#this finale was already kinda stupid they should have just committed and made it funny too

[singswan-springswan]

this is the reason Jason was the only one she asked for by name right

[drumpfwatch]

The Final Plea: Trump's Gone Full Hitler

Originally I was going to write this huge, multi-part essay about how Trump is bad and how Project 2025 is evil and how he’s definitely going to do it but I don’t need to. Thanks to Trump’s big stupid mouth, and his recent dive into dementia-driven madness, I think I have something that any sane person can’t hear without being worried about.

Trump says immigrants are 'poisoning the blood of our country'

This? This is unacceptable. He is literally saying the exact same thing about immigrants that Hitler did about the Jews.  If you have any moral fiber whatsoever, this should be the thing that gets you to see Trump for what he is. A fascist.

“But,” you say, “what if he’s just talking? He obviously doesn’t believe that! They’re just words!” And with all do respect I do not fucking care. There are only two possibilities here: either Trump is an actual honest to god fascist who legitimately sees the “pure blood of the American people” being threatened by the existence of brown people who want to breed us out of existence, or he knows his fan base does and is happy to rile them up with this kind of talk. And at the end of the day, that is a distinction without difference.

This sort of rhetoric breeds anger and violence, and keeps him nice and distant. He can claim that all he did was tell people to protest “peacefully and patriotically” ignoring the two months he spent before that lying and riling them up. Stochastic terrorism at its finest, on display at its worst on January 6th. It’s funny how many republicans I can encounter who can identify, say, Alex Jones’ rhetoric as inflammatory and inciting but immediately shut their brain off when Trump starts doing the exact same thing. 

Honestly the fact that he’s cultivated a following like that should’ve told you all you needed to know in the first place. No other President’s fan base has attacked a federal building and interrupted government actions about their candidate losing. No President has been so butthurt by a loss that he shot over 60 frivolous lawsuits off that were all pretty quickly defeated because his people wouldn’t tell the lies they told to you under oath. You don’t get that kinda crazy by accident, you cultivate that.

Even if Trump himself were a good guy (he’s not), and had no intention of putting immigrants in camps (which he already did), his base - those lunatics he counts on to commit insurrections for him - are more than happy to do the dirty work. 

But how do I know that? Because they already have. After Trump broadcasted the story about Haitian Immigrants eating dogs and cats, those places supporting them received bomb threats. Bomb threats that would continue for two days and be followed by the homes of those immigrants being vandalized. Threats so serious and numerous the children needed police protection just to go to school. Haitian immigrants who are there legally, by the way. Haitian Immigrants who were invited to Springfield, by Springfield, to take up jobs that the white folk there are apparently too good for. Jobs that benefit the community. These are people who have already suffered immensely and now they have a target on their back because of a bullshit racist story that isn’t even true. That’s right, the person who started this whole mess admitted they made the whole thing up! But the MAGAts don’t care, and neither does Trump, because he keeps spewing this god damned lie. 

Why? Why would he do that? Why push this fake story so hard? Because Trump wants to scare you into voting for him, and whether or not he actually holds to the Nazi Propaganda of the Great Replacement, he is absolutely fine with all the suffering it’s causing as long as it helps build up the Fear Wave he’s hoping to ride into the White House on. 

It’s the same reason he keeps lying that we’re in the worst crime wave of all time, ever, when crime is the lowest it’s been in 50 years. There is no migrant crime wave because migrants are, as a whole, less likely to commit crime. 

That’s why I say if you have any moral fiber what so ever, you’d have dumped him. You’re willing to sacrifice the wellbeing of over 70% of the population of women, blacks, LGBT people and other minorities on the altar of Trump, and for what? 

No, really. For what? The economy?

Trump only cares about the economy in as much as it helps him. That’s why the man who promised to drain the swamp of financial corruption appointed the freaking CIO of Goldman Sachs as his Secretary of the Treasury. No, it’s not because Mnuchin knew what he was doing, he had never worked with public funds once in his life. It was because he knew how to get rich people more money. That’s why the only thing that benefited from him was the stock market. Which, by the way, is doing even better under Uncle Joe. Every other measure of wealth indicated hard times for the middle class specifically. The unemployment rate, the deficit, housing prices and more. All of these things were worse under Trump.

Now, I understand that the economy is complicated. A whole bunch of things affect it and not every bad thing that happened under Trump was his fault (in the same way that not everything that happened under Biden was his either). COVID in particular really screwed everything over, and while he didn’t exactly handle the crisis well he didn’t exactly manufacture the disease for funsies either. That said, if Trump gets to take responsibility for the $1.00 gas prices that happened during lockdown because people weren’t driving all that much, then he also gets to take on the responsibility of the hundreds of thousands of jobs that were lost because of it too. 

And that’s the crux. If Donald Trump were truly actually good for the economy, there’d be no room to equivocate. A healthy economy raises all ships, and his did not. That’s what you’re willing to summon at that altar. Mediocrity.

Besides, we know for a fact that some of the things he specifically did were bad. Those tariffs on China hurt American manufacturing arguably more than they hurt China. After all, tariffs end up being a tax on the consumer. All those promises he made to rebuild and protect American industries? He never did any of that, because that would require tax money and empowering workers, and his rich friends really don’t like either of those things. I know, a politician lied, truly a shocker! But if he actually gave a damn about the poor and working class, if he actually cared about the economy, he would’ve done something besides making his merchandise in China. But he doesn’t care about the working class except for how he can abuse them to get what he wants out of them. Every Trump Supporter who isn’t directly working for him is, in his mind, a gullible mark who exists purely to be a tool. Trump does not care about you.

And, you know, even if it were true - that Trump were great for the economy - you know who was? HITLER. While he was chancellor Germany had a 100% employment rate! Of course that was partly because they kicked all the Jews and women out of their jobs and had the unemployed men take them over, but that’s still a pretty impressive success. He also generated an astounding amount of wealth for his people by fueling his Wehrmacht and invading other countries. It was this stability he offered, contrasted with the horrific death of the Papiermark after the First World War, that allowed him to get enough people behind him to seize power. Because most Germans didn’t actually want to exterminate all Jews, but they did want to buy a loaf of bread for less than a bajillion dollars and were willing to look the other way for the sake of that.

Now, I’m not saying Trump is Hitler, or that we’re in as equally perilous a situation. 1920s Germany was 1920s Germany, Hitler was Hitler and there will never be another monster like him. But Trump is his own monster, and whatever color his soul is, whatever he actually believes, he has surrounded himself with people who are all too eager to commit treason in his name. 

Literally, is that worth it to you? What price could possibly be worth putting the worst thing to happen to American Human Rights since Dredd-Scott into office? What good does he bring that are worth the continued strength of our democracy? What policies has he enacted that make supporting him worth it? The death of Roe v Wade, the Muslim Travel Ban, the decreasing enrollment of minorities due to the peeling back of affirmative protections, the encouragement of book banning, the aggressive attacks on free press that accurately report on his crimes? The violent use of police to silence peaceful protests? The Supreme Court that gave him the powers of a King while stripping power from other branches?

Or maybe you’re excited for what he plans to do! Like restoring the Alien and Sedition Acts to evict migrants. You know, those horrible blights upon our country? The ones that allowed us to imprison innocent Japanese citizens in camps just because they were Japanese, or allowed the government to restrict the free press because it didn’t say what they wanted it to? Don’t pretend that he won’t, or that he can’t. It’s happened before so it can happen again, and now that the guard rails are gone, there’s no stopping him. This country has done darker things under better presidents than he, and if you think the lackies he’s going to staff as much of the government as he can with are going to stop him this time, then you are a gullible tool. 

That’s right! If Trump’s in office, expect, at the very least, rigged trials against his opponents, terrifying police oppression of non-violent protests and crimes! So many crimes! Crimes from Trump! Crimes from his friends, his family, his loyal mooks! Crimes for everyone! Crimes that are immediately pardoned - or even pardoned beforehand! How exciting! And if he does even part of what is in Project 2025 - which he’s very likely to - then expect wonderfully horrible stupid things like total federal bans on birth control, females getting arrested for crossing state lines while pregnant and teachers being put in jail for calling their student “Sam” instead of “Samuel” because their parent never signed a permission slip for that. 

This is not hyperbole, this is not conjecture of a potential future, these are things that have already happened because of Trump, and things he has said he was going to do. Do you believe him? Because it’s the one thing I believe him on, because he did them all before and people like Trump only ever get worse.

What reason do you have to support this man? Do you think Harris is going to be worse, somehow? Harris, the most pliable politician we’ve had in decades - for better or worse? What, is she gonna let the woke mob take over America? The woke mob that barely exists? How terrible, people might have to treat Transfolk with the respect they deserve! Truly, a nightmare! 

For the record, no one has been arrested for any trans discrimination law. Because most of those laws simply add transpeople to the list of people who are considered valid targets for discrimination/hate crimes. So if you weren’t planning on burning down a transperson’s house or denying them a job because they’re trans, you don’t have to worry about being arrested/fined for not liking transpeople. You’re allowed to be a bigot in your own house, just like bigots always have been, that hasn’t changed. I promise no one’s going to arrest you for deadnaming and misgendering a trans person. The fact that people won’t LIKE you for doing that, well, that’s a problem you just have to deal with if you really believe in free speech, now isn’t it? 

What other reasons are there to think Kamala is worse than Trump? Do you think she’s a Marxist? I’ve heard people call her that before and it’s fucking hilarious to me because it displays either a profound ignorance of what Marxism is, a profound ignorance of who she is, or both. Yes, Kamala’s dad was a Marxist. He also barely talks to her - Kamala refers to their relationship as “strained but cordial,” - in part because his daughter is an avid participant in the free market. If you want to know who's a Marxist, you ask a Marxist. And if my experience has taught me anything, it’s that most of the Marxists don’t like Harris at all.

Of course people like Jordan Peterson have twisted the meaning of the word around so hard that it doesn’t mean anything anymore anyway. I’ve heard people call DEI initiatives Marxist because they don’t like it when people don’t agree with them? Because they don’t understand that calling an action racist doesn’t mean the one who did it was racist? Look, this stuff is complicated and I’m not going to litigate it right now, but the whole point of DEI isn’t to brainwash people into believing white people are all secretly evil. It’s meant to spread awareness so that people don’t accidentally say stupid, hurtful stuff because not everyone has the time of day to research the entire history of racism in America. The more important point here is that whatever you wanna call it, it’s not Marxism just because both Marx and your DEI speaker both get mad at you for disagreeing with them, and no one is teaching Critical Race Theory to children in school.

But to be clear - if we define Marxism as “extremely to the left,” she’s not. Entire progressive cultures are furious that Joe stepped down because Kamala turned her back on them. They felt they had a chance with Joe, but they definitely don’t think they do with her. A lot of leftists are disappointed in her. You should’ve seen how pissed they got when she said she’d appoint republicans to her cabinet. Anyone putting her in the same category as Angela Ocasio-Cortez or Bernie Sanders is either ignorant or malicious. Conversely, if by Marxist you mean  the economic system by which the means of production are owned and controlled by the working class and that profit thereof is evenly distributed amongst all beneficiaries, be it at the company level or the governmental level, Kamala Harris does not believe that, never has, and probably never will. The PACs who back her campaign are way too interested in continuing the status quo to let her do that. 

And that’s what this is about, isn’t it? I’ll admit it, Kamala Harris may be a change in the Democratic Party, appealing to patriotism in ways the democrats haven’t in a long time, breaking with certain party lines where it’s convenient but she’s not ever going to completely contradict party orthodoxy, not at this point. She chose Tim Walz instead of Josh Shapiro like the party wanted her to, but she didn’t choose, say, Bernie Sanders or even Pete Buttegig. She still plays the system, and at this point I think both sides can agree the system is broken. 

And hey, Trump does offer a new system! But that new system is fascism, and if that’s what you want, then, well, I guess I can’t stop you. But if it’s not what you want, if you want to guarantee American democracy will prosper as democracy, vote for someone else. And if you want that vote to matter, vote for Kamala.

You have the right to vote for whoever you want. I can’t stop you, and I won’t. This essay doesn’t exist to deny you that right. But I want everyone who reads this to know that if Trump wins, his track history shows that he’s going to do the terrible things he says he’s going to do, especially now that he’s kicked out all the people who would stop him and has perfect immunity.

Or maybe not. Maybe he won’t. Maybe Trump will have a miraculous change of heart, realize that he actually has a responsibility when wielding all that power, tell the Supreme Court to reverse their decisions on immunity and tell the people behind Project 2025 to go eat bricks instead of pretending like he hasn’t heard about it for the 500th time this week. Maybe every one of his previous actions was just part of some super-uber-complicated 4D Chess game with the Deep State of The They™ that totally exists and is actively trying to evilly keep him out of power so the evil space lizard jews can continue to drink the blood of sexually abused orphans and destroy things with natural-disaster making space lasers. 

And maybe I’ll win every single state lottery on the same day with the same numbers.

I feel like a crazy person, sometimes. It seems so strange to be staring down the loaded gun of a dictatorship, but history tells us this is how it always goes. But we have a chance to stop it this time. And hey, maybe I’m wrong about all of this. It wouldn’t be the first time. But I’d like to think I’ve grown up from my foolish days believing every conspiracy theory I found online, and feel that I’ve brought sufficient evidence to the table. Trump has done nothing but lie, be stupid, and step on whatever is in his way to get what he personally wants, damn the consequences. And at the end of the day, people tend to do more of what they’ve done, except occasionally more. So ask yourself, before you check that box, what has Trump done? In what ways has he helped this country and in what ways has he hurt it? And are you willing to risk more, or worse, of that harm? And if so, for what? Whose wellbeing are you potentially putting on that altar? Because if I’m right, and he wins, I did warn you.

[mystery-star]

Wherever you go – Spock

Pairing: Spock x reader (gender neutral)

Warnings: mentions of blood and injury

Words: 3943

A/N: I had to write this after discussing the quick idea of it with @elysiansith

Please do not repost my work on other sites or platforms.

-

“No, I’ll do anything but that” you insisted, shaking your head

“Come on, you lost the bet, you agreed to this beforehand”

“It was agreed that I would do something that involved Spock”

“And I didn’t tell you what exactly so you’ve gotta do it”

“Come on, search something else. Make me spill a drink on him, sing a song in front of his quarter but not this”

“Nah, that won’t be as funny”

“No please” you begged

“Oh come on, he’ll ask you right away. I don’t think he likes it if people are following him around” you sighed

“But what do you mean with everywhere? I can’t go to his quarters if he doesn’t invite me in. What if he’s on the toilet?”

“Okay well that are exceptions”

“What is while I’m on my shift? I can’t just get up and leave the bridge whenever the Commander does”

“Fine, then you’ll need to say that you need to do something and then go to the toilet or something. Or just ask if you can go with him” you shook your head

“No please choose something else, this is ridiculous. Besides, when he does ask me why I’m following him, what am I supposed to say? He won’t understand the bet thing”

“Then tell him the truth”

“No”

“I bet he’ll find your declaration of love logical”

“Yeah sure. But what if someone else asks why I’m following Spock everywhere?”

“That doesn’t count. You’re not relieved then”

“Oh come on! You know exactly that Spock won’t address the matter until some days later”

“I know. Which’ll make it funnier for me”

“You’re the worst”

“I know”

-

As you had agreed with your friend, you would start with following Spock as soon as your shift started on the next day. But before you could start, the Captain came to you and said there was something he had to discuss with you.

“Am I in trouble?” you asked after the doors of the turbolift closed

“No, not at all. Just wanted to say that your friend informed be about the betting debt you have to honor”

“Oh God please no. I’d rather be in trouble”

“Well anyway, I just wanted to say that you’re free to leave whenever Spock goes. I might even send you with him from the start”

“What crime did I commit?”

“Now come on, Lieutenant. Almost everyone on this ship knows about your crush on Mr Pointy. Except for him but he doesn’t notice anything that has to do with others and their feelings. But something tells me, he cares for you too in a way that is more than just a professional relationship”

“Great and I just thought this couldn’t get any worse” the lift stopped and the Captain ordered to bring you to the bridge again.

“Oi, others would be happy to hear such news. Considering it’s Spock it’s almost as good as a ‘he loves you too’” you let out a groan.

“Just great” you repeated and the Captain only chuckled “I hope I die from embarrassment”

“Now come on, maybe it will quite alright”

“Yeah and you surely believe in the Easter bunny and Santa Clause?”

“Most did as a kid” you shook your head. When you finally were back on the bridge you were more or less pulled to the First Officer’s station “Mr Spock”

“Captain, Lieutenant (Y/L/N)” he greeted back.

“You know, I’ve been thinking about how you could use help sometimes”

“I doubt I have ever addressed such a matter and I do not know what could have given you the impression I would…”

“That is why I decided to name (Y/N) as your assistant”

“No” you moaned

“So I think it would be great if the two of you could get to know each other a bit and spend time together”

“No” you groaned, knowing that it meant it would only prolong your betting debt because it would deter the Vulcan from asking you why you followed him

“Very well” Spock answered after having eyed you “Please have a seat, Lieutenant” he slightly nodded his head to the vacant chair that was at an empty console.

“You know I wouldn’t mind if we collided with an asteroid today” you muttered to yourself as you sank down in the chair. It kinda looked like maybe you had to follow him to the toilet anyway to have him ask what you were doing.

-

As he had announced, the Captain kept sending you after Spock whenever he left the bridge and although Spock kept insisting that it was not necessary you followed him, Kirk too insisted on you accompanying him since he could also make it an order. So in a way, you were glad when your shift was over. Since Spock stayed a little longer, you too wanted to do this so that you could go with him but then you remembered that you only had to follow him, it had never been said that you had to wait for him to move. So you said goodbye and wished him a nice evening after five minutes and returned to your quarters. Of course your friend called you to hear how it was going and was delighted when you mentioned what the Captain was doing.

Also the following day was quite the same but fortunately this time Spock only had to leave once. But this evening he left with all of you and since you found it would be creepy to just follow him you took a deep breath you asked him if he would like to have dinner with you. To your surprise he agreed. But it also relieved you because otherwise you’d still have to follow him, which would have made it even more awkward. On the other hand, then he probably would have asked you about the meaning of it.

“I’m sorry by the way. For being around you all the time. But we don’t have a choice during work and I think it would make sense if we got used to it. Maybe it would help to get to know each other better” you gave a shrug

“You do not need to apologize”

“But… don’t you wonder why?”

“You mean if I wish to learn the reason that you decided to spend time with me?”

“Yes”

“No. After all you have just explained your reasoning” shit. That meant he probably wouldn’t ask you for the reason that. Of course unless you passed boundaries in a way. Which was something you were not willing to do. Not only because he was a superior officer and a colleague but also because you didn’t want him to think negatively of you “If you want, you can search a suitable table while I get food from the replicator”

“Hm” he had allowed you to leave but the rules of the lost bet said that you had to ignore that and still stay with him “Or what if we both got food and then search a place together? I don’t know maybe you have something like a favorite table or you find that there are seats that are better than others” he raised an eyebrow

“Having a preference towards a seat seems illogical but I agree to your suggestion”

“Great” you smiled.

-

For some reason, a part of you was surprised that you had a very nice evening with Spock and that you enjoyed it more than you thought. Of course you had to accompany him to his quarters afterwards and he had only said that you did not need to do this and but you had just insisted that you hadn’t noticed and thought it wouldn’t make sense to turn around now. But what surprised you most was that he thanked you for spending the evening with him, even though you had asked him to do so. Maybe your friend and the Captain were right. Maybe all of this wasn’t so bad. Which didn’t mean you were happy about it.

On the following day, however, you were quite glad about the fact that you were following Spock around. He was scheduled to go on a planet mission and or course Captain Kirk insisted that you went with him, as his assistant. A part of you wondered what would happen once the whole betting debt was resolved. If you would still be his assistant then. Maybe you should talk to Kirk about this. Because somehow you didn’t know if that was what you wanted. What if it meant you would be promoted? It didn’t feel right if that would just happen because of a bet. But it would be cool and a great way to pay your friend back in a way. Once you arrived on the planet, Spock started to put you into small groups in which you should explore the planet. And in the end, you were left but all teams of two were already formed so he just told you to join one of the groups

“Actually…” you said “Since I was made your assistant, I thought I could go with you?” right now you didn’t even know if you just wanted to be around him or if you just did it because of your bet. Your stupid friend had been right that you would enjoy following him at times

“Very well, Lieutenant, you may come with me” you gave a nod and took out your tricorder to get started with work. On your little tour, you finally came to a cave. While Spock stayed away from it you went closer and closer, curious to see what was inside. “Are you certain you wish to go inside?” he asked

“I just want to have a look inside. I won’t even go in far. Maybe there is something really interesting inside” he gave a nod and came closer, walking past you and entered the cave

“It actually was my cave” you muttered but followed him. He kept walking and walking until you reached a huge kind of hall “Okay wow that is awesome” you breathed as you started to make even more recordings while Spock must have seen something else. It turned out to be a nest with five big, turquoise eggs. Your superior had to squat down and started to examine them while you were not so happy anymore. What if suddenly the parents came and got mad? You doubted it ever was a good idea to get to close to animal’s babies. But the Vulcan didn’t seem to worry at all and he even touched one of the eggs with his palm. Shaking your head you walked away and started slapping the cold stone, trying to get a tricorder reading on them to determine the material. Suddenly you felt Spock look at you “Something wrong?”

“Can you try not to make any sounds?”

“Why that? Is something…”

“Shh” you were surprised that he actually shushed you. But it made you react and you were quiet, trying to listen to what he could have been hearing. Then you finally did hear something and you did not like it. It sounded like something screeching and rather loud thumps

“Maybe we should leave?” you asked Spock who gave a nod and you were trying to get back to the tunnel you had been coming from but it was blocked by a huge grey-brown animal that looked a lot like a pterosaur. “Okay I suppose Mommy is back home. And she’s blocking our only way out”

“We cannot be certain if it is a female” the animal screeched at you and started coming at you

“But we can be certain that it is mad” you growled as you jumped aside and regretted that you had no phaser with you.

“As soon as it unblocks the entrance you need to run”

“And leave you behind with this Pteranodon? It looks like it could swallow you whole”

“Judging by its size I suppose that the term Quetzalcaotlus would be more fitting”

“This or that, it’s mad and you don’t stand a chance” luckily, he took out his phaser and tried to shoot the alien but it didn’t seem to deter it a lot “Just great” you muttered as it came closer to Spock and when he tried to dive away under it, the being still managed to dig his claws into his back. When the animal moved away you saw that it had torn quite a piece of Spock’s uniform and his back was quickly covered in green blood. Unfortunately, the animal didn’t seem done and tried to pick at the Vulcan with it’s long beak, only narrowly missing him because he had rolled onto his back and then back to his stomach and was trying to get up. Not knowing what to do, you ran towards the nest and heaved one of the eggs out of it, kicking it away from it. Of course that caught the alien animal’s attention and it was slowly coming closer to you after it used it’s beak to stop the rolling egg. Quickly, you took another egg and rolled it into the other direction and then a third one in yet another direction. As it seemed the being decided that the eggs were more important than you and went after them so that you hurried over to Spock, pulling him back to his feet. He didn’t seem to be in best form, so you draped his arm over your shoulders, trying to support him

“Leaving me behind would increase your changes of escape and survival by 76.2…”

“Shh” you said “It was my idea to go in there and we both will get out. Now come on” you started pulling him back to the tunnel and he complied. Much to your luck, the alien was not following you anymore and you hoped it would stay like this and that not a second one of them would come. Shortly before you reached the exit of the cave, your superior took out his communicator, drumming up the rest of the landing party but you just snatched it out of his hand and then contacted the ship, telling them to beam Spock up right now because he was injured. “And don’t you dare saying something like ‘it’s just a scratch. I can do this’”

“Seeing that the being has hit me with three of his claws it would be incorrect to claim that I only obtained one scratch” you rolled your eyes when you felt the transporter beam and then were back on the Enterprise with him.

“Dear God, what happened?” the man behind the console asked

“We got attacked by an angry Mommy pterosaur”

“Well shit but the fact that it was a dinosaur is cool”

“I doubt it was a real dinosaur”

“Yeah whatever. All I hope is that this being wasn’t poisonous somehow because that looks quite bad like this already” you didn’t even dare to throw a glance to his back, knowing you’d regret it. You shifted your hold on him a little and wanted to bring him to sick bay when you met some doctors and nurses that probably had been on their way to you. Of course they were taking over for you and started asking questions about what had happened while they ran scanners over the two of you. Finally, you reached Medbay and one of the nurses told you that you couldn’t come in but much to your surprise Spock said that it was okay if you stayed with him. Needless to say that it flattered you and made you happy. Of course you couldn’t be in their way as they treated his injuries but afterwards you were allowed to move closer and looked down at him, not sure what to say.  “Does it hurt?”

“No, the medication I received is still effective” you gave a nod

“Do you think they’ll give you more?”

“Should I request for some, yes” you gave a nod and were not so sure what else to say but luckily he continued “(Y/N)”

“Yes?”

“While your choice to help me escape as well was not entirely logical since it endangered your own life, I still appreciate your actions” you chuckled

“I suppose this is your way of saying thank you?”

“No. I merely wanted to tell you that I appreciated what you did. However, I do thank you for helping me”

“You’re welcome. And I’m sorry I even wanted to go inside this cave. If I hadn’t, this wouldn’t have happened”

“As you surely know, I have taken the lead upon entering the cave therefore you do not need to feel responsible for what has occurred for it is not your fallacy in any way” you gave a nod “I would have explored the cavern even if you had not been with me”

“So a good thing I started following you around, huh?” you chuckled. Maybe you should thank your friend anyway.

“I suppose so”

“And you still don’t wonder why?”

“I do. However, the Captain has asked me not to inquire the reason”

“He did what?”

“He requested I did not ask you for the reason that you are following me around”

“That idiot” you muttered

“Why does this bother you?”

“Uhm… just because”

“Perhaps it has to do with the fact that you wish to be around me as much as you can due to your affection for me”

“My what?!”

“Is it not true that you hold romantic affection for me?”

“I-I…. How the hell did you know that?”

“Dr McCoy has informed me about it three months, two weeks and five days ago when he has been intoxicated”

“Wait you knew for almost four months and never said a word?”

“I was thinking you would wish to tell me about it yourself”

“Fuck that’s embarrassing”

“Why do you think so?”

“Well uh, here you are, telling me you knew and you don’t even seem to care. Because you surely don’t like me the same way”

“Your statement is correct” you stood there like struck by a lightning. Of course you had suggested it but hearing it like this, in such words, made it even worse. You really had to ask your friend to stop the stupid betting debt because it did not have the effect as you both wished. “Yet I have considered the information in an attempt to determine what you mean to me. I have come to the conclusion that I care about you in a way I have never cared about another but I cannot say if this is what humans would consider as loving someone, which is why I have found it better to not tell you since it could disappoint you”

“So you say you care about me? But why would this disappoint me?”

“While I am not certain which answer humans expect after the confess their feelings, I do believe that what I have just said is not it”

“Well it wouldn’t be nice to hear this from a human but from a Vulcan it is different. I-I mean I probably have already known you would not ‘love’ me. Or well maybe you do but you would suppress it. I mean… I didn’t even know what I was expecting when I was thinking about telling you how I feel. I never really thought as far as your answer, you know. My mind just always kinda skipped that part”

“If you say that you have skipped my answer, might I inquire the outcome you have imagined?”

“Well there were different scenarios of course. In most of them we just decided to be friends, sometimes we came together as a couple and sometimes it just ended in the most logical way”

“If you would clarify, which is the most logical way?”

“Okay good back then I thought that you’d just tell me you feel nothing for me…. but now you told me that you care for me, whatever exactly that means. So maybe I was right about the friends vision one” you gave a shrug and let out a sigh

“(Y/N)?” he said after some seconds

“Yes”

“I personally would prefer one of the scenarios where we start courting” you stare at him in disbelief.

“But… what if it turns out that you don’t love me or something?”

“(Y/N), as I have already assured you I care about you. And it is a different way of affection than the one I hold for my mother or Jim. Which is why I am certain that it must be a romantic affection”

“Oh” you looked down, then started smiling “Well that sounds awesome” you said “But you don’t even know what I have planned in all my scenarios” he raised an eyebrow

“I am certain you will let me know and I am willing to try out different things since I do not know much of human courtship. Maybe I can use the time I spend on sick leave to carry out some research on the topic” you chuckled

“Only if you want. After all, you live the Vulcan way and I could do some research on that as well. And maybe it’s best if we just do whatever we both are fine with”

“That sounds agreeable” you gave a nod and considered if it was appropriate if you took his hand but then you just decided to do it and see how he reacted. It seemed, like he was a little surprised but then squeezed your hand back, making you smile.

“I suppose that dissolves my betting debt as well”

“Which betting debt?”

“Oh… well” you chuckled, not sure if you should tell him but then grinned “I’m gonna tell you the real reason I followed you around. I lost a bet and because of it, I had to follow you around until you asked me why. But since the Captain heard of it, he made sure to give me a logical reason to follow you around by making me your assistant and asking you not to ask me why I’m following you” he raised his eyebrow again

“Please remind me to offer my thanks to him and your friend”

“No that would be so embarrassing!” you protested “But that doesn’t mean I’m fired?”

“Fire?”

“Well, I only was made your assistant because of the bet”

“I would not have agreed to the proposition if I did not believe you were suitable for the position. If you prefer your previous occupation, however, I will…””

“No! I mean I like it but working with you is fun too. I just thought you would be fed up with me or what do I know. Or that you would not want me as your assistant after I told you the reason why I became it in the first place”

“I have believed humans would enjoy to work with their partner if possible?”

“Well yes, but you’re Vulcan”

“I am also half-human” you chuckled

“So you’ll half enjoy working with me?”

“No, I suppose I will fully enjoy it” you smiled at him

“I’m just asking for my own safety” you heard McCoy call suddenly “Are you two decent so I can let Jim in? Or he’ll rip off my head”

“No you may allow him to come” Spock said “There is something that I and (Y/N) must inform him about” he added with a look to you that could be described as soft. At least for his standards. Well Spock probably was right about one point: you owed your friend a big thank you.

-

Taglist: @softsapphicideals

[cayofdreams]

Vengeance = Repentance

PART 1: VENGEANCE

Summary: Reader had bullied Todoroki throughout all his time in high school. Years later, after a reconnection during an after-work drinking session, she goes back to his place, naively unaware of the payback he has planned for her…

Words: 4.1k

Rating: Explicit, Smut (in part 2)

Warnings: bullying by reader in beginning, murderous thoughts by Todoroki, Dark!Todoroki, drugging

(no smut in the first part, just immense build-up)

Notes: I could not for the life of me think of an interesting Todo fic to write. Until...THIS baby popped into my mind. It was actually really challenging and fun to write what goes on in the mind of Dark!Todoroki. I hope I did it justice.

~~~

He hated you.

Sometimes the only reason he had for living was simply to see the day that you’d be six feet under a cold batch of dirt. You’d be all alone down there with no one to control. No one to manipulate. No one to blackmail or threaten.

You’d have no lackey to run around and get you sweet bread from the convenience store. No lookout to make sure any teachers came to catch the abominable acts you committed in the bathroom stall or behind the gymnasium. No rich father to make sure that whatever horrible deeds you committed that were reported were swept gracefully under a rug.

And most importantly, you wouldn’t have him. The target of all your psychological and physical abuse. The one person who constantly fulfilled your insatiably engorged sadistic ego.

“Heyyy~ Shou, can you come here for a sec?” You had called out to your bi-colored haired classmate from the threshold of the class’ door. The twitch in his shoulders in reaction to your voice made you chuckle. Todoroki slowly slid his chair back, making a scratching noise against the tiled floor, and got up. He walked up towards you with his eyes trailing the floor.

“Yes?”

“Ohh! So obedient today, aren’t we? Hehe- It was only a matter of time I suppose.” You smiled your disgustingly innocent smile at him. “I need you to check something for me. It’s important, okay?”

He stayed silent as he watched you move the hand that was behind your back out forward. You had a carton of milk in your hand, and it seemed to have already been open. He saw you put the carton to your nose and sniff harshly from where the opening was before shoving the carton into his chest. A bit of milk spilled out and dripped onto his uniform.

“This milk. It smells kinda funky. I want you to check it for me.”

“…If it smells funny then it’s probably-“

“Did I ask for your cheap opinion? Just do the favor, alright?” You frustratingly squeezed the carton in your hand which made even more milk spurt out and land on your hand as well as Todoroki’s uniform again. “Ugh! Shit! Look what you made me do! From being so obstinate.”

“Sorry…” He took the carton from your hand. It was practically half full now so he wondered why you even still cared so much. But he didn’t ask. He put the carton to his nose and sniffed to try and find a rotten smell to it. “I don’t smell anything.”

“Are you stupid? Not like that, idiot. You’ll never know if its bad if you check like that.” You quickly took the milk from him and raised it in the air. “You have to check like this~” You began to slowly pour the rest of the carton’s contents onto his head, completely soaking his silky hair and ruining his uniform even more. The milk drenched into his shirt and he could feel its cool wetness trickle his skin. “Ahaha! Weeell?? Is it bad or not, Shouutoo??”

There was a loud commotion of hoots and hollers from the other classmates as they watched your tormenting of Todoroki.

“Uwaah!! Milk boy got dunked on again!!”

“Gross! He’s gonna smell so bad later…”

“Dude! Go wash up! You’re gonna make the whole class smell like milk!”

“Krrgh..” Todoroki choked up in frustration, his hands balled into a fist. The fact he couldn’t just punch you right now could drive him to a point of enraged insanity.

The fact he had to let you get away with this over and over again just because of your father’s notorious connections with various government and business groups. He sometimes thought about just killing you anyway and dealing with the consequences. Prison would be more manageable than continuing to live in this same physical plane as you.

He thought about how he’d do it, too. If he would try to do it inconspicuously with poison, or conspicuously with his hands wrapped around your slender little throat. The former lead to more chances of him getting away with it. He could have the pleasure of your death along with his freedom. But the latter…the latter was just too enticing to pass up. Being able to hear your gargled whimpers attempting to beg for your life. Your legs that would try to kick and pry him off your weak body. Your face losing its color as your body is abruptly deprived of oxygen. And finally, his personal favorite, your bloodshot eyes that would be pleading for him to give you mercy before finally greying out.

Yes…the latter would have to do. Time in prison would be a beautiful cost to pay to see you perish under his fingers. The world would thank him later, for getting rid of their waste. Your death would serve as your repentance

But he was weak. Scared. He couldn’t find the conviction he needed to actually go through with it. It made him feel even worse. Maybe you were never wrong, and he was truly as spineless as you treated him.

But he’d get stronger. He had to. He needed to. He craved to.

-------------------------9 YEARS LATER-------------------------

“Good job on closing the deal, Todo!”

Todoroki had felt a harsh pat on his back before a heavy arm was slung over his shoulder by his spikey red haired coworker as he was grabbing his blazer off the chair.

“It was nothing, Kirishima.” He replied coolly but not without a small twinge of a smile.

“Ha! ‘It was nothing’ he says!” The energetic man turned his head around to face everyone else in the office. “Hey! Everyone! Pay attention to this guy right here! You might become the most successful businessman this country has to offer!”

The office chuckled and gave soft cheers for Todoroki, some of them poking fun at Kirishima’s exuberant display of comradery.

“Todo! Kiri! You guys are coming out for drinks, right!” Another one of Todoroki’s energetic co-workers, this time with bright yellow hair, briskly jogged up towards them. “I already invited the ladies!”

“Totally, dude! Where are we supposed to be going?”

“Heights Alliance! That bar has the best drinks and food a guy could ask for. Not to mention cute girls!

Todoroki softly brushed off the arm of Kirishima before putting his jacket on. “I think I’ll pass.”

“Aw! Come on dude!” This time, the yellow-haired co-worker placing his arm around Todoroki’s shoulder. “You alllways bail on us! Come with us this time! Drinks on Kiri!”

“Hey, Kaminari! Don’t decide that for yourself!” Kirishima retorted. “But yeah, man. You should come out. We miss you sometimes, dude.”

Todoroki hesitated as he contemplated his fellow workers’ requests. Honestly, he had never gone out to just...have fun. He would clog his mind with work which was probably why he was successful anyways. He didn’t even know why he was so disciplined when it came to his career. Not knowing what his goals even were. Focusing primarily on work, but for what? To just deny any moments of pleasure or belonging?

Maybe it was time for a change.

“…Alright.”

“Wooo!!! Todo is officially on board!”

The loudness of the cheers of his coworkers rang stingingly through his eardrums but he couldn’t suppress the smile that stemmed on his face.

As he had the feeling tonight would be an unforgettable night.

-------------------------------------------------

Todoroki sighed as he sipped the last of his drink and placed it softly on the counter in front of him. He sat alone as he thought about what he was even doing there. The entire evening basically constituting to watching his co-workers ramble on about various subjects that he could not get the meaning behind. After a while of heavy drinking, that he did not participate in, everyone either went bar-hopping or went home passed out in a taxi. He truly did not understand the purpose of such gatherings and he started to wonder how he’d even fit into society.  

As he thought to himself, the sudden words from the bartender disrupted his thoughts.

“Oh hey, Y/N. Long time, no see.”

The abrupt sound of your name made him widen his eyes and his body unconsciously jolt in the barstool. Was it really the same Y/N? No, it couldn’t be. Surely there were a bountiful amount of people with names that were similar to yours. But he had to check for himself, so he looked up from his empty glass and-

“Haha…Shinsou. Looking as gorgeously sleepy as ever. How are you?”

The sounds of your conversation with the bartender drowned out with the rest of the bustled atmosphere as he glared upon you. Without a doubt, it was you. He could never forget that figure. That figure that towered over him menacingly even though he was taller than you. That figure that just watched from a distance as you sent your delinquent underlings to pummel him into the cold cement. That figure who would bow respectfully to teachers when they dismissed any reports of your lechery. And now that same figure was only a few feet away from him, sitting gracefully at the bar counter as you talked to the unknowing bartender.

His glare locked long enough onto your figure for you to finally meet his eyes. And before he could look away, you had called out to him.

“Eh..? To…Todoroki?” You had softly called out to him. Using his name in a way that he had never heard from you before. Using a voice that harshly contradicted the patronizing tone you barked commands at him with. “It’s really you, isn’t it?”. You were smiling at him. Smiling at him as if he were a longtime friend that you missed connections with due to one of you going abroad.

You had hopped out of the barstool and approached your old classmate, taking a new seat beside him. He looked over at the wall of drinks displayed in front him, avoiding your gazing. “Wow…you’re all grown up now, huh?” You looked over to the bartender raising your hand at him. “Shinsou~ A refill on whatever he had, okay? Make it two actually.” The bartender simply nodded at you before mixing up various alcohol and flavors behind the counter.

“I..I don’t want to drink.” Todoroki shivered at his own statement as he was reminded of the times you’d scream at him for not doing something you’d ask.

“What? Don’t be ridiculous. It’s on me, okay? Don’t worry about it.” You had inched your head more over the counter trying to get a better look at him. “Your hair…I always thought it was dyed. But I guess its real, huh.” You reached your hand out to run your fingertips through his silky bi-colored bangs. He twitched at your touch.

What exactly were you doing? Acting so innocent with him like this. Were you just going to pretend like the three-year long trauma you subjected him to was a fable? An illusion? Or perhaps you had minimized the damage you’d done in your mind in order to preserve your own sanity as you took over a new life.

“...Y/N. What are you doing?”

You quirked your eyebrows in confusion at his question. “What do you mean? I just…I just think your hair is really pretty is all.”

Were you faking it? Was this another one of your atrocious jokes? Perhaps within the next minute you’d start cackling at him, asking him how he could be stupid enough to believe he deserved such niceties from the likes of you.

Todoroki looked down and squeezed the empty glass on the counter. “Don’t you…don’t you remember? What you did to me?”

“Todoroki…” You lowered your eyebrows in sorrow. “I-I’m sorry for what I did to you back then. I was indeed…a cruel person. I know you probably won’t accept that…but I still want to tell you. You at least deserve my apology. As cheap as it is.”

He looked over to you, surprised at your apologetic tone. He gazed into your e/c eyes. The very e/c eyes that captured the hearts of everyone around you, yet seethed supremacy and calamity toward him. He had learned to distrust anyone with eyes that resembled yours. The eyes that were now looking at him with…

Remorse. Your eyes were burdening in remorse. As soon as Todoroki saw the guilt that dwelled in your eyes he knew that this wasn’t a joke. That you weren’t pretending to feel these things. The look in your eyes unquestionably conveyed the apology you had stated earlier.

And it was that same look that would ascend an unusual beast that lurked within the visceral regions of his body. An unfamiliar thirst that stayed submerged within him, never needing to be satisfied until now. It gurgled within the depths of his gut, practically wanting to vomit out of his esophagus.

A beast that went by the name of revenge. And it would be so easy to pursue it right now with the plague of repentance beating in your heart.

Todoroki placed one of his hands on yours and squeezed tightly. Your skin was so soft, so smooth. He could never take the time to feel how delicate your skin was when the only touch of yours he knew before was the stinging slaps you’d deliver on his face. But tonight, he’d be able to feel something more, and the touch of his hands on yours only made the beast inside of him grow more and more unruly.

“I forgive you, Y/N.” He tried to state it in the softest way possible, making sure the feigning of the line wouldn’t be discovered. However, he knew you believed him by the twinkle in your eye, signifying an immense weight had been lifted off your shoulders.

“Todoroki…” A warm tear dropped from your cheek to his hand. “Thank you, Todoroki… thank you.” More tears would soon follow and drop onto his hand. He would’ve let go of you if he wasn’t so encapsulated by the feeling of your salty waters dropping onto his skin. As your tears cooled and dried up into his hand, he couldn’t have felt more enthused.

It was only then that Todoroki could take in the beauty that was your face. You looked so elegant like that, with pools of emotions trailing down your cheeks. Maybe if he’d seen this site of you in high school he’d had instantly fell in love. But such feelings didn’t reside in him anymore. They’d been evicted by the lurking beast of revenge, and that beast was craving more of this site from you.

“Two Vieux Carre cocktails” The bartender had placed the drinks on the counter in front of each of you before grabbing something under the counter. “…and a tissue”. He handed the soft fabric to you which made you giggle a bit.

“Thank you, Shinsou.”

He simply hummed a reply at you and returned to making drinks for other patrons that had walked in.

While you wiped away the allure that was your tears, Todoroki sat there, thinking of prolific strategies of how to get you under his grip. Should he just ask you to come home with him? Wouldn’t that be too straight forward? He didn’t know much about social interactions, but he knew asking a woman at a bar to come home with him had its underlying implications. And its not that he was undesired by women; he knew of the colleagues in his office that held romantic feelings for him. He just never followed through with any of them, never feeling anything close to the desires that were brought for him.

He also couldn’t help but feel subconscious about asking you to come home with him. You were the person that so incredibly ridiculed him for three years. You were still the same person who made him believe that no sane person would ever look twice at him. That he was too weak and monotonous to ever make someone feel happy.

Or were you? It seemed that whatever life change you went through caused you to redevelop your entire personality. Maybe you’d be like most the women he encountered in his life and become attracted to him? After-all, he also wasn’t the same person as he was in high school. He’d become stronger mentally and physically as well as much more confident about himself.

“Y/N, would you like to…finish drinking at my home?”

You stopped drying your tears at the suddenness of the question. “Huh?...You actually want me in your home?”

“Only if you want to.” Todoroki squeezed your hand again attempting to signal the desire to have you with him in private.

Blood rose to your nose and you looked away in embarrassment. “…Okay.”

Todoroki couldn’t stop the widening of his eyes at your acceptance. A part of him truly believed you’d call him disgusting before jumping up and delivering one of your characteristic slaps to his face. The heavens knew just how badly that needed to happen. If you’d rejected him, the beast of revenge may have gone right back to where it resided, deep in the subconscious of his mind.

But no, you’d accepted him. And with that, you’d accept your punishment. If you were truly ready to take on a new life, you would need to repent for your old one.

------------------------------------------------------------

Todoroki couldn’t stop the erratic beating of his heart as the two of you walked over the threshold into his house. He was closer and closer to fulfilling the dream of having you within his grips. But he couldn’t be too impatient as this would be the part where he would need to tread carefully. As the two of you took off your shoes, he would continue to watch your every move, like a jaguar stalking its prey.

“Woww!” Your eyes wandered around Todoroki’s living room, amazed at how expansive and beautifully designed it was. “Your house is so luxurious! And polished!” You looked back at Todoroki. “It suits you.”

Todoroki was a bit taken aback by your statement. As far as he knew, you had a rich father who catered to everything your callous heart desired. He was partly the reason behind his suffering seeing as that your father made sure any unpleasantry brought against you was hushed behind a closed door. “You aren’t used to this?” He stepped over to the mini-bar area and reached up to grab a specific bottle of wine.

“Huh?” You followed behind him and leaned against the bar counter, grazing your finger over the refined marble surface.  

“This…kind of house. You aren’t used to it?” He grabbed a corkscrew from the drawer and began to pry off the wine bottle’s cork. “Your father was a rich businessman was he not?”

You scoffed as you rested your elbow on the marble. “My father was in the yakuza. Rich in some aspects, but no businessman.” Your eyes fell from Todoroki to the counter. “And we never got to live in a place anywhere this grand. Especially after he was taken down by the cops…”

“I see.” It made perfect sense honestly. Your yakuza connections would explain the lackeys, the apathy of the teachers towards your lechery, the strange approval of your actions by the entire class. It must’ve been hard behind the scenes having to be the daughter of a yakuza member, but nonetheless it wouldn’t your crimes against his humanity. Todoroki poured two glasses of wine and placed one on the counter next to you.

“Should we…sit on the couch?” You looked towards to main part of the living room, eyes landing on Todoroki’s expensive sectional. “I-I mean…if you want to…”

Todoroki noticed the flustering of your face and couldn’t help but think that if the two of you had met under different pretexts he would surely have made you his wife. But marriage is not what this affair is about. This affair is about satisfying the demon that grew expansively inside of him.

He grabbed your hand and intertwined his fingers between yours as he picked up both glasses with his other hand. “I’d love to, Y/N”.

He walked the two of you over to the couch, waiting until you sat down to hand you your glass and sit closely beside you. He carefully watched as you took sips from the glass, mesmerized by the shape of lips and how you’d glossed them for your night out. They looked so soft and delicate and perfectly matched the dimensions of your face.

But your naivety obviously outmatched your beauty Todoroki thought. How could you so easily drink from the hands of someone who would so obviously want to get revenge on you? Did your newfound personality make you oblivious to the dangers of life? Maybe after wanting to permanently discard the remains of the yakuza from your brain, you decided to look at people in a new light. Maybe you wanted to just see the good in everyone and learn that most people aren’t out to destroy you. It is indeed a true thought; most people don’t want to destroy you.

But most people also don’t subject those around them to abhorrent acts of malice. And for that, your naivety would prove to be one of the worst decisions you’d made in your small existence.

“Your wine…it tastes very good.” You had swirled what left of it you had before drinking it all within a couple more gulps.

Probably the best compliment you could have said in your life. Todoroki had taken the time to make sure every speckle of power was completely dissolved into the wine. He couldn’t taste it himself or get a taste tester of course, so he would have just had to wait until your ultimate encountering to test it. And it worked.

“It was a gift from a friend abroad.” A lie. But a believable lie. “I’m glad you like it.”

You quizzingly looked at his still full glass of wine in his hand. “Why didn’t you drink any?”

“Oh...I- well I guess I am already a bit tipsy from the bar so further consumption would be ill-advised.” He smoothy stated before placing the glass on the coffee table in front of the couch.

You giggled at the statement as Todoroki internally cackled at your gullibility.

“You know, Todoroki…” Your eyes strayed to your lap. “I know this must mean nothing coming from me but…I liked you a lot in high school.” You twirled your index finger in circles on your skirt. “And I know I was mean to you but…I believe that our encounter must have been fate because, well…I still like you.”

Todoroki smiled, a cover-up for the guttural laughter that wanted to burst out of him. He let go of your hand and traced his fingers across your cheek before holding the side of your face delicately in his hand. “That…means more than you’d ever know, Y/N.”

“Shouto…”

He leaned over to give you a peck on the cheek before pressing his lips against yours. Your lips were just as soft as they looked and the gloss you wore provided a sweet vanilla taste. You sunk your hand into the red side of his hair before slipping your tongue in between his lips. Your tongue felt hot in his mouth and Todoroki grabbed your head to pull you deeper into the kiss. He tasted every part of your mouth that he could with his tongue. Your teeth, your gums, the inside of your cheeks. He made sure to leave his mark everywhere in your mouth, foreboding to the marks that would soon be left on your body.

As his kiss got deeper, yours became shallower and lazier. Eventually you pressed your hand against his chest to softly get him to back up.

“I’m sorry, Shouto…” You pressed your hand to your forehead. “It seems…I have a headache…and I’m kinda sleepy.” Your eyelids drooped heavily as sleep seemed to overcome you. “I…should go home.”

Shouto grabbed your head and leaned you down on the couch, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Ssshh…its okay Y/N. You can just sleep here for tonight. I’ll drive you back in the morning.”

“Okay…thankyou, Shouto.” You quickly drifted off to sleep at the finish of your sentence.

When Todoroki felt the heaves of your chest raise higher and lower at deeper levels, he picked you up into his arms, carrying you gently to make sure you wouldn’t wake up. Though that was a rare chance seeing as how he put a little extra power in the wine to make sure it would subdue you. He carried you down the corridor to the door that would lead to your demise. Before he walked down the stairs, he whispered into your non-listening ear.

“This encounter is indeed special, Y/N. But it will be more special to you than it will for me…because tonight will mark my vengeance. And tonight will also mark…your repentance.”

[leileisa]

hold on [ kuroo tetsurō x reader ] [ soulmate! au ]

   ⌙ kuroo has been against love since the very beginning, but maybe you can give him something to hold onto.

when you love someone, and they break your heart   don’t give up on love, have faith restart

part of the love is on it’s way series [masterlist]

word count: 2.2k

genre: fluff? kinda? maybe a little angst

warnings: timeskip spoilers, arguments

ever since he was young, kuroo has had multiple interactions with lady luck.

but he knows that she’s not picking on him for every single thing he does, because he’s had one too many valuable experiences throughout his life that, when he looks back on, makes a soft smile break out on his face in content. he’s well aware that lady luck has been especially kind with his friendships- he’s so thankful for every single person in his life, but he’d be caught dead before being sentimental to their faces. she’s also been generous with his success and his smarts, and while he knows that he worked hard in school, opportunities like his didn’t come out of thin air.

kuroo tetsurō knows that he’s living a life that others would kill to have, and he’s appreciative of his good luck; he wouldn’t change the opportunities that he was given for anything. but with all the good that lady luck has given him, he can’t help but bear the overwhelming weight of hating the one thing that others hold so dear to their heart, the thing that clutches the hearts of everyone around him so tightly and refuses to let go.

he thinks that people who believe in love- in their soulmates, specifically- are foolish. not stupid, or dumb, just unaware of the deceitful illusion that was marred onto their skin that they believe to be their ‘one, true person’. they’re fools because they haven’t seen what love can do to people. it’s destructive, dangerous, an unstable hallucination that people cling to on the belief that it’ll make them happy, and it’ll satisfy their need to be loved. their expectations of love blind them from the reality of a fabricated assurance that was never actually promised to them- just idealized in order to create a society that was dead set on believing.

but believing wasn’t enough, not whenever you’re a product of a  mother and father who separated because their love for each other had crashed and faded away into nothing-ness. it was obvious, after a short period of time, that they were tired of pretending; the fighting, the screaming, and sometimes even short bouts of violence that haunted his childhood. he remembers crying himself to sleep nearly every night.

kuroo despises that people can love blindly. he doesn’t see a reason why a phrase that magically appears once you turn eighteen should determine who you’re supposed to fall in love with. he used to argue that he hated soulmates because there was no scientific reason behind them, that it was almost impossible for the universe to have a perfect match for everyone, but even his science-obsessed self couldn’t put it off for so long (he got tired of saying “magic isn’t real, so why are soulmates?”). so he decided that his person would be a person he chooses, not someone that was picked out for him.

but after numerous arguments with his friends, he stopped bringing it up. nobody besides kenma, his best friend, knew why he was so against soulmates, and he wanted it to stay that way.

when he turned eighteen, kuroo can’t say that he wasn’t a little bit excited to see his tattoo, his tattoo that would show what the first thing his ‘soulmate’ was going to say to him. it was like a mystery game; was it going to be something funny, a witty pick-up line, maybe? or was it going to be an apology- maybe you two bumped into each other on accident. the possibilities were endless, and it was exciting to see what would be on his skin forever. but there was no way that he believed in soulmates, or that this person would be his person forever.

but when his tattoo finally showed up, at the ass crack of dawn on his birthday, right on the inside of his pinky finger (which was really weird, because he’s never seen that on any of his seniors, ever), he knew that lady luck was on his side.

‘sorry, but no.’

it was almost ironic- actually, it was totally ironic, that the first things his soulmate would say to him was something so bland and boring. it actually gave him a sense of relief, knowing that the first thing that this person would say to him is a dismissive apology, and it only fueled his distain for soulmates even more.

the satisfaction that he got eventually led to him forgetting about his mark, and it helped him focus on his future. in a way, he was thankful for his soulmate for his tremendous success.

it helped him live more freely, to live without restraint, when he talked to people. it was almost impossible to completely avoid the topic of soulmates, but he didn’t care. he wasn’t worried about what others thought of him, because it was his life. he lived it however he wanted. and if there was anything that his mark told him, it was that his soulmate wasn’t interested in him either.

kuroo was incredibly charismatic, and he knew how to keep a conversation. he knew of so many things, old and new, that kept everyone he was talking to on his toes. he flirted endlessly with people, and it didn’t hurt his feelings when someone turned him down. he knew how people were fully committed to a person they had yet to meet, or had already fallen in love with. he respected other people’s decision, because he knew what is was like when people disrespected his.

but lady luck had a twisted sense of humor.

it was just supposed to be a get together with his friend, bokuto. catching up, he called it, after months of being busy with their adult lives. the two sat at a fancy restaurant (past them would never believe that they’d be successful enough to spend this much money on food), dressed head to toe in suits that made the middle-class drool with envy.

“still not feelin’ the whole soulmate thing, huh?” bokuto asked, closing the menu. there was so many options it was overwhelming, but he knew what he wanted (he wasn’t the type to explore his tastebuds).

“don’t think i ever will,” kuroo replied, meeting bokuto’s teasing eye contact.

“that’s so funny,” the professional volleyball player said. kuroo was proud that one of his closest friends got so far with  his passion, but who in their right mind would let an overgrown child on the court?

“how so?” he prompted.

bokuto grinned, leaning onto the table. he was cautious not to knock over the expensive alcohol. “i met someone the other day,” he said; kuroo groaned, and he awaited for an upcoming tale of what he assumed to be bokuto’s soulmate encounter, but was instead met with: “who has the same feeling about soulmates that you do.”

“oh really?” kuroo had met a select few who had the same thought process as him. well, theirs more steered on the ‘how can a soul be split in two’ while his was more like ‘i’ve seen how faulty soulmates can be’.

“yup,” bokuto said, popping the ‘p’, "you guys should talk!"

"i think i'm okay," kuroo responded, taking a delicate sip of his whiskey. it stung as it went down, but what's to enjoy in life if there's little pain?

"no, seriously," bokuto stated, getting his phone out of his coat pocket. "you guys should talk. you two have a lot in common."

the noirette rolled his eyes, leaning back in the cushioned chair. "how so?"

"you guys both can't get a date." bokuto grinned, holding the phone up to his ear, “let's see if she picks up."

"haha," kuroo said, voice monotone, "very funny." he was a little ticked that bokuto was calling a girl during thier friend-date, but once bokuto had his mind set on something, trying to get him to stop was impossible.

he saw bokuto’s eyes gleam with mischief when the ringing stopped, and kuroo thought he heard a “what do you want?” coming from the other end.

“you know how you talked about never being able to get a date?” bokuto asked. he didn’t wait for your response before he handed the phone to kuroo with an overly eager nod.

“sorry, but no.”

kuroo’s throat went dry as his mind instantly raced to the words that were tattooed on his the inside of his smallest finger. suddenly, he’s anxious. his heart stops, and his hands are starting to get sweaty. he doesn’t know what to say-

“i’m not going on a date with you, bo.”

it doesn’t make sense, kuroo thinks. you weren’t talking to him, you didn’t know he was the one who had his phone to his ear, so how- just how were those the same words that were supposed help him find his other half?

the lack of response obviously confused you, and he heard a small ‘bo?’ from the other side of the phone. he couldn’t help it, he told himself, that he thought your voice sounded beautiful. you were supposed to be perfect to him, but there’s no way that you were actually meant for him. so with a wary glance towards his friend, kuroo got himself together.

“well, that’s just not nice.” he said. he’s surprised he didn’t stutter, with how his heart was still racing. maybe it’s the faint amount of alcohol in his veins that provided little comfort, but he’d take what he could get.

for a moment, kuroo is afraid. he’s afraid you’ll hang up on him, because if bokuto said you two have the same view on soulmates, he feels like you’d run away. not because you’re scared of the commitment, but because you know what being a soulmate entails. he knows that the most frightening thing to him is being forced to love someone, and the endless possibilities that could follow. he’s afraid because he doesn’t know the outcome, and he assumes you feel the same way. he tells himself that it doesn’t mean anything if you hang up.

but you stutter for a second, at a loss for words, just like he was. there’s silence on your side, and he knows you figured out that you’re supposed to be meant for each other. he waits for it, the monotonous beeping to show that you’ve ended the call, but-

“have you met bo?” you ask, voice quiet. “he’s-“

“a lot,” kuroo finishes, and he knows that he’s done for.

he’s lived his whole life telling himself that the connection and relief you feel when you meet your soulmate isn’t real. he rejected the thought of soulmates since he was little. but even he can’t ignore the feeling of his swelling heart as a smile breaks across his face. it’s an overwhelming sense of comfort that flows through his body, and he can’t do anything to dwell the overall pleasantness that he feels inside from just talking to you.

you, his soulmate, the person he told himself he was never going to give a fading chance because there's no way that he'd love someone just because the universe told him to. you, his soulmate, the person that he wants to hate so much because he doesn't believe in a love that's set in stone for him. you, his soulmate, the person that he didn't choose.

“yeah, a lot,” you agree, and he hears you let out a small chuckle- it’s a blessing to his ears, “and ugly.”

kuroo laughs, because that’s definitely not how anyone would describe the professional volleyball player, and he knows you say it in jest.

“you wouldn’t go on a date with him because he’s ugly?” he asks, saying it loud and clear for bokuto to hear. his friend lets out a loud ‘hey!’, loud enough for you to hear, and his suspicions are only confirmed when he hears you let out a snicker. the conversation is cut short when the phone is snatched out of his hands, and kuroo laughs again as bokuto hangs up the call after telling you ‘if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.’

"i'll send you her number," bokuto says with a pout on his face. and kuroo can't wait. once he feels the vibration of a notification that bokuto did, in fact, send your contact to him. he doesn't hesitate to send you a quick text.

[kuroo tetsurō to you]      would you go on a date with me?

he curses lady luck. he's mad that, within a span of less than two minutes, he might change his mind on soulmates. he's scared because he knows that, if he goes along with what fate has in store for him, he might get hurt. he can't lie and say that your voice wasn't magic to his ears, and that he can't wait to hear it again, but he has to pace himself. if he throws all the caution that his past has given him, he's can't help but think that his parents divorce would have taught him nothing.

but it was so easy to talk to you, even if it was to make fun of your mutual friend. even as bokuto's pouting at him from across the table, kuroo can't fight the grin that's been on his face for the past few minutes.

[you to kuroo tetsurō]      idk, are you ugly too?

kuroo just hopes that you're both willing to give this whole soulmates thing a chance.

taglist: @noya-sleftankle​, @crayonwriting​, @aonenthusiast​ (there was one more ask that i forgot to save the name of! im so sorry ☹︎ )

►send an ask/dm me to be added to the taglist!

[arashikitten]

“I am Danny Phantom”

Who knew that four words were all it took to turn someone’s entire life on its head? Well, Valerie knew, her father being fired and her subsequently being dropped by the A-listers proved that, but....

Danny Fenton. The small, quiet, funny, space-obsessed, sleep-deprived, nervous guy who slept in class, made puns out of everything, her boyfriend... was Phantom. The ghost who had ruined her life, who was a menace to the town, who had committed several crimes including kidnapping the mayor. They were the same person.

Her suit was on before she could blink, guns powering up and aimed at Phantom- Fenton- Danny.

“One reason. Give me one. Goddamned. Reason why I shouldn’t put a hole in your head.” Everything was red. She felt nothing but the blood in her veins turning into fire, only heard the sound of her heart pounding in her ears. It would be so, so easy to turn this... this monster into a pile of ectoplasm. All it would take was one little blast...

“Because it was an accident.”

Silence. It rang in her ears like a gunshot, quieting the pounding of her heart like the forest before the storm. Where her anger was once fiery red, now it was cold, calm blue, freezing everything in her path.

“What?” Her voice sounded flat, no hint of anger, and yet the ghost shuffled back slightly, wringing it’s... his hands nervously. (Somewhere in the back of her mind, a part of her recognized that was a habit of Fentons, that Danny- no, Fenton has been doing that earlier. Valerie shut that thought down before it reached farther into her head.)

“It was an accident. That ghost dog... Cujo, he- he was, um, looking for his- his toy because he’d been euthanized by Axion labs after they got the, uh, new security systems. He was just loking for his toy.”

“Then why were you there, spook?”

A pause. He was wringing his hands again. It caught her off guard slightly, how... human he looked. If you took away the glow and bright white hair, he could’ve easily passed as a normal highschooler. (That’s because he is human, part of her mind screeched at her. That’s your boyfriend for fucks sake, it said. Again, she shut it out.)

“I can sense them. The ghosts, I mean. Whenever one shows up, there’s this sort of... smoke, kinda, that I breathe. And that’s how I know if one’s around. So that night, when- when Cujo showed up, I sensed him and went to check it out. I never meant to get your father fired, or to- to fuck the place up as bad as I did. I’m sorry.”

Anger bubbled up in her again. He thought- he really fucking thought that a simple damned apology fixed that? Hell no! He’d screwed over her entire life, got her father fired, committed several crimes, and he thought a simple ass ‘I’m sorry’ would fix it?

She took aim, charging up her blasters.

“I don’t care if you’re sorry. You’re a ghost, a crook, and a thief. And I’ll be doing the whole world a favor by getting rid of you.”

Her blasters were charged up. All it would take now was for her to-

“Then do it.”

Valerie almost dropped her blaster. Had- had she heard that right? She stared at Phantom.

He was rooted to the spot, arms down by his sides, eyes scrunched shut. He was still in his ghost form, but he wasn’t levitating.

What in the hell?

“What do you mean ‘then do it’?” You’re not- you’re not even gonna try to fly off?”

“No.”

“Why?”

At that, Danny- no, Phantom opened his eyes. He looked, scared. Sad. Like he had seen a massacre, or a war.

“A couple of weeks ago... when- when we were about to take the CAT... I- well I got the answer key to the test. And... I wasn’t in a great place, mentally, at the time. I mean, I’m still not, but... it was different, in a way. But basically, what, well, what happened was that I was so stressed out, because I was trying to protect the town and my friends from ghosts, and my parents were just getting worse about trying to hunt me down, and my grades are already shit, and Mr. Lancer kept saying that this test would determine my future and I just...” Danny stopped, shaking and hugging himself. He looked.... Valerie didn’t think she’d ever seen him look this distraught, as Phantom or Fenton. It made something in her chest tighten, made her stomach twist.

“I... I had the answers. And I was already so worried about... well, everything, that I decided to cheat. I figured that maybe I could just do it one time, and then that’d be it, you know? But... of course, of course, it couldn’t be that simple.” Now he sounded... tired. Worn, and not in a good way, more like a war veteran disallusioned with the world. (Something in Valerie told her that maybe this was the real Danny, the part of him he refused to show anyone. The tired fighter who wanted nothing more than to be able to go to sleep without worrying if he was going to wake up with a gun pointed at him.. or if he would wake up at all.)

“Essentially what happened was that Sam, Tucker and I got sort of... teleported about ten years into the future, and... apparently me cheating on one stupid test leads to the end of the world, because Mr. Lancer would find out that I had cheated and would call a meeting with my parents at the Nasty Burger, which would then blow up and kill my friends and family.” Danny was shaking now, arms wrapped around himself as though he was trying to protect himself from his own words.

“That, in turn, lead to me tearing the ghost part out of me, which then proceeded to fuse with Vla- the Wisconsin Ghost. When- well, when that happened, it- drove my ghost half.... I-insane. And then he was killing people all over and... and I- I killed people in that timeline! I did the- the one thing I said I would never fucking do, and I killed someone.”

Danny was on his knees now, quietly sobbing. His black hair (when had he turned back?) shone in the sun.

Valerie was rooted to the spot. How in the hell did someone deal with that? Fuck, how in the hell would someone deal with any of this? In the span of about thirty minutes, Valerie had discovered that not only was her boyfriend dead, but was the town’s widely considered hero and had apparently fought an evil version of his future self and had almost seen all of his friends and family die.

And, to top it all off, he’d discovered that not only were his own parents hunting him, but she was too. Valerie felt sick.

Jesus. Just how much shit had she put him through? Fuck- was that why he was so nervous about telling her he was Phantom? Granted she was still pissed at him, but not for the Cujo thing. Not really.

“Danny.” He looked up at her, and she felt something in her chest break at just how scared and sad he looked. Was this the sort of shit he had to deal with every damn day? All that fear, over being hunted, or experimented on, or getting everyone he loved killed- was this how he felt all the time?

Slowly, Valerie stepped towards him and knelt down. Her eyes never left his.

“Danny. I care... so, so much about you. You... you were the first person to really give a shit about me, after the A-listers dropped me.”

Immediately he tensed, and distress filled his eyes.

“I’m-“

“Nope, don’t, stop. You’re not apologizing. Not right now. Maybe later. Not fucking now.”

He fell silent, eyes wide and searching. Still scared, still tense.

“You love space, and puns. Your favorite video game is Doom 4 even though you’ve never won. Your favorite subject is science, you’ve always wanted a dog, and you doodle in the margins of your paper when your bored.” Valerie paused.

Danny seemed to be noticeably more relaxed, as he was no longer gripping his knees so hard that his knuckles (how had she not noticed the scars? They weren’t exactly small.) were white. Good.

“You adore your mom and dad, even if they embarrass you all the time. You look up to your sister more than anyone on the planet, even if you don’t act it. You don’t make friends often, but when you do you stick with them through hell or high water. You’re incredibly smart when it comes to science and math, even if you have bad grades. And above all, you care so much about bathe people around you. You sacrifice everything, your grades, your relationships, your time, to help people who you think need it. And that applies to phantom and Fenton.”

He was crying again. But this time, there was a small, shaky sort of smile there, one that said something like this was looong overdue.

Slowly, Valerie recalled her suit, and wrapped her arms around Danny in a loose hug. He hugged back burying his face into her shoulder as he shook.

They would be okay. They’d figure it out, eventually.

But for now, they just enjoyed the relief in each other.

——————————

Aaaaand that’s a wrap folks! Part three is finally here! Not gonna lie, I wrote this in the span of about two and a half hours on mobile from 9 to about 11:20 pm, so apologies if there are any inconsistencies.

That being said, I would like to do a poll. I have about 120 followers and I was wondering if I should write something special for y’all once I reach 150. So, would you rather I write:

1) a Danny phantom/Rise of the Guardians crossover,

2) a Danny Phantom TUE! Au fic,

Or

3) part 3 of my Glass ghost au?

Comment your choice below and have a happy weekend or whatever.

[lizacstuff]

SCK Asks: Episode 38

(asks under the cut)

Anonymous said: happy edser just HITS different. maybe it's because we've been so deprived of them together and blissful, it's such a joy to watch. i had a silly grin on my face during all their scenes. sure the tumor cloud is looming over our heads, but this episode only laid the foundation for that and then went into romcom mode, which i really appreciated because we've been bogged down for SO LONG with heaviness, it was nice to just take a breather.

OMG! Yes, all of this. And I’m not sure if it’s happy Edser that hits different, or if it was whatever magic and sparkle these writers injected into this episode that made it hit different.  

The magic was BACK. The sparkle was BACK. These writers took the most ridiculous scenario idea (these two famous architects deciding to solve a murder) and just made it sing. I grinned through the whole thing and laughed out loud, A LOT. 

This was the first episode in ages where I wasn’t watching the clock and waiting for some uncomfortable or unpleasant moment or scene to occur. Instead watching was pure joy and no anxiety, even with a tumor diagnosis. 

There was so much good Edser in this episode it’s hard to know what to talk about. I loved every moment they were on screen together. 

Anonymous said: I have to hand it to you, you said that the reason they were doing this pregnancy story is so that we could find out that Selin and Serkan never slept together. ngl I wanted her to suffer more, but as long as she’s gone I’m fine with her punishment being the humiliation of having to admit that in front of Eda. 

Ha! Yes, I have said that all along, and I’ve never been more relieved to be right. They really went the extra mile with having Selin spell out that it hadn’t happened.  With the English subs it almost sounded like they had never, ever had sex, even before.  If so, I could actually believe it, their prior relationship seemed to be very business like, like they were each other’s safe, convenient date to business and family functions, and it wasn’t emotional or physical for him. 

After the gross story around Selin, and how much damage she did and how much she got away with, this was not nearly enough comeuppance to sate my thirst for her pain. These writers started this story and introduced Selin’s role in it, so it’s not like they 100% inherited something they had nothing to do with. However, between Bige’s limited availability due to her father passing, Sarp Can having covid, and the way the other writers drug it into the ground, I’m also just happy it’s over and will deal with this being all we get, plus, while she didn’t get punished adequately, she did take her lumps. It’s humiliating that Serkan went around acting incredulous to everyone who would listen that she could be pregnant because he never touched her, even while she was his fiancé. I mean that’s a shrinker. Can you imagine agreeing to marry a man who you knew didn’t want to touch you? Everyone now knows her sad, pathetic desperation to have him under any circumstances. Yikes. 

And as you say, she then had to stand in front of Eda and Serkan and admit he didn’t touch her. Admit that Serkan never wanted her, and it’s humiliating that everyone at Art Life knows what she did and thinks she’s a monster. Serkan finally knows she’s an awful manipulator who tried to trick him, and in the end she gets an unplanned pregnancy with a man who doesn’t love her and whom she doesn’t love.  So it’s not like she’s winning by any stretch of the imagination. 

(Though I really wish everyone knew (mostly Serkan and Eda) that she sabotaged Eda’s presentation. It’s important for the characters to know that she can’t be trusted professionally as well as personally... but oh well.)

Anonymous said: Two things: 1) I kinda love it even more that they got the tattoos before he found about the illness.. idk why but it was even MORE romantic. Also does this mean they're kinda sorta engaged again since the reason she said no in the first place was Selin? and 2) I need more of that "ring for love" bell ASAP. My jaw actually dropped when he lifted her up since we were deprived of it in 26.. please more breaking of family structures!!

Oh I agree, I found it very romantic they went and got the tattoos and the only impetus was their desire to have a symbol of their love. I already love those tattoos so much, and I love that they sat their designing them together. They really do signify the ultimate commitment. 

I’m not sure if they’re engaged or not. Maybe they’re in a place where it’s obvious they’re going to get married, they both know they’re going to get married, but we’re still going to get one more proposal to make it official?  

As for the ring for love bell, when and where did he get that!? Hee. And yes to more breaking of the Turkish family structure. That lift and twirl through the living room was... HOT. And it was just so effortless, there are just no words at times for how good Hande and Kerem are, I’ve really never seen anything like it. They don’t really have time to rehearse on set, or limitless takes or the time to really block and perfect things, but they’re just so good together they make magic happen every time they’re on screen.  Amazing. Enjoy this kids, because you probably won’t see anything like it again. 

Anonymous said: With the nature of these shows, Eda and Serkan will not a blissful happily ever after without something hanging over there heads or some new drama until the show actually ends. So if the new angst is Serkan's potential illness, I'm down for the potential angst it'll create.. it's already a good sign that, although he hasn't told her about it yet, he's not pushing her away in fear, but instead the opposite. I also don't think, and really hope not, him keeping it secret rn won't cause trouble.

Yes, I like that even with that heavy health news hanging over the episode, it was still light and funny and romantic and had that old sparkle. That tells me that they’re going to strike the right tone with this story which seems to be a very carpe diem thing with Serkan. 

It didn’t bother me that he didn’t tell her. First, he told the doctor that he didn’t want anyone to know until he had a diagnosis. That makes sense, why worry her, or any of them, before they know.  I’m sure I would feel different if he was pushing her away because of the diagnosis, but since he’s holding her close and just seems to want to spend time with her, without that heaviness hanging over her head, I’m okay with it. 

Also, as seen in the new fragman, if this story is an excuse to get them out of the office and put them in all sorts of scenarios together it would otherwise be hard to justify, bring it on.  Let’s see how far down the list of things to do they can get! 

Anonymous said: i know no one reaaaally cares because they're not most people's favorite side characters, but it's really much nicer to watch aydan and ayfer scenes now that they're both on "team edser" and have become really good friends. i swear, the AAA trio scenes were so unbearable to watch when they were fighting over him and i was fast forwarding through all of them.. at least i can sit through team "united" aydan/ayfer scenes.

They’re actually enjoyable scenes now! I love that they’ve become actual true friends, best friends really, and along with Seyfi I love their little trio.  Love that Seyfi and Ayfer were being so supportive about Aydan rekindling something with Kemal.  And I agree that we can root for them when they’re working for Edser’s well-being and happiness.  I just hope Aydan doesn’t do something stupid if there begins to be some question about Serkan’s parentage. 

Anonymous said: the scooby doo gang ending had me laughing so hard i was tearing up when more and more people kept sneaking in and eda and serkan were getting more and more exasperated. erdem accidentally using flash took me tf out lmao. i love when sck does comedy with the whole cast and not just the usual "comedy" characters.. they're some of my favorite scenes! both "asking for the girl" scenes come to mind.

You could see Erdem using the flash coming from a mile away, but that still didn’t blunt the comedy when he actually did it.  So funny. Also Engin not recognizing Eda, imagine him thinking Serkan is there with some rando woman.  I also love the full cast comedy scenes, they are so much fun and really should be utilized as often as possible. 

The scene where Edser walk back into the house and Aydan and Kemal were there paying their respects had me screech-laughing! So so so funny. Both sides being incredulous that the other was there and wanting answers!  I also enjoyed that Serkan obviously put Erdem in charge of Kemal’s project, because he wants that project to go away. Unfortunately for Serkan, I think it’s going to take more than Erdem to drive Kemal away.  

Anonymous said: Everyone is saying serkan planned the whole thing, do you buy into that? Idk would he really put everyone in a gunpoint situation where they don’t know it’s fake? Cause that’s some potentially trauma inducing stuff. Also I have no idea where they’re going with this, since it’s been a 4 day break from set which is kind of worrying. And do you know why Melisa wasn’t in the ep? I know Sarp can got Covid but wasn’t Melisa posting with cast members on her story throughout the week?

Wow, this is a lot of negative energy and fretting after a really good episode. Deep breath. Since you sent this, we know that Hande and Kerem have been shooting for 2 full days at a romantic looking beach location for 39, so it looks like Edser has some sort of mini-getaway. I don’t see any reason to be concerned about the 4 day break last week. (now the fragman’s out, hopefully that puts your mind at ease)

No idea why Melissa wasn’t in the ep, other than the way the ep was structured with the supporting characters, if she had to miss the ArtLife shooting day then I can see that they would have had to write her out of the full episode, because most of their scenes were there and it set up everything for the rest of the episode. So perhaps she was in quarantine for a Covid exposure, maybe she was legit sick/injured (she has had a foot thing) or maybe she had a conflict for that one shooting day. No idea, but I don’t think it’s anything to worry about.  Also her absence gave us Ferit/Melo scenes and I’m 100% behind that, give us more of those! 

As far as if Serkan planned the whole thing, he did look pretty smug and relaxed while sitting there at the end, but he also wasn’t planning for the whole group to tag along and make a mess, lmao. We’ll have to see. 

Anonymous said: Do you think bad ratings makes sck in danger of being cancelled or do you think high social media engagement keeps it safe?

Friends, I don’t know anything about the Turkish system, but it seems to me that SCK will either go through May or extend into summer and end then, regardless of the ratings. We shall see. As I’ve said before I’m not going to engage in the fretting and worrying and discussion on this topic because no fan really knows what they’re talking about and there is nothing we can do to change what will happen. So just enjoy the show while we can, the news on when it will end will come when it comes. 

[thorne93]

History Repeats (Part 13)

Prompt: Life’s hard, right? Well throw in a not so great job, a broken heart, and chasing a pipe dream in LA. But could someone come along to make all the bad shit disappear? Or is he just another heartbreak waiting around the bend?

Warnings: language, drug addiction, alcohol addiction, angst/heartbreak, adult themes (??)

Word Count: 1964

Note: Aesthetic made by @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo because she’s absolutely amazing Beta’d by @like-a-bag-of-potatoes and @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo . Brainstorming from @carryonmyswansong​

**Song Inspiration: Sober - Pink; Forever is a long time - Halsey

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hayden spent all night feeling horrible about what he’d done, but he felt it was right. He barely slept, and now he didn’t know if he needed to find a new place. Not that that was the most important thing right now, but it was a factor he may have to deal with soon. 

You rolled out of bed and groggily went into the kitchen to make coffee. You were a bit surprised to find Hayden already there. 

“Uh, I made coffee,” he informed.

You nodded and went to grab a mug as he began talking from behind you. 

“So, I think we should talk about last night,” he started but you turned around. “I’m sorry, and I’ll start looking for a new place today--”

“No, it’s fine. I, um, I did some thinking,” you said, waving him off. “You.. you might be right. Maybe we did jump into this too fast. I’m not the type to do that at all. I think everything through, but maybe this time was different. I think you’re right. If we take a break and in a year, we still want each other and everything lines up, maybe we should talk then.” 

He gave you a sweet smile, nodding. “Yeah, I think that’s wise. I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean to lead you on or anything.”

“You didn’t,” you assured with a shake of your head. “I’m fine, honestly. I think you should stay here. I mean, unless you’re too weird about it. I still love having you around and we can still be friends. There’s no point to put you out on the streets. We can still be friendly, right?” You grinned at him. 

You were telling the truth. 

It hurt like hell that he didn’t want you romantically right now, that he wanted to think you two were in some rebound phase. It wasn’t true for you, you knew this, but maybe it was for him. So you were willing to set up a time frame that might work for him. Give him an out. Not to mention, you didn’t want to lose him as friend. He did bring more light to your life than any boyfriend or friend ever had, and you didn’t want to lose that just because you broke up. 

Having Hayden in your life was more important than some stupid pride. 

“Yeah, yeah of course,’ he agreed, nodding. He stepped towards you and hugged you. “I completely agree. I’d love nothing more than to be friends.” 

His words made you sting. His touch made you feel as if you were on fire. But you ignored it all and put on a brave face.

----------------------------

The next several days were hard. You weren’t sure which were harder -- being at work at the hotel or the studio away from Hayden or being near him. Seeing him didn’t brighten your day like it used to. You thought it would. For some stupid, silly, naive reason, you thought you’sd still feel warm when you saw him, but you didn’t. All you could see was the man who didn’t want you.

Someone not wanting you was nothing new. Your old friends had stopped checking on you a long time ago, despite your efforts to reach back out to them. All you had now was Hayden and the new people in Trey’s.

But now you didn’t even have Hayden, not really. You tried to make sure things weren’t awkward and just go back to how they were before, but you couldn’t. How could you? How could you pretend you didn’t want to kiss him when he gave you that warm, fond smile? How could you not run your fingers through his hair when he came out of the shower, his hair still wet and looking absolutely hot and adorable? How could you not want to rest your feet in his lap while you two watched TV for a few free hours? How could you not want to cook and clean together and joke around, but then wrap your arms around his waist like always? 

No, life couldn’t return to normal for you with Hayden. That was just no longer an option, the ship had sailed long ago and there was nothing to do about it. 

What made it hurt all the more was that this was always how it happened. You thought everything was fine, you thought things were good and then suddenly, poof - the guy was gone. Were you just blind to signs? Were you just too clingy and guys could sense it and it sent them running? Did you just fall for everyone who was afraid of commitment? 

You should’ve seen this coming. He was with a woman for ten years, had a child with her, but never married her. If that isn’t a sign of a fear of commitment, you weren’t sure what was. 

The parties of Trey’s continued and you decided to frequent even more of them, trying to find any excuse not to be home. More parties meant more alcohol though and you decided to get drunk every night, but then you’d wean off of it, so by the time you got home, you were practically sober again. 

Feeling the thoughts of Hayden fade away with every sip of your drink was fantastic. You weren’t one to usually seek out the bottle in times of distress, but when in Rome… The parties, the company, the drinking -- it all took your mind of Hayden, and you desperately needed it. 

Eventually though, it wasn’t enough. 

The drinks weren’t enough to make you forget about him. He bled through. You were still crying over him at parties. 

One night, you were talking to Darren about it. He was your drummer after all and you’d spent a lot of time with him, became friends. You two were in a booth at a club, in the back corner, talking.

“I just… I just want him back,” you all but sobbed.

“Hey, hey,” he soothed, “use your heartache as a tool for your music, babe. All the best musicians do. Nothing sells more records than heartbreak. Let me tell ya.” 

You nodded. “You’re right, I should.” 

“Fuckin’ a, I’m right. But… if you’re that hung up on the guy, I can help you forget.” 

You frowned. “Forget… like?” 

He nodded before pulling out that white substance again. You felt uneasy about it. 

“Look, I’m right here. I won’t leave you all night. I’ll watch you take it and I’ll keep you safe,” he vowed. 

For some reason, those words, that promise to protect you, it was all you needed to trust him. Forgetting Hayden would be ideal. You’d never hurt this bad. All you did  was nod before he helped you. He poured a tiny amount on your hand, and instructed you on how to take in the substance. 

Once it hit your system, you felt funny. 

“Darren, I don’t feel so good,” you started, feeling extremely anxious.

He held onto you. “Hey, shh, shh, you’re okay. It’s fine. You’re fine. Just ride with it, love.” 

You nodded slowly and let the feelings wash over you naturally. That was all it took. The rest of the night you partied, you danced, you felt great. You weren’t thinking about Hayden at all, and it finally felt amazing to be free of all this heartbreak that had weighed you down. 

That was just the first night. 

Every night after work, you tried to find a party with Darren, or anyone in his circle and you asked for a hit. Hayden was your drug before, but now he was gone. Something had to replace him. 

The routine became the same, and you’d end up home, at the end of your high, with Hayden already in bed. He never saw you drunk, high, or anything other than straight laced heading into work, if that. 

One night though, shortly after you got your hit, you got sick to your stomach. Veronica, a mutual singer friend of Darren’s, offered to drive you home. You took her up on the offer because you were an odd mix of feeling as if you were invincible but also feeling as if you’d throw up. 

She got you home, found your keys, and got you inside. Hayden heard the commotion around 1 AM and came out ot see what was wrong. 

“Oh, hey,” Veronica greeted. “She’s kinda sick so… Who are you?” 

“I’m her roommate,” he said. 

“Ah, okay, cool. I’m gonna leave her in your capable hands then. Just wanted to make sure she got home safe.” She sat you in the chair at your dining room table and waved goodbye as she dropped your purse and key near the door. 

“Y/N? Are you okay?” Hayden asked as he came forward, he started to kneel in front of you but you jumped up. 

“No, not really,” you snapped while you got up. “My stomach hurts like a mother fucker. I need to lie down.” 

Hayden started to grab your shoulders so he could get a good look at you. “Hey, come here. Let me see you.”

“What? No, why? Get off me,” you ordered, wrenching away from him. 

But he got a good enough glimpse. He saw your dialated eyes and that’s all he needed. “Jesus, Y/N. Are you fucking high?” he demanded, angry. 

“Why do you fucking care?” you asked, walking around him. 

“Because I do,” he insisted. “What the hell are you doing? What are you thinking? This is really how you want to start your career? High?”

“Me being high and singing have nothing to do with each other. Last I checked, it’s not any of your fucking business what I’m doing,” you seethed as you got in his face. “It’s my life and you checked out of it a long time ago. If you were ever even in it.” 

“Of course I was in it! I supported all of your talent. I still do. I still think you can make something of yourself without having to be high as a kite to do it.” 

“You’re not my fucking parents,” you angrily reminded.

He retorted, just as angry, “I still give a fuck about you.”

“Yeah you made that very clear when you said you just wanted to be friends,” you snarled.

“What? Because we aren’t sleeping together, it means we don’t care about each other?” he asked, flabbergasted at your outrage. He was just trying to help you, trying to sort out what was going on with you, and you were so angry at him. 

“No, because you just up and left! Because we were perfect, we never fought, and then just like Jason and all of my other ex’s you just threw me away. I guess I’m only good enough to distract men, huh, just not actually commit to? Well, screw you, screw all of you. I’m good enough for Trey and that’s all I need.” 

“I never said any of that! I never said you weren’t good enough, I just said maybe we were rushing into things and I don’t want it to feel like a rebound.” 

You shook your head. “Call it whatever you want, but the bottom line is, you left!”

“So this is how you act? You get drunk every night and now you’re high. You’re never this reckless.”

“Well now I am! You know what? Fuck you, I don’t need this. I want you out. You have until tomorrow night to get the hell out. I don’t like having to answer to anyone in my own god damn home.”

“Y/N,” he stressed, sighing, exasperated.

You gave him a cold look before retreating into your room and closing the door to deal with your sick stomach.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Forever Tag:

@essie1876​​

@magpiegirl80​​

@letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked​​

@marvel-imagines-yes-please​​

@missinstantgratification​​

@thejemersoninferno​​

@rda1989​​

@munlis​​

@thefridgeismybestie​​

@bubblyanarocks3​​

@igiveupicantthinkofausername​​

@kaliforniacoastalteens​​

@feelmyroarrrr​​

@kaeling​​

@friendlyneighbourhoodweirdo​​

@damalseer​​

@heyitscam99​​

@yknott81​​

@sorryimacrapwriter​​

@glitterquadricorn​​

@bittersweetunicorm​​

@alyssaj23​​

@sea040561​​

@princess76179​​

@thisismysecrethappyplace​​

@sarahp879​​

@malfoysqueen14​​

@ellallheart​​

@breezy1415​​

@marvelmayo​​

@lyniboy​​

@paintballkid711​​

@pandacookieowo​​

@beiroviski​​

Hayden Christensen:

@coldlilheart​​

@haydens-moles​​

History Repeats:

@multifandomblog315​​

[texas-hates-taxes-too]

List of things I like in the shisno arc (seasons 15-17, this list could get long)

Edit: it is long

All the grimmons scenes in s15 were *chefs kiss*

There was the temple thing, the focus on simmons while Grif walked off, simmons constantly thinking about grif when he wasn't there, grif repeatedly asking specifically how simmons was when locus and lopez arrived, them immediately yelling each others names when they reunited, and of course the "why are we here?!" Scene

Speaking of said scene, Simmons' knife was obviously also a highlight

Also hyper grif. Was so good

The entire episode Previously On, I rewatch it so much, i love it

Previously On also gave us Carolina/Grif interactions and that deserves its own mention

Locus was also so good in s15 and s17, I loved how he was trying so hard to stay chill but was so obviously losing his mind trying to work with the reds and blues

Caboose hugging Locus was also a highlight

LOOPY WASH. He's just so funny okay, all the scenes with him in s15 and then in s16 when he sees the others in the corridor and stops to talk to them, it always kills me

The conversation between tucker and wash in s15 when they finish it with "smartass" "buzzkill"

Loco. I just really love him. I'm still so sad he died :')

I also hate-love Temple so he gets a mention too, that evil bastard <3

The beach scene where Wash and Lina talk about Illinois and then about York and then hold hands is rlly sweet

I always love wash's line "you don't have to destroy the past to have a future", it reminded me of Carolina's line to Epsilon about how the past doesn't define who you are

I loved the scenes in s15 with simmons and caboose, especially because Simmons actually treated Caboose like a person, he didn't immediately dismiss everything caboose said as stupid, he said it was an "interesting theory" but he wasn't sure it was right

The scene where Caboose talks to church through the portal. It makes me so emotional :') I love caboose so much

Tucker being protective of caboose was also really nice to see

The Spencer porkensonsen story line was ridiculous and I loved it.

I actually really liked Jax in s15, he was so dumb but loveable (unfortunately I really didn't like him in s16 :/)

The griflings hug was so so good

Doctor grey.

Now onto s16 xD

Grif's. Sword. Puns. Best thing ever

Huggins owns my entire heart and her friendship with Grif was so sweet

Sister actually getting proper development and character interactions and not just being a throwaway character

Tucker killing Flowers again lmao

Caboose's Travel presentation was brilliant and I loved his interactions with Lopez

Special shout out to caboose asking the guy at bjorndal for two cups of coffee

The scene where tucker asks for a 200ft dong and Atlus responds with "oOh a man after my own heart"

Sarge wanting to marry Kalirama was a mood

GENKINS

I fucking love genkins okay, he's a bastard and I find everything he says hilarious, I'm sad we didn't get more interactions between him and O'malley

Speaking of, the O'malley vs Donut fight?!?!? Was so good?!?!

I was so proud of Donut

Season 16 had another scene where Grif goes off alone somewhere and it focuses on simmons' face (/helmet)

Also just before this scene, after grif suggests that he goes off alone, simmons says "i don't like this plan", he was worried! And I live for it

Doc's super sad backstory with Deke :( it was sad but I loved hearing more about Doc

Season 17!

Donut finally got to shine and he deserved it so much

The scenes where Donut gets shot by Wash like 7 times kills me dbjds

The Wash and Donut interactions were just amazing

Wash shooting Donut deliberately and then saying "i admire your commitment to time travel"

When they travel to just before he shoots donut and wash says sorry and Donut says "what's a donut without a hole in it" HFJFKD DONUT

Donut tells Carolina to shut up in this season. The bravery.

The whole episode 'the not-so-good ol' days' tbh

When Wash says York and Carolina are close and York is like "Woah thats ridiculous, carolina is our boss, we're not close at all, the audacity, I've never even looked at her face or talked to her in any way not professional"

Wash's "oh right it kinda was" about pfl being like high-school

The entire montage where he's trying to find out where carolina was, its all good

Also wash screaming in his helmet and then saying "I'm great!" when Carolina asked if he was okay

Caboose being a genius

The scene where church is confused and caboose just tells him to go back to bed

Huggins coming back!!

Sister tricking Tucker into telling people the bad things he did lmao

Doc being about to set Tucker straight but then getting annoyed and telling him he should tell everyone else his "unfinished business" too

Doc telling off O'malley and then fighting in the labyrinth, I'm so so proud of him 💜💜

Grif and Sisters interactions in the labyrinth

Almost forgot about this but genkins possessing Santa! And telling Locus that Felix was afraid of knives fndhsjl

Also Genkins possessing Tex and saying that church is basically the clone of a guy who made the robot equivalent of a body pillow kills me

Grif: my balls send their regards, Tex

The scene where Tucker compliments Donut and then calls him an angsty bitch

Okay so I've definitely forgot stuff but this list is already really long so I'll cut it off here, feel free to add things!

[actinglikethat]

We Can Never Be Friends - MGK Imagine

Plot: Despite you and Colson breaking up a year ago, you still have feelings for him and suspect he might still have some for you. But a wrench is thrown in your thoughts when he brings another girl to a hangout.

A/N: Yay, this is the first writing I’m posting here! It’s loosely based on a dream I had and it’s kinda angsty/full of pining but I have a part two in the works 👀 (also idk how to write these describer things so bear with me lmao)

Warnings: One scene describes the plot of a movie Colson’s starring in (in the story) and it briefly mentions kidnapping.

You and Colson had broken up a year ago, after mutually deciding that his tour schedule and the demands of his career put too much of a strain on your relationship. Despite the way your romance ended, it was an amicable breakup and you stayed friends afterwards. Although you didn’t want to admit it, you were still in love with him. Between his looks, his dedication to his art, and his commitment to being a good father to Casie, you couldn’t help but feel like maybe you should’ve pushed harder to keep him. 

There were a lot of moments at hangouts and house parties where you thought he laughed a little too long at your stories, or maintained eye contact for a few seconds more than he should’ve, that made you think maybe he felt the same way. You tried asking the likes of Pete, Rook, and Slim whether he talked about you often, or if they knew how he felt, but their answers weren’t what you wanted to hear. 

As you got ready for a hangout at Rook’s one night, you found yourself putting on Colson’s favorite dress of yours, along with a necklace he got you two birthdays ago. You wore that outfit on countless dinner dates and to the studio a few times, and you gave yourself a melancholy smile in the mirror as you looked back. Casie thought that dress brought out your eyes well. She also thought you might become her stepmother one day. 

Once you got to Rook’s, you made your rounds around the living room to say hi to everyone, coming to Colson last. His gaze immediately went to the necklace, then the dress, then to your face, his face dropping. He muttered a quick “hey,” gave you an awkward hug, and sat back down. It was clear you had gotten into his head, so you figured you’d sit next to him on the couch.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he said as you stepped over. “Jasmine’s sitting there.” 

The smile you had on your face a moment earlier fell, and you looked over your shoulder at the rest of the group, hoping to make eye contact with someone who could tell you who this “Jasmine” was. Pete offered you a sympathetic smile, making room on the other couch next to him. 

“Who the hell is Jasmine?” You quietly asked him as you sat down.

“New girlfriend,” he said. “They met on the set of that new movie he’s filming in Calabasas. She’s a lot like you, you know. I think you’d be good friends if it weren’t for the fact that she’s dating the star-crossed love of your life.”

You elbowed him in the side as a girl you had never met came into the room. Her eyes instantly fell on you, and she smiled as she walked over.

“Hey, you must be Y/N! I’m Jasmine, it’s so nice to finally meet you!”

“Yeah, you too!”

“Everyone’s told me so much about you, Colson and Rook always say you’re one of the sweetest, funniest people they’ve met.”

“Do they?” You felt your heart fall to your stomach.

“All the time! I have a feeling we’ll get along well.”

“Same,” you fibbed. She smiled and took her seat next to Colson, joining in whatever conversation he was having with Slim and Noah. 

You leaned back on the couch, almost regretting showing up. 

“I didn’t wanna tell you he still talks about you,” Pete said. “I figured it’d kinda sting now that he’s taken.” 

“She took him alright,” you muttered, earning a laugh. “I just, I don’t know. I thought maybe there was a chance he’d wanna take me back.” 

“It’s possible, I think. I mean, it’s Colson, how long do we think this will really last?”

“We were together for a year and seven months. Who knows?” 

He sighed, unsure of how to comfort you. 

As the night went on, you made conversation with most people in the room, aside from Colson and Jasmine. You wanted to talk to them, partly so Jasmine didn’t think you were a bitch and partly because talking to Colson was one of your favorite things to do. After some convincing, you got Pete to go over with you, scared that going alone would become an awkward third-wheel situation. 

Pete was right, you and Jasmine had a lot in common. It was easy for you two to find things to discuss, and she seemed like a really genuine, fun person. Pete occasionally chimed in to tell you other things you had in common, but Colson was practically silent the whole time. 

A little while after you started talking, Jasmine excused herself to the kitchen to go get another drink. You turned to Pete, unsure what to do without Jasmine there, and he started asking Colson more about his new movie. 

“It’s a romcom, which I haven’t really done before,” he said. “A guy’s with this girl and they break up over some stupid shit, and the whole movie they’re trying to win each other back without knowing it.”

Your gaze had been alternating between the floor and the rest of the room, but you noticed that Colson was looking directly at you while he described the film. You looked up at him almost mournfully, wondering if there was any real-life connection to the plot. Noah pulled Pete aside to show him something, leaving you and Colson standing alone.

“That sounds like a nice movie,” you commented, hoping to make the situation less awkward. “I know what that’s like.”

“Me too,” he sighed. He bit his lip, looking pensive, like he was trying to find the right words for whatever he wanted to say next. He didn’t get to say it though, since Jasmine returned before he could open his mouth. 

“I was just telling Y/N about the movie,” Colson explained.

“Oh, it’s such a fun one. The whole premise is so disturbing. I mean, what kind of a sicko would hold his daughter-in-law for ransom in a shed?”

You furrowed your brow, contemplating whether Colson was actually describing the movie earlier. “Uh, yeah, that’s so twisted.”

Pete rejoined the group and started rambling about whatever Noah showed him, but you couldn’t pay enough attention to follow what he was saying. Whenever he said something funny, you glanced over at Colson to see if he was laughing. It was exactly what you’d do at these hangouts when you were dating. When he noticed you looking up at him, he’d smile and put his arm around you, if he was next to you. 

“Are you okay, Y/N?” Jasmine asked, noticing your expression drop. Upon hearing this, Colson looked up at you, and Pete turned to look at you too, but he already knew the answer.

“Hmm? Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Just a little tired.”

“I could drive you home in a little bit if you want, I have work in the morning so I’m not staying too late,” she offered. 

“Thanks, I’d really appreciate that.” As much as you wanted to stay, it was torture to see how happy Colson and Jasmine were together. It didn’t help that the guys and Noah already loved her so much. It frustrated you that no one warned you that she’d be there, but at the same time, they knew how much Colson meant to you and didn’t want to upset you.

After some more awkward small talk, Slim and Baze came over to ask Colson some questions about a song they were working on. Jasmine excitedly chimed in, offering some production ideas. Pete could tell you were uncomfortable, so he put his hand on your back, nudging you towards the kitchen.  

Once it was just the two of you, Pete grabbed you a water bottle from the fridge, then sat down in a barstool next to the counter. 

“Come into my office, kid,” he said, pulling out another stool for you.

“I don’t know what to do,” you sighed, sitting down next to him.

“It’s a tricky situation to be in. But after tonight, I really think he’s still into you.”

“Why would he bring Jasmine here then? Especially knowing I was coming.”

“I dunno. I don’t think he knows, either. But the way he looked at you when you first got here? Then he looked crushed when you couldn’t sit next to him.”

“I dunno, Pete. It’s Colson we’re talking about, he’s not exactly a saint.”

“You’re not wrong, but I think there’s something there.”

Before you could think of something to say, Jasmine came in to tell you she was gonna go warm up the car. You nodded and started saying goodbye to everyone. You couldn’t find Colson, so you wandered around the house to see where he was.

You finally bumped into him in the hallway, after he came out of the bathroom.

“Uh, hey,” he said. “You heading out?”

“Yeah, Jasmine’s warming up the car.”

“Alright. Well, it was nice to see you again.”

He pulled you into a hug much warmer than the one he gave you earlier, and you closed your eyes against his chest, not wanting to have to say goodbye again. His arms lingered a bit longer than they should have, and as you pulled away, he kissed your forehead before sighing.

“Get home safe,” he muttered, returning to the living room and leaving you in the hall.

[my-happy-little-bean]

Rooftop Reassurance

words: 1851 pairing: logince warnings: talks about committing suicide (though no one dies), alcohol consumption, depression, swearing, breakups summary: logan finds a stranger one night sitting on balcony rails in tears, a thousand feet above the city below; then find roman six months later, standing on a table singing with a bright grin. both occurrences confuse him, but he decides to chat with him for both. based on the prompt: you saw him on the rooftop twice; once at a party, and the other when he was sitting on the ledge.

a/n - pt. 3 of ‘let’s indulge bean in their slightly low quality, very personal fics’ ~ (a real series now on ao3 oops–)

this time, this was all inspired by one of my deep dives on tik tok at 3 am. yes, i’m actually writing based off a tik tok. this is where i’m at now (there’s funny people there alright–)

anyway here’s hoping that this all makes sense and is good enough to justify me posting it, heh :’)

enjoy!

read on ao3~

---

“Holy shit.”

Virgil lowered his drink. “What?”

Logan didn’t give Virgil a response, instead moving past him in the direction his eyes were set on. He didn’t even look back when Virgil made an attempt to further question him. 

He knocked into a few drunk shoulders in his haste, making his way to the rooftop entrance. 

Logan had been to Patton’s apartment a few times and for some strange reason, there was always a party happening. Maybe that was because, for an even stranger reason, Patton always had something to celebrate. 

The day he found him was after Patton’s almost-birthday party. 

Streamers weaved themselves through the balcony railing, the sign reading “Happy Birthday (for real this time)!” now lopsided and close to the floor. Logan’s eyes scanned the entire scene until he saw

A man, sitting on the rails of the balcony, with his legs dangling over the edge and in the air.

Roman, standing on a table, holding his drink high in the air with a big grin. 

Logan slowly approached him, afraid that if he made any sudden movements, the ghost of him would disappear in an instant.

However, when he got close enough to the man,  he realized this was no ghost. 

In fact, Roman was already responding to him, hopping off the table and waving a few friends off before going in his direction. 

Logan felt a chill run down his spine. 

“Hey!” Roman said brightly, holding his arms up for what appeared to be a hug. Logan, still stiff from surprise, simply let it happen. “What’s up?”

“What’s up?” Logan echoed incredulously. “You’re standing on a table.”

“Are you alright?”

Roman blinked. “I’m fine!”

“ Totally fine.” 

Logan felt a smile drift onto his face, one of a foreign kind of relief he wasn’t expecting. 

“It’s...well, it is really good to see you,” Logan said, pushing up his glasses. He could smell the beer off of Roman’s pearly grin. Oh well. 

“You look...good,” Logan hesitantly added. 

The man laughed so hard, but didn’t turn around. He doubled over in his hysterics, and Logan’s breath hitched.

“Why thank you, Microsoft nerd!” Roman chirped, still laughing as he reached over to grab Logan’s hand. The contact made Logan’s head spin. 

“So are you going to dance with me?” 

“Because no one danced with me tonight.”

Logan blinked.

“Dance?” 

“This is a party, bro-chacho!” Roman let go of his hand to swing his arm around Logan’s still-tense shoulder. “We gotta dance! Besides, it’s the least I can do for

the man who’s gonna save my life,” the man laughed again. “Is that who you’re gonna be?” 

Logan paused. “It is unreasonable of me to assume I could save your life, but I can get you standing next to me, which would be a good start.” 

He outstretched his hand to the man who wasn’t even looking at him. 

“Please, 

Roman, you don’t have to repay me for anything,” Logan said slowly. “I haven’t talked to you in so long;I am just glad to see you.”

The man turned his head slightly. Against the forgotten fairy lights’ hues, Logan could see streaks of black mascara trailing down his cheeks. Then, he turned his head back, facing away from him once more. 

“I’m glad to see you too,” Roman said; more softer, more vulnerable this time. “Sorry, I’m not like, keeping you from anything am I? I kinda just saw you and went for it, heh. I can let you go back to whatever you’re doing...?” 

“No no,” Logan hummed. 

“I’m going to sit with you.” 

Roman nodded readily with that glowing smile again, taking Logan’s hand once more and leading them to a quiet corner of the balcony, next to the rails

Logan did his best to climb over, shakily settling himself a thousand feet above the ground. 

“You should get off,” the man said darkly. 

“You should as well.” 

“How have you been doing?” Logan asked as he and Roman sat on a couch next to each other. Roman smiled, almost sheepishly. 

“Better, actually,” he admitted. “I’ve been seeing someone.”

Logan felt the words "already?" sit on his tongue, but he decided to actively practice this 'empathy' Patton had mentioned to him once.

“Ah really?”

“Yeah.” Roman’s smile only grew. “His name is Dr. Picani. He's really good at his job.”

“I got dumped,” the man groaned, seemingly giving up on getting Logan to leave him alone. His grasp on the rails tightened, which Logan was secretly thankful for. “I know it’s a stupid reason for being this upset and an even stupider reason to be sitting on a balcony because it was never really a good relationship to begin with, but fuck I loved him and he was the only familiar thing in my life keeping me…” 

He lifted one hand to wave it around, wobbling ever so slightly. He seemed to be struggling to find words because he finished by saying, “You know?”

“Please be careful–”

“I just don’t fucking get it,” the man cut him off. He motioned over to the city below them, barely buzzing as the late night simmered into early morning. “Isn’t this the part in life where everything clicks? When you’re 28 with someone you love and a job you don’t hate? Isn’t this the part where you stare out at the world you live in and smile because you got past the bad shit and now you’re here?”

Logan sighed. 

“I...I don’t think that part ever comes.” 

“This is the worst rooftop reassurance ever.”

“Oh." Logan chuckled. "Well, he sounds like a very positive presence in your life.”

“You know, you can just say you’re happy for me,” Roman teased, nudging him slightly, “you know, like a normal person?” 

Logan blushed. “I am happy for you.” 

“When’s the part where I’m happy, then?” the man continued. New tears seemed to run across dried ones. “If that part never comes, is there at least a part where I’m just...okay?”

“Of course there is.” Against his better caution, he lifted his own hand and rested it against the stranger’s knee. “There are plenty of moments; better moments. There is no singular part in which your life changes for the better and stays that way forever, but there is a continuous stream of...of better moments.” 

“I never got to formally thank you for that night,” Roman said once some silence had passed. He giggled again, all light and airy. “Well, never got to thank you properly. I was too drunk when I said thank you that night, so that doesn’t count.” 

“You are also drunk now.”

“...that’s besides the point.” Roman cleared his throat. “So to make up for it, I– Roman Prince– would like to say

“I’m sorry,” the man said. He laughed again, all dark and heavy. “I know it’s probably not a great look, to be drunk and sitting on the edge of a balcony that’s waaaay too high above the ground–"

“Glad we are finally addressing that.”

“–but I appreciate the fact that you stayed. Really, I do.”

Logan nodded. “Of course, Roman.” 

A beat of silence. 

“I...I wasn’t going to jump.” Roman cleared his throat. “Obviously.”

Logan gulped, suddenly afraid. “Obviously.” 

“I just needed to clear my head.”

“Understandable.”

“But– and now this is going to sound concerning but it’s not–”

“Not a great way to preface this–”

“But imagine if I did fall?” The man tilted his head upwards at the moving clouds above them. “All those feelings, rushing through you one by one as gravity pulls you down, down, down…”

Logan, for a moment, let himself stare at the stranger as he talked. After all, he didn’t have the words to respond to his ramble, so he decided to listen. 

Roman must have decided to move on from their seemingly sentimental conversation because he spontaneously launched into a subject Logan knew nothing about. Still, Logan did his best to listen. 

Roman’s eyes seem to light up like lightning  without the thunder that kept the storm alive. 

He waved his hands so animatedly, which Logan never understood; no human had to express themselves with that much physicality, yet when he was still, he didn’t seem to be human at all. 

And he was beautiful, Logan couldn’t help but think.

Why didn’t he see that?

“Hey!” Logan jumped as Roman snapped his fingers in front of his face. “You okay?”

“You’ve been quiet for a while,” the man said, snapping Logan out of his trance. “Did I go too far?”

“No, no you didn’t.” Logan shakily pushed up his glasses. “It’s just…”

He sighed. 

“The way you talk alone is something worth staying alive for.” Logan took a deep breath and lifted his gaze to meet him. “I know this isn’t the happiest story but… but you need to tell everyone your stories, no matter what kind. Everyone needs to hear you, at least once.”

“I’m okay,” Logan said, pushing up his glasses and straightening up. “Sorry, I was just...thinking.”

“Thinking?” “About–

the way this stranger smiled

–that night.”

Roman stiffened at the words, and Logan hastily went to pick them back up, adding, “Um, we do not need to talk about it anymore if you so desire–”

“Nah, it’s okay!” Roman, to his surprise, blushed. He rubbed the back of his neck. “I just don’t want your impression of me to forever be tainted by that night.”

Logan shook his head softly. “You are much more to me than a moment of sadness.”

“It’s not all sad, though,” the man said through sniffles. “I mean...I just attended a really great party.”

“Even if the party was for a made up occasion?”

“All occasions are made up.”

“...touché.”

“Plus, I kinda made a friend.” His voice seemed much quieter than the louder, more thunderous one that painfully struck with every word it spoke. “And that makes me feel a lot better.”

“It does?” Logan frowned. “But I didn’t solve anything. I just...said things.”

“Yeah.” The lightning in his eye seemed to fade into a small twinkle. “Sometimes that’s all someone needs.” A pause. “Does...does that sound stupid? I probably sound stupid.”

“Hey,” Roman suddenly said, “I know this is rather forward of me–”

“I feel as though nothing is quite too forward for you–”

“–but could I maybe grab some drinks with you sometime?” Roman blushed. “It can be coffee, heh. Don’t want to always be drunk and stupid around you.”

“You’re not stupid.” 

“That would perhaps be a wise choice,” Logan said with a small laugh. Roman grinned at the sound. 

“I just want to get to know you,” Roman said, leaning in closely; close enough that Logan was blinking so hard trying to focus on him properly. “And...and I want to have a better moment with you.”

Logan smiled. 

“I’m glad I could be here for you…”

“Roman,” the man– Roman– said. “I’ll shake your hand when we’re down from up here and you can tell me yours, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Logan finally said. “I’d like that.”

---

reblogs/likes/whatever would be lovely ~

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Rose Coloured Glasses - Part 9

A/N: Bit of a shorter chapter to move us along!

Thank you to everyone who is liking/sharing this fic it means so much! ILY 💕

"Frank.... what are you doing here?"

"I really needed to see you, to explain about earlier"

"Nows not a great time"

"Please? I feel awful"

"Cant this wait until tomorrow? Im about to have dinner...." a phone ringing from the living room made me look over my shoulder and Frank was trying to look around me.

"You already have company?" He asked looking surprised that i wasn't alone.

"I..."

Just as i was about to answer Andy came walking out now wearing his suit jacket and coat and Frank scoffed shaking his head as if everything in the world made sense now.

"Hey, i gotta go pick up Jacob" he said to me before looking at Frank and the two exchanging their usual greeting "thanks for locking up tonight i owe you" he patted some keys in his pocket "see you in the morning?"

"Of course"

"Okay, goodnight"

"Goodnight" he smiled at me as moved around Frank and headed to his car, i couldn't help but notice how much he turned back to look at me.

"Guess i know why you wouldn't invite me in..."

"What?"

"You sleeping with him?"

"No! God Frank we're not all like you jumping bed to bed! He came to pick up the office keys" i lied about why Andy was really there.

"Sorry, guess i got a little jealous"

I couldn't help but laugh at Franks words, he was the one sleeping with other people and his saying he got jealous??

"Its not funny....."

"It kinda is considering your the one who decided to slut it around town"

"I..... please can we talk inside?"

A pizza delivery vehicle parked up and young boy came rushing over to hand over my pizza.

"Thank you" i smiled passing him the money and taking the pizza, the boy smiled and was soon back in his car driving away.

"You hungry?" I offered still unsure if this was a good idea but i was starving and Frank didn't show any sign of leaving.

"Sure, i could eat" he nodded following me inside.

Frank made himself at home quickly and i had to admit it was nice to have him around again....I had missed him. But i had to remember he would never be the guy to commit to just one person and i didn't want to think about him with other women when he wasn't with me.

"So i guess we should talk about the other morning?"

"Not really, it was pretty obvious what was going on Frank. Im not stupid" i scoffed.

"I didnt mean for it to happen.... i was more than happy with what we had going on" he motioned between the two of us "we were great together, we had fun right?"

"Im not saying we didn't have fun, i was enjoying what we had" i told him honestly "really enjoying it! But seeing you with that woman....."

"Look i only hooked up with her because i was pissed you couldn't make it.... i had far too much to drink and one thing lead to another...."

"Wow..... you were pissed at me?? I told you why i couldn't make it. Its not like i just couldn't be bothered! You try dealing with hundreds of questions about a dead kid all day and then feel up to partying! i was exhausted! I told you id reschedule its not like id never go meet your friends"

"Im sorry okay, can't we just put this behind us and carry on...?"

"I cant Frank i'm sorry. Seeing you with that woman made me realise i'm not okay with the casual dating thing. The thought that when your not with me your probably fucking some other woman..... i can't do it"

"But you knew what this was..."

"And i thought i could deal with that" i shrugged "i need someone i trust not to hurt me. I need that commitment..."

"And you think your gonna get that from Andy Barber?"

"What?? This isn't about him! Why do you keep bringing Andy up?"

"Incase your forgetting sweetheart, Andy is married. He cant give you what you need either"

"I think you should go, this conversation isn't going anywhere. You cant give me what i need.... your scared to commit to one person and thats what i need. Im sorry Frank, i loved our time together i really did".

"I can try....."

"Its not what you want" i shook my head "you'd get bored with me in no time and then you'd go find someone else"

"You don't know that" he looked at me with sad eyes but shook his head because he knew i was right.

"We can still be friends but thats all i can give you right now. Maybe in the future if you ever decide to settle down things might be different"

"Well i know where to come if that ever happens" he chuckled "but yeah id like us to be friends still..." he reached out and pulled me into his arms holding me tight, he buried his face in my neck and pressed a kiss under my ear.

"I should go" he finally said standing up grabbing his jacket from the chair "thanks for the pizza".

"We should do it again, we can watch a movie and hang out"

"Sounds great sweetheart" he pressed a quick kiss to my forehead and then he left without a word.

After throwing out the empty pizza box i settled on the sofa with a fresh beer. A new episode of The Walking Dead was about to start when my phone lit up with a message. I looked and saw Andy's name, my heart started racing and i suddenly felt very nervous!

Andy: Hey, everything okay there with Frank?

I couldn't help but laugh a little and shake my head.

Y/N: You checking up on me? Lol

Andy: No? Lol

Andy: Kinda..... i know you two were close

Y/N:  Nothings going on i promise, he stayed for some pizza while we talked things through and then he left.

Andy: Good. I hated leaving you like  that.

Andy: are you okay about what happened with us?

Y/N: didn't i seem okay about it then? Lol i thought it was pretty obvious that i was into it.

Andy: just checking lol i'm a bit rusty at all this.....

Y/N: its all good i promise :)

Y/N: What are you up to anyway?

Andy: looking over Patz's file trying to find something.... anything that might help. Im not getting anything but a headache.

Y/N: You should go get some sleep, have a look at it again tomorrow with fresh eyes.  I could meet you at the office and go over it with you?

Andy: yeah? You wouldn't mind?

Y/N: Not at all

Andy: Okay, i think i'll take your advise and pack up for the night. I'll see you in the morning?

Y/N: Yeah, i'll bring the good coffee ;) Goodnight Andy xx

Andy: Your the best! Goodnight Y/N xx

Little did i know the shit storm that was about to hit tomorrow, this was  definitely the calm before the storm!

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit

Rose Coloured Glasses taglist: @readermia @princess-evans-addict @jennmurawski13 @matsumama @ex-bloodjunkie @kaithezaftig @rynabarnesrogers @rainbowkisses31

[calumsvapor]

midnight | l.h

word count: 2951

warnings: swearing

pairing(s): highschool!luke hemmings/reader

notes: none

maybe it was the way his dark blonde curls fell in his face and his eyes crinkled at the corners when he laughed, white teeth revealed by his grin.

“what’re you looking at, hemmings, is something funny?” you said with a glint of annoyance in your eyes.

“nothing, l/n, just wondering if there was any point in time when you didn’t have a stick up your arse. something got your panties in a twist?”

“i was fine until you got here.”

maybe it was the way he held you the night after the party when he found you on the front porch, mascara streaking your face and tears filling your eyes.

“do you need a ride home, l/n?”

“just forget you even saw me and go back inside.”

“yeah right, just get in the fucking car. i’m taking you home.”

“okay, fine.”

“hey, whatever happened, i’m sorry. you don’t… nevermind.”

“just take me home, hemmings.”

“yeah, just don’t think this changes anything”

or maybe it was the way that no matter what happened the night before, he’d always show up to class with the same air of arrogance and give you the same glare and roll his eyes.

it didn’t matter why, but your mind always drifted back to him. at this point, your feelings of hatred and affection for the boy had become too muddled to even try to decipher.

besides, you understood. he had to keep his place at the top of the high school social hierarchy, just like you had to keep your reputation as the nice girl. the safe girl that got good grades and didn’t date around.

the type of girl that didn’t spend any time with luke hemmings, even if you two were the last people on earth.

“young lady, may i speak to you after school?” your teacher asked almost solemnly.

“of course, mr. turner” you replied with a slight smile.

after the final bell rang, you walked up to the desk at the front of the classroom.

“what do you need, mr. turner?”

“if it’s not too much trouble, i’d like you to tutor mr. hemmings in, well every subject, but let’s start with this class. i’m afraid his grades are… less than adequate, and yours are some of the best in the school. if he doesn’t get good grades on his finals next friday, he may have to take a few summer courses, and i don’t think any teacher wants that.”

all you heard was an opportunity to help out luke hemmings in exchange for the freedom of the daily insults and teasing he threw your way. yes, please.

“no problem, mr. turner.”

as you walked out of the classroom, you spotted exactly who you were looking for. you quickened your pace until you were walking beside the tall, lanky boy.

“hemmings. i’m gonna help you study, just out of the goodness of my heart. no need to thank me.”

“so you’re my babysitter now, huh?” luke drawled, a smirk spreading across his features.

“whatever. what time do you wanna meet to start studying for finals?”

“i don’t care, just come over whenever,” luke said, picking up his bags and beginning his journey out of the doors.

“but i don’t know where you-“

“figure it out, l/n. i’m sure there’s something in that head of yours if you look hard enough.”

“oh, piss off.”

after you’d made many phone calls and your expectations were lowered, you headed to luke’s house. hopefully, this whole experience would make him stop looking at you as if he couldn’t bear to spend another five minutes with you. when you rang the bell, luke opened the door, dressed in gray sweatpants and a black hoodie.

“come inside, l/n, i don’t bite, unless you want me to.”

rolling your eyes, you stepped inside and made your way up the stairs behind luke. once you reached his room, you quickly sat down at the desk and pulled out all the books you'd need to prepare him for the test. luke flopped down onto the bed behind you.

"what do you think you're doing? i'm not the one that needs to study here."

"fine, what do you want me to do?"

"just finish the homework for today, and i'll check it. then, we can go over whatever you get wrong."

"fine."

for the next few minutes, it was silent, besides the occasional sound of pencil scratching against paper.

then, the boy stood up and walked over to where you were sitting, handing you the paper and continuing to look intently at you.

it only took a glance at his paper for your eyes to widen.

"how bad is it, really?" luke asked, almost timid.

"it could be better. fuck, why can't you just pay attention in class?"

"hey. i never asked you to help me. i'm not one of your charity cases," luke said, a fiery look in his eyes.

“i never said that,” you replied, the same look adorning your features. “is it that hard for you to believe that i’m doing this because i actually care about you?”

“well that kinda sucks for you. did you really think i was talking to you for any other reason besides getting my grades up so i can stay on the football team? you’re really stupider than you let other people see, aren’t you?”

“maybe i should just get going, now. bye, luke. good luck on the test friday.”

with that, you packed your things and made your way out the door, heart racing and mind swirling with confusion.

after spending the entire night tossing and turning, unable to shake the blonde boy from your mind, you made your way to school. his expression still echoed, almost as if someone were holding up a picture of the moment he watched you walk out. your various classes passed, slow as they felt, and eventually you reached your second to last period of the day. the class where you’d have to see luke.

“yeah, she was all over me. i mean it wouldn’t be the first girl, but i have to admit, i didn’t expect l/n of all people.”

the voice was muffled by the wooden door, but it was obviously luke’s. how had you expected anything to change? how had you expected him to actually be grateful for what you’d tried to do for him?

you took a deep breath, cleared your mind, and stepped into the classroom, eyes trained on the boy who’d just spoken and mouth fixed in a scowl.

“you know that’s not true, hemmings.”

“aww, look, she’s embarrassed she can’t resist my obvious charm.”

with a sigh, you made your way over to your desk and tried to tune out the mutters and chuckled and fingers pointed at you. the second the bell rang, you strutted up to the front desk and stopped directly in front of mr. turner.

“i can’t do this anymore. you heard him.”

“i’m sorry, ms. l/n, but you made a commitment when you agreed to tutor that young man. i suggest you figure it out.”

"ok, thanks mr. turner.”

you left the classroom and briskly walked to the parking lot, where luke leaned against his car, staring down at his phone. with a sense of newfound confidence and determination, you stopped directly in front of him and started to speak.

“let me tell you what we’re gonna do. i’m gonna get in your car, and you’re gonna drive us to your house. then, you’re gonna do the homework and read the textbook and actually listen to me for once in your fucking life. sound good?”

“i uh, sure, whatever.”

with a quick smile, you hopped in the passenger's seat and fastened your seatbelt. maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.

a few days later, you found yourself laying next to luke, laughing so hard you could barely take a breath. you never wanted the moment to end. luke had been improving steadily, and with finals the next day, you were nothing less than confident that he’d get a good grade.

“can we take a break? i’ve been staring at these fucking books for so long, i think my vision’s getting blurry,” luke said, the same grin spreading across his features.

“c’mon, only today and tomorrow left, and then you can take all the breaks you want.”

“fine, but we should do something to celebrate my spectacular, jaw-dropping, life-changing improvement. cal’s throwing a party at his place tomorrow night, and his parents aren’t home. go with me?”

“get a b and i’ll think about it.”

another day passed, and you found yourself at the door to mr. turner’s classroom, next to luke, staring at the piece of paper hanging on the door. a few names down the list, the name and grade were clearly printed. “luke hemmings.” “127/127.”

“you know what this means, l/n. see you tonight.”

the grin from yesterday was even more prominent across luke’s face, and it was a nice change from the glares he’d given you mere weeks before. with a bounce in his step, he walked out of the school building and towards the parking lot.

after pausing for a moment and smiling to yourself, you began your own journey to your parked car, ready to go home and get ready for the party.

“i have to say, ms. l/n, i’m impressed,” mr. turner said, making his way towards you and his car, which was parked right next to yours. 

“thanks, mr. turner. it really wasn’t that hard.”

“well, nevertheless, you can expect some extra credit for your trouble. thanks again.”

mr. turner got into his car and drove away, leaving you alone. or so you thought.

“so that’s what this was, then. i’m just a fucking extra credit assignment to you, aren’t i. you know, i thought this past week actually meant something to you. i guess i was wrong. forget about the party. just forget this shit ever happened.”

“luke, just wait. you were never just-”

but luke was already in his car, pulling out of the parking spot and speeding away, leaving nothing but smoke behind.

“you were never just a charity case to me.”

.....

the satin material lay across your chest and back and hung off your curves. the fabric followed your motions as you spun around in the mirror and admired how you looked. your hair was curled and fussed with until not a single strand was out of place. your makeup was done and you looked flawless.

with your outgoing appearance and fancy clothing, there was only one reason you were going to the party at calum’s house. and that reason seemingly loathed you at the moment, although the feeling was mutual.

by the time you pulled into a parking spot you found along the road near the house, the sun had set and laughter and music could be heard inside from miles away.

you walked in and began talking with the people in the living room. the party was fun, but you still hadn’t run into the person you’d wanted to see. after a bit, you stepped into the kitchen and opened the fridge.

a strong figure grabbed you and pinned you up against the counter.

“yeah, no,” luke said softly, his breath warm against your ear.

he then began to take off his sweatpants.

“what the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

“relax, i can borrow some more from cal. we may not be on speaking terms right now but, there’s no way in hell i’m letting you walk out there,” he said, gesturing to the world beyond the door, “wearing that.”

“lighten up, hemmings, it’s just a dress. you don’t own me.”

“but this isn’t you. i don’t- nevermind. have fun with your dress.”

“no, luke, you’re not my brother and you’re definitely not my boyfriend. we’re not even friends, so i don’t understand what your problem is.”

but your words went unheard as he threw the sweatpants at you and slipped out the door.

there’s no way i’m putting those on.

…..

you walked out of the kitchen through the living room, having gained not a glass of water, but rather the sweats currently on your legs. as you headed for the door, you had nothing in mind besides getting home and going to sleep.

you didn’t have to worry about seeing luke, anyways. he had probably found someone to fuck during the short time you’d been contemplating in the kitchen.

“y/n, come have a drink with us,” michael shouted from the other end of the room. with a smile, you walked over and sat in the seat he happily gestured to.

“so i heard turner has you babysitting hemmo, huh? how was that?”

“honestly, there were some up and downs,” you said with a sheepish smile.

“downs? luke got a perfect score in english, didn’t he?”

“yeah, if only he wasn’t such an entitled jerk half of the time.”

“he can be a bit annoying, but he means well, trust me.”

“i guess you’re right, but that doesn’t give him an excuse to be an asshole. i just wish we could’ve actually become friends or something. i don’t know, it might’ve happened if he could get his head out of his ass for one minute. anyways, i should be getting home now. one o’clock curfew.”

the night was coming to an end.

the cool, evening air blew into your face as you swung the door open and stepped onto the front porch. once you reached your car, someone grabbed your hand from behind and pulled you around to face them.

luke.

“yeah, okay. i’m annoying. i’m entitled, i’m a jerk. an asshole. did i miss anything, l/n?” he asked, his breath fanning against your face.

you wanted to answer him, but your voice caught in your throat. you fixed your gaze right below his eyes, not wanting to make eye contact and have to look straight at him: that would only make you feel worse.

luke took that as his answer.

you sighed and opened your mouth to finally speak, but you were cut off as he pinned you up against the car and mashed his lips onto yours.

part of you wanted to push him away. and yet, another part wanted him closer; wanted your fingers tangled in his hair and his hands running up and down your body as he held you in his arms.

and that’s exactly what you did.

with a muffled groan, you brought your hands up to meet his soft, blonde curls and you raked your nails through them, tugging until you drew similar moans of pleasure from his sweet lips. he dragged his fingers through your hair, undoing whatever work you’d put into it before. his nails scraped down your back before coming to rest around your waist, right above your tailbone.

you wanted to hate this, god, you should’ve hated this. but you felt nothing near the disgust or loathing you’d held for the boy for the majority of the time you’d known him. all you knew and all you felt was perfection. his hands were warm and you were content, enveloped in the tight grasp he had on you.

kissing luke was like a storm. the rhythm of your hearts sounded like thunder, and the feeling that filled you was like lightning: electric. the way your lips molded together and your bodies fit like puzzle pieces until there was no space between the two of you was magical.

you clutched luke’s collar and held him as close to yourself as you possibly could. he moved his hands up to grab your face and placed both hands on your cheeks. eventually, the two of you separated, but your hands remained in the same places.

“sorry, i really shouldn’t have done that,” you said, finally releasing his collar and taking a step backward, only to run into your car.

“wait, y/n,” he whispered, his voice on the verge of breaking.

"what am i supposed to do now?”

“what do you mean?”

“where does this leave us?”

“i don’t know, luke. how about we just forget about this, okay? i get it, i hate you, you hate me, we don’t like each other. it’s simpler if it just stays that way so i don’t-” you paused.

“so you don’t what?”

“nevermind.”

“you can’t expect me to go to school like nothing happened. like this didn’t happen,” he said almost angrily, gesturing between the two of you. “you can’t expect me to go back to taunting you and glaring at you to pretend i’m not falling for you. i’m sorry if the time we spent together meant nothing to you, but it meant everything to me. fuck, y/n, i’ve loved you ever since you walked into class and i made fun of your fucking hair and your stupid dress in third grade. don’t you see that?”

“fuck, luke. you did a great job hiding it.”

he paused, and his voice grew quieter, almost meek. 

“i don’t want to hide it anymore, y/n.”

“okay, then let’s start over.”

“what?”

with a shaky grin, you stuck out your hand.

“hi, my name is y/n. do you want to go out sometime?”

the boy enveloped you in a tight hug and rested his chin on your shoulder. the alcohol from the party was still strong on his breath, but in that moment, he had never seemed more sober. he seemed almost afraid to let go, as if you’d slip away from him the second he loosened his grip.

so he held you tight, and chuckled softly.

“i’d love that.”

[razberryyum]

The Untamed/陈情令 Rewatch, Episode 2 (spoilers for everything)

(covers MDZS chaps 6 - 10 and a bit of 13)

WangXian meter: ����🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰

(a 🐰 is earned every time there is a WangXian scene or even when they’re just thinking of each other)

I always tell people when I’m trying to get them to watch The Untamed that when they get to this particular scene in the second episode, they’ll know if they will be into the show. To me, this is the game-changer moment: you’re either in or out after this. If this scene doesn’t emotionally move you enough to at least continue on with the drama, nothing else will.  It is seriously one of the most romantic scenes I have ever seen captured on screen. This was the moment that made me realize not only was I now fully committed to CQL, but that I had also found a new obsession and was ready to devote myself to Mo Dao Zu Shi.  After all, something that can lead to the creation of such a beautiful scene MUST hold other invaluable treasures. So into the MDZS rabbit hole I went, happily diving head first.  

Even now I’m still amazed that this scene exists in the intact form that it does. I started The Untamed with little to no expectations, especially knowing the restrictions it was under AND having just finished Guardian and experiencing how poor creative decisions can arise due to censorship (or at least, using that as an excuse for their dumb story choices). As I mentioned previously, the first episode was a hard sell since they definitely did not put their best foot forward first, but I liked Xiao Zhan immediately and Wei Wuxian as a character was interesting enough that I wanted to learn more about his past that led to his death and rebirth. The small glimpses we saw of his relationship with Lan Zhan also fascinated me, but then with this second episode, the weak points of the pilot still remained: there was still bad CGI (the statue) and very amateurish technical mistakes (in the recognition scene, at one point, in a close-up shot they’re holding onto each other, but in the next far away backside shot they’re clearly standing apart from each other, only to return to holding each other once again once the camera cuts back to a close-up...whoever the editor is on CQL probably should dunk their head in the toilet every time these editing errors pop up) that made my initial viewing of this episode a frustrating one for most of its runtime. I think I spent most of my initial viewing just distracted, playing on my phone or something, until the big WangXian moment happened and then I was shocked and awed.  I know I wasn’t paying close attention that first time because when I rewatched the episode later on, I realized I missed a lot of dialogue and details. I have since revisited this second episode numerous times more, and I do feel bad about how dismissive I was initially. It’s a pretty loaded episode: it has funny, poignant, creepy, mysterious, and cool moments while still feeding us bits of the overarching plot. I definitely have developed an affection for it since my first viewing and it’s become one of my favorite episodes in the series.

Of Pining & other Heart-achy Things

This simple line from Jiang Cheng is enough to make my eyes well up with tears: I can’t help but imagine Lan Zhan traveling around the world for sixteen years, most likely all alone, stopping at different places to play Inquiry, fervently hoping that maybe one day he’ll finally receive an answering chord from Wei Ying, only to be confronted by a deafening silence again and again and again. How utterly sad and disappointed he must have been every time, and yet still, he never gave up and just went to the next location to do the same thing and experience the same heavy disappointment all over again. If that doesn’t make your heart ache, I’m sorry to tell you, your heart is no longer functional.

It’s a detail I don’t remember if the novel covered, but I’m assuming that Lan Zhan was the one to bring Wei Ying’s inventions like the spirit attraction flag and the compass back to Gusu and incorporate them for use in his sect’s normal cultivation practices.  I know other people have use his tools as well since that nameless cultivator at the start of the episode was also using the spirit compass, but I feel that with Lan Wangji, he probably purposefully acquired and adapted WWX’s techniques so that every time they’re used, they can serve as a reminder of Wei Ying for him. Though it does make me wonder how Lan Zhan managed to get those approved by his uncle; I can’t imagine Lan Qiren being ok with using anything that was created by the man whom he blames for the corruption of his beloved nephew and model student. Did LWJ just pretend he created them instead? That doesn’t even sound right. Maybe Uncle Lan decided to be merciful and just let Lan Zhan win this one since he was probably obviously miserable after Wei Ying’s death.   Yeah, I can buy that scenario, especially since the flag and compass are pretty useful tools.  

I wondered did LWJ already suspect “Mo Xuanyu” was Wei Ying before he started playing Wuji on his flute. It’s curious that he happened to be in that part of the forest at that time. I’m guessing his Wei Ying senses were tingled when he heard about Mo Xuanyu’s skills from Sizhui and the boys so that’s why he was hanging around the vicinity just in case MXY reveals his true identity. After waiting 16 years for this reunion, it’s no wonder Lan Zhan had no qualms about holding onto WWX’s wrist in public for much longer than socially appropriate.  

I actually get a little emotional every time I rewatch this episode and watch Jin Ling display his mad archery skills because I would always think of how much he takes after his dad. His parents would’ve been so proud to see him all grown up like this; Shijie would’ve been so happy she probably would get teary-eyed as well every time she saw her boy in action. Sure, he’s a spoiled little princess, but he is also a pretty skilled princess with a heart of gold and I just wish they had more time together as a family.  

They looked so happy, look at all those smiles. It really makes me so sad that Wei Ying will probably never be able to hug JC like that again, and of course he’ll never be able to hug Shijie period. Great now I want to cry again.

Lan Jingyi Appreciation Section

I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned this precious boy by name so far, so I wanted to take this opportunity to show him some much deserved love. Lan Jingyi with his resting bitch face and steady stream of snark was really the MVP of this episode. He actually made me laugh out loud a few times...in fact, he almost always makes me laugh as soon as he scrunches up his face like he’s smelling something bad. I recently saw someone mention that he’s really the most un-Lan of the Lans (sorry, I forgot who posted that so I apologies for not giving proper credit) and that is really the perfect description of him. I love this kid as much as I love Sizhui and Jin Ling, and I am also sincerely fascinated by him. I mean, who raised him in the Gusu Lan sect? Cuz I cannot imagine Lan Qiren being the one since Jingyi undoubtedly would’ve had all his snark driven out of him at an early age. Hell, the amount of disciplinary action he probably had to have gone through would’ve probably killed him at a young age.  Did he join the sect when he was already fully formed so that’s why he’s still breaking Lan sect rules right and left? He threatened an old man and is like rude to everyone. I don’t know all 3000 rules but I’m pretty sure being mean to the elderly and insulting to supposedly mentally unstable people are probably not allowed. If anything, his disposition would make him more suitable for the Lanling Jin sect and yet he’s with the stuffy Lans. WHY? I could watch a whole spin-off series with just him and the other juniors as long as we get to learn about how he came to be with the Gusu Lan sect. He’s hilarious and adorable, and among the many the reasons why I wish we had more episodes for the present-day arc, one of them is because I wanted to spend more time with the juniors, especially Lan Jingyi, even if it meant the screenwriters would’ve had to go off book and create new scenes for them. It would’ve been well worth it to hear LJY throw more shade at people.  

Random Bits of Randomness

It’s kinda crazy how WWX just stood there with his back turned, oblivious to Jin Ling’s attack. If Lan Zhan’s blade hadn’t blocked JL’s sword, that would’ve been the end of our main protagonist. I just thought that was such an odd scene...I would’ve felt just a little better if Wei Ying had at least had a little more awareness that an attack was heading for him and made some attempt to get out of the way.  

Ugh, that mask. First of all it’s ugly AF, and secondly it’s so freaking ill-fitting it was distracting. Would’ve been nice if the production team gave him a mask that actually fit his face. I mean, did it HAVE to be THAT damn big? I’m amazed they don’t have bts clips of Xiao Zhan tripping and hurting himself because the stupid mask blocked his vision.

Other than being a brilliant mastermind and Oscar-worthy actor, Nie Huaisang has got to be one of the greatest cultivators if not THE greatest cultivator of all time to be able to conjure up an illusion like that. That thing was doing real damage to people. If it was just a phantom, what the heck was holding up those two cultivators in midair like that? And what kicked Jin Ling around? I know Wei Ying was able to drive people crazy with his flute during his Yiling Patriarch phase, but his handiwork still felt more grounded and reasonable than this.  

Questions I still have (please feel free to answer them):

- Who was that old man at the grave? Someone NHS paid to just hang around the graves until the juniors and WWX came by?  

- So NHS basically fucked up Yan’s entire family and God knows how many other people just to get WWX to eventually play his flute to lure Wen Ning out from wherever he was hiding?

- How did JGY not know Wen Ning escaped? Or did he just leave those details to Xue Yang so he didn’t really care about what happened to Wen Ning?  I’m trying if this was addressed in the book but my mind is coming up empty. I don’t think it was brought up in the show though, or I just completely missed it.

Overall Episode Rating: 9 Lil Apples out of 10

[thelittleredheadedmusician]

Holiday Cheer?

For @newsies-secret-santa I got @radioactivepigeons which is kinda funny and I thought was totally rad so please enjoy this silly fic! Words: 4,637 Rating: PG Summary: Blink got a job at Target and has to work Black Friday in the electronics department. Really things can only go up from here. AO3

Blink wanted to die. Well not literally. But if the choices were death and this? At least he wouldn’t have been miserable with the former.

He’d needed the extra cash, even though he despised the holiday season and the capitalist hellscape that it created with a deep burning passion, Blink’s laptop was about to die and there was just no way he could buy a new one and pay rent for the month. Thus, the seasonal hours he was picking up at a Target out on Long Island. Which meant working Black Friday. Joy to the ducking world. 

It was now almost three hours into his shift and he was being screamed at by his fourth Suburban Mom With Bad Highlights. Honestly? Blink was kinda numb to it at this point. In some not so distant aisle a baby wailed. Soccer Mom took a breath and Blink seized his opportunity before she could continue yelling at him.

“I’m sorry ma’am but we are sold out. Our system says that there’s three left at our West Orange location though.” 

She huffed but grabbed her cart and shoved her way out of the electronics department. 

In the aftermath, Blink allowed his faux charming smile to falter for just a second. He hadn’t been able to let it drop so far since his manager had informed him that the costumers might find his eye patch “off putting” which he would normally reply a “fuck you” to but he really needed this job.

If Blink’s ancient laptop finally bit the dust, then he wouldn’t be able to use the text to speech program that he needed to complete his readings. Because after a day full of classes, meetings, essays, research, and TA-ing he was tired. Reading was just. Not an option. He was lucky his vision held out until he got home. If his laptop died, he could kiss his long dreamt of PhD in English Lit goodbye. And Blink was one stubborn son of a bitch so that was not happening. He’d gotten this far; he could get through December.

Maybe.

Hopefully.

He had to get through today first though. And damn these people were sure making that hard. 

The baby stopped crying abruptly and a John Mulaney quote sprung to Blink’s mind. He didn’t mean to, but he mumbled it anyway, “You hope it was a miracle… but probably not.” 

A muffled snort sounded from in front of Blink and he felt himself flush with embarrassment when he looked up to see a guy standing there on the other side of the counter. A very good-looking guy. A downright hot guy with a mess of curls and what appeared to be dimples as he laughed at Blink. And oh duck. He was laughing at Blink. 

“Please tell me you were consciously aware of the fact that you were quoting John Mulaney about a baby,” Hot Guy was saying now. And god it was shitty of Blink to just completely objectify him like that but damn it was internal, barely six a.m., and what else was he supposed to call him? 

Blink smiled, for real this time, and gave a shrug. Which actually felt kinda good after having not moved from this spot since the store opened. “Can you blame me? It’s true.” 

Hot Guy laughed again, louder and longer this time and throwing his head back as he did so. It gave Blink a perfect view of his smooth, dark throat, his skin just a few shades lighter than his curls. He’d started to nod as he chuckled. “It’s true,” he was saying between laughs. And Blink couldn’t tell if he was agreeing with Blink or repeating what he’d said. 

Blink knew he was just grinning dopily him, but he really couldn’t help himself. He was practically dead on his feet and he hadn’t even had “lunch” yet here stood Blink’s dream partner. Cute, laughed at his stupid comments, knew John Mulaney quotes. Look, Blink knew it was a low bar, but you’d be surprised how few people managed to cross it. Normally it was the second point that tripped them up. 

Finally, Blink managed to come back to where and more importantly when he was. “Sorry, uh, is there anything I can help you with?” 

Th guy shook his head, his hands were shoved deep in his coat pockets and when he made a sweeping motion it pulled his unzipped coat into a sail. “Honestly? I’m just biding my time while my mom guilts my aunt into giving her the last of whatever toy my cousin desperately wants so that she can be the hero come Christmas morning.” 

“Wow,” Blink said with a low whistle. “That is some next level family drama.”

Hot Guy rolled his eyes but that smile never slipped. And thank god, Blink was pretty sure that looking at that smile for the rest of the holiday shopping season would keep him from wanting to commit a felony.

“They’re so competitive,” he was saying, “that now they have to come up with new ways to be competitive. It’s a mess. But can’t say that it makes for a dull holiday.”

He was buffeted by an overlarge man, pushing him closer to Blink’s counter and causing him to stumble. Instinctively, Blink reached out to steady him and managed to grab his upper arm. What felt like his very toned upper arm. Oh duck. Blink was so dead. He didn’t even know this guy’s name and he was already gone on him.

“Thanks,” Hot Guy said once he was steadied. He glanced to Blink’s nametag before looking back up at him with that brilliant smile. “Louis. Thanks Louis.”

“No problem,” Blink heard himself saying because that was it. Wherever Blink was now it wasn’t this plane of existence. He had no clue what he was doing or saying because internally he was just a mess of giddy screams. Pretty people just should not exist because this is what happened to Blink when they talked to him. “It’s insane in here, not your fault.” Oh duck. Had he been rambling? Man, he hoped he hadn’t been rambling.

The smile never slipped though so whatever nonsense was coming out of Blink’s mouth Hot Guy didn’t seem to mind.

Suddenly a voice cut through the chaos. “MIKEY! WE’RE LEAVING!”

His smile twisted into an apologetic wince. “That’s my mom,” Hot Guy told him and Blink was pulled none too gently back to reality. “I’ve gotta go or I will be left here. You always on electronics?” he asked quickly as he started backing away.

“Um, no just today.”

Hot Guy had reached the main aisle and was nodding. “Ok. Um, I’ll find you then?”

Blink nodded and raised his hand in a wave. Hot Guy, well apparently his name was Mikey, flashed him one last smile before sprinting towards the front of the store.

Blink meant to watch him as he walked away but a little old lady’s perm had filled his vision and when he looked down she was rather urgently holding out a stack of coupons and a flyer opened to the new iPhone. He had a few thoughts – who thought it was a good idea to let an octogenarian out Black Friday shopping at the peak of the crazy, there was no way those coupons were actually going to be accepted today, he was not authorized to sell iPhones, he did not have the patience to explain that he was not authorized to sell iPhones to her – but they all were shoved down as she started talking at him.

~

Two p.m. and the end of Blink’s shift did not come soon enough. He was due back bright and early tomorrow at seven, but luckily he was just stocking shelves the first few hours and wouldn’t have to properly think again until he had to work a register after lunch.

It was odd walking out into the bright afternoon sun after having gone into the liminal space that he now called his place of employment in total darkness. The parking lot was still full, and he squinted against the light as he searched for Sarah’s silver Toyota in a sea of silver sedans.

He finally found her at the back of the lot, seemingly talking to herself and waving her hands around as she did so. He knocked on the passenger window and she turned to beam at him before unlocking the car and continuing her conversation.

“I mean, I stand by what I said.��

“Oh, I know you do,” Katherine’s voice came out of the speakers, obviously on the other end of the call. “But that doesn’t mean it’s a viable option.”

“What are we talking about?” Blink asked. He rubbed his hands and held them up to the vent where Sarah was blasting warm air. The walk wasn’t that far but the wind had been killer.

“Murder,” Sarah said cheerily at the same time that Katherine said, “My family.”

“Ah, holidays,” Blink said with sarcasm laced cheer. The girls laughed and Blink sank further back into the seat, exhaustion finally hitting him full force.

“Ok, well I’ll let you two go. See you soon!” There was the sound of raised voices somewhere in the background and Blink guessed that Kath wasn’t just hanging up to let Blink and Sarah talk.

“Bye Kath’rine,” he mumbled.

“Bye Kath!” Sarah said brightly and then there was the weird boop of the call disconnecting. She turned to Blink – or at least he assumed she turned to him but Blink had enough seeing for one day thank you very much and so had pushed his eye patch up onto his forehead and had his eyes closed with his hands pressed over them – and started talking to him with the same enthusiasm. Which was refreshing from the faux happy of his coworkers and the misery of the shoppers but like Blink was not on that level. “So how was work?”

“I hate capitalism. And middle-aged white women. And Christmas.”

Sarah hummed as she put the car in drive and began to back out of the spot. “Yeah, best part of being Jewish? Not doing all that.”

Blink laughed. He hadn’t really done Christmas growing up, after his dad died it’d just been his mom and his brothers and him and his mom really tried but money was tight. Normally they each got a new book and just watched A Christmas Story. Which Blink really didn’t mind and he loved reading and well, he still uses the whole “You’ll shoot your eye out!” thing as his excuse when people ask him about the patch. Just says, “Ralphie was lucky, he was wearing glasses. Me… well I used to have 20/20 vision.” It made people laugh and he didn’t actually have to answer the question.

But all this Black Friday nonsense? All this “buying the perfect gift” and making it the “best Christmas ever” and trying to be a picture-perfect Norman Rockwell family just for the one day a year even though everyone knew it was a sham? Yeah, that was bullshit and a load of bullshit Blink really didn’t need in his life. But damn he needed that new laptop.

“Well thanks,” Blink said after a short silence.

“For what?” Sarah asked. They were good friends, thanks to Jack being one of Blink’s buddies from high school and Jack and Davey meeting in college and being, well, Jack and Davey and then Sarah being Dave’s sister it only made sense that they’d crossed paths freshman year and hit it off. Though they were probably the most surprised of anybody when they’d gotten so close over the next couple of years. Even then, Sarah wasn’t a mind reader and Blink had a habit of non sequiturs.

“Driving me to and from work. Especially today what with the hours. And then being willing to bring me out here every weekend for the next month,” Blink explained.

Sarah scoffed but Blink kept talking before she could start telling him how little she minded. He needed to get it off his chest.

“And for inviting me to Thanksgiving and letting me stay with you and your folks. I already thanked ‘em yesterday for it and for letting me stay the weekends but you’re driving and I’ll pay you for some of the gas once I get my first paycheck and-”

“Louis!” She cut him off and Sarah only ever called him Louis if she really needed his attention. “It’s fine! You don’t have to thank me or pay for gas! Jeez. I’m helping Les prep for his SATs and coming out every weekend anyway, it’s literally not a problem. Besides, my parents love you and since they moved out here they have the spare room. On top of all that, you’re one of my best friends, you’re always welcome at the Jacobs Family Thanksgiving, with all its insanity, and I’m more than happy to help you out in any way I can. We all are.”

Blink sighed and sat up to look at her. Sarah was glancing at him out of the corner of her eye, trying to gauge his reaction. “You’re too good.”

She just smirked and shrugged. “I mean, I’m going to make you help me help Les so really you might want to rethink that.”

Blink laughed and he could tell that Sarah was pleased with herself. She let him sit in silence for a little while longer as she turned into the development that her parents had moved to when the twins were in high school. Mr. Jacobs had gotten injured at work due to the company cutting corners and not following the proper safety protocols. They’d sued and managed to win enough that they covered the medical bills and moved to the family out of their cramped apartment in Lower Manhattan to the nice house in suburban Long Island. Now, Mr. Jacobs served on the town council and worked as a safety inspector and the house had become a weekend refuge for their children’s ragtag group of friends.

“So,” Sarah said as they neared her parents’ house, “anything that you need to curse about from today before we get home?”

Groaning and throwing his hands up in the air made her laugh but the look Sarah gave him said she wasn’t going to accept that as an answer. Blink sighed. “If I never hear a thick Long Island accent again it’ll be too soon.”

That got him a snort. “You’re friends with Spot Conlon-”

“Who has a Brooklyn accent and yes there is a difference!”

Sarah scoffed, obviously not buying it but Blink was willing to die on this hill.

“I really don’t understand what everyone needs a seventy-five-inch tv for. Honestly. And now I officially cringe anytime I see a woman with a ‘Can I Speak to Your Manager’ haircut.”

Sarah turned into her driveway and parked but didn’t turn off the car yet. “That it?”

Blink shrugged and began to nod before freezing. “Oh my god. I can’t believe I nearly forgot.”

Sarah looked concerned and he knew he must have a horrified expression.

He turned to her and looked at her seriously. “Sarah.”

“Blink?”

“I met the love of my life this morning.”

“Really.” She sounded incredulous.

“I swear to you. I am in ducking love.”

“Uh huh. You get their number?”

Blink winced, remembering his mistake from being dead on his feet when he met the guy. “No…”

“Blink!”

“Look! It was early! Like before sunrise! And I was on the electronics counter! I’m lucky I was able to speak coherent English!”

Sarah snorted but remained silent, giving him the opportunity to redeem himself.

“I got his name,” Blink told her and was rewarded with an impressed raise of the brows. “And he said he’s gonna come back another day when it’s not crazy to see me so…”

With a sigh and a shake of the head Sarah showed that he’d lost any points he got by getting the guy’s name. “So? Who is he?”

“Uh, Mikey.”

“Mikey…? What. What’s his last name.”

Blink winced. “I just know his name’s Mikey.”

Sarah gave him a blank look and turned to shut off the car and get out. Blink resettled his eye patch and hurried to follow her. “You’re hopeless,” Sarah called over her shoulder as she walked to the door.

Blink sighed and followed. “I know.”

~

Saturday passed in a blur. Thankfully it was significantly less busy and Blink actually knew the answers to all the questions he was asked but it still drained him. He practically collapsed when he got in Sarah’s car.

“Mystery Mikey show up?” she teased but Blink knew there was genuine interest in there too.

Blink sighed. “No.”

“Well you’ve got time.”

Blink just shrugged and allowed himself to doze off as they drove.

~

Sunday afternoon saw Blink climbing out of Sarah’s car so he could get his bag and climb back into Sarah’s car so she, Blink, and Davey could all get back to the city. He felt absolutely wiped from his first weekend working at Target but knew it was all because of the sales. Some not so distant part of him said that he should just get used to this though because he was working weekends all holiday season and this was just going to be his life now.

He thanked Mr. Jacobs again and gave Mrs. Jacobs one last hug and Les’s hair one last ruffle before following Davey out the door. They both threw their bags in the trunk and Dave shot him a quizzical look.

“You even pack anything? You only needed red shirts and khakis,” he deadpanned.

Blink stared at him for a few seconds. “Wow. That joke? It was so funny I forgot to laugh.”

Davey snorted and Blink responded with an eyeroll. Normally he’d have smiled but he was too tired to do much else than turn to get back in the car.

He stopped as he caught sight of the next-door neighbors’ driveway. Next to a blue Honda was a mother hugging her adult son tightly. The guy had his eyes turned skyward and seemed to be enduring her public display of affection. It looked like he was gearing up to say something to her when he saw Blink though.

That was when Blink knew. He’d thought it was Mikey, his mystery crush from Friday, but when he froze Blink knew it was him.

Mikey’s mother could be heard asking him what was wrong as he stiffly released her and then she was turning to watch him cross over the grass dividing the two driveways and walk up to Blink.

They stood there staring at each other in shock. Sarah had come out and distantly Blink heard her ask Davey what was going on and Davey mumbling something back. But Blink didn’t care because what’re the odds that he’d actually meet the guy he’d decided he’d fallen in love with again?

“What’re you doing at the Jacobs?” Mikey finally asked in awe.

“Uh, spending the holiday? They’re letting me stay here while I work too cause I live in the city. And Sarah likes me for some reason so she’s driving me around.” Blink didn’t know where the blatant honesty word vomit had come from, but he blamed the shock.

Mikey laughed. Blink could do little else but stare.

“Blink!” Sarah finally called from where she stood at the driver’s door. “What is going on?”

“This is him!” Blink gestured towards the man in front of him, hoping desperately that Sarah would understand.

“Mush? Mush is who?” Sarah obviously did not understand.

“Him! Him,” Blink implored. “The guy from Black Friday!”

“What’re you talking about?” Davey sounded tired. But Davey always sounded tired. Blink elected to ignore him and go back to grinning dumbly at Mikey.

“Hold up,” Sarah said, drawing everyone’s attention. “Your Mystery Mikey is Mush from Next Door?”

“Apparently!” Mikey, or was it Mush? Did he have a preference? Or did Blink have to earn that? Was it an inside joke?

“I’m so lost,” Davey informed them and went to sit in the car.

“Why didn’t you just say that it was Mush?” Sarah sighed. “It could’ve saved so many melodramatic sighs.”

Blink felt his cheeks heat and glanced to see that Mush had bit his lip to try and keep from laughing. Duck that was adorable.

“Um, in Louis’s defense I never actually said my name,” Mikey/Mush finally spoke up. “If I’d have thought to properly introduce myself it would’ve been as Mush Meyers but I’m guessing you and the entire store heard my mom call me Mikey so…” He trailed off with a shrug.

Sarah snorted before Blink could reply. “You actually said your name was Louis?”

“It’s what’s on my nametag! No way I’m gonna run around telling random costumers to call me Blink. And it was busy and I was distracted,” here he gestured vaguely at Mush, “so I didn’t get the chance to say that I go by Kid Blink but most of my friends just call me Blink. Only people who don’t are my mom, my professors – with the exception of Jackson but he’s my advisor – and now my coworkers.”

“And me when I’m annoyed with you or want your attention,” Sarah added.

“And Sarah when she’s annoyed with me or wants my attention,” Blink corrected.

Mush nodded, that easy smile Blink had called to mind so many times in the past couple days was back. “Ok, let’s try this again.” He held out his hand, “Hi, name’s Mush.”

Blink beamed at him and shook his hand. “Kid Blink, but you can just call me Blink.”

“I think you’re really cute and funny and I’d love to get to know you better, want to get coffee some time?”

He didn’t think he could smile any wider after a six-hour shift as a cashier but somehow Blink managed it. “I would love that.”

“Awww, cute,” Sarah interrupted.

Blink turned to glare at her, but he caught Mush biting his lip again out of the corner of his eye. He was going to make sure that Mush always stood on his good side because Blink wasn’t ever going to miss a glimpse of that face if he could help it.

“Can you exchange numbers and plan this date that way?” She continued. “Not to be pushy but I really don’t want to get stuck in traffic on the Brooklyn Bridge.”

“Brooklyn,” Blink muttered in annoyance and was surprised to hear Mush do so too.

At Blink’s raised brows Mush shrugged. “It’s this guy I know, Spot Conlon, it’s his turf.”

“You know Spot?” Blink had to pause a second. How was it this guy lived next door to the Jacobs, or his mom obviously did, and he knew Spot Conlon and Blink had met him on the worst day of the year in a ducking Target electronics department.

“Yes, yes, and I’m sure it’s a thrilling story and I’m sure you’ll discover a million more little connections because Long Island and New York City are the biggest small town in the world and everybody knows somebody who knows somebody who knows you but traffic is not going to get any better the longer we stand here in the cold,” Sarah huffed.

Dave rolled down his window. “She’s right and will only get meaner.”

“Thank you,” Sarah said primly. Davey just nodded and the window went back up.

Blink turned back to Mush to see he already had his phone out and a new contact page pulled up. He took it and put in “Kid Blink” and in the company line “Alex from Target 2.0” before typing his number and sending himself a text.

Mush laughed when he took it back and Blink smiled in triumph. “I’ll text you,” Mush said firmly and he slid it back in his coat pocket.

“Uh, actually can I call you when I get home? It’s uh, it’s um-”

“Absolutely,” Mush cut him off and kept smiling. “Whatever you prefer.”

Blink smiled back and nodded. “Ok. Cool. Thanks.”

They both stood there grinning stupidly at each other until Sarah honked the horn, obviously having gotten cold and impatient. Blink waved as he got in and Sarah backed out of the driveway, watching Mush wave back until he disappeared.

~

The next Friday when Blink slid into Sarah’s car where she pulled up outside of his apartment building, he was met with a “Hello” and a surprise hug from the backseat. Blink turned to see Mush sitting back there and grinning wildly. They’d talked nearly every day this week and had gone on their first official date on Wednesday.

“What’re you doing here?” Blink asked in awe.

“My mom wants me to help put up the Christmas lights and I remembered you saying Sarah was taking you out with her on the weekends, so I texted her and asked if she’d mind if I tagged along.”

“Obviously I said no he couldn’t,” Sarah said dryly. “He’s also been recruited into the ‘Les Jacobs SAT Prep Squad.’” She looked at him seriously in the rearview mirror and Blink knew she wasn’t joking about that. Mush just laughed and shrugged.

“If I were a better friend and a worse sister, I’d have left him drive you,” she told Blink softly.

He looked back over the seat to Mush before turning back to Sarah. “Nah, this is perfect.”

They all chatted as they neared the Brooklyn Bridge before Sarah started grumbling about rush hour traffic.

“You know,” Blink said suddenly. “You never did say how you know Spot.”

Mush started laughing and launched into the story. Blink was so swept up in it, and most importantly Mush animatedly telling it, that he hardly even noticed as Sarah cursed up a storm.

Blink might still hate the holiday season. And really hate working retail. And especially hate working retail during the holiday season. And need a new laptop. But, with meeting Mush he thought that it was all more than worth it.

[nobodies-png]

I'm very happy you've already done reader playing with the Org XIII:s hair! Let's reverse this to them wanting to touch/play with the reader's hair. Who'll ask for permission, who'll find an excuse, and who will just go for it?

oh this, I love t h i s a lot, nonnie - thank u v much

Xemnas :

Xemnas just goes for it. It happens during one of those rare moments where he can just properly c h i l l with you and walk around the castle - you’d ramble about whatever funny shit you saw Demyx do when s u r p r i s e, you feel the faintest of touches. Xemnas doesn’t even flinch when you turn around, surprised to see his hand still wandering through your locks. B u t he is super amused by your reaction.

His touch is so light and gentle you legit barely notice it. The b i g b o s s is just content with just feeling the soft texture of your locks and your scent, commiting them to memory.

Xigbar :

Xigbar probably uses his powers to sneakily play with your hair, giving you playful light tugs and touches here and there because it’s really fucking funny to see you turn around and look everywhere in confusion. When you manage to catch him and confront him about this, he’ll just shrug and give you some half-assed excuse. But the moment you say “well, you could’ve just a s k e d for permission”, Xigbar’s smile broadens, replying with a “so you’re saying I can? S w e e t.”

Okay, Xigbar is up for just giving you stupid hairdos, whether you have long or short hair. But he’s also down for teasing you as much as possible, like blowing air on your neck when you least expect it.

Xaldin :

Xaldin will try to find a good excuse cause he lowkey wants to try to be more a f f e c t i o n a t e with you without being too straightforward - and he highkey doesn’t want to be seen as a hypocrite, with how protective and reluctant he is about letting others near his hair. So chances are he’ll give you random excuses like “oh wait, you got something in your hair”, trying to be subtle. And it kinda works the first few times, but after the 25th attempt, you’re n o t so sure.

Xaldin’s not used to being gentle, so it’s hard to miss the slight tremble and hesitation in his hand. You end up helping loosening up so he doesn’t treat you like you’re made of glass.

Vexen :

Vexen has no problem asking you for permission, like come on he’s not a teenager in love. He’s curious about your hair so he’ll ask you if he can fiddle with it for a while, easy. But s u r p r i s e, it ain’t so easy. The more he thinks about it, the more he’ll overthink until he gets cold feet. Then he forgets about it. Then he’ll remember and r e p e a t the entire entire process. In the end, Vexen just goes for it so he can’t back off.

At first, he’s sort of rough, inspecting your hair more than playing with it. But as the conversation goes, he’d relax and end up just petting your head instead.

Lexaeus :

Lexaeus has enough braincells to know that he should just fucking ask you like a decent human being. So that’s exactly what he does. No overthinking, no bullshit. And since he’s a man of few words, you listen patiently to his explanation cause it’s rare to hear him talk - He thinks your hair is pretty and wants to play with it, but he understands if he’s overstepping any boundaries and will back off if necessary. Done. Boom. Easy.

You’d think Lexaeus would be afraid of hurting you but n a h b i h, he’s got his strength under control so no worries. You can basically f e e l the happiness radiating off him while he gives you little braids.

Zexion :

Oh Zexion’s c o n f l i c t e d. He wants to ask you directly because that’s the normal thing to do, but he finds that option way too embarrassing. What if you laugh at him ? Social interaction is already hard enough. After asking  Lexaeus and Vexen - who both give very contradicting advice, Zexion would most likely just have the castle Moogle pass you a note, asking you to meet him at the library. And after like, 40 minutes of idle chatter, he’d just awkwardly ask if you’d let him play with your hair.

Tension ease off his shoulders as he starts to relax. Zexion probably starts telling you a lot of stories about him as a kid pulling a lot of pranks on Vexen’s hair along with Isa and Lea.

Saix :

Saix goes for it. He knows the right thing to do is to ask for permission, but it’s just hair so it can’t be that bad if he just fiddled with it for a while, right? It’s not really a big deal for him - but if it’s a big deal for y o u, then he’ll openly explain that he just felt like touching your hair, with the most deadpan voice. Maybe even a smug faint grin. Depending on your reaction, he’ll either drop the subject entirely or properly ask you for permission.

Okay but knowing Saix, you just sort of expect him to be super stiff and cold about this entire thing. But s u r p r i s e, he gives you a ridiculous hairdo, knowing that no one will ever believe you if you tried accusing him.

Axel :

Axel is the type of guy to ask for permission w h i l e he’s doing the thing. His hand is already running gently through your scalp when he asks if he can play with your hair - since you two are close, he doesn’t think he should be so polite and proper around you. He ruffles his friends’ hair affectionately all the time, so you’re no different ! If you complain, he’ll back off but pout and insist for a bit. Like come on, i n d u l g e him.

Soft and gentle touches are reserved for intimate moments, so Axel ends up doing the same thing you’d do with his hair : trying every single possible hairstyle and getting way too invested.

Demyx :

Demyx doesn’t even have to do anything. By the looks he gives you - and specially your hair - while you two hang out, you can pretty much figure out what’s going on around his head. He thinks he’s subtle but s w e e t i e, tapping your chin and humming loudly while staring so openly is quite the o p p o s i t e of being subtle. When he finally makes up his mind to ask you for permission, you cut him off with a “yes, go ahead before we both die of old age”.

Demyx just marvels at the difference between his and your hair, wondering if he should get a similar style to yours. He tries to give you a total makeover and f a i l, resulting in both of you laughing your asses off at the final product.

Luxord :

As another gentleman, Luxord also asks you directly without any problems. He’s not a c a v e m a n like some o t h e r members so he’ll just approach you whenever it seems convenient and after some small talk, just bring the subject up. Maybe even offer another friendly game, like he usually does in legit every single situation lmao. You obvi let him just play with your hair cause it’s way easier than being defeated in some card game for the 342854th time.

It’s not a big deal for him. Luxord likes to just fiddle with your hair whenever you’re close while he reads or does other stuff. He thinks it’s super calming and loves seeing you slowly fall asleep next to him.

Marluxia :

Marluxia finds some excuse to play with your hair whenever he feels like it, mostly under the pretense of wanting to give you even more advice on how to take care of your appearance more. There’s no ill will in his words  though and you gotta admit the man has some g o o d tips. It becomes something so reocurring, he doesn’t even have to say anything - you just simply let him play with your hair. It’s not like he’s doing anything bad, so why not ?

You’d expect some fashion judgement coming from him, but surprisingly, Marluxia is pretty chill. He falls asleep while playing with your hair more often than he’d like to admit.

Larxene :

The thought of asking or coming up with an excuse doesn’t even cross Larxene’s mind, she just goes for it as soon as she realizes she wants to play with your hair. You don’t even have time to complain when she pulls you towards her with her usual sharp look and smirk, telling you to stay still and behave while she just does whatever she wants. And y’know how Larxene is, she can’t resist throwing in some unnecessary comment here and there.

Letting her play with your hair is kind of a game of chance : sometimes she’ll be nice and just relax, sometimes she’ll tug your strands “accidentally” just to get a reaction.

Roxas :

Like Axel, Roxas thinks he shouldn’t have to ask, you two are close after all ! B u t he also doesn’t want to make you mad on accident. He’d give you a lot of excuses, only to run away before doing anything. “Ah, your hair keeps getting in your face - here, let me get that for yo U ACTUALLY, I GOTTA LEAVE RIGHT NOW.” In the end, he’d confess that he was really nervous about this entire thing.

Your depression is instantly cured as soon as you see his expression of amazement, like he’s seeing a new world for the first time. Roxas has the time of his life playing with your hair and just chilling with you.

Xion :

After consulting Axel and Roxas a dozen times - and maybe other members of the organization as well - Xion f i n a l l y musters up the courage to ask you directly. She might stutter and stumble over her words at first, avoiding eye contact, but she’ll get it out eventually. Usually, she has no problem asking you stuff, but Xion kind of thinks this request might be odd and just really childish.

She’ll just kinda fiddle around, gasping and muttering under her breath like “oohh” and “ahhh”. But after testing the waters, Xion would try her best to give you a super fancy hairstyle.