#this fandom needs to CHILL about hating all the “good” canon characters just because they said something one time

[shakespeare-potter]

WHAT THEY SAID!!

in defence of ginny weasley (ft fleur delacour)

never thought i would feel strongly enough about this topic to comment on it, but the ginny bashing in this fandom is just insane so i thought why the hell not. ginny seems to get hate for everything under the sun from being being a mary sue who can do no wrong in anyone’s eyes (meaning she’s boring and uninteresting as a character) to being a nasty bully responsible for hurting those around her (??? and they’re both completely contradictory statements btw). when the latter is brought up, ginny’s “terrible” mistreatment of fleur is always front and centre. ‘she’s nasty, she’s cruel, she is a jealous bully etc!’ and i just feel like we should put on our thinking caps and actually take a step back for a fucking second. people may disagree with me, but i think ginny’s reaction to fleur was totally understandable — and reminder, she is a TEENAGE girl, (not to mention both mrs weasley and hermione held fleur in the same regard but no one seems to focus on that side of things).

now in the books, we do see ginny mocking fleur, calling her ‘phlegm’ behind her back, imitating her gait and elegance, expressing her annoyance at her newfound presence in their lives.

let’s look at why she might have reacted that way. first of all, in general, we see that the w are a very humble and welcoming family; they don’t have much but what they do have, they are more than willing to share with others. their financial circumstance plays a massive role in how the characters in the wea clan react and interact with others (as seen with their refusal to accept money from harry etc). their sense of pride in that regard is also quite prevalent. we see that when harry first goes to the burrow, ron is slightly embarrassed by his home, painfully aware of the way many people in the wizarding community view/judge them. when harry goes on to say it’s best place he’s ever seen, we immediately see how touched ron is. ginny is the same in that sense — embarrassed that she has second hand robes & books etc, but at the same time she, like ron, is fiercely protective of what they do have, and what they as a family stand for. they are also very protective of people they love inside and outside of the family (see, ron with ginny, mrs weasleys with all of them etc).

this is relevant because one of the reasons ginny and in turn mrs weasley, have a problem with fleur is the way she talks to them. despite them inviting her into their home, fleur makes her distaste clear even if it is in small ways. she says it’s boring at their house as there’s nothing to do, she often talks disparagingly about how things are done in the weasley household, she loudly mocks celestina warbeck (who mrs weasley loves to play at christmas time) and insults her, she speaks badly about tonks several times etc. her words and mannerisms are also viewed by some (ginny etc) as very pretentious and arrogant — also rather posh, a sign of her family’s wealth (which might have been a sore spot for ginny also).

now don’t get me wrong. i love fleur as a character. i think she’s really cool, charming and brave, and i wish we got to see more of her honestly!! i think she makes a lovely contrast to the other younger characters, and i think she undergoes some nice character development in the books we do see her in. it’s also very clear to me, that when she acts the way she does, it is never out of malice or cruelty— it comes from a place of openness and honesty — which often comes across as quite blunt. it’s a cultural disconnect in many ways; when she inadvertently insults people throughout the books, i think it’s pretty obvious she isn’t trying to hurt anyone’s feelings. but i also think it’s obvious how this attitude might annoy those around her.

calling ginny is a big bad bully for disliking fleur (in the beginning), when her behaviour towards the weasley family would make anyone a bit frustrated, is a bit far. not to mention, her individual treatment of ginny is understandably annoying - ginny complains that fleur is very condescending when speaking to her (‘you’d think i were about three!’).

there’s also the fact that ginny is bill’s little sister. he is her favourite brother (as seen from the way she respects him and his opinions, looks up to him - she wanted to go to hogwarts ever since bill went!). ginny having a reaction to her brother’s new girlfriend is very normal - he’s her big brother! all his attention is now on his new girlfriend - who ginny finds to be full of herself, patronising & annoying. part of her may also be worried that fleur will end up breaking his heart in the end — because she’s protective of her brother.

add the fact that her brother and old crush and basically every man ever is drawn to her because of her godly beauty (as a part veela), her and bill’s wont to shower each other in public displays of affection (who wants to see their brother doing this!?) and the fact that ginny always gotten along with tonks (the person her and molly had in mind for bill’s future partner) has always treated her kindly and as an equal, and therefore would much prefer as a sister-in-law — it’s not that surprising that ginny feels the way she does towards fleur.

nevertheless, do i think this is something ginny would grow out of? yes, of course. we already see changes in their relationship in the final book. besides, a lot of this stuff is surface level, as ginny and fleur don’t know all that much about each other — i think fleur’s love for bill (especially shown in the hospital wing after he’s been attacked by greyback) definitely changes the way ginny regards her. i also like to think that they grew closer as they got older, as with age comes maturity, and with maturity comes understanding. i also feel that fleur was someone who really stepped up when it came to supporting the weasleys after fred’s death, something that ginny would have appreciated. i see them having a nice relationship later in life.

ANYWAY, this was an exceedingly long rant for which i apologise but i have often seen people talk about how nasty ginny is to fleur, and i think it’s so unfair to not look at the context which leads to her being a little frustrated at her future sister in law. plus, she is allowed to dislike someone who she does not get along with and who she finds unpleasant to be around. we all have people like that in our lives but god forbid ginny does…not to mention, ginny is never openly rude to her EVER, and she’s allowed to voice her frustrations to her friends/family. the fact people call her an outright bully for this is just insane.

people on here will defend so many other dubious characters but the second a teenage character with good intentions makes a mistake / doesn’t act perfectly (i.e ron, ginny), they are suddenly the epitome of evil in human form, i mean get a grip, honestly. also one last quick thing(!!!), i do note some people blame jkr for writing her female characters this way, as we’ve seen the way she seems to frown upon conventional/typical displays of femininity (lavender and parvati being seen as ‘silly’ girls with frivolous thoughts, cho chang as overly emotional - despite having a very rational reaction to the death of her boyfriend, fleur as overly feminine and therefore less serious/intelligent). her heroines are women who often conceal or discard these more feminine traits — and i will say that despite loving these characters very much, i do think some more nuance here, could have been very beneficial to the story, and to the message being sent to young female/female identifying readers. there is strength in femininity, and rejecting feminine traits does not make you more or less a person.

okay, rant over. if you actually got to the end, bless you, if not �� well, that’s totally fair (lol). also please don’t kill me in the comment section if you disagree. this is just my two cents. ok that’s all.

[oonajaeadira]

Nadie Espera un Milagro (No One Expects a Miracle)

Fandom: Narcos / Javier Peña

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader

Reader: Sassy, confident, American ex-pat female who finds her parents a little tedious and enjoys both her independence and her job as a high-level admin at the DEA. No physical descriptions, no use of y/n.

Rating: T

Warnings: era-”appropriate” behavior of men towards women in the workplace (but a lot better than it was, Steve and Javi are actually pretty respectful). Overbearing and slightly infantilizing parents. Author doesn’t know anything about politics or law enforcement.

Summary: When your parents come to visit you at your job in Bogotá, you figure it’s just easier to paint a picture that will put them at ease. The idea is simple. The plan is flawed. The execution is just fluff.

A/N: Written for my Year of Tropes (part of @yearofcreation2023​) Fake dating seemed like an easy trope for a busy month, which is why I chose it for February. (Whoops. Happy April!) With all of these tropes I like to challenge myself a little and I feel like the character choice alone for this one was challenge enough for me. Not only do I not know anything about politics and law enforcement, I haven’t written Javier much. And, of all the boys I do write, I feel like he’d be the least likely candidate to participate in and fall for fake dating, so I had to figure out how to make it believable for myself. Which is why there’s more plot than I intended and reader ended up with some backstory. This is season 2 Javi, obviously not canon, and maybe a bit too soft, so sue me for yearning. Yes, reader’s parents are cartoon versions of my own parents, why do you ask?

“Well hey there, sunshine,” a wisp of smoke accompanies Steve’s greeting as he leans back in his chair and crosses his long legs at the ankle to the side of his desk, leaning over momentarily to stub the cigarette out into a shared ashtray. “We don’t often get the pleasure of a visit–looks like you remember we exist.”

“Ha ha. I could say the same about you. Did you boys finally get your morals whipped into shape, or are you just over the thrill of making me break the law for you every other week?”

There’s a halt in the clack clack clack of Javier’s typewriter as he turns at the sound of your voice. Standing to reach across the desk, he scrubs out his own cigarette, makes a futile attempt to wave away the smoke, and watches you descend the stairs into their working arena. “Hey, Sully,” he smiles like a man not accustomed to it and rests his hands on the waistband of his ridiculously out-of-fashion jeans. “That’s a new dress.”

You flash him a grin and shake your head. “Stop. Don’t waste your flirting on me, Peña. You know I don’t need greasing.”

He only shifts his weight to one hip. There’s no response but a compliant tick of his jaw.

It’s second nature with Javier. He knows he’s good looking. Knows all he has to do is flash those puppy dogs and throw some attention, and ladies will give him anything he wants. You love it and hate it. Hate it because it’s insulting to be targeted for manipulation just because you’re a woman. But you love it because the man is Javier Peña and you’d be lying if you said those big brown eyes weren’t beautiful and you’re happy to have an excuse to have them pointed your way with warmth rather than the chill he reserves for the more bureaucratic workers. It’s a safe kind of crush, the kind you can play with as long as you never expect too much.

Javier’s been stopping by your office since before there was a Steve Murphy, buttering you up and asking for favors–access to a file here, a release stamp there–hell. You’ve expedited more requests on his behalf than all of the upper cabinet combined. And how many times have you distracted the clerk in tapes archives just so Javi could walk by and flash a request form without having it scrutinized for certification?

Every request starts the same, with his awkward little smile and an actual compliment. And every mission accomplished gains you a “Thanks, you’re a miracle worker.”

“Like Anne Sullivan?” you’d asked after the tenth or twentieth time.

“Huh?”

“Anne Sullivan. Hellen Keller’s teacher. The Miracle Worker.”

That caught him off guard. “Uh, yeah. Anne–?”

“Sullivan.”

“Right. I guess you’re an Anne Sullivan. I’d be lost in the dark without you.”

You’d allowed yourself to be charmed. “Careful there, Agent Peña, or you’re gonna make me rather fond of you.”

Nothing makes a grown man blush faster than to out-flirt the flirter. Not that it was hard with Javier. He was adorably miserable at it.

But it was always fun to watch him try…and to periodically beat him at his own game.

Once Steve landed in Colombia, you got two for the price of one. But Murphy knew you could see through his games and didn’t even try. It endeared you to him that he approached you sincerely. And you knew you could always do the same with him.

“As a matter of fact, it IS a new dress,” you chirp, twisting your shoulders one way and then the other, fluttering your lashes and fanning yourself with a hand in a mock display of coy preening. “My parents are flying in tonight and I’m taking them out to dinner.”

“I thought the trade conferences weren’t for a few days,” Steve frowns and shoots a concerned glance at his desk calendar.

“They’re not. But they’re coming through to spend some time with me and tour the city. Mixing business with pleasure. That’s…um…actually why I’m here. I need to cash in a favor.”

Javi chuckles as he settles back into his chair, throwing one heel and then the other onto the desktop. “Time to pay the piper. Name it.”

“Actually,” you cringe, turning to Steve, “I thought I’d ask Murphy here.”

Throwing a surprised but self-satisfied grin over at his partner, Steve puffs out his chest. “Well I guess I can be the hero for the day. Anything you need, sunshine.”

Thankfully Javi seems to feel the need to show he’s not offended and returns to his typewriter to peck out his report. Good. This is an embarrassing enough ask. You don’t really need witnesses to this.

“So, this is going to sound like a big deal but it’s really not. My relationship with my folks is just…complicated,” you assure him, priming the agent for the stupidest thing you’re ever going to ask for in your life. “It would make my and everyone’s life easier if I was seeing someone? Because then my mother wouldn’t bring it up and pressure me and irritate my father, and he wouldn’t worry about me here so much thinking I’m a woman all alone…it’s just…it’s…,” you sigh, irritated. “This is so dumb.”

Clackety clack clack ding whirr. You look up to see Steve gaping at you.

“Are you asking me to pose as your boyfriend?”

Silence. You’re sure if you turned to look over your shoulder, you’d see a frozen Javier, two fingers of each hand hanging above his typewriter like a little T-Rex.

Oh for a trapdoor or hand of god…. Suck it up. They owe you.

“Yup.”

“Uh….”

You expected this. “I’m not asking you to make a show or….they’re coming in tomorrow and I thought if you were here you could just meet them for a second. And if you’re not, I could just point to your desk–”

“Doll,” Steve releases a confused laugh, “I’m married, you know.”

“Yeah, but Connie’s not here. Like I said, they won’t delve. If I just point at a man, they’ll accept it and leave it alone.”

“So you’re going to lie to your parents.”

A confident nod is your first response. “Absolutely. And if you’d met them–when you meet them–you’ll understand why that’s best. Or you won’t. You really won’t get to talk to them long enough to find out. Just give a couple of handshakes, be nice and I’ll move them along. It’s that easy.”

Gritting his teeth, Steve gives a disbelieving shake of the head. “I dunno. I mean, the ruse won’t stand if they mention my name to anyone. Why me? Why not that new guy in the mail room who’s been watching you walk away?”

“Jimmy?” you scoff. “Yeah, no, not my type.”

“Really. Dark hair and pretty blue eyes and a six-pack he doesn’t mind showing off isn’t your type?”

“Wellllll, when you put it that way…sure he’s not your type?” Now it’s Javi’s turn to huff a silent laugh and you give him a conspiratorial smile before rounding back on Steve. “He’s dull, Murphy. My parents know me well enough that I’m not going to go for dull. So take that as a compliment. And he’s a bedpost-notcher. I don’t want to encourage that kind of behavior. I may be lacking in male companionship but I’m not that lonely. Yet.”

Your no-nonsense, shut-em-down tone quiets both of them and for a moment you think you’ve won. But his response makes it obvious you’re going to have to cash in all your chips.

“Still. There are enough single guys around here–”

“Because,” with one hand on the corner of his desk you lean in to conspire even though his partner is three feet away and can obviously hear you, “most of them are a bunch of lazy sit-abouts and you’re always out and busy. It not only paints a good picture, it’s the perfect excuse not to join us for dinner because my mother will do her best to insist. And,” you wheedle, lowering your voice further, “because you owe me.”

“I would counter that I owe you a lot more than he does.” Javi keeps his voice at a stage whisper in mockery of your own and shrugs as you and Steve swivel your gaze to him. “What.”

“Lying to the Assistant Trade Rep of the Western Hemisphere about intimate relations with his daughter sounds like a good time to you? You can have it.” Steve taps your shoulder before pointing at his partner. “He’s not hitched. Why not Javi?”

Rolling your eyes, you stall for time as you try to find a better answer than the truth, but when one doesn’t come, a sigh paves the way. “Because you dress more respectable than he does–”

“Hey.”

“--and my mother is judgy!,” your heartfelt insisting pushes through, doing your best to placate Javi–handsome Javi–who really does know how to keep the last decade’s fashion in fashion. “Javi, you’re lovely and you look good and I don’t want you to change. But my mother is going to take you for a ladies man, which you are, you know you are, and she’s going to pick apart your choices with wanton disapproval which is almost more unbearable for me than not being attached to anyone at all because then I’ll spend hours defending you for nothing–”

Steve and Javi finally break and their sudden laughter shuts you down. It’s all you can do not to give both of them the finger and a good ol’ fuck off.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Steve says through his trailing amusement, taking his turn now to placate. “Fine. We’ll make ourselves scarce and you can use the imprint of my ass in this chair as proof of warm-blooded human male. But maybe a false name, yeah? Like…Peter or…Harvey or something.”

“Harvey?” Javi scoffs. “How about Dick. Dick Bob Jones.”

“That sounds like a hillbilly name.”

“Yep.” ________

According to your mother, your apartment is “charming,” the streets of Bogotá are “interesting,” and the department headquarters are “surprisingly up to date.” In the car on the way to the office, you managed to dodge most of her questions about your personal life, dropping one-word answers before pointing out the window and explaining certain buildings or neighborhoods.

As promised, Agents Murphy and Peña are out in the field when you walk your parents past their desks on your way through to your own department. “Well,” you wave with half commitment at it and move on, “looks like he’s out doing his job and catching those bad guys. Too bad. Maybe next time.”

The crisis is momentarily averted, but while your father ducks into a nearby restroom, your mother can’t seem to let the matter pass.

“So what does he do then? He’s a cop?”

“I told you. He’s a DEA agent. He’s on the team trying to stop the drug trade from reaching the States. Have you heard of Pablo Escobar?”

She scoffs and looks past you. “Everybody has heard of Pablo Escobar, dear. That naughty man. Oh. Oh! Is that him?”

“Hmm? Escobar?” Following her gaze and turning to look back into the atrium, you’re gifted the sight of tight jeans stretching over a familiar backside and tanned arms yanking open drawers on Steve’s desk, obviously looking for something. “No, Mom, that’s just–”

But before you can correct her, she’s striding over in her Prada heels, ruffled blouse bouncing and pearls clicking, reaching forward into an eager handshake as she interrupts the very visibly hurried agent. “It’s so nice to meet you!” she chirps. “You must be Harvey!”

“Mother–!”

Javi stops digging, having found the warrant he was looking for, looking up in surprise at this forward, fussy, American woman, his lower lip hanging in a soft V, before taking her hand courteously and introducing himself, “Javi.”

“Oh, I knew I was right! The minute I saw you I knew you had to be her Harvey, you’re certainly her type.” Her hospitable countenance flickers only for a second as she takes in his tight shirt. “She says you’re quite the cop.”

“Mom, Javi’s a government agent and–” As you catch up to her, the momentary confusion on Javi’s face melts into understanding spiced with just a hint of amusement. “--and, as you can see, he’s in a hurry so–”

“It’s okay,” he beams, continuing to shake your mother’s hand. “I can take a minute to meet the woman who raised mi milagra.”

What.

Something in your brain hits the panic button and your mother chatters on to him as your backup generators whir into gear. He gives her his full attention, smiling as she babbles about how proud she and your father are of you and how nice it is that you’ve found someone to spend time with and…did he just say–

“We’ve got a lead on a collaborator and I was just ducking in to grab some paperwork,” he explains, waving the warrant in one hand. But his other hand– “What a lucky coincidence” –dips behind you– “that you happened to stop by,” –slides across your back– “because my girl here has told me so much about you,” –settles on your hip– “ma’am,” –and pulls you flush to his side.

It’s a smirk. A smirk that he has the brazen balls to grace you with then, and it’s hard to tell if he’s fucking with you or if he’s just really enjoying being your hero and sharing a joke that only the two of you know about.

And it’s equally hard to tell if you’re about to laugh or swear or….melt… he’s holding you so tightly and he smells like cigarettes and his surprisingly light cologne… his shirt is damp, your blouse is damp, it’s a humid day and you’re sticking together a bit and he wears such fitted clothes and one of his few buttons is strained enough to give you a peek at his smooth chest beneath…

“Well, if you have to go, Harvey, I don’t want to distract you from your work, but my husband is using the facilities and he’ll be sorry to have missed you. Will you be working all evening? Why don’t you come join us for dinner! You know how well my daughter cooks and she’s making her carbonara for us–”

“Mom–”

“Your carbonara?” Javi questions you before turning back to your mother and squeezing you tighter against himself, causing you to stumble closer. “I wouldn’t miss it.”

Her delight is evident. “Oh wonderful!”

“If you’ll excuse me though, my partner’s waiting. I’ll see you tonight, honeybunny.”

The world tingles a moment as a mustache and warm lips bush your temple and then you’re watching broad shoulders and slim hips swagger away from you and up the stairs.

Honey…bunny? Honeybun–

Fuck.

“Javi! Wait!” You hold up a hand as you pass your mother. “Stay here for a second, I have to…I forgot to tell him… uh…”

He stops at the top of the stairs, leaning in, anticipating your quiet brand of ire. “Your mom’s sweet.”

“I’m going to kill you.”

“What. Seems to be going well, I mean, apparently, I am your type, so it all works out. I think that performance down there earned me a dinner. I fucking love a good carbonarra.” The glare you serve him loses its bite under his soft smile lacking in any sarcasm or hazing. This is the Javi you know, the conspirator that finds you working late at night and is grateful for your help in the file room or in the microfiche lab, the one that noticed yesterday that your dress was new. Doing you a favor. What else would you expect? “If you want, I’ll wear baggier pants.”

“No, just…” you sigh. “I should give you my address–”

There’s a thing he does with his smile, something that gets you every time, a little jaw tick that comes with a quick downward bounce of the eyes and a single shake of the head. “Don’t need it. I know.”

“Okay, but…. Wait. What?” You call after him as he trots toward the door.

“I’ll come hungry!” _____

“Sir,” Javi bobs his head in reverence as he meets your father’s handshake. It’s above and beyond your requests, as is the cleanup of the five-o-clock shadow, the change to his black button up shirt, and his showing up on time. And in true commitment to the bit, he didn’t even knock, just came in and found his way to the dining area like he spends most of his time in your apartment.

“Good to meet you, Javi.”

“Dear,” your mother chirps from her watchful eye at your shoulder by the stove, “it’s Harvey.” She doubts herself. “It is Harvey, isn’t it?”

Completely disregarding your mother’s interjection, your dad gestures to a spot across from him at your modest dining table set for four and offers him a packet. “Sit down, sit down, agent. Smoke?”

“Ah,” Javi falters, and when you turn your head to your shoulder, you catch him checking in with you out of the corner of your eye. “She…doesn’t let me light up in here.”

“No? Heh. Well. I don’t know how she does it but it’s always been her way or no way. I see she’s worked her magic on you.”

“That’s for sure.”

You can’t help but smile as you give the noodles another good swirl in the pot and set the spoon on the counter. That little display just earned him a treat. Pulling out two glasses from the cabinet, you give a generous pour of the whiskey you picked up on the way home especially for him and bring them over to the table without a word for the two men.

“Thank you, sweetheart,” hums your father.

Javi glances at the glass, then up at you and your cocked eyebrow that queries him don’t I get a ‘thank you sweetheart’ from you too?

But oh, he came to play.

Ignoring the glass and taking your hand, his thumb skips across your knuckles. “You need any help, hon?”

There’s a microsecond between you where laughter is very very possible. The game is on. So you up the stakes by pushing a little curl of black hair behind his ear before trailing your fingers down to pinch his chin. “No, baby. You just relax and enjoy yourself.”

The smallest flush of pink and flash of panic that you catch on him as you turn away (only because you’re looking for it) tells you that you’ve won this round.

Back at the stove, your mother’s taken over, having drained the noodles and now attempting to pour the sauce into the noodle pot rather than your tried-and-true method of bringing the pasta to the sauce pan.

“Mom! Could you not–”

You see it coming a second too late, the sauce hasn’t thickened properly and a good portion of it misses the pot and splashes onto her blouse.

There’s commotion, a shriek and an overreaction, and you reach for a towel to catch the sauce before it stains, but the towel is dirty with spills and bacon grease and you’re both trying to keep the sauce pot from toppling off the stove. “Just…hold still, Mom, here…let me get a clean towel–”

“I’m on it,” Javi jumps up, heading down the hallway.

Great. Here’s another thing splitting your attention from timing the sauce. “Javi??” you call, “The towels are–”

“I know! The cabinet behind the door!”

How did he….doesn’t matter. The woman who raised you is in need of someone to mother her at the moment and you’re doing your best to calm her down before she causes even more of a mess. In a matter of moments, your stand-in man is back with a hand towel and you join her at the sink to help her dab it off.

“Oh, well this is just dandy,” she whines. “Now I have to sit here in a wet blouse in nice company…”

“It’s fine, Mom. You can wear one of mine.”

“The pink one or the blue? She can change in the bedroom,” Javi gestures, offering to show the way. “Ma’am?”

“Uh…the…blue….” This time you don’t have time to veil your shocked and confused expression. If Javi truly notices it as your mom swans by him, he doesn’t let on.

The rest of the evening is uneventful and pleasant, your father and Javi carrying most of the conversation as the older man drills the agent on the particulars of the cartels and Escobar’s influence with his communities, how it’s affecting customs and trade, and what that means for the conference your father is here to attend in his duty to the Trade Rep.

After a couple of hours, he makes it known that it’s time to get back to the hotel, that he has an early morning as his boss is flying in.

“Already? Dear! You boys spent all this time talking shop and I have all kinds of questions for Haaavi.”

“Well, my bride, you’re just going to have to wait to satisfy your curiosity. I’m sure it will keep.”

“Are you free for dinner tomorrow night?” Javi asks just as you take a sip of water and try your best not to choke on it. “If you’d like to try some of the local specialties, I know a place not far from here. Sancocho to die for, made fresh every day.”

The fire in your eyes is shielded, soft, but directed straight at the side of his face, hot enough that he can surely see it from his periphery if not feel the flames. The corner of his mustache rises the smallest fraction of an inch.

“That sounds a real treat, son,” your father says, rising and crushing Javi’s shoulder in a squeeze. “Tomorrow night then.”

Javi joins you at the front window when they leave so you can wave them off, having the balls to wrap his arm around your shoulder as you do. Once their car pulls away into the night though, he retracts it and ambles back to the table, gathering up a few stray plates and taking them to the sink. “Well, that went well.”

When you don’t answer, he turns to find you with a level expression and your arms folded across your chest. “What was that?”

He has the audacity to look surprised. “What?”

“We are going to address tomorrow night in a minute, but I’d love for you to explain to me why you know the location and the layout of my apartment, Agent Peña.”

Now he catches up, nodding slowly and returning to you at the window. With one hand on a hip and the other pointing to the nearest streetcorner, he explains, “Did you see that car that pulled out of there after your parents? Security. I sat in a car in that exact spot for three weeks after you were appointed to the agency. Couple days while you were at work,” he waves a hand, gesturing to the apartment as a whole, “I spent quite a few hours in here on a deep scan for taps.”

Now it’s your turn to carry the surprise. “Excuse me?”

“Standard procedure for government employees to be shadowed for a probationary period, eliminates the suspicion of inside involvement. You got a deluxe security detail treatment on top of it because…well. Your…family’s connection to Washington.”

He’s kind enough to wait for you to process this. “Wait. You mean,” peering outside at the location he indicated, noting the straight-line view into your living room, “you watched me? For three weeks???”

He turns back in search of his glass. “You dance when you’re happy. You could stand to be happy more often.” Giving you the time it takes for him to pour another finger of whiskey to stew over this, to grind through the gears of your mind and work out if you might have done anything embarrassing under the gaze of the DEA, he finally assures you, “Don’t sweat it. You’re usually a stickler for keeping your curtains closed. It was about as uneventful as a watch is possible to be.”

“So this is what they pay their agents to do? Babysit a government employee’s daughter? That seems below your pay grade.”

He downs the drink and shrugs. “I was lower on the pole back then.”

“Not that low.” But then…. The jaw tick presents itself again. His lack of eye contact confirms a sudden suspicion. “My…father paid for it.”

His nod hangs silent and sorry between you.

Independence. That’s why you took this job. Something you thought you could do on your own without your father’s help, run away from America, go live abroad and work somewhere new, somewhere exotic. How naive to think–for three years now–that you’ve done all this on your own.

The embarrassment burns.

Javi slowly runs a finger over a plate, raising a dollop of sauce to his tongue. “This is good. You’re a hell of a cook, Sully.”

It’s meant to lift your spirits, make you feel accomplished at something in your life. It’s appreciated.

“Thanks. It’s not that complicated.” Moving past him into the kitchen, you pick up your tongs from the counter and quietly start heaping half of the leftover meal into a bowl. “What’s this place you’re taking us to tomorrow? You’ve seen what a holy terror my mom is about food.”

He comes to lean against the refrigerator. “Dos Rosas Cocina.”

“I know it. Good choice. Atmosphere’s… rustic, but the food’s amazing.” Tying the bowl up in a clean towel and placing it in his hands, you sigh, all the stupid, terrible tension you didn’t know you were holding this evening seeping its way out. “I can’t believe you’re electing to spend more time on this little act.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I don’t remember thanking you, but thank you.”

“What’s this?”

“Leftovers. Lunch. Enjoy.”

“Thanks. I will.”

“You’d better.”

Later, after the dishes are done and the leftovers stowed, you curl up on the couch with the novel you’re battling your way through. But not a single page is turned. An hour goes by as you think through the interviews and steps you took to get this job, to land your working visa, to find this apartment in a nice part of town, how easy it had all seemed at the time, how accomplished you’d felt. And then there was that little look of realization and regret in Javi’s eye. That he knew. That he was the one that slipped and let you figure it out, that he never told you before. That nobody told you before. Had you come off as stupid in that moment? Innocent? Naive?

You need to confront your father about it. Probably not tomorrow, not in front of Javi. But soon.

Dammit.

You’re not getting any reading done so you turn off the light and head to bed.

Your pajamas are folded and the bed’s been meticulously remade.

Of course.

No wonder it took longer than it should have for your mother to change her blouse.

How is it you get to be a grown ass adult and your parents will never see you as anything but their little girl, even at this age?

________

“Soooooo, how’d you two meeeeet?”

Having arrived early at Dos Rosas Cocina, Javi already has a drink in him, so your mother’s question earns a contented smile. “Well–”

“At work, Mom. Obviously at work.”

It’s not a lie. It was at your desk. He needed something notarized and your new stamp hadn’t arrived yet so he wrote his direct extension on your desk pad, asked you to ring him when it did. You remember thinking that his eyes wandered too much but couldn’t be mad when you realized yours must have too if your first impression was that his pants were a good fit.

Later that night you’d come here, to the Cocina, charmed by its walls lined with picture frames full of the owner’s ancestors and descendants, how it seemed to be the center of time itself reaching backward in it’s colorful mountain-style decor and forward in its state of the art cashier’s computer and cd jukebox.

The owner had served your meal himself and sat down to chat with you, to practice his English, he said. It was a slow night and you had nowhere to be and he put you at ease right away.

“Dos Rosas,” he explained, “it means two roses. You see the sign? One red, one white. You know what it means?”

You shook your head and smiled, mouth full of some heavenly empanada.

“The red rose is for love. The white rose for friendship. Dos Rosas is a place my father made where he wanted guests to come with love and friendship.” And then he produced a single white rose, slipping it into the vase on the table. “For your luck. You are welcome here, friend. Someday you will bring someone who will share a red one with you, si?”

It had been a favorite place ever since.

Javier had been there that night too, now that you remember it. Sitting in the dim corner away from the basket lamps, nursing a beer and a plate of arepas, the curtain of his cigarette smoke nearly hiding him from view. Back then he was just the agent who needed some papers stamped and who just happened to be at the same restaurant that night.

Hindsight and new information reframes the nearly-forgotten memory now. Of course. He must have been tailing you then.

“I think,” Javi says as he drapes an arm across the back of your cane chair and leans in, “she understands where, milagra. But what she wants to know is that I couldn’t keep my eyes off you.”

Your response comes with a sweet smile that hides a challenge. “I know. You watched me for three weeks straight.”

“And then some.” He doesn’t let your jab throw him off the act. “And then there were the times I had to get into the file room for nothing in particular, just a reason to come down and talk to her.”  On the contrary, he hooks a foot around the leg of your chair and yanks it closer to his own, effectively throwing you against his chest. “She used to laugh at my flirting; made fun of me, thought I wasn’t serious.”

The clench of your stomach, the cold wave of your blood pressure dropping, every method your body has to signal and react to danger begins to take over as Javi keeps you locked from pulling away with one arm, hazy smile inches from your face, his  heavy-lidded gaze dropping to your mouth.

A warm hand folds gently over one of your own, floating it upward, his fingertips guiding your palm until he ducks his head half an inch to meet your knuckles to his lips. Big brown eyes beg at you and that cold wave rebounds now as a hot tsunami.

And all you can do is stare, stare at this display of tenderness that seems so very unlike the Javier Peña you know. Gone is the indifferent agent, the shielded ego, the preference for solitary. As his kiss lingers on your hand just a second longer than necessary, you get a glimpse behind the curtain to the man beyond. For one moment you witness a vulnerability and care, a fleeting tease of what it must be like to have his perfect attention, his devotion. It’s literally breathtaking.

And then something in him stalls, shifts, as if he notices the same in you.

Is he going to kiss you? Should you kiss him? Right here in front of your mother? Why is he so warm? What is that amazing cologne? Is his shirt unbuttoned further than usual? Is that a cymbal roll in the music coming from the jukebox or is that your blood rushing in your ears? Does he always breathe this forcibly? How have you never noticed that little crease in his bottom lip or realized just how dark his eyes were?

Just as his tongue flicks forth to wet his lips, your father returns from the phone booth in the back.

“Well, false alarm. Seems the ambassador just had some bad fish, but it’s passing. Conference is still on.”

Oblivious to your predicament and drawing your mother’s attention, he’s happy to answer her questions regarding the type of fish and how long it was prepared, and she offers her wisdom to nobody in particular as to preventing such a thing as food poisoning. Neither of them notice as you slowly twist yourself out of Javi’s loosening clutches and both of them obviously assume your hasty retreat has more to do with wanting to powder your nose than calm your racing heart.

The restroom is one small room, looking like a much older sibling to the restaurant itself as if it had been built first and the rest of the building added later. You count fifteen cracks in the wall over the solitary, rust-stained toilet before a knock falls on the door, momentarily spiking your softening anxiety. It’s an old man’s voice enquiring in Spanish if you’d fallen in.

You’re far from convinced that you’re ready to face or deny whatever’s going on in your heart. But you wash your hands–one of them still stubbornly holding the tingle of Javi’s lips and mustache against it–surrender the room, and find your way back to the table where the man who is not your boyfriend leans forward on his elbows, spinning stories for your parents.

“But we’re zeroing in on him now. He’s made more than a few mistakes and we’ve just barely caught them by turning around at the right second. It’s only a matter of time.”

A smile pulls wide over your father’s face as he leans back in his chair. “That’s what I like to hear. Damn, son. I admire your tenacity. We’re lucky we have talented young men like you down here catching the bad guys.”

“And we’re also lucky to have you here looking after our daughter,” your mother helps.

“Thanks, Mom, I can take care of myself. I mean, that is,” To one side, you feel Javi’s focus tilt your way, “as long as Dad’s willing to pay for it, I guess.”

Silence blankets the table as the waiter sets down four bowls of sancocho, a plate of flatbread, a candle, and a red rose in a vase in front of you all before hastily retreating.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

Staring at the rose and trying to sort out your thoughts, you’re not sure why you chose this moment to bring up the subject. Maybe your body is just in fight or flight mode and perhaps you’re diverting your fluster to this deep-seated frustration. Something is shaking the cage of your heart and wants out, wants to cause some damage–

–but Javi’s hand comes to a gentle rest on your knee, soothing whatever savage beast had awakened, somehow turning frustration and fear into calm strength instead.

“I know about the money, Dad. I appreciate the help, I really do. But it’s okay. You don’t have to pay anyone to babysit me and pull strings just to make my life easier here. I came to Colombia to challenge myself. I can’t do that if you’re sneaking in and slapping training wheels on me all the time.”

For a split second it looks as if he’s going to deny it, play dumb. Instead, he softens.

“Well, sweetheart, you’ll have to forgive me. Your mother and I can’t help but look out for you. It’s what we’ve done all your life. It’s a hard habit to break.”

The confirmation stings, but you can’t deny that you set yourself up for it. “Did you do the same for Kennie?”

“Your sister has a husband and a family. She doesn’t need us to look after her anymore.”

A frustration wells up inside, burning, humiliating, full of futility. It doesn’t matter what you accomplish, how many times you have to prove yourself, they’re just not going to change. They’re never going to overcome what their generation has held as truth all their lives, even past the recent wave of feminism and push for equality. They’ll never ever see you as complete unless there’s a man involved. There’s nothing you can do. There’s nothing anyone can do.

And perhaps that’s the conclusion that makes Javi’s actions feel like the only heroic course as he rubs a side hand over your back and explains, “Sir, you don’t have to worry about her. She’s capable. Thriving. She’s in no danger here. If there were any threat at all, she could hold her own. And even so, I’d do my best to make sure trouble never came near her.”

“Oh, Haaavi. You’re so good to her. She’s so lucky to have you.”

With a defensive flick of a hand, he continues. “It’s not luck, ma’am. And it’s not goodness. It’s simply part of my job. Even if she was nothing to me but another clerk that’s too smart and too bold for her position, I’m an agent first. As a U.S. citizen and employee of the DEA, I’m going to put her life before my own. With all due respect–and I’m sorry to be so blunt–but to doubt that she or any American isn’t safe here is an insult to Colombia, to me, and all government agents on a professional level.”

The hard drag of conviction in his tone. The realization on your parents’ faces. The understanding sinking in. The steadying warmth of his arm around you.

“But she doesn’t need me. She doesn’t need anyone. Most self-sufficient and confident woman I’ve ever known. I’m the lucky one; lucky she’s bored enough to keep me around. Must be for entertainment.”

Wow.

And all at once, you regret that you hadn’t taken the chance to kiss Agent Javier Peña. ________

“Are you sure you wouldn’t like a ride back to her apartment, son? It’ll be faster.”

“Thank you, sir, but I’d like to walk her home.”

Javi takes your hand in his, waving at your parents with the other, and quietly pulls you away from the car window down the dark street toward your place.

Half a minute later he’s still silent. And still holding your hand.

It feels awkward not to let go. And yet rude to do so. So you find a middle ground and squeeze instead, “Thank you. For that. Back there. I hate that I have no power to convince them of my autonomy on my own, but I think they just needed to hear it from…”

Who? A man? A government employee? A “cop”? A workaholic who is cranky most of the time because he disregards his own health and safety and refuses to sleep in his never-ending quest to quash every last cokeslinger within a thousand-mile area?

His nod and squeeze in return says he knows. “You know it’s love, right?”

Your heart trips over his words. “What?”

“Your parents love you. Doesn’t matter how old you get. Doesn’t matter how far you run. Doesn’t matter how long the flight is and how repulsive they find the local guaro, they’re gonna love you.”

In the shared laughter that follows, your hands naturally part and you double over, remembering the look on your mother’s face after tasting the aniseed liquor Javi ordered for her.

“It was so beautiful!” you crow. “She tried so hard to smile and be polite…and the tears! You could almost see the fumes pushing out of her tear ducts!!!”

“It broke my heart to do it to her, but she insisted I order for her–!”

It’s not often you see Javi laugh and smile–really smile–with unrestrained joy. Playful smirks, weary grins, the occasional shy blush perhaps, yes. But it’s not until this moment that you see him genuinely happy. It takes years off him, as if he’s shed responsibility like a coat and gone skinny-dipping into life for a minute. His eyes crinkle deeply when he truly smiles, they shine and sparkle. Like stars on this dim street.

The giggles and chuckles continue as you near your block and it’s in a resurgence of his that he casually just reaches out and takes your hand again, as if dropping it had been a little mistake that needed correcting.

And suddenly, it doesn’t feel so awkward. It should be, but it’s not. It’s like you both decided it doesn’t have to be and yet, it doesn’t have to mean anything either. If anything, a shared happiness. A familiarity.

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you.”

“Hmm?” His attention is slowly returning to the street, constantly scanning, every second a chance to gather information, find the next piece of the druglord puzzle.

“This. Being the perfect boyfriend. Having someone’s parents just think the god’s ass of you for once. Playacting chivalry.”

That last bit sobers him. “Yeah, well, at least I can put on a good show.”

There’s something in the response that rings…tired. You’ve hit on some old hurt, some buried regret. Knowing Javi, addressing it would only cause him to close off and dig it in deeper.

“Well, I’m enjoying it. I feel like I’m getting good value for all of the favors I’ve done for you and prettyboy Murphy. You’re good at this. A girl could get used to it. That story you told my mother about how we met? Let nobody tell you that you don’t go above and beyond in every way, Agent Peña.”

You can’t see the little grin that pulls at the far corner of his mouth, but you know it’s there. An eyebrow cocks. “So you’re saying my tab’s clear? I can put in a new order to the miracle worker?”

“Order up,” you laugh. “After all, now that I know Dad’s pulling strings, who’s gonna fire me? Bring your worst shenanigans!”

It doesn’t have quite the reaction you expect from him and he stops just short of the steps to your apartment building, deep grooves forming between his brows. “You know, it’s not unusual; landing any job has a lot to do with who you know. Keeping it is the part that’s all you. Even if you didn’t get it on your own, you still made it your own.” When you can’t seem to meet his eyes, his tone softens. “You’ve got a lot to be proud of here. Why did you feel like you had to perfect some image of your life by toting me around?”

Flustered, you scoff and jump at the chance to dodge the question. “I’ll have you remember that I asked Steve, not you. You’re the one that jumped at a free meal.” It doesn’t work. His stance demands an honest answer, his face says it’s required more for your sake than his. “It’s… a long story. There are checkboxes in my family… my sister got married and had kids and I never did. I never really felt it was important… or that anyone would put up with my attitude. i’m not exactly the picture of perfect wife material. I mean, of course I’d like to find someone someday, but it’s never been the main goal… but my parents–”

“I couldn’t do it,” he says. Not an agreement; an admission. Simple. “I walked away from the altar. Left her standing. It just felt like there was a responsibility there to be ‘the husband’, and–like you said, same thing–check off the boxes. I didn’t know if I could check off the same ones everyone else thought were necessary.”

It takes a moment to say anything. To move past the fact that he’s just confided a piece of his past and his personal life to you. That he’s let you in. It explains a little about why he doesn’t get close to anyone, why he prefers feminine relations without hangups. Which makes this admission very weighted and precious. You see that he trusts you not to judge. And perhaps it’s his way of letting you know that you’re not alone in dodging the tried-and-true life path.

“Everyone had expectations. You thought you couldn’t be a good husband. So you ran away to join the DEA because you knew you could do that spectacularly.”

Now it’s him that can’t look at you. “I wouldn’t say that I’m doing that well–”

“Javi.” That catches his eye. “You’re a damn good agent. I know you’re going to get the job done. Why the hell do you think I’ll jump at the chance to break every rule in the goddamn department to help you do it? Like I said. Who’s gonna fire me now if I do?” Something shifts in him, like he’s been slapped or sharply woken. As if it’s something he’s been needing to hear and didn’t have the right person to tell him. You’re suddenly honored to be that for him. He needs it. And so you gift him a little more. “Obviously you don’t have to do everything by the book to be good at something. Look at the past couple of days. Thank you for being nice to my folks. And for the encouragement. That’s all it takes sometimes, you know? You’ve been a damn good stand-in boyfriend. Your little stunts included, you asshole. That’s what made it fun. I’m sure you would have been a great husband.”

He opens his mouth to speak, but thinks better of it with a tick of his jaw. Regrouping, he gives you a pained look to say, “I’m sorry that you feel you were lied to…with the surveillance and all. And that’s how you found out. I meant what I said back there, Sully.” He swallows. “All of it.”

It’s so serious and vulnerable, an obvious effort for him to say. He’s a good man, Javi. You’ve read the reports. You’ve heard the rumors. He may keep others from getting too close, may come off as flippant and impatient or pour his focus into his work. But his moral center is pointed in the right direction and he’s the first person to discard his own needs in favor of someone else.

It’s probably what overwhelms him–caring about others but not allowing anyone to care for him–bubbles up so far that he has to visit his girls to vent it. He says they’re his informants, everyone’s heard that, but nobody buys that’s all it is. He needs to be cared for, but the money keeps him safe, keeps the lines drawn. It’s an exchange he can allow himself to make.

Something about that suddenly twists your heart. You could ask him in. You could take care of him. It’s tempting. It’s what he needs.

But you’re not sure if the inevitable fallout and distancing is what you need right now. It would be too easy to want him to stay.

It’s fine to fall in love just a little with Javier Peña, as long as you don’t expect too much.

Instead, you squeeze his hand. Big and warm and gun-callused. “I know you did. Good night, hero. Thank you.”

He lets you go, this transaction settled. Doesn’t ask anything more. As you expected. The perfect gentleman. When he puts his mind to it.

________

You’ve lost count of your yawns.

Even though you brought leftover carbonara for lunch the following day, you need to escape. There’s twice as much work with the ambassador’s conferences, more calls coming through and the agents and policia all have their regular requests. And you didn’t sleep soundly the night before; something whining at the back of your mind, like something forgotten or missed… Every form and file feels like an effort and you’re just so out of it. If your mother were to stop by and take you out to lunch–a real possibility–that would just be too much.

Half an hour in the outdoor cafeteria should help, even if it’s another hot day. Air and sunshine are usually good revitalizers. And you can hide in the crowd.

Or so you thought. Just as you’re settling in with a bowl of rice and veggies, a long shadow falls across your bench and you look up to see broad shoulders and dark hair.

But the eyes you meet are blue.

“Hi, Jimmy.”

“Well hey there. Mind if I join you?”

Without waiting for an answer he perches on the bench next to you with his sandwich and starts talking. About nothing. About the heat. How it’s hot here, how it was hot back home in Arizona but nothing like the hot here. Humidity. Dry heat. Sweat. How he once baked a cookie on the dash of a car parked in the sun. How he never understood the calculations between fahrenheit and celsius, just that one is higher and one lower. Something about mercury in thermometers.

You stop listening after a minute and just chew and smile and nod. You’re not that lonely. Yet.

There’s a little old man who sells flowers from a bucket, sets up a little stall on the sidewalk across the other end of the courtyard. He’s out here most days. He’s out here today. Carnations, chrysanthemums, birds of paradise, roses…

You should get some flowers for your desk. Something nice. Might wake you up a little. You watch absently as the flower man speaks to someone in a tan shirt. A man with dark hair like so many others here. He looks like Javi from the back.

You’d rather not think about Javi’s back. Or front. Or deep brown eyes.

So you listen to Jimmy ramble for a while before he finally asks you a question.

“Don’t you think it’s hot?”

“Yeah, Jimmy. It’s hot.” _______

“I’ll take one red and one white, por favor.”

The little old flower man’s smile is even warmer up close.

On your way back into the office you muse that you’ll put the roses in a vase and let them decide for you, depending on which one lasts longer. Do you really feel the need to entertain the possibility of infatuation? Or can you be content with the easy friendship you have?

But upon arriving at your desk, you find that your little bouquet will be unbalanced and one of the two choices will have twice the advantage.

There’s already a red rose laying on the credenza.

Next to a bowl that held carbonara leftovers when last you saw it.

And a note. Fast scratches on a torn piece of yellow steno paper. Probably from the ripped piece on your desk. Next to your pen.

“I meant all of it, Sully.”

Suddenly the clack of keyboards and whine of printers and ring of phones fades away. You lift the little note to read it again. “All of it.” As if the words aren’t enough, as if you need more empirical evidence–or maybe because it was with the flower–for some odd reason you bring it close to your nose only to confirm what you knew you’d smell there.

Rose. And cigarettes.

All of it? That’s the last thing he said last night. I meant what I said back there, Sully. All of it.

It had been a heartening thing to hear, reinforcing how he would protect and serve, how he thought you were competent and confident, but why remind you now–

Oh.

Oh. Not just that part.

All of it.

“I couldn’t keep my eyes off her. And then there were the times I had to get into the file room for nothing in particular, just a reason to come down and talk to her. She used to laugh at my flirting; made fun of me, thought I wasn’t serious.”

Suddenly you understand what was keeping you awake last night.

The look on his face as he stood by your steps. The way he rethought the words before he spoke. It wasn’t easy for him. He tried to tell you and you just…

All of it.

You just thanked him and walked away.

He’s been…this whole time…he’s…

“Darling?”

Yanked from one confusion to another, you turn to find your mother rounding your desk–even though you told her not to, that only government officials are supposed to be around your files–coming to take your hand.

“Your father and I are going on a tour of the city with the Representative. I dropped by to see if you’d like to join us.”

“Hi Mom. No… no, thanks. I’m…swamped today. I’m sorry.”

She coos, worriedly. “Are you alright? You seem tired. Those are pretty…”

Blinking down at the roses in your hand and stepping slightly to the side to shield her view of the third on your credenza, you agree, “Yeah, just tired today. It’s the heat. Here,” handing her the flowers, you smile. “The red one is for you. Please give the white one to the Representative’s wife. I hope you have a nice tour.”

“Oh. Thank you, dear…but…how did you know I was coming?”

“I didn’t. There’s a nice old man who sells them. Sometimes I buy some to cheer up my desk.”

“You’re buying your own flowers? We should stop by Haavi’s desk and tell him he needs to do that for you.”

“Oh. No need. He does.”

Once she’s on her way, you swing out to the atrium, but find Steve and Javi’s desks unoccupied. There was talk of a situation on the east side of the old town, no doubt the whole department will be out most of the afternoon.

Good. Maybe you can get some work done.

Still carrying the note, you flip it over on Javi’s desk and scribble five words with the same pen–

You know where I live.

–tuck it under his typewriter with just the tiniest corner sticking out, and head for the coffee room. One cup and three more work hours should shrink that stack of paperwork on your desk.

If you can just shut it all out and concentrate.

And try not to expect too much. ________

The door to your apartment is unlocked when you get home. Well, he certainly jumped at your note.

It shouldn’t surprise you. There’s got to be department keys in some file somewhere. After all, how could he have done all that snooping around when you first got the job?

Dropping your bag and keys on the table in the hall, you head for the main room. “Javi? You here?”

Heart ramming against your ribcage, you emerge into the apartment…

…and find your parents seated at your dining table. Waiting.

“Mom. Dad. How…how did you get in?”

“Your father talked to the landlord. It wasn’t difficult, dear. We wanted a word.” Even though there’s an endearment, your mother’s tone is anything but.

“Okay. That’s kind of excessive. You could have just swung by my desk, you know where I–”

“This is a more delicate matter and we thought you might appreciate the privacy,” your father grumbles. “Sit down, sweetheart.”

There are two things on the table. Your mother’s purse, and a box of tissues. Not the brand you own. Provided for.

“I don’t think I will. What’s going on?”

They share a glance, a starting gesture as if to choose who will begin, even though it was always going to be your mom.

“We had a very nice tour of the city today. We saw the opera house and the capital. It’s a beautiful city. You must really like it here–”

“Representative wanted to go into some of the deeper parts of the city,” your father interrupts, already going off book it seems, “to see the neighborhoods that really reflect the majority economy, get a feel for the true people of Colombia.”

What’s this all about. There’s a silence. Of course there is. They’re waiting for you to prod them. “The old town. I know it. It can get rough, but mainly only if you’re already involved in something shady.”

“Well, there’s plenty that’s shady there, I’ll tell you.” Your mother’s nose lifts more than slightly. “Did you know that it’s crawling with brothels?”

“I do, actually. There are a lot of women who don’t have any other way–”

“Well, Haavi certainly knows about those brothels. We saw him coming out of one today.”

Oh. Shit.

Wait. What?

Fuck.

Your mother continues, something about being sorry to be the one to tell you, something about your heart and how it must be breaking, how it’s hard to be lied to….

The tissues sit on the table, a pretty pink box with daisies on it. They expect you to break down. Cry. How good of an actor are you?

“...and if you want to come home for a while, you know you are always welcome–”

Not good enough.

“Javi’s not my boyfriend, Mom.”

The silence that follows is thick, it mingles with the humidity, curdles it like cream in the air. You let it sit until it sours.

“He posed for me so you wouldn’t worry about me here. Like you always do. As if I could never make it on my own without someone.” Their shock sustains. The quieter they become, the easier it gets. “And Javi went along with it because he works with me. Day in and day out. If anyone ever thought I was in danger here, or couldn’t hack the agency, he’d be the first to say so. And I trust him.” Your mother opens her mouth to run her tongue, but you cut her off at the pass. “I trust that man. Yes, you saw him coming out of a brothel, but I’m not his girlfriend and he’s there for his job. Those women sleep with the people Javi’s trying to catch. It’s a brilliant tactic, actually. And they trust him too. Because he is good to them. He’s a good man; one of the best I know and deserves respect. He takes care of them and protects them as much as he would anyone else. You should have seen what he did for this girl Helena–”

It’s here that you notice something out of the corner of your eye and turn to find Javi standing silent in the hallway, still close enough to the door that your parents can’t see him around the corner into the room. But you can. Wide eyes. That tight fitting tan shirt. Slightly off balance as if he came to a stop immediately at the knowledge of walking in on something.

Why do you feel….caught?

“Anyway,” turning back to your parents with a sigh, “I appreciate your concern. But you don’t have to be. Not about him, not about me, not about anything. I’m sorry I lied. It just seemed…easier. Because you have never just believed I was fine. I’m fine. I’m more than fine. Like Javi said the other night, I’m thriving here. Even if he was posing, everything he said was true…”

But if everything he said was true…

A glance to the hallway finds it empty again. Even if the door is slightly ajar.

“Well. You can’t blame us for wanting the best for you, sweetheart. You’re never going to stop being our daughter.”

“I know, Dad. You keep saying that. It’s right there on my birth certificate.”

“There’s no shame in accepting help if it’s given freely and if it helps you achieve a goal.”

“I understand that, but I really wish you’d told me about it rather than let me think I did it all on my own. Do you understand how that feels? To be lied to?”

Your mother huffs. “I do now.”

Thank god for office coffee. Without the edge taken off of your exhaustion, you might have had more bite. But for now, you’ve said what was necessary and you’re not up for a fight or managing their feelings; you have enough of your own to sort out. If they care about you as much as they say they do, they’ll let what you’ve said sink in and not push the matter.

“Are you flying out tomorrow morning or afternoon?”

“Tomorrow morning, sweetheart.”

You nod and move into the kitchen. Seems they do care. You have to give them credit. “Okay. Do you want some dinner? I’ve got leftovers.”

“We have a dinner scheduled with the ambassador.”

“Well good. I’ve had a long day and I’m really tired. I probably wouldn’t be good company anyway. You’re coming back in for the trade agreements in January?”

“Yes, dear.”

“Good. I’ll get to see you for a whole week then.” The sad smiles you exchange with them signal that everything’s going to be okay. For now.

There are hugs and kisses, a wish for safe travels and a promise to call in the coming days. Your mother apologizes loudly for cleaning your bathroom mirror. Your father apologizes softly for your mother’s volume. This time, you walk them all the way out to the street.

Your mother’s halfway to the car when your father doubles back, digging in his pocket, just barely remembering to give you the key he got from the landlord.

Or maybe he didn’t really forget.

“Your mother and I are proud of you, sweetheart. I’m sorry if we gave the impression that we weren’t.”

“Thanks, Dad. It’s good to hear.”

“I should have said it sooner.” He hovers as your mother gets into the car. “You tell Javi that it was nice to meet him. And that we’re proud of the work he’s doing here too.”

There’s something in the way he tells you this. Another apology. Or a knowing. You’ve never been sure with Dad.

“I will.”

As they pull away, waving, your plan is to go collapse on your couch and just be alone for a minute.

As you come back into your apartment, you have to amend that plan to collapsing on your couch next to Javier Peña.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“You heard all of that?”

He doesn’t answer the question. You sink in, lean back, let your eyes close. He sighs.

“You mind if I smoke?”

“I do, actually. You know I do. And I don’t have an ashtray. There’s still some whiskey if you want though. Knock yourself out.”

The couch shifts a bit as he gets up. The pop of cabinet doors. The clink of ice against glass. After a few seconds, the couch shifts again and a cool tumbler slides gently against your hand.

You open your eyes to ice water.

“Thanks.” You take a long drink, not knowing what to say. “I didn’t sleep well last night.”

“I never do. Bed’s too big. Sleep better when I’m not alone.” When you look him in the eye, he knows enough not to turn away. “One of the girls was called into one of Escobar’s regular haunts. Didn’t see him, but got a good look at some clients he’s courting. It was info worth delivering a retainer. And a final thanks.”

You do your best to keep your hope from shining through your cracks. “Final thanks?”

“Yeah. For all the…help in the past couple of years. Told them there’s a woman I’d like to spend some time with. Get to know better.”

The sly smile spreading across your face will not be contained. “Really. You told your informants that you were shoving off to the boring world of dating.”

“No. But I did let them know that if there’s a next time I darken their door, I won’t be in a very good mood. I don’t have a Jimmy to turn to if this doesn’t work.”

“Oh. So that was you today in the courtyard. That’s what inspired this? You jealous of Jimmy?”

“Nothing to be jealous of. He’s not your type. But. It might have sped up the process.” When you don’t laugh at that, he sighs. “Listen. I’m not good at this.”

“Yes, you are, I told you that you arrrre,” you yawn and go after another sip. “But I’m the one who’s going to be cranky and crap at it unless I take a nap. I’m sorry. It’s been a day.”

“Can I join you?” His dark eyes search yours as you empty the tumbler.

There’s something like a hope there. And something else, not quite an apology, not quite yearning, a worry that he’s going to do this right or die trying and he waited far too long to start.

Like he’s fighting the urge to expect too much.

“I said a nap, Peña.”

“Good. We were called in early. I could use it.”

It comes naturally. A smile. A matching smile. A whispered okay. He leans forward and slowly, softly, presses his lips to yours. Lingers a moment. Traces your nose–one side then the other–with his own.

“And what happens when we wake up?” you ask quietly in the space between you, in the space before the next slow, lingering kiss.

Javi stands, wraps three fingers around your glass and lifts it gracefully out of your grasp. Setting it on the end table, he reaches for your hand to help you up. “This is technically the third date, isn’t it? We could just…check off the usual boxes.”

“I think we established that I don’t especially love to do everything by somebody else’s rulebook.” Using the inertia of you coming off the couch to pull you straight into his arms and into a deeper kiss--one full of holding breath and clutching fingers--he chases it with a nip to your lip, which coaxes a chuckle. “But I’m open to actually following some rules for once. Especially the good ones.”

“Good. I think it’s time I worked you a miracle or two.”

“Pretty sure of yourself, aren’t you. Well, lead the way. You obviously know where the bedroom is…”

He smirks, guiding you by the hand. “I’ll give you the tour.”

________

MASTERLIST

CHARACTER MASTERLIST

[dr-spectre]

As someone who's been in multiple fandom circles and calls themselves a Splatoon fan, I've seen a lot of focus and discussion on "THE LORE!!" and "CANON!!!" and to be honest with you... it's getting really tiring and I think people are just WAY TOO obsessed with what a wiki or an intern at Nintendo says rather than forming their own perspective on events and coming to their own unique conclusions.

Now, I wanna say, if talking about lore and discussing which elements are canon or not makes you happy and you love talking about that, then that's perfectly okay. It's fine. It's not for ME personally because my focus on Splatoon is the gameplay, music and the storytelling chops of each Hero Mode.

Story >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Canon for me any day of the week i do not care.

Because, to get away from Splatoon for a second, for my Sonic fans out there, you remember when Sega and the people behind the show Sonic Prime said that it was canon to the mainline Sonic timeline? And if you said otherwise you were technically wrong because "oh Sega said this, so it MUST be true!"

........But then everyone said that Sonic Prime cannot be canon to the mainline Sonic timeline because it has a fuck ton of inconsistencies? Yeah.... funny. Basically, don't put a lot of focus into "what actually happened" and "oh this is what the multi billion dollar corporation said!" because there's always gonna be one guy out there that goes "um this information kinda fucking damages the story in a severe way." (And sometimes that one guy is me.... hehehehe....)

I could obviously talk about.... you know.... Hypno Callie again for the 50th trillion time.... (and i will)..... This bitch.... I wanna love you girlie i really fucking do but Nintendo and millions of people make it hard to....

Nintendo set up Callie's villain arc decently in Splatoon 1 with the Splatfest dialogue, the Squid Sister stories and the Sunken Scrolls, yet they ultimately damaged the progression of the arc by saying "nah fuck u she got kidnapped and brainwashed, removing all of her memories and free will because fuck telling a good story with satisfying set up and pay off that allows for character growth. Fundamentals of storytelling? What are those?" And it also destroyed Callie as a character by reducing her to an object that the player "must save from da evil Octavioooo" and "oh look at her! She put the stupid brainwashing shades onnn againnn!! such a dumb fucking moron dumbass piece of shit right guys?!? lmaoooooooooo!! explore the dangers of addiction and how you need to seriously change your life and be surrounded by those you love in order to change bad habits?? Themes?? PFFTTT! NAWWW! THAT'S LAMEEEE!! It's Callie! No one cares about Callie!! She's stupiddd!!!"

(I talked about Callie in a tumblr comment section one time and I got made fun of for by a guy way older than me. I love humanity.)

It also ruined DJ Octavio's character too because, if what Nintendo said is true about what he did then he cannot be redeemed in Splatoon 3. He cannot go back on the shit he's done. But they try to redeem him out of nowhere and now he's all chill with the New Squidbeak Splatoon and appeared in the Grand Fest.... Yet what he did to Callie which Nintendo loves to push is truly TRULY unredeemable and if that's the case then welp.... I call that bad writing, straight up. It's bad writing.

I really hate it when something happens in a story and you perceive it in a certain way where you feel like it elevates the events, but then the company behind the story chooses to pick the worst outcomes possible just because? And everyone rolls with it just cause? Ugh...

Lesson of today is, don't fucking listen obsessively to what a company says and suck it up. Consume media and come to your own conclusions on what happened. As long as you have tangible evidence to back up your claims you can make any interpretation you want to, whatever makes you feel happy bestie!

[scarlet-moonlight]

This is gonna be a LONG ass post but

I got around to watching Arcane s1 (I watched s2 without finishing s1 because I didn't want to worry about getting spoiled for all the stuff that will inevitably flood the league tags so I just said fuck it, I did know a little bit about what happened during s1) and now that I did, I think I like s2...less?

Like I thought I was confused while watching s2 because I skipped s1 so I might not have known about what was happening (And I did on some, like I didn't know Silco and Vander were close at one point when I saw the flashback with them and Felicia, or that Singed used to be a mentor for Viktor) but..no. Looking at s1 then back at s2 it really does feel night and day. I think the problem is that s1 is great in how down-to earth and realistic the world, the characters and problems they have, but then in s2, suddenly everything became so much more..bigger. And not in a good way. suddenly everything became so much more bloated with too many characters, conflicts that started/showed up that they needed to end in the same season cause they had to make it 2 seasons even though it could've benefitted from another one or at least anotehr act. The animation is great, the music is great, but even that just feels like well.. spectacle for the sake of it. Especially when it comes to the music, because compared to s1 and s2, s2 is just too music heavy. And I was watching s1 with my sister (who is blind reacting to all of arcane from the start) and I feel like if we finish s1 and get to s2 she might not think of it as good as s1 for the same reasons.

MORE IMPORTANTLY THO I realize how oddly ooc Jayce became from s1 to s2, mostly for his relationship between him and Mel that got sidelined in s2 for viktor. And apparently that was intended by the writers because they liked jayvik more (I used to watch Star vs the forces of evil so this is giving me serious flashbacks to the writers hell that became) Yes Jayce and Mel started off as more or less fuck buddies but there were scenes that showed that they cared about each other that they just..kinda threw away in favor of Jayik. I don't hate jayvik and I liked the memes and all but I also dont like just sidelining a woman (A black, woman no less) in favor of a yaoi ship in the grand year of 2024. Like knowing their relationship in s1 it makes me realize how ooc Jayce and Mel were acting towards each other in s2. I don’t care if they ended up canon or not, but they just acted toxic and indifferent to each other for no reason when they did have scwnes in s1 that showed they cared about each other and now I think they just did this just so they could make Jayvik look better and because of how Mel was done dirty despite me loving her character I am now actively going to ship Meljay out of spite (Also fuck you they both look sexy) (and I also like Viktor by himself away from Jayce, preferably him in s1 because of how cute he was and I want to keep him for myself)

For any arcane only fans, I happen to be a selfship/yumeship blog who's favorite charater happens to be in a really popular yaoi ship (made partially implied by canon and making him all thats ever used for when theres so much else that they can do with his lore instead of just making him an accessory to please fandom, huh doesn't that sound familar?) and I know people would hate on me for also being a girl "getting in the way" if i was in any other part of league fandom (at least tumblr is pretty chill) so don't worry we're at two for two here

Again, I like s2, I think they've done a great job but knowing what happened in s1 and then seeing s2 it just made me feel like there was so much missed potential outside of the already confusing plots and pacing issues I experienced on my first watching

and ykw Im gonna repeat what I said in a previous post in that; fuck yall, I wanted the Mel being pregnant rumors to be true just to spite yall (and that the kid would be Rell)

[mortuary-maggots]

HIYA SO THIS IS KASPER (ik its spelled diff in the pics i only changed it recently :sob:) he's my creepypasta oc :D usually he wears like average blue jeans and a brown/green shtriped turtleneck like in the last image kinda ? and green converse with like beads or drawings on them :D personality: Hates physical contact unless he initiates or very much trusts you, in which case he's always finding little ways to have contact; brushing their hand, tail wrapped around their wrist, hand on shoulder, bumping shoulders, ect. he cant get enough of it. Also just generally dislikes people (that he doesnt know/isnt comfy with) but can mask his hate pretty well and gives respect (with a side of sarcasm) where respect is due. Harsh and truthful, will not be afraid to get in your face and tell you how shit is as he sees it or just straight up insult you. If he's chill with you, he'll be pretty playful or sarcastic but can be ticked off or triggered somewhat easily. When he's on his own he's usually pretty relaxed and creative, a lot less prickly than when he's around people. he's pretty energetic and a bit of a trickster, a huge fan of pranks, he's a sarcasm lord and honestly pretty fun to be around if you can match his energy and keep up with his quips and jokes. if not, you're bound to get tired of him quick. he CAN be serious, but mostly only if he's in a fight and losing or if he's pissed off about something, in which he tends to lash out and say literally whatever he's thinking, be it brutal honesty about how he feels in the moment, how he thinks of someone or just random phrases and words that fly across his mind. any other time would be if he was comforting someone, in which case he turns into a big ole lovebug and does whatever he can to make them feel better. despite being such a yapper all the time he's a great listener too, and gives some pretty solid advice when he can. he canonically has a whole slew of issues including ptsd, anxiety, depression, autism, AND derealization/dissociation, coupled along with experiencing hallucinations, which is part of the reason that before he joined the mansion he was extremely wary of slenderman, less so because he was SLENDERMAN but moreso because he thought he was simply another hallucination. his backstory is located here , and while i need to adjust the writing bc i did it when i was like half sleep deprived its still accurate to his character. he is a cannibal and experiences blackouts if he goes too long without feeding, which send him into a basically unreachable state of rage and hunger. he's.. basically decimated a town or two thanks to this, because when he first realised he had to eat human meat to sustain himself he really didnt want to all that much and tried to avoid it until he realised just how dangerous that was. ANYWAYS YEAH i hope this wasnt too much to read and I HOPE YOU LIKE HIM i made him like right after i joined the fandom and hes probably not all that great in the grand scheme of things but i like him and hes my son and resides in a snowglobe where i shake him around for fun sometimes THATS ALL I HOPE UR DAYS GOING SUPER GOOD

I hope I did him justice!!!

[joannerowling]

funny that she would say "Tell me something about Dean. You can't, can you? He had no backstory," when Dean gets the most characterization out of all the Gryffindors (minus the trio + Neville). we don't know much about Seamus, besides that he loves Quidditch, that he isn't brilliant at school, that his mom is annoying and that he seems to like confrontation. that's very basic info. we don't know much about Parvati and Lavender besides that they are pretty girly, love divination, are interested in boys (and that Lavender had a bunny). i don't think we know much about both of them individually either (but that's okay because they are kind of like a codependent female duo, every school has those). but DEAN? he loves football, he is a good drawer, he is good at quidditch, but he is also a fierce fighter and has no hesitation standing up to people like Umbridge when she insults Lupin. like, come on, there is a reason why ginny choses to date him and there's a reason why Harry hates him so much -- Dean is the archetype of the nice, popular boy made up in a lab for Harry to be jealous about! he is the Gryffindor version of Cedric, in that sense. "We don't know much about Dean" he literally gets more "screentime" than every other Gryffindor (minus the trio + Neville). Dean was in the Malfoy's manor. Dean was on the run with the goblins and Ted in DH, we literally get a scene where the trio overhears him and it's such a poignant and moving scene!! Dean was at Bill and Fleur's cottage. Dean was Ginny's boyfriend. Dean was on the Quidditch team. Dean was in the AD. Dean was literally the most relevant secondary character in ootp, hbp and dh (as far as the Gryffindors are concerned). Not to mention that he has a fully fleshed out backstory - his dad was killed for refusing to join Voldemort and Dean was raised thinking he was a muggle but he finds out it's not true (we actually do get to hear some echo of this backstory in that DH scene when the trio overhears him talking to the goblins and Ted).

"He had no backstory, I don't think we even met his parents, he was just "Seamus' nicer friend"." this is projection. this is not how Dean is treated in canon, but this is how Dean is treated by the fandom. the fandom constantly overlooks Dean and ruined his characterization to make him look like Seamus' nice friend when he actually has a personality of his own and is more interesting as a character than Seamus. now, as a former Popular Deamus Blogger, i can tell you the reasons why the fandom prefers seamus over dean sooo much is a bit suspicious but i don't want to wave around the racism allegations.... but they do constantly uwu-ify Dean and reduce him to Seamus' friend while Seamus receives significantly more attention from the fandom. canon doesn't justify this, if we were to follow canon, then Dean would be the one getting more attention and fanfictions than Seamus. (Dean also has great potential for fanfictions as you can also ship him with Luna) Anyway, all this to say that this woman probably forgot all about the books and is going on a whim about fanon characterization. I'm mad she turned off reblogs because I was ready to go out of my HP blogging retirement to defend my lord and savior Dean Thomas, the best background character in HP

Girl!! In the name of all Rowlingblr, i would like to appoint you head of the Dean Thomas fanclub. That was some good fangirling.

I didn't know that Dean was currently or in some fandom spaces LESS popular than Seamus. I always thought the opposite was true! Seamus is kind of annoying and confrontational in canon. Dean is way cooler and could have been the hero of his own story. Dean x Luna had its hour of glory circa 2007 (post DH release), it was definitely a guilty pleasure of mine.

I think people who get all up Jo's ass about Lavender and Parvati being kind of vapid and annoying need to take a chill pill. It's not like they're on Pansy's level of mean and hateful, they're just not heroines. God forbid a story imply that focusing on gossip, fashion and horoscopes might not make you a role model.

[phightinghottakes]

Ik there is alot of good art for Phighting out there but please I beg for less sexualised art of various characters and also ig slightly less ship art

Like no, I do not want to see Vinesplash with exposed nips and no, I do not want to see Banhammer twerking at me and no, I don't want to see each Phighter sticking out their foot in my face.

I mean ship art is okay but normal relationships exists too, I don't want to see 90% of art having 2 characters be them kissing or doing some suggestive because "quirky couple"

Like bro I just want some normal character art where I get to learn about the character without words and how they interact with each other outside of a romantic relationship (maybe like how each of the Thieves Den gang walk and talk while carrying groceries back to Slingshot's bakery, posture and simple dialogue can be everything)

Same thing when it comes for like commenting like I DO NOT NEED TO KNOW WHAT IS YOUR HEADCANONS FOR EACH CHARACTER'S I'm not even going to finish it, just know it's related to a certain part of the body of a demon that does not canonically exist and its honestly disgusting and nobody wants to know such information

I'm also looking at you, angst, yes the world of Phighting may be more violent than our world, but it can't all be pain or the lovey dovies, quiet moments exists too, and in a chaotic environment full of noise, silence and the enjoyment of simple things speak the loudest.

How characters are shown in such peace, and how they react to changes, even the most minor, is what makes them feel alive and real.

Ill also take the time here to quickly drop how I dislike the fandom for letting more popular people get away with things that they would've otherwise criticise less popular people

When making a mean comment to another person (or even valid criticism)

Popular: Funny, relatable

Unpopular: Jealous, Cruel

When drawing questionable stuff

Popular: Amazing, beautiful

Unpopular: Disgusting, foul

When calling somebody out

Popular: Support, defenders

Unpopular: Attacked, hated

Idk if the list above is accurate, but its based on what I have observed (and personal experience)

By the way most of these points that I had stated is mostly stuff I had observed on Twitter so I hope that here on Tumblr the community is more chill. In general I pray that one day the community would be less aggressive and frightening in general.

.

[reginalusus]

I feel like people trying to justifying 'hating' Spamton usually come up with the one of the two excuses: "he's so popular, I'm just sick of him," - which I think is a very silly (albeit innocent) reason, sorry - or "he's not interesting or significant enough in the game to warrant the popularity."

I disagree.

For the record, before I continue, I couldn't give less of a fuck if you don't like him, lmao, you do you, BBG (why are you looking at my blog in the first place? You'll die of vex! I'm a big ol' simp). There are popular characters in other media I also don't like but I don't have the time or energy to go around boasting why I dislike them. Reality is depressing enough, I'd much rather focus on stuff I actually like.

Anyway.

While I do agree that Spamton probably isn't major in terms of the entire canon of Deltarune, I feel like there's so much nuance to him that it's kind of incredible. People seem to forget about the sweepstakes.

I don't need to go into his backstory. We all know about that and it's one of the main draws of him. He's a tragic, relatable, timeless character, and while his popularity will wane while we enjoy the other chapters, I still feel like this fandom will still love and talk about him, much like how the Undertale fandom still loves and fixates on Sans, Papyrus and Mettaton in particular. At least, I will, lol. And this is coming from someone who doesn't get attached to characters easily, at all. Not to this extent.

Anyway, continuing on with the 'nuance, interesting' point:

I've spoken about this before, time and time again, but the fact that Spamton is a direct foil to Kris, knows about souls, knows about how this world works (and is horrified by it) just seems pretty major to me, IDK. That's not even delving into the sweepstakes.

I know the whole interaction between Spamton and Noelle is kind of speculation, so I'm just going off what I've seen and read what other people have discussed in regards to these two here:

The idea that Noelle and Spamton have spoken to one another and have (maybe) discussed Dess (speculatively), is just mind-blowing to me. Dess still has a huge question mark over their head. We don't know anything about them except that they're missing, but the fact that Spamton knows some stuff (speculatively) because of Noelle just... I don't have any words. The fact that Spamton thinks Noelle is the Angel (something we know is important in the lore) is fascinating to me.

Perhaps Spamton is just a stepping stone to what other secret bosses may elaborate on in future chapters. Realistically, that's probably the case.

But Spamton himself and the dynamic between he and Kris will ALWAYS stick with me, no matter how good the other secret bosses are. The Snowgrave Spamton fight has a permanent burn mark in my brain. I will never get the image of Kris being canonically traumatised by this man out of my head.

The fact that Spamton was sort of the first character to reveal the existential horrors that the world of Deltarune entails is remarkable to me. Yes, Jevil sort of did it first, but nowhere near to the extent and depth Spamton did.

Anyway, self-indulgent discussion over. I hope we do see our beloved salesman again (we probably won't, and if we do, it most likely won't be until the end). I know he's just chilling in Kris's pocket right now with Jevil. But I have an image that in Chapter 7, we'll see all the secret bosses again. Maybe.

Maybe we'll get a cutscene sort of like the True Pacifist cutscene at the very end of Undertale, where we see all the monsters enjoying their new lives above ground. Maybe we'll see the secret bosses be happy. Maybe we'll see Jevil reunite with Seam. Maybe we'll see Spamton finally making it as a salesman again, and reconnecting with the Addisons. IDK.

Anyway, can you tell I fucking love Spamton.

[malka-lisitsa]

🙄 ; What are your biggest pet peeves when it comes to tumblr?

I'm gonna get hate for this but fuck it we ball.

purity culture

the idea that you can make an OC out of a canon character but keep the back story and the name and all the connections. That makes no sense that's just saying you dont want to write them correctly and covering your ass-

Portrayal. And how no one fucking cares about it anymore. Everyone is great at what they do and there is NO room for improvements and you obviously dont have to do your character justice when you can just do whatever you want with them instead fuck if it makes sense youre only writing a real character and not an oc but ITS COOL RIGHT? WHY BE GOOD WHEN YOU CAN JUST DO WHATEVER??

I will die on this hill for all eternity, portrayal fucking matters and I refuse to fall into the crowd that supports "do whatever!" culture.

Oc's in canon settings that don't make sense. I remember back when I was in thg fandom people tripped over themselves to make sure their oc matched lore. People researched named winners of what games and they like actually gave a damn about making their oc as canon as possible. Without being needlessly rude that is not a thing anymore :)

people who go out of their way to scream they are super fucking nice just the sweetest ever just the nicest sweetest little bean never has a bad thing to say about anyone super sweet over the top- and its because they are a trash person trying so hard to hide they are a trash person. You look fake. You sound fake. Whoa shocker, you're fake. This is why I have zero problem being real about the things that I say and do. I am the first person to tell you Im a bitch, but im also the first person to step out on the front lines if you need someone. See they're not mutually exclusive I don't need a show to be nice.

the idea that constructive criticism is hate. Just bc you don't like it doesn't mean that someone who said you weren't perfect is sending hate. I saw this a LOT in 2k12 bro people genuinely trying to help got flamed bc god forbid someone improve.

attention seeking on the dash- Excessive "WILL YOU PLEASE LIKE THIS IF YOU LIKE ME AND MY MUSES PLEASE??" Bruh. Stop. If they follow you most likely they like you. Chill or they're probably gonna stop. Self fulfilling prophecy.

the idea that you don't owe anyone an explanation for blocking. If you have written extensively, and been friends for a long time yes tf you do owe an explanation even if its "You pushed my boundaries too often after I told you x thing" and then blocking them. But you owe a friend an explanation. Communicate. Don't be a coward. No sense in ditching a friend when you could idk talk about it but ok. this does not apply to randos.

[foogadooga]

rant about sams

the sams fandom needs to stop harassing people (rant)

(TW: mentioned abuse, harassment, suicide, murder almost all mentions of horrible things come from the show itself not the fandom)

so to the sams fandom, stop harassing people. it’s not just shadow but I notice it with other things in the fandom. you like old moon? your treated like a monster. you don’t like lunar? why not? you point out suns bad behavior? it’s trauma, get over it.

on top of that the fan creations scare me. particularly the ship. the fact that 9/10 relationships in this fandom are sibling relationships should say why ship them is inappropriate. Lumini? Fine! Monty/moni x earth? Perfectly fine! Canon! Lunar x moon? THEIR BROTHERS! I even saw eclipse x lunar! Like why?? one of the more popular ships in this fandom is Solar x moon, and yeah their not blood related but they still consider each other siblings, and then sun x bloodmoon? Like yes, sun killing bloodmoon and bloodmoon torturing sun and his family? That’s some strong chemistry right there

Speaking of bloodmoon, the bloodmoon fans are out of control Sometimes. I love bloodmoon too, he’s probably my secon favorite character but let’s be realistic. Bloodmoon was dealt a horrid set of cards in life, he was built to hurt people and no one wanted to help, he’s been used and abused by everyone in the show, few are innocent in bloodmoons case. But will he be redeemed? Of course not! He doest’t want help anymore! Maybe before their death they had a shot but not now. hes killed tons of people and makes a game out this, he refuses to get better but the fandom still claims his innocence.

Speaking of characters that can’t do any wrong in the fandoms eyes, sun. He killed a child, gaslite and emotionally abused the old moon until moon thought the only way to make himself better was the die and hope he came back and was good enough, he threatened lunar, he pressured earth into driving and put her in very dangerous situations and probably other stuff, and yet we pass it off as trauma? When does trauma stop making it fine? It sure as hell wasn’t when moon hit sun.

And speaking of moon, the moon haters are crazy. i stand by the fact I prefer old moon, and I stand by the idea that the only reason moon was killed was because moon could do anything and the fandom would hate him for it. Im not excusing the fact moon hit sun during their fight episode, but i feel like the fandom needs to step back and realize sun was ALSO a problem. moon was getting better and was doing everything to get better and I know that doesn’t take it away, but the fandom needs to chill. Moon restraining sun after he killed bloodmoon was 100% acceptable. Sun was a danger to those around him and not listening to reason. the fandom was making all of these things like “how would sun charge, how would sun do this, or that” claims that made them more mad when no one ever said anything about those things.

Ruin too. He gets on my last nerve. I hate the way he treated bloodmoon, and then got redeemed. he was so creepy. I don’t have much to say about him but he makes me so mad.

[thestobingirlie]

The thing is with the basketball stuff, it wasn't even from a Steve hater (debatable tbh) but from a steddie shipper lol.

I was like telling them about s2, and they were like, well, Steve's obviously lying in his essay, lol. Anyway, idk why, but this pissed me off so bad because the fandom makes Steve's character worse than the show did. I could write essays on how I hate Steve's progression post s2 and how it was ooc for him to act in certain scenes for the purpose of comedy instead of giving him depth.

Like their whole spiel was like Steve only played basketball bc his dad was on the team when they last won a game. Making Steve want to impress his dad but as always fails, instead of giving him a thing he's good at for once (like it's canon before s4 that he doesn't completely suck). Like, fr they claim to make it better but not really, they can't even admit that the show purposefully makes Steve look extra pathetic for comedy. And they just add to it instead of correcting the mistake. I swear if it was Eddie, they would correct mistakes left or right. Ironically, they were also annoyed with "wrong" headcanons for his character, but the same logic is never applied to Steve. I need to chill lmaoo it's not that deep, but idk it was one too many stupid take I read

yeah that makes sense with the conversation happening a little while ago. this fandom (and steddie shippers especially) loves making steve seem lesser than the other characters.

anyway, steve’s become more and more of a comedic relief character, and that comes with a lot of inconsistencies with his characterisation. which is annoying for a few reasons, but the biggest one (for me) is the way people jump on these inconsistencies to hate steve.

i think the obsession with making sports something that steve hates is an extension of that whole… alt is so much better and queerer, and jocks are all horrible people, etc etc. so, of course steve can’t actually enjoy basketball!! it has to be something forced onto him. he’s terrible at it! he wishes he could be like eddie!

(i do find it ironic the way people jump to eddie in the first episode as being ‘ooc’ when that’s… literally the real eddie. who isn’t on the run and traumatised. like, they see that as inconsistent, and just totally dump it and pretend it doesn’t exist, but anything to do with steve? nah, that’s just an excuse to mock him.)

it’s always deep to me <3 lmao

[minthe-lover]

Lore Olympus is a lot like Twilight. There's Edward and Hades, two immortal beings eons older than their love interests and only actually like the idea they crafted in their heads about them, they're broody "sad bois" with no flaws who hate everyone ever and they're loaded as shit. Then there's Bella and Persephone, two unsympathetic, annoying, underaged, stronger-than-even-the-strongest-character, self-insert mary sues that everyone is in love with. X plot contradicts Y plot, Z plot is completely forgotten and the writing is just plain terrible. The main characters barely know one another and they're rushing to get married. They're both unbelievably racist, classist, have big bads that end up really not being a big deal like, at all, and the creator thinks they're the greatest thing since sliced bread. I have a separate tangent just about the vampires tbh. But then, there's their fandoms.

The Twilight fandom (or what remains of it) is more than aware that their chosen media sucks. They laugh at it, roast ReNameMe, write significantly better fanfiction than canon ever did, come up with fun theories, talk about how bad Bella and Edward are for eachother, simp for Charlie, and hear each other out on what they have to say. As far as I've seen, there aren't really any "antis" because everyone kind of just mutually love-hates Twilight. But the Lore Olympus fandom is so insanely different? They lose their minds if you so much as breathe wrong in H&P's direction, they think it's the most romantic thing in the world, and that it's accurate mythology? The slightest indication that Lore Olympus isn't good makes them froth at the mouth like a rabid dog and you get attacked from all directions by every stan in a hundred mile radius?

It's insane to me how two pieces of media that are so similar in their most basic form can have such dramatically different fandoms. Anyway Twilight stans are cool and LO stans need to chill the fuck out. Media can suck ass and people can enjoy it while criticizing it, the universe isn't going to collapse because someone doesn't like your chosen brain rot.

^^^^^ I'm admittedly not that familiar with twilight or it's fandom. so not much I can add to this.

[error4343]

Rules: Choose any three fandoms (in random order) and answer the questions, then tag 10 people you want to know better.

I'll tag less than 10, but still!

Tagged by: @midnightella-mass

Fandoms:

Midnight Mass

Faith: The unholy trinity

Control

First character you loved:

Annet. From first frames she reminded me of my grandma and it was love on first sight.

John. Tbh, he is the first distinct character in whole Chapter I, so it's not hard to be first fav.

Ahti. Came for chill, stayed for lore.

the character you relate to most:

Joe. It is a very strange connection, but um. As you know, I'm ukrainian. And because of fact that my life is payed by lives of hundreds, theme of seems-like-irredeemable quilt and then redemption though actions hits close.

John again. Again, themes of quilt and redemption, but with (semi?) happy end. Also, untreated anxiety problems, yupiee!!

I think Jesse? Not thematically tho, mostly because I grew attached to her while playing.

the character you’d slap:

RILEY FLYNN. At this point my hate for Riley became a running joke among friends. I will elaborate on it later in this post, but for now SLAP HIS BALD HEAD WITH ALL HEAVENS MIGHTY.

Garry Miller. Also slap his bald head.

Dylan Faden. No hair? Get slapped. It's a rule here.

three favorite characters in order of preference:

John Pruitt (ofc he is), Sarah Gunning (need more of her), Beverly Keane (...i can explain-)

John Ward (who could've guess huh), father Garcia (who doesn't love Garcia?), Lisa (patiently waiting for her development in Ch IV)

Jesse Faden, Casper Darling (goofy aah man), Emily Pope (://3)

a character you liked at first but don’t like anymore:

Riley Flynn. Here we are. I could write an essay about why I don't have any respect for this man, but in short: self-pity doesn't equal redemption. At first, I was justifying his behaviour by mental problems, but then recalled that Angels blood fixes everything, so every action he takes really is dictated by his own will. And a lot of those actions is questionable to me.

Miriam. As character - she rocks. But I grew spiteful towards her because of her fucking boss fight in Chapter II that screws my attempts to get "Good Christian Boy achievement" over and over.

None!

a character you did not like at first but now do:

Beverly fucking Keane. As every normal human being, I hate her. But in same time, from the first watch couldn't deny how well written and played she is... And then something happend that now I have legit lesbian panic over her. I have no idea why. Please help me.

Lisa. At first, thought of her as cliche protag-love-interest™ (and she is tbh), but headcanons and expanding beyond original media did a trick.

Dylan Faden. I KNOW ONE PERSON HERE WON'T AGREE but I do like him! Just in my special ways!

(less than) three OTPs:

All canon ships... Plus Paul/Riley. Don't ask, my morals were questionable already on Bev's part.

Holy smokers (John/Lisa) and Vatican approved yaoi (Garcia/Alfred)

Jesse/Emily and Darling/Trench. Also, me and my bestie have codename "bumblebees" for first one. All because on Ukrainian their names together make something, remotely similar to word bumblebee: Джесі/Емілі (Jesse/Emily) -> джемілі (jemily) -> джмелі (bumblebees).

I spy with my lil eye: @orsanedraws @https-yaracchi @neldartkhaina

[danganronpa-21]

Naekusaba?

This is for this ask game!

Ooh, that’s a good question that I wasn’t expecting to get. Let’s roll!

When I started shipping it if I did:

I remember in about 2017-2018, the early days for me in the DR fandom, I had a little triad of just cute Makoto ships. I was most partial to Naegiri, but between all of the hints surrounding Naekusaba in IF and Monochrome Answer for Naezono, I found I could enjoy all of them to some degree.

Then there was this boom that increased the fanbase by quite a bit, and suddenly the shipping culture became much more intense. There started to be some harassment on every end, but I remember seeing a chunk from Naekusaba fans towards Naegiri fans (and possibly vice versa, but I didn’t end up seeing it). That put a bitter taste in my mouth, and I grew to associate the pairing with that negativity, so I stopped shipping it.

These days I’m much more neutral on it, as the rude fans seem to have withered away, and now it’s just the chill ones like you who are hanging around! :)

My thoughts:

I think they’re a solid, believable pairing, and with the climate surrounding them being brighter now, I’d love to get back to feeling at least a little bit of affection for them. They’re both interesting characters and have a good capacity to measure up against one another, and especially with each of their connections to hope and despair, their relationship can play into the themes of the game. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you twice that I love when relationships are relevant in that way.

I’m also surprised that they’re not more popular? I know Naegiri and Naegami are probably Makoto’s biggest ships, but I’m surprised to see that there’s not more going on with it. Especially since Mukuro is a character that people want to see more of in canon anyways, I feel like these two deserve a bit more love… If I didn’t have so much in my backlog, I might’ve liked to write a one-shot or two 😅 Oh well, I suppose that’s something I’ll have to do another day!

What makes me happy about them:

The fact that Mukuro fell for Makoto because he was the first person to ever really genuinely smile at her… it’s bittersweet at times, because you feel bad for Mukuro, but the fact that this was all it took for her to fall in love is far too cute!

This really just sets a basis for the warmth in the relationship, because you know that there is going to be so much of that sweet, sweet slowburn in their relationship. It’s going to tinge every interaction they have for awhile, and that’s just awesome. I think no matter what happens, even as they grow closer, Mukuro and Makoto will always have that shyness to their romantic relationship. Everything will just be tender and kind between them, and they’ll both just feel so lucky to be loved by one another. I think that’s what makes me happiest about them — knowing that they’ll know the other loves them no matter what.

What makes me sad about them:

The fact that Mukuro was actually so close to asking Junko to spare him according to IF. She cared for Makoto that greatly that she would be willing to defy her sister, the one person in her life that she actually genuinely felt connected to (even if their relationship was super unhealthy). And the fact that she decided not to makes it hurt even more, because you can see that based on her and Junko’s relationship and what’s said in Danganronpa 3… It’s not necessarily out of fear of what Junko would do if she asked. It’s out of love for Junko that she decides she won’t ask. Makoto is the one thing that could thwart her plans for despair by Junko’s own admission, so if Mukuro asks to take Makoto out of the equation, she’s potentially ruining her sister’s happiness. And she still sees herself as the only person who truly understands Junko, so she thinks better of asking.

But the fact that she wanted to still remains.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me:

This goes for most fanfics where there’s “romantic competition”, but I hate, HATE the villainization of anyone else trying to romance Makoto. It’s never done well, it’s always just turning Sayaka or Kyoko into this nasty, awful girls which neither of them are. They wouldn’t try to hurt Mukuro or sabotage the relationship even if they did greatly care for Makoto. The worst thing I can see happening from them is that Kyoko would maybe be suspicious of what Mukuro’s intentions are with Makoto — but that’s about it. I feel like otherwise, Makoto and Mukuro would be left to their happiness, which is really why I hate seeing it happen in fanfic.

Things I look for in fanfic:

Because they have so much pain and missed moments in their story, I think if I was to look for fanfic about them, it’d have to be fluff and family stories. After all that the both of them have been through, I feel like in fanfic, I would just want a healthy dose of them living in a happy, healthy way. Therapy for Mukuro to help her realize her worth, maybe becoming a hairstylist like that one potential ending mentioned. Therapy for Makoto as well, and realizing just how important he is, and maybe deciding to become a teacher as an echo of his Danganronpa 3 ending. If they have a family, I could see them maybe having one kid, but only after being absolutely certain that they’re ready. Just stuff like that is what I think would draw me in most about fanfic about them, so I’d say that’s what I would look for.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

No surprises for Makoto — if not Mukuro, then I’d love for him to be with Kyoko.

As for Mukuro herself, I’m honestly much less sure. Self-love is my reflexive answer, but it doesn’t give very much… So maybe I could see her being cute with Sayaka. After all, if there’s one thing that Sayaka values most of all, it’s her loved ones, and her cheerful, bouncy nature pairs up nicely against Mukuro’s more subdued shyness. I could also maybe see a similar case with Aoi.

My happily ever after for them:

Whoops, technically already answered that in one of the other questions. Eh, I suppose I can just elaborate!

So like I said, I’m thinking therapy, marriage, and just one kiddo. I’m thinking of this being the IF timeline for them, where they escape the school much earlier with no deaths. The two of them join up with Future Foundation just like the others do, but Mukuro is definitely placed on intern status with severe supervision, like Toko but even more carefully monitored. She’s not crazy about it, but she understands why things are the way they are, and so she doesn’t mind. Besides, they seem to pair her up with Makoto a lot, thinking of him as “a good influence” for her. This regular pair-up is probably why the two of them start to grow closer, and why Mukuro eventually becomes more of a despair-informant as time goes on.

When Makoto is thrust into the 2nd Killing Game of his life, Mukuro is not there — not being a branch leader or their proxy like Kyoko and Aoi, she is left out of the game. Of course, that only means that Byakuya has to go in guns blazing with Mukuro at his side this time. When they are eventually able to free Makoto from the game, Mukuro is delighted and, in the heat of the moment, declares her love. Makoto is stunned, but accepts, and the two share a kiss.

After that, they and their friends decide to move to a settlement that is being rebuilt. Makoto talks of rebuilding Hope’s Peak, and Mukuro is hesitant but agrees, deciding that she won’t help so as to not scare people. She does, however, offers hair cuts, care, and styling in the settlement’s marketplace where others also offer their services. After a few years of dating, Makoto eventually asks Mukuro to marry him, and she is delighted to say yes.

The two have a small, but intimate wedding where they invite all of their friends. I’d like to think that Mukuro even tears up a little as Makoto recites his wedding vows to her, and he’s all too happy to hug her at the altar and comfort her through her tears. The ceremony is just beautiful, and is their own personal slice of hope.

As for that kiddo of theirs, they probably don’t have it until closer to being thirty. Mukuro wants to make sure that she’s the perfect mother for the child, so she gets all of the advice from other moms that she can. Makoto is pretty confident that she’s going to be amazing, so he doesn’t worry at all, but he does try to follow in her footsteps a little bit and get advice. Once they start trying, it takes a few months, but Mukuro eventually becomes pregnant with a beautiful baby boy. Once he’s born, they dote on him like no other, and he is raised knowing that he is very loved. They dub the boy Akimitsu, meaning “bright light”.

Who is the big spoon/little spoon:

In most relationships, I am in support of little spoon Makoto because I think he would really enjoy it… but I think he would big spoon for Mukuro, because really, how much has anyone really hugged this poor girl? She’s a bit embarrassed and shy at first, but quickly discovers that she loves her little backpack boyfriend.

What is their favourite non-sexual activity:

Hmmm, good question… I feel like once they’re together, the two of them spend some time sharing interests and indulging in them together. So, I feel like their favourite non-sexual activity is trying things! Maybe one day they bake, the next day Makoto teaches Mukuro how to play video games, and then the next Mukuro shows Makoto some of her favourite physical training exercises. They just love to work together and connect on things, and I think that they’d spend their lives together always learning new little things about each other.

[unintentionalseductress]

Hey Ray, how are you? I've read about your flu recently. I'm very sorry and I hope you get better soon. Have a fast recovery, ok?

Regarding confessions, I have nothing much to say. I think other anons already mentioned lots of valid points. Sure- porn fics are obv exaggerated, characters get mischaracterized and ships get pushed down out throats all the time but hey, that's just an average fandom experience, right?

So I'm trying to ignore/filter all the negativity and allow only good, quality content on my dash. Unfortunately, the content is few and not many appreciate writers and artists here on Tumblr. So it's for the best if they'd just change platforms and try their luck somewhere else that offers more positive interaction/involvement. I miss Tumblr reblog culture and nice feedback on dif stories/art. Nothing is the same anymore...

Regarding mischaracterization- it's not a problem to headcanon things, in fact, to each their own. But it's a problem when people openly accept headcanon as canon and unapologetically fight others over inaccurate opinions. It's so beyond me. And the funniest thing- it's mostly minors. Can we get rid of the minors in for-them-inappropriate fandom spaces pls? Tumblr staff where you at?

I noticed that fans of less popular characters are more fun. I'm not that big into Choso you see, but his fans made the whole fandom experience so much more enjoyable. And I don't think that Mahito fans are weird if you compare Toji smut fics (I'm not calling out people but I'm calling out people). Sukuna fans I'm looking at you too...

I'm forever grateful for Nanami, Higuruma, Kusakabe and Shiu quartet. Gege, thank you for feeding us while it lasted. The fics are divine and I understand why Shoko didn't see the appeal in stsg, like girl I get you.

I'll come out and say it- stsg is overrated. And jjk girls deserve more content that isn't ship-oriented.

I think Gege needs to make up his mind because Yuta and Yuji can't exist as two mains at once. Everyone is taking away Yuji's spotlight, but they're dying and dying until nobody's left except Yuji... I don't know how jjk will end.

I miss Yuki and Todo's dynamic and all the funny stuff, I wish jjk was a comedy fr... Gege is writing an idol manga after this one so I can't wait for the things he has in store for us!

Hello! Thank you for your concern about my cold. Honestly, with all of you wishing me to get better, I'm recovering a little faster! 💜💜💜

I agree with mischaracterization, but imo, unless a mangaka explicitly states something, then a fictional character is always subject to having HC's being formed about them depending on the writer. What gets problematic though, is when fans of a writer start looking at those HC's as an actual canon, and now they're picking fights/sending hate to other creators who have different opinions.

Fans of less popular characters tend to be more chill from what I've seen. They just want to talk about their faves and have a good time, and are less bothered with what could be canon or not. They have their HC's and are open to hearing different ones too.

I feel like JJK gave us this genre of 'tired men in suits' which is very appealing, even to us older girlies who are in the same age range as these men.

Stsg being overrated...imo I don't feel that way. I think they had great potential as a couple and I'm filled with sadness at the thought that they didn't catch Suguru's spiral when it happened. I can see them with heterosexual partners too, but I love the concept of Stsg.

The JJK women definitely need content not surrounding ships or smut. Something more action-related or just let her shine in her own right in a fic.

IDK what'll happen going forward...The story is supposed to center on Yuji but it feels like he's constantly being pushed aside. I hope things resolve soon but it looks like Sukuna might win after all this. I'm just sad thinking about it.

I miss the slice of life feel to the story as well but what can ya do...Gege is the mangaka, so he'll do what he wants. But if he brings back Nanami I ain't complaining lol.

Thank you for your confession!

[nny11writes]

Nunny! I'm sending you asks for your game.

I'm tempted to send you the entire post and just see the Nunny Rant. You might not even do She-ra. I'm thinking of She-ra sending these but go off about star wars or something else if you think it applies better to the question :D

the character everyone gets wrong (ahahhahahaaaaaaaaa)

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about (im sure there is a long list)

9 and 10 - Worst part of fanon and worst part of canon (imo there is some overlap)

13. worst blorboficiation

14. that one thing you see in fics all the time

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

lakhglkajfas, I think my rant would mostly just be keyboard smashes and crying emojis so this is the better way to go lol!

the character everyone gets wrong God, like, fucking- ALL of them. :) Buuuuuut the one that's bugging me the most recently is Mermista.

I am SO sick of post canon Mermista in c/a fics specifically. Mermista would not hold a grudge that hard that long and that violently!!! Stop having her hate Catra and actively be out to do harm to her. Mermista's response to losing her kingdom was like a bad breakup where she just cried in a tub eating ice cream. Her response to seeing HORDAK at the end of the series was just a, "So are we good with him now?" implying that she's chill to be chill.

Mermista and Catra 100% would sit at a table calling one another a bitch (begrudgingly fond and pretend to not be) back and forth. Mermista would not be out to skin Catra alive! Mermista wants to talk to Catra about her murder novels because Perfuma reads too slowly and doesn't like spoilers but she NEEDS to talk to someone about the butler who has a brain cell because Sea Hawk seemed to miss the whole first half of the book AND FURTHER MORE-

9. and 10. - Worst part of fanon and worst part of canon

Worst part of fanon is the fucking shippers. This went from one of the more open and accepting fandoms for all ships that I'd ever been in to one of the worst.

Like, straight up, one of the fics that lives rent free in my head is an explicit fic where Catra and Hordak enthusiastically consent to having sex. Like Hordak is trying to be kinda standoffish but can't stop looking at boob window tits, he was Entrapta trained I'm afraid. The number of times I think of his awkward proposing they do it more frequently followed shortly by Catra dressing and winking saying, "Seriously, great cock!" is a lot lol. It's such a porn movie style fic and there is something fantastic to be said about it.

But you even hint that Catra could be headcanonned as anything besides a lesbian and your body will be found in a few months time in several different bags. Suggesting Catra and Hordak having any romantic or sexual relationship probably gets you reported to the fucking government or something. So there's a reason it's never made a rec list from me but fuck it I'm mentioning it now.

They aren't real. If I want to occasionally have a giggle about them and make my little dolls bump uglies everyone else should politely not look while my fellow weirdly sane people who get that this is all make believe but sure we're the freaks here come poke and enjoy!

Fucking shipping wars and discourse man. I'm sick of it.

Worst part of canon for me is the censorship and uncertainty that caused various issues with the plot and prevented the show from being even stronger. You can see it in real time while watching, but man it was wild in December 2018 to see how professional media talked about the show and Catra and Adora being adoptive sisters, to AJ (I think?) getting dumped on for repeating that idea and having to apologize, to the open gayness at the end. I love SPOP, but the rocky terrain the crew-ra had to navigate really did impact the quality and created weird gaps that asshole fans hunkered down into. Like, we cannot pry some of those fuckers out.

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

I need you to understand that my immediate response when I started writing this answer out was a very strained and painful sigh through my nose as my brain returned a static white noise sound.

I am really tired of forcing this jock!Adora and slacker!Catra thing. Like, it started in modern AUs but it's gone and infected people's idea of canon as well. It falls into a bit of the "dumb adora" trope, which people just don't seem to actually understand what that means or is about. It also falls into Shadow Weaver's narrative of who Catra is which is wild. Like. Really wild.

You are telling me Catra, a cat person who grew up in a military, is actively against exercise? Yes, she would 100% sleep in a sunbeam for a nap, and then she wakes up and craves some low key chaos and violence.

You are telling me Adora, forced into a golden child and leadership position, is bad at reading and math and science because all she cares about is training? Adora 100% enjoys physical fitness and using her body, but she's got a sharp mind on her and there's no way in hell she doesn't like to work it too.

I am just exhausted with it in modern AUs, and now it has gone to infect canon interpretations. It flattens their characters out, ignores/denies parts of their abuse, and nukes their abilities from orbit. I hate it so so much.

Also if I have to see one more fic or art piece where Catra is willingly and happily wearing dresses, skirts, and heels I swear to fucking god I will KILL. :)

13. worst blorboficiation

Again, this is all of them. Everyone suffers from being blorbo'd to an insane degree, but it just shifts depending on which character is the favorite of that part of the fandom. You have talked several times about the insanity of Catra fans vs. Hordak fans, the blorboification is insane there. Same with Catra fans vs. Glimmer fans.

Like. God damn. I'm so glad the Adora vs. Catra fan fights died out real quick because this fandom is exhausting enough.

With Catra being my favorite it's extra exhausting because there is CONSTANTLY people attacking her and then total asshats trying to defend her who I do not want to be associated with. I love her. She's a fucking idiot and a bastard and a baby. Somehow, every take on her is both the worst and factually correct and then the fandom fights.

Tipsy, I. Am. Tired.

14. that one thing you see in fics all the time

OKAY

Let's fucking talk about how GLIMMER IS NOT AN EVIL BITCH. Can we talk about that? STOP TRYING TO LEAVE THIS POST AND SIT YOUR ASS DOWN WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THIS AGAIN because someone needs to hear it louder in the back.

Glimmer is the character who is probably be done the dirtiest by the fandom but for wildly different reasons throughout the whole show. Hands down.

After S1 fandom took Glimmer and made her into an entitled dumbass whiner who threw money and her titles at her problems. They made her act like a child without any complexity. And it 100% took me from not really liking her character much to detesting her which is outrageous every time I remember that I kinda hated her at that point.

This did not improve post S2. :)

Post S3 probably was the most sympathetic and understanding the fandom was to Glimmer but it came at the cost of trying to bulldoze Catra for the Portal and people making callout posts like these characters were real people. I feel like the rise of some of the G/A shippers that I really can't stand was around this time. It was catra vs. glimmer fans going bat shit and drawing lines for ships.

If they couldn't assassinate Glimmer's character, by god the fandom would assassinate both Catra and Adora's in wildly different ways instead!

Do I need to talk about post S4? The idea of dark Glimmer and Glimmer going off the rails should have been a fun thing to play with in the sandbox and instead just writing it down made me cringe. Now Glimmer has to be an evil bitch because she had a trauma response and made bad decisions, now she is irredeemable because I made up a situation where she did something she didn't in canon for reasons so OOC someone probably slapped Donut Steel on it somewhere.

There was a little lift post series, but man people are holding onto Glimmer being a spoiled brat to play off of for Catra or a cruel bitch for Catra and, again, as a Catra fan, I want to bite bite kill kill bite kill kill kill!!!

Glimmer is allowed to grow up from being a spoiled kid who had good intentions and was naive. She is allowed to be over eager, bratty, petty, silly, funny, caring, and smart too. She's allowed to make bad choices and struggle with how to recover from it.

STOP MAKING ME THE LEAVE BRITTNEY ALONE MEME FOR GLIMMER

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

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