#this fascinates me a lot bc a lot of people who have periods and grew up christian admit to having a 'virgin mary crisis'

[itstokkii]

All these anons just make me want to talk about Turkey more. What are your favorite Turkey headcanons? Personally I love to think that Sadik writes poetry in his spare time, and is very, very good at it.

As someone who ships Turkfra because of how fascinating the history between France and the Ottoman Empire is (Franco-Ottoman alliance) I like to think that they would both really bond over each other’s rich poetry culture. Not to mention their rich cuisines. Maybe they cook together in the evenings, or take turns cooking and surprising each other with elaborate dinners.

Youre so right

aph turkey hcs

- physically he's around 180cm, perhaps he had visible muscles during the ottoman empire period but he's mellowed out now and let a little softness take over his form. He put on a little bit of weight bc he's a sweet tooth but it fluctuates from time to time.

- definitely keeps cat treats in his pocket for the stray cats of istanbul!! and when he fishes he leaves a portion for the cats to eat!

- while he is a cat person and owns cats(one of them is named tombili 🥺), he also owns a few dogs too! he probably gets along with germany on that part(maybe korea? though korea owns the cute fluffy tiny dogs that feel the need to eat your face off when it makes eye contact with you).

- is a man of the kitchen. aside from cooking the most banger meals, he dabbles in tweaking recipes or creating new ones altogether! ive seen enough turkish dessert accounts on instagram to know he'd make a bomber cake with coconut shavings, or a pretty good custard.

- the coconut shavings are important btw they're like on every single homemade turkish chocolate cake for some reason??(source: baby tokki grew up with a lot of turkish family friends)

- sorry i have to do this but...he has mediocre drip 🥲 sometimes he dresses like your average old man or middle aged dad and then sometimes it's so obvious that he's trying to dress like the youngsters.. he def has his knockoff Adidas tracksuits and they always come in clutch

- he's not an old man however. he was born as one of the many tribes running around in the seljuk era before he eventually became the ottoman empire. physically...around his mid 20s to early 30s?

- and cuz he has turkish dad vibes...he regularly watches soccer games. like he lays down on the couch elbow propped up eating pistachios as he watches soccer in a Galatasaray shirt(actually turkish fans of hetalia pls tell me who hed be a fan of bc I don't regularly watch turkish soccer)

- regularly plays volleyball!

- life of the party at weddings tbh, especially those rural ones

- very hospitable! he'll arrange a table full of treats and black tea for you and won't take no for an answer as he brags about how hospitable he is.

- when you're at his house DO NOT EVER suggest getting takeout. he will stare at you with a >:0 face

- WILL spill the tea over tea. man's got enough connections to tell you abt who's cheating on who etc. while he has his whole spread of treats and black tea out he'll keep you up on everything. when he goes "Ok so basically" that's when you brace yourself because OH BOY is someone in a secret relationship with someone else and that person you'd always assumed was super shy actually sprinkled salt on their ex's backyard

- the ac in his istanbul apartment keeps breaking(good luck with that man 😔)

- that's why in the summer he spends a big chunk of his paycheck on icecream. bro makes sure to always have icecream stocked on him at all times(just like me fr !!). he'd even eat it in the winter he loves it that much.

- also at the same time he drinks hot tea in the 40-50 degree summer as well, another win for the turkuzbek fans !

- big into architecture, and back in the day it was custom to write a poem to commemorate a new building. he definitely wrote a few but spent forever thinking about how to write it and pissed a lot of people off because they were waiting for the poem lol

- i actually really like fraturk's dynamic! because theyve got a lot of history together, it would be terrible to ignore. i think they have definitely gotten together during the Franco-Ottoman alliance lol.

- one time the french wanted to flex on austria × spain by going "oh yeah??? well we got turkey!!" and commissioned a huge super ornate crown to gift to suleiman the great. see the funny part about this is um. the turks didn't wear crowns. so suleiman never wore it lol

turkey, holding the crown: uhmmmm... wall decoration I guess?? this is awkward

- the name "turquoise" comes from the French "turkish" to describe the gem. i guess that's a fraturk win??? since we all associate that color with turkey now

- they'd probably try to one up each other with the dinners they cook! (can france handle lahmacun??? tune in later today at 11pm to find out !!)

- coffee guy x tea guy with the whole parisian coffee culture and turkish tea culture thing. (except I mean. turkish coffee also exists so)

- I wanna think france tries to help turkey with his drip situation but. turkey always got that inner middle aged dad in him it's not going anywhere

- bulgaria likes going to turkeys place cuz the stuff there is dirt cheap ~~~~!!! rip the lira you would have loved economic stability

- speaking of bulgaria, bulgaria greece and turkey argue a lot over who invented yogurt. turkey thinks he's got a stake in it because of the etymology of yogurt(yoğurtmak), but like the bacteria to make yogurt is called lactobacillius bulgaricus, but everyone thinks of greek yogurt...yeah you can see why they're all arguing

- speaking of arguing he's ratioed saudi a couple times on twitter lol

- he also posts those ironic turk/turan copy pastas as well

- egypt kinda doesn't like him. during the ottoman empire turkey launched egypt to suppress arab revolts like a pokemon.

*putting down fingers* "the greeks don't like us, egypt doesn't like us, saudi definitely doesn't like us....bulgaria likes us cuz we're a cheap travel destination for them..." - my turkish business teacher in highschool, 2023

- gets along well with korea(uhoh BIAS incoming !!!) due to their history beginning from the korean war. the turkish brigade was the only military unit that built a school for korean orphans. there's a story of a soldier taking care of a korean orphan, but he wasn't able to adopt her. they were separated for years after that until one day they reunited. they'd also suffered the third most losses in the war. that's why we call turkey our "older brother country."

- there's even a turkish culture center in seoul(which baby tokki went to a lot lol). recently turkish kaymak has been trending since one of the top korean celebrity chefs paik joongwon visited turkey a while back to try food. people have been traveling to turkey to go to the exact stores and try those foods as well. there's a lot of kebab shops in korea! the turkish presence in korea was the starting point to accommodate muslims in korea as well.

- all of this to say korea and turkey have a mutual admiration and korea definitely calls turkey oppa or hyung. korea also tries to get him to change his drip but NOTHJNG CAN DEFEAT THE STEADFAST TURKISH MIDDLE AGED MAN RAAAH 🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷

- I've said it before I'll say it again: turkey cannot hold a normal conversation with mongolia because he'll always go "OH MY FELLOW NOMAD STEPPE ALTAIC BROTHER HOW ARE YOU DOING!!!" what???

- same with the central asians tbh given their nomadic history as well. he was the first nation to recognize all of their indepences fom russia. he gets along with turkmenistan a lot because they're the closest languages to each other(both in oghuz family) and a lot of turkmens go to turkey to study at their universities! the governments quite stagnant with their policies however, so turkey's having a hard time convincing her to join the turkic council as a full time member. they give me a gojo and megumi vibe for some reason lol

- kazakhstan 🤝 turkey: both having the asian/european identity crisis

- in terms of first meetings, the kazakh khanate and ottoman empire first established diplomatic relations in 1713, and along with uzbekistan, tried to seek turkey's help in the face of an expanding russian empire.

- nowadays, turkey and kazakhstan are the ones to both try to stir up that regional/turkic unity among the central asians. they've gained some small wins along the way lol. in fact, turkey, kazakhstan, and kyrgyzstan were the founding members of the turkic council! kazakhstan admires all that turkey's doing for them but sometimes thinks he's too cocky. actually all the central asians think he's cocky to certain extents lol

- bro gets along a little better with hungary now and that could be because of the whole "huns=turkic?" debate resurfacing in hungary which is why they somehow landed a spot in the turkic council as well???

uzb kaz kyrg turk azer @ hungary: white woman jumpscare,

- he and hungary regularly bother prussia whenever they're in germany lol

- scraps w the netherlands bc tulips come from him!!! not from Licorice Man!!!!!

- fluctuating relationship with iran over the years

- was a fanboy of iran during the seljuk empire until she joined the khwarazmian empire(uzb's mom lol) and then he hated her

- also close with: azerbaijan(who may or may not be his number one fanboy), japan

Here's everything I could squeeze out of my brain lol hope you like it!!

a good chunk of these hcs are by @peonycats and @hetalia-fannn btw!! sorry for not initially crediting u guys i forgot 😭

[oivsyo]

Why I’m still creating for Narutoverse?

The thing is, thanks to one particular thread on Twi, I’ve figured out that I only watched Shippuden until episode 54 in my teenagehood. Now I have watched it selectively up to the end ofc, but I think this  fact is the reason why I didn't give up on Naruto and it still inspires me. I grew up during the best years of Naruto and skipped the downfall of the story, so I mostly have positive memories about the story and characters.

It all started when I was 14? (now I don't remember exactly), and my friends brought me anime titled Naruto on a flash drive, because then I didn't have the Internet yet. They said 'try this, you may like it'

OG and the beginning of Shippuden were very good. VERY GOOD.

OG is generally my favorite part of the story, the characters shone in all their glory and developed very logically. It's no surprise that these characters have made so many people fall in love with them. Also in OG, the tone of the story was completely different. The world was more cruel and gloomy, more realistic. In the first OG arc, there are two ambiguous antagonists who die dramatically in the end. The fights were about taijutsu, weapon and strategy - exactly what you would expect from a ninja story. Yes, even in OG there are many inconsistencies and plot holes, but this story IS fascinating. The Chunin exam arc is still one of my favorite arcs of all Naruto.

The space on the flash drive on which the episodes were brought to me was very small, and I couldn’t watch many episodes in a row. So I have watched many of them over and over again. I remember that before the start of the summer holidays, my friend brought me episodes with Neji VS Kidomaru. I've been tormented for 3 months about not knowing if Neji would survive. With the beginning of the new school year, my friend brought me new series with a sequel, and it turned out to be Shippuden right away.

Shippuden started very cheerfully and confidently. Euphoria that I experienced bc my favorite characters returned was beyond any words. Characters matured, their designs changed. 

Sakura immediately became my goddess because the growth of her character was very much felt compared to all the others. From a useless and annoying crybaby, she became strong, strong-willed, skilled, she became a real kunoichi. I’m sad that her development and training were not shown properly, but even so the impression was very good. It's not an exaggeration to say that Sakura from early  Shippuden, was a role model that I wanted to look up to as a teenager.

In the first arc team Gai was shown. Neji’s redesign won my young heart, probably it‘s Neji to blame that I’ve developed a crush for long haired men. Even though his interactions with Hinata were not shown in the beginning, it felt like he had changed a lot and softened up towards everyone. 

I also really liked Hinata's design, but I remember at that moment I thought - ‘ how could she grow such long hair in such a short period of time? Apparently the Hyuga clan has some special recipes for hair care’. That was one of the reasons why in my AU I decided to make the timeskip longer - 4years instead of 2,5.

I really wanted to see how the grown-up Neji and the more self-confident Hinata interact with each other. I was sure that it would be an arc dedicated to the Hyuga clan and how the two of them, with the help of Naruto ofc, change the clan. Unfortunately, my aspirations were not destined to come true.

Ep 41 where Naruto loses control and hurts Sakura - is a chef's kiss. The fox feels like an absolute evil with which such a sunny and good person like Naruto has to deal with. Aand ofc Naruto wa supposed to loose control bc this evil is too much for  him. Naruto being possessed by the demon and hurting his beloved ones is a theme that I like and I'm very sad that it was wasted.

An intriguing and long-awaited meeting with Sasuke - a moment that is well engraved in my memory as one of the last ones I watched. 

Then I abandoned watching Naruto and anime in general for reasons I can’t remember, but probably it was because of graduating from school. Some years later I heard the news that Hinata confessed to Naruto and that Neji died in the manga, but at that time it didn’t make a big impression on me, firstly, I wasn’t already involved that much, secondly, I had a premonition for a long time that if Neji and Hinata are not supposed to be a couple at the end, then one of them will definitely die - most likely Neji, bc MC needs a girlfriend. So when I found out that Neji died protecting Hinata and Naruto, I just thought "NejiHina is canon and now it’s confirmed". But it didn't become a traumatic dramatic experience for me. I also remember everyone hyping that the Naruto manga was over. I even read the last chapter. I felt a slight sadness at the sight of Hinata at Neji's grave and that story that had a strong influence on me when I was a teenager is over. That was it. I again forgot about Naruto for a very long time.

Two years ago, in a rather difficult period of my life, I experienced an irresistible urge to watch Naruto. And I did it. I had a very mixed impression of what I saw.

Perhaps the last arc that I liked was the arc when Asuma was killed. I liked the villains, I liked the drama of Asuma/Kurenai, of InoShikaCho and Shikamaru’s personal growth. It was good. 

Then I witnessed the degradation of the plot, the characters - of everything. I don't know what was the reason, but the series just got boring. Previously interesting and deep characters have turned into cardboard mannequins. 

The more Shippuden developed, the more villains that “were not villains” appeared. There was no one comparable to Zabuza and Haku or Orochimaru from OG. A breath of fresh air for me was Hidan and Kakuzu, who simply enjoy making a fuss, torturing and killing.

The whole atmosphere of the series has become somehow very sterile and toothless. Naruto as a character became very shallow and at times even annoying for me. Becoming stronger and gaining new powers he at the same time stopped developing as a charater. Probably the only time I liked Naruto in late Shippuden was when Naruto got depressed because of Sasuke in the Land of Iron.  

The fights bacame more spectacular, but were no longer as interesting as in the beginning, now everything has turned into “who has a bigger and stronger technique���. 

Kaguya as a villain is just nothing. She is just a doll, very powerful, but a doll. Moreover, even such a powerful doll was subsequently weakened for the sake of the plot. In general, this "for the sake of the plot" is what characterizes Shippuden, especially the later episodes. The characters do and say what is necessary for the sake of the plot, because of which they feel like fools or cardboard for me. New characters appear to replace the old ones, which are not developed enough, the final battle of the war, where the villains hatch one from the other almost saying "It was me, Dio!" and “I’m stronger than the previous one!”

For example, I know that a lot of people like Madara, but for me he is almost never remembered, just one of war arc villains. Although I can’t deny that the intrigue about him was built up really well. And i like his design.

Akatsuki, who made an impression of a very serious opponent for the characters in the OG and the beginning of Shippuden, in fact turned out to be just an unorganized group of people who weren't so scary. It’s still not very clear for me why many members of the organization are there at all.

Itachi.... He used to be one of my favorite male characters. But the “the truth is that he is a good guy’ seemed far-fetched to me. Probably because it wasn't planned from the beginning so his previous actions contradict a lot with his intentions. Therefore, none of his good intentions forgive his asshole attitude towards Sasuke in OG. The fact that his "ingenious plan" worked is only due to the fact that it was necessary for the plot. To me, he was a very cool protagonist, but trying to make him an anti-hero only ruined him. However, I still think Itachi looks awesome.

I have not much to say about the events after Shippuden. I watched the Last. By the way, over the past year I have watched it as many times as probably no average fan of TL has watched it (I want to redraw some scenes and need to understand the logic of the original plot very well), and my opinion about the movie has changed - for the worse, unfortunatly.

I watched Boruto a bit, 15 episodes or so and I must say that I even liked it. I’m not joking. The characters are quite interesting. The focus is not on the main character (as it was in the beginning of Naruto). I liked that the academy period was shown. Although sometimes what is happening is absurd and too fanservice, Naruto really lacked this. Because of what, it seemed that 1) the OG characters did not learn anything at the academy 2) they did not communicate with each other there all 6? years of the academy, and only after graduation, becoming genin, they began to interact.

In Boruto I especially liked Chocho, she is a beautiful goddess and I kneel before her. This girl rocks with her awesome self-esteem. I also liked Shikadai. 

However, the attitude towards the old characters and the lore of OG and even Shippuden leaves much to be desired there. When I managed to ignore the fact that Boruto is a continuation of the story for more than 500 episodes, then it hass become ok to watch. I think this is the reason for the difference in the perception of the old audience that grew up on OG and Shippuden, and the new fans who watched Boruto first. These are really two different works and it’s very difficult to perceive them together, because in some places they simply contradict each other.

And probably someone will now think - ‘well, since you don’t like everything and you complain so much, why the hell are you staying in this fandom?’ and the answer is actually quite simple - there’re a lot of things in Naruto that I really like and that inspire me. If you want a metaphor, I choose grains from a mountain of husks and this grains inspire me a lot. I have critical thinking and imagination, what’s more important - I don’t know how to love unconditionally and don’t consider this a manifestation of pure love. I see a lot of flaws in Naruto as a story, plot holes, inconsistencies, wasted characters, etc., but I still like Naruto a lot. I prefer to focus not on what I don't like, but on what I like. Such things have a greater weight for me on the scales. And thanks to this approach, I continue to do what I do with great pleasure, it keeps me productive. No, I'm not bothered  that 'it’s not like this in THE CANON!!!’(c), NEJI IS DEAD(c), and even more it doesn't bother me that someone thinks about it and that there are some ppl who don’t like my art. I like the concept of multiverses and for me Narutoverse is kinda Minecraft where you can create different stories and events useing bricks that were given in the canon. And I enjoy doing it. That's all.

What is the conclusion of all this? Well, nothing in particular, I just shared my story about Naruto bc I felt like sharing. The only thing, perhaps, if I continued to watch Naruto back then 1) most likely I would be disappointed and quit watching, the series would leave a bad impression on me and I would hardly draw Naruto after so many years 2) I had been more involved in what was happening, then Hinata's confession and Neji's death would have hurt me more, as well as many other fans who left the fandom after these events. And I just don’t take it that seriously. In general I have a rather chilling attitude to the canon, I just want to have fun and nothing else matters to me. Probably because I didn’t watch the entire series in my youth in my vision of the characters  based on OG and early  Shippuden images of the characters and I use them in my drawings ideas for drawings.

[papirouge]

What’s are your views on “purity culture” among christians

I think it varies between denominations but the idea is still around mainly fundamentalists. It’s definitely important to teach women how important it is to be picky, believe in hypergamy, and ignore probably the 90% of scrotes that aren’t good people but I never really believed in flat out refusing to teach sex ed, what stds and stis are, what Plan B is, and how birth control and condoms work. Which seems like a lot of these more fundamentalists tend to do.

I had this friend who is divorced now. She grew up in that type of environment where they were very strict about her purity but ignored the boys virginity completely. Like she had two brothers who were total opposites. 1 was basically community dick and caught a disease and her parents didn’t care 💀 the other was an incel who was very anti social. And her parents were upset that they couldn’t marry him off because not even the desperate fundie girls wanted his violent outbursts. He’s still single too and approaching 40

She was married young to her ex and had no idea how sex even worked. She was only told to avoid it and it just scared her. So when she got married, she told me how her parents and church counselor were upset that she didnt turn into someone who liked sex immediately. Even kissing was new to her and she didn’t know what to do. She didn’t like it at all/avoided sleeping in the same as her husband and was told by them to suck it up when she expressed she had pain. When she got older she left that church and her husband but was ex communicated by her family for it.

Does that type of stuff happen in France?

Purity isn't much of a thing anywhere else in the world because as I said, most of USAmerican evangelicalism staples are rooted in culture not in Christianism. I've always found fascinating how France & its very liberal "sex culture" was compared to the US (age of consent is 15 years old, birth control & abortion is free, condoms are handed over in highschool, etc.) yet managed to have proportionally lower abortion rate than God fearing United States of America lol

Fundies family don't exist anywhere else in the world beside the USA anon so nope, we don't have this kind of messy affairs here. Catholicism is in a limbo here in France and real Catholic families are very rare. And even when they do, they don't hold such a spiritual grip on their members to guilt trip them into marrying someone. The only stories of people being excommunicated are bishops coming out as gay or being caught dating/having sex with women lol

The story of your divorced friend is very representative of the double standards of women virginity vs male virginity. Although it's quite normal to particularly warn off women about the consequences of sex because, unlike men, they are the ones who'll carry the baby so they have much more responsibility to deal with (as unfair it may sound). But it doesn't mean men virginity is any less relevant.

Many of women will never want a community d*ck, that's why her busted brother is still single at 40 (which is weird bc red pillers always said men got more value as they got older 🤔).

Fornicators are literally filled with demons and should be avoided at all costs.

And yet, I'm sure he's not shamed like his sister was to marry a man she was even attracted to... Her story is so sad.. but she's better off outside of this cult though. She's lucky she if she didn't have any child with him...

I think kids shouldn't be taught sex ed before middle school. I did in elementary school and it lowkey fucked me up. Even when I was 12-13 years old I had a male friend of my age who told me how many times a week he masturbated and it triggered me so bad lmao

Tbh there should be something progressive, like first learning about sexual organs, periods, how babies are made (12~13 years old), than at 15 about birth control(?) IDK the idea of teaching kids sex at school is weird to me but I think I would be even more traumatized if my mom taught me any of this because we NEVER talk about things like that lmaoo I guess it's important to build a trust relationship with your kid from start so that it's not awkward when you actually do? IDK I lowkey hate the sex talk and wish sex wasn't such a big deal in society so I'm probably not the best person to inquire about that lmaooo

[beesbeesdragons]

ww1 au, they're all anzacs (so australian/nz soldiers) and it's written in an epistolary style, so as letters sent by each of the links to people back home over the course of a month or so, during 1916 in the leadup to the battle of fromelles (aka australia's first big battle in france post-gallipoli). it's partially because it gives me some interesting characterisations to work with (eg sky being from the middle class while hyrule is from the working class, four living in sydney vs wild living in woop woop, etc), and partially because the social developments during that period are fascinating to me; the everyday aspects of life in the trenches is both interesting and incredibly bleak, and ww1 specifically is such a massive part of australian history and I want to write more about it in the future, so this is where i'm starting! the links also all have,,,other names (like, different first names related to their nickname)

the full list of everyone's backgrounds:

Sky; engaged to Sun, lived in Melbourne pretty close to her and was studying maths at university. wants to become a pilot after he saw a plane for the first time. he grew up in the blue mountains but moved to melbourne when he was around ~13, which is when he met sun. enlisted during the gallipoli campaign but didn't go to gallipoli. got his nickname from the plane thing.

Time: married to Malon, they live in rural NSW and own a small-ish property, which malon is maintaining with her family's help. he enlisted around the same time sky did. the unit's resident Dad. He's the oldest in the unit. got his nickname based off the fact that he...somehow has a pocket watch that still works??? no one knows how tho. it's just. there. he also plays like six instruments and has a nice bass voice.

Warriors/Wars: lived in regional-ish victoria (geelong), was regular army. was in gallipoli, he's the highest rank of the unit (captain). got a promotion as he was the only surviving member of his last unit (at gallipoli). at this point, he just really wants to go home. has an 'understanding' with sheik but no one,,,really gets whats going on with them. got his name because, well...he's a soldier

Legend: lived in sydney. bastard child, sister of his zelda (fable, I think? the zeldas are harder to keep track of). he's...chill. wasn't at gallipoli but he's also, like, been a soldier longer than most of them, coz he signed up in 1914. got his name coz he somehow managed to sneak a small book of greek myths (it was actually a copy of the illiad) to the front. how? no one knows.

Four: lived in Adelaide, worked in a factory as an engineer, pretty chill. got his name coz he keeps complaining about having four siblings. the unit's resident stem kid. about 19, shorter than everyone.

Wind: lived in Cairns, helped out on fishing boats, lied about his age to enlist (is 15 turning 16 in july, the fic starts in early june). got his nickname because he was born in wellington, nz, which is famously windy. also because of the fishing thing. has a kiwi accent. writes to his sister but also sorta to tetra (and by that I mean that he,,,leaves it in the postscript)

Twilight: farm hand, grew up in rural nsw and worked on time's farm before he enlisted. was in gallipoli but not for as long as the others who were there. got his nickname bc one day they got leave and he made them watch the sunset and said some Sappy Stuff. he's good with animals and keeps talking about how he wanted to join the cavalry. Also had a dog back home named Wolfie that is definitely not part dingo. Writes to Midna, who's his childhood friend and also...sort of sister? he's her father's ward, before he left to work.

Hyrule: grew up in (modern) Melbourne (for anyone curious, around where Cragieburn is), wanted to be a doctor but thats expensive so he settled for learning local medicine and helping out where he could. Still better at first aid than anyone else in the unit. Nickname came from a fantasy novel he talked about a lot, apparently given to him by one of his friends (one of his zeldas, idk their nicknames). he's the most recent arrival.

Wild: grew up in rural NSW, around Kosciusko. Nicknamed because he's definitely most knowledgable about actually surviving in the wilderness. was a stablehand/sometimes shearer on his zelda's/flora's family's farm and has a...thing with her. was in gallipoli, didn't have a great time. has facial scars from a fire he was in as a kid. He's used to going hungry. one of the younger ones (signed up when he was 17).

I have been hyperfixating on legend of zelda for like the past week and now im learning embroidery to possibly one day make a botw!link cosplay help me its getting too strong

then I found linked universe and help now im writing a historical au for it

[nicollekidman]

dude ...I used to hope Taylor swift was bi / a fellow lesbian out of optimism lol, because i admire her work and when seen through the lens of a closeted woman all the secrecy metaphors make a lot of sense.... it would be so fascinating and heartbreaking if it were true! but I’m getting too old for conspiracies . I dunno. What keeps you believing?

okay so! i’m gonna preface this with a few things: it’s gonna be long bc i haven’t talked about taylor in a long time and i’m having Feelings and Thoughts, and my journey with miss swift is necessarily very personal and i won’t pretend otherwise! 

firstly: i don’t think i need to “keep” being convinced. for me it’s not an ongoing search for evidence - i believe that her songs speak for themselves and all the personal clues that might or might not be reaches are just icing on the cake. 

i grew up in a country music-listening household and loved tim mcgraw when it came out as a single when i was in middle school! i was pretty much hooked on her songwriting for then on, and her albums always seemed to come out at pivotal points of my life. “we are never ever getting back together” was the soundtrack to my move to university in 2012 and 1989 coincided with my junior year which was revelatory in that it was the time when i was really coming to terms with being gay. my journey with taylor dovetails super closely with my own personal journey, in ways that i think are familiar to a lot of people. as a young girl i latched onto her storytelling and her confessional voice and then as i began to realize i was experiencing attraction to women, i found a lot of comfort and understanding in her lyrics. this happened for me really late in life compared to some people! i was 21/22 when i first identified as bi, and it wasn’t until later i began to think it was possible i was a lesbian. my experience with unlearning compulsory heterosexuality, examining my own emotional interior life, and thinking about why it took me over 20 years to even consider i could possibly love women made me look at taylor in a new light. 

i think everything i need is in her music. that’s where taylor is at her most uninhibited and truthful. i think when you look at the themes/relationships she’s been writing about since she was a teen, you can see that as long as you’re willing to suspend the presupposition that everyone is straight until proven otherwise, she writes in a way that resonates with gay women for a reason!! as a younger artist she relied on a lot of fairy tale imagery, perspective shifts, and idealized stories of love. especially when she talks about those songs.... (and she still does this), she’s always connecting them to movies, to books, to things outside of her own experience. and when she is clearly talking about herself, she takes second-person pov or otherwise spins narratives that are full of yearning and a hope for a perfect fairytale in the future. i think that mode of almost.... daydreaming about an idealized version of a love story hits close to home for us! and then her later albums are MUCH louder, with themes (as people have pointed out over and over again) that just don’t hold much weight if you view them through the lense of a very famous wealthy woman writing about equally well-to-do white men. when i hear songs about forbidden love, itching to hold the hand of your beloved in public, crying over seeing heroes die alone, spinning a portrait of a life in the future where she can share her home and her love with all her friends.... when she writes so acutely of pain and agony associated with living in a fishbowl and enduring long periods of being undercover and secretive with only stolen moments of peace/beauty.... EVERYTHING i need to believe she’s not straight is in her songwriting, which i view through the personal lense of being a gay woman myself. 

everything else... the masterposts and the powerpoints and the “clues”... those are helpful in terms of opening your eyes to the concept of PR relationships and recognizing that just because you’re fed something by a celebrity doesn’t mean it’s real, but it’s not the base of my feelings about taylor. i will say though, i originally was convinced that taylor was a lesbian because of swiftgron, what we know about the two of them publicly without any reaching was enough for me to recontexualize lyrics i thought i knew the story behind, and to start thinking about her whole body of work differently. i will say also that i was never one to follow along with taylor’s personal life until this point, i had a passing awarness of the men she was supposed to have dated but i didn’t give it much thought. however, i saw swiftgron stuff right as i was recognizing i was gay myself, so it opened my eyes and almost... gave me permission to understand that het is not the default!! then of course i’ve been active since 1989 and watced kaylor unfold in real time. it is still my belief that during the glass closeting era, they were obvious because the kaylor rumors benefited both of them and laid the groundwork for a coming out that was derailed by kissgate. everything afterwards..... well... 

i am not a fan of thinking of this as a “conspiracy” i think that that idea is perpetuated by homophobes that think that everyone is straight and assuming otherwise is somehow an insult or a gross invasion of privacy. i think the vast majority of people who think taylor is gay are doing what all swifties do, which is analyze her music with a layer of projection and personal identification. however i do think that taylor encouraged the speculation for a while, and fully intended to leverage existing kaylor fans into a solid base when she came out (which i do think was planned post-yntcd but was shelved). i think there is PLENTY to look at in her public image and personal posts/behavior that would lead to a person who is willing to look at things objectively to come to the conclusion that she wasn’t straight. she has absolute control over her image and there were too many public outings and “coincidences” to be an accident. 

HOWEVER i think that people who run blogs or talk about her gayness based on obscure clues and overanalyzing every micro-movement are missing the point and often too dedicated to their own placement as “Big Blogs” or receivers of “intel”, in a way that is mostly embarassing and myopic. i have always always been of the general opinion that we will never know every detail of taylor’s relationships, nor are we entitled to that information. she is a breathing, thinking, complicated woman with a HUGE public life and an equally huge private life that belongs to her alone. 

building a public platform based on smoke signals and secret messages and inside sources has never been something i’m at all interested in, and is largely unnecessary. her story is all right there in the lyrics of her songs, and the things she shares with us publicly. i do think there have been hints/clues in the past and they’re very fun to analyze (which she encouraged!!), but much of the digging/reaching is unnecessary! we will never know for sure until she comes out herself, but i believe that her whole body of work and her messaging speaks for itself. the only thing keeping people from more widely accepting this is truly the assumption that being heterosexual is a default, and you have to Prove otherwise with a preponderance of evidence. i readily admit all of this is influenced by my experiences and emotions as a gay woman, but everyone projects onto taylor swift. 

i’m fully convinced based on her music + her past public relationships with women like dianna and karlie + her intentional hints that she is a lesbian. however i am not interested in inventing “evidence” because she’s not on trial! and i’m happy to wait for her to come out, which i absolutely think was planned for lover era and then abandoned for various reasons!! 

[painted-crow]

I haven't been on tumblr in a hot century so it feels a little weird to be writing a submission to you... but I just bingeread most of this blog and your way of explaining the shc system is so gloriously comprehensible that I really want to pour my brain out at your feet and have you explain the bits to me.

I hope life is treating you well and thank you for the awesome blog you run. The way you describe things and the way you help people sort themselves is clear and clever and so very kind of you to do, and that's what I appreciates about you. :)

(This was a chunk of a submission from someone who ended up sending in a second version that I answered in depth, but the fan mail portion from this first version was so sweet that it seems mean to just delete it. So here it is, as a #cutie post. 😊)

[ariwrld]

sometimes i’m like,,, “would the brothers have, like, any concept of race the way humans do? no, right?? because they wouldn’t need to, right? right?? because there’s no way it’s, like, Mattered To Them Before” and i try to relax 

and then i’m like,, “if there’s a black m/c with, like,,, type four hair and they’ve never, like, seen it before, what then? are they gonna be curious? more than likely, right? but, like, how curious?? they wouldn’t just straight Stick Their Hands In It, right? oh, but wouldn’t they, though? because the only ones who i just know wouldn’t do it are satan and luci. but mammon? asmo?? most Definitely. belphegor would probably do it too if i’m being Completely Honest, but the others (save luci and satan) would just Openly Stare At It. satan is without a doubt already educated enough on this matter, and luci is just incredibly well mannered. luci would probably only ask about it or ask to touch it once he thought he and m/c were close enough.”

and Then, while i’m on a ROLL, i’m like, “and taking care of natural hair takes Time, so a lot of the time we just get protective styles like dreads or box braids or cornrows, or a wig/sew in, etc, so what if we have a black m/c who shows up with a fro and then two months later has like pink box braids down their back. What Will They Do. belphegor would definitely just play w their braids and asmo would constantly run his hand through them. What Questions Will They Ask. i just know asmo will ask them how they grew their hair so fast i just know he will; and while the others wouldn’t Ask, they would Definitely Be Thinking It. and speaking of asmo, he would one hundred percent try to convince a black m/c to straighten their hair and pout when they refused. do Not try to deny it. oooohhh, and you know something else? you know what pains me to even Think?? luci (and asmo especially) would Definitely ask a black m/c if they would straighten their hair for a special event like a ball or something and if satan found out, he would be Beating Ass. satan would probably expressly tell a black m/c that if his brothers were being culturally insensitive then one, he’s sorry, two, tell him immediately. satan is the protector of all cultures and minorities, change my mind.” 

and while i’m Rolling and Going, while i’m Already Here, i’m like,,,,, “if a black m/c had a pink afro would beel try to eat it. he would. he So would, esp if it smelled nice. but like other than that he would really only ask the typical questions that nonblack people have about black hair (’how long does it take? can i touch it? how often do you wash it?’) and then that would be the end of it for questions. everything else is compliments bc he’s a sweetie <3. levi is exactly the same way. ++ it’s worth mentioning that they would never ask them to straighten it, same w satan. i feel like he and beel would just have childlike wonder/fascination and it’s kinda cute ngl. mammon would be the same way only he wouldn’t Ask to touch it, he would just Dive In and probably would take a while to understand why m/c didn’t like it. would he ask them to straighten their hair? idk. would he openly wonder what it looks like while straight? most definitely. belphegor would Never ask them to straighten it bc, if it was long enough? that’s a pillow. aside from the pillow aspect, he also doesn’t care what they do with their hair so like,, probably would ask the same questions as beel and from then on it’s (minimal) compliments. would most definitely play w their hair as he/they fall/s asleep.” 

more race related obey me thought dumps to come because one, i like to self indulge, two, i do be thinking about this stuff for long periods of time. pls ask me about it, i wanna hear other opinions!

[camphorror]

the only friend who i coul talk about this stuff isnt really interested in talking about me anymore so im just going to type all this overhsaring cap while trying to calm down from crying for 30 minuets an throwing up from the crying

i have an :::aunt”” who hates me because she is literally a raicst who stopped talking to my mother when she decided to marry someone who isnt from the same ethnicity as her and then of course she hates me for being a tainted person for his horrible offense!! i never really knew her she neve rinvited us to birthdays or anything she did at her house with her evil daughters and we did invite them for birthdays because i just very much remember not understanding why she is so distant (compared to my “”normal”” aunt) and just always wanted her to like me up until i grew up old enough to understand why it was that they ere all like this

now fucking 7 YEARS ago  was at my grandmas and i was looking at old photos and back then i was very much into ww2 and like 30s-40s time period in europe and all and i was fascinated by all the old photos she had and she allowed me to take a lot of old photos some she wanted me to bring back so i just scanned them and brought them back and some she just let me have i swear to god she let me have them some were of people she didnt know she didnt let me have any of her old photos besides the ones that had 2 copies but she pm let me have all of my grandfather’s (who i have never met) photos from the 30s-40s and these photos were my favourite ting in the world i usedto go over them once every month since fucking 2014 to see if they ware ok i recently planned to try and get an album for them bc i dont think it’s kept well in a box if you ask every close friends i have how many times i told them want to see something cool and showed them these photos i love these photos with all of my heart and they fascinate me i even wanted to san all of them and try to find maybe some site or subreddit that can help me translate some of the writings on the back of some of them as idk what language it even is and it’s all in cursive. not once in the past 7 fucking years (ok actually once but it wasnt here it as my evil aunt) did my grandma ever ask me for these photos because she kne wi have them and i keep them and i cherise them 

then suddenly last week when my supposedly normal aunt wwas here because my scumbag aunt visited my grandma when she had fucking pneumonia and my grandma got sick and she’s generally been like weird mentally lately like she’s not 100% in the moment. anyway they were both at her house when she was sick and suddenly suddenly my supposedly normal aunt claims that my grandma wants all the photos back. but does she say it herself? no. my aunt tells it to my mother.i got pissed pff and offended that she didnt call me. i am not a child. after some insufferable back and forth my grandma says she just wants the photos she’s in. ok. whatever. my aunt says she’ll go get copies of them and bring me back i dont care. then suddrnly when i went there to give it to them my aunt asks me if i have more photos and i like yes sure i have [everything i mentioned above] she flis out like i didnt know youhave them give them to me i didn’t know it i will copy of all of them!! like ok first of all not my fault you didnt know you live in almost the other side of the country sincr 2010 youre not suopposed to know that i took photos 7 years ago. notlike i have to share every detail. second of all i liteally did tell her something about this once. ok i tell her i will give her all the photos before she goes home she has a friend who works at a photogrhy store who can copy them for cheap.

so now i know the reason this is happening is bascially my “normal” aunt and ym evil aunt literally manipulate my grandma into caring about these stuff because i know the thing here. THE CRIME here is that my evil aunt does not have these photos. i know she wants them, the reason i took them 7 years ago is that i knew there was no way on earth my mother would have these at any point and i just decided i want them (and my grandmother ALLOWED ME). but whatever. copy the photos have it your way i dont care

now my aunt came to take them todaynd i told her when she called “you  are giving me back the original photos i got them 7 years ago it’s not fair to take them” she says ok. i meet her downstairs and i chat to her and i tell her again “really you give me back the original photos ok” and suddenly when she physically has them iin her hand she says no!!! i will give you back the copies!! i say no youre lying i wouldnt have given shit if i knew you’d do this. she starts making excuses about how they need to have the originals because what f they’d want to give it to a fucking holocaust msueusm. i tell ehr why on earth give a meuseum original photos give them the copies. she says no and i was tired and irritated and i just told her whatever she got what she wants by lying so i dont care anymore. and i left her in the street and went home. i lost it on the way it happened an hour ago and im still crying. i cant believe this shit happened. these photos were mayb one of the most important things in my life. i just cried annd cried and lost it and lost my cool and started screaming and hitting everything. i tried calling her telling her it’s not fair she lied to me why is she doing this. i got sick of playing stupid and i said i know they only did this because they want my other aunt to have the photos. she then accused me (and my mother) of being the liars who took the photos and never said i had them (what the fuck?) and then lying saying we don’t have more (literally not true) and then she called me A CRAZY INSANE PERSON for crying and freaking out and telling her i know why all this shit is happening. and she said she doesnt want to talk to me becaus ei’m crazy and she hung up. i literally fell down crying and threw up and hit myself for being so stupid. i now understand why she wanted ALL the photos. including those of random who no one knows. because they just want them to have it.

i know my grandma doesnt love me as much as she loves them. my grandma also stopped talking to my mother once she got married but then she “got around it” but my evil aunt is he rfavourite daughter and her kids are her favourite grandkids and my “nrmal” aunt and them always meet toether and do family stuff together and never with us and they never see anything wrong with it.they even accuse me of “contributing to this stupid fight” even tho it’s insane to even say this like this thing started 2 years before i was born because of RACISTS and i was treated like shit as a child by these ppl but i’m still seen on par with their behaviour!!! so they dont care. i actually wholly believe my grandma want my shitty aunt to have those photos actually. i fele so stupid. this was my favourite possession in the world and i was stupid enough to let it go. i still cant stop crying until now i actually hate everything. im sick of all those insane people in every side of my favmily there are insane people on my father’s side i have sociopathic theives who dont even care their brother fucking died from brain cancer and most of which i dont even fucking know and on my mother’s side there are just a bunch fo self obsessed freaks who hate me for the crime of being born

[alias-b]

Without The Lights~ Billy Hargrove x OC Camille Harper

Chapter 1: Uptown Girl

Touch with Billy Hargrove often meant getting fresh stitches plucked open. For Camille Harper, he'd risk it. Camille was Queen Bee of Hawkins High School. The teen dream. Billy wanted her for it. No use lying about that much. But, they get more than they bargained for when two messy lives from opposite ends of town intertwine. Secrets unravel between them when one dimension bleeds into another. Camille is a girl just trying to do better when Billy barges into her life and new pieces come together. Maybe not all the ones they wanted. He gets tangled into her lavish existence. Rich girl. Absent parents. A mystery that blooms, threatening everything they built. And three little numbers: 006.

A/N: Also posted on my AO3 :))) I thought I’d conform and start posting here too bc why not!. Warning for mention of past bullying, teens drinking/smoking, and one light mention of forced vomiting. Starts at S2 and veers off into an AU at 3. Thanks!

** ** ** ** ** ** **

   It had to be a joke. Hick town. Piece of shit school. Nothing here came close to California. It was all gone. That sweet citrus air. The crisp waves of billowing sea water. Billy Hargrove decided anywhere was better than here. Hawkins, Indiana was a pit. Especially while an office aid with horrid breath prattled on across the counter. He couldn’t even fake the charm this morning.

   “Here are your classes, Mr. Hargrove. We tend to pair all our transfers with a student. Make your first day easier.”

   “Don’t bother.” Billy clutched an old messenger bag in one hand, snatching his class list to his chest. The secretary pretended not to hear him when the office door opened. A bubble of pink gum popped and Billy grew stunned.

   “Ah, here she is. Ms. Harper, this is William Hargrove-"

   "Billy."

   "-the new transfer. He’ll shadow you this morning.”

   “Camille,” her lips lifted in greeting. Hair flicked behind her shoulder when she adjusted her sweater. All dark locks and huge green, hazel eyes. They took a beat to stare. Billy knew instantly the circle this girl was in. Picture perfect. Pretty in pink. Prissy thing. Oh, but, she was a fox. His eyes drew to the tiny beauty mark under her right eye. That voice was lush even for a seventeen year old with such a sweet face. But, those eyes. “Let’s see it, transfer.”

   “Huh?” Billy lost his thought when her hand came up to pluck the schedule from his fingers.

   “I’ve got it from here, Ms. Krueger.”

   “Harper. Hargrove. Har har. Perfect fit,” the woman laughed at her joke and Camille looped one arm in Billy’s to get this boy to move his ass. She wouldn’t let him make her late.

   “Good one, Ms. Krueger.” That sweet princess smile dropped the moment they turned the corner so she pulled from him when he fell in stride. Billy was barely two inches taller than her. This girl glided like a ballerina. It was infuriating. Almost. “Shame I didn’t find you earlier, I could have warned you to keep a distance. That woman doesn’t know her way around a bottle of mouthwash.” Camille popped another bubble and peered up at him, lax. “We have first period together. English with Strode.” Billy found his charm again.

   “Lucky for you.” He remarked, earning the slightest huff of amusement. Barely audible. Students peered at them both, fascinated with the new boy. Sizing him up. He carried himself higher in response and grew annoyed when his thoughts lingered on Max probably stuck with awkward introductions as well.

   “Looks like I’ll also be seeing you in...hm, third period: study hall, lunch, and fourth period: chemistry. Huh...” Those bright eyes lifted and he gave a scoff, grumbling.

   “Everything else was full.”

   “This way,” she turned the corner and peered up to meet Nancy’s eyes. She’d pulled from Steve and given a slight wave that was acknowledged in turn.  Camille passed her and ignored everyone’s staring before she knocked one knuckle to metal. “Your locker. Lucky boy, you didn’t get a broken one.” She leaned against the wall and gave him a moment to stuff books away. “Where did you transfer from?” Camille watched him suck in his cheeks. Jaw clenched. Oh, he was pretty.

   “California.” He cocked his head and she caught the slightest dusting of freckles in the light. “Dad decides to uproot the family to the land of manure.”

   “You get used to that.” That silent amusement twitched.

   “Don’t bet on it.” He smacked the door shut, smooth now. “You the queen bee around here?”

   “What’s it to you?”  She walked along, gliding still.

   “Every school has their royalty.” Billy remarked and she changed the subject without breaking stride. A sort of challenge danced between them.

   “This way. Mrs. Strode is easy enough. Just nod a lot when she eyes you and pretend to take notes. You have Gym next. Down the hall all the way to the end, take a left, you’ll find it. Big room with basketball hoops and sweaty boys. Can’t miss it.” Miss Priss liked her dry humor, he noted. "I can meet you and show you where to go after. Keep up and don’t make me late. We clear, transfer?” She tilted her head to one side and Billy studied her.

   “Crystal.” He drew out the syllables and she smirked, turning to go off with another flick of lavish hair.

   “Welcome to Hawkins, Billy Hargrove.”

** ** ** **

   “How did you get the best job in school?” Carol leaned over the lunch table hours later.

   “Carol,” Camille sighed with no joy and pulled from her conversation with Heather next to her.

   “Showing that fine ass around?”

   “Aren’t you still with Tommy? Thought he was ass enough.” Camille earned a snicker from Heather so Carol stood taller.

   “Some of us are trying to eat,” Steve Harrington appeared from nothing and Carol shot him a look, going around him and bumping into Nancy on the way off.

   “Still bitter,” Camille remarked, sitting back.

   “She needs to get over herself. Anyways, I have to drop something off, see you in chem. New lab partners coming. I think I got Robin.” Heather hurried to go with a wave goodbye.

   “Can I sit?” Steve waited for a nod and Nancy joined him.

   “You two going to Tina’s Halloween party?” Orange flyers where littered all over the school.

   “Wouldn’t miss it. Didn’t that guy jump off the roof last year and land in the koi pond?” Steve shook his head

   “Rumor had it, he ate one of those fish on a bet.” Camille joked, eyes flicked across the way to see Tina giving Billy an invitation. Flirting.

   “So, the new boy.” Nancy began.

   "Asshole." Steve was quick to remark. "I have gym with the guy."

   “Rough and tumble sort.” Camille bit into an apple slice and shrugged. Year later and it was strange. Being friends again. Or, trying to. Suppose tragedy brings people together.

   “Steve and I are going tonight. To the Holland’s.” Nancy began. “You’re welcome again.”

   “Not sure I can do it tonight. Last time...and that house.” Camille paused, inhaling. “And my parents are going to be home together for the first time in weeks. They’ll want to do something.”

   “Dad still working late at Hawkins lab?” Nancy pretended to be blasé about it.

   “That and all the trips. He’s a wanted man, I guess. Mom is absorbed into her fashion thing. But, she loves it and I can’t knock her wanting to work again.”

   “What exactly does your dad do there these days?”

   “Never talks about it so I stopped asking. Big shot scientists. Can’t be bothered. Making the town a better place, always late to dinner. Whatever.” Camille’s eyes lifted. “Why the interest in my Dad lately?”

   “Just all that stuff last year. A lot happened. Fingers were pointed.”

   “They pointed wrong, I heard. Not like my dad would ever be involved in these weird conspiracies. He’s painfully normal.”

   “He could secretly be a Terminator, Cam,” Steve laughed and Nancy dropped it when Camille reached over to smack her friend.

   “Real funny.” She stood with her tray. “He says he helps people. He’s wanted to help people his whole life. I’ve heard every speech possible about it. But, whatever tests they’re running, they can’t exactly flash that all over the news. Small town labs, you know, they’re nothing. They’re glorified electric companies.”

   “They certainly can’t flash it.” Nancy tried to smile.

   “Tell Mrs. Holland I’m thinking about her.”

   “I will.” Nancy gave a nod, resting back while Camille dumped her trash out and couldn’t spot Billy when the bell rang. Huffing, she rolled her eyes and marched out, turning to sneak down the hallway and open a back door to a set of stone steps. Her assigned shadow was leaning into them, hurrying to snuff out a smoke.

   “Easy, beach boy, it’s me. You’re making me late for chem.”

   “Broke Princess’s rule, huh. How’d you find me so quick?”

   “Know the type. All the smokers who think they’re slick slip out this door. It’s the spot. Come on.” She cocked her head and he slipped in.

   “Tell me about that Steve Harrington guy. More royalty.”

   “Making new friends already. How sweet is that.” She picked up the pace when the bell rang again. “Steve, the hair, Harrington. Probably the most popular boy in school. Even after last year.”

   “Hearing a lot about last year.” Billy pretended not to care. Nothing exciting in manure land. So he thought.

   “Little boy went missing, it was a whole big thing. Thought he died but they found him. Thankfully.”

   “Girl went missing too in our class.”

   “Barb. They...haven’t found her.” Camille averted her eyes and he dropped that subject. “Steve ruled the school with the rest of us. Certain things went down and our group split. High school drama and all. Not very interesting. Why the questions, don’t you hate this place? Trying to be the new hair guy with those darling curls?”

   “Just like to know what I’m up against.”

   “Rough and tumble and in need of a new challenge. Noted. Hurry up.” Camille rushed into class with Billy unbothered behind her.

   “Ah, Ms. Harper and you brought the new transfer, how nice. Take the last two seats in back. You’ll be lab partners.” Mrs. West gestured, a younger teacher than his others here. Lovely, Camille turned her eyes to Billy and he looked utterly smug. “Billy Hargrove just transferred from California. See to it, class, that he feels welcomed.”

   “So far, so good, teach.” He turned up the charm with a wink and earned several girls sitting forward in response before he sauntered down to join Camille at a high table they would share. Pretty and aggravating, Camille decided. Billy eyed her again while the teacher began and she pulled a notebook out. Sleeves shifted up and he noticed a scar, small and round just an inch or so under her wrist. Looked like a burn. Hazel eyes lifted to see his blue ones and there was...nothing. Nothing there that he’d gotten from every other girl at this school admiring his ass in tight jeans. Billy took note to himself: a stone fox.

** ** **

   “How was school, honey?” Noah Harper locked the attic door behind him and Camille pretended she wasn’t trying to see into it. His eyes were intent until the lock clicked.

   “Fine. Had to show another new guy around.” She eyed the attic again. The only forbidden room in their huge house. “We still on for dinner with mom?”

   “About that...” He saw her shoulders drop. “Something came up and they need me tonight.”

   “You promised.” She batted her eyes.

   “I know and I’ll make it up to you.” He kissed her head. “Did you take your pills?”

   “Yes.”

   “New dose is helping, I’m sure.”

   “Less nosebleeds.” Camille shrugged, averting her eyes before she turned to go down the steps.

   “Camille, honey, I promise that we’ll get dinner next time.”

   “I know,” she faked a smile. “I get it.”

   “You are...everything to me. I love you and I’m sorry I haven’t been around the last year. You are so important. Trust that.” He came to her, tucking hair aside.

   “I love you, dad.” She let herself brighten. Just a little. Noah watched her turn to go off. Her mother was currently in her own studio, light filled the room while she mulled over a drawing and turned to pin pieces of fabric to a bodice on a stand.

   “Bow or no bow, darling?” Rosemary, a women growing more beautiful with age, mused and Camille considered it.

   “Bow.” She plopped into a cushioned chair.

   “Talked to your father, did you?” She watched her daughter nod with a pout. “We can still have our dinner and watch whatever romantic movie we wish.”

   “I know. I just...never see him anymore. It’s worse.”

   “It’ll get better again, they’re short staffed after those accidents. Your father was lucky to be out of town.”

   “He’s always out of town.” Camille tried not to whine. “I see Edna more than I see you two.”

   “We certainly have kept her busy with this house. She adores you.” The maid practically raised her.

   “I just miss my parents.”

   “We just want you to have a better life than us. That’s all any parent wishes for. We work hard and can only teach so much. You’ll understand when you grow older.” Rosemary kissed her daughter’s hair. “How was school? I heard talk of a new student. A boy?”

   “Yes...”

   “A cute boy?”

   “Gorgeous and bad news for certain.” Camille crossed her arms.

   “So you like him?”

   “Every girl liked him and he loved that.” She stood up. Billy was a bad boy drawn to royalty. “Going to get my homework out of the way.”

   “Pasta tonight?”

   “Yes, of course.” Camille hurried off, eyeing that attic down the long hallway before she continued on.

** ** **

   Camille didn’t speak to Billy much that next day. He sat behind her in English and resisted the urge to tug on loose locks of bouncy hair when she shifted in her seat. Study hall was similar, she sat alone with a book on Latin; completely absorbed. Smart and popular. An entire compact package. He could have wrapped her in a pretty, pink ribbon. The thought was enticing. Camille wasn’t the rich bitch she used to be. Well, still working on that but progress lingered between every little conversation with Nancy. Frankly, it was nice to be rid of Tommy and Carol in their group. She took note often of Steve and Nancy huddling together to whisper these days and stopping when she or Heather walked up.

   “Happy Halloween, Cam.” Heather never grew out of her sweet face. Doe eyes to match.

   “It is indeed. Want to come over and get ready for Tina’s party? My mom seemed excited about it and it’ll break her heart if we don’t let her fuss.”

   “Your house is a mansion, I wouldn’t miss it.” Heather laughed to herself.

   “I’ll drive you,” Camille cocked her head when they got outside. Billy’s blue Camaro whizzed loudly out of the parking lot. They caught sight of a little redhead in the passenger seat. “Didn’t know he had a sister.”

   “Stepsister, I guess. Seemed pretty short about that. She’s the same age as Nancy’s brother.”  The two friends got into Camille’s little grey car to speed off. “Are you going out for gymnastics again this year?”

   “Ah, not sure. Might tutor instead, they’ve been asking me.”

   “Thinking I’ll stay with cheer-leading. I’m so jealous of your brain.” Heather huffed to herself.

   “Okay, weird.” Camille laughed and turned a corner.

   “I’m serious. You’re somehow beautiful and you absorb books like a sponge absorbs water. And you’re different… Nicer.”

   “Okay, rude...but true.” She’d admitted and Heather smiled.

   “Good different like happier. Relaxed. You and Nancy are talking again. We never thought we’d see that day. Ever since…you know.”

   “I grew tits early and started dressing better and dropped my two friends. Yeah. Lesson learned.”

   “It’s just better now. Never too late I guess even for Queen Bee.”

   “Too sappy for your own good,” Camille peered over when they passed the Loch Nora sign and pulled up to her house. Lavish and cared for. Cold on occasion when they weren’t throwing the usual holiday party. “Taking your son out tonight, Edna?” Camille stopped the housekeeper on the way out. She was only in her twenties when she came to their family to look after this house and, admittedly, the daughter within whose parents were never around.

   “Yes, he’s so excited. Wanted to be the Terminator this year.” She laughed. “Goodnight, Milly.”

   “Night,” Camille looped her arm in Heather’s and led her inside where her mother was waiting.

** ** **

   Music boomed, vibrating Tina’s house while every teen inside danced about. Many wandered the grounds with red cups full of stolen booze. Spotting Nancy and Steve, Camille crossed with Heather behind her. Two drinks down into her stomach. Working on the third.

   “Aw, couples costume. I have to say I’m impressed.” Camille watched Nancy smile with dull eyes.

   “Madonna,” Steve eyed Heather, “best one yet.”

   “Damn, I knew I’d have competition.” Heather giggled and pulled Nancy off to get a drink.

   “She okay?” Camille asked after a beat and Steve rubbed his head.

   “Not sure, she’s been acting weird ever since...ah,” Steve stopped himself. “You know it’s been a year and the dinner, I think...it brought some stuff up.”

   “Keep an eye on her, something’s off. Something’s been off...with you both.”

   “We’ll be fine. Relax.” Steve ran a hand into his locks and Camille gave him a nod, passing to go outside and escape the pounding music. That’s where she saw Billy again. Clad in even tighter jeans and a leather jacket with no shirt. Fingerless gloves. Terminator, she amused herself. Currently, he was hoisted upside down over the keg, easily beating Steve’s held record, while admirers around him cheered and counted. He spotted her and winked even in his position, causing her to roll her eyes and drink from her own cup.

   “Yeah!” He got upright and sprayed beer, earning more drunk cheers. Tommy was an eager lackey, egging him on and nearly shoved up his ass. “That’s how you do it, Hawkins!” He puffed a cigarette as the wild crowds hurried back to join the dancing.

   “The new keg king!” Tommy bellowed and Billy paid him no mind, crossing toward Camille leaning near the doorway. Eyes narrowing and deliberate, he stalked like a lion and she was undaunted.

   “You’re fitting in.” She commented so he blew smoke the other way. “Nice costume.”

   “And you are, ah, some kind of witch.” He gestured with his hands.

   “Stevie Nicks.” She chuckled. “As in: Fleetwood Mac. But, honestly, you’re not wrong.”

   “Think you meant, bitch. Hey, Harper.” Tommy leaned over Billy’s shoulder, wasted. “Still flying lower with Steve and Miss Perfect?”

   “Oh, Tommy. Don’t be like that,” Camille smiled with red lips splitting wide. An expression that cut. “Glad to see you and Carol still going so strong.” She stepped forward, craning her neck to see him behind Billy. A true predator. Slow and calculating. Billy couldn’t help but leer. She acted like he wasn’t even there between them. Princess played up a pout. “Do you remember when you two had that little break and you wrote me that...dirty...nasty...filthy letter. Spelling and grammar problems aside, it was…vividly detailed. Billy, you should have been around for that.” She gave his shoulder a pat and shivers ran his spine, amusement flickered his own expression. “Tommy, here, is quite the writer. I still have it, thinking of getting a chic frame. Something classy.” She gulped the rest of her cup. “Maybe, I ought to get together with Carol. Compare notes sometime. I’m sure she’d adore that.” Camille gave Tommy’s cheek a light smack and pressed her empty cup toward him until he took it. “Enjoy the party, boys. Queen’s gotta buzz.”

   “Stay away from that one,” Tommy scoffed, pushing at Billy next to him who only smiled. “Daddy’s girl. Spoiled nightmare. Total bitch.” Billy inhaled smoke again and flicked ashes in Tommy’s direction to get him off his back.

   “Rough and tumble girl.” He’d muttered more so to himself. Camille crossed to get another drink when Tommy came in boasting about their new keg king.

   “Eat it, Harrington!” Another boy joined in. Chants of Billy’s name died down when the two teens sized each other up. Steve yanked his sunglasses away. Instant disdain. Nancy rolled her eyes and turned to get away from them, crossing to the bowl of punch.

   “What’s in this one?” She leaned over to grab a cup.

   “Pure fuel!” The drunk boy on Camille’s other side donned a toga and stumbled.

   “Rat poison.” Camille was flat, sipping. "And I was so hoping for gasoline, we had rat poison at the last party." Nancy was already dunking her cup in to gulp.

   “Whoa, slow down.” Camille touched her wrist. Nancy went in for another and Steve hurried over when Camille gave him a look.

   “Take it easy, Nance. Hey...” He put his arm out and she scoffed at him, wiping the punch from her cheek.

   “We’re just being stupid teenagers for the night. Wasn’t that the deal?” She was already intoxicated after three full cups. Ruefully, she moved beyond her friends and went to join the dancing with a fourth cup.

   “I told you.” Camille pushed at Steve so he went after her. “What the hell?” She'd uttered under her breath, turning to almost run into Billy Hargrove’s bare chest. He enjoyed it a little too much.

   “Scare you?”

   “Second day in the manure fields of Hawkins and you are the new keg king. Your majesty.” She gave a mocking curtsy and shifted around him to lean against an empty doorway. The air smelled of booze and weed. Billy trailed after to light up another smoke. Intrigued, he puffed and offered it to her. A clear test. Intoxicated, Camille took it and dragged slowly, blowing air aside. “Afraid I only smoke on the rare drunken social occasion.” She offered it back with two fingers only for him to wrap his lips around it, blue eyes lingering when he inhaled. “You think you’re slick, don’t you?” Her hand pulled from him and he ghosted a smile with smoke edging between his teeth around the cigarette. Billy leaned into her space.

   “You really think I can’t get a read on you, Harpy?” He was pleasantly drunk too.

   “Harpy? That’s a new one.” Did she like it? Perhaps. “And, yes, actually. I do.”

   “Got used to all these country boys tripping over themselves. Worker bee drones. But, you know they don’t stand a chance and you love it.” He pressed his palm to the door frame behind her to shift closer. Cologne invaded her senses above the smoke. Ashes flicked. He dragged once more and snuffed it into the wall after. “They all fall down. Can’t read the queen.”

   “And you think you’re quick enough on your feet, Billy?” She watched that dear, charming smile cross his face. Hard not to melt at that. Camille trailed her eyes down his sharpened expression. His voice hushed.

   “I think that you want to find out.” He leaned into her, eyelashes fluttering. Barely inches from those full, red lips; Billy heard her utter and touch his chest.

   “Shit.” Camille came out from him to see Nancy trying to get back into the punch bowl. Billy stilled to lean out too, irritation twitched his brow. Almost had her.

   “Nancy, stop, put it down.” Steve tried to wrestle the cup from her and Nancy was accidentally splashed with a full drink. Staining her white costume.  The party stilled briefly to see the scuffle.

   “What the hell?” Nancy slapped the cup down and hurried away. Camille forgot Billy in front of her and crossed after with Steve behind her. Nancy stumbled down a hallway and tripped with her friend barely catching her.

   “Come on, I got you.”

   “I don’t need your help,” Nancy pushed off and poked her shoulder. “You can’t just...just pretend to be my friend again because you feel sorry for Barb and I.”

   “Nancy...it isn’t like that. I lost her too.” Camille stood taller. Steve drew forward as if to get between them.

   “Where were you, then? Huh? Bullshitting with...with all your cool new people. Stuffing fingers down your throat because Carol said to." It only happened twice. "Buying another cool outfit, oh, so p-popular. Impress your asshole friends. We...We killed Barb.”

   “Nancy, stop.” Steve tried to get her into the bathroom.

   “She needed us. She was always there for us and we weren’t there!” Nancy jerked away and spun on her heel to shut herself into the bathroom. Steve paused to see the girl behind him.

   “I deserved that.”

   “She drank too much. She didn’t mean it,” Steve touched her arm. “And no, you didn’t. You and I...we made some shitty choices.”

   “People were hurt because of them.” Camille offered.

   “We can do better. We are.” Steve nodded. “I need to check on her.”

   “Of course,” Camille turned and went back into the main room. Jonathan Byers crossed to see her. “Didn’t think you’d come.”

   “I didn’t either.” Jonathan stuffed his hands into his pockets. “She okay?”

   “I’m not sure anymore. Something's been… You guys are friends now, yeah?”

   “Friends, I, uh, yes. We...We’re friends.” He’d stammered.

   “Look. Have you noticed anything...off?”

   “Off?” Jonathan shrugged awkwardly. “No, just-”

   “The anniversary. Sure. Look, Jonathan, she likes you. She trusts you. Can you just...keep an eye on her?” She crossed her arms and there was a beat. “We weren’t ever friends and I was...not great to you.”

   “You let your friend smash my camera.”

   “You used that camera to take pictures of a girl undressing without her consent.” She pressed in an even tone and Jonathan dropped his head to nod. “We’re all stupid ass teenagers, right?”

   “Guess so,” Jonathan relaxed when she smiled slightly at him. Steve came barging out to pass them, leaving.

   “That isn’t good. Hey, I’m...too drunk to drive. Can you get Nancy home? She’s...not well.”

   “Yeah,” Jonathan moved to pass her. “Stay safe.”

   “You too...” She watched him go off, dropping her arms. Killed Barb. Nancy’s words. They haunted Camille the rest of that night.

** ** **

   Camille stared at her chemistry book in study hall the next day, day dreaming while she doodled along her notebook. Killed Barb. Did Nancy believe that? Did they know more about that night? Those words flashed high like stage lights across her brain. A textbook slapped down across the way and Billy Hargrove was looking at her with those intent eyes. Pleased she jumped in shock, he suppressed a laugh when the librarian hushed him.

   “Don’t think she likes me.” He muttered, still entertained.

   “Can’t imagine why.” Camille sat back, annoyed. “What?”

   “You’re avoiding me, Harpy.” He cocked his head and plopped down across from her. In the corner, they tried to stay hushed. Classic music played on low and Billy groaned to himself. “Not my fault that Strode paired us together for the project.” Camille shut her chem book and stuffed it away.

   “Easy project, we pick a book from the list. Read it. Collaborate in a paper.”

   “Pick one and sum it up for me.” He earned a silent laugh when she turned from him to peer outside at the crisp, grey day.

   “Oh no, Billy boy, you’re going to at the very least skim the book and happily contribute to our paper. You can come to my place after school today, we’ll work on it. After you drop your sister off, I guess.”

   “Max is my stepsister.” He corrected while she jotted her address down and slipped it into his hands.

   “Be there or face my perfect student wrath.”

   “Spitfire, I like it.” He leaned forward, arms crossing over the table. “You live in the rich neighborhood. Mommy and daddy going to be okay when I roll up to see their precious daughter? Oh, can’t forget the maid checking in all hours of the day.”

   “They’re both out on business and the housekeeper is off today actually.”

   “So, you’re inviting me to a big, empty house in the ritzy part of town...” He had far too many ideas.

   “To work...on a project. There’s free take-out of our choosing in the deal if you show. And that sweet face will show.” She barely spared him a glance, clearly distracted still. Billy worked to catch her gaze.

   “Worried about college when dearest dad can buy you any single one you want?”

   “No, I just like to be the best.” She leaned forward too with a sly grin. “I enjoy school and I’m not planning on staying in a fancy house in Hawkins, Indiana with a husband I’ll never see. Especially when there is a whole world out there waiting for me to explore it.”

   “Manure ain’t good enough for you now?”

   “Very funny. Hawkins is too small for me. And I have a good brain that I like to put to use. I'm wasted here.” She shrugged. “No crime in that and daddy didn’t buy me everything, I saved for my own car. Now, I think you should use study hall to...study. That chem quiz Friday is going to kick your ass.”

   “No use, I’m screwed.” He looked away and changed the subject. “What kind of take-out?”

   “Possibly a large cheese pizza.” She quirked her lips while he rubbed his jaw.

   “Hard bargain. Throw green peppers on half the pizza and I want a grand tour of your castle. You can put the royal stinger away for one night.”

   “You’re just trying to waste time, Hargrove,” her eyes narrowed. Billy bit his bottom lip, entertained with a nod. Another heart melting expression when he gave her those big, blue eyes. “Deal.” She reached out and he curled his fingers around her hand to shake it.

   "You won't regret this," his other hand covered hers to draw it out.

   "Already am." She produced that honeyed smile a final time. Billy stood with his bag gripped tight, sliding around the table to lean next to her ear.

   “I stand by what I said at the party. Just so we’re clear.” Slipping off, he disappeared behind a row of bookshelves. Camille suppressed another grin and went back to her notebook, shading in the petals of a sunflower. She imagined it in a field flooded by sunlight getting kissed by the wind. The smile broke through at the mere thought.

[luxfurem]

slam dunks this in here🎰 also lmk if u need a list of my muses, cries, i know there's a lot

this randomized ships meme. / not accepting. | @gildedscripture

lowkey this took two days, i’m not going to do this again adgjdfgfd. anygays, here are the candidates:

gildedscripture:

lisa

nemesis

ai

misa

howl

khrysophos:

Alice Longbottom.

Rheanys III Targaryen.

Harshaw.

Nikolai Lantsov.

Theodore Nott.

lisa & alice: gryffindor kids. alice is, as a matter of fact, from germany, so all i’m saying is exactly what i’m saying here. she was born in germany, went to durmstrang for a short period of time, but after her father died, her mother moved back to england and she was sorted into gryffindor belatedly. they could at the very least be friends based on having that in common, OR, you know, be a powercouple, where alice is that badass auror, and lisa… well i don’t know what she does in hp context, but we can talk about it :)))

lisa & rhaenys: honestly dunno where to start. rhaenys is my dornish dragon daughter with a determination to get back her father’s throne from the usurper. she survived the sacking of king’s landing because she was whisked away by someone. she grew up in dorne, raised by her uncles. we can totally talk about other verses! i think the two of them would totally get along because they’re both kind, easy to befriend, readily smiling, that kinda vibe? rhaenys can be ambitious and driven but she would never be unkind for no reason --- she’s much too smart to make enemies like that, anyway.

lisa & harshaw: oh man. harshaw is a silly one. he’s an etherealki, basically he controls fire. bit of a pyromaniac, but he won’t burn anyone. he just really likes fire. has a pet cat. don’t think he’d like all the dogs she has. i don’t know how well she’d handle his unusual actions? he’s not a bad guy, though. can be relied on. does she need a firemaker of sorts? he’s a simper. he’d probably simp for her, easily. powerful women make his dick inflate a little. i dunno what else to tell you.

lisa & nikolai: so? honestly? it could be either/or. nikolai OOZES confidence, like. you haven’t seen a man ooze confidence the way nik does. he’s prince-hiding-as-privateer in his own world, and in hp he is a ravenclaw who leads a guerilla movement against death eaters that’s a little different than the order. he’ll do anything for his people, really. he’d try to get into her good books, especially if she could help him in his endeavors, but he’s not cunning or underhanded about it. i think his attitude could amuse her? business partners?

lisa & theo: see. theo is… he’s a loner. when you get on his turf and he doesn’t want you there, be prepared for a volley of sarcasm or just plain closed-offness. he struggles with his asexuality and how to put it into words, and as a result is hard to befriend. his type of kindness is a sort of aloof kind. it’s simple and without comment. making sure you drink by placing a waterbottle in front of you, reminding you to take your meds, that kind of stuff. he likes kind people, so lisa would probably at the very least not bother him. friendship-wise, something sibling-y could definitely bloom if given the time and energy.

nemesis & alice: unlikely gryff/slytherin friendships? nemesis is technically older than alice, so there’s that. gosh idk where to go with them. pls help me out.

nemesis & rhaenys: uhm….. slytherin friendships! or wink-wonk-yness. they would probably get along? rhaenys is very outspoken, but to the people she thinks she can trust. nemesis would probably be one of them? could prove interesting.

nemesis & harshaw: he wants to know if she wants to pet his cat. her name is oncat. the cat is cute. maybe next up they can advance to her petting him? on his head!!!! i have no idea. he’s a bit of an oddball, say luna but with a… love for fire. 

nemesis & nikolai: nik will be sweet to her, esp if she isn’t too deeply stuck in pureblood ideals. he’s the type of person that tolerates the “nobility” bc he needs them, being prince in his own verse, but he’s very much a forger of his own path, a man of the people, and yeah… 

nemesis & theo: i mean, does she want a silent but solid presence at her side? theo’s her man. he wouldn’t bother her i suppose. also nemesis being way older i suppose would mean a different dynamic, unless we’re talking aus here? i dunno. god i’m shit at this.

ai & alice: do i think alice would contact ai for some vengeance, the cost being her own soul? hell yeah! send voldemort to hell, ai, the world will be better off. alice would be a little intimidated, but she’s a lioness so she wouldn’t let it show afgfdgd. 

ai & rhaenys: rhaenys would try to figure out a way to have ai’s type of vengeance without it costing her soul. wouldn’t work, i assume, but not for lack of her trying. they’d get along, i think? rhaenys would be kind to her.

ai & harshaw: harshaw saw she can throw fireballs and they’re instantly best friends. that’s just the way it is now. they’re pals, besties, a team. she throws the fireballs, he’ll help them along. oh hey, ai, did you know he has a cat? lmao.

ai & nikolai: first of, that rhymes. i think nikolai would find her very interesting, but wouldn’t be too interested in her services, mostly bc he’s got more than one person in his way in his verse and to sell his soul for just one when he can figure out other means to thwart them… seems useless to him.

ai & theo: they’re both closed-off people. i suppose they could get along in silent companionship. he’d be scared of her, tbh, if he knew what she was/what she does, but still, silent solidarity is a strong motivator? 

misa & alice: gryffindors! GRYFFS! alice wants to protect her tbh. she’s so sweet! i wonder if alice knows better than to see her as just dumb. that it’s an act of sorts. in any case, alice can be the butch-esque girlfriend misa is looking for, is all i’m saying.

misa & rhaenys: rhaenys would… tolerate misa, but the dumb act is lowkey getting on her nerves. still, so long as she’s not opposing rhaenys in any way, shape or form, all is good! so… so yeah, that’s the tea here. sip sip.

misa & harshaw: they’re both edgy. a little oddball-ish. does she want to see his cat? god i need to stop with that joke. anyway! uhm. they can get up to some shenanigans. he thinks she’s sweet, and cute. not his type but that sentiment goes both ways so there’s that. 

misa & nikolai: nik doesn’t have it in him to be mean to her. he’s observant enough to have a guess that she might not be so airheaded as she pretends to be, and he admires her for that. i don’t know how well they’d get along, nikolai is always busy, learning, helping. could prove to be interesting, i suppose? 

misa & theo: theo probably thinks misa is a little annoying, he doesn’t really know how to talk to her without feeling like it’s kind of empty. this could change, though, they could learn to get along. i feel like it’d take a lot of time and a lot of patience, perhaps an incident that would help them understand each other a little better, that kind of jazz. 

howl & alice: see i feel like this could either be the greatest success or the biggest disaster. howl being flamboyant versus alice who is straightforward and sassy, either they hit it off immediately or they are arguing the entire time. alice definitely wouldn’t put up with some bs, being upfront with him, but maybe he needs that?

howl & rhaenys: she’s fascinated by his magic, thinks he’s a little extra but it makes her laugh? so in a sense, that couldn’t be bad. since she’s a targ, she’s fireproof? that’s her trick. hope he likes it. oh and she has a special bond with dragons, maybe he thinks that cool, too. teach her some magic, she wants to know. for innocent reasons, no like… overthrowing usurpers, no no!

howl & harshaw: a wizard with a fire-demon versus an etherealki with a fire-obsession? what could go wrong tbh. howl will have to put up with the cat but i’m sure he’ll manage. i think they’d get along? harshaw is odd enough to catch howl off guard every now and again. maybe do keep an eye on him, though. wouldn’t want him to accidentally set a fire.

howl & nikolai: they’re both flamboyant and blonde, i feel like they might as well be the same person, except one is a wizard and the other is a prince. nik isn’t as dramatic, but he’s still kind of extra. thinks very highly of himself, always has a comeback, a backup plan. i have no idea what kind of relationship can come from this, but i feel like they’d get along, somehow. just bc they’re so similar. they could potentially trip over the fact that nik is very duty-oriented and howl avoids active duty? or the draft, rather.

howl & theo: if howl can drag theo out from behind his walls, all the power to howl tbh. either i imagine howl will be frustrated at the lack of response to his antics, or he’ll try harder? hope howl likes getting dragged fgdgd. maybe they’ll drag each other. i’d pay money for this tbh.

[lottabank]

name: evelyn charlotte banks nicknames: charlotte , lottie , lott , char , charlie , charmander , etc. but she no longer goes by evelyn in this lifetime age: twenty three physically , sixty seven biologically sexuality: panromantic / sexual pronouns: she / her , cisfemale  species: vampire sign: gemini spotify: here pinterest: here

hello moon beams and star shines , this is late but i’ve just been busy with work ! i’ve got the time to try and finish stuff now , so i’m gonna work on trying to do my daughter’s intro. if you’d like to plot feel free to hmu via tumblr im or ask for my discord bc i’ll gladly give it. i also play rune ( shadow graced human ) so yeah it’s snottie back at it again , anything you want to know about me or lottie alike hmu or just read below to find out more about my sweet serial killer vamp princess

── the high council is prepared to hear the story of EVELYN CHARLOTTE ‘ LOTTIE ‘ BANKS , a VAMPIRE while noted as a WANDERER. we might of mistaken them as MADELAINE PETSCH. appearances may be deceiving, with immortality being so common among supernaturals. this being has walked the earth for NINETY years, and their face reflects an age of TWENTY THREE they’re a CITIZEN of estonia and will be residing in TALLIN.

during their stay of the harvest they shall work by day as a STRIPPER to blend in with the mortal crowd. however, at night you might find them as AN ESCORT / ASSASSIN. they’re UNHAPPY about the harvest, however, they plan to please the high council.

PERSONALITY.

vampire beauty queen , primadonna , self-proclaimed princess. this darling girl has always loved attention , luxury , all things beautiful and transitioning to the darkness only heightened that love. so much so that she will do just about anything to satisfy her own wants or needs. lottie is ruthless , verging on sociopathic. she is delicate , but she is dangerous. she is by no means unfeeling though , nor incapable of love. she can be sweet , she can be soft , she can be pink cheeks and bright smiles just as she can be bloody lips and deranged laughter. she is genuinely kind , loving and gentle unless your death would make her happier than your being alive.  

ruling planet: mercury — the planet of communication body parts: shoulders , arms , hands element: air good day: fascinating , original , resourceful , charming , wise , adventurous bad day: restless , distracted , two-faced , judgmental , depressed , overwhelmed favorite things: cell phones , fast cars , trendy clothes , obscure music , guitars , books , clubbing least favorite things: small-minded people , dress codes , authority figures , silence , routines secret wish: to have all the answers how to spot her: mischievous twinkle in her eyes,  humming , talking with her hands where you’ll find her: taking pictures , behind the bar , in a chat room , playing devil’s advocate keywords: communication , collaboration , synergy , cleverness , wittiness , inventiveness ,  ingenuity

charlotte’s energy circulates in a quick and frenetic way , witty wordplay and dynamic dialogue are her forte. she is great for brainstorming and socializing , but craves “ twin flame ” and kindred spirit energy and is always up for an intellectual meeting of the minds. 

under the influence she can find herself with the gift of gab , talking and conversing with others for hours hopping from pop culture trends to deep political topics. beware of when she becomes a “ gossip girl , ” as she can crank up the rumor mill. as renowned dr. bernie siegel says , “ we have the ability to cure with either ‘ words ’ or kill with ‘ swords. ' ” 

the essence of charlie’s energy is fascinating , original , resourceful , charming , wise , and adventurous. some negative manifestations can devolve into more restless , distracted , two-faced , judgmental , depressed , and overwhelmed energy. 

lottie has a tendency to ride the roller coaster of life , spiraling skywards one minute and plunging into lows the next. if you can keep up with her vibes though , you’ll have one hell of a thrill !

charlotte exhibits great creative synergy , instantly connecting people to each other. always inclined to spend time with friends and focused on changing the world one idea at a time.

a little bit older and wiser , more flexible and comfortable with change than others. she can “ chameleon ” herself to fit into a variety of situations. 

can come across as clever and quick-witted , eager to dish out the juiciest pieces of news and happenings to their friends via text message and social media. in case that’s not enough , she’ll probably send you a snapchat story for good measure.

lottie loves fast cars , trendy clothes and any wacky gadgets or games they can tinker around with. part of the fun ( and curse ) of this fiery red head is that you’re never quite sure which personality you’re going to experience. will it be the vivacious , pun-dishing jokester or the snarky , mean-spirited critic ? if you’re willing to see fifty shades of crazy , she’ll color your life in thrilling ways !

BACKGROUND.

evelyn charlotte banks was born june fourth , 1930 and was given the dark gift in the early fifties ( so you’ll definitely notice some call backs to that time period ). she has grown and developed and adapted throughout time better than most , but you can take the sock hop away from the girl but not out of her. she remembers her life before , but doesn’t dwell on nor even really miss it.

she grew up in your rather classic straight lace upper middle class suburban family and community with her perfect nuclear family. the town they lived in was small , close knit , and everyone knew everyone but especially who evelyn’s family was. 

she was in a lot of pageants growing up and was even platinum blonde for most of her human life , because she was so afraid her red hair would keep her from being successful.

when she was eighteen years old with big shiny dreams of silver screens , luxury , and eyes all on her was all she could think of. she left her family and their small generational hometown in georgia for bigger , better things in none other than hollywood. 

she was on her way ,  so desperate to be in the movies and be like marilyn monroe but shortly after is when she became ensnared by darkness and evil.  she wasn’t very successful at all in the beginning so , she started wearing tighter , shinier outfits when she was on stage when suddenly she started getting actual recognition. 

she wasn’t acting like she had intended , but it turned out her voice was good enough to land her plenty of lounge singing gigs in multiple joints. it was one particularly dark , seedy , dangerous joint that only opened once the sun set completely and closed upon the sun rise that she finally started to get propositioned to do so-called ‘ film gigs. it was also in this place where she met him for the first time. 

( tw: cult ment. ) her maker is very old and before she ever knew he was anything more than a handsome older gentleman she was fully under his control. he was something of a cult leader who for the most part glamoured his ‘ followers ‘ , but that was never necessary with charlotte. she was thoroughly and completely in love with her maker , she even ‘ married ‘ him and lived on his compound.

( tw: rape ment. , assault ment. ) it wouldn’t be for a few more years that he would finally turn her ,and only after he found her brutally beaten and raped for nothing more than a snuff film. her maker found her on the verge of death and wasted no time in saving her life by bestowing his dark gift upon her. 

( tw: murder ment. ) to say that lottie felt indebted to and fell in love with her maker to the point of obsession was an understatement , she would do anything and everything he asked of her including murder not in the name of feeding.

( tw: death ment. ) the films she was in were kept in the dark underbelly of the industry and no one was none the wiser , not to mention everyone thought she was dead after her last film.

so , she eventually did make her debut in film and was even on the silver screen finally. this only lasted for as long as she could get away with not aging before eventually she disappeared off the radar with her maker. the two traveled far and wide for a long time , but eventually went their separate ways even though lottie wanted nothing of the sort her maker commanded she live her own life without him now.

( tw: murder ment. ) she has since become something of a murderer ?? she prefers to call herself an assassin but it’s rare anyone actually pays her to murder anyone. you could even call her  a serial killer if you take into account that her victims are almost always men of the unsavory variety , but she has two sides to her personality and it’s not like she’s full maniac.

ETC.

if you know what yandere means she fits that description very well , and if you don’t know what it means well:  a common term in otaku fandom , a yandere is a person ( usually female ) romantically obsessed with someone to the point of using violent means to get them in their arms. often can be seen featured with a sharp weapon and a psychotic grin.

pretty much she comes off as this sweet , lovely , beautiful woman with lots of talent but in reality she can switch that off in an instant and literally kill you without any hesitation if it benefits her or someone she loves.

anyway she has been in estonia for only a bit now , but how long is flexible. she probably likes the scenery and the supernatural presence , but she’s honestly not a country mouse at all. 

also not that she needs money , but there is very little she loves more than attention and money. she works at a club as live entertainment on occasion , singing or stripping or bartending or occasionally doing , mostly for the attention but also if she’s in need of money.

[flying-elliska]

Can't sleep bc of period cramps yikes (I feel like they've gotten worse since I started meds ? Not fun) so I'm thinking abt my labels again. (Several posts bc long.)

- Bi thing. I love it, and I feel like I am growing into it more and more. I wanna connect to my community more. Bi-specific spaces are so elusive, but whenever I managed to find them they brought me such joy. It's such an affirming thing sometimes to take this label I grew up thinking was not a real label or just a thing for vapid attention starved celebrities, and make it into something I'm proud of, and learn about the depth of the history there. I want to think more about what a bisexual sensibility entails for me, too. Like this connection to potential (omg so many hot ppl syndrome) ; the ability it has given me to look beyond how I was taught I should interact w each gender ; the freedom it has given me in realizing that I could be happy w men but I didn't need them in my life necessarily ; the realization that my patterns of attraction were much wider and stranger and fluid than I thought and this was a good thing ; the sense of peace and reconciliation it has brought between my feminine/masculine sides ; just this abiding sense of wonder and fertility and fluidity and awe for people in general that connects so well to who I am as a person ? And again I am in no way saying that those things are bi-exclusive. It's just for me they are very much rooted in this experience. I don't know why specifically but this feeling that I have the ability to be attracted to men and women and even beyond that, it makes me feel...strong. grounded. mature. Knowing this about myself is also knowing that this is a permanent thing. It's not going to change depending on who my partner is ; I am not going to stop talking about it ; I am not going to change who I am depending on who I am with. And at the same time I like knowing that I will negotiate the dynamics in my next relationship depending on who this person is, not on their gender. Like being bi is not something that people can assume when they see you w a s/o (unless you are actively w two of different gender at the same time w is pretty rare probably lmao) and so it can feel so...fleeting as an identity. But it's not because it doesn't depend on other ppl's perception. It's this delightful feeling of potential bubbling under my skin ; it's a history of people who touched my life ; and a part of myself I treasure very deeply. It's this feeling of layers, of being my own person, of connection to my past and future - a refusal of the centrality of classical linear life stories - birth school work marriage baby house death - this sense that you don't know what's coming. And that some connections can be so important even tho they're not "happy ever after" - that you don't have to define yourself in terms of who you "end up with" (such a creepy term when you thing about it. I want to begin w someone, not end lol) I connect it to my sense of compassion ; to my restless brain ; to my capacity of finding beauty in odd places and my curiosity. It's awesome.

- I do also somewhat ID as pan ? Idk this is a more recent thing. I've had ppl tell me I was pan in the past bc I do very much experience attraction regardless of gender (but it annoyed me bc I don't like ppl labelling me lol). If bi feels like a crossroads (in the sense of, you're here and there is more, there are paths around you) pan feels more like a dome, encompassing. I like the fact that calling yourself pan pretty much introduces a conversation about non-binary genders. There's something relaxing about it too like -, they haven't invented a gender I can't like yet ! Fuck what is gender anyway ! I tend to ID as bi generally bc I have more of a history w it and for simplicity. But I feel a kinship w this one, too.

- I hate that the discourse about this is so toxic so often because I would love to see spaces for bi/pan people to discuss the finer aspects of their identification because I feel a lot of it has to do w personal history and sensibility and it's very poetic. And fascinating. It's like, what dreams are hiding in there, what particular patterns of longing ? And to me those two labels broadly overlap so we should be able to nurture community together but at the same time the existence of a difference that matters to ppl is v interesting. Anyway I feel like trying to police ppl's labels too strictly is just so sterile. And boring. When you dig into it, it's brain wiring and dream matter and memories and cultural patterns and sensory stimuli and love and longing overlapping all fuzzy and complex and non-linear. I'm interested in labels for what they can do. Bring people together, evoke a feeling, express pride, bring questions to the light, make visible, provide ground for exploration. It shouldn't be an excuse to put yr brain in a jar and label it all neat and clean and leave it there.

[thoodleoo]

ridiculous ancient greek and roman pregnancies

yknow the christians act like they’ve got the monopoly on weird religious births with their fancy pregnant virgin but honestly the greeks and romans have got that shit down to an art and i just want to share with y’all some of my favorite absurb mythological pregnancies starting with the least and going to the most absurd (ymmv)

europa and the bull, aka furry level: beginner furry- zeus, seeing europa, fell in love with her (in zeus terms: wanted to bone her in the weirdest way possible). the best way he saw to do this was to turn into a beautiful bull and hang out in her herd until she noticed what a sexy bull he was. because this is greek mythology, this worked perfectly. europa climbed on his back and he carried her off and eventually revealed who he was. she later bore him three children.

pasiphae and the bull, aka furry level: full-blown fur- king minos was supposed to sacrifice a beautiful bull to poseidon. that bull was too sexy to sacrifice, though, so he kept it. this pissed poseidon off, and since the greek gods have absolutely no sense of what is ok revenge and what is weird and off-limits, he made minos’s wife pasiphae fall in love with the bull. so that she could have some raunchy bull sex, she made the inventor daedalus craft her basically an ancient fursuit so that the bull would think she was a sexy cow. she later gave birth to a dude with a bull head.

leda and the swan, aka furry level: what- zeus, seeing leda, fell in love with her but was apparently not satisfied with how weird the bull thing was. so he turned into a swan and seduced her. there are a lot of stories about this but my favorite one says that she slept with her husband tyndareus on the same night she slept with zeus and later laid two eggs, each one containing both a child of zeus and a child of tyndareus which not only shows a shocking lack of understanding about biology but also, what. apparently nobody seemed to think it very strange that leda just sort of popped out some eggs and was like well there’s my children since i can’t find any myths that say anything bad about this.

the birth of dionysus, aka the original mpreg- zeus, seeing semele, fell in love with her and thought, you know, the swan was cool but i don’t think i’m done with birds yet and i know i can up my game. so he turned into an eagle and visited her repeatedly (she was a priestess of zeus and was therefore well caught up on his weird sex antics). hera, zeus’s literal sister-wife, got really pissed about this, which, y’know, fair. so she visited semele as an old woman and befriended her. when semele told her about all the awesome eagle-sex she was getting hera was like lmao YEAH RIGHT i bet he’s not really zeus because god-sex is TOTALLY MIND-BLOWING. so semele’s like yeah well I’LL SHOW YOU and tells zeus to prove that he’s zeus and have sex with her like he would have sex with his goddess wife. zeus was like man, fuck, if i do that you’re gonna explode, but it was too late as he had sworn an oath on the river styx that he would do whatever she asked of him and not even gods will break an oath on the styx. so instead of having eagle-sex that night they have lightning-sex and semele, predictably, explodes. she happened to be pregnant with dionysus at that time but since he’s half divine i guess that’s why he doesn’t explode? instead i imagine his fetus kind of comically flies out and lands in zeus’s hands and he’s like ‘well, shit.’ zeus sews the fetus up in his thigh and a few months later, bam, thigh-baby.

the birth of servius tullius, aka i don’t even know what is going on anymore- well this ended up being the only originally roman story here but it’s a good one so i hope you will forgive me ANYWAY. so servius tullius is this cool king of rome whose mother ocrisia was a slave who became a vestal virgin, or one of the roman ladies who protected the eternal hearth of rome. in one story, she was tending to the hearth and offering a sacrifice into the flames when all of a sudden a giant levitating dick rose out of the fire. now, i’m assuming most of you would be pretty terrified if a giant levitating dick rose out of a fire and was like hey there, wanna have sex, but these are romans and they play by different rules and also giant levitating dicks were good luck to them. so yeah, ocrisia has sex with the giant levitating fire dick and gives birth to servius tullius. now, the wife of the current queen was an etruscan diviner named tanaquil, and when she found out about this, she was like bro that is SUCH AN AMAZING OMEN this kid is DESTINED FOR GREATNESS and that’s how the giant-levitating-fire-dick baby was groomed to become the next king of rome

[heyhowyadoingpally]

it’s been forever since i’ve done one of these, huh?

i figured i’d bring this little series back from the dead (pun intended) for october, but i’m not gonna be looking at one pokemon at a time - i’m gonna do mass reviews.

that’s right, i’m going to do a bunch of super quick, rapid-fire reviews of pokemon. more specifically, different pokemon types. even more specifically, three pokemon types.

i’m gonna review all - yes, all, including half-types and secondaries - the posion, dark, and ghost types, in that order. i would have thrown in one more, like bug or psychic, but i think i have enough as it is to last until halloween. although, if there’s a good enough response and, for whatever reason, a demand for either of those two types, i might do one more.

just to clarify, if a pokemon is two of the types i’ll be reviewing, i’ll be placing them in the review of their first type. i.e. if there’s a ghost/dark type, i’ll be putting it in the ghost type review.

yes, these are going to be LONG fucking posts. so sue me.

with that out of the way, let’s begin.

Spooky Halloween Special Part 1: Pure Poison

#023 - Ekans

there really isn’t much for me to say about ekans. he’s really a product of the first-gen’s shtick, which was having the first chunk of the pokemon be more like mundane wildlife than anything else. and that’s something i’m more than okay with; you need mundane wildlife to balance out shit like fire-breathing anteaters and living, floating magnets.

that being said, i adore ekans’s design. there may be a good amount of pokemon out there that are based on real-world animals, but not many of them heavily resemble the animal they’re based on.

ekan’s look is so subtle yet it just works, from the reptilian eyes to the ring around his neck(?), and even the rattle at the end of his tail. hell, i never even noticed the thin lines going all the way down its body until now! maybe they could be segments that somehow help is slither around easier? who knows!

RATING:

i love ekans, but it’s not something that i would absolutely go crazy for. i gave it the extra half-point because, again, it’s one of the cooler “realistic” pokemon, imo.

#024 - Arbok

in the simplest of words, arbok is just plain awesome.

making ekan’s next stage be a cobra just seems fitting: a pokemon as “average” as ekans definitely would evlove into something weirder than a typical snake, but not too weird. cobras are pretty weird, but not too weird. it goes hand in hand.

it’s a little sad that arbok doesn’t retain some of the subtle qualities its predecessor had, like the eyes or the big ring, but it makes up for it with the kickass hood. i’m sure like everyone knows this, but in the first few games the little design on arbok’s hood differed slightly, because they’re arboks from other regions.

RATING:

again, i love its look, but it’s not an absolute favorite.

#029 + #032 - Nidoran

i vaguely remember how awesome i thought the idea of this one pokemon with genders was. of course, now pretty much every pokemon has some minor detail that differentiates their sex.

i love their cute little faces!!! they’re like adorable little rabbit-things with poisonous barbs!

oh, yeah! they’re poison types! so poison is incorporated into their design, right?

...kiiinda?

the pokedex states that nidorans have poisonous barbs sticking out of their backs, but they don’t really look like barbs. they seem more like really dull dorsal fins or something. like, if your tried to hug one of them the most pain you’d get is an uncomfortable poke more than anything.

RATING:

a neat concept for a pokemon, but the execution of the “poison” aspect didn’t really shine through.

#030 + #033 - Nidorina and Nidorino

these two changed, and for the fucking better.

i love the idea that when certain pokemon evolve, it’s really just them maturing, and the nidos did a fantastic job with their second evo. they look a lot more dangerous, but still not quite “barb-y”. i do love how the nidorino seems to naturally crawl on all fours while nidorina stand on her hind legs. it’s those subtle little things that i like.

RATING:

tbh i really don’t have much to say about these guys that i already said about their first forms. they’re more-or-less improved versions of both nidorans.

before we continue and before you say anything, yes, i’m one of those types of people who have a hard time hating any pokemon. the worst you’ll hear from me is that i’m not a fan of certain ones, but they’re nice efforts nonetheless. plus, i have a strong affinity towards the types of pokemon we’ll be looking at, anyway, so this is more of an excuse for me to gush about cute monsters.

#088 - Grimer

GOD where do i fucking begin???

this was the starting point for when pure poison (not quite yet for the half or secondary type!) pokemon really started to take advantage of the concept of...well, posion.

basically, from here on out, i’m going to be gushing a lot about the pure poison pokemon.

if you’ve been following/have known me long enough, you’ll know that i fucking adore any sort of outlandish, blobby monster. sure, most of those kinds of monsters out there are just the same thing over and over, but for some reason i never get enough of them. hell, my favorite animal is basically just a blob with a vague body shape!

everything about grimer is just so pleasing to me: the dopey expression, the little glob of goop dripping from its lip, the nubby hands...it’s even purple, my favorite color!

not to mention the fact that grimer is literally living sludge, one of my all-time favorite concepts for a monster. probably bc i associate any kind of goop monster with swamps, and you all know how much i fucking love those. i think we need more sludge/toxic monsters in our lives. i know i do.

RATING:

let’s face it: you all saw that coming.

#089 - Muk

you know, i didn’t think there was any way that you could improve a living pile of toxic waste, but game freak proved me wrong.

muk took everything i love about grimer and somehow made it significantly better. it genuinely feels like a grimer that grew larger and nastier through years of absorbing more waste and refuse. the strand of slime connecting the “lips” is a really neat touch!

 the more serious expression on its face makes me think that it hates its own existence, like it somehow just knows that it should not be alive. it’s a sad idea, and surprisingly not the darkest ideas that the pokemon franchise has ever delved into. but we’ll probably get more into that with later entries in this series.

RATING:

grimer and muk were, for the longest time, my favorite pokemon, period. that was, of course, until a certain gen 5 creature was introduced and immediately stole my heart. but, again, that’s one of those things we’ll get to soon.

#109 - Koffing

if i had never gotten into pokemon, or even monsters in general and you tried to describe certain creatures to me, i’d think these were some of the dumbest, most batshit ideas ever put on paper. koffing sounds like a weird or dumb idea, but the way a floating orb that spews toxic gasses is presented here is so fucking original.

i’ve always found it fascinating that we associate the color purple with anything poisonous. i suppose it stems (no pun intended) back from certain toxic plants having purple coloration? idk, i’m not an expert on these things.

as a little kid, i loved koffing, which i guess goes to show that i haven’t changed since then lmao. but what’s not to like about it? that’s a face that you can never say no to. koffing wants some cash so it can go out with its friends? go ahead! it wants to have pizza for dinner tonight instead of a casserole? sure thing!!! it wants to start an underground meth lab to rake in the dough to support its family? right on!!!

i especially adore the little skull-and-crossbones on its belly(?). it’s a really neat, subtle touch that didn’t even need to be on there but works so well. i especially love that it’s not just a standard jolly roger kind of crossbones that you’ll often find on monster/creatures that’re poisonous; it’s just the vague shape that makes it really feel like an animal might be able to evolve such a strange pattern on its body, which fits the semi-grounded-in-reality feel gen 1 was trying to go for.

fun fact: some real-life animals, especially insects and arachnids, have skull-shaped patterns on their backs!

RATING:

a perfect example of a pokemon that exemplifies its type.

#110 - Weezing

weezing is either a really ingenious - yet dark - metaphor, or just a really, really cool concept. or both.

i’m probably not the first person to think of this outlandish idea, but i think weezing might be some sort of weird, “hidden message” behind koffing and, more specifically, weezing.

lets take a look at this round, adorable, little cutie: 

it’s associated with toxicity and poison

it produces a gas that’s unpleasant to inhale

it has a second “head” growing on its side (with a cute little “starting crossbone”!)

both faces look quite glum

now, what in real life relates to to these aspects? what thing or things in real life are associated with being harmful or toxic; produce a gas or gaslike substance that, when inhaled, is unpleasant; can cause those exposed to it to develop large, potentially lethal lumps inside their body; and makes people quite glum?

hmmm....i just can’t think of any real-world items that could cause such dangerous, life-altering side-effects.

jokes aside, i’m more than certain i could just be pulling this connection with tobacco out of my ass. it sounds more like one of those edgy creepypastas from back in the day than anything else.

RATING:

this is the closest i think we’ll ever get to a pokemon with a fucking tumor, and whether or not it was intentional weezing’s design reminds me of real-world issues.

(m)

(f)

#316 - Gulpin

after koffing and weezing, pure poison type pokemon were few and far between. it’s a shame, since a lot of the pokemon that are solely poison are just so damn cool, even when they don’t quite show off the “poison” aspects you’d come to expect.

at the same time, i’m glad we currently only have a few amount of pure poison types out there; it makes them feel more special, like a nice treat you’d get every-so-often.

the first pure poison pokemon (how’s that for alliteration!) to appear since gen 1 was gen 3. there was an entire generation that skipped out on having really cute babies. those were surely dark time. at least they up for that with an abundance of other cute pokemon.

that being said, the first pure poison we get after a long, dark and empty era is an absolute cutie! again, i’m a sucker for round, blobby creatures. they always just look so soft and huggable! i think if i lived in the pokemon world, gulpin would definitely be one of those critters i’d snuggle up with.

you know, i really don’t know much about gulpin other than its adorable appearance. i’d really like to find out why its a pure poison! maybe i should see what the pokedex entries from the games have to say about this little cutiepie:

o h .

RATING:

gulpin’s a really neat concept, but the idea of something small and cute that also has an insatiable appetite isn’t something entirely original, and nor is it the first time a character in nintendo followed that same idea.

(m)

(f)

#317 - Swalot

listen: i LOVE swalot. but it’s the kind of love where if i sort of bring that up in a conversation people immediately assume i love swalot because of the same reason that a good two handfuls of people do.

i’m sure you can guess why some people love swalot more than others based on both its name and its rather...erm....interesting eating habit:

i told you that pokemon can get pretty morbid.

i’m really not the sort of person who "points out” something made for kids but with some sort of “underlying fetish material”, but swalot here is one of those few things that make me raise an eyebrow just a little.

but, uh, let’s look at this big cutie in a different, more wholesome light, huh?

designwise, swalot looks fantastic. i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: i love evolutions that look like a genuine life cycle. i can see gulpin being this sort of nymph that grows over time into this huge, squishy, toxic thing with an insatiable appetite. it almost sounds like the premise of a 1950s b-movie.

even though it’s not a major change, i love the coloring. again, it gives me the impression that young gulpin’s flesh darkens with maturity into a swalot. it’s great.

a detail that i never noticed until getting the pictures for this review is that if you look verrrrry closely, both gulpin and swalot have a faint pattern all over their bodies. it reminds me of how light looks reflecting in the ocean, all broken up like that.

RATING:

potential vorebait aside, i really love swalot’s design, even moreso than gulpit.

#336 - Seviper

there aren’t as many real snake pokemon as i’d like to think, but the ones we do get are pretty rad.

while ekans and arbok have great designs and are always gonna be near and dear to my heart, they never quite felt pokemon-y to me. yes, they were in the first gen and are revered as classics, they seem just too normal to me, you know? like they were literally just purple snakes.

i’m not saying that’s a bad thing, but when you compare them to the outlandish creatures from later generations, they aren’t all that unique. i still love them to death, of course.

seviper, to me at least, looks like what you would mentally picture if someone told you that there was a snake pokemon: it retains the basic idea of a serpent, but takes some creative liberties.

idk why but i really love the eyes it has. they sort of compliment its almost-smile, like its just about to pull a harmless prank on someone and is anticipating the gag. what a smug bastard.

according to the every pokedex, seviper’s best quality is that the entire species has had an ancient rivalry zangoose, another pokemon, for years. from what i can tell, zangoose is supposed to be based off the real-life mongoose, so what we have here is the age-old battle between snakes and mongooses (mongeese?) in the pokemon universe. that’s pretty awesome. i wish they could find more ways to tie in real wildlife habits and instincts like that.

RATING:

overall a good bean with a good design.

#568 - Trubbish

ohhhhh man. ohhhhh boy oh man. we’re at my favorite evolutionary line ever. i’ll try to keep this as contained and condensed as possible.

i’m not sure what it is exactly about garbage monsters, but i adore them a lot. maybe it’s because you can get really creative with how you design the? idk.

i’m surprised it took until gen 5 to get a real trash pokemon. grimer and muk may have been associated with filth, but trubbish and garbodor are the living embodiment of garbage. like, you look at them, and you know exactly what their shtick is. 

i’ve seen a few garbage bag monster before, but trubbish is probably the absolute cutest one i’ve ever seen! look at those big, curious eyes!!!! look at that cute overbite!!!!! look at the little feet made from the bottom corners of the bag!!! it’s such a cute little baby!!!!

unfortunately, not a lot of people share that opinion. and that’s okay. because you’re allowed to have your own fucking opinions on the internet. there’s some pokemon a lot a ppl like that i’m not too crazy for, so sue me. i’ve got my little compost child and that’s okay.

RATING:

is this cheating? i don’t think it’s cheating.

#569 - Garbodor

here it is! the best fucking pokemon to have ever existed!

you might be thinking i saved garbodor till the end on purpose, but i’ve just been reviewing these by the order they appear on the pokedex. besides, there’s just one more after this, so you don’t have to suffer much longer.

GOD i love garbodor so much. everything about it is so creative and fun and cute. i’m so glad it kept the face from when it was just a trubbish. what a cutie!!!!

i love how the garbage bag is sorta draped over its body, like the bag somehow filled up with so much trash that it burst open. i also really love how both of its arms are doing their own different things. it really gives the idea that garbodor wasn’t trying form a perfect body, just a body that works. but the greatest part of this huge baby bean are those cute little pigtails!!! god bless it for looking so cute!!!!!!!

i wanna hug garbodor so badly!!! even if it smells like garbage!!!!

RATING:

i love that funky little compost

#803 - Poipole (aka UB Adhesive)

i haven’t played ultra sun or moon, so the new pokemon in that game are still...well...new to me.

one of the new ultra beasts introduced in the games, poipole has already stolen my heart and i don’t even know it that well. it’s got all of my favorite color combinations rolled into one - blues and purples and pinks!

being an ultra beast, poipole hails from ultra space, and, apparently, from a city in ultra space called ultra megalopolis. jeez, game freak sure loves using the word “ultra”.

i really can’t say much since, again, i’ve never played either of the ultra games, but i like what i do see.

i would have wrapped up this review here, but looking at the pokedex entries for it turned out to be a fucking road trip:

poipole goes from adorably-loved to a fucking sociopath.

alright, i like this cutie even more.

RATING:

for some reason, i still get surprised whenever a new pokemon game has creative and original monster. you’d think they would have blown their wad in the first few gens, but so far they haven’t done so.

that wraps up the first part of this little “review series” next time we’ll be looking at both half-poison AND secondary poison, all in the same post. how terrifying.

...i’m sincerely sorry if you had to read through all of this

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NEXT POKEFART: (it’s not out yet you dip)

[habibialkaysani]

review: an american marriage by tayari jones

SUMMARY: it’s about an african-american man, roy, and his marriage to celestial. he has a bit of an up and down relationship with her and her parents, and vice versa, but everything turns upside-down when roy is falsely accused of rape while staying at a motel with celestial. roy goes to jail and it takes several years and a lot of paperwork for him to be released. while he’s in jail, they write to each other, but they soon disconnect as a couple and celestial struggles with being his wife when they were still in their honeymoon phase when he was arrested. and it’s kind of about what happens next for her, for him and for their friend dre as well as their parents. 

TRIGGERS: rape (mostly mentions and accusations, really, absolutely nothing graphic, I don’t think) and a fair bit of violence towards the end and allusions to suicide (sorta)

TITLE: meh | okay | good | fab | amazeballs | DINAH LAUREL LANCE

ngl, this one caught me off-guard because in all honesty I was kind of not expecting it to be as real and as angsty as it ended up being. like I was super invested in these characters and their marriage and the way that it was the centre of the book. also I mean it got me thinking about the american concept of marriage and how it’s kind of very traditional in a lot of ways?

PREMISE: meh | okay | good | fab | amazeballs | PARVATI PATIL  

I love something like this - with a fairly simple premise, an unfortunate one, sure, but nevertheless one that I know is realistic esp given this is set sometime in the 1970s I think. I’ve always felt strongly about how to portray injustice in literature and that the number one priority for me is ensuring that those stories are written with authenticity and accuracy. this one certainly ticked that box. more than that, though - the premise of this was enriched with the racial and cultural history that formed a part of everything the characters said and did and was the basis for the premise of this book as one about an african-american man being accused of a crime he didn’t commit and how his family dealt with it - or didn’t.

STYLE: meh | okay | good | fab | amazeballs | SCARLET O’HARA  

I think first person can be kind of hit and miss, but this was like - 90% hit, tbh. I loved the different points of view and I think the fact that it was fairly evenly spread between the three main characters helped a lot. but I do think for those who aren’t a fan of headhopping they may hesitate in reading this because there is some of it. imo tho it’s worth it - there are some beautiful character insights that wouldn’t be able to be told, I don’t think, unless it was in first person and from that character’s perspective.

CHARACTERS: meh | okay | good | fab | amazeballs | SHUG AVERY  

I grew to care for all the characters and more importantly I think I really understood why each one did what they did at various points in the novel. again I think the authenticity from having a black author writing black characters helped with that. but also just seeing how celestial and roy, for instance, were anxious for their in-laws’ approval, and the way they all struggled with daddy issues to different degrees - it was so real and I think that’s why it resonated with me, really. plus the fact that this is set in the 1970s, I think, which is a fascinating time in american history because it’s something of a limbo I guess in the eventual aftermath of segregation finally being abolished - but it was also a time when black people faced a lot of more insidious and subtle injustice. so I cared about the characters a lot.

PLOT: meh | okay | good | fab | amazeballs | SEPHY HADLEY

I think the author did a wonderful job of spanning over a long period of time in the writing which I can say personally is something I find hard to do. and as I said, it helped that the main plot points and obstacles were pretty straightforward because it meant I could focus on the character moments. I definitely think this novel was very much character-driven, as the main character, roy, hit a roadblock, so to speak, when he went to jail, and things only made a turn when he was released. and I mean I know people are often (almost always) meh about love triangles, but they’re actually a big weakness of mine when done right and this was so done right. I love the idea of best friends with a shared history who fall for each other over years and years with a delicious kinda slowburn (I say kinda bc it’s more complicated than that) that honestly makes my heart ache.

VERDICT: meh | okay | good  | fab | amazeballs | IRIS WEST ALLEN

I think this was a beautiful book that made me sob. what hit me the hardest, I think, was that the thing that fractured what could have been a beautiful marriage the most was the systemic racism that led to roy being imprisoned in the first place. I mean it’s not like it’s the first time I’ve heard of black men being accused of various crimes they never committed. but what got me was that at no point did celestial think her husband was guilty. nor did any of roy’s family, really. it was far more about how roy drifted from his wife as an inevitable result of the distance between them physically and emotionally. 10/10 would recommend.

[chrysaliseuro2018]

Aphrodisias

Day 4 of the tour and a leisurely 9.30 start for our private trip to Aphrodisias which was recommended to us by Dougal and Genevieve. Prior to setting off we again had breakfast in the magnificent setting of the 7th floor of our hotel gazing across the whole bay before we were met by our tour guide for the day Daniel. Daniel was young with virtually perfect English and most engaging. There was a driver also who said hello but not much more and we set off for the 2 hour trip in a pretty small car though plenty of room for the 4 of us. The car was the driver's though every time we hit a mini hill he drove it like a 17 year old learner with much revving, a bit of backwards roll and crunching of the manual gearbox. A bit like my efforts with hire cars. I was wondering if it was a borrowed vehicle, not that that mattered much, except he drove like your typical Turkish driver with foot to the floor at every opportunity so always handy if you have some familiarity with the contraption. It was a couple of hour's trip and for much of it Daniel turned around in the front seat and chatted to us. He was keen to know about Australia, had travelled overseas himself and was happy to chat candidly about all sorts of topics about Turkey. The time passed quickly enough. One of the messages we got was that things are a bit tougher on the financial front for Turks compared to Aussies. While this on the face of it seemed true (though many of them seem to be fantastic entrepreneurs with great business acumen) we also did wonder if we were being softened up for a generous tip. Anyway we had an interesting, diverse and pleasant chat and really enjoyed his company. Aphrodisias is another of those ancient cities in the Troy, Pergamon mould. Evidence of occupation going back to 5000 BC but in its heyday from 1st century BC and by the 3rd century AD it was a Roman provincial capital with a population of 150,000. It was wealthy and well known for the quality of its marble. Particular highlights were the stadium which was in very good condition. Seats for 30,000 people, 270 metres long and a place to hold athletic games, chariot racing and at one end gladiatorial contests. The theatre was also in fine condition with seats for 7,000 and also a building called the Sebasteion a 3 storied temple to the deified Roman emperors which was magnificent. I Perhaps the absolute highlight though was the building we visited last which was the museum. A large collection of basically Roman sculptures of citizens, noblemen, Gods and Goddesses and a flying horse which stole the show. The quality was superb and being inside and away from the elements meant that the level of preservation was very high. We spent 45 minutes or more in there after an hour and a half of wondering around the city itself. Like all the ancient cities we had visited, Aphrodisias presented another opportunity to immerse yourself in a bygone world. The Romans given the period they were operating in and the lack of facility to me were probably the ultimate colonial power though the Ottomans later gave them a run for their money. It's amazing though as you move around Europe how many substantial Roman towns you come across. As I have mentioned before I grew up in one in England (Rochester). You know on these tours to typical ancient towns or cities that you are going to see the forum, the temples, the baths, the theatre etc but it's still a buzz cos for me it's where people hung out and did stuff. The sort of stuff many people still do today - prayed, shopped, chatted to their mates, went to the doctors etc. They did wash a bit more communally than us because the facilities at home were not that good but another great opportunity to natter. At around 2.30 with the tour over it was time for lunch.Just the 4 of us including the guide and driver. Liz and I had a fairly plain lunch. We had chicken shaslicks which were large but a little overcooked. We should have followed the direction of the locals who went for koftes which looked great. One amusing thing at lunch was that I spoke to the driver and asked him if he spoke English. He did, pretty fluently but indicated that it wasn't his job to speak so he hadn't. So after 6 hours of him being mute we realised that we had another English speaker in our midst which made me wonder if I'd made any adverse comments about his driving during the day. However after that short sentence or so he went back to being mostly mute though very amicable. Anyway did the job and around 3.30 we set off for the final leg of the tour which was a couple of hour trip to Pammukale. Daniel referred to this period as siesta time and it mostly was though we badgered him with a few more questions. If it's an interesting time across the world (and perhaps it always is) in Turkey it's very interesting. A presidential election in the offing with strong views either way on the leading candidate. The Kurdish issue. Syria. Relationships with Russia and the West. In addition as we travelled around there was a wide tolerance of different behaviours - some Turkish people drink alcohol others don't. Some women wear very or partly conservative clothing (the further away from the big cities the more conservative it would seem though in big cities also) others wear essentially western style clothing and the whole range of it. In addition there is the absolute fascination of East meets West and the confluence of cultures. It's a really interesting place. And one wonders of course how all these various areas and issues will play out if you jump forward 5 and 10 years. We still had a week to go but thought provoking discussions with Daniel and other locals we had met gave much food for thought. We arrived at our humongous hotel "the Colossae" - most aptly named which was a short distance out of the main town. Obviously an overnight stop for tourist buses as there were large numbers of Chinese and Japanese tourists. We parted company with the boys and it had been a great day. Interesting site, committed guide, we learned a lot. Would recommend the diversion though most structured tours don't go to Aphrodisias so we had to arrange a private tour. A That night was low key. Dinner was included and was buffet style but finished at 9.00. Given lunch finished after 4.00 we were not very hungry but shoved some grub down, nothing too inspiring though very friendly service from the staff. We did muse that if the current super powers US, China, Russia set the standards for the approach to eating going fwd, meals will become far more perfunctory and there will be a lot more utensil waving. Speed of consumption seems to be the goal though I am at the very boring end of that, timewise, as many lunch and dinner companions twiddling their thumbs waiting for me to finish will attest.