#this does include groups you are a part of. i'm telling you right now you're not getting it

[indi-glo-archive]

ppl who only conditionally care about child abuse based on whether the victim makes them uncomfy while they're being abused contribute to a real life child's abuse by sending hate asks regularly, attempting to gaslight them, calling them terrible names, accusing them of terrible things, telling them directly how much they hate the characters the child relates to and enjoys talking about, and being generally racist and ableist in a way that seriously might have scarred me for life, making a literal teenager hate their hobbies, favorite shows, and the people who enjoy those things, and ultimately cyberbullying a child out of multiple fandoms because they don't want to think critically or acknowledge their own faults, all while being 35 and really embarrassing themselves because someone half their age has a better grasp on the concept of nuance than them: more at 6

but noooo, y'all "love neurodivergent/disabled people," have "racists/ableists DNI" in your bios, and don't say slurs, which is all you have to do to not be racist/ableist, so *I'm* some psycho black bitch and you're a wittle angel like the fictional character you infantilize

(P.S. I swear to fucking god if people respond to this post with "but he sexually assaulted someone" and ignore literally every other personality trait/experience he had that could've been relatable to a child abuse survivor and the way people mistreated me, a real human being, which Charlie is not by the way, I will start doing the things you wanted to do to Ben)

[livingdeadgirlflorette]

LATE NIGHT KISSES ⊹˚. ♡.𖥔 ݁ ˖ carl grimes x fem!reader

tags / rundown : fluff, slightly suggestive, set in alexandria, straddling, making out, friends-that-make-out-'cause-that's-normal, getting caught

word count: 1.56k

a/n : hello! first ever fic on tumblr lols, i've never really thought of posting anything here but I think the carl daydreams in class are getting to be too much >_< also i'm not really that fluent in english, english isn't my first language so please bare with me ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

dividers by @cafekitsune .𖥔 ݁ ˖

PART 2: ARE WE STILL FRIENDS? ₊˚✩⊹

It wouldn't be a surprise to anyone how much you have a silly teenage girl crush on the leader's son, Carl Grimes. They think it's cute, seeing you get all flushed cause he places his hands around your waist when passing through you and you getting all tongue tied when he asks if you're okay.

Or when you guys were having dinner with the group at Maggie and Glenn's house and he tells you that there's something on your face, then proceeds to use his own hand to rub it off, all the while unintentionally caressing your face. To add more fuel to the fire, everybody shows knowing looks and silent chuckles with one another. It takes all of your willpower not to combust from being flustered and embarassed cause not only did he just unexpectedly caress your face unintentionally, everybody in the group had seen the interaction go down. . . Including his father, Rick.

It all chalks up to just a small infatuation with him, that's all. You're just a girl, you get crushes. It's all just an innocent crush. Given the way that Daryl had described you back when he had caught you sneaking around the forest scrounging for food, you looked teary and doe-eyed, as if you couldn't hurt a fly. Oh Little Miss Y/N, so cute and naive. They wouldn't have thought anything else.

But you'd pay to see the look on their faces when they find out that you'd sneaking into Carl's window just to sit on his lap on his comforter and kiss him through the night. Then with the sliver of dawn seeping through his bedroom curtains, an unspoken meaning where you slip away back where you came in, as if there was nothing between you two.

And that's where you are right now, on his bed with your knees straddling his lap with your arms around his neck, his hands hesitantly going through your waist and drawing soft circles while you two kiss.

You smile into the kiss due to this. It's cute really, how no matter how many times you have his mouth between yours he'll always act as if it's the first time you've ever done something like this. He handles you with such care and delicacy, as if any sudden movement and you'd break, treating you like a porcelain doll. Pulling away, you figured a teasing comment now and then wouldn't hurt the mood.

"Aren't you just sweet?" A small airy chuckle leaves your mouth as you lazily smile, eyes lidded with lethargy from just kissing.

The look on his face is enough to tell you that he wasn't annoyed at your quip, but he seemed as if he's tired of it.

Sighing, he leans in to kiss your lips and pulled away to put his mouth near your ear. As he got closer, you could feel his breath on your ear everytime he exhaled.

"Don't get too cocky now." He smiled as he leans back to get a full view of you, all tired and giggly just from kisses between you and him. You look at his face then specifically to his lips, until going back to his gaze.

Neither one of you seemed like you wanted this to end, going slow and chaste with each touch. Every caress and hold he leaves on your skin is tingly, leaving you hot and unarguably bothered.

Carl seemed like he wanted to take it a little further, leaving you surprised when he slowly but surely puts his hand on the nape of your neck, adding a slight pull to deepen the kiss.

Evidently shocked, when you pull away slightly with your mouth slightly agape until Carl leans in more to capture it, turning the seemingly chaste kisses between the two of you into something more. No matter how different it felt, there was no denying how much you both found it so pleasurable.

As Carl keeps leaning in with his hand still on the nape of your neck, he lays you down on the headboard delicately. When you both pull away, you both just gaze at each other, basking in the loving mood that had been created. With his body on your side with his face still near yours, you both decide leaning in for another kiss wouldn't be the worst idea.

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. With all the making out with Carl made you relaxed and sleepy, you barely registered a firm knock on Carl's bedroom door. You both pause and look at the door then look to each other.

Who'd be knocking this late at night?

"Carl? You okay in there?" Shit. You could tell who's that firm but caring voice came from, and it was obviously Rick's.

Like headless chickens, you and Carl scramble to find a hiding spot for you before Rick gave himself the go-ahead to enter, ending up with you under his bed frame.

The door opens and you see Rick's socks entering Carl's room. Luckily before Rick could get in, Carl had situated himself on the bed, going under the covers making it look like he had been preparing to go to sleep.

"Hey Dad, what's wrong?" Carl asked while rubbing his eye, feigning sleepiness.

Breathing is easy, but it felt a lot more stuffy when your friends' Dad is one movement away from finding you under his son's bed. Even so, you cover your mouth, trying your best to breathe evenly. All of a sudden Rick's weight is on the side of the bed, with him sitting on it looking at Carl lovingly.

"No, it's– it's nothin', I was just thinkin' about since i've been so busy here now, I never really got to give you the chance to talk to me." He places his hand on Carl's shoulder and gave it a comforting squeeze.

"I just wanted to tell you that no matter how hectic I get— if you got any trouble, be it problems for yourself or problems about. . . a girl, you know where to find me." He smiled at Carl, the latter doing the same to him also.

"Thanks Dad, that— that means a lot." Carl smiled and Rick pulled Carl in for a hug.

This was such a heartwarming scene, if it weren't for the girl seeming under Carl's bed, waiting to be let out. She felt as if she was gonna panic any moment now, plus the fact that she was feeling guilty. Rick was having a heart-to-heart with Carl and all she could think about was about how he laid her down, with his lips chapped yet still soft against hers, the room filled with silence other than their bated breaths.

With both people pulling away, Rick sat up and adjusted his shirt. There wasn't really anything he needed to adjust, he just really needed to fidget with something, otherwise it'll make it awkward.

"I'll see you at breakfast. G'night Carl." He ruffled his son's hair then smiled. Carl seemed to also smile, letting out an chuckle.

"Goodnight Dad." Before Rick could leave the room he looked as if he was contemplating. I guess he finally made a decision when he decided to say one last goodnight.

"Goodnight Y/N." Rick smiled then shook his head chuckling before closing the door.

Y/N crawled out under the bed, mouth slightly agape, and panicked. She didn't know what to think. Rick knew? If Rick knew how did he know? Did the others know also?

"How in the hell does he know? We were so careful too." She said, slight awed. They really were careful, acting as if nothing was going on behind the scenes. She plopped down on the side of the bed next to him, leaving out a sigh then shutting her eyes.

Carl leans forward, with his head nearing hers. "I'm not even sure how. But since he knows it doesn't really matter anymore, so does that mean we can. . ." Carl trailed off, then glancing at her lips, then back at her eyes.

Scoffing with a smile, she immediately got up.

"You cannot be serious right now Carl!" She chastised him softly, and started to ready her stuff as fast as she can.

"I'm seriously not going to stay here any longer. I don't know how much embarassment I can handle knowing Rick, your father knows about this and outright acknowledged me!" She uttered, "I think it's best if I go, I think I can't handle any more guilt 'cause I feel like i'm gonna burst—"

but before she could pack up any further Carl had stood up and went to her to grab both her wrists to stop her from doing anything else.

"Hey, look at me." Carl let go of her wrists and gently used his right hand lift her chin up. He kissed her chastely, then pulled away to look at her.

"We can handle this. I'll be with you, okay? It's not as bad as you think." He assured her, then placed a loving kiss to her forehead then placing it against his, holding her with such love and care.

"Let's just hope the others haven't found out yet, they'll never let us live it down." You joked, trying to lighten the mood. Luckily it worked, with Carl smiling back at you.

"I don't think it would be so bad, them knowing you're mine."

this one was a doozy, i'm thinking if i wanna make a part two to this hihi (๑>◡<๑) don't be a silent reader and let me know!

[shizucheese]

So about that Dropout Tweet...

There's a common trend in influencer/ content creator apologies, where the person doing the apology will say they are sorry for the harm that they did, claim they are taking ownership of it and using the whole situation to become a better person, etc. etc. Usually in a way that makes it sound suspiciously like it was written by ChatGPT.

And then they'll go on to say something along the lines of "But we've been getting a lot of death threats guys, and that's bad!" As if the fact that they're getting death threats somehow absolves them of at least some of the guilt of whatever it is that made the apology necessary in the first place. As if it means they're the real victims here.

Apparently Dropout decided to just skip the "ChatGPT apology" part and jump straight to the "We're getting physcal and legal threats" part. Followed up with them once again saying they support Palestiniens and ending it with "We reject antisemitism, Islamophobia, and all forms of bigotry, and welcome all to our platform who treat others with respect, empathy, and human dignity."

And they did it on Twitter, and only Twitter. You know, the website that's notoriously overrun by Nazis. Nothing on Tumblr or Instagram, where the original statement that sparked all of this (which has since been taken down) were posted.

@dropoutdottv, @samreich, this is not listening to the Jewish members of your community who are speaking out about antisemitism. This is reinforcing the antisemitism that those Jewish members of the community are speaking out about. Because what this Tweet does is paint everyone who spoke out against the antisemitism in your original post with the same brush as the people who were sending you threats.

Which, let me be clear, they should not have been doing and I wholeheartedly condemn.

But the actions of the people sending you threats of violence and threats of legal action do not invalidate the things being said by the people who haven't threatened you with anything worse than a boycott. I have literally seen people say "the fact that they got threats just proves they were right." Is that the outcome you were trying to achieve with this?

People who did bad things get death threats all the time; refer back to the beginning of this post. Does that make their critics wrong then, too? Or is it only now, when the accusation being made is that a nerdy comedy network beloved by people on the left did an antisemitism?

I honestly can't tell if you have no publicist helping you out with one, a bad publicist that needs to give you your money back, or an evil genius publicist that knew that if you made a post like this one, it would distract from the fact that you're being accused of antisemitism, maybe even act as a dog whistle to to paint anyone who accuses you of being antisemitic of being "Zionists" (meant in the derogatory way, where people claim they're only talking about people who uncritically support the Israeli government and their actions in Gaza, but then in practice will use it against anyone who believes Israel has the right to exist, including those who want a two state solution, whose hearts break for the people in Palestine, and call Netanyahu a fascist and probably want him gone more than even the people calling them "zionists" do). Maybe even make up for all of the subscriptions you're losing over this and even gain a few by catering to the antisemitic leftist crowd.

Is that really the kind of culture you want to cultivate? If not, then do better. Acknowledge the Jewish voices that are speaking out. Listen to them. And do it in a way that doesn't bring up any other marginalized group. Because like...fuck, man, I reject Islamophobia, and all forms of bigotry too. And I'm sorry you guys are receiving threats; that truly does suck and I hope everyone that works for you guys are staying safe.

But you're specifically being accused of antisemitism. Can you really not reject it all on its own without including other forms of bigotry in the same statement?

And do it on a platform that *isn't* run by an infamous antisemitic, and overrun by more antisemitics? (You can turn off comments and reblogs on Tumblr and comments on instagram, in the same way you disabled replies on your Tweet, you know.)

Here, I'll even write the statement for you: "Earlier this week, we made a statement regarding accusations that Dropout was platforming zionists. At the time, we made a statement focusing on our support of the Palestinian people. We stand by this statement. However, we have received feedback from several members of our community that some of the things that we said were inappropriate insensitive to the Jewish people. "Zionist" and "Zionism" mean different things to different people, ranging from "people who support the Israeli government's actions in Gaza" to "people who believe that Israel has a right to exist and the Jewish people have the right to self-determination." We had meant it in the context of the former definition, but we understand that many Jewish people identify with the later, including many people who are disgusted by the Israeli government's actions in Gaza, and we should have been more sensitive to this fact. Additionally, we would like to reiterate that, to our knowledge, nobody who has appeared on Dropout has openly stated support for the Israelie's actions in Gaza, and several of those accused have voiced their support for a free Palestine. We would like to take this moment to remind everyone that just because a person is Jewish, and may have ties to Israel, does not inherently mean they condone the actions of the Israeli government in Gaza, and to suggest otherwise is antisemitic. We at Dropout reject all forms of antisemitism and are committed to providing a safe space to everyone regardless of religion or ethnic background. We apologize if we made the Jewish members of our community feel like that was not the case."

See how easy that was? I feel something like this is the bear minimum, and if you had said the things in the last three paragraphs from the start, you could have avoided having to say everything in the first two paragraphs and the apology at the end.

That's...pretty much everything I have to say on the matter. To anyone reading this: Do not use other Jewish people to silence Jewish voices.

Do not use people of other marginalized groups to silence Jewish voices.

Just...maybe just listen to what we have to say without twisting our words and putting words in our mouths? Maybe?

Thanks for reading.

I'm so tired.

[oh-my-damn]

Sleepy Orange

Pairing: Astarion x Female!Tav/reader

Summary: You come back from a fight exhausted beyond belief. Astarion does his best to take care of you. Part of that includes peeling your orange.

Wordcount: 1300

Warnings: None. Pure, unadulterated fluff. A happy, sappy, in love Astarion (just as he deserves to always be)

Masterlist

You huffed as your tired body plopped down on the bed in your tent, a groan spilling out when you land on the many pillows adorning it.

Your head lolls back as your eyes droop closed, every muscle in your body aching from your escapades today.

It had been a long one. A long and rough one. It felt like you'd been fighting for days when you finally came out victorious, but the price of winning meant that you'd been covered in blood and bruises.

One long bath later, you were finally back in your tent, lit candles scattered about, jewel-shade pillows in velvety fabrics adorning the space.

Your living accommodations had certainly become more colorful and frivolous ever since you and Astarion had decided to shack up together.

It had been an accident, at first. Your relationship had it's ups and downs, but after defeating Cazador, he finally told you how he felt. He laid himself bare for you, not just his body but his soul as well, and your heart soared at the idea that the man you fell for so recklessly finally loved you back. Even with everything the two of you had gone through.

Eventually, it came to a point where the two of you would spend every night in each others arms, either in your own tent or his. So naturally, you came to the conclusion that it would be easier if you just shared one tent. Together.

It had taken a period of adjustment, at first, but it didn't take long for both of you to find a home in your newly shared accommodations. For Astarion, an important part of his living space was that it be elegant, and comfortable – at least whatever comfortable meant to his standards. For you, it felt more lavish than anything, but after a while you started to find your own comfort in merely the thought that he loved the space. You found comfort in the thought that he felt at home, considering it had been so long since he'd felt that way.

You and Astarion aside, however, your work was still cut out for you on the fighting front. Defeating Cazador was nowhere near the end for you, even despite of Astarion now being a free – albeit still spawn – vampire, your main quest remained the same, and you were still fighting day to day to make it happen. Which is why you're currently camped out on the outskirts of Baldur's Gate, planning your next move.

Unfortunately for you and your companions, your presence in Baldur's Gate didn't exactly please everyone, which is why a group of mercenaries had cornered you earlier, prepared for a fight. They got one, but victory didn't come easily, which is why you're now achingly sore to the point of almost crying.

Your bones ache, so do your muscles, and your stomach feels empty beyond what could possibly be deemed healthy, but you're simply too tired to make any food.

You almost manage to drift off right there, in just your casual outfit on top of piles of velvet pillows, when you hear soft steps approaching, entering your tent.

You already know who it is just by the sound of his steps, how silent they are; you can tell that the only reason there's a sound at all is for your benefit, to alert you of his presence.

When he speaks, his voice is soft, laced with worry, a gentle whisper that caresses your mind, lulling you gently.

"Darling. Please tell me you're not dead."

A tired smile works its way onto your face, but your eyes remain closed as you murmur, "I'm alive."

"Thank the gods," Astarion responds, and you can just imagine the characteristic smirk on his face as he speaks, "Because if you were, I'm sure our companions wouldn't hesitate to suspect it be my doing."

You can hear him ruffling about faintly, closing the flaps to your tent to grant the two of you privacy, but your mind is already desperately slipping towards dream-state, only urged on by your body.

A beat passes before he speaks again, more quietly this time, but his voice is clearer than before despite it, which indicates he's moved closer to you.

"Have you eaten anything yet?"

You mumble something inaudible, but you manage to shake your head slowly, your eyes staying closed as you remain too tired to offer him a proper response.

He let's out a sigh, one that's steeped in worry rather than disappointment, and then you feel something cold gently brush over your cheek. His fingers.

"You need to eat, my darling. I know you're tired, but you haven't eaten all day. What can I get you?"

Your brows furrow as you shift slightly on the bed, tilting your cheek into his embrace. He cups it carefully, his cold touch soothing on your skin when his thumb caresses it.

"Mh, dunno.." Your response is barely there, but Astarion doesn't move away, his voice determined.

"I cannot in good consciousness let you sleep before you eat at least a little bit. How about fruit? An apple, perhaps?"

You grunt, your brows furrowing as your head shakes.

Astarion tuts gently at your antics, his fingers brushing over your forehead in a soothing manner, "Okay, my sweet, point taken. No apples. An orange then, would that entice you?"

You hesitate. An orange does sound absolutely perfect right now.

But then you let out a whine, "Too tired to peel it."

Astarion chuckles softly, his fingers gently sliding down the bridge of your nose as he whispers, "Don't fret, my dear."

The bed shifts again, his cool touch leaving your face, but it doesn't take long before your mind steals you away again, luring you into your dream state.

You're almost there when you feel movement again, your brows furrowing slightly as your tongue darts out to wet your dry lips.

Astarion gently slides a hand down your arm, his voice quiet, "I'm back, my love. I've got something for you, won't you indulge me in having a few bites?"

You stir at his words, settling against the pillows again, and then you feel something prod at your lips as he speaks again, "Open up for me, darling."

Your lips part, and he gently feeds you an orange slice, the taste making you hum when you bite down on it.

Astarion smiles at the tired look on your face, further peeling the orange to get more slices when you chew them.

"There we go. Tastes good, yes?"

You nod sleepily, blinking owlishly to look up at him through tired eyes. His smile widens when your eyes meet his, his adept fingers expertly peeling the orange without issue, "There she is. My little warrior."

You let out a tired chuckle at his words, parting your lips when he offers you another orange slice.

"Just a few more, darling. Then I'll let you rest."

You nod, your eyes fluttering closed again, but it doesn't deter him from feeding you the remaining orange slices as he speaks to you quietly to keep you awake.

"You were a sight for sore eyes today. I bet Gale is jealous you're not halfway to passed out in his bed right now."

You let out a snort at his words, shaking your head which makes him chuckle, "Now now, stay still, you little vixen. Eat the last of your orange."

You comply, chewing the last few bites and swallowing with a satisfied hum once you finish. His cool fingers gently caress your face, first your cheek and then down to your jaw, before you feel him lean closer. You feel his lips brush a kiss to your forehead, and then another on the tip of your nose before he whispers, "Thank you for eating. You may sleep now, my treasure."

[talaok]

The mission

Pairing: Joel miller x reader

Summary: Joel is the boss of a group of criminals in the QZ, and you're his little bunny everyone knows better than to look at, and this time, you wanna help him on a mission.

warnings: smut| the tiniest smudge of fingering, unprotected p in v sex, exhibitionism (yes again. dont look at me) and of course daddy kink

this is the fourth part to this but it can be read alone

"you want to what!?"

"I wanna help" you repeated, leaning back on his desk so you were right in front of where he was sitting.

"no"

"but-"

"absolutely not" he shook his head, not even listening to what you had to say.

You raised an eyebrow, getting ready to stand your ground.

"You need me" you said, making him look up at you, a mix of anxiety and frustration fogging his eyes.

"How would you even know?"

"David told me what you're planning to do"

You watched his fingers grip the edge of his chair to try and relieve some anger.

Fucking David. He was gonna have to teach him a lesson later.

"Still. We don't need you"

You huffed, crossing your arms,

"You need someone to distract the guard"

His eyes shut for a moment as he shrugged 

"I've got plenty of men who can do that"

A smug smirk tugged at your lips at his words "And that's exactly the problem"

You watched his brow arch in puzzlement

"You've got men" you explained "But what you need is a woman"

A chuckle fled his lips at your feeble attempt at convincing him "A man can distract a guard just fine, sweetheart"

"Yes" you agreed "But I could do it much better"

He leaned back in his chair, watching you closely.

"you could" he conceded "but not only would you distract the guard, but all my men. Me included"

You had to roll your eyes at that.

That must have been the worst excuse you'd ever heard

"You know I would be good at it" you continued 

"I know you would, baby, but you know I can't let you do that" he said, gentler now as his hand reached for your waist to draw slow patterns on it "You're too important, I can't let anything happen to you"

"but nothing has to happen to me, I just gotta distract a guard"

"it's still dangerous" he shook his head, "You've gotta understand baby, I-"

"please" you pouted, looking down at him with the best doe eyes you could muster

"bunny, I can't-"

That hadn't worked, so you had to retort to the only method you knew was fool-proof.

"please" you murmured again, placing your hands on his shoulder as you straddled his lap.

"please Daddy, just this once" you whispered, gently kissing his cheek before making your way to his neck.

"bunny..." he groaned, as his hands betrayed him and reached for your waist "I know what you're doing"

"'m not doing anything" you lied, going as far as grinding your core against his crotch while you kissed him right below his ear "I promise I'll be good"

"fuck- baby this ain't fair" he groaned again, his cock hardening in his jeans

"please daddy" you whimpered, passing a hand through his hair in that way you knew he loved "I'll do whatever you tell me to do" you promised "I'll follow all your instructions" The way your hot breath tickled his skin made him want to forget about everything and just take you right there and them "I'll be real good for you daddy"

And that was it.

He was 100% aware of having just been manipulated, but fuck- if you asked him with that sweet voice of yours, he would have agreed to jump off a cliff without a second thought.

"fuck me- fine" he sighed, inhaling your heavenly scent, as his fingers started already infiltrating underneath your top "But you're gonna do everythin' I tell you to do, ok? I don't wanna hear a single complaint"

Your grin resembled one of a child in a candy store

"yes daddy"

"and I know you don't like 'em but I'm givin' you a gun" he spoke, his attention not on your eyes but on your tits as he groped them underneath the fabric "we'll go over the basics again later" he spoke, before his gaze found yours, suddenly serious.

"and bunny, if anything goes wrong... if even one thing isn't how it's supposed to be, you run." he said "You get the fuck out of there, I don't care if it gets me and all my men killed. You save yourself first, we clear?"

You had to bite down the huge grin spreading on your face to try and at least look like you weren't jumping out of your skin in the excitement.

"Yes daddy" you nodded

"good" he murmured "Now c'mere you fuckin' smartass"

__ __ __

Joel had prepared you for the mission like you were about to go to war, you don't think he'd ever gone that long talking to you without touching some part of your body, and yet he'd spent a whole hour explaining to you what was gonna happen, and how everything was gonna proceed and most importantly, how no matter what, you had to "save yourself first"

But it was dumb really, your job was to do what you'd learned to do since you hit puberty: flirting with men to get what you want.

There's not a lot of ways a girl can survive on her own in a post-apocalyptic world, so the moment you understood the power you and your body held, you started using it to your advantage.

Which is why your task was a walk in the park.

The guard had forgotten all about what he was paid to do, which was paying attention to the security footage, from the moment you walked in, and all you needed to do was to put on a small little skirt and smile at everything he said.

There's only one thing men like more than a woman: a woman in distress.

Which is why you had made up this whole story about being new to the QZ and having gotten lost.

But hey thankfully, you'd stumbled upon this Fedra building and found "such a handsome, smart-looking man" that was more than eager to help you.

Joel and his crew had all the time in the world to steal whatever it was they were stealing, all the while you had fun.

You hadn't felt this ecstatic in years

You were basically skipping as you walked out of the building.

"there you are" you watched Joel breathe a sigh of relief as you walked over to where he was leaning on a black car "you got me scared for a moment bunny"

You frowned, peeking at the watch he'd insisted you wore.

"I was only one minute late"

He shook his head, grabbing your waist with both his hands to force you flush against him "and it was enough" he murmured, ignoring the fact that his whole crew was standing right beside you, and leaning in to kiss you as if he hadn't seen you for days.

You melted right into him, softly whimpering in his mouth when one of his hands traveled lower to grab one of your asscheeks.

You grinned widely as he leaned away, and he couldn't help but smile too watching that look on your face.

"get inside the car" he murmured, leaving another quick kiss on your lips before getting out of the way to open the door for you.

Surprisingly, he wasn't driving this time.

Just as you bent down to get inside, you heard him bark behind you at someone to his right "The fuck are you looking at?"

"N-nothing boss, I'm sorry"

Joel didn't answer, he only removed his hand from where he held his gun and got inside the car with you, shutting the door behind him.

You watched through the windshield, as the poor guy put a hand on his chest, probably checking if it was still beating.

"you scared him" you half scolded, half cooed as you wasted no time scooting closer to him

A soft smirk pulled at his lips as his thumb reached for your cheek to stroke it 

"what a shame" he murmured, kissing you.

As the kiss heated, his tongue infiltrating into your mouth as you moaned into his, you felt his hands take hold of your waist to guide you on top of him, and you gladly complied.

"hey there" you smiled

"hey b-"

An awkward cough made its way to both his ears

"Should I... give you some space?" the guy at the wheel asked.

Funny, you hadn't even noticed he was there.

"who's gonna drive the car if you do that?" Joel huffed a laugh 

"I just though-"

"start driving" Joel interrupted, already focused on you again "and keep your eyes on the road"

"yes boss"

And just like that, the car was moving.

"You don't mind Pike being here do you bunny? he's very discreet"

"I don't mind daddy" you murmured, not resisting anymore as you latched your mouth to that irresistible neck of his.

Just like every time you were in his arms, his scent and warmth wrapped around you like magic.

"good" he smiled, losing himself in your touch for a moment before he remembered something.

"What was the guy's name bunny?"

"mh?" you frowned, looking up at him confused.

"the guard, darlin', what was his name?"

You arched a brow as your left hand went to his hair as you inspected his face.

"why?" you asked suspiciously

"I'll need to take care of him"

"Daddy he didn't do anything wrong" you whispered, trying to reason with him.

"he looked at you didn't he?"

you couldn't help but roll your eyes "he needed to look at me to be able to talk to me"

"yeah but I'm sure he was doing a lot more than talking in that brain of his"

"daddy" you murmured, as your index finger traced his jaw "you can't kill every guy I come across on every mission "

"every mission? who said this is happening again?" he tilted his head, a soft amusement shining in his eyes

"I did"

"oh bunny," he smiled as he shook his head" this was a one-time thing"

But you both knew it really wasn't up to him.

Yes, he was his crew's boss, but you were the boss's boss.

"we'll see" You shut him up, crashing your mouth with his in a frenzy of clashing teeth and tongues.

The mission had gotten you so worked up you'd been wet since he first kissed you.

You couldn't help but grind on him to relieve some of the tension that had created between your thighs, before losing your patience and just deciding to get to the real thing.

He was groping your ass with one hand while the other busied itself with your tits when your left hand sneaked down his torso to find that hard tent straining from his jeans.

"Actually..." he breathed, as you undid his belt as quickly as you could "If this is what you going on missions gets me, I think I might have to take back what I said "

You let out a small giggle at that, "I thought you might say that"

He smiled too, but his mouth was back on yours as quickly as it had parted, tasting all that you would give him.

You made quick work of his zipper, and eagerly freed his cock from his boxers, making him groan loudly.

"fuck bunny" he breathed, glancing down to where you were stroking his cock with those heavenly soft hands of yours.

The fact that Pike was not even two meters away from you wasn't remotely crossing your minds.

You mimicked him and looked down at his manhood, and god it looked so delicious, but as much as you wanted a taste there wasn't really that much space for maneuver in the back of this car, and to be completely honest there was also the fact that your pussy had been screaming for any type of attention for some time now so-

"spit" 

You hadn't even realized his hand was in front of your mouth, but the moment you did, you complied.

You watched as that same now spit-filled hand made its way underneath your skirt and panties in no time.

He slathered the liquid all around your folds, making you squirm uncontrollably, before, without any type of warning, plunging two of his thick fingers deep inside your heat.

"daddy!" 

"she's ready" he decided, continuing to watch you as you slowly raised yourself to sink down on his cock.

"o-oh my god" you whimpered as your head fell to the crook of his neck.

He was stretching you so good... and god, but he was so deep

"fuck baby" he groaned, both his hands now on your ass to squeeze it however he pleased, "feel fucking perfect"

You softly smiled at that, kissing up his neck as you started moving with the help of his hands, which guided your movements a bit.

"I was good wasn't I?" you whispered onto his pulse point, before gently sucking on it

"the best" he promised, groaning a bit as you fastened your pace "my precious little bunny" he praised into your ear "always such a good girl"

The sound that was spreading around the car was filthy, but all either of you could think about was the other.

Your fingers were grabbing at the hair at the nape of his neck, while your other hand was grasping his shoulder for dear life as you bounced up and down on his cock.

"jesus you're so tight sugar" he groaned as you bit down on a spot on his neck "So perfect" he continued, watching you pleasure yourself on his dick "So beautiful" 

Your clit was grinding against his crotch and it was only making you reach your climax faster 

"and so fucking smart" he murmured "You're amazing bunny, you really are"

what before were soft breathy moans whispered in his ear, had now quickly evolved to higher and louder cries that were making poor Pike want to die.

"f-fuck daddy" you whimpered, leaning your forehead onto his to look at him in the eyes 

"you coming bunny?"

"mh-mh" was all you could muster

"yeah? then come for me baby" he ordered "Come around my cock"

And just like that, You did, you came, screaming his name at the top of your lungs as your movements got more and more sloppy

"Thank you daddy" was the only coherent sentence that came out of your mouth as your orgasm took over your body

"Whatever you want bunny" he promised, watching mesmerized as you came apart before him "fuck-whatever you want, you know that"

And you did know that, because as he'd proven times and times again, for you, there wasn't one thing he wouldn't do.

__

if you wanna read more of Bunny and Joel → here

[hardly-an-escape]

following on from this post, 780 more words of slightly angsty Tommy POV post-breakup

The second voicemail comes about a week and a half later. While Tommy is in therapy.

It's not formal therapy (what he thinks of as real therapy, though he keeps that particular bitchy thought to himself), more of a support group geared toward veterans and first responders. He'd originally found it in the weeks after Howie had saved his life, still reeling and feeling his mortality more keenly than he ever had before, and he'd returned off and on over the years.

Including now. Two sleepless nights in a row leading to a silent crying jag in the shower at work will do that to a person. So his phone is on silent and in the backpack under his folding chair when Evan – when Buck calls.

It's probably for the best. The support group has been leaving him feeling so raw, so flayed open, that if his phone had rung while he was sitting in his truck afterward, decompressing and chugging a bottle of water, he probably would have answered.

As it is, it takes him a good five minutes of staring at the notification on his phone before he works up the courage to listen to the message.

"Hey, Tommy. It's me. I'm sorry for… for calling you out of the blue like this, but," Evan sighs. "I don't know. I guess I didn't know… who else to talk about this. Not that you want to talk to me, but." He laughs. It doesn't even sound sarcastic, just dull. "Anyway. Eddie's leaving. He's moving back to Texas to be with Chris. It… it's the right thing to do. He's talking about selling his house. I know it's the right thing. But it's got me… I don't know, I'm really fucked up about it. I just wanted to hear your voice for a second, even if it was just your… your outgoing message. I'm sorry about this."

There's a muffled thump, as though he'd almost dropped the phone while hanging up, and the voicemail ends.

Tommy listens to it two more times, sitting in the parking lot of the slightly rundown community center where the support group meets. He realizes he's gripping his phone so tightly that the case is digging uncomfortable lines into the palm of his hand.

He aches for Evan. He feels the sadness, the longing, like a physical presence in his chest, a fishhook caught in the soft meat just below his sternum, attached to a line running who knows where. He feels as though something or someone is tugging on the line, a little meanly, every time he thinks about Evan. About Buck.

He drives home and ignores the part of his heart that's telling him to make a sharp turn and go directly to the loft. To knock on the door and see Buck's eyes light up, like they always did, and to forestall the inevitable disappointment at the memory the sight of Tommy would spark by simply stepping into his space and kissing him. To wrap Buck up in his arms and tell him everything is going to be okay.

It's a pleasant daydream. But that's just not how things are allowed to go.

Tommy makes it home and makes himself go inside, put his things away, and drink another glass of water before he pulls out his phone again.

Tommy: Got your message. I think you're probably right that it's the right thing but it sounds tough. Tommy: When does he leave?

The answer doesn't come through right away; Tommy wonders if Buck's on shift or busy with something else. It's evening by now, he could be out with friends, or having dinner with his sister. Tommy doesn't think about it.

E. Buckley: depends on when the house goes on the market I guess idk E. Buckley: it sounds like theres still alot to figure out actually.

There's a long pause. The little typing bubbles appear and disappear several times before the next text arrives.

E. Buckley: thank u for answering. how are you doing?

Tommy sucks in a breath. He doesn't know how to answer that question except with meaningless platitudes or devastating truth, and it doesn't feel like Evan deserves either one.

Tommy: Don't worry about me.

This time the answer comes almost immediately.

E. Buckley: don't tell me what to do E. Buckley: anyway I can't help it so deal

He doesn't know what to say to that either, so once again he leaves Evan – leaves Buck, fuck – guiltily on read and shoves his phone back in his pocket. He gets himself a beer and drinks it, too fast, standing up in the kitchen.

Maybe someday he'll have the balls to call back.

[chiisana-sukima]

hi so what qualities do you think dean admires about sam and vice versa would like to know your thoughts

Love your meta btw as a new spn fan

Hi Nonny, tysm for the ask!

I haven't thought a ton about this question prior to now, so I'm interested in other people's opinions too if they want to add them on reblog. But it seems to me that the 'what does Dean admire about Sam' half of the question is pretty easily answered, because Dean isn't shy with his praise of Sam in canon.

He's also not shy with his criticism, of course, and I think this is because some of the things he admires most about Sam are the same things that are dangerous to him personally. My favorite recap is in the finale:

And there's this from 15.11:

Dean says similar things in other episodes, going way back to 1.11, which the finale speech is practically a word for word recap of:

I think Dean legitimately believes all this; that Sam is better than him in practically every way-- smarter, more compassionate, more optimistic, possessed of a better moral compass (usually), more skilled in a variety of ways, etc. And especially that Sam is healthier than him; more of a complete, autonomous human being who would be fully able to live a "normal" life if circumstances were right, whereas he, Dean, would not be. By "you're stronger than me" (which he also tells Sam before he goes to Hell in s3) he means "capable of independence".

I have decidedly ambivalent feelings about the "Dean is Sam's Parent" reading of spn, but I do think this is a very parental type of admiration; both because of the 'I'm proud' piece and because 'I raised you to be able to outlive me' is maybe a parent's primary responsibility second only to unconditional love. And I think it's realistic and sympathetic that Dean admires these traits in Sam while simultaneously fighting tooth and nail to undermine Sam ever actually becoming fully independent as long as Dean's alive (and until the finale, even afterwards). "You're better than me; don't leave me" is honestly extremely relatable.

R.e. the 'what does Sam admire in Dean' part of the question, I think that's more complicated to explain, and I'm especially interested in what other fans think about this part. I think obviously if someone asked Sam what he admires in Dean, he'd be able to run off a list of traits. And he does sometimes mention traits he finds admirable in Dean, like in 8.14 where he says "You're not a grunt, Dean. You're a genius" and says Dean is a better hunter than either himself or their father.

But for the core of what I think Sam feels about Dean that's in the same, idk, synonym group ig, as 'admiration', I don't think 'admires' really covers it very well. It's almost more like worships. He thinks, quite simply, that Dean is good. And since he thinks that he, Sam, is fundamentally not good, he sees Dean as the final arbiter of, well, everything. Sam thinks Sam could never go on a quest like Galahad, but although it's never specifically mentioned, I think its pretty clear he believes Dean could.

I think Sam feels about Dean the way I think deeply religious people--not the kind that mouth platitudes but the kind that have really struggled with and thought long and hard about their faith--feel about God. He knows Dean makes mistakes, he knows Dean is deeply fucked up in many ways, he yells at and argues with Dean and goes behind Dean's back and lies to him and etc, all because he does truly understand that Dean's decisions are, on a practical level, sometimes honestly pretty messed up. But he also has an unshakable faith that where he, Sam, might make bad choices because he's bad, Dean will struggle but ultimately always eventually choose correctly, even if one of the steps along the way is chopping Sam's head off with Death's scythe. Because Dean is good. Sam fans (myself included) will look back on the panic room and think "wow Dean sure was living up to the family-is-hell premise on that one", but Sam will look back on it and think "he saved me".

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

🎶🎻 let's see if this actually helps me find this later

WIBTA for marking up my friend's sheet music?

ok so I (15m) have a friend (17f) and we both play cello in the classical music ensemble at our school. we have both been playing cello for approx 7 years. we had very different musical upbringings: she learned to play cello in a class with a bunch of other kids, and from what I gather there were many other instruments and the teacher took kind of a hands-off approach, which is typical for the kind of elementary school she went to. I, on the other hand, learned through private lessons (which I don't think I'm better for, it's just different) and my teacher (who I still take piano and cello lessons from) is a little bit obsessive when it comes to correct technique and stuff. I care a little less about technique than my teacher, but I definitely developed quite a few of her habits: I always pay really close attention to what the sheet music tells me, especially dynamics and which direction my bow needs to go in, or how many notes I'm playing in a bow stroke. part of this is because that's what the composer would have wanted and also because when I started my teacher would make me mark everything, and I mean EVERYTHING in my sheet music. we're talking fingerings, bow markings, highlighting every chreschendo and decrescendo, putting the counting in for all of the rhythms and more. now I typically only mark super important things, like if I keep forgetting a note or something, and I rarely mark my cello sheet music in ensembles, though everyone has seen me mark my bass music, since I'm new to bass.

Recently, since it's about 2/3rds of the way through the school year and we have a good group, my ensemble has been playing more challenging stuff. the parts or more intricately layered and dynamics are a pretty big thing, especially for the cello section, since we basically have one line for half of a piece which is just to play some half notes that crescendo and decrescendo over and over. and it's like, all we do, like it's a pretty big part of the song. the issue is that my friend just kind of ignores the dynamic markings and bowings in the music and what the other cellists are doing (there's three of us, including me and her and she sits in between us) so she just kinda plays the piece at the same volume. the whole time. and it's written right there. and she's heard me play it solo without the ensemble before, so in theory she knows how to do it. and after seven years of playing the cello, you should have the bow control to play quietly.

now, this wouldn't annoy me so much if her ignorance wasn't a recurring thing. last year, we played aquarius with the jazz ensemble and we both really liked the piece. except we had this one part. we had to play a bunch of tied whole notes in the beginning. just two in a row and then we'd change bows. (if you don't play an instrument, a tied note is basically when the note is played over two measures, in this case we would play the same note fore eight beats, and then reverse the direction of our bow) now, I can hold my bow in one direction for eight beats. it's not fun or easy and I'd rather play a melody or bass line to begin with, but if you're playing quietly (like we were supposed to be) you can maintain a pretty steady pace for eight beats in one bow. my friend NEVER did this. she would just run her bow back and forth on the note until we moved on to the next and then do the same there. and I'm talking like she'd play maybe ten notes while we played one. which, obviously, through off the rhythm. we weren't as close last year and I didn't know she'd been playing as long as she had, so I ignored it. but, she kept doing it and she still does. I've confronted her about it multiple times, saying how it's like if you breathed half way through a note on a wind instrument, how it messes us up because her bow will go in a different direction than the other cellos and hit me in the elbow a lot, and how it makes us look weirdly messy. every time she just kind of says okay and walks off.

now, I think my friend could benefit from having her sheet music marked like my teacher used to make me, because clearly just mentioning it to her is not enough and as we move on to harder music it's making us look worse. so, wibta if I brought some extra pens and highlighters and reminded her to circle or highlight different dynamic, rhythmic and bowing notations if she doesn't play them the first few times?

What are these acronyms?

[speirslore]

when you get hurt hcs [officers + roe]

a/n: requested <3 usually in my writing the reader is implied to be a part of easy company in a vague way bc i know ppl have different preferences but some of these include getting shot (not graphic or anything) so ig that implies they're on the front lines

lmk if you would like to be on my taglist! @ronsparky @bcon24 @blueberry-ovaries @1waveshortofashipwreck

[dick winters]

you hit your head prettyyyy hard, and you're out of it, probably definitely concussed

it happens right in front of dick and he tries really hard to keep calm

he wants to be strong and level-headed for you

shows more obvious affection then any of the men have ever seen from him; pets your hair, holds your hand, is always by your side

he immediately gets you a medic and transported to an aid station and doesn’t want to leave you

but when dick's back with easy, he gets uncharacteristically easily angry and frustrated...

he gets quiet and withdrawn and a little snappy with zelensky and nix... and they both immediately know why

whenever he can go see you, he's there.. he even gets behind on all his paperwork (but nix offers to help)

which dick is hesitant to accept for many reasons, he feels guilty, like he's not focusing on his duties but lew is always good at keeping the reports concise lol

very fragile with you, he isn't underestimating you but he just absolutely does not want to push you or hurt you

is a stickler for the rules, follows absolutely everything the doctor says

he has to wake you up every few hours and you keep insisting it’s unnecessary and dick is absolutely not having it

you try to get up and move around and all dick has to hear is the sheets moving and he just gives you that stare, a little bit like a disappointed mom, and you're right back laying down

he’s way more clingy than usual, wants to be by your side, subtly holding your hand

in that moment it definitely hits him how much he loves and cares about you... he hasn't really had time or space to process those feelings until now <3

[lewis nixon]

it does not look good at first

it's really scary for everyone there, you loose a lot of blood and lose consciousness

lew is not there when you're first shot in the leg and everyone is very glad that he didn't have to see it

but when he finds out... oh he is not keeping cool, is not pretending even a little bit to be okay

starts lashing out and snaps at the driver who's taking him to the hospital to drive faster, mad that they didn't tell him sooner, mad that you were injured, mad at the war, furious at absolutely everything

lew has to be monitored by dick not to go full self destruction mode and get incredibly drunk

he hates just sitting with the constant uncomfortable feeling and reminder that you're hurting

he will not leave your side at first when you’re sleeping a lot, on a lot of medicine, and out of it

one nurse does approach him when he's the only vistor in the hospital left, "sir, the visiting hours-"

he just looks up, obviously devastated, voice cracking, "i'm can't leave. you can drag me out but i'm not going, thanks."

they back off after that

does go through a phase where he hates going once you're more conscious because he kills him to see you like that and face this feels irrational guilt he feels for not being there

because he definitely has the tendency to avoid his problems and things that hurt him

but it hurts you too and you don't fully understand

you look up at dick and harry, slightly delirious from the morphine, tearing up, "does he not want to see me anymore?"

after that they do drag lew to see you and you just straight up tell him feeling guilty is pointless and not fair to himself (or you)

and then it's right back to not leaving your side and always trying to make you laugh or smile

[ron speirs]

okay so i love the angel of the company x speirs trope

by now he's the co of easy and your relationship is a widely known secret...

he assigns you and the group of other men to a patrol... it wasn't an overly risky or bad order, a standard order from sink

but you guys make contact and you're shot in the arm

it just absolutely wrecks him

the guys feel like he's just going to go across enemy lines and find the soldier that shot you himself

the rest of the guys are furious too because everyone just absolutely loves you

for a short time, he's mad at the other soldiers on the patrol and you have to reminder him they didn't do anything wrong

but ron is really just irrationally mad at himself for not being there, for not being psychic, he's just angry he somehow didn't stop this

ron is not controlling and not possessive and he knows you can hold your own but he feels responsible for taking care of you and making sure you're safe

even if he can't quite articulate all of those feelings yet

he doesn't understand all the emotions he feels and doesn't even have time to try to understand them

he listens so attentively to the doctors, he can recite everything they've said word for word

like with chuck, he demands the absolute best from the doctors

this incident shows his more compassionate side and the guys start to see how much he really cares about you... bc they're protective of you too!

you have to comfort him and his voice breaks

and he feels weak and he feels bad that you're comforting him and not the other way around

"i'm messing everything up, doing everything wrong," he says more to himself but you frown, eyebrows furrowed and everything

"you're so hard on yourself, ron. when it's not your fault, it was routine, you didn't shoot me. then i'd be really pissed." you smile and he smiles weakly... but he's on edge for a longgg time after this

[carwood lipton]

unfortunately you and lip just cannot catch a break

your leg gets injured while he has pneumonia

it's not a major injury but a bullet ricocheted off of a wall and slightly grazed you and you need a few days of staying off of it

lip really tries to be comforting

and wants to be there for you and he is!

but it's very hard for him, he just wants you to be okay so badly, even when he himself isn't okay

trying to lecture you about staying off of your leg and asking others for help but breaking out into a coughing fit and then you're trying to help him sit up and to go get some hot water for him

and then he's back to telling you to stop and starts hoarsely calling for luz

it's a MESS

but carwood is a natural caretaker and has been one for most of his life

it makes him hover sooo badly especially because since he's sick too he doesn't have a lot of work to keep him busy

but you're not complaining honestly, it's nice to have more private time and something of a break, even if you're both miserable

you get the special privilege of an actual private back bed room with a mattress and blankets

kind of a bonding experience

you just laugh because what the fuck

it's kind of romantic, first time in a longgg time in an actual bed together

you just go back and forth talking about your future and the life you want after the war

"i don't like this wallpaper," you murmur into his chest

he laughs and that turns into coughing again and you're just rubbing his back trying not to bend your leg... domestic bliss <3

[buck compton]

buck... does not take it well

he takes it extremely hard

like his reaction to joe and bill...

you have pneumonia and the peniciln you need isn't available in bastogne

and it's even worse that he finds out you're sick only a few hours after that and that you've been sick and struggling for the past few days

maybe his reaction would've been different earlier on in the war

but now, it just feels like a destructive domino effect that's sparing no one

it's obvious after all of his friends injuries and your pneumonia that he couldn't stay on the front line... his red bleary eyes and slightly trembling hands said enough

when he gets taken off the line, you're both in an aid station together for a few hours before you're both transferred to different hospital

so his presence is silent reassurance

you want so badly to comfort him but you're so sick and he doesn't want you to, he feels so guilty leaving you

but you hoarsely tell him he needs a break and to process what happened

you're feeling slightly better this day so that makes it a little better... but not that much

both of you have been through hell

but there is a light in the tunnel... or at least you feel that way

buck isn't on the front lines anymore and you both have a chance at a life together post-war

he does not want to leave you, it has to take a lot of malarkey's coaxing him and promising to update buck

[eugene roe]

gene can't decide if having medical knowledge makes it better or worse

and if being the medic and being the one to have their hands covered in the your blood, was better than leaving it in the hands of someone else

he decides it's awful... definitely worse

the very few hours he slept, it was just dreaming of your terrified face

and he wakes with a jolt and is completely miserable

and life just goes on...

a lot of pacing and murmuring

gene closes in on himself when he's upset and stressed, so he becomes even quieter than normal

and the other guys are worried like ??? do we need to intervene and lip just stops them, "leave him alone, he'll be okay."

prays for you a lot, gripping his rosary so tightly and the photo that he has of the two of you when you were still in england

when you both felt some semblance of normalcy

he can't abandon the company to stay with you full time at the aid station to his incredible frustration and disappointment

it's just hard for him to go on like everything's fine, it shatters whatever illusion he has of fairness and hope and safety

whenever someone else gets injured or they need supplies, he'll take any excuse to ride back to the aid station to see you

and if anyone else goes, they always see you and give gene an update

winters definitely notices and tries to give him opportunities to see you

likes watching you rest and sleep (because you definitely needed it, even before you got injured) in the sweetest, non-creepy way

gene loves to just sit with you, see you with his own eyes, and know for certain that you're okay

[duchessonfire]

Savior Carl!AU re-read Part 2 Chapter 5

Follow-up of my re-read of Part 2 Chapter 4. If you're not interested and don't want to have your dashboard spammed, you can block the tags Duchess reads and Savior Carl AU reread.

Commentary for Part 2, Ch 5 below the cut (spoilers for part 2 ahead):

So funny thing, this chapter ("Claimed") was supposed to happen much earlier but I kept being sidetracked by Carl and Negan's slow burn. The Claimers were always going to be a part of the AU series, and they were one of the first things I added to my draft for part 2.

I will never tire of saying this: the way the series just handwaved away the trauma of Carl's near sexual assault is absolutely infuriating. Plenty of characters have had better exploration of their abuse and the lasting effect it had on them (Daryl and Carol, just off the top of my head, but also fucking Maggie who has been carrying her PTSD from the line-up for 5 seasons and one goddamn spin-off), but apparently we're all supposed to believe that Carl, who was anywhere between 13 and 16 in the series, just brushed off the time a man pinned him on his stomach and almost raped him in front of his family before watching his attacker get brutally gutted by his father? That doesn't deserve more than one passing mention by Michonne, which was more about the fact that Carl was giving the cold shoulder to Rick than about the trauma he just went through? Yeah? Okay...

My boy deserves better than this so I really wanted a story that focuses fully on the Claimers episode and explores the lasting consequences it will have on Carl. Also, I'm always a sucker for any opportunity to show what an absolute badass Savior!Carl is. Obviously he's 18, so he's not a brutal killing machine nor does he have the physical strength for it. But he's like Carol in the show (or at least before they absolutely butchered her personality and story arc in seasons 9+): shrewd and quick on his feet.

I also knew the Claimers would be the perfect characters to introduce a line-up. You can't write an apocalypse Negan story without a line-up, and I knew this would be a good opportunity to have Carl do the line-up with Negan, for him be on the side of the attackers for once, the hunter and not the prey. Back when I wrote part 1 in 2021, a lot of Cegan fics were variations of the line-up episode: some were about how Carl and Negan already knew each other from before and got reunited when Negan lines up Carl's group, other fics were about Carl working with Negan and being the one who put Rick and his ground on their knees in the clearing (I think I even read a few where Carl and Rick had been separated and this was how they reunited). This is to say that the line-up is a big and powerful moment in the Cegan fandom so I knew I had to include one. However, I also knew I didn't want Carl wielding Lucille in this one. Carl had already done that when he killed Shane and I really wanted to preserve the singularity of this moment, which would have been somewhat trivialized if Negan just started handing Carl his bat to kill people with left and right. So instead, I went with the screwdriver.

For the life of me, I can't remember where I got the screwdriver idea from. I definitely think it's from a TV series or movie of some kind, but I can't tell which. However, I can tell you that any time Carl is being a badass in the Savior!AU, it is one way or another inspired by Marvel's The Punisher, which I re-watched obsessively to get inspiration for Shane in the Savior!AU (and I am so excited that Frank Castle is back in Daredevil:Born again!!)

Okay, now that I'm done babbling, let's get into the chapter:

Carl dreams about the first night they spent in Alexandria, all of them huddled together in the living room of one house, not wanting to be split up, so suspicious they took turn to keep watch, every single door and window barricaded. They were all wary after Terminus, and this fairytale town seemed too good to be true, everyone a bit too quick to welcome them with open arms. They didn’t sleep, just dozed off in turn, jerking awake before they could start falling into dreams.

This flashback was directly taken from the series, when Rick & co arrive in Alexandria. Deanna gives them two houses but they all pile up in the one house that first night and sleep together in the living room while some of them keep watch. There's this delightful moment after, when Deanna comes to check on them in the morning and finds them all huddled together like a pack of feral dogs and is just awed.

It happened several times during the night, too many for Carl to count, but every time exactly the same. Shane would jerk awake and look at Lori, look at Carl, and look at the door. Again and again. Lori, Carl, the door. A holy trinity. Lori, Carl, the door.

Little moments like that are so important to me because, yes, Shane was a grade-A abusive asshole, but his abuse was rarely gratuitous. 90% of the time, Shane's actions were fuelled by his need to protect Carl and keep him alive. Shane only let go of Carl after Carl lost the eye and even that stemmed from Shane's honest belief that Carl would be safe inside the walls of Sanctuary, that Negan would feel indebted enough to Carl to keep him as a worker of some sort and keep him protected inside the factory. Shane weighed Carl's options and found Carl would never make it out in the wild with him, so he just left Carl on Negan's doorstep the way people will abandon a dog in front of a pet shelter. Like, yes, it's a shitty thing to do, but it's still better than leaving them in a dumpster.

Everyone is so focused on her, no one pays attention to him. He makes his way into an empty space toward the back and Carl thinks he is out of the woods when Negan suddenly looks up, and his gaze hones in on him like a missile. Carl’s breath catches in his throat. Negan inspects him for a second before smiling slyly, like they’re sharing a dirty secret. The motions of his gloved fingers on the bat turn intentional, long up and down strokes along the smooth handle that make Carl’s stomach squirm. He knows, Carl thinks with horror. Somehow, he knows. The tip of Negan’s pink tongue darts out to wet his lower lip, his eyes dark and seductive, before he shifts his attention away from Carl and back to Regina.

I love, love, LOVE those little moments when Carl and Negan look at each other and the rest of the world disappears. There are so many moments like that in the Savior!AU and, in most of them, they don't even talk to each other, just exchange a glance, and yet there's a whole conversation happening, a conversation that only they know, and everyone else either doesn't notice or is left confused by it. These two are so connected, they (almost) always know what the other is thinking.

“You were late,” Negan reprimands. “I’m sorry,” Carl apologizes immediately, hoping he’ll just get an earful and maybe thrown into a cell as punishment. Instead, Negan grins from ear to ear. “I bet. Long night? I take it you enjoyed my gift? Put it to good use? Maybe you need another bottle already?” Carl’s cheeks turn crimson and he keeps his eye down on the concrete floor, hoping that a show of deference will appease Negan, make him so bored he’ll put him aside in favor of another chewtoy. Of course, it’s never that easy. Things go from bad to worse when Negan presses the blunt head of the bat to Carl’s chest, forcing him to step backward until he hits the door. Carl grits his teeth and he drops his mask of subservience, fed up with being herded and cornered like a sheep for the second time in two days. His glare adds fuel to the fire of Negan’s amusement and the man leans forward, his hand pushing until the hard weight of Lucille presses painfully against Carl’s sternum, squeezing the breath out of his lungs.

One thing I completely forgot and that I'm now rediscovering during this re-read is how often Negan touches Carl with Lucille. I remembered all the times Negan used her to touch Carl's shoulder in part 1, but I forgot how much Negan uses the bat to push Carl around in part 2 (and later part 3). It goes without saying that the bat is phallic symbol 101 so do with that what you will.

"But guys like Pete?” Shane chuckles, and there is nothing nice about it. “They’re vicious. They’ll beat up their own kids just because it makes them feel like a man and then they’ll go around and pretend they’re God’s damn gifts to the world. So if he comes to you again, you run to me. You don’t fight, you don’t stop, you don’t go to Glenn, or Maggie, or Abraham. You come to me, alright? I’ll deal with that piece of shit for you. Got it?” Carl looks at where Ron and Sam are arguing next to their dad, a perfectly normal family. The kind his parents always wanted them to be, trying so hard to pretend that everything was fine even when they spent entire evenings locked in a screaming match, until his dad inevitably gave up and walked out the door for a drive, leaving Carl alone with a frustrated mother. Then, the next morning, they would all gather around the breakfast table and eat the awful pancakes that Lori made them, chuckling quietly when his dad would ask who wanted the last piece, more floury lumps and pieces of eggshells than cooked batter. That’s what families in the old world used to do. Pretend. Pretend to be happy and satisfied and normal. It wasn’t an act aimed at other people, to make them lower their guard and put down their weapons, like the Cannibals at Terminus pretended. It was an act designed for the family itself, to fake happiness and contentment and normalcy, in the hope it would eventually turn into a reality. But in Alexandria, just like at Terminus, Shane could sniff out the bullshit quicker than anyone else. “Got it,” Carl answers.

That flashback is very dear to me for several reasons. 1. It shows that Shane wasn't always delusional. In fact, he was often more clear-sighted than most people around. 2. It's a reminder that things in Alexandria weren't rosy before Shane & co showed up, and that they still aren't now that Negan is in charge (Spencer, your days are numbered, buddy). 3. It's another instance of Shane being fiercely protective of Carl. If the Claimers had happened on Shane's watch, you can bet that he would have pulled a Rick and chewed out Joe's jugular as well, no questions asked. 4. Even when Shane is protective, he's also deeply possessive, telling Carl to go to no one but him, because protecting Carl is his job, because Carl is his. This, of course, is especially important to understand why Carl is so deeply attracted to Negan. After his mom died, Carl's only source of parental love came from Shane, who was defined by possessiveness as much as protectiveness. For 4 long years, this is what Carl has come to understand as love and affection. And of course, because fate works nicely like that, it's exactly the same way that Negan expresses his own love and affection: through protectiveness and possessiveness.

“I feel bad for what happened to that Savior girl,” Eduardo says at one point, interrupting Davey’s frustrated monologue about Richie’s choice of music. Behind the wheel, Davey scoffs. “You ever met Lara Lee? She would have shanked her own mother for a fix.” Eduardo shakes his head. “Still, man. She didn’t deserve to die like this.” Then, more quietly to Carl, “My cousin got gangraped. Before. Some white college douchebags at a party spiked her drink, even filmed it. That video went through the whole school. It was sick.” In the rearview mirror, Davey rolls his eyes. “Your cousin said she was raped. Girls always say that when they get found out. They go to parties and get frisky with the guys, shaking their little ass at them and then they change their mind when people start calling them sluts. Am I right?” he asks Big Richie next to him. The Savior shrugs, uninterested in the whole thing. Eduardo frowns. “Negan’s right. Rape’s fucked up. We can’t call ourselves Saviors if we let it happen.” “Give me a fuckin’ break. Negan’s only saying that because he’s got all the pussy he wants. If the wives weren’t lining up to be his private buffet, he’d be singing a different tune, let me tell you that. Same goes for you, by the way,” Davey mutters, his eyes narrowing at Eduardo in the mirror. “You think we don’t know how you’ve fucked half the lady workers on the floor? Is that why you always take their side? So they’ll keep serving you their pussy on a silver platter?”

Can you tell that Creepey Davey is a creep even in part 2? Also, RIP Eduardo, you were a nice cinnamon roll and you didn't stand a chance in the apocalypse. Also RIP DJ, I still don't know why I killed you off when you lasted so long in the series (if I remember correctly, DJ is one of the few Saviors we see fully integrated in Alexandria after the war, like Laura).

Obviously I'm not going to quote the whole Claimers attack, but I'll just say that this was the first Shane hallucination and it will not be the last. In fact, I always planned on Shane haunting Carl, and the Claimers episode felt like a natural beginning for that. A friend said in the comments of this chapter that Shane has his claws in Carl even after being dead, but this time it was for good, because it's what allowed Carl to escape the Claimers. This is 100% right. To me, the Savior!AU is as much about Carl & Shane as it is about Cegan. Shane is not going anywhere, whether it's in flashbacks or adrenaline-fueled hallucinations.

In front of him, Dwight whistles, and a girl he recognizes as part of Regina’s team hands him a walkie. “It’s Dwight,” the Savior says. “No sign of them but we found the kid, about two miles north from B point.” A voice crackles on the other end, and Carl freezes when he recognizes Negan, his tone unusually flat through the speaker. “Is he dead?” Carl finally puts the bottle down, wiping his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt. The dirty fabric comes out red from Eduardo’s dried blood still on him. “No. He’s alive and well. Doesn’t even have a scratch on him,” Dwight answers with a shake of his head, slightly awed. No response comes back, and the both of them wait expectantly. After more seconds of worrying silence, the blond Savior frowns down at the walkie. “You copy?” Static buzzes. “Yeah,” Negan finally says. “Tell your team to keep looking but bring the kid home. I want to hear what happened.”

I debated a lot on how to make this scene happen. In the end, I went with complete silence on Negan's part because I felt like it would be the best way to subtly say a lot while saying nothing at all. This conversation on the walkie was of course a direct echo in the series to when Rick tells Negan that Carl is dead over the walkie. Negan's silence, his closed eyes and deep sigh, conveyed a lot while at the same time being extremely subtle. Same went for when Michonne read him Carl's letter over the walkie. JDM, the actor that you are <3

They drive in silence, and Carl doesn’t mean to fall asleep, but he just does. He drifts off without even realizing it, his head tilted against the window, warmed by the comforting rays of the sun and lulled by the roaring engine of the car. He jerks awake when the door suddenly opens. It takes him a second to figure out what’s happening, to recognize the moans of the walkers on the fence, the smell of metal and rotting flesh of the parking lot. He’s home. A pair of legs topped by a familiar belt buckle stops right in front of him and Carl blinks back against the blinding sun, suddenly high in the sky when it seemed to be morning only a few minutes ago. When he can finally see clearly, he finds himself face to face with Negan, bent down to peer at him in the passenger seat. He looks tired and angry, the circles under his eyes deeper than Carl remembers. But then their eyes meet, and the frown over his brow clears up as his lips stretch into a slow, slow smile. Negan laughs, a rough, warm sound. “God damn, kid. God damn.”

Another scene where I debated on how to make it happen and ended up settling on minimal words from Negan. Instead, it felt more right to give subtle signals of what this must have been like for Negan to think Carl was dead: the dark circles under his eyes showing he hadn't slept, his angry temper that clears when he finally sees Carl... When the Negan pov is ready to post in some more or less distant future, I'm really excited to share what this event was like on Negan's end, spending a whole night grappling with guilt over the fact that he likely sent Carl to his death.

Okay so I was trying to find a short passage to quote from the infirmary scene when Negan discovers what happened to Carl, but I just can't decide on a few lines so, to avoid copy/pasting everything, I just won't quote anything. BUT it was definitely so fun to write. Negan knows Carl better than anyone so he can tell that something happened that Carl isn't admitting to. He's frustrated by Carl's silence but at the same time he wants to be gentle so he has to refrain from just grabbing Carl by the ankles and shaking him upside-down until the truth falls out. He plays a guessing game until he finally gets it, and when he does, he has to physically restrain himself from going berserk and instead put Carl's medical care first. I love those moments when several emotions are battling inside of Negan at once: his rage, his heart, his reason, his needs, his duties... He's a complex character and far less impulsive than people might assume.

Same thing for the line-up episode, I'm not going to quote everything, but I'll just say that when Carl has to inflict violence, Shane always appears, because Shane will always be the embodiment of violence for Carl. He's the one who taught Carl to fight and be angry, he's the one who created Carl's violent tendencies and encouraged them to flow. Carl isn't a showman like Negan. He doesn't hurt people to teach them a lesson. When he hurts someone, it's either for survival or payback, nothing else.

Also, can we talk about @besosderuina's amazing fanarts of Shane and Dan???? Forever in love with their fanarts for the Savior!AU <3

Finally, he turns toward Carl and says, “Look, I know you and I had that moment in the parking lot before… And I just wanted to make clear that… well, that…” He fumbles for a moment, then seems to give up. “Holy hell, I’m not good at this touchy-feely shit,” he grumbles. “I’m sorry, is what I’m trying to say.” And it’s the first time that Carl has ever seen Negan apologize, to him or to anyone. “I thought I was helping you back then, being all sex-positive and shit. But after what those scumbags did…” His face scrunches up, like he just smelled something foul. “It was just really, really shitty timing.” “…Okay,” Carl says when Negan gets quiet and looks at him expectantly. He wonders if this is it, if Negan came all this way to apologize, but he doesn’t seem to be done. “I want to make one thing crystal clear: no one gets to touch you like that. Not them, not me, not anyone. And what you do—or don’t do—on your own free time is no one else’s business but yours. I screwed up, before. I crossed a line. And, Carl, I need you to tell me the next time that happens,” Negan pleads urgently, stepping forward before stopping himself, like Carl might get spooked if he gets too close. “Look, I know who I am. What I am. I’m the kind of guy who can waste people all the goddamn day. I’ll bash their heads in, iron their face off, make their wives and kids widows and orphans, but I don’t just do it for the kick of it. I’m trying to make order out of chaos. I’m bringing civilization back from the ashes and that means getting my hands dirty and scaring the living shit out of people so they follow the rules. Same thing goes for you and the rest of my Saviors. I’ll throw you in a cell and let the guys beat a lesson into you once in a while. Hell, I might even fantasize about having a go at you myself,” Negan says with a wry smile. Then, he sobers up, his eyes grave and steely once again. “But that’s it. I’ll never touch you below the belt like those assholes did. Whatever next rebellious little act you pull out of your hat, no matter how absolutely insane you drive me when you refuse to obey, that will never be part of the punishment. You hear me?” Carl nods, mystified. Negan opens his mouth like he’s about to say something else, but then bites his lower lip. He sighs and lets himself drop on Carl’s bed, his elbows on his knees, his leather jacket half-open like a crack in the armor. He looks exhausted, nothing like the excited showman of last night, making knock-knock jokes as he bashed in the heads of the Claimers with effervescent brutality. “Carl,” he sighs again, “I know you were all traumatized yesterday and that’s why you couldn’t talk to me… But I’m goddamn serious here. I need to know if anything like that ever happens again, especially in Sanctuary. I had a couple of guys a few years back who thought they could force workers to give them blowjobs in exchange for points, and I straightened that shit out the second I heard about it. So, if anyone tries something with you—or if you even see it happening to someone else—you come to me directly. I’ll take care of those dickheads for you. You understand?”

My favorite line here is the simile of the open leather jacket being "a crack in the armor". My second favorite line is me shooting myself in the foot by making Negan say he will never use sex as a punishment and then having Negan use sex as a punishment several times in part 3 (just off the top of my head: the failed blowjob, the sex against the door after the inhaler drama, the failed masturbation in the cell, the dick in the eye scene...). I'm a clown. *sad honking noise*

Conclusion; tldr: The Claimers never stood a chance against Negan. Carl is a badass. Negan doesn't know he's in a throuple relationship with Shane's ghost. Rick & co will appear in part 4 once I figure out how to make it happen. If TWD writers can handwave the plot away then so can I.

You can find the commentary for part 2, chapter 6 here.

[catboybiologist]

Imma make an observation that literally is just an observation for its own sake, but it's gonna def be borderline toxic and self deprecating. I genuinely only want the observation part about it, and I'm really not being hard on myself or the community here, but if that distinguishment is gonna be hard for you just be warned.

Cool? Cool. Unfocused ramble under the cut.

Now that I've face revealed, I'm kinda curious observing from the sidelines the reactions that people aren't saying. Obvs I'm not a popular enough person to be like "WOAGH SISJDJDJ OMG ITS A FACE REVEAL" but I'm more talking about the general psychology of passing itself now that I show my full face vs when I hid it.

With that tiny scrap of markup covering my nose, chin, and mouth, I had people ENDLESSLY telling me that there's NO WAY I don't pass. OBVIOUSLY whatever I was hiding was the absolute PINNACLE of femininity. My ask box was literally fucking filled with those comments to the point it was obnoxious- "why do you hide your face you're so pretty" or something like it, DMed and anoned to me over. And over. And over again.

I've really only shown my face in "perfect angle" pictures now, and even then it's obvious that I don't pass. Likely, my face looks nothing like what most people imagined. I got this from a lot of people I showed my face to in discord as well- you'd be hard pressed to say that I fully pass now. Best you could do is probably "yeah you look femme but def clocky to the right eye", and I get a lot of "pretty but clocky" type "compliments" from people.

Don't get me wrong, this isn't a "woe is me I'll never pass I'm horrific" post. Now this is Tumblr, and the core group of trans people that I love interacting with largely don't care, or even find the clockiness hot. I'm also gaining confidence in the twinkhon vibes myself, while also knowing that I still have a LONG way to go on HRT, and whatever my face looks like now, it'll be way different in the years and months to come. In the end, passing or not, I don't care. And obviously, that's not a binary thing, blah blah, insert all the passing discourse here. That's not what this post is about.

What it IS about is how far the perception of my face drifted from people's actual assessment of it when I face revealed. When I had the clockiest features of my face hidden, there was an intrinsic assumption that they were more femme than they actually were.

I've also gotten slightly less interaction on my selfies in general (aside from the initial face reveal) but that could just be a byproduct of my reduced activity on Tumblr overall from road tripping. I'll have to see what it's like in the future, but I highly suspect that a large number of lower interaction people now view me as less attractive. I'm not saying they're avoiding me in disgust, I'm saying that when their was a gap in their perception, their brains autofilled a more attractive image than actually existed. This doesn't apply to my core group of moots that are high interaction and comment n stuff (love y'all) but the large scores of people who leave simple tags or reblog and like in passing- I think I just got less attractive in people's minds.

What does all of this say? Honestly it's hard to say. This is more observation than anything else. It might be linked to beauty standards, or just a bias of "unga bunga skinny white woman with conventionally attractive body must have conventionally attractive face" which turned out not to be true, or whatever.

Again, just a weird ramble. Bug summary is that people, on average, assumed I passed before I showed my full face, and now, far less do.

Oh yeah, and inb4 "and omg you actually pass though"- this post isn't for you. There's lots of people who see me and think that I don't, including in Tumblr. Passing varies on a person to person basis, and what I'm saying here is that face revealing flicked a switch in many, but not all, people's brains from passing to non-passing.

[velvetvexations]

I don't wish to hide behind a Native friend in voicing my opinions on the matter, but I asked said friend, Trickster Kisses, for permission to quote him so I can give context for why I have the stance that I do.

Here's him explaining it to me for the first time a few years ago:

Here's his tags on that post I reblogged yesterday:

Here's a post he made shortly thereafter:

And from a conversation we had last night:

Doubtlessly some Algonquin people disagree, but I've seen multiple say the controversy is silly, and like. Yeah. Saying "wendigo" is not going to summon evil spirits to possess you and turn you into a cannibal, it was a metaphor for greed. Natives are generally aware that the world doesn't work on Beetlejuice rules. Even if a few may insist on it, others find it deeply condescending to be treated like village peasants who cross themselves and warn the smirking white protagonist about the forest being filled with goblins and ghouls, except without the part where they turn out to be right because these things aren't real.

And it's different from creating images of Mahoumed, because (a) that's about respecting the single most important figure in the Koran short of Allah Himself, not being in fear of one particular mythical creature that got it's name popular with white people, and (b) non-Muslims depicting Mahoumed is literally only ever done purely to spite Muslims.

I even feel, as my friend does, that the necessary accuracy point is debatable, as other cultural beliefs include vampires, elves, and the Greek gods, and those are often distorted far beyond what the people that did or do believe in them would recognize, but in that I'm willing to concede more than my friend and say, yeah, getting something right and not just going with the pop cultural flow is almost literally the least you can do for a still very vulnerable and hurting group that's been done repeated catastrophic damage by your own group. You should, in fact, in my white opinion, just name your deer monster something else, and in that I "disagree" (it's more like a deferring perspective) with Trickster Kisses whose stance is much more relaxed.*

And I think if it were just "name your deer monster something else, be accurate if you actually use the wendigo name" a lot more people would be on board, that was the position of the Algonquin person on that post yesterday, but white people going all "stop it Patrick you're scaring him!" about it is really weird at best.

*from having asked about engaging with the wendigo in my own writing, a sequel to a story by Algernon Blackwood which got it very wrong:

Depends honestly, if you're not worried about backlash you can honestly just be like, whatever, sometimes vampires sparkle, it'd be cool to see more from the original myths but then you have to get into 'okay but like, which tribe's myths' ngl follow your heart in that regard, I personally consider all of them solid & acceptable

my own decision was to take it in a somewhat meta direction and directly address the fact that the Blackwood story was inaccurate

Okay, so like. This is the ask that prompted me to go to Trickster Kisses and ask him for permission to quote him, and in particular I asked if he could give a response to you specifically.

Listen. Anon. I truly did not expect him to be so angry. Like, I'm not kidding, I sincerely feel bad for you right now. This tongue-lashing is not coming from me. All I can tell you is that this is how an Algonquian person feels about it:

@gromlyn

Trickster Kisses, again four years ago:

[starfall-dream]

reupload from my main blog

Here's my original post on the main three, but this post will be expanding on it more. Feel free to send in any ideas you have surrounding the au.

Also, I've gotten some asks regarding Tav in the au, and while I'm not interested in including tav, I want to know your thoughts on Durge and how the interact with reader, so please send those in.

Kethric (platonic yandere):

Kethric is really fascinating to me because, unlike the other two who I think are driven by the idea power in relation to you, Kethric is driven by the past. He regrets not protecting Isobel, he regrets a lot of his past.

I think when he meets you in moonrise it's not a immediate "omg you're a image of my daughter who died and now hates me", it's more of a "wow this human is very clearly out of their depth, why are they leading this group of idiots?" It's more of a strange facination rather than an immediate connection. I don't even think he gets people to watch you and your group of ruffians, he just kinda keeps watch of you through word of mouth.

How, as mentioned here, his obsession does grow the more he views you asa a surrogate child. He sees how weak you are, how hopeless, but despite that all you still put on a brave face. It's almost commendable in a way, you're smart and courageous but also a mess. It reminds him of Isobel when she was a child, so full of wonder and awe, but weak and dependent on him. He craves that, someone depending on him, and he starts to want that from you.

As time goes on, your companions recognize Kethrics less than normal behavior, and plan on using you as bait to infiltrate moonrise. You're apprehensive at first, but you come to realize that Kethric poses no harm to you, and by extension neither does anyone in moonrise. Kethric revels in the attention you provide him, of course, not really knowing that you're playing into these feelings for your own gain. He places you in Isobel's old room, attempting to be as gentle as possible with you, trying to mimic the his past with his daughter.

He doesn't see you as Isobel, he sees you as another child, a redo. You're a chance to right his wrongs, and maybe at some point you warm up to him, you smile to him as he recounts you stories of his past, you laugh with him, giving him a rare moment of peace.

But of course, all good things come to an end, and eventually you're rescued by your companions, your wrapped away from him, and all the warmth and welcome he felt is gone, and he's forced to acknowledge the fact of the matter. You don't belong here, in Moonrise with him and Faerun as a whole. You're lost, and maybe, his death will serve as a way of you finding your way home.

Gortash (Platonic or Romantic, you decide):

I view Gortash as a mixture of Kethric and Orin. He's sadistic and mean, but also understanding and protective. He doesn't care for you and your companions circumstances, he has a goal and he will do everything in his power to achieve that goal. And I think, at least in the beginning, he views you as a way of achieving that goal.

You make a deal with Gortash, though in reality he doesn't plan on keeping strong on that deal, he views it more as a test of strength, a test of will. Are you as strong and powerful and your companions claim, or are you ultimately just a fable. It's fascinating really, watching you through his Steel Watchers, struggling and tired. He sees that you are drained, and he's willing to abuse that. He'll twist every little last drop of determination out of you until you can no longer fight.

The moment when Gortash's feelings change is when he realizes your position. You're from another world, whatever that means, but it makes sense. You did not exist before this very moment, there was not a trace of you before now. You seem clueless about this world, bumbling about like a child. So you're either insane or you're telling the truth, and a part of him wants to consider it.

A part of him, small but present, recognizes a piece of himself in you. You're terrified, fighting to survive, working with anyone who will help you. You're alone in this world, just like he him, and a part of him sympathizes with you. However, a large part of him sees your potential.

If you just had more drive, more strive, you could be something powerful, achieve something great, and you could do that with him. You and him together could achieve great things, and maybe if you just had the motivation, his ideas could become a reality.

Gortash hates the more sympathetic side of himself, because it's weakness, and to an extension you are a weakness. You represent a part of himself before he became strong and great and powerful, and he's constantly teetering on the edge of wanting to foster those peaceful ideals within you, and fill you with a power that rivals his own.

Orin (Platonic or Romantic, you decide):

Orin is the definition of sadistic, and most, if not all her thoughts about you are defined by that. She hates any sort of peaceful feeling she has about you, like Gortash she views it as weakness.

I think a lot of the way she feels about you would depend on Durge and how they view you, but since you're taking on the role of Tav, it's most likely that Durge is dead, but I'm just putting the idea on the table.

I like the idea of Orin idealizing her relationship with you. If she's romantic, she views all her crazy and violent actions towards you as the ultimate sign of love. She kills in your name, not understanding why you hate her declarations. Orin is insane, so in a romantic and platonic relationship, she'll switch between loving you and hating every aspect of you.

In a platonic relationship, she'll view you as an extension of her, a protege as sorts. It doesn't matter really what you want, if you agree to this or not, she can sense the strength within you, and that she has the ability to foster it. She'll try and get you to see the strength Bhaal, even if your a brick wall when it comes to it.

I think Orin wants companionship, despite what you might believe. She wants to relate to somebody, she wants someone to relate to her. It's pathetic, she knows, but you're a blank slate, so it's easy to plant ideas into your head in hopes that they sprout.

---

A/n: Please talk about bg3 with me, also sorry for the spelling errors.

[letstrythisout4]

um hi again. ok I really, really really loved your Blaise head canon. the girl dad one.

If you couldn't tell already, I freaking love Blaise, so I was wondering if you were still taking requests and if you are would you consider doing like a head canon thingy or like something about Blaise in different parts of his daughter's life like

When she's born

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When she's a toddler

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When she's in her tween age

---------------------------------

When she's in her teenage age (13-17)

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When she's old enough to move out and she's like a pre adult (18-20)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

etc.

you can add and remove anything if you'd like, plz dont feel pressured if you want to. and plz dont feel pressured to do it if you dont want to, I just really love your writing and you're one of my fav writers here sooo.

Anyways love you

bye

♡ ♥💕❤

authors note: i am so flatttered, here you go babes, love you too, if anyone has anymore requests or ideas lemme know

When she’s born:

I imagine Blaise to be one of those dads who like won’t do anything to risk missing their baby's birth

Like Draco and Theo invite him out for a drink and hes like “but what if something happens while i'm out” “mate she's not due for a month” “yeah but what if”

The moment she is born he has her in his arms, he’s very reluctant to let go when the healers ask for her back so that they can check to make sure nothings wrong but he relents (he hovers over the healers as they perform their diagnostic spells)

He will not let her out of his sight- at all

The only babysitters he allows is his mother, narcissa and lucius

Draco and theo (being good friends) offer to babysit as well but Blaise refuses

Not because Blaise doesn't trust them, but what if something happens and they don't know how to handle it because they are not parents themselves.

No no if blaise can’t be there himself to watch his baby (this rarely ever happens) his mother, narcissa and lucius can take care of her

Though he does not-so-subtle train draco and theo; his friends understand his concern but how are they supposed to be the cool uncles if they never take care of her

Theo is the baby’s godfather and he takes his job so fucking seriously

Like theo reads almost as many books as blaise on how to be a parent 

I imagine blaise to be the one to “take one for the team” and have the first baby from the friend group 

They friend group being blaise, draco, theo, daphne and pansy

Takes a village to raise a child, right?

Well those four are his village

I also imagine blaise was rather young when his daughter was born like early twenties young

Meanwhile his friends start having kids in their thirties maybe late twenties but definitely not as young as blaise did

Painted and built his baby’s nursery all by hand with his village “i could have finished this hours ago with a flick of my wand” “shut up and keep painting, pans”

The first few months with the baby is just everyone basically living in Zabini manor

While blaise won't leave them alone with his baby, his friends are more than welcome to play and feed and spoil her (within his eyesight)

When shes a toddler:

Reads to her every night

“Daddy can i have this plush” *holds up a plush bigger than her* “of course baby”

By the time she is four her babysitters have expanded to include her uncles and aunties

Blaise only allows this expansion because now she is verbal enough to report back what happened while he was gone

Makes his mother sit down and teach him how to braid his daughters hair

His daughter is one of those little black girls that have beads in their hair, she likes the noise they make when she walks

Does hours and hours of research into finding a safe, educational muggle pre-k for her to attend

Absolutely breaks his heart to drop her off for her first day, her book bag is as big and she insisted on adding her favorite bow to her ponytail, he watched as she sat with the other kids paying no attention to the reassurances the teacher was giving

He was the first person at pick up and stood anxiously outside the classroom, eager to have his baby back, it was the first time he ever left her alone with someone outside of his family

The door opened and his daughter rushed into his arms, rambling about the friends she made and the picture she drew of him and her

When she was very young blaise would say, “its okay, accidents happen” to which she now repeats whenever someone makes a mistake

Theo despite his growing emotional maturity refuse to admit that he cried the first time she said it to him

He likes to take her to watch muggle films and buying her dolls of the characters (she has the entire disney line up)

He will play pretend with her and is a professional pirate, ghost, king, prince, wizard (ironically) and dragon

Every year she decides how she wishes to spend her birthday but along with whatever she picks the entire village will come to have dinner at the zabini manor and shower her in gifts

Tween 

Blaise enrolls her in muggle primary school so that she has some social skills pre-hogwarts but has also been having her tutored by the best tutors possible since she could talk in various forms of magic

Blaise limits her involvement in pureblood balls and parties as much as possible; she is involved enough that everyone has seen her and knows that the Zabini family has an heir, but not enough that she can be spotted in a crowd

Has to have the tough conversation of the expectations and potential dangers that are going to be placed on her as a POC, girl, heiress to a wizarding family, descendant of a known slytherin family etc; 

Has to explain what the wizarding wars were like from their families perspective and how that compares to non-Slytherins perspective

(honestly half the reason why he sent her to muggle school was so that she could build up some tough skin before going to hogwarts)

Blaise knew that in the upcoming years he wasn't going to be spending nearly as much time with her as he was used to and decided to take full advantage of the time he did have

The two sat down when she was ten and begun to list out places the wished to visit across the globe, once they were done Blaise rolled up the parchment and got to work planning out the twos next several vacations

The summer before her first year was spent traveling all across India learning about the country's extensive history, several different languages, meals, etiquette, magical practices etc.

The two came back the week before hogwarts and Blaise had to stop himself from looking miserable as September 1st arrived and he and his family stood on platform 9 ¾ saying their goodbyes 

 Blaise did in fact cry silently as he hugged and smiled at his daughter before helping her onto the train

 Tween while in hogwarts:

Constantly sends her gift baskets

The two have magically bound journals where the write to each other at least once a week 

Goes insane decorating the manor for yule (even more so than usual)

Is determined to be the cool dad, and allows her to invite her friends over for the holidays

Teenager

Will sit in his daughters room for hours listening to her rant about whatever she wants because he refuses to be a father who doesn't know his child and no amount of time at hogwarts is going to change that

His house is the hangout spot

Partially because he likes to be the cool dad that her friends know they can rely on; partially because he doesn’t trust adults to look out for his daughter

He knows that teenagers will get up to shenanigans and he's willing to let her go out and adventure in both the muggle and magical world; he trusts her to be responsible

In the summer before her fifth year, she came up to him confidently asking if she could go to a party at her friends house

He agreed, giving her a curfew of 10:30pm

And then invited his own friends over the evening of the party to ensure that he didn’t lose his mind waiting for her

He was a teenager, he remembers the parties that he and his friends threw, he knows what goes on in the Slytherin common room, he even knows that this isn't the first party she's been to (it was basically tradition to throw massive “secret” parties every time slytherin won…literally anything)

He still worries

He's a dad, it's his job

And he tells his daughter as much when she floos home at 10:30pm exactly (she comfortable with her dad but shes not stupid, shes not breaking curfew) to find her dad, and uncles lounging around in the living room; clearly waiting for her

His daughters teenage years can essentially be understood as him slowly letting her go, because he always knew she’d grow up and that he’d have to let but damn was it hard

Young adult

His daughter had made the decision to continue studying herbology and potions after hogwarts, she had found a mentor in Ghana who was a well known healer who was willing to take her in

Blaise spent the summer of his daughters sixth and seventh year in Ghana, familiarizing themselves with the nation and the healers that she was going to be working with

The entire village came together to help her move and Blaise was not the only one to cry this time

As she gets older they continue to spend the holidays together but instead of traveling the world she urges her father to stay in the manor and solves puzzles and play exploding snap like when she was young

They still write each other frequently and visit each other at least four times a year but now when he looks at her, a brilliant adult with a plan for what lies ahead, he feels comfortable enough to walk away for the first time ever

[teddybearsandspaceships]

Some random notes from yesterday's (25/05/2024) Scar stream. Not even all of the best parts because there were so many, at one point I was just laughing out loud pretty much continuously.

A chatter mentions Scar being the "mob boss." Scar is immediately delighted. In the shopping district he won't be the zoo keeper, he'll be the mob boss with his own outfit etc.

Scar built the nether portal for his train (it looks super cool!) and is now transporting skeletons to the nether so they shoot anyone approaching it because he wants to discourage people from using his nether portal. He put his own heads on the skeletons and calls them "Scar Junior." Only one of them dies.

Doc shows up for distraction and support. He teaches Scar things about redstone, like how you can place a lever on the block next to a rail to activate it. They complain about the new YouTube layout, Doc blames Elon Musk, who according to Scar lives in Doc's head rent-free 28 hours a day.

"just because you look like a taxi driver in Indiana Jones doesn't make you less evil"

Ren shows up too. Doc and Ren start to complain about shipping. Scar tells them a heartwarming story about his local UPS guy.

apparently Doc was a wandering trader in the woods as a kid. He traded home-cooked German food to American soldiers from a nearby base. For ammunition.

Next topic: the "worst" (unrestricted) fireworks. At some point Doc does an exaggerated German accent. Doc also made a joke about Scar being 48, Scar says he prefers the rumors about him being smart and handsome, Doc says that's just the truth.

Scar and Doc getting trolled by horns, including Cub shouting "help" which they both thought was real for a second. Chat suspects "horn man" is Grian, but it's such a huge variety I'm pretty sure it has to be Cub. Finally Cub shows up (briefly)

After all the skeletons were moved Scar wants to add a drowned. He got the go-ahead from Etho to take one from his farm. Scar blocks off Etho's portal and Doc wonders what he's getting dragged into, calls himself an Ethogirl once again

unfortunate realization: a drowned will not attack people with tridents in the nether because there's neither water nor night time. But then chat did experiments and they say it should work? Spoiler: it works very well.

the first trident guy refused to put anything on his head, but the second one put on Scar's hat \o/ so he can even move during the day. It becomes night though, Scar asked people in chat to sleep and Bdubs logs on ^^ a few seconds too late though, Ren slept first.

Oh noo, the trident guy hit a free-ranging iron golem and was killed. Bdubs joins the group just to say it serves them right. Bdubs is telling on them to Etho.

Doc refuses to mess with Etho's landscaping. Bdubs makes a walkway but very carefully. Scar, head in hands, this is what it's like with Etho fangirls… next Minecon, Scar says he'll print Bdubs a shirt with Etho's face on it. Bdubs says Scar is the one obsessed with him, coming over all the time.

Scar talking about a Hermitcraft rule called the "open seas rule", if something is built on the ocean it's free for taking. (Bdubs is skeptical)

Bdubs says dealing with Etho is like dealing with a rabbit. Don't pester it, you just have to leave it and it'll come to you. "How many moms does Etho have on this server." "This is what it's like having a friend." "Oh I wouldn't know" xD "We're friends not moms"

Doc complains about how hungry he is. It's late and he really wants to eat his mini pizza. Scar: why don't you just get a feeding tube, then you don't have to eat.

Bdubs: "I'm just taking notes for Etho later." Scar: "this is just Limited Life the whole time." "Every second is a second closer to Etho logging on and catching you guys"

Scar is now shifting the blame for their misfortunes to Tango because he never offered help or even made jokes in chat. Threatens to throw him out of the LNC, even ^^

"Ooh, you're not trapping Etho's portal!" "No, it's his own" "Oh there's no reason for me to be here then." Bdubs logs out immediately, then…

NOW Etho logs in xD "Etho's here, he's gonna come over here and cause an issue." "What's this about trapping my portal?", and other quotes such as, "I'm watching what you're doing Scar and it's infuriating me." "Put some water down" ("It's the nether!"), telling Bdubs he should have let his iron golem die instead of healing it, and "What you're building a rollercoaster over here, what is this"

"How do we do this, Doc?" "I don't know, give Etho some blocks and let him do it" "No no, I came for the show" Doc is just standing there with two dozen tridents in the ground in front of him xD

"You're like the muppets, those two older ones" - Doc about Ethubs. "We're the comic relief" "Yeah that's it"

Etho is concerned, they're representing Hermitcraft after all, people will think they're incompetent. Etho: "Tango, what do you think?" "Oh god don't tell me Tango's here." Tango is now here :D

Scar: "just to be clear, I am competent, things just didn't go to plan…"

Scar is in protest to both the nether and their nether hub. Etho: "If only we had a couple people around here often referred to as the best builders ever…"

Etho, contemplating the skeletons and trident guy: "So what are you going to do if Cub comes by with his Thorns armor?" Scar hides his head in his hands.

aww, Bdubs and Tango telling Scar LNC will help him with that mountain ^^

Doc finally logs out. Spoiler: he got his mini pizza.

[crimeronan]

does anything like the internet exist in tachni? i assume not, but i feel like callout culture would be crazy with nova's powers

god, this is a Thorny worldbuilding question, in part because no matter what answer i give you, programmers and people who understand internet history are gonna be like, "kitkat. that makes no fucking sense."

i'm actually planning to worldbuild it out concretely with my irl writing group, because it's made up of older adults (including programmers and data scientists) who have been online since the early 90s. so. They Will Help Me. Thank God .

i CAN tell you tachni has cell phones with texting and camera capabilities, electronic billboards, celebrity magazines, and television. in light of that, it's Likely they have Some Internet, but i haven't built out any social media. in my head right now, it would be a decentralized group of forums and personal pages similar to pre-capitalism 80s/90s internet.

this may change!

you sent this a few days ago but i just remembered to reply because this song came up on spotify and i've Never Added Something To Nova's Playlist Faster.

"i can talk in any language and i can know every answer that's ever been known, but when everyone's together, everyone's alone, because we look so much better in the phone :)"

"so grab my attention by the throat, i'll be laughing on my own, i lost weeks and everyone but we're all having So Much Fun :)"

honestly nova doesn't need instagram to do crazy things with her powers. nova IS instagram. she's the personification of instagram. not just in appearance. and it is Just As Terrifying as instagram itself is

goddess of all the things you're insecure about. goddess of every beautiful filtered photograph. goddess of destabilizing political regimes. goddess of lies and misinformation. goddess of saying the same thing over and over until it's true.

goddess of all the senses you can't ever truly trust :)