#this either is the best or worst decision i've made
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I've noticed a lack of "confession"-type accounts in this community, one of the staples of Tumblr fandom. What's better for an incredibly small, and insulated community than a space for everyone to share their thoughts without consequence due to the advent of anonymity? You send in headcanons, or opinions, lore, or facts about JTHM and we'll post it for the world to see with complete neutrality no matter how much we violently disagree with you, or how you say it! Doesn't that sound just swell? We've very few rules, but we won't post anything that's so blatantly against TOS that it'd jeoprodize this account getting terminated.
— Mod Nailbunny — Mod Johnny — Mod Darkness — Mod Edgar — Mod Devi — Mod Phlegm
---> MOD RULES - DON'T USE SLURS - DON'T BRING PERSONAL OPINIONS TO THE BLOG - DON'T BROADCAST PERSONAL INFORMATION - NO ABLEISM, RACISM, TRANSPHOBIA - PLEASE RESPECT ALL FORMS OF RELIGION - DON'T CHANGE THE RULES WITHOUT TAKING A VOTE - EVERYBODY SHOULD BE MEAN TO MOD CUCK AKA MOD EDGAR AND SEND HIM MEAN ANONS BECAUSE HE'S GAY
#jthm#consider this a social experiment#this either is the best or worst decision i've made#i would've named this jthm-confessions but that's taken#all mods are 18+#i'm mod nailbunny hello everyone :)
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All Aisle Ever Need 01 | jjk

chapter: 1/ ?
summary: You decide to take a risk and sign up for a program where you marry a complete stranger. You’re surprisingly okay with the idea—excited, even—though the occasional nerves still creep in. This could either be the best or worst decision of your life. Still, the mystery of it all feels thrilling, and you've made peace with not knowing the man you’re about to marry. No matter who he is, you’re ready to go through with it.
But on your wedding day, as you walk down the aisle, something makes you squint. There’s something familiar about the man standing at the altar. And then it hits you… you know him. You've made promises to yourself before, so many of them broken. This won't be any different...shit.
pairing: Jungkook x fem reader.
story type: series.
genre: There's-something-i-don't-like-about-you to lovers, second chance au, slow burn, angst, fluff, smut.
rating: m. Mdni
wordcount: 8.2k+
warnings for chapter: troubled parental dynamics/figures. It's implied that they are both grown, Jungkook is older than reader(the age is subjective). cussing. found family. none really from here on.
A/n: though of this whilst watching MAFS. i've been in a burnout and this got me out of it?. please don't ask me if it's a happy ending story(i'm not saying it is or is not.) I just feel if you ask me that then you're not really interested in the story.
anyways I hope you enjoys it.
date: 25/04/25
Prev | next
story under cut.
༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶
You've always bought the same type of clothes, jewellery, produce as well. Why would you need anything else when you enjoy what you have.
And maybe that’s why you’re in the position you’re in now.
You should’ve been smarter and known that emptiness would follow you soon enough.
If you had taken the leap sooner--stepped out of the one-way route to love--you’d already be where you’re trying to force yourself now.
You would’ve realised that maybe what you’re looking isn’t in the men you find pleasure in.
You'd be getting married conventionally, and not having to sign up for some program.
Comfort comes cause the type of man you want is hard to find. He’s either already married or behind his desk overworking himself.
There is a little ego-death, just a little. Having to confront yourself on the type of man you want when you're at your limit is humbling. It should be something you know about yourself already.
You're not best at caring of yourself of late. When was the last time you had a self-care? You're still alive so it's fine.
Just like your type; you've been stuffing yourself behind your desk any chance you get.
But before your wedding you swear you’ll have a day to care for yourself. Physically at least.
You’ve been shaking your head for coming to this point, but your solace is in hope.
Putting your chance at love in someone else’s hands—someone trained, someone professional—might actually be the smartest move you’ve made in terms of relationships. That way, your own traits that have gotten you nowhere won’t come into play.
None of your past relationships have ever seen daylight because of how dumb you end up feeling for indulging in them, for believing they could be more.
They could never see the sun, let alone could they see the conversation of marriage.
You’ve tried to bring up the topic of marriage, and immediately they turn it down or change the subject. After that, you never bring it up again.
Honestly, after experiencing enough of that, you quit on the idea of commitment. Maybe you were stupid for wanting that.
What does marriage have that you can’t get from a simple relationship bound by an unstable verbal agreement.
You could definitely survive on that, right?
That’s what past you got by saying to herself.
You gave up on getting attached. It was just hook up and get out. None of them ever wanted anything serious, so you became that too. But it was never fulfilling, you thought that would be your answer. But it's not who you are.
You went on and it wasn’t long until you felt the emptiness of it all. And you had enough.
But still, somehow you still got stuck with the bro type. You'd like to blame lust but your therapist would like to blame your fear of being alone. You get her point but you don't think it fits your case well. You've never felt lonely or been afraid of it.
Anyways, you’ve dealt with that type for so long and you conclude if was just lust.
So, many of the guys following your frontal lobe development, have told you that you were too much. But all that meant to you was you knew what you wanted and they were not in the same frame. You have goals.
Now you want something serious and someone serious too. Someone who knows what they want and where they want to be in the future. Someone who’s going to have a plan immediately they see you. Because you do.
“I have to tell you guys something.” You clear your throat calling for your friend's attention.
Taehyung's head snaps to you. Jisoo on the other hand meets you with her eyes first.
You’d been hanging out normally, just chatting, laughing and catching up.
No moment was perfect enough to say what you wanted to, so you waited. But you’d been laughing and getting carried away with connected stories that the moment was not getting perfect enough.
For a moment you contemplated procrastinating the news. But if you procrastinated this any further you’d end up having no one at the venue.
So, being presented with the opportunity when a silence settled. It was now or never.
You want lie that it’s excitement, but there’s nothing exciting about the dryness in your throat.
You watch taehyung, seated on a stool elbows leaning against your island, and Jisoo standing next to you, walking from the fridge to the sink. Shit you have their attention.
That’s what you wanted. Speak.
You’ve been friends with Taehyung the longest because you were at the same high school, and you met Jisoo in university because you were in the same dorm and happened to be doing the same program. You all got along as a group and stayed that way. So, being there for each other through most life events, you have to tell them no matter how nervous you are.
And knowing them, what you’re about to say is far from what they expect.
Due to the serious and nervous undertone in your voice, they stare at you closely, inspecting your awkward tucking in of lips. Normally, Taehyung would be quick to say something witty about your behaviour, but he’s silent, only making you more nervous.
You release your lips and suck in a breath. “Okay... promise not to judge?” You warn, watching them both, but focusing more on Taehyung.
“What the fuck are you 'bout to say?” He narrows his eyes at you like he does when investigating you about a boyfriend. Does he think that’s what you’re about to say?
“You’re not going to judge?” You ask once more for good measure but it serves to irritate them. You chuckle like it’s amusing. Nothing is amusing, not after you tell them.
“At this point, we will.” Jisoo exclaims with a laugh, and Taehyung follows.
"Yeah, we might just."
Feeling the non-existent pressure on your neck, you pull your mouth open. “Fine.” You mumble to yourself for encouragement. There’s no going back; you’ve already told them there is something to be said. “I’m getting married.” It comes out quick and rushed, if they hadn’t known you like they do it could’ve been sworn you had just spoken gibberish.
They look confused. Do you repeat yourself?
You probably shouldn’t have started it that way. You could’ve started with explaining the program. Cause now they think you’ve lost your mind.
The two stare at your empty ring finger, then at each other, and then back to you, hoping you’ll clarify with a mocking laughter at their foolishness.
“What?” you say fumbling with the finger. They look at you like you’ve finally lost your last marble.
“To who?” They thunder in unison, confusion dripping from each syllable.
The reaction doesn’t shock you, and you don’t judge the question either. But little do they know you’ve been wondering the same thing as well.
“Well, I don’t know that part, but...” you feel a little ashamed to say it because they will think you’re definitely crazy now. You’ve never been the type to do something like this. They knew you wanted to get married, but not this much.
“Do we need to get you on medication?” you're not on any medication but the words still spill out of Jisoo’s mouth with concern and shock.
Your news has, Taehyung sitting up with folded arms, his eyebrows knit so hard they could touch.
“You barely have a boyfriend, what do you mean marriage, babes?” You turn your head away from Taehyung’s eyes. This is embarrassing.
It’s true for them it’s quite the jump, but if you could just explain yourself...
“You're hiding a boyfriend?”
A boyfriend? it’s comical.
After your nervous laughter dies down, you elaborate. “No. I signed up for this thing where you get married to a stranger.” You explain, your hands waving as you speak. It’s something you always do when you’re defending yourself.
As you process the words to use, you realise it does sound not like you. You’d definitely react like the same. “It’s called Married at First Sight.”
“Wow.” Is all that you get back. What the hell do you do with that?
“I got picked, which means I’m getting married.”
“To a random guy?”
You nod, lips folding again.
Telling your friends makes all this feel so real. You still can’t believe you signed up for this, let alone that you got picked. Something in you hoped you wouldn’t get picked because 1. what are the odds? And 2. maybe if you didn’t get picked, it would be a sign from the universe that you should just sit your ass down.
Your fingers fumble with the marble of your counter. As much as you’ve seen their reaction, you still don’t know what they think and it's making you feel more embarrassed. If they don’t support you or want you doing this, what the hell would you do? What if they think it’s stupid. “What do you think? You’re making me nervous.”
“I mean—how do you feel?”
“I’m okay." You scoff. “But I’m going into this so blind. And I kind of hate the feeling. But it’s nice to have the weight of finding a match out of my hands.” But having the control out of your hands is not like you, so that’s where the nerves are coming from as well. Cause what if they don’t give you what you want?
“Why’d you sign up, though? could’ve set you up with this guy I know.”
You appreciate your friends setting you up on blind dates; you really do. But they never go well, which is not on them but more on the guys. Surface level, they look like a match for you, but mentally and emotionally, they couldn’t be further from what you want. Maybe you need to look deeper than the superficial, which is honestly what this program is doing for you.
“Those don’t go well for me. You know that.” They do.
Did you mention that Jisoo is engaged? You’ve never seen her happier. She wasn’t even this happy when she graduated.
And you want that too. You’ve always thrown yourself into school and work to suffice for the love you weren’t able to feel. And growing up you always relied on academic validation. But it could only carry you so far after you hit every milestone and still felt nothing. The only thing that came close were the relationships. Situationships.
“You really want to do this?” jisoo coos.
“it’s not so bad to try"
“If they give you what you want.” Taehyung intersects.
You hope they do. “I wrote in detail, so they better.”
You have no clue what criteria they go by, but it couldn't be something contrary to your asks.
You get excited thinking of the perfect man for you standing at the end of the aisle. Like, gosh, you’re going to be so happy. Your stomach flutters already.
“They probably know what I need though.”
“Yeah. But you still want the basics, like—” Jisoo doesn’t even have a chance to finish when you cut in.
“Oh yeah... tall, smart, a man with a plan type of thing.” You feel so childish for being so excited about this. But it’s more about the excitement of having the perfect man for you. You try not to picture his physical appearance because you might end up disappointed if you linger on it for too long.
Taehyung and Jisoo smile, listening to how excited you are. If you’re happy, they are too; that’s all they care about. That what what think of and not that this is the most conventional way to go about it.
Returning to your cooking, you decide to dig more into their thoughts. “What do you guys think I need?”
Feeling experienced, Taehyung takes the lead to share. He’s heard and seen a fair share of your crushes and boyfriends and how it's ended, so he feels like he knows what you’d like. “Definitely a business-style, you know. Sleek back hair, tall, nerdy.”
“Is that what I give off?” You chuckle a brow raised. Embarrassed. You've definitely grown into that assumption.
You do. You’ve always been the academic type and Taehyung’s parents always trashed him for not being like you. Even though he wasn’t even a bad student. You always made him look bad. But that's all to say you’re smart and a work focused person, so you need a man who is the same.
You also like to be control. Whether that’s knowing all the tiny details of an event, or planning all the trips. As much as he benefits from it, Taehyung is definitely sure you use it as a coping mechanism for something.
“You need someone who can take control.” He adds.
"But still obsessed with her." Jisoo chirps in and Taehyung couldn't nod harder.
It would be nice to have someone to do things with. But an obsessed man? You're not sure. You want him to love you but shouldn't be too overbearing.
“I feel crazy for doing this.” You bite your lower lip, letting your worries out a little. “Like I’m seriously going to get married to a stranger.” You believe it less the more you say it.
“It’s not the conventional way, but you know we’ll be there for you no matter what.” You warm into Jisoo’s rub on your back. You’re trying to mask your true nerves with excitement; you doubt it’s fully working, but you’re trying. “As long as you’re happy And he makes you happy.”
“I’ll make sure of it.” Taehyung promises, sounding more like a threat to your groom.
You seem serious about it and it must be if you got picked. So the only power he has is to be there for you as a friend. Its honestly not such a bad thing, if he wanted to get married he'd think of doing it like this too. It more thrilling. And there’s nothing Taehyung loves more than thrill.
Having your friends feels comforting, and it’s all you need. Really. But with how serious this is, you’re going to have to call your family soon, and you’re not ready for that. The idea raise the bile in you.
Unlike your friends, you have no clue how they’ll feel. You haven’t spoken to them in a while but the last thing they’d be thinking to hear from you is marriage. The last you remember none of them thought you were marriage material.
It's out of courtesy that you’re even telling them. But no matter what they say, you’ve already been picked, and you are getting married.
“it's still crazy though.” this isn't how he imagined this going. But he should be the last person calling you crazy when it’s the only thing he knows. But you get it; it’s out of your character to do something like this. But who knows you could find what you’re looking for outside of your comfort zone. It’s not 100%, but you’re ready to take that risk. “Imagine you marry an ex...”
Taehyung is not helping soothe you. The thought has crossed your mind before.
“Don’t scare me,” you brush off the thought with a hand on your chest, and they both can’t help but laugh. It would be so funny if you walked down the aisle and it was one of your stupid exes. Gosh... you’d walk out immediately, no question. “Don't think they would be serious enough for marriage.” They’re all probably out there still being reckless and whatever.
“What if he doesn’t like something that you like?”
“Don’t know" you chuckle "But I’d be damned if he doesn’t want to listen to my playlists.”
“Ouu, he’d be a gone man if he didn’t like your mugs too.” You know Jisoo’s being sarcastic; for some reason, everyone dislikes your mugs. The designs specifically. But you like them, so he would be damned if he didn’t like them.
“I mean, we have 3 months until we decide whether we want to be together or not....”
“Would you want to get divorced?”
You don’t even want to think of that. Divorce is not something you think about or want to think about. You know how much you hate it and how it affects children. You don’t have kids with the man, but still, you just hate divorce. It feels too much like failure.
“I hope not, but if he’s completely unreasonable, then I’ll have no choice.” You wouldn’t want to fight for something that bears no fruit. But you pray that’s not going to be the case. It shouldn't be too bad.
“I just want to like him, and I hope he likes me too. I would want this to work out.” You stare blankly at your hands. “I don’t know if I’d be able to look for love again after this.”
You’re being to dramatic but that’s because this feels like all you have.
“In that case, let’s pray he’s the one.”
You all go quiet for a second. The pot on the stove starts to bubble.
“This is real,” you murmur.
And somehow, that thought is both terrifying—and thrilling.
--
“Namjoon, what do you think?” He’s the only one who’s been quiet about what just came out of jungkook’s mouth.
It’s not the idea of Jungkook getting married to a stranger that’s concerning (Though that’s its own thing.) It’s more about the idea of Jungkook getting married in general.
“I mean—do what makes you happy. It’s not the conventional way...” Namjoon begins, and Jungkook can’t help but roll his eyes at how serious his friend is being. He’s not surprised, though; Namjoon has always been the more serious and mature one between the two. Unlike Jungkook, Namjoon has always known what to do and when to do it. He is the kind of guy with structure, but Jungkook, on the other hand, is more of the go-with-the-flow kind of person.
He does things on a whim, reckless with who he goes out with. Relationships have always been fun for him; he never took them seriously. That was until he sat with himself and looked around. All of his friends were settling down and were not available to go out. One was having a child, the other was getting married, and standing at the altar as a groomsman so often, had him worried about what he was doing.
He watched his friends fall in love and be so happy; he wanted that too. Could he have it too? The bro lifestyle he was living was not going to give him that.
He hid behind hookups so much that he hadn’t realized he did want to settle down, find a nice woman, and live that picture-perfect life, he saw his parents have.
And it was time for that. So, by chance and through his coworker, he stumbled upon this program and signed up.
He wasn't going to get picked, so it wouldn’t be so bad if he did try.
He never had much hope in it; like, how would some experts know from a form who to pair him up with? It was a scam to him. His plan was to go out and meet ladies the usual way, but even they didn’t see him so seriously; he was just a hookup to them too. It did hurt him. But honestly, they weren’t wife material anyway.
Jungkook has always liked doing stuff that people would call crazy; it made him happy. So being told that a match was found and he was going to get married to a stranger didn’t make him nervous at all—if you exclude the seriousness of marriage though.
“Come on, hyung...”
“I wouldn’t put this past you, so I’m not surprised. I’m just worried if you’re ready for this. I don’t think you realize how serious it is.”
It’s not shocking that Namjoon stares at Jungkook with such distrust; he himself doesn’t trust himself fully. But he wants to. Because how can a wife trust him if he doesn’t?
Nothing will convince him or others that he is serious and growing, other than through actions. And that’s what he intends to do. Namjoon may not trust him now, but when he sees how serious he is, he will.
“I’ve grown, hyung, don’t you think?” Jungkook sips his beer, staring at his friend. Having this conversation at a bar may not have been the best, but it was the perfect moment to do so. Though jungkook has never cared about perfect timing.
Namjoon lets out a puff of air. He doesn’t want to seem like he’s not supportive. “You have, but this is a serious commitment, Kook.”
He doesn’t need to be told once more how serious this is; his brain can do that just fine.
“I know. But I’ve reached that point where I want to settle down. I’m ready to get serious.” It’s definitely something he never thought he would say. “I want to show that I can be serious, you know? I want to be like you, Seokjin.”
He pats the man on his shoulder, and he can’t help but feel honored to be an inspiration. Seokjin was one of the first to get married and is now expecting a child. Jungkook envies that—the ability to feel stable enough to bring in another life. He wants to be stable too. Have a little mini him to play around with.
Who the hell has he become.
“I think it’s good you want to settle down, Koo. I just hope you’re doing this for the right reasons and not just to prove yourself,” the oldest begins. Seokjin doesn’t think he’s some wise man, but he can confidently say he has the most knowledge on this among all of them. He does support his friend and thinks it’s great he’s doing this, but something in him fears he’s in it for the wrong reasons. “I mean, it won’t only be you. You’re merging your life with someone else—someone you don’t know to add. I wouldn’t want you to drag her feelings into a journey of trying to prove yourself.”
He doesn’t respond right away. Because the truth is, part of him doesn’t know truly why he’s doing this. And not knowing is something he hates nowadays.
This is where Jungkook’s second thoughts root even further. He fears that—fears dragging someone along into his flawed perception of self. But it’s not what this is about, and even though he doesn’t mention it, he does want to find someone to love and someone to give the love he hasn’t been able to give his past lovers.
“I get what you’re saying, hyung, and I promise that’s not the case. I do want to care for the person too.”
Seokjin nods, taking a sip of his drink. “That’s good. You are growing,” he mocks, and they all laugh.
“The not knowing what’s ahead is a little off putting, I’ll be honest.” Jungkook doesn’t stare at his friends but rather analyses every bubble of air in his drink that rises to the surface. They rise fast, then disappear. Like everything he used to think love was.
“Do you think you can do it?”
“I think I can... I want to.” He finally looks up to stare at nothing in particular.
“The first step is the commitment, so if you have that, then you’re good.” Jungkook nods; he should probably be taking notes on what Seokjin is saying. “Oh, Namjoon, you’re going to be the only single one.” They all laugh, but Namjoon only chuckles.
“It’s scary how you’re still single.” His friends see him as the perfection of what a woman wants: tall, smart, a man who knows what he wants. It’s all what women describe, but still, the tall silver-haired man has never taken dating seriously, nor does he hook up. It’s concerning.
“It’s because I want to,” he replies, taking a drink of his beer. And that’s all they’ll ever get from him.
“So what are you looking for, Koo?”
They shouldn’t even get him started on this. He’s never really known because he’s never really thought about it. But of late, the answers have been coming in like ants—tiny but a lot. “Um, just someone outgoing, you know... likes to have fun.” He won’t burden them with all he’s been thinking because some are just stupid stereotypes. “Someone who likes to go out and try new things, likes to have fun.”
“Jungkook? a party girl?.”
Jungkook rolls his eyes; maybe his previous preferences slip into his ideas of who he wants, which is not good. He wants something new, something he’s never had. Because what he’s had is not what he needs. So maybe this will be different.
“No... listen. I like going bowling and stuff like that, you know? So I hope she would want to do that with me.” He smiles, trying to defend himself. “When I get married, I’ll quit the club too.” The additional sentence causes a roar of laughter among his friends, drawing attention from other bar-goers. Seokjin does go out occasionally, but the difference (especially with his wife’s due date approaching) has been significant.
The laughter dies down.
“Look at him acting like he’s grown.”
“I am grown... I’m going to be a husband.” It’s surreal for him to say.
“She needs to be strong to handle you.”
“I’m not that bad..”
--
The most exciting thing about this whole thing is finding your dress. You’ve been looking at dresses for a long time so you would like to say you know what style you’re looking for, you’ve been thinking of this since you were in middle school so you should know. You’re grateful your taste has grown out of the poofy ballgown phase.
Cause of the context of the wedding you want something simple. Clean. Intentional.
And Jisoo knew of the perfect store to go to.
Most women find their dress months in advance, but you’ve got a week. A week. So this has to be it. Today should be the day.
Picking out the dress is the only part of this whole process that feels like you have control over, so you’re throwing yourself into it. And with that comes nitpicking. A lot of it.
You step out of the dressing room in your fourth gown and face the mirror. It’s a beautiful dress. You loved it on the rack. But now, wearing it, something’s... off.
“Why don’t i feel something?” you ask, running your hands down the dress draping your figure. You turn to your friends, looking for validation. “I’m supposed to feel it, right? Isn’t that a thing?” you aren’t sure if it was a myth, but you’ve heard that when you find the right one you’ll be able to feel it.
“You should.” Jisoo says gently, sitting up straighter at the sight of your face. She knows how sensitive this moment is for you. The time pressure, the stress, if you spiral now, it’s over. “What don’t you like about it?”
You stare at the mirror. Tilt your head. Bite your lip. Try to search for an answer.
“i don’t know i just dont feel like a bride in it.” You continue to feel over it trying to convince yourself but still nothing.
Maybe its cause you have no romantic connection with this man and hence you don’t feel like the conventional bride who can actually feel like she’s dress shopping with a purpose.
“Then we try another,” the stylist says with an encouraging smile.
You hope you don’t sound like a bridezilla because this is the fourth dress you’ve tried on and don’t like. Your stomach churns.
What if you don’t find one? What if you end up walking down the aisle in something you hate cause you weren’t able to find ‘the one’ in time. You can’t wear something that doesn’t feel like you. You’re not a person very particular about clothes but this is your wedding dress in question. It has to be perfect.
“Hey...” Jisoo comes to your side, her hand warm on your arm. You feel your shoulders drop just a little. “Don’t pressure yourself. We can come back tomorrow.”
You nod, but the thought makes your chest tighten. You don’t want to come back. You want to feel it now.
“Can I try a few more first? Just in case?”
“Of course,” she says, like she never had a doubt.
You head back into the dressing room. One more. Just one more.
Walking back into the dressing room and getting into another dress. You’re praying this will be the one or good enough at least.
“Fucking hell yn...” Taehyung whistles.
That’s new. He didn’t react like this for the others.
“You look so gorgeous babes.” Jisoo adds with a blushing smile as you walk onto the pedestal to finally see what they see.
The dress in terms of material feels great. It’s soft on your skin and it pours down your body like liquid. Without even looking at it you’d say you feel comfortable.
Once you take in your figure in the mirror, you can fel the tears sting the corner of your eyes. You definatlety feel it. You feel that feeling.
With the other dresses it felt like they were wearing you, but for this one, you’re definitely the one owning it.
“Gosh.. it’s almost too perfect to be marrying a stranger in.” You state still enamoured and not believing that the reflection is you.
“if this dude doesn’t cry or fall to his knees when he sees you i’ll beat his kneecaps in.” Taehyung expresses and when you look at him through the mirror you catch him tabbing a tissue at his eyes, jisoo too. Gosh now your tears are falling too.
“Come on guys.” You try to say through a sniffle. “you’re making me cry.”
Sniffling and patting at your eyes with a tissue you try to collect yourself.
“on a serious note. You look gorgeous.” Taehyung says, folding the tissue in to his palm. “you look beautiful. I should’ve married you instead. This guy doesn’t deserve you.”
You choke out a laugh, knowing he’s joking. You and Tae never looked at each other like that.
“If we were getting married, I’d wear sweats. Jeans if I’m feeling fancy.”
“Ouch,” he gasps, clutching his chest. Jisoo snorts. “Is that all I am to you.” He’s way more than that. He’s everything you'd ever want to dream of in a friend.
“i hope this dude realises how much he’s won with you.” Jisoo says softly.
“If he has two eyes, he will otherwise we’ll fight.” Of course it’s tae saying that.
“Why do you hate him you barely know him.” you say causing the man to pull back in defence.
“I’m just setting boundaries.”
He’s always been protective. You can’t blame him.
“But how do you feel?” Jisoo asks.
You take a breath. Let the silence hold for a second. You take in the weight of the dress, the way it fits, the way it makes you feel like maybe this whole thing won’t be so terrible after all.
“i love it.” It comes out soft but it says all that’s needed to be said. “i think it’s the one.”
Cheers erupts in the room the room, and your heart feels light for the first time in days.
You laugh through your tears. “I’m gonna be a Mrs. Something.”
“I just hope he’s got a good last name, at least.” Taehyung grins.
You hope so too.
But that’s one of the many things you’re choosing not to think about. Not yet.
--
Jungkook has never woken up early for anything. And the last thing he ever thought he’d be waking up early for was his wedding.
“You ready for today?” Seokjin says bascally aready dressed while Jungkook walks around in his sweats.
“As ready as i can ever be.” His eyes don’t leave the suit hanging on the wall. Gosh how would he have found one if he didn’t have his friends.
“You sure? You’re too calm.”
“Not everyone’s gonna be in panic.” Namjoon chimes in.
Seokjin’s wedding morning was definitely chaotic cause of how the man panicked.
Though at the time he never thought of it seriously, Jungkook worried that it was custom to panic like that and he’d panic too. But even still he feels too relaxed, last night’s drinks might have something to do with it. When Seokjin and namjoon had gone to sleep, and jungkook couldn’t, he's only solace was the liquor cabinet. He hopes it’s not obvious. Cause he can fool his friends but his mother might be able to catch it, no matter how hard he’s brushed his teeth.
“it’s good to atleast show some of your nerves.” Seokjin moves to the counter to pour some drinks. Jungkook gags at the smell of spirit. “You can’t be perfectly relaxed.”
Can’t he? It is possibe for him to not be worried about anything. He doesn’t have to be having doubts and fears for this to be real. He doesn’t.
“I’m fine.” He groans, rubbing his face and reaching for the suit hanging on the door of his room. He's fine...so fine.
Seokjin doesn’t dig in deeper. And one thing the older does know is that no matter what, Jungkook must be feeling something and his silence about it might be proving what Seokjin thought. Thinks.
“Did you send the gift?” he turns to namjoon worried about one thing.
“Yeah.”
Jungkook wanted to make a good impression so he hopes the gift does some apologising if you’re able to notice he's fucked up face.
“Can you help me with my tie?” He knows how to do it. Has been doing it for school for so long. But for once he just wants to feel like she’s involved in something he's doing. Something positive.
The drooping look on her face is discouraging enough, but he tries.
“You’ve been doing it for so long. Do you really need my help?” She says not even looking at him, and yet again he feels the embarrassment.
Clearing his throat, he turns to do it himself but his dad replaces his hands. “I told you guys, you didn’t have to travel for this.” He says lifting his chin up a little for his dad.
He was fine with them not coming, and seeing that they lived so far away it would’ve been an inconvenience. And it’s not like its a wedding his mother would want to attend anyways; so he didn’t want to waste their time.
He was perfectly fine with them not coming.
“it’s your wedding why wouldn’t we come?” His father says patting down the tie and arranging his collar. It's almost as if it’s his first day at school and his graduation again. He hopes he can do this for his son one day too.
In a whisper away from anyone else his father speaks. "I want you to enjoy today. And whoever she is I want you to give her your all. Love her more than you love yourself, more than you’ve ever loved anything.”
His eyes are sincere as the words are spoken. His father isn’t emotional so even that soft fall of his brows is a lot. And it’s all Jungkook can ask for. “She's gonna love you too, I know it. You’re a good kid.” He pats his shoulder.
He can cry...no. So he sniffles the waters away.
His father has always been a good husband. And that’s who he wants to be as well, no matter who he marries, no matter how difficult she could be.
His parents have been the ideal couple in his life for a long time. And that doesn’t change no matter what.
Everything is silent for a moment as jungkook sinks into what’s about to happen today. It’s only until a voice breaks his serenity.
“Namjoon!” his mother calls out playfully with a glass in her hands, she doesn’t even drink.
Namioon flinches and turns to her smiling awkwardly. He's never known how to act around her. “When are you getting married? Sure there are so many woman dying to be hitched up to a perfect guy like you.”
Jungkook rolls his eyes and tells namjoon he doesn’t have to answer.
But his mother won’t let that be.
“Not anytime soon Mrs jeon.”
The laugh she releases is sharp and demeaning. But it’s not directed to namjoon. “You see? People who wait to find a girl the right way.”
When Jungkook’s gaze meets hers, he has to remind himself she's the woman that birthed him.
“You didn’t have to come you know that?”
“Come on. You want me here, I’m your mother.”
Contrary to popular belief...
“You’re such a handsome boy, why do you want to get married. You’re wasting your time.” She starts.
She should be praising him for seeing the value in getting married and maturing to the idea. But no...
Jungkook puffs out a breath. The room has been silent since his mother began speaking. And he drowns in it. There's a lot he could say.
Instead, he throws the jacket on and teases at it a little in the mirror. Some are unnecessary touches but he does them anyways. Feeling ready enough he steps away but before he walks out further he looks at the woman sat on the couch.
“If you can..,try your best not to speak to her, okay?”
--
“Did they call?” Taehyung’s voice is almost none existent in your field of thoughts.
It’s only when he repeats that you catch what he said. "no.” You say no energy in your voice. “but it’s fine...their loss.”
You toss your phone on the couch a little too harshly, just wanting to forget it. Forget everything.
You won’t and can’t beg for people who don’t want to be in your life. Informing them was just a courtesy, you didn’t want him here anyways.
Though it would’ve been great if they could just put their pride aside for you for once.
Taehyung wraps his arms around you. “Their loss. Just know you’ve got us.” He nudges at your temple with his nose.
“Yeah, you’ve got people who care and that’s all that matters.” Jisoo hugs you too and now you’re sandwiched between them. It reminds you that no matter what, you still have people around you who do care and want to support you. So if those people who you thought would want to see succeed didn’t want to be here then it’s not on you. You have your friends.
“let’s finish getting ready guys.” They brush them away playfully and immediately your hairstylist is quick to working on you.
“So bossy.” You roll your eyes at the remark. “Gonna give this guy a run for his money.”
It doesn’t matter. You cheer to yourself.
Nothing else matters today, you’re getting married and you don’t need to cloud your thoughts with negativity. You wouldn’t want your husband to see you all gloomy. That’s not gonna to be your first impression.
You smile.
All you want to do right now is walk down that aisle. Nothing else matters.
“Did i mention a little something came in for you in the mail” jisoo’s voice comes in excited but you aren’t able to turn cause you’re on your final steps of getting your makeup done.
“huh?” when she stands in front of your eyes fall in the object in her grasp. “What’s that?” you eaxclaim with a smile taking the box onto your lap.
“Open it.” She exclaims, more excited than you.
The tiffany and co logo on the box is evident when you unwrap it. You can’t help but smile from ear to ear. You haven’t met him yet and he’s making you smile this hard? Once it’s open you’re met with a silver locket and bracelet. You’ve gotten gifts before but you have no clue why you’re blushing so hard for this one.
“oh my gosh these are so cute.”
“tiffany and co too...” Jisoo adds, immediately rushing for you to put it on cause it would look good with your dress.
Taehyung watches from across the room, already dressed. “Anybody can buy that.”
“hater...” you and Jisoo choir.
--
Seokjin made it clear for him to behave when he sees your family. He has no clue what he thought he would do, because as much as he’s outgoing, In front of the in-law's he’s a dove.
He’s trying to be calm and act like he’s ready and been ready, but he can’t deny the cold sweats that threaten to run and mess his suit. This is the most trust he’s put into anything. All he’s praying is that it works out.
He’s a fucking groom.
Jisoo sits watching him closely, he is handsome and somebody you would find handsome too. But something she knows you’ll be worried about is probably his personality. He looks like the opposite of what you want and all you’ve been running away from. But who knows with you nowadays. He could be a good guy though.
“Hello.” Jungkook waves to your side. From all he can see, there’s a woman probably same age as him, could be a sister? Friend? Next he sees is an older lady probably the same age as his mother. That could be your mother. The rest of the crowd is filled with 2 people.
Not many people, but t doesn't matter. He wouldn't invite anybody too, if he didn’t have to. Maybe you're too embarrassed to be marrying already.
He's eyes can't stay on one spot. He tries but it's painful.
When he turns to his side, Seokjin and namjoon smile at him, it helps ease whatever he’s feeling but immediately his heart tightens up watching the person sat next to his father whisper into his ear..
What the hell is she saying? Is he standing up straight? Is he smiling enough or too hard.
--
This is the craziest thing you've ever done. The bravest too.
And—God, you hope—it’s the last wild thing you’ll have to do for a while.
Breathing is something your body usually handles without question, but now it needs supervision. You have to consciously pull air into your lungs, or you won’t make it down this aisle walking.
You have no idea what’s waiting at the end of it.
What if you’re not attracted to him?
Worse—what if he’s not attracted to you?
What if you’re not what he’s been hoping for?
“This still feels like a dream,” you mumble, looping your arm around Taehyung’s. He smells like cologne and nerves. What the fuck is he nervous for.
“You ready?” he asks gently.
No, but you nod. “Yeah.”
The gentle music of a live plays as people stand and you walk, still not in view yet cause if the infrastructure. Its a small venue but sill manages to make you feel like you’re drowning.
As you walk and get closer you try your hardest not to look at the one thing you’re most curious about.
So your eyes choose to scan the venue instead—the warm fairy lights, the soft music, the flowers. You knew the production team would go all-out, but you didn’t expect them to go all out for you. It’s perfect.
You’ve never felt this special in your life. Twelve-year-old you couldn’t have imagined this moment. Even though this isn’t the love story you thought you’d get, the feeling is still here, blooming in your chest.
Who says he can’t become the love of your life?
Jungkook's eyes are wide when they land on your.
From your soft smile to styled hair amd the the dress that falls down your body carefully, he watches every detail. He can’t look anywhere else. He swears his heart was just in his chest a moment ago.
Jungkook watches the person walking you down the aisle, he’s a younger guy. That’s interesting. A sibling?
From all that he’s imagined he could get, you were not on the card. But he'll take it.
You’re more than he bargained for.
You walk slowly, soaking it all in. Nearing the arch, you finally allow yourself to look at the man chosen for you.
And—shit.
He’s… handsome.
You eyes squint.
He smiles as you approach, so at least he doesn’t seem horrified. That’s something.
Taehyung shares a nod with the man, nothing warm or cold behind. You hug him before he walks to his seat, clinging for just a second too long. Then, it's just you and him—your groom. You can’t meet his eyes for more than a second. And it’s embarrassing.
You’ve been on debate teams, presented in University projects and in meetings at work. Basically you’ve had eyes on you before and it was manageable...but these? They burn.
“Hi,” you say, voice small.
You glance toward his side. A good amount of family. One person stands out—tall, silver hair. Probably a groomsman.
Your groom is attractive, sure, but not your type. Tattoos?, the way he stands—he looks like someone you tried to avoid.
You hate how superficial that sounds. But the thought won’t leave.
At least he’s taller than you.
“Hi,” he replies, equally nervous. Then leans in. “You look beautiful.”
“Thank you. You look nice too.” You eye him down, eyes narrowed.
If this were a blind date, you’d already be knee-deep in awkward small talk. But this? This is… bigger. It requires bigger questions.
“Let me take that for you.” Jisoo’s whisper interrupts. She takes your bouquet and you almost refuse, needing something to keep your fingers occupied.
“I see you got the jewellery.” His voice is as light as the pale blue sky. It’s odd to compare it to a colour but that how it feels. His voice reminds you of the blue sky you’ve stood under so many times wondering if your soulmate died. There’s still a possibility of that.
You glance down. You’d worn it and forgotten. It had become that comfortable. That familiar. But now with the recognition, you can feel the cold silver touch every part of you. You can feel it sway and graze you every turn you make. Even the smallest action causes movement.
“Oh yeah. Thank you.”
“You’ll have to thank my groomsman too. He helped me pick it.”
He looks over at Namjoon, who immediately looks like he wants to disappear.
Maybe he shouldn’t have said that. It might sound like he couldn’t handle it alone. But truthfully, Namjoon just knows more about…well, this kind of thing.
“Thank you, groomsman,” you direct a more warm smile to the man.
Namjoon mumbles something, but you don’t catch it.
Turning back, you stare a beat longer when your eyes catch he's features. You bite the inside of your cheek. His face—it’s not common. Not forgettable.
And yet…
The officiant steps forward. Time for the official part.
“Yn, meet for the very first time, Jungkook Jeon. Jungkook, meet for the very first time, Yn Y/l/n.”
His name hits you like a church bell.
“Jungkook?” you repeat sounding a little shocked, like you didn’t hear it right the first time.
He chuckles nervously. “That’s me.” Do you not like his name?
Your stomach drops.
You know him. The name. The face. It clicks.
Your nose works over time pulling in air. You can't open your mouth, cause you might just puke.
Shit—does he know you? He doesn’t seem like he does.
Is this real?
The man you remember wouldn’t be standing here right now. Does she have some polar opposite twin or something?
You rub your arms and wish you could blame the AC for the chill. But that's all on him.
Glancing at your friends. They have no clue what’s happening inside your head right now. They don't know how fast the room spins.
Where do you put your hands, what do you hold onto?
None of them know about him. He’s the only one you've never told them about. And they sit there waiting for you--with smiles and excitement--to marry him.
You made them come here. They smile for you. They support you.
You asked them to be here for you. You wanted to do this.
What a waste of time. You should’ve known.
To add-on, as you look at your friends for a second time you stop at a face you were not expecting and hadn't noticed. How did you miss that? A face that had told you she didn’t want to be here, well not her specifically but mainly on behalf of your father. But what the hell is your mother doing here? She said she couldn’t come.
What the fuck is going on. Collect yourself, you don’t want to look like you’re about to faint. Even though the overwhelming review of information could just kill you right here.
But it’s okay. You still have time to walk away. Walk away from everyone.
You thought this was going to go well.
You hoped it would.
But now?
This is not what you wanted.
-
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༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶
A/n: 😏😏 what did you think? I hope you liked it. Please don't ask me if it's a happy ending story(i'm not saying it is or is not.) I just feel if you ask me that then you're not really interested in the story progression. I will try my best to post frequently (I've been working on 2 as well) so just hood your horses.
anyways I hope you enjoyed.
same time next week?
Lets discuss in the replies 🖐😊
taglist: @lovingkoalaface @granataepfelchen @jksusawife @notsevenwithyou @llallaaa @kmpj9 @lryf @smileyshaven @dragonflygurl4
note: to join taglist just inbox.
every note, reply and reblog is appreciated.
let me know what you thought of this chapter. do you think she'll marry him?
#fanfic#fic: all aisle ever need.#jungkook angst#jungkook smut#jungkook series#jungkook#jungkook x reader#jeon jungguk#jungkook x y/n#bts#keen li#jungkook au#jeon jungkook#jungkook fanfic#namjoon#taehyung#seokjin#jungkook fluff#jeon jeongguk#jeongguk#bts jeongguk
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Trip Sitter | Nam-gyu / Reader / Thanos
HEADCANONS & DRABBLE
Pairing: Nam-gyu & Choi Su-bong (Thanos) / GN!Reader
Summary: The three of you do shrooms.
Tags/Warnings: Drug use, swearin, suggestive themes, implied sex while intoxicated
A/N: So I used to do shrooms with my ex, so this is written with personal experience.
The concept has been living inside of my head for like four days now. So finally I've come around to finish it.
Now realistically would I ever do shrooms with these bozos? HELL NO. Well... Maybe. But first timers doing shrooms with them? Bad call.
ᯓ First time? Congratulations you’ve just made both the best and worst decision anyone could make under this circumstance.
Best because they’re both experienced. Worst because they are terrible trip sitters. Kind of.
ᯓ The come up is always the worst. That gripping nausea that holds you down to the bed, eyes shut, focusing on your breathing to stop yourself from throwing up. You felt like the room was spinning around you every time you cracked an eye open. You were trying to be brave.
ᯓ Nam gyu would absolutely be the type to say"
“the cops are actually on their way right now.” "Dude your mom just texted me, and told me she wants to talk to you right now." "I think there's someone outside the window..." (he will say this when it's night time specifically) "Did you hear that? Was that someone saying your name?"
Let's just say that if you scare easily, this trip is not going to be very fun. And you have eight hours to deal with it.
ᯓ If you start crying though, Nam-gyu will be the one to pull you into his chest. Comforting you, trying not to move too much and shushing you quietly.
Su bong would be sitting at the end of the bed watching with worried eyes. He doesn’t want to risk overstimulating you too much, as that is a very frequent thing that can and will happen.
ᯓ First trips are INTENSE. All of these emotions you’re feeling coming to the forefront so suddenly. A floodgate absolutely will burst.
ᯓ Su bong would be the one to pull up TikTok. Which is always a gamble when scrolling through while on shrooms. Especially if you’re still getting visuals. Either the funniest videos in the world will show up, or the most horrifying thing you’ve ever seen will be bestowed upon you.
ᯓ Nam gyu is the one who gets an idea to build a fire outside. The come up hasn’t hit any of you yet, so you have a good forty minutes to build this fire. You and Su-bong pull some chairs off the patio, pulling them close enough to be able to feel the fire and watch it.
ᯓ Walks with them while on shrooms is honestly the most peaceful though. If you’re walking through a path in the woods, sunlight streaming through the leaves, it’s absolutely gorgeous. It’s like you’re seeing the world through a different lens.
The leaves on the trees would look like they're sparkling, the bark would look like it's breathing, pulsing slowly back and forth. The three of you take your time outside, stopping and watching nature.
ᯓ Out of the three of you, Su-bong is the one who gets after-shrooms depression the most. It's pretty simple, once the high goes away you just feel empty and depressed. All of those intense feelings now dissipated back into how they were before.
ੈ✩‧₊˚༺‧₊˚
"Holy fuck dude...." Su-bong whispered, the grip he had on his phone tightened before he dropped it into his lap. A hand came up to his face as he tried to contain his laughter. "I am so fucked up right now."
You glanced over at his phone to see the front facing camera was open. The icons on that weren't covered by his hand were swaying in your eyes, almost like they were going to crawl off the screen.
Goosebumps rose up on your skin when you felt Nam-gyu's fingers trail up your bicep. He was laying down on the bed, curled into your side, listening to your steady heartbeats.
Su-bong was sat crisscross at the end of the bed, your feet pushed up against his shin. You couldn't stop staring at his hair, it looked like it was blowing in a subtle breeze, every time he moved the color seemed to leave a translucent trail before settling back on his head.
His eyes almost seemed to twinkle in the light, the sun shining in from the window right down onto him. It made him look ethereal.
"Tell me about it dude, I keep seeing a face in the corner of my eyes." Nam-gyu chuckled quietly, snuggling himself closer into your chest.
"Is it scary?" Su-bong asked, swaying a little back and forth slowly.
Nam-gyu continued to trace small patterns into your arm, "Nah he's chill."
You looked down at Nam-gyu's hand on your arm, staring as it almost looked like his fingers would dip beneath your skin any second.
"You feeling good, babe?" Su-bong asked, his eyes meeting yours. God his pupils were huge, you're sure yours were no better.
"I fucking love this." You sighed out, leaning your head back against the wall.
ੈ✩‧₊˚༺‧₊˚
The one who is most likely to beg you to make out with them, hold them, do a little more with them is nam- just kidding it's both of them.
One thing about shrooms is it will make you clingier and hornier than a motherfucker (sometimes... depends on who you're with and doing it with). And they are absolutely no different.
Once the comedown stops and you're all just chilling in your high, you'll be sandwiched between them.
Nam-gyu laying in front of you, his lips moving in sync with yours, a hand braced on your waist right below Su-bong's arm that was wrapped around you.
The purple haired menace would be laying behind you, his whole body pressed flush against yours as he nips and sucks on your neck. Whispering filthy things into your ear that makes both Nam-gyu and you whine desperately.
God everything felt so much more intense right now. Every sense was heightened to the max, you felt like you were vibrating, you have never needed them more than right now.
#nam gyu#su bong#choi su bong#squid game#squid game x reader#thanos x reader#thanos squid game#squid game x you#thanos x nam gyu x reader#nam gyu x reader#nam gyu x you#nam gyu squid game#violet writes#violets headcanons
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I absolutely adore how you write the whole gang 🥹 May I request more scenarios with them, please? I miss your angst. Would doomed love be alright? Thank you so much
Tulpar crew x reader || Ma Meilleure Ennemie
oh lord this took so long. these are so ooc I'm so sorry in advance. I'll just use Grant as Curly's first name for now.
#: gender neutral reader. angst. not proof-read.
⚠️ character deaths. gore. mouthwashing spoilers. yk, #justjimmythings 💖. toxic relationships.
[I was honestly worried I've written them too ooc 💧 thank you so much anon I'm glad you enjoy my ramblings!]
[ Anya ]
🟦 "I love you, I'm leaving you." ⬛
The night before, she'd confessed to you. You had a long heart to heart conversation with the nurse. Told you everything; Why her financial situation was in the gutter, academic issues, Pony express, Jimmy. After you'd attempted to comfort her, you told her yours once she insisted that she was fine hearing everything. Eventually, you both ended up with something more lighthearted. Hobbies, favorite music, hell, even favorite Pokemon/s. So, when Daisuke came rushing to both you and Jimmy the next day, cutting off the dry conversation, your heart sank. The two men tried to talk her out of the medical room, slamming and tugging on the door which made you flinch and your fingers felt numb. Did Anya feel the same? You had to bite your tongue at Jimmy's words, Anya told you to after all. It's best not to provoke him when we're trapped here. I can't keep watching you be treated like this, Anya. Especially not after knowing what he did to you. And I don't want him to hurt you either. Please. If not for me, for Daisuke and Swansea too. Quickly dismissing the 'Captain', Anya called your name. You loved it when she did. Your heart guiltily flutters and shatters at the same time. "Are you there?" "Y-Yeah." You stammered, the two looking back at you as you moved closer to the door. "Yes. I'm here, Anya. Please. Please, open the door." Anya smiles. He doesn't want Jimmy's voice to be the last she'll hear. "Open the damn door." "You were right." Her tone resigned. You can hear her take a deep breath. "You were right all along. I should have done this from the beginning. I always believed that our worst moments didn't define us. Didn't make us beyond repair." It was silent for a moment, her voice much softer. She probably moved away from the door. "You think I wanted this either? Make no mistake. This isn't my worst moment. Far from it." "It's the best decision I'll ever make." "Anya, please." "Open the door." "I'll take care of it." "Anya?!" Daisuke bangs on the door. "Please. Don't leave me, Anya." Your voice cracks as you call out for her in desperation, hand clutching onto Daisuke's shirt as an attempt to ground yourself. There were so many options in your head that you didn't know what to do. You were frozen. The panic worsens when Anya calls for your name again. "I'm sorry. I love you."
[ Curly ]
🎂 The best of all curses. 👁️
Your hands were shaky, clinging onto the bandaged man. It probably hurt him, but it kept you grounded. How selfish. Everyone else was dead, you knew you were next and so did he. And all he could do was make noises as if you could understand. It was supposed to be strings of I'm sorries but only vowels spilled along with tears. You fidget with the ring on your finger, a symbol of a promise never came true. You don't even know if his survived somewhere. Was it stuck in the foam along with his severed arm? Was it even still there. "We never decided whose last name to use, huh." You chuckle, hand still on his chest as you feel for his heartbeat. "Can this be our wedding instead?" Your veil being the hair that stuck to your face, clinging onto blood and sweat. He makes a noise, and you consider that as a yes. "Grant █████, I do. I still do." And you sob, carefully holding his chin and kissing the bandage just over his cheek. The ceremony cut to a halt when he starts writhing as he notices another presence. Jimmy had thought you were going to hurt him, too panicked to even think properly, the air being thin doesn't help either. The captain drags you off out of sight, the former unable to do anything.
[ Jimmy ]
♦️ The worst of all blessings. 🔪
The axe dragged on the floor, metal meeting metal as you shrugged off the grating noise. Take responsibility. While he was busy off with Swansea, you managed to grab the axe unnoticed. Until now at least. You found him, sitting along with everyone. You were late to the party it seems and you were the plus one. "Are you also trying to fucking kill me after I saved the last pod for you?" "How romantic." You knew he was lying. He prioritized Curly despite it all and out of all people, you would know that. Co-dependency's finest. You glance at Curly who could only stare back, too tired to writhe in pain. "Is this our anniversary dinner?" Jimmy visibly grips on his fork as his knuckles turn white. "This isn't even all my fault!" He's self-aware. "Curly didn't have to enter that fucking room. If Swansea didn't guard utility, Daisuke would still be here, and I was just defending myself from Swansea! Now you're taking his side?!" The past year had been like this with him. Somehow, it's never his fault. It's impressive, really, how he manages to divert everything away from him. "Anya?" "You weren't giving me enough attention." You give him a look after letting out a noise of disbelief and his knees almost buckle out of nervousness. He hates it. He hates how he could feel like this around you. Vulnerability was never his forte, but he somehow let someone love him. Loved him. Somehow, even after all this, you put some blame on yourself. You let go of the tool, dropping onto the floor with a loud clang as you stood at the other end of the table, across from him. Your palms rest on the surface, putting your weight on it as you grabbed the edges. "Is the pod really going to be for me?" "I-" he chokes on his own words, frustrated. Unconsciously, his gaze moves over to Curly. Was the guilt eating him up? Good. "How do we fix this, Jimmy?" "How are you going to fix this?" He stays silent. Before you could continue, he moved fast. Too fast. You hear a metal click and— BANG.
[ Daisuke ]
🌺 "I love you, I'm waiting for you." 🪓
Naive you both were. He knew how tug on both of your strings. Daisuke and his longing for approval, and you with your feelings for Daisuke. Somehow, he managed to separate you both, just enough time so he could convince the intern to enter the vents. When you'd return with the item Jimmy needed, you slammed it on the table and ran over to the bottom of the entrance. "Wait- wait! Does he really have to go?!" You didn't want to piss Jimmy off, but there was an unsettling feeling in your gut. "We can wait for Swansea to wake—" "There's no more fucking time. Curly and Anya needs us." "I'll be okay. I promise." He can't turn around now, there was barely any space for him so instead, he remains curled up there, not wanting to accidentally snag on the loose wires. You chewed on your lower lip to the point where you tasted metal. Daisuke calls for your attention. "You still there?" "Mhm." "I'll be back, okay? Meet me back at med?" He hates it there and you knew it. Even if his voice weren't as shaky as it is now, you'd still know it. So why was he trying to calm you down. "Be careful." You assumed that he nodded when he crawled off. This time, there was no one to hold your hand to stop yourself from digging your nails into your cuticles. There was shuffling and grunting when suddenly something crashes and he screams in pain and your body felt cold. "Daisuke!" "Shitshitshit- hang on, kid. Keep going." "He's fucking hurt!" "Get a grip. He can't turn around." Jimmy holds you by the shoulders as an attempt to ground you before tilting his head, gesturing to head back up already. There was... Blood everywhere. Lacerations and electrocution burns littered all around his. Swansea and Jimmy were arguing after 'sanitizing' the injuries and you were holding onto Daisuke's hand as he gripped it tight, the other pressing your torn jacket as an attempt to stop the bleeding. You push all your feelings aside, focused on keeping him alive but when he groans out apologies, you couldn't help but tear up, biting your lower lip hard to stop yourself from crying. Not now. "Hey! Stop, stop, stop! Don't move!" You feel a hand on your shoulder as Swansea kneels beside you, setting the axe on his lap as his calloused fingers pried yours away from Daisuke's chest and made you intertwine yours with Daisuke's. "Spill it, kid." As much as you didn't want this to happen, you understood the situation and you feel your cheek dampen. Your free hand holds Daisuke's cheek, swiping off the tears and some of the blood as you tried to hush his pain. It doesn't work, but you were there for him and that was enough. You were always enough for him. More than it. He coughs again in-between his sobs and you hold his hand tighter. Shh, I'm here. It'll be okay. "Mmrgh.... I love you." Brushing his hair away from his face and pressing your lips onto his forehead one final time. "I love you too, Daisuke. So much." You finally pry yourself off of him and Swansea speaks next. When he asks him to close his eyes, he glances at you first and you smile before he finally does.
[ Swansea ]
🪓 Better than alone, is to be in bad company. 🦢
Hugging your knees, you two sat in silence trying to process everything. Swansea was staring at a bottle of Dragonbreath X, red fingerprints contrasting the artificial blue. If anything, you expected him to chug it down after the events had unfolded. But he doesn't. You only flinch as he threw the bottle onto the wall, loose cap flying off somewhere as the contents spilled to the floor. "Listen to me." Your head perks up, tilting to face him but he wasn't looking at you. He was staring blankly at the barely empty bottle laying Infront of him. "Haven't experienced all, but I've experienced enough. I'm ready." "Swan—" "Can it and listen." You purse your lips, leaning onto your forearm as you hug your knees closer. "Remember the Cryopods?" You nod. "Was trying to fix two. For you and Daisuke." He chuckles dryly. "Could only get one up and workin'. It was hard you know. Figuring out which one'a ya should get it." "Who did you choose?" "Like asking for a favorite child? Hope you never get that choice." He looks down and continues, voice trailing off. "Couldn't decide. But since Daisuke's..." Your gaze moves to the same empty bottle. "What I'm saying is, I need you to get to it. Don't worry about ol' Swansea. I'll handle Jimmy." "Swansea?" He grunts in acknowledgement. "Can I hug you?" He hesitates for a moment before finally opening his arms and you crawl in-between them.
[A/N: I honestly wanted Swansea's line for Jimmy but I wanted Curly and Jimmy's to parallel. Same goes for Daisuke and Swansea, instead I paralleled dsk with Anya. I'd love to ramble on about why I chose the lines but let's keep this note short and sweet lol.]
#anya#curly#daisuke#jimmy#swansea#tulpar#anya x reader#curly x reader#daisuke x reader#jimmy x reader#swansea x reader#tulpar crew x reader#x reader#reader insert#gender neutral reader#gn reader#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#angst
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All because of some stupid pants?- Part 4
《Nothin but misunderstandings》
Note: Simon's first near death experience ×~× and wounded pride °~°
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Looking around the shop and he could already tell that he was NOT saying anything about your pants being the shittiest thing he's even laid his eyes on. And there was no way he was telling soap about this place's existence either.
"Uh yeah... thanks?" Simon was at a loss for words, this shop definitely lived up to its slogan and picturing YOU of all people buying clothes from here? Now he REALLY felt like a jackass. The shop owner notices him faster before Simon can step out of the door. An older man in his late fifties in casual black slacks with a purple turtleneck and blazer to match. And gave a low whistle as he appeared from behind the clothing racks
"Well as I live and breathe! THE Simon Riley. Hmph?...a lot bigger than i thought you'd be"
Simon knew better than to leave without answers now as he shut the door and finally walked to the shopkeeper with a hard stare and rigid posture. Before grunting out "You know me?"
He gave the man a full once over as the shop keeper gave him a charming smile behind his dark shades. "The Missus comes by here with her friends, they've been teasing your little lady when they heard you managed to snatch the poor girl's heart. Haven't seen her in a while, was hoping she'd drag you here herself" the shopkeeper shook Simon's as he introduced himself as William.
A slap to the face is what this felt like. Simon never felt shorter than the 5ft man that was in front of him right now. He felt like a kid being fondover as if he didn't finish just breaking a girl's heart. Looks like you never told him. And to hear someone call you his Missus? the only thing missing now was putting his last name after it. That was just rubbing salt on a festering wound at this point. Simon had to clear his throat and shake off the thoughts that only felt like a dream at this point.
"She hasn't been around?" Shifting his boots as the weird ass clothes were starting to look particularly interesting right now, his gaze falling on a familiar shitty looking goose. Fuck, at this point he'd rather be deployed than be in this damn shop.
"Haven't seen much of her lately but she's probably been busy with you" William nudged Simon's arm and it only made his skin crawl. His mouth clamped shut as the shopkeeper dragged him further into the hell of shitty fashion "since your here now! I'm suuuure the Missus wouldn't mind you buying a few sets for her. Just got a new shipment I've been dying to show her. You can even get a matching pair, on the house for taking care of the little lady. She's a good one, soft and shy that one is. Not like her friends, rowdy bunch of hyenas if you ask me."
Yup, this was starting to be the second worst decision Simon Riley has ever made. Heart twisting hard enough that he might need to call his captain to drive him to the ER. Hearing this old man gush about his girl....well, what once was his girl. Like a father fussing over a daughter being the best in the world. All Simon could do was stand there in his hulking form as the shop keeper showed him a variety of who ever the fuck was Tim Burton.
William chuckled as he handed him a pair that weren't as much of an eyesore than the others "you look like a guy who doesn't use color. This one's got your name on it."
Simon just stared at the pants in his hands, didn't have the heart to reject the offer of a size too big to wear. William gave the biggest grin as Simon just held a Neon green pajama pants with Jack Skellington and Oogie Boogie faces littered around with tiny pumpkins and worms?? The fuck was Simon looking at?
William picks out 3 other pairs for you in the size you love the most. All Simon could do was watch as he was dragged to the cashier while he was fishing out his wallet. A dark green pair with different types of cute pancakes and eggs. Another one of a character named Sally in a light blue and the last ones were of bones and skulls over black. They were advertised for glowing in the dark and if Simon was a little jealous of those, he didn't show it.
Simon quickly paid in cash and headed home, not wanting to start another conversation about his now Ex little bird. The bag of pants making him feel like he was in a never ending loop of suffering. Once home and being able to toss the bag on the counter as if it burned his skin. Simon just paced his apartment, cracking open a beer and eyeing the God forsaken bag like it was a bomb ready to go off. 3 beers in before he decided to open the pack and try them on and everything he thought before was proven right as he stared at himself in the mirror.
The pants made feel as stupid as he looked. Pissed and humiliated in the fact that he ACTUALLY tried them on and having to hold them up by his hand. grunting out a curse as he had to tie the dumb string because he knew he wasn't a 3XL. The stupid pants were a death trap in the making, nearly tripping out of the bathroom when his foot accidentally snagged the cuff at the bottom like a kid tripping on his shoelaces.
Snapping another beer open as he simmered in his anger and plopping himself on his couch with a grunt while muttering to himself
"The fuck is the point of these shits? Why cant she just be a normal adult and just use fuckin sweats, theres no point in these loose shitty built fuckin..." each curse came out with a growl. A few hours later he was still wearing them and a bit surprised he wasn't over heating like he usually does in his other choice of sweats. Fiddling with the strings as his anger finally calmed down. Maybe they were nice but he wasn't gonna admit it. He certainly wasn't gonna tell you that they were a lot more breathable than sweats or how they became his go to pants when he got home. It was nearly the end of the second week when he finally got the courage rip out a note and scrawl out 'Sorry for being an ass -simon’
He let out a deep breath as he stared at the note for what felt like hours, pocketing his keys as he headed to your place. Lord only knows why someone hadn't call the cops on Simon at this point. Here he was in the middle of the night in black sweats and a hoodie with a mask over his mouth. Standing outside your door for who knows how long with a black bag hooked loosely around his fingers.
At that point, Simon had made up his mind and just hooked the bag onto your door and left without another word. Going back home and changing into the stupid pants that finally started to grow on him. Finally coming to the realization that he lost the one good thing he had in this shitty life.
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○~○ *idk how many I'm doin* °~°
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another short mattfoggy fic rec list
because what the actual fuck was that
Through the Looking Glass by 94BottlesOfSnapple
39,935 words | rated T
Foggy Nelson is in love with Matt Murdock, but he knows it's not going anywhere -- Matt's straight. And that's fine! But when another Matt and Foggy pop into the middle of Foggy's apartment one night, well, things change. This older, redheaded Matt turns out to be... A lot more receptive. Apparently, he's in love with his own Foggy, and it's not going anywhere for him either. (aka: the one where 616!Matt and Netflix!Foggy already know they're bi and in love with their best friend, and 616!Foggy and Netflix!Matt figure it out along the way)
Even though I've never actually read the comics, I enjoyed this fic so much bc it's really just got everything that I love about Daredevil and mattfoggy as a ship -- humor, tension, reconciliation, yearning, (not actually) unrequited love, etc. Not to mention that I'm also a huge sucker for both the trope of two people finding their way to one another in any (and every) universe, but also I love me a crackfic!
I Decided This by patster223
5,298 words | rated T
“I’m contributing yet another lovely sign to our office,” Foggy says, brandishing the finished product with a flourish. Matt can’t see the sign, but he can probably sense the flourish, which is what matters. “It says, ‘It has been ‘0’ days since Matt made an idiotic decision.’” “Doesn’t seem like it will inspire much trust from our clients.” What the sign instead inspires: debates, understanding, a patented Murdock-level guilt trip, ice cream celebrations, a kiss, and perhaps even a way to finally move forward.
I love the idea of Foggy using the whiteboard as a means of keeping track of if Matt needs a check-in. Because Matt absolutely needs it. One of my favorite fics that touches on a way that Matt is still actually blind despite his super senses.
The Vigilantes' Boyfriend Support Group by phonecallfromgod
4,865 words | rated T
The worst part of it was, Foggy’d been having a perfectly pleasant day before he’d woken up blindfolded and tied to a chair. Or Foggy makes an unlikely friend in an unlikely place and they bond over some very specific shared life experience.
This is just a fun cute fic that also features Peter/Ned and the parallels between them and mattfoggy are just too good. Ned being so blasé about the situation they find themselves in is also fantastic and I love them all.
Look Around, It's You I Can't Replace by Fickle_Obsessions
12,123 words | rated E
Matt handles his separation from Foggy after the breakup of Nelson and Murdock a bit less well than he anticipated. As in he doesn't really handle it at all.
A fic that I honestly consider canon at this point. Matt not being able to handle the separation from Foggy is so beautifully and painfully in character, and I love it.
no single bite could satisfy by jk_rockin
5,963 words | rated E
"I can feed myself," Matt says defensively. "I'm not a child, Foggy." "And this spoon isn't really an airplane, but I'm willing to pretend if you are," says Foggy, waggling the spoon, and sighing when Matt frowns. "Okay, no airplane, but I made you soup, and you're going to eat it without getting it all over yourself. Be grateful it's not in a sippy cup." "A sippy cup wouldn't boss me around," Matt grumbles, but he opens his mouth anyway, and lets Foggy guide the spoon to his lips.
A smutty fic that's so sweet I could die. This fic satiated something in me, tbh. A hunger I didn't know I had.
Day Forty-Seven by Marchling
17,514 words | rated M
“Stop it with the heartbeat thing, Matt. Seriously, it’s creepy. And invasive. And disrespectful.” He wasn’t ever trying to be creepy about it. It wasn’t something he even paid much attention to anymore. He was always hyper-aware of Foggy’s heartbeat. He used it to ground himself, to block out the rest of the input he got and keep himself from being overwhelmed. Finding ways to filter out all the input his senses bombarded him with was vital to his sanity, to his ability to function and to any chance of sleep he had. It helped, Foggy helped, even when he didn’t know it. But now he did know and he didn’t like it. He wanted Matt to stop, so that was what he would try to do. Things were so tenuous between them, Matt knew from the way Foggy’s voice sounded when he said it that if Matt didn’t stop it would drive the rift between them impossibly and maybe even irrevocably deeper. He loved Foggy too much to let that happen – he loved Foggy too much in general.
A fun take on Matt trying to deal with the aftermath of Foggy finding out about his senses, and his desperation to do whatever he has to to make sure Foggy stays. Because of course Matt uses Foggy's sounds as an anchor, and of course he wouldn't think to try to explain it to Foggy.
Just Wanna Take Him Home by lady_ragnell
12,918 words | rated T
Foggy mostly takes little old ladies to parties doing escort jobs, which he's fine with. Getting hired to spend two hours hugging a lawyer is kind of a departure. He should have known it would all get complicated fast.
A classic prostitute!Foggy premise that I love dearly bc all Matt wants (needs) are cuddles and nice, chill, mostly-one-sided conversations. There's just something so fun about AUs where Matt and Foggy missed each other at Columbia but still find their way to each other in the end.
I'm gonna spend my weekend rereading all of these, probably.
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Warmth & Rest
So'lek x Sarentu!Reader (Romancing Pandora 2024 Day 1 - Somnophilia)
A/N: I should preface this by saying I've only ever written smut a whopping total of 1 time and I was 15 or 16 so as a soon to be 23 year old this will only be the 2nd smut I've ever written 😬
Tagging: @eywaite @neteyamsyawntu
Synopsis: So'lek is more injured than you both had first thought and the dapophet pods that you retrieved for him could only do so much. His injury, the approaching RDA and the enveloping darkness force you both to retreat to a mossy cave in order to rest before making the remaining trek to Resistance HQ. Sharing a sleeping space to preserve body heat seemed like a good idea to begin with but awakening and feeling the soft curves of your body pressed against his brings feelings forward that So'lek thought he wouldn't feel again.
Fic Includes: NSFW so MDNI, So'lek's sass, low-key corruption kink??, hints at touch starved So'lek, So'lek grinds against reader and touches her while she sleeps so if you don't like that then don't read this but honestly the somnophilia is very little of this fic, solo male stuff, Dom So'lek and Sub Reader, 1 count em 1 spank of the puss, fingering, squirting, p in v, 3.4k words

A group of Sarentus, frozen in time by sky people technology for 16 long years. A botched rescue mission resulting in a split group. A dislocated shoulder, now healing as a result of the dapophet pod so eagerly retrieved for him that he could still taste the acrid tang of on the back of his tongue. Darkness approaching and RDA around every corner. While this may not have been the worst day in his life it certainly wouldn’t make his top 10 list of best either.
Although the trek to Resistance headquarters wasn’t necessarily a long one, So'lek's pounding head, the ache in his shoulder and the clumsy steps of the more tawtute than na’vi trailing behind him were making the trip seem uncommonly strenuous.
“Maybe we should stop?” Your voice breaks through the silence, concerned at the occasional wince that cut through the air from So’lek’s lips when he was forced to move his previously dislocated shoulder. “The RDA.. and your arm, we should-”
“The RDA are exactly why we need to keep moving, we can not be caught off guard” His refusal to look at you while speaking caused irritation to bubble under your skin and the aggravated flick of his tail drew your eyes in. Watching as it moved, betraying his emotions, you silently wondered if at any point since you had ‘woken up’ your own tail made your feelings known so obviously. If it had flicked to attention at the frustrating man in front of you calling you ‘Sarentu’, if it had swayed behind you in a delicate swing when he broke his stoic image and promised to gift you with a new songcord. A sudden, harsh hiss of pain snapped you out of your daze and seeing So’lek gripping his shoulder made an uncontrollable huff of annoyance escape your lips.
“We must stop So’lek. You are in pain!” Instead of arguing or completely ignoring your concerns this time he paused, his ears seeming to twitch with each individual thought that ran through his head.
The sound of distant shooting made his decision for him and the deep hiss that ripped out of So’lek’s mouth made an unusual feeling burn in your belly. “Come, there is a place… a halfway point not far from here. We may rest there until it is light once again.”
This ‘halfway point’ as So’lek had called it was no more than a deep cave filled with soft green moss that cushioned your every step and a few stray RDA issue containers that at one point may have some supplies but presently lay empty and useless.
“You may make yourself comfortable, Sarentu” His patronizing tone caused your ears to twitch back defensively and you itch to turn your back on him and retreat to the furthest part of the cave to get away from him but the look of pain on his face as he attempts to remove his modified RDA vest keeps your feet planted in place. Closing the gap between you both you reach for the straps yourself and begin to help him.
The feeling of your cool, soft fingers unintentionally dragging against his skin while you help remove his vest makes So’lek’s muscles tense and brings to the front of his mind that, although being covered by more fabric than himself, you were unused to the climate of the outside world.
Feeling So’lek shift under your hands you looked up from his straps to find him already looking back at you. “Come, we will set up a place to rest in the moss. It will help to keep us warm while we wait for the light” All the softness of his sentiment is ripped away just as quickly as So’lek himself rips away from you and you watch as he removes the vest without struggle now that the straps are undone. “Quickly, Sarentu, we don’t want you to freeze after the effort of retrieving you.”
You roll your eyes and scoff but join So’lek in the soft cushion of the flat circle of moss present in the middle of the cave. Laying down on your side you purposefully turn your back to him and try to get some rest all the while feeling So'lek’s gaze on your back.
Movement on his right causes So’lek to rouse from sleep and he immediately notices the pressure of your body against his along with the persistent shivers racking your body, your back is still facing him but your tail has betrayed your unconscious search for his warmth by curling around his thigh, the small tuft of hair on the end brushing against his abs at the top of his tewng.
The cave that housed you both was now completely dark apart from the slight bioluminescence of the undisturbed moss and the tanhi that were gently shimmering on both of your bodies. So’lek surmised that it had been, at the most, 3 hours, since you’d entered together and when he shifted to his side in order to better share his heat with you he was happy to feel no pull or pain from his previously injured shoulder.
Another shiver racks your body and before he can stop himself his hand makes its way to the skin of your hip where your demon chest covering had ridden up to expose your skin. He watches his hand moving in what feels like an out of body experience, thumb stroking the delicate glowing tanhi that dot your skin.
Despite what you perceived earlier as irritation from him, the truth could not be further from what you thought. When the dreamwalker, Alma, came to So’lek and begged for his help with her mission to the RDA base he wasn’t expecting the abandoned Sarentu to even be there let alone for them to be alive. Then you, the last of the remaining Sarentu to wake… you looked at him with such curiosity, your tail flicking to attention when he spoke to you, he felt an undeniable urge to be close to you. It was the first time in many cycles that So’lek had felt this attraction to another, the last time being briefly before the battle of the Hallelujah mountains which had left him much like yourself.. without a clan to be a part of.
After only a few minutes of sharing his body heat with yours, So’lek feels your shivers stop and your body relaxes into his grip. Your tail makes content, sleepy little brushes against his abs and your breath huffs out with gentle purrs.
Content that you’re feeling a lot more comfortable now compared to when you accidentally woke him, So’lek allows his eyes to drift closed in an effort to fall asleep once more and get more rest before making the remaining trek to Resistance HQ.
Silence surrounds you both and the cave is peaceful once more, his breathing begins to even out but before the sweet relief of sleep can wash over him, the combination of your tail’s insistent movement continuously brushing the band of his tewng and the feeling of the soft curve of your ass pressed so close to his cock makes it twitch to life with interest.
Beginning to remove himself from you, ashamed of his body’s depraved reaction to the little amount of contact between you, he’s stopped by a pitiful whimper at the loss of his heat and a firmer press of your body against his in your unconscious effort to make sure he stays close.
He really doesn’t mean to roll his hips into the plush flesh of your ass, doesn’t mean to press his hard cock against the print of your pussy through your uncomfortably rough RDA shorts. But the reward of your sweet little whimper makes him do it again and again until his tewng is painfully tight and all the friction against your pussy is causing a damp spot to darken your shorts.
Uncomfortable with the pressure of his tewng keeping his dick constricted, So’lek fights with himself for less than he’d like to admit before loosening the strings and holding back a groan as he takes a hold of his throbbing, flushed cock. Pre-cum beads heavily on his blushing purple tip and he knows that if he were to check there would be an embarrassing amount clinging to the inside of his tewng from the simple stimulation of humping against you like an animal.
Smoothing his rough palm over his sensitive head forces a hiss to escape his lips but the lubrication of his pre-cum gives his hand a glide over his cock as he begins to jerk his hand over his length, tightening his grip in a poor emulation of how tight he can picture your inexperienced pussy clenching on him would be.
So’lek reaches for you again, needing to feel some sort of contact between you before he lets himself cum. It’s been so long that after only a dozen strokes of his cock he can already feel his heavy balls drawing close to his body, begging to release his load.
Pressing close to you once more, So’lek can now feel the damp outline of your puffy cunt against his bare cock. The thought of how sensitive you must be to get so worked up with so little contact makes him dizzy as he works his way between the soft grip of your thighs.
So’lek’s hand clamps onto the bare skin of your hip too hard to recover from and when he hears your sleepy mumble asking him about what was going on he can feel the sting of embarrassment spreading through his body. He begs Eywa to grant him mercy, prays for you to fall asleep before you can realise what he’s done so he can withdraw himself and hide his shame but Eywa shows him no such forgiveness.
“So’lek..?” You call out, still trying to break through the haze of sleep that continues to cloud your mind.
“I’m sorry, Sarentu, I don’t know what possessed me” So’lek’s deep voice cut through the darkness, snapping you out of your half asleep daze and the feeling of his big, rough hand removing itself from your hip helped to solidify your consciousness further. The burn of where it once was making you instantly miss the feeling.
Your body aches with need, stimulated beyond anything you’d felt before and it hurts now that So’lek has stopped.
“So’lek..” The last time you’d felt this ache in your gut was during your early teen years when you’d developed a fleeting attraction to Teylan but even that didn’t produce the pulsing need coming from your damp cunt or the slick seeping through your shorts. “Please do not stop now… it is hurting”
So’lek huffs out a growl at your words, sounding as if he was experiencing pain when in reality it was the pure, unbridled desire that you ignited in him forcing the sound out. “And where does it hurt, little one?” His large hand suddenly cups your aching cunt through your shorts and you whimper at the feeling of the seam pressing harder into your swollen clit, desperately pitching your hips into his hand to make the feeling last.
“There! So’lek please, do not torture me!” An embarrassed burn heats your face at the pathetic sound of your own voice but So’lek is only encouraged by how eager you are just feeling his palm against you.
“Mawey, Sarentu… Mawey” He brings his hand away slightly and swiftly brings it back to your cunt with a dull smack, the feeling and sound being dampened by your shorts. “I’ll make the hurt go away, do not worry” So’lek moves his hands back to your hips and grips them in his hands as he encourages you to roll onto your front, settling on his knees behind you and eagerly ripping your shorts down your thighs. The friction of them against the delicate skin forces a defiant hiss to escape you and in response, So’lek’s large, rough hand wraps around the base of your tail and gives it a harsh tug.
A pathetic whine escapes you as So’lek’s forceful grip brings your back end up into a perfect arch and you are painfully aware that with your tail out of his way, So’lek is now being gifted as clear of a view of your most intimate part that he can achieve in the low glow of the mossy cave that houses you both.
“Ma’Sarentu…” He growls over the words as he witnesses you so incredibly flushed and wet just for him.
The feeling of So’lek’s fingers parting your slit furthers your embarrassment but only serves to make your cunt pulse and clench under his intense gaze. “So’lek, p-please stop looking there-”
He interrupts you with a deep chuckle and your hips subconsciously jolt back towards him looking for something to finally get rid of the ache.
“Why should I, Ma’Sarentu? It is mine to look at” You knees threaten to buckle at the possessiveness behind his words. In your life you’d been denied so many milestones and experiences that dot the life of a normal Na’vi and So’lek calling you his made your natural instincts scream out for him.
“Yes!” You borderline yell at him, tears filling your eyes “Yes it is- I am- Yours! I am yours”
So’lek shushes you as he sinks his long index and middle finger into you, causing you to squeal as they immediately brush against a part of you that has never been touched by even your own fingers. The feeling of your warm cunt clamping tight to his fingers makes So’lek sigh your name and forces him to give his cock a firm tug to relieve some of the pain from his neglect.
Your fingers desperately search for grip in the soft moss cushioning your body as So’lek’s fingers bully their way against your g-spot again and again, forcing punched out whines from your throat that you can’t find control over. Each thrust and curl and scissor of his fingers makes the steady growing pit of need in your gut all the more noticeable and for a moment you’re convinced you might just explode from the intensity of all the feelings that consume you.
So’lek watches, a man possessed by the sight, as your soaked pussy leaves a creamy ring gathering at his knuckles and your body trembles from the punishing pace of his fingers. He feels cruel for drawing out your ache, knowing that you most likely won’t cum from penetration alone, but he can’t contain the part of him that yearns to see you so desperate and submissive for him while hating the idea of this coming to an end too quickly.
“You are… the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, Sarentu” A broken sob falls from your lips as So’lek finally presses his thumb to your throbbing clit, an uncontrollable string of “Thank you” breathlessly escaping you. A few lazy, firm circles is all it takes for your cunt to spasm and gush around his fingers but So’lek makes sure to bump and curl his fingers against your g-spot to drag it out, forcing stream after stream of clear fluid to splash over both of your thighs and the moss beneath you until your voice gives out mid scream of his name.
You pant for air, the intensity of your first orgasm making it feel hard to get enough air into your lungs. Your head feels heavy, your arms feel weak and So’lek can feel your legs quivering with the threat to give out. Taking pity on you, shaking under him like a leaf, So’lek moves you onto your back.
Blinking rapidly to clear the haze from your eyes you stare up at So'lek's form hovering over you and despite having him practically rip your orgasm out of you not 5 minutes prior you feel your stomach flip with nerves as he leans in to kiss you. The flat of his nose brushes against your own and his lips meet yours, his kisses expressing more than he could with his words if he tried.
So’lek pulls back first, leaving you chasing his lips for more as he laughs his deep, hearty laugh at your eagerness. “Ma’Sarentu..” His breath tickles your lips as he speaks “I must have you.. but only if you are ready to have me..”
How could you refuse? With So’lek looking at you as if you were sent to him by Eywa herself you were sure there was never anything in your life that you wanted more than him. “So’lek.. I need you..”
Your pretty face only flushes more as So’lek hooks your leg over his hip and holds it in place while his free hand takes his painfully hard cock and runs the head through your sloppy folds. You’re sure that your skin must be glowing purple when he catches your oversensitive little clit with his motions and can’t hold back from laughing at the jolt that takes over your body.
So’lek’s cock throbs in his hand as your slick coats his sensitive head and when he finally feels the relief of your tight cunt gripping him while he pushes into you, he can’t hold back the borderline feral noise that rips from his throat.
“Ma’yawntu, you were made for me..”
Forcing himself to take it slow takes a level of self control that So’lek struggles to reach, your pussy is gripping him so tightly in its wet warmth but he knows he can’t push you too far too fast. Bringing his hand between your bodies, his fingers find your swollen clit and slide over it with precision that makes your head spin and your cunt relax enough to take more of his length.
By the time So’lek manages to fill you completely all that can escape you is a choked off scream. His cockhead is crammed against your g-spot while he rolls your clit between his fingers and the incredible weight of his length inside of you makes it feel as if he was always meant to be there.
So’lek starts with shallow thrusts, not wanting to overwhelm you with the brutal pace his body craves to fuck you with but the sound of his cock plunging in and out of your wet cunt is making it hard to hold himself back.
It’s a boost to his ego how quickly he feels the same twitch around his cock that he felt around his fingers not long ago and he doubles his efforts to aim his cock against your g-spot with each thrust, punching broken moans out of your throat with each hit.
Feeling you cum around his cock is better than So’lek could have imagined, you tighten impossibly around him making it hard to keep thrusting with the grip your pussy has on him. His ears pin back as he snarls, desperately holding back from cumming inside you as you scream for him.
You watch So’lek pull from you and can’t stop your eyes from widening when you see the size of his cock. The beginnings of the light of day are starting to creep into the cave giving you a clear view of your slick coating his impressive cock.
Firmly gripping his length he immediately tries to match the pace he was fucking you with his hand, his grip is a disappointing comparison to the clamp of your cunt around him and he’s sure that he’ll never find pleasure easily again if it’s not from being buried deep inside you.
So’lek’s half lidded eyes gaze down at you, the wet sound of his hand gliding over his cock filling the cave along with both of your heavy breathing. He’s being given such a beautiful image to jerk his cock too, one he wishes he could see for the rest of time when he closed his eyes. You’ve propped yourself up onto your elbows, purple flush painting your body with your legs spread wide where he was pressed against you and to top it all off your sweet puffy cunt was still dripping for him, overworked and overstimulated while drooling slick out of your used hole.
The animalistic noise that rips out of So’lek’s lips makes your own ears pin back and your cunt pulse around nothing. You feel the first shot of his cum land on your inner thighs before he reaims and purposefully shoots the rest of his fat load onto your pussy. Claiming you as his.
So’lek pants as he twists his wrist, squeezing every last drop from his cock until he’s sure he has none left to give you. He can’t bite back the smile that crosses his face seeing you covered in his seed, a smile that comes across in his voice as he admires your used pussy.
“You are mine now, Sarentu.. No one else will ever feel you like I have”
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Well, they did NOT survive their teenage codependent homoerotic friendship



I have the priviledge of being an adult and being able to look back on my teenage years happy that I made it out. It wasn't easy and I had my fair share of pretty dark experiences, so I've been thinking A LOT what would have happened to me if I had found myself in a position like Andre when I was 17. So I wrote it down - the story of Andre and Cal's relationship from (mostly) Andre's POV and the whole emotional turmoil of ending your life alongside your best friend. All with a couple of not-so-subtle personal throw-ins. It's a mess and a long one on top of that, I'm sorry ;__;
—
After years of living with all these thoughts you’re too scared to open up about, suddenly it turns out that your (only) lifelong friend is actually not that different. Not only doesn’t he flinch at your uncanny remarks; he actually thinks they’re spot-on and laughs at your jokes that would probably send you straight into detention.
So far, the more people learnt about you, the more they drifted away. Suddenly, it doesn’t happen. Quite the contrary, the messed up things seem to strengthen the bond instead. For the first time, someone welcomes you into their inner life just the way you are and doesn’t expect you to “mend your ways” before they let you in. You gradually uncover the parts of yourself you have never shown to anyone before. It feels like the weight of the world is lifted off your shoulders. Like it was destined to happen. It feels real.
It is not at all surprising that in the end, you brought out the worst in each other. After all, your final bond was built on the acceptance of the darkest parts of your personalities. You fed off each other to the point of lethal codependency. You were nothing without him and he was nothing without you.
It was insane. But you felt validated. Starving for someone who understands, you clung to each other and never let go.
So, when you’re standing in that library, guns slung over your shoulders and blood spilling beneath your feet, and that guy, who led you out of that lonely misery and gave your life a spark, tells you that you’re done - well, you’re done. You’d follow him anywhere because what other choice do you have? You killed people. You’re not getting away on your own. You’re not doing it without him. It’s either both of you or none of you. So you agree.
But deep inside, you know there’s so much left to say. The world is wide enough for the two of you, why wouldn’t you want to explore it? We had a plan, we were supposed to last. All of that is suddenly cut short. Just like the lives you’ve just taken. What an irony.
And suddenly you wish you had never left that car. Or that you had swerved it just before pulling into the parking lot. What the fuck are you doing?! That’s when it should have been said: I’m done. You’re done. We’re done.
You never figured out if it was platonic or romantic. You probably didn’t even know what platonic meant. But there was one thing you had no doubt about: that loving him was the easiest thing in the world.
… until it wasn’t.
That love tripped you up just when everything you thought you wanted was only a few inches away. Suddenly, it felt like jumping into a lake only to realize that concrete bricks have been tied to your feet.
You might have been done with the revenge, but you weren’t done loving him. In fact, you barely even started. You never even fully acknowledged it. You repressed it, scared of and confused about the intricacies of your own identity and feelings.
But what are you supposed to do about it now? Where will all that love go, if you refuse to go down together? Do you even have a choice at all? You won’t make it on your own. The only choice you have is whose hand will fire the shot that will end it all. There is no “if”.
It’s pretty safe to say that you agreeing to a double suicide is a spur-of-the-moment decision. No one would think clearly when faced with this kind of choice under such circumstances. You have just taken more than a dozen innocent lives. If they catch you, it’s game over. It’s a pathetic failure.
You were supposed to escape in a blaze of glory: a getaway car, a police chase, a rain of bullets fired towards you as you take one last look in the rearview mirror knowing you’re never gonna see this town again. You’ve turned the place that destroyed you into smoldering ruins and now you kiss it goodbye. It doesn’t get better than this.
But it’s not what happens. Suddenly, as you look around the room and glance over the dead bodies, you realize the thrill is gone. The excitement has vanished into thin air. The only thing you’re hearing are police sirens and people whimpering in pain. The reality of what you’ve done and what awaits you comes crashing down on you. It’s not glorious. It’s not rewarding. It’s bleak and hopeless. It’s a dead end.
—
Andre had to tone down Cal's carelessness during the preparations. No, we’re not gonna break into Brad’s garage and risk being spotted. No, your open mic poetry evening was not a fun idea; it was inconsiderate and dangerous. No, even if we had an M-80, we wouldn’t use it for a ceremonial explosion at my family’s vacation home where everyone could see it.
And suddenly, as they’re wandering through the school looking at the carnage they caused, the roles get reversed. It’s Cal who has to lead Andre into the grim reality.
We’re not making it out. We can still leave on our terms though. It’s your call.
The question is, did Cal really believe they didn’t stand a chance or did he use the circumstances to get what he wanted: for both of them to die?
If Andre didn’t agree, would Cal have the guts to shoot him himself? I don’t think he would. There was only one way Cal wanted it to end. I think Cal may have had some sort of feelings for Andre, but, in a fashion similar to Andre, he didn’t know exactly what these feelings were as he never got around to disentangling them. Cal was mentally ill, heavily unstable and out of touch with reality, but I think deep inside he still had the ability to feel. He could barely connect with that part of him, but it was still there. And Andre kept it alive because he did something no one else would ever do for Cal. He provided Cal with the means to die the way he wanted. A spectacular way out.
And Cal would be forever grateful for that, even if that “forever” would come to an end in just a matter of seconds. How do you even thank someone for a favor like this? Thanks for letting me die, even though you didn’t know I planned it? How do you find someone who you don’t even have to ask for it? Hey, what would you say if we killed a bunch of people to send some twisted message that only we understand and then we blew our brains out?
The thing is, none of them had to ask. The idea was already there. Maybe except for the “blowing our brains out” part. In any case, this is a one in a million chance that you find someone like this.
#this was for my own peace of mind#I really needed to organize my thoughts on this and I literally feel relieved that I've finally done this#zero day#zero day 2003#andre kriegman#cal gabriel#calvin gabriel#zero day movie
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Why Hotguy (Probably) Isn't Possessed: A DDVAU Post
.... Or at least why it would be a bit biased to say that is the case right off the bat just cause the blorbo said something you really didn't like.
(NOTE: MAJOR SPOILERS FOR DDVAU) (Also the images I've used are all from the comic, go take a look either on Tumblr or Webtoons)
Part 1: Would This Face Lie To You?
Yes. Because everyone has the capacity to lie, and Scar canonically has a silver tongue. Look at 3rd Life and try to tell me otherwise. I will laugh at you.
But the difference is framing. In 3rd Life and nearly everywhere else this silver tongue of Scar's is used, it's in a silly white lie way at best and simply to win a game at worst. Hell, even in other works I've seen it's primarily used to benefit others, not himself.
For this reason (among others that vary from person to person that I won't elaborate on here cause that's complicated), it becomes much easier to believe that Scar here isn't acting normal. He's tapping into his cunning side with much more ruthlessness than we're used to seeing from him normally, and thus we grasp for any other option. Not only that, but the Motherspore Incident gives us the perfect excuse for his behavior, especially with what is said at the end.
Was the target truly Grian, or were they trying to get at Hotguy? We won't know for sure until later, but the idea of him getting possessed is something for the copium to take advantage of, and as such it does so.
(Even for me. I have almost an entire two-monitor screenshot in which I copypasted almost every detailed Hotguy face to analyze and make a decision based on the expressions compared to the latest volume. This I will get into in the part dedicated to his expressions and why they matter for both sides of the argument.)
Either way, assuming someone who is known for using that silver tongue of his to get what he wants isn't doing that of his own free will, even if it feels unkind or out of character at first glance, isn't exactly the smartest thing.
Part 2: The "Pragmatic" Approach Is Not Kind
Aka, "local utilitarian explains the logic behind being a dick in this scenario", or "devil's advocate except the supposed devil is just a blorbo getting into real blackmail".
So, let's first consider Hotguy's primary options for how he could've taken that interrogation, and their effects. I'll list these in order of action taken against Grian for simplicity's sake:
Leave Grian alone entirely. At first, this looks like the best option. Grian needs time to heal, and Hotguy just barging on in like that is stressful at best for someone who'd just been told he got possessed and tried to kill people. But this temporary peace would come with consequences. With no one to tell the public otherwise, Grian would likely get arrested for hiding his status as a mutant from the government. So this one is simply not worth it.
Reason with Grian. This is the option most likely expected from Hotguy before the page rolled around. It gives him a chance to exercise the softer side of his silver tongue a bit more, and is a significantly less aggressive way of trying to get the information he needs to protect the public. The issue with this is that Grian is not cooperative. He does not like Hotguy very much, and definitely would give as little information as he possibly can to what is basically a cop. "Everything you say can and will be used against you," and all that jazz. He's also pretty much immune to Hotguy's charm, so being niceys won't change that. Essentially, no matter what way he goes about it he's going to have to deal in something that Grian actually cares about.
Blackmail Grian. This is the choice Hotguy made, and he didn't sugarcoat it very much either. I'm thinking the reason he did could be related to how he knew simply reasoning with Grian wouldn't work; had he really gone in with the honeyed words, Grian would've told him to cut the bullshit even sooner. This, while more visibly putting Grian in a spot of bother, isn't actually that much more dangerous for him than the other options. I've already explained why the first option actually sucks, and the second option relies on Grian trusting Hotguy (which he doesn't). It also gives Hotguy two things simultaneously: information (his priority), and keeping his friend out of jail (so long as he cooperates, which he has). The second thing may or may not be important to him, but it's still an added bonus. This is the option in which Hotguy is guaranteed to get the most information about the incident.
Turn Grian in immediately. If you hadn't realized there was a worse option than 3 then surprise! There is! This is the option that I believe would actually be out of character for Hotguy. Even if he wanted Grian imprisoned for whatever reason, his priority would still be to get information, nothing else. And there's no guarantee Grian would tell absolutely anything in custody, let alone anything about the incident. It would take potentially blackmailing him here to do it, and that feels like a step too far. Hotguy only needs information, and he knows stigma too well to truly take part in it, especially if it probably won't net him what he needs. So, not that option either.
In all, Hotguy's choice was the only one that could truly get him the yield he wanted: information on the attack in hopes he could prevent any further ones. Do I think he went too far? Yes. Absolutely. He should've stopped with his threats the moment he stopped asking actual questions about the incident. There was no reason (in my opinion) to continue with them.
But for the most part, I believe this isn't a man possessed, just a cop seeking intel. Speaking of.....
Part 3: "Duty"
Sorry guys, superheroes funded by the government are technically cops. This makes Hotguy a cop. Your blorbo is a cop.
In all seriousness, Hotguy does in fact have a job, and as such it is his duty to protect the citizens of the city from the bad and such, blah blah blah. This includes Grian, since he was possessed by the bad and not the bad itself (as such that makes him a victim).
The question, however, remains. "How best does one protect an entire city?" I've answered this already with Hotguy's highest priority in the interaction with Grian: information. To get this information while protecting the most citizens, he must threaten or harm at least one no matter what he does. Because simple threats harm the least, his answer is to threaten two for the sake of maximizing the future harm reduced.
It is, once again, a utilitarian stance on things. But if your goal isn't to be strict to the rules, that's how choices should be made: Not with biases, but with thought given to all options and all those affected.
Now, does his duty state he should be that much of an ass? No, but I already went over this. "He made the best overall choice but he should've been more considerate." It doesn't get much simpler than that.
Part 4: Expression And Tone - The Other Argument
Here we go. This is what originally inspired the making of this post, as an argument for the side that claimed Scar was possessed.
The reason behind it? I'd noticed a significant shift in Hotguy's expressions even without going through each individual page. As someone who cannot read body language for shit usually, this was a pretty significant indicator that something was wrong for me.
Upon further inspection and reflection, this isn't quite the cause for alarm I'd thought it was, but it's still one of the better arguments for Scar being possessed so I'll elaborate.
Before the Motherspore Incident, each of Hotguy's expressions that were close enough to the camera to be drawn properly showed at least one eye through his visor. There is exactly ONE exception to this in my eyes, and even that one can fit in with my claim here: Hotguy's action shot in Chapter 7.
Here, the panel is big enough that if it was any regular panel it would likely show his eyes, but the visor is too small to really draw good eyes for the panel here, not to mention it would probably take away from the composition. But that's not what's important here; that honor goes to the fact that this is the only instance of a bigger panel in which Hotguy's eyes are not shown.
.... Up until Motherspore, that is.
Here, this makes sense: The eye in the first one would get in the way of the text, and in the second one his hair is covering his visor. The third is an action shot, similar to the one in Chapter 7. These make sense.
But then... something shifts once the fight is over and Hotguy carries Grian out. Once he reaches the outside, the amount of times we see his eyes, his expression? TWO.
Both are heavily simplified, with specific intent on making his expression clear on a small panel, but in every other panel from that point on in the chapter show him with the visor covering his expression.
And that's when we get into Chapters 14 and 15. This is when the shift becomes obvious. Instead of all his expressions on large enough panels showing at least one of his eyes, instead we're given almost the exact opposite.
This is the only. I repeat. The ONLY larger panel in which both his eyes are shown (when he has the visor on) since the end of Motherspore.
It's almost the only panel in the entirety of the chapter like that, but there's a singular smaller panel here with both his eyes:
That's it. Everything else has the way his expressions interacting with his visor the exact opposite way from the entire rest of the story so far.
This is why I thought he was, in fact, possessed at first. It was such a dramatic change that, when you don't consider the other reasons why this could be the case, it feels wrong. It feels like he could be possessed.
Especially if you consider this as related to it:
It just feels, if you compile everything together and build that argument, as something that could be plausible.
Plausible, not guaranteed. But plausible nonetheless.
But what could go against this? The tone.
Because, before Motherspore, this whole thing had a much more lighthearted tone. Hotguy had a much more lighthearted tone. Then he has to handle Motherspore. Then, the public, after a fight that made him require backup (true backup, unlike what we see from Cuteguy).
He puts on a mask to the public. That's what happened at the end of Chapter 13.
And then again, when facing Grian. He cannot slip up, cannot let Grian notice who he is or even consider it. He puts on a mask to ensure he can get what he wants safely. That's why we only see his eyes open behind his visor the one time, when Grian cannot look at his face.
He's taking a page from Cuteguy's book, in a way. Not the newest trick in any book, but I figure y'all'd like the connection.
Part 5: In Conclusion
Is Scar possessed? No, probably not. There's always a chance, but it's more likely that everyone got a bit blindsided by the cutthroat way Hotguy handled interrogations.
Remember that characters can make bad or mean decisions! Even if that character is meant to be a good guy, they still can make these choices, mistake or not. Sometimes, it's the best decision they can make. And sometimes, they just went about it in a way they probably shouldn't've.
Either way Hotguy's going to pay in spades by however Cuteguy's going to handle meeting him again, probably.
Bonus: All those copypasted Hotguy faces, for your enjoyment and my going bonkers insane
(There are no notes written down here because I am bonkers on the level that my brain moves too fast to type it all down.)
(ONCE AGAIN, the images I've used are all from the comic, go take a look either on Tumblr or Webtoons)
#wildyspeaks#longpost#ddvau#ddvau hotguy#desert duo vigilante au#ddvau grian#ddvau theory#this took me 4 and a half hours to finish guys#please read it I nearly forgot my homework for this#going to pass out now methinks#nini y'all#ddvau spoilers
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Kidnap Fam vs Earendil and Elwing controversy: Regarding the twins
Maybe I’m too practical-minded, but I see a lot of people either supporting or exaggerating kidnap fam, hating it with all their being, or ignoring the whole ‘love grew between them’ to translate into ‘emotional manipulation, hatred, resentment… etc (being anti-canon)’. I’ll respect opinions, frankly, I really could care less about them, but it does get irritating when people throw canon away for the drama (I certainly get annoyed when extreme pro-kidnap fams fans make it all sunshine and rainbows as if it wasn’t a difficult time or situation).
By the way, I can and will say that the twins can feel emotions, they are allowed to do that. Resentment and love can exist at the same time (for only a period of time) but one or the other must fade in order for the other the linger. One has to be consumed in order for the other to burn.
But just a thought, Elrond and Elros could love all of their parents equally, no more, no less than the others. One became a healer and the other, a king, I think they came to understand their foster father(s) and their bio-parents’ decisions.
(Ay maybe I just suck at emotions and all this feelings stuff and have no idea what I’m tolkien about)
And I’m not trying to call out or bash anyone!
I saw (and wanted to share) the quote,
“if your anger burns the furnace in your soul your whole life, you will be forever cold in the grave.”(I’m paraphrasing, I can’t remember the exact quote)
I cannot imagine Elrond or Elros being resentful to the point were they are vicious or unforgiving, whether it was towards Elwing, Eärendil, Maglor, or Maedhros (I really don’t think he was involved too much but if you swing that way).
I don’t want Elros to be cold in his grave, and I certainly don’t want Elrond's fëa to be burning for the rest of his immortal life.
Then I also had the thought, 'if the Fëanorians had never committed the third, worst, kinslaying, then Elwing would have never flown the Silmaril to her husband and they would have never gotten the help of the Valar.'
I personally headcanon that it was Eru’s work at hand to have Maglor raise Elrond and Elros. Think about it, what if they were spoiled in an alternate universe? What if something worse had happened to the twins? What if? What if?
What if they didn't become who they were meant to be if it wasn't for who they were raised by?
By the way, I read LOTR, I know Elrond refers to Eärendil publicly as his father and he makes no mention of Maglor. I analyzed this in three ways. 1.) Elrond must keep (the memory of) Maglor closed off, locked in his heart rather than talking about him more. 2.) It would've caused drama in his realm and in the counsel. 3.) Elrond really doesn't care, his father is his father, that's it. Zip. Maglor raised him, but Maglor is gone now. In a way, Eärendil is more present than Maglor in Elrond's life by the third age. Elrond can physically see the star, but he can't see Maglor.
I see it in the third way mostly. Eärendil is Elrond father, biologically, so why would he do this "My 'real' father" BS? It just seems like a waste of time. Tolkien probably didn't want to confuse anyone since the Silmarillion couldn't be published with LOTR.
Remind me of that quote from Yondu, "He may have been your father, boy, but he wasn't your daddy." But I really didn't want to refer to that quote considering Peter and Yondu's relationship is not the best example to compare this cluster of daddy issues to. Nevertheless, there is a point to be made in that statement. There is a difference between relation in regard to Nature vs Nurture, and the effects of it.
I guess the whole point of this post is, the fandom tends to take canon lore to the extreme or over analyze things to the point where they're just projecting. Trust me, I've been there, done that. I've learned my lesson (I think) and I wanted to share what I've learned.
Also (this is purely opinion) I don’t think Maglor was manipulative about anything, in the book, he just didn’t come off that way, for as little as he appeared, he actually seemed to be pretty optimistic (*regarding Eärendil) and honest (*the debate with Maedhros). He didn’t try to excuse himself or get the twins to pity him. Maglor raising the twins was out of pity/mercy, yes, but love grew (like what Tolkien said). He probably educated them on the facts and encouraged them to form their own opinions, whether that costed him their love or not. Maglor did have the more accurate moral compass compared to his brothers (in the end of the book!- Put down your pitchforks Maedhros stans!), especially if he knew that the Silmaril was better beyond their reach than where the enemy can also reach it. It was an accurate moral compass, although not a strong one.
Argue, agree or disagree, or discuss with me! I want to hear different perspectives or opinions on this matter.
#tolkien#silmarillion#maglor#maedhros#eärendil#elwing#lotr#elrond#elros#elros tar minyatur#silmarils#silm headcanons#the silmarillion#the sons of feanor#the lord of the rings#Feanorians#I'm not afraid to confess that I over analyse either#whether it's out of spite or not is up to you#I just have many thoughts on this issue which I must get out on paper- or web in this case#Imagine a dragon storing up fire for hundreds of years and finally releasing it in a loud burp#perfect allegory#Love is endlessly abundant#anger is temporarily satisfying yet damaging#oh boy am I bold for putting this in the fandom
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Hi!! If it’s okay, can I please request an Adrian Chase x soft and innocent!fem!reader where they are coworkers at Fennel Fields, him being a busboy, and she is a waitress. The two of them have feelings for each other, Adrian just trying to get the confidence to ask her out. A group of guys come in every week are super loud, rude, and also make Y/n (who is taking their order) very uncomfortable, and when Y/n turns down their advances, they say some very mean things and make her cry. Adrian is absolutely FUMING, literally having to hold himself back from going at them right then and there, instead following her to the kitchen try to calm her down (in his own Adrian way), promising to “take care of it” . She 100% thinks he means kicking them out, but the group of men get a “visit” from Vigilante… the group “disappears” without a trace “, never to bother Y/n again.
Adrian softly kissing a very relieved Y/n when the men don’t return to the restaurant, she doesn’t know about Adrian’s Vigilante side nor does she know the fate of the group of men, but Adrian takes it as a compliment nonetheless
The Protector
Character: Adrian Chase x InnocentFem!Reader
Type: Fluff/Comfort, Angst
Length: 2.7k words
Summary: Request above!
Trope: Best friends to lovers, Co-workers to lovers
A/N: I have not done anything for Adrian in a while and I love him so much aaaaaaa! I bent the request ever so slightly. Also, let me know if I should make a part two of this but it’s Adrian’s POV 😉
"God that group is back." I hissed. "How do they always manage to get seated in my section?" Me and Adrian eyed them from the kitchen.
"I don't know but they never tip well either. I think all the tattoo ink got into their brains or something." Adrian glared at the noisy group. I smiled at his joke. He always lightened the mood and I was forever thankful for that.
"God it's twenty minutes until closing why do they always come in here late?" I grumbled folding my arms.
The group was dreadful and I have no idea how they haven't gotten in any section but mine yet. They've been showing up the past 3 weeks on Saturday nights and past close. Me and Adrian had plans ruined because of those guys. I've been working here for 1 year and a half (Adrian for longer) and I've never had a worse group of customers.
Usually, the worst is an old lady who asks for the manager when the food isn't exactly to her liking. Or a group of teenage boys who don't buy anything they just sit there and be as loud as possible.
Sometimes me and Adrian went to see movies together on Fridays or had plans with friends and I loved it. That's what made me look forward to the end of the week but with this lousy group of 40-year-old biker guys trashing the tables and leaving sometimes a zero-dollar tip was starting to have the opposite effect on me.
"You know I can take the table for you. I know they're pretty shitty guys." He looked at me and I shook my head softly. His green eyes dazzling in the heat lamps made me almost take back rejecting the offer. When he looked at me the way he did it made my heart flutter. They were so careful and easy.
"You take over my shifts all the time Adrian. The least I can do is deal with one unpleasant table. I can do it." I looked back at him with determination. Besides he was only a busboy, not a waiter though I'm sure he could do the job just fine.
It was true though. Every time I was sick he took over no questions asked. Sometimes he even encouraged me to call out sick when all I had was a cough. He was my best friend after all but he always went above and beyond with the way he treated me.
Sure my other co-workers were nice like Taylor treated me nicely but never as nice as Adrian. From the get-go, he was kind to me always guiding me to where things were or making small talk with me to help get me though my shifts. He was never afraid to give me a hand in anything I needed.
He looked very unsure of my decision but he didn't protest as I left to deal with said table. Though I could still feel his eyes glued to my back. I pushed open the door and
I strode over there with a sudden burst of confidence. I could do it. Then when It's all over me and Adrian can go back to his apartment and watch movies all night like usual.
As soon as I reached the table that confidence slowly started to melt away.
They were a group of 5, all big-looking, and they were like I said a biker gang. Sometimes I hate my job.
"Hello I'm Y/n I'll be your server today can I get you any drinks to start with?" My hands trembled as they gripped the sides of my apron. Whistles filled the air as the men's eyes wandered across my body. Some even leaned over to get better looks at me.
"Looking good honey!" I laughed nervously trying to be as polite as I could to them.
I felt so incredibly uncomfortable. I felt my cheeks getting hot. I was even embarrassed to be close to them. I cleared my throat trying to get them to reply to the simple task at hand.
"Waters for all of us." What I was sure the group leader spoke out. "Please, baby." He added. His group let out an array of deep chuckles. I felt sweat start to appear on my skin. I smiled and walked off in the back. As soon as my backs were to them my smile vanished off my face.
Oh god, it's barely been 5 minutes with them and I already want to leave. Once I got back there Adrian was still standing in the same spot looking at me with a pleading look.
"Don't look at me with those eyes." Those pleading begging green eyes.
"You can still take my offer you know." He pressed his lips together. "Because you look like you need that help. It's not like a bad look or anything but you look kind of helpless. In a good way." Adrian rambled. I've known him for so long I could decipher any message he gave me.
"It's fine I can handle it," I said firmly. I wasn't going to let them get the better of me. Just seeing and having Adrian here made it better.
He was a complete nerd and I loved having someone like that. I loved hearing him talk about DND and all of his hobbies. Then I got to start doing it out of work too.
We even set up a DND campaign at one point. It was a little confusing at first but playing with him made me understand. The memories of us together made me way more relaxed.
I poured those glasses of water and put them all onto a tray and held it with one hand. I pushed the door open almost spilling them in the process and walked back to the table.
"There she is!" One of them shouted. I placed all of the glasses on the table without a word trying to keep my cool.
I watched some make extremely disgusting gestures. Just 20 more minutes and you can go home. Just 20 more long excruciating minutes.
"She's a beauty isn't she fellas?" The main one asked. I swallowed thickly not excited for their replies. I did not have the energy for this today.
"Oh definitely would talk her home. You single honey?" One of them eyed me.
"Uhm yes, I am I'm just not looking for anything like that right now." I lied trying to get him to understand the message.
"Nah she's lying they're always in the market." My feet wouldn't move. I felt scared. Uncomfortable. Where's Adrian? I shouldn't have taken this table. "Come give me a chance honey!" He begged. Can't this guy take a hint?
"No, thank you I'm sorry." I tried to stay as polite as possible. "What would you guys like to-" I was instantly cut off.
"It's not like her makeup hides much." They laughed. I felt ashamed to be here.
"And she could smile more. Where's our cute smile sweetie?" I couldn't smile to save my life. I would not give them what they wanted. My lips trembled.
"Nah her smile would be ugly too we can't ask for something she doesn't have." The table erupted in laughter.
"Look at her she's a doll. She could get any guy she wanted."
“Maybe she’s a slut. No wonder she's not in the market she just sleeps around!” Barked another.
I looked up to see Adrian cleaning some dishes from a couple tables in front of them.
He was looking at me because he had clearly heard that nasty remark. His eyebrows were furrowed and he looked red with anger. He was seething and I could see his hand gripping the rag he was holding tightly.
Then the dam in my eyes broke. Tears started to brim my eyes and I stormed back into the kitchen quickly. As I left I heard them start to laugh louder. I shoved open the outside door and sat on the picnic bench we had out there.
I leaned my head in my hands and let the tears spill over my cheeks. I couldn't think about anything other than their words and how humiliated I felt. I felt like screaming at them but I just couldn't. That wasn't how I was.
Who did they think they were? Coming into our restaurant and treating me like shit for what reason? Do they have nothing better to do with their life?
I heard the door swing open and I tried to cover up my sniffling but it was no use. It slammed shut and I heard quick footsteps trot over to the bench. I already knew it was Adrian so I let him sit next to me. As soon as he put his arm around me it all came rushing back out.
"Hey hey, I'm right here." He whispered softly, I wrapped my arms around his back and in that moment he was all that mattered. I just wanted to have Adrian by my side. He awkwardly patted my back.
"Thank you." I wiped my cheeks which now had mascara smeared down them. "I'm a mess," I complained to him. He didn't say anything he just kept holding me. I knew he could struggle with comforting and with words in general sometimes. "You don't have to stay here you know. I'm already in trouble for abandoning my table i don't need you getting into it too." I frowned.
"Oh no, I'm staying." I snuggled myself into his side. "They don't deserve you. They're dicks who don't know how to treat women and that feels like a crime. They had no right to insult you like that." I nodded trying to listen to his words but I still felt shitty. "And that's like so not cool." He said and finally, a small smile spread across my face. He let out a built-up sigh of relief that I was starting to feel a bit better.
"I know. It still hurts though."
"No matter what those guys say they're so wrong." I looked up at him and he was already glancing at me. "You look so beautiful without makeup. I'm not saying you look bad with makeup on I mean like the complete opposite." I started to grin at his ranting.
"Thank you A. It means a lot." He enjoyed the small nickname. He continued to rub small circles into my back relaxing me.
"But those guys will never bother you again." He said still heated by the situation. "I'll make sure of it and because I really like you okay?" He confessed. "And seeing you hurt like that hurt me." he stared at the ground.
The confession threw me off. I always stressed about him liking me but hearing those words fall from his lips felt bewitching. I pulled away from him and looked at him eye to eye.
"Oh fuck I mean!" His cheeks grew pink. "Like I like having you as a friend not like in like I've been crushing on you since I've laid eyes on you and have been dreaming about you or anything because that would be like..." I leaned closer to him and brushed my thumb against his cheek. His face was warm and soft beneath my hand. "crazy." He whispered finishing his sentence.
"Don't lie to me right now Chase." I frowned. He sighed as he realized he'd been caught.
"Okay yeah, maybe I really like you." His eyes never once left me. "And maybe I have been dreaming about you since I first saw you."
"You better not be joking with me right now. Or I will continue to cry ."
"Okay um do not cry again please I already handled the first time poorly. But I am certainly not kidding." I moved my hand from his cheek to his hand which was much larger than mine.
"You better not be because I like you too." He blinked a few times trying to determine if I was the one joking around this time. He moved a stray piece of hair out of my face and tucked it neatly behind my ear. His eyes flickered down towards my lips and back up to my eyes. Was he really about to kiss me right now?
He swiftly closed the gap between us and captured my lips in a phenomenal kiss. Maybe he wasn't all nerdy after all because damn he knew how to kiss. Sure I have barely kissed anyone my whole life but he made it feel so right. He slowly pulled back to look at my face.
"Was that okay? If it wasn't I can totally like stop. I don't mind at all." I squeezed his hand and hugged him.
"It was perfect. Thank you." For having such a shitty night he made me realize the better. Like how the stars seemed to shine just a bit brighter than before and the moon was glowing just a little more than it just had. All because of Adrian
"How about I go deal with them and I also go grab our stuff since it's about time we clock out we have a fun relaxing night tonight?" He proposed.
"I would love nothing more."
"Good. Now you wait here!"
-
Once I got inside his apartment I immediately collapsed and melted into his couch with a loud dramatic sigh. He had probably the most comfortable apartment imaginable.
"Oh shit." I heard him hiss.
"What's wrong?"
"I was supposed to drop by the store after our shift to grab some things from the store..." He trailed off looking sheepish.
"Go ahead, Adrian. I know it will be all you talk about if you don't." He nodded before muttering a quick 'thank you' and leaving.
I had a really long day in general so as much as I wanted to I did not feel like waiting up for him. I left my work bag on the couch and wandered to his room.
His bookshelf overflowed with books and tabletop games, His bed was slightly messy from the morning, and it felt like him. I dug through his dresser to find this shirt that had a cool-looking dragon and a D20 on it. I took off my apron and work shirt and threw it on. I really hope he doesn't mind.
I threw my shoes somewhere on his floor and crumbled onto his bed. God his blankets were so soft.
-
It had been an hour before Adrian finally made his way home. He took off his mask and suit and tucked it away in the hall closet once he got home. He'd deal with all the blood later.
He walked through the hall and pushed open the door to see his best friend asleep on his bed in his shirt. He couldn't be happier to come home to this. She finally looked at ease snuggled beneath his covers.
Adrian scooted himself into his bed and joined her. He placed a small gentle kiss on her forehead and spooned her.
"They won't hurt you again." He whispered before allowing himself to drift off to sleep with her in his arms.
-
I waited afraid week after week to see that group come back but they never did. Nor the week after that or the next. I soon started to get curious about what Adrian meant when he said he'd "deal with them." Did he get the manager involved? Did he really have that strong effect on them? Maybe he even beat them up. He's too soft for that right?
Anyway, I was just happy to be with the one I've crushed on for so long. It felt good. Better than anything has ever been.
Tonight we were staying in on the couch while we waited for the popcorn to finish in the microwave of his apartment. The smell drifted through the room making me even more hungry than I was before.
"I'm glad they're gone." I looked up at him. His glasses glowed from the light of his phone.
"Me too. I hate seeing you upset." I leaned on his shoulder and my eyes wandered quickly over to his phone. Just a quick peek it wouldn't mean anything. He was texting Chris who according to him was his guy best friend. I had met him a few times for drinks after work and he was a pretty alright guy. I scanned the words and...
I finally got to use the chainsaw on those guys :)
What does that mean?
#adrian chase#adrian chase x reader#peacemaker#adrian chase fanfiction#freddie stroma x reader#freddie stroma#vigilante fanfiction#x reader#comfort from vigilante#babygirl fr
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part two on the angst spencer reid (happy ending if u want) 🤞🤞
How You Get The Girl
*Part two to The moment I knew
Summary: After four days of no calls, Spencer tries his hardest to fix things with you
Word count: 1.14k
Warnings: angst, fluff, lead by pure vibes idk
Note: idk whats with me and writing at ungodly hours of the night but this one was written mostly at like 1am so any errors are due to sheer sleep deprivation! also thank you so much to anon who submitted this it was really nice to give this little story a happy ending :) also first anon ask super cool on enough of this now.
It had been 3 days 2 hours and 43 minutes since you had last spoken to Spencer. He knew because he couldn’t stop thinking about that short exchange, how you were so upset you didn’t even let him explain.
Spencer couldn’t stop staring at his phone, picking it up every few minutes, maybe I missed the notifications he told himself.
The truth was, he knew he fucked up and he knew he hurt you and missing that party was the worst decision he had made in a long time.
Thinking about you had consumed him so much that he found it hard to complete his work. He never used his phone at work, unless he needed to call someone for something work-related.
Of course, working with a group of profilers, people began to pick up this odd behaviour. The first to notice was his best friend JJ.
She immediately recognized his anxious demeanour, but she just didn’t know why. After a while, she ruled out problems with his mother, and that didn’t really leave many options.
Spencer didn’t have many friends - at least that they knew of- and most likely didn’t have a girlfriend either, so what was it?
JJ approached him after their round table meeting on a case just a few miles west of Quantico.
“Hey, Spence,” she sighed settling her hands on her hips.
“What’s up JJ?” He replied, obviously trying to act as normal and natural as possible, but it wasn’t really working.
“Nothing, I was just wondering how you’re doing,” Immediately Spencer blushed, obviously embarrassed that his co-workers were noticing his new habits “You just seem… off. Worried. Is everything alright?”
Spencer had tried to hide his shame but clearly, it wasn’t working and he just couldn’t keep it all contained anymore.
“No, I-“ he sighed and looked down at his feet, trying to decide what to say next. Jennifer didn’t even know about his girlfriend, how would she react knowing he hid that from her all this time and also did such a heartbreaking thing to an innocent girl.
He faked a laugh and a dull smile, “No, JJ everything’s fine! I've just been a little anxious because,” he swallowed and tried to come up with a lie as realistic and believable as possible, “I’ve just been awaiting an interview for this teaching job at Virginia Tech, and uh, they haven’t told me the date yet.” He said in a nonchalant tone, praying that JJ wouldn’t push harder.
She obviously knew he was lying, the guy was a genius but he wasn’t a very good liar. Even though she knew there was something deeper, she thought if he wanted her help, he would be honest.
“Oh, cool! I’m sure you’ll get that response soon.” She said cheerfully before walking away and clearing the conversation out of her brain.
After the fourth day had passed Spencer knew he had to do something to make this right, the regret had nearly swallowed him whole.
When he got off work, he drove over to the closet flower shop and purchased a rather large bouquet of your favourite flowers. He remembered when you told him that a bouquet of flowers was always the best apology.
To go along with your flowers, he purchased you a birthday card, to make up for missing the party. It was a rather cute thing, with a pop-up kitten inside, he knew you would love it even if you didn’t say it.
He scrawled a short birthday wish into the card before starting up his car and heading in the direction of your home.
As he drove towards your house in the darkness and rain he couldn’t help but worry about what would happen when he arrived. Would you be so angry you would throw it all in a puddle? Or would you welcome and forgive him and this would all be over. Of course, he hoped for the latter, but he would understand if you were upset by seeing his face again.
Once he had arrived, his heart raced as he stepped out of the car and headed towards the front door. When he walked up the stairs, already wet from the rain, he thought of the first time he ever strolled up those short steps and your first kiss standing right there in front of your front door.
He rapped on the door two times fast and two times slow, just like he always did. He could feel himself nearly shivering as his hands just about vibrated while he waited in that infinitely long moment for you to open the door.
He heard the chain on your door unlock and as the door swung open, he saw your face. Your tear-stained, puffy, red face. Seeing you like this almost brought tears to his own eyes.
The way you looked at him ate at him from the inside.
You sighed and looked him up and down, inspecting the flowers he was holding.
“Oh my god, Spencer. Are you insane?” You practically shrieked when you realized he was standing outside your door at 9 PM in the pouring rain.
“I know, I’m sorry. I should have called first before I just showed up, but I nearly lost my mind missing you.” He said truthfully. “I was just too afraid to see you and tell you that what I did was so fucking stupid and I just really h-“
Just like you had on the phone those few days ago, you cut him off, but instead of with a snarky remark, with a hug. You nearly jumped into his arms. You didn’t care if you got wet or if the flowers got ruined, you just wanted to feel him.
After the lengthy embrace, you let your boyfriend in. He gave you your flowers and your, now wet, card and made you both tea while you placed them in a large glass vase.
The two of you sat down on the couch and you let him explain this time, fully explain. You could feel his remorseful aura, and even though what he did sucked, you didn't care anymore, you were just so happy to have him with you.
After your long discussion, you ate leftover cake, then celebrated your birthday by binging your favourite tv shows and remembering old memories.
The following morning, Reid decided to move in with you, telling you he never wanted to be away from you at a time like that again. He hung up framed photos of you all over the house of kisses on cheeks and happy memories. He would remind you nearly every morning how much he loves what you have and wants you no matter what, for worse or for better, nearly like wedding vows.
And you can say proudly he never missed another birthday.
#spencer reid#criminal minds#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid angst#angst#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid blurb#spencer reid drabble#spencer reid self insert#criminal minds fandom#criminal minds fanfiction#mgg#mgg x y/n#mgg x reader#mgg imagine#dr spencer reid#matthew gray gubler#ssa spencer reid#spencer reid fluff#fluff#fluff and angst#on thats enough#fanfic#Reidspharbangst#Reidspharbfluff
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American pie [2/2]
Category : Caitlin C × !momreader
Summary : You and Caitlin have known each other since childhood, you love each other more than friends but the situation pushes you to live in hiding. While Caitlin suffers from this situation and lets you know it, an event changes everything.
⚠️go to the masterlist if you haven't read the first part

Today
It's been exactly 4 months.
4 months since Caitlin told you how she felt about the situation.
4 months since you last talked to her.
And yet, the very next day, she sent you a message in the evening, asking you if you were upset and if that was why you hadn't gone to see her play.
It was her last day at the tournament, and she'd missed her girl's reassuring look in the stands.
She'd started to blame herself, not for saying what she felt, but for waiting. Because in the end, she'd expressed herself to you with a lot of anger and a lot of blame. Yet she knew that you were doing your best and that you loved her more than anyone else on earth.
But you didn't answer her messages that night or the next few days.
She tried to call you several times, came in the evening after your classes, but never found you there.
When she came to your house, it was your father, whom she had known as long as you, who asked her to leave, insisting that you didn't want to see her and that she had no business being here.
Despite her willingness to make excuses for you, Caitlin suddenly felt rejected. You couldn't ignore her just because she had decided to show you the negative side of your relationship. So she stopped sending you messages and stopped coming to see you.
The following months were the worst of her life. For the first time in sixteen years, you didn't share her daily life. No evenings just the two of you, no post-game massages, no movies that Caitlin always fell asleep to, no impromptu cooking sessions. Her bed seemed way too big and her apartment way too empty.
Yet you're everywhere: in picture frames, in subway tickets reminding her of your disastrous dates, in your glowing toothbrush on the edge of the sink (Caitlin always made fun of your toothbrush, but you like useless things like that), in her Spotify playlist, and even in her clothes.
She started to get really depressed, not knowing how to deal with the flood of emotions that suddenly washed over her. Some days she was hungry and ate a lot, as if to suppress her feelings, and other days she didn't even have the strength to get out of bed.
It was palpable on the court, and despite a few attempts at communication from her coach and teammates, Caitlin never wanted to talk about it, staying closed in her corners and easily accepting the decision to play her less.
Nothing mattered if you weren't there to see her do it and cheer her on.
And if it wasn't easy for her, it wasn't easy for you either.
You didn't ignore Caitlin all this time out of the goodness of your heart, but out of necessity.
After what happened, you needed to be alone, to collect yourself, to calm down. You needed time to accept and adjust to your new life.
Still, you miss your girlfriend (well, if she's still your girlfriend?). She's the pillar of your life, the one who listens to you, comforts you, finds solutions for everything, and gives you a smile.
But you know you've made a mistake this time. You've hurt her and you feel terrible. You know you're unforgivable, and anyway, you can't think of a good way to explain what's happening to you.
- You've found more than love in Caitlin, you've found a best friend. I've been there for you, but now you need her.
Your mother told you this during one of your many crying sessions.
Of course, in the light of events, your "boyfriend" had finally confessed the deception to your parents.
They both remained silent on the subject, then your father became very angry when Caitlin tried to come and see you.
Finally, your mother spoke. She explained that she didn't understand how two women could be attracted to each other, but that the idea of you being unhappy with a man just to please him broke her heart, and that in the end Caitlin was a nice girl and what happened between you was none of her business.
So it was she who encouraged you to get back in touch with her, sensing that even though she was your mother, she didn't always have the right words to help you.

Your message was "viewed" for two hours before you received a reply.

You knew you deserved her coldness, but you couldn't help but feel bad and hopeless.

If she were in front of you, you would probably be on your knees begging her to please listen to you. You can't lose her, not now, but you don't know what to say anymore and the words come on their own, in the hope that they will convince her.

Her answer was not what you expected, but deep down you knew you deserved no better.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You thanked your mom for helping you get organized so you'd be free at 5.
You dressed quickly, trying to make an effort, but not wanting to give the impression that you were taking this appointment for granted. You were afraid that Caitlin would think you weren't taking things seriously if you ever got too confident.
So you waited for long minutes, sitting at the table closest to the entrance, staring at the front door, which only made your heart beat faster in your chest.
You and Caitlin are in your favorite place where you spent your childhood and teenage years. You call it "The Cowboy" because of the decor and the giant Lucky Luke statue in the entrance. The Cowboy is a sort of bar and restaurant with a children's play area and a vintage jukebox that plays only one song on a loop: Don McLean's "American Pie," your favorite with Caitlin.
Finally, the tall brunette walked through the door. Her gym bag at arm's length and her towel around her neck. She looked for you as if suddenly lost, then made her way to your table.
She looked at you coldly, then sat down.
You just noticed the gaze of two young girls to your right, who weren't shy about devouring Caitlin's torso with their eyes, clad only in a sports bra.
And just as you were about to ignore this, judging that you were in no position to show your jealousy, Caitlin slipped on a sweater, knowing full well how you felt about the situation. And seeing that she wasn't lacking for a little attention on your behalf calmed you down a bit.
- Hi.
- Hi, do you want something? You suggest.
- That you tell me what you want to tell me she said curtly.
You were trying to lighten the mood, to reassure yourself about your relationship with Caitlin, but mostly to put off the moment when you were supposed to tell her. Because the truth was, you didn't know how to break this kind of news to her, since you had trouble understanding and accepting it yourself.
- Are you going to marry him? Are you going to move to the Maldives?
- What are you talking about? What are you saying, Caitlin?
- What am I saying? I should be asking you this question. You've got me running around in circles. Do you know how worried I've been? I've been imagining the worst scenarios! That you were seriously ill, dead...then I had to realize that it was something else, so I started imagining that you were going off with him, that it was over, I dreamt of you making love. I threw up Y/N. But I can't get over it, you never leave my thoughts, even on the field. So now, despite all the anger I feel for you, I want you to tell me what's going on!
- I'm sorry, Caity.
You apologize, looking up at her with tears in your eyes. You blame yourself tremendously, knowing that she's suffering so much is unbearable for you.
- But sorry for what the hell?
She stands and stares into your eyes. She burns with rage and takes it upon herself not to let her words overtake her thoughts.
- He's three months...
you said, lowering your eyes and letting yourself burst into tears.
She fell back in her chair and stared at you with her eyes wide open. Her heart racing, she refused to understand.
- What? Who?
- When Edward realized that we were more than just friends, he told me that if we had sex once in a while, he wouldn't tell my parents. This went on for a few months and stopped when he met a girl. At that point, I had to promise not to talk about his relationship with this girl and to continue to show my face in public with him if I didn't want him to say anything.
- But... no, no, no, you're talking nonsense! I would have seen if you were pregnant!
- I was in denial, Caitlin, the night of our fight, what I thought were stomach pains were actually contractions. I thought I was going to die. The night you left, I gave birth on the carpet in my room.
- It was our dream," she said weakly, completely shaken by the news.
- I was afraid of losing you, I thought I was doing the right thing. I went too far, I know. I was terrified, unable to touch the baby, then when they put him in my arms... I don't know, I wanted to try, I felt capable.
- No, no, it's not possible...she whispers.
- I'm sorry, Caity, I'm so sorry.
- And him? What did he say?
- His parents wanted the baby back, I refused, we haven't heard from him since...
- I don't know what to say...I'm so hurt...so confused....I feel sorry for you, but I'm so angry that you left me out, I could have protected you....
- I don't want to lose you, Caitlin.
- I need some air, let me go, let me think...
She hurried out of the restaurant, looking completely disturbed.
You watched her outside the transparent storefront as she cradled her head in her hands, paced back and forth, and finally walked to her car.
You didn't hear from her that day, despite the message you sent, and you haven't heard from her in the days since.
This hurts you tremendously; you feel responsible and monstrous. Seeing her like that literally tore your heart out. But the truth is, you didn't really have time to think about it. Your days were now filled with cries, bottles, naps, diapers... not to mention appointments with the pediatrician or the nurse who came to give you advice.
Despite all the sadness and guilt, you had to keep a straight face for him. For this baby who didn't ask for anything. You ruined everything with the love of your life, so you couldn't afford to ruin everything with him.
And yet, just as hope was fading, you received a message:

This unexpected news had just given you hope that all was not lost. A little salve to the heart did you good, and you even noticed that feeling a little better and believing again seemed to have an effect on your baby, as his crying spells diminished inexorably.
The next day, you went to the local Merch store to buy a baby-sized supporter's jersey and a pair of earplugs to protect his ears from the noise.
That evening, snuggled up to you in the baby carrier, he attended his first basketball game. While you and Caitlin rediscovered your chemistry. That night, as she sought your gaze for the first time in a long time, she found it and felt that wave of comfort and courage again. A sense of absolute invincibility.
That night, Caitlin and her team won the game hands down, and as the girls celebrated their victory in the middle of the court and the opponents began to leave the room, Caitlin approached you:
- Hello, little boy.
She hugs him, trembling. The two of them look at each other with stars in their eyes, as if surprised by each other's presence.
- His name is Donald, like our favorite music...
Donald awkwardly touches Caitlin's face with his chubby hands as she starts humming softly, tears rolling down her cheeks...
- Looks like I'm going to get a new jersey to sign...
Bye, bye Miss American Pie....🎶
---------------------------------------
sorry for the wait, I'm taking important exams at the moment!
So...did you like it? I'm seriously thinking about writing "extras" to this fiction, like little cute moments of life for Caitlin and you after these events, what do you think?
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Unpopular opinion
But I really think that if Logan had been able to go through F2 fully and develop like everyone else (except max) did, and was put on a ran that wasn’t Williams, he’d be a much better driver. I can tell he’s improving currently, but he’d be so much better if he was allowed to grow and thrive and then put into F1, but he was taken out of F2 early, dumped into F1, and expected to perform amazingly.
Not every driver can skip F2 or be taken out early and perform great. I think the old team principal set him up for failure but not sporting him to continue his endeavors on F2. He was doing well so the team principal wanted to get to him before any other team could and that ultimately led to Logan’s horrible first season.
And I also think he was done wrong by Williams this season too. I understand that he’s by no means the best driver on the grid, but he isn’t the worst either.
A lot of people don’t want to acknowledge the growth he has made since last year. His year was ruined before it could truly began. With what happened in Australia, the team took his confidence away, and things went down from there. He was so ready and extremely confident, but his car was taken as punishment for something that his teammate did to his own car.
I get that it was a decision based on who could get points, but what really did it was the fact that Alex didn’t get any points and then Logan got his busted up chassis
And even recently, Logan barely got upgrades. He was given stuff from last year. I think he would do so much better on a different team because Williams obviously do not care for him the way they care for Alex. I get that he hasn’t really been driving the way they want him, but to be honest, neither has Alex.
I don’t know, man, this is just my opinion, but I feel like if he was allowed to finish his formula 2 season and then put into formula 1 things would be better for him. And if he weren’t in Williams, then that would be even better. They are known as the worst team on the grid to put a rookie in.
Another unpopular opinion, but I genuinely think he deserves another chance in a team like haas. I know you’re probably going to disagree with me, but haas has a better car than Williams and they would treat him fairly. He would also bring the team many sponsors as the only American, so it would be a win-win.
We don’t know how he would perform in a different team with a better car, so I’m just saying I would like to see what would happen
Honestly I agree with everything uve said here anon, like wholeheartedly.
I'm just gonna add a few more things, but overall, we both have the exact same opinions.
I feel like ppl forget that williams is literally an OVERWEIGHT car, like u literally can't expect amazing results from them, and I know some of you are gonna talk abt how alex seems to be doing rlly well, but alex has been here since 2019. Not to forget that he was part of that redbull shitshow, like this man is fully trained in the art of surviving under stressful situations, and he's also an experienced driver.
I feel like there's more hate on logan bc ppl keep seeing how well Oscar's doing, and those 2 came into F1 at the same time. But you literally can't compare them. You can't. Oscar's one of the VERY few rookies who managed to adjust to f1 that quick, and logan literally just needs TIME like all the other drivers got when they first joined too. Not to mention how SUPPORTING mclaren is of oscar, while james vowels is out there already talking abt different driver options and williams is so blatantly unmotivating of logan. God, ofc it's just gonna affect his performance even more bc this is the ONLY team hes been with, and it's his SECOND year, he needs affirmations and support.
Oscar is also in an AMAZING car, and as I've said bfr, logan is NOT. Ppl rlly need to stop comparing them.
All in all, his situation makes me so sad.
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I feel there's just so much wrong with the entire imprinting concept in the Twilight books.
The concept of never being able to say no or essentially make your own decisions because of the girl/whoever you imprinted almost sounds like a romanticized version of domestic abuse. Google describes it as "pattern incidents of controlling, coercive, degrading and violent behavior, etc". Now the threatening wouldn't be necessary because they literally don't have any choice or say in the matter. The entire idea of obsession and doing whatever pleases the person I've imprinted on sounds degrading, that you're now longer you're own person capable of making you're own choices. I find this ironic because SM literally tells us the underlying theme of these books is about choice. None of the wolves have a choice. They didn't choose to be wolves (shape shifters), they don't choose who they imprint on and they definitely don't choose what they get to do after imprinting. Did SM find it all romantic? Because everytime it's mentioned it just gives me the ick. The wolves are my favorite characters in the books and seeing them being forced into all this is so annoyinggg! They deserved SO much better.
Also, it shocks me that after all the success SM gained from tts that she didn't donate a penny to the Quileute tribe. It's super disappointing.
Oh, yeah, with you 100% on imprinting. I've never found it romantic. It reads as straight-up horror to me. Who even ARE you if you don't have free will? If you have to be whatever someone else needs? And beyond that it just feels fake and empty to me. Sam loved Leah. When he had a choice, he chose Leah. Magic overruled him and picked Emily instead. Why am I supposed to think his love for Emily is the 'real' love?
I get that the fantasy is supposed to be from the imprintee's POV, the fantasy of having this guy who is 100000% devoted to you, will never leave you, you never have to worry about cheating, he is there for you and will do whatever you want or need him to do. But that's not . . . that's not like a person who loves you, that's like a robot programmed to fulfill your wishes. For me, there's no real love without choice. This dude isn't choosing to show up for you every day if he has no other choice. It feels fake and arbitrary. Like a love potion, like Cupid's arrow.
And hell yes, the lack of choice with the wolves is a pattern and a really unsettling one given that she chose to make these characters Indigenous and tie their wolf-ness to that identity. They don't get to choose to be wolves, they don't get to choose who they love, within those relationships they have no agency and have to be/do whatever their partner wants, and then there's also the Alpha Order! They can literally be forced to obey, no choice there either. Again, this is straight up horror stuff. Loss of free will, loss of identity. That whole passage when Jacob imprints on Nessie is the stuff of nightmares to me. Everything that Jacob cared about, everything that made him who he was, is cut away and he is bound to a half-vampire baby instead. And now he has to keep phasing forever to stay immortal with her. To paraphrase Rosalie: this isn't the life he would have chosen for himself.
There are ways in which Twilight vampires get a raw deal too (when I'm sick and have a sore throat it's like, the Worst, so dealing with that forever and on a supernatural scale sounds horrific) but they still have CHOICES. Carlisle had the free will and agency to run to the forest and starve himself as a newborn. Rosalie had the will to kill her attackers without drinking their blood. Edward chose to leave Bella for a time when we're told Jacob spending any real time away from Nessie would be impossible because of the imprint. The vampires may have to FIGHT their nature sometimes, but SM lets them win more often than not. Carlisle can be a doctor; the Denali sisters can sleep with humans; Edward can resist Bella's blood; Bella can be the best newborn ever and not kill her dad. But the only time a shifter character is allowed to fight his nature is when Jacob defies Sam to break off and form his own pack, and that's only because of the loophole that Jacob was himself the rightful alpha. No one else has that option. Leah has to choose between allowing Sam or Jake to have alpha power over her.
Which is all why I thought Jacob's whole thing would be fighting an imprint. It would be so in character for him and such a good parallel to the vegetarian vampires fighting their thirst. I wanted to see Jacob say 'no, I don't care what destiny says, I will make my own path.' And you know if SM had had him imprint on literally anyone BUT Nessie or Bella she would have written about him fighting it! It would have been so cool! But no, because ultimately this is Bella's fantasy life, and part of her happily ever after is keeping Jacob around literally forever even though HE wouldn't have chosen an immortal life with the Cullens like Bella did.
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for the recent ask game, i’m really curious about your take on 7 + 8 :P
for the choose violence ask game!
7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how the fandom acts about them?
i'll be so honest: Jason Todd. i know there's a lot of argument of "who has the worst fans" and i think that question is flawed and impossible to answer, but i will say Jason fans irked me so deeply. because i read mostly 90s era Batfam, i admittedly didn't have a lot of exposure to Jason for a while, expect for his New-52 runs i'd read years ago. and since i never liked him based on those runs, i could not understand *what* his fans liked about him, or where they got some of their headcanons/ideas from. i've never been more baffled. it ranges from "oh i don't agree but you do you, i guess?" to "what character are you talking about i am BAFFLED". and it soured me on Jason for so long that i actually hate read *most* of his pre-Flashpoint appearances just to understand what on earth people liked about him. and now i can say, i love him dearly, but i can also say, i still don't know what character his fans are talking about sometimes. and i hate the fanon version of Jason who feels almost, Deadpool-ified? with this self-aware slapstick humor but a sad soft interior but also sassy and will kill a man it's just. it feels very hollow to me and it has made me almost tempted to block his character tag more than once over the years bc sometimes certain takes make it difficult to even like him. i just have to tune it out or yell about it for hours.
8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about
i'm going to get particularly saucy with this one: that Dick Grayson has Eldest Daughter Syndrome. or more generally, that he was parentified. not a single ounce of Dick's backstory indicates him as being parentified. to be parentified you have to be a child taking care of other children either emotionally or physically because your parents are not fulfilling that role. and Dick was *never* a child at the time that another child was under Bruce's care. he has been an adult for the entirety he has known every other Batkid. and even then, the *only* one he was something you could akin to being a parent figure to was Damian, and Dick *chose* that. Dick was a grown-ass man in his late 20s who had the facilities and capacity to make the decision to be Damian's primary caretaker. he's never been parental toward any of the other Batkids, nor has Bruce ever forced upon him the role of having to raise them. did Bruce do a sort of questionable job with Dick? yeah. but i would argue Bruce did the best job with Dick of all the Batkids, and even if he was shitty with Dick, he couldn't parentify Dick bc there was no one for Dick to be parenting. and Dick wasn't parenting Bruce either. they just had a normal relationship of loving and caring for each other.
as for Eldest Daughter Syndrome i just.. i Do Not Like calling any male character "female coded" or "female rage coded" or "eldest daughter coded" because they're *not*. especially not in *this* medium. these are male characters, created by men, written by men 90% of the time, and written to be *male power fantasies*. nothing about Dick or Jason or any Batboy is female-coded bc they exist to be badass men. just because they show emotion and have complex relationships with Bruce doesn't make them suddenly women. Dick shows his anger in a very destructive, stereotypically "masculine" way. even if we strip it of gender, Dick doesn't exhibit most traits of Eldest Daughter Syndrome. he easily makes relationships with people his age, he has no issues telling Bruce no, he did not have caretaking responsibilities forced onto him by Bruce, he's not even really hyperindependent. Dick has a support system outside of the Bats, the fandom just ignores it. does Dick force caretaking responsibilities onto himself sometimes? can he be an overachiever? absolutely. but these are internal complexes that just come with making a character a superhero, it's a complex they all have. if i have to hear one more fan call him Eldest Daughter Syndrome-core or say he's a victim of parentification, i think I'll explode a little bit.
#necrotic answerings#ask game#this is regarding canon specifically#if you write fanfic where the batkids are taken in younger#and thus dick is parentified that's valid to explore#but that doesn't make it canon#also here's a take i'll hide in the tags:#if someone has a pfp of wfa jason i. tend not to trust their opinion on jason todd.#i'm so sorry i just can't do it.#you can like wfa and enjoy it for what it is do not get me wrong#but using it as your basis for jason is going to make you wildly off the mark#of everyone i think wfa butchers jason the most#who is that man.#why is he there.#metas about jason from wfa perspectives are always missing the mark for me.#that's just my opnion so no one take it *too* seriously but like#man. i've got feelings#also i'm super passionate about the “female coded” thing#like there are women in comics. yk you can read about them. right-#still never getting over the post where someone was like “who do you think is more female rage coded jason or dick i can't decide omg”#and the notes were just people recommending comics with women in them. bout peed myself laughing.#i do think jason is interesting to view through a female lense and same with dick#but you have to understand that will always be fanon. not canon.
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