#this def needs editing but its late and i wanted to get my thoughts out there

[salvidida]

Everything about Scar's treatment in Brotherhood sucks so bad, but there was something specific that has been bothering me for awhile. I hadn't been able to quite put my finger on what it was since watching FMAB for the first time recently (as a lifelong 03 fan). So I rewatched FMA 03 again and it finally clicked what it was that further upsets me about Brotherhood regarding Scar, besides the more obvious imperialist propaganda and racism:

The Elric's relationship to him.

Now obviously Ed's racism towards Scar in Brotherhood is pointed out frequently enough, but it doesn't stop there. It's the way that Brohood Ed is incapable and fully resistant to ever bridging that gap besides a deeply uneasy allyship-of-convenience. Al is also fully distant from Scar, besides their mutual antagonism in the earlier arc. And nothing more is really explored here between these characters.

And I didn't realize how much I valued the way 03's Scar, Ed, and Al contrast, overlap, mirror, battle, and support one another. Their fates and goals are inseparable. Alchemy's impact on the Elrics' lives is reflected with Scar's life and his brother's, as well as their familial relationship to their own brothers; many point out the similarities between 03 Scar and Al, with some noting how Ed and Scar's brother match each other. And the way the Elrics here are more able to engage with the harsh realities that inform Scar's choices and actions versus that of their place as Amestrians, and for Ed as an active member of the military who, despite wanting to cling to his principle of never taking a life, at times can see Scar's point of view and even, with reticence, sympathize with him (Al even more so).

There are layers to the relationship across these three characters. The tension and humanity that arises is a driving force in revealing the dialectics of this show. It's to the point that Al and even at times Ed defend Scar when talking with other characters towards the end of the show, and they even ultimately owe their lives to him (the philosopher stone and grand arcanum that allowed both Ed and Al to live, and for Al to regain his body). And the bond between the Elrics help Scar to forgive his brother, to speak aloud that he loves him in his final moments, before triumphantly accomplishing his goal against the Amestrian military, saving the remaining Liorans, and saving Al from becoming Kimbly's final bomb.

And there are other moments, such as Scar helping Al in Lab 5, telling him he sees his unmistakable humanity after Al helps him save Ishbalan refugees. Scar attempting to help Ed in Lab 5 after he refuses to sacrifice the prisoners for the Philosopher Stone, because he sees the humanity in Ed too, the humanity that can resist merely being a ruthless military dog and scientist. The way Scar treats Al almost like a little brother of his own, and when he mentions that Ed and his older brother share the same kind eyes- said at a time when Scar still harbours ill feelings for his brother's taboos and his sacrifice; which becomes all the more poignant when he forgives his brother before creating a Stone passed down to the Elrics. Scar mentions having sworn off specifically targetting state alchemists post-Lab 5, and this feels like his way of sparing the Elrics of his wrath, even as he holds fast to fighting against an oppressive system with necessary violence. The material here is rich for analysis and appreciation! It doesn't settle on more digestible, black-and-white character archetypes and plot conveniences.

There's a reason why the final outro for 03, where it flashes across four deceased characters who mattered to the Elrics, includes Scar. The man is in the ranks of Trisha, Nina, and Hughes! This isn't a mistake, the writers are intentionally showing the indelible impacts of these people who they cared about.

But with FMAB, it's exceptionally flat here and entirely derogatory. Ed hates Scar, and the narrative treats him as wholly right to do so. Scar needs to repent and reform to the side of his genociders, and never shall these characters interact or converse beyond putting a stop to Father. Scar was nothing more than a vehicle to reach his murdered brother's alchemic research, and an example to be made of any radical who so much as raises a finger against the State. All three of these characters want nothing to do with each other, and that's about as far as we get with them. In Scar's own words, he's nothing more than the 'ooze' (the poison) that arises from military conquest, and by the end of the show it's clear that, even with Scar saving the entire country that destroyed his life, to the Elrics, he will always be that 'ooze'.

In Brotherhood Scar committed what the Elrics clearly considers to be the ultimate sin: he killed Winry's parents, and no matter the circumstances surrounding that event, no matter what else changes, no matter which mass murderers, monsters, and genociders the Elrics can sympathize with, humanize, befriend, and forgive, Scar will never be anything more than an unforgivable murderer. The best everyone gets here is moving on and living seperate lives. Nothing more.

The fact that Ed openly wishes he could beat the shit out of Scar, he verbalizes as such while Winry patches him up and Miles lectures him about the value of reforming the military regime to include more racialized people for its imperialist complex. And the big mercy Ed in this moment offers to Scar is... Not kicking the shit out of him after all.

The juxtaposition between these adaptations, the cold hatred of FMAB versus the entangled, poetic antagonism and comradery of FMA 03 makes experiencing the former anime so depressing. Until watching Broho it never dawned on me just how much I truly appreciated the complexities between Scar and the Elrics in 03. Finding Scar's Earth counterpart at the end of Shambala wasn't just a fun cameo: it feels like a road that leads back to an ally.

At least now I have something I can more consciously enjoy whenever I revisit 03, while articulating yet another reason why I can't stand Broho.

[fandxmslxt69]

CLEM!!!

Happy birthday, lovely! I hope you're happy and healthy! So sorry I didn't see your post earlier, I've been having a very hectic year with studying, working and just generalized stuff! BUT BUT I couldn't send you a inbox!

So like a said: HAPPY BIRTHDAY! you are one of the sweetest mutuals ever! And to celebrate that a gotta ask

What is your latest read?

And I want to know your all time favorite Jason fics, please with links and all!

LOVE OF MY LIFE HELLO!!!

OMG PLS DONT APOLOGISE I KNOW HOW HECTIC LIFE CAN GET!! i hope you are taking good care of yourself, resting and relax outside of studies and work!!! remember that none of it matters if you aren't feeling good <33

MY LATEST READ OKAY

um truth be told my love i have been in SUCH a slump lately,,,, its been tough out here.

i only read like 3 books very recently (last month or so)

I did read All The Little Raindrops by Mia Sheridan my QUEEN. its like a mystery thriller with a side of romance!!! Sheridan's books are ALWAYS a hit (she's very popular for her booktok famous Archer's Voice? And Travis !!) I've read like. most of her books at this point. I have never devoted myself to an author so much. She got me into the whole thriller genre and I LOVE her. so much. ITS SO GOOD AAAA. its not for the faint of heart and on more than once i find myself with the need to throw up with how HORRIFYING and messed up some of this stuff is (most of her thriller books are not for the faint of heart. lots of horrific stuff that is all too real and it makes it 10x more disturbing). Anyway i loved it i think i gave it a 4/5 stars it was so so good

2. i ALSO started Ana Huang's If Love series. I literally never shut up about Ana Huang like. EVER and i had been wanting to read this for a while and IM SO GLAD I GOT IT STARTED !!! Its a LOT less popular than hr Twisted and Kings of Sin series; she wrote it well before she got popular/published but its so good. its def not Twisted/Kings of Sin series but it makes it sooo clear how much she's grown in her writing, character development and general story telling!!! I read the first 2 books and UGHGUGHUFGHUFGHG yeah. new comfort series fr fr fr fr.

I also got digging through Lynn Painter's works (Love Wager, Mr Wrong Number, Better Than The Movies, etc) 10/10 her rom coms are sacred to me. this was a while ago though like. months ago lmao but i think abt her books always!!!

OH OH OMG I READ BIRTHDAY GIRL BY PENELOPE DOUGLAS !!!! SOME TIME AGO!!! yeah it changed my brain chemistry. i dont remember if i told you or not. but it changed my life. i think about it always.

edit: omg shut up i forgot i read some banger books months ago that i did not mention. i ate up Liz Tomforde's sports romance series (Windy City series) it was SO FREAKING GOOD. she had hockey romance, she had basketball romance she had BASEBALL ROMANCE. 10/10 amazing vibes

I ate through the latest of Lauren Asher's (Love Redesigned) IT WAS ALSO HELLA GOOD!! Ana Huang's King of Greed was also a vibe. not my fav but it was good. I ALSO delved into hockey romance SOOO DEEP. Fav series is probably Becka Mack's Playing For Keeps. It's the silliest stupidest fluffy no plot head empty series ever. the first book is 90% porn. its just for the giggles. the second is a bit better but the third is def the best in terms of actual plot & character development for example but the vibes are astronomical and i live for them

i ALSO started reading Sarah Adam's small town romance series (very very good). All fluffy fall vibes. CHLOE GONG HAD COME OUT WITH A NEW BOOK IN THE SUMMER AND I GOT TO IT AROUND THE NEW YEAR AND IT WAS SOOO GOOOD. Immortal Longings mm......she destroyed me once again.

OKAY ALL TIME FAV JASON FICS ok i dont have links (is lazy to go find links) but i will tell you two blogs im like religiously stalking:

@in-som-niyah has AMAZING THOUGHTS on Jason 10/10 i love getting all my jason content from her GOD BLESS THE HARDWORKING PEOPLE OF TUMBLR DOT COM

@fcthots also has some kick ass Jason stuff....like....from smutty to fluffy and domestic its....yeah. oooghgubjgubgn yeah yeah.

anyway i've probably forgotten to mention a bunch of books but thats all i can remember that was actually good. HOW HAVE YOU BEEN WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN READING !!!

[ushiwakaout]

parings: Kenma x reader, Oikawa x reader

warning: Fluff, bad grammar. nsfw under black line. fem reader. TIME SKIP HAIKYUU

a/n: request are open! please don’t be afraid to do so!

Kozume Kenma

Match made in heaven

Both of you are at home workers, other than the fact that kenma is a CEO of his own company

You work for him, you’re his editor and you work pretty fast since you obviously do nothing in your day but edit and binge watch anime

you guys could probably go days without talking and just communicate physically and understand everything.

If you go to the store, and he’s gaming that’s when you’ll talk

Always knock before you go into his little studio room

You never come behind him anymore because one time he was filming a scary gameplay with a heart monitor and everyone thought you gave him a heart attack 

but no, kenma is just baby and you wanted a good laugh- you felt really bad about it tho bc it was live and you where crying your ass off and he was yelling at you 

fake breakup video like the next day for trolling

Okaya anywho

if you want his attention and he’s live, you remove one side of his headset and kiss his cheek (theres a several compilation videos of you doing that all over youtube)��“I’m going to the store, you want anything?” 

you always wait like 30 seconds and caress him a little to let him know you’re physically there and not just standing there.

“Uh- yeah... yeah. Hold on.” (there is also a compilation of kenma just ignoring you and you just standing there until he answers) 

you always end up naming his favorite snacks, drinks and food and he either agrees or denies. 

everyone thinks its weird how your relationship works

SOME MANY VIDEOS OF “kenma and y/n communicating without any words” 

you go many places by yourself since kenma does very long streams or just long videos

you both stay up really late together

if hes not making videos hes looking at paperwork and if hes not doing that he’s helping you edit

somehow kenma is the more productive one

you have channel yourself that slowly grows thanks to kenma

you only do lives and leave up the whole streams bc you dread editing but you’ll do anything for kenma

just to make extra cash you have and OF

most of the videos consist of watching you play video game while kenma eats you out under the desk

a lot of audios because kenma doesn’t like being his face filmed while having sex

theres a video in your own OF when you do a tik tok trend where you surprise him while he’s filming 

“Kenma can you help me for a second.”

“Hmm, what is it kitten?” 

He paused his game and while his chair turned you undid your robe

Luckly he’s not live and kept the camera on

He just smiles and spreads his legs for you

(gdiewgsfiuchsiufviusdghvypofgsivhrwshb my brain is malfunctioning ugh im so in love with kenma its not even funny)

He makes you sit on his lap, as he suckles your nipple in his mouth. 

His hand firmed tightly around your rips as he kisses every inch of your chest

“You’re so pretty... So fucking pretty.” He mumbles. He’s kissing down your chest all the way to your tummy before picking you up and making you stand 

He makes you stand in front of the camera while stands behind you and kisses the crook of your neck. 

“I want you to look in the camera for me kitten, can you do that?” He kisses her jaw “Can you be a good girl for me?”

(wow if i write any more smut for kenma i think i might go crazy jskwbvbdei)

sex is very much a frequent thing, most of the time it starts as cock warming while watching a movie and two second later your begging to milk kenmas cock again

he loves when you beg for his cock, makes him feel wanted

he loves feeling your tight pussy clench around him when hes about to cum and you’re cumming for the third time, panting, begging, crying to having him fill you up with his hot cum.

Blow jobs under his desk or while hes on an important call are a must.

you love watching his cock slowly twitch with pre cum when you lick his shaft

mmm i need to stop- i love him so much ugh

Oikawa Tooru 

Being lazy in argentina was a dream but a little lonely

Tooru was always away at practive but lcukly the apartment he had been renting had a pool, and you spend most of your days at the pool, reading or playing some game he just bought you

you hate how early he freaking wakes up

hes making breakfast and blending shakes at like 5 in the morning 

there’s days he doesn’t really mean to wake you, you know the difference bc if he wants to wake you he’ll leave the blender run for a while and if h doesn’t he does it in seperate pulses so it’s not so damn loud

if he does it on purpose, he has breakfast ready for you before his own

doesn’t expect you to stick around after you eat 

when he wakes you on accident he’s like “Oh my baby i’m so sorry honey.” 

cue kiss attacks, warm hugs and him making you a cup of coffee/tea, whatever you prefer that morning

he’s so sweet

he knows you work hard too (even tho it doesn’t seem like it bc people think youtubers and streamers have an easy job when it clearly is mentally very stressful)

He knows that when he wakes you up, you had legit just gone to bed like two hours ago. 

sometimes you sleep though the noise and before he leaves he wakes you up just a little so he can kiss you goodbye.

its always something like *shake* *shake* “Baby.... honey”  *caressing of the head/cheek/hair* “I gotta go to practice now, give me a kiss princess.” you always wake up to the sound of that and give his a really sweet and tender kiss. Oikawa really just wants to fall back asleep with you and hold you, especially today since it was a cold morning

after you give him the kiss, you caress his cheek and then shove him away- a little jumpy that he need to go. “Love you.” you mutter before covering yourself with the blankets 

he always slaps your ass over the blankets, it never huts but it’s just a sign of his actually leaving to practice 

You wear his stuff when he leaves

low key have attachment issues since you moved with him to Argentina

other than pool side reading, or doing a few laps before breakfast- you really don’t do anything but work.

Work for you consisted you of just playing video games or streaming

You’re popular on the female side of gamers 

sometimes you have streams where you ask your fans to play and write down their handles and you’d add them to a game or sum

Everyone knows your dating a professional volleyball player an they think it’s an interesting duo

You cry when Tooru brought Hinata over, he smelt like home

you def. helped him adjust to the life in argentina bc it’s nothing like home.

hinata comes over for dinner ever weekend

if you’re not working or at the pool, you’re in a white hoddie and some shorts, just watching Hinata play some beach volleyball while playing some game

You very much remind him of kenma- it helped a lot when he got some sick- you didn’t really ‘help’ you just cried with him about how much you miss home

although your schedule isnt the best, youre always awake when tooru gets home, always there to greet him with kisses 

hes lucky you like cooking, bc he always comes home to an empty stomach 

you’re probably the slowest cooker he knows but you take your sweet time bc you know that it always comes out w the best result and he doesnt complain anymore

baths w oikawa are frequent

muscles sores are a usual so seconds before he gets home theres a hot bath being  pampered with your love for him

you work so slow on everything hes surprised you actually get stuff done

a little offended that he doesn’t believe in your slow work ethic bc it worked since highschool.

there had been times where he just ask if you’re not ever sick of being at home locked in all day and it stated a very month long fight.

sleeping in different rooms

(LIL ANGST AHEAD)

Tooru can hear you cry from the other room

he didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, he really didn’t. he just doesn’t want you to regret anything- especially moving here with him

you hate it when he questions your life ethics. it makes you feel like a failure and unworthy.

your life is simple and you like it that way but the second he questions it you think that you aren’t doing enough

will 100% sleep outside your door because he can’t sleep alone anymore. he’s gotten used to you being right next to him

you realize that it seems he’s given up so now it’s time to go to the kitchen and get water

but to your surprise tooru is very asleep on the doorframe when you open the door. it’s makes your heart ache just a little bit. he looks tired, his eyes are puffy but he looks so at peace.

you wake him up to go to bed but he has other plans.

he’s kissing you so sweetly, every piece of skin he can find he will kiss

will carry you to bed and kiss your tummy as your shirt ran a little too high

will start to kiss your inner thigh and pull down your underwear and slowly make his way up to your pussy

you’re clearly trying to shove him off (not hard enough) because you keep closing your legs and trying to push him with your foot

will spread your legs and keep his hands there to he can start eating you out

this is his apology. this his how oikawa tooru says im sorry without saying it. soft pleasuring, orgasmic sex.

his fingers are so deep in your pussy while he’s sucking on your clit. he doesn’t look at you when you cum because he feels like he doesn’t deserve to see it.

you’re begging him to look at you after he’s done fingering you so you can kiss him with your taste this lingering oh his tongue

fucks you in a matting press because when it’s slow and he’s thrusting it all in.... i don’t think he’s seen you twitch and drool so much

tooru is there to pleasure you and when he sees you cry out of the pleasure you know he’ll be forgiven when it’s over

aftercare is even better

he doesn’t make you do anything

he presses you, gives you kisses and over all will apologize verbally when you’re slowly falling asleep in his arms

[breathings-of-the-heart]

Imagine Levi Confessing his Love for You

A/N: THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT PLEASE READ THE TEXT BELOW BEFORE PROCEEDING THANK YOU :))

HERE IS A TIMELINE /  EXPLANATION / BACKGROUND INFORMATION BECAUSE CASE THE TIME SKIPS OF THIS STORY ARE CONFUSING: I’m sorry for that everyone, I know the dates are sloppy and as a whole this fic doesn’t make too much sense; I tried to edit this piece as best I could to make the story as easy to follow as possible, but seeing as I can’t unpublish part 1 or 2, the cleanup still leaves things bit unclear. These imagines were originally chapters of a longer Levi x Reader fic that I decided to discontinue, which is why there are so many loose ends. Here was my original intention for this story, broken down for the few who choose to read the Author’s Notes lol.

We are going to do this in the order of the 3 part fic (I also put attached all the links to the titles)

Part 1: Imagine Relating to Mikasa About Loving Someone in the Military

The scene is set during the events of SEASON 1 of Attack on Titan, BEFORE the Female Titan Arc. (Y/N) was also hand selected by Levi to be part of the original Special Operation Squad; she bit her hand at the dinner table along with Petra, Gunther, Eld, and Oluo to show their dedication and understanding towards Eren wayyy back in the beginning of the series. The Survey Corps is making preparations for their first attempt to go to Shiganshina since the Fall of Wall Maria and not only uncover the mole who killed captive titans Sonny and Bean, but also to get to Eren’s basement.

Part 2: To Love Another

The flashback and opening scene in the beginning of this writing piece (where (Y/N) and Hange are talking to each other) occurs shortly after (Y/N) wakes up in the infirmary room, before anyone breaks the news that she, aside from an injured Levi, is the last surviving member of Squad Levi after Annie killed the others in the Forest of Giant Trees in her female titan form. Hange’s intentions were to bring the (Y/N) and Levi together so they would be able to support each other during this mutual loss. But alas, (Y/N) accepts his rejection and the two suffer the aftermath of this tragic news alone. To read this arc for context/bonus content to get a better understanding of this mini series, see my posts (as a sort of prequel, if you will) Imagine Levi Finding you Injured on an Expedition and Imagine Being the Last Member of Squad Levi To Survive to fill that time gap :)

In real-time, all of Season 2 and Season 3 Part 1 have gone by with limited interaction between (Y/N) and Levi. This part of the story is occurring during Season 3 PART 2, (spoilers) after the Coup D'etat, and after Historia becomes Queen. (Y/N) is no longer an active soldier, having sustained injuries too severe to be reliable in combat. She remains useful to the Corps as a battle strategist, however, which allows her to stay. The Scouting Regiment is currently preparing to go to Eren’s basement in their second attempt, knowing Reiner and Berthold will be waiting for them there.

Part 3: Imagine Levi Confessing his Love for You (YOU ARE HERE)

This part takes place pretty much a week or so after the events of “To Love Another.” It is revealed how much (Y/N) has isolated herself in the months between Parts 1 and 2 from not only Levi, but Hange, the only one besides Mikasa who knew about her feelings for Levi prior to their falling out. (Y/N) confesses her feelings for Levi before the mission to Shiganshina in Season one, and the fic parallels itself and comes full circle once their final interaction occurs before the second and final mission to Shiganshina, for which, (Y/N) is unable to go for her death would be almost certain. She seen to be more valuable inside the walls, where she can carry on the duties of the Survey Corps should the entire regiment collapse during the mission. This is the final part :)

I HOPE THAT CLEARS THINGS UP!

requested by @a-single-uwo @dracq and @little-diva-gurl and a lovely anon who def isn’t the happiest that this took so long. Deepest apologies! Hope this was worth the wait. I also hope this post finds everyone safe and in good health during these crazy times <3

~~~~~

Dread bottled up in the bottom of your stomach, which threatened to fall down to your knees. Even Hange’s eyes brimmed with concern when she informed you that Levi requested your presence in his office; all of which was out of the blue, uncharacteristic, after months of him being accustomed to giving you your space.

Feigning annoyance, you stared at the soldier dummy two paces ahead, dented heavily with the marks of your punches. The sun was beating down on the early autumn day, and heat waves rose from the ground. It illuminated the glistening perspiration sliding down your figure, torso rising and falling in short breaths of exhaustion.

Hange watched you carefully from a distance. She noticed your tense muscles, clad in a sports bra and boxing shorts; the lack of attire made it impossible to hide the sudden tension and stiffness embedded in your lean muscles, a tell tale sign of distress. As a creature of observation and analytics, the Squad Leader could sense your discomfort as if it was written across your forehead.

The brunette watched you wipe the sweat off your forehead and yell in frustration, turning towards her direction and moving to land a kick at her head.

Unfazed and in possession of sharp reflexes, Hange took a step back, only to watch as you twisted mid-air and landed a 360 Crescent kick to the dummy-shaped bag, which broke open on impact under the force of the blow. Sand poured out of its opening and spilled onto the ground in a steady stream that grew less heavy as the seconds passed.

“I’ll have to admit, you are getting better, but (Y/N), don’t get your hopes up,” Hange cautioned. “The problem does not reside in your muscles. No matter how well you learn to fight like you used to, Annie crushed your ribs and threw you to the ground: it's your lungs that will never recover. You can’t come with us to Shiganshina tomorrow like this.”

Hunched over with hands on your knees, you regained a regular breathing pattern and began to feel the explosive pain in your chest. Airways blocked, you began coughing, willing the oxygen to enter your body.

“Let me humor myself, Hange-san. If I don’t try, I might go insane.”

It was almost tragic that such a young soldier was out of commission; you were full of promise, rivalling Mikasa in skill. Hange knew you were itching to do what you trained for your whole life: Coming to Shiganshina and putting it all on the line had always been your number one goal. You didn’t want to be left behind again, to die bitter and alone without the only people you cared about.

“Regardless, (Y/N), you’re stalling,” Hange smoothly shifted the topic of conversation back to what brought her to you in the first place. “He still has that power over you, huh?”

"It'll pass eventually," you sighed, hoping the words were true.

You bowed towards the tall female. She smiled in return, shaking her head softly.

Whilst pacing away, said person stopped you once more.

“(Y/N). For what it’s worth, I stand by what I said before. Don’t look so nervous, okay?”

Her words replayed in your head, a haunting ghost of the not-so-long ago past. Time was strange, that way. It seemed like everything happened yesterday yet in another lifetime, all at once. “He loves you, more than he’s ever loved anyone. Surely you know that.”

Stupid, you thought, how I might have believed it once.

As you made your way down the hall, numbness crept into your body once again. You were too proud to admit you were afraid, especially with the Section Commander’s radiating sympathy, but everyone knew the once friendly dynamic between you and the Captain transformed into one more distant and cold. With each step towards the door, you felt the icy chill grow and that fact alone shook you to the core. 

But it didn’t matter, seeing as Levi was of superior authority. There was no way around it.

Your hand shook as it raised to knock.

~~~~~~

“Name and business,” Levi spoke, voice muffled by the closed door.

“It’s (Y/N), sir. I was hoping to speak with you.”

There was a pause, and in that time you considered the option of fleeing back to your room and retreating back to a life of emotional safety, normality. It wasn’t too late to forget.

It had been a week since you spoke to Mikasa on the rooftop, after realizing the deep shit your heart decided to put you in. You didn’t think Levi would notice the distracted nature of your behavior-- tried to make it as subtle as possible whilst you figured out what you felt for him. 

But before you could explore other options, Levi muttered a stern “enter.” You knew with the first expedition back to Shiganshina tomorrow, and the prospect of death closer than it has ever been on a mission, it was now or never. 

The room was dim, small, warm, and thick with building tension. Shadows danced across the Captain’s face, sharp features lit by an orange flame. Only candlelight, sourced at his desk, assisted your adjusting eyes. 

Your nose was hit with the smell of tea and cleaning products upon entry. This fact made you smile despite your bundling nervous energy. It was a familiar place, filled with memories of late night conversations (granted, of mostly you speaking and him listening), witnessed only by the large piles of paperwork. It started here and resulted in a natural, growing fondness kept secret to all except you two and the moon looking in from the window. 

This man was your squad leader, your commander, your trusted comrade. There was no need to be afraid-- Not unless of course, you held the potential to shatter such damn a delicate relationship.

And you did. 

Was it worth it?

Your gaze gravitated towards the center of the room where the Lance Corporal sat. And in that instant, your smile evaporated instantly. He placed his pen down, gracefully resting his cheek on his fist and lazily tossing the raven locks out of his eyes-- they landed on you, piercing yet drowsy and indifferent upon first glance. He was beautiful, as always. The allure was nearly sickening; unfair to the rest of the world.

Looking closer, however, he was anything but relaxed. The observant eye could see his countenance stirred something different. He seemed sharp and focused, ready to dart out and wrap himself around your heart, squeezing tighter with every breath you took. And you felt it-- the heart palpitations, which got worse at the sight of him.

He seemed… different. Dangerous, like a storm stirring in the distance, and the inevitable downpour that comes with it. The dark circles under his eyes told tales about the insomnia; a fresh cup of caffeinated black tea even rested on his left, steam rising out of it. And whilst attraction was undeniable, your concern always came first.

Levi was never quite good at getting proper rest before a mission.

“(Y/N),” The word was breathy, yet his voice was rough.

You shuffled in your spot, your name on his tongue making your stomach churn with desire.

Levi seemed to pick up on your affliction, getting out of his chair and gliding towards you. Everything happened fast and slow all at once, starting off with a momentaneous rush of air and  the collision of your back with the office wall. A small shriek filled the air, out of place against the silence; was that your voice? The pain should’ve been there, but it wasn’t.

Then the seconds dragged out. Levi was a new person, setting your skin aflame as he gripped your wrists and pinned them against the wall. His lips brushed your eartips, which turned red the instant the raven’s breath fanned over them. This normally reserved, disciplined man unleashed something you had never seen before.

“Finally ready to talk to me about why you’ve been acting so strange, brat?” he whispered.  

This wasn’t supposed to be so dirty. He was angry, but the mood was established in layers: something more sinister existed beneath.

The scent of fresh pine filled your nostrils until your brain went foggy. Levi was close--so close, and with the fact that you’ve been avoiding him mixed in with the fact that you missed him for it, all bets were off: there was no stopping the words that came out of your mouth next.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” you whispered back, looking him dead in the eyes, no fear this time.

His grip on your wrist slackened.

“Hm?”

You took in a deep breath, ready to leave it all on the line, and spoke.

“I like you a lot, sir. And not in a comradery type of way. I-I just thought I’d tell you before, you know, we leave tomorrow.” Your gaze found the floor again, too timid for your own good. But the statement was said, and it was finite; there was no turning away from it.

The Captain’s eyes went wide and gleamed brightly at you. His chest felt lighter and as he looked down at you in speechless awe, staring at anything but his face in your adorable embarrassment, he realized exactly why your absent look irked him those days ago. Why your lack of enthusiasm and lighthearted-ness gave him a strange sense of frustration. 

Levi never felt more awake, more hyper aware of his surroundings. 

The feeling of your chest pressed against him, the heat of those rosy cheeks, the pounding within his ribcage, the moon hitting your pretty face. With your figure in his arms, after the blissful seconds passed, everything felt, for once, okay.

Until it wasn’t.

Gaining the courage to look back up at him, you all but tore apart at the scowl on his face as demons flitted through his beautiful brain and polluted the image of happiness. Levi grew more indignant by the second, all but throwing your arms he held back at your sides like they were poison to the touch. 

Tears pooled in your eyes as the soft expression you didn’t get to see turned sour, disgusted-- the Captain’s lips curling into a snarl as he imagined what he could lose if he opened up his heart for this girl in front of him to take. The risk and pain of falling for someone, in the world the two of you lived in. And all the stoic man could think was how he allowed this charade to come so far.

No, he wouldn't allow it.

“Get out, (L/N)” he commanded, harsh and unforgiving.

You were trembling, body feeling detached from reality as it moved, convincing itself that it was simply a nightmare. Levi’s cruel demeanor all but shattered you as you looked wide-eyed and his anger grew, the short man pacing behind his desk and bringing a hand over his face. His free one crumpled into a fist, knuckles turning white as he slammed it on the wood, the loud bang making you jump; the fear, grief, confusion coming all at once until it choked you and your vision spotted black.

“I said GET OUT!”

The room stilled and Levi looked up to face you cowering near the door, a single tear rolling down your cheek. He stilled at the sight, the weight of his words dawning upon him.  

“I-I’m sorry,” you gasped before racing out of the room.

Had you looked back, you would’ve seen Levi’s outstretched hand betraying his body, desperately reaching out for you, gray eyes filled with pain.

But you knew now you’d never be dumb enough to spare him that second glance-- and maybe that was the right call, seeing as his feet moved in the direction you left, only to shut the door left askew in your wake.  

~~~

The Captain’s gaze was on you more than necessary, but it was clear the two of you had the same thought: You focused everything into this discussion, melting into the emotionally-detached soldier your duty commanded, just like Levi did. His words had no ulterior motive, no deeper meaning. They were monotonous and empty.

Or so you thought.

Levi stood up the second you came in, but your gaze fell to the ground in submission.

“Hange said you needed to see me, Captain?” your voice was small and weak; you kicked yourself for it. How pathetic.

“Damn you...”

The man said nothing more, brushing his fingers along your cheekbones and you everything hit you like whiplash, the memories. Levi ran them along your face, down to your chin to lift it gently, so that for once you’d let your eyes meet instead of looking at the ground like a coward.

When they did the man’s breath hitched in his throat, because although your (eye color) orbs were no longer as vibrant, they were still beautiful and entrancing; why hadn’t he ever appreciated them before? 

"I missed you, brat," he spoke firmly.

You felt a churn in your abdomen as you watched his eyes study the details of your face and take in every feature, committing it to memory painfully slow. You were paralyzed, his face inches away from yours and forcing buried emotions to resurface as months of restraint came undone. He didn’t speak, holding you delicately after not being this close for far too long and discerning what he’s been missing.  

“Um, Captain? What are you...?"

You bit your lip, feeling puzzled and confused as you remembered the hate in Levi's orbs the last time you saw him like this.

All you could see now was how quickly his emotions shifted from serenity to fury that fateful night, and as you recollected the way Levi lashed out, all chaos and fury, he retracted his hand.

And you flinched away.

The Captain froze.

“Don’t-- don’t fucking do that,” he growled, his urgency startling. “I would never hurt you, (Y/N).”

Your eyebrows furrowed, all inhibition thrown out the window the second Levi’s countenance flashed with hurt at your response to his touch. You let your fear go and emotions free at the irony of the raven’s statement. Your mind went into overdrive, recounting every instance you wanted to give up and leave, drown in yourself, give up on finding purpose in the aftermath of rejection and Squad Levi’s death and your permanent injury changing your way of life. Things you faced alone, because instead of rekindling any semblance of a relationship, Levi tossed everything away and berated you for feeling.

The man who resided here cut your heart expertisely like the countless swords he wielded then disposed. He did not have the right to look at you so kindly; did not have to right to fan the flames of false hope. But here he was, procrastinating until the very last day to take initiative regarding those actions.

“Why are you doing this?” you whispered, forgetting your composure.

“I’d advise you not to speak in riddles,” Levi spoke in a low and even voice, no real malice as he addressed you and tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

You took a deep breath and fought to remain calm, grabbing Levi's wrist to keep him from touching you.

“Please don’t toy with me, or mock my feelings like this. Why did you call me here? You made it plenty clear how you feel about me, Levi. What else is there to say?" you begged, the lack of closure driving you insane.

This was the first time you used his name, an unprecedented amount of spite and pain expressed through it, because you wanted Levi to remember this moment. It was over: that time of feeling sorry and ashamed of yourself for being nothing other than human. The remorse was gone, and the heartache was fleeting.

“Tell me, dammit!”

His was overflowing.

“You want to know how I really feel about you, (Y/N)!?” the Captain shouted, voice rising because for a man who relied on impulse and action on the battlefield it was fucking frustrating, watching the woman in front of him live this way for the simple reason that he was not good with words. "The thoughts that go through my head when you can't even bear to look at me?!"

"No, that's not what I asked. I already know that you don't--"

"--Fuck this."

Relying on instinct to guide him, Levi leaned forward and kissed you.

The second his lips met yours, you melted on the spot, knees giving out beneath you. Tongue sliding into your mouth, Levi simultaneously lifted you into the air, feeling lightheaded as you moaned into him, eagerly returning the kiss. His hands were everywhere, grasping at your waist, clutching the back of your head, running down your thighs. You were in such a state of euphoria that nothing else existed.

Your own digits threaded through Levi’s raven locks and pulled needily, emitting a growl from his throat as he bit down on your lower lip. He reveled in the feeling of your legs around his waist as your soft lips worked against his own, hungry and relentless. The kiss was passionate and you’d imagined it a million times over, but this-- Levi successfully ruined you for any other man.

The need for oxygen pulled you apart, Levi’s strong arms keeping you in the air as his eyes remained shut; he pecked your lips once, then twice, savoring the moment until it mournfully passed.

He was hesitant to break the silence, but you deserved it. You waited long enough to hear the truth, and he knew his time was running out; you weren’t going to wait for him forever.

“(Y/N)...” he began to speak, forehead resting on yours as he panted softly to catch his breath. “I dreamt of you last night. I have been for days.”

“Levi--”

“--Just listen,” he interrupted, unable to stop himself from kissing you softly once more. “Neither of us are running away this time.”

You fell silent as the man let you down, pulling you into his solid chest as you buried your face in his shirt, patiently listening. His calm heartbeat thrummed soothingly in your ears like a metronome.

“Isabel, Farlan, Oluo, Petra, Gunther, Eld. They all knew that what they meant to me. And I them."

One of the only things that made it easier to say goodbye, you thought with a bittersweet pang in your chest.

"With us, it's different. I died in every dream, (Y/N). Every one. And in every single one, you lived on believing I never loved you. Call me selfish, but I...”

You pulled away from the stoic man, searching his gaze as he trailed off. Shyly, you interlaced your fingers, his larger hand enveloping yours and you prayed to whoever was listening upstairs that all of this was real.

“I just can't leave until you understand...”

He clutched you impossibly tighter, eyes squeezing shut.

"...that you, are everything."

~~~ Extended Ending ~~~

A soft hum filled the air, the tune dreamy and sweet as you repeated the melody once again. You smiled warmly as hands wound around your waist, pulling you closer to a toned and shirtless Captain Levi, silken sheets tossed haphazardly on top of the two of you. His breath sent goosebumps on your neck as he kissed your shoulder gently, warmth deliciously intoxicating. 

Giggling now, you turned around to face him, the man’s onyx hair ticking you softly. You captured your lips in his with one smooth movement and snuggled closer, taking in the small slice of heaven that was home in his arms, legs tangled together. Feeling unbelievably content, like your heart might burst, you leaned forward and rubbed your nose against Levi's. 

Although he wasn't smiling, the look he was giving you revealed his own sensation of happiness.

“I never thought you’d be the cuddling type,” you remarked devilishly, scrunching up your nose as you teased him. 

Though your tone was lighthearted, you were painfully aware that the moment was ending. You internally cursed the sun as it started to set, orange light peeking in through the window shades to signal the coming of night. Levi said nothing, looking deeply into your eyes, and like always, it felt as if he could read the contents of your soul. 

But it wasn’t vulnerability you felt: on the contrary, you knew you would never find as safe a place as here. With him. Finally.  

“Levi...” you swallowed, humor all but gone. “Now you have to come home.” 

To emphasize your point you sat up on the bed, legs tucked neatly underneath you as you stared imperatively at your lover. 

“Mhm. We’ve wasted enough time,” he agreed, taking you by the wrist to pull you back on top of him, to bask in this personal paradise if only for another minute. 

[frogmentarii]

QUESTIONS FOR OC CREATORS

Haaaa ok so I am doing this cause i saw @fallout-lou-begas steal it from @tarberrymentats and they both looked like they were havin hella fun so i am commandeering this for my own purposes. So lucky for yall its Emi time (art by the dearest @yesjejunus because yall need to see more of her work)

A) Why are you excited about this character?

Because she's an older woman (57) that breaks a lot of moulds and I love to see it. Aside from just enjoying older characters, Emi isn't a sweet old lady and she isn't here to try and mother anyone. Her drives are entirely her own and while she prioratizes herself and her sister before anyone else, its not always due to complete selfishness and just due to growing up in the wastes (I try to keep her character true to a fend for yourself setting as possible). I think Ill go into detail in another question with this, but I went through a lot of concepts and personalities for Emi before settling on someone who was seasoned and very much a product of the wastes. I think after seeing a lot of other couriers I finally figured out what I wanted to do differently, and that sort of helped guide her to become what she is today.

B) What inspired you to create them?

I think my last line there sort of short answers this. I wanted someone different from the other couriers I saw, and wanted to make one that was distinct or even juxtaposed against some tropes. She's a woman in her late 50s that doesnt try and play mom/granny to the companions, she very much has no stake in what happens to the Mojave, she doesnt care about Benny or that he shot her in the head (such is life in the Mojave, but she did have a job to complete so ripperoni him), and a lot of her motivations are selfish or exist to benefit her sister. She doesnt act 'old' in the fact that she isn't a wise caring soul or a grumpy old man, but rather her age is shown through her experience, and this also shapes her personality. She's never had to formally 'grow up' so she can come off as immature and irritating for her own entertainment, but she doesn't have youthful ignorance for how the world works. She knows how to be responsible but she doesnt have to act like it outwardly, even with her Tragic Caregiver Backstory.

C) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?

To a large degree in the beginning, yes, and to specific degrees now, also yes. Writing in general isnt my strong point though I did know what I wanted for her. The main image is there but the details are funky, and Ive been slowly hammering those out as I work along with her and Camila's stories. There's been some huge changes along the way that help push both of them towards an ending I like and that fits them, and even if it takes forever and I never actually write a fic, I'll be happy when she finally feels completed in New Vegas.

Aside from that, she kind of fits in anywhere in regards to AUs. My friend @yesjejunus and I have probably like 40000 fucking aus for our OCs and all of them feel just as organic and their canon stories.

D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?

So I know I have an 'original concept Emilia' art on here where she looked like Laura Croft and had aviators but that wasnt even her first concept. I had originally wanted to make a petite southern belle type from Louisiana who used a shot gun and had a mean streak, but as I kept playing with concepts Emi really started to lean other places. Another huge change was her personality. Even when her concept got settled as a sniper from Mexico, she was suppose to be an early 30s caravan guard who was way too sure of herself. While there are reminents of that concept still in her, she has a lot more experience in the wastes and in think-on-your-feet situations to back up her attitude. Another thing she required was dropping her "take me seriously" personality with more goofy "i do what i want cause why not" traits.

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

Emi can get along with anyone at a surface level, for a small while, if it will benefit her or she wants to pass time. She really doesn't have interest in folks who arent interesting or beneficial in some way. Since I don't really offer her much, and am a bit of a wet bag, she might yank my chain for her own funsies or she'd have no interest.

And while I did indeed give Emi my go with the flow attitude, I think I wouldn't be able to keep up with her. Emi is very fast paced and doesnt necessarily have regard for those she decides to pick up as drinking buddies for the night. Def dont trust her with my life, and knowing the shit she gets into I'd def want to steer clear of it....like a trainwreck its much better to watch her from a safe distance, lol.

F) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?

A lot of affection from a meta standpoint? I've worked with Emi and Cam a lot since creating them, and they've def come a long way since their original concepts. I wouldn't say their story is quite where I want it yet, but I am quite happy with it overall.

That, and Ive met so many awesome writers along the way with Emi. Not all of my friends have posted fic but the amount of world building and having our characters interact and talking OCs ive done with them has placed both Emi and their OCs in a special place for me. Sure her having her own story is fun but I much more prefer the bonds Ive created with people over OCs and I think thats a bit more of a cherished component to character creation for me.

G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?

Literally? That she likes to be irritating if she feels she can get away with it (or even if she cant). Actually? That she has a very "I shelter you and feed you therefore I make the rules, period." stance on how she takes care of her charge. She lets a lot of shit slide with Camila but things get very Rapunzel-esque at times.

H) What trait do you admire most?

How sure of herself she is. Even if its to a fault, she trusts herself and her judgements. That sort of confidence is something I strive to have haha.

To a lesser degree, and more of a meta point I wanted to make with her, just...her appearance I suppose? To me she's attractive, but she also has a lot of traits that aren't conventionally attractive and that's played a lot into how Ive wanted her to be. Again she's 57 years old. She has age to her body, her skin wrinkles and droops, her tits sag, she has the body of someone who uses chems, and yet despite her age and breaking of beauty standards ive made it a point to show that she is desired or thought of as attractive in non fetish specific circumstances. She herself, while aro, also still has an active sex drive and I really wanted this to be a backseat part of her character, as I feel like fandom in general shafts older women in this department (this also goes for a lot of her non 'old lady' traits I give her too). She still has sexual needs and is still very much sexually active, and she is still found to be a regular sort of attractive and is desired by those she gets involved with.

J) Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character?

Yes? Ish, to a degree. I didnt have to but I wanted to. I also did a lot of headcanoning with post Mexico for her early life which, afaik is free real estate for lore/nothing super detailed has been given in canon.

Given that she and Camila both shape their stories as individuals, I did have to split up some canon elements to follow two seperate characters, but other than that I really just had to make sure Emilia's story wasnt "boring" in the fact that she again, has no real stake in what happens to Vegas/the Mojave.

I) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?

Cackles in 'which au will I obsess with today'

For the most part yes, however I love placing her in new things or different stories. She may be 'my courier' but really shes just the frog granny that goes into whatever au I am feeling at the time.

[akaashisupremacy]

Connecting Flights w/Iwa

Summary: On Hajime Iwaizumi’s flight back to Japan, he meets an unexpected friend from his past who is a little hung up on someone else. 

Iwaizumi x fem!reader/Oc || Read it on A03

Genre : romance, friends to lovers (wc: 2.2k) 

Notes: Hiromi Miura is an original character, but readers are free to put themselves into her shoes! Coming of age fics are fun to write but I wanted to explore a world centered around adulthood that included a work life outside one’s significant other. Hope you can give me feedback on whatever world-building I’ve done. Successive chapters will def have more Iwa. 

Hiromi Miura packed the last of her toiletries into her large black check-in luggage. Rolling the luggage out into the hallway, she checked her phone for the third time in ten minutes. Her boss, Hayate Hoshizora stood in the hallway waiting for her with her own luggage standing beside her.

“Where’s Tsuchida?” she asked.

Itsumi Tsuchida was the third member of their team of three and Hiromi’s room mate for the trip. She handled production and logistics so Hiromi and Hayate could write and shoot their articles on food history without worry. Despite her astounding efficiency with her work, Itsumi had a habit of being late.

“Itsumi is almost out. She’ll be here in a minute.” said Hiromi.

The three checked out of the small business hotel before going their separate ways for their last minute shopping. Hiromi wanted to window shop for shoes and cosmetics while Hayate set out to buy some omiyage for her family. Itsumi offered to accompany Hiromi on the condition they stop by for milk tea.

“Let’s meet outside of Time Square before 12 for lunch. I’m going to buy some jerky and maybe some dried goods. Do you guys want anything?” asked Hayate before they set off.

Hiromi declined. Itsumi asked for some jerky for her own omiyage.

As the two junior members of Hayate’s team entered Time Square, Itsumi noticed Hiromi was checking her phone again. She had been doing so whenever she could during the trip.

“Still no texts from Eita?” she asked Hiromi.

“Nope,” sighed Hiromi. Everything had been going smoothly just last week. She had been texting consistently with Eita. He even offered to call. She would send him photos of their first day in Hong Kong and he would eagerly reply.

Come the day before yesterday, he stopped replying all of a sudden. Hiromi had begun to worry that things had fallen apart without knowing why. Their last conversation was on Hong Kong protests. Eita fumed against the injustice, Hiromi agreed with him and nothing came after that. Maybe he joined the resistance?

“I don’t know what went wrong. I thought he liked me.” she moaned, “We have similar political views. Maybe I wasn’t enthusiastic enough when I replied to his call for justice or something.”

“Maybe you should just ask him about it.” Itsumi suggested, rolling her eyes.

“He ignored me for two days what else is there to say?”

“So why are you still looking at your phone?” Itsumi asked, with her brow raised at her co-worker, “Come, let’s go shopping to keep your mind off things.”

————————————————————————————

Hiromi and Itsumi had a penchant for hole in the wall restaurants. For their last meal, they asked to eat at a restaurant at the back of Time Square, nestled between narrow shopping alleyways. It was the first restaurant they ate in upon arrival and it would be their last meal too. They both ordered a bowl of wonton noodle soup and  a serving of bok choy shared between the three of them. Hayate ordered chicken noodle soup for herself.

The restaurant was small and narrow, not to mention humid from all the steaming and the boiling from the kitchen. Although the lunchtime service was quick and brash, the two did not seem to mind. The girls were well-travelled and cosmopolitan. They were used to environments different from the quiet efficiency of Japan. Hayate found it chaotic but the team did not get many out of country assignments so she took what she could.

Hiromi in particular specialized in writing about Southeast Asian diasporic (meaning a scattered population whose origin lies in a separate geographic locale) cuisine. Noise hardly fazed her but apparently boy problems did.

“Hiromi, you looked so forlorn. Are you really that sad about leaving Hong Kong?” she joked. Hiromi’s focus in her work was second to none. Her tolerance to mediocre young men, less so.

“There’s a boy who hasn't been texting back…” trailed Itsumi.

Hayate didn’t pry, but the girls opened up to her for just about anything.

“Oh, hmmm don’t overthink it.” she said.

“It’s ok, I mean he’s smart and artistic and he knows my friends, but I guess I wasn’t interesting enough.” wailed Hiromi in between bites of her noodles.

“Honestly, if he can’t be bothered to speak with you clearly, he doesn’t deserve your time.” said Hayate, sipping her scorching hot red tea burning a bit of throat in the process. Her eyes grew wide as her throat grew numb.

“That’s true, besides I feel like you’re more worried about why he doesn’t like you than the actual relationship.” sighed Itsumi, mixing some soy sauce, chili oil and black vinegar for their wonton dip.

“Enough moping, let’s eat and talk about something else.” exhaled Hiromi, raising her hand to call for cold water for Hayate.

The topic shifted to work. They were excited about editing the photos. Hayate couldn’t wait to unpack but was a little sad about going back to the office again. Itsumi dreaded doing the liquidation and desk work for their Hong Kong trip. Hiromi was buzzing with ideas for their next assignment and was hoping to pitch recipe ideas to the cooking staff at their next meeting.

Just before boarding, a familiar figure caught Hiromi’s eye. A tall, tanned boy with a lean muscular physique stood a few rows in front of her. He was wearing a white shirt and black athleisure pants. Iwaizumi from college?

The three were seated separately on the plane. Hiromi was seated near the back while Hayate and Itsumi were on the second row. As she got to her seat, Hiromi was surprised to find Hajime Iawizumi beside her, blinking sleepily at the seat in front of him.

“Miura-san!” he said in incredulity realizing that his college friend was right beside him in his Hong Kong layover.  

“Iwa! It is you! I thought I saw you while we boarded.” she said, shoving her carry on onto the storage, “Also, do you really have to be so formal?”

“How are you doing?” he asked.

“What are you doing in Hong Kong?” she asked simultaneously.

“I just finished my time in LA. I’m moving back to Japan. This is my last layover.” he yawned, popping a breath-mint into his mouth.

“I work as a food writer and researcher for a publication in Tokyo. My team and I are just finishing up our assignment in Hong Kong. We get out of country assignments from time to time. I’m still kind of new, but when I become a veteran I’m hoping to get more regular trips.”

“Cool! I’m moving to Tokyo next week because I got a gig training members of a Division 1 Volleyball League! This week, I’ll be home to do some laundry and just get things in order.” he said.

“If you need help moving or settling in let me know. I moved to Tokyo just last year.” she offered, “It was crazy.”

Iwaizumi nodded and thanked her for her offer. They continued catching up as the plane took off and soon the stewardess began handing out food.

“I’m so tired of plane food. It’s all I’ve eaten in the past twenty four hours,” he sighed.

“This has definitely got nothing on everything I’ve eaten so far” she exhaled, “I can’t wait to go home, even my own cooking is better than this. I got lots of new recipe ideas to try too.”

“I thought you said you were a writer. Do they make you cook at work too?” he inquired. It seemed like her job required an awful lot of skills for one position.

“I can cook to some capacity. I don’t really cook at work, it just helps if I know how.” she waved.

They ate in silence, chewing through the mediocre airline food.

“By the way, I need some boy advice. Do you have space to hear me out?” she inhaled, gathering her courage before she unloaded her questions on her friend.

“Sure? What about it?” he shrugged.

Hiromi opened up about her latest romance and its frustrations. She gave him a bit of background on who he was and how they started the relationship particularly the wishy washy feelings about their courtship.

“Do you really like this guy? You’re having more questions and doubts than answers. That’s not really a good sign. You can go ahead and be upfront but is this guy worth it?” he asked thoughtfully.

“I don’t know. I want to give it a chance but each time I think about him I get more confused and anxious.” she sighed, putting down her utensils. She bumped her head against the chair in front of her.

“He also hasn’t texted back in a few days without saying why.” she promptly added, looking to him. Iwa jerked back, his arms in a flurry.

“Scratch what I said. I don’t think the relationship is going to work. It’s not serious enough for him if he can’t at least let you know why he goes off the grid.”

Her face fell, shoulders sinking into her back.

“Sorry,” apologised Iwa, pausing to empathize with her.

“I kind of already know this and I guess I just hate uncertainty suspense. I don’t know why I feel so affected to hear it out loud.” she groaned, massaging her temples. Iwa was not good at hearing about boy problems. He didn’t really know what to say.

“Why’d you go for him anyway?” he asked, thoughtfully chewing some eggs and shifting in his seat. The seat was obviously a bit narrow for his shoulders. Hiromi moved a bit to her right to allow him more space.

Her poster straightened up while she plopped her elbows onto the table. She clasped her hands together and thought for a bit before turning to him, her eyes wide and a tad bit glassy.

“He just ticked the boxes you know? I knew him from college and we understand the other worlds we worked in. He’s smart, artistic and apparently he’s been crushing on me since freshman year or something like that. I wasn’t seeing anyone so I thought I’d give it a shot.”

“But why are you adamant to make it work is what I mean?”

Hiromi shrugged her shoulders, “I can’t help but feel like it reflects on me. I feel like I’m not worthy enough when I can’t make a relationship work with someone who ticks the boxes.”

“I really hate dating and letting someone have this much control over my emotions though.” she growled at the chair in front of her.

Iwa had a small smile to himself, glad he was not in her place. She had always been the one better at giving advice when they were in uni together. He wished he could return the favor.

Before he got together with his college girlfriend, he was swimming in a lot of doubts about himself. It was difficult for him to speak about just anyone, but Hiromi was one of few who could coax the subject out of him.

“So how are you two getting on?” Hirom had asked him.

They were sitting together in the school cafeteria for lunch. Usually they sat with common friends and some classmates, but today they were alone which meant she could pry on Iwa’s love life. Even when Iwa wanted to talk about his girl problems, he had difficulty opening up. She saw it as her mission to initiate the conversation to help him out.

Iwa scratched the back of his head and sighed, “I don’t really know how I could be a better replacement for her ex. I’m not her first anything. I’m not any more good looking, or smarter or more athletic than he was. I’m not even nicer. I really don’t know if I’m worth the shot.”

His brow furrowed in concern. His lips were midway between a pout and a scowl.

She choked on her lunch. More often than not, it was Iwa encouraging other people and giving square judgement. Iwa was by no means arrogant, but he was also not self-deprecating. Hearing him speak about himself this so despondently was out of his character.

“Iwa, dating is not a competition!” she managed to say while pounding on her chest. Iwa handed her some water.

“I guess…” he mumbled.

After slugging down some water, Hiromi composed herself, “Yeah, her ex may have been great, but you’re great too! She likes you now which is why even if her ex is still in some of her friend circles she’d still rather date you.”

Iwa perked up a bit and smiled at his food.

“Just because you’re not her first doesn’t mean you can’t have a meaningful relationship right? What’s this obsession with being first? It’s not added value.” she said thoughtfully, putting her face between her hands as she leaned into her tray.

That lunch seemed so long ago. Who would’ve known that their next lunch after college would be a plane in between Hong Kong and Tokyo?

“Hey, are you still using the same email? Let’s keep in touch when we get back. I’m holding you by your promise to show me around.” he grinned, handing her his phone.

She continued sulking in half-hearted despair at the seat in front of her while she took his phone.

“Cheer up! I’m sure you’ll find someone in Tokyo.” he added, settling himself back into his chair looking at her.

-------------------------------------

Taglist: @scrappydaisies @itstheee-ha-chan

[savnofilter]

I think you're hilarious in such a good way and Im new to Tumblr. Your work is amzing and i was wondering if you have any bnha blog recommendations or must read fics?

WARNING! this gets long as SHIT. so im sorry. im on mobile so liek,, also there are shit ton of amazing writers on here but my memory has been terrible as of recently, so sorry about that. all the people mentioned have really good fics so going through their masterlist is the bes option i have on here for you!! also sorry this was so late, i did a lot of username checking and now finally got the balls to post this with their @s cnuidwneovn- also!! be mindful because i was iffy in tagging some because i wasnt too sure if they wrote for bnha anymore. so w/o further adieu!!!now for my fave ao3 fics (with no ranking)~

His Tryanny by goodboysensei (tumblr; @tobobio)

au: fantasy

summary: “Deep in a land just like in the fairy tales, lives 4 different kingdoms. But when a hot headed king of one kingdom wants to take over, he seeks for more power. A girl locked away in a tower for her entire life because of her forbidden power, finds a new life when an ash blonde male comes flying through her window. How will their life play out?”

my thoughts: FUCKINGT AMAZING BOOK LIKE I FUCKING STAN. TT its so fucking good! the angst, the tension, angry bloody bakugo?! fucking check! amazing book!! 12/10 will always recommend. mc will say “million reasons” i be like “his tyranny tho, 👀” (and other books but we have to appreciate my highness rq).

completed: yis!

My Angel by goodboysensei (tumblr; @tobobio)

au: greek mythology

summary: “The infamous fallen angel, serving under Hades (AFO), Bakugou Katsuki, was known for constantly wreaking havoc within heaven. Defying against God and other deities, he was blacklisted from Heaven. (l/n) (y/n) being an elite archangel under Athena (Miruko), is set on a mission to rid of Bakugou Katsuki but takes a 180 when you sudden began developing feelings for the crooked angel during the confrontation – him reciprocating the feelings. Though relationships between a worker of God and a demon was the greatest sin, and faced consequences to those who are caught. ~ Having to sneak around and hide your relationship with the fallen angel how would an archangel keep her status under God while simultaneously keeping an accursed romantic affair.(sorry i suck at summaries lmao)”

my thoughts: you know, i just have a craving to live a life in greekish-mythologyish and reading lore of olympus makes it partly redeemed. but this takes the cake. LIKE?! oh my fucking god! absoluetely love and im still reading it cause im slow asf but its so good so far! and she doesnt at all, the summaries are what got me interested!!

completed: neh~

I’m Broken Too (Shigaraki x Reader x Dabi) by Kikyo851 (quotev; kikyo851/tumblr; @heroes-among-us-all)

au: canon

summary: “What’s a girl to do when she can’t quite make it as a hero? Become a villain, of course.”

my thoughts: okay so youre thinking, “that summary is short asf” but godtdamn the book is motherfucking good dawg. lieke,,, this absolutely fueled my villain spark way back whenever. (you can gladly thank this book and all the dabi fics from @lord-explosion-baku, who also has a book called “thorns” which is also on ao3. i havent read it because im not into that au but it has many good reviews!!)

completed: neh~

Million Reasons by Chub_Rye (other socials; not listed)

au: future canon (?)

summary: “This is not a happy story, you really wished it was but how can it be when your marriage is falling apart. You truly love your husband, the thing is…he doesn’t seem to feel the same anymore ((Trigger warning: this is a very emotional heavy story, you have been warned.)) Inspiration: Million Reasons by Lady Gaga”

my thoughts: 

*if i had the time i would edit to: “im fucking sobbing fam”* because this shit hurtedt. like, HURTEDT. this book, this very book is the reason why fucking katsuki fucking bakugo slapped down the damn rankings on my list. didnt fucking like him for like two weeks, just thinking about him made me mad as FUCK. but its written so good i cant be mad?! i… okay moving on before i start crying and listing reasons why katsuki needs to CHOKE in this damn book. also if you dislike deku then this story will change. you.

completed: neh~

Muted by HecateSG (other socials; not listed)

au: canon

summary: “A collection of short one-shot stories where the reader has lost the ability to speak due to an incident that ranges from accident, to intentional, which now leaves you in the care of at least one of this dashing and intrepid cast of characters. There will be a variety of scenario’s explored and kinks touched upon for all you curious depraved little ones. ~ The only thing these all have in common is that the Reader will remain almost exclusively quiet the entire time ~ The tags will be updated as more chapters are released.”

my thoughts: this is a one-shot book (no cohesive storyline unless chosen) but its so good. so good. i thought shigaraki, dabi and all might in one book was interesting but never the less, super good! i never was interested in the mute concept but its written good? (but thinking about it all the other mute!reader fics are good but they wont nsfw so it didnt interest me-) furthermore, its so good. so pure. so hot. 11/10 would recommend.

completed: neh~

Nightclub AU by sour_pink29 (tumblr; @heros-amoung-us)

au: well… nightclub

summary: “U.A. is the most prestigious and well known nightclub in the world. It takes a high price and a creditable reputation to attend the club, but only because it makes your wildest dreams and fantasies come true. The workers are the best of the best: the 1A class; with the sexiest dancers, flirtatious waitresses and waiters, master bartenders, and high class security. It’s truly no wonder why the rich and famous travel from all corners of the world to have one special night at U.A. ~ As a waitress at the club, you were used to dealing with rich, handsome, high maintenance bachelors. But when 6 mysterious men enter the club and your life, you feel something different spark between you and them as they turn your life on it’s head. For better or for worse… ~ AU where you and the 1A class (and some other characters) are workers at the club. Kaminari, Kirishima, Katsuki, Shoto, Tetsu, Izuku, and Sero are all competing for your attention. ~ WILL INCLUDE NSFW IN SOME CHAPTERS ;)”

my thoughts: THGIS BOOK FUCKIN SLAPS. HANDS DOWN WOULD TOOT MY ASS UP FOR THIS! (thought about dropping my studies and just fucking doing stripper work-) like wow… its a good book and the writer was prob one of the first wirters i followed on here?! (thats if tumblr didnt fucking remove my damn following like it usually does. ._.) enough about that, its really good. i think about it often.

completed: neh~

Plus Ultra! One-shots and Requests by MistressPikachu (FinalVolition) [tumblr; @adelheidvonschicksal]

au: varies

summary: “A place to store all my smaller drabbles for BNHA. NSFW and SFW requests CLOSED!”

my thoughts: um so she write for *everything* but not like everything, everything. so sometimes it be like a red flag so make sure you are reading it carefully on the story you click on! personally, since theyre a good asf writer i usually dip my toe in all of them but sometimes i just cant but the ones i can, i read over and over and over again. worth a million reads tbh. 12/10 would recommend if youre nasty like that (and i KNOW you guys are).

completed: neh~

slutty one shots by cherrykwrites (tumblr; @cherrykwrites)

au: varies

summary: “Collection of some slutty short scenarios. Mostly Bakugo, could include other characters too. ~ Everything will be NSFW in this collection. ~ Themes like non con, underage, alcohol, bdsm, daddy kinks, ect could occur in these writings. ~ These are purely works of fiction and do not reflect reality, I do NOT condone any of the immoral actions written in these.”

my thoughts: so of course i could not leave the og, the real home slice, cherry-mother-k-fuckin-writes- CAN WE CLAP FOR THE QUEEN? so essentially, her shit is good asf. you should read it cause its good asf. shes not around that much but she def is really good! (also has my thinking about writing some tattoo artist!bakugo these days, or even a series for my husbandos…). never thought about sandwhiched between kirishima and bakugo until i came across her fics~

completed: neh~

Euphoria - NSFW Series by NekokoaFanfiction (tumblr; @nekokoafanfictions)

au: varies

summary: “Just a bunch of BNHA characters involved in several different kinks with you. ~ Summary of first chapter: ~ “Katsuki…”That mewl you made was hard to hear but somehow it reached Midoriya’s ears and he gulped as he saw said man standing up from the ground in front of you. A smirk as wide as it can be with his tongue brushing the corners of his mouth as if he just finished eating the best meal of his life.————————- Basically, Midoriya is in for a emotional ride lol”

my thoughts: they are such a good writer. another one-shots book but they will appear once again on the list but this book is just beautiful. and im a perv. so. have fun.

comepleted: neh~

⚠️okay so this is a series of fics from one writer, but instead of making a shit ton on the list (because if this isnt long already) its by the user QuillMind (tumblr; @quillmind) here are some of my faves:⚠️

Incendiary ~ a/b/o, “Mating season has come yet again. Bakugou has even more trouble controlling it than in previous years… and it’s all your fault.”

Mating Hunt ~ a/b/o, “You and Bakugou have been together for some time. Though you both know you only want each other, your bond won’t truly be permanent and known to all until he claims you during mating season. And as impatient as Bakugou is, as an Alpha, he loves a good chase. You decide to give him one.”

Story Time - A Reader x BNHA Multific by WhenSarahSmiles (tumblr; @makethiscanon)

au: fairytale/storybook/canon-ish

summary: “Whilst fighting a powerful villain, you find yourself sucked into the world their quirk created with no memories of your old life. Yet, the men you meet along the way have a familiar feel to them. Perhaps they can help you unlock your memories? ~ A Hero Academia/Fairy Tale mash up, there’s plenty of chaos to follow even if you think you know the classic stories well. ~ [Warning: Explicit Content from chapter 3 onwards] ~ [I will warn you which chapter features the non-con]] ~ “

-> Story one: Little Red Riding Hood (Katsuki Bakugou x Reader)-> Story two: The Little Mermaid (Shouto Todoroki x Reader)-> Story three: Jack and the Beanstalk (Eijirou Kirishima x Reader)-> Story four: The Three Little Pigs (Denki Kaminari x Reader)-> Story five: Sleeping Beauty (Shouto Todoroki x Reader x Katsuki Bakugou)-> Story six: Snow White and the Seven Dwarves (Midoriya, Tokoyami, Sero, Monoma, Ojiro, Shinsou x Reader)

my thoughts: bitch i have no thoughts. i only have THOTS. this is a masterpiece, like ive been lacking, the one im on rn is the kirishima one and it worth the read, and i bet the ones after that have been just as amazing! amazing work 11/10 would recommend.

completed: neh~

Wolves Among Us (Mini Series) by NekokoaFanfiction (tumblr; @nekokoafanfictions)

au: fantasy

summary: “Something about watching him lick your chilled skin was stirring something within you. Your legs started to shiver, but not of the cold that surrounded your slightly exposed body but of a feeling blossoming in the inner regions of your lower stomach. You were getting lost in the rhythm of his pants, wandering in the hazy want of his intense eyes. Your breath began to tremble, and you tried to squeeze your legs together to withstand the odd sensation growing, but he held your leg still and showed no signs of letting go. You were suddenly aware of his hand on your lower thigh, and you noticed that it was the first time a man’s hand had touched there. ~ You were a flower that had yet to bloom in the late of spring. Pure, untouched and suddenly, bombarded with desires. You never shivered in the way a man could make you, and curiosity—maybe naivety, was keeping you from your fear of the beast. —————– Basically, you fall in love with a rude wolf man. ~ Mini series!! Werewolf!Bakugo x Human!Reader, Fantasy AU ~ Inspired by The Company of Wolves by Angela Carter”

my thoughts: i ride this books ASS for updates. my favourite bakugo au’s are fantasy (wit da dragoons) and were!katsuki (haluween). i fucking love it, i love their works. theyre busy with school (like i should be but scholars are all different-) trust me its so good. it has that good spice that make fill my heart with sexy uwuwuwuwuwuwuwus. love it.

completed: neh~

Katsuki Bakugo Scenario Collection by Hvalross (tumblr; @cutesuki–bakugou)

au: varies

summary: “A collection of oneshots and scenarios I’ve done for Bakugou, both personal works and requests on my blog Cutesuki-Bakugou. ~ Please note that the rating of each story will be in the notes of the chapter. Stories range from TEEN to EXPLICIT.”

my thoughts: oh my god. i reread this one chap over and over and over and over and over and over- and over again. the stories range from cute to just good smut and its so good. so beautifully written. and i cant help but just appreciate it. love it sm. (also sorry if i tagged the wrong tumblr im confsued as to which one you use ahaha)

completed: neh~

Wish the World Away by hoshigalaxy (other socials; not listed)

au: canon

summary: “bakugou katsuki is the number one hero. but with this title comes a huge target on his back. sometimes it’s better to stay single when you’re a pro hero. there could be accidents. ~ but that’s three years in the past now and bakugou is slowly moving on from what’s happened. that is until he runs into his mysterious new neighbour and things get complicated again.”

my thoughts: ;-; this one hits different. almost like a million reasons type of different. i dont want to spoil it but godt damn man. there is so much to be uncovered but it really hasnt been updated. (cri) its a beautiful book tho. fingers crossed for when it updates next.

completed: neh :

Up in Smoke. (Soulmate AU) by Grapelimeade (tumblr; @gojirabbit)

au: well,, soulmate

summary: “Bakugou doesn’t want a fucking soulmate.”

my thoughts: may i say…it is such a stark contrast to Million Reasons. it is so fucking captivating i will not shit you. this book, is amazing. im just saying, that midoriya scene tho,, 👀 that kirishima friendship,, 💪🏽 its so good…? got me panting for the next chap (and no not like that weirdos but there is nsfw because when tf do you catch me reading a fic without nsfw…?) but i recommend. mc: million reasons tho me: up in smoke tho-

completed: neh~

Vermilion by Morgana_Ren (tumblr; @morgana-ren)

au: canon

summary: “Tomura Shigaraki had a goal. It started out simple enough. Kill All Might, and watch the society that revered heroes above all else crumble to dust alongside their idol. However, what originally starts off as a chance encounter with a UA student during the battle of USJ sends him reeling down the crooked path of obsession.”

my thoughts: its just…? my shigaraki thirst was sparked from this very story. it good, supplies my shifty hands needs and it suffices the boiling lust in my clit. wish we’d see more cause i love it already and it blends the story line well. love it. 11/10

completed: neh~

words hurt [Bakugo Katsuki x Reader] by QueenExplosionMurder (tumblr; @strawberryandspiceandchocolate)

au: canon

summary: “*more tags to be added* ~ when Bakugo Katsuki friendzones the reader, their friendship takes a nose dive off of the face of the earth and he doesn’t hear from her for a while. that is until she is suddenly thrown back into his life, quite literally actually…”

my thoughts: well you think i can go a post without tagging my president? youre fucking wrong. i have actually posted my own prev of her book which you can find here. i am just astonished at well the mood is (because tb when all i would talk about is mood) because mood is just good. it doesnt seem cliche to me. cant wait until the next update.

completed: neh~

You and Yamada by Jo_Rutherford_Lee (other socials; not listed)

au: varies

summary: “Just a few short Present Mic/Reader PWPs I needed to get out of my head.”

my thoughts:

i love this book. couldnt find the yamada book i was looking for but i would be lying if this doesnt revive my yamada love every once in awhile. (jk i found the book but this one is really cute and a quick read!!)

completed: yis

Singed Rose Petals: (Alpha) Dabi x (Omega) Reader by Smutsy (other socials; not listed)

au: a/b/o

summary: ““The villains were always ugly in books and movies. Necessarily so, it seemed. Because if they were attractive - if their looks matched their charm and their cunning - they wouldn’t only be dangerous. They would be irresistible.” - Nenia Campbell”

my thoughts: ohhhh because you guys thought that i’d go through a post without mentioning dabi? LOL so,, this book has brought many many many happy coochie tingles to me. i would murder to be dabi’s omega. and DAS on baby. never was really interested in a/b/o stuff till i read this. love it so much 11/10.

completed: yis

special mentions:

BNHA Brothel by orphan_account [multiple, unfinished]

Hero Killer’s Charge by VulcanCaptain [stain x reader, unfinished]

Mouth Moods by Koalolive (twitter; renlup) [present mic, unfinished]

and god please dont fucking roast me i had a hawks faze. Birb Office for Birbs by insanityrunsinthe_family

[mayorofcattown]

lol it’s been a while, but finally making an update on the original VN I’ve been (very slowly) working on. I meant to do this like a month ago but wanted to finish up some sketches first and then all of well everything happened and I got distracted oops. planning on just posting most general updates on here tho, there’s not much point putting original stuff behind a paywall atm, I figure the better way to get ppl interested is to talk abt it here

anyway I’ve decided to just jump right into making it rather than trying to make another smaller game, mostly cause I haven’t had any better ideas and also cause the coding was honestly easier than I expected anyway.

Been making some progress on the design/aesthetic stuff (like the logo and sprite/menu roughs above), plus some boring back end stuff setting up some of the mechanics/systems the game is gonna use in renpy, which tbh sounds way fancier than it is... but anyway this will get long so I’m gonna put the rest under the cut

I posted it above, but I made a new logo! I honestly wasn’t planning to at first, I was just making some minor updates to it so I could try out some interface layouts, and then next minute I’d been fussing with it for like four hours, oops. But I like the way it turned out (tho I might fiddle with the i a bit more...) it fits the aesthetic nicely, tho I still need to make an actual like. vector version of it to actually use in things

here’s a comparison of it next to the old one if anyone’s curious (old one is top)

anyway, as for the game itself I’ve mostly just been setting up the different stat systems, and I’ve got a working glossary, stats and friendship system going, though they’re very bare bones at the moment, as you can see below

they weren’t actually as hard to put in as I thought they would be tbh, the glossary was actually harder weirdly enough ha ha. though they’ll probably get more complicated once there’s actual Content to deal with...the actual game itself is still very basic tho

I have been doing some interface designs, all still very rough wireframes tho. most of them honestly were basically illegible to anyone but me, but I do have this nicer looking wireframe of the stats page that I put together. I tried to work as much with the existing renpy layout as possible, as editing the layouts of things in renpy is a Huge Pain compared to just changing colours and slapping nice background art in is lol. the fourth character here is a character who I’m still working on finalising some of the design and story for, so I can’t show her yet, but Soon

one new character I Can show off tho (as you can see from the first sprite art I posted, ignore how messy it is, they were mostly just to rough out the interface) is this guy:

I am very indecisive abt names but I’m like 90% settled on naming him ‘Kai Parata’, he’s a young mechanic working at his family’s mechanic place where he mostly works repairing mechanical pets. He and Trinity become very good friends ;)

On the subject of the story, I haven’t been working on it as actively as the other parts, in the sense that I haven’t written any actual scripts or anything, mostly just spit balling ideas around parts of the story I’ve been struggling with. I’ve had this story idea since I was like, 15, and that’s definitely meant a lot of the writing process has been course correcting Bad Ideas I came up with when I was a teen lol. And the ‘bad idea’ I’d been struggling with lately was the police elements of the setting. I’d been pretty hmm abt it for a year or two now already but these last few months were uhh definitely the nail in the coffin that made me actually commit to changing it. While the story never really framed them as ‘good’, I mean its a dystopia the cops being shitty is basically a genre requirement, and it’s a fairly minor part of the story, I still didn’t feel anyone would be comfortable reading abt it, and I def wasn’t comfortable writing it anymore.

But once I actually dug into it, I realised it wasn’t actually super critical to the story, I’d rly only made a cop character in the first place cause I needed something to contrast a ‘hacker’ and that’s the first thing I thought of, but once I thought abt it there were wayy better options. Turns out making the character guy working in security at the big wig tech firm Skyler hacks into accomplishes literally the exact same beats story wise, fits way better with the story’s themes and world building, and also gave me a tonne of ideas for his backstory which I’d been stuck on for a while. And it isn’t going to make people’s skin crawl anywhere near as much... It’s certainly a much better direction for the story either way.

Anyway, that about wraps up most of what I’ve been working on. Next I’m probably going to start setting up the interface designs in game, and (hopefully) actually plotting out some of the story. I might also do some rough sprites and things too. Also actually design some of the environments too oops... anyway we’ll see.

Currently my plans for actually releasing stuff is probably just work on the game until I’ve got most of the core elements designed/implemented, and then just release a demo of the first few chapters for ppl to play so I can test it/gain interest. I had been considering doing like a mini spinoff first, but I never had any good ideas lol so I’ve just decided to go with a demo version. Who knows how long it’ll be before that happens tho, while the story doesn’t need to be finished I will need a p decent portion of the art done to even release anything. But things are getting there ya know

[thewritewolf]

Nino’s Quest Chapter 8: The Quest Begins Again

Adrien and Marinette are a stuttering mess for reasons unknown to the Lord DM, but that won't stop him from pushing this story forward. The party seeks out a dread enemy - The Necromancer!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 (Final)

Enjoy!

Read on Ao3.  My ko-fi.

Nino knocked at the door to the familiar apartment and heard his girlfriend’s voice call, “Come in!”

Stepping inside, the first thing he noticed - after Alya, of course - was the bags of groceries on the table. A warm smile lit up his face as he recognized them as the ingredients for one of his favorite meals that he’d ever had at the Cesaire household.

“Is all this for me, babe?”

Alya quirked an eyebrow and put a hand on her hip. “Well, I was hoping that you’d share with the rest of the party…”

“Hm…” He tapped at his cheek, pretending to give it some thought. “I guess that’s a fair deal. Need a hand cooking it up?”

She scoffed. “No, but I wouldn’t turn down help if you’re offering.”

The sound of chopping vegetables and the sizzle of the meat on the stove was all the noise that passed between them for a few minutes. The two of them worked well together, especially when it came to the kitchen. As Nino was busy cutting the carrots, he finally broke the silence.

“So where is everyone today?”

“You probably guessed Nora is at a tournament. If you did, congrats - you were right.” Alya leaned back against the counter and crossed her arms. “Took awhile but she’s finally in a league that she doesn’t just completely wreck instantly.”

Nino nodded along. “That’s totally sweet. She needs to be challenged if she’s gonna get any better.”

“Her point exactly. Ella and Etta are with mom and dad. They were going to the park, then to a movie. We should be clear for the next few hours, at least.”

“That’s not far off from what our last couple dates have been like.” Nino chuckled. “Park, movies, although we did go out for dinner a few days ago…”

“It’s good exercise. Can’t be too out of shape when Ladybug calls us back into the fight.”

“Right on. And if we are already out and about, it's way easier for you to go charging into an akuma battle phone-first, yeah?”

Alya had the decency to blush at that. “So, ah, you noticed that, huh?”

“Mhm. Don’t worry, babe. It’s all good to me, so long as we’re chillin’ together.”

“Aw, thanks babe.” She turned around to stir the rice some more. Still stirring, she asked over her shoulder, “By the way, have you seen the footage of the last akuma battle?”

He snorted. “Babe you say that as if you don’t have me read all your posts to edit them.”

“Okay, fair. So you’ve noticed that Ladybug and Chat Noir have been acting… kinda weird lately?”

“Understatement of the year. Stealing glances at each other, stutters when they actually manage to talk to each other, all those blushes. They’re the second biggest mess of all the couples in Paris.”

“And the biggest mess is our babies, right?”

“Yup.” Nino dumped the carrots in with what Alya was stirring. “All props to Ladybug and Chat Noir though - they’re giving our kids a run for their money, even though Marinette has had way more practice being awkward. And my boy Adrien is right there with the best of ‘em.”

Alya sighed. “It’s a mess. But I bet we can fix-”

“Babe.”

“What? I’m just saying if we-” Nino put a finger on her lips, silencing her despite the glare she shot his way.

“You gotta let them figure it out on their own. They’ll get there eventually.”

“Yeah? Well, let’s see how you feel after this session. You haven’t had to see them together nearly as much as I have.”

“Yeah, I really wish Ms. Bustier would start letting us do groups of four.” He paused. “Is it seriously that bad?”

Her eyes widened for a moment, remembered exasperation crossing her face. “You’ll see, cappy.”

Her phone went off. “Well, that’s them. Just in time for lunch, too.”

---------------------

As he’d expected, Marinette and Adrien were quiet and blushy as ever. This ultimately left the leadership of the party in Alya’s hands - a task that she was uniquely qualified for as they sought out leads for the Necromancer’s lair.

“Alright, dudes. We’ve all leveled up. You’ve just finished shopping in the marketplace and you’re ready to leave town on a moment’s notice. But you’ve got no clue on where to head out. What’re you going to do about it?”

Silence greeted him as Alya looked between their friends and the way they very deliberately avoided each other’s eyes while surreptitiously staring as much at each other as possible.

“Right, well…” Her eyes sparked as an idea occurred to her. “So we’re basically drumming up leads, right? Doing research, chasing down rumors of this bad guy?”

“Yeah, babe, you got it.”

She rubbed her hands together in excitement. “Now that is something I can do. What’s the marketplace look like? What sort of people do I see there?”

“Besides the locals? Rough mercenary types, travellers dusty from the road, wandering merchants, that sort of thing.”

There was a pause as she narrowed her eyes in thought. “Tell me more about the travellers. What do they look like?”

He rolled a perception check behind his DM screen. “You notice that a bunch of ‘em are sticking together and they’ve got kids with them. Their threads are pretty similar too, like they got ‘em from the same place. They seem pretty uneasy, casting suspicious looks around them.”

“It’s not normal for wanderers to take their children with them, yeah?”

“Not usually, no. Unless they’re nomads.”

She shook her head. “Nah. Nomads wouldn’t be that freaked out by new people. It sounds like they’re country folk that were driven into the city. Which means…”

“...Refugees?” Adrien supplied, frowning at the table.

“Only one way to find out. I’ll walk up to them.” Alya cleared her throat and adopted her character’s voice. “Excuse me, can I ask you where you’re from?”

Nino dropped his voice an octave. “Doesn’t matter much anymore, does it? Nothing left to go back to now.”

“What do you mean?”

“‘Strange happenings up in the mountains, lass. Smoke billowing out. Scared me to my bones, it did. We picked up and headed out.’ The dude gets a distant look, like he’s remembering the sight. ‘Been on that farm for six generations. But I hear we were the lucky ones.’”

“I thank him for his time. What do you guys think?”

Marinette and Adrien seemed to have forgotten their embarrassment for the moment. Adrien shuffled his character sheets again. “Do I know any legends about the mountains? Like, monsters that lived up there, or old forts? Maybe it’s not the Necromancer at all but something else.”

Nino took a long sip of his pop. “Roll it.”

A grin split Adrien’s face as the die landed high. “What’ve you got for me, bro?”

“You remember hearing stories about a lost dwarven city out there. It went quiet decades ago, though.”

“Dwarves…” Marinette cupped her chin, her eyebrows creased with worry. “Like, big forges, deep mines, strong doors? Enough space to arm and equip and army? That sort of dwarves?”

Nino finger gunned at her. “One and the same, my dude!”

Alya buried her face in her hands. “Fantastic. If the Necromancer isn’t there, I bet he wished he was. Let’s go.”

“Don’t we want to look for other clues?” Marinette asked.

“Y-yeah.” Adrien swallowed heavily, dragging his eyes away from Marinette to Alya. “He could be somewhere else.”

“Doubt it. And even if he isn’t, someone is driving honest people away from their homes. Necromancer or no, we’ve got to do something about it.”

Steely determination dawned on their faces. “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil…” Marinette began.

“...Is that good people do nothing,” Adrien finished. “Guess it’s settled then.”

With their goal in mind, the rest of the session was spent on travel. They met more people on the road - battered survivors and the usual wanderers alike. It put a strain on their supplies, but they helped out as best they could while approaching their destination. After a couple hours of social encounters and skill checks to help the displaced, they were close.

“Looming on the horizon are the great western mountains. While they’re usually supes gorgeous, something about ‘em feels off. Just like the farmer dude said, there are smoke plums coming from somewhere in the mountain range. And that…” Nino said as he closed his DM notebook, “Is where we’ll end today’s session. If you chose right, next session might totally be the end of the Necromancer, and this adventure.”

The tapping of Adrien’s pen came to a stop, Marinette’s packing finished, and even Alya looked up from her character sheet. All of them wore similar expressions of surprise.

“Wow, really? It doesn’t feel like its been that long…” Alya muttered.

Marinette frowned. “It can’t be almost over already, can it?”

“No way!” Adrien brushed the thought aside. “I’m sure we’ve got plenty of adventures still in us.”

“That’s up to you, my dudes. This campaign might be almost over, but there could be more.” Nino shrugged and chugged the last of his pop. “If you want to, I mean. But anyway, that’s a question for later.”

Slightly more somber, they finished packing up. Adrien took Marinette and Nino home

----------------

Direct Message to Adrien

Nino: So Bro Wanna tell me whats goin on between you and M?

Adrien: There isn’t anything Which is half the problem But don’t worry about it

Nino: No can do We’re best buds Its my job to worry about you

Adrien: And I get that I really do! But you’ve gotta trust me There isn’t anything you can do Sorry :(

Nino: Well… okay. I’m here if you need me dude

Adrien: I know [heart emoji]

-----

Direct Message From Alya

Alya: Did he tell you anything?

Nino: Nah, babe Clammed up U?

Alya: dang No Mari is hiding something Not sure if it is a BAD something But def something

Nino: Not much we can do about it I guess Just let ‘em figure it out

Alya: Speak for yourself, cappy Theyre almost there They just need… ...a little push

Nino: Alya...

Alya: What? It won’t be much Just a gentle nudge Really

Nino: [eye roll emoji] Alright fine What did you have in mind?

Alya: heh heh heh Okay so! We get them into class early Like SUPER early Maybe like an hour

Nino: Alright… Tough to pull off Esp for Mari But doable

Alya: ...and then we lock the door behind them And we leave them alone We don’t open it until either they’re dating Or class starts Preferably the former

Nino: That’s What No Stop

Alya: Why not? It worked for us And it smells a whole lot nicer too

Nino: point You know what? Sure We’ll do it Otherwise we might be waiting on them for a g e s

Alya: I knew you’d see it my way. ;)

[olberic]

vesperia ask meme from this post 

👤 favourite character?

pretty even tie between raven and patty! love their backstories. love their development. love their thottiness

👥 most used party?

yuri or flynn / raven / patty / rita ! yuri or flynn depends on what mood im in or if i want extra healing

👍 who do you play as most?

still yuri, but ive been playing as patty a lotttt more lately

👎 who do you play as least?

estelle and judith.... i love them but im so bad at targeting estelle’s spells and i can’t keep judith in the air for longer than like.. 20 hits....

🌆 favourite town?

aurnion!! the music is so so good, i love that its a base of sorts for a lot of the npcs, and i really like that its like in a corner of a mountain too! i’d live there

🏞 favourite dungeon?

manor of the wicked, mostly bc i spent sooo much time grinding in and around there! honourary mention for tarqaron for having the best soundtrack tho

🌎 is there anywhere on the world map that’s comforting to you?

i love the zopheir drifts! 

😴 what inn do you go to most often?

the one in myorzo even tho its super inconvenient bc it has everyone sharing a bed which i think is super cute 

🎧 favourite song on the soundtrack?

YES i listen to the soundtrack all the time YES i have these memorized: breath of resonance (aurnion), fury sparks (vs flynn), twisted blades (vs zagi), oath of the union (dahngrest), tragic resolution (sad music from the post-cumore confrontation), dark conspiracy and the tower of contraption (upper ghasfarost), radiant light fostering life (egothor forest), the world at your fingertips (zaude), brooding omen (tarqaron)

🦅 most fun giganto beast to fight?

BRUTAL BY FAR... it spawns so often and u can get ur allies to distract the summons and just 1v1 it w a paralysis charm

🐆 favourite monster?

first time i had to fight a skunky i nearly cried i can’t kill them i always run away

🐉 favourite boss?

fight wise? probably gauche and droite bc they’re fun or estelle bc she’s really easy to practice combos on! character wise its schwann bc ill admit it i simp for raven

⚔️ most fun battle?

again probably gauche and droite, and outside of bosses it’d be the wrath nails in the labyrinth of memories! if u take flynn and just use dazzling glare on them two or three times you get a fatal strike and its fun to make a 300000 hp total battle go down to like. 6 hits

💀 hardest boss battle?

besides the first gattuso def the cameos in the tag team battle... how many times have i gotten barbatos almost dead before he gets healed and my healers get sealed... then stressing about the time left for the party battle im sick of it im SICK 

✨ favourite mystic arte?

raven’s wink in crisis rain it’d be wolf fury if not for the rare time i can get seifer with summon friends

🎉 any victory quotes that stand out to you?

“our weapons are love!” “justice!” “sexualityyyyy” “WOULD YOU STOP” 

and besides that i love patty’s “the queen of the seas has arrived!” and yuri and flynn’s fistbump bc those are cute 

🥰 favourite NPC?

i didn’t really have any for this game?? like i much prefer the PCs but also... gauche and droite hold a special place in my heart, and nan won me over with her development. also yeager. kakyoin lookin ass

🧥 favourite outfits?

yuri: true knight + the hairpins attachment. i’d die for the ponytail

estelle: her default is actually my fave, but heroic actress for the ristelle

repede: not an outfit but overdrive brigade or bust

karol: warehouse master! i love the jacket

rita: seeker. its what she deserves

raven: that summer guy bc his hair in that has me 😳 and also adept assassin

judith: draconic lancer or glamourous maid... i am not immune to hot girl

patty: pirate queen bc its what she deserves

flynn: benevolent beneficiary and its soley because of the thigh holster

👕 least favourite outfits?

whoever decided on yuri’s yumanju/swim outfits needs to be JAILED... miska doctoral degree and the frog outfit and sultry temptress and dont get me started on the xmas and samurai ones 

🎥 favourite skit?

POINTS SKIT POINTS SKIT

❤️ did you ship any characters?

from the moment rita blushed at estelle i was hooked on them... also yuri/flynn is like. too canon to not love. also raven/literally anyone except karol (son) and rita (lesbian)

💔 any ships you don’t like?

yuri/estelle and flynn/estelle bc i can’t stomach her not being a rita im not even joking 

🏥 what healer do you use most?

raven! i usually don’t need more than a few love shots and i have more than enough items to make up for the lack of recovery spells

🗺 most enjoyed side quest / side quest chain?

do i even have to say best friends? and the sicily ones are pretty fun and i also like seeing nan in the hunting blades ones

🤢 most annoying side quest / side quest chain?

FUCK GUILD QUEST ALL MY HOMIES HATE GUILD QUEST

🔪 what difficulty do you play on most often?

normal for now sjvbksdvjbs i plan on doing hard next tho

💯 solo coliseum fights or tag team coliseum fights?

tag team bc i love fighting the others! i usually bring raven but by god do i love rita and schwann’s dialogue in the knights fight

➕ have you played the EX new game plus?

not yet! i’ll be doing that for the mid-hundreds levels tho 

🔨 are there any weapons you always keep equipped?

meteorite blade and defender for yuri, strike eagle +1a and misericorde for raven, holy avenger for estelle, beserker heart for flynn, song of gaia for rita, brionac for judith, and leoluca + black thunder for patty

🗣 do you play dubbed or subbed?

dubbed

🎮 which is your favourite minigame (warehouse, draspi, snowboarding, poker, dragon rider)?

fuck minigames but gun to my head i had to pick one it’d be poker bc the mechanics make sense

🗡 yuri or flynn?

sorry king but it’s yuri for this one yall had me with the vigilantism 

👑 ioder or estelle?

estelle obvs tho ioder is def the better choice for emperor

🏹 raven or schwann?

raven bc hes a thot and not a bootlicker but id be lying if i said schwann couldnt get it

👯‍♀️ gauche or droite?

gauche 

💪 hunting blades or leviathan’s claw?

leviathan’s claw! even if the hunting blades werent awful i’d still pick them bc i love LOVE the serpent’s fang lore and how the guild itself is linked to patty’s backstory and also. also yeager. 

🏠 zaphias or dahngrest?

dahngrest! i truly cannot stand the empire imagine living there

🏕 inns or camping?

inns 100% i will go so far out of my way to make them share rooms rather than camping which is so so boring 

👾 original or definitive edition?

definitive! its the only one ive played, i love patty too much to ever play the og, and being available on the switch is so good

🎢 what difficulty do you play on?

oh my god. oh my god i put this question in twice FUCK

💿 have you played any other tales games?

not yet :-( i love this one too much to change tho i do have beseria bought and ready to go

👬 have you watched first strike?

not yet :-(((( i havent found it anywhere yet but i heard raven’s in it and im. im

⏱ how long have you spent on the game?

....190 hours and counting.....

🗻 what part of the game are you at right now?

working through the 200 man melees now! once i finish those (ive only got yuri and raven done so far)

✅ how did you decide to start playing?

1 i heard it was similar to octopath 2 i thought it was turn based going into it SKJSBDVKSJDVB 3 saw a gif of yuri and flynn on here somewhere and thought aw shit guess i’ll start this game if there’s an active fandom (NOT THAT THERE’S MUCH OF ONE) 4 the game was on sale sdbksdvjbksdjv

[alrightinbed-betterwithapen]

Clever Little Things — Part Four — D. Dobrik x Reader

A/N: hey y’all I’ve been working with @poisxnyouth to finish this part up. She is my lovely ⁉️ anon and really fucking killed this part. I ABSOLUTELY couldn’t have done it without her. She is the official co-writer of CLT now and I adore her!!! This is def the best piece I’ve ever put out and its thanks to her. I hope you guys enjoy it as much as we did churning it out! Give her a follow too!! @poisxnyouth @poisxnyouth @poisxnyouth ♥️♥️♥️

Masterlist

Warnings: cussing, super Smut, rough blowjob, just the smuttiest thing I’ve ever written and it’s unholy in the best way!

Summary: You and David come to terms with your fucked up relationship and set some boundaries.

——

David becomes so much more aggressive than he has any right to the following day. You’re all finally heading out to Chicago and when he’s not ignoring you, David is shooting you sour looks as you speak, interrupting and ending any conversation you’re in, just being an all around dick. But, what’s new?

You deal like always and thank god that David does actually ignore you during the travel part of the day. You can sleep on the plane and pretend you’re not obsessed with the bruise covered by your hoodie around your wrist from the night before. You think maybe that’s it. Maybe he won’t talk to you about it until he’s initiating your next late night rendezvous. Maybe you’ll just get the asshole you’re expecting. 

You’re right and you’re wrong.

——

David trudges his ass to your hotel room at one in the morning, banging entirely too loud for not knowing whether or not you’re sleeping. Luckily, you’re finishing up Trish’s vlog and only slightly roll your eyes as you hear him bellow through the door, “Hurry up and let me in. What the fuck? You can’t be doing anything that important!”    

You let the man in, but not before scolding him, “You know, a text would be nice. I’m not even working on Jason’s vlog right now. You don’t need to be here to edit. I know you don’t want any of Trish’s footage this week, it’s boring shit.”

“Yeah, you’re right. So, get started on Jay’s now,” he’s idly telling you as he plops down on the arm chair near the windows of your room, pulling open his laptop. You wonder when this man will stop surprising you with his arrogance, you think that day will never come. He’s constantly one upping himself.

“It’s done, I’ll pull it up in Final Cut. Tell me if you want me to change anything,” you say, taking the other armchair and pulling on only one of your head phones as you dive back into Trisha’s edit. It doesn’t take long though, you’re done within half an hour and start going through some business emails you’ve been putting off. David breaks the silence, out of the blue.

“So… how many other guys are you hate fucking in your spare time to need birth control?” You see red instantaneously. Like burning fire in your soul angry, red. There’s silence so you can compose yourself and not lunge across the small table at him.

“What?” he continues in your livid stillness, “I want to watch you text them you’re getting better dick now.” And the asshole doesn’t even look up from editing or pause the noise from the clips. He acts like he’s asking you for a time stamp of something, casual as shit. But, he gives himself away and you realize the game he’s playing, looking down at his screen but foot tapping nervously on the hotel’s bland carpet. You take back control of the situation.

“Oh Dave, I can’t believe you think that’s how this works,” you say, slowing your speech like he’s stupid. You settle back and brush off your anger to a low hum in the back of your mind. He tenses in his seat. He wants to play games with you? Well, he can try. 

An even longer silence is cast into the room than before, and you briefly think you might have won, you might have caused the man to lose his nerve and back down from whatever he’s playing at, but he doesn’t. David never backs down.

“Why didn’t you suck my dick last night?" And that genuinely makes you chuckle, but you don’t tear your eyes away from what you’re doing.

"What makes you think you deserved it?” You answer back, shrugging a shoulder, no real interest in your voice for where he’s taking this conversation. (Your voice is a fucking liar.)  

He dodges your question though, continuing on like you hadn’t even spoke, "It’s a shame really, I wanted to fuck the shit out of your throat.“ 

That makes your breath hitch slightly and you swallow silently before continuing to type away at an email, maintaining composure. His words would bring the picture to mind, vividly. The image is tantalizing, but you mostly think about the noises he’d make. Would he make the same low groans he expelled as he came in you, curse through gritted teeth, or perhaps dirty talk the whole experience, narrating above you? All three, maybe? Hopefully.

"You talk a big game, but you come like a teenager.” You’re taunting, nonchalant about it, playing the same game he is. You’re still just typing out emails, acting like they are the most interesting thing on the planet. He’s so angry, you can feel it radiate off of him. It makes you smirk. 

“Shut the fuck up! My ex would never let me do the shit I wanted to. It’s been ages since I’ve fucked anybody like that. God, I fucking hate you. So judgmental all the goddamn time,” he snaps, lip snarled and frustration evident on him now.  You look at him, meet his eyes and watch them flicker up and down your body. You scowl and go back to your computer. He’s so gross and shallow. How can you be hurt but, also eye fuck someone? 

“What about my body language says I want to fuck you again?” You ask, no sympathy in your voice for his last statement. The night is just full of 180′s when it comes to both your moods, because then he’s trying and failing to stifle a laugh.

“You’re too obvious, (Y/N). ‘Oh, David! Don’t stop, don’t stop, pleeeease,’” he mocks, delight alive on his features as he mimics you from the night prior, “I could tell you were surprised with how quick you came too. And I’m not blind. Whenever you look at me, you look at my lips. You’re so fucking thirsty." 

The only comeback you can think to blurt out is, "Yeah, well, you came as soon as I fucking scratched you. Pussy." 

"We can try to extend that, if you want." 

"Who’s thirsty now?" 

"Fucking me. At least I’m not in denial about it,” he’s griping, as you roll your eyes. 

“I’m not in denial. You just don’t deserve the satisfaction,” This time, he’s the one to roll his eyes, breathing out a puff of air that lifts his dark locks off his forehead slightly.

“Why the hell do you hate me so much? I’m literally telling you that I want to see you come!”

“Pretty sure we’ve already had this conversation. You’re an asshole,” you clarify, hands still posed on your keyboard, but attention on the man across from you.

“Well, you’re a bitch. But that doesn’t change the fact that the thought of having you come all over my fingers while I’m between your legs turns me on,” he’s saying, face flushing just a bit. You don’t know if it’s from arousal or irritation.

“You really are a teenager,” you’re replying, smirk painted on your lips.

David scoffs and goes silent. He looks like he can’t believe whats going on around him. He is trying to compliment you, but it’s not working. He doesn’t say anything else. He’s fuming. He wants you so badly, but his pride is getting in the way. 

He slams his laptop shut and stands.

“Get up,” he orders. He’s not even done with the video but he can’t bring himself to focus on it, anyway. You give him a look, but obey. It makes him feel good, like he’s proud of himself that you listened.

“What the fuck, David?” you ask, no real exasperation in your tone. He moves to stand in front of you, jerking your head up by the chin, forcing you to make eye contact with him. He tilts his head down to put his lips by your ear.

“I’m not going to let other men fuck you, if you can even call what they do fucking. Are they good?” 

You nod with his hand still gripping your face. It tightens when he barks at you, “Speak!” 

You’re not a dog, you think vehemently, but you obey again anyway.

“Yes, they are,” you admit, his fingers seeming to tighten with each syllable of your answer, until the pain spikes and makes you shiver. 

“Wrong answer. Let me rephrase: Are they good compared to me? Be honest.” He looks like a pompous king when you squeak out a tiny, No, David. His laugh is hot on your face and you can’t help the moan that comes out when he traces the bottom of your earlobe with his lips, as he finishes, “There it is.”

(The sound from you inflates his ego by a million. And it seems like he could get used to this, a sultry look of power on his face when he pulls back.)

“Take out your phone,” he orders. You fumble out of his touch, searching for it on the bed. When you find it, he gives you a look, holding out his palm.

“Oh, fuck you! I’m not giving you my phone.” He manhandles you, thoughtlessly jerking you towards him by the hips. David grips them tightly, nails digging in through your t-shirt. It makes you squirm.

“Give it,” he demands, voice leaving no room for argument. You’re chest to chest now, looking up at him through your eyelashes. Reluctantly, you slide it in his shirt pocket, not looking up at his gaze now.

“Password?” he asks, removing his hands from your body and taking it out.

“Fuck off. That’s my business.” He sighs, slapping the phone on the palm of his hand. He holds it out, like he’s giving it back to you. David almost seems disappointed, but there has to be a catch.

“Fine. I’m gonna leave.” 

You gawk at him.

“I’m serious. I don’t fuck with that multiple fuckbuddy shit. If you still want to do that, fine, but I know I fucked you good and I know it’ll only get better. I can walk out of here, let you fuck someone you meet on the street, and they’ll be like a virgin compared to me. I’m not doing that shit. We can both do better.” 

What a smug little bitch. He was right, though, and you hated it.

“And,” he added, “if I walk out that door, I can guaran-fucking-tee you’ll be calling me back here in an hour, begging to have my cock shoved down your throat. You put on this front of being a strong-willed bitch, which you are, and I do respect that about you, but it’s so fucking obvious you’re just begging to have someone tear you apart,” he’s slowly backing you against the nearest wall, deft hands sliding your phone into your front pocket as he rants at you. 

Your back hits the flat surface and his weight goes to rest on the arm not holding your chin as he brackets you in and makes intense eye contact, meaning every word he says, “You want someone who can be possessive with you, you want to belong to someone and cum for someone. So… Why. Would. You. Turn. Me. Down. When. All. I. Want. Is. To. Supply. That. For. You?” His voice is softer and slower now, almost a whisper, and he has a dumb, smug smile plastered on his face. He mockingly strokes your jaw with the side of his index finger, his eyes piercing into yours. 

“You want to pay attention to me, (Y/N). In fact, it’s the only thing you’ve been doing this whole trip. I’m not saying I haven’t been doing the same. All of that is fine, but at least fucking own up to it.” With his last sentence, his voice goes stern. It turns you on, but you don’t want to think about that. Part of you wants to kick him out just to be a bitch, but you know that’s what he’s expecting of you. You stay where you are.

“You don’t even know me,” you half heartedly accuse.

He scoffs at that with an amused edge to his voice.

“Maybe not, but do I have to?” the words oddly sting a little, “I can already see you sneaking glances at me and poking at the marks I left. You crave it, (Y/N) and it’s like, painstakingly obvious. Every time I touch you, you fucking lean into it,” and as he says this, he moves his free hand from your jaw to your throat. 

You want him so badly to wrap his fingers around it and squeeze, but he opts for hair-raising strokes down the column of your throat. His smile is smug as you take his hand in yours, guiding his fingers to wrap around. He doesn’t squeeze. He already knows you too well, and he’s pretty proud about it. He becomes cockier and continues his tangent, “You want this. I know you do. You want it just as badly as me, maybe even more than I do.”

You keep your eyes level with his, watching him glance back and forth between your lips, your throat, and your eyes. He has a smile playing on his lips, eyebrow cocked and briefly, you think it’s the hottest thing you’ve ever seen. You find your voice after mentally composing yourself. 

“Fine, just don’t leave. But I’ll text them. You can watch.”

He sits next to you on the bed when you drag him over, his hand attempting to snake under your shirt to wrap his arm around your waist. You give him a nasty look but don’t say anything. He keeps it still the entire time as you both realize what this means for you two. He can’t wait to fucking claim you.

(You can’t fucking wait to be claimed.)

You see him eye your password and file it away in his memory. You notice, and let him. You don’t care enough to hide anything from him.

He’s studying your phone as you go through your apps and message the people you’ve been hooking up with casually. You’re only sending messages to those you have upcoming plans with, but it seems to be enough for him. Even if he has a snide comment about each individual.

“Wow, you really like to hook up, huh?” he’s teasing, no malice in his voice.

“I like to have sex. I’m fucking human. Don’t slut shame me, Dobrik,” you joke back to the man, still typing away.

“You use condoms with them?” David’s asking, which causes you to pause and turn in his hold, eyeing him wearingly. He holds his hands up in defense and too quickly explains,

“Ireallydon’tmeanthatinaDICKway, I just wanna be able to come in you all the time.”

“Yeah, I do. I don’t want a fucking kid OR a transmitted disease,” you tell him, smirking at his shouted explanation.

He’s resounding smile is charming in the moment as he realizes something, singsonging, “So you truuuust me?”

“I trust you don’t get laid much,” you retort, as he leans in to bury his head in your neck. You laugh when you hear and feel him grumble against your skin. There’s a light hearted feel to this interaction, the first you’ve ever felt with him. It’s nice, but you wanted more already. You’re hitting send one last time on a message and close the phone, throwing in next to and behind you on the bed. He’s pulled back when you turn around and he has this look on his face that you can’t read.

“Good, now you can pay attention to me.”

That makes you almost giggle as he leans in and pulls you into a heated kiss. Leaving no room for negotiation with his hand gripped against the back of your head, he pulls you where he wants to have full access. Your knees feel weak and it makes you glad the bed is there to hold you. His chapped lips know exactly what they’re doing, leaving you breathless after an embarrassingly short amount of time.

You can’t help pushing up to climb onto his lap, legs falling to either sides of his hips, rustling his shirt up slightly. The moan he lets out when you start biting lightly on his bottom lip is fucking ridiculous, it makes you move against his body, grinding on him. He pulls away to rock you together a couple times before starting to push you back and down.

“Didn’t I say something about fucking your mouth?” His strained voice asks, making you nod obediently and follow his hands with ease to kneel between his parted legs. Your hands go straight for his waistband and he groans as his head flys back slightly, “God, you’re such a slut. So good for me. You just wanna taste me, don’t you?”

And you do, you want that like burning. You’re speeding up your fingers to get his pants and boxer briefs down and off. One thigh is still healing from your scratch the night before, red lines swollen and noticeable. You decide to make sure he has matching marks by the end of the night.

He’s already hard, his dick slapping against his stomach when freed from the confines of his pants. His hands start running through your hair, collecting the strands into a messy ponytail that he can easily grip. You look up to him with the biggest doe eyes you can muster while he does this, licking your lips wet so they shine for him. The one long exhale of breath he lets out while meeting your eyes is your reward and makes you even wetter between your legs. You know exactly how to put him on edge and it makes something in you preen.

“Look at you, so fucking eager. Fuck me. You’re my little slut, huh?” He asking with no expectation of a response when he pulls you forward and onto his dick. The hand leading you is surprisingly gentle, but you don’t really want that. Not after what he promised.

You swallow him whole, gagging when he hits the back of your throat. But you persevere and don’t pull up even though his hold on you is light enough that you could. David’s bigger than anyone you’ve ever blown, but you don’t shy away from a challenge when it’s presented. You just keep swallowing around him and when your gagging cause spit to cascade down and around him, you pull up and back down to slick the way.

It’s messy and you feel wetness on your cheeks and chin, everywhere, but you don’t care. Your only focus is making it good for him and hopefully looking wrecked in the process. You’re succeeding as his labored breath grows louder in the room with each flick of your tongue around the head of his cock.

You only gasp a little when he yanks your head back and off him, moving you back so that he can stand at full height. You look up from his hold and see the exasperation across his face, scrunched forehead and tongue peeking out to lick at his dry lips. You know where this is going and unhinge your jaw, dropping your mouth open for him to fuck. It makes David mutter a small fuck me to himself and jerk you back onto him.

He isn’t languid with his hold this time, no he’s taking complete control and fucking into your mouth with force. Every third time or so you gag, more drool coming out around your lips. You just look up to him with watery eyes when it happens and moan around him.

“Yeah, that’s it, baby girl. Just fucking take it. Do I taste good? You wanna swallow me up, huh?” he’s rambling, never stopping the rough pace at which his hips were snapping against your face. You attempt to nod in his hold with little success and relent to just groaning around him in hopes that the vibrations would be your answer. Then you’re flexing your throat, trying your best to undulate the muscle around him; it works.

“Fuck! Fuck, yeah, move your throat around me like that baby,” he’s crooning, speed picking up slightly. The look on his face is pained and his eyes are scrunched closed. You take the moment, raising your limp and unused hand to his unharmed thigh. You feel a little malicious, but it only makes you leak through your underwear.

As you begin clawing your way down the leg, harder than the night before, he makes the same empty grunt the last time he came. You snap your head back hard, pushing the hand gripping your hair back with your movement. David’s eyes shoot open and stare down at you in awe. Your nails aren’t done marring him as you pull away from him only a couple inches and open you mouth, tongue hanging out.

It’s like a lightbulb switches in his head, you’re giving him someplace to come. His hand leaves your hair and starts rapidly stroking himself. You’re still not done scratching him, fingers moving down painstakingly slow. David’s mouth is hung open to match yours as he starts to come, your face moving forward so that your tongue is barely touching the underside of his cockhead, collecting the first few spurts.

You’re leaning forward to seal your mouth around him when he jerks back a few inches and continues to come, but now all over the bottom half of your face. Your hand slips down to push on your cunt through your jeans without your permission as you moan wantonly into the room and just stare at the man in wonder. (You didn’t realize that was a kink, but it is apparently.)

He’s shivering and moaning out tiny oh fuck’s as he recovers from his orgasm and falls back into a sitting position on the edge of the bed. You don’t move, you just stare at him, face shining with his cum as it dribbles from your lips to your jaw and hangs on your cheeks.

The two of your eyes meet for a moment too long. He’s breathing is harsh and he’s looking at you like an anomaly, utterly confused and wrecked. Then you lick the come off your lips and make a show of swallowing what’s in your mouth for him.

You don’t stop him when he reaches back on the bed for your phone, opening it and snapping a picture of you, debauched and covered in come on your knees in front of him. You don’t stop him when he sends it to himself.

You don’t stop him at all as he leans forwards to collect the mess off your chin and push it into your still open mouth; you don’t stop him, no, you actively begin sucking it off his fingers. Which pulls a long moan from the man, and has him pushing against your tongue and trying to rub the taste into it.

“See how well I treat you when you pay attention to me?” He’s smirking, fingers still massaging your tongue. You just nod, hand rubbing against your damp mound and still sucking on his fingers. You go to swallow again, but he stops that, tutting out eh, and removing his fingers from your mouth to your chin, pulling you up into a open mouthed kiss. He laps at his own come while massaging your tongue with his and it makes you whimper against his lips pathetically.

Yeah, you can definitely put away some time to pay attention to him if this is what it results in.

(You’re so fucked.)

——

[mccoys-killer-queen]

This Week’s Playlist (2/21)

As promised, the 80′s list! This week I thought I’d pick a song from each year of the decade. I probably should’ve done this last week for the 70s but enh oh well thought if it too late. Next week I’ll be doing underappreciated/niche songs from artists.

Warning: since this is an 80s list, get ready for a ton of cheesy music videos

1.) In Your Letter- REO Speedwagon (1980) Hey, you’re lucky I don’t make entire lists of these guys every week. This song is for EVERYONE- a total fan favorite. Everyone only focuses on Keep On Loving You or Take It On the Run when it comes to Hi Infidelity- but I think this should be up on the high list with those. Talk about being catchy as all fuck! The story this tells is so sad, but this song just makes you wanna bop! (the music video is by far the cheesiest thing I’ve ever seen, so get ready).

2.) In the Dark- Billy Squier (1981) The title looks mysterious, and believe me, the song sounds that way, too. “Life isn’t easy from the singular side, down in the hole, some emotions are hard to hide”- starting off a song with that really makes the mind ponder on things. What really gives me chills is the line “will you love me in the dark” *shivers* I’m not sure why. The lyrics get more serious as they go on, and with that being the last line of the song- with everything coming down to that line- it just hits something. It’s a great song if you’re feeling unsure of things. If you haven’t already, PLEASE listen to the rest of this album Don’t Say No- it’s a legendary classic rock classic.

3.) Dancer- Queen (1982) HOT SPACE, LET’S GO! The title lives up to its name (and this is yet another Brian May baby).It’s songs like this that raise the question “How the HELL can you hate Hot Space??” Whether you like it or not, you’ll have your own dance made up to this song by the time it’s over. They were really vibin when they made this (at least, some of them were). The overall sound of this is just the definition of an 80s song. Is it disco? Is it not? That’s up to you. Either way, get groovin. And give Hot Space a chance!

4.) After the Fall- Journey (1983) Holy mother of internal conflict. “So now love is gone, and I can’t go on” that REALLY sets the stage for the meaning of this song. It’s full of regret, but it’s done with so much passion (as Journey always does). Passionate harmonies, passionate keyboards, and passionate outro guitar solo. To me, the ending is just as great as the outro of Who’s Crying Now. I’d like to call this the Who’s Crying Now of Frontiers. It’s kinda like if you mashed like four songs from Escape and Frontiers together. If you’re looking for a good, solid 80s vibe that’s not Don’t Stop Believin, then try this song for a change. (This music video is also one of the cheesiest things I’ve ever seen, so get ready. Once you’re one watching, check out these memes I made about it a while back).

5.) You Might Think- The Cars (1984) Yeah, this is my favorite song from 1984. If you’re in need of some good ass 80s trash then look no further (music video is also included as 80s trash). Here’s the DEFINITION of 80s pop music imo. Why is it that everything Mutt Lange produces is amazing? Def Leppard, Foreigner, The Cars- he’s just a GOD. I always wondered why this song was a masterpiece. Everything about this song is just so much fun! If you just say the verses out loud- it sounds like a fun song! Watch the music video- it’s cheesy but super lighthearted! I can guarantee everyone reading this that you’ll like this song if you haven’t heard it yet.

6.) Money for Nothing- Dire Straits (1985) GoD, does this slap. (I know they say f*ggot like three times in this but I try to ignore that because despite that- this song is still a good one.) It’s really a staple of 80s culture, if you ask me. It’s in the perspective of someone mocking MTV, so how could you ignore that in 1985? It totally makes a whole lotta sense though- like “all they’re doing is playing music, that ain’t working!” I totally get it. How can you POSSIBLY ignore that intro guitar? This song is a goddamned RITUAL. You’ll be chanting “I want my MTV” at the end for sure. This song is super iconic, so it had to make this 80s list. (The music video is also another top notch animated music video (by 80s standards))

If you wanna hear the full song (not the radio/music video edit) click here.

7.) Underground- David Bowie (1986) Whether we knew it or not, the Classic Rock Fandom has totally claimed the movie Labyrinth as our own. This is the theme from the movie and (and imo the best song of the whole movie). Time to be wooed by Jareth the Goblin King. This song is also done with a lot of whimsical passion- being perfect for the fairytale it was made for. It’s not a children’s song, but it does its job to carry childlike wonder to whoever hears it. It’s more of gospel than anything else if you ask me. Gospel gone Bowie- that’s what it is. Would also highly recommend the movie Labyrinth (take it with a decent sized grain of salt, though).

8.) Hysteria- Def Leppard (1987) Okay, I really, really, really restricted myself when it came to putting this song in a list right away. I’ve waited long enough. This is by far my favorite song of all time (and you can quote me on that, I’ve been saying it for years now). There’s just something about this song that is unbelievably calming and- again- whimsical/dreamy. I was hooked the very first time I heard the “I gotta know tonight if you’re alone tonight, can’t stop this feeling...” It’s the perfect song for anytime, for any mood, but it’s the best when you listen to it at night around a fire under the stars. To me, it’s perfect. It’s absolutely perfect. Fall in love with this song or else. Create a new daydream to this song. Absorb the music video. Feel every note. Take all the lyrics to your soul. Ascend to a higher plane of existence. Spin around your room and shake your hips at the “oh can you feel it”s (that’s what I did the day I started listening to this). It’s the best five minutes and 55 seconds of my life. The intro and outro will totally lift you off your feet. Seriously, I think everyone will be hooked right off the bat.

9.) Bad Medicine- Bon Jovi (1988) Get your hair huge, get your makeup heavy, get tacky as all fuck, because it’s time for Bon Jovi. As soon as this song starts I’m always blown away and all the things I just listed become a reality. Stadium rock at its finest. Who doesn’t fall in love with all of them every time they come on the radio? You can headbang to this, you can groove to this, you can bop to this, you can jump to this with all your might, and best of all, you can scream to this. The 80s definitely wouldnt’ve been complete without this song. Time to go all lovey dovey for some hair music heartthrobs for a little while.

Full song

10.) Kickstart My Heart- Motley Crue (1989) I haven’t broken the Motley Crue ice either (also woops). I have such a love/hate relationship with Crue (won’t get into it) but I always come crawling back to songs like this one. There’s so much turbo energy here you can’t ignore this song if you tried. This is one of those songs that you’re just supposed to go absolutely batshit crazy to (whatever that means to you). Start a bar fight, do a donut with your car, run from the cops, just go absolutely fucking nuts. And give it up for MICK FUCKING MARS HOLY SHIT. I always like to go out with a bang with these playlists so I feel like this is one of the biggest bangs I could go out with (especially for an 80s list).

[vgtravlr]

21 Questions

I was tagged by @pikapeppa, the diamond standard of humanity.

+Rules: answer 21 questions and then tag 21 people who you want to get to know better.

Nickname: Useless. It’s a pet name my reflection likes to call me before he turns out the light. He says he does it because he can’t look at my face anymore but I think he’s starting to come around.

Zodiac: Virgo. Yeah, I earned it.

Height: 5′10″

Last movie I saw: Spider-Man: into the Spider-Verse. Lordy lord that flick was dope.

Last thing I googled: The definition of lamenting

Favourite musician: Ling Ling

Song stuck in my head: Pour Some Sugar on Me - Def Leopard. I was at work and It’s so catchy that you could belt out the chorus and get others to join in,

(pour some sugar on me!) Ooh, in the name of love (pour some sugar on me) C'mon fire me up (pour your sugar on me!) Oh, I can't get enough

 I have a meeting with HR on Monday.

Other blogs: 

re:CouchVacation - reblog anime/tv/movie edits with my own edits thrown in. re:vgJourney - Gaming reblog re:Art Shoutout - Art reblog re:Headspace - Quotes reblog. I toss a thought in once in a while.

Do I get asks: Nope.

Following: 178 

Amount of sleep: I am alseep and all this is a dream. Sure it’s crappy, but its my dream and you’re a part of it. Enjoy yourself. Lol that was dumb. I need more sleep.

Lucky number: 0

What I’m wearing: Hoodie, sweatpants and wrapped in blanket. Classic introvert formal attire. 

Dream job: The guy in those infomercials that can’t seem to do anything right.

Dream trip: Travel back in time to highschool or college with everything I know now and straight up kill it. Except for math. Fuck math. Also go on more dates, probably should have started with that.

Play any instruments: Nope.

Languages: English and French.

Favourite songs: I don’t have one in particular but I have been listening to lo-fi hip hop streams lately.

Random fact: I got into a car accident and after a while of dealing with the shock and irritation looking at the state of  my car did the gravity of the situation come full circle when the cop pointed out, “Hey, your airbag never went off.” Part of me still thinks that I did die in that wreck and this is purgatory. 

Describe yourself as aesthetic: A page with half a written word and a broken pencil, Sunsets, Hot chocolate and cookies, Buried up to my neck on a white sandy beach too close to the shore with the tide rolling in and no way to get myself out. A pillow fort.  

Tagging forward to anyone who has made it this far. Tag me and I’ll write a random note about you.

[enaasteria]

I'm done with work for today! Apartment, here I come! ♥ // runs and hugs Ahri & Sehun :") // Also, I still feel like I annoy you all day with my asks. 😹🙊 Do I? *sad pup eyes* I'll try to hold in my emotions a little more, I promise. I don't wanna bug you LOL. 🙈 P.S. I finished my studies early today to work on my Ksoo story, and I DID IT. Finished it. 1,034 words. Edited it too. I wish I had someone to read it once and give me constructive criticism before posting it. I'm scared af please. 😔

Yay! Congrats on finishing your work and I’m so impressed!! You actually inspire me to do my work too and I did and adulted and I went straight back to writing after I was done so wooohoo!! AND NOOO. Really---you don’t annoy me at all. please don’t think that EVER. Readers with insight on chapters never, ever annoy me. I greatly appreciate them and wish I can do more than just scream back at you over your messages. I’m sorry if I take a while answering them. I usually try to answer asks in batches so I don’t spam dashboards. I got hate mail over it one time and I’ve been self conscious over it ever since.

CONGRATS ON THE KYUNGSOO STORYYY. What’s the premise? And ask one of your followers to beta read it! I usually do that with some friends or followers when I get stuck on a part and ask for their advice.

More under the cut!

// Chapter 11 - RIP my angst loving heart, you've done well // it was a lot to take in. I love how you played with the binaries of love and heartache, by having Sehun and Ahri stargaze in one scene, and then him going off to Yul in the next one. It created that perfect mosaic of human sentiments and vulnerabilities for both of them, and in fact, we saw more of Myungsoo, Soi and Sehun's mum. Even Seyong and Yul. The storytelling was such a treat, too! I cry every time Ahri hurts. :'( My heart. 💔

Yessss!!! Angst!! It’s where my heart lives and I hope you enjoyed 11. I really wanted to show their dynamic and how Sehun, as much as he wished to, still can’t move on. I find that kind of behavior very real in people and it’s what I tried to convey in my writing that these people have faults. They’re not perfect and they do stumble on their journey. I really do enjoy all of the characters I’ve created in Apartment. They all hold special pieces of me and I’m so happy you like their little appearances in the fic!!

// Chapter 12 // I'm trying to read slower now that there are barely 4 more chapters left. TRYING. // Chapter 12 has me crying buckets. Ahri, please. 😭😭 SEHUN, WILL YOU LOOK AT HOW MY GIRL IS HURTING? Please 😢. I'm not mad at Sehun, okay a lil bit, but I can obviously see where he's coming from so I can't be mad at him for too long. It's frustrating, but it's real. Love blinds us. Especially when it's out of our reach. But Sehun please, Ahri is something else. I hope you won't let her go. :")

AHHHH 12. Not my best chapter if I’m to be honest but that’s because I’m just hypercritical of whatever I write. It is frustrating, isn’t it? That’s what I wanted to show because relationships are never a straight narrow path. They are jagged, rough, and it’s never smooth sailing. But it’s also a turning point for both of them (but also my guilty pleasure of keeping Sehun wet the entire time muahahahahahahha //evil cackle//

// Chapter 13 // I was JUST THAT CLOSE to flinging my phone off the balcony, I'm not kidding. 😭 It's 12:38 am and I'm walking on the terrace because I was crying so badly so I had to get out of my room so as to not wake my roomie up (LOL). And the moment Ahri was done speaking and she started crying and running away, I just really almost flung the phone off the terrace. 😭 SEHUN, YOU BETTER DO SOMETHING GOOD AND GET HER BACK, SHE DOESN'T DESERVE SUCH MONSTROUS PAIN. Also, heyyyyy Chanyeol! ;) ♥

Don’t fling your phone!! OMGOSHHHHH. I hope your phone is safe. They’re expensive little things and NOOOO WHY ARE U STAYING UP LATE FOR THIS FIC. sdfjaklsdjf;jdfs. I SCREAMMMM. I always tell readers to please, please pleaseee get sleep. Fic will always be here. It’s not going anymore and please rest. Eat. Don’t let this fic take away from your daily life. It’s not worth ittttt. But yessss. The ending. My poor heart. I tear up sometimes over the things I have to put her through but I hope the messages and feelings were convey properly and you feel her struggles in wanting to stay with him but her mind and heart telling her it won’t be good for her to. That she needs to step away from him for the betterment of herself.

// Chapter 14 // 1:23 am, and still crying on the terrace. I wish there was a portal to go into this universe, and I'd gladly leave everything and just get to drunk Sehun, kneel beside him and talk some sense into him so that he stops to hurting himself, and hence, Ahri this way. Then I'd take Ahri and Soi's hands and walk out of LOXE. We'd go home and analyse this situation in a way that eases Ahri's pain, but we'd probably just cry and hug and fall asleep. I'd love to do all of that. Yes. :")

OMG. SDFKJSKLDFJL:KSDF IM SO SORRY THAT YOURE CRYING BUT ALSO YASSS IM GLAD YOU ARE. 14 is such a favorite of mine. I have favorite chapters and 14 is definitely one of them. The part that I really loved about this was how Ahri asked him why he would think she would return to him when she chose the same poisons as her parents and I think that part hit him so hard that it knocked sense into him. And I love how you want to take care of the characters!! It’s just so cute and adorable and HOW ARE U JUST THE SWEETEST READERS. IM SO DSDFJKSDLFJSKLFSKLDF

/ Chapter 15: 2:45 am // So much happened. But in a way, it's life. It's always unexpected and overwhelming in all possible ways. I also wanna point out, I love how every chapter starts with a little bit of Ahri's narrative on her past. It shows how our upbringing and childhood moulds us into who we are, but also that there's always scope to transform. I'm crying about how Sehun has finally come around. HE SAID HER FULL NAME! 😭 Also, CHANYEOL.♥ I'm not ready for 16 & 17. Or for 18. I CAN'T. 😭

ITS 2AM WHY ARE U AWAKEEEEEE. WHYYYY WHYYY OMGOSH. Please sleeeeepepepepepepe. OMG. YEAH. My brain hurts when I have to think about how to start the chapters because I want them to be memorable. The same can be said for how I end the chapters too. Because these are the words that you start with but also end with so I stress over them so much hahaha. AND IM NOT DONE WITH 18 yetttttttttt. HEUNNGNGNGNG. I really wanted to finish by his birthday but that’s def not gunna happen aahahaha

// REAL!!! // And here I thought I was about to go to sleep peacefully! Professor!Ahri and Professor! Hun? Lovin' it. All I want to see is them happily, blissfully in love with each other. And happy. Ahh, that's all I want in life right now. :") ♥

AYEYEEE. It’s an AU of an AU. I loved it muahahaha something light and fluffy for my angst heart. But yassss. THATS ALL I WANT TOO. I just want all the happiness for them too. I just want to write everything with them as muses tbh puahahahahha

[theundergroundarchives]

Rap Beast: Here comes the up-and-coming artiste, ASYRFNSIR, the spellbinding KL-hailed musician who recently puts out the antidote rap track “VIRUS”

You might not want to miss out on this one because this artiste right here is about to blow up and become the next big thing inside the music industry. He’s ASYRFNSIR (pronounced as Asyraf Nasir). Having been recently crowned as the champion of RapStar ERA, where he toppled down other equally prodigious contestants in front of the music industry virtuosos as the judges, the climbing moves for the effervescent rap star doesn’t stop just there. In an introspective interview with writer Ainaa Amirrah, ASYRFNSIR lets us in on the analytical facet of him and his first commercial single “VIRUS” which is collaboratively produced by Def Jam South East Asia and Universal Music Malaysia. Could be, “VIRUS” is all about the current pandemic that we’re being faced with right now? This is where the “secrets” get revealed.

Words by Ainaa Amirrah

When was the first time you realized that you're into rapping? 

I’ve always been into hip hop since I was in school. The first rap song I heard was “I’ll Be Missing You” by Puff Daddy (his name at the time la) and I just got hooked into the genre ever since. But taking rapping more seriously started three years ago when I decided to join this video making competition about a potato snack with an old classmate I had not seen since I left high school! I randomly decided to go makan (eat) very late at this mamak stall I have never gone to around the neighbourhood and bumped into him. He shared with me that he does video editing full-time and so, I recommended him to tag along for the competition. We had to lip sync the words and while filming the scenes, my friends was saying how I should try writing actual songs because zaman sekolah dulu (during the high school years) I liked to do parodies! Long story short, we won and managed to meet SonaOne for the first time because he was the jingle for that video competition. Pretty overwhelming considering that was the first time I won anything before! After that my friend tried to convince me to rap for real, and the deal he made was that he’d shoot every music video I do for free to help build my career. And damn, I guess here we are! Crazy times. I owe a lot to this guy, if not, I might have not taken that step to start. Much love to you, Nicholas Bong!

How does it feel like being crowned as the champion of RapStar ERA? 

Surreal. That is the best word that I can think of. Okay, so I’m going to be honest and say that none of the participants expected that this thing was going to be that big! I saw the poster online and thought it was just a standard challenge where you have to upload a 1-minute video of you rapping and boom! Done! Sadakallahul'azim, finish already and we have found a winner. But no man, from the ‘Gram we had to go for live auditions and from there it was an intensive 2-week journey with daily challenges! Every day we had to write fresh 16 bars on a new beat and memorize it for the next day! If this was another ‘upload video on Instagram’ thing takpe la (nevermind), but we had to perform in front of actual judges in the music industry! (Fariz Jabba, Joe Flizzow, Navigator, SonaOne). Dah la (What’s more) we had the finale show some more, and it was a legit concert! So to put it simply, very overwhelming because the journey was very competitive and the hype about the whole competition was building up along the way so the pressure for me personally, was high. My whole family for the first time came to see me perform live kot that night of the finale! What made me join the competition by the way, is of course the opportunity to work with Def Jam South East Asia, but also, I always try to participate in any rap challenges on Instagram. I feel like it pushes myself to continue to come up with materials creatively (because you have to make videos too kan) and personally I feel like if you want to get anywhere, we just have to take every opportunity we can to showcase our skills you know? We can’t be too picky and selective on what we want to take part in, because the true fact is that how you perform will determine the outcome.

Now that you’ve become the RapStar ERA champion, what plans do you have in mind for the next phase? Are you still going to actively produce more of free verses posted on your Instagram, or perhaps, we could expect an extended play or an album coming from ASYRFNSIR? 

Writing never stops. Since RMO started, I’ve been coming up with this series called #Quarantingz where I would come up with a fresh verse every two days, based on the stories of other people during quarantine! I enjoy putting up content and it challenges my writing capability to explore new flows, so yeah, you can expect more free verses! I’ve had plans of coming up with an album by the end of this year, but RapStar ERA happened, and right now, I just want to recalculate my steps for a solid game plan you know? We’ll see.

You've significantly been known to have always included your personal trademark of "#AYangLuMinati" in your bars. Perhaps you could enlighten us about the meaning behind the words? 

“AYangLuMinati” was a completely accidental tagline. So my hand sign which is the shape of an ‘A” was interpreted by a lot of random kids who said that I’m showing ajaran sesat (heresy) and promoting the Illuminati agenda whatever that means. But I wasn’t mad or anything, I just thought that it was hella funny on how the internet can have so many different interpretations. So what I did was put up in my Instagram stories of the ‘actual’ or common Illuminati hand signs or symbols and show that it clearly is very different. And this is where the tagline came about, I put a poll that said: “What do you see in this hand sign?” A) Illuminati. B) A-luminati. C) A-Yang-Lu-Minati. From what I thought was a very lame pun, people actually voted and responded to C! So instead of taking all the concerning comments [and teguran (reprimands) in DMs too] as a form of negativity, I embraced it and turned it into my trademark. Also, Altimet used to refer to himself as ‘A’ a lot in his music. And one of the last few words he mentioned in an interview before he retired from performing was telling the new rappers to “be better than me”. So I guess as a personal interpretation, I wanted to strive and be better than the OGs in the game eventually in my journey to the top.

Can you tell us a bit about your first single “VIRUS” produced by SonaOne of Def Jam South East Asia? Could be, is it about the current Covid-19 pandemic that’s happening right now? 

A lot of people assumed that it is about the Covid-19 before the song was released, but I’m afraid that it is absolutely not related at all. This song was made before the RMO and I think the pandemic only just started to slowly spread in Malaysia. In the spirit of current news, I thought it would’ve been fun to use that as a reference in the song as a means of saying that my music is contagious. But then, the more I thought about it, this song is going to be my first introductory single into a wider audience in the music industry. I needed to make sure that this leaves a memorable mark in everyone’s minds. Thus, I embraced myself to be the ‘virus’ itself. Hoping to ‘infect’ the eardrums of listeners who had just heard of me for the first time, leaving them wanting for more. As much as this ‘spreads’ as a ‘virus’, it is also an antidote to ease everyone who’s been deprived of a good hit during the quarantine period. So without mentioning Covid-19, if you analyse the lyrics, there’s a lot of keyword elements about bacteria, hygiene etc. But they are interpreted as life lessons instead.

Could we also expect any forthcoming projects of you with Def Jam South East Asia after this? 

Well, I don’t know yet. (No really, I don’t!) But if God wills, if “VIRUS” achieves its goal, let’s hope you guys will be addicted for more! So stream it everywhere and stay tuned! Regardless, my promise to you is that I’m definitely going back into the lab and continue writing more bops for you guys!

I’m pretty sure that the fans out there are curious about the cash that you won from participating in RapStar ERA. What was the first thing that you bought using the money? 

Well, so far, I haven’t used the money yet. But this has always been my thing since I started performing, which is that whatever I earn from music, I try to put it back to the growth of my music. The first few pay checks I got from my early gigs, I used them for buying a new studio mic and headphones for better quality. So I won’t spend it on other material items but instead, probably build my home studio or channel it back into my future music video productions!

What are the reasons that especially keep you motivated and positive in pursuing your dream of becoming a successful artiste? 

What keeps me motivated is honestly, the scene itself. I feel like listening to great materials by other rappers, both old and new, keeps me fired up. It’s like collecting the great energy around and channelling it into your own you know? Also, the goal is to share the good stuff I have because I would like to believe that I’ve got materials and a style that the world would want to pay attention to.

So it seems like you’ve been venturing more into trap music as heard in your discography. Would you one day, like to any other genres in showcasing your rap ability? 

I’m actually flexible in different sounds, I guess my recent releases have been more into trap but I’m more open to trying out other genres as well! People always think rap needs to only be in hip hop, but rapping is just a skill like singing. If you can sing in other genres, surely rapping can apply too, no? Break the barriers! If not, we wouldn’t have Rage Against the Machine! Linkin Park! Old Town Road by Lil Nas X!

What do you really hope the world sees in ASYRFNSIR’s music? 

The energy I bring in every track. I always try to associate myself with good vibes and good tunes for people to have a good time you know? The message will come together of course, and it may be about other issues instead of my own story. You can give my first release a listen called “Sunshine”, which is an ode to all women in conjunction of International Women’s Day. Plus, I don’t curse in my lyrics so you guys can bet your 3-year-old niece to listen to my music too.

Any hope for the local music scene in Malaysia? 

A lot. I have so much hope and expectations from the music scene in Malaysia. We got young blood filled with talent who’s just trying to do what they do best you know? Some of these newer acts also have crossed borders and gained fans in our neighbourhood countries like Midnight Fusic. GARD is also one of the gems we have in the hip hop scene. Have you heard his EP with WUZGUT titled CPR (Club Perenang Rohani)? So yeah, I think we’re headed the right direction. Just let the people do their thing! And do your part in showing support as well. Also, one more thing I want to add, I feel like in order for us to push the standards, we should remove ‘local’ when we announce our talented musicians. For example ‘local singer’ or ‘local rapper’ or ‘local music’. An artiste is an artiste, and if people can take out the ‘Malaysian’ label in our artistes, we can finally improve the mind set of putting these people on the same pedestal as other international artistes.

QUICK TRIVIA Q&A WITH ASYRFNSIR!

Be rich or be smart? Smart. Smart people always have ways in making money. Boom.

Be handsome or be famous? Famous. Looks alone may not get you anywhere. Fame can help give you a greater voice of influence. It’s a great tool to create change in less fortunate communities and the lives of others as well.

Have a song with Eminem or Tupac? Tupac. The values and messages he carries in his rhythm and poetry.

Beat SonaOne or Joe Flizzow in a rap battle? Hmm, okay in RapStar ERA, Joe Flizzow was the judge for one of the rounds we had which was a rap battle. No disrespect, but if you could be the judge, then damn, they should just give you the crown already.

Live in Paris or Japan? Japan! Have always admired the Japanese lifestyle and values they have. They’re also very innovative! Constantly levelling up! Amazing. I can imagine living there.

Have 9 lives like cats or own 9 Porches? 9 lives man. Create a new legacy in every life you’re given. Boom! Also, you got 9 Porches for what? Parking susah guna Grab jugak. (At last, you’re going to be using Grab anyways because of parkings.)

1 million dollars to save in your bank account or give it away to charities? Invest in things to help yourself first and the people around you. Only then use the tools and influence you have to help the less fortunate. I am sometimes sceptical on donating money to charities, because you don’t handle the accounts so you don’t know where the money goes and what is spent on.

Eat pizza for your whole life or rendang instead? PIZZA FOR LIFE!

Listen to ASYRFNSIR’s latest single, “VIRUS”:

[sundrenched-smilez]

odd numbers for the lesbian asks! (if it's too many just do every 4th one maybe?)

1. Femme or butch? 

for type, im vry easily wooed by butches tbh

as for myself, im genderfluid + heavily lean towards butch-ish for one gender + have been gettin more comf w that term for myself. the 3 genders i switch between, ive described as sharp, dainty and tired, for reason of not really being comf w gender labels aside from nonbinary. sharp/tired r kinda butchish, moreso sharp. like leather jackets, ripped jeans, dress pants/shirts, defs flannels (which r a given for any mood im in tbh) while tired is like mb softer, more focused on flannels + loose tank tops/shirts, shorts + certain skirts, comfy clothes, and the like   

ive found that i’m leaning more towards butch lately too, like i’ve been a lot more comfortable with pants and a nice top than i have w dresses or most skirts + im wondering if i was just hanging on to femininity for sake of society, so those r things 2 think abt. i still feel comf in them sometimes, but it’s getting much less often. gender’s weird, i still cant cling to one bc of how pressuring that is so genderfluidity is still smth for me + it shifting to different percentages is okay (im thinking out loud @ this point, but its helping so i hope its interesting to read)

3. Plaid button-ups or leather jackets?

both, but primarily flannels/plaid buttion-ups

5. Describe your aesthetic

aaahh theres a lot of diff aesthetics i could go into, but i have a tag if ur interested in a visual representation? basically, cosy homes, forests, wooden steps and bridges, cats, girls/nbs, water, plants, and old video game stuff, and clouds/skies. i’m sure there’s more in there, but for a good rule of thumb !! as for like dressing aesthetic, i like to look rly gay + attractive and a lil showy? like my shorts r Short and i love crop tops + a lot of my shirts show my bra thru them, + i like showing it when i can, like sports bra + a tank top is a fav look of mine bc i can make it look like my bra is a trim on the shirt + it’s cute. i’ve been wearing dresses less often, but occasionally, i like to rock one. id love a pair of combat boots but i have like size 11/12 feet + most stores dont carry that size + im hesitant to buy some online. 

7. Favorite pair of shoes?

its rly hard to find any, i have like walmart converse knockoffs atm + theyre a beige/grey color im not that huge on, it kinda reminds me of sandalwood but depressed

9. Any haircut goals for the future? 

there was the undercut!! and i have that down now c: next step is to dye it blue and mb some purple. i wanna bleach it if i’m gonna dye it, but im hesitant to do that bc of how damaging it is, but since my hair’s been cut a cpl time almost all the color is out now, so i think itll b ok if i take good care of it. 

11. Describe the worst date you’ve been on

i went to a cafe w someone (i think they were nb but i cant remember, it was like 2 yrs ago about ) and they were impossible to talk to bc they just kept saying “im awkward sorry” @ everything and like any conversations i tried to maintain were all one-shot responses, and like that was a lil frustrating. like i dont hold it against them or anything, more in a sense of i was rly tryin 2 carry it and just couldnt 

13. If taken, talk about your girlfriend/wife!

whooh i wish i was taken, i need affection + to b cute w someone 

15. Describe your dream wedding

hmmmm i havent thought much about it !! i know when i was younger i wanted to wear a black wedding dress but now im thinkin mb a suit that switches to dress @ the bottom?? that could b cool. I’d be happy w anything tbh, if im getting married, i’d just b happy to be w my wife/spouse. mb somewhere in a forest or on a boat would b cool, defs lots of good food and colorful flowers. I’d like a lot of color, most weddings ive been to are just b/w and bland for my taste (they’ve also all been straight tho so theres that.) it’s kind of wild to think that i might b married someday, but it’d b rly nice. i just haven’t thought much abt the planning of one. it’d b rly gay tho, probs give out tiny gay flags at each seat, and the cake could b lesbian flag colors. im rly drawing a blank on this, but i know id want all my friends around the country + world to be there. 

17. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

i definitely want to live in a port town at some point !! idk where i’d like to settle down, ideally somewhere that doesnt get much hotter than 90 degrees + has lots of parks + is big enough for some events, like pride stuff, little festivals, a farmer’s market, and places to do things, such as a movie theater, bowling alley, mb an aquarium, if not one in a nearby town. hiking trails r also good. 

19. Favorite lesbian novel/story?

on a sunbeam!!! its a huge inspiration for me, and i love it so much. it always puts me in such a good mindset when i read it, and the artist is my age, so it makes me feel like I can also accomplish great things if i rly put my heart into it!! which is such a good feeling, and it has great representation + characters that i love, and its rly gay, and in space and theres ships shaped like fish + its gorgeous : D i could go on for hrs abt it + how important it is to me. theres an nb character too, and like the aspect of found families is one that rly hits home and it helped me get thru a rough time of my life + better accept myself as queer/gay. 

21. Favorite lesbian musician?

adult mom (tho i think they’re bi but still gay), or hayley kiyoko

23. Ever been assumed to be nothing more than a gal pal?

i think so, but i can’t place when, it’s been a bit. 

25. Be positive! What do you like most about being a lesbian?

talking abt being gay w other girls/nbs is lovely and cathartic, i never got to growing up bc i lived in a homophobic town + i was like dealing heavily with internalized homophobia and body/gender dysphoria so i was ace for a bit. talking more abt like sexual attraction + aesthetic attraction is new to me, and that’s been a process to get to, but it’s nice that I can now do so w/o being belittled or barraged by insult. i also just love the thought of being w someone, and daydreaming abt when that happens is really nice. also,, girls + nbs r a blessing and brighten my day and im so glad im attracted 2 them 

27. Turn ons?

absolutely communication, that’s a need. i had a bad experience w someone bc she wasn’t communicative at all, and failed to tell me that we weren’t dating despite us going on several dates + kissing??? like i wont go too into it, but hatchi matchi it was a mess. so yeah, communication, affection, and like reassurance that they actually want to be with me, and that my presence is wanted and enjoyed. I got a lot of “i dont care”s for answers last sort-of relationship, and that was rly discouraging. another turn on is for them to initiate talking and things, like holding hands or planning to hang out + such. consent is another big one. 

29. Do you usually ask other women out or do you wait for them to ask you?

i usually tend to ask them out, but im still dealing w internalized junk, so its difficult. i also havent any situations in which they liked me back, which is frustrating. like i got lead on earlier summer for abt a month until i asked what we were doing + didnt rly get an answer, and it was this whole mess. i generally try to make the first move tho, bc i know firsthand how difficult it is, but that being said, it’s still hard for me to know for sure if theyre interested + i dont wanna make things uncomf w them, so i’ll wait until i think there might b attraction. that being said, once that’s all out of the way, i like to consider myself a good flirt when im trying. 

31. Talk about your interests or hobbies!

i have lots of interests!! im obsessed w steven universe, its my fav show (and if u ever have time, we should totally watch it together sometime, i rly think you’d love it, it’s super gay + heartwarming.) i really love playing music and learning new songs, which im rly great at memorizing. talking to friends + gettin 2 know them better is always nice and fun. i like to draw new things + see the different ways ppl draw, so seeing art on here is always fun for me. i’m also rly into polygon videos (it’s a youtube channel, not like videos abt polygon haha) and this podcast called the adventure zone. season one just ended, so i might start listening to another one called friends at the table. i rly wanna start a podcast w someone, but can never find anyone to start it with. idk what I’d talk abt but if i could find a partner for it, i think it’d be a lot of fun. mb smth abt games or books/queer representation in media. doing a dnd podcast would also b rly fun, but a lot of work + editing so mb later down the road !! im blanking on other interests atm, but animations and cartoons r lovely and i aim to make something in that field one day, if not just a comic.

my hobbies r mostlyyyy drawing, dnd things now every thursday, hanging w my friends, playing video games, sometimes writing (i rly wanna start a comic, and im tryin to get my butt into gear on it), goin to parks, listening to music, and goin 2 events w roe + cesar, two of my friends. sometimes ill play music!! i need to get more than the keyboard i’m lending, but i love performing. ill also watch leg birds on youtube, theyre a lesbian couple that plays gams + theyre rly sweet. 

33. Do you love easily or does it take time for you to warm up to someone?

its easy for me to love friends, doesnt usu take me more than a few months of knowing them if were talking a lot. as for falling in love, that takes me a lot longer. ive never rly been in love w someone. i thought i was once, but rly it was just my first gay experience w someone and i wanted it to be perfect so i projected a lot of things + made it better than it seemed to myself for the duration of it, which wasn’t healthy, so i wanna avoid doing that again, + take things slower next time. or at least for what they are. 

35. Ever fallen for a straight girl?

a few times, they were just crushes tho, so it wasnt too too bad

37. Favorite comfort food?

hot cocoa or tea. as for food food, i dont think i have one. mb french toast or cinnamon rolls. 

39. Vegetarian? Vegan? None of the above?

i used to be a vegetarian!! for like a yr, but it was difficult for me to eat and feel full, and i was pretty underweight, so i stopped. 

41. Early-riser or night-owl?

both, i tend to stay up, but getting up early can be nice if i dont have to do anything. like just gently waking + making some tea and a nice breakfast + sittin around for a bit. 

43. What is your Myers-Briggs type?

enfp-a 

45. At what age did you know you were a lesbian?

i think like 16-17? it took me a bit to get words for identity, like lesbian/nonbinary and the like, but i always knew, like id call myself an individual as opposed to gendered terms that i was referred to, and always felt rly yucky w deadname + the wrong pronouns

47. Are you crushing on anyone at the moment (celebrity or otherwise)?

ive got one crush atm !! and another person who seems nice, but i wanna hang out w before like thinking abt a crush (im poly, which perhaps goes w/o saying, but i always like to state it when talking abt these things, jic )

49. Talk about your dreams/aspirations for the future

i’d like a partner or two, to get some bongos- i got to play some a couple weeks ago, and it was the most fun i’ve had playing anything!! having smth with an instant response that i could make up rhythms with was really rewarding and so much fun. i know i want a cat at some point, to go on cute dates + cuddle and kiss a lot w someone, to visit my friends in other places, dye my hair, get a better job, to travel a bit, make a comic, go to college for animation and storyboarding, mb go to camp at some point, and I’d like to make some more friends here, i’m already making some, which i’m super happy about, but it’s always nice meeting new ppl 

thank u for asking!! this was relaxing + fun, and a lot of the topics were cathartic to talk about, and i needed it. so thanks for listening too kinda

also im queen of commas, i’ve discovered while typing this