for reading and I hope everyone is safe and well! The rest of my SS22 will be up within the week. If you read to the end or read any of this post in general, thanks for your patience! I am so grateful:D And inbox me if you have any questions<3 even insults are entertaining so just shoot, lmao.

Stay safe! Lauren x

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writteninsunshine · 3 years ago

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Hard To Say I’m Sorry - Sam Winchester/Dean Winchester - SFW

Title: Hard To Say I’m Sorry

Author: Keith

Fandom: Supernatural

Setting: The Impala, Some Freeway

Pairing: Sam Winchester/Dean Winchester

Characters: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester

Genre: Hurt/Comfort/Romance

Rating: T

Chapters: 1/1

Word Count: 2040

Type Of Work: One-Shot, Started as a Ficwip Drabble Challenge

Status: Complete

Warnings: Gay, Slash, Yaoi, MLM, Sibling Incest, Brother/Brother Incest, Brocon, Homophobia Mention, Hate Crim Mention, Dental Trauma Mention, Dating But Fighting, ficwip drabble challenge

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything!

Summary: Sam was being a baby about something, but Dean didn’t quite know what.

AN: Hey guys, it’s me again! Just thought I ought to say, if you want vague updates and to talk to me more, I have a writing Tumblr, too! Twitter is Sunshinecackle, and Tumblr is Writteninsunshine! I also have a writing Discord that is currently pretty dead. xD If you want it, please contact me on Twitter!

Welp here’s to another Supernatural fic from me, but not the right one. xD I was doing a drabble challenge on the Ficwip Discord, and this one really stuck out to me, and so I wanted to add to it. The original drabble was paragraphs two to seven and the italicized Dean if you were wondering!

I hope you guys enjoy it! I am having a lot of fun with these boys right now.

Supernatural Fic Masterlist

Hard To Say I’m Sorry

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The silence was unbearable. Knowing that Sam was so upset with him was unacceptable. Of course, Dean handled these insufferable emotions in the only way he knew how.

"You don't have to be such a baby about this, you know." Dean huffed, glancing to his left out the window. Yep, more corn. It was almost as if this state was ninety percent corn, and one percent the single gas station they'd passed fifty miles back. Sam's silence, his furrowed brows, and firmly frowning lips told Dean he was still definitely in trouble, "Sam--"

"Dean, just shut up for a minute." Sam snapped, squeezing his eyes shut. He could feel a migraine coming on.

"Ohhh, sure, Sam, like I haven't been shut up for the last ten miles!" Dean snorted, fidgeting with the radio.

"Why don’t you shut up for the next ten, too?” Crossing his arms as he adjusted his legs, careful not to kick Baby, Sam rolled his eyes, “Dean, who’s being the baby about this?" Sam asked, incredulous and clearly irritated, not bothering to turn away from the window.

"Uh, you? You're still pouting--" Dean was pretty sure that whatever his offense was, it wasn't even that important.

"I'm not pouting!" Sam snapped, the car falling silent save for Baby's purring. A solid ten minutes passed before Dean reached over, patting his brother's thigh, a silent concession of guilt. Sam turned to look at him, his eyes softening before Dean gave him an insufferable grin. Smartass.

"You're real cute when you pout, you know." Batting his eyelashes, an exaggerated pout worked onto Dean’s face, and he only laughed when Sam smacked him in the chest.

"Dean!" If this was his way of apologizing, Sam was half tempted to just get out and walk again. So much of the time, he didn’t want to just walk out as he had so early on in their journey together. Then, there were times like this, when Dean was absolutely intolerable. “Can you just leave me alone?!”

“Oh, come on, Sammy!” Exasperated, Dean flopped back against his seat and drummed his fingers against the steering wheel. Baby didn’t mind, but somewhere deep down he felt bad. Maybe later he’d get her a treat, wipe down the interior or something. “It’s not like it was a big de--”

“Do not.” Unlike Dean’s playful glibness, Sam’s voice was hard, cold, even, and Dean found himself sighing. Emotions, his or otherwise, were not his strong suit. Dean was the action, the one who did something about how he was feeling. Talking about these things always made him uncomfortable at best, and pissed off at worst.

“What? Sam, talk to me.” As much as he didn’t want to, as much as he’d rather let Sam get drunk and hand him a pair of pliers for some impromptu dentistry instead, Dean knew better. Sam wouldn’t even hit him to get his emotions in check, much less something more violent. While Dean handled things by not handling them, Sam wanted a solution. Usually an emotionally charged solution, much to Dean’s chagrin.

Or, at the very least, to get his chest clear so his head could take back over. To be fair, Sam suspected that Dean didn’t think with his brain, either. At some point, part of it had disengaged and went for a joyride to his fists. It was the only logical explanation to Dean’s ‘punch first, ask questions later, maybe’ policy.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Sam murmured, voice quiet and distant, “I just wish you’d think before you spoke.”

Oh.

That explained a lot if he were honest. But it also didn’t explain a single damn thing. What had he said this time to piss Sam off so much? It was almost like he’d dropped the last straw; Like he was finally going to lose him, had finally pushed him away for good. The sheer amount of unease kicking up the bile in his stomach was leaving him feeling antsy, flighty, and nervous.

In another ten seconds, if he didn’t say something, or if Sam didn’t, he’d probably crank some Metallica just to calm his nerves. Instead, however, Sam reached over and pushed the radio button to turn it off, shaking his head. Apparently, that look had entered Dean’s eyes, distant and far away, and Sam knew what that meant. This time, it was his hand to land on Dean’s knee, and he rubbed it gently.

“You’re so stupid sometimes.” Sam smiled slightly, sadly, and sighed through his nose. “I really can’t believe you sometimes.”

While Dean’s first instinct was to say something snarky, to take offense, his glance over to see Sam’s soft expression made his heart skip a beat. All he managed was a thin line with his lips, and Sam nodded a little, holding up his free hand.

“I promise I mean that in the best way possible. But, uh… It’s just…” Glancing back out the window, Sam slumped down in his seat, even more, nearly choking himself on the seatbelt, “I know how you are, Dean, but it still hurts when you…” No, the way he was going, Dean would just get offended, “When we have to get two beds, or you tell people we aren’t…”

“Together.” Dean finished when Sam trailed off, and he bit his lip, eyes back on the road. That made sense, he’d been very adamant about flirting with the motel owner’s daughter that morning after the owner had said something about him and Sam. When assholes made comments, Dean went on the defensive. Maybe it was his way of coping, Sam figured.

Truthfully, Dean wanted to protect his little brother. If people knew that they were together, two men, that was bad enough, but knowing they were also brothers? That would get messy fast.

Dean knew there were monsters in the world, things that went bump in the night, but nothing scared him more than the cruelty of regular people. Sam had been abducted once, had been taken to become part of an awful “game”, and Dean still hadn’t forgiven himself. He wasn’t about to let anything like that happen to Sam ever again.

“Dean?”

“Huh?” It suddenly dawned on him that Sam had been talking. The look on his face, when Dean took a sidelong glance at him, told him he’d asked a question. “Sorry, Sammy, lost me for a second. What?”

“I, uh, was asking if we could just do one bed next time.” Sam’s hand withdrew from the other’s thigh and he set his jaw for a second, “Forget it, though, it’s fi--”

“No, Sammy, we’ll do it tonight. Just… Promise me you’ll stay in the car while I get the room?” Dean’s voice wavered a little and he cleared his throat, absently reaching for the radio. His hand fluttered for a moment, hovering over Sam’s thigh again for a moment before falling back to his own lap. For another five minutes, Metallica soothed his frazzled nerves, before Sam turned it off again.

“Are you ashamed of me?” He asked, voice barely loud enough to be heard over Baby’s engine. Dean slammed the brakes on, squealing and swerving to pull off the highway to come to rest on the shoulder. Turning in his seat, he gave Sam the most confused, insulted look he had in his entire arsenal.

“What the hell, Sam? Of course not!” The yelling made Sam flinch, and he turned away, leaning into the door.

“You’re always so… I don’t know. Like this when people bring it up when people ask about it, or look at us together...” Gesturing vaguely at his brother, Sam couldn’t find it in himself to look at him, but Dean reached over anyway. Startling Sam with how quickly he’d shed his seatbelt, Sam looked over as his chin was taken between the elder’s thumb and forefinger. His lips parted in a question that didn’t get a chance to leave them before Dean was leaning in, kissing his lower lip.

After a moment, the kiss moved up to properly claim them both, and Dean worked his mouth against Sam’s in slow, careful open-mouthed motions. His hand moved up to cup Sam’s cheek, and the hopeless romantic in Sam leaned into it, pushing up into his brother’s touch, melting into him. The center console between them made it a little difficult, sure, but he was managing it well enough. At the very least, Dean didn’t seem to care about it right now, and that spoke volumes for his feelings for his brother.

By the time Dean had nearly crawled over it to land in his brother’s lap, he began to pull back, breathing picked up and eyes half-lidded. Sam sat in awe of the beauty and power of the man in his lap, pinning him to the leather seat beneath him. At least he’d sat up from his earlier sagging.

“I love you, Sammy, you know that, right?” Dean asked, and Sam nodded a little dumbly, “I worry about you… About someone wanting to hurt you over this. Over… Us.” Voice quiet, their lips still close enough to brush against each other, Dean leaned in to lick at his lip again. “I don’t want you to end up dead because of me.”

“I won’t,” Sam replied sternly, whispering as his breath fanned out over the other’s mouth. Moving his lips to Dean’s jaw, and then his neck, he craned against his seatbelt before simply unbuckling it. “I can handle myself, Dean.”

“But what if you can’t?” There was always that chance, and he sucked in a deep breath, holding it. Sam had been making him focus, do these stupid breathing exercises in order to remain calm. They helped, but his pride would never let him admit to it.

“You’re going to help, you always find me. You’ll do whatever you can to help me, and we both know it.” Sam murmured, and the bold confidence that Sam had in him had Dean’s heart swelling. Tugging Sam back in for a kiss, he nodded.

“You’re right, Sammy. You’re never going to shake me, that’s a promise.” Chuckling lightly, he slowly started to slink back to his seat, offering his hand when he was settled and buckled back in. Sam followed suit, holding Dean’s hand and rubbing his thumb over his brother’s knuckles. Dean glanced behind him, pulling back onto the empty freeway with a smile on his lips.

Right now, he could have taken on the world if he had to, his heart soaring with the closeness they had shared.

“Love you, too, Dean.” Sam offered absently, licking his lips before sighing softly, content, “When we get to the next motel, I think we should spend some time together before we do things.”

“We got work to do, Sa--”

“Please?” That little lilt to his voice had Dean giving in almost immediately. He didn’t even have to look at Sam to know that he had those puppy dog eyes on, a pout to his lips. Maybe he hadn’t been pouting earlier, but he certainly was now.

“Yeah, Sammy, we’ll do whatever you want.” Sometimes, Sam could be so manipulative, but Dean always gave in; It kept it going, perpetuating the fact that it did, indeed, work. It never worked on their dad, but Dean would drop everything to do whatever Sam needed from him, as much as it sometimes bothered him.

“Sounds good to me, Dean. You ready?” Reaching over, he hit the radio again, letting Dean sing his heart out as they sped towards their next destination. Baby’s rumbling crescendoed with the music as Dean punched it, sending them flying down the road. This was his own manipulation, as he managed to get Sam clutching his wrist, leaning his head against his arm to avoid looking at the blurry landscape around them. A little closeness on his own terms was never a bad thing.

The speed limit began to slip down, down, down as they found another little rat spit town, and Sam, mindful of Dean’s worries, sat up straight and let go of his hand. Leaning his arm out the window, bent at the elbow, he bobbed his head to the music, missing Dean’s thankful smile.

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AN: Alright, there we have it! I hope you guys enjoyed this, I know I did. It was a lot of fun to play with! Here’s to more Supernatural fics coming from me!

Prompt: Tongue In Cheek

#Supernatural Fanfic #Supernatural Fanfiction #Wincest #Wincest Fanfic #Supernatural Wincest #Sam Winchester #Dean Winchester #SFW

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lovelypurplefox · 4 years ago

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You know, I’m just thinking of quitting Twitter. In the future, I might start fresh again with a new account. But the reason why I want to possibly quit is:

1. Trending topics: My timeline is always filled with this mess. Nothing but trending topics (yesterday my timeline was filled w/ a lot of Butch Hartman; also someone found my reply about him... from LAST YEAR). Today I know Sinnoh and Pokemon D/P was trending all because the official Pokemon Twitter did a countdown with the Sinnoh starters. It’s just like, why? Calm your hype down. It’s not Pokemon Day yet. And I know Youtube is talking about it.

Remember when Pokemon had that Space thing last time and people were speculating Sinnoh remakes but it never happened? ._.

2. Getting noticed: I try my best to be active on the site, and I always post my art when I’m done. But the problem is, only 1/2 or 2 of my followers notice it. Sometimes it may get lost in their timeline... being a Twitter account with 1K followers is hard.

But if I literally post anything that’s not art related, it gets more likes than my art. It’s so.... :(. That’s why I’ve been relying on Instagram more.

3. Missing people’s new drawings/tweets: I miss them a lot and sometimes I rarely see it. Mostly I only see what my followers liked, retweeted, or replied to, I hate it.

4. Drama and rude replies on my tweets: I’ve been through drama on this site before. One time, when I talked about Launch in the Buu Saga (yes she is in the Buu Saga but anime only), someone I follow argued with me saying that it isn’t Launch. I’ve also gotten rude replies, like a lot when I made a poll for fun (it made me upset that I deleted it) and most recently when I joined in on a tag called ”idontsteal” (this tag promotes your art and it also relates to Butch Hartman stealing someone’s fanart) and someone replied to my saying “it looks horrible’. My art doesn’t look horrible, How dare you. I had to block them.

Sorry if this post is long, I’m just feeling bad....

Also I also could be quitting Tumblr, maybe possibly make a new blog (since you can make multiple blogs) since my art is flopping on here and this site cares about gifs, random stuff, and reblogs. And I barely get asks even when I try to reblog an ask meme thing.

I’m done... goodnight...

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luxexhomines · 5 years ago

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married as...?

As I mentioned, I’ll be posting some of my Obey Me! fanfiction here from now on! Feel free to block the tags #obey me or #obey me shall we date if it bothers you. I’ve posted these on AO3, too, but thought that the audience might be slightly different, so I’m putting it on Tumblr, too. It’ll be under the cut so I don’t clog up your dash. If you’re interested in seeing my other works, click here, but be forewarned of NSFW and problematic content. I will post the non-problematic fics on Tumblr later if you’d like to just wait for them here. I also link my works on Twitter when I post them on AO3 if you’d like to hang around there instead @\luxexhomines ! I retweet a lot of art & Obey Me content, sometimes show sneak peeks of WIPs & crappy doodles.

Click here for the AO3 link if you’d like to read there.

Summary: You're woken up in the middle of the night by Leviathan, who has something very important to ask you. What could it be? Note: this was inspired by this Twitter thread and dedicated to the person who made the meme~ ♡

There is a short excerpt at the start that shaped how I thought about, approached and hopefully can be felt from this work.

Every day is full of choices.

And every one of those days, I have chosen you.

From today onward, too, I will continue to choose you.

You’re woken abruptly by someone shaking you. You can faintly hear someone speaking and calling your name.

“...Hey…! Hey! Wake up. I need to ask you something!”

It was Levi’s voice, and it sounded urgent. You rub the sleep from your eyes and rollover. Your husband was in bed beside you, but he was sitting up, looking at you seriously. You cover your yawn with a hand.

“Mmm...what? What is it? Did you realize you forgot to go get in line for the newest The Magical, Mysterious Jane: Peony Phantom figure?”

You try to half sit up, propping yourself up on the pillow, and try to gauge his expression. He looked pretty worried. Even for him, this seemed a little more extreme than usual, although he did sometimes wake you up in the night to tell you he needed to go stand in line for new merchandise or a newly-released game.

He purses his lips, clearly put off as his eyebrows knit together.

“No, it’s not that! I wouldn’t be that worked up over that. I would just let you know and then go.”

You reach out and brush a piece of hair from his face, tucking it behind his ears, watching as his face reddens slightly, and you can’t help but smile. Even after all these years together, he still gets shy. You supposed it was just one of the things you loved about Levi, one of the things that made him Levi.

“Well, then, what is it?” You pause and your sleep-addled brain thinks back as you shift to sit cross-legged on the mattress. “Wait, you said you need to ask me something. What did you want to ask…” you glance at your D.D.D., “at 4:06 am?”

He sulks, his mouth twisting into his characteristic frown.

“This is important! I wouldn’t wake you up for nothing. Listen, I have to know…” he trails off, suddenly appearing timid. Levi’s orange eyes turn away from you now, lingering on some point on the covers of the bed.

“You have to know…?” you prompt.

His eyelashes flutter as he blinks rapidly.

“Um…” Levi turns his heated gaze onto you again and grips your shoulders forcefully. The look in his eyes is serious, almost grave, and his lips are pressed together tightly. He’s still got bedhead from being asleep, and some of his hair is sticking up. You hold yourself back from smoothing it down, seeing as he’s so serious.

“Levi…?”

You’re also starting to feel anxious, seeing the state that he’s in. But you never would have expected the next words out of his mouth.

“Do you like me?”

For a moment, you just gawk at him as your jaw drops open. You keep waiting for him to say that it was just a joke, but he looks completely sober and still doesn’t give. His eyes are wide and he looks so pitiful that he’s starting to remind you more of a puppy you picked up off the streets than the handsome demon you’d married. His hands slide off your shoulders dolefully.

You shut your mouth.

“...You’re serious.” When he nods, you resist the urge to facepalm. “Levi, I married you.”

Again, he’s frowning. You want to reach out and straighten that grumpy mouth into a smile, but you can’t help but think he’s still adorable, even when he’s not in the best of moods. He puts a hand to his mouth, the way he always does when he’s trying to hide how he feels, however unsuccessful those attempts may be.

“Yeah, but did you marry me as a friend, or as a significant other?”

You stifle a chuckle at first but can’t help bursting into laughter. Meanwhile, he’s staring at you like you’ve gone crazy as you hold your stomach, aching from your mirth.

“Pfft...Levi! I can’t believe you’re asking me this. And after we’ve been married for a few years already.”

Levi only looks more unhappy as his eyebrows furrow inward, glaring at you sharply.

“Well, it was unclear.”

Seeing how disheartened he is, you sober up and offer a soft smile.

“Levi, of course I married you as a significant other. I love you. I thought I already told you. Or at least, that you knew.”

He freezes, and red creeps onto his face. He hunches over slightly, pouting as he pins his gaze to the mattress.

“I, well… I thought maybe you’d meant it as friends. Since we’re true best friends.”

“Look at me, Levi.”

He does, raising his head, and you take the chance to cup his glowing cheeks and lean in, placing a sweet kiss on his lips, those lips that expressed so much, those lips that couldn’t lie.

When you pull back, you see that the redness on his cheeks has grown deeper a shade.

“Y-You should have warned me…! You know that I’m still not used to this…”

You laugh, thoroughly amused.

“Well, it served its purpose. Do true best friends kiss?” You put a hand to his cheek again and brush your thumb over his lips, faintly pink, pliant. “On the lips?”

You can feel the warmth of his body beneath your fingers as you caress his cheek, the softness of his skin, and your heart begins to race. Despite your teasing, you weren’t completely used to this either. And you felt like you might never be used to it- although, you were okay with that. You loved him.

Levi puts a hand to his neck, rubbing it. He’s still red. Of course he is.

“I mean, no, but… You and I are special, aren’t we? Even just as friends.”

His gaze is sincere and direct, full of the warmth you loved in him, and a hint of coolness in the tint of purple within. You’re smiling before you know it.

“Yeah, we are.” You lift his bangs and kiss him on the forehead firmly. “But you’re my true best friend and my significant other. There’s a difference. That’s why you asked, isn’t it?”

This time, he flushes a lovely fuschia, stammering his response.

“I-I told you to warn me, didn’t I…?” He drops his gaze and the corners of his lips turn down, but you can sense fondness within. “But yeah, you’re right. That’s why I asked.”

You give him a break from your touch and withdraw, although the sensation of his skin lingers on your fingers. One side of your mouth quirks upward as you raise your eyebrows.

“Do you need further proof? Or shall we go back to bed?”

Levi is still at first, but then he processes the implications of your words, and he flops back into the bed and under the covers rather quickly. He turns away from you, but you can still see the crimson hue on his ears.

“N-No…! I’m good, let’s go back to sleep!”

You settle back into the bed as well with a knowing smile.

“If you say so. I love you, Levi.” You reach over to his broad back and trace a heart on that warm canvas, although he immediately stiffens upon feeling your touch. “I’ll say it every day to remind you from now on since you still seem like you don’t believe me. Can you feel what I drew on your back?”

You trace the heart again, your finger running along the curves and muscles of his back. Levi relaxes slightly, letting go of his tension.

“...You don’t have to do that,” he whisper-mumbles, bashful. “I-Is that a heart?”

You rub his head, ruffling his hair.

“Yeah, good work.” You trace another shape on his back. “I don’t have to do anything, Levi. I want to. Because I love you.”

For a time, silence greets you, and you think he might have fallen asleep as you lazily trace the shape a few more times.

“Is it a star?”

You stop and rub his head again.

“Yeah! You’re good at this, aren’t you? Maybe you’ve got a sensitive back.”

His reply is barely audible.

“No, I’m just sensitive to your touch…”

You shift closer. Did you hear that right?

“What did you say?”

Even facing away from you, he brings his hands to his face, covering it shyly.

“Nothing! I didn’t say anything!”

You chuckle. At this distance, you can hear his heartbeat, quick and hard. You press a kiss to his upper back, right along his spine, slow but sure. You let your lips linger a moment longer than usual, firm and flush against him before you allow yourself to draw back.

“Do you know what I just did?” you murmur.

His heartbeat is accelerating, and his body is tense. There’s a pause. Only the rhythm of your hearts and the coming and going of your breaths accompany it.

“...I thought I told you to warn me,” is all he says, his voice unsteady. Then, uncertainly, “Did...was...is that a kiss?” His last few words are hesitant, quiet, wavering.

Another rub to the head for Leviathan, you think to yourself. Or at least, that’s what you’d planned on, but instead, he turns and catches your wrist mid-air. Those riveting orange eyes have captured yours in a heartbeat. They’re mere inches away.

“It’s not fair,” he grouses. “It’s my turn.”

Levi’s lips are on yours, and you barely even register the soft, loving warmth before it’s gone again, and you’re left in a daze as your eyes glaze over. He releases your wrist from his hold. Then, heat rushes to your own cheeks, and you put a hand to them to check- they were burning. Your eyes trail up to his again, and his candid gaze only makes your cheeks hotter. You tighten your lips and your eyebrows crease as you stare at him flusteredly.

“...Why didn’t you warn me…?”

He’s smug. A cocky smile stretches across his face.

“You didn’t warn me, so-mmph!”

You sealed those self-satisfied lips with your own once again, a hand draped over Levi’s back to pull him in closer. You’re still burning up, but you don’t care anymore. As long as you’re with him.

When you part from him, both of you are ruddy-cheeked, glowing.

“I love you, Leviathan.”

His eyes are soft now, warm like the golden liquid kindness of the afternoon sun, tender like the petals of orange carnations.

“I love you, too.”

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hayesit · 5 years ago

Text

matt’s 2019 year in review

here it is! and it’s late because i had other/better things to do (and procrastinating), was recovering from hangovers (also procrastinating), and recovering from being sick (procrastinating).

i’ve been doing these year in review posts since 2016, so here is my fourth installment. every year i look back through my google calendar, my camera roll, and my bullet journal as a gratitude exercise and to chart my own development as an adult.

here is my spotify wrapped 2019!

the beginning of this year was off to a good start: i met two friends that i know through the internet! i met my friend riley when she visited boston (i met her through a mutual friend and through overwatch league twitter) and my friend jimmy that i’ve known for…. 6 or 7 years (?!) through tumblr and designed the logo for me and alex’s late podcast, hardly tea, may she rest in peace.

i moved dorm rooms in between the fall and spring semester, and once again i was not happy with where i lived. i lived with 4 rando’s that i was placed with and the 5 of us barely even talked with each other. my direct roommate i saw for only two weeks, and for the nights he slept over in the bed (that he was paying room and board for) and had the worst snoring humanly possible that not even earplugs could kill (video below). i hardly slept while he was there and roamed the halls of riverview suites like a ghost due to the anxiety i felt about my lack of sleep (we love a vicious circle)! he disappeared after those two weeks without notice and i lived in fear of him returning for the rest of the semester (which he didn’t), but returned to my normal sleep schedule.

youtube

that semester was my first semester of full-time grad school. i got a poor grade on an assignment that had a note from the professor that said she knew i could do better and it hit me how much different grad school is from undergrad and how much more effort and dedication it requires. after crying in my professor’s office, my work ethic has improved since then, but it’s not anywhere near where i’d like it to be (more on that later).

now to more positive things for the spring semester: i met some friends that semester both ~on and offline~ that made the semester far more bearable AND i did however truly pop off in every last one of my powerpoint presentations for class. i looooove making powerpoints and just fuckin telling jokes about my research topic and have ppl tell me that they are looking forward to my presentation & that i should teach college classes :)!

me and 4 friends had a social group in which we’d drink and play board games and forget about the board game and drunkenly talk shit called cabam after all our first initials! i always looked forward to that and dug the group chemistry a lot.

during this semester i grew a “ beard “, otherwise known as i chose not to shave just to “ see what would happen “ (praythatitfilledin). sorry about that!

the overwatch league was something that i had to look forward to watch every week and i had my experience enhanced through sideshow and avast’s unofficial companion streams, which guaranteed lots of laughs. i have bought tickets to two boston home games in 2020 which i am very excited about! analysts have predicted boston to be in 20th place this year (there are 20 teams) but i’m still excited for the 2020 season anyway!!

i can’t have a year-in-review of 2019 without mentioning game of thrones. due to the show’s final season being undeniably weak, i enjoyed the camaraderie with the other people that watched thrones during those six weeks. i haven’t thought about the show or its universe for quite a while, unfortunately. i truly was quite into the world of westeros, but the weakness of the end of the story cheapened the journey of each of the characters, in a way. such a shame.

while i got my diploma in december 2018, i walked across the stage of umass lowell’s tsongas arena with my bachelor of arts in psychology (and minor in theatre arts). it wasn’t as emotional or triumphant of an experience and just felt weird, considering i had already gotten my diploma and was going to remain in the clutches of rowdy the riverhawk as i am staying for my masters degree in applied behavior analysis/autism studies. i brought a ceramic monkey to graduation. it didn’t have any symbolism, but i just wanted to see if they’d stop me (which they didn’t)

this summer was better than most summers of mine go, i hung out with alex nearly every weekend, got my very first iphone, and got a data plan. the combination of these three things got me back into playing pokemon go, an unexpectedly fun pastime! went on lots of walks!

my favorite day of summer was going to a lake with alex and our friend gianna, who i grew closer to after meeting her during macbeth last year. fond 2019 memories with gianna include: doing simulation patients with her, watching movies with her and alex, and the halloween party. what a great gd person and a great gd friend! big fan and eternally rooting for her.

fire emblem: three houses came out on the switch in august and is, without a doubt, my game of the year. there’s truly so much to love about the game: the world, the characters, new changes made to the series, things that were gone but returned, interesting micromanaging, and best of all, how huge my brain feels when playing it.

i got a 6-week summer job as a paraprofessional at an extended-school-year program for children with developmental disabilities at a preschool in haverhill which taught me a lot of lessons, such as: i hate cleaning shit off of children.

then i had feelings that didn’t make much sense for about a month! whoops!

my full-time job i currently have is working at my old high school as a behavior specialist. i provide consultation and work on programs to lead to more appropriate behavior in students, primarily ones with developmental disabilities. so far it’s been fairly rewarding, some days are more challenging than others, some days are a lot of sitting in meetings, and some days are a lot of running around. some days there is not much to do at all, which has its obvious upsides and downsides. working at the high school isn’t something that i want to do forever, but it’s a good place to start with. i’m definitely learning a lot and there are a lot of benefits to working here. sometimes i can work on my grad school work (which is all online until the 2020 summer semester) which is definitely huge. and my commute is either a 15 minute walk or 3 minutes if my mom drives me!

a ~complex~ thing about working in my hometown is that it makes the most financial sense to live at home because it’s so close to work. this is my first time living at home full-time since high school and i’m not enjoying that part too much. most weekends i visit alex in lowell, but being stuck at home with no car (going to retake the license test in the spring when the ice melts!) and having to go to bed so early definitely hurts. sure, i have what is likely the lowest amount of expenses i’ll ever have in my life (no car-related payments, no rent, no groceries), but i feel landlocked. i feel like a teenager with minimal freedom, which is in part because my mom doesn’t quite understand yet that i’m a 22 year-old that should have a lot more freedom than i do now. the most i really do on weekdays after work gets out (2:30p) is go to savers with my mom if it’s tuesday (senior citizen day), maybe go for a walk if it’s nice out (which for most of the school year, it isn’t), or be on the computer watching bon appetit videos and playing overwatch, fire emblem, or pokemon, eat a bland dinner at 6, go to bed at around 9:30. sad! truly not a situation that i want to be trapped in that much that much longer!

i think the best and most important part of this year was becoming closer with alex. as i mentioned before, we see each other most weekends, to our great benefit. our living situations have flip-flopped, with me living at home and alex living in an apartment near campus, which in both similar and different ways have taken their respective tolls on us. having each other while going through changes and stagnations in our lives has been immeasurably important. thank you alex for providing a place to be myself other than my own head. thank you for being my best friend.

now i come to the thing that i’m most excited about for 2020. not 2 suck my own horn but i have cobbled together a fuckin dream team of five friends (me, alex, chris, kelly, and molly). the two times we have all gotten together it has been so satisfying in such a wonderful and otherworldly way that i am filled to the brim of happiness being around them. the craziest thing is that i met chris and kelly through twitter! TWITTER. and they’re real-ass people and my real-ass friends! i haven’t been so pleased with something in my life like this for so long and it feels so good to have adult friends that i have chosen rather than friends by circumstance. it’s truly a crime that we can’t see each other more often, but we already have a day picked out for the next time we all do something together. feeling emotional writing this paragraph bc i love me gd friends so much!

there is a lot of uncertainty about this new year for me. i sure as fuck don’t want to live at home more than i have to but don’t know where to go, my practicum class starts for me this summer which means i’ll most likely have to change jobs (fine by me, but will be exhausting), i recently began my search for therapists and hope to find one soon to help me ~unpack things~, my thesis begins in the fall semester and i don’t know what to do for it, and i’m not 100% dead-set on working in special education. it’s been hard transitioning from living on campus and going to school full-time to the life i have now.

#year in review #personal

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sanderssidesfanfiction · 6 years ago

Text

It’s (Not) Over, Isn’t It? Chapter Six

Chapter Masterlist

Warnings for transphobia and misgendering this chapter

Patton was giggling on his phone in the library while he waited for the computer he was using to boot up. The Discord was buzzing away, and he loved lurking as he waited to get work done. Virgil was doing a lot of talking over the past week, getting used to the size of the server and warming up to the others who he talked to the most. Patton was especially proud whenever he saw Virgil and Logan talking, because Logan’s meta meeting Virgil’s fanfic was virtually unrivaled in awesomeness.

virgilent: so, what you’re saying is...if you write a meta about greg universe’s flip-flop tan lines, you want me to nod to it in an upcoming fic?

Sherlock Holmes: yes. problem?

virgilent: well, i think that writing a meta on something so small is ridiculous, but it’s whatever.

Sherlock Holmes: all questions about me writing metas have been serious before this. why would now be any different?

virgilent: because it’s greg universe’s flip-flop tan lines!!!

There was a pregnant pause on the server, everyone seemingly holding their breath.

Sherlock Holmes: i’m going to write the meta regardless

virgilent: it’s your funeral, man

Papa Patton: now come on, boys, play nice!

virgilent: that is nice

Patton rolled his eyes and shook his head, a small smile on his face. He knew he hadn’t known Virgil or Logan for very long, not really. But they already felt like good friends, friends he could trust. Granted, he felt that way about most people on the server, so maybe he shouldn’t just jump straight to conclusions, but...

His computer finally started and he was torn away from his phone to do research for his essay. The topic was something he specifically chose because he could get fired up about it; transgender rights. More specifically, why transgender individuals out of the closet should be allowed to serve in the military.

He knew this wasn’t going to make him many friends; colleges were usually liberal but that didn’t mean that all the people in his classes were. And those who weren’t, infuriatingly enough, seemed to be more popular, gathering people onto their side, the side that whatever Patton did was wrong, and he was just a “confused little girl”. He had learned to hate that phrase last year. He had hoped this semester would be different, but the campus was only so big. He still got snide comments from across the quad frequently.

But that wasn’t going to stop him from being himself. He was allowed a single room since he was an Resident Assistant for the freshman dorms, and he enjoyed being able to talk to the new kids and help them figure out things about the campus and about themselves. And he was going to stand up for them, even if he couldn’t stand up for himself.

Sifting through tweets for reliable sources was a nightmare, but Patton was willing to do it if it meant getting a good grade on this paper. If he did a good enough job he might even show it to Logan, see if they approved of it or if it stood up to Logan’s meta. Most of their metas read like college essays to begin with.

His phone buzzed with a notification and he allowed himself to be drawn away from his research just long enough to see that the notification was from Tumblr, and he had an ask. I wonder who that’s from, he thought to himself. Ah, I can check on it later.

Later wound up being about ten minutes, because sifting through Twitter was incredibly dull. It was from Logan, a quick question from his most recent ask meme. Amethyst: If you could shapeshift into anything, what would you be?

Patton thought long and hard about how to respond. He was torn between a dog and a cat, because he loved cats, but he didn’t want to be allergic to himself, and he liked dogs, but he didn’t want to be pet by random strangers all the time. Eventually he decided on cat, because personal space was a bit more important to him than allergies.

I’d be a cat, Logan! I really really like cats, and plus you don’t get random pets from strangers all the time if you’re a cat like if you were a dog! It was a bit of a silly answer, but he enjoyed silly answers. He posted the ask and went back to research.

Half an hour passed and Patton had the required amount of sources he needed for the essay and decided that he’d go back to his dorm and talk to his friends on his personal computer. A little reward for all that work.

Walking across the quad, he saw one of the popular boys who liked to rag on him notice and start his way. “Hey, Patton!” he yelled.

Patton braced himself and forced a smile on his face as he turned to face the boy, whose name he was pretty sure was Preston. “Yeah?” he asked. “Can I help with something?”

“Yeah, you can,” Preston said with a sneer. “You can go back to the girl’s wing of the dorms and keep your lady parts away from the men’s room.”

Patton swallowed and kept the smile on his face. He knew a little bit about Preston, how he had a hard life growing up, what with the birthmark covering half his face, and that now he was at college he was trying to take his power back. It allowed him to empathize a little with the other man, but it didn’t mean his comment didn’t sting.

“Sorry, Preston, but I can’t really do that. You see, I’m a guy, and having a guy living in the girls wing is kinda not good,” Patton said.

Preston sneered. “But you’re not really a guy,” he snarled.

Patton’s smile fell a fraction. “Well, you’ll have to tell that to my legal documents,” he said, before walking away.

“You won’t get away with this!” Preston yelled. “I’ll prove to everyone how you’ve deceived them!”

Patton suppressed a shiver and got away as fast as he could without running. Tears were clouding his vision and he was crying by the time he shoved his shaking hands’ keys into his dorm lock. He tried to fight off the thoughts that were taunting him, saying You’re not a guy, never have been and never will be, but he didn’t have the energy.

He turned around once in his dorm, locked the door, and sat down heavily at his desk, tears streaming down his face. It got easier, over the years, to ignore the barbs he was thrown, but it always, always stung, and after his research project today? Well, he had enough of a sour mood already that he was surprised it took him that long to cry.

The second he signed onto Discord, Virgil started typing. First a greeting, and then a request to join the voice chat. Patton didn’t really want to, but he didn’t want to say no, either, especially to Virgil, who was still really sensitive about saying the wrong thing in the wrong place. Papa Patton: is it okay if i stay muted? i’m not up for talking right now

virgilent: yeah, sure. so long as you’re okay?

Papa Patton: yeah, don’t worry about me, i’m fine, just dealing with a sore throat

He joined the voice chat once muted and he was met with a few scattered and quiet cheers. Virgil’s icon lit up and Patton was surprised by the deep voice that greeted him. “Hey, Patton. Nice to talk to you, sorta.”

Papa Patton: nice to be here

“Everything okay? I don’t think you’d usually be the type to be muted, even with a sore throat.”

Papa Patton: it’s a long story, and probably one that’s better suited for PM. don’t want to trigger anyone.

“Fair enough, though that has me worried,” Virgil said. “I could PM you my Skype and we could call there? Or just on here works, too.”

Papa Patton: no, skype’s fine by me. i’ll pm you my account

#it's (not) over isn't it?#sanders sides fanfiction #patton sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #our creations

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neokollection · 6 years ago

Note

If SM debut the rookies with the China line I can almost guarantee that Winwin will still not get the recognition he deserves ☹ if people are already dropping Lucas then they will drop Winwin too 😥

Or think about this.Many Chinese youngsters are already fans of the Kwave and Kpop. I mean EXO made Chinese songs, but they kinda flopped, but the Kpop wave has drawn ppl from all over Asia [and the world]. So, maybe think about it like this; they’ll probably gain a lot of new Chinese fans who’ll be excited to see Chinese members in Kpop and understand it all. China’s population is huge, so keep in mind they might actually gain a lot more fans than they “lose” if this new unit actively promotes in China with Chinese songs.

Also, srry but the fandom on twitter n tumblr is like not that big and the percentage of ppl ‘dropping’ their previous bias is smol so like, keep in mind the numbers here are kinda small and it’s not like actually capsizing the NCTzen boat or w/e.

It’s natural for ppl to be interested in the new members, but we literally don’t know them or who they actually are so… I think many ppl might be joking when they’re like ‘lmao bye Lucas, Yang is calling’ or smthng [he gets a lot of teasing and tough love anyway, luv ya froggy]. But how could ppl dump someone who’s talked to them and performed, I mean- we’ve seen so much of Lucas, it’s hard to believe ppl would get up and leave him for a boy whose personality they don’t even know and has like 5 pictures… Maybe that’s just me tho [but I know it’s not] I’m all about that deeper meaning.

I’m rlly curious what they’ll do with Win… I mean these new boys like Hendrey will probably take the place as ‘the visual’ and we’ve already seen some clips of XiaoJun performing and know he’s no joke and will prolly b blessed with lines. But who knows, maybe SM has a plan for him [maybe he didn’t feel comfortable getting a strong cast of lines with U or 127 bc Korean or it wasn’t his style of song. If they’re catering to a Chinese audience maybe they’ll create song types he’s more familiar or comfortable with and maybe he will be more open to accepting or asking for bigger parts since it’s in a language he knows].

#he kinda shy and i feel not that confident when compared to the other boys like doyoung or taeyong #visuals is somthing else- but im talking about vocals #so he prolly rejects parts even if he's worried its too much or jaehyun could sing it better----#if u can't tell....#im an optimist #so im hoping he'll stop taking the backseat and feel more confident as an older member and with chinese

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megacircuit9universe · 4 years ago

Text

TikTok’s Reprieve

MON AUG 03 2020

Things have actually gotten a little better since the last entry. The Homeland Security guys were removed from Portland, and never got deployed anywhere else.

And Trump, after threatening to ban TikTok in no uncertain terms, announced yesterday that he will hold off for 45 days, allowing Microsoft time to negotiate a purchase of TikTok.

Microsoft had begun such talks a while back, when the TikTok ban was first floated by Secretary of State Pompeo.

Microsoft actually backed off and halted talks when Trump began tweeting about doing the ban for real, last week... but then Trump seems to have realized, Oh, wait!..

Having all that data on all those users in federal hands could be more useful than pissing off every voter between 18 and 30, to run to the polls. And maybe he could strong arm a little kick back from Microsoft... you know... like he always angles for.

Either way, TikTok is off the hook for that Tulsa rally prank... for now.

I, personally, am very fascinated by what a Microsoft owned TikTok would be like!..

Thus far, Microsoft has zero social media presence. They tried several years ago, to break into the smartphone market with an OS, but it was a huge flop.

Prior to that, the last time Microsoft really got all up in the face of the internet was back during the browser wars of the late 1990s, and early 2000s... going up against Netscape, with Internet Explorer and...

...really fighting to control how web pages were coded, by having a browser engine that dealt with HTML differently than Netscape* and recognized tags that Nescape didn’t... shaping the final format of the desktop browser internet as we know it today.

They won that browser war eventually... but then lost it to Google Chrome a few years later. Their tepid answer was Bing... which only survives because it’s the default for so many corporate workstations.

But Microsoft missed the whole social media revolution entirely.

YouTube and Twitter were two of the first, followed by Instagram, Tumblr, Snapchat, etc... all bought up by big online conglomerates like Google, Yahoo, or Facebook... while Microsoft sat quietly by... totally focused on Windows 10, and nothing else.

But it is the triumph of Windows 10, that makes me think a Microsoft owned social media app, like TikTok... the coolest that ever was... could result in some far reaching, life changing, stuff... the likes of Google buying YouTube.

YouTube is now the undisputed video platform of the modern world. It’s not just TV, Movies, and personal videos... but a library of Alexandria magnitude database of knowledge, in the form of educational and how-to videos... as well as a great news resource.

Okay, back to Windows 10. I call it a triumph, because it’s finally become a self-updating OS, that is simultaneously, forever backward compatible. W10 has perfected the virtual machines inside itself, which can run any app that ever ran on any previous version of Windows, back to the start.

Hell, it has a virtual machine to run DOS just like the old days!

It entrenches Windows into the universe, the same way the qwerty keyboard is entrenched, or the width of train tracks were entrenched by ancient Roman chariots... it doubles down hard on keeping the computer... as we knew it... a thing we will still know tomorrow.

Compare that to the currently flopping adventure from Google into the laptop market, with tiny laptops, called chromebooks, run by Chrome OS. Nobody wants them. They’re just glorified tablets... which are just glorified phones.

Where are our windows? Where is our start bar? Where is our folder system, and our millions of programs we’ve come to love over the past thirty years?

Phones are one universe... computers are another. That seems set in stone now, and Windows will never be directly compatible with Android, or Apple based phones/tablets... but that’s a good thing.

Back to TikTok...

Imagine if Microsoft brought back the legendary Windows Movie Maker, in a new form for editing TikTok videos! How awesome would that be?

Windows Movie Maker was the MS Paint of desktop video editing. It was free with Windows, and it was amazing! I’m sure that it had a huge hand in getting YouTube off the ground, back in the early days, when it was all just reguar people with digital camera footage in their bedrooms.

I’m not sure why they discontinued it, but they did with Vista.

If a verson of Movie Maker were to come back to the desktop, in the form of a TikTok extension... holy shit!

But TikTok also has licensing agreements with a vast library of musical artists, and other audio resources, so, Microsoft could easily spin off a Spotify type playlist feature, and a GarageBand/ Myspace type unsigned indie music feature, that would dominate that unmet demand for such things, in 2020.

Currently, Amazon Music, Spotify, SoundCloud, and several others, including YouTube, have been clumbsily grasping at this music market... with shitty results.

Spotify’s falling out of favor, because of it’s obnoxious adds. SoundCloud is a vanity publishing service where unknown artitst pay for exposure, but there’s no access to anything else. And Amazon Music is great for both indie and published musicians, but... only gets used by Amazon Prime members, which means they cannot share playlists with most people.

A universal music sharing superstructure, free to everybody, that compensates the artists... like YouTube for video creators... does not exist, but could soon, if Microsoft buys TikTok and develops it along logical lines.

In fact, if they spin off longer form branches of the app... the five minute vid... the thirty minute vid... the ninety minute vid... they’d supplant YouTube.

...or at least force YouTube to step up it’s game, considerably.

This could be a gold mine for Microsoft... if they don’t screw it up.

They’ve already announced that, should the purchase go through, Microsoft will oversee TikTok in Canada, America, and Australia... which is a great start on dominating Europe, and eventually getting back into India, where it is currenly banned.

It will be ineresting to see what comes of all this in the months and years ahead.

But for tonight... it’s time for bed.

*Netscape rose to popularity by enabling it’s own in-browser HTML tags, that were not yet part of the WC3 (World Wide Web Consortium 3.0) standards. And their tags enabled images to be featured inline with text, as well as other innovative reaches that forced the WC to play catch-up, while wagging a naughty finger.

This forced a, “cambrian explosion” of web design and content.

Microsoft engaged in the same tactics, with MSIE, but rendered pages differently and had it’s own unique tags, and document model to be accessed by Javascript, forcing web designers to choose between Netscape, or IE compatability... or some convoluted compromise.

Eventualy IE won out, but was supplanted by Google Chrome, as the universal browser of the world.

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edierone · 7 years ago

Text

Found a whole goddamn notebook in the dumpster this time

no idea whose handwriting this is or why they’d write it or who it’s supposed to be about but it’s fun isn’t it? happy ficlet fantasy friday!

Drifting up from a warm, dozy sleep, she feels the bed shifting under her, and the weight of an arm draped across her. She smiles, keeping her eyes closed, snuggling against him. He keeps moving, though, instead of settling in, and she mumbles, “What’re you doin?”

He’s propped himself up on one elbow behind her, the arm over her doing something complicated.

“Taking a bed selfie.”

“Huh?” She still hasn’t opened her eyes. What the fuck time is it, anyway?

“A bed selfie.”

Like that explains it.

One eye, then the other, slides reluctantly open, and she can make out his iPhone a few inches away in the dimness. They’re both in the frame, grainy and low-res; her hair is spilled out over the pillow, her bare shoulder exposed, his muscled arm disappearing into the corner where his hand is holding the phone. His thumb touches the button.

“It’s gonna be a week till we see each other again — I need a souvenir for when I get lonely,” he says.

Aww, he’s gonna miss me!, she thinks, charmed. Better give him something good to keep him warm up here.

“Hi, sexy!” she purrs, rubbing her backside against him.

He laughs, low in his throat, then kisses her temple, caressing her face with his own. He leans over her, resting his phone hand on the bed next to them.

“Mmm … love you,” he murmurs against her ear.

“Love you too,” she sighs. She turns her head to get his lips properly on hers, but something catches her eye.

“Babe — you’ve got it in video mode,” she giggles.

“What? No I don’t — oh yeah — ha! Nearly made a bed selfie sex tape. Hold on a sec —”

He squints at the phone, holding it back out a bit, then touches the button again, stopping the recording.

She kisses him lightly, eyes slipping shut again, and says “Send that to me tomorrow, will you? I might get lonely too.”

She knows he’s smiling in the dark, she can hear it when he says, “I’ll send it to you right now.”

“Mkay,” she sighs, feeling the heaviness of sleep creeping up again. She’s not sure how many minutes have gone by when she hears him again, all the cozy flirtiness gone from his voice.

“Uhhh … hm. That’s not — how did I — shit.”

“What is it?” she manages, vaguely alarmed by the flat worry she hears. Before he can answer, there’s a distinctive ping from her own phone on the bedside table.

She’s awake now. “Did you schedule a tweet for this time of night?”

He looks at her, confused. He has no idea what she’s talking about. She sits up, turns on the lamp and reaches for her phone, and sees a notification illuminating the screen.

And there it is, the reason for that sound, the custom tone she’s had put on her phone solely for his posts that tag her on social media sites: He’s somehow managed to tweet something, minutes ago, from his public account, and mention her.

“Bed selfie - miss you already,” it says, and then the video.

“Oh no …”

Her heart is triphammering, she feels a little sick. He looks at her, face full of dread.

Wordlessly, she holds it up for him to see. He presses the “play” icon, and they watch, heads together.

The camera is unsteady, and the lighting is isn’t great — but the sound is clear, and it’s absolutely, definitely her, and him. Together, in bed, obviously intimate and comfortable … and sexual as all hell. Twenty-four seconds. Time stamp, 3:23 a.m. today.

“Ffffffffuuuuuuuuck,” he groans.

“Oh shit,” she breathes.

“How do I get it back? Can I delete that? Oh goddammit —“

“Christ — how did you even DO that? Why do you even have the app on your own fucking phone?”

“I was — I don’t know! I sent it and then I went to check my email and then I looked back — you know I don’t know how this shit works! I thought I was messaging it to you — it’s fucking three thirty in the morning, I can’t —”

“Give me that!” She takes his phone, deletes the tweet, but knows that’s not all there is to it. She shoves it back into his hand. “Call whatsherface, Kylie or whatever her name is, the girl that does your social shit — call her right now. Or text her — both! Get hold of her right now!”

He’s frantically trying to do just that, while she opens her own Twitter app and deletes the tweet from her feed. It’s only been sixteen minutes since it was posted, and it’s the middle of the night, maybe nobody saw it?

Yeah, no.

It’s 3:45 a.m. in Vancouver, but it’s midday in Europe, and early risers are already up in New York. Fuck.

She watches, fascinated, as the number of notifications on her page begins to climb. Against her better judgment, she takes a look at what’s coming in — not sixty seconds after the time stamp, there’s a lot of “holy shit” and “OMFG” and “this is real! I live!” and so on. She opens her stealth tumblr account — same fucking story. There are screen caps already! What the fuck is wrong with people? It reminds her of one of those virus-outbreak movies, where one sick person infects ten more and they infect twenty more each and yada yada the breakdown of civilization. This won’t end civilization, but it sure as hell might fuck shit up for the two of them (including, probably, the final nail in the coffin of that other thing she’s had going on the last few months).

And then, shortly after they’d deleted the goddamn tweet, now five minutes in the past, a flood of “wait, what happened?” “WTFF what is going on” and “THE LINK WON’T WORK THE TWEET IS GOOOONE!”

Meanwhile, he’s located Katey or Kimmy or whomever, who’s now yelling at him from someplace with loud voices and music. She’s only half-listening to their conversation, but the gist of it seems to be that there’s nothing they can do now but damage control — they deleted it from their accounts, sure, but any number of people have seen it, re-tweeted it, screen-capped it — and downloaded and saved the video for re-posting.

Annnnnd here’s one on her tumblr dash: “i am the goddess of true love! I bring you deleted video, resurrected! Look upon my works and rejoice!”

The video is in it. Fuck. She touches the play icon, hears “It’s gonna be a week till we see each other again” — double fuck. It’s the real thing. It works. “Mmmm, love you …”

He finally hangs up on Kristie/Kelly/Kyra.

“ …You’ve got it in video mode” [giggle]

She hits pause, afraid to look at him right now. They’ve been so, SO careful, and protected themselves so well — everything ambiguous, smokescreens deployed, deniability maintained … well, mostly. Nothing they can’t handle. But this here — this is the smoking gun. She wants to shout at him, to ask him what the fuck he was thinking, how could he be so careless, how could he expose them like this, why didn’t he just wait till tomorrow to send it to her like she asked? Put on his goddamn reading glasses, for fuck’s sake?

But she knows he already feels awful, so she just squeezes her eyes shut and tries to breathe calm into her body. She doesn’t want to have a screaming fight right before she flies to another continent. This isn’t the old days — she’s fucking calm and fucking mature and they will deal with this like fucking grownups.

He sits on the bed, folded up with his head on his knees. An inarticulate groan comes from his general direction. “They’re gonna dissect this like the fucking Zapruder film,” he laments, and she barks startled laughter.

He looks up at last, surprised that she’s not trying to strangle him.

“How bad is it?” He gestures toward her phone.

Cringing slightly, she selects a representative post from tumblr: It’s the video, reblogged from the alleged “goddess of true love,” and right underneath it, a gif of Elmo in front of flames. The post has 290 notes already. The tags are a jubilant, nonsensical volcano of words and phrases she only partly understands — fucc me uppp, slay my entire ass, asdfjkl;lskj, platonic adult friends, i love dying and death and being dead, MURDER ME, why are they like this NEVER STOP, fight me, they’re gonna kill me, im spiraling, it’s a dumpster fire and i’m in it.

“Whyyyyy …” he moans, dropping his head into his hands.

“Most of America is still asleep, too. Just wait. It’s going to be so much worse.”

More inarticulate sounds of misery from him, then: “You know, if somebody assassinated the fucking President, the news wouldn’t spread this fast,” he mumbles. It’s only a slight exaggeration.

She flops dramatically onto her back, addresses the ceiling: “So. What do we do now? Deny and obfuscate?”

He laughs, loud and happy, for the first time since the phrase “bed selfie” came into their lives. “Fuck yeah!”

He stretches out and rolls over onto her prone body, covering her like a blanket, starts kissing his way down her neck. She shoves at him — not very convincingly — and grumbles “What’re you doing? Shouldn’t we start doing damage control?”

“Now??? Nahhh … it’s already out there.” He kisses her deeply, then murmurs into her ear, “We’re gonna do the time — might as well do the crime.” Reasonable, he’s always so reasonable …

“Hard to argue with that,” she says, shivering a little, running her hands over his broad back. Her heart speeds up and heat pools at her center, her physical responses to his touch as reliable as ever, yet still somehow surprising even after all these years. “Guess we’re pretty well fucked —”

“Oh, yeah,” he says against the hollow of her throat, then raises his head to look her in the eye — his expression the same one that’s gotten them into this kind of trouble a thousand times in the last 25 years, and will a thousand times more. “We’re definitely gonna be that.”

--------------------------------

@justholdinghandsok @becksndot5 @whatfallsaway @iva69s @guitargirl48 @emceecapitalc @inkcollectorus @lostlastsforever756

#no idea who wrote this #i just transcribed it #it was all bent and torn and had coffee grounds all in it #but i thought it was cute #things i found in the dumpster

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blondiefrommars-blog · 7 years ago

Text

Mountains Chapter 2: The Resort

For those that wanted to be tagged sorry, I very new to tumblr, and I am having issues on how to use this. I’m hoping I am putting the tags in the right places now...@lolainblue @fyeahproudglambert

Thursday. It was 6 AM and someone was banging on my front door. I was dressed in my pajamas still. I had on “Arkham” pants, and an inside out tank top. My long blonde locks were a tangled mess. I’m sure I had the remains of eyeliner and mascara all over my face. Not to mention my eyes were blurry as hell. The pounding continued

“Who the fuck is it?” I yelled.

“Open the door, Emma.” The invader retorted. It was Sam. I looked in the direction of the clock on the wall in the living room. I blinked a couple times. 6:10 AM. As I unlocked the door, I said roughly, “You know Chris isn’t going to be here until 8, right?” Sam barged in and dropped his bags by the door. “Yeah, but I didn’t wanna drive so I got a cab.” He snapped back as he flopped down on my day bed, grabbing the throw blanket off the back, curling up. I could hear his breathing get deeper and steadier. He was already passed back out.

I retreated back to the comfort of my own bed, burrowing back into the depths. Dreams of Jared Leto’s Joker haunted me. I was jerked awake when I felt a body next to me. Sam. He always like to wake me up. “Emma. Its 7:30.” He said softly. He was like a brother to me. He brushed some of my hair away from my face. “You better beautify yourself, I heard Jared and Shannon are rumored to be coming up there too.” He said, as he pulled my blankets off my body. The cool California air hit me and I grimaced, I wanted to hurt him. I really wasn’t a morning person. Thank God, I took a shower last night. My hair did this lazy wavy thing, if I let it air dry overnight, it was kind of cool. As soon as my brain registered what Sam had said, I was wide awake. ‘Wait, there’s gonna be celebrities already there?” I asked sitting straight up.

“Yeah. People arrive for this getaway starting last night. The only reason Chris isn’t up there now is because he is driving you and me with him.” Sam said, leaving me on my bed.

“Hey, you should wear your tank top that has the saying ‘Run like Jared Leto is at the finish line.’ I bet he would get a kick out of that.” I could practically hear his snickering across the apartment.

“Oh, shut the hell up.” I said back, not caring if he heard me or not. By this point my bed was made, I had changed into jeans and a short sleeve shirt. I had a semi-heavy jacket I was taking. Threw my last toiletries into my bag and came out to the living room just as Chris walked through my door, with coffee and a garment bag.

“Hey, there she is!!” Chris said cheerily. He was definitely a morning person. I reached out, I needed my coffee before I was going to be civil to anyone. One look at the cup and I knew this wasn’t my normal coffee. I arched an eyebrow at Chris. “Just try it.” He commanded.

I stuck my tongue out at him and took a gulp, at least he knew I wasn’t a hot coffee drinker, unless there was snow on the ground. As soon as the coffee hit my tongue I knew where he had gotten it. I almost choked.

“Chris, is this Black Fuel?” I asked quietly.

‘It sure is. Shannon’s staff hooked me up this morning. I need you to try this jacket on, before we leave.” He said quickly, holding the jacket open. I hadn’t noticed that he had opened the garment back and removed it. It fit me like a glove. But it felt so light, but it was warm, like there was a heater in the actual jacket.

“Oh wow, where the hell did you get this?” I asked. “It’s amazing, I feel like I’m wearing a heating pad.”

“Yeah, do you like it?” Chris asked.

“Do I like it. Uh, maybe not for California weather but mountain weather, hell yeah. I mean, I would take the shirt off that I have on. Just be in a bra cause otherwise it’s too damn hot.” I replied, removing the jacket and holding it out to Chris.

“It’s yours. Sam yours is in the Rover. Heating.” Chris smiled.

“Excuse me?” I said.

Sam had the biggest smile on his face.

“Come on. Do we have everything? Let’s load up and go.” Chris said, before I could protest.

It would have been no use anyway. This was one of the perks of my job, I got free shit. Prototypes most of the time. Shit Chris wanted my opinion on. A lot of the time he needed a female opinion, que my entrance.

5 minutes later, we were all in Chris’ Range Rover speeding away to LAX.

“Alright, you two have rooms next to each other. You won’t need to pay for anything, no tipping either. All the other guys are meeting us there, and we are going to go snowboarding today.

The resort was massive, and beyond elegant. I had dreams about staying in hotels like this. There were celebrities everywhere. All of them would acknowledge Chris with either a smile, wave, or nod. It was unbelievable. We were shown to our rooms, where I changed into my snowboarding gear, and that jacket. I felt weird that I did have a shirt on, almost like I was walking around topless. Chris had told us to bring our bathing suits and a change of clothes with us.

There was a light knock on my door. Sam. “Ready?” he asked.

“Yup.” I grabbed my bag and we were off. I think I was more excited to go snowboarding than seeing the numerous celebrity faces milling around. Sam and I made our way through the lobby to one of the unoccupied seating areas. I took a seat, while Sam stood next to me waiting for the rest of the group. I had my wireless headphones around my neck and I could hear Mars blaring. I picked up my phone and started scrolling through my Twitter feed.

“Jesus, what is taking them so long? I wanna go!” Sam whined. I chuckled.

“Who all is going with us?” I asked not taking my eyes off my phone.

“Uh, Chris, Joe, Zack, Josh, Ryder…I think that is it.” Sam said. Sam and Ryder didn’t get along well. Ryder liked to flirt with me and try to set me up with his friends. Which was really annoying. Josh, Zack, and Joe were all rock climbing friends with Chris and Sam. That’s how they all met. When Sam heard that I wanted to try climbing, he brought it up to Chris one day at lunch. I was welcomed into the crew.

I liked to climb without gear. They all thought I was crazy, which was fine by me. It was freeing. The adrenaline rush of it was exhilarating. Something that I was always looking for. When I was 28, I made a self-discovery. I wasn’t who I wanted to be, so I did some soul searching. I found the person I really was. Mars helped me through it.

“There they are, finally!” Sam said, bringing me out of my thoughts.

“Hey, Em!” Joe yelled, as he, Josh, and Zach came running at me. I was engulfed in a hug by the three men. They were all significantly taller than me, but that wasn’t hard to accomplish since I am only 5” 2’.

“We thought you weren’t coming.” Zach said as they released me.

“Nah, I’m made her an offer she could refuse.” Chris piped up. “How is the jacket?”

“Toasty.” I replied with a smile.

“Wait, where’s Ryder?” Sam said with a hopeful smile.

“Oh, he’ll be here at cocktails or maybe dinner.” Josh replied.

Sam’s hopeful demeanor vanished. I smiled and nudged him with my shoulder.

“Alright, let’s get our stuff and hit the slopes before cocktails.” Chris said, rubbing his hands together.

We all grabbed gear for snowboarding. And started up to the lift for the mountain. I was a beautiful day, the sun was warm, the breeze was crisp and light, almost non-existent. This resorts lift was benches that held 4 people at a time. Chris, and Sam sandwiched me in a bench. Zach, Joe, and Josh were in the one behind us.

After we reached the top, we saw there was next to no one at the top. As we made our way to the area, the Chris had picked out, he saw three guys in the space he wanted. “Hey guys!” Chris yelled and waved. We all looked up, I couldn’t see over the others, I looked at Sam.

“Who is he talking to?” I asked. Sam smiled and shook his head.

“Finally made it up the mountain Chris?” one of the men said, slapping Chris on the shoulder.

“Yeah. Here let me introduce you to my friends.” Chris smiled and playfully shoved the other man.

Pointing at each of the guys, and saying their names. Chris came to me. I was crouched locking one foot onto my snowboard, not really paying attention. Most of the time, when men met me, they thought I was some helpless woman, trailing after Chris.

“And the woman of our group here is Emma. Be careful, she could put most men on their asses.” Chris said, grabbing my arms, and pulling me closer.

“Everybody meet the guys of Thirty seconds to Mars, Shannon, Tomo, and Jared.” Chris said with a smile.

“Holy hell.” Sam whispered.

The others were too star struck to say anything. I laughed. “Hi, nice to meet you three. Big fan. Not to detract from the moment, but does anyone else hear someone yelling?” I said, stepping forward, drawing the attention of all 8 men.

We all started to look around. We were huddled in a small circle. Chris was to my left, then Tomo, Jared, Shannon, Zach, Josh, Joe, and Sam ending our circle on my right.

The yelling continued. It was steadily getting louder. We slowly were starting to be able to understand what was being yelled, “Get out of the way!”

I looked behind me, there was a gentleman on skis, arms flailing, flying towards us. Jared came up behind me. By this point I had realized that there was no time to get out of the ma’s way.

“Jesus, Jared look out!” I yelled and pushed him into the other men. With just enough time for the flailing man to collide with my side, sending us both tumbling down the mountain.

“Emma!” Chris and Sam yelled.

After tumbling head over heels I managed to regain my bearings and grab ahold of the man. The decline was leveling off. We finally came to a slow sliding stop. Both of us breathing hard. I was going to be bruised. The man had several cuts, but seemed otherwise alright.

I immediately starting on him, “Are you okay, sir? Is anything broken? Do you know your name?”

“Yes, I’m fine. I don’t think anything is broken. My name is Ben. I can thank you enough, Miss...” Ben said.

“Emma” I replied, holding my hand out to him.

As I pulled Ben to a standing position, the 8 other members of my party slid to stops around us. Jared was the first to reach us.

“Holy shit. Are you two okay? Anything broken?” Jared questioned as he grabbed my head. “You hit your head pretty hard after impact.”

I placed my hands on his forearms. “I’m fine, thanks.”

After, introductions and several staff members arrived with a new snowboard. We said our farewells to Ben and the staff.

“Emma, are you sure you are okay? We all heard you hit your head on the ground after you and Ben collided.” Chris said cautiously.

“I swear, if one of you asks me one more time if I’m okay. I’m going down this mountain by myself, and getting several stiff drinks. I am fine. I have a hard head. Chris, you should know that.” I said with a laugh.

“She is fine.” Sam said, “If she can make fun of herself, she is perfectly fine. I would know too.” He said wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

“Yup.” I replied with a smile.

After re-arriving at our spot on the mountain, we all positioned ourselves in a line to take off. After 4 hours of boarding, I was starting to get over heated, and to be honest, my head was starting to hurt.

My vision was slightly blurry. “Woah.” I said quietly. Jared, and I were the only ones left at the top of the hill.

“Woah, hey. You doing okay?” he asked, reaching out and steadying me.

“Yeah, I think I’m done for the day though.” I said with a small smile.

“Hey, me too, why don’t we take this one together, and we will tell the others we are gonna head back?” Jared suggested as he took my hand.

“Yeah.” I replied.

When we reached the bottom, Chris was the first to see Jared helping me.

“Emma?” Chris said, walking over. Everyone’s boards were in the back of a cart that was waiting to take us back to the resort.

“I’m fine.” I said, as I crouched down to unsnap the buckles of my boots. I was very aware that Jared’s hands were still on me.

“Holy shit! Emma your neck! Why didn’t you tell us you were bleeding?” Jared yelled. His outburst caught the attention of the others as well as the staff.

“What the hell are you talking about?” I said, wide eyed. I removed my right glove and reached into my coat. The back of my neck was sticky, I slowly brought my hand up into my hair line. That’s when I felt the pain. I winced in pain.

“Let me see.” Jared said, pushing my hands out of the way.

“Looks like a cut from where you hit your head earlier.” Jared said quietly. The other men in our group as well as the staff and closed in around me.

“The bleeding stopped already. We will just need to check for a concussion when we get back to the hotel” the male staff member replied.

We all piled into the cart, I was wedged in between Sam and Chris with Jared, Shannon and Tomo in front of me, and Joe, Zach, and Josh behind us.

After we made it back to the resort, I was informed that one of the nurses would met me at my room to help me get cleaned up as well as check for a concussion.

“I’ll escort her to her room.” Sam said, “We are floor buddies.” He finished grabbing my arm

“what floor are you two on?” Jared asked.

“Six.” Sam replied.

“Us too. Let’s go.” Jared said.

It turned out the Jared’s room was directly across the hall from mine, Shannon’s was on his right and Tomo’s was on his left. Small world, I thought.

The nurse was waiting outside my door. “okay, sweetie, let’s take a look at the damage. You boys can wait out here. I’ve got her.”

After close inspection, it was determined that I didn’t have a concussion, but it was close. Just some bumps and bruises, and the cut to the back of my head. Which bled like a beast.

After getting dressed, as the nurse was heading out, she asked, “Would you like me to let the gentlemen in? They are all waiting.”

“Please.” I replied. I was in my ‘Arkham’ sweats, and a plain black t-shirt. My hair was still slightly damp.

All eight men came barreling into the room. I wasn’t feeling up to cocktails, neither was any of them. We all decided room service and a movie.

I had a California king sized bed, two couches, and an arm chair. After room service was ordered, we decided we would watch a movie after dinner.

#30 seconds to mars

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