#this company is actual rot. a rot on the whole state cause we own so much of it.

[crowcryptid]

My job just fired a ton of people in the building I used to work in.

Building was surrounded by police. Crazy shit.

Can’t trust these out of state gringos man. They hired a new vp like 2 months ago, she cleared everyone out. Probably gonna bring her friends in to replace em.

They fired at least 8 managers. No one knows who’s next cause they only talked to people who showed up to the office.

Did it as unprofessionally as possible. Now everyone is scared.

[atlabeth]

fever - sokka x reader

this has been sitting in my drafts half finished for 3 weeks so i thot it was prime time i actually finished it

this is kinda based off the song w dua lipa and angele so you can listen to that if you want

summary: sokka's convinced there's a mystery illness keeping you from focusing, but somehow he's completely oblivious that the only 'sick' you are is lovesick, and he's the reason you can't focus.

a/n: i have never written a sickfic. but this is like. a fake sick fic. its an idiots in love fic. i mean this is coming from mr "is he taller than me? is he better looking?" himself so. it makes sense. as usual, this is not proofread bc im a lazy mf

also im sorry for being vague with the calc but i was NOT about to do math during summer who do you think i am? ??

wc: 1.7k

warning(s): mentions of being sick and 🤢calculus 🤮 but otherwise tooth rotting fluff

-

How could the smartest man you knew be so, so incredibly stupid?

You thought that you were being obvious, so obviously that you were sure he knew. It was embarrassing how obvious you were.

You had met Sokka in your calculus class at the start of the new semester after you ended up sitting next to each other, and it wasn’t a stretch to say that you were immediately smitten. With eyes like the ocean and a face that had to have been crafted by the gods, you were almost too distracted to respond when he asked you for a pencil. But when he winked at you after giving his thanks, it only solidified what you had already suspected: you had known this man for all of five minutes, and you already had a crush on him.

Little did you know, it was going to turn into the most infuriating crush you had ever experienced.

You and Sokka became fast friends even though calculus was the only class you had together. Unfortunately, it was also something that you completely sucked at. Bad news, it was required for your major. Good news, Sokka was some sort of genius and offered to tutor you — Wednesdays in the library turned into a weekly occasion, and served as an opening for your calculus skills, your feelings for Sokka, and your exasperation to all grow stronger.

You normally weren’t someone to beat around the bush. If you started to like someone, you told them and dealt with whatever happened after, but something about Sokka just kept you from spilling your feelings outright. You knew that if he didn’t feel the same way, your relationship likely wouldn’t change, but there was still that tiny voice that said it’s better to stay like this in case things do go wrong — and this was the first time you listened to that voice. You simply valued your friendship too much.

But that didn’t mean you were going to be completely quiet about it — you hoped that if you did enough, he would be able to realize you liked him and do the whole process for you. A bit of a dim hope, but crushes make people do stupid things.

Things like bringing an extra coffee to every session, laughing at all his jokes (even the bad ones), sitting a little closer to him than usual, not dropping out of this wretched class so you could spend time together (it might’ve been required, but you still counted it). He didn’t make a point to object to anything, so you knew you weren’t making him uncomfortable — but you had concluded after nearly a whole semester of working and studying together that he was the most oblivious person in all of Ba Sing Se. He could teach you all kinds of formulas, but had no idea that you liked him. Grand.

Today was arguably the most important session out of any of them, seeing as your next class was the final, so it was only fitting that Sokka unknowingly made himself more interesting than any material you could’ve been working with. His arms were going to be the death of both you and your calc grade. You swore that the heat rushing to your cheeks was actually emanating off of you.

“Hey, Y/N!” Sokka grinned as he saw you and raised a hand in greeting, a sentiment you would’ve returned had it not been for the coffee cups in your hands. You settled for mirroring his grin and settled down in the seat across from him. You slid his coffee cup over, set your own down, then shrugged your bag off all before taking a seat.

“You ready to study ‘till your eyes bleed?” he asked, prompting a nervous laugh from you.

“You jest, but my eyes might actually start bleeding depending on how long we go,” you sighed. “There’s a reason I got an extra shot of espresso today.”

“Come on — by now you should know that you have nothing to worry about! I am the best teacher there is, and you got me all to yourself.”

Your eyes widened momentarily and you coughed, purposefully averting your gaze to give yourself some time to recover. Okay, he was going to make it really hard to focus today. “Let’s just get into it.”

He nodded and flipped open his notebook, beginning to talk as he rifled through his bag for a few extra things. “Okay, we’re just gonna start with going over the basics, then we’ll work our way up. There’s a couple practice problems on that page, so you can go ahead and answer those as a warmup.

You slid the notebook over in front of you and after approximately five seconds of looking at the first problem, found yourself studying Sokka rather than the material. Who could blame you? In the battle of cute tutor boy versus calculus, he was going to win every time.

He turned around and you immediately averted your eyes once again, trying to appear extremely involved, but you found that your mind was empty on anything to do with math. “Hey, uh— how do you do this first one? I’m totally blanking here.”

“We use limits in everything — this is actually something you’re really good at!” He studied you intensely and frowned. “Are you okay? Like, you’re not sick or anything, are you? You seem kinda out of it.”

You choked out a laugh and shook your head. “No, no — I’m fine. I guess I’m just a little tired.” As if to demonstrate your lie, you took a sip from your coffee and cringed internally. Love had turned you into an idiot.

He seemed to buy it as he nodded and picked up the pencil, scribbling a couple of notes as he explained the first problem to you. “Does that make sense?” You nodded and he handed the pencil back to you. “Okay — the other ones follow the same kind of process. It should be easy enough.”

You managed to get a little further in the second problem, but your lovestruck mind would not stop focusing back on Sokka every time you tried to do, well, anything. Curse him and his perfect arms, and eyes, and hairstyle, and everything.

You shook your head and set the pencil down once more, letting loose a frustrated sigh. “I don’t know what’s gotten into me.” Yes, you did. “I just can’t focus at all.” Because of you. You picked up your cup once more and took a sip, hoping it would do something to get you back into the math state of mind.

Sokka frowned once more as he put the back of his hand against your forehead. “God, you’re hot.” You nearly choked on your coffee as your eyes practically bulged out of their sockets — he had to know what he was doing by now — how could he not? “Like, you’re completely burning up. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine, I swear— I just…” you set your cup down on the table and heaved a sigh that was a touch more exasperated than necessary. “Are you telling me you seriously haven’t noticed? Like, not a single thing this whole year?”

“I’ve noticed a lot of things this year,” he chuckled. “It’s kind of our whole job, so you’re gonna have to be a lot more specific.”

You finally couldn’t hold it in anymore. “Sokka, I’m not— I’m not sick! Haven’t you noticed that I’m only ever flustered, or running into things, or forgetting info, or— or just a complete idiot when I’m around you? I like you, like, a lot, and I have for an embarrassingly long time! The reason I can’t focus is because I am hopelessly attracted to you in every single way.”

His brows creased for a moment and you clamped your mouth shut, worried that you had just ruined everything. It was only after a pause that felt like a century that he finally responded, the hint of a smirk on his lips.

“Well, why didn’t you just say something?”

You stared at him, eyes wide and lips slightly parted in pure surprise before the annoyance set in. You set your jaw as your brows furrowed and you hit him lightly on the side of his arm with the back of your palm. “You can’t be serious! You— you’ve gotta be messing with me by now. I really can’t believe that you can be that smart but this oblivious!”

He finally let the grin play across his lips in full force and he shrugged nonchalantly. “I mean, I don’t know how you don’t expect me to mess with you when you scrunch up your face all cute like that every time you get mad. Besides, I started liking you after that fifth class; I offered to help you out so I could spend more time with you! I didn’t realize you felt the same way. I kinda just enjoyed the free coffee and getting to look at you all the time.”

“I can’t believe you!” you cried as you hit his other arm. “You’re telling me that I had to deal with this- this mental turmoil about whether you liked me back, while you were just enjoying the free eye candy and coffee the whole time?”

“You have nothing to worry about! I enjoyed the company far more than the coffee,” he joked, a certain twinkle in his eye. “But, you are probably out a couple twenties after all of that. So, what do you say about this Saturday, the cafe by the shoe store? My treat.”

“Damn right it’s your treat,” you shot back, though you couldn’t stop the smile forming on your face. “You owe me a lot — you have to make up for those coffees and all the emotional distress you caused.”

“Oh, I think I’ll have plenty of time to make up for lost time. After all, we do have a lot of coffee dates to get through.” And when he winked at you just like that first day, you remembered just how impossible it was to be angry at Sokka. “But first, we kinda have to get through this study date. The final’s still happening tomorrow.”

You responded with a raised brow. “This is a study date?”

Sokka shrugged and grinned. “They’ve all been study dates. You just didn’t know it.”

-

idiots in love idiots in love idiots In LOVe

perm tag list: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin @maruchan77

atla: @marianne1806

[svnflowervol666]

Ma Petite Chérie: Christmas Then (Harry Styles x fem!Reader)

Read more from this little universe, Ma Petite Chérie, in my masterlist!

Word Count: 6k

Summary: It’s the happiest time of the year, but it couldn’t be more miserable for Harry and Y/N.

Author’s Note: Reupload because it wasn’t working in the tags! Here is the first of two Christmas bits for Harry, Y/N and Tallulah! I’ve told you all that I planned on writing about Harry and Y/N breaking up early on in their relationship, so I decided to add a little Christmas spirit into the mix in honor of the season. I promise, the next part isn’t this sad. I always feel like I’m not that great at writing angst, mostly because it hurts my heart too much, but I hope I did this story enough justice. Feedback is greatly appreciated, it helps to keep me going and to write things that you guys actually want to read. Any who, enjoy! The next part will be up by the end of the month. Take care and TPWK.

Harry had never thought that a night out with his colleagues would cost him his world. It was supposed to be a celebration of another successful year at his job, nothing more. It was supposed to be dinner, a few rounds of whiskey with his team, and an early night back to the two girls he loved the most who waited impatiently for his return. It wasn’t supposed to be a trip to the club, where the bass in the speakers replaced Harry’s own heartbeat and made his mind temporarily forget where his priorities lied. He thought that he’d only be there long enough to not seem like an uptight asshole that didn’t care to have any fun, but alas. Harry can be quite the pushover, and quickly slipped into that inedbriated state that often persuades you to do things you know you shouldn’t.

Harry had certainly thought wrong.

Y/N, on the other hand, was only supposed to be gone long enough to clear her head. Steam was practically billowing out of her at lightspeed the night this all happened. It would later be referred to as “The-Incident-That-We-Don’t-Speak-About-Because-It’s-Painful-Too-Even-Think-About” in the future, but right now, it consumed her. Every little detail of that night and the argument that followed haunted her like a reoccurring bad dream that she couldn’t shake. The way he smelled like cigarettes from keeping his coworkers company on the club’s smoking patio, the way his eyes were glassy from one (or two) ((or three)) too many shots of tequila, the way he yelled at her. She had assured him that all she needed was time to think, and then she’d be back to talk. At the time, she had told him that she quite frankly didn’t want to even be in the same postal code as him, so she left. All that was in the duffle bag she packed in four minutes flat was her toothbrush, face wash, and enough clothes to get her through the weekend while she cooled off at her friend’s apartment.

She didn’t plan on being gone for sixteen days.

A lot had occurred to her in her time away from Harry. One, was that this was the first time they had fought. Ever. She’d always wondered if her time with Harry would ever stop feeling like a fairytale that only existed in novels and storybooks. Everything about the two of them was picture-perfect from its conception, and had somehow only gotten sweeter as the years had passed. She firmly believed that they weren’t like everybody else, those that put on a charade around others, but were unbearably miserable in private. She had started to think that maybe it was supernatural, the way that they fit together so perfectly that she thought no one else on the planet could make her feel the way Harry does, perfectly complete and peaceful. But it was turning out to be as simple as the age-old saying, life is not always rainbows and butterflies.

Two, was this really what Y/N wanted? She didn’t give it a second thought when it came to Harry having a child, quickly stepping into the role of being someone important in Tallulah’s life. And Harry let her, too. As cautious as he is about who he involves his daughter with, it was almost scary the way he let her in and allowed her to love and care for her. Yes, scary. Scary, because children are permanent and they are hard work and they include making sacrifices that sometimes don’t seem fair. So, Y/N had been asking herself if this was where she saw herself staying, as she had too big of a heart to become such an important character in Tallulah’s life to decide somewhere down the line that she suddenly didn’t want to be tied down anymore. It wasn’t fair to the poor girl, just a measly four years old, to have to go through losing someone that had promised to love her forever. Twice.

Deep down, she knew that this, Harry’s modest yet still lavish home with a pastel yellow door and vegetable garden out back that was often littered with dolls and abandoned sun hats from the cutest little thing that Y/N had ever seen, was where she wanted to be. But this brought her to the third thing she had pondered whilst she rotted on her friend’s uncomfortable sofa at 2 a.m. as she’d waited for her melatonin supplements to enter her system and send her off into a subdued state.

Could she ever forgive him for what he said?

//

It was just one week before Christmas. Harry texted her at least once everyday, Y/N only replying to the ones when he’d asked her if she was ready to talk, to which she’d tell him that she wasn’t, and that she promised she’d tell him when she was. Part of her stayed away from him for so long because she feared that somehow, deep down, the right thing to do was to stay away forever, and that was certainly going to be the worst day of her life. It would be for the better, Y/N thinks, if that is the case, but she’s trying very hard not to think about that being the endgame for her and Harry. Hence the inner turmoil that’s consuming Y/N’s body whole.

Sarah had promised her that Harry wasn’t coming. They sided with her on this one, she’d said, thus rescinding his invitation to her and Mitch’s annual holiday party. It felt somewhat wrong to be going to see Harry’s friends without him, especially given the fact that they’d more or less been split up for the past two weeks. But as much as they were Harry’s friends, they were also hers too. Harry really knew how to pick the ones he held closest - they were good people. He knows how to chose them because Harry is also a good person and Y/N knows this, and that makes it all the more painful when she pulls into the car park designated for guests of the condominium where Mitch and Sarah lived.

They’d seemed a bit off when they welcomed her into the sizey flat with the small, wrapped gift she’d brought for their exchange, but Y/N dismisses their seemingly rehearsed greetings as pity. Although the last thing she wants is to talk about Harry, she finds their condolences and overall presence soothing. She hadn’t seen much aside from her friend that she’d been staying with and her overweight, powder white cat these days, so human interracton in any capacity was refreshing.

Until it wasn’t.

The longer she stood in the circle of the others that came to the party, mindlessly nodding along to whatever was being said but not actually paying any attention, the longer she was left to sit with her thoughts. She remembers the three other times she’d come to Mitch and Sarah’s for this exact party, and how warm and loved she felt. Right now, all she feels is the cold radiating off of the sliding glass door that she’s leaning on and loneliness. To Y/N, it almost felt like everyone in the room knew what had happened to her and Harry. Like they were trying too hard to be cordial with her because they saw her as the girl that Harry yelled terrible things at and did terrible things too. It was overbearing and she had to get out before she exploded.

Finding aid in the very sliding glass door that chilled her to the bone, she wandered out on the patio to get away from the noise that was so loud yet so quiet at the same time. Tiny snowflakes coated the railing and the outdoor furniture, enough to illuminate her surroundings in an almost purple glow despite the time of night. If Tallulah were here, she’d convince Y/N to catch them on her tongue with her. Any other time, a thought like that would have made her smile, but right now it just made her sad. She wasn’t wearing a coat, yet she couldn’t find herself to care in this moment.

She wanted Harry. She wanted Harry there with her, whispering in her ear that Josie is full of herself and will say anything to get people’s attention and that he thinks they should ditch the party early so they can “warm each other up” at home. Despite the ache in her bones that wished for him, she couldn’t stop thinking about the last time she saw him.

~

“You’re lying.”

“Wha’ are you talkin’ about, Y/N?” he was swaying back and forth where he stood, clearly too drunk to keep his balance.

He almost sounded annoyed, but it was moreso because she’d interrupted his treck to the bedroom where his warm bed was waiting for him to ail his drunkenness and less because of her prodding.

“Clara was there, Harry. At the club. The one you forgot to tell me you were going to? She saw you. Talking to her. Any of that ring a bell?”

She made sure not to raise her voice in fear of waking up the toddler that had fallen asleep on the sofa waiting for her dad to come home so she could show him the ornaments she’d made with Y/N while he was gone, but he hadn’t come home when he’d promised her. Y/N wasn’t trying to fight, just get some answers. Yet here Harry stood, in their bathroom, lying to her face.

“Okay. So she was there ‘n we talked. We work for the same people. You’re not tellin’ me your mad that I talked t’ her about work, are yeh? Talked t’ her about work at a work party?”

“I’m not stupid, Harry. Stop doing that.”

Harry huffed in annoyance, as if her mere presence was beginning to cause his disdain.

“Then stop actin’ like it was somethin’ that it wasn’t. Swear t’ you. She came up to me, asked how Lulah had been, we talked about work for a second, and that was it. Fuck, even told her about you for christ’s sake.”

“I couldn’t care less that you talked to her, Harry. It’s the fact that you didn’t tell me you’d be out later than you said, went to a club, talked to her, the girl that broke your fucking heart, and I found out from a friend. And when I asked you about it, you lied. Do you see how fucking bad that looks?”

“Why don’t yeh ask Clara what she saw, hmm? Since you’re so keen on taking her word for it. She’s gonna tell you that nothing. Happened. I’m truly sorry I didn’t tell yeh I’d be out late. Didn’t think I’d be gone that long and just got carried away.”

Y/N was fighting tears now. He was talking in circles, unwilling to see her side and acknowledge that he’d done wrong.

“That’s what you’ve been saying for the past month, Harry. You’re always getting carried away with work and leaving me to take care of her. I can’t tell you how many times Tallulah’s asked why you’re always missing dinner and why you don’t go take her to her ice skating lessons or help her wash her hair anymore. She misses you. So do I. And then you go and do this. I know you’re busy this time of year but I also know you’re doing more than you’re being asked of, so don’t pull that shit with me. Would it kill you to come home every now and then and at least eat some pasta with your fucking daughter?”

Harry’s brows were furrowed together, eyes dark and half-shut in what was the beginning of a drunken rage. For a split second, Y/N saw a flicker of sadness within the deep green of his irises, but it disappeared as quickly as it came.

“Yeh say that like she’s a burden. ‘S that it? You’re mad that you have t’ babysit?”

“Harry,” Y/N warned him.

He was treading territory that would be hard to back away from once he took the first step.

“What? If it was that big of a fuckin’ deal, you could have told me that you don’t like keeping after her.”

“Jesus, it’s not!”

She was yelling now, unable to keep her emotions from getting the best of her. She looked after Tallulah like she was the one that had given birth to the four year old that slept peacefully on the couch, cuddling her stuffed elephant in place of her father.

“You know that I love her and that I’d do anything for her, but it’s different when you leave me alone with her all of the time. She needs you, Har. More than she needs me, and you’re acting like your job is more important than her. You have to be there for her, Harry.”

A nasty scoff left Harry’s chest that would haunt Y/N forever. She’d never forget what he said next.

“Right. Thanks for the parenting tip. Last time I checked you weren’t her fucking mu-”

~

“Yeh gonna freeze t’ death out here, ya know?”

The same voice that plagued her head pulled her out of reliving the events that landed her here, on a snow-covered patio, just as the first of what she knew were going to be many tears rolled down her face.

Y/N whipped her head around, frowning when she realized that Sarah and Mitch had lied to her and that they definitely had invited both of them to the Christmas party.

“Should have known those two were up to something,” was all she replied, quickly swiping the single, stray tear that stung her cheek as it touched the cold air.

“Jesus, you’re shivering. Here,” Harry began shrugging off his coat, ready to offer it to Y/N to keep her from catching pnuemonia.

She hadn’t realized just how cold she was. Her lips felt like they were going to crack at any moment, and she was almost certain it would take upwards of an hour for her to feel her toes again.

“Harry-” Y/N started, her voice sounding soft and defeated.

“Please don’t be stupid, Y/N. You’re gonna get sick.”

He spoke to her in the way that he would Tallulah when she refused to let him brush her hair after a bath, sternly insisting that she’d wake up with painful knots in her head if she didn’t let him run a comb through it. There was something comforting about it, but also something so incredibly sad about it all at the same time.

Reluctantly and without looking him directly in the eyes, she took the long, fur-lined coat from his hands, almost flinching when she accidentally touched pinkies with him. The coat was well-loved, ridden with his scent and most likely permanently stained with a little bit of spit up from when Tallulah was a baby. It smelled like home, Y/N thought.

There was a long pause between them, neither knowing what to say or where to even start. Y/N found herself missing Harry even more now that he was standing right next to her, brawny arms leaning against the frozen railing.

“How’s Lulah?” she asked, able to find her voice amongst the anxiety prodding every inch of her body.

Harry nodded as if to say she was alright, then cleared his throat.

“Good. Misses you.”

He wanted to tell her that he missed her, too. A whole fucking lot. But he was trying to prolong having that conversation in fear that it wouldn’t end the way he’d planned it in his head and she’d walk away from him forever.

“She asks about you every day. ‘Bout when you’re comin’ home. Said she doesn’t like how quiet it is without your music playing in the kitchen.”

She was crying now. Fat, wet, silent tears in the opposite of Harry’s direction so he couldn’t see. She missed hearing Tallulah’s raspy voice asking her question after question about where eggs come from and why anyone would dare take away someone’s babies the way farmers do with mummy chickens.

“I know you’re not ready to talk,” Harry began.

“But do yeh think you could at least come home? It doesn’t feel right without you there.”

Y/N did what she could could manage the tears streaming down her face like a waterfall, hoping Harry would think her face was just cold as she aggressively rubbed her cheeks with her fists.

She was ready to give in, seeing him in person immediately shattering any bit of strength to stay away from him that she had left. Maybe she’d find some clarity if she stopped sleeping on a pull-out sofa that did absolutely nothing for her already-bad back and went back to where she’d lived for over a year with the two people she felt like she’d spent a lifetime loving.

Slowly, her eyes went to meet his. She saw how tired he looked, for lack of a better word. Even though it was dark, the light from the snow accentuated the deep circles under his eyes. His hair looked like it hadnt been washed in days, the way it used to look when Tallulah was a baby that cried at all hours of the night. His posture was, to be quite honest, shittier than it normally was. Y/N knows it hasn’t been that long since she’d been gone, but she could almost swear he looked skinnier than the last time she’d seen him, given that the hollows of his cheeks looked concave and scrawny.

Just as she parted her surely-blue lips, ready to tell him everything she’d wanted to tell him for the past two weeks, the ringing of Harry’s cell phone caused them both to jump.

“Fuck,” Harry muttered under his breath.

“’M sorry. It’s mum. She’s got Lulah. Give me just one second.”

His eyes were pleading, almost like he was silently begging her not to run off if that’s what she was thinking of doing. Y/N’s ears perked up at the mention of his mother. She wondered if she knew about any of this. Surely she did, as Harry tends to confide in her for just about everything.

She was trying not to be nosy, but it appeared that Anne was speaking quite loudly, so it was a bit hard for her not to. She couldn’t make out exactly what she was saying, but she did hear one word. It was clear as day, and she knew immediately that something was wrong.

Raspberries.

Y/N’s head whipped around in Harry’s direction, and she saw the way his face was void of all color and his chest had started to heave.

“That’s never happened before. Did you give her the antihistamine?....What’s she sayin’?....Jesus Christ, mum. You have to calm down. Just go ahead and take her. I’ll meet yeh there. They’ll probably just have t’ give her a shot or somethin’....Mum, it’s alright. You didn’t know. Just get her in the car, please. I’ll be there in twenty.”

Harry clicked his phone off and shoved it in his back pocket, a sense of urgency taking over him.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I’ve got t-”

“What happened?”

Y/N was just as worried as Harry was, feeling sick to her stomach that something clearly awful had happened to her.

“Mum’s watching Rosie, too. Lulah got into the bag Gem packed for her and ate somethin’ with raspberries in it. Said her throat feels scratchy, which is-”

“That’s not normal,” Y/N stated, being keenly aware of how Tallulah only ever tends to break out in a slight rash every time she eats the bright pink fruit.

“Yeah,” Harry replied.

“Y/N, I have t’ go. But I really want to talk t’ you. You don’t have t’ say anything back. Just hear me out, yeah? Please don’t disappear on me again.”

She wasn’t listening to him, only worried about the little girl with too many allergies and a keen interest in anything sweet.

“Can I go with you?”

Her voice was quiet, as if she were afraid of Harry telling her that she wasn’t allowed to see his daughter. She knew it was his decision and that she had to respect it, but all she wanted to do was hold her tiny body in her arms and tell her how much she missed her and that she was going to be alright.

Harry stuttered a bit, clearly not expecting her to ask him such a thing. Part of him was happy that she was willingly offering to be near him, but he supposes it’s only got to do with her worry for his daughter.

“I, erm, uh, yeah. Of course. Let’s go. Mum’s taking her t’ the hospital over by her house.”

He ushered her back into the warm apartment and back out the front door towards his car. They couldn’t even be bothered to acknowledge the stares thrown their way.

//

The car ride was quiet. Harry had left the radio off during his drive to Mitch and Sarah’s, too busy rehearsing what he was going to say to Y/N if she actually let him talk to her. Y/N sat with her knees to her chest, but opted not to turn away from him. That was a good sign, Harry thought. The heat was on, but Y/N was still freezing. She supposes Harry was right about her getting sick.

“Could you drive a little faster?” Y/N asked after some time, fiddling with the cuff of her jeans.

“No,” Harry retorted.

“It’s snowing, Y/N. Don’t need all three of us t’ end up in the hospital.”

She had half the nerve to roll her eyes at him, but she knew he was right.

“Hey,” Harry called out to her.

He started to reach over the center console for her hand out of habit, but felt his heart sink into his stomach when he remembered the state of their relationship and slowly retracted it. He thought she didn’t notice, but she did.

“She’s gonna be fine. Mum said she wasn’t even crying. Probably just needs a few shots t’ make the swelling go down.”

Y/N nodded instead of responding, sinking further into the seat but keeping her eyes on the snowy road ahead of her.

Silence took over again as they trecked through the snow towards Tallulah, with tension so thick it felt suffocating. From the corner of her eye, she saw a pair of Tallulah’s winter gloves tucked into one of the cup holders and she wanted to cry again.

But instead of doing that, she laid her palm face-up on the console, waiting for Harry’s eyes to catch them. When they did, he hesitated, flickering between her hand and her face. She still wasn’t looking directly at him, but he knew she knew he was looking at her.

He tested her first, lying his hand next to hers, but not touching. She didn’t pull her hand away, and he swears when he looked down, he saw her hand inch towards his as if she were coaxing him. Harry thinks this might be the last time he gets to touch her if she decides that she can’t forgive him for what he said, so he goes for it.

He laces his fingers with hers, feeling an overwhelming sense of relief take over his head and his heart when he finally got to feel her skin against his after what felt like centuries. She doesn’t wrap her fingers around his like he did to hers, her hand still lying limp against the arm rest, but he’s okay with that.

It isn’t until they’re pulling into the hospital that Y/N gives Harry’s hand a squeeze.

They were getting there. At least Harry hoped.

//

Y/N is physically unable to keep herself from smiling when she hears Tallulah practically squeal her name the second she steps into the room she’d been given. Her voice was deeper than usual, most definitely due to the accident that landed her here in the first place. Tallulah all but jumped out of her bed to greet her with a hug, which Y/N accepted without a second thought as she wrapped her arms around the small girl and sat with her on the bed, most likely staining Harry’s coat with the emollient cream they’d coated her rash with at the hospital. As if that coat could take any more beatings.

Harry watched from the corner, feeling somewhat out of place for whatever reason. He knew he owed Y/N an apology for what he said to her that night, and at that moment he felt like he owed Tallulah one, too. How could he say those things to her? How could he let his arrogance get the best of him and ruin the best thing that’s ever happened to him?

Anne briefed him while Tallulah had her mini-reunion with Y/N, letting him know they’d given her a few shots and could go home as soon as the swelling in her throat had gone down. She wouldn’t stop apologizing to Harry for causing her grandbaby harm, but Harry assured her for the twentieth time that accidents happen and that it certainly could have been worse. Anne soon sensed the tension between Harry and who she hoped would be her daughter-in-law one day, and told Harry she’d better get going because she’d left Rosie with the neighbor. Her eyes urged Harry to fix this shit at all costs because she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to him, and Harry was not one to disobey his mother.

“Are you coming home?” Harry heard Tallulah ask Y/N.

He locked eyes with her for a split-second.

“Yeah,” Y/N sighed.

Harry felt his heart jump as he was now paying extra attention to the woman holding his daughter like she was the most precious thing on earth.

“Gotta make sure you get tucked into bed alright.”

And then it sunk.

“Will you be there when I wake up?” Tallulah asked with eerily familiar green eyes peering up at Y/N from her lap.

This time it was her heart that sunk.

“I....don’t know, Lulah. We’ll see,” she whispered, feeling tears pool in her eyes once again.

Y/N hid her face in Tallulah’s hair, for fear that Harry would see her.

“How’s Carrot, hmm? ‘S he doing good?” Y/N blurts out in diversion, hoping Tallulah would be more interested in talking about the fish Y/N had won her at a carnival a few years ago than where she stood with her and Harry.

Tallulah talked her ear off, filling her in on everything she’d missed while she was gone. She tells Y/N that their kale plant in the garden was huge now, seemingly sprouting overnight. She also tells Y/N that Rosie can walk now, or at least can wobble a few steps before falling down on her bum.

Harry watches as Y/N pretends like everything Tallulah is telling her is the most interesting news she’s ever heard. That’s what parents do, and that’s exactly what Harry had shouted at Y/N that she wasn’t. He had fucked up in the worst way and only fate could tell him whether or not he’d be able to fix it.

It was Harry’s turn to cry now, pretending to rub exhaustion out of his eyes rather than tears. Much like earlier when he’d instinctively reached for her hand, he’d hoped she didn’t see it.

She did.

//

Y/N kept her promise to Tallulah and tucked her into bed after she was discharged and sent home with a steroid pack and rash cream. She willed away the wave of nausea she felt walking into the house she’d shared with Harry after all of this time, telling herself that she just needed to make sure Tallulah knew she was at least there to tuck her in. She took turns with Harry, each of them running their fingers through her curls and telling her to have sweet dreams and that they hoped she felt better in the morning. Tallulah insisted that she was fine and wanted to stay up and talk to Y/N about what she thought Santa was doing right now and if he was going to bring her the glittery nail polish that she’d asked him for, but the sleepiness in her eyes told a different story.

“Do you want me t’ call Sarah and have her take you back to your car?” Harry asked when they returned to the living room where they’d entered.

“Figured we ought to have that talk,” she said, unable to meet his eyes for the umpteenth time that night.

“Yeah,” Harry replied in a tone that almost sounds like relief.

“We can definitely do that.”

The pair find their way to the couch, sitting faced towards each other, but not touching. It’s awkward and it makes Y/N want to fall apart because this is her Harry and she’s in her own home, yet it didn’t quite feel it.

“You hurt my feelings,” is all she says, picking at a loose thread on the sofa.

“I know I did,” Harry began.

“I can’t take any of that back, but I want you t’ know how sorry I am, Y/N. None of that shit was true. I should have told you I was gonna be out late. Shouldn’t have even gone out with them, t’ be honest. I couldn’t even tell yeh why I lied when you asked if I saw her there. Just didn’t want you t’ get the wrong idea, I guess.”

“Harry, I already told you that I didn’t care that you-”

“I know yeh did,” Harry interjected, “But I want you t’ know that I’d never even think about doing something like that t’ you. You’re quite literally the best thing that’s ever happened t’ me. Sometimes I don’t even think you’re real. I wouldn’t have made it without you. Neither would Lulah. And that...”

He pauses, trying not to burst into tears right in front of her. Y/N sees his jaw tensing, something Tallulah does when she’s attempting to calm herself down after throwing a fit. She isn’t sure why, but she begins to feel at ease the longer he talks. Maybe it’s just hearing the sound of his voice after so long or maybe it’s because he’s telling her what she’s been wanting to hear, what she was once afraid that she’d never be able to.

“That shit I said about you not being Lulah’s mum. That’s a load. I know you know that. You are her mum, whether she knows that or not. I’m sure she does... I know she does. You’ve been there for everything. You never complain when it gets hard. Yeh could’ve been doing anything else besides helping my sorry ass take care of her, but you didn’t. ‘M not sure if I’m doin’ a good job of convincing you to stay, wouldn’t blame you if yeh didn’t want to, but I really hope that you do. If you don’t, I still want yeh t’ know that you’re her mum. You’ve done things for her that she doesn’t even realize. She loves you so much, Y/N. And so do I. You’re the love of my life. Always will be. I don’t think there’s anybody else out there that makes me feel the way you do. You’re it for me and I need you t’ know that.”

He’s blubbering now, not caring that she sees the salty streaks subconsciously flowing from his dark and gloomy eyes. He felt it coming. She was going to leave. She was going to finish packing tonight and walk out of his life and he wouldn’t get to spend the rest of his life showing her how much he loved her.

That’s when he feels a hand on his shoulder. It’s light, but it’s meant to be comforting.

“Can it be my turn now?” her voice laced with tears as well.

Clearly it was a night for crying.

Harry nods, because that’s all he can do.

“I was frustrated, that night. I don’t think I should have made as big of deal out of you staying out so la-”

“No. You should have. I was being an ars-”

“Harry,” she pleads, “Let me finish, please.”

He lets out a shaky, “Okay,” and she continues.

“It’s not a big deal when you go out with your friends. You’ve just been so....absent lately and that was what set me off. When Clara called me that night it was just so, embarrassing I guess? I didn’t know what to say to her, and it obviously didn’t look good. But I know you wouldn’t do that to me. You’re a good person and a good dad, Harry. I hope you know that, even if you don’t feel like it right now. And the Lulah thing...that hurt. A lot. I know you’re stubborn and hate admitting that you’re wrong, so I’m going to let that speak for itself, but I’ve never once regretted anything that I’ve done with you two. I knew it would be different being with you, but I’ve never thought of any of this as a sacrifice or a burden. You guys make me so happy. I don’t think you’ll ever understand how much of a privilege this has felt like to me, to be able to watch her grow up and be a part of it. She is the most magical thing that’s ever happened to me. And so are you.”

Harry’s staring at her, still crying, sillhouette lit up by the lights on the Christmas tree behind her that’s decorated with the ornaments she made with his daughter on that dreadful night. He doesn’t want to hurt Lulah’s feelings, but he makes a mental note to throw them away the second he’s able to so he doesn’t have to think about this ever again.

“I love you, Harry. Please don’t ever lie to me again. Even if it’s about how many minutes you are away from the grocery store. I can’t take it. And I can’t stand to feel so far away from you like this. It’s....gross. And I hate it.”

He perks up at what she’s just said, wondering if she’s saying what he thinks she’s saying.

“You’re staying?” he sounds hoarse and both him and Y/N know he’ll wake up in the morning with a headache from how much he’d been crying.

“Don’t think I have it in me to leave, bubs.”

There’s the slightest hint of a smile on her lips, and Harry’s pulling her into his chest. She holds him as he weeps silently into her neck. The cloud of sadness that had held her captive like a nightmare rushed out of her body so quickly that she couldn’t quite process it. All she felt now were Harry’s arms holding her close and his blubbering into her hair about how he was sorry over and over again.

“I know you are,” Y/N cooed, scratching his scalp in the way that she knew calmed him down.

“‘M gonna keep sayin’ it until you believe me,” he whimpered.

“I do believe you, Harry. I promise. We’re gonna be alright.”

That seemed to steady him a bit as he collected himself. He still held her as his shaking breaths began to even out. He wouldn’t dream of letting her go ever again.

“We’re gonna be alright,” Harry repeated to her, his voice almost inaudible had Y/N not been as close to him as she possibly could have been.

She pulls back to brush the stray curls from his forehead, where she pressed her lips gently to his temple as if he was so delicate that he might shatter if she used anymore force.

This time it was Y/N that saw his face surrounded by the multi-colored lights strung around the fir tree they’d picked from the farm just days before they thought their world was ending. He was beautiful, from the crown of his hair to the tips of his toes, inside and out, she thought. Maybe he didn’t feel like it at the moment, but Y/N made a promise to herself that she’d spend the rest of her life proving to him that he was.

[g7mafiascenarios]

The Guests.

synopsis : Soojin was greeted by the Lims in her own kitchen home that includes Jaebeom too.

characters : Lim Jaebeom, Moon Soojin, The Lims, The Moons

genre : mafia!jb, got7!mafia

a/n : a little fluff, just mafia related topics like killing and mention of porn

Soojin thought things would turn awkward after that day but no, it was rather than the opposite. 

Whenever she walked past Jaebeom through the hallways or when there were meetings that involved business in the MOON headquarters, she would be greeted with a small smile whenever they made eye contact.

She was amazed that whenever he would give her a smile, the next second his face would turn back cold when facing his own colleagues. 

He was very professional, but she would always be self-conscious when seeing his little glances and stares whenever they were in the same meeting room, sitting across each other.

At some point, both of them started to make small conversation right after meetings and Jaebeom would have to be called out by his own men, and she could see that he would get annoyed. 

Both of them somehow get used to each other’s humors - mainly Jaebeom getting used to Soojin’s humors and understanding why Jaebeom would often get pissed or annoyed, hearing some unpleasant news regarding his own mafia group.

That involves violence and just things that Soojin hoped her own family or especially Hyunjae, didn’t need to face. 

Jaebeom had no choice but to break the truth at Soojin regarding what’s happening with her parents’ company and his own company. 

He didn’t explain everything - instead, he told Soojin not to worry but Jaebeom said he felt grateful to her parents for helping his family.

Until one day, Soojin received an unknown call and without hesitation she answered the call to hear Jaebeom basically rushing to get her from her floral shop - sounding so rushed and just in need while driving, which he received a scolding from Soojin in the middle of the night by the street.

He was just worried for her after being informed by her own men that things started to get a little messy and ugly, already concerned for Soojin as the girl was not aware of her surroundings and to Jaebeom, she is still considered innocent although her parents and her older brother aren’t exactly as innocent as her.

After that night, Jaebeom boldly asked for her number and Soojin being Soojin, she just gave him her number and probably sent him a few random jokes and picked up lines with ‘Please don’t call me during work. Don't worry, asking for a coffee date after work isn’t included so hit me up.....bro :p’

With him replying to her - while trying not to hide that he was flirting with her, he would reply to her the same way. Jaebeom wouldn’t hesitate to send a few good morning texts or even good night texts, and even texts that concern about her well-being.

So in Soojin’s words of vocabulary, she has unlocked his friendship with him of Level 5.

But recently, Jaebeom had been so busy that he had replied to her text in about a day - as he had to go places from places to settle some businesses. Soojin completely understands him so she just let him be.

It’s Saturday today and the whole Moon family is in their house, everyone in their own rooms and that’s when Soojin had to put away her laptop after feeling her phone bombarded with notifications from a group chat where all the employees are in.

There were 100+ messages and it was too much that Soojin just let it happen until one message caught her attention.

‘Security systems would always be activated and drastic measures has been made ; forwards by Security Department,’

Soojin raised an eyebrow towards the message before making her way next door, to see Hyunjae on his laptop too, looking as serious as ever. He didn’t even notice her presence as she needed to knock on the door.

Hyunjae’s head turned towards the sound as he immediately had his eyes wide while putting away his laptop.

“H-hey.. What’s up?” Hyunjae stuttered a little causing Soojin to look at him weirdly.

“What were you doing? Watching porn?” Soojin looked towards where he put the laptop - earning a flick on the forehead by Hyunjae, making Soojin to yell out in pain.

“That is fake and it’s better to experience it,”

“That’s gross - hearing it from you… Back to the actual topic why I’m here… have you seen the messages? What’s going on?” asked Soojin with a frown while leaning against the wall.

Hyunjae lets out a sigh, knowing she was going to ask him.

“Our rival came back,” Hyunjae muttered and Soojin raised her eyebrows in shock.

“I thought they were dead?”

“They were supposed to be dead, but I don’t know they had their ways.. So now, we are trying to protect our beloved company with the help of your boyfriend..” Now it was Hyunjae’s turn to raise an eyebrow while smiling cheekily towards Soojin who was then confused who he meant.

“Wait… Woah! Hold on.... Jaebeom isn’t my boyfriend! He is my friend...okay maybe a close friend but— okay getting side tracked here but, why do we need his help?” Soojin questioned Hyunjae as he made his way out of his room.

“Because Jaebeom is known to have a powerful source of group?”

“I thought you are known to be more powerful, with all that killing and running after people who killed the innocents….?” Soojin followed his tone of voice, following her brother’s footsteps.

“I’m not the only mafia boss's son in this business, Soojin. It’s complicated but there would be a merge in both of our companies so.. You’ll get to see your boyfriend everyday!” Hyunjae yelled happily while running down the stairs.

“What are you talking about!?! Again, he’s not my boyfriend! He’s just—

Hyunjae’s track stopped just as he was about to enter the kitchen. He was smiling slightly while turning to face Soojin with a wink.

“Eww, why are you winking at me? And why are you standing there? Since we’re in the kitchen, let’s cook some—-

Her own words were cut off, seeing a few people sitting on the kitchen isle - looking like they were in a business meeting. Soojin’s eyes finally caught Jaebeom, seeing him slightly waving towards her.

“Boyfriend,” Hyunjae whispered towards her ears, then patting her shoulders before greeting the Lims, afterwards leaving them quickly.

Soojin glared towards Hyunjae as he stuck out his tongue to her, then left her behind.

“Ah.. Ms Soojin, have we disturbed your moment to enter the kitchen?” Mr Lim jokes and Soojin chuckled as a response while hugging her own parents then giving a polite hug to Mrs Lim, and a handshake with Mr Lim as business partners.

She was about to walk past Jaebeom when he tugged her arm.

“I don’t get a handshake?” Jaebeom frowns slightly, extending his dominant hand for a handshake - earning a roll on the eye from Soojin while accepting his handshake.

He knew he had started to develop feelings for her, as soon as he heard her voice clearly even from upstairs, he could feel his own heart beating rather fast.

Jaebeom had to somehow hide it, so that people won’t see through him - so far the one who knew about his crush of Soojin would be her own brother himself.

Now, Hyunjae could be seen as goofy and just upbeat when he is with his own family, especially Soojin but when it comes to business which Jaebeom always had with Hyunjae, Jaebeom could see that this guy is way more scarier on the way he could change his expression and emotions.

Jaebeom admits that the Moons are actually scarier than his own family but when 2 families combine, everyone should be afraid and that’s what they were having a discussion about.

Now the problem is, there was something that had to be done in order for both families and companies to combine - which involves marriage. It was hard for both parties, especially the Moons since the Lims were the ones who requested the offer since it was better that way.

The Lims already treated Soojin and Hyunaje as their own, both the Moons and the Lims have been friends for almost more than 10 years, they were even friends when their children weren't even born.

Jaebeom doesn’t know how to break it to Soojin.

“Jaebeom, I think you can let go now or my apple is gonna rot,” Soojin’s voice made Jaebeom wavered off his thoughts - realizing that he was holding onto her hand, also earning giggles from both parents.

“Sorry,” muttered Jaebeom as Soojin could only smile in response. Her gaze changed towards the adults.

“I’m sorry to interfere but why are you… why.. In the kitchen isle?” Soojin muttered in confusion, turning towards her father who was scratching the back of his head, looking flustered.

“It’s a private meeting, Ms Soojin. That’s why it is held in the kitchen. It seems it's the only safe place here since there are no windows and doors except for the entrance to the hallway,” Mr Lim answered with an amused look and Soojin nodded slowly.

“Is there anything that I could get you? That’s the least I could do since I am unaware of your presence,” Soojin offered, earning proud smiles from her own parents and amused smiles from the Lims.

“It’s okay.. We’re about to leave soon anyway, maybe you could walk us out?” Jaebeom answered, earning a smack on the head by Mrs Lim.

“Jaebeom! She’s a young woman! You don’t let her guide us out!” Mrs Lim scolded him, seeing Jaebeom pouting slightly - causing Soojin to giggle slightly, seeing everyone standing out.

“It’s okay, Mrs Lim. I would love to accompany all of you,” answered Soojin softly, as the adults proceeded to walk ahead while Jaebeom walked beside Soojin.

“I’m sure Hyunjae had informed you the details,” said Jaebeom, feeling Soojin looking at his way.

“Not all of the details, he just told me about the possibility of both of our companies merging together, that’s all,” stated Soojin with a shrug. She could a slight change of expression on Jaebeom, an expression of worry as it turns into a smile. 

“What he said is true, well it’s an agreement between two companies but there is no further confirmation so… you don’t have to worry about seeing me everyday,” Jaebeom joked - earning a slight frown from Soojin.

“I didn’t say that! It’s Hyunjae! He’s being his usual dickhead,” muttered Soojin as before, letting Jaebeom say his goodbyes to her parents, then running towards Soojin as she was somehow standing in front of his car.

“So….. you do want to see me everyday?” Jaebeom wondered shyly, seeing a shade of red on Soojin’s cheeks.

“I never said that too.. But.. I would be lying if I say no..” answered Soojin with a small smile while rubbing her arms in coldness since it was past 8 at night.

Soojin turned towards where both families were, seeing that they were whispering with each other while secretly glancing towards her way.

Weird,

But soon, Mr and Mrs Lim bid their goodbyes to her parents with a hug then walking towards where the 2 young ones are.

“Well, I’ll see you around then,” said Jaebeom as Soojin looked up at him while nodding. 

Jaebeom was about to turn his back but stop, facing Soojin again as he was debating if he should ask her. Seeing how Soojin looked at him, Jaebeom gulped slightly.

“C-Can I hug you?” Jaebeom stuttered slightly - making Soojin have wide eyes. Jaebeom saw her reaction as he immediately shook his head, realizing he was making himself look so vulnerable.

“N—

“I never said no, Jaebeom.” Soojin cuts him off in an instant and seeing how hesitant Jaebeom looked, Soojin rolls her eyes before pulling his arm, embracing him into her arms as she patted his back.

Jaebeom was obviously surprised by what she did. 

No one, yes, no one dared to lay a finger on his arms nor body. Usually his rivals would be killed with just a few gunshots if they lay a single hand on him.

Soojin was the first out of others than his own family to be intimate. 

Once Soojin breaks the hug, Jaebeom looks at her with a smile forming onto his lips.

Maybe asking for something directly wasn’t so bad after all.

𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ⇿ 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫

𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

[gb-fics]

A Christmas Miracle

Fanfiction:

Kiryuuin Shou x Kyan Yutaka (Golden Bomber)

Note: Merry Christmas, everyone! (^-^)

“Can’t you hurry?”, Shou muttered.

Yutaka was still fixing his hair in the mirror. Everyone else had already left the dressing rooms.

It was actually nice to take a shower right after the concert, remove the makeup and slip into more comfortable clothes. Usually, the routine felt rushed, with the fans cheering outside and wanting to catch the car before anyone could get the idea to wait up for them. That at least was an advantage of the digital lives they held nowadays. Shou missed seeing the happy faces of the fans while he sung to them, but he felt slightly less worn out after the shows. Right now, he didn’t feel sweaty and disgusting and rushing to get home. He felt like maybe a beer and some company would be nice. It was Christmas Eve after all.

“Will that take much longer?”, Shou kept nagging. “Because I think almost everyone else already left. I’d feel bad to make them wait just for us.”

“It takes time to look this good”, Yutaka said jokingly and finally straightened himself.

Shou had to admit that he was looking good. Usually, he’d change into baggy clothes after the live, but tonight he wore a proper button-down shirt. The collar had glitter on it as if Yutaka had tried to capture the Christmas spirit. He hadn’t buttoned the shirt all the way up. Shou wondered, why he was dressed like that. It wasn’t Yutaka’s style at all. It suited him, though. Shou liked the look on him.

“Why are you dressed up like that anyway?”, Shou asked.

“Well, why are you dressed up?”, Yutaka wanted to know. “It’s Christmas, that’s why.”

Shou lowered his eyes and hoped the heat of his face wouldn’t show on his cheeks.

It was true, that usually he would have changed into something more homely as well. He wasn’t dressed up like Yutaka was, but at least he wore jeans that actually fit. It was a look he could wear out to a bar, in case Yutaka was up for drinks.

Shou was dressed like this for the same reason, that he was still waiting up for Yutaka now, although he took ages getting ready and everyone else had already left and Shou was annoyed with him.

Christmas was for lovers.

Of course, Yutaka and him were not lovers. They were not dating, or at least, they hadn’t outright called it that yet.

The last weeks something in their relationship had changed significantly, though. But it was very well possible, that it meant nothing to Yutaka other than killing time until their normal life was able to resume.

Both of them had felt lonely without the fans nor being able to meet friends. And they both got tested for the recordings anyway and during the shootings, they already got close. Yutaka was among the very few people, with whom Shou had been able to meet up without feeling too guilty about it. So, they had hung out at Yutaka’s place sometimes and sometimes at Shou’s place. Sometimes drinking, sometimes playing videogames, sometimes just chatting. It had felt like back in high school, when they used to meet for no other reason but the fact that they enjoyed each other’s company.

And then, one night after one beer too many, it had turned out they both craved more than just company. They craved physical touch, just feeling another human being right there next to them. Shou couldn’t even recall whom of them had initiated the first kiss. It had all felt so natural.

From there on, they had fallen into a routine without quite being able to name the point at which they started kissing on the nights without beer, too. It had been greedy and sloppy and their hands had clawed into fabric and slipped underneath shirts. That was all that had happened so far, though. Neither of them had addressed what it meant.

Shou assumed that it was just loneliness and that they would call it off silently as soon as they found other tasks and other people to keep themselves busy with. It irritated him, though, that they had met up for other things, too. A walk in the park for example. And that they called each other on almost every night they didn’t spend together. At times, it felt as if they were actually dating.

Shou wasn’t sure if that was what he wanted, but he knew that he didn’t want to spend Christmas Eve on his own. More precisely, he wanted to spend it with Yutaka, drinking and chatting and maybe going home together afterwards and finally taking off each other’s clothes for good. The drinking and chatting and laughing and hearing Yutaka’s voice was as important as the undressing in Shou’s mind, which probably meant that he would like to date. There was no point in forcing a decision now, though. They still had time. He didn’t need to put pressure on Yutaka right away. He could just make it casual. If Yutaka was still up for it, they could hang out together after the concert. Just two friends and bandmates, who had been forced to meet up today anyway. They didn’t have to label it as a Christmas date.

“Alright, let’s go”, Yutaka announced and made his way towards the door.

He did not comment on the fact, that Shou had obviously waited up for him and Shou was grateful for that. He didn’t want to explain why he had waited, although Yutaka could probably tell easily.

“Today was fun, wasn’t it?”, Shou said lamely.

He wished he had anything more interesting to say. This way, he couldn’t blame Yutaka, if he would want to call off the whole thing in a couple of months. Shou was probably not the most interesting person, who would like to go out with Yutaka. Certainly not the most handsome, Shou would have betted on that.

“Yes, though of course it would be more fun with the fans right here.”

“Yeah”, Shou agreed. For months now, it felt as if they were just repeating the same sentences over and over again until they became practically separated from their meaning altogether. Although Shou still felt it, it was starting to sound like an empty truism in his ears.

He led the way down the corridor to the front door of the venue. They usually played at bigger halls, but currently they didn’t need to fit a large audience. The place had a backdoor, too, but they hadn’t even opened it today. Carrying the equipment in that way would have been a hassle.

Shou pushed against the door. The corridor had been empty and he assumed the staff would wait for them outside.

The door didn’t open.

Shou stared at it for a moment.

He pushed again. The only result he caused was a rattling sound.

“Let me, stupid”, Yutaka said and reached past him to pull on the doorhandle. The door didn’t move that way either.

“Great job, idiot”, Shou scolded him in return. He was annoyed that Yutaka had obviously thought he was too stupid to open a door.

“Where is everyone?”, Yutaka asked and turned his head now.

“Seems they locked us in”, Shou stated the obvious.

“No way”, Yutaka said.

Shou gritted his teeth.

“Well, someone here took hours to get ready.”

“The good news is that while we are locked in, my hair looks fabulous”, Yutaka chimed.

Angrily Shou stared at the door. He didn’t like the feeling of being locked in. Sure, it was a big space, so there was no need to feel claustrophobic. It helped that Yutaka was here with him, too. He couldn’t shake the anxiety of being caged in completely, though.

“I can’t believe they forgot about the band!”, Shou muttered.

“They took Jun and Kenji at least”, Yutaka said lightly.

He sounded way too cheerful. It pissed Shou off even more.

“They forgot me!”, Shou hissed out, turning towards Yutaka angrily. “You guys could rot somewhere, but they should remember me. I’m the only person that is actually irreplaceable at these lives!”

He glared at Yutaka, fully aware that the stress turned him mean. He used to lash out at his bandmates more often in the early days, when their success still seemed unreal. It wasn’t fair to attack Yutaka just because the locked door made him uncomfortable. Moreover, since his feelings towards him had changed recently. Shou was better at driving people away than at keeping them close.

Yutaka raised his open palms in defence.

“Calm down”, he said and his voice sounded more serious now. “Don’t stress, okay? I’m sure it was an accident and they are waiting for us outside. They probably don’t know someone locked the door. I will call our manager and ask to be let out. It will be alright.”

Shou felt guilty immediately, because Yutaka didn’t lose patience with him. He seemed aware of how much the situation was stressing Shou. He had grown better at handling Shou’s temper over time. Back in the old days, Yutaka would have picked fights whenever Shou acted cranky. That was the reason why Shou didn’t regret not kissing Yutaka sooner. They had both needed to mature in order for it to work at all.

Yutaka got out his smartphone and paced down the corridor to get out of Shou’s direct earshot as he dialled. Shou assumed he was trying not to stress him by giving him the feeling he would take care of everything himself.

It actually did help. Shou felt himself relaxing. Yutaka would talk to their manager. Shou didn’t have to worry about it. He had organized the whole thing today; he was allowed to leave this small task to Yutaka now. And Yutaka was probably right. It must have been a misunderstanding. The staff was most likely waiting for them outside.

Yutaka turned back. His face did not speak of good news.

“Oh no, they forgot us”, Shou concluded, before Yutaka could say anything.

“Yeah, they totally did”, Yutaka confirmed and pulled a face. “The problem is that they don’t have a key. They need to call the owner of the venue, but obviously, he already went home. We might be a while.”

Shou groaned loudly and tilted back his head.

“What did I do to deserve this?”, he complained. “I want to go home already.”

Yutaka gave him a funny look.

Shou realized it was a stupid thing to say after he had obvious waited up for Yutaka. Of course, he hadn’t meant to go home right away. He had hoped to grab casual drinks and maybe a small snack somewhere with Yutaka. But he could hardly say “I want to go out with you already”, because then it would sound like he wanted to go on a Christmas date and he could not say that out loud, because they hadn’t talked about that yet. It was best to just let it stand there like that.

“I don’t know”, Yutaka said vaguely. “It’s kind of romantic, isn’t it? Getting locked in together on Christmas Eve and being forced to spend time together. Could be the plot of a movie.”

“Sure, it’s romantic”, Shou huffed. “If you are a tough career woman, who forgot about the true meaning of Christmas. In our case, it just sucks.”

Again, it was hard to read Yutaka’s expression. He seemed somewhat offended. Shou realized that maybe, he shouldn’t have been that dismissive of the romance aspect of their situation, if he actually wanted Yutaka to like him. It might seem as if he was turning him down.

To soften his reaction, he looked at his phone.

“It’s past 10 pm already after all”, he added. “I really don’t want to hang out here any longer.”

This time, he left it open on purpose, where he wanted to be instead.

“10 pm already?”, Yutaka repeated, suddenly sounding alarmed. He checked his own mobile. “Fuck”, he swore.

“What is it?”, Shou asked. “Got somewhere else to be?” He had meant to sound teasing, but he felt very cold as soon as the words were out.

Yutaka was dressed very nicely. And it was Christmas after all. Shou hadn’t considered it yet, but it wasn’t impossible, that Yutaka actually had a date.

“Well, yeah”, Yutaka admitted. He avoided Shou’s eyes, which didn’t fit in with his usual provoking attitude. He seemed embarrassed. “You remember that new barbecue place that opened close to my apartment? The fancy looking one with the meat specials.”

Shou nodded. He had eyed the menu longingly on their last walk. Shou loved meat.

“I made a reservation at 10:30 pm. If they don’t let us out in time, they’ll surely give away the table.”

“Hm.” Shou tried to create a neutral sound to cover up how hurt he felt.

Of course, they hadn’t agreed on anything definite. It wasn’t as if they were in a relationship, just because they had made out quite a lot during the past weeks. Yutaka had every right to see other people. The fact that he had chosen a restaurant, of which he knew it was a place Shou would have liked to go, made Shou feel betrayed nonetheless.

He hadn’t expected his chest to hurt like this. He was interested in Yutaka, but he hadn’t gotten his hopes up. He had no right to throw a tantrum now.

“So, a Christmas date?”, he assured as offhanded as possible. His voice came out flatly.

Yutaka shrugged. He seemed as uncomfortable as Shou.

“Yes. I mean, I guess”, he admitted.

“Is it serious?”, Shou wanted to know.

He wondered where Yutaka had met someone anyway, when their social contacts were currently so limited.

“Ah.” Yutaka exhaled. It was more than obvious he felt troubled by Shou’s inquiries. Maybe he did feel guilty after all. “I’d say so”, he confessed. “We’ve been dating for several weeks now. And, I mean, it’s Christmas.”

Shou inhaled a little too sharply and turned his face. Several weeks? Several weeks?! So, Yutaka had been seeing someone else the whole time while sneaking around with Shou, exchanging kisses and talking to him on the phone until late at night?

Shou hadn’t assumed they were dating of course. He wasn’t that delusional. He had known all along that for a guy like Yutaka he could be hardly more than a pastime.

He hadn’t thought that Yutaka would have the audacity to go behind someone’s back that openly, though. Even if he had assumed that Shou knew what he had signed up for, it didn’t seem fair to his partner – Shou pictured her as a cute, lively girl, who had no idea that the guy she was dating also got it on with his bandmate occasionally. In his mind, he named her Mariko.

Shou had known that Yutaka was carefree, but he hadn’t thought he would toy with people like this.

“Is that a problem for you?”, Yutaka asked.

Shou shrugged. He didn’t want Yutaka to think that he was pathetic. If Yutaka didn’t care for their arrangement, Shou shouldn’t care either.

“It’s fine”, he said. “If that’s what you want.”

“It is”, Yutaka confirmed.

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence.

Shou realized they would probably have to wait around quite some time. It felt awkward to just stand in the corridor like this.

“Want to …?”, Yutaka started and pointed back to the concert hall.

“Yes, definitely”, Shou confirmed, relieved that Yutaka had taken the decision away from him.

He followed Yutaka back into the venue.

They could have returned to the dressing room as well, sitting down on the chairs there. But Shou was glad Yutaka chose the live room instead. He himself felt drawn back to the stage as well, as if the familiar space could provide him with some sort of comfort.

“It’s smaller without the people, isn’t it?”, he observed, looking around.

Yutaka had switched on the lights overhead, that remained turned off during the live. The spotlights stayed dark, though.

Yutaka climbed onto the stage and looked down onto the audience room.

“You’d expect it to be the other way around, wouldn’t you?”, Shou carried on, not sure if he really expected an answer from Yutaka at all. “That it seems larger when it’s empty. But it’s smaller somehow.”

“It is”, Yutaka confirmed. “Though I think it feels the largest when there are only about five people in the audience. It makes the empty space seem worse for some reason.”

Shou laughed.

He remembered their first gigs at clubs and how deserted the floor had seemed with only a few people listening. Now he could laugh at the memory, but back then, the sight had troubled him immensely.

“Seeing only the cameramen now gives me flashbacks”, Yutaka went on. He didn’t seem quite sure if he was really talking to Shou either. It felt nice, though. It was nice to be allowed to just think out loud with someone.

“For me it’s different”, Shou said and took the stairs up to the stage as well. “I keep imagining everyone at home in front of their screens.”

“You’ve always been more imaginative than me”, Yutaka said. Both of them were looking out onto the empty room. “I can only see what’s right in front of my eyes.”

Shou turned to look at Yutaka.

“Sometimes that’s enough”, he said quietly.

He wished Yutaka could see what was right in front of him right now as well. That he would realize that he didn’t have to rush out to a Christmas date to maybe find love, but that Shou was right here with him and that he might just be enough. Shou had been his friend for so long, and after all those years, he finally felt ready to love him, too. Maybe he wasn’t a fantasy, but he was right here.

Yutaka stretched his arms in front of himself like he sometimes did to loosen the tension from his shoulders after a live. Shou thought that it was nice, that he knew those little habits and understood what they meant.

Yutaka sat down on the pedestal at the centre of the stage. Shou couldn’t help thinking that he indeed looked very handsome tonight. He averted his eyes. When he stared at Yutaka for too long, he wanted to kiss him. Since they had started kissing each other, it had become a lot harder not to think of it constantly in his presence.

“I wish there was something to do to keep us busy”, Shou observed.

He had meant it to come out sharply to remind Yutaka that his company alone was not enough to entertain Shou and that in no way he had romantic feelings for him nor cared with whom he went out for Christmas.

“Yeah, there is only you and me here”, Yutaka said. He dragged out the words in a manner, that was clearly suggestive. “I wonder what kind of activities that leaves us with.”

Shou looked at Yutaka slightly astonished.

Did he really have the nerves to suggest getting physical with Shou, while planning to go on a date with someone else within the same hour? At first, Shou wanted to react offended, but he couldn’t help feeling a little gleeful at the thought as well. He pictured Yutaka sitting at that fancy restaurant with Mariko, his lips still slightly swollen from kissing Shou. It would be something that she couldn’t take away from him, a mark to ensure that Yutaka still thought of Shou even if it was on a date with someone else.

And Shou thought, that just maybe, they wouldn’t be let out of the venue for another hour. That Yutaka had been right and this was the plot of a romantic movie. Maybe being locked in with Shou was the Christmas miracle that was supposed to show Yutaka whom he really wanted to spend Christmas with. This might be Shou’s chance to make Yutaka see what was right in front of him.

“I would have a suggestion”, he announced and walked towards Yutaka.

Yutaka shuffled back on the pedestal, allowing Shou to put his knees on its surface to straddle Yutaka’s lap. He made sure not to put his full weight on Yutaka, though. Yutaka had to look up to him this way.

“Have you ever fantasized about making out on stage?”, Yutaka asked cheekily.

Shou snorted and shook his head. He reached up to push a lock of hair from Yutaka’s forehead.

“Of course not, pervert”, he said.

“It’s hot somehow”, Yutaka said and grinned up to him. “Just picture everyone watching us.”

Shou’s stomach took a small leap and he wasn’t sure, if it was because of Yutaka’s words or because of how low and hoarse his voice sounded right now.

He put his hand on the small of Shou’s back, pulling him closer.

Shou lowered his head, finally allowing their lips to meet. Yutaka returned the kiss immediately. His lips were warm and soft. Shou was crazy about kissing him.

He assumed that it was just part of his personality. Shou was the kind of person, who listened to the same song for days straight after discovering it. If he found a dish he liked, he ate it at least four times a week until he was absolutely sick of it. It always took him some time to find a healthy measure to enjoy the things he liked. Currently, he was obsessed with Yutaka’s lips. His desire for them would surely sink to a reasonable level over time, but right now, Shou just wanted to kiss him for hours every time they met, like a song stuck on repeat.

Yutaka’s hands slid down his body now, both of them coming to rest on Shou’s butt. He squeezed him playfully and Shou sighed into their kiss. His lips were starting to tingle like your hands in winter when you finally entered a warm room. They felt numb and very alive both at once.

His hands were resting on Yutaka’s shoulders. He could sense the heat of his body against his palms.

It seemed surreal that they were actually kissing this greedily with Yutaka about to head out to another date. It was as if neither of them had any sense of shame. Shou enjoyed the sensation too much to seriously bother right now, though.

He slid his hands down a bit further, so his palms were resting against Yutaka’s chest. His thumb was brushing against Yutaka’s neck right above the collar of his shirt and the sensation sent a warm shudder down Shou’s spine. Even the slightest touch with Yutaka’s skin made him feel electricized.

He wished he could just take off Yutaka’s shirt completely. He wanted to tumble down on top of him, their naked bodies pressed against each other. Yutaka’s hands were still on his butt.

For a brief moment, Shou wondered, if Yutaka would cancel his date, if Shou offered him to go all the way tonight. But then, he’d feel miserable, asking Yutaka to fuck him only to not loose against Mariko. It wasn’t that he didn’t desire Yutaka. But he didn’t want to rush things just to take part in a competition he couldn’t win anyway. If Yutaka had wanted to be with him tonight, he wouldn’t have set up another date.

Still, Shou couldn’t keep himself from hoping anyway.

He kissed his way from the corner of Yutaka’s mouth across his cheek until he reached his ear.

“We could continue this at my place”, he whispered. “They probably won’t let us out in time anyway. Let’s go home right away. Skip the date.”

He managed to keep his voice from sounding like he was begging, although he was. Luckily, he sounded hoarse enough to cover the despair in his tone. He was scared to death that Yutaka would decline.

“It’s bothering you”, Yutaka observed, his voice irritatingly clear.

Shou had hoped that in the worst case, Yutaka would brush off the suggestion with a quiet laugh and pretend that Shou had been joking. But instead, Yutaka reached up to push Shou away from himself to meet his eyes.

“The date”, he clarified.

Shou looked away, but sitting on Yutaka’s lap, there wasn’t much else to look at but his face.

“A little”, he admitted. “But it’s fine.”

“If it’s bothering you, I’ll cancel the reservation”, Yutaka offered.

Shou looked up in surprise. He hadn’t expected Yutaka to take it this far.

“Really?”, he assured in disbelieve.

Yutaka shrugged. He didn’t look exactly happy.

“You are my friend, Shou”, he said seriously. “And even more importantly, you are my bandmate. I don’t want to risk what we have. So, most of all, I want you to be comfortable.”

Shou bit his lip. It did feel sore. He had kissed Yutaka for several minutes without interruption.

He wanted to be happy, that Yutaka was willing to put Shou’s wellbeing above anything else. But it only made him feel guilty. Yutaka was scared of breaking up the band. Shou didn’t want to feel like he was blackmailing Yutaka – dating Mariko or his career.

“It’s alright”, he said weakly.

“Are you sure?”, Yutaka wanted to know.

Shou nodded seriously, although it was almost killing him. He wanted Yutaka to be happy. Even if that meant spending Christmas on his own, and every other day to come.

“Okay”, Yutaka said quietly and leaned in to kiss Shou again.

Shou turned his head to avoid his lips.

“I think it’s better if we stop here”, he said flatly and awkwardly climbed off Yutaka’s lap.

He wanted to keep kissing him, he wanted to do so badly. But if Yutaka really liked Mariko, he should give it an honest try with her. If Shou was already giving up on him, Yutaka should be serious about this. He shouldn’t kiss Shou behind her back.

Shou walked up and down the stage to calm himself. He always started pacing when he was stressed.

Yutaka had gotten up as well as if he considered going after Shou, but then he just remained standing in place. He did seem awkward, as if he couldn’t remember why he had gotten up in the first place.

For a moment, both of them were silent.

“Did I ruin it?”, Yutaka finally asked. “This thing between us?”

Shou looked up. They were standing apart now, but he could hear how sad Yutaka sounded.

“I don’t know”, Shou said and lowered his gaze again.

He had assumed that Yutaka was the one, who wanted to break it off. When he was seeing other people – seriously seeing them, for weeks and taking them on Christmas dates – then there wasn’t much of a thing to ruin in the first place.

“Shou”, Yutaka said. He sounded pleading. “I don’t know what to do, when you close down on me like that. You need to talk to me, so I can do the right thing. Please, just tell me how you feel.”

Shou licked his lips. They still felt weird, as if they weren’t really part of his body. It felt as if they belonged to Yutaka as much as to himself.

“Okay, so”, he started. Yutaka was right. Shou couldn’t expect him to guess at his feelings. He had to be honest, even if he didn’t like it. “I didn’t think we were dating.”

“I figured”, Yutaka confirmed dryly.

Shou shook his head, annoyed that Yutaka had interrupted him, although it was him, who had paused midsentence.

“I just want to clarify, that I understand that”, Shou picked up again. “I know I have no right to be mad at you, since we didn’t agree on anything. I knew from the beginning, that someone like me wouldn’t be able to hold someone like you. But I think we got along well and I thought, I don’t know, I thought you respected me.”

He paused again.

“You lost me”, Yutaka said. “Of course, I respect you.”

“I’m just saying that it hurts to know you’ve been seeing someone else this whole time we’ve been together. It’s not like I was expecting us to go on a Christmas date or anything. But I think kissing me to kill time while we are waiting for someone to unlock the door and then going off on a date with someone else is not fair to me nor to your date.”

Shou inhaled deeply, glad that the words were out now. He felt like he hadn’t done so badly. Of course, he had secretly hoped for a Christmas date, but Yutaka didn’t need to know that. Shou thought he had brought across his point, though, making it sound like it was more about the general immaturity of Yutaka’s behaviour than about his hurt feelings.

Yutaka stared at him blankly.

“Wait”, he said. “Hold on.”

Shou waited. Yutaka seemed to need a moment to sort out his thoughts.

“So, you are mad at me for two-timing?”, he then assured.

Shou crossed the arms in front of his chest defensively.

“Well, I don’t know what you’ve told the other person, but if you’re seriously dating them, you’ve technically been cheating”, he pointed out.

Yutaka took a step towards him. He was trying to hide a smirk, but he did so poorly. Shou could tell that he was enjoying himself. He seemed to be happy that Shou was so openly jealous now, even if he tried to act outraged on Mariko’s behalf. Yutaka being this smug pissed Shou off even more. He seemingly cared for neither of them. Mariko and Shou both deserved better.

“Oh yes, the dating has been quite serious”, Yutaka confirmed. He sounded mocking, although Shou didn’t understand what was supposed to be funny about that. “In fact, I would already call it a relationship. So, yeah, I have a boyfriend. And I was meaning to take him out on a Christmas date tonight after our show.”

“A boyfriend”, Shou repeated numbly.

Somehow, that was worse than a girlfriend. A cute girl with whom you could be seen in public was something Shou could get behind. But another man made the rejection even more painful. It made Shou wonder, why he wasn’t good enough to take his place.

“Yeah”, Yutaka said and took another step towards Shou. He was pretty close again by now. Another step and he would be close enough for kissing again. But even Yutaka wouldn’t have that kind of nerve after what he had just told Shou. “I’m pretty crazy about him. Although, honestly, sometimes I think he is the dumbest person alive.”

“What?”, Shou asked.

Somehow, that was not what he had expected. Yutaka wouldn’t talk that badly about his boyfriend, would he? He usually only took that teasingly insulting tone with Shou.

“God, you are so slow”, Yutaka said. He sounded affectionate. Shou felt like he was missing out on something important right now.

Yutaka took another step forward and reached up to touch Shou’s cheek. Shou wanted to back off, but he felt so confused, he just stood frozen in place.

“This whole time, I was talking about …”

“Kiriyuuin Shou? Kyan Yutaka? Are you in here?”, someone shouted.

Shou took a step backwards instinctively. He didn’t want to get caught with Yutaka in a suggestive position like this. They didn’t need rumours to spread.

“We’re here”, he called out and a man stepped into the live room. Shou had seen him around earlier, although he didn’t belong to their staff as far as he recalled. Probably the owner of the venue coming to rescue them.

“Sorry for locking you in”, the man said. “The door is open now.”

He turned around again, making it more than obvious that he had no intention of waiting for them much longer. They had called him back on his way home already after all.

Yutaka turned to go after him.

Shou remained standing on stage. His brain was still trying to puzzle together the missing pieces of information. What had Yutaka been talking about? What had he wanted to tell Shou?

Yutaka looked over his shoulder to check on him.

When he found him still standing in place, he rolled his eyes and walked back towards him.

“Come on now, hurry. Don’t just stand there!”

Without warning he took hold of Shou’s hand to drag him along. Shou started walking and only when it became clear that Yutaka had no intention of letting go of his hand, did he realize that they wouldn’t have needed a Christmas miracle after all.

“The two of us have a dinner reservation to catch, dumbass.”

[hydradrive]

Go Hellnalysis (aka : hydradrive gets mad at the fanbase for ignoring go’s ongoing 2 season long breakdown for like, 5+ paragraphs)

We are talking S1 foreshadowing as it relates to the facts of S2. As already mentioned, I think it sucks of the writers to do it to him like how it sucks how they treated Emma and Aoi throughout the entire series and reeks of colorism like. having your two darkest skinned characters be actively antagonistic as s2 goes on is a bad fucking look. 

But it’s there, and I am not happy that people defend Lightning weirdly when he treats people he knew for years badly, and then turn around and say wildly fucked up shit about Go.

I guess today is the day i Get Into It Again. I’ll be rehashing some of my points from my old thread on nac, so strap in i guess.

This is said to Playmaker in season two. 

‘After i lost to you’. 

So, by episode 4. And the text backs this up. The text in season one aligns.

In Go Onizuka VS Genome :

[ transcript for subbed text: 

Dr. Genome : Did your defeat at Playmaker’s hands force you to evolver? 

Go Onizuka : As much as I hate to admit it, yes. That was when everything changed. 

/end text screenshot id ]

That was when everything changed.

Let’s look at the rest of it, then. How it affected him, in the long-term. The Go Analysis... Is here.

MASSIVE CWs for discussion of canonical weight loss, brief discussion of disordered eating in the context of that, and a whole bunch of other stuff re: the brain hack that I don’t even know how to tag, really. medical? Basically, if you have any triggers relating to that, please exercise due diligence because I will not pull any punches about the implications.

tldr version :

This is real dialogue from Go Onizuka’s first (and only) duel against Revolver. 

No matter what he says trying to spin it a different way after this segment of text, that it’s about fighting for yourself, these statements exist, and they exist with the context given by his own words; that he was struggling, mental health-wise, when he said these words.

[ transcript for subbed text: 

Go Onizuka : Until now, I’ve battled in front of huge crowds. (There is a single beat frame, to indicate silence.) But I realized I’m all alone. There are no fans rooting for me here. I realized... We always duel alone. We fight for ourselves, not for anyone else. 

/end text screenshot id ]

But perhaps this isn’t compelling enough for people. Fine. Let’s go even further back.

[ transcript for subbed text for screen readers : Go Onizuka : It’s my fault that Makoto is in this condition. /end text screenshot id ]

Go has an easily seen habit of assuming the worst, and with regards to stuff like Makoto, blaming himself, to the point that if his manager hadn't said more on Makoto, he would've been going into VS Genome blaming himself for Makoto getting into duel monsters in the first place.

In episode 5 it was shown that with one loss he was entirely certain that nobody would care about him in any capacity:

But why?

... It’s brought up in one of the first episodes of the entire series.

[ transcript for subbed text for screen readers : 

Go Onizuka’s Manager : That’s exactly it. It’s a winner-take-all world, after all. 

/end text id. ]

And given an even more... depressing? Spin later, when Go thinks about it throughout S1 and S2 during his duel with Takeru:

[ transcript for screen readers : 

Before I was placed in the orphanage, I only relied on myself. The world I lived in was all about survival of the fittest. “You must protect yourself” was my credo. 

/ end text screenshot id ]

It’s genuinely that simple. He slipped back into his old way of surviving because the way he did in season one didn't. save him. it didn't save him from a duel he needed to win, not just for himself necessarily. he would have died if playmaker had lost. a lot of people would have. He was already starting to have these doubts about his entire reason d’etre for dueling, and his loss only further spurred it on.

It’s repeated, again and again:

[ transcript for screen readers :

Go Onizuka : For everyone to appreciate me, I must win! 

/end text screenshot id ]

That sentiment. “People won’t like me if I lose.” “People will abandon me, if I lose.” In his own words, his losses, losses in duels that were important, rotted him. And it /is/ true. His manager said he’d leave if he went to try and stop the Tower Of Hanoi and lost. And he followed through with it, by all implications. He didn’t come back until season 3. Keeping in mind that Go’s self-hatred spiral regarding guilt over in his mind dragging Makoto into the mess that was season one-era Hanoi shenanigans was only cut off because his manager and other people talked him out of it... Yeah.

This is before we bring in the other complicating factor : a certain little company, who never did anything good for anyone. A man, who despite supposedly being well-intentioned, did very little to help, until it reached the darkest point.

[ transcript for subbed text for screen readers, since that’s the primary important stuff : 

Akira Zaizen : But we don’t intend to acknowledge that the network was on the brink of destruction. So I ask you don’t cause the press to delve into this. 

/end text screencap id]

People focus so much on him yelling at the press because they keep asking about Playmaker but with this context?

[ transcript text for screen readers: 

Akira Zaizen: You’ll continue to be the focus of the press. /end text screenshot id ]

He’s not allowed to talk about how you nearly died.

He’s not allowed to talk about what really was at stake.

In fact, he’s not allowed to even act in a way that makes people even a little suspicious about what happened.

And yet.

‘But he could just ignore this advice’ . Not really. Go Onizuka’s platform was built in Link Vrains. Being the whistleblower about the actual danger of Link Vrains would not endear him to Sol, and potential backlash from Sol, from everything we know about the company? Hmm, gosh, wonder why that might be bad. Almost as if Go is basically a livestreamer who is at risk of having the video platform he exists on die.

It would be incredibly difficult to continue working under the public eye like that. The stress from that alone would start tearing someone to pieces.

Ergo, his decision to work for Sol Technologies as a bounty hunter. Both jobs now hinge on him currying favor with a horrible megacorporation, one just has less baggage from his past way of surviving and gives him the ability to talk a tiny bit more freely about things.

This is all the leadup, of course, to the ultimate lowest point. The duel chip. Brain hack.

[ transcript text for screen readers: ‘By implanting this duel chip, the brain’s thought capabilities expand.’ /end text screenshot id ]

[ transcript text for screen readers: 

Akira Zaizen: You can always refuse.

Go Onizuka : Your methods are dirty. You guide me to the gates of hell, but you don’t care what happens afterwards.  /end text screenshot id ] 

Let’s talk about the physical side-effects of the brain chip on Go Onizuka.

Me, personally? I genuinely wonder what came first; the most severe physical side-effects or a worsening of Go’s mental health that made him stop eating. 

It’s never stated what came first. We only see the mental health side effects of the chip in flashbacks initially.

I looked at one of the instances where Akira pulled go out of the sim wrt: the listed sys/dia ratios on-screen. They have those in certain shots, btw! They’re consistently really fucked up!

Here’s what those were, in one very notable instance:

... So, right off the bat, a heartrate of 195, huh.

And a sys/dia of 187/112 with a mean of 136. Wow! I wonder what that means for him!

I can tell you. 

He statistically would be in the range of having a hypertensive emergency. Having rates like this can damage your heart muscle when you don’t literally have a heart attack, hypertensive encephalopathy, ( which can cause dizziness and altered levels of consciousness, if we are getting into it.), kidney failure, coughing up blood...

I don’t want to speculate too much about why the Duel Chip caused this, but I will note that blood pressures like this sometimes come about as result of issues with the neuroendocrine system. This would tie in with a loss of appetite and some of the other things Go seems to canonically have had from the getgo of having the chip installed, and probably added on to his already pre-existing mental health stuff which I personally parsed as depression.

... I think this mostly covers the main points of what gets missed. Aka, literally all of his arc. Just, literally every piece of his arc. People miss all of it.

Also, to reiterate : it is NOT GOOD the way this is framed by the writers. it is loaded to, in a series heavily informed by the main character’s trauma, have a teenaged darker skin character ( Go is 19!! ) be portrayed as more erratic, etc etc. I do Not care about Lightning. He is a little robot, and while there is probably some ableism in the way trauma is represented therein as a corrupting force, it is far more worrying how Go is treated in terms of representation, and I am not going to bat for the guy who treated Haru like dogshit lmao. 

The fact that one of the two darker skinned MOC is given more obvious mental/physical illness signifiers in terms of symptoms to mark them as antagonists (when, again, Yusaku literally CANONICALLY HAS PTSD) fucking blows, and I’m going to personally fight the writers. 

But. I am also laying the blame at the fanbase’s feet for this shit, too. They literally ignored this to coo over Lightning. I’m going to bite them.

[v-thinks-on]

Jeeves Gets Sick - Part 1

Next I would be the first to tell you that I’m far from the most chipper fellow in the mornings. It usually takes quite a bit of groaning and blinking to get myself upright at all, and I’m not fit for company until I’ve had my morning restorative in the form of a steaming cup of oolong.

I struggled one eye open, and then the other, and pushed myself in a bit of an upward direction. I had just started to have the presence of mind to begin to fancy a spot of tea, when to my distinct surprise, it did not appear. You may be thinking right now that this is a bit thick, that this Wooster fellow expects, just because he’s thinking of tea, for a cup of the stuff to miraculously appear in hand. But all I can say to that is that you have never employed a man like Jeeves. It’s like a sort of telepathy; as soon as I’m up and conscious enough to be thinking of tea, lo! It appears, and such has been the case since day one of his employment. How I’ll ever manage without the man is beyond me.

Given all that, you can imagine that I was rather put off by the non-appearance of the tea upon that particular m. I was just starting to wonder if I should give it all up as a bad job, go back to sleep, and try again later, or if perhaps my dinner the night before hadn’t been a touch too rich and was giving me strange dreams, when the tea did, at long last, make an appearance. It appeared in a sort of rummy way, however. The tea was there, of course, and Jeeves was there carrying it in, just as usual, but rummy, like the sort of dream where everything is normal, except you’ve forgotten you had a Latin exam the next day and when you go in to take it, it’s all in Greek.

Perhaps I’d do best to illustrate the rumminess of it all with some specifics. Jeeves, as you know, is a silent sort, I don’t mean in speech, though sometimes he can be so taciturn you forget he’s there, but I mean in movement. One moment he’s there, the next he’s not, or vice-versa, and you never hear the coming or going. But on that morning, I could have sworn I heard his footsteps whispering against the carpet as he approached. Or, for another demonstrative example, take Jeeves’s expression; he can give the best stuffed frog impression of the lot, I’m sure he’s won prizes for it at contests, but even when he isn’t wearing the mask, so to speak, there’s always a certain nonchalance to his bearing. I don’t think I’d ever seen a feverish spark dancing in his inky blacks, or seen him glassy-eyed like a fellow after a sleepless night.

I know it wasn’t much to go off of. In all other ways, Jeeves was impeccable as always, with his “Good morning, sir,” and “I hope you slept well, sir.” There was hardly a thing out of place, but between the late appearance and the aforementioned symptoms, I thought I had something of a case.

I was so badly startled by the whole upset to the usual routine that I was mostly coherent even before I’d had my first sip of the oolong. Still, I broached the matter cautiously as I took the cup from his tray, “Jeeves, are you quite all right. You seem a little out of sorts, what?”

“Sir?” Jeeves asked stiffly, with a bit of the air of an offended cat.

“A little peaky, I mean,” I attempted to clarify, “Like you’ve come down with something.”

“Is there something not to your liking, sir?” Jeeves said, as though he’d only heard every other word.

“Not exactly, I just-”

“Will that be all, sir?”

I sipped my tea, defeated. “Right ho, Jeeves.”

“Very good, sir.”

With that, he left the room. I could have sworn I heard him go.

I was not to be so easily contented. I ruminated as I readied for the day. You must understand that in all the years I’d known Jeeves, I had never seen the man so much as falter. He’s something of a paragon, if that’s the word I’m looking for; where other men fail, he invariably prevails. He gives an invulnerable sort of impression, as though nothing could ever knock him down. And yet, here he was, late, unsteady, and feverish. The signs were subtle, but I couldn’t deny their presence.

I didn’t like it. It was awfully feudal of Jeeves to keep a stiff upper lip and soldier on through rain or high seas and what not - or whatever the expression is exactly - but for all that I depend on the chap, I could last a day without his services. It wouldn’t be easy, but I could manage it, and for a cause as good as his speedy recovery from whatever it was that ailed him I would do it with pride. But the thought of Jeeves struck ill by some unknown pestilence shook me to the core. I can hardly begin to say how much I value the man and the thought of him wasting away was more than I could bally well take.

I strode out to give him a piece of my mind over breakfast. But where breakfast ought have been, there was nothing in its place.

I made like the cat in the adage, letting I dare not wait upon I would, as Jeeves would say, for but a moment before barging into the kitchen. There, I found Jeeves, a mere shadow of his usually impressive self. He was sitting down on the job before breakfast was out on the table, and he faltered in getting to his feet as I entered his lair. His eyes were undeniably bright with fever and his brow damp with sweat, a few hairs curled out of place. To be seen in such a state, the man was clearly on his deathbed.

“Sir?” he began.

I silenced him with a wave and cut him off besides. This was more than just one of those arguments that inevitably occur with two stubborn chaps living in close proximity; Jeeves’s very life was on the line and I daren’t falter.

“Not a word, Jeeves. You are plainly ill. Even a fool could see it, and I know you are no fool. Even I can see it.” My voice took on something of a pleading note all on its own accord.

“Sir,” he attempted to protest, but even his words came out weak.

“Dash it all, Jeeves!” I exclaimed, startled by my own vehemence. “I won’t have you working in such a state. Call for a doctor!”

He straightened his posture and seemed to strain against the fever. “That’s very kind of you, sir, but hardly necessary.”

I refused to hear a word against it. “Not another word, Jeeves! I’m going to get a doctor and I expect you to go straight to bed and rest until you’re back to your implacable self.”

“Sir, there is no need to call for a doctor; it’s nothing that a little rest won’t cure.” It pained me to see his resistance failing even as I chipped away at it.

Jeeves’s word is usually taken as law, but this was too serious a thing to trust to his stubborn insistence. “No, Jeeves, rest. I’ll be back with a doctor before you know it.”

Jeeves let out the barest suggestion of a sigh. His breathing seemed laboured. “If you must, sir, then permit me to recommend my family physician. I have his London address.”

I stared at the address Jeeves provided. “Are you sure? I could certainly find you a better man on Harley street.”

“He has my absolute trust, sir. I would see no other.” There was something steely in his manner, even glassy-eyed as he was, that made it clear he would make no further concessions, and I didn’t have time to argue. The man has an iron will when challenged and that I had managed to push him so far as I had was evidence of how far he’d fallen.

“Very good, Jeeves. And you’ll rest while I’m gone? None of this working rot?”

“Yes, sir.” He almost sounded relieved, which only confirmed my darkest fears.

He saw me to the door despite my instance to the contrary. I could see his mask cracking all the while. His air of exhaustion would not have looked out of place on me the morning after a night of revelry, but on Jeeves, it looked horribly wrong. I had half a mind to carry the man to bed myself just to be sure he kept his word, but then I doubtless would have had a revolt on my hands, and so I contented myself with finding him a doctor.

The place was easy enough to find. A shiny new plaque by the door boasted the residence of “Dr. John Watson, M.D.” With a name like that, a fellow can only think of Sherlock Holmes’s pal, but there must be countless men with the name John Watson in the metrop., certainly plenty of them doctors, and all tired of being asked how Sherlock Holmes is doing. For my part, I didn’t very well care if the man was the prince of Persia or a patch-coated street kid like one of the Baker Street Irregulars as long as he had the stuff for Jeeves.

I gave the door a pounding that could have been considered frantic, and a maid soon swung it open and ushered me into a parlour. I believe I managed to impress upon her the urgency of my visit, because it wasn’t long before a doctorly fellow came down to see me. He was a broad-built mustachioed sort, regarding me with the utmost seriousness.

I have been quelled by lesser gazes than his, but I had my mission and didn’t even let him get so far as bidding me a terse good morning before I exclaimed, “It’s Jeeves! He’s ill!”

A glint of recognition struck the fellow’s eyes. “Reginald Jeeves?”

“That’s the one! He said you were his family doctor.”

The doctor smiled a little at that, but quickly turned serious. “Then I expect we have not a moment to waste.”

We hurried back to the flat as fast as feet could fly and wheels could spin.

On the way, Dr. Watson asked, “Am I correct in presuming that you must be Mr. Wooster?”

“Right-o!” I exclaimed. “I mean to say, yes, I’m him.”

The doctor nodded as though everything was just as he expected. “I doubt Jeeves would have sent you to me unless it was something serious.”

I twiddled my fingers a little, suddenly realizing something awkward about my position. “It wasn’t Jeeves who asked for you - well, he said he wouldn’t see anyone else - but I was the one who insisted. You see, he was all out of sorts this morning!”

“What were his symptoms?” Dr. Watson asked, his manner suddenly businesslike.

“Well, to start with, he was late with the tea in the morning, and then I swear I could actually hear him walking around, when, well, you know how he usually appears and disappears here and there. And then when it came time for breakfast, I found him sitting in the kitchen before anything was out on the table, and his eyes looked absolutely feverish!”

I’m afraid I made a muddle of the telling of it, but Dr. Watson nodded along as though it was all clear to him.

It felt like ages, but finally we arrived back at the flat. The place was silent and to all appearances empty. I half expected to find Jeeves collapsed on the floor, overcome by a sudden spell of weakness, but I bravely led the doctor on, through Jeeves’s lair, into his quarters. And there the man was, lying obediently in bed, though I noted with some displeasure that he was already sitting upright when we arrived. Jeeves made to struggle to his feet, but I waved him down with the firmest look I could muster.

So he contented himself with a quiet, “Sir,” and “Dr. Watson,” each accompanied by a respectful nod.

Generally, as you would expect, I spend very little time in my man’s quarters. Therefore, I was a little surprised by the cramped spareness of it all. The fellow constantly rescuing me from all manners of soup deserved rather better than what could have passed for a closet furnished with a cot, some drawers, and some shelves laden with all manner of tomes. But alas that was a problem for another day. For the time being, the three of us crammed in to the best of our ability; Jeeves in bed, of course, Dr. Watson on a chair brought in from the kitchen positioned at the bedside, and I hovering at the foot of the bed by the drawers.

“My apologies Dr. Watson, I am afraid there has been something of a miscommunication,” Jeeves said, somehow projecting the very image of a valet, even though he was abed in his brown dressing gown, looking only a little less feverish than when I left him. “Mr. Wooster’s gentlemanly spirit demanded that my recovery be overseen by a doctor, however I assure you that my condition is not at all serious and I find it to be much improved even after a brief respite.”

“Dr. Watson will be the judge of that!” I insisted, drawing myself up to a considerable height - with Jeeves incapacitated, I was by far the tallest chap in the room.

The doctor glanced between Jeeves and myself, no doubt weighing our words, though the only expression I saw cross his features was the suggestion of a smile. “Yes, thank you, Mr. Wooster. May I have a moment alone with my patient?”

“Oh, certainly! I’ll biff off then, toodle-pip!” I hastily ducked out of the room with a final glance at a less than pleased Jeeves, and settled myself in the sitting room for the long haul.

I lit a gasper to ease my rattled nerves and let the soothing aroma wash over me. You may be asking why I would prefer a gasper when I have Italian and Turkish cigarettes close at hand, and to that I can only point to the fact that Jeeves always smokes gaspers, and so I find them to have a similar reassuring effect when the man himself is absent, though certainly nothing equal to the real article.

I confess, I was rather far gone. I kept glancing back at the door to the kitchen, expecting Dr. Watson to emerge at any moment with news that I could only imagine inevitably got worse with every passing second. I felt rather like those Greek chappies; like Damon wasting away in his cell waiting for his pal Pythias - or rather Pythias racing back to wherever it was, absolutely frantic about Damon wasting away in that cell of his, only hoping he wasn’t too late. Not that I had any illusion that Jeeves saw his mentally negligible young master as anything even approaching his Damon or Pythias.

It was difficult not to envision Jeeves like one of those damsels in the pictures, slowly and inevitably wasting away in the sickbed as her family cried around her. I thought I heard a distant cough coming from the other room; the first innocuous symptom before consumption set in. I was just beginning to compose a fitting eulogy for such a great man with a few tears in my eyes when at long last I heard a door swing open and shut, and a steady gait that could only belong to Dr. Watson approached through the kitchen.

I jumped up to greet him, almost as fast as Jeeves when I interrupt him when he’s reading. “Is he…?”

The doctor smiled. “Don’t worry, Jeeves will be all right. He merely has a fever.”

“It’s not consumption?”

“No,” Dr. Watson said gently.

“Right-o!” I exclaimed, significantly braced.

“He should recover completely in a day or two, but I’ve given him an order to rest until then.”

“That’ll be just the thing!”

I hastily bade Dr. Watson take a seat and offered him a drink to toast to Jeeves’s health and what not and the kindly doctor obliged.

I downed my glass perhaps a bit too quickly, but a bracing drink really was the thing to take the edge off of my lingering fears and the jitters of relief.

Just as the need for further conversation began to make itself known - I had some mind to bring it around to Jeeves - the doctor remarked, “Has Jeeves been working himself particularly hard of late?”

“I haven’t been giving him any more work than usual,” I said with some righteous indignation. This chap may have been a friend of Jeeves, but that didn’t give him licence to critique how I ran my household.

“No, I would think not,” Dr. Watson said with just a touch of exasperation. “It is only that I have often had the occasion to observe that when a gentleman is particularly intelligent, he may have difficulty recognizing his own limits and the limits of others.”

“And overwork himself, you mean?” I asked, a bit taken aback.

“Yes.”

“I don’t think Jeeves ever does that. He’s as hardworking a chap as any, of course, but I don’t think he’d over do it.” I hesitated. “Really, he always seems so infallible, like nothing’s too much for him to handle. I don’t think I’ve ever known him to get ill.”

Dr. Watson nodded sagely. “Jeeves has done his best to appear infallible for as long as I’ve known him.”

“You knew him growing up, what?”

“No, Jeeves was a young man by the time I made his acquaintance.”

“Jeeves’s cousin Bunny said he was always particularly intelligent.”

“Yes, he was a very personable young man, but always at something of a distance.” After a moment’s pause, Dr. Watson forced himself to his feet. “I should get on with my rounds, but it was a pleasure to meet you at last, Mr. Wooster. Jeeves is fortunate to have a friend such as yourself.”

“I say!” I exclaimed, jumping to my feet after him. “You mean it?” I’m usually not met with enthusiastic approval so much as weary disdain by the older element.

“Certainly. Jeeves was a friendless young man, but he seems to have taken a liking to you.”

I may have flushed at his words even as I protested, “What about his cousins? Bunny told me about the games they used to play. I’m just the hapless young master.”

To my surprise, the doctor frowned. “I wouldn’t call them friendly.”

I wanted to protest in Bunny’s defense - he’s not only a cousin of Jeeves’s, but a pal of mine - but then I remembered Jeeves’s cousin Dorian and his airy teasing that had a cruel edge to it, and instead, I asked, “Did Jeeves really say all that?”

“Not in so many words, but I’ve learned to observe a little over the years.”

“Well, I say! It’s really me who’s lucky to have Jeeves, with all he does for me. I only wish I could do enough to repay him.”

“I’m certain that you repay him in your own way.”

If my dubiousness showed, Dr. Watson didn’t comment on it as I showed him to the door. I bid him a cheery “Toodle-pip!” and retired to the sitting room.

Abruptly left to my own devices with no urgent mission at hand, I found myself rather at a loss. I puttered about for a bit, lit another gasper, finished off my s. and b., and even gave the book I had been reading the night before a cursory flip, but all the while my thoughts lingered on Jeeves. The words on the page meant nothing compared to the looming fear of Jeeves’s condition taking a sudden turn for the worse.

Finally, I decided enough was enough.

The floorboards creaked more than they’d ever before had the gall to creak as I toed it through the kitchen, toward Jeeves’s quarters, doing my best not to wake the man from his much needed slumbers. It was only as I stopped at the door, a hand upon the knob, that I realized the bally rumminess of it all. Whether Jeeves had really taken something of a liking to me or not, I couldn’t very well go peeking into my man’s quarters, ill or the very image of health, without a good reason.

And just as I was dithering at the door, my stomach came roaring to the rescue. It wasn’t so much a roar as a gurgle, but it made itself known and the next moment I had a plan of action fully formed. The first order of business was tea. The morning’s oolong had long since gone cold, and so I set about fiddling with the stove.

Perhaps thanks to my Aunt Agatha - that horrible aunt who howls at the moon and drinks the blood of the innocent - you may be under the impression that I have no ability to take care of myself without Jeeves acting as my keeper. That is not entirely true. I am certain I would waste away to nothing without him for a week, but, as I have said, for a day or two with just cause, I can manage. And to whomever has given you the impression that I cannot operate my own stove, I say “tinkerty-tonk.”

That is not to say that I am an expert tea-brewer or have in any way mastered the arts of the home at which Jeeves excels, but I can very well pull together a cup of tea. After a rather lot of prodding and waiting and prodding and waiting again, I emerged with a piping hot cup of just the stuff. It smelled about right, though it was difficult to tell after the steam burned my nostrils. It was with some measure of pride then, that I carried it ho, into Jeeves’s quarters, careful not to spill a drop - I shook some droplets off the saucer for good measure, before gently propping open the door.

Jeeves was, of course, alert and awake upon my arrival, greeting me with an ever formal, “Sir?” his tone just barely beginning to question what I was dashed well doing there.

“What ho, Jeeves!” I proclaimed, gesticulating somewhat more than I ought with the precious cargo in hand - I hastily put a stop to it before all the tea splashed out onto the floor. “Just come with a spot of tea, what?”

“That’s very kind of you, sir,” Jeeves said, sounding a little confused, the poor sick lamb.

Once the cargo had been carefully rested upon the bedside table, I took a good look at my man. His state was greatly deteriorated from his usual strength, propped up on a few threadbare pillows, his dark hair in wild disarray, and his eyes drooping. It took him a bit of effort just to push himself far enough upright to have a drink of tea.

I hastily bent over to assist him, but I’m afraid I rather more got in the way.

“Thank you, sir,” Jeeves said softly, giving the cup a tentative sip.

Despite all the chaos around them, his features remained impassive, those dark eyes with their inscrutable infinite depths, regarding me just a foot or so away from my own baby blues - a shiver ran down my spine.

It jolted me into self-awareness and I jumped the rest of the way upright. “Just thought I’d hop by and see how you’re coping, what?”

“Very kind of you, sir.”

“Is there anything else you need, what? A book to read, or any extra blankets or what not?”

“No, sir. As Dr. Watson instructed, all I require now is rest.”

“Oh, yes, right-o then! I’ll let you get back to that, what? I’ll just be popping down to the Drones for lunch then, unless you’d rather I stayed here, that is.”

“Not at all, sir.”

“Right-o!”

After bumping into the wall, I backed out the door and closed it behind me before taking a moment to regain my bearings. I had half a mind to wonder where Jeeves kept the cooking sherry, in the hope that it might quell my firing nerves, but thankfully it soon passed, my head righted itself, and I set off for the Drones post haste in search of a more appetizing apéritif.

You may be thinking that being overwhelmed with gratitude when Jeeves miraculously lifts victory from the soup of defeat is one thing, but it doesn’t become a fellow to get all in a tizzy like this over something so simple as bringing his man some tea, but it must be understood that the circs. were rather far out of the ordinary. For one, it was me bringing Jeeves the tea, rather than the other way around. And for another, this was no ordinary man, but Jeeves, the paragon of a valet who had gotten me out of the soup more times than I could count and was an inimitable man besides, and so I dashed well wanted to do right by him in his hour of need, even though it had me well out of my usual depths.

Under the aforementioned circs., it was a somber, serious Bertram Wooster that lunched at the Drones that afternoon. I tossed a bit of bread about with the lads, but my thoughts lingered back in the flat with Jeeves. As I finished my lunch - more picked at rather than devoured, as would have been expected of a Wooster short one breakfast - I asked for some soup to bring back to my indisposed man. As it so happens, the cook at the Drones is acquainted with Jeeves and happily obliged, and so I was sent home bearing his sympathies and a tureen of his own special recipe.

I hurried back to the flat with the precious tureen and carefully ladled out a bowl of still warm soup. With a lot of slow, awkward movements, I managed to maneuver the door to Jeeves’s quarters open, soup in hand, without making a spill, only to find the man himself fast asleep in bed. I felt a small pang of disappointment, shortly overcome by relief that he was finally resting. He looked awfully peaceful; every muscle usually kept at stiff attention, for once allowed to relax. The teacup I had left with him before departing for the Drones now sat empty on the bedside table, and so in its place I put the bowl of soup, ready for whenever he woke.

Just as I was tiptoeing out, I heard Jeeves stirring in the bed behind me. I glanced back to see him hastily drawing himself to attention - as much so as he could manage.

“Thank you, sir,” he said hoarsely.

“Not at all, Jeeves!” I exclaimed, my voice too loud for the sickroom. “Bon appetit, what?” And with that, I stumbled back out into the kitchen.

With nothing more to be done - my bearings quickly regained - I returned to sulk about the sitting room with a gasper in one hand and a glass in the other. I’m not usually a terribly busy chap. I live a life of leisure and I, for one, am content not to be running about at all hours of the day and night, as much as my Aunt Agatha and her ilk may believe I do too little of the former and too much of the latter. No, it’s the quiet life for Bertram W. on all fronts. But on this occasion, I was downright preoccupied and rather wished I had something else to hold up my mind.

I lay about, did a spot of pacing, and lay about some more. I would have poked at the keys of the piano, but if my light tread was enough to awaken Jeeves, the instrument would have been a sure thing. And I couldn’t very well leave the flat in case Jeeves’s condition took a sudden turn for the worse.

I threw myself back down upon the sofa a bit more loudly than I ought and made a half-hearted attempt to reimmerse myself in the mystery that had seemed so captivating the day before. Today, however, each clever remark made me think of Jeeves’s sly, understated wit, each foolish mistake of how he would have doubtless done better, and each description of a corpse inevitably called to mind the image of him huddled beneath the sheets, fighting off death’s icy grasp as I sat reading, whiling away the hours.

I could stand it no longer. I tottered through the kitchen to Jeeves’s quarters just to be certain he was getting his requisite rest and hadn’t been calling out to me, his hoarse voice too quiet to be heard through the walls.

Jeeves lay in bed, to all appearances fast asleep, not at all like a fellow fighting off the icy hand of death. The soup, now lukewarm, sat untouched on the table where I had left it. Jeeves’s eyes fluttered open upon my arrival. 

Met with his sharp gaze, I hastily cast about for an excuse. “I don’t suppose there’s anything else you need, what? Any blankets or water or anything?”

“No, sir.” More gently, Jeeves insisted, “You are very kind, sir, but as you said yourself, what I need now is rest.”

“Oh, right-o.”

“Sir, if you would be more comfortable, I would have no objection to you remaining here.”

“I say! Rather! If that’s all right with you, I mean.”

“Certainly, sir. It would be preferable by far to the current arrangement.”

“Right-o! I’ll just get my book then.”

I dashed back to the sitting room, and in two blinks of an eye, I was back in Jeeves’s quarters, perched on the kitchen chair Dr. Watson had left by the bedside, book in hand. Jeeves regarded me a moment with something approaching a smile, before letting his head fall back upon the pillow and his eyes fall shut.

I sat silent and still, not daring to move lest the noise reach his acute senses and jar him from the dreamless. But I didn’t mind the stillness so much. There was something soothing about the sight of the man, peacefully at rest. I fancied I saw the trace of a smile lingering across his finely chiseled features. Even in sleep, there was something undeniably remarkable about the chap. You could see him gleaming with intelligence from miles away, his head sticking out a little in back just to accommodate all of that grey matter.

His eyelid flickered and I hastily turned my attention to my book.

It was much easier reading with Jeeves there beside me, sleeping soundly. I just made sure to turn the pages quietly and on a few occasions had to bite back exclamations, but on the whole, it was smooth sailing. Whenever a corpse showed up, all I had to do was glance down at Jeeves to be sure he was as life-like as ever, and looking healthier every minute for all the rest he was getting.

I don’t know exactly when I dozed off too, but the next thing I knew, I felt a warm hand on my wrist pulling me back into awareness, my back and neck sore as the dickens from sleeping where I sat, in that dratted uncomfortable kitchen chair.

“You may find a chair in the sitting room more to your liking, sir,” Jeeves remarked.

“You don’t say, Jeeves,” I retorted, still a bit groggy as I rolled out my neck and shoulders, and strained my back.

“Yes, sir.”

I rubbed open my eyes, still struggling in the bright light of day. Jeeves was still there in the bed beside me - not that I was so lucky as to have slept in the bed; I having been consigned to that dashed uncomfortable chair. He looked well, less feverish, I mean, his eyes back to their usual luster and what not, though he still seemed a little worse for the wear, tired and worn.

“Sleep well, what?” I asked.

“Yes, very well. Thank you, sir.” He certainly seemed refreshed.

Jeeves regarded me with a sort of rummy soft expression, if you get my meaning, nothing bad, just unusual for the chap, like he was amused by something, but without the amusement, or like I had somehow caught him off his guard, but with none of the startled look of having been caught.

“Feeling back to your old self, what?”

“Yes, sir.” Jeeves pushed himself upright, looking like he was about to get out of bed.

I hastily gestured him back down.

“Sir, your concern is gratifying, but I assure you that it is unnecessary.”

“Not necessary? Now see here Jeeves, you’ll get as much rest as Dr. Watson said if you know what’s good for you! I won’t very well have you suffering a re- what is it, Jeeves?’

“A relapse, sir?”

“I won’t have you suffering a relapse just because you’re fool enough to go back to work before you’re properly recovered and I’m fool enough to let you. And that’s final,” I added, seeing an argumentative glint in his eyes.

“Very good, sir,” Jeeves relented at last.

I was feeling rather pleased with my latest victory and it was with a bit of a Jeevesian flourish that I asked, “Now, is there anything I can get for you?”

“If you will not permit me to get it for myself, I believe a spoon for the soup would be called for, sir.”

“Oh! Yes, of course! Right on it, Jeeves!”

I hopped over to the kitchen, rummaged around a bit, and hopped back with the called for utensil.

I lingered by Jeeves’s sickbed for a few ticks longer, chewing the fat and what not, before finally biffing off to the Drones for dinner and leaving my man to his belated meal - the soup had gone cold, but he stubbornly refused my every offer to reheat it for him on the stove. Dinner was much like lunch; quiet and brief, occupied with thoughts of Jeeves. I saw Bingo and some of the other fellows, but I didn’t have the heart for more than a round or two, before hastening back home.

The flat was quieter than I had left it - silent, in fact - but the mouth-watering smell of something cooking wafted in from the kitchen. However, I found nothing simmering on the stove and, as far as I could discern, not a thing had been touched since I left for the Drones. Jeeves was awake, but not upright when I slipped into his quarters, looking still fitter than when I had left him mere hours before. I noted that the dishes on the bedside table were gone without a trace.

I beamed at the chap and proclaimed, “What ho, Jeeves!”

“Good evening, sir,” he answered with some suggestion of a smile.

“Rested and comfortable, what?”

“Yes, sir. I take it that your dinner at the Drones was satisfactory?”

“Rather!” Back in Jeeves’s company, everything took on a rosier tint, even my hasty supper. “But it’s good to be home, what?”

“Indeed, sir.”

Outside of Jeeves’s cozy little room, the sky was rapidly darkening. It wasn’t nearly a late enough hour for Bertram W. to consider calling it a night under usual circs., but these were hardly the usual circs. I was feeling a bit drowsy myself and I thought I saw Jeeves’s eyes beginning to droop. The chap needed all the rest he could get to make a full recovery.

“Do you need anything for the night?” I asked on a bit of a delay. “I can bring over some blankets from the spare bedroom. Or I could put up another pot of tea.”

After a moment’s consideration, Jeeves replied, “An additional blanket would not be unwelcome, sir.”

“Right-o!”

I yanked the blanket off the bed in the spare bedroom, gave it a quick fold, and carried it proudly back to Jeeves. It was a bit of a joint effort getting the blanket all set up and making sure Jeeves was comfortable for the night. I popped back into the kitchen to bring him a glass of water, and then I lingered, hovering by the bedside, unsure what else to do, but reluctant to leave the man’s side.

“Need anything else, what?”

“No, sir. Thank you sir.” He looked up at me, his usually keen or alternatively empty gaze again strangely soft and earnest, a gentle smile playing across his features.

I could only beam back. I had half an impulse to bend down and brush a stray hair from his forehead, which I hastily restrained, pocketing my hands to keep them from acting of their own accord as they are wont to do.

All was quiet, the square outside the window dark and still. We seemed to be very much alone in the world.

“Good night then, Jeeves,” I said at last.

“Good night, sir.”

“‘Till tomorrow, what?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good night, then,” I said again, and bumped into the door frame on my way out into the kitchen.

I paced about the flat a bit, picking things up, putting them back down, and what not, feeling rather at a loss - what Jeeves does in the evenings after seeing me to bed is one of life’s great mysteries. But the trials of the day were enough to wear down even the Wooster spirit, and so, with a great yawn, I retreated back into my own bedroom and hastened to bed, hoping the next day would herald a return to normalcy in the Wooster abode.

Part of The Mysterious Mr. Jeeves

[sirvalrigard]

genuinely cannot figure it out. cann you please tell me what the fnaf series is about

OK OK so like we’re extremely off our shits rn but lets try to make this coherent

edit: this actually turned into a fucking wall of infodump bullshit so adding a cut lol

1970s. a gay furry dad named henry emily decides to make a furry restaurant cause he’s passionate abt animatronics and making kids happy. he opens the restaurant with a man named william afton as his business partner. henry makes animatronics and william handles idk being fucking creepy and handling money is my best guess. the restaurant is called Fredbear’s Family Diner, featuring Fredbear and Spring Bonnie (after a year or two it becomes popular enough for henry to have money to build bonnie, freddy, chica, and foxy too!) 

ok so shits fine and normal until william billiam is like ‘hmm im gonna be a child predator now’

on a rainy night one of henry’s children, Charlie Emily, is locked outside the pizzeria somehow, where william finds and kills them. the security marionette that henry built to protect his kids drags itself outside to their body, and thus is possessed by their spirit

obviously henry is fucked up but no one knew who the killer was, so henry was able to reopen another location, this time under the new name of Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza, with the now familiar friends Bonnie, Freddy, Foxy, and Chica to join the original two! multiple locations are eventually opened, and things are going just fucking fine until WILLY billy does his bullshit again!!

this time he lures them into the back by wearing a Spring Bonnie suit, and kills four children and stuffs their bodies into Bonnie, FReddy, Foxy, and Chica, where Marionette (charlie) finds them and binds their souls to the animatronics

but even though willish addon was employed at the very location he killed kids at, AND he was even convicted as the killer, since police couldnt find the bodies (and are useless) he didnt go to jail which is honestly so accurate its the scariest part of the franchise

so like henry at this point i imagine is like “fuck this” and sells the restaurant line to—you know what? honestly? i would love to know who runs Fazbear Entertainment. with the way help wanted was going i rlly hope we get an expansion on that with them as the villians (destroy capitalism) ANYWAY–

“Fazbear Entertainment” becomes the parent company of this mess now and theyre like :)……oh lets hire that william guy again hes fine

and at this point wwillus is making his OWN fucking pizzeria and his OWN animatronics and is actively kidnapping, torturing, and killing children to steal life essence from their souls! during the process of testing this, he gets his own ‘daughter’ Elizabeth Afton killed!! yeah im not fucking making this up!! (ppl in the fandom really defend this guy lol)

1983. so as Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzas are expanding,  Willard Afturd somehow? got himself some children. like to raise. like as a “““father”““. personally i do like 2 think a mother was involved but honestly he totally coulda just fucking kidnapped some random children to raise as his own and im starting to think thats more plausible  actually BUT ITS NOT GAME THEORY TIIME

one of these kids he is personally torturing! his own “son”! incredible! long story short this traumatized child ( unofficially named CC Afton ) is forced into the mouth of Fredbear by his brother Michael Afton and his friends, aaaand he dies ( and is guided by Charlie to possess Fredbear )

even after years of rumors about dead kids being hidden in animatronics, its this accident is the last straw for Fazbear’s Pizza and they are finally shut down. then WILL rubs his nasty hands together and tries to open his OWN pizzeria with his original OCs do not Steal™, Funtime Freddy, Bon Bon, Ballora, Circus Baby ( possessed by Elizabeth) , and Funtime Foxy and theyre all. probably possessedtoo cause theyre used 4 his kid torture fetish

uh ok so Aphton is like hey michael go clean up my child abuse for me anyway brb so his son Mwanders into his father’s Pizzeria to find his sister elizabeth . long story short…………he finds her and she does the “we’re brothers but closer” spongebob meme but also with her friends

ANd they leave! hooray! from then on the story is about Michael, whos zombified now after being used as a husk to hide an amalgamation of 5 animatronics fucking trying to find his shitty fuckass dad, and to help the anguished and vengeful spirits inside

but the first location to reopen after having been shut down, Wilson AAAAA is employed AND KILLS SOME MORE KIDS who would have guessed omg amazing..stunning.. and michael is employed there JUST a week too late like it happens RIGHT before he’s employed so Wumbo Man gets away again and Fazbear Entertainment gets shut down AGAIN, in 1987

not too many years later Fazbear Entertainment tries to open restaurants yES AGAIN and theyre still using the original animatronics that are still rotting and bloody on the inside . somehow this place stays open for a bit, and michael is employed there still looking for Worst Father Ever, and the children attack him due to rage and confusion, and when they kill another employee, the restaurant is shut down for like the trillionth time

but then for some reason Whenwillhedie Afton is like im gonna go try to dismantle the other haunted animatronics at the shut down pizzerias cause i dont actually even know i have shit for brains and also probably wanted to melt them down for life juice BUT

theyrelike FUCK OFF and the spirits of the children materialize in front of Wellington Well Done and force him into the old crusty spring bonnie suit that he’d murdured in before nd spring is like FUCKy ou and crushesAlton with their animatronic parts aand smush him. trapped now #springbonnieisgoodguy

the spirits go to rest in animatronica, the events of fnafworld happen when: 30 fucing years later in like the 2010s some jackasses thought it would be a good idea to mak e a haunted hoiuse attraction based on fazbear’s pizza and use actual shit from the restaurants and of COURSE this fuck shit up hardcore and disturbs the spirits from the rest that they were in ( until it turned intp the events of FNAF World ) and then they were ripped back into reality when Fazbear’s Fright was built

also! they found WWWacky smacky Acky all rotting away inside Spring Bonnie (now called Springtrap) and were like yeah this is good. definitely not a robot struggling to hold back the influence of a murderer predator and definitely wouldnt haev a problem with being set free

basically michael hears about this thing when it opens and is the first employee there and proceeeds to burn the whole place down as soon as he sees Willmont stuck inside ofs Springtrap

buuuut it doesnt work and Springtrap and other various spirits and haunted robots are still wandering the fuck around and Henry at this point is like Okay I Need To Do Something About This Cause This Is Entirely Out Of Fucking Hand and he reopens a Freddy Fazbear’s location himself, but advertises for a manager who wants to build their own pizzeria

you know who pounces on this like a purple cat? MIKE hes like FUCK yeah egg boys gonna kill his dad and be ann egg MAN today

with the help of Henry’s use  of luring mechanics and michael’s endurance and survival skill they gather Scrap Baby (elizabeth), Lefty (charlie), Scraptrap (springtrap, unfortunately  who has a rotton raisin inside him ), and Molten Freddy (the remaining animatronics that  had jumped into michael’s skin lumped together)

soon as theyre all there ? boom . henry lights the place on fire just like mike had and THEY BOTH JUST SIT THERE AND DIE IN IT TOO LIKE ITS SO METAL and it burns everyone else as well

and all the kids are like

uwu

owo

and drag william afton into HELL!! and they get to torture him for a while together and get the revenge they deserve hell yeah tbh UCN is so iconic

BUT Fazbear Entertainment drinks the capitalism so theyre like…. :((( we’ve been so bullied we totally didnt haev an employee who killed countless children… .pleas,e,e,, buy our mehrch, , n,,jdn

SO they employ an AU version of scott cawthon to make, essentially, the games that we’ve all been playing, but like, in-universe, – so the company in universe has fnaf video games made in order to make light of and cover up the actual murders that happened in the canon. is this too meta yet?

okay i lied this is also the scariest part of the franchise bc of how accurate it is to corrupt business hGJFSKDLHDSS

therefore, they create Help Wanted, the recently released VR game (also a game in-universe) and they use salvaged circuitboards and shit from all the old animatronics to program the game, but of course that just ends up transferring everyone’s soul into the game – the kids, the animatronic AIs, and BASTARD MAN

spring bonnie, now called Glitchtrap, is in a deteriorated mental state and is weak to Afton’s influence, and the fuck is able to manipulate an unknown amount of people into helping him out of the VR game and into the in-universe real world. one of these people was jeremy fitzgerald, michael afton’s childhood friend and a former employee at Fazbear’s Pizza during 1987.

he was involved in a lawsuit against the company making the game, and we don’t know what has happened to him yet. but he’s very important. evidence points to him being one of the kids that helped michael put CC’s head into Fredbear’s mouth, and that in 1987 when working at freddys he was bitten and is somehow functioning without a frontal lobe (but like, michael at this point is functioning with insides made of pudding and rotting skin so . basically theyre both too gay to die )

but we DO know that theres at least one person communicating directly with Glitchtrap, who he seems to have convinced to help set him free, someone whos made their own rabbit mask but doesnt seem to be willingly doing this, and might be brainwashed

also, currently, (this is really weird because we are currently living in the same time as the fnaf timeline is at right now) Fazbear Entertainment is planning on a “service program” that is basically sending personal animatronics to peoples houses and GUESS how fucking well THAT works out bc theyre STILL ALL HAUNTED YOuf g

and it seems like theyre planning on opening a new location in 2020, and that might be when we can learn more about the reluctant follower of springtrap and who has the camera while everyone moshes on william aftons corpse

basically the games are about childhood trauma, recovery, the love of family and friends, and justice against many kinds of evils

also where the fuck is sammy

[1stunseeliefaelass]

Darksiders Arthurian Tales Revisited

Chapter 11: The Oncoming Storm

Uther meanwhile had placed the coordinates of the rune into a crystal, and used it as a pendulum on a map. After some time spinning, the pendulum went still, pointing at Vortigern's home.

Uther actually facepalmed, "Should've known better. My own brother. Don't make this hard on yourself."

With that Uther turns in for the night, hoping for the best. That his brother will 'listen to reason'. The next morning he awoke and was actually a bit nervous. He still cared for his younger brother, as he'd always supported him before. Especially when he first took their Father's throne. With all these concerns in mind, Uther prepared a carriage to ride out to his brother's home.

Meanwhile Morgen began to hear a voice in her dreams, "Ilona.....Ilona.....my sweet Ilona....I'm coming.....coming back to retrieve you....."

"Who's there? Uther? Is that you in my head?" Morgen calls out.

"Uther.....funny.....how long has it been my sweet Ilona? Don't you remember? Can't you see me?"

"My name is Morgen, so why keep calling me that? Finally, no I do not remember you nor can I see you." Morgen explains.

The void she's currently standing in begins to reveal stars. But upon closer inspection, she only sees eyes. Naturally her knee jerk reaction comes out, and she screams in terror.

The voice laughs, "My sweet Ilona....how long has it truly been my sweet Ilona?"

"Who are you?! What do you want with me?!"

"Look behind you." The voice says tauntingly.

Morgen does so nervously and sees a sheep horned being with eyes sewn shut and body looking rotted. Almost partially mummified as a dark veil surrounded him. She also sees red jewels upon his head and horns that seemed like eyes. More eyes. As Morgen stared in horror the voice spoke again.

"Ooooooh.....my sweet Ilona......"

Suddenly Morgen felt herself being pulled backwards through a portal that spewed light as far as she could tell. She dare not turn around again however. With a jolt and scream in horror she awoke in her bed. Breathing heavily and hugging herself in fear.

Barrcus was instantly alert and wrapped her in his arms, "Shhhh....what's wrong what's wrong?"

Morgen explained as best she could what she'd dreamed off. Although Barrcus was stuck with her rushing through it in her panic.

"Slow down slow down, what was it?" Barrcus pressed her.

Death then came into the room, "What's wrong, what the hell happened?"

"She had nightmare, it seems familiar but I don't really know she's saying."

"She's panicking, that's why she's rambling. You have to calm her down first, then figure out what happened." Death explains. He then sits beside her, grasping her hands, "I'm here, I'm here."

Soon Morgen does start to calm down, it helps that Fuzzball hops in after Death. Noticing he hadn't come back to feed him yet. He of course helps Morgen where he can too. Giving her affection and kisses. After snuggling Fuzzball and getting a gentle sidehug from Death she calmed down completely. From there she explained the dream she had in better detail. Fuzzball seemed a bit scared by the things she described to them.

Death looked at her oddly, "What in the nine hells, was that? I've never heard of any demon, of any kind looking like THAT. How stressed have you been lately, given everything that's happened?"

"Not terribly so in all honesty. If anything I.....uh....Barrcus what's wrong?"

"You used to have that nightmare as a child, before being turned into an Unseelie. You also had these horns when you were little, but you lost them, again, when you were converted." Barrcus explains.

Death then looked at him funny, "Wait horns? Show me."

Barrcus parted Morgen's hair where they were. Death then noticed Morgen was reacting to Barrcus touching them.

"So you can feel your horns?"

"It would explain my dizzy spell from last night." Morgen says.

"I would somewhat surmise but why would have that? From just growing horns?"

"It started when I went to leave your room. I had sensed you needed me, and felt compelled to help. Something kept telling me to reach you, then to touch your head when I approached you. I then entered your nightmare." Morgen explains frankly.

"Wait a second, moonlight, horns, that was you?"

"Yes, were you unable to see me?" Morgen inquires.

"Throughout most of the experience I was in a delirious state, so I don't know if I saw you or not. It's all a little fuzzy." Death admits.

"I see. Well I was indeed in your head, and after I made sure you were at peace I went to leave. I got dizzy on my way out and the next thing I know everything went black."

"Next time you have one of these urges, let me urge you NOT to go through with them." Death insists.

"Very well, I only meant to help."

"Well I would say take caution with this stuff but, I feel like I'm out of my element with this. Wait a second, I do remember Merlin bringing up Dream Magic at one point. It was involving the Wendigo." Death states.

"Then let's speak to him, right away." Morgen replies.

Then suddenly her younger cousins come into the room looking scared.

"Cousin Morgen, Uncle Uther's here." Anna says.

"Yeah, he doesn't look angry but he's still scary." Elaine adds on.

Morgen hugs the little girls in their terror, "Easy sweeties easy now."

Death meanwhile immediately begins thinking of measures to keep Morgen away from Uther. "Stay behind me, get your brother."

Morgen nods and hurries to do so with Death making sure to keep ahead of her. Upon finding Arthur playing in his crib she quickly scoops him up. He gets upset though as he drops his new toy. Morgen gives it him but makes sure she has an excuse ready as to why it exists. Arthur calms as soon as he gets his toy back and Morgen hurries after Death. Only to bump into Uther talking to Vortigern at the main doorway.

"There a reason why you're here brother?"

"I left a tracker to find an enemy of the state. It led me here, I need to...search the grounds for him." Uther states.

"I can't just let you into my home brother."

"Why not?" Uther inquired.

"It isn't ready for guests."

Uther then points out, "You're living here are you not. This was a gift for you, was it not? Pray tell, who gave it to you?"

"You did."

"And I can easily take it away. The only reason I don't is because I care about you, and your children. Besides, it would break Morgen's heart dearly if she found out what happened. She's always spoken so highly of you little brother, and she adores your daughters. I also know that whenever she disappears she comes straight to you. Though this is the first time she's taken Arthur with her I must say." Uther states.

Morgen meanwhile, is quietly having a panic attack and tries muffling her frantic breathing by placing her face against Death's back. Death feels her breaths on his back and quietly tells her, "Relax, I won't let him take you. Besides, he doesn't know you're here right now."

"Anyway, I'm here to see Morgen, to see how she's doing." Uther then says.

"Last time I checked she ran off yesterday." Vortigern tries to tell him.

"My sources say otherwise, so again would allow me in your house. Besides I need to check for the 'criminal' in question."

Morgen felt faint at this and Death finally turned around, "Relax, he doesn't know we're here right now."

"So are you going to let me in?" Uther asks Vortigern again.

"No, last I checked I had no 'enemies of the state'."

Morgen grabbed Death's arm and pleaded, "Death please......I can't....I can't breathe.....please....get me away......please."

Death quickly brings her back to Barrcus and questions him, "What's her best memory?"

"There's a coast by where her original parents used to live. I'll tell you where it is." Barrcus states showing him on a map.

Death keeps it in mind and quickly inquires, "Should we take Arthur with us?"

"I'll keep him safe, don't worry. Just make sure Morgen calms down. I've seen what happens if she melts down." Barrcus explains gesturing to himself partially.

Death nods, "Right. Just let us know when he's gone."

Barrcus nods as well, "Ok. Now quickly."

Death then rushes Morgen away to get her outside, making sure she's at least calm enough to be quiet. Keeping her close to help ensure she isn't taken without him noticing. Finally he makes it out of the house with her and summons Despair to ride out of there. Morgen holds onto him the whole way, course eventually he stops Despair so they can 'take a break'.

Morgen hugs him right away and implores, "Death, why have we stopped? And be honest this time."

"Cause right now apparently you need to remain calm. So, tell me something about yourself that you've not told me yet."

"Uhm ok....well....my actual name is Morgana. I just go by Morgen because it sickens me when Uther says my real name." Morgen explains.

"Ah, whatelse about you? Like uhm....what's your favorite kind of meal?" Death asks before thinking to himself, "Seriously imbecile? Seriously? That was the best you could do?"

"Hmm well I actually like soups, particularly anything fragrant and cooling." Morgen says earnestly.

"Uhm eh.....ok.....What's your favorite kind of music?"

"Folk music from various places. Mina was a big influence in that front. Always preached openness with music. What about you? What's your favorite music?" Morgen replies managing a smile.

"Aggressive....probably aggressive..." Death tells her a bit embarrassed.

"Plenty of orchestral pieces can be aggressive from what I've seen."

"Heheheheheheh....you've haven't heard aggressive, until you've heard metal mixed with orchestra." Death insists to her.

Morgen snickers a bit, "I'll bare this in mind then. Shall we push on? Unless you'd rather remain a bit longer?"

"I don't mind talking, as long as it's with good company. But I think it's best that we continue."

"Right, the further away from 'him' the better." Morgen states in agreement.

She hops back onto Despair with Death's help before the two continue their ride. Soon enough the smell of salt in the air tells Death where he is. He finds the coast easily enough, overlooked by an abandoned castle. It looked as though it could fall into the sea at any moment. Morgen herself hopped off Despair once more and walks out towards the water. She actually pulls a crystal from her belt pouch and then with the snap of her fingers her clothing disappears. Then her crystal lights up, indicating the clothes were there for later. As Morgen looked through the crystal's inventory for a towel, Death glances her way,

"Dah! Was not expecting that...at all. Didn't mean for that, my bad, I'm sorry. I'll be over here...."

"Oh I'm sorry, I probably should've warned you huh?" Morgen inquires nervously.

""Uh yep, warning would've helped, it definitely would've helped. Didn't know were on a nude beach to begin with." Death says sarcastically.

"Oh very funny. Give me a moment."

Morgen went back to looking through the inventory and ended up finding a swimsuit. She'd actually gotten it once sometime back, having enjoyed the look it. Deep blue with gold trim and gold corset style laces over the slit in the skirt and the breast pieces.

Once she got it on she hollered at Death, "Better?"

Death looked back over after a moment of calming the dragon down, "I uh.....woah...just woah.", all the while he prayed to the Creator that he wouldn't have to tame the dragon again.

"Is it too much perhaps? I know it's still a bit 'showy' but...." Morgen begins to say.

Death closed the distance quickly and placed his hand under her chin, "It's fine. Besides enjoy the water, I'll be there in a moment."

Morgen smiles heading into the sea. The water was cool and clear as the sky above. The breeze was actually quite pleasant as well. Morgen couldn't help but feel at ease as she dove beneath the waves to explore. Using a spell to make sure she could breathe underwater, before dancing slowly with the sea's current aiding her in the movements. Doing the occasional slow twirl or flip was equally enjoyable as well. Course she heard a hard dive above her and glanced up in confusion. She saw Death swimming frantically to her and quickly hurried up to him. Seeing she was fine gave him peace but he wanted to be sure, and so pulled her back above the surface.

"Next time you think about heading under, tell me. Just in case you know?"

"Forgive me, got a bit excited. It's been so long since I've enjoyed the sea like this." Morgen explains apologetically.

"How long has it been since you've been here?"

"I actually can't say with certainty. It's....just been that long." Morgen replies a bit solemnly.

"How long has he been keeping you locked up in that castle?"

"I want to say....it was ever since my Mother passed. After that I found myself closed off. Rarely allowed outside the castle, and rarer still that I visit anyone. Usually they'd have to come see me, and very few people could put up with Uther for long. Especially with him watching like a hawk and listening to everything." Morgen tells him.

"How the hell did he become King?"

"I'm told he wasn't always the way he is now. Vortigern always states as much. Saying how he'd once been an honorable man. Both of them served their people and Father well. But their Father had soon proven himself 'inadequate' as my Uncle likes to put it. So much so, that they were left with only one choice. To end their Father so that Uther might usurp him, being the eldest of the two. Uther took this option with as much reluctance as my Uncle, according to him anyway. He ruled properly for a time, making allies in grand places and strategic plans for any scenarios that came up to threaten his reign. However, over time....he became more brutal, and less sympathetic to his enemies. It all came to a head when he met my Mother. Only my Father stood in his way, and was met with hostility for it. Uther wanted blood, and my Mother. And he gladly achieved both goals. Then after my Mother died, he suddenly developed a persecution complex and became fiercely overprotective of me. Only for that to turn into something far worse for me." Morgen explains.

"You think there's anything left of the good man he used to be?"

"I've seen....glimpses...I think. Personally it looks like pure madness to me, but it's at the same time different. His hair and body will go pale, he'll appear almost sickly. His personality will also shift suddenly too, and he'll be actually somewhat nice to people. But it never lasts long, he also tends to look far angrier when he comes out of those episodes of calm."

Death narrows his eyes in thought, "Strange. Does he ever stand in the middle of a room, not knowing why he was there to begin with?"

"No, not once."

"How angry does he get when these 'episodes' happen?" He questions her.

"Angry enough to throw things across rooms when he 'comes to his senses' so to speak."

"Even stranger. I've no idea what is going on, that much I do know. I'm sorry, wish I could help." Death expresses.

"You are helping, more than you think. You listen to me for one, and secondly you've been a big support to me."

"Hmmm.......thank you."

"Thank you as well." Morgen replies.

"Have you ever been close to marine wildlife before?" Death asked in a quick spark of an idea forming.

"Only small things usually. Why?"

"Hmm...let's see if we can fix that. Follow me."

Death then brings Morgen back under, and waits for her to redo the spell for breathing. She goes to put it on him as well, but he gestures that he's fine. Then he begins leading Morgen to the reef below them. Morgen was delighted to see it teeming with life. With several small fish and other little critters darting around the coral. She watches them before Death gently pulls her over to small cave. Inside it is an octopus tending to her eggs. Death couldn't help but smile behind the mask as Morgen gushed. Course he quickly pulled her back once the Mother octopus got too annoyed with them.

As they began to back away from the cave, a shark made it's way over to them. Morgen quickly began tapping Death, but he simply held his hand out. The shark gets close only to immediately turn away. Death keeps his hand out for a time before finally stopping. Then he points out to Morgen to look at the reef again. She does so and cocks her confusion but Death has an idea. He taps a structure nearby that seems to be coming out from under the reef. After a second of that the 'structure' moves and Morgen realizes the whole reef is moving now. Death pulls her up ways quickly, and it's then that Morgen realizes the reef is actually on a massive crab. It looks like a hermit crab mated with a decorator crab. They remain to watch the giant crab head on it's way, and then head back up to the surface. Upon breaking the surface, Morgen can't help but express her excitement.

"That was incredible. An entire reef on a massive creature. What a perfect place for one."

"You should hear about giant sea turtles with the islands on their backs. I've even seen some that can fly." Death informs her.

"That sounds amazing in all honesty. Although I imagine the turtles probably get irritated easily hmm?"

"Depends, the older they are the less likely they are to get frustrated. I've seen an entire civilization on one before." Death explains.

"That's amazing. Thank you for showing me the reef. It was wonderful. Although why did the shark leave us alone?"

"Magnemancy, I learned a few tricks here and there. For one thing, Sharks don't like magnets. Two, multiple, powerful magnetic pulses to sharks means something big is in front of them. Simple science, that's all." Death states simply.

Morgen nods in understanding, then gets a sneaky idea. She decides to use some magic of her own. Using some water magic, she amplifies a splash of water his way. Not too much of course, but enough to drench him. Course Death looks at her with a cocked head, and a sly grin under his mask as she laughs.

"Really?" Death asks before flexing then creating a splash of his own to drench her, "There's some magic for ya."

Morgen and Death then go back and forth for a bit. That is until Death restrains Morgen in a hug.

"Ok that's enough. Let's head back to shore, relax a bit there savvy."

"Sounds good to me." Morgen says relenting and following him back.

She lays on her beach towel and Death finally sees just how pale she is. Naturally he does have to ask about how bad sunburns are for her, "How easy is it for you to get burned, by the sun?"

"Oh right...I should probably use lotion." Morgen says looking in her crystal.

"Yes that would be a very smart idea."

"Said the pale gray man. You sure you don't need any yourself?" Morgen inquires.

"I have a natural healing ability, you don't. Plus I'm half demon, burning isn't a thing that happens."

"Alright alright, quit your flexing. Think you could help me out? I can get most of my body on my own. But my back....not so much." Morgen says.

"Ok then....welp here goes nothing." Death says before checking the SPF on the bottle she has, "Now let's see what we got here. SPF fifty, that should be a hundred. Given how pale you are."

"Ok Mr. SPF one thousand, very funny. Check my crystal for more if you wish."

He jolts before grumbling at the fact that she's keeping up with him. He looks through her inventory crystal to find a better bottle and ends up finding a book that has an interesting title. One he recognizes from a collection one his old friends has.

He can't hell but laugh, "Stars on the Sea? Are you serious? This is a poor attempt at romantic space horror, for a reason."

"Yes it's pretty cheesy, although...how is it you know that Horseman hmm? Got a little curious one night?" Morgen asks coyly.

"I have a certain friend who enjoys these kinds of books. She likes to describe them to me, or read em out. I lost a bet, and I had to read this one. Ugh.....at least she found the event humorous."

Morgen contains most of her laughter, but snickers do escape, "Oh that must've been so horrible for you."

"Even worse when the others showed up unexpectedly. Strife NEVER let me forget it, he even RECORDED IT. It's ok, I got him back with a similar twist. True torture, for him not for us. We were laughing our asses off, well subtly." Death explains chuckling a bit towards the end.

"Sounds like something to witness. Guessing you recorded it as well?"

"Ehehehehehehahahahaha....yeeees. Wanna see?" Death tells her.

"Believe me, I do." Morgen replies giggling.

"Just sit still so I can put the lotion on ok? Don't need to...touch anything by accident."

"Right." Morgen says softly before relaxing on her stomach.

Death gives her his own crystal with the recording on it as he works on her back. He works to be gentle on her so he doesn't hurt her. Course he can't help but notice something interesting, the wing tattoos on her back had an iridescent look to em. This wasn't something Fae had, so perhaps Morgen was something more than that. He couldn't readily tell what she may be race wise though. He would've gotten the back of her legs as well, but he figured that'd be a job for her. He didn't want to intrude on any boundaries. Course when working on her shoulders a bit and her neck he noticed she reacted strangely. Well it looked strange until he recognized what she was doing. Apparently her shoulder and neck were a bit sensitive.

"Uhmmmm....think my job here is done." Death immediately says before going to wash his hands off.

Morgen naturally begins working on the rest of her body and can't help but laugh hysterically as the recording reaches the most uncomfortable moments for Strife. As he's forced to read the novel he was given. Death glances over and sees just how flexible she is. A certain thought or two flashed through his mind before he quickly set such thoughts aside. He then turns around again, having yet another dragon to tame. Luckily it's not as bad this time. Course Morgen chooses to lay down after getting the lotion on. When Death looks back to her he sees her somewhat sprawling out on her towel. He checks up on her and sees she's just fine. Death then leans against a fallen tree log, his arms behind his head. Morgen soon rolls onto her side and begins absent-mindedly humming. Course Death heard it become softer over time and soon she went silent. He looked over to see her sleeping on her towel. Course he began to feel himself falling asleep as well, and immediately tried fighting it. His efforts were futile however, and soon he fell asleep himself. A couple hours later he wakes up to a singing feeling in his chest, particularly his nipples. A mix of a growl and groan leaves his mouth as he awakens. He decides to grab some shade but then hears Morgen groaning in her sleep as well. Placing a shadow mist over himself, he briskly walked over to her. He saw the horns on her head and realized they seemed a bit more noticeable now. He finally decided to wake her up as she didn't do so on her own.

"Morgen, wake up."

"Nnnnngh.....Death?" Morgen asked still partially asleep.

"Morgen?"

Morgen rolls over towards him and begins reaching around for where he is. Before Death can grab her hand, she accidentally touches his right pectoral. Death flinches instantly and quickly grabs her hand to stop her. This action woke Morgen up and she immediately apologized.

"Oh Creator I am so sorry!"

"Nngh.....that part of me is tender right now....just be careful...oww."

"Again Death I am so sorry. I....AHHHHAHHH! HaaaaaaaaAAAAAAH! AAHN!" Morgen repeated before suddenly being hit with more pain in her head.

Death quickly looked Morgen over and questioned her, "Morgen what is it?! What's going on?!"

"My head....aaahhhh.....!" Morgen yelled in her pain.

Death quickly checked around her head and noticed the horns again. This time, he felt them growing, "What....what the hell?"

Morgen only continued screaming in pain, prompting Death to call for help. He grabs a crystal and calls Strife, "Strife! Get Barrcus, we need his help!"

"Barrcus isn't here."

"Well get Merlin then, and hurry up!"

"Ok going to get him." Strife quickly says before hanging up. He's of course careful not to get caught too.

Merlin soon teleports to Death the second Strife reaches him with the word that something went wrong.

"What's seems to be the problem?"

"She's in massive pain and her horns are apparently growing." Death informs him.

"What? Horns? Ok when the hell did that happen? And why has nobody told me about this?"

"I'll explain later, now help her!" Death shouts.

"Easy easy easy, this may take a little bit of time." Merlin expresses.

Eventually Merlin does find the right spell, one that stops the pain for Morgen. But of course the pain left her drained and a bit lightheaded. Death kept her upright and inquired of Merlin, "Now what do we do, mage?"

"First off, you need to start telling me when the horns started growing. Second off, after you're done explaining that I need to tell you something."

"Alright, but we need to take her inside. She can't rest out here in the open." Death expresses a bit concerned.

"Alrighty, up to the scary ass castle." Merlin states.

"That....was my family's home....you know this..." Morgen protests.

"Save your energy." Death tells her before lifting her up princess style. The pains on his chest becoming trifles as his concern for Morgen takes over.

He can feel Morgen shift every so often in his arms and can't help but glance at her each time she does so. Gently he begins to stroke her face with his fingers a bit. As he keeps checking on her, Merlin notices him.

"Eyes of a hawk I see."

"What do you mean by that?" Death inquires.

Merlin gives him a suggestive stare, "Really? You still gonna pretend to be dense?"

Death cocks his head, "Seriously? So have you figured what's wrong with her?"

Merlin facepalms, "She needs to be on a bed first. Also, YOU NEED TO EXPLAIN TO ME WHEN THOSE HORNS SHOWED UP."

"It happened last night. She said she went into my dreams and this happened after that."

"Hmm, was it a nightmare or a dream, or both?" Merlin inquires.

"Started off as a nightmare, ended in a dream."

"Ah. Also again, there's something I need to tell you. Barrcus has been taken." Merlin explains.

"Wait what?!"

"Yeah Uther came by as you remember, forced his way in fact after you left. And upon being unable to find Morgen or you, let's just say he took Barrcus instead. Mina's currently freaking out about it." Merlin tells him.

"He's being used as bait, to get Morgen to go back. We can't let her find out, not yet. She'd be reckless for one, and two I am not putting her back in that situation. I promised I wouldn't let him take her."

Merlin could definitely tell now, how much he really cares for her, "Alright you lovebird, so what are we going do we do to get him back?"

Death smirks under his mask, "If I could get Harker, I could get Barrcus."

"Right. Even still you can't go on your own. Uther's most likely going to be expecting that. After all, if Morgen doesn't show up, nine times out of ten it's gonna be you. Besides, when it comes to Morgen, I'm currently out of my league. But I know someone that Aspen knows who can help."

Death grabs his shoulders, "Get to the point."

"Anyway, the person in question can help Morgen. I think. He's a very strange person, very odd, to say the least."

"Like you?" Death asks sarcastically.

"Hey, I'm normal compared to him."

"Alright, can he be trusted?" Death inquires.

"As far as I'm concerned he boths hates Uther but also doesn't care. Aspen could explain better than I can in this situation, given the fact that they're uh sleeping together."

Death gets a weirded out look, "Ok that's too much to know."

"Better you hear from me than him. Cause that is guy is apologetically open and honest."

"Is he a demon by chance?" Death inquires.

"No, but some consider him to be a demon. The dude has like strange tattoos in some parts of his body."

Death cocks his head, "How strange are they?"

"Eh they look like runes of sort. Oddly enough though, they look straight from the Dream Realm."

"And you think this means he's familiar with the Dream Realm? Enough to help Morgen at least?" Death asks.

"Perhaps. We'll just have to see. Although be warned, he will ask VERY odd questions. He literally asked me one time about my sex life."

Death only laughs, "Let me guess he asked how much?"

"He overheard me and Aspen talking about it and wanted to know And I told him. He was both surprised and yet not surprised."

"Noted. Now should we get Morgen over to Aspen or not?" Death asks.

"Technically the dude can make house calls, we just have to tell Aspen we're borrowing him."

Death facepalms, "I'm going so feeling so awkward after this."

"Yep."

Death sighs then calls up Aspen. After getting the explanation she goes to a lone tree in her wood. One close to her residual tree in fact. Sleeping at its roots is a tall, shredded man with horns upon his head. Any at first glance may mistake him as a demon, but Aspen knew better. This was a Fomorian, at least that's what he looked like to her. He never corrected Aspen on that either, so she just continued to assume he was a Fomorian. Aspen came to his side and gently began to stroke his face, "Nergal?"

"Mmm....yes my dear?" Nergal inquires in soothing yet intimidating tone.

"A friend called me, said he requires your assistance with something. Although I don't know how he knew of you. I never mentioned our relationship to Death."

"Hmm, did you ask him to call Merlin?" Nergal asks.

"I didn't think to, although I thought I could hear the man snickering nearby when Death called."

"Well, if one of the Horseman is calling me I mustn't keep him waiting should I?" Nergal states before holding Aspen close for a moment, "When I get back, I would like to show you a very lovely evening."

"I'd be delighted, just don't rush things alright?" Aspen tells him before receiving a kiss.

Nergal then rips open a portal, swinging his hand in a slow chopping motion. Once done he waves to Aspen and smiles coyly at her before going through.

[trashboatprince]

(People asked me to post my analysis about Bendy Land being a reality in New York, and I’ve had this in my drafts since December so it’s very out of date, especially since the Employee Handbook sorta confirmed that it was in development before JDS went bankrupt. Everything bold is new information, everything without it is the old info I was working on at the time before I got annoyed with myself for making this post

Make of it what you will, I overthought stuff from one chapter of the freaking game. Enjoy.)

-- I was looking through the Bendy wiki for images for Joey’s apartment, just to see the contents of his cork board, when I really took notice to something.

There are tickets for Bendy Land pinned to the board.

Now, I was discussing this little theory/idea with my friend the other day, what if Bendy Land had actually been a reality, not just an idea that had been stopped in it’s tracks due to a lack of budget.

Under the cut is a bunch of ideas as to what would have been the causes for the park to go under if it were a reality in the world outside of the studio, and why it could have helped in Joey Drew Studios’ bankruptcy. 

Now, if Joey HAD the budget to make Bendy Land a reality, obviously it would have to be within an easy access drive to the studio. So it would be located in New York, or at least within a decent driving distance to Brooklyn, if that is where the studio is supposedly located (don’t quote me on that). Turns out it is in NYC so I have that going for me

Okay, that’s not too bad, right? Well, that would mean the park would have to be a seasonal amusement park, the cold weather wouldn’t do it any good and people don’t really want to go to a theme park during a New England winter. That’s not a problem, there are a lot of parks that operate during warmer months up in this region (Coney Island being a good example), but Joey will have to deal with the upkeep during the winter, and that’s not always cheap.

You gotta pay to keep the rides from being damaged by the weather and vandals, you gotta make sure you’re prepared to open when the operating season opens, usually in May (a lot of seasonal parks open around Memorial Day). Could Joey afford this? Possibly, if he cares enough to deal with such a big oversight.

Then you have to consider sponsors, they help to pay for A LOT of content and material in parks. Disneyland was practically built on the money it got from all the sponsors that signed up with the parks. That means Joey would probably get money from Briar Label and GENT, which would make sense as to why there are official Bendy posters that show the sponsorship and why we see the brands all over the studio.

It’s possible that a lot of the money for the studio in general came from these companies. And I was right

And, of course, whatever Bertrum contributed.

After all, this was his magnum opus project! He was going to build one hell of a park!

Now we have a problem with this.

Bertrum says in his tape before you fight him that it was to be the largest park ever built. Hoo boy, there’s a big load of problems with that. 

A seasonal park that’s deemed to be that impressively large is going to fail, big time. There is no way that a park only open for a short time (usually from May to October) will not have the budget to keep running for the next season that well.

From what we see of Bertrum’s ideas, both drawn and being worked on, this project was MASSIVE. The park is huge in size from what we see with the model and designs. It looks like it would have had a large number of rides, attractions, ect. It even has it’s own railway, with actual trains!

Look, I’ve been to so many theme parks in my life, 95% of them ARE seasonal and none had full-on train engines that big. Those are practically real engines, not the small ones you normally see at amusement parks. 

There is obviously a lot of work and money put into this, and I can see why Grant went off the deep end from trying to crunch the numbers.

From Bertrum’s second tape, it clearly sounds like the park had actually been built (though in-game it appears to still be in construction), so from what we’ve seen in Storage 9 shows just a sample of what the real-world park had to offer. And judging by the giant Bendy arm in the room with the Butcher Gang... there was a lot going on.

I think the park may have ran well in its first year or two, but Joey’s spending and lack of budgeting clearly had an impact on the life of the park, and the studio.

Disneyland did well, even after the disastrous first day, because it was clearly built to adapt to new changes, it had so many sponsors and backing, and it was built in California, where it’s got way better weather to allow it to stay open all year around.

Bendy Land may have been built in a good area for just warm months in New York, but clearly from what we’ve seen with the actual Bendy cartoons, the park was probably not built to adapt to changing eras. Bendy in the cartoons is still straight up stuck in 1929 with animation. At the point of time that I assume Bendy Land would have started construction (1935-1945, a time when amusement parks were beginning to see a boom, especially AFTER the war when families were spending more time together for vacations), it was rare to find cartoons still being done in black and white, most animations studios had already shifted into using color to keep up with the competition.

But this is Joey we’re talking about, the man clearly liked to think big, but only with what he could work with. 

And now we’re gonna talk in bold cause that’s where I stopped.

So basically, the book pretty much states that the studio went bankrupt and Joey’s projects came to a halt, but this post is still about the reality of if Bendy Land became a real thing, so let’s stick with that mindset.

I feel like Joey would waste too much of the money the studio was making on the park, on trying to keep it running and functioning during the months it’s open. Clearly, this will cause issues for the studio itself.

Budgets would be slashed something awful, you’re practically working for next to nothing cause your paycheck is going into making sure some kid can get a Bendy toy from a carny.

And would Bendy still be popular? Would he and his friends still have an impact on the people? 

During WWII, if you didn’t do propaganda cartoons for the US, you were S.O.L. for your studio to stay afloat. A lot of studios who were doing decently at the time suffered for not ‘doing their patriotic duty’, which wasn’t their faults, they weren’t getting the money or viewership. Didn’t help that a lot of staff members were deployed.

Obviously the novel shows that the studio stuck around for a while, maybe they made some shorts, or Joey bribed to have Bendy cartoons play alongside Private Snafu shorts or Donald Duck episodes. I’m getting distracted, but still, the studio somehow stuck around so Bendy would still be known.

But let’s also take into account that a lot of studios have had parks themed on characters before. Hanna-Barbara has had a number of parks based on the Flintstones (that all failed), Japan has had parks based on their own characters, and English book characters, that all failed or aren’t as popular as Disney yet still kinda draw in crowds.

Bendy Land would probably last for about five or so years, give or take.

Seasonal parks are a risky move, you have to constantly make sure they are taken care of during the down seasons. You have to be able to attract big enough crowds each open season that bring in just enough money to keep going. You have to keep in good contract with sponsors or else you will lose money.

You have to have rides that people want to ride, you have to keep safety up, you have to pay your employees and give them decent privileges/bonuses/money that will want them to keep working there (Joey clearly wasn’t allowing that, according to footnotes from the handbook).

Also, you HAVE TO PAY THE CONSTRUCTION PEOPLE. Joey wasn’t really doing a great job with that either!

This park, if it had been finished, would have been the kick to the crotch during Joey’s downfall. Maybe he dodged a bullet with his studio going under, because it probably didn’t cost him as much as it would have if his theme park died on him (he could make back money by selling it/the rides, but that’s a whole other issue cause a lot of times... parks are straight up left to rot when no one wants them or their rides. Looking at you, Hard Rock Park in Myrtle Beach, SC. You were a sad sight to see for a while when driving past to go to the boardwalk)

But yeah, this was just me rambling, like, this was just a huge thing about the idea of Bendy Land being a reality and how it really wouldn’t have been a huge success if it had been finished. Poor Bertrum, that would have been a huge pain in the ego.

Aaaaaannnnddd... that’s all I’ve got. I can’t think of anything else right now, but I’m very sure there’s more.

Anyway, thanks for listening to a guy with too much time to think about a fictional amusement park cause he spends too much time watching theme park history videos on youtube and overthinks about Bendy.

[artgirllullaby]

The truth below this... “me”

So another year huh? And all I did was… mostly be absent.

Come on, I think by this point every single one out there who follow me noticed, either you’re close, far, if you follow for my work, fanfics, or whatever, you saw that last year I did pretty much… nothing.

That comes partially from procrastination, I won’t lie, but… There’s a whole lot that was happening that I kept out to very few, and when I say this I mean that even my parents, brothers and best friends didn’t know some stuff. Only recently I got better to get in contact and talk it out to them and say all the good and the horrible that had been on my mind.

And while I know most want to share the good that happened in 2018, I need to say it wasn’t that good year for me, and to get it out, I want to say it all out and be honest. Then I know there’s nothing I need to hide or be scared of sharing because… if there’s to be known, it’s just to click to read.

That’s why I’m writing this. And because of of the stuff here is very sensible and can be triggering to some, I’m putting on the below. So… avoid the triggers by reading the tags if you have any of them, and if you do but still wish to know how I am, feel free to contact me, ok? I assure things are better now, but if you need a bit more of ease, I don’t mind doing so.

If you decide not to read, just know It’s been a very hard thing on me, but I’m getting better and I’m taking care and getting help and trying my best to keep my hopes and myself up. I’m thankful you cared to read this and I understand if you can’t read any further because of the tags. Thank for considering yourself too and not taking a hit “for my sake”, it makes me actually happy that you consider putting yourself in the position to know where your limits are and to know you can’t go further. Proud of you, little one. If you feel like, don’t think twice before hitting my ask or inbox, ok? Hugs, thanks for being here still.

#personal #me #lullytalks #venting #anxiety #depression #stress #mentalinstability #TW #twseflharming #twsuicide #twanxiety #twdepression #twstress #twgad #twdd #triggering #Triggerwarning

For you who decided to click the button to continue reading anyway, Please remember I’m writing this at once and also that you’re free to stop at any signals of discomfort, unease or triggers. Thank you for taking time to read this anyways.

2018 had been many things, it had been fun and tiring and stressful, and even enjoyable for a bit. But as many other stuff in life, when silence keeps to long it can be taken as a bad omen to bad happenings.

If you ever played Jenga, then you know how it works; if you don’t, it’s basically taking a piece on the base and putting on top and hoping that it doesn’t break down in your turn. Which in the game is fun because you have to think over your decision to what piece to move and not move the tower and the pressure you have makes it fun… In real life? makes you wonder “why one takes the weight in the base of a structure to move to the top if that overweights the top which will obviously make the project/structure fail because the base cannot hold that weight and so it will go down eventually?!”

And well, that was my in 2018, a whole big game of Jenga in which my life are the pieces, and people around me are players as me and the game is ok to everyone but me.

Some of you know, I had a co-worker who had been basically unbearable to work with from the moment she found herself pregnant, and by the law the company can’t fire her until her baby is born and a bit older (around 6-7 months older she gets the licensed and secured), and so after her time secured was over the company did fire her because of her behaviour borderline toxic/abusive toward others. Things finally where getting a bit better with the substitute and things going better in company.

I had been having difficulties with my mother, who has becoming more controlling and hovering over me. If wasn’t enough our communication that was bad begins to go to ruin to worse, rotting to the point I’m back to when I was 15 and I saw her as a stranger. I try to change and get closer. Here is the funny thing about relationships, if doesn’t matter if it’s a friend, a lover, your soulmate, your husband, your sister, your parent, your cousin, your godmother, your father-in-law or whatever that person means to you, as an universal law, it takes both parts and effort to make it work and flow.

And there I was, trying to arrange something we do, we try to speak, to voice out things that hurt and annoys me for us to change for better, because that’s how it should work. One speaks, the other listen, then it’s their turn and so after both saying their sides they try to come in a middle term or a point they can agree on to live better and no one is bitter over the matter.

But that was not what happens. Mom takes the cards I lay on the table and use against me, she takes things on the past against me, she flips the table and now she’s being accused and she’s the victim and I’m the one who’s blind to see how hard she tries to make us all happy and ungrateful, on how I keep pulling distance and I stop talking and avoid talking. I’m the one who doesn’t know she gave up her college, to work and make an career on her own, that father comes tired and deserves to rest for working hard everyday to never miss anything at home, and that she has to bare my sister OCD and ADHD while I’m not there, that she has to keep the house well and do everything… And so, yet again, my voice is cut. I lose courage, my anxiety rises, and I’m afraid of saying anything to anyone, I’m afraid to be a burden, to bother anyone.

I laid on bed that night in silence as I stare at the blank wall and listen to whatever music is on my playlist. Because I know, I fucking know how much their lives could be different for a number of factors, one of them being the fact if I wasn’t born on the worst timing as I did, I know in numbers how much that could have changed, even if my father makes sure to assure me it’s nothing he regrets or I did wrong, I know it wasn’t planned and I know too, it could have changed everything.

Piece moved by mother, my turn is skipped. The player can’t play with shaking hands.

The temporary at work was dismissed, not because someone was finally contracted, but because the boss thought we could do without it. Now, how a company survive without it finances department? Yep, it doesn’t. So they pick someone they think they can reply on to do the job, and then guess what? There I am. Working with numbers and money and it’s stressing more and more since I really didn’t applied for this and it does make me nervous. Then I find a list of mistakes the temporary left and I have to fix, plus more work… and meanwhile I am doing that, my own work papers are there waiting in my table just piling up to the moment I finish up and go do them. Which makes me more stressed, because as long I take to do them, the rest of office needs to wait to keep the workflow. So there I am, working for two, being paid for one, getting some extra hours, and getting exhausted.

My boss moves another piece.

Therapist notice I’m getting more stressed, and things had been getting me easier and some triggers are getting back. I’m getting more and more unstable. She makes some tests and takes another look on my whole history with her on the last 2 years, she also takes a look on my medication and notice there was a change for a higher dose, and now it’s twice a day. She’s worried, she tell my parents to show up and talks to my father (cause mother didn’t show up - a piece of my Jenga went missing), only after a few more sessions she gives me a diagnosis: GAD, aka Generalized Anxiety Disorder.

I’m not progressing in my treatment, in fact, with everything going on with me, I got worse and instead of moving to eventually not need therapy, I need the sessions now more than ever.

My mind moves a base piece, the tower balance a bit.

Things continue going on, everyday begins to be harder and I find myself more tired. Sometimes I get home from work and just take a bath and sleep. I’m missing my appetite, I’m slowly cutting ties with friends and stop talking to them or most of them and taking distance without anyone noticing. I hardly access social media for exceptional to check a thing around here or there. I begin to get anxiety when I try to write once again and begin to be ashamed on myself and my cycle of self-punishment for not being able to write any longer or often, nor I have courage to say anyone besides the therapist all that’s going on.

Even so I try to make an apology and explain at least the part that because I’m working by two and being too stressed and tried is sadly taking out on my creativity, many agree and support and decide to give me the space am I thankful for… Still the two people I considered dearly as readers hurt deeply as I come to known their true meaning. That they already disliked the story on the point it is, that I should have just put as finished and given up and stop writing, and then suddenly other people who I didn’t even know begin to say things on the back and… I just wonder what happened to the respect and honesty I had asked from the beginning. To see so much hate suddenly going out of nowhere was surely discouraging, and on the state I was, I was not only discouraged as I was intimidated to even think on continuing.

Next thing I know is that just as my originals, I am unable to open any of my fanfictions and work on them. I shake, I break down on tears, I get too nervous, I’m unable to concentrate, I begin to question if they were right and if everyone else was just sorry of pitying on me or if they just played along. Then all the files stay in there with the originals, blocked in my unstable mind unable to product anything worthy.

Unknown people move some pieces, the tower shakes.

...

A week can be such a long period of time for some things, and a short for another and sometimes, for the very same reasons. To be fair I still don’t know to say if was a quick or a slow week since there are blanks in my memory and I just have the impact ones. But one thing I can tell for sure, it was a hell of a week.

Monday begins with my mother waking me up and hurrying up to get ready, she still doesn't notice that I’m not well. I try my best to get ready fast as I can, I take my purse to get in the car and get a ride to go to therapy and then go work. I open the door, she already took the car out and look at me; I just have to climb and it will be fine.

She look to me, than take a turn and accelerates the car, so there’s no time for me to catch up. And I am left there with my hand on the door looking on the empty place where I could have climbed the car just by few seconds, but she couldn’t wait because her class was more important than my therapy session. Because her appointment was more important than me in that moment there.

Another piece goes missing.

I’m taken by such sudden sadness and hurt that I wasn’t able to stand or breathe, I stay in the couch for a bit, my sister offer to take me to the therapist in her way to college, I just shake my head. I find out I got no voice, not even strength to talk or even look at her, but she shrugs and go. I somehow make to the bed and lay in there, sleeping. It’s the first time in 3 years I miss a day of work - I didn’t miss even when got sick -, I don’t talk to anyone, I don’t eat, I don’t have water, I don’t go out the bed, I just stay in there and sleep or stare at the blank wall trying to understand what is the feeling inside me. My therapist text me and I lie saying I had a problem, but will show up later in the week.

The next event is after I am able to speak better again, which I’m not sure if was next afternoon or two days. I walk into my therapist office and then find out my health insurance decided to cut the therapy sessions I still had, they want the word of any other doctor saying I do need the therapy and I need to do that in every 3 months or they won’t allow me to continue my treatment. I try to argue with them and reason that I wouldn’t be going if wasn’t necessary, still they say it’s a new rule to everyone so no exceptions. I can’t go to therapy, nor my therapist can treat me out her office, to pay each session it’s out my reach and I already pay for health insurance that should and does cover my treatment, so these rules make absolutely no sense… All I know is that I need my other endocrinologist to give me permission to get treatment, even if there’s nothing to do with her, and the appointment I have is a month away.

Health takes a piece. The tower starts shifting.

I make a huge mistake at work. Because my head isn’t in place I misunderstand the information I am given and end up messing up part of the payment I needed to do. I paid the wrong provider, the other one who does need the payment is stuck and now the central need to find a way to locate the other guy because until the right provider gets the payment he are getting behind track. I get stuck the whole day stuck between fixing my mistake, calming the provider and having to listen silently my boss calling me angrily for a solution.

Work moves a piece. The tower is barely standing.

It takes the next day to put my paperwork in order. the problem of paying the wrong provider still on going, but seems on a way to solution, so I could take a bit of time to focus on getting the work flowing and laughing in a way to avoiding to cry.

Last day of the week, so I can take a bit of rest, I just need hang in there a little bit. Just a few more hours and I could be home so another piece could go missing.

As we get home, my mother gets out. She starts arguing with me and father, ordering we don’t even leave the car, cause my sister needs assistance. I immediately think of the worst as she just is learning to drive and than my father replies it’s not that big deal the car failed her. I am between angry and confused, angry for worrying for a minute that it was something dangerous, confused to why my mother is making such a fuss over the car simply failing on my sister trying to turn it on and making such a fuss on having my father go there.

Things begin to scalates as she raises her voice and begins to argue with him and she tries to calm her, only making her angrier and then threatening to make a scandal and break the car window if he didn’t go. And then changing her mind to do it if he didn’t get out and let her go alone and get out the car.

Neighbors were already starting to look, I was the only in home by them aside the two, tired, getting triggered by all the stress and situation, anxious and then… something snapped.

The tower fell down as I touched to move a piece.

Somehow I took my mother hand and said determined enough for her to get in the car that they both should go. That I wanted them out the house, out of my reach and out the house. She listened by some miracle and I got inside breaking down right after before blanking out.

August 13rd, 2018. I probably won’t ever forget this date. It was a friday, I can remember clearly because it I just had laughed on the irony that it was a friday 13rd and it was being so bad on me at work. It was night and the dog was around me as if he sensed something was wrong… or he just wanted to go for a walk.

Things are blank, as if for the moment I broke down I wasn’t really there, like wasn’t me in my body, or taking control, or too shocked and overwhelmed to notice anything and just let it move and do whatever my brain decided it was best to.

Now that I used Jenga example I find it as a perfect example to explain that blank moment. It’s the moment a player found themselves holding or just after placing the piece and everything comes tumbling down, there’s a paralyzing moment that everyone around stay still in shock watching the tower fall in a mix of wonder and confusion to move only after all the pieces stopped to fall, then you and others try to evaluate how it failed the strategy before picking the pieces around to put the Jenga together again for another round.

That was that blank moment, the moment of wonder and confusion, of complete loss in which I lose myself and the control to the point I don’t even remember how things happened exactly.

All I know is that suddenly I had a knife on my hand and was standing on my kitchen and looking on my other arm.

;

I took one breath, I had went to the kitchen and started to something to relief myself. I took a second breath, I decided to hurt myself because the punishment of all my wrongs seemed like a way to relief back then. I took a third breath, I was just about to cut myself; I don’t know if would be a deep cut on my wrist, arms, lightly or whatever, but definitely wasn’t a good thing that I was up to take hurting myself to that point, and worse, to have no idea on how far I would have gone if I just suddenly get back into my senses in that seconds. I took another breath, I put the knife back in the drawer and close it.

I start to cry again, but for another reason.

Because it had been 10 years. Ten fucking years I had celebrated and considered successful just to find it this demon back again on me. I’m not just depressed and anxious as I thought. I’m back to when I was 15, in this very same kitchen when I sat in the table with a knife on a hand and a bunch of mixed medicines on the other side as I watched the clock and decided when I would put the end.

I’m suicidal again.

;

It’s enough, and I’m done. I just… couldn’t. I put myself on bed, in a way of self-grounding, I decide I will not leave the bed for the next days or talk to anyone unless necessary. And I did well, because I seriously had no idea what I would be able to do if I left that bed in the state I was.

Only in the third day I speak to my closest friends about it all and get some relief, I listen to music to try keep my heart from failing me. I am unable to be back on me again for months, I get back on therapy. I get diagnosis that my depression got in the stage of Deep Depression and at this point, my therapist alone isn’t able to do much alone. I’m somewhere between trying to recover and accepting things are just as they are. She recommends me to get assistance in a group with my family and send to my father, I decide to give a try even if not giving much hope.

My father doesn’t receive the message. Therapist mistook for my mother number and sent to her, my mother dismiss the message and says it’s no big deal and I should not mind about it. I feel hurt she dismissed so easily without talking or even looking up to it, but on the other side I’m also accepting the fact she doesn’t take me as her daughter anymore. And little by little I realize that’s not just something from my mind, as she doesn’t talk that much with me, but with a friend she has with my age and often tries and offer help to her, and then there’s me there. I set in my mind I need to leave home so she can take the daughter she wants to adopt in, and because I need my own air.

My father realizes I’m not well and that my relationship with mother is going from bad to worse to even breaking. He tries to help, my therapist call her in once again to try warn her and tell her. She avoids and miss the meet ups just like a thief runs from the police, and I decide that if she’s not even trying at all, then I won’t either.

My medicine changes to twice a day, I’m still bad, but with therapy back I’m getting a bit better by the days. I decide to travel alone in my vacation to somewhere new and where I know no one and no one knows me.

So I find myself in Curitiba in December.

The city is pretty and with gentle people with smiles and colors around, or so I’ve seen. Maybe it was the feeling that I had space for myself, that I could take a breath and not worry about it. Which also led myself to taking a walk in the grass.

Bad things happened still, true, but to be sincerely? The worst has passed for now, other still to come and, it’s ok in a way. I’ll fall down and cry and be on the ground for a while as I need, and then take my time to recover and look up and be able to talk about too.

So it may had been I took a blind eye to the world and to the rest of you, but the truth is that I don’t. But it’s hard to discuss when there’s too much pain and hurt inside you. and as much it was egoist of me to focus on myself and turn my back to the world, sometimes is necessary. and I learned that now, sometimes it is necessary to be egoist in reason to get better and it’s ok, as long you do get better and know where are your principles.

Taking the trip made me realize that. It also make me realize that taking a time away for yourself, taking a bit to breathe is ok. That my absence in order to not hurt anyone else might have been a void, but was a void necessary for me. I needed to relearn that taking a time to walk on the grass, to look in the sky, take a breath, to look around and take a moment in life… to do any of that wouldn’t destroy the world or anyone else.

The world wouldn’t end because I needed a break. No one would die because I wasn’t able to finish or accomplish something as I wish, just as no one died so far. the one one who has been dying with all this it had been me, killing myself slowly inside out.

Now I do realize that. I’m still far from recovering, I do realize that and know very well, I still have depression episodes and anxiety attacks often, I’m still on a long way to say I’m alright. Maybe I’m never gonna be 100% fine or sane per say, maybe some part of me will always have anxiety and depression because of my brain or whatever but… I hope in that in my lowest moments I am able to look at this moment where Lullaby wrote this about the real me and I can remember to step down a bit.

I’m 25 now, I celebrated 10 years over giving up on suicide when I was 15, and after that… even if I still have suicidal traces for now and dealing with them, and even if I had a recent episode… I guess I can celebrate and count over again, so in ten year I can celebrate 2 times, right? This may be stupid and sound optimist but really… It’s just me trying to take the needle of good in the pile of garbage this all had been. Doesn’t erase the garbage and all it had been, just... trying to desperately find a little thing useful so I can say it wasn’t all Hell and throw it away like I did with my teenage years.

So this is it. I was absent and I’m recovering, right now I’m trying to get on track of writing and reading again. I am 25, diagnosed with Deep Depression, GAD, I have to take medicine to keep in control. I have to change jobs and hope to do soon. I try as much to listen and comfort everyone and make laughs because the last I want if to anyone else to feel the way I do.

And with that being said, I can breathe out and finally put the last year as it is: the past.

As I always say, let’s prepare for the bad and always hope for the best, and onwards to 2019. :)

[aimlessfool]

Rot Part 12/?

Previous - Next

After a long trip down the river, and many jumps across the rooftops later where they had held hands, looked out for each other, they finally slipped into the Tower through the windows, Daud bleeding too much to make it possible for them to take the door, like they should've. But it didn't matter, nobody would raise an eyebrow at them suddenly being home like this anyway.

They finally released the grip of each other's hand, Corvo's slipping slowly out of Daud's as the man loosened up his grip. Daud swallowed hard to keep himself from drooling blood, the man sighing heavily. They found their way out of the spy's quarters, and back to Corvo's offices, Corvo needing to leave Daud to go and talk to Emily, before she would go to sleep. He undressed quickly, changing his clothes after a wash, not even minding that Daud was sitting on the couch, watching the flames he started burn. The black stain on the towel was a grim reminder, once Corvo glanced to it while he fixed his hair... He looked to Daud for a little second, then.. He casually threw the Towel to Daud, who reacted swiftly, catching it midair... Then just... Stared at it.

"Clean yourself up. You've stopped bleeding now, right?"

Daud didn't say anything, but did as he was told. He even wiped off the stains on his boots at the end, and casually threw the towel into the fire, watching how it burned. ... For a very good while.

When Corvo came back after an hour or so, Daud still sat there, unmoving. At least he was clean, the sludge no longer outlining his frown wrinkles. Corvo sighed, having no idea what caused him to do all this, but... He slowly approached, seeing Daud react and just... Not mind Corvo's approach, so Corvo settled beside him in the couch, finding it sort of comfortable as it was nice and warm there. He reached out to Daud, to hug around him again, but this time his arm was grabbed instead, and his body was pinned down into the couch. Wide, yet confused eyes met Corvo's rather annoyed ones, and he only stared at them, Daud's expression telling him a lot about his current state of mind. He hovered over Corvo, face only centimetres away from the others.

"... Daud." Corvo sighed deeply, just letting Daud pin him down until he calmed down.

Daud's breath hitched, his expression only twisting into something akin to realisation, and pain. Corvo didn't want to say anything more, so he just tried to reach for him again, hands cupping his face. Daud took one of Corvo's hands in his own and moved it away, his expression softening slightly as he stopped pinning Corvo, and let him sit up.

"Sorry about that." Daud muttered.

"Lost in thought...?" The only reply Corvo got was a nod.

"... Hrm. Come here."

Daud looked to him for a moment, sort of confused to what he meant. Soon he found a hand on his head, and being pulled to rest against Corvo's head.

"... I'm-"

"You're not fine, Daud. Relax, and let yourself mourn." About to protest, about to shove Corvo away from him, Daud's hands just wouldn't listen to him. He knew Corvo was right, yet he fought against it, not wanting to let this get better. He shouldn't. Corvo shouldn't allow it. He should be-...

"... Weren't a part of this whole thing that I suffer?"

"For what you did to Jessamine and Emily, yes. Not this..." Corvo took a deep breath, glad Daud had left his equipment in his crate. "You killed men you considered your children, Daud. That is not something you can let fester. It'll drive you mad."

Oh- Corvo crossed a line he never should had with those words. The hand on his chest tightened, Daud's head rising, but all of suddenly he just... Lost all will to fight. His anger melted away. Corvo was right. He knew this, deep down... So the fingers clutching Corvo's shirt relaxed, and the man... He actually wrapped his arms completely around Corvo. He said nothing, his face hiding in the others shoulder. Corvo allowed it, and found himself hugging around Daud, first now smelling the alcohol on him. Sighing, he hoped he would sober up soon.

Though, he most likely would, as the spy in his arms fell asleep, oddly enough. The same did the Lord Protector after some resignation to the situation, as he didn't want Daud to lose his sleep.

The next morning they woke up, Corvo finding Daud still fast asleep on his chest, as it seemed Corvo had slipped to the side due to Daud's weight. It hurt a bit to have Daud's arms under him, but it wasn't something that really bothered him by now. But Daud's arms... They had to be numb. So Corvo patted the other's cheek a bit, getting him awake, and quickly too, for Daud only moved his head up, looking to him. "..." His eyes widened, and he quickly got up, proving that his arms were in fact, not numb.

They separated, and went back to their work.

Mere weeks later they found themselves able to look at the other again, as Daud was there to do so. His work had taken him up north again, now looking for more answers considering the bonecharm. He got a bit more information, but needed to go back to Dunwall to report his findings to Corvo. And take a few days to rest. Corvo was pacing by the time Daud walked into the room, seeing the Lord Protector a complete mess. He was stressed out, tired... Everything. There was even a glass of Whiskey with a a nearly full bottle beside it, and a cigar in between his fingers.

"Daud..." Corvo stopped, looking to him as if he was looking at a ghost.

"... You... Welcome back."

A bit of silence followed from the spy, who only frowned deeply after a nod as a thank you. The papers in his hand were put back in his chest pocket, Corvo looking confused over him.

"No- give me the report." Corvo said, putting his cigar away.

"You need to relax, Corvo."

"... Heh- says the workaholic." The man got a weak smile, not having expected Daud to tell him to relax.

"Shut up." Daud actually got a very weak smile himself. He then crossed his arms, staring at Corvo in an attempt to stare him down. Corvo eventually resigned and sat down onto his desk, grabbing his glass. "Then keep me company."

"Alright."

Daud sat as he usually would, and took Corvo's glass from him, downing the whiskey left in it. Corvo only frowned, but said nothing, and fetched himself a new glass from his desk, pouring some alcohol both for him and Daud. They sat drinking in silence for a little while, Corvo eventually relaxing, not hearing his heartbeat in his ears anymore.

"... How is the health, Daud?"

"... As good as it can get. I've been following orders." He took a sip. "What about you?"

"Me? Just fine. Emily had a cold, but... We got over it."

"Good." Daud got another sort of smile, Corvo now noticing while watching him that he actually weren't paler than snow anymore. He had a bit of colour in his face, and it honestly surprised the man a bit.

Corvo kept drinking, however, until the alcohol made him grow a bit drowsy, and wobbly. Then it was time to stop, so he drank the last of the alcohol, and put the bottle away. Daud didn't' mind, he still had a few sips left, though, and he himself were getting tipsy, so he knew it was time to stop. He wasn't the type to let himself get drunk. Corvo laid back and relaxed in his chair, stretching his arms in the progress, trying to get back some vigour. He succeeded, making a bit of a humming sound as he sat more back. Then, he was offered that cigar he was smoking, an offer he accepted, Daud lighting it again for him. And when he did, Corvo all of suddenly dragged Daud to him by his shirt, making him spill the remainder of his Whiskey on his shirt.

"Now give me the damn report."

"... Hm, no." Daud said with a light tone in his voice, teasing the Lord Protector. "Tomorrow. You're drunk."

"I'm not..."

"Yeah."

"... Shut up." Corvo dragged Daud closer while he held him down like this. It didn't hurt Daud's back, and he took this as a challenge more than anything else.

"... You shouldn't be gone so long." Corvo muttered.

"Why?" Daud raised an eyebrow, starting to realise that being as close as they were ws not a good idea, the man a bit slow due to the alcohol, and his general fatigue from being on the move for two weeks.

"It's been empty without you." The words sounded genuine, the spy frowning a bit at them.

"Though seems you are better. Though... ... Daud..." Corvo's initial expression changed, the man starting to look sort of surprised. As he stared deeply into Daud's eyes, a his free hand cupping the man's face to keep him there, which he oddly enough did. Looking confused, Daud just tilted his head ever so slightly.

"You right eye... The iris, it has a black stripe in it."

"... Shit..." Daud looked like he was caught when Corvo saw this, and just looked away from Corvo's eyes, trying to move away, but Corvo wouldn't let him. Then he just.. Gave up resisting. "I have a blind spot. I just... Didn't think it was that, maybe just having looked into the sun..."

Corvo sighed deeply... Very much so... "... Damn that fucking bonecharm." He said, a bit of an annoyed smirk on his face after a little while. Daud got one as well, Corvo's mood was infectious. Corvo ended up looking at Daud's eye again, the whole situation starting to feel very intimate, especially when Corvo moved the hand from the apy's chest, and to his face instead, to study him, it seemed... Or just... Who the fuck knew at this point, Corvo didn't, and he didn't care. Daud only found himself lost like this. Never having been in something like this, he didn't really know to handle it, and was too slow to figure it out. Still he tried. And failed.

A hand moved from Daud's face to the back of his head. He let him, sighing as he closed his eyes, a sign of trust him from. Corvo bit his own lip at that sight, and moved Daud's head closer to his own. Opening his eyes just in time, Daud tilted his head ever so slightly to the side, angling them better. Lips met each other, lingering against each other without much movement, before both of them reacted, getting over the first moments of this whole thing. The kiss was slow, lips parting ever so slightly in the kiss as they pulled back from the very short kiss, both men redder than any of them would admit later. Just looking at each other made them kiss again. This time it went a bit quicker, picking up in intensity too, due to how they both were learning as they went on. Corvo sighed in the kiss eventually, his hands not moving, and instead found Daud's on his face, the hands cold, but they were his, so it was fine. When they parted again, it was only for breath. They clashed together again, after Daud stroked a thumb against Corvo's halfly parted lips.

It felt like the world just paused for both of them, as their lips moved against each other, Corvo getting eager, so he let a stray lick against Daud's lips get his attention. An exhale followed from Daud, then a sharp inhale as he returned the gesture, Corvo the one opening his mouth to let Daud in. And they met halfway like they always did, but they found themselves moving more into it both of them, the taste of whiskey mixing between them, none of them caring at all, though. Corvo's breathing quickly picked up along with his heartbeat, and he felt Daud's heartbeat through his skin, and felt how he warmed up as well, his cheeks especially.

Daud eventually had to move back, leaving lingering kisses on Corvo's lips, Corvo only exhailing when he did, taking a sharp inhale when the last kiss was placed and his hands became empty.

Standing up straight, Daud stretched his back, to the point a crack could be heard. Then he just looked a bit humbly to his couch, sighing. "I'd better go to bed."

"Yeah..." Corvo muttered, and stood up as well, standing close to Daud still, and let their fingers graze against each other, before a frown got to his face, and he furrowed his brows deeply, and he grabbed Daud's shirt, pulling him into another kiss, that went right back to how it first was, Daud honestly not too sure sure why he didn't push Corvo off. Instead he cupped Daud's head in his hand, keeping him there.

Corvo pulled back after a little while, though, a breathy sigh escaping him, their noses stroking against each other as they were just lingering close, the temptation to kiss each other again very, very strong.

"... Same... I want that report on my desk _tomorrow_." Corvo chuckled, his playful smirk infectious like nothing else.

Daud chuckled as well, a genuine chuckle, moving a bit away, his smile wider than it had been before. "... Of course. Goodnight."

Corvo smiled too and pecked him goodnight, and Daud was then out of his reach, ending up undressing slightly to just a lose shirt and pants, and getting into the couch, after hitting his leg on it due to the alcohol.

Looking to his bed, Corvo dragged himself there, and ended up in it, fully clothed, which got a bit too warm for him at the moment, so he removed his shirt. With it off, he was quick to curl up, and fall asleep...

Daud fell asleep quickly too, oddly enough.

Corvo was the first to wake up, and found himself sitting up, smelling like whiskey. After a moment of getting up with a weak headache due to the alcohol, he slipped out of bed, cursing at himself for forgetting his boots. He found his way over to Daud in the couch, not really knowing why it was the first place he wanted to go, but let himself do so anyway, for it didn't really matter. He looked to the pocketwatch on top of his crate, around 4 am. Too early to be awake... For anyone. So...

Corvo slowly patted Daud's face, trying to do it as gentle as he could, despite his headache. Daud muttered something in his sleep, waking up as he swatted Corvo's hand away. And then was quick to open his eyes, fully awake. "... What!? ... Corvo?"

The Lord Protector scoffed cheerfully, and patted Daud's face again. "Move over. I need more sleep."

"You got your own bed..." Daud groaned, about to sit up, but Corvo stopped him by keeping him down. "Just move over."

"Hrmp... Let me out, then."

Chuckling, Corvo cupped the others cheek. "You got a headache too, huh?"

... Daud got it now, and scooted a bit, letting Corvo get some space as he slipped in, the two of them so fucking close, they could feel each others heartbeats. They didn't face each other for long, Daud moved a bit down, ending up facing Corvo's chest instead, and nuzzled a bit into it. To then, place a kiss there, a lingering one. Corvo shuddered, ending up hugging the spy close to him, a shaky breath escaping him. But nothing more happened, and they slept for a few hours together.

[rarhuk]

Damsel in distress?

A dead man has no hostage to give to fortune...

In my life, there were unspoken traditions, a set of standards that were gender based. The males were set on a path from birth of protecting and providing, the females were set in nurturing and maintaining stability for the next generations to come. Males held power, held wealth, held title and position in which would set a standard for a mated couple, within a mated couple’s union in which these balances of duty were achieved. The females provided a family the path in which oral, and unspoken traditions would be passed down, and therefore gave her mate and herself a taste of immortality,ensuring their continuation onward, in ill, or that of good. It was not questioned, it was the way of life, the typical life style commonality found throughout the nation. A mate and family, was the greatest blessing from the spirits that one of any rank could hope to achieve in their life time. There were of course exceptions to the general rule, great healers and menders, water binders, fire weavers, warriors, priests, prophets, head hunters, those of both genders that either lacked in, or exceeded all expectations of those unspoken rules to become beyond that of a commoner in goals. Those that became the old tales of legend, those that offered hope, and wisdom, defining who we were as an individual, and as a whole. Stories by fire light that spoke of salvation and redemption, those unattainable reaches to be captured within triumphant crescendo, that all could value regardless of status or worth, when times were tough.

I met a Sin’dorei man, marred by runes of demonic design. He had approached while I traversed the elven city during my off duty allotted time frame. He asked many questions of myself, the typical cordial inquiries. He was not as interested in what words I had to exchange than that of speaking of himself, the cordial seeming etiquette had been only a ruse as it is said to get a foot in the door. I have difficulties with emotions, the expressions, the motivations that go unspoken behind a mask, yet I can taste a lie. I can hear it within the coursing blood through living veins, smell it upon the quickened breath, see it in the adverting of gaze, see the sweat glistening upon the surface of the skin. I can taste a lie. On a verbal level, his words sounded as anyone that living being that is.... lonely, or bored. His expressions seemed earnest, he did not sweat, nor advert gaze, yet caution I used directing the conversation in his mannerism to speak only of himself as that seemed the interest. The lie was there but my mind questioned as to what it was that continued not to part his lips into words. I could feel it there as I watched his tongue worm about his mouth, as if it was serpent waiting patiently to ambush. For some time it did not occur to me that lie that remained hidden under a pulsing beat was not a lie but something else entirely that I had not considered. Here I was awaiting for some offer to buy cheap land, or slew of raptors at a too reasonable price.

I need help... please. Please, would you help me? Was all the man by this time I knew under a nickname of Kel, had asked of me.

Deceit can come in many forms that I am aware. However, this was unusual for me to try to decipher. I have had many, become, as this state, if there is an attraction towards myself, as it is not a social normality. Heart racing, breath quicken, attempts to hide the flush, and adverting gaze, sometimes they stare. Yet, I did not believe this was the lie of our interaction, I believed the individual was afraid to show any need that would bring attention to them. Although the words had become a tangled web, that I could not find the actual cause to single me out to approach me in such a manner. I found it entertaining as this may be a prospect to do a hit job, I am not a personal assassin. The longer my reflecting and introspecting thoughts wandered did the silence draw out between us, until it was broken by Kel.

Will you do it?

Of course I inquired about what I was expected to do. I did not expect to be asked to remove demonic runes from his person. However, the only solution I could think of at the time was to end his life, if that was what he was asking of me I had no qualms to do so. I am not a healer, or nurturer not in life, not now. I had always and will always be conformed into what was typical of my warrior rank. I clarified as much, and told him that I knew of another that may be able to purge the undesired corruption from his form. To hold patience, as it may take some days before I was contacted again. I had sent a letter to the priestess, informing her of what I was made aware of with this Sin’dorei’s affliction. Once contact was made, I explained further of what I knew.

I did this, of course not because of my own desire to help this man that reached out for one such as I to aid him. It was, because as I contemplated all that he had spoken, I believed she would want me to do so. I would rather draw out his suffering, I would rather he hide behind the cordial attitude than expose his hidden shame. The priestess would not approve of that, to keep company with those in discomfort. I have kept many things from her and others as to a part of the reason I keep company amongst the living as often in manner where there are many moving within the populace.

This individual held only my mild curiosity, as to why of all individuals in the city, he would come to me with this request. This curiosity was soon sated, and the conversation became... prattling. It solved nothing, nor did I care. He, himself elected to be bound to another individual a supposed master of the craft to become a tool. Kel speaking with spins on how I should be able to relate to my once tie to my own dark liege. The difference being, I did not have a choice in the matter. I held no desire to be ripped from my death to become a tool, whereas Kel’s greed for power caused him to seek out a taste beyond what is natural immortality. I do believe Kel, was attempting to find a sympathetic ear when he approached me in his desperation. He to his disappointment found none. His detailing of his acts under his owner did have my interest as they were most intriguing, yet with the same amount of mortal lust of power and self ambitious interest. He found me no matter what city I went to while I was awaiting the priestess’s response. He continued to speak in hushed tones, as if telling me a grave secret as if I have never encountered evil deeds, before as if in attempts to keep my intrigue on his condition. I finally broke down, just to have peace of silence on the topic to see a portion of these runes. Of course it was not of the kind I am accustom to seeing, yet I could recognize from that small exposed portion demonic influence. The surrounding tissue smelled of gangrene rot, festering fel boiling, I did not take a further breath around this Kel, as I did not trust my own urges not to be manipulated further.

Once the priestess Shayna had responded, she had done so in person. I had clarified about the condition, and that I would be present at all times if she was to be around this Kel, as I did not trust him. Introductions were made and so forth, she examined his condition and offered some treatment options. I was not concerned either way, both seemed pleased. I escorted Shayna some where that Kel would not be present. I spoke of my reservations, that this individual was altered not only in body, but in mind, that he did indeed wanted to be cured at this current time, but may in fact change his mind at a later date. She spoke at length to this individual when we did encounter him, he wished to speak outside the city limits as it was private matter. I held no outward objections as my presence was required to be there. I am aware of the dangers that would present a living individual, to take another outside viewing eyes can present many opportunity for an unsavory engagement, such as an ambush, or tactical advantage.

It was not to be so, he only wished to show his marked and sealed frame beyond what had been exposed to my view before. Again I held no objections, yet, Kel had asked repeatedly if I cared. She is a medical provider, I hold no care if she examined a patient. She examined him and spoke of not seeing a condition such as this before, but she may do some consultation with other healers for insight into the matter as to best treat this affliction. There were no wards, or charms of protection she could grant him at the time.  

It was some time later that I received word from Kel, he was in Uldum having believed he had a cure. He requested my presence and the priestess’s presence to aid him. I have been to Uldum, it was some time ago, if I recall correctly. Perhaps years, yet it seems but a moments breath away. I was uncomfortable in the position to guard the discovered artifacts and those on the team. While I was working for a expedition team whose focus was on archeology artifacts, through observation of the teams discoveries I learned much about the Tol’vir the slave race I formerly called Obsidian Destroyers, and the Aqir. I called the Aqir in my life time Qiraji, although, in my time amongst the Scourge, they were commonly referred to as Nerubian, a habit I hold to this day. I was not aware these stone sentinels of the north had a connection to those in the desert wastes until that point in time, they were simply an enslaved race to be used as fodder on the front lines. The artifacts I found fascinating, the history intriguing, yet, I did not care for the sun and sand, and the constant bickering of my charges. They were searching for something specific, with sour emotional moods that were unproductive. I worked with the company until their funding ceased. I was not given coin as I had been promised, the leader begged for my forgiveness in an emotional hysteria due to self inflicted fears of how I would respond. The individual offered me a token of gratitude instead, proclaiming that it’s worth was more than that of coin. Of course there was nothing to forgive I was not offended, nor did I hold a desire to remain in their company. I merely departed as my services were no longer required, nor funded.  It appeared to be nothing more than the paw of a small primate. A closer inspection showed that the hand has been dried by centuries of exposure to the sands. It was only when I departed the team, did the gifted item begin to curiously move and make sounds. I left it in the sands, uncertain if I had raised the appendage by proximity, or if some other sorcery was a foot. The disembodied hand followed me, therefore, I gave it a name as it seemed to hold an uncanny intelligence, That.  Yet, my past time in that place caused me to wonder currently, what did Titan technology, or assumed Aqir technology have to do with demonic runes. I was curious...

I arranged that Shayna would meet me in the location disclosed in the letter, to investigate it further on Kel’s request. She arrived a few moments after the appointed time, while I was speaking to Kel. He seemed interested on the hieroglyphs on a wall, they seemed to be speaking of a staff, and yet Kel was not relaying what I knew to be written correctly. I thought perhaps his interpretation was different than those of the company from long ago, and perhaps that was why they left empty handed. I also noticed he had robotic constructs patrolling the area while we spoke, I believe it was to ensure his safety as he had spoke often about what an important person he was that I had asked before as to why he had no physical guard to watch over him. He had merely explained he had other means of protection. I assumed this was it.

He and Shayna spoke at length, I merely observed. That had decided to make an appearance, in which Shayna voiced her delight towards seeing the being. I do believe she has a fondness for That, for every time she sees the disembodied hand her voice rises in pitch, and the hand responds with chitters and motions that indicate excitement. I hold no rule over this strangely enchanted thing. I have attempted to sell it. I have attempted to give it away, yet the hand always returns when it wills. I have merely accepted it’s on going presence and absence. Shayna began to speak of the techniques she had learned that may aid Kel relieve his affliction, that may sever the link from him and his master that it would take time. Kel believed light had an influence to null the corruption that here in the chamber of the stars there may be a way to undo what had been done to him. They began discussing it at length, I cared not for the conversation only that it seemed to have no correlation to what ailed Kel. He spoke of being in constant pain and discomfort, that the tools here may amplify what Shayna skills attended him with ten fold.

It grew dull, as if awaiting for anything beyond just idle words to occur. When Kel spoke of one of his robotic sentinels having not returned, and his request for me to see to it, I at first spoke of having no knowledge of these devices that perhaps That could see to it. The hand of course responded with a rude gesture before scurrying off, it was left to me to retrieve the device. I believed patrolling the area was beneath me, as it was my duty to protect the priestess. Yet, Shayna and Kel spoke of needing my absence when dealing with the light that this would be a good opportunity for me to depart, I was handed a communication device to keep in contact. I did not trust the individual to be alone with Shayna for even the shortest expanse of time. He had done nothing to cause an indication that he was a threat, he was weakened by his condition, yet the corruption on his form indicated there were more powers at work. I am not one to underestimate any being from becoming a potential foe.  Yet, I abided to the request taking my leave to patrol the area.

I kept frequent contact, although having to pause to dispatch the reason his robotic device was not responding. The equipment had disturbed a skeleton guardian amongst rubble of boulders, the animated corpse was dismantling the wires that made the thing function. I did not disturb it from doing so at first because I found it entertaining. It reminded me much of a ghoul beset upon prey. Yet each time the bone structured hand had hit upon the metallic flesh of the robot arching sparks ensued much to the skeleton’s increasing rage. I merely watched for a time, before I decided to end the cursed beings existence and return the ruined construct back to it’s rightful owner. As soon as it had been destroyed as where there was no sparking or indication that it would malfunction while I held it, in other words I allowed the skeleton to kill the construct dead, before I returned the favor to the animated bones. I find it peculiar, these beings that are much like myself are risen by other means. They seem to hold emotion easily, even ghouls have more... of what I lack. Is it because they remain dormant? How can mere bones, or a disembodied without a heart, without a soul, hold emotion, such as great rage, or delight? How do portions, pieces, reanimated objects retain such things? Is there a possibility if I discover the source of this I could breech those boundaries for myself? I had little time to investigate it further. As I had ended the skeleton, I called once more on the communication device to find no response. I inspected it, to ensure there was no malfunction, as perhaps my proximity to the malfunctioning construct had damaged it. I pressed the button again only to hear Shayna scream my name not through the device but through the echoing of the chamber.

I left the construct, making haste toward the two of them last known location. Perhaps, more of these cursed beings had risen, and my assistance was needed. Yet, as my approach around the square corner revealed there was but a portal, and Kel, Shayna was missing from my visual. Kel’s features were distorted, and before I made it fully to the area he had slipped into the portal with a laugh as it faded from view. I was left with my own devices, yet none could I use at the time or location to follow. I had been betrayed under false pretenses of requiring aid, that realization that I had brought the priestess to become kidnapped infuriated me. Kel would not have to concern himself over demonic runes when I was done with him.

Once I found them....

I had hoped That had followed Shayna, but that was not to be so. I instead contacted my uncle, the jin of the tribe I work for. He has many tribe members that could aid me, I needed a mage. One that could touch upon the source of the arcane, to follow where this particular portal had gone. Yet, to get to this skilled mage, I had to go through another to access to gain this skill set I now required. Ren’nari, my blood cousin....

The history there is thick... In my life I did not know Ren’nari had been my uncle’s son. A silver tongue lie presented by my father’s second mate, Mara’fi. As far as I had been aware, the child my father had used for his sport of pit fighting the amphitheater to gamble with. Ren’nari was merely an unwanted that Mara’fi had taken in, that my father had found a use for. That was all I had been aware of, I did not know the connection to my deceased uncle the child had, I did not recognize the youth as one my benefactors children as that had been hidden from me. I, personally in life had been disgusted by this use of slaves for gladiators in practice, as I believed it was beneath our ranks to do so, yet, I had my own life. I had my own duties, and ambitions. I could not allow that portion of my family’s lifestyle dominate my focus, I chose in majority to ignore it, yet, there had been moments I had spoke out about my disdain for such practices. Of course my father would not hear of such things from his sons, we were to continue to contribute to his misuse of our earnings as long as we held title amongst our regiments, or our mothers would suffer for it. There were many times I thought of killing my father, yet, that too I had been denied, as another had stuck him down.

Since my uncle brought me into the fold of his tribe, I have done tasks and duties for those within his ranks. I have had many charges, including that of Ren’nari’s mates. Regardless of the task, or my performance of duties, Ren’nari holds animosity in my direction as if I was the direct cause of any disruption of prosperity regardless of the circumstance. I allow it, as perhaps this anger in my direction is not the result of performance but that of past pains reflected upon my appearance, as I am my father’s son. The living tend to project that negativity upon those that they feel... safe to do so with. It irritates me, yet I will only tolerate the expressed behavior to a point. There will come a time, where my cousin will not feel, safe, around my presence to behave in such a manner. Convincing Ren’nari to use his female to locate Shayna caused a large disruption with the male, yet, he conceded her abilities under one condition that he too would allowed to be apart of seeking justice to this offense against the priestess, and the tribe. Many things are to be said about my cousin, yet, his mannerism of taking everything as personal insult, is baffling, entertaining, as well as to be used as a tool of manipulation to gain what one requires from him.

My uncle instructed me to go to his temple in the north to await orders from there. Later it would be granted as to how I would contribute in the search once they were established at the originating location as many of the members were investigating my folly. As Shayna may return to the temple, if she escaped.

It was then in the temple of my kin, I came to the realization that they perhaps kept me there in a means to pacify an emotional discord due to the event of the betrayal. Yet, I felt only one thing, rage. I had underestimated a potential foe, and had my generosity of service to those of horde taken advantage of. The offense I felt was not of my own. I cared not that another would use me, I cared not that I, myself was misled, it was the living’s well being at threat that angered me as this. I knew not what she would face at this individuals malice, I knew not what was wanted from her. I could not see past the pretense of desire to be healed. Shayna is not a weak, or delicate female, nor is she of a warrior’s mentality, she is a healer. It disturbs her to watch me feed, it bothers her to see others wounded as it is her nature to wish to heal those that are injured, to give solace and compassion. I admire those attributes greatly, as it makes the life of the living more productive in the time they have to live. Those I would turn from, she provides for, at times I have felt this as a needless act that can inflict as much needless emotional injury upon her person. Yet, I have found while in her company it is a needed pursuit for her to try to mend the wrongs and injustice the world has inflicted, in small and large ways. She contributes by the means in which she was blessed regardless of the outcome, because she does not have a choice. In a way she is just a slave to her design and purpose as I am to my own. Neither of us can stray too far from our confines, without returning to what we are.

I listened to the voices coming from the bijou communication devices, familiar voices, of those that are kin, and those were close enough to be considered brethren to the Jin. It could have been hours, or even a full day worth of speaking, yet no word as to where she could be found. My oversights had caused this, my attempts to justify it as something done because it was her influence did not excuse my faults in the matter. I would not have continued to speak to this Kel, yet I believed it would be something of interest for Shayna, to heal and mend someone that was requesting it. Did not excuse me from leaving her side, I had failed in my duty to protect her. The fact she was still missing proved as much.

A sound from the steps at the temple’s entrance had my attention drawn from the device I held. I was surprised I had not heard it sooner, and yet there she stood, a physical dishevelment, carrying Kel in her arms before she dropped him at the base. She was bleeding from cuts, bruised, her hair no longer a large crest, her outfit in tatters, no escort, or sign of arriving escort behind, it was if she was making an offering of that prone body on the ground. There was silence between us, before I merely said she was, late. It was too late in the day by the lighting outside to make an offering, and perhaps the jest was done in ill taste. I believe she was in distress, however, I am not a good judge of things. She began to explain she was not done with him, that she wanted one more attempt to correct this, to save Kel’s life. My only thought was to end him, as he was not only a threat to her, or myself but those citizens of the horde.

Shayna spoke of him pushing her through the portal but she would not be a willing victim, she fought at great length for what seemed like hours. That he suddenly had impossible strength for his appearance and she believed the magic that he was under the sway of contributed to this strength. Yet, light seemed to be his weakness, and that was the tool she had used to combat him. She also stated he had minions in this undisclosed location, and that she had traveled for again what seemed hours until she began to recognize the landscape. I believe I may be incorrect in some regard in my previous statement she may not have a warriors mentality, but she has a heart and spirit of one. She had made it home, without a valiant rescue, she had not been a damsel in distress, but a heroine. She could have been tortured, she could have been killed, but fought against odds that were against not only succeeding in rendering her foe unconscious but returning with him still intent to cure what remnants of his soul that remained in the shell of the body. Who was I to deny her continuing efforts? I believed she earned it.

I made a suggestion, to possible save Kel. If the ward was only corrupting the body and mind due to the fact he was alive, perhaps we should make an attempt to null the effects by killing him, temporary of course. If I killed him, she could remove the ward, then raise him from that small death to be completely healed. She wished to try once more without going to that extreme, that again I allowed it. Turning my back as she attempted to erase the ward while he was in that state unconsciousness. Apparently it did not succeed, for one moment Kel was unmoving and then the next he was launching himself at my person. I removed my weapon swiftly from it’s sheath as Shayna called out my name. In my swift turn I had impaled him under the chest, in which he sunk upon as if he was made of shadow. These sudden motions of action and violence had disturbed the priestess further, which irritated me immensely, as I desired to draw out his death slowly. I pulled my blade instead from his body quickly. She asked me not to let it end this way, just to allow her to heal him enough that he could be returned to the healing facilities in Dalaran. I am permissive to the priestess’s whims. If I was in her position from a tactical, and common sense stand point I would not allow him to live. Even as I was dispatching the barely living body to the medical providers in Dalaran I wanted him dead, yet I cannot refuse Shayna anything she wishes. It may not be out of pure passion or love, it may only be out of a sense of fealty to her. I cannot deny her wishes regardless if they make sense to me or not, I follow her demands unquestionably. Perhaps, my desire to fulfill her every wish to the precise nuance, is as powerful to her as a male that could give her true love, for she has yet to deny me my proposal.

I had returned to the temple to find her cleaned, drained of energy. She wished to speak on things, to spend time in my company as felt she could not sleep alone. She retold what had happened after I assured her I taken care of the matter, she should not concern herself over Kel. I apologized for my oversight of his deceitful behavior as well, and lack of service when it came to protecting her when it was needed. She spoke of needing closeness, and therefor I joined her in the furs to ease her mind of these thoughts that plagued her. I had fed on my return to the temple, to sate that urge to kill Kel, instead of doing it. I was aware she would not want me to kill him, and even though there had been an opportunity for me to do so on the flight I had not. I did not wish to displease her, even if she would not be aware if I lied. I had believed at the time there had been too much deceit to betray her in any degree this day, I had obeyed her regardless on my own desires. I wished to ease her mind of what caused this distress in her, and spent my focus on her what would please and ease her well being.

My focus had been so intent on erasing my failure to her, it did not resonate until later that evening that I had forgotten to speak of having Shayna at the temple. All I can assume was that she had spoke with the Jin and others for as I laid with her in the darkness lit only by pyre light within the temple did someone approach. My irrational, enraged cousin.... He held means to speak with me. I recall this clearly, his expressions, his vulgarity in words, his poise to do battle with me. To be frank, I was not going to tolerate the behavior any longer. Shayna had just found some peace, his arrival and presence was disturbing it. She was not content, therefore neither was I, if this altercation came to exchanging blows on her behalf so be it. He should not dishonor the priestess with such ill begotten terms. I prepared myself to take the oncoming impact to retaliate...

That was all... blackness, nothingness... The next moment I found myself in Shayna’s home, on her plush comforts of pillows and furs, confused and disorientated. Her face close to mine her tone but a question of my name “ Ra’rhuk? “

[deffy03]

Hi, My name's Arran. I am husband to a wonderful wife and two beautiful children. In April 2019 we made an offer on a home in Crieff, Scotland, having been renting a small home for a couple of years that was full of damp and we had to fight all the way to the ombudsman to prove that the estate agents had rented a property without properly declaring it's condition. We were successful, but what we thought was going to be a new chapter in our life, where we could begin to build a future, turned out to be an even worse nightmare. The Situation: We completed the sale in July 2019, and we were so happy to be moving into our new home - somewhere that was ours, that we could fill with love and fun. We took advantage of the Scottish Government's LIFT Scheme (where the government puts 30% towards the house, to be repaid on sale) - they approved the property after assessing the home reports and documents provided by the sellers. My wife is a full-time mum, and I work in IT (from home now, of course!) and she wanted to contribute to our income. The property we bought had a good-sized garage - perfect for one of my wife's ideas - dog grooming! All it would take is a little bit of renovation and some learning. After taking out a £20k loan to get off the ground (materials, labour and training courses), we hired a joiner to get to work on putting up a partition wall and an electrician to start expanding the electrics that were in the garage. One afternoon in December 2019, the joiner informed me that the garage was completely rotten - to the core! Suddenly dog grooming was a lot further away. We had the garage assessed by a damp and timber specialist, who concluded that the structure was not fit for purpose and posed a danger to life. As he was drilling, one of the main joists in the structure crumbled away due to dry rot. During our viewing we asked about the water stains on the ceiling panels - the sellers told us there was a leak in the roof which they have fixed and that the whole structure was sound and dry. Given it was a also listed as a category 1 - we had felt confident that it was at least a usable structure. The joiner feels that the state of the garage is due to there being a leak in the roof for YEARS, then once the leak was fixed the owners then added new ceiling panels and vents in order to dry out the beams - this is what caused the rot and where the water staining has come from. Of course, we contacted the surveyors who had provided the Home Report (which claimed everything was a category 1, with only a category 2 for 'uneven cobbles' in the front garden). They came out, investigated, and concluded that - yes, they should have marked this as a category 2 - it was obvious (to a qualified surveyor) there had been leakage and damage through damp, and should be noted on the report so that potential buyers could assess. The surveyors offered to send a contractor to fix the structure of the garage - we advised that according to the joiner and the timber and damp specialist that this was NOT an option. We politely asked for a little bit of time to decide, as we'd been recommended to check out some of the other areas of the house given that the garage had been covered up. We organised our own independent home report and the differences between the first one and our subsequent report are devastating! Our surveyor advised that we cannot legally sell this home due to the state of disrepair and our home was devalued by £6000. Our home is also category 3 for damp, rot and infestation (we have woodworm, with no definitive of whether it’s active or not) - the original home report had this as a category 1. We were advised by our surveyor to have the roof, electrics & boiler checked by specialist as these were all recategorized as a 2 and not a 1 as originally reported. There is no way the Scottish Government would have granted permission for us to buy this home through the Lift Scheme. In all, our home report flagged up 14 category 2s and the category 3 for 'damp, rot and infestation' (the original report had ONE category 2 - for uneven stones). We would expect home reports to differ on some matters, but to see such obvious contradictions was soul destroying. It became clear to us that the original surveyors had not conducted an actual, realistic report on the house. As we have been told frequently "you were presented with one house but sold another". We also discovered that the surveyors have an existing 'business relationship' with the sellers, and there was multiple, similar complaints, outstanding against not only the surveyor company, but the SPECIFIC SURVEYOR that was supposed to have produced the report on our home. We had an electrician come to do a report on the house, and he found that not only were the electrics dangerous, none of them met any kind of standard and were highly illegal - he suggested that the electrics had not been done by a professional. Our electrics were subsequently condemned. None of this was declared or noted in the documents prior to sale. Our electrician said that if something were to go wrong with an appliance, we would likely be electrocuted. He also said that if he had the power do to so, he would have to shut the electrics off. Further, he noted that there was no earth wire to the boiler, and recommended we have someone check out the boiler as it looked extremely unsafe to him. The boiler engineer was unable to check anything as he discovered that at some point, someone had drilled a toilet screw into the boiler casing (having presumably lost the original) which had ruptured the case. He was concerned that any attempt to service the boiler would result in a CO2 leak, and cause our gas to be shut off immediately. In the meantime, we are entitled (through Warmer Homes Scotland) to a replacement heating system. We were successful in the application, and an engineer came out to run tests and draw up for plans for installation. On doing a safety check in the kitchen, he found that the electrics were at a dangerously unsafe level, and therefore he would be unable to conduct ANY work in the house. Our shower broke, and the technician found the same thing - the electrics were far to dangerous for anyone to attempt any repairs. What have we done? After our initial panic and anger subsided, we began looking at how we could fix this situation. We contacted the original surveyors again, who came out to reassess. We also contacted our insurance provider, alerting them to a possible legal claim against the surveyors and sellers for misrepresentation; our insurance legal team suggested the case would be for criminal negligence. The surveyors concluded that they had indeed 'fallen short' of their 'usual high standards'. They would not specify in which regard they had fallen short, and offered us £3000 for full and final settlement. They would not specify what areas the settlement was for. Throughout, the surveyor's attitude was belligerent, avoidant and patronising. They repeatedly refused to answer questions or provide documentation that I asked for (such as proof that a surveyor had even attended the property). Given that we were already £20k down on a loan, £129,000 down on a mortgage for a house we would never have bought, we had to refuse the settlement. We then went through The Royal Institute For Chartered Surveyors (RICS) who offered us £4000. Our insurance legal team indicated that we had a likely claim, and we needed to be compensated adequately, not fobbed off early. After months of waiting, refilling out forms, discussions, letters, our insurance finally informed us in February 2021 (having first contacted them just under a year earlier) that they would be unable to cover any legal costs, as we were not covered by their policy at the time of making an offer. We are currently going through a complaints process to find out why we could not have been informed, even indicatively, that this stipulation would apply. We then started frantically contacting lawyers (who would be able to provide legal aid as all our money not tied into repayments, all our potential for credit has been exhausted by living here). We have been waiting for months to have phone calls returned, for emails to be replied to, for ANYTHING to move. Every law firm we have spoken to has said that we have an extremely strong case - but they either don't have the capacity to take us on, or don't provide legal aid. Even the Scottish Law Society (who are supposed to help you find legal assistance in a situation like this) are not taking phone calls and have not replied to a single email. We have called and written to MPs, to the solicitors who acted for us during purchase, to the estate agents who advertised the property - and nobody is helping us. We have recently had the electrics fixed (we could not live in such dangerous circumstances any longer, every day worrying about our children touching something) - and have had to borrow the almost £5000 from my in-laws to pay for it. What Do We Need? We now have NOTHING. We are living out of an overdraft that keeps getting deeper (and we're about at the limit). We have no prospects. To add to our distress - our eldest was diagnosed with ASD and probable ADHD and was excluded from school during his first few weeks in Primary 1. It has since been determined that it was completely unlawful, that he should have been protected by the Child's Plan from nursery and that the school lied repeatedly to try to avoid scrutiny. However, despite all this, there has been no justice for our son. Just a shrug and 'sorry'. Further, I was offered a lucrative opportunity by someone I used to work for. If I could pass the interviews, I would have been on a career path with massive potential. Slowly over a period of a few months, this opportunity was taken from me, without any explanation or reason and then eventually, he has decided to ignore my messages. I imagine the budget it no longer there to hire - but instead of being open about that (which I can more than handle), the decision has been to pretend I don't exist. With hindsight, we should have realised that the reports and description of the home was too good to be true. Given that no work had been declared, and there was no indication on the home report that things were anything less than in great condition - we were really not in the position to get surveys done for a potential offer. We're now left with a house we would never have bought (especially coming from a rented home that was damp), with debts we cannot pay, with dreams crushed, and with no conceivable way out. No one will help. No one is being held accountable. We have all relevant documents, and I am happy to answer any questions We always considered ourselves good people - trying to help when we can, donating to causes, helping friends and family where they need it. Giving people the benefit of the doubt and never asking for more than what we felt was fair. I have asked for £75,000 - to help us pay back our debts, bring the house up to the standard we were presented with at sale, to help us bring this case to court and to give us some room to breathe after being under crushing stress, depression, and hopelessness for so long. It will also allow us to repay my in-laws for the recent electrical work. But any amount would be greatly beneficial to us. All donations have our sincerest gratitude. Arran & family

[gamebnnat]

Might GMO Meals Perhaps Finish The Life?

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The actual query is the reason why is actually The united states may be the just nation on the planet that does not need the actual marking associated with GMO meals or even much better, the reason why it's actually essential for the actual chemical substance organization Monsanto in order to genetically alter meals which are the existence bloodstream in our living, and many significantly may then they end up being secure to take?

The actual Architectural Process within the GMO Meals Hereditary Architectural

Hereditary Architectural begins along with a few considered to have a chilly drinking water flounder gene as well as place this right into a tomato harvest therefore the harvest might endure cooler temps. In the event that this particular seems like Frankenstein it's, however a whole lot worse simply because Frankenstein had been just about all 1 varieties, however exactly what the actual daylights, in the event that this functions, exactly what might the issue end up being?

The next thing is actually scarier due to the just method to find the DNA from the flounder gene to the tomato gene is actually exactly what? What's proficient at invading tissue? Germs as well as Infections tend to be experts from this. This required Monsanto 12 many years, however they lastly discovered the dirt bacteria which was normally proof in order to Monsanto's pesticide Roundup, the chemical substance toxin the industry minor variance of the WW lmost all deadly neural gasoline as well as Vietnam's Broker Lemon.

After they recombine the actual microbial DNAs, this particular recombined microbial DNA has the capacity to permeate the actual cellular wall space. Another 2 choices associated with placing this particular recombined DNA to the plant's genetics utilizes electrical surprise in order to break open cellular wall space along with microscopic holes to feed after which there is the actual Gene Weapon that blasts the actual recombined DNA to the tissue upon moment contaminants associated with precious metal.

The actual Frankenstein GMO Meals Harvest

This particular development from the Frankenstein harvest using their tissue incorporated along with recombined DNA prospects all of us towards the element that's therefore frightening which it's authorization through the federal government associated with Wa DC might be simply irresponsibly self-serving.

Little bit, this will get much more intimidating simply because to be able to trigger the actual recombined DNA, another marketer gene can also be incorporated to make use of as an ignition change for that focus on gene. This particular marketer gene that is usually the Cauliflower Mosaic Computer virus might not usually restrict by itself in order to simply impacting the actual meant recombined gene. Due to the Mosaic Virus' powerful advertising impact, there might be unintentional genetics started up along with unintentional devastating outcomes, such as most cancers tissue or even additional disfiguring existence intimidating growths or even ailments.

GMO Meals Security Uses Wait around and find out Strategy

There's a actual likelihood how the intro associated with international virus' as well as germs DNA within vegetation as well as creatures might change towards all of us simply because this particular GMO meals technologies reaches this type of nanoscopic dimension which the majority of the technologies uses wait around and find out strategy. Simply no 1 however understands the actual lengthy variety results associated with utilizing germs as well as computer virus DNA in order to genetically professional vegetation so they might endure the actual lethal toxin Roundup. There's also a wait around and find out method of the results of the toxin slipping towards the floor getting into the actual groundwater as well as atmosphere because runoff, particularly since maqui berry farmers tend to be recognizing how the much more these people make use of Roundup, the greater they need to utilize it within increasing quantities.

Might GMO Meals turn out to be much more Frightening?

Have you been considering exactly how might something you have simply study obtain anymore frightening? It is because these types of Frankenstein staple GMO meals harvest seed products tend to be trademarked as well as possessed through the Monsanto Company, consequently every early spring, the actual maqui berry farmers should purchase these types of "patented" seed products through Monsanto, and also the super gallons associated with Roundup they have to squirt the actual Monsanto plants because they develop. The actual Monsanto Company purely prohibits the actual preserving associated with seed products because maqui berry farmers possess usually carried out as well as monitors lower as well as sues the actual maqui berry farmers that make an effort to. Actually, Monsanto models a good yearly spending budget associated with $10 zillion along with a employees seventy five plantation investigators dedicated exclusively in order to looking into as well as prosecuting maqui berry farmers. There are lots of instances every year associated with nuisance towards maqui berry farmers more than supposed unauthorized utilization of their own GMO seedling items even though these people blew within about the blowing wind through an additional plantation.

This isn't the very first time the federal government offers Humiliated in order to All of us

We have been informed because the center of the final hundred years which including Fluoride to the h2o might avoid teeth rot also it wasn't bad for people. It's used all of us 70 in addition many years to understand which we have been humiliated in order to. Presently there is actually, absolutely no enhancement within stopping teeth rot as well as there's gathering information associated with it's dangerous as well as damaging results upon people. Fluoride isn't officially the GMO Meals simply because it doesn't genetically alter water all of us consume, however it is definitely an additional procedure producing numerous rich. It will absolutely nothing associated with exactly what these people guaranteed and it is wrecking the actual life associated with a lot of residing in regions of fluoridated seas when compared with individuals places as well as nations which have declined in order to fluoridate their own seas.

Have you been Acquainted with The current Specialists Disclaimers upon Fluoridation?

John Connett, PhD within biochemistry and biology said that after historians arrived at come up with this era, they'll pick out fluoridation since the solitary greatest error in public places plan which we have ever endured. Obviously, that could quickly end up being overshadowed through GMO Meals.

Donald Kennedy, DDS as well as Leader Worldwide Academy associated with Dental Medication as well as Toxicology left a comment which within the background from the earth drinking water fluoridation may be the solitary biggest situation associated with medical scams, marketed through the federal government, backed through taxpayer bucks, assisted as well as abetted through the ADA and also the AMA, Fascinating simply because we now have the actual FDA advertising the actual popularity associated with GMO meals.

Charles Gordon Heyd, MARYLAND, as well as Leader from the AMA had been appalled in the prospective client associated with utilizing drinking water like a automobile with regard to medicines. He or she experienced which fluoride is really a corrosive toxin that could create severe results on the lengthy variety foundation and also to make use of drinking water by doing this had been merely deplorable.

M. Alesen, MARYLAND as well as Leader from the Ca Healthcare Organization promoters which absolutely no doctor within their correct thoughts might actually hands in order to their individual the bottled full of a few harmful medication along with directions to consider just as much or even very little from it because he or she wanted. He's worried why the general public Wellness Support is actually involved on their own common propaganda plan in order to demand which towns perform precisely which? Doctor. Alesen had been sure the objective of giving fluoride wasn't in order to make water provide real as well as potable however in order to ruin this having a harmful as well as poisonous medication with regards to giving bulk medicine towards the customer with no smallest respect for their grow older or even health.

Albert Schatz, PhD Nobel Laureate with regard to finding streptomycin offers indicated their issue which fluoridation is the foremost scams which has have you been perpetrated upon individuals as well as thinks it's been perpetrated upon much more individuals compared to every other scams offers. Obviously fluoridation may be a 2nd price scams because individuals may alternative fluoridated drinking water as well as toothpaste, although not therefore very easily replaced is actually just about any GMO meals item about the racks.

Dean Burk, PhD using the Nationwide Most cancers Start offers surprised all of us using the figure which much more individuals possess passed away within the last thirty many years through most cancers associated with fluoridation compared to all of the army fatalities within the whole background associated with america. Because incredible because this particular figure is actually, it is absolutely nothing when compared to proven fact that these people nevertheless fluoridate drinking water, or even which practically everybody in the usa has become sick as well as overweight which might be the actual GMO meals factor.

A good Environment Safety Company scientist, Doctor. Robert Carton within 1999 learned that fluoridation had been the best situation associated with medical scams of the hundred years, otherwise ever. Doctor. Carton right now must arrive on together with his viewpoint upon GMO meals.

Monsanto's Protection associated with Genetically Architectural the Meals Plants

GMO businesses such as Monsanto possess statements with regard to GMO Meals that are launched right here, however do not these people eerily run into such as individuals "claims" which fluoridated drinking water wasn't dangerous and can avoid dental care rot that we have now understand to become completely fraudulent? Monsanto statements which the current worldwide populace approaching 7 million individuals as well as developing a sufficient meals provide may be a issue consequently their own GMO meals are essential to satisfy this particular need in many methods:

Within Insect opposition, developing GMO meals for example Bt hammer toe might help get rid of the use of chemical substance pesticides such as Roundup however Bt hammer toe continues to be the GMO Meals using the pesticide within this. These people make use of a contaminant made by the actual Bacillus thuringiensis bacteria that functions just like a pesticide. Monsanto began placing these types of genetics that signal for that contaminant straight into the actual hereditary signal from the hammer toe as well as should also incorporate a portion of marketer gene signal which may motivate the actual hammer toe to create the actual contaminant. Additionally they place the gun gene that could supply in order to monitor as well as determine altered hammer toe.

With regard to Herbicide threshold, Monsanto includes a stress associated with soybeans genetically altered to become untouched through their own herbicide item Roundup, Through deterioration vegetation as well as advertising illness, the actual chemical substance glyphosate referred to as Roundup starts the doorway to a lot of difficulties within the atmosphere based on Doctor. Wear Huber associated with Purdue College. Using glyphosate Roundup is actually documented to build up forty illnesses within harvest vegetation as well as this particular quantity keeps growing because individuals arrived at much more identify the actual organization in between glyphosate as well as illness.

Being Illness opposition from the numerous infections, fungus as well as germs which trigger grow illnesses, consequently it seems sensible which Monsanto try to produce vegetation they might genetically professional in order to opposition in order to these types of illnesses. In the event that this particular had been truly feasible, they might likewise genetically professional most of us to ensure that all of us as well turn out to be proof in order to our illnesses. Just how can these people be prepared to genetically professional vegetation in order to avoid illnesses once the hereditary architectural by itself may expose illnesses?

To build up Chilly threshold utilizing an antifreeze gene through chilly drinking water seafood that's been launched in to cigarettes as well as spud vegetation, however this particular nevertheless has not tackled the problem how the seafood genetics tend to be launched to the transgenic grow genetics while using recombined DNA through infections as well as germs. Any kind of unintentional outcomes through simply this particular tend to be along with feasible unintentional outcomes in the extra required marketer "kick-starting" gene which nobody is actually however certain exactly what otherwise this particular marketer gene may stop begin within the human being customer of those GMO meals.

Making Drought threshold as well as Salinity threshold vegetation that may endure drought along with a higher sodium content material within the dirt as well as groundwater is a good objective however, right here as well maqui berry farmers have been carrying this out for hundreds of years via picky reproduction without having genetically architectural all of them. Most of all, Monsanto isn't declaring right here which they have actually had the opportunity to get this done which makes it a part of which azure skies they are piece of art to possess all of us believe they are upon a few prosperous route.

To improve Nourishment simply because malnutrition is actually typical almost everywhere individuals are not consuming wholesome as well as particularly within lesser nations that mainly depend for a passing fancy harvest for example grain for his or her primary staple associated with diet plan. Monsanto really wants to genetically professional grain for instance in order to include extra minerals and vitamins to make a type of a good all-in-one grow which seems appealing. However once again, recombining Computer virus as well as germs DNA as well as placing all of them using the marketer as well as gun transgenic genetics in to vegetation all of us consume to ensure that even though they might acquire these types of uncertain outcomes, may these people end up being secure in order to absorb in to human being physiques without having unintentional unwanted unwanted effects?

As well as would you think we want much more Drugs? Medications as well as vaccines tend to be pricey to create however much more pricey to promote because observed through the numerous pharmaceutical drug advertisements upon TELEVISION twenty-four-seven. Monsanto is actually trying to create tomato plants as well as taters because a different one dosage suits just about all, regardless of whether you'll need this or even not really shipping program just as all of us toxin ourself with this 1 dosage associated with fluoride suits just about all in most decrease associated with drinking water as well as toothpaste. Exactly the same GMO meals grow dose might pressured on babies, small children, teens, grown ups as well as grandma and grandpa as well that just about all occur to consume the tomato or even possess pasta for lunch, as well as exactly what pharmaceutical drug organization does not would like this particular?

We're able to begin by using designed vegetation as well as trees and shrubs to get rid of or even reduce the effects of pollutants within contaminated dirt or even groundwater referred to as Phytoremediation. Dirt as well as groundwater air pollution is unquestionably an issue all around the globe. Poplar trees and shrubs happen to be genetically designed to assist cleanup heavy metal and rock air pollution through polluted dirt as well as here's 1 location in the event that this functions, will be congratulated simply because all of us do not usually consume trees and shrubs.

GMO Meals Background

The very first in a commercial sense developed genetically altered GMO meals harvest came into being within the earlier 1990s having a tomato called the actual FlavrSavr through Calgene, the industry Ca organization along with Monsanto possession because 1996. The actual hereditary architectural changed the actual tomato in order that it required lengthier in order to decay other than this didn't market nicely consequently final lengthy about the grocery store racks since it had been unacceptably dull.

A number of our Government's personal medical advisors had been worried more than feasible damaging wellness results, however this particular didn't avoid as well as hold off the federal government through signing the actual GMO tomato and additional made the decision which GMO meals generally wouldn't need pre-market authorization despite the fact that Doctor Arpad Pusztai from the Rowett Investigation Start within 1996 released their investigation recommending which GMO taters altered having a snowdrop grow insecticide gene had been poisonous in order to rodents within giving tests.

An individual Viewpoint upon GMO Meals

From the individual viewpoint are not all of us surprised, appalled as well as upset this info may be intentionally hidden through all of us through individuals federal government companies billed along with safeguarding all of us?

About the good be aware may be the awaking attention towards the hazards associated with GMO meals because observed through the huge developing quantity of documentaries that are available on all the free of charge as well as compensated movie systems such as Netflix for instance. The meals provide as well as what we should consume is actually these days most likely the main topic with regard to documentaries, each one of these another viewpoint upon precisely how harmful the actual Hereditary Architectural in our plants tend to be. High of all of them tend to be about the total insufficient any kind of actual validation besides for that Monsanto Company in order to obvious as well as personal the meals seed products therefore making maqui berry farmers to purchase from their store every early spring that right now additionally involves need increasingly more associated with it's poisonous chemical substance Roundup to create all of them develop.

GMO Meals don't have to end up being tagged in the united states simply because Monsanto offers fought against difficult to avoid marking laws and regulations. This really is particularly worrying because the majority of the prepared meals about the food racks as well as freezers possibly tend to be or even include GMO elements. As well as we are the actual poor mother and father with this nation simply because numerous countries such as europe, Asia, The far east, Korea, Sydney as well as Brand new Zealand just about all possess required GMO Meals marking so they will not unconsciously function GMO meals for their kids.

Monsanto's GMO Meals Viewpoint

The turning doorway is available in between Monsanto as well as the federal government regulating as well as judicial physiques producing their own self-serving deceptive choices. Within 1992, after that Vice Leader Serta Quayle introduced the actual FDA's anti customer right-to-know plan that mentioned which GMO meals do not need to end up being tagged neither safety-tested. It was within the arguments of numerous notable researchers such as Arpad Pusztai as well as Gilles-Eric Seralini that promoted their own worrying investigation exposing the actual serious harm to monkeys as well as laboratory rodents given GMO meals such as: sanitation, most cancers, miscarriages, allergic reactions, seizures, as well as passing away.

Monsanto additionally experienced powerful scarves towards the George Watts. Rose bush management such as Steve Ashcroft, Jesse Rumsfeld, Ann Veneman, Tommy Thompson as well as Rights Clarence Jones who had been the Monsanto Company lawyer within the 1970s hired towards the Best Courtroom through George Rose bush Sr. within 1990 exactly where he or she authored most viewpoint within the 2001 Best Courtroom choice which made the way in which with regard to Monsanto in order to obvious as well as personal seed products

Within an additional instance, Monsanto lobbyist Erina Ur. Taylor remaining Monsanto to operate with regard to an attorney attaining FDA authorization associated with Monsanto's synthetic growth hormones within the 1980s. Then grew to become the actual deputy commissioner from the FDA through 1991 in order to 1994 whenever rBGH had been given authorization. He or she had been hired Older Agent towards the Meals & Medication Management (FDA) Commissioner upon meals security last year through Leader Barack Obama.

Doctor. Erina The. Friedman had been the deputy commissioner from the FDA prior to he or she had been employed like a older vice leader associated with Monsanto. Linda T. Fisher had been a good helper manager from america Environment Safety Company (EPA) prior to being a vice leader from Monsanto through 1995-2000. Fisher after that grew to become the actual Deputy Manager from the EPA within 2001.

Probably the most devious of those intertwining associations may be the actual previous Assistant associated with Protection Jesse Rumsfeld below each Leader Kia as well as Leader George Rose bush. He or she had been the actual chairman as well as ceo associated with Grams. Deb. Searle & Company. the pharmaceutical drug organization that Monsanto bought within 1985 such as a few ghoulish intend to earn money very first through sickening all of us along with GMO Meals after which enjoying the actual pharmaceutical drug earnings about the back again aspect.

Within This summer 08, Monsanto introduced it's programs to boost the typical cost of the GMO hammer toe types $95-100 for each tote, an astounding 35%, in order to best $300 for each tote despite the fact that the 1999 overview of Roundup Prepared soybean plants discovered which when compared to best traditional types, these people really experienced the 6. 7% reduce deliver.

Mr. James Stokes from the Business with regard to Aggressive Marketplaces (OCM) explains the actual ramifications with regard to the current maqui berry farmers observing exactly how this particular ridiculous $100 cost improve on the player that farming 1, 000 miles for instance, for any major elevated price in excess of $40, 000. But, there's the actual perhaps reduce deliver therefore, exactly where is actually any kind of medical foundation in order to warrant this particular cost backpack keeping accurate with regard to additional GM plants too? In only 24 months through 2006 in order to 08, the typical cost with regard to soybean seedling, the biggest GMO Meals harvest in the united kingdom offers increased through a lot more than 50%, through $32. thirty in order to $49. twenty three for each grown acre.

Almost any meals all of us purchase that contains natural oils is actually possibly likely to end up being Monsanto GMO soy, Monsanto GMO canola, or even Monsanto GMO cottonseed essential oil. Which container might study "pure veggie oil" however is generally 100% GMO soy. Actually the actual "olive oil" mayonnaise listings GMO soy since the 2nd component following drinking water. All of us know which natural hemp essential oil for instance, will be a much less dangerous GREENER grow to create these types of foods from having a status that's really proven to market wellness instead of deterioration this.

GMO Soy proteins is definitely an unlabeled component inside a big number of the actual meals you might unconsciously think secure for example greens dressings, sauces, fake meat, drink powders, non-dairy creamers, freezing sweets, whipped leading, bread, taco covers, cheeses, breakfast every day cereals, pastas, as well as dog meals as well as baby formulations.

Summary:

In the event that grocery store meals had been tagged "GE" or even "GMO Foods" they'd take a seat on the actual racks permanently because may be confirmed away from UNITED STATES exactly where you will find marking laws and regulations

Is not this particular a simple issue to determine?

The actual Monsanto lawyer Rights Clarence Jones gets the Best Courtroom Assess after which creates which Monsanto may obvious as well as personal the meals plants? The actual previous Monsanto lobbyist Erina Ur. Taylor gets the actual Older Agent towards the Meals & Medication Management (FDA) Commissioner upon meals security. The deputy commissioner from the FDA, Doctor. Erina The. Friedman had been employed like a older vice leader associated with Monsanto. A good helper manager from the EPA, Linda T. Fisher grew to become the vice leader from Monsanto through 1995-2000 in order to after that grew to become the actual Deputy Manager from the EPA within 2001. Assistant associated with Protection Jesse Rumsfeld had been the actual chairman as well as BOSS associated with Grams. Deb. Searle & Company. the pharmaceutical drug organization that Monsanto bought within 1985. Along with simply this particular incomplete listing of best Monsanto professionals revolving backwards and forwards between your FDA, the us government and also the Monsanto Company, just how can all of us be likely to think they have the greatest curiosity more than their very own in your mind? Exactly how might presently there not really end up being overt issues associated with pursuits?

It's OKAY to become really Scared

Does not all this brand new technologies include queries as well as concern? Do you know the actual dangers of those however to become recognized tests upon character? Exactly what on arriving results may this particular possess about the atmosphere? Are not presently there severe health issues customers associated with changed GMO meals should know? Is actually this particular Frankenstein technologies associated with recombinant DNA truly good for people by any means? Are not a person whatsoever worried how the runaway being overweight as well as illness developing with this nation is within immediate percentage towards the Frankenstein GMO meals becoming privately fooled on all of us?

A clear issue along with pest-resistant as well as herbicide-resistant vegetation may be the powerful picky stress for the reason that environment that could most likely trigger a good development associated with likewise proof bugs as well as therefore nullify the results from the germs, grow as well as pet transgenic meals harvest. Since the spraying associated with herbicides gets much more regular because maqui berry farmers are actually going through along with Roundup, the encompassing weeds may also create a opposition. This could normally result in a additional improve within the Roundup dose as well as rate of recurrence or even a alter within herbicide to a different much more gruesome contaminant certainly within improvement. Nobody is actually however certain if the insect proof attribute of those GMO plants might be used to the encircling weeds leading to traces of these being proof and much more productive.

It may actually obtain a lot more Convoluted as well as Frightening

Because the insect-resistant vegetation may cause elevated passing away associated with it's acquainted insect, could not which get rid of competitors for that small unwanted pests in order to after that ask them to turn out to be an issue? Or even, possibly could not insect-resistant vegetation trigger their own acquainted insect populace in order to change to a different grow harvest which was as soon as unthreatened through all of them? These types of unintentional results might grow away a lot additional. Research associated with Bt plants demonstrated which regrettably advantageous bugs that victimize acquainted harvest unwanted pests had been additionally normally subjected to dangerous amounts associated with Bt. We're able to right now realize practical options for that results to keep to achieve additional in the meals internet in order to ultimately impact vegetation as well as creatures eaten through people.

Additional toxicological analysis as well as overview may figure out in the event that residues through herbicides such as Roundup or even insect proof vegetation might damage or even mutate essential categories of microorganisms present in the encompassing dirt for example germs, the actual fungus or even nematodes, as well as every other microorganism in whose unintentional natural alter might reduce the meals plants.

The actual possible dangers all of us blindly take along with illness proof vegetation offer mainly along with virus-like opposition and may consequently result in the actual development associated with brand new infections that consequently indicates brand new untreatable illnesses. Normally happening infections which are recombined along with virus-like pieces which are after that launched to produce transgenic vegetation might type brand new infections that are after that created in to numerous book variants which there isn't any foreseeable end result.