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cellsshapedlikestars · 3 years ago

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Hon' if you are accepting prompts (and only if you are!) can I have some spooky Sansa and Jon? I'm still not over them in spooky scenarios so I would love to read anything about it.

And for something a little more specific (in case that helps): maybe ghost!Sansa and Jon moves to her place and she is not happy, but also she loves his dog?

Or maybe Addams AU!

Or maybe Jon is the ghost and Sansa moves into his place?

Or they are talkshow hosts or something and a ghost is trying to get them together?

Or maybe YouTubers AU and their followed bug them until they agree to a Collab and it's Halloween or something like that?

Okay I went all over the place and clearly have too many ideas, but feel free to choose any of you do choose something!

First of all, I guess I'm sort of always taking prompts? I'll never turn them away, though they may also sit in my inbox forever (I'm looking at you, the last anon prompt from when I asked for them back in December...)

Second, spooky prompts! ❤️👻❤️👻❤️ If there's anything I love in this world, it's the supernatural/paranormal. And it may be the middle of summer, but I'm already longing for spooky season and I've been trying to vibe with it but it's hard when the days are so long, hot, and humid. (I desperately want to be able to go outside and not feel like I'm breathing soup, thank you very much.)

Before I get to the prompt itself, because I'm too wordy for my own good - your one prompt of Sansa/Jon is a ghost and the other moves in to their place... well, I've read that fic! It's actually locked on AO3 and I don't know if that means the author doesn't really want people finding it/linking to it, so I won't, but I guess DM me if you wanna know what it is?? I don't know the protocol for that. There's also Haunt Me, Then by the lovely @ode-to-an-inkwell which I read back when I was lurking and I loved it. It's the same base premise, but with a ton more plot!

The prompt I have chosen is the youtuber collab! Because I also love writing about/dissecting social media, apparently.

Sansa breathes – deep and even – and tries to stay centered in the middle of her group (away from the edges, away from the dark corners and the sounds coming from them and the people she knows are waiting for her there).

She wishes with all her strength that her followers had never found out that she's related to Robb. It's not something she was hiding, necessarily, but when she started her channel, she'd kept a lot of her personal life private. And honestly, she never thought it would get to this point – the point where she has millions of followers and Robb and Theon have millions of followers and those followers inevitably found out she and Robb are siblings.

A collab had been unavoidable. She just wishes it were any other activity than... this.

She lets out a strangled scream as something crashes to her right and she stumbles left, straight into the other person who's been dragged along tonight – Jon Snow. He catches her arm and keeps her upright and she almost thanks him until she hears him let out a laugh. It infuriates her and she rips her arm out of his grasp and sends him a glare, though it's short lived when she sees what looks like a jar of eyeballs on a shelf behind him and bile twists in her stomach.

She hates Halloween - she hates horror movies and jump scares and gore, and she especially hates haunted houses. But what else should she have expected for this collab? Robb and Theon have a dumb prank channel, of course they'd bring her – notorious wimp Sansa Stark – to a haunted house for the video. She thinks Robb got permission to film, because Dacey and Olyvar are flanking them with cameras to capture everyone's reactions.

“It's all fake,” Jon reminds her, though she barely hears his voice over the din of sound effects echoing through the dark corridor as they pass from one room to another.

“I know that,” she hisses, heart pounding wildly. They approach a doorway and – sure enough – right as she passes through, there's a person with heavy special effects makeup waiting on the other side to grab at her (another thing she resents – this is one of those places where the actors can touch you. They'd had to sign a waver). She screams in the actor's faux-bloody face and she swears he laughs at her.

In front of her, Robb and Theon are being obnoxious as usual. She doesn't really condone their prank channel and has often had to reign them in from doing something that would get one of them needlessly hurt (or would be considered, you know, illegal). Jon is usually an unwilling participant in their videos, and he has his own woodworking channel that has nowhere near the viewership that her makeup channel or Robb and Theon's prank channels do (she's told him, over an over, that if he showed his face on camera, he'd get more viewers, but he insists that he wants the focus to be on his work, not him). Jon walks next to her, calm, like nothing in this place fazes him, and she sort of resents him for this.

She understands it's all fake, she's not stupid, but that doesn't stop her fear response from kicking in every time something jumps at her, every time lights flicker or go out. It doesn't stop her stomach from turning whenever she sees the needlessly gory scenes like that doctor cutting a girl open, her fake intestines spilling out as the actress screamed.

“It'll be over soon,” Jon leans in close so she can hear him better, and for a moment a sense of calm washes over her. She loses it, though, as he moves away to give her space and she panics and reaches out and grabs his hand, tugging him back close to her.

A strange look passes over his face, but he doesn't say anything, just lets her grab onto his arm as they continue through the haunted house. She can't explain it, but with Jon next to her she feels... safe. She knows none of this is real, she knows none of these actors will actually hurt her, but it doesn't seem to matter, and it doesn't seem to matter that Jon won't actually have to protect her (though she somehow knows that he would if he ever had to, and that's a strange realization to have as she's walking through a room of terrifying clowns).

When it's finally over and they're outside, she breathes a sigh of relief and she feels muscles that she hadn't even realized were tensed relax.

“That was awesome,” Theon nearly shouts at one of the cameras. He and Robb talk loudly and animatedly for the cameras about the house, summarizing it for their audience (she knows they're likely to cut out a lot of the extreme scares and gore, since a good portion of their audience are kids and young teens).

“You good?” Jon murmurs to her and she realizes she still has a death grip on his arm.

“Oh,” she breathes with a forced laugh, “yeah,” and she lets go of his arm and immediately wishes she could have it back. (And then, some part of her brain whispers that she wishes she could have his arm wrapped around her instead, but she pushes that thought out because where did that even come from?)

Jon brings a hand up to scratch at his beard and shifts on his feet and she wonders if its because he feels awkward on camera. Jon's never liked being on camera, not really – it's why Robb and Theon always have to catch him off guard and why his videos – at most – only feature his hands and forearms (the comments on his videos about how attractive his hands and forearms are had been one of her main arguments for showing his face, but Jon had gotten weird after that and so she'd dropped it eventually).

“Hayride next?” Robb asks, which brings her back to the present.

“There's more?” she whines, twisting her face into a pout that always got her out of trouble when she was a kid, but Robb and Theon are already making their way towards the next attraction.

“You can sit next to me,” Jon offers, and she feels relief flood through her. “I'll be on the outside.”

She feels herself smile for the first time all night and nods and she's even more pleased when he – after a moment of hesitation – holds out his arm for her to take. She does so, curling her own arms around his and hugging it to her, keeping herself as close to him as possible as they walk through the fairgrounds to the haunted hayride.

They arrive right behind Robb and Theon and when Robb sees the way she's basically clinging to his best friend, there's a look that she can't figure out – it flicks from their joined arms, to Jon, then back to their arms, then to her, then back to Jon again and she feels Jon stiffen up next to her. Something silent passes between them and Robb looks almost... concerned? But then Jon shakes his head so subtly she thinks she's not supposed to see it and Robb nods back and turns around to face Theon and the cameras and Sansa's left more confused than anything.

The next tractor and wagon pull up to the entrance and the previous riders disembark. She waits with Jon, and though there's a slight fluttering in her stomach, she's not terrified like she had been right before the haunted house. Jon keeps his word and as they climb onto the open-topped wagon, he lets her sit in the middle and he takes the outside so she won't have to deal with the actors that run up to them during the ride. She settles into the hay and, without thinking, leans her head on his shoulder, arm still linked through his.

“Thank you,” she says.

“Robb and Theon shouldn't have made you do this,” Jon says back and his voice sounds a bit shaky. She can't see his face, she's too comfortable resting her head against him to look up, but she wonders why he sounds nervous. Maybe he's more scared of all of this than he was letting on? He hadn't seemed nervous at all in the haunted house.

“Don't worry, I'm going to have so much fun giving them a full face of glam makeup when it's time to make the video for my channel.” That's the point of this collab – she does a video for their channel and they do one for hers.

Jon lets out a soft laugh as the tractor starts up and the wagon lurches forward, heading into the dark forest. “Can I watch?”

“Definitely,” she says as she squeezes his arm tighter, her heart jumping at a noise off in the woods – a signal that the scares are about to start. “You should let me do your makeup,” she continues to try and distract herself. “I think glam makeup would look amazing with your beard.”

“Sure,” she can feel his shoulder lift into a shrug, and that does make her lift her head up and look at him.

“You would? I thought you hated being on camera?”

He shrugs again, but whatever response he was going to give is cut off as an actor takes a running leap at the wagon, latching onto the side and pulling himself up, and the passenger nearest to him (right in front of Jon) screams. Sansa sucks in a breath and tries to calm her racing heart (and out of the corner of her eye, she sees Dacey with a camera pointed right at her and Jon, a smirk on her face).

She spends the rest of the ride (and all through the haunted corn maze), hanging onto Jon for dear life and she swears his calm presence is the only reason she survives.

(And when she finally gets home to her little apartment and gets into bed, she tries desperately not to think too hard about why that is. She tries not to analyze the safety she felt with him or the way her heart had been fluttering during the car ride home, sitting in Robb's back seat and staring at Jon's profile illuminated by moonlight in the front seat as he and Robb talked and joked around. She tries not to obsess about the way he'd told her to call him if she ever wanted him to be in one of her videos, tries not to read too much into the look Robb had given Jon when he said it.)

(She tells herself that the reason she can't sleep that night is because of the haunted house.)

(It's definitely not because of Jon.)

#ask #prompt fic #jonsa #jonsa fic #spooky season baby #we're starting early #though really #does spooky season ever end?

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xoruffitup · 3 years ago

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Annette: The AD Devotee Review

So I saw Annette on its premiere night in Cannes and I’m still trying to process and make sense of those 2.5 hours of utter insanity. I have no idea where to begin and this is likely going to become an unholy length by the time I’m finished, so I apologize in advance. But BOY I’ve got a lot to parse through!!

Let’s start here: Adam’s made plenty of weird movies. The Dead Don’t Die? The Man Who Killed Don Quixote? There are definitely Terry Gilliam-esque elements of the unapologetically absurd and fantastical in Annette, but NOTHING comes close to this film. To put it bluntly, nothing I write in this post can prepare you for the eccentric phantasmagoria you’re about to sit through.

While the melodies conveying the story – at times lovely and haunting, at times whimsical, occasionally blunt and simple – add a unique sense of the surreal, the fact that it’s all presented in song somehow supplies the medium for this bizarre concoction of disparate elements and outlandish storytelling to all coalesce into a single genre-defying, disbelief-suspending whole. That’s certainly not to say there weren’t a few times when I quietly chortled to myself and mouthed “what the fuck” from behind my mask when things took an exceeding turn to the outrageous. This movie needs to be permitted a bit of leeway in terms of quality judgments, and traditional indicators certainly won’t apply. I would say part of its appeal (and ultimately its success) stems from its lack of interest in appealing to traditional arbiters of film structure and viewing experience. The movie lingers in studies of discomfiture (I’ll return to this theme); it presents all its absurdities with brazen pride rather than temperance; and its end is abrupt and utterly jarring. Yet somehow, at the end of it, I realized I’d been white-knuckling that rollercoaster ride the whole way through and loved every last twist and turn.

A note on the structure of this post before I dive in: I’ve written out a synopsis of the whole film (for those spoiler-hungry people) and stashed it down at the bottom of this post, so no one trying to avoid spoilers has to scroll through. If you want to read, go ahead and skip down to that before reading the discussion/analysis. If I have to reference a specific plot point, I’ll label it “Spoiler #___” and those who don’t mind being spoiled can check the correlating numbers in my synopsis to see which part I’m referencing. Otherwise, my discussion will be spoiler-free! I do detail certain individual scenes, but hid anything that would give away key developments and/or the ending.

To start, I’ll cut to what I’m sure many of you are here for: THE MUSICAL SEX SCENES. You want detailed descriptions? Well let’s fucking go because these scenes have been living in my head rent-free!!

The first (yes, there are two. Idk whether to thank Mr. Carax or suggest he get his sanity checked??) happens towards the end of “We Love Each Other So Much.” Henry carries Ann to the bed with her feet dangling several inches off the floor while she has her arms wrapped around his shoulders. (I maybe whimpered a tiny bit.) As they continue to sing, you first see Ann spread on her back on the bed, panting a little BUT STILL SINGING while Henry’s head is down between her thighs. The camera angle is from above Ann’s head, so you can clearly see down her body and exactly what’s going on. He lifts his head to croon a line, then puts his mouth right back to work.

And THEN they fuck – still fucking singing! They’re on their sides with Henry behind her, and yes there is visible thrusting. Yes, the thrusting definitely picks up speed and force as the song reaches its crescendo. Yes, it was indeed EXTREMELY sensual once you got over the initial shock of what you’re watching. Ann kept her breasts covered with her own hands while Henry went down on her, but now his hands are covering them and kneading while they’re fucking and just….. It’s a hard, blazing hot R rating. I also remember his giant hand coming up to turn her head so he can kiss her and ladkjfaskfjlskfj. Bring your smelling salts. I don’t recommend sitting between two older ladies while you’re watching – KINDA RUINED THE BLATANT, SMOKING HOT ADAM PORN FOR ME. Good god, choose your viewing buddy wisely!

The second scene comes sort of out of nowhere – I can’t actually recall which song it was during, but it pops up while Ann is pregnant. Henry is again eating her out and there’s not as much overt singing this time, but he has his giant hands splayed over her pregnant belly while he’s going to town and whew, WHEW TURN ON THE AIR CONDITIONING PLEASE. DID THE THEATER INCREASE IN TEMPERATURE BY 10 DEGREES, YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT IT DID.

Whew. I think you’ll be better primed to ~enjoy~ those scenes when you know they’re coming, otherwise it’s just so shocking that by the time you’ve processed “Look at Adam eating pussy with reckless abandon” it’s halfway over already. God speed, my fellow rats, it’s truly something to witness!!

Okay. Right. Ahem. Moving right on along….

I’ll kick off this discussion with the formal structure of the film. It’s honestly impossible to classify. I have the questionable fortune of having been taken to many a strange avant-garde operas and art exhibitions by my parents when I was younger, and the strongest parallel I found to this movie was melodramatic opera stagings full of flamboyant flourishes, austere set pieces, and prolonged numbers where the characters wallow at length in their respective miseries. This movie has all the elevated drama, spectacle, and self-aggrandizement belonging to any self-professed rock opera. Think psychedelic rock opera films a la The Who’s Tommy, Hair, Phantom of the Paradise, and hell, even Rocky Horror. Yes, this film really is THAT weird.

But Annette is also in large part a vibrant, absurdist performance piece. The film is intriguingly book-ended by two scenes where the lines blur between actor and character; and your own role blurs between passive viewer and interactive audience. The first scene has the cast walking through the streets of LA (I think?), singing “So May We Start?” directly to the camera in a self-aware prologue, smashing the fourth wall from the beginning and setting up the audience to play a direct role in the viewing experience. Though the cast then disburse and take up their respective roles, the sense of being directly performed to is reinforced throughout the film. This continues most concretely through Henry’s multiple stand-up comedy performances.

Though he performs to an audience in the film rather than directly to live viewers, these scenes are so lengthy, vulgar, and excessive that his solo performance act becomes an integral part of defining his character and conveying his arc as the film progresses. These scenes start to make the film itself feel like a one-man show. The whole shtick of Henry McHenry’s “Ape of God” show is its perverse irreverence and swaggering machismo. Over the span of what must be a five minute plus scene, Henry hacks up phlegm, pretends to choke himself with his microphone cord, prances across the stage with his bathrobe flapping about, simulates being shot, sprinkles many a misanthropic, charmless monologues in between, and ends by throwing off his robe and mooning the audience before he leaves the stage. (Yes, you see Adam’s ass within the film’s first twenty minutes, and we’re just warming up from there.) His one-man performances demonstrate his egocentrism, penchant for lowbrow and often offensive humor, and the fact that this character has thus far profited from indulging in and acting out his base vulgarities.

While never demonstrating any abundance of good taste, his shows teeter firmly towards the grotesque and unsanctionable as his marriage and mental health deteriorate. This is what I’m referring to when I described the film as a study in discomfiture. As he deteriorates, the later iterations of his stand-up show become utterly unsettling and at times revolting. The film could show mercy and stop at one to two minutes of his more deranged antics, but instead subjects you to a protracted display of just how insane this man might possibly be. In Adam’s hands, these excessive, indulgent performance scenes take on disturbing but intriguing ambiguity, as you again wonder where the performance ends and the real man begins. When Henry confesses to a crime during his show and launces into an elaborate, passionate reenactment on stage, you shift uncomfortably in your seat wondering how much of it might just be true. Wondering just how much of an animal this man truly is.

Watching this film as an Adam fan, these scenes are unparalleled displays of his range and prowess. He’s in turns amusing and revolting; intolerable and pathetic; but always, always riveting. I couldn’t help thinking to myself that for the casual, non Adam-obsessed viewer, the effect of these scenes might stop at crass and unappealing. But in terms of the sheer range and power of acting on display? These scenes are a damn marvel. Through these scenes alone, his performance largely imbues the film with its wild, primal, and vaguely menacing atmosphere.

His stand-up scenes were, to me, some of the most intense of the film – sometimes downright difficult to endure. But they’re only a microcosm of the R A N G E he exhibits throughout the film’s entirety. Let’s talk about how he’s animalistic, menacing, and genuinely unsettling to watch (Leos Carax described him as “feline” at some point, and I 100% see it); and then with a mere subtle twitch of his expression, sheen of his eyes, or slump of his shoulders, he’s suddenly a lost, broken thing.

Henry McHenry is truly to be reviled. Twitter might as well spare their breath and announce he’s already cancelled. He towers above the rest of the cast with intimidating, predatory physicality; he is prone to indulgence in his vices; and he constantly seems at risk of releasing some wild, uncontrollable madness lingering just beneath his surface. But as we all well know, Adam has an unerring talent for lending pathos to even the most objectively condemnable characters.

In a repeated refrain during his first comedy show, the audience keeps asking him, “Why did you become a comedian?” He dodges the question or gives sarcastic answers, until finally circling back to the true answer later in the film. It was something to the effect of: “To disarm people. It’s the only way I can tell the truth without it killing me.” Even for all their sick spectacle, there are also moments in his stand-up shows of disarming vulnerability and (seeming) honesty. In a similar moment of personal exposition, he confesses his temptation and “sympathy for the abyss.” (This phrase is hands down my favorite of the film.) He repeatedly refers to his struggle against “the abyss” and, at the same time, his perceived helplessness against it. “There’s so little I can do, there’s so little I can do,” he sings repeatedly throughout the film - usually just after doing something horrific.

Had he been played by anyone else, the first full look of him warming up before his show - hopping in place and punching the air like some wannabe boxer, interspersing puffs of his cigarette with chowing down on a banana – would have been enough for me to swear him off. His archetype is something of a cliché at this point – a brusque, boorish man who can’t stomach or preserve the love of others due to his own self-loathing. There were multiple points when it was only Adam’s face beneath the character that kept my heart cracked open to him. But sure enough, he wedged his fingers into that tiny crack and pried it wide open. The film’s final few scenes show him at his chin-wobbling best as he crumbles apart in small, mournful subtleties.

(General, semi-spoiler ahead as to the tone of the film’s ending – skip this paragraph if you’d rather avoid.) For a film that professes not to take itself very seriously (how else am I supposed to interpret the freaky puppet baby?), it delivers a harsh, unforgiving ending to its main character. And sure enough, despite how much I might have wanted to distance myself and believe it was only what he deserved, I found myself right there with him, sharing his pain. It is solely testament to Adam’s tireless dedication to breathing both gritty realism and stubborn beauty into his characters that Henry sank a hook into some piece of my sympathy.

Not only does Adam have to be the only actor capable of imbuing Henry with humanity despite his manifold wrongs, he also has to be the only actor capable of the wide-ranging transformations demanded of the role. He starts the movie with long hair and his full refrigerator brick house physique. His physicality and size are actively leveraged to engender a sense of disquiet and unpredictability through his presence. He appears in turns tormented and tormentor. There were moments when I found myself thinking of Conan the Barbarian, simply because his physical presence radiates such wild, primal energy (especially next to tiny, dainty Marion and especially with that long hair). Cannot emphasize enough: The raw sex appeal is off the goddamn charts and had me – a veteran fangirl of 3+ years - shook to my damn core.

The film’s progression then ages him – his hair cut shorter and his face and physique gradually becoming more gaunt. By the film’s end, he has facial prosthetics to make him seem even more stark and borderline sickly – a mirror of his growing internal torment. From a muscular, swaggering powerhouse, he pales and shrinks to a shell of a man, unraveling as his face becomes nearly deformed by time and guilt. He is in turns beautiful and grotesque; sensual and repulsive. I know of no other actor whose face (and its accompanying capacity for expressiveness) could lend itself to such stunning versatility.

Quick note here that he was given a reddish-brown birthmark on the right side of his face for this film?? It becomes more prominent once his hair is shorter in the film’s second half. I’m guessing it was Leos’ idea to make his face even more distinctive and riveting? If so, joke’s on you, Mr. Carax, because we’re always riveted. ☺

I mentioned way up at the beginning that the film is bookended by two scenes where the lines blur between actor and character, and between reality and performance. This comes full circle at the film’s end, with Henry’s final spoken words (this doesn’t give any plot away but skip to the next paragraph if you would rather avoid!) being “Stop watching me.” That’s it. The show is over. He has told his last joke, played out his final act, and now he’s done living his life as a source of cheap, unprincipled laughs and thrills for spectators. The curtain closes with a resounding silence.

Now, I definitely won’t have a section where I talk (of course) about the Ben Solo parallels. He’s haunted by an “abyss” aka darkness inside of him? Bad things happened when he finally gave in and stared into that darkness he knew lived within him? As a result of those tragedies, (SPOILER – Skip to next paragraph to avoid) he then finds himself alone and with no one to love or be loved by? NO I’M DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT IT AT ALL, I’M JUST FINE HERE UNDER MY MOUNTAINS OF TISSUES.

Let’s talk about the music! The film definitely clocks in closer to a rock opera than musical, because almost the entire thing is conveyed through ongoing song, rather than self-contained musical numbers appearing here and there. This actually helps the film’s continuity and pacing, by keeping the characters perpetually in this suspended state of absurdity, always propelled along by some beat or melody. Whenever the film seems on the precipice of tipping all the way into the bleak and dark, the next whimsical tune kicks in to reel us all blessedly back. For example, after (SPOILER #1) happens, there’s a hard cut to the bright police station where several officers gather around Henry, bopping about and chattering on the beat “Questions! We have a few questions!”

Adam integrates his singing into his performance in such a way that it seems organic. I realized after the film that I never consciously considered the quality of his singing along the way. For all that I talked about the film maintaining the atmosphere of a fourth wall-defying performance piece, Adam’s singing is so fully immersed in the embodiment of his character that you almost forget he’s singing. Rather, this is simply how Henry McHenry exists. His stand-up scenes are the only ones in the film that do frequently transition back and forth between speaking and singing, but it’s seamlessly par for the course in Henry’s bizarre, dour show. He breaks into his standard “Now laugh!” number with uninterrupted sarcasm and contempt. There were certainly a few soft, poignant moments when his voice warbled in a tender vibrato you couldn’t help noticing – but otherwise, the singing was simply an extension of that full-body persona he manages to convey with such apparent ease and naturalism.

On the music itself: I’ll admit that the brief clip of “We Love Each Other So Much” we got a few weeks ago made me a tad nervous. It seemed so cheesy and ridiculous? But okay, you really can’t take anything from this movie out of context. Otherwise it is, indeed, utterly ridiculous. Not that none of it is ever ridiculous in context either, but I’m giving you assurances right now that it WORKS. Once you’re in the flow of constant singing and weirdness abound, the songs sweep you right along. Some of the songs lack a distinctive hook or melody and are moreso rhythmic vehicles for storytelling, but it’s now a day later and I still have three of the songs circulating pleasantly in my head. “We Love Each Other So Much” was actually the stand out for me and is now my favorite of the soundtrack. It’s reprised a few times later in the film, growing increasingly melancholy each time it is echoed, and it hits your heart a bit harder each time. The final song sung during (SPOILER #2), though without a distinctive melody to lodge in my head, undoubtedly left me far more moved than a spoken version of this scene would have. Adam’s singing is so painfully desperate and earnest here, and he takes the medium fully under his command.

Finally, it does have to be said that parts of this film veer fully towards the ridiculous and laughable. The initial baby version of the Annette puppet-doll was nothing short of horrifying to me. Annette gets more center-stage screen time in the film’s second half, which gives itself over to a few special effects sequences which look to be flying out at you straight from 2000 Windows Movie Maker. The scariest part is that it all seems intentional. The quality special effects appear when necessary (along with some unusual and captivating time lapse shots), which means the film’s most outrageous moments are fully in line with its guiding spirit. Its extravagant self-indulgence nearly borders on camp.

...And with that, I’ve covered the majority of the frantic notes I took for further reflection immediately after viewing. It’s now been a few days, and I’m looking forward to rewatching this movie when I can hopefully take it in a bit more fully. This time, I won’t just be struggling to keep up with the madness on screen. My concluding thoughts at this point: Is it my favorite Adam movie? Certainly not. Is it the most unforgettable? Aside from my holy text, The Last Jedi, likely yes. It really is the sort of thing you have to see twice to even believe it. And all in all, I say again that Adam truly carried this movie, and he fully inhabits even its highest, most ludicrous aspirations. He’s downright abhorrent in this film, and that’s exactly what makes him such a fucking legend.

I plan to make a separate post in the coming days about my experience at Cannes and the Annette red carpet, since a few people have asked! I can’t even express how damn good it feels to be globetrotting for Adam-related experiences again. <3

Thanks so much for reading! Feel free to ask me any further questions at all here or on Twitter! :)

*SYNOPSIS INCLUDED BELOW. DO NOT READ FURTHER IF AVOIDING SPOILERS!*

Synopsis: Comedian Henry McHenry and opera singer Ann Defrasnoux are both at the pinnacle of their respective success when they fall in love and marry. The marriage is happy and passionate for a time, leading to the birth of their (puppet) daughter, Annette. But tabloids and much of the world believe the crude, brutish Henry is a poor match for refined, idolized Ann. Ann and Henry themselves both begin to feel that something is amiss – Henry gradually losing his touch for his comedy craft, claiming that being in love is making him ill. He repeatedly and sardonically references how Ann’s opera career involves her “singing and dying” every night, to the point that he sees visions of her “dead” body on the stage. Meanwhile, Ann has a nightmare of multiple women accusing Henry of abusive and violent behavior towards them, and she begins growing wary in his presence. (He never acts abusively towards her, unless you count that scene when he tickles her feet and licks her toes while she’s telling him to stop??? Yeah I know, WILD.)

The growing sense of unease, that they’re both teetering on the brink of disaster, culminates in the most deranged of Henry’s stand-up comedy performances, when he gives a vivid reenactment of killing his wife by “tickling her to death.” The performance is so maudlin and unsettling that you wonder whether he’s not making it up at all, and the audience strongly rebukes him. (This is the “What is your problem?!” scene with tiddies out. The full version includes Adam storming across the stage, furiously singing/yelling, “What the FUCK is your problem?!”) But when Henry arrives home that night, drunk and raucous, Ann and Annette are both unharmed.

The couple take a trip on their boat, bringing Annette with them. The boat gets caught in a storm, and Henry drunkenly insists that he and Ann waltz in the storm. She protests that it’s too dangerous and begs him to see sense. (SPOILER #1) The boat lurches when Henry spins her, and Ann falls overboard to her death. Henry rescues Annette from the sinking boat and rows them both to shore. He promptly falls unconscious, and a ghost of Ann appears, proclaiming her intention to haunt Henry through Annette. Annette (still a toddler at this point and yes, still a wooden puppet) then develops a miraculous gift for singing, and Henry decides to take her on tour with performances around the world. He enlists the help of his “conductor friend,” who had been Ann’s accompanist and secretly had an affair with her before she met Henry.

Henry slides further into drunken debauchery as the tour progresses, while the Conductor looks after Annette and the two grow close. Once the tour concludes, the Conductor suggests to Henry that Annette might be his own daughter – revealing his prior affair with Ann. Terrified by the idea of anyone finding out and the possibility of losing his daughter, Henry drowns the Conductor in the pool behind his and Ann’s house. Annette sees the whole thing happen from her bedroom window.

Henry plans one last show for Annette, to be held in a massive stadium at the equivalent of the Super Bowl. But when Annette takes the stage, she refuses to sing. Instead, she speaks and accuses Henry of murder. (“Daddy kills people,” are the actual words – not that that was creepy to hear as this puppet’s first spoken words or anything.)

Henry stands trial, during which he sees an apparition of Ann from when they first met. They sing their regret that they can’t return to the happiness they once shared, until the apparition is replaced by Ann’s vengeful spirit, who promises to haunt Henry in prison. After his sentencing (it’s not clear what the sentence was, but Henry definitely isn’t going free), Annette is brought to see him once in prison. Speaking fully for the first time, she declares she can’t forgive her parents for using her: Henry for exploiting her voice for profit and Ann for presumably using her to take vengeance on Henry. (Yes, this is why she was an inanimate doll moving on strings up to this point – there was some meaning in that strange, strange artistic choice. She was the puppet of her parents’ respective egotisms.) The puppet of Annette is abruptly replaced by a real girl in this scene, finally enabling two-sided interaction and a long-missed genuine connection between her and Henry, which made this quite the emotional catharsis. (SPOILER #2) It concludes with Annette still unwilling to forgive or forget what her parents have done, and swearing never to sing again. She says Henry now has “no one to love.” He appeals, “Can’t I love you, Annette?” She replies, “No, not really.” Henry embraces her one last time before a guard takes her away and Henry is left alone.

…..Yes, that is the end. It left me with major emotional whiplash, after the whole film up to this point kept pulling itself back from the total bleak and dark by starting up a new toe-tapping, mildly silly tune every few minutes. But this last scene instead ends on a brutal note of harsh, unforgiving silence.

BUT! Make sure you stick around through the credits, when you see the cast walking through a forest together. (This is counterpart to the film’s opening, when you see the cast walking through LA singing “So May We Start?” directly to the audience) Definitely pay attention to catch Adam chasing/playing with the little girl actress who plays Annette! That imparts a much nicer feeling to leave the theater with. :’)

#Adam Driver #Annette #Cannes 2021 #driverdaily #Annette spoilers

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goddesswritings · 4 years ago

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Feel Me - Dylan O’Brien

Title: Feel Me

Pairing: Dylan O’Brien x OC

Summary: This is Y/n’s first non-indie movie, which is exciting. But she also get’s to work with the amazing Dylan O’Brien. He plays her love interest in the film. This causes some sexual tension between the two. Do they break down and let their feelings get to them, or do they pretend there is nothing going on?

Words: 7.8k

Notes: This is a fic I have been working on for four years. I was never able to find the perfect person for this fic but getting back into Dylan gave me the perfect person. Let me know if you want to see how these two act in interviews for their movie. Perhaps, she will even get a role for the new TW stuff.

Masterlist

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“Okay you two have great chemistry and I want to see it in the next scene. I need to see that passion that will have the audience believing you’re really in love. Which isn’t hard when you have such a beautiful costar like, Y/n. Right Dylan?” The director said to the two of you as you were setting up for the next scene.

Dylan laughed and pulled you close, “You’re right. She’s quite easy to get along with and our chemistry is just on fire. We’ll pull it off. Right Y/n?” He asked you sending you a look that had you melting to the floor.

“Oh yes we will.” You quickly agreed. How could you say anything else when you were really close to Dylan O’Brien? It was amazing that you were getting the chance to work with him and even more so that you were his love interest. So, it’s safe to say you had a huge crush on him that just seemed to grow each day that you worked with him.

To make matters worse, or better in some people’s eyes. Dylan and you were getting ready to do a hot sex scene for this film. You’d read over the script about a hundred times, memorizing each and every word on the pages. You still blushed when you thought about that fact that you would have to fake sex in front of a camera with Dylan O’Brien. You would be nearly naked in front of him. It would be a miracle if you didn’t pass out.

“Good, good. I know you two have read over the script a few times and you’re ready. Now I don’t expect it to be perfect on the first try, but I know you both will do good. Dylan, I want you to rush in the minute she opens the door and pull her into a kiss. Make it look very unexpected. Then you can push her into the wall and take it from there. Any nerves Y/n?” The director asked you.

You blushed and shook your head, “No, I’m fine. I’m ready.” Last night you barely slept because you couldn’t stop thinking about what was about to happen. God you were really going to be ravaged by Dylan on film. God something about that thought was a huge turn on.

“Don’t worry, I will take good care of you.” Dylan said before moving into place, and you blushed before moving into place as well. Your heart was beating so fast right now.

The director surveyed the two of you to make sure you were ready before taking his place behind the camera. Your mind was going a mile a minute right now. Oh gosh, you were essentially about to have sex on camera. Well except there would be no penetration or like actual pleasure.

“Action!” He yelled, and you snapped out of your mind.

Almost immediately Dylan knocked on the door in front of you. You took a deep breath before opening it. Dylan rushed in and pulled you into a kiss, a deeply passionate kiss. You acted surprised and essentially you were because who wouldn’t be surprise when Dylan O’Brien rushed in to kiss you, even if you knew it was going to happen.

You felt him walking you both backwards as you continued to kiss. The kiss was getting hotter and he bit your lip and caused you to open your mouth and let him in. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders to pull him closer. He pushed you against the wall and leaned close.

“Fuck you’re so sexy.” Dylan whispered very softly so that the camera wouldn’t pick it up. You thought he was just really into the scene.

You moaned into his mouth and he lifted your legs up to wrap around his waist, making you even closer to him. You were surprised to feel a bulge forming. Was this actually turning him on? You know you were turned on.

Dylan separated from the kiss like the script had said and attached his lips to your neck, immediately sucking and biting various spots on your neck. It felt like he was trying to find your sensitive spot and it didn’t take him long until you moaned a genuine moan as he nibbled on the spot that had you writhing in his arms.

“Do you want to go further, baby?” Dylan asked separating from your neck. He was breathing hard and looked like he was trying to stay in control.

“Yes, oh yes.” You moaned making him smile. Dylan quickly moved the two of you away from the wall and the director yelled cut.

“Wow, great job guys. Dylan you really sold the part. My god Y/n, those moans sounded so real.” He went on smiling like a lunatic.

Well Mr. Director, those moans were real.

“Are you guys ready for the bed scene?” He questioned Dylan and you.

You were so nervous. In all the works you’d acted in, you’d never done an actual sex scene. Also, you’d never had such an attractive love interest that actually managed to turn you on. From day one of this movie, it felt like Dylan was teasing you. It felt like he knew that you had been crushing on him ever since you saw him first act.

“Can we have ten minutes to get comfortable?” Dylan asked before you could respond.

The director looked at you and then nodded, “Oh yes, that’s totally fine. Take your time.” He walked off leaving you alone with Dylan.

Dylan grabbed your hand and pulled you into the direction of his trailer. Once you both reached it, he shut the door behind you and motioned for you to sit down. For some reason, your nerves were going crazy. You felt like he was going to tell you he didn’t want to do the scene with you.

“I thought that we should talk before we went ahead and had fake sex in front of a camera. It’s your first time, right?” Dylan asked taking a seat beside you.

It sounded like he was asking if you were a virgin and that thought made you blush, “Oh yes, it is.” You said softly.

“It’s best if we talk through boundaries and get more comfortable around each other. I mean I’m extremely comfortable around you, but you’re usually so quiet when we aren’t shooting, so I don’t know how you are.”

Dylan was being so thoughtful, and it made you smile, “Thank you Dylan. I’m actually amazingly comfortable. I mean I have had two months to get used to this sex scene and I feel like I’m ready. Are you?”

“Oh babe, I’m always ready.” He sent a wink your way.

The room suddenly felt hotter and you wondered if he could feel it.

“Um alright. So, what are your boundaries?”

“Well I virtually have none, especially since the scene is so straightforward. I’m more worried about you since this will be your first time doing this on camera. We need to make it look convincing and after what you just did out there, I have no doubt you can do that. But please tell me where your boundaries lie.”

“Okay, well I don’t feel like there will be many to be honest. I want to make the scene look as real as possible and I’m willing to do whatever it takes to do that. I’ve already agreed to go shirtless on camera, so I think anything we do won’t be too shocking to me.”

Dylan nodded his head, “Alrighty then, do you trust me?”

“Of course, I do, you know the scenes well and are an amazing actor.”

He smiled, “Then will you allow me to lead you through the scene?”

Honestly, this proposition made you feel better about the scene, “You will do that for me?”

“Yes, I will. You’ve had sex before, right?”

You blushed a deep crimson when he asked that, “Oh yes I have.” But honestly the three encounters were nothing short of disappointing and not pleasurable for you at all.

“Great, then this won’t be hard at all. I will help you through the scene and it will be over before you know it.”

But you didn’t want it to go by too quickly. You loved that you would be able to spend a short amount of time experiencing just a fraction of what Dylan could offer in bed. You’d only fantasized it almost every night for the last two weeks.

“Okay, are we ready?” You questioned more than ready to do this.

“I believe we are. I’m going to take good care of you out on set.” Those words set the butterflies in motion. Dylan was too sweet to you.

The two of you entered set and immediately gained the attention of the director, “You two ready for the scene?”

“We’re ready to go.” Dylan said staying close to you as they set up around you both.

“Great, I suppose the two of you know what is supposed to happen. Now I don’t want this to look like some porn video, I need to see genuine feelings. I chose the two of you because your past work has proven that you’re more than capable of giving me what I need.” The director spoke to the two of you and looked through his script. “Let’s do this. Places on set.”

Your nerves crashed back into you when you realized you were about to be half naked on set, in front of one of your favorite actors.

Dylan leaned into you, “Take a deep breath Y/n, everything will be alright.” You nodded and listened to his words before you were told to take your place on set, which would be in Dylan’s arms, leaning against the door frame in an intense make out session.

Dylan pulled you into his arms and pressed you into the door frame, “Remember, deep breath.” He whispered before the two of you got into position and he picked you up in his arms again. As soon as the director called action, the both of you got right back to kissing. It felt like you had continued where you both left off.

You both kissed for a long while until you got the cue to start moving to the bed. He set you at the edge of the bed while still kissing you. His hands had started to wander your body, feeling your soft curves that were hidden beneath the clothes you were wearing. His hand traveled under your shirt and he rested them on your bare skin, rubbing slow calming circles into your skin, all while still kissing you with a wild passion.

His hands then began to push your shirt up, revealing more of your skin. His hands on your bare skin sent shivers through your body. He pulled away and lifted the shirt over your head and threw it behind him. This was your cue to pull off his shirt as well, so you both continued to kiss as you pushed his shirt up and then pulled it over his head and threw it on the ground with yours.

Your body was on fire and you were so turned on at this point. Everything felt so real and you wanted it to be much more than just what the two of you were doing for the camera. You needed Dylan, but you had to pretend that you didn’t. This was surely going to be hell.

“Oh baby, you’re so hot.” Dylan said his line so perfectly, but you could hear the lust in his voice. The pure genuine lust, that you were sure you’d giving him.

“I need you.” You whined, sitting up and pulling him closer by his belt loops. He stood between your legs as you ran your hands up and down his smooth muscular chest. The feeling of his taut smooth skin beneath your hands, was enough to make you wet. You really did need him, but not on set. Preferably in private, where he could fuck you just the way you wanted it.

“It’s coming, baby.” He pushed you back on the bed and his hands founds the button to your jeans, which he quickly popped and unzipped the jeans. With slow and sensual movements, he moved the jeans down your legs. Kissing every bit of newly exposed skin as he pulled the fabric from your body. You had answered the door having bare feet, so he had no need to remove any shoes.

“You’re so ready for me.” He commented, looking up at you from his spot between your legs. His eyes traveled down to your panties and suddenly you were very aware of how wet you were. You were sure he could see the evidence in front of him, but you hoped to god no one else could see it.

“Stop teasing me.” Your voice came out a little more whiney than you had wanted it but that only made him smirk. He knew just how worked up he had made you.

“Okay baby girl.” Suddenly he started kissing up my legs, moving closer to your soaking wet heat. You hoped he wasn’t going to do what you thought he was going to do. He couldn’t do that on camera. He reached your upper thighs, and placed wet kisses on them, sending shivers through your body. Skipping over your soaked pussy, he was kissing your stomach, moving up your body at a snails pace.

“You’re teasing me, Tommy.” You said the line, keeping the moans from falling from your mouth. His lips on your skin was absolute heaven. You wanted to feel his lips everywhere and anywhere.

“I’m sorry Holly, I just love your body.” The lust was even more evident as he stopped beneath your breasts. Nerves flashed through your body as his hand traveled behind your back to unclasp the grey lacy bra you’d been given in wardrobe. He was about to see you half-naked. Everyone was about to see you half-naked.

“Cut.” The director yelled as his hands found the clasp. You heard him groan lowly in dissatisfaction and it make you giggle from beneath him.

“You two are doing amazing. I love it, I do but there’s something missing from this scene.” The director drawled as he entered the set.

You and Dylan looked at him, waiting for him to figure out what was missing. You honestly felt like everything is perfect and the evidence of that was coating your panties at this very moment. But you weren’t the director, so you couldn’t have the last word about it.

“Give me five minutes to mull it over and we will resume the scene.” He said walking away from you both.

Once again, a groan left Dylan’s mouth. “I was really getting into it.” He mumbled and once again you giggled. His eyes met yours and he raised his eyebrows at you. “You seemed to be getting quite into it as well, my sweet Y/n.” He was still leaning over you, with his face inches from your heaving bust.

“No, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You whispered, letting heat cover your cheeks.

“Oh, you don’t. So, you’re not soaking wet right now?” His words knocked you out of your reverie.

“Not at all.” You lied through my teeth.

“Sure.” Suddenly a hand started traveling down your body, not stopping until it reached the top of your panties. “So, if I put my hand down your panties, I won’t find that you’re soaked?”

Blush covered your cheeks. You never thought you’d hear those words from him.

“Don’t be shy, sweet girl. It’s perfectly normal.” Suddenly his strong hand moved below your panties, traveling the length of your slit and gathering some of the wetness there before he removed his fingers. A smirk graced his face as he pulled his fingers from your panties and examined them before popping them into his mouth and sucking the juices from his fingers.

“Oh, baby girl. You’re wetter than I thought, and you taste absolutely delicious.” If you weren’t already gushing your panties, you were now.

“Alright, let’s get back into position.” The director came back to set and saw you both in the same position. “Oh perfect, the two of you are ready. Let’s just pick up from where we left off.” He stated, going behind the camera once again.

“Action!” He yelled, and you two were right back into the scene.

Dylan was back to kissing his way up to your chest and reaching behind you again, to remove the bra. He was quick to remove it this time, wanting to move on with the scene. A growl left his lips as he removed the bra to reveal your perky breasts. You honestly couldn’t tell if that growl was a part of his character or real, but it sure had you going.

“So perfect.” He whispered while taking one of your breasts into his hand, cupping it in his large hand. You moaned at the feeling, biting your lip, and throwing your head back. Especially when he started squeezing it while the length of his body rubbed on you.

This was your cue to push him up and throw him on his back, while you straddle him. It all happened in a matter of seconds and Dylan was on his back, staring up at you with those handsome amber eyes of his. You straddled his waist proudly, grinding yourself down onto him as his hands gripped your waist.

“I need you now, Tommy. Let’s stop wasting time.” You ground, moving down, and unbuckling his jeans. His shoes had been removed somewhere in the mix of us making it to the bed. You quickly pulled the jeans from his legs, which was surprisingly easy. Dylan laid in the bed, in only his blue briefs, which weren’t doing much to hide what he had to offer.

“Cut!” The director said as you climbed back onto his waist. “Okay, now we’re going to cut scenes to the main event. We’re going to conceal the fact that you still have clothes on with that sheet. Get into position.” He explained to us.

Dylan helped you from the bed and pulled the sheet down and laid back down on the bed. You positioned yourself on him once again, while some of the set help came to position the sheet to cover your lower halves, to serve the illusion you two were really having sex.

“Perfect. Everyone back into position. Also, I want some more moans, maybe a little hair pulling.” He explained before yelling action once again.

This time, when the camera started rolling, you were wrapped in his arms and you both were locked in a passionate kiss. Now you were supposed to “ride” him, but really just move your hips to drive the illusion further.

Dylan kissed you with more passion than the previous kisses you two had shared and rolled his hips up, sending them colliding with yours and causing his bulge to rub up again your soaking heat. You moaned out loud and gripped his arms as the kiss continued. His hips continued thrusting up, causing him to rub even more. The moans falling from your mouth were real at this point.

“Fuck baby, I love when you moan like that.” His deep voice only served to further your current lust for him. You pressed yourself down onto him, meeting his thrusts and rubbing your swollen clit against his bulge.

Suddenly you were on your back and Dylan was above you. “Tommy, keep it up.” You moaned into his ear, losing your breath as his bulge bumped your heat again and again. You could feel the juices flowing from you and you hoped you would be able to hide that fact once the scene was done.

All thoughts were on Dylan and how he was actually pleasuring you, while the two of you were on camera. Your fingernails embedded themselves into his back, just like the script read but this was a completely real reaction from you. Your head was thrown back in pleasure and his lips attacked your neck as the thrusts continued. You two were dry humping, he had to be getting pleasure out of this. There’s no way he wasn’t.

“You feel so good, baby girl.” He moaned into your ear and you could hear just how much this had affected him as well. You pressed yourself into him a little harder, feeling a distinct jerk from his clothed cock. His poor cock was so aroused with nowhere to go. You so desperately wanted to free it from its prison and slip the lengthy member into your soaking pussy.

You moaned loudly as he hit a particularly good spot that had your panties completely soaked through and through. There was no doubt, the evidence would be there when you both finished. His movements increased, bringing even more pleasure to your little clit, causing you to wrap your legs around his waist and moan even more than before. You were on a trip to heaven and he knew this. He knew you were only seconds from orgasming, and he was willing to take it that far.

To delay an orgasm, you pulled your hips away from his, but his arm wrapped around your body and pulled you against his body again, continuing the tortuous thrusting that was taking place at the moment. He was trying to make you cum in front of all these people, what a sneaky man.

“Cum for me, Holly. I know how close you are.” You swear he wanted to say Y/n, you could just tell but he had managed to save himself. You let out a scream as an intense orgasm overtook your body, absolutely soaking his boxers in the process. Even as the orgasm hit, he continued his torture for the camera. Following the script closely. He was going to make this good for the audience.

The two of you finally slowed down the thrusting and you both dropped down to the bed. His arms were still wrapped around you and his crotch was flush with your soaked pussy. A cheeky smirk graced his face as he took your face in his hands and kissed your swollen lips.

“Oh Holly, I love you so much.” The words that were meant for your character, sent your heart into a frenzy.

“I love you.” You answered back before cuddling up into his chest as he pulled the sheet up over your bodies. The little movement caused more juice to gush from you. You were in a state of shock about the fact you’d actually came on set with Dylan O’Brien. Your sexy as fuck co-star just dry humped you to an orgasm in a room full of people.

“Cut!” The director yelled. You both opened our eyes to see a huge smile upon his face. “That was perfect! You two really killed that scene. We’re done for the day. Thanks for the killer acting you two.” Acting was definitely not something that happened just then, but you just nodded. “We’ll see you Monday, take the weekend off you two.” He said before leaving Dylan and you, half naked on set.

“Well my sweet Y/n. That sure was some great acting. I can sure feel the evidence of that.” He whispered glance down at his covered boxers.

Of course, you were blushing again.

He wrapped an arm around you from the side and pulled you close. “No need to be embarrassed, baby. That was the sexiest thing ever. I fucking loved it and I wouldn’t mind doing that again. Maybe this time we can do it for real?”

You didn’t know how to reply but both your set assistants saved us by bringing thick blue robes over for you two to cover up in. “Thank you, Millie.” You said wrapping the soft fabric around your exposed body. You quickly excused yourself from set and retreated back to your trailer. Your body was so worked up at this point and you desperately needed a shower to clean up from that intense orgasm Dylan had given you.

After that hot scene, you needed a shower to clean up the evidence of that orgasm Dylan had given you without even trying. It was crazy that you even allowed for that to happen. You never let your guard down like that but somehow, Dylan made you bring the walls down to feel like that on set, in front of a bunch of people.

You retreated back to your trailer and hopped into the shower, to wash away the sweat that had formed while you faked sex for the big screen. The shower felt nice and it definitely relaxed you even more. You were sure the only person who knew you’d come on set, was Dylan. It was his goal to make me come, you were sure of it. You’d attempted to pull away from his hips, but he had pulled you back, knowing you were seconds from a huge orgasm. He was a sneaky guy.

Once you finished in the shower, you exited the bathroom and put the robe back around your body once you’d dried off sufficiently. A knock at the door was heard as you entered the main area of the trailer. You assumed it was your agent or someone from set, but you were wrong. Dylan O’Brien was waiting behind the door, fully dressed as opposed to the last time you’d seen him. He let himself into the trailer without an invitation. You shut the door and turned towards him.

“What are you doing here?” You asked as he took a seat on your couch. His eyes roamed up and down your body, and an appreciative smirk graced his face, which caused you to blush.

“I was hoping you would agree to go out for a drink with me, to celebrate a good day of shooting.” His voice was as sexy as ever and his eyes didn’t leave your body.

“Oh sure, I just need to get dressed.”

“Who said you needed clothes.” Dylan was being cheeky, and he knew that.

“I would prefer not to go in public naked.”

“You were half naked just now, out on set.”

“That was different.” You were about to go into the back to get clothes when he caught your hand and pulled you between his legs.

“You know, your body is sexy, right? I think men aren’t going to be able to control themselves when they see it on the big screen.” His hands moved to your hips and he pulled you close, resting his head on your stomach.

“They’re only going to see my breasts.” You countered, not wanting to really hear about what men would do once they saw your body. You’d never been really confident in what you had, and it took a lot to get yourself to agree to do it for this movie.

He chuckled and nuzzled his face into the fabric of the robe you were wearing. “I could barely control myself out there. You felt how you make me feel.”

You tried to step back, but he held you in place. “You probably do that with every sex scene you do.” You hadn’t wanted to think about his past movies and the past women he’s had to shoot with, but that thought was always in the back of your mind.

“I don’t. My co-stars don’t really measure up to you. They never made me feel the way you make me feel, Y/n.” You tried to detect any lies, but you couldn’t really tell. You wanted to believe him, but he was a well-known actor and you didn’t think he could really feel something for you. A newcomer actress who’d only ever acted in Indie movies so far.

“That can’t be true.” Once again, you tried to pull away only to be pulled back.

“It’s true. The chemistry we feel, it’s new to me. I’ve never fit well with any other actresses I have acted with. It’s easy with you and I feel like I don’t have to fake the feelings like I had done in the past.” His words were genuine.

“Dylan, how could you feel that for me. I’m nothing special and I’m still new to Hollywood.”

“Y/n, you’re gorgeous and absolutely perfect in my eyes. I’ve never seen any flaws in what you do and if there is, you hide them well. You act with this elegance that inspires me. You have brought me back to the feelings I had when I first began acting. With you, everything is great.”

“Wow, Dylan. I had no idea you felt this way. You know I have admired you since you began acting. Seeing you on the big screen inspired me to jump into it and actually audition for something. I never thought I would ever have the chance to act beside you in a movie and yet here I am. Everyday here on set, has been amazing and a dream.”

“So, does that mean you have feelings for me?” He questioned as his golden amber eyes stared up into yours.

“Well of course it does.” You admitted when he pulled you into his lap and kissed your lips with this unwavering passion that you’d felt pieces of when you’d been on set. His lips on yours felt like heaven on earth or they had transported you there, either way, his lips were amazing. You gave into the kiss and returned the passion he was giving you. You wanted him to know you felt the same way.

His arms wrapped around your waist, joining behind your back, and pulling you closer. Somehow, you had wound your legs around his waist, forgetting completely that all you had on was a robe. It was the last thing on your mind as the kiss consumed you completely. You honestly felt like this was something you’ve never experience before, and you loved every second of it. His lips were becoming dominate and you accepted it and loved it because you wanted more, no you needed more. You needed to feel all of what he was feeling for you and you could definitely feel that through the kiss.

“Your lips are so soft.” He mumbled as you two parted for a brief moment. You took initiative and pulled him back into the kiss. The craving has reigned you in as you bit his lip. He hadn’t expected it, but he loved it because he smirked into the kiss.

Your arms were wound around his shoulders, pulling you closer to him. You felt like you needed to get even closer to him and he felt it as well, because his grip on you had only grown tighter but not uncomfortably so. It was nice to be wrapped up in his arms like this, no one had really made you feel the way he did. He brought out intense feelings from you.

This time, he bit your lip and you opened your mouth in a gasp, surprised at the move. He took the chance to join your tongues in a blissful move. You savored the feelings and tastes you received from him. He tasted like spearmint gum and a hint of coffee from the morning you suppose. It was an overall pleasant taste.

You needed more, so you started to grind yourself down onto him as the kiss continued to overtake the two of you. It was then that you were reminded you were only wearing a robe, because your naked heat is what came into contact with the bulge that was covered in jeans. A whimper left your mouth as the pleasure shot through your body, which was still sensitive from the scene on set.

He pulled away from the kiss. “You forgot you were naked, didn’t you?” He asked with a sexy grin gracing his handsome face.

“Yes, because you came in here and started ravaging me with kisses and I forgot what I had been doing before you came.” You admitted as his hips jerked up into yours, the fabric of the jeans, colliding with your uncovered clit. You cried out in surprise. “You’re not making this easier for me.”

“I don’t want to, baby. I want you. I actually want to feel what it would be like to be inside you. That was pure torture on set. I was seconds away from pulling our underwear off and thrusting into you, I didn’t care who was there on set with us.”

“Oh, I was seconds away from doing the same thing, but I think that would have made our movie into a porn and the director didn’t want that.”

His teeth nibbled on your neck, making you moan out loud. “Well he’s not here right now.”

“Do you want to go further?” Once again, he thrust up, and you were soaking at the torture.

“Yes, I do. Do you want to?” His lips were now covering your neck with small little fluttering kisses that made you feel good.

“I do.” You confirmed, knowing that this was something you wanted.

Without another word, Dylan found the ties to your robe and quickly untied them. The robe fell open, revealing your completely naked body to him. His hands wasted no time in touching and stroking the newly exposed skin. One of his hands wrapped around one of your breasts, he kneaded it making you moan out.

“You like that.” He looked up into your eyes. His whiskey eyes were now fully clouded with lust as he played with you. “I bet you would like it if I touched your wet pussy?” He said. His free hand traveled down your stomach, moving at an achingly slow pace down to your pulsing sex. Finally, after ages, his fingers found your aroused clit. It moved lower to feel the wetness that was coming from your pussy. “Baby girl is so wet for me.”

The way he said that, made you moan out. He smirked at the sound, happy with himself for making you moan at the smallest touch.

“Yes, that’s right baby. I want to hear how good I make you feel.” His wet fingers moved back to your clit, rubbing tortuous circles on the little hard button of nerves.

You bit your lip which he didn’t like. Dylan’s hand left your breast and pulled your lip from your teeth. “No, we’re not going to hold back.”

He was wearing too much clothing. “You’re way too dressed.” His fingers were still rubbing your clit, but you moved to pull his shirt off. He had to remove his fingers while you did this but he quickly replaced them, making you whimper at the touch.

“I love how sensitive I have made you.” The grin on his face was so sexy. You moaned and threw your head back with pleasure. “I need to taste you.”

Dylan removed his fingers and stood up. He kicked off his shoes before taking your hand and leading you back to the bed. As he walked, he unbuttoned his pants. In the bedroom, he pushed you back on the bed. Then he removed his pants and this huge bulge was suddenly on display. It was mouthwateringly sexy.

“What was it that you were saying? You wanted to taste me.” You spread your legs, revealing your swollen and aroused pussy. Your fingers stroked through your folds, teasing both yourself and Dylan.

He growled and fell to his knees. Grabbing a hold of your legs, he yanked you to the edge of the bed. Then he spread your legs before diving into your soaked heat.

His tongue went right for your clit, circling it the way his fingers had. His hands gripped your thighs as he focused on your hard-little clit. Two fingers pushed into your entrance, filling you up. You moaned as he expertly pleasured you.

“Oh fuck, just like that.” It was hard not to want to just completely lose it when the hottest guy ever was going down on you. It was a dream come true.

He hummed against your clit, sending another jolt of pleasure through your body. You buried your hands into his dark hair as he sucked your clit into his perfect mouth. This made your hips buck up for attention.

Dylan pulled away and looked up at you. “How close are you, baby girl?” He questioned before diving back in.

“So close. Keep going, Dyl. I want to come.” You let out a loud moan as he quickened the pace of his fingers that were pumping in and out of you.

He focused all his attention on the buzzing bundle of nerves, knowing that would bring you to your much-desired end.

As your orgasm hit you head on, the blinding pleasure took over your body. You screamed out his name as he continued his torture on your sensitive pussy. He looked extremely pleased with what he’d done. Dylan cleaned up your juices before lifting his face from your pussy. He was covered in your essence.

“That was so fucking hot.” Dylan moved up the bed, so he was hovering over you and pulled you into a sexy kiss. “You taste amazing.” He moaned against your lips.

As you came down from your orgasm, he rubbed his hard cock against your sex. His cock was still covered, but you were dying to take off the last remaining clothing that separated the two of you.

“I need more, Dylan.” You whispered as his bulge thrust against you.

“Tell me what you want, baby.” Dylan was totally turning you on with the slight Dom tone he’d taken on.

“You know what I want, Dyl.” Your hand traveled down his body grip his hardened cock. He groaned and grabbed both your hands, pinning them above your head.

“You have to be more specific for me, sweetheart.” He was purposely teasing you now.

You bit your lip before letting out a long moan. “I need you to fuck me, Dylan. Fuck me and show me how much I turn you on.”

The smirk on his face told you that was what he’d wanted. “Good. I can’t wait to fuck this beautiful little pussy. It’s already so wet and willing again.” He moved off you and went to his pants, pulling out a condom.

You sat up and watched Dylan push his briefs from his hips. Then he rolled on the condom. He was deliberately slow and taking his time. He was watching you closely. Once he’d put it on, he made his way back to you.

“Well baby, I think I want to see you ride my cock right now.” He pulled you up and took a seat on the bed. You wasted no time placing his ready cock at your entrance. Once he felt you, he pushed forward, burying himself in your wet walls.

He filled you up in a way that had you losing your mind. His cock was something you could easily get addicted to.

Dylan started moving inside you, which made you start to move on top of him. You swirled your hips as you rode his cock. This was actually a first for you. Your previous encounters never really grew out of the boring missionary. They clearly knew nothing of the pleasure that came with having someone ride your cock.

His hands found your hips as you continued your movements on top of him. He was moaning out loud now, which told you he liked what you were doing.

You pushed him back, so he was laying down and started to ride him harder than before. The feel of his thick cock filling you up, was pure bliss. It had your next orgasm building up quickly. Dylan’s hands reached up to cup your breasts, playing with them as you continued your work.

There was a certain power that came with watching a man fall apart under you. Knowing you were the one who was pleasuring him to the point where he couldn’t contain his moans. You loved it. Most guys weren’t keen about letting the woman take control. Dylan didn’t seem to worried at all about this, it seemed he loved you taking control.

Your second orgasm hit, and you could no longer keep control on top of him. He saw this and took the opportunity to flip you under him. His cock was still inside your pulsing walls, but he was allowing your orgasm to pass before he started on you again.

As soon as you’d calmed down, he started his assault again and began pumping in and out of you. His hands were gripping your waist as he did this. The feeling of your still pulsing walls, on his cock, was heaven and he’d been wanting this since the first moment he met you for this movie. He’d felt the amazing chemistry that led to this connection the two of you shared.

You wrapped your legs around his waist, allowing him to dive in deeper inside of you. He captured your lips in a hot kiss. It was safe to say the two of you were lost in each other. Just being wrapped up in him was amazingly perfect. You loved it.

“Fuck, Dylan.” You whimpered as his cock brushed past your g-spot. Your third orgasm was building, but you wanted him to cum before you. He needed to. “Cum for me, Dyl. I want to feel you explode inside of me.” You whispered this into his ear, feeling his cock twitch at those words.

“Yes! You feel so fucking good around me.” He moaned as he let go. He came into the condom, but you still felt him explode while he was inside you and it was sexy. It triggered your third orgasm too, making you moan his name out loud. He loved hearing you say his name in the moment of intense pleasure. The look on your face just turned him.

As soon as the orgasms were over, Dylan gingerly set you back on the bed. You hadn’t even noticed how wrapped up the two of you had become. He slid out of you and dropped down onto the bed beside you. After a couple minutes, he got up to dispose of the condom before returning back to you.

Dylan pulled you close as he laid down again. He smiled down at you; happy he’d finally made a move on the woman who’s been plaguing his mind.

“That was amazing.” You said as you snuggled up beside him. Dylan cuddled up next to you happily.

“I can agree. I’ve been thinking about doing that since we met.” He confessed.

You looked up at him. “Wait, really?” This was unreal. Having admired him since his early Teen Wolf days, you never imagined you would be in this position.

“Yes. I just knew there was something between us. I love that it took a hot fake sex scene for us to get here. That’s a story to tell our kids.” He was clearly joking but just hearing him say that, set off butterflies.

This made you giggle. “We already have kids, huh?” You could joke too.

“Yeah, our two daughters and son.” He had good humor. It was nice that it wasn’t awkward between you two after sex.

“I remember now. How could I forget my own children.” This made him chuckle.

“Y/n, will you go out with me?” He asked with hope in his eyes.

“I will. Because I have liked you forever now, like way before I started acting.” You admitted.

“Oh really? So I take it you are a Teen Wolf fan?”

“I am.”

“Then you’re going to love my next endeavor. Jeff decided he wanted to bring us back for a surprise season, because the fans have begged for years.” This news was amazing. He was also clearly happy to return for the show.

“This I love. Will it be on MTV?”

“No, he signed a contract with Amazon Prime.”

“Even better.”

Dylan loved how excited you were about this. “Hey, they are holding casting calls for the show. You should audition.”

This was a dream. Teen Wolf had been the show that interested you in acting while you were in college. If you had a chance to be in the show, past you would die.

“Oh really? Adding characters?”

“I don’t know the whole premise of the season, but I do know he wants to bring on some new characters. I think you would fit in perfectly with the show.”

Dylan sure knew how to charm you.

“You’re only saying that because we just had sex.” You nudged him.

“I would never.” He pulled off a cute shocked face.

Being around him was easy. You were glad that sleeping together hadn’t changed the dynamic between you too. If anything it felt better.

“I know you well enough, Mr. O’Brien.”

“Can’t argue with that.”

The two of you were growing tired. So you asked him to stay the night, to which he said he was already planning on it. You drifted off as you made plans for your date.

Dylan and you had spent the weekend together. Monday morning, you both returned to set with this glow to you. Both of you were extremely satisfied with the way things were working out.

“Dylan and Y/n, just the people I wanted to see. Come to the office.” You both had walked in together.

Once in the office, the director expressed how happy he was with the scene you’d shot last week. In fact, everyone loved it so much that they decided to add another scene.

“So they wrote a whole new scene for us?” Dylan asked as the director finished.

“That’s right. Your chemistry is so good, that they really wanted more. Are you okay with that?” He looked between the two of you.

“Oh yes, we can do it.” You said as Dylan squeezed your thigh in a teasing matter.

He clapped his hands together. “Great, we will send you the new scene when it’s ready. Now let’s resume filming.” Director got up and headed for the door.

You stood up to follow, Dylan was right behind you. “Looks like we get to have more fake sex. Can you handle it?”

“Now that I’ve had the real thing, I know I can.” You loved the teasing. Dylan quickly kissed you before you entered set. This was definitely an interesting movie.

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arclucifer666 · 4 years ago

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Fucking Matt Barr.

Jensen’s never had a problem with the guy until now. In fact, he's always had a good relationship with Matt since Ten Inch Hero, when they first met. But now the guy is too close to what belongs to Jensen.

"One step to the left, Jared," Jensen says, just to be greeted with a look that reminds him of one of Sam's bitchfaces, and he's never missed the Supernatural set as much as he does now.

After a roll of eyes, Jared complies, even if the distance between him and Matt does nothing to help the tightness in Jensen's stomach.

Ten minutes later and Matt is too close to Jared again and they're in the middle of a damn pandemic for fuck’s sake.

Jensen walks over to the two men and positions them both satisfactorily under Jared's exasperated look.

Barr doesn't seem to be able to stay on his mark, though, and soon he is practically invading Jared's space again.

Jensen's blood boils. Best friends don't have to stay that close, damnit.

Unable to contain himself, Jensen intervenes once more, despite the new angle being terrible for filming.

"Can I talk to you, Jensen?"

He knows that tone very well.

A yes that sounds more like a snarl and Jensen's being pulled by his hand to Jared's trailer.

Jared's trailer.

That sounds so wrong because it used to be their trailer.

"This won't work," Jared twists his mouth in irritation as soon as the trailer door closes with a crash.

Jensen's body vibrates with tension, but he plays dumb, "What are you talking about?"

Those beautiful eyes show disbelief. "Matt was hired to be Walker's best friend. We can't shoot with that distance between us, Jensen. As a director, you should know it."

Jared barely sees what hit him. A bang against the wall and Jensen has his husband trapped by his body. He won't admit unfounded accusations when he was just protecting Jared.

"You agreed to hire me as a director." Jensen finishes the last few inches of space between them, miles of muscle making his body react instantly.

"Yes, but-”

"I'm just doing my job. Taking care of my actors. Don't forget there's a fucking pandemic hanging around our heads."

A leg makes its way between Jared's and Jensen can feel his husband's cock getting hard.

"I know that Jack, however-"

Jensen grabs Jared's asscheeks, which is always effective because the next sound is an obscene moan.

"No, no, sweetheart. I am the director. So my rules."

The rebellion lasts no more than a few seconds in the green eyes filled with desire then.

"Whatever you want, Jack." Resignation and lust color Jared's tone.

What follows that is familiar, unique, and extremely satisfying for both. It's Jared with his face against the wall; it's Jensen inside Jared; it's Jared's ass sealed so wonderfully tight, hot and wet around Jensen's cock; it's Jensen making sure Jared has only one owner; ultimately, it's a reaffirmation between bodies destined to be together from day one.

The sex ends as quickly as it started, but it doesn't matter because Jensen will be sure to remind Jared who exactly he belongs when they get home.

Afterward, Jared's limping and Jensen can't stop his smirk when Matt realizes what actually happened during the break.

They film the rest of the scene without any problems, but Jensen makes sure to keep Jared as far away from Barr as possible, though, because the only thing Jared will ride—besides the horse, of course—while filming Walker will be Jensen.

#j2 smut #possessive!jensen #walker #ficlet #bottom!jared #top!jensen

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space-blue · 3 years ago

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i don't know if it will be of any value to you but still: usually when i go fic hunting i only shoot for smut, because it interests me the most, for many reasons. since getting into arcane i've done that sort of fic hunting a lot, and read a few non-smuts in the process, but none had much of an effect on me, let alone enough to check out what other works the author has written. you though, are the first writer who doesn't write smut (apart from like, one or two mild vanco scenes?) but i straight up subscribed to on ao3 anyway (and i can count my subscribed authors on one hand). your writing is simply amazing. the pacing, the emotions, how you build on top of canon in a very specific way and get it to work in your favor. it pulled me in instantly and made me stay. and i regret nothing. i think i've read all of your arcane fics so far and am genuinely considering putting aside my prejudice against star wars and watching it just to read what you've done in the star wars fandom as well. just wanted you to know that. quite a few of your fics i think back to on a daily basis, and nothing feels quite as joyous as waking up from a nap to a notification about a new work of yours. just wanted to say it. i wish you all the best 💗

Hey Anon, sorry I took a couple days to reply. You think this sort of nuclear grade compliment can be of "no value" to me? Or any writer? Gosh, do I have a bridge to sell you. Seriously, I nearly swallowed my tongue reading this and then needed to sleep on it two nights in a row before the emotions subsided enough to tackle the answer.

Rare is the writer who doesn't thrive on compliments of their work, and rarer still are the compliments higher than "I'll get in a shitty fandom to follow you" or "I love all your work despite your suspicious levels of aroace flavoured genfics" or "you're like my 3rd sub"

You can't imagine me red enough in the face, right now, as I answer this ask. What am I supposed to say? Thank you? A Keysmawjenfkjwenfkfn? A GIF??

I'm deeply honoured and flattered both, and I'll strive extra hard to go on, and *at the very least* wrap up all my Arcane WIPs (SW fans who follow me and read this are invited to shut up and not comment on that, I'm not taking sass or feedback at the moment)

Alright, this being said... I'd encourage you to try out my Original short stories before you go down the route of Star Wars, even if some of those are really old. I add to the series slowly. The ones I'm most proud of are All Father (historical fantasy in ancient Gaul), The Teacher (introspective sci-fi with body horror elements), and Blink (Urban fantasy FBI case). Bear in mind all my works were hit by the fucking kudos bot fairy so they all have around 38 to 42 extra guest kudos that mean nothing.

Then I'd even recommend this Little Red Riding Hood one shot (mind the tags) over Star Wars.

Why, do you ask? Well, even if some of my best works are Star Wars, and some of the best fics I've read are also Star Wars... Well...

It's extremely dicey to recommend Star Wars as a fandom. I fell in the cauldron as a child, you see. Wore my French dubbed tapes down to nothing, rewatching the entire trilogy every day sometimes, in the summer holidays. I was *obsessed*. I had an articulated Jabba the Hutt toy ffs. Then I moved on, I suppose, even if I watched every film... I didn't read the comics, or the books. I played a couple prequels Play Station games but not the rest (games were forbidden on the side of the fam that raised me).

Then at the ripe age of like 29, I picked up the Thrawn novels out of curiosity, wanting more SW content that wasn't the hot trash sequels. It was like falling down a rabbit hole.

Now I've watched everything but rebels, played more games, read more comics, fell head first into the fanfic side of fandom, even picked up digital painting just to do fanart for it... But it's STILL A FUCKING CURSED FANDOM.

I can't, in good conscience, recommend it. I COULD give you exact pointers to watch stuff which I believe is super well done. I still feel like the Original Trilogy (OT) is an undying classic that you should watch because they're good and fun cinema. [Although I warmly recommend you pirate the original, non-CGI augmented version of the film, even if you have D*sney+. The CGI-redone version sucks ass]

But almost *everything else* that came out of SW is fucked one way or another. Shitty CGI or acting, childish dynamics, plot hole galore, problematic and insensitive attitudes on the creators' part, and most infuriatingly: derivative, cash grabbing, cameo ridden drivel packed in unoriginal storylines and foreeeverrrr more problematic shit. It's... Not *good* to be a SW fan. It's a fantastic universe, and the sand box offers so so soooo much.

But I don't write fics because the universe is so cool, like in Arcane. I write Star Wars fics because the canon, outside of the OT, has a tendency of being infuriating and broken. I write to fix. I read to fix. To expend on all the stuff they never bothered to cover.

We're always angry in the SW fandom, and D*sney is milking us in the most disrespectful way possible. I'm HATING the BoBF show, and I STILL have to watch it, and feel my fan soul crumple as they drag out my favourite characters in live action and make them look shit and do nonsense stuff. It's like a curse. Like I can't not watch, even though I wish I could.

*Sigh*

This being said... Some of my fics are easy to get into fandom blind... Watching the OT gives a good grasp of the universe. If you are the type who enjoys drinking while watching B movies, and/or have friends who are into SW... You could probably get yourself through the Prequel Trilogy. They're corny, look garbage (omg don't even try SW fans, I wear the shield of 60+ TCW era fics to my name) and the only two actors actually pulling their weight and having fun are Ian McDiarmid and Christopher Lee. BUT, the Story under the dumpster fire is excellent. The meme potential is very well known. My prequels meme folder is a place of endless tears of joy and I can always use it as a pick-me-up lol

There's potential. It's not a good trilogy, but it's a peak quality sandbox!

Next up, the Clone Wars TV series fills up so many blanks in that era and story... It entirely fixes the character of Anakin Skywalker, introduces undying loves like Ahsoka Tano and Cad Bane... But—again, always, forever with the BUT—the first 3 seasons are a slog, every episode featuring Padme or the droids is like sand paper to the brain. From season 4 onward it becomes a tolerable kid's show, and then all of a sudden you're hooked... And out of nowhere the final season is like "Hi, let me punch you in the fucking GUTS"

I have stoic guy friends who fucking cried in that finale. It also ends up looking gorgeous. So of course it lulls you in that false sense of security... Like you can finally enjoy some SW content without qualms... And then literally the next show you pick up slaps you in your damn fool face, and it feels sticky, so you rub your cheek and your fingers come off white and you go "Aaah yes, I was wearing my clown makeup"

So anyway... I'd LOVE to see you come fall down and suffer with us. There IS joy to be had in this fandom, and it's possible you'll find more for yourself than most, by virtue of not being one of the fans who were reared by a set of video tapes. Seeing Luke's character being put in a blender might not make you want to retch your soul out.

But I don't want to be the one who brings you down. I'd have less qualms luring you into the Hannibal fandom than SW. Or honestly I could point you towards single episodes, recaps, AMVs, or even just gif sets, that are all you really need to enjoy some of my works.

No matter what, I'm deeply, profoundly flattered by the emotion, anon, and I kiss you on the mouth and spin you around and show you all my blooming crops you've so thoroughly watered.

#anon ask #thank you anon #star wars #arcane #sw #fanfic #thanks for the ask!#no like seriously #blush #star wars fandom

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reallivegeekgirl · 3 years ago

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StanQuest

Something clicked on in my brain a couple months ago and suddenly Sebastian Stan became the hottest man alive. So I decided to watch everything he’s ever been in. A friend and I called it StanQuest.

Here are my spoiler-free reviews for anyone considering something similar (in inverse chronological order starting with latest works and going back in time. The stars are an overall rating of the work, not of Sebastian’s performance.

This only lists things I could find streaming for free or a price I was willing to pay. It does not count after credits scenes, music videos, or works in which he was uncredited.

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (2021) - TV show - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - This started it all. I very much enjoyed it. Good balance of humor and action, heart and heroics. I’ve watched it four times already, and will watch it again. Bucky Barnes is my favorite character of his and this is my favorite story of Bucky's so far. I can’t wait to see what he does next. (And I have a lot to say about how they treat his trauma in this show. I’ve definitely written about it before and may again.)

Monday (2020) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐ - This is the one where he gets naked. If that’s all you’re looking for, enjoy. It was a very realistic portrayal of a relationship between two deeply flawed people. It can get depressing. But hey, penis.

The Devil All the Time (2020) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - If you think Monday is depressing, this movie says “hold my beer”. But something about it is just captivating. It’s really disturbing, and if you’ve ever been screwed over by American Evangelical Christianity it might be more disturbing. Still, I’ve watched it twice. And as much of a bastard as Lee Bodecker is, he also looks really cuddly. He’s just barely in it.

The Last Full Measure (2019) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - You will cry. A lot. It’s based on a true story. Sebastian plays a man who cares more about his career than this weird quest dumped on his desk by his boss, but changes his mind and his heart as he investigates why a war hero was denied a medal of honor 34 years before. Definitely recommend.

Endings, Beginnings (2019) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - One of two love interests in the complicated life of Shailene Woodley’s Daphne, Sebastian is an adorable mess. The editing is interesting and fresh feeling. Watch it and you’ll see what I mean. Fair amount of sex in this movie, and you see his butt. It’s a very nice butt. I’ve watched this one a few times so far.

Avengers: Endgame (2019) - Movie - ⭐⭐ - There is no reason to watch this movie if you’re not familiar with at least most of the rest of the MCU. It plays merry hob with the rules of time travel, and only makes sense if you don’t really think about it. In my opinion, the ending is really freaking stupid comsidering his character’s history, but at least it sets up TFatWS, which was amazing.

We Have Always Lived in the Castle (2018) - Movie - ⭐ - If you’re into movies that are creepy but also almost nothing happens for most of the movie, this is the one for you. Sebastian is handsome as hell, but also a complete asshole. As fine as he is, I’m not gonna watch this again. I fucking hated it.

Destroyer (2018) - Movie - ⭐⭐- I had a hard time paying attention to the plot because it seemed like they made this movie just to get Nicole Kidman an Oscar nomination for wearing ugly makeup and playing a complete mess of a person. It’s a fine movie, and all of the performances are good. Sebastian looks surprisingly good with the short hair and goatee. Ultimately, the plot is depressing and the whole movie seems kind of pointless.

Avengers: Infinity War (2018) - Movie - ⭐⭐- Again, no reason to watch this if you aren’t already familiar with all the movies leading up to it. It’s long and the villain looks like Grimace and a California Raisin had an evil baby. The ending made me scream with frustration that I had to wait until the next one came out. Now I just watch them back-to-back if I watch them at all. It’s not a good movie, but it is part of a long-form story that I enjoy in general.

I’m Not Here (2017) - Movie - ⭐⭐- Another depressing one. Told over the course of one man’s terrible life, it’s a sad account of how much your parents can fuck you up. Sebastian portrays the middle part of the man’s life. J.K. Simmons plays the current day part and unreliable narrator.. Do not watch unless you are fully prepared to be sad for a really long time after.

I, Tonya (2017) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐- This movie is hilarious. I mean, the true story is insane and really stupid. The spousal abuse is hard to watch, and Sebastian’s mustache in this is a war crime. But the acting is great and it’s a very engaging movie. The parts that aren’t horrifying are pretty funny.

Logan Lucky (2017) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - Watch. This. Movie. Sebastian Stan is only in it a little, but it’s a really fun, clever caper/heist movie and everyone in it is fantastic. I don’t want to say anything else about it if you’re going in fresh. I’ll be rewatching this one a lot

Captain America: Civil War (2016) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - If you ignore how kind of silly the conflict over the Sokovia Accords is, this is a good Marvel movie. Sebastian gets a lot of screen time because Bucky is the more pressing concern/urgent point of contention than the Accords. Bucky is my favorite character of his partly because of this movie.

The Martian (2015) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - I’m watching it(again) as I’m typing this. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve watched it. Sebastian Stan isn’t in it very much, but he’s very cute and so is his little story arc. Mostly I watch it because Ridley Scott made a fantastic movie. If you can get your hands on the Blu-Ray, it comes with a ton of extras. They made a very complete story that isn’t all seen in the movie. A lot of it is stuff about Mars, but there are also extra “crew” interviews, so there’s another chance to see more of Sebastian’s character.

Ricki and the Flash (2015) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - He’s not in this very much, but he’s very cute when he does appear. It’s all about the relationship between Ricki and her daughter. Definitely rewatchable. Meryl Streep is fantastic, because she’s Meryl Streep.

The Bronze (2015) - Movie - ⭐ - This is not a good movie. It’s about Olympic gymnastics, so it might be slightly more interesting right now while the Olympics are happening. Sebastian isn’t in it a lot, but his performance is certainly… memorable. Weirdest sex scene I’ve ever seen. Worth watching just for that.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - This is the one I can watch over and over. I bought a Winter Soldier face mask for when I need to feel like a badass. Bucky’s story is really sad, but he’s also extremely sexy with the metal arm and determined walk.

Once Upon a Time (2012-2013) - TV Show - ⭐⭐⭐ - This show is so stupid, but it’s also fun. If you haven’t seen it, the premise is that fairy tale characters are real and live in another land. Snow White’s Evil Queen casts a spell to transport a bunch of them to a town she creates in Maine called Storybrooke, and gives them all fake memories so she can be mayor and watch them all not remember who they are. Sebastian plays Jefferson, a.k.a. The Mad Hatter. He’s in a few episodes in season 1 and 2, and doesn’t get a ton of screen time, but he’s really cute and tragic as Jefferson. It probably helps to watch the whole first season just to understand his episodes, but that’s up to your tolerance for weird shit. Note: IMDB says he’s in an episode uncredited, but I’ve watched it and didn’t see him anywhere in that one.

Labyrinth (2012) - TV Mini-Series - ⭐⭐⭐ - Two episodes that tell a complete story. Sebastian isn’t in this one a whole lot, but he is adorable. It’s a strange story about religious stuff and a sort of Holy Grail that’s three books. It’s hard to describe. It’s on Amazon Prime right now, but they’re taking it down August 8, 2021, so watch it while you can.

The Apparition (2012) - Movie - ⭐ - If you like horror movies, you might like this. I did not. From what I understand, it’s not a very good horror movie. Watch with caution and expect it to suck.

Political Animals (2012) - TV Mini-Series - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - I had to buy this through Apple and watch it on a Mac, but it was worth it. Sebastian plays TJ Hammond, the out gay son of a former American president who is clearly based on Bill Clinton. Sigorney Weaver plays the former first lady and current secretary of state. TJ struggles with addiction and relationship problems. His performance is heart-wrenching. The whole show is pretty great. I wish there was more of it.

Gone (2012) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐ - More of a psychological thriller than a horror movie. Sebastian has a small amount of screen time as the worried boyfriend. Amanda Seyfried is good. She carries the film well on her own.

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - If you haven’t seen this yet, I’d like to know what it’s like under your rock. This is a movie I can rewatch a lot, and have. I 100% cried in the theater. Sebastian looks fantastic in uniform as Bucky Barnes. This is his introduction and the start of his ultimately tragic story (before he’s saved by his best friend, again).

Black Swan (2010) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - Sebastian is barely in this. He’s basically just in one scene in a dance club. But I watched it to try to complete StanQuest, and I had seen it before. It’s a good movie, but might induce some nightmares, depending on what scares you. If Natalie Portman didn’t at least get a nomination for an award she was robbed.

Gossip Girl (2007-2010) - TV Show - ⭐⭐ - Carter Baizen is a little shit. The episodes with Sebastian in them might have made more sense if I watched the show from the beginning, but I didn’t want to. His character is an asshole, but a very cute one.

Hot Tub Time Machine (2010) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐- The people who made this movie are bad at math, and their rules of time travel are sketchy at best, but it is funny and entertaining. Sebastian plays a ski patrol bro who’s paranoid about the Russians, which is hilarious irony to me. Worth watching if you want to laugh at something dumb.

Kings (2009) - TV Show - ⭐⭐⭐- Sebastian plays Jack Benjamin, the closeted gay son of the king of a fictional place. It’s loosely based on the David and Goliath story from the Bible. Sebastian is so sad and so gay. His family makes his life a living hell. Ian McShane is a force of nature in this. It’s only one season. I’ve watched it twice. I will watch it again.

Spread (2009) - Movie - no stars - This movie was practically unwatchable. It stars Ashton Kutcher and Anne Heche as a romantic couple, I guess? I ended up just skipping to Sebastian’s scenes and only watching those. Still painful.

The Covenant (2006) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐ - This movie is so fuckig stupid, and I will watch it a ridiculous number of times. It’s about magic and teenagers, like The Craft for boys. Nothing about it makes sense. It’s terrible, almost irredeemable, but an evil Sebastian with magic powers is a siren song that will make me steer my boat right into the rocks.

And there you have it. There are a bunch of earlier things on IMDB that I just can’t find or don’t want to pay to rent. Maybe some day I’ll watch them and add them to this list.

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viperbarnes · 4 years ago

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Hey, idk if your requests are open, but if they are, can I request one with Bucky Barnes? Something where the reader maybe had encountered the winter soldier in the past (but is now maybe working with Sam and has some unspoken feelings with Bucky) and in the scene in ep 3 where Zemo tells Bucky to fight at the bar it ends up bringing her some bad memories of the winter soldier? Later Bucky can tell she's not okay and is acting skittish around him, and when she finally tells him about it he feels extremely guilty but she comforts him? I just love angst with a happy ending :3

I don’t really take requests, but this little idea was kinda inspiring so here ya go boo!

Gif belongs to @unearthlydust

Warnings for violence, blood, and being sick

You know he’s changed.

You know that he’s no longer the man he was when you first encountered him, you know the man he is now, a strange mix of conflicting outspokenness and quiet guilt. You know how he takes his coffee, and that even though he doesn’t necessarily feel the cold, he doesn’t like it all the same.

You know that he sleeps on the floor in his living room despite having a perfectly good bed, that from the moment he’d stepped foot into his apartment he’d had the best mode of escape clocked. You know that he has a secret soft spot for terrible action films, and gets misty-eyed at adverts with dogs in them.

You know all of this, and maybe that’s why it’s so terrifying.

Baron Helmut Zemo rubbed you all kinds of wrong ways, and you hadn’t even been present when he’d shown his face last. There was just something about him that made your skin crawl, but it wasn’t as if you could pull either one of your new partners aside and tell them that.

They already knew, already felt it too.

The feeling gets worse when he voices his plan, giving you all your roles to play, but again, it wasn’t as if you could pipe up and tell him to screw off. You all wanted to, but for now, you needed him and his stupid plan.

It’s how you wind up in too high heels and a little black dress that splits unnecessarily far up your thigh, how Sam ends up in a delightfully adventurous suit, and how Bucky is landed with pretending to still be a brainwashed assassin.

You can’t stop the scowl from taking up residence on your features as you move through the streets of Madripoor, glad that nobody really seems to pay attention to you, not when the Winter Soldier was around.

Unsurprisingly, it doesn’t take long for everything to turn to shit, and you nearly hiss at the way Zemo commands Bucky to fight. For his part, Bucky seems completely unperturbed, but perhaps that was part of disturbed you so much.

He’s beautiful, it’s undeniable, even when he fights, it’s magnetic. There was nothing graceful about it by any means, he’s brutal and abrupt, near-mechanical in how he moves. You can’t seem to tear your eyes away, and suddenly, you’re no longer in Madripoor, no longer in your stupid little dress and heels.

You push the man you’re protecting into the back of the car with a mighty shove. The wheels might’ve blown, but it was still another obstacle between him and the attacker.

Smoke blows across the road ahead of you, the flipped car that had previously been part of your convoy crackling with flames from the IED. You’d half expected a group of insurgents, but you’re greeted with just one man, striding confidently through the smoke and right towards you.

He was tall, broad, and covered head to toe in black, only his eyes and hair visible. Sunlight glints off the metallic of his sleeve, but when you take a closer look, you realise it’s not a sleeve at all.

Mouth dry and heart racing, you palm your weapon and fire twice. The man lifts the metal limb and blocks like it’s nothing. He’s nearing now, and for the first time in your career, you feel anxiety overcome you.

He doesn’t even try to attack you until you throw the first punch. He ducks it easily, blocks the follow up blow by batting your wrist to the side. His eyes set on you then, blank and oddly calm, and blue as the sky above.

He pulls back his own fist, and somehow you manage to dodge, jumping back and raising your gun again. No way he’d fair this close. But you’re wrong. You get three shots off before he’s in your face again, hand grabbing the barrel of your gun and yanking it from your grasp. You hear the clatter of it when it hits the ground, but don’t have the chance to formulate your next move.

Your throat is grabbed hard, and you’re forcibly shoved back until you hit the wrecked car. You grasp in vein at the man’s hand as it tightens, and with your back now against something, manage to put all your years of training to use.

You get your foot up between you, planting it harshly in his center mass and kicking with all your might. It seems to take him off guard, because he stumbles back, releasing your throat. You take the moment to turn around, hands banging on the car window.

“Go! Run! I’ll distract him!” You scream at your ward, and watch as the man scrambles from the car, out the opposite door.

You’re about to turn around when the back of your neck is grabbed and thrust forward, connecting with the car window so hard it cracks. You gasp, calling out in pain as blood immediately begins dripping down your face. He pulls you back to do it again, but you drop, becoming dead weight and managing to slip under his legs and out of his hold.

Still, you’re dazed, and blood seeps into your vision making your disorientation even worse. You stumble, knees meeting the ground for a moment as you grab at your forehead and clench your eyes closed to try and clear your head.

The deafening sound of three quick gunshots opens a pit in your stomach, and you just know, without even seeing, that you’d failed.

You get your eyes open by the time the assassin is stalking back towards you, gun holstered now. He closes his fist around your throat again and lifts you clean off the ground, his other pulled back and raised to hit you. You fumble, finding your mark and pulling the gun from his hip, pressing it to his abdomen and firing. Again, he reels back, dropping you and keeling over.

You don’t even attempt to finish him off properly, your fight or flight activated. He was downed anyways, and there was no way he’d give chase with a wound to the center mass like that.

But you’re wrong. You make it barely to the end of the block before something embeds itself between your shoulder blades, the pain so sharp and sudden it makes you fall. Before you know it, a weight is pressing down hard against your shoulder, a boot, and the knife is ripped from your body mercilessly.

You cry out in pain, life flashing before your eyes when a fist harshly grips you by the hair and pulls back your head. You feel the blade, still slick with your own blood, press against your throat.

Sudden yelling makes the assassin freeze, and with your head still raised, you can see the approach of several heavily armoured men in black. The one who shouts is speaking Russian, but your brain was too frazzled to translate properly.

The knife is removed from your throat, and your head released. The weight on your body leaves and you’re left gasping on the asphalt. Spots dance in your vision, but before you pass out, you lift your head just enough to see the assassin join the other men, before they disappear into a dark vehicle.

The place between your shoulder blades aches with memory, and you can think of nothing else for the rest of the night.

Even when you’re taken to see Shelby, even when the fighting starts and you’re forced to run, even when Sharon saves your asses and lets you crash at her place.

You change into the first thing Sharon suggests for you, not even caring. You felt numb, and cold and sick. You position yourself on the couch with the view of all the room’s doors and windows and sit quietly as the others talk. It isn’t until Bucky comes out of nowhere and sits himself next to you that you finally make any noise.

Unfortunately, that noise is a frightened gasp.

Everyone stops to look at you, Sam’s features folded into concern, while Zemo just seemed mildly amused. Bucky looked nearly as surprised as you, his eyes turned up at you. That’s when you realise you’ve shot up, gun in your hands and aimed directly at him.

That same sickness becomes overwhelming then, and the weapon falls from your hands to the carpet with a thud.

“I-- I didn’t--” You swallow thickly, eyes never leaving the man in front of you.

“--I’m sorry…” You manage to blurt out but quickly fly from the room, desperately seeking a sink, or a bathroom of some sort.

You reach a toilet just in time, emptying the contents of your stomach inside. You wheeze and choke as the sick burns your throat and you struggle to breathe, your eyes stinging as you hack and heave.

Hands gently pull at your hair, gathering it out of your face and holding it back, a warmth dropping beside you in the tiny space. You half expect to find Sam or Sharon, but you’re not unsurprised to find Bucky crouched down, his features a mix of sympathy and concern.

“Breathe through your nose.” He instructs, free hand moving to rub over your back soothingly, unintentionally brushing over your long-healed stab wound.

“I’m sorry…” You rasp when it seems you’re finished.

“You alright?” Is all he asks, hand moving to steady your shoulder when you move back from the toilet. Your miserable nod allows him to stand, and he closes the lid and flushes, before staring down at you and offering you his hand.

You don’t hesitate before taking it. You know Bucky. You know he’s changed.

He hovers over you as you step into the bathroom, seeking mouthwash that you use three times before you feel actually refreshed, and splash some water on your hot and splotchy face.

“You alright?” He asks again, looking at you in the mirror.

“I…” You trail off, clearing your throat.

“I forgot how good you are with your fists.” You tell him, attempting a smile, but it just comes out pained.

Bucky frowns at first, blinking in confusion until his eyes flash with recognition and he sucks back a breath.

“I-- I can go. Or you can. You don’t have to--”

“-- No, Bucky, I’m not quitting this.” You say firmly, turning to face him properly. He seems to be pressing himself against the wall, attempting to make himself look small and unthreatening, which was hard to do when he was a six foot four super soldier built like a tank.

“It wasn’t real.” He says quietly, avoiding your eyes, and you smile tightly.

“I know. But you’re a good actor.”

His eyes flicker up to yours, pained, and you cough.

“Buck, it’s… it’s not your fault.” You tell him, but his chin only drops further.

“I nearly killed you.” He hisses, more anger in his voice than you’re expecting.

“But you didn’t. And my freak out was just--” You cut yourself off, humming.

“My freak out was because I haven’t seen you fight since then, but I’m not scared of you James.” You step forward then, close enough to draw his eye.

“You pulled a gun on me.” He says, the hints of a joke playing in his words.

“I’ve pulled guns on lots of people, doesn’t make me scared of them.” he lets you move closer still, and hesitantly you reach out, laying a hand on his arm.

“I don’t like to see you like that, Buck… it’s awful.” You admit, glad when his posture seems to relax some.

“It’s not you.” You go on, trying not to give too much away, but you’re sure you’re already seen through.

“If I can help it, it won’t happen again.” He tells you, and you finally lift your gaze to make eye contact.

Something sparks between you, something that had been subtle and unspoken up until now. Something that had been there, lurking under the surface ever since he’d shown up on your doorstep several months back, just to let you know he was in the city and going to therapy. It was there when you’d tentatively begun hanging out, neither of you really having anybody else, but not being too bothered by that either.

It’s something big and intimidating that draws you closer together, hearts beating quick and shallow under your skin. Bucky’s eyes flicker to your lips, and suddenly everything seems real.

“Hey, everything alright?” Sam appears in the open doorway, and you jump away from each other. The other man’s eyes travel between the two of you suspiciously, and you scramble to get a handle on the situation.

“Just had a bad shot at the bar.” You tell him, glancing sideways at Bucky who avoids all eye contact.

“... Right…” Sam draws out the word.

“Well, Sharon’s party is getting started, so…”

“Right! Yeah! I’ll… I’ll go… to that… the party. Now.” You stutter and stumble over words, quickly pushing past him and leaving the room.

Sam stays in the doorway, watching you leave, before his gaze swivels back to Bucky.

“Called it.” He says smugly, and Bucky’s eyes snap to him.

“What?”

“I called that you two had a thing.” He teases. Bucky glares and crosses his arms.

“We don’t have a thing. There is no thing.” He insists, but Sam only hums, shrugging.

“That’s why I walked in on the two of you about to eat each other’s faces off.”

Bucky scrunches up his nose.

“That’s… gross.” He tells the other man, who ignores him.

“You got time for that later. I’m sure Zemo’s plane has a stall big enough for two. For now, we gotta go.”

Bucky can only grumble in annoyance as he follows Sam from the bathroom, mentally preparing himself for the onslaught of commentary he was set to receive from now on.

Still, as he watches you slip on those sleek black heels, he thinks there’s probably worse things to put up with.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes/you #bucky barnes/reader #tfatws spoilers #Anonymous

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energyanon · 3 years ago

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I wonder if the chilly vibes toward HC at the premier had to do with money. After the season wrapped there was an article where he was one of the top 10 most paid tv actors and none of the rest were listed. Obv he is the titular character but perhaps the disparity is extremely bad and that article laid it bare. I think he also got a raise between the article and the premier.

It’s possible. That’s what actually made me watch this season as quickly as I did cause I saw that article and I was like “there’s no way his acting is worth 1 mill - being only 200k less than A+++ actors” and I was right he gave nothing for the first 6 episodes. The fight scenes with his bare fists were cool but idk man he’s doing much too little for 1 mill. Which also makes sense as to why his team has pushed just how much of a hot commodity he is for him to “be in talks for bond”, now he can be like SEEEEE look how good I am :) more money pls.

Everything ive done a constellation on him surrounding life as well money and status has such a heavy presence.

It’s just odd that everyone talks about how nice he is and how great friends they are with him and then act so uncomfortable and cold when he’s actually around :/ (since after the bts, bts people looked fine) so like what the fuck did he do between filming and now??? I don’t doubt it was something relating to his ego

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adamwatchesmovies · 3 years ago

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Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)

A film doesn't need to be “good for you” to be good. Look at 1974's The Texas Chain Saw Massacre for example. It’s horrifying and unsettling. That’s the point. That’s what makes it great. Nearly 50 years later, it still terrifies while its long lineage of sequels, prequels, remakes, and reboots continuously disappoint. Attempting to imitate David Gordon Green’s Halloween (2018), 2022’s Texas Chainsaw Massacre promises much and then fails to deliver in every department except for one.

In 2022, young entrepreneurs Melody (Sarah Yarkin) and Dante (Jacob Latimore), along with Melody’s sister Lila (Elsie Fisher) and Dante’s fiance Ruth (Nell Hudson) have purchased the abandoned Texas town of Harlow so they can sell the properties and create a trendy, gentrified hot spot. They didn’t expect anyone to be living in the dilapidated buildings, much less an elderly woman named Ginny (Alice Krige) and the mentally stunted, murderous man in her care (Mark Burnham) - the culprit behind a 1973 bloodbath we call The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

If you want gore, this movie has it by the truckload. Despite being what? 70? 80 years old? Leatherface effortlessly turns everyone into pools of chunky salsa. Via his trademark chainsaw, of course, but also using hammers, knives, shards of glass, meat cleavers, and people’s own broken limbs. I believe David Blue Garcia was aiming to make this man who wears human skin for a mask seem demonically strong but the movie takes it to such an extreme it feels more like this story is set in a calcium-deficient universe.

Get ready to follow some of the dumbest horror movie protagonists you’ve met in a while. Now let me be clear. I’m not criticizing Dante for going into a house he believes is abandoned to look for important paperwork. He saw the two weirdos living there leave. He doesn’t know he’s in a horror movie whose antagonist can teleport and make his chainsaw silent if the scene demands it to be. I am calling him and his friends stupid for their complete lack of preparation, forethought, or common sense. When you have an entire town of dusty buildings to sell, you don’t show up 15 minutes before your potential buyers do. You case the joint, you make sure nothing is going to interfere with your big venture. When something goes wrong and the old lady who wasn’t supposed to be there has a heart attack, you don’t follow her and the police up to the hospital because, why would you? You don’t insult the guy brandishing a gun when you’re in the middle of nowhere with no authorities to be found - not if you want to live anyway.

Aside from the nauseatingly convincing viscera and blood, there’s only one thing this movie does somewhat well. Even then it's so scattered, I'm certain it was by accident. This movie is set in the present when people have cell phones, v-logs, and eagerly pull out their cameras whenever they see anything remotely dodgy. I’ve often criticized horror movies for finding contrived ways to get rid of their devices and/or signals. In TCM, Leatherface stumbles upon a big group of people. They’re frightened and puzzled, they pull out their phones and warn him with cancellation if he steps forward. It doesn’t go well for them. There’s a kernel of a good idea there. Yes, you can call the police, you can record evidence, you can do all sorts of things but they won't help you right there and then if your assailant doesn’t care. At that moment, the movie has sort of cracked a slasher movie problem. The police are on their way. They’ll be here in 30 minutes. Just in time to scoop what’s left of you into a Ziplock bag. The rest of the time, however, people just forget they have phones. No one calls for help, no one texts their friends to let them know “I’m trapped in this house and there’s a hulking lunatic in here with me, if you come in, make sure you do it quietly!” We know there isn’t a police officer within the surrounding 50 miles, but they don’t!

At face value, Texas Chainsaw Massacre seems similar to 2018’s Halloween. Both ignore all of the previous chapters except for the original and bring back the lone survivor so she can face the demon that’s plagued her all of these years by putting him to rest once and for all. Both are significantly more brutal and violent than their ancestors. The difference is that Laurie Strode was a memorable character we grew attached to and that her (still ongoing) struggle against The Shape/Michael Myers feels like it's going somewhere new. TCM just wants to restore the status quo so it can pump out more gruesome sequels - the post-credit scene confirms this.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre is indistinguishable from the later Friday the 13th films, or any other randomly chosen slasher flick. The staggering body count might please gorehounds. For everyone else, it's a depressing, pointless film with nothing to say and no imagination, whatsoever. (May 13, 2022)

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popculturebuffet · 4 years ago

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House of Mouse: Max’s Embarrassing Date Review

Hello House Mouses and welcome back to the house of mouse. Another comission by Kev and my second House of Mouse for the valentine’s season. This time we’re not tackling a Valentine’s Episode necesarily, but a romantic one all the same as fan faviorite couple Max and Roxanne finally go on a date. I always liked Max. Even as a kid when I wasn’t the biggest fan of “A Goofy Movie”, didn’t like the darker patches like the principals office scene or the Pete Hot tub scene.. though in hindsight both had legit greviances with Max... it just dosen’t make either less terrible as the principal still told an innocnet man who wasn’t responsible for what his kid did and was trying his best that his son was going to become a crminal because of one stupid but mostly harmless prank, and Pete.. is just an abusive, unlikeable and unlovable ass in both Goof Troop and Goofy Movie, and I hate how he treats his son, don’t blame his wife for leaving him or taking their daughter and dog, and am really sad he got custody of PJ somehow. And for the record this isn’t ALL petes, just this version. The rest are fine and just the right level of asshole.

Point is despite my problems with the first film, I had none with the second and even now I like it due to having some really good ideas and concepts while also being gloirously rediclous due to the loveably dated X-Games element. While I do have a spot in my heart for the Dana Hill and Shaun Fleming versions, especially the latter once upon a christmas is awesome, Jason Marsden’s version is the best by the mile having the right amount of ego mixed with self doubt to make him likeable enough to brook him being an ass to his dad a lot. He’s a good character.. and it baffles me Disney NEVER uses him nowadays. No really, the last time he showed up was in twice upon a christmas and no one liked that because he was dating someone who wasn’t Roxanne just to rehash the same plot they’d already rehashed better in Extremley Goofy Movie. I REALLY need to rewatch that one. Hmm.... gonna see if I can squeeze that one into May or later in April. That’s for another time.

But yeah while he’s at one of the disney parks, that’s it. The character just .. vanished, and hasn’t been brought back in any way shape or form. Though I could see either a Disney Plus reboot of goof troop or a goofy movie with max having his own kids. That could be intresting. Also bring Roxanne back as weirdly this episode i’m reviewing, a goofy movie and now her ducktales cameo are her ONLY apperances.

Seriously I get she’s not the most fleshed out.. but then flesh her out. Like Max she’s crminally underused and while I get her absence as a character in the sequel, the plot really didn’t need her, he still could’ve been dating her off screen. Though clearly the two worked things out and tried again as this episode came out AFTER extremely did. But did this episode work out? Join me under the cut to find out.

As i’ve decided is my standard for House of Mouse Episodes, shorts first, then wraparound, then Mickey Mouse live sex celebration. Though I will say i’ve picked up there are two kinds of formats for the show: They either use two of the longer Mouseworks shorts or just one close to 11 minute short, a medium one, and one of the little two minute segments. There might be a break from this in the future, we shall see but for now those ar ethe two standards. This time we have two longer shorts.

Pluto’s Penthouse Sweet:

I’ve mentioned in the past I dont’ really get why Pluto is part of Disney’s sensational six along with Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Goofy and Daisy. And I stand by that: While he’s had his own cartoons they just aren’t as entertaining and creative as MIckey’s or hilarous and relatable as Donald and Goofy’s. He’s just an average cartoon dog. He works fine in tandem with Mickey, but on his own he’s just nothing and his spot should be taken by pete, who while not a goodie all the time, again the goof troop version needs to step on a rake and fall into a well.. somehow. i didn’t think my insult through. Point is pete is better. And this short isn’t BAD .. but to me it’s what some fans THINK the disney shorts are: Bland, maybe one or two good jokes but almost nothing new or intresting. As I found out last year, that’s far from the case, as a lot of the Donald shorts are still hilarious today and a lot of the mickey shorts are shockingly creative, like Thru The Mirorr where he goes .. well thru the mirror into a wonderland like world where all the inanaimate objects are alive and he can shrink and what not via astral projection, or Mickey’s Mechanical Man, which I sadly didn’t know about when I did the MIckey Birthday Special and for some reason isn’t on disne plus. In it Mickey creates a robot and has it box a monsterous looking gorillia.

How has Mickey piloting this thing but giant sized against various kaiju been a thing yet? And if it has someone tell me. Seriously with all the comics and animated series how. I’d even settle for a Wonderful World of Mickey Mouse episode. Just bring this guy back. Point is there was far more invetnion than it seemed.. at least at first as it slowly died out as they went by the late 50′s. But Pluto just seemed even in their hayday like your standard pet gets into antics thing without the creative slapstick of tom and jerry or the likeablity of sylvester who never could get that asshole Tweety Bird. This is just weak sauce and whiel I could forgive the older shorts, as their from another time and likely lead to say Tom and Jerry... I can’t forgive this which was made probably in 1998 and released in 1999 originally. Comedy had evolved a LOT by that point and unlike the Goofy how to shorts, which are a format that is immortal and still evolved to match the times and felt fresh, these just feel stale and boring and like the last Pluto short I covered this one was a chore to sit through though not nearly AS bad.

Still though the premise is about the same, Pluto’s left to his own devices, and finds a female dog, though in this case she’s VERY intrested in him. I”m also not entirley convinced she’s a dog, but instead one of Jumba’s experiments and that Lilo and Stitch later had to journey to.. wherever these shorts take place to fetch him. Or more likely the house of mouse. I mean Proud Family, Recess, American Dragon Jake Long and Kim Possible all take place int hat universe, why can’t house of mouse? Also tell me you wouldn’t watch an avengers style team consisting of Kim, Ron, Jake, Penny, Probably TJ, Lilo, Stitch and Donald Duck. If you wouldn’t i’d call you a liar because you would be.

Seriously the eyes give her away.... just look at them. Very experimenty. But before Pluto can do it like they do on the discovery channel he has to get past the guard dog.. though how he does produces the one great gag of the short, as he BUILDS A GIANT, TROJAN HORSE ESQUE PLUTO OUT OF JUNK. Just holy shit that’s awesome> It gets him inside, only for him to find his lady friend is a bit TOO affectionate and he has to escape, he does so, and MIckey wonders if he missed him etc lame button. This short was a vacuum of comedy outside of GIANT PLUTO. Seriously where’s my disney giant mecha series. YOu have five main characters, and Pluto among with MANY, MANY side characters, frmo scrooge to the boys to hopefully Della, to even possibly pete and mortimer who could have their own mech against the heroes but maybe join them in the last episode. Maybe max and pj could have some, have a father vs son thing with PJ and Pete. I”m just saying, i’d watch it. I know my nieces would watch it. I know my nephews would watch it. Greenlight it. Or i’ll make it.. somehow.

How to Ride a Bike: Speaking of the How To Shorts, as usual for the House of Mouse era ones.. this was awesome, pretty much what you’d expect, some goofy, pardon the pun, gags about goofy riding a bike and then a fun climax of him in a bike race. Not a ton to add, other than that hamster bike above is genius. Just needs some tweaking. Really funny, really simple, and really good as you’d expect from a good Goofy Short. Easily the best part of the episode.

Max’s Embarrassing Date: So this was a disapointment. Like i’d try to be nice.. but I had high hopes given this brought Roxanne back, and while the premise was stock maybe they’d do something funny with with it.

But no the plot is pretty standard, very predictable and fairly obnoxious. Max has a date with Roxanne, and is playing it cool and what not, but is worried his dad will find out.. which he somehow did offscreen. Probably Clarabelle.. I mean they do go out sometimes in this one, wouldn’t surprise me.

So Max pleads with the rest of the HOM staff to keep him away because he fears his dad will overdo things, which.. is fair and one of the few things I like> He dosen’t want him to overdo it on the mood because this is well.. a first date. He dosen’t want to pressure her or himself and just wants it to be nice and calm. The problem is it’s framed like him once again being embarassed by his dad and having to learn better.

At this point we’d had TWO movies do this already, one of which was only two years old at the time of this episode. This plot is stale as old toast even if it dind’t have goofy in it. And the twist is predictable: the HOM crew end up also overdoing it: Minnie comments on how cute they are and wants candles brought, Daisy gets them a bigger table forgetting how dates work,t hough we do get a great gag of hte 7 dwarves stacked, and Mickey while having .. some.. gopher? I honestly can’t tell who it was, usually i’m better at the cameos. Speaking of which they also have a runner of beast going on a date with Cruella Devile.

I mean is he cheating on his wife? Is she holding his wife hostage? Is this before belle because we see a post transfomratoin beast too so maybe the House of Mouse is an intersection of space and time? That’s.. actually the most resonable answer I can think of honestly and when i’m focusing more on how the hell your gag works than how funny it is, you clearly failed somewhere along the line.

Point is Mickey puts his good friend in a pothole, and not only calls max little max, which while an understnadably close family thing to do is still embarassing, but also takes pictures while their eating the spagetthi.. which i’m 100% sure was Huey’s idea nad had Mickey not interrupted, would’ve been tied up down the middle for a lady and the tramp thing. It’s his signature move. Well that and having a panic attack. That’s also one of mine the others being lettterkenny refrences and sex jokes about disney characters. But yeah this just.. dosen’t work. Them being as embarassing? that’d be fine.. if they weren’t wholly unsympathetic for not only keeping their friend from WELL INTEITONEDLY trying to help his son on his date, something his son shold have no problem with since ROXANNE’S MET HIM. AND IS FINE WITH HIM. AND NEVER CARED ABOUT YOU BEING HIS SON LIKE THE DICKHEADS AT SCHOOL. MINUS BOBBY WHO YOUR FRIENDS WITH FOR SOME REASON. My point is this plot bothers me a lot, and it makes the mickey crew come off like assholes for doing this to thier friend instead of just talking to him like a person. Especially since only ONE of them is a parent and Conviently donald is mostly absent. Likely because he realized this was going to end badly and just agreed to tie the spagetthi like huey taught him to keep his involvment in this shit show and gaslighting his best friend to a minimum.

Eventually Mickey takes things a step too far and has Sebastian almost sing kiss the girl. Max cuts him off though yelling that he just wants them to back off, he just wants them to relax and he TOLD them this, which makes them come off worse as they KNEW he didn’t want this and did it anyway and never apologize becaue apparently the first rule of house of mouse is never apologize for anything, huh huh. Goofy naturally steps in, tells them off and agrees to serve them and Roxanne finds him entertaining and gives him a nose kiss for being a good dad. He’s a good guy that Goof. Roxanne then whispers something in max’s ear at the end of the date... which gives him an audible erection. No really. And given his age is vauge here I’m suddenly super duper uncomfortable so let’s move on.

So max tells them she liked it and wants to come back.. 100% sure that wasn’t what she said but what she said isn’t fit to print and you’ve seen what i’ve said and what I put in the we’ll be right back. Point is he’s happy, though Mickey says we’ll try to make it extra special next time. Mickey.. did you do a space mountain’s worth of pills and cokea nd just forget the entire evening? Did you take some of those hangover roofies/ Why would you do that? Was that pete’s new plan to steal the house of mouse? To drug you guys and make you forget you already paid the rent? Did PJ stop him? Inquiring me wants to know.

Final Thoughts: Yeah this wasn’t a very good episode. Roxanne is wasted despite having a suitable replacment Roxanne voice in Grey Delise, with no real depth just to rehash the plot of the first and second goofy movies. And this one didn’t have an inexpilicable beatnik cafe, PJ getting laid and finally being happy for once, a standard college fraternity plot surgeically infused with an out of nowhere obession with xtreme sports that was nowhere in the first film, Goofy in an afro, Goofy finding love, That disco sequence, and a climax in which Goofy carries Brad Garret out of a fire, then Brad Garret probably kills the villian of the film who certainly deserved it. My points are this episode was an underwhelming rehash only saved by some good shippy moments and a good goofy short. It was weak, not all that funny, and not all that intersting. My other point is that an extremley goofy movie is awesome and also kinda insane and I love it for that. I’m glad I saw this one but i’m really disapointed in how bleh it was. Next time I visit the house of mouse is.. actually in a few days as Pete Does a One Man Show. So yeah already 100% better just by having THAT musical number in it, see you then and if not, there’s always another rainbow.

#house of mouse #max goof #roxanne #the goofy movie #max x roxanne #goofy goof #goofy #donald duck #mickey mouse #minnie mouse #daisy duck #cruella de vil #beast #disney #comissions

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lihikainanea · 4 years ago

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sis leiii, can i please have a piece where instead of bill flying back home to be with tiger, she's the one who's flying to see him because he's travelling to film a movie or do a photoshoot or something but he's feeling homesick and maybe having a fever and tiger flies immediately to whatever he is to take care of him, but she surprises him and he lets himself cry when he sees her there?

Oh my sweet, soft Bill. Tiger is, without a doubt, no stranger to rescuing her Big Dude.

And you know, maybe it’s a multitude of things. Maybe Bill really isn’t jiving with the producer or the studio or something, but he’s learning in his older age that sometimes you can’t just...flip your shit and walk away from projects. Maybe the project itself still really interests him, but the people carrying it through are being insufferable dicks. Bill has an extremely low tolerance for people who think they are above anyone else, and if the set he’s on is rampant with egos, he has a really hard time...but he also can’t necessarily walk away.

Maybe it’s not even that. Maybe it’s just a gruelling shoot, one where actors’ unions and the studio are constantly in a battle because the actors are somewhat being forced to go through with scenes or go through in conditions they have no business going through. On Bill’s second day on set, he spent 14 hours submerged in an indoor pool that was way below the temperature it should have been. His acting contract, his union, probably states that he can spend up to 3 hours maximum in the pool and then he needs a one hour break to dry off, have a warm drink, raise his body temperate back to normal and then he can continue.

But the producer was always almost just getting the right shot, and maybe just one more take, and okay that was great but let’s do another one just in case and suddenly, it’s 14 hours later and Bill is shivering, his body temperature is dropping dangerously low, and his lips are blue. The doctor on set finally puts an end to it.

The next day, a cough had set in deep in his chest. One of those coughs that started off small and then just couldn’t stop, one of those ones that ached in your lungs, a cough that had you gasping for air after you just couldn’t make it stop. His entire day was scrapped, every take he did cut short when his breath would catch and it would set off this hacking cough, one that rattled deep in his bones. He was exhausted. He was out of breath. The first week hadn’t even wrapped yet, and he was already wrecked.

Tiger heard it the moment she picked up the phone when he called her that evening--the middle of the night for her. She picked it up and mumbled a groggy hello before a deep, uncharacteristic wheeze had her eyes widening.

“Hi kid,” he rasped, “Sorry I’m calling so late.”

“...Bill?” She had to ask to be sure. His voice was so rough, so strained, and she winced as a terrible cough sounded down the line.

“Yeah,” he wheezed, “Sorry, give me a second.”

He sounded terrible. His voice sounded thick and rough, strained as if he was trying to control it--and his cough sounded even worse. Wet and rumbling, it seemed to go on forever before she heard a soft sip, clearing of his throat.

“Sorry,” he croaked, “Having some issues.

“You sound terrible bud,” she said, “What’s going on?”

“Just caught a bit of a chill,” he mumbled.

A bit of a chill turned into pneumonia a few days later--and still, he worked. He would call her when he could, but tiger was getting increasingly more worried--she knew her Good Dude. And it seemed that every time she talked to him, he was coming off a day on set that was seeming more and more insane. A night shoot, where he had to run through freezing cold temperatures and snow in nothing but a bathrobe, barefoot--and he had to do it over and over and over again, because the director wasn’t happy with the shot. More water scenes. More hours spent in subzero temperatures, in soaking wet clothes, already sick as a dog.

Tiger had a feeling that there was a reason why he was sticking to regular calls instead of video ones, and at one point she insisted on it--and it only confirmed her suspicions. He looked terrible--gaunt and pale, his big eyes sticking out of his head even more, his skin a sickly pallor, and he was at the point where he couldn’t even get two words out without either having to stop to catch his breath, or launching into a coughing fit. The wheeze in his chest was even more prominent, there was a permanent wince in his features from the pain, and his eyes had deep bags under them.

“Bill,” she said sternly, “Have you seen a doctor? Are you taking meds for this?”

“I’m on a round of antibiotics,” he brought a pill bottle into the frame and shook it to show her, “But it just needs to run its course.”

“My ass it does,” she snaps, “You look awful.”

“Careful,” he warned, but it lacked all of its usual malice when he launched into a coughing fit after.

As soon as tiger hung up the phone, she booked her ticket to his location. She wasn’t going to sit by and watch this happen. The kicker was when she was browsing her instagram and just happened to stumble across a story that one of Bill’s co-stars posted--a goofy photo of the dude in the make up chair--but there in the background, a little blurred but tiger could spot him anyway--was Bill, curled up in a lounge chair, an IV drip in his arm. Tiger screen capped the photo and sent it to Bill, with a very curt message.

Call me. Now.

Seconds later, the image disappeared from the costar’s stories and Bill’s name popped up on her screen.

“Don’t freak out,” he started, “It’s fine, kid.”

“An IV isn’t fine Bill,” she snapped, “What’s happening?”

“It’s just some nutrients and vitamins and a lot of hydration--” a pause for a gross-sounding coughing fit--”I’m having a hard time shaking this thing, so it’s just to give me a boost.”

“You can’t shake this thing because you’re exhausted and this gig is killing you--”

“I’ve gotta go tiger, they’re calling me back to scene,” he mumbled, “Please don’t worry about me. I’m okay, I promise.”

Tiger moved her flight up to the earliest one she could find.

And listen, when she got there? She gave his agent strict instructions not to tell him shit, but to help her find a way to get into his apartment. She was exhausted from the flight and the time difference, but she was on a mission--she found a grocery store, was able to pick up a few staples. She stocked up on green tea, honey, managed to find some warm blankets, was able to somehow figure out how the sauna on the back deck worked. Tiger had a bad case of whooping cough as a kid, and she remembered that Granny used to spend hours in a steamed out bathroom holding her, trying to ease the pain and break the cough. Extreme heat was good to try and clear out the lungs, and if Bill didn’t have a fever, she planned on manhandling him into the sauna for a few hours tonight.

She got everything she could. Medicine. Lozenges. A thermometer. A hot water bottle. She spent the rest of the day cooking--big pots of soups and stews, hearty things with a lot of vegetables that would be easy for him to digest.

And listen, when Bill got home in the wee hours of the morning? Tiger was on the couch reading, and she stood when he entered the doorway. He hadn’t seen her yet and she watched as her Big Dude stepped in, closed the door behind him--and then slumped against it. His back leaning on it, his head fell forward and she heard him exhale a rough sigh--or at least part of one, before he started coughing again. Pushing himself off, he wearily raised his head and that’s when he saw her--and he froze.

“But you’re fine eh?” she said sarcastically. The house was mostly dark except for a few dim lights, but she saw his eyes widen and the shock register on his face.

“...Tiger?” he rasped after a long pause. He shook his head as if he might be imagining it, but tiger took a few steps forward.

“This ends now Bill,” she said lowly, “Do you hear me?”

She stopped in front of him, but he still hadn’t blinked yet. She raised her eyebrows expectantly.

“Tiger...” he mumbled. Reaching a hand out, his fingers brushed her hip as if he was afraid she was just a mirage--but then a few fingers turned into a whole hand, then both hands.

“Tiger,” he croaked, and then he crumbled. Reaching for her, she pulled him in as his knees buckled under him. She caught his weight as best she could, and he buried his nose in her neck. His shoulders shook and he clung to her, and she could feel the rumble in his chest as he struggled for air.

“Okay easy big guy,” she said, “Just try and stay calm and breathe through it.”

The cough started off small as he tried to suppress it, but eventually his whole body shook as he wheezed and his knees gave out. He knelt down, trying to get air in as he heaved, and she soothingly rubbed his back.

“Enough,” she said softly as she patted his back, “I’m here bud, and I’m not leaving. Just try and calm down a bit so you can get your breath back.”

His hand still reached for her just to make sure she was real, and it took him a long time to be able to catch his breath. Tiger held him the whole time, right there on the floor, until he could at least get some air in again.

Once he was able to breathe again, I’ll bet she put her foot down. Told him that she was worried, and that she was there to take care of him--because he was sick. Really sick, and that if he didn’t take the time he needed to heal, that he would only get worse. He finally caved because it was her you know? And for as well as he takes care of her, he trusts her to do the same for him. Halfway through the call with his agent, tiger had to take the phone from him because he was struggling for air again and couldn’t get the words out. Tiger told her, in no uncertain terms, that Bill wouldn't be able to work for at least two weeks.

And listen, for two weeks--Bill wasn’t allowed to move an inch unless tiger told him too. His fever was too high for the sauna that night, and even though he shivered most of the night, she made sure he was only draped with one blanket so he wouldn’t overheat. She filled him with fluids to try and help break the fever, and when it was a little better the next day, she started working on his lungs. She dragged him to the sauna and sat there with him to sweat it out. He was miserable--cranky and in pain, the dry air burned his already sensitive chest, but tiger just sat there and held him. She held him as his body wracked with heaves, she rubbed his back when a coughing fit took over and left him gasping, and she wouldn’t let him leave no matter how much he protested. Only after they had been in there for two hours did she pull him back upright, take him inside and get him to drink another ungodly amount of water, followed up by some of Granny’s tea. She gave him all the head scritchies until he was able to sleep at least a little, and even then he was only able to with his head propped up against her chest.

It was agonizing. It was the sickest she had ever seen him. And it was a long process--if she didn’t like the way he looked after two weeks, then she wasn’t going anywhere for at least another two. And neither was he.

#bill skarsgard drabble #bill skarsgard #BFF!Bill #sick bill

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